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miyagihawk · 4 years ago

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for hawk

lover of mine - 5sos

it's a selfship anthem, bby!

the lyrics make so much sense

i love 5sos!!!! ty for the request :)

lover of mine | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader

warnings: cursing, i think that’s it?

summary: based on lover of mine by 5sos <3

Lover of mine

Maybe we'll take some time

Kaleidoscope mind

Gets in the way

Your relationship with Hawk was more complicated than most.

You had to be patient with him. His mind was like a kaleidoscope; his thoughts were in intricate patterns that you could never comprehend. It amazed you, but it also frustrated you when you couldn’t understand him.

And when it seemed like you finally did understand, he would shift into new colors and you’d have to start all over again.

“I just- I don’t get you, Hawk! Why are you always lying to me?” you said loudly, already feeling exhausted from the argument.

“I’m not! You just never believe me!” he turned it on you. Like always.

You looked at him with a hard stare and crossed your arms. “Did you or did you not break Demetri’s arm?” you asked in a calmer, but still threatening tone.

You already knew the answer; everyone was talking about what happened in the laser tag room. But here Hawk was, denying it. You just couldn’t grasp why he hid so much from you.

When he stayed silent with his gaze not meeting yours, you sat on your bed with an exasperated sigh.“We should take a break,” you interrupted the quiet atmosphere, looking up at where your boyfriend stood in front of you.

“What?” Hawk finally met your eyes with a hurt expression.

You patted the spot on the bed next to you, and he sat reluctantly. “I’m just tired. We need a break Hawk.”

“We don’t need a break,” he protested quietly, and the subtle sadness in his voice was enough to make your heart pang with hurt.

Hope and I pray

Darling, that you will stay

Butterfly lies

Chase them away

He was scared. Even through all the countless arguments and lies, you never left. Now you were suggesting a break, and Hawk knows from seeing other relationships that they always just end in an actual break up.

In a weird way, you did want to scare him. Because he would never change if you didn’t. You hated the idea of a break, but maybe Hawk would finally stop lying to you if you showed him you were serious.

“It’s not a breakup,” you assured, because you knew what he was thinking. For once. “We just need time apart for a little bit. To think.”

“About what?” he asked defensively, starting to raise his voice again.

“You and I. We’re quite toxic, you know?” you contrasted his volume in a lighter tone, making his face relax and his lips turn up a bit.

His small smile dropped suddenly, replaced by an anxious expression. “Don’t leave me Y/N.”

Your heart dropped at his words, and you wanted to wrap your arms around him. To tell him you’d never leave and that it was all okay. But it wasn’t all okay.

You grabbed his hand instead, “You’re my best friend. I love you. But I need this, okay? We both do. Just some time to figure out how we can fix... us.”

“I can fix it now, we don’t need to take a break. Please. I’ll never lie to you again. I just- I hate disappointing you,” he pleaded, tightening his hand around yours, and you wanted to give in.

But you knew that letting this go on, this never ending cycle, would only end with the both of you in a huge crash and burn.

“You said that last time,” you gave him a sad smile. “Let’s just figure our shit out, and then come back better for each other. We need this Hawk.”

6 months later

Things didn’t end so well after your break with Hawk. After spending some time apart, you two were just never close again.

None of you planned for it to happen; you just drifted away from each other. And neither of you exactly established when the “break” would be over.

So for the next few months, you passed each other in the halls without any acknowledgment of the other’s existence. Of course you missed him, but not being with him just became the new normal. And you accepted it and pushed your feelings aside.

“So you’ll meet us there? You sure you don’t want the limo to pick you up?” your friend Cara asked from across the lunch table.

“Yeah don’t worry about me, Jesse’s picking me up,” you replied, making the rest of your friends wiggle their eyebrows teasingly.

“What happened to prom with the girls, Y/N? I thought we established no boyfriends during prom season,” Cara pouted playfully, and you elbowed her in the ribs.

“He’s not my boyfriend. He just asked me to prom and that’s it,” you corrected.

Your other friend jumped in, “And why not? Jesse is so cute.”

As she asked, your eyes trailed away from your friends and towards a certain someone with loud red hair, sitting across the room with his karate posse.

Your group noticed your lack of attention and turned to see what you were looking at. They sighed in unison, making you bring your focus back to them.

“He’s why, isn’t he?” Cara gave you an understanding smile and rubbed your shoulder comfortingly. “It’s okay. Just have fun tonight.”

You only nodded, giving your kind friends a soft smile of appreciation.

As much as you tried to convince yourself that you’ve moved on fully, the boy with a kaleidoscope mind would always have a place in your heart.

Where is he?

You paced around your living room anxiously, checking your phone for what seemed like the millionth time in the past hour.

You scrolled through the numerous texts you’ve sent, contemplating if you should send another one. Calling him wasn’t even an option; it went straight to voicemail everytime.

After an hour and a half, you gave up waiting and hoping that your prom date would show up. You flopped down onto the couch despairingly, replying to worried texts from your friends.

‘I’m not going to make it, just don’t worry about me. Have fun my loves.’ you typed, throwing your phone onto the floor right after.

You didn’t want to ask them to pick you up and ruin their night, and you were honestly too drained from being stood up to call an Uber.

So prom night ended up with you spread out on the couch with your outfit that you’ve planned out months ago, eating out of a carton of rocky road ice cream.

Honestly, it could’ve been worse. You could’ve been spending the night with an absolute jerk named Jesse. (a/n: so sorry if ur name is jesse lmao)

In the middle of your rom com movie marathon, an abrupt knock at the front door made you sit up from your pathetic, ice cream eating position on the sofa.

Immediately, you turned off the TV and tiptoed towards the door. You silently grabbed the baseball bat next to it, while squinting to see through the peephole.

Your stomach immediately dropped when you saw him.

Clad in a black suit, with a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

Shifting on his feet and chewing on his lip nervously, as he waited for you to open the door.

The boy you didn’t know you needed to see until now.

What is he doing here?

You covered your mouth in shock as you ran to the mirror to check if you had chocolate stains around your mouth. You smoothed down your hair and straightened out your dress in a frenzy, before unlocking the door with a deep breath in.

“Hawk?” you tried to act surprised, which wasn’t hard because your heart was racing.

He took a second to look at you in your wasted prom attire, and he was locked in a trance for a second before he snapped out of it. “Oh... uh, these are for you,” he held out the flowers to you and you took them with a smile.

“Wow, I love them. Thank you,” you brought them up to your nose for a whiff of your favorite floral scent. “So, what are you doing here?” you asked awkwardly.

“Oh crap, sorry, do you want to come in?” you said before he would answer, and you opened the door wider so he could step inside.

Hawk looked around the room where he’s been countless times, and he frowned at the sight of 13 Going On 30 paused on the screen with half melted ice cream on the coffee table. That movie plus the sweet dessert was your absolute comfort pairing, and it made him sad that you needed it.

“Cara texted me, and I was worried,” he finally spoke, answering your earlier question. You suddenly felt embarrassed as you placed the bouquet in a vase. You didn’t want to be pitied. Especially by your ex-boyfriend.

“I’m fine,” you said bluntly, busying yourself with the flowers so that you wouldn’t have to face him. You hadn’t talked to him since the night you suggested the break, and you already felt too exhausted from tonight’s events to even talk about it with him. “It’s better that I didn’t go to prom with that dick.”

Hawk chuckled at your remark, and you felt more at ease. The tension between you was thicker than an iceberg, and you didn’t know if you could handle it.

“So did you leave? Or are you just dressed up like that for me?” you smiled, sitting down on the couch where he followed.

He laughed again, lightening the mood even more. “I was there, but you know, Cara told me about what happened and... I just felt like I needed to come. It was lame though. The whole thing is just dancing. And I don’t dance,” Hawk explained, and you found yourself smiling at the thought of him caring about you. “But I know how excited you were about prom, so I thought I’d bring it to you. Some romantic shit like that.”

Your eyebrows raised at “romantic shit”, but you decided not to say anything about it. Although, it did make your cheeks heat up and you hoped he didn’t notice. “That’s really sweet Hawk. Thank you. Really,” you placed your hand on top of his, but you recoiled awkwardly because it felt too intimate, given the circumstances.

You cleared your throat, “So... since you’re bringing prom to me, does that mean I get a dance?” you got up and stood in front of him with your arms playfully crossed.

Hawk squinted his blue eyes at you, crossing his arms as well, “I don’t dance, remember?”

“For me you will, right? Or I could just, you know, dance by myself. It’s already been such a great night for me,” you teased, walking away from him towards a clear space in the living room.

He groaned from behind you and got up to follow, making you cheer happily. “For you I will,” he stated under his breath, releasing dozens of butterflies in your stomach.

Dance around the living room

Lose me in the sight of you

I've seen the red, I've seen the blue

Take all of me

You turned on your Dad’s old record player, where a slow, jazzy, 60s vinyl was spinning. You almost wanted to change it because it felt too romantic, but Hawk was already waiting behind you and you were scared he would change his mind.

The rush his presence gave you made you boldly put your hands on his shoulders, and he stiffly placed his own on the curve of your waist. Your hands were locked at the nape of his neck; his hold on you was light as if you were fragile china.

You forgot how intoxicating it felt to be this close to him, and you wondered how you went so long without that feeling.

The both of you swayed to the smooth melodies of Nina Simone with interlocked eyes, and with every second his hands on your hips became more relaxed. You rested your head on his chest, pulling him closer.

For a song or two, none of you said anything; there was just an unspoken appreciation of each other’s presence. After 6 months without him, you needed this.

I'll never give you away

'Cause I've already made that mistake

If my name never fell off your lips again

I know it'd be such a shame

When I take a look at my life

And all of my crimes

You're the only thing that I think I got I right

“I should’ve never let you go,” Hawk whispered close to your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

“I was the one who wanted the break. It’s my fault,” you opposed, lifting your head up from his chest to look up at him.

He raised one of his hands to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, and it brought a warm smile to your face. “But I didn’t chase after you,” his lips turned down into a frown.

You put your hands on the sides of his face while you two continued to sway to the staticky vinyl. “Maybe it’s both of our faults,” you laughed lightly, touching his soft skin.

“It’s me Y/N. I’m the one who lied to you throughout the whole relationship. I’m so sorry,” Hawk looked down at you with glossy eyes. “I’ve done so much fucked up shit. But you’re the only thing I got right. I hate myself for ruining it too.”

Your felt yourself melt at his confession. “It’s not ruined,” you disputed. “You aren’t perfect and I’m not either. I shouldn’t have given up on us. I’m sorry.”

He closed his eyes in peace as your hands ran through his bright hair. It was down from its usual style, giving him a softer look.

“Maybe we both messed up. But I’m never giving you away again Y/N. I won’t make that mistake. I love you,” the boy you’ve missed for months admitted, saying everything you wanted to hear.

You kissed him in reply.

a/n: ah idk if i like this but i hope u do, i feel like my writings are getting repetitive im having bad writers block (as u can tell by how slow im doing requests)

#cobra kai #eli moskowitz #hawk cobra kai #cobra kai imagine #cobra kai x reader #eli moskowitz imagine #eli moskowitz x reader #hawk imagine #hawk x reader #cobrakai

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random-yandere-fandom · 4 years ago

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I saw ur Bertholdt hc and that was amazing! I really love it, so if there no problem can u do yandere zeke Jeager hc?? or reiner if it's fine :)

Thank you :)!

Yandere Zeke Jaeger Headcanons

He`s a manipulative and possessive protector

You probably met him when he was a child because that was the time when he was the most vulnerable and most likely to start an obsession. He craved affection from his parents, that`s why he got so close to Ksaver. So when he also made his first ever friend he was quick to become possessive.

You are most likely also an Eldian and approached him first as he was too focused on becoming a warrior to do that himself. At first he`d be hesitant, not knowing what to do, but he`d warm up at a fast pace.

Even as a teenager he wants you all for himself, Ksaver might have been the only person who he trusted you to be around at that time. He`s even suspicious of your family, simply because of his experience with his own.

If you had other friends before you gotta say goodbye, cause the older Jaeger brother will separate you through manipulations and guilt tripping. He`ll tell you all about how his parents treat him, enough that you resent them and want to protect and comfort him whenever he needs it.

After he had to sell out his parents to survive he`ll seek you out for comfort. He`ll become so much more needy and clingy and of course you will have to be there for him, your best and only friend is suffering after all.

If you were training to become a warrior yourself Zeke would manipulate the situation in a way so that you don`t become one. He wasn`t the best at first and while he greatly enjoys studying with you there is no way in hell he`ll let you shorten your lifespan. With his new conviction he will inherit the beast titan.

His original plan still stands though, especially with Ksaver telling him his trauma. Even though starting a family with kids together sounds wonderful under normal conditions, he doesn`t wish for anyone else to suffer more than needed.

Zeke however plans to at least marry you. After destroying your chance of becoming an honorary Marleyan without your knowledge he`ll give you his saving hand. To marry him means to get somewhat away from the discrimination, at least officially. You two have been best friends since childhood so it wouldn`t be that bad, don`t you agree? Besides, Zeke knows that he doesn`t have long so the best way to make you his and keep you somewhat safe even after death is marriage.

After some time you`ll love him, too, or he hopes you will. But with how caring he`s acting towards you that`s most likely the case.

He`d fully play and be the part of the supporting husband, letting you enjoy all kinds of things that weren`t allowed before due to being Eldian. He loves seeing you explore the outside and does his best to impress you.

Anyone insulting you will get their life torn apart. For these instances Zeke has worked hard to increase his influence and it wouldn`t take much to pull a few strings.

He`ll have to go to Paradise sooner or later and his first time he`ll do his best to make it as quick as possible. He wants to get back to you as soon as possible and the image of you getting hurt somehow while he can`t protect you is stuck in his head. While he somewhat trusts Porco to protect you and have an eye on you he is still incredibly anxious.

When he`s back he will spent as much time with you as possible, having been near death for the first time scaring him senseless. There is no way he`ll tell you what happened as he doesn`t want you to worry but you`ll notice how his hugs have become even longer.

Before war will be declared on Paradise he will make sure that you`re somewhere safe, having been informed of what will happen. Even if you don`t agree with him there is nothing much you can do while you wait for Yelena to take you to your husband. Besides, it`s highly likely that you already suspected that something was going on or he had told you before. Your only other option would be to sell out your faithful lover but that`s impossible, given what you`ve been through together already.

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venusiangguk · 2 years ago

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stellaaaa pls ur blog is a safe space dont gatekeep and spill how u bag such amazing tickets to everything 😭😭😭

i don’t always !!

i was able to get two silver soundchecks for mots before it was cancelled but that was when the army membership was actually a perk and not a necessity 🫤

for ptd la i got 2 silver soundchecks again!! but my 3rd seat from barricade gold soundcheck i bought resale above face value 😅

ptd vegas was v last min n it was just pure luck that i happened to check ticketmaster right when they released more club seats the day before the show

the second row txt vip tickets i also got just by chance, the venue i ticketed for didn’t even have an option to choose ur seats or anything lol

n tbh it’s gets harder n harder for bts every time i ticket 🥹 like i didn’t get ANYTHING when i first tried for ptd vegas during the army presale!!

but i will say that i do Not use the map!! everyone swears by it but it has given me Nothing.

n honestly i just do not stop trying until i get what i want in my cart, so don’t give up too quickly bc people lose the tickets in their cart all the time!!

also keep looking all the way up until the show!

#losing the tickets in ur cart is like the WORST feeling oh god #breaking out in cold sweats just thinking about it #but yeah idk if there’s actually like a ticketing strategy when it all really depends on that fawking queue #that’s what’ll make or break u brethren #for mots there was still soundcheck after 36 mins (i remember 🫣)#but for the ptds… barely anything after 10-15 #actually u know what my best advice is be ready and willing to buy resale lmao #anon #ask #stellanswers <3

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comicaurora · 4 years ago

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aaaa this is not technically a question, but I love how you draw fight scenes/action in both the comic and in all the legends/myths summarized videos!! It's so goodddd even tho you like to say how much you get tired of the process of choreographing fight scenes i think you really pull them off spectacularly!! do u perhaps have any tips... besides the usual looking at a bunch of refs and such- do you take inspo from action movies maybe? id love to know because like ur just so skilled red how

!!!! this is such a sweet question!

