#an unloving father and a sad mother... and an ANNOYING BROTHER....

[connorconsumestrousers]

just finish moral orel about 20 minutes ago.

yes I know it's. 1am

yes I know I should be sleeping

but I can't. all I can do. is sit here, thinking about that ending.

thinking. about them.

.....

them.

[hughiecampbelle]

Being Connors Favorite Sibling Would Include:

Requested: could I request something with Connor and Roy!sibling? headcanons, a fic, literally anything I'm in love with their relationship and how much they love each other. I think a little sibling that loves Connor the way he deserves would be so good for him - anon

A/N: I love Big Brother Connor!!! He deserves the world 💞 Thank you for requesting my love! Hope you like it!! Feedback is always appreciated!!!! 💜

Connor was ecstatic the day you were born. He thought he was done being a big brother, that his job was kinda done. Ken, Rome, and Shiv were grown up, they didn't think they'd need him anymore. Little did he know that you would be the closest to him out of everyone, that you would need him the most

Being a big brother is his favorite job in the world. He wasn't sure what being loved, really loved, felt like until Kendall was born. From the minute he could crawl, he followed Connor wherever he wanted. So did Roman. And when Shiv was born, he couldn't believe it. He'd always wanted a sister and now he had one. She was absolutely perfect

But you? You were his everything. Neither your mother or your father were all that interested, so the responsibility fell on him, not that he would ever complain. He loved it, even when you spit up on him. The other three were grossed out, hating to change diapers and getting annoyed with your crying, but he was more than happy to calm you down, sit with you, rock you back and forth, etc.

Your first words were his name, too, which almost killed him. Seriously, he still brings it up, he's so proud

He loved watching you grow into a toddler. You were a lot more fun. You could walk and talk and play. You loved when he got on the floor with you and played with you. He even dressed up with you when he wanted to play pretend, though mostly he was too tall for the costumes, so he made do with the hats and accessories instead

"Connor?"

"Yes y/n?"

"Why is the sky blue?"

"That's a good question. . ."

He takes you to preschool every day and tries to be there at pickup as much as he can. He loves to hear about your day, what you learned, who you talked to, what you played with, the snacks you ate, etc. He only gets more interested the older you get, when you learn about the planets and dinosaurs and you read all these interesting books. When school started, he was sad to see you go. You'd been his little buddy and suddenly you were all grown up

Every presentation, award, musical, play, game, show, everything he showed up for, front row with his phone out recording, cheering the loudest

He takes you camping, to the park and the movies, wherever you want to go. He thinks it's good for you to get out of the city

"Why doesn't dad ever come with us?"

"Pops is a very busy man. . ."

Connor is constantly sticking up Logan despite the fact that he's never really shown an ounce of love or attention towards either of you. He wants to protect you from that unloved feeling. He needs to, like he has with your siblings

No matter how small it seemed to you, it meant the world to him. Eventually you stopped inviting your mother and father, going straight to him. He'd tell the president to fuck off if it meant he got to spend a second more with you

He helped you with homework, staying up late at the kitchen table going over the same math problem again and again. He never got mad or frustrated, though. He'd take as long as you needed

You could do no wrong in his eyes. When you fought with Ken, when you argued with Shiv, when you pushed Rome, none of it was your fault. None of them could stand it

When you cried he was the first person you went to. When you got your heart broken for the first time, when you wondered why your parents even had you if they were never around, when you had nightmares as a child and when your worst fears came true, you cried to him

The older you got, the more distance you put between you and him. Kids strayed from their parents once they became teenagers, that's just how it worked. Still, he felt unprepared for the days when you wouldn't need him so much

He taught you how to drive and study with you before your test. You weren't very good, but you had no idea. He was ecstatic when you parallel parked the first time. He made you feel proud, even if at first it felt silly

He was there when you walked across the stage for your diploma for both high school and college, cheering the loudest. He made a rule that you'd call him once a week in college and you never missed it, not even once. You'd tell him about your friends, the parties you went to, to the people you were seeing. He wanted to hear everything

Everything you've accomplished, he couldn't be prouder

You go to his ranch as much as you can, enjoying the distance between you and your father. The older you get, the more you realize how he was never in your life and how much Connor was. It makes you sad, thinking he had to step up, take responsibility for his baby sibling. He is adamant that raising you was a pleasure, the best thing he's ever done

He has pictures of you everywhere. Of the others too, but mostly of you. You can't help but find them embarrassing

"I look like an idiot."

"You were adorable." He looks at them every single day, proud as ever

He visits you in the office, taking you out for lunch when he's in the city. He's the only one who doesn't work for your father, but he likes hearing about it from you. He can't believe how grown up you are, how adult you've suddenly gotten. It seems like just yesterday they brought you home. Now you had meetings and deadlines and your own interns to boss around

"Look at you, all grown up. I can't believe it!"

He's the first person you call when anything happens. When Kendall's gone manic, when Dad hits Rome, when Shiv seems off, when you're getting a promotion, a first date, anything and everything. He's always there to offer advice on how to handle the situation. He's been dealing with them far longer than you have

You show him how to use social media so he can see the pictures you post, not wanting to miss out on anything. There are lots of pictures of you and him together

"Who's that?"

"I'm kinda seeing them."

"That's wonderful! When do I get to meet them?"

Forget your mother and father, it's Connor you're worried about when you're seeing someone. They're never good enough for you. He quizzes them on everything, bordering on an interrogation. In the end, no matter what he thinks of them, he's happy you've found someone that makes you happy

You and him go on double dates with your partner and Willa, who adores you. She lovingly calls you Connors Baby. She's glad someone else loves him like he should be, instead of being used and ignored and neglected like the rest do

You're one of the most well-rounded, healthy, adjusted Roys to come out of the family, or as close as you can get, because of him

He always sits by you at family dinners and vacations, between you and Logan, hoping he can be the target for his anger if need be

When you drink too much he takes care of you, especially at weddings, and always saves a dance for you at the end of the night

"Thank you, Con."

"For what?"

"For everything."

You care very little for your father, but when he dies Connor is right there offering comfort. You were never close to him. You never got the chance to build a relationship with him, no matter how warped, like the others. Connor was your dad, you thought so for the longest time when you were little, your fathers day cards addressed to him instead of Logan. You're sad for your siblings who loved him despite it all

You're the only one to attend Connors wedding, cheering and clapping when they kiss. You wouldn't have missed it for anything

Connor has spent your entire life protecting you and for that, you will always be grateful. It's something you can never repay

[gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot]

The Seven Deadly Sins:

Wrath, Envy, Pride, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth

Price, Ghost, Gaz, Riot, Soap

Which one would they be and why?

- annoying anon

This one took a bit of time because I had to think about it. It's a great question! I'm also kind of sad I don't have more from my lovely anon (you're not annoying! please request me anything!)

Now, I don't think any of the guys would embody just one of the sins tbh. I think they'd present one or more characteristics from some of them.

Price - Price is Pride. Proud of his boys, proud of his team, proud of his morals, proud to stand tall and strong in the face of adversity, defending his people. I also think he's a bit of Wrath. There's a reason he's 'just' a Captain at his age, because he takes no bullshit from anyone and that I don't think is a good thing for being promoted.

Gaz - Gaz is a bit of Pride too, I think. And maybe Gluttony. Gluttony as in wanting more of life, wanting more of his career, of the higher ups doing something, of doing something that truly makes a difference and a change in the world. Gluttony doesn't mean just stuffing your face, you can have gluttony for bettering things.

Soap - Either Lust or Gluttony or both, but for the same reasons as Gaz (ok, he is a sex crazed gremlin alright lmao). He just exudes that joy to live, to move forward, to make things better. Taking anything with a smile and a joke, being the sunshine of everyone around him (MW3 didn't happen). Maybe a bit of Wrath because he sure has a temper

Ghost - Ghost... Ghost is Wrath. Dormant, kept deep inside, but Wrath. Wrath at his father, wrath at his mother for not getting him and his brother away from his father, wrath at his brother, wrath at Vernon, wrath at Roba, wrath at himself. He might act as calm and collected, but if everyone fears the Ghost is for something. He is also Greed, not for money, but for... things. He wants what others have: love, warmth, comfort, happiness, but thinks he is too broken, too rotten, too unloveable, so he just looks from the sidelines and keeps breathing and getting up in the morning because what else is he supposed to do. Maybe a bit of Envy too, seeing others act and live so... easily, without worries, without being afraid of showing themselves to others and be scorned or pitied.

