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coldmorte · 4 years ago

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Hi! I hope you doing good. First of all I want to say I am so in love with your writings. You are so good.

And my ask is .. do you think Dutch gets jealous over Arthur spending time with other males?

If he does how would he react to?

Hello!!!

I am doing considerably better now that I completed two massive writing assignments and once again have some time to write what I want! I hope you are also doing well 😘

Speaking of which, I really do appreciate the kind words. I am glad my writings have some meaning to others! And I ALWAYS appreciate asks pertaining to VanderMorgan and Dutch in general. Anybody is welcome to send in as many as they want. I’m always down to provide answers to the best of my abilities!

As for this ask in particular, I’m putting the rest under a cut because it gets fairly long! I hope you don��t mind 💜💜

(But for anybody who is interested and doesn’t want to take the time…)

TL;DR - Yes, I think Dutch could experience jealousy. This feeling would lead to a variety of negative interactions with Arthur, most of which would stem from a mix of Dutch’s pride and his insecurities.

There are a few angles from which this set of questions can be approached.

(I wasn’t sure if you meant with other males in a platonic sense or something more intimate. I tried to keep the answers here relatively neutral/vague in that sense. For the most part, they can be interpreted either way!)

If there is an established relationship between Dutch and Arthur…

I certainly think Dutch could get jealous in this situation, but he would disguise it well.

Dutch would be somewhat self-conscious. He would fear he wasn’t enough for Arthur. He would start to doubt himself if Arthur is around other men a lot.

On top of that, he would have a certain level of vanity that would prevent him from expressing his feelings. He wouldn’t be comfortable admitting this truth.

Outwardly, he would try to pin blame on Arthur. He would make it seem like it is Arthur’s fault that he is agitated, and he would claim Arthur is acting irresponsibly by being with others. But deep down, the discomfort would be more out of personal anxiety (I go into more detail on this in the next section).

Furthermore, the power construction can go two ways…

I think the more natural reaction is to say Dutch would be more dominant under these conditions. He would want to make Arthur his and ensure Arthur knows damn well who is in control.

Also, loyalty tests might be more intense. Dutch would constantly make Arthur prove his obligation to their relationship above all else.

However, Dutch might be willing to grant some submission to Arthur in this situation as well.

How bad does Arthur want him? Is Arthur willing to take control? Is he willing to show that he is capable of honoring Dutch’s trust and demands?

By giving Arthur a semblance of power of him, Dutch would be able to see his true level of comfort and commitment in regard to the relationship.

Overall, I think the extent of Dutch’s jealousy would rely on Arthur’s ability to demonstrate commitment. If Arthur repeatedly proves himself, Dutch would reflect a sense of confidence. He would be less likely to get upset if he sees Arthur with others. If Arthur acts in a hesitant manner around Dutch, he would fear Arthur isn’t really committed to him. This would significantly increase his potential for jealous behavior.

If there is no established relationship (but Dutch is attracted to Arthur)…

(This is the most complex angle and the hardest to break down. I will try to convey my thoughts as clearly as possible!)

I headcanon Dutch as being a relatively self-conscious person, deep down. It comes along with his pride.

In fact, pride is partly the result of his self-consciousness. It serves as a way of concealing and compensating for his insecurities. He is afraid of failure and rejection, so a heightened sense of self-esteem masks that part of him.

Dutch is VERY contradictory in many, many ways. For instance, he both wants to rebel against societal norms, but he still cares about his image and how others see him.

As a result of this, he would try very hard to suppress his feelings.

On one hand, he welcomes the attraction towards Arthur because the idea of it goes against a lot of social expectations that he loathes. It would be a turn-on.

On the other hand, there would be a degree of shame. Again, he still cares a lot about his image, and he knows people would treat him differently if knowledge of his attraction got out. People wouldn’t take him as seriously.

And could you imagine if his revelation was unrequited?

Dutch would be devastated if he made himself vulnerable enough to admit his feelings to Arthur, only to discover Arthur did not feel the same way. Again, pride.

So, to come back to the idea of Dutch seeing Arthur with other men under these conditions, he would be quite conflicted.

Dutch would want to express himself to Arthur, but he would consider such a forthright task too undignified and risky. He prefers to only be candid with such intimate emotions if he feels absolutely certain that the response will be favorable. Without insight into how Arthur would react, he would prefer to hold back.

Also, seeing Arthur with other men would only amplify his insecurities.

Dutch would be jealous of Arthur and whoever he spends time with, but he would feel self-doubt as well. He would question why it wasn’t him Arthur was with, or why he didn’t have the humility to be more open.

Thus, his negative feelings towards the situation would be a mix of resentment because somebody else is in the place he wants to be in, while at the same time, he partly detests himself for not having the courage to do much about it.

Not to mention, Dutch’s feelings would probably have a spiraling effect. His frustrations would mostly cause him to act increasingly agitated around Arthur, which he would continually regret. This would only make him feel like he was worsening his chances with Arthur. He would become more and more disappointed in himself over time.

So, to try to summarize this section up, Dutch would certainly be jealous of those other men, but he wouldn’t know how to address this dilemma in an honest manner. He would internalize his feelings, and he would only get more frustrated as he feels his chances of starting anything with Arthur keep getting worse.

How Arthur would feel about Dutch’s jealousy….

Well, first of all, Arthur is not a person who makes many serious assumptions or sees himself as a point of much attention.

Arthur would not think Dutch’s jealousy/antagonistic attitude stems from an attraction to himself. He probably would not pick up on it.

If Dutch acts agitated around Arthur, he wouldn’t really understand why. Arthur would not assume it’s because he spends time with other men.

Furthermore, Arthur’s unassuming nature would probably amplify Dutch’s frustrations. If he wants Arthur to know how he really feels, it means he needs to be straightforward. He would detest the inability to send implicit messages.

Dutch might even try to put himself closer with other males to get a reaction out of Arthur.

For instance, getting closer with Micah could be an attempt to make Arthur to fight for him. It wouldn’t even be about liking Micah, but Dutch just wants Arthur to prove his commitment (especially if Dutch feels betrayed by or jealous of Arthur)

A part of Dutch might want to inflict some of the pain he feels back on Arthur. This would be self-destructive, of course. Dutch oftentimes has a predisposition to revenge, but he cares about Arthur. He wouldn’t honestly want to see him hurt, but revenge is just in his nature. It would be a natural reaction.

Whether there is an established relationship or not, if his attempts to hurt Arthur/make Arthur jealous fail, it would only make Dutch more miserable in the end.

Other than males…

Personally, I don’t even think Dutch’s jealousy would be limited to other men. What about women?

In the general sense, Dutch just wants security. He wants to know that he has full commitment.

In some ways, Arthur spending a lot of time with women might be even worse, especially if there is no established relationship between them. Dutch would feel an even stronger sense of shame because he would probably see Arthur as being out of reach. He would assume Arthur would have no interest in someone of the same sexual identity.

However, even if they do have an established relationship, Dutch might display some feelings of doubt. He might question whether Arthur’s feelings towards him are honest, or he might even wonder if he’s enough for Arthur.

Now, that is a LOT of information I just threw out there.

To again sum up a lot of these points - yes.

I think Dutch would, in general, be capable of jealousy. Even if he has an intimate relationship with Arthur, there would always be a hint of insecurity and doubt beneath the surface. He would consider being open with such emotions undignified, and his frustrations would be manifested in unnecessary anger or agitation.

I gave this lots of thought over the past few days, so I hope my responses make sense! Dutch is a walking contradiction. He is very complex, so I tried to break down his intricacies in a clear manner. And again, these are just based on my insights and interpretations into the characters. I’d be curious to hear any thoughts, and of course, if you have any other questions, fire away!!!

🥭 Keep the faith 🥭

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infinite-infinite-stars · 2 years ago

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oooo oki okok. General 2, love 6 and 7, domestic life 10

Never done a ask before cuz I social anxiet

But the Captaineer brainrot is stronger than the anxiet

Amen to that, sweetie~. Captaineer brings us all together xP Thank you so much for the ask!

GENERAL: 2 - "Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?"

Y'know, after everything they've been through by the time they get together I don't think Yona would particularly care about having a something to point to as an "official first date"? Honestly, she'd be fine with just calling the first time they had lunch together in the ship's cafeteria after exchanging "I love you's" their first date xP

BUT let's be real, Mark is a total sap and you know he would absolutely insist on taking her out Properly™. And since it's clearly so important to him, Yona is more than happy to agree~.

She schedules a day off for the two of them as soon as she feels she can justify doing so (technically as Captain she can do it at any time, but neither she nor Mark are the type to shirk their duties). They're still in the early stages of settling the new planet, but the brunt of the hard work would be over by now, I think.

(The first time Yona led this colony-- before the time loops started and after Mark was lost to the vacuum of space-- she basically never took days off and was always trying to keep herself busy. Maybe her guilt over not being able to save Mark compelled her to be extra hands-on, in the hopes of preventing more tragic accidents like that. Or maybe she was just trying to distract herself from the loss of her right-hand-man. Either way, she's trying not to be that way this time around. She's trying to remember that she can rely on her crew as much as they rely on her.)

Anyway, the colony is bustling, but they haven't exactly worked their way up to restaurants and movie theaters yet, so Yona and Mark's options are a bit limited in terms of traditional date venues xP. They content themselves with a picnic basket, a blanket, and a quiet grassy hill with a nice view, and they have a lovely time~. Also Yona surprises Mark with flowers and he nearly cries.

LOVE: 6 - "Who’s the big and little spoon?"

They alternate! :D

LOVE: 7 - "What are their favorite things to do together?"

Well, the majority of their time is spent doing their jobs, which does involve seeing a lot of each other, even if it's not really something they "do together" the way the question means. And they're around the rest of the crew a lot, too (I love the idea of the crew all hanging out together during their downtime and like, having a campfire or a game night or something~).

But this means they've basically gotta take snatches of one-on-one time whenever they can get it: a shared coffee break here, help with a minor repair there, exploring the environment of the new planet, etc. Most of their alone time comes in the evenings or early mornings, and is usually devoted to unwinding from a busy day (or getting ready for one), chit-chatting, and having a good cuddle~.

DOMESTIC LIFE: 10 - "Who’s the better cook?"

Mark is. Yona... never really properly learned to cook. She knows how to use a microwave, and like, make a sandwich, and follow instructions on the back of a box in a pinch, but that's about it. I think she might try to get better once they settle into life on the new colony and she has more time on her hands though~.

Meanwhile, Mark's not unbelievable at cooking or anything, but he's pretty good? He’s at least done it more often than Yona has. He likes it okay and I can see him having, like, a family recipe or two that he can whip out every now and then.

(Some of you might recall me saying that Yona spent some time as a nanny before joining the space force. No need to worry about the kids she looked after-- like I said, Yona knows how to make sandwiches, at least; plus there would often be leftovers in the fridge, or fruit she could cut up or something, and if all else fails? Order takeout.)

#iswm #captaineer #captainsona #captain yona masters #engineer mark #engineer mark x female captain #Headcanons

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wherevermyway · 4 years ago

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can’t wait for you (to shut me up) // binsung // oneshot // 18+

pairing: seo changbin x han jisung rating: explicit! 18+ warnings/tags: smut, food kink, roommates, spicy (literally), dacryphilia, don’t try this at home, explicit sexual content word count: 5,475 also on AO3

originally posted: 14 december 2020

Han Jisung doesn’t turn down a dare. Ever. His roommate and occasional fuckbuddy, Seo Changbin, however, makes Jisung regret being so cocky and arrogant after he gets his hands on some capsaicin extract.

Alternatively: fuck bruh moments, Jisung has an Icarus moment.

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction! any reference to persons in this work of fiction are purely coincidental. the characters referenced from Stray Kids are interpretations loosely based on their personalities in the group and do not represent the real people behind the personas. if this, or any of the content included in the warnings above make you uncomfortable, please stop reading now.

Saturday nights always proved to be bizarre. Jisung’s friend and roommate, Changbin, was quiet and reserved six out of seven days of the week, only completely opening up as he got drunk and played some stupid multiplayer game every Saturday evening. As the night went on and Changbin’s friends logged off, the two of them would usually split a twelve pack of cheap beer together, take a break from their class projects, and do stupid things that usually involved drunken dares.

Jisung was never one to turn down a dare. He had an arrogant nature that would likely prove to be a fatal flaw one day. “You’re gonna regret that,” Changbin would tut, shaking his head after Jisung would accept a dare without hearing it out. Usually, it was something stupid or mindless, like licking honey off of Changbin’s foot, or walking through the library with a vibrating butt plug for as long as the upperclassman deemed necessary.

They weren’t dating — at least, not officially; this was something they constantly stressed with each other and their friends. Their relationship was just an eclectic, liberal interpretation on the boundaries of friendship. Friends could fuck each other after all, right? Honestly, the sex was too good between them to really bother with dating other people, but they did agree that they weren’t exclusive, even if it had been a year and a half of the same strange dynamic.

“You stupid motherfucker!” Jisung could hear Changbin shouting at the television all the way down the dorm hallway. The anthropology student was generally mellow and calm, until he had a couple beers in his system and joined a gaming session with his friend Chan.

The younger blond shook his head with a smirk as he ripped his lanyard out of his pocket, shuffling around to get the correct key to their dorm in between his fingers. The four single-serve shots Jisung snuck into the library for his study session were having an effect on his ability to smoothly rifle through the keys, but not enough to actually affect his cognition. Jisung slid the key into the lock and turned it.

When he opened the door, he expected to see Changbin, but he didn’t expect to see him in a loose, torn tank top and basketball shorts, especially not in the dead of winter. Toronto was cold, even indoors, and Changbin was sometimes nothing short of a madman. The older man was too busy yelling banter into his headset to notice Jisung standing in the doorway with his eyebrows comically raised and his jaw hanging open a bit.

Jisung tried to regain his composure before Changbin realized that his roommate was home, but, as he brought his bottle of beer up to his lips, the older man turned his head slightly, and they made eye contact. A bit of lager splashed up against Changbin’s face; he recoiled and quickly wiped his chin off. Jisung darted his eyes away, nearly forgetting to remove his key from the lock as he shut the door behind him and awkwardly mumbled some sort of greeting.

There was tinny chatter coming from Changbin’s headset, knocked slightly askew, and the older man scoffed. “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he rolled his eyes and offered a polite wave with his fingers as he stared at the television, mashing some buttons on the controller in his hand. He set the near-empty bottle down on the table and raised his voice a bit. “If these motherfuckers would stop spawning missile launchers and aiming them solely at me, maybe I’d be able to help better.”

Jisung set his bag down on the kitchenette countertop, then opened the fridge and grabbed two beers from the door. He scanned the contents of the fridge, hoping that there was still leftovers from a couple nights prior. However, his face fell to a slight frown as nothing but a half-empty carton of whole milk and seven bottles of beer stared back at him. It was late, and Changbin probably figured Jisung would eat while he was out.

He wasn’t incorrect, but Jisung really looked forward to stealing one of the cold slices of leftover pizza when he got home; it always went well with the Molson Changbin would get for the weekend after class on Fridays. It was a mediocre beer at best, but it was good for mindless drinking. “Bummer,” Jisung muttered under his breath, grabbing a couple of the bottles from the shelf. He closed the door to the fridge and took the magnetic bottle opener off of the door. He popped the caps off of the beer bottles, leaving the bent metal on the countertop as he made his way over to the cheap, scratchy couch, languidly flopping down next to Changbin, putting an amber bottle down on the table next to his other beer bottle.

The older man grunted as thanks, focusing on the enemy in his sights on the screen, his tongue between his teeth and eyes squinting in concentration. This week’s gaming session with Chan featured Grand Theft Auto V, Jisung recognized the map. Changbin had mentioned something about a double XP event, and that he and Chan were trying to get their crew’s ranking higher up the list. It was all some inane bullshit that went in one ear and out the other to Jisung, but he enjoyed listening to it, regardless, since Changbin’s face would light up as he passionately explained just how renowned their crew had gotten.

This also meant that Jisung could get away with being a little handsy with Changbin, especially since he started drinking a little sooner than normal for a Saturday night. He took a long swig from his beer, then set the bottle down on the table, scooting closer to the older man. Changbin didn’t notice, still leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. Jisung crawled his fingertips up Changbin’s thigh, causing the upperclassman to involuntarily flex for a moment, his head twitching to the side but unable to break his gaze away from his match.

Jisung’s fingers kept creeping closer and closer to the inside of Changbin’s thighs, which parted further and further away with each little movement. After Jisung’s fingers landed over the stretched fabric above Changbin’s pelvis, the older man lifted his arm and leaned back a bit. He nodded once, silently granting Jisung permission to continue. The younger man bit his lip in excitement as he slipped down to the floor on his knees.

There were a lot of nice, strange little oddities about their relationship that Jisung loved. About a year ago, when things started to shift from stupid drinking dares to more sexually explicit dares, Changbin had drunkenly dared Jisung to suck him off while he was on voice chat, gaming with Chan and a couple of his friends. “Don’t look away from my face,” he had demanded with a bit of an ironic quiver to his voice. “I wanna look down and see you staring up at me.”

“That sounds like fun,” Jisung giggled as he accepted the dare. “You sure you can stay quiet enough for your friend to not notice, though?”

Changbin flushed, looking away from Jisung as he gritted his teeth. “You don’t hear me in my room late at night; Chan won’t hear anything. Besides,” he rolled his eyes and sighed, “Chan’s heard me get off over voice before, and he doesn’t care; actually probably finds it hot, knowing him. Wouldn’t shock him, really.”

