#and I also am fully capable and have and will continue to unfollow people who post a lot of untagged news content

[raskies456]

I am once again asking yall to consider content tagging posts that discuss current distressing events

am I saying this bc I saw a million untagged posts about trump today? yes. but it’s also a good thing to do in general

[selfshipprompts]

hello, it has been a while ☆

to address the obvious; this blog has been inactive for over a year. im not going to apologise for this as ive had a lot going on, not to get too personal, but i lost a close family member and im currently in the middle of moving country so i wont be fully active again for some time.

however, i did enjoy running this blog, so i will try to give time to you guys from time to time. this also applies to my sister blog if you're interested in writing anonymous letters to your beloved(s).

some more details below. take care ♡

im going to change how i run this blog a little bit, the main difference being that i no longer have the energy to manage who follows and interacts. the blog is nearing 2.5k followers, and as a single force, i personally find it far too stressful to manage a DNI.

this blog will continue to be void of all dubious content, but i cannot and will not tell you what you can or cannot be into. what strangers are doing simply isnt my concern; i am here to provide imagines, advice, and anything else within my capabilities.

i know some people are uncomfortable with spaces that do not strictly monitor this, but my mental wellbeing is always my first priority.

if these changes disappoint you, or if its not something you are interested in, you're more than welcome to unfollow, block, etc. i wont take it personally, i am an anonymous stranger.

as always, your f/os love you all. ♡

[sumptuoushstyles-blog]

Y/N visits Harry on tour, and Harry didn’t expect it.

or, Y/N waits for Harry to come to his dressing room when she catches him in the act. The act of cheating, that is. 

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Warnings: cheating, angst (again sorry)

Word Count: 2.3k, it’s a long one, folks

When your relationship with Harry ended, you don’t think you have ever felt a pain like that in your life. Which confuses you, because when you told your mom about it ending after all your crying stopped, she asked you how you felt, and the only response you could think of was “numb.”

How could you feel so numb, but also be in the worst pain of your life?

The way things ended weren’t easy. It broke you in ways that you never thought you could be broken. Not for a second did you think he was capable of doing what he did to you.

When it happened, you were in a cheerful mood just a couple seconds prior, giddy with excitement at the thought of surprising Harry after you said you couldn’t make it to his last few shows. You were always able to make it, but you just wanted to surprise him. Jeff was in on it, since he knows Harry’s schedule best, (other than Harry himself).

You were sitting on the couch in his dressing room, wearing one of his tour shirts with your phone out, pressing record to catch his reaction so you could post it to your instagram later. As his footsteps started getting closer, you heard what sounded like more than one pair of footsteps. You automatically thought it was Jeff just talking to him about some end of the tour stuff, but you didn’t hear his voice.

You start to smile as you hear the door open, but as soon as you see him, it’s gone. Not only is Harry there, but so is a girl. There would be nothing wrong with that if his lips weren’t on hers, and if his hands weren’t on her ass, and if her hands weren’t knotted up in his hair.

He shuts the door with his foot, and as he opens his eyes to start getting undressed, he notices you. You’re not crying, but he knows your pissed.

“Fuck.” he says, and the girl he’s with turns around and gasps, putting her head down in shame and in embarrassment. 

“Y/N I could explain please jus-” he gets cut off by you ending your recording and laughing bitterly.

“Don’t worry about it. We’re done, Harry.” you spoke, rushing past him nudging his shoulder on the way out as you slam the door behind you.

You haven’t seen Harry in months. You have broken up with people and you’ve been broken up with in the past, sure. But this heartbreak hurt 10 times more when it came to Harry and what he did.

After you flew home, you had your best friend come and help you take all of your stuff out from the apartment, and she helped you bring it to your mom’s house, you wanting to be in the comfort of her.

You have barely left the house since that moment, not wanting to be caught with your almost permanent red brimmed eyes, and you didn’t want to catch a magazine with Harry’s face on it either. You blocked his number, unfollowed all his social media, and deleted everything on your phone that had to do with him.

The same best friend that had helped you get all your stuff, was also the one that brought you back out into the world again for a night. Your mom has been nothing but supportive, but she also wanted you to start getting better, and you staying inside all the time did nothing for you.

Also wanting to give your mom some of her space back, you reluctantly agreed. You decided to go to a club, and you were wearing your best outfit, something comfortable to dance in, but also something that you felt sexy in. With your makeup looking the best it’s been in awhile now, and your hair up in a ponytail, you looked good and felt good. Nothing could bring your attitude down.

You and your best friend finally got to the club, and immediately went to the bar for some shots. Feeling the burn down your throat down to your stomach, you already felt better than just sitting in your bed of your old bedroom.

You were feeling good until you were dancing with a random attractive guy. Your back was to him and his chest was against you, hands on your waist. You felt confident, beautiful even, something you haven’t felt in months.

You broke away from the attractive man, Ryan was his name. Or was it Jason? The shots you took were starting to have an effect on you, so you pulled away and told him you were going to find your friend and get some water, not fully ready to go home with anybody anyways.

As you’re approaching the bar, you see your friend pushing against the chest of some guy, and you see her lips moving as if she’s yelling. You can’t really get a good look on the guy that she is yelling at, but regardless you rushed over and took her hands away, not wanting her to cause any trouble. That was until you looked up to see who the guy was.

Your eyes locked with his, your heart started racing and your stomach clenched. You felt the tears behind your eyes within seconds. You glared at him, and brushed passed him. Just as you did the last time you saw him, nudging his shoulder to get around him.

You got out of the club and started taking deep breaths, trying to regulate your breathing. You walk in the opposite direction of the club, wanting as much space as possible. You lean against a wall, head tilted back and your eyes closed, and that’s when you hear the footsteps, and soon his voice.

