#and 2. I am less and less concerned about passing for make these days

[chronicbitchsyndrome]

so... i'm seeing a lot of activism (like, actual activism, not just tumblr posts--letters & scripts to us senators, for example, copy written for press, etc) focusing on improving ventilation & filtration as primarily an access issue for immunocompromised people. basically, presenting the argument as "this is in service of this demographic, who is blocked from public access currently."

this is like. true. of course. it is the main reason i want clean air and i think it is the most pressing reason overall for it. but i think it's the wrong tack for building a clean air movement and getting legislation passed.

like, unfortunately, the vast majority of people in power--and of americans in general, tbh--are not immunocompromised and do not have immunocompromised roommates or family members. should you have to have this experience to understand that public access is a big fucking deal for, like, staying alive? no! you shouldn't! but most people straight up will not understand whatsoever unless they have personal experience with immune compromisation.

trying to change hearts and minds to have cognitive sympathy for disabled people takes a long time, decades' worth of work to just change a handful of people; meanwhile, getting legislation passed is 1) imminently important, 2) while still a lengthy process, takes significantly less time if it doesn't hinge on first converting the majority of the population to have sympathy for a marginalized demographic they have no contact with (and yes, they have no contact with us because we are barred from public access to begin with, again, i am aware of how fucked up this is).

here's some arguments for passing clean air legislation that are designed to appeal to a normative, conservative-leaning crowd:

air filtration is a public health and sanitation baseline just like running water. we provide clean water to drink and wash our hands in as a baseline for public life; we should also be providing clean air to breathe similarly.

improved ventilation and filtration in schools results in less sick days for students, meaning better attendance and less time off work for parents.

improved ventilation and filtration in the workplace results in workers taking less sick days. it also makes it less troublesome when a coworker comes in sick; it's less likely you will have to take sick leave as a result.

improved ventilation and filtration in hospitals, doctors' offices, etc, helps combat the health care worker shortage by reducing the amount of sick leave health care workers need. it additionally makes hospitals safer overall; for example, it makes it safer for cancer patients to be in the same building with patients with highly infectious airborne illnesses such as chickenpox.

improved ventilation and filtration in public buildings at large could improve the economy, as less workers stay home, more people enter the workforce, more people begin attending public businesses like bars and venues, etc.

if government programs to upgrade ventilation and filtration are created, this could create jobs for blue-collar workers, further improving the economy.

the last note i have is that, as much as this sucks shit, don't mention covid as much as you can avoid it. covid has become a massive culture war thing in the usa and as soon as you bring it up, the entire discussion becomes about virtue-signaling and showing in-group affinity--it doesn't matter what you're saying about covid, anyone who thinks "covid is over" will immediately shut down and become incapable of listening to anything else you have to say. and unfortunately, a majority of the population does, in fact, think covid is an irrelevant concern even for immunocompromised people in 2024.

importantly, all general air sanitation improvements will improve the covid situation significantly. in this context, you do not have to talk about covid in order to make real, material changes limiting the spread of covid. system-level changes that limit the spread of things like the flu and chickenpox are equally effective in limiting the spread of covid. take advantage of that!

[notdotspot]

Dp x Dc Stinky

Part. 1 Part. 2 Part. 3 Part. 4

Breakfast is never a quiet affair in the Wayne manor and Jason in his normal lateness expects everyone to be waiting for him to start. He takes his seat at the table and feels the emptiness next to him.

“Where’s Tim?”

“Sleeping,” Damian replies quickly. 

“Tim? Sleeping? Since when? He barely sleeps to start with much less sleeping in.” At Jason’s comment, the table seems to quiet, realizing just how odd it is. 

Steph speaks first, “I hate to admit it but Jason is right.”

“Hey!” He protests as she giggles into her hands.

Bruce jumps in before his children have the chance to turn the dining table into a warzone, “He has been having nightmares.” The group’s attention turns to him, so he continues, “Damian noticed he had not slept in days. By the time I approached him, he was delirious. I do not even know how he went on patrol like that.”

“B, it is not your fault. I can see you blaming yourself from here. You have to remember Tim was on his own for a long time. His parents did not care like you do and he is good at hiding his weaknesses,” Dick chimes in. The mood in the room is weighed with worry. 

“He will be fine. I told Titus to keep him in bed as long as possible. He will be better.” Luckily, everyone was distracted by Damian’s rare display of emotion, allowing them to shed some of their worry for their brother.

“Welp,” Jason stands, “Lovely family meal as always. Thank you, Alfred. See you later, losers. Places to be, people to see.” He then quickly made his way to the Batcave. Dressing quickly and grabbing his motorcycle. Crime Alley does not wait for him. Though Jason would be lying to himself if his only concern was fighting crime. 

Ever since he passed through that weird area in the Bat Burger two days ago, he has not seen a glimpse of the Pit Madness. Not even when he ran into a few Joker goons. An encounter like that would have meant lethal force, flashbacks, and a subsequent panic attack right there on the street, but it never came. He was in civilian clothes and did not even flinch to pull a phantom gun from its holster. He paused like any other person native to Gotham and was left scouring his brain for any clue about the miraculous cure he accidentally came across. 

It was not until he felt it again the previous night on a rooftop that he realized the affected air had an eerie green glow. So today, his mission is to find the source. 

Unfortunately for Jason though, other people do not care if he has something to do today. Now Jason is chasing some type of creature along the streets. 

“Why is this thing so fucking quick?” He yells into his helmet. He turns the corner to the alley it had disappeared down. Jason is forced to turn and brake quickly before he runs directly into the wall of the dead end. His gaze shoots up and the thing is waving at him. By the time he makes his way up the fire escape, it is gone. 

“Fast little shit,” he whispers under his breath. 

His earpiece cracks to life and he hears, “Need any help, Hood?”

“Are you not supposed to be having your little nap, Red? Where is Oracle?”

“Shut up! I slept enough. It is not like Dami or B will let me out on patrol anytime soon, and unlike you, Oracle has a day job. She is a functional member of society.” 

“I am dead to society. I am sorry I can not go work in a corner office at Wayne Enterprises.”

“Do you want help or not, asshole?”

“Yeah, sure. There is some creature racing around Crime Alley. Black tail, white hair, and Lazurus green eyes. I am sure Ras made it.”

“Green eyes?” Tim whispers. “I will come meet you.”

“No. No, you will not. You are on house arrest.” 

“In civilian clothes. I can ride on the bike with you. I need to see this thing.”

“No Red Robin?” 

“Yeah, no Red Robin.”

“Okay, meet me at the Bat Burger. You have to eat something first.”

“Be there in thirty minutes,” he says as the line disconnects. 

Jason signs. 

“Who are you talking to?”

If Jason were not trained to school his reactions, he would have lost his shit. He whips around to see the creature he has been chasing since he arrived this morning. He could now make out the features of a person. “Meta?” He thinks. “Oh? It has legs now, too”

“Who are you talking to?” 

“Red Robin,” he says cautiously. Jason can never be too careful. His hand finds his knife in his sleeve. “Why were you running?”

“Bored. No one to fight here.”

“Are you meta?” 

“Meta? I guess by your definition, yes.”

“Batman does not take too kindly to uninvited metas.”

“This is my first offense, though. No three strikes, you are out?”

“No.”

“Do not worry yourself, then. I am just on vacation. I only needed to stretch my legs.” The meta’s legs morph into a tail and back. 

“How long are you here for?” 

“I do not know. A few decades? A century? I lose track of time easily these days.”

Jason is slowly being lulled into a state of calm. He did not even notice his hand releasing his blade or his anxious caution leaking away. 

“You stink. Do you know that?” One sentence and Jason was snapped back to reality. He was questioning a potential threat and he was nowhere near able to defend himself.

“People keep telling me that,” he replies as casually as he can. His mind is panicking at how easily he lost his focus. He begins making up time. He observes the meta more, noticing the barely perceivable green fog leaching off of the person. A younger guy he is realizing. A young teenager maybe fourteen. 

“Wait,” he interrupts his own thoughts, “green glow and calming effect.”

“It might be the dirty ectoplasm you are carrying with you.” He does not linger on his newfound awareness. He is caught up in something entirely new.

“Ecto-what?”

“Ectoplasm. Glowing green goop. Radiating ghostly energy? Ring a bell?”

“Like a Lazurus Pit?”

“A what?”

Jason takes a breath to begin explaining but his phone ringing interrupts him. He answered without a second thought. 

“Where are you?” Tim says over the line. “I am here.”

“That was way less than thirty minutes.”

“No, it has been longer. Almost an hour.” Jason’s eyes flicker to the person floating in front of him. 

“Okay, I am not far. I am bringing a guest.” He ends the call as quickly as he had answered it. “What’s your name, kid?”

“You can call me Phantom.” He smiles.

“Do you eat burgers, Phantom?”

“I do!”

“Then, come on.”

---------

also on ao3

I am excited for the upcoming chapters

[dqrciedaily]

baby arsenal headcannons, arsenal wfc x teen!reader

a/n: i am so so so sorry that this isn’t an actual fic but i’ve left yous without anything for like two weeks so take this 🥰🥰🥰

warning - this isn’t proofread so pls ignore any mistakes x

-

1. she is maths no.1 public enemy - literally will stare at her homework for two hours instead of actually trying it. then the next day at school she gets in trouble for not doing it but she genuinely couldn’t care less because she’d rather have them email lia than try do trigonometry

2. her tiktok reposts and twitter likes have fans speculating like there is no tomorrow - she’s definitely liked transfer rumours on twitter before as well as reposting things she shouldn’t be and she reposts things that happened way back way but people think it’s about her current situation, leading to some very concerned fans in her tiktok comments and instagram requests.

3. baby girl has stina and laura wrapped around her finger - she’s cold? stina’s gonna give her the jumper she’s wearing. she’s hungry? laura’s up to make her something to eat, even though maus is perfectly capable of doing it herself. they’re basically on her beck and call.

4. she always curses out players in german on the pitch - when she was younger her brothers taught her the art of cursing people out in german then speaking in english to confuse them. however this did not work when arsenal played chelsea and she went flying after a tackle from nüsken, who very obviously understands german, leading to maus getting a yellow.

5. which leads to the next point which is that she gets her fair share of yellows - giving katie a run for her money, although most of hers come from back chatting the ref and not from actual gameplay, although she isn’t afraid to put in a heavy tackle here and there.

6. her + kyra = little shits on steroids - on the first media day of the season they decided to put y/n and kyra in three of the same interviews, let’s just say absolutely nothing productive happened until caitlin had to come in to do an interview with the two of them.

7. she’s lia’s no.1 reason for her early gray hairs - firstly maus is awful at answering phone calls, so if she’s out with her friends and lia needs something best believe she cannot contact her. secondly the amount of emails the school sends her may send lia into overdrive, she genuinely couldn’t care less if y/n didn’t do her homework as long as she’s passing all her classes, which she is (besides math but lia doesn’t need to know that.)

8. y/n has the best outfits - her instagram feed is filled with mirror pics of her outfits and they’re all just so good!!! she’s known for her fashionable clothes throughout the woso community.

9. she gets really really really nervous when doing interviews by herself - she already refuses to do orals in school because they stress her out too much, so after her first full 90 for arsenal she gets called to do an interview and poor girl is swaying from side to side the entire time, stumbling over her words and overall looking like a deer caught in headlights.

10. the first time she brings a girl or boy home lia gets a group of the girls to pretend they’re over for dinner without telling y/n - so then when y/n gets home she sees most of her teammates there and very hastily shoves her ‘friend’ upstairs, before going over to the girls who all tease her. then when she’s upstairs in her room with her ‘friend’ they all take turns coming upstairs to walk past the closed door to hear what they’re talking about.

11. she is a hugger of note - the first time she meant all the girls minus her shy demeanour she hugged every single teammate she met. she is also a massive cuddler, on the team bus she makes ours sit in the window seat (much to the brunettes complains) then uses kyra as a pillow which 1. forces kyra to be quiet because she doesn’t want to wake y/n and 2. she can’t move around the bus as she wants deciding to annoy everyone which the other girls are very thankful for.

12. her first crush on a girl was laura freigang, who she had seen around the german youth camps before - she even told her parents at one stage that she was going to go to penn state just like lau did but that phase was short lived when she then developed a crush on one of her teammates in her age group instead.

13. in another life she’s a dj who lives in ibiza - literally no explanation needed, she truly is a party animal at heart and would go to all the festivals and raves possible during the off season.

[alacants]

novandy headcanons?

what this ask is forcing me to do is confront how much of my conception of novandy is not my own thinking but was downloaded directly into my brain from anon bff who is the real expert here. like, i have a broad-strokes vision but i lack the minute knowledge of lore to have specific headcanons about specific events. (am i just a sentient sock puppet? maybe.)

ok my take more or less is:

for novak playing tennis against andy and then losing was frustrating in the moment but fun in the longterm. not saying that he enjoyed losing, lmao i think we're all on the same page there, but it didn't get in the way of the relationship.

for andy playing tennis against novak and then losing was very much NOT fun and very much DID get in the way of the relationship.

ever since it did novak has wanted and believed in the happy ending where they get past everything (expectations, disappointment, rivalry, interpersonal family drama, etc) and reconnect and have a special relationship again. just two old friends watching their kids play as the sun goes down.

the weight of expectation on andy—singlehandedly overcome the 77 year british men's tennis curse—was placed there by forces outside of his control.

the weight of expectation on novak—make my country proud, look after my family, make their sacrifices worth it, make my sacrifices worth it—was placed there by himself.

if as young players a magical wish-granting creature had presented novak with the chance to trade his future trophies for andy's health, there was 100% a point at which he would have made the deal, even if he later had cause to regret it. that moment passed. 

there was not a point at which andy would have made the same deal in reverse. and yet if you gave him the option of a do-over now, he wouldn't take it.

we talk a lot now about what roger's said about not wanting novak to crash the fedal lovefest. (even though—sidenote—if you ask me it took novak's ascendance to solidify the fedal lovefest, like once he was on the radar roger once and for all abandoned the dreams of glorious solitary splendor and fully embraced that rafa is GREAT rafa thinks i'm great rafa is my most special rivalfriendsituation. fuck this new kid.)

but at the time it wasn't just novak who seemed poised to do so. that is historical revisionism. in march 2009 the murray-federer h2h was 6-2. they were BOTH monster rookies and they were BOTH considered disrespectful kids with bad attitudes, and they were BOTH upsetting the established order of things, the established order where roger wins wimbledon and rafa wins roland garros and every so often they switch it up just for fun and they say all the right things about the sport and about each other and we all collectively achieve tennis nirvana.

(and at the same time they liked rafa and roger, to varying degrees, and it stung when they were written off.)

i'm just recapping bff's latest fic aren't i. well. they were right. flaps my sentient sock puppet mouth.

as far as novak is concerned, it was never supposed to be just him dethroning fedal, it was supposed to be him and andy, battling it out for all the big trophies and inheriting the mantle at the top and making the world acknowledge them. reality went differently and novak is still mad about it.

at some point, when you are mad enough that you can't have the thing you want, you might as well burn the rest of the world down instead. 

to this day novak really thinks of the two of them together on the same level! god this gets me so good every fucking time. #1 andy murray truther, i said before, and this is not a headcanon it's fact. "andy's the greatest returner i've ever played" is?? he???? and i'm saying that as a big 4 believer! (someday everyone who refers to the big 3 era is going to wake up locked in an interrogation room while novak explains his passions to them.)

i would love to know how much of current day novak believes that if he repeats this aloud often enough he will get that happy ending. 

PRIOR TO NOVEMBER 23 I WOULD HAVE SAID IT WASN'T GOING TO HAPPEN albeit mostly due to non-tennis reasons. i'm team kim.

but just when you think you've got it figured out, trust ultimate self-made cyborg-villain-hero-monster novak djokovic to knock over the table.

i genuinely have no fucking clue what's going to happen in australia.

[cherry-romper]

gen narumi x medic reader, where his vice-captain and platoon suddenly realizes why he gets injured so often (to see reader)

Gen Narumi X Medic!Reader

Warnings; Mentions of blood and injury

Contains; fluff, angst(?), GN!Reader

Word count; 936

For a guy who classes himself as “the best”, he sure gets injured a lot.

He was never grievously wounded, but he’s always need stitches – this just so happened to be your department.

His platoon often made fun of him, jesting at how he’d “fallen off”

It got so bad that he’d been called into the Director’s office, many were concerned as to why he was suddenly getting injured so often. 

No matter how small the cut, he'd always end up at your door. His platoon teased him relentlessly.

Ignoring them, he waltz into your office and man-spread in your chair.

He'd stare you down as you worked, unflinching as you cleaned and dressed his wounds. 

You’d shift uncomfortably under his gaze, looking up to him a couple times, irritated. 

You felt very judged, like he was scrutinizing your every move.

Even if the gash was on his back, he’d crank his neck round to watch you while you work. 

After the first few times, you got used to it and voiced your irritation: “Stop watching me while I work.”

“Why should I?” you didn’t even have to look at him to hear the smirk that tugged at his lips.

Frustrated, you set down your needle and thread with a clank. “You make me nervous; my hands shake the more you stare. I could hurt you more.”

“I can handle it.”

“Or stop getting injured, then we won’t have anything to worry about, would we?” you counted, sarcastically. 

He scoffed as you got up, shifting his weight in the chair. 

For the third time this week, you bandaged another part of his body. 

He’s gonna run out of limbs to injure soon, you thought to yourself.

He didn’t say thank you as he left your office. 

You tried to not let it get to you, he had a reputation for being rude. 

It was only two days till he was back again, some pathetic cut on his pinky finger. 

You were a professional, to laugh in his face wouldn’t be right, but it was hard not to with him stood there, cradling his hand like it had been cut off. At 2 am no less.

“Bandage,” was all he said, almost demanding.

Cocking a brow at him, you looked from his face to his hand. There was barely any blood, you couldn’t even see the cut.

“What did you do?”

“Papercut.”

“Narumi…go to bed.” You turned to close your door, but his foot stopped it.

Using just he leg his pushed your door open again, making his way over to his usual spot and held out his hand for you to examine.

You were shocked but thought it best to entertain him. Quicker you gave him a plaster, the faster you could get back to sleep. 

Grabbing what you needed from your cabinet, sat across from him. Taking his hand in your own, you can feel his familiar gaze on you. 

Wiping it down and wrapping a plaster round it, you tapped on the back of his hand, “there you go, now can I go back to bed?”

“No,” 

Puzzled, you looked back to him.

“I actually have this weird mark on my ass,” without hesitation, he shifted in the seat onto his knees.

“WOAH!! Not my department, buddy!” you scrambled to stop him moving any further. 

He laughed, “I’m just joking”

You didn’t know if you should laugh or cry, you were too tired for this. 

He saw himself to the door, “thank you…and goodnight, Doc.”

A week had passed since you’d last saw your favourite patient. Until your peace was disturbed on a Wednesday afternoon. 

Once again, Narumi had some meek slash on his abdomen. Not deep enough to cause issue, but enough to warrant stitches. 

Conveniently, his suit didn’t complete the healing process, again.

Your usual routine unfolded. Him staring and you just trying to work.

However, for the first time, he flinched. Not at the needle, but at your touch.

Taking a step back, you asked if he was okay. No matter who your patient was, their comfort and health were your top priority. 

He just nodded, nervously biting his lip. Unable to meet your gaze.

You made sure he was okay as you continued to weave the thread in and out of his flesh. 

He winced a couple times, jolting as your hand grazed over his bruised torso. 

His body temperature had risen, and you could feel the sweat forming on his body. 

Looking to his face, you could see the beads glistening on his forehead and the blood pooling in his cheeks.

“God, Gen. You’re burning up.”

He shook his head and cleared his throat, “don’t worry about it, I’m fine.”

“Of course I’m worried about it!” You knew form your years of experience it was best to finish one task before starting another.

Completing the last few stitches, you pulled them tight. 

A gasp escaped Gen’s lips. He launched forward, grabbing a hold of your wrist. 

He was hunched over in the chair, his hair covering his eyes. You couldn’t make out the expression on his face. 

“Are you okay? Talk to me, Narumi!”

He let out a weak chuckled, “you’re really loud, Doc,” 

His hand still gripping your wrist tight, he meets your eyes. 

His lips were pale and his eyes sunken. 

Panic immediately washed over you.

“God, you’re bleeding internally,”

Calling for extra nurses to assist you, he slumped against you.

“This is what I get for wanting to see you, huh?”

Perplexed, you try to lift his weight off you and move him into a safer position, but he wouldn’t budge. 

Resting his head on yours, he whispered in your ear “I’m sorry, Doc. I just didn’t know how else I’d get to see you.”

“Gen Narumi, you idiot.”

[danieyells]

After Hotaburi's chapter i was very curious about Zenji voicelines! Can i ask for them, please?

@yuri-is-online YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT OVERWHELMING ME although I appreciate the concern!! If I get overwhelmed or need a break I just put it aside until I'm ready or have the time and energy and attention span or ideas if necessary haha so no need to worry there 'u' (Also. . .good luck with those fics lolol)

ZENJI IS OUR LAST BOI. Until we get Ed and Lyca anyway. Which will honestly probably be in like. A week or two. Possibly less. I had my suspicions when I first read his that he was a ghost lol knowing he is. . .it gives them a little different feeling I guess haha.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"Why, hello there, my dear. Suppose we kick off another swanky day here?"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Come now, read those messages out, won't you? They're fan letters for me, aren't they? ...They're not?"

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"You want to know the meaning of my words? I see— I'll have to give you a lecture on romanticism."

"What's this? Well, it's a biwa, of course. It's a biwa just as you are yourself."

what does that mean tho. . .i mean i get what it means but also it feels like it must mean something. . . .

"Girls, be ambitious... Dream big, my dear."

proud women enjoyer zenji kotodama

"A man who's everywhere but can be found nowhere... That's what it means to be an inspired man of the quill."

i think that's just what it means to be a ghost bby. . . . . . . . . . .

"Heh. There's no doubt about it. Zenji Kotodama is once again the most styling man on campus. These glad rags are the cat's pajamas."

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Come now, let's depart in search of something sensational."

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh, have you come to see me? This is troubling. I'm afraid I'm out of autographs."

where have you been distributing them. . .?

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"What am I doing here? ...I'm people-watching."

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ordinarily I ask for write-ins for my advice salon on the World Wide Web...but tonight, I'm taking it out into the field."

i wonder if he's waiting to encounter people who'll be able to see and hear him or if he's just like. . .genuinely ignoring/forgetting/disregarding that he isn't seen or heard. . .or maybe he was ignored a lot in his lifetime too so he doesn't question that people don't respond. . . .

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"The moon is beautiful... I always look forward to passing the hours in conversation with you and Towa on nights like these."

i thought you didn't hang around jabberwock after dark because the dark was dangerous tho. . .maybe if the moon is big and bright he doesn't mind because it's not as dark lolol

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"My folktale videos? I filmed them at Haku's behest, but I can't imagine these old things will capture my fans' hearts..."

based on that the Urashima Taro video has his voice in it but his character story recording doesn't have him or his voice in it(and Haku deliberately tries to make the background interesting because he knows it'll only be the background and biwa sounds,) I think his voice can be recorded but if he's visibly in the recording it won't be captured? That or Haku has recording equipment that can capture ghost voices, but not images???

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"It truly is the age of YouTube. Can you fathom the romance of my artistry spreading to all four corners of the globe?"

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Every tool has its own knack you've got to acquire to use it properly. Behold— my mastery with a fishing pole!"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"This doll here is special. The moment I met him I felt a destiny such that I knew we couldn't be strangers."

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Oh, I didn't mean to give you a fright... I ought to have expected this. A sudden brush with an inspired man of the quill would take anyone's breath away."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Have you got any siblings, my dear? Why no, I don't mean anything by it. Just a little morning conversation."

i can imagine him looking fondly at his doll as he says he doesn't mean anything by it. His sibling isn't one of the most important things in the world to him or anything. He's just making conversation. btw in Japanese he says "morning talk" which sounds an awful lot like "pillow talk" to me and idk how many people would be comfortable discussing their siblings after the deed--

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Are you going to Mortkranken, my dear? ...I see. No, I don't mean anything by it. Are you hurt? I hope you'll take care."

so while it makes sense for Zenji to ask this as he is noted in his profile to be a worrywart, not to mention he died on campus, but also. . .y'know, his brother lives there.

