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you-guys--are-losers · 5 years ago

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Spideychelle Week: Day Six!

//Second to last day, fam! Thanks to @spideychelleweek for the week of incredible creativity and stepping out of our comfort zones, because I was initially nervous about writing this and now I am SO ready. You guys down for this crap? Because guess what: today is College AU day!

I wrote one of these before, but we’re gonna try another, and I’m going to use a prompt this time! I’m using a prompt from @veronicabunchwrites again, and this time it’s from their lovely list of college aus!

So, the prompt I’m using is this: “I post an ad looking for someone to be my model for my art project and the interviewing process has been a little awkward until you answer it.” I changed it a bit, just because I’m not comfortable writing someone fully nude, but that doesn’t mean we can’t do a little bit of spicy writing. ;)

Summary: MJ is having a hard time finding a model, so when Peter Parker volunteers to do it for her, MJ is extremely grateful. She’s known him since they went to high school together, so it shouldn’t be too hard, right?

But as soon as MJ sees those abs, she realizes that nothing about this is going to be easy for her.

Characters: Michelle Jones x Peter Parker

Word Count: 4,399

Warnings: Sexual tension, college-age stupidity, nervous quips, partial nudity

Sculpted

Screw this,” MJ mutters, shoving her phone away from her and leaning her head back on their couch with a groan.

One of her hands rises to her forehead, shoving her hair back from her face in a frustrated movement as she closes her eyes. “I’m dropping out of art school. I guess I’m gonna have to settle for the lame shit you losers are doing.”

“You mean computer programming?” Ned hums from the futon across their apartment, not looking up from his laptop. “Yeah, sounds reasonable. I mean, it’s kind of a fallback, major, but, y’know…”

“We both know that after some of the modifications I made to the Bugsuit, I would have no problem getting a scholarship,” MJ points out, still not opening her eyes. In any other setting, with any other group of people, she knows it would sound conceited. But her loser roommates know that she’s screwing with them, and more importantly, they know she’s right.

“What is it this time?” Peter pipes up, and MJ’s eyes open as he returns from the kitchen with the industrial-sized bag of gummy worms they’ve been working on for a week. “Shading? Digital perspectives? Visualizing a room layout?” He plops down on the other end of the couch, swiping the remote from between them and quickly switching the show from the later seasons of Parks and Rec to The Office. It’s been a running feud between roommates the past few weeks, but MJ is too irritated with her work to even acknowledge it tonight.

“No,” MJ responds morosely, leaning across the couch to steal a few of the sour, sugary gummies from the bag before she settles back in to explain. “It’s not even the art. It’s the prep, which is not the part I was expecting to have trouble with.”

“What are you working on?” Ned asks, eyes seizing upon Creed and Meredith as he asks the question. “Is it another of those digital ones? I like those.”

“No, this one’s an oil painting,” MJ answers, leaning her head on the armrest as she allows herself to sink into the show. “But it’s supposed to be a figure drawing partially in the nude, and-”

Ned’s eyes widen across the room, and a strangled cough of alarm escapes his throat as he whirls to look at her. MJ doesn’t have to look across the couch to know Peter is doing the same-- the sound of the gummy worm bag dropping to the floor more than confirms it for her.

“It’s just a waist-up of a male model, you testosterone-fuelled monkeys,” MJ remarks simply, taking advantage of the moment to steal the remote Peter has just set down. The two stop staring at her like she has just sprouted another set of arms as she switches the show to Parks and Rec again, and Ned lets out a slow whistle in relief. “Well, if I could find one, anyway.”

“What do you mean?” Peter says slowly.

MJ lets out a puff of air through her nose as she settles down again, allowing the beautiful sight of Amy Poehler in a lime-green pantsuit to relax her. Yes… That’s better. Leslie Knope is all that MJ will ever need to calm down.

“I can’t get anyone to pose for me,” she replies after a moment, letting her eyes close again as she explains. “I need someone with fairly defined chest muscles, since we’re supposed to be working on the shading of human muscle. You’d think it would be easy to find someone with all of the guys I see in the gym every morning, so I put up an ad on the bulletin board asking if anyone was interested.”

“Oh, yeah, I think I saw that,” Ned says slowly. “Betty pointed it out on the way back from pilates.”

“You’re doing pilates with Betty?” Peter asks incredulously. “Dude, I don’t even know what that is.”

“Pilates is what you do when you love someone,” Ned replies sagely, causing MJ to let out a soft groan.

“Gross,” she comments. “I’d think that you’d be fine without the gym, considering the amount of tonsil tennis you two play. You’re practically Serena and Venus.”

Peter draws in a sharp breath, and a sudden outburst of coughing fit ensues as Peter nearly inhales a gummy worm. Between the sounds of their best friend hacking up a lung, Ned’s eyes narrow, and he shoots her a look. “Continue with your story about how you’re trying to get a guy half-naked, then.”

“Gladly.”

After Peter is no longer in danger of asphyxiating, MJ lays out her dilemma. “The problem is that I can’t get anyone who’s serious about it. All of the messages I’ve been getting have been assholes who think I’m looking for a hookup. Please… Like this is some high schooler’s YA story.”

“I mean, it does sound kind of sexual,” Ned points out. “I think the words ‘nude model’ will do that for you, even if it’s just above the waist.”

Peter lets out a final sigh as he catches his breath, closing the bag of gummy worms. MJ tries to feel bad that she may have killed his gummy worm craving for the evening, but really, she’s just glad there’s more left for her. She’s expecting him to make some comment about how none of them checked to see if he would be okay, and she is already preparing her comeback (“Please, Parker. We know we don’t have to worry about your super-esophagus.”) when he says something that catches her completely off-guard.

“I mean… I could do it.”

