#and I KNOW we needed that scene for the OTHER pie room convo but you know what I’m trying to say hopefully

[lokiusly]

don’t wanna show toxic masculinity but made a fem character belittle a male character for needing to stress eat

[oksanasanna]

Is 2x07 your favorite because of villaneve (ear)phone sex?

I could write a whole essay on why 2x07 appeals so much to me specifically

I know no one likes Aaron, but I love him. I relate to him a lot (minus the murder and the billion dollars). I’m obsessed with his speech about how he never gets lonely, has no desire for human interaction, and would rather observe people’s lives from afar. I’m the same way, and he’s the only other person real or fictional I’ve ever seen who also doesn’t experience loneliness.

Rome. I studied Latin and Classical Culture in college.

Villanelle gorging on pasta, my favorite food. It’s soo satisfying watching her absolutely stuff her face. I completely understand Aaron’s weird kink.

The bread hand touch.

Bread in general. I would also like to watch Villanelle eat bread and ice cream and chocolate and pasta. Those are the best food groups. Again, Aaron’s onto something.

Eve fixing her hair for Villanelle before going to give her the mic.

The atelier jacket is one of my fave Villanelle outfits.

I also enjoy the outfit Villanelle first wears when she gets to Rome. And the outfit she wears to the lunch date. Billie’s outfits are on point the whole episode, and I love that scene of Villanelle being amazed by all her new clothes in Rome.

I love Billie.

“I don’t like rich men.”

“I will not be needing the pill.”

“Ugh, get a room” and the way you can hear Villanelle’s wet smile after she says it.

The way Villanelle asks for the shepherd's pie recipe and then repeats all the ingredients to herself under her breath to memorize it.

“Always close the curtains. You never know what kind of pervert might be outside.”

“See? That wasn’t so hard was it?” ‘Are you going to leave us alone now?” “Of course not. Why don’t you sit down.”

“The sexy maths teacher.”

Eve’s wide awake speech was Sandra’s best scene of the entire season. The way she doesn’t blink because she’s so focused on the convo and so ready to talk about Villanelle. The tears of intensity. “Are you in a relationship?” “Define relationship.” It’s so powerful.

The earpiece sex!!

The morning after softness!!

Just the fact that we got that (micro)phone sex was absolutely wild. That’s still the sexiest Villaneve have ever been, and that “good morning” and snuggle into the pillows rivals some of the best 3x08 softness. I can’t believe how blessed we were.

Edward Bluemel in his underwear. (I’m gay, but he’s my exception, don’t judge. It’s not straight if I say #NoHetero)

Hugo’s stupid smile and “hey” when he wakes up

Eve’s absolute disdain for Hugo’s entire existence when he says “hey”

“Thanks for the threesome”

Villanelle’s threesome in the beginning of the episode. That whole first scene is fabulous. The slapstick of the girls interrupting them one by one. Jealous Eve. “Thank you.” “For the sex? You’re welcome!” The sexiness of “I’m not with them when I’m with them” and the emotion of “I feel things when I’m with you.” Villanelle’s robe. “I’m not dressed.” “I don’t care.” The framing. The acting. Literally every second of that scene is a masterpiece.

Villanelle having an alley cat for 2 seconds (cats > dogs fight me)

Carolyn asking the same questions for Eve and Villanelle “Any escalation, increased attention seeking, recklessness?”

That beautifully creepy shot of Carolyn in the mirror hovering over Kenny as he watches Eve leave their house.

The way Aaron drags that poor closeted gay dude for watching Gossip Girl with his boyfriend and the way Villanelle just watches on enjoying the tea as she eats her meal and pretends she doesn’t understand Russian.

Villanelle singing and Hugo bopping along.

Hugo being a bi king calling Aaron “not bad looking”

Eve “He Could Kill the Shit out of Me” Polastri getting horny for some rando psycho dude and liking him even more when she finds out he’s killed people. It’s so fresh to see her openly flirting with someone other than Niko and really marked a turning point in their relationship. It wasn’t just that Villanelle was her exception, it was that she was a completely changed person willing to flirt with a psychopath and take advantage Hugo “Human Dildo” Chambers/Turner/Tiller just because she felt like it.

In the same vein, Hugo changing and saying “Don’t watch me. I know what you’re like” and Eve being offended because he’s right lmao

“Cooped up in a hotel room with nothing to do. How will we pass the time?”

“Set up everything in here.” “Why’s it got to be in my room?” “Because I don’t want all this shit in my room.” I love selfish Eve.

I think 2x07 was actually the peak of Dark Eve. Sure she kills someone in 2x08 and again in 3x07, but she kind of regrets it both times or at least feels guilty. In 2x07 she’s taking advantage of people and manipulating them and giving in to her own desires without a care in the world. She stands up to Villanelle when she gets jealous, she ignores Kenny’s warnings because she wants to see Villanelle, she sends herself and Hugo to Rome knowing its dangerous because she wants to see Villanelle, she flirts with the murder dude, she makes the conversation with the therapist about herself because she wants to indulge, she gets impatient with the Peel case and is quick to insult Hugo every time he disagrees with her methods, she doesn’t care when Hugo gets upset about being out of the loop with the threesome (the 2x08 coffee scene where Hugo is pissy about the night before and Eve’s only concern is that her coffee is cold has strong 2x07 energy and is an honorable mention scene). She doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but herself and Villanelle the whole episode and it’s beautiful.

“What happened to her profile?!” “I don’t know, maybe you shouldn’t have fired Kenny!”

I love Hugo with my whole heart. Aside from Aaron, Hugo is the second character I see the most of myself in. I relate to his sense of humor and I think I would probably be some rich posh douchebag boy like him in an alternate dimension. I love that he gets featured so much in the episode, and it’s really his character’s climactic episode. He finally gets to succeed in his missions of banging Eve and taking down Aaron before going down in 2x08. I just like seeing my boy happy.

Villanelle having that really stylish gorgeous piano that I wish I could have.

Eve leaving those voicemails for Villanelle and Villanelle laying down, listening to them, and stroking her scar with that giddy smile on her face.