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you. Apparently my footsteps give the general students the heebie-jeebies..."

In Japanese it does clarify that he moves without the sound of footsteps at all because the general students freak out hearing his footsteps since they can't see him

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"A swanky morning calls for a swanky breakfast, and some swanky radio calisthenics."

apparently radio calisthenics are still pretty popular in japan. in any case man are you sure you died like a year ago you sound so old

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Why, Subaru hasn't risen yet. Go ahead and wake him, won't you, my dear? I'll accompany your efforts from here with my biwa."

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"A burst of inspiration has taken hold of me... No. The ghost of artistry has possessed my soul!"

okay well be careful with ghosts taking over your soul you don't have a ton left if you lose that--

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"To be a Darkwick student is to greet danger as an old friend... But I hope that Haku and Subaru have a long life ahead of them."

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Zenji Kotodama is a wonderful name, don't you think? A sensational name befitting of my sensational sensibilities."

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Trouble sleeping? Then I'll read you a story. How about Urashima Taro?"

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"I was standing by your pillow last night? Horsefeathers, I'd never. I was there the night before last."

BABY I DON'T THINK THAT'S BETTER. YOU ARE STILL WATCHING THEM SLEEP. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WATCH THEM DO.

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Go ahead and eat. No, don't give me another thought—I'm on a diet, you see. Watching you is enough food for my soul."

you see why i suspected initially that he didn't know he was dead? can you eat at all buddy?? i don't think it's a diet if you've lost the ability to consume food. . . .

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Haku's busy today—film me in his stead, won't you?"

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I've got a little story about a hapless fool of a man... I'm sure it's hardly worth listening to. I wonder if I'll ever get the chance to share it with you?"

the true stories seem like the ones he wants to avoid. . .'a hapless fool of a man's story that isn't worth listening to but i'd still like to share' sounds an awful lot like it must be about him and his life. . . . In Japanese he says 「救いようのない、馬鹿な男の物語さ」 "it's the story of an irredeemable/hopeless, stupid man.". . .who did you hurt, Zenji?

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"To be able to look into your eyes and bid you good night... I'm the luckiest fella for miles around."

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"Maybe we did meet too late. But it's all right. I promise I'll find you in the next life."

but. . .but we have this life. . .although this is one of the few acknowledgements he really gives of his own ghostly nature. He wants to be able to live with you. To be tangibly there for you, to touch you and support you, to be able to show you off to others. . .but he can't be recognized. He can't be seen or heard but by a select few, it's only thanks to Haku that he can be seen or heard by you. It's too late for something 'real' now. So he can plan for the future. For the next life. He'll find you when you're both alive and then you can do everything you'd want to do with a real physical boyfriend. He promises.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"In spring, the dawn... Red tinges the slowly paling mountain rim... Ah... These mountain fellas must've been goofy for some doll..."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"There is hope buried under the cherry trees... It means that spring is the season of chance encounters."

isn't the like. rumor that cherry blossoms are pink because they dye their petals with the blood of corpses buried beneath them or something? i swear i read that somewhere. apparently it comes from a poem. is hope a body buried under a sakura tree. is that where they buried you, Zenji?

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The cherry blossoms of Hotarubi are ephemeral—they bloom only to be quickly washed away by the rain. But I am rather fond of that way of life."

Zenji simultaneously lives in Acceptance and Denial stages of grief it seems lol

(between 8pm and 5am)

"The beauty of the cherry blossoms under the night sky inspired me to pick up my pen... Oh, it has gotten easier to lift."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Have you seen him!? Who? Why, my doll, of course! This is very troubling. I've got to find him before the boogeymen stir!"

. . .somehow this reminds me of the Jiro dialogue where he's like "if Yuri asks where I am, tell him i went to bed, i'm going out" lol if the doll reminds him of Jiro, it seems to make sense that now and then it wanders off on its own. I wonder where it's going though?

(between 11am and 4pm)

"My ideal summer vacation? I wish to lay down my burdens in the springs of Yugawara and pursue my wordsmithery in peace, as so many greats have done before me."

Yugawara is a hot spring town in Japan! Apparently since the Meiji era people would go there for inspiration and such thanks to the atmosphere

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"This master wordsmith studied by the light of fireflies... I see. Haku! Turn out the lights!"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I heard a frightful rumor... Apparently the ghost of a dead student has been spotted around Hotarubi..."

THAT'S YOU. YOU ARE THE SCARY GHOST OF A DEAD STUDENT. PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU MORE BECAUSE IT'S SUMMER.

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Fall is the perfect season for a new book, and I have the perfect one for you... From inspired man of the quill Zenji Kotodama, the fruit of his sweat and blood... "Body.""

(between 11am and 4pm)

"A song for you in the season of the arts... From inspired lute priest Zenji Kotod— Wait, where are you going!?"

why is this the one time 'biwa' is translated to 'lute' lol. . .although 'lute priest' does sound way better than 'biwa priest'

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Gauging the literary significance of this video by something as insignificant as views... Horsefeathers, isn't it?"

yeah!!! don't judge your worth by views or follows, zenji!!!

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I've decided to make you the heroine of my next work... A beautiful princess who bites into a poisoned apple and falls into a deep slumber... and seven of you!"

a fascinating retelling of Snow White. . .Snow White And The Seven Snow Whites. . . .

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"Good morning, fellas! Time for my biwa recital to color the chill of this frigid sunrise! I call it "Six O'Clock in the Morning.""

zenji nO PEOPLE ARE TRYNA SLEEP

(between 11am and 4pm)

"There's a rumor going around that you can hear a biwa playing in the music room when no one's there... I go all the time though, and I've never heard it..."

again. . .that's because it's you. . . .

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The setting sun... The sky dyed purple... Your beautiful profile, obscured... (gasp) I've been struck by inspiration!! My dear, I have to leave you here!"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Are you cold? Then let me warm you up... My dear, why are you scooting away? I'll only make you colder...?"

it really seems like he forgets he's a ghost pretty often lmao

His birthday: (June 19th)

"Is this...a birthday present...? (hic) (sob) I'm the luckiest fella around...!"

people don't give him gifts often huh. . .or he's just very emotional. both could be true.

Your birthday:

"I've planned the perfect day to celebrate the miracle of your birth... We'll start with an ode to you, accompanied by my biwa."

he planned you a whole outing or maybe a party! with all day musical accompaniment!! What a sweetheart!!

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year, my dear. I'll be making the first shrine visit with Haku—care to join us?"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"My dear...is this for me? (hic) (sob) I'll treasure it always...!"

well given he probably can't eat it. . .fair reaction

White Day: (March 14th)

"I'm sorry... I did try to explain that a biwa recital would make a better gift, but Haku insisted I present you with confections instead..."

thanks haku you a real one lmao although music wouldn't be bad just. . . .

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"No, I would never lie to you. An inspired man spins fiction with his quill, not his mouth, after all."

y'know, i love the honesty! you keep making stories and being open, zenji!

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Why, you gave me quite a fright in that getup! What a marvelously queer celebration this is! So this is the legacy of westernization..."

no the marvelously queer celebrations are in june. although halloween is also marvelously queer sometimes--

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas! I've completed a new fairy tale. May my wishes reach the hearts of children everywhere..."

not a gift for you, but for the children! can a ghoul ghost and a human have--

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"...And they lived happily ever after. How did you like my new story? I'd love to hear your— What? You weren't listening!?"

(13 affinity and above)

"Can you see me? Phew... You've been so quiet, you had me worried, my dear."

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Ah, I'm so relieved you're all right, my dear. I wondered if something had happened on a mission... I'm glad my fears had no teeth."

THAT'S ALL OF EM. He's really. . .he is himself the whole way through huh lol. At the same time when he does acknowledge his ghostliness(and oftentimes he does the exact opposite, simply lacking in self-awareness) he seems a little lonely and regretful. . .I wonder if he was always such a worrywart or if he started worrying more after he died, realizing first hand just how dangerous things could be. I'm surprised how few acknowledgements his doll gets, although I don't think he carries it on the home screen?

I wonder how different his personality was when he was alive. Probably not very different tbh.

ANYWAY IT IS HALF PAST MIDNIGHT FOR ME. BEDTIME.

[memescomicswriting]

It's Nice to Have A Friend

Ch 2: There's Many Different Ways That You Can Kill The One You Love

Summary: Fate is cruel on how it goes about obtaining its desires. It must be fate, because there is no other explanation for how perfectly molded Y/N and Helaena are to one another. They complement one another like opposite sides of a coin. Where Helaena is shy, Y/N is outgoing. Helaena has a photographic memory. Y/N has emotional inteligence. They have the right temperament to be the missing piece in one another’s lives. Ying and Yang. Then there are the boys. Love them or hate them, they’re there. Even the adults cannot escape the Targaryen chaos, and the fallout doesn’t spare the minors simply because they’re adolescents. Follow how Y/N and those around her carve out lives for themselves amongst the weight of the Targaryen legacy in a modern Westeros.

Word Count 9.4K

Pairings: Aegon x Y/N, Aemond xY/N, hints of Jace x Y/N, Platonic! Helaena x Y/N, Father Figure! Harwin x Y/N, Mother Figure! Rhaneyra x Y/N, Mother Figure! Alicent x Y/N

Warnings: 18+ you’ve been warned

Lots of profanity, sexual innuendos, drug and alcohol use, boys being stupid jerks, infidelity, divorce, eventual smut

A/N: God this chapter was such a task to write, but really enjoyable too. We see Y/N a year after moving in with Harwin and then six years after moving in with Harwin. For any age/timeline confusion, please check the Background information

Chapters drop on Thursdays. Please, please, please, please share your thoughts. I wanna hear them. I don't bite, promise!

Sereies Masterlist

It was no secret that Harwin had absolutely zero idea what to do with a girl. Even after a year with Y/N. He was as loving and supportive as anyone could hope for in a father figure. He encouraged her bike riding, various sport interests, and taught her how to kick the crap out of any boy who dared look at her wrong. Where he got lost- the hormones, attitude, and subtleties. Even his childhood friends, male, on the more sensitive side could not compare to the urgency a young teenage girl put onto every aspect of her life. Probably because they all had the attention span of a goldfish back then.

She can’t get her hair back into the perfect ponytail. Her hair is ugly and awful! No, she HAD to have the latest game console because all her friends have it and she was being left out. Arya must hate her because she didn’t sit with her at lunch today! Any inconvenience was a potentially life altering event. Harwin didn’t find Y/N less than a boy for it. They certainly had their own complications. He just didn’t know what to do about it. His own mother passed when he was young. So he had next to no insight on girls in general. Then the period came.

Late one night Harwin was awoken by muffled crying. That wasn’t an odd phenomenon in the apartment. Y/N lost her parents. She had every right to cry. Harwin always made sure to check in. If she wanted him to hold her, he would. If she wanted space, he’d give her that. What he didn’t expect was the bathroom light on, sink blasting, and Y/N fervently scrubbing blood off of her night bottoms. When they made eye contact, Y/N broke out into full sobs. It took some time, and encouraging deep breaths, to understand the entirety of the situation. Y/N woke up feeling like she needed to use the restroom. Then she felt it. The wet. Y/N panicked, flipped the light, and was horrified. She couldn’t understand what was going on. Obviously her mother hadn’t gotten the chance to explain what she’d one day go through.

Harwin felt helpless. There she was tired, sobbing like the world was ending, and he didn’t know how to comfort her. Mimicking her frantic energy, Harwin began sending texts and making calls at 3 am. He didn’t stop until he received the call he needed.

There was the click of the phone connection, a breath to say something, but Harwin anxiously spoke first. “Rhaenyra.”

Any annoyance that she might have expressed jerked to concern. She sat up against the headboard. Joffrey just fell asleep after a nightmare. She spoke as directly as she could while maintaining a whisper. “What’s wrong?”

Gods bless Harwin. He hadn’t been gifted a glossary for teenage girl issues. “Y/N got her period.” It was blunt, directly to the point. There was no other way he could formulate the night's events into a gentle analogy.

Rhaenyra let out a reminiscent chuckle. Her father acted the same way. He was panicked as well, but above all, concerned. It clued her in on how much he cared for her. “Well she is of that age.”

“Rhaenyra.” He repeated her name with more strain. His voice hushed as he shifted away from Y/N’s door. “She’s bleeding and crying. I can’t seem to explain this to her in a way that doesn’t make the crying worse. Her bed’s a mess and I have nothing for her to use.”

Though he had difficulty understanding the more dramatic of her female tendencies, sometimes he entirely forgot that she was a girl. He didn’t think of her as a boy, just a kid who needed him. His kid. The simple biological inevitable had slipped past his radar.

“Okay, okay.” Rhaenyra straightened her tone. “Stop trying to explain it. Tell her everythings going to be okay. Strip the bed and let her know it’s just bedding. It’s disposable. Let her run a bath or shower or whatever she wants. While she does that, quickly go to the twenty-four hour pharmacy. Get sanitary wipes, small pads with wings, pain reliever if you don’t already have some, an electrolyte drink, and if they have them, period underwear. It will specifically say period underwear.”

“I-” Harwin nodded, committing the list to memory. “I can do that.”

“When you get back, put her to bed. Everything will be better in the morning.” Rhaenyra let out a sigh. She brushed her loose hair out of her eyes and over her head. “Bring her by the house tomorrow. You can take the boys and I’ll.. I’ll explain things to her.”

Harwin let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Thank you Rhae.”

Harwin hadn’t explained much the next morning. He didn’t want to traumatize the poor girl more. Though there was protest about leaving the apartment in her condition, Y/N relented and got in the car. She was confused and a tad fearful when she recognized the driveway they’d pulled into.

“I can’t go in there Harwin.” When they’d parked, she jumped in her seat and clung to his arm. “The boys! The boys will want to play and I- I can’t do that!”

Harwin ran his hands down her hair stopping to caress her cheeks. “I promise you everything will be alright. The boys won’t bother you.”

She didn’t have much time to protest. Rhaenyra slipped out of the house and made her way to the car. The two older boys came barrelling out of the house and into the front lawn. Laenor followed behind with little Joffrey in his arms. Betrayal flashed in Y/N’s eyes and it struck Harwin right in the heart. She turned back to the outside world when the car door was opened for her.

“Hi Y/N. I hope you don’t mind the boys borrowing Harwin for the day. They’ve been very eager for this all boys adventure.” Rhaenyra saw the silent exchange between the two and thought that pretending this was a scheduled event would help defuse the tension. “But I didn’t want you to feel left out, so I invited Helaena to come over and have a girls day with us. She’ll be here in an hour or so. Come on in and wait with me. I saved some breakfast treats for you.”

Harwin mouthed a thank you behind Y/N’s back. He knew it wasn’t easy for Rhaenyra to talk to Alicent, but the fact she had to, to get Helaena for the day was an immense act of kindness to him. If he wasn’t already, he would’ve fallen in love with her then and there.

“I’ll be back later today.” He squeezed Y/N’s hand for reassurance. “Maybe we’ll return with pizza.” One of the boys shouted in excitement with the mention of pizza.

Like a wounded puppy, Y/N slunk out of the car mumbling some agreement. The boys rushed past her to climb in the vehicle. Laenor gave her a farewell smile.

Rhaenyra’s house was large. It needed to be to accommodate her family. Her father gifted it to her when she married Laenor. Though the exterior gave off the assumption of wealth, the interior was warm and inviting like a family home ought to be. All the furniture was a shade of beige to hide unavoidable stains that came with multiple boys. Plush pillows added accents of color. Dogs circled Y/N with excitement. A cat was hiding from the chaos on a bookshelf.

The kitchen reflected the morning’s creations. Mixing bowls were stacked in the sink with syrup covered plates. There were spots of flour on the counter. They never hired a personal chef. Rhaenyra and Laenor enjoyed teaching the boys how to cook and care for themselves.

A spot at the counter was cleared off for Y/N. Rhaenyra brought out french toast to heat up. Fruit was cut and mixed into a bowl. Butter and whipped cream had their own dish. Rhaenyra served Y/N and she let her hunger push her manners aside.

Rhaenyra found the girl amusing. She’d always wanted a daughter. They thought Joffrey would be a girl, but they were wrong. Maybe Y/N was a chance to practice for the day she was blessed with a little girl. Maybe Y/N was as close as she’d get.

Y/N’s eyes shot up from her plate when she heard Rhaenyra’s interest. With a tender smile, Rhaenyra tucked piece’s of Y/N’s hair behind her ear like she’d seen Harwin do for her comfort. “I’m glad you’re enjoying your food. Especially without much mess. My boys would’ve launched berries at one another by now.”

Y/N giggled. A twinkle came back to her. “I like to eat my berries more than I enjoy throwing them.”

Rhaenyra burst into giggles of her own with the unexpected remark. “Then you’re welcome to eat as many berries as you like.”

“Thank you.” Y/N hummed while taking a bite of her food. Her feet swung beneath her as the stool was too high for her feet to touch the ground. “Harwin is an alright cook but he likes these nasty shakes and snack bars. He says they’re good for you because they’ve got a lot of protein, but I don’t believe him.”

“I don’t blame you. They are unappetizing.”

While Y/N finished her food, Rhaenyra had excused herself to the other room to cue up music and movies on the TV. The snack bin and fridge were restocked the night before and the boys were prohibited from touching them under penalty of no sweets for a week. Once finished, Y/N placed her plate in the sink and went to find Rhaenyra. Two rooms over, Rhaenyra was curled up on the couch without her slippers and a coffee mug in her hand. Y/N didn’t know what to expect but she took a seat on the opposite end.

“How are you feeling?” Rhaenyra asked with gentle concern.

“I’m.. I’m fine, thank you.” Y/N avoided direct eye contact, but would glance in Rhaenyra’s direction with worry.

“That’s good.” Rhaenyra nodded along though she knew better. “Your first period can be scary.”

Y/N jumped like Syrax the cat when she was startled. 

“I know you might feel betrayed by Harwin informing me, but he did so out of concern. It sounds like you were awfully upset last night and that’s no way to be over something natural. And since he couldn’t attest to what you’re going through, he trusted me to.” Rhaenyra didn’t try to invade the girl’s space but she kept her body language open if Y/N wanted personal contact.

“I didn’t know my body could do that. I thought I was hurt and, and,” She hiccuped. “And I didn’t want Harwin to be mad about the mess.”

“That mess isn’t one anyone would be mad at.” Rhaenyra reassured her. “It’s something that you can’t control when it happens, but you get better at guessing when it’ll start.”

“I don’t remember my mom having that kind of mess.” Y/N admitted in a barely audible mumble.

“Because us grown women have had practice and we’re good at containing it.”

“So this will happen again?”

“And again, every month for many years. Every woman goes through it. It’s something that bonds us together. I won’t lie to you. It is never enjoyable, but it becomes normal to you.”

“I don’t want this to happen again. What if it happens at school? What if someone sees?” Streams of tears formed down Y/N’s cheeks and she flung herself into Rhaenyra’s waiting lap.

Rhaenyra encircled the girl in her arms and kissed the top of her forehead. “That’s the thing about us girls, we look out for each other. You’ve got Helaena and she’d never let that happen to you. And you, you’d help her too. Wouldn’t you?”

Y/N nodded against Rhaenyra’s chest. “So you see. It will all be alright.” She rocked a bit, like she would with her boys when they skinned a knee or bruised an arm. “And I’ll be here to answer any questions you might have.”

“Thank you.” The gratitude was soft and high pitched. It showed off how young twelve truly was. It didn’t take long for Y/N to fall asleep against Rhaenyra’s chest. She hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and Rhaenyra was so safe and warm. Eventually Rhaenyra had to slip out of Y/N’s grasp. She made sure to slowly lower the girl back onto the cushion. The throw was placed over her peaceful sleep.

It’d taken Alicent longer than expected to drop Helaena off. Daeron was no older than Joffrey, but fussier. She hoped that meant he’d be a calmer adolescent as his brothers had been the opposite. Today, Aemond decided he didn’t like the face Aegon made. The children’s play room turned into a boxing arena. Viserys was of no help. Locked in his study. He insisted he needed to work on some project before taking the boys for the day. The nanny had the day off. But since Rhaenyra had been the one to ask for Helaena, he could make time for his sons. Any other day, if Alicent had asked, there’d be some excuse. She was bitter that it took Rhaenyra asking for Viserys to remember he had other children. All the same, she was happy to enjoy some time with just her girl.

Alicent had difficulty understanding Helaena. Her boys drove her to her wit's end, but she grasped why they were the way they were. They were young boys. Helaena though, she was not a typical young girl. She couldn’t stand going to the salon with Alicent. Something was always too loud or smelled too strong. At times, if the light was too bright it bothered her. She didn’t like her nails painted or someone cutting her hair. As a toddler she fought to escape the dresser’s chair. Rather than dresses with frills she preferred plain fabrics of the same texture. She loved the outdoors and anything that crawled. Her brothers were wild. Helaena just liked wild things. And she was smart, so smart. She knew what was going on around her at all times and comprehended her surroundings with the ability of someone twice her age.

The word Autism was brought up in early elementary school. Helaena was ahead of her peers academically, but she had difficulty interacting with them. She’d often cry in class for no apparent reason. Allicent vehemently rebuked any teacher who suggested something was wrong with her daughter. To Alicent, to admit she might be different was to admit she was defective. Helaena got better at controlling her reactions and regulating her behaviors. Masking, they called it. Still Alicent refused to accept they needed help. It wasn’t until Alicent noticed how Helaena plucked her eyelashes away and the bruising from pinching her arm that she finally relented. High functioning, that was the diagnosis. As an adult, Helaena would most likely blend in with everyone else, but she’d always struggle. There would always be something too loud, too bright, or taste wrong. However, now she had access to therapies and medications to help with her anxiety. Helaena could almost be normal.

Though she’d typically loathe the idea of time with Rhaenyra, Alicent saw how Helaena thrived with Y/N’s friendship. The girl could be quiet for Helaena’s sensitive ears. She also enjoyed being outside and tolerated Helaena’s interest in oddities. Y/N had the patience to listen while Helaena rambled on and on about her latest discovery. And because Y/N would go along with Helaena’s tendencies, Helaena in turn trusted Y/N when she suggested something outside her comfort zone. Maybe it was Y/N’s time spent with only her parents as company that made her more mature with other children. Alicent didn’t know anything beyond what she could see. What she could see was how Helaena’s lashes grew back and her actions grew bolder. For that, Alicent could view Y/N no less as a gift from the seven. She could even keep Aegon on a leash. Anyone who lightened her parenting load had Alicent’s favor.

So yes, she’d tolerate Rhaenyra if it meant bringing Y/N some comfort and Helaena time with her best friend. In a way, she projected herself onto Y/N. She lost her parents at the same age Alicent lost her mother. Like Alicent was, Y/N was surrounded by more male figures than female. Y/N presented more average female interests in comparison to Helaena. She’d let Alicent hug her. Y/N would even seek out a hug on occasion, though she was hesitant. Alicent was not her mother but the mother of her friend. Y/N was astute and kind as Alicent was as a girl. It was wrong, and she felt overwhelmed with guilt after, but on occasion she’d catch herself wishing Y/N was her daughter instead.

Rhaenyra greeted Alicent and Helaena at the door. With hushed breaths, she explained the details of the situation to Alicent. Alicent, in turn, was horrified for the girl and disapproving of Harwin. She held back her thoughts on the latter. She made a mental note to gently pull Y/N aside the next time she came over.

Helaena had made her way to Y/N off Rhaenyra’s instruction. She stood over her friend. Her head cocked to the side in the curiosity of her friend’s sleeping form. Silently, Helaena plopped down on the small space between Y/N and the couches end. This made Y/N stir.

“Helaena?” Y/N asked in her groggy haze.

“You sleep well. You don’t snore. Aegon and Daeron snore.” True to herself, Helaena was matter of fact as she tended to be.

“That’s good.” Y/N yawned and stretched. “We couldn’t share a room at sleepovers if I snored and kept you up.”

“No, we couldn't,” Helaena nodded her head in agreement. “My mom made me bring you one of my swimsuits. I hope I picked one you like.”

