#and Evan is still oblivious at first to being bisexual

[tevans-tits]

needed to add @rosyhoneydew ‘s tags

has anyone thought about newly turned 40 y/o tommy’s coworkers hiring a firefighter stripper as a gag gift for his birthday and in walks 26 year old evan “they call me firehose” buckley all long and lean and limber all over tommy’s lap who whines in his ear when their cocks brush mid lap dance and who makes tommy come in his pants. cause i’m thinking about it

[dadvans]

tease tidbit tuesday

tagged by @tiltingheartand, thank you! from an almost finished Tommy POV

They go surfing. Well, Evan surfs, and Tommy just kind of chills from the beach and gets a nice tan. It’s fun to watch Evan show off. He’s still baby deer nervous sometimes with Tommy, like he’s relearning how to walk, or like Tommy is the proctor of a Good Bisexual test, and Evan’s trying a little too hard to pass. But on the water it all fades away as all the overthinking he does melts off him, riding down the line.

He comes out of the water goofy on endorphins after a few waves and collapses cold and wet from the ocean on Tommy, who is warm and dry on his towel, smothering him with a kiss.

“You sure you don’t want a lesson? I’ve been told I’m a very capable teacher,” Evan says, voice dripping suggestively. “Worked my way up and down a few coastlines, you know.”

Tommy likes this side of Evan when Evan lets it out. Maybe they need to go to the beach more, even if he doesn’t really care about getting in the water. “Nah, I’d be shark bait out there.”

Evan rolls his eyes and zips open his wetsuit, peeling it off so the arms hang loose at his hips. “Chances of a shark attack are less than one in three million. You have a higher chance of getting struck by lightning.”

“Should I be worried about you then?” One of the first things Tommy learned about Evan before he really knew him was that the kid was kind of a disaster magnet. What’s the probability of being bitten by a shark when you’ve already been struck by lightning?

“You don’t need to worry about me, not out there anyway,” Evan says with a gentle tilt of his head toward the ocean. He’s delusional. Tommy likes him so much. “Kind of feel like you might have jinxed a second ride out today though. Wanna get lunch instead?”

They wind up at the good kind of greasy seaside bar. Tommy gets the fish tacos that came recommended, but Evan is making love to an oyster po’ boy with his mouth.

“You know,” Evan says, licking at the mayo clinging to the corner of his lips, “I totally fell for the idea of being a pick up artist when I heard about it in high school. Always tried finding new ways to get with girls. I read up on aphrodisiacs once.”

“Are you trying to seduce me, Evan Buckley?” Tommy asks wryly, staring at the half-chewed fried oyster hanging out of his sandwich.

“Nah, turns out it’s all bullshit. Found that out after I took my prom date to this seafood place and ordered us a dozen raw in the half shell thinking maybe I’d get lucky. I looked up at her after slurping down three of them, and you should’ve seen the look on her face. I thought she was gonna puke.”

Tommy snorts the sip of water he was taking back out onto the bar.

“The only natural aphrodisiac I can think of that isn’t like”—Evan lifts his own beer—“or a party drug is ambergris, which is kind of like whale shit, but not really. It’s illegal in the states though.”

“Evan, I’m eating,” Tommy says, but he’s laughing.

Evan, oblivious, continues, “They say it smells like shit on its own too, but something about it has them putting it in perfumes. I can’t remember what. Can you imagine if I showed up caked in whale shit for a date though?”

Tommy looks at him and Evan stares back, smile half-knowing and all hopeful, waiting for anything Tommy is willing to give him.

Just for that, Tommy doesn’t call bullshit. He says, “You think you’re hilarious,” and Evan shrugs, happily taking another bite of his po’ boy.

tagging: @thekookster @plethoriall @marmolita @al-the-remix @rcmclachlan

[esperfruit]

TTTE Human AU Character Bonus facts Part 2

Darius Diesel:

Owns a black motorcycle

German + Iranian

BPD

Bisexual disaster 

D10, Arry, Bert and Sonny are the only ones that call him Darius

Has a strong fondness for cute animals, especially ducklings

Currently works on smoking less

Built up an unhealthy tough guy persona over the years, tries to let go of it

Got his scar over his eye in a fight with D10

Does struggle a lot with understanding his own emotions and thus expressing them

Self-conscious about his cackling after Donald made fun of it once  

His parents named him after the Persian king Darius III

Is crazy good at magic tricks ( thank you Full of Surprises)

Fluent in English, German and Persian

His relations to Duck are currently described as “complicated”

Scott “Flying Scotsman” Gresley:

Wanted to be a skateboarder as a teen but his family disapproved 

British

Insomnia

Pansexual

Still holds many regrets for being a very neglectful older brother for so many years

Best social skills out of all Gresleys

Secretly has a drinking problem

Cares about his model engines as if they were his own children

Went missing for a while when he was on a trip to America

Loves PDA, disappointed he can’t show it with Truro in public

Keeps all his influential relatives close to keep an eye on them to avoid more conspiracies 

Likes giving public interviews except when it’s about Gresley family matters

Often played harmless pranks on his younger siblings as a teen

Spencer Gresley:

Has an eye for jewelry and knows what looks good one someone

British

NPD 

Bisexual

Unironically calls himself “Spencer the Grand”

Barely had any freedom as a child because of his controlling parents

He's very insecure and gets easily defensive

Does shady underground businesses 

Caused several assassinations to eliminate competition 

Stole, broke or hid Gordon’s belongings as a child

Incapable of introspection, never sees any flaw in himself

If you offended him once, he will be your biggest hater forever

Will brag about his wealth and fame at any given opportunity 

Loves spoiling his romantic partners with his riches 

Ryan Gresley:

Very fast runner, won multiple competitions and is considered an olympia candidate

British + Moroccan

ADD + dyslexia + dyscalculia

Straight ally

Early bird, goes jogging every day at 5 AM as a warm-up 

Very uncomfortable in growing up in a strict and stuck-up Gresley household

His family only started supporting his running career after he gathered fame for it

Huge fan of sci-fi books even if he can only finish two per year 

An extrovert but also very shy

Sneaks into arcades when he takes a day-off from  training

Is used to receiving a lot of love letters but is too shy to even open them

A bit oblivious to when he’s being teased or when someone is annoyed with him without openly showing it

Often helps Daisy out at taking care of the apartment complex

Sonny Evans:

Has barely any recollection of his childhood, only remembers his time at the smuggling ring

British + Korean

Autism

Gay

Low blood pressure, struggles waking up in the morning

Apologized to Rosie for being so rude to her at the start

Enjoys rides around the island with Diesel on Diesel’s motorcycle

While way more accepted now, many still avoid him

Became friends with Paxton, Sidney, Norman, Den and Dart over time

Has a dry sense of humor and says things very deadpanned, Diesel loves it

Sonny and Diesel secretly investigate the island for traces of D10 

Bad at arguing, usually walks off when frustrated

Subconscious resting intimidating glare

Hiro Kawasaki:

A pacifist, only uses his strength to help others

Japanese

Bisexual + demi + non-binary

Never used a single swear word in his life

Has mastered the ability of making a good first impression

Suffers from frequent homesickness

Despite his missing sense of touch making him feel uneasy, he takes full advantage of it

His determination can easily become stubborn and lead him into endangering himself

Perfectionist and prioritizes getting a job done over his own needs

Great interest in the evolution of global architecture and wants to learn about the current era as possible since he missed out on so much 

Bill and Ben Bagnall:

Constantly try to trick Donald and Douglas and fail miserably every time

British

ADHD (both)

Have been in detention more than every other student

Know every trick in the book on how to cheat on tests

Often do the opposite of what they’re ordered to out of spite

Saved a group of workers from a landslide once and Thomas at a second time and have been bragging about it since then

Bill loves teasing Ben over being the older twin

Get very upset when they are accused of things so bad not even they would do and are very vocal about it

Boris “BoCo” Bagnall:

Got his nickname for his interest in the CoBo diesel engine

British

Neurotypical

Straight ally

Has a very distinct way of saying “do you mind?”

Calls his sons “little bees”

Old friend of Edward since university and stayed in contact even before he moved to Sodor

Gordon sees him as a good friend after he thought BoCo saved his life even if it was just a misunderstanding

[dilacerare]

woah , i think i just saw ANDROMEDA TONKS, née BLACK ! there’s been so much happening lately that i totally forgot about the PUREBLOOD but i am glad to see HER still around . they always had wanted to be A MEMBER OF THE ACCIDENTAL MAGIC REVERSAL SQUAD , i wonder how that’s going. the last i heard about them was that they might be involved with NO ONE ( for now ) , but i’m not sure how true that is. besides, they always seemed NURTURING and SELF - RELIANT . although , now that i think about it they were also ADAMANT and DECEPTIVE . still the SLYTHERIN alum always reminded me of THE DRAW by BASTILLE and A THOUSAND AND ONE HALF - WRITTEN LETTERS NEATLY STACKED INSIDE A BOX UNDERNEATH THEIR BED, NEVER TO BE SENT, NEVER TO BE READ / "BUT I AM A STAR. I FEEL THAT I AM A STAR. SHATTERED. I AM A SHARD OF GLASS ON THE GROUND." / THE PERFECT POSTURE OF SOMEONE WHO WAS TAUGHT THEY WERE BETTER THAN, WHO STILL STANDS AS BETTER THAN . i hope they haven’t changed too much !

STATS

full name :  andromeda lysandra tonks, née black. alias / nickname : a, andy, dromeda. age & date of birth : twenty six / 1954. gender and pronouns : ciswoman and she / her. orientation : bisexual, biromantic. relationship status : married. occupation : a member of the accidental magic reversal squad, meaning she's one of the first on scenes that require their assistance, and acts as a fixer-upper of sorts, from undoing spells gone wrong to obliviating someone to holding the hand of the unexperienced wizard whose spell went wrong.

important family : cygnus black iii ( father, has disowned her ), druella rosier ( mother, has disowned her ), bellatrix black ( older sister, estranged ), narcissa black ( younger sister, estranged ), sirius black ( paternal cousin ), regulus black ( paternal cousin, estranged? ), evan rosier ( maternal cousin, estranged? ), nymphadora tonks ( daughter ). alma matter :  hogwarts, slytherin house. wand : elm wood with unicorn hair core, rigid, 11 inches. amortentia : tba. boggart : nymphadora being snatched by a hooded figure, ted's corpse is at her feet, his wand discarded across the room. the hood of the villain is pulled back to reveal her sisters' face — first bella, then cissa. patronus : black bear. affiliation : neutral, though she is very tempted to join the order.

faceclaim :  olivia cooke. height  : 5'5 / 165 cm. hair : warm brown, messy curls ( she used to magically straighten it before her marriage, but has since accepted them ), usually just above her shoulders and often tied up partially. eye : brown.

personality traits : curious, headstrong, judgemental, inscrutable, protective, argumentative. zodiac : tba. character alignment : tba.