I’m so glad the choreography works! It’s difficult for me to gauge how engaging they are to read - I’m usually just focusing on making sure the movement makes sense from panel to panel. I’ve read a lot of manga where the fight scenes are beautifully drawn but frankly incomprehensible, because I have no idea how the characters are supposed to be moving in relation to each other. Because of this, when I choreograph a fight, I try and make sure the movement is clear from one panel to the next.

When drawing fight scenes for videos, I tend to exaggerate the movements a bit more than I might in a comic, since I’m usually trying to communicate the entirety of a fight scene in only one or two frames. Especially in the Journey to the West videos, I tend to give the characters very stretched poses - legs bent all the way up to the chest or stretched all the way back, arms completely extended, etc. In real life, overextending a limb is a very bad idea in a fight, but in the wonderful world of visual art, it usually looks a lot better than the more safe and realistic partially-bent option. I try to make sure the poses are all plausible, but for me, that stretch component is very important. It gives the illusion of effort - you can almost feel how the character would feel.

This frame demonstrates the stretch factor with Monkey’s entire pose, but it also demonstrates another important factor - flow. Anywhere there’s movement, I want there to be something flowing to show it. Monkey’s tail and sash and Tripitaka’s robes are very useful for this, and having a lot of characters with long hair or flowing capes also makes my job a lot easier.

Stretch makes the poses feel lively and full of movement. Flow makes it clear to the audience how the characters in this still image are supposed to be moving. Between those two factors, it becomes pretty intuitive to communicate a lot of energy in any given panel.

Of course, chaining panels together to make sure the movement is actually coherent is a different skillset altogether, and one I’m still working on. In my experience, the easiest way to make that work is coherent direction of movement.

This post is getting long, so I’m gonna try putting in a “read more”:

Using that fight scene as an example, the direction of movement shifts at the top of the page when Kendal rounds the tree. In the first panel, movement is from right to left. He pivots in panel 2, and then in panel 3, he’s abruptly attacked in a sudden burst of left-to-right movement. This is a new action; it’s fine that it’s moving in a new, opposed direction.

Kendal catches himself as he falls forward - this is still a left-to-right movement, because he’s still falling from the events of panel 3, so continuity of movement is to be expected. But the middle panel shifts focus again, because something new and unexpected is happening - his attacker is about to get kicked in the face.

In that center panel, the direction is no longer left-to-right - it’s out-to-in. We’re essentially zooming along the movement to accentuate its suddenness. Even if you can’t quite make out the detail of the boot, the movement is still pretty clear. The next panel brings us back to our familiar arrangement from panel 3, but this time, the movement has been reversed and is moving right-to-left again, as Kendal kicks back and gains the upper hand.

Finally, in the last panel of the page, the movement becomes a bit more directionless. His attacker is still moving right-to-left, continuing the flow from the impact, but the focus has shifted. The movement and overall flow is unclear, which reflects the fact that, at this point, the fight has become a stalemate.

Chaining movement together like this is tricky, as is representing clear movement in a single panel. You know it’s tricky because a lot of otherwise good media kinda sucks at it. For instance, I quite like My Hero Academia, but I’ve been keeping up with the manga for months and I have literally no idea what’s happening in these protracted superhero fights.

This next bit is going to contain spoilers from the most recent chapter, but it demonstrates my issue way too well for me to leave out:

This image has a clear direction of movement, but I have literally no idea what’s happening, except that someone might be about to get punched. (The next set of panels is not someone getting punched. It’s a flashback that lasts eight and a half pages.) The next panel that continues this action is this one:

It follows through on the clear right-to-left direction of movement established from the earlier panel, but it’s (a) still totally unclear what just actually happened, and (b) interrupted by eight and a half pages of other stuff. The panels individually look phenomenal (if a little speed-line-heavy for me) but it’s hard to know what’s actually happening. All we know is that movement happened; we can’t actually tell what happened in that movement.

In contrast, for a comic that does movement INCREDIBLY well, I recommend Usagi Yojimbo. It’s a comic about a wandering samurai who happens to be a rabbit, and all the Kurosawa-esque antics he gets into in his wanderings through ancient funny-animal Japan.

Uh oh! A setup for a fight scene! And that’s a lot of left-to-right movement I’m seeing! Even the swords in shot are all pointing that specific direction!

Oh, never mind. He’s fine. See all that right-to-left movement our hero is doing? See how the bad guys are suddenly pointing in all different directions and their movement has become chaotic and uncertain? That’s how you know the fight’s literally going our hero’s way.

This is a random encounter from a random issue of the comic. Fights happen frequently, and most of them follow the same structure - right down to the direction of movement. Bad guys move in from the left, good guy fights back from the right.

And when the fight proper starts, the background usually vanishes into a vague white void so the characters can take center stage - no visual cluttering, not even any speed lines.

These fights aren’t important. These random background mooks aren’t plot-relevant except as temporary roadblocks. As such, most of these fights play out roughly the same - no background, page-wide panels, minimal dialogue. But the serious fights? Those look pretty different.

Environmental shots! Close-ups! Banter! Backgrounds! The direction of movement is even reversed from the norm! This immediately sets the fight apart from the standard. Characters move around each other, the environment come into play, and each panel is a very clear beat in the progress of the fight.

Usagi Yojimbo is probably my favorite comic ever. But it’s also not the only very useful resource when you’re looking for media that does well-choreographed fights. Comics are good (even if a lot of them are just good bad examples), but animated media is built on a lot of the same principles as comic art. While they have an easier time showing movement (since they involve actual movement, rather than static images) they still need to chain shots together in a way that’s coherent and gives the audience enough information to understand the movement and progression of the situation. Movies and tv won’t help you much with drawing individual static images that communicate dynamic poses, but they can help a lot if you’re figuring out how one phrase of the fight should chain into the next.

While I’ve seen plenty of media that does this well, rather than making you analyze this stuff from the ground up, allow me to recommend a youtube channel that can do the analysis for you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mACKHGfdLlo&ab_channel=JillBearup

Jill Bearup has a wonderful channel with a criminally small subscriber base. I only found her within the last month and I think she’s amazing. Everyone should watch her videos about fight choreography.

This answer got much longer than I expected, but I hope it was helpful!

#aurora #asks #art

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reeeyachi · 4 years ago

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W-HELLO I AM dropping in both ur askboxes to ask if u guys think that there's a possibility that killugon could always stay one-sided (killua never confessing, aro gon, or any scenario tbh)? - im asking u girls because u can provide an artistic/writer point of view - as an artist, wouldn't it feel wrong/incomplete to make a character fall in love with another only to be rejected and be told that they wanna stay platonic friends, when they have such a deep relationship and potential for romance?

HELLO DON’T MIND IF I DO. allow me put my "writer" hat on so that i can give you a very subjective yet creative short answer and a super long answer to this one. Short answer is, unfortunately (it breaks my heart), yes it is possible. Long answer is also yes but with explanation below:

ok i want to slice this ask piece by piece. let’s check possible endings to this relationship and try to fit them in hxh’s concept/context and togashi’s style of storytelling:

purely platonic / just friends;

one-sided love (vice versa killua & gon);

both in love, but won’t confess and will stay platonic;

both in love and will be together forever; and lastly

both in love and will be together for a long time but will break up

i know most of these sound disheartening for us but for me, as a writer, i like to have as many options as possible. especially for romance. because there’s so much character growth potential in this genre -- as what it would let you experience in real life. people learn so many lessons when and after falling in and out love and i like to think of this as one of togashi’s main considerations in writing a romance. most esp a romance that developed at a very young age between two boys.

explanation after the cut:

purely platonic / just friends - let’s just get this out of the way. the answer is a solid no. if i were to strip off my fangirl mask and put myself in togashi’s shoes, an author who goes out of his way to write about the LGBTQ+, it’s not possible. forget about this. i have your metas to back me up on this.

one-sided love (vice versa killua & gon) - ok this one’s interesting because it is possible. @sincerelysamedt has this amazing headcanon (that i can’t stop thinking about bcos it is so damned possible) about killua confessing to gon and gon rejecting him because, while he does love him, he thinks he doesn’t love in the same way killua does (which is romantically). if we are to put it in hxh canon context, it might actually fit in, but with a different scenario. okay so, after separating, togashi gives us the “little detours“ scene between gon and ging, and throws gon back to whale island basically back to square one -- suggesting that gon will ponder and will realize his feelings for killua in his time alone. but it also suggests that killua might take this chance to move on from gon, and that by the time they meet again, by the time gon finally tells him about how he feels about the both of them, killua’s feelings for him are long gone, and they mutually agree to stay just friends.

both in love, but won’t confess and will stay platonic - talk about funny and frustrating. slow burn gives me physical pain, but hiding of feelings when it’s too fucking obvious kills me. and i am certain togashi knows this. if you are a writer, you would know what your reader wants. you would know what they think of your characters. and sometimes, most of the time, to break the norm and stereotypes (and to break hearts and laugh evil laughs), writers will tend to NOT give you what you want. in this scenario, he gives us BOTH. and it just blows my mind how he already does it in the manga. i really like how togashi tells a story because he doesn’t really “tell“ per se. he “shows“ it. like, he doesn’t tell us that killua has feelings for gon but we SEE it. he doesn’t tell us that gon’s best detour is killua but we KNOW it. he gives readers the power to interpret his contexts without being evasive. so i think it is possible he might pull this shitty yet brilliant strategy until the end. an open-ended conclusion, an “it’s for me to know and for you to find out“, a giving the benefit of the doubt, something that will make you stare into the distance and feel complete and incomplete at the same damn time -- really, the best and worst kind of ending

both in love and will be together forever - YES. this will fit right in the hxh storyline because of the BUILD UP we’ve witness at the start of the story. i repeat, not in the middle, not at the latter episodes of the anime, but AT THE START of the freaking manga. if i were to just pull out manga panel’s of gon and killua from the moment they met, without the side quests, focusing only on their relationship, and arrange them in chronological order, i’ll have myself a good-written slow-burn romance. i don’t think togashi would want to throw the idea of them finally being together out of the window after all the build up he wrote between them. this is the ending that we want. and it’s likely togashi will give it to us BUT, as mentioned, as a writer of his caliber, he might just go apeshit and give us more after this which my last scenario suggests...

both in love and will be together for a long time but will break up in the end - thinking about this makes me sad. but it is possible that this can happen. gon and killua were 12y/o when they met. they’re 13-14y/o when they developed their feelings for each other. while yes, they may realize that being together would be the best decision to make when they meet again, given that they are growing boys with maturing emotional and intellectual capacities, they might later on decide that they’re better off as friends. being in a relationship is not all fluff and games. they will have problems, they will disagree and they will fight. through and through, they will develop their understanding of the world and of the people around them. heck, they might even meet new people they’re interested in. and togashi might give us this. before and after being together. he might code it as character growth, similar to what he showed us after CAA, but as adults. it’s a loop -- like how real-life romantic relationships play out. i personally like this idea because it suggests that there is more to their reach than just each other, and that they can grow on their own without depending on each other. BUT BUT BUT i strongly believe that togashi doesn’t intend this to happen given what i said about the build up and all. he MIGHT make this happen BUT in the end, gon and killua would still end up coming home to each other.

i’m not really sure of i answered your ask right because i said so many things and presented so many scenarios HAHA but to summarize, killua and gon are gay coded and they definitely have feelings for each other, however, it’s togashi’s thought process as a novelist that i’m not really sure how to decode. the way a good writer thinks is amazing. they’re crazy genius yet so, so unpredictable and fucking poetic. he might give us what we want, but he might also fuck around and explore all possible scenarios of a slow-burn relationship before they actually get together, like the true shoujo mangaka that he is

it’s just a matter of time, really :3

#thank you so this ask tele my writer soul has awakened <333 #i keep referring to togashi's thought process in hxh related essays because i'm so interested in how he thinks #his thought process prior to actually writing a particular scene #and given how crazy and satisfying his idea of storytelling is the possibilities of killugon's ending is vast #and he MIGHT touch base with all of them #after all gon and killua are still young #unless he does it like how naruto did BUT I DOUBT LOL #hxh #killugon #asks #i got carried away sorry :p

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undertaker1827 · 4 years ago

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JWJWNAKAAN PROMT 1 AND 4 WITH GRELL AND HER S/O ANS HER S/O JUST WATCHED GRELL REAP THEIR BEST FRIENDS SOUL AND GRELL SEES THEM WATCHING AND IS LIKE SHIT FORGOT TO SAY IM A REAPER!!1!1!1 I LOVE UR WRITING AND I KNOW YOULL DO GOOD WITH IT 💕💕 HOPE UR STAYING SAFE AND DRINKING PLENTY OF WATER

I am drinking plenty of water, I hope you are too! Thank you and I’m glad you enjoy my writing, and I’m so sorry this took me so long, I hope you didn’t think I’d forgotten you!!

Hope you all enjoy and have a look at my masterlist?

Today was going to be a good day. You had woken up early with the intent to get up and get out. It was summer, it was a rare occasion in which the sun was beaming down over London and it was overall the perfect day for your plans. More accurately the plans for you and you best friend. Today had been in the works for a long time, keeping you both sustained through cold days and times where the day had not been exactly right. You were going to meet each other at London Liverpool Street station, then grab the tube to the centre of the city. Breakfast was going to be somewhere along the banks of the Thames, probably sandwiches and a good, strong cup of coffee each. Then the day would truly begin. You were going to hit all of the major tourist destinations, despite having already been to many of them previously. You planned to visit some of the on location shoots of your favourite show, purely for the sake of taking pictures and being able to prove you had in fact been there. You were going Asian for lunch, though where more specifically you had not yet decided, and all out fancy for dinner. And if you didn’t get home until the early hours of the next morning, who was going to stop you? Especially given that your friend hadn’t been feeling so well recently. This was bound to list their spirits.

It was still early when you ran though droves of commuters at Liverpool Street, waving your travel coffee cup in greeting. Your friend lifted a hand in return, though even from a distance you could see they looked a bit pale.

“Hey, you alright?” you asked, a little breathless from having moved so quickly. They explained they had felt quite ill for the last few days, but absolutely rebutted your attempts at going home and postponing the day out. You had been planning it for too long, they said, and really, you were excited enough to agree. You were making your way along the South side of London’s great river, a quitter spot and certainly not on the average tourist information sheet, but it was very close to an on location shooting site. It was really just a case of finding the exact place…

“There!” You called out suddenly, briefly glancing over your shoulder to beckon your friend and then running full pelt, thrilled at your discovery. In your excitement, you failed to see your friend starting to lean heavily on a black fence, nor did you see them collapse to their knees and finally fall to the ground. Location confirmed, you turned to speak to your friend, only to find they were not there. Calling their name apparently did nothing either. Becoming increasingly concerned, you quickly retraced your steps, only to hear an achingly familiar voice speaking clearly from around the corner. A voice belonging to someone who claimed she was too busy with work to go out with you the Friday just passed. Your steps carried you forwards until you could see crimson flooding the now grey, drab street. So focused were you on the explosion of colour that you didn’t see what she was standing over.

“…August 1995, died July 18th, 2019 aged 24 years. Heart attack. No notes of interest.” With that you watched as your lover, your crimson Grell yanked a chainsaw out of the lifeless body of your best friend, having placed a stamp in a book and returned both to the pockets of her coat. “Apologies darling, you truly were so young. But there such is life, yes? Now I have to-“

“Grell?!” The scream ripped through your throat before you had time to second guess it. “What the hell have you done?!” Grell flew around to face you, coat flaring out to frame her body and hair whipping around her head, the bloody chainsaw held out to the side with a strength you hadn’t know she possessed. You were knelt on the ground by your best friend in seconds, holding their hand and whispering to them, illogically trying to get a response, any response. Focused as you were on their body, you hadn’t seen Grell’s eyes widen at the sound of your voice, nor had you noticed the shock passing over her features or the realisation adorning it not a moment later.

“I never told you...” Grell breathed, amazed by her own carelessness regarding someone she cared so much about.

“Never told me what?” You choked out, looking up through the mist coating you vision. “Never told me what?!” Grell’s typically concerned look faded to something much softer, uncharacteristic of her outside of home. A quiet, sad air passed over her.

“That I’m a reaper.” You felt sick. You felt so sick.

“You just murdered my best friend and now you’re trying to play games with my mind? What the hell!”

