#analysis of drug test results

[reallytoosublime]

Join Dr. Chris Walton in this eye-opening video as he tests three popular smart drugs on two different individuals. Smart drugs, known for their claims to boost memory, focus, and learning abilities, are put to the test in a unique experiment. Dr. Walton explores the effects of Modafinal, Noopept and Piracetam on the bodies of two healthy and fit individuals.

In the first part of the video, Dr. Walton introduces Modafinal, a well-publicized smart drug used by biohackers and Silicon Valley enthusiasts. Witness the real-time reactions of one participant, Tom, as Dr. Walton applies the drug and observes its impact on Tom's stress response. The results are surprising and raise important questions about the touted benefits of these smart drugs.

As the experiment continues, Dr. Walton tests two more smart drugs, Noopept, and Piracetam, on another participant, Chris from Primal Alchemy. The outcomes are consistent across the board, revealing stress responses in all three individuals. The video emphasizes that all drugs, despite claims of cognitive enhancement, have side effects and may induce stress reactions in the body.

The video challenges common beliefs about the positive effects of smart drugs and highlights potential drawbacks, even in young and healthy individuals. Dr. Walton emphasizes the importance of caution when considering such substances and encourages viewers to question the true impact of these drugs on overall health.

This video is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Consult with a healthcare professional before incorporating any smart drugs or nootropics into your routine.

Watch the video to gain valuable insights into the world of smart drugs and to make informed decisions about their potential effects on your well-being. Remember, not all that glitters is gold, especially when it comes to enhancing cognitive function. Stay informed, stay healthy

[twopoppies]

The article is in Spanish, but it's a very trustworthy source from Argentina. That Roger was a fucking leech, hope he rots in jail

https://www. infobae. com/sociedad/policiales/2024/11/08/pesos-argentinos-para-comprar-droga-negocios-en-comun-y-dias-libres-el-oscuro-control-de-rogelio-nores-sobre-liam-payne/

This is so fucking disturbing. I know fans have had a bad feeling about Roger for a while. It sounds like they weren’t wrong.

Today, Nores is charged with abandoning Liam Payne and killing him , as well as supplying and facilitating him with drugs, in a relationship that sources in the case describe as “almost Maradona-esque, a friend of the champion , like those who surrounded Diego at his worst .” To charge him, Madrea and his team analyzed 800 hours of footage from the CasaSur hotel and opened Liam’s phone. In addition, they took a large number of testimonies, including that of Liam’s father, Geoff Payne.

Liam's father said the same thing that the courts were able to confirm through the analysis of communications and the comparison of other testimonies: that Nores, after meeting Payne in Miami at the beginning of this year, became the force that dominated his life. If the Payne family wanted to know how the singer was, then they should contact Rogelio. He was not just another friend of Liam's, under any circumstances. Geoff Payne himself said it: "Roger" was always the intermediary. "He is better than ever," he would have told the family when asked.

And this explains the charge of abandonment of a person. It is not about the fact that the businessman did not come to the singer's aid, but about the long road that led to the CasaSur hotel.

The businessman would have become a sort of de facto manager . Although they did not have a specific contract in this regard, sources in the case say that Nores operated as an "investment advisor" and that they had business in common in view of Payne's possible return to the world stage. For this, the singer's recovery from his addiction to drugs and alcohol was key. He just had to be detoxified.

Nores accompanied Payne in a deep detoxification treatment in the United States. There, a psychiatrist prescribed sertraline, the antidepressant that was found in the toxicology test on the singer's body. The specialist said it clearly: if you mix alcohol and cocaine with sertraline, the result can be lethal.

Then, another treatment in Spain was carried out, which also failed. So they ended up in Argentina. Payne was put up in a prestigious five-star hotel that was used to hosting big rock stars. They kicked him out of there. They even visited a local psychiatrist, who testified in the file. After the five-star hotel, they both went to the Patagones polo club with the singer's last girlfriend, Kate Cassidy, where the singer was photographed wearing a helmet and heels on a horse. They spent a few days there. However, Payne quickly became nervous and left the place.

Thus, they arrived at the CasaSur hotel in Palermo on the Sunday before the death. Liam did not even have a bag. There, according to the testimonies and analysis that are part of the case of the prosecutor Madrea, Nores' control would have been much more evident, with alleged orders to the hotel staff to report each expense. Nores, this time, managed Payne's expenses , while receiving calls for each whiskey, champagne or tequila that the former One Direction member ordered, with physical money delivered at the reception. The evidence also speaks of "free days" when Liam could consume cocaine.

The day he died, precisely, was a “day off.”

Thus, Nores frequently returned to the hotel to top up the bill. Payne, meanwhile, insisted on the phone, asking for Argentine pesos to pay the dealers who offered him cocaine, with photos of the bags they offered him and the corresponding prices. The prosecution suspects that Nores had obtained cocaine for him himself, which led to the second charge against him.

Meanwhile, hotel cameras filmed Liam as he wandered the halls , drunk and with a distant look.

For the time being, Nores is free, with his passport handed over to the courts and a ban on leaving the country, while he awaits being summoned for questioning by Judge Laura Bruniard. Article 106 of the Criminal Code, which defines the crime of abandonment followed by death, speaks of “anyone who endangers the life or health of another, either by placing him or her in a situation of helplessness, or by abandoning to their fate a person who is incapable of taking care of himself or who must be maintained or cared for, or who the author himself has incapacitated .” Here, the alleged supply of narcotics plays a key role.

If convicted, he could face up to 15 years in prison. Given the amount of the sentence, the crime is not bailable.

[tomorrowusa]

I think that Biden should have accepted the drug test challenge – but with a major twist.

BOTH candidates should have their blood fully analyzed with the results made public.

I'd love to know what's flowing through Trump's bloodstream. Those 12 Diet Cokes® he drinks every day probably send his caffeine levels into the stratosphere. And given that Trump's White House Dr. Ronny Johnson Jackson freely distributed prescription drugs as if they were candy, it would be unusual if Trump himself had not been a recipient.

Trump’s White House Was ‘Awash in Speed’ — and Xanax

Trump bragged about his high testosterone level in an interview with Dr. Oz before he was elected. It would be enlightening to compare that 2016 level to 2024. If it's higher now, that's a sign that he's getting injections.

A Trump blood sample might also contain some interesting surprises. Trump's eating habits are even worse than those of the pre-vegan days of Bill Clinton. And Trump's father Fred had dementia for six years before he died.

Medical analysis may offer an explanation for Trump's wacky and disturbed rantings.

[macgyvermedical]

History of Lidocaine please?

Lidocaine was discovered in Sweden in the early 1940s.

About 1/3 of the surgeries at the time, including hernia repair and goiter, were done under local or regional anesthesia. The drug of choice for this was procaine. And frankly, procaine kind of sucked.

It was stored as a powder and needed to be mixed with saline and epinephrine very carefully in order to be useful. It degraded quickly in this mixture and was only effective for about 17 minutes once injected. It was also toxic at repeated or high doses. So surgeons had to be fairly quick about their surgeries.

And the room was there for a longer-acting, less toxic local anesthetic agent.

In 1943 a compound called LL30 was discovered. The lab personnel that discovered it had done a quick test on their own tongues, which anesthetized well. But it needed to be proven against procaine in both toxicity and effectiveness before a product could really be sold.

In 1944 the trials began. A man named Dr. Torsten Gordh headed up the experiments, using colleagues, patients, and students as test subjects. For the colleagues and patients, he offered the equivalent of about $16 in 2024 money to be in the study. For the students, they could choose between a copy of Gordh's thesis or a packet of American cigarettes.

Most of them chose the cigarettes.

The results were so stunningly superior to procaine that statistical analysis was never done. LL30 lasted a stunning 70 minutes compared to procaine's 17. It was also significantly less toxic, meaning more of it could be used.

LL30 would later be designated as lidocaine and sold under the brand name Xylocaine, which is still used today.

[cardiacreports2]

Autopsy Report

Case Number: 2024-1125-01 Decedent Name: Chad Evanston Age: 19 Sex: Male Height: 5’11” Weight: 154 lbs (estimated lean build) Race/Ethnicity: Caucasian Date of Death: November 24, 2024 Time of Autopsy: November 25, 2024, 9:00 AM Pathologist: Dr. Robert Linfield

I. External Examination

General Appearance: The decedent is a well-developed, lean, and athletic-appearing 19-year-old male, weighing approximately 154 pounds. He has brown hair, approximately 3 inches in length, and brown eyes. Skin is pale but otherwise unremarkable, with no evidence of external trauma or defensive injuries. Fingernails are clean and well-trimmed.

