#and FUCK even if someone wants their posts to only be interacted with feminine gendered ppl who gives a hoot

[trannydykes]

saw a post saying that putting 'men dni' in ur bio/whatver is ignorant/phobic against multigender ppl, like if you want to be included in the men group you have to be excluded when ppl dont want you around

ppl who feel uncomfortable interacting with men (queer or not) should be able to state that without someone thinking its a targeted attack against their identity

[hesitantvampirealien]

notifications disabled for this post. Send me any potential corrections through the asks or private messages.

I know i said I wouldn't do public angry rants anymore, but this is a nevessary rant. I ask you to read the entire text before interacting with the post (obviously)

stop misgendering gerard on purpose

you know very well what kind of person you sound like when you do that.

it's just lowkey comical (if not enraging) how some refer to them with the one pronoun they don't use, as far as I'm aware at least, but I've never seen anyone say they used all, only he/they, if I'm wrong you can tell me (but I'll need a RELIABLE source to what you say to make sure you're not just making shit up to have the right to disrespect someone without being rightfully scolded), so using "she" just makes you incredibly disrespectful. Like... you think a he/they can't wear a dress? you think a he/they can't show femininity? you think a he/they isn't allowed to not look like a straight cis guy all the time? You think just because someone doesn't use a male label then they automatically must be female and can't just be neither, or use no labels at all? You think a person can't be happy showing fenininity if they're not a woman? you think that's not possible? you think that's WRONG, perhaps? because THAT is what you sound like. Not only to me, but to many people that I've seen complaining inumerous times about this INSANE disrespect

following the same logic, do you think, for example, because I'm wearing makeup in most of my photos and don't fit in one particular binary gender, i don't have your permission to be a he/him and i have to be what YOU say i should be? because that's what you sound like when you do that

and i can already tell someone's gonna be butthurt and tell me I'm exaggerating so they don't have to feel shame for being a disrespectful little bitch. Gerard is a person, not a fucking character you can headcanon things about.

Not to mention that this kind of disrespect is one of the reasons why some masc or neutral trans people also feel extremely unsafe wanting to use or do things considered feminine, because look at how you're fucking treating a person that you don't even actually know. It's not 100% correlated (well... it is, a little bit) but don't even get me started on the shit my masc or neutral fellas have to go through because of people who very obviously also love to give them a hard time just because they don't fit in your "preferred gender label" and make them feel like shit for existing because you keep throwing them in the same pit as cishet men who fuck things up and say all of them are the same (newsflash, you're being just as oppressive as the cishet men). Like, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry) but most of you, if not all of you, are those exact same people, who do the exact same things and behave the same way, you're just doing it in different intensities. Just go fuck yourself already, seriously. I genuinely mean it with all my heart.

if I'm wrong about the he/they, do tell me and show me the reliable source so i can be sure that I'm actually wrong and can correct myself properly, but I'll most likely keep the post up since i also brought up another issue regarding this kind of disrespect.

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[rollercoasterwords]

different anon, but i thought we all agreed canon remus is a timid, sheltered boy? unlike the fanon's alphamale remus. i think that was an important point. don't know why you said like it was a personal interpretation. and i think when the anon called it fanon toxic heteronormative wolfstar, they meant the r & s in your fic are alphamale-ed remus & abused, shorter sirius. you can make disabled remus fight, but the alphamale-ification of him is. i think we writers should try to not spread that remus. man, i don't think you have to agree with the anon or me, you do you and we do we. sent it just to clarify a few stuff

you guys have caught me in a bad mood so fine let's get into it lmao

"i thought we all agreed canon remus is a timid, sheltered boy?"

well, you thought wrong!! generally speaking if you're saying "i thought we all agreed..." about something in fandom, you are wrong. this space is huge and there are tons of different interpretations of canon. i don't like all of them, but you know what i do when i don't like someone's interpretation? i unfollow them or block them or simply scroll past their post or don't read their fic!! it is sooooooo easy to ignore a stranger on the internet's take on harry fucking potter c'mon now

that being said, the idea that remus is "sheltered" in canon is laughable to me. that kid became a werewolf at six years old, he was forced to deal with the harsh realities of the world wayyyyyy before any of his friends. and i guess you could interpret him as timid, maybe, but i personally don't!! professor lupin in the books is incredibly vivacious, sarcastic, funny--plus, he spent his youth fighting voldemort + death eaters. none of that screams "timid" to me.

and, again, even if that was my interpretation of canon remus, this is not a canon-compliant fic. i am specifically putting the characters in a universe where voldemort won and they grew up separately, without all going to hogwarts together, and exploring my interpretation of how their personalities would change. remus in this world is definitely not fucking sheltered and he literally could not be timid if he wanted to survive. you don't have to read the fic if you don't like seeing him that way!

unlike the fanon's alphamale remus. i think that was an important point. don't know why you said like it was a personal interpretation.

again, the idea that "the fanon" is a single united entity is laughable. there are tons of fanon interpretations of remus. you can choose not to interact with the ones you dislike!!! and i said the "sheltered and timid" thing was a personal interpretation because it is.

and i think when the anon called it fanon toxic heteronormative wolfstar, they meant the r & s in your fic are alphamale-ed remus & abused, shorter sirius.

let's just say what you mean here: you think interpretations of r + s where one is more "feminine" and one is more "masculine" are heteronormative. i think that's bullshit! the idea that gay couples where one is more feminine and one is more masculine are "heteronormative" is the shit that's been ostracizing + marginalizing butches + feminine gay men within the queer community for literal decades--genuinely, it was (and continues to be, apparently!) a huge lesbophobic talking point in feminist circles that butch/femme relationships were un-feminist because butches were basically just "mimicking straight men." not only that, but it leads to pretty blatant transphobia on account of, y'know, trying to police people's gender presentation based on how you think someone of their gender is meant to present. so i don't have ANY fucking patience for this discourse and if you try to bring it to my blog you will get blocked.