Villanelle packing her suitcase by balling everything up and throwing it in there and then acting surprised when Konstantin finds razor wire.

The directing juxtaposition of Villanelle and Aaron entering Aaron’s (STUNNING) palazzo and Eve and Hugo checking in to their grubby hotel.

The cheeky face Hugo makes when the receptionist mistakes Eve and Hugo for a couple.

The way you completely forget about Niko and Gemma in the storage unit until the very end of the episode when you least expect it and it shows you their fate as a shocking cliffhanger juxtaposed with the morning after Villaneve softness in the scene immediately before it. What a rollercoaster. What a way to end on a high note.

Gemma’s murder is probably the most gruesome murder of the show for me. Not that I enjoy gruesome murder, but it’s another aspect of the episode that really stands out. Her face in that bag? Genuinely creepy. Yet the fragile tape is funny. It’s a great example of that blend of comedy and darkness that makes this show so unique.

The pink and black title card is one of the best opening color schemes of the whole show.

“Non Voglio Piu Rivederti” by Paola Neri and 

“Vai Tu Sei Libero” by Dalida are songs I listen to regularly

This list is an unorganized hot mess and I probably missed stuff, but you get my point.

There’s not a single weak spot in the episode. From the acting, the directing, the writing, the music, the costumes, the set design, I love every moment of every scene, and I can’t believe Emerald Fennel wrote it just for me.

[sammyhale]

J2 Orlando Con 2018 Main Panel

 *Watch for panel videos or gifs for context/details :) 

J2 jump onstage. 

Jensen: What are we supposed to do with this flamingo? The boys are playing with the flamingos that were left by Rich in their chairs.

Lots of joking around already :P 

Jared: Are there any Latin teachers here? Jensen: Yeah, I think the Latin teacher section is right over there lol. 

Jared: Happy new year and happy old year. Jensen: That’s not a thing! Jared: It can be our thing *points to audience* it’s the new black! 

Jared is already cracking Jensen up :)

Jared would not kill anybody off an episode he’d write because he knows SPNFamily dearly and knows how pissed off we get. It would be based on Castiel. He would write a script about Cas sitting in the rain. 

Jensen says he would do an episode of an old civil war battle. He would kill off all of the ghosts. “Thanks for the idea, Krip, we’ll take it from here.” 

Jared is telling a story about going to Florida last April for his brother-in-law’s wedding and how he saw an alligator. His kids wanted to see alligators and he was like, there won’t be any but when he was going for a walk, he saw one on the streets lol!

J2 are so giggly and happy <3 

Jensen: “Is south Florida not a part of Florida? Hey, we have parts of Texas we don’t claim.” 

Jensen: There’s certain times when they yell cut where you’re not able to just stop, especially in emotional scenes. 

Jared is sticking his hands in Jensen’s shirt again. “He has pockets in his shirt.” He’s not over it, he loves the shirt pockets lol. 

Jared: My first day at work this year they call action and we say our lines and I couldn’t remember how to act. It was the first time he was able to take a break from Supernatural (over hiatus) and separate show from real life. Jared says things stay for him if he stays in what he calls work mode. 

J2 had five full days of filming this past week. 

Jensen is telling the story about the first day shooting the new season and the crane with the camera swinging around in the car. They did a driving sequence and they have a convo, but while Jensen was driving there’s another vehicle driving around them with the crane. First time doing that. 

Jensen teasing Jared: And genius here can’t remember his lines! 

Prank question: Jared and Jensen actually didn’t do anything to Misha in their last scene they shot together and Misha was so confused lol. “It was one of our better pranks by not doing anything at all.” 

Jensen: “Impromptu is being just us being super idiots.” Jared: Supernatural Jensen: Supernatural super idiots. 

J2 in sync. 

Norton is still messing with Jared by not giving him rimshots for some of his jokes lol. Jared will look at Norton to do it after he makes a joke, Norton doesn’t do it, Jensen repeats what Jared says and then Stephen does it :P

Jensen didn’t always know he was going to become an actor, it came to him naturally. 

Jared always knew he wanted to be an actor. After SPN, though, Jared says on acting: “I’m very, very excited to put this chapter of my life on hold for a while.” 

Would you allow your children to be on the show? Jared: Shep would be evil. A child of mine has been on the show. He won’t give ep info or details, though. 

J2 talking about if their kids wanted to act and that it would have to be something they would want to do and that the industry is difficult. Jensen says if they’re passionate about it, he’d support it. 

Jared about the series finale: I think at least one brother would have to die. 

Jensen says Dean’s heaven would be doing donuts in the Impala in the Hooters parking lot.  

Jared: If Sam and Dean have a heaven it would be helping people. 

Jensen is making funny faces at Jared. Jared: I can see you on the screen lol. 

Do they believe in the supernatural? Jared: I already believed in the supernatural before spn and I’ve had some strange experiences. Tells the haunted hotel in Austin story. 

Jensen: Did it ever occur to you that your wife enjoys watching Dean on TV? Jared: Yes, she’s been a fan of Gilmore Girls *crowd cheers*

Norton finally gave Jared a rimshot and Jared flipped his chair in excitement. The whole room cheered. 

In the last episode, running back to get the last piece of lizard wasn’t in the script. Jensen was like: Dean wouldn’t leave food. 

They attached chicken to a real taxidermy lizard so it looked realistic. 

Fan: I was wondering if Jesus was ever going to be on the show? Jensen points to Jared: Savior of mankind right here. Jared *flips hair* 

JJ wants Jensen to have a princess party and that he should be Ariel “merman” 

Jared’s Disney princess would be Rapunzel. 

Jensen just called Jared a princess. 

Jared is on the floor. 

Jensen to Jared: I think it would be “a whole new world” if you were Jasmine. Jared: I’d say Elsa but my microphone was “Frozen.” 

Favorite pie? Jared whispers to Jensen, they giggle. Fan: An appropriate pie. Norton gives the fan a rimshot lol. 

Jensen’s favorite pie is coconut cream pie. 

Jared: My fav pi is the circumference divided by the radius, which is 3.1415...

Jensen leaned back on Jared and acted like he was going to sleep. 