Riot - In more than one sense, she is similar to Ghost. She has a lot of rage inside her, ever since she was a kid. Why wasn't she good enough for her parents to stay with her. Why wasn't she good enough for people to want to be friends with her instead of bullying her. Why, why, why. Why wasn't she recruited along with Soap by Price the first time (because women on the front lines were a huge no no yadda yadda. Also, *cough* Laswell meddling). Why did she fuck up her career by beating an asshole officer for being a wannabe rapist. Why did she end up in a Black Ops unit, despised by everyone, trying to make do with what little she had. Then Transnistria, killing everyone to get away, finally ending in the 141. Feeling that it'll be taken away surely. Also, Greed and Envy, for the same reasons as Simon. She is a bit more open with her behaviour (he has had longer to suffer in PTSD), but envies the people around her, envies how they can be open with their feelings (she envies Soap a great deal, he wears his heart on his sleeve)

[izzielizzie]

do you ever think about how SAD maeve's life must have been for seven plus years?

okay i have so many feelings about maeve fucking rojas and i will rant about it now because you asked

like in the us kids start going to school at age six? she was just starting to learn how to read and what numbers are she was learning how to share and how to make friends. and she was going to disney with her sister and they lost their teeth at the same time and her mother must adored her so much and she must have lived for that magical moment every day when her father walked through the door and got on the floor to give her a giant hug and it's all chaos because her mom wants a kiss but bronwyn wants to tell her dad about the new book from the library but maeve wants to show her dad the cut she got from climbing a new tree. and even though her mother kissed her better many times he pulls a chocolate bar out of the back of her ear and she's laughing and tugging open the wrapper while bronwyn tells her to hurry up because she wants candy too and her mom's annoyed that they're eating dessert before dinner but everyone's laughing so she doesn't really care. and then at night after she's all snuggled up in her bed her parents come in and read her a book and kiss her goodnight and she sneaks out of her bed to go sleep with bronwyn because she can and their parents find them there with their stuffed bears and when they wake up it happens all over again, every day better than the last because the whole world is new and bright and beautiful and

then it stops

and she's in so much pain and she's screaming but she doesn't know what it is because she seven for heaven's sake she's a baby and her mother won't stop crying now and she knows it's her fault but she's hurting too and she can't fix this. and bronwyn won't laugh anymore and her dad keeps saying that awful prayer - yo para ella - and she knows this is all her fault and if she could just go home everything would be better. and her mom stays with her but at some point she has to go to work too, and there are so many doctors she can't even remember their names and it's too much because she's seven and she doesn't know how to spell her name and she doesn't know what cells even are but they're growing too much and it's scaring everyone. and all the needles hurt and her grandparents are here now too but they keep looking like they're going to cry but it's tuesday which means that her favorite cartoon is on but the hospital tv doesn't have the right channel and she can cry but then some people will come with toys and books but they aren't the right people. and they aren't the right toys and there are no trees to climb and she couldn't even if she wanted to because it hurts too much

and she's still seven

and soon years pass. her mother stops crying. her father stops saying that prayer. but their eyes are hollow and sad and they don't smile that much any more. and bronwyn stops eating half of maeve's chocolate because it might be the last chocolate bar maeve eats. even if no one says it out loud. and soon bronwyn can't stand the sight of any type of candy because it reminds her too much of her sister. and then one day when maeve's a teenager - scrawny and hurting still - but older and wiser and broken, it all stops. and now everyone's happy and she's home but it's all wrong.

the couch is smaller than she remembers. the playroom is gone, replaced with an office. bronwyn's room is white now, not pink. she's too tall for the mirror in her room. the trees don't hold her weight. the basement has a media room and she knew about it but she can't bring herself to like it. but she wasn't there when they made the decision to finish the basement. her room is bare because no one has lived in it. she doesn't know how to fill it, so it ends up being a copy of bronwyn's. she only likes the window seat, since it's all her own.

and then she goes back to school for the first time since first grade and she vaguely recognizes some people, and she's so nervous and bronwyn leaves her for her friends the moment they walk through the door. and nothing makes sense and she's lost and instead of being helpful her classmates make the awful comments about her cancer. and she spends all of second period crying in the bathroom but she never tells bronwyn because this is hard enough on her sister no need to make it worse.

and eventually school makes sense. people are assholes but she has her sister and the handful of people who smile at her in the hall or pass her a note asking if she wants to hang out. but she's so damn tired. eventually she agrees to go to a party. the only party of her life because how often does she get to go to a party? but simon kelleher is there. and he's so desperate to be popular and liked that he has to take a moment from the life a girl who's only known terrible moments and put it on full blast.

and maeve's lost any progress she's made. and in the back of her mind, she's convinced herself that she won't live long enough anyway. so why does it matter? bronwyn will be hurt either way, so she sticks to bronwyn. and that works for a year. and hopefully for another three. but then simon happens. again.

now, it's bronwyn's turn to have the messed up life. and maeve is still hurting and broken and fucking exhausted but this is her sister. so she helps. she reads through so many 4chan sights glorifying something she's afraid of: painful death. but she keeps reading because this is for bronwyn.

and then it works. but now the whole world knows her as the sick sister who sent bronwyn spiraling. and it does nothing but prove to maeve that she's nothing but a nuisance.

she gets a boyfriend but it doesn't work out and somehow she convinces herself that she's just... unlovable. so when luis santos comes around she just won't accept the fact that she's worth the love she deserves.

so she dances around him as she solves a mystery that just hurts more and more people but she can't stop. until the most important person is hurt: nate. her brother.

and that's where it ends. we don't know anything else, and we won't for two years.

but we know enough don't we? enough to know that maeve has spent ten years hurting. and it doesn't take a year to fix it. it doesn't take luis santos and his smile. it doesn't take fierce phoebe lawton or kind knox myers. heck, her sister couldn't fix her.

maeve rojas is a girl who's known constant pain but never ever lets anyone else hurt. and maybe that's the saddest thing about her.

[deepdonutkid]

Hi, I'm so sorry it took me so long, I wanted to make it short as possible but always failed so...I have one that is somewhat short (this hurt me so much because when I'm describing something, it is LOONG) and second that is LOONG (that is why I warned you that I actually wrote horribly written "one-shot" or what it is actually, it would be much better, if you have time, to read both...when I tried to make it short, I maybe cut out important things...).

Like I said the girl is my OC, and her name is Sinon (given by Poll), but she is actually Maya (given by her real parents). And I gave names to her parents. But yeah, you can read it, consider if you will write it and change anything you want. Surely there are mistakes, holes and things that don't make sense.

I completely understand if you don't want to write it like "You wrote it yourself, what do you want from me, go to hell." But hey, I'm not a writer, I hate writing and I'm dead sure you can write it 100% better. To me, it looks like a grocery list. If you don't want to write it, just tell- JUST TELL ME TO F*CK OFF. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 (my apologizing must be annoying, welp, sorry once again).

So yeah.

I will send both, if you have any question, or if you don't want to write it, feel free to tell me.

➡ Short one: Ada brings to Polly a baby girl after the woman stopped her, gave her to her and quickly left. Ada discovers a small book, with the letter and a note with the name "Shelby" written on it. Polly thinks that the woman was a whore and the baby is his due to having also blue eyes. Polly decides to not saying anything to Thomas and adopts her herself. The girl grows and is known as an angel among demons. The Shelby's brothers love her, but Thomas...he lives for her. She loves him and he loves her (just...ugh 💝💗💘💓💖💕💞). They play, dance, everything. She is helping him with nightmares, bad moods, not hearing shovels, etc. Life goes by and Thomas loses his wife and brother. Polly and Ada want to cheer him up by telling him that the girl is maybe his daughter but he gets angry and says nasty things about the girl, she hears it and runs. After some time he wants to apologize but Ada stops him. She tells him she contacted the girl's family to pick her up. Thomas is devastated, not only because she leaving, but because he was just a dick to her and can't properly apologize. The Shelby's say goodbye to the girl and she leaves. After years (S5), Thomas is not himself anymore, regrets everything, etc. One day he is closed in his office sitting on the floor, mess around him and hallucinating. Then he hears knocking on the floor and is met with the blue eyes of the much older girl. He thinks she is the only hallucination and wants to shot himself, but she throws stuff into his face, launches at him, hugs him and pushes him and herself to the floor. She tells him that despite everything she loves him and that she missed him. He just hugs her tightly, begging her to forgive him and to never leave him alone ever again. They'll fall asleep and after a few hours when Tommy wakes up, his sister comes in and tells him she and her father are back and he will buy a house here. The girl never left Thomas's side and helped him heal.

➡ Disgustingly long one (it's funny how much of a useless words/sh*t Tumblr allows you to write): Ada brings the baby to Poll after a weak-looking woman approaches her and asks her if she could look after her baby because she needs to check something. When they take a look at it, their eyes meet with two beautiful big blue ones and an adorable smile of a baby girl. After washing the baby Ada discovers a note saying the name "Shelby" wrapped in the blanket. Polly immediately thinks the woman was a whore, got pregnant, then fell ill and now threw fruits of karma back at where it belongs, to Thomas Shelby. Ada asks Polly what they'll do now, but Poll doesn't say anything, Ada look at her and see Polly with a sweet smile and tears in her eyes. She wants to keep it. Why give this sweet little being to the most dangerous man in Birmingham when she can say nothing to him and rise her like her own? Ada agrees but is unsure at the same time...what if that woman wasn't a whore? What if she never had something with the Famous Thomas Shelby? She looked weak, ill, but stressed and maybe...sad? She remembers her crying and kissing this baby's head when leaving, that is not what unloving mothers do...