Clothing: The decedent was found dressed in athletic attire, including a blue baseball cap, black athletic shorts, a running watch on the left wrist, and well-worn running shoes. The clothing was damp due to environmental exposure but showed no tears or stains of significance beyond expected post-mortem findings.

Identifying Marks: A faint scar measuring 2 cm is present on the left knee, consistent with prior minor trauma or surgery. No tattoos or other distinguishing marks.

II. Internal Examination

Cardiovascular System: The heart is notably abnormal upon inspection. Weighing 390 grams (upper end of normal for the decedent's size and build), the heart exhibits significant thickening of the left ventricle (left ventricular hypertrophy). The mitral valve shows marked structural abnormalities, including:

Fibrotic thickening of the leaflets.

Mild calcification at the annulus.

Evidence of prolapse of the posterior leaflet, causing incomplete coaptation during closure. This structural defect resulted in significant mitral regurgitation, which would have led to reduced cardiac efficiency during exertion.

Examination of the coronary arteries reveals no signs of atherosclerosis or narrowing. However, microscopic examination identifies mild interstitial fibrosis in the ventricular myocardium, particularly in the left ventricle. These findings are consistent with chronic strain and early-stage cardiomyopathy, likely exacerbated by prolonged high-intensity physical activity.The conduction system shows mild scarring near the sinoatrial node, likely the origin of the arrhythmias detected on the decedent's running watch.

Lungs: The lungs weigh 520 grams (right) and 480 grams (left), with mild congestion. Examination shows no emboli or aspirated material.

Abdominal Organs: All abdominal organs, including the liver, spleen, kidneys, and gastrointestinal tract, appear normal in size and morphology.

Brain: Examination of the brain reveals no hemorrhages, infarcts, or structural abnormalities.

III. Microscopic Findings

Heart Tissue: Histological examination of the heart confirms chronic myocardial fibrosis and focal areas of myocyte disarray. These findings are indicative of longstanding structural abnormalities and stress-induced cardiac remodeling.

Lung Tissue: Pulmonary alveoli appear congested but otherwise unremarkable.

Valvular Tissue: Fibrosis and calcification of the mitral valve tissue are evident, along with cellular degeneration, consistent with a congenital or acquired valvular defect exacerbated over time.

IV. Toxicology Report

Testing for substances, including recreational drugs, alcohol, and common stimulants, returned negative results.

V. Cause of Death

Sudden cardiac arrest secondary to severe mitral valve dysfunction and associated arrhythmia.

Detailed Analysis of Cardiac Findings

The decedent's heart exhibited chronic and progressive mitral valve disease. The fibrotic and calcified changes in the mitral valve likely originated from an undiagnosed congenital defect, aggravated over time by physical exertion. The incomplete closure of the mitral valve resulted in backflow of blood (regurgitation) during systole, progressively overloading the left atrium and left ventricle. Over time, this stress led to the observed hypertrophy and scarring of the myocardium.

The combination of myocardial fibrosis and conduction system scarring predisposed the decedent to severe arrhythmias. The running watch data corroborates this, showing prolonged arrhythmic episodes throughout the decedent's final run.

The sustained stress of a nine-mile run caused the decedent’s heart to become electrically unstable, leading to ventricular fibrillation—a fatal arrhythmia resulting in sudden cardiac arrest. The autopsy findings, supported by wearable device data, confirm that this event was precipitated by his preexisting cardiac abnormalities.

Despite being otherwise healthy and athletic, the decedent’s heart was structurally compromised, making high-intensity exercise particularly dangerous. The mitral valve's dysfunction was significant enough that even mild to moderate exertion may have posed a risk over time.

Conclusion: Chad Evanston’s death was due to undiagnosed and progressive cardiac pathology exacerbated by prolonged physical exertion. This case highlights the critical need for screening individuals engaging in high-intensity activities for underlying heart conditions.

Final Manner of Death: Natural

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

by Hannah Buttle

Editor’s note: This article contains a brief mention of suicidal ideation.

Key points you should know:

There are currently no approved treatments for Long COVID and progress on clinical trials has been slow. Some medications can improve people’s quality of life, but they may not work for everyone.

With few choices, rejected disability claims, financial instability, and little support, some people with the disease have turned to online pharmacies, often based in India, to source potential medications.

Popular choices include medications used to treat conditions like HIV, hepatitis C, and acute COVID-19. Some of these drugs are being tested in upcoming clinical trials for Long COVID.

Buying medications online from unknown sellers can be risky; buyers might not receive the correct medication or even receive something harmful.

However, many people with Long COVID feel their quality of life has declined so severely that these risks are worth taking. With no approved treatments, lack of support, and stigma against the disease, many people with Long COVID are using overseas pharmacies to source medications. Some of these treatments are widely used for other conditions, such as HIV and hepatitis C, but are not approved for use in Long COVID.

“I was in such a desperate situation,” said Rafael, who lives in the U.K. and developed Long COVID in 2021. “I was bedbound, and I was within months of losing my job, which would then mean losing my home. So I didn’t have much to lose.”

Rafael bought several months’ worth of Maraviroc, an HIV drug, from a seller in India via WhatsApp. Soon after taking the Maraviroc, Rafael had a significant improvement in symptoms, although he was taking other medications at the same time.

“If I wasn’t so debilitated by Long COVID, I probably wouldn’t have taken the risk,” Rafael said.

The Sick Times spoke to several people with Long COVID who had used online pharmacies to import medications from abroad. Because importing medication can be illegal in certain circumstances, many sources interviewed for this article asked to be identified by their first name only or by a pseudonym.

Popular choices for people with Long COVID included the acute COVID-19 antiviral Paxlovid, the HIV drugs Maraviroc and Truvada, and the hepatitis C drug Sofosbuvir. Maraviroc and Truvada are currently being evaluated in an upcoming clinical trial at the Cohen Center for Recovery from Complex Chronic Illness, but results are not expected until at least early 2026.

Some people with Long COVID find some relief with off-label medications like low-dose naltrexone, but many told The Sick Times their doctors won’t prescribe these treatments. Even when doctors are willing to consider off-label treatments, health insurance often will not cover them.

Few treatments in sight The slow progress on clinical trials for Long COVID has been a source of frustration for both researchers and patients. The pharmaceutical industry has expressed little interest in finding treatments for the disease. Studies through the RECOVER initiative, launched by the U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH), have primarily focused on observational approaches, such as asking people with Long COVID to track their symptoms, though the initiative is now planning new trials.

An analysis by The Sick Times found that fewer than a quarter of clinical trials for Long COVID are drug interventions, as of November 2024.

(interactive graph here)

Even when clinical trials take place, there is no guarantee of a “one-size-fits-all” treatment for Long COVID, said Ondine Sherwood, CEO of Long COVID SOS, a charity in the U.K. representing people with the disease. Currently, the available drugs may help only with specific symptoms or may work only for certain subsets of people with Long COVID.

Given the severity of symptoms and widespread government abandonment, it is unsurprising that some people with Long COVID have taken risks to seek relief from their symptoms since the beginning of the pandemic. Past unapproved treatments have included HELP apheresis, an expensive procedure that removes blood from a vein, filters the blood, and returns the filtered blood to the body. Many have also tried triple anticoagulant therapy, in which patients take aspirin, clopidogrel, and a blood thinner like Apixaban to break down small blood clots, called microclots. There is a high bleeding risk associated with triple anticoagulant therapy.

For many people with Long COVID, however, anything that offers a chance of improvement may seem worthwhile. Survey data suggest that the quality of life of someone with Long COVID can be worse than that of someone with stage four cancer. People with Long COVID may also be at a higher risk for suicidal ideation.

Financial insecurity can also drive people with Long COVID to consider experimental treatments, as many are out of work, behind on housing payments, and facing other financial challenges.

Some doctors may be willing to prescribe medications off-label for Long COVID and related conditions, like dysautonomia and mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS). Commonly prescribed drugs include beta-blockers, which lower heart rate, for dysautonomia, or H1 and H2 antihistamines for MCAS.