“Y/N, please, I just wanna talk t’yeh. Will yeh at least give me that much?” He pleads with you. You laugh at him, lifting yourself up from the wall and opening your eyes to glare at him.

“Give you that much? Really? I gave you everything. I’m not going to apologize for not listening to your petty excuses, Harry.” You shout at him, not caring for who’s listening or not.

“Y/N, yeh need to hear me out. I was upset that yeh weren’t comin’ to the shows, and I did it without thinkin’. It was one time! I swear.” He tries reasoning with you, but you don’t want to listen.

“Pathetic.” you mutter, you feel the tear roll down your cheek. He stares at you, mouth opening and closing every few seconds, knowing what he wants to say but is too afraid to say it.

“Yeh didn’t even cry,” he murmurs, “yeh jus walked right passed me, barely bat an eye. Was almost like yeh didn’t even care.” You’re looking at him now, in shock and in disbelief.

“I didn’t? Interesting.” You tell him, sarcasm behind your words.

“Don’t start with that.” He begins, but you’re already talking.

“No! Lets. Because apparently I didn’t cry for you. Would you like to know the truth?” You ask him kindly, him only nodding in response, scared as to what you’re going to say.

“You’re right, I didn’t cry.” You begin, him opening his mouth to say something. But you continued, still in that sweet voice you were using. “I didn’t cry in front of you. I didn’t cry when I went to get my stuff from the room where your band was at, or when I hugged them goodbye. I didn’t cry when I got in the cab to get to the hotel room, or when I was flying back to London. Nope! Didn’t cry then.” you said. Him still staring at you, waiting for you to continue. “Wanna know when I did cry though?” you asked again, only getting his stare again.

“I fucking cried my eyes out when I got back to our shared flat.” You told him, voice shaking slightly. “I cried. My god did I cry for you. I cried so hard that when I called my mom, she thought someone died. I had to go back to an apartment that was once filled with so much love, and all I felt in me was hatred and sadness. I had to clean out that same apartment, rip out any memories I had from that town, from that flat, from you.” You shouted, taking a breath to continue.

“Did you forget that I recorded your reaction to me surprising you? Because I didn’t. Rewatched it 100 times over to make sure that it was real, that the person who claimed to be so devoted to me and loved me more than anything was cheating on me. Do not say I didn’t care, Harry. Leaving you was the second hardest thing I had to do in my life!” you yelled at him, fully sobbing now, but keeping your voice strong.

He still hasn’t said anything, but you could see the tears in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks underneath the street light. “Since that was the second hardest, I’m sure you want to know what the first hardest was, right?” You questioned him yet again, getting closer to him.

“Trying to get over you is number 1. And as you could tell, I’m not in that club right now because I’m still hurting!” You continue, pressing your fingers into his chest, wanting to hurt him just a little.”Making eye contact with you was a huge mistake because it brings back everything we ever were. It brings back how stupid I was to think that you were perfect and wouldn’t hurt a fly. But here I am, hurt, because you decided that she was what you wanted!” You exclaimed, voice cracking, stepping away from him, not being able to be strong anymore.

“Love, I’m so sorry I-” he tried speaking, but you don’t want to let him. You’re too worked up over months of pain to just let him try and talk his way out of this.

“No, you don’t get to do that.” You begin to tell him, shaking your head in denial. “You can’t call me love and then apologize and expect me to fall right back into you. Which is weird, because I thought as soon as I would hear your voice again I would run into your arms.” You laugh, bringing your hand up to your under eyes to wipe whatever makeup is running.

You start speaking again, softly this time, realizing that there’s no point in yelling.

“Tonight was the first night in a while that I felt confident. I felt pretty. I got attention from a guy who I’m sure that if I wasn’t so broken from you, I would be going home with right now.” You pause, taking a breath as you stare him in the eyes.

“You took that away from me. Made me believe there was something wrong with me because you wanted someone else.” You tell him, confessing how you felt about your own self. You’re not looking at him anymore. Your head is hung low and your arms are crossed over your chest. He’s shocked and mad at himself, since you were always so confident when you guys were dating, even before hand. He runs a hand through his hair before he starts talking.

“I don’t expect what I’m about to say to change anything. But when I mean it was that one time, it was that one time. It was that one kiss that I will regret for the rest of m’life, because yeh were the best thing to ever happen t’me.” He breathes out, choking back a sob as he rubs his eyes. “I wanted you everyday for the rest of m’life, I still want you for the rest of m’life. But I know that I have a lot of making up to do if yeh ever give me that chance. I love yeh, I always will.” He tells you, fully crying now.

You almost want to go up and give him a hug, run your hands through his hair, but you know better.

“You broke my trust, Harry.”

“I know.” He nods shamefully. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do t’gain it all back though, I want yeh t’know that.” He tells you, looking at you again.

You think to yourself for a moment and turn yourself away from him, so your back is facing him. The silence overcomes the both of you, the only sounds echoing from the music in the club.

“Would you promise me a future?” You wonder aloud, knowing the answer, but wanting to hear him say it.

“Of course! Yeh kidding me? I, uh, actually bought the ring already.” He tugs on his hair again. You spin yourself around to face him again, “What?” you ask him, needing it to be repeated.

He chuckles softly, shrugging his shoulders with his head hung low, but you’re still staring him down. “I bought yeh a ring, love. Half of the reason I was so upset. Was goin’ to propose t’yeh at that gazebo in the park? The 10 minute walk from the arena?” He tells you, trying to see if you remember. You nod your head slowly. Still in disbelief.