and i'll address the idea that remus in my fic is an "alphamale" in a second, but for now--what about having one person be shorter and one person be taller in a relationship makes it heteronormative?? are short people automatically feminine to you?? and what about having one party being abused makes a relationship heteronormative?? is being abused an inherently feminine trait?? i'd recommend thinking about what exactly you're trying to claim here before you bring it to my askbox.

you can make disabled remus fight, but the alphamale-ification of him is. i think we writers should try to not spread that remus.

first of all, i think the idea that The Fandom is spreading some sort of plague of "alphamale remus" is silly. The Fandom is not a monolith; the majority of blogs + writers i follow portray him as a wet sock. so if you're being inundated with "alphamale remus" content that you don't like, start learning to use the block button.

beyond that, the interpretation that remus is an "alphamale" in my fic at all just tells me that both you and the first anon have not read the fic in its entirety. the only reason i can imagine that the first anon even brought that up is the fact that remus is in a werewolf fighting ring and acts flirty with sirius when they first meet. we get an entire chapter from remus's perspective where we learn that this is a specific persona he has had to adapt to survive, and we also learn that he is fighting in this werewolf fighting ring for reasons that are specifically tied to the way he is marginalized in this fictional society. the fic spends a ton of time exploring the way his marginalization has shaped his life and i spend over 20k words writing his pov in his head demonstrating that his anger comes from that marginalization, and that the "aggression" he is interpreted as having is a) partially stereotyping because he's a werewolf and b) partially a persona he has to adapt to survive in the werewolf fighting ring. again, if you don't like reading him like that then you don't have to read the fic. but the idea that fighting other werewolves specifically as a facet of the ways in which werewolves are oppressed in this society is something that makes him an "alpha male"....i mean if that's what you're taking away from it then i simply don't want you to read my fics in the first place.

man, i don't think you have to agree with the anon or me, you do you and we do we. sent it just to clarify a few stuff

the first anon literally asked me to rewrite my fic. sure, i could have just ignored the message and blocked them, and maybe i should have--but like i said, you guys caught me in a bad mood, and this is my blog, so. to answer that ask, i actually did have to disagree with them, because i had to say, "no, i will not rewrite the fic." and you've put me in a position where i actually do have to disagree as well, by saying stuff like "i thought we all agree," where not saying anything would be tacit agreement when i don't agree. i will do me, and i suggest you and the first anon go do you far away from that, because it seems like it would be better for everyone involved! i don't really care if you think you were being polite or helpful with this message; i didn't need you to clarify, and i did not need the holier-than-thou moralizing about what "we writers" should do when it's not even something i'm doing.

again, i don't care if people don't like my fic. just don't read it!!!! and just don't follow this blog!!! there is literally zero point in sending me messages like this nitpicking interpretations, especially not when the crux of your issue is that i'm making wolfstar "heteronormative," an argument that is deeply rooted in homophobia and transphobia. felt like ranting tonight, but generally speaking i will just block anyone who brings that shit into my askbox.

[batfambyval]

So usually I just stick to writing fics but I’m not getting anywhere on this so imma just post some random Anarky thoughts here.

I think Lonnie is AFAB. Transitioned at a young age because they didn’t feel comfortable with feminine shit. Realized as the got older they weren’t totally masculine either and created Anarky, an identity with no gender who represents all the people. Men, women, non-binary folk, children. They decided to forgo figuring out their own identity and instead turned themself into a representation of everyone else. They decided that their goals and ideologies were more important than their gender identity and to forget all that bullshit. And accidentally discovered that if you stop worrying about gender you free yourself from it and become your truest self.

I think Lonnie still uses he/him pronouns and only uses they/them as Anarky because Anarky is supposed to be a representation of the people and therefore is plural and ungendered.

I think Lonnie would never have a sexual relationship with someone who he didn’t have an emotional or intellectual connection with but I don’t think he’s demi. He’s totally internally going “fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck, why is he so hot?!?” When he’s interacting with Robin before they get closer.

Tim totally found Lonnie because he was completely confident that he cut that line. He did not miss. He doesn’t fucking miss! Anarky has to be alive because Tim does not miss. So he looks for Anarky and just shows up at his place. Idk what happened next.

I think Tim and the dog are the only beings Lonnie interacts with as Lonnie. With everyone else they are Anarky. Lonnie isn’t always representative of the people when he’s alone or just chilling so when he’s not Anarky he’s just Lonnie and he has his own interests and idiosyncrasies and just doesn’t care how anyone perceives him and therefore doesn’t care about pronouns or what he’s called. If he’s only representing himself then it doesn’t really matter. Especially since hardly anyone even knows Lonnie exists at all.

Tim and Lonnie grate on each other’s nerves for a while, before they get used to each other. They are just so different from an ideological standpoint but so similar in a lot of other ways that they can’t understand why the other doesn’t see things the same way. But they end up being good for each other because they are both geniuses and see each other as equals intellectually and can’t write one another off. They have to listen to each other and they learn to understand each other’s perspectives and soften their edges a bit. Tim teaches Lonnie how to look at money from the perspective of someone who has it and wants to do good with it and Lonnie teaches Tim how to look at the power structures that make up our society and see how incredibly unjust and broken they are.

Tim totally teaches Lonnie to skateboard and they’re both skater boys.

If anyone wants to use any of these ideas please link it in the comments or reblog because I would love to read it!