Polly rising this baby as best as she could now was the most beautiful, kind, clever, brave girl that ever ran through streets of Small heath. She had honey-blonde hair, similar to Ada's in style and length with long curtain bangs on her face and beautiful blue eyes, similar to Tommy's. She never liked girl clothes, always wearing boy clothes after Finn. Shelby brothers loved her so much, she never was problematic, never wanted to know things about the business, only have her little happy life and do fun things with her family when they made time for her, and oh boy they made it plenty. They played with her, danced with her, sang with her. But Thomas, a man who was drawn to this little girl like no one, was everywhere she was. She loves him and he loves her, she was something beautiful to him, peace in mind and heart, always melting how she treated him like a normal person, not thinking about all the bad things he did and just loving him for not so many good ones. He wants her to feel loved like she is one of them, not allowing her to question herself because somebody said she is not Gray, nor Shelby, that she is different and too good for Gypsies like them, like a real diamond among cheap bijouterie, an angel among demons. She helped him to sleep after every nightmare, with bad moods, stop hearing shovels against the wall.

Life goes by and Thomas experience the worst days of his life...he loses his wife and brother. The girl wants to soothe him everything will be fine. She was almost there when she heard Polly and Ada in his office, so she stayed behind the doors and listened to what were they about to say, maybe they trying to soothe him too. Little did she know what she'll about to hear. Ada and mainly Polly tells Thomas a secret about a girl Ada brought home, that Poll didn't find her in front of her doors, that in reality some whore approached Ada and pushed her her baby with a note saying the name "Shelby", and left. She didn't want to take care of a bastard child. And, our girl has the same eyes. But Tommy only scoffs and slams his hands on the table. After everything he's been through, they come up with this shit? They thought they are helping him, that his sweet girl is actually really his, that it will give him new hope for a new beginning, Thomas thought they can't be serious. His wife died, is now a single father, his brother died and now this?? He starts to shout he's not the father of good for nothing, any whore belonging, an odd, snotty and annoying child he never loved. Polly wants to beat him, strangle him but hears behind the door sobbing of her " daughter"...Polly is cursing his nephew before running after her girl, Ada following right after her. Thomas is unable to move, doesn't know what to do...He regrets every word second after but being stubborn cretin in his whole gory, he doesn't follow them but sit into his chair and let silence eat him alive.

After a few days of not facing his family and overthinking what to say and do, his sister stops him in his tracks. He's forced to sit and she starts to explain why is she here. She pulled out of her coat a burned sheet of paper, a small book and starts reading:

"Dear Thomas Shelby,

If you receive this letter...I'm begging you, please, to help my daughter. My name is Bella Rogers and I got separated from my husband, Scott Rogers when we were running from America to England. I heard about you from people in London. (Some people told her Thomas Shelby, so she went somewhere he likes to go in London, to his sister. And bc he never stayed long, she gave the baby to Ada.). I know I can't expect anything but please, contact this person (her husband's mother), tell her you saved my daughter, Maya Rogers. Tell them our names. You are my only hope now. Please help my daughter, please help me...

Thank you deeply,

Bella Rogers.

(Adress or number of her mother-in-law)

Ps: Please tell my daughter I love-"

And stopped.

Flashback: When the girl was growing, Ada confronted Poll with a small book in her hands.

Present: She handed the burned book to Thomas and he took it.

Flashback: She told Polly that the girl belongs to someone else and they deserves to know what happened to her and her mother.

Present: He carefully opened it.

Flashback: Polly knew it was selfish to keep her here, but she loved her so much she ignored every word.

Present: He started to spell the girl's name, date of birth, her parent's names, their date of birth...

Flashback: Ada begged Polly to think about this, she felt bad for a father and family that they didn't know what happened to them, but Polly had enough, she grabbed the book and a letter Ada was holding and threw it into the fireplace and with teary eyes left, Ada immediately took a piece of wood and got both things out of the fire, hoping that everything wasn't lost.

Present: Ada knocked on the table, drawing Thomas's attention from his thoughts. She swears she could see tears forming in his eyes when she told him she already contacted Rogers family and they are coming from America to get her back. He felt betrayed, he wanted to vomit. Ada tells him Polly already knows it and hesitantly agreed and that maybe it's better he said what he said, she wouldn't miss him that much and he made it easier for her not to think about him, which made him snap his eyes from the ground back to Ada. He asks her when they will arrive. An hour. Instead of getting up and do something he just sat there, sharply inhaled, and started crying. He cried, with his sister by his side, hugging him, crying as well.

When an hour was about to pass, they took all courage they had and get going to meet their girl's family and say goodbye. He wasn't ready. He never wanted to be ready for something like this.

Now they were standing there, in the uncomfortably big room, face to face with their Rogers family, two grandmothers, one grandfather and one father. He looked more beaten up by time than Thomas himself. They on the one side and Thomas, Poll and other Shelby's, Ada not with them but with the girl preparing. They greet each other, had a glass of whiskey, awkwardly debated about stuff, business, America...when then a young man asked where his daughter is, not willing to wait anymore. They called and there she was, hiding behind Ada's leg after coming into a room full of people she knew and didn't know. Her father immediately started to cry, slowly kneeled and opened his arms. She was looking at him and after a minute she starts to cry too...she maybe was the baby, but she remembers him, his face, his voice. She lets go of Ada's skirt and runs into his arms for the warmest and tightest hug she ever received. All members of Rogers family are immediately around her, introducing themself. And she's smiling, hugging everyone like she knows them for years. Thomas can't bear the sight of them so happy, especially her. He wanted so much to be in their place. He doesn't know why but asks Ada if they are really who they may be and Ada looks at him, understanding from where this is coming from. She shows him a slightly burned photo of their girl and her parents. "I remember how her mother looked like," Ada says. "And I remember her." Tommy is pointing at the baby in the middle, and Ada chuckles. "Yes, me too." "And now she about to be taken away from us and we can't do anything about it" ". Ada tries to hide her tears. They now looking at Arthur and Polly with Finn behind him hugging the girl and begging her to visit them every summer and Christmas. They kiss each other, Polly goes into a loving bear hug and kisses the girl on the cheek like million times. Uncle Charlie, Shelby's wives, even some of Peaky Blinders members themself like Curly. Now it was Ada who hugs the girl and then looks at her lovingly. "I'm gonna miss you, we all will." The girl softly smiles but looks at Thomas with an apathetic expression. Ada looks at him as well but Thomas is ghostly absent, just staring at the girl with glossy eyes, happy moments with his girl running in front of his eyes. He couldn't bear it anymore, he never ran from things, but now...He snapped into reality, quickly shaken with hands of the other side, wished them luck, TOO quickly ruffled the girl's hair and left, Ada following right after him. Rogers family just stared. Eventually, Rogers family said goodbye with the girl in their arms and left. They promised they will visit them.

That same day at night Thomas couldn't sleep, well, he never really slept after the girl left...

Years passed and Thomas was like a corpse, functioning only on 50%, if even. Ada and Poll tried to talk to him, Lizzie, his brothers tried too, but nothing helped, eventually all of them stopped. He regretted everything. One day was especially hard. Thomas was in his office, sitting on the floor with face in both hands. Around him a broken glass, two other chairs and papers. He was hearing his wife, crying charlie, shovels against the wall, gunshots, ghostly breathing. Everything was too loud. But nothing as loud as three soft knocks on the door. He lifted his head when a person who knocked came inside. His blue eyes met other blue ones. There she was, standing in front of him, much bigger and older, with a teddy bear he once bought for her. She still had it? How?. He couldn't believe it. He thought his mind is messing with him. You're not here, you're not real he said to her and every time he said it, she denyed that. He wanted to end this, grabbed his gun at aimed it at his head, but before he could do anything, a teddy bear hit his face. He opened his eyes and tried to process what just happened. You just threw your teddy bear into my face he asked. She said yes and that if she wasn't real, it wouldn't hit him. So...she was real? But how best to know your sanity is gone, then to welcome whatever your mind was made you see into your arms?

She ran to him, Thomas expected her to dissolve under his touch, but little did he know both of them would end up on the floor. She was giggling, saying he doesn't have any strength and fell easily, he on the other hand had eyes wide open, tears start to sting them. Thomas didn't waste a second and wrapped his arms around her warmly and tightly, proving to her even he can give this kind of hugs. He started to cry, cry like he never did, everything went out, rocking forward and backwards, face in her neck, begging her not to leave him alone ever again. He continued apologizing about what he said, for how bad he is, what he's done. She told him that despite everything she will always love him and that he missed him so much. He stroked her hair gently and she cuddled into him. He felt safe again. He finally was in peace.

When he woke up, he and the girl were covered in a blanket. He sits up. He smiled but got worried at the same time. How did she get in here? He needed to know. But before he could wake her up, somebody knocked. "Tommy?" Ada whispered into the room and walked in. She smiled, seeing Thomas with a little one sleeping in his lap, both covered in a blanket a cuddled to each other was....beautiful and cute. She carefully sits next to him and leans against his shoulder. He asked her how is she here, where is her father her, family. She said he didn't want to go back to America, his only plan from the whole beginning was to move to England with his wife and raise a child here, that he is buying a house. Somewhere nice and safe. In memory of his wife. A new beginning, new hope. And that she was sad and depressed. It wasn't fair from them to keep his daughter and it wasn't fair to just grab her and leave, promising to come back and never mean it. He put his cheek on the girl's hair and brushed it slowly. I think I can live with that he said. Ada chuckled. The rays of sunshine shined into his office. This is his new beginning, new hope. And he was willing to fight for it like a lion.