MJ’s eyes fly open, and both MJ and Ned turn to him in shock. Peter’s eyes widen as he finds himself the object of both of their attention at once, and he raises his hands defensively. “What?” he stammers. “I’ve got muscles!”

“I know,” Ned says, speaking up before MJ has to, “but that’s just… Weird. I think MJ wants to draw, like, a statue-bod kinda guy.”

Peter’s cheeks heat up, and he looks slightly miffed now. “I can lift a bus, in case you forgot,” he points out, his tone slightly flustered. “And-and I held a ferry boat together.”

“For, like, two seconds,” Ned muses.

Before Peter can fire back, however, the unthinkable word drops from MJ’s lips:

“Okay.”

Both of them turn to her this time, and now she is the focus of shocked attention. Her cheeks heat up, and MJ turns to the TV, fixing her eyes on the screen and praying they take it for nonchalance.

“What did you just say?” Ned stammers.

“I said he can do it,” MJ replies, forcing any breathiness out of her voice. “This thing is due in two weeks, I need a model yesterday. And if I don’t have to deal with guys sliding into my DMs and getting my hopes up, that’s a bonus.”

For a minute, things are quiet. Then, finally, Peter says, “Okay. When do we start?”

MJ glances away from the TV and makes eye contact with Peter, trying not to notice his bright red ears and the slight catch in his voice. For a minute, she nearly forgets to answer his question. “You can show up to the studios on Friday at four, if that works. Um, unless it doesn’t. I could also do Saturday, or Sunday… Or, um, Monday, right. Because that’s what comes next-”

“No, uh, Friday works,” Peter interrupts, running a hand through his hair. They both look away at the same time, and for a second silence stretches out as they vehemently avoid looking at one another. MJ tries to focus on the beautiful goddess that is Leslie Knope, but after about thirty seconds she finally gets up.

“I’m gonna head to bed early,” she decides, not looking at either of them as she chucks the remote at Ned. It narrowly misses his head, and Ned fumbles with it for a moment before catching it. This gives MJ the time she needs to make a quick exit, and then her bedroom door shuts behind her, and she is alone.

In the dim light of her room, MJ quickly changes into a pair of sweats and a loose t-shirt, trying not to think about what just happened. Nothing happened, she reminds herself as she slides under the covers of her bed, shoving her head onto her pillow. I have a model. That’s it.

It’s not weird; it shouldn’t be. They’ve been friends since high school, and MJ has seen him in that stupid suit enough times to know that his muscles are developed. It’s not anything uncomfortable.

But still, the voice in her head whispers, you’ve never had to focus exclusively on the abs. And the pecs. And the obliques, and the- MJ shuts that train of thought down with a frustrated groan.

Whatever. Peter is attractive; she’s known that since high school. It’s not new, and it’s not weird to admit it. It would be weirder if she denied it. She’s not blind; I mean, she’d expect him to admit she’s attractive, too, because she knows she is. It’s just objective truth.

Why, then, does the idea of him admitting that fill her with tingly warmth?

No, nope. Bed. It’s bedtime. MJ repeats it over and over again in her head, Bed time, bed time, for the better part of ten minutes.

When she finally falls asleep, MJ dreams of brush strokes and blending and oil paint sliding across her skin, of painting on a canvas of freckles and stretch marks and dimples as fingers massage pigment into the contours of her body, making it permanent.

Friday comes with a vengeance, seeming to hurtle into existence a million times faster than any day has before.

It probably helps that, over the course of the week, MJ forces herself to think of anything but Friday. She focuses herself on schoolwork, social life, and her two best friends, who luckily make everything return to normal the morning after the decision has been made.

The project fades into Ned’s distant memory, and Peter doesn’t bring it up at all over the course of the week’s antics. In fact, with how little they even mention school, MJ wouldn’t have been surprised if Peter forgets to even show up.

But, sure enough, 2:00 finds MJ in her favorite studio in the building, and 2:03 brings Peter Parker into the room. He finds MJ there, with a canvas on an easel, setting up her paints and her pallet. Across from the canvas is an old sofa, something that she found in the back of the studio and figured would serve their purposes. The windows of the studio are open to let in natural light, and the sofa is positioned beneath a skylight in a way that will allow her to paint him with lighting from the angle she wants.

“Um, hi,” he greets her, offering her a grin. The smile relaxes MJ because it is familiar. It is dorky and earnest and slightly sheepish, and all of those things are so Peter that she knows this will be alright.

“‘Sup, loser,” she greets, nodding in his direction before returning to her pallet. She’s wearing old painting clothes, and her hair is pulled back into a messy sort of ponytail that will keep it out of her face while she works. She has a habit of getting herself a little bit streaked with paint when she’s not paying attention, and it’s a pain to get out of her hair.

Peter begins to walk around the room, studying the various tools and the setup. MJ has to keep herself from subtly observing him as he does it, even though she wants to take in the endearing wonder written on his face.

“This place is cool,” he comments, his voice relaxed and curious as he studies a posing chart hanging on the wall behind her. “Do you come here a lot?”

“For most of my projects, yeah,” MJ hums. “It’s my favorite studio, so I may or may not have started a rumor that someone died in here so it’s always available.”

Peter snorts in amusement behind her, and though MJ isn’t looking, she can’t keep away a grin now. “Why didn’t you ask the ghost to pose for you?” he asks.

“Well, it was an axe murder, so that might be a bit messy.”

Peter laughs for real this time, and then for a moment, they lapse into a comfortable silence. Peter watches as MJ begins mixing her highlight, and then he queries, “So… How do you wanna do this?”

MJ is careful to control her urge to stiffen. Right… This is why they’re both here. It’s no big deal.

“Um, right,” she breathes, glancing at him for a moment before returning to the pallet. “So you can, uh, take your shirt off.”

