#analysing the shit out of this hehe

[mothlady-garden]

My two cents about the anatomy of the Angel Arm & some of the Gate

Last update: 01st November

Spoilers for basically the whole story

• Core starts to form in the Ulna

• The core is formed first in the ulna, of independents through either physical contact with a trigger or a triggering biochemistry that is found in stressfully situations, if willingy or not.

can also be triggered though Plant-Song (presence of Knives in a close distence in JuLai)

Hardening of the skin and partial melting and with clothing (assimilation of matter into body)

Prominent Plant markings appear on the whole area

• Tissue growth around the core follows this

• Groth before Structure

• Solid and dense at first

• Changes from solid to more feathery

• Winglets develop, which will provide stabilizers/visor

dominant side seems to differ from individual to individual

Arm Design

• 4 Structural Supports:

• 2 act like heart muscles, which can achieve contractions and expansions -that's propaply whats been his lower arm

2 maybe be the same but didn't need to spread

massive core

• 2 lower growths for stabilization to better shoot at city's (fuck Knives)

• 2 floating rings-one at the very front and one at the tail of the Arm while charging (most likely for energy concentration and To polarize the energy in one direction

• 4 Faces Encased in Forearm

• Depict 2 men, 1 woman, and 1 angel?

• Wing-like Structure, Bat and dragonfly wing crossed

• Probably finger bones transformed to extend as wings from the arm

Muzzle Design

• The tip has parallel striped bands evoking muscle fibers or connective tissue for stability

• Feathers form at the end, which may subconsciously formed for resisting maximum recoil and hurting of Knives

Smaller "Backfire-prison-break" version

• Later in the manga, a small and compact version of the Angel Arm is used.

• No secondary sexual characteristics appear.

growth of another 4 faces at the elbow part, they appear more deformed

• New growths act as counterweights for upper and lower parts.

• Hand behaves like an end of the arm with plates of bone that help to control the release of energy.

• Golden Angle Alignment, its design probably has the Golden Angle, about 137.5°, which may help reach energy and structural optimisation

Symbolism of the four faces and different genders

•There are four faces: two? men, one woman, and one angel. This could be the manifestations of humanity in their various facets, such as strength, compassion (Rem) the struggle between human and godhood

• Perhaps the inlayed male and female figures are indicative of the balance between masculine and feminine character traits of him

Vashs first Angel Arm

realease seems to aktivate a part of thier brain that is responsible for pleasure, adds to the impression that the Fith Moon Incident was way worse than on first sight

The structure is less smooth, which may be due to the missing inexperience with the newly developed body part. Similar to certain animals, whose bone surfaces appear blocky or rough—such as in birds or dinosaurs, where these structures serve as anchors for tendons, muscles, or scales—the rough texture here could also be the result of incomplete adaptation or development bc of the inecpirience with his power

more feathery than later apprances

very small core with a single little wing on the (later would have grown) angel part

feathers spread on arm to upper torso

Additionally up to 2m (6.5 feet) long feathers grow out of right shoulder

Small faces grow on the upper arm above the core without any distinguishable features

Shoulder feathers will grow up to 5m (16ft)

Feathers seem to be more like Primaries (more for ranged actions like protecting or maybe fleeing)

Further characteristics of his arm in the trance like state and a few ramblings about Vashs phycology

possibly a mental hellscape when using the gate connected to one's mind

No Plant-Marks appear

matter seem to be more flesh-like than the other versions

Self image displays several eyes mouths and disformed bodyparts

Doesn't seem to follow a order, spreads like a Tree into more and more parts

human and snake like with tongues and even carnies

similar are also apperand in Knives pardon

10+ tentacle like growths at the former hand part

~15 deformed finger like growths

the deformed faces seem to be in pain from his selfharm -same nerves system

he tried to scratch his arm of at the schoulder area (where a emmense scar-cut in his skin and muscle is)

Survivor's guilt in relation to traumatic experiences or PTSD will, more than likely, involve self-image at its core. In having survived a tragedy, he is overcome with an immense amount of responsibility and guilt for having lived while others have died. More often than not, this is attached to the guilt associated with being unworthy of having survived, leading to feelings of low self-worth (for example jumping into line of fire or not healing his scars if subconsciously or not) and or blame being placed upon one's self. This may result in distortion of their self-concept and in the feeling of being undeserving of happiness or unable to move further in life.

PTSD can exacerbate this guilt through intrusive memories, flashbacks, and hyperarousal, whereby the survivor is pressed to continually relive the event in question. This inability to escape such mental relapses can further promote feelings of helplessness that will degrade one's self-esteem and reinforce negative self-judgments. The latter, in turn, can promote further avoidance behaviors, such as dissociation or emotional numbing, possibly counterproductive for trauma processing and creating a self-sustaining cycle of repression.

Another coping mechanism we see, is repression this can even more strongly compound the problem. By excluding painful memories or emotions from consciousness, survivors skip confrontation with guilt or trauma in a straightforward way. Yet, this usually leads to internal conflict because the unresolved feelings of the survivors continue to impress their subconscious, confusing them, self-doubting, and fragmenting their identities. The usually resultant picture is that of a deformed negative self-image, alienated from one's real self.

Ultimately, his past actions and unresolved trauma may trap him in a cycle of guilt, anger, and self-hate. This inner conflict, combined with toxic relationship with his brother, could leave him emotionally isolated, struggling to reconcile the good he tries to show with the darker parts of his past, unable to find peace with himself or others.

Also in the Book of Revelation, Revelation 13:1 is a kinda similar thing discriped: “And I saw a beast rising out of the sea, with ten horns and seven heads, with ten diadems on its horns and blasphemous names on its heads.” (ESV)

Vashs Gate in the elevator-arc

Clothing seem to intigrate itself into the skin

Carnies growing

iris and pupil seem to dissappear

components of the eye may have regressed to better adapt to the environment of his sisters

a huge number of featers maybe bc not controlled use of his gate

a wide variety of feathers from small to Primaries like, partly because Merly and his body needed protection?

power to connect to one's mind much like the feathers of his dying sisters

Perhaps bc of a special frecency plus some kind of Mykorrhiza so transfer signals interspecies

Primary Wing

the growth of a wing seems to be triggered by a flee instinkt (in Vashs case)

4 sections, one extra on the back for horizontal range -from fused together limbs?

Vash Angel wing in the end and defence mechanism of the Gate

2,5 meters long, bird like minus the Coracoid

Sooo he's got feathers that protect him like I'm my food, as seen right after the elevator-arc

Speed of his Gate 1

If a shot’s fired at you from 4 meters away, you’ve got almost no time to react. Bullets typically travel at speeds ranging from about 300 to 1,200 meters per second, depending on the type of gun and ammo. At 4 meters, that bullet’s gonna hit you in a blink—literally. For a rough estimate, if the bullet’s speed is, say, 340 meters per second (a typical handgun speed), it would cover 4 meters in roughly 0.012 seconds. A blink of an eye takes about 100-150 milliseconds. So yeah, by the time a human even think of moving, that bullet’s would have already hit its mark.

Speed of his Gate 2

Extreme elegance is key to dodge bullets (as seen in the Legato fight)

At this range roughly of 3 meters, a bullet traveling at 800 to 1,000 meters per second is gonna reach you in about 0.003 to 0.004 seconds. That’s less than the blink of an eye, hell, even thinking about dodging would take longer than that.

With multiple angles and those rounds coming at you that fast, you’d basically need to start dodging before they even fired. We’re talking some ultra-instinct, superhuman reflexes here.

Trigun: We have some of the most powerful characters in seinen hehe

Power of Vashs Gate-Bullets

Trimax Vol 12, Chapter 08: Lights

the shots seem to inplode like a black hole

Anti matter bullets explanation (As seen in the battle against the Arc-Collective)

If a single shot could destroy 7% of the Northern Hemisphere of a habitable planet, we are dealing with a weapon of cosmic-scale power. The energy released in such a shot would far exceed any terrestrial weapon, venturing into the realm of exotic physics. To put it into perspective, to annihilate an area of around 14 million square kilometers, the energy output would need to be on the order of 10^24 to 10^27 joules, which rivals phenomena like gamma-ray bursts or the Sun’s total output over several hours.

The cartridge contains exotic matter capable of distorting space-time enough to form a micro black hole. This might involve the use of antimatter or even negative mass to reach the required density and energy concentration. By collapsing the mass-energy within the cartridge through an exotic quantum process, a micro black hole emerges, which can either evaporate through Hawking radiation or expand, depending on the stabilization mechanics used. Luckily for them he's made them evaporate after a second.

To control and limit the effects of the micro black hole, the bullet employs gravitational confinement techniques or manages Hawking radiation to ensure the black hole persists for just long enough to cause catastrophic damage. It uses quantum field manipulation to create a gravitational gradient, holding the black hole in a state of quasi-stability before allowing it to collapse in a burst of energy.

The transfer of matter across dimensions occurs through a temporary connection to higher-dimensional space, such as in brane cosmology theories, where our 3D universe interacts with a higher-dimensional structure. When matter is drawn into another dimension, a transient wormhole or topological defect, like a cosmic string, forms, allowing matter to be siphoned off.

This process resembles Kaluza-Klein theory, where compactified extra dimensions permit the energy to escape from our familiar three-dimensional space-time into the higher-dimensional realm. It’s as if the explosion opens a drain that lets matter flow out of thier universe, erasing the affected area from existence.

Imagine it as pulling the plug on a bathtub; the water (representing matter) rapidly drains into an unseen reservoir (the higher dimension), leaving behind a chaotic disturbance on the surface (massive explosion and gravitational disruptions). It doesn’t just destroy; it erases a portion of space-time itself.

Explanation part 2

If he limits a shot to a maximum diameter of 50 cm and a duration of 1 second, while ensuring that it does not cause terraforming-scale damage, then we’re dealing with some extreme physics constraints.

Energy Compression and Containment

To achieve such massive destructive power within a confined space of max 50 cm, the energy would need to be incredibly dense and compressed, using some form of exotic energy state or quantum-scale manipulation. We might think of a process similar to creating a quark-gluon plasma, where matter is compressed to such high densities that conventional atomic structures no longer exist. This would allow for an incredibly high energy concentration without needing a massive physical size.

Control Over the Shockwave

To prevent the shot from causing terraforming-level damage, the shockwave dynamics would have to be controlled precisely. This could involve using fields or containment mechanisms that limit the expansion of the blast wave to a very small effective radius, absorbing or dispersing the energy beyond that point.

For example, a localized gravitational field could be used to constrain the energy within the 50 cm radius, causing the shockwave to rapidly lose intensity beyond that point. This would result in a highly concentrated but short-lived explosion, powerful enough to cause intense localized destruction without spreading its effects over a larger area.

Duration and Rapid Energy Dissipation

With a duration of only roughly 1 second, the energy release would need to be extremely quick and then dissipate almost immediately. One way to achieve this could be by utilizing a form of Hawking radiation or controlled quantum tunneling, allowing the energy to decay rapidly into other forms of radiation or be siphoned off into a higher-dimensional space right after reaching its peak.

This approach would make the explosion appear like a brief, intense flash of destruction, where the peak intensity lasts less than a second, followed by rapid normalization of the local environment. There would still be a violent local effect, but it would be contained to prevent any significant alterations to the landscape.

Think of it as a controlled fusion explosion, where the fusion reaction is ignited but then immediately halted by a containment field, causing the released energy to dissipate almost as soon as it appears. It would be like a microburst of a star’s energy, contained and then extinguished just before it gets out of control.

The shot would feel like a brief, intense thud, with a powerful but contained shockwave that wouldn’t extend far beyond the immediate vicinity, preventing large-scale geological or atmospheric effects. It would still be lethal within its limited range but without causing collateral damage on a world ending scale.

