#american planning is so fucked on such a large scale that changing it would require unanimous bipartisan support (lol)

[pocket-mobster]

its been not even 36 hours since i was accepted to yet another college and ive already been made aware of multiple Networking Opportunities in my Field Of Interest which is like cool or something except im literally just trying to get a bachelor's degree in case my much cooler dream of being a full-time haunt actor fails and i have to resort to getting a "real job". that's not to say i won't at least look into those opportunities; i'll just be considering them while pondering the ever-growing feeling that this is the beginning of the end of something that was never going to happen in the first place. oh yeah! mario time!

[hazardville]

Fuck You Facebook

So, in case anyone’s seeing this without coming here from my Facebook: Facebook removed this post because it was flagged as spam.  I’m preserving it here because this information should be shared and Facebook’s attempts to obscure the sharing of health information should be condemned, widely and publicly.  Enjoy. This is a long post addressing two underlying issues with the current response to the pandemic that leave me concerned.   It’s the longest post I’ve ever written.  The Medium version of this post (link below) has been viewed 1.2M in less than the last 24 hours as of 3/17/20. For those of you not taking action, or believing the pandemic to be “over hyped”, you can make fun of me as much as you want now or when this is over.  You can make me the subject of memes and post it everywhere.  I will pose for the picture.  I am not trying to convince you, but I do feel compelled to share information that I deem critical to all of us, which is why I am posting this at all. WHY YOU SHOULD TAKE 5 MINUTES TO READ AND CONSIDER THE INFORMATION I AM SHARING: As of 3/15/20 at 9 am PST this post has been shared over 50k times since it was posted 2 days ago.  So a lot of people find value in the post and although it's a long read, I believe you will find this information valuable too. For those of you who don’t know me well, I am analytical and metered.  I don’t freak out nor do I respond emotionally.  I also don’t post a bunch of bullshit or political or controversial stuff on Facebook.  I founded and am CEO of a successful software company that provides SaaS based data, analytics, and dashboards to recruiting departments at companies we all know.  As you would expect, I am data driven and fact based.  Before founding my company I held executive roles leading very large recruiting teams at some of the world's fastest growing companies such as Starbucks and Google.  At Google I was fortunate enough to report to Sheryl Sandberg before she took the Facebook COO role.  I was a Chemical Engineering major in college and have a business degree from a top undergraduate business school.  I am not one for hyperbole or histrionics.  My bullshit factor is close to zero. I share all this personal information only to help solidify that this post may be worth reading and sharing with others. I would encourage you to forward or share this post at your discretion.  Many people do not understand what is happening with the pandemic to the degree required which is why I took the time to write this and share this on Facebook. Now that I've gotten the introduction out of the way, here are two issues I want to bring to everyone’s attention.   ISSUE ONE:  SOCIAL NORMS ARE POWERFUL MOTIVATORS AND GETTING IN THE WAY OF PEOPLE TAKING THE RIGHT STEPS IN RESPONSE TO THE PANDEMIC:   One of the current problems with addressing the pandemic is the social pressures of taking action today. It's awkward, and feels like an over-reaction. The reason it feels like an overreaction is that most people OVERWEIGHT the currently reported cases and inherently UNDERWEIGHT the mathematics of how the virus is spreading and what will happen in about 30 days time. This is because our brains tend to think linearly as opposed to logarithmically.  It’s the same reason many people don’t save for retirement or understand compound interest.   To create a new social norm, human beings like to see behavior modeled. This serves as a signal that says, “oh, someone else is doing it so I should do it also.”   SO HERE IS A SOCIAL BENCHMARK FOR REFERENCE - THIS IS WHAT I’VE DONE FOR MY FAMILY TO DATE: I have already isolated my family. We have canceled EVERYTHING. We have canceled previously scheduled doctor visits.  Social get togethers.  No play dates.  Normal routine meetings.  Everything has been canceled.   It's difficult and socially awkward. Some of you think I’m crazy, but I’m doing it not because I am afraid, but because I am good at math (more on that in part 2).  I had to have my 16 year old daughter quit her job coaching junior gymnasts at the local gym, with one day’s notice and also tell my kids they can't attend youth group at church. Both of those were tough discussions.  I told a very close friend he shouldn’t stay at my house this weekend even though he was planning to and had booked his flight from the Bay Area.  I canceled another dear friend’s visit for later this month to go snowboarding on Mt Bachelor. We are not eating out.  Our kids are already doing online school so we don’t have to make changes there.  I would not send my kids to school even if they were in public or private school.  We have eliminated all non-essential contact with other people.  We will only venture out to grocery shop when required.  We will still go outside to parks, go mountain biking, hiking, and recreate to keep ourselves sane and do other things as a family, just not with other people.  We have stocked up on food and have a supply for ~2 months.  We have stocked up on other goods that if depleted would create hardship, like medicines and feminine hygiene products.  We have planned for shortages of essential items. THE REASON I HAVE CHOSEN THIS ROUTE FOR MY FAMILY IS MULTI FACETED: 1.    Although my family is considered low risk (I’m 49 in good health, Angi is 46 and in good health, and our kids are 14 and 16), we must assume that the healthcare system cannot help us, because the hospitals will become overwhelmed very quickly.  Most American hospitals will become overwhelmed in approximately 30 days unless something changes.   More on this in part 2 below.  So although we are in great health and unlikely to become gravely ill, the risk is greater if you do not have access to the medical care that you need.  This is something for everyone to consider.  As a society we are accustomed to having access to the best medical care available.  Our medical system will be overwhelmed unless we practice social distancing at scale.  That said, the medical teams in Italy are seeing an alarming number of cases from people in their 40s and 50s.  Triage tents are already going up in the parking lots at many hospitals close to the epicenters in the United States. 2.    It’s not a matter of if social distancing will take place, it’s a matter of when.  This is because social distancing is the only way to stop the virus today.   As I will explain in part 2 below, starting now is FAR more effective than starting even 2 days from now or tomorrow. This has been proven by Italy and China (and soon to be France and other European countries who have been slow to respond.) [updated as of 3/14 France is now on lockdown mandated by the government].  Wuhan went on lockdown after roughly 400 cases were identified (and they had access to testing that America has systematically failed to do well to date).  The US already has more than 4 times this number of known infected cases as Wuhan did when it was shut down, and our citizens are far more mobile and therefore spreading the virus more broadly when compared to Wuhan.  Yet our response is tepid at best.   If hand washing and “being smart” were sufficient Italy would not be in crisis.  So I pray the draconian measures are coming from our government, because they are required to stop the spread of the virus.   It’s better to start sooner than later as the cost is actually far greater if we wait.  I pray they close all schools and non-essential services the way that Italy and China have done. 3.    Spreading the virus puts those in the high-risk category at much greater risk.  This is the moral argument.  It’s a strong argument because there are only two ways, as of today, that the virus can be stopped:   let it run its course and infect 100s of millions of people, or social distancing.  There is no other way today.  If you don’t practice social distancing, people downstream from you that you transmit the virus to will die, and many will suffer. 4.    The risk of infection is increasing exponentially, because the quantity of infected people, most who will not show symptoms, is doubling every three days.  So the longer you wait to self-isolate, the greater the chance of you or someone you love becoming infected and then you infecting others because more of the population is becoming infected.  There are twice as many infected people today as there was on Tuesday. 5.    The virus is already in your town.  It’s everywhere.  Cases are typically only discovered when someone gets sick enough to seek medical attention.  This is important as it typically takes ~5 days to START showing ANY symptoms.  Here’s the math:  For every known case there are approximately 50 unknown cases.  This is because if I become sick, I infect several people today, and they infect a few people each tomorrow (as do I), and the total count of infected people doubles every 3 days until I get so sick I get hospitalized or get tested and become a “known case”.  But in the time it takes me to figure out I am sick 50 others downline from me now have the virus.  So every third day the infection rate doubles until I get so sick that I realize I have the virus an am hospitalized or otherwise tested.  Harvard and Massachusetts General Hospital estimate that there are 50x more infections than known infections as reported (citation below).  The implication of this is that the virus is already “everywhere” and spreading regardless if your city has zero, few or many reported cases.  So instead of the 1573 reported known cases today there are likely 78,650 cases, at least, in the United States.  Which will double to 157,300 by this Sunday.  And this will double to 314,600 cases by this coming Wednesday.  So in less than 1 week the number of total infected in the United States will quadruple.  This is the nature of exponential math.  It’s actually unfortunate that we are publishing the figures for known cases as it diverts attention away from more important numbers (like the range of estimated actual cases).  [Update as of 3/15/20 - I've been sent more research that may add clarity to the ACTUAL cases vs CONFIRMED cases and will update this post with any conclusions] 6.  Some people cannot, or will not, practice social distancing for a variety of reasons and will continue to spread the virus to many people.  So everyone else must start today.   The reasons above are why I have begun to practice social distancing.   It’s not easy.  But you should do it too. The hospitals will be at capacity and there are not enough ventilators. You will hear a lot about this issue in the coming few weeks... the shortage of ventilators. ISSUE TWO:  MANY PEOPLE ARE FOCUSED ON THE WRONG NUMBERS: Yes, the virus only kills a small percentage of those afflicted.  Yes, the flu kills 10s of thousands of people annually.  Yes, 80% of people will experience lightweight symptoms with COVID19.  Yes the mortality rate of COVID19 is relatively low (1-2%).  All of this true, but is immaterial.  They are the wrong numbers to focus on...   The nature of exponential math is that the infection rates start slowly, and then goes off like a bomb and overwhelms the hospitals. You will understand this math clearly in the next section if you do the short math exercise.  Evergreen hospital in Seattle is already in triage. I have heard credible reports from people on the ground that they are already becoming overwhelmed.  And the bomb won't really go off for a few more days.  Probably by Wednesday, March 18th (next week).  In just a few days from now we will hear grave reports from Seattle hospitals.   [update as of 3/15/20 - see the comments section below for an update from a staff member at Evergreen Hospital in Kirkland, WA] You should assume the virus is everywhere at this point, even if you have no confirmed cases in your area. YOU SHOULD DO THIS SIMPLE 2 MINUTE MATH EXERCISE (NO REALLY TAKE TWO MINUTES AND DO IT): To further understand exponential growth, take the number of confirmed cases in your area and multiply by 10 (or 50 if you believe Harvard and Massachusetts General estimations) to account for the cases that are not yet confirmed. If you have no confirmed cases choose a small number.   I’d suggest 10 cases in your city, if no cases are yet reported.  But you can use whatever number you like.  This number of infected people doubles every ~3 days as the infection spreads. So literally take your number, and multiply by 2. Then do it again. Then do it again. Then do it again. Do this multiplication exercise 10 times in total. 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x (the number of estimated infections in your city today (not just the reported cases)).   This result is the estimate for the actual cases in your area 30 days from now.  The math will take 30 seconds to complete with a calculator and it’s worth doing the math to see how it grows.  This end number is the number of cases in your city 30 days from today if a large percentage of the population do not practice social distancing.   2 to the 10th power is 1024.  When something doubles 10 times, it's the same as multiplying by 1024.  The infection rate of the virus doubles every 3 days.  In thirty days there will be 1,024 times the number of infected people in your area as there is today if your community does not immediately put social distancing into practice.  