#am really ready for life to feel lighter again

[themistyfootprints]

Kinda need to vent into a void for a bit.

I'm sick at the moment. For the second week in a row. I mean I'm much better than a week ago but I've got a feeling I won't be fully well until next week or so. Which is rather unfortunate since I'm moving this Saturday and could use all the physical strength I have. The move is good though - I'll finally get away from this place that has placed a ton of unnecessary stress on my shoulders (and I do blame that stress on me becoming this sick). I'm excited for the move but very tired from this flu or whatever it is that's going on. At least I can already feel my stress levels lowering. But it has been a lot. Physically the toughest four months I've experienced in years for sure.

And then there is this dating app match I got about four weeks ago. I crushed hard and it felt like they did as well - yet here I am, left guessing because all of a sudden it feel like the conversation stopped from their end. I mean, I don't really mind people ghosting me, but this does feel different since they kept a strong flirt going for weeks and now it's gone. I hope they just got busy, and will get back since we did make plans. But I just feel kind of down about this and keep second guessing everything I said and whether I came on too strong or maybe a just said something annoying.

In other news, I turned 28 last week and it really is devastating how stressed I have been. Not just from my living situation and crush but also from school and applying to internships. I feel I'm barely keeping afloat yet I have to keep going.

[corollaservant]

False Alarm // Kenjaku x f!reader (18+)

Synopsis: He never smoked. But then again, he lost himself along the way.

Warnings: noncon, smoking, signs of panic attack, degradation, violence, deception, humiliation... Kenny stuff.

A/N: don't hate me, Kenny is the perf man for dark concepts.

The last time you saw him was in 2007. He seemed sedated for some time, looking like he woke up and slept—if he ever slept—out of necessity, his lips on yours felt foreign and a burden would always accompany him. You hadn’t ever asked, what would you even say “Hey, is everything alright?’’ and what was he supposed to answer? ‘’Yes, everything’s fine’’. Not like it’d be the truth anyways. The last night you saw him was in 2007.

It was around 3 AM when he entered the bedroom, smoke filled the room as you looked at him. He never smoked, apart from some earlier mischief with his best friend as he sat next to you.

‘’Have you been smoking?’’ You quietly asked him as he sighed.

‘’Yes, had to give Shoko my lighter today and figured I might as well have one myself’’

He spoke so calmly, like everything was alright, like everything was like before.

The next day you woke up in an empty bed with a lighter to your nightstand. There was no letter or note as he exited your life and never came back.

-

It wasn’t like you didn’t know. He never intended to hide his actions, never once tried to stay undercover, intentions loud and clear and if you weren’t to find out from newspapers and various media outlets covering the crimes, a visit from his best friend would suffice. You hadn’t reacted much really, usually pain hit when you least expected it—not when Gojo would list you the heinous crimes but when you were in the snack aisle holding your groceries and saw his favorite crackers, silly things really. Ache was a funny thing.

10 years went by and your routine had not once diverted, home–work–home. Most of your friends stopped contacting you for a night out, seeing how you’d decline each and every time and you didn’t really blame them. They most likely wouldn’t understand. The door was unlocked when you entered the apartment floor and your heart sank. A domestic burglary was the last thing you wanted, shit, you didn’t even care about any belongings, his lighter was always with you and there were no prized possessions in the once shared apartment. But you were exhausted.

A figure stood facing the window next to the bed, wearing what seemed like a kimono over a robe that people 2500 years ago wore and sandals—enjoying a cigarette as you froze.

‘’W–what are you doing here?’’ You asked, stupid, yeah, who asks that? But fear stricken as you were and ready to dial the emergency number—your heart suddenly skipped a beat.

The figure had his hair, what was going on?

‘’Did you miss me?’’ A soft honeyed voice that made your skin crawl said as Suguru turned to look at you. Your eyes widened and you backtracked, colliding with the wall behind you as you dropped the bag you were holding and screamed. Loud.

‘’Who the fuck are you?’’ You yelled as you saw a line of stitches sloppily circle around what used to be your lover’s forehead. He had his hooded eyes and smile but you knew better. Whoever this freak was could never imitate the laced with care and love words that escaped Suguru’s mouth. Before he left. Before—

‘’What the hell did you do to him?’’ The more you talked, the more a sardonic smile crept up his mouth, deforming what used to be the prettiest smile in the world.

‘’I wouldn’t call if I were you’.’ He inhaled the last puff and tossed the cigarette mindlessly out the window, as he approached you.

Your hands were frozen, you wouldn’t have been able to dial anyone either way, when he spoke again.

‘’Funny thing, the memories, aren’t they? I had this feeling today you know..’’

‘’Where is he?’’ You cried, as he sighed.

‘’Please don’t interrupt me, he’s dead, what do you mean 'where is he'? As I was saying..’’

His words made your knees sting, as you fell to the floor, choking on a cry—it wasn’t like you hadn't made a decent effort to register his death, but the spitting image ahead of you felt like you were atoning for sins you never committed. It was too much, too painful, too sadistic.

‘’I had this, let's call it...instinct to smoke today and visit you. Matter of fact, my feet dragged me all the way here so I was curious to see what the..fuss was all about.’’ He spoke eyeing you up at 'fuss'. You didn’t understand a thing but wished for whatever this was to end as you closed your eyes. Please! You silently heard yourself say. Or maybe you didn't speak a word.

‘’Yeah, I kind of get it now...you look nice after all. Do you smoke?’’ He asked, bringing himself even closer, the apartment was small and he had you touching the wall, the shadow of his Kasaya casting a dark light in front of you.

‘’I- I don’t smoke,’’ ‘’P–please leave..’’ His eyes, these eyes that used to make love to you, hug you and gently wash your hair, bring you tea in the morning, wrap around your waist..

‘’Oh, that’s too bad.’’ He spoke as if he contemplated, smirking to himself once he noticed your bowed head.

‘’Mind looking up?’’ He came even closer, so close you could feel him on you—he didn’t really wait to bring his finger, a cold sensation against your chin and lift it to look at him.

‘’Be honest. Isn’t this my best work?’’ He moved the face left and right, showing you horrible—pretty angles of your old boyfriend. Your eyes quivered, tears fell down your cheeks, down your chin, down the floor. A bile formed at the back of your throat.

‘’Would you kiss me?’’ He asked rhetorically, it wasn’t like he cared about your opinion, it was more as if he was asking himself, experimenting with a predetermined outcome as you sniffed and felt a strong hand travel down your neck, pinning you to the wall. No! Stop asking questions! Leave!

‘’Well...it doesn’t matter really, cause you will now.’’ He said as his mouth touched yours. Soft lips. Same feeling. Memories. Your lips parted to cry and he squeezed the sides of your neck, blocking the air and sliding his tongue in your mouth.

This wasn’t Suguru and you weren’t supposed to be kissing him. This wasn’t his hair, his mouth, his eyes albeit your heart racing and a known sensation flooding your chest. His breath was hot as he growled and you squirmed, tears soaking him.

‘’S-stop..’’ You whined, thinking back to all the times you thought Suguru leaving you, abandoning you was the worst thing that could’ve happened to you. This couldn’t even be compared.

‘’P–please! I-I will not tell anyone, I—will do whatever you want—just—’’

‘’Then be silent cause you will be doing what I want regardless.’’ He smiled, the same sinister smile and you started breathing heavily, shit, this wasn’t good, this always signaled a panic attack. You had these more frequently than before. Ever since he left. You started sweating, feeling chills, particularly in your arms and like you'd die from asphyxiation, the more you failed to inhale properly. Don't think—breathe—don't think you can't breathe—don't—

Two strong arms cupped your face and turned it upwards.

‘’Shh..hey..hey..darling, I’m right here.’’ The idol of the man you used to love gently whispered as you looked in the dead eyes in front of you. The voice honeyed and soft as the words he purred soothed you and you closed your eyes.

‘’Come here.’’ He said and brought your body close to his, embracing your trembling limbs as you exhaled—you could at least breathe through your nose again, an unfamiliar cologne in your face.

‘’Good.’’ He said as he took a deep breath.

His arms felt good.

‘’Now let’s continue.’’

-

A finger was brought up against your entrance as the intruder’s body hovered above you. You were moved (thrown) to the bed, begging in silent whispers for him to leave, but to no avail. He was kissing you with his tongue—leaving a saliva string each time you opened your mouth to protest, beg, promise to do anything except this but he’d had enough, he loved a good Shakespearean act, but pretending to be him to calm you down just so he could fuck you had wasted a lot of his time. The play needed a climax.