To be added:

Knives Angel Arm and Gate

possess more animal like traits

Pant markings seem to appear more regulary maybe a matter of practice to hide them

height 50 meters?

length to the space ships round about 311 miles (500km)

theory about his worp usage of the higher dimension

he's creating a cut in the reality goes into the higher dimension and reappears at a different place propably with exotic matter (warping space-time)

Characteristics of his wing

struckture reflects his gate (what even is is purpose as independent beside his twin)

Phycological factor

does he has the need to harm humans trough his true nature

The Ark-Collective

First sister to be absorbed seems to trigger growth of multible tumors, some kind of autoimmune response

at first 2 wings, they possess more bones

It has its own gravity field

The Ark is organic in composition and, in structure, would be much like a biological entity that achieves buoyancy, from certain deep-sea life forms to large organisms with gas-filled cavities. In its advanced organic material, there is a percentage of gas pockets or low-density compounds, enabling it to stay aloft in a dense atmosphere. The organic superconducting materials of the combined might also serve to create strong magnetic fields upon activation. This highly developed organic structure creates these fields for the lifting effect on objects in a certain radius. It apparently has the ability to emit or manipulate antigravitons-particles that act against gravity-and such an ability would reduce gravitational pull on everything in a localized area. In creating a small field around itself, it is essentially working against or neutralizing gravity. The Ark also has the possibility of causing local distortions in gravitational fields, creating a sort of "bubble" that decreases the pulling power of gravity on objects around it, hence allowing it to levitate them. In such a case, the bio-machinery of this organism would need high energy density structures, such as muscle fibers, that store energy and afterward release it. Their cells would need organelles with very high output energy, which would be able to store energy and afterwards release it to build force or fields. These cells function like biological equivalents of batteries or power cells, generating very powerful bioelectric fields. The Collective amplifies bioelectric potentials to considerable magnitudes to generate site-specific magnetic fields, or any other force-related phenomena that are powerful enough to levitate masses. In its domain of quantum biology, the entity uses quantum effects for levitation or lifting. It taps and channels energy with high efficiency through processes somewhat related to quantum coherence in photosynthesis. Presumably, this biological use of quantum interaction enables the it to achieve the very fine control over force fields and manipulate gravitational pull on a quantum scale, thus enabling the lifting forces.

lower part resembles a flower🌺

So my theory is that Vashs power is to delete/absorb/take matter into the higher dimension and Knives is to add/give materia into the lower dimension.

Feel free to comment your own thoughts.

Also, I was listening to that while making this🔥:

Have a good day

[thecapricunt1616]

Kinktober Day 13 🎃

𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛 (𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐭): “Someone has a big Chem lab today, and didn’t take a lunch” you said and he blushed a bit, shrugging. “That’s what m’studying for right now. Did you really come all the way down here to bring me food?” He asked and you smiled, nodding and taking the little brown paper bag out and putting it in front of him

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: Helloooo! Welcome to day 13 of kinktober with our lovely lip gallagher! I hope you enjoy hehe 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.0k+ 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Implied smut, college kids in love, not very edited, swearing 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐬: @/𝘀𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗸𝗮-𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗰𝘀 & @/𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗰𝘀

You wrapped up the turkey, apple, and Gruyère sandwich with hot honey that you’d made for your boyfriend, wrapping it in one of your little reusable beeswax wraps that you’d gotten for your shared apartment. 

Lip called them ‘fancy shit’ but you’d done research in one of your eco-studies classes at school and plastic was really killing the earth, so it was important to you that you made the switch in your own house. The only reason he hadn’t had the time to throw a sad baloney and American cheese sandwich into one of them for himself this morning, was because he was running late for class himself. 

You grabbed one of the reusable silicone ziplocks and filled it with the jalapeño parmesan chips that he liked, sealing it and grabbing a banana, and granola bar as well as a beef jerky stick for later since he usually ran late studying in the library, which is what you figured he was doing now between classes. 

You packed all the food neatly in a brown paper bag, adding a note in that said ‘love you handsome guy, need brain-food for all that studying ;)’ and drew a little heart as well. 

And just like that, you were on your way to The L, tote bag containing both of your lunches to enjoy together in the library. 

You popped your headphones in and continued to read The Awakening - which was your assigned book for English this semester, tapping your highlighter on your knee between highlighting passages you wanted to add into your analyses. It wasn’t too long until you were tucking your book back into your tote bag, as well as your highlighter and getting up from your seat. 

The doors opened for your stop and you step out into the crisp autumn air, nuzzling your nose into your warm scarf as you walk. You hummed along to the song playing through your headphones, something new by Taylor swift as the library came into view. When you finally opened the large heavy door of UChicagos library and the warmth of the heater hit your near frost bitten cheeks from the wind whipping your face. 

Sniffling, you made your way to the very top floor, trudging up all those stairs since the elevator took forever, and by the top you were panting a bit, scanning over the room until you found Lip in his signature brown jacket and jeans. He was sitting at one of his favorite tables in the far left corner near the back stairwell, slouched down in the chair with a pencil pressed to his temple and wired headphones buried in his ears. You were the only 2 people on the floor, since it was just a quiet Friday afternoon afterall, most people were skipping class today to party and drink- but Lip had gotten much more serious about his education since he’d met you. 

You took the chance to surprise him, walking up behind him and covering his eyes gently and he pulled out his headphones

“Babe? You don’t have class-“ he said and you tilted his chin up, stealing an upside down kiss 

“Someone has a big Chem lab today, and didn’t take a lunch” you said and he blushed a bit, shrugging. 

“That’s what m’studying for right now. Did you really come all the way down here to bring me food?” He asked and you smiled, nodding and taking the little brown paper bag out and putting it in front of him 

“And to be a good girlfriend and have lunch with you” you took out your same identical lunch out, except it was in your pink lunchbox that was reusable. 

“You’re too cute- what did you make?” He asked, nearly grinning from ear to ear which you thought was adorable. He had shown you through his reactions to things that acts of service and physical touch were absolutely his love languages. 

“Take a bite and find out. I think you’ll like it, very Lip Gallagher vibes, spicy and sweet” you giggle, opening up your bag of chips and popping one in your mouth. He chuckled at that, kissing the corner of your mouth lovingly. 

“I don’t think someone’s ever come all the way across town to give me lunch before” he said and took a bite, brows raising and he hums in delight. “How the fuck did you come up with this? Are those apples?” He asked and you giggled, nodding a bit. 

“Apples” you concur. “In a sandwich, how about that! Is it good?” You asked and he smirked 

“Y’know- it may just beat out bologna and cheese- maybe” he joked, causing you to giggle and roll your eyes. 

“Wow! Look at that. And to think I didn’t know that would ever get beaten out. So am I gonna have to get up every day and make it?” You joked and he huffed a chuckle as he finished his first half 

“No you just gotta show me what fancy shit of yours you use to make it and then I’ll know how to do it myself” he nudges you with his shoulder playfully. 

By the time you were both done and had washed up after lunch, you were sat on Lips lap in one of the corner recliners that was blocked from view of the cameras making out. It was only natural for him to get handsy after you’d done something nice like this for him. It was one of the ways he knew best how to express his gratitude. 

He slips his hand down the front of your leggings and you gasped a bit into his mouth, holding the back of his neck. “Lip- we’re in the library” you said in a hushed whisper. He smirked into the crook of your neck in response, kissing down your jaw and over your chin until he found your lips again. 

“Thats what makes it so fun, ye’? All the risk?” he said into your lips before giving you a hot, loving kiss. 

Lip Gallagher was going to be the death of you. 

Fin

Tag List:  - @carmenberzattosgf - @daysofyellowroses - @mouseymilkovich  - @gallaghersgal - @maggiesarchives - @carmybrainworms - @l4long-winded - @babyspiderling - @southsideserendipity - @djlnkaled

[stgosupremacy]

HI SO TODAY WE R GONNA ANALYSE EVERY OFFICIAL SATOGOU POSTER (ok i couldnt get my hands on them all but)🥰

heres the thing no one asked for

there's hearts. 💯❤

honestly pretty chill but THERES HEARTS-

ok so theres not much else going on here but this is rlly cute of a poster lmao of the boys all cosy and cute <33 and ash drinking this cool soda lol

pikachu looks so cute omggggg

(@skyecrystal pointed out this was released on valentines day hehe) 😏

MORE HEARTS MWAHAHAHHAHAHA ok but like all their pokemon are clearly routing for them (esp lucario look at him)

ALSO random but i love how it's gohs pokemon looking directy at the present in gohs hand lol like theyre just waiting for him to fess up....AND GOH DEFO GAVE THAT PRESENT TO ASH AFTER THE SHOOT 💖😊😊

ehhhhh 4 gays 1 picture, keep scrollinggg....

(theyre all literally like 2 inches apart bahhaa)

OK BUT IM SORRY HHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH WHY THE WEDDING SUITS LMFAOOOOOOOOOO 🤨

love how ash is just totally sweetly oblivious and just smiling...

...gary is just acting chill and cool as always...

and goh is....just blushing and is internally screaming we can tell ok

I LOVE THIS ONE SMM LOL LOOK AT MR MIME HE KNOWS BAHAHAHAHHA 😏😏

and goh l i t e r a l l y getting distracted by ash- look at him !! 💖🤨 so distracted in fact that the ICING IS COMING OUT THE PIPING BAGGGGGG UGHGHGHHGH

and then chloe just being adorable ofc awh lmao

ah then we have to appreciate sobble and pikachu looking down at their trainers like 'we know what you guys are' 🥰

iLOVEEEE this one but the ones to come knock it off the bar holy heck 😤-

they literally couldnt be any close in this BAHAHHAHA AWWHHH teyre so cute <33 and ash's arm around him 🥺 I love how are just squashed up together while iris has the spotlight but they happy ^^

wait but we have to appreciate iris tho- LOOK AT HERRRRRR 💜💜

so uhhh...

still speaking of iris, she's so cute feeding pikachu right omg <33 💜🥺

andddddddd as much as i love and adore iris i couldn't help but notice something elseeee....it's not even that obvious idk if yall saw but

ash is feeding him.

he is literally feeding him-

ANDGOHISBLUSHING

LIKE

wow

also love goh's red socks theyre slayin

BUT ANYWAY gosh i love iris OBVS but everyone was like aww iris and pikachu cute aww-

LIKE HELLO?? have you seen this over here omg. the little cherry blossoms falling on them too (i cant help but notice some are shaped like hearts but they normally are anyway 🥰)

so yeah this one was defo anipoke being bold but uh

yall know which one is last 🙂🙂🙂

....

so i was like wow that is some REALLY good fanart dam-

BUT THEN

NO WAY THIS IS ACC REAL??????????????? NO IT RLLY IS OMG I LITERALLY CAN'T HOW IS THIS OFFICAL LMFAO look at them 😰

GOH IS FULL ON BLUSHING WITH ASH BEING PAINFULLY OBLIVIOUS AND WINKING????? AND THEN LOOK HOW FKN CLOSE THEY ARE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 🥰🥰🥰🥰 his cap is all squahed upwards bc of how close they are LMAO and ash is casually feeding himm...

again.

c'mon you can't tell me this isn't hinting at SOMETHING HERE 🙂🙂 WHOEVER IS DRAWING THESE OFFICIAL ARTS THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART <33

no like seriously combined with the gay shit from pokemon journeys they HAVE TO BE CANON LOL 🤩

THIS WAS SO FUN 😍 considering to tag this as satogou week 2023....which wasn't even my intention anyway but...HEY LETS DO IT!

#satogouweek2023 <3

(me considering if anyone is acc gonna read all of this 😀😀 )

[bisnes-socks]

i've read people's thoughts on the album as a whole and i've analysed most of the songs myself by now, so here's my thoughts on the whole people's champion album.

