#ancient egyptian pun

[aimarskloset]

Ghostly Gazette #6

[monstrousliarstold]

[sleepyfan-blog]

I VERY DESPERATELY NEED/Want Baby Primarch Mers. So Badly. PLEASE!

Ok! I"ll go down the list

1 - Lion - So, the temptation to make him part lionfish is incredible here. There's also the fact that IRL Lionfish are a huge problem in certain parts of the world because they are an invasive species in those areas, as well as incredibly deadly because of their poisonous spines. And considering how deadly Lion and his sons can be... Yeah, I think he's part lionfish. Specifically he has a deep green tail with silver stripes. His spines are black and gold and hold incredibly potent poisons.

2- ??? [REDACTED BY THE ORDER OF THE EMPEROR]]

3- Fulgrim - He is part Coral Beauty Angelfish, and has a beautiful purple tail that fades into a vibrant yellow color. Coral beauties (at least according to the quick google search I did about them) are an incredibly hardy salt water fish, and known for their vibrant colorations.

4 - Perturabo - is part Cabezon - which are known for being Stubborn Bastard Fish who Refuse To Move until they get their next meal, willing to wait days and even weeks before they get their next meal. Which is often other fish, which I feel fits Peter turbo pretty well. He has a pleated tail and fins that are a mottled steel and black color, with the occasional yellow stripe.

5 - Jaghatai - is part Sailfish - which are allegedly one of the fastest fish in the world IRL. He has a bright white tail with red stripes. His fins are also white with red stripes.

6 - Leman - is part Piranha. Not only are Piranhas highly predatory, they also are species of fish that school together. Like how Space Wolves almost always stick together in packs. Also, he still has fangs in this AU. His tail and fins are a lovely slate grey color with an iridescent shine to them.

7 - Rogal - part greenland shark! Cold adapted predator of the sea. Doesn't look like much but is an apex predator in the seas it lives in. He has gorgeous golden fins and tails with black spots.

8 - Konrad - part goblin shark. I didn't pick it just because of the name, but because it is a deep water shark (lives in darkness, just like a certain edgy primarch) that is rarely seen by humans. And. Well. Most humans who saw Konrad didn't exactly live to tell about it, did they? He has a deep blue tail and fins that are surprisingly slender. But powerful and he has a hell of a bite and many, many pointy teeth.

9 - Sanguinius - He has a beautiful silver tail and fin-like wings, as his mer-half is flying fish! Although I was super tempted to make him part-lamprey because of the blood-sucking aspect of him.

10 -  Ferrus - as per the suggestions of @angronsjewelbeetle @c-u-c-koo-4-40k and @i-am-a-dragon34 Ferrus is now part Dunkleostous, with dark grey fins and tail on his dorsal side and a silvery ventral side.

11 - ?? [REDACTED BY THE ORDER OF THE EMPEROR]

12 - Angron - part betta fish. He has striking red and gold fins and tail and will square the fuck up if the mood strikes.

13 - Roboute - there is a big temptation to go for the Ultramarlin pun, but I won't give in. What I am going with is part Ribbon Eel, as they have this really lovely blue body with bright yellow dorsal and ventral stripes that go all the way down their bodies. That and G-Man having a long tail to thwap his brothers with makes me giggle.

14 - Mortarion - part pufferfish. Prickly, defensive and poisonous. Can and will puff up. Has grey fins and tail with dark green spots. Spiny.

15 - Magnus: I am torn between making him part carp - because of the Japanese (I think?) myth about a carp jumping up a waterfall in order to become a dragon - which hints at Magnus' incredibly powerful warp abilities or an Abtu, which is a mythical ancient Egyptian fish, because Space Egypt. Thoughts? Opinions?

16 - Horus: Is part dolphin. Known for being very charismatic and charming, but can and will bully other kinds of sea life. Baby-Horus has a deep green tail with gold markings.

17 - Lorgar - I love the Parrot Fish pun suggestion by @c-u-c-koo-4-40k so that is what I am going with. His fins and tail are a deep red color with a silver shimmer to them.

18 - Vulcan - another excellent suggestion by @c-u-c-koo-4-40k for making one of the primarchs part barracuda! I have decided on Vulcan, rather than Magnus. Vulcan’s dorsal fins and tail are a deep green color, the ventral side is black. Along the middle where the two colors meet, he had gold spots.

19 - Corvus: Part of me wants to make Corvus either some kind of shark, or angler fish bc of his whole "sworn vengeance and eternally hunting after Lorgar post-heresy" thing but. Big E is also a being who loves himself some aesthetics and I don't think a part-angler fish boy would fit that. Perhaps part black-tipped shark bc of their stealthiness. Thoughts?

20 - Alpharius and Omegon: are color-pallet changed blue-ring octopi. Instead of a yellow body with bright blue rings, they have vibrant teal tentacles with bright silver ring-patterns across their tentacles and up the fishy parts of their bodies.

@egrets-not-regrets @the-pure-angel

[thequeer07puss]

Puns

The fact that the Egyptians liked puns and that they were used in a religious context is so funny to me, and I think we should reinstate it.

"What's lost in translation, though, are the puns in this unusual story. 'Shu' sounds similar to the Egyptian word for "sneeze", yshysh, (which resembles the noise most of us make when we sneeze) and may also be an ancient Egyptian euphemism for ejaculating. Likewise, 'Tefnut' is similar to their word for spitting. Today, we groan whenever we hear a pun of this caliber, but to the ancients such similar-sounding words were never coincidence. Instead, they often suggested a hidden meaning" - Sharon LaBorde, Following the Sun**

It's so funny that the people who say things like "words are magic, that's why it's called spelling" and people who make puns are closer to the Egyptians than those who don't. Embrace puns. Be with the gods.

*In a modern context the story could be written like that

Nun: we need a name for this brand new deity concept, what are we going to call it?

Atum: We'll call it - wait a minute- ACHOO!!

Shu: *appears**

[ava-of-shenanigans]

Egyptian pharaoh names but I’ve turned them into ancient cat names

1. Tutankhbastet (Tutankhamun)

This is the most obvious name on this list because literally all I’ve done is change out the name of one god for another god. I’m not doing that for any of the others I promise.

King Tutankhamun is the one pharaoh everybody knows about, which is ironic since his birth name literally means “the living (ankh) image (tut) of the Hidden One (Amun).” (“Tut” can also be translated as “likeness” or “statue.”)

Amun was the Egyptian god of, uh… stuff (he’s hidden. His whole deal is that he’s hidden). Bastet was the Egyptian cat goddess. Sometimes she was portrayed as a lady with a cat head, but sometimes she was just a cat. If you switch Amun’s name out for Bastet’s, it becomes “the living (ankh) image (tut) of the Cat Goddess (Bastet).” Truly, a name that only the most dignified and elegant cats deserve.

Transliteration: twt-anx-bAstt

You could also say it “Tutankhbast” if you prefer.