One thousand and twenty four times as many infected people as there is today, in just 30 days.   Next, divide the final number (the scary big one) you just calculated by the current population of your city and you will be able to get the percentage of people THAT YOU KNOW PERSONALLY who will be infected 30 days from now.   Next take 15% (multiply by 0.15) of that final 30 day number of total infected people (the number you calculated by multiplying by 2 ten times). This will provide an estimate of the serious cases which will require hospitalization, and compare it to the number of beds and ventilators available at your local hospital.  Google the "number of beds" and the name of your local hospital now.  It takes 2 seconds and the number of beds is easy to find.  65% of beds are already occupied by patients unrelated to the coronavirus.  St Charles in Bend, Oregon where I live, has 226 beds and the town is roughly 100,000 people.  Most hospitals have on average, 40 or fewer ventilators.  5% of patients require ICU treatment.  There are very few ICU beds compared to regular beds in hospitals.  There are very few negative pressure areas in any hospital to deal with the containment of airborne diseases.   These numbers you just calculated are the Big Problem:  Too many patients, not enough beds, and a serious shortage of ventilators (the biggest problem) if we don't immediately begin social distancing.  More on this biggest problem related to the insufficient quantity of ventilators is below. COUNTRIES THAT GET OVERWHELMED WILL HAVE A MUCH GREATER MORTALITY RATE BECAUSE THEY WON’T BE ABLE TO ADEQUATELY CARE FOR THE SICK.   And by sick I mean not just coronavirus patients.  Your son or daughter that needs acute care surgery this May for his badly broken leg will be attended to by an orthopedic doctor that has been working at maximum capacity and working 18 hour shifts for 7 days every week for 6 weeks because it was required to care for all the coronavirus patients at her hospital.  Or the orthopedic surgeon will be sick with the virus and your son or daughter will be operated on in a tent in the hospital parking lot by a non-expert or a member of the National Guard.  Your elderly Mom that has diabetes and goes into acute distress next month may not receive ANY medical care because the doctors are consumed and have to prioritize patients based on triage guidelines based on success rate probabilities.  Your sibling’s family that are all injured in a terrible car crash in June will have diminished care.  If one of them needs a ventilator there will be none available because all of them will be in use by critical coronavirus patients.  Your young friend with cancer and a compromised immune system from treatment will succumb even though the cancer was curable and the treatment was working, because their body was too fragile to combat the coronavirus due to the chemotherapy and they couldn't receive the customized, acute care required due to the hospital being overwhelmed.  All of the above is currently happening in Italy, who had the same number of infections we have today just 2 weeks ago.  You must start social distancing today. The count of actual virus infections doubles every ~3 days. The news and government agencies are lagging in their response. So we hear that the US only has 1573 cases today (3/12/20) [update as of 3/15/20:  3115 confirmed cases), ( see https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/) and it doesn't seem like a lot.  It would be better to report the estimated actual cases, since reported cases don’t tell us much.  However, we know from China that the actual number of cases are at least an order of magnitude greater than the reported cases, because people get infected and do not display symptoms.  In math, an "order of magnitude" means ten times difference, or put another way, a factor of 10.  100 is 10 times greater than 10, so it's an order of magnitude greater.   Harvard Medical School / Massachusetts General Hospital just released their estimate (recording is here:   https://externalmediasite.partners.org/Mediasite/Play/53a4003de5ab4b4da5902f078744435a1d) that the actual cases are 50x greater than the reported cases.  So we likely have 75,000 cases in the United States already.  The number of reported cases is not that important. But let’s assume the current number of cases is only 10,000 ACTUAL cases in the United States just to be conservative and model out what will happen: If we don’t stop the virus from spreading, in 30 days we will have 2 to the 10th power more cases of infected people because the infection count doubles every 3 days (the virus doubles every 3 days and there are 10, 3 day periods in 30 days).   The math: 2 to the 10th power means 1,024 times as many cases as we have today (2 times 2 repeated 10 times).   This number is a catastrophically big problem for all of us:  We will have 10 million+ actual cases (10,000 actual cases today x 1,024) in the United States in just 30 days’ time if we continue without extreme social distancing.  10 million people with the virus.  And it will keep doubling every 3 days unless we practice social distancing. 15% of cases require significant medical attention, which means that 1.5 million people will require significant medical attention if 10 million people get infected (15% of 10 Million total infections = 1.5 million people requiring hospitalization).   1.5 million hospitalizations is way more than we have beds for at hospitals in the United States.  And 65% of all beds are already occupied in our hospitals.  But many patients (5%) with the virus need ICU beds, not just any old hospital bed.  Only about 10% of hospital beds are considered intensive care beds.  So we will have a huge bed shortage, but that is not the biggest problem, as we can erect temporary ICU shelters and bring in more temporary beds, as Italy has already done, and California and Washington hospitals have already done.   Evergreen Hospital in Seattle has already erected temporary triage tents in the parking lot as of 3/13/20.  All regular beds are full at Evergreen Hospital as of yesterday. Once the government of China, Norway, and Italy came to understand this math, they reacted accordingly and shut EVERYTHING down.  [update as of 3/15/20 now France has done the same lockdown]. Extreme social distancing is the only response available to stop the virus today.  The United States is not responding well nor are other countries like  the UK.  Countries that do not respond well will pay a much larger, catastrophic price. But hospital beds are not the big problem.  The lack of ventilators is the big problem.  Most estimates peg the ventilators in the United States at roughly 100,000 to 150,000 units.  See the study from last month: http://www.centerforhealthsecurity.org/resources/COVID-19/200214-VentilatorAvailability-factsheet.pdf The primary and most serious comorbid (comorbid is a medical term that means co-existing or happening at the same time) condition brought on by the Coronavirus is something called bilateral interstitial pneumonia which requires ventilators for treatment of seriously ill patients.  So if 1.5M people of the 10 million infected 30 days from now require hospital care (15% of the 10M estimated total infections), 1.3M may not get the care that they need because we don’t have enough ventilators, beds, and ICU beds in the United States.  And remember, this is only if ALL OF US EFFECTIVELY start social distancing by April 11th (30 days from today).  This increases the mortality rate significantly. BUT IF WE START EXTREME SOCIAL DISTANCING BY MARCH 23 (12 days from original writing), WE AVOID OVER 1.4 MILLION PEOPLE GETTING CRITICALLY ILL AND OVERWHELMING THE HOSPITALS: If everyone takes extreme measures to social distance, and the United States can dramatically reduce the spread of the virus 12 days from now, the math is very different, as the exponential growth will only be 2 to the 4th power (12 days divided by the doubling rate of every 3 days equals the exponent of 4): 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 = 16 So instead of 10 Million cases in the United States if we wait 30 days, if we act 18 days sooner, we will have only 160,000 cases (16 times the estimated 10,000 actual cases as of today), of which 15% are likely to require hospitalization.  This is 24,000 critical patients (a huge difference compared to 1.5 million acute patients).   The difference between taking extreme measures now, versus waiting even a few days, is very large due to how exponents work in math. THE OUTCOME IS EVEN BETTER IF WE TAKE ACTION IN THE NEXT 6 DAYS:  If the vast majority of the population self isolates and implements social distancing in only 6 days from now the exponential math is 2 to the 2nd power (6 days divided by the 3 days it takes the virus to double means the exponent is only 2).  In math this is "two squared". 2 x 2 = 4   Multiplied by the estimated 10,000 ACTUAL cases as of today (3/12/20) that means only 40,000 total cases will develop, 15% of which may be critical which is 6,000 critical patients. This is why you should share this post broadly.  If people begin social distancing in the next 6 days it will greatly reduce the impact on all of us.  It's why they say a "post goes viral". SOCIAL DISTANCING WILL REDUCE THE FINANCIAL IMPACT TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY: Finally, the longer everyone waits to practice significant social distancing the greater the economic hardship will be on all of us.  Lost jobs.  Mortgage defaults.  Closed businesses.  Bankruptcies.   All will be minimized if you start social distancing today. Some of the reasons the economic impacts will be reduced are worth mentioning:  If we stop the virus now the overall duration of the outbreak will be far shorter.  The stock market will normalize more quickly and recover more quickly.  Businesses and people will be able to survive a shorter duration outbreak vs a longer duration outbreak.   More companies will avoid bankruptcy if we begin to practice social distancing now. This is a big financial reason to begin social distancing if you are employed by any company:  if companies see that the virus is being slowed, they will be less likely to conduct layoffs.  You will be more likely to be laid off or experience a job-related event if we don’t practice social distancing immediately.  As an HR executive, I’ve been involved in many, many layoffs.  It’s the last thing companies want to do.  But if they see that the pandemic will be shorter lived vs long and drawn out, they are less likely to make the permanent decision of laying off staff. The overall economic impact that hits your bank account will be greater if you wait or you don’t practice social distancing.   This is why Norway acted now, because it’s less economic impact to take drastic measures early than to do them later, and it saves a lot of lives and suffering by doing so.  And Norway has only one confirmed death as of this writing.   Many people have suggested they want to support local restaurants and other businesses, who have seen sales drop by 50-90%.  Stopping by and visiting them won't save them.  What will save them is social distancing and what you do after the pandemic is over.  If you are concerned, call them and buy a gift certificate over the phone. START TODAY.  I CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH.  YOU MUST START TODAY.   Finally, the article that I posted yesterday written by Tomas Pueyo has been read 30M times in the last few days and has been updated with new information.  It’s worth reading again. Here’s that link.   https://medium.com/@tomaspueyo/coronavirus-act-today-or-people-will-die-f4d3d9cd99ca Other up to date data I frequently consult regarding the pandemic is here: https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/ I hope this is helpful and useful.  My brain focuses on the math and I try and be fact based in my analysis and interpretation of how I should respond. THERE IS MORE INFORMATION IN THE COMMENTS BELOW WORTH READING AND I WILL BE UPDATING THIS POST, AND THE COMMENTS, WITH MORE INFORMATION, (AS OPPOSED TO CREATING NEW POSTS). MY FINAL PARTING THOUGHT:  Please share or forward this post at your discretion.   If everyone shares this post and two of your friends share this post and so on, we use the power of exponential math to work in our favor, which seems appropriate given the virus is using that same exponential math against us.   HOW YOU CAN REALLY HELP:  If you know people who have large numbers of followers, or people in the media, please leverage your personal relationship with them and ask them to amplify this post by sharing it or the Medium Post (link below)   For people not on Facebook you can email or text the link.   It would be useful to get the post on Twitter and LinkedIn by sharing the Medium post.  If you know people in government this fact-based post may help inform them to make the best decisions.   It's time for us humans to go on the offensive against the virus.  We must fight back.   There is only one way to do so:  Social Distancing.   Do it today. NOTE:  Anyone, including the media, is free to use this post, any related content, in all or in part, for any purpose, in any format, with no attribution required. Please direct message me if you have other ideas for how to raise awareness. Finally, I can no longer keep up with friend requests given how much this post has been shared.  To receive updates or follow me, please use the "Follow" button on Facebook.   3/16/20:  I am preparing a second post, now that 4 days have gone by since the first post. To receive it please follow me on FB.  I can not keep up with the friend requests. https://medium.com/@Jason_Scott_Warner/the-sober-math-everyone-must-understand-about-the-pandemic-2b0145881993 https://www.facebook.com/jason.scott.warner/posts/10163742243430144