“You’re not gonna buy me dinner first?” Peter jokes. His cheeks are pink, however, and his voice is slightly constricted as he pulls his shirt off, and MJ hears the fabric drop to the floor. It takes all of the self-control in her body to refrain from looking.

“Nah, not unless you want the cold paella in my bag,” she hums. “I think it’s from, like, yesterday.”

“I’ll pass,” Peter comments, and MJ grins. For a second, she forgets about her situation and looks up.

Craaaaap.

To preface: MJ knew that Peter was kind of jacked. She has seen the muscles through the suit before, has seen them in action on Youtube videos, whatever. She is supposed to be prepared.

She is most certainly not. Nothing could prepare her for this.

Her eyes find it immediately: Peter Parker’s muscular chest, standing before her in all its glory. His jeans ride slightly low on his hips, meaning that the ‘v’ of his abdomen is what catches her eye first, more defined than it was on any of the example sketches. She hurriedly drags her eyes away from that, up higher, but that isn’t any better. If she looks there, she has to focus on the clearly defined abs that are staring her in the face, begging her to touch them to see if they’re as firm as they look. It doesn’t get any less defined as her eyes travel up his body, to defined pecs and muscular arms that cause her to swallow, quickly looking anywhere else.

Finally, her eyes find his face. Peter’s cheeks are pink, but his gaze is awfully intense as it meets her own, causing her heart to pound faster than it already was.

“I- Uh- Um, right,” MJ stammers, forcing her eyes to give him a quick once-over as if she was only examining them from an artistic standpoint. “Alright. Yep, that’ll do.” In her own ears, her voice sounds an octave too high as she begins to mix the colors on the pallet, not looking up. “You can, uh, sit on the couch, I’ll tell you how to position yourself-”

“MJ.”

Peter’s voice interrupts her, and MJ can barely breathe as she looks up. When she does, he’s grinning sheepishly. “Shouldn’t I get oiled up first?”

It’s a bad joke, but it causes MJ to laugh anyway. She’s grateful to think about something, anything other than the muscles that seem to be calling her name, the ones she’s somehow going to have to depict without being blinded by all of their splendor.

“Shut up, loser,” she instructs as she continues mixing. “If you keep talking, I’m gonna charge you a commission fee.”

“I’m the one doing this for you,” he points out playfully as he takes a seat on the sofa. “It’s not like I want to hang this in my room.”

“Why not? It’ll be a tasteful layout. We’ll do some pin-up poses.” MJ examines him, and for a moment, she thinks maybe she can do this. “Alright. I want you to turn a little to your right, but keep your legs straight. Then flex for me.” She’s got this.

Peter obeys her, and MJ’s blood rushes to her head.

Nope. Nope. She does not got this.

After he’s in place, MJ busies herself with getting music playing on her phone. She needs something, anything to occupy her mind as she does this. “Sunflower” by Post Malone starts playing, and almost immediately, MJ relaxes. She looks up, and this time, she manages to keep her cool as she studies the shade of his skin tone. Sure, she’s never gonna be able to unsee this, but for now, she can do it.

After she’s mixed the paint, they settle into a rhythm, and then MJ loses herself in the work. She is completely focused on the art: the colors, the blending, the highlights, how she wants to do the shadow. Each stroke is precise, intentional… Everything is exactly where she wants it, and every step is clear to her.

Sure, the muscles are rather lovely. But as long as she steels herself before looking up, she manages to keep herself from drooling over them for as long as it takes her to make a quick assessment and return to the work.

The muscles are a new variable, something she hasn’t had to battle with before. But the work? The work she knows, the work she understands. Its beat is one she has heard a million times, and it carries her along with ease.

An hour or so passes, with the silence stretching on comfortably. Every so often, Peter warns her that he has a muscle cramp, and MJ watches carefully so that she can guide him back to the position after he’s adjusted a bit. Peter is a good model. Sure, he has to move a bit more than most of the people they’ve painted in studies, but he also doesn’t complain. He just follows her direction, letting his eyes wander the room or sometimes close as he soaks in the sun.

And, every so often, MJ wonders if she can feel those eyes on her.

It’s about half an hour in when MJ looks up from her canvas, really looks, for the first time since she posed him. There are flecks of paint all over her fingers and upper arm from where she carefully used a nail to remove an excess of pain, or just from when she forgot about the pallet in her hand while adjusting the canvas and supplies as the light changed. Her hair is determined to escape from her ponytail, it seems, and it hovers on the edge of her vision in several curly tendrils that she ignores. She knows she makes faces while she’s concentrating, and between the paint on her clothes, hands, and a spot by her temple where she brushed away some hair, the stiffness of her body and neck, and the mess of her hair, MJ knows she looks disheveled.

That’s why, when she looks up and find him studying her like he’s been studying the beautiful prints of art on the walls, she stops still.

His eyes, when they meet hers, hold the warmth that makes them Peter’s, but they also hold something else. Whatever it is in insistent, piercing as it works its way to her through their shared gaze, and penetrating as it seems to search her from head to toe.

Whatever it is takes her breath away.

MJ draws in a sharp breath, and her sudden change of posture causes Peter to stiffen, too. His eyes go wide upon the realization that he has been caught staring. However, he doesn’t look away. After balking for a moment, his gaze actually becomes more intense, almost as though he is determined to prove himself.

MJ sets down her brush, and Peter’s eyes track her motion expectantly as she turns to look back at him again.

“Peter,” she finally says, her tone tight and controlled.

“Yeah?” Something earnest enters his eyes, then his voice, too, as he waits for her to respond.

“You moved.”

When he realizes what she means, his face falls for a fraction of a second before he becomes composed again. “O-oh, right. Um, let me just-” He attempts to take up his former position, and MJ busies herself comparing it with the likeness on canvas in order to ignore the warmth in her cheeks. After looking from his position, to the painting, and then back to him again, MJ shakes her had.

