#amplifier health check

[srijothi]

Amplifier Health Check: Essential Servicing Techniques You Need to Know

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[rockingbytheseaside]

✦ The Strong and The Feeble

(Il Capitano with sick reader / tw: general description of illness, coughing, or physical pain. sfw)

Imagine Il Capitano with a sick darling, one whose health is often at risk. Your condition has been chronic for as long as you remember since your well-being is susceptible to common ailments and pain. And yet, it never hindered Il Capitano’s admiration towards you. Instead, it only amplified his urge to shield and protect you.

Imagine the mighty Harbinger returning from a prolonged expedition, his strides cutting through the secluded snowy terrain to reach a quaint manor on the outskirts of Snezhnaya. The mere sensation of the crisp taiga air beckons him to yearn for the upcoming warmth of your arms. Capitano barely has a moment to enter the manor and hand in his coat to the servants when a familiar voice calls out – “Is that him? Is he home already? Capi…!”

Imagine Il Capitano opening his arms and rushing to scoop you, both in worry and longing to feel your body against him. It appears that today is one of your brighter days, as you allow your weary body to move forward and welcome him directly instead of remaining in bed, even when a retinue of worried maids are trailing behind you. But expending your energy is no longer a worry, as Capitano effortlessly lifts you in a tender embrace with his armored hands.

“My beloved, I missed you dearly… But you shouldn’t overexert yourself just to welcome me. Save your energy for me, sweetheart.”

But you never allow your mood to change along with your ailments. Bedridden or not, you always greet your Knight despite your conditions. He doesn’t deserve to feel any more worry from your demeanor than he already does when he is away at work. Unbeknownst to you, Capitano sees right through you and the lengths you go to conceal your coughs, troubled breaths, or fatigue.

Any day that Capitano makes it back home is a celebration. He misses you terribly, and his Fatui expeditions became a driving force to work hard for you. He’ll return home with rare herbs, expensive medicine, or anything that your condition might require. Even when he is on a mission abroad, his mind keeps conjuring ideas on what unique gifts and books he must search for.

Imagine how Capitano’s prolonged mission heightened his worry for you. Thus, once he's settled at home, no longer donning his armor, Capitano will personally step in to take care of you. His hand is always protectively sweeping over your forehead and hair, ensuring your temperature is in check. He'll often dismiss the servants so he can bring you hot beverages to ease your sore throat. Only after confirming you've taken your medication and are resting on fresh sheets will the typically composed Harbinger release a sigh and join you in bed.

“Dear, you just got home. You mustn't trouble yourself so. You know I can take care of myself if needed to… I'm not that helpless, Capi.”

Il Capitano would apologize, tighten his arm around your shoulder, and softly nuzzle his face to a tender kiss on your cheek. However, internally, he is sighing wistfully, because he knows that on sunny days there are looming shadows as well. Sometimes, your illness takes a toll on you, your voice becoming hoarse and your coughing more frequent. Moving or even lifting your head would cause a headache, but the Harbinger never backs away in such circumstances.

You can barely speak on those days. But even as you lay in bed Capitano can tell you feel guilty and try to dismiss his aid. You even try to conjure up a weak smile. A smile that brings the Harbinger to his knees, kneeling beside your bed and silently cursing whatever celestial fate allowed you to suffer so.

"Shhh... sweetheart. I know you despise it, but you must comply to drink this medicine. I will not let ailments win over you."

Imagine how Capitano would never trade any paradise for seeing you smile on the rare days that you feel better. You try to move around, dismissing any help from the servants. Capitano would step in, link a protective arm around yours, and take you on a stroll in the manor's garden. The imposing Captain would make sure his steps are slow and careful so you won't feel rushed. However, the opposite always occurs. Keen to use the most of your condition today, you keep rushing off ahead of him.

Imagine Il Capitano rushing after you gently, catching you before you accidentally trip or fall from your childlike sprints. With a single arm around your torso, he easily picks you up from behind. His tender warnings go unheard as you giggle joyously. A rare and merry sound for him.

If the Snezhnayan weather allows it, he brings a designated blanket to drape over your legs, ensuring your comfort as the two of you spend the entire morning outdoors. He’d hold you close, sharing tales of his battles and missions. But what’s the point of talking about work when you can’t even accompany him and all he does is fight for the sake of returning home – to you.

Who has the right to define what constitutes strength and weakness? Perhaps for some, physical prowess and overcoming adversity may epitomize the ultimate warrior, while the opposite rings true for the meek. Nonetheless, a certain Harbinger will argue against it. For even he weakens at the sight of your unwavering smile, whenever you are at your worst condition. Or when you muster the deepest courage to get up on your own instead of seeking help. Who is he to boast as the strongest person in Teyvata, when every day you fight to survive?

Hence, imagine the 1st of the Fatui Harbinger lowering his head in reverence for you. Despite your bewilderment in his manners, he seeks your embrace so he can hear that heartbeat safe and beating, praising each day he gets to hold you in his arms. -

[attackurheart88]

Imagine Illumi with a pregnant s/o

- Unless you’re consistent with your birth control expect to get pregnant early in the relationship.

- Illumi’s a family man. He wants to have as many kids as possible to continue the Zoldyck line. He believes it is his duty as the oldest.

- Illumi is very observant so he’ll know you’re pregnant before you do. As soon as you mention feeling sick he’ll be watching you like a hound dog.

- As a possessive man his protectiveness will be off the charts. He must be by your side 24/7. No one is allowed to get too close without his express permission. He even feels wary around his own family.

- He checks all meals you eat for harm.

- Has one arm around you at all times

- Is quick to kill anyone for the slightest aggravation. A small bump on the shoulder can lead to deadly consequences. He takes the health of you and his child very seriously.

- Hisoka being around you is not even an option.

- Although his clinginess can be frustrating, Illumi makes up for it by being attentive.

- Being weak for tears and taking demands from you is not something he usually allows but when you’re pregnant it’s a different matter entirely.

- You want a hug consider it done.

- Throwing up? He’ll hold your hair and rub your back.

- Craving junk food? He’ll get it on the condition more healthy options will be eaten tomorrow.

- With a single plead you’ll have this man on his knees rubbing your sore feet and licking at your cunt.

- Illumi becomes instatiable when it comes to your body. Just the thought of his child growing inside your womb has him smiling and stuffing you with his cock when he can.

- Your pregnancy months is where you truly begin to see Illumi’s love for you grow.

- After having his children his respect for you amplifies and he slowly becomes more lenient after each child.

[collaredsoldat]

Silver and Garnet.

summary: Soldat hurts himself a lot.

warnings: Post!HYDRA Winter Soldier | Post!HTP and abuse | PTSD symptoms & behavior | Self harm | Mentions of non-consensual medical procedures | Body mutilation | Post!Body torture

a/n: I had another wip but I have no clue where I'm going with it so I started this one. Since someone commented the other day, I had to write another scenario specifically for this. I wrote something kinda touching this subject on my other blog but this one is exploring it better. Heed warnings, potentially triggering. Unedited. ;; wc: 4.3k

So many things to tackle with him.

You had done the hardest so far. That was good.

He was still wary around you. He avoided you.

He stayed locked in the bedroom you spared, hiding like a frightened animal. You hadn't seen him in a few days, the only evidence of his presence were the slightly eaten down bowls of broth and mashed potatoes you left for him. The untouched portions of these meals showed you just how fragile he still was, barely sustaining himself on the meager amounts he managed to consume.

His self-imposed isolation spoke volumes about the depth of his trauma, leaving you to wonder about the extent of his emotional wounds and the long road to recovery that lay ahead. You had never been a caregiver before, hell taking care of yourself proved to be hard sometimes. But now you had a responsibility for someone else, someone who really needs it.

Luckily, he had taken the opportunity to at least go to the bathroom without any sense of apprehension or unease. You often heard the shower running and he spent close to an hour in the shower at a time. You never went in to question him or why it took him so long to shower. Sometimes he'd let you wash him off, he did when he first arrived.

But for now, he liked having privacy, and you didn't blame him for wanting it.

You had been sitting on the couch and his shower had exceeded well over an hour, which was odd. Normally he only clocked close to an hour, just below sixty minutes. But he had been in the bathroom for much longer, and the shower had been running the entire time. You could spot steam peeking out from the cracks in the closed door, rising to the ceiling and fogging your apartment lightly.

Today, the shower had been running for an unusually long time, prompting you to check on him. Given his delicate health condition, you couldn't afford to be anything but vigilant. With a slight sense of concern, you gently pushed aside the warm, fuzzy blanket that had been draped over your legs. Rising from the comfortable embrace of the couch, you stretched your limbs briefly before padding across the room towards the bathroom door. The sound of running water grew louder as you approached, but there were no other noises coming from inside.

Reaching the door, you hesitated for a moment before raising your hand. You gently rapped your knuckles against the smooth surface of the door, being careful not to make too loud a sound. The last thing you wanted was to startle him in his potentially vulnerable state. "Soldat?" you called out softly, your voice barely audible over the steady stream of water, "Are you okay in there? It's perfectly fine if you're still showering, I just wanted to make sure you're doing alright. Is everything okay?"

Silence greeted you, save for the continuous patter of water against tile. The lack of response sent a small shiver of worry down your spine.

"Soldat?" you tried again, your voice a touch louder this time, tinged with growing concern. "Can I come in? Just to check on you?" You pressed your ear against the door, straining to hear any sound of movement or acknowledgment. Several long seconds ticked by, each one amplifying your unease. Still, there was no reply, not even the slightest indication that he had heard you. The silence stretched on, broken only by the relentless sound of running water, leaving you to grapple with mounting worry and indecision.

After a moment of hesitation, you decided to confront the situation head-on, pushing aside any thoughts of future repercussions. You reached out and gently grasped the cold metal of the door handle. Taking a deep breath to steel yourself, you slowly turned the knob and eased the door open, the hinges creaking softly.

As the bathroom came into view, your eyes were immediately drawn to him, huddled in the corner of the shower. His form was hunched over, back pressed firmly against the tiled walls as if trying to disappear into them. The shower was running over him but instead of clear water, a steady stream of crimson flowed beneath him, swirling ominously before disappearing down the drain.