“Y/N...” Gasping for air that didn’t want to come, you tried to push back your nausea, tears running down your cheeks and shaking your head. “Please, I know it was careless of me I just never thought - look it’s a lot to take in, I understand. But please listen to me. Look! My To-Die list, dispatch give me a new one every day. Y/N look!” She was desperate, you could see that. But even as you took the leather bound note book and glanced over your friend’s entry, you absolutely refused. This was utter madness. You trusted Grell, you were supposed to be able to trust her!

You threw the book back at her, uncaring as to whether she caught it or not. But when you turned back to the body laying next to you, your fractured heart broke to see someone already moving them. Eyes widening, you shook your head frantically and stumbled to your feet clumsily following after a man dressed all in black. He had a hearse pulled over in a tiny backstreet opposite to where they had been killed and he appeared to be taking them to it. He had already laid them inside by the time you got there.

“W-wait, please,” you whispered, emotion overwhelming your voice as you all but pushed past the stranger. “That’s my friend. That’s-”

You had almost reached their shoulder as a hand closed around your wrist, gentle but firm and strikingly cold.

“Come away, now,” the man murmured quietly, sliver bangs covering most of his face but his mere presence somehow calming.

“Undertaker,” Grell warned from over your shoulder, grip on her weapon tightening. ‘Undertaker’ raised a placating hand, carefully extracting yours from his hearse and starting to lead you back to Grell. When you realised this, you dug your heels in almost immediately.

“No. Don’t, she’s a murderer, she killed them!” You pointed behind you, trying to get this man to understand what had happened. Only he saw Grell’s face fall into despair.

“She’s not.” You paused in your protestations, raising the wrist he was still holding between you. What? “What she told you is true, she’s a grim reaper. They harvest the souls of the dead, they do not actively kill them. I can only assume it never occurred to her that she should tell you.” You turned, looking from Grell to Undertaker and back again.

“Y/N it’s true, I swear it,” she murmured, expression pained.

“Did you never notice her eyes?” Grell frowned, and you both moved to face Undertaker. “You must have, surely.” You moved to run a hand through your hair.

“Of course I noticed, I just... I thought the thing about chartreuse phosphorescent eyes was just a legend. I never realised, I never knew it was real!” Undertaker nodded.

“Understandable. I will have to go now, though. A fresh stiff always attracts too much attention.” His hand raised to silence your words before you had a chance to say them. “You’ll be able to see them again, just not right away. I’ve got my own job to think about.”

You and Grell stood in silence as the hearse drove away. It took you a while, but you eventually mustered up the courage to turn around, grabbing her elbow to make her walk with you and then quickly dropping it again.

“Will you explain? Please?”

“Of course,” she whispered. “As both myself and Undertaker already said, I’m a reaper. I only collect people’s souls when they die, I don’t kill them. It was her time.” Hands stuffed into your pockets, you glanced over to the river you were now walking besides.

“Could I have done anything?” Grell gave a small, sad shake of her head. You nodded in return. After another 10 minutes of silence, she spoke again.

“Can I do something? What do you need?” You inhaled deeply.

“I want to go home,” you started. “I don’t want to be alone,” was added more quietly on to the end.

“Hold onto my arm?” You glanced up at Grell, weighing up your options for a moment before deciding what the hell and then doing just that. The next thing you knew you were standing back in your apartment. Your incredulity was met by the reaper explaining a form of portalling was also something they could do. She looked at you calmly, silently asking what else you needed.

“Please just hold me?”

Grell nodded, dropping the chainsaw - which she had explained was actually a death scyth - and walking towards you, proceeding to sweep her arm beneath your legs then carry you to an armchair, sitting comfortably with you curled into her. Head resting on her shoulder and eyes slightly glazed, she drew gentle patterns along your back.

“Thank you.” It came out as a hushed whisper. Grell shook her head, squeezing you tightly to her.

“I’m so sorry.” You just nodded, squeezing your eyes tightly shut and trying to make sense of everything. You thought it would take a while.

#black butler #black butler grell #black butler grell x reader #black butler grell sutcliff #grell #grell sutcliff #grell sutcliff x reader #grell x reader #female grell #black butker x reader #black butler reader inserts #kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji x reader

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kalakilo · 4 years ago

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the empty text box answer hall of fame

over 400 of y’all took my stupid uquiz. why.

an anon ask requested me to show my favourite answers to the little text box at the end so i spent like two and a half hours going through every single answer AGAIN since i hadn’t screenshotted any while looking through them the first time. you idiots are so funny and lovely people and here is a big post going through some iconic answers. i hope this can be entertaining but also it is mostly just for me lol

first of all, in one of the questions i mention that i often leave “i fucked ur mom” in the empty text boxes at the end of most uquizes. this then resulted into 43 of you leaving “i fucked ur mom” in the textbox in some way or another and one person asking: “i wonder how many people wrote “i fucked ur mom” after what you said earlier”. some favourite variations of this include:

as a wise uquiz maker once said “I fucked ur mom”

to quote u, i fucked ur mom <3

i fucked your mom but i thought it was you anyways the pussy was bomb

as I was fucking your mom, I realised that I truly am the sexiest bitch alive

i didn’t fuck your mom, but i did make sure she got home safely <3

and a bonus i also enjoyed: Can you ask your mom if she’s single

no, my mother is not single, and i really hope none of you actually fucked her. that being said i laughed at these every time thank you so much

these next ones i just want to talk about even though the original sender will most likely not even see them. or they just need some context. i just need peace of mind

the first question of the quiz was my favourite one to do because kpop songs are sometimes absolutely fucking bonkers and i wanted to showcase that it was hilarious!!!! i can confirm that not all kpop is like that. i specifically chose the funky ones because i think it does add to character and that is something that i can simultaneously enjoy and also laugh at. but kpop also has amazing lyrics!! it’s not all one thing and kpop is super diverse. i didn’t personally know some of the songs i put in there, i just knew their funky lyrics so i cannot speak for fm but also what the fuck was that song

as you should. carry on. i was very threatening with “do not leave it empty you bitch”

this one was just cute!! idk if you’re going to see this person who sent it but my native language is finnish. chuu is an icon.

one of my questions was if you were a wizard what would you say when you cast a spell and one of those answers was fuck you. this person took it to the next level and i loved it so much i couldn’t stop smiling at this one

listen i’m fuckin trying

this person just completed the assignment. left me a wonderful love letter

and last but not least, this person did everything i told them to do in the actual question. a+ incredible performance!!!

if i could i’d put in all the screenshots i took but since there is a photo limit i believe, i will just write them out exactly as they are. moving on, here are just some random ones that i really enjoyed:

i’m your father, luke

i am so sad, i dont have enough white beads to make a little 3d seed beed chicken sitting down ): i even arranged all the beads i stole from my mom by color, it took me 3 days, and now i cant even make a little chicken ): a little seed beed chicken )’:

you’ll meet the king of fungi in 34 days

today i managed tp find the nether fortress and collect 10 blazerods. im about to beat minecraft for the forst time in my life

Dude every question of this was a riot I love you

Bro I’m just here for the vibe

I think dogs should be able to vote

i killed a man lol

Pebis.

jack sparrow pirates of the caribbean was confirmed some flavor of homo way back when which means HE was disney’s first gay character yet they refuse to give pirates of the caribbean the credit it deserves and they refuse to my calls where I try and tell them they simply must have jack sparrow pirates of the caribbean kiss a man directly on the lips in the next movie

ehhhhhh I’m evil penis boy im gonna steal your penis

I love you, no homo. The homo costs extra

Yo check this out *<|:) he’s in a party hat

theres way too many kpop references in this quiz

\_/____ it’s a slug

that was the weirdest quiz i’ve taken in a while and i truly enjoyed it

My cat is meowing at me i thin i’m going to die today

FUCK (are you pleased)

I wish I was a nac Mac feegle but more than that I wish I could enjoy being a nac Mac feegle

I forgot what this quiz is about already

I hated these questions and have lost 10000 years of my life answering them (no but thanks for the quiz!!!)

on god I was gonna choose the ‘cuddling stray kittens’ option for the how do u sleep question but then I remembered that I actually did sleep in a refrigerator box on my bedroom floor for months when I was like 9 :/ throwback!!!

when i was 7 i put my hand in a food processor while it was running to “see what would happen” and somehow im 28 and still have all my fingers and toes

this last one deserves its own moment. it’s the best message i got:

congrats on the phd doctor bitch!!!

along with all of these messages, i got a lot of song recs (thank you sm!!) and i got so many lovely messages from people saying they liked the quiz or just other generally nice things and i can’t explain how much serotonin these answers have given me. just wanna thank everyone who took the time to write something in there i loved it!!!!!!!

#honestly these all made me so happy #barely anyone will see this post #its just for me #it is very personal #eh ill still tag uquiz #it wont clog up anyones look through the tag #i put a cut there for a reason #uquiz

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glitter-asian · 6 years ago

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limerence [part one]

Everything happened so quickly. It started with one meeting and developed into something more. My entire world felt as if it were spinning at some unknown rate where some moments were irritability slow and others being intoxicatingly fast. I guess I should have seen it coming right? But sometimes we choose to ignore toxic traits in others because of our own insecurities. That leads to even worst consequences. Not even you can deny it but sometimes we're fucked up enough to want someone who is totally obsessed with us.

Everything happened so quickly. It started with one meeting and developed into something more. Who knew that one person could change your life so much? Maybe I was crazy for doing this. Maybe I was just so in love with the concept of being in love that I took the first sign of kindness and ran with it. Either way I didn't regret it. I didn't regret the blood spilled, the people who went missing, the boundaries crossed and the fucked up things that happened. Because in the end I got her. I got the girl ~ even if it was for only a while.

warnings: yandere! type behaviour displayed in ‘love’ interest // smut // drugging // toxic relationships // blood // viewer discretion advised

word count: 4.6k

a/n: okay so this is part one because it’s so long and it’s not edited yet ... shoutout to @maknaesdancersrappers for inspiring me to write this type of fic.. check out her amazing stuff! and if you want more yandere stuff check out @neo-cult-ure [a new account that will mainly do yandere stuff]

"Great idea." you mumbled to yourself as you stood by the bus stop, half soaked in rain water as the cold evening breeze caused goosebumps on your skin. "Listen to Lucas. He obviously has a brain" You mentally scolded yourself for letting your friend convince you to leave your comfy, warm apartment and buy snacks for his dumbass frat party. You slipped your hand in your pocket and pulled out your phone, thankfully it was water resistant so it still worked however, you weren't planning on leaving so the battery percentage was pretty low. Your fingers glided across the screen as your other hand held the two plastic bags filled with bags of chips and cookies. At your feet were the other bags of snacks that you had momentarily placed on the ground so you could easily call the younger male.

"Please pick up." you mumbled as you placed the cellphone to your ear and waited for him to answer. He didn't. "Dumbass." You said before ending the call and looking around. Every second you spent waiting here only allowed for the darkness to cover the city even more. The sight itself would have been very aesthetically pleasing if you weren't annoyed at him. Vehicles sped past as you stood alone in the cold, once or twice flinching as a car passed a little too close to a puddle that could possibly cause a big splash if it were to drive in it. It would be at least another 45 minutes before the next bus came and your only other option was to walk to the frat house which was a couple blocks away, however you hesitated considering the fact that you were holding so many bags, and that it could rain again. You were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard a soft voice. Quickly, you turned around only to come face to face with Bae Joohyun.

Joohyun, otherwise known as Irene, the one girl in university that the boys all wanted but somehow they never got a chance with. You knew about her because even Lucas tried to shoot his shot at her but that didn't end well. Some said that she had a CEO boyfriend and a loaded mother while others assumed that she was a lesbian cult leader. Obviously people think too much and should mind their own business however it was hard to not pay attention to the beauty that was Irene. You had seen her around however she wasn't in any of your classes. In fact she was a year or two ahead of you. She was holding a small plastic bag in her hand, a dark blue jeans clung to her legs and she paired it off with a light pink hoddie. Irene stopped as she approached you.

Hardly anyone willingly spoke to Irene mainly because of this resting bitch face she had. She always acted so prim and serious ~ not even laughing, as a matter of fact you couldn't remember ever seeing her laugh before. As your mind flashed through all these thoughts you felt your heartbeat increase and your nerves stood on edge.

"Are you waiting for the bus?" Irene asked. You looked at her and then back at the road.

"Yes." Your answer came out a little too enthusiastic and it caused Irene to raise an eyebrow at you. "Yeah, I kind of missed the first one." you said in a more calm and collected tone. Your gaze focused on the road as you pushed your phone into your pocket and picked up the other two bags which were on the ground. There was a moment of awkward silence before you spoke up again, "Are you?"

You heard her let out a sigh almost as if she really didn't want to speak and it was a bit embarrassing honestly.

"Actually I just came because I thought I saw a pretty girl here." Irene's words were blunt and unexpected to say the least.

"I've been standing here for almost ten minutes and no one else has passed by." an awkward chuckle left your lips at her comment. You looked back at Irene and her gaze was still on you.

"Then maybe that pretty girl was you." Her tone so in command as if there was no doubt in the statement at all. This came as a shock to you, why? Because you heard exactly what she did to Lucas when he approached her and flirted with her like he would usually do to tons of girls. His techniques had a ninety five percent success rate, however with Irene it failed. You blushed, your eyes looking away ~ but Irene didn't. "I'm not joking." she added, her lips curving into a soft smile.

This was the first time you had ever seen her smile and boy was it beautiful.

It had been almost three months now and you and Irene seem to be getting along fine. The night you both met, she ended up walking with you to the frat house and even stayed at the party for a while ~ mainly trailing behind you as you looked for Lucas. Speaking of your friend, he was a bit skeptical about your relationship with Irene. He claimed that she didn't fit right with you and the rest of your friends. And to some extent he was right. But you just believed that he was low key jealous that you had done what no other boy could do and that was befriend her. She became closer to you a lot quicker than most of your university friends which was surprising considering the way people talked about her.

And her aura itself changed, she no longer was an intimidating senior ~ instead she became a sweet, older sibling type friend. You saw nothing wrong with this. However it was quite unusual how quickly you both became close.

"Are you free tonight?" the text lit the screen of your phone as you sat in your morning lecture. At first you thought it was Lucas so you didn't reply. A few seconds later you received another message but this time it was a pink flower emoji. You took out your phone and read the message which happened to be from Irene, before sending a reply,

"Well I just have some homework to finish up for next week, why?" You sent the message. A few seconds later you received another message.

"I can help you with it if you want, I kind of need you to go with me somewhere tonight." You were reluctant to take up her offer. But then again she was a year above you so she had experience and knew how to do this the right way.

"Okay, you can come over to the apartment around 4." That was the last text you sent her before putting your phone back in your bag.

A knock on the door pulled you from your thoughts as you stood up and walked over to the front door of the apartment. You looked through the peephole and saw that it was Irene standing there with her bag. It took a few seconds to unlock the door since your roommate, Lana added a new lock to the door.

"Hey, thanks for coming." You stood to the side and allowed her to enter the apartment before closing the door behind.

"It's no problem. I'm always down to help you out." Irene smiled a little as she looked around the apartment. "Where is your roommate?"

You puffed out your cheeks and shrugged, "I have no clue, she didn't come back yet." Irene nodded.

"Well I have everything here, I was just having some problems with the research part for this section." You directed her attention to the notebook on small table you and Lana used as a dining room. Irene placed her bag down on the table and sat on a chair. She began to explain the assignment you were given and even helped you completely plot the entire thing. Once she was finished you felt so relieved and couldn't even begin to thank her for her help.

"Seriously, I don't know what I would have done without." You said casually as you stood up from the chair. "Lucas would have never been able to figure this out." you laughed, but it quickly died down when you noticed Irene didn't seem to ecstatic about your male friend. "Now what was it you needed me for tonight?" You questioned as you recalled the exchange in text messages earlier today.

"Well, there is a party that my .. " before Irene could finish her sentence the front door swung open and in walked your roommate with her boyfriend's hands all over her.

"Oh y'all still here." Lana said, her smile fading, "Didn't I tell you I'd need the apartment tonight?" she asked.

"Right.. " Your voice trailed off, "yeah, we're leaving in a bit.." You managed to say, "By the way this is.."

"Yeah I don't really need to know." Lana said before pulling her boyfriend with her towards her room which was down a hallway, next to yours. You glanced at Irene who looked a bit unimpressed with the person who you had to share a home with.

"Right what were you saying?" you asked Irene.