“Not quite,” she says slowly. “You need to twist more at the waist.”

Peter attempts to angle his body more to the side, but he still is twisting his upper body more than his lower body. MJ watches, then shakes her head again, biting her lip. “Nah, it’s more-- here.”

MJ sets her pallet on the floor and strides over to the sofa. She is painfully, painfully aware of the amount of Peter’s bare skin in front of her, bright in the golden sun, but she struggles to ignore it as she sits on the ground in front of him and raises her hand to hover in front of his abs.

“You need to twist more here,” she says, gesturing to the muscles.

He’s already moving, however, so rather than her gesture hovering in front of him, her loose hand crashes into his muscles. MJ’s eyes widen as her the palm of her hand presses against his lower abdomen, and her whole body stiffens for a moment before she can register that she should pull back. The muscles are warm beneath her fingertips, solid and firmer than she could have imagined.

“MJ-”

She pulls her hand back immediately, but a sinking feeling enters her chest as she realizes what happened. Her paint-covered fingertips have left smears of paint across his skin, the highlight that MJ was attempting to scrape off her knife with a nail before she looked up. The paint clings to him, and instinctively, MJ reaches out to brush it away.

All she succeeds in doing is rubbing it in further with fingertips that dance across his skin. MJ can barely breathe, and her head is spinning as she tries again, only making it worse. “Shit, Parker, I’m sorry,” she stammers, shaking her head. The loose curls go flying, and a few brush against his skin from where she is seated. “I forgot about it, let me get-”

“MJ.”

Slowly, MJ raises her eyes to his, her breath caught in her throat.

Peter is staring down at her, his lips slightly parted as his eyes scan her countenance. His cheeks are crimson, and he still looks like her loser as he blinks several times, taking a sharp breath as his eyes explore her face. There is awe in his eyes, and a hesitant gleam, as he looks down at her. She can’t look away, can’t breathe, can’t even move her paint-covered hand from where it lingers on his abs.

Peter opens his mouth to speak, then closes it. His hand finds her other hand, one with streaks of wet paint on the palm where she was testing colors. The paint transfers from her hand to his as he links their fingers together, and she exhales as their fingers lace into a lattice.

“You have paint all over you, now,” she breathes, blinking once, then twice.

Peter swallows, his eyes not moving. He looks as if he regrets even having to blink as he drinks in her eyes. “Then…” His voice falters, and so Peter swallows and tries again in a voice that is slightly raspy, catching in his throat.

“Then what’s the harm in a little bit more?”

Before she knows it, MJ is standing, and Peter’s hand in hers helps guide her to her feet. She does not let go of his hand. The fingers on his skin dance across his lower chest experimentally as she looks into his eyes, leaving little trails of pale pink in their wake. Her eyes don’t leave his, and his skin is warm underneath her fingers as her hand travels greedily up his chest, taking its sweet time. Peter’s eyes flutter shut and he leans into th contact, breath hitching whenever her touch grows heavier.

Finally, after she has explored his chest in detail, her arm snakes around his neck. Her hand plows a path through his hair, lightly tugging on the curls to bring him closer to her as she leans down slightly. Her lips crash into his, then, and their linked hands rise as Peter tugs his free to cup her face. Paint kisses her cheekbone as Peter caresses it with a thumb, and her other hand is happy to join the first in flecking his brown locks with pink and white. His other hand impatiently pulls her hair free of the ponytail, causing her to hum against his lips, tipping her head so that their lips fit together more closely.

For one slow, delicious moment, MJ drinks him in, and he does the same for her. The kiss is insistent and intense, and more than anything, it’s an exploration. Her lips learn the dance of his own soft ones, and his hand traces the contours of her face, blazing its own line of highlight across her cheek and down her jaw.

Finally, when they both need to come up for air, MJ breaks the kiss apart. Her breath comes in greedy gasps, drinking in the air of the studio as the golden light sinks into their skin, turning the shadows longer. The paint is cool and prickly on her skin as it begins to draw, and a smile crosses MJ’s swollen lips as she drinks in the strange sensation, eyes closed.

“Told you you should’ve oiled me up.”

Peter’s cheeky comment causes a laugh to leave MJ’s lips, closely followed by an insistent hum and she dives in for more.

Maybe she has a project she should be working on… But, then, MJ has found a new canvas, and one that she much prefers. After all, Peter Parker really is a masterpiece… And MJ looks forward to studying every shadow, every contour, and every new perspective of her best friend in detail with her artist’s eye.

After all, painting may be rewarding, but in the warmth of the studio, MJ decides that when it comes to Peter Parker, she prefers being the canvas to being the artist.

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whitestaar · 6 years ago

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“The only way we will survive is by being kind. The only way we can get by in this world is through the help we receive from others. No one can do it alone, no matter how great the machines are.”

Happy 47th birthday, Amy Meredith Poehler!!! An actress, writer, director, producer, and founder.

#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!#where is she i hope she's having a blast #so so proud of this girlll #amy poehler #golden globes #scarlett johansson #tina fey #thepoehlerbear #b.edits

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glucophage5mg · 3 years ago

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Amy Poehler Net Worth 2021: Age, Height, Weight, Husband, Kids, Bio-Wiki

Amy Poehler Celebrated Name: Amy Poehler Real Name/Full Name: Amy Meredith Poehler Gender: Female Age: 50 years old Birth Date: 16 September 1971 Birth Place: Newton, Massachusetts, United States Nationality: American Height: 1.57 m Weight: 63 kg Sexual Orientation: Straight Marital Status: Divorced Husband/Spouse (Name): Will Arnett (m. 2003–2016) Children: Yes (Archie Arnett, Abel…

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tearsinthemist · 3 years ago

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Amy Meredith Poehler is an American actress, comedian, writer, producer, and director. After studying improv at Chicago's Second City and ImprovOlympic in the early 1990s, she co-founded the improvisational-comedy troupe Upright Citizens Brigade. Wikipedia

“The earlier you learn that you should focus on what you have, and not obsess about what you don’t have, the happier you will be.”