“I know how much yeh loved that park from the One Direction days. Was going to hang lights and make it look all pretty, then ask you in the gazebo. Fucked it all up now, didn’t I?” He laughs bitterly, finally looking up to meet your eyes.

The words flowed from your mouth before your brain could even process them.

“Make it up to me, Harry. Please, gain my trust back.”

You walk up to him, and hug him, quickly feeling his arms wrapped around you, reminiscing to how it used to feel, and how things are so different now.  

A/N: hi! hope you all like this one! thinking about making a part two of this if it gets enough notes, which is why I didn’t really make this a cliff hanger but it could also be built off of?? idk!! let me know what you guys think :’) thank you for reading!

[johnhardinsawyer]

Feeling All the Feels

John Sawyer

Bedford Presbyterian Church

7 / 25 / 21

Ephesians 3:14-21

John 6:1-14

“Feeling All the Feels”

(Rooted and Grounded with All the ‘Fulls’)

If you have watched the Olympics at all over the past however-many years, you probably know that at this very moment, there is likely some producer or editor over at NBC Sports who is putting the finishing touches on a video that highlights a member of the US Olympic Team.  Maybe you have seen one or more of these videos, which are scientifically engineered to give you “all the feels,” as some folks say.  There are images of the athlete’s hometown, perhaps a school ballfield or track or pool where the athlete learned to go so fast, perhaps there’s the story of a broken home or someone overcoming the odds and finally making it to the Olympics.  Whether the video is highlighting a superstar like Simone Biles, or some up-and-coming Olympic badminton player, if you watch one of these videos, you’d better have some tissues handy and the ability to convincingly say, “What?  I’m not crying.  You’re crying.”

Just about all of us have had those moments when we feel all the feels – all of the heightened emotions of love and pride and joy.  Our child does something wonderful, we feel loved and accepted, we see something beautiful in nature, we see the beauty of another human being accomplishing something great, we have a moment of national or community pride, we have a moment of sheer grace and we “feel all the feels.”  We are amazed and overwhelmed.  We can’t stop the good goosebumps, we can’t hold back the tears, we can’t find the words to say in the moment.  We just “feel all the feels” – all of the feelings at once.

Today’s reading from the letter to the Ephesians wants us to feel all of the feels and to be overwhelmed by the love of God.  

This week, we are continuing our summertime study of Ephesians and reminding ourselves about some of the basic principles of being part of the Body of Christ, the church.  You might remember a few weeks ago, when we talked about having a new identity in Christ Jesus and how last week we talked about how this new identity brings us together, even with those people who are far off from us.  You also might remember that the city of Ephesus was a bustling seaport that was a melting pot of cultures and religions and that the people who were part of the early church in Ephesus were just a small religious minority – barely a blip in the big city.  

The author of today’s reading, who goes by the name “Paul,”[1] reminds the Ephesians that even though there are marvelous real-life and eternal-life benefits to following Jesus, in truth, following Jesus can lead to persecution and imprisonment, even death.  Just prior to today’s reading, we find Paul telling his readers that he is “a prisoner for Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 3:1)  His charge?  Bringing the good news of Jesus Christ to the Gentiles and stirring up trouble in the process, and getting thrown in jail.  You might remember from last week that many people thought that those who followed Jesus – a Palestinian Jew – had to be Jewish.  So, whenever Paul (and those who traveled with him and for him) arrived in one town or another and went to teach in a Jewish synagogue that Jesus was the Messiah, it got the Jewish people riled up and they would call the local authorities and there was always trouble.  At one point, Paul was accused of “turning the world upside down,” (Acts 17:6) – upending the status quo, and upsetting a lot of people who didn’t see things the way that the Holy Spirit was leading Paul to see things, namely that the good news of Jesus Christ was for allpeople – Jew and non-Jew alike.  

Now, this new way of seeing God at work in the lives of all people instead of just some people was good news to the little church in Ephesus and it is good news to those of us who hear these words, today.  But I can’t help imagining that the sufferings of Paul – his multiple times in jail and being beaten and mistreated by those in power – would have been concerning for the church in Ephesus.  I mean, how would you feel if the person who first taught you about the love of Jesus – maybe a grandparent, or parent, or a pastor, or Sunday School teacher – sent you a letter from jail, saying, “Well, I love Jesus and now I’m in jail”?  Not only might you feel terrible for that person, but you might start questioning whether such a sacrifice was worth it or not.  

And so, right before today’s reading begins, we find Paul saying, “Yes.  It is worth it, because you who are reading this letter are worth it.”[2]  “So don’t let my present trouble on your behalf get you down.  Be proud!”[3]  “Be proud,” Paul is saying, “because I am doing this so that you may catch a glimpse of the love that God has for you through the love that I have for you.  I want it to somehow sink into your minds and hearts just how much God loves you.  When it comes to the love of God, I want you to ‘feel all of the feels.’  I want you to know the immeasurable and incomparable love of God.”