Irene licked her bottom lip before continuing, "First of all, she's even bitchier in person." she paused, "and secondly, it’s a party, and I need a date so I thought I'd bring you since you seemed so stressed these days with your classes."

You smiled at her, "well that's nice of you but.."

"Come on, it will be fun, and your roommate clearly wants the place to herself tonight."

You thought about it and nodded, what's the worst that can happen? After agreeing, Irene asked you to use the bathroom and you pointed her in the direction, it was also down the hallway, the door directly opposite to your bedroom. you went on to start packing up your school supplies and shutting down your laptop.

"Most of the people here are either in their last year of university or graduated already." Irene told you as she pushed a strand of your hair back. Both of you sat on the couch inside the house where the party was taking place. She looked at you, "Don't worry just relax, I brought you out to have fun." Irene reached for a cup that she had brought you earlier and handed it to you.

"Thanks," You relaxed a bit and looked down at the liquid, "what is this again?" you asked before taking a sip of it.

"It's just some vodka and juice." Irene took up her own cup and then raised it slightly to 'cheers' with yours. You placed the cup to your lips and drank the liquid, it had a low key off taste about it but you brushed it off before noticing an older man approaching you both.

"Joohyun, I see you made it." the tall man said before taking a seat next to her on the couch, she shifted closer to you and ensured that he didn't have any contact with her at all. "And who is this pretty girl?" His gaze trailed away from Irene and went to you.

"Well, this is my girlfriend Y/n." Irene stated without missing a beat, "And this is Leeteuk." Irene looked back at you. You were at a loss for words after she just introduced you like that to someone. It wasn't expected to say the least but when Irene shot you a look you went along with it. Afraid to disappoint the older girl.

"Nice to meet you." you bowed slightly since you all were still sitting on the couch together.

"Joohyun, you didn't mention to me she was so pretty." Leeteuk said before standing up, "I will leave you ladies alone now." he said before saying his goodbyes. Once you two were alone again, you took another drink from your cup and felt the alcohol entering your system again and leaving a hazy after feeling. You had barely been in the party for a long while and already you were feeling the effects of this.

"Are you okay?" Irene asked as she looked at you.

"Yeah, but .. Why did you introduce me as your girlfriend?" you asked. Irene took a second to respond to you and it added to your nerves.

She let out a breath and spoke, "Well you know some men, the only way they'll leave you alone is if you say you're taken." she almost joked about the situation and being in the state you were in you laughed with her. It was understandable and you were always down for helping another girl out even if you didn't like her romantically. Your eyes gazed down to the cup, The liquid seemed a bit cloudy and so you decided not to drink anymore.

"Can I see your cup?" You suddenly asked Irene, she nodded and showed you her cup, she was drinking a black liquid ~ nothing like yours at all.

"Let's dance." Irene suggested as she stood up and placed both your cups down on the table. She pulled you to the area where most of the people were dancing. You were a bit reluctant first since you felt a bit dizzy with the music playing and how everyone was pressed against each other. The heat was starting to get to you as you faced Irene. She flashed you a reassuring smile and you went along with it. A dream like feeling overtook you as you moved to the music, everything looked hazy. Maybe you should leave now and just call Lucas to pick you up. And then almost as if Irene read your mind she spoke up, "Do you want to rest?"

You nodded, unsure of why you were feeling this way. Usually you were good at holding your alcohol, come to think of it you only had one drink. Everything felt like you were in a dream, your senses relaxing and right now the only thing that kept you connected to reality was Irene. You felt her take you in her arms and walk with you to the front door so you both can leave.

"Are we going home?" you asked. "My roommate… can you call Lucas for me?" you tried to string words together and make them sound right.

"It's okay, I'll take you to my place." Irene explained as she walked to her car. "You can stay with me tonight." You were okay with that because you trusted her right?

She looked down at your sleeping figure. You were still in that tight pair of blue jeans and a pink shirt but fully passed out on Irene's bed. The lights were dimmed and Irene stood by the side of the bed closest to you. She took a deep breath, what she was about to do wasn't something she would usually do to anyone. In fact this was the first time she had ever been so invested into someone. Slowly she was going to find a way to have you return her affection. This was not going to be another one sided love where she was going to puke up flower petals again.

"So pretty." she said softly as her delicate fingers glided down the side of your face. Your skin was so soft and beautiful, from the moment she saw you, Irene knew that she had to have you. At first it was based on your features, the way you looked. You didn't look like an instagram model ~ no you looked like something that should be hung in an art museum. Your features different from what she was used to and it pulled her in like a moth to a flame. Then when Irene finally got to know you she couldn't help but feel the need to have you even more.

Irene bit her bottom lip and reached for your shirt, she popped the first button and then the second. Her heart skipped a beat as more of your skin was exposed to her. She leaned forward and proceeded to unbutton your shirt completely. Once she gently opened it out, she saw your skin tone coloured bra which held your chest in place so well. Irene wanted to touch you, she wanted it so bad. For the past weeks all she could think about was you. Finally she had her chance but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

"Fuck." she mumbled as she pulled her hand away from your body. Irene moved to your pants and unzipped it before sliding it down your legs. It took a couple of minutes to have your sleeping body fully undressed but once it was she stepped back and admired you. Irene reached for her phone and snapped a couple pictures with you. She wasn't going to show anyone these. They were hers, all for her alone. A rush of emotions flooded her body, and she felt a familiar heat between her legs as she knelt on the bed by your feet. She ran her hands up your thighs and gave them a squeeze, feeling your soft supple skin under her touch. She bit down on her lip to suppress a moan as she hovered over your body.

Without warning she flopped her body down next to yours, her hands exploring her own body as you laid beside her unaware of what was going on. She picked up your shirt and raised it to her nose, inhaling the scent before slipping her other hand down her stomach and into her panties. "I wish you loved you." she moaned out as she slid her fingers between her slick folds. The more she touched herself the greater the craving for you became. All Irene could think of was how you would feel. She had never felt this way about anyone before and usually guarded her heart because she was fully aware of how chaotic things can get when she has her sight set on someone.

Her fingers entered her sopping heat as she arched her back of the bed, she pumped her fingers in and out with a quicker pace, her eyes falling back on you as she tried to hold in her desperate moans of pleasure. This just didn't feel the same. She wanted you. Only you. Thoughts came rushing through her mind from the moment you both first met to how quickly the relationship blossomed and you both became friends. Maybe if Irene kept playing her cards right you would be hers. The thought of you being hers, of your body under hers as she kissed your soft lips and touched you in all the right places was enough to push her over and she came all over her pretty fingers.

Out of breath and almost in tears Irene wiped her fingers off on your white shirt and tossed it off the bed, she moved closer to your sleeping form and wrapped her arms around you, next she swung a leg over yours and pressed her body against you. She wished she could have this every night however it only happened tonight.

You awoke the next morning to a pounding headache and a cold room. Slowly you opened your eyes and looked around, this was not your place, and it wasn't Lucas' place either. So where were you? Your eyes scanned the room until you found a picture of Irene and an older woman together. You sighed in relief as you sat up and swung your legs over the side of the bed, you looked down and realised you were wearing a t-shirt which wasn't yours and a pair of sweat pants. Maybe Irene put them on for you last night. That was odd but appreciated to some extent since tight, high waisted jeans and a shirt isn't the most comfortable thing to sleep in.

Slowly you made your way out of the bedroom and down the hallway where you heard a soft voice singing. You had never knew that Irene could sing and you didn't expect her voice to be that beautiful. After you turned the corner you saw her by the fridge taking out some orange juice.

"Good morning." your voice was a bit grungy. You were greeted by a smile as Irene turned around and placed the juice on the counter.

"Hey, how was your night?" she asked. "I hope it was okay, I changed your clothes while you were passed out."

"I passed out?" you questioned. Irene nodded, "really?" you didn't believe that happened last night.

"You drank a lot of alcohol last night." Irene poured you a cup of juice before looking back at your face. You were in a state of disbelief, you tried your best but couldn't remember anything that happened last night. Why was that? "I thought maybe you were just trying to relieve yourself from the stress of university."

Confusion engulfed you as Irene handed you the cup of cold juice. Something still didn't quite fit because you knew you made a promise with Lucas to not get drunk until your final assignments were submitted. In fact you remember telling Irene the promise a couple weeks before. Yet here you were.

"Are you okay?" Irene asked as she walked towards you, she placed her hand ontop of your shoulders, gently massaging your tense muscles before leaning down and pressing the side of her face against yours, "You can stay for breakfast if you want." she teased.

You were silent for a few seconds before nodding, "Sure, but I’ll have to leave right after because I promised my group members that I would be at the library to work on our presentation." You felt Irene's grip on you loosen as she stepped back.

"Oh." the words left her lips in a dejected tone as she walked to the counter to continue preparing breakfast. "you can call in sick, tell them you'll work on it later since you have a hangover." She said after some time.

A chuckle escaped your lips as you shook your head, "Nah, I have to present on Monday so I think it's best if I go ~ hung over or not." you stood up from the chair, "by the way, what did you do to my clothes?"

"I put them to wash so I can bring them for you later if you want." Irene turned her back to you and continued to make breakfast.

You sat next to Lucas as he played a game on his phone, it looked like PUBG but you were busy going over your part for the presentation that you didn't really care. A few seconds later you heard him curse before placing his phone down on his lap. Your head turned slightly as you looked at him,

"Language." you said slightly swatting his arm.

"Y/n we're both grown, I don't think that matters." he said with a scoff, "By the way where were you last night? I went over to your place and Lana told me you went out."

"That is none of your business." you said as you turned the page in your note book.

"Were you with Minji again?" Lucas asked, "Or.." his voice trailed off before he sat up and looked at you, "You were with Irene." He narrowed his eyes at you.

"Calm down, we just went to a party." You brushed his gaze off before turning back to your book. "and I may have stayed the night at her place."

Lucas's jaw dropped as you said the last part. "You.." he was ~ for the first time~ at a loss for words. "Is she like your girlfriend now?" He asked.

You shook your head, "what ? No." you pushed your hair back before adding, "I don't.. I don't see her in that way. " You continued to speak in an attempt to defend yourself. " Girls have sleepovers all the time." Clearly that wasn't a weird thing. However Lucas wasn't fully convinced.

"But no one ever gets to go home with the Bae Joohyun aka Irene." he said clearly almost as if he was talking to a five year old.

You rolled your eyes as you shifted your whole body on the bench so that you were now facing him fully, "Listen, we are just friends." You saw his lips curve upwards and he nodded.

"Fine." he paused, "But if you were more than just friends, you'd be down with having a threesome with me right?" he asked as he stood up from the bench and placed his phone in his pocket.

You shook your head before reaching forward and hitting him with your notebook, "You're a pervert."

Her dark eyes were glued on the screen of the laptop as she sunk down on her chair. The doors to her apartment was locked, the blinds closed and the lights dimmed down as she settled in the chair. She bit her bottom lip as she saw the figure of the girl she adored. But somehow you looked tired, stressed, a bit worn out. But still beautiful. Irene was focused on how she entered the room unbeknown to her that someone was watching.

Irene's grip on the leather chair tightened as she saw the younger girl walk to her desk, right in front of the camera and pulled her t-shirt off. She tossed it to the side before looking around the room in only her black, lacy bra and tight short pants. Irene's breath hitched once she saw her fingers move down to unzip her pants, before slowly pulling it off. Irene leaned forward and kept looking at the computer screen as the subject of her fantasies climbed onto the bed, now on her hands and knees as she looked under her pillow for something. Irene didn't care what it was ~ in fact she was more focused on the clear view she had of her ass.

It had been almost two weeks since she had installed the camera in y/n's room and ever since she followed the daily pattern of when she would wake up, go to bed, do homework and even get dressed. Irene had seen so much of y/n that it almost ~ just almost felt as if they were together. Things were going so well so far that Irene couldn't believe it. She crossed her legs as her finger glided over her bottom lip. Her gaze predatory over y/n who was still searching around her room in only her underwear.

A smirk pulled at the older girl's lips as she saw y/n get off the bed and walk forward to stand directly in front of the camera again, she followed her eyes as they searched around the room. However Irene felt her heart jump to her throat as she noticed the change in y/n's facial expression.

Irene leaned closer to the computer screen and y/n's face contorted from confusion to horror. She reached forward and picked up the small device that was transmitting video footage straight to Irene. Y/n panicked as she covered the device and grabbed her phone. Irene couldn't see what was going on but she heard the movements and the words.

"Lucas, get over here now. Please please." Y/n begged, "I'm going to call the police." Irene heard her pause before she continued to speak, "it’s a camera. I think, I don't know just come please." she rambled through what Irene assumed was her cellphone.

Things were finally about to get interesting.

#red velvet #red velvet smut #red velvet irene #red velvet imagines #yandere!irene #yandere!au #yandere!kpop #yandere!redvelvet #yandere!smut #yandere idol #au #irene smut #red velvet scenarios #limerence part one #limerence

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edorazzi · 6 years ago

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some thoughts on the Felix Thing™:

(as a warning ahead of time, i am going to be very rude about astruc. i don’t talk about him on this blog any more if i can help it because i’m just not interested in inviting that kind of drama, but i can’t really discuss my thoughts about the felix situation without being transparent in this area too. i also apologise to anyone on mobile because i’m pretty sure read-mores still open on the dash there and this is a CHUNK of messy writing)

- all we know currently is that It’s Happening, but without more than a brief plot synopsis it’s impossible to tell any more. where on earth did this come from? whose idea was it? the Who’s Responsible question is really baffling me.

- option 1: it was astruc’s call. he’s notoriously petty when it comes to the fandom and known for putting little things into episodes which purposely degrade characters/ships and undo development from other writers (e.g. admitting to adding the final scene of Despair Bear in which chloé totally rejects all her positive character development because she ‘just can’t stand being nice’). this considered, i absolutely would not put it past him to introduce felix to the cast with the sole purpose of framing him as an irredeemable villain, just because he still hasn’t gotten over the PV fandom existing.

- however, lots of people have been pointing out that astruc specifically said felix would never be in the show. that was literally the one thing he held over the heads of PV fans - that no matter how much we enjoyed the old project, it was over and done with and we’d never be seeing its characters among the canon cast. he was intensely smug about it. adding felix to the show completely scuppers this stance, so why would he choose to do it? has he decided the satisfaction of tearing him apart in canon is greater? has he finally completely lost it? i’m not sure.

- then we come to option 2: it’s zag’s call. this is what i hope. we know zag is fond of the PV (and likely had a big hand in creating it) and eager to appeal to fans, so i’d definitely believe he would pick up on felix’s long-lasting popularity and jump on the idea of adding him to the show as one of adrien’s relatives. VLD did it with sven as a little shout-out to old fans and it was great! we’ve also already had a little PV easter egg in the form of a dvd in alya’s home, which did make me hopeful that the show was open to referencing it more than once. maybe this is that hope fulfilled in an amazing way! maybe!!!

- a good chunk of me is still deeply suspicious of felix getting into the cast because i’m sure astruc would have had to give the OK (and why would he have agreed to it unless he’s got something unpleasant in mind?), but i remember how much of an obvious fight he put up against chloé getting a miraculous and joining the team, even flat-out stating at one point that she wouldn’t have one, and that still happened. this tempts me towards thinking that if zag really wants something for the show then astruc can’t do much to stop it, and that might be the case with felix, if we’re lucky.

- i really want to know who the writers are for this episode, too. zag and his team are most frequently found in the credits of Adrien Episodes (which it sounds like this is going to be, given felix is a relative), which tend to be the episodes that contain actual character-building, plot progression and give the stagnant show formula a little shake. astruc’s usual episodes are just 20 minutes of marinette with a few backup characters as cardboard cutouts/praise machines. it’s conceivable he’d want to be lead writer just to do as much damage to felix as possible if he has to appear, but he might just duck out of the episode altogether as he’s prone to doing whenever it has to be about adrien. that would be a blessing.

- at any rate, i just generally think it’s really goddamn unfair that we have to be so suspicious about this. if this is supposed to be a nice shout-out to a long-lasting group of fans then it’s unfair that we have to wait months completely uncertain of whether we’re being blessed or made fun of, just because astruc has been such a goddamn tool about this topic for literally years. his reputation is so sour by now that we automatically assume he’s out to get us when this could be intended as something amazing - like fuck, man. that’s sad.