Jensen says Aurora all sexy. Jared collapses. 

Have Dean and Sam forgiven themselves for the things they’ve done? Jared: They still harbor some sadness for some people they couldn’t save, Charlie for example. But they’re doing good for the world, so they’ve forgiven each other and a major degree of themselves. 

Jensen: I think Dean’s forgiven himself for the things he’s done but it’s hard for him to forgive himself for the things he didn’t do. Not being able to save the people he loved. 

Jensen called Jared Jasmine again :P

Jensen talking about Amara’s gift to Dean, Jared got teary eyed. Jensen to Jared: You okay there big guy? 

Jensen says Dean needed to get the weight of those feelings out during that scene with Mary when he said he hated and loved her. 

Last question!

Jared: Half the funny stuff is scripted, other half is off script (improv). 

They sang happy birthday to Clif. 

J2 fist bump, back tapping, and that’s the end of the panel! 

(Side note: The next convention is VegasCon on Feb 22-25, and I’m attending! :D Unfortunately, that does mean I won’t be able to do my panel summaries like normal. Follow Sil on Twitter here, on Tumblr here, and on YouTube here; she and her team do a great job of providing content from the cons, including panel summaries on Storify and panel videos! Thanks guys :)) 

Info via: Fangasm, Mel, NerdsandBeyond, Tina, Sil’s livetweet list

[elizabethrobertajones]

13x02 watching notes

i'm on a train. choo choo.

expectations: helpfully wrote them out last time for the season as a whole which this ep is introducing all the plot stuff for since last episode advanced the plot a single day of angst, but this episode especially has a few SUPER low bars to pass. Last time out BL failed spectacularly to not kill Eileen. now we have "don't assault mary, over-sexualise the day old guy, or flub introing the new characters, or reintroducing the returning ones"

-

our train was like 10 minutes late out the station because there was no driver. is this a metaphor.

-

i also had to eat krispy kreme doughnuts before I could dig into the episode.

-

oh jeeze Drexel survived season 12... no one really has a fanclub for the random minions, probably because around Simmons we realised there was no point getting attached. and he was in some of the worst scenes of last season just because of the context. which is a shame. also he's a lucifer fan and that's not really a worthwhile position. anyway hope springs eternal that colonel sanders is such a charismatic character he makes the demon scenes worth watching... and Drexel gets to be interesting. And stop saying lines like 'make hell great again' which is so not a good thing to put in his mouth - at least the other demons who were going around saying it it was the white demon who said it and got the stink eye from the other demon.

One of the other demons says "can you even hear yourself" but idk if BL would crit their own writing unlike competent writers whose first port of call is stressing that they are bad writers and mock their corny dialogue

-

this also raises the semi perpetual question since season 11 that if Crowley's throne room is here why would any of the pretenders to the throne even want it. they seriously need to justify it. We know devil's gates are a pain and not usually open so smuggling minions out to work topside is an issue but there are other workarounds than establishing a campy hell set that's not even in hell, then getting confused about if it's hell or not, and never really explaining why Lucifer would stick around in it except for the fact Crowley is really good at setting up a system and it would be a shame not to use the pre-established set up.

but eh

I really sincerely hope Asmodeus is just here because Crowley's ex-minions are here and will relocate post-haste to his plantation.

-

He hung up his coat. Drexel survived though. I guess being a named character has its perks. the sun shone in my eyes the entire time so i was quite amused when the train turned a bit and i saw demons dropping with burned out eyes, angel-style. like Dagon being super duper powerful, I guess they're giving him extra powers - because this is just a few steps up from how Sam was exploding demons with his head at one point and he got his powers from a YED... though in 5x10 when Lucifer killed all those demons he also didn't burn the eyes out. it's probs a stylistic choice. in character and out.

-

Nougat!!! he's so cute. he's sleeping at an angle to be behind Sam in the convo. The camera points at Sam from the dash and at Dean from Sam's POV, and Jack is in his background. methinks this is about Sam.

He's trying to make Dean sleep and calling out how he hasn't had any, which is nice because I was worried about that earlier.

Dean is calling Jack "it" which I think was in some people's pre-season fic, or else if it weren't it was in the one i didn't write :P Blatant convo is blatant but does at least have an actual honest to god lead into the next scene via the mom is dead conversation. Again we get the super zoom close up on sam being sad and questioning dean's thoughts. assert yourself, sammy! i believe in u

-

(totally on your side too Dean but the sun is too bright to examine your micro expressions and the camera isn't favouring you anywho so you're a rewatch flavour today)

-

Satan wants to trade Mary for Jack. Well if Dean knew he'd sell Jack for a corn chip anyway (is that Crowley's phrase from the original weird dog episode?) so that's just a great big victory. methinks the choice will fall on Sam or fall on Dean after he's had a chance to bond with Jack some more - that's the other side to the tension about Dean liking jack that i was talking about earlier whensomeone asked me why everyone wants dean to adopt jack.

ideally mary saves herself or it never comes to it but for now i'll assume whatever else happens between here and there, some version of this plan will at least be floated, even if it's random circumstances and not lucifer's hand any more or something

makes sense anyway to tie mary back into the main arc in a way like how she mirrored cas the entire time last season - if her fate and jack's are connected even tenuously it gives her a connect back into the main thing

-

oh good the woman next to me has finished her dangerously over-full cup of Pimms because I was terrified it would be bye bye laptop

nnnoooo as I type she refilled it

the train is swaying back and forth so much

-

anyway Mary asks Lucifer why he wants to be a parent and he hints several times in a row that he has hidden depths without actually showing any of them. i don't want him to have a redemption anyway and i really super duper don't want him to have one written entirely by BL

-

Colonel Sanders continues to try and liven up the story while giving us surface level exposition

I'll be honest, 'write that down' is the first good line... must be whichever of BL is quippy currently writing. I think they just introduced a monster taht lucifer is scared of but I couldn't catch what it was and for some reason another demon is listening in so is he getting ideas? I mean why to what end? also what exactly was the thing that was locked up because it sounded like a cut price Leviathan expo dump but obvs not that because a leviathan would eat Lucifer

i mean i don't think we pay enough attention to the fact that dick roman would just gobble lucifer up and end of story. bring back dick.