This is what Paul is praying for – as he kneels down in his prison cell – that the people he loves will know just how much they are loved and that they will feel this love at the heart of who they are.  As we read earlier, “I pray that, according to the powerful riches of God’s glory, God may grant that your inner being would be strengthened with the strength that comes from the Holy Spirit.”[4] (Ephesians 3:16)

Paul knows that the church might feel that it has very little power and influence in the world.  How could they do anything for God with so little?  It’s kind of interesting that even though we live in a nation in which the church has had – and continues to have tremendous influence – we still wonder a similar thing.  How could we do anything for God?  If we even tried, we might lose whatever power or influence we have.  We might end up being persecuted like our spiritual ancestors, the Ephesians, or worse:  someone might unfriend or unfollow us.  Many of the Ephesians have been abandoned by their families for following Jesus.  The locals look down their noses at these so-called “Christians.”  The Roman empire has been known to arrest and persecute these Jesus-followers.  And yet, the Holy Spirit is capable of granting them – as well as you and me – an inner strength, not just to survive, but to be faithful.  When John Calvin wrote about this passage almost 500 years ago, he was writing from an outnumbered and persecuted place, not unlike the Ephesians.  Calvin wrote,

The prayer of Paul, that the saints may be strengthened, does not mean that they may be eminent and flourishing in the world, but that, with respect to the kingdom of God, their minds may be made strong by Divine power.[5]

“Look,” Calvin  and Paul are saying, “you might not be the wealthiest or the most powerful person.  You might not be a captain of industry, or a darling of the Washington lobbyists.  You might not be building your own rocket to fly into space, or have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  But God grants you and I the inner-fortitude to live the life God is calling us to live.  This is a different way of life from the life the world has given you or what you may selfishly want for yourself.  With Christ dwelling in your heart – ruling your heart – you and I are guided by a different set of priorities and expectations – rooted and grounded in the selfless and sacrificial love of Jesus.”

Friends, the love of God is the fertile soil in which we are planted and from which we are nourished so that we can bear fruit.  Being “rooted and grounded” in love means that you and I have “taken root and have been fixed firmly”[6] in God’s love to the degree “that nothing will be able to shake us”[7] and we will continue to bear the fruit of God’s grace, no matter what hardships may come our way.  

And so Paul prays in his prison cell that the church at Ephesus and all those who will ever read this letter (including you and me) may – no matter what hardships come – be granted the power to comprehend “what is the breadth and length and height and depth” (3:18) of the love of Christ.  Just as an aside, when St. Augustine wrote about this passage, he said that the breadth and length and height and depth formed the shape of the cross of Jesus.[8]  But really what Paul means, here, is that the breadth and length and height and depth of Christ’s love is so great that no one can fully comprehend it – no one except the saints in heaven who see God face to face.  

The real blessing that I see, here, is that even if we cannot fully comprehend the love of God in all its fullness, God is always granting us glimpses of amazing grace and using these glimpses – through whatever meager gifts we offer – to build up the kingdom of God.  As Paul writes, “the One at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine. . .”  (3:20)

I don’t know how all of this makes you feel.  Maybe, like me, there are times when you find yourself wondering if you can do anything right – that the Olympic highlight reel of your life would show more failure and struggle than triumph.  And you feel that the only tears you might shed while watching it are because it could be so much better than it actually is.  I am comforted, though, that God is able to take whatever little gift you and I have to give – five loaves and two fish, a quiet moment of prayer, a small word of encouragement, a song that we carry in our hearts, the gift of patience, the gift of our presence, the gift of kindness, the gift of peace – that God takes these small gifts and uses them to reveal just how great God’s love is.  

God’s grace is worth it – especially to those who receive God’s gift through us.  And maybe, if we can see and know that what little we have to offer is one small, but essential, part of the breadth and length and height and depth of God’s immeasurable grace, maybe we can feel all of the feels of the fullness of God’s love.  

Friends, may you be strengthened in your heart and mind and soul with the fulness of God’s strength and love.  

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

-----------

[1] The letter was likely written by an associate of Paul – one of his followers.  

[2] Paraphrased, JHS – Ephesians 3:1-12.

[3] Eugene Peterson, The Message:  Numbered Edition (Colorado Springs:  NAV Press, 2002) 1614.  Ephesians 3:13.

[4] Paraphrased, JHS.

[5] John Calvin, Calvin’s Commentaries – Vol. XXI (Grand Rapids:  Baker Books, 2009) 261.

[6] Walter Bauer, A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (Chicago:  University of Chicago Press, 1979) 736.

[7] Calvin, 263.

[8] Calvin, 263.

[wereikonics]

iKON's MAKNAE: JUNG CHANWOO  Appreciation thread

@/bianxstan on Twitter -  8:33 PM - 26 Dec 2018

I just want to warn those who are reading this. If you're an OT6 fan, pls feel free to unfollow me and pls do not interact w/ anything related to this thread i.e. don't reply and don't quote RT. We don't need that negativity.

The world is already cruel enough for all of us. Spare us the dramatics. I am tired of defending #Chanwoo from all of you. Though I'm tired of it, pls know that I won't stop doing it. So please allow me to spread love to others without your negativity tainting it. Here we go.

~

When M&M happened, I had no doubt in my mind that Chanwoo will be iKON's 7th member. I was as sure of it as I was that all OT6 will be in iKON. There was something abt him that captivated me. He wasn't the most talented or the most eye-catching. He wasn't even the most talkative.

~

However, Jung Chanwoo was the only person who was introduced in the show that, imho, was considerate towards what OT6 was going through. He realized that he's piercing through a bond that's so strong that his introduction to the group would not be received well and so he waited.

Photo Caption: (Screenshots from Mix and Match)

CHAN WOO only smiles, perplexed

B.I. - CHAN WOO, what are your thoughts on this?

Chanwoo - I like the song

~

From the very beginning, Chanwoo has always been the kind of person who refuses to be a burden. He wants to stand with his own two feet. He refuses to be acknowledged just because Hanbin was a great leader.

Photo Caption:  (Screenshots from Mix and Match)

Pictures of Chanwoo wiping away tears in the practice room

~

I love Chanwoo because he's always been self-aware of his capabilities and his position in the group. When faced with frustrations of things not going well, he recognizes the fact that compared to the others, he is lacking. He did not hide. He did not cower.