2. Hatmiushepsyu (Hatshepsut)

Hatshepsut’s name means “the foremost (hat) of noblewomen (shepsut),” and it turned out to be really good name for her, since she became pharaoh and all. If you want to change it to “foremost of noble cats” it becomes Hat-miu-shepsyu, “miu” meaning “cats” and shepsyu meaning “noble.”

Transliteration: HAt-miww-Spsyw

3. Nedjestiti (Nefertiti)

I am aware that calling Nefertiti a pharaoh is controversial since there’s a chance that Neferneferuaten might have been her daughter and not her. But finding names of pharaohs that you can do this to and are also popular enough to be recognized is hard so shush.

Nefertiti was supposedly the most beautiful woman in the ancient world (although we can’t confirm that because Nefertiti and all the other ancient women are now dead). Her name fits this, because it means “the beautiful one (nefert) has come (iti).”

“Nedjes” is a word meaning “small,” so changing the name to Nedjest-iti makes it mean “the small one has come.”

This is a good name, because if your cat is bad then you can use it in a derogatory sense to call them a penniless little beggar. Unfortunately, it only really works for girl cats, because the masculine version is “Nedjesiu,” which loses the pun quite a bit.

Transliteration: nDst-ii.ti

4. Miumer (Narmer)

Narmer was the first pharaoh to rule over all of Egypt, and like other early pharaohs the only name used for himself was his Horus name instead of his throne name or birth name. (You know that TS Elliot poem about how cats have a bunch of different types of names? Pharaohs are like that too). Because Narmer was his Horus name, it was written inside an enclosure called a serekh instead of a cartouche.

The name itself means something like “striking (mer) catfish (nar)” or “fierce (mer) catfish (nar).” To change it to “striking cat” or “fierce cat,” you need to change nar to miu: Miu-mer. (Yeah the English translations of this one are stronger wordplay than the Egyptian versions, sorry.)

If your cat is a girl then the name should be Miutmer instead.

Transliteration: miw-mr

5. Bitokris (Netiqerti/“Nitokris”)

Queen Nitokris was either a cunning murderess, whose name lurks in the shadows of history… or she was a 3,000 year old transcription error. The only potential record we have of her name in hieroglyphs is the name of a pharaoh called “Netiqerti” on the Turin kings list. This could be Nitokris, or it could be a mistake made by a scribe while trying to copy the name of the name of another, completely different pharaoh.

If Netiqerti is Nitokris, then her name means “Neith (Net, a goddess) is excellent (iqerti).” Bit-iqerti/Bitokris would mean “honey (bit) is excellent (iqerti).”

Transliteration: bit-iqr.ti

[thereal-moonknight]

Steven tell us some egyptology jokes/puns!

what do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?

Gordon Ramses

[sherbertilluminated]

Of all the titles in Songs for Pierre Chuvin, "Their Gods Do Not Have Surgeons" is the most strikingly melancholy. It's not just that Darnielle's voice sounds muted and plaintive, that the chorus is one request, over and over again:

Restore the temple of Isis at Memphis

It's not even that the singer wants something so simple. It's that he wants something that the listeners believe is good.

The title of this one is a reference to Chapter 8 of A Chronicle of the Last Pagans, where a Christian mob destroys a number of statues honoring Egyptian deities, breaking off their limbs and shouting "their gods do not have surgeons." Which is conspicuously wrong in the song, because one of the most famous stories to survive from Egyptian religion is one where a deity performs a reconstructive operation.

I doubt my USAmerican upbringing offered me a nuanced look at ancient Egyptian religious belief, but even as a child I was familiar with the story of how the god Set dismembered his brother Osiris, and how his sister/wife Isis (almost) put him back together to conceive a son. This myth is present in the lyrics of Their Gods Do Not Have Surgeons—the Christians are compared to "beasts" with "pawprints" in a way that matches Set's quasi-canine depictions and I'm pretty sure the line "return the peace you took from me" is a homophone/pun on the missing "piece" of Osiris' body which prevented his complete resurrection—and relevant to its rhetorical situation.

The "they" and the "you" of the song are Christians of the (reunited?) Roman Empire in Egypt, people familiar with Jesus' comparison of his own body to the temple in Jerusalem and his assertion that it will be destroyed and reconstructed. When Darnielle sings "you who come demanding proof/let your God rebuild this roof," it's especially poignant because's he's arguing that if only the singer were offered a chance, ie if only he were allowed to worship the surgeon-goddess Isis in her temple, he could demonstrate that Christianity is not the only religious tradition to believe in a resurrection.

The reason for the pathos of the chorus becomes clear at the end of the second verse, with the request "show us the goodwill you were shown/or leave us alone." The poignancy of that plea comes from the recognition that if the people oppressing you would only listen to you, they would realize you love similar stories, that they won't listen to you, that religion will not prevent people with imperial support from acting imperialistically, and that you're desperate enough to ask anyway.

The other tracks on Songs for Pierre Chuvin showcase a range of reactions to the Christianization of the Roman Empire, from violent resistance in "Aulon Raid" to syncretism and covert hope in "Exegetic Chains." But "Their Gods Do Not Have Surgeons" is special to me for the raw pain it depicts and the way it frames that pain as a product of hypocrisy and religious myopia.

[brookstolemybrand]

On the "Alabasta" vs "Arabasta" thing:

I just wanted to point out that even if the name is supposed to be "Alabasta" from "alabaster" (which I think it is, altho in Japanese it could also be a pun on "Arab" at the same time) that doesn't make it any less MENA related because alabaster is a material that's strongly associated with MENA and particularly Egypt and Mesopotamia

I also tried to look up the etymology of the word, which is unfortunately a bit unclear; it can be traced back to Ancient Greek but it seems to be of foreign (likely Middle Eastern) origin. But altho it isn't a confirmed etymology, the only suggestions for the sources for the word that I could find were Ancient Egyptian:

1: ꜥj-r-bꜣstjt (“vessel of the goddess Bast”)

May or may not be accurate but it would be very fitting considering the holy sea cats in Alabasta

See this alabaster jar depicting Bast in the form of a lioness doing a little blep, from Tutankhamun's tomb:

2: an Ancient Egyptian city called Alabastron (possibly modern Amarna?) — I assume "Alabastron" was the Greek name but this would support the idea that the word is of Ancient Egyptian origin

See also this Wikipedia article about the type of perfume vase that the word is supposed to come from, also originating from Ancient Egypt:

This also reminds me of the perfumes of Nanohana

It seems that in antiquity alabaster referred to Egyptian alabaster specifically, but by analogy it was then later used to mean other similar materials, like a specific type of alabaster-like gypsum or marble, but gypsum is softer than alabaster while marble is harder and more opaque. Gypsum alabaster was particularly used in Europe I believe, while some marble objects from India were also apparently labeled as "alabaster" by Europeans

I'm definitely not an expert in any of this though, I'm not a geologist or a historian and I haven't studied Ancient Greek or Ancient Egyptian, so take everything I say with a grain of salt (and feel free to correct me if you know better)