— Amy Poehler

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autisticspencergilpin · 7 years ago

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So Far in 2017 I’ve Seen...

Every movie I’ve seen in 2017 so far ranked by how much I liked them:

1. The Big Sick

2. The LEGO Batman Movie

3. Get Out

4. Captain Underpants

5. Wonder Woman

6. Baby Driver

7. The Belko Experiment

8. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

9. The Fate of the Furious

10. Monster Trucks

11. Rough Night

12. You Get Me

13. The House

14. Baywatch

More movie lists under the read more.

Best Characters

1. Kumail Nanjiani (The Big Sick)

2. Emily Gardner (The Big Sick)

3. Terry Gardner (The Big Sick)

4. Beth Gardner (The Big Sick)

5. Harold Hutchins (Captain Underpants)

6. Tripp (Monster Trucks)

7. Rocket (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

8. Mike Milch (The Belko Experiment)

9. Diana (Wonder Woman)

10. Luke Hobbs (The Fate of the Furious)

11. Alice (Rough Night)

12. Azmat Nanjiani (The Big Sick)

13. Leandra Florez (The Belko Experiment)

14. Chris (The Big Sick)

15. Rod Williams (Get Out)

16. Chris Washington (Get Out)

17. Sharmeen Nanjiani (The Big Sick)

18. Robin (The LEGO Batman Movie)

19. George (Captain Underpants)

20. Drax (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

Best Ships

1. Kumail/Emily (The Big Sick)

2. Beth/Terry (The Big Sick)

3. Tripp/Meredith (Monster Trucks)

4. Harold/George (Captain Underpants)

5. Diana/Steve (Wonder Woman)

6. Azmat/Sharmeen (The Big Sick)

7. Ronnie/CJ (Baywatch)

8. Luke/Deckard (The Fate of the Furious)

9. Tej/Roman (The Fate of the Furious)

10. CJ/Bob (The Big Sick)

11. Scott/Kate/Frank (The House)

12. Buddy/Darling (Baby Driver)

13. Blair/Frankie (Rough Night)

14. Tej/Ramsey (The Fate of the Furious)

15. Mary/CJ (The Big Sick)

16. Pippa/Alice (Rough Night)

17. Dom/Hobbs (The Fate of the Furious)

18. Mitch/Stephanie (Baywatch)

19. Mitch/Mitch (Baywatch)

20. Chris/Rod (Get Out)

Sexiest Male Characters

1. Kumail Nanjiani (The Big Sick)

2. Tej Parker (The Fate of the Furious)

3. Deckard Shaw (The Fate of the Furious)

4. Luke Hobbs (The Fate of the Furious)

5. Mike Milch (The Belko Experiment)

6. Roman Pearce (The Fate of the Furious)

7. Rod Williams (Get Out)

8. Steve Trevor (Wonder Woman)

9. Evan (The Belko Experiment)

10. Peter (Rough Night)

11. Keith Mclure (The Belko Experiment)

12. Mr. Nobody (The Fate of the Furious)

13. Frank (The House)

14. Ronnie Greenbaum (Baywatch)

15. Chris Washington (Get Out)

16. Marty Espenscheid (The Belko Experiment)

17. CJ (The Big Sick)

18. Dominic Toretto (The Fate of the Furious)

19. Buddy (Baby Driver)

20. Peter Quill (Guardianas of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

Sexiest Female Characters

1. Emily Gardner (The Big Sick)

2. Beth Gardner (The Big Sick)

3. Diana (Wonder Woman)

4. Darling (Baby Driver)

5. Kate Johansen (The House)

6. Ramsey (The Fate of the Furious)

7. Mary (The Big Sick)

8. Nebula (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

9. Blair (Rough Night)

10. Victoria Leeds (Baywatch)

11. Leandra Florez (The Belko Experiment)

12. CJ Parker (Baywatch)

13. Dany Wilkins (The Belko Experiment)

14. Gamora (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

15. Antiope (Wonder Woman)

16. Cindy (Monster Trucks)

17. Summer Quinn (Baywatch)

18. Latoya (Get Out)

19. Stephanie Holden (Baywatch)

20. Khadija (The Big Sick)

Best Lead Actor

1. Kumail Nanjiani (The Big Sick)

2. John Gallagher Jr. (The Belko Experiment)

3. Daniel Kaluuya (Get Out)

4. Thomas Middelditch (Captain Underpants)

5. Kevin Hart (Captain Underpants)

6. Chris Pine (Wonder Woman)

7. Chris Pratt (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

8. Will Arnett (The LEGO Batman Movie)

9. Ansel Elgort (Baby Driver)

10. Dwayne Johnson (The Fate of the Furious)

Best Lead Actress

1. Zoe Kazan (The Big Sick)

2. Adria Arjona (The Belko Experiment)

3. Allison Williams (Get Out)

4. Jane Levy (Monster Trucks)

5. Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman)