Eventually, the girl stayed with Shelby's family. The girl's father bought a house a few villages away so he could always pick her up and be with him. He made a little monument for his wife where his daughter put flowers Thomas or Ada bought. He knew who Shelby's were, but just like his wife telling Ada she trusted her when giving her baby to her, he trusted the rest of the family. Happy Ending!

Thank you for your time!!!!😍😍😍😍

Omg, you didn't lie, this was fucking long for a request... if this can be called a request at that length!

I really like the idea tho and it's super cute, Tommy with his daughter, etc.

Like you offered, I'm going to change a few things or to be percise... I will take the short version, because this already got me thinking and the long version was basically a story already.

I like to fill in the gaps myself and make this a full story, but it's going to take a while... because I have loads of other requests and I can't shut up... so I might write +10k again... for this idea.

Or multiple parts, I don't know yet XD

Gosh, I have to say it again... this is a long ass request... coming from meeee, the person who writes 12k ONE- SHOTS XD

Thank you for sending this in! 🌹

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Kingdom of Souls by Rena Barron

Summary: Magic has a price—if you’re willing to pay.

Born into a family of powerful witchdoctors, Arrah yearns for magic of her own. But each year she fails to call forth her ancestral powers, while her ambitious mother watches with growing disapproval.

There’s only one thing Arrah hasn’t tried, a deadly last resort: trading years of her own life for scraps of magic. Until the Kingdom’s children begin to disappear, and Arrah is desperate to find the culprit.

She uncovers something worse. The long-imprisoned Demon King is stirring. And if he rises, his hunger for souls will bring the world to its knees… unless Arrah pays the price for the magic to stop him. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐⭐️

Overall: Kingdom of Souls is full of worldbuilding and characters that draw you in, thought sometimes their actions want to make you rip you hair out. BUT! We really loved this book and are excited to see where this trilogy takes us! Oh also, we should mention there are a few trigger warnings that Rena Barron has listed on the goodreads. 

Spoiler-full review below!

The Good:

→ The Worldbuilding

Geena: So, one of the best things about reading this book was the amazing worldbuilding, which she based off of West African mythology. The kingdoms are complex, and the separation of the different people and their faiths was super easy to follow too. I’ve read so many books where they have some wildass worldbuilding that leaves you scratching your head but this author did a good job at making it easy to understand. Also, Rena Barron did such a good job at describing the magic system? When she introduced the witch doctors in the first few chapters I could just visualize how they were and it was like watching a movie in my head. Like I’m still thinking about that one witchdoctor and her tribe that came down on clouds….. Poetic cinema… 

Kae: OK, so! I really enjoyed reading the differences between the tribes and how they are distinguished from each other. Some people had their bodies covered in tattoos others were known for their tall and lean figure, light eyes, etc. it was very wonderfully written and I always knew who Rena was talking about when she was mentioning the characters or introducing new ones.  Sometimes others don’t do a very good job of separating characters by looks and they expect the reader to remember everything based off of personality, which is quite annoying. Rena did a wonderful job of giving all of the characters their own individuality so we wouldn’t have to struggle and figure out who was who even if they weren’t mentioned by name. The way she wrote the big city (which I cannot remember the name), was very well done and you could easily see the differences between the city and the tribal lands.  I also love the way she incorporated the religious ties to magic in this world and the origin story of how they got their magic. There was a war between the gods, and the God of gods gifted humans with his magic. There are even mentions of fallen angels technically. It was just really interesting altogether. 

Geena: Yesss, the origin story was also one of the coolest components of the book. Also, Rena Barron does this cool thing of interspersing chapters throughout the book that are from the perspectives of different gods and their opinions on whatever is going on in the book. I really enjoyed that even though the first time I read it I was lowkey confused.

→ Arrah

Kae: Arrah!! My sweet summer, very cursed child. Arrah is the daughter of two of the most powerful witch doctors in this world. Her mother, Arti,  comes from a tribe where she was known for being the next in line to be the chief and a high witch doctor. Her father, Oshhe; who is the son of the high priestess/witch doctor and his tribe, making him one of the highest as well. This lineage from which Arrah comes from, left many to have very high expectations for her and her magical abilities. Unfortunately for Arrah, no matter  how many magical rituals she went through, was not blessed with magic. She often beats herself up about it because she feels she has let her family down, and truthfully the only person she let down was her mother. Her mother is The high priestess, and I mean THE HIGH PRIESTESS The entire kingdom. So she often waves her daughter off and is not home most of the time anyway because she is fulfilling her duties at the temple. So our main character is very close with her father who is honestly everyone’s dream dad.  oshhe is the epitome of a perfect father. 

Geena: Reading about her relationship with her dad, I was like “it’s just not realistic.”

Kae: LMAO BUT HONESTLY THO!! So when the children start to go missing in the city people begin to worry. Arrah’s Self-proclaimed a little brother ends up going missing as well. This leads her to sell small pieces of her life in order to use magic for a short period of time and figure out who is stealing the children.

Geena: LMAO Kae’s “sweet summer, cursed child” is so accurate. All she wants to do is become a powerful witchdoctor so her mom will love her :(  Despite everyone around her saying that her magic (or lack of) doesn’t define her, Arrah lives in a constant state of anxiety where magic is on her mind. She isn’t the most perfect protagonist and I liked that about her, she made dumb decisions and recognized they were stupid… but did them anyways 💀 A big fucken mood… But then again a lot of what she does throughout the book is driven by her need to help others, like finding her self-proclaimed younger brother or selling more of her lifespan to find a way to free her father from her mother’s spell. Her personal relationships are a wreck too like this girl had a crush on Rudjek, the future royal vizier, it was very much a two way crush but the whole time Arrah was like “Idk does he :////” like u absolute dumbo… EVERY SIGN POINTED TO “YES”  AND SHE WAS STILL LIKE “I’m imagining things.”

→ Arrah’s Squad

Geena: Barron also wrote Arrah an amazing group of friends. Primarily, Sukar and Essnai, both her friends from the city who would travel to the tribal lands to visit their own tribes for the yearly magic ritual. Sukar was very much a himbo (like almost every guy in this book lmao) and Essnai was a wlw QUEEN who was the oNLY ONE WITH A STEADY RELATIONSHIP THROUGHOUT THIS BOOK. Barron really said lesbian rights by giving Essnai the most wholesome relationship. Sukar and Essnai didn't turn their backs on Arrah even after her family was banished from the kingdom for crimes that Arrah had nothing to do with, and even accompanied her when it was revealed that Arrah would have to die to set the world to its original state. Also…. Omg when Sukar, Essnai, and Rudjek found out that she gave some of her lifespan for magic they were literally that meme:

Arrah: So I did a thing

Them: What?

Arrah: Sold my life for 3 hours of magic

Them: 

Kae: LMAOOOOOOO BINCH 

Geena: I JUST LOVED HOW THEY WERE LIKE “U DUMB BITHC!!!!! I GUESS NOW WE ALL GOTTA HELP U DEAL WITH THIS” I loved their friendship so much :’) 

Kae: IT WAS REALISTIC AF. I’d also like to mention how everyone and her friend group was basically like “Did you and Rudjek finally kiss yet? No? Typical.” And they would tease Arrah and Rudjek CONSTANTLY. Arrah’s friends had her back through literally everything and were ready to die by her and Rudjek’s side. They were some real ride or die friends when it came down to it. THEY WERE WITH THE SHITS. 

Arrah and Rudjek: *standing near each other* 

The homies:

→ Arrah’s Dad

Kae: OK so we have Arrah’s father, Oshhe, who is honestly the kindest man that I have ever encountered. He is such a wonderful father to Arrah and does everything in his power to let her know that she is loved and that she does not need to possess magic in order to be loved. He is constantly showering her with the reassurance that she needs to have two accept who she is. Arrah is in love with the stories he tells her. He also allows her to hang out with Rudjek when they both know that Arti, Arrah’s mother, would forbid it. (Rudjeks father did some foul shit to Arti when they were young and she isn’t over it… which is understandable, considering he had her tortured.) sadly, Arti curses oshhe and he is under her spell. He tried to fight it, but his magic just isn’t as strong as hers. He is complicit in whatever Arti says while he is under her curse, but he is often sweating or staring off into the distance, because he is still trying to break free. He’s basically under my control, knows he’s under my control, but is stuck behind magical, mental bars watching everything go down well he can do nothing to stop it. It’s really fucked up.

Geena: Kae summed up Oshhe really well. We learn about how he met and married someone as unloving as Arti and it’s so sad. He’d always been in love with Arti from their time at the tribes, and he still loved her when she came to the kingdom and fell in love with the King. And he was the one there after Arti was freed from her torture, even though he knew that Arti would never love him back and that she wasn’t the same woman he’d fallen for. Also, when he tells Arrah something along the lines of that when she was born he knew she’d be the love of his life bc he loved his daughter so much it’s unREAL. He went to a dangerous forest and killed a mystical animal for her. And he would have killed the gods themselves if it had come to that. And like Kae mentioned he was under Arti’s mind control but was aware of the torture she was putting Arrah through, and when he finally gains back control at the VERY END… AND DIES RIGHT AFTER?????? BRO????? I WAS LIKE THE FUCK!!! HE DID NOT DESERVE THIS!!!!!

