#and ESPECIALLY bc when school starts again for me (August 13) I might have to slow down even more on writing bc I’m in all advanced classes

[francixoxoxo]

I’ve been struggling with writing and motivation lately to be totally honest

[tinycaprisun]

✨twenty questions✨

i was tagged by @freshlysqueezedmox !!! thanks summer i always get good and in my feelings when someone’s tags me in things 🧡

—

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

uh, liz is cool but really u can call me anything, like i’ll respond to bastard if u yell it loud enough

2. when is your birthday?

february 29th & yes i am not joking i was born on leap year and my day of birth only exists once every 4 years

3. where do you live?

in super mega ultra hell. is that meme already dead bc idk i like the verbiage of it lmao- no but for real i live in missouri, and there isn’t much to do other than stare at a giant hunk of curved metal and eat barbecue that the locals tell u is the best thing since sliced bread & maybe it is i just don’t like it myself ahaha

4. three (3) things you are doing right now?

aside from answering this? well listening to 9 to 5 by dolly parton bc yeehaw, petting my cat who’s curled up on my foot, and slowly waiting for the day to end

5. four (4) fandoms that have peaked your interest?

oh god there r too many to count but as of rn? probs wrestling, buzzfeed unsolved, rupaul’s drag race & just drag in general, and achievement hunter

6. how has the pandemic been treating you?

um... if you would like the honest answer, not great... i lost my job in august so i haven’t been employed for a few months now. my dad hasn’t been making the money he used to so i’ve started helping paying the bills w/ the funds i had saved for going back to college from when i did have that job. sort of become a recluse again, where i almost never leave the house outside of small trips to the store or the literal once in a blue moon going and social distantly see a friend. it’s basically the life i lived in early 2019 while i’m very lonely all the time while trying to solve the problems of my family as the same time? whatever who cares i’m moving on

7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now?

oddly enough, ‘positions’ by ariana grande! i don’t listen to her all that often but for some reason this song really stuck to me! i especially like the versions of it where it’s slowed down and had reverb!

8. recommend a movie?

this might be out of left field, but ‘motocrossed’! it’s one of those disney channel original movies that i grew up with and it’s still pretty good to this day! the movie’s about (and this is in the words of the legendary nakeyjakey) girls pretending to be boys so they can ride dirt bikes

9. how old are you?

20!

10. school, university, occupation, other? 

as i said before i am now unemployed. and before that i did try to go to university once but failed out of all my classes due to never going to them because i couldn’t force myself to get out of bed. i want to go back to school so fucking bad for secondary education physics as a practical career. but recently i’ve been teasing the idea of becoming a ring announcer because my voice was build to shout really loud, but who knows, u know?

11. do you prefer heat or cold?

cold 100% bc i cannot function in environments above 75° (fahrenheit). like it can be -7° outside and i’ll be pleased as punch but as soon as it gets up there in temp? i melt like a popsicle

12. name one fact others may not know about you.

i used to be a gymnast! did all the flipping and the balance beam stuff & maybe thinking abt doing it again. idk i just want to do a backflip and have cool muscles

13. are you shy?

it kinda depends? i can be the most loud and unabashed son of a bitch if i want to, but sometimes i do get into my own head and go silent and nervous.

14. preferred pronouns

she/her and they/them! and they r not “preferred”, they r my pronouns! :D

15. biggest pet peeve?

okay this isn’t as profound or interesting as summer’s was, but people who scrape their forks against their teeth! it is one the worst sounds known to man and it hurts my already messed up ears

16. what is your favorite “dere” type? 

tsundere? i think? sure, i’ll go with that

17. rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy, 10 being the best it could be. 

5, and this calvin and hobbes comic explains why

18. what is your main blog?

this. she’s been through a lot and i feel sorry for her honestly

19. list your side blogs and what they’re used for. 

i used to have separate blogs a LONG time ago for art and writing, but as it turns out i’m shit at both so they got deleted and this is all i have now

20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends? 

if we aren’t counting the fact that i’m an asshole, i would say that i have the worst tendency to delete messages i send after a while. basically my brain goes into panic mode if someone isn’t responding back thinking “ur annoying them, they don’t want to talk to u. u should delete what u sent because u should have never of said anything in the first place! only speak when spoken to!” u know, the usual.