- ANYWAY. in terms of the actual episode itself, i’m excited for it either way. we’re going to see felix! he’s going to have a character model and a voice and a place in the canon universe! even if astruc does his absolute best to rip his character to shreds he can’t do worse than lila and chloé, and even they have their groups of fans because their insecurities are clear and sometimes they’re just so awful it’s funny. i’d gladly accept felix as my little brat cat, if only to piss astruc off by actually enjoying what’s put out as the New Established Canon.

- however, if it IS a better writer handling it (help me mr zag ur my only ho), i want to have faith they’ll draw more from felix’s source material as someone who’s completely socially maladjusted - maybe gabriel is actually the softer side of the family? - and needs adrien to drag him out of his shell. i gather from the synopsis that he’ll manage to piss off alya, rose and juleka, but just because that sounds like a villainous thing to do doesn’t mean felix himself will be a villain (i mean i’m sure he will if astruc has anything to do with it, but just looking from all possible angles--). marinette’s pissed people off to the point of akumatization before and she’s our resident in-house angel!

- i also have to consider wayhem in Gorizilla - this episode was clearly written in two halves, and he was set up by astruc to, essentially, illustrate why marinette’s “stalker tendencies” were completely fine because adrien’s other fans could get so much worse. in the latter half of the episode wayhem is redeemed extremely effectively and actually ends up better than marinette (if you’re making it a contest) in understanding why his approach made adrien uncomfortable and having the confidence to apologise. he was a character set up for failure who got saved at the last minute when (it seems) another writer took the reins, so maybe there’s hope in that for felix too.

- anyway, above all, i checked the notes of my previous post and the amount of people reacting with “OH MY GOD!!!” or “AAAAAH!!!!” and various other happy things made me realise just how much of a positive effect this episode could have on the fandom if it’s done right. it’s not (entirely) about felix as a character - it’s about our little corner of fandom being recognised and taken seriously, and the confirmation that, after all this time, we were right not to let astruc bully us out of enjoying something we love.

- if it does turn out to be a whole episode making fun of PV fans, however, that crosses the line of absolutely unforgivable. astruc will have straight-up nuked any popularity he has left among fans. i don’t want to believe that’s the case, but i will be staying appropriately wary for as long as it takes to get some confirmation on what this episode is intended to be. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#josie talks about things #i'm not gonna tag this with anything else because it's not meant to be some big ol drama post #just some thoughts buzzing around my head on the status of all this #once again i apologise to anyone on mobile that this automatically opens at full length for :')

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ohsweetflips · 6 years ago

Note

hey bitch dare u to answer all the questions from ur ask game xoxo

ur a coward if you think this is a dare, my narcissistic ass loves any opportunity i get to talk abt myself and my inability to love things to a normal amount means i can talk abt taz for hours!!!! get on my level, bitch!!!!!!!!

1) What/Who got you into TAZ?

my friends chris and mj @cabesmeadow !! i saw it a lot on tumblr and asked mj abt it and they were like “yeah it’s super fucking rad” and then my friend chris started listening to it over the summer so, mid-november, on a night that i had actually finished my homework early, i was like, “hey, fuck it, why not”

2) Who are you top 5 favorite characters?

(my top 5 list is not in any particular order)

taako

killian

lucretia

lup

davenport

3) What’s your favorite arc?

the eleventh hour!!!! it’s such a good fucking arc and had so many good moments oh my god

4) Favorite quote?

i have so, so, so many but my laptop is on low battery so i can’t list them all, so i’ll list the one i would most likely get tattooed:

“looking for new worlds to explore; looking for new stories to tell”

5) Favorite villain?

a tie between magic brian and edward & lydia!! i love brian so much and thought he was so funny and such a good first villain, but i also love my evil lich vogue twins

6) What was your favorite grand relic? Would you have been tempted by it?

my favorite is probably the animus bell, tho it wasn’t my fave until my most recent relistening. and oh yeah, something that would make me, essentially, immortal? i would’ve been super tempted

7) If you had to make a grand relic, what would it be? What power would it have?

i probably would have made something w/ jewerly, maybe a ring or earrings? or idk yet, i can’t think of anything cool, but ngl i think it would def having something similar to the animus bell. not That exactly, but something necrotic that, like, probably takes life energy to heal whoever is wielding it or takes life energy to feed their own

8) What moment/reveal shocked you the most?

UHHHHH “THE WORDLESS ONE” REVEAL HOLY FUCKING SHIT

9) Which “seven bird” would you have been? Or what would your role have been on the Starblaster?

ngl i think i would’ve been along the lines of “the lonely journal keeper” like!!! alligning with her role as the chronicler, i feel like that’s what i would have applied for

10) Would you have been able to make it through Wonderland?

oh definitely not. im ngl a bit… not selfish, but territorial of my things, idk what i would’ve been able to give up for the wheel, and i def wouldn’t have given up years of my life, and going for my looks would be a Hard Bargain and, even if i was in a world where i had magic, i don’t think i would’ve been strong enough to survive the challenges

11) What are some of the parts that made you the most emotional (whether it be crying, laughing, etc.)?

uhhh the magnulia cottage scene definitely, makes me sob every single time i hear it and, during my first time listening, that was what broke the damn and ended up having me cry for 30 solid minutes

12) Which track composed by Griffin was your favorite?

“madame director/lucretia/lucretia (reprise)” !!!!!

13) Which track not composed by Griffin was your favorite?

“salut d’amour” elgar!!!!!!!

14) Lucas’s Magical Institute or Taako’s Amazing School of Magic?

answered!!

15) What was your favorite cycle in Stolen Century?

not including the beach cycle bc i feel like that’s an obvi one, probably either the judges cycle or the conservatory

16) What were some of your favorite inventory items of tres horny boys?

the extreme teen bible, stephen the fish, chance lance, the umbrastaff, and the hole thrower!!

17) What animal would have been your “disguise” in Petals to the Metal?

answered!!!!

18) Are you more of a “Magnus rushes in,” “Merle follows along behind,” or “Taako’s good out here” type of person?

i think i’m a combination of “magnus rushes in” and “merle follows along behind” but tbh i Should be more “taako’s good out here”

19) Favorite Taako one-liner? Or favorites?

obviously “abraca-fuck you!”

“hey sheriff isaac, guess what time it is!” “what?” “fuck if i know!”

20) If you listen to the liveshows, do you have a favorite? Is there a particular liveshow you would love to see the McElroys do?

my favorite is a tie between san fran and new orleans!!!! and i would love to see them do something with carey and killian, like their bachelorette party or even a hangover-style live show where they lose one of the brides the day before the wedding akjskdk

21) In Wonderland, would you have been hesitant to “forsake” your opponents, or would you have done what you had to to get out?

okay ngl not to sound Terrible but if i was going up against strangers,,,,,, yeah i’d do what i had to do. it’s called the fucking suffering game not the fucking best friend game omfg

would i be able to betray my friends/companions tho??? i don’t think so, nope

22) Of the puzzles throughout the arcs, which one was your favorite?

answered!!!!

23) Would you have liked to see the dark timeline where Magnus took the chalice, or Magnus’s sidequest with Kravitz? Or are you happy with what actually ended up happening?

i love everything that happened in canon but i can admit that a magnus/kravitz sidequest would’ve been fucking sick

24) If given the option, would you have joined the Bureau of Balance? Would you have been a seeker, regulator, reclaimer, or something else?

tbh i think i would if i had to and i think i would have been a seeker

25) What magical item would you have made at the Arcaneum (from the Stolen Century)?

a cool sword!!!!! but, like, a magic sword

26) What is something, material or not, that you wouldn’t have been able to sacrifice in Wonderland?

i wouldn’t have given years off my life. i wouldn’t even have considered it

27) What would you have presented at the Conservatory?

i probably would have written something!!!!!

28) In Story and Song, many beloved NPCs made a return to take a final stand against the Hunger. Which one excited you the most?

HURLEY AND SLOANE!!!!

29) What was your reaction when Magnus was revealed to be a red robe, and then to the memories that followed?

i was so fucking confused but, like, in a good way, and so fucking shocked oh my god

30) What was your reaction when you found out who Lup was, and then to what happened to her?

answered!!!!

31) What was your reaction to Merle losing touch with Pan, and then to Pan’s return when the Planes were reconnected?

ngl it was pretty hard hitting and not for, like, any spiritual reason or anything, but just bc merle literally had Nothing at that point and i felt so bad for him and was so nervous but also “i’m not your pan, but you’ll always be my merle” is probably, without a doubt, one of my favorite taz quotes

32) Who are some characters that you would have liked to see interact more?

LUP AND LUCRETIA!!!!! @ GRIFFIN: LET THEM INTERACT MORE I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF IT’S JUST AN HOUR OF YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF

33) Flaming Raging Poisoning Sword of Doom or the Umbrastaff?

the umbrastaff!!!!

34) Something you learned from Balance?

that very rarely are there ever easy decisions, and that you have to give yourself time to love and love without boundaries because, even with the years and years people have, so much time can be spent not loving the people you have

also it taught me the type of writer i want to be, and honestly taz has inspired me so much to keep pursuing writing, even when i feel like finally giving in

35) Who?

i̶͎͈̞͆̄̾̄̕'̷̛̮̄̒̓͘m̵͍̖̜͂̔͛͘͝ ̶̡̦͙͍͋̑̂̅͠d̵̟̖̭̳̄͌́a̵̻̎̍͂̃̍v̸̲͇̮͊̽͒̚͝ḛ̵̳͔͗̊n̷̻̳͓͎̠͐p̷̰̘̘̭̗̈́̒ơ̵̪r̸͔̝̈̇͘͠t̸̫̠̯͗ ̴̨̛̖͕̟̦̀̏̂̚ḯ̸̜'̶̨̨̖̮̃̃̈́̿m̸͖̰̙̉̏̔̄́ ̵̺̊̓̃̽̓d̸̝̣̈͊a̶̩̪̖̝̽̚ṿ̴̝̙̣͈̐̊e̷̢̛̦̫̓̇͋n̸̨̖̽͐͊͗p̴̡̥͖̞̈́ͅö̵̭̼̘́͋̿ṟ̶͎͍͙͇͑̇̈̉͝t̸̢͕͓͓̠̆͊ ̷̛̟͕̂̌͛ĩ̶̤̺͕'̸̹͓͙̥̺̀ṃ̵̢̻͇̓̈́̚ͅ ̴̜͙͉̯͌̋̐͝d̴͈̜̐̀͘͝a̷̗̹̪͈̿v̴͔͓͑̕͠ȇ̸̞̲̇͛̕ǹ̶̬͉̼̫͂͌p̸͕͐o̵̮͝ŗ̸̘͝ṱ̷̤̫̀̓̉͂̑ ̵̝̞̩̆̍i̶͖̗͔̥̬͐͌̚͝'̸͍̍̋͜m̵̦̼͂͒ ̴̯̈̽͌̕d̶̮̾̀́ǎ̵̢̹̋͊̉̈v̶̨̟̼͓̅ͅḙ̴̟̼̒n̴̝̬͂̍͊͂̀p̶͔̗͂ơ̸̲̰̬̎̀͛̌r̷̬̞̱̍́́̉t̸͙̏͗̎̓̕ ̵̣̅ḭ̶̱̮͓̈͛̑͑'̸̫̞̣̬̊m̵̢̥̀ͅ

#reneewalkerofficial #answered #me #thank!!!#rae

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ofstaffs · 7 years ago

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steve steve was absolutely walking on air. the weather was amazing and he was enjoying it with the woman he loved. of course, it wasn't a totally perfect afternoon due to his endearing clumsiness. after his second time dropping the venue folder, they decided it was better if peggy carried it instead. other than that, it couldn't have been better. "i really like the meadow, if i'm being totally honest," he glanced at peggy as they walked under a cluster of trees in magnolia park. "but the park is fine too, of course."

steve: im screAMING

peggy: OM G CUITE

peggy: CUTIE

steve: the ghostbusters theme song came on while i was writing thiS

peggy: HAHAHAAHHA

peggy she didn't think it was possible for her to love him anymore. the bold and the brave captain america was stumbling over his own feet and dropping the folder each time he held onto it, papers flying everywhere, which required a ton of chasing. she hadn't laughed more in her whole life, and she was sure she had never been more infatuated with someone in her life. "i know, i do too. i just wanted to look around here to see if it was a backup choice," she explained, craning her neck to glance around.

peggy: lets just do them for a bit then ill bring rey in

steve: okie dokie

steve "you know, the first wedding i went to was out here." steve spoke, pointing at the patch of grass by the fountain. it wasn't exactly an enjoyable experience; they hardly knew the grooms and there was quite a bit of drama at the end of the night. he decided to leave out the fact that he brought a date to it. "you would have hated it. it ended in absolute chaos." he laughed quietly, knowing his future bride wasn't one to put up with people's shit.

peggy "oh, dear. maybe we shouldn't have it here, then. i don't want people to be reminded of bad memories when they come here," she said, biting her lip in concern. then she glanced up at him with a teasing smirk. "you know that if anyone tries to start /anything/ at our wedding that i'll deal with them myself." they couldn't exactly hire security; plus, they didn't need any. the groom was captain america, after all. "i don't think you'll let that happen, though," she winked.

peggy: omfg deans rper will not stop chatting me

peggy: like

steve: my ot4 tbh :,)))

peggy: actually

steve: im confused on how it all happened so fast

peggy: they kind of pushed it on kathryn and i

peggy: im convinced the mun is the same person

peggy: they're literally the SAME

steve: nO WAY

steve: mia's rper chats me a lot too so

peggy: yep

steve "i can only think of one person who'd be bothered." steve shrugged. that person was rey. she left early on in the ceremony and sprayed someone with beer when she returned. but at that point, he wasn't even sure if she'd show to his wedding. "i know you will." he grinned with a raised brow, tightening his grip on her hand lightly. him and peggy had already waited way too long for someone to ruin it. "hopefully everyone just keeps their issues to themselves."

steve: if somebody hijacks the steggy wedding i will take it ooc

steve: no shame

peggy: ya tru

steve: i feel like dia would tbh not trying to be rude

peggy "they better," peggy agreed with a firm nod, placing a hand on his cheek then slowly smiling again. "but i don't care if /everything/ goes wrong. as long as i get to be your wife at the end of the day. that's all i want. that's all i've ever wanted." she leaned up to kiss him softly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

peggy: BLESS

peggy: ok im gonna bring rey in]

rey joined the chat 2 hours ago

steve: yaaaasssssssss

rey getting some fresh air was nice, as her dispute with derek was still ongoing, and she felt like she had the opportunity to really clear her mind of everything. until she stumbled across a couple. as soon as she saw the red and blue clothes (did they plan that or did they always just coincidentally dress that way?), she knew exactly who it was. she clenched her jaw but let out a sigh and tried to walk past without her face being seen, tilting it away as much as possible.

steve: does steve stop her orrrrrrrrrrrrr

peggy: probs

peggy: i didnt know how else to bring her in lmao

steve "trust me, you'll be my wife no matter what. even if it means i have to become a minister and do it myself." he chuckled against her lips, gladly welcoming the kiss. naturally, he got too carried away, wrapping his arms around her waist and stumbling back slightly. he didn't even think about anyone else in the park until he felt his back brush against another person. "oh, geez. i'm sorry about that," the avenger apologized to this person behind him, before he quickly realized who it was. "rey?"

steve: i just did that instead whooops

peggy: nice

peggy peggy pulled away as soon as steve did, glancing at the person he had, literally, bumped into. uh oh. hopefully he wouldn't be recognized. she smiled apologetically and began to say sorry when steve said the girl's name. peggy's smile faded as she stared up at him, then chuckled softly. "is-is this a friend of yours?" she asked quietly, nervous about the expression on his face.

rey oh, great. clumsy steve, back at it again. she rolled her eyes and turned to him, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. she was sure she looked horrific, given she'd been bedridden for five days, but finally seeing peggy in person for the first time shocked her most of all. she really did look like her. at peggy's question, she just glared up at steve again before firmly replying, "nope."

rey: ouch

steve: damn steve, back at it again

peggy: i kept saying that in my head while writing jrc

peggy: jfc

steve "uh..." he stammered, glancing between rey and peggy. oh god, they looked so much alike he was getting confused. he genuinely did not know what to say. rey and him had a large falling out, sure, but they were so close. they were still friends in his eyes, best friends even. his eyes narrowed at her once she spoke. "no. she's tony's friend."