Kae: I WAS SILENTLY SCREAMING AT MY DESK 

Geena: GIRL RIGHT… IDK BUT HER DAD JUST WARMED MY HEART. HE DIDN’T DESERVE HIS DEATH… 

Kae: THAT SHIT HURTED. 

The Bad:

→ Arrah NOT CATCHING A BREAK  

Kae: So, I’m going to backtrack just a little bit. But when Arrah sells some of her so for magic, she does like this magic phantom walk and finds out that her mother is the child snatcher. Her mother discovers that Arrah knows this and curses her so she can never speak with ill intent against her mother. So whenever Arrah tries to get help or tell someone what’s going on she literally cannot talk. It’s pure agony for her. So her mother curses Oshhe, gets pregnant by a demon via possession of him, and is exiled from the country. So they take a boat and travel to this small town that is known for its unresting spirit activity. Time also doesn’t exist in this town so it’s very hard for her to keep track of minutes, days, months, etc. they get to like this hidden Temple where Arti gives birth to Efiya, the demon baby. Efiya grows rapidly. She is born, then she’s like 5 the next day, then she’s 10. Then she’s Arrah’s age, 16. Efiya is a SUPER powerful girl who has the power of actual Gods, and she is completely unstoppable. Arrah escapes, returns home to her friends, and they’re on a mission to try to stop Efiya. Rudjek dies, comes back, she and he ditch the homies because they don’t want the homies to get hurt. WELL!!!!!!!!!!!! Gotdamn EFIYA shape shifts to look like her sister, waits until Arrah leaves for a moment to collect herself after it gets a little HOT with Rudjek, and goes to take some herbs. OUR GIRL SAID I'M NOT GETTING PREGNANT. comes back and boom. She sees him having sex with her sister. She’s shooketh. And PISSED. And hurt. Then the homies find them, blah blah blah. And long story short, they find the temple of the Gods, she fights and Efiya and they  basically kill each other. BUT Arrah comes back and learns her and Rudjek can’t be together. BUT THEY KISS ANYWAY. THEY WERE LIKE FUCK IT. I'M HERE FOR A GOOD TIME NOT A LONG TIME. Oh, yeah… and Efiya killed her parents. That happened. And her grandmother. And all the elder witch doctors because she wanted to steal  their magic. 

Geena: Poor girl was just knocked around like a ping-pong ball. One tragedy to another 🤕 First, she can’t do magic for SHIT and her mom doesn’t love her because of that. Second, the guy she likes is her mom’s nemesis’ son. Third, every single person she cares about is taken from her one way or the other, from her adoptive lil bro to her dad. Like I thought the book couldn’t get any worse when she saw her dad be possessed, but then Rudjek dies? And when he comes back to life he ends up sleeping with her evil sister thinking it was Arrah. Right, we gotta mention… in an attempt to free the demon king Arrah’s mom has a half-demon half-god baby, aka Arrah’s sister 

Kae: SHE FUCKS A DEMON!!!!!

Geena: A DEMON IN HER HUSBAND’S BODY TOO… AND ARRAH WATCHES THIS HAPPEN IM SCREAM .. AT LEAST I THINK SHE DOES BC I HAD TO RE-READ THAT CHAPTER LIKE 2 TIMES

Kae: GIRL THAT SHIT WAS SO WILD WHAT THE  F U C K 

Geena: AND YEA…. TO TOP IT ALL OFF TURNS OUT ARRAH IS  THE REINCARNATION OF THE DEMON KING’S SOULMATE…. SO THERE’S THAT, NOT TO MENTION SHE AND RUDJEK ARE ILL-FATED BC TOUCHING EACH OTHER SAPS ARRAH’S MAGIC (which she acquires permanently after some wild rituals her grandma does before dying at Efiya’s hands). THE LIST OF EVERYTHING THAT GOES WRONG WITH ARRAH’S LIFE IS SO FUCKING LONG OH MY GOD I FORGOT HOW SHIT SHE HAD IT

The Ugly:  

→ Arti and Efiya

Geena:  The ugliest villains can be found in this book. We have Rudjek’s dad that had Arti tortured, which broke her mind and twisted her into an unloving and terrible person. Hearing Arti’s story pulled at your heartstrings, but did it justify her killing 12 underprivileged children to resurrect a demon with whom she’d have a baby with JUST so she could resurrect the demon king. In my opinion… no. Not even just that, but treating your own child like shit and basically ignoring she exists until the very end of the book where suddenly she feels regret for neglecting Arrah for 16 years. Overall, on a scale of 0-10 Arti is a -5 when it comes to the mom scale.  Also, Arti is a powerful witchdoctor, and she cant feign ignorance because I’m pretty sure she would’ve seen the future at one point and seen everything that goes down. The only good thing she did do was kill the man that tortured her and countless other women. I feel like I’m too harsh on her given what she’s gone through, but she essentially puts Arrah through the wringer by cursing her and forcing her to watch her dad lose his own body. I’M LIKE I DONT WANT PPL TO BE LIKE ‘UR JUS BEIN A BITCH, ARTI SUFFERED TOO’ LIKE yes she did suffer, but rather than taking action against those that put her through hell she chose to ruin the lives of innocents ju kno. 

Kae: YES!! Arti was on some bullshit and I get she got fucked up and the love of her life was against her. But like… don’t take that out on your daughter because you can’t use her to get back at your enemies. I think that’s exactly why she treated Arrah the way she did. Arti married Oshhe for his power in hopes to have a powerful child. When that didn’t happen, she was pissed and started planning for that damn demon baby. Her actions are all based on revenge and power and in the end, they kill everyone. Including Arrah, though she doesn’t stay dead for long. She literally is like “Nah, I got shit to do.” And the gods are like “Mmm ... we can’t let our sister be reincarnated into you again… soooo, no?” And Arrah is like “Too bad bitches!” And zooms back into her own body. 

And then there’s Efiya. Efiya is described as beautiful and looks much like their mother. She starts off as a sweet little girl who just likes being around her big sister. But once she learns human things, like playing and being a child, she gets interested in that, and begins to abuse her powers. 

Geena: I was kinda disappointed on how the Efiya storyline went because like Kae mentioned, she had started off as a sweet girl who loved Arrah. And I had thought Arrah would run away with Efiya and train her against Arti but bOY WAS I WRONG. Efiya is powerful and she knows it, she kills countless gods and absorbs their power, and when she kills Arrah’s grandma she tries to take her power too but for some reason it doesn’t take. Instead, Arrah ends up taking her grandma’s magic (along with every other powerful witch doctor). This annoyed the fuck out of Efiya, bc she’s supposed to more powerful than Arrah, prettier than Arrah, and just generally better at everything. So, Efiya is like ‘I can’t take your powers or see your future so I’ll fuck your man instead” …… very much 0-100. Near the end of the novel I still couldn’t tell, did Efiya really love Arti and Arrah? Because on the one hand it seemed like she hated the prospect of killing them, but on the other hand Efiya didn’t care about skewering Arti. She was a complex villain for sure, kinda in the same way Arti was. 

Kae:  OH. AND THE DEMON KING GAVE ARRAH SOME OF HER PAST LIFE MEMORIES BACK. So like, now a piece of Arrah feels torn because she loves everyone in her current life. But she was married to the Demon King in a past life and he is determined to have her love him again. And I feel like a very small piece of Arrah does. The Demon King wants her back so they can resurrect demons, kill the remaining Gods, and take over the world like they originally planned. SO. THERE’S  THAT. A big whammy for ya there. But yeah. Shits crazy. 

Geena:  KJDNFDS RIGHT THE WHOLE ‘MARRIED TO THE DEMON KING IN A PAST LIFE’ SCHTICK…. THE POTENTIAL FOR ANGST???? GOD I CAN’T WAIT. This is a love triangle I CAN get behind because it’s gonna be MESSY 

Kae: He also mentioned possibly trying to kill Rudjek. 

Geena: Oh yea oh man.... Wait... there is a meme for this 

Arrah seeing the Demon King and Rudjek throwing hands:

Conclusion

Kae: SO! In conclusion, we loved this book. The story was WILD from  Start to finish. Rena is such an amazing storyteller and her descriptions that were vivid without being overdone. You know how some others like to go on for 10 pages about the smell of the wind and the bark of a tree. But Ren does it right! My favourite part of the book has to be Arrah and Rudjek . being so awkward around each other and dodging the fact that they’re both in love with each other. It was really cute because neither of them wanted to ruin their friendship and I think that was very realistic. The friendships are also beautifully written as well. And the way Rena differentiates the cultures of the tribes from one another is amazing and I felt like I was there. 

Geena:  I agree to everything Kae said above, Barron does an amazing job in (like what we mentioned before) worldbuilding shit. AND YEA my favourite part was like when Sukar purposely hangs around Arrah to make Rudjek jealous JUST BECAUSE IT WAS SO FUNNY TO ME. But honest to god I’m so excited to see how it’ll go from here because it’s supposed to be a trilogy right, so there is SO MUCH that can happen and there are SO MANY paths this can take. 