Helaena held up a blue and green striped one piece. Y/N took it and looked it over. How was she going to swim today? Wouldn’t she be like a squid with ink in the water. Helaena had told her of squids last week after watching an ocean documentary.

As if sensing her apprehension, Rhaenyra and Alicent appeared in the archway of the room. “You’ll be alright.” Rhaenyra reassured.

The girls spent the day swimming in the Targaryen-Valyrian pool. Y/N preferred this pool to Helaena’s. This pool had a diving board, slide, and sprinklers. Sometimes, Laenor and Harwin would bring out a net for pool volleyball. Rhaenyra engaged with the girls. Alicent tried, but at some point she found her way to a lounge chair to scroll on her phone. Helaena had a grand time sharing why mermaids couldn’t be real but lit up when Rhaenyra explained they could still pretend. The pool was adjacent to the guest house if they needed anything. Lunch was Doordahsed.

When they had their fill of the pool, Rhaenyra set up a movie for the girls. Though Helaena was adverse to most physical contact, she was content with Y/N’s weight against her on the couch. They settled on the Jungle Book. It had animals for Helaena and a plot for Y/N. They shared their snacks. Alicent and Rhaenyra respected each other’s distance. 

Neither realized how much time had passed till the boys appeared with a cacophony of boyish laughter. As promised, they brought pizza. Rhaenyra’s sons bypassed their mother at the sight of their aunt and Y/N. They had to tell them about their day. Helaena liked her nephews but could only tolerate them so much, but they were better at boundaries than her brothers so it appeared she liked them more. Alicent exchanged pleasantries with Laenor and Harwin. Sensing out of place, she called for Helaena claiming it was time to leave. Though Rhaenyra offered for them to stay, Alicent insisted that they had to get home to check on the boys. Helaena and Y/N whispered their secret goodbyes. Probably plotting when they could see each other again. Then Alicent and her daughter left. The remaining children missed the knowing glances the adults shared amongst themselves.

When it was time for bed, Rhaenyra insisted Y/N and Harwin spend the night. She had everything Y/N would need. Jace’s clothes, though for a boy, fit Y/N just fine to sleep in. The boys could make a fort on a bedroom floor and enjoy the night together. Once all the adolescents were asleep, the adults talked over glasses of wine.

“I don’t know how to explain it. Your girl must be magic.” Rhaerya pronounced as she took her seat next to Harwin. With the boys and Y/N asleep, they could be free with their affections.

“Must be.” Laenor agreed. He sat opposite the paramours. “How else could you explain Alicent being almost pleasant.”

“She’s a special girl.” Harwin mused before becoming a bit more melancholy. “I just hope I’m doing enough for her.”

Rhaenyra took Harwin’s hand in hers and made him lock eyes. “You may not be her father but you’re a great dad.”

“She’s thriving and she loves you.” Laenor reassured.

“I just see how much joy she gets being around Helaena, the boys, you, and then I think of moments like last night. When I wasn’t what she needed.” Harwin sighed and leaned back against the couch.

“You did your best.” Rhaenyra consoled.

“And actually, we’ve been thinking…” Laenor began which peaked Harwin’s interest. “Since Y/N is happy here, and since you’ve had less time for Rhae and the boys since assuming responsibility for her-”

In excitement, Rhaenyra cut in. “Move into the guest house! Like you said, Y/N has so much joy when here. The boys love her. We love her like one of our own. The boys love you, and I miss you.”

“It takes a village.” Laenor reasoned. “You wouldn’t be raising her alone anymore.”

“I, I don’t know what to say.” Harwin’s brows creased in consideration.

“Think it over.” Offered Rhaenyra. “There isn’t a deadline to the offer.”

Harwin and Y/N moved in by the end of the summer. The guest house was relatively the same size as the apartment. Y/N’s person wasn’t upheaved by a move. She’d spent most of her life moving. It was a tad strange. The arrangement. The adults explained it away to the children as they were all family and families lived together. The fact Harwin was their biological father was no secret. The explanation given when asked was Laenor couldn’t have children. That played at people’s hearts and ceased further questioning. However, to everyone but the three primary adults and uncle Qarl, Rhaenyra and Laenor were truly a married couple. In love and all. Oh how wrong they were.

Alicent always held her suspicions. Rhaenyra and Laenor moved to quick into marriage. They never expressed trying for children. Yet one day, Laenor couldn’t have kids, Rhaenyra was pregnant, and they used close family friend Harwin as the sperm donor. Viserys, Corlys and Rhaenys never questioned it. Then again, they never looked too hard into their children’s activities. Viserys would hear none of it any time Alicent tried to broach the conversation. She had no proof other than her perceived suspicions. 

That was, until Y/N came to Helaena crying one day.

….

No one who spent Yuletide with the Targaryens could say it was an uneventful experience. One would think the children were the root of all mischief, but really, it was the adults who couldn’t behave. Viserys wanted the family to spend the holiday together. Easier said than done. You had Alicent, her children, and on occasion her father. Then there was Rhaenyra, her children, Harwin, Y/N, and Leanor who brought Qarl, openly, for the last several years. Two-thirds of the Yule celebrations Y/N attended, Damon, Leana, and their daughters attended. If both Leanor and Leana were in attendance, then Rhaenys and Corlys were to be expected as well. That many adults with interwoven history kept things interesting.

There was the year Damon forgot how old his niece and nephews were. He bought each a preschool aged, drivable, electric dragon. Despite the older children being in their early teens, they enjoyed the gifts more than those of the intended age. The gathering room became their race track. Several holes in drywall, a busted floorboard, and one trip to urgent care later and the remaining dragons were locked in the garage.

Once Viserys called Alicent Aemma after one too many glasses of punch. Leana strengthened it hours prior, insisting this was not the children’s bowl. That made breakfast the next morning very awkward for everyone in the house. When it became clear that not only did Viserys not remember the slip up, but was oblivious to the tension, Aegon started an over under on how long it would take for Alicent to lose it. They made it to the Yule dinner.

The year of Rhaenyra and Leanor’s divorce was particularly awkward. Rhaenyra refused to speak to Alicent months prior. They hadn’t been in the same room since “the incident.” The children had to convince her to attend rather than host her own gathering. Rhaenyra spent the entire affair staring daggers into Alicent. Leanor, though not as volatile, didn’t do much to ease the tension. His idea of a petty come back was inviting Qarl. Alicent was uncomfortable with her guest’s lifestyle- as she called it. Harwin, bless him, tried but he also had zero tolerance for any disrespect towards his soon to be wife or family. That included Leanor and Qarl. Though Rhaenyra and Leanor’s marriage was founded partially out of fear of coming out to Corlys and Rhaenys, they’d taken things rather well. They were saddened that their son thought they’d ever reject him over something he had no control over. Screw outdated Faith of the Seven views on homosexuality. Leanor was their beloved son. Jace, Luke, and Joffery were as much Leanor’s as they were Harwin’s. Rhaenys and Corlys loved their grandchildren none the less, and neither had issue with reminding Alicent how she outed their son and nearly destroyed his family. Laena was worse, as she was fiercely protective of her brother. If she saw one of her nephews shed a single tear, no matter the cause, Alicent was to blame. Daemon lived for the drama and fanned the flames. Rhaenyra’s boys were in turmoil as their entire world just shifted. Aegon and Aemond used it as an insult whenever there was a disagreement. Y/N was stuck in a cycle of anger and timid guilt. She regretted she said anything to Helaena in the first place. She was mad at Alicent for not caring who she hurt on her never ending quest to defame Rhaenyra. She was mad at Rhaenyra and Harwin for putting her in the situation to begin with. She felt guilty every time the boys looked her way. Viserys was beside himself as there was no respite in fights to break up. He almost fainted when Rhaenyra and Leanor brought the divorce papers to Yule Night and used the gathering to throw a parting ceremony.

It was only tradition that the Yule of Y/N’s senior year was a disaster as well. The dining table was the battlefield. Words were weapons. Feelings were cannon fodder.

After gathering everyone’s attention, Viserys stood from his seat at the head of the table. “I’m very pleased to look around this room and see the faces of those whom I hold most dear. I’d like to propose a toast to you all. To my family. That despite our differences, we are all her together, as a family. As we’ll continue to be through the change-”

“Viserys.” Alicent warned, trying to pull him to sit. “Now’s not the time.” The latter pleaded, but not enough.

“Time for what, Mother?” Daeron, oh so young and innocent, asked.

“I would appreciate your sensitivity and support, my family, as Alicent and I begin the process of divorce.”

“Viserys.” Alicent seethed. She wasn’t ready for this but that damned punch struck again.

“Old friend, I don’t think-” Otto began.

“No, no, your thoughts are what ensnared my brother in this ruiness match to begin with.” Daemon spat at Otto. Neither liked the other, never had, never would.

“Now Deamon, she’s still the mother of four of my children-” Viserys began.

Damon tutted. Alicent nodded in agreement and held herself proudly.

Viserys’ protection withered when he saw the deathly stare Alicent shot at Daemon and the scowl of warning at Rhaenyra. “-Even if she chooses to bring another man into our marriage bed.”

“What?” Wide eyed, shocked and inflamed, Rhaenyra’s focus burned on Alicent.

“Oh don’t hang me for sins you yourself are guilty of.” She was rather quick to her own defense. She let her pride blind her to the fact children were still in the room. Her ire shifted to Viserys next. “And you, you’ve held a ghost in our marriage bed for the entirety of it!”

With the implication of her mother, Rhaenyra knocked her chair over as she flew to make Alicent regret her declaration. Luckily, Harwin caught her. A cacophony of insults followed from all directions.

Calmly and with a glimmer of amusement, Rhaenys turned to the older children nearest to her. “Take the younger ones to the playroom please.”

Jace grabbed Joffrey and Luke followed. Aemond picked up Daeron. Aegon, Helaena, Baela, Rhaena, and Y/N followed behind the rest. It was Helaena’s idea to set up the Nintendo games for the younger boys. Joffrey and Daeron were the same age and easily distracted that way. Luke, rather than follow the elder lot, volunteered to remain with the two youngest. Playing Mario Kart interested him more than the destined debrief.

Aegon looked to Aemond and Y/N, it wasn’t a suggestion but an invite. Aegon was going to drink no matter what. Aemond had no objections considering the pandemonium of it all. Y/N was thinking the same thing. Even Helaena was ready to numb herself. Baela and Rhaena were in unfamiliar territory and had no objections. Jace, well he wasn’t sure what the others silently agreed to, but he followed.

While in the doorframe to the upstairs den, Jace was stopped. Aegon held a hand to his chest. “Uh, uh, uh this is reserved for those who can hang. You… cannot.”

Jace inhaled like a bull ready to charge. Fuses were short all around.

Y/N knocked past Aegon and let Jace in. “Don’t be a twat.”

“Is it or is it not my parents who are this Yule’s shit show? If anyone can be a twat, I can. And…” Aegon turned back to Jace with a malicious grin. “One drink in and he’ll be running to hide in his mummy’s skirts.”

“Do us all a favor and go skydiving off the roof you wastril cunt.” Jace would’ve taken a swing, much like his mother, if he wasn’t being held back.

“That’s enough.” Y/N’s voice boomed over both the boys. She was holding Jace back. Helaena didn’t know how to act. Aemond, much like his uncle downstairs, was finding the scene in front of him very amusing. Baela and Rhaena simply observed, eyeing each other with their own secret language.

“Jace,” Y/N’s voice sweetened. “Can you please get me one of the hard seltzers from behind the bar, in the small fridge?”

“Ugh,” Aegon rolled his eyes. He’d already swiped a bottle of wine. As Jace made his way to the bar, Aegon made his way to a leather sofa. “Gods forbid we exclude one of your devotees.”

“What?” Y/N spun to Aegon in hardened confusion.

“Oh don’t play naive. We all see the way he looks at you. His eyes are glued to your ass like a starved dog follows a meat truck. You say jump and he asks how high.”

Aemond was leaning forward against the back of the couch, behind Aegon. It’s how Aegon was able to hear Aemond’s small huff of amusement. Already in the mindset to destroy everything around him, Aegon went in on his brother next.

“Like you’re any better.” He shifted to look up at Aemond who was now scowling. “You blow a load anytime she breathes in your direction.”

Aemond wound up to deck his brother but Aegon rolled to the floor to avoid the punch. His laughter was borderline maniacal.

It was Helaena’s even voice that halted the ongoing spiral. “That’s not true.”

Her words were adamant. Everyone cocked their heads at Helaena’s interjection. “Neither like Y/N. She’s like a sister.”

Looks were exchanged. The boys in the room would think the declaration was one of sarcasm if it hadn’t come from Helaena. In Helaena’s world, it was obvious that everyone viewed Y/N like a sister, like she did. Or at least, that’s all she showed knowledge of. They’d known each other for seven years now. Y/N lived with Jace and his family. Everyone was uncle or aunt to Y/N. What Helaena didn’t realize was Y/N wasn’t blood with any of them. She was a consistent presence. They were hormonal teenagers. She was a shame free focus of affection.

Y/N observed each and everyone of them searching for anything she could use to continue her intensional delusion. None of them had feelings for her. They were all friends. Kind, devoted, affectionate friends.

An uneasy truce settled over the room. Helaena was an adamant person and no one was in the mood to go up against that brick wall tonight. So slowly, those without drinks slinked to get one. Guards were still up regardless.

At least two hours passed. It was enough time for each of the older children to go through four to six drinks each. With ease they dismissed one of the youngest when they came to make an inquiry. Not one in the elder group bothered to hear the question. That caused a problem when the youngest made their way downstairs to inquire about something to eat. The adults, exhausted and nursing their own drinks, were confused. Certainly the older children could’ve gone down to the kitchen to scrounge something up for the lot. Where were they? They were where? Doing what?

In their bacchanalia, the older seven did not recognize the storm of footsteps marching their way. Alicent blew down the door like a twister. Rhaenyra was on her heels. Soon a disgruntled Viserys was next to enter. A disapproving audience of Corlys, Rhaenys, Leana, and Harwin lined the halls. Daemon and Leanor had the good sense to know the circus would round back to the center tent. Harwin only went to keep his wife from ending up in the back of a city watch cab.

None of the older children could clearly make out what was being shouted at them. They were intoxicated and there were too many voices echoing off their disappointment. Aegon and Alicent were the first out of the room. She dragged her oldest out by the collar of his shirt. In contrast, a gentle hand guided Helaena to follow. Viserys shuffled Aemond forward. Leana came in and collected her daughters with a firm hand on either’s shoulder. Rhaenyra was last to guide her son and ward out. She was fuming like a dragon with smoke, but her guidance was just. The events of the night left everyone wanting a reprieve. She was disappointed in how her children sought it. 

It was agreed upon that Corlys and Rhaenys would accompany the younger children to the kitchens and distract them from the additional chaos to follow. Those being reprimanded were lined across the main room’s couches. Rhaena and Baela were off to the side. They’d face the least amount of punishment. Leana was a constructive parent, preferring to explain than admonish. Daemon wasn’t too concerned. He was doing worse at sixteen. Jace couldn’t make eye contact with a soul in the room. Aemond’s gaze firmly fixed to a very interesting speck on the wall. Helaena watched the room unafraid. Y/N and Aegon stole glances at one another.

“Deplorable.” Viserys began. “Delinquent, and unbecoming behavior from the lot of you! You see the strife your family is in and decide that’s the opportune moment to turn into tipplers?”

“Seems like the opportune moment to me.” Aegon muttered under his breath.

Viserys strode towards his eldest son. “What was that boy?”

Y/N turned her full attention to Aegon. His eyes were hardened and glaring between his mother and father. Y/N tried to bore her gaze into his mind, willing him to shut up before he made things worse. It didn’t work.

“I said, it seems like the opportune moment to me.” Aegon replied defiantly.

Alicent scoffed. She flanked Viserys to scold her son. “So you lead this debauchery? Is it not enough that you torment us with your frivolity and recklessness at university? You flitter about with no care, no decorum, no decency-”

Aegon roared and in a flash was off the couch in his mother’s face which caught everyone by surprise. Never had he stood up to her admonishments. “You of all people have no right to lecture me about decency!”

“Aegon,” Rhaenyra made a move to step in. She hadn’t turned oblivious over the past couple of years. She noticed Aegon began spending more and more time at her house rather than his own. At first she thought he and Y/N were hiding something, but then Y/N got a boyfriend and Aegon often made his way over even when Y/N was out.

“Mind your tongue to your mother.” Enmity welled in Alicent’s eyes. Her lips quivered in anger, fists clenching and unclenching by her sides.

“And when did you earn this deference, mother? Was somewhere between my audacity to question why your gym trainer was in your bedroom, and when you threatened to ship me off to the citadel when I refused to go with you to the sept to pray away our shared sins.”

Gasps filled the room. Those who hadn’t had questioning brows were in desperate need for their drink. Leaning into the attention, Aegon outstretched his arms and addressed the room. “Yes my dear family. My mother’s personal trainer, Christon Cole, puts the personal in personal trainer. In fact, he’s so devoted that he’s been bedding her for over a year now!”

Aegon strode back to his mother, eye to eye, a breath apart. “And she threatened that not only would no one believe me if I told, but that she’d see to it that I ended up at the wall. Isn’t that right, mother.”

The sharp clap of palm meeting skin rang throughout the room. Alicent’s breathing was labored by the crushing weight of Aegon’s admissions.

Aegon held his cheek in his hand. Tears collected in his eyes. His head had been thrown to the side, but he looked up at his mother with animosity that rivaled tenured enemies. Otto pulled Alicent away from her son. He was shushing her, insisting she calmed down. Viserys looked defeated. Everyone was mimicking the math in his mind. It had been a year. A year and Aegon knew. Aegon knew but didn’t tell his father. Aegon knew and didn’t tell his father because his mother threatened to have him banished and the closest to incarcerated you could get with or without committing an offense.

Rhaenyra looked to Leanor to speak for her as she was too dumbfounded by the turn of events to find her voice. “It’s best this discussion continues in the morning when cooler heads can prevail. You’re all dismissed to your rooms. If any of you dare further the troublesome actions of the night, the consequences will be severe.”

Other than Aegon, the others scrambled to leave the hostile environment. The sequestering was a delight by this point. Aegon trailed behind, slowly, letting his blazing scrutiny be known throughout the room. After feeling his hatred was known, he relented and crept away to the safety of his room.

...

Helaena hadn’t felt like talking. Y/N made it clear she could. Her home life had sunk into a deeper ring of the seven hells tonight. Y/N would stay and hold her and listen if that’s what she wanted. It wasn’t. Like a sponge, Helaena absorbed the emotions from the room and it exhausted her. She just wanted to sleep. So without much fuss, she collapsed into the safety of her bed to block out the world if only for a handful of hours. Y/N took the opportunity to truly prepare for bed.

Down another corridor Aegon too had thrown himself upon his bed. Though the air was chilly, he turned on his ceiling fan. The repetitive circle and white noise worked to dry his tears and release his stored adrenaline. He hadn’t spoken a word since climbing the stares. What did he have to say? Nothing he wanted to relive at the moment. Though he had a suspicion someone would make their way to his room to try.

The door opened and closed swiftly but quietly. Aegon didn’t look up to greet the intruder, but a smug grin slightly quirked his lips. “Was wondering how long it’d take.”

“And who did you expect, brother?” Aegon shot up from his reclining position to find Aemond at the foot of his bed. His arms were folded, button down sleeves rolled up, the creep hadn’t bothered to change in the time they were dismissed. He remained as composed as he thought it was intimidating.

“Get out.” He commended immediately.

“T’was quite the spectacle of an evening.” Aemond clearly had no intention of heeding his brother's words. “Don’t you think?”

“I said get out.” He sheathed. “I thought you just a twat, not a deaf twat.”

Aemond hummed. It was his response before his response. Just enough noise to fill the silence and prolong the time to gather his thoughts. He walked around the room, observing the state of things. He ran a finger over an unread book, then the laptop nearby, using the touch to his brother’s possessions to rile him up further.

“I didn’t appreciate your pettiness earlier.” Aemond announced, hands clasped behind his back.

Aegon scoffed. “Always mama’s little-”

“I’m not talking about Mother.”

“What in the seven hells are you on about then?”

Aemond stood silent, wanting his brother to catch on and admit he wanted to embarrass him in front of Y/N. Aemond wanted to wound Aegon with the understanding that Y/N wanted him less than anyone else. Irritated, Aegon either refused or was too daft to follow.

“Y/N.” Aemond clarified with a proud raise of his chin.

“Y/N?” Aegon asked in humored disbelief. “All the lunacy affairs of the evening and that’s the one you’re hung up on? Really brother? We all knew you carried a torch for her, but I didn’t know you were this down bad over some snatch.”

Aemond’s eyes inflamed with malice. The disregard in which Aegon spoke made him see red. “Do not speak of her in that way.”

“Please, you want to mount and ride her just as much as our gangly nephew. You idiots follow her around hoping one day she’ll attest your devotion was proof enough and let you fuck her stupid. Guess what, never gonna happen. She’ll continue to string you along with crumbs of affection like the pair of fools you are. She doesn’t want you. She never has and never will.”

Aemond was biting his cheek to remain composed. Gods, he fucking hated his cunt of a brother. If he was on fire, the world had to burn with him.

“And you’re nothing but her plug for an occasional high. She hates you.” Venom dripped from Aemond’s words. “Loathes you even when you’re good for that one thing. You taunt me because you know I have a chance when you could fuck everything with a pulse in a fifty mile radius, be the last man alive in Westeros, and she’ll remain the one girl you could never touch.”

“Oh brother,” Aegon stood and rounded the bed to stand face to face with Aemond; much like he had early with his mother. “For that I’m going to make her scream my name while you watch.”

...

Alicent passed back and forth in front of the fireplace biting her thumbnail. She lost her composure, she knew that. She knew she was wrong to have slapped Aegon. She was wrong for making him keep her affair secret. Viserys was right to threaten to take the children away. If she’d slap Aegon, who’s to say what she’d do when her other children brought her to anger. She sent her father away long ago. His presence only further incensed her anxiety.

By now, almost everyone was in bed or preparing to be so. Alicent couldn’t walk past their doors knowing the judgment that radiated behind them. Her pride and regret were at war with one another. The crackle of the fire drew her attention. She became lost in the flames. Fire and Blood were the words of the house she married into. Maybe that explained why she spent over half her marriage with her own blood boiling. This was the tipping point.

“You should try and rest.” A level voice spoke from the archway of the hallway leading to the stairs. “You’ll need all your faculties for the morning’s conversations.”

Alicent’s relaxed curls draped over her shoulder as she went to address the speaker. Rhaenyra.

“Please don’t wear the facade of worry. It’s unbecoming of you.” Alicent’s tongue hadn’t dulled. Here was an external target after her inward massacre.

“I worry for my half-siblings. They’re blameless in this.” She took steps to further herself into the room. “It hurts. Doesn’t it?” Rhaenyra cocked her head in rhetorical questioning. “Having your intimate life gutted and displayed for vultures to feast on.”

“The irony isn’t lost on me.” Alicent dismissively waved Rhaenyra away.

“And yet we live through this cliche. The pious turned sinner. The righteous banner fallen to the flames of indulgences.” Rhaenyra couldn’t help but let a little bit of satisfaction drip into her words.

Alicent’s arms were folded protectively over her one another, hiding her chest and how it heaved. “Where have you been all this time, hm? Playing house with your lovers and your father’s money. You ran from one flight of fancy to another. Fleeing duty, while the rest of us were left to carry on the burdens of your family name.”

“You chose this Alicent!” Rhaenyra retorted exasperated. “You chose. Your choice. Am I supposed to thank you for your election to marry Viserys and become queen of country club society?”

“You and your uncle, so quick to flee from the duty your name holds. Who else was left to hold up tradition and respectability.”

“Some traditions are best left in the past, Alicent! Look how the burden of them has destroyed you and your children!”

“And what do you know of my children?”

“I have eyes Alicent. Aegon carries the weight of all your regrets to the point where he withdraws into vice just to feel something other than the crushing knowledge that all his mother’s dreams died with him. Helaena is only as functioning as she is because the seven blessed us with Y/N. Do you really think she’s so quiet, or did you notice that she spends half her nights at our house rather than yours?”