Photo Caption:  (Screenshots from Mix and Match)

Chanwoo: 

To be honest, I’m quite disappointed

about the fact that I’m not good.

and that I’m a burden.

I know I can do this but I’m not doing as well as I thought.

~

What he did was he stayed behind in the practice room to catch up to the groupmates he's pulling behind. His sense of self-accomplishment was strong enough to push him to do well and to prevent himself from lingering at the bottom line.

Photo Caption:  (Screenshots from Mix and Match)

Chanwoo: They said it would be a very difficult journey

and told me to brace myself.

So I’m not gonna give up even if it becomes really hard.

~

One of the reasons why Chanwoo blended in so well at that time was because Chanwoo, who was an outsider, already shared the same fierce determination and thirst for improvement that the OT6 was identified with.

Photo Caption:  (Screenshots from Mix and Match)

Chanwoo: I’m so disappointed.

Chanwoo: I don’t want him to think I’m not good enough.

Picture of a frosted glass door with the word ‘STUDIO’ in unfrosted glass

Picture of a paper that reads DUFFY LYRICS - “Mercy” along with the lyrics

Narrator: Chanwoo is practicing alone till late at night. 

He worked so hard to be acknowledged for his effort. He finally did in EP 6. But what squeezed my heart about that episode was the fact that Chanwoo shed tears because despite his efforts up to that point, he can't be fully happy while taking YOYO's spot.

~

He wasn't even at the bottom three at that time & yet he felt so bad taking a spot from the OT6. I realized at the end that he must have felt guilty since he'd always felt incapable. He must've thought that despite his efforts, someone else still deserves it more than he did.

~

At that moment, I thought to myself: "If there is anyone that should be with the OT6, it'll be Chanwoo." Because this kid has enough heart and empathy to realize that his success could be someone's failure in OT6. 

~

To me, a person w/ the kind of attitude to set aside self-greed to feel for those around him will seamlessly mold himself in the tenacious wall that OT6 have built around themselves. Because OT6 reached that far by thinking of the well-being of their members than themselves.

~

However, his anxiety and worry continue even after debut. After all, it can't be denied that their debut in 2015 means that Chanwoo only had over a year of professional training. He only had abt year to completely blend himself in the team.

Photo Caption: 

Chanwoo reading a letter onstage during their Japan Tour

“will I be able to fit in?” “Won’t I just be a burden to them?”

“will the fans acknowledge me?” “Everyday I was feeling anxious and worried”

“And I promised myself, I have to debut in iKON and show them”

“my cool side to repay them”

~

People don't realize that #CHANWOO has YEARS to catch up to when it comes to training. If you're a true iKONIC, you should've realized that Chanwoo was able to improve this much despite the huge time differential of training compared to others.

Photo Caption: Behind the Scenes video during iKON’s Japan tour 2018 

B.I. instructs Chanwoo and helps him practice dancing one on one in preparation for their upcoming performances. Various iKON members can be seen resting in different places around the room. 

B.I. - Let’s do it more seriously.

B.I - One more time.

B.I - One more time.

Picture of Chanwoo sitting on the floor, his hair drenched in sweat.

B.I - You turn your arm like this here. 

~

Do you guys ever think about how much he had to work harder to not be the black hole in iKON? Do you ever think about the humiliation and disappointment he must have felt each time he practice one-on-one with Hanbin?

Photo Caption: Behind the Scenes video during iKON’s Japan tour 2018

Close Up of Chanwoo as he talks in iKON’s temporary practice area, his hair drenched in sweat.

CW: I’m so tired that I can’t talk...

CW: We checked all the flow lines and then we checked the dance matching along with the music. 

CW: As you can see, we are practicing one by one with B.I.

CW: It’s also like this for around a month in Korea. 

~

Each session must've felt like a harsh slap of realization of what level his skills are compared to the others. This was taken just a year ago. Many would think that a debuted idol wouldn't work this hard. But Chanwoo isn't like that. He knows his goals & he WILL pursue them.

Photo Caption:  Behind the Scenes video during iKON’s Japan tour 2018 

Close Up of Chanwoo as he talks in iKON’s temporary practice area, his hair drenched in sweat.

CW: There is no shyness

CW: Even though I am embarrassed, but if I don’t work hard we can’t do it. 

CW: I’m thankful for B.I-hyung who is monitoring closely.

CW: I’ll work hard.

~

I've said this before. I hate people who count lines per member. Line allocation will never equate to song quality. Hanbin giving lines not suited to Chanwoo's skills will only be detrimental to him. But does Chanwoo deliver? YES HE DOES!

Tweet Citation and Photo Caption:

The utilization of the colourful vocal tones of the members allows a portrayal of different kinds of heartache. #CHANWOO didn’t get a ton of lines but I’m not disappointed. Line distribution is about how you deliver those lines. Chanwoo delivered a tenfold of emotions. #iKON

~

The way #CHANWOO opened the song with his low melancholic tone just hits you straight to the heart. It wasn’t extravagant; it was impactful. It was subdued, almost too passively, but that’s what one goes through during a break up. You can’t do anything but accept it.

~

At the bridge, when all the instrumentals were stripped down to almost nothing, I cried bec of the weight of emotions delivered within those two lines. #Chanwoo ’s part was the culmination of all the emotions depicted in this song’s narrative. His voice is just perfect for that.

Can also be found in ‘Goodbye Road’ Song Analysis Thread:

https://wereikonics.tumblr.com/post/184634621843/goodbye-road-song-analysis

I want people to realize that #Chanwoo was able to perform this well because he did not sit on his ass all day long playing games. Nobody else knows more than Chanwoo himself how much he is lacking compared to the others. We all have only seen a glimpse of his talents.