6. Zoe Saldana (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

7. Lily James (Baby Driver)

8. Amy Poehler (The House)

9. Bella Thorne (You Get Me)

10. Scarlett Johansson (Rough Night)

Best Supporting Actor

1. Ray Romano (The Big Sick)

2. LilRel Howery (Get Out)

3. Nick Kroll (Captain Underpants)

4. James Earl (The Belko Experiment)

5. Michael Cera (The LEGO Batman Movie)

6. Michael Rooker (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

7. Jason Statham (The Fate of the Furious)

8. Jason Mantzoukas (The House)

9. Stephen Root (Get Out)

10. Tyrese Gibson (The Fate of the Furious)

11. Paul W. Downs (Rough Night)

12. Josh Brener (The Belko Experiment)

13. Bradley Whitford (Get Out)

14. Jon Bass (Baywatch)

15. Lakeith Stanfield (Get Out)

16. David Bautista (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

17. Ludacris (The Fate of the Furious)

18. Vin Diesel (The Fate of the Furious)

19. Anupam Kher (The Big Sick)

20. Kurt Russell (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

Best Supporting Actress

1. Holly Hunter (The Big Sick)

2. Karen Gillan (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

3. Betty Gabriel (Get Out)

4. Jillian Bell (Rough Night)

5. Zenobia Shroff (The Big Sick)

6. Eiza Gonzalez (Baby Driver)

7. Rosario Dawson (The LEGO Batman Movie)

8. Lucy Davis (Wonder Woman)

9. Priyanka Chopra (Baywatch)

10. Pom Klementieff (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

11. Allison Tolman (The House)

12. Kelly Rohrbach (Baywatch)

13. Jenny Slate (The LEGO Batman Movie)

14. Aidy Bryant (The Big Sick)

15. Vella Lovell (The Big Sick)

16. Halston Sage (You Get Me)

17. Catherine Keener (Get Out)

18. Nathalie Emmanuel (The Fate of the Furious)

19. Melonie Diaz (The Belko Experiment)

20. Gail Bean (The Belko Experiment)

#2017

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instapicsil2 · 6 years ago

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February 1, 2019 • New York, New York • I recently had the pleasure of photographing Natasha Lyonne, the star of Netflix's new series Russian Doll that premiere's today. Co-creators Lyonne, Amy Poehler and Leslye Headland we’re all interviewed for the Los Angeles Times for a story by Meredith Blake that is online now. I’m excited to see the series after hearing the interview in person. http://bit.ly/2TqJXM7

#Insta New 2 #Insta All #All Extra

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tabloidtoc · 5 years ago

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Globe, April 20

Cover: Kenny Rogers’ body is still on ice -- why his widow won’t bury him

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Sloppy Tyra Banks, Gary Busey grocery shopping in Beverly Hills, Brian Austin Green grabs meals to go

Page 3: Lisa Marie Presley is living large, puffy-faced Goldie Hawn hikes to her California home, Chris Pratt spring cleaning

Page 4: Bindi Irwin has another surprise in store after pulling off her secret Australia Zoo wedding to Chandler Powell -- she’s pregnant

Page 5: A bank has asked the LA Sheriff’s Office to force Tori Spelling to pay a $89,000 credit card debt and her money-bags mom Candy Spelling has once again refused to help, Patrick Stewart secretly married his third wife singer-songwriter Sunny Ozell in a Mexican restaurant in California with Ian McKellen officiating

Page 6: Catherine Zeta-Jones admits she’s a bitch and being polite to fans pushes her over the edge

Page 7: Spoiler Alert for Grey’s Anatomy -- Ellen Pompeo who has starred as Dr. Meredith Grey for 15 seasons will be killed off next season in a blockbuster story line

Page 8: Now that he’s moving to California rogue royal Prince Harry plans to turn his years as a stoner into a king’s ransom by launching a huge marijuana business empire -- Harry and wife Meghan Markle are slapping down $9 million for a 286- acre pot farm near Clear Lake in north central California to fuel their flashy new Hollywood lifestyle

Page 10: Jon Voight tells his daughter Angelina Jolie to back off of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston

Page 11: Law & Order vet Elisabeth Rohm has called off her year-long engagement to California judge Jonathan Colby on good terms but the two have different priorities at this time, the handwritten lyrics to Hey Jude by Paul McCartney are set to sell for nearly $200,000 at a massive online Beatles auction

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Conan O’Brien rides a bike through Brentwood, Ellen DeGeneres has been recently blasted as one of the meanest people alive, Amy Poehler is co-founder of the Upright Citizens Brigade in Hollywood and NYC and the comedy clubs and improv schools laid off most staff without notice or severance or health coverage and only after embarrassing press and online comments trashed the millionaire she finally will provide funds for a one-month extension to healthcare for the full-time benefit eligible staff, Little Big Town singer Kimberly Schlapman says she’s 100% sure her 12-year-old daughter Daisy was a heaven-sent miracle thanks to her deceased first husband Steven Roads, Woody Allen outcreeps himself by spilling in his memoir the details of bedding both sisters of his former muse and live-in girlfriend Diane Keaton, Ramona Singer of RHONYC did away with the housecleaners due to coronavirus and posted a picture of herself mopping in a sexy nightie

Page 13: Frumpy Kate Hudson, Sean Penn’s silver roots start to show, Maud Adams walks her dog, Kristen Stewart relies on the company of ghosts

Page 14: Seth Rogen has a new pastime: watching flick flops like Cats while flying high, Demi Lovato’s got something to sing about -- a brand new ripped boyfriend named Max Ehrich who loves showing off his astonishing pecs, Fashion Verdict -- Emily Blunt 5/10, Noomi Rapace 3/10, Christina Aguilera 2/10, Cardi B 4/10

Page 16: Rihanna vows to have up to four children in ten years with or without a man, Superman never carried an ounce of flab but his alter ego Dean Cain has piled on an unhealthy 50 pounds and is gobbling supersize portions of pizza and fast food to find comfort because of his nose-diving career

Page 17: Inked-up train wreck Aaron Carter declared himself single in a nude photo after his girlfriend Melanie Martin whose name was just tattooed on his face was collared for felony domestic violence

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About Scarlett Johansson, Luann de Lesseps confesses she’s still tippling even after her shameful drunken bust, stuck in lockdown Courteney Cox is binge-watching her sitcom Friends and was shocked to realize she can’t remember most of the series that made her rich and famous

