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talesofanotherpoorcollegest-blog · 7 years ago

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my grandma and her favorite grandkid

Let me start by saying: I’m not writing this because I’m not her favorite kid and I’m jealous, I’m doing it because she wants to make sure every other grandkid knows who her favorite is and hum well… that’s rude.

So, a little background first:

- First of all, my grandma is a 79 year old woman who lives in a very conservative city. When my uncles and mom were still kids (my youngest uncle was just a few months old), both my grandma and grandpa moved to Germany and left their kids with my great-grandmother.

- They left Portugal in the late 70’s with a very conservative mind, they were both born and raised in a very religious little town in the north. They lived in Germany for about 30+ years and when they came back for good (they would usually stay here during the summer time) and had the exact same mindset they had left with.

Everyone in my family knows my grandma is a mean person. Let me explain that. She’s very devoted to her family, she helps everyone she can, which is a very good thing. However, when her mouth opens… Don’t expect nice things to come out.

An example:

- Her first job in Germany was as a nanny. She took care of this young little boy whom she saw as a son. She basically raised him. Sweet, right? Well, this one time during Christmas, my mom and her uncles were already adults by then, she said these exact words in front of them: “Your kids aren’t the ones you give birth to, your kids are the ones you raise.” I was in full shock when my mom told me this. She said this in front of her 3 kids, who she did NOT raise – she was talking about the little German boy she had looked after.

Now, don’t think my mom and uncles aren’t grateful that she left in order to give them a better live (getting a job in Portugal was basically impossible at that time), but saying that is just hurtful.

About the “fave grandkid” situation:

My oldest cousin was 15 when she got pregnant. She was in a relationship with a much older guy who, not only was a drug addict, but was also abusive towards her. She was going through her rebellious phase and she ran away from home to go live with him.

This was probably the biggest scandal ever in my family.

When my little cousin (let’s call her B.) was born things got even more complicated. The boyfriend who was still abusive ended up in jail for some reason I can’t remember. When that happened, we all thought my cousin and the baby would go back home… It was a shitshow. She went from guy to guy, she had no money or conditions to raise the kid… Long story short: my uncles went to court and got custody of little B.

B ended up getting psychological help at the age of 4. She was fine though, she was a very strong little girl and even now, at the age of 14, she never lets those bad memories bring her down. I admire her so fucking much for that…

Having gone through all that (bad parenting, starvation, living with a drug addict, father being arrested and dying with an overdose, amongst many other things) my family felt very protective of her. And I understood that because I felt protective of her too.

Fast-forward to Christmas 2015. I went up to my uncle’s house (where B lives) with my grandparents (no parents, they got divorced a while ago and Christmas is always a complicated thing). I was super excited, I looooove my uncles and B and I knew it’d be fun.

B was 13 and I was 19. On the very first day she showed all her possessions: her iPod, her iPhone 5, her MacBook, her iPad, her Wii, all her games (she gotten all these things in the past couple of months, grab onto this info, it’s important)… You name it, she had it. I wasn’t very bothered by this, she was 13, kids like to show what they own. But then things took a turn… She’s a tumbling gymnast (is that even how you say it?) and she competes all around the world – she’s really good. So she told me all the little adventures she’d had during those competitions when the adults weren’t around. Again, long story short, she had stories to give you 1000 STDs just by hearing them. I was worried, I mean come on, this kid is 13 years old… But then I remembered she lies a lot so I brushed it off. Kids, go figure. But it gave me this sensation that, even though she’s a kid and even though I’m sure most of the things she had just told me were a lie, I knew she wasn’t as innocent and she looked.

She proceeded by telling me she had been grounded for a whole month because she skipped school for 2 weeks straight – this was shocking okay, she’s the little angel of the family, she’s the one everyone knows will never screw up and blah blah blah. So I asked “how did you manage to get all these things if you were grounded for so long?” She pulled her phone and showed me her contacts list, I was confused, until I saw “Grandfather” followed by a bunch of money emojis. Her paternal grandfather had bought her everything she owned. And so I said “Oh, I had no idea you got along with your father’s family”, to which she answered (like it was the most normal thing in the world) “I don’t. Grandma ignores my existence, but Grandpa goes behind her back and buys me everything I ask for.” Oh. Okay. Well that’s… Hum. That was my answer cause I literally didn’t know what to say. Now bear in mind, when she told me this I assumed she had a good relationship with her grandfather, I understood that she didn’t get along with anyone else in her father’s family but I truly thought she spent time with her grandpa from time to time. Until Christmas Eve came around. We had just finished having dinner when the doorbell rang, it was him. She answered the door, he gave her a big envelope and wished her a Merry Christmas, in return, she said thanks and closed the door. My heart sank… No hug, no kiss, nothing. That old man left with the saddest eyes I had ever seen on anyone ever. I looked around to see how my family had reacted to that, but everyone was too focused on whatever they were talking about to notice what had just happened. I was in full shock.

When B. got back to the table my grandma was the first one to ask what was in the envelope, she showed her what was it and my grandma said “Good for you sweetie! He’s just doing exactly what he should do as a grandparent. Especially after everything his son put you through.”

Guys, I shit you not, I was so shocked and sad and disgusted and angry that I excused myself and went to the bathroom to cry. What the actual fuck had just happened and how the actual fuck did no one pay attention to it???? HOW ARE MY UNCLES ALLOWING THIS???? HOW IS GRANDMA BLAMING THAT POOR OLD MAN FOR THE ACTIONS OF HIS SON???? CAUSE IF SHE’S BLAMING HIM FOR WHAT HIS KID DID THEN SHE SHOULD BE BLAMING MY UNCLES FOR LETTING THEIR DAUGHTER RUN AWAY, BUT NO!!!! ALL MY LIFE I HEARD HER BLAMING B’S FATHER FOR MY COUSIN’S ACTIONS. JESUS CHRIST I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW.