Dysautonomia drugs can lead to “massive improvement” for some, said Dr. Asad Khan, who worked as a respiratory doctor in the U.K. before developing Long COVID. For example, a beta blocker could bring down a patient’s heart rate while posing a limited risk, he said.

But some off-label treatments could carry higher risks, especially without a doctor’s oversight, said Khan: “You've got people taking anticoagulants and various other drugs that can affect the kidney, and the liver, and can have effects on the nervous system, and nobody's monitoring. The problems could be quite serious, and it could even be fatal.”

However, doing nothing for a patient can also put them in danger, said Khan. For instance, some research indicates that COVID-19 can lead to a higher risk of heart attacks and strokes for years after the infection.

People with Long COVID echoed these concerns. “I worry that, the longer we wait, the higher the destruction in our bodies,” said Lena, from Germany, who has had the disease since 2021.

After a difficult few months of symptoms, Lena decided to buy a generic form of Truvada, an HIV medication, through an online pharmacy. While she was scared, “pure despair” led her to try the medication, she said.

“I was having suicidal ideation,” she said. “If you have to weigh up how I was feeling versus taking an unknown pill, there’s no contest.” Many people with Long COVID who spoke to The Sick Times felt that buying medication online was their only choice.

How online pharmacies work Without a doctor to recommend the correct drug and dosage, many people with Long COVID receive advice from online social media groups. Users share tips on which drugs had worked for them, how to slowly increase the dosage of medications, and which side effects to expect.

Most of those interviewed by The Sick Times reported purchasing drugs without a prescription, either from national online pharmacies or from India via services like IndiaMart, an online marketplace. India is the world's largest exporter of generic pharmaceuticals.

“For me, what helped was a combination of ten days of Paxlovid and Sofosbuvir,” an antiviral drug for hepatitis C, said Tiff, from the U.S., who developed Long COVID in 2020. Tiff had read online about other people finding relief from the disease with these medications. She asked a friend to bring them back from India and had a significant decline in symptoms.

“I felt like I did pre-2020,” she said. “I had energy. I felt wonderful. No [Post-exertional malaise (PEM)] crash, no brain fog, no symptoms, nothing.” Tiff was later reinfected with SARS-C0V-2, and her Long COVID symptoms returned. She once again bought Sofosbuvir and Paxlovid from a seller in India and saw an improvement.

Lower prices offer another incentive to buy medications from abroad. Take Paxlovid, which can cost as much as $1,400 for a five-day course in the U.S., while a generic version from India costs just $103.

Sofia lives in Austria and has Long COVID. “In Austria, it would cost €40,000 for four months of Sofosbuvir,” she said, which “would be unaffordable.”

An anonymous Twitter/X user offered to help Sofia. She sent him €200, and he bought the medication in India and took it back to Europe. Since taking the Sofosbuvir, Sofia said she went from 40% to 60% of her previous level of functioning.

Risks and regulations Generic medications in the U.S., U.K., and Europe are commonly exported from India. But those exported through official channels are often subject to stricter regulatory standards than the medications available to locals. For those who have bought medications online from abroad, confirming the medications are safe can be difficult.

“We don’t have a functional regulatory system in India,” said Dinesh Thakur, a drug-safety advocate and former pharmaceutical executive. Online markets like IndiaMart have no safety guarantee.

“In the best-case scenario, the product may not contain enough of the active ingredient,” he said. “In the worst-case scenario, an injectable may contain endotoxins [harmful substances released by bacteria].”

If buyers from outside India have a bad experience, it would be difficult to hold a foreign company to account, Thakur added.

Nonetheless, many who spoke to The Sick Times felt that, despite the risks involved, they had to try something to relieve their symptoms.

“The symptoms grind you down so much, the risk calculus changes,” said Chris, from the UK, who has had Long COVID since 2020. “There is no help coming, nothing on the horizon.”

The World Health Organization has a checklist for gauging the safety of medicines purchased online. Tips include looking out for unusual activity on your credit card, checking security seals, and ensuring the batch number and expiry date on the package match throughout.

People with Long COVID may also be able to access off-label medications from more reliable sources. For instance, some online clinics may prescribe medications after a consultation. RTHM, a U.S.-based online clinic, offers a prescribing service for certain off-label medications for Long COVID, including low-dose naltrexone, beta-blockers for dysautonomia, and ketotifen for MCAS. In the U.K., those with a confirmed diagnosis of Long COVID or ME can buy low-dose naltrexone through Dicksons Chemist.

Another option for a small number of those with Long COVID is to join a clinical trial — though depending on the trial’s setup, some participants may receive a placebo instead of a drug.

Without the oversight of a pharmacist, taking a DIY approach to medications could also lead to dangerous medication interactions, even when the drugs are high quality. Paxlovid, for example, interacts with many drugs people take for Long COVID. These include ivabradine, some statins, and HIV medications. The University of Liverpool offers a COVID-19 drug interactions checker, which could help those using drugs like Paxlovid.

Regular blood tests could also help monitor for side effects. Truvada and Maraviroc can increase liver enzymes, and patients who take these medications for HIV prevention and HIV are advised to monitor liver enzymes regularly. Rafael, who bought Maraviroc, said he received monthly liver checks while taking the drug. These tests, which individuals can do privately without a GP referral, cost around £50 ($60) in the U.K.

Even if medications are safe, they are not guaranteed to work. People with Long COVID risk spending hundreds to thousands of dollars without success. New drugs could also lead to worse symptoms and significantly worsen a person’s health baseline.

Chris tried several medications, including Maraviroc and blood thinners, but has seen few improvements in symptoms. “You end up becoming your own guinea pig because nothing else is happening,” he said.

“It’s easy to depict people as reckless and not understanding the risks. But that’s not the case at all. Everyone understands the risks —they’re doing it because they’ve got no choice.”

[rynnthefangirl]

Okay, so I finally got around to watching Fall of the House of Usher, and I have so many thoughts. I especially loved all the cool ways that the deaths of the siblings play into their individual characters, and I may or may not eventually do an analysis for each of them. But for right now I want to talk about one of my favorite stories and deaths in the show, Leo's.

So with Leo, everything with the cats is symbolic of his own sins plaguing him. Specifically, like many of the Ushers, Leo expects to get what he wants without bearing any responsibility for his actions, and this is exemplified by his relationship with Jules. He clearly wants to be in a relationship with Jules, and I think he does get more out of it that just sexual pleasure. However, he only cares what HE can get from the relationship, and doesn't consider his partner's desires and feelings. Leo regularly cheats on Jules, a betrayal he knows would hurt Jules but he simply does not care as long as he gets away with it. He values drugs more than he does his partner, and ignores or shuts down any discomfort or concern Jules has with his drug abuse. He won't even properly acknowledge Jules as his partner by bringing him around to meet the family, an action that would give more seriousness to their relationship and perhaps raise the expectations for how Leo should behave.

Leo's hallucination of killing Pluto is a subconscious manifestation of his failures as a boyfriend. It parallels his infidelity: he does something horrible that would break Jules' heart (fittingly as a result of drugs), and instead of feeling remorse for what he has done, he is more preoccupied with how to avoid getting caught. Except now it's no longer a girl that he can hide out on a balcony, but an irreplaceable beloved pet. Despite this severity of the situation, Leo persists in trying to hide his sins, to prioritize his own comfort and desires over honesty and trust.

So Leo goes to the pet store to find a replacement cat, and Verna is waiting for him. And this is where his test comes in, the chance to change his fate that Verna gives all the siblings. Option 1 is to leave with another cat who needs a home, and resign himself to the consequences of his crime. Had he done that, he certainly would have found that Pluto was actually unharmed, which may perhaps (although I could be excessively optimistic here) have even served as a wake up call that the drugs are becoming a problem. He would've died regardless, but he could've died peacefully and somewhat redeemed, instead of traumatizing himself and his boyfriend. Option 2 is to take the easy way out, the way that avoids all responsibility, and use his wealth and power to get the perfect replacement kitty Verna tempts him with. Leo of course, chooses the second option.