[doodlepede]

We dont really interact much but you usually interact with my posts about whipping girl and i just need to get this out to someone because I'm going crazy you don't have to respond or anything I'm just ranting "Of course, feminine traits that arise from our adult hormonal makeup are relatively easy to categorize as biological, as one can experience the corresponding changes firsthand via hormone therapy. In contrast, other feminine traits that have biological input —such as those that may be hardwired into our brains from birth—are more difficult to discern. Two possible examples of this include feminine aesthetic preferences and ways of expressing oneself. Evidence that these tendencies may be hardwired comes from the fact that they typically appear very early in childhood and often in contradiction to one’s socialization (both for children whose parents attempt to raise them in a unisex or gender-neutral fashion, and for boys whose families actively and aggressively steer them away from feminine expression). This indicates that some aspects of feminine verbal and aesthetic expression precede and/or supersede gender socialization" And I have so much to say this is fucking wild it feels like she sees masculine expression as the default and so feminine expression is automatically different and must have some explanation Its weird to be that she thinks gender expression is hardwired into brains when it can and does change for people its not just a static thing she ignores trans men/masc and gnc women only mentioning boys also weird to me that she puts kids being raised gender neutral or gender free on basically the same level as literal abuse like it just seems like more enbyphobia like she expects everyone to fit in masculine and feminine and man or woman and people who don't are somehow bad and contributing to transphobia and transmisogyny its so weird to me and not at all seemingly based in the material reality that many people face

i saw a massive text wall in my inbox and got Scared for a second LOLOLOL okay my thoughts as i read

yeah i would say that traits which are affected by hormonal changes are biological. its a biological process occurring in a biological organism. its the way we (are compelled to) label them that is sociocultural. breasts happen because estrogen, female is just a useful functional label, and when you remember that intersex people exist, you will find it less and less functional for anything outside zoology and even then, masisve fucking asterisk im not gonna get into right now. ah well theres your issue, there are no feminine traits hardwired into the brain. youre prescribing a sociocultural label to a biological system. that's "brain gender", flawed and borderlike hack science and cornerstone to most transmeds of old (2018). "motherly instincts" are the same, applying sociocultural labels where they don't belong. many many many many mothers outright kill their children through neglect or abuse, so wheres the hardwired instinct gone? single fathers exist and are often superior parents than the mothers so wheres the femaleness gone? we are already doing a LOT of conflation between "female" and "feminine" and biology vs sociology but im getting a little ahead of her....

"feminine aesthetic preference" that's sociocultural. "ways of expressing oneself" sociocultural. yawn. "appear early in childhood" because they are taught by parents and peers who are 100000% aware of the need to conform to society because humans are a social species. i was Very aware of the way my female peers were trying to get me to conform from as young as FIVE. and before preschool, my parents were the ones making me wear pink dresses, when I preferred blue and orange. gender performance is learned behavior. even if your parents try to bring you up gender neutrally, you still have to go to school and interact with every other kid who very much isn't. kids are way more aware than shes giving them credit for, they want to fit in, and every second of gender neutral raising is defeated the instant that child meets two members of the same sex as themself, because those others will know he is male and treat him like one of their own, and they will learn that they're a he and boys are like them. or maybe they'll decide that theyre nothing like them. who knows, but the illusion is shattered regardless. am i strange for literally remembering my thoughts and feelings from the age of 5ish? because i do. + people can change their fucking minds later in life and its no less legitimate as people who made up their minds in their single digits. who are you to fucking tell them otherwise?

(notice the way she singles out boys for being aggressively steered away from feminity without a second of consideration for girls aggressive minding to be feminine? her lack of perspective or consideration for anyone's pov but her own is showing again, it really is no wonder transradfems fucking worship this shitass book)

yeah no god she 100% sees male as default like girl stop you're reinforcing patriarchy

if she were ftm, tumblr would see her for the transmed she is and be over it. i genuinely feel as though she and authors like her are given the benefit of the doubt because of her transfem bias and female gender like be so for real with me.

[ghxstmxchine]

Genuinely curious how you figure trans women can interact, but no other conception of fem alignment away from cis womanhood can. Are trans women not usually fem aligned? Why are they excluded from that ban? Are ONLY women and feminine nbies fem aligned somehow? What about the fem aligned cis men, moving back to self perception? This reads as a form of bigotry the word for which I can't articulate. I've been back on Tumblr for less than a week and these horrendous "dnis" for whole aspects of identity that you can't verify but for somebody's word and that everybody understands differently, dude. Good writing, policing the gender of those who interact with art though. What the fuck. How do artists even function anymore.

babes you're getting mad at someone who talks about how I barely ever enforce that rule, it's there for my comfort but at the end of the day idc

I allow trans fem readers to request and interact with content NOT bc I don't see them as women but because I believe in writing for communities often underrepresented and they are extremely rare in fanfic. this is mostly aimed at smut where they may find it uncomfortable to read fics that don't fit with how they are, while I normally keep my fluff pieces gender neutral bc I see no point in having a gender unless requested otherwise

although I have it as a rule on my blog, ppl are finding my writing mostly through other ways and never on a post with a gn reader do I have the disclaimer. if it's gn it's for everyone, I don't understand why someone would care to read a fic written for a masculine reader that doesn't represent them. but if they still do, I don't care, just don't come asking me to write smth

I don't go and block people bc I don't care to, that's for people to figure and and decide whether or not they fit under the guidelines to read the content

you're literally reaching to get mad when at the end of the day I don't fucking care, I just don't like when people fetishize mlm relationships which is still a big issue. I've run blogs that cater solely to male readers and if I'm not making it incredibly clear ppl will ignore it constantly. I have also written for fem readers in the past and found myself uncomfortable with it, especially when you open the option you'll get nothing but fem reader requests which I'm not comfortable with. I'll write for mtf readers only bc it's not a personal thing and instead me wanting to provide for a community rarely represented. pls go be mad at actual issues this rlly is not that serious

[bruderlieben]

You have both "women dni" and "non-men dni" in different areas of your blog, where do non-binary folk stand in regards to your blog? (Love your blog, but don't want to make you uncomfortable)

It's a slippery slope. Someone started a whole discussion on our old blog about "why do you not want people to interact with you just because they like a certain pronoun?"