BACKGROUND

being in the middle was comfortable. not their father's heir, nor their mother's doll, andromeda realized early on that in her unique position, she received all of the perks that accompanied her most notorious surname, and little of its scrutiny. no one cared much if she acted out and did some illegal magic in her room before even getting her wand, and no one could say a thing. she was a black, after all.

not to say her family was a happy one. andromeda never saw her parents content or even polite with one another, and her aunt's household wasn't any better — another thing andromeda learns early on is not to depend on the adults' approval, and especially not their affection, but it was a whole other thing when it came to her sisters and her cousins. if their parents were pious believers of aristocratic neglect, andromeda made sure to disappoint and go against that, careless of any possible implication; it wasn't that she was soft (then, few could get away with not getting a punch by calling her that) but she cared for them, she loved them, she listened to them. if any of them needed hugs or a gentle smack of a wake up call or help with spells or some gossiping, there she was. it was for her as much as it was for them, too.

the sorting hat took a moment too long in deciding where she should sleep — if with the snakes or the badgers — and andromeda grinned as her robes shone emerald, and she went to join bellatrix on the table. there was no doubt where she belonged — being a slytherin was her blood right, and she shared much of their tendencies, believing in the speech repeated so often, in her superiority. truth to be told, she had never experienced anything different until hogwarts, and the exposure intensified her curiosity and a streak of rebelliousness that was built on her knowing very well she'd get away with it. and she did get away with a ghastly bad grade or two, and sleeping during class due to a hangover after drinking all night with her roommates, and for arguing a bit too loud with a classmate, and for cursing another for saying a bad word about a friend. andromeda couldn't exactly care if her impunity was fair or not, as long as she and her own were not affected by it.

and if her own, at times, included someone whose lineage was more muddled than hers, whose business was it? she would grow out of it, it was said. as long as she did everything else right, it did not matter if she rubbed elbows with a mudblood to pass a class; that is andromeda for you, in the end she knows where she belongs. and well, she did. she attended pureblood feasts, no matter how boring they were, she took a job in the ministry in the department her father wanted and she even agreed to marry the perfect pureblood man her mother wanted her to.

and then she got pregnant. not of her perfect pureblood fiancee, but of her adoring muggleborn boyfriend — not for a second andromeda thought her parents would accept it, and she did a great job at pretending she couldn't give a rat's ass about being burned off the wall, and she did already have jewelry packed to run, just in case, but what really, really hurt was to lose her sisters. andromeda thought herself fit for independency, able to argue her way out of whatever situation and to stand by her own thoughts, but it was a way of underestimating how much she depended on bellatrix and narcissa, how much their love and trust and presence in her life meant to her, and how their absence aches. for the first time in her life, truly, andromeda has to handle consequences for her actions and she hates it. why must she choose one or the other? why can't she have ted and the baby and her sisters? suddenly being in the middle is not so fun anymore.

however people whisper about her now, disgust and horror at andromeda tonks rather than reverence and respect at andromeda black, she learns to ignore it. she is too proud to hide or cower or give into the shame they wish her to feel; instead, she comes back to the ministry, as soon as she can find someone reliable to keep up with nymphadora, to work on a different department finding that her job is not a step down from a promising political career but a good agreement between her nosiness, her need to be present and useful and the day to day of a rambunctious child as her daughter is. she doesn't want to be like her own parents, and unlike the black house, andromeda is content to announce, to anyone who asks, that the tonks house is a home ( and truly, there is little else she wants to do at the end of the day but to snuggle by her husband's side or have a meal together, the three of them ).

though she has not given up her privilege entirely, nor the prejudice that at times still sticks to the back of her head, andromeda has acknowledged much of it, and actively tries to make some sort of amends to it. she believes the order's kids are brave and their ideals interesting, and she certainly wouldn't accept her husband or her daughter being called slurs, but however one may put it, it would be too reckless to entirely devote herself to their cause when she has a child at home and a husband that is, regardless of his capability to protect himself, a target to pureblood ideals. not to mention, what if she has to go against any of her own — the ones she had grown with, had enjoyed herself with, shared blood with? she can not think of it, refuses to think of it. if she has to acquiesce to being in the middle, for the sake of her own, then so fucking be it.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

ted pls

family ! the other blacks and the rosier

her former fiancee ( 25+ year old pureblood fella who may or not hate her for 'trading' him for ted, or who was in cahoots with her )

ministry employees as she works under there, even if she mostly works outside the building

other mums / parents who are going through it :tm: with their hellions

slytherins, former classmates and housemates and roommates, people on the pureblood society that she was once close or antagonistic to; do they look down on her or still reach out?

people who mistrust/dislike her

anything that works !

[gameofdrarry]