-

*Pimms lady sways dangerously close to my laptop*

I think Sam accused Dean of hallucinating "shit" on the road because it's too noisy to hear him say "sheep". I just assume that is what he actually said in the non-censored version

-

pls drink your Pimms fast enough to end this danger but not so fast you're sloshed and throw it on my laptop before it's all gone

-

Cashing in on that new Scooby Doo partnership! Some bank like Halifax is currently using Scooby Doo to sell stuff so I see that dog on telly all the time and the fact they exist in the same fictional universe as Sam and Dean is kiiiilling me. I think we have all been assuming Jack takes us to Scooby World so plonking him in front of the telly to watch some is how it all begins. Dean, like every fan fic between 13x01 and now hates Jack unreservedly for having childlike enthusiasm about the telly because Cas used to do that, while (semi)unaware that Jack is mirroring HIMSELF from 12x11 most closely right now. I think that's an interesting parallel I don't know how much work has gone into but pls poke me to write about Jack's 1 day old child-like wonder compared to sweetie pie no memory Dean if no one else has done it because they're essentially the same character from completely different angles, and we're about to hit Jack mirroring Dean excessively.

-

Me: don't excessively sexualise the kid

BL: "here read a book" *chucks the Bible at him* *he opens it to the Song of Solomon* We're NOT having this chat right now.

I suppose some people just meta-gasmed all over this. I don't know much about the Bible but I do know that's the sexy bit.

-

the "I can take the couch" conversation probably put the exact same thought process in Jack's head as mine when my very lanky brother looked at the lil brick hard bed set up in the corner of our hotel while we were stranded in Glasgow, and looked at me, princess and the pea-syndrome sufferer, and nobly offered to take a bed that *my* feet stuck 3 inches over.

No.

-

Thanks but no.

-

aw man we're only at Carlisle.

-

It's the promo scene as well, which mostly just drove home how much Jack is mirroring Dean... We've had basically no character interaction in the missing day, although we can assume it's mostly gone like this... Dean annoyed, Sam forgiving Jack for being adorable, and Jack being adorable. He's getting better at sarcasm as well, which can't be making Dean feel any better about him.

And that means that the "Castiel is my father" revelation happened off-screen and we're not being given any room for a reaction about it, which is the most annoying part of this. I knew 13x01 was an anomaly and going into a BL ep so soon after would deprive us of some of the emotional depth, but it's like having a bucket of cold water dumped on us :P

-

I think Dean's 'sometimes' about family being good is going to be a criminally underrated line and I don't even know if I can bring myself to remember it all the time in discussions about how Dean feels about family going forwards but this is a note that i heard him say it and acknowledged it means he has some issues with blood family ongoing.

-

Jack being adorably human blah blah, Dean aggravates the issue by being really mean about insisting Lucifer is his father and asking if he reached out to Jack and now Jack's remembering him doing that. Hey leave the kid alone, Dean, his blank slate was slightly messed up by waning to be like Cas which is obviously an excellent exemption to  having a blank slate.

Maybe there's a metaphor in him agitating the bad father sitation over here.

I don't know if Jack should have asked for clarification there so let's pretend there was a hesitation and a "Ca -" "*Lucifer.* Your father." exchange. Or something.

-

And now Nougat is lying about emotional strife, like's been agitated into being a Winchester from his great blank slate

GAH Stop gesturing by the STILL FULL glass of Pimms

they keep topping it up and it's not good for my stress levels

-

I think I just missed basically everything that happened because all I could see was my own reflection but then they were like *rising tension music* *scuffle* *donatello* so I assume he jumped out on them. Mental note to go back and see who was defensive of Jack and what he did.

-

*casually mopping up my neighbour's Pimms as it splashes dangerously close to my laptop while listening to Donatello's exposition*

the good thing about BL episodes is that you can often just kinda chill and  listen to the exposition if it's just a chunk o dialogue and nothing offensive is going on so we're making progress through the ep

-

*dean is super bitter about who does and doesn't have a direct line to god for some reason*

-

Awww Sam says they're brothers and it's a family crest when he is saying Jack should get the tattoo <3

*completely* robbed of Dean's reaction

-

WHY DID THEY NOT TELL JACK IT WOULD HURT

-

I went to the loo and came back to them wiping Pimms off their phone

-

Well Jack just completely put Dean in his place RE: pain, when he told him to man up about it and Jack was like right we accept pain as a sign of maturity... this is absolutely not what Dean meant but it is probably a healthier approach to it minus all the toxic masculinity

can we get to 13x03 and an ep written by Berens soon :P

-

Jack accidentally absorbs his warding. Oops. I guess that angel warding was a WEE bit OTT I mean I'm no expert but that looks like a total pain to be dealing with all the time for the makeup department :P

-

Also must have taken friggin ages

-

I still don't get why Donnatello is here except to use as a chip in their arguments... Ah well. Dean arguing intent doesn't matter freaky powers are freaky powers because he's still pissed about what happened to Cas and can't see the much more basic thing that Jack didn't mean to get Cas killed and OBVIOUSLY didn't intend it if he was waiting for Cas to be there for him when he popped out of the womb. I think for all the random avenues this took in fandom this is probably about as deep as the show will go if this is how BL are spelling it all out for us... And the answer is all there on the page already but we're just using Dean as the alternate side of the argument to show his own character stuff going on where he can't deal with Jack because he's upset about Cas. And he was always more concerned about Cas than the philosophy of whatever else was going on

-

Train going through the Lake District... I am enchanted. It's a grey day w/ very low clouds and water on the ground and all the trees are autumnal. Sue me, this is more interesting than Donatello being unhelpful. He backed up Sam's argument earlier w/ saying Lucifer felt toxic and Jack is somewhat more like his grandfather, but then once he starts talking he's like hurr blurr as a scientist nature wins and he's a monster and then Sam's like I thought you were on my side dude and then Dean angsts about Cas some more and calls Jack the devil and he decides he better start teleporting now because leave me alone not-dad and get off my case

I hope we see his wings. Dean asks in 13x01 if he had wings and equated it to teleporting and I suppose we don't know how demons do it but the assumption is if he's half-angel adn can teleport then he has wings

-

Oh no it is KILLING me how Jack's thing is sitting cross legged. PROTECT HIM.