In fitting irony, Leo's attempts to avoid consequence straps him with the biggest consequence of all. The cat is seemingly out to get him, hissing and scratching as if she's directly punishing him for his choices. Interestingly, the cat herself also seems to mirror Leo. Leo satisfies himself with drugs and women, bringing them into the home he shares with Jules with no concern for Jules' feelings; the cat satisfies herself by killing small animals, bringing their corpses to the apartment with no concern for Leo's discomfort. Considering the animals as a symbol of Leo's infidelity, it's fitting that the first one is found in their bed as Jules is performing oral sex on Leo and that the discovery of it results in them being interrupted and Jules being hurt. The cat also explicitly stares down Leo in this scene, as if in judgement for him enjoying his boyfriend while he himself is unfaithful and gives nothing in return. Verna later herself explicitly draws a connection between cats and Roderick Usher, saying that they both destroy to fulfill a deficiency in themselves. The same could be said for any of the Usher children however, Leo included.

Of course, being tormented by a manifestation of his sins (combined with the drugs) begins to drive Leo insane. We see further parallels between the cat and Leo, as both suffer eye injuries at the hands of the other. Leo eventually tries to kill the cat with a hammer, which is naturally as fruitless an endeavor as taking a hammer to the abstract idea of personal failure. All he manages to destroy in his rampage is the home he shares with Jules— yes, the cat is a literal homewrecker.

I don't think Verna's choice in which cat to bring home was actually Leo's point of no return, but simply the last moment that she herself will try to intervene and convince him down another path. Even without Verna talking him down, Leo has two moments of near clarity during his rampage, both of which center around Jules. One is early on in his delusions, when he realizes that what he's seeing is crazy and muses that maybe Jules was right about the drugs. The second is when Jules comes home, and Leo realizes first that Jules cannot see the woman and cat in the wall and then that there is no woman and cat in the wall at all. In both these moments, Jules could serve as a lifeline to Leo, but to take hold of that lifeline Leo would need to put aside himself and his obsession, to ignore the cat taunting him and instead put his focus on his boyfriend. Admit that Jules was right about the drugs, admit that Jules can see more clearly than him. But Leo cannot do this. He sees the cat on the balcony, and all thoughts of Jules are wiped from his mind. He HAS to get the cat, he HAS destroy the symbol of his sins so he can continue to live free of consequence. And that final decision, that refusal to listen to Jules and put aside his immediate selfish impulses, dooms him. He flings himself right off the building, not only killing himself but emotionally destroying his boyfriend, as he was always going to do.

[teabanksia]

Mr Schwartz

In 2022 when this song was first performed live prior to the album's release, I wrote this analysis of the lyrics. It's all on Genius lyrics as annotations but I wanted to put it permanently here in case it ever gets edited or deleted. My analysis was disproven by Matt Helders and Alex Turner themselves in this interview (4:40 onwards) however I believe it is still a decent interpretation. This will only be discussing Mr Schwartz through Delmore Schwartz.

Note that I wrote this 2 years ago and am barely editing it for this post, my 15 year old mind was not very smart, so it's clunky. I'm only posting this for myself.

Notable context: one of Alex Turner's playlists is titled "Del Schwartz" (short for Delmore Schwartz)

The song title and recurring character “Mr. Schwartz” makes reference to “Delmore Schwartz” an American poet. Delmore Schwartz had, according to his friends, gone into hiding for a year before dying alone from a heart attack as a result of his drugs and alcohol addiction.

The first line “Put your heavy metal to the test” is a play on words. A heavy metal test examines the levels of metal in your blood stream (e.g. mercury, arsenic). There is known to be metal contamination in illicit drugs (a recurring theme of the song is alcohol and drug usage, as seen in Mr. Schwartz, Delmore Schwartz’s death.

“There might be half a love song in it all for you.”

If you only write someone half a love song, you aren’t really that in love with them are you? This could also be critique on people looking to deep into lyrics, trying to find something about love to relate to, or want to relate to.

"Smudging dubbing on your dancing shoes."

This could be commentary on “fans” wanting Arctic Monkeys to return to their old sound (debut album track, Dancing Shoes) A lot of fans were taken back by the new direction of the band with Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino, and disappointed that The Car is a continuation of that. The audience thinks they’re entitled to what kind of music the band makes, but they wont (and can’t) make the same music forever. The line is talking about fans wanting them to return to their old style, which won’t happen.

"if we guess who I'm pretending to be do we win a prize? Having attempted twice both incorrectly do we get a third try?"

These lines talk about insecurity. The persona is masking himself to be someone else for the view of others.

However it could also be the complete opposite, that Alex is showing the real him, but people (the audience) insist on saying he isn’t, as if he’s “pretending and forcing himself to act to fit the perception of himself for others," when he is not. This could be commentary on how fans talk about him, acting as if they know him. They keep guessing incorrectly, because who he shows himself to be, is the real him.

The bridge: “If we guess who I’m pretending to be, do we win a prize? Having attempted twice, both incorrectly. Do we get a third try?” is written from the perspective of the audience.

"The gloved hands reaching in to hit the switch. There's not one god damn thing that you can do about it."

The line “hit the switch” is referring to the peripeteia (The point of no return, something that someone does which seals their fate, and are usually destined to die.) of this character’s story. “There’s not one god damn thing you can do about this” makes a referral to the characters peripeteia.

Given the references throughout the song to the poet Delmore Schwartz we can assume that this line is referring to over-use of drugs and alcohol. This line isn’t directly referencing Delmore Schwartz, and is instead is talking about anyone the narrator is close with (or not) struggling with these issues. There’s only so much you can do to help someone who has gone to deep, and instead your forced to watch that persons life get cut short. You can try to help, but in most cases it’s fruitless. The narrator struggles with the realization that there’s nothing he can do to help the inevitable, whether it be this, in relation to Delmore Schwartz, death as whole, or something else entirely.

This is basically a long winded and pretentious way of saying "I think the song is about Delmore Schwartz" that I wrote when I was 15. It's not good and it's a bit embarrassing to post here but I want to keep it up somewhere. Not looking for critique, I'd write it differently now.

[nerdraging4point0]

Blood of Eden // Part Six // Noah Sebastian Urban Fantasy AU Fic

Tropes and Tags: MM, MF, MFM, MFM, instalove, too much sex, tattooed men, polyverse, shapeshifters.

CW: 18+ only minors DNI. Urban Fantasy romance, Smut. Angst. Fluff (ish), Story includes D/S themes, mentions of blood and gore, mentions of drug use and distribution, mentions of prostitution, unprotected sex, male receiving oral sex, female receiving oral sex, cuckolding, P/A sex, P/V sex.

This work below is fictionalized ideas and stories involving real people but does not directly reflect their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Please keep in mind that this is a work of fiction.

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Under the haunting glow of a single desk lamp, Jolly brooded in his shadowy office, pouring himself a glass of amber liquor. Noah sat silently in the corner, shirtless, as their new plaything slept serene in the room next door.

"What do you know about her?" Jolly asked, swirling the liquid ominously.

"Nothing, master," Noah confessed into the darkness. "She broke into the lab the night we met. Oli and I hunted her down, but I can’t explain what possessed me..."

Jolly's eyes glinted knowingly. Holding up his hand to stop Noah’s rambling, "I have a theory," he uttered grimly.

Noah's brow furrowed as he rose from his seat, perching uneasily on the corner of Jolly's desk. Jolly sighed, massaging the tension from his temples before taking a long sip of whiskey. He had sensed it immediately - the moment he stepped into her apartment. Her blood was tainted. When she'd packed her bags to leave, he'd managed to retrieve the syringe from her things and sent it off for analysis. With a grave expression, he opened his email to show Noah the results.

"Nightshade. Mixed with several other chemicals to create some kind of depowering serum," he said ominously. "With the right measurements and equipment, this could mean real danger for all of us."

Jolly strokes his beard thoughtfully, his weary eyes fixed on the test results. "What troubles me is the serum has a powerful effect on her, if she were human I don’t think it would do anything other than make her violently ill.” 

Noah cocked his head to the side looking to the wall, where just on the other side she was slumbering. “She is no mage,” Jolly continued “I've searched our records and found no birth or family history for her. Without consent, I can’t trace her lineage further. And even then, the serum in her blood hinders my efforts."

Noah inquires in a gentle tone, "How long before the serum fades?"

Jolly sighed, setting his glass down on the desk, slumping in his office chair. "I can’t say for certain." His brow furrows with concern and unease over the mystery surrounding this unusual girl.

Noah tensed, his head snapping up as he swiveled to face the office door. Jolly followed his gaze, sensing what had startled him. The door creaked open and she tiptoed in, arms wrapped around herself protectively. Clad only in her underwear and a tank top, her tousled hair falling around her shoulders. Jolly glimpsed the fear in her eyes as she halted just inside the office, her wary gaze fixed on Noah. She seemed hesitant, as if ready to flee at any moment.