Wizards Hearts Recs: Modern AU/Non-Magical

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 Black Coffee on a Lonely Night by Femme (femmequixotic) Rated:  Mature Words:  21658 Tags: Cricket, British Politics Summary:  Draco owns a café in the city. Harry's a MP who comes in every morning, newspapers in one hand, BlackBerry in the other, and orders a triple espresso macchiato. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Scribbled Confessions by MotherBooker Rated:  General Words:  9185 Tags: past Harry Potter/Fred Weasley, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Diary/Journal, POV Third Person, POV First Person, Pining Harry Potter, Fluff, Teacher Harry, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Implied/Referenced Homophobia Summary:  Draco finds a diary and discovers that the latest entries are all about him. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 And They Were Roommates by sithsanidala Rated:  Mature Words:  21547 Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Roommates, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Eventual Romance, Bisexual Harry Potter, Physical Abuse, Light Angst, Coma Summary:  Harry Potter has college life all figured out: athletic scholarship, good-looking girlfriend, and his bestfriends by his side. His only problem? His roommate is the most stuck up person he's ever met. And Harry thinks he's falling for him ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Seeking: pet carer for Bartholomew (four-year old rescue greyhound, no special needs) by GallifreyisBurning Rated:  Explicit Words:  14694 Tags: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Dog Carer Harry Potter, Lawyer Draco Malfoy, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, No Angst, Oblivious Draco Malfoy, Running, Pet Ownership - Freeform, Past Draco Malfoy/Blaise Zabini, Getting Together, Mentions of Canonical Character Death, Not Canon Compliant, (in basically any way), Minor Original Character(s), Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Shower Sex, harry works for draco, but I promise there's no power dynamic involved in their relationship, There's nothing unethical at all I swear, just read it you'll see, HP Fluff Fest 2020 Summary:  When Draco’s boyfriend ends their relationship rather abruptly (and, frankly, extremely rudely), he leaves Draco with full-time responsibility for their rescue greyhound, Bartholomew. Draco loves his dog with all his heart, but the long hours he works at his law firm mean that he can’t possibly be home as much as Bartholomew needs. Enter Sirius Pet Care, an app designed to solve this very problem! When Draco books Harry, he’s relieved at how quickly the man and his dog bond. He’s less relieved by how unexpectedly, distractingly attractive Harry turns out to be… and how Draco’s afternoon meetings keep being “mysteriously��� cancelled, meaning that he JUST HAPPENS to be home when Harry comes by. After all, it’s not appropriate to ogle one’s employees… right? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Worlds Apart by QueenyMidas Rated:  Explicit Words:  30561 Tags: muggle, Muggle AU, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Gaming, World of Warcraft - Freeform, Falling In Love Summary:  In a muggle AU, Draco and Harry are left looking for magic in much more virtual places. For the both of them, the PC game World of Warcraft provides an outlet from their lives at school (where they’re both still nasty rivals). When their characters meet in game and a romance blossoms, it’s only a matter of time before they figure out who’s on the other side of the computer screen. You really don’t need to know anything about WoW to read this. Explicit in later chapters. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 We Built This Right by Remy_Writes5 Rated:  Explicit Words:  15344 Tags: Inspired by Yuri!!! on Ice, Alternate Universe - Skating, Ice Skating, French Draco Malfoy, Desi Harry Potter, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, First Time, Fluff, Light Angst, Smut, Getting Together, Enemies to Lovers, Homophobic Language, Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson Friendship, LCDrarry, Anxiety, strained relationship with parents, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Minor Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical Summary:  At last year's Grand Prix Final, Harry had an accident that left him with a lightning scar on his forehead, a concussion and a twisted ankle. Now everyone is waiting to see if his career is over - including former rival, Draco Malfoy. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 You Give Me Feelings That I Adore by rosejoongs Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  2235 Tags: Humor, Alternate Universe- No Magic, modern!AU, Embarrased!Draco, Flustered!Draco, Teasing Slytherin Girls, smitten!Draco, Teasing, Kissing, Flirting, Terrible Innuendos, Aaaand I've Nothing Interesting To Tag, ooh wait, confident!harry, Flirtatious!Harry, Kinda Fluffy, shy!Draco Summary:  There’s a gorgeous brunette standing at the table opposite theirs, grinning and taking the orders of the group of girls sitting there. He’s clad simply in a toga (the uniform here is strange) but damn is it raising Draco’s- And with that his brain comes to a screeching halt. Nope. No. He is not going to become another one of the predators sitting at his table. He is not going to lust after that guy and imagine taking him home and pinning him against the- “Having a nice reverie there, are you, Malfoy?” OR The one where Harry works as sexy-ass waiter in a strip bar and Astoria Greengrass can still bully Draco into going to such bars. Of course, it's not like Draco is exactly left wanting to complain about the ambience when he spots said Greek God in a toga... ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Songbirds of Avebury Manor by Tessa Crowley (tessacrowley) Rated:  Explicit Words:  18237 Tags: Omega Verse, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Omega Draco Malfoy, Alpha Harry Potter, Class Differences, Soulmates, Sexual Tension, Mating Cycles/In Heat, First Time, Knotting, Implied Mpreg, Victorian Attitudes, Well sort of Victorian attitudes, Like Victorian attitudes except A/B/O, It makes sense in context I swear Summary:  Harry Potter presents as alpha at fifteen, and it is supposed to change his life for the better. Instead, it leads him to a beautiful noble omega he cannot have, a political plot he cannot escape, and a threat on his life. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Catfish by QueenyMidas Rated:  Explciit Words:  49525 Tags: Underage, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Catfish - Freeform, MTV Catfish, Falling In Love, travelling, Investigations Summary:  After having gone to high school together and parted bitter rivals, Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter find themselves reunited under professional circumstances. They’re hired to host MTV’s hit show ‘Catfish’, a program dedicated to finding out the truth about online romances when one partner is desperate to meet offline and the other has avoided every attempt at real-life interaction. Fake profiles, lies, and surprising love stories run amuck with Draco as the classic skeptic and Harry as the hopeful believer when they travel the country for the show and become invested in their cases and in each other. American muggle AU. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Dial Tone by firenxe Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  34699 Tags: Texting, text fic, Drarry, non-magic au, AU Summary:  Harry Potter decides to text the number on his arm. Draco Malfoy finds himself woken up by messages. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Boldly Go by ChristineP Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  1895 Tags: Alternate Universe, Non-magic, American!Harry, Humor Summary:  Harry was sure the scowl would have had more force to it if the blond wasn’t dressed in a catsuit reminiscent of Seven of Nine. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Consort: Hummingbird Cirus by Gold-Snitcher (Revenant) Rated:  Mature Words:  78568 Tags: Alternate Universe, no-magic, harem/slave fic, Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Betrayal, fist time, Loyalty, Love, Non-Graphic Violence, Romance Summary:  When a rebellion is crushed on the outer-edges of the empire Draco finds among the captives an intriguing youth who joins the men and women of the harem. Can this quiet boy who refuses to admit his name be worthy of the role of Consort? Or is he as scheming as the other occupants of the harem? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Unexpected Turn by Oakstone730 Rated:  Explicit Words:  26812 Tags: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, United States, Road Trips, Mechanic Harry, real estate developer draco, tow truck sex, One Night Stands, American Harry, past Draco/Krum, South Dakota Summary:  English real estate developer Draco Malfoy is in America to find his long lost cousin and escape a scandal. When his car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, his trip takes an unexpected turn. Non-Magical AU. (Fleeting mentions of Neville/Ginny and past-Draco/Krum) ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 A Surprising Christmas Present by 100SleeplessNights Rated:  General Words:  6632 Tags: Harry Potter's Cat, Fluff, Meet-Cute, First Meetings, harry has a cat, Christmas Eve, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, First Dates, kind of, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Christmas Fluff, Artist Draco Malfoy, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, New Year's Fluff, First Kiss, Artist Harry Potter, Artist Lily Evans Potter, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Meeting the Parents Summary:  Harry's cat disappears on Christmas Eve and he goes to find her. In the end he also finds something else he has searched for. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Incurable by Warholhp Rated:  Explicit Words:  119473 Tags: Angst, Alternate Universe, First Time, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Smut, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Explicit Language, Sexual Content Summary:  Non-Magic AU. Harry Potter was not sent to Hogwarts at age 11 as his parents intended. Instead, when an altercation with his uncle turns violent, he is sent to St. Brutus's Secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys. But four years later, he has the opportunity to attend Hogwarts, where he learns to live a life he never thought possible for himself. H/D and a bit of mentor-Snape. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Give Me a Quiet Mind by calrissian18 Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  16260 Tags: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical Summary:  Draco is Weasley’s assistant. Except for the week he’s not. Whose brilliant idea was that again? Featuring offices in Edinburgh, an epic Measley Bromance (that no one will admit exists), several unrequited crushes, fantastical revenge scenarios, coffee snobbery, the dreaded – yet adorable – toddler terror, promises of organ swapping, a play about Scottish history (no one cares), sequins, and the League of Snarky Secretaries! ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 There's No I In Team by JulietsEmoPhase Rated:  Explicit Words:  13389 Tags: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Office, Parent-Child Relationship, Babysitting, Getting to Know Each Other, Past Character Death, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Dom/sub Undertones, Dom/sub Play, Romance, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Praise Kink, Coming Out, Top Harry, Bottom Draco Summary:  When Draco's babysitter cancels on him, he has no option but to bring his son to work, despite the fact he has an extremely important day ahead of him. Rescue comes from the most unlikely of places, and Draco ends up having a day he never could have planned, or hoped for. Muggle AU, smut. Birthday present! ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Synthetic Bonds by mypetelephant Rated:  Mature Words:  116270 Tags: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Arranged Marriage, Drapple Summary:  Harry has always been the golden boy of Malfoy Corporation, earning the respect of Lucius and the resentment of his high school rival, Draco. But Lucius has a business proposal that involves Harry becoming a Malfoy..by marrying Draco. Non-magic AU ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 When Trust and Truth Collide by silvergalaxy Rated:  Explicit Words:  47374 Tags: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Office Romance, Banter, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Harry Potter, Fluff and Angst, Insomnia, Power Imbalance, Boss/Employee Relationship Summary:  Harry meets Draco for the first time in the employee break room on a boring Wednesday morning and they immediately hit it off. Chance encounters turn into dates, and dates turn into feelings. Oh, yeah. Draco's also Harry's boss. Harry has no idea. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 To the Memory of Love by jamesilver Rated:  General Words:  55952 Tags: Major Character Death long fic, Amnesia, but not, Coma, i really don’t know how to describe, AU, Alternate Universe - Voldemort Wins, kinda ya know like in the beginning, Angst, So much angst, Fluff, Muggle Life, harry in the muggle world, background hermione x ron, background sirius x remus, because this is an au i can do what i want so i day sirius didn’t die okay okay, Hogwarts Eighth Year, But also not, Past Child Abuse, don’t worry the major character death isn’t like draco or harry but it is other people, Horcrux Hunting, alphard black is alive, Happy Ending Summary:  The light was bright as he blinked open his eyes. He was vaguely aware of the steady sounds of beeping. And he felt weird. His mouth felt like it was full of cotton. Strange. He was in a hospital. But it wasn’t St. Mungos. It was muggle. All the technology, it was muggle. “Mr. Potter, you’ve been in a coma for the last seven years. When you were eleven, you took a terrible run face-first into a wall at King’s Cross.” “No, but. But Ron. Molly was there and she...she directed me to. And Hagrid. Hedwig. Diagon.” This was a mistake. This was all a terrible mistake. ____ Or, in which Harry wakes up from a coma in a muggle world at 18, but with all the memories of Voldemort and the war. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Man with the Purple Umbrella by Moood Rated:  General Words:  2251 Tags: Fluff, Drabble, Drarry, Muggle AU, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés Summary:  Draco Malfoy works in a coffeshop. One day, a man with a purple umbrella walks in, and Draco's life change forever. ❤️ Read on AO3

[nearlymanaged]

4. Remus’ Secret

It had been a couple of weeks since Sirius had come out to his friends, but Moony still hadn’t flung himself into his arms, confessing unbridled attraction. If anything, he seemed more distant now. Almost as distant as he used to get every month before Sirius, James, and Peter found out about his furry little secret. They did have quite different schedules this year that sometimes caused them to not run into each other for half a day, but Remus’ strange coldness seemed to go beyond that.

Sirius was starting to feel a little hurt, thinking that maybe Remus wasn’t as okay with him being bisexual as he claimed, so he confronted him about it one evening in the common room. It turned out to be a rather anticlimactic exchange since Remus assured him, quite convincingly, that it was completely ridiculous of Sirius to even think that. He said he was simply tired all the time since they had come back to Hogwarts and then made some stupid joke about being ready for death to take him.

This particular evening he seemed perfectly energised and happy while doing homework with Evans in the corner of the common room. Sirius was sitting in one of the prime armchairs in front of the fireplace with James and Peter, and if he hadn’t been so preoccupied with repeatedly stealing glances at Moony and Evans, he would have seen that James was doing the same thing.

“Since when is Moony such good friends with Evans?” Peter unknowingly voiced what they were all thinking when the sound of Remus and Lily’s laughter filled the room momentarily.

“Nerd solidarity, I suppose,” Sirius mumbled, watching Remus push the sleeves of his jumper up, seemingly oblivious to how unexpectedly attractive that was.

“I never realised Ancient Runes homework was that much fun,” James mumbled, pouting slightly.

“Are you jealous, Prongs?” Sirius asked, a tickled grin spreading across his face.

“Aw, he is! Prongs is jealous!” Cackled Peter.

Just then, Remus walked over to them, still beaming. “Prongs is…” He glanced back at Lily over his shoulder. “Prongs is jealous?”

“No, I’m not,” James folded his arms over his chest, which didn’t help make his statement any more convincing.

“How curious,” Remus said brightly and made himself comfortable on the couch next to Peter while Sirius draped himself across the armchair, his head hanging off the side.

“D’you know what? I’m jealous too.” He looked over at Remus with a smirk.

“That’s messed up, Sirius. Lily’s the mother of James’ future children.”

“Who said anything about Evans?” Sirius locked eyes with Remus, that same smile still playing on his lips. For a second, Black thought he saw Moony blush, but he couldn’t tell whether it was just the flickering fire light playing tricks. Moony scrunched his eyebrows and turned away to point at the notice board.

“Did you lot see that? Hogsmeade dates have been posted.”

“Yeah, first one’s in a couple of weeks.” Peter nodded. “I’ve thought about this, and I think the best thing for me to do is ask Lydia if she wants to meet up in Three Broomsticks. Then she won’t feel like she has to spend the whole day with me...but if she wanted to, she could.”

“Wormtail.” Sirius impatiently propped himself back up. “Why wouldn’t she want to spend the day with you? You need to have more confidence, mate.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“No, it’s not. You think it was easy for me to listen to my dear mother list all the ways in which I’m a disappointment for years?”

“I didn’t mean--”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just saying, you can’t please everyone, but you can’t let that get to you. Lydia seems pretty interested in you, and even if it doesn’t work out in the end, well...c'est la vie,” Sirius ended his little pep talk with a shrug and Peter went back to his essay, looking slightly more bewildered than before.

“Anyway,” Remus enunciated slowly. “Perfect timing, I have just about enough chocolate to last me two weeks.”

* * *

The heavy clouds above the castle seemed to be turning a darker shade of grey every day, and the sixth years were becoming more and more stressed with every lesson. Now that Remus had positively become friends with Lily Evans, he was thanking his lucky stars for it. He strongly suspected he might have lost his mind without someone to do Ancient Runes homework with.

He also noticed that Lily didn’t mind being in James’ immediate vicinity as much anymore, and James in turn had halted his incessant hitting on her for the time being. Remus had also noticed that Sirius hadn’t been spotted snogging or asking anyone out in quite a while; in fact, it hadn’t happened once since the beginning of term. He couldn’t help but harbour a secret hope that it would go on indefinitely and then he wouldn’t have to pretend that seeing Sirius with someone else didn’t bother him.

