#and BY GOD does francis live in my head

[greeen-bean]

the real reason i like Frowan so much is because i hate to see rowan paired with someone i have not approved off. I am a "/original female character" HATER

[vixenihy]

Dinner for Two

Summary: March 1963, Jack and Jackie sneak away from their secret service men to go out for dinner, but Jackie wants to talk to Jack about something important.

Tags/Notes + Paring: jfk x jackie kennedy, mentions of infidelity, slight cursing, bobby kennedy mentioned.

Word Count: 1.4k words

A/N: I struggled to write this one because obviously being in public without USSS is a huge no. I tried my best and took some inspiration from the walks Jack and Jackie would take without the secret service knowing :)) hope you enjoy !!

Jack sits on the phone leaning back in his rocking chair, messing with the cord before anxiously tapping his fingers against his teeth. He does his best to quickly think of a way to keep his secret service around while also trying to live a normal life. At first, he considers allowing a few men to sit with them, but itll make the night so awkward…Fuck it, why not just sneak away from secret service for once?

“Uh-uh, right, just for two…At nine.” He finally says, downplaying his thick He wishes that he could just make a reservation for a restaurant like any other man, but of course the secret service always has to be right up his ass.

“The name?? Well..” He scrambles, looking around for a moment for something to say until his eyes land on Bobby, who’s outside playing touch football with the rest of his family, and he spits out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Francis!” He chokes, putting a hand to his head and sighing. God dammit…but before he can correct himself, he lets out a sigh of defeat and simply nods at the string of words on the other line before hanging up the phone.

Is he even allowed to do this? It gets so lonely being in such a high office, all he wants is a night with Jackie where he feels like a normal person.

When Jackie comes down the stairs, still in her nightgown from her nap, Jack smiles as she descends and makes her way over to him. He notices a peculiar look on her face, but before she can do anything else, Jack is the one to start the conversation.

“Hey, Kid.” He simply says, standing up slowly and with a grimace of pain.

“Hi, Bunny…Who was that on the phone?” Jackie asks, putting her arms around his neck and giving him a quick peck on the lips.

“I got us a reservation at a restaurant…A nice one! It can be just the two of us…” He continues, noticing his wife’s face flip to a look of horror.

“Jack, we can’t be out in public like that! We’ll be swarmed.” Jackie protests

“I booked it for nine. Come on, don’t you wanna live like a normal person once in a while? It’ll be fine, no one's gonna know.” He teases with a grin she’s come to know and love, brushing just a few strands of hair out of her eyes.

“Listen, if it doesn’t work out. We’ll just come home and…I’ll force Bobby to make us something.” Jack jokes with a wheezy laugh, making Jackie smile slightly.

“Alright then, but you need to find a way to look more inconspicuous.” Jackie teases, turning around and going up the stairs to figure out what to wear.

Jackie can’t help but smile as she goes up to her closet. She’s noticed a change in Jack lately. Ever since the issue involving Cuba and their missiles. She swears she can see a difference in his eyes when he looks at her. Before, his emotions were concealed behind a layer of charisma, even when they were alone. It was as if he’d learned how to hide his emotions, but was terrified of showing them when he needed to. But now she can fully see the love in his eyes that she’d only seen brief glimpses of beforehand when he let that mask slip.

Jackie knows that Jack loves her, even if he’s hurt her with his inability to stay loyal. She isn’t naive; she knows his compulsions and she’s realized in the past few months that he’s trying to get better.

Over the years, Jackie also noticed how complex her husband truly was. Jack isn’t shallow, he feels his emotions much deeper than most men; but he feels the need to hide it at all times and not let it show.

Seeing Jack in private, in the rare moments he’s allowed himself to be vulnerable and his true self, she’s noticed his shyness and his introverted nature. The charisma, the confidence, the need to talk to everyone was just a façade drilled into him by his parents. She could tell he wanted to, but he just didn’t know how. Perhaps tonight is the night where they can be normal people. They had very little opportunities to be able to step out of the spotlight and hide in the shadows. Tonight is their chance…

—

Jack fiddles with the hat on his head in the car mirror, grumbling to himself as he tries to make himself look as inconspicuous as possible. He looks behind him and in front of him…Unable to see any men in the dark of night to give them away. They did it, they snuck out of the house without the secret service tailing their asses. Jack looks at his wife with a mischievous grin on his face.

“It’s the best I can do…I'm not as good at disguising myself as you are.” Jack admits, stepping out of the driver's seat and onto the sidewalk as Jackie joins him by his side. She looks down and gasps silently as Jack interlocks their fingers. No one is watching…They’re safe.

He steps inside of the restaurant and releases their hands, looking around at the few people still left in the restaurant before tilting his head down to whisper to Jackie.

“I think we’re in the clear.” He mutters, chucking slightly as they approach the podium and allowing Jackie to speak for him. He has such a well known voice, he’ll be recognized in an instant if they don’t catch onto his appearance.

“Good evening, sir. My husband and I ordered a table for two? Under the name ‘Francis’” She tells him, her voice flat and strong as opposed to the voice she uses in public.

“Can’t your husband speak?” The reservationist asks, cocking his eyebrow at the couple who seems extremely familiar to him

“Oh, he’s sick. He asked me to speak for him as he’s lost his voice.” Jackie explains, lying to the reservationist and glancing up at her husband.

“And if you don’t mind, could we be seated somewhere in the back? Just somewhere private.” She continues, to which the reservationist simply sighs and leads them back to a small corner table in a dim, mostly empty part of the restaurant so they can finally have their private date.

——

The dinner had gone well and they'd kept a low profile. But Jack noticed Jackie seemed a little distant at times, as if she’d been in thought. Sometimes, she’d look at him as if she wanted to say something, but would go right back to her meal. Surprisingly, Jack had money in his wallet for once and was able to pay the bill once they were done.

“Keeping money in your wallet, Jack Kennedy?” Jackie teases quietly as they exit out the front door.

“Who’s Jack Kennedy?” Jack shoots back as they make their way to the car. But just when they think everything was pulled off, he notices a man with a camera down the street.

Shit, someone must have called and told the press that they were there.

“Damn, looks like we’ve got to go, Kid.” Jack sighs, getting into the car before the man can snap too many pictures.

Jackie doesn’t reply or even acknowledge what he’d said, as if she’s lost in thought again.

“Hey,” Jack mutters to catch her attention, putting a hand on her leg and watching her look into his greenish-gray eyes.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He asks, his head tilting slightly. Jackie sighs and glances away, gently removing his hand from her thigh.

“Jack…I wanted to tell you this for a while.” She starts, biting her lip and smudging what’s left of her lipstick.

“I went to the doctor a few weeks ago…While you were working, and they did some tests…” She explains, dragging it out a bit. She watches her husband's face slowly flow into a sense of realization and excitement, and so she decides to just spit it out.

“Jack, I'm pregnant.” Jackie finally says, gasping as she’s pulled into his arms and holding her in an embrace. Though it was a bit awkward with Jack's stiffness and having to reach across the break in the seat, Jackie holds him just as he holds her. He seems quiet and calm, but she swears she can feel tears of joy running down her shoulder, and that makes her smile ever so slightly.

[double--hh]

Incorrect TNMN quotes :3

(Its mainly businessreport/izaack x angus/abducius x zoth)

The majority of the residents of the Astral Circle Appartment Complex, "God fuck Zoth fr, I want that thing DEAD."

Abducius, kicking his legs and giggling on his torture table of a bed, "Heheh, god I want that fat man..."

---

Ishtar, feeding her multiple pet rats, "I dunno what you even see in him, Yan Luo, all he does is talk about his defunked pizza business and robots!"

Yan Luo, humming, "He makes me laugh, Ishtar... and I'm a bit to invested in his lore... because did you know, Freddybear, not to be confused with Freddy Fivebear, was-"

Ishtar, already zoning out, 'Oh they're perfect for eachother...'

---

Angus, sitting next to Izaack, "Y'know, Izaack, 'm a friend of Dorothy m'self..."

Izaack, choking on his wine and slaps his knees, "Who is Dorothy?! So many guys tell me this and I wanna know who she is!!"

Angus, "Oh my god."

---

Francis, "Mmm, Ciprianni, no offense, but of all the places y'could've chosen to live, why'd you choose this dump of all places? I mean, you're business man for godsakes!"

Angus, looking at his overtly materialistic appartment adorned with very expensive items, "Uhm, the pay isn't that great..."

---

Yog, Teutates, and Ah Puch, at Abducius' appartment, "Abducius, quit your job and join our metal band, it's called Splitknot and we're gonna play Quachil's Quince, you in?"

Abducius, clearly covered in slobber and deep bite marks with a glimpse of Zoth in the background, "Erm... lemme think about it, Teutates."

Yog, shaking head, "Nah, you're in, you're 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 freaky, I vibe with that."

Ah Puch, "How the hell did you do that with your mouth?!"

---

Abducius, happily hopping, "Eeek! I'm so excited we need to cut ourselves in half and sew whats left together!!"

Zoth, rubbing his temple and regretting asking him out, 'Oh my god he's not 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, he's just an absolute freak... I like that in a man."

---

Dr. Afton, walking into his appartment and falling to his kneese seeing Mia and Francis kissing, "NO! IM BEING CUCKED BY THE MILK MAN!"

Half an hour later, Francis fighting with Dr. Afton whos wrangling him with a breast pump, "NO! IM BEING MILKED BY THE CUCK MAN!"

[wexhappyxfew]

guide and guard

(a/n): the silver bullets girls before heading off on the schweinfurt-regensburg mission (and their chaotic early-morning discussions). also featuring annie x brady (if you squint... haha) as well as the general camaraderie of the silver bullets crew! :) please enjoy! this was a fun one that i've had on the brain for a while! :D

"30 more minutes of this fog and I'm gonna lose my mind." Carrie admonished through their comms system, her voice crackling over into Annie's ears, snippy and quick, with a bit of a kick behind it, "20 past six in the morning and it feels like it's midday."