But the point is: both names point to the MENA region, "Alabasta" just has stronger Ancient Egyptian associations while "Arabasta" would obviously have stronger Arabian associations

Neither of them have anything to do with India

[hohsalle]

i posted this on twitter but here's a fanservant design for utnapishtim/ziusudra/atrahasis! copious design notes under the cut

disclaimer its been a hot second since i played babylonia so i dont exactly remember what the deal with him in babylonia was (did he turn out to actually be grandpa hassan. did they meet ziusudra [real] at any point. i dont know) but since im so into mesopotamia i thought i might as well make another design anyway

"why does he look like nemo" he looks like nemo because noah looks like nemo in arcade, and the same story motif (from lb6) that leads nemo to be noah's host [?] body [?] also applies to utnapishtim since utnapishtim and noah most likely are cognates stemming from the same "ur-myth" of the flood

because there are a couple of inverted artifacts from noah's story compared to utnapishtim's (the dove vs. the raven being the bird of significance), i've inverted some of utnapishtim's colors compared to noah. utnapishtim has silver hair compared to noah's warm-toned hair, and the color of their top and bottom is switched

speaking of the raven i didn't draw it but it's utnapishtim's cute mascot thing

a couple of the design motifs are based on either oceanic items or oceanic puns (again because of the flood thing). the fishtail braid is a pun. the gray shoulder sashes are meant to look like fishing nets (this idea was half borrowed from samrem) and are also references to egyptian beaded dress, since there was so much trade between mesopotamia and egypt during some ancient periods

the structure of the waist sashes and pants are half-noah, half-based on that one gilgamesh skin from CCC. the pattern on the teal sash is based on floor tiles from nimrud/assyrian palaces; the color scheme of the other one is meant to look like seafoam

the gold decorations on his chest, in his hair, and on his arms are referenced from a suit of jewelry i saw in a near east artifact exhibit. the shoes are freestyle though (and are sort of like caster gilgamesh's?)

in the epic, gilgamesh finds utnapishtim after going through a garden at the edge of the ocean with plants made of [?] carnelian, hematite, lapis lazuli, etc. and meeting siduri. because of this i wanted to have all three of these specific stones represented (the red, blue, and black)

he is most likely a rider because of the significant role his boat plays in the legend, undecided if his NP is "he who has found life" (translation of his name) or "preserver of life" (the name of his boat). the former sounds cooler but the latter is more direct

[daybreaksys]

Monster High was the best nonhuman representation we were exposed to but the character names were all bad puns with very little cultural/racial(nonhuman) consideration

Frankie Stein is okay I guess even though the surname was Frankenstein

Draculaura is... okay I guess

Clawdeen Wolf is a stretch but not unbelievable

Cleo de Nile is an abomination of a name.

Cleopatra was not from the culture that had mummies and pyramids, she was from a Greek family that ruled Egypt 4 THOUSAND years after mummies and pyramids.

"de Nile" is modern French, the Egyptians didn't call it "Nile", they called it Yātraw, and definitely didn't use "de".

I'm trying to give her a more proper name. As far as now I've got Shāriyt Niysīwat Yātrawʕaʀ, "princess of the Nile", or "Daughter of the King of the great River.

The bare romanisation is šrjt nswt jtrw-ꜥꜣ (for ancient Egyptian connoisseurs who got damage from the common-folk-friendlier spelling)

If it looks like a sentence, that's normal, royal ancient Egyptian names were all full sentences.

I guess her non-mummy friends in Monster High would call her Sharit, which is just the (Englishy-fied) word for "daughter". It kinda sounds like Share it.

Disclaimer: the vowels in šrjt are not listed in my sources, I extrapolated them

[systastic]

hihi ! could we get a lvl 3 cyno fictive ? we have a cyno fragment that needs to be fleshed out ^ . ^

sure can! fun fact: we met his voice actor in person :] alejandro is a super cool guy -🌳

meow used mostly arabic and egyptian names fur him beclaws of Sumeru’s theming ~ theres some non-ethnic names aswell do be aware of that!! :3 - 🍥

name :: cyno, cyrus, silas, amun*, nassor, zafar, jabari, usi, amir, sayf, horus*, seth*

age :: 18 to 21

pronouns :: he/him, hy/hym, ty/tyr, sae/saer, se/sem, thae/thaer, thon/thons

roles :: coach, comedian, confidence holder, disciplinarian, jailer

species :: human, wielder of Hermanubis’ power

gender identity :: genderqueer, anubiagender, desertarian, electrobodiment, aesumerun, anubisic (will coin on request)

orientation :: vincian/achillean, erosian [only use if the body is poc!]

source :: genshin impact

aesthetic :: ancient egypt, fantasy, sigma (jokingly)

appearance description :: born to followers of hermanubis and the long-deceased king deshret, cyrus has all the hallmarks of a desert-dweller: deep, dark skin, earth-toned eyes, and a strong build. tyr pure white hair and severe red eyes stand out from the crowd — as it should, given that these are the hallmarks of royalty last seen several hundred years ago. it is because of amun’s oddities that thae were chosen to hold the ba fragments. in silas’ continuity, hy was given both pieces instead of just one. this further impacted his appearance: soft features like those of the deity before hym, along with much more muscle due to the intense training regimen sayf went through as a child. nassor still left the temple of silence while he was young, moving to sumeru and joining spamtamad with saer mentor. such great accomplishments and raw power saw jabari become the general mahamatra at the young age of 17. thons severe gaze and no-nonsense expression gets the criminals talking every time.

personality description :: usi’s stern demeanor and muscular build appears intimidating at first glance. indeed, thon is, making thon ruthlessly effective at capturing akademyia’s criminals and rule-breakers to bring them back to the matra for punishment. thons face usually dons a frown and narrowed eyes, sizing up the criminals who try to get away with horrendous things. in truth, cyno is not always so stern. while sae may seem strict on duty, seth is quite playful: cracking constant bad jokes and horrible puns in his deadpan voice, challenging friends and colleagues alike to tcg battles, and spending the majority of his time with his partner-in-crime tighnari & his forest ranger assistant collei.

likes :: desert views, sunlight (even if it seems harsh), warm sand under his toes, gentle wind over the dunes, buried treasure, justice for the wicked, delivering punishment, hermanubis, the matra, respect for his accomplishments, his job, absolutely awful “dad” jokes, puns, card games, trading card games, deck building, al haithem, kaveh, collei, and tighnari

dislikes :: those who break the rules, misuse of academic supplies, braggarts, complainers (this is why thon can only hang out with kaveh for so long), stuck-up students, those with superiority complexes, being cooped up for too long, negative reviews left on the akademiya public message boards (he’ll leave a witty retort back), being told his jokes suck or that he’s a terrible comedian (thon takes pride in his bad puns), and azar.

front triggers :: card games (specifically tcgs), academic misdemeanor, disrespect towards teachers, dad jokes, and bad puns

signoff :: ����, 🌵, 🏜️, or ☀️

image source: here!

* == names of gods, use with care !!