I really don't want to return to that discussion, I'll be honest.

The reason we never give a clear answer is because it changes according to each alter.

We are queer in many different fashions. Most of us are aromantic, some of us fluctuate between hypersexuality and asexuality, some have a slight interest in women while most of us are gay men. The body is AFAB and we are currently transitioning (we started T before we knew we were a system), and 9/10 of our alters are queer men.

One of us might say "I'm fine with trans people of all genders interacting, even trans women, I don't mind sharing kink with trans people of all identities",

while another might say "ONLY TRANS MEN. NO CIS MEN, ONLY TRANS.",

while yet another might say "as long as they don't present femininely, even butch/masc lesbians would be fine".

What I'm trying to say is: the answer depends on who's fronting. We have a hard time agreeing on this ourselves. As a compromise, we just figured "non-men DNI", because we are mostly attracted to men. Masculinity.

We are in no position to judge how another person identifies. It's none of our business.

However, I (Ajax 🤍) am uncomfortable with the thought of women or fem-presenting people interacting with our very MLM homoerotic posts. I am not comfortable with being fetishized. I am not comfortable with women intruding in our sexual space. This content is not made for them, it's made for mascs and men. Women are allowed to say "men dni". We are, too.

This is not about misogyny; it's not about hating women or thinking lesser of them. This is about sexual and romantic preference. I don't want to see she/her users interacting with our sexual MLM content.

A quick guide by Ajax:

He/him: Fuck yeah, come in!

He/they: Yes! Go ahead!

They/them: Generally alright.

Neo pronouns: Generally alright.

She/him/they: Thin ice, might get blocked if we don't vibe with your blog.

She/they: No.

She/her: Absolutely not.

[azuresins]

*Builds a blanket fort, crawls inside, puts up a sign that says "Grelle Haters/transphobes do not interact with this post I am TALKING TO MYSELF PLEASE BE NORMAL THANK YOU*

This was pointed out a long, long time ago but it's never left my mind.

One thing I do miss about the anime adaptation S1, are a few of the filler-moments and Grelle interactions, specifically during the time when Grelle and Ciel were 'teaming up'... Ciel promised Grelle that if she helped him, Grelle could do anything they wanted with Sebastian.

And Grelle's immediate response was "...Even a kiss/kissing?" ... people, and even people who have worked on kuro content like the musicals, Season 2 (GODDDD), and other random material that's technically official... have been kind of quick to paint Grelle as this huge scary pervert, simply because what... They're outside of gender norms and that's what makes them predatory? Not that I dunno, they befriended a serial killer, and killed people who weren't supposed to die?

Ciel seemed pretty happy to allow Grelle full permission and access to do whatever they wanted with Sebastian and it doesn't really matter if he intended to make good on the promise or not, the point is all Grelle asked for was a kiss. They didn't ask to fuck him, some hot and steamy night or whatever (and we all know Sebastian fucks) they only asked for a simple kiss.

That's pretty innocent, all things considered. I think... she talks a big talk and walks a big walk, but she's probably a virgin, and after the laughs deep down she's actually extremely careful with her body, and who she takes to bed. IF she takes anyone to bed- I'm not actually sure she does, or not. I haven't seen a TON of fanwork, reflecting that very often and I can't say I blame fans for reacting that way because there's so much Grelle content out there but not much of it is connected to Manga canon at all... I just feel like that was a nice choice, on the part of the writers of S1.

It also warmed my stupid cold heart when Grelle stumbled upon a baby crying during the fire in london, and knelt to acknowledge it and tell it that she's not allowed to take it's life, just yet. People I think misunderstood that interaction and assumed they were being cruel or something-- I interpreted it as them acknowledging the infant and gently telling them, it wasn't their time, therefore it's possible someone else off camera rescued the baby and it got to live it's life. Some people are just really quick to assume the worst of them and I'm pretty sure 'degenerate' has been used to describe them before and I don't think that's fair, and I also don't see it.

When people pointed out in the past "but but but but Grelle tries to touch people without permission!" I take it with such a fat fucking huge grain of transphobic salt, because Madame Red full on rubs Sebastian's entire ass, RACHEL thought nothing of squeezing her own sisters tits, Sieglinde gropes Our!Ciel, I have NO idea whats going on with "Freckles/ Freckle Face" and their gender but they takes Our!Ciel's hand and make him grab their tit, and then there's all the filthy things Sebastian does. Not to mention the actual cultists/rapists, and kelvin who is an actual disgrace and sick fuck and Lao????????? I'm?????

Grelle all things considered is like THE LAST person in this manga I'd call a pervert. I know S1 isn't canon, and the plot kind of went off the rails... but I actually really liked those choices. PUT THEM BACK. 😠

In the manga and in official art drawn by Yana, I've noticed over the years Grelle has been drawn significantly more feminine, people who have never seen Grelle before can look at these pictures and not distinguish them from a cis woman... and I think that's a very nice choice, I just hope that we get more canon interactions with Grelle on a bit more of a personal level the way we did in S1, seeing as they're one of Kuro's more popular characters.

I find it an interesting choice that Othello has been just about the only character shown so far, that appears to be the most gentlemanly/respectful of her (and also hasn't tried to fight her/beat her lol) and for that reason... I think they're kind of cute, together and I hope they continue to be teamed up even if Grelle doesn't appear impressed or interested, I simply... can not unsee it. I am looking, I am NOTICING... very hard, and very respectfully in that ships direction even if it's kind of a rarepair and one-sided on Othellos part.