“Stop it!” Alicent shouted the command but it settled as more of a plea with her hands over her ears.

“Aemond harms himself in the desperate search for a scrap of attention. All those achievements… he pushes himself to extremes in the hope that this next accomplishment will be the one that gets you to see him. And Daeron, well his Ipad has been his parent for some time now. My father isn’t blameless, but godsdamn Alicent I never thought you were one to give up.”

“I tried!” Alicent’s voice was stretched and scratchy with the strain of the day. “So damn hard that it broke me and I didn’t even want any of this!”

Taken aback, Rhaenyra studied the splintered woman in front of her. “Then why do any of it?”

“Because I thought I was doing what was right.” She sobbed out, finally letting her blood boil over into tears that had for long run dry. “I was doing what I was taught was right by the faith. Push want aside for honor. My father thought it was the right choice. My only choice.”

A breath two decades withheld deflated from Rhaenyra’s lungs. “Oh Alicent.”

…

Y/N spent her shower sobering a bit and replaying the night’s incidents. Another marriage who’s nail in the coffin was a child catching the act of infidelity. She was the only one in the house who could understand that perceived guilt. She felt empathy for Aegon and horror at his abuse. It was no surprise that her limbs acted on one accord with her emotions. She was carried to his door. Just outside of it she heard rumbling, a crash, and a string of cuss words. Everyone on this side of the house must have taken their Ambien tonight, as she was the only one concerned.

She dashed into the room not knowing what to expect, but certainly not expecting the scene in front of her. Aemond had Aegon by the throat on the floor. His knee was pinning Aegon’s legs down to avoid any kick up. Aegon was doing his best to swing at his brother’s jaw and scratch at his hands. Since Aemond’s growth spurt he’d had the upper hand as he’d always been the better fighter of the two.

“What in the seven hells?” Y/N rushed over to Aemond and hooked her arms under his and tried to pull him up. He heard her but he’d yet to process her presence or words. His reasoning was glazed over by the malice he felt. “Get off of him.”

Locking in like she was the anchor in a game of tug-of-war, Y/N heaved again. It was enough of a reprieve of pressure for Aegon to free his legs and bring a knee to Aemond’s gut. Aemond relinquished his hold on his brother’s throat and it sent him and Y/N spilling backwards. Luckily Y/N landed without much airtime as she was already low to the ground. She landed on her bottom with Aemond splayed over her lap. His hair fanned her like a blanket.

The sounds of labored breathing filled the room for the duration it took the shock to wear off. Y/N didn’t dare move with a recently volatile Aemond on her. Aemond’s limbs felt the ache of adrenaline and he didn’t care to move. Aegon rubbed the tender skin of his neck. He was the first to climb to his feet. He took a cold soda from the mini fridge next to his bed and held it to his neck. Watching him care for his injury persuaded Y/N to take action. With gentleness, she slid Aemond off her lap and onto the cool floor beneath her. 

She approached Aegon with worried care. Aegon allowed her to lift the soda can up to investigate his injuries. Y/N’s back was to Aemond, but he didn’t need to see her front to know her expression was one of concerned care. He could see it in the way Aegon’s creases softened. He knew it in the way Aegon allowed her in his proximity. Aegon was a bloody fool. He spent so long torturing Aemond and Jace over their affection for Y/N. It distracted him from the longing he felt for her. It was evident in the way he sought comfort in her touch.

Aemond straightened himself into a seated position before he spoke. His arms wrapped around his criss-crossed legs to give himself some comfort. His voice was as small as he could make it. “Why are you helping him?”

Y/N didn’t take her eyes off Aegon. She was guiding him to sit on the bed while she remained staning, holding the soda can. “Because he’s hurt.” She answered as it was obvious to her.

“No,” Aemond cleared his throat and spoke a bit louder. “Why are you here? You hate him.”

Y/N deadpanned and turned her disapproving gaze to Aemond. “I can have my disagreements with someone and still care for them when I know they’re hurting.”

Aegon sucked his teeth and released into a cocky smile like he had as a child. Due to her turn, Y/N couldn’t see Aegon’s face. It was reminiscent of the shit eating grins he’d wear when standing behind one of their parents on the rare occasion he wasn’t the one being scolded. Aegon didn’t need to speak for his previous words to repeat in Aemond’s mind. The childish expression was enough.

“Do you know what he said about you?” Aemond’s jaw hardened, teeth ground in irritation at his brother’s perceived upperhand. He wanted to hurt Aegon. If he couldn’t physically, then emotionally. Even if it scorched Y/N.

Y/N’s brows furrowed in confusion. Was this fight not over their mother and father? “What do you mean?”

Aemond stood at this and strode towards Y/N. He looked down upon her. There was a storm raging in him. “You stand here nursing his wounds but do you know what he says behind your back?”

All enjoyment evaporated from Aegon. “Aemond.” He warned, voice hoarse. Y/N’s attention went from one brother to another and back.

“You’re to be mounted and rode. He’d fuck you infront of me to prove a point.” Aemond continued as Y/N’s eyes widened at the crassness of it all. “And that was only tonight. To others, you’re the snatch on the side for when he’s finally bored enough to let you get it wet.”

Y/N’s eyes watered. She didn’t want to believe it. Aemond grasped hold of her chin and turned her neck to land her waterworks on Aegon. He wanted her to see the man she was doting on. See the real Aegon. In turn, Aegon had the good sense to advert his focus in shame at his words. He itched with regret over his loose lips. He never thought Y/N would hear his words and he didn’t even know why he said them. It was the rise from others, the attention, and the satisfaction he received from it that fueled his disgusting claims.

Y/N knew Aegon’s tells as well as Aemonds. He never made eye contact when caught in something shameful. Regrettably, she adopted the Targaryen tendency to make the world burn with her when hurt.

“Your jollies come from defacing the few who foolishly show you some affection. You’re pathetic.” Y/N spat. The soda can fell to Aegon’s lap.

Aegon’s sight focused on her pleadingly. “Y/N.”

“No.” She held up her hand to stop him from going further. “No more excuses. No more apologies. You want to talk like fleabottom trash, then be it too. Don’t call me when you’re drunk and crying. Don’t text and ask me to drive an hour to pick you up from whatever university bar you’re puking in. In fact, do me a favor and choke on your vomit next time. Maybe that will finally shut your foul mouth.”

Aemond snickered and it drew Y/N to turn on him. “And you, fuck you for being so bitter that you’d break me to watch him bleed.”

Aemond stumbled back as she pushed him out of her way. He allowed it in his shock. He hadn’t thought his admissions would be turned back on him. He hoped they’d make her seek him out in comfort.

“You both can kill each other for all I care.” Y/N stormed out of the room. Tears fell from her eyes with every step and she tried to dry them. The door slammed at her exit and it startled both brothers, making them plummet into the mess they’d made.

Next Chapter

[pocketramblr]

Absolutely love your writing for all the AU/5 headcanons asks. Can I ask: AU where Rei cheats on Endeavor with All Might? It happens after AM's injury, so she doesn't recognize him, and he ofc doesn't know that she's married in the first place, much less to whom

you make this very difficult for me by giving me a window of 6 and half years for them to have an affair and for every single moment of that window, Rei is institutionalized. how am i supposed to get them to meet, much less take their clothes off. ok. think. there are other fic writers who specialize in this kind of thing, surely. what would they do....

1- ok so. The fire alarm at the hospital goes off. Rei doesn't know if it's a drill or not, but she's been there for seven years and generally does not need a lot of support during something like this like other patients do, so the nurses wave her out and she stands around outside a bit waiting for the fire alarm to stop and them to go back in. (It isn't a drill, they wouldn't have evacuated everyone if it was, but Rei is on the other side of the building and facing away from seeing any smoke) (This smoke is from a villain attack that All Might is taking care of, though he's only got seconds left of his power to use that day. he quickly rushes off, deflating and stumbling out on the other side of the hospital. Where Rei is.)

2- Rei is like "huh that guy doesnt seem to be in good shape" and kinda waves attention at him, and a nurse who's passing out water to patients and keeping an eye on the road gives Toshinori some too, getting more concerned when he dazedly answers that he's All Might and coughs up blood, but the nurse figures he's concussed since he smells of smoke and must have been closer to the fight, and is just reeling from being able to see the number one hero in person. Then they get distracted and wave Toshi to wait nearby, where Rei offers to chill his water and asks if he's alright, if he breathed in any smoke.

3- They chat and then go back into the hospital as it's un-evacuated together, Rei hanging out in the lobby where he sits as the hospital staff focus on getting everyone else back to their rooms. It pays to be low priority sometimes. Eventually she tells him her name is Rei and that she's in room K18, if he ever wants to visit or call. She doesn't get to talk to anyone except doctors, family visitors, or other paitients, and most of them don't stay nearly as long as she does. It's been seven years, and she's very lonely. Toshinori is lonely too, and when he's out of time for a day and feeling useless with nothing to do, he likes to talk to a friend.

4- Rei has been in the hospital for eight years when it gets physical. At that point, Toshinori knows a bit about her family. She has kids, mentions visits from a son and daughter, and then quietly mentioned when her son turned seventeen- her daughter's already twenty. She's been there for so much of their lives. He asks if she's married, and she admits she isn't sure how to file for divorce in a hospital like she is, if she even can, if she wants to because she'd lose custody, if it matters when she's not raising them anyway. He doesn't ask much more, knows there is a dead child and a baby she says isn't safe with her there. Toshinori never called Nana 'mom' to her face while she was alive, and had a reason for it, and has a similar reason for not asking more, not asking for the other names when he gets Fuyumi and Natsuo's. Yes, the doctors and nurses all know Rei has a boyfriend who visits. they don't say anything. who would they even tell, anyway. I debated the humor of reusing the bit from candlelight shoto that Toshi and Rei could have a kid with a fire quirk, but yeah here? Rei ain't getting pregnant, absolutely not.

5- When Natsuo turns eighteen, Rei does actually file for divorce, or at least tries to get the ball rolling on that. Toshinori's trusted her that her marriage is over in all but name, but he's more at ease with it ended fully. Fuyumi is crushed but burying it all deep inside. Natsuo is like 'what are you talking about. divorce is the most normal possible outcome here.' But anyway, Rei also begins to bring up being discharged- something she never bothered with earlier, when it seemed like she'd never be able to go home while Shoto was there, and never would want to go back anyway. (Her parents are absolutely not an option either so where would she go once discharged? the hospital was her only security.) Toshinori then tells her at this point about his diagnosis, that he's supposed to be terminal, in a way. He doesn't have a lot of time he can give her. Rei says that's ok, she'll take what she can get. She moves in. Fuyumi still goes out to eat with her once a week, though Rei doesn't say she's moved in with a boyfriend, just says she's in a safe place and it's not Fuyumi's job to worry about it, please, let her do that, relax, be her daughter instead of a mother. Natsuo adds her to his cellphone plan and gets her one. Rei doesn't tell Toshinori her ex's identity. Toshinori doesn't tell her about OfA, though she does know he's mentoring a student for heroics and is very proud of him. (Toshinori is a secretary at Might Tower, he's a great mentor. Oh huh, he got a job position at UA at the same time as All Might, she wonders if they carpool.)

+1- OK THE REVEAL so the reveal is. Toshinori gets home from the SF. And Rei almost knocks him out by the door, eyes wide and panicked, asking if he's ok, if Shoto's ok. Toshinori is like "... young todoroki? yeah he's alright? i know his fight with young bakugo looked bad but- Rei???" And that's when it all clicks for him, he's having dozens of horrible realizations at once, all while Rei weeps over her youngest. Toshinori's been a hero for a very, very long time. He's felt hopeless, before. But even then, he's known what needs to be done, he just isn't able to do it. But now? he's at a complete loss with no idea what he should do.

[urf1lterr]

afterglow | pedro pascal [2/3]

"tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine, even when i lose my mind"

previous chapter: [1]

summary: being nominated for an oscar was a dream come true, until you had to spend the rest of the night near your deceitful ex who still loved you.

pairing: actor!pedro x actress!reader

genre: acting world!au, enemies/exes to lovers ?? au | angst, fluff, fighting, mature

word count: 15k

status: 2/3 complete

author's note: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT LOVES. even though its gonna be three parts lol i still want you to want more. i've been confused on my writing because tbh- i feel like i could do better and keep rushing with these storylines and end up regretting them AFTER they are posted lol. not edited- it really isn't.

"Let's cut the chit-chat and get some real answers, why did y'all breakup?"

"Andrew!"

"Three days have passed, she's fine now," he defended, shrugging as Florence shot him an irritated look by his prying behavior.

It has indeed been a few days since the terrible night that consisted in you meeting your favorite artist, crying beside her, running awkwardly away right after, having a screaming match with your ex, and then passing out in the car.

So, you couldn't deny it wasn't a memorable night.

The past three days could've been better to say the least if your management team stopped spamming you with text messages concerning the fight, maybe even ignoring the loads of pictures of your crying face.

Oh, the pictures. Not a fun sight to see.

Luckily for you, the pictures were only ones inside the party near Andrew- not Pedro. Unfortunately, though, your picture was turned into a 'crying in the club' meme.

You couldn't exactly be mad over it, you loved memes.

Thank the Lords the paparazzi were clueless and never ended up catching your argument with Pedro or you wouldn't know how to cover it up.

You could never get away with the typical 'friends fighting' after he shouted how much he loved you.

And bless the celebrities near you for minding their business.

To clear up your meltdown, you took it upon yourself to send out a quick tweet the next morning with a "i'm sorry i'm an emotional drunk. one second we're talking about 500 days of summer and then...well you already know how THAT ends."

In that moment you couldn't care less if people believed you or not, this was going to pass fast anyway.

Now here you were, sitting in front of your kitchen bar as Andrew and Florence decided to pay you a visit because they missed you- or so they say.

Realistically, they wanted to see if you were still a hot mess.

Which you weren't, obviously.

Shailene would have tagged along, but she was busy doing grown up things, such as working on her latest project Andrew claimed which was a slight bummer. She was the mediator, now who else was going to stop the arguments calmly between your two friends.

Florence disagreed, shaking her head. "You can't just ask her that, it's impolite."

Sighing, Andrew sent you an apologetic glance. "Okay, I am sorry." Not taking his eyes off you, you could feel his curiosity and eagerness from the other side of the kitchen. "But we're all thinking it."

Judging by how unresponsive Florence became, you could tell she wasn't going to fight him on this. And well, she was secretly on his side because your fight with Pedro was seriously excessive.

She just wanted to know what he could've done to make you so angry, it didn't make sense to her if he did cheat. He didn't seem like the type, but some people do the most surprising things- so she couldn't really tell.

"Do you want the last reason or all of them?"

Widening his eyes, Andrew shares a glance with Florence for a swift second before finding your eyes. "Last reason?"

"The last fight we had that led us to finalize our breakup."

"Finalize," he giggled, leaning on the marble counter. "This isn't a divorce process."

"For a person who is so concerned about my relationship crisis, you seem to be catch on to the most irrelevant stuff."

"So you admit you still want to be with him," Andrew declared, giving a smug look as you tried to process his words. "If you're still stressing over him, it means you don't want to let him go."

"I never said I was stressing over hi-"

"Did she or did she not just claim she was undergoing a crisis-," Andrew interrupted, slightly raising his voice. "-a relationship crisis, to be exact."

Florence sheepishly looked your way, capturing your stern expression before slowly nodding.

Your male friend clapped his hands loudly before bursting out a wider grin, happy someone had his back. "There we have it, if he's on your mind that much to turn into a crisis- you still love him!"

Furrowing your brows, you didn't know how to respond. It was true, you had many moments where Pedro agitated you even when you haven't been near him for quite some time.

But isn't being wound up over an ex part of healing?

Truth be told, you knew your feelings for Pedro hadn't completely disappeared, but love? You weren't even sure love existed by your past experiences.

"I do not love him," you hiss, vigorously snatching the water bottle on the counter and aggressively opening it. "How can love be real? It's baffling."

"Questioning the real question with a question," he sneers, making Florence and you become confused as ever. "You're so in love him."

Florence cuts in, squinting her face in puzzlement. "Wait- what's the real question she's supposedly questioning with a question?"

"Love!" he cheers happily before placing his hand on his palm, dreamingly gazing at you. "You have your doubts on what love may be, but without knowing it you're having them because you're questioning your love to Pedro since you're too scared to admit you still love him."

"I don't get it."

Rolling your eyes, you swiftly turn away and head towards your living room to lay on your couch. You were not in the mood to have someone else tell you what your feelings were when they weren't you. "I'm done with this conversation."

Hearing a low slapping noise, following an irritated hiss, you could make out Florence's displeased voice. "See what you did! Now she's not going to tell us."

"So much for moral support, you really are nosy," Andrew fought back, whispering loudly.

A minute or two went by since you couldn't make out what they were saying before rushed footsteps soon made their way near you as your friends awkwardly smiled, hoping they didn't upset you too much.

Because they really wanted to know the drama.

Pushing him roughly from behind, Florence sent you an innocent smile as Andrew landed near your side of the couch, trying his best to hold his composure and not turn back around and start another fight.

Placing a light hand on your shoulder, you blankly glance at it before meeting his attention. "We just wanted you to know we totally understand if you aren't comfortable...expressing your past-"

"Get your hand off me and let's get this over with so you two can leave already."

Florence quickly sat right beside Andrew, both not offended with your statement because they were fully aware of how annoying the were becoming.

Before you could say anything, Florence quickly spoke aloud. "Start from the beginning!" Andrew slowly looking back to her, he sent her a confused look. "So we aren't lost, of course."

Laughing lightly, you nod before adjusting yourself on your seat. It was going to be hard to remember all the details clearly because there really wasn't an exact time issues occurred, it kind of just naturally appeared here and there.

Now that you think of it, majority of the tiny disputes during the earlier days of your relationship were probably on the same level as when you two were splitting, but maybe the dense ones created towards the end really made it hard to continue.

"If I'm being totally honest, we never really had problems when we first started dating. He was really great," you begin, clutching onto a pillow you found right beside you. "And he would always make sure to watch me make it inside my house before leaving, that was when I knew he wasn't some fling."

Andrew smirked, nodding proudly. "Classic move."

Smiling at the thought, you focused your mind to uncover the ugly truths that slowly tore you two apart.

"But then one day, I wanna say a few weeks after our second anniversary, we just started...fighting?"

Tilting your head, you look down as sad memories began pouring through your mind completely. "It wasn't our usual small fights over who left the bathroom floor wet or dropping his ipad in the pool-"

"-you dropped his ipad in the pool?" Florence coughed, bewildered by your scandalous actions.

"He wanted to know if it was waterproof," you defended.

"Was it?"

"No," you nervously reply, avoiding their eyes. "But he had it backed up and I bought him a new one!"

"That was kind of a bitchy move," Andrew muttered, catching your pissed gaze. "But at least you made up for it!"

Maybe it wasn't that great of an idea to just throw it in, but he did say he was really curious and wanted to dump it under the sink.

"Anyway," you start back up again, making Andrew lowly sigh in relief. "Our fights were never that serious, or at least not until he started filming for that new tv series he joined."

Florence spoke up, lightly questioning "The Last of Us?"

Nodding, you shrugged. "I guess it's normal to say the time apart did cause a rift in our relationship, but it wasn't too bad. He always made sure to call and facetime at least once every two days."

"But one day when he was visiting during his week break he just...snapped?" you frowned, not even wanting to visualize the tiny argument.

You had to for your own good.

"He had been home for maybe two days before he suddenly became moody. Like- his attitude was insane, I have never seen him like this ever," you sigh, closing your eyes for a second before continuing. "He didn't want to go out to eat, didn't want me to make him food, and when I offered to have it delivered he slammed the bedroom door on my face and claimed he was going to bed."

"Woah, why would he do that?" Andrew asked, seriousness splattered all over his face.

You wish you knew.

"Not sure, I just thought maybe work was stressing him out so I wanted him to have his alone time to clear his mind."

"Did that work?"

Sitting up straighter, you send a sorrowful smile. "For the rest of that week-yes. He ended up apologizing to me when I tried going to bed and said his manager was being tough on him for some scenes they had done."

You remember the moment you walked inside your bedroom, disappointed that he was awake. Not wanting to cause more tension, you planned to sneak under the covers and deal with the incident in the morning.

But his arms slowly wrapping over your waist as you had your back facing him said otherwise. Pulling you closer, you remember the soft "please don't be mad at me" he whispered near your ear, making sure you felt his tight embrace as if to prove you were his.

That night ended with you turning your body over to face him, accepting his open arms as a way to answer his pleading way of forgiveness.

Like always.

"Once he went back to work, we still talked- but I could tell he wasn't fully engaged like he always was," you sulk, remembering the first time you caught him not listening. "It got to the point where I purposely stopped answering his calls."

Your friends quickly send you a shocked look, you continue before they could intercept. "I couldn't handle his lack of attention, I would rather have him panic from the rejected calls than just tell him why I was upset."

It wasn't your best move, but you were frustrated. It wasn't fair that he was the one who got to treat you poorly and you had to accept it.

You admit, maybe if you communicated with him about these issues you could've prevented many future arguments and even saved your relationship.

But you were human and sometimes humans act human.

"Then what happened?" Andrew asked, a curious appearance plastering his face. "You continued ignoring him?"

Laughing lightly, you shake your head. It was the plan, but plans don't always work out. "Actually, he secretly took a flight back home one weekend and confronted me."

Gasping, Florence jumped up in her seat and moved her leg under her. "No way!"

"Yes, way," you sheepishly reply, embarrassed at the memory. You can still picture the way Pedro stood in your shared bedroom as you stepped out of your bathroom, jumping at the sight of him.

Standing with his arms crossed with his bags thrown by the door, he was determined to figure out what was going on with you.

"I wouldn't say we engaged in a heated argument, but it was surprisingly really emotional."

Andrew leaned his body closer, too interested not to let his questions slide. "Were you guys never emotional? I feel like every couple experiences those moments together- it's what makes them stronger."

It should've made you two stronger, but instead it made you weaker without you realizing it.

"Pedro and I had our minor instances, but it never involved problems we were facing," you began, sighing slightly. "All I remember was finding him standing near the bed with no emotion- none. I couldn't read what he may have been feeling, he just looked so....empty?"

"Empty? That's not good." Florence commented.

"That could mean a lot of things, not necessarily anger," Andrew added, trying to make you feel better.

"I knew deep down he was mad, as he should be- I was the one ignoring him," you defended him, taking full responsibility over your childish actions. "But I could tell he was more hurt that mad."

"What did he say?"

"What's going on?" Pedro questioned, his eyes not daring to leave yours as you freeze- stopping your attempts at brushing your wet hair, extremely confused as to why he was here.

He wasn't supposed to visit for another month, or so he said.

"Pedro?" you squint your eyes, still not sure if he was really in front of you or maybe you were daydreaming. You were high off many shots of espressos, it's finally hitting you. "Is that you?"

Still staring plainly at you, he stays right where he was. In any other circumstances he would have run up and wrapped his arms tightly around you, but this night was different.

He looked disorientated, out of place. His eyes lacked intensity as his body followed, looking as stiff as ever. Even his breathing matched his energy, calm yet unsettled.

You left him confused and he did not like that. "Answer my question."

Batting your eyes faster, you realize what was going on and where he was. Gasping, you do the exact opposite of what he wanted. "What the hell are you doing here?! You're not supposed to be home- you could get fired a-"

Taking a hold of your arms, he stills you and ignores your rambling. "What-" he begins, moving his right hand to the back of your neck and forcing you to focus on him only. "-is going on?"

Freezing, you try to back your head away from his grip but he tightens his grasp, making sure to not be too rough so he doesn't actually hurt you- he would never do such a thing. "I don't understand-"

"You haven't been answering my calls, what else is there to understand?" He sternly recalls, not wanting you to bullshit your way out of this. "So you either have been ignoring me on purpose to be petty or this is your way of hinting you don't want to be with me anymore."

Shaking your head frantically, you try to talk but he cuts you off again. "-And don't say you've been busy. You and I both know I would have figured out if you had added projects to your schedule- your mom tells me everything."

If this were a good time, you would have laughed at his side comment regarding your mother, but it wasn't.