"What the fuck is up with your internal clock?" Kennedy called back through comms, "Are you….God, what's it called, nocturnal, yeah, you nocturnal, Lieutenant? Oughta let the world know about that one."

"Alright, alright…." Francis called as Annie snickered in the cockpit, "nocturnal or not, the sun's barely risen, Carrie, how you think it's already midday?"

"Just feel like it, you don't feel it?"

"'fraid not." Francis called back.

"I'm still trying to work that coffee into my system, it feels like it's three am or something," Vivian said, stifling a yawn out to follow, "if it were midday, you'd be bouncing off the walls, Lieutenant."

"That's actually not entirely accurate, Ratcliff, but I appreciate your enthusiasm," Carrie called, "I'm just saying, this bombsight's ready to get her target, and drop those bombs. Sitting on a foggy tarmac ain't gonna do a thing."

"Hey, shit like this rolls in off of Lake Michigan and you thank God you're in your house and not outside. Kid brother said he saw a ghost one time." Margie called through the comms, munching on something from above - probably peanuts, she always had those things shoved in a pocket somewhere.

"A ghost?" questioned Judy, "That ain't a thing, Margie-"

"Oh yes it," Margie said quickly back, as a string of sighs echoed over the comms, "I swear to you all. Listen, listen, ghost, a deer, whatever, creepy as all get-out. He swore to it though."

"Should I even ask how old you were?" Francis said, leaning back against her co-pilot seat, eyes shut, attempting to nap, but listening to the symphony of the conversation running about.

"15, Lieutenant," Margie answered, "Jem was 6 - but hey, listen, that's not the point. The point is this fog is spooky shit and you start trying to fly in it, you'll disappear like…man, what - hey Viv, what was that pilot's name-"

"Amelia Earhart?" Viv offered, "Margie, you said 6-"

"6 I tell you!" Margie said, "But yeah, yeah, Earhart - I'm glad they grounded us here. Don't gotta risk our necks flying in a soup like this."

"With Bradshaw though, I'd trust her to fly us to hell and back if I'm being honest," Bessie called, "nothing a little fog'll do to Bradshaw, isn't that right, Annie?"

"Quite an ambitious thing to say, Bes, but I'll take the compliment." Annie called back, a few chuckles ringing over the comms at her words.

"You hear that? Lieutenant Bradshaw taking a compliment. Never thought I'd live to see the day, Lieutenant." Paulina called and the comms broke into chuckles.

"Hey, Bucky told Bradshaw she was a good pilot the other day and all she did was nod at him and pat his back, so," Marianne started, "I'd consider that the Lieutenant has bested Bucky Egan himself."

"Gotta admit, Lieutenant," Margie called over comms, "that was pretty damn funny."

"Humility never hurt a soul." Annie called back and the chuckles that broke out through comms were far more entertaining then they'd be in days.

"Neither does humbling," Carrie called, "well-"

"Hey, Margie, I think I see your ghost now!" Judy called.

"Judy! I thought you were on my side at least!" Margie said, with a chuckle, as Judy giggled again.

"Nah, that's just Brady," Kennedy called, "what the hell does he want?" Carrie snickered over the radio and Francis cracked an eye.

"He's come to see his lady." Francis said with a smirk over the radio. Annie's cheeks flamed and her eyes grew wide and she shoved Francis' shoulder, laughter echoing over the comms.

"He's just a friend." murmured Annie, trying to distract herself from her cheeks and the thought of Brady coming towards Silver Bullets, and for what reason, she didn't know.

"Howdy-do, Lieutenant Brady, what can I help you with?" Margie's voice echoed over the radio, "Or actually better yet - can you help us? Are we wheels up yet?" Whatever the response was no one heard, except for Margie's snort of laughter and a slap on the knee.

"Lieutenant Bradshaw!" Margie called, "Lieutenant Brady is in dire need of your assistance!" Annie watched as Francis snickered - to which Annie shoved her shoulder again and she slid past the top turret which Margie had swiftly removed herself from and dropped below, landing beside Margie, before crouching and seeing Brady's head just past the open latch.

"Hey," Annie said, and Brady, grinning, nodded to her.

"How's it going?" he asked her and she briefly caught Margie staring her down, Bessie and Carrie peaking out from the nose, curiously watching her.

"Good, good, what's up?" Annie said, before her mind seemed to recalculate a few things and she nodded at him, "Here, let's talk outside."

"What? And have us miss out on all this, Lieutenant?" Margie whispered to her as she sat on the edge of the latch. Annie gave her a look, to which Margie promptly laughed at, and then she disappeared, jumping down onto the tarmac. Looking up, in the incredibly dense fog that she could barely see much farther than in front of her with, she found Brady there.

"Whatever Margie said, I'm not a part of it," Annie said, with her hands up, as if in surrender, "that's just Margie for you." Brady chuckled and then nodded to her.

"She might've said something along the lines of that you were just itching to get off of the ground," Brady said, "that you needed someone to talk you off the ledge. I told her that didn't sound like the Annie Bradshaw I knew, but." Brady smirked at her expression and she shook her head with a laugh, watching Brady's eyes through the fog for a moment before nodding.

"That's not what you're really here for though, right?" Annie said, looking at him from underneath her own peak cap, before tilting her head, "Checking up on us?" She watched Brady smile, in that uncontrolled way where he didn't even seem to realize he was looking as happy as a lark, but then he seemed to come around and fess up, and nodded firmly.

"Yeah," he admitted, before chuckling, "I was trying to, I don't know…"

"Find a way around that…. in a way?" Annie said with a small chuckle and he shrugged his shoulders before crossing his arms.

"And also, just to say, it's our longest mission yet, deepest into Germany, so….if you all gotta bail out, just….try and keep your numbers. You don't know what they could do to you if you drop into Germany. As a pilot." And as a woman, Annie thought, but she didn't want to ponder that too hard. Annie watched his face change for a moment as he mulled it over and then nodded.

"But I know you'll all be fine though, Silver Bullets is always ole reliable," Brady said with a smile, looking back towards the plane, before looking to her, his voice growing serious and firm, "best of luck to you, Lieutenant." Annie smiled at him, her heart feeling warm from his tender gesture and she stuck out a gloved hand, to which he shook firmly, his touch lingering a bit longer than what any average handshake would've been.

That's not to say she's complaining though.

"You too." she said, before they dropped hands and she gripped her straps of the webbing and smirked at him, "See ya in Algeria!" And with that, she turned, glancing back over her shoulder with a wave and watched him disappear with that grin into the fog. Her heart pounded a bit, she thought she could've said something better, but she didn't ruminate. Heading back towards the B-17 standing in her foggy, silhouetted beauty, she smiled to herself before she began to hear footsteps somewhere behind her.

"Hey…Annie, wait up." she heard Brady call from behind her. Annie came to a pause near the nose of Silver Bullets, and turned to see Brady coming towards her. She caught his eyes, trying to dissect a bit of that worried haze in his eyes and found him instead, coming up directly to her, and wrapping his arms around her in a hug that engulfed her into his being and knocked her peak cap right off the top of her head, with a plonk onto the ground.

For a moment, she froze there, realizing every inch of him that touched her being, his breath in her ear, his pounding heart against her own chest.

Realization and the weight of everything seemed to kick in and she wrapped her arms around his form and found a brief moment to let herself smile into his touch and his want. The want for human touch in a moment that seemed distant.

Their friendship hadn't really gotten to this level - sure it was dancing, the crosswalk between laughing and flirting (maybe), the smiles, the buying each other drinks (he always did), even those looks that lasted longer than they should've - they had never initiated this. And it made her heart race. In an instance, Brady pulled back and held her by the shoulders, and gazed at her eyes for a moment.

"You okay?" she asked, taking her hands onto his arms and rubbing them gently, smiling slightly, "You scared me for a second there, running up behind me like that."

"Yeah, yeah," he said, smiling at her, and then rubbing her shoulders, "just….figured you needed that. You and I both, ya know." She watched him and then slowly nodded with a small smile.

"Thanks." she said softly and he smiled briefly before looking to her head.

"Shit, sorry," he said, breaking from her touch to reach down to the ground and pull the cap up, before placing it on her head, his fingertips lingering back her ears and cheeks, "sorry about that." Annie smiled and adjusted it slightly on her head before looking at him.

"Don't you worry your pretty little face about that, okay?" Annie said, before patting his shoulder, her face falling a bit as her heart shuttered a few misaligned beats, "Be careful up there, alright?" Brady nodded at her with a smile and then placed a hand on her shoulder and held it there for a moment longer.

"You too. Just….stay safe." he said and she smiled at him with a wide grin, before squeezing his shoulder and stepping away towards the latch to the belly of the B-17.

Annie couldn't force herself to watch him walk away because then a part of her would go with him and she couldn't focus on that now. She had a fort to position over Germany to drop bombs on the enemy.

Pulling herself inside, she heard Carrie yelling about something over the headset, Paulina yelling back, which made her chuckle. Pulling herself back into the cockpit, she saw Francis smugly watching her as she settled into the left side.

"What's that look for?" muttered Annie, strapping herself in and adjusting on the headset.

"-and I swear to you, Dougie was trying his best, but it was damn-near pathetic alright?-" Annie pulled one ear of the headset off as Paulina went to counter and looked to Francis who was still sitting there smug as anything.

"What'd he want, huh?" Francis asked, "C'mon, spill, or else I'll be bothering you as we head up. So, what was it?"

"He just wanted to tell us to be careful. Long mission and all, deep into enemy territory. He was just being nice." Annie offered, "It was sweet of him."

"So was that hug." Francis said with a snicker and Annie shoved her shoulder, before flipping her the bird and shaking her head, "Alright, just kidding, I think we'll be wheels up soon anyway, so, we should wrangle them all in, huh?"

"That's right," Annie said, popping on the two headset ears and adjusting properly, "hey, everyone, listen up. It'll be wheels up soon. Stop arguing about whatever Dougie was pathetically doing, we've got a fort to fly!" Francis looked over at her with a smirk, before nodding and looking ahead.