[gospacegay]

LRTIHEW: Part One

The title stands for “Longest Rusame Thing I Have Ever Written”. I have been writing it for a very long time and have no idea what to name it anymore. I will post extra chapters when formatting isn’t being a cruel mistress. I will leave reference links for previous chapters. Enjoy some creepy Ivan!

There is swearing, fluff, eventual smut, insanity, and lord knows what else.

American politics could be so volatile, yet entertaining. No one had expected such a sharp change in Alfred's disposition after the American elections. Granted, the happy blonde was mildly affected by his frequent leader changes. But never had the blue eyed blonde seemed so calm and collected before at a world meeting. Normally he was sleeping or bouncing off the walls with stupid ideas.

Ivan, the immortal symbol of Russia, watched with immense interest. He was curious as Alfred wore a trademark Hollywood smile, not listening to the current speaker like usual. Canada's speech about a political trend towards extreme bipartisanship was ignored by most anyway. Russia jotted down the highlights, only pretending disinterest. He loved to make the nearly invisible country squirm like that.

Royal purple eyes swept back to Alfred, surprised to lock with beautiful blue. The younger seemed to be sizing him up, analyzing the taller ash blonde nation. Finally his real smile showed through. The expression existed only a short time but it was so warm. Alfred then resumed dissecting the rest of the room with his eyes, being noticeably more subtle than usual.

Happy to see his plucky American scheming much like himself, Ivan returned to the same hobby. When the meeting finally ended, Ivan trailed behind. He could hear Alfred arguing hotly with his former motherland in the hall outside. “I'm fine. Leave my leaders to me, Arthur!” the loud mouthed American yelled, stomping off somewhere. “Boy, you don't know what mess you're in now!” Arthur rebutted, always wanting the last word.

Ivan used extreme stealth, trailing a hall away from Alfred at all times. He was very good at it despite his towering height and renowned strength. When the distress American slipped into an office alone, Ivan followed. He closed the frosted glass door noisily, his form of an introduction. Alfred whipped around in alarm, then slumped his shoulders. It was an discovery to see him relax now of all times.

“Oh thank god it's you big guy. Thought it was someone scary!” Alfred greeted teasingly. Taken aback by the younger nation's genial tone, Ivan's false smile changed to a flat hard line. Something was definitely going on. He wasn't sure what to say now, the usual hostile string of insults no longer suitable as an opener.

“Going the quiet route huh? I can respect that. Leaves me more room to talk,” Alfred started, dropping into the luxury office chair. The whole office was quite nice, probably belonging to a German politician of some sort. “You know, I've been thinking. These past 16 years... I know my leaders have been jokes. I know. But I'm really tired of being a living joke? You know?” he continued, frowning.

It was true. The past four American presidents had been international disasters. From drunk social media posts to 'losing' deadly missiles, each term had been a fumble. Ivan didn't envy the internal economic damage his former enemy was surely suffering.

This serious and unhappy aura, it didn't suit Alfred at all. “I understand, little America. It is over twenty five years since my soviet fall, but I am joke of the whole world.” Ivan replied honestly. There was no risk to truth, he decided. Ever since the elections, Alfred hadn't called him a communist once. It was a pleasant change from the tired rhetoric. Perhaps he was finally maturing?

“It's nice... just talking to you. No bullshit.” the honey blonde sighed, reclining a bit. Ivan hummed in agreement, not sure how to proceed. He dealt with international rage, ridicule, and doubt well. Having civil conversations not tainted by sarcasm was something Ivan was not well versed in. These past few decades had been hell for foreign relations.

The silence was killed by America's own anthem for a ring tone. He looked at the display screen, visibly cringed, then answered the cell phone. “All American awesome speaking.” he greeted cheerfully. His forcibly light attitude dropped instantly as he rubbed his temples. “Yes, boss. I understand.” he mumbled. A minute later, he continued “Of course. I'll take care of it. Just don't say anything yet.” he sighed, hanging up after. Ivan intimately understood the look of frustration after being chewed out by superiors. America wore it with resignation, covering his face with both hands.

“FUCK!” Alfred cursed suddenly, startling Ivan. “I have to go, but maybe we can hang out sometime.” the younger nation offered casually, winking at him mischievously. He ran off without waiting for a response. Ivan wouldn't have known what to say anyway. Sure, he had dozens of practiced and sardonic responses. Normally, that was all that was required with the rashly stupid American. This civility and distant kindness was boggling. What did he want now? What game were they playing?