Page 20: True Crime

Page 23: Former boxing champ Mike Tyson is dropping shocking confessions including having sex with fans, drug binges, psychedelic trips and being pen pals with England’s most vicious gangster

Page 24: Cover Story -- a furious family feud is exploding over late country great Kenny Rogers whose body is being kept on ice because his widow Wanda Rogers wants to hold a massive send-off that’s now banned by the coronavirus lockdown

Page 26: Health Report

Page 29: Eminem gushes that being able to raise kids is one of his greatest accomplishments, former steroids user and New York Mets catcher Paul Lo Duca is raging over how fellow cheater Alex Rodriguez has revived his image as an A-list celeb and is slamming the retired New York Yankees slugger as one of the fakest people out there, Alicia Keys felt manipulated and objectified by a sleazy photographer who made her open her shirt and yank down the top of her jeans when she was only 19

Page 30: Former teen sex slave Virginia Roberts Giuffre who claims she was pimped out to Britain’s Prince Andrew by pedophile Jeffrey Epstein is now charging the kinky billionaire and his mistress Ghislaine Maxwell pressured her to carry his child through surrogacy

Page 31: Steve Carell shockingly quit his hit show The Office at the peak of its popularity because he wasn’t feeling the love from showrunners

Page 32: Single mom-of-three Kourtney Kardashian is so lonely and desperate for love she’s stopped being set up by Hollywood pals and is casting her fishing net for a man online, a London collector of James Bond guns was robbed of five pistols used in 007 flicks worth a staggering $125,000, a sweaty towel that late NBA star Kobe Bryant tossed over his shoulders as he bid goodbye to basketball has shockingly sold for more than $33,000

Page 38: Real Life

Page 40: Daniel Craig is worth about $180 million thanks to playing James Bond but he’s got bad news for his kids -- he’s cutting them off without a cent because he finds inheritance distasteful -- he has a 28-year-old daughter from his first marriage to Fiona Loudon and a two-year-old daughter with current wife Rachel Weisz, busted in the college admissions cheating scandal Lori Loughlin and husband Mossimo Giannulli are accusing the prosecution of strong-arming its key witness to lie that they knew their payments were bribes and not donations to the university

Page 44: Straight Talk -- newly leaked video is yet more proof that desperate loser Kanye West is a filthy parasite who’s been trying to save his fizzling career by leeching onto superstar songbird Taylor Swift

Page 45: George Clooney is in hot water now that Nespresso the coffee giant he shills for on TV has admitted buying beans from farms that pay kids pennies for laboring in the fields, dumpy Drew Barrymore is hitting rock bottom again with her weight and is tired of blubbering in her closet over clothes that don’t fit and has vowed to give the extra weight the heave-ho before her new daytime talk show gets going

Page 47: Hollywood Flashback -- Psycho, Bizarre But True

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roleplaytipsandadvice · 7 years ago

Note

Hi, could I request a family template for Alex Hayes? Thank you so much.

Brother

Avery Vernon - Transgender

Jamie Campbell Bower

Marshall Williams

Chord Overstreet

Aidan Alexander

Benjamin Jarvis

Michael Clifford

Jakub Gierszał

Cody Simpson

Felix Kjellberg

Jack Gleeson

Drew Dirksen

Ulrik Munther

Alex Pettyfer

Reece Bibby

Toby Regbo

Paul Boche

Alex Saxon

Lucas Till

Sister

Chloë Grace Moretz

Meredith Mickelson

Summer Ferguson

Sabrina Carpenter

Mia Wasikowska

Bailey de Young

Dakota Fanning

Lily-Rose Depp

Dove Cameron

Sophie Nélisse

Gage Golightly

Millie Thrasher

Witney Carson

Suede Brooks

Lauren Taylor

Isabel Durant

Paige Hyland

Carly Chaikin

Juno Temple

Allie Gonino

That Poppy

Bea Miller

Mother

Kristin Bauer van Straten

Marguerite MacIntyre

Susanna Thompson

Natascha McElhone

Kirsten Vangsness

Darby Stanchfield

Jennifer Coolidge

Ellen DeGeneres

Gwyneth Paltrow

Romy Rosemont

Melissa McBride

Michelle Pfeiffer

Uma Thurman

Angelina Jolie

Alex Kingston

Emily Procter

Robin Wright

Miranda Otto

Julie Walters

Amy Poehler

Kristen Wiig

Jane Lynch

Father

Benedict Cumberbatch

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

Viggo Mortensen

David Duchovny

Greg Germann

Alan Cumming

Ralph Fiennes

Aaron Eckhart

Robert Carlyle

Jon Bon Jovi

Paul Bettany

Scott Bakula

Daniel Craig

Simon Pegg

Mark Hamill

Jeff Bridges

#rph #rpcha #fc help #rp help #roleplay help #Alex Hayes #family template #Anonymous

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thefeministherald · 8 years ago

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Female Youtube Creators For All Your Interests and Tastes Part 2

youtube

Mortician in Los Angeles. You got death questions, we got death answers. Mortality + Culture. www.orderofthegooddeath.com www.facebook.com/OrderoftheGoodDeath twitter.com/TheGoodDeath

youtube

Ohai I'm Laci Green! I teach sex ed. New episodes of Sex Plus are posted every other week. My bio here: http://www.lacigreen.tv/about Book me at your school here: http://www.lacigreen.tv/programs Contact me here: http://www.lacigreen.tv/contact Represented by WME and Gotham Artists.

youtube

Traveling the world on $30 a day as a solo female traveler ($12,000 for 12 months) New videos every Thursday. LINDSAYMC.COM for more fun and behind the scenes.

youtube

Founded by artist Amy Poehler and producer Meredith Walker, Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls organization is dedicated to helping young people cultivate their authentic selves. We emphasize intelligence and imagination over “fitting in.” We celebrate curiosity over gossip. We are a place where people can truly be their weird and wonderful selves. We are funny first, and informative second, hosting the party you want to attend.

youtube

Hi, if you're new. I make 3 videos a week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday. You might like them, you might hate them, but you can't unsee them. Unless you have amnesia.