"When we're set, I'll give everyone a checklist, countdown, alright?" Francis said.

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Yes, Lieutenant." Annie looked forward and slowly narrowed her eyes towards the foggy sky.

Guide and guard, she seemed to whisper to herself in her head like a mantra - over and over.

[sunnyy3d]

Nightmare| Thomas Thorne x Reader

Warnings: death, implied suicide, angst

A/N: Please feel free to give me requests!!!

He is in the field. Oh God. What is he doing? I am running, but my legs aren’t carrying me fast enough. I will never get there in time. I am trying to scream, but nothing is coming out of my mouth. He does not need to do this. Whatever was said is not worth dying over. We have not even been able to get married yet; we are only newly betrothed. He cannot die! I am too late. I am at the field when I hear Byron’s gun go off. I was so close. Finally, I can get the words out of my mouth, “Thomas!” “My love,” he replies, holding his wound. “He shot early, we did not get to twenty paces.” “It is okay, Thomas. Someone, get a doctor!” I scream while clutching onto him. I am already sobbing when Francis walks up to us. I do not even notice until he puts his hand on my shoulder. “Get off of me and go get a doctor,” I command. Francis sighs, “There is nothing a doctor can do. The bullet hit too close to his organs.” “You do not know that. You are not a doctor, so go get one,” I yell at him. I hear Francis walk away. I hold tightly onto Thomas, “Thomas, you cannot die. I will not allow it. You cannot make me live without you, I simply will not.” Thomas raises his clean hand to my face, pulling me in for a sweet kiss. “I did this for you, my love. You shine brighter than the sun, and I could not let those charlatans get away with speaking ill of you. I would say I’m sorry, but that would mean that I have regrets, and I do not. It only saddens me that I will not get to spend more time with you. I love you, dear. Do not ever forget that.” “I love you, too, Thomas. Please do not go. We could have so much more time together,” I sob. I hug him, not caring if I get blood on my dress. Why has Francis not come back with the doctor? I pull away from the hug, hoping to get another good look at Thomas’ face. Maybe he can tell me something poetic, anything to prove he is not dying. But I get the opposite of that. Instead of a happy and alive Thomas, I see a pale and dead one. I start screaming and sobbing, gripping his shirt in my fists. After a little bit, Francis finally comes back. “Where were you? You let him die!” I yell, shoving him. Francis grabs my wrists and pulls me into a hug, but I quickly push him away.

I sprint back to the house, running into my room. What am I to do? I cannot live without Thomas. I pace in front of my bed, contemplating. I cannot live without him, so I shan’t, and I start devising a plan. I put on my best dress and fix my hair. I would look the prettiest I have ever been, if my face did not look so sullen. After ensuring everyone is asleep, I grab a candle and sneak out of my room. I head back into my room after grabbing the main step to my plan. Now, all I need to do is make sure that everything is in order. I place the letters down on my desk in a neat row. There is one for each member of my family that I am leaving. All I have to do now is go to bed. I lay down, trying not to think of my fate and the death of my love, but of the happy times I have spent with him and my family. Eventually, I drift off to sleep.

I wake up with a start, tears streaming down my face. I look around, spotting Thomas. Quickly, I hug him, sobbing into his chest. I hold him like I would die if I ever let go. He groans, waking up due to the sudden change. After realizing what is going on he sits up and grabs me, “What is wrong, my love? What has happened?” “I had a nightmare. It was of the day it occurred,” I explain, sniffling. Thomas pulls me in for a hug, shushing me and rubbing my back. “Oh, it is okay, dear. I am here now. It is all in the past. Nothing bad can happen to us anymore. Look, let us lie back down and sleep.” I let him bring me back down to the bed, not faltering on my grip. I lay my head on his chest, “Can you just talk to me?” He soothingly rubs my back. “Of course. Anything for you, my love.”

[mimisempai]

Their most precious treasure

Summary

Hearing Aziraphale explain the tradition of giving gifts to Muriel at Christmas, Crowley recalls another explanation given by Brother Francis years before. 

Notes

For @parttimefairy in exchange for your donation Alzheimer’s research UK

Prompt requested : "During Christmas time, Crowley and Aziraphale are spending time together preparing the festivities (possibly as Nanny Ashtoresh and Brother Francis for Warlock.) During that, they beginn to bicker about the meaning of Christmas and the purpose of gift giving."

INEFFABLE ADVENT CALENDER

On Ao3

Rating G -  1017 words

"Where did the tradition of giving presents at Christmas come from?"

Crowley paused in the doorway of the bookshop as he heard Muriel's question to Aziraphale.

The angel's words transported the demon back in time to when Warlock had asked them the same question.

"Where does the tradition of giving presents at Christmas come from, Nanny?"

Nanny Ashtoreth knelt down beside the little boy and began to explain, "That, my dear boy, goes back a very long way. The ancient Romans celebrated the feast of Saturnalia, where they gave thanks for the abundance provided by Saturn, the god of agriculture. The festivities were celebrated with a sacrifice and a public banquet, followed by private gifts, continuous parties, and a wild atmosphere where social rank was eliminated."

"What does that mean, social rank was eliminated, Nanny?"

Nanny Ashtoreth smiled softly and replied, "Here, for example, it would mean that there would be no more differences between you, me, your parents, and everyone who lives here. Even between me and Brother Francis."

"What kind of heresy are you telling him, Nanny?"

Nanny Ashtoreth watched as Brother Francis knelt and took little Warlock's hand. 

"We give each other gifts in memory of the wise men who laid gold, frankincense and myrrh at the feet of the infant Jesus."

Crowley shook his head and interrupted, "That was much later. The day on which gifts were exchanged was known as Sigillaria and took place on December 19th. Valuable gifts were at odds with the spirit of the season, so the Romans exchanged more modest items such as candles, seasonal figurines, and other gifts intended to amuse or terrify other guests. Etiquette dictated that the more modest the gift, the stronger the bond of friendship it represented."

"This sucks!" exclaimed Warlock.

Aziraphale smiled broadly, "Oh, then you prefer the story of the wise men."

"No, none of those stupid stories, I prefer the Santa Claus story we heard in school, it's much cooler."

The boy ran off under the eyes of Nanny and Brother Francis, who looked at each other in disbelief.

"So in the end, you see, there are many different meanings behind this gesture of gift-giving, but what I retain after all this time is..."

Crowley was pulled from his thoughts as the angel finished his explanation to Muriel.

The demon approached and Aziraphale, attracted by the movement, turned his head toward him before continuing softly, "It doesn't matter what reason tradition gives or what tradition you choose to follow, the important thing is that you give it with your heart, so even if it's a flower found on the side of the road, if you give it with your heart, the person you're offering it to will consider it their most precious treasure."

Muriel nodded and said quietly, "Thank you, I know what to do now."

Aziraphale asked gently, "What do you mean?"

She replied, "About Christmas presents. I know how to choose what to give you all."

Muriel took their coat and Aziraphale watched them go with a smile on his face as the demon approached him.

Crowley asked quietly, "Theirr most precious treasure, eh?"

The angel nodded and fumbled in his jacket pocket before pulling out a small cloth pouch and holding it out to Crowley. 

The demon took it, untied the string that held it closed, and turned it over in his open palm. A small, dried white flower fell out.

He looked sharply up at Aziraphale and whispered in wonder, "You've kept it all this time."

Aziraphale approached and, placing his hand on the demon's, said softly, "Of course, one of my most precious treasures."

"What's that on your hand, Nanny?" asked Brother Francis.

Taking off her snow-covered cloak after helping young Warlock shake the snow from his boots, Nanny Ashtoreth turned to Brother Francis and said in the same gentle voice she sometimes used with Warlock, "As we were returning from our morning walk, I saw this little white flower sticking out of the snow and I thought of you."

Nanny held out the little white flower to the gardener, who gently took it.

Brother Francis asked, "You thought of me? But... why?"

"A white flower that manages to grow in spite of the snow made me think of a certain angel who manages to move forward in spite of adversity."

Nanny Ashtoreth turned to take the young warlock to the kitchen for a snack, unaware that Brother Francis' puzzled gaze was following her.

Aziraphale continued, "The more modest the gift, the stronger the bond of friendship it represents. That's what you said. So of course it's become one of my most precious treasures."

He carefully placed the dried flower back in its pouch and slipped it into his jacket pocket.

He barely had time to raise his head before the demon cupped his face in his hands and, bringing his face close to the angel's, murmured against his lips, "Every time I think it's not possible to love you more, and every time you prove me wrong by doing something adorable like this.

Aziraphale chuckled softly and replied a little sheepishly, "But all I did was preserve this little flower."

Crowley replied, "A little flower given to you. By me. And you kept it all this time."

Then he pressed his lips to the angel's and kissed him tenderly.

When they parted a few moments later, Aziraphale said with a playful twinkle in his eye, "The more modest the gift, the stronger the bond of friendship it represents. So I've decided not to give you anything for Christmas this year."

The demon raised an eyebrow, "Angel?"

The angel continued, his expression still playful, "Well, yes, the modesty of the gift is exponential to the strength of the friendship, since I love you immeasurably, nothing is the most modest gift I can give you."

This time it was he who kissed the confused mouth of his demon.

But at the same time, who could disagree with the angel?

There was nothing more precious to offer each other than their mutual love.

Their most precious treasure.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Growing Love series : (After season 2) 

Part 1 Story 1-99

Part 2 Story 100-?

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here (Before season 2)

[daincrediblegg]

relationship asks: all numbers with a 6 in them, for lady terror of course ^_^

OH HELL YEAH THANK YOU KITTENS FOR THIS MAGNIFICENT OPPORTUNITY (this ended up being a 4 page fucking document but fuck it WE BALL. so I'll show a few and then put the rest under a cut- especially since some of them are a little bit raunchy. ENJOY MY LOVES COME GET YOUR SWEET FRANCIS/LADY TERROR CONTENT)

OC RELATIONSHIP ASKS

6. Who would ask the "would you love me if I were a worm?" question? How would their S/O answer?” Honestly I think Lady Terror would be the one to ask. Francis tells her yes and if she wanted to stay with him as a worm she’d “ be the best kept worm in all of christendom”, in his words (whatever that means, babygirl). 