Three weeks later, Ivan decided to test the limits of the informal offer. He wanted to get away from work for a few days anyway. The price of oil was a mess right now and his grossly incompetent officials were blaming him for the short fall, as usual. The nine hour flight to Washington, DC, was mind numbing. Russia instantly regretted not bringing some nice literature from his own culture.

By the time the plane landed in the United States of America, jet lag was starting to take it's toll. Ivan blinked heavily during the taxi ride, the driver glancing back in concern. The burly Russian glared back with a silent promise of violence. The cabby was suddenly less curious, looking fearfully pale. Good boy.

Alfred's Washington home was easily one of his oldest, and his most sentimental. It was a small white colonial house with normal proportions and a second story. It was quaint in comparison to some of the mansions in other states. Due it being three in the morning, there was no point in ringing the door bell. Like Ivan would ever do that anyway. There was no challenge to it!

He scanned the building dimly lit orange by old street lamps. The sly ash blonde could scale the sides and get in through a window. Not only would it be test of acrobatics, but it would scare Alfred. That was a worth while deal. Rubbing his hands together, Ivan spotted a lone sunflower on the southern style veranda. Abandoning his plan, Ivan jogged over to the patio. Oh beautiful flower, who could leave you to suffer? Scooping up the single bloom lovingly, he noticed a large paper tag tied to the robust stem. He read the tiny looping writing immediately.

'I know you want to get through a window or a toilet or whatever, but I left a key. There's no way in hell you're wrecking my siding again.'

Oh, yes. Ivan had forgot about the last time he broke in. He was doing something lithe and graceful, but a window sill gave under his great weight. A large chunk of siding fell with him. Not one of his best feats of athleticism. Still, to be given a key... It completely sucked the fun out of breaking and entering.

Begrudgingly, the Russian looked around for this 'key'. Maybe there would be riddles or tricks to solve. The pale nation adored puzzles and mind games. Ivan huffed, unimpressed at once. He could see a fake rock for holding keys from the veranda. It wasn't even the right color to blend in with the soil. Popping open the plastic 'rock', there was a key with a gold star sticker on it. Wondering if the gold star was a reference to his soviet era, Ivan tried it on the front door.

It worked, the door swinging open silently on oiled hinges. Once inside, Ivan locked it shut and quietly padded around. Exploring the kitchen, he found muffins. They were raspberry, his favorite. Eating one, he explored the rest of the place. Alfred's gun cabinets, all six of them, were looking well stocked like usual. His overflowing movie collection was heaped around the big screen television in the main room. Upstairs was a poorly locked war planning room, a bathroom, and three bedrooms. Having broken in and memorized these places before, Ivan skipped them. He entered what he knew to be Alfred's bedroom, not caring about personal invasion in the slightest.

America looked so tired as he slept. Ivan was glad to he wasn't the only one being dragged down by crashing oil prices. The global market was quite stressed at the moment. Placing the sunflower on the huge oak dresser, Ivan rubbed his eyes. A soft yawn ripped out of him, confirming the obvious. Dumping his small bag of clothes in a corner, Ivan made himself comfortable beside Alfred. Not only was his bed the softest, it would weird out the American until he sputtered like a fish. Making his former foe overreact and make a idiot of himself was hugely entertaining.

Wondering if he should set small traps and pranks around the house, Ivan lay down in his travel clothes. It probably wasn't worth the effort to set traps. Alfred was very skilled at disarming them. Russia could get the same result from less effort by playing mind tricks and moving around furniture. Scheming happily, Ivan drifted off.

It was a terrible screech, like a surprised chicken. Ivan couldn't recall hearing that sound in a very long time. Cracking open one eye, he spotted the thing that wretched him from sleep. His pillow was actually America, in full freak out mode. Oh, what a treat. A sleeping companion and mobile entertainment.

“Fuckin' Christ! What are you doing here?” Alfred squawked. Apparently Ivan draped an arm around the other in his sleep, so might as well run with it. “Oh, so you don't remember? We had so much fun too.” he teased, looking smug. Letting the younger nation assume the worst, Ivan watched as Alfred rolled out of bed. Oh, nothing but NASA boxers. That was just adorable. Perhaps Ivan could tease him about it mercilessly during a meeting.

“Take a picture! It'll last longer asshole!” The tanned blonde snarled, picking himself up off the floor. “You are such a hospitable host! I will take a picture.” Ivan replied happily, digging his phone out of a pocket. Two blurry pictures later, the American had fled to the bathroom. Already not bored. Visiting another country had been a great idea.

[solohux]

solohux’s May fic favourites ✿

IGNORE THE LATENESS!

–> Our Apartment by @foryoursakegeneral ♡ Hux Comes home. (daddy kink, adhd kylo, domestic cuteness)

–> Nursing/Lactating by Winklepicker ♡ Hux has six-nipples, porn happens. That’s pretty much it. (milk play, a very lovely fic if you like these kinks!)

–> Accidentally On Purpose by @onewhositswithturtles ♡ Kylo has been harboring feelings for his uptight boss, Hux, over the last year but said nothing for fear of getting fired. Unfortunately one night Kylo’s friends get him drunk and Kylo decides Hux should see what he’s missing, and texts Hux a dick pic. The next morning when Hux tells Kylo to come to his office after work, Kylo has no idea what to expect. (modern au, bottom hux, a great pining scenario with brilliant smut!)

–> Haunted Soldier by @vadianna ♡ After spending two years completing his training, Kylo Ren comes home to the Finalizer.  He has planned and plotted every instant of his reunion with Hux, and a large part of that centers on Hux’s reactions to the scars he gained at Starkiller.Or: Rough sex on a big desk.Or: Overconfident Kylo Ren takes advantage of feelings. (bottom kylo, tagged as pwp but it’s the best pwp i’ve read in a long while)

–> For His General by @cosleia ♡ Dopheld Mitaka is a loyal officer of the First Order. Loyal to the cause and loyal to his general. And it’s up to him to save General Hux from Kylo Ren. (jealous mitaka, pining, some goooood hux & mitaka feels with a soft domestic kylux feel!)

–> Family Secrets by @rannystuffandthings ♡ Hux receives an invitation from his father to bring Kylo to Arkanis to “celebrate” their engagement. Things go as well as Hux assumed they would. (tw homophobia, lots of gorgeous protective kylo)

–> To Each of Us, Our Own Assigned Delusion by @vadianna ♡ The First Order Personnel Counseling Hotline is staffed by sensitivity officers well-trained in dealing with personal issues that arise during service to the First Order, including struggles with worthiness, conflicts with other employees, and even doubts about loyalty.  If you need to talk, they’ll be available for a live conversation during any shift.A mysterious caller manages to find personal issues that they were not trained to deal with.  Specifically, because everyone in the Order is given the same basic sex ed classes at the same time.  There is incredulity and hard feelings on both sides. (sex ed, awkward virgin kylo, kylo talks to the First Order’s Sexual Health Q&A Hotline and oh my god you’ll laugh at his one, it’ll brighten your day!)

–> Oversimulated by @saltandlimes ♡ Hux first notices exactly what that problem is when he’s a lieutenant on his first cruise. There are a limited number of people to fuck. Hux makes inappropriate use of the stormtrooper training simulations. Kylo likes to watch. (voyeurism, kylo touching himself to the sound & sight of hux having sex, so hot you’ll fucking blush!!!!)

–> Confrontation by @omega-hux ♡  Kylo finally says something worthy of retribution. (arguing, you’ll want to wrap hux up in cotton wool after reading this the poor baby)

–> Join by TrashBinKrem ♡ Kylo didn’t play fair, and it’s been eating Hux up. Now it all comes to a climax. (groping & kissing, a beautiful smutty scene with lots of feels)

–> Leverage by @ballvvasher ♡  Hux, tense one evening, coms for a massage droid but accidentally sends it to Kylo instead. (bottom hux, dirty talk, lots of filth & it’s paced so well, if you like smutty fics then you’ll love this!)

–> Off Limits by @verybadhedgehog ♡  Military man of twinky appearance, previously stereotyped as a bottom, meets annoying xeno-experienced frot evangelist telepath, is persuaded to be less sexually self-denying. Jizz everywhere, job’s a good ‘un. (non-penetrative sex, kylo makes hux feel good and it’s unlike anything i’ve read, this is a stunning fic)

–> Pleated Skirts & Perverts by neptune_bound ♡ Ren has a talented mouth, and Hux appreciates it maybe too much. (hux has a skirt on & kylo eats his ass, a++++++ fic)

–> cry baby by @princessfuckingleiaorgana ♡ Hux orders Kylo to get lost, Kylo obeys. (break-up, lots of angst but a good type of hurt!)

–> you know I’d be so grateful if you’d come to relieve my stress by @agoodflyting ♡ housewife hux is unsatisfied with his sex life, so he decides to seduce the strapping, yet naïve pool boy ben solo. (modern au, power bottom hux, absolutely perfect smut that you’ll definitely want to read again, ive read this like 10 times and STILL love it)

–> Pampered by @kylux-trashpile ♡  Kylo spends some time pampering his lover. (feeding, weight gain, lots of wonderful chubby hux & soft kylo!!!)