He caressed your core through your panties, your dress was lifted up as he slid them to the side, trailing two fingers against the folds. You had been fighting for your body not to betray you, fighting for your eyes to not involuntarily close each time his disgusting mouth kissed you. Whenever you closed them, you thought of him, the mouth felt all too familiar and you couldn't help it. Fluids smudged the fabric and fell down his fingers as he smirked.

‘’Such a good girl, no need for me to help a lot here I see.’’ His wicked grin caused you to let out a scream, maybe if you cried for help someone would listen, someone could save—

A slap took the breath out of your lungs, vicious and hard as your cheek burned from the pain.

‘’Be quiet, pretty, I don’t have all day.’’ He said toying your cunt and pushing his fingers inside you as you tried your best not to moan.

‘’Please! ugh—Stop!’’ You wailed but there was no remorse (or halt) in his movements—squelching sounds from the contact almost covered up the noise you made.

‘’So..so filthy and wet, fuck, what would your boyfriend say seeing you soaking someone else’s hand, huh? Disgusting..’’ He spoke with disdain as you cried and tried to not feel the guilty pleasure that took over your core.

‘’I think we’re good now, don’t you?’’ He said as he got off you, your eyes trying to look around for exits while trying to have him within your peripherals.

You could escape, you could leave, right?

The moment your body dared to stand up while he was taking off his kimono, you were thrown back to bed, head crashing against the steel of the bed frame—the pain was accute and you winced, your eyesight left for a second.

Yet, he continued.

‘’Don’t be that dumb, please.’’ He sighed as his cock was brought out, stiff and long, sitting upright on his abdomen. A revolting sight but his body reminiscent of Suguru’s made your heart flutter.

The paranoia of the predicament messed you up, it felt like a torture, a dichotomy between love and hate, you wanted to spit on him, kick him and escape, hell, you wanted to slash his throat but each time your gaze was brought to his sinister stitches, the reminiscent features made you ache, sob and long for the all too familiar face.

‘’Get off m–me, please.’’ You begged and begged as he parted your legs and brushed his slit against your cunt, tapping it on the tiny nub when a moan escaped your lips—embarrassed, you brought your hands to your mouth.

‘’Stop!’’ You pleaded, the feeling there not aligning with the disgust in your mind but he continued.

‘’I love it when you beg, you look prettier.’’ He softly whispered as his cockhead thrusted swiftly in your cunt, hard enough to make your body hurt in more parts. You hadn't been fucked in a while, it wasn't worth it after him.

The sensation was overwhelming—his weight fell on you, cock stayed within your walls for a couple of seconds before he grabbed your hands to get them off your mouth. Your head was banging against the frame, as whichever sobs fell from your lips were pitifully covered by your hands.

‘’Now, you don’t wanna be silent, do ya? This is the best part!’’ His eyes gleamed as his cock slid in and out of you fast and he groaned.

‘’Fuck, I can see why he loved you so much, taking me as if we're meant to be...’’ He hummed as you closed your eyes, trying to ignore the stinging pain, not in your core anymore but your chest.

‘’I want to hear you, come on girl, moan for me..agh—I know you want it.’’ His ruts became harder and sloppier, as you let out a loud moan—teardrops spilled from your eyelids onto the sheets as he tilted his hips into you, it was too much.

‘’P-please! Please!’’ You begged, still hoping for an end and he continued, a finger found your swollen clit and rubbed around it in circular motions, you jerked but his pace never faltered, fuck, it wasn't right, your cunt squeezed him in, clenching tightly around him.

‘’Shit, little slut’s enjoying herself?’’ He hissed and you cried.

‘’S—Suguru.. s—stop, please agh- I - love you.’’ You called out your favorite name and he laughed. There was no other way to save yourself.

‘’Stop calling for your dead man stupid, he’s not coming back..’’ He sounded like he lectured you, thrusting upwards and groping your chest as you withered under him, what felt like an orgasm slowly threatening to exit your tormented body. Your head hurt and your throat felt sore as you now only used broken syllables for help.

‘’S-st— I–I-ugh–..’’ Your cunt spasmed.

‘’Come on this cock– shit, be a good slut for your boyfriend, sweetheart, can you do it for Suguru?’’ He groaned, feeling himself close—the sight of your hands trying to throw him off aroused him even more, such a cute little thing you were, he didn’t wonder now why he liked you so much.

‘’S-suguru!’’ was all you said as you came undone, squeezing your eyes shut and biting your lip till you tasted metal. He continued; his predatory eyes made him look disfigured, melted even, reminding you of ice cream dripping down a cone.

‘’So filthy doll, he'd– agh.. be so proud..’’ He grunted and you felt a palm grab your neck and choke you with a firm grip, so not to moan or cry anymore. He came—looking in your eyes filled with terror shooting his cum deep within your walls as he praised you further. The foreign sensation stirred your insides.

You felt nothing; except maybe his cock soften and palm removed from your throat, allowing air back in your lungs. He got up.

He grabbed a cigarette pack from a tailored pocket in his kimono and moved to the window while you were left in a puddle of bodily fluids, trembling and tasting what must've been blood down your face.

‘’W—why...why did you come?’’ You brokenly managed, as he turned around.

It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair, it wasn't—

‘’I felt like having a smoke.’’ Cool and collected. Like Suguru. His face despite the wickedness looked serene, eyes crinkled similarly to his. He offered a smile.

‘’Could I have my lighter now, please?’’

[coolprettyleo]

my soul has changed? - will smith au

wc: 1.4k

tw: depression, suggestion of an ED, awkwardness? mean girl.

will smith x oc celebrini sister!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

lola celebrini was in a point of her life where everything felt still. she was pretty sure she was suffering from depression and it was a cycle she didn't know how to get out of.

she would wake up, go to school, go to work, and then sleep. she was lucky if she fitted a meal in between that meant she had lost tons of weight.

she had been a pretty healthy teen, she played hockey up until high school alongside her brothers; but when the time came to play college hockey, she got no offers. contributing to her depression.

it was a sport she held so much love and dedication, she couldn't understand why she hadn't been good enough? I mean her brothers were good enough, they got college offers. macklin was even projected to go first overall, so why couldn't she?

those were thoughts that were constantly haunting her mind. if she found something to forget them they would flood back in, like if they wanted her to be a lifeless doll she had been feeling like.

her family had been really worried for her. she had finally seen her brothers after a year, at the NCCAA playoffs and it only caused them to worry more.

flashbacks

lola knew that macklin and aiden were gonna bombard her with questions as soon as they were alone. they could hardly recognize her. growing up she was always a smiling person with a big personality and now she was about forty pounds lighter and was a ghost of the person she used to be.

"april what's going on" macklin said shutting the door behind him.

"what do you mean"

"cut the bullshit. I know your not okay, you barley answer my text anymore, what's wrong"

"it's nothing mack-"

"no it's not nothing, maybe I can fix it-

"you cant 'fix' it"

"and why not-"

"because I don't know what wrong with me!"

that had been about two weeks ago. she just didn't know what to tell her family. she really didn't understand why she had been feeling that way.

she was currently at work where she was a barista in a cute coffee shop. she honestly loved working there, she had got the job when she was in high school and had kept it till college. seeing as she didn’t move far away for college, choosing to stay close to her parents.

she often wondered if she might be happier if she moved away just like everyone else did, just like her brothers did. but it would always end in her telling herself; that it's not worth dwelling on.

it was currently six am and at this time of day there weren’t many customers. the cafe was always busy mid day when people were looking to find somewhere to study.

so she was surprised when she turned the open side around, to find a boy waiting outside to come in. a boy who looked a lot like will smith.

lola wasn’t an idiot to hockey, she kept up with it a fairly good amount, so she would have to be living under a rock to not know the guy who dominated the ice at her brothers rivalry school.

that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to act like she didn’t know him.

he reached for the handle and took a look at her before turning as red as a tomato and blushing,

“hey, are you guys open?” he asked nervously, mentally slapping himself because he just saw her turn the sign around, to ‘open’

“uhm yeah I’ll be with you in a sec” she told him.

will couldn’t help but think her voice was cute. she had a rasp to it that made him want to give her everything she’s ever wanted.

lola finished up, putting the coffee too brew and turned to the counter.

“okay! order when your ready”

“uhm. i actually never been here before… any recs?” he asked after a moment nervously scratching his neck.

“well I get a dirty chai, but considering my brothers hate it, you might hate it too… I guess you might like a frap?” she told him, a little too monotone.

“yeah okay” he told her again nervously. he found her to be breathtakingly beautiful.

he paid and stood back as she got to making the drink.