Although realistically, he didn’t really count on that. Especially since Sirius had come out about being bisexual. That just meant that now Sirius could choose out of twice the amount of people who were more attractive than his boring old friend.

Still, Remus could not refrain from coming up with imaginary scenarios in his head, in which Sirius would ask him out or confess his feelings for him, or kiss him… Initially, completely against his own will, Remus let his hopes go up just a tiny bit (that’s when the daydreaming started in full force), so he started avoiding Padfoot as a means of self preservation. That hadn’t lasted very long though, because Sirius interpreted that as Remus having a problem with him and confronted him about it...

This particular morning, a few days before the Hogsmeade trip, saw the castle brutally whipped by ice-cold rain. It was looking like their Saturday was going to be spent sipping butterbeer indoors instead of wandering around the village.

“You’ve got jam on your face, did you know?” Sirius grabbed a napkin without missing a beat, leaned over the breakfast-laden table, and dabbed the corner of Remus’ mouth. “There you go, skip along now, my love.”

Remus, who had just announced that he needed to leave to make it to Ancient Runes on time, felt his ears go ablaze, the colour spreading to his cheeks. He wasn’t sure why it startled him so much. Surely, Sirius would have done the same to either James or Peter, wouldn’t he have? That was just how he was. “Right,” Remus cleared his throat, gathering his composure. “I’ll see you lot at lunch then.”

“Wait up, Lupin!” Lily caught up with him in the middle of the entrance hall. “So I’ve noticed…” She began brightly, yet hesitantly but then trailed off. “Are...are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, what do you mean…” Remus tried to sound normal, very aware that he was still blushing. “What have you noticed?”

“Nothing. How did you get on with the Einang stone essay?”

They talked about their homework all the way to the sixth floor, but Remus couldn’t shake off the feeling that Lily was going to say something about the scene at breakfast. He wasn’t even sure that Peter and James had noticed it, but he had gathered by now that Lily was a lot more perceptive than most people. Plus, she kept giving him strange looks all throughout the Ancient Runes lesson and then it continued on the very windy grounds (it had stopped raining), during Care of Magical Creatures.

“Obviously, you don’t need to answer if you don’t want to, but...” Lily began, her voice ever so gentle, while they were making detailed sketches of fwoopers with notes about all their magical properties. “But can I ask you something personal?”

“You can ask, yes.”

“Do you like boys?”

Remus stared at her with a mixture of surprise and horror, until he felt a sharp pain in his hand - he had squeezed the little bird he was using for reference so tightly that it pecked at his flesh angrily. “Why-- Why do you ask?” He tried to sound politely surprised as he shook his hand in the air.

“Please don’t get upset with me,” Lily was gazing at him tentatively with her brow furrowed now. “I’ve noticed a while ago now, sometime last year… And then lately, since you and I... I couldn’t help it, really. I’ve seen the way you look at him, when you think that no one’s watching…”

Remus felt a strange mixture of his heart sinking and feel lighter all at once. Now that someone else knew, it felt like that would make it easier to carry this secret around, somehow. He blankly stared at his half finished sketch for a moment before speaking in a low, determined voice. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“You have my word.”

“Not that it matters anyway,” he added before he could stop himself.

“How do you mean? Is it because you’ve been friends for so long?”

“Well that too, but… I mean, look at me,” he laughed out uncomfortably rather with a roll of his eyes.

“Yes, I am…?”

“I’m about as exciting as Binns’ lessons, with a sweet bonus of ugly scars.”

Remus was surprised by how open he was with Lily. Curiously, it was really easy to talk to her about it. He’d shared so many secrets, confessions, and pains with his three friends, that sometimes he felt like he had maxed out, like he didn’t want to trouble them with any more of his problems. But it was different with Lily, perhaps because they were just becoming friends.

“I don’t think that about you at all, if you care to know,” she informed him, a strange spark lighting up her eyes. “I’ve grown to like you a lot lately and I can objectively say that you are tenfold better than what you seem to think about yourself.”

“You’re only saying that because you thought my friends and I were enormous pricks for years,” Remus smirked at her, feeling his heart grow to twice its size in his chest. “That’s a low bar.”

“Thought?” Lily grinned devilishly, making them both laugh. “Seriously, the more I’m getting to know you, the more I feel like maybe your friends can’t be all that awful after all. You are a beautiful person, Remus. You are!” She added when he rolled his eyes again.

“Sure, Evans.”

“I’ve heard he’s into boys too.” Lily ignored Lupin’s retort and then her face split into an excited smile.

Remus rolled his eyes once more… And yet, he couldn’t help but feel happier and lighter for the rest of the day, even when it started raining again towards the end of Cary of Magical Creatures.

[minniesboys]

Remus Lupin Headcannons because its his BIRTHDAYYYY

TW// Ment. of de*th near the end :(

- SWEATERS

- His favorite color is green

- His favorite sweater is a green turtleneck

- Sirius always steals said sweater

- He's kinda pale

- He has green-grey eyes

- His hair was blonde when he got to Hogwarts in first year

- It slowly turned brown-ish over the years until it became the light brown we see in Prisoner of Azkaban

- He was so definitely bisexual

- He came out in their 3rd year, March 29th 1773

- He realized he had a crush on Sirius in 4th year

- Commence awkward pining

- He also became friends with Marlene & Dorcas in 4th year

- Lily and Mary still disapproved of him, since he was friends with James and Sirius, but they didn't hate him

- He was secretly the mastermind behind lots of the marauders pranks

- And he was even more secretly amused by, and approving of many of the pranks

- He was made prefect in 5th year

- The other marauders and co teased him about it, but it was all light-hearted teasing

- I say "and co" because at this point Marlene & Dorcas were friends with all the rest of the marauders too

- Remus became friends with Lily in 5th year, as she realized that he wasn't as immature as James and Sirius were

- They would stay up chatting, and Lily immediately figured out that Remus had a crush on Sirius

- "Seriously Remus, it's so obvious. You're just friends with the most oblivious idiots in the school."

- Very late in 5th year, Sirius came out

- Lily immediately figured out that Sirius had a crush on Remus

- Remus did not figure this out

- "Seriously Remus?! He's so terrible at hiding it!! I thought I'd avoided becoming friends with the most oblivious person in the school by avoiding James, but apparently I was wrong"

- Commence awkward pining

- When Sirius ran away from Grimmauld Place, James told Remus as soon as he could

- Remus was there immediately

- In 6th year, everyone except Remus and Sirius could tell that they had a crush on each other

- Right before Christmas break, Lily lost it

- "REMUS YOU LIKE SIRIUS! SIRIUS YOU LIKE REMUS! NOW K I S S"

- They started dating a few days later

- They're soulmates (WOLFSTAR FOR LIFEEEEE)

- In 7th year, Remus shipped Jily so much

- They were his OTP

- He once heard Snivellus in the halls saying that Lily should've been with him, and it took all of his self control not to beat that slimeball to a pulp

- Remus definitely did not hex Snape so that he could only speak in limericks though. That definitely was not him

- After they graduated Hogwarts, all the marauders moved in together, though James and Lily moved in together in Godric's hollow after a few months, and Peter moved out not long after, due to constant "order business"

- Remus went undercover with the werewolves in 1980, right after Harry was born

- He hated it more than he'd hated anything his entire life

- Then came 1981

- He pitched in with Sirius for the broomstick for Harry's first birthday

- He wrote letters back and forth with Lily and James while they were in hiding

- He noticed how they both started being more and more cautious around him

- He found out from Sirius that The Order thought there was a traitor among them

- That's when he realized that James and Lily thought it was him

- His best friend James Potter

- His best friend Lily Evans

- Thought that he wanted them dead

- That he would ever wish harm on them, or their baby

- It nearly broke him

- Halloween

- He was undercover on Halloween

- He knew that Sirius was the secret keeper for the Potters

- He found out on November 2nd

- That was what broke him

- His best friends were dead

- His boyfriend, his soulmate, his Padfoot

- Was a traitor

- SIKE THEY ALL LIVED HAPPY EVER AFTER AND GREW OLD AND HARRY GREW UP WITH HIS MUM AND DAD AND HIS UNCLES MOONY AND PADFOOT AND THEY'RE ALL VERY MUCH A LIVE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMUS

[karmaistheguyonthe1975]

Yeah? Yeah.

Heyyyyyyy this is my gift for @coniello​, who I got in the @sincerely-us​ gift exchange! Sorry I’m posting this so late in the day. The prompt was Evan and Jared going on a road trip, but they’re in a fight so they kinda have to bond again. It was fun to write! 

This weekend was going to be... less than ideal, to say the very least. It was supposed to be fun, according to both Evan and Jared’s mothers, and according to the two boys themselves up until a few months ago.

A trip to a waterpark, the same one where they had shared their sixth birthday party, that had been planned for a year. But now, due to f**k-ups on both their parts, they had barely spoken a word to each other in over two months. A small fight over what movie to watch had turned into a shouting match that brought up every disagreement they had had for the past five years.

Of course, they could hardly tell that to their mothers. So there they were, stuck next to each other in a car for two and a half hours and facing two nights in a hotel room together. On top of that, they couldn’t ignore each other. They had to act as if they were still best friends. G r e a t.

The air between them was thick, and you could practically cut the tension with a knife. Both boys were desperate for some opportunity to relieve it, but unsure of how to.

‘I’m sorry,’ Evan typed into his notes, drafting a message that was likely never going to be sent. ‘I shouldn’t have said anything that I did, and I shouldn’t have accused you of lying about your camp friends. I’m sorry I’ve been forcing my presence on you throughout high school, I know you really don’t want to hang out with me, which is understandable. So yeah... I’m sorry.’

He copy-pasted it into his messages with Jared, staring at the send button and running through every situation he could think of if he sent it and if he didn’t.

Then something popped up on the screen: a meme. From Jared.

Evan deleted his message, instead sending a simple ‘Was that supposed to go to me?’

‘yes?’ Jared replied. ‘who else would it have gone to’

‘Oh... Aren’t you mad still?’

‘arent u?’

Evan glanced over at him, a confused look on his face. ‘No? I’m the one who messed up.’ He heard Jared snort a little.

‘havent changed at all i see. u arent the only one who messed up’

‘Jared, I accused you of lying about your camp friends purely because I was jealous of them.’

‘just shut up we both did a Big No accept it’

Evan laughed out loud. ‘I’m just... still sorry.’