steve: yiggity yikes

peggy peggy's shoulders straightened at steve's words, and she stood protectively at his side, hand on his arm. "tony stark is no friend to us. it is obvious that steve doesn't want you around, so i recommend that you keep walking before i have to take action."

steve: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

rey rey couldn't tear her eyes away from steve. her expression was a mixture of heartbreak, anger, jealousy, and distress. she missed him, but seeing him with peggy angered her beyond belief. she clenched her fists at her sides as peggy spoke to her, then raised her eyebrows. "believe me, i think that's the best idea, seeing the last time i spoke to your fiancé, he threw a coffee table across the room."

rey: riP

rey: sry im replying so fast im like trying to do this fuc kn g study guide

rey: WHY DID I PORCRASITINA

rey: ETE

steve: UR DUMB

steve: WHAT CLASS IS IT FOR

peggy: US HISTORY

peggy: FML

steve: WRITE STEVE ROGERS FOR EVERY ANSWER

peggy: O K

peggy: ITS OPTIONAL TOO

peggy: BUT ITS 20 PTS EXTRA CREDIT

peggy: KMS

steve steve was stupid to think this day wasn't going to get ruined. he expected the cops would have something to do with it, not rey. not his /best friend/. he glanced at peggy once she spoke, but rey was already retorting before he could catch up. "that's enough." the expression on his face was enough to kill. no more clumsy, adorable steve. rey awakened the beast that was captain america. "so where's derek this lovely afternoon?"

peggy peggy's head snapped up to glare at steve slightly. "so /that's/ what happened? you threw a coffee table because you were angry?" she asked in disbelief. but the expression on his face was not allowing for any chastisement at that moment, so she turned back to rey, watching her carefully. obviously she had done something to make steve, sweet, kind-hearted steve, angry and she didn't like it one bit.

steve: http://66.media.tumblr.com/902d809ec25de... LOOK AT THIS

rey "he's at home. i wanted to go on a walk, so here i am." she'd only mumbled a few words to derek before leaving, but she didn't tell him that. she was too afraid he'd poke fun at her for having a failing relationship. two at the same time. just in very different ways. "oh, but i see you two are planning your wedding. you know, that's funny. the last time steve was at a wedding, he brought along a date. but i'm sure he's told you that."

peggy: DED

peggy: REY ST OP

steve "yes. but you should let rey tell you what she said to make me so angry." he spoke through gritted teeth. he could almost hear rey's angry outburst about peggy and bucky leaving him. his hand flew up to his nose, pinching the bridge of it as she continued to spill like an immature child. "i brought natasha romanoff, my colleague. interesting that you bring up the wedding, rey. recall your little beer incident?" two could play that game.

steve: steve rn: (ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง

peggy "yes, i /would/ like to know that," peggy snapped to rey, crossing her arms firmly across her chest. anyone who upset steve had to deal with her. "i understand. you didn't want to be alone at the wedding. i get it," she assured him then turned back to rey, furrowing her eyebrows as steve brought up one of /her/ issues.

peggy: omg steve should do like a rly low blow

peggy: and then rey will just strt cr ying

peggy: bc i need them to make up

steve: how low u talkin

peggy: as low as u want

steve: idk how low i can go

steve: damn is this limbo

peggy: truth

peggy: idk like her being abandoned by her family or smth

peggy: or her problems with derek

peggy: or her family issues

peggy: rey has a lot of things to use against her ok

steve: i'll talk about her trying to get derek to propose cause i got an anon bout it

peggy: make it bad tho

peggy: or else rey will just be angrier

rey rey's eyes widened slightly as her expression darkened. now /he/ was digging. this was bad, and was surely not going to end well. she wished she had derek here to back her up. if he even would at this point. "well YOU'RE the one who had feelings for me while you said you were in love with /her/!" she exclaimed, motioning carelessly to peggy.

steve "why don't you tell her." steve looked down at his friend demeaningly, unable to bring himself to repeat her words. "at least i don't have to beg the love of my life to get marry me. i know who i love, rey, and you're sure as hell not one of those people when you act like this." the captain spat, grabbing his fiance's hand. "let's go, peg."

peggy: shIT

steve: shawty got low low low low low low

peggy "is that true?" peggy tried to ask steve after rey explained how he had feelings for her. if so... that was shocking. extremely. but at steve's words, she froze. ouch. that was a harsh one. but it was necessary. so peggy swallowed thickly and held on tightly to steve's hand before turning and beginning to walk away with him.

rey no... he couldn't have just said that. had he? he /had/. he didn't love her. once upon a time they were inseparable, spending every day together. first he had used derek against her, and then he outright said he didn't love her. not even as a friend. her hands clasped over her mouth in shock as her eyes fell shut, not even acknowledging them anymore. silently, she began to sob as she slowly crumpled to her knees on the ground, slightly ripping the comfortable pajama pants she had on, decorated with stars. she hated this. she wanted her best friend back.

steve "it was." he admitted swiftly, avoiding her glance. it was before he knew peggy was alive. it was a mistake, all of it was. she had a boyfriend anyway. right as he's ready to turn on his heel, rey falls to the ground in front of them. at first he thinks she's hurt, so he accesses her body quickly until he realizes she's just crying. oh no. was it really that harsh? his jaw clenched as her scene attracted attention from civilians in the park. "rey... just get up, okay?"

peggy "steve," peggy gasped as soon as she saw rey fall to the ground. they were friends at one point; and she knew steve wouldn't want to see his friends hurt. even though it was obvious she was just crying, she knew steve would still want to help. maybe. so she stayed back but watched carefully as he approached her again, hoping things wouldn't get worse from here.

rey rey simply ignored them both, covering her face with her hands and tucking her knees to her chest as she continued to cry. after all they had gone through together... that was what he now thought of her? simply because she was jealous? sure she had said some things that went over the edge, but he knew she hadn't meant them. but his words... he meant each and every one. and she didn't care that he was now seeing her break down right in front of his eyes. she couldn't hide her sorrow anymore. she cried even harder as she leaned forward slightly, threading her fingers into her hair.

steve steve pursed his lips, sending peggy one last apologetic glance before crouching down next to rey. he wish he could comfort her like he used to, but it felt too unfamiliar to him at the moment. "c'mon, rey. get up." he curled his hands around her forearms, making sure to be gently while he pulled her to stand. he meant the words in the heat of the moment, but now he was beginning to regret them. "i didn't mean it, alright?"

peggy peggy nodded her head swiftly as her eyes saddened. she knew he had to take care of this. he needed as many friends as he could get here in magnolia, seeing as they had enough enemies. and she didn't want one friendship to be ruined because of some simple jealousy. she kept some distance, but watched closely with a sympathetic expression as he tried to apologize.

rey "no... no..." rey cried as he, literally, tugged her up to her feet. it took a few moments for her to get a stable stance on the ground, but when she finally did, she began wiping at her eyes as her sobs became almost completely silent. "y-you did- you-..." she tried to say, but only wept harder, wiping at her eyes yet again and trying to move out of his grip. she was beyond humiliated and ashamed now and just wanted to go back inside where no one could see her.

peggy: wtf im tearing up

peggy: this is rly sad but its also bc of this study guide LMAO

peggy: but mostly bc of this bc aw

peggy: i miss my bbs

steve: omg dont crrrrrrrrrrrry

steve: im sobbing this sad ass song just came on my shuffle i feel it

peggy: right omfg

steve: speaking of shuffle wdyt about the plot shuffle

peggy: what about it

peggy: did they post it

steve: no they just talk about it when they get clique qs

peggy: oh lmao tru

steve: ive never done one b4

peggy: idk ugh

peggy: bc i dont want rey or peggy to be stuck with chars they've never interacted with

peggy: fml

steve: same dude

steve: can u imagine if peggy and negan had to be 2gether

peggy: riP

peggy: steve would be freaking tf out the whole time

steve: steve would literally bust through every door in magnolia to get to peggy

peggy: i love him what a nerd

steve the expression on rey's face caused an ache to spread through his chest. "i didn't, i-i swear." he murmured softly, struggling to hold back the lump in his throat. he couldn't believe he let his anger get the best of him and cause this. the last time he saw rey this upset, it had something to do with snoke. she was right, he lost everyone he loved. he always did. he looked back at peggy with forlorn eyes, almost as if he was making sure she was still there.

steve: im cryin

steve: ldr just came on im gonna fight

peggy: whats ldr

steve: lana del rey

peggy "it's okay," peggy mouthed to him when he turned to look at her, making a silent promise that she wasn't leaving anytime soon, unless he asked for privacy with rey. she understood that she wouldn't understand their friendship, and she didn't try to. it was for them, and none of her business. unless steve was being hurt.

peggy: nice

rey "you /did/, you did," rey sobbed, beating her fist weakly against his chest two times then just crying again. maybe if she wasn't so weak from the concussion, bruised ribs, and all the medication she was on, then she would've run away by now. or maybe she just didn't really want to run away. she wanted to stay, to bring back what they once had. "l-leave me alone," she pleaded anyway, attempting to tug her arms out of his grip, to no avail.

steve he let her hit him once again, her fists rekindling memories from their last fight. "stop, s-stop!" he curled his hands around hers, pushing them away from him. "stop this! stop trying to fight me, rey. i don't wanna fight anymore!" who would have thought, steve rogers, the kid who would fight anything or anyone, begging to avoid a quarrel.

steve: im screAMI

peggy: riP

peggy "steve," peggy gasped when he raised his voice, immediately stepping to his side and placing a hand on his shoulder. but she didn't stop him from speaking to her. he wanted this solved, and she didn't blame him. so she let it continue, and would only step in if things got really bad.

rey "then why would you /say/ that to me?" rey sobbed in distress, trying desperately to tug her hands out of his, though, obviously, that was impossible. he surely wasn't even using half his strength and she was using everything she had in her weak body. "y-you don't want to be my friend, you-you don't love me anymore..."

peggy: im em o

peggy: r u here

steve: IM HERE

peggy: YEET

steve "i'm sorry," steve looked down, letting his head hang low. he was apologizing to both of them at this point for losing his temper and control. "yes i do, rey! i never said that," his eyes were wide in confusion, "do you even want to be my friend? every time we're near each other we fight!"

peggy "it's okay, steve. m-maybe we should take this somewhere more private, though," peggy whispered, noting how people were beginning to stare at the three of them. if steve was recognized... the location of the wedding would be the smallest issue.

rey "of COURSE i do! i-... i miss you..." rey admitted, her voice thinning out to hardly nothing as she said it, finally peeking her eyes up to look up into his own. then she sobbed again as she shook her head. "but-but not after you said that. n-no... y-you meant every word... e-every word..."

peggy: midnight rip

peggy: and still working on this piece of shit.

steve: jesus h christ

steve steve nodded, instantly cooling down when he heard her voice. peggy was his happy place. any place, any situation; if peggy was there, he could do anything. "no i didn't, rey." his brow furrowed and his face fell once again. "let's go home, okay? come with us."

peggy peggy held onto steve's arm gently, though he was still holding a fragile rey up. she wondered to herself why she looked so sickly, but kept her thoughts to herself as she led them both inside, and up to their apartment. "i'll get some waters," she offered and stole a kiss when rey wasn't looking before moving into the kitchen to do so.

rey rey didn't want to go to their house, to where the two of them spent their time together. but the stress was overwhelming and she needed to sit down, but she didn't want to go to her home just yet. she still wanted desperately to fix things with steve. she let him practically pull her up the stairs and past the door, feeling too weak to do so at that point.

steve "okay." steve whispered quietly against her lips. he lead rey's weak frame to the couch, passing over the spot where the coffee table used to be. "-uh, are you alright?" he questioned, refusing to let go of the grip on her arm.

peggy "you don't seem too well," peggy agreed, bringing over a glass of water for each of them and setting it on the little makeshift table they had in place of the coffee table. she knelt before them and looked worriedly up at steve, silently asking him what was going on.

rey "yes," rey exhaled as he sat them down on the couch, closing her eyes and bringing her hands to her head. "i... d-derek and i were pushed down a flight of stairs... i hit my head and got knocked out. and bruised a couple of ribs... w-we went to the hospital and now i'm on five different kinds of medication..."

steve steve shook his head at peggy's questioning look. he had no idea what was going on. whatever it was, it was more than just her being upset. she looked horribly fatigued. "what?!" he exclaimed loudly. the floorboards in the house might as well vibrated at his staccato.

peggy: omg steeb my bb

steve: he cares so much about his girls

steve: peggy, rey, nat, wanda

peggy peggy's hands came up to her mouth at rey's admission, looking over at steve in shock. oh, no. she knew her steve; and she knew the guilt would hit him /hard/ after this. "i-i'll get some ice," she whispered immediately and jumped up, jogging to the kitchen to get some ice to cool rey down.

rey for some reason, she assumed steve had known about her injuries. but how could he possibly? they hadn't spoken in weeks. "i-i'm sorry, i thought you knew..." she admitted honestly, nodding in appreciation as peggy went to get her ice. then she moved her hair out of the way so steve could see the stitched up gash near her temple, with sweat-soaked bandages covering it.

rey: im emo

steve way to go, steve. he felt absolutely terrible for everything at this point. all previous guilt he had was superimposed at her admission. "o-oh, god, rey. i'm so sorry." his gaze fell to his hands, which he quickly retracted from her forearms and placed in his lap. once peggy returned with the ice, he gave peggy his best attempt at a smile.

peggy peggy knelt in front of them yet again as she finished wrapping the bag of ice in a paper towel, giving a small, hesitant smile back to steve. "back of your neck, darling," she said to rey, handing it over carefully. any friend of steve's was a friend of hers. she was choosing to look past their differences, as they obviously wanted to as well.

rey rey shook her head. "i-it's okay, i should've told you..." she whispered, feeling bad that she'd, accidentally, of course, kept him in the dark about it all. it was why she couldn't stand up when he told her to, why she couldn't leave when all she wanted to do was run away. but maybe it helped them reconcile in the end. "thank you..." she whispered to peggy and placed the pack on the back of her neck, leaning back against the couch pillow with a slow exhale.

peggy: LAST PAGE

peggy: ITS SO LIT

steve steve instantly sat up from his spot once peggy administered the ice. she didn't need to be on the floor anyways. "i don't blame you." after the whole coffee table mess, who would want to speak to him? he acted like a complete and utter fool in their apartment and in the park. "i'm sorry."

steve: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

peggy "no, no, no," peggy mouthed reassuringly, shaking her head and helping him to sit again. "you sit, i'm okay." obviously rey wanted, or needed, his support right now, and she was sure he needed hers as well. they had just come back together, after all.

rey rey opened her eyes and looked sorrowfully over at steve, shaking her head gently. "don't apologize, it's my fault too... i-i didn't mean anything i said either, i just wanted your attention again..." she admitted. speaking of... she looked down at peggy sadly. "i-i'm sorry i was so jealous... it led me to do things that i wouldn't usually do. bad things, and it wrecked my relationship with the best friend i've ever had. so i'm sorry..."

steve steve responded to peggy's refusal with a tight lipped nod. "you didn't wreck anything." he murmured with sad eyes. "i shouldn't have got angry when you told me what you did. i acted the same way when you were with derek."

peggy: omg wtf when did u get here

peggy peggy smiled kindly and nodded to rey, gently patting her knee. "it's alright... everything's all better now," she reassured her with a light, soothing tone. obviously she and steve were very close, and it made her sad to think that they'd spent so much time apart because of peggy herself.

rey right... derek. that was a whole other ordeal that she still had to sort through. her eyes closed slowly as she let out a heavy sigh, readjusting the ice pack on the back of her neck. "i don't know what's going on with us now..." she admitted quietly, peeking up at steve again. "i want to be married to him... /so/ badly, but... but he's still not ready yet. and it's been /two months/... we've known each other for three of them... he doesn't understand that i haven't had a real connection with anyone for fifteen years... i don't want to waste anymore time in my life..."

8 notes · View notes

enniewritesathing · 7 years ago

Note

John: 2, 4, 8, 10, 11, 13, 17, 18, 21, 26, 29, 46, 48, 49

thank you

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness?