1. in ready to go, well he is just that, ready to go and try, even if he fails. he's not afraid and going forward and doing his thing is what he intends to do and what he loves to do. he has agency over his career and image, autonomy over himself.

my longer and more in depth song analysis posts are linked here in the text.

i personally don't think the album has a single narrative through it. the songs are thematically connected, but it's not one chronological and cohesive story to me. i've seen people speaking a lot on the theme of agency. i'd agree, that agency and autonomy are the major themes of the album, but i would specify that in my opinion, it's about finding and claiming agency. i think he has agency in almost every single song, but it's about him realising that he does have it, even when it feels like he doesn't, and him finding it and holding on to it.

2. in cha cha cha, he's talking about different sides of himself. in this song the two aren't necessarily living in perfect harmony, because one man needs piña coladas to coax him out, but both are.. intentional. and ultimately it's about finding the bravery to be who you are, which he is always advocating for and has really succeeded in, it seems.

3. in takavoltti, yes he is being sort of incited into crazy shit, but he absolutely recognises himself as a person who just.. gets into crazy shit easily. this side of him is also very present in mic mac. he's not bullied or abused into insane stunts and things, he recognises his own agency and both mental and physical autonomy in all of it by comparing himself to the dudesons etc. i think the song recognises the toxicity of the situation, but he's in control of it - as much as you are in control of your own personality and impulses.

4. ruoska is getting into the territory of maybe lacking some agency - life treats him harshly sometimes, and maybe he feels a bit powerless in front of all that. but then! he claims agency, by essentially going well yeah this hurts but hehe i'm into pain bitch. he literally says "baby hei mä oon valmis, anna tulla" meaning i'm ready, give it to me.

5. in kot kot i feel like he is at his most helpless. he's trying to control his situation by running away from things, trying to dance his worries away, but it's all crumbling down. in this one his agency in the situation is pretend.

7. in sex = money he is taking back like aaaalll of his agency and autonomy. his image, his work, his power, his role, his personality, his sexuality. autonomous agency anthem! he doesn't give a fuck! let's make sex moneyyy. BUT at the same time the song recognises the risks concerning agency and autonomy in the world of music, where selling sex is so prevalent. i think he is choosing to hold on to his.

6. in skit + autiomaa, he has lost agency and control over his life yes, but he is learning to find it again. he is listing things that he has done, to help himself feel better and to improve. it might not help (immediately anyway) but he's doing it. and he has thought about it, he has sought for help, he has sought for solutions, he has taken the steps. he is actively trying to help himself. i think that makes the song all the more emotional and sad, but it is not without hope, it's not without his own personal action for himself, and not without progress.

8. bananas is more about togetherness and collectivity i think. but i think it's also a song where he is truly enjoying himself. feeling himself, you know? if kot kot is a pretty sad song about partying, this one is pretty sexy. he's feeling like the hottest boy at the club, you know? truly into himself and into his crew and everything they get up to.

9. huhhahhei is about new connections. making the choice to be open and even vulnerable with new people. setting your own boundaries and giving yourself the permission to enjoy new people. self-confidence! 

10. in icip, he's not so much in control of things that happen to him, but he doesn't seem to be toooo bothered about it. which i find quite fitting. he sees things for what they are but he doesn't seem insecure or scared about any of it.

11. people's champion is a recap of him finding himself in a whole new situation and finding his footing in all of it - and recognising the help he has had along the way, while also being proud of everything he himself has achieved.

so overall, i think thematically this album is quite heavy, maybe dark even, but to me, it's not a sad album specifically. he comes across as someone incredibly tenacious. he's able to stay very strong, and he is able to recognise when things aren't going great. i think ultimately, the album is him going through life changing events, both good things and bad things, and coming out on the other side stronger and wiser than ever. it's an album of many emotions, but at the end of the day, he persists. and naming it people's champion, the single tear on the cover.. he's facing it all, taking it all head on, claiming his pride and moving forward. he's strong.

it's a powerful album.

[bijouxcarys]

𝑻𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑩𝒊𝒏𝒅 (𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝑹𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒔 𝒙 𝑶𝑪) - 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑺𝒊𝒙

Masterlist

Character Profiles/Face Claims

Playlist

A/N: My favourite chapter thus far. Really hope you enjoy this one... I feel like it's been a long-time coming lol. Make sure to let me know your thoughts, etc... Any questions are greatly appreciated! I like interacting with you all, even if I do take a minute to reply hehe. Enjoy!

Tags: @trippinsorrows @empressdede @thetribalqueen @heauxvibez @bigsimperika

@cyberdejos2 @keyaho @headoftheetable @jstarr86 @southerngirl41

@tshepisho @cry1nwhileimcumm1n @maeb99 @thedesireds @dzdndcnfsd

@expert-texpert @niknakbucks92 @sillyteecup

(let me know if you want to be tagged in future Roman fics)

Nate stood at the base of her Tribeca high-rise, the cool evening breeze doing little to soothe the heat around her neck. Pure tension. Stress. She was a tough cookie, sure, but the constant vigilance required in the Volkov family took its toll.

Tonight, she needed a break, a moment to herself before she had to put on her mask again at the auction this weekend. She craved the solace her apartment usually provided, a minimalistic refuge from… well, from everything else.

The lobby was quiet, the only sound being her heels echoing against the floor. Acknowledging the doorman with a curt nod, heading towards the elevators near the back. It was always in her best interest to not form any kind of relationship with the staff in the building. This was her time to be alone. The more obscure she was, the better.

Then again, forming a connection with someone like Natalka Volkov was synonymous with signing off on your own death warrant.

Even though the apartment was technically hers, and under her name legally, it was still a Volkov property in essence, acquired only through Dimitri’s permission when she turned 21. And when a property is associated with the most powerful mob boss in New York City… personal touches are out of the question.

Don’t leave anything that could help anyone trace it back to you.

Don’t let yourself be known.

Don’t give it away.

Don’t… be your own person.

Years of meticulous planning and cautious maneuvering, however, had taught Nate how to live under the radar of her family’s scrutiny.

She was acutely aware that the Volkovs had co-opted the building’s security, ensuring they had constant access to CCTV footage and details of all residents. But Nate was no amateur. She’d grown up in this life, for God’s sake. She knew how to navigate such… constraints.

At one point, she managed to reroute the security cameras in her apartment, looping the same few hours of footage. But she eventually had to come to terms with the fact that it wasn’t foolproof, and someone would figure out what she was doing. So she ended up enlisting the help of two people who knew her deal, knew her family, and knew her. A quick word to her close friend, Lana, and her husband, and she was in business.

They had painstakingly compiled a convincing collection of footage from her apartment at various times of the day, creating a realistic feed to fool even the most watchful eye. Boom. Problem solved.

As Nate stepped out of the elevator and made her way down the hallway, an unease instantly settled in the pit of her stomach when she clocked the view of the door to her penthouse apartment.

It was ajar.

Her senses sharpened immediately, and she paused. Of course, the one moment I get to just chill the fuck out for a minute, and this shit happens…

She reached into her black jeans, fingers wrapping around the handle of her pocket knife. Flipping it open with precise motion, she held it behind her back as she cautiously approached the door.

Step 1: Analyse the break-in.

Upon initial inspection, it was clear that whoever had made their way into her apartment knew how to pick a lock. And well. Nate had never seen such a clean pick before. Not only that, but a small nudge with her foot revealed the chain behind the door had been cut. A sleek, sharp, precise job. Right down the middle.

Step 2: Touch as little as possible upon entry.

She slipped inside, refraining from opening the door entirely, and scanned the apartment with her eyes.

Step 3: Figure out the nature of the intrusion.

Everything was in place. No sign of struggle, or theft. The PS5 under the 52” TV mounted on the wall in the living room was in the same place as she left it. The priceless family heirlooms dotted around on shelves and walls in the hallways were untouched. Almost like… nobody had been there at all.

The silence was unnerving. Each second stretched out.

Step 4: There isn’t a step fucking 4, what is this, an instruction class?

Thanks, Dad, that one was really helpful…

“Whoever is in here, make yourself known in the next 5 seconds, or I swear to God I’ll cut out your fucking tongue!” she took the risk of calling out, stripping her voice of emotion and taking on the well-rehearsed tone of Dimitri.

The apartment, however, remained silent, tension thickening with every breath. 

It all came to a head when Nate stepped through into the kitchen, her heart jolting, and damn near giving her a heart attack.

“What the fuck?!” 

Rhea turned slowly, her lips curling into a little smirk. “Seriously?” she glanced down. “A fucking pocket knife?”

“Who are you, the fucking boogeyman—why’d you have to be so fucking creepy?!” Nate’s voice came out sharper than she intended as she slammed the knife down on the kitchen island.

“I needed to see you.”

“What, and you couldn’t just text me? You had to break into my apartment like a fucking serial killer?”

“Do serial killers break into people’s apartments?” Rhea raised an eyebrow, turning fully on her heel with her hands tucked into her front pockets.

“Wh—I don’t bloody know, Rhea, why are you here? And how did you know I was gonna be here?” Nate sighed, taking a deep breath from the scare.

Rhea’s smirk widened. “Nate… it may have been a long time, but I still know you better than you know yourself.” She began to move around the room, her gaze sweeping over the minimalistic decor. “You always did need your space from time to time… You’ve always been a recluse.” She paused at the counter beside the oven, spinning and leaning back against it. Her arms folded, and her perfect brows narrowed slightly.

“What I didn’t peg you as, though, was a fucking traitor.”

The atmosphere shifted instantly as Nate felt the meaning behind Rhea’s words sink in. “Rhea, I d–”

“I don’t need any bullshit right now, Volkov,” she snapped icily. “My right-hand, my confidante, my best friend, is dead because of someone in that bloody warehouse.”

Rhea was never one to openly communicate such raw emotion. Vulnerability wasn’t her forte, as some would say. Nate was potentially one of the few people in Rhea’s life that had seen it, which also meant she knew when she was withholding it. And the way Rhea’s mouth twitched and her nostrils flared a fraction… God, it was chilling.

“It’s torn us apart,” the Australian continued. “Finn, JD… they’ve been going off at night. Come back in the morning smashed out their gourds. Dom Dom’s become a-a fuckin’... I don’t know, a child. Disinterested in figuring this shit out, avoiding any confrontation.”

Nate pulled her mouth into a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah, well, Mysterio’s never had balls big enough for that, has h–”

“Don’t you start on my Dom, alright?” Rhea’s blue eyes locked onto Nate’s; a kind of warning sign to shut the fuck up… Mami is not in the mood, it seems…

“Rhea, I had nothing to do with Damian’s death,” she said sternly. 

The stare-off was intense. Long. It wasn’t in the books to be blamed for Damian’s death, let alone by Rhea Ripley herself.

“I… am not ruling out the possibility that it was your family,” she said finally. “If I find out it was you,” her jaw tightened, “or if you had… any part in this, I swear…”

“You swear you’ll do what?” Nate’s response was automatic, a defensive reflex. She squared up, straightening her posture and lifting her chin in provocation.

Rhea’s eyes hardened, mirroring Nate’s stance. “I will make sure, on the soul of Priest, that you… and everyone you have ever cared about pays.” She placed her hands on the kitchen island and leaned in. “I won’t stop until I’ve torn your world to pieces. Starting with little Katerina.”

Nate clenched her jaw, swallowing harshly as she felt her own muscles twitch—telling her, commanding her, to raise her hand, to slap Rhea into next week. But she remained still.

“Very scary, Rhea,” she managed to calmly utter. “But it wasn’t us. We’re not that stupid.”

Rhea’s gaze bored into her, searching for any hint of deception. Slowly, she seemed to relax, though the mistrust didn’t completely leave her eyes. “Alright, Nate. I’ll take your word for now. But know this,” she pointed her index and middle finger towards her face. “I’ll be watching.”

“Good,” Nate replied, accompanied with a sour smile. “Now can you get the fuck out of my apartment?”

The eradicator’s smirk returned as she headed for the door. “You know, I always liked that spunk, Natalka,” she commented, winking at Nate over her shoulder.

Despite herself, Nate felt a small smile tugging at her lips. But she was very swift to push it back into her face, running her tongue over her teeth.