Sam finds him, thankfully, after the Sad Kelly Montage. There's a very Northern man behind me talking loudly on the phone so I'm gonna concentrate SUPER HARD now

-

The hotel is called the Black Hat which I think is western coding for the bad guy. There was a house in the prairie art on the wall, and the single isolated house is how Jack came into the world... He's dealing with towns now.

-

Exposition Mooose! Telling us Dean gets some wires crossed about getting angry whe nhe's frustrated and scared  like yes good expose dean for us some more... explaining him to jack is like hey so um he's an acquired taste... trying to make this about protecting everyone instead of pointing out the obvious that he blames jack for what happened to cas

Jack is a winchester because he's like maybe i'm not worth it

help

and them Sam brings up w/o knowing it was on jack's mind that kelly thought so but also is a blatant link to how they used dead!mary to guide their lives right up until she came back...

... and then so would Cas and so would I. Sam aligning himself with Jack's parents to show he has emotional guardianship of him right now

-

has dean gone down to the bar because it's called th eblack spur and obvs not the same one but i'm like 100% sure that's the bar from 10x01 where he was hanging with Crowley and I'm not gonna fact check that. it's "black" again aka more nature stuff, more coded evil stuff I guess? I don't know anything about Westerns I admit

-

And hey look a blonde bartender is chatting to him - there's a Jack ale sign on one side... and hahahahahaaaa no there's a Kingdom Beer sign behind Dean over his shoulder because the director wants to kill me

-

So far this is the weirdest BL episode Ive seen in a long time because they're trying so so hard to be all nuanced and deep and to explore character stuff and carry on the mood from the first episode, while being direly under-equipped to handle it, so everyone's just blurting exposition all over the place in a series of awkward exchanges. The overtness of the dialogue is actually helping in a weird way to rush through the tick boxes because Dean just admitted to seeking his neglectful father's approval from a standing start which is a sign of progress for him to just leap right into admitting his issues with John. I don't have a frame of reference for this because tired and white noise and noting we're pulling into Lancaster and it looks like rain now and there's a guy travelling with an enormous silver mirror with an ornate frame as tall as he is on the other platform and more pimms is on the table... but yeah when DID he last talk about John? Is this the increased openness since 12x22 we were hoping for? Is my backpack okay because it's in a luggage rack I can't see and if someone nicks it they're only stealing all my laundry but I like some of those t-shirts so it would be a bummer...

-

Lol surprise Asmodeus, no wonder she pushed all the father stuff... Was he talking about Lucifer then? It's everyone has father issues season. He's fitting in as another mirror in it all. Like the great big shiny mirror the dude at Lancaster station had. I'd honestly not be surprised if John came back in some way just cuz we had the Mary season where motherhood was a theme, and now we're doing this. I don't think John would come back for good liek Mary but they could scrounge up a more direct way of confronting his memory at least.

-

This also is so unsubtle bcos Dean had no idea what the bartender looked like so he coulda just tended the bar and chatted to Dean b4 he knew who Asmodues was, and we could have had some cool tension like we all know that Colonel Sanders is the bad guy and Dean's just chatting him up a bit. But then when do we ever get such things in a BL ep?

-

Sam just goes and spells it out about Jack being molded and the ambiguity of his father figures aka the dual nature battle they think Jack should have, with a deciding vote already thrown in there by Kelly and of course that Jack has free will and choice

-

So Mary just nearly got assaulted, tho not by Lucifer, which was not exactly a pleasant surprise. >.> idk what that guy's problem was but he seems to be implying women can't fight and something something I didn't catch but clearly he doesn't see a whole bunch of women. This is literally the antithesis of the show's handling of female hunters since the start so I'm going to have to assume that this is an AU thing like, total worst timeline, and everyone's sexist to boot. Not really a fan of doing this at all because why are humans made out to be just as bad as meeting angels and demons in this world - Mary being at risk from ALL of them (where is BOBBY I wanna see wtf was going on between him and AU mary and our mary and our bobby) - and it being disappointing that Mary's at risk BECAUSE she's female and might get assaulted.

-

Lucifer continues to try and act like a good guy by saving Mary and then of course the Nice Guy twist that always comes - if you won't give me what I want that I'm pretending is mutually beneficial then I will just hurt you.

They're chilling by that church from 8x23 now so I guess Mikey will be along soon.

Preston Station looks like a hellscape as well - it's packed and there's no ticket barriers. I'm so glad we were only passing through

-

Dean comes in and sits down with Sam with the shadows of the blinds falling over them - prison imagery I missed you! We're trapped in these mindsets...

-

Sam wants to get them on the same page and Dean is like F U and Sam's like lemme do exposition while you sit with the shadow over your eyes.

I wish there was a shadow falling over my eyes... We've passed back through to hazy sunlight south of Preston.

-

Sam says people who we love, and who have been in our lives for a long time, in such a way I bet some asshole is excluding Cas from one category bcos Mary doesn't count in the long time category so maybe one is for her and one is for Cas

-

obviously that's the real donatello because he only cares about breakfast and is an object of ridicule while Asmodeus was presumably the other and actually talking plot.

-

this is an idiot ball moment tbh because Jack hasn't been in any hotel scenes for a while and somehow we've shuffled through all the characters here and not had any of them with Jack or checking where he is despite him being the most precious cargo, and it was bugging me earlier that dontatello and sam talking meant jack was alone because he wouldn't be w/ dean so where was he but Sam didn't ask? they just chatted? And obvs that was asmodeus but yeah... no one's keeping an eye on him and D. wasn't even supposed to be taking Jack to get breakfast or what? If that wasn't him then what exactly did Sam think Jack was up to?