“you from here?” will asked hoping to make small talk.

“uhm kinda. I was born in Vancouver but moved here when my dad got a job”

will panicked. oh god was she still in highschool

lola must of saw the worry on his face because she added,

“that was a couple years ago, im eighteen now” she said smiling at his face. something she didn’t do often anymore.

“oh, i’m eighteen too”

“oh yeah, what brings you to san jose, school?” she said innocently knowing very well he was drafted here and was most likely here to work on development.

“no. I”m came to meet with some people here. I go to boston college” he answered. lola starting to not feel so bad because she saw he didn’t want to right away say he was a hockey player.

“far from home huh”

“yeah, i’m literally across the country from everything and everybody i’ve ever known” he told her wanting to slap himself. did she need to know that!?!

“i’m sorry. it’ll get easier” she said remembering her brother had been homesick too but utimatly started feeling better after some time-- as she handing him his drinks and gave him a sympathetic face.

“yeah i hope so, i should be moving here soon, if everything goes right” he said as he took a sip.

“hey this is good!” he said taking another sip as lola smiled. something that will thought looked amazing on her.

lola smiled at him remembering the fact her brothers liked that drink. boys were so typical

“i’m glad… and hey— if you ever need a friend in town my names lola” she told him as she held her hand out to him to shake.

will starred at it for a moment before he quickly met her hand.

“will” he told the girl with a smile.

they were cut out of there moment when two customers walked in.

“I should get back to work. i’ll see you around will” she told him as he smiled a nodded and walked right out.

say something! ask for my number! do anything!

lola felt really dumb after she basically just presented herself in a silver platter to the boy and he didn’t finish his part in asking for her number. he had definitely rejected her in the nicest way someone possibly could.

meanwhile will got into the Uber with a gitty feeling. she seemed really cool and having someone to hang out with other than his teammates was going to be so nice.

he was midway into the meeting with some general managers when he realized he didn’t even ask for her number.

“oh my god” he mumbled as he came to the realization

"i'm sorry?" one of the GM's said confused.

“uhh— I said I was excited to join the franchise!” he covered up, feeling like an idiot.

hopefully she was still there after the meeting.

the meeting had gone a little to long for his liking and as he raced down to the coffee shop he hoped she was working a long shift.

he opened the door to see a blonde girl who looked old but yet looked young, and a taller boy with curly hair working behind the counter.

“hi. is lola working today?” he said breathlessly

the blonde eyed him for a moment before smirking,

“I don't recall a lola ever working here...my name samantha though” she said with a face that will knew was a face of someone who was lying.

“yes there is, she helped me earlier-"

“if your here to file a complaint against her, I can totally help you then,” she said

“no she was great— wait, you said you didn’t know an lola-“

“your looking for lola?” the other barista cut in

“yeah she was here earlier, i was hoping she was still here”

“she got off like two hours ago but i can give you her number!” the curly haired boy told will. he was one of lola's friends and he wasn’t going to ruin this opportunity for her.

“you totally can’t do that!” the blonde girl said in a nasally voice.

“shutup samantha. go take candy from a baby or something” he sassily told her.

she rolled her eyes before walking away to wipe a table down.

“sorry about her, here’s her number— good luck!”

“thankyou so much” he told him as he thought about what exactly to text the pretty girl.

both lola and will not knowing the epic love story they were about embark on.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

hi guys! i hope this is kinda good, dont feel shy to send in ask and au thoughts… i like never get any but im so open to it!!

[thelov3lybookworm]

Winter Without You

Summary: Its been fifty years since he left. Being happy no longer feels right, and winter no longer feels like winter without him.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: As a gift to all my babies, your lil santa got a lil busy eatin cookies, so here is a late solstice present 😉

(Also to make up for the awful Rhysie in remember me)

(this is mostly Y/n missing and wallowing in sadness because she misses rhysand, the end is reunion)

(i also know this is kind of a break up song, but the lyrics fit 🤷🏻‍♀️)

•○🌑○•

Every year right around this time People putting up trees and lights And I been thinking that this don't feel right 'Cause I'm without you

Everywhere Y/n looked, she found people smiling, with and without reason.

And she could not blame them, for it was the season to be happy.

The coming of solstice had everyone excited, making the air and aura lighter and brighter, filling it with loving laughter and chatter.

Y/n almost hated herself for tainting it with the darkness and sadness she had been carrying around lately.

Almost.

Only because there was no place in her heart for any emotion that was not longing for her husband.

'Cause I'm without you If I could make a list, you'd be the first in it If I could make a wish, you'd show in a minute Only if it was that way But there's some things that I can't change

There had been a new tradition going around Velaris.

Parents had begun telling their children about how the mother would grant their wishes and give them all they wished for if they stayed good all year, in hopes to get them to behave, and Y/n could not help but wish it were true.

Wished that the mother really did grant wishes on solstice, if only it meant Y/n could pray for her husband to be returned to her.

Wished that all she had to do was make a list of things she wanted, the first- and only- thing she wanted being Rhysand, and when she woke up in the morning, she'd find that he had returned.

Y/n sighed, continuing to walk towards the town house after a quick run to the market for some ingredients the wraith twins had asked for.

So now This ain't winter without you No more joy, no laughter Wish that I could turn it back around When I'm falling down

Winter had been Y/n's favourite season. Because colder weather meant drinking hot chocolate prepared by her husband.

It meant snuggling up to his warm body, grinning shyly up at him.

It meant watching him laugh whole heartedly, receiving a kiss on the forehead before he went back to his work, now with her stuck to him like a new limb.

It meant being forced to stand still while he wrapped her up in warm coats and scarves whenever they went out, grumbling about the extra layers and receiving a kiss to quiet her down.

It meant extra time in the bed in the morning with her husband because they both were too lazy to get up.

It meant being stuck to him or following him around like a lost duckling because she was just that desperate for warmth and fire never satiated her needs quite like her husband did.

But that was all before he had left.

Now fifty years had passed, and still it never got easier.

Winter just was not the same without him, and it made her wonder how she had ever lived without him before they met.

So how How am I supposed to go without you? Days gone cold so won't you Say that you'll be home for christmas

She yearned for him.

To simply hear his voice again, to stare into those beautiful eyes, she was ready to bargain away her life.

She no longer cared whether she lived or died, and she would have taken her own life a long time ago if it meant she would not have to bear this pain.

Despite trying to end things multiple times, Y/n could never take that final step, because the last thing she wanted to see before she died was not the ceiling or the wall of her bedroom.

It was those violet eyes she wanted to die to.

She did not want the feeling of the cold hard ground or hanging suspended in the air to be the last thing she felt before that sweet reprieve claimed her.

It was the feeling of strong, warm and loving arms wrapped around her body.

She wished he would at least open his mind to her, so she could at the very least ask him if he was eating well. Sleeping well. Drinking enough water.

Y/n wanted to ask him if he was okay.

Wanted to tell him he was strong, that he was stronger than anyone she had ever known, and to never give up.

Alas, all she could do was want and wish.

All she had done in the past half century.

And if I could turn back the time You'd be in my arms again But there's some things that I can't change

Y/n sometimes cursed the mother for not granting her the power to turn back time, for not making any instrument to fast forward in time, just so she could at least have one glimpse of her lover, her husband, and know that he was alright.

She wished she'd been born with the gift to turn back time so she could have him in her arms again.

Hell, she even perused the books in the library of the house of wind in search of any way to turn back time, didn't matter if it was allowed or not. Even if it went against all laws of nature, if it would curse her soul forever to go against the decision of the Mother.

Mother's happiness and blessing be damned, Y/n just wanted to hold and be held by her husband again.

Even if she'd burn in hell for it.

Heavy snow pouring out my window I pray to stars and the angels No, no more lonely nights 

Y/n sat next to the huge window in the darkened room, arms wrapped around her knees as she watched the snow dance in the air before landing softly onto the already blanketed layer on the ground.

She swallowed down the knot in her throat.

Back before Rhys had left and then been unable to return, he would take Y/n out to play.

Just the way him and his brothers would have snowball fights, he would play with Y/n in the snow, as if the two of them were again kids.

Rhys knew all about Y/n's upbringing, and it had never been glitter and sparkles. So whatever chance he got, he tried to get her to experience everything she had missed out on.

This was one of those things.

Now Y/n sat alone, the sounds of her family celebrating in the background, and she prayed again.

Prayed to the stars, the moon, the night sky, the mother, the angels, the devils and forgotten mortal gods.

Prayed to anyone willing to listen, to return her husband.

