#amazing on every front
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can’t help but think of how, if we choose to go by sirius’ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, sirius’ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.
especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldn’t ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburga’s shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names he’s being called.
not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that he’s flayed open for everyone to see. it’s not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. it’s such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.
to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.
sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.
#sirius black#i am in the mood to sob tonight clearly#i just#was reading a fic#where it recounted walburga ad kreacher’s screams and taunts#and it suddenly hit me how humiliating they are?#like#even if it’s an inanimate object and a house elf#to be called an embarrassment and shame of my flesh and filth#by the only remaining members of your family#and to have it be traced back to your family#to know that your mother was alive but did not care that u were in azkaban#and that everyone else knows it too now#to walk around in every corner of your childhood house and be able to see exactly how u grew up#no boundaries no limits#to have other people keep touching parts of your family with the audacity to throw them out#and move it around#to call your home names#i just. cannot imagine.#the level of helplessness he was operating with#is it really any wonder he was the way he was#hell. he was actually so much better than he should’ve been#lesser men would’ve been catatonic or going off on a rage fuelled warpath#it’s so embarrassing to have your parent even correct u in front of friends sometimes#and to hear all this abuse. shouted at you.#and not one person ever stands up for him#or shows him any empathy#i’m actually amazed that even after all these years i’m able to find new tragedies in sirius life#HAS THAT MAN NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH#pen’s notes
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#mine#aftg#kevin day#andrew minyard#cc#andrew hated it when drunk kevin got like this#screaming crying throwing things panicking. thats the kevin he can handle#but quiet drunk kevin.#the one that stares reverently up at him when he slots his hand against the back of kev's neck#the one that looks at him like a saviour#like he hung the moon and the stars all for kevin#the one that calls him things like 'talented' and 'amazing'#the one that clings to him like a lifeline#thats the drunk kevin andrew couldnt stand#not because he hated him for it#far from it#but because andrew was only a man#his self control could only take him so far when all he wanted to do#was hold kevins face and press their foreheads together and tell him how stupid he was#to share the same air as the drunken prodigy sitting in front of him#leaning close and breathing each other in.#to trace the contours of kevins pretty crying face with more than just his gaze#anyways ANYWAYS sorry if its ooc im tired and wanted kandrew#kandreil is my bread and butter my pride and joy i love it in every form. but.#something about kandrew.#something something projecting#something something saviour complex#dont look at me
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I’m absolutely obsessed with the parallels in avatar there’s a million of them but rn I’m freaking about how Aang and Zuko have parallel scars from Azula’s lightning strikes AND ALSO how Aang got his right after he chose to let Katara go and Zuko got his saving her life?????????
#screaming crying pissing shitting etc#this show is fucking insane#I’ve seen it so many times and every time I watch it I find new amazing things#aangs on his back zukos on his front what does that mean#gaang#avatar#avatar the last airbender#atla#zuko#aang#Katara
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anyway I went to starkid innit tonight and if I tell you the forgotten song graveyard medley was the funniest thing I've ever seen what would you do? hideous creatures, pays to be an animal, get in my mouth, land of the dicks, hermione can't draw, gotta find his dick all sung as incredibly sombre solos which were taken way too seriously is the only way to sing those songs ever again so sorry
#starkid#starkid innit#gotta find his dick made me so emotional i could have cried#like.. in the dark and chill of night#he goes searching for hours on end#hoping someone will end his plight#looking dor his long lost friend...#kind of fucked up when you think about it#like if you cried every time#anyway in all seriousness that was an incredible show with an amazing setlist from front to back
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Ok so I've been thinking about this for a little bit. Last weekend on Saturday (omg they said the thing) I went to Texas roadhouse with my parents and my bestie because they wanted to take her out to dinner as a congratulations for getting into her dream school. And from that I one main thought. That being that Texas roadhouse is I think the peak of Americana/American stereotypes and I think it's one of those places that doesn't sound real if you're not from the states.
#the wait staff will litrally just line dance once an hour about in between the rows of tables#before covid theyd have buckets of peanuts at each table and youd throw the shells on the floor#thered be huge signs at the front door saying “dont come in if youve got a peanut allergy”#and the b r e a d#omg those rolls and the cinnomon butter are fucking amazing#id give my left tit to eat that bread every day#and when they do the sit down restaurant birthday thing they take out this mechanical bull type chair and make you sit on it#and the wait staff just like “yee haw” as a collective sometimes#the food is fire though#but it is such an experince
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If you guys are gonna buy one thing during the steam summer sale make it Dave the Diver.
The best word to describe this game is delightful. Catch fish with your spear gun during the day and run a sushi restaurant at night, and discover the secrets of the magical blue hole you dive in where every species of fish is present and the geography is changing everyday. There's combat, there's collection, there's a great story line, there's farming, there's fish farming, there's minigames, the animation and art and music are fantastic. It's GENUINELY fun, and genuinely funny. I've played it for 60 hours and I'm not done the main story line yet. Oh did I mention it's $20? And it's on sale for less?