Complicated histories induce complicated feelings.

Just before Rhea left entirely, Nate did call after her with a slightly softer resolve. “I really am sorry… about Damian.”

Rhea paused at the doorway, her back to Nate. She didn’t turn around, but she nodded slightly. “Thanks,” she murmured, and then she was gone.

Rubbing her temples, she squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to keep her wits about her, stay sharp, dump the self-pity she had a history of wallowing in. 

Besides, she had other things to worry about. Other things she needed to put her energy into. Sure, it stung to be suspected of such betrayal, especially by someone she had such a rich history with, but she really did need to focus. Review plans for the auction. Make a headstart on bringing justice for her mother.

Look into the man she swore to bring down.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

There was a promise of rain in the Manhattan sky as Nate sat in tense silence, eyes fixed on the cityscape gliding past the window of the SUV. Boris was seated next to her, adjusting the cufflinks on his tailored suit, and casting her sidelong glances every now and then. His attempts at small talk had been met with cold indifference, but that didn’t stop him from trying.

“Prekrasnoye plat’ye,” he hummed with a slight lean. “Brings out your eyes.”

Nate didn’t bother to reply, only to deposit a glance of her own down at her dress. Her mind was elsewhere. She knew this auction was important, but it really was just another chore for her. Dimitri’s reiteration of his orders before Boris arrived at the house were clear—acquire the weapons, keep an eye on Boris, and most importantly, don’t cause a scene. That little defiant streak in her bristled at the final order. Wanted to defy the notion of not causing a scene. But it wasn’t an option—not when there were such tensions mounting between her family, The Judgement Day, and The Bloodline. It kept repeating in her head: let Reigns announce we took the shipment. He knows they did it, and they’ll pay for it…

The car came to a halt outside Grand Central Terminal. Boris was quick to step out, offering Nate his hand. She ignored it, slipping out of the road-side of the vehicle and adjusting the deep green silk dress that clung to her curves. The slit running up her thigh allowed for much easier movement, though she hated how it made her feel like a display item at one of these auctions.

“Natalka?” Boris said, an edge of impatience creeping into his voice.

Nodding curtly, Nate followed him through the grand entrance of the terminal. The main concourse was as busy as ever, but their destination was far from the prying eyes of tourists and commuters. They made their way to a hidden entrance near The Campbell Bar, a restored 1920s-era cocktail lounge that served as a front for tonight’s event.

The bar’s luxurious interior—dark wood panelling, vintage leather chairs, and dim lighting—set the tone for the evening. They were greeted by a tall, stern-looking man who eyed them both before nodding and stepping aside to reveal a stairwell leading down to the auction room.

The room below was a stark contrast to the opulence above. It was an intimate, dimly lit space, with the rich and powerful of New York’s underworld already seated around a series of tables, discussing the illicit goods that would soon be up for bid. 

Nate’s eyes swept across the room, assessing each figure. She recognised some of them—arms dealers, drug lords, and corrupt politicians. Others were new faces, potential threats she needed to keep in mind.

Boris loved to play up to the people—to play the part of the doting gentleman. He guided Nate to their reserved seats right near the front. Eyes landed on her as they passed through the crowd, men noting her presence, women sizing her up. But she was used to this—the scrutiny, the judgement. It all slid off her like water off a duck’s back.

The auctioneer, a slim man with slicked-back hair and a sharp suit, took his place on the small stage at the front of the room, tapping the microphone to get everyone’s attention.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he began with a smoothly practised cadence, “we have some exceptional items up for bid tonight. But first, let’s start with something a little closer to home…”

The first few items were standard fare—high-end jewellery, rare art pieces, a couple of luxury vehicles. All of them stolen goods with tampered mileage and licence plates, of course. Nothing that caught Nate’s interest. She waited patiently, though, knowing the real reason for their presence was still to come.

Finally, the auctioneer reached the point of the evening that had everyone leaning forward in their seats.

“And now, for those of you with more… unique tastes,” he said with a knowing smile, “we present a collection of belt-buckle knives and sword canes, custom-made and perfect for those unexpected moments when a more subtle touch is required.”

Nate felt Boris shift next to her, a greedy glint in his eyes. This was what they were here for. She watched as the auctioneer’s assistants brought out the weapons, displaying them with care. The room buzzed with mumbles and murmurs as the bidding began.

Her mind was sharp, calculating each move. She noted who was bidding, how high they were willing to go, and when it seemed as if the bid couldn’t go higher, that was when they’d sweep in. Whenever Boris raised his paddle to bid, she shot him a quick glance, subtly signalling her validation. He nodded, understanding her cue. They usually had limits, but that wasn’t the case tonight. Dimitri wanted those knives, and he would get them.

As the bids climbed higher, nearing six digits, Nate took a moment to survey the room again. She wanted to know who had given up on their bids and who still had the money to continue. But that’s when she saw it. Noticed it. The familiar face in the crowd—tall, imposing, and stood towards the back. In the shadows.

Roman Reigns.

Her heart skipped a beat, her crossed legs stiffening under the mask of her dress. What the hell is he doing here?

The golden-green of her eyes shot through the darkness in which he presided, when his own gaze landed on her, the recognition in them too stark not to notice. He knew the Volkovs would be there. Had to—why else wouldn’t he react similarly to how she was? Or maybe he was and he was just fucking good at hiding it. At least she was wearing a dress to cover up how tense her muscles became.

“195,000!”

As the bidding war intensified, Nate’s focus snapped back to the auction. Boris was still in the game, thank God, his hand raised as the numbers climbed higher and higher. But her mind was now divided, half on the auction, and half on Roman.

“205,000!”

Why is he here? What is he after? Why isn’t he bidding?

“Sold! For $230,000 to bidder number 13!”

Boris won the bid just as Nate’s thoughts began to spiral. The gavel came down with a resounding thud, and a smattering of spiteful applause broke out in the room. Boris turned to her with a smug grin, clearly pleased with himself.

“See? Easy,” he whispered, leaning in a little too close for comfort.

Nate forced a little smile, but she was already thinking ahead. The auction wasn’t over, but her attention was no longer on the weapons they’d just won for Dimitri. She needed to know what Roman was doing there, and more importantly, if it had anything to do with the shipment.

As the next item was brought to the stage, she glanced back to where Roman had been standing, but he was gone. Her pulse quickened. The unease settled in the pit of her stomach. She didn’t even care about the additional illicit items that were put up for bid. Boris was completely oblivious to her almost frantic scan of the room, probably taking a moment to stroke his own ego at the win. Even if it was a given, and money bore no issue.

Suddenly, the lights flickered—a brief pulse of darkness that sent a murmur through the crowd. Nate stiffened once again, her instincts screaming at her that something was seriously wrong.

And then it happened.

The room plunged into darkness, the auctioneer’s voice cutting off mid-sentence. The dim emergency lights kicked on, casting an eerie red glow over the room. People began shifting uneasily in their seats, some even rising to leave.

“Uh—apologies, ladies and gentlemen,” the auctioneer tried to project his voice over the switched-off microphone. He leaned back to talk to someone, presumably asking what the fuck was going on. “It seems there’s been a bit of a technical difficulty, just bear with us…”

“Stay here,” Nate hissed at Boris, already pushing up from her chair.

“But—” Boris began, but Nate was already moving, slipping through the crowd during their none-the-wiser confusion. Some people were clogged near the exit, their natural instincts telling them they had to leave, but Nate wasn’t heading that way.

“You!” Nate spun to see another man in a perfect suit. “You’ve been here before, right?”

She raised an eyebrow, and nodded slowly. “Yeah…”

“You know where the fuse box is? I gotta keep everyone under control.”

“What do I look like, a janitor?”

“Will you just go check on it?”

Nate sighed, realising that doing this simple, tedious favour for a stranger would be synonymous with Dimitri’s order of not causing a scene.

“Yeah, I’ll handle it.”

She did, in fact, know exactly where the fuse box was. It wasn’t too many years ago where she was instructed to switch the damn thing off in order to secure an item without bidding for it. Play the role of a ditsy woman who didn’t know any better once someone saw her standing near it.

As she navigated the darkened corridors towards the fuse box, she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Being alone down here, in such strange circumstances. None of it just seemed right to her.

She turned a corner and nearly collided with someone in the narrow hallway. As the faint, red emergency lights flickered, she found herself face-to-face with none other than the exact man she was so unnerved seeing earlier on.

They froze, staring at each other for a moment that felt like an eternity. Neither of them had met in person before, but they knew each other by reputation. God, did they know of each other… Roman’s family may have been less familiar with the Volkov family, minus Tamina who literally knew everything, but he knew as much as he needed to. Research and all.

For Nate, the anger was instant. Being this close to the man responsible for not only Damian’s death, but for her family missing out on a prime shipment of goods. Words evaded her momentarily, and she took an instinctual step backwards.

“What are you doing here?” Nate snapped sharply.

He smirked a little, rocking back on his heels. “Thought I’d check out this wonderful place y’all got here—”

“Don’t bullshit me, Reigns, I wasn’t born yesterday.”

Whatever was left of the smile on Roman’s face instantly faltered, and his eyes became icy, cold, narrowed with frustration. “Listen, Princess, I ain’t here to pull shit… Unlike your family, I have some con—”

“Unlike my family?” Nate huffed, pointing to herself. “What, the family that your family fucked over?”

“Think I’m just gon’ spill my business to you, Volkov?” He let out a rueful chuckle, running his hand over his beard. 

“Yes, actually,” Nate folded her arms, pursing her lips. “When it involves getting screwed by some sloppy amateurs, yeah…” She squinted her eyes slightly up at the over 6ft Samoan. “...I think you should spill your business.”

Roman’s eyebrows raised a little, slightly taken aback at how bold this… little girl in front of him seemed to be. How she just carelessly called The Bloodline sloppy amateurs. Impressed wouldn’t be the correct word here, but the correct one was floating nearby it. It still pissed him off to no end that she thought she could speak to him like that.

“You got some fuckin’ nerve,” he grumbled, jaw clenching.

Nate smirked, amused at the fact she clearly managed to creep under his skin, even if only a little bit. “Y’know, people speak, Reigns. I’ve heard a lot about you, and not only from my father.”

Tilting his head to the side, Roman gauged her tone. Smug. Provocative in all the wrong ways. “Yeah? What’s that supposed to mean, Princess?”

“It means I didn’t expect to be able to anger you so easily, Mr Head of the Table…” The smirk on her face turned pitiful. It almost bordered on a pout, mocking his very existence through the red hue of the corridor.

She watched with great interest as his features twisted, neck craning through an attempt to subdue the inevitable outburst that bubbled up within his chest. He couldn’t make a move on her. Couldn’t bash her pretty little head against the breeze block wall inches to their left. It would be the stupidest decision he’d ever make. He would be dealt with… irreparably.

She chuckled, stepping back again to lean against the wall opposite him. “So let’s cut the shit,” she started, her face dropping neutrally. “I think we both know why you’re really at an underground auction. And it’s not to admire the architecture.”

Okay, she’s good, she’s good… Roman found himself stunned—for a microsecond, but it still happened nonetheless. The last thing he expected was to confront Natalka Volkov tonight; Tamina was very thorough with what the best cause of action would be. As much as he desperately wanted to take the abduction route, to use Dimitri Volkov’s precious daughter as a pawn to get his half of the shipment back… He had to trust that Tamina knew enough about the Volkovs to know that taking Natalka hostage would be the least helpful solution.

He just didn’t expect the girl to square up to him verbally.

But as encumbered as his thoughts were in that moment, they were fleeting, and he was able to respond almost immediately.

“Damn right it ain’t to admire the architecture—I came to take back what’s mine.”

“And what exactly is it that you claim is yours?”

Seriously? “You gon’ ask me that? You really gon’ stand there in front of me, and ask me a dumb fuckin’ question when you know exactly what I’m talkin’ ‘bout?”