‘well stop. like now’

Evan looked over and smiled at him. ‘Fine.’

Jared smirked back, but there was no trace of malice in it. ‘loser,’ he replied.

The rest of the three-hour drive was filled with memes, small-talk, and laughing, and, although it was slightly awkward, neither boy had been happier in a while.

“Okay, boys,” Heidi sighed once they were at the doors of the hotel rooms, trying to support the weight of her packed bags. “Make sure you don’t go to bed too late and meet us in the lobby for breakfast at...” She looked around, waiting for someone else to suggest a time.

“Nine?” Mrs. Kleinman offered.

“Yes, nine,” Heidi confirmed. “That sound good?”

“Yeah,” Evan replied. “Thanks, Mom.” Jared just finger-gunned.

“See you in the morning,” Ms. Kleinman said, opening the door of the room that she and Heidi were sharing.

“See ya!” Jared called, swinging into his own room and pulling Evan in by the elbow.

Evan leaned against the door uncomfortably, biting his lip and looking anywhere other than Jared’s eyes. The car was much easier than this. He could easily avoid eye-contact in the car, only having to look ahead, or out the window. “So...” he tried. “How are you?” Mentally, he scolded himself. God, that was such a stupid question. “I mean like how have you been? Because obviously we’ve been talking for a while and I know... s**t sorry, I’m bad at this.”

Jared laughed and threw himself into the crappy hotel room couch. “Evan, chill out,” he said. “Like seriously.”

“Right,” Evan mumbled. “Sorry- I mean, um...”

“I get it,” Jared interrupted, holding out his hand. “Do you like... want to put your s**t down and sit? You’re allowed to do that.”

Evan looked down and realized he was indeed still holding his bags, suddenly becoming aware of the ache in his arms. “Oh, right.” He placed his bags in a neat pile by the beds, a contrast to the haphazardly stacked ones that Jared had merely tossed onto the bed he’d claimed as his own. He still didn’t sit, though, even when Jared gestured questioningly at the couch.

“Made a college decision yet?” Jared asked. “You didn’t know, last we talked.”

Evan nodded. “I’m gonna take a year to save up, then I’m probably going to do some kind of biology, maybe. Staying close to home, though. You were gonna go... somewhere in Montana, right?”

“Montana State,” Jared agreed. “Computer science. I got a s**t-ton of scholarships, too.” Although you wouldn’t guess it upon first, second, or third impressions of him, Jared was freakishly smart, maintaining a 4.0 in high school despite sleeping through class 50% of the time and regularly skipping.

Evan smiled. “That’s- I’m really happy for you, that’s really great.”

“It’s school,” Jared grumbled. “I don’t know why I’m paying to go. I should be paid to go.”

As Jared complained, his face shifted into a childish frown. The expression reminded Evan of when they were in middle school, including some, ahem, certain feelings that tended to pop up when a hormonal and bisexual 8th grader had a smart, funny... kind of cute-

Oh, S**T! Evan thought. Those feelings we’re supposed to have been kicked to curb years ago. But apparently not.

“Ev,” Jared called, snapping his fingers. “Earth to acorn.”

Evan looked at him (well, more like started paying attention to him. He had been staring after all). “Yeah? Sorry, I, um... I zoned out. Sorry.”

“You were staring at me,” Jared informed bluntly. “I mean, who could blame you, I am gorgeous, but-”

“No I wasn’t!” Evan lied.

“You were.”

“No!”

“Fine then, keep your crush repressed,” Jared teased, both projecting onto Evan and being characteristically oblivious.

Evan turned pink. “I...”

Jared cracked up. “You’re such a dork!” he wheezed.

“I am not!” Evan protested. “You’re the dork.”

In response, Jared held up a finger as he dug through his pockets, finally pulling out a crumpled yellow card. “Uno reverse card,” he smirked.

“You-” Evan said. “You just keep that in your pocket?!”

“Yep,” Jared replied, popping the p.

Finally, Evan sat on the couch, although he remained tense. “I like hanging out with you,” he mumbled, having a momentary burst of courage that left him with immense amounts of regret. “Oh my God, that was so weird, I’m sorry! I just meant like, you know-”

“Evan,” Jared said, trying to stop the word vomit.

“Because we fought and we have talked in months I just missed you, you know? And I-”

“Evan!” Jared repeated, louder, which successfully silenced him. “I know what you mean. You don’t have to explain yourself. I missed you too. I shouldn’t have been such an a*shole during high school.”

Evan smiled weakly. “It’s okay.”

Jared smiled back. “Star Wars?” he asked.

“Oh God,” Evan laughed. “We haven’t watched those since we hung out every weekend in 8th grade.”

“You haven’t,” Jared corrected. “I’m not a heathen, I still watch them regularly.”

“Whatever. Let’s do it.”

One movie later, they had assumed a position in which Jared’s head was resting on Evan’s shoulder and their hands were touching in an effort to make the computer stay steady. Jared stretched a little and looked up at Evan, who had a slight glow surrounding his head from the lights shining through his blond hair. Would it be gay to kiss him? Jared asked himself. YES IT WOULD BE GAY, IDIOT!

Holy s**t, he was actually considering this. He had never been known for being open with his feelings, opting instead for sudden outbursts and passive-aggressive remarks. But lately, he had been doing better. He wasn’t as mean, at least, and slightly less scared of feelings. “Evan...?” he said finally, an audible shake in his voice.

“Yeah?” Evan asked, staring at the space between Jared’s eyes, which was the closest he could comfortably get to eye-contact.

Jared’s hands began to shake slightly, never a good sign. “Can I... s**t...”

Evan moved so he was entirely sat up, taking hold of Jared’s forearm to calm him down. “Jared,” he murmured. “Breathe.” Panic attacks, and the preceding moments, were something that Evan had more experience with than he would care to admit. But in situations like this is was undeniably helpful to know how to deal.

Jared frantically searched Evan’s face for a sign of... something. His eyes moved like those of a caged animal, darting back and forth, even though his body was frozen. Finally, possessed by some other force, he pressed his lips up against Evan’s, staying stiffly there for a moment before realizing what he had done and pulling away.

Evan stared blankly at him for a moment, entirely dumbfounded, before leaning down to repeat it. Jared kissed back momentarily, but pulled away and looked down after a minute.

“Sorry,” Evan muttered. “I shouldn’t have... I didn’t mean to... crap, I messed this all up, didn’t I?”

Jared distanced himself from Evan, giving him a few inches of space. After a few moments of silence, he spoke quietly. “Was that okay?”

“Was it okay with you?” Evan responded, his usual stutter gone and replaced by a shaky, quiet tone.

“If it was with you... yeah.”

“It was,” Evan replied hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Jared looked over at him, biting his lip to refrain from a hopeful smile. He placed his hand half of the distance between them, letting Evan decide whether or not to take it.

Evan moved his hand to cover Jared’s. “Yeah?” he asked, repeating Jared’s question.

“Yeah,” Jared echoed.

And there they sat, comfortably silent, the same thought running through both their heads.

Maybe this trip won’t be so bad.

[bxstvrd]

ENTER STAGE RIGHT... JONAH PRYCE AS “THE VILLAIN”

content warnings for: infidelity, disassociation, emotional abuse, gaslighting, disordered eating / body image issues

FULL APP // PINTEREST // WANTED CONNECTIONS

&& basics–– full name: jonathan alexander pryce sinclair age: twenty-one (sensitive little cancer, his birthday’s july 1st) sexuality: bisexual baby (literally bc he’s still parsing all of this / figuring out this part of his identity) gender & pronouns: cis, he/him/his character comps: kendall roy ( succession ), the man in black ( westworld ), bojack horseman ( bojack horseman ), adam groff ( sex education ), tim riggins ( friday night lights ), max evans ( roswell new mexico ) full statistics page here

&& history––

jonah’s got legacies on both sides of his family. his father, william pryce, is the heir of a meat distribution company based in pennsylvania that’s become one of the largest beef distributors in the continental united states. his mother, charlotte sinclair, is from old money that’s now tied up in several magazines / newspapers in the tristate area

his whole childhood, he could never figure out why william hated him so much, why william would never give him an ounce of paternal love, not the way he did with jonah’s brothers. and then one night, in a drunken tirade, william reveals: jonah’s a bastard. he’s not william’s son, but rather a product of charlotte’s infidelity

the truth of who he is makes too much sense to jonah, contextualizes everything that’s ever happened to him, and it breaks something in him. he grows into the role of the ‘destroyer’, the villain, the bastard. he learns coldness from his father, apathy from his mother, and shoulders the guilt of his own birth as though he’s not just a child, as though he did something to deserve this. he comes to realize, it’s not that he did anything wrong. simply put, jonah was just born wrong.

theater helps, and he’s good at it too, but it doesn’t undo the ache of being cast aside. jonah becomes obsessed with finding his birth father and finally, after sixteen years of pretending, he confronts his mother, who reluctantly gives jonah his name: desmond burnes.

desmond burnes is a playwright, much to jonah’s delight. and he’s an alderidge alum (which is why jonah even applied here to begin with). the summer before he goes off to college, jonah decides to go to new york to track down his dad, using a summer theater program at columbia as a guise for tracking des down. and at first, des is everything he wanted in a parent: thoughtful, attentive, engaged. but the more jonah gets to know him, the more he realizes how hot and cold des is, how similar the two of them are, in all the worst ways.

the summer ends in turmoil, as you would expect. jonah developed a bit of a crush on hugh, the prop designer for des’ play, not realizing that des and hugh were already entangled sexually. jonah finds the two of them together, and it breaks him, not because he’s jealous, but because he realizes: des will never be the kind of father jonah’s needed his whole life. it leaves a hole in his heart, a void he thinks will never be filled.

until....enter stage left!! orson hobbs. that slimy mother fucker saw how much pain there is in jonah, but also saw how he could harness that deep, deep agony for something great. and jonah, for what feels like the millionth time in his life, put all of his trust and love and hope into the wrong fucking person because he was so desperate to be good in jonah’s eyes, so desperate to have someone who saw him and wouldn’t leave, like everyone else before orson.

his relationship with helen really threw a wrench in that though. orson always liked jonah broken, and with helen, he finally sound some sense of healing. so he reeled jonah back in, using the role of achilles as the hook line and sinker, and jonah, oblivious to how he was being manipulated, fell for it all. he’s always been so susceptible to changing himself for the approval of other people, always twisting himself into whatever shape he thinks people want to see. it’s only towards the end, days before the curtain rises for troilus and cressida, that jonah understands: orson never cared about him. orson likes him broken, docile, his. and orson will cast him aside if he refuses to comply.

orson’s death has shaken him to his core because, even though he didn’t kill orson, a part of jonah knows that, if he saw orson that night, he would have. knowing he has that rage in him, knowing that that’s what he’s truly capable of... he’s never felt more wrong, more evil in his whole life, and hell, maybe that’s just who he is. maybe he’s failed, so many times, at being good because he’s got a black mark on his heart, just like des, just like william.