—

certified and honorary cowboys i’m tagging: @orangechuckiet @darbs @yellow----daisy @trent-heel-beretta and anyone else who would like to participate i realize this is over a day old, soz for bothering y’all

[eventuallyfall-blog]

13 Envelopes

pairing: reader x lin summary: After graduating from UCLA, you would find any way to escape having to go back home. Lucky for you, your Aunt Jasmine Cephas Jones had organized a way for you to have the adventure you’d never gotten to have before. You’re ready to take her up on the offer. warnings: rpf (naturally), mentions of teen pregnancy, swearing a/n: i was tryin to post this august 6th but then i had a hard time writing thru it bc i made myself sad with my writing because that’s a thing i do i guess. anyway let’s get crackin tagged: @defenestrate-yourself-please@justabravelittleblogger @decayingtrash @andschuyler @linslovelylocks @sarahgurl09 @artofnerdom

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

Ever since the date, you had been utterly giddy. You were suddenly extremely grateful that your Aunt Jasmine had decided to shove you to asking someone out. It was like you were walking on air, actually. “So wait, he actually kissed you?” “For the last time, Pippa, yes,” you said with the widest grin as you remembered the feel of his lips against yours. It'd been ages since you and Pippa had gotten to hang out. Right now, Pippa and you had made tea and decided to catch up on the couch. “I mean, you knew Aunt Jas was going to make me ask someone out, though? You couldn't have warned me?”

Pippa laughed, shaking her head. “Your aunt really wanted everything in the envelopes to be a surprise so no, I couldn't,” she said with a grin. “Besides, I only knew the contents of that one letter because she mentioned that you were still single and she felt that you should be going on dates and what not. I think she did you a favor. From the way you and Lin were acting, the two of you would've danced around asking the other out until someone else asked you out and end up married to someone else. Which is what happened with this other girl he liked a few years back.”

“Really,” you said with your eyebrows going up. “So then it sounds like Lin also owes Jas a thank you and not just me.”

“Oh for sure,” she said with a giggle, leaning back with a bright grin. “You're a catch! I mean, you are so pretty and smart. Exactly his type, funnily enough. Which it turns out that's also Michael's type.”

“Who the fuck is Michael?”

“The guy the girl he liked ended up with,” she explained as she finished off her tea and stood up. “Lin was bitter about it for a while there, but I think he's getting over it. Oh, you should open the next letter. I wanna know what letter five is all about.”

Envelope five had a small drawing of a girl that looked vaguely familiar. It took a minute before you realized it was your mother, age twenty-seven. She hadn't looked that vibrant and glowing in years. It was like life had started to suck the life out of her. You didn't realize that Aunt Jasmine remembered how your mom looked back then. Normally you discarded the envelopes but you set this one down with the intention of keeping it.

Honey bun,

Sometimes life doesn't have direction. When I was born, Anya was already fifteen and a full fledged teenager. Our dad and her mom had split ages ago – shortly after Anya was born, actually. Dad was only nineteen when your mom was born and her mother was only eighteen. Instead of taking responsibility and staying with dad, she split. He knew that relationships when you're a teenager aren't meant to last. He was worried that Anya's relationship wouldn't make it despite your existence and that she'd be left with little to nothing. Honestly, what I admire most about Anya and your father is that they still went to college and took care of you. It wasn't an easy task and I'm not sure you remember them being on food stamps and living in a crappy married couples dorm in Stanford.

They made it work, though. Stanford saw the happiest years of your parents' lives because there's something about being in school that made it easier. They had a roof over their heads, they had a schedule. It all fell apart upon graduation – which you probably don't remember well. I barely remember it myself. The only reason I know is because my dad told me about how he'd been surprised how steady their relationship was while he and my mom were raising me. I think when I turned ten is when your mother decided she didn't want to see him and my mom together anymore but I still wanted to see you and her. So I started visiting California on my own on dad's dime with his blessing.