Your gaze was inevitably drawn to his right hand, it was covered in blood, fresh and glistening under the harsh bathroom lights. His nails were ragged and torn, thick chunks of flesh clung to them, the aftermath to the frenzied self-mutilation he had inflicted upon himself. The raw, exposed skin underneath looked so painful, the pieces of skin that he clearly had torn and tried to rip away from himself clear as day.

Your eyes slowly traced the contours of his body, lingering on the gleaming silver titanium that seamlessly merged with his flesh. The junction between metal and skin was marked by a vicious scar, a sight you had seen before during your previous bathing sessions. However, this time it appeared significantly more severe. The area was angry and inflamed, with fresh blood seeping from the edges, and the surrounding tissue looked far more mutilated than you recalled. The overall damage seemed to have intensified, leaving you with a sense of growing concern.

His eyes, wide and unblinking, were fixed straight ahead, as if seeing something beyond the confines of the room. The vacant stare sent a chill down your spine, he looked so empty and haunted there under the steady shower. His hand trembled visibly, betraying the depth of his distress very clearly, as if his wounds weren’t enough to go off of. Words couldn’t compare to this sight alone.

"Soldat..." You whispered, your voice barely audible as you gently closed the door behind you, careful not to startle him. The soft click of the latch seemed to echo in the tense silence of the room, the shower had been muffled by now, your brain zoning the sound out in hopes he would speak. "What's going on, hm?" You asked carefully, your tone was slightly apprehensive, your approach had to be very careful. You remained rooted to the spot, instinctively knowing that approaching him too quickly might escalate the situation. Instead, you stayed put, your body language open and non-threatening. "Did you do that?"

He remained motionless, unresponsive to his surroundings, as if frozen in place. Despite the scalding temperature of the water cascading over him, he shivered uncontrollably, as if he were trapped in a blizzard. The relentless stream of hot water had turned his skin an angry, vivid red, resembling a freshly boiled lobster wherever it made contact. You slowly stepped closer, speaking up again. "Did you do that to your arm?" You repeated.

Soldat finally stirred, his trembling hand slowly reaching up to his bleeding shoulder. His nails dug deeply into the scar tissue as his gaze fixed upon the metallic surface of his prosthetic limb. Unbeknownst to you, his mind was awash with vivid, haunting memories of endless saws mercilessly cutting into his flesh. The loss of his arm hadn't been a clean, swift amputation. No, it had been a gradual, excruciating process that began around his elbow.

In the sterile confines of the laboratory, they had methodically removed the rest, piece by agonizing piece. Throughout the entire ordeal, Soldat remained horrifyingly conscious, forced to endure every moment as they systematically dismembered him, carving away at his body with the cold precision of butchers preparing a carcass.

The gruesome experience marked the beginning of his torment at the hands of HYDRA. It was merely the opening act in a long, nightmarish performance that would span decades. As hellish as this initial ordeal was, it paled in comparison to the tortures that would follow. The amputation of his arm, as brutal and inhumane as it had been, would come to be seen as almost merciful when juxtaposed against the relentless cruelty he would endure in the years to come.

The memory of the cold metal was seared into his consciousness. He could still vividly recall the sensation of the frigid prosthetic fused to his body, an unnatural extension of himself that felt more like an invasive parasite than a replacement limb. The cold was so intense it transcended mere discomfort, burning his flesh with its icy touch. In his desperation to be free of this foreign appendage, he had made numerous attempts to tear it from his body, clawing at the juncture where flesh met metal until his fingers were raw and bleeding.

HYDRA's response to these acts of defiance was characteristically brutal.

They forcibly removed his fingernails, not out of concern for his well-being, but to protect their valuable asset. In their eyes, Soldat was no longer a person, no longer human. He had been reduced to a mere object, a weapon to be wielded at their discretion, stripped of his humanity and autonomy.

They did this frequently, until he stopped clawing at himself.

He had nails now, and they served as desperate tools in his frantic attempt to extricate the metal embedded within his flesh. His prosthetic limb was a source of intense loathing; he yearned to be rid of it, to cast it off entirely. The sensations it produced were a maddening contradiction; simultaneously frigid and scorching, each moment bringing fresh waves of agony. The pain was all-encompassing, radiating from every point where flesh met metal, leaving him bewildered by its relentless intensity. Where was this torment originating from? How could this damn appendage cause such overwhelming suffering-

"Soldat, you're hurting yourself," you intervened, your voice cutting through the fog of his anguish and halting his downward spiral into self-destruction. Slowly, as if emerging from a trance, he lifted his gaze to meet yours. His fingers had burrowed beneath his skin like eager maggots, exposing the cold gleam of metal that had been forcibly inserted beneath layers of tissue and muscle. You reached out slowly, doing your best to avoid startling him. Carefully, you grasped his hand, applying just enough pressure to halt its destructive path, and gradually eased it away from his bloodied shoulder.

"There we go...oh, Soldat, look at you..." You whispered gently, watching the scalding water sear down on his wound, washing dark garnet into a watery pastel.

He whimpered softly in response, his body trembling with fear as he anticipated your reaction. You had caught him in the act, and he had been surreptitiously harming himself for some time now. His timid, apprehensive eyes slowly lifted to meet yours, filled with a mixture of dread and resignation. He fully expected you to unleash a torrent of angry words, to raise your hand against him, or to inflict some form of harsh punishment for the self-inflicted damage to his arm.

But to his surprise and confusion, you did none of those things. Unlike the cruel handlers from his past, you exhibited a gentle demeanor that was entirely foreign to him. Your actions spoke of kindness, a concept he struggled to comprehend.

"Ты не собираешься меня на��азать?" He questioned hesitantly, his brow furrowed in a perplexed frown as he addressed you. His voice emerged as a barely audible whisper, weak and raspy from prolonged disuse. It sounded like he had swallowed broken glass, his throat utterly torn apart.

Prior to this moment, he had only uttered three single words on separate occasions: a tentative ‘thank you,’ a fearful ‘no,’ and a hesitant ‘yes.’ You found yourself grateful for your basic understanding of Russian, which allowed you to decipher his simple words, but full sentences would be trickier. He hadn't said a thing in English yet.

"Eh...I'm sorry, I don't understand, Soldat...but...I'm not mad." You reassured gently, your voice barely above a whisper. "Let's get you out of here and cleaned up, okay?" You spoke softly, reaching out with a steady hand towards the shower knob. With a twist, you halted the flow of water, the sudden silence amplifying the sound of his ragged breathing. His body began trembling more noticeably now, the loss of the near-boiling water leaving him exposed to the cooler air. You couldn't help but wince internally at the sight of his scalded skin, angry red compared to the rest of him. However, you forced yourself to push that concern aside for the moment. His bloody scars, still weeping and raw, demanded your immediate attention.

You allowed him to remain seated in the shower for a brief moment, giving him time to adjust. You moved towards the bathroom counter, your eyes scanning the contents of the cabinet as you opened it. Methodically, you began pulling out the necessary first aid supplies, arranging them neatly on the countertop. Your gaze flickered back to him, noting how his trembling had intensified. You carefully approached him once more with a large, soft towel draped over your arms.

“Here, I know you’re cold now.” You draped the towel over his shivering form, taking care to keep his injured shoulder exposed so you could tend to it properly. He flinched as the fabric settled around him, instinctively responding to the unusual action. You maintained your calm demeanor, choosing not to react to the flinching. “I’m going to clean this up a bit, okay? All you have to do is sit still. That’s pretty easy, right?” You tried your best to sound comforting, knowing his nerves were through the roof and he was especially fragile.

His shoulder was a gruesome sight, coated in a deep crimson layer of blood with ragged pieces of flesh hanging precariously from where he had been violently digging. You couldn't help but let out a soft, empathetic sigh as you reached for a substantial handful of sterile gauze. Kneeling beside him with careful movements, you noticed how he deliberately avoided your gaze, his eyes fixed intently on the intricate patterns of the tile floor beneath you both.

With precision, you reached up and began to gently dab at the blood-soaked area, allowing the pristine white gauze to gradually absorb the viscous red liquid, allowing the injury to become more visible to you to assess the proper kind of treatment.

The self-inflicted damage from his frantic clawing was even worse than you had initially feared. Deep, angry tears marred his shoulder, the surrounding scar tissue visibly swollen and undoubtedly hypersensitive to the touch. Despite the pain he must have been experiencing, Soldat remained remarkably still for you, permitting you to continue your ministrations as you meticulously dabbed away the excess blood.

Your heart ached at the sight, and you found yourself whispering softly, your voice barely audible in the quiet room, "Oh, Soldat…look at what you've done to yourself." Your tone was filled with compassion rather than judgment as you continued, "You must be in so much pain to have resorted to this. I wish I could take it all away."

He didn't reply, which was expected given his current state. He simply allowed you to continue dabbing at his wounds until the majority of the bleeding had subsided. The condition of his skin was a bit alarming, and you found yourself hesitating, unsure of how to properly treat such severe injuries. Your medical knowledge was limited, lacking the expertise required for advanced treatments such as suturing.

But, upon closer inspection, you felt a wave of relief wash over you as you realized the wounds, while serious, weren't as bad as you had initially feared. Not bad enough for stitches at least. A few carefully applied butterfly bandages and snug gauze wrapping would be sufficient to promote healing. Besides, you hoped his enhanced healing might help aid on this too.

"I'm going to start wrapping you up now, okay? I'll also need to apply some bandages over certain areas to help keep the skin together. You're being so brave and cooperative," you said, your words of encouragement causing his eyes to lift slightly, meeting yours. The subtle shift in his demeanor made your heart rate quicken, a warmth spreading through your chest as you sensed him beginning to trust you. "I need you to remain as still as possible while I do this. Can you manage that for me?"

After a moment of consideration, he responded with a soft, barely audible, "...да." The Russian affirmation, though brief, conveyed his understanding and compliance.

You offered him a warm, reassuring smile as you began the delicate process of tending to his wounds. You carefully cleaned each injury using soft cotton balls soaked in a mild antiseptic solution. You winced slightly as you dabbed the open wounds but he hadn’t flinched at all, despite knowing the antiseptic stung. Once the cleaning was complete, you applied bandages to the areas where his skin had been broken, taking extra care to position them for optimal healing. For the scar itself, you had a handful of things. First laying down a layer of soft, cushioning gauze to help with any bleeding that might occur, you then wrapped it with an adherent bandage to keep everything in place.