She had lost all hope, but still, there was nothing else she could do but sit and pray for his health and safety and hope.

Pray to them so there were no more lonely nights she had to go through.

Hope that he would be by her side again.

So I keep wishing and hoping You'd walk through the door Hold me 'cause I know We'll fight through the cold 

She had stopped celebrating solstice or any other event that she had loved before, because what was the point in celebrating life when the one who kept you alive was probably dying off somewhere?

Y/n sucked in a ragged breath, clenching her eyes shut, feeling the fat tears roll down her cheek.

The sound of footsteps echoed outside the door, and her eyes flashed open, and she stared at the door, wishing, hoping, it was him.

Hoping he walked in through the door, gave her his signature charming smile, and then held her as they both fought to get back to their normal lives.

She would give anything for that piece of imagination to become reality.

Y/n sighed and turned back to the window as the footsteps faded away, likely a family member going to bed.

Now tell me how How am I supposed to go without you? Days gone cold so won't you Say that you'll be home for Christmas

Staring at the stars that he probably could not see, she screamed.

After everyone had gone to bed, Y/n had snuck out of the town house and made her way to the tallest peak in Velaris, and then finally, she let loose.

It had become a tradition, a habit, where every solstice night, Y/n would sneak out of home and come to this exact mountain, and scream up at the stars.

Why her? Why him?

She screamed and screamed, asking the mother, and him- not that he could hear- how she was supposed to live without him.

How she was supposed to be happy without him.

And then, after hours of screaming and cursing at the twinkling starry sky, she would collapse, staring up while laying on her back, whispering, pleading, begging, for some sign that he would return.

That he would be home, at the very least, for the next solstice.

So how How am I supposed to go without you? Days gone cold so won't you Say that you'll be home for Christmas

Exhausted, she would fall asleep, only waking once the soft rays of the sun caressed her skin gently, telling her it was time to start the miserable routine she had fallen into all over again.

She would drag herself back home, suppressing the urge to throw herself into the Sidra, and wait for the next solstice to come around so she could again scream and cry at the injustice of it all.

•○🌑○•

The wards felt different today, Y/n could feel it.

They felt stronger, more lively, though they seemed ready to fall.

What was going on, Y/n could not tell, but as she made her way through the winding passages of the moonstone palace, her heart beat louder and faster, and a sense of longing gripped Y/n's body in a vise-like grip.

Her strolling footsteps hurried, and Y/n was running by the time she reached one of the sitting rooms, the door ajar.

Panting, chest heaving, she took that final step, and her world came to a stop.

She smelled him before she heard him, heard him before she saw him, and saw him before she understood fully who she was staring at.

Rhysand.

Her husband.

The male she was in love with, one she had not seen in fifty long years, one she yearned to get a glimpse of each second of every day spent she spent without.

He stood there, his skin pale as he hugged his cousin, crying, whispering, over and over again, where is she?

Where is my wife?

It took only a moment for the siblings to notice the new presence in the room, but to Y/n, it was another fifty years.

Though this wait she did not mind, for what did a moment compare to eighteen thousand, two hundred sixty-two days?

She simply stared at the embracing siblings, a traitorous tear slipping out of her eye the longer she stared.

And then finally, he lifted his eyes, and glossy violet met hers, widening, more tears slipping out as he pulled away from his cousin, his lips parting on an exhale.

Mor turned to look at Y/n, tear tracks staining her own cheeks, and grinned.

Y/n paid no attention to her though, her eyes tracking her husband's body, marking the amount of weight and muscle he had lost, the loss of colour of his skin, the dimmed shine in his once sparkling eyes.

Y/n swallowed. "Mor? Do you mind giving us a moment?"

"But-"

"Please, Mor." Y/n's voice broke, and she cursed herself for it.

Mor nodded, hastily making her way out of the room.

Y/n reached behind herself to grasp the door, shutting it softly, not taking her eyes off of him once.

She had let him out of her sight once, and as punishment, had been able to see him for fifty years. She would not look away again, not while this felt like a cruel dream the mother was showing Y/n, only to take it all away for her to realise she was dreaming.

"Rhysand." She whispered, taking a step foward.

"Y/n." His voice broke on the name, and he swallowed, tears beginning anew.

When she was close enough, she reached her hand out, running her fingers along his cheek, afraid anything other than the ghost of a touch would make him vanish.

His eyes were pleading, filled with silver, and Y/n wanted to do nothing more than throw herself onto him and never let go.

But she couldn't do that.

She first wanted t make sure this was not some mirage, and that he really was here, unhurt and safe, back with her where he belonged.

Slowly, she cupped his cheek, trying her best to stop any tears from flowing.

When she was sure that this was a miracle, not a mirage, Y/n stepped closer, searching his eyes, his face.

She gently grasped his chin, turning his head this way and that, running her hands along his shoulder and arms, searching for something she hoped was not there.

He laughed, the sound a balm to her frayed nerves.

"You've lost weight." Y/n phrased it like a question.

He smiled softly, sadly. "So have you."

She shook her head. "Are you okay?"

His smile widened, and he leaned forward slightly. "Will get there."

Y/n nodded, and then finally, she extended her arms, snaking them gently around his neck, pressing every inch of her body against his, and buried her face in his neck.

His arms wrapped around her back and waist, and instantly, tension bled from both their bodies. She tightened her hold on him, and he returned it tenfold.

Y/n didn't care he was crushing her, all she knew was she was home, finally.

He was back home.

"I missed you, husband."

"I missed you more, my love."

She pulled back her face to search his nearly empty eyes, and gave him the first smile she had smile in the past fifty years. He rested her forehead against hers, his lips tilted up in contentment.

"Welcome home, my love. Welcome home Rhysand."

•○🌑○•

Rhysand Taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover

General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392

[apomaro-mellow]

okay yall convinced me to continue this

Eddie looked around and all he saw was black. Was this what death was like? He expected more people. But maybe death was just solitude. Then all of a sudden he wasn't alone.

He jumped back when he came face to face with, himself.

"What the fuck?"

His mirror image looked back and smirked. Then looked down at his hands.

"Finally."

"What the hell is going on here? Where am I? W-we?"

"Vecna is putting us back together. We can see everyone again soon."

"You mean...I'm not dead?"

"Oh we're very much alive. In fact, I'd say we're better than before."

As his mirror said that, Eddie felt a new energy thrumming in his veins.

"Why? Why would Vecna do this, I was tryina kill that bastard!"

"He wants something in return. To use us against them."

"Like hell that's gonna happen. I-"

"Didn't let myself get chomped on just so I could be used by an actual murderer."

"How did you-"

"Is it not obvious? I'm still you. But I'm the parts he wants to use. The part that's afraid of Vecna. Afraid of the world for seeing us for what we are. And angry at our lot in life. And ashamed for how we feel."

Eddie didn't respond. It was all a lot to take in. When his other self mentioned shame for feeling something, a certain face popped into his head.

"We're going to see him again. And this time, I'm going to take what I want."

"You put a hand on him and-" Eddie stopped himself. Not only did he feel pretty powerless here, he was never that good at restraining his own actions. "You touch him and he'll kick your ass."

---------------------

After his little stunt, Eddie/Kas found themselves tied up again, this time in Steve's garage. And this time with chains (duct tape boys? really?). Nancy also made sure his legs were chained to the chair and had a shotgun trained on him the whole time they talked.

"We're all sure he's real?", she asked, nudging his cheek with her barrel. She was the only one here to actually experience Vecna's illusions besides Max. She knew how convincing they could be.

"He's real", Jonathan said, a lighter ready just in case. "Steve and the others said so."

Nancy rifled through all the information she got when she received the code red. Something that looked like Eddie had returned. But it was very obviously NOT Eddie. Stronger, faster, more durable. And apparently was receiving orders directly from Vecna. He also apparently had a craving for flesh, having busted into the meat locker of a deli before being found.

"What's your game this time? Use our friend's face to trick us?", she questioned.

"Heh, it really warms our heart that you call us 'friend'. Guess quality time over quantity, huh?" He was smiling, like none of this was a threat to him. Knowing creatures of the Upside Down, it would take more than one bullet, but Nancy had plenty.

"I believe I laid down my terms with the others pretty clearly. I'll follow your rules, so long as Steve is the one to watch me."

"Why Steve?", Jonathan asked.

Kas grinned at him. "Steve's my favorite."

"Oh my god, shut up, shut up, shut up", Eddie lamented from their shared mental space.

While Nancy and Jonathan were handling that situation in the garage, Steve was trying to get a grip on what was happening in his house. They were practically running up the walls.