Relationships are a tricky thing to explain, actually. It's the sort of thing that can feel like you're spinning rapidly out of control and it's easy to ditch them once it starts getting too serious. When you've got dreams, it's easy to see love itself as a baggage. That's how I once thought of love, anyway. Neither your mother nor I had any real model of healthy relationships. I think it might be why your mother is so defensive of her relationship with your father. It's... real. Or real enough, really. I think once you've spent twenty-eight years with someone, it becomes harder to say this isn't working. You don't want to throw away all those years together. Especially when you can say you'd been together since high school.

See, your mother doesn't hear criticism well, especially since dad's been trying to get her out of that relationship since before you were born. Which is the only reason I was okay with the relationship, I think. It made me an aunt to you. You're the greatest thing to come out of that relationship. And honestly, this is why envelope five is a wild card – you get to decide what you need to do. You can open envelope six whenever you feel it's appropriate.

All my love, Aunt Jas

There was no answers to this. You couldn't tell what the appropriate time to open envelope six was. For some reason, right after reading this letter didn't feel like the right time. You tucked away the sixth envelope in your purse, figuring that the perfect moment would hit you eventually. You already knew your family had been a bit screwed up – it was obvious to anyone. Between the fact your aunt was barely two years older than and you being the product of a teenage pregnancy and your mother somehow also being the product of teenage pregnancy (you wondered what the odds on that happening were), there was too much to your family that you didn't want to go into. In fact, when Lin specifically asked about your family during the date you went out of your way to focus exclusively on Aunt Jasmine. It had just been easier at the time.

You talked about how before Aunt Jasmine turned 15, she had stayed in your room during summer vacations and how when she was 15 she started staying in fancy hotels under her dad's name. How she was the one who helped you picked out your homecoming dress freshman and sophomore year and how lost you felt when she wasn't there to help after. You danced around why she stopped showing up and merely mentioned being surprised at the contact she'd made two years ago. For some reason, it felt like luck that you hadn't opened the envelopes until now. While you were certain this trip would've been just as amazing two years ago, it felt like a crescendo in your life. Like this was the drum roll, leading up to something important that you've yet to figure out.

Maybe you were investing too much stock in these envelopes your aunt gave you. Maybe the goal wasn't to figure your life out. After all, you'd only been 22 when the letters arrived. There's no way it was as simple as “help you figure your life out”. Whatever was going on, you figured a breather from the envelopes would help you sort out what you needed to do next. What you needed was something to clear your head. Some space away from them, something that would take you away from the right now.

The answer of what you needed to do next was see the Museum of Natural History. You weren't certain how your mind connected the need for distance from the now to history. Perhaps it had been on your mind a lot due to your recent conversations with Lin. He texted you almost every day now, telling you how he couldn't wait to see you again. It was nice to see his name flash across your phone screen with your heart racing every time, even as you were swiping on the blood red of Vampira from Kat Von D. You texted Lin, asking him to send your aunt to meet you at the Museum of Natural History. A slight grin appeared on your face as he texted back with your aunt's number and that he'll let her know you'd like to see her.

It was then that you realized that you never told your aunt that you had bought a laptop and phone in New York City. You supposed you should probably let her know that you had done that and explain that you figured that you'd be staying in New York City for a while. It'd already been almost a month, you realized with a start. How long where you going to stay? You weren't even halfway through the envelopes and it's already taken almost a month to get through them. It was then that you started to calculate out how long it'd been. You arrived June 20 – a week after graduating. It was now July 18 – in two days it would be a month. Suddenly you wondered if you should be getting through the envelopes faster.

You were grinning when your aunt showed up. Here was the thing about your aunt: you always felt like she was so much prettier than you. It was just since the two of you were so close in age it seemed like you and her should have bloomed at the same time. However, when Jasmine bloomed, you... didn't. Jasmine got the attention from the boys and at one point over the summer, a crush you'd had all summer long ended up trying to get your aunt Jasmine's number. It was demoralizing to have your aunt get the guy you liked, to say the least. That was when your self confidence was definitely at its lowest.

Right now was no exception either. It was why you were still surprised that Lin showed an interest in you over your aunt – who was older (and a gap between 35 and 26 was far less insane than the gap between 35 and 24), with lighter skin and with far more control over her own curls, and far more knowledgeable about theater than you. Looking at her now, it was hard to believe this was the same woman you had once shared baths with at age five and harder still to believe that someone would actually chose you over her. She threw her arms around you, a big grin on her face. “Let's go look at some dinosaur bones.”