I literally had to stop writing for about an hour to calm myself down.

Anyway.

This changed everything. B was no longer the sweet little angel I had grew up with. She was a mean, manipulative, self-centered, cold-hearted 13 year old little bitch.

Trust me, I know this has a lot to do with the fact that she’s young, but still.

Fastfoward to Summer 2016. Every year since I was a little kid I would spend the month of August up in the north at my grandparent’s house. I’ve always loved it there but specially now that I had a boyfriend (who was studying in Lisbon and was from the exact same city as my grandparents), I had this little group of friends and summer nights were the best (still are).

This one random day I was in the kitchen with my very-broken-barely-functioning-laptop, both my grandparents were there too.

Here’s a dialogue of what happened next, enjoy:

Grandma: “How much did that cost you?”

Me: “I didn’t know, my mom bought it a few years ago, but it must’ve been cheap” (she knows we don’t have much money).

Grandma: “Well your cousin is clearly the smart one! She asked her grandpa for a laptop that was 1000€ and he bought it! She even sold the phone he gave her (the iPhone 5) and bought the new one!” (and she said all this with the biggest smile on her face, like she was proud).

Me: “Yeah but… Why does a 13 year old kid need all that?”

Grandpa: “Exactly, she’s a kid, she doesn’t need any of it.”

Grandma (sounding super offended): “It’s his job as a grandparent!”

Me: “And it’s her job as his grandkid to be thankful.” (I was feeling very rebellious right now okay, my grandma is crazy in love about B and I knew this was a ballsy move).

Grandma (sounding even more offended – which was a lil scary): “Don’t say those things about your cousin! She loves him! She’s always telling me she likes him very very much!”

Me (about to lose it): “But she never spends time with him… She asks for stuff she doesn’t need, he goes behind his wife to make his only grandkid happy, and she doesn’t reciprocate. All that man wants is a hug and I can promise you he has never gotten one from her.”

Grandpa (without giving time for my angry grandma to answer): “She’s right.” (and he said this with a super calm voice, my grandma turned to him in shock cause you know, he was attacking her precious little angel with the truth.

That was it, the conversation ended right there.

About two hours later we were talking about my boyfriend, she was asking me a bunch of questions about him and his family cause you know, it’s a small town and everyone knows each other.

She asked me who he was living with in Lisbon, I told her he was living with his uncles (who are like super rich), I added that they didn’t like me very much cause I didn’t live in the “””nice””” part of Lisbon, that I was just a nobody who had no dreams. I said this in a careless tone bc well, I really didn’t care (still don’t). But my grandma was angry and she turned to me and said (seriously, prepare yourself): “WHEN YOU MEET THEM YOU TELL THEM THIS (she paused and I was expecting her to say something like “I might be poor but at least I’m the first one of all my cousins to go to college!!! Idk guys something along those lines) ARE YOU HEARING ME, YOU TELL THEM THIS ‘I MIGHT NOT LIVE IN A BIG FANCY HOUSE BUT AT LEAST I HAVE A COUSIN WHO’S A PROFFESIONAL TUMBLING GYMNAST’!!!!!!!!”

What.

What..?

Even my grandpa was giving her a “wtf” look.

Well thanks grandma, that was the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me.

Jesus I cannot tell you how I felt in that moment. I wasn’t even offended I was just really confused… Am I really that worthless to you? Is B. really all you care about?

Guys, call it jealousy if you want, by all means go ahead. But that moment right there changed my relationship with both my grandma and B forever.

That was the moment I finally understood why people said she was mean. And don’t think she’s just an old lady who doesn’t think before speaking. She knows what comes out of her mouth. And guys, that was just a little episode of the many many many more I have with her.

Few examples:

- She keeps telling people my parents don’t visit her together because they never have vacations at the same time when in fact, not only have my parents been divorced for almost 8 years, but my mom has visited her with her new boyfriend… She’s that ashamed.

- On a random day (same summer) she gave me 5€ for ice-cream and then she proceeded to take it out of my hand and hand it to B. ????????? idek

- She blames everyone around her for everything that goes wrong in her life. My youngest uncle has been to jail a couple of times bc drugs and she insists on blaming his “crazy” ex-wife when WE ALL KNOW he has been doing drugs looooong before he even met her.

- She insists my brother (who is older than me and lives with her – only because he was accepted to college where she lives) is a nobody with no ambitions when he’s a good student who also works everyday.

- Everyone we hang out with are bad influences and should burn in hell: she doesn’t want anyone to know I have a boyfriend because it makes me look like a whore. Very sweet of her. She also doesn’t allow my brother, who is 23 years old, to sleep at his girlfriend’s house because “if she wants you to sleep there with her it’s because she’s a filthy whore!!!!”.

- She knows we don’t have financial security so every single fucking time she sees me with something new (clothes or shoes) she says “I bet you got that at one of those second-hand stores”. It’s not even about that fact she says it, it’s the way she says it, like she’s trying to shame me for not having much money…

I could go on but tbh I’m tired of this.

I’m staying with her in a few weeks so it should be interesting. And please, don’t think I’m not thankful for what she’s done for me, I am. But mean things like this don’t go unnoticed…

That’s it for today guys. This was a long one but I truly hope you enjoyed it.

Like and reblog my story so more people can read it!

I’ll see you next week with a new adventure, meanwhile, follow me on twitter so you can keep up with my sad and definitely not exciting life!

- CG.

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