[klynn-stormz]

Alone with My Heart

I know I should be working on Legally Swan, I really should. It’s been a rough month and well... Do you ever have those moments where you need angst and sadness and then you just start writing?! Yeah that happened. I am only planning on maybe three or four parts (crossing my fingers and laughing at my naivety) Any way I made this. Let me know what you think :)

Found on AO3: 1 I

To say that Killian Jones had lived a hard life was an understatement; to say that he was miserable because of it would be a lie. Having experienced so much loss, most would wonder why he still had so much life in him. It had occurred to him a time or two, just how alone he was, when those times came, he did what he did best - found the closest bar and drank until he forgot again. At 6 he had lost his mother to cancer, never having a chance to know her, vague memories of her hugging him sometime assailed him in his lonelier moments. At 8 his father left Killian and his sixteen year old brother Liam, they were separated, placed into different families by an unforgiving government. Within a few years he had lost his whole world. Four years later Liam found him; Liam was serving in the Royal Navy and had hired a private investigator to find his little brother, and took him in.

Killian had never expected to have a piece of his family back, for months afterwards he would wake up with nightmares that he was alone again. 30-year-old Killian liked to pretend that those nightmares didn’t still come at him. He was 15 when a naval officer came to their apartment with a flag in his arms and a solemn expression, and broke his world apart again. Three years of being bounced from orphanage to temporary homes gave him even less of a sense of stability. At 18 he met Milah, she took him on a whirlwind of an adventure. She made him feel loved, feel important, like he was somebody. That fell apart too, when he found out that she was married, that she had a child, and that she would never leave her husband for someone like him. At 20 he took everything he owned and sold it, except for the boat he and his brother had bought when he was 13, and without a thought to anything else, he moved across the world, to Boston Massachusetts.

He was reminded very clearly of everything he had lost as he stood in his nearly empty apartment. What had he been thinking? For a moment he had had hope, had felt happy and loved and everything. He had moved here for her, he had done everything for her, but now looking back he felt so foolish. He had been stupid to think that anything special could stay in his life. He was just meant to be alone, was meant to stay unloved. Everybody left.

---

Killian met Emma Swan six months after moving there. She was two years younger, just out of the system, beginning her career as a bounty hunter. Their meeting wasn’t anything to set off fireworks too, it wasn’t a meet cute, it wasn’t movie worthy or worth mentioning at first. Both of them had walls miles high and pain they couldn’t seem to move past. He was having lunch at the park and happened to look up, seeing a man running a full speed towards him, he was interested enough to take a closer look, and saw the blonde woman chasing after him. Deciding to be helpful he stuck out his foot and tripped the man as he was passing. The man went flying, the woman—no the girl, she could not be more than 18 maybe younger— ran to him and pulled cuffs out of her bag. Killian’s eyebrows had risen and he watched with interest as the police eventually arrived and took the man into custody. She had briefly introduced herself and thanked him for helping. When she walked away, neither thought about it again.

Until a few months later when Killian had just finished his shift at the docks and went to a small hole-in-the-wall bar for a small drink, nearly 21 and the fake id worked well enough for now. As he was cooling down, he saw the blonde from the park, rather than the torn jeans and band t-shirt she wore a short, tight, red dress, her hair was curled around her beautiful face, green eyes gleamed as she took stock of the bar. When she saw him she blinked and then smiled, moving towards him. He let her make her way towards him and calculated what the look in her eyes meant.

“Hey, you’re the guy who helped me at the park right?” She asked, sitting down across from him.

“Aye, Love.” He responded. He wasn’t in the mood for conversations, nor for someone who was almost certainly a minor to flirt with him. He admitted his attraction to her, but he just could not bring himself to care about relationships, one night stands or anything of the sort. His hand worked well enough, and it didn’t rip his heart to shreds.

The blonde tucker a piece of her hair behind her ear while she eyes him carefully. After a brief glance towards the bar entrance, she took a seat and smiled apologetically. “I hope you don’t mind me sitting here, you don’t look in the mood for company, but in this stupid dress no guy is going to leave me alone. Mind if I just sit here?”

His eyebrow rose as he stared at her, then spoke bluntly. “Love, forgive me for being a little confused. You’ll have to explain why you are in fact, wearing that dress, in a dive bar all alone.”

Her lips quirked slightly. “I’m a bailbondsperson and tracking a skip. Supposedly, this bar is a usual hangout for the bastard.”

“I’m Killian.” He smiled and held out his hand. She took it and shook.

“I’m Emma.”

Well, that had the park incident making more sense. They continued to talk for the rest of the night, she occasionally would glance at the entrance to watch for the guy, whom, Killian had found out, had skipped out on child support a few to many times. They both got to know each other a bit more, talking briefly about why they were in Boston, not going to deep. It was the beginning of a friendship that lasted longer than anything Killian had ever know.

---

He cared too much about her to risk her friendship by making a move, though he was deeply in love with her. She had a few relationships over the years, each one broke his heart a little more than the last, he had tried relationships as well, but no one compared to his best friend. Whenever she was in a relationship he could see her pulling away from him, she wouldn’t text him for days, she would ‘forget’ about their movie nights; then, inevitably, she would show up on his doorstep, broken hearted and in need of comfort. And no matter how much it hurt him, no matter how her silence had torn him up, he let her back in. Because Killian Jones was afraid, it was not something he would ever admit to anyone, not even his Swan, but he was afraid. Of being alone, of not being good enough, of failing. He had built up his personality to protect himself, flirting, teasing, pretending not to care. Because he couldn’t take the fear, and he couldn’t bear to let anyone see it.

Of course, that’s not to say he didn’t fight with her. Having a relationship with Emma Swan was in no way easy. Both had had a rough life, both were fairly untrusting at first, it took a few years before either were ready to admit that the other was all they had. They still had their spats, but for the most part, as the years had passed, they had cooled down. She was his whole world. At night, after she had gone back to her apartment, he would lay staring at the ceiling, praying to whatever was out there, that maybe he could become hers. And unbeknownst to him, Emma was wishing for the same thing, dreaming about piercing blue eyes and whispered words of love.

---

It had been a slow Tuesday, Killian had finished up work on the docks late. Emma had the week off, having caught a lucrative skip the previous Friday. They were on her couch binging The Witcher on Netflix, a pizza box was on the coffee table, one piece of meat supreme left, two hot chocolate mugs were placed haphazardly next to the box. Emma was curled into Killian’s side (she claimed it was the most comfortable position, it helped that it got her closer to him). They were both relaxed and on the verge of sleep when a knock sounded on her front door. She groaned while Killian shifted up to get the door. Once he was standing Emma dramatically fell sideways on the couch and buried her face in a pillow.

“Make them go away.” She groaned, making him laugh.

He wasn’t sure what to expect when opening the door, but it definitely wasn’t a couple in their early 40’s, clutching each other’s hands. The man stood taller than the woman, around Killian’s height, his brow was furrowed as he took in Killian, and his arm tightened subtly around the woman. Killian saw a glint of a wedding ring, and the way they were holding each other led him to believe they were married. The woman stared confused at Killian, he could see worry flickering through her eyes.

“Can I help you?” Killian asked, slightly annoyed at the silence of the two.

“We’re looking for Emma Swan.” The man stated.

“We were told she lives here. Who are you?” The woman piped in.

“What do you need her for?” Killian felt an urge to protect her, something inside him told him that this couple was going to change everything.

“It doesn’t matter to you,” The man snapped. “We want to see Emma, now.”

Killian narrowed his eyes at them. “You’re not talking to her until you tell me why you are here.”

“Killian? Who’s at the door?” Emma called, she had made her way off of the couch and walked up behind him, staring suspiciously at the couple.

“They’re here for you, won’t tell me why though.” He spoke without taking his eyes of the strangers. His gut was churning with anxiety.

“Emma.” The woman whispered, her eyes saucer wide and quickly filling with tears.

“That’s me, what do you want?” The tears made her uncomfortable, she sidled closer to Killian, not out of fear, but for support for whatever was going to come.

“Emma…” The man cleared his throat. “We—we’re your parents.”

“Excuse me?” Emma choked out.

“It’s true sweetheart!” Said the woman, “We are your parents, oh honey look at how grown you are.” The woman’s tears finally spilled over.

“I—I can’t… I need to go.” Emma looked sick, she turned and ran to her bedroom. Killian looked back to the couple, they looked hurt, but he didn’t really care.

“Please, just give her our number. We’ve been looking for her for a few years and we want—“

“It doesn’t matter what you want, it matters what she wants.” Killian cut them off.

“Who are you and what are you to my daughter?” The man demanded.

“You don’t have the right to that question, you lost that right when you abandoned her. If she wants to talk to you she will. If she wants you to leave her alone, you will.” Killian took the offered number from the woman’s hand, shut the door in their faces. He set the number on the table as he passed and rushed to Emma’s room. She was sitting curled on the bed, staring at the wall. He sat down on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, curling her into his side. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need too. All he needed to do was sit right here and be with her, for as long as she'd let him.