Throughout the entire process, he observed you intently, his gaze alternating between your focused expression and the various medical supplies you used. His eyes searched quickly for anything sharp, but he didn’t see anything like that. This experience was entirely new to him; never before had he been allowed to witness the ministrations performed on him.

The HYDRA scientists had preferred to keep him in the dark, relishing his startled reactions to unexpected pain or discomfort. It was so different to your approach. They liked watching him struggle against the bindings he was kept in, then used it as an excuse to hurt him more, as if his very valid reaction to being cut open with a scalpel or stabbed with a needle was unwarranted. But nothing you did hurt. You were so careful, like you were afraid to hurt him.

"There...all done." You hummed gently, a soft smile playing on your lips as you looked up to him once the bandages were securely fastened in place. Your eyes scanned over your handiwork, ensuring everything was just right. "Now, I want you to take it easy, okay? Don't push yourself too hard. But if it happens to come undone or feels uncomfortable, just let me know. I can always redo it for you." You reassured him, your voice warm and caring. Taking a small step back, you gave him some space, understanding that he might need a moment to adjust to the new sensation of the bandages.

Soldat, still silent, gripped the towel tighter and wrapped the damp fabric around himself, creating a cocoon of sorts. The quiet that enveloped the room was almost tangible, broken only by the soft dripping of water. You watched him carefully, noting how he seemed to be taking inventory of his newly bandaged body. In your mind, you surmised that he probably needed a few seconds to get accustomed to the feeling of the bandages against his skin, perhaps even testing their flexibility as he moved.

After what felt like an eternity but was likely only a minute or two, Soldat made a move to stand. His legs were a bit unsteady, trembling slightly under his weight as he rose. He took cautious steps out of the shower, leaving behind a trail of water droplets. He came to a stop directly in front of you, close enough that you could feel the residual warmth from his shower-heated skin. His still-wet hair continued to release tiny rivulets of water, the droplets trailing down his face and neck before disappearing into the towel.

Your eyes were drawn to his, those steel blue irises that always seemed to hold so much depth. As you gazed into them, trying to decipher his thoughts, you realized that while they were as inscrutable as ever, there was something there. A look, a silent request perhaps. He seemed to be seeking something more from you, though you couldn't quite pinpoint what it was.

"Alright, let's get you properly dried off," you whispered, your voice barely above a breath. Your hands moved of their own accord, grasping the edges of the towel he held. "And then... well, I think we should get you settled comfortably in the living room. How does that sound?" As you spoke, you began to gently pat him dry, your movements careful and considerate, especially around the newly bandaged areas. The act felt intimate, you had done it before, but it felt different this time.

He was carefully dried off and dressed in clean, comfortable clothes before being gently guided to the living room. You led him to the spot where you had been sitting earlier, allowing him to sink into the warm impression left by your body. As you draped your thick, cozy blanket over his legs, he instinctively pulled it up higher, cocooning himself in its comforting weight. His tense muscles began to relax as he nestled deeper into the soft folds, finding a small measure of solace in the simple act of being warm and protected.

You settled yourself beside him, your eyes drawn to the bandages adorning his shoulder. You broached the subject that had been weighing on your mind, wondering about his habits, "Do you do that a lot, Soldat?" The question hung in the air, your tone carefully modulated to convey genuine concern rather than accusation or judgment.

For what felt like an eternity, he remained silent, his eyes fixed on some distant point. Just as you began to think he wouldn't respond at all, he gave an almost imperceptible nod.

"Да." The single word, spoken so softly you almost missed it, carried the weight of countless untold stories.

"Why?" you pressed gently, hoping to coax him into opening up, to share even a fragment of the burden he carried. You yearned to understand, to offer whatever comfort or support you could. Your underground research on HYDRA had come up short, you hadn’t discovered much yet, and many of the released files the Black Widow had released were heavily encrypted. But as quickly as that tiny crack in his armor had appeared, it vanished. His lips pressed into a thin, unyielding line, and the brief, guarded glance he cast in your direction spoke louder than words.

Without uttering another word, he had made it abundantly clear that this line of inquiry would go no further. The wall between you, momentarily weakened, had been fortified once more.

"I understand... you don't want to talk about it right now. That's perfectly okay," you reassured gently, your voice filled with compassion. "I want you to know that if you ever feel the urge to hurt yourself again, you can come to me. I'm here for you, and I'll do everything in my power to help you through it." You offered this support sincerely, hoping that your words would resonate with him and provide some comfort. Your intention was to show him that there were alternative ways to cope with his pain, rather than resorting to self-harm. You wanted to be a source of safety and understanding he could turn to.

He remained silent, but you could see that your words were having an impact. His eyes, previously averted, briefly met yours, conveying a mix of vulnerability and gratitude. Then, he slowly shifted his position on the couch. He leaned closer to you, gradually lowering his head until it rested lightly on your leg. He was using your thigh as a makeshift pillow, a huge sign of the trust he was placing in you. It was an incredibly significant step forward in your relationship, a wordless acknowledgment of the connection between you.

You knew this was a big gesture, how much security he must feel for him to allow himself this closeness. Considering he never allowed himself to lay down around you, this was a big step in the right direction. As he settled, he pulled the blanket higher, adjusting it to cover himself more fully. He was positioned to lay on his uninjured flesh shoulder, seeking relief for the wounded one and to be covered by the blanket for some extra security, you knew he didn’t like feeling exposed.

Your hand, trembling slightly with the weight of the moment, slowly descended towards his damp hair. You were acutely aware of your own nervousness, not wanting to make any misstep that might shatter this fragile trust. This unexpected display of vulnerability had caught you by surprise, and you wanted to handle it carefully. Your fingers gently made contact with his hair, gently running through his chestnut locks in a soothing gesture. Your touch was light and tentative, massaging and lightly scratching at his scalp as he laid there.

Soldat permitted this rare moment of complete vulnerability. He was feeling particularly exposed and fragile, yet he felt secure enough in your presence to lay beside you. To lay on you. The comfort he found in your company was evident as you both settled in to watch television together.

The episode progressed, you noticed a gradual change in Soldat's subtle movements on your thigh. His breathing began to slow and deepen, becoming more rhythmic with each passing minute. Before long, the weight of his body pressed more heavily against you as he drifted off into a peaceful slumber. You looked down to make sure you weren’t just imagining things.

Soldat felt safe enough in your presence to completely let his guard down and fall asleep.

It was a clear indication to the trust he placed in you, a rare and precious gift from someone who typically kept the world at arm's length upon severe conditioning. The simple act of Soldat falling asleep beside you spoke volumes about the growing bond you had, your chest warming and swelling with warmth as you observed his sleeping form.

You couldn't help the smile that spread on your face.

Dividers by @/strangergraphics | Cover images from Pinterest

I had a few people inquire about being tagged for my fics, if anyone is still be interested in being on a tag list, please let me know.

[recoord]

Staying neutral until Neil Gaiman is convicted by the courts?

Second attempt to express my thoughts on the matter. The first time, my wording was not the best and it needed to be fact checked so here there is a summarized attempt. Thank you to everyone who pointed it out.

Using "neutrality" to remain sceptical to the allegations is not as good as an idea as it seems.

Many have shown scepticism because of the medium, The Tortoise podcast, used to publish most of the accusations. I've found many don't know there's a second podcast that published one of the women's allegations: Am I Broken: Survivor Stories Podcast. A podcast made by a non-binary licensed clinical mental health counselor specializing in sexual trauma. The link for the podcast is here and the link for the transcript here. [Credits for the transcript to Ersatz Haderach].

Personally, I think you shouldn't discard the allegations just for the medium chosen, they're still valid. But, there’s a second podcast and Claire's allegations there help to amplify the other victims's voices. If you haven't read or listened to any of the allegations, that could be a good start.

Ignoring that information and testimonies exist is far from being neutral. Learn about the allegations before choosing "neutrality".

It's important to notice that in cases like the ones exposed by the women's allegations against Gaiman, "Neutrality" is already biased in favor of the accused.

Waiting for a formal sentence for Gaiman to start believing in the victims is choosing to blindly trust a corrupt system. It also sounds like if you weren't conscious enough of the many problems that rape victims face in the justice system.

I've found an interesting report on the matter with information about how justice fails victims . Here are some important points:

Why the legal justice fails rape survivors?

According to a report made by Centre for Women’s Justice, the End Violence Against Women Coalition, Imkaan and Rape Crisis England & Wales.(2020):

Obstacles to conviction

- "In the vast majority of (adult) rape cases, the defendant will accept that sexual intercourse took place, and it is only the element of ‘consent’ that is in dispute, or – put another way – whether a reasonable person would characterise what happened as consensual or non-consensual."

"Given the sexual nature of the offence, it will often take place in private, the complainant and defendant (or defendants) being the only persons present."

"There are very rarely any eye-witnesses to the offence itself, able to corroborate either the complainant or the defendant’s account as to what has unfolded. Indeed, there will more often be no independent evidence at all which corroborates the complainant’s account as to the circumstances of the sexual encounter. At best, there may be circumstantial evidence which supports what the complainant is saying: evidence which, for example, provides a picture of the complainant’s physical or mental state before and/or after the attack; or there may be evidence which is broadly supportive of her credibility, or undermines the suspect’s credibility."

- Even in ‘better’ periods, rape cases have always posed very significant challenges for prosecutors. While volumes of convictions have fluctuated over the years, the rate of convictions for rape has invariably been lower than in most other areas of crime."

-“it has been widely accepted by criminal justice bodies that many members of the public continue to believe in long-standing ‘myths and stereotypes’ relating to rape, which do not correspond with reality, result in disbelief of victims/survivors, and are now outdated in the eyes of the law.”

- “When a victim/survivor’s credibility is considered so fundamental to winning a rape or serious sexual offences trial, those who do not fit the ‘mould’ of a credible victim – because of their age, their outward presentation, their social skills, a disadvantaged background, or a learning mental health disability – are the least likely to see justice served.”

- “Whenever the profile of rape victims/survivors and their poor treatment by the criminal justice system begins to receive the attention it deserves, there comes a backlash and a rise in public concern regarding the fate of the ‘falsely’ accused.”