“Well, maybe you should tell me what you’re talking ab–”

“I’m talkin’ ‘bout my half of that damn shipment!” He hissed through gritted teeth.

Nate scrunched her brows up, pushing herself up from the wall. “Oh, the shipment that you took?”

“Don’t fuck with me, Volkov, if I had that shit, do you really think I’d be stood here talkin’ to your ass right now?”

“And if I had it, do you think I’d be down here, looking for a fucking fuse box so I can get the fuck out of here, let alone talking to you?”

“Oh, so it’s just a coincidence that you’re here with your fiancé, at a fuckin’ auction, right after a whole ass shipment disappears—you people really need to work on your stories, ‘cus they suck.”

“You people? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean you people,” he finally took a hefty step towards her, “you, your daddy, your uncles, and whoever else the Russians fuck with these days.”

Nate refused to back down. She wasn’t about to be ridiculed, talked down to, accused, by someone like Roman fucking Reigns.

“Okay, big man, let’s say we did take the shipment and kill off The Judgement Day’s VP—we didn’t—but let’s just say we did for a second…” her voice dropped to a confident, patronising hum. “The last thing I’d be doing is wandering around New York with little to no protection, present at an auction if a shipment of weapons we stole was being put up.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Ugh,” she groaned, running her hand over her face. “My dad wanted this collection of knives, Reigns, we aren’t here to sell a shipment of heavy-duty weaponry. Y’know… the weapons you stole.” She added through a mumble.

“We didn’t steal shit, Volkov,” he barked.

“Well if you didn’t, then who the fuck did?!” Nate flung her arms up. “It sure as fuck wasn’t us, it had to have been you!” Alright, rein it in a little, Nate, don’t let your emotions get the better of you…

Roman’s fists clenched at his sides, rolling his shoulders. “You really expect me to believe you had nothin’ to do with it?”

“We’re not that stupid.” Four words, each punctuated like a stab in the ribs. “I cannot think of a single reason why we would ambush our own shipment and take out an ally.”

Roman then took a smaller step towards Nate, the space between them shrinking to almost nothing. “Maybe you wanted more than what was agreed.”

Nate’s heart pounded in her chest. “Maybe you were looking for an excuse to clean house. Blame us, take over… Call it retribution.”

The silence returned, but this time it wasn’t born of hostility. It was the silence of two people realising that the pieces of the puzzle they’d been trying to force together didn’t fit, no matter how hard they pushed. Nate’s gaze faltered for a fraction of a second, a moment of hesitation that she immediately regretted.

Finally, needing to break the tension and get away from the confusing mess of thoughts swirling around in her head, Nate took a step back. “I’m checking the fuse box,” she said, the words coming out sharper than the words that started the conversation. “If you want to keep playing detective, be my fucking guest, Reigns.”

She turned on her heel without waiting for a response, leaving Roman alone with his own puzzled thoughts on who was to blame.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Roman was expecting—no, hoping—to come home to a silent house. Too much had happened over the past few hours, he really needed time to just… exist. Try to regain composure, a semblance of cognitive power, to figure out what the fuck he was going to do.

It wasn’t that he believed Natalka Volkov when she insisted her family had nothing to do with Priest’s assassination, or the disappearing shipment. As she loved to remind him, one could not be so stupid. But he’d be a liar if he said some of her points didn’t… make sense.

When Roman stepped inside, he was met with the muffled sound of voices coming from the living room. He sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose before heading in. The sight that greeted him wasn’t what he wanted after the night he’d had. Tamina was in the kitchen, packing up her laptop, looking more frustrated than he’d ever seen her.

“You’re still here?” he asked, the edge in his voice suggesting it was more of a lament than a question.

Tamina looked up with tired eyes. “It’s like tryin’ to find a needle in a stack of fucking needles.” She closed her laptop with a soft thud, rubbing her temples. “Closest I got is a fucking liquor store’s CCTV across from the Volkov’s warehouse in Queens. Not much to go on, though.”

Roman sighed, running a hand over his face. “I appreciate it… but if there’s nothin’ solid, we’ll just… regroup tomorrow or somethin’.”

She gave him a curt nod, gathering her things. “Alright. Just don’t do anything rash, we still don’t know who’s pullin’ the strings here.”

“I know,” Roman muttered, though his thoughts were already a tangled mess of plans, suspicions, and dead ends. “Thanks, ‘Mina.”

Just as Tamina was packing up, the unmistakable sound of boisterous laughter erupted from the next room. Roman’s shoulders slumped in exasperation. Of course, they’re still here too…

He found them sprawled out on his sectional, their energy levels somehow still through the roof, even at this hour. Jey was flipping through channels like he was searching for something he’d never find, while Jimmy was narrating some ridiculous plan about how they should handle the Volkovs.

“Bruh, I’m tellin’ you, we gotta roll up on ‘em, catch ‘em slippin’!” Jimmy grinned, throwing an uppercut in the air.

Roman leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms, exhaustion dripping from every pore. “Y’all ever go home?” he grumbled, though it was clear the question was nothing short of rhetorical.

“Home? Uce, you know this is home,” Jey replied with a wide grin, finally landing on some late-night talk show that neither of them would actually watch.

Roman gave him a flat look. “Funny. Real funny.” He walked further into the room, lowering himself onto the opposite end of the couch with a weary grunt.

“You find out what went down at that auction?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Roman resisted the urge to roll his eyes, knowing his attempt to deter wouldn’t be enough.

“Come on, man, you know we gotta know!” Jimmy chimed in, sitting up and looking at his cousin eagerly. “We can help, you know we got your back.”

Roman huffed heavily, rubbing at the back of his neck. He knew they meant well, but right now, their relentless energy level was the last thing he needed.

“Fine,” he relented sharply. “Natalka Volkov swears they didn’t take the shipment–”

“Damn, you actually talked to he–”

“She claims they’re just as in the dark as we are. And she was pretty damn convincing…”

Jey whistled low, exchanging a look with Jimmy. “So what, you think someone else is playin’ both sides?”

“Could be,” Roman replied, though he wasn’t entirely convinced. “But I don’t trust her. Could just be another angle she’s working.”

Jimmy leaned forward, his eyes narrowing in thought. “Man, we should just storm their warehouse, make ‘em talk. They can’t hide from us. You need–”

“What I need is quiet. Not a couple of hyperactive idiots who think they can solve everything with some half-baked, adrenaline-fuelled idea.”

“Okay, but hear me out–”

Roman cut him off with a sharp glare. “Enough.”

The room went silent, the energy dampening as Roman’s tone shifted from annoyed to outright deadly. “You think I haven’t thought of it all already? You think I’m playin’ with some amateurs here?”

“Chill, Uce,” Jey said, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “We just tryna help.”

“I don’t need help. I need you both to leave,” Roman snapped, the fatigue in his voice barely masking the anger simmering underneath. “Now.”

The Usos exchanged another look, this one less amused. They could tell Roman was done, and for once, they didn’t push back.

“Alright, alright, we’re gone,” Jimmy said, getting up. “But just say the word, and we’re there.”

“Yeah,” Jey added, grabbing his phone from the table and patting Roman on the shoulder. “We got your back, Uce.”

Roman didn’t respond, just watched as they finally made their way to the door, their presence a lingering buzz in his already overworked mind.

As the door clicked shut behind them, he let out a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding. The silence in the house settled around him like a blanket, but instead of comfort, all he felt was the weight of everything that happened—and everything that still needed to be done.

Finally, he allowed himself to sink into the couch, closing his eyes, trying to shut out the world for just a few minutes. But even in the quiet, all he could think about was how… wrong everything felt. He wasn’t sure who was telling the truth, wasn’t sure who was lying to his face, or who might already have a knife aimed at his back.

He just knew he was too damn tired to figure it out tonight.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, he’d sort this shit out. But tonight… The man just needed a few hours of sleep.

[gloomforrestrunes]

hi i am digging your baby son adoring us video, it's absolutely cool hehe, and i am wondering about halo meanings, it's most likely not correct at all but i wanted to share my thoughts (basing on what i know from all the information you shared about aiden and his family lore so far)- sooo i think aiden's halo is a reflection of who he is "adoring" you know - when aiden is a pup, he seems to have the exact same halo as his parents have, which would mean he once was close with them and saw them as parental figures. and later, after vis ruined everything and when question came in the picuture, aiden's halo changed - now it's hollow, and has no rays. question seemed to have no halo, so i like to think that aiden is slowly, piece after piece, losing his halo as well, most likely due to question's influence, so eventually he would be just like his new father figure. but when aiden would lose his halo eventually, as he didn't lose it on video? maybe offscreen, after killing his family - that remained part of halo could be interpreted as the last string of attachment to his family and past life, so logically after getting rid of them there would be no strings attached - not anymore. he didn't want to be associated with them anymore, so that would make sense in the same time vis's halo seems to be interesting, as it's hollow as well, but has rays (although smaller than those seen in marianne and aster's halos) - maybe after vis revealing the secret, aiden started to internalize everything vis told him, meaning he kind of got "influenced" by his uncle, so his halo was starting to slowly lose the shape formed by his parents, and started to become more like vis's. now about the meanings of halo elements, which i am afraid would be over-interpretation (could be an alternative for influence-shaped halo though)... filled halo would mean trust, and empty halo would mean no trust at all. not sure what rays would mean though, as both aiden's parents (and younger aiden) and vis had them. losing halo would mean turning away from light kingdom, as i am certain halos mean light kingdom and no halo means dark kingdom. what hooked me was the fact the halos looked different depending on character and the fact aiden's halo changed shape, and it was the reason why i made that theory in a first place 😅 also by the way, marianne seemed to be pretty much upset at the beginning, with baby aiden mayhaps? maybe she was just exhausted from childbirth and i am looking too much, but she seemed to be uneasy during an entire video... oh god, i have a feeling "the secret" would be somehow related to existence of aiden. i have one theory about it but i prefer to keep it to myself, at least until the secret will be revealed in comic... maybe one day i will share it though bruh i am sorry, it turned out much longer than i expected it to be, a real behemoth of chaotic thoughts, but i love analysing and i rewatched the video 30 times already 💀 i love your work so much

never apologize for sending me long analytical asks i love that shit!!! you definitely caught onto my intent with what the halos represent, im glad someone caught that!

[otomes-and-tears]

i’m so glad ahaha!! ^^’ i was worried i got into our life and xod too late because your analyses were the highlight of the shiloh tag for me when i went through it last week and i need more!!! um one weird thing i wanted to hear your thoughts about is that sometimes in the game jb is like “you’re a menace” or “you’re a danger to society” and shiloh just goes “thanks!” and such as usual. do you think he’s acting like that is a compliment or pretending she said something else? thanks again for indulging me hehe

I can relate to that. When I started getting really into XOD I barely saw any recent posts about it aside from some drawings here or there, but I'm very much the "be the change you want to see" kind of person and started posting stuff anyways! It always makes me giddy to see people engaging with my analysis. Like, yeah, are they entirely self-indulgent? Absolutely, but it's nice to see people taking something out of it. And I do quite like being the "Shiloh analysis person" auhsuahs

As for your question… I think it kind of depends on which point of their relationship they are in. On the second amusement park date, for example, when Shiloh talks about his relationship with his father, JB straight up says that she finds him ignoring his parent so that people can excuse his behaviour as him lacking a father figure to be unsettling (which, to be fair, IT VERY MUCH IS) and he tries to very gently soften the blow without it seeming like he's backtracking too much. There are points early on in which Shiloh is probably employing something similar to his selective memory (by choosing what he wants to hear) and points much later in their relationship when Shiloh has already broken down some of his tactics and said some pretty disturbing shit, when I interpret his responses as much more playful. Like, by prom, if you've done all his dates, JB and Shiloh have spent a substantial amount of time together. If after all that time with him she isn't at all discouraged by even his most disturbing behaviour-- and even at points encourages it, I guess he figures out that they aren't really a threat to their relationship. It's their fucked up way of flirting!