[endless-array-of-tom]

“Forget Your Love” (Chapter 1) - Loki x Reader

Title: Forget Your Love

Author: @loki-sharpe-hiddleston-imagines

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Genre: Angst. Maybe fluff as it progresses…

Summary (of the series): Loki may be a God, but that doesn’t mean he is comfortable with his own-being. He knew as much as he loved you, one day the demons in him will unleash–and overall do something to you he’ll regret forever. So he decides to leave you, forget his love for you. The one creature in the universe that would show compassion to you, (other than his brother and his mother). Years go by, and he unexpectedly meets you again in Asgard…his reaction is not the friendliest. What are you going to do to gain your lover back?

Prompts: “If you really cared, then why did you leave me?”  “You’re strong, mentally and physically–and I could never be that. Not in my entire God life.”

Note: this is the first time I’ve made a series on Tumblr! I’m actually pretty excited–and I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Word Count (for chapter one): 1140

You sat motionless in the chair, staring at the view from outside; the morning sun shined through the glass, right into your lonely eyes. You didn’t mind at all, your motionless state resembled to the objects around the room. You stared at the grassy plains long enough, he wasn’t coming back. Why would he anyway? You decided to be somewhat useful, and grabbed a small watering can on your dresser. Filling it up, you began to water the dead plants on the windowsill, endless array of thoughts clouding your sight.

You knew for a long time that he would abandon you, for whatever reason--whether it may be personal or for his own self-gain. Seeing you suffer from above, smiling contently at your sulking, depressed form. Somehow, you pushed away from the negative thoughts, attempting to be an optimist, and hoping for the better. What a fool you were for believing in happily-ever-afters. There was no such thing in this world…

And no Norse God could change that.

You were blinded by the happy memories the two of you spent; joyful laughs, the brightest smiles adoring both of your faces, everything began to swarm around in your mind. Your mind always told you to never let him get close, and know that he would leave you someday. Yet, your heart told you something completely different; you would be loved by him, and he would stay--because he felt the same…

Funny enough, the last thing he told you, was so heartfelt, you actually thought it was true.

He stared at you lovingly, his blue eyes holding so much emotion… he wrapped his arms around your frame, kissing your forehead tenderly. His raven locks tingling your neck, you giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck. He sat you on his lap, gently stroking your hair.

“Promise me… please…” you whimpered silently. You felt him stiffen at your words, you couldn’t help but frown at that moment. He pulled away from your embrace, gingerly rubbing his thumb against your cheek. A tear escaped from your eye, rolling down your cheek and onto his hand.

“Promise me,” she said it again, unconscious of the repetition. Loki stared off into amidst for a while, his eyes fixated on the ground. He suddenly grabbed you again, pulling him closer than before.

“I promise.”

How stupid of you for believing the God of Lies. The God of Mischief. Compassion was never your thing, neither was his--but you thought that you could make him stay. That he would keep his promise… that maybe… someone really did love you in this world…

Maybe you never should’ve believed it from the start… after all…

Who could love a monster like you?

You never revealed your past, your hidden scars, you’re worst moments in life--you locked them, buried them, from the rest of the world, which soon resulted in you isolating yourself from others as well.

Rejection… neglect… darkness… it was an old friend--it was nothing new to you.

You knew when Loki came from Earth, seeking refuge from who knows what, that he felt the same as you did. His eyes were so lonely, filled with guilt and sadness that filled him every single day of his life.

He didn’t express his emotions often… but when he did--they were always with you, when you two were alone… in the middle of the night. When he couldn’t go to sleep, telling you his adventures--his regrets-his fears… you were the only one he could turn to. The next day when you would comfort him, he would deny saying anything about it, that you were simply envisioning the so-called therapy session.

You thought Loki was genuinely honest when it came to you… he was friendless, unloved by his father, and hidden in the shadows constantly by his brother’s greatness, his light. He told you his mother died, and he regretted it everyday, blaming himself. He revealed to you various times that the attack on New York was not his doing… although it technically was, he didn’t have a choice.

He didn’t really want to rule Earth, he merely just wanted to be appreciated--and to prove to his father his birthright was not to die. But at last, nothing worked out for him in the end. Instead, not only the entire Asgardian race hated him, but the mortal race as well… his brother was annoyed of his antics--but his mother stayed.

Tears began to cascade down your face, flooding your eyes. You threw the watering can across your room, cupping your face with your hands. You sobbed uncontrollably, leaning against the wall behind you. You slowly slid down until you were sitting against the cold wooden floor. You immediately brought your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them and crying harder.

You were going to tell him… reveal everything about you to him. The part of yourself you hated--

Maybe he left you because you were too secretive…

Maybe he left you because you weren’t enough to meet his standards…

Maybe he left, because he found another, more suitable for him.

Maybe he left you because you never said you loved him… because when he told you he cared for you… you were too scared to admit to loving another--and nodded as a response.

You bit your lower lip harshly, tasting the bitter metallic fluid oozing. Yout fists clenched, four crescent moons imprinted on the palm of each hand.

You wanted to scream.

To yell.

To curse.

To do anything.

Because the people from above know… you’re not strong as people think you are… you’re an emassive bomb, ticking down to the last of its countdown before you explode for who knows how long…

A soft knock was heard. You gazed at the wooden door, staring emotionlessly at it. No one ever visited you, so who could it be? You came to the conclusion that you were being delirious, and acted as if nothing happened.

The knock soon came again, much louder than the first. You scoffed, wiping the tears from your eyes. You quickly unlocked it, revealing your disheveled state to your intruder. You looked up to see a tall, buff man with blonde hair, his shiny armor stinging your eyes.

“You must be Lady (Y/n).” The man said, his voice unusually deep. You glared up at the man, crossing your arms over your chest.

“And who may you be?”

“It doesn’t matter at this moment, I’ll explain along the way,” he said restlessly, grabbing your wrist and leading you out of your house. You kicked him furiously.

“And just where am I going?!”

“To Asgard.”

Tags: 

@josiewinters1999

[gwynne-fics]

Becoming Royals

picking up the pieces

Young-Do didn’t know how to comfort her. Rachel trembled and her cheeks were stained with tears. The entire palace would know, within hours, that the princes were fighting over the new princess.

“I hate this side of you,” she whispered as he slowly sat back down. “I hate the casual violence in the palace. I hate how afraid you are. You moved between us because you knew it was a possibility that he could hurt me.”

He closed his eyes. He knew exactly what she was talking about. “I’m sorry. He’s thrown things before. The king throws things and so...I don’t throw things.”

“I know how it works. I’ve picked up some of my mother’s bad habits too. The queens...”

“They don’t believe in me yet,” he said hoarsely. “It’s why they don’t trust me with their intelligence reports.” He looked up to find her eyes a little wide. He was glad they brought her into their confidence even though it stung. He glanced away so she wouldn’t see it. “Myung-Soo is right. The girls talk and they didn’t know that I’m not involved. Several times, they asked me to pass information on to my mother. I don’t blame them from keeping it from me. I’d hoped they would include you and you would...believe in me.”

Rachel started crying again and he couldn’t handle it. He slowly stood up and went to her. He was careful as he put his arms around her. It was a relief when she wrapped her arms around his waist and sobbed into his chest.

“My father warned me before I went to woo you that I had to be careful. There was no chance your mother hadn’t taught you everything she knew. It was a double edged sword. I needed your political acumen but he wanted me to keep you at arms length. Women like Lady Esther are not to be trusted. Women like Lady Esther change the course of history. He doesn’t want me dead because I underestimated a woman.”

Her muffled laugh was bitter. Young-Do pulled back and cupped her face. “If I do, I know it’s because I was unworthy.”

“Do not say that, my prince. It will never come to that.” Rachel started crying even harder. He picked her up and wished he was better at this. Young-Do placed her in his bed and ended up climbing in with her when she wouldn’t let go of him. He thought she fell asleep when she stopped shaking and he intended to find a wet cloth to wipe her face and hands when she fisted her fingers in his clothes and didn’t let him do more than sit up. “I have an idea.”

Young-Do tucked her hair behind her ears as she wiped at her face. “You need tea.”

She snorted but wouldn’t meet his eyes. “It would be easier if I just released you from your promise. Let me finish.” She covered his mouth with her palm when his protest started escaping. “I don’t want that. I don’t think you do either. I think you would be the sort of man, who would marry the Khitan princess in name only and never touch her to preserve my feelings. That will not work.”

Young-Do pulled her hand away from his mouth. “Because the value in that marriage is the potential for a male child.”

Rachel let out a low breath. “And what a horror for her that would be. Unloved by her king and providing no value to her people. It would put our relationship in crisis and we would be back here, having this conversation yet again, after the entire court puts pressure on me to encourage you to play husband to her. Except now, we would have children, and I would be so used to having all of your love that it would turn me into the worst kind of queen. I don’t think I could ever be like Queen Kyung-Ran with Queen Jae-Kyung.”

“Rachel...”

“We need to stop hiding it.” She shifted and rose up on her knees so they were the same height. Rachel put her hands on his shoulders and gave him a sad smile. “The king fears love so let’s give him what he is most afraid of. Let’s stop hiding our feelings. This last day has been awful, my prince. Let’s have Myung-Soo tell every single gisaeng how much you love me and how much I love you. I will visit you at the bridge every day. You will visit me at the school every day. We will touch each other and not hide a single moment. Gossip will do it for us until Khitan knows that marriage will not get them what they want so they will accept the next best thing. Let’s make the king afraid of you and me because our love will be written down in history.”