[roseofithaca]

Some peoples reactions when they're reminded that Robin was canonically a father are really baffling.

"But they were incest kids!"

Right, so? They were still innocent babies. You can be grossed out by caveman understanding of morality but you can't judge it by today's standards, they didn't know think it to be wrong at the time - hell you still had siblings marrying each other in Egyptian royalty thousands of years later! Robin later admits it to be his worst trait so he obviously learned over the years why it wasn't so good but at the time all they knew was "you like someone, you do it."

"He probably didn't know if those kids were his or took interest."

Dude literelly says that no one knew who their father was but "everyone raised children together in peace and love." EVERYONE, not just the mothers. The fact he said everyone might be descended from him and his sister says he at least knew she had his kids or some of them. He also said he kept his dad's skin so there must have been some understanding of what a fatherly role was. But more to the point, how do you think babies survived in those days? Granted a lot of them didn't but the ones that did made it far mostly because they were loved, they were nurtured and protected. I love it when archaeologists find ancient graves where little kids were buried with toys or comfort objects or tokens made to show how much their parents loved them long before they had the ability to write, or when there's signs of how those with disabilities or the elderly were cared for rather than being seen as a burden. People have always been people, it wasn't just "survival of the fittest".

"He just doesn't seem like a dad."

You mean the guy who is always comforting the other ghosts, sharing wisdom he's learned, resolving petty conflicts with simple solutions, always jumping in to protect them and the house, who makes lame dad-joke puns, who chose to form a one-sided bond with a lonely 12 year old girl despite not knowing her language, who always smiles at kids, who loves to learn but also teach others willing to listen?

Yeah, I see what you mean.

[appl3-juice-box]

OKAY OKAY IM GETTING MY FRIEND TO WATCH UNDERVERSE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT UNDERTALE IS SO HER OUT OF CONTEXT COMMENTARY IS SO FUCKING AMAZING I HAVE TO DOCUMENT IT AND MY EXPLANATIONS

For context, anything in () will be my explanations

@speak-now-girlies-unite because she said to tag her

is he wearing slippers omg this is amaxing

omg love me a male wife 🤭

soul absorption fancy (Yeah that basically means "haha I stole half of your life source lol, now gimme the other half and die")

i love the name ink so much

DID HE JUST THROW UP IN HIS EXCITEMENT OF TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING???? JUST LIKE ME FRFR (YEAH THATS WHAT HE DOES ITS KINDA QUIRKY)

crying? bb boy let me buy you a hamster to wipe your tears with

cross omg cool name

omg is that the error guy (YEA THATS THE ERROR GUY![I had previously talked about him]) YEAH (HES HOT RIGHT?) YEAH (YEAH)

the white/red soul thing is making me zzzzbrrrrr in interest (Ohohoho, youre gonna love this) that makes me also zzzbrrr in interest

samn that’s kinda sad i wanna write fanfiction about his sad life

oh my god is that a real life skater boy, with a backwards cap am i hallucinating (THATS FRESH HES SO FUCKING COOL)

he has a backwards cap (ITS GOT A LITTLE PROPELLER ON TOP TOO) does it really omg (YEAH) WOO

dark spaghetti thing ?? (which one, the emo?) Yeah I think so *intermission to find what the dark spaghetti is* (THATS NOT THE EMO THATS NIGHTMARE IM CRYING) seems pretty emo to me (trust me there's more)

OH MY GOD THE SUN PERSON >>>> (THE SUN PERSON I CANT) HES EXISTEDIN MY BRAIN FOR FIVE SECONDS I LOVE HIM

HIS NAME IS PAPYRUS??? LIKE THE ANCIENT EGYPTIAN SCROLLS? (THE PAPYRUS FONT AND COMIC SANS THATS WHY SANS MAKES JOKES) OHHHH

ketchup???

OH YMG SO THE SUN PERSONS BACK!!! His name is dream ? (Yes his name is dream) funsies🤭✨ (dream and nightmare) omg that makes sense

also i recognize that you’ve told me about them before right? (yes I have) 🤭

second person pov>

the shot of ink blinking at sans and frisk’s convo>>>>

officially frisk is my daughter

ink makes my brain go so vrrbbbbb (Ink makes my brain want to slaughter him /lh) oh damn what does he do😔 ... ACTUALLY don’t tell me i’ll find out<3

NOT THE FALLEN DOWN STOP💔💔💔 (YEAH FALLEN DOWN IS ORIGINALLY FROM UNDERTALE) YEAH I KNEW THAT I SHOULDVE PREPARED MYSELF SKDNDJ

(have you seen the emo yet?) he sounds kinda like a five year old having a tantrum he looks cool though (the golden tooth boi? Yeah thats him) funnnn

oo getting hyped up

omg fight scene? slay

omg x event - no clue what that is but it sounds cool

more soul absorption

i have mixed feelings on that word because as much as it’s cool it reminds me of the word moist

heart ?

he’s got that swagger that only people who talk in comic sans can have

re e e ed re e e ed

“sleeping is more fun than corrupting timelines” sleeping is more fun than a lot of thng - but i feel like corrupting timelines would be fun

is sans gay😨❓

i feel like i’m reading this wrong

manipulate manwhore mansplain

his special attack- he turns into an anime girl with plot armor - oh no he just pulls a rachel dare funsies

he saved the day with the power of bad puns (And a slipper) And a slipper

(Also who tf were you asking who was gay for who) idk who tf he is but he was like “there was this guy” and that was my first thought sjsnskdnsk😭 (WHICH GUY WHATD HE LOOK LIKE???) IDK EVIL??? (WAS HE THE TALL MOTHER FUCKER WITH WEIRD BLACK STRIPEY EYES THAT MET WITH INK? I NEED TO KNOW BECAUSE HE MIGHT BE GAY) -proceeds to investigate who the supposed gay man is- (I WAS RIGHT IT IS THE TALL MOTHER FUCKER WITH WEIRD BLACK STRIPEY EYES) WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? (IM A FFUCKING GENIUS WITH GUESSING THIS SHIT) GOOD OR BAD? (no he's not gay, you'll find more about him later)

god he’s a mood

OO THE ERROR GUY

go girl give us nothing

This is just from the first two episodes, be ready for more

[veil-over-miitopia]

Breaking Down the Main Problems of Neksdor, And How I Would Go Around Fixing Them

Alright; It’s Monday evening. I have Touhou OST playing on one tab, and the Miitopia wiki on the other. Let’s rock.

NEKSDOR, the desert kingdom without a monarchy present and possessing a loose pun for a name. When compared to the more lively neighboring kingdom of Greenhorne, you can tell that the difference between them is like night and day, and, unfortunately, the list of contrasts are not stacking up in the favor of Neksdor-

Before we start with the rant, I wanna state that I get that second stages in Nintendo games usually tend to be much weaker than the first, and that they are almost always desert-themed, but here’s where the problems start to take root; these levels also bring in new mechanics and challenges in order to make them fun and engaging enough for the player, and can you name anything new that Neksdor brought to the table that helps it differentiate itself from Greenhorne? You’re right! Almost nothing!