~

I want to remind you that this year's releases were mostly written in 2015. We have yet to fully taste what these boys have to offer years after 2015. Don't get stuck on what could've been. It's been 4 years since the show.

~

Ask yourselves this: in any of iKON's dance practice videos, was there ever a moment when Chanwoo was a blackhole? As a matter of fact, Jinhwan makes more mistakes on choreo than Chanwoo ever did. This boy did not get on stage despite his injuries just for you to discredit him.

~

This boy did not get into iKON because of pity. He didn't get on that stage because he was forced to. He worked his ass off day in and day out knowing that his lack of skills could be harmful for the rest of them. But even when that fear lingers, he didn't let it foster.

~

Though Chanwoo has this fear, he would never beg for lines from Hanbin. Hanbin allows this because this is the only way Chanwoo will truly improve and genuinely feel accomplished. There is no shortcut to success.

Photo Caption: iKON on Weekly Idol

Chanwoo is speaking to Hanbin while they are holding hands

CW: This is what I want to say.

CW: I’m not good which is why I have a small part.

Yunhyeong points toward Hanbin as he looks to Chanwoo

Yunhyeong: Tell him now that you want bigger parts

CW: I’ll work harder

~

So before you question Chanwoo's work etiquette, I want you to think about the position you're in. Because at this moment, as you write those comments discrediting Chanwoo's hard work, it isn't his ass sat on a chair with your face buried in front of a computer.

~   

I'm ending this thread with Chanwoo's poem. Because I want people to realized that regardless of how much hate you throw, we're all just trying our best to live on. We're all on the same ground. You're not special.

[YT Link to iKON TV - Junhoe PD Episode excerpt - Jung Chanwoo’s Mosquito Poem]

~

Disclaimer: All photos belong to their rightful owners. I leave all credit to the rightful translators. PS: If I continued to make this longer, I'm at risk of a heart attack because of pent up frustrations lol PSS: STAN CHANWOO PSSS:

@/bianxstan on Twitter -  8:32 AM - 15 Dec 2018

If you're truly a fan of iKON, you would understand why it's hard for Chanwoo to bring his members to film for his YT. Chanwoo is a very considerate person. He would never do anything to make someone uncomfortable.

~

Besides, he knows how it feels like for the members because he lives the same lifestyle. Also, the members are not selfish to refuse to go on Chanwoo's channel. They help him out when he asks. So please, give Chanwoo the freedom to film whatever he wants with whoever he wants. 

Please subscribe to Chanwoo’s YT Channel if you haven’t already

[oprpadvice-blog]

hello robin! i just want some smol advice regarding a situation: so as much as i am prideful person and force myself to hide the weak and sad side of me regarding some situations so far it seems that after so many years of rp w/o an issue, i was target of the callout culture simply caused by a mere disaggreement - disaggreement which prompted me defending myself bcs some of the involved were insulting me and using very inappropriate language lets say. the thing is although i did admit that (1/2)

(2/2) i had done wrong in a certain behavior (nothing too overbearing, just something that i did not word right and maybe should’ve kept to myself) and they found this a reason to call me out, specially when i defended myself from the insults their pals were giving me. the thing is what has been irking me is that thanks to them more people nowadays seem to be unfollowing and just heard their side of the story. i mean idrc bcs hey its their loss and they’re just doing me a favour but still :/

;;hello anon dear , I am sorry that you feel you were a victim or target of call out culture , I understand how troublesome and isolating that can feel at times , however , I am glad that we get to discuss this topic as it’s something I believe is very common in the roleplay community in general but not quite discussed enough . 

While I believe call-out culture can be quite negative , I have to also mention what a lot of people tend to ignore is that it is rather necessary at times if a person feels attacked and needs to defend themselves . In such cases , I always find the fault to be on the first person who decided to take matters public , whether through vague posting about the person who harmed them , thus rising attention and speculations or whether it is through the direct form of call out posts . 

Now I have to be honest with you , I will do my best to advice you to my best capability to help you get through this matter , however , I feel I can not do that as adequately if you refuse to mention the wrong you’ve done as well . 

I assume by coming to me you would like to make better on the problem but the first action to sorting out anything is to acknowledge ones own mistakes as well . You need to keep in mind that just because what you have done may seem trivial or nothing overbearing to you , does not mean it did not harm the other person and affect them just as gravely as their actions seem to have affected you . No person can ever measure the hurt they have inflicted on another and you may find it important not to invalidate their own hurt because of your own . 

As I do not know what mistake you have done , I can not fully give proper advice on that part of the matter but will choose to help you with what limited information I have been provided . 

My first advice to you is since you do realize you have committed a mistake and done wrong in certain behavior is to let go of your pride and apologize for what you have done . You already acknowledge the problem and if you want it to get better then sometimes it is important to put your pride away and make the first move to fix things , even if that means being the first to apologize .  

Since we are talking about the fandom losing interest in your blog and unfollowing , I personally would develop huge respect for someone who can admit their mistake and genuinely apologize for it . 

It is also important for you to be honest with yourself and your followers as well . If you truly do not care about your followers and feel it is their loss only , then I feel you would not be seeking my advice . It sometimes feels necessary to be humble with your followers and show them your appreciation and care towards them to avoid losing them . After all , followers are not just a number , there are real human beings behind those blogs and a lot of the time people are pretty smart at sensing if someone truly does not care about their presence . 

The quickest way to gaining friends and trusting followers who will stick by your side even when things get bad is to show your care and appreciation for them . 

However , if that advice does not work for you and you feel too attacked / insulted to do so , then my second suggestion would be to defend yourself . If they have called you out publicly and you feel people may have only heard their side of the story and that you were truly wronged but not at fault as well , then the only other option you can do is respond to their call out , politely and talk about your side of things . Try to keep it mature and strict to only what is valid for the argument and topic at hand .