16. Who is the better caretaker? Does their S/O like being taken care of? Honestly they’re both very good caretakers, though Francis is much better at “doing the things that need doing to care for a person” bit while Lady Terror I think is a bit better at like. Keeping people calm and feeling cared for (not to say that either of them are not as good as the other, because they certainly are, but they have their strong suits). And oh my god man yes Francis loves being taken care of by lady terror oh my god she lets him rest his head in her lap and everything.

26. Who gets jealous most often? How does their S/O deal with that? I honestly think it depends. I think Lady Terror has more potential to become jealous (even though it doesn’t happen very often honestly)  from 1) her lack of experience being committed to,  2) her own trauma from past relationships and coming out of those feeling horribly betrayed and 3) also the whole divorce scandal with her parents. Did I mention her parent’s divorce scandal? Yeah there was a whole divorce scandal. But even when she is jealous she remains relatively level-headed about it and doesn’t act out from it (usually, unless an offending party provokes her to it), and she is nothing if not articulate and aware of what she’s feeling. And credit to Francis where it’s due he’s never been dismissive of her emotions, and that I think helps them actually work through it rather than let it escalate to lashing out or acting rashly.

Francis doesn’t so much have a jealousy streak when it comes to Lady Terror (though time was he might have, and he definitely knows that), and I think it’s because she has pretty consistently made it clear that she has chosen him to share her life with, and having never been picked in such a way, has a bit more faith that she wouldn’t betray him. (also she’s always been the more sociable one. She’s definitely more of an ambivert than he is and doesn’t take personal offense in those kinds of situations. Besides, she will NOT interact with people she doesn’t want to interact with. He knows this and he loves her for it.)

36. What is something that would break their hearts? For Francis, I think it would genuinely be another romantic rejection- or more precisely to be left behind. I don’t think he could bear being rejected for a third time by anyone, let alone by Sofia but by anyone. He’s too old to have his heart broken like that again and it’s why he takes so long to even admit to himself that he has feelings for Lady Terror because he cannot fathom the kind of pain it would cause him.

Lady Terror however I think it would break her heart the most to be dismissed. To have her thoughts and feelings disregarded. Granted, she’s used to it happening with most men and some women, but to have it happen to her coming from someone she loves and respects and who she thought loves and respects her in turn would devastate her. 

46. If they were ever in a life or death situation, who risks their life?  Lmao both of them. Because they both have savior/self sacrificing complexes and they’re calculated with it but they WILL take a risk if it means saving more lives. It’s something that I think they admire about each other when hearing of their past exploits before they met.

56. Who tends to be the level-headed one? Who is feral? Oh Lady Terror is absolutely more feral. She is very very smart when she is feral but she is much more willing to act on impulse about it (for more information, ask Mr. Hickey. He knows.) Francis is definitely more level-headed but absolutely has more of a fiery temper in comparison to how cold Lady Terror’s fury is (but no less passionate, mind).

60. Are they willing to show PDA? If not, is there a reason? They ARE willing, but they are very very shy, (and also lmao you know how the victorians are about propriety if a couple isn’t married yet. Big no.) But also it’s a bit of a carry-over from their time on Terror. They did their damndest not to show that kind of affection for one another for fear of discovery (which would doubtless have caused a mutiny- if Francis’ pre-sobriety behavior hadn’t started that line of thought with some long before that). But they are not beyond the occasional hidden gesture of affection from prying eyes. Holding hands behind each others backs, brushing their fingers against one another subtly as to not give them away. They become more open about their affections eventually, but my god does it make them blush like crazy. 

61. How would they describe their S/O in one word? Francis (on Lady Terror): Good. Lady Terror (on Francis: Handsome.

62. How would outside characters describe their relationship? By-in-large I think people are a little skeptical at first about them together. Like perhaps they shouldn’t be together for some reason or another, that it’s a bit odd, a bit queer. But when people see how affectionate they are to one another, to see how much they truly care for one another? How Francis truly seems to soften and relax around her and how she brightens to talk about him… to those who know each of them best that’s the sign of true love right there.

63. How would they describe one another in bed? I think Francis would describe Lady Terror as a port in a storm. Welcoming, warm, tender in ways he never thought he’d know for himself. At the same time she rides him like the waves of the storm itself, and he can’t help but admire the sheer power she has over him and how easily he’s taken by her. Lady Terror on the other hand finds him sturdier and steadier than strong oak… and weirdly just as bendable (I mean HAVE YOU SEEN THAT MAN??? HE’S SO LIMBER FOR HIS AGE!!! It’s truly miraculous). Though his cock doesn’t quite always cooperate with this image she has of him (although it should be noted that he’s had a much easier time of it since he embraced sobriety it still happens every now and again), he’s very grounding as a lover and seems to find that her pleasures feed into his, to which she certainly has no complaints.

64. Would they ever answer the above question if it was asked to their face? How would they react? Oh Francis would be too much of a blushing mess. He was never one to kiss and tell much even with his closest friends like Blanky and Ross (even though those two definitely HAVE actually seen him in intimate positions before). But I think the lovestruck look in his eye would probably say all you’d need to know- that yes she fucks him well and yes that is probably where he’d rather be right now. Lady Terror might be a little more inclined to give a more cheeky answer in the company of a good friend, but otherwise much prefers to keep her and Francis’ doings to Francis and herself.

65. Who tends to take the lead in intimate encounters? They both can, and do. Both of those bitches are switches and they live up to it. Literally it all comes down to how either one is feeling on any given day.  

66. Have they ever been caught in the act? What would be their reaction if they were? Yes. By Blanky. Everyone else would have the care to knock first at Francis’ cabin door if it were shut but not Thomas (and understandably so). And listen. They’re all three of them good enough friends to laugh it off eventually, but that happens for some sooner more than others (aka. Thomas starts laughing about it immediately and making raunchy jokes while she and Francis scramble to make themselves relatively decent, even though it’s a bit too late for that now. It has Thomas in fucking stitches. He is genuinely happy for them but he can’t believe his luck). 

67. Have they ever done it anywhere questionable? Believe it or not, not particularly. At least not on Terror (they’re already paranoid enough about being caught behind closed doors in quiet hours, they’re not going to risk anything more). After that… well… you’ll find out.

68. Who is more vocal? Who is more experienced? I think Lady Terror is probably overall more vocal (but jesus christ when Francis moans it’d make an angel weep I swear to fucking god), and Francis is certainly more experienced overall, but there are times when she does things to him that have never been done to him before and it makes him feel like he’s a virgin all over again all the same (yes she gives him prostate orgasms. That’s what I’m implying here in case that weren’t clear). 

69. If they were to go shopping, who holds the bags? Who decides where they go? I think Francis would WANT to hold the bags but Lady Terror wouldn’t let him carry all of them. Lady Terror would probably plan where they go a little bit ahead of time but absolutely will deter said plans if Francis wants to have a look in somewhere. Whatever babygirl wants honestly.

76. Are they soulmates? Do they believe in that? I mean yeah duh what are you talking about I think they both think they have found something really rare and special with each other that I think they would qualify as being soulmates, but truthfully I think Francis might actually believe that more than Lady Terror does (and of course not to say that she doesn’t, but she’s formed many deeply meaningful connections with people and knows that Francis has as well, and she wouldn’t limit the depth of how she feels or has felt about others as lesser… but at the same time Francis is absolutely the love of her life and the only man who has ever truly treated her in a way that made her feel like an equal to him, and has wanted her romantically as such… so yeah. Soulmates without a doubt). 

86. Who gives the best gifts? Who gives the more thoughtful? Who goes for expensive?  Ok here’s the thing they both are VERY good gift-givers, both of them are VERY thoughtful and give gifts as truly heartfelt gestures. Though Lady Terror does tend to spend a little more money on her gifts sometimes (by virtue of being just a little more financially well-off) whatever she uses that money towards is no less heartfelt and will go out of her way to buy something dear to someone especially if they don’t have the means to get it themselves. 

96. Who reads the newspaper? Who wants to see the cartoons?  They have two copies of the paper delivered to the house bro BOTH these bitches READ. (but they save the cartoon page to read together. Most likely with Wee Ellie I MEAN HUH WHO SAID THAT???) 

[anavilante]

December Drabble Marathon 24/31: Learning to Belong

AU: Modern College

Word Count: 0.8К

Summary: When love pulls you into a family unlike any you’ve known.

The night was quiet, the crackling of the fireplace filling the living room with soft warmth and comfort. Outside the large window, a snow-covered garden stretched out, serene and untouched.

John sat cross-legged on the floor by the fire, while Gale, wrapped tightly in a blanket, huddled beside him. Despite the warmth radiating from the hearth, Gale shivered faintly, as if unable to chase away the icy feeling rooted deep within him. The evening had passed smoothly, even joyfully, but now, with everyone settled down, the weight in his chest returned. This was his first time meeting John’s family. His first Christmas with them. And yet, he couldn’t shake the nagging sense that this wasn’t where he belonged.

“You’re thinking about something bad,” John said suddenly, his gaze fixed on the flames. His voice was quiet but firm. “I can see it in your face.”

Gale frowned slightly, turning his head away. “It’s just… a lot,” he murmured, his voice trailing off. He couldn’t quite find the words to explain what was circling in his mind.

“A lot,” John echoed, pushing himself up and settling beside Gale on the couch. “You mean you feel out of place?”

Gale turned to him sharply, the pinpoint accuracy of John’s words leaving him breathless.

“Don’t think like that,” John added, his voice softer now, as though reading everything Gale hadn’t said aloud. “It’s not true.”

“And what if it is?” Gale finally allowed himself to voice the thought burning inside him all night. “I look at your sisters, your mom, all of you… you’re a family. A real one. I’m just here because you invited me. But you don’t get it, Bucky. This isn’t my world. I’m not like you.”