If William can stop beating her up for comic relief, that'd be great... but maybe I hope for too much. I think it'd be super, super, super funny if Grelle was gone for a few months, completed their transition and suddenly William fell all over his own ass and turned into a stuttering moron (because shes too beautiful) she was just, "Hiiii Will~ Gonna hit me again for filing my paperwork late? God forbid women do ANYTHING." And he was just. "Uh. --I'm.. -- No. That's enough. ////" I can see it very vividly in my head.

Anyway every time I talk about Grelle I get some weirdo in my askbox but I've been holding these thoughts in for quite some time...//////////

[masked-alien-lesbian]

I've been thinking, there are multiple ways in which the Choices fandom seems to not give a damn about wlw players and I think the gender coding issues is one of them.

When I see gender coding discussions on Reddit, most of the time it's trivial bullshit like male MC players complaining because their male MC stayed in feminine behaviors/roles like the female MC got put into. Male MC sat in the LI's lap, male MC walked down the aisle, male MC was saved by the LI, male MC acted gushy/"princessy", boo fucking hoo. Most of this is just lazy coding in general.

Rarely ever on that sub do I hear about the actual coding errors that straight up don't match with the chosen MC gender like "I now pronounce you husband and wife" for Hana and MC, male CA MC being called "thee my daughter" during the promposal, female Sam being called "dad", Paolo's "women don't belong in the workplace" bullshit despite that his daughter is marrying a female CEO, outfit descriptions that don't match the male AME MC's outfits, the fucking description of Surrender 2 initially referring to Pat as "husband".

And notice how majority of the actual coding errors take place in wlw routes? But they rarely get talked about. Deadass I've seen way more people complain about male MC getting walked down the aisle in AME than I have about MC and Hana getting pronounced "husband and wife".

When I really think about it, I'm very convinced that a lot of people believe that the female players (both wlm and wlw, lbr the wlm routes have their own different set of issues as well) "don't have it as bad" because every book in Choices has female MC options, like "well you're the ones PB is catering to so you can't possibly be having any real problems with the romance routes".

And don't get me wrong, I 100% sympathize with the people who want more GOC MCs. I'm very pro-GOC myself . It's clear that PB often does not care about their male MC players, but I am so tired of seeing that in regards to male MCs acting super-feminine as if wlw routes don't often have even more terrible coding and wlm routes don't constantly rely on pandering and gender stereotypes. If that makes sense.

I 100% agree with you! I think the reason why wlw issues with PB's books are downplayed so much on here and other sites like reddit, Twitter and so on is because gay guys and women who play as a male mc to romance the male LIs outnumber women who only romance the female LIs.

Also, I've noticed over the years of talking and interacting with other lesbians on tumblr that it seems like a lot of us are being bullied, harassed and chased off of the other sites and they're starting to do the same here on tumblr now. I just feel that there's a dwindling amount of lesbians in the choices fandom lately.

But I totally understand how tiring the coding is for wlw, everytime I make a post about it, there's always someone trying to speak over me in the comment section about how bad the coding is for mlm players. Like I get it lol! PB is lazy! But let me have my moment of ranting! Stop trying to silence us by telling us that we have it loads better! Plus, if you come onto a lesbian playchoices blog and try to talk over them about other issues, it's a lot like walking into a save the rainforest committee and asking, "well what about all the pollution in the oceans? Why do you not care about the oceans??" Like yes, there's a lot of stuff PB gets wrong with their obvious catering to wlm crowd and I feel for the male readers but for them to say that PB caters to lesbians JUST as much as wlm?? Lol nah they don't

[pandapupremade]

i bit and did the tumblr year in review. ill put it under a cut shits long

I posted 5,307 times in 2022

That's 860 more posts than 2021!

3,760 posts created (71%)

1,547 posts reblogged (29%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pandapup

@pandapearls

@penisbees

@myscaramouche

I tagged 5,288 of my posts in 2022

#kermit.txt - 3,153 posts

#ask to tag - 1,031 posts

#oc talk - 589 posts

#fave - 417 posts

#srb - 368 posts

#eye contact tw - 365 posts

#negative - 262 posts

#other art - 260 posts

#kermitart - 249 posts

#🐰 maria tag (familial) - 219 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but she's so fun with ryuo and i cannot and will not take away such a dynamic they are in love and they are both in love with me your honor

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

im abt to go to bed but i needed to drop the new story of seasons s/i. their name is bee and they are absolutely bonkers . completely off the walls. and so they are a match made in heaven for daryl <3 she's his assistant

52 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

#4

was watching episode 7 and had a realization

72 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

#3

See the full post

114 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#2

im sorry to be harsh but if you make f/o imagines about any serious irl events or tragedies i don't want you to interact with me. i understand people have good intentions but it's horrifying to see someone take devastating things happening to real people right now in real life, and put them into fiction in some cute support way. its not fictional, and should not be treated as such.

if you need a way to cope with what is happening, then this is not how you do it. This is not the right way to cope, nor is it a good way to show your support. there's places to donate to or support to give to people in other ways besides a fictional prompt. It's hard times and I get it - our f/os bring us comfort. But now is not the time for comfort through fictional prompts inspired by the irl situation. Now is the time to focus on the irl people who are affected, or at least to find and create prompts that aren't based on current events.

tl;dr please stop making selfship imagines based on serious, tragic, and or dangerous irl situations, whatever those situations may be. the events aren't fictional, and there is better ways to deal with your feelings and to support others.