She froze a few steps away from the desk, her feet like lead weights refusing to carry her any closer. Noah and Rosa continued their intense gaze, oblivious to her presence. "You're real," she breathed.

Noah rose slowly from the desk, turning with deliberate caution to approach her.

"Steady now," Jolly murmured, sensing her apprehension. Though he could prevent what she was feeling, some instinct gave him pause. She shrank back as Noah neared, his imposing height and brisk stride striking fear in her, her face turning pale.

"There now, it's alright," Jolly soothed, watching as Noah gradually closed the gap between them, his towering frame looming over her trembling form. "He won’t hurt you, pretty girl."

Her limbs were trembling, arms crossing over her body attempting to steady herself. Jolly breathed in deep, letting out a sigh before turning his eyes to Noah. 

"Kneel," he ordered, his voice firm but not unkind. Noah didn’t need to look his master's way, he obeyed without hesitation, sinking to the floor. His eyes remained fixed on her, radiating the strength and compassion that allowed her to trust him completely. 

“Go ahead,” Jolly said gently. Rosa slowly unfolded her arms, her fingers grazing Noah's cheek before cradling his face in her palm. With a tender caress of her thumb across his cheekbone, Rosa's breath escaped her parted lips as understanding dawned in her soft features. Noah purred contentedly, nestling into the comfort of her touch.

“That night, on the roof,” her voice cracked. Noah's hand encircled her wrist as he gently pushed her back. In an instant, his body shifted, morphing into the form of a four-legged beast. Sitting calmly with sadness in his large, dark eyes, the hound regarded her softly. Though changed on the outside, Noah still remained within.

Covering her face in shock, she staggered backward, tripping over her own feet and crashing to the floor. Jolly shot up from his chair and rushed to her side in an instant. Noah rose to his feet, but a wave of his master's hand sent him back down, sitting on his haunches and awaiting his next command.

"No, no, no. This can't be real. Just a hallucination, a figment of my imagination. It's not possible," she muttered, shaking her head and rambling in a panic as Jolly pulled her against his chest.

"Shhh, pretty girl. Rosa, take it easy. I can explain everything," he soothed, brushing her hair with his hands as she trembled in his grasp.

Golden light from the setting sun filtered into the apartment, bathing everything in its warm glow. Noah's head rested in her lap, his eyes closed in peaceful slumber. She had been gently running her fingers through his soft brown hair for the past hour, and the soothing motion had lulled him into a deep sleep. Though her legs were starting to tingle and go numb beneath his weight, she didn't have the heart to disturb his rest. Something about watching Noah's chest rise and fall steadily filled her with tenderness. So she sat perfectly still, despite the pins and needles in her legs.

It was all almost too much for her to take in at once. Mages, magic, multiple dimensions - Jolly's revelations earlier that day had left her reeling. She had wept until she was hiccuping and gasping for breath, completely overwhelmed. Noah had simply gathered her up in his strong arms when her legs gave out, carrying her back to the plush bedroom and laying her gently on the bed. He then settled himself in her lap, a comforting presence as she continued to process everything she had learned.

He lies next to her, his chest rising and falling steadily as he drifts into slumber. The rhythm of his breathing is soothing, a balm to her fraying nerves. But even as the room darkens with the fading light, her mind continues to race, thoughts crashing together like waves breaking upon rocks. She is torn between the comfort of his presence and the chaos of her own uncertainty. His tranquility is a stark contrast to the tempest that rages within her.

The door creaks open and in steps Jolly, his features illuminated by the soft orange hues. He moves cautiously, not wanting to wake the sleeping Noah. A smile spreads across Jolly's face as he spots the two of them snuggled up together on the bed. He tiptoes over and carefully sits on the edge, gazing down at the heartwarming scene with joyful affection. The tranquil atmosphere envelops them all as the day gives way to night.

Noah's eyes fluttered open to find Jolly's kind face smiling down at him. "It's time for you to go to work," Jolly said softly, though Rosa's heart sank. She didn't want this perfect moment to end. Rosa wished Noah could stay here with her forever.

Jolly reached out, brushing his fingers against Rosa's cheek as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Don't worry," he murmured. "Noah will just be downstairs if we need him."

Noah sat up stretching his long limbs, taking her face in his large hands, his warm lips pressed softly against her forehead as he cradled her face. The tender kiss lingered for a moment before he pulled away, leaving her longing for more. Turning to Jolly, Noah placed one last gentle kiss on his master's lips. She watched wistfully as Noah hopped off the bed, stealing one final glance back into the room, his eyes filled with affection. As he disappeared down the hall, she sighed contentedly, cherishing the sweet intimacy they had just shared.

She whispers the question into the stillness of the room, her voice trembling, "Who am I now?" She does not expect a reply from Jolly, but he sighs deeply, gathering her legs into his lap. His strong hands begin massaging her feet, working out the tension that has built up within her.

"Now?" His deep voice rumbles in response. "You're here with me, sweet girl. Right by my side where I can keep you safe."

His fingertips dig into her arches, soothing away the ache she feels. "Noah and I won't let anyone or anything come for you. You belong to us. We'll protect what's ours."

His words wrap around her like a warm blanket, comforting and shielding her. A lump forming in the back of her throat, “You can’t save me from me.”

She feels her breath catch as his thoughts drift to what's coming. The moment when the shots wear off and it returns. A shiver runs through her. She doesn't want to think about it, but she can't stop the thoughts from swirling through her mind. The agony that awaits, the pain that will wrack her body. Rosa wraps her arms around herself, as if she could protect herself from what's to come. But she knows that when the medication fades, there will be no escape. The torment will find her again, just as it always does. She squeezes her eyes shut, wishing she could block it all out. But there is no blocking this out.

Jolly's voice came out in a low, predatory purr. He leaned closer to her, his dark eyes gleaming with possessiveness. "Oh yes, my precious one. I most certainly can."

The words dripped from his lips like honey, sweet yet dangerous. He looked ready to consume her, to claim her as his own. There was an alpha edge to him, a dominant protectiveness that both thrilled and frightened her. He would keep her safe, keep her close. She had no doubt.

His hands grip her thighs, parting them gently as he settles his muscular frame between her legs. She sits up on her palms before his hand presses into her chest, softly easing her back  down into the bed.

 "Easy, pretty girl," he murmurs, trailing kisses along her cheek and nose before finding her lips in a tender caress. His voice is a low rumble as he pulls back to meet her gaze. "Let me take your mind off your troubles tonight, baby. Just relax and let me make you feel good."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him against her with an urgent need. This was exhilarating yet unsettling - emotions she had never felt before. The Mage blood, Jolly had said. Magic calls to magic. The magnetic pull of her soul beckoned him, drawing her irresistibly into his orbit like a moth to a flame. He was the dominant force, exerting his gravitational power, pulling her ever closer like the moon to the earth. She felt helpless to resist, powerless against the primal attraction, needing to be one with him. His raw masculine energy called to her feminine essence, two halves of the same whole destined to unite. But it wasn’t just Jolly that consumed her with desire. It was the beast in sheep’s clothing, whose fire burned in his eyes when he looked at them both. She wanted Noah to envelope her in his strong embrace, to feel his fierce protection. The primal beast within ignited her own. This captivating man awakened something deep inside her, a connection she didn't yet understand but yearned to explore.

"How long before it wears off?" she breathes between fervent kisses, her hands hungrily roaming through his hair and down his muscular back, desperate for more of him.

"Who knows, darling," he growls in her ear, his lips trailing hot kisses down her neck as his strong hands caress her body. "Could be weeks, but one thing I do know..." He pauses to nip at her collarbone, eliciting a gasp of pleasure. "The more we get that delicious blood of yours pumping..." His fingers trail down her stomach, eliciting delicious shivers. "The faster you'll burn it off."

As Jolly’s hands glide up her torso, pushing her shirt higher, a shiver of anticipation courses through her. His touch ignites her skin, each caress stoking the fire within. “So soft,” he murmurs, trailing kisses down her neck to her chest, his warm mouth leaving a blazing trail across her flushed skin. 