It still wouldn’t shock him a year later, but now he’d give Changbin shit for roping his roommate into it, instead of just handling it himself. None of their friends knew that they were more than roommates, but Jisung’s friend Felix had suspected something was happening when Jisung agreed to be roommates with Changbin again for his junior year of university. Likewise, Chan had made some choice quips about how Changbin should have moved out and gotten a real apartment, not an apartment-style dorm that was ultimately owned by the university.

For this odd dynamic, some things were worth sacrificing.

Jisung worked in a calculated fashion as he offered small licks and nibbles up and down Changbin’s cock. The main objective wasn’t to get him off, just riled up enough to cause a bit of tension. Changbin slowly started to become more and more disheveled the longer Jisung teased him, the final nail in the coffin was when Jisung kept tonguing at his frenulum with progressively lighter and lighter licks.

“I’m done, man,” Changbin growled into his mic, grabbing Jisung by the hair and roughly pulling him back. There was a pause as they stared at each other, the younger man smiling and showing off his teeth with a wide, proud grin. “It’ll be fine, dude,” Changbin continued with a hint of a whine, pressing a couple of buttons on his controller. “We can deal with it tomorrow. I’ve got more important things to deal with.” The older man motioned for Jisung to get up and rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Chan. You’re just jealous. Night.”

Changbin practically tossed the controller across the room after he turned his system off. “You’re trouble, distracting me like that when you knew it was a big weekend for Chan and me,” he tsked, standing up and tucking his dick back into his shorts. “I hope you’re ready for a hell of a dare.” He padded off to the kitchen and Jisung smacked his hands against the coffee table to a loose rhythm.

“I’ll take whatever you throw at me,” the blond smirked. “Favourite part about the weekend.”

The elder shook his head. “You’re not going to think that after tonight.”

Jisung watched Changbin rifle through the cupboards of the kitchen and he tucked his head into his hands. “Come on,” he drawled out with a whine, “all of the stuff you’ve dared me to do has been mild and pretty boring so far. Unless you’re gonna have me walk around naked, blindfolded, and in high heels with nipple clamps down the hallway, I don’t think you can really shock me at this point.”

Changbin paused. The mental image of Jisung’s words must have danced around in his thoughts, because he was frozen for at least half of a minute, letting out a stifled shudder as he turned around. “Not quite that, but it won’t be mild, to say the least.”

“So get on with it. What’s the dare you’ve got in store, Binbin?”

“The first part is simple,” Changbin smirked and leaned back up against the counter, folding his arms. “Let me suck you off.”

Jisung’s eyes lit up, and Changbin already knew this was going to end up poorly. “Hell yeah!” The blond shimmied his shoulders and nodded his head. “I’m already down for whatever you’ve got in store.”

A simple shake of the head is all that Changbin offered in response. He untucked his right hand, showing off a tiny vial with a small, viscous liquid inside of it. “You didn’t even hear the whole dare.”

“When have I ever said no to your dares?” Jisung had a point: a year of dares every Saturday, and he never once declined. It was stupid, though, because he never heard the entire thing through. Changbin would bait him with a good idea, then throw in the crazy idea afterwards. It had always worked out, but tonight’s dare could easily go sour very quickly.

“This isn’t like the others,” Changbin’s smile faded and he shook the bottle between his fingertips. “I know you get really eager over these dares, but this one is gonna hurt. It’s high time you learned to stop being so overzealous, Sungie.”

Jisung scoffed and rolled his eyes, slapping his hands down on the table. “Whatever, whatever, man. What’s the last half of the dare?”

Changbin gritted his teeth and pulled his lips into a straight line. “This isn’t something you can really say ‘no’ to after you actually ingest it.”

“Drugs?”

“I mean, technically? It’s a chemical.”

A confused frown grew on Jisung’s face. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“You wonder why I’ve been ordering spicy takeout all week?” He sets the vial down behind him and tucks his hands into the pockets of his shorts. Jisung shrugs his shoulders and makes a noncommittal grunt in response. “I’ve been gauging your tolerance level to see if you could handle an intense dare.”

Jisung rolled his eyes again. “Spice challenges are boring, dude,” he pouted as he looked at Changbin. “We killed that one at Roma’s last week—”

“Twelve million scoville units.” Changbin cuts off the excited junior. Jisung quickly loses the arrogance in his demeanour and sinks into himself a bit as his eyes grow wide. “Yeah, I thought so. Don’t worry, it’d only be two drops from this vial. You consume two drops of this hellfire oil, and I’ll distract you by sucking you off. Still interested?”

There’s a long, uncomfortable pause that hangs in the air as Jisung weighs his options.

Changbin curses something unintelligible under his breath. “I’ve got other, less potent ideas,” he offers, biting his lip as he watches Jisung think.

“Sure, I’ll still do it,” the younger man says with a shrug, like it didn’t really matter to him at all.

“Sungie,” Changbin brings his knuckles to his forehead, shaking his head as he sighs with disappointment, yet still smirks to himself. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

Jisung stared at the plate in front of him, with two neon red spicy cheetos set in the middle, one on top of the other. It almost looked like a photo he had seen in one of his art history books, so captivating by its simplicity. He had eaten these MSG-laden salt bombs several times. Adding a couple drops of oil infused with the epitome of lava would be fine, right? Temporary discomfort. Temporary.

“Sungie,” Changbin grabbed Jisung’s shoulder, softly shaking him. “Did you hear what I just said?”

The blond shook his head. “Sorry, got distracted.”

“This is a really stupid idea,” the older man sighed, “like, I really don’t think we should do this.”

Jisung knitted his brows together and scoffed. “I’m not turning this down. We’re doing this, dude.”

There was an irritated groan that came from Changbin as he gritted his teeth and tucked his head into his hand. He stared at Jisung and frowned. “I’m going to regret challenging you to do this more than you’re going to regret accepting this dare, I just know it.”

“That’s on you,” the younger man arrogantly quipped, running a hand through his hair with fake confidence. He grabbed the bottle of beer that was next to the small plate and chugged the last of it, slamming it down on to the table. “Anything to get you to get me off.”

“You know, you can just ask me.”

“Yeah, but dude, where’s the fun in that? That’s so… domestic, like actual couples do that.” Jisung rolled his eyes and smirked. “Anyway, let’s get this over with. Hey, we could film it and go viral or some shit, too, that could be fun.” Changbin deadpanned and scowled, causing Jisung to wave a hand nervously. “It was a joke, man.”

The older man shook his head and grabbed the tiny glass vial, staring into the oil as it lazily sank down the sides of the bottle. He continued to scowl, squeezing the dropper and unscrewing the lid from the glass. “You don’t have to do this,” he repeated, yet still brought the dropper over the red snacks.

“Shut up,” Jisung folded his arms and sighed. “If you really didn’t want to do this, you wouldn’t be going through with it. Just admit you wanna watch me sweat and cry and suffer and call it a day. You’re such a sadist.”

A flush crept up on Changbin’s face. He said nothing, just shook his head and dropped a single, quick drop of oil on each nuclear red corn puff. As he hovered his hand over the plate, Changbin nervously looked up at Jisung and opened his mouth to say something.

“Nope,” Jisung grumbled, shaking his head. “I’m not backing out of this, so don’t say anything.”

The older man rolled his eyes, then screwed the cap back on to the vial. “Fine,” he muttered, standing up and making his way into the kitchen. “Then I’ll just tell you that, again, you’re an idiot for accepting this.”

“You’re an idiot for suggesting this!” Jisung shouted and let his jaw hang agape for a moment, hands thrown up in the air in disbelief.

Changbin spun around on his heel and pointed a finger in Jisung’s direction. “You need to stop accepting dumb things without hearing the whole thing first!”

Jisung pouted and dropped his hands, recoiling a bit. “I only accept these things from you because I trust you, Binbin.”

The way Jisung’s voice went from an irritated shout to a soft whine caused Changbin to visibly wince. “Sungie,” he started, bringing his palm to his face with a heavy sigh. “That was harsh of me, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, I guess,” the blond mumbled. “Just grab the stupid milk and get back over here. The whole point of this was so you’d suck my dick and distract me anyways.”

Changbin did as requested, but the air in the room was different now. He set the carton of milk down on the table and tugged his tank top down, playing with the hem of his shirt as he sat down on the couch. “You gonna be okay?”

Jisung took in a deep breath, looking away from the plate in front of him, turning his head to look at Changbin. They stared at each other for a moment, and then nervousness behind the blond’s eyes faded as he arrogantly smirked. “I’ll feel a lot better once you’re between my legs and doing your best to distract me.”

The older man couldn’t help but deadpan again, rubbing his temples with his middle finger and thumb. “You’re something else, Jisung,” he grumbled.

“Yeah, but you like that about me.”

“It’s true,” Changbin shrugged, dropping his hand to his lap. “You ready?”

Jisung turned to look at the plate and he nodded once. “This is a dumb idea, but fuck it.” He reached his hand out to the hellish crisps, fingers twitching a bit as he grabbed both of them off of the plate. He turned to look at Changbin, whose eyes were wide as he swallowed with anticipation.

“You sure about this?”

“Shut up, Changbin.” Jisung rolled his eyes, then shakily put the food into his mouth.

He chewed for a couple of seconds, nothing really happening. Maybe the oil that Changbin got from his friend Hyunjin was a dud. Then, he swallowed and everything started to fall apart. Rapidly.

Jisung’s eyes went wide as he coughed and shook his head a second later. “Oh my god!” He panicked, hands flailing and fanning his head as his face reddened. “Jesus fucking Christ, that’s—” he choked on his own saliva, coughing up a fit. Changbin’s face contorted in reactionary terror, reaching out to the carton of milk, offering it to Jisung as the younger man shook.

“This was a horrible idea, why the fuck did you go along with this?”

Jisung ignored Changbin’s comment, practically drowning himself in milk as he choked down the liquid, trying to swallow it and breathe at the same time. “Hot,” garbled up from his throat, some of the white liquid sputtered up into the air as he spoke, some dribbling down his chin. “Changbin,” Jisung whined, his eyes teary, glistening as much as his face was as it started to sweat, some visibly beaded up on his forehead. “Distract me,” he managed to pant out between gasps, wiping his face off with one hand and motioning towards his lap with the other.

“You’re a madman,” Changbin licked his lips, biting at the inside of his cheek as he watched Jisung unravel into a sweaty, teary mess. If Jisung could focus on anything other than the stinging, stabbing pain in his mouth, he would have noticed that Changbin was enjoying this a bit too much. Instead, he wanted to rip his tongue out of his mouth and forget he ever existed.

He decided, right then and there, that he was never going to take on a dare like this again.

Changbin stumbled to the floor, too busy watching Jisung writhe and sweat to pay close attention to undoing the button and zipper to the younger man’s jeans. The blond leaned back into the couch, chest rapidly rising and falling as he panted and whined, letting out strings of profanity as he suffered. Sweat, tears, and saliva dripped down his face, making Jisung’s face shimmer in the bluish white light of their dorm.

“For fuck’s sake,” Jisung loudly whined, shakily reaching a hand up Changbin’s head, curling his clammy fingers in his hair, “distract me, come on.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Changbin apologized, tilting his head down to focus on getting Jisung’s cock to spring free from the confines of his jeans and boxers. Surprisingly, it was already half-hard, causing Changbin to lift one of his eyebrows and offer a quip. “Excited over this, huh?”

Jisung groaned, rolling his head back and pushing Changbin’s head down. “Not distracting me,” a long, drawn out whine interrupted his sentence, “like you promised.”

Changbin chose not to say anything, instead he dug his elbows into the couch as he worked Jisung’s cock into his mouth. He gently pressed the tip of his tongue against the base, eliciting a small squeal from the younger man, who twitched and whimpered in response.

“More, please.” Jisung rolled his shoulder blades up against the back of the couch, furrowing his brows and wiping his forehead haphazardly with his free hand. “Wanna fuck your mouth, wanna come all over that pretty face of yours.”

The older man curled his lips in a devious smile. “I just said I’d suck you off,” he pulled back a bit, looking up at Jisung with a bit of snark, “not that I’d get you off.” Changbin flashed his teeth with an evil grin, until Jisung lifted his head and wildly stared down at him.

“If I didn’t feel like my face was about to fucking melt off,” Jisung hissed through his teeth, trying to stay relatively composed, “I swear to god I—” Changbin firmly gripped the base of Jisung’s cock and wrapped his lips around the head, sucking at it hard enough to cause the blond to stutter over his words. “Distracted, yeah,” he weakly moaned out, letting his head lull back.

There was an audible pop as Changbin pulled his lips off of Jisung’s head. “Distraction and sucking your dick was what the deal was.” He continued to grin, letting his hand continue to work Jisung’s shaft as he watched the younger man’s face contort in reaction. “Maybe once everything’s settled and you stop crying over a little pain, I’ll give you what you really want.”

Tears continued to stream down Jisung’s face no matter how much he tried to mop them up with the back of his hands. There was a fair amount of runny mucous dripping from his nose, too, rendering him into a sloppy, sticky mess.

Admittedly, it was a bit gross, but Changbin found it more disturbing that seeing his junior fall apart made him painfully hard. The way his tears shined on his pink cheeks, the way he whimpered and mewled in discomfort, all of it was strangely arousing to him. “Maybe we should shower first,” Changbin laughed to himself as he moved back down and wrapped his lips around Jisung’s cock.

“Maybe you should,” Jisung panted heavily, looking down to the older man, gasping as he spoke, “should go fuck yourself.”

Changbin looked up at the underclassman and flipped him off with a free hand. He hummed a laugh, the vibrations causing Jisung’s eyes to cross. The younger man threw his head back and rolled his hips up into Changbin’s face, causing the upperclassman to choke a bit, not expecting to feel Jisung’s cock hit the back of his throat.

Jisung pulled his shirt up and off as Changbin continued to bob his head up and down, circling his tongue around the length in his mouth. “Fuck,” the younger man whimpered, hastily wiping his face with his shirt as if it were a kitchen towel. He continued to let out a few strangled curses as he ran a hand through his hair.

Changbin offered a few more tongue flicks against Jisung’s cock before pulling away and standing up. “Come on,” he offered a hand to the perplexed man on the couch, “as much as I’m loving this, I really just wanna get fucked by you.”

After some extensive handwashing and some half-assed showering, Changbin found himself bent in half over his bed, with two of Jisung’s fingers inside of him. “I should just fucking edge you,” the younger man quipped with a smirk on his face, watching his elder twitch his fingers against the bedsheets, awkwardly scrambling for purchase.

“Please,” Changbin whined, “I gave you what you wanted, Sungie.”

“Yeah, you did.” Jisung slipped a third finger inside, biting his lip back as the upperclassman writhed and moaned underneath him. “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t wanna see you suffer a bit as payback.”

Changbin gritted his teeth, turning his head back a bit to stare up at Jisung. “Fuck you, I told you what you were getting into. Hell, I warned you several times.”

“You had your fun,” Jisung bent over and nipped at Changbin’s shoulder. The teeth sinking into his skin caused the older man to let out a bit of a moan. “My turn, now.” He curled his fingers down, causing Changbin to drop further, letting his head collide against the mattress as he mumbled incoherently in approval.

“Yeah, I like that. You should keep your mouth shut more often, huh?” Jisung rocked his fingers back and forth a bit, then gradually started pumping them in and out of the man beneath him. “I bet you probably loved watching me cry out there, didn’t you?”

Changbin attempted to choke out an affirmation, but he was too lost in the feeling of how Jisung’s fingers moved inside of him to coherently respond.

“Figures,” Jisung tutted. “You’ve always been a weird one. I’m feeling impatient tonight, Binbin. While I’m annoyed you enjoyed making me cry, I’m tired of being hard.” He pulled his fingers out, then brought his hand to his cock, wiping some of the lube around it. Changbin opened his mouth to speak, but Jisung cut him off, slowly pushing his cock inside of the older man.

Instead of spouting off of a bold comment, Changbin lets out a throaty groan, gripping the sheets tighter. Jisung slowly pushes himself completely inside the upperclassman, a smirk growing on his face as he watches the man under him twitch. “You feel nice,” Jisung breathes out, moving his hands to both of Changbin’s hips, “you feel so nice. Want me to keep moving?”

Unable to form a coherent sentence, Changbin simply nods, and Jisung smiles. The younger man grips the hips in his hands tighter as he slowly moves in and out. The men exchange a myriad of lewd noises between them as they blend together.

“Jisung,” Changbin arched his back, tilting his head closer to the younger man. He didn’t have to respond for Jisung to know what he wanted.

The younger man shifted his hand from Changbin’s left hip up into his hair, running his fingers through the soft, damp, brown locks. It started off as a soft tug, then he quickly drew his hand into a fist and pulled back, eliciting a sharp cry from the older man.

This was Jisung’s favourite part of their interactions. Changbin liked to be pushed around a little bit after Jisung completed his dares. “Who’s gonna cry now, hmm?” He ruffled his senior’s hair around a bit, then tugged on it again as he thrusted in hard, stilling his movements. “Asked you a question, babe.”

“You can’t make me cry,” Changbin said, choking back tears. It was a bold-faced lie, they both knew that, but it fed into the moment.

“That a dare?” Jisung scoffed, then tugged at Changbin’s hair once more.

A whine escaped Changbin, eating away at his confidence. “Of course it’s a goddamned dare.”

“It’s always a dare.” As soon as Jisung finished speaking, he started roughly fucking into Changbin. The brunette tried to dip his head down and lose himself in the moment, but the blond held his head up by the hair gripped between his fingers. “I’m not gonna stop until I see you break, babe.”

“You’re gonna,” Changbin mumbled, “gonna have to try harder than that.” He tried to sound confident, but it was obviously false confidence. A few tears fell from his eyes, causing Jisung’s lips to curl upwards.

“Aww,” the underclassman mocked, “you’re doing a terrible job at faking it.”