John held his gaze for a long moment, his expression calm but thoughtful. Finally, he sighed. “You think we’re all the same, don’t you?”

“Well, yes,” Gale replied with unexpected confidence. “You’re all open, cheerful, fearless, ready to take on anything. You’re all… alike.”

John chuckled, leaning back slightly as if trying to gauge whether Gale was serious. When he realized he was, the chuckle turned into a full laugh.

"So, you really think that I, my sisters, and my parents are five similar people with similar personalities?"

“Of course,” Gale said, though his tone wavered slightly now, sensing the trap in John’s words.

“Oh, Buck…” John grinned, shaking his head. “It’s hard to notice at first, but we’re all very different. One day, I’ll bring you over for dinner when my parents have had a few too many glasses of wine. You’ll hear about their own messy stories.”

“Oh, God.” Gale grimaced, the thought of John’s parents behaving anything less than perfect catching him off guard.

“My mom used to think my dad was a complete and total idiot,” John said with a smirk. “And my dad thought my mom was a stuck-up snob who’d swallowed a poker because she was so rigid and unyielding. They hated each other at first. Does that sound familiar?”

Gale huffed a small laugh, glancing at John. “Maybe. Just a little.”

“Out of all of us, I’m most like my dad. Eileen takes after my mom, and Francis?” John snorted. “Francis is the unholy mix of Mom’s stubbornness and Dad’s wildness. We’re all different, Buck. Completely different. It just looks like we’re similar because you’re new to all this. But trust me, big families are messy. They’re constant battles and endless compromises. And over time,” he added with a soft laugh, “you start picking up traits you never thought you’d want.”

Gale tilted his head, observing John quietly. “Is this your way of saying I’m about to inherit some of your bad habits?”

John smirked, his eyes glinting mischievously. “Maybe. But I think you’re already looking at me the way my mom looked at my dad at first—‘weird, kind of charming, but probably hopeless.’” He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a playful murmur. “And guess what? That hopeless guy gave her three kids and decades of a happy marriage.”

Gale froze as John’s arms slipped around him, pulling him close. The warmth of the embrace was overwhelming, the softness of the gesture unexpected. And then, when John’s lips found his in a kiss that was both tender and grounding, Gale felt the weight inside him begin to lift.

As their foreheads touched, Gale whispered against his lips, “Don’t count on that, Bucky.”

John threw his head back, laughing so wildly and joyfully that Gale couldn’t help but laugh too, the sound filling the quiet room and spilling into the snowy night beyond.

[xxs4d-b4st4rdxx]

I have no idea why, but I have a sudden urge to talk about what Dr. Alto Clef is with in my head. It's probably because of that post of resent.

I'm going to be up and front with that this is more of me just rambling than a well-thought-out. I do better if I ramble with no form or idea where it is going. Also, I don't care if you think in any way is a waste or stupid. This is my blog, and I and do and say what I want, even if it's mindless rambling about a character or whatever else. -----

Well, to be honest, He does have a special place within my mind. It's greatly personal, I Rather not talk about it much, mainly because I rather keep the bad times behind me. Just know he has helped me get though some hard times in my life, even though he's a god-damn asshole of a character, lol.

Um… how do I start these things… Well first I must be clear that I have been out of the fandom he belongs in for some years now and so, much of what I view him is when I was really into it. SCP-4231 is a big piece to how I see him. I read that when it first came out, though I probably shouldn't have read it at that time.

Ok, enough of the rambling. For me, I view him as a bitter old man that real does not want to have anything to do with anyone. Which I don't blame. I thought of him being three different people with Alto being the last and Francis being the first, though the middle of the both does not really have a name He's just dubbed with Ukulele. Francis's GOC code name. With Ukulele being switch of dealing the stress of work and well their personal life. While Alto being formed when the incident happen and being the main for Francis to heal. Which never fully happen, Francis never really came back and only few years after it simply left. While Ukulele kinda linger not much anymore either being the next to fade leaving Alto be the last one left abandoned and the feeling that he had failed in sense. More bitter than anything in his mind left with the mess Francis had left him. Hope that makes sense in a way.

Another thing with the shipping of him and Kondraki (surprised I still remember how to spell his name). I like it though, I see it more of that Kondraki to him is a person that hang with and fuck around with once in a while, nothing more than that. I just see Alto being mainly a loner for that when he feels the safest at. I also do like the idea that he has amassed a large family of cat, those are his people. Furthermore, I like to think he thinks of himself as a cat as a way to cope with what he is.

The why I think he looks is pretty much what it most views him as. A white short fat man that doesn't have the greatest look, blond hair three eye colors, you know the gist. I have added on to that over the years with having a bad tan, you know what I mean. Have some numbers of scars from his year of living. A thing I also like is that he flip-flop in having somewhat short hair to have it long enough to have it braided. To be honest, I don't think he gives a shit how he looks other that his abundance of Hawaiian shirts, he's very prideful with that. His third eye I like to imagine he can move it anywhere on his body or hide it all together, another thing to fuck with people. Oh, Yeah, a chain smoker, of course.

Even with him being a shit person, I think deep with in him, he still cares about well… Francis's kid. Alto himself doesn't consider them being his kid nor being ever married. Though still cares about them.

I might be the reason he never just says fuck it and leave, to disappear, to live a life quietly without the Foundation being up his ass all the time. Maybe there's a different reason, who knows, he will never say, maybe he doesn't know himself either.

Do really think he's an anomaly of his own kind, being that most reality bender or what ever you want to call them, usually supper nova or simply disappear. Yet he's still there, well, depending on what stories you read. He does do either which is odd, potentially it's because of the circumstance he was in when there was still Francis and how him and his partner were like how two stars act when they are close to one another. Where the larger of the two slowly eats the other. Possibly that had some cause for it other than well... The trauma that comes with such an abusive relationship.

-----

Beyond this point, it is me rambling more about my old interest of realty benders than Alto himself. I was really into the concept of reality bender back in the day.

-----

As a side not I do compare reality binder with stars because of their life, cycle are really remind me of stars. With the more large hotter one having quite fast and destructive ends while the smaller and slow burning one much quieter ends.

Though, I'm just going to generalize things for the sack of understanding what I'm saying. But You want to go more specific, you can learn and use the lettering system that is uses to categorize stars. For example, our star is a yellow Dwarf and the spectral type G and with that will evolve into red giants. In turn, a white dwarf to finally a black dwarf where it does not have any more materials to produce energy (light). If you know the life cycle of a reality bender, you can fit it in within those terms.

There's also how some I would think some would bend reality some much they would leave tears within the fabric of reality, maybe creating a sort of black hole like some stars that are dense enough can form when dying. With what I said about super novas being how that is their max, their own unmaking. I think of it after math becoming nebula like in how mushroom producing spores, the matter with the disrupted reality creates others like as we are made of star matter someone can have that distorted matter that might form them as a reality bender. As they are not made with the same matter as others, but the same as another's demise for filling the cycle once more. Though like Alto, not all will meet their own destruction, with some living after that mass or simply never going through it. Leaving them much more stable in some sense. Though that does not mean they can't just go back to being a risk, which leave me to the point of why they might just simply disappear as a way to avoid that fate. As they might make their own small packet with in the fabric of reality, maybe that's how universes are made if you want to think of it that why. For me in star term I think of Alto a white dwarf star as something that is stable but has no risk of being destructive though much weaker than it was once before. That really does not matter with dwarf stars they live a very long lives, as like Alto they don't simply leave they stay for a very long time out live other stars, other reality bender without much change. In my head, I think he knows this, but I don't he likes it any. I think sometime he wished he was one that lives a short life that fades very soon after it was created.

To not stop on a sad note with the concept of cluster of stars like galaxy because I've already said what where nebulas as that is left over star matter which can in turn to make new stars. With galaxies, I see it as some reality bender might want to form groups, in a sense as a hive mind of sorts. Whereas in before they find their own space outside by themselves, this with a group can establish new one that are which much larger. Where the core normally being a black hole, their equivalent being a tear in reality. Which others get drawn to going from there leaving within the tare uses it as their own space allowing others to join with most leave to original for to become as one and in turn as a hive mind. With this being the case, they will hide that opening as to prevent unwanted out. Maybe this could be a way naturally how rips are mended in a way. Galaxies don't pose a threat as they have no more interest with their own reality from once they came, but they might have interest in merging with others like them.

I hope my word salad gave you some enjoyment. I really just did this for myself as a way to finally clean out what was left for my SCP days.

Thank you, for listening to my TedTalk, lol.

[greeen-bean]

Day One:

First annotation I made was "AHHHH LETS FUKING GOOOO"... So

I always loved how they (Francis specifically) addresses the aftermath of the fire from solitaire because that was basically all I was thinking about, peoples work still being in there, having to change schools, etc, etc

Also love that it starts with Carys - She haunts the narrative so well <3<3<3

This book is sooooooo 2016 and I cant figure out if that a good or bad thing - its a time capsule

I cannot wait for Francis' world to crumble around her ahhhhhh she's so mentally ill bbg its okayyyy

I am going to come out and speak my truth! I do not know how to pronounce Francis' last name. When I first read the book the dyslexia kicked in and I read it as "Janiver" (Jan-i-ver) and when I finally realised I was wrong it had stuck

Under the "I felt fine because I was born for this" I wrote "Frowen?" and stand by it

I drew a heart around Daniels name the first time it was mentioned, just encase there was any confusion on who my favourite character is

LOVE Francis' mum!!! like the old people in IWBFT I love the parent mentions in this

Francis mentions people thinking she's Spanish for being mixed race and doing Spanish GCSE and I wrote "Bilingual/Bisexual queen" but I did/do not know how to spell bilingual so I wrote "Bilingwil" and again, I stand by it

Aled and Francis are SOULMATES your honour - the way she talks about the narrator having a soft voice that got her hooked on the show GOD they're in loovvvveeee

Francis is out to get Daniel!! Grabbing him, someone who is actively not her friend, so hard it hurts to then tease them with interesting information about you that seeming they would not care less about only to not even tell them when they ask, diabolical!! I love them

I am dan, dan is me (bar all the smart people shit) like he lives in my head and says my thought

ALEDDDDDDDD - I love love love how Aled in introduced in this book like ahhhh it sets him up so perfectly to then show who he really is (More on this in a different post)

the idea that everyone who knows Daniel knows of Aled because they are "inseparable" drives me crazy (in a good way) because it kinda probably unintentionally shows the differences of how they view their relationship (more in a separate post)

Francis: And you said yes [to saying the speech]? Aled: Yes F: Why? D: Because he's a turnip A: Yes ONE OF MY FAVE LINES YGIUIOKJBHVGCTDR^TUHJH

The seeds of Aled having to do things from some unknown pressure - its COOKING

Francis' mums switch up from being worried to telling Francis to do the universe city thing after finding out she wasn't going to do it, BAMF BEHAVIOUR

"I always wished I had a hobby" Girl what was that whole last chapter about then????