I’ve realized many at times during such confrontations , one side would say how they were made to feel , using guilt trip and illness to evade a serious discussion and that is only counter productive to what we are trying to achieve here . I think everyone in this fandom is mature enough to have a proper discussion without the need for insults and attacks .

Once the fandom has heard both sides of the equation and you have come clean with your side of the story then I’m afraid there’s not much you can do beyond that . As I have already mentioned I think everyone in the fandom is old enough to make their own choices and it will be up to them to decide if they wish to continue following you or not . 

Remember that it is not necessary for them to feel inclined to choose a side and it is perfectly alright for someone to interact with you as well as the person you have a problem with . It’s never right to pressure people into having to pick a side when it comes to such matters . 

For your sake , I sincerely hope the fandom will be understanding to your side of the story and this matter will be sorted out without any further problems . I wish you the best of luck , anon .

[llanaswanderland-blog]

The letters

This may be the longest letter that I’ll be doing for you, @allthesmalltigs And I am not sure if you’ll be reading this; but just a disclaimer, these are the things I want to say to you (kindly see dates in parentheses for reference).

For now I can’t collate all the words I need to say to you (that’s why this will be uploaded in one big tumblr entry). Please bear with the continuous editing I’ll be doing for the next days…weeks…or months…until I pour out my feelings for you. You don’t need to do reply to this. I just need to vent my emotions since I don’t have Twitter anymore.

(04052017)

We had a good 11-month (and 2 weeks to be exact) run. I may not have accepted things right away but eventually I will. Hey you’re right. Knowing that you’ve deleted our photos on Instagram connotes that you want to cut / forget all memories of being together [I think and assume]. That part I understand. It just sucks on my side because I still have feelings for you. You are the person I miss talking to, but I need to accept the fact that we are not together anymore…and you need the tantamount space just to forget your feelings [or even memories] for me as well. I get that. You’re right with not talking to me is the biggest move you can do just to move on from the relationship we have. You’re right re what I am feeling right now. I know I am responsible with all the emotions I am experiencing right now, but you can’t blame me for choosing to love you at the start. I guess being friends would not be as soon as I was expecting. 

(04062017)

Hey, so I just got disturbed with your latest post on Facebook. To be honest, I check your profile from time to time to see if you have already replaced me. Why I got disturbed? Well, you don’t usually post on Facebook and tagging someone…only one and she’s a woman. So I assume that she’s your new? Even though another part of me is giving you the benefit of the doubt, I have a gut feeling you’re seeing someone already. Screw this process I’m experiencing. I chose to undergo this process again because it’s what I did before with Art. Fuck this feeling. It really sucks. I find it disappointing from time to time whenever I remember your reasons on why you broke with me. It stings you know that? I find myself angry whenever I remember you in every happy situation I am in. Istorbo ka. The part you left me hanging because of your reasoning is just ugh. I don’t know what word I can replace with ‘ugh’. The last texts you sent me left me hanging. You were angry at me because you thought I blocked you from Twitter. I unfollowed you at first but I eventually thought of deleting my account. And voila! I can’t retrieve my Twitter anymore because it was deleted permanently. I was irritated on how you reply to my tweets indirectly that’s why I unfollowed you at first.Then again, I thought of deactivating it because of the temptation to read your tweets. You made your account private and even changed the name of your account so there is no way I can read them. But I read your response to one of your crushes using Meryl’s twitter. You made it a joke that you need someone who will not leave you. Srsly? You were the one who left me. I bargained when you were breaking up because it can still be fixed. But you made your decision and I respect that. The last texts you sent, the deletion of our photos on your IG, and your indirect tweets did not by any chance showed any respect on my side. I had to blurt these all out. But I don’t have a chance to talk to you anymore because you choose not to. I hope that someday you may realize that all I need from you is a sincere apology of what you made me feel. (to be continued)

(04072017)

I sent you a message of Messenger this morning; and to my expectation, you didn’t reply. I had to send that message because that is what I am feeling until now. These past weeks it’s either I am angry at you or sad, and to some extent both. But this morning, all I was feeling was the love I have given to you for past year (including the courting months). Yes I still love you but I guess it wouldn’t be reciprocated like before. Again thank you for making me love you after what Art did to me. I didn’t know I was capable of loving again after what I’ve gone through. Now, I need to divert my thoughts from you and focus on loving myself more. I have a bucketful of love in me that’s why I made a decision last year February 13 to make you feel that love. It was a decision– a risk I was willing to take. I can say that I have shown you the selfless kind of love, but I’m not sure if that’s what you have perceived. No two loves will ever be the same. My love for you is different from my exes or from the people I love and have loved. Have you seen the post I shared on Facebook? I was indirectly talking to you, but I guess you just brushed it off because you chose not to care anymore. I understand that. I know you wanted to move on quickly (I suppose). But that’s you. On my part, I just want to undergo this whole process until I am healed by time and by Him. Can I tell you another thing? Kanina when I woke up, a tear dropped from my left eye because I remembered you. I was feeling the love I have for you and then I compose the message I sent you. I was not feeling any hatred nor sadness. I was only feeling the love I have for you. Can I still love you from afar? Just like what I did with my past relationships. Don’t worry I won’t be bugging you or anything. I will just keep the good memories we had. I won’t delete or photos together on Instagram because what we had was real. It wasn’t a kind of relationship I took for granted or disregarded. Nagkataon lang na you were the only one I have photos with that’s why you didn’t see any photos of me and my other exes on Instagram. Don’t worry, I won’t make my next relationship feel that he should jealous of you because of the photos. You know I didn’t make you feel jealous of my guy friends or the guys I have dated before, so I will be doing the same with the next. Just so you know, I am not seeing anyone lately. I have no intention of dating anyone soon or be in a romantic relationship with. I have decided to love myself more until I get better.–to enjoy what the Universe has to offer me, to experience all the love God has for me, and to be ready for the next guy I can share my life with again. Thank you dear. ‘Til we meet again. 