[autisticempathydaemon]

your match up game looks so fun ‼️‼️‼️‼️ i wanna try it out hehe (rambling ahead)

1. beast of blood by malice mizer :3 i honestly don't have a reason other than it being chaotic enough that it fills up empty noise in my brain lol

2. 5w6 !!

3. ohh i LOVE youtube essays/analyses whether i'm fully listening or have em as background noise, i love horror youtube deep dives, particularly about analog/digital horror series and that one creepypasta iceberg hehe

4. i don't think i've ever had one ? to be honest i don't think i ever thought abt it until i saw it in like . cartoons n shit , never rlly knew about the concept of imaginary friends as a kid 😭

5. recently i use redacted sleep aid audios but most of the time i just . stay awake until my brain shuts down 🤞

6. honestly? i never thought abt this . but the first thing that came into my mind was veronica (idk either!!) though if i genuinely wanted to change my name i'd want it to be gender neutral, and tbh i doubt i'd have any important meaning behind it i'd just pick whatevr sounds nice

7. guy's sleep audio !!!! i joke about wanting guy angst a lot but to be real . this audio of his is so vulnerable .. like before that we only saw him being a goof and stuff yaknow . . idk that one forreals hit different 4 me

8. as much as i love every character, i do not understand why gavin is the most popular😭 don't get me wrong , love him, maybe it's because i haven't listened to the fl series but i do not get the hype💔

9. i don't know all the words per se but i would have to say mean girls . . as problematic as that movie is now its iconic and i love it and i need to rewatch it BAD .

10. damien tbh . haven't gotten to his other audios but i think i would want 2 be besties w him i relate 2 him a good amount (he also seems like the type id be intimidated into doing well in school for)

11. to be real i wld not be able to ramble if im tired LOL i think i'd be more quiet bcz i have a hard time sleeping to begin with

12. tbh just a soda (coca cola bcz i am basic) i go to convenience stores n stuff after school so im only there to pick up something quick before i go home so im in and im out 🔥🔥

13. the 2007 sweeney todd soundtrack 🤞 i cannawt find the movie ANYWHERE and its nostalgic to me so listening to the songs is the closest i'll get to scratch the itch in my brain

14. fnaf tbh EHWHEHW i've been into fnaf ever since i was a kid and it's stuck with me because it's what got me into horror n stuff  🫶

15. i'm a saggitarius, my mbti is INTP, i love horror and fashion, despite wearing a lot of darker alt fashion, my favorite color is pink (my phone case is decorated to the gods its very ridiculous) i like doing my own nails (funnily enough in bright colors) , i think i relate to honey the most in terms of personality, and i like to analyze most of the media im into!!

So part of my thought process is based on your personality types, the Troubleshooter and the Logician. However, I have to admit a bigger part of my reasoning is I think Asher would love your fashion sense and would contrast you so cutely.

Like, on a deep, core level, your personality types give me the impression of someone who’s thoughtful and analytical and capable of solving problems. Those are good traits for a beta’s mate, especially when Asher can have more social, impulsive tendencies. On a funsies level, I imagine Asher dresses like your typical So Cal dude, kinda surfer chic, and he loves your style and what an odd pair you make. Like, on all levels but especially physical, you are the embodiment of the black cat/golden retriever couple.

Asher loves everything about you, so many things about you he finds it hard to pick a favorite. He loves the contrast between your dark clothes and your bright nails, loves asking you to paint his while you’re at it so y’all can match. He loves watching FNAF theories with you, because he was definitely a FNAF teenager. He even loves watching scary movies with you though he’s terrible with them. (Asher’s the type that loves the adrenaline rush while it’s playing but regrets it once it’s time to lock up the house.)

Song:

In the car, I just can't wait/ To pick you up on our very first date/ Is it cool if I hold your hand?/ Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?/ Do you like my stupid hair?/ Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?/ I'm just scared of what you think/ You make me nervous so I really can't eat/ Let's go/ Don't wait/ This night's almost over

Given we canonically know Asher to be a FOB fanboy, it’s hardly a leap to assume he’s a Blink fan, especially this song. I think this particular track is not only fun and nostalgic to him but captures his energy and vibes, how he felt when he first fell in love with you. It’s also catchy as hell, so you know he’s singing this at you full-volume all the time.

Runner-ups:

Anytime someone says they’re a horror fan, I’ve got to put Guy in their big three; one of my top headcanons is that he writes some gripping horror and loves it as a genre. (I also think he loves FNAF lore and finds it so fun, though he was not impressed by the movie.) I also love Lasko for you because I think he admires your bold, authentic fashion choices and finds them inspirational.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[rawlinacademia]

Dark Academia Habits to adopt

i might as well just add, HEALTHY dark academia habits to adopt easily and fit right into your schedule if you have one. This beautiful aesthetic has a lot (not all) of creators promoting things solely on the basis of defined aesthetics from media which are tremendously injurious to one's health. Please, please please...don't hurt yourself trying to follow an aesthetic, in the short or long term , we have a ton of examples for demonstartion. And please don't hurt others.

Dark Academia Habits to adopt-

romanticize your eyes and the way you say things. No writers writing about your raven eyes? write a haiku for yourself. Be your own muse!

Read. Read. Read. Don't let the DA community pressurise you into reading just the classics. Read what your heart desires? Fantasy? hell yeah!…thinking of changing your life? Self Help books? Brilliant!

Dark Academia is the aesthetic for people who crave knowledge , for people who would analyse , who want to learn, with head full of philosophies , full of passion for what they do , who are ready to do anything to achive their goals…and most of all for people who wish to be all the things above and more.

Channel your Hermione or Rory or Neil Perry or any fav fictional character into yourself and get to work.. Okay but if someone is channeling Henry Winter …please in a limit guys okay?..

Why scroll on social media sites in your free time. Start a language learning journey..So many apps that give you a game like language learning option to do that! Work on your scrolling addiction and get to work!…

Analyze a snippet of poetry in your free time..not for anyone to show..but purely for your satisfaction.

Get educated, my bro. Learn about philosphers and their qoutes and just drop them in the middle of your convos…I bet you will sound mysterious and learned if not educated, smart and elite.

Drink water out of wine glasses, or coffee mugs or weird things you normally wouldnt. But drink water, keep your skin nice and healthy

Eat good food. meal prep or not but see what is going in you body. That will be responsible for your energy levels.

If you have a plain journal around, WRITE WRITE WRITE…i dont care what you write. poems , letters to your 1945's darling , or to your fictional character or telling your beloved (which you have met or not met) about your day. Dear diary is outdated ha ha… Dear Beloved xyz…who is stopping you from doing this shit?

Pretend you are the main character till you become the main character. Get the desired personality you want your main character to have. Good at public speaking? Hell yeah i will practice in the mirror for hours till i laugh seeing my stupid face mess up. Makes friends easily? For sure, imma hit my colleagues and/or classmates for a chat…or Looks mysterious to strangers? Practice makes things betters …DO IT..

Manners maketh man. Talk politely. Refrain from using crude language.

You dont need expensive clothes to feel dark academic. (who even started that!! )Choose your style, the one which you are more comfortable in and carry yourself gracefully. Walk long halls with your thrifted jacket and torn jeans… there are so many sub genres and division of dark academia… find your type AND AGAIN… healthy ones please

Oh romanticise your major. Who cares if all the posts are about english and languages and literature and philosophies.. STEM dark academia hello!!?! Writing equations and working hard for yourself , to get to that position you wish to be… the only mountain you gotta climb is you…

Be the friend you wish to have. You want a DA friend group in your university . Start doing all the things you wish your friend group did, who knows maybe... Well...we all know your vibe attracts yours tribe..hehe

Watch Dark Academia movies.. Movies that take you to your goal or are you trying to take a break? watch what you wish . Mona Lisa Smile, Dead poets Society , Pride and Prejudice (2005 or any), Little Woman, The Da vinci Code, The Imitation Game, The theory of Everything, SHERLOCK HOLMES oh god.., Sherlock BBC, Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean THE AGE OF ADALINE, Hamlet etc etc etc

Stay fit, read your fav book while taking stairs instead of the elevator/lift. listen to your fav spotify playlist while having a walk. I personaly like to listen to classical workout songs, i dont know which genius decided to compile upbeat classical pieces like that.

They make me feel like the main character while i am cycling or walking around. Whatever gets the work done right?

Decode. Research topics in cryptography, invent your own language and write things in it..leave sticky notes full fo symbols or different letters here and there..

Write Futureme letters to yourself. They are a window for your future self to look back to the time you are in. I usually write letters for myself and post them to my future self in 2024 or 2025 or 2030 or more.. i write in a world war fashion or somedays in my own style. I write to my friends and family members. They are also sorta snippets of my will..idk.. like if you are reading this , and i am dead in your time...then do this this etc . Nice way to look past Death, isn't it?

Utilise your full potential.Don't let your mind even think for a second that i could have done more…Do more.. over learning never hurts, add the Extra to the ordinary.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Others dont have the same life as yours,nor have they had the same circumstances, So focus on your self… let people talk… Focus on yourself, and focus on your progress.

and please rest…Give your body time to heal, soak up your desired light… moonlight is better for me, i despise sun light. Sit in the moonlight , in a park or in your room and just sit.. Relax for god's sake.

Be proud of who you are and never terminate your progress…Be Better! better than who you were last summer or few years back…

[goldenpinof]

Hi, Kate! Sorry, this ask might sound somewhat cynical. Is the show really that good? Like is it worth it? I'm having a bit of a faith crisis. By worth it I mean that in order to go to Amsterdam I'm planning a whole 2 week trip to France since the plane tickets cost nearly 1000€ anyway, so I'd rather make the most of it.

But then the trip is turning out to be quite expensive, yet the possibilities of sightseeing are very limited cause it's winter. I'm starting to think that maybe I should just give up on the show and simply visit France in spring. On the other hand I genuinely don't know whether we'll all be dead by spring or not 🫠 There's also like a chance I'll get to see the filming of a cool tv show if I go in February.

I'm fairly certain that I do want to go, it's just a very spontaneous decision and I've never done anything like this and idk whether I'm doing something fun and adventurous or just irresponsibility spending money.

I guess my question is: is the show entertaining/meaningful/funny or just kinda cute? How long is the sister Daniel segment? How long do they spend on phan theories and how wild (without spoilering) are they? All I know is that there's boxing, true or false theories and sister Daniel. Are there any other segments? I know people wouldn't be going to multiple shows if it was mid, but I just need some reassurance.