#youtube #women on youtube #creators #grace helbig #ask a mortician #smart girls at the party #travelling #laci green

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doctorbluesmanreturns · 5 years ago

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American Doctor Who, 1963-2018

Boris Karloff, Burgess Meredith, Danny Kaye, Christopher Lloyd, Mark Hamill, Kelsey Grammer, Danny DeVito, Johnny Depp, Robin Williams, Robert Downey Jr, John Mulaney, Leonard Nimoy, Harrison Ford, and Amy Poehler

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missamycommap-blog · 8 years ago

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Get to know me || Task #1

[BASICS]

Full name: Amy Meredith Poehler

Preferred name or nickname: Amy, Ames, Miss P, Poehler

Age: 45 years old

Date of birth: September 16th

Occupation: Guidance counsellor at Stonecastle high

Relationship status: Divorced

Sexuality: Straight

Preferred Pronouns: she/her

Spoken Languages: English

Family: Mom Eileen, dad William, younger brother Greg

[PERSONALITY]

What sets you apart from others?: She has pretty much only two setting: she can either be a sage giving thoughtful and useful advice to people, or a total clown who jokes around and should not be taken seriously.

Three Positive Attributes about yourself?: She is very passionate about people and helping them getting to their full potential, she’s very funny and smart and aways have something to retort, and she’s very honest and open with people which makes her a great listener and giver of advice.

Three Negative Attributes about yourself?: She has a short temper and does not even try to control it, she tends to bite sometimes more than she can chew and is not one to ask for help easily, and she get very defensive and protective of the people she like and love.

How would your friends describe you?: Her friends would say she’s great fun but mostly she’s great at being their conscience and helping them get the best out of life.

Biggest fear?: Anything happening to her kid.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens… what are a few of your favorite things?: Waffles, feminism, sitting down to watch a good comedy special, trying new hairstyle on her daughter and sushis.

What’s your relationship to drugs and alcohol?: Before having a child, she used to drink pretty regularly, like a glass of wine with dinner, and occasional joint, but she pretty much stopped it all at once now.

What is your characters ringtone?: Everything is Awesome, her daughter’s choice

Post a photo of your character’s phone background here:

[LIFE IN STONECASTLE]

Living Situation [House/Loft/Apartment/Dorm/Etc]?: She lives in a small house

Do you have any roommates?: No

Do you have any pets?: No

Highest level of education?: She has a Major in Psychology with a minor in feminist studies

Do you have any kids?: Yes, she has a 5 year-old daughter named Winnie (full name Winnifred)

Where does your character hang out in their free time?: She doesn’t have much, and if she does it’s usually still at places that can be enjoyed with her child.

[HISTORY]

Were you born in Stonecastle?: No.

If not, please tell us where you were born and when/why you moved to Stonecastle?: SHe moved here after getting married as it is where her husband was from.

What is your proudest moment?: Not exactly the cliché moment expected, but the time she threw her ex-husband out of the room at her daughter’s birth, when she made it very clear he would have nothing to do with this child, was one of her proudest moment.

What is your biggest regret?: And ironically enough, the moment mentioned above is also one of her bigger regrets because she constantly worries about whether or not it was the right choice for Winnie, whether she took it too far and if her daughter will grow up resenting her for it.

What led you to your current job(s)?: It was just one of those things where she really fell into it. She has a natural talent to help and advise people and figured it would be a great career choice.

Please describe any important relationships to your character and how they have shaped their life [people in their past/ex’s/parents/friendships/etc. This is a good place to put head cannons/plot lines with other characters]: There isn’t much place in her life right now for relationships, not since her ex-husband left her for his second family and she found herself pregnant. Most of her friends are colleagues. She is on good terms with Emily Bett Rickards, her daughter’s teacher, as well as Brie Larson, the geography teacher. Her closest friend would be Adam Scott, they both bonded over their similar sense of humor and lack of patience with people’s bullshit. They can be seen frequently hanging out and being horrible to each other, which is their way of showing friendship and affection.

If you could go back and change one thing in your life, what would it be?: She wouldn’t blow off so abruptly that guy at the bookstore, because he was nice and just caught her on a bad day.

#hwoodalttask1

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devotedlylegendaryqueen · 7 years ago

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((QUEEN CROWN))

Miley Cyrus

Andrea Russett

Lili Reinhart

Hailee Steinfeld

Ariana Grande

Selena Gomez

Demi Lovato

Zendaya

Katherine Langford

Hilary Duff

Spohia Bush

Gabi Demartino

Meredith Mickelson

Amanda Steele

Becky G

Bethany Mota

Camila Cabello

Gigi Hadid

Lilly Singh

Hunter King

Jade Thirlwall

Vanessa Merrell

Olivia Holt

Rita Ora

Sammi Hanratty

Vanessa Hudgens

Victoria Justice

Amy Poehler

Iliza Shlesinger

#queen #queens

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autisticspencergilpin · 7 years ago

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So Far in 2017 I’ve Seen...

Every movie I saw in 2017 ranked by how much I liked them.

1. Brigsby Bear

2. Spider-Man: Homecoming

3. The Big Sick

4. The LEGO Batman Movie

5. Get Out

6. Wonder Woman

7. The Belko Experiment

8. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

9. Captain Underpants

10. Landline

11. Kong: Skull Island

12. Logan

13. The Fate of the Furious

14. Girls Trip

15. Baby Driver

16. Monster Trucks

17. A Ghost Story

18. Baywatch

19. Rough Night

20. The House

21. You Get Me

22. Kiss and Cry