I recommend reading the whole report for further information.

Don't choose "neutrality" as an excuse to hide your bias, listen to the victims. There is a lot of information out there. Many patterns are repeated among victims who, before the allegations were made public, thought they were the only person who experienced the same thing, with Gaiman as the common denominator.

If you want to add something, feel free to do it.

[strwberri-milk]

hi! I love ur works they're all so sweet☹️ i was wondering if i could maybe request the l&ds men with a reader who has a constant tummy ache😔 i wake up, tummy ache, on my period, tummy ache, i try to sleep, tummy ache. it's a constant pain💔💔

anyways thank you so much and have a wonderful day🩷🩷🩷

lowkey stomachaches are so uncomfortable :(( same w headaches for me i say as though thats not the whole reason why theyre called aches

Zayne is immediately on you to try and figure out if there's something else going on that is leading to the fact that you have chronic stomachaches. His brain doesn't really turn off when it comes to doing things for your health so he can't really help but try to solve you problem.

Regardless, he's very good at giving you things to soothe your stomach, figuring out what sorts of things he can give you to help settle it. If you just want his presence, you got it but not without also drinking something or eating something easy to digest to make sure you at least get some nutrients that also help you feel better.

Xavier strikes me as the kind of person who doesn't really suffer from aches and pains or if he does he just totally ignores them so he's not sure what to do. He'll ask if you want medicine or some sort of tea he heard helps settle an upset stomach. He'll ask periodically if you're feeling better and tends to get you foods that he knows you can stomach because he doesn't want to accidentally make things worth.

Rafayel will practically be holding you even more than usual, palm over your stomach as he lightly uses his evol to act as a heating pad. He'll also massage your stomach absentmindedly, paying attention to your reactions to ensure that he doesn't accidentally make things too warm, or too rough. He'll also learn how to cook better meals for you if needed, wanting to feed you and shower you with attention to help you feel better.

Sylus also keeps his hand over your stomach, cooing at you gently whenever it gets really bad and asking what things you want. He'll spoil you with attention and treats - literally anything you want, he has it but amplified to 10 because he hates knowing that you're hurting and he can't do anything about it. He'll check in on you often, asking if you're feeling better or if there's anything else he could do to besides dote on you.

[doctorstethoscope]

Lucky

Summary: Marriage means sticking together in sickness and in health. Apparently, Aaron takes the ‘in sickness’ part pretty seriously. It’s a Hotchner family sick day, and he’s determined to take care of you and Jack.

Pairing: Hotch x blank slate Fem!Reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Mild description of illness (mentions of fever, headaches, nausea, one reference to vomit). Otherwise it’s all tooth-rotting fluff

You wake yourself up mid-sneeze, which is arguably one of the worst ways to wake up. Aaron’s side of the bed is empty but warm, and you start to stand up to go find him when you’re hit with a woozy feeling and have to sink back into the pillows. “Aaron?” You call out, sniffling a couple of times as you take stock of how you’re feeling.

Honestly, you feel like trash. Your head has started to pound and your sinuses feel so pressurized that you have to stick your face into Aaron’s pillow in case your head explodes from being upright. You aren’t feeling nauseous, luckily, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t miserable when you realize that you’re sick.

Footsteps of socked feet pad down the hallway, and you hear the door crack open. “Hon? Jack is sick, he’s asking for you,” Aaron says.

He’s probably speaking at a normal volume, but every sound is so amplified to your aching head that you just whine, an unintelligible sound that kind of resembles, “Shut up.”

The door opens a little wider, and the creaking of it gives way to the creaking of the bed when Aaron sits down on the edge. “Are you okay?” His voice is softer and his hand finds the place between your shoulder blades, rubbing small soothing circles.

You try to shake your head, but it’s hurting too badly for that. “How’s Jack?” You croak out, just hoping that he feels better than you do.

“He’s running a fever and he threw up a little. I changed his bedsheets and cleaned him up, and I already called in to keep an eye on him today. I think you should call in too.” His hand moves to your cheek and then your forehead, presumably checking for the same fever Jack has.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll call in, though, if you insist.” Even though you’re speaking sarcastically, his answer is predictable.

“I do.” Aaron stands up and kisses the top of your head. “I’m going to go find some medicine. I’ll be right back with that and some water for you, alright?”

You hum, a noise of affirmation, but you’re fast asleep by the time he returns a minute later.

When you wake up, you’re alone. The curtains are half-open, exposing just enough light for you to be able to see, but still comfortably sleep. The nightstand is cleared off aside from a glass of water, a dish with three pills in it, and a silver handheld bell.

You wrinkle your nose, eyes adjusting to the light as you reach for the glass of water with one eye shut. The bell is knocked to the floor instead, a result of your poor coordination, and the door opens.

“You rang?” Aaron says softly, and you can hear the smile on his lips.

You groan in response, covering your ears with both hands. The ring of the bell echoes in your head for a long moment, and you take the time to wonder if divorce is still an option. “What were you thinking? A bell, seriously? My head hurts.” You’re all but whining, but Aaron doesn’t appear to take it personally.

“Sorry, my love. I thought it would be easier than shouting for me,” he apologizes, helping you sit up. You take the glass of water from him and use it to swallow the pills he hands you, and he kisses your forehead as he takes the glass back. “Is it just a headache?”

“I think I- I- achoo!” You cut yourself off with a loud sneeze that turns into a groan of pain. “No. What about Jack? Is he feeling any better?”

“He’s sleeping, but his fever is steady. I was thinking, if you’re up for it, I could set you up in the living room. We could close the curtains, turn on a movie, bundle you up on the couch. How does that sound?” Aaron suggests, one arm wrapped around you to rub soothingly at your upper arm.

It sounds nice, actually, so you manage to stand up with the duvet wrapped around you and shuffle out to the living room couch. Aaron knows you well; the couch has already been primed with your favourite throw blankets, a couple of pillows, and a bottle of Gatorade nestled against the arm.

There are Disney Movies queued up on the television, and you sit and let Aaron wrap you up in blankets as ‘Lion King’ starts to play.

For a few hours, you doze in and out of sleep while Aaron stays nearby, always with a hand on your back or an arm around you. You awaken to drink a bit more water, sneeze a few more head-splitting times, and eventually you find that you can’t fall back asleep.

The blanket is too hot now, and you push it off only to start shivering. That’s how you find yourself curled up against Aaron’s side, tucked under one large arm while you clear your throat to bring up what you’ve thought all day. “You shouldn’t have called in.”

“Don’t worry about that,” he whispers, stroking a thumb over your shoulder. “I want to be here. I promise.”

“You just had two whole weeks off for the honeymoon. Strauss won’t be mad?” You ask, and a knowing smirk splits Aaron’s face.

“You mean the third honeymoon? Because I got called to work on the days we were supposed to leave the first two times we tried?” He reminds you, holds you a little closer. “Strauss owes me a day off. And I want to spend the day making sure you’re being cuddled back to health.”

You can’t think of a rebuttal no matter how badly you want to, because your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a door opening. “Daddy? Momma?”

Aaron squeezes your shoulder and then stands, making sure to tuck the blanket around you so that you don’t get too cold again. Confident steps carry him down the hall to where you can imagine Jack is standing in the doorway.

There’s murmured conversation, Aaron’s voice saying, “Are you sure?” and Jack’s insisting that he is. When Aaron returns, the boy is bundled up in his arms.

“Somebody wanted to join us for movie time and cuddling,” he explains to you, setting Jack in the big armchair. When his son starts to protest, Aaron defends himself. “Momma is sick, too, buddy. I don’t want you making each other worse.”

“Give him here. It’s okay, Jack, you can lie down with me,” you offer, holding out both arms. “I’ll try not to get you sick.”

“Too late for that,” Aaron grumbles under his breath, but he carries your son over all the same. When he tries to sit, you hold up a hand.

“Uh uh. You said you’d make sure I get cuddled back to health, right?” You rub Jack’s back, holding him against your chest as he curls up in your lap. The movement brings with it a wave of nausea that you ignore. “You’re in quarantine, Hotchner. We aren’t getting you sick, too.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” He moves into the kitchen, leaving you and Jack alone for a few minutes while he clanks pots and pans around.

You bring a hand up and lay the back of it against Jack’s cheek. “How are you feeling, little man?” You ask quietly.

“Tummy hurts,” he mumbles into your neck. “But it hurt more before.”

“Yeah? Do you want to take a nap and watch some movies with me?” You offer, and he snuggles in a little closer.

Finding Nemo is playing now, and you watch Jack as he watches the screen with increasingly droopy eyelids. He’s on the verge of falling asleep when Aaron returns, carefully balancing two soup bowls.

He places one on the coffee table for Jack, and sets the other in your free hand. “It’s turkey gnocchi. It shouldn’t be too hard on your stomach,” he explains in a whisper, turning the TV down.

“Thank you, baby.” You turn your head away when he leans down to kiss you. “Quarantine, remember? Go, be healthy somewhere else.”

Aaron’s eye roll is predictable but he stands up all the same, prepared to exit the room as per your demands. He’s almost over the threshold when he pauses and you start to ask what’s wrong, but before you can speak he lets out the loudest sneeze you’ve ever heard.

It’s so loud that Jack wakes up just in time to hear Aaron sneeze twice more in succession, and he pokes you to get your attention. “Is Daddy sick?”

You grin, holding him a little closer. “I think he might be, buddy. Aaron, are you okay?”

Aaron sniffles a couple times from the doorway, and you notice how congested he sounds when he says, “I’m fine.”

“You’re fine, really? So you’ll go spend the rest of the day in bed while Jack and I get to hang out?” Maybe baiting him with his son isn’t the nicest way to get your husband to admit to feeling ill, but it’s really the only way you can think of.

It works, if the growing frown on Aaron’s face is anything to go by. “Well, I didn’t say…”

“No, no. You’re fine, you’re healthy. So go on, don’t let our germs stop you.” Jack is giggling in your arms now, having caught on to the game. “Go, before we get you sick. ‘Cause that was just, what? Allergies?”

He’s moving back towards you now, pulling the bowl of soup out of your free hand; the other is still wrapped around Jack.

“Wait, wait. I can’t lie down with my husband, and now I can’t even eat soup?” You complain, and Aaron plops down next to you on the couch.