And, besides, if it isn’t the lack of freshly baked goods, then it’s a whole other slew of issues that are weighing Neksdor’s potential down; the story is half-baked, the area map is bland even for a desert region (you know you’ve messed up when Genshin did better), the NPCs serve little to no purpose, and the inner workings of this supposed kingdom make absolutely no sense. All that, and I still haven’t touched upon the blatant bias against this evidently-Arab based kingdom’s residents. The general opinion the fandom has towards Neksdor is that it is the weakest of the four areas present within Disc 1 of the game, and I couldn’t help but agree.

So how would I, your everyday Nintendo fanbrat with way too much free time on her hands, would fare against a Megacorporation when it comes to writing a fictional desert kingdom? Would I somehow make it feel like the breath of fresh air it deserved to be? Or will I fall into the same orientalist shit-hole Nintendo found themselves in?

I guess there is only one way to find out!

-

Before we begin, I need to state right off the bat that I am not Egyptian, so, unfortunately, I will be very, very inaccurate on a lot of things. Due to my lack of knowledge on the matter, I will be accepting of any and all constructive criticisms heading my way.

To make this easier for both myself and the readers, I will be slicing this post into a handful of segments. That way, I can detail each individual issue present while also giving ya’ll the freedom to scroll down to the issue that has weighed on your mind as well and see how I would handle it.

Lastly, I would also appreciate it if you guys told me how you would handle the Kingdom of Neksdor if it was in your hands; you know what they say, the more the merrier!

Now, let us begin with the big one;

1. The Problem with its Inspiration

Starting off strong here, aren’t we?

First, we have to look at Greenhorne for a quick moment; it is evidently more European-themed, first off, but you cannot exactly pinpoint the exact country it is supposed to be based on, if any. This is what makes GH more mystical and available to the players; it is ambiguous enough that they are free to make up their own headcanons and inspirations, and even make an original kingdom for themselves. I, myself, have decided that Greenhorne was Greek in origin- not really 100% accurate, but I am happy with how it turned out.

In that case, then what about Neksdor? You see, it really doesn’t take a genius to see that its inspiration is Ancient Egypt- and a very, very stereotypical version of it for that matter. Right off the bat, the criticism starts to construct itself before our very eyes; the lack of ambiguity mixed with the linear and honestly terrible storyline (which I will get to later on) makes the region boring and not open enough for anything to be left to our imagination.

It is rigid, yet also hollow. There’s so much yet so little going on for it as a level, and that is not mentioning how what we are able to see constitutes as a spit on the face of those who notice the blatant orientalism going on. How are we going to ever fix this disaster from the get-go, I wonder?

The answer? Nuke it all. Give Neksdor a fresh start, much like how Greenhorne and Realm of the Fey were created out of nothingness.

Now, in order to recreate Neksdor from scratch, we have to be a little more original; create new customs for it, a more fleshed out ruling system, and even rehashing the environment- all while leaving just enough for the imagination of the player and without abandoning the Arab-esque inspiration for it (this is not, and I repeat, NOT, encouraging the idea of putting every SWANA/MENA country in a blender, mind you; the general idea is to get creative over here, not, ahem, racist). I will be mostly focusing on the environment here, for I will be discussing the other two issues later down the line.

First thing’s first, we can still use the idea of pyramids as a resting place for the dead without exactly referencing the ancient kingdom, as it was also custom in other areas like Ancient Mesopotamia AND Mesoamerica (the more you know). We’ll be keeping this area for now, but the feel of it is subject to change, as Pyramids were usually a place of eternal rest for the deceased royals of old and not some spooky treasure trove full of riches and secrets. This will give this final dungeon a more serious vibe (as if the DL stealing your party members didn’t already do the job), as not only are you saving the living, but you’re also in the company of the long-deceased who wish to end this nightmare once and for all.

We start off our quest to fix a broken level with the furthest side of the map, right next to the Realm of the Fey; you see, most Arab countries had a lot more flora back then, and, even then, forests are no stranger to the modern Arab world; they’re a lot more plentiful than what the media suggests. To state that every Arab country out there has little to no plant-life save for oases is flat-out ignorant. What I am suggesting here is that, instead of a repetition of the sandy route we took when we entered Neksdor, we should have another map that serves as a well-earned good-bye from the desert kingdom; one that is full of greenery and lush trees. Fitting for a border between this level and the next (much like the Arid Frontier in GH), no?

I’d also wager that even the Wetland Bay deserves a bit of polish, because, to me, it appears like some river delta full of minerals that are suitable for farms. With the existence of the caverns below, I’d also imply that this river was much larger and deeper back then before it dried up for whatever reason; leaving behind remnants of the sea life that once thrived there long ago and have been re-awoken from their eternal slumber by the Dark Lord.

These suggested changes would provide more lore in regards to the spirits that exist within Miitopia and more mysticism surrounding Neksdor. We had GH’s internal politics and RotF’s knowledge of the mystical arts, so Neksdor should be the area that provides the most history out of the three. Expanding the map to be on the same level as Greenhorne’s and Realm of the Fey’s was another reason behind these plans.

I am not sure on whether I should replace the hieroglyph enemies or not- mainly because they are tied to a boss redesign I have been considering for quite some time now. Perhaps they could be given a rename and a bigger role in the story tied to said history of Neksdor and Miitopia as a whole, but I am also more than open to suggestions for when it comes to these lil’ buggers.

One last detail that needs to be addressed is the existence of the Minotaur in the caverns. Call me crazy, but this brings the Greek invasion of Egypt to mind, and, honestly, this is quite the stroke of genius on the developers’ part, so I will give them that. Believe it or not, there are Greco-Roman ruins littered across several Arab countries, and my country, Jordan, is almost full of them. In that case, I’ll keep the Minotaur, as it also serves its purpose of expanding upon Neksdor’s history.

2. The NPCs

Ah, shit.

My main gripe with the Neksdor NPCs is a really simple one- an issue that really doesn’t need much explanation, and that is that the majority of them are portrayed as the negative counterparts to the more European-based Greenhornite NPCs. They’re either “darker contrasts”, or just flat-out jerks- even without having to compare them to their nicer counterparts.

Aside from the Dancing Guide (who has her own set of issues), Rambling Old Man and Worried Explorer, the comparisons are as clear as sunlight; the Shady Merchant Father is encouraging his daughter’s bad behavior while the Worried Mother is doing her best to teach her son about politeness, the prickly couple are in need of a divorce- especially when compared to the love-struck Lovey-Dovey Couple, and the Desert Celebrity...honestly, I’ll give her a pass- her sass shines through even in the letters she sends us. She and the worried mayor need to be besties, I swear.

So, this leaves us with five NPCs total; the Dancing Guide, the Shady Salespeople, and the Prickly Pair (prickly....prickly like cacti-? Oh my goodness).

I will begin with the shady merchants- yeah, I do love their father-daughter dynamic, and, if you do look closely, you’ll notice that the father’s rescue animation is that of the Kind personality, which adds in a whole new level of depth to his character. So, if I love these roles so much, then what’s my big problem with them?