Jisung let go of Changbin’s hair, letting the brunette’s head drop, then moved his newly-freed hand down to stroke he upperclassman’s cock. His stroking was a bit frantic, his thrusts becoming less and less controlled. “Want me to come on your back like always?” His voice cracked a couple of times as he kept moving.

Surprisingly, Changbin shook his head. “N-no,” he whined, “inside. Come inside me.”

“Really?” Jisung knitted his brows in confusion. That was something they had never done before, and the idea made his stomach flip. “If you’re being serious, I need to know, Bin.” He panted once before Changbin nodded his head.

“Just fucking come inside of me,” the brunette whined, “I’m so close and it’ll—”

Before Changbin could finish his statement, Jisung doubled over and let out a shuddering moan. He kept pumping the cock in his hand, but his movements were disjointed. Changbin shakily reached between his legs, wrapping his hand around Jisung’s, helping the younger man finish him off.

It took maybe two strokes before Changbin came on to his sheets. They would have to clean the sheets later, but that was fine. Hell, they could just sleep in Jisung’s bed, if they were really that out of it. Feeling the sticky, sweaty weight of Jisung atop him was worth it. They awkwardly laid there for a few moments, catching their breath.

“Hey, Jisung?”

“What is it, Bin?”

“No more fucking dares. At least,” Changbin sighed and rolled his eyes, “think them through before accepting them first, yeah?”

Jisung smiled, planting a kiss between Changbin’s shoulder blades. “I’ll consider it. No guarantees, though.”

“You just want me to keep fucking you after you complete a dare, don’t you?”

“Technically,” the younger man shrugged as he shakily rose to his knees, “I fucked you this time. But yeah, I want you to keep doing that. I wanna keep this up.”

“You’re so fucking dumb.” Changbin pushed himself up by his palms, his arms trembling a bit from all of the activity.

Jisung looked down at Changbin before pulling the older man back by the shoulders. “Yeah, but you like that about me.” Changbin opened his mouth to protest, but found his lips locked with the younger man. The energy between them as they kissed was different than their usual kisses. This was needier, more intimate and felt special compared to the others.

The older man broke away from the kiss first, for just a moment, looking down, then back up to make eye contact with the younger man. “I don’t want you to date anyone else.”

“What?” Jisung pulled back, blinking rapidly.

Changbin rolled his eyes, his expression softening. “You’re so dense, Sungie. We should be exclusive.”

Jisung shook his head. “No, no, I get that.” He smiled, awkwardly giggling at the same time. “I just never thought you’d be so cute about it.”

The brunette gritted his teeth and his expression fell into a scowl. “Don’t call me cute.”

“Fuck you,” Jisung laughed. “If you wanna actually date me, then get used to it.”

“You know what?” Changbin shifted his position a bit, letting Jisung’s cock fall out of him and cum drip down his legs as he turned. He grabbed the younger man by the shoulders and pinned him down to the bed. “Maybe I just will.”

They exchanged playful smirks with one another before they connected their lips together once more, kissing each other a bit more tenderly than they usually did.

“The boyfriend instead of the roommate,” Jisung quipped, bringing his hands up to Changbin’s face. “I like the sound of that.”

Changbin pushed a soft kiss to Jisung’s lips before pulling back with a smile. “Me too.”

#can't wait for you to shut me up #skz smut #skz fics #seo changbin x han jisung #han jisung x seo changbin #changbin x jisung #jisung x changbin #binsung #wherevermyway

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the-starset-system · 3 years ago

Note

Do you got any ideas for increasing communication? I really wanna talk to my system but it's so hard :(

I could just give you the common advice but you can find all of that with a quick Google search. Lemme give you some stuff that's personally helped us:

GET OUTTA mY RoOm IM PLAyiNG MINECRAF

Lmao I couldn't resist, but yee, Minecraft has actually helped us communicate more than anything. It gives everyone creative freedom and with mechanics like signs and books it's easy to leave notes within the game. The littles adore it too :D

I actually have a lot to say about playing as a system on Minecraft, so I might make a separate post if any of you want to hear. I'll probably be discussing how it helps and how to set all that stuff up, since figuring out how everything would work with inventory and stuff rattled our brain at first (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

Art!

Creating things is a great way to learn more about your system and maybe uncover trauma details in a more gentle fashion! We personally draw and write, but music, dance, videos, etc. all work!

It doesn't even have to be about your system, it could be feelings or thoughts. Just something to pick your brain, to learn more about yourself since it's easy to fall down a pit when you don't know who you are, let alone your system.

That's one of the most important things in my opinion, having a grounded sense of self before really jumping into everything. When we jumped in not really knowing who we are ourselves it was hard to understand one another and I do believe that carelessness still affects us to this day, so just try to understand your own self as well

Don't laugh, but dress up games

Yeah yeah I know the kinda reputation some of them hold, but when we first discovered we were a system and started trying to work together that was the first thing we done. We knew we didn't identify with this body, but at the same time a majority of us were particularly unsure of what we did look like. Having little avatars to dress up was so helpful cause we would ask ourselves "does this feature have any significance?" or "Why am I attached to this certain feature?". Slowly after sifting through different options we could say "that's me". It was really reassuring and helped us recognize each other. It even helped with figuring out who was fronting because someone would feel unsettled about a certain feature being missing.

We still use little apps sometimes for fun or if someone new split / came out of dormancy :]

Making time

This is gonna sound silly, but think of communicating with your system the same way you would in a relationship. This is something you're likely gonna be dealing with for a good while so it's good to have close bonds with everyone. Bonds are the key to communicating cause I mean, would you wanna talk to someone you dislike?? If you're having trouble with system conflict I'd recommend checking out my other post I made about it.

But where does making time come into this? Aha sorry I actually got off topic but I feel like it's important regardless so I ain't erasing it-

What I mean by making time is well, making time. It's harder to communicate when there's so much going on around you cause you'll get distracted. What we do is set out however much free time we have that day to bundle up in our room and pretend we're sleeping, when in reality the low amount of sensory stimuli makes it easy to focus on talking to everyone. This doesn't always goes as planned, sometimes we just have bad days and can't communicate. If that's the case we'll keep trying for a few minutes before going off to do something else.

That's one thing to always remember, everyone has bad day and that's okay!

So, those are some ideas, but I also wanted to go over some things you should avoid too, kinda like do's and dont's!

Forcing communication

There's often a reason someone in the system avoids communicating, as well as a reason you may not be able to communicate with anyone. At the end of the day you gotta remember this was formed out of survival, needing to not be able to communicate, to forget, in order to properly function.

If things aren't helping then maybe give it some time, you might just not be at a good point in your life right now and your brain knows, saying "hey, we still don't feel too good, I wanna be prepared for any other tough situations we might go through" and that's okay. The mass media loves to portray ppl with DID having flawless communication and that's just not the truth. People understand it's a hard battle and I can assure you many in the community have your back :]

Fake claiming

-One of my worst habits, it's easy to say "no that's not real". Sometimes it might not be but I know from my own mistakes that more than likely it is. It can hurt a lot of system members, making them feel like their voice doesn't matter or even make them go on a spiral if they really are real.

I don't really have much more to say, it's pretty self explanatory. Just keep an open mind

You don't have to be differentiated

Another thing we're all guilty of, we thought we had to all act super different to be valid. Spoiler alert: you're valid no matter what

Once again, I feel like it's pretty self explanatory, but forcing yourself to be different from x, y, and z person sucks cause you never get to be yourself. You don't need to be differentiated, your perfect the way you are, regardless of who may share those same traits

That's all I can think of right now, but knowing me I'll come up with a million more things after I post this

I did come up with a really good explanation of what building communication is like though and I wanted to share:

Think of it as leveling up in a video game. All these tasks may seem useless but slowly your collecting XP and getting closer to your goal. That's why you gotta keep at it!

So, keep going on those seemingly useless quests and fighting that boss monster no matter how many times you get thrown to the ground, cause every last bit is worth it (｡•̀��-)✧

I hope this helps! Sorry if I got a bit off topic! I have a habit of that (• ▽ •;) I was writing on and off so things may be a bit choppy. Aaaa sorryyyy but thank you for the askkkk! And remember, I am not a professional and my words should not replace / overwrite seeking professional help if possible! Regardless, I hope you have a good week! 💫

#roar.exe #👾#ask response #advice #long post

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deathghost8 · 4 years ago

Text

Harm reduction script essay compiled

1- “TLDR” (I wrote the book that will save the world)

2- ancap math 101 : Purchasers and fulfillers

3- #MATH politics : Harm reduction education platform overview

1 Innovation: Viable Tech in a social organism)

(I wrote the book on saving this social organism, it is 3 pages long.)

Pages 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣

1️⃣ • Social order is a circle. []

our agreement of what is valued is : that which flows back into the organism, if it does not, we cannot place value on it -

Look, What goes out is our waste: Poop. 💩What flows in and circulates is our life blood. ⭕️

any attempted systematized defiance of the circle constitutes a tumor or a heart attack. Some type of unholy disease which kills the organism. In today’s tech feudalism that’s called Net Worth, or influencers. 🤑

Technologically civilized would mean that the emergent wealth of the organism flows from the top end of total aggregate productivity (value generated) back to the beginning in an automatic credit type of way, such that no individual beneficiary is raised above others, and no individual sponsor or authority point is held responsible or given control of this flow. This would be the invention of decentralized money, the Viable Tech connecting all other viable tech to all beneficiaries, effectively employing the meaning of innovation to reduce or totally eliminate labor/overhead / cost to human wellbeing and the enjoyment of wealth produced by the organism as a whole.

2️⃣ • Ya cannot govern by Ruling, ya Dingus!! []

Automating the purchase of the basic minimum in food and wellbeing commerce on behalf of the entire population is the means by which tech feudalism converts into technologically civilized, because the only authority that doesn’t kill the organism is that of the combined emergence of the V O L U N T A R Y spending decisions of all the sovereign individuals.

(For yer health!!)

~Purchase on behalf of~

Is the bridge tech to the full decentralization system, because you need to retain the aspect of voluntary purchasing by individuals, who then select and continue to sustain the winners in the innovation contest whose offering is widely adopted because it’s the most optimal and wins at reducing cost and overhead.

Thus, we see that it is pure ancap : a means of total divorce from the harmful entanglement of authority and status attainment institutions like government and corporation - a simple payment to every citizen to purchase their wellbeing voluntarily, sponsoring the winners in that contest via the auto refilling minimum income credit app (like bill pulte sending everyone 1337$ every month on their cash app).

3️⃣ •We held these truths to be self evident - The income floor is like tokens to vote via purchase, but simultaneously a gesture of wellbeing toward all those who have been harmed by state tyranny, domestic violence , corporate rigging (monopsony, gouging, monopoly, theft, etc) or any kind of oppression - Of course, As any good democracy Which eliminates poverty and guarantees life liberty and the pursuit of happiness should do.

The actions of a truly free populace will then fund whatever else can or should exist in such a free society, because healthy humans who aren’t exhausted , depleted , and diseased are creative and industrious. Here you have a next generation society that invents itself. It starts with the decentralization of money so that democracy begins to flow in the commerce itself.

22 - technological civility

🔄 Inclusion pricing / inclusion model -

Let me mathematically discuss The next human innovation equation

First of all, social order definitions.

We are calculating social order where we have eliminated boss tyranny and installed voluntary transacting as the basic motion.

(The lack of doing so is how economy runs now, full of tyranny and abuse, and distraction politics with illusory division. )

Doing so will Philanthropize value between

Purchaser & Fulfiller.

- the worker and the beneficiary of work both need to capture most, ( ifnot 100% ) of the value within that TRANSACTION

Fulfillers provides any needed function or item to the social organism.

Purchasers are the VOTE PLACERS.

|| Anything that harms or suppresses the social organism can not qualify under the fulfiller. It has to be actual value.

This is democracy of nature - the organism’s emergent intelligence describes:

✨ what is positively valued:

* either vital or desired,

* Or just an optional luxury

💩 What is value minus:

* either simply inefficient (ie obsolete or archaic)

* OR worthless, harmful, or toxic

Inclusion model is the basic exertion of educational value - the human GAin of wellness and growth, taking place of itself, voluntary.

(Educational value is what is expressed by the basic principle about zen:

calm wellbeing in the present now, uninfringed by illusion or coercion.)

Instead of not allowing non paying users to come in, you use advertising and other mechanisms which sponsor them, to avoid excluding.

That is what the Viable Tech of decentralized money can and will do. Enable the democracy of nature by the principle of wu wei.

↘️⭕️↘️ Meta conclusion / sharp rectangle punchline

the wealthy innovators or influencers that currently hold Potential energy are responsible for continuously accumulating opportunity cost - if they were to view the emergent intelligence of the social organism somehow, with leader vision, they would circulate the **necessary amount** to fund work at the the bottom, by sponsoring purchasers to create the work for fulfillers.

Emergence is the technological democracy replacement for a representative system that was made obsolete when communication faster than the horse carried letter - instant electronic messaging - came forth.

333

[][][] So Then,

Now [][][]

(Interlude - there is another joker - sets up the monastery value)

() The monastery idea flows into and within the harm reduction platform and is a necessary piece of monk education as a structure of my mind, my deepest heart.

Monastery is Harm Reduction because if money were no object I would open them everywhere and hire other monks to run it with me

() the real purpose is to offer a place that is not tied down by commercial / profitability burden, nor public funding approval.

There was a time that Kanye tried to start a shoes gifting program, but what he should have done was open monasteries, the maximum adequacy 3rd place.

I want to create the space for Leaving this social contract as the main function of my business. 🚪🃏 My business is people’s wellbeing.

👁‍🗨The joker sees through all pairs of eyes - but there is another joker. The warrior

[image transition here:

there is another joker

🚪👁‍🗨🃏

the warrior is the joker

The joker is the tank

The tank is the monk

The monk is at the top

Battling

[image transition back]

He battles every boss, taking Aggro and defending the young and the vulnerable, leading the group, so that the newer ones may learn and get xp

And this monastery is the warrior’s house of gathering.

The base.

What school actually means. The warrior’s house.

STANLEY [the LOVE SAMURAI]

lives there.

In regular reality the Love samurai is a joke in the Raphael level

Of Stanley parable.

In my game, the love samurai is the joker. He is me.

Education monk.

Monastery is the warrior’s house, the place where no nazi infringement is allowed to take away our wellbeing or our free will.

Harm reduction is critical, vital, and sharply precise with intent.

It is abstract, but unambiguous comprised of a few separate but inseparable policy values.

first understand the Nucleus values :

* wellbeing / healing

* curiosity / sovereignty

1️⃣ Decriminalization - remove policing against medicinal and educational action / tools. This item resonates by the recent cultural movements to decriminalize federal cannabis and psychedelics, (plus all types of sex work and human interaction for the purpose of wellbeing) and most recently the public outcry to defund policing.

This item is an essential modification to the social contract. We need to be allowed to grow up, and make decisions; with no one standing over the shoulder saying we are wrong. That cannot be tolerated anymore. It’s just too much. It’s too violent. It’s too oppressive. We’re done with it.

2️⃣ decentralization. FUND wellbeing directly

To children and their guardians as valued individually-owned Work. This is an income floor policy. Its true meaning is that there can be no outside boss who could fire you or in any other way withhold the funding.

Because- they aren’t the stake holder. You are, on behalf - your kids are.

We will have decentralized this by letting it be funded at the very bottom of social order, at the purchase level, recognizing that the best purchase will always be made by the individual.

With democracy, That is the liberty we believe in. It’s time we started acting like it.

3️⃣ infrastructural - 3rd places that kids may be kids and Peace is the purpose. All are invited. It is not for sale. Very very simple, common sense for the type of spaces we want to have in a CIVILIZED social order.

I’m Not saying don’t have a public building that is the school. I’m saying don’t have it be an authoritarian Hell , a part time jail with bosses and grading, and de-individualization.

So To have it at all, you need to make it both voluntary and useful. So that children and families may use the resources in support of their kids’ curiosity.

Real TLDR distilled conclusion:

My task as monk educator:

UNPLUG us

from Use of Force Matrix

which demands we emulate coercion

And then PLUG us back In Again

But into the Celebration and Sharing Matrix this time.

Disconnection is the illness -

- Use of Force is the illness

Contact is the medicine []

[] Sharing is the medicine

⭕️

How to contact ?

Celebration

How to Share?

Crafting

🔛

👁‍🗨

Wellbeing (means of doing: healing)

Sovereignty (means of doing: curiosity / question pathing [quests] )

#monk #zen #education #alan watts #ubi #math #ancap #mystic #satori #warrior #the joker #fool #adventure #tao

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sebthesnipe · 5 years ago

Text

The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagain an Analysis? Chapter 2! Part 1

All portions:

Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

The Dreamer

@whatwashernameagain

Guys! We finally made it to Chapter 2!!!! Prepare for the feelz!

As always, Spoilers under cut.

So… Lets recap what we know about Roman before we dig too deep into Chapter 2… We know that Roman is overzealous, hopeful to the point of naivety, innocent, sassy, playful/teasing, endearing, misguided and moral. He sees the good in everyone (especially Logan). Roman cares for each person individually, while Logan cares more for humanity as a whole. Lastly, Roman is pretty much the embodiment of hope for Logan and maybe the world. No pressure.

Okay… That’s pretty much what we know about Roman’s personality thus far… and he’s only been mentioned a few times… Not bad, not bad. Let’s get to it!