"Not everything," you spit out, causing him to squint his face and release his hands from you.

"Are you trying to tell me something? Are you not happy? Is that why you've been avoiding my calls?" he questions, tilting his head in bewilderment, not liking your attitude at the moment. "Because if you really don't want to be with me you should've told me sooner than leaving me feeling fucking clueless while I'm out in another country working."

"I'm not saying I don't want to be with you-"

"But you aren't denying it," he intercepts, firmly nodding in realization. "I get it, I'm just glad I know now and won't have to wait another month to finally understand how you're feeling."

Walking away from you, Pedro walks towards his bags and reaches down for them. You scoff at his disturbed demeanor. There is no way you should be the only one at fault here- you both made mistakes.

Pushing his backpack off his hands, he watches at it lands on the floor before instantly finding your eyes. "Are you seri-"

"Just because I'm avoiding your calls doesn't mean I want to end our relationship" you shriek, glaring at him as his eyes soften at your hidden truth.

Your angered expression and stiff posture hits him like a brick, there was something really bothering you and he was too oblivious to acknowledged it until you began overlooking him.

Taking a deep breath, you watch as your boyfriend intently examines you as if he's trying to read your impractical mind. Sometimes, he wished you would speak up when something was bothering you, in fact- he has told you many times in the past to do so.

But the idea of patiently waiting until it erupts is what he's sure you've normalized in fear of desertion. Or maybe refusal of reality- the two of you weren't perfect.

"What's going on?" He calmly questions again, dropping any signs of fury and replaces it with worry and concern. Reaching out to you, he softly clasps your shoulder before moving in a few inches. "Am I making you upset?"

Slapping his hand away, you cross your arms over your chest in agitation. "I'm mad at you!"

Blinking a few times, he couldn't believe how fast you spilled and chaotic your energy was. He's never seen you act this hysterical and to be honest, he was really debating asking if you were on your period or not. "Why?"

Pursing your lips together, you release your arms and let them fall on your sides. "You know why!" With that, you turn your back to him and make your way back to your bathroom to hide.

At this point, you felt it was acceptable to act unbearable- he left you feeling insignificant and you weren't going to hold it in anymore.

If you stayed there any longer you knew you would break down into tears. Showing your vulnerable side this early into an argument was too easy, you have to show how bold you were in order to get your point across.

Or anger across.

But it was really hard to hold a grudge, he was just so- loving, despite your recent incidents. Deep down, he did care about you and wanted to validate your feelings- or as best he could.

Grabbing anything you could find near your sink, you begin opening some moisturizer and splatter it around your hands to keep you busy. You could feel Pedro come inside your shared bathroom but you don't dare to peep his way.

"Honey- please," you heard him release a soft sigh as he stood behind you, watching through your huge mirror in front of the two of you. He could make out your distressed appearance and you were absolutely not fine. "You can't just steer clear from this, we need to talk about it-"

Slamming the poor jar on the counter, you swiftly twist your body to his front and feel all the rage taking control. "But did you want to talk all those times I called you?! No, you didn't give one fuck about me or Leia!"

"You named your dog after Princess Leia? That's smart," Andrew butted in, grinning. "You know, since he's in the Mandalorian and Star W-"

"We get it."

Maybe it was wrong to bring your beloved corgi into such a serious topic, but she was abandoned by her father too.

"I did talk to you! I made sure to call you whenever I had time an-"

"I'm glad I made it into your schedule- but maybe if you considered adding some compassion and empathy it wouldn't feel like I'm just another business call you hate!"

Panting, you send daggers his way as his eyes widen. Did you just say he doesn't care about your calls? Impossible- he loves your calls, it makes his days better.

"You aren't a business call and you know that. Honey, please understand- hey!" He cuts himself off once you finally had enough of his poor attempts to defend himself, trying to flee but he ends up being quicker on his feet and yanking you back to his arms.

But once you were wrapped around him, even though it was for pure captivity and not warmth, you instantly broke down. He didn't know you were in tears until he felt his shirt become damp and still then he just thought you were trying to spit on him out of anger.

Hearing your tiny whimpers, he immediately glanced down and lifted you up to catch a clear view of your face, despite your protests and blockings. "Baby, I-I didn't mean to make you cry-"

"You don't mean a lot of things," you spit out, swatting his hands that dared to reach your face. You weren't in the mood to make up, all you wanted to do was sleep your troubles away, especially with the draining work day you had.

Continuing your pulling, Pedro began becoming annoyed with your strong protests against his affection. Isn't this what you wanted? "Why won't you let me hold you? I want to console you, can't I be your boyfriend for the night and tomorrow you can continue hating me?"

"You see my tears and now you want to hold me but admit we'll still be out of place tomorrow? That's acceptable for you?" you laugh ruthlessly, allowing space to be brought in front of you. "Do you hear yourself?"

Groaning, he rubs his face hard before speaking his mind, trying not to sound too furious and scare you. "What do you want me to do? I admit, I did lack some energy-"

"Some?" you snort to yourself, your face still wet.

"Don't interrupt me," he declared, shaking his head at how rude you were becoming. "I wasn't the best partner, okay?! There, I admit it, but you don't understand how it is working constantly and not being able to see family and friends and-"

"It's like you don't even know me at all," you ignorantly chuckle over his nonsense and walk towards your bed.

What a way to dismiss your feelings.

"That's not what I meant," he sighs, following after and stopping you from opening your covers and hiding underneath them. "It's just hard being away from everyone I love, I'm in a different country. It's not like I can drive an hour away and suddenly see them!"

"I can't do that either!"

"Can't you just please, please, please- consider that my mindset is not good right now," he declares, his eyes filling with sadness as his arms slowly find your waist. Taking a deep breath, you watch as he looked up at the ceiling before biting his lip. "I know I am not being the best partner right now- or for the past few months, but I am trying."

As soon as uncertainty flushed your face, his hands tightened as his expression deepened into an emotion you never seen him explore before- dejection.

"I can't promise you I'm suddenly going to wake up and give you 110% every interaction we have," he began, his voice lowering as he tried to keep his emotions in check. "But I confess- I am being a little shit and I am willing to work on that. Just please- please don't push me away. Try to understand my situation."

He wasn't wrong, his life switched around once he accepted the role of Joel Miller and you should've known from the start he would face some difficulties. Maybe you were being too self-centered and invalidated his feeling too, not just him.

Sometimes he wasn't good with words when expressing himself and made you feel as if you weren't as popular as him, but you knew it was never his intention to hurt you like that. He had a heart and loved to use it.

Fighting over work should never be a reason to be miserable especially when it's how you both get your income.

"I-I understand," you lightly speak up, watching as his eyes light up by the sound of your now calm voice filling his ears. "I just want you to know that it didn't make me feel good-"

"Of course it wouldn't make you feel good, I was being horrible," Pedro intercepted, pulling you into a tight hug and landing his face in your neck. "And if I wasn't thousands of miles away I would totally spoil you with kisses and chocolates as my sorry."

"Chocolates are still in favor," you joke and feel him softly swat your bottom in disapproval.

Pulling away, he leans his face closer to yours and plants a sweet kiss upon your lips before backing up an inch and whispering softly, "I love you, you know that right?"

Smiling, you slowly nod and surprise him with a deeper kiss before answering him back with a familiar, "I love you, too."

"You better," he smirks, pulling his body on top of yours, hearing your light squeaks once your back hit the mattress and his lips snuck their way into the crook of your neck.

"Did you end up getting chocolates?" Andrew immediately questioned once you finished your long recollection of memories.

"That's not important," Florence rolled her eyes.

"I mean he did promise her it."

Chuckling at his curiosity, it amused you how focused he was about some candy. "Yes, he did- for like a month and then I got over them."

"Understandable," Andrew replied, looking down at his lap.

Florence jumped over him, making herself sit closer to you as he winced at her sudden movements. "Then what happened?! I mean, there had to be more right?"

"My god woman, I hope you're not working for TMZ," Andrew joked.

She shushed him before leaning closer to you, signaling you to continue on with your memories. "After that fight, things became pretty normal again. We would call each other with far more energy than before and he would even fly back home often to keep our communication strong."

"And how long did that last?"

Frowning, you took a small breath. "Like three months- then we started fighting more."

"Over?"

Rubbing your face, you groaned. "He went back to lacking energy! But that's not even the worst part."

"Please don't tell me he cheated," Andrew begged, covering his eyes with his hands while pulling a sorrow look. "I would never be able to look at him the same."

"I don't know if he did cheat- but I did find out two months before we ended things that he stayed the night at his exes."

Loudly gasping, the company you had began freaking out with their jaws dropping- literally. Florence angrily furrowed her brows, "you've got to be kidding? How is that allowed in a relationship?- It's not!"

Crossing your legs, you shrug as a way to answer her. You really did wonder what was going through his head when he did that. Sadly, you couldn't believe a word he said after you found out what he did.

Maybe that's why you were fine with ending things- because the trust was slowly disappearing.

"Not to mention he would always be with her and ditch plans with me," you form a tight smile, trying not to make things awkward but it was too late.

Who could possible hear this and not feel embarrassed for you? Classic move on his part to follow the 'being friends with my ex is okay' stereotype, but it only left you feeling unwanted and flawed.

Were you not good enough to be in his arms all those times he ditched you for her? And why couldn't he tell you what was really going on- unless he was truly hiding something unspeakable.

"Spill the beans."

Hearing a door slam, you jump up in a daze. You could feel sleep still linger on your body as you crank your neck to the side, capturing the bright '12:47 pm' located on top of your nightstand.

Slowly yanking your body up, you don't stretch as you hurry out of your room to the living room in search of the mysterious person who was either your missing boyfriend or an intruder.

Catching sight of his bright yellow t-shirt as he opens the refrigerator, you could feel your body boil up. "Where have you been? You snuck out last night without even telling me- do you even understand how worried I was?!"

Watching as he gradually turns his head to face yours, Pedro closes the fridge before leaning against the kitchen counter- completely relaxed despite your current state.

"I was out with friends," he declared, grinning to try and take pressure off from you- it didn't work. "I'm sorry, I will tell you next time. I didn't mean to worry you, my love."

Placing your hands on your hips, it pains you that you secretly don't believe a word he's saying. Normally, if this were the case, he would text you if you were sleeping or call you in the morning to inform you with what he'd done.

He did neither one.

Maybe you should test him? Ask him questions and see if he'll freeze up?

"And who were you with?"

He smiled, grabbing a cup from the pantry while easily answering, "Diego and Oscar- we had a couple of drinks and Oscar thought it would be best I stay the night."

Nodding swiftly, you examine him to see if there were any signs of him lying- there weren't. Fuck, you forgot he was an actor. It's literally his job to control his emotions! "And why didn't you call or at least send a simple text?"

After hearing your words, Pedro sends you a small smile before gently placing his cup down. Walking up to you, he opens his arms. "Baby, is that why you're so upset? Because I didn't call?"

Before you could answer, he engulfs you in his arms before swaying you both around. Feeling vibrations as he let out light giggles, you instantly dropped any suspicions you may have had because he had to tell the truth- he would never lie to you.

It's surreal how easily you could throw any convictions out the window when he touched you. It's like he jogged your memory.

"Well, why didn't you at least text?"

Removing his head from your neck, he squeezes you waist and sends you an amused smirk . "Because I was insanely drunk and if I would've used my phone it probably would have resulted in me leaving you hundreds of drunk voicemails confessing my love for you."

"And that's bad?"

He chuckled, shaking his head before pinching your side. "No, but it sure as hell is annoying."

Standing up straighter, you cautiously nod at his answer and watch as he lovingly smiled down at you. "Okay, I believe you."

"Did you really believe him?" Andrew asked.

"I call bullshit," Florence confidently declares, strong on her view that Pedro was not an honest person.

"Let me finish the story!"

Loud footsteps could be heard near your hallway as you stood behind the oven, trying your best to not burn these damn chocolate chip cookies.

Such a basic recipe yet so complex- it was truly aggravating.

"Y/n? Where are you?!" you heard you assistant squeal from a distance.

Trying to properly put your mitten on, you murmur a small "kitchen" before preparing yourself to open the oven. The amount of times you burned yourself thinking it was cool enough not to wear protection-

Point is- always wear protection.

Opening the oven door, you pull the tray of freshly baked cookies towards you as the footsteps became clearly audible. Right when the cookies were in your grip and being lifted, you heard your assistant yelp-

"Pedro was caught leaving his ex's house two days ago."

Throwing yourself up into a standing position, you forget about the tray of cookies until you feel the burning sensation upon your left arm. You accidentally pulled the tray too close to you. "Ow!"

Instantly panicking, your assistant rushes to your side in support and grabs a towel to fill with ice. Pressing downwards on the wound, you wince at the pressure that was building.

"What the hell are you talking about?" you still question, extremely curious to uncover what this situation was.

His ex? That's absurd, he hasn't dated anyone in years when you first met. It's definitely not like he was in contact with them when you made it official, he was always firm when it came with communicating with past relationships.

That was a big no-no, especially when one of your ex's tried reaching out after your last movie dropped. Pedro made it very clear how unhappy he was when he made an appearance at your premiere- your boyfriend not daring to leave your side and even blocking your view whenever your ex had the chance to gawk you up close.

At the time, people thought Pedro only attended because he was close with the director and has always been friendly with other actors. Little did they know he was being extra friendly with you behind the curtains.

"Someone snapped photos of him outside of her door! It looks like he just woke up, too." Grabbing the phone from her hands, you pull it closer to your face and watch what the screen uncovered.

There he was, your boyfriend of two-years smiling brightly as he steps outside her door in the clothes he wore the night before. The same ones he manipulated you with about being with Diego and Oscar that night.

Not just that, but peering on the side of the door was indeed his tall, beautiful ex who definitely aged like fine wine. Hell, she was gorgeous and everybody knew that.

And the fact that they broke up due to their long distance, at the time, did not help this situation. Now that they lived a few cities away, what now? Were you just a doormat he could walk all over and eventually throw away whenever he wanted something new?

Placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, you refuse to take your eyes off the screen as your assistant begins speaking. "Did you know he slept over?" Glancing up, she takes your downcast face as an answer and swiftly pulls you in a tight hug. "Oh no, I'm so sorry."

You were sorry for yourself, too. How could he lie right to your face so easily knowing he was doing it- intentionally. And the most fucked up part was he probably knew you would believe him- just like all the other times you did.

"I saw that picture!" Andrew exclaimed, bewildered at his recollection. "I thought the paparazzi caught him lacking after a hook-up- damn, I wish I would've known you were together sooner."

"Same, I would have unfollowed him," Florence added. "And nobody would've known it was because of you- since you two never been public."

Forcing a smile, you give her a tiny nudge on the arm. "Gee, thanks for being so considerate."

"Continue!"

"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before your flee.

Let's just say, things were pretty...eventful once you discovered his scheme.

For starters, after bawling your eyes out on your poor assistant's shoulder, she made her departure in order to clean up the spare bedroom she offered you to take if you weren't comfortable staying at your own place.

You accepted.

Once she was out the door, you fled to your bedroom and grabbed any suitcase close by and began stuffing it to the brim, not caring how disorganized it was professing as you reached for more clothes.

You were almost done packing your second bag full of makeup and bathroom necessities when you heard your front door open. Jumping up, you felt your eyes widen once you heard your name being chanted on by your boyfriend. "Y/n?!"

"Fuck," you whispered to yourself, drastically glancing around your now messy bathroom to make changes to your plan- only take things you really need.

Seconds pass and you find yourself zipping your bag and rushing out the door, that was until your body roughly collided with another- causing you to drop your belongings and land on the floor. Groaning, you hesitantly rise, immediately finding your boyfriend's body nearing yours as he pleads to help you off the ground.

"Baby, I'm sorry! I didn't see you coming out," he apologizes, using his fingertips to clasp your forearms to level you. "Look, I need to tell y-"

"Get off of me," you grit, forcibly slapping his palms off you, causing him to cease and stare stunned. He has never seen you once be this aggressive. Sure, you would reject his embrace whenever you two fought here and there, but slap? Not ever.

Brushing roughly past him, you gripped your larger suitcase by its handles and made a beam to the closest exit. You couldn't be around him, not when thoughts of him being unfaithful constantly drowned your head.

A strong tug of your makeup bag made you halt your movements, not by choice, as Pedro made sure to tighten his grip to prevent you from leaving. Glancing down at his now white, clenched hands, you glare. "Let go."

Shaking his head, he stared you down- irritated that you would just pack up and leave so quickly without even hearing his side of the story. Yes, he should have told you what really happened that night- but he knew how you'd react.

It was better to keep it sealed until he was ready to unveil- or so he thought.

"You let go," he hissed, raising one of his hands and smacking yours with it. You hate how much stronger he still was while only using one hand while you had two- fuck his strength and your poor muscles.

Groaning, you dig your feet onto the ground harder as you continue your tug-a-war charade with your selfish boyfriend who didn't seem to believe space was an understandable coping mechanism after he shattered your small heart.

"Fine," you yelp, shoulders falling slightly as he eases his grip- still holding on though. "We both let go on 3."

Tilting his head, he suddenly grew suspicious by your random middle ground. He knew you well enough to know you don't give up that easily, especially when he's fully sure, by your bolting efforts, you saw the picture. "How do I know you won't just run off after?"

"You're faster and stronger than me, you'll catch me eventually."

Internally agreeing, he knew you had a point. Even if you did escape, your little legs weren't going to get you far- he knows from all the times he tackled you down after you countlessly would steal his food.

"1," you begin, eyeing him to see if he would follow.

"2," he stared at you back, cautiously watching your every step.

Taking a deep breath, you count again. "3!" With that, you release your grip from your bag and watch as he still clutches on to the strap. "What the hell- we agreed on 3 we'd both let go!"

Nervously chuckling, he placed the bag on the ground and sheepishly smiled at you. He was glad to see you finally calming down. "Sorry, I didn't think you would actually do it."

Sending him an annoyed glance, he scratches the back of his neck for assuming you wouldn't follow your word. "Trust me, I always tell the truth."

Wincing at your cold tone, he frowns by your hard demeanor. "About that- I was going to tell you-"

Softly placing a hand over your head, you release a sound of discomfort and miss the way his eyes wander in curiosity.

"Can we talk about this after I take my supplements? I am not feeling too good," you cut him off, slowly touching your forehead as you watch his concern grow. "I forgot to take them this morning."

"You know you get bad migraines when you don't take them," he declared, sighing as he raised his hand and began softly rubbing your temple in ease.

He believed you were being serene because you weren't livid and allowed him to stop you from leaving- how wrong he was.

"I know but I had a crammed morning-"

"This is why we need to hire someone to walk Leia, we don't have enough time majority of the week!" he exhales, making you stare at the floor for the point taken. But there was no way you'd hire someone to walk your dog, that's ridiculous and a waste of money. "We'll talk after, let me grab them- stay here."

Sadly nodding, you allow him to flee towards your bathroom in search for your medicine. Peering you head a few inches to the side, you wait till the coast is clear before slowly, but firmly, grabbing your once lost bag and dashing out of your bedroom.

"I almost forgot about Leia," you muttered to yourself, instantly feeling bad at the thought of how quick you were to forget your baby. How terrible of a mother were you.

And what even was more mind blowing was how Pedro didn't catch your innocent acting. Truthfully, he must be trying to be extra helpful so you would believe him. Too late.

Finding your white corgi near the kitchen, you whistle lowly for her to follow as you peddled your way to your garage. "C'mon doggie, if daddy notices our escape plan he won't let us leave that easil-"

"Y/n?!"

Jaw dropping, you shoot a glance of panic to your dog, who only blankly stares back, before rushing to your parked car. "Just like Batman and Robin- now jump in," you hushed, opening the back seat so you could not only throw your bags back there- but also your tiny-legged corgi who struggles at first, but eventually makes it in.

Once you jumped into your seat and turned on the car, you catch a breathless Pedro rushing out through the door to your side. "Fuck."

"You tricked me!"

"You slept with another woman, asshole!" you yell back, glaring as he rolled his eyes- outraged by how unreasonable you were becoming. All he wanted to do was sit you down and have a normal conversation about this, but instead you kept running away.

Once again, he thinks you need to work on your communication skills.

"You used your failing health to your advantage- how sick are you?" he yelped, offended.

"They were gummy supplements!"

Touching your car door, he sternly peers at you as you quickly lock your doors in case he tried opening it. "I did not sleep with another woman," he started, inhaling strongly before releasing it. "Why would I do that when I am in a committed relationship? Huh? Do you think I am capable of cheating?"

Shrugging innocently, you pull a sarcastic face. "Not sure, I do know you're capable of lying- maybe infidelity is the cherry on top?"

Mouth gapping, he sends you a look of hurt and for a second you feel terrible by your choice of words. In your heart, you wanted to take it back- but your head thought otherwise.

"I would never be unfaithful to you- that's not who I am," he firmly states, feeling like absolute shit that you would even accuse him of being with another woman when you were all he thought about every single second of the day.

Dryly chuckling, you nod along to his words. He feels his heart ache, as if hundreds of knives jabbed through the delicate muscle by your painful mien. Did you really think that lowly of him?

"That's who you are to me now."

Once those words flew out of your mouth and he was able to process it clearly, he paused. Whole body turning stiff and cold, he scolded you profoundly before fiercefully charging towards your car door and pounding for entrance.

It was like a nerve was touched and he was not willing to be forgiving anymore. You struck him hard and he knew you meant it out of pure anger- not genuinely, but his awareness soon became replaced with treachery and he so badly wanted you to pay for your foul words.

"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before fleeing.

Mentally checking off your items before departure, you inhale sharply before lowering down your car's mirror and pressing your garage remote- allowing the door to gradually rise and Pedro to panic.

Cursing in his head, he couldn't let you drive away or else he might never see you for days and he couldn't bear the thought of you moping around in agony without at least hearing from him- the man in the picture- what actually happened that night.

Pressing on the lever and angling down to reverse, you nervously press on the gas and allow your car to drift back as your poor dog watched through the backseat his dad embarrassingly urging you to not go.

You prayed the neighbors couldn't hear a thing, if the cops came you're sure you would never go out in public for at least six months.

Realizing that it was now or never, you see from the corner of your eye a figure running towards the back of your car before a loud thump was heard.

Shakily, pressing on the brakes and putting your car on park, you jump out in horror by the sight of legs near your back tires.

You hit him.

"Shit!" you gasped, involuntarily sprinting- as if your body just knew how to react- and dropping down to your boyfriend's lifeless body-

"You ran him over?!" Andrew and Florence shrieked, interrupting your storytelling, causing you to glare and shush them.

"Shut the fuck up- it's getting to the interesting part!"

Hugging his body tightly, you could feel your face began to fall down and your body slowly begin to tremble. In a matter of seconds, you just knew your garage wasn't going to be a pretty sight to see.

Hitching your breath, you run your hands to your boyfriend's chest and shake him softly in hopes he would open his eyes- he didn't. With tears flushing down your face, you sniff as you grip onto him harder. "Please w-wake up," you begin, trying your best to keep your touch on him but you were a jittering mess. Not being able to stay still, you press your ear over his chest to see his he still had a pulse.

Sighing in relief, he did.

Squeezing his face, you frown as his expressionless face stills. Realizing he might have passed out over a concussion, your lips begin to tremble as you finally breakdown in tears and cradle him.

Leaning over from his side, you bend your body and embrace his head into your neck. "I am such a-a fucking idiot," you squeak, your eyes shutting as you don't have the power to keep them open. "I-I love you- I should've just stayed and t-talked-!"

Cutting yourself off, you ironically feel like the lifeless one despite your literal unconscious boyfriend being in your arms at the moment. Bitch, you really had the nerve. Swiftly kissing his cheek, you plunge yourself into his neck and cushion him with your body- being as fragile as ever when handling him.

Quivering in misery, you keep a strong grip onto him before you felt pressure along your side. "It's been minutes and you still haven't called 911? I could've been dead by now."

Screaming, you instantly drop the figure once on top of you and force your thighs to back up, causing you to sit perplexed on the concrete floor.

Glancing back up, you find your boyfriend brightly grinning your way, using his arms to hold his upper portion up as you looked back in confusion. Didn't you hit him?