#steam summer sale#video game recommendations#video games#dave the diver#my literal new favourite game it's like#it's not similar to stardew valley but my love for and obsession with it is similar#it's just an amazing game on every front idek what to tell you#it's indie. it's a masterpiece. the main character is even fat idek what to say#it's the gift that keeps on giving#oh yeah disclaimer#not sponsored (i have like 300 followers LMAO) i just really like it touches fingers
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hogwarts au when buck is the care of magical creatures professor and tommy is the school's flying instructor/quidditch coach
#bucktommy#tommy will take them to flying dates every now and then#and buck will make fun of him because tommy is scared of buckbeak (no pun intended)#tommy can see thestral bc he saw his mom died. buck feels so sorry but also so amazed by it. so tommy describes everything abt it for him#but tommy says he wishes evan never see them because he doesn't want evan to bear the weight of watching someone died in front of his eyes#this is very niche but idk it's a fun au in my head lol
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You just gotta love how Foolish and Vegetta are devoted to each other and terribly "physical" when they are with others, but in private their love is so shy and new...
#blowjobs in front of every person on the server? check#cant even articulate how amazed you are by the other's abilities and prowess? check#qsmp#vegetta#foolish gamers#foolgetta#q!foolish#q!vegetta
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WHAHAHAHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT!?!
#Nevermore#Nevermore Webtoon#Webtoon#OMG NEVERMORE’S FIRST SEASON IS COMPLETE#WHAT A CRAZY FEELING MARCH 3 2022 ME COULD NOT HAVE THOUGHT THIS IS WHERE WE’D BE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS#BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#FIRST OFF THANK YOU RED N’ FLYNN FOR YOUR WONDERFUL WORK THIS SEASON IT WAS AMAZING I LOVED ALL OF IT#OK EPISODE UHHHH DOLLY AND POPPET ARE STILL CUTE AND BADASS#POPPET YOU LEFT HER ALL ALONE SHE CALLED YOU THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE#OOOOOOHHHHHH POPPET’S MAGIC PRETTY ALL THE MAGIC IN THIS SERIES PRETTYYYYYYY#PROSPERO LOOKS SO PRETTY IN HIS PAJAMAS IDKKKK WHYYYYYY LOVE THE SHIRT#SORRY MONTY YOU CAN’T RUN#WASSUP WILL LOOK AT THE BOOOOOIIIIISSSSSSSS#POPPET’S SPEECH LOOKED SO COOL#OOOOHHHHHH THEY’RE ALL SO SCAREDDDDD#LENORE BROKE MY HEART THIS EPISODE OMG LIKE WHEN THEY WERE HOLDING HER BACK AND SHE’S LIKE “NO!”#“DON’T MAKE ME SIT IDLY BY WHILE IT KILLS THE ONES I LOVE. LET ME GO. PLEASE.” HURRRRTTTTTSSSSS MEEEEEEEEEEEE I’M DYYYYYIIIINNNNGGGGG#JUST NEEDS HER WIFE THEN EVERYTHING’S FINE Y’ALL DON’T UNDERSTAND#WHY IS MANIFESTING IN FRONT OF IT SO BAD I WANT TO KNOW#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GET AWAY FROM HEEEERRRRRRRR STAGGGG#OHHHH THE DETAILS AND SHADING ON THAT LAST PANEL MMMMMMMMMMMMM DELICIOUS#THANK YOU SO MUCH RNF FOR BOTH YOUR SERIES THEY’RE THE LIGHTS OF MY LIFE WHEN THEY’RE GOING#TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS YOU NEED FOR S2 GET SOME REST#WE’LL BE HERE :))))#THANKS TO YOU GUYS FOR READING MY UNHINGED TAGS EVERY WEEK HOPE YOU’LL STICK AROUND FOR MORE OF ME AND MY THINGS#YAYYYYYYYYYYY NEVERMORE SEASON 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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HAPPY PULP MUSICALS EPISODE 4 DAY!!!
Ahhhhhh it's finally here!! I just listened to Part 1, anyone else??
How Matt Dahan continuously raises the bar each time each episode is just something I cannot fathom.