Eva wastes no time jumping right into Roman’s back story, though I’ll admit the first time I read this it gave me a bit of whiplash. We did just come out of a very dramatic scene, after all. Still as usual there is a lot to be said in the first para. First off, drawing the reader in within the first few lines is always a great idea and she manages it with; “Young Roman was shaking with righteous anger. How dare this – this fiend targeted the company of his father?” (Whatwashernameagain). This should send us into a whirlwind of emotions. We learn a lot about Roman and Roman’s father with these two sentences. First off, we see that Roman is very quick with his emotions which is not surprising at all, judging from what we have learned about him. However, when he uses the word ‘fiend’ in italics the inflection nods towards his overzealous nature which honestly warms my heart a bit. Once again, Eva is very strategic with her italics and beautifully so. We can assume that this ‘fiend’ is none other than one ‘Utilitarianist’ judging from the context of the previous chapter and the rivalry that we are already familiar with. But this begs the question: Why would Logan target Roman’s father unless he is a bad man? Well, I’d say the answer is in the question… But Roman obviously doesn’t believe that.

“He was the hardest working man in the world! His idol, his hero! He was donating to charity, pursuing a career in politics to support the attempts of the republican party to protect this great country’s safety and now he had to deal with an investigation into the state of his breeding facilities” (Whatwashernameagain).

This makes me… so sad. Roman obviously idolizes his father. He is a young man here, years before The Dreamer and it certainly shows in his naivety and innocence. As children many of us are fed information that our parents wish for us to believe or are simply told in order to stop us from questioning this or that. Some parents do this consciously while most don’t even think about it. It’s like when your parent tells you that its illegal to drive at night with the cab light on… I don’t know if this is going to shock you but its not illegal. At least not here. But their parents no doubt told them that when they were younger to keep them from messing with the light and distracting them; then they grew up believing it and now they tell their children the same thing. Or my mother use to tell me that her first husband died in a car accident because she didn’t want me to know she was divorced… Turns out he lives in Cali with a wife and three kids… but questioning her about him hurt her so she made up a lie to protect herself and me. Its not surprising that poor innocent Roman would be fed similar lies to help idolize his father.

The thing is… there comes a point in time in every adult’s life that they look at their parent and reality hits them so hard in the face they stumble. The person you thought your mom or dad was isn’t exactly who they are. For example, I idolized my own father and I of course still love him very very much; but growing up I thought he had the answer to everything and was an outstanding person. He had very few flaws (mostly just promiscuity)… Then about the time I turned twenty-four I watched as he went into a rage about abortions and how pro-choicers are idiots when most of them are pro-life but ‘just want attention’. It took me by surprise and when I showed him the statistics that the majority of ‘pro-life’ and ‘pro-choice’ both agreed that there should be exceptions to most abortion issues (“Abortion”). He chose to deny the fact and continued to hate the opposite party simply because they labeled themselves something other than what he labeled himself, despite believing in the same concepts…. I’m getting way off topic… Sorry… I realized in that moment that the man I idolized was an ignorant man who was content with his choice in being ignorant. It was a shock… The image of him I had painted my whole life came crashing down. It was alright of course, we just don’t talk about politics anymore… well… not often anyways. My point is… I’m curious to see when Roman has the same realization that his father is not the man Roman expects him to be… Truth be told; our parents can never live up to their children’s expectations. We set the bar too high and they are only human, doing the best they can… The good ones anyways XP

Again! Getting off topic! Sorry! Back to the analysis….

Roman sees his father as everything he strives to be. His father is a hard worker, who gives to the needy, is charismatic (a politician), a protector. No doubt, Roman was conditioned to see these things; conditioned to believe that this is what a ‘real’ man looks like. A conditioning that most of us have experienced. Girls that don’t dress pretty enough, or don’t like the color pink, or rather play with a football than a barbie; or boys who love pink, enjoy makeup, don’t enjoy sports… I can’t tell you enough how much crap my husband gets because he rather read a book than play football, especially when he was in school (he’s 6’4” and almost 400lbs). Its wrong!!! Here Roman’s father stands, the picture-perfect image of everything Roman is expected to be… of course he’s going to fixate on the good, rather than accepting the bad. Looks like Logan isn’t the only one in denial.

This denial is cemented when Roman begins to talk about the ‘caramel colored Highland cow’ that his father had given him when he was twelve. Roman uses this as an example of how his father cares so deeply for animals…. -sigh- My poor baby… All of this is an indication of unconscious rationalization. Yup, you guessed it I’m jumping back into psychoanalysis and Freud. YAY! Rationalization is when an individual avoids feelings of displeasure by explaining their own loses and failures as someone else’s fault (Rivkin, Julie). In this case, Roman isn’t even aware that he is doing it; hence the denial. Instead of subconsciously accepting the fact that these investigations could be in the right he chooses to blame the investigation of victim blaming…. Well, the investigations and The Utilitarianist.

Though Roman’s us of terms such as ‘hard-working Americans,’ ‘terrorist’ and ‘gross injustice’ in the next few paragraphs really boldens the image that Roman eventually grows into; the one we saw in Chapter 1. As if Roman should be wearing the stars and stripes on his cape, flapping in the wind behind him. A whole-hearted apple pie American! These terms are a direct parallel to a lot of the Republican campaigns throughout the last few years. Terms like this tend to be used to sew discontent and fear into people, making them easily controllable. Honestly, it’s a great symbolism on how America’s masses are being persuaded to follow the path of anger and certain politicians that I will not name. Roman, here is the picture-perfect representation of America, his father a Republican extremist (like many politicians lately) who has fed him so many lies and promises… provided pretty things to satisfy him temporary and allow him to do as he pleases without any consequence to himself. Sound familiar?

**Personal note: I have nothing against the Republican party. I agree with the platform on a few issues as well as with the Democratic platform. However, anything to its extreme is a bad thing. Thank you for coming to my Tedtalk.

“Roman could not stand for this! It was gross injustice! He wanted to help, to support his father and show him that he could trust him! He was almost twenty now – a man – and it was time he finally managed to prove himself!” (Whatwashernameagain).

Within the same paragraph we see Roman’s need to win his father’s approval. We also see the societal gender norm of being ‘a man’ once more. There is a lot to unpack here. Roman wants to show his father that he can ‘trust him.’ Which wouldn’t be something a normal person would be concerned about unless there was a sense of past abuse; which judging by the rationalization is no doubt the case. This implies that Roman has always been informed that he’s not good enough, or that he is incompetent. This small sentence shows us a side of Roman that we have yet to see… his insecurity. Sure, as The Dreamer he hides it well… He must, he’s the hope and dreams of the world, he can’t afford insecurities. But deep down he is just a child wanting his father’s approval. He wants to be needed, needs to be accepted. He wants to prove to this man that he’s not worthless… Hmm… Kinda sounds like a certain villain we know doesn’t it? Actually, Logan and Roman have a lot more in common here than meets the eye. Imagine what Roman feels here… The desperation, the loneliness. Perhaps he feels as if there is no one else in the world that could possibly understand how he feels. He is no doubt surrounded by staff but when it comes down to it, he is just as alone as Logan is. Both using their pain to change the world; both defining themselves by the work that they do… by their usefulness. Once again, Roman focusing on the individual (his father) while Logan focuses on the masses. He and Logan share the same goal, the same hurtles, and the same pain… and yet somehow ended up on opposite sides of the coin…

We see more of Roman’s insecurities in the next paragraph, underlining the emotion; proving to the reader that it runs far deeper than we would first assume. He states that he tends to ‘ask the wrong question’ and makes ‘stupid suggestions’. However, the questions he asks are regarding the wages of the workers, and the suggestions involve the wellbeing of animals. The dimension this contrast provides really rounds out Roman’s character. As a reader we see that these questions are anything but wrong and the suggestions are far from stupid, but we are a mute onlooker that can do nothing to change the scene unfolding before us. These words paint Roman’s heart as much as his pain. We see his concern for his father’s employees and the animals as well. We see that he cares for every living being, bringing up back to the fact that he focuses on the individual, reinforcing this concept. At the same time, he doesn’t see it himself. I’ve learned early on in life that if you are told the same thing over and over in your life time by someone you look up to… you are bound to believe it and the best and worst thing about belief is that once you have it… its hard to let go.

“Shame rose into Roman’s cheeks as he remembered his silly question about fencing in a meadow for their calves in their Laredo facility to play in with their mothers. He’d just remembered how much Nugget had always enjoyed jumping around with them. Of course, he should have known they needed to be separated from their mothers after the first day to avoid losing the milk they sold. It was necessary, he guessed. So, they’d said” (Whatwashernameagain).

So, they’d said… -sigh- Three little words and yet… so much pain. I don’t really need to explain the whole being told something repeatedly etc etc etc. Because I just did; but the fact that Eva ends the paragraph so simply is so elegantly impactful… I just… wanted to bring attention to it.

It also serves to point out that despite the fact that Roman rationalizes his father’s mistreatments and dirty deeds, he has his doubts. “It was necessary, he guessed.” Implies that Roman doesn’t truly believe this despite what he’d been told (along with the ‘so they’d said’). It adds even more depth to the man because while we are looking at a young Roman with no self-confidence he knows right from wrong. At least, deep down he does. It is the environment around him that is forcing this sense of morality to be buried deep deep down to the point to he can hardly recognize it… but its there. This also makes for some great foreshadowing. The small rebellion of nothing but a seed of a thought will no doubt grow into more.

Tangent: People always talk about how changing your thoughts are a sure-fire way to change your life and it is true. In fact, there is scientific research to prove it. No, I’m not talking about some kind of poll or mental screening. It’s much bigger than that. Dr. Masaru Emoto, a Japanese scientist and doctor of alternative medicine, conducted an experiment to try and discover how our thoughts can physically affect the world around us (“Water”). He took samples of water and exposed them to written and spoken words and music to see how thoughts and feelings affect physical reality (“Water”). Dr. Masaru Emoto discovered that crystals formed in frozen water reveal changes when specific, concentrated thoughts are directed towards them such as ‘love’, ‘thank you’, ‘I hate you’ (“Water”). The findings were unbelievable especially when you consider the fact that 90% of our bodies are made of water. Water that changes in reaction to thoughts. The implications of this research create a new awareness of how we can positively impact the earth and our personal health (“Water”). Dr. Emoto has been called to lecture around the world as a result and has conducted live experiments both in Japan and Europe as well as in the US to show how indeed our thoughts, attitudes, and emotions as humans deeply impact the environment (“Water”). I learned this many years ago watching the documentary ‘What the Bleep Do We Know?’ which I highly recommend… But if you would like to watch the short clip on water molecules and thoughts you can find it here.

I bring it up because Roman’s rebellious thoughts have a far more drastic impact than he probably assumes. We shape ourselves to our thoughts… Which only intensifies the foreshadowing here.

Once again, in the next para we see Roman’s rationalization in full swing as he talks about his father having a difficult time with him. We also see the reinforcement of social norms when it comes to gender: ‘he lacked a sense of ruthlessness a strong man needed to improve the world’, ‘he was a bad hunter, had the wrong interests’, ‘spoke too softly or loudly’ (Whatwashernameagain). I’m not going to go into it too much because I’ve already touched on the ridiculousness of this… and because forcing social gender norms onto someone like this piss me off like no other and I’m not turning this into a big rant and pulling it away from Eva’s amazing work! I’ll just say that its wrong to assume what it means to be a man or a woman… why isn’t just being a person enough?! and leave it at that. We also see more of Roman’s idolization of his father; his need for approval and his distaste for Logan and his so-called victim-blaming (which is rationalization once more).

The sudden shift from such a somber tone to the next paragraph proves to be refreshing and provides Roman with a small burst of passion we know and love! Eva writes: “Roman had one thing going he was good at, though. He was strong, brave and determined. Someone needed to put a stop to this renegade liberal, and it might as well be him. It wasn’t like all the other things he’d tried and failed at. This time, he felt a calling to fight the war of the righteous” (Whatwashernameagain)!

This provides us with a small glimpse of The Dreamer we’ve come to know in Chapter 1. Roman may not have confidence in himself but the image of who he wants to be is another story. For those of you who don’t know I worked in Law Enforcement for six years and its things like this that remind me of some of the good parts of the job. Roman is relatable here to be. I’ve known a lot of officers who are very different outside of the uniform, myself included. We have insecurities, weaknesses, ticks, that all seem to fade away when we put on that uniform. You become a different person, a stronger person; someone you look up to… and looking up to yourself is an amazing feeling… its like your indestructible… you can do anything! Officer Liz and the Liz writing this analysis are two different people. Yes, we share the same experiences and likes and dislikes but… I’m just a regular person, staying up too late, worried about laundry and dishes… while she… she’s a hero who protects everyone, always has a solution, and never lets her emotions get the better of her. Roman is getting his first taste of the high that comes with the alter ego. He sees the Dreamer in that instance, though he refers to himself because in a way they are the same person… The difference is, is that The Dreamer has already won his father’s approval and pride… Roman has not.

*******

I will have to end it there, friends. It is way past my bed time, and I have to be up in a few hours for work. Thank you for joining me though and I hope to see you in Part 2!

“Abortion.” Gallup.com, Gallup, 10 Nov. 2019, https://news.gallup.com/poll/1576/abortion.aspx.

Rivkin, Julie. Literary Theory: a Practical Introduction. Wiley-Blackwell, 2017.

“Water.” What the Bleep Do We Know!?, https://whatthebleep.com/water-crystals/.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 2.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/189407228487/the-dreamer-chapter-2?is_related_post=1.

#The dreamer #villain!logan #hero!roman #sanders sides #logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #logan/roman #roman/logan #analysis #reaction #fanfiction #Whatwashernameagain

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elcall · 6 years ago

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Boykatsu Thoughts

I watched aikatsu friends 44 and had some thoughts about it... I’m late bc I haven’t had time this past week to do this ^^”

I didn’t like it actually. Here I analyze aikatsu’s handling with the boys.

Starting with Kagami though, I think his was the most okay. He had a reason to know the “other side of entertainment” as Ken put. His short arc of development was nice because he’s struggling to smile as he works, and honestly, it’s something that I’m struggling with too.

Kazune literally declines, gets distracted, then is kidnapped. His “scouting” scene is literally 34 seconds long. This scene just really made me mad and I can’t explain it... I don’t get why Tamaki is trying to scout a boy anyways lol.

With Maito, I like how he flat out said that he’s not an idol, but rather a boxer. It’s a good start for an idol, because other fandoms have seen sport characters turn into idols~ I’m glad how he’s able to defeat the Riffraffians too.

I really hate how Aine grabs Maito like that. I get it, MC has to take control when things get bad. But. No. Aine your scout is so bad. And then he turns red??? That made me so sick omg. I’m glad Maika stepped in but there seemed to be a jump in time where we skipped what Aine says? Unless she doesn’t say anything else and he just agrees bc he’s scared of his little sister lol but also not.

Here’s a thought! Instead of scouting your relatives who aren’t idols, how about you guys just put on auditions for these spots? That way, new actors who actually want to act can get a role! Is it my fault you guys started casting for a commercial 3 days before V-Day? (I assume bc the girls are talking about it, and lbr you don’t actually remember until a few days before lol)

“Let’s sTArT with YOU CONFeSsINg yoUR LOVE tO a gIRL” Yeah that sounds like a great way to get people to act. With things they can’t do normally (Maito, who can’t talk to girls other than relatives). I guess they made this scene so it would be comical. I still didn’t like it.

Although I think that the three would make a cute unit ^^

Maika, you don’t just ask someone you don’t know if they have a crush. Also the fact that Kazune points out Penne... I don’t even understand??? I love slapstick comedy but I really really don’t understand what Penne’s deal was. I did laugh here tho ^^ (reminded me of Nina ngl xP)

I think Ema did a really good job talking to Kagami. But that’s probably because he’s the only one with a real problem that they could solve. It’s probably not solved, but Kagami has some better motivation now, since we could tell that he was giving up on his dream. Good job Ema.

OHMYGOSH AINE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU thank you Maito for ignoring her, it was a stupid request. Actually I think if you want to start boxing you don’t start with gloves bc they injure your hands and you just do movements in the air... but I won’t say anything bc I don’t actually know. When Maito asks “you believe me?” to Aine, it gives the sense that no one else believes his dream? But if I’m not wrong this hasn’t ever been brought up before? I get that Maito wasn’t important before, but I think that a scene similar to what Kagami got with Ken before the girls showed up would’ve been a good back up to this point.

THAT’S HER DREAM NOW??? THE WHOLE WORLD???

I don’t understand what part of Aine’s conversation convinced Maito to do the CM. All she said was that she wanted to help Mio. Maito, you know less about Mio than you do of Aine! Why does he care? He’s more discreet about his feelings, as a character. Those type of people have always bothered me I’m sorry. I guess this is an acceptable scene I’m just annoyed by Aine.

Just WHY is there a premiere event for a COMMERCIAL?? Especially the 3rd in a series??? That’s just promotion, geez.

I just keep thinking about how expensive macarons are... and you’re just giving away 11 of them for free...

I can’t say much about the commercial. It was... as I would expect from them -_-

I think it’s cute that they became fans like that XD I still don’t get why Maito became a PP fan... at least just the towel is fitting for him.

There’s... too much to unpack in the last few seconds so I won’t even try to unless anyone wants me to XP

Conclusion: Aikatsu can’t pull off boy idols. But we already knew that from M4, didn’t we?

#aikatsu friends #my thoughts #feel free to respond #im up for discussion

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futurewriter2000 · 7 years ago

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Potion

A/N: Oh my god I am so freaking proud of this one and I’m so glad my writers block didn’t ruin it. Also this one is my first severus one and I know I said that it Will probably come after Thursday but this is just..it couldn’t wait.

PAIRING: Severus Snape x Slytherin reader

REQUEST: Do you think you could write a random Snape x reader fic? XP

TAGS: @shadyladyperfection, @geeksareunique, @huflerin

How long? How long have you been in Slytherin and never in all your years of attending Hogwarts have you not noticed a boy crushing on you. Ambitious, cunning, resourceful, determined, clever and more amongs other things. You were the definition of a true Slytherin.