"Steve you don't understand!", Dustin exclaimed. "This is huge!"

"I don't see how a monster posing as Eddie is huge?"

"But they're not just posing. It IS Eddie", Mike said.

"We don't know that. Not until Nancy confirms it."

Will rolled his eyes. "Oh like she'd know. She talked to Eddie for what? A day?"

"Cut the sass. And if you can talk, you can move your hands." Steve handed Will the knife and pushed some peppers his way.

"The point is WE, you know the people who actually hung out with Eddie would know him better. We should be the ones interrogating him", Lucas said, actually doing his duty of buttering a casserole dish.

"The other point is we don't NEED to question him because we already know that it's actually Eddie", Dustin said. "Vecna wouldn't know who Kas is. Eddie's in there. And he's telling us that he's on our side."

"You remember what Max told us, right? Vecna gets in your head. He sees what you see, knows what you know." Steve took the dish from Lucas and poured some rice into it. "If he got to Eddie, then he knows what Eddie knows." When Will finished dicing, Steve took the knife and was about to wash it under running water when he heard someone approach.

"Is Mama Steve making dinner?"

Steve reacted first and thought second and the knife flew threw the air. Kas caught it easily and twirled the knife in his hand.

"Nice aim. Lemme guess, little league?"

Nancy and Jonathan were right behind him. Steve wanted to respond. Maybe ask 'what the hell? why isn't he tied up? Nancy where's your gun?' But the kids got to it first.

"Tell us everything!" Mike demanded.

Dustin started rallying off questions. "Are you actually Eddie? Just enhanced? Or like a split personality? Is it one that came naturally or one Vecna implanted? Is Eddie like inside of you? Can he come out?"

"All in due time", Kas said, walking by them all to get to Steve, who once again looked like a deer with a car coming straight on.

"We struck a deal, princess. Looks like we're roomies."

There was still at least a foot separating them yet Steve felt boxed in. It was the same sensation he got whenever Eddie talked to him and only him, but intensified.

"Umm, hope you like chicken and rice?"

Internally, Eddie was falling to his knees. Steve's cooking, Steve in the process of cooking, with his little chickadees orbiting him. It was a domestic scene too much for his pining heart and he was actually glad right now that he wasn't holding the reins. Falling to his knees for chicken and rice wasn't the best look for a metalhead.

"Eddie would love some", Kas said cooly.

--------------------------

Dinner was an odd affair. All of them trying to figure out Kas in their own way. Dustin and Mike with their blatant questions, Lucas telling them to cool it, Nancy with her more subtle line of questioning, Will trying to see if he could feel anything, and Jonathan trying to see if Will was effected.

Steve was the only one pointedly trying to ignore the man which was very difficult given that he was doing everything in his power to get his attention. His favorite move seemed to be nudging Steve's foot with his own, causing Steve to bump his knee against the table at least three times.

Eddie wanted to roll into a hole and die. He especially wanted to do so when Kas started eyeing Steve's leg, because he knew what was coming.

"No, absolutely not. He let you get away with this much. But he will rip of your hand for this", Eddie said.

"I think he'd let us get away with much more." So Kas went ahead and put his hand on Steve's thigh, making him jolt up from his chair.

So yeah, quite the interesting dinner.

After eating, they figured out a rotation schedule for watching him. Technically Steve was only on the schedule for six hours a day. But considering Kas would be at his house the entire time, they'd be spending a lot more time together.

The rest of them were getting ready to leave so that they could check in with the others, but Nancy hung back to talk to Steve semi-privately.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?"

Steve glanced at the mysterious figure that was masquerading as Eddie, who was openly leering at him while ignoring the children.

"I'll be..uh, I can hang in there Nance, don't worry."

Then everyone else left, leaving the two of them alone. Steve felt a little like caged prey. But he also felt like this version of Eddie wouldn't hurt him. Not physically at least. But that left other things to do to him and Steve was afraid to go down that rabbit hole of possibilities.

"It's just you and me, Steve."

Part 3A More plotty, fluffy, bit of angst

Part 3B Less plotty, more smutty

Tag team:

@jestyzesty

@mightbeasleep

@findafight

@spooky-mulders

[firelordsfirelady]

XIV. Paroxysmal of Anger

Author: @firelordsfirelady

Imagine: When Y/N—a princess of one of the Water Tribes—is told she’s leaving her tribe, she never expects that she’s to be betrothed to the Fire Lord’s son, nor was she prepared to be exiled the very day she arrived at the Fire Nation. With her life in the hands of her new fiancée, how will life change for the princess? 

Pairing: Zuko x F!Reader

Trigger warnings: arranged marriage, feelings of fear, banishment, mentions of burns/abuse, frustration, violence, betrayal, language

Word Count: 1824

Destined to be Yin and Yang 

I own no rights to Avatar the Last Airbender or any of the characters/story. 

Author’s Notes

The characters as all aged up so Zuko’s banishment happens when he’s 16 

Keep in mind I am bringing a unique world with inspiration from ATLA in their characters, some of the events that happen, bending, etc. Not many things may align or occur with what happened in the show. It’s intended that way, so I hope you enjoy it regardless.

See Y/N’s inspiration here. 

Destined to be Yin and Yang Soundtrack (YouTube)

A few days later, the weather outside was much warmer than the frigid air of the Water tribe, so I was happily barefoot on the deck of the boat as I wore my lighter water tribe dress. I was mindlessly practicing my bending on the deck when Zuko approached me. Guiding the small strand of water, Zuko was briefly surrounded by dancing water stream before I let the stream return back home to the sea around us. I smiled as I turned around to look at the Prince. He wore a short-sleeved black top that showed off his caramel skin and made him look like a badass.

“I will never tire of weather as beautiful as this.” I walked closer to Zuko before I asked, “Are you ready for me to finally win?” Zuko’s cocky grin made my heart race as I focused on the battle ahead.

I dodged the fireball Zuko threw at me before I used a wave of ice to slide towards him before swiping my leg to try and knock the firebender off of his feet. Anticipating my move, Zuko countered me by grabbing my ankle and sliding me the opposite way on my ice. He quickly let off three fireballs my way. I rolled to avoid the first one then put up an ice shield that provided enough protection for me to stand up and ninja-roll into a standing position and fire a ball of water to put out the other fireball.

I summoned a tornado of water and centered it around Zuko. Gracefully dancing around the tornado, my limbs flowed in the air like the element I was born to bend as Zuko rushed out of the water devil. I twirled in a low circle as the water tornado changed into wave crashing into Zuko and knocking him over then I froze him in place. I was focusing on the ice hold when Iroh loud tea slurping sounded in my ear. Letting out a yelp, I lost concentration on my hold of Zuko and fell on my butt. I flicked the hair that had fallen over my face back where it belonged then brushed myself off before I stood up.

“Lesson learned--” I said after connecting with the ground again as Zuko leg swiped me and straddled me as his hand wrapped around my throat. “Don’t get distracted.” Zuko smiled victoriously for a moment before I cockily smiled at him.

“You really do like this position huh?” Zuko’s eyes widened at my brash comment and his grip faltered, which gave me the opportunity to buck my hips upwards. Throwing Zuko offbalance, I quickly grabbed his wrists as I flipped us over and straddled him before leaning down to whisper in his ear.

“I like this one better.” The intoxicating smell of rainwater and moss overwhelmed my senses, and I struggled slightly to keep my words even. Smiling victoriously as I leaned back and stood up. “I say I won this one.” I offered my hand to help the Firebender off of the group. With a face as red as a tomato, he accepted my hand to help him stand up.

“I definitely won that one.” Zuko said as he smoothed down his shirt. “I had you on the ground first.”

“I technically had you on the ground until Iroh worked on your behalf.” I smirked as Zuko rolled his eyes at me. “Can’t you just let me have this one victory?”

“No.” I rolled my eyes and sighed dramatically.

“Men and their fragile egos.” I said as I placed the back of my hand slightly against my forehead before I leaned slightly to one side. “How do they survive anything?” I laughed at myself as I straightened up and looked at Iroh who had a huge grin on his face as he looked at Zuko and me.

“Look at the two of you getting along so well.” Iroh beamed, and Zuko immediately froze beside me as he shook his head.

“She is to be my wife.” Zuko said in an even tone despite the blush on his face as he avoided looking at me. “It is my duty to get along with her.”

For some odd reason, the way Zuko said that hurt my heart, but I put a smile on my lips.

“Why don’t the two of you join me for dinner this evening?” Iroh never stopped beaming as he looked between us. “I heard the chef’s have gotten a fresh catch from the local fishery.” I bowed to the older firebender in appreciation.