“It’s one or the other, sweetheart. And I don’t mind your germs all that much,” he murmurs, wrapping an arm around you. Jack crawls between the two of you, lying on top of the space where your bodies press together.

“Is that so?” You ask as he hands you back the bowl, beginning to eat it since your hands are both free now. It’s delicious, like everything Aaron cooks, and still warm enough that you can feel it in your belly. “I’m the luckiest newlywed in the world.”

Instead of responding, Aaron pulls a blanket up over the three of you and grabs the remote. ‘Ice Age’ starts to play as you swallow another spoonful, and Jack rolls over into his dad’s waiting arms.

The living room is quiet for a few minutes, save for the sounds coming from the TV. Jack is half asleep with his head on Aaron’s stomach and a hand resting on your knee when Aaron finally says, “You aren’t, you know.”

“Aren’t what?” You set the soup bowl aside and curl up, your temple pressed against his shoulder.

“The luckiest newlywed in the world.” His lips graze the top of your head, but he pulls away just in time for you to sneeze into your elbow. “I am.”

You wipe your nose with your sleeve- unnecessary, but it feels wrong not to- and laugh aloud at that. “You are, really? With a wife who’s eating up your personal days and getting the whole family sick, you’re the luckiest?”

“Yeah.” He speaks quietly, confidently, voice not wavering. “Yeah, I really think I am. Come here.”

You can’t get much closer but you try, cuddling up as close as possible to your husband and son while Aaron eats some of the soup Jack didn’t end up tasting before passing out. The movie plays on, and you hardly pay attention; you’re too busy thinking about exactly how happy- and lucky- you really are.

[imlittlebitdie]

So now in the latest saga of Lando Norris Trying to Make Me Hate Him, we have Lando *checks notes* being shitty towards other drivers that had heatstroke after Singapore.

First of all, someone should introduce rich boy to the idea of “class consciousness”. Instead of tearing down his fellow drivers for health issues after the race (that he implied he was also feeling), he should direct his ire to the people in charge.

Why not use the collective power they have as drivers to influence a change? That’s the entire reason for a driver’s union.

Why is he denigrating people’s health issues (which he is in no position to judge as he is not a medical professional), when instead he could be amplifying their experience and his own to call for change.

Lando sees other people suffering and says, “why do they get a free pass, I suffered too.” He sees their health being put at risk and he judges the driver and the team for looking out for them.

Max, his own best friend, told him “you don’t know what they’re going through.” And he doesn’t, Mercedes has been having a problem with their cockpit getting too hot even before Singapore. There’s been no indications that that has been fixed.

But instead of saying, “yeah maybe you have a point.” Lando instead says, “they don’t know mine.” Again, here it’s either Lando gets the focus or no one should. It has to be about him.

And either way, if he does feel like this…he doesn’t need to say it.

It’s perfectly normal to keep shitty opinions to yourself, but he seems to lack a certain level of self-awareness and discernment for that level of self-control.

Lando Norris, I tried very hard but you’ve made me not like you.

[hunkystephaudio]

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[goldenempyrean]

I've Got You

〚 Notes - Okay, hello! This fic was the result with another collab with the awesome @lots-of-pockets and I think it turned out pretty good :D 〛

〚 Pairing - Natasha Romanoff x Reader 〛

〚 Summary - It was early into your relationship with Nat when you wound up sick but you didn't have the heart to tell her, unsure of how she'd react. Despite your claims, it seems Nat's a little more concerned about your health than you first thought 〛

〚 Wordcount - 1700 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

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It had started with a persistent tickle in the back of your throat. A little irritating but nothing a little water and chamomile tea couldn’t fix. But then came the runny nose and stuffed up sinuses, and no matter how many times you blew your nose, it would return with a vengeance. Every. Freaking. Time.  

You end up going through two boxes of tissues in just a day, and your poor nose had been rubbed red raw. You didn’t often get sick. Maybe once or twice a year and it was never anything more than the casual cold. Usually, you’d allow yourself to take a day off work to recoup knowing that your boss wouldn’t want you at anything less than your best, and that was that.  

But you had a sinking feeling that this time, that wouldn’t be the case. You felt absolutely horrible, and that was only amplified by a thousand when you realised that tonight was the night that Natasha going to be driving down to see you. There was no way she could sick you sick, you’d just have to pretend you were completely fine.  

The two of you had only been dating for a little under seven weeks, so things were still pretty new to the both of you. That includes the affection front. Sure, you kissed and occasionally cuddled, but you were nowhere near close enough to be comfortable with her looking after your sick self.  

It was why tonight would suck, because not only would you have to pretend you weren't sick, it meant you would also have to hide every single sniffle, every cough and every sneeze. All of which you knew would next to impossible because you just happened to have a former ex-KGB assassin as your girlfriend. 

You had tried everything to make yourself look and feel better. You even went to extent of gargling with salt water and taking some over-the-counter medicine (which you were usually against) to relieve your symptoms. But nothing seemed to work. 

As the hours slowly ticked by, you found yourself continually feeling worse and worse. Your head was pounding, your body aching, and for the life of you, you couldn't stop coughing. Trying to distract yourself by cleaning up the apartment and making some dinner was hard, mainly because it was a struggle to even stand up for more than a few minutes at a time. 

You tried your best to make yourself look as presentable as possible, despite still feeling like death warmed over. You even took a hot shower, hoping that it would clear out your sinuses, but it only seemed to make things worse. Ignoring the pleasing urge to shove on some warm, comforting pyjamas, you forced yourself to change into some nicer looking clothes, hoping it would distract Natasha from your symptoms, but you knew deep down that it was a lost cause. 

When Natasha finally arrived, you put on your best smile on and greeted her at the door. She hugged you tightly, and you couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for not being able to reciprocate as enthusiastically as you wanted to. 

As you hugged Natasha, you could feel a fateful sneeze building up at the back of your nose. Panicking a little, you tried to suppress it, but your efforts were ultimately in vain. You felt your nostrils flare and your eyes begin to water, and you knew there was no way to hide it much longer. 

No longer able to fight it, you quickly pulled away from Natasha, turning your head and sneezing into your elbow. You tried to play it off as a small cough, but you knew she had heard you. 

"Are you okay?" she asked, concern etched across her features. A hint of knowing crossed her face, but you were too busy trying to stifle another sneeze to notice it. After finally managing to get yourself under control, you send her what you hoped was a reassuring smile as you nodded your head.  

“I’m okay. Just allergies.” You lied, pulling open the front door to properly welcome her inside. Natasha eyed you suspiciously as she stepped inside your apartment, kicking off her shoes andsetting down her overnight bag.  

“I’m okay, really.” You reaffirmed as you closed and locked your front door, turning to face Natasha who was already staring at you with a doubtful look on her face.  

Thankfully, she says nothing, simply taking you by the hand and leading you over to the couch. You sniffled softly as you sat down, and tried to be as subtle as you could about wiping your nose with the sleeve of your shirt.  

There were no tissues near you anyway - not that you could blow your nose even if you wanted to because that would definitely give you away. So, you resorted to suffer in silence, bringing your attention back over to Natasha who was currently telling you about how her drive here had gone. 

As Natasha continued to talk, you could feel the tell-tale tickle in your nose again and you knew that you were about to sneeze. You desperately try to hold it in, clamping your mouth shut and scrunching up your face. You focused all your energy on keeping the sneeze at bay, hoping that Natasha won't notice. 

But just as she finished her story, you can't hold it in any longer. A loud "Hh’iishoo!" echoes through the room, and you cringed, feeling both embarrassed and self-conscious. 

Natasha looked at you with concern. "Are you sure you're, okay?" She asked again. 

You nodded, feeling guilty for lying to her, but what else could you do, "It's just allergies," you repeated your earlier excuse, "I'll be fine." 

Natasha studied you for a moment before eventually nodding. "Okay," She said, still sounding unsure before adding "But if you need anything, let me know." 

You smile gratefully at her, feeling relieved that she doesn't press the issue any further. You tried your best to focus back on the ongoing conversation, but it was getting harder to concentrate with your nose continually running and your head feeling heavier by the minute. 

Giving in, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom, hoping that a few minutes alone will help you regain your composure. As soon as you're inside, you let out a series of sneezes, finally letting your guard down. 

You blew your nose and splash some water on your face, trying to feel better. But as you stared pitifully at your reflection in the mirror, you came to realise that you look utterly terrible. Your eyes are red and watery, your nose is bright red, and you're sweating uncontrollably despite feeling cold all over. 

You took a deep breath and attempted to compose yourself, knowing that you couldn’t let Natasha see you like this. Splashing some more water your face, you took a few final deep breaths before returning back to the living room. 

When you get there, Natasha was stood up again, eyebrow raised pointedly with her arms crossed against her chest. That same look of knowing was back on her face, and you immediately knew jig was up.  

“You’re sick.” She stated, and you felt yourself sigh softly as you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear before sitting yourself back down onto the couch. You don’t deny her accusations, knowing full well you wouldn’t get anywhere if you tried too. 

“It’s not even allergy season,” she added, shaking her head as she sat down on the coffee table in front of you. “You lied to me.”  

“I’m sorry,” You immediately apologised, the guilt you had been feeling suddenly amplified by a thousand at her words, “I just didn’t want you to have to deal with me like this. All sick, congested and gross.” You trailed off in an unsure murmur, using the sleeve of your shirt to wipe of your nose again, not bothering to hide it this time. 

But you grimaced slightly when Natasha took that same sleeve without issue and folded it up so the soiled part of it was out of sight. Apparently, germs didn’t bother her unlike you had previously thought.  

“Look at me,” she murmurs softly, taking your hand in her own and giving it a soft squeeze. You coughed slightly in the bend of your arm before complying. Seeing that Natasha’s lips had quirked up into a soft grin, you couldn’t help but feel yourself mimic it despite how crappy you were feeling.  

“I know it hasn’t been very long, but I promise it’s okay to let yourself be vulnerable with me.” She started, trailing the pad of her thumb across the back of your hand gently. 

You nodded weakly at her words, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. You had been trying so hard to hide your sickness from Natasha, afraid that she would think less of you for being weak and vulnerable. But her words were like a balm to your soul, soothing your worries and reminding you that you weren't alone. 