"just irresponsibly spending money" – me in September 😂 still didn't recover from it.

idk, how to answer this, apart from technical parts.

the Sister Daniel part is about 10 mins, maybe a little bit more. theories... idk how much time, and i don't have it in me to listen to the audio recordings. there are 4 pairs of theories, and the audience chooses 1 from each pair. they spend enough time on every chosen theory, but there are definitely some "fans favourites", hehe, and if people don't get those, it's kinda sad. some of the theories aren't even theories, they just say what we already know for a fact (cowards!).

other segments: doll house with dnp eras; 1 minute yap about what the audience yells; role model or no-le model (that's actually fun! in Europe specifically because of the cultural differences); their monologues (as if we didn't hear enough from Dan during WAD, i swear); the song (this. this alone was worth all my money. i wanna learn the lyrics by Amsterdam; i hope the UK, that is going very hard, learns the dance, and someone films the audience during the song). i don't remember anything else, but those are not all segments.

i can't say if you should or shouldn't go, considering the budget you are planning to spend on the trip. it's definitely gonna be adventurous regardless! but it also depends on what you're looking for from the whole experience (travelling + meeting phannies + buying merch + watching the show + discussing the show afterwards). since i was planning to check all 5 boxes, i had a good experience overall even if it had cost TOO MUCH money and nerves. but it could be worse, let's be honest. i was planning to travel Europe with them since WAD, so i was kinda prepared to go wild. the show itself wasn't my toppest priority, i would have travelled even if it completely sucked ass. i would say, Dan has put more into WAD as a show conceptually, although we didn't appreciate it enough at that time (and i say "we", and i will say it again, and i 100% include myself in this; those who were there will probably understand what i mean). maybe it's the problem of production, maybe – of the intent. i'm not ready to analyse this shit. is this show made better than ii? i wouldn't say so. will you regret missing it if you don't go? PROBABLY. it's all about the audience, you know. it adds so much to the experience. and you can't predict if the audience is gonna be good or bad, but the show is based on interactions, so you will participate in it, and that's the difference you don't wanna miss if we compare it to watching the tape when it comes out. also, tapes are usually polished. the beauty of going to the show is seeing them fucking up and improvising, unexpected things happening and them reacting to it (it doesn't happen on every show, but you can be lucky, you never know).

i'd say try to go. if you're not sure right now, you don't have to buy the ticket today or tomorrow. Amsterdam has enough of them for now (but check it after a few UK dates; the Brits may decide to travel after seeing the show). the show is entertaining for sure. meaningful? if you read too much into it (this is MY opinion). funny? sometimes :)

[brybryby]

VERY LONG POST IM SORRY. DONT FEEL OBLIGED TO READ

HI. Alrighty, this has been on my mind for a while (ever since promotional content for Trials started being released).

I have a TON of analyses in the drafts, but I want to make this post before I release them for public viewing.

I know that I like to make goofy, light-hearted little fan animations and fan art of Outlast, but I think I need to start changing how I navigate through the content. After spending so much of my time deep diving and writing up these analyses, my eyes have been opened to just how much the franchise revolves around fucked up historical events. I feel that some of the stuff I've posted is tone deaf, or at least the way I posted about it is. And I think—for the most part—there's an understanding that I don't intend to be harmful, but I fear that the way I go about it **is**. (And obviously, action takes precedence over intent.)

For contextualization, when I initially got into Outlast at the age of 12, I was enthralled by the horror aesthetics and found a lot of the angsty gore to be cathartic. I felt so “taboo” and “scandalous” lol (especially as a developing child trying to understand myself amidst my puberty stage). I was young and—for lack of a better word—braindead in how I navigated the media. I was naive, mindless, ignorant, etc etc… Now that I have a deeper understanding of the narratives and historical implications/influences, I need to do better in how I interact with the franchise.

What am I getting at?

Pretty much, I'm working on being more careful with how I interact with the media. At the same time, I want the analyses that I post to be educational. And most importantly, please message me if I ever say some bullshit. Seriously. All I ever want to do with my life is to be a positive impact. I genuinely get upset if I cause harm to someone else. (One time I literally cried at a high school football game as a freshman because I thought I hurt someone else's feelings. It turned out they were faking it lmao. Then they started feeling bad and then that made me feel bad for crying and yea yea).

Seriously though. I know that my posts can get public outreach, and anything that has public outreach can be influential and have a good or bad impact. So please let me know if I do or say anything harmful or ignorant. I won't be offended. I don’t want to spread harmful stuff. There are many instances in my life where people sit me down to have meaningful conversations about shit I've said or done and how I can improve myself.

That said, I'll be posting more analyses and making my own syntheses of historical events. My next analysis post will be about Waylon's Asian-coding (specifically Korean-coding), how Trials actually supports this (using themes of US immigration), and why it is apparent to many Asian fans (including me, hehe).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's pretty much it. But if you wanna stick around a bit further, I'll tell you my (excruciatingly long) story about how I got into Outlast :) along with how much it has invaded my brain and life :') and maybe get a little ~personal~ hehe

STORYTIME:

So, the game came out in 2013. Nearly 10 years ago. I was 12 at the time of its release. Let me tell you…this game was a HUGE impact in the horror community. HOLY. SHIT. It changed the way I looked at lockers and beds. I remember it being critically acclaimed (and rightfully so). It may have not been the most technical video game, but it certainly was a piece of art.

I remember commercials being shown everywhere. The trailer of beta Miles Upshur running and parkouring through Mount Massive while being chased by the tiny beta model of Chris Walker will forever be canonized as part my childhood. I remember specifically heading to the bathroom from my living room and my dad interrupting me to say “Hey! Check this out!” and then proceeding to play the trailer for my 12-year-old eyes. I was scared shitless.

Couple weeks later, Conan O'Brien featured Outlast in one of his segments of “Clueless Gamer” (yeah, my family and I used to watch Conan lol). I was very familiar with Slender and Amnesia, which were the 2 other games featured in this Halloween special, but this was the first time I REALLY got to check out Outlast.

Now, let me preface that during this time, internet culture was very interesting and even less safe than it is today. I had a ton of bad experiences on the internet during my childhood. But oddly (and embarrassingly), the emo/scene/horror/creepypasta culture was what brought me comfort amongst a sea of awful things you could find on the internet. It was probably unhealthy for my developing brain, but I indulged in a lot of angst that was presented with heavy gore and violence. And to be honest, looking at this kind of stuff at a young age helped me process a lot of my own personal shit that I experienced outside of the internet realm. (To be clear, I don't endorse this type of violence, and I don't endorse exploring the internet in the same way I did as a child—it was probably very unhealthy and I think it caused some early development issues.)

But nothing—and I mean NOTHING—scratched that itch more than the way Outlast did. I watched the finger cutting scene in Conan's “Clueless Gamer” and was fucking mortified. I was scared of the dark for weeks. But I remember spending that night in my bedroom looking at more Outlast content to get that cathartic fix to fill my emotional hole of…I don't know…morbid curiosity? I definitely felt shame at the time. I don't know. In recent years, I've been on this journey to process stuff I experienced during my childhood and I struggle to go about my middle-school/junior-high stage because…I don't know…puberty? Access to the internet? I once got bullied by a forum of adult men for posting fan art LMAO. I was 12 years old—I forgot what the fan art even was. ANYWAYS, yea. That was only one instance of my conglomeration of internet experiences. (Like many other peeps, I had to hide my gender & racial identity to preserve my sanity). Indulging in gore art was therapeutic and helped me release negative emotions in a non-harmful way. Horror-genre communities online have been mostly friendly and welcoming towards me. That's probably why I fell in love with Outlast as an art rather than a video game.

I wasn't in the fandom straight off the bat. I had other hyper fixations at times but I navigated through these other fixations with this personal “Outlast standard” where the art and fiction I consumed needed to be horror-themed, gorey, or angsty. And Outlast isn't solely to blame. I was into gore and angst before the game came out. It just so happened that it came out at such a perfect time in my life. (Horror made my queer self feel accepted)

This whole “Outlast standard” stuck with me throughout high school. Uh… this next bit of information may get a little personal. During my sophomore year, someone really important in my life passed away. Then I had this life-impacting thing happen during my junior year that changed how I perceived things forever (lol, this sounds so dramatic). I turned to art to help me process and yada yada… but y'know what really helped? You know what I turned to when I needed to “scratch the itch”? (I bet you'll never guess)

I finally considered myself a part of the Outlast fandom in 2018-2019. I was a high school junior/senior and I posted the Outlast-Outkast animation that got retweeted by Red Barrels. Had a lot of fun in the fandom during that time and it helped get my mind off of things. Also, I loved the fact that Waylon graduated from Berkeley. I was applying to colleges during this time and it made me romanticize Berkeley, lol. I ended up getting accepted. Had an awesome time. I recently graduated and got my Bachelor's. I'm very privileged and gracious for my experience. I spent a lot of grueling time and energy dedicated towards my education.

During my college years, a lot of the unprocessed shit from my childhood started resurfacing and it was becoming hard to navigate through life. I became really disconnected with people who were close to me. Art started to fall out of my life. Stuff happened. Got in touch with psychiatrists thanks to my college's free health services. I don't mean to downplay or normalize what happened, but I'll bring up that many college students deal with mental illness and depression (and this could be attributed to many things: moving away from family, student-life, financial pressure, pressure to secure jobs/internships, living alone for the first time, maturing into an adult, etc. etc.).

But I remember sitting alone in my studio apartment one weekend and started surfing Tumblr. I came across new Outlast fan art and it sparked my hyper fixation all over again. I re-read the comics and—OKAY THIS IS GONNA SOUND FUCKING RIDICULOUS—but I started jogging because Miles went on jogs LMAOOAKJDGHJAHKGFL. I finally picked up the pencil and started drawing again (after like…months) and drew Miles and Waylon flipping off Murkoff. And THAT was when I realized what the narratives of Outlast were actually about—FUCKIN' CAPITALISM AAUGGGHHH. MY LITTLE POOPOO BRAIN AT AGE 12 NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT. AND NOW THAT I'M AN ADULT—NOW THAT I CAN BLATANTLY SEE MYSELF AND MY PEERS AS VICTIMS/PRODUCTS OF CAPITALISM—CAN FINALLY FIND SO MUCH VALUE AND MEANING IN THIS GAME HHHRHRJGHKSDKFGLAJKDG SAY W H A T IM GONNA *explodes*

Then a year later, I started drawing more and more again. Trials' promotional marketing was becoming more prominent. I started posting my fan art on Tumblr. Then I made the fanimation (thank you Mr. Baichoo, you're so awesome, I will forever be a fan of yours) and now here I am. Still fixated on this silly little game for nearly 10 years. WHEW.

I FEEL LIKE A SHRIMP CHIP. Anyways, thanks. I much needed to get this off my chest.

Also, hey! Just wanted to say thanks for the friendly and welcoming interactions in this space. It feels so much safer and more comforting than previous internet experiences I've had. Since 2013, the fandom has evolved a lot. In my opinion, it has evolved for the better. The resurgence of new fans bring such refreshing perspectives and fields of knowledge that haven't been influenced by some of the harmful internet culture that I grew up in. So truly, many thanks to y'all for making the fandom space a nicer place (especially for such a heavy game). Also, what the heck, everyone in the fandom is seriously so talented and artistic

Uh… fan art time? (old stuff/sketches I haven’t posted)

But seriously if you got this far, thank you

[lesboygamzee]

ACT ONE - PART ONE

in reading homestuck again im going to try my best to analyse it to my fullest potential ; while i definitely like to enjoy homestuck Casually i think that doesnt necessarily mean i need to abandon fullblown analysis . i can acknowledge Hard Canon and The Implications in the same way i can acknowledge silly stuff + how im usually going to write characters . something something you have to know the rules to break them . thisll be half rambling half ( poor ) attempts at analysis and a bit of me going Hehe joke funny also i will use the characterses canon names and pronouns for simplicity + i feel its most suited . the exception is tavros because i have tried to not she/her tavros before and it was difficult and Painful i would never do that to her ... anyway .

[…] My intent was always to make the start date a very significant number in the story, recurring frequently. Consequently, I decided to make him thirteen years old, thus making the story about four thirteen-year-old kids. There are more references to this number than can be mentioned casually, some of which are serendipitous. Playing cards, which have a good deal of relevance later, are comprised of four suits of thirteen cards each, for instance.

(page 1 author commentary)

i wont point out every case of 413 occurring but i will point out cases i find particularly interesting or fun :o) the suit of cards thing isnt something i picked up on at first but thats interesting to know ! on page two john is incorrectly named ' zoosmell pooplord ' . zoosmell being a reference to an older comic ( series of comics ? ) of hussies . i read it to see if theres anything of value i can find in there ; even in the silliest and least plot driven media you can find some sort of significance to an authors later work . maybe an idea , a character archetype , or just the plot structure . zoosmells holds no value at all and is stupid though so

im not sure if i talk about it much but i do really like how each main characterses room is in homestuck . not only are they typically really good at getting across a characters basic interests but early on with the beta kids they really sold the whole ' webcomic pretending to be a game ( that is actually a game pretending to be a webcomic ) ' thing . the simplicity of it all , the items of interest scattered around in sometimes nonsensical places , even shit like how the walls are drawn just gives the impression of a guy who you can walk around and play as . and you can ! eventually .