138 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i know there's a lot of weight ppl feel to make their self inserts very like gender conforming but in the end I feel, as someone who makes so many s/is who look feminine or use different pronouns despite being trans men or at least masc leaning, that you should just have fun with your designs no matter what. like. I don't like dresses irl, they make me extremely dysphoric and upset...But I love putting them on my s/is, masculine or feminine appearing or even androgynous etc. so i do that. similarly, i only like he/him in real life, but whos gonna stop me from making she/her trans men? nobody. people could try, but fuck those people because its all pretend and is a good way to explore identity. I also have SO much more fun making "feminine" characters than I do masc, and I feel my s/have more life when I don't force a masculine look. but im still a trans man, my s/i is still a trans man, etc. selfship is about being free to explore yourself and also your funky little characters you feel so strongly for, who would accept you no matter what. be free

tl;dr pronouns and clothing and stuff are fake design your s/is how you want and what feels fun and comfortable for you whether or not it appliesto your irl self

139 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[glitchdollmemoria]

yknow on the topic of that it/its post, its really fucking frustrating that i cant usually feel comfortable calling my partner it/its in public when that is a pronoun set it uses. bc i dont want people flipping their shit being like "umm why are you calling your PARTNER an IT dont you LOVE uhh them her him um what other ones have you used again im confused haha help please" YOU IDIOT IM CALLING IT "IT" BECAUSE I LOVE IT!!!!! if you disrespect my wife i will HARM YOU IN SOME WAY

and fucking like. idk. i also use it/its among other pronouns, and i dont even tell people irl most of the time bc i know people tend to react poorly. and im just fucking tired of people using their discomfort to justify ignoring or even insulting aspects of another persons identity. and on the one hand i sorta get if someone has been traumatized by seeing trans people dehumanized by being called "it" or having experienced that dehumanization firsthand. i have literally been called an "it" before i started using these pronouns bc of my androgyny, i fucking used to live in the conservative usamerican south i KNOW this is a way that people dehumanize us.

but theyre still my pronouns. theyre still my partners pronouns. if we are actively saying, "these make us comfortable, these make us happy" then that is NOT the same as some bigot who doesnt see us as people.

and im gonna try to word this next part carefully, bc i dont want to give the impression that i dont care about the trauma that comes with transphobes using it/its to dehumanize us. but at the same time... he/him, she/her, and they/them are all ALSO used to deny us our human autonomy. they are all used to insult and debase us depending on the circumstances. those people who make a point to call trans people by the wrong pronouns? the ones who specifically paint transmascs as Stupid Confused Foolish Women because our ~womanly brains~ are just too small to understand that we arent men, the people who make this point with a firm "she"? the ones who do the same to transfems, painting them as dangerous and aggressive, and misgendering them specifically to make that point? even to some degree the people who dont want to correctly gender any of us because we dont fit their standards for a Real Man or a Real Woman, but they still want to come off as liberal and supportive and progressive and a Good Ally, so they just call us all "they" instead of actually respecting who we are, and insist on still doing this even when explicitly told not to?

all of them weaponize one pronoun or another to cause us harm. all of them use "acceptable" (or at least SOMEWHAT "acceptable" in the case of they/them) pronouns to harm us, to deny us the autonomy to make our own choices about our bodies and lives and existences. it/its is NOT the only one.

i have been hurt by people insistently calling me "she", by people calling others in my community "she", it has been weaponized against me to the extent that im only just beginning to unpack and accept my femininity as a nonbinary person after a decade of knowing i wasnt cis. the weaponization of she/her pronouns has caused lasting psychological effects that have, perhaps permanently, altered the way i view myself and how i interact with the people around me. and NONE OF THAT DAMAGE justifies me telling anyone that im not comfortable using she/her for them, no matter the circumstances, because i dont get to decide what pronouns someone else uses!

again: i know theres still a difference between those examples and it/its. but its not as MUCH of a difference as people act like it is, and its frustrating to have to keep a part of my and my partners identities hidden away just because other people dont find those parts acceptable. its fucking tiring. i want to live as myself - as a person who has reclaimed feelings of inhumanity - and i want my partner to live as itself too. im. tired.

[elkkiel]

Just let me ramble out my stream of consciousness for a second lol. The idea that "cis people don't wish they were trans" hit me like a fucking train a few years ago, despite knowing about/relating to many aspects of the general non-binary experience.

The concept of being non-binary always enamoured me, right from the moment I learned it was A Thing. I remember times from my teens wishing so badly that I could be perceived as gender neutral, or wanting to be considered GNC despite being comfortable with my feminine presentation. I had instances where I made up stories about being they/them'd outside of school, just to see if my other queer friends (I already knew I was mspec around 12 y/o) agreed with how this imaginary stranger saw me. There were countless momente where I didn't understand why I felt... gross? wrong? out of place? when someone would refer to me as a daughter, a sister, etc.

The big thing that always stuck out to me as a facepalm "duh, moron" moment was ranting to my transmasc best friend (who regularly ranted to *me* about figuring out the nuances of his gender) on the bus home from school one day. I desperately needed someone else to understand that, if it were up to me, the thought of my gender wouldn't even subconsciously come up in someone's mind. I would just be me—as if the whole concept of gender could be completely erased the moment anyone interacted with me. Like, you hear stories from women who hate being women because of xyz reason, which gets used for "counterpoints" against trans folks who get called confused or struggling with internalized misogyny. But it goes a hell of a lot deeper than I ever realized, and in a much different direction as well.

Again, I only connected the dots a few years back when I saw a post like this one. It was like the last piece of the puzzle clicked into place. I no longer hate myself, thinking I must be mocking trans folks like some sort of pick-me, not-like-the-other-girls type trying to be special and quirky. Turns out I'm just not fucking cis lmao.

[lily-drake]

Going 2 b honest it's kind of weird of u 2 assume those of us who use it/its don't know the implications that might come from that . For some of us its reclaiming it (plenty of us got called "it" as children for looking a bit 2 transgender or being a bit 2 autistic or weird or gay) for some of us we don't care. Some ppl use it because their genders r more complicated than "man" "woman" or "nebulous other/none". Some ppl use it because they r therians/kin/etc but that is not my experience so I can't speak on it. It's not rlly ur business 2 decide what we deserve 2 call ourselves. I mean if u want 2 misgender ppl that's its own problem but assuming u don't want 2. Don't patronize us and assume we don't know what we're doing. Most of us aren't children and we r perfectly capable of understanding what we r saying. I hope u never interact with someone who uses it/its because its literally not that fucking deep

It is deep though. I am deeply sorry for the people who were constantly called and referred to as “it” throughout their childhoods and lives. That’s a heartbreaking thing and I can only imagine the pain each individual felt when being referred to as such. It’s heartbreaking to know that many of the people were not truly seen as humans, and it truly is a travesty of our modern age.