“I’d love to.” I smiled as I straightened then excused myself to go bathe and change.

A few hours later, I was seated around a large wooden table with Iroh sitting across from me and Zuko to my right. The conversation was light in the room as we all spoke of how the day had been and other casual conversation. A light knock on the door sounded, and several Fire Nation members walked in to deliver a plate of fish to the three of us.

“Thank you, Shisam,” I said with a smile as the fish was placed down in front of me. “How was the fishery?” Shisam gave me a soft smile back before he bowed. 

“The fishery was the fishery,” He said lightly, and I let out a small chuckle. “But I did hear that the Avatar is on Kyoshi Island.” The sound of a fork hitting a plate sounded as the words came out of the crew member’s mouth, and I didn’t need to look to know the fork belonged to Zuko.

“Set course for Kyoshi’s Island right away, and ready the rhinos.” Zuko stood up and began to walk away from the table as his long robes flowed behind him. 

“Are you going to finish the fish?” Iroh asked, stopping Zuko mid stride. 

“I was going to finish it later.” Zuko said as he grabbed his plate of fish and left. I chuckled at Iroh’s disappointment before sliding my plate over to him. 

“You can have mine.” I gave the older man a smile. “I want to join them this time.” Iroh frowned at me.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” His face twisted in concern. “It will not be pretty. Zuko is liable to burn the entire village down to get the Avatar.”

“I won’t lie and say that I think it’s the best idea, but I have a feeling it’s important for me to go.” Iroh nodded in agreement.

“You may be right in that, but I also worry because the Kyoshi warriors are exceptional at fighting.” I nodded as I heard Iroh’s concern in his voice.

“Perhaps I shall see if Zuko needs me.” I bowed to Iroh, who smiled at me.

“Whether the Prince admits it or not, he does need you.” Iroh's soft words were spoken as I reached the threshold of the door, but I didn’t say anything as I walked away. I slowly walked towards Zuko’s room, but the man himself came rushing out of his room dressed in a warrior’s uniform. I had just opened my mouth to speak when he started talking.

“You are to stay on the boat.” Zuko ordered as I fell in stride with him as he made haste towards the deck. “I do not need anyone getting in my way of capturing the Avatar.” I frowned at his words. 

“I am—“

“That’s an order.” Zuko turned to look at me as he practically growled, and I narrowed my eyes as I stepped into his personal space.

“I am your fiancée,” I said in a low growl back. “I do—“

“You are a waterbender that my father decided to place by my side,” Zuko’s voice was angry as he turned around to face me as we arrived on deck, and it drew the attention of the crew. “The only thing you’re good at is being a training partner.” My heart seized in my chest as I narrowed my eyes and clenched my fists. 

“The only thing you’re good at is being an asshole.” My words were low enough so only Zuko could hear them. “You are so caught up in catching the Avatar that—“

“Maybe I’ve been playing into your fantasies for too long.” Zuko’s shout made the world stop around me. “You are nothing short of a distraction and—“ The sound of my palm connecting with Zuko’s cheek was enough to send me over the edge.

“Perhaps it was me who was playing into your fantasies, Prince Zuko.” His formal title came out of my mouth like it left a bitter taste on my tongue as I seethe in anger. 

“You are nothing more than a lost Prince trying to earn his daddy’s respect.” I no longer whispered the words, and I gave no care to whoever was listening. I saw only red as I looked at the Prince, who was now staring at me in shock. “You want the respect of a man who has never ever given a shit about you and has only sought to destroy who you are.” Shaking in rage, I continued.

“But if you want to call one of the few people aboard this ship who actually believes in you a distraction,” I narrowed my eyes as tears blurred my visions. “Then you have truly lost your damn mind.” Turning on my heel, I saw a blurry vision of Iroh as I walked away from the Prince. “I hope you get your fucking Avatar.” I yelled as I opened the door to the cabins and walked inside before tears fell down my face and I quietly added, “Maybe then I’ll actually mean something to you.”

I paid no mind as the boat started moving again within an hour, nor did I pay any mind to the knock on my door shortly afterwards. The pencil in my hand worked on the sketch on the paper in front of me, and I didn’t answer as another knock, louder than the first, sounded on my door.

“Y/N,” Zuko’s voice sounded from the other side of the door. “Open the door.” I rolled my eyes and ignored him as I continued to draw the picture of a waterbender. A couple of minutes passed of silence before Zuko knocked again. I practically growled as I put the pencil down and flung open the door to see the shocked expression on Zuko’s face. Without saying anything to him, I slammed the door in his face.

“Consider your order followed.” I growled through the door as I sat back down in my chair. Seconds passed before Zuko’s footsteps moved away from the door and I heard his door across the hall close. The organ responsible for my heartbeat felt dead as I crossed my arms across my chest. 

Zuko’s words earlier had hurt me deeply, and I was too hurt to talk to him right now.

Tag List @chevysstuffs @puttyly @ginger24880 @night-fall-moon @junieshohoho @0kauy @coolgirl458 @hypnoticbeing @angelruinz @preeyansha @playboygeniusphilanthropist @ssonniiu  @chi-ara @hagridshaircare @stell404  @kyo-kyo1 @herondale-lightworm @simonsbluee @nadlx33333 @nerdisthenewcool @jewelsrules @soggycrout0n

[the---hermit]

I have not kept it a secret that this semester commuting has been really rough on me. By the time I get home in the middle of the afternoon even if I only had to sit in a hour and a half lecture I feel like an overcooked noodle. And the mornings aren't any easier, my anxiety has been spiking a lot lately, and that messes me up completly, and it's particularly hard on my stomach. Let's just say it's a very demanding period of my life both physically and emotionally and I have been doing my best to get through it with ups and downs, but most importantly by trying to properly take care of myself. I decided to compile a list of small things that have been helping me, both for future reference as well as for people who might be dealing with similar issues.

Prep everything I can the night before. I don't leave the house until more or less mid morning since my class is on lunch time more or less (and this will come up again), so I do have time to do stuff in the morning, but if I have already put everything I need in my backpack, picked an outfit for the day and checked that I have my bus ticket the night before I can have a much calmer morning. Having a calm morning is fundamental for me on any day, so especially when I have a stressful and energy demanding day ahead I want to make sure I don't have to rush, and here is my second point.

Try to have a morning as calm as possible before I have to leave. I am a morning person so I wake up quite early which means I have plenty of time to take it easy. And this means drink my tea as I read my book, prep the last few things I need, like my waterbottle, eat (on which I'll have a later point). Overall my morning before leaving needs to be slow and mostly made of things for myself so again my precious reading time, listening tocmusic as I get ready to get in a better mood and so on.

Taking my meds regularly. It's the logical thing to do, if I am in a period in which my anxiety is worse than usual the number one goal is to be consistent with meds, they are there to help me even if sometimes I forget that.

Finding ways to enjoy food when anxiety fucks up my stomach. What happens is that as soon as I have an anxiety spike for some reason I get very nauseous, which is terribly by itself and it gets worse when it makes me struggle to enjoy my food. But I found a couple of ways to work around that in the past few weeks. Eating when I am away from home is much worse so what I do is embrace the little hobbit in me and have more meals when I am at home, and just bring some snacks on the road if I need them. That means I have two breakfasts before I have to leave the house, the last being a bit more filling. And then when I get home no matter how tired I am or what time it is I cook something for myself, something simple, but I take the time to make something good that fills me up and makes me happy. Because having a full stomach does improve your mood belove me. When I am on the road I bring some lighter snacks that can help me if I feel like I need to have something but that will also work well if I have a spike in anxiety and correlated nausea. I usually eat some homemade bread while I walk from the bus stop to my uni, and then snack on some nuts while I wait for the lecture. And I always have an emergency sweet treat in my backpack because that is something that I actually do on a regular basis. This thing has been working very well, I have had less problems with my stomach acting up, and I am definitely getting all the nutrients I need during the day, just at times that are a bit different from my normal routine.

Bring tea with me. It's something I never did before but it's becoming the one thing I won't give up. I either make a green tea or an herbal tea that I drink before the lecture, and it's been so good for me both physically and mentally. It's been super cold so the warm treat is really needed, but most importantly it's been very comforting and calming, so shutout to my dad for suggesting that.

Having little things to look out for during the commute. This mostly consists of me listing to podcasts, and re:dracula has been of great company in my commutes last year so it's nice it's become a bit of a tradition. It's just good for me not to associate commuting with negative things, so now I just percieve it as poscast time which makes it much much better. This also includes texing friends when I feel like I can look at the screen of my phone without getting car sick (again when anxiety messes me up I can get random car sickness), that's good to keep my mind off things and make the commute feel lighter.