Have soooo many thoughts about Francis putting all her worth into her academic success specifically as someone who was not good at school, but again, separate post

the seeds of Francis becoming self aware whooooo

Oh the autism of it all (about being worried of being exceled socially from people you don't even like -but really all of it)

Francis says the gayest shit - just wait till she's talking about Carys

Loooovvveeeeeee Raine actually so much

AHHHHhh the perseption Francis has on Aled and Daniels relationship it !!!!! im !!!!!!! INSANE COO COO CRAZY INSANE

Did Francis know she was bi when she met Carys? Cuz if she didn't...babe i have news for you

"The sun silhouetted her like she was a heavenly apparition" Uhu.....uhu....sure

Okay right! Carys' vice it described (again, its very gay to take this much note of a persons voice, Francis) as "posh London Made in Chelsea accents" so then WHY does Aled have a Welsh accent in the Nick and Charlie audiobook?!?!!? WHERE DID IT COME FROM!??!?!?! (I know he's Welsh but he grew up in fucking Kent stfu)

Computer with a sad face mention whoooooo

Aled is soooooo messy for how he acts around Francis - not to victim blame but DUDE what were you expecting to happen

Dan being like "oh... Francis... I didn't know you were here..." after making eye contact with her is CRAZy - Francis is right what is his damage

Daniel/Francis beef will ALWAYS be famous to me

Again, Aled, I do fear this is actually all your fault

[fear-not-beloved]

First Sunday of Advent, speaks to us about cosmic upheavals and anxiety and fear in humanity. In this context, Jesus addresses a word of hope to His disciples: “Stand erect and raise your heads because your redemption is at hand” (v. 28). The Master's concern is that their hearts do not grow drowsy (cf. v. 34) and that they await the coming of the Son of Man with vigilance. Jesus’ invitation is this: raise your head high and keep your hearts light and awake. Indeed, many of Jesus’ contemporaries, faced with the catastrophic events they saw happening around them – persecutions, conflicts, natural disasters – are gripped by anxiety and think that the end of the world is coming. Their hearts are weighed down with fear. Jesus, however, wants to free them from present anxieties and false convictions, showing them how to stay awake in their hearts, how to read events from the plan of God, who works salvation even within the most dramatic events of history. That is why He suggests that they turn their gaze to Heaven to understand the things of earth: “Stand erect and raise your heads” (v. 28). It is beautiful… “Stand erect and raise your heads”. Brothers and sisters, for us too Jesus’ recommendation is important: “Beware that your hearts do not become drowsy” (v. 34). All of us, in many moments of life, ask ourselves: what can I do to have a light heart, a wakeful heart, a free heart? A heart that does not let itself be crushed by sadness? And sadness is awful, it is awful. Indeed, it can happen that the anxiety, fears and worries about our personal lives or about what is happening in the world today weigh down on us like boulders and throw us into discouragement. If worries weigh down our hearts and induce us to close in on ourselves, Jesus, on the contrary, invites us to lift up our heads, to trust in His love that wants to save us and that draws close to us in every situation of our existence, He asks us to make room for Him in order to find hope again. And so, let us ask ourselves: is my heart weighed down by fear, worries and anxieties about the future? Do I know how to look at daily events and the vicissitudes of history with God’s eyes, in prayer, with a broader horizon? Or do I let myself be overcome by despondency? May this Advent season be a precious opportunity to lift our gaze to Him, who lightens our hearts and sustains us on our way. Let us now invoke the Virgin Mary, who even in times of trial was ready to accept God’s plan.

POPE FRANCIS, ANGELUS. Saint Peter's Square. Sunday, 1 December 2024

[quidfree]

I read your TSH X The Graduate fic and was struck by a line in which Francis calls Richard "plausible". There is a similar moment in Succession where Tom Wambsgans is described in the same quietly (for the show anyways) bitchy way. So... does this mean that Francis is distantly related to Lady Caroline Collingwood? Is there a world where Francis and Richard watch the Roy family drama play out from their TV in Montreal and Francis makes sporadic, vague references to Roman's childhood "latency" and the ginger promiscuity gene that he and Shiv share, without ever fully elaborating?? Please say yes.

plausible! anon the way this concept has had a hold of me since i saw it… words cannot describe. like! caroline “your father used to sleep with all the men in sausalito” collingwood running in francis’ circles is so real and true.

even if it’s not direct family... the roys are scottish catholics after all….. perfect tie-in to the red-head boston catholic abernathy clan…. it all just connects. ewan roy is kind of my mental image of abernathy senior anyways can’t you see a bit of the old-age francis in james cromwell’s cunty austerity?

anyways back on track francis and richard are what, late 60s babies if they were 20 in the 80s? and caroline is probably early 1950s if you go by the actress. so kid wise connor is probably roughly around their age??? oh my god. but francis would have only met the roys when caroline and logan were married so he would have been in his late teens looking with absolute disdain upon the roy kid trio. idk who he would dislike most. probably ken for being so *gestures at ken*, otherwise roman. he might have tolerated shiv more because he gives more grace to the girlies (see: camilla). and he probably only met connor sometime later since he didn't see the family for some time after his mother got taken away- i can only imagine the horrors of them interacting.

good lord imagine priscilla abernathy and caroline in the same room. the insane vibes. but at least that side is all old money condescension and they would bond over their distaste for the new money roys. what the roys would think of the abernathys? probably very little as adults. world famous homophobe logan roy would not have taken to francis, who is maybe the truest definition of 'not a serious person'. i have to think about what the kids would have thought about him. suggestions welcomed.

as for middle-aged francis and richard in montreal watching the shitshow that is canonical succession timeline playing out live in the news? *gesticulating incoherently* someone prompt me to write this.

i could go on for days this is too perfect of a concept. anon please supply more thoughts of your own. and if i kept going in the tags no i didn't.

[wexhappyxfew]

when all else fails

(a/n): here it is! a Silver Bullets ensemble piece featuring all of the lovely ladies that man the B-17 Silver Bullets that is mentioned so very often. let's just say....adjusting to a new pilot after losing one that did so much in terms of care - is hard. but having each other, makes it a bit easier. (featuring also: frank, the orange cat that meatball chases when warranted).

"How many times has he mentioned that the God-forsaken cat loves him?" muttered Paulina as she came and settled herself into the chair besides Carrie, shaking her head and lacing her fingers together like an elaborate pie crust.

"Dougie'll probably keep saying it," Carrie offered and then nodded at Marianne, who was sat in her own chair, working her way through another beer, "Frank doing okay?" Marianne shrugged and glanced at the orange cat, curled up at her feet, licking at his paw, eyes half-opened as he lounged on the wooden ground of the flying club.

"Looks like he's as fine as he'll ever be," Marianne said, "Dougie snuck him a thing of cheese earlier, so….let's just say, he's content." Carrie snickered as Paulina glanced down at the little ball of orange.

"Remind me how you're going to get him home again? Strapping him up in Silver Bullets, his own mask to fit his whiskers, a parachute made out of napkins?" Paulina offered and Marianne chuckled.

"I'll just ask Benny, he got Meatball over here, I'll be damned if I can strangle Frank into a harness, but it'll happen," Marianne said, "plus, he's a big sky enthusiastic." Carrie raised a brow. Paulina blinked.

"Come again?" murmured Carrie.

"He climbs up the trees, ya know? Entertains the kids. Jumps outta them, too. Crazy son-of-a-gun. There's a reason he's got nine lives, well…probably five now." Marianne said with a sigh, like an exasperated mother, "I blame Meatball."

"Why are we blaming Meatball?" a new voice said, entering the picture, the bright-eyed silhouette of Margie Harlowe coming up to them, Kennedy Farley in tow - like sunshine and gray skies clashing together in the middle of summer, but somehow making it work.

"He chases Frank around," muttered Marianne, "therefore, Frank has it out for him. Don't think Benny would agree but." Kennedy glanced downwards.

"A real wild-eyed killer there, Mar." Kennedy murmured and Marianne grumbled.

"He's just a softie on the outside that's all," Marianne said and Carrie chuckled.

"I can promise you, if I wave a thing of cheese in front of him, he's done for, there's no fighting with Meatball," Carrie said, patting Marianne on the shoulder and she all but sighed.

"It's alright, Frank, I'd be the same way," Paulina called down to Frank - who sat wildly unbothered, "swear to ya, you could wake me from a dead-sleep."

"Any of you meet the new pilot?" Margie asked, sweeping her eyes through the current group of four staring her in the face, "Alright, what's with the blank looks?"

"Don't think we're the ones you should be asking," Carrie said quietly, "you think Francis is gonna lose it? We know what happened when Harding tried with the other pilot…..Francis couldn't stand her."

"That's because that Captain Atchinson was nothing but a stuck up twit with a stick up her ass," Kennedy offered, "told me three times about how to load my goddamn .50 cal - last time I ever went up with her telling me what to do. I know how to load a gun, sweetheart."