I know many of the people don’t understand the implications of the word as a majority asking to be called “It” are in fact children. Children that don’t fully comprehend right from wrong, that don’t fully comprehend truth from fiction, children that simply can’t understand the meaning because their brains are still not yet full developed. If you don’t trust a 10-year-olds to drive safely by themselves as they don’t fully comprehend the dangers of the road, if you don’t trust a 13-year-olds to comprehend the consequences of getting filler/injection as they are still underdeveloped puberty wise, if you don’t trust a 16-year-olds to be able to comprehend what it takes to take care of a family; then you shouldn’t trust them to comprehend the decision they are making to willingly dehumanize themselves, to be at war with themselves constantly, never knowing who they truly are.

Gender isn’t actually that complicated. See “gender” was created for the use of languages and languages alone! For example Latin uses genders to refer to masculine, feminine, and neuter nouns and verbs, and where all Romance Languages are derived from Latin, they follow similar patterns! For example Agriculae means “The Farmer” and because it ends in “ae” the word is masculine; Stella means “A Star” and because it ends in “a” the word is feminine; Verbum means “A word” and because of the “um” the word is neuter. Gender was never used to describe a person, nor was it ever meant to, it’s just for the words themselves. And as for sex, well simply put, there are only 2 sexes as proven by science.

Animals also only have 2 sexes which are male and female. So even if someone finds that they wish to be more animalistic, they would still be either female or male.

I will call people by what they are. I hold respect for the person, but that does not mean I have to respect their choices; and I expect the same in return. When I made that post I already knew someone would tell me to kill myself, which a person did. I knew that I would be insulted and told to grow up, which many people did. I knew that people would talk down to me and try to guilt trip me, which did happen. Despite this, I hold no grudge and I will continue to talk in a respectful manner. I believe that everyone has an important purpose in life, that each person is imperfect (myself included), but even so everyone can create beautiful and important things no matter what. Most importantly, I believe that real and objective truth is one of the greatest things we hold in this life. For if we can not see the world through the lens of reality, there is nothing left in this world that can ever be viewed as true and beautiful ever again. Where truth has been covered up, chaos and cruelty will reign in its place. I often hear people say that “God made a mistake”, but that would imply that God is some bumbling oaf that doesn’t know his left from right. God is a perfect being, He has never, nor can He ever, make a mistake. If you don’t believe in God, then it must be even harder. To constantly be war with yourself, to never be at peace with oneself is a heartbreaking thought. To never trust your mind, to curse your soul, to choose to remain in confusion and darkness…I can only imagine how painful that must be. I send all my love and all of my prayers to these people, because they deserve happiness; but more importantly they deserve the peace and assurity that comes with truly accepting oneself for who you are, not who you think you “should be”.

Thank you for taking the time to read through this, and please know I am open to having a peaceful and open discussion. There is nothing wrong with a disagreement nor civil debate. I hope that even if we can not come to an agreement I hope that we can at least see eye-to-eye and that both of us can come to an understanding.

[leviathanverse]

This isn't a matter of "differing beliefs" that we can all "ignore and get along" when her belief is that she wants us dead. She supports people who want us dead. She likes and agrees with tweets literally saying that we deserve to be dead.

By the way, the idea of there being only two genders, at least in the modern sense, is a white myth rooted in colonialism. At least two of the people who reblogged calcium cat's post to express their upsetness were native people, one of them (zenpai-art) explained with detail that the tradition of not comforming to someone's birth gender has been a part of native culture in hundreds of separate tribes across the world going back thousands of years. Other cultures do this and have done this for thousands of years too. Who are you to tell random groups of black and brown people they cannot celebrate their culture because white Christians think they're secretly wrong?

One of them (sunnemona) said they were intersex. What gender are they, then, since you can only pick one of two?

Definitely not transgender. But it is a rare phenomenon that happens to almost only 10% of the population. And yes, intersex is a phenomenon that isn't transgender. It is something that scientists are still trying to figure out.

Just because she follows and likes those people and stuff doesn't mean she wants you dead. I, too, am Christian and believe what the bible says. I believe what God says about there only being man and woman. The rest is just something humans had come up with.

Second of all, do you know how many of you tried to turn me into someone I DON'T want to be by force? I might sound transphobic, but you have to respect others for their choice, opinions and beliefs.

Why can't you all accept that there are people that disagree with you? Arguing with me for having a similar belief to Cal won't get you anywhere.

This whole being offended by someone's different belief and choice is just utterly ridiculous, not to mention that it looks absolutely childish.

If you have nothing better to say then leave that person alone, or even block them! I don't support LGBTQ+. I have friends that are part of that community. And what were their reaction? They didn't give a fuck. Even my transgender friend didn't give a fuck.

It isn't what is based on their likes and follows but how they interact with you as an individual. I respect people, but I don't respect people who are trying to achieve something from me.

My final answer to intersex is that it is a rare phenomenon that happens. And it isn't something that you can call transgender, just because you have both male and female organs.

So, no, it isn't trans. It is just a phenomenon scientist are trying to better understand. If they want to stay as intersex, then good for them. But that doesn't mean that they are part of the LGBTQ. If they choose to be part of it, then good for them! I respect that.

But trying to ask me what gender an intersex person is, is actually very good you asked me that!