With a hunger in his eyes, Jolly's hands roamed down her curves, his fingers curling around the lace of her panties. In one smooth motion, he stripped them off, exposing her fully to his ardent gaze.  Her legs wrapped around his waist as if they had a mind of their own, pulling him closer as their bodies moved together. She could feel his cock pressing against her thigh, moaning at the sweet pressure. She held him tighter, wordlessly pleading for more, and his knowing smile against her lips told her he understood.

"You want this as much as I do, don't you pretty girl?" he murmured, his nose brushing hers intimately. She nodded, their noses rubbing tenderly, ready and willing to give herself to him completely.

He gazed at her with desire burning in his eyes, his body aching to feel her surround him. "Come to me, sweet girl," he whispered hoarsely, rolling onto his back, shimmying out of his pants, and beckoning her closer.

She straddled his lap, her heart pounding as she took his thick, hard length in her hands. With gentle yet firm hands, he caressed her face, turning it so their eyes met in a moment of ecstasy. "Let me see that beautiful face as you take me in," he murmured, his voice thick with passion. Slowly she sank down, enveloping him in her velvety heat, gasping as he stretched and filled her so exquisitely. "That's it, gorgeous," Jolly rasped, his words stoking the fire within. 

She gasped as he slid into her, the friction sending sparks through her body. "You feel so good, baby," he growled, his strong hands guiding her hips. She began to rock slowly, savoring the feeling of him filling her up. His eyes were closed in ecstasy, lips parted as he held back moans. She wanted more. Her body ached for release, and she knew he needed it too, that primal urge driving him wild. She rode him harder, faster, crying out at the exquisite sensations. He thrust up into her, muscles taut, focused only on their shared pleasure. She was close, so close, his hands and body pushing her towards the edge. "Come for me," he commanded, his gravelly voice soaked in desire. She shattered around him, ecstasy crashing through her in waves. Flopping down onto his chest as she caught her breath.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, his voice husky and low. He kissed her deeply, passionately, their tongues dancing. She was dizzy, drunk on his kisses, his touch, the way he possessed her so completely.

"Mmm, you feel so good wrapped tight around me, baby," he groaned, thrusting deep inside her dripping heat. She whimpered, lost in ecstasy as he filled her again and again. His dirty words in her ear made her clench around him.

"That's right, come for me. I want to feel you let go."

She cried out as her pleasure crested, drowning in sensation. He held her close, murmuring praise and encouragement.

"So perfect, just like that."

His lips grazed her throat, teasing her tender skin. She clung to him, gasping his name like a prayer. He increased his pace, driving into her relentlessly.

"One more, pretty girl. I know you have it in you."

His fingers found her clit, circling with just the right pressure. Her body sang, arching and tensing as she rocketed over the edge again. His groan rumbled against her body as he followed, spilling deep inside her pulsing heat.

They collapsed together, replete. He stroked her face tenderly, gazing at her with adoration.

"You good, baby?"

She nodded, smiling dreamily. He had taken her apart and put her back together again, leaving her thoroughly satisfied.

[sweetmage]

37 for v and vik

11 for handers

Hiiii! Thank you so much for the prompts! I'm gonna write the Handers one in a second post (will tag you) but here's the V and Viktor one 😊

36. A kiss without a motive

CW mentions of sex and drug use (none happening on screen) and large age gap (obviously).

I'll put the fic below the cut 😊 The boys are falling in love!!

---

Through a series of clicks and hisses the clinic door slid open and the security gate followed. Heavy boots pounded the concrete floors and the scent of clove smoke overtook the sterile air. Viktor knew who it was without even looking up from the boxing match playing out on the tiny screen in front of him.

"Hey, V," he called out, taking a swig of bourbon from the bottle on his desk. "You in for a tune-up?"

"Guess you could say that," V replied, coming up behind him to rest his hands on his shoulders and chin on top of his head.

A smile crept over his features at the contact and he paused the playback to lean back and look up at him. "What's up?"

"You got time for me?"

"For you? Always. Well, usually."

"Who's winnin'?" V asked, nodding to the frozen image on the monitor in front of them.

"Good question. Seems pretty evenly matched. I've got money on the girl on the left though, she's got a killer right cross."

"Think I could take her?"

"Ehh, keep practicing those punches, maybe. Or upgrade your arms. No one's fighting fair these days. Speakin' of, you here to talk business or pleasure?" His hands came up to rest on V's, gently stroking over his skin with a hum.

"Hmm, let's call it a bit of both?"

"Okay, now I'm intrigued. Let's hear it."

V took a step away to give Vik some breathing room and pulled a small vial from his pocket. He tossed it to the older man who caught it in one hand, examining the viscous, dark fluid inside. "Need some help with an analysis," he said, coming back to stand at Vik's side.

"What the hell is it?"

"Blood."

"Whose?"

"Don't worry 'bout that. It's a favor for a friend."

Vik sighed, turning the vial over in his fingers. "You've got some strange friends, V. You know that?"

"Yeah. Tell me 'bout it." He gave a wry half smile and a shrug.

Rolling himself over to the workbench, Vik snapped on a pair of nitrile gloves and went about prepping a sample. "What am I looking for? Drugs? Toxins? Infection?" he asked as he loaded a small amount of blood onto a slide and slipped it into the scanner.

"Dunno," V replied, taking a seat on the desk, legs dangling. "Anythin' weird."

"Very specific," Vik said, rolling his eyes and slipping on a pair of reading glasses as he looked over the initial results on the display. "Well, it's definitely human. That's a start."

"Anything off?"

"Mm. Not sure. There's a few irregularities. I'll run some more tests."

He could feel V's eyes boring into the side of his head, could catch the slight smile on his lips in the reflection of the monitor.

"What?" he said, finally glancing over at him.

"Nothin'. Just think you're cute when you're workin', that's all."

"Cute?" he scoffed, features twisting in dismay. "Not cool? Or ruggedly handsome? I'll take any of those over 'cute'."

"Nah, cute works." He hopped down from the desk, coming up behind Vik once again, draping his arms around his shoulders and pressing his cheek up against his.

"V..." he warned

"Hmm?"

"Work now, play later," he said, even as he relaxed under V's touch.

"Didn't I just say business and pleasure?" he asked, lips pressing into Vik's neck.

Vik turned his attention back to the monitor for a moment before he reached up and pulled off the glasses. "Gonna take a while anyway. Might as well make yourself comfortable," he said, swiveling around in the chair to face V.

V took that as an invitation, leaning down to plant both hands on Vik's thighs while he moved in for a kiss. "I like the way you think, old man," he murmured, warm, spiced breath tickling his skin.

"I dunno if we've got that kind of time."

"Hmm?" V asked, lashes fluttering over dark, half-lidded eyes.

Vik's hand cupped his cheek, thumb brushing over the deep scar there. "You know."

"Woah, hey, just wanted some affection, I can keep it in my pants." He chuckled, pressing another kiss to his cheek.

Somehow that surprised him. "So... not that kind of pleasure?"

"Missed you," V said softly. "Been busy. Been a while since I just got to... y'know, relax."

Thus far their relationship had consisted of more than a few rushed nights and stolen moments. Their friendship was intact and their business relationship just as healthy, but it was merely sex that filled in the gaps. Wonderful and exciting as it was, that little voice remained in Vik's mind that nagged at him that he was just a convenient bedfellow. V, after all, was a free bird a third his age, the possibility that there was more to it than that seemed exceedingly unlikely. And yet...

"Missed you too."

"Bet you were busy as hell. Heard there's been a lot of action lately."

"Sure. No complaints here. Never can have too many eddies. You know how it is. Still found plenty of time to wish you were here, though."

Wish a swift but gentle motion, V wheeled him back against the desk then took up a perch on his lap.

"You, uh, sure you're not looking for something else? I can fit in a quickie," Vik said, though he wasn't convinced he meant it.

"Nah. Not in the mood. Like I said, just wanna relax. You mind? Should I move?" V asked, hands resting on his chest.

"Stay," Vik replied, fingers curling around his hips, pulling him in closer so their lips could meet again.

"Why you actin' all weird about this? I mean, if you'd prefer—"

"No," he cut him off. "It's not like that. Just wasn't expecting it. You don't usually swing by just to chat."

"My bad..." V murmured, eyes downcast. "Didn't think you'd want that from me. Figured I'd better come bringin' dick or eddies if I wanted to stop by."

"That's not—" he sighed, trying to bite back his own emotions. "What the hell did I do to give you that impression? We were friends long before... all of this. Was kinda hopin' we still were."