(04112017)

It’s my second day of fasting from my social media accounts today. I haven’t gone over your FB and Instagram profiles so I guess that a yey from my side. It’s hard. It’s also tempting to take a glimpse of what you’re thinking or doing lately. I still miss you but I am not sure if it’s you who I miss or the idea of you before we broke up. It’s crazy thinking what I really feel for you. Every time I think about the good memories we had, I always make a decision not to care for you anymore. I always make a decision that the memories we created will remain as memories to be kept in my treasure box. I cherish you my dear. I still do but you don’t want it anymore. You don’t want me to be part of your life anymore (I guess). I need to remove the care I have for you. I am loving you from afar. I can’t hate you because that’s not me. That’s not how I view people who left me. I cannot understand now the real reason behind this event, but in the long run God will reveal it to me. Maybe I can get hurt even more if I know the real reason now but it still stirs up my curiosity. Maybe you’re still in love with your best friend? I don’t know. I could never know. I’m jealous of her now because she gets to talk to you; while I am here being just a stranger to you after all the time we spent together and the stories we shared. It’s kind of unfair on my part because things go wrong every time I give a part of me to a person I love and then leaves me or sees me invisible or worst never existed. Recently I have been reading chapters in the Book of Proverbs. I have found out that wisdom needs understanding. I haven’t fully grasped and accepted the real reason why we are not together anymore, but please do know that I am doing my best not to care for you anymore…just like what doing right now. 

(04122017)

You’re online on Messenger, and I saw my last message to you. It still remained ‘seen’. I read it again. I got to have it to myself, I did compose it right…almost error-free. It only lacks the word ‘other’. I am curious do you still look at my profiles in Facebook or Instagram? I have a hunch that it’s a yes? It’s just an assumption and more likely you wouldn’t answer my question. You do not talk to me anymore. I just see you through your posts in which I need to stop. I unfollowed you on Facebook so that I don’t get to see you latest updates. Though I find myself funny doing that because I still go to your profile and see your posts. Have you seen your posts that I’ve liked? I would be positive that yes you see them. Just to clarify, I unfollowed you on Facebook but I am still your Facebook friend. Maybe that’s what we are now? Friends via Facebook, but in reality maybe just mere strangers. From lovers turned into strangers. I did not choose this. I still blame you for choosing this silent treatment we’re having. The constant brush-offs. But in one angle, you’re right. Giving me this space is making me see how small things make me happy long before God introduced you in my life. It gave me more time to find lasting happiness I need. I am still finding it though. I am making myself happy. Oh yeah, after we broke up I started reading books again…well encouraging ones. I recently finished a book by Regina Brett titled, “God Never Blinks”. It’s a good book. It made me feel and see God in many ways I never thought He would be in. If we become friends again, I can lend you the book and maybe you’ll see the goodness the universe can offer you. The book I mentioned was the last thing I read the night before the morning I sent you my thank you text. Every time I think about us, I always veer away from the feeling of loneliness or depression caused by abandonment. Yes I felt abandoned after you left me just like that…just like a book in the shelf waiting to be read. This may sound weird but thank you for continuing to make the decision to brush me off from your life or not to reply to my last message on Messenger. I am still in the midst of finding happiness for myself and make it stay in my life. Before you came in my life, I learned how to be happy with the small things in my life. When we broke up, hatred covered my heart but there were amazing events happening. Every time I am reminded of the pain of a disappointment and abandonment, small and happy circumstances keep on coming in my life (i.e. thank you messages from my managers and the consultants I provide admin support to, free food from my new friends in the EA team, or the last slot in the jeepney so I won’t be late). Galing ‘no? I just realized it as soon as my heart is transforming into a more durable and wiser one…as soon as love and hope are trying to cover it again. In time, peace will also join the two. I am still praying to God that in time I will have the heart to forgive you even though you are not asking me to. I still love you but I need to love myself more and seek God’s wisdom to every circumstance I encounter, encountering, and will encounter. I pray that you’ll get wisdom from God as well in whatever state you are in right now.

050317

I guess you have noticed that I have already unfriended you on Facebook. Don’t worry on Instagram I’ll be hibernating as soon as I finish my #100ThankU project. I saw your girl you know. Someone told me. I was hurt because you did lie to me. You didn’t tell me that you wanted to leave because I was not enough for you. I guess I would not be asking for your apology soon because you are too proud of yourself. Oh you boys. Sorry but you’re still not a man at this stage. Want to know the real reason behind unfriending you? You remind me that I am worthless. You didn’t see my potential. You only saw that I am weak. My dear you have unleashed the bitch part of me. You belittled me. You didn’t respect me as a woman for crying out loud. You disrespected me like how you disrespect your sister behind her back. I have loved you before, but it’s time to un-love you because you are pushing me away as if I never existed in your life. I am infuriated with the feelings I have for you. Ugh how stupid of me. But no worries, you’ve made me unleashed my potential to be more matured and also wiser. Thank you though for making me see the real you. The part of you that you told me before. I have accepted it before, but now I can’t because you chose to leave and forget all the memories we had…that includes me. So I guess this is goodbye. I wish you well. If we bumped into each other, I hope you’re already worthy of my attention. (to be continued if there is still something to continue)