And him. Who was he to be in your lane?

Never has he took eyes off of you. Your bright smile, blessing the Slytherin table with its light. It was almost addicting.

“Severus!” snapped Regulus, waving his hand in front of Severus and breaking his gaze from you. “Honestly mate, you need to stop with that.”

“Stop with what?” replied Severus surprisingly, his voice low and cold.

“Don’t play daft, Snape. We all know you like her. I think even she know that.” winked Regulus and put another spoonful of soup in his mouth.

Wait. Was he really being this obvious about his feeling towards you? He couldn’t have been. He hid them pretty good for Lilly, what makes it so different from now? he wondered while his eyes stuck on you.

That’s excatly when you turned your gaze away from your friends and made an eye contact with Snape. His eyes widened in shock as you were literally seeing him, not through him, but seeing him. Placing even a bigger smile on your lips you waved at him and looked back at your friend.

“Severus...” grumbled Regulus as he glared at his friend for gripping his hand tightly and spilling the soup from the spoon on his robes.

“ Sorry.” he mumbled quietly as he let go of Regulus’ arm. To be honest Severus was never good with girls. Being the main victim of infamous Marauders and their pranks, most people from other houses thought of him as a freak. His house on the other hands, saw him as a brilliant mind with a great talent for Potions and the Dark Arts. Except he didn’t know that and the only attention he ever got from a girl was you right now at this very moment. He felt his heart rate growing faster and faster, while his cheeks coloured his pale skin pink.

“I think I just witnessed Severus Snape melt for a girl for the first time.” snickered Regulus and immediatly got an ugly look from Snape.

“Oi, (y/n)!” yelled the boy with dark curls and gorgeous grey green eyes, making you slightly blush as he ran closer to you.

You couldn’t figure out what his name was but being a pureblood yourself you definetly knew his surname. Every strong pureblood family was connected with eachother and you definetly knew this boy as a member of the Black family.

“Black.” you greeted, pulling your books tighter to your chest with a small smile appearing in the corner of your lips.

“Please, call me Regulus.” he smiled, making your cheeks grow roses after hearing his lovely voice.

“Regulus, right.” you replied, trying to seal that name in your brain. “So how can I help you Regulus?”

“Well as a big fan of Potions, that I am, I am even bigger fan of your friend you are partnered with.” he grinned and walked along side you. “So I was thinking if you would be a dear and-”

“Switch up partners for you.” you finished his sentance. It wasn’t hard to figure out where it was leading but you had to admit to yourself you were a bit disappinted. Regulus was handsome, everybody knew that but if he was interested in your best friend, who would you be if you didn’t help your best friend score a hot date. “Of course Regulus. Just know that if you hurt her I will ruin you.” you smiled jokingly and walked away.

“Thats rubbish! You couldn’t hurt a pretty face like this in a million years.”he grinned and started walking backwards, further away from you.

“No beauty is forever Black. Remember that!” you shouted back and walked into your next class.

‘Damn those Blacks and their charm. Just like his brother.’

“You did what?!” whispered Severus to Regulus as they stood at the table.

“Don’t be such a wuss Snape. It’s just a potion, not a wedding. Now as soon as she comes in you are gonna put on your best smile and you are going to woo her and ask her out.” demanded Regulus, putting his hands on Severus shoulders and looking him deep in the eyes.

“No I will not! Do you know what you di-” he spoke angrly but was interrupted by the bell and incoming students filling up the classroom.

“Saved by the bell. Make me proud.” grinned Regulus, tapping Severus on the back and walking away from him.

“No! Reg-” he whisper-yelled but was interrupted by you walking closer to him and making him shut up immediatly.

You placed your books on the desk and looked up to Severus. Knowing he was Regulus’ partner you never worried about today. You always saw Snape as a brilliant student yet a bit mysterious, which always made you a bit curious. “Hello Severus.” you greeted him with a lovely smile gracing your lips.

God he was about to melt to hearing his name come from your lips. “Umm...hello.” he mumbed out, trying to sound as normal as he could but you could notice the high pitch voice.

It was no secret that Severus Snape liked you. Your friends kept teasing you about him and you caught him watching you from time to time. But to be honest, he did seem to catch your attention every single time. He was quiet, yet quite a smart-mouth when he was asked a question. Sometimes you saw him read a book under a linden tree, sitting there and looking so peaceful. Those times all you wanted to do was walk over there just to get a bit quiet and peace, away from all the noise. You never listened to the rumors, true or not, you always judged a person after you met them. And Severus, he was quite handsome. His interest in the Dark Arts made girls swoon and not only that but every girl in your house wanted to know his secret. His deep and dark secret that nobody figured out what it was, just few of his closest friends. His mysteriousness, brilliance and fraternity sure made him a catch, whether he knew it or not.

Severus Snape. This is sure going to be interesting.

When the two of you were working on your potion, you couldn’t help yourself but to observe his features. His dark eyes were focused on the book and reading through the ingridients while his neck-length hair fell before him. They weren’t greasy as the Marauders and others teased him about. They were normal, black long hair, washed or not, they were still looking quite attractive on him.

This time he noticed your eyes on him so he looked at you from the corner of his eyes and a sly smirk quickly formed as he spoke. “ Can’t focuse?”

You shook your head as you heard him say that, knowing he must have known you stared at him for too long. “Um...well.. “ you mumbled, feeling your cheeks heat up and your heart beat faster. “I was just...yeah, you caught me.” you then smiled, knowing you couldn’t get out of this situation.

He was surprised to hear you say that. His crush was just staring at him. Were you checking him out too? I mean, maybe the bunn but what girl doesn’t check that. ;)

“Here. Let me show you.” he smiled and moved away from the couldron.

“Show me what?” you asked him while you moved closer to the couldron with Doxy eggs laying in front of you.

“I get Regulus with not doing all the work, but it’s definetly not going to be the same with you.” he smiled and stepped behind you.

As soon as you felt him stand behind you, you felt warmth wash over you. He wasn’t touching you, no, but his presence made your lungs squeeze and your heart beat faster. Feeling his breath on your neck, you couldn’t help yourself but to get even more distracted than before.

“Got it?” he asked and you suddenly realised you haven’t paid any attention to a word he spoke to you right now.

“Can you repeat one more time. I’m still a bit confused.” you replied and tried not to look at him.

“Yeah, sure.” he smirked as he knew you got distracted once again. Maybe because of him, maybe not, but today you sure weren’t your usual self. “See the colour of the potion. It’s still too bright, so to get the exact colour we want to, which is blue, we’ll have to add the doxy eggs. Now usually, the right amount is a fist-full, but I believe it will cause more damages, so I usually take half of that.” he explained, this time his voice low and attractive as it was coming right behind your ear.

“Umm...okay.” you replied taking a fistfull of doxy eggs. Hearing his chuckle behind you, you realized you must have done something wrong. “What?” you smiled.

“You just did the opposite of what I told you.” he chuckled and reached over to your palm. “Here let me.”

You let go of the doxy eggs and slowly let them fall on his hand until there was half of them left. He put away his, getting them back in the bowl and he reached to your hand one more time. He gently took a hold of your hand, lifting it up and leading it towards the couldron. He didn’t even know his other hand was on your waist, but you sure did and you liked it. Looking over your shoulder you noticed his eyes fixed on the potion and you immediatly turned your gaze back to your holding hands. His hand was much bigger than yours, his slim fingers gently wrapped around your wrist, while his palm supporting your arm.

“Now slowly drop them in.” he spoke, almost in a whisper.

And you did. You let him take all the lead and you dropped your doxy eggs, slowly one by one, while your potion soon turned its colour into beautiful bright blue. Looking over your shoulder one more time, you caught him smiling at the finished potion. It was the first time you saw him smile like that. Like a real, true smile.

You turned around, only inches apart from him, and looked up. “Severus?”

He looked down, finally snapping back from his dream world of passion and potions to reality of you being really close to him by now. He realized he had his hand on your waist, so he quickly removed it and stepped back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to you know...I just kind of forgot while I got lost in the potion. You know I always have a thing for that and how perfect it needs to be..I just kind of forgot-”

“Severus.” you giggled as he continued to ramble on.

“It was just Regulus and sayins how I need to ask you out cuz I’ve kind of liked you for a long time and I just don’t know how to say it correctly becasue I’ve never-”

“Severus!” you said a bit louder than before, shutting him up and taking another step closer. “Ask me.” you smiled, looking up to his dark eyes and putting away a strand of your hair.

Ask you? Ask you wh-oooh. he suddenly realized what you meant. He fixed his tie and put away his hair. “(y/n)(y/l/n), Will you go on a date with me?”

“I would love to.”

#severus snape #severus snape x reader #regulus black #regulus imagine #marauders imagine #marauders #marauders era #the marauders #sirius black x reader #james potter x reader #remus x reader

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rocknrollsalad-moved · 7 years ago

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Day eight of the December Prompt List: Penny for your thoughts I’m honestly not even sure what this is other than an idea that popped in and wouldn’t go away. it’s really fun though. At least I think so. Also. I jumped about seven days and some of the others are written (some I’m far too stuck on but my friends aren’t really into discussions it seems xP). It’s not about the order though, right? The new content.

Just off where the labs were sat a few conference rooms, one had been claimed by Bruce and it was where he worked when he needed silence. Or space. Or any number of other excuses he gave to go work alone. Old habits died hard and sometimes it was difficult to participate in the team sport science had become but everyone allowed him his space. It worked out about as well as it could and what amounted to a private office was a help.

The room nearest the labs, though, they dubbed the “Brainstorm Bunker” and (unfortunately) the name stuck. It was where the team went to hash things out without the lure of other projects. Whether the team was just Tony or it involved any combination of the brilliant minds that wandered through.

Bruce hated the room as much as the lab on the days where he felt science was to be a quiet activity. He always felt little was accomplished in there. As entertaining and strange as it was to watch Rhodes and Tony argue over the weight of weapons on armor or what toppings to put on pizza, it didn’t get any work done.

Occasionally, there were magical times that helped Bruce see the rooms worth. When everyone synced together. The blueprint covered table no longer full of discarded ideas and the squeak of markers writing on every available surface was only barely drown out by the constant chatter.

There’d been a transition in the Brainstorm Bunker as of late, though. With Peter running around the building now it’d become the home of the world’s strangest mentorship. Bruce and Tony routinely found themselves sitting in there with take-out rather than blueprints, answering an endless stream of questions.

Valuable to the kid, Bruce was sure, but it didn’t change his feelings on the room and often he retreated long before curfew. Which didn’t mean there weren’t times when Bruce found himself wrapped up in a discussion on particles or the quickest way to travel through space.

As time passed, the room eased back to a place to brainstorm with the added atmosphere of encouragement. Tony gave up his space to work things out free of distractions and interruptions to nurture Peter’s intelligence.

It was hard not admire it, Bruce wasn’t one for praise and never said anything to Tony but he admired the man for what he was doing. That admiration bought Tony and Peter ten days of Bruce agreeing to stick around and offer input without complaint.

Now he drifted in and out as he wanted, offering help and frustrating the crowd by easily correcting their work. The latter Bruce handled with smug smiles and a quick exit, never admitting how much he loved the banter and the playful way they dealt with it.

Bruce wasn’t just asked to adjust to it either. Tony brought in a few of Bruce’s comforts and did things like consistently provide decaf coffee. Even if it went untouched most days and he always insisted it was for Peter because the child didn’t need any stimulants. Peter kept a little quieter these, less like a constant stream of thoughts and tried to select his words with care. They kept the lights a little dimmer than either liked and never ate the last donut.

Each thing was a small gesture but Bruce never felt so welcome.

The drop in peer pressure was appreciated the most, though. That feeling they chased when working with Helen Cho and Pepper, or with a few of Rhodes’ coworkers, trying to force too many minds on the same page. It was always a rare moment, the sort that had Bruce wondering if the sky parted and allowed the sun to shine on only the compound. There was a constant want to achieve that feeling everytime anyone gathered. Pressure the find greatness but rarely making it there.

Now seemed a constant but they weren’t forcing it, they just clicked. As cosmic as that sounded, which Bruce hated, there was no other way to say it. The three of them fell into the same rhythm and created something beautiful. Something that had Bruce leaning on explanations outside of the scientific.

When they stopped asking too much of Bruce and when he started giving them more, the Brainstorm Bunker never slept. A constant flurry of accomplishment. And a small sampling of the world’s brightest minds got together to improve everything. There was no stopping them.

The more time they spent together, the more they uncovered. Not in physics or engineering but about each other. Learning that Tony chewed with his mouth open far too often or that Bruce snored loud enough to knock down walls (though everyone knew that one, it was hard to miss). It was all par for the course, they were spending hours a day with each other in close quarters.

Some things were handled easy, Tony already had a handful of tricks to wake Bruce without turning things green, but others were handled with a touch of fun. Like the money jar, the first of many.

Peter showed up with it after a night of joking, something he claimed was once a jar of pickles but seemed bigger than any jar of pickles Bruce had seen. Complete with a well-written sign, something Peter swore up and down his aunt made but no one believed him. The whole thing led to a night of jokes at Peter’s expense. Between his handwriting and his use of glitter glue, they had enough to mock him for weeks.

Much like a swear jar, the point was to stop a behavior by having to put money in each time something happened. This was an original Parker idea and flawed as it was, it became a decent source of laughter.

For this one, a dollar was to go in the jar every time Tony took a work call when they were all invested or on a roll. Tony instantly took the wind out of Peter’s sails as he dropped a hundred dollar bill in the jar and proclaimed it should at least get him through the week.

Later that night, once Peter had gone home, Bruce found himself explaining the faults with that. It was painful for watch the sixteen-year-old deflate (and then try and pretend he didn’t). Peter took all their jokes about scrapbooking and crafting without flinching but when his joke didn’t succeed it was crushing. Bruce hated how much of himself he saw in that moment.

The jar sat on a side table among their discarded coffee cups and carafes of water for weeks as a reminder to all of them. It took half that time to get Peter back to himself and to stop holding back as he tried to bond with his mentors.

Almost two months after the first jar’s arrival, Tony added a second. It was small and took Bruce a few minutes to recognize as the bath salts jar from the back of the tub. A post-it note was duct taped over the peeled off label, in Sharpie Tony had written ‘derailing us by geeking out over physics $5’

Bruce instantly prompted Peter to add some ridiculous stickers to it and the boy didn’t let Bruce down. The next time he seen the jar it was covered in unicorns and sloths, as well as a smattering of emjois. Without a word to Tony as to why Bruce high fived Peter as they were grabbing sodas before sitting down to work.

Peter sat a little straighter that day and for the first time in a long time Bruce felt some pride. It was hard for him to not grin as he sat there talking about new tactical suits. At this point, Bruce wasn’t even trying to hide out in other spaces and this was the exact reason why.

They’d gone beyond just getting along, no one was tolerating anyone or tagging along. Things had moved to a point of comradery where they were developing their own in-jokes and secret languages. Albeit small, it was their tribe.

The hundred in the first jar had doubled and the newer physics-talk jar had twenty dollars in it. No one touched the money but they all were eager to hold the room accountable for them. Which was why the third jar appeared.

Much like the others, it was a comical suggestion based on a real flaw. Bruce and Tony had gone in together on it and as much as Tony wanted to bring down a punch bowl or fish tank, he was forced to settle on an old, unused decanter.

On the front was a typed note “Blurting out each thought in your head $1” but in the time between creating the label and it’s arrival in their bunker the dollar price had been crossed out three times. Fifty cents, down to twenty-five, and finally settling on a dime for each time Peter just spewed out whatever was in his head.

If these jars were serious, this one would have negated the need for the conversations about physics derailing everything. The trait was part of Peter’s character, it wasn’t as bad as either of them made it out to be, but as their comfort levels with each other had hit this synchronized point they were learning too much about one member of this tribe.

Bruce was sure if he heard one more story start with ‘So I had this dream the other night’ he was going to pack his bags and move out.

Rather than let the kid notice on his own, Tony was pointing it out before he was all the way in the room and it had Bruce shaking his head. Wondering if he should have Tony toss any spare change the very jar he was pointing out.

Peter reacted with less than the expected embarrassment, Bruce was thankful. And the joke given about wishing he had a hundred dollars to throw in there made for an easy transition into their work.

For the first week, this jar remained in the middle of the table they spent most of their time at. After that, it lived with the others in the sea of beverages. Peter kept a roll of dimes in his backpack, Bruce stashed one in a pencil cup, and Tony argued with anyone who dared say he needed to contribute.

Six weeks into it, Bruce came in to find the price had been slashed to five cents. Peter was clearly the culprit but Bruce didn’t say anything. Passing off his half a roll of dimes, replacing it a few days later with nickels, Bruce played along.

Jars kept appearing on the table for various faults and quirks though none were better than the jar Pepper placed to shame them all for the number of jars laying about. It served as a perfect reminder, for Bruce, how connected she was with the team despite not being there every day.

Not ending her involvement there, Pepper came and took the money out of all the jars and then wrote a note on the board with what charity the money went to. Instantly after she did this, Tony went through and dropped money into certain ones, repurchasing his free pass.

For months this carried on. New jars appeared some were mystically broken, others filled up so fast they needed two. Peter was still paying into the jar for blurting out every thought in his mind more than all the other jars combined. Yet this time it wasn’t saving his allowance that prompted the red pen edit to the price.

With only one increment of money left, the jar now bore the price of one cent for oversharing. A change Tony noticed surprisingly quick. Without addressing it, waving a few bills in the air, Tony hollered out for no other reason than to draw everyone’s attention to him.

“Peter! Be a dear and go put this in the terrible pun jar for me.”

Bruce looked at Tony with confusion, watching as the man waited for the money to drop in with a smug smile on his face. Petr dropped the money in with a look matching Bruce’s, both staring at Tony knowing he hadn’t made a terrible pun. There hadn’t been much talking at all up to this point.