Natasha stood up from the coffee table and disappears into the kitchen briefly, only to return a few moments later with a steaming cup of tea and a plate of crackers. She set them down on the table in front of you and urges you to eat and drink, knowing that it would help you feel better. 

You took a sip of the tea, letting the warm liquid soothe your sore throat and ease your congested sinuses. You felt a little better already, and it was all thanks to Natasha's care and concern. 

As you ate the crackers and drink the tea, Natasha sat down next to you on the couch and wrapped her arm around your shoulders. Unconsciously, you lean into her embrace, feeling safe and protected in her arms. You felt your eyes close as you took deep breath, savouring the feeling of being cared for and loved. 

Natasha continued to hold you, her fingers tracing soothing patterns on your arm as you slowly drifted off to sleep. You dreamt of being wrapped in her arms, of feeling her warmth and comfort, and of knowing that you were never, ever alone. 

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[thejournallo]

Explain the basic: Crystals

Check out Part 1, which explains how to use the things down below.

Agate

Color: Variety of colorful layers Element: Fire Properties: Calming anxiety, quieting your mind, grounding, connecting with nature, luck, prosperity, getting through tough times, comfort, healing from grief, strength, intelligence, communicating well, boosting confidence, protection

Amazonite

Color: Light green, bluish green Element: Earth Properties: Spirit work, intuition, necromancy, calming anxiety and grounding, quelling fear, communicating clearly, leadership, building trust, inspiring self and others, success and luck, supportive strength, creative ideas, focusing on the end goal, cultivating joy.

Amber

By scientific standards, amber is neither a stone nor a crystal, but it nevertheless has a lot of power. It is beneficial to have nearby as it has the ability to transform negative energy into positive energy. It also possesses energy, which you may observe by rubbing amber across a piece of fabric or carpet to observe the static electricity that results.

Color: Translucent gold Element: Earth Properties: Convert negative energy into positive energy, emptying mind, clarity, releasing stored emotions from your psyche, healing negative emotional wounds, protection, putting mind and spirit at peace.

Amethyst

a revered crystal for centuries, is valued for its healing and protective properties. Its vibrant purple hue signifies its abilities to cleanse spaces, protect against negativity, and promote spiritual well-being. It offers comfort and relief by calming the mind, moderating emotions, and reducing anxiety. Amethyst also aids in improving sleep, addressing subconscious issues, enhancing intuition, and fostering spiritual connections.

Color: Purple Element: Water Properties: Healing, cleansing powers, protection, healing whole self, spiritual intuition, stress relief, calming, dampen mood swings, end nightmares, help insomnia, dream work, psychic skills, spiritual awareness, sobriety, ending and healing addiction, self discipline, inner strength, peace.

Aquamarine

Color: Turquoise, teal Element: Water Properties: Determination, fearlessness, expressing yourself, cleansing and purification, tapping into your intuition and psychic abilities.

Aventurine

Color: Variety but often green Element: Air Properties: Creativity, seeing new opportunities, free the mind to accept success, wealth and prosperity, confidence and self power, decisive action.

Azurite

Color: Deep blue Element: Water Properties: Healing of all forms, divination and foresight, dreamwork, focus and concentration, personal and spiritual metamorphosis.

Beryl

Color: Often green or light blue Element: Water Properties: Protection and healing, amplify and tune into energy, and psychic intuition.

Bloodstone

Color: Spotted green and red Element: Fire Properties: Physical health and recovery, healing, confidence in one’s abilities, tenacity, toughness, triumph.

Blue Kyanite

Color: Blue with white layers Element: Water Properties: Balancing energies, new beginnings, soul searching, finding new truths, facing change boldly, guidance in new situations, course corrections.

Calcite

Color: Typically white or yellow Element: Fire Properties: Grounding and centering, cleansing, purifying, mental peace and calm, clear mind.

Carnelian

Color: Orange-red Element: Fire Properties: Manifesting thoughts and ideas into actions and reality, achieving goals, feeling in control, productivity, building self esteem, courage, and confidence, igniting and following passions, eliminating procrastination, building motivation.

Chrysocolla

Color: Turquoise, teal Element: Water Properties: Wisdom, depth of knowledge, balancing mind and emotions, calming oneself, inner peace.

Chrysoprase

Color: Green Element: Earth Properties: Effective communication, working in groups, making your ideas heard, mental influence, poise, articulation.

Citrine

Color: Yellow, orange Element: Fire Properties: Positive energies, calming environment at home, facilitating communication, general wellness and well being, joy, protective powers, provides balance.

Diamond

Color: Clear Element: Fire Properties: As the Earth’s hardest substance it gives extreme permanence and durability, diligence, resilience, purification, and personal and spiritual growth.

Emerald

Color: Green Element: Earth Properties: Material success, prosperity, career accomplishment, protection, and self awareness.

Fluorite

Color: Variety of colors Element: Earth Properties: Healing in all forms– physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, energetic.

Garnet

Color: Red, pink Element: Fire Properties: Protection, returns negative energies back to sender, builds desire and passion, creativity and imagination, positive attitude and improve outlook, prime you for success, bring love and strength to others.

Hematite

Hematite, a magnetic material found in the Earth, is prized for its protective and grounding attributes. It enhances mental clarity, memory, and focus while absorbing negativity and stress. It aids in boosting self-esteem, confidence, and breaking bad habits. Hematite's reflective nature supports divination practices like scrying and is useful in attracting positive energies in spellwork

Color: Black, grey, brown Element: Earth Properties: Protection, grounding, think clearly, memory improvement, focus, gain perspective, reduce anxiety, absorb negativity, soothe stress, build self esteem, increase confidence, boost willpower, end addictions, scrying, magnetic properties.

Jade

Color: Green Element: Earth Properties: Self improvement, self love and peace with oneself, emotional health and balance, happiness.

Jasper

Color: Yellow, brown Element: Earth Properties: Flexibility, open mind, career success, coordination, dedication, determination, relentlessness, industriousness, grounding, luck, and balance.

Jet

Color: Black Element: Water Properties: Overcoming grief, healing after death of a loved one, protection, absorbing negativity, grounding, mental and emotional well being, general healing.

Kunzite

Color: Pink, purple Element: Earth Properties: Grounding and balance, relaxation and calm, stress relief, introspection and inner growth, peace and harmony.

Lapis Lazuli

Lapis Lazuli is an ancient and sacred stone that’s been used for its healing and clarity properties for many years. It’s a powerful stone to heal emotional wounds. It’s often used in meditation to promote focus and mental purity.

Color: Blue with white or yellow stripes Element: Water Properties: Eye-opening stone, discover truth, wisdom and intuition, enlightenment and spiritual awakening, find your calling, insight, psychic intuition and prophecy, connecting with the spirit world, focus and concentration, healing emotional wounds.

Lepidolite

Color: Variety but pink is common Element: Water Properties: Emotional balance, mood regulation, calming anxiety, stress, and other negative emotions, bringing about inner peace, ending nightmares, harmonious spirituality.

Lodestone

Lodestone, a magnetic crystal with unique properties, serves as a bridge between stone and metal. Its natural magnetism provides potent healing for the body and is commonly worn for protection and luck attraction. Creating an oil from lodestone enhances its luck-attracting properties, but to maintain its energy, regular feeding, often with the oil alongside other magnetic materials, is necessary.

Color: Black, grey, brown Element: Water Properties: Healing rituals, physical health, energy and endurance, circulation and immune system, pain reduction, good luck amulet, grounding, good luck oil, protection from negativity and dark magick, dampening negative emotions, attracting wealth, prosperity, and luck.

Malachite

Color: Green Element: Earth Properties: Facilitate life changes, rebirth and new beginnings, adventure, personal success, wealth and prosperity.

Moldavite

Color: Green, blue Element: Air Properties: Intuition and psychic abilities, subconscious awareness, wisdom and insight, balance, consecration and blessings.

Moonstone

Color: Variety Element: Water Properties: Emotional connection, forming deep relationships, connection with nature and the cycle of life, listening to the heart, empathy and compassion, heal emotional trauma, kindness, protection from dark magick and negative energies, moon magick, clairvoyance, dreamwork, lucid dreaming, and mystery.

Moss Agate

Color: White, green, black Element: Earth Properties: Physical prowess, strength, victory, bravery, energy, endurance, and stamina, eliminate negative emotions, luck.

Obsidian

Color: Black Element: Fire Properties: Protection from negative energies, grounding.

Onyx

Color: Black Element: Fire Properties: Protection against dark magick, seances, contacting the spirit world and departed loved ones, guards against possessions.

Opal

Color: Variety Element: Air Properties: Can be difficult to use, each color has different properties, strong stone, intensifies emotions, increases sensitivities and consciousness, psychic awareness. 

Peridot

Color: Green, blue Element: Earth Properties: Prosperity, wealth and success, attract luck, abundance, growth and forgiveness, improving your life.

Pyrite

Color: Gold Element: Fire Properties: Luck, success, attracting prosperity and wealth, positivity and optimism, determination and strength to follow passions and achieve goals.

Quartz

Clear quartz stands out as the ideal first crystal for magical work, given its unparalleled versatility. Acting as a substitute for different crystals, it's easily accessible and affordable due to its abundance. Its amplifying, purifying, and directing abilities with positive energies make it excellent for protective spellwork and countering negative forces. Moreover, it aids in healing, clarity, focus, and spiritual development, making it a perfect starting crystal for beginners

Color: Clear Element: Air Properties: All-purpose, versatile, substitute for other crystals, energy pathways, positive energy, direct and strengthen energy, purification, protection, healing, clarification, focus, procrastination, spiritual growth.

Red Jasper

Color: Red Element: Fire Properties: Emotional protection, emotional distance, thinking rationally and logically, letting go of worries, lessen anxiety, dispel negative energies, optimism, stability and security, grounding, strength, defense against dark magick.

Rhodochrosite

Color: Pink, rose Element: Fire Properties: Sexual passions, romantic exploits, sexual power and adventure, attracting love, fertility, forming new relationships and friendships, compassion and empathy for others.

Rhodonite

Color: Pink, rose Element: Fire Properties: Healing especially emotional healing, grief, healing from loss or death, forgiveness,  reconciling old relationships, mending current relationships, attracting love, making yourself a better person for others.