"Course we are," V defended, brows knitting together.

"So what's with the hangdog look? And why would you think I only care about your body or your wallet?"

"Heh, really puttin' me on the spot here... no mercy." He sighed, running a nervous hand through his curls. "I mean it's good, damn good, you and me. I'm not lookin' to ruin that. I dunno if we're on the same page but—"

"I can't figure out if you're about to tell me this was all a mistake or that you've fallen madly in love with me."

V sputtered, the words catching in his throat. "Shit, Vik, I— yeah. Maybe a little."

"Which?"

"Both?"

That was... something. "Both, huh? You've lost me, kid. You're gonna have to spell it out for me."

"Christ, okay. It's like this: I like you. Like, really fuckin' like you. Like more than a friend or a doc or a lay. But I'm not an gonk, I know a fling's a fling and I don't expect anythin' out of it. Still doesn't stop me from feelin' the way I do. Sometimes I don't wanna fuck or get a tune-up, just wanna be held and kissed and told nice things and shit. Ugh, and here I am making a huge ass outta myself."

"V..." he started, but didn't quite know where to go. "You do realize how old I am, right?"

"Yeah. And?"

"And I'm a grizzled old ripper with a bum knee and a bad temper."

"And I'm a failed merc with the shelf life of a carton of synth-milk. What's your point? 'Cause right now, it sounds like a whole lotta bullshit."

When V put it like that, it really did. "Point is..." He inhaled then side, taking off his sunglasses to look V directly in the eye. "I dunno what my point is. If you're serious, and I mean *really* serious, then maybe we're on the same page after all."

V's eyes, the ones that had seen much loss and hardship and death, softened, a smile creeping over his features. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Vik echoed, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him in for a hug. "Sorry, I'm not good at this sorta thing."

"Just hold me," he whispered, nestling his head in the crook of Vik's neck. "You're great at that."

And he did until the scanner beeped, and even beyond that, unwilling to let him go for a long while.

"Results," V said, pulling away at last.

"Right, results," he echoed , turning around to read the findings. "Looks like someone raided a pharmacy. Got some high end meds in there. Not the sort you can pick up from a ripper or the local apoc."

"Any way you can remove 'em without messing up the results? Leave all the blood stuff, but just... clean it, so to speak?"

Vik turned slowly, a look of exasperation on his face. "I knew that seemed shady. I'm not helping you cheat a drug test, V."

V smiled sheepishly, giving a noncommittal shrug.

"Ugh, seriously, kid. Is that why you came in here laying on the charm? To con me into this?"

"What? No! The fuck, Vik, it's not like that."

"You're not gonna pull the wool over my eyes," he continued.

"Frankly, kinda over the whole drug test thing. I'll fail fair and square, it's whatever... little more preoccupied with what we just talked about."

The earnesty lay bare on his face, and Vik's annoyance fell away. "Oh," was all he managed, clearing his throat as he tried to recover his dignity. "Well, uh, sorry for jumpin' the gun there. Get off that stuff though, yeah? It's not good for you."

"Yeah, yeah, heard it before. Don't gotta preach."

"I worry about you," he admitted.

"Yeah... I know." V leaned in again, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth and another to his jawline. "Gonna my act together. Promise. Gonna try, anyway."

"Hope you will," he returned, taking V by his cheeks and kissing him soundly. "I'll spare you the lecture for now."

"Thank God," V chuckled, relaxing against him once again. "Thanks, Vik. For the uhh... talk. Feelin' pretty damn good right now."

"Feeling pretty damn good myself," he replied, stroking his fingers through his hair. "You gonna stay a while? I've got a couch, beer, and a new movie with a shitty plot, if you're interested."

"Got biz to wrap up, but I can be back by nine. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect. Bring dinner?"

"You know it. See ya 'round, 'kay, Vik?" He asked, all soft smiles and bright eyes.

"See ya, V. Take care out there. Come back to me in one peace."

That smile grew as he turned away and made his way back out to the street. Like a child with a crush, Vik's heart fluttered in his chest as the door shut behind him, the taste and tingle of him still on his lips.

Tonight... he could hardly wait.

[henrysglock]

Warning: This blog is not a safe space for those who are anti-Palestine. That includes zionists. Also, I will be posting/reblogging ST5 leaks!

24 • #1 Vile Henry Creel Understander

James' Master List

My Bullshit Theories:

The Big Analysis on The First Shadow (Nearly 50,000 words dissecting All That so you don't have to!)

D.A.D and The Squawk (The CONFIRMED direct connection between the radio-based Mindflayer Tracking device in TFS and the leaked radio station van)

How Old Is Jane Ives? (Calendar math that tells us Terry's break-in could not physically have happened in 1974, and instead happened closer to 1978)

Cracks and Mirrors Series (A series of 4 posts discussing the unreliability of the NINA 1979 massacre—specifically highlighting multiple different outcomes based on set and makeup design)

Where Is All The Blood Coming From? (A comparison between the 4.07 massacre's blood and the carnage resulting from democreature attacks)

Local Man Refuses to Pick A Damn Jumpsuit (Matching up the Dimension-X jumpsuits to 4.07 massacre jumpsuits)

Turn Around...Look At What You See... (At least one version of Brenner saw One killing Two in 1979 rather than El with the gate, and I've got receipts for it)

The First Shadow: Impossible Timeline (The timeline of the newspapers Sshown in The First Shadow cannot physically exist)

Why Do You, As The Big Bad, Have No Lines Or Powers? (Vecna’s physical form in the UD has no dialogue and doesn’t use psionic powers: evidence and theories)

Psycho Killer, Qu'est-ce Que C'est? (Neither Henry Nor Vecna Are Psychopaths: An In-Depth Behavioral Analysis)

Our Lord and Savior…Vecna? (Why Vecna/One is God, narratively speaking, based on analysis of ST4, The Bible, and other supporting media)

⬇️ Link Library Below The Cut ⬇️

Fics:

Paper Faces — POTO x ST fusion fic (Complete)

ptolemaea (blessed be the children) — Henry’s fix-it fic (4/?)

Trick of the Light — Henry-Brenner-El centric 4.07 rewrite (2/3)

Papa Warbucks — Henry/Brenner Sugar Daddy AU (1/?)

Edits:

ABBEY (ft. Henry Creel)

NYMPHOLOGY (ft. HNL)

The Colors of ST4 (ft. Le Monde)

Featured Posts

↳ Featured Timeline, Time Loop, and Alternate Reality Posts

Jekyll and Hyde? No. Vecna and Mindflayer Guy

Closet Guy is not one of the Massacre Guys

The Creel’s Impossible Move-In Date

A Night of Monologues: Scripted vs Filmed 4.07

Plinko Power: A Theory on One’s Time Powers

010's Multiple Testing Rooms

El's Eye Blood

Day and Night: 4.07 Script Discrepancies vs 6 Nov. 1983

Covered in Blood: The Massacre may have happened in 1983

Gravity Goofs: Concrete proof of multiple UDs

Brenner's Tie Gaffs (cont.)

The mirror in the Rainbow Room isn’t a mirror at all. It’s a window

Instances of back-to-back duplicate El scenes in NINA

The Store Room Scene In NINA Is Actually A Bunch Of Different Versions of Events Frankenstein'd Together (Contains Concrete Proof)

There are nine distinct Brenners in the 4.01 massacre sequence alone

The 27-year Time Loop Theory

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Psychopathy: Learned or Genetic

Jeffty is Five, Henry is 7

Henry's Third Monologue Iteration

Mothergate Origins

Room (2015)

Young Henry, Adult Henry, and the Rabbit Scene

Perspective On The Length of Henry's Imprisonment

Henry Didn't Manipulate El Re: Soteria

Henry's Unseen Costumes

NINA And Computers

The Order of Creel-Related Events As Compared To The Catholic Calendar. Read: More Proof That One Is God

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The Real Time Frame of TFS

Drugs, NINA, The Mindflayer, and TFS

Henry, Bob's D.A.D., and Understudy Incest

Patty’s Anti-Social Behavior

Daria Rip-Off

Some Concerns About Joyce’s Role

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Midnight Mass: My Dead Sister, Alice

Midnight Mass: Rabbits, Mice, and Resurrection

Fringe: Chess and A Brave New World

Fringe: Stranger Things Have Happened

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Eben Byers, Radium, and ST3's Soviet Plot

Vecna's Curse: Radiation Sickness Symptoms

Henry Creel Literally Nuked Hawkins

Nuclear Winter in the Side-Side Upside Down

The Nuclear Annihilation of 1983

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POTO 2004: Film Analysis

Anon Cringe Compilation: 2024 Edition, Part 1

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Left-Brain, Right-Brain (ft. Henry Creel)

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[onecornerface]

The inadequacy of non-legalization to address the overdose crisis

I’m writing a paper arguing that only drug legalization—the regulation of an accessible drug supply—has a decent chance to drastically and quickly reduce the overdose rates, at least in countries like the United States and Canada that are facing overdose crisis conditions.