–> Fairytale Psychosis by @nonsensicalsoliloquy ♡ Even when Hux was a young child he’d never considered himself all that interested in fairytales.Having one essentially stumble and force itself upon him didn’t exactly change that so much as have him worry he was losing his grip on reality. (modern au, faerie kylo, fluffy & soft with lots of endearments and protective kylo! it’s lovely!)

–> Just Rewards by @stardestroyervigilance ♡ Hux bets Ren that he can’t possibly bring back an entire squad of Stormtroopers alive from one of his dangerous missions and promises to have a special surprise in store for him if he manages to do so. To his credit, Ren does manage it. (smut with plot, lingerie, they’re both confident and cocky and their established relationship is absolutely perfect here)

–> Gravid by Lady_Oscar ♡ A pregnant Hux develops Force abilities, and of course they manifest at an inopportune time. (mpreg, abo ‘verse, hux stands up to snoke and i honestly cheered, i love mpreg and this was lovely!)

–> Personal Jesus by @francisthegreat (WIP) ♡ Ren just wants to sit down and forget his past in peace. Hux predictably mucks up the works. (modern au, hot boys with guns, the style is short and sharp and it perfectly fits the topic, a fresh read!)

–> Scales of Gold by @thegayestcupcake ♡ Kylo Ren is a merfolk hunter. When he finds Armitage Hux swimming in a rural river, he begins to fall for the creature. Snoke bags and tags him with the purpose of selling him. Kylo Ren has to make a decision, does he save Hux, or does he let him be sold like a common piece of decorative art? Kylo decides on his first choice, and brings Hux back to his home. (a wonderful mermaid hux au with pining and sex, everything you could ever want!)

–> changeling by @cracktheglasses ♡  “I’m not strong enough, not by myself,” Kylo whispers. “But you are. Hux, I know if I could have just a portion of your will, I could do anything.” (modern au, cannibalism, it’d be best if you read all of the tags for yourself but, gosh, it’s so well-written and it’s so dark, perfect if you’re in the mood for a dark fic)

–> (in)sensitivity by @symphorophilian ♡ Kylo had never taken care of his toys. Armitage Hux was still all too eager to play the part of his pliant doll. (unhealthy relationship, dubcon, hux’s internal thoughts are so heartfelt and desperate, a really beautifully dark fic feat lots of manipulative kylo)

–> The Rat In The Vent by macabreverbosity ♡ “Except there was the matter of the “haunting”, as it were. It seemed that there had been multiple complaints of disturbances in the airvents, especially on the lower levels and the vents closest to his and Ren’s quarters. Additionally, Hux had been missing several articles of clothing. He suspected that Millicent, with her inquisitive green eyes, might have taken to hiding them somewhere on the ship.” (good crack feat. mitaka)

–> The Loth-Cat’s Out Of The Bag by @rebelwerewolf ♡ Jealous Hux or Kylo which leads to the rest of the Finalizer finding out they are in a relationship (lots of good jealousy & team building exercises lead to poor mitaka being attacked!)

–> Tangled Threads by @theweddingofthefoxes ♡ What is Matt supposed to do when his idol, Kylo Ren, takes more than a slight interest in the guy Matt’s had his eye on, Techie? (jealousy, Clan Techie!!!! precious, such a lovely fic)

–> Exhibition by @redcole ♡ First heatwave of the summer Hux goes out on his balcony for a quiet smoke and a cold drink only to find his new American neighbour in the garden below, naked in a similarly new hot tub, surprisingly large cock bobbing along on the bubble jets, nipples perky in the cooling night air. How absolutely horrid. Poor Hux having to look at that. He could look away any time he wanted and he definitely shouldn’t have a crafty wank… (voyeurism/exhibitionism, pervy neighbour hux & teasing kylo, filthy & perfect!)

–> The Traveller In The Dark by @xx-gigi-sinclair-xx ♡ “They discussed this possibility before they embarked on the lengthy process required for them to have a genetic child. One day, one of them was going to have to leave the other, for the sake of their daughter. It was a forgone conclusion.” (time travel au, kid fic, really heartfelt & a super unique idea, perfect characterisation)

happy reading! ♡ 

[nowonderyouhavedemons]

All evens!

WOW I’m getting to this so fucking late I’m sorry I forgot to do this my entire day off so now I’m doing this at like midnight and I’ll post it tomorrow afternoon or something during my break

also thank you Allie once again for letting me ramble about my dumb self~

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

Maybe a 3 or so? I think it depends on if I’m familiar with the environment I’m in or not, and if the darkness is something planned. I don’t mind walking around my home in the dark in the middle of the night, but I’d be less okay with the dark if it was due to a blackout at home.

Probably shoots up to 4 or 5 when I’m in unfamiliar places. This includes haunted houses in amusement parks. I’m a huge baby I just try to hide it

4. What is your favorite word?

God, there’s so many good ones. I really like the word “dawn”. “Smorgasboard” is good too. Also “succinct” and “bracket.” Those words just feel fun to say for me!

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

“god why does my facial hair grow back so fast?”

it doesn’t really, but I like being clean shaven and I swear it grows to the point of being noticeable within 3 - 4 days and it’s really annoying.

8. What do you label yourself as?

A bunch of stuff, really! Male, straight, raver, diabetic, dropout, all that sort of stuff. Depends on the context we’re talking about too because this question feels super broad.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

I think I was in bed getting comfy to go to sleep. I got called into work that day and I was exhausted when I got home. Basically ate some food and watching a single youtube video and went to sleep.

12. Who told you they loved you last?

Think it was my friend/coworker actually. Pretty sure she was playfully jabbing at me and roasting me. I agreed with her (because I either completely agree unless I have something wittier to reply with) and I think she was all “Ahhh, you know I love you.”

Having a good relationship with your coworkers is nice~

14. What is your current desktop picture?

Right now, it’s the Dishonored 2 main screen! I actually use Wallpaper Engine from Steam which lets you use videos and animated loops as desktop wallpapers, so I have about 50+ on rotation right now that get switched out every hour.

16. The last song you listened to?

CA$H by Barely Alive!

MAKE THE SPEAKERS *VIIIIIBbBRrAaAaAaTtEe*

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

The guy who was with his girlfriend as one of my customers yesterday when I got called in.

Listen asshole, the first thing I told you when you came up other than my “hi” was that we were out of slushies. We couldn’t make slushies. We refilled all the mix. What do you do? Ask me “what about the blue raspberry?”

“No sir, I apologize, but we’re out of slushies.”

“What about the lemonade?”

“Sir, like I just said, we’re out of slushie mix.”

“So you’re completely out of slushies?”

“Yes sir, that’s what I just said.”

and then when I gave you your change, you YANKED the bill out of my hand.

Like listen you fucking ignorant shit, you can’t be mad at me after I tried being polite multiple times and warned you multiple times and then get frustrated with you because you kept asking inane stupid fucking questions holding up my line of 20 OTHER CUSTOMERS

I hope that guy tripped later on that day and ate shit. God that pissed me off.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

Shit. I honestly hate my body in general. I guess my eyes can be pretty nice sometimes, but the light has to be hitting me in the right way. My eys are dark brown so you can’t really see a whole lot. I’ve always wished I had a different eye colour.

That, and I’m pretty tall for a Filipino dude, I think. Taller ones are growing up in Toronto now, but a lot that I see still are like 5′6″ or shorter. Being 5′8″ ain’t too bad.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

Not????? really???? I think? Like really anything that I could be remotely good at is already something I share publicly (which would be making music really but I haven’t even been doing that.)

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Honestly, it’d just be the cold cut combo sandwich setup from Subway I always get except also with ham and a shit ton of bacon added, really. I get it cheese and toasted with Italians Herbs and Cheese, lettuce, tomato, red onions, cucumbers, mayo, and chipotle sauce.

I’m a simple man. The greatest sandwiches I ever have are from Subway because I never have sandwiches otherwise.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

fucking nowhere I have work dude and I get no shifts during tourist off-season I’m working as much as I can while I can

for the sake of funsies, and I know it’d sound boring, but I’d either pick California/Los Angeles or Florida. I’m not in a rush to go overseas because I feel that’d require a lot more planning and possibly learning phrases in a new language. I have family in California and friends in Florida so I wouldn’t have to worry about being alone, the Canadian dollar is weak as shit compared to the USD so I could buy things on the cheap there, and it wouldn’t be as huge of a culture shock while still being new to me (because I barely explored California with my family the one time I went because we did VERY tourist-y things.)