Dinosaur bones wasn't exactly what you had in mind – you'd really wanted to see the planetarium. You figured maybe there was a chance the two of you could do both. Some time to see dinosaurs and stars. While logically, you knew museums like this existed all over the country something about New York City made it feel different. It was that feeling again; that feeling that felt like you'd been struck by lightening and were unable to put the flames out. “And maybe some stars later?”

Jasmine laughed slightly – you weren't sure if it was because of your predictability or because she was laughing at you. You took the favorable option. “You want to look at the observatory, huh?”

And for a while, everything went fine. Aunt Jasmine starting telling you the stories of backstage life, with you clinging to every word and realizing you'd never met the rest of the cast beyond Phillipa and Lin. “So when am I going to get to meet everyone else?”

“In due time, honey bun,” Jasmine said as she read the plaque for the giant set of bones that was in front of the two of you. “Pippa says you're the best roommate she's ever had. She comes home and you've already cleaned everything and have a hot meal waiting for her. Sounds incredibly domestic.”

You supposed domestic was the right word for it. You found yourself settling more into Pippa's apartment over the past month. A week after arriving, you'd hung your clothes up in the closet. Two weeks after, you starting writing your own events you needed to get to on the big whiteboard that Pippa had hanging up in the kitchen. Three days ago, you paid for groceries in the place after you'd run out of chicken. You hadn't realized how quickly you slipped into treating Pippa's apartment like “home”. “I suppose it's just cause I can't do anything without a clear head. Cleaning helps.”

“You'd always been a neat freak,” Jasmine said with a sly grin on her face. “Whenever you'd come over to my hotel, you'd yell at me over leaving my clothes everywhere. Renee and Pip do the same thing in the dressing room. Well not yell... more like sternly talk to me about how it's a shared space.”

Jasmine was right – she'd always been messy and you'd always been the clean one. Cleaning up after everyone else's mess, the same way you always had chosen the clear cut path rather than taking risks. It had been the biggest opposition between you and aunt Jasmine. She was messy, a risk taker, the one who broke the rules. You were clean, the steady course, the one who abode by every rule. Even your notebooks told this – clean, neat, elegant notes. Everything laid out neatly in stark contrast with Jasmine. Her lighter but somehow messier. “You probably might need my help,” you teased. “I'm willing to come look at previews any time.”

“Oh no you don't,” she said, her eyes going wide. “Pippa insists you need to get the full experience opening night. Star studded VIP treatment and all that. I kinda agree with her.”

You shrugged, figuring at least you could find out how much 128 gigabytes really could store when it came to pictures. It did go against the spirit of the trip, but since it was starting to feel more like it'd be months before you returned back to reality... you wanted a way to call your mother is what you told yourself. You missed home. But you knew that it was all because you wanted a way to keep in contact with those you'd met in New York City. “Pippa likes to be bossy, doesn't she?”

And then your phone went off. The loud ringing meant it was probably Lin – either texting you or calling you. And then you saw Jasmine's face – you'd never seen that look on her face. Her lips had parted and her eyes just had a hint of something that looked... like hurt. The only time you'd ever seen her seem hurt is when your mother had told her that she was too young to understand her. “You brought your phone? On the trip where I said don’t bring your phone?”

Logically, you knew you didn't have to explain yourself if you had brought your phone with you. You knew that you were an adult and she couldn't prevent you from. But you didn't like how vulnerable Jasmine looked. Your aunt wasn't a vulnerable person. So instead of the 'so what if I had' answer on the tip of your tongue, you said instead, “No, I bought a new phone. The instructions didn't say I couldn't buy new electronics.”

“It was... implied,” Jasmine said, briskly starting to walk away from you. And your heart sank. You chased after her, calling her name until she spun around, clearly upset. “You just... you violated the spirit of the adventure!”

You sputtered in response. “The spirit of the adventure,” you said, seeing red. “We haven't spoken in almost ten years! And the first thing I get from you is ditch your phone and your entire life in Los Angeles to come hang out in New York City! We were like sisters growing up but here we are and I had no idea you were making a Broadway debut!”