Part of my argument consists in reasons to think legalization can succeed. But here I’ll discuss another part of my argument—reasons to think alternatives must fail. Legalization has a plausible mechanism for drastically & quickly reducing overdose rates, whereas all alternatives lack a plausible mechanism for doing so.

Even reformist proposals, such as decriminalization (of drug use & possession) and drug-checking (like fentanyl test-strips and centralized drug-checking services), are extremely limited in their ability to reduce death rates among the most high-risk drug users. Decriminalization is better than full prohibition, since there are no good justifications to arrest people for drug use, and it may reduce overdoses slightly through some indirect routes—but it does not address the drug supply. Drug-checking can also slightly reduce overdose and other drug hazards as well, by empowering people to manage the drug supply slightly better than they otherwise could. But it is woefully inefficient, limiting its ability to respond to the crisis at scale. I’ll describe this further on.

The source of the problem: Imperfect Prohibition One might notice that if the government ever succeeds in cracking down on all (or nearly all) the illicit drug supply, then there will be nothing left to overdose on—problem solved. So it may appear that this is a reason to continue the crackdowns against the production, trafficking, and distribution of drugs—to seek perfect prohibition.

However, this is the wrong level of analysis, appealing to an inappropriate idealization. In realistic non-ideal conditions (especially in modern countries facing an entrenched drug crisis), perfect prohibition is unattainable, and attempts to reach it will instead result in imperfect prohibition, which is the worst outcome. First, in relevant contexts, the government will most likely never succeed in eliminating all or nearly all the drug supply. Second, if an illicit market continues in operation, then it will likely continue to have extremely hazardous qualities such as high potency, volatility of dose, unmeasurableness, and frequent shifts in composition. I’ll sketch out some reasons why both of these claims are likely. And their conjunction entails that, in the absence of legalization, we will continue to have imperfect prohibition which makes the drug supply worse.

[criminal-sen]

haha jfc, it's been 7 months since I updated Imperfect... and I just barely got around to changing the WIP status from 'currently working on' to 'on temporary hiatus'

Also I have this ritual where at least once a week, I open up the doc, stare at it for a minute, then sigh and close it. Once in a blue moon, I even add a word or two, and maybe a helpful note like 'this part fucking sucks' or 'delete this part' or 'omfg just start over the entire chapter'. So there's that.

whoops I wrote way more than initially intended, including some rehab-related stuff I'm putting below a cut (nothing bad, just talking about meds and mental health stuff idk)

More usefully, the doctor at my rehab clinic finally FINALLY might be taking me seriously about the anxiety/depression shit - she's gonna get me some therapy (hopefully sooner than my primary care doc who put me on a waiting list) and also a psych analysis to see if I qualify for those anxiety meds I'm always bitching about not having. Basically I realized that if I kept telling her I was fine, nothing was ever gonna change, and the 'I'm fine' shit is entirely founded in old fears that don't even apply to me anymore??? Like, years back I was on probation - frequent drug tests and mandatory rehab were part of my conditions - so 'I'm fine' was a survival tactic to keep them off my ass as much as possible. And somewhere along the line, I completely lost any trust in rehab... which I think is a pretty valid result tbfh... but a bit counterproductive nowadays:/ So yah, the meds I want are damage control, all of this is damage control, and if I tell her there's no damage, uhhh well hopefully you see the conundrum lol

[therapyhorrorstories]

Psychiatrists will literally diagnose you within five minutes of meeting you (based on vibes, I guess?) and immediately resort to using cult tactics in order to bully you into taking medication without bothering to scientifically confirm that diagnosis. This has happened to me four times, every time it was a different diagnosis and a different medication so clearly it's not one of those "I'm an expert, I just Know" things.

And it's not like the tests don't exist, they just don't bother with them. At best they might have you self-report your symptoms in what is basically a glorified magazine quiz. My autism/ADHD diagnosis was the first time in 18 years of therapy and drugs that a professional actually diagnosed me through rigorous testing followed by statistical analysis of the results. Literally all previous diagnoses were done using either vibes or the magazine quiz method. One diagnosed me without even meeting me. Not a single one of them ever suggested autism or ADHD as possibilities, I went in for that testing on my own initiative.

The science is there but the people on the ground are too full of themselves to actually use it. Absolute shitshow of a profession.

[maaarine]

Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men (Caroline Criado-Perez, 2019)

"Digging deeper into the numbers, another issue the authors completely failed to address is whether or not the drugs were tested in women at different stages in their menstrual cycles.

The likelihood is that they weren’t, because most drugs aren’t.

When women are included in trials at all, they tend to be tested in the early follicular phase of their menstrual cycle, when hormone levels are at their lowest – i.e. when they are superficially most like men.

The idea is to ‘minimise the possible impacts oestradiol and progesterone may have on the study outcomes’.

But real life isn’t a study and in real life those pesky hormones will be having an impact on outcomes.

So far, menstrual-cycle impacts have been found for antipsychotics, antihistamines and antibiotic treatments as well as heart medication.

Some antidepressants have been found to affect women differently at different times of their cycle, meaning that dosage may be too high at some points and too low at others.

Women are also more likely to experience drug-induced heart-rhythm abnormalities and the risk is highest during the first half of a woman’s cycle.

This can, of course, be fatal. (…)

Perhaps most galling from a gender-data-gap perspective was the finding that females aren’t even included in animal studies on female-prevalent diseases.

Women are 70% more likely to suffer depression than men, for instance, but animal studies on brain disorders are five times as likely to be done on male animals.

A 2014 paper found that of studies on female-prevalent diseases that specified sex (44%), only 12% studied female animals.

Even when both sexes are included there is no guarantee the data will be sex-analysed: one paper reported that in studies where two sexes were included, two-thirds of the time the results were not analysed by sex.

Does this matter? Well, in the 2007 analysis of animal studies, of the few studies that did involve rats or mice of both sexes, 54% revealed sex-dependent drug effects. (…)

It’s a tantalising finding that inevitably leads to the following question: how many treatments have women missed out on because they had no effect on the male cells on which they were exclusively tested?"

[intersectingparadigms]

Forensic science - the "CSI stuff" is one of the least tested areas of the sciences there is, and deserves an overhaul. It does nothing but break peoples lives apart with false courtroom testimonies. The CSI effect means that people believe it is real when it's mostly bullshit.

Stop believing the courts every time an expert testifies. (Or at all. Most judges are cop-loving bootlickers who will gladly send you to your ruin if it speeds up their case log.)

Bite mark analysis is indisputibly fake and wrong, but courts still use it. The very first case was later proven to have had the results faked to fit, but any results after are also

Travel analysis (Where a person has been) from shoes is impossible to prove

Fingernail evidence is easy to fuck up, or confuse the courts with because many cosmetics and foods may distort findings

Hair analysis, hard to prove beyond a reasonable doubt, as it's interpretive. It uses a shitty test that can false positive hairspray or shampoo to frame people as alcoholic or drug-using (which should not be a crime). It also is used to this day. Look up Motherisk Lab for how garbage the science can be!!! None of the lab members were ever trained. This practice is same all over the world. The science is pretty bad

Fingerprints. Both not unique to each person, and the results easy to fudge. Super interpretive and hard to prove it was them or another with a similar print. Partials used as evidence too often imo

Roadside drug tests cops give? Eaaaasy to set off that mouthwash residue, aspirin, or even chewing gum can get you a positive.

DNA is also interpretive. Sure, you may be able to match it with someone, but what markers say about that person is nothing but a maybe. This is doubled or tripled as a maybe for animals - animal DNA testing is absolutely terribly regulated

Actual science welcomes challenge. Forensics often bars it, and stands by faulty labs and science that often was just imagined up as giving results by a random guy a century ago