Her plan terrified him. He swallowed and tried to breathe evenly. He was so used to hiding what he loved from the king. He was so used to being afraid of the king. He almost rejected her plan out of hand but Rachel reached up and deliberately touched her binyeo.

“Alright,” he said hoarsely and Rachel slumped and her dress billowed up around her. It was like when they spoke to the General. All of the tension left her. She was exhausted and he started fretting again. “Do you need more to eat? I can order the kitchen--”

“I’m fine. There is still plenty on the table. I would like something to drink.” He eagerly accepted her request. He needed to do something for her. Young-Do quickly stood and hesitated at the teapot. It was cold. Before she could stop him, he sent a court lady to bring them new tea.

Once it arrived, he poured her a fresh cup and brought it over to her. Rachel went through the entire pot and every time he refilled her cup, the exhaustion plaguing her eased out of her eyes. They lapsed into silence but for the first time in his life, it didn’t feel heavy or uncomfortable. She eventually laid her head on his shoulder.

“You’re going to have to carry me out of here.” Then she said something odd. “You should do a surprise inspection of the bridge. There will be less opportunity for sabotage.”

“I’d rather fret about you right now.” Her soft smile was a gift after all the tears. She reached up and cupped the back of his neck. Rachel encouraged him to kiss her and he carefully moved her empty cup out of the way so he could return her embrace and lay her back on his bed. He wanted to ask her to stay in his rooms tonight. No one, especially after tomorrow, would pitch a fit. “Nam-Il inspects it every night. I’m sure his man hates me.”

Noblewomen have to care about their reputations. Gisaeng do not. It is unfair--Young-Do cut off Nam-Il’s voice in his head. He slowly stopped kissing her and raised his head. The court ladies would notice if she wasn’t in her room. Do not create a situation where she must choose between what she wants and what is expected of her. Remember your father did that to both of his queens.

Nam-Il’s voice didn’t shut up. It was up to him not to put her in a position she might regret. It was only five weeks. He waited almost two months to see her. He could wait to be with her. So he sat up, lifted her into his arms, and took her across the hallway to her room. Two court ladies and a maid were waiting to help her undress and wash her face.

Young-Do didn’t linger after kissing her goodnight. His heart thuded painfully as he recognized Father’s spies. He changed into simpler clothes and stopped by Myung-Soo’s room. His brother didn’t deny him but he did glare fiercely. “I don’t care if you like her or not,” Young-Do said flatly. “I care that no one else knows you dislike like her. I care that you respect her, both privately and publicly. She will be your queen someday. Do not sabotage her projects and become her right hand. I never want to hear her complain about you.”

Myung-Soo clenched his jaw. “I’m trying to protect you both from the king. Khitan--”

“I know. But it’s time to stop hiding and show him that we’re not children anymore. Change and meet me at the stables. The palace knows we were fighting. We need to fix it. When I become king, I want absolutely no speculation that I will purge the palace of my male relatives. That’s what Lee Chan-Hyuk wants to get you on his side.”

“Hyungnim...” He swallowed and then crossed the room. Young-Do hugged him tightly. “I have never wanted to be king,” he whispered fiercely. “I’ve never wanted to be crown prince. I’ve never been jealous of the attention our father gives you. Not even my very ambitious mother has wanted that for me. I am happy being your brother.”

“That will never change,” Young-Do said fiercely. “I love you, Myung-Soo. So stop taking it out on my princess.”

Myung-Soo gave an annoyed growl but nodded before he pulled back. “I check the bridge every night for you since the collapse. This is not going to the surprise you hope it is.”

“It doesn’t matter. My princess suggested it and I trust her judgment.” Young-Do ignored the way his brother rolled his eyes. “She also suggested...”

He almost couldn’t say it out loud. Myung-Soo sighed as he changed into warmer clothes and oiled boots. “She wants you to announce your foolishness. It’s a good plan. I told Ye-Sol how foolish you were and she suggested the same thing. She’s going to try and find out what Khitan wants instead. There are rumors...they are falling apart. They’re pushing this marriage for military aid.”

Young-Do briefly closed his eyes. As long as it wasn’t important territory, the king might agree to something other than marriage. He knew that Khitan marriage customs were different but after Goryeo was established as a unified and political power, they had fewer incursions from Khitan.

“General Lee will take that personally. You know he blames them for the death of his wife.” 

“Khitan did not kill her. She died in childbirth.”

“He couldn’t be by her side when it happened. If that happens to Rachel, I will burn the world, Myung-Soo. I didn’t understand his reasons before. I think I do now, and I’m not even married to her yet.”

Just two more years. Father was dying. If Hyun-Joo said it was two years, then it would be two years. She’d never been wrong about things like this.

“I’m surprised you don’t agree,” Young-Do said as they walked out to the stables. Myung-Soo was quiet for a moment.

“You will think less of me if I say my love for Ye-Sol isn’t like yours. She is with other men. I know, if I paid Chang-Yi more, I could change that, but...but Ye-Sol is very good at what she does, hyungnim. I rely on her to be that way so I can be...useful to you later. I want her to be my wife. I want her to come into the palace so I can see her more than just a few hours at a time. But if it doesn’t happen or I have to marry other women, both of us won’t suffer a broken heart.”

That just sounded so tragic to him. Young-Do hadn’t really...enjoyed the pavilion past the necessity of it after what the King had done to Hyo-Shin. He’d been too afraid to continue a relationship with Hyun-Joo once Father remarked on the oddity of his...fidelity. Sex at the pavilion almost felt like a duty to him and now that he had Rachel...everything felt right in a way it hadn’t for a long time.

“That’s the expression I was afraid of, hyungnim,” he whispered as they led their horses out of the stable. 

“I don’t think less of you. I just think it sounds sad and empty. Our father doesn’t love either of the queens or any of his concubines. He doesn’t enjoy their company. He doesn’t ache to spend time with them past needlessly rutting. His life is very empty.”

“I know.” He mounted his horse and they headed for the bridge. They weren’t stopped at the gate and Young-Do tried not to fret about the warm wind in the air. The pressure had changed since the afternoon and he didn’t like what it meant. He looked up at the gathering clouds and tried not to swear. “It’s going to snow. We’re lucky it held off this long.”

“Not tonight,” Young-Do quietly begged the weather. They made their way to the bridge and he was glad to see that all of the torches were lit. “We’ve almost got all the support posts in. If it holds off until tomorrow, we can build from the boats and no one will lose any limbs to ice. If not...”

“Spring.” Myung-Soo nodded at the bridge. “Look. No one wants to let the crown prince down.”

Young-Do swallowed when he saw about fifteen small boats already in the water. There were only three more support beams needed. The site was loud and full of people. Someone had set up a hot table to make tea and droves of common women, probably the wives or mothers of the workers, were drying wet clothes, replacing shoes, and serving tea.

He looked around and found Go Nam-Il directing the effort. “What is going on? This looks like everyone.”

“It is.” His normally taciturn bodyguard was smiling. “Il-Seok thought of it. He figured out if the entire crew worked throughout the night, one hour on, one hour in the sauna, that the final posts would be in and we could cover the bridge to protect it from the first snow. It was supposed to be a surprise, my prince. You were supposed to come after introducing the princess tomorrow. I heard it has been a rough day and half for her. Is she doing better?”

“Find a way to pay everyone double for tonight.” Young-Do tried not to gape but his jaw was a little slack. “Tell your man he has my undying gratitude.”

“He just wants me to have a night off,” Nam-Il said lightly. “This will free up the construction crews to work on the princess’ school. It will be much drier and easier to keep free of snow. Il-Seok already tented the site for her.”

“I could kiss you,” Young-Do said.

“Please don’t. I don’t want any misunderstandings. He already thinks I love you more than him.” Young-Do hugged him anyway. Nam-Il returned the embrace and Young-Do awkwardly wiped at his face before turning back to the bridge. “The princess?”

“The palace isn’t being gentle with her. She’s ready to take on the king.”

“I heard what happened last night.” Nam-Il paused as a woman brought them tea. She bowed to Young-Do despite the fact he wasn’t wearing anything to mark him as a prince. The tea cup was warm so he held it tightly. “You should’ve warned her. Just because she showed no fear of traitors doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a soft heart, my prince.”

“I know. I worry about her. This is the first time I’ve been...tested on everything my mothers have wanted me to be. Love is frightening. I just want to be with her and listen to her talk about all of her ideas.”

“It is the first time since your heart was broken by the king when he made you give up the young Lee Hyo-Shin that you’ve allowed yourself to be in love. Go spend time with her. No one here will let you down. I inspected all of the posts and incoming wood. There is no rot like before. Your star is rising. Your father cannot stop that.”

“Myung-Soo and I had a fight. We need to be here tonight.”

Nam-Il frowned but did not suggest leaving again. Young-Do made his way over to his brother and they spent the next few hours showing the people that they were close. By the time he crawled back into his bed, he almost felt like he and Myung-Soo had repaired the damage.