Jasmine looked hurt by this. “At the time when I sent those, I didn't know I'd be making a debut on Broadway,” she said, folding her arms over her chest and pulling away. You knew that this was probably a point where you could apologize and everything would be fine and the two of you could go off the planetarium but the logic had checked out for the day. “What about you, huh? You took two years to even get around to this! It was supposed to be a graduation gift!”

“Graduation gift,” you said incredulously, shaking your head. “A better graduation gift would have been actually coming to my commencement ceremony. But you weren't there. You had... three separate tries at now! High school graduation – where were you? Not there! Bachelor's? Not there! Masters? Nope! I had to find out through your cast mates that you even knew that I had gotten my masters!” You paused, realizing by the look on her face that you had touched a nerve. “I'm flying back to LA. Tonight.”

And you stormed off with aunt Jasmine making no attempt to stop you from leaving. Yet when you arrived at Pippa's apartment with the intent of going back to Los Angeles and forgetting about the rest of the envelopes, your phone buzzed yet again. Lin's name flashed across your phone and the ticket Pippa promised to get you for the premiere of Hamilton caught your eye – sitting right there on the bedside table. The silver dress you planned to wear to the event was hanging on the door. And then the realization came that you couldn't leave. You had to see this thing through. So there was only one option you could really feel comfortable with: you dialed a number on your phone and through your tears, you managed to get out, “Can we hang out later?”

[talesofanotherpoorcollegest-blog]

my grandma and her favorite grandkid

Let me start by saying: I’m not writing this because I’m not her favorite kid and I’m jealous, I’m doing it because she wants to make sure every other grandkid knows who her favorite is and hum well… that’s rude.

 So, a little background first:

-          First of all, my grandma is a 79 year old woman who lives in a very conservative city. When my uncles and mom were still kids (my youngest uncle was just a few months old), both my grandma and grandpa moved to Germany and left their kids with my great-grandmother.

-          They left Portugal in the late 70’s with a very conservative mind, they were both born and raised in a very religious little town in the north. They lived in Germany for about 30+ years and when they came back for good (they would usually stay here during the summer time) and had the exact same mindset they had left with.

 Everyone in my family knows my grandma is a mean person. Let me explain that. She’s very devoted to her family, she helps everyone she can, which is a very good thing. However, when her mouth opens… Don’t expect nice things to come out.

 An example:

-          Her first job in Germany was as a nanny. She took care of this young little boy whom she saw as a son. She basically raised him. Sweet, right? Well, this one time during Christmas, my mom and her uncles were already adults by then, she said these exact words in front of them: “Your kids aren’t the ones you give birth to, your kids are the ones you raise.” I was in full shock when my mom told me this. She said this in front of her 3 kids, who she did NOT raise – she was talking about the little German boy she had looked after.

 Now, don’t think my mom and uncles aren’t grateful that she left in order to give them a better live (getting a job in Portugal was basically impossible at that time), but saying that is just hurtful.

  About the “fave grandkid” situation:

My oldest cousin was 15 when she got pregnant. She was in a relationship with a much older guy who, not only was a drug addict, but was also abusive towards her. She was going through her rebellious phase and she ran away from home to go live with him.

This was probably the biggest scandal ever in my family.

When my little cousin (let’s call her B.) was born things got even more complicated. The boyfriend who was still abusive ended up in jail for some reason I can’t remember. When that happened, we all thought my cousin and the baby would go back home… It was a shitshow. She went from guy to guy, she had no money or conditions to raise the kid… Long story short: my uncles went to court and got custody of little B.

B ended up getting psychological help at the age of 4. She was fine though, she was a very strong little girl and even now, at the age of 14, she never lets those bad memories bring her down. I admire her so fucking much for that…

 Having gone through all that (bad parenting, starvation, living with a drug addict, father being arrested and dying with an overdose, amongst many other things) my family felt very protective of her. And I understood that because I felt protective of her too.

 Fast-forward to Christmas 2015. I went up to my uncle’s house (where B lives) with my grandparents (no parents, they got divorced a while ago and Christmas is always a complicated thing). I was super excited, I looooove my uncles and B and I knew it’d be fun.