"Bunch of bullshit, too," Paulina said, "you know she told me I had to at least eat proper in front of the guys. Does she not realize most of these guys saw me on my death bed when we arrived in Greenland? Puking my guts up as I pathetically begged for Major Cleven to take me to the grave. That was the least of my worries-"

"Well, our new pilot is not Captain Atchinson - she's actually really sweet, level-headed, can hold her own." Margie said butting in, "You all oughta introduce yourselves, stop hiding."

"Gotta name?" Marianne asked, a bit more hopeful than the others.

"Annie Bradshaw." Margie said, a hint of a smile on her lips, "She was in Fort Des Moines, but she's been a pilot for a bit. I got Benny to spill about her to me a bit. Supposedly she was going to fly AT-6s before coming here, so I guess we can consider ourselves lucky." Someone coughed.

"We'd be lucky if Birdie was still here." Carrie murmured quietly and a collective silence came over the group.

"Alright, what's with the sour faces?" Bessie, beloved navigator of Silver Bullets, said coming with a fresh drink - beer in the bottle - and Vivian and Judy in tow, the three new sets of eyes wandering about the current display of grief that seemed to wash in like waves.

"Don't tell me," Vivian said, arm linked through Judy's, eyes narrowed, "Major Egan made another one of his bad jokes and Pauli ain't having it."

"It ain't that, Viv, but feels close enough to be just like it," Paulina mumbled from her seat and shrugged, before leaning her head on her hand, "meet the new pilot?" The group glanced towards the trio and found somewhat blank looks on all their faces as well.

"Saw her." Judy offered, a bit more enthusiastically than the others, "She's a pretty thing. Didn't say anything though. It was from afar; I was trying to keep Dougie company, poor guy got turned down. I offered him an emotionally-filled pat on the shoulder."

"You really are the sweetest out of us all," Margie said with a smile towards Judy - who grinned like she always did - one that still looked youthful and full of a life now past.

"Was he trying for Helen again?" Carrie asked, her voice a bit more stiff than it had been previously and Bessie shrugged.

"A pretty poor attempt, I'll give him that," Bessie offered, in that comforting voice of hers that never seemed to let anyone down even in the worst of times.

"That or he's going on about the damn cat." Paulina groaned, receiving a shove from Marianne, "Sorry, sorry-" she glanced down at Frank, "sorry Frank, we love ya, I promise."

"So," Bessie started, glancing around the group, "anyone else willing to make the first move or should I bite the bullet. Again, might I add."

"I'll come with you," Judy offered, "she seems real sweet, I tell ya." Bessie smiled and glanced towards the group. Silence.

"Listen, listen, I'll come," Kennedy offered, "nothing a little New England charm can't do."

"New England charm?" Paulina crooned.

"Very experimentalist of you." Carrie said with a smirk and Kennedy rolled her eyes.

"I don't see anyone else jumping to their feet," Kennedy said, placing her hands on her hips with a raised brow, "imagine that was you! Comin' in here and your first introduction is Major Egan - Jesus Christ he probably scared her off-"

"I don't have to imagine," Paulina said with a sour look on her face, "if Birdie were here, we wouldn't be having to start this all over again."

"Yeah, well, Birdie ain't here, Pauli." Kennedy said. It was tough love. A tough realization that was a hard pill to swallow and something no one wanted to have to face.

None of them had really been flying since - Francis had done a practice run with Benny, but had come puking out of the plane and that had been that. Sometimes on walks around base, there was a presence about Silver Bullets that was almost sickening. It was like trying to face a fear none of them wanted to actually have to face. Getting in Silver Bullets without Birdie there. Because how much could you trust the next person to look out for the group and do much, if not the same or more?

"Well, what a surprise," Francis Montez said, swaggering over, a tired look on her face, an even more exasperated smile growing on her lips, "go on, what's happened now. Who are we bettin' on now?"

"No one, Lieutenant, except maybe the new pilot," Judy offered with a shake of her head, "you meet her yet?" Francis' face fell flat and she glanced around the group and shrugged.

"Ran into her, was on the move, didn't have much to say yet," Francis said, her words awkward and spaced uncomfortably. A few of the women exchanged side-eye glances or random coughs or sniffs.

Everyone knew Francis was struggling the most with it all - losing Birdie like they did. Just like that. Having her stuff back at the base, having to send it home to her folks, having to write out the letters and mail it out. Having to even think or say anything regarding it all. No one wanted to express any emotion towards a new pilot, or try to replace Birdie in anyway - it's why this whole new pilot shindig hurt just a little more than they all thought. They knew Birdie would never be replaced, but sometimes it felt like it was replacing her. Francis had been the one to see it and live it. She felt it the most it seemed - and showed it.

"You doing okay, Lieutenant?" Marianne asked quietly, a few worried glances going towards Silver Bullets' copilot - the drawn in expression on her face that fought with whatever inner emotions she was feeling more and more, the dark circles under her eyes, her gaunt cheeks. Francis Montez seemed to take on the weight of the world and let it stay on her shoulders for as long as she could handle; she hadn't fallen down yet.

"Fine," Francis said and then settled onto the open chair beside Carrie, "so, who's gonna make the first move? Or well, let me rephrase, who should be the one to make the first move?"

"I vote Margie." Paulina said, with a raised hand as she sipped her beer, "Margie or Vivian, someone who walks around like it's always sunny outside or something, ya know?"

"Flattering, Pauli, truly," Margie said, and Vivian offered a graceful smile with a nod.

"I appreciate the sentiment, Pauli, you really do butter me up," Vivian said, "but I think this is a Margie Harlowe situation at its finest." Margie grinned and crossed her arms and glanced around.

"You guys shouldn't have."

"Take the compliment, Margie," murmured Carrie. Margie smirked.

"She here?" Margie asked out loud.

"Supposedly Brady invited her."

"She blonde?"

"Blonde, more dirty-blonde, but nice dirty-blonde, shorter-side."

"That her?"

Everyone followed Carrie's finger and line of sight and found the new pilot, Lieutenant Annie Bradshaw, moving towards the bar, leaning up against it smoothly and ordering a drink and then looking around, her movements fluid, calculated and purposeful, her presence not entirely overwhelming and the look on her face a mix - calm, cool, collected about herself. Someone you probably didn't want to mess with unless you had it coming.

"Yep, that's her," Judy said, "Margie you should go for it." Margie turned to the group, took a gracious bow, cracked her knuckles like some professional sports star and then turned away.

"Watch and learn, ladies," Margie said and then plowed forward.

"There she goes," Kennedy said with a chuckle, "our Margie, whodda thought huh?"

"Whodda thought what?"

"Volunteering herself like that," Kennedy offered, "going into the line of fire. She's better than me."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Francis said, "Whatcha trying to say?" Kennedy glanced over her shoulder just as Margie stuck out her hand to shake and then glanced back at the group of women and Frank, who now was cuddled in Judy's arms.

"Harding's been trying to get a pilot in for days after Atchinson was booted. Supposedly, he didn't let anyone even meet us until he was sure, especially after what happened before." Kennedy said, "Egan let me in on it, Mr. Chatterbox. Anyway, it seems legit. The entire thing. And she made it through all their levels of inspection, interviews, questioning, all of it. She's good." The group seemed to gravitate to looking towards Francis, attempting to judge her facial expressions before coming to a consensus.

"Francis?" Bessie offered. Francis was quiet for a moment, then leaned forward and took the beer bottle in her hand.

"I won't say anything until she's up there flying Silver Bullets."

[reclusivedouche]

Riverdale Thoughts: 3x06

PEEP SHOW! Please, I am the Barchiest of stans so like yes to all of it. Anyway, thoughts.

Jughead is not interesting to me rn if he's not with Veronica and since that's currently over... (Also like I better see him kiss Ethel properly at least ONCE omg before Tabitha comes back ofc bc Tabitha)

What I wouldn't give to have a window's view into Archie Andrew's bedroom wow

50's Archie is honestly the best Archie, it's so good

Betty and Veronica should kiss again in the 50's as a treat.

Also, Archie and Jughead have to kiss before the show ends to complete the circle or else!!!

Surprise Evelyn Evernever is really out here saying things like "lezzie" honestly Toni should punch her.

Can you dig it?

Cheryl's face of both gay excitement and gay fear when Toni asked if she could show her some appreciation.

It lives in my head rent free forever now

I did absolutely rewind mid episode to watch that part again bc idk it was giving everything.

50's Toni is so hot

Is Fangs Elvis yet?

There is no difference between Cheryl, Evelyn, and Midge and Regina, Gretchen, and Karen. Don't @ me

I love new Midge tbqh

I'm tired of Julian, he was only fun for like one episode lmao

Someone should top him so he can cum to jesus

Veronica is really that bitch and I am here for it like yes absolutely allow me in your room to peep on the hot carrot top next door

I need to see Veronica and Jughead hook up properly once PLEASE

Dan and Blair got to (IN AN ELEVATOR)

I am not sure what order I'm remembering all of this in

Betty not feeling the lingerie at first is me anytime I buy something different from what I usually where so it just sits in my closet for eternity

Toni and Betty should kiss also

I'm gonna need Archie and farmboy Reggie to also kiss at some point as they are actually boyfriends

Anyway, the cringe dialogue about maybe ending up in our rooms at the same time was incredible

Archie saying he's excited is too adorable

Still thinking about how he snatched Betty's teddy bear to cover his boner when she felt up his thigh

Incredible really

Oh and also, why is Frank? I'm so over him completely. He sucks. Just let Mary do all of the parenting. More Molly!

Frank was at least hot with the like beard this mustache is not it

The gifsets of Archie and Betty undressing for each other in the window are my everything rn

As are the ones of Cheryl and Toni kissing!!!!!!

Does this mean the episode where they are going to bone is coming soon?

Please say yes

Back to the window stripping - what are Frank and Hal doing that they both barged into those rooms at the same time

I'm telling you the white men in this season are up to some shit. Principal Warden Norton, Francis Dupont Werthers, MAYOR Clifford Blossom, Basketball Coach Uncle Frank, HAL

God for some reason Hal

A terrible actor

TBK should've been Hal or his twin bc he is also a blossom so like why do the coopers not have twins Hal??