You see, it’s not much an issue with them as their own characters, but more of an issue with most stories that feature fictional Arab-esque countries in general; from Aladdin to even Cookie Run’s Yogurca, you are bound to find tropes that coincide with one another, and Miitopia is no stranger to that, alas. One of the tropes that are prevalent in these kinds of stories is, you guessed it, the “shady snake oil merchant”, who only exists to showcase how dangerous this new and strange world is to our “valiant and heroic (and probably white)“ heroes- one where not even the CITIZENS can be trusted, oh woe is us! Yeah...let’s shuck that shit out of the window.

So, without abandoning their eccentricity, shady nature, and familial bond, I’ll instead turn them into magicians or even trickster ironworkers; them being magicians would reflect the royal "clerics” that served the Pharaoh back then and attempted to one-up the prophet Moses’ miracles, and ironworkers would justify the existence of a weapons shop in-universe and why the teammates would bring back bananas instead of what they asked for (they more or less decided to do a little trolling when delivering the goods to the inn).

Despite the trope now being lifted, morality-wise, they’re still not good people; if they’re magicians, then they would boast about their own magic, and they would not be above scamming you if they were ironworkers. These job suggestions are not the best replacements, I’ll have to admit, but they’ll do for now.

Now unto the Prickly Couple- frankly speaking, they just needed more time in the oven. They’ll still bicker like the old couple they are, yes, but maybe a little more depth was what they needed all along. Like, come on, we don’t need another couple in media who do nothing but hate one another without any reason for even staying in the first place- it is fucking exhausting, even without the looming issue of racial stereotypes above us.

To showcase a quick example of what I had in mind, instead of the wife bickering even when her husband’s face was stolen, she’d probably break down mid-argument (i.e her way of trying to “keep things under control”) and get quieter. When the hero speaks to her again, she’ll be silent- save for a soft apology escaping her.

Upon rescuing her husband, she’ll probably be mad- but this time it’s over his safety. He’d be pissed over her still screaming at first, but, as the conversation goes on, the two will calm down. Yes, they have their issues- but what kind of marriage that exists that doesn’t? That doesn’t mean they have to hate each other. After Neksdor is saved, the two will still bicker, but over the more mundane things- with the wife ending the argument with a swift “Your energy will end your life the same way it started our marriage” with a nostalgic smile on her face (I am aromantic and autistic af- so idk if this came off as lovey or not).

Finally, unto the Dancing Guide- again, all she needed was a little more time. After saving her face, we can have her stretch her back and gleefully state how energy-taxing dancing can be, as it is an art form first and foremost. In spite of the pain, she still dances in order to show newcomers the beauty of Neksdor’s rich culture and welcome them to this vast and marvelous kingdom. I’d also rework her clothes a little in order for her to be a little more accurate to the belly dancers of today, and maybe have her visit the travelers’ hub every now and then.

Yes, Nilou from Genshin is one of my favorite characters, how can you tell?

3. The Monarchy- or Lack Thereof

(TW: Punishment directed towards kids, overly-strict parenting, internalized homophobia/transphobia, implications of collectivism and abuse)

This section will be split into two smaller parts; one to fill in the literal power void in Neksdor, and the other existing to flesh out our lil’ asshat Prince that we’re all familiar with.

Man oh man, do I have a lot to say about this one. In stories like these, it isn’t uncommon to see Arab-coded royals to be portrayed as generally incompetent or even malicious, especially when compared to the more Western-based monarchy - often portrayed as the good guys and good judges of character -.

I know, art reflects life, and most monarchies tend not to do jack shit for their countries- but, without the threat of me getting arrested creeping up outta nowhere, it’s the aforementioned comparison that gets to me. Let us be honest here; monarchs in general just fucking suck, not just the middle eastern ones we see on TV and video games. Wanna know why we all celebrated the Queen’s death a while ago? Come on, take a fucking guess, hon.

So to make sure whatever royalty that exists there still has this air of whimsical parody that the GH royal family possessed while also not resorting to orientalist themes, we have to establish the only known member of the royal family sans the prince- the Queen of Neksdor.

Honestly, if we’re gonna go with the route of making these roles contrast with one another, I can see that the queen is actually more competent than the king. The first scene where we meet here, we witness her giving a bunch of guards (those who were supposed to accompany the prince) a tongue lashing- reminding them of the evil threat that is imminent, and that they should be lucky that her son arrived safe and sound.

Not all is fun and games, however- I love girlbosses as much as the person next to me, but what I love even more is character depth. You see, she is quite uptight and is doing her best to make sure her kingdom is well-prepared against the Dark Lord’s fiends, so she is quite strict towards everyone- including her own son. Think Yellow Diamond from SU.

Right off the bat, the similarities between the Queen of Neksdor and the King of Greenhorne become visible; they appear to want nothing but the best for their children, but their methods and attitudes cause nothing but harm for their only known families. The king was more passive and nonchalant towards his daughter’s conflicting emotions of sorrow, nostalgia and even rage, whilst the queen promises to ground her son for making himself out to be an incompetent fool in front of their neighbors AND for unleashing a powerful jinni upon their people. As we chase down the genie, we see that she has locked the prince inside his room until she could cool her jets.

Here, we start to diverge towards the prince’s characterization and his goals. We see that he loves the princess, yes, but he loves his mother moreso and sees her as a guardian figure who is able to rescue him from the Dark Lord. The combined desires to marry the princess and appeasing his mother weighed on him so much that he was willing to take any opportunity to achieve either - or both - of these goals even if said chance (i.e jackass genie) appeared too good to be true. Aside from these two traits, we weren’t given much else...aside from his entitlement and apparent delusion of grandiose, but that is beside the point.

So how are we going to place these two puzzle pieces together in order for us to get the clearer picture? This next section...is going to be a lot heavier than I expected, so if the aforementioned list of TWs are too much, please skip this part and move on to the next or even close this post’s tab. I am a Miitopia fan and aspiring writer, yes, but I also know that not everyone is a-ok with such heavy themes. Just be safe, my fellow simple travelers; your comfort is of higher priority than a simple theory post.

We first dissect the reason as to why he wants this marriage so badly- he might just be attracted to the princess, yes, but he also laments on how is he ever going to explain all this to his mother; implying that he is afraid of her wrath or just generally disappointing her. It is obvious that the prince is not above lying to anyone, whether it is towards us or his supposed-to-be in-laws, but to his mom? He appears to be way too scared to even think about that, as if she is able to see right through his usual deceits or is just afraid of making her sad.

How this ties to my suggested characterization of the queen is a lot more messed up than how I initially planned it to be. The core cause behind the prince’s obsession with marriage is that he is afraid of his mother. He loves her, but he’s also terrified of her- of disappointing her, of lowering his status in her eyes. He is an asshole towards everyone, but, as they say, the apple does not fall far from the tree- and while the queen may not be a liar, per se, her son may have picked up that trait under her care in order to dampen the blow of her anger.