&& random facts––

smokes too many cigarettes & doesn’t drink enough water

hates birds

sketches when he’s bored, likes drawing butts

is a staunch vegetarian, trying to go vegan but likes cheese too much

would cry @ everything if he didn’t have to deal w the embarrassment of being vulnerable in front of people

doesn’t know how to swim

knows literally every single thing there is to know about david fincher, one might call him... obsessed??

always looks like he just woke up from a nap... probably because he did

and in that vein, Nap King, he’s been diagnosed with a mild form of narcolepsy, don’t fuck w jonah’s naps

allergic to cats, but loves them so much its stupid

compulsively buys candles when he’s sad (so always buying candles because he’s always fucking sad)

gets HEATED about the great british bake off. don’t talk to him about it if you don’t want to open a pandora’s box of his love for mary berry

favorite color is yellow

always cold

disaster bi: clumsy as fuck. horrible driver. can’t sit properly in chairs. never knows what time it is

[phanchester]

gen z baudelaire children headcanons

violet baudelaire

- age: 16

- good at drawing

- cries in movies

- asexual af 

- called herself a lesbian for years until she started dating a boy lmao

- dating quigley quagmire

- doesnt define herself as a single sexuality so she just calls herself queer

- has an instagram account for aesthetic things and another account for weird selfies

- has a studyblr account as well 

- pretend shes organised but really is not

- loves dodie and tessa violet

- makes slimes and squishies and somehow all of them are perfect?? like the slime never sticks to anyone’s hands and get stretch a lot and the squishies just never break down

- is really bad at baking 

- tried to make klaus a birthday cake but failed and handed in slush

- she ended up buying cake from the local bakery but accidentally spelt klaus wrong so it read “happy birthday klauz”

- loves everything to do with japan but constantly denies the fact that shes a weeaboo

- dressed up as jiro from my hero academia one year

- obsessed with princess mononoke

- loves all the tech in tokyo

- listens to paramore religiously

- liked one direction when she was a lot younger and cringes about it

- used to have long hair but she cut it when she was 15 and now she has the bisexual haircut

- has a really good sense of fashion although she looks pretty in anything

- loves sherlock way too much for it to be healthy

- was obsessed with tom hiddleston in 2012

- got raped when she was 14

- still goes to therapy to repair all the broken things which came out of that

- very passionate about feminism and is pro-choice

- got called an sjw in public so she gave the man a whole rant about how her being raped ruined her entire life

- lead the tech box for the school musical in junior school despite these annoying teachers telling her she should be on stage with her pretty face

- gets cat-called in public which she absolutely hates but she just ignores them

- loves doing her own makeup

- people who dont know her call her the shy nerd but people who know her things shes insane

- resident IT kid at school

- knows for forever from dear evan hansen off by heart but refuses to listen to any more songs despite klaus’s protests

- really good at football and baseball

- super good at science

- loves everything to do with inventing (obviously lmao)

- dressed up as tinker bell when she was 4 and as annabeth chase when she was 12 for halloween

- good at sewing and making costumes

- made her own computer out of spare parts when her mother (beatrice) put screen time on her school laptop

- had an emo phase but constantly denies it

 klaus baudelaire

- age: 14

- a huge fanboy over practically everything except sports

- family thought he was gay for years, turns out he was a bi disaster

- peace-signs bisexual but also finger guns

- had a crush on isadora and quigley when they first met in seventh grade

-  now only has a crush on isadora and boy is oblivious to how lovestruck isadora is for him as well

- knows every starkid musical off by heart

- has a super popular tumblr blog with a hell lot of followers as well as an anti-onision side blog

- has probably every social media known to man

- rumours say that he even has a myspace account?? with this boy who knows

- hair is always messy no matter how many times beatrice tries to tame it

- always dresses up as harry potter for halloween because he looks exactly like the description

- obsessed with lord of the rings

- use to have a booktube but then deleted it a day after he posted a video 

- has mild anxiety and depression

- also sees a therapist (someone help these chirren they need help)

- memes and vines are his source of energy and without them he would probably die

- knows like every single vine somehow

- loves thomas sanders

- has a diverse set of subscriptions from really small but high quality youtubers to these huge popular ones

- once this random youtuber liked his reply on twitter and he actually flipped out

- has a crush on brendon urie (“i’d fuck that forehead any day” - actual quote by klaus baudelaire)

- skipped year 4 so he is one year younger than the people in his grade

- can eat until he dies

- was super small but then had a huge growth spurt so now hes a lot taller

- practically blind without his glasses

- once violet stole his glasses for a prank and klaus sat on the family cat

- the cat was thankful still breathing after the traumatizing experience but died the year after

- these events are not confirmed to be connected

- definitely a feminist and is super protective over his sister so he  a t t a c k s  anyone online who normalizes and tries to justify rape and/or pedophilia

- hated olaf from the second he met him

- super judgemental over people which he knows he needs to stop but he cant help it

- only person he didnt judge was lemony which beatrice took as a good sign when they first got together 

- hardly remember bertrand as he died when he was like 1 (and violet was 3) but from photos he knows that he was a good person

- loves croissants and meat pie

- actually really likes bread for some reason no one knows why but he just really likes bread

- good at every single subject except for pdhpe (or rather pe)

- running joke in the family that hes trash at sport

- actually likes the concepts of most school subjects but he hates some of his teachers (like his maths teacher and his geography teacher)

- has really trash handwriting

- has the weirdest search history known to man

- “im a writer” but never writes

sunny snicket 

- age: 4

- not at school yet but still super smart for her age

- klaus read the hobbit to her and she really enjoys it and wants to watch the movies (but beatrice wont let her because theyre rated m)

- lost her first tooth recently because she kept on wobbling it and just pulled it out

- never cries when she falls over or scratches herself or shit

- uses klaus as a chair and violet as a pillow

- once pulled all of beatrice’s flowers out from the garden to give to her

- beatrice got really mad at first but when sunny started crying and saying that she just wanted to give her mummy a present beatrice melted and brought sunny to the florist to buy flowers

- kept on asking how babies were made and didnt believe the stories she was being told so lemony just straight-up told her to shut her up and now she is traumatized

- watches movies which are way too old for her age

- loves baking with her mum and is very good at it (better than violet lmao)

- beatrice doesnt allow her near the oven so she constantly makes peanut-butter sandwiches

- suffice to say, the house is never out of peanut-butter sandwiches

- loves dogs

- has way too many toys to count

- wants a pet hamster, fish and/or sloth

- hates shoes so constantly walks around barefoot

- blames everything on her invisible snowman friend called ojo

- hates being called cute but really is adorable

- likes blueberry muffins and vanilla cupcakes

- never ties her shoelaces

- loves the incredibles

- really likes all frank sinatra songs

- has a pink radio which allows cds

- has lazy eye

- taking piano lessons but wants to learn the cello

- pretends to be a detective all the time

- tried to catch the monster under the bed so she could talk to it

- loves talking

- loves chinese food

- tries to write in cursive

- sings very loudly around the house

- always sneezes at least 5 times in a row

- scared of swallowing pills for medicine

- can quote child-friendly vines

- loves dressing up in dresses but hates makeup

- heard someone (probably kit) say “no shit sherlock” so says that on repeat under every circumstance

- finds writing capitals rs and 4s interesting so she has a notebook dedicated to that

- loves the mii and kahoot song (probably because of klaus)

- has an interest in sharp-toothed creatures like snakes, sharks and alligators

- pretends to have a british accent sometimes and its very cute

- hates her hair in pigtails

[pigstepmp3-moved]

an excerpt of a thing that i may or may not continue some day, feat an All Knowing oc and oblivious dumbass buck (which, lets be honest, is a daily mood for him)

Buck’s best friend from childhood, Eleanora, is coming to California to visit, and Buck is both excited and terrified. Excited because they’ve always been thick as thieves, practically siblings with how close they are to each other, and he’s missed her a ton, despite how often they still talk on the phone. Terrified because she’s probably got a plethora of stories about him from their youth that are sure to be so embarrassing that Buck will wish that the Earth would open up and swallow him whole. And she’s sure to unleash those stories if he introduces her to his friends. So against his better judgement, she decides to introduce her to Eddie on one of her first days in LA.

Buck decides to invite the both of them to his new apartment, figuring that that’s a nice, safe environment for Eddie and Eleanora to meet. And of course, Eleanora’s running late. But Buck isn’t surprised at that, she’s always been notorious for constantly being late to things, so he asked her to come over an hour earlier than he asked Eddie to come over. And somehow, she’s still late. Finally, twenty minutes after Eddie’s arrived, there’s a frantic knock on Buck’s front door. He excuses himself from the pleasant conversation he had been having with Eddie to go and open the door.

“Okay, before you say anything, I know that I’m phenomenally late,” Eleanora says the moment the door opens. She reaches forward to give Buck a quick hug before brushing past him and into the apartment. “I’m trying to get used to LA traffic, but it’s, like, a million times slower that rural Pennsylvania, so it’s a real struggle.”

“I told you not to get a rental car,” Buck says with a roll of his eyes as he leads Eleanora to the kitchen where Eddie’s waiting. “But noooo, you’re much too good for Uber.”

“Literally shut up, I do not need your sass right now,” Eleanora says with a playful glare thrown Buck’s way before setting her purse on the kitchen counter. She turns to face Eddie now with a broad grin, holding her hand out for him to shake. “Hi! I’m Eleanora Lawrence.”

“Eddie Diaz,” Eddie says with an equally as broad grin, taking her hand and shaking it firmly.

She realizes that she recognizes that name when she lets go of his hand. She recalls many a conversation spent listening to Buck sob about how in love he is with his straight best friend, Eddie Diaz. Finally getting to see this tall glass of water in person? Well, Buck’s feelings are totally understandable. If she’s being honest, though, she never really bought the “straight” thing. She might have stalked Eddie’s Instagram once or twice, and the pictures he’s posted? She’d never in a million years believe that he’s anything but bisexual. He just has that aura, she guesses. “Ah, Evan’s mentioned you a couple times,” she says, slyly winking at Buck. Though she could very easily tell Eddie how many times “a couple” really is, she knows how much it would hurt Buck. “You’re the, umm, the single father right?”