Total relax when I get home. Which sometimes means lying in bed with a cup of tea and nothing more. If I have enough brain power I might read a comic, or play stupid midless games on my tablet for a bit. Honestly just things that need as little energy and brainpower as possible because by that time I do not have much energy or brainpower left, and it's okay. I normally use up a lot of energy when going out and it this period of time all tasks require I use even more energy. I can't do much about it other than accept it and do my best to tke care of myself.

[chronicowboy]

Natalia texts him four days after Kameron interrupts their date. He has to admit its a shock. He'd kind of just assumed that whatever thing that may have been blooming between them had shrivelled and died. He hadn't been as distraught as he thought he might be, in fact he'd been a little lighter since she walked out.

(Until Eddie had told them about bumping into Marisol at the hardware store, but he doesn't really want to think about that too closely.)

They meet up at a coffee shop because Buck isn't quite sure what to expect, but somehow inviting her back to his apartment feels like a step over the line.

"I'm really sorry," she says as soon as she sits down. "I reacted poorly and I just wanted to get my head on straight before I got back to you again."

"I get it," Buck shrugs, smiles. "I dropped a hell of a lot on you that night. Like all at once. Guess its easier when its just words and not a very pregnant woman on your doorstep."

"Yeah." Natalia laughs, ducking her head. Buck knows she's beautiful, stunning even, but he doesn't feel it. "It was a bit of a shock to say the least." She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and looks up at him. "I was blindsided, I reacted badly, I'm sorry."

Buck bites back the instinctual dismissal on his tongue, hears an echo of Eddie's you don't have to be anything for anyone.

"Thank you for saying that." Its an awkward thing to say, but Buck is getting better at not cutting parts of himself off to fit into other's perception of him.

"Did I blow this?" She grimaces at him, an apologetic thing that makes Buck huff a small laugh. "I feel like I blew it." She bites her lip. "Its just... You know, you spend so much of your life confronting death that you forget to be afraid of it. But the act of creating life," she releases a long exhale, "that's terrifying to me."

"And I get that." Buck nods, but he doesn't. Not really. His job is filled with so much death, life is a luxury, a privilege. Every time they get to help a mother give birth to her child, Buck feels an old wound from a loss on the job heal. The circle of life, Chim would call it.

"I just." Natalia sighs. "This isn't really something you say on like a third date, but I also feel like the whole sperm donor thing wasn't a second date topic, so I'm just gonna say it anyway." She glances over at a couple in the corner, the man wiping foam off their toddler's chin. "I'm not ready for the whole life thing." Buck blinks. "Like kids. I just don't see it happening for me. That's why I reacted the way I did."

"Because Kameron was pregnant?" Buck frowns, heart stuck on her words.

"Because you're a father," she says plainly.

"But I'm not." Buck huffs, scrubs his hands over his trousers. "I'm the donor, not the dad. I'm not really involved. I just gave them my DNA. Sure, I might see the kid from time to time but that's because Connor and Kameron are my friends. Its not because I'm actually that kid's father."

"But..."

"No, Natalia. I am nothing to that child apart from a family friend. That's it." Buck says it and something inside him settles.

"You're sure?"

"Positive." Buck nods. "You want to get a coffee? Try again?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice." She smiles at him, and Buck reaches for his phone just as it buzzes.

christopher: i need your help

christopher: dad's hopeless

Buck snorts down at the texts and shoots an apologetic look up at Natalia as he types out a response.

tell him not to touch anything and i'll come over to help around dinner

"Everything okay?" Natalia quirks an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." Buck stuffs his wallet into his pocket as they stand up. "Eddie, um, firefighter Diaz," she nods in recognition, "he's trying to help his son with this big project he has. And Christopher is asking me for help, so I can only assume he's doing an embarrassingly bad job."

christopher: you better hurry, i don't want to fail because dad glued his sliders to the floor

Buck sends a line of emojis he know Chris will get a kick out of decoding before looking up at a silent Natalia. There's something calculating to the slight furrow between her brows that makes his hackles rise.

"And..." She purses her lips. Buck finds himself swallowing in anticipation of whatever she's about to say. "Do you help your co-worker's son with his homework a lot?"

"Eddie's my best friend," Buck clarifies. "Well, no. Christopher is my best friend. But Eddie's a close second. I help out whenever I can." He cuts himself off before he can say anything else, already feeling like he's revealed too much. "Um, w-why?"

"Do you have a picture of him?" she asks. Buck flashes his lockscreen at her, and Natalia smiles sweetly but it looks like she's just figured something out. "He's cute."

"The cutest," Buck murmurs, stealing a quick look at the picture of Chris squirming away from one of Eddie's hugs. "Although he'd probably disown me as a best friend for calling him that now. He's getting too old."

"Buck," Natalia says softly, "I don't think this is going to work out."

"What?" He frowns, figures it would be rude to check his texts when he's being broken up with - if it can even be called a break-up at this point.

"Just the concept of you bringing life into this world was enough to terrify me." She shrugs. "But there's an actual, real life you're shaping and helping to do his homework and looking at like he's the reason you came back from the dead. What am I supposed to do with that?"

"Christopher's not my kid, though." It feels like a lie as he says it, tastes like ash in his mouth the moment he thinks it.

"Isn't he?" Natalia taps his phone screen so that it lights up on that same picture of Christopher. She smiles at him weakly. "It was nice meeting you, Buck. Thanks for giving me some answers about death, I hope you can find the answers in your life."

Natalia leaves him in the coffee shop with a sweep of her hand down his arm, and Buck fumbles with a thousand desires all rising to the surface at once. None of which are a desire to run after her. But there's one, there's one stronger, louder, bigger than all the rest. One that makes him want to run all the way to homework club.

on my way, bud

[avenirdelight]

A False Accusation

Anyone You Like

They have a heated argument where she drops an accusation on him. He claims that it’s a false accusation.

⚠️ Curse words

“You don't love me.”

She voiced the words to the room, clearly and firmly. Strangely enough, saying it out loud didn’t make her chest feel lighter like she’d thought it would. It still felt as suffocating as it had been.

“Wow,” he scoffed, his shoulders shook when he did. “That’s a terrible accusation, that.”

She glanced at him, but she quickly dropped her gaze again after she noticed the hurt plastered all over his face. He couldn’t believe that she had the audacity to say such cruel words.

“And also,” he continued, leaning forward on the sofa, propping his body with his elbows on his knees. “It’s a false accusation. That’s terrible from you.”

She was sitting on the other sofa across from him, leaning back and folding her arms in front of her chest. She could feel his eyes boring into her and she couldn’t resist the temptation to stare back at him. So she did.

She gritted her teeth. Those eyes were angry, those eyes had used to look at her in the most special way. She refused to believe that it was just in her head, that she was just making it up, because she had used to easily fall in love all over again every time she looked at those eyes but at some point, she started to feel that they’d changed.

“Really?” She challenged him, giving him a sharp look that matched his.

He scoffed again, pinching the bridge of his nose in stress. He shook his head. He couldn’t quite believe that she truly believed that he didn’t love her. Where did it even come from?

“Are you telling me that I lie every time I tell you I love you? Mind you, I say that every single day,” he said. But she was silent, so he continued. “Don’t I always give you everything? Make sure that you have everything you need, that you’re safe?” He asked. If she forgot about that, he was ready to remind her of all the things he did for her. Everything that he needed to sacrifice. “I give you my world.”

“You give me your money.” Her voice was firm and certain. And it stabbed him right in his heart. 

It wasn’t that she was ungrateful for everything he’d given her. Moving her into his big house, constantly buying her expensive gifts, taking her to travel the world on holidays, giving her a luxury life—but that wasn’t the reason she’d fallen in love with him. She was never in it for the dime.

She had fallen in love with him for who he was. Or at least who he had used to be.

“I’m thankful that you gave me this wonderful life but I really don’t need the latest Prada release or to be on a yacht every holiday. I don’t need new jewellery every time you feel sorry, I don’t need you to surprise me with flowers in the morning just for you to go missing for the rest of the day.” 

“I thought you liked them. Have you been lying, then?”