B was 13 and I was 19. On the very first day she showed all her possessions: her iPod, her iPhone 5, her MacBook, her iPad, her Wii, all her games (she gotten all these things in the past couple of months, grab onto this info, it’s important)… You name it, she had it. I wasn’t very bothered by this, she was 13, kids like to show what they own. But then things took a turn… She’s a tumbling gymnast (is that even how you say it?) and she competes all around the world – she’s really good. So she told me all the little adventures she’d had during those competitions when the adults weren’t around. Again, long story short, she had stories to give you 1000 STDs just by hearing them. I was worried, I mean come on, this kid is 13 years old… But then I remembered she lies a lot so I brushed it off. Kids, go figure. But it gave me this sensation that, even though she’s a kid and even though I’m sure most of the things she had just told me were a lie, I knew she wasn’t as innocent and she looked.

She proceeded by telling me she had been grounded for a whole month because she skipped school for 2 weeks straight – this was shocking okay, she’s the little angel of the family, she’s the one everyone knows will never screw up and blah blah blah. So I asked “how did you manage to get all these things if you were grounded for so long?” She pulled her phone and showed me her contacts list, I was confused, until I saw “Grandfather” followed by a bunch of money emojis. Her paternal grandfather had bought her everything she owned. And so I said “Oh, I had no idea you got along with your father’s family”, to which she answered (like it was the most normal thing in the world) “I don’t. Grandma ignores my existence, but Grandpa goes behind her back and buys me everything I ask for.” Oh. Okay. Well that’s… Hum. That was my answer cause I literally didn’t know what to say. Now bear in mind, when she told me this I assumed she had a good relationship with her grandfather, I understood that she didn’t get along with anyone else in her father’s family but I truly thought she spent time with her grandpa from time to time. Until Christmas Eve came around. We had just finished having dinner when the doorbell rang, it was him. She answered the door, he gave her a big envelope and wished her a Merry Christmas, in return, she said thanks and closed the door. My heart sank… No hug, no kiss, nothing. That old man left with the saddest eyes I had ever seen on anyone ever. I looked around to see how my family had reacted to that, but everyone was too focused on whatever they were talking about to notice what had just happened. I was in full shock.

When B. got back to the table my grandma was the first one to ask what was in the envelope, she showed her what was it and my grandma said “Good for you sweetie! He’s just doing exactly what he should do as a grandparent. Especially after everything his son put you through.”

Guys, I shit you not, I was so shocked and sad and disgusted and angry that I excused myself and went to the bathroom to cry. What the actual fuck had just happened and how the actual fuck did no one pay attention to it???? HOW ARE MY UNCLES ALLOWING THIS???? HOW IS GRANDMA BLAMING THAT POOR OLD MAN FOR THE ACTIONS OF HIS SON???? CAUSE IF SHE’S BLAMING HIM FOR WHAT HIS KID DID THEN SHE SHOULD BE BLAMING MY UNCLES FOR LETTING THEIR DAUGHTER RUN AWAY, BUT NO!!!! ALL MY LIFE I HEARD HER BLAMING B’S FATHER FOR MY COUSIN’S ACTIONS. JESUS CHRIST I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW.

 I literally had to stop writing for about an hour to calm myself down.

Anyway.

 This changed everything. B was no longer the sweet little angel I had grew up with. She was a mean, manipulative, self-centered, cold-hearted 13 year old little bitch.

Trust me, I know this has a lot to do with the fact that she’s young, but still.

 Fastfoward to Summer 2016. Every year since I was a little kid I would spend the month of August up in the north at my grandparent’s house. I’ve always loved it there but specially now that I had a boyfriend (who was studying in Lisbon and was from the exact same city as my grandparents), I had this little group of friends and summer nights were the best (still are).

This one random day I was in the kitchen with my very-broken-barely-functioning-laptop, both my grandparents were there too.

 Here’s a dialogue of what happened next, enjoy:

Grandma: “How much did that cost you?”

Me: “I didn’t know, my mom bought it a few years ago, but it must’ve been cheap” (she knows we don’t have much money).

Grandma: “Well your cousin is clearly the smart one! She asked her grandpa for a laptop that was 1000€ and he bought it! She even sold the phone he gave her (the iPhone 5) and bought the new one!” (and she said all this with the biggest smile on her face, like she was proud).

Me: “Yeah but… Why does a 13 year old kid need all that?”