Eddie laughs breathlessly at that, quickly ducks his head for a moment. “I’m, uh, married, actually,” he explains, perhaps a bit awkwardly.

Eleanora’s a little taken aback at that. She glances down toward Eddie’s left hand, and unless invisible wedding rings have become a thing, then there is no way that said marriage is going to be lasting much longer. “Right,” she says after a moment, narrowing her eyes a little. “Well, I’m sure your husband is a very lucky man.” She refuses to believe that he could possibly have a wife.

“Uh, I actually have a, um, a wife,” Eddie says, rubbing the back of his neck.

Screw “a little” taken aback, Eleanora is fully and entirely taken aback at that. Her eyes trail down Eddie now, fully taking in his appearance. Denim jacket over a flannel shirt? Yeah, no way in hell that he’s even slightly straight. Her eyes trail down even more, and they narrow a little when she sees that his jeans are cuffed. He might as well have walked right up to her and yelled that he’s bisexual before even saying his name. “Uh-huh. Right. Well. I’m sure your wife is a very lucky woman,” she finally says before turning to look at Buck. “Hey, Ev, I just realized that I’ve gotta talk to you about something, could you come with me real quick?” She doesn’t bother to wait for a response, just grabs Buck’s arm and pulls him out of the kitchen and into a hallway that’s just out of earshot from Eddie. “’Straight best friend’ my ass,” she says immediately.

“Nora, what the hell are you talking about?” Buck asks. “He’s straight, dude. Like, super incredibly straight.”

“I’m sorry, have you ever looked in his direction? Denim jacket? Flannel? Fucking cuffed jeans? That man is the most rockin’ bisexual I’ve ever seen, and I am including you and me on that list of ‘rockin’ bisexuals’. And my God does he have a preference for men,” Eleanora replies fiercely.

“You’re insane,” Buck says simply, sparing a quick glance toward where Eddie’s standing around awkwardly in the kitchen. “There’s no way he’s bi. And even if he was, he wouldn’t have a preference for guys, shut up.”

“Oh my god, you are the stupidest, most oblivious man I know! I’ve known him for like five minutes now, and the entire time I’ve known him, he’s looked at you like he wishes I wasn’t here so he could fuck you!” Eleanora grips Buck’s shoulders tightly and shakes him a little as she speaks. Buck blushes a little at her words. “If that man turns out to be 100%, completely and entirely straight, I will eat my own wedding ring.”

“You’ll eat your wedding ring,” Buck says flatly. “Good luck explaining that one to your husband.”

“He’ll agree with me, if anything, because anyone with eyes can see that that is a rockin’ bi man!” Eleanora says as she lets go of Buck’s shoulders. “But there’s not gonna be anything for me to explain because I’m not gonna eat my ring! Because he’s not straight!”

Buck stares at her blankly for a moment before shaking his head to himself. “Yeah, uh-huh, okay. Whatever you say, Nora.” 

“Dude, I am dead fucking serious. If I don’t see that guy kiss you at least once by the time I go back home, I will be severely disappointed.”

Buck gives her an incredibly unimpressed look. “Well, that’s not gonna happen. Sorry, but I live to disappoint,” he responds before turning and heading back to kitchen. Eleanora frowns before scurrying after him.

[multimetaverse]

Andi Mack 2x20 Review

Andi’s Choice was a sweet fluffy episode, a nice contrast to all the angst we’ve had in 2b. I’m gonna divide my reviews from now on into positives and negatives. And don’t worry I’ll be talking a lot about Cyrus and his lack of jealousy and what it means for his story in the negatives section.

Positives

Being around you is a great song! Asher has a lovely voice and it would be great if Disney released a full version. I’m glad that they had Bowie write most of it as it would have been unbelievable that Jonah wrote it all himself in the show’s fake 10 day timeline or it’s actual 3ish weeks timeline.

But you can tell that the core message, “I love being around you’’ came from Jonah and it was a nice little callback to what Jonah told Andi at the Space Otters dinner. 

It was great seeing Jonah facing down his anxiety and winning. 2b has been full of angst and setbacks and defeats. Yes we need to see characters struggle and grow and learn but it can’t be constant defeats we need to see them win too. We’ve really seen the toll his untreated anxiety has taken on his life which makes his victory tonight all the sweeter and it lets kids know that they don’t have to be ruled by their anxiety.

I think tonight has been the most likeable Jonah has been in a long time. We get flashes of that old Bill Clinton charm of his but also his natural sweetness and we got some callbacks to his obliviousness. I laughed so much when he thought that Bowie wanted him to look at Bex.

I know that most people on here hate Jandi but it’s just your typical middle school relationship, nothing to get so worked up over (and if you want to hate on it just use an anti-jandi tag). They’ve had some sweet moments and will probably have a few more before Terri pulls the rug out from under the core audience of 6-14 year olds who love this ship and keep this show afloat. I do enjoy seeing the lengths Disney is going to plug the ship (#jandiforever). And I’m sure the Team Jonah kids on the Mack Chat will be popping bottles tonight. In fact I’ll bet that this episode has the highest ratings of 2b so far.

Obviously the ship has its faults and Terri has spoken negatively of it in the past but the casual audience (which is the vast majority of the audience) doesn’t know that and all they see is the show continually pushing Andi and Jonah together so why would they hate it?

As for the seating it wasn’t so that we could see Cyrus’ reactions (we didn’t) it was because Buffy is a bit taller than Cyrus and her longer and curlier hair would obstruct our view (and Jonah’s) of Andi more than Cyrus would. 

I will give the show credit for keeping the lyrics gender neutral (though it was the very least they could do). However, they did make it clear that the song and Jonah’s feelings are only directed at Andi.

And as for the kiss I thought it was exactly like an unexpected first kiss at 14 would be like. I don’t read too much into Jonah’s eyes being open I think it just happened so quickly and took him by surprise that he didn’t know what to do. i know some people are comparing it to the first Ciris kiss but what people forget is that their first kiss went well and Cyrus was actually very happy afterwards (too happy for a soon to realize he’s gay boy in truth). Both Jonah and Andi were happy afterwards and it was nice to see them smiling. 

I also give the show credit for keeping Andi at the centre of this love triangle and keeping all the power in her hands (putting Lucas at the centre of the triangle was GMW’s fatal flaw). I also think it was good to show younger women that it’s okay for them to take charge and make the first move. And kudos for the show having Andi explicitly say that being in a triangle is no fun; obviously the show is selling a fantasy but it’s important to let reality peek in.

I’ll have more to say about Bowie’s behaviour in the negatives but I do think the show was trying to draw a parallel to Bex’s scenes with Amber. Just as Bex’s advice (get a makeover) was immature so was Bowie’s advice (write her a song). It reminds the audience that these are two teen parents we are dealing with and they are still stuck in their teenage mindsets in some ways. I think a big part of their arcs in S3 will be doing that growing up.

Celia’s behaviour doesn’t make much sense but it’s all part of the show moving her from ‘’stern and responsible parental figure’’ to ‘’wacky grandma’’. The show needs Celia to let loose a bit so Bex looks more mature and responsible in contrast. Buying the fringe when Bex has no experience running a small business wasn’t a well thought out move but again it’s necessary because the show wants to establish Bex and Bowie as responsible parents who can financially support themselves and Andi once they’re engaged. 

It was nice to see Britney again, hopefully Bex doesn’t lay her off.

I do like that Cyrus used his director’s skills when joking around with Andi and Buffy.

Lol I was completely wrong about the High School Musical lady being Amber’s mom. 

Walker is nice and I think he’s taking his cues from rom-coms (where else would a 14 year old get romantic advice) which explains these sweet but unexpected gestures. I’m glad that he made such a good impression on Buffy and Cyrus, I’m sure he’ll fit right in with the GHC in S3.

Cyrus’ mom writing a friendship application letter on his behalf was hilarious and also explains so much of why Cyrus is the way he is.

Negatives

For the casual audience a crush that cannot be shown or discussed is for all intents and purposes a crush that does not exist. When Cyrus comes out to Jonah and Jonah gently turns him down the only thing that will surprise most viewers is that Cyrus still has a crush on Jonah. 

Jealousy is such a common trope to establish or reinforce that a person has romantic feelings for another person because it is unmistakable and everyone has experienced some form of jealousy. It’s especially easy for for children to grasp which is why it’s a staple of kid’s shows. For example, in GMW we saw Lucas get jealous multiple times when Riley was with Charlie or Evan and this told the audience that he still had feelings for her and wanted to be with her. It was the show’s way of telling the audience that we should pay attention to Lucas’ feelings and that they mattered. 

When the show doesn’t let Cyrus ever show jealously it tells the audience that Cyrus’ feelings don’t matter and that there’s nothing there. Most viewers take their cues from the show and when the show does’t let Cyrus be jealous or even have very many scenes with Jonah it’s guiding them away from shipping J*rus. If you showed this ep to someone who had never seen Andi Mack and afterwards told them that Cyrus had a crush on Jonah they wouldn’t believe you. Whether they’re 6 or 60 the first thing they’d ask you is why didn’t Cyrus show any jealousy.

The key point this episode drove home imo is that if the show can’t ever discuss or show Cyrus’ crush except when he’s coming out to someone then there’s no way the show could ever discuss or show Cyrus dating Jonah. And can you even imagine how Jonah would even realize he’s bisexual and how the show would even be able to discuss that. The show is barely even pretending that Cyrus has a shot with Jonah and that’s because the writers have long known that it’s not going to happen. 

I re-watched 2x01 so it was fresh in my mind for watching 2x20 and the contrast in how Cyrus’ jealousy and Buffy’s support for him is portrayed is stunning. What’s worse is that Cyrus’ jealousy is all in what was originally 1x13. It’s very clear that Disney only let Terri have Cyrus hang out with Jonah so much in in S1 and to show such overt jealousy because it was necessary to set up his sexuality arc. And Buffy was so supportive and careful of Cyrus’ feelings in 2x01 and that’s nowhere to be seen in this ep. 

If A Good Hair Day had aired as 2x04 as originally planned we would have seen Cyrus’ gay arc mostly wrapped up in 5 eps before being completely dropped until 2x11. That was probably part of Disney’s deal, Terri could have her coming out story but it could only be focused on for a few eps. And I think they’re taking the opposite approach in S3. The first eps will focus on the het ships and story lines before TJ returns in ep 4 or 5 to kick off Cyrus’ romance arc. Again that was probably part of the deal, Terri could give Cyrus a boyfriend eventually but only after all the het ships were put front and centre. 