"I was my own stunt double for some scenes," he speaks up, smiling to himself proud as you continued staying still, confused as to what had just happened. "As long as you have the right mentality- you can take a pounding."

Registering where he was going with this, you scoff and quickly allow your feet to hit the ground. Following after you, Pedro jumps at your unpleased sight and watches as you cooly open your back door to let your dog jump out before marching towards the door to your house.

"Wait? Are you mad at me for that, too?" He calls out, tilting his head in question and proceeds to get his answer by the slamming of the door behind you. "Never mind."

Angrily storming through your hallway, you accidentally run into the wooden desk placed against the wall. "Ugh!" you scream, turning around and giving it one hard kick before making your way towards your destination- the kitchen.

"What did the desk ever do to you?" Pedro mumbled to himself, stopping right by it once you were out of sight and fixing it back up against the wall, making sure the books settled on top were nested properly before going after you.

"So that's why one of the legs is chipped? I noticed that-"

"Shut up, Andrew."

"Sorry, go on."

Finding you near the blacked marbled kitchen bar, Pedro ceased his movements. To be honest, he was nervous to confront you. Not only did you find out he slept at his ex girlfriend's house, but he made you believe he was dead.

This was not going to end well.

"How could you do this to me?" He hears you ask, you back being in his peripheral view as you leaned your body over the counter, hands gripping the ends roughly.

"Do what?" he idiotically responds back, mentally slapping himself for having the audacity to question something he surely knows.

Slowly turning around, capturing his soft yet worried eyes, he catches onto your tear ones and breaks down on the inside. "Tell me the truth." you gulp, averting your eyes to your feet as you sense him bobble his head. "Did you sleep with her?"

Choking on air, he frantically shakes his head in dismay, not believing you would actually think that despite the past half an hour of him comprehending that you might so. Maybe he just couldn't believe it would ever come out of your mouth- but this whole situation made him nauseous.

Steadily finding his balance, he inched towards your frail body as you kept your contact with the floor strong, not daring to move it even when the sight of his shoes play in your mind. "Honey," he lowly calls out, lifting his fingers to your chin and hastily bringing your vision to his own. "No- I did not sleep or engage in any sexual nor romantic activity with her."

"Then why did you go to her house and not tell me?!" you cried, nudging his hand off your face, him immediately aiming towards your waist to still have you near. "Why would you do this to me? Why would you sleep over when you know how I would feel?"

"I can't tell you," he confesses, whispering softly. Feeling your face fall, you erupt into tears again as you lift up your palms to hide behind them.

Hiccuping, your hands twitch as they support your weight and force you to fall on top of the counter and continue watering your tears there. Everything was unfair and he couldn't seem to realize how bad your fights have progressed throughout the months.

"If you really care about me," you whimper, still behind your hands as he rubs circles on your waist. "You would consider my feelings and understand why I should know what you did with her."

Sighing, he releases you waist and rubs his forehead in frustration. Pedro wasn't the type to hide things in relationships. In fact, he was amazing when it came to expressing feelings and being honest while you were the same- but you typically took longer to reveal your troubles than he did.

But no matter how loyal he was to you, it wasn't his place to share someone else's business no matter who the association may be.

"I know, baby. I know- believe me," he whispers, pulling you in for a hug and lifting you off the counter as your sobs were felt among his chest. It broke his heart. "But I can't betray her, she needed me and trusted me to see her. I can't just deceive her."

"But you can do that to me?" you reply, catching him off guard as he shuts his eyes tightly by how accurate you were being. "It's okay, I understand."

"No," he shakes his head, groaning before staring you down. "You don't understand, hell- I don't understand this either. But what I need you to know is I did not kiss, flirt, wink, tease, or touch her in any sexual way. We did not have sex - there was no removing of any clothing-"

"Then why did you sleepover?!"

"She needed me," he simply replies, causing you to laugh ridiculy.

"I needed you and you left me," you spit out harshly, not believing how he could defend himself and think you would ever fine with it.

Grunting, he runs his hand over his hair before pouring all of his stress onto you. "What do you want me to do? I told you what happened- she needed me, I helped her, it took longer than expected so I fell asleep on the couch- do you want to touch my knotted back for proof? Because you can!"

"Why am I the one being yelled at?" you respond, watching his face fall in disappointment.

Staying in your position for a minute or two, you continued examining him as he did the same, not knowing where this was headed. That was until he motioned with his hand for you to move closer.

"Come here."

Furrowing your brows, you pause at his words. Did he think hugging was going to solve all of your problems- because it wasn't. "No-"

Feeling his arms glide up along your upper body and finally wrapping around your shoulders, he pressed you up against his chest into the warmest bear hug you might have engaged in.

It was...peaceful.

Sighing, he felt your body soften by the touch. Relaxing, you closed your eyes as he made it his mission to not ease up on his grip. "I didn't do anything with her," he whispers, laying his face comfortably on your shoulder. "I promise, I love you."

Sadly, his confession made you break down more as tears flooded your face and your body fell upon his grip. Easily wrapping his palms on the back of your head, he cradled you tightly and never left your sight once the rest of that day and week.

And that's how that fight ended- with you trusting his sweet nothings and letting him take over your body with his hugs and kisses because he somehow made you believe him.

Every single time.

You wish you could have moved on from that topic that night as you allowed him to show you how much he loved you, but unfortunately that wasn't an option.

Especially when paparazzi exploited more pictures with him and his ex the following weeks later.

"And what about your last fight? You know- the one that ended things," Andrew started, making you halt. "What happened then?"

Quickly standing up, you brushed your sweatpants down before sending him a tight smile. Now that you talked about sad memories you hadn't really thought of in months, you knew the mention of your last fight would only break you.

You weren't ready to undergoing the same pain you felt that night.

"I didn't know these talks about my past would take a toll on me, but they have. I don't want to talk about it, but I appreciate the two of you checking up on me- I really do, but I think its time for me to take a shower and maybe nap- it's been a tiring day."

Feeling your discomfort, Florence and Andrew exchanged a weary glance before looking back up to you, hesitantly nodding. Probably an intense memory, they were determined not to mention it again unless you came forward.

"Alright- but give us a call if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just plain old company!" Florence smiled, wrapping her arms around you for a quick hug before pulling back. "We can even have a sleepover."

"Count me out on that one," Andrew joked, bending down to give you the same hug. "But for real, you can cry on my shoulder any time."

"Thanks," you giggle, soon following them towards your front door as they say goodbye to your dog before departing in their own cars.

What an emotional day it has been.

-

"Do I really have to go? It's no use- I already seen the film. I don't want to rewatch it," you whine as your manager hushes you.

Walking down the side of the theatre, you clutch onto the oversized, black leather jacket you were wearing as your manager and assistant walked on either side of you, directing to to the entrance of a random theatre in the city.

Since the Oscars, nothing has really changed. It's been about three weeks now and there wasn't chaos anymore- it seemed like news about that night had already faded.

Regularly, you did chat with Florence, Shailene, and Andrew on the phone- individually at times throughout your past weeks- but nothing too crazy.

You all had your busy schedules and your manager was still being as hardworking as ever trying to exploit more of you to the press and on the screen. Safe to say, every time she had news it would always be something impressive.

Except for today, when she proudly announced after barging into your house during breakfast that there was a new film premiere you had to attend.

It's not like you opposed the idea- but you watched the film when the production team invited you to their private screening. It would be useless watching it again.

But as persistent as ever, your manager claimed there would be great press and directors attending the public's premiere, following with "an Oscar-nominated actress like you must make themself remembered."

As dramatic as always- but at least she was highly active in your career.

She did everything to make you get noticed, especially when you were at your lowest point mentally after your breakup.

Now onto past relationships, you hadn't heard any news regarding Pedro since you last saw him. Not that you wanted to, but for some reason he was still on your mind. Due to the fact you did sit with your friends ranting about your shared troubles, that's likely the reason.

But all jokes aside, you seriously can't stop thinking about him.

However, you were too scared to admit this to anyone. You tried telling Florence, but every time you mentioned his name she would immediately disregard him, pissed by how he treated you.

Which you loved that she had your back, but you needed someone else to have his own- oddly.

Maybe it was your head deep in thoughts that revealed how you were feeling, but your assistant seemed to notice that you weren't okay- mentally.

After checking in and finding a small crowd, you accepted that maybe most of the audience were in their seats already despite the film starting in almost an hour. Nudging you once your manager left to find one of the producers, you glanced at her as she motioned you to move towards the wall.

"What's up?"

She made a face, practically laughing at your question before continuing on. "Why don't you tell me 'what's up?' The whole ride here you've been silent and I know it's not because you were tired- you slept all afternoon, what's really up?"

Chuckling, you roll her eyes at how nosy she was being- but you knew she only wanted to help you. After working together for years, it was a ritual both of you performed: don't let the other be sad.

Surprisingly, it worked every time. She would hide you from people who upset you while you let her have more vacation days whenever she felt the same.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're thinking about him, huh."

Eyes widening, you shake your head quickly as she laughs at your poor attempt of denying her idea. But she knew right from the moment you got lost in your head that he was the one to blame.

"Don't worry, I won't tell," she whispered loudly, causing you to shove her as she laughed louder.

"Shut up, someone might hear you," you hiss, watching as she tried holding her breath to stop herself from cackling again. She just looked like a fish in need of water.

"Don't think about him then," she teased. "If it's making you lost in your thoughts! Wait- why is he in your head? I thought you hated him?"

Coughing, you shake your head. "I don't hate him- I could never."

"Never?" she raises a brow in shock. "I think we're seeing some progress here. You're falling back in loveeeee with him."

"No way," you scoffed as she grinned heavily. "I'm just thinking about the Oscars since that was the last work-related event I've been to since today and you know- he was there so he ended up in my mind...for a little."

She slowly nods, teasing a smug as makes it pretty clear she did not believe one word you said. Your assistant has seen everything, so she is quite familiar with your thoughts regarding Pedro.

She knows when your happily, sadly, angrily, and crazily daydreaming about him. In this case, she's stuck between happily and crazily- not seeming to find any hints of fury and sorrow through your expressions.

But definitely warmth and frustration- all due to him not being able to leave your head.

"When are you just going to admit you still love him?" She blurts out, causing you to snap your heard towards her. "Everybody sees it, you obviously have a soft spot for him if you let him be near you."

"Near me? He's never near me," you laugh. "And I never show signs I want him back, I don't. I made it clear for months now after perfectly avoiding him at all costs."

"Yeah, but he's still on your mind- that must mean something," she declares, causing your small grin to fall into a tight line.

That must mean something.

Did it?

Shaking that thought away, you reject her idea. "It means he traumatized me."

"It means you're in denial and scared to be with him again," she replied, placing her hands on her hips. "Look, I just know you two are meant to be. Next time you see him, talk to him. Tell him how much you care for him- even if you don't want to admit it in a lovey-dovey way. It can be friendly!"

Giving her a strange look, she lowers her energy quickly before looking around the room, making sure no one saw how enthuastic she became.

"You get the point!" she rolls her eyes. "Just be nice, maybe the both of you can form a friendship or just drift apart knowing there's no hard feelings."

"But there is hard feelings," you declared, pointing out the obvious.

There is a reason why you two broke up, like there is also a reason why you despise him. It all comes down to history and actions, which you've both experienced- which is why, again, you broke up.

"Just..." she started, thinking about it for a second before sending you a sincere glance. "-give it a shot. If you don't hate him, like you said, it wouldn't be terrible to be civil."

Slowly nodding, you understand where she's coming from. This tension between Pedro and you was getting old, and the fact it was only you adding fuel to the non-existent fire since you've broken up is sad.

Especially when all he's been around you was sweet and considerate of your feelings, leaving you alone when he felt your energy- except for that one night, but you have to admit that was your fault for riling him up.

The roughness of heels came marching your way, forcing the both of you to instantly lift your head- finding your manager striking a fake breaming grin with two men beside her. She was trying too hard.

"Girls! This is Greg and Shawn- the writers of the film!" she exclaimed, fluttering her lashes rapidly as both men awkwardly raised a hand, waving it.

Releasing a tiny chuckle, you do the same as your assistant walks closer, sticking out her hand to fully gain their attention and introduce herself.

What can you say- she was a charmer.

Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, your manager slightly pulls you closer to the strangers and strangely bobbles her head- preparing whatever gibberish was about to spit out of her talkative mouth.

"Y/n- the boys thought it would be a great idea to sit in the vip selection among other A-listers- isn't that just lovely? We are very grateful for your offer-"

Boys? Oh god- now she was bonding for her hopeful chances of getting a call for an audition.

Compelling a sweet smile, you feel the only possible response you could give them was a meaningless 'thank you so much' after she literally put you on blast to communicate more. The funniest part about this situation was- you already watched the film!

Clearly you never met these writers- but instead the director himself! Your manager should be satisfied enough with that.

"Would you look at the time,-" Greg- you believe, softly gasps while raising his arm to examine the tiny apple watch planted. "Guests are probably filling up in their seats by now, terribly sorry- but we should probably go."

"I hadn't realized how close we were to showtime- we certainly must continue off our conversation after the film is over!" Shawn proclaims, making your manager nod far too quickly. "I look forward to meeting again."

With that, the two men inclined their motions of farewells before taking off down a dimmed hall, likely finding the exact destination set to premiere their comedic film.

Sighing, you send daggers to your managers who barely blinks before coughing out a swift, "What?"

"You really couldn't wait till after the film was over to sweet talk them?"

Dramatically rolling her eyes at your annoyance, she waves you off by your sudden introversion. It was her job to throw her best compliments about you too them, and she knew you were still too young to understand that everything she did was for a cost.

You.

"C'mon grumpy, let's locate the theatre before you start whining that your feet hurt, too."

Feeling your mouth slightly drop from her remark, you hear your assistant cackle right beside you, using her right palm to hold in her giggles while you mentally prepared for what comeback to throw her way.

You got nothing.

Huffing, your legs followed hers as she guided the two of you towards the same hall the men approached minutes before. The closer you've walked, the larger the capacity gathered around.

For such a low-budget film, it sure did gain quite the crowd.

As the rolling of the ending credits flooded the screen once you sat the last two and a half hours trying to act as if you didn't know what was coming next, you wish you had it in you to say the second time made up for the first- but it didn't.

There we have it, tonight was just not your night and endlessly enough- you couldn't blame it on some silly excuse of watching the same film over again.

Not even your assistant's sneaky offerings of her red licorice lifted your blues- and that speaks enough volume to say the least.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" the whole-heartedly voice of your manager's voice filled your ears as the three of you sat in the same lobby as before, still not finding a way to escape a cold room.

Oh how you abominated the sharp hits of the air conditioning- it frankly made coming to the theaters a horror unless layers of clothing and a blanket was tagged along.

"Why can't we leave? The film is done and people are walking out."

"We still have to talk to Shawn and Greg!" your manager declared, presenting a look of pure determination to get her way with their levels of skill.

Groaning, you throw your head in absolute exhaustion. Fairly, if your manager hadn't had made such an early visit during the morning hours you're sure you would've been in a better mood.

It was like the more you interacted, the less energy you had to give.

In order to survive the next few hours, you needed your phone or who knows how your fake laughters will sound.

And you call yourself an actress.

Sliding your hand to the back of your pockets, you wait for the feel of your large iphone to surface- but that moment never comes. Swiftly, you check your leather jacket ones just in case you slipped it there without realizing.

You didn't.

Anxiously glancing towards your assistant, your trembling hands find her arm. "Have you seen my phone? It's not on me."

Examining your hands before meeting your eyes, she shrugs it off. "Relax, no need to have a nervous breakdown- I'm sure you left it in the car with your bag-"

"No, I had it on me during the previews."

"We did go to the bathroom, too- why not just go check those two places?" she suggests. Concerned filled you, hoping nobody was capable of actually stealing your phone- it would be such a hassle getting another one. "I'll check the bathroom, you check our seats."

Agreeing, the two of you sneakily escape your manager when her back was turned, unpleasantly speed walking down the familiar hall before parting ways to your needed locations.

Opening the thick, black doors and striding up the long runway, your eyes are met with the same darkened seating area you were in less than twenty minutes ago.

Then and there, you use this desertion in power- running towards the middle rows consider 'vip' and begin your inspection. Fuck, you wish your had some form of light to help- you couldn't see shit.

Sliding your fingers among the seat, you lift up the cushions in hopes it mysteriously pops up, but all you find is pieces of popcorn and gum glued down.

Gross.

Feeling your eyes begin to water, you were sure you were seconds away from crying like a little kid over the loss of your beloved possession before you heard a deep voice call out for your attention.

"Is this yours? I heard it ringing when I came back in and- uh," the person froze, not having the ability to finish off their sentence as you gradually lifted your body off the floor into their view.

Hopelessly praying the stranger was regarding your phone, your eyes search for their hands first and there it was- your phone!

The corners of your mouth lift up, as well as the creases around your eyes as you internally cheer for your discovery. However, it faltered once you noticed a familiar tattoo laying on one of their palms. Moving your eyes up, you're sure your smile completely disappears once you recognize those brown eyes.

How did you not catch onto his voice from down there?

"Uh- yeah- that's mine," you nervously reply, choking on your words that probably made you sound like you were about to lose consciousness by how strung you were, and hesitantly reach out for the device.

Pedro quietly lets you grab it, not saying one word as your hands collide for a split second before the object was back in your own. You didn't miss the name that appeared on the lit up screen when touched- your assistant must have tried calling you to see if the phone would ring in the bathroom.

Smart.

Avoiding awkward farewells, Pedro swiftly turns around and makes his way down the theatre stairs, not daring to continue on with the barely existing conversation you shared. He's leaving, that fast?

Thinking about all your past interactions, he would always try to chat with you- even when you did give him the coldest shoulder of all time- because that's who he was: kind.

But now he's...walking away?

"Hey- uhm," you begin, following clumsily after him, almost tripping on one of the steps as he reaches his final steps and doubtfully turns your way. Once you stood another step ahead of him, you feel that swirling feeling in your stomach again.

You were nervous- you've never felt this way around him during your breakup- never.

Adjusting your arms inside your jacket, a small smile is extracted out of you as you watch his stay flat. He did not look interested one bit and it frightened you to death. "Thanks for finding my phone- I-I was really scared there for a minute."

Not reacting to your little laugh at the end, he replied- dull. "I didn't know it was yours, I would have given it to guest services if so."

Ouch, you're sure you're hurt expression was recognizable on the outside as much as it pained you on the inside. He really did not want to talk to you, even when you're showing your appreciation.

He really was over you.

"I know," you squeak out, not missing the way his eyes tiredly scanned your own as his body stood there stiff as ever. "I just wanted to thank you, that's all- you saved me a lot of trouble."

Coldly laughing from that, he nods. "I'm sure I have."

Your body tingled with rage as he carelessly ignored your warmth and threw jabs in return. "What's with the attitude? I'm doing nothing wrong here- I'm trying to be friendly."

Inching up, his face presents a sullen one and you immediately feel intimated by the height he owned and used as his advantage. Just the first few seconds before he spoke alone made you feel his displeasure. "And what about all those times I was friendly? I received shit so forgive me for allowing you to experience the same treatment you give others."

Loss for words, you were speechless and didn't know what to say back. For one, you were alarmed by his hard demeanor he gifted to you. Second, humiliation soared throughout as he called out your imperfections.

In other words, he wanted you to know you were a bitch.

"And I take that back but-"

Pedro was about to burst out laughing in front of your face, but he held himself together in sake of your feelings. Can you believe that, despite the misery he still cared for your state of mind. "Taking back isn't apologizing."

Sneering, you cross your arms as his eyebrows furrowed in irritation. "Apologize for what? You were the one who fucked my life over."

Scoffing, he shakes his head in vexation by your lack of empathy- as always. "Countless of times we would contemplate our faults and how we could move on and now you're discounting your wrongdoings- typical."

Pedro did not want to have another unpleasant argument with you, especially in a public setting again, and decided it was best to just walk away. If he kept his mouth shut, he wouldn't make this altercation worse.

Meeting his broad back, you lightly gasp as he ignores you altogether and makes his leave far too early for your liking. Charging towards him, you feel his back solidify once your fingers yank him to a halt.

You were not done with this conversation, but you did know once you got home you were definitely going to regret how toxic you were radiating in the room.

"Typical? What do you mean by that?"

"Knock it off and let me walk away, y/n," Pedro warns, still facing his back towards you after blocking your attempts of moving him. "We both know how badly this will end."

You know, but for some reason you don't want him to leave. Was that so bad?

"No, I wanna hear exactly what you have to say about me- maybe it'll make me recognize the ignorant ego I have."

"You're talking out in anger, you're trying to cause a fire that I won't let you ignite," he simply replies, his eyes still not found by his hidden appearance.

Very poetic.

Scowling profoundly, you don't realize what you're doing until you're finally met with his provoked display after. Stalking around his body, you stand in front of him and jab a finger towards his chest. "You're preventing me from bettering myself, isn't that what you always wanted?"

Leaning down until his face with inches away from yours, you make out his hard features clearly now. His face expressed discomfort as his eyes creased while lifting- even his lips stayed hard as a rock. "I'm going to tell you one more time, let me go."

Ignoring his cold shoulder, he inhaled a sharp breath before taking matters into his own hands. You don't want to listen? Fine. But he wasn't going to let you drag him into this any further.

Right as you push another finger up against him, your wrist was taken and roughly pushed down by your side as Pedro's body practically belted against yours. "Get off me!"

"Not until you stop fucking around," he grunted, immediately widening his eyes in realization. He knows you don't like when he casually curses directly to you- even when he doesn't harm. "Sorry- I-I meant when you stop playing around."

Praying that a smile doesn't escape you, it made you feel some type of way capturing his manners and how even though you two were on rocky terms- he still had some respect for you.

"Why are we even fighting right now?" you sigh, slowly softening your muscles in forfeit.

"You tell me- it sounds like you want my attention," he casually replied, releasing your hands and stepping back an inch. "Considering you won't let me leave."

"I'm just trying to have a normal, polite conversation! Is that so wrong?"

Softly laughing, he shakes his head in disappointment. "You don't get it."

Scrunching your face, you become lost by his words. "Get what?"

Scanning the wall before meeting your eyes again, Pedro motions his hands between the two of you. "What do you think will come out of us having a conversation? Acquaintances? Maybe a friendship?"

Thinking about it for a second, you feel your head eventually nod as he squeezes his eyes shut in return. Was that not what he's been trying to do- end in good terms? "It's what's healthy for us."

"Us?!" Pedro groans, sending you a tired gaze that had you weak to the knees. "There is no 'us' anymore. You made that perfectly clear after causing a scene last month in front of your friends."

"I didn't plan on that happening a-"

"I'm even letting go the bigger scene you caused inside the after party- isn't that enough to understand why I feel this way?" he adds on, frustrated that you would think otherwise.

You were the one who caused the attention and brought a bad look on his name. He should be shouting at you like you would have done to him if the roles were reversed.

"I'm not saying we should get back together, all I want-"

"-is a friendship? Some sort of relation that won't make us strangers?" he interjects, causing you to stay silent. That was all he needed to understand what you really wanted: not to let him go. "Look, we had our history, but I don't think it's good we keep in contact anymore."

You swear you felt all air leave your body as your face felt cold. Was he breaking up with you- in life itself?

"I-uhm don't- I don't understand," you cough, scared to make a bigger fool out of yourself. You're sure you probably look like a ghost by how much color you've lost since his recent reveal and again- you were grateful this room was dim. "Why can't we at least be friends? Not even that- why can't we at least know we have each other in our lives? Why end up as strangers?"

"What do you mean? We hadn't talked to each other in almost a year till last month! We basically are strangers," he exclaimed, causing you to look down at your feet as your heart ached.

He wasn't wrong- you just hadn't realized he's been right. And to blame was you, not him. You pushed him away in the first place, he was only kind enough to oblige.

And it was surely pathetic how now you wanted him back in your life, even if it meant not even talking just to assure yourself he still had your back.

He didn't.

"Y/n..." he sadly muttered, trying his best not to hurt your feelings as you were still continued to stay downwards- not wanting to disclose more hurt. "You didn't even say happy birthday to me, how can you be considered a friend? Friends don't do that, not to me at least."