Looking through the equations, Bruce looked for any hidden jokes but his brain wasn’t fast enough. Tony had purchased the right for this and he wasn’t about to wait.

A laser pointer danced on the jar that caught Tony’s eye as he laughed at his own joke before telling it.

“Penny for your thoughts, Parker!”

#2017 december writing challenge #joey writes

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videogamesincolor · 7 years ago

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Assassin’s Creed: Origins (2017) - An Ode to Bayek’s Beard (SPOILERS)

Assassin’s Creed: Origins, much like Assassin’s Creed 3, feels hamstrung by the period in time it’s set it, or rather the real-life characters it chooses to have the story revolve around outside their protagonists (Bayek and Aya).

WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT IT?

Assassin’s Creed: Origins sees a fully realized period of Ancient Egypt around the time the Greeks and Romans were lurking about and Cleopatra existed. Bayek of Siwa has full reign of Ubisoft Montreal’s latest sandbox and grind world, and if you’re into the kind of game where you can get lost and distracted by the goings on of NPC (human and animal life alike), and the manipulation of “real time” (day can become night, and night can become day at your leisure), then Origins won’t disappoint you.

It’s a welcome change from a France where everyone has cockney accents and Old London which isn’t all that different from Colonial America.

It’s a part of history most people really aren’t familiar with beyond golden age and modern day movies where white actors dress up and paint their skin brown, and information is almost always dubious at best, so the audience’s general ignorance of the history itself lends itself to the world building that makes the environment feel alive and worth exploring, because doubtless most folk are going to do some research after playing this game for better context and understanding.

In terms of gameplay, the most interesting aspect of the gameplay (for me) is the use of Bayek’s Eagle, which, shocker, really does not have a role in the narrative at all (so you don’t have to worry about a scene out of The Mummy Returns, where Ardeth Bay’s bird companion is killed). The game’s take on Eagle vision is basically using Bayek’s eagle to scope out enemies within the area. This has no bearing on the narrative or the plot, so anyone expecting the Eagle to explain why all of the Assassin’s from Altair to whoever else has detective vision that can see mysterious symbols and enemies in red will be sorely disappointed.

Side missions range from helping a villager save their relative or friend from whoever is occupying Siwa or Alexandria, to saving a villager from lions and crocodiles, who aggro the moment you walk just a few inches within their general spitting distance. There are other elements: if you’re into gladiator or street fights, they’re certainly around to be had, but the villager in peril missions stuck out the most to me and seem to make up the bulk of the busywork.

Most of the voice performances are solid, particularly from Abubakar Salim (Bayek), Zora Biship (Cleopatra) and Alix Regan (Aya). My only real quibble with Salim is that it sounded like he was told to growl through half of his dialog if it had nothing to do with jovial conversation, or quiet moments with Aya, which is a problem I had with the voice direction for the protagonist in The Evil Within 2, but nowhere near as bad or as Clint Eastwoody (thank god).

I like Bayek and Aya, they’re a welcome reprieve the doldrums that were the Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate twins and the the French Ezio from, um, Assassin’s Creed Unity (I think was its name). They feel connected to the world the player is allowed to roam and see primarily through the eyes of Bayek, and which plays a big part in caring about these characters at all in conjunction with their narrative drive.

Even the skeleton of the story for Origins is fine:

You’ve got a husband and a wife, Bayek of Siwa and Aya (presumably of Alexandria and not Siwa) looking to avenge the death of their son when he is killed by a masked group of thugs searching for something (the apple of eden most likely) Bayek has no real knowledge of. The two of them seek out their son’s murders using methods that would later become the foundation of the order of Assassins (tfw you accidentally cut your own finger off and history remembers you as a duty-driven badass). By all rights, this should’ve been the meat and potatoes of the game: Bayek and Aya working together, the player switching between the two characters for different scenarios, and setting up the creation of the order in Egypt and the antagonists that they fought.

WHAT’S BAD ABOUT IT?

Aya and Bayek spend most of their time separated, with Bayek seemingly preoccupied with avenging their son, and Aya preoccupied with a duty she swore to Queen Cleopatra (who apparently is in exile and looking to usurp her brother, the “Puppet Pharaoh”), to the point where she doesn’t seem to have the same passion for retribution as Bayek anymore.

Once they’re together, the game dedicates some of its early cinematics to demonstrating that the two adore each other, mostly through sex. Bayek and Aya are probably the only canon romance in Assassin’s Creed that feels like a genuine relationship, and not “character B makes moon eyes at character A” (Henry and Evie), “character A is a womanizer and ‘the only woman he ever loved�� was murdered” (Ezio), “My girlfriend’s a Templar” (Arno and the Elise), or “Kaniehtí:io has sex with Haytham Kenway in order to justify Connor’s biracial status because Ubisoft made such a big deal about the fact that their Native American protagonist was half-white and they wanted to keep Haythem in the plot” (AC3).

When the game needs to demonstrate how these two work together as a team, it’s often Aya only delivering Bayek some information and the player carrying out said mission as Bayek. Bayek is isolated from the character that makes him the most dynamic, and Aya, who you think would’ve been a “scenario b” character (someone please revive the Resident Evil 2 dynamic, plz), is regulated to much of the background until the end of the game.

Even then, she’s only playable for maybe four or five missions: A ship battle, a stealth mission to light the Beacons of Not-Gondor, and two assassination missions at the closing of the game. An even bigger problem with this structure for Aya, is that this is only possible by removing the central character (Bayek) from the focus of the narrative, which creates imbalance in the story. It really felt like Ubisoft had no idea who they wanted for a POV character. And from the looks of things, Aya’s playability (the reveal that she was Amunet, a legendary Assassin who used snakes to kill Cleopatra) is more of an afterthought than something they originally intended from the very start of the game’s production.

Once Cleopatra enters the scene, the game forgoes pretending that it’s interested in making their adversaries (the people who killed their son) characters. Where a game like Assassin’s Creed 3 might’ve spent just a little too much time fleshing out the fictionalized versions of historical character villains when it should’ve been focusing more on Connor, Origins has the opposite problem.

It doesn’t give its villains any time to become characters, which undermines Bayek and Aya’s progression as protagonists with a goal. The villains are part of a group called the “Order of the Ancients”, which acts as a precursor for the Templar Order (I guess???). None of them, save Khaliset (the Hyena), even register on the Richter Scale of memorable. They die, and then Bayek and Aya spend a lot of time in empty space having a shouting match with them (in what looks bad theatre) before banishing them with a feather. There was a slightly clever twist where one enemy called “The Crocodile” was a haggard old white woman, but the most they ever do with her is introduce her, and then send the player off to kill her.

Supporting characters in Bayek’s story, most of which are friends or family, are simply there to betray him after he has a little joke and laugh with them. I swear, its like every single character he meets that isn’t some village peasant! One particularly interesting minor character, Kensa, was a former Medjay that worked with Bayek and turned to Gladiator battles to make a name for herself.

She’s a fun character who fights with Bayek up until he discovers The Crocodile is one of the people hosting the gladiator battles. Kensa declares that she’d never betray Bayek (and I believe she wouldn’t), but the moment the game sends you after The Crocodile, you overhear her talking to your target like a drone and then the game has Bayek kill her unceremoniously with no reference to Bayek’s deed afterward. She’s just dead on the ground.

The missions dedicated to Cleopatra are perhaps one too many. She and her subplot really could’ve been a background fodder. The people Aya and Bayek were gunning after could easily make up most of the bulk of the story, but, nope, gotta weave Cleo up into that plot somehow, no matter how clunky it turns out.

What good is the formation of the Assassins if the opponents that spark the catalyst effect mean nothing more to the game than a few experience points to shove aside as it masturbates to the introduction of Cesar, Pompeii references, and the assassination of Cesar? Like Assassin’s Creed 3, I really think Bayek and Aya got short-changed because Ubisoft Montreal’s history boner continues to get the better of them (and they just have mediocre writers).

The way the game chooses to end Bayek and Aya’s relationship is about a weak as the accidental creation of the Assassin’s logo (a bird skull falls in the sand, Aya picks it up and bam, there’s the logo). A lot about the last moments of the game feel like Ubisoft remembered, “oh, wait, this is supposed to be a game about the formation the assassins!” And jammed the climax with almost every reference they’ve made to Egypt’s Assassin Bureau beforehand as quickly as possible.

Ubisoft’s gameplay continues to bloat out Creed games that, at this point, are better off being linear experiences, or sandbox games no larger than Assassin’s Creed or Assassin’s Creed 2. The fact that Origins "requires” the player to grind in-between story missions or side-quests in order to exploit a XP system I believe would’ve been ignored altogether like the feather missions in AC2, is scummy to say the least.

I really dislike the lightning in this game and how it effects the character models. Most of Assassin’s Creed: Origins looks as though it was run through a Instagram filter and hit with a bad case of bloom. Aya and Bayek’s skin tone is inconsistent as hell. In some scenes they’re a solid dark brown, in others, they’re so pale and washed out, it looks like they need a blood transfusion. A lot the NPCs look ashy and washed out in the bright light, and that only seems corrected in some pre-rendered cinematics.

It feels as though Ubisoft tried to find some “happy medium” between the commonly accepted mainstream depiction of Ancient Egyptians (fair skinned, pale, and ambitiously brown) and historical depiction of Ancient Egyptians as seen in their artwork (most if, not all of the, had fairly dark skin). But, more often than not, they bowed to colorism.

On another note, Ubisoft really needs to ditch the real world elements since Desmond Miles is dead and gone (his story, in the retrospect that is “the world is gonna end in 2012!″, was benign to begin with), and none of the no-name characters they introduce do anything to restart the dead battery that is Modern Assassins vs. Abstergo Industries, but, Assassin’s Creed is a franchise perpetually held back by its weaker components on top of the overreach of its developers ambitions.

The most compelling thing about Assassin’s Creed: Origins is the world it created. For a bunch of people who decided Egypt would be a boring environment for a game (thought I’m not surprised they decided to set it during the time the Greeks and Romans were rolling up in the place), they certainly make it work to their advantage. Bayek and Aya are perhaps their strongest characters in the franchise, but, they’re stuck in a story that doesn’t feel all that together and is rushed by the end of the day.

I didn’t expect a lot from this game, I liked some of the things I got from it, but at this point, expecting better from an Assassin’s Creed game seems misguided nowadays and one should always lower their expectations.

#videogamesincolor #assassin's creed: origins #bayek #aya of alexandria #assassin's creed #assassin's creed series #lord jesus its a long post

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sentinelkelly · 7 years ago

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Destiny 2: Curse of the Butthurt Man-Children Review

Destiny 2 has been in trouble for awhile now and despite what the crying man-children on Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, the Bungie forums and the hack of journalists from Kotaku, Forbes (lol did I really include them?), IGN, and Polygon, I strongly believe Destiny 2 is getting better in some aspects and worse in others. I still believe this game have great potential in the future, but for Destiny 2 to be great, Bungie needs to be less reactive and beat the community to the punch, sort of speak. More on that a little later. Let’s get on to my blasphemous opinions.

The Story

The Curse of Osiris story reminds me of Call of Duty: Black Ops III’s story. Let me explain before you get triggered: The Call of Duty, in my opinion, always had a great story despite how you felt about the multiplayer and it’s community. When I played Black Ops III’s campaign, I couldn’t help but to be lost in the plot and be almost put to sleep. The plot was convoluted and had too much filler content that further added to my confusion. This is exactly how I felt playing Curse of Osiris’s story. Although people think the story was pretty fast, I beg to differ. It took me about 4 hours to complete, excluding getting distracted by Public Events and in real life stuff. Then again, I wasn’t speed-running. Maybe that’s why, but it was definitely longer than the Dark Below which a lot of people forget about. Bungie squandered a perfect opportunity to effectively use the Osiris lore.

At the same token, Bungie opened the door to expanding the Osiris lore (besides a webcomic) and revealing some Saint-14 lore. I would also love some Dredgen Yor lore at some point too. Time well tell how much more lore we’ll get and of whom.

Eververse

Dear Lord... I hate the fact that the loot pool is so large and RNG is still what you expect from a Destiny game. If I had to pick which is worse between Treasures of Ages and Illuminated Engrams, I wouldn’t answer because there is no lesser of the two evils. Although, at least I get the armor in Destiny 2 while I still haven’t get a single piece of AoT armor for any character on Destiny 1... on Xbox and PS4.

At the end of the day, her wares are still optional, cosmetic to a certain extent, and not game breaking. That’s all I truly ask for in microtransacions. You can make the argument that the Ghost Shells increase xp gains, points out nearby chests and all that jazz. Then, I’ll rebuttal by calling you a retard and ask a simple question: “How does differ from other Ghost Shells and how does it give you an unfair advantage in the Crucible?” Basically, the only people who still hates Eververse are unlucky like me, poor/cheap people and conspiracy theorists that think Bungie is intentionally making her stuff look better than the non-microtransaction gear. Stop being poor. Taste is subjective.

Mercury

It’s a very small area that I would’ve forgiven if you could freely explore the Infinite Forest, Past Mercury, and Dark Future Mercury. However, you can’t. You can only replay the story missions and adventures to go to those places. Not to mention there’s only one Lost Sector. There’s enough space for at least three. Mercury was over-hyped. The Infinite Forest was filler. More could’ve been done.

Despite that, the visuals are beautiful as always. Past Mercury gives you a sense of peace and serenity while Dark Future Mercury makes the atmosphere more grim and dire. Also, doing Flashpoints on Mercury doesn’t require to actually do a single Public Event. You just have to kill majors that are running around the map.

The Leviathan Raid Lair

I have not played it yet, but I heard great things about it. It’s a shame that Bungie advertised it as just a shorter version of the current raid with different bosses and mechanics because I had low expectations and now I think I might be in for a great time.

I’ll update more when I can finally play it.

#TwoTokensAndABlue: Public Events were Nerfed

So much with being rewarding. Less xp gains, lower probability getting exotics, and quite frankly more of a reason not drop everything to go do one.

The Current State of Crucible

Crucible is still like listening to music on Spotify without premium: You gotta play until you get the gametype you want or keep backing out until you get the match you want. There are also no signs of old Destiny 1 game modes returning and the current ones being separated.

At least, we get to tell future Kinderguardians that for a weekend, the Destiny Community was able to play a large game of laser tag and then there’s the return of Mayhem Clash. MC is the only thing making PvP worth play to me.

Armor Ornaments

I’mma just say it: Most of the ornaments makes the armor look ugly and/or are uninspired. Above all, I’m extremely disappointed with Future War Cult’s. All it does is change the color scheme to white and blue. That’s it.

I do like the fact that you can unlock ornaments account wide. For example, unlocking the Crucible Titan Mark ornament unlocks the Crucible Hunter Cloak and Warlock Bond even if you never played on the other characters.

“Heroic” Strikes

Oh boy... Where do I begin? I was very excited about this. A good percentage of my Destiny 1 playtime was shutting my brain off after a long day and running Heroic Strikes if I liked the modifiers. Destiny 2 said, “Why don’t I just take Vanguard Strikes, raise the power level and call it Heroic Strikes? That’s it!” Bungie did say that they will add modifiers, but two things: 1) Why didn’t you just wait? If it’s incomplete why release it now when you could do so later complete? 2) I hope the modifiers aren’t the Destiny 2 Nightfall modifiers. Please God no.

The Vault System is Still a Mess

Imagine every single file on your computer was on your desktop. No folders. Just right there in front of your face. On top of all that, you can only have 200 of those files on your computer before you have to start deleting stuff. That’s where we’re still at. Not to mention you can hold up to 50 different shaders on your person, yet Bungie decides to make more than 50 unique shaders. It gets better: Duplicate Dawning shaders will sort into separate stacks depending on where they were received from. Dawning shaders received through Eververse will fall into one stack, and shaders earned through activity rewards will be sorted into another. This is not a bug and was intentional. On top of all this: no increased vault space, shader kiosk, or mass deletion option.

Prestige Mode Locked by CoO-Paywall

It seems like the less you invest in Destiny 2 (monetary-wise and in playtime), the more your opinion matters somehow in comparison to actual dedicated fans of the game. The whole issue was that people who didn’t owe the DLC, can’t play the 330 version of the Nightfall & Leviathan Raid due to vanilla players not being able to reach the new level cap. Trials of the Nine was also blocked. Note: Normal Mode was bumped up for both the Nightfall and Raid so you can still reach 305 playing those. Trials ALWAYS required people to have the latest DLC and patches. Hell, Nightfalls got the same treatment in Destiny 1, and mind you, there was only one difficulty. The only people that were angry were the disgruntled Destiny 2 players who stopped playing a long time ago and/or already owns the DLC. Trust me, if you’re a hardcore fan of Destiny or remotely likes it, you would’ve made arrangements to get the DLC. Don’t come at me with that “I love the game, but have no money” bullshit. This was all a case of “What if my friend buys Destiny 2 and I can’t play with him/her?!” Um... tell them to buy the game used/on sale and the DLC? Maybe you could buy it for them so you can play with them? Gee, this is a difficult situation I’ve never been in.

Trust me, no one who hasn’t bought Destiny 2 at this point won’t buy it because of all of the ruckus this community is making. Due to Bungie getting cuck’d by a bunch of poor people who don’t even play their game anymore that complained about a theoretical situation, the first Faction Rally of Season 2 was postponed to I assume (I hope) at the beginning of 2018.