It was so disappointing but whatever I digress

Even tho I hate Hal

Also save Ethel?? We just threw her back to the sisters and? We've moved onto comics from the murders.

BRING BACK MY GIRL

Give her a proper full season storyline for once ffs

You give Kevin things and he's not even remotely interesting at all

Loved and episode with no Kevin tbqh

Anyway, the ending with Archie and Betty getting caught is in my top like 3 endings rn

One is the very precious moment where Archie ASKED if he could kiss Josie (it was adorable they are my crackOTP okay)

I think I've stopped thinking about this episode and instead am thinking about the whole show

We must stop before I never stop

I hope Archie and Betty kiss soon also

[leojurand]

house of niccolò reread rambling thoughts: niccolò rising edition (part 1)

roughly 25% into my NR i'm having the time of my life and also have more thoughts than i anticipated! so post it is.

niccolò rising was, on first read, one of my least favourite dunnett novels. which isn't anything bad at all since i love all her books, it was just not on the same level of insanity as most others. probably bottom 5

also i've always thought this was a fun book, but coming here right after checkmate makes it especially fun lol

so here's the ramble!

starting with nicholas, in his claes era! and god, he's perfect (but ofc i say that, he's my favourite protagonist ever). i found him fascinating on first read, but reading this again after seeing nicholas's growth, after seeing him as a father and husband in gemini... it really shows what an incredible character he is! i've tweeted about this before, and i think some fans didn't agree, but when i read lymond i had this feeling that the person that is francis crawford already existed before the events of the series, and throughout it i slowly unraveled the truth of who that is, as lymond allows us to see, or is forced to show, his true self. but with nicholas there is a sense of becoming. there was no nicholas de fleury before the series, we see him transform into that version of himself. when it comes to nicholas there's a lot of discussion of identity; the idea that he had none, and every aspect of himself was an act, a role he was playing to achieve his goals. and only towards the end he becomes who he truly is.

there are some moments on this reread already that made me feel nicholas was learning, or becoming as i said, like this exchange with tobie:

“You haven’t the choice,” said Tobie. “No one has.” The other was silent. It was a deliberate silence. Tobie pressed him. “You’d never thought of that?” said Tobie. “I think of people dependent on me,” said Claes. The cellar was cold, but he sat quite still, his crossed arms tight round his body. “But no one needs to shoulder my burdens.” “Not even the people who are dependent on you?” said Tobie. That disturbed the boy a little. He said, “You and Meester Julius are not.”

you can almost see the wheels turning in his head, whether because he's learning something new or he's trying to find the right combination of words that will make tobie do what nicholas wants him to do, i don't know! but it's a very interesting conversation.

i could talk about nicholas for hours, both analysing every gesture or straight up gushing, but i'll move on

next is julius, a polarising? maybe straight up unpopular? character. i'm a big fan tbh. i've always thought he's wildly entertaining, the funniest character even, if not super complex. but the reveal at the end of the series does give me a lot more to chew on in this reread wrt his character, so i'm glad!! i really don't know who julius truly is, which is crazy because he seems so simple on the surface? does he care about nicholas at all? he's pretty protective of claes, at first. but how much of it is genuine, if anything? i also really like his dynamic with tobie, they both pay attention to the other like they're wary, maybe. but anyway, i'll pay special attention to julius this time. what a fun, evil little guy lol

katelina!! i've joked about her being the only brown-haired dunnett female character who is a mess. i'm noticing a lot of subtlety with her this time. for example, i think she's funny that she calls julius, claes, and felix "children" in the first chapter, when she's only 19. but she's been traveling with older people, and living 3 years by herself on scotland probably makes her feel more grown and mature than these bruges boys. in her first pov chapter she compares edinburgh and bruges, and in those descriptions you can really tell she missed her hometown. she thinks she wishes she were a widow, to have freedom and independence. and in her bluntness and mockery of simon i saw something of gelis, too. though gelis's tongue is sharper, and she has a madness katelina lacks, as nicholas thinks later on. i think i'm going to connect more with her on this reread... which will make her fate even more sad.

now some more random thoughts:

nicholas's blank expression, and the way he keeps his distance when they meet esota, hits really hard knowing what she did to him. god. and the fact he didn't even want to punish her makes me so sad

the way nicholas and umar become friends so quickly, speaking in sign language and bits of whatever language they share, is so sweet 😭 big boys who are mistreated and much more intelligent than anyone gives them credit for!!

mentioned this on twitter too, but kathi being one of the children nicholas plays with and who adores him is the cutest thing ever

i can't help but hate marian a little. every time there's a mention of nicholas arriving at her home at 10, being brought up with her children, and knowing what happened to him as a child... i just hate that she turned their relationship sexual, i don't care if she was grieving

claes crying after his duel with simon was heartbreaking, knowing that he's not crying because he almost died or because he's in pain, but because he just wanted to be recognized by his father. and to him that duel and simon's pure dislike of him probably meant that it would never happen :( my baby

that's it for now!! but i'll be back. i'm so happy to be back in this world with these characters :') n. 1 series!!

[artmotherhoodandmadness]

Losing my 5 precious darling embryos, don;t tell me that they are not children, the embryo is the seed from which the might Oak Tree thus grows, suck on that you ignorant callous cunts

The unimaginable pain of losing 5 embryos and don’t tell me they are not children they are the seeds from which all life grows

It’s too painful

I cannot do this

Fuck off I say

Oh the pain I feel when I see little girls

Well I have a sperm donor now Nathan, tall, buff, slim, big long slender dick, beautiful hands, plays bass, teaches French blue grey eyes, cool hair, good family

Am I in love, don’t care he came in me an hour ago

I am 49 well miracles do happen, not to me, but maybe

Keep trying until I drop down dead hey

I can’t take it

The pain

The loss

The sheer humiliation

It’s excruciating

I don’t want to live anymore

I want my girls

Well I got my donor egg, she is Polish, intelligent as fuck, with a nice ass and legs and blond hair and blue eyes and a degree in Bio Chemistry at Oxford

Uber menschen in the making

I will have my Cyan Tree

Scarlet River

Storm Cloud

Hurricane

Golden Tsunami Thread

Purple paradise glitter heaven

Yes my little ones are in heaven with their grand father Rafique

And I will make three babies one Afro, one red head and one blond

And my life will be complete

Sans mes enfants ma vie est rien

Je suis dans le mer sans mes enfants

Ma vie est rien sans leur

Mes mes enfants

Oh my god

The pain pierces me over and over again like a dagger on fire

I cannot take it

Men rape me and break me and ejaculate in me like a fucking rag doll

I am just a hope to be penetrated and abused over and over again

My daddy taught me how to suck cock real good

Donobad

Tomi balo manush

Go fuck yourself you piece of shit cunt

And my husband is a narc, predator psychopath

And my kids little cunt runts who should be burnt and tortured

They play guitar and piano and speak mandarin and do so many extra curricula activities

If I meet another doting dad I am gonna fuckng puck my guts out

69 men and risking

Sexually abused from the age of 1-3

66 albums

16 films

100 exhibitions

11 books

Suck on that

Got into Oxford to study History at Somerville College or St? Hilda’s

Can’t remember

Does it even fucking matter

Tracey Emin can’t draw for shit

Nor Damien Hirst

I am better than everyone Francis Bacon, Vincent, Rothko, Schiele, Kandisky

De Kooning, Richter, Schiel, Klimt

Nietszche what the fuck did he know he never had kids

Kate Moss is a travesty

Worst fucking model

Kendal Jenner insipid

Justin Bieber pathetic

Billy whinging miserable cow

Taylor Swift knows nothing about life

Kate Moss’s sprog is ugly and short as fuck

Harry Styles is a fucking prick

I am better than all of you

I am gonna win the Nobel Peace Prize

Gonna be a global leader

I believe that everyone should get 30 grand from birth

Have their own house and garden

Preferably built themselves

Lego towns

No plastic

Recycling

Electric cars

Not teslas

Elon Musk is another psychopath power crazed mania

Who can’t keep his dick in his pants like Mick fucking Jagger

His kids are losers

Eddie Redmayne can’t act for fuck and married a bitch

Kate Middleton just is good at breeding and wearing clothes and has no hips and never eats

And her kids are brats

Harry is a prick

Megan is a bitch

Piers Morgan is a moon faced cunt

Alistair Campbell wrote the fake dossier and is a murderer

He should be curt alive playing his wretched bag pipes

Shada Haramsada

Guido is an Italian prick

Robin is a psychopathic narc

Yinka is a shit artist USP up your fucking arse

Kusama sold out

Can’t paint for shit

Her mirrored rooms flawed

I am going to Bangladesh, and Singapore

Erecting my neon mental health signs

Mental Health for All

Benign Anarchists

Trauma Triggers

Naked Trauma Triggers

Tommy

Nathan

Nicolas Rodolphe Roberts Colemonts

Robin

Adam

David

Rowan

Kash

Patrick my first love, he was deaf, we listened to Fluffy Little Clouds and made love and got high and felt the beat through the speakers

I was happy then

I was happiest when I was a virgin

Didn’t wash

Wore clothes that were too big for me

Wanted to be clever

Was sexually abused in the library when studying Hamlet and preparing for Oxford

Art school was shit

Has to walk past St Martins every day it was hell

Will study at the Royal academy – Drawing, will make Tracey stick her pencil up her arse

If Saatchi and Saatchi come sniffing they can go fuck themselves

Margaret Thatcher eat my turds for breakfast with Kellogg corn flakes

I want my babies

I will have my daughters

They will have the life I never had

And I will protect them

And no one is goin got mess with them

No one is going to fuck with my precious cargo

This is a war

This is a revolution

Whose side are you on?

Are you are a benign anarchist

Join the fucking party now

Have a wank and die

Suck on that

You giant sloppy cunt face poisson magasin

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Guffaw guffaw

Swipe

Chouette

C’est finis

Bonne nuit

Mais non

Mai oui

En faite

Donc

Donc

Donc

Ding dong

Putki

Picana coup gorom

Peshup

Putki

Nu Nu

The END