Some people have a different variety of being intersex. Some have XXY, some have the reproductive organs outside and some have the two reproductive hormones on the inside. If you did your research, then you would see that it has become a medical problem and not a natural. Intersex babies are assigned a gender at birth by parents. There are always those that have a more feminine or masculine look. Allowing them to choose which gender they want to be- say that they are around 18 or younger- puts pressure on them. If they want to be female, then they can be female. If they want to be male? No problem. Why? Because it is a natural phenomenon and not something that some people are influenced to do surgically. If they want to remove the extra male or female reproductive organs, then they can by surgery. Some people have decided to identify as intersex.

Transgender is something ENTIRELY different. It is done surgically and not because it is a natural phenomenon like intersex. A girl wants to become a boy? Surgery. Same goes to males. Transgender is a label that mankind has made- the other genders too. And the " I identify as..." part.

I personally don't have a problem with adults wanting to become trans. I just have a problem when it is CHILDREN at a younger age! For me, personally, twenty is the appropriate age to decide to be trans. Why? Simple: the brain is then fully developed. Not to be considered "transphobic" but that is my personal opinion. These days, everything is considered transphobic. I don't mind if you are trans at a young age- teens- but I just don't think that, that is the appropriate age to decide to be trans.

The point is, I listen to both sides and I have already chosen my side. Backlashing at someone is not right. Calling them a bigot is ABSOLUTELY not right. I have the right to have a choice of who I want to listen to, and who I don't want to listen to.

The world is changing and I don't believe it is for good reason. You have to accept that I view things differently than you, and that I am a person who is different. And mind you I listen to biological things. Like there being biologically being only two genders.

I am DONE being suffocated by people making me question myself! And I am MOST CERTAINLY done staying silent! I don't want to keep quiet and let people think I am a person with no purpose and assume I support LGBTQ! I want to be my own person, want to make my own decisions and live carefree. It is difficult when people are trying to force you to become someone who you aren't comfortable with or don't want to become!

I am just a human being who respects people. But those who dont accept reality of people being who thwy are? You lose my respect. People backlashing at creators for being who thwy are and respecting you? You can guess the answer.

People change for the better or worse. You have to accept it and not lash out on people disagreeing with you, or who believe different things. I am disappointed in Gen Z, my very own generation. I mean- where is the moral: " We will be a better genera tion!" and " We won't judge others for their choice and who they are!" Where are those morals? This generation is making me realize how judging people are and how people seek out ways to backlash at people for being different or disagreeing with you.

If you leave me alone, then I'll leave you alone. As simple as that.

If this was transphobic, then leave me the heck alone. This an opinion, and an explanation for intersex and why it isn't viewed as trans. Sorry, let me rephrase. This is MY opinion and how I view everything. This is MY explanation for intersex with facts.

[tiphansia]

Stupid rant lol

It sucks how sometimes supposed acts of allyship hurt someone you're trying to be an ally to. These days more and more people are defaulting to they/them when they're unsure of a person's gender. Which, cool yay whatever. But whenever someone calls me they or them no matter the reason it makes me incredibly angry, profoundly sad, bitter, etc just generally not good at all. People often they/them me online especially in "progressive" spaces and it sucks so much. I know I know utilitarianism dictates it and all that but it just really sucks. There's nothing that can be done either unless everyone went back to using he as the default, which I would like but it would suck for a lot of people so I can't in good conscience wish that. My solution is to act in such a way and present myself in such a way that people assume he/him, because it relieves me from having to outright state my pronouns which I hate to do (and it would also make me so suspicious, I don't like people to know or think I'm trans). I've been in a discord server with someone for months, he knows me we interact daily and I thought he correctly assumed he/him for me through my whole online presentation as he'd gendered me correctly before. But today we were in a voice channel with some other people and he started to use he for me, then quickly said "they, I shouldn't assume". Instant horrible feeling. I can only use the nomic channel to communicate back because for obvious reasons I can't speak, I quickly wrote "it's he fyi :/" but I think I made it worse for myself because my directly stating my pronouns I've just made myself suspicious. What cis person says their pronouns like that. It's so upsetting because anything I say about it will just make things worse so I have to man up and not say anything but it's in my nature to keep talking until things seem "fixed" so it's hard to say nothing haha. And later on someone was saying how dumb these new pronouns are, why can't people use they/them and he was a bro said all the right stuff. Sometimes I'm glad I can't speak because otherwise I would've had to publicly agree with the other person in order to preserve my image and help people make the correct assumptions about me. I guess part of why I hate they/them used on me is because it very clearly tells me this person thinks I'm fucking weird. It reminds me of this post I rbed a few days ago about how asking for someone's pronouns in public seems like "allyship" but it just makes the person feel targeted. It's kind of like that. It's not like I'm a new server member that no one really knows well yet, I've been a core member for months. And yet I'm the only one that this person "didn't want to assume gender" for. Like thanks EVER so much. This is such a stupid rant I'm just so tired of it all. I try so incredibly hard to maintain my image so people assume correctly. Someone in that server called me "unmasculine" once so I asked him why and he said it was because I'm too nice so I've been acting meaner and less considerate and it still doesn't work because sometimes I crack and ask people if they're okay or express sympathy or insecurity or show emotions or reveal that I care what people think and it's all for nothing. Yeah I know it's messed up I don't care. I hate that it feels like it's for nothing. People will always see me as feminine no matter how hard I try. Fuck you. And you know what there's this girl in the server and for the longest time very few people believed her because she has this masculine aura I guess so everyone thought she was trolling. And I was the one being like "guys she's a girl lmao" because I could sense she was uncomfortable saying it herself until finally she was able to say it herself and then people used she/her for her. Even the ally guy refused to believe me until she finally said it herself. I'd give so much to be able to swap places with her lmao. Ugh whatever this is stupid. I wish I could stop caring but I've never been able to not care about anything.