Quality of Life Updates Frequency

I remember a time Bungie was constantly adjusting things like the economy and user interface on top of tuning weapons and subclasses, squashing bugs and things of that nature. Destiny 2 received its first Quality of Life update in December on the day of this DLC’s release. Yeah, Bungie fixed stuff here and there between vanilla Destiny 2 and Curse of Osiris releases, but there was the over abundance of legendary shards some people had to deal with, shitty RNG not giving people what they want, etc. that was just improved. The difference between patches and QoL updates to me is one fix problems and the other improves on what was working fine but can be frustrating. There is less of the latter.

The State of the Destiny Community

Everything that I’ve stated thus far is forgivable. However, Destiny 2′s state of being the target of hit pieces of gaming media and butthurt “fan” backlash is 10% Bungie being reactive, 10% Bungie making dumbass decisions, 80% self-proclaimed fans having buyer’s remorse. Destiny 1 was considered an abomination of game around this time last year for whatever dumb reason people came up with. Destiny 1 was shitted on repeatedly. Now all of a sudden, people love and miss Destiny 1 so much. It was the community’s constant bitching that made Destiny 2 the way it is. Bungie had to find a way to not repeat Destiny 1, but guess what... people flipped flopped. Ask any Destiny fan how they felt about Destiny 1, I guarantee all will praise it, but half of them were singing a different tune last year. Destiny 2 and Curse of Osiris is the community’s fault. Bungie had some part in the blame, but: 1) Me and every other non-Bungie employee don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors at the studio in Redmond, WA. 2) If anything, blame the leadership at Bungie. Why are you getting mad some artist or sound engineer. They don’t program the game or have authority to do whatever they want to the final product if it’s outside of their department.

We are the point where people constantly complaining about bullshit like optional microtransactions and plays other games are considered “concerned fans.” Meanwhile, people like me who are objective, still actively plays the game despite it’s current state, and can compliment game when something is done right gets accused of being on Bungie’s payroll. The toxicity of this community reached heights I never thought possible and it makes me cringe to be an actual fan sometimes. Not to say I’m an angel, which I’m not, but at least I provide constructive criticism to Bungie and lash out at little Jimmy who claims to hate the game so much. I’m against people who insist upon passing on their misery onto other people who are actually enjoying the game. I’ve looked on GameStop’s app and Destiny 2 is worth between $12-18. I can recommend better games for that price. If you have Destiny 2 on disc and are that dissatisfied with it, I challenge you to sell it. If you have it digitally, I’m sure you can get a full refund somehow. I challenge you to get that refund. A reasonable adult, tries to get their money back and move on. If you don’t at least try, you’re full shit.

Bungie’s only unforgivable sin is giving birth to a community of entitled ingrates.

Final Verdict: 7.75/10

This could’ve been better and it could get better in 2018. However, out of the gate... it does not live up to the hype.

#destiny #destiny 2 #destiny the game #destiny 2: curse of osiris #curse of osiris #review #bungie #activision #fanboy alert #mercury #eververse #leviathan #raid

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fxralheart · 7 years ago

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Grimm/Magnus for ship thingy xP

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation - I don’t think either of them would for real. They’re both cat people. They I kinda feel like Magnus might adopt a puppy as some kind of joke. Like, “don’t be afraid of the puppy, my little kitten.” Something like that. But the dog would be super cute and adorable, and Magnus would spoil the shit out of it, and Grimm would do the same, low key in the background.

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them - Magnus. Grimm is all for selfies, but the more aesthetically pleasing ones would be all Magnus.

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy - Grimm. Though, Grimm finds most things stupid, so of course it would happen more often for him.

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them - Grimm. It’s his favorite genre, so he doesn’t necessarily pick things just to have Magnus cling to him, but he definitely welcomes the added bonus.

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them - Magnus is the one doing all the reading and studying. As the “High Wizard of Brooklyn”, he has to keep up with the different changes of magic and new potions that are being created. Grimm takes his job as the distraction very seriously, so generally Magnus has to wait until Grimm is gone before he can get any real work or studying done.

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated - They don’t. Grimm is a stubborn little shit that refuses to get Apple products. But generally, when they take time away from each other, the space is welcomed. For every trip, it’s different, but generally it’s the person that’s stuck at home who caves and calls the other

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do - Grimm is more likely to storm out. Actually, that’s generally what he does. He has a lot of anger problems, so when he’s upset, he figures that it’s just safer for all involved to leave. Magnus would be the one who’s more likely to cry, but he always waits until after Grimm leaves, if he cries at all. Generally, he doesn’t cry. It kinda just hides away into himself and closes himself off severely.

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows - Grimm, though he generally tries to get Magnus to do it with him. If Magnus doesn’t, he has absolutely no issues binge watching on his own.

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky - They both two. They like using their teeth a lot. Especially Grimm.

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car - Magnus. You know that cartoon where the water stops running out of the hose and that one character sticks his face right in front of the nozzle, then they get squirted in the face when it magically starts again? That’s Grimm and Magnus.

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays - Magnus. Grimm doesn’t really see the point in decorating, but Magnus loves changing up the loft and totally uses the holidays to do so.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other - Magnus. Grimm does a little too, but again, he’s more prone to flaking out of a situation and not coming back until he’s cooled down. Magnus tends to let it simmer and totally tortures Grimm with the silent treatment when he’s fucked something up.

who plays with the others’ hair more - Magnus plays with Grimm’s hair more.

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored - Grimm. Lmao. He’d be the person to knock a book out of Magnus’ hand, plop down in his lap and be all “fuck that book, i’m more important.”

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can - They both do, the Grimm loves kissing, like really loves it, so I feel like he would initiate more.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up - Magnus, at least in the beginning. After he realizes that it doesn’t really do anything, he might do it every now and then in jest, but generally he doesn’t

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up - That’s hard, because they are both horny little fucks. Grimm probably does the most, but really they both do. Now, Magnus would be more likely to walk away, because Grimm doesn’t have the self control to do that. At least not often.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one - Grimm for both. He never has an umbrella. If they did have one, he’d be the one to hold it because he’s taller.

who demands showering first in the mornings - neither of them do, really. Grimm demands coffee first thing in the morning. Magnus demands more sleep.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings - Grimm does. He’s not very sneaky, though.

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games - Grimm prefers both. Lol. Magnus doesn’t have too much interest in either of those things, but sometimes he indulges Grimm and plays video games with him.

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond - Magnus. Grimm is the asshole that would text back “fuck you, i’m busy” and then turn his phone off. if he responds at all.

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight - Grimm. It’s a big problem.

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets - Grimm. Though he’s more likely to come behind the other and grope him, or slap his ass. So Heck, even Magnus is more likely to do those two things versus sliding hands into the pockets.

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can - Magnus. Grimm prefers the kisses, and Magnus does the hugs

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet - Magnus is fucking noisy and Grimm is either telling him to shut the fuck up, or if it’s during sexy that he’s being loud, he teases him.

#long post #oocanswered #highwarlockxofbrooklyn

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redqueenanxiety · 7 years ago

Text

Modern Red Queen Au Pt1 (Family Business)

A Modern Red Queen AU following a depressed 17-year-old and his summer adventures.

Ugh again? Another wind weaver, personally I wasn't a fan of that house. Sure they were powerful but they're stats pointed to weakness in battle, their special attack and defense were basically nonexistent. Sure they could put up a good fight, but adding a little smog to the air should have them running for the hills.

Why else do you think I choose burner? The stats were amazing the defense and the attack were at their heights. Well if you trained and educated yourself (Which I did) they were at their heights.

I leaned down gracefully, balance is something perfected long ago, keeping my eyes on the concealed enemy, most people didn't travel alone at night but I was well on my way to ranking grandmaster, and Thomas had a band thing tonight, that he couldn't possibly miss. I didn't want to reach this historical achievement without an audience but, it was Tuesday and experience was doubled on Tuesdays!

I smiled as a small fizzle of heat bloomed from my fingertips setting the grass ablaze. I could already smell the smoke before I saw it. The Wind Weaver had no idea who he was dealing with I was Maven Calore the greatest burner to ever live and today was the day I joined the elites and reached level 95 maxing my experience and claiming the title others would envy for years.

Four seconds had passed roughly nine to go before the smoke would begin affecting the Wind Weaver abilities and I'd go in for the kill, actually, no If I powered up my ember to exterminate him I'd get triple the XP. I'd make sure to message him thanking him for the easy experience points, he'd probably be demoted, the more I'd get the more he loses. Thomas was gonna be so jealous, I thought with a smirk.

A faint knock rang throughout the forever dead silent house. The Room chilled.

"Maven, We have visitors get your ass down here!" Mother's voice rang, cold as ice

Shit, not now, why now?This was the worst time possible time. I was so close.

"You better be down here before I open the door, You know who it is, and your hair better be combed."

"In, ah s-second-"I stammered The grass began smoking, 57 more seconds before his wind weaving was rendered useless, 39 more till my ember finished powering up. I'm sure dad could wait.

"No I gave you orders, and you will follow them" She barked, slamming my door open. There she stood in all her glory. Porcelain pale skin to match my own, covered in a deep blue strapless dress to frame her flawless hourglass figure topped with Fine Blond hair braided into an intricate bun, that must've taken hours, with piercing blue eyes. "HOW DARE YOU?"

She probably wasn't too pleased to see her 17-year-old son still in his briefs crumpled over his computer with his school clothes littered everywhere. "I-I can explain-"

I half expected her face to turn red from anger to match her expression like normal people, but mother, wasn't normal, she doesn't get embarrassed or mad just... clever. She was smart like that always getting what she wanted. She simply held out her hand, irritation radiating from her ice cold eyes.

"Please" I huffed "Just nineteen more seconds" Last time she took my keyboard I didn't get it back until four months later which was Christmas.

"Make yourself presentable." She said marching over to rip the keyboard from my desktop in the process, knocking over my limited edition 1989 model of mega man, Thomas had savaged the world for my 16th birthday gift. "You disgust me," was all she said with the slam of the door

Another knock rang through the house followed by mothers hurried footsteps.

I didn't care though, the world didn't matter as I knelt down to pick up the beautifully sculpted figure. Tears filled my eyes as I crumpled in on myself. It had dented. I sat there staring at the thing. It had taken Thomas 2 years to find the damn thing and cost 745.78$ plus shipping from Japan.

I heard another "Maven" Mother's voice again, but more playful, like she hadn't just disrespected my whole being. She'd yanked my keyboard so hard the jack had imploded.

"Mavey?" Cal's voice., No, not now. I was expected Father and his wife, but Cal was too much. I Can't not now. Cal's outburst was followed by footsteps. He was coming.

Crying won't help Mave, so don't start.

No, I refuse to do this right now, Go Away. I commanded I would not entertain these voices anymore. I refuse to.Schizophrenia. That's what she called it. A wild combination of imagination and hallucination drilled into my head. I could control it, I would control it. At least in the presence of Cal.

I slowly pulled myself together, finally convincing myself to pull on some pants and tuck in my shirt. I worked quickly and quietly, Mother was going to be ballistic after dinner. My hair was a tousled mess but more often than not so was Cal's so that shouldn't be too big of an embarrassment during dinner. Now time for the hard part, shoes or no shoes? We were staying home so was there really a point in wearing shoes or formal clothing?

But this was father we were talking about, sometimes I wouldn't eat dinner at all, so it obviously wasn't as sacred to her as it was to father. She was rarely home after all.

My eyes rose to find Cal standing at the door, barefoot as a child, so that answered my question. He looked nice. Why was I not surprised he was wearing simple jeans and a sweater vest that hugged his sculpted muscular form.

Cal looked like my father with his strong angular jaw and rustic amber eyes. We'd both gotten our black fine curls from my father. I could probably achieve the light caramel tan that highlighted his cheekbones if I actually went outside or just took off my hoodie. But my hoodie was my shell, my home, and protection.

He smiled down at me, dazzling as always. He had the same smile girls would stand in line for miles to see, I'd probably stand in line too if he wasn't my brother, Thomas definitely would with me, it's all he ever talked about.

I smiled right back lifting myself off my newly made bed.

"Mavey" He breathed as If he couldn't believe we were actually seeing each other face to face in real life. He'd spent the last six months studying abroad in Tiraxes, some ridiculously preppy school he attempted to talk me into every time we made eye contact. In fact, I was slightly surprised he hasn't started going on about it. "Long time no see," He said with a bigger smile flashing teeth. I wonder if he was doing that on purpose or if he knew he was doing it at all, did some people have to try to be more heartbreaking beautiful?

"Good to see you too," I wasn't exactly sure if It was good to see him, Him being back in Norta meant much more distractions. Tiraxes has a different school year schedule then Norta does like any other state, so I was still in school while he'd been dismissed for summer. Cal wasn't one to respect that, what if he picked me up for early dismissal during Civics and I missed Calculus? I swear if he interfered with my perfect record I would eat him. "I bet you've got so many new stories to tell,"

"Not as many as you've got, man I miss high school," He said a dreamy look crossing his face, it seemed like just two weeks ago when we were sitting at his graduation then sending him off three states down for college.

"Why would you ever-"

" Amaranthus University (AU)is filled with people that are there on scholarships, so their ridiculously academically focused and you know I never really fit in with that crowd, you'd probably like it there, they've got an excellent science community and an astounding engineering community, which is pretty fun..." He said cutting himself off, "But it's still pretty lonely..."

"Oh" I didn't know what to say, Cal and I were never ones to talk about our feelings, we were half-brothers after all. We didn't even live together, sure when he was in high school we saw each other more, but he was a band kid and I an orchestra. He graduated as Section Leader of the Bassoon's, while I'd still been working my way up to concert master.

He looked like he wanted to say more, or maybe he wanted me to say more, maybe I wanted to say more. Maybe I should've? I would've opened my mouth to say more. "Oh" didn't seem to cover it but was gladly interrupted by another shrill of Mother's fake laughter, bringing us back to the present.

"Hope, they haven't started dinner without us," I said taking a step towards Cal and the door, he hadn't moved an inch. Standing perfectly still, something about my Mother made him uncomfortable, no unsteady, on high alert all the time, even as children at our birthday parties.

"Doesn't seem like something Mom would do, She loves family time." He said with a smirk, waiting for me to join him in the hall where we would venture down the stairs.

Cal may have been a bit taller than me but I didn't have to strain to catch up. I spent my whole life chasing after him and somehow didn't get completely left behind.

It didn't take long for us to find the stairs, our house was big but not as big as Mother wanted it. There they stood at the door of the just newly cleaned foyer. Father looked nice today, with his freshly trimmed beard and eyebrows. Cal and him must've planned this, matching sweater vest with a slightly different color scheme. He held something in hands, wrapped up nice and neat in a startling shade of red wrapping paper, a present, It wasn't too big but nicely sized.

Standing by his side stood his wife in a monotone shade of gray was Coriane Calore. Cal didn't take after her in body type but she did give him his soft innocent smile that was impossible to win an argument against. Everything about her seemed soft from her almost grey-blue eyes to her faint curves. Cal looked so delighted to see her his face lighting up in any way possible "Mom made Haggis!" He said with a smile.

I gave him a silent smile as we approached, noting the tin foil tray Coriane held with pride, she smiled at her boy. Her pride and joy."Cal helped," She said with a smile, beaming at her son. I've only heard rumors but apparently, she suffered many miscarriages before having Cal, no wonder she loved him so much or maybe that's just the way all parents should feel about their children. Everyone I met had different experiences.

Mother surveyed my appearance before Father closed me in for a hug, He was working on his weight trying to live a healthier life while trying to recover from his darker times. I knew he sometimes went back to them, they all did. Mother kept track of the rehab appointments he made along with Coriane's and Cal's therapist appointments. Even with him in Tiraxus he couldn't escape her prying eyes.

"How's life been treating you, Son? Your mother tells me your academic career is going great." He says finally releasing me.

"Not to mention he's nearly worked his way up to Concert Master" Mother pipes in proudly before I can open my mouth and speak for myself.

"Nearly" I coughed shyly, I loved playing, violin. But it was taking up one of my elective slots and there were other things I'd rather do like Desktop Publishing and maybe Psychology. Maybe after I achieved that she'd let my quit, besides Orchestra was something I could do outside of school.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you graduated early, with a full scholarship considering your grades." He said clapping me on the shoulder. Scholarship? it's not like we needed one Father is loaded. I'm guessing he only wanted it for bragging fuel considering Cal wasn't the best in the academic department.

"Who knows maybe you'll be in one of Junior's Class one day" He said playfully rolling his eyes at Cal. Tiberius had never been a fan of being called junior and neither had his mother so they substituted his name with Cal, but Father did let the name slip every now and again. Especially in front of Mother.

"Maybe," I said with a shrug, little did he know I had no aspirations of going anywhere near AU. Thomas and I had been talking about a college in Prairie, for years, they had an excellent Engineering And Psychology program for me, with an amazing band program for Thomas. Not to mention they only accepted people on scholarships, so no rich idiots anywhere in sight, not to mention that meant that Thomas' family could afford it, we finally found a way to stay together through college, Mom would approve of me getting into an elite college, whether I was following Thomas or not.

"Is dinner set, I don't want the haggis to grow cold," Coriane chirped from in front of me, pulling me back to the present. Oh yeah, dinner. I almost forgot

"Of course, I've prepared Stollen for desert," Mother says proudly rolling her eyes sizing up Coriane like a predator on prey. While Mom's opinion of Coriane was obvious, while mine were mixed. Our families intertwined history was complex and so long not even I fully understood it. All I knew was Mom caught a newly made father without his newly made wife in the worst possible time...

But that's a story for another time, now it was time for dinner I thought following the four people that impacted my life in more ways than one, into to the dining room.