He may only want the perfect wedding in his mother’s eyes, but...does he really want the princess? Is he in love with her as her own person? Or is he just enamored with the idea of a picture-perfect royal marriage?

Once darkness falls upon Neksdor and the queen is out guarding the pyramid with the guards, we’ll finally be able to enter the prince’s room within the royal palace. There, we see that the prince is in a sad, broken state on his bed; not wanting to talk to the traveler and even asking them if they’ve come here to wreck any more of his possessions. No matter how respond, he’s not gonna do much, for he believes he’s already caused enough trouble as is.

As we explore the room, we manage to find a stack of perfectly-sealed wedding invitations, a really old picture of the princess, an image of him and his mother, and...a bunch of old shoujo comics, with the main protagonist being highlighted and the word “me!!” written next to her as she is in a loving embrace with her own beloved prince; I’ll leave the implications of this to the viewer, because it is by selecting this item that we finally warrant an actual reaction from the prince.

As we unlock more dialogue options, he drops several sentences alluding to lingering self-esteem issues and questions about his identity; is he really ready to inherit the throne after his mother? Will he ever escape her eyes? Or will he see them in the masses of his own people? Just before we leave, he parts with us with one of the last keys needed to enter the pyramid and his own apology- on how badly he treated you and your last party -. He then states that he cannot bear his face to anyone- not to the royal family of Greenhorne, and not even to his mom. He wishes for you the best of luck on your adventure as you leave the room, and, once you look back, you see that he’s locked the doors yet again.

After saving the faces all over Neksdor, we are finally able to actually enter the pyramid. There, we meet the queen, who urges us that this is no place to fool around...right before a boss fight get activated, and we show her that we’re more than able to defeat the evil force threatening the kingdom.

Once we have proven ourselves to be hardened warriors capable of smiting the foe awaiting us at the top of the pyramid, she gives us the pass to go further- heck, she even accompanies us as an additional party member much like the fab fairies, with her abilities being those of the Princess (or Vampire, for beautiful foreshadowing) job.

As we venture deeper into the pyramid, the queen explains the relations Neksdor has with both its neighboring nations, and how her royal family is responsible not just for keeping political relations afloat and stable, but also making sure incidents like the Dark Lord’s attack don’t ever occur. She gives us the excuse that she’s only harsh to her prince so he could harden himself and learn that the world is a cruel place-

This is when the hero interrupts her. Yes, there are trials and tribulations awaiting her son, but it’s not all gloom and doom out there. She tries to state that it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, either, but she’s then given this revelation on a silver platter:

If the world really is as horrible as she sees it, then why does she bother? Why the hell is she even trying in the first place? What’s stopping her from giving up?

If nothing but pain and horror awaits for him, then what’s going to help him push forwards? What is helping you, oh Queen of Neksdor?

The story of the prince and his mother not only is a glimpse at the issue of collectivism and family honor that, unfortunately, is still plaguing Arab homes to this day, but it could be a message to both kids and parents alike-

Kiddos, if you are in a restrictive, harmful and unfair environment, please do not be afraid to reach out and call for help- there are people who are more than willing to assist you, and the world is a kinder place than what we would assume.

Parents, even if you mean well, just note that actions speak louder than words, and the gate for an apology is closing with each passing day; your children will only remember how you’ve shattered their ambitions time and time again because you apparently hated them, and how nothing they wanted would ever appease you.

4. The Story is Half-Baked

Before I start, yes, the story present in GH is as tropey as it gets- it is whatever you get from a stock fairytale, that I admit, but, despite the corniness present, it also left us with a lot of open doors- questions that are only up to us to answer. As an example, why was there supposed to be a wedding between the two future monarchs of the two kingdoms? What exactly happened between the royal trio while we went out to get the calming fruit? Why was the CF so necessary to break up the fight?

With Neksdor, on the other hand, what we saw was what we got; a greedy genie and...that is really all. No open questions, no branched out storylines, no nothing. We’ve been dealt with what we got; nothing but sand on a plate and boiling vegetable oil in a wine glass. I am no Gordon Ramsay, mind you, but I think we all deserved a better meal than that.

So, combined with every one of the points above, I guess we can finally redirect our attention and ire towards the big boi himself, the Genie.

The genie is...missed potential. Not just for his characterization, but also the worldbuilding of Miitopia, the species that exist, his relationship with the other spirits that we know of, and how his powers actually work. This time, we will take some real-world inspiration and look at the most primordial form of genies we can get; the jinni.

When thinking about Jinni helping humans out, the story of Prophet Solomon (PBUH) - aka the King Solomon - comes to mind, as he had the ability to speak with animals and jinni, as well as being able to have demons and div under his control. Upon his death, he was still giving off the illusion of him standing up thanks to his staff keeping balance; an illusion that even tricked jinni back then - for they, too, are unaware of “Al-ghaib”/The Unseen -. Once his cane gave in thanks to a small creature, the truth of his death was finally visible to them.

So, where can we head with this knowledge? Perhaps the genie in-game had a sort of connection to the royal family of Neksdor back in the day, and perhaps attempted to deceive said royalty on occasion (not only reflecting the tale of Solomon and the Ifrit, but their general trickster natures as a whole). Ultimately, he might have been a jolly ol’ uncle figure to the ancient Neksdorian family, who also offered the people knowledge of the domain of magic.

I’d also wager that the genie possessed mastery of dark arts that are synonymous with the Dark Lord/Curse, as the cloud he resides on shares a similar color to that of the curse/Darker Lord. In the world of Miitopia, we see elemental, light, and dark magic utilized by a variety of jobs available to us, and the genie is no stranger to them, evidently, as he is able to teleport and use the powers of the wind to his aid in-canon. Jinni are so powerful it is stupid, so one can only imagine the genie at his full potential.

Dark powers coming from creatures who are normally invisible to the human eye...perhaps, the Dark Curse, in their human form, sought out a way to get rid of the face that they so despised- any way, even if it meant seeking out knowledge from the unknown.

Yes, it’s true; people can commune with demons and djinn, but not only is that considered a great form of sin, but even the methods of summoning one are outright blasphemous, as it all indicates that you have abandoned your faith in God and have resorted to disbelief. By ridding themselves of the face they hated so much by using otherworldly arts, they have barred themselves from the gates of Heaven, and were left a withering husk of the mii they once were.

Upon learning that the royal genie was suspected of creating a cursed soul and letting it run loose, he would be condemned by the Great Sage and be eternally trapped within this lamp- just like how he was summoned by using his name, so shall his name be the glue that binds him to this accursed object for all time.

Before we skip to the modern days, I have to mention one of the outing events that we are able to select, as it is crucial for setting up the genie’s goals and justifying his rage towards the kingdom. In the museum, the dialogue exchanged between two party members reveals to us that the artwork depicting the genie being sealed into his lamp was painted over 100 years ago, but the people “didn’t appreciate it at the time”.