Rose Quartz

Rose quartz, known for its loving energy, covers multiple facets of love—romantic, friendship, caregiving, and self-love. Its use in spells for romance, friendship mending, and healing heartbreak is notable. This crystal aids in opening the heart, fostering unconditional love, and improving self-relationship by enhancing forgiveness, trust, acceptance, and self-worth. Beyond love, it offers healing and protective properties, shielding from negativity, reducing anxiety, and providing comfort and peace.

Color: Pink, rose Element: Water Properties: Romance, friendship, unconditional love, love spells, heartbreak, open heart, cleanse spirit, forgiving and trusting yourself, healing, protection, peace.

Ruby

Color: Red Element: Fire Properties: Sexuality and desire, finding love, virility, life passion, happiness, intuition and clairvoyance, empathy and improving relationships, emotional health.

Sapphire

Color: Variety but often deep blue Element: Water Properties: Psychic abilities, foresight and visions, luck, dreamwork, spiritual connection, creativity and inspiration, subconscious awareness, monetary goals, protection and protective magick.

Selenite

Selenite, a powerful crystal, excels in providing clarity, offering insights into the bigger picture when one feels overwhelmed by details. Its link between the physical and spirit worlds makes it invaluable for meditation and spiritual work. In dream exploration, especially when combined with amethyst, it aids in preventing nightmares, improving sleep, and enhancing dream awareness for lucid dreaming and astral projection. This crystal fosters tranquility, honesty, and virtue by cleansing negativity and elevating personal vibrations, but caution is advised as it should not be exposed to water.

Color: Often milky white Element: Water Properties: Clarity, see big picture, spirit guidance, insight, awareness, spirit work, dream work, stop bad dreams, help insomnia, lucid dreaming, astral projection, peace, calm, truthfulness, virtue, cleansing negativity.

Serpentine

Color: Green, brown Element: Fire Properties: Positivity, bright spirit, generosity, creativity, peace and calm, joy and happiness, consecration and blessings.

moky Quartz

Color: Grey Element: Earth Properties: Positivity and optimism, overcoming fear, overcoming obstacles, intuition and subconscious knowledge, grounding and centering.

Sodalite

Sodalite is a companion stone to lapis lazuli. They have similar properties, and if you require lapis lazuli, you can substitute in sodalite. 

Color: Royal blue Element: Air, water Properties: Psychic intellect, insight and intuition, clairvoyance, rational and logical thought, wisdom, self awareness, clearing the mind of distractions, self control and mental discipline, working in groups, communicating your thoughts to others, two-way communication, improving communication in a relationship.

Sunstone

Color: Variety but often pink or peach Element: Fire Properties: Taking action, following passion, conviction, persistence, embracing fear, sexuality, toughness, sun magick, protection and healing.

Tiger’s Eye

Color: Brown striped Element: Fire Properties: Truth seeking, perceive reality, uncover devious or fraudulent intentions, clarity of the mind, see past illusions and deceptions, integrity and honor, loyalty and courage, and travel protection.

Topaz

Color: Variety but often blue or orange Element: Fire Properties: Avoid scarcity mindset, abundance, winning, success, desire and attractiveness, receptive to love, friendship and affection, intelligence and wisdom, flexibility, mental strength, protection and healing.

Tourmaline

Color: Variety but often pink or green Element: Earth Properties: Avoiding scarcity mindset, abundance, prosperity, believing in yourself, cleansing and protection, clearing the mind, repel negative energies, protect from harm, protect emotions, peace and calm, quell worry and self doubt, reduce stress.

Turquoise

Turquoise, known for its vibrant and protective qualities, adeptly neutralizes negativity and aligns with personal energy. It serves as a potent defense against negativity during social interactions and possesses healing attributes, radiating positivity, joy, peace, and self-love. Whether for grounding, defensive magic, or as a supportive aid in challenging circumstances, turquoise proves to be an invaluable companion.

Color: Bright blue-green Element: Water Properties: Protection, subdue negativity, works with your personal energy, positivity, joy, happiness, grounding, defensive magick, luck and prosperity, love and attraction, empathy and compassion.

Unakite

Color: Mottled green, orange, and other colors Element: Earth Properties: Connecting to nature, empathy with all living beings, animal magick, grounding, natural guidance, peace for all.

Zircon

Color: Variety Element: Fire Properties: Avoiding scarcity mindset, abundance, success, wealth, protection, cleansing and purification, balance and harmony, peace, healing and personal growth, receptive to love, joy.

As always, I will love to hear your thoughts! and if you have any questions, I will be more than happy to answer them! If you liked it, leave a comment or reblog (that is always appreciated!). if you are intrested in more method check the masterlist!

[fallen-faerie]

Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anyway💜]

so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.

i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.

i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.

i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.

i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.

but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.

i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so much💜 and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issues😭 its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying that😭

sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me 😞

[dr-spectre]

Ranting about the Splatoon Fandom Wiki....

I wanna quickly make fun of the Splatoon fandom wiki because like most fandom wikis, it's covered with ads unless you use an adblocker, is poorly formatted, poorly structured, has less info than Inkipedia, doesn't update frequently, has missing information, and genuinely is less "professional" than Inkipedia. It also just copies and pastes info from Inkipedia too so there's that as well... I'm not exactly sure how fandom wiki works and how the moderation works but it seems scattered and not good enough by any means.

Like Callie's page for example has this weird ass paragraph that says Callie was left unstable after Splatoon 2??? And it contains a lot of errors and a very weird subjective piece of text in what is supposed to be an objective as possible page, cause you know, ITS A WIKI!!!

She wants to splat shielded Octarians over and over again because that's just in line with her character, she's energetic and silly, she doesn't give a fuck that you need to go behind them to attack them better, she's just gonna splat them up front with her roller, that's just who she is, she represented team Show No Mercy in Splatoon 1 for a reason. Also that dialogue is cut off from what she actually says to further paint this idea that Callie is some broken unstable girl who was a victim of kidnapping and forced brainwashing, for some fucking reason i don't know. I can't even seem to find the original dialogue they stated because THEY DON'T LINK SOURCES!!! HOW DOES A WIKI NOT PROVIDE SOURCES TO THEIR QUOTES!?!?? WHAT!?? I tried checking Inkipedia and even they don't have this dialogue from Callie, so idfk man. All I know is that the dialogue was cut off. Ugh...

From my memory i don't even recall Callie having a new facial animation where her pupils shrink, or it's just so incredibly minor that it's not worth bringing up at all. She also wasn't smiling to hide her panic when her grandfather was kidnapped and insulting Mr. Grizz what the fuck? She was frowning when Cuttlefish dried up and died for a moment!! She was UPSET! and didn't hide it at all! What the hell?! Also facial animations in Splatoon work by the characters swapping between different mouth presets in quick succession, you can see it for yourself when you watch the Idols perform and sing, their mouths don't move smoothly and it makes sense because their language is just gibberish and clipped together audio clips. You can't animate that smoothly unless you spent an INSANE amount of time to animate their mouths incredibly smoothly to match the intentional gibberish and messy vocals. And you gotta do that for EVERY. CUTSCENE. IN. THE. STORY. MODE. That's why the developers just do the cheaper and simpler option to save on time, money and labour.

The "Plenty!" line in response to Shiver's "what is wrong with you?" Is most likely a reference to her quote on quote "airheaded" personality and a subtle nod at her putting the shades back on again and again.

Callie does seem to have mental health issues but it wasn't caused by some "brain warping evil shades oooo", it was due to various things prior to that. Waking up very early in the morning every single day and working non stop, getting harassed by paparazzi, being incredibly lonely and having a strained relationship with someone you used to care about would fuck up anyone's mental health and cause you to overthink and make bad decisions, like join the Octarians and end up wanting to adopt their ideals due to not wanting to go back to your old life and having to deal a fractured relationship with a family member that you think insulted you multiple times on live television, and those feelings and that darkness inside your heart get further amplified by hypnotic shades that cause the restraints in your head to finally break through. But i digress....

Another BIG issue with the fandom wiki is that it's not updated at all, it's extremely outdated, you can check for yourself, find your favorite Idol or character and see if they have the latest info on them, chances are, they don't.

Marina's page is missing Side Order information and new songs.

Shiver's is missing a LOT of gallery and Splatfest information. (No info on Suffer No Fools and "What would you do at world's end?" Splatfest)

Same with Frye. (Frye has the most up to date info on her Splatfest wins and loses yet Shiver doesn't? Huh?)

DJ Octavio's page spreads the incorrect narrative that he uses music to directly control Octarians which has been proven false.

Inkipedia gets it right by saying it's more like propaganda and military marches.

(Although i have my own personal issues with how sometimes Inkpedia talks about Hypno Callie but at least they bothered to include the god damn relationship chart in her page.)

Yeah the Splatoon fandom wiki is just.... bad man. it's awful. It's dogshit. Sometimes i see it as the top result when i search for characters and other Splatoon related content, i don't want casual fans and newcomers to go on that website which has false and outdated information. Please give all the support you can to Inkipedia. It's incredibly rich in information and updates fairly quickly. As a game wiki it's insanely well put together and one of the best wikis out there. It's amazing. If you want to do a wiki scroll and you're mildly interested in Splatoon then it's a great place to get lost for a while and spend some time in.

I just wanted to do a little ranting is all right now. I know that a large majority of people in the community don't like the fandom wiki and Inkipedia is superior by 10000000x but. I just wanted to rant a little. Get my thoughts out there. I'm too attached to a certain cephalopod woman to let poor information about her slide under the radar.

[generaltrashshecox]

Just something I want to say: I feel like we all shouldn't take blocking as an attack. Blocking is not an be all end all. I mean how many have personally block evaded? I personally block liberally for any reason. I don't know Damien personally but I know, as a person who is online, that a break will only work if you get rid of the reason, even just momentarily. Because even if you delete the app and log off you will have this nagging itch to check every five seconds and seeing emails about those notifs don't help. So I get him blocking. It was rash but not unforgivable. He fucked up. He's taking a break. I hope he's reflecting. I'm not gonna defend his fuck up cause that wasn't fair to come out of the gate as if it was an attack and not a call to accountability. But we're putting too much power in him blocking people.