-

Also Sam tanking the mytharc Dean tanking the personal arc - he talks to both of them w/o them knowing and guess what each's conversation is

-

And also Dean came in with food as well like there's major miscommunication going on here if the real donatello was getting breakfst and so was Dean but is that the point or is that just a plothole where this doesn't add up properly if you actually try and map who knew what and - was Dean the one SUPPOSED to be watching Jack? But Sam didn't ask him either.

-

Anyway here's the demon that Dean's entire fight scene is about straddling to death.

-

I also loved his march down to the room where he was all in shadows

-

The last shot of that fight though where Dean's cowering away from the demon on a bed while it advances on him with a knife

like wow that was a good fight scene for the dynamics going on there. Dean as a victim being absolutely dominated by that demon and all the associated knife and weirdass positions imagery. Dean on that table with his legs around the demon is like an entire meta on its own as well

-

okay it was too bright when I saw the scene where Asmodeus was talking about that whatever it was he let out but I THINK that was the same demon I thought I saw overhearing it and now I am wondering what on earth that was about because Dean just killed him :P

-

Awww Jack out in nature. I love the flowers and the buzz of insects and life all around him. And Asmodeus is testing him.

Okay it's been like one episode how can he have character inconsistency with himself from earlier in the episode - he now wants to unleash the things he got in trouble for unleashing before? I mean unless he's decided that Lucifer really isn't coming back so might as well just throw a party while there's no adult supervision, and get back to all that chaos and destruction he loves. If he thought there was remotely a chance Lucifer would come back he wouldn't do it, but then is he just doing it now out of spite that Lucifer told him no before, and instead of whatever nonsense he said about family dynamics back then is not really true at all because he wants to rebel now instead.

If Jack unleashes the thing because he was tricked then it will be the biggest Sam and Cas mirror thing ever and will set him up with some angst and guilt for the rest of the season.

One of the downsides of Dean not getting along with him is that Jack doesn't know how much scepticism about God is a healthy amount in this universe. He basically just knows that God is his grandfather and family is usually good. But God is suuuch a bad concept to rally behind here, it's not even like God wouldn't ask him to do it because God never tells anyone what to do about anything (which is like the first thing Dean would have told Jack if he hadn't still been sulking God wouldn't lift a finger to help him over the whole dead Cas issue), God would also just never have any positive reinforcement for anyone or get excited about having a grandson, at least in a way to get actively involved :P

I mean Chuck probs thought that Donatello making his way to Jack was about as useful as he could be and that immediately went sour when no one kept 2 pairs of eyes on each other at all times.

-

Wyoming has some pretty nasty stuff under it :P

I wonder if Hell maps exactly to earth but just kinda deeper.

Also point to me for rambling about hell gates earlier and then Asmodeus actually listening to my suggestion box for once. Maybe he will be the one character who can actually hear me in this show.

Hey you, you're an asshole

-

Is Lucifer aware he literally just lead them in a circle because I am so not telling him that, because it's too funny.

I hope Jack didn't inherit his sense of direction but this is Dabb era, as soon as that kid gets a car, trouble starts.

-

The midlands are so bleak.

-

These angels are wearing heavy tactical gear and yet more kneepads. The human had them too. This is just kneepad world. I don't see the necklaces of baby ears so maybe that design thing got ditched or maybe Bobby was being metaphorical.  The important thing is they don't look like Cas. The weird thing is we know Mikey's costume sort of does look like a ragged Cas.

Anyway Lucifer is so offended to hear Michael killed him even though it was literally the most obvious thing ever the entire time we've known about them and since 12x12 we've had extra info to prove it :P

-

Omg why are you opening champagne on a traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain

-

MIKEY

He wanders in like hey I'm awesome but also I need to immediately open with super obvious exposition lines

Lucifer accuses him of being dressed like he came from a western too which goes with the thematics back in the Earth part of the story and also makes me think maybe the costuming choice was supposed to kinda mirror Frontierland Dean's 2nd costume because why the fuck not this is Dabb era, rules are for suckers :P

I can't see it w/o the hat but maybe he has a hat elsewhere.

-

this hole down into the centre of the earth looks REMARKABLY like the one the 2nd season of Shadowhunters had in the season finale, so I need Magnus to just wander over the rise and close it now. Also his eyes glow gold and cat like. Is his power literally equivalent to Jack's? He's like ridiculously OP in that show. I guess all that hiatus watching was research.

-

Ah, Asmodeus has learned the "Oh shit it's the Winchesters" moment already, especially recognising the car. Them driving right onto the scene has the oddest shades of 5x22 without anything being remotely like it except it's a field, hole in the earth, and car.

-

Okay why did Donatello yell "that's not Donatello"

this is like the reverse of the best version of this scene I've ever heard which is the one from the end of Here Be Gerblins in the Adventure Zone which I will not spoil for you except to say this is the worst and also it doesn't take too much listening to get to that point and I nearly cried laughing so you should probably go listen. More hiatus watching research!

-

The other option is D is having a total crisis of self w/o a soul or the evil D is actually the real thing and Asmodeus is helping them for some reason.

-

LOL he's like hi I'm Crowley's replacement so the line now is "howdy boys" intead of hello boys

-

As soon as Jack knows what's up and sees his new peeps getting hurt he stops because he is precious and he did nothing wrong and I love him

-

AWW HE THINKS THEY'RE HIS FRIENDS I LOVE YOU NOUGAT

-

Deal with that, Dean.

-

Mary like "... should I be shuffling backwards?" "I SHOULD BE SHUFFLING BACKWARDS, BYE"

-

Lucifer said he needed Mary, Mikey says he needs Lucifer... I think that phrase is being turned over and ruined now. The necessary step of Dean having said it to Cas that one time when he shoulda said I love you... They had a brief critique of "need and want" and some stuff about i and we, which was what last season was doing, but Cas feels bad bcos he feels needed but not wanted, and this is as much as Dean has said to him - from the depths of his heart - but it's not enough because that was season 8 and he hasn't felt like he belongs and he needs that I love you. Uh but w/o using "need" - look, they're gesticulating with champagne again, I have 1 eye on this at best as we roll through the midlands for an eternity :P Anyway I guess it is time to put "need" in the firing line as the Wrong Word that means that you're USING someone.