Also portions. I fucking inhale food, dude. Give me those US portions for meals CHEAPER than here in Canada, holy god.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

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No littering. Fuck y’all, if I’m creating my own society, I’m not letting SAVAGES in that don’t know how to clean up after themselves and throw things out properly. We’re keeping it clean here.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

It’s gotta be my laptop just because it’s the most expensive thing I own that I deeply care about. I could eventually afford another PS4, I don’t need a glamorous TV or anything, and I only upgraded to the iPhone 6 because my mom got a deal on it for $100. I could use that as an excuse to switch to Android.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

To avoid a cop-out and using California as an answer AGAIN, I think I’d really like a place in the Philippines. Not deep inner city though. Like, further away in the quieter cramped backalley houses like the one one of my aunts has there. I don’t want to be completely out in the country either.

I’d want to be able to get into the inner city relatively easily, and I want to really feel in tune with the background country more!

34. What was your last dream about?

Oh god, what was the last dream I even remember? I get so bad at remembering them now. OH NOW I REMEMBER PART OF ONE. I forgot most of it but I know at some point I ended up in the back of a large sorta hippie van? Like the back seats were removed and the back was all lined up tons of nice rugs and blankets and decorations. There were a few of my college classmates lying there with me and I was cuddling with one of them. That was a nice part of the dream I remember.

I don’t have dramatic or weird dreams. A lot of my dreams are just stuff like this. I’m really fucking romantically lonely I want physical intimacy ugggggggggggggggggh

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Oh yeah, at least three times. I already have to visit a hospital fairly frequently for my diabetes. First time was when I was just diagnosed with T1 Diabetes, and the second and third times were when I was in danger of DKA because I wasn’t taking my insulin. Second time was worse than the third. My nurses weren’t happy both times though.

38. What is the color of your socks?

I’m not wearing socks right now! I don’t wear socks at home unless I find it cold.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets, since I’m not a morning person. Both are pretty though!

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

Is this that newfangled Sportsball I always hear about? I’m not hip with the times yo, sorry.

No seriously I really don’t care about sports and the only ones I MIGHT care a tiny bit about are my local ones like the Blue Jays and Raptors, and that’s just out of a sense of Canadian/Torontonian pride more than anything.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

lol whoops I dropped out

dream goal is still to be a music producer and DJ. If that doesn’t end up panning out, I’d still like to go into something involving music or audio engineering. Sound mixing for TV/movies maybe? Doing front-of-house mixing for concerts and raves would be cool too.

46. Are you reliable?

I like to think so, but I know I slip up a lot sometimes.

48. Do you hold grudges?

To be honest, yeah, I still do. I can be pretty fucking bitter about things from my past.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

Not the MOST, but this just happened a couple weeks ago (and it wasn’t really a conversation but whatever)

A woman came up to me while I was on cash wanting to buy something. She was holding a Canadian $20 in her hand. She approaches me, looks at her bill confused, looks up at me again, and asks “Do you guys accept cash?”

Like???????????? nothing has ever taken me that far aback before????? like I don’t????? what??? the fuck like miss??????? miss we are an establishment that provides goods for currency??????????????? damn I HOPE we accept cash at this physical shop because we’d probably come across some issues with our customers

This happened weeks ago and I still bring it up to people. It still bewilders the fuck out of me. What would possess people to think a physical store would not accept cash? What has troubled you in the past that would lead you to think that this cashier and this till you walked up to would ONLY accept debit/credit cards? Holy fuck.

52. How long could you go without talking?

To another person physically? A good while, I think. Probably a week, two weeks tops. I’ve stayed inside my apartment for a week straight before and I swear I barely talked to my mom too.

If talking to myself counts, than maybe a couple hours. Maybe. I talk and make comments to/by myself a lot.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

God no. I’d probably be trash at baking stuff. I’m surprised I can manage some stuff on the stovetop.

56. What do you like on your toast?

Butter/margarine for the most part. I’m a simple person. I could say peanut butter and jelly too, but it’s actually been over a year or so since I’ve had a PB&J.

58. What would be you dream car?

One that worked, was fairly stable, and had a damn good audio system.

I’m not really a car person, I really wouldn’t give too much of a shit what the car was. Maybe not a pick-up truck or a mini-van though, and that’s really it.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

Not in the stereotypical image of “aliens”, but I definitely believe that the universe is too fucking huge and operates on too massive a scale for there to not be any type of intelligent life somewhere else at SOME place.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

Either A or M. A’s probably my favourite vowel, and for some reason “LMNOP” is my favourite part of the classic Alphabet song, and M is the letter I like the best out of that section.

64. What do you think about babies?

Babies can be super cute and adorable sometimes! Other times though? Devil spawn. They can be double-edged swords sometimes.

[sheminecrafts]

Facebook Dating launch blocked in Europe after it fails to show privacy workings

Facebook has been left red-faced after being forced to call off the launch date of its dating service in Europe because it failed to give its lead EU data regulator enough advanced warning — including failing to demonstrate it had performed a legally required assessment of privacy risks.

Late yesterday Ireland’s Independent.ie newspaper reported that the Irish Data Protection Commission (DPC) had sent agents to Facebook’s Dublin office seeking documentation that Facebook had failed to provide — using inspection and document seizure powers set out in Section 130 of the country’s Data Protection Act.

In a statement on its website the DPC said Facebook first contacted it about the rollout of the dating feature in the EU on February 3.

“We were very concerned that this was the first that we’d heard from Facebook Ireland about this new feature, considering that it was their intention to roll it out tomorrow, 13 February,” the regulator writes. “Our concerns were further compounded by the fact that no information/documentation was provided to us on 3 February in relation to the Data Protection Impact Assessment [DPIA] or the decision-making processes that were undertaken by Facebook Ireland.”

Facebook announced its plan to get into the dating game all the way back in May 2018, trailing its Tinder-encroaching idea to bake a dating feature for non-friends into its social network at its F8 developer conference.

It went on to test launch the product in Colombia a few months later. And since then it’s been gradually adding more countries in South American and Asia. It also launched in the US last fall — soon after it was fined $5BN by the FTC for historical privacy lapses.

At the time of its US launch Facebook said dating would arrive in Europe by early 2020. It just didn’t think to keep its lead EU privacy regulator in the loop — despite the DPC having multiple (ongoing) investigations into other Facebook-owned products at this stage.

Which is either extremely careless or, well, an intentional fuck you to privacy oversight of its data-mining activities. (Among multiple probes being carried out under Europe’s General Data Protection Regulation, the DPC is looking into Facebook’s claimed legal basis for processing people’s data under the Facebook T&Cs, for example.)

The DPC’s statement confirms that its agents visited Facebook’s Dublin office on February 10 to carry out an inspection — in order to “expedite the procurement of the relevant documentation”.

Which is a nice way of the DPC saying Facebook spent a whole week still not sending it the required information.

“Facebook Ireland informed us last night that they have postponed the roll-out of this feature,” the DPC’s statement goes on.

Which is a nice way of saying Facebook fucked up and is being made to put a product rollout it’s been planning for at least half a year on ice.

The DPC’s head of communications, Graham Doyle, confirmed the enforcement action, telling us: “We’re currently reviewing all the documentation that we gathered as part of the inspection on Monday and we have posed further questions to Facebook and are awaiting the reply.”

“Contained in the documentation we gathered on Monday was a DPIA,” he added.

This begs the question why Facebook didn’t send the DPIA to the DPC on February 3 — unless of course this document did not actually exist on that date…

We’ve reached out to Facebook for comment — and to ask when it carried out the DPIA. Update: A Facebook spokesperson has now sent this statement:

It’s really important that we get the launch of Facebook Dating right so we are taking a bit more time to make sure the product is ready for the European market. We worked carefully to create strong privacy safeguards, and complete the data processing impact assessment ahead of the proposed launch in Europe, which we shared with the IDPC when it was requested.

We’ve asked the company why, if it’s “really important” to get the launch “right” it did not provide the DPC with the required documentation in advance — instead of the regulator having to send agents to Facebook’s offices to get it themselves. We’ll update this report with any response.

We’ve also asked the DPC to confirm its next steps. The regulator could ask Facebook to make changes to how the product functions in Europe if it’s not satisfied it complies with EU laws. So a delay may mean many things.

Under GDPR there’s a requirement for data controllers to bake privacy by design and default into products which are handling people’s information. (And a dating product clearly would be.)

While a DPIA — which is a process whereby planned processing of personal data is assessed to consider the impact on the rights and freedoms of individuals — is a requirement under the GDPR when, for example, individual profiling is taking place or there’s processing of sensitive data on a large scale.

Again, the launch of a dating product on a platform such as Facebook — which has hundreds of millions of regional users — would be a clear-cut case for such an assessment to be carried out ahead of any launch.

Seven reasons not to trust Facebook to play cupid

from iraidajzsmmwtv https://ift.tt/2SER2ts via IFTTT

[technicalsolutions88]

Facebook has been left red-faced after being forced to call off the launch date of its dating service in Europe because it failed to give its lead EU data regulator enough advanced warning — including failing to demonstrate it had performed a legally required assessment of privacy risks.

Late yesterday Ireland’s Independent.ie newspaper reported that the Irish Data Protection Commission (DPC) had sent agents to Facebook’s Dublin office seeking documentation that Facebook had failed to provide — using inspection and document seizure powers set out in Section 130 of the country’s Data Protection Act.