Believe it or not, he used to be real insecure about his looks, especially when he was younger. Before the glo-up (or rather, before his voice broke), he used to get made fun of how his hair made him look like a girl (”Hey Jake, what’s your sister doing here??”) or his lips being compared to a fish. “Johnny Fishy Lips, Fish Lips” etc. (His brother, not so much. They’re twins.) Or honestly, not bearing a lot of ‘white’ features (quote his grandparents on his dad’s side – yikes), or on how brown they’d get during the summer. He never quite understood why adults looked at him and his brother funny when they were with their parents – Noelle being Filipino and his dad is white and… there was some unfortunate-ness to that because they look mostly like their mom and none dad, and it was assumed that his dad got tricked or some shit or insert racist shit. At one point, he asked them if he and his brother were adopted; it’s caused John to be very shy and defensive and even gotten into a few fights because of it.

After the glo-up, it became way less of an insecurity because he’s learned to own up to everything about himself, and he also grew into his features. He still got snide comments about his lips and that he probably wouldn’t be a good kisser because of it. Pffft.

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical)

John loves how resilient Brian is. He came from a pretty bad family situation and Brian choosing to rise above that and be a better person for it? Amazing! (And then there’s karma and Brian is p e t t y knowing that what goes around, comes around).

John’s a fan of Brian’s legs. They’re very shapely and John loves to run his fingers the length of them, and just do a lot of things with them.

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it?

His biggest flaw is that he can be really stubborn, and to get him out of that is to frame whatever he’s stubborn about in such a way is to escalate it. I would also say when he gets a strong (negative) emotion, it’s hard to get him out of that state because it overwhelms him. He’s aware of both and he’s working on it; if he has strong feelings about something, he’ll remove himself if he can.

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine?

John’s fairly masculine, he’s not like “RAWR I’M A MAN HEAR MY DEEP ASS VOICE AND WATCH ME EAT THE HELL OUT OF THIS STEAK”. Or, he’s not toxic about it. He’s subtle with the way he dresses, anything with a V-neck or schmedium shirts (he swears it’s not intentional, but Brian begs to differ). A lot of people think he’s hella feminine because of his long hair and how he looks in general but, it’s really not the case. He just likes to take care of himself.

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage?

If someone threatens Brian or his mom in any way. He’ll probably break bones behind that for real and he can do that real easily.

13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker?

70% healthy. He can get anywhere between 6-8 hours on a good night, but since he loves naps, it can get pretty wild. He’s a heavy sleeper so, hardly anything can wake him up. John’s given up on stealing blankets from Brian, even the sheets so he just sticks a foot underneath the burrito and be done with it. He used to sleep walk, but he mostly grew out of it. I say mostly because he would sit up and stare at nothing or Brian for a while, then go back to sleep.

17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children?

Absolutely @ both of them. He and Brian actually talked about it several times, casual at first and even a joke or two (”omg just marry me” “huh?” “what??)” and then hypotheticals ‘okay so picture this–’ and then, ‘y’know, we’ve been through some tough shit together…’ so, he’s sort of waiting to pop the question.

Fatherhood makes him a little nervous because his dad died when he was young and other than his uncle who stepped in that role (and he’s a little problematic), he doesn’t have any male guidance. He would be the type of dad to read a lot of guidebooks and go to classes (”omg is that supposed to happen???”) or be worried about every single thing.

Fun fact!: At the end of Bare Knuckle, I wanted to do an epilogue/timeskip ending with John telling the whole thing to the kids (they ended up having a boy (the oldest) and twins – a boy and a girl. The twins were a surprise in that they were expecting the girl and come delivery time ‘yeah no you got a boy too’ “WHAT?!” ) and they’re like ‘papa, that’s wild as hell’.

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode?

He’s actually living in it now, lol. The house is medium sized, but the lot is HUGE. It’s right on the water with a private beach. The house has a quiet area/sunroom (which is what he’s wanted in particular anyway), and the yard is really big enough to put just about anything and everything in it. At some point, he’d like a small garden to tend to, a study area for Brian, maybe a pool?

21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear?

His biggest fear is not being able to live a long life; he wants to be old. Both sides of his family, the men tend to not live that long due to whatever reason. John gets a little anxious when he gets super sick because of what happened to his brother, so he listens to Brian when he tells him he needs to slow down and take meds. As for fighting, he’s less apt to take bigger risks – he puts more thought into it instead of ‘eh, I can take it’.

26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc?

John likes to think that Brian is like an onion – he has many layers. Some layers are tougher than others. Sex is really dependant on how Brian feels since his needs is on the low side; foreplay is a requirement but John doesn’t mind because he’s all about spending time and peeling back the proverbial onion layers Brian has. In fact, he’s learned to be patient with Brian. He feels like he could be a little more adventurous, so once in a while he’d ask Brian if he wants to top (even though John can sort of take him) or ask for a ~special~ night where he’s subbing and let him do whatever. It turns out that that’s a major turn on for Brian, and when he’s feeling very touchy-feely, John lets him. Brian has told him that he feels a little selfish that he wants to use John sometimes, and he’s like ‘no, please, go ahead!; if you wanna do some nasty things, I’m down!’ Brian think he isn’t that good, but John is pretty vocal and lets him know he’s doing right.

Brian has became more bold in his advances and demands (turns out he’s pretty bossy lol) and a couple of times, John had to ask for a raincheck (”I am with you in spirit but my dick ain’t having it”) – but that’s what toys are for. In fact, he has a collection and when the drives or work schedules are really off, then that’s always an option.

Sex isn’t sex but it’s more like the smaller things and how they really feel about each other. And then there are the times Brian wants John to fuck the stress out of him… he’ll do what he can, lol.

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one?

When options to treat Jacob’s cancer were dwindling, John pretty much tried to sacrifice his own body up for anything that needed for him to get better, or at least try to have a better fighting chance. He got the gist of a lot of what was happening, but it really came down to this: “He’s my brother. We’re supposed to protect each other.”

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

John has a tendency to roll up on Brian, and like does what the cat does sometimes and gently head bunts him and when Brian reacts, he kisses him either on the cheek or forehead and acting like nothing happened OR he waits a bit to read him and see where it goes. Or random kisses. It can get tricky because Brian is a little taller, so he always grabs his head and just *smooch* on his forehead. (He knows that that’s his favorite aside from neck kisses)

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious?

John’s not really the type to get jealous or anything like that. He likes it when Brian smiles, no matter what the source of it is.

49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood?

John has vivid nightmares either about trying to rescue his brother from whatever and then when he gets within a very short distance, Jacob just dies, or the nightmares about being medicinally tortured, not being able to protect Brian and/or watch him die, or ‘fighting’ and him being greviously injured. They used to be real frequent to the point of being diagnosed with nightmare disorder. Now, they don’t happen so much because he knows all of the triggers and how to avoid them, and if they do happen, he knows none of it is real (even if they do feel like they are).

It fucks him up emotionally every time, and it takes him a while to calm down, from removing himself immediately to just talking it out or even cry about it.

#ennie answers #storybooksimblr #a text post #non sims #ask memes #hi it's me the fucker who treats questions like essay questions #i hope ya'll like to read lol #long post #oc: john

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bellesdomain · 7 years ago

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Starlight Express Workshop - Thurs 14th Sept

Let me preface this with my overall impressions - this show was fantastic in many ways, the performances were all amazing, the band was fantastic, the staging was remarkably full and entertaining given the circumstances! It was an absolutely fascinating experience, I’m so glad I had the chance to go - and that I’m going again to see how it develops further.

But as reviews like this are bound to, this is all going to come across as very negative - but I want to start off emphasising how much I enjoyed it overall!

The theatre is a small, steeply raked auditorium, with a thrust stage about level with the 3rd row. The stairways on either side were accessible from the stage and used in the performance. There’s a gantry upstage, which forms a platform for the 8 piece band and Control - yup, live Control onstage. He had fabulous glowing headphones and an Ipad that seemed to be a racing game - I think it also included his script! Generally I am very anti-live Control, when it comes to non-replica productions - since the entire show takes place in his imagination, he exists on a different plane to the action therefore they shouldn’t interact. But given the fluid nature of this workshop, pre-recording the kid would be impossible so it worked ok!

The show opened with Andrew Lloyd Webber and Arlene Phillips giving us the context of the evening. Lloyd Webber explained how they’d workshopped “School of Rock” in a similar manner - no big automation, complex lighting cues or costume changes, just establishing the story telling. Great concept! And the venue “The Other Palace” theatre in Victoria, is being run for precisely this function.

Lloyd Webber also told us how he and Arlene Phillips had visited the German production for the English Gala, and he hardly recognised the show they were performing as his work. And indeed, I was also at the English Gala and suddenly hearing the material in its original language made the inconsistencies and plot holes glaringly obvious! So the point of this workshop is to see if they can get the show back into shape for a future production, as well as the German production’s 30th anniversary next May.

The show opened in a familiar manner, Control (playing with his ipad), sent to bed by his Mother. She sings her lullaby, the melody is taken up by the mouth organ. The Overture modulates, repeats, swells, in the fans’ mind’s eye you see the shadowy figures skating around the set - and then Control interrupts with “Stop that Boring Music!” And begins to introduce the National Engines.

I think it’s fair to say this change is getting a bit of negative feedback. That overture is the literal HEART of the show, it’s the preview of the Starlight Sequence, it’s the title song melody. It’s the magic happening, as Control falls asleep and we enter his dreamscape. The Overture alone will literally draw people to tears. To have Control dismiss it as “boring music” is crass, insensitive, and a tonal mis-fire, alienating Control from the audience. In other words, he’s a brat!

Entry of the National Trains is always a clunky way to start the show, these minor characters are so unimportant to the plot. Placing the scene later, before AC/DC, makes for better story telling, as the audience have already established who’s important and it contextualises Electra’s entrance as we’re calling forward the competitors for the race. Anyway, the workshop has given us some new names for the Nationals - Bobo the French train is now the feminine Coco, which works well. The German Engine is now named after Wagner’s opera das Rheingold. Rather than fix the dated and embarrassing reference, the Japanese train is still Nintendo. And the British train is now “Brexit” - which is as topical a joke, and I suspect will last in the public conscious about as well as his APT designation did. Yeah, that’s the point. Nobody remembers! A very quickly dated reference. There were a few of them throughout the night, so hopefully they’ll be reconsidered. Rolling Stock - Oliver Tompsett as Greaseball, greased back hair and stubble, was hilarious and a bit menacing - would probably be more menacing if I weren’t so steeped in his performances from Rock of Ages! The strangest thing here though, was it. Was. so. Slow. There’s a strange quirk that the 1984 original cast recording has the Rolling Stock track at a stodgy plod - as if an LP record is played on the wrong setting! And this is what they decided to replicate live. The performances were all brilliant, the ensemble mugging it up as their Nationals, it was hilarious and engaging, but why so slow? As far as I know, it wasn’t performed that slow in 1984, it’s just a quirk of the recording - but Andrew Lloyd Webber obviously approved of this!

Second number in was Crazy. Throughout, Crazy and Call Me Rusty have been mixed up and cut together - along with remnants of Engine of Love in there as well. It works, sort of, plot-wise it’s exactly like Engine of Love, here’s young Rusty and the coaches. There’s a lovely bit of contextualisation where Control explains “Rusty is the first train I got when I was six” which grounds us as these are his toys. Then into Crazy. George Ure as Rusty may have dried on his opening lyrics, but a bit of ad-libbing and he was back on track. Christina Bennington as Pearl got straight in there with the high option for Pearl’s “Til someone better comes along”.

Greaseball, Nationals come in to bully Rusty, and the coaches all stick up for him, however Pearl makes the point that she’s not actually Rusty’s partner, flirting with Greaseball. Then we have a version of “Call Me Rusty”, the short version used in Vegas I believe, layering “Call me Rusty if you dare. Call me Rusty if you like…” with the coaches still having the mid break from the original but with some new lyrics from Pearl about “we’re just friends”. Rusty is sent to fetch the trucks, and we have the original intro into Locomotion, “Rusty/can’t/be serious, him/go in/for the race?” but then there was some new material, Greaseball flirting with Pearl, saying “woowoowoo you’re brand new!” Dinah comes forward to warn him off Pearl but she gets sent to “go make the tea” by Greaseball and the Nationals. Here’s where we’re introduced to Tassita (shhh she’s a quiet coach and doesn’t like loud noises), and we go into the new song to “introduce” the coaches, “I Got Me (and that’s all I need)” This song felt to me like there’s some School of Rock type influence. It’s very “I can do what I like” independent rock chick. It’s not a bad song, but it doesn’t serve the purpose of introducing these characters at all, plus the pedantic mind says that these girls are railway coaches - and coaches DO need an engine. Sorry to break the vibe but coaches aren’t independent - but you can easily argue the case that an engine without coaches is as useless as coaches without an engine. The song ended quite abruptly to muted applause, but launched straight into a reprise, which was then interrupted by the Freight train.

Freight ran exactly as the 1992 London, with all the banter from the coaches, which was particularly entertaining despite being such very familiar lyrics. Whether it was due to the small ensemble, or an effort to address the gender imbalance in the show, Hopper 3 was female, and she was having a great time of it. Sadly no return of the Rockies, the Hip Hoppers are about the only remaining remnant of the contributions made by David Yazbek in 2003. The only new moment in the number was one of the most jarring changes - Caboose is included, but rather than introduce himself using the “There’s Me” melody (“at the back on every piece of track…” Being “All alone, you think you’re on your own…”) no, the Red Caboose comes straight in with “Wide Smile, High Style” melody, telling us straight off that he’s in the business of wrecking trains. His characterisation was very much aggressive, nasty and scary! No pretense at the sweet and helpful Caboose that anyone would trust, this guy is clearly one to avoid. Caboose made a point about being paid to do his job.

Straight after Freight, we have Control announcing technical problems… oh boy! A late entry! These must be his minders! Kilowatt is Electra’s security truck. Wrench is the repair truck, Purse the money truck ordered us to switch your accounts to Electra. Again money is an active concept in this world. Joule and Volta followed - male Volta, as with Hopper 3 is this a limitation of the size of ensemble?

Electra appeared in towering red velour heels, fishnet stockings under a conventional masculine ensemble of slacks and jacket. Liam Tamne has an incredible voice, great range and strength and falsetto! But his characterisation flat for my personal taste for Electra, and also really reminded me of someone else, a character on TV perhaps. He was very flamboyant and self-indulgent.

AC/DC is interrupted suddenly, as Greaseball appears. The coaches, who 10 mins earlier were making such a point of not needing no man, especially Dinah getting up in the faces of the Nationals to protect Pearl, undergo a complete 180 on their characters, turning to the regular excited fangirls we’re used to seeing in Pumping Iron. This felt especially wrong given Dinah’s “Back off girls, he’s mine!” - really? Is he? Because you were defending your girls from his flirting just now, and showed no suggestion of a relationship between Dinah and Greaseball other than antagonism. The earlier scene is massively out of character for Dinah.

Oliver Tompsett rocked Pumping Iron, of course, it’s easy to appreciate why the girls are all fangirling over him. The two female components stayed to dance, while Electra and his boys left in a huff. This was one scene where the minimal staging fell flat, as the dance break needs some rock’n’roll partner work, skates or not.

Coda Freight ran much as expected, the confrontation between Greaseball and Electra was extended by the two of them sharing the lines usually sung by the Nationals, as they mock Rusty’s intent to join the race. Coda Freight originally did not modulate key - the German production is one where it drops into a lower key which always jars. But this time we get a modulation UP a key, which is different! But not necessary, it’s quite busy enough staying in one key.

Control announces five minutes to race time, and “if you ain’t in twos, you lose”. This is where we would expect to find Crazy, and indeed we have a reprise of the number where Rusty approaches Pearl, but she rebuffs him with something about “don’t push me around”. But then their conversation follows the coaches’ melody from “Call me Rusty”, as she explains in no uncertain terms that while she likes him she wants an engine of the future. Then they are interrupted by Electra’s Bodyguard Kilowatt (shall we just call him K?) who explains Electra’s coach has a “Migraine”. Pearl has her dilemma, and will let Electra know.

Pearl has a new intro to “Make Up My Heart”, written to the “diddlydiddly” pre-race music (also used by Caboose pre-”Wide Smile”), as she discusses how Electra seems fun, then she had an echo of “He Whistled At Me” - which I think was the only occurrence of that/”Engine of Love” melody. Then that disjointed selection of melodies led into the full “Make Up My Heart” number, as performed on the 1992 London recording.