-

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??? DEAN DOES NOT SIT AT THE TABLE LIKE THAT. OH MY POOR, POOR BROKEN CHILD LET ME HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS

I know it's probably for that wonderful shot of them through the door but Dean fundamentally does not sit up against the wall - he and Sam have their places at that table when they have their chats and it's a serious thing since the entire time theyve been using the kitchen for important plot chats.

Anyway he super not okay bcos that's his seat he sits at when he's in his proper place in the dynamic - or improper one but the point is the dynamic is the dynamic when they sit opposite each other and Dean's opted out and flopped back against the wall instead of sitting where he normally does when he and Sam are in balance. Sam's connection to his seat has some other flavours of his side of the codependency issues but largely about his lack of assertiveness or getting too messed up about saving Dean, so we'll see

-

AAAH Sam is sitting one seat over as well.

I know it's a free table but there's 8 seats and REMARKABLY little flexibility about it.

Dean's wearing a black henley which is also baaad news. *pats him on the head and follows with a blanket*

-

Sam stands (or sits) his ground

-

Dean, gosh, I don't like when the camera follows you because this is probably going to be awful for my heart.

We also have not really had his POV much this ep except the Asmodeus chat up scene

He's mostly reacted. Like he thinks Jack is only reacting.

I DON'T LIKE THIS SCENE

PROTECT JACK FROM HIMSELF TOO

I hope he was just being curious like a super amped up version of how Kira on Orphan Black found out she has super healing powers so sliced her own arm open while being scared and fascinated with what she was and pissed off the adults wouldn't tell her anything but this was gross and violent and pls protect Jack because that was awful.

Dean's suitably horrified though because he has to contemplate Jack is just as freaked out and lost as he is about this whole thing because this is a gross and horrifying way to show that Jack is as fucked up and lost as the rest of them. I don't think he was actually trying to kill himself esp. because he knew the angel blade already stabbed him and did nothing and even if he doesn't know what it is and why that's signficant he knows he didn't die of something that should have killed him... I hope it's just childlike curiosity mixed with bleak existential horror as he comes to understand how much he doesn't understand himself even in the context of the world he's in...

-

OH NO

but also good lines of dialogue they acted super well. Jack is starting to think he can't be saved if Dean doesn't think it and is silently asking him to do it because he doesn't want to hurt people and oh gosh this isn't 10x09 at all where Deran asked Cas to do it to him... But completely different emotional landscape where Dean WOULD do it and wants to and Jack is only just starting to doubt himself and wonder if he would hurt people and the important thing is not like Dean thinking there was a line he would cross and half-tricking Cas into saying he'd do it by asking him for a favour first, but Cas not being able to oblige him in 10x22... This is Jack being such a good pure piece of nougat that he's SCARED of what he is and what he can do and beginning to think that he might need to be killed esp. because Dean thinks so and this has been a bad day for him... even though again his nature shone through, Dean thinks it was a "sneeze" and Jack still doesn't have a developed enough moral compass to understand what he did except that we can see it was a good thing.

-

And final shot Jack reflected in the mirror all bloody and sad and I need to zoom in on that later to see his face because like magic the sun is out again when I want to look at the screen.

-

End episode here. Good. That means Dean angstily listening to music is in 13x03 almost for sure because I want it to be (uh, sorry that's not science :P) but it would be a great Berens to Berens chat with self about 9x14 and Dean angstily listening to music there.

I am not actually where were we are any more except powering towards London, but I'm gonna put my laptop away because they're still topping up the champagne and I just survived a BL episode where nothing so awful happened that I can see the fandom outrage from a million miles away and the worst I can say is that they are an exposition machine and I wish they had more nuanced dialogue because in someone else's hands that character stuff would have been delivered well rather than just delivered :P

[bhlland]

s/p The Fourth Year

It’s to some extent humorous upon reflection… since my return journey from the charming hustle and bustle of mellifluous Charlottesville back to the hinterlands of sentimentally-sweet albeit considerably isolated Fredericksburg, I’ve found this fight for faith to be exhaustibly bothersome. And to be vulnerably forthright, my inceptive response to finishing my final bout of undergrad exams was not one of excitingly poring through my Bible and catching up on all the quiet time entries that I unwisely pushed off. Even less so was my reaction to community-less lifestyle one of enamoring myself with Jesus when my heart felt the most empty.

The most dangerous type of sentiment a Christian could feel is unembellished apathy. At least when the Christian finds himself incessantly grappling with God to figure out his divine schemes and why they are necessary, there is a clear indication of concern in that struggling believer’s heart. To get to the bottom of the mess. To extract hints of higher meaning embedded by a Creator so vastly superior and meticulous and caring who could motivate even the most inquisitive heart to believe again once more in that which seems to teeter on the edge between plausibility and irrationality.

When the Christian’s heart becomes flooded by indifference, what argument can one proffer to stimulate that heart back to life? Sin becomes an even greater and sharper tool for hacking at the bases of spiritual foundation. 

If it wasn’t clear already, my enthusiasm for God has certainly waned over the course of the last several months. I haven’t been able to bring myself to open up my Bible since May. I have spent the past eight weeks and counting glued to my computer screen, endlessly ravaged by my repulsive appetite for pornography, among other vices. I am diffident to reaching out to people because I am haunted by their silent responses. And in it all, my prideful selfishness has done nothing but inflate for reasons who really knows why. 

What then remains after a brutal and seemingly unforgiving four years of pseudo-adulthood? To no one’s surprise: a soiled, irreverent sinner marked by disgrace who has heard the “God still loves you” message too many times to leave any lasting impression. In all that, one random pastor’s prayer is preventing me from already tossing away this whole journey like an inconsequential fluff of lint onto the stained carpet. He said plainly, “I don’t want to lose hope through what you have revealed to me through your Son, Jesus Christ.”