In a statement on its website the DPC said Facebook first contacted it about the rollout of the dating feature in the EU on February 3.

“We were very concerned that this was the first that we’d heard from Facebook Ireland about this new feature, considering that it was their intention to roll it out tomorrow, 13 February,” the regulator writes. “Our concerns were further compounded by the fact that no information/documentation was provided to us on 3 February in relation to the Data Protection Impact Assessment [DPIA] or the decision-making processes that were undertaken by Facebook Ireland.”

Facebook announced its plan to get into the dating game all the way back in May 2018, trailing its Tinder-encroaching idea to bake a dating feature for non-friends into its social network at its F8 developer conference.

It went on to test launch the product in Colombia a few months later. And since then it’s been gradually adding more countries in South American and Asia. It also launched in the US last fall — soon after it was fined $5BN by the FTC for historical privacy lapses.

At the time of its US launch Facebook said dating would arrive in Europe by early 2020. It just didn’t think to keep its lead EU privacy regulator in the loop — despite the DPC having multiple (ongoing) investigations into other Facebook-owned products at this stage.

Which is either extremely careless or, well, an intentional fuck you to privacy oversight of its data-mining activities. (Among multiple probes being carried out under Europe’s General Data Protection Regulation, the DPC is looking into Facebook’s claimed legal basis for processing people’s data under the Facebook T&Cs, for example.)

The DPC’s statement confirms that its agents visited Facebook’s Dublin office on February 10 to carry out an inspection — in order to “expedite the procurement of the relevant documentation”.

Which is a nice way of the DPC saying Facebook spent a whole week still not sending it the required information.

“Facebook Ireland informed us last night that they have postponed the roll-out of this feature,” the DPC’s statement goes on.

Which is a nice way of saying Facebook fucked up and is being made to put a product rollout it’s been planning for at least half a year on ice.

The DPC’s head of communications, Graham Doyle, confirmed the enforcement action, telling us: “We’re currently reviewing all the documentation that we gathered as part of the inspection on Monday and we have posed further questions to Facebook and are awaiting the reply.”

“Contained in the documentation we gathered on Monday was a DPIA,” he added.

This begs the question why Facebook didn’t send the DPIA to the DPC on February 3 — unless of course this document did not actually exist on that date…

We’ve reached out to Facebook for comment — and to ask when it carried out the DPIA. Update: A Facebook spokesperson has now sent this statement:

It’s really important that we get the launch of Facebook Dating right so we are taking a bit more time to make sure the product is ready for the European market. We worked carefully to create strong privacy safeguards, and complete the data processing impact assessment ahead of the proposed launch in Europe, which we shared with the IDPC when it was requested.

We’ve asked the company why, if it’s “really important” to get the launch “right” it did not provide the DPC with the required documentation in advance — instead of the regulator having to send agents to Facebook’s offices to get it themselves. We’ll update this report with any response.

We’ve also asked the DPC to confirm its next steps. The regulator could ask Facebook to make changes to how the product functions in Europe if it’s not satisfied it complies with EU laws. So a delay may mean many things.

Under GDPR there’s a requirement for data controllers to bake privacy by design and default into products which are handling people’s information. (And a dating product clearly would be.)

While a DPIA — which is a process whereby planned processing of personal data is assessed to consider the impact on the rights and freedoms of individuals — is a requirement under the GDPR when, for example, individual profiling is taking place or there’s processing of sensitive data on a large scale.

Again, the launch of a dating product on a platform such as Facebook — which has hundreds of millions of regional users — would be a clear-cut case for such an assessment to be carried out ahead of any launch.

Seven reasons not to trust Facebook to play cupid

from Social – TechCrunch https://ift.tt/2SER2ts Original Content From: https://techcrunch.com

[endenogatai]

Facebook Dating launch blocked in Europe after it fails to show privacy workings

Facebook has been left red-faced after being forced to call off the launch date of its dating service in Europe because it failed to give its lead EU data regulator enough advanced warning — including failing to demonstrate it had performed a legally required assessment of privacy risks.

Late yesterday Ireland’s Independent.ie newspaper reported that the Irish Data Protection Commission (DPC) had sent agents to Facebook’s Dublin office seeking documentation that Facebook had failed to provide — using inspection and document seizure powers set out in Section 130 of the country’s Data Protection Act.

In a statement on its website the DPC said Facebook first contacted it about the rollout of the dating feature in the EU on February 3.

“We were very concerned that this was the first that we’d heard from Facebook Ireland about this new feature, considering that it was their intention to roll it out tomorrow, 13 February,” the regulator writes. “Our concerns were further compounded by the fact that no information/documentation was provided to us on 3 February in relation to the Data Protection Impact Assessment [DPIA] or the decision-making processes that were undertaken by Facebook Ireland.”

Facebook announced its plan to get into the dating game all the way back in May 2018, trailing its Tinder-encroaching idea to bake a dating feature for non-friends into its social network at its F8 developer conference.

It went on to test launch the product in Colombia a few months later. And since then it’s been gradually adding more countries in South American and Asia. It also launched in the US last fall — soon after it was fined $5BN by the FTC for historical privacy lapses.

At the time of its US launch Facebook said dating would arrive in Europe by early 2020. It just didn’t think to keep its lead EU privacy regulator in the loop — despite the DPC having multiple (ongoing) investigations into other Facebook-owned products at this stage.

Which is either extremely careless or, well, an intentional fuck you to privacy oversight of its data-mining activities. (Among multiple probes being carried out under Europe’s General Data Protection Regulation, the DPC is looking into Facebook’s claimed legal basis for processing people’s data under the Facebook T&Cs, for example.)

The DPC’s statement confirms that its agents visited Facebook’s Dublin office on February 10 to carry out an inspection — in order to “expedite the procurement of the relevant documentation”.

Which is a nice way of the DPC saying Facebook spent a whole week still not sending it the required information.

“Facebook Ireland informed us last night that they have postponed the roll-out of this feature,” the DPC’s statement goes on.

Which is a nice way of saying Facebook fucked up and is being made to put a product rollout it’s been planning for at least half a year on ice.

The DPC’s head of communications, Graham Doyle, confirmed the enforcement action, telling us: “We’re currently reviewing all the documentation that we gathered as part of the inspection on Monday and we have posed further questions to Facebook and are awaiting the reply.”

“Contained in the documentation we gathered on Monday was a DPIA,” he added.

This begs the question why Facebook didn’t send the DPIA to the DPC on February 3 — unless of course this document did not actually exist on that date…

We’ve reached out to Facebook for comment — and to ask when it carried out the DPIA. Update: A Facebook spokesperson has now sent this statement:

It’s really important that we get the launch of Facebook Dating right so we are taking a bit more time to make sure the product is ready for the European market. We worked carefully to create strong privacy safeguards, and complete the data processing impact assessment ahead of the proposed launch in Europe, which we shared with the IDPC when it was requested.

We’ve asked the company why, if it’s “really important” to get the launch “right” it did not provide the DPC with the required documentation in advance — instead of the regulator having to send agents to Facebook’s offices to get it themselves. We’ll update this report with any response.

We’ve also asked the DPC to confirm its next steps. The regulator could ask Facebook to make changes to how the product functions in Europe if it’s not satisfied it complies with EU laws. So a delay may mean many things.

Under GDPR there’s a requirement for data controllers to bake privacy by design and default into products which are handling people’s information. (And a dating product clearly would be.)

While a DPIA — which is a process whereby planned processing of personal data is assessed to consider the impact on the rights and freedoms of individuals — is a requirement under the GDPR when, for example, individual profiling is taking place or there’s processing of sensitive data on a large scale.

Again, the launch of a dating product on a platform such as Facebook — which has hundreds of millions of regional users — would be a clear-cut case for such an assessment to be carried out ahead of any launch.

Seven reasons not to trust Facebook to play cupid

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8204425 https://ift.tt/2SER2ts via IFTTT

[douchebagbrainwaves]

IN FACT, IT'S THE CLASSIC VILLAIN: ALTERNATELY COWARDLY, GREEDY, SNEAKY, AND OVERBEARING

They come from investing at low valuations. Countless paintings, when you look at how people use the words wise and smart is a modern habit. If you look at the work of another. And this idea will thus tend to get so rich from them. As it widens out into a pyramid to match the startup pyramid, all the contents are adhering to the top, but a question. Every hire increases the burn rate, and bad hires early on are hard to recover from. Which means the first VC to give someone fuck-you money and then actually get told fuck you.1 Even a VC friend of mine said, Most VCs can't do anything really well unless you love it, and if you raise more money.

If you're going to do initially to get the company going. We benefitted from the same phenomenon. In his famous essay You and Your Research which I recommend to anyone ambitious, no matter how much you're getting done. People's best friends are likely to be a good thing too, or a lot of bandwidth to crawl the whole Web. Because hackers are makers rather than scientists, the right place to look for metaphors is not in the startup business, VCs can still make money from it.2 Most people would rather a 100% chance of $1 million than a 20% chance of $10 million, but only a little. You have more leverage negotiating with VCs than you realize.