Forgive me I’m new at this. But Stay tuned for more! (This exact A.U is also available on My Wattpad and AOW if they’re more assessable to you. Parts may or may not be uploaded on wattpad faster)

#red queen #mare barrow #maven calore #marven #calmare #care #victoria aveyard #tiberias calore #cal calore #fanfiction

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itsybitsylemonsqueezy · 8 years ago

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So I had the dream of the life I want for Jim and Harvey last night and I know Gordlock is not a very popular ship, so I don’t blame you if you don’t read this, but I LOVED it and needed to get it down before I forgot, so this is going here and you can feel free to ignore it.

But I love them and want them to be so fucking happy for once.

So, this would never happen, but I just wanted the excuse of Jim and Harvey living together because NOTHING would accelerate them faster than having to spend time with each other outside of work. So, like, I thought Jim's place is being repaired from Zsasz's visit, so he goes to live with Harvey for awhile, because Jim has 0 other friends, and like... he doesn't even ask because OF COURSE Harvey would take him in, no questions asked.

So, now, SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS. And Harvey like, offers him the bed but Jim is like already feeling all warm and uncomfortable from having feelings so he's just NO I WILL BE UNCOMFORTABLE ON THE COUCH THANK YOU DON'T YOU DARE DO ANYTHING MORE NICE FOR ME Because he needs to kinda settle about Harvey being not only his only friend, his best friend, and the person Jim automatically turns to and just... there's shit bubbling inside him that's threatening to surface so he can't handle ONE MORE nice thing coming from Harvey.

And Harvey, knowing Jim better than anyone, let's him be, like 'okay bro, whatever works for you' and goes to bed in his own bed, but always leaves the door to the bedroom ajar, in case Jim changes his mind, and also so Jim doesn't feel shut out. Harvey has to leave that corridor open, both physically and emotionally, because Jim will panic if he senses distance. So Harvey's just... giving him SO much rope here, he takes SUCH good care of Jim, ugh. And he plays it off, as always, like it's nothing for him, but inside, you know, every second is a heart attack because he HAS to be lowkey because Jim is GLASS. Like... for real, Jim is deeply fragile and breakable and Harvey is in the uncomfortable position of knowing that and knowing how to deal with it, like... Babs kinda knows how fragile Jim is, but she can't help him. Harvey can and he's... pretty much the only one because Jim is shit at letting people help him. But, you know, just another day in the life of managing Jim Gordon, Harvey takes another drink and carries on, so he's dealing pretty well.

So like... now they're seeing each other pretty much 24/7 and Jim's like... very relaxed and even happy and so it's FREAKING HIM OUT because OH GOD EXPERIENCING EMOTIONS. He's on this cusp of something and he can't find the edge of it and he doesn't know what's on the other side, and what bothers him most of all is that he DOESN'T feel scared. Like he just feels... really really good around Harvey, Harvey is so calming for him and even though he psychs himself out in those brief moments he's alone, as soon as Harvey says something Jim's just 'oh right, Harvey, my good friend Harvey, my Harvey...' and he seeps into chill again and it's REALLY weird for him because that NEVER happens... ever. So again, he feels on the precipice of something but he doesn't feel scared about it and it's just... really confusing for him.

Harvey, meanwhile, is being a fucking trooper managing Jim. Like, they'll sit up on the couch watching crap tv, drinking beers, but not too much, and always just before ten o'clock, right before it can become REALLY night and they can start tumbling into heavy shit, Harvey always goes "WELP I'M TIRED SEE YOU TOMORROW PARTNER" because he is NOT putting Jim or himself through that, no, no, absolutely not, nope. And Jim, being blind, usually doesn't notice that Harvey is very bluntly extricating himself and pulling away, he just thinks 'oh, okay friend, see you tomorrow!' But as this continues to be a thing, and strangely consistent, Jim starts to feel sad every time Harvey leaves and he starts trying to retain him, just talk a little bit longer, just be close a little bit longer. And of course, all of this is because Harvey's a lot more emotionally sensitive than Jim, so Harvey can see, even before Jim does, that Jim's about to do or say something he'll regret and Harvey stops him before he can. And it breaks Harvey's heart to leave him with that feeling Jim's struggling with unresolved but he just... he can't, he can't, because Harvey is TERRIFIED this will ruin their friendship and... like, that's fair, that's fair that Harvey is scared, especially since Harvey's in the position of managing BOTH of them most of the time. But Jim is fortunately ignorant of all of this, so when Harvey pats his shoulder to go to bed, Jim like, retains his hand or pulls him back for a second and he doesn't even know what he wants to say, he just doesn't want Harvey to go.

So he makes a big awkward show of saying good night and then he feels dumb and really frustrated with himself because he can't figure out what it is he wants to say. Words just... leave him, not that he has a clear picture of what he needs or wants, but he looks up at Harvey and just... words stop. And it becomes this ache in Jim, growing worse and worse every day, to the point that even work can't drown it out, it's still with him, especially directly around Harvey, it becomes really acute. And, for someone who's been in love before, twice, YOU'D THINK JIM WOULD KNOW WHAT THIS IS.

So, after like, weeks (and his flat is probably long done by now, he just hasn't told Harvey because he doesn't want to move out), he is ESPECIALLY bad at saying good night, like he sort of helplessly does everything he can think of to make Harvey stay and... this night, Jim feels so lonely he creeps into Harvey's bedroom because he can't help himself. And he DESPERATELY wants to get into bed with him and snuggle but like HOW DO YOU EVEN, HOW DO... HOW. So he tiptoes around to the side and starts to pull back the covers, hasn't put any of his weight on the bed yet, and he's just... kinda panicking because he's spooned women before, but how to do that with men? Especially Harvey who is bigger than him, and Jim gets caught up in worrying and forgets he was in the middle of a motion, and Harvey, finally, "Either get in or get out, you're letting all the cold air in."

And Jim starts, but then sheepishly climbs in after him because, again, all Harvey has to do is say ONE thing and Jim feels better, the just... level of acceptance coming off Harvey, JESUS. And Harvey obligingly moves over and lets Jim do whatever it is he wants to do. And Jim doesn't really say anything, he can't, and Harvey doesn't ask him to because that would be DEATH. But Harvey kinda scoots around, wondering what position Jim would find most comfortable, so he turns over on his back and they look at each other for a minute and Jim's eyes slowly lower and he brings his head down to Harvey's chest, scooting up under his arm and just kinda nestles there between his chest and armpit and Harvey wraps his arm around him and strokes his arm, reassuring him that he's there, that he's not going anywhere he just... let's Jim be small for a second. Because Jim is clearly after comfort and Harvey's totally cool with that, and Jim relaxes right away and lets out this breath and he's just... fine again, he's fine. And Jim kinda, twines his leg over Harvey's, just... presses up to him as close as he can get.

And Harvey's just 'This Is Fine, This Is Okay, I'm Fine, This Is Fine.' But Jim is clearly relaxed so LIKE FUCK Harvey's going to EVEN BREATHE, he's just... letting all of this happen and eventually they both fall asleep like that, and it's warm and good and everyone is... if not happy, secure.

Now, because I'm a fucking dick, morning wood is a thing. So, Harvey wakes up and he is NOT AT ALL surprised, but he can cover this, he's done it before, he can get out of this scot-free, not an issue. As long as he can push Jim out of bed before he notices, he's in the clear. But, the problem is, during the night, Jim has basically hitched his leg over his hip as he pressed further into Harvey, one of his arms splaying out to try to hug him back, so this is a very difficult position because if Jim moves the wrong way, he's gonna know. And Harvey is doing his utmost to stay still and think of the most unarousing things possible, again, he's gotten out of worse scrapes than this, he can manage, he can do this. And it's pretty much working UNTIL Jim wakes up.

Jim wakes up by nuzzling him and scritching at Harvey's chest, like he doesn't fully remember he got into bed with his best friend and DIDN'T disclose ANYTHING, is acting on pure instinct and it's just. HOLY FUCK JIM YOU NEED TO FIND YOUR WORDS. And Jim is also sprouting, especially what with the position he got himself in, he's half-straddling Harvey, like... of course you're hard Jim. He doesn't realize immediately, he kinda grumbles "Morning..." and then opens his eyes and THEN the panic sets in. And then Jim realizes he's kinda humping Harvey's thigh and he's so distraught he flings himself away like "OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN... I AM SO SORRY, I'LL JUST SEE MYSELF OUT" and he completely misses that Harvey is also hard and it's just... a mess xp

But actually, like, belatedly, like... SUPER belatedly Jim... DOES realize, it takes him A MILLION YEARS, much longer than it should, and part of it is his own embarrassment, which is fair, he's so distracted being ashamed of himself, he doesn't take in sensory details as quickly as he should. And he doesn't make it all the way out of the bed because Harvey's kinda desperate to make sure Jim doesn't beat himself up for this, which he KNOWS he will, so he like grabs him like 'No, no, hey, we're two adult guys, this happens, it's okay, don't be ashamed' Like he's NOT looking for anything here, he's just trying to ease the awkwardness, because he doesn't want Jim blushing and avoiding him all day, which Jim WOULD do. And it's around then, with Harvey still holding onto him, Jim still kinda on his lap, that the gears in Jim's mind finally produce an observation and Jim, again, just 'you... oh. OHHHH. ohhhhh.'

And Harvey kinda squirms because now HE'S embarrassed and he was trying SO HARD to avoid that and just... uggghhhhh. And now Harvey can see Jim's about to say something TERRIBLE, so Harvey just NOPE, "You know what, forget it, I'm taking a shower" and he dives out of there because NO NO NOPE NO NOT LIKE THIS, JIM IS NOT BREAKING MY HEART LIKE THIS.

And Jim is now cold in bed, alone, and he FINALLY, FINALLY FUCKING GETS IT. Like the sharp pain in his chest when Harvey leaves because Harvey is CLEARLY hurt now, Jim FINALLY fucking gets it and like... tears up for a second because it hurts so much, he realizes what just happened and ohhh... fuck. And Jim just... all he can think is how can I make it up to him, what can I do, fuck I love him so much, oh... wow, and I'm not even scared, this is new, I... wow, fuck.

So what Jim does is he goes on a jog, hoping the jog will get his erection to go down, it only SLIGHTLY helps xp But that's kinda intentional because, NOW THAT HE HAS A CLUE, he knows Harvey likes him all soft and pliable, so he puts on this hoodie and baggy sweats and a beanie and goes for a jog and on the way home picks up Harvey's favorite doughnuts and coffee and is like TRYING SO FUCKING HARD. And he sits down on the couch, twiddling his thumbs, anxious for Harvey to come out of the bedroom again so he can apologize properly and all of the other things he needs to say.

And Harvey comes out, hair still wet, dressed, but clearly haphazardly, because his nerves are a little shattered, he's not fully together. And, like, doesn't even look at Jim, he can't bear to, and he goes to get his hat like "Right, saddle up, gotta go to work." And Jim, biting his lip, big show of timidity is just "Or... we could have a late morning?" "Oh yeah, how's that?" "Well, I... thought maybe you would want to..." and he kinda spreads his legs, revealing he's still hard and just kinda looks up at Harvey helplessly and Harvey deigns to look at him and... oh god no, not this, not Jim looking at him this way.

And Harvey puts his hat back down and tries to collect himself to turn Jim down, because this is the kiss of death, and he starts, "Jim..." And Jim just says, "Please. Harvey... Harvey, please." and he CLEARLY means it, like holding nothing back, he's... wow, god. And Harvey can't fight that, he can't, he knows this is a fool's errand, but he goes to him because he can't fucking help himself anymore, he tried for so long to tow the line of friendship, but he can't, not when Jim... not this.

And Harvey stands in front of him and crouches and Jim pulls at him and kisses him. Even though he made an explicitly sexual invitation, he doesn't even care if Harvey touches him that way, he just needs Harvey to know he loves and wants him and this is the best he can do. And Harvey WAS NOT expecting that, he didn't think Jim would go that far. And he STILL knows he's a fool for trusting Jim on this, but every second, Jim's proving he sincerely wants this, wants him, and it's not bullshit or confusion, but real and true. Harvey can't get over that fear, because he's seen Jim in relationships and he knows how Jim is with feelings, but he's not consciously afraid right now because Jim's dragging his hands to his thighs and encouraging him and whimpering and begging and fuck Jim keeps kissing him...

And at some point Harvey makes a snide remark like "Wish I hadn't had that wank in the shower now" and Jim LAUGHS and it's good and comfortable and like, they're both shaking piles of nerves, but they'll get through it, they'll be okay, this feels okay. And Harvey finally starts stroking him and Jim writhes and keeps hitting his head on the back of the couch and starts saying "I... I lo-" and Harvey IMMEDIATELY puts a hand on his mouth because NOPE. Even though, most terrifying of all, Jim MIGHT just mean it, Harvey CANNOT HEAR THAT RIGHT NOW. And Jim looks at him, perplexed, and Harvey just shakes his head, because he can't let himself believe Jim means it yet. But Jim can't look away after that and kisses Harvey's palm helplessly, panting, and they lock eyes as Jim comes and... phewwwwww... oh boy.

And Jim legitimately shakes after coming, like, aftershocks, the whole deal, and Harvey sits down next to him and gathers him into his arms, after grabbing some kleenex, and Jim is just whimpery and moany and snuggles into him and uggghhhhhhh. And Jim, being an idiot, when he gets his breath back, he tries to say it again "I lov-" "DON'T" "-you"

And Harvey just... he's not mad but he did NOT want to hear that and he sighs and gets up and Jim's all confused, because it's true and he wants Harvey to know and he doesn't get why Harvey isn't accepting this. Harvey walks back to the kitchen and finally has some of the coffee Jim brought and Jim follows him, legs still a little shakey, like "Why don't you want me to say that?" And Harvey REALLY doesn't want to talk about it, but Jim eventually drags it out "Because you don't mean it." And Jim does those stupid hurt puppydog eyes, "Yes I do!" "No, Jim, Jim... please, I love you. Okay? You know that, you've known that... for awhile. Don't do this to me, okay? I'm begging you." "But what if I did mean it?" Jim like persists, because HE DOES for once in his life, mean it, or believes he does and he REALLY wants to fucking prove it.

And I think Jim does mean it, I think it is real, just the trouble is Jim isn't one to know his own feelings reliably and Harvey unfortunately was THERE for all the times Jim needed to be picked back up after he fucked up like that and... Harvey can't be the one to pick him up if Jim fucks THIS up.

And it's just... Harvey's trying so hard to do what's best for both of them and... this is the point where Jim has to manage himself now because Harvey can't do it for him anymore, not in this relationship. But Jim, like, by luck and circumstance, manages to give Harvey enough to give him a trial run, to let Jim try. And Harvey, like... says it like he's signing his own death warrant because, let's be real, if this ends? It WILL kill him. But Harvey, as ever, just... accepts, because he has to. And they spend the next two hours blowing each other because Jim ENTHUSIASTICALLY wants to prove himself.

EVENTUALLY, like, PAST NOON, they wander into the GCPD and Harvey has a hitch in his step because Jim made him come so many times in succession that he's actually kinda sore. And Jim's lips are SWOLLEN and RED xp

And some of the old cops, who have known Harvey since he started here, they KNOW that twinkle in Harvey's eye so they call him out like "Hey Bullock! Heard you didn't come home last night!"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"So who's the knew dame, huh?"

Fortunately NO ONE is looking at Jim during this as Jim tries to hide his face behind the glass of water he's drinking.

"A gentleman never tells, boys!"

"Bullshit Bullock! C'mon, we're taking bets here!"

"Sorry boys, you'll just have to wait for the engagement announcement." And Jim CHOKES and Harvey can't help winking at him. So they go up to hide in the captain's office and just... Harvey doesn't even have to START throwing around innuendo, Jim jumps at the SLIGHTEST thing. Like, people come pestering, trying to get a good guess at who Harvey's new 'squeeze' is and Jim turns BRIGHT red and Harvey makes some comment about being 'tight-lipped' and that's not even an innuendo but Jim is in the corner LOSING it, and Harvey was gonna be fine, but catches sight of Jim and just CAN'T because Jim is SO EASY to embarrass XDDDDD

And Harvey LEGITIMATELY has to chew him out because JIM if you want the greater part of the GCPD not to catch on YOU NEED TO GET BETTER AT LYING. You gotta react to me the way you ALWAYS react to me, rolling your eyes and insulting me COME ON. And Jim isn't even that sorry he keeps losing it because he's so happy. And basically they're dumb happy babies who are not gonna last a week trying to keep this quiet. And it's not like Harvey's not TRYING, he is doing his BEST, his partner is just a blushing flower. At one point Jim has the actual thought "I'm Harvey Bullock's new squeeze" and has to SIT OUT the rest of the day XDDDDD

@amaranthineexcuse helping: “I need just one of them to stop and say "oh my god you're fucking Harvey Bullock" outloud and to Jim's face. Because that's a goddamn nightmare. And its beautiful. And I need my baby to be happy for once.”

I COULD DIE HAPPY. And I feel like, if someone actually had the courage to do that, I feel like Jim would just say "...yes" he'd be just STRAIGHT OUT OF REACTIONS And somewhere Harvey like... tears up and has to turn away for a second because JIM SELF-ACTUALIZING OH MY GOD HE NEVER THOUGHT HE'D SEE IT.

And there was also going to be a moment in there, again, because I’m a dick, when Harvey is masturbating at night and Jim realizes and is SO fucking turned on and like... given Harvey CONTINUES to leave the door open, one can easily claim he wanted Jim to know, but Jim just feels like a dirty voyeur, but also can't quite regret and... ugggghhhh, all the good guilty pleasures xp

So just... all my good Gordlock thoughts, I love them so much, and it would be SO FUCKING EASY IF JIM DIDN’T CONSISTENTLY MAKE IT SO FUCKING HARD.

#Gordlock #looong post #WELL worth reading if you will spare me the time #crazy Gordlock wishes and headcanons #Ugh #this made me so happy #Jim/Harvey #Gotham #I love them... so so fucking much

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