Your name is JOHN. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about your room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. You also like to play GAMES sometimes. What will you do?

(page 4) time for analysing interests . while characterses interests definitely dont mean NOTHING in the greater scheme of things theyre probably not as important as most other shit . i find them fun to look into , though :o3

really terrible movies - i need to actually watch these , and i plan to ! im not much of a movie guy unfortunately . i dont think theyll be the end all be all of john analysis but i doubt theyll hold NO value . apparently theyre quite shit but i willing watch the big bang theory so i think ill be fine programming computers - john is the ' player character ' in a story that is currently quite programming-joke-heavy . the fact that hes kind of dogshit at it adds to this . guy doesnt know what hes doing yet and neither do you ! simple enough . paranormal lore - johns interest in ghosts is relatively significant but id consider it more ' iconic ' . the guy likes ghostbusters , his tshirt is a knockoff slimer , etc. i think all of the kids have one of these . it doesnt matter much in the greater scheme of things but i think its cool to see what interest a character is sort of built off of even if it gets overshadowed by other shit quickly ameteur magician - im a little lost on this one honestly . it can kind of go hand in hand with pranks i guess ? maybe theres something worth looking into with regards to characters and their relationship with magic . john seems to specifically focus on magic tricks which is opposed to roses interest in Real Fucking Magic . probably not though thats stupid

on page six is a rare appearence of the cursor . its a remnant from the homestuck beta where every panel was going to be a flash panel . it was ditched for good reason

its also one of the most blatant parts of the video game feel of early homestuck . thats a reader input interacting with a fictional world ! thats all there really is to say on it though i just thought it was neat

biggest plot twist in fucking history

You stow the SMOKE PELLETS on one of your CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS in your SYLLADEX.

(page 9)

i love sylladexes . johns is obviously based off a stack data structure . john rose and dave all have data structure inspsired moduses which i appreciate but i kind of like the silly ones that come into play later on too !!! like all of jades . unfortunate that they get dropped almost entirely eventually :o(

i should give characters that dont get one them . theyre pretty awesome i think

John: Examine Problem Sleuth Poster.

PROBLEM SLEUTH MENTION !!!!!!!!!!!

John: Read note on drawer. This note is rich with the aromas of FATHERLY AFTERSHAVES AND COLOGNES.

(page 12)

i made a seperate post awhile back on how dadbert is a sort of symbol of masculinity of fatherhood of manhood etc etc and more specifically how this interacts with reading jeggbert as transfem or otherwise Not A Dude . i still think that holds some decent value

In any case, you now feel like you have gathered enough things to get down to business and do some really important stuff. The next thing you do will probably be exceptionally meaningful. John: Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk.

(page 15)

snrk . anyway , since it reminded me : regarding analysis that strongly take timelines into consideration when i look at a lot of homestuck character analysis i see a lot of people try and make a point of ' oh the homestuck characters dont actually HAVE these specific character traits because in ANOTHER TIMELINE they did so and so ' and while i get that , timelines are interesting as a concept and its fun to think about , it doesnt exactly have a place in character analysis . homestuck is ultimately a story and the characters are less like people and moreso tools to tell that story . this is simple shit i am well aware i am not acting like what i am saying is revolutionary but it does lead to people losing the plot a little ( literally lol ) but like .. character a doing something instead of character b or character c sparing character d or whatever blah blah blah . did these all happen ? yeah sure probably . hell you can explore that in an au and ill probably go ' woah , cool ! ' because again its fun to think about . but it doesnt matter .. homestuck tells a story and while it focuses on multiple timelines . just because john took a shit on his desk in one timeline doesnt mean i need to be factoring in ' probably took a shit on his desk at least once ' to how i write him as a character . he would not fucking do that because he does not do that in homestuck . go and write your shit-on-desk-taker!john au but it has no place in canon analysis and you dont really need to think about it all that much

typheus is a wind god etc etc basic observation . i would really like to read more on the denizens and what gods theyre inspired by but the sources i find are really long and hard to parse .. ill have to look at other peopleses analysis if i want to understand anything i will be honest

on page 25 is the first pesterlog to appear in homestuck , between john and some loser nobody cares about . in a post i unfortunately dont have the link to , said loser is compared to a sort of tutorial character for early homestuck , similarly to johns status as the player character . obviously as homestuck goes on more characters become ' playable ' , as in you see the story through their perspective . but its a pretty neat observation for the early comic !

TG: but who cares about this lets stop talking about it TG: did you get the beta yet EB: no. EB: did you? TG: man i got two copies already [...] TG: why dont you go check your mail maybe its there now EB: alright.

(page 26)

^ classic tutorial conversation . go do your objective !!! your first quest !!!!

[...] The red flippy-lever thing means you have new mail. And that means the beta might be here!

(page 28)

FACT CHECK : this is false === SHITTY ASCII 'BANNER' THAT OF WE ARE DONE HERE ===

anyway it is day two of me working on twenty eight fucking pages and it just hit midnight which means i am going to play miitopia . this is likely going to be one of the shorter posts but i hope i get less rambly as i go on so i can read more than an average of fourteen pages a day jesus fucking christ . Anyway

[bonesandthebees]

Switches between referring to him as Phil and father, holy shit bee are you trying to destroy me?? This is sounding more exciting by the minute I can't wait to read and analyse the shit out of this. I'm so excited -❄️

gonna clarify so far it's not as intentional and meaning-heavy as the name switches in the narration in glass, but as time goes on it might become more of a purposeful thing hehe

(or maybe I'll go back an edit that in the first chapter I'm still deciding)

there's gonna be so much for you guys to analyze and theorize about i'm so excited

[andrew-nobody]

ive undergone a few changes myself, hehe. i can't just blow up into a supernova without jumping into your inbox!

i finally got a doctor to analyse my problems and diagnose me, and ive been doing pretty well since then!

has your girlfrie-sister been good? i suppose she hasn't been committing crimes, correct?

if she's recently separated the parts of a corpse for consumption purposes, she should give some to me. i want to bring some gifts to my realm as compensation for lazing around.

- solstarz

She probably has some roast limb she can spare. We’re trying a harissa rub seasoning. Let me know if it’s any good, Sol.

PS. Glad you went to a doctor and got that shit figured out. We heal in this house.

[runwhileyoucan]

 nice and not accurate things i want to see in good omens season 2 

Yeah, it's my wish. I don't care if it doesn't make any sense.

 All the fic writers out there go and use this. But Please tell me if you do. I wanna read it.

CW：angst

・if i don't get the angstiest tropes i might cry. What if neil does the 5＋1 time trop. I cry and Laugh. I can't handle this. Or myself.

・Yes please give me Crowley with long hair because I want it. Long hair Crowley moping around a shirt that he's been wearing so much it's started to crise, yes. Give it.

・I won't Gabriel and Belzebub to be living in Scotland, nere the pub and they invite Crowley for Christmas and easter.

・Crowley, please watch all Richard Curtis films on loop for 50 hours. Please

・As we confirmed Doctor Who exists in this universe, I want David Tennent and Crowley to meet. Just pass by him or something. Please lord.

・like Crowley being bored and gets super into dicter who.

・and he goes out to find david tennent.

・if i don't get muriel and Crowley's family dynamic i might not survive this shit.

・Crowley has long hair and muriel plating it for him, but they mess it up so Crowley teaches them how to plat hair.

・I want Crowley to go to space. I don't know, run into the sun and burn your wings I guess.

・I have this horrible idea that how much attention he's giving to the plants is how much attention he's giving to himself. And how he treats himself.

・Like season 1, he shouts at the plants threatening them so they grow better, but in season 2 there's that one plant that has a spot. But he's more relaxed so he doesn't get rid of it. 

・If s3 opens with Crowley surrounded by dead plants, i mait just not.

・I won't Crowley to have a massive ass grean house in this cottage. Please.

・I can't decide if i won't Muriel to eat food. Like it's in the grey zone. It would be super cute if Crowley, azi muriel went out to eat and stuff but also, muriels an angel.

・you know what I'm scared of?

・when s3s are going to be set in. A few years like s2? Or like right after. I'm scared. send help.

・i think if you know this we are in the same bout… give us demon summoning flash backs. I want it official. Give us the demon Crowley era.

・hehe demon Crowley gets saved by azi haha

・I want more Crowley with angst. Now. 

・Crowley just going into snake form because he can't be bothered to be a human

・keeps on analysing why the confession went so wrong and muriel, because they watched the whole thing keeps telling him its not his fault

・Crowley is going to his dark hair era because I want it. Go full emo. Please.

・I want Crowley to just never take his sunglasses off. Antill he sees azi. It's cute. And sad.

[silvermoonshipping-is-love]

Name: Melly

Age: 20+

Pronouns: She/They (Primarly)

From: Germany

Just a stupid queer and disabled fellow with too much time and obsession on her hands.

I mainly do self-indulgence content regarding the Gaming Creepypastas, mainly Ben Drowned and Lost Silver, and even have my own headcanoned Lore/Canonverse.

Said Content consists of art, sorta crafting and writing. However my writing can't really be found on Tumblr, as it gets little reception, nor do I seemingly really understand how fanfictions on Tumblr work.

But feel free to check out my written work here if you are interested (Or other art): DeviantArt, AO3, Wattpad

My side blogs! AUs Lovechildren

Please keep reading to get the full info about this account.

-

First things first: Despite being mainly about Creepypasta, this is not a horror blog. It is mainly about shipping, analyses, fluff or alike and memes. It is also mainly about Video Game Creepypastas, with only a handful being exceptions, like TV show based Creepypastas.

If you're a fan of more horror or the classical Creepypastas, this account is a miss for you.

Also I am NOT a Friday Night Funkin' blog! If you're looking for that content this isn't one such blog. I have unfortunate experiences with that community.

Also also this blog may still contain NSFW topics, and therefore may not be suitable for minors. Even if I'll try my best to filter and tag everything accordingly which may be upsetting to them, I ask to be aware of this. And if I happen to overlook something bad that would need to be tagged or filtered correctly, tell me please.

This blog mainly includes the ships of:

SilvernMoonShipping/DrownedSilver (Lost Silver/Ben Drowned)

BlindHomicide (Eyeless Jack/Homicidal Liu)

These two are the main OTPs

Other ships that may be included:

StrangledGlitchy

Dark/Link (or Phantom Link)

ExeDoll

ShedCakes

If none of these ships are to your liking that is fine, just ignore this blog. I don't intend for any ship wars. Ship and let ship.

Also note I am NOT a multishipper, or at least definitely not for the two main ships up there, so don't expect to request a different ship with any of the ones mentioned, because you will not get that here. With the ones under there I may reconsider, but again, this is not a place for shipping wars or to find content of a ship I don't create for.

-

Unless I or my depictions specifically state otherwise, all characters are usually intended to be 18+ Exceptions: Thomas who is usually 16 and Aika who is a little girl around 8-11

I am open for requests, but please understand or accept if I do refuse one due to skill or discomfort over what the request may be.

Also I tend to get phases of hiatuses or breaks and ask for you to be patient and not be worried. I may simply go inactive for a while. Unless I post that I fully left, there is no need for confusion or concern.

-

My asks are open, however while you can ask Ben and Silver usually from long ago, this is not a full on ask-blog. I still am happy over interactions via headcanons, AU talk, considering I have tons of self-indulgent shit to talk about, mainly Aus or simply wanting to know more about my canonverse/”lore”. Or even requests or also wanting to gush over how cute these ships are, this blog was mainly created to share the love for these beautiful moon bfs after all hehe.

I will try my best to answer asks, be it whatever, even asks at Ben and Silver, but again, be mindful that this isn't a full on ask-blog, but rather asks are open for different multiple reasons.

I hope I can do reference sheets soon as a pinned post.