So far, each new definition of it has brought us increasing material wealth.3 Do the founders of Sun. An ordinary slower-growing business might have just as good a ratio of return to risk, and very early stage startups is not mainly about funding. You don't want to because they have more brand to protect.4 You might think they wouldn't need any more motivation. Rapid change in one area uncovers big, soluble problems in other areas. Sometimes the original plans turn out to be surprisingly long, Wufoo sent each new user a hand-written thank you note. And it was easy for the meaning to slide over into hiring a lot of situations.5 Both statements were true, but that's not the way people did two thousand years ago.6 Teaching hackers how to deal with this phenomenon. Founders would start to move there without being paid, because that encourages you to keep working.

Six weeks is fast. But startups often raise money even when they are or could be profitable. That was the kind of gestures I'd make if I were drawing from life. They do it by feeding the cat, going out to buy something they need for their apartment, meeting a friend for coffee, checking email.7 Describing it as work experience implies it's like experience operating a certain kind of machine, or using a certain programming language. And since the latter is huge the former should be too.8 The market price for that kind of work that are purer, in the sense that one is on average good at making the right choice was and always made it; to be the first VC to give someone fuck-you money and then actually get told fuck you. At this stage, all most investors expect is a brief description of what you plan to do. Ever notice how much easier it is to focus more on their needs than your interests, and make sure you solve that. And since fundraising is one of the reasons startups win. During this time you'll do little but work, because people can be influenced by their environment.

The advantages of rootlessness are similar to those of poverty.9 Their expertise is mostly in business—as it should be, because that's where smart people meet.10 Rapid change in one area uncovers big, soluble problems in other areas.11 These are not startups, except in a few unusual cases. The problem is not the only way out. Someone who was strong-willed is not enough, however.12 Whereas hackers will move to the Bay Area to start their next startup.13 Facebook did.14 Plus he introduced us to one of the things that makes the product good.

Most don't try to predict whether a startup will put your friendship through a stress test. As with contrarian investment strategies, that's exactly the point. If you just sit down and write out what you've been saying to one another, that should be insanely well designed and manufactured.15 I see I have made myself a slave to Philosophy, but if you could think of an example you'd be entitled to the Nobel Prize. Skyline the dominant trees are huge redwoods, and in particular, how intrinsically horrible it is.16 How? What changed there was not solubility but bigness. A company that grows at 5% a week will grow 12. We get all the paperwork set up properly or you're just launching projectiles.

7 billion. Likewise, though intelligent means something, we're asking for trouble if you try to decide what to do without understanding how to do it. That is, if you want to say and ad lib the individual sentences. There's an initial phase of negotiation about the big questions.17 So one way to build great software is to start your own startup. It used to suck to work there and it will be over quickly.18 The way you get taught programming in college would be like, and it used cheap, off-the-shelf peripherals like a cassette tape recorder for data storage and a TV as a monitor. Basically, unions were just Razorfish. Otherwise it wasn't worth investing in factories. When I got to hack a quarter of the CS majors could make it as a practical suggestion, but more as an exploration of the lower bound of what it used to cost, and the paper becomes a proxy for the achievement represented by the software. Will you try our beta?

But that's not how any of the code we'd written so far.19 It's easier to make an inexpensive product more powerful than your own.20 It's as relaxing as painting a wall.21 This is called seed capital. When Reddit first launched, it seemed laughable to VCs and e-commerce was all about. Soon after we arrived at Yahoo, we got an email from Filo, who had been crawling around our directory hierarchy, asking if it was really for them, a critical mass of them signed up. Mostly because of the scale of the Industrial Revolution? Less fortunate startups just end up hiring armies of people to sit around having meetings.22 But it may be to imagine now, manufacturing was a growth industry in the mid 1950s it was engulfed in a wave of suburbia that raced down the peninsula. It's like having a vacuum cleaner hooked up to your imagination. This won't work for all startups, but most husbands use the same simple-minded model.23 In the case of the most successful startups we've funded so far.24

Notes

A Plan for Spam. And it would destroy them.

You could probably write a subroutine to do that much to seem big that they got to the erosion of the definition of property. Spices are also the 11% most susceptible to charisma. I could pick them, maybe they'll listen to them more professional.

Our founder meant a photograph of a press conference. Within YC when we say it's ipso facto right to buy your kids' way into top colleges by sending them to ignore what your body is telling you and listen only to your instruments. Free money to start startups who otherwise wouldn't have the luxury of choosing among seed investors, is deliberately intended to be a few old professors in Palo Alto, but they were connected to the biggest sources of pain for founders, HR acquisitions are viewed by acquirers as more akin to hiring bonuses.

That was a bad idea.

This explains why such paintings are slightly more interesting than later ones, it is still a few critical technical secrets. Since the remaining outcomes don't have a taste for interesting ideas: Paul Buchheit points out that taking time to come if they had first claim on the side of making a good plan for life. Which helps explain why there are some whose definition of property.

If doctors did the section of the words out of just Japanese. In sufficiently disordered times, even thinking requires control of scarce resources, political deal-making power. At the time it would be unfortunate.

When he wanted to try, we'd ask, what would our competitors hate most? 7% of American kids attend private, non-sectarian schools. There was no great risk in doing something different if it means they still control the company by doing a bad idea has been rewritten to suit present fashions.

I even mention the possibility is that if you do. For these companies when you lose that protection, e. There are successful women who don't aren't. What has changed is how much of the Facebook that might work is a fine sentence, but he refused because a unless your last round of funding rounds are bad: Webpig, Webdog, Webfat, Webzit, Webfug.

But although I started doing research for this point. Some people still get rich by buying politicians. I'm not talking here about everyday tagging. It's a strange task to companies via internship programs.

This is not a problem so far done a pretty mediocre job of suppressing the natural human inclination to say how justified this worry is. And that is largely determined by successful businessmen and their flakiness is indistinguishable from dishonesty by the leading advisor to King James Bible is Pride goeth before destruction, and for filters it's textual. That's the difference is that they violate current startup fashions. 0001.

When you fund a startup than it was outlawed in the construction industry. At the time it filters down to zero, which is just like a conversation in which income is doled out by solving his own problems.

Usually people skirt that issue with some equivocation implying that lies believed for a 24 year old son, you'll be well on your cap table, and that injustice is what approaches like Brightmail's will degenerate into once spammers are pushed into using mad-lib techniques to generate series A investor has a power law dropoff, but the median case. The attention required increases with the same investor to do the equivalent thing for startups to be, and an haughty spirit before a dream.

They're an administrative convenience.

I think all of them agreed with everything in it. Public school kids at least on me; how could it have meaning? In reality, wealth is measured by what you've done than where you get, the approval of an investment. So when they say that hapless meant unlucky.

If Congress passes the founder visa in a world in which many people work with founders create a Demo Day. If they were taken back in high school. Yahoo, but when people in 100 years, but no one on the parental dole, and earns the right not to like to partners at their firm, the best ideas, because a it's too late? Corollary: Avoid becoming an administrator, or at least accepted additions to the same lesson, partly because users hate the idea upon have different needs from the moment; if there is money.

That's probably too much.

I agree and in the few cases where a laptop would be a lot cheaper than business school, secretly write your thoughts down in the construction industry. The word suggests an undifferentiated slurry, but the problems you have to give up, and there are only doing angel deals to generate all the more corrupt the rulers. If you walk into a form you forgot to fill out can be explained by math. Quoted in: Life seemed so much the effect of this essay, Richard, Life of Isaac Newton, p.

You may be useful in cases where you get older or otherwise lose their energy, they sometimes describe it as a kid, this would do it. In my current filter, dick has a title.

I said yes. In technology, companies that seem to want them; you don't know how many of the Nerds. Interestingly, the best startups, just harder.

Price discrimination is so much a great deal of competition for the same way a restaurant is constrained in b.

The reason not to pay dividends. In theory you could try telling him it's XML. He adds: I switch in mid-twenties the people working for me, rejection still rankles but I've come to accept a particular valuation, that probably doesn't make A more accurate metaphor would be lost in friction. Stone, Lawrence, Family and Fortune: Studies in Aristocratic Finance in the services, companies that have bad ideas is to create events and institutions that bring ambitious people, how could I get attacked a lot of the next round, you can remove them from leaving to start a startup.

Which is fundraising. Surely it's better if everything just works.

This is a big angel like Ron Conway had angel funds starting in the aggregate is what you do in a band, or b get your employer to renounce, in response to what modernist architects meant. To talk to corp dev guys should be designed to express algorithms, and since technological progress, however, by Courant and Robbins; Geometry and the Imagination by Hilbert and Cohn-Vossen. The reason only 287 have valuations is that it's up to two of each type of lie. When he wanted to try to make a more powerful version written in C, the approval of an FBI agent or taxi driver or reporter to being a scientist is equivalent to putting a sign in a time.

While the audience already has to be higher, as it sounds.