Control starts the races, with a comment about “I’ll pick your partners for you”. A new addition for the races which grew very tedious almost immediately, each engine as they’re introduced, sings the “Clear my track, this is my train now, this could be my dream, clear my track” fragment of “No Comeback” that Pearl sings in “Laughing Stock” - each with their own lyrics of course. But hearing that same fragment four times in a row was repetitive, and annoying given that that melody is meant to specifically refer to Electra. The concept of melodies referring to specific characters and event - the use of leitmotif - has more or less been lost, apart from a few occasions which shows that while they COULD use the concept, they choose not to! Race 1 ends up with a Dead Heat between Greaseball and Electra, with only the “No Comeback” melody appearing in the race music.

As the racers clear away, we have a mopey Rusty with the “Call me Rusty” melody on the mouth organ, as he approaches the Freight yard and “Momma” is singing The Blues. Mica Paris was poorly served by the existing score - while the major solos are within a reasonable alto range, most of Poppa’s recit is well below an alto. However her character, and the staging for the number was really engaging and fun, and included Caboose mooching in the background. Caboose has always seemed notable by his absence from this scene of the Freight - I presume the practical reason is that Caboose has just finished racing so to make him immediately be onstage but purely for context would be unkind. But within the world of the show, why is Caboose not hanging out with the rest of the freight? Momma’s response after “Let me hear you say Steam!” - the Starlight Express melody - is “When the Night is Darkest” rather than “When Your Goodnights have been Said”, which probably only coincidentally is kinder on her vocal range. But it’s slightly odd in a production that draws so heavily from the previous London productions, to bring in the Broadway variation of the title song. Control interrupts to inform us of heat 2, Momma decided to race and ends up with Dustin much as is familiar from other productions. The exact reason was unclear but Brexit meant the British train was missing, allowing Momma to race.

Race Two again seemed to have Control decide the race partners, and again repeated the “Clear my Track” melody, except Momma introduced herself with the Coaches’ “I got Me” melody which seems to be pretty random for an old Steamer. It was also incorporated into the race music.

After Race 2, into Laughing Stock, played much as normal, but with one small 1984 detail restored - Momma points out Rusty “Couldn’t face that losing shame!” rather than Rusty admitting his own weakness, or the line being omitted altogether.

Starlight Express - the title song closed act 1 with an unexpectedly subtle edit, new lyrics to the “When the Night is Darkest” melody. I’m not absolutely sure new lyrics were needed for this number, but they’re evocative and very much in keeping with the scene and Rusty’s emotional journey.

(And we have the interval. Go get a glass of wine. You’ll need it.)

Act 2 begins with The Rap - entirely a capella, started by Hoppers “Are you Ready?” which updated lyrics. The Coaches come in with something like “Swipe to the left? Swipe to the right? Who will be my date tonight?” which feels like it’ll date very quickly. It was a mix between the 1992 Rap in structure, “Gotta be in the frame if you’re gonna win the game, are you ready for the big one, ready!” with quite a lot of the individual lines tweaked. This meant that we’ve still got all the “Shut it, Dinah!” and some of the classic lines like “losing the race with this floppy disc” and “Boil with the oil or lose with the fuse”. Performed entirely unaccompanied, with much stomping on the beat, worked really well.

“Pearl Twirl” ran unaltered, giving Dinah a COMPLETE character shift from act 1. The confident, sassy girl is completely unrecognisable as the heartbroken Dinah singing “Uncoupled”. Fantastic performance from Natalie McQueen, really heart-felt and beautifully sung, but it was distracting how she seemed to be playing a completely different role to earlier. The staging was even much as normal, with the other two coaches hanging out behind, with varying levels of sympathy and boredom as they sing backing vocals. But without Dinah having established a character of a devoted, in love with Greaseball, the song was very out of place.

Invitation Dinah included some new material, a longer conversation between the girls, with Dinah saying “I can’t manage on my own” - again, this is not the Dinah we saw in act 1. The line “But if Greaseball changes his mind!” is in there. Tassita and Belle have very little to do - no Girls Rolling Stock - but whereas in the past the coaches only had “Oh, Dinah!” to express their frustration, this gives them a little dialogue.

Caboose’s scenes in the middle of act 2 almost had me vocalising my frustration! This scene is one of my biggest problems in the current show AND IT HAS NOT BEEN CHANGED!

First, Caboose tells Greaseball that Rusty is fast, and they plot as in the US Tour with Greaseball’s “Ohh that’s nasty, I like it!”. This conversation also gives us the existing line “Just cos I smile all the time, don’t mean I’m not into crime”. This is not news, this is not a reveal, and this Caboose has only been smiling in an evil, mean way. There’s been no pretense at Caboose being helpful or sweet, he’s been flat-out nasty from the beginning.

Then we have the Disco-tastic 1984 version of “Wide Smile” which repeated the “Just cos I smile all the time, don’t mean I’m not into crime” line, and included “Under the smiles, under the fun I’m public enemy number 1” - again, there’s not been any fun or smiles from this Caboose! Also they use the full 1984 “CB” lyrics including the CB radio references which were cut for the Broadway show in 1987 as too obscure!

Patrick Sullivan’s performance was extraordinary, hitting those falsetto notes, amazing energy and rhythm, a really enjoyable number. I don’t know if I should read significance into Electra not joining in the backing for the number, but it was only the components.

The problem is though this scene is a MASSIVE plot point. It should be the moment we learn that Caboose is a cheating back-stabbing bastard, but this has already been established. Also, there is a logical gap in this number - with Electra well aware of Caboose’s enjoyment of double-crossing, why on earth does Electra then choose Caboose as a race partner for the downhill final? Especially when surrounded by his components, any of which would be a suitable race partner. The simple solution, which I was hoping this workshop would consider, would be for Electra to be removed from this scene. Simply continue the song on from Caboose’s conversation with Greaseball, have Greaseball’s gang as the backing dancers rather than Electra’s components. Then, Electra is unaware of Caboose’s scheme, his choice of race partner makes sense. This would also remove a flabby feeling repeat of the material as different versions have been grafted together.

Race 3 - the Uphill Final - begins with Control announcing Greaseball and Pearl, Electra and Dinah, and Rusty and Caboose. This race has not had the extra “No Comeback” repetitions, but rather the normal spoken lines from each Engine including Rusty’s “Let’s hear it for Steam!”

No explanation is given as to how there are only three engines, since Control earlier quoted the 1992 London instructions “There are two heats, two qualifiers from each heat”. So what happened to the 2nd qualifier from Heat 2? Why did only Momma come through from that race?

Well, I can tell you why, it’s because Control’s lines are taken from the 1992 London, but the races are taken from the 2003 US Tour with the pre-recorded 3D races. Because the tour ran with only 4 Nationals including the British train, the races were run on the logic of two heats, and the winner from each would compete in the final, which should have consisted of two engines. But since Electra and Greaseball tied, they both went through to give us 3 engines in the final. But this story telling has been overlooked in this workshop.

The race was staged with Caboose literally picking up Rusty to make it clear he wasn’t going anywhere! The race music also included the inverted race melody, the descending phrase as used in Germany which always jars when used to the London versions. The Race music did include the “Wide Smile” motif. Rusty was thrown to the floor, injured, as Control shouts “Race Cancelled! Who did it? I didn’t do anything!” - again the 1992 London script.

The 1992 London show was the production which cut Caboose - which is particularly relevant in this part of the show, as without Caboose driving the story, the London show included material to patch over the holes. This material was then drafted into the UK Tour in 2004, to cover gaps where some of the David Yazbek contributions were removed, I believe. However the result is that there are two separate scenes which cover the same actions.

Firstly, the Caboose version is that Caboose has crashed Rusty. The original London staging in 1984 was one of the weaker points of the show, where a fairly illogical staging required all the racers to make it onto the bridge to be carried to the top level, mid-race. CB slowed Rusty to the point he missed the connection and the race was then cancelled due, I believe, to the fighting between Greaseball and Electra. This had Rusty challenge Greaseball with “That CB he never took off the brakes”, which is when Pearl realised that Greaseball and CB were in cahoots. The original version didn’t have Rusty injured apart from his pride, but gave us CB’s insane “10, 10 never again you’re no engine!”. CB’s gloating and insane pleasure at the damage he has caused is an essential part of his character arc. The German staging had Rusty crash and tumble down the bowl to land in a heap centre stage, where Greaseball and Pearl came by, with Pearl saying “I’ll go tell the Marshalls!” then as Greaseball pulls her away, she begins to realise she’s made mistakes.

Secondly, the No Caboose version, the London 1992 version, has to find another reason for Rusty to be out of the race. The Uphill final is cancelled by Control when it’s devolved into a fist fight on the bridge, Control didn’t see what happened so Greaseball and Electra jump on the chance to blame Rusty - “Rusty did it, he caused the wreck!” Greaseball then confesses “Shut it, I did it, he was good, he was fast” - without Caboose in the show, this comes as a surprise. The Marshalls have been wordlessly clearing everything up, Rusty then comes back to Greaseball with “They (the marshalls) say - “ “what do they say?” Greaseball then sics his gang on Rusty, to “make sure it won’t happen again”. The Gang then beat up Rusty (to the melody of “Wide Smile”) in order to bring him to the same, injured and dejected state, as if Caboose had been there.

These two separate scenes have been smashed together since the US Tour in 2003 gave the show major re-writes, and the story being told is flabby and confusing. If Rusty has been wrecked by Caboose, is already on his knees and his confidence destroyed, why do the gang need to beat him up directly? Unless the staging includes Marshalls directing the clean-up, who is Rusty talking about with “They say”? If Caboose is there, then how does the line “You told the Marshalls I drove into you!” make any sense?

The Workshop gives us the current version of this scene, with the 1992 London version of the show, including Greaseball and gang beating up Rusty. Then Pearl wanders in, sees Rusty wrecked on the floor, and realises things are going bad “This wasn’t how I wanted it, this wasn’t what I saw” (what had you seen, Pearl? We no longer have He Whistled At Me to specify her dreams and ambitions) Flat-top has his sympathetic line “Give it up Rusty, you’ll never beat them”, and Caboose has just left. Then we have a reprise of “Crazy” at a slow, reflective pace, as the badly injured Rusty picks himself up. This reflects back to Rusty’s naive hopeful attitude at the start of the show, contrasting his previous optimism with his sad current state. Then we hear the “Call Me Rusty” refrain on the mouth organ as standard. This reflects back to Rusty’s naive hopeful attitude at the start of the show, contrasting his previous optimism with his sad current state. Yes, the concept of Rusty’s confident introductory number being reprised in a slow, sad tone is exactly repeated in this scene.

Where we’d expect Right Place, Right Time, we have the Hoppers wander in and paraphrase the opening lines of the number, without any particular motivation for their presence, but the full number is omitted. This scene feels like it might be a compromise as the work in progress nature of the workshop, where this is a place-holder for a new version of the full number for the Hip Hoppers.

Rusty, alone and dejected, runs into the Starlight Sequence as normal, reflecting on how he’s “down and out”. The Starlight Sequence is always magnificent, but it was slightly soured after Control’s “Stop that Boring music!” comment during the overture, which is of course a preview of this scene. Mica Paris as Momma wasn’t quite comfortable with the vocal range of the song but at some moments opened up sounded glorious. There were also some slight lyric paraphrases such as “The Starlight Express is no more or less, I’m you, Rusty”, which doesn’t quite make sense, but I suspect was simply the nature of the workshop rather than a deliberate change. George Ure’s performance was stunning and so emotional, he really carried us on Rusty’s journey.

The Rusty and Dustin scene has some new music, using the same melody as Rusty’s monologue prior to the Starlight Sequence, the melody most characterised as the Coaches’ verse in “Call Me Rusty”. It’s a minor key, the music always suggests concern, worry, lack of confidence, so to use it for this scene felt off. The standard score uses “Belle’s Song” at this point, as that melody is connected with the Freight and Dustin as well as Belle.

Dinah’s Disco is re-worked to be a reprise of “I Got Me” which works well in this context. If “I Got Me” were moved from act 1 to replace “Girls’ Rolling Stock”, following “UNCOUPLED”, this reprise would work perfectly. Electra calls CB to his side with the “AC/DC” melody, the 7/4 time makes the short scene feel a bit awkward, but replacing the “Nobody Can Do It Like a Steam Train” melody makes sense when all references to “He Whistled At Me” have been cut. Electra and CB bargain for the price of CB’s help.

Control introduces the re-run of the Final Race, on the Downhill course. Again the score being used is snipped from the 2003 US Tour - the pre-race 4 has two versions, the original staging called for three finalists, the Broadway and later used four finalists. The beautiful, complex layered music was originally written for the six racers, then altered for eight. But then the US Tour version cut it back to six, rather than referring to the original score, the two vocal lines are simply left out leaving a gap in the music. Specifically the 1992 score had Bobo singing “Le jour du gloire est arrivé” (please pardon my french!) with Ashley singing “Gonna be hot, hotter than hot”. The alternative for that vocal part has Caboose singing “Just for me, I’m in this just for me” (or “Nur fuer Mich” in the German score) - but the workshop uses the Tour version which simply skips this vocal line. Once part that point the complex harmonies were gorgeously performed. While I love the “Rusty’s gonna race in the Final” moment in this number, it harks back so strongly to the original version of the Rap.

The Downhill Final was performed with a very witty side-comment from Control about “Sorry about the lights, use your imagination!” The race music was very much the 1984 original which was gorgeous! Control’s narration tells us the story, including Pearl being disconnected, and Rusty saves her - at which point the Crazy melody was incorporated in the race music, with the ensemble singing “Come on Rusty”. Immediately on winning, Rusty leaves with “I must find Pearl”, as usual.

One Rock’n’Roll Too Many was staged almost exactly as usual - in fact all that was missing was the kneepads! Contextually this was played the same as UK Tour / Germany, not like the 1992 London, which seems a shame. The only major difference (apart from the presence of Caboose) is that in London, the ensemble stayed onstage and witnessed the massive fall from grace of the major players in the game. I appreciate that practically, in staging the show, I am sure the ensemble are grateful for a couple of minutes backstage, but the story telling of including them as witnesses is important. Plus it gives the ensemble characters more time to establish their personalities. There’s no logical reason all the characters leave before the number, and come back at the end. Momma was struggling with the vocal range for the “Where’s Rusty gone?” section.

Pearl is introduced with the electric guitar playing the “He Whistled At Me” melody, but since neither version of her song appeared at the start of the show, her reprise that was the introduction to “I Do” has been cut. Which is super frustrating, because that little reprise was the only good addition with this dreadful song!

“I Do” is untouched, it’s still abysmal, with clunky, random, meaningless lyrics, poor melodic construction, long and repetitive. The lyrics scan very poorly to the music (“you think that noboDY would love you”), and the vocal ranges are very hard to sing, it’s fortunate the cast are so strong! They are genuinely adorable and you’re so happy that they’ve found each other, despite the music.

I have to admit, however, that with the changes to Pearl’s character, that she is given more time to think, the lyrics are not as contradictory as previously. It feels like Pearl, and to an extent Rusty, have been ret-conned to fit this song!

I am genuinely astonished that this song has been kept, I thought the one thing this workshop would be sure to give us was an improvement on the love song. It’s such a shame to have lost “Only He” - in any of its many variations - as the love song being a reprise of one half of the Starlight Sequence is an enormously important part of the story telling. The “Only You” melody speaks of discovery, completion, it’s the answer to the question, where the “Starlight Express” melody is the question.

Following “I Do”, Rusty and Pearl sing a reprise of “I Got Me”, and the “Well Done Rusty, King of the Track” is now set to the same melody, which is slowed, and jars with the dissonance. Then the reprise of the “Starlight Express” melody is as you’d expect, into Dinah’s “Greaseball you’re hurt!” - beautifully performed, and there isn’t the jarring sense of “No, honey, don’t go back to your abusive ex!” - which is possibly more of a negative statement since Dinah’s character is so inconsistent. Oliver Tompsett does have the most magnificent puppy-eyes pleading expression though, making it hard to resist forgiving his character!

Leading into Light at the end of the Tunnel, Mica Paris was again having difficulty singing the role written for a baritone! I had a moment of cognitive dissonance, given how there had been strong throw-backs to the 1984 version of the show, for the one line that was originally sung by Soul Queen PP Arnold as Belle, “The man who watched the pot and said, hey I got…” - for one moment being sung by Soul Queen Mica Paris! The final number bounced along, full of joy and energy as ever, with no changes from the norm. No megamix, just a play-out from the fantastic band.

#stexworkshop #starlight express #Scene by Scene analysis

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