Jesus, you have been clear and intentional in your encounters with me thus far. And maybe I just need some time this Sunday evening to acutely muse over your grace-laden truths for me and for the masses. I don’t want to forget. And until I do, I don’t want to give up. And so... here’s to another year of thinking and dreaming about Jesus:

and appropriately enthralling sunrises that shimmer gold through never-ending hills and valleys layered by tree branch shadows,

effusively sentimental and humbling handmade posters decorated to splashy multicolored perfection for seriously undeserving college students who are just trying their best to help in raising up a younger generation,

totally rad friendmates who stretch the limits of groovy musicality on those pleasurable and way too few beginning-of-the-semester Saturday evenings,

special bros in Christ that never fail to let you know when they’re planning to swoop by and are assuredly joyful even when behind-the-scenes you can tell things might not seem all as put together as presented,

surprise sunsets over Scott Stadium after an unbearably tiring yet sincerely rewarding week of sweet encounters with swell new underclassmen buddies,

alumni folk who provide unexpectedly timely TLC in the form of Bodos bagels just because (and then silently dip out because they didn’t want to disturb our meeting — their generosity knows no bounds),

bright-minded friends who speak in colorful joy because Jesus has so evidently made an eternal home in their hearts that are entirely in tune with His vision for the poor and lost (as well as all those beautiful Vintage lunches providing warm, welcoming spaces those precious Friday afternoons),

suave buddies who unhesitatingly accept your invitation to conquer that next couple-hour-drive-away mountain trail because some Saturdays you just gotta get outta town and sweat out all the worries and doubts with a friend whose heart is willing,

glistening smiles from endearing rascals who keep your heart in the game when ministry becomes the toughest and the end goals seem so distant,

amicably youthful brothamen and sistaladies that make going to biostat lecture on TuTh afternoons probably worth it by keeping you company (and keeping you sane),

invites to an Oklahoma parents friend-party (aka an Oklahoma parents farty) with endless Chipotle catering, fulfilling small talk with never-before-seen UVA faces, and a random competition of musical chairs culminating in a sore bottom and a free lemon pie (with not one but TWO cans of whipped cream deluxe),

down-for-it concert partners that stick through the however-many-hours drive to Norfolk and back, serve as exemplars to the phrase “being lost in worship”, & speak freely and courageously about the goodness of Jesus,

endlessly-encouraging younger sisters in Christ that prove the unifying capacity of Jesus in the span of one late-night rendezvous (not to mention their aptitudes to create an elegant chalk aesthetic),

fortuitous map backdrops + special companions that dabble too in “secret” Alderman affairs (and wonders about what on Earth could be the reason for those precious luminous smiles?),

hope-full teammates that emanate gracious patience, cheerful leadership, and pertinent episodes of prayer when the times seem toughest,

ministry partners that egg your heart to keep going for just another week because the kids we get the privilege to encounter and teach each week are so immeasurably worth every iota of love we could even begin to muster,

one of the most beautiful moments I’ve ever witnessed of welcoming a non-believer into the faith community (courtesy of close to 100 strangers coming together at St. Paul’s at 10pm during finals week equipped with streamers, cake, letters, and a whole lot of gospel-rooted love),

gentle-hearted daughters of God who welcomingly invite you to the dinner table to break slices of some of the most deliciously-crafted pizza we can afford to order and taste together (including but not limited to deep dish convos about faith and its accompanying difficulties),

pleasantly unexpected last-minute Text-a-Toasty encounters at Kellogg with inquisitive hearts that provide as many answers as they do questions,

refreshing monthly Theological Horizons forums supplied with tasty sandwiches and even fresher advices and insights into the intersections between faith and occupation,

restoring get-away moments at anointed retreat center locales where you come in questioning it all and at the brink of falling over and yet come out being graciously pointed in a smoother, calmer direction with Jesus leading the way, step-by-modest-step,

sloppy unanticipated final moments with hurting loved ones who reserve the right to eat the whole 호떡 (whose Life is precious and favored and remembered, from then until now until whenever),

husband-wife worship nights filled with collective echoes of admiration and obedience to the Lord that gives us the breath to sing in the first place,

last minute egg-stuffing seshes with highly motivated and quick-fingered peers, mutually devoted to see those cherished young souls become true egg-hunting masters the following Easter Sunday,

midnight inter-fellowship praise rehearsals with dedicated folks that remind me every time to believe deeply in the sovereignty of a God that is able to bring together cultures and differences because He is the center of all that we do and look to,

scenic explorations of hidden walkways and waterfronts post-pigging out at pho restaurants and donut shops (still with some room for overpriced gelato en route back to the good ol’ UV of A),

heartwarming notes and thoughts and memories from dear underclassmen buddies, bundled up and saved, because they are more than special enough to be read two and three and four times over and counting,

end-of-the-semester worship night tear-downs and wrapping-ups, all the credit and thanks to the incredible worship team members, Andrew and his youthful heart, the wonderful pastors of the local Korean Community Church for agreeing to graciously host, and the remarkable congregation whose hearts were spurred to seek and respond,

well-meaning professors who go above and beyond in their convictions for teaching and learning and remain totally all-in for their students from the get-go to the finish line and then some,

zealous teammates who share words like treasured seeds that seep beneath the spaces of the heart and germinate into stalks of encouragement and wisdom in the now and in the what’s to come,

impassioned youth (from middle school to college-bound) that confront their challenges and cynicism with faith head on, for ones that are unafraid to delve deep into the messiness of belief,

closing chapters filled to the brim with affectionate remembrances, lessons learned and still learning, and hopes for newer and fresher encounters with Jesus,

magical afternoons where all worries are cast aside and all that remains and all that matters is the present, carefree, plainspoken exchange with solid peeps that just understand even when you don’t,

and last but assuredly not at all the least of it all, here’s to the gang that heals my heart from even the most painful of bruises. Time stops and even rewinds a couple years with these special buddies. The only regret I have from this Friday is that I only placed 2nd in mini-golf. Until the next wacky late-night rendezvous and heart-to-heart in the church kitchen.

The all-inclusive table of Jesus is evidence to me that God indeed shows no favoritism between the brushed-up pious follower of Jesus comfortably welcomed into the group to the unstable guy that wears his train wreck on his sleeve and doesn’t fit in. You and I, and them and the rest, are all invited. Teach me more, Jesus. I want to keep learning from you.