Grandpa: “Exactly, she’s a kid, she doesn’t need any of it.”

Grandma (sounding super offended): “It’s his job as a grandparent!”

Me: “And it’s her job as his grandkid to be thankful.” (I was feeling very rebellious right now okay, my grandma is crazy in love about B and I knew this was a ballsy move).

Grandma (sounding even more offended – which was a lil scary): “Don’t say those things about your cousin! She loves him! She’s always telling me she likes him very very much!”

Me (about to lose it): “But she never spends time with him… She asks for stuff she doesn’t need, he goes behind his wife to make his only grandkid happy, and she doesn’t reciprocate. All that man wants is a hug and I can promise you he has never gotten one from her.”

Grandpa (without giving time for my angry grandma to answer): “She’s right.” (and he said this with a super calm voice, my grandma turned to him in shock cause you know, he was attacking her precious little angel with the truth.

 That was it, the conversation ended right there.

 About two hours later we were talking about my boyfriend, she was asking me a bunch of questions about him and his family cause you know, it’s a small town and everyone knows each other.

She asked me who he was living with in Lisbon, I told her he was living with his uncles (who are like super rich), I added that they didn’t like me very much cause I didn’t live in the “””nice””” part of Lisbon, that I was just a nobody who had no dreams. I said this in a careless tone bc well, I really didn’t care (still don’t). But my grandma was angry and she turned to me and said (seriously, prepare yourself): “WHEN YOU MEET THEM YOU TELL THEM THIS (she paused and I was expecting her to say something like “I might be poor but at least I’m the first one of all my cousins to go to college!!! Idk guys something along those lines) ARE YOU HEARING ME, YOU TELL THEM THIS ‘I MIGHT NOT LIVE IN A BIG FANCY HOUSE BUT AT LEAST I HAVE A COUSIN WHO’S A PROFFESIONAL TUMBLING GYMNAST’!!!!!!!!”

 What.

What..?

Even my grandpa was giving her a “wtf” look.

 Well thanks grandma, that was the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me.

 Jesus I cannot tell you how I felt in that moment. I wasn’t even offended I was just really confused… Am I really that worthless to you? Is B. really all you care about?

 Guys, call it jealousy if you want, by all means go ahead. But that moment right there changed my relationship with both my grandma and B forever.

 That was the moment I finally understood why people said she was mean. And don’t think she’s just an old lady who doesn’t think before speaking. She knows what comes out of her mouth. And guys, that was just a little episode of the many many many more I have with her.

 Few examples:

-          She keeps telling people my parents don’t visit her together because they never have vacations at the same time when in fact, not only have my parents been divorced for almost 8 years, but my mom has visited her with her new boyfriend… She’s that ashamed.

-          On a random day (same summer) she gave me 5€ for ice-cream and then she proceeded to take it out of my hand and hand it to B. ????????? idek

-          She blames everyone around her for everything that goes wrong in her life. My youngest uncle has been to jail a couple of times bc drugs and she insists on blaming his “crazy” ex-wife when WE ALL KNOW he has been doing drugs looooong before he even met her.

-          She insists my brother (who is older than me and lives with her – only because he was accepted to college where she lives) is a nobody with no ambitions when he’s a good student who also works everyday.

-          Everyone we hang out with are bad influences and should burn in hell: she doesn’t want anyone to know I have a boyfriend because it makes me look like a whore. Very sweet of her. She also doesn’t allow my brother, who is 23 years old, to sleep at his girlfriend’s house because “if she wants you to sleep there with her it’s because she’s a filthy whore!!!!”.

-          She knows we don’t have financial security so every single fucking time she sees me with something new (clothes or shoes) she says “I bet you got that at one of those second-hand stores”. It’s not even about that fact she says it, it’s the way she says it, like she’s trying to shame me for not having much money…

  I could go on but tbh I’m tired of this.

I’m staying with her in a few weeks so it should be interesting. And please, don’t think I’m not thankful for what she’s done for me, I am. But mean things like this don’t go unnoticed…

 That’s it for today guys. This was a long one but I truly hope you enjoyed it.

 Like and reblog my story so more people can read it!

I’ll see you next week with a new adventure, meanwhile, follow me on twitter so you can keep up with my sad and definitely not exciting life!

 - CG.