The question of the Great Sage’s actual age being placed aside for now, 100 years is enough for the whole world to turn upside-down, and that’s not even thinking about the implication that it must have been even longer, considering how the painting wasn’t appreciated during the time period it was created in.

Imagine being trapped in this tiny artifact for who knows how long, only to be released over a CENTURY later by the descendant of the family who you considered your own- a descendant who doesn’t even know your name. Of course you would be mad- beyond livid, even; not only has history erased your existence in its entirety, but everyone you knew and loved were just...gone. Deader than the autumn leaves he was familiar with that are so full of melancholy.

Just by looking at this little twerp - a parody of the great monarchs he once served -, he knew that this kingdom was not worthy of all the achievements of their predecessors. He laughs - a pathetic attempt at blocking out the surrealism of all that is around him from making him howl from horror and sorrow -, and immediately talks the prince down; telling him that he and the rest of his pathetic kin have no idea of what’s coming for them, and that it is time for him to retrieve what is rightfully his...

[cathy-plus-e]

all races in warhammer, simply explained by one of the hivemind of anons:

the empire: germany like, humans, poverty and sadness around, generally pretty chill, not racist, as long as you don't worship chaos they are chill, main god was also their first empeoer, and they currently own the (kinda?) eponymous warhammer.

brettonia: french "chivalrous" knights, arthurian like, pretty abusive and annoying, least advanced main civilisation, humans, used as human meatshields and gaslighted by the wood elves. worship someone who they think is a goddess by the name of the lady, but is actually just a wood elf.

dwarfs: like classical fantasy dwarves, just angrier, sadder, stronger and having two badass cultural things they do: the great book of grudges, which is a book of every wrong ever committed against the dwarfen kin, it could be something like the king of a faction betraying dwarfen trust, to paying a dwarf one less gold ingot on accident, both of these would get war declared on you by the high king of the dwarfs. worship the ancestor gods. forged one of the eponymous warhammers, which is the one wielded by the empire.

wood elves: isolationist, racist, dickheads, armies mainly made of tree people and actual wood elves, the wood elves themselves are also known as asrai. worship both sides of the elven pantheon.

lizardmen: lizard people, they could be dinosaurs, chameleons, frogs you name it. they worship long gone and possibly dead gods known as the great old ones, and would declare war on an entire race due to mishearing a single word said by a half dead, half asleep frog priest. very advanced and powerful, have a great plan, but nobody knows what that means. they are kinda like aztecs. speak a weird language. all their names are bad puns, like "tictactoe" or "kroak".

high elves: arrogant, annoyed, powerful, main reason world took so long to blow up elves, they created a vortex of the winds of magic that protects the world from the deamons and forces of chaos. they worship one side of the elven pantheon, and most of them are highly racist. their king is finubar the sea fairer, and he hardly ever does anything. also known as asrai, and in earlier editions as sea elves.

vampire counts: vampires and necromancers, using armies of undead and sometimes living warriors, they never flee, and they never die. the vampire counts are split into 6 bloodlines: von carsteins, lahmians, strigoi, necrachs, blood dragons and the jade vampires. they mainly worship either Nagash who was the first necromancer and created the first vampire, or whoever they worshipped in life.

dark elves: sadistic, sexual, slave keeping, murderous, chaos affiliated(but only sometimes?), angsty, edgy, incestual dark elves. led by a king whose name means malice in their language. they are rather advanced, having boats that used to be castles and still are. they worship one half of the elven pantheon and sometimes worship the chaos gods.

tomb kings: ancient egyptians, but got necromanced back to life, and decided that they needed to reclaim their long gone lands. they hate vampires, necromancers, and each other. worship the literal ancient Egyptian gods. highly advanced with floating magic technological pyramids.

fimir: forgotten children of the chaos gods, also known as bog deamons or swamp creatures, led by the brutish dimirach nobles and the female only majestic magically gifted mearghs. worship the chaos gods, despite the chaos gods not thinking about them in the last 2500 years(give or take).

vampire coast: VAMPIRE PIRATES

kislev: humans, fantasy russia, ride bear cavalry, worship four gods of the motherland, known as the shield of the old world by the members of the old world. live right next to the chaos wastes. filled with civil war, skaven plots, vampiric usurpation, and cults of chaos and the gods of the motherland. led by tzarina katarin bokkha(most of the time).

the moot: halflings, hobbits, but without the good traits, gluttonous, greedy, short, living underground, great cooks, immune to chaos corruption, used to be part of the empire but seceded and are now an indepent state but still part of the empire, in fact the elder of the halfings gets a vote whenever a new emepoer is elected by the elector counts. worship sigmar, just like the empire. immune to chaos. good friends wth ogres.

warriors of chaos: mortal champions of the chaos gods, brutal, unstoppable, filled with all from fallen scholars from imperial colleges of magic, all the way to the brutish norscan tribesmen. main weakness is infighting due to worshipping different chaos gods. when they finally unite to try to bring about the end times, they are led by the current everchosen, who is crowned by Be'lakor, the first deamon prince, the shadow master, and first everchosen.

chaos dwarfs: also known as the dawi zharr, speak a weird langauge, worship the chaos god hashut, keep greenskins as slaves, highly and extremely technologically advanced. created the black orcs.

greenskins: orcs, goblins, night goblins, black orcs, savage orcs, gnoblars and boglars, a large species, with larger armies, speak in cockney english accents, and have primitive culture, with savage orcs being the most primitive. worship their twin gods, gork god of "kombat and sneakiness" and mork, god of "sneakiness an' kombat".

ogre kingdoms: hungry, slightly smarter then greenskins, always hungry, pretty religious and devoted, immune to chaos. lead by Tradelord Greasus Tribestealer Drakecrush Gatecrasher Hoardmaster Goldtooth the Shockingly Obese. worship a meteor crater that turned sentient after they worshipped it so much.

Deamons of chaos: the true children of chaos, unstoppable, immortal, spending their time fighting for attention from their god. the three most powerful types, are in ascending order: deamon princes, exalted greater deamons, and deamon kings(we have only seen two of these).

grand cathay: maic asia, led by the celestial dragon emperor and his 9 children, but there is also the monkey king, who is in league with the skaven and obviously sun wukong. worship the celestial dragon emperor.

araby: arabians, they have djinn, flying carpets and sultans. most important one was the golden magus for appearing in two different things with consistent characterisation.

kurgans: mutated, powerful, important, insanely strong, chosen of chaos, known for sometimes disobeying their gods and showing kindness. worship chaos.

skaven: funyy rat people, backstabbing and manipulation are hardcoded and second nature for them, their entire society is based off of warpstone, they smoke it, snort it, eat it, build buildings with it, make weapons and armour of it, use it to become stronger, cast magic with it, make nukes our of it, make vechiles out of it, sacrifice it, and would kill for it. worship the great horned rat, the fifth chaos god.

I love this ask

Thank you so much dear anon!

It sounds interesting! I'm curious- Is it a game? A movie? A series? 👁️👁️✨

I find completely adorable that the British called me a Kurgan lmao