This caused you to glance back up to him, disagreeing immediately as to what he was trying to get at. Of course you knew it was his birthday, you celebrated two with him in the past! "I didn't want to make things weird-"

"You never do but still avoid me like the plague and breakdown whenever I'm too close to your liking. I'm sorry for trying to do what's best and leave us in the past,-" he explains, closing his eyes in discomfort, "-but I can't keep letting this go on. I'm too old to be going back and forth as if this is some high school relationship- it's not."

High school relationship- you never knew simple three words could have you shrinking in guilt.

"And I know things will be easier for you when the time comes- I won't be around to nag you," Pedro tries to lighten up the mood but you can't break the line upon your lips. You were emotionless and it made Pedro upset.

Why would he be upset? You finally deserved learning your lesson after treating him as if he was nothing to you. But despite all your flaws, he still cared for you.

He cares so much that he's willing to let you go so you can do better things in life- without him.

Trying to find the right words to say, you give up. There isn't much to discuss now that he wants nothing to do with you.

You fucked up- for real this time.

In fact, you shouldn't even be hurt- you wanted this. Or at least that's what you thought before last month when he wasn't on your mind 24/7.

Maybe it was the way he begged for your forgiveness after not seeing each other for so long that made you realize how badly you adored him nearby.

Maybe it was the attention he was giving you after you continuously rejected his pleads, furthering the argument until he stormed off in the end.

And maybe you should've took his concluding estrangement announcement seriously before he left you last month.

But just like they say, you never know what you have until it's gone.

"I see," you quietly respond, slowly nodding as a faint grin forms among Pedro's lips, appreciating your cooperation over this mess. "Maybe it is best if we stray away from each other- you can even delete my number."

"I already have," he accidentally blurts out, not realizing how bad that sounds until he hears it himself and cringes. Your sufferable reaction didn't make things better.

"You know what," you fake a laugh, trying to calm your voice as you feel it about to crack any second. The tears were heading your way- you just knew it. "Fuck you."

Pedro's face falls, taken back by your inappropriate language. "Excuse me?"

Noticing your rushed attitude, he wanted to stop you and tell you everything was alright. That everything was going to be easy and how the two of you would get passed this.

But he knew he'd be lying.

"You heard me, fuck you," you casually slip out, scoffing as his eyes darken. "For someone who's so kind to others, I would have thought you would know what words were right to say."

"You're one to talk, sweetheart," he chuckled, staring at you in repulse. "Every time you talk you always have to neglect someone else, I'm fucking glad I don't have to witness that ever again."

"Me too, my family was right- you are a joke who wasted my time."

With that, you make your leave to have the chance of having the last word. Maybe if you left this room faster he would forget about your comment. You knew it was harsh but you didn't know what else to say.

You wanted him to hurt- but to what extent?

Your arm was instantly tugged as Pedro pulled you back, not letting his grip go as his face was still filled with resentment. "And your team was right, you are a bitch."

Freezing, you stare at him in shock as his face doesn't fall once. What the hell is he talking about? "Get away from me or else-"

"Or else what? Weren't you the one physically blocking me from leaving minutes ago? What has changed?" he tries to smirk, manipulating you into believing how ruthless he could be when really he was dying to tell you the act he was pulling. "Cat got your tongue?"

Your face felt hot with rage as you yanked your arm off his hand, catching him by surprise as you glared at him. "I'm so glad I never took you back, you're fucking pathetic."

"And I'm insanely glad you didn’t, saved thousands returning that fucking ring."

Those twelve words made you halt and even made Pedro speechless. By the staggered look planted on his face, you could tell he didn't mean to say that.

Ring? As in, an engagement ring?

Weakly failing to stand straight, you felt your voice crack. "You were going to propose?"

Shaking his head, he swiftly backed away. "I need to go." Before you could stop him, he was already out of the theatre and probably near larger gatherings of people that would only prevent you from talking about this more.

Holding your face with your hands, you couldn't even cry. You didn't know what to do, you were utterly lost for words.

If he was really going to propose like he hinted at, what meaning did your last fight have? Nothing made sense and you don't know how you could move on from this now that he wanted you out of his life completely.

Hearing doors open, you instantly averted your gaze in hopes he had come back in and planned to properly finish what he started.

Instead, you manager came barging in while gripping onto your assistant's wrist harshly.

"Where the hell have you been?! I've been looking for you everywhere and to find out your stupid assistant-"

"Don't you dare disrespect her," you sternly cut her off, watching as her face falters by your sudden tone. "If you're here to pester us some more, feel free to walk home."

Laughing in shock, your manager tilts her head at your rudeness. "Excuse me? It wasn't my fault your assistant wondered off. After everything I have done to protect you and your career you feel the need to throw me out-"

"Did she hurt you?" you cut her off, focusing on your assistant who has gone quiet. You notice the redness on her small wrists before she slowly nods, looking down in fear your manager would try something else.

"You're fired," you simply state, pushing past your frantic ex- manager as you lightly guide your assistant out the door.

You ignore the rage your ex- manager unveils as you make it back to the lobby. Ignoring the waves random people sent your way in hopes of finding your destined car sooner so you could help your assistant with her injuries and be home already.

And in bed to think about what the fuck just happened tonight.

+

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[vnamps]

THE GRADE AID. 001

next. |

overall summary: lee min-ho, your absolute academic rival, an absolute menace needs help to raise his grade before the semester ends, and who better to ask for help than you, the grade aid.

overall contents: minho is cocky, a bunch of teasing, angst, fights, mentions of injuries, good ending, lowercase

word count: 0.98k

lee minho, the school's most popular male, the son of a wealthy businessman, and your absolute rival in school. he was an absolute menace, someone who'd egg you on if you'd ever get even 1% less than him on tests, someone who didn't even have to make attempts to get a good grade, he was naturally smart and even if he wasn't, his father could still silver spoon him into good schools.

this same minho now sat at the table inside the chemistry lab, looking at his paper in pure horror. A big circular number on his paper read beside the percentage sign. and as if that hadn't been scary enough, the message below was even worse.

"I am disappointed in your efforts, mr. lee"

the words were intensely scary it was almost as if he could hear your voice saying it for some reason.

"zero? damn, that's harsh." he turned out to meet your face, peering over his shoulder with a grinning expression.

you made your way to a seat next to him, sighing loudly, reminiscent of all the times he did the same to you in a test.

"oh yeah? what'd you get?" he leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest.

a smile appeared on your face as you slid your paper over to him, his eyes widening slightly but his overall expression the same.

one-hundred and twenty percent??

"I know you may be wondering, how does such a strong, intelligent, empathetic being get such a high score, minus the extra credit."

"I'm not wondering, I don't care." he was salty, you took note of that. you laughed a little to yourself as you felt victorious for once in your whole rivalry.

the whole rivalry started 3 years ago when you all got the exam results posted on a bulletin outside. whilst everyone raved on about how smart you were, minho felt jealous and decided he wanted to be smart as well

after that, minho would feel such high validation and get praise for being able to beat you in certain subjects, becoming the first topic when it comes to student intelligence.

It annoyed you. why would someone like him wanna take the one good thing you had? he had luxury, he had potential love interests, and he had a life made up for him. so why was it that he constantly felt the need to take away your progress?

it was a question both you and he constantly asked yourselves. one even jisung asked himself as minho ranted to him.

"they laughed in my face, jisung." minho emphasized as he rubbed his temples, sighing in disbelief.

jisung was scrolling through his phone, showing halfhearted sympathy as he lifted his head to look at minho. "well they're only giving you the same thing you give them." jisung reasoned which caused minho to sigh again.

as days passed, minho constantly saw a downgrade in his chemistry work, more messages filled with the word "disappointed". this went on for about 2 weeks before the teacher pulled him aside at the end of class.

"mr. lee" she starts off, peering up at him through her glasses before sighing and shaking her head.

he already knows what's to come as he approaches her desk, a worried look on his face.

"lately, I've been seeing some uh.. flaws in your work for the past few weeks and I've been a bit concerned." she brings out a slip of paper, handing it to him.

"this is a mini graph of your grades and how they can affect you going into college if you don't fix them.''

minho sighs, looking down for a second before lifting his head back up. "Is there any way I can fix them before the semester ends?"

her face lights up in a suggestive smile and minho feels the weights of his shoulders lift a little with hope.

"I like that you're not willing to give up, I'm proud of you," she states before bringing out folders filled with student applications.

"I have a few students who are doing exceptionally well in my classes and may be willing to help you." she opens the first folder, your picture is there as well as your tutor information. she lets out a small aha before showing minho.

"y/n l/n, they excel the most in my classes, I assume you'd know them?" minho's eyes widen once he sees the picture, a small sigh leaving his mouth as he looks away, muttering a small "yes''

"great! I'll get them to tutor you, starting tomorrow, the more time, the merrier"

as the day went on minho dreaded the fact you had to tutor him. he wished it was someone who liked him more, someone who'd guarantee his good grades.

the next day went by scarily fast as now he sat in the library, watching your figure make your way over to the table, an annoyed look on your face.

"do you intend on bothering me, lee?" your face was stern as you stared at him with widened eyes.

he sighed and rolled his eyes. "I didn't have a choice, I wouldn't have chosen you if I did."

you let out a harsh airy breath, setting your books on the table. "as if you couldn't have gotten a personal tutor instead of wasting my time. oh wait, I forgot you need daddy's money to afford that and of course, you wouldn't want daddy to think his little son wasn't perfect."

minho rolled his eyes once more. "right. if you're gonna keep talking instead of helping me, I'd be very happy to tell her that her perfect little ace isn't as generous as she believed" his head was tilted to the side, his eyes bleeding into you as he spoke.

you sighed in return, sitting down before opening the books, starting your first lesson.

[ihopeinevergetsoberr]

Pleaseeeee,i love how you write Viktor so much!!Also,i am ecstatic to still see people writing for our favorie pale victorian child-esque man!How do you feel about a request about tenderness?Maybe someone finding him to be their own little safe haven,even if that means just being in his company?

ask and you shall receive! we love a good dose of fluff <3

cw: viktor x gn!reader, fluff, established relationship, dialogues — because i fucking love writing them. i couldn’t help but fill this with my stupid ass questionable humour — but i hope you darlings don’t mind me being a little silly. didn’t proofread this + i wrote it at 2 am with only one eye open, so don’t hesitate to slap me if i made some stupid mistakes.

wc: 600~

tags: @zaunitearchives @blissfulip

Viktor’s workshop is a sanctuary of some sort, desk a cramped little shrine cluttered with his precious tools, and you wince, absorbing the rhythmic sounds of his scribbling — soothing and steady, mingling so smoothly with the thuds of hail. The absolute misery of the weather has treacherously decided to lock you up in his bizarre chambers — though it didn’t feel like being held hostage: you were a voluntary victim, wholeheartedly willing to spend hours simply watching him tinker. You wouldn’t dare to sneak out even if it did eventually brighten up — who needs sun in a world where Viktor’s eyes exist, warm and museful, orbs the prettiest shade of amber?

He sighs, living up to the proud position of being the most observant man you know, and a sinuous hand nimbly scratches the screwdriver against the nape of his neck — as if he somewhat felt your enamored eyes on the wild knot of shorter hairs sticking out from under the mess of longer ones. Had you worrying that your glances had just accidentally gained the power of giving him itches.

The gesture is charming in its frivolity, though Viktor seems rather unaware of it as he quizzically turns around, thick eyebrows forming a curious arch at your resonant chuckle.

“What?” he mumbles, dragging the last letter with that heavy accented voice — utterly dashing even in his confusion. “Is there something particularly entertaining?”

It takes you a moment to catch your breath — this man might just become the reason for your passing. You can already picture the epitaph — ‘blame my death on Viktor, who was cruel enough to overhumor me to the point of undoing.’ You should definitely demand he makes a joke at your funeral — that way mourning won’t overwhelm everyone present too much.

The thought makes you notice that you must’ve inherited your lover’s view on mortality. That’s a little food of thought for another, less cheerful day.

“Your choice of a… scratching tool is rather unusual, that’s all,” the soft response earns you a wry smile on his behalf — no teeth, just a handsome stretch of slightly chapped lips into a thin line. “You could’ve just asked me to do it for you, you know?”

“I would hate to become a distraction for the foolish purpose of using you as a screwdriver,” he remarks with a hum, nodding in your direction. Though, his concern about disturbing you vanishes the second you step closer, brushing his hair with a gentle stroke of a touch-starved hand, fingers getting stuck in tangled locks, reminding you to use an actual brush on him later.

“Ah, but I wasn’t busy,” you assure him, savouring his barely audible keen as you part the woven together hairs with the softest of tugs. “And I don’t mind becoming your tool for a minute or two. As long as I can be of service.”

“That’s very, eh… thoughtful of you,” he purrs a careful response, visibly savouring the tender gesture — the man is basking in your gentleness, and you’ll gladly offer him every last bit of it. “May I hope for your indulgence in case my tools accidentally become useless?”

He gives you another pretty grin — it’s a toothy one this time, and you stiffen, so endlessly proud of bringing such a wide smile to his usually reserved face.

“Of course,” you respond with a sweet peck, placed precisely on the mole above his chuckling mouth.

Perhaps you should change the epitaph to ‘died of overwhelming love for a certain scientist’. Though, now that you’re thinking about it — the quote is definitely a tad too cheesy for your liking.

[saber-monet]

Hey I came across your post about embracing the “manifestation coincidences”, and one about making sure to not be unfazed by how well things play out. I’d like to ask how you make peace with the ‘insanity’ of it? Bc I think I’ve shifted to a higher timeline and now am living a better reality. But I spent the last 2 days looking up parallel universes on reddit & now I’m scared I’m going to run into my doppelganger and get killed or that I’m actually supposed to have died in my actual universe.. I’m scared and I can’t talk about it with anyone in fear of them suddenly turning into a demon just like in horror films.

Hey! First of all, everything you’re experiencing is more common than you might think, especially for people who, like me, grew up skeptical or secular about spirituality and are only just now exploring it. Shifting your mindset and embracing manifestation can feel so surreal at first—like you’re stepping into something “forbidden” just by allowing yourself to believe that things can work out in your favor.

I went through the exact same thing when I started three years ago; I felt paranoid, like I was breaking some unspoken rule just by thinking positively. I promise—you’re not going to run into a doppelgänger or anything bad. That’s just your mind processing a huge new perspective.

One thing that’s helped me is thinking of the “surrealness” you’re describing as an emotion, like anxiety or sadness. It can feel jarring, but it’s temporary and will pass. When I feel that surrealness creeping in, I just acknowledge it: “Yeah, this feels weird right now, but it’s going to end soon.” I know my mind will eventually latch onto a less intense thought process, and things will go back to ‘normal’, and so will yours—sometimes in 30 seconds, other times in a couple of minutes. but you will feel fine again.

Also, if affirmations work for you, lean into those! Remind yourself that you’re safe and fully capable of handling these new feelings. It’s all part of the process, and you’re going to get more and more comfortable with it.

And honestly, one tip? Steer clear of Reddit or anything that brings up new fears. I stay away from things that make me question my safety and, instead, focus on what feels grounding and calming, whether that was music, a walk, cooking, talking out loud or even talking to chatgpt helps me (there's a voice call option on the app so you can talk to it like a real person)—anything to keep me from overthinking.

i treat myself like a worried child, what would you say/do to a worried child to make them feel better? You would tell them everything's gonna be OK, put on their favorite comforting TV show/movie/musical, give them a snack, you remind them that you're here for them and that eventually they will laugh about this moment in the future etc.

Watching Abraham Hicks Workshop Excerpt videos helped me so much too (she talks a lot about exactly this topic, and if you’re interested, I can DM you a link, just message me). And these videos, she speaking to people who have gone through the exact same thing that you're going through and had the exact same questions/ concerns/ stories about reality creation.

Her seminars really put into perspective that I wasn’t alone, and neither are you. You will make sense of this experience. You'll know what works for you and what doesn't. It's a personalized journey.

You’re in good company, and there’s an entire global community of people who get exactly what you’re going through. Trust that you’re okay, you're being properly guided each step of the way and give yourself permission to enjoy the experience. You're not the first person or the last person to go through stuff like this.

There's a lot of older people who have gone through the " awakening process" and have reacted differently to it. Some become monks/teachers, others use it to grow their business and achieve their goals, others just use it here and there to get the things that they want and live a relatively normal life, and some never use it again . Don't feel overwhelmed by it, you have the choice on how you wish to proceed .

(also I'm going to dive into this topic in another post im currently working on: but you can ask for less synchronicity and for things to go back to “normal”. Just because you've learned this new information and this new way of interacting with reality doesn't mean that you have to continue if you don't want to. ( Yes, you have lifted the metaphorical "veil" but you can also put it back down)

Also, please reach out , or anybody reading this post, if you wanna chat. I did this alone, I got to this place of balance, reassurance and comfort alone, and I would have really like to have somebody to talk to so I'm here if you need me.

[dp-marvel94]

An Unconventional Way to Get a Cat- Part 3

Summary: It turns out, Danny's bough of nausea after the portal accident was not just the stomach bug going around school. This must be the most horrifying, disgusting way to find himself a new pet owner.

Part 1 here -> Part 2

Word Count: 2,456

Also on AO3

For @wastefulreverie and @silentambiance (and @ladylynse)

Based on wastefulreverie's prompt: Portal AU. Instead of gaining powers in the accident, the portal is fused inside Danny, making him the gateway between worlds and leaving him with the unfortunate ordeal of vomiting up ghosts. Maybe someone catches him in the act. And Chaotic_french_fries's prompt: danny gets a ghost cat And it's done! Enjoy the final chapter. Continued warnings for angst, body horror, and vomiting. Though enjoy more kitty adorableness. Happy reading!

“Oh. You’re still here.” The next morning, Danny woke up to the ghost cat curled up at the foot of his bed. “Morning, missy.”

The cat lifted her head, letting out a quiet mrow. She stood and stretched with a yawn. Then, she sat back down, licking one of her front paws.

Danny stretched as well, grabbing for his phone. He scrolled for a while, relieved that his queasiness had settled. Though… 

Coldness still swirled in his belly, eerily similar to the chill at the edge of his… mind? He wasn’t sure what it was. Not sight or sound nor touch. But something, some new, innate sense told him exactly where his ghostly companion was.

Still, the cat was silent at the edge of his bed.

That is until…

“Meow!”

Danny looked up at the sudden exclamation. “What is it?”

A second later, the nausea surged. He gasped and less than a minute later, had thrown up another ghost blob.

He scowled at the blob on the floor before turning to look at the cat. “This is becoming a pattern. Actually….” His brow furrowed with a realization. 

The cat just turned her head innocently, letting out what almost sounded like a curious thrill.

“You get noisy everytime, right before I… you know.” Danny frowned at the thought.

The ghost gave no answer, of course. Though she did stand, padding towards him. Her furry side pressed into his side, a low purr starting up. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the day, a second, a third passed. And sure enough, it was a pattern. The cat was chill and quiet for the most part. She stayed in his room, playing with dirty socks, begging for pets, sleeping on Danny’s bed. And blessedly keeping out of sight of Danny’s parents.

But whenever he started to feel nauseous…

“Meow!”

Danny’s head jerked up from the plate he’d been picking at. His eyes widened, face turning green.

“What was that?” His mom’s brow crinkled in confusion, head swiveling to look.

The boy stood so quickly, he knocked his chair over. His gaze flittered over the kitchen. No ghost cat…. But a spot near the couch shimmered. His strange new sense stretched and he could feel the chill of his new feline friend.

“Meow!” Another call came

“Was that cat?” His dad asked.

The queasy feeling lurched and Danny shivered “Oh. I… Uh... left my computer on in my room, didn’t I? Those cat videos, am I right?” He forced a laugh, pointing a thumb towards the stairs. “I’ll just run and turn it off.”

His sister’s brow furrowed, suspicious. “Danny, it’s fine. I’m sure it can wait.”

“No. No. Uh.” He suddenly hiccuped. The taste of limes and old pennies welled on his tongue. He visibly grimaced, a hand covering his mouth. “I’ll turn it.. Hic… off.”

Jazz’s expression shifted, eyes wide with concern. “Are you okay?”

Danny turned, hurrying off. “Of course… of course I’m fine. Why would you… hic..” Something thick swirled at the base of his esophagus. “I’ll be right back.” His voice squeaked, more nervously high pitched with each word.

But he had no time to worry about it, nor his family’s perplexed gazes, fixed on the back of his head. Instead, he ran up the stairs and tore open the door to the upstairs bathroom.

The boy knelt, barely making it to the toilet bowl in time. He wretched, ectoplasm flowing up. His jaw forced itself wider, something slimy and suction-cupped slinking its way out. The creature plopped into the bowl, letting out a screech. A second later, it darted up into the air, bobbing in front of the boy’s lowered head.

Eight tentacles, a bulbous body, large eerily human-like eyes, a mouth that looked like it had been drawn on with crayon. Danny flinched away, nose wrinkling in disgust. “What the hell.”

With a pop, Missy reappeared. Yowling, the cat lunged. Sharp claws dug into the other ghost and dragged it through the wall.

The boy grimaced. “Weird squid-octupus thing…” He whipped his mouth, then frowned, a prick of worry. “I hope Missy will be okay.” He moved to wash out his mouth, picking up a cup and filling it with water to gurgle. “She’ll be fine.” He shook his head, reassuring himself. His cat knew how to take care of herself.

His cat…. The thought gave him pause, movement stopping mid-gurgle. His cat… His brow wrinkled, mind flickering to the fluffy green fur curled on his bed, those wide green begging for pets. It seemed like the cat really was his. He had named her Missy, after all.

Danny swished the water in his mouth and spat. He washed his face, his complexion shifting from a sickish green back to its normal pink. He let out a sigh, both relieved and tired.

“I’m getting sick of this.” He muttered. 

A week of nausea, of interrupted sleep, of running off at inopportune times to throw up. At least it was summer, he sighed. He didn’t have to hide this during class. His friends were out of town, so he hadn’t seen them in person, hadn’t had to run off on them yet but…

His stomach churned, dread at the thought. When they came back… what would he tell them? Could he tell them at all? And-

“Danny?” His sister’s hand gently knocked at the bathroom door.

The boy grimaced. He’d completely forgotten about running off on family dinner. 

His eyes flickered around the scene, checking the floor, the toilet, his face in the mirror. To his relieve, there was no sign of ectoplasm or ghostly visitors.

“Danny?” Jazz called again, more insistently. 

The boy turned, opening the door with his best annoyed-younger-sibling face. “What?”

“I wanted to see if you were coming back.” Her brows wrinkled, concerned. “Are you feeling okay? You ran off in a hurry.” Her eyes flickered back to the toilet suspiciously.

Danny’s stomach flopped nervously but he pushed it down, crossing arms. “Can’t a guy just go to the bathroom, jes?”

Jazz’s worried gaze didn’t waver. “You looked nauseous. Do you need some pepto? There’s a bottle-”

“Who are you? Mom?” He sneered, storming past her. “Let’s just finish this stupid dinner.”

“I’m allowed to be worried.” Jazz stomped after him. “And it’s not stupid.The four of us have barely seen each other since the ‘portal’ opened.” The air quotes were audible. “Maybe I just want us to eat together for once, like a normal family.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Danny rolled his eyes, the perfect picture of annoyance. 

But inside, his stomach flopped guilty. Truthfully, he’d been avoiding his family. Which wasn’t too hard with his parents’ single minded focus on the miraculously functional portal. But his sister… 

“And family dinners are good for building communication skills and strengthening family bonds. We should be invested in each other’s lives.” Her face softened. “And I want to know what you’re up to, what’s on your mind, little brother. Even if it is all ranting about video games.”

Yeah, great in theory. In practice…. The cold in his stomach twisted. An icy secret threatening to spill at the smaller prod. 

Danny said nothing, just sitting down and picking at his food. He couldn’t help but feel Jazz’s disappointed eyes on him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the week passed with Danny still running and hiding, the nausea still always lingering below the surface, his new cat acting as a meowing warning beckon.

He avoided his sister more than ever, refusing every insistence that he join family meals.

“Danny, I made spaghetti.” Jazz held up the pot, eyes wide and pleading.