It is the season of "Pulp Musicals fall"
I may or may not post my rough unedited notes from my reaction to Part 1 later
#pulp musicals#pulp musicals ep 4#matt dahan#I can't believe we're on episode FOUR already oh my goodness#how does every episode get better??#everyone in part 1 was absolutely immaculate#the melodies the voices the vibes it was just sooooo good and I loved hearing more about the travelers and searchers#literally spectacular give me actually fourteen more episodes#also rose stratford in this episode so far???#is it crazy that I got emo during rose and the stars bc she has come so far#its been so amazing to witness her character's journey#I really missed my favorite sci-fi musical radio series#if you still haven't listened to pulp musicals this is your giant sign *literally waves this post in front of you*#can't wait for episode 4 part 2
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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2023 Miami Grand Prix - Qualifying - Fernando Alonso(ft. Sergio Perez & Carlos Sainz)
#every race wknd is just a weekly meeting of NFA(nandofucker anonymous)#this old man kills me on the weekly how am i supposed to work under these conditions??????#i ove seeing everyone on my dash(me most of all all) just having a joint mental breakdown#im actually shaking rn im so excited and happy#i combusted mentally about 5 times today that 12oz summer edition rb is really puttin its work in#i listened to 'everything she wants' by wham while making these i think its fitting for how i feel about nando LMAO#p2!! front row guys!!! not to jinx it but this could be his race!!!#i love max and charles but im not unfraid to admit i yelled *some things* at my screen i will not disclose#im so scared fro tmr#fernando pls you could do an amazing thing tmr im praying#fernando alonso#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#checo perez#sergio perez#2023 miami gp#2023 miami grand prix#fa14#we do a little bit of f1#f1#formula 1#formula one
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I will not get triggered.
#I will actually!#BRUH I usually don’t get pressed over stuff like this too much#Cause at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter and I only care about my own opinion LOLOL#But to the people who are saying that GFriend don’t seem like a unit anymore or Sowon and Yerin aren’t giving it their all is pissing me of#First off Yerin was being mindful of her hair (literally every idol with nice hair will do that) but she still had so much energy and power#Also it’s been a while but I feel like she’s still rebuilding her confidence#It got better in Wavy for sure!#And idk I think she literally looks like she’s performing normally#Same thing for Sowon! She ate! Am I missing something?#And she’s been off the stage for a while too#And all the jazz with Yuju and her vocal regression blah blah#Can we just stop talking about it for a second because she’s improved on so many other fronts#She might not belt as well anymore but other parts of her range have improved#And do y’all hear her vocals on their new song?#I don’t know maybe I’m looking at them through rose tinted glasses and am being biased and an annoying fan who defends their idols a lot#But idk I think they did amazing for having such a packed schedule and still being so synchronized and everything#And obviously idols will have days where they don’t have the best stage and that’s okay#Maybe I need to calm down lol#But they still seemed very GFriend to me#And the complaints about the new song but whatever#I’m the CEO of complaining but I just want o enjoy everything that they’ve given us so far :)#Let’s wait for promotions and the concert to see :)#GFriend
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max is so inevitable, i love him.
#max verstappen#how can you not admire the way he's been driving?#a true champion#deserved in every single way#so calm predictable reliable#in perfect sync with his team#amazing to see a legend being made right in front of my eyes#dutch gp 2023#elle.txt
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nothing, and i truly mean NOTHING, will stop me from randomly becoming invested in a team. you're telling me vegas had SPARKLING JERSEYS this whole time? they got a flappy wiggly jumpy guy in net??
#vgk lb#you're saying that people literally just dont like their management for being calculating dicks? (and kind of rats about the cap??)#I WAS EXPECTING. IDK. ABUSE ALLEGATIONS.#to be clear: i think treating players as assets rather than people is nasty. but actually i dont have to support the front office#to like the players or the narratives or the campy uniforms#i'm gay i think i'd be shot in cold blood if i didn't support sparkly jerseys <3#i am also well aware of jack eichel's entire saga and i think what he did for himself and other future players who might want to#exercise their right to bodily autonomy was fucking amazing. going on to win the cup with what seems to be thee most#disliked team in the league? even better. i love a revenge arc :)#TAKE A SHOT EVERY TIME VAN PUCKPOCKETED DOT TUMBLR DOT COM GETS INTERESTED IN A NEW TEAM!!!!#[DIES OF ALCOHOL POISONING]
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#why do we care? listen. it’s not about having a kid. you could tell me Louis decided to foster a boy. or adopt a child. or just be a fucking#godfather. and I’d laud it. you could tell me this kid had no dad and he took that mantle himself. I’m chill. I’m cool. that’s awesome. any#kid would be lucky#but no they need it to be HIS sperm#that’s the whole point that’s the only point#so we’re left with two options#believe Louis’ drunker whoopsie baby. was told by him to the band management before 12 weeks. everyone decided#HEY this is AMAZING. let’s tell ALL the fans. I’m face#let’s make this front and center for the next two years the carry us over the break!#and louis. and his family. were like Okay awesome!!#and then. louis proceeded to never get a shred of media protection for his child#never got a shred of custody#never communicated about his mothers illness to the family of his child#let grandparents raise his kid for the next five years#was the most deadbeat of deadbeat dads#not providing food or ANY res pieces yet somehow not getting sued?? despite being a millionaire?#and then tada when his very real very wanted oopsie baby is old enough he can walk him along the beach in the sunset and we’ll all say AWWWW#his little lad!!#OR. every single smidge of oddness and erased IG’s and fertility clinic ultrasounds and photo shopped pictures and slip ups by relitives#means that it was all an act from the get go#and would we care? would we really care if Louis had said five year ago yeah not my kid but I’m staying in his life#NO. but the sperm is the point. the only point. because louis has sex with women. that means he Can’t Be Gay#the whole. entire. point.
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