Focus on the real problems which is speaking up about Palestine and the people stuck in Rafah as Israel continues its attack. Share resources, GoFundMe's, and anything you can to help. I will link the Operation Olive Branch linktree and a few others here cause I feel like that's what's best.

Do whatever you can to help even if it's just spread the word. From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free. Ceasefire now.

[liliesdiary]

hi love! could I please request a yan/dark!Aaron x reader where they’re best friends but after Eric and some other Alexandrians die, he becomes obsessive and protective, keeping reader locked in his home & forcing her to basically become a mother to Gracie? feel free to change anything you’d like. thank you so much!! 💕

Everything is going to be okay

Everything is going to be okay: Dark!Aaron/Yan!Aaron x You

Word Count: 1,400

Warnings: Stockholm syndrome, forced to be Gracie's caretaker/mom (Platonic) Yandere Aaron.

Note: sorry this took so long to write, this kind of turned more soft towards the end but I hope you like it , thank you for your request and patience <3

You and Aaron have been best friends since the start of the apocalypse, you were a survivor of the outbreak and sought shelter near Alexandria.

Aaron found you alone and in despair, and comforted you through your losses. Ever since then you and Aaron have been best friends, you hung out with him and Eric every day, but In the aftermath of the war with Negan, Alexandria was left reeling from the loss of so many loved ones. Among them was Eric, who had been shot and killed in the conflict. The tragedy hit Aaron hard, leaving him struggling to cope with his grief.

As time passed, Aaron found himself becoming increasingly possessive and paranoid about you. He couldn't bear the thought of losing anyone else, especially not you. One day, without warning, he locked you inside his house, claiming that you needed a break from the stresses of life for your mental and physical health.

You protested but it was no use. Aaron was never violent yet forced you to become his new child’s caretaker and you didn't know how to feel about it. He never let you out of the house unless he was there with you. He never let anyone else watch Gracie and felt paranoid when he was away from her, afraid of losing his little girl.

The days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months. You spent most of your time taking care of Gracie, feeding her, changing her diapers, and doing whatever else was necessary to keep his little girl healthy and happy. You were trapped in a world that had long since fallen apart, but you and Gracie clung to each other for comfort and survival.

As the days went on, Aaron's obsession with keeping you safe grew stronger. He would check on you constantly, making sure you were okay and hadn't tried to escape. He always made sure he was home on time for dinner to make sure you and Gracie were okay. You quickly became the mother role for his child and you fell in love with Gracie.

You understood his paranoia but the kind man you once knew had turned dark and cold. You often tried comforting him when he needed it, you reassured him that everything was going to be okay yet his thoughts couldn't stop haunting him. Eric’s death replayed in his mind every day and Aaron started hallucinating him. His hallucinations pushed him to exhaustion.

One late night you had just finished putting Gracie to bed. Aaron never came home for spaghetti, his favorite, and it started to worry you.

Ever since the war ended, Aaron had been working on the bridge. He was always on time and never liked staying out late when you and Gracie were home, but this time he was late. As hours passed by, your anxiety grew worse. The silence of the house amplified every creak of the floorboards and rustle of leaves outside.

You look around the house wondering if you should leave and ask around for him but then you hear a knock on your door that startles you. You rush to open the door expecting to see Aaron but instead it was Jesus with a worried expression on his face which made your heart drop.

“Is everything okay? Where's Aaron?” You ask with tears forming already.

“Aaron is okay but I have bad news. Aaron was injured while gathering the logs for the bridge and a log fell on his arm. The rot was starting to set it so Enid had to cut it off. He tried to leave his bed to rush over here but he collapsed. He's okay I swear, you can come with me in the morning to visit him. I can ask someone to take care of Gracie tomorrow.” Jesus reassures you with his crystal eyes.

You can't help but feel panicked, Aaron has always protected you and now he's hurt and you can't help but feel bad. You take a deep breath and gulp, “Thank you, Jesus. I'll try to get some rest and get ready for tomorrow.”

You shut the door and head back to your room, holding in your tears. It's okay. Just breathe. He's okay. You try to comfort yourself as you sleep on the ground next to Gracie’s crib. You calmed yourself as you watched her sleep gracefully, her breaths comforting you.

Hours pass by and the sun rises, you were feeding Gracie as a nice woman came in to babysit her. Aaron never trusted anyone else to babysit Gracie, you knew he was going to hate this but he needed you right now. You prepared the woman to watch Gracie as you packed your bags.

On your way to the camp where Aaron was staying, it was silent. All you heard were the horses hooves on the pavement of the road and the trees whispering as you rode by. You couldn't help but have tears forming in your eyes, knowing that Aaron has lost a hand. As you were tearing up, you saw a broken car piece on the floor.

It reminded you of the one time you and Aaron walked in this same road, Aaron was obsessed with completing his goal to collect a license plate from every state. One time he had found one from Oklahoma. Aaron was happy and you were teasing him about it, laughing as Aaron slipped on a broken car piece and fell on his ass. The happy memories kept you hopeful and your tears went away, everything is going to be okay.

You finally arrive at the camp on your horse. The camp was quiet and somber, everyone knew about Aaron's accident. You dismount your horse and tie it up before walking towards the makeshift hospital tent.

"Hey," Rick greeted you warmly, his voice filled with genuine worry. "How's Gracie doing? Did Jesus take care of her?"

You nodded, wiping away a stray tear from your eye. "She's fine, thanks for asking. I came as soon as I could.”

“Glad you could make it here safely,” Rick says as he leads you to Aaron's bed, “He couldn't sleep all night, kept asking for you.”

You try not to cry as you see Aaron’s amputated arm wrapped in a bloody bandage. You kneel at his side and turn to thank Rick, “Thank you, Rick.”

He gives you a nod and walks away, talking to other people. You look back at Aaron, tears forming in your eyes. He was asleep yet you could tell he was in a lot of pain, he was as pale as a ghost.

You gently touch his hair, climbing your fingers through his curls and whisper, “Rest, I'm here. Everything is going to be okay..”

You gently press your lips against his sweaty forehead and sit by his side, falling asleep in your chair. He slowly starts to wake up, looking at you snoring in your chair. He smiles and holds your hand, gently caressing it.

You felt his touch and woke up, Aaron smiles at you, still clearly in pain but happy to see his best friend. “How are you feeling?”, you ask.

Aaron's smile softened as he looked at you, his eyes filled with gratitude and love. "I'm okay," he said, though his voice was strained from the pain medications. "Thank you for coming to visit me but you should have stayed home with Gracie, I don't trust anyone else to watch her."

You try to reassure him, “You don't have to worry about her, Aaron. She's going to be okay, you need to learn how to be okay with that. You need rest, okay?”

Aaron sighed, his gaze lingering on your face. "I know," he said softly. "I just... I don't want anything to happen to you two. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if something happened to you two."

"Don't worry about me," you reassured him. "I'll take care of Gracie while you recover. She loves you so much."

A flicker of sadness passed over Aaron's face, but it quickly vanished. "She really does," he said, smiling again. "Thanks for taking care of her."

You squeezed his hand gently. "Anything for you two," you said. "And don't you dare try to do too much too soon. You need rest and recovery time.”

You give him another kiss on the forehead, his gaze softens and he smiles. “Rest.. I'll be here.” You sit by his bedside as he falls asleep, you hum a sweet lullaby to soothe his pains as you look at his arm. You whisper to yourself, Everything is going to be okay..

[astroyongie]

Why Do I Behave This Way ? - Psychology Answers

Note: we are finally to start another topic, this time with why do I behave this way. for this section we will go through the following questions: “Why Can't I Focus?”, “I Am Getting Old, Why Do I Keep Wanting Things?” “Usually I Am Well Behaved.. So Why Did I Lost My Temper?” “Why Do I Lie To People When They Ask Me Something?” “I Have Phobias: wWhat Can I Do?” “Last Week I Did Something Dangerous.. Why?” “Why Do I Keep Watching The Same Shows’” “Why Do I Embarrass Myself In Front Of Important People?"

“Why Can't I Focus?”

What happens in the unconscious brain: 

Everyone knows what attention is but few really knows how it works

In psychology, attention refers to the cognitive process of selectively concentrating on a discrete aspect of information, whether considered subjective or objective, while ignoring other perceivable information.

There’s several types of attention such as: sustained, selective, divided and alternating. 

The information received from our senses passes through the brain's processing system, but is weakened so that it can pass through the system at an unconscious level

Which is the reason we are able to do things without fully paying attention to it or through mechanical actions. Yet our subconscious is still able to visualize the entire information, it just processes it to keep the most important information. 

For example in some cases of Autism Spectrum Disorder, their brain/subconscious is unable to filter the information which makes them sensitive to stimulus and more aware of their environment. 

To resume it all, our attention is a dynamic and competitive system. During the processing of information, our attention amplifies some information while inhibiting others. 

To the question, why can't I focus, can have several answers. Anxiety and other psychological disorders or symptoms can have an impact on the brain processing system,  but the most common known impact is screen time 

The problem with screen time, such as phones or laptops or tv, it's the fact that they put all the things that attract attention together in a practical package, and add some addictive brain chemicals for fun.

One can be more sensitive when looking through a phone. you are receiving a text and your brain’s attention focuses on that.  After the text, you will see other notifications and this process is proven to have the same effect than opiates drugs have. 

Of course the process of focusing can also have other origins and will depend on your health and your environmental factors around you. 

If you are interested in more of these topics you can check the works of Broadbent, Cherry, Skinner, Treisman and Helmholtz as they have the best insight on attention and perception theories in psychology and neurology.

So what can we do?

The first thing we can do is try to understand why it is causing us to lose focus. Is it the screen time? Is it an underlying medical condition? Is it your emotions? are there any other bio-environmental factors? by pointing out what is causing the trouble, we can start working on it

We humans, we possess a limited quantity of attention and thus it's important to try and care for it the best we can

Some solutions can be used to try and regain focus on your everyday tasks such as: limiting screen time, using a reward recompense system with your causes of losing focus, setting boundaries and limits to when and where to use screen time, helo through medication and/or therapy depending on each one case 

You can also re-learn to stay focus. For that you can start doing simple activities like: studying (without screen time), reading, practicing yoga or meditation, playing board games or doing cognitive exercises specialized in attention. 

Now, you know where to work to become a better version of yourself