And boy was it ballsy of the show to have Cyrus call himself the sassy (gay) friend. It helps draw attention to how unfilled out Cyrus is and how he could have been easily cut this ep and nothing at all what have changed.

As for Bowie this episode while I understand that the show is trying to emphasize his immaturity it is super weird that he’s helping Jonah win back his daughter and mostly writes the lyrics to a romantic song about his daughter that also clearly applies to his relationship with Bex. 

But I now understand why there have been so many Bexie and Jandi parallels lately. Bowie and Bex are re-living their relationship through Andi and Jonah because they both feel that it’s too late for them. I do feel more confident now in saying that Jonah and Andi will not get back together after they break up for good this season.

Terri has talked a bit about how important momentum is for the show which is why I’m again left wondering why the writer’s thought it would be a good idea for the show to destroy it’s momentum by imposing a 10 day deadline that has been impossible to keep. It takes basic reasoning skills to see that they had way too much story to cram into 6 episodes to justify such a short deadline. And we can tell by the number of weekends that it has actually been almost 3 weeks in show time not 10 days.

They’re going to have to change Jonah’s middle name from Hercules to Wolfgang because he’s clearly a Mozart level prodigy if he picks up guitar in a week.

Once again no word on Buffy’s crush but I’ll admit that Jonah is being Andi’s first kiss is a strike against my Juffy theory (and is also a strike against J*rus happening). 

And while I appreciate that Jandi needs to happen one more time to deal with all those feelings I still think it’s a bad idea to give them such a sweet moment only to undercut it in 5 eps and have Andi end up with Walker anyways. 

And this is a very minor quibble but why has Buffy known Cyrus since the 2nd grade but Andi’s ‘pet’ hasn’t been fed in 7 years which would be around Kindergarten which is also what I remember being mentioned in 2x15 as the start of their friendship?

[save-the-cronch]

First Kiss

Hey guys! I finally have another thing out for you guys! I hope you guys enjoy this.

Word Count: 1689

Sitting alone in my room on a Friday night is not an unusual occurrence. Although, recently I’ve been hanging out with Connor Murphy. We became friends shortly after he took my letter and tried to kill himself.

His whole family instantly thought that we were friends because he still had my letter, and I didn’t know how today no. So I told Connor what happened when his parents took me to see him, and for some reason Connor actually agreed to keep the secret. Once he actually got out of the hospital, we did begin to hangout, and soon we became very good friends. I’ve been to his house many times, and him to mine.

Then, last month, I realized I had a huge ass crush on him. I use to have a crush on his sister, but somehow, that crush switched to him. We were sitting in this Orchard that he showed me, and we were laughing about some joke he said. I just looked over at him, and I realized that I’d do anything to make him happy. I instantly freaked out. I had always know I was bisexual, in middle school I had a crush on this kid named Michael Mell, but I never thought I’d like my best friend. I also don’t know if he’s interested in guys! God I’m such a fucking mess.

I grab my laptop, hoping that some youtube video’s could calm me down. However, as soon as I click on a Bob Ross montage, I hear banging on my window.

I jump, falling off of my bed at the sudden noise. I slowly stand up, shutting my laptop. Then, I glance at the window, and I see a dark, long hair, tall, silhouette of a person. I walk to my window, unlatching the latches and throwing it open.

“Connor, what the hell are you doing here? It’s eleven at night!” I nearly shout at him. I don’t have to worry about my mom hearing because she’s at work, and won’t be home until late. She always does the night shift on Fridays.

Connor jumps through the window, and stands up to look at me.

“I had a fight with my dad. He was extremely pisses, and I thought it would be best if I left. So, because you’re my only friend I decided to come here. Also, sorry for coming through the window, I wasn’t sure if your mom was here, and I didn’t want to make three adults upset tonight.”

“Connor, what was this fight about. I-I mean, i-if you f-feel comfortable wi-with telling me. Youdonthavetotellmeifyoudontwanttoimsorryiasked!”

“Ev, slow down, and breathe.” Connor puts a hand on my back, and leads me to my bed. “And, it’s fine. I, uh, don’t hate me for this.”

I shake my head. “I won’t.” How could I ever hate him?

“Alright, well, I came out to my parents. I told them that I was gay,”  Connor says, looking away from me. He seems embarrassed. Does he really think I’d laugh at him for this? Oh God, I’d never. I’d never laugh at him.

“You-you’re gay? Seriously?” I asked. Shocked. I really had no clue, but I am very excited.

“Uh, yeah. Look, if it’s a problem I can just-“

“Nononono, it’s not a problem at all!” I rush out, jumping from my spot on my bed, waving my hands in his face. “In fact, I just s-so happen to be bisexual.”

“Seriously? I, wow. That’s, wow, um, how’d you find out?” He seems to be extremely happy. But it’s probably because he now knows that I won’t laugh at him. God I wish it was because he liked me back.

“Oh, well, in middle school I had a crush on Michael Mell, but you know, I use to have a crush on Zoe and-“

“Wait, use to? You don’t anymore?” Connor’s eyes seem to brighten even more.

“Uh, yeah, I don’t. Um, ho-how’d you know?”

“Well, I always have? When I was like, ten, or something, I was at my cousin’s house and he’s about four years older than me. When I was younger I totally idolized him, and I never left him alone. Anyways, he’s also hella gay, the only difference is that his parents are chill with it. So, when my family arrived at their house for Christmas, he took me to his room. He said that he had to show me something. I think he was trying to scare me away, because what fourteen year old wants to hangout with a ten year old. And, when we got to his room, he pulled out this box of magazines, and they were filled with men and well, I didn’t think it was weird? My cousin from then on thought I was ‘cool’ enough and chilled with me and taught me all I need to know.”

“So, you found out cause your cousin was trying to scare you with gay porn?” I ask, laughing a bit.

“Yup, and it totally backfired.” Connor laughs with me.

We just sit there, laughing for a good five minutes. I’ve always loved these moments. Sure, I’m way to scared to tell Connor how I feel. However, being with Connor, makes me so happy, and seeing him happy makes me even happier. Oh God, I feel like some teenage girl from a sappy romantic comedy.

“Hey, Evan, if you don’t like my sister, is there anyone else you have in mind?”

Oh God, I can’t lie to him, but I can’t say I like him! “Oh, uh, yeah, there’s this guy I have in mind.”

Connor’s face seems to fall, but the disappointed look from his face is quickly wiped, and replaced by fake excitement. That has to mean something, right?

“What’s he like. Tell me about him”

I pause for a second. The only reason he’s acting like this is because he likes me, I hope, so let’s test it.

“Well, his eyes are beautiful, they are this amazing blue color, like the sky. But they have this small speck of brown in his left one.” I glance at Connor, and I notice that he’s now looking away from me. He seems a little upset. He defiantly doesn’t realize I’m talking about him. God he’s oblivious.

“Oh, that sounds, um great.”

“And his hair looks really soft and I always want to run my fingers through it. It’s a really pretty brown that matches the brown in his left eye.”

“Mm”

“And, he’s taller than me, which is a plus.” I have no idea where this burst of confidence has come from, but I like it. It’s really helping me.

“I prefer shorter guys.”

“And, it’s kind of funny. I use to like his sister, but ever since we’ve become friends, I started to like her less and him a lot more. And whenever we talk, I always feel so happy. I love helping him. I also love that he feels like he can come to me for anything, especially tonight. I really appreciate that you came to me tonight.”

Connor’s head snaps back at me, his eyes wide, and hopeful, and excited. “Wh-what?”

I grab the collar of his shirt, and pull him forwards, still grateful for this confidence surge. Our lips touch, and he doesn’t pull away. It feels good to actually get the fact that he likes me back right.

Kissing Connor is better than I ever thought it would be. His lips are slightly chapped, and it’s very obvious that he smoked a but of weed while heading over to my house. Connor moves his hands, which were previously in his lap, and puts one on my cheek and the other on my waist. I loose my grip on his jacket, and move my hands to his hair, finally getting to run my fingers through his waterfall of hair.

We sit there, on my bed, kissing for about three minutes before we both pull away, gasping for breath.

“God, I thought I’d never be able to do that with you,” Connor says softly, his breath tickling my face.

“Well, if you say the right things at the right times, you may just be able to do that whenever you want.” I laugh.

“I feel like you telling me to ask you out, is that the right feeling or no?”

“God, Connor, of course that’s what I’m getting at.”

“Well, in that case, there’s this light show in Evanston on Sunday night, and I just so happen have two tickets to it. You wanna go to it?”

“Is it near trees?”

“On the edge of a forest.”

“Hell yes I wanna go!”

Connor laughs, pulling me closer to him. He then leans down and kisses me once, twice, three times.

“Come on, it’s getting late, let’s get to bed.”

“Am I allowed to stay in your bed and cuddle you instead of getting a blowup mattress for the flow this time?”

“Of course, I’m not letting my boyfriend sleep on a lumpy air mattress.”

“Good, I’ve always wanted to snuggle up against you, that sounds creepy.”

“Eh, I  understand what you meant.”

Connor chuckles, as he gets up to get us both some PJ pants. He’s kept a few pairs of pants here ever since his dad got pissed at him for missing curfew. His dad thought he was out getting high. He was really calming me down after a panic attack, I felt terrible, so I had him stay at my house.

Connor throws me a pair of plaid pants, and I quickly change into them. Both of us sleep shirtless, and I’m now positive that I’m not the only one that stared at the other during our past sleep overs. Connor crawls into my bed, and pulls me into his chest.

“Good night Evan.” He softly kisses the back go my head, nestling his face into my neck.

I grin, “Good night Connor.”

I close my eyes, and fall asleep, a smile on my face. I’m shocked I was able to tell Connor how I felt, but I’m extremely glad I did.

[ao3feed-kleinsen]

We Are One

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/34LDZLO

by SpaceIsAThingINeed

Evan still continues to go on and on about Connor, even after his death. Oblivious to how Jared feels.

Jared's had enough of that.

Words: 1454, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con

Categories: M/M

Characters: Evan Hansen, Jared Kleinman

Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman

Additional Tags: Bisexual Evan Hansen, Minor Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy, Gay Jared Kleinman, Jared Kleinman Being an Asshole, Rape/Non-con Elements, Non-Consensual Touching, Somnophilia, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, Dead Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Light BDSM, Smut, My First Smut, Light Bondage, Gay Sex, Blow Jobs, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/34LDZLO