“Oh, I uh… already ate.” The boy lied, gaze nervously flitting around the room. A familiar presence shimmered at the edge of his… ghost sense. Out the corner of his eye…. Furry ears just visible on the other side of the living room window. Paws rested on the sill, a cat’s head perking in. 

His sister’s brow furrowed. “What are you looking at-”

“Nothing!” He cut her off. Then forcing himself to sound calmer. “I was going to go for a walk so…” He pointed out the door and turned, half jogging. “Bye Jazz. Have a good dinner.”

Danny closed the door, turning to the cat with narrowed eyes.

Missy lowered her paws to sit primly on the lawn. Ears low and flattened, Danny almost imagined she looked guilty. Or maybe just innocently confused.

The boy’s face softened. He couldn’t stay annoyed with her for long. “Come on then.”

Danny took off, the animal following dutifully. Odd behavior for a cat but… Missy was a ghost after all. Some strange behavior could be forgiven.

The pair made their way to the park a few blocks away. The boy found a small, secluded clearing in the small woods. He sat on the grass, pulling a package out of his pocket.

“I picked these out on my last walk.” He held out a furry black mouse-shaped toy. 

The cat padded forward, daintily sniffing at the object. 

“You like the mousy?” With a smile, Danny dropped the toy at Missy’s feet. The ghost sniffed more eagerly and he grinned. “Yeah? Figured you’d like that catnip.”

The cat lowered into a crouch, batting at the toy once. She watched it for a moment, eyes slitted and ears forward. 

Then as quickly as she’d taken interest, the animals sat up, turning away. She licked at her paw, focused on her grooming. 

“Seriously?” Danny blinked, disbelieving. “How about this one?” He offered the rest of the pack one at a time. Dark brown, tan, white.

Missy’s eyes swiveled, widening as they fixed on him. 

The boy perked up. “That’s it, girl. Check out your new toys.”

The cat crouched, hind counters wiggling. She pounced…

“Oh come on.”

Not on one of the toy mice but for a white butterfly, gently flitting between the flowers. 

“Typical.” Danny rolled his eyes.

Still, he smiled while he watched the cat chase the insect. She leapt, claws just falling short. The butterfly flapped up, out of reach. Missy chased it, attention quickly darting to another insect. For several minutes, she ran, going after her own tail just as often as the various bugs. 

A yellow swallow-tail butterfly fluttered passed and Missy pursued, eyes round and eager. She ran for it, swiping but… missed. Instead, the cat got a nose full of black-eyes susan.

Tail whipping, the ghost snapped into a sit. Her head jerked back, eyes pinching closed as she sneezed adorably. 

Danny burst out laughing. 

After that, Missy settled down, the zoomies thoroughly exhausted. The boy laid down in the grass, surrounded by the flowers. Fluffy white clouds drifted across the sky. Danny watched them, smiling softly at the rumbling purr of the cat beside him.

It was almost enough to forget his troubles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The relaxing excursion eventually had to end though. The sun dipped below the trees and Danny had to go home. He trudged down the street, wary of another night of hiding, of avoiding.

The boy opened the door carefully, eyes on alert for familiar figures in the living room. He let out a sigh, seeing no one.

He went inside and closed the door. His eyes darted to the stairs. He wanted to just head up stairs but… his stomach rumbled, demanding food.

Danny frowned down at it. He hadn’t eaten much the last week, the nausea being so hard to work through but… it was manageable now. Actually… barely noticeable. 

He felt a bit of awe at the realization. Maybe this was actually starting to get better. 

Mind made up, the boy made his way to the kitchen. He opened the pantry and the fridge, much more confidently than he had any day this past week. Cereal and milk sounded perfect. 

At the table, Danny ate one bowl. He noted, half aware as Missy invisibly lounged on the couch. She curled up, falling asleep as he enjoyed a second bowl.

Danny was almost done when Jazz entered.

“I thought you already ate.” His sister raised a brow questioningly.

He tensed at the question before swallowing, trying to appear casual. “I wanted a snack. Is that a crime?”

Jazz raised her hands. “I’m just glad you’re feeling well enough to eat again.” 

Danny went for another bite but paused. There was… no hostility, no skepticism in the statement. Just plain relief. “What are you talking about?”

His sister raised a brow. “I’m not deaf, Danny. I know what someone throwing up sounds like. I don’t know why you felt the need to hide that you were sick.” She shook her head. “I’m just happy you’re getting better.”

Speaking of getting better…

“Meow! Meow!” 

Danny’s eyes widened, suddenly panicked. “Not now.”

“What was that?” Jazz’s head turned, suddenly bewildered.

“I was watching a cat video.” The boy lied, looking down at the notable lack of his cell phone .

“But… there isn’t…”

He abruptly stood up. That damned queasiness rising. “I forgot. I’ve gotta.. Thing.” The pool of cold in his stomach swirled violently, green and ice rushing up his throat, through his veins. His face was definitely turning green. 

Danny ran for the bathroom and Jazz ran after. “You’re still feeling sick!?”

“No. I’m…” He gagged, his breath sour and coppery. “Fine.”

“No, you’re not.” The boy ran through the door and turned, just in time to slam it on his sister’s face. “Danny!”  

“No! I just ate too fast. I’m…” He panted, ectoplasm forcing its way up. “Fine.”

“Danny! It’s been a week. If you’re still feeling sick, you need to see a doctor. I can’t believe I didn’t….”

Jazz kept talking but Danny couldn't hear her, couldn’t focus. He heaved, vomiting ectoplasm into the toilet. It stuck to the inside of his mouth, his throat, as thick, slimy and disgusting as ever. 

He faintly registered his cat, rubbing herself against his leg. Her own catty way of comforting him.

Another wave. Danny panted, trying to calm the heaving, easing the upheaval. But… he couldn’t breath. Something large pressed against the base of his esophagus. 

The size, the dimensions didn’t make sense. Much too large for his throat but… still it came. It stretched, it unraveled, it unmade, it… remade. 

A flash of green left Danny seeing spots. Shakily, he rose from the ground… and higher. The boy bobbed in the air. He was… floating? Also, glowing, bright light thrown from his skin. Or… not his skin? White gloves, black sleeves. Was this an inverted version of his hazmat suit?

What just happened?

“Danny! I swear, if you don’t-”  Suddenly, Jazz bursted in.

Shoot! Jazz, he’d completely forgotten….

Like two deer caught in head-lights, the two siblings stared at each other. 

“Danny?” 

Note: 

And that's it. A little rough, since I just wanted to get this posted and didn't have time to proof read.

I hope you enjoyed Danny and Missy's adventures. Writing the kitty was very fun and precious to me. She'd definitely based on my girlie, who basically never meows and had no reaction to catnip.

Also, sorry, not sorry for the cliffhanger. My plan was always to get to the Jazz reveal, though I wasn't interested in writing her reaction. Though, Danny's ghost form finally coming through ate the end there was a surprise for me too. I have some deranged ideas about how Danny's ghost form works in this au though. So if someone wants to send me as ask on tumblr, maybe I'll talk some about that.

Also a note on this AU! Writing a Portal AU was very surreal and exciting for me! This AU was what got me into writing DP fics. @ladylynse 's Passageway was the first dp fic I remember reading and being enthralled by. It made me want to start writing my own fics. And I've wanted to write my own Portal AU for years but I've always been too intimidated to. But then, I saw the prompt for phic phight and it reignited that spark. So thank you wastefulreverie for finally getting me to write this!

[ourtearsofrain]

Slow It Down (D.R.W/S.F.K)- Chapter 2

Pairings: Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka, (barely a mention of) Josh Kiszka x Male O.C.

Genre: angst, small fluffy brotherly moment between Jake and Danny

Word Count:  1.8k

Warnings: drinking, smoking, capital “A” Awkward reunion between Sam and Danny, painful flashback of unrequited feelings, argument/heated convo between Sam and Danny, miscommunication

A/N: Yes, I did put Austin (Josh’s O.C. boyfriend from Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy) in this even though this series is separate from that universe because I love him so much. Same O.C., different universe.

--------------------------------------------------------

Daniel. He only calls me that when he’s mad at me. He only called me that when he was mad at me. The tension between them is thick enough to cut with a knife, and each set of parents share confused looks at their less than enthusiastic reunion. Josh comes to the rescue, clearing his throat loudly and grabbing Danny’s arm as he passes him, dragging him over to Jake where he stood making the drinks. “C’mon Daniel, start chugging. Jake and I are already three drinks in.”

“Joshua!” Karen’s scolds her oldest son this time, breaking the tangible awkwardness between Sam and Danny as everyone resumes what they had been doing prior to Sam’s entrance.

“What? It’s summer break, day drinking is socially acceptable.” He shoots her a smile as she rolls her eyes, busying herself with helping Sam take the rest of the watermelon to the tables as Josh turns back to the other two men. The smile leaves his face instantly as he gives Danny a concerned look, handing him his drink as Jake works on their refills. “The fuck was that?”

“What do you mean?” Danny takes a sip of his drink, grimacing slightly at the amount of alcohol Jake had put in it.

“The fucking ‘Hey Sam’, ‘Daniel’. Did you guys get in a fight recently or something?”

“No.”

“Then what happened? You guys are best friends, as close as Jake and I are.”

“No, Josh. You, Jake, and Austin are my best friends. I haven’t spoken to Sam since I moved to New York.”

“What?!” The twins speak at the same time, their faces identical looks of shock as their jaws drop.

“Yeah uh, guess we just grew apart.” Or something like that.

--------------------------------------------------------

August 4th, 2017, 3:27 AM; The Wagner House’s roof.

“Promise me you won’t forget me.” Sam’s words are quiet, the crack in his voice loud in the still of the night. Danny glances over at his best friend, the tears in his eyes catching the light of the waxing moon.

“What? Sam, of course I’ll never forget you. How could I?”

“I don’t know, it’s stupid. Just… Jake and Josh left, and now you. You’re all off to bigger and better things than Frankenmuth has to offer, and I’ll just be here. Alone.”

“Come with me then. Come with me to New York, you can enroll at NYU for Spring semester next term, live with Josh and I.”

Sam shakes his head with a halfhearted smile, his tears finally escaping as they roll down his cheeks. “Na, you know I’m not a big city guy. Besides, you guys probably don’t want me there…”

Danny laughs in disbelief. “What are you talking about, Sam? Of course we want you there.”

“I mean it Danny. That’s just… not for me. You guys will move away, find a new life, hell, fall in love. And I’ll be here.”

“Come with me, Sam.” Danny begs, his heart breaking at each word that came from his mouth.

“No, Danny. Why the hell do you want me to come with you so fucking bad?”

Before he can think or try to stop himself, Danny grabs the sides of his face, pulling him towards himself until their lips meet. Hope flickers in his stomach as he feels Sam begin to kiss him back until he abruptly pulls away, out of his touch. He stands quickly, wiping his tears away roughly as he begins to back towards the open window of Danny’s bedroom.

“I- I have to go. Goodbye, Daniel. See you arou- see you when I see you.” And just like that, he’s gone, disappearing into the window. 15 seconds later, he sees Sam jog towards his own house, his front door slamming behind him as Danny can do nothing but sit frozen in shock.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. What have I fucking done? Danny pulls his knees to his chest, his head dropping as he begins to sob, truly alone in the dead of the night.

--------------------------------------------------------

“What do you mean you ‘grew apart’?” Jake’s question rips Danny from his memories, who tries to keep his voice even as everything he felt that night resurfaces.

“He didn’t call, didn’t pick up when I called. I guess our schedules just didn’t line up when I visited.”

“You’re telling me you guys literally haven’t spoken, haven’t seen each other since the day you left??” Josh’s eyebrows furrow as he glances back to his youngest brother, anger beginning to show on his face.

“Nope.” Danny takes the opportunity to down the rest of his drink as the twins both look over to Sam, sitting alone trying to ignore them. Trying to ignore Danny.

“What the fuck??” Jake sets down his drink, beginning to start towards Sam. “I’m gonna rip him a fucking new one. That little shit doesn’t get to just ignore his best friend of 11 years just because he moved for college.”

“Jake, wait!” Danny catches his arm, preventing him from continuing on his path. “Please just drop it, it’s fine. We can coexist this summer, and then I’ll go back to New York for school, and it’ll be done and over with. I swear, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Whatever. I’m still gonna be passive aggressive towards that twerp all summer. Little asshat.” Jake shakes his head, anger still visible on his face but slowly diminishing.

“Me too.” Josh says in solidarity, looking sincerely at Danny.

“It’s cause he’s the youngest, thinks he can get away with anything.” Jake grumbles before noticing Danny’s empty cup. “Refill?”

“Uh, yeah, thanks.” Danny suddenly feels as if he’s being watched, and he looks behind him only to see everyone else talking, immersed in their own conversations and unaware of the one that had just occurred between the three men. That is until he glances over to where Sam sat, seeing his eyes fixed on him with an unreadable expression. The second Danny makes eye contact, he looks away quickly, pretending to be interested in the grass at his feet.

Bastard. If anyone should be staring, it should be me. I just fucking know he wore that outfit to torture me, maybe see if I still had feelings or something. Why the fuck else would he wear those tiny ass blue swim shorts and only do the bottom two buttons of his shirt. It’s fine, Danny. Just don’t look at him the rest of the night, just ignore him and everything will be fine.

--------------------------------------------------------

10:29 PM

Danny’s plan had worked for the most part throughout the night, paying Sam no mind as he tried his best to enjoy his time with his family. It hadn’t exactly been hard as Sam had maybe said ten words all night, preferring to sulk away from the group even as the Kiszka and Wagner parents kept trying to include him in conversations. At around 10 pm, Sam excused himself for the night, grumbling some excuse about being tired only for his brothers to ridicule him about how “early” it was.

As the night had gone on, Danny kept downing every drink Jake made for him, quickly becoming tipsier than he had intended to be. Luckily, the twins kept up with him, drinking just as much (and more than likely, more than Danny had).

“Dannyyyyyyy.” Jake whines at him from his camping chair as they all sat around a small fire pit, toasting marshmallows for S’mores. “Do you still have your old guitar? Wanna play but mines back at my place in Chicago and I don’t wanna ask Sam to use his.”

“Yeah, I do. Hasn’t been used in ages and I lost my tuner when I was packing though.”

“S’fine, I can tune by ear. I’m practically a pro.” He giggles at his own comment, beginning to sway gently in his seat as he watches Danny stand.

He wobbles on his feet for a moment before finding his balance, carefully navigating around the fire. “I gotcha Jake, be back in a second.”

“Yaaaaay.” Jake and Josh cheer in unison, with everyone knowing that Jake’s playing would surely be accompanied by Josh singing.

“Best little brother ever. Love you, Dan.” Jake calls after him as he starts across the yard.

“Love you too Jake!” He can’t wipe the smile off his face as he walks through the side door, remembering how good it felt to be surrounded by his family again. Unfortunately, it’s wiped from his face when he immediately sees Sam sitting on the curb of the sidewalk between their houses smoking a cigarette. He just had to fucking pick somewhere I would have to pass him, didn’t he. Danny tries to make as little sound as possible as he walks behind him, hoping he won’t notice, or if he did, he wouldn’t say anything.

“Hey.” Shit. Danny stops five feet away from Sam as he looks behind him, directly at Danny.

“Oh, so you’re talking to me now?”

“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

Anger floods Danny as he stares back at Sam in disbelief at the audacity of his question. “What the fuck do you think it means, Samuel? You ignored me for three years and then continued to ignore me the entire night. Don’t pretend we’re all buddy buddy again.”

“You’re the one that kissed me, you don’t get to be mad I needed space.”

“MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE KISSED ME BACK!” The volume of his voice surprises even himself, quickly lowering it as he continues for fear that the others will hear. “I have every right to be angry at you, Sam. You were my best friend. You could have talked to me about it. You should have talked to me. I would have respected your boundaries, and we could have moved on like nothing happened. You don’t get to use the past to be an asshole to me now.”

Sam says nothing as he looks over Danny, his expression once again unreadable. “You grew your hair out long.” His voice is quiet, following his statement with a long drag of his cigarette.

“Yeah. I did. It’s been three fucking years. Maybe you would have known that if you cared enough to answer my calls.”

“It hasn’t been three years.”

“Y’know what, Sam? You’re right. It’s been two years, ten months, and 15 days.” Angry tears threaten Danny’s lash line as he stares Sam down.

“Jesus Christ, you’ve been counting?”

“Of course I have, Sam. Why wouldn’t I count the days since the biggest mistake of my life?” Danny spits the words out, already done with the conversation and using everything in him to keep himself from walking away then and there. Sam says nothing, silence falling between them as he takes another drag from his cigarette. “Unbelievable.” Danny scoffs as he shakes his head, resuming his path to his house and leaving Sam alone on the curb.

“You weren’t the one that made the mistake that night.” Sam whispers, but Danny’s already too far away to hear him. He puts his cigarette out on the asphalt beneath him, his stomach twisting as tears silently roll down his cheeks.

--------------------------------------------------------

taglist: @gretnavannfleet @aioba1503-sdm @jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka @milojames16 @theres-a-tvjoe @sanguinebats @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @currentlyfangirling10

(The tags have been funky, so if it didn’t work, let me know)

[anavatazes]

They found Abby TLOU2

https://www.ign.com/articles/hbos-the-last-of-us-season-2-finds-its-abby-in-kaitlyn-dever

Now, can all the ASSHOLES that hate Abby LEAVE the actress the FUCK ALONE! After the immense hatred that poor Laura Bailey received for playing a fictional character in a video game, I am fearful how poorly Kaitlyn Dever will be treated, in particular concerning her connection to Pedro's Joel.

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️SEASON 2 SPOLIERS⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

You are warned. If you don't wanna know what happens, don't go any further.

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Ok. Now, for that already know what knows what happens in Part 2, Abby kills Joel in a very horrific manner. Not rehashing it, nor do I really want to turn this into another Abby bashing post. Not my favorite character, but I don't outright hate her, and won't tolerate that shit right now. Time and places, people.

I am concerned because of the absolute hate STILL felt for the character, that it will seep over to the actor in full force, much like it did for LB. Many can't seem to be able to separate the actor and character from each other. They still body shame Abby to no end. I've already seen a bunch of comments where they began body shamming the live action actor before she was even cast.

The misogynistic idiots can be ignored to a degree. But what really worries me are the Pedro fans, similar to the Joel fans, are gonna be so pissed when they see Abby kill Joel. And they didn't know it was coming. Some people can remain oblivious, somehow, in this day and age. How feral are they gonna be? How reactionary are they gonna be? Are they gonna be able to separate the actor from the character? And, more importantly, are the rest of us Pedro fans gonna be mature enough to help guide them to a safe place to get their emotions out where it won't be a complete nightmare for KD AND Pedro?!

Because, c'mon, you can't tell me, that when Pedro sees any fan of his hurt anyone that it doesn't hurt him? The big smush pillow that he is? I see so many people passing around videos and memes about how they're not responsible for your reactions to their actions. That may be so, but you do need to be held accountable if those actions are causing harm. A point that is sorely missed those. The Pedro Fandom is overall protective of our Pedro.

So, I want to kindly ask the Fandom, with love, that when we see this shit happening, and especially when it happens when the show airs, (picture lots of mom/grandma finger pointing here, because that's me), to be nice, be mature, ask them to remember what our Squish Pillow would do (even if he is more chiseled and less squishy right now 😉)? Are we adding to his anxiety? We don't need to do that. The man has more than enough for all of us and don't need no more. Nor does he need another fucking excuse to shrink more away from social media!

Besides, I don't know Kaitlyn Dever. I've never heard of her. I look forward to learning more about her, and seeing what she brings to Abby. Do she and Craig make me see what Neil wanted me to all along? Or is it the same old? But I know this. I won't hate her. She's a human being. Very few things on this planet could make me hate her, and her playing Abby is not one of them.

[amethystina]

Good morning/afternoon 🌸

I am interested in reading about u have added to these following fics:

Who holds the devil (is it sad ? :()

Gravitational pull (this one is very sexy and sensual. I am excited to see what u added to it !)

I hope u have a lovely day/afternoon/night 🌷 and good luck with ur health 💗

Thank u for always spoiling us 🦋

Good evening! 💜

Alright, here we go!

Who Holds the Devil

To be honest, the most recent thing I did for this fic was to look through my plans for the coming five chapters and rearrange a couple of things. Because I noticed that some scenes needed to come in a different order for the story to make logical sense.

I don't have any snippets as such (again, a lot of it is just a series of lines of dialogue xD) but what I can say is that the next chapter will focus on the trial and Ga On's therapy appointment. Though the latter might not be entirely what you all are hoping for x'D

But there will be lots of Elijah, so that's something?

Yo Han and Ga On are also going to start having somewhat more normal conversations again, either in the next chapter or the one after that (it depends on how many scenes I can fit into the next one without it getting too long). That's not to say that things will be fixed or easy by any means, but they're getting closer to finding some sort of new normal.

Whether or not that's a normal they actually want, well — that's another thing entirely.

Admittedly, this is the story I'm the most careful not to give spoilers for, so sorry for being a little less forthcoming. But I will say that as things are planned right now, chapters 43-47 will all contain scenes I've been waiting months — if not years — to write. I am seriously so excited for a lot of them and I can't wait for you all to see them.

Lots of good things to come! :D

(and by good I sometimes mean painful but I promise it'll be worth it in the end)

Gravitational Pull 2

Oh man, do I feel guilty about this one. Because it's fully plotted. I know exactly what's going to be in it and I'm really looking forward to it since it's going to explore another "what if" scenario that breaks canon, but I'm just... not writing it? For a while there it was because I know this instalment will contain sexual content and that was — and still is — a bit intimidating. But I can't say I've never done it before since I've now written Each Touch. And, in all honesty, the sex in the Gravitational Pull sequel isn't quite as intense, though arguably more ill-advised from a social etiquette standpoint — all Yo Han's fault, obviously.

In the end, I think the main reason I haven't continued — despite wanting to — is lack of time and not having been able to prioritise it. I only have so many hours when I can write and, due to all of my health issues, it's always less than I would like.

That said, I have every intention of continuing and actually have a little bit written already. The fic will continue right after the first one — or the day after, to be more precise, when Yo Han, Ga On, and Jin Joo are in the car heading towards Hyeongsan-dong and the riots.

And here's a little snippet!

---

Ga On tried his best not to look at Yo Han.

The tension lay thick inside the car, the silence pushing against Ga On's eardrums. Judge Oh, who sat in the back, probably assumed it was because of the crisis at hand — apprehension at the thought of what lay ahead of them — but that was only partially true. Ga On was also struggling with an insistent, nerve-wracking hum of concern, making his spine stiff and throat tight.

Yo Han shouldn't be here. He was still injured — only a day had passed since he'd gotten shot.

No matter how grave the situation was, Yo Han should be at home, resting, not driving them to an area of Seoul that was quickly becoming as chaotic as an active war zone.

Ga On gritted his teeth — until his jaws began to hurt from the strain — and looked down at his hands. They were tightly clenched in his lap, his thumb rubbing restlessly over the other. Perhaps Ga On was being too selfish, but he didn't want Yo Han to put himself in danger like this — not when he wasn't at his best. Ga On could admit that Yo Han hid it well but since Ga On knew to look for it, he could see the subtle delay in Yo Han's movements and how he held himself slightly more rigidly than usual.

Yo Han was still in pain.

He still had a goddamn hole in his stomach but pretended that he didn't.

And Ga On had to play along, since Kang Yo Han couldn't show weakness. The people around them couldn't know that the chief judge was injured. The fact that their opponents did was already bad enough — and was probably why they chose now to try and overthrow him. They didn't think Yo Han would be able to fight back as fiercely — with as much precision — as he normally would.

They were expecting an easy victory.

But, even injured, Yo Han was a force to be reckoned with and, as always, would do whatever it took to win.

Even if it jeopardized his own well-being — and Ga On's peace of mind.

---

In canon, Ga On obviously had no idea that Yo Han was injured when they were doing all this reckless shit, but here he does. And BOY does he hate it. Which I can't blame him for. But it's also not going to stop Yo Han because, well, Yo Han.

I think I'm just going to have to schedule a time to finish writing this if I want to get it done — preferably sometime soon...

Thank you so much for the ask! And you have a lovely day too :D

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