“I do appreciate them but that’s not the point! The point is I need you!” She sounded so desperate. She honestly had been feeling this way for a while and she hoped that this time he was really listening to her. “I just need a little bit of your time, for you to be with me, and not just physically. You’re with me but your head is somewhere else. I need you to just look at me, I–”

“Well, I’m sorry, okay?!” He cut her off, the tone of his voice rising up. “I’m sorry that my work demands so much of my time, it asks so much from me, I’ve always told you that from the beginning. My career is my life and there would be rough bumps along the way. Things get hard, things–”

“Yeah, that’s the problem, don’t you see??” Her tone was as high now, it was only adding to the tension. “You run away from me when things get hard for you. You don’t even want to share anything with me. You give me gifts and temporary attention to ‘make up’ for it. Every time!” She stood up from the sofa. She frustratingly pointed a finger against her chest, giving him a piercing gaze. “Am I so untrustworthy or unreliable? Am I that insufferable to deal with so you don’t want to open up to me?”

“Don’t.” He shook his head, clenching his fists. “Don’t start making up things now. I never for a second think about you that way.”

“Well, you always make me wonder. Wonder why you shut me out.” She shrugged. “It’s the truth, you can’t deny it. You always leave me out of things.”

“I’m just protecting you!” He abruptly stood up. “I can’t– I’m sorry if it’s hard for me to share things that I know would just hurt you and stress you out!” He moved his hands animatedly and quite angrily. “Don’t you understand?! I am saving you the troubles and the pain!”

“I want the f*cking pain!!” 

Her voice pierced through his ears and he froze in his place, feeling shivers down his spine. He clenched his jaw and gulped. The anger, the desperation, the pain that she had been holding in, she’d just let it all out. She’d gotten so upset at this point, the tears quickly pooled in her eyes and threatened to fall. It pained him even more. He had never seen her like this.

“I’d rather feel the pain, suffer with you.” Her voice was small and timid this time, but there were so many emotions in it. “I’d choose that, rather than feeling left out and not appreciated. I promise you that’s the worst thing to feel. I hate it. I absolutely f*cking hate it.”

He sat back down, burying his face into his hands, trying to compose himself and find the right words to say. He felt her anger, her sadness, but he also needed her to understand that he did everything for a reason.

He let out a little sigh as he looked up to her. Her tears were already streaming down her cheeks. 

“I don't live a normal life and all I’m trying to do is to keep you out of the abnormalities and all the absurd things. The sh*t people say out there, it gets scary sometimes. People are actually willing to do foolish and crazy things to bring me down.” He spoke with a more gentle tone, trying to reason with her. “And if you’re hurt, if something bad happens to you, I won’t be able to forgive myself.”

She wiped her tears away with her shaky hands, before she hugged herself with arms, trying to provide herself some comfort. He didn’t only sound serious, he also sounded sorry.

“What do you want me to do, then?” He stared at her with tired eyes. The anger in his eyes had worn off, it even looked like he was going to cry. “I’m sorry. I really am.” His voice was a bit shaky. “I’ll do whatever makes you happy. Please. I can’t lose you. What am I going to be if I lose you?”

Her heart clenched painfully. She couldn’t deny that it was heartbreaking to see himself asking the question—like he was really scared to lose her, like his world would crumble down in an instant if he lost her. She had never seen him like this before. He’d always appeared strong in front of her, like nothing could ever bring him down, like no one could ever catch him looking weak.

“Every single thing that I’ve ever done is to protect you and to make you happy, to earn your love. Most of the time I don’t think I deserve you, you know. Because you deserve more than this f*cking fool,” he said pointing at himself. “Who apparently doesn’t know how to love. I’m sorry if I’ve done it the wrong way and made you feel the opposite way.”

Without her even realising it, what she’d been wishing to see was happening right in front of her—for him to open up to her and show his vulnerable side. Her tears fell again, but for a different reason this time. She felt his confusion, his sorrow, and she was hurting with him.

After a moment of deafening silence, he suddenly stood up. He approached her, who was just standing with her head down. He grabbed her by her waist and turned her to look at him. He fixed her dishevelled hair, tucking stray strands of hair to the back of her ears. He lifted her head up by her chin, before he continued to wipe her tears again. Every touch was so gentle, every touch felt gave her warmth and comfort that she’d been longing.

“Look at me, please,” he said. She finally shifted her gaze up and stared back at him. His eyes were looking at her fondly. “I love you so much. Please believe me.” He choked up, trying his best to convey his feelings through his voice. “I took you home to my mum and told her you’re the most special person in my life, I try to treat you like a queen, I see you and talk about you like you’re my prized possession, because you are.”

She listened to him. She tried to really listen to him. And honestly, this time it wasn’t so hard to believe him. She appreciated that he was finally opening up, even though it had taken them quite a long time to get there, not to mention all the struggle they had had to go through. But he finally found his courage to be fragile.

“Do you know what? You don’t have to be strong all the time,” she said as his hands fell to her waists and safely rested there. Her voice was almost a whisper. “I’m your girlfriend. You have a responsibility to protect me, but I also have a responsibility to be your partner. So let me do my part.” She held his face and stroked a thumb on his cheek. “We do this together. We’re supposed to go through happiness and sadness together, we go through all the troubles together. You hear me?”

“Yeah, I hear you.” He nodded. “I’m really sorry, okay? I love you,” he said again, before she pulled him into a hug.

“I love you too. I love you,” she mumbled against his shoulder. She heard him letting out a sob as his chest and shoulders shook. He held her tight, and it had been a while since it felt like this. She felt heard and seen. She felt loved. It was all she ever wanted.

And he couldn’t describe the wave of relief that washed over him. He really thought that his biggest fear, losing her, was really going to happen. He realised that he’d actually failed her. All this time he had loved her his own way which he thought was the best and the safest way but apparently, it didn’t give her the safety he wanted for her. She was right—they had to do this together, and it meant that he had to listen to her, count her thoughts and feelings.

He would try. He promised he would try his best to see her how she wanted to be seen, and love her how she wanted to be loved. Because she was the most important person in his life, and he’d do anything to make himself deserve her.

—

i had this sitting on my draft and i almost forgot about it! i kept switching between john and hendo when i wrote it. tell me who you imagined this! i hope you enjoyed it<3

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[lala3244]

Heartbreaks : SATAN Part 2

~ Hello everyone! I am back again. I decided to end this part 2 with a happy ending for a change. I hope you enjoy it ~

(I don't think there is any warnings? Maybe that I didn't edit the writing so I am sorry about any mistake!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You started dating them but others had decided they should date demons of powerful lineage not a mere human.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SATAN part 1

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had waited a few days before talking to Satan. He had avoided everyone, stopped eating in the dining room with all of you. He just stayed in his room only leaving when he had to go to R.A.D. Before going to see him, you had talked to Lucifer and Diavolo, asking for a meeting with the two of them. It didn’t go quite as well as you thought it would have gone. You knew you were only a guest in the Devildom and didn’t have any influence but you thought you had some powers as you had a good relationship with the future King of the Devildom and the former angel. 

The meeting ended with you leaving, mad at them and with tears in your eyes. You might not be able to be with Satan but you didn’t want him to be with someone he didn’t want to be with. He actually never admitted his feelings for you but before the argument with him, you felt like he was looking for comfort in you and it filled you with a bitter warmth. You decided to take the long way back to the House of Lamentation to clear your head when you bumped into Simeon, one of the exchange student from the Celestial Realm. You smiled at him when you realised who he was but when he saw your eyes red from crying his face, which was wearing a smile upon your encounter, changed into a face of concern. He grabbed your cheeks and wiped your tears away. His presence filled you with a sense of calmness which you enjoyed for a few moments. You looked up at him, still smiling “Hey Simeon”. He smiled back “Hey you” and kissed your forehead. He had warmed up to you since you both met in front of Diavolo and the others for your first day in the Devildom. He had become a reliable friend during the last few weeks and you were happy to see him right now. He knew about your growing relationship with Satan and was really supporting about it. He took you to sit down on a nearby bench and you explained everything. Simeon had always good advice about everything and he had some for this situation as well so you went back home, feeling lighter and better. 

You knocked on Satan’s bedroom door. It was quiet “Satan? It’s me. Are you in there!” There was silence then you heard a boom and a “go away”. You nodded to yourself. Clearly, he was still not ready to talk to you so you went back to your room and went to sleep. The next day, you woke up early and prepared some food for you and Satan and went to his bedroom. This time you didn’t knock and just opened the door. You put on your brightest smile, tray in your hands, “Good morning Satan! I hope you slept well!” And you sat down on his bed then put the tray on his night table. He opened one eye and you heard him groan. You shook him slightly on the shoulder “Satan? You know I am risking my life by waking you up. I’ll wait for you to wake up properly but I am not leaving your room until we speak and we eat breakfast.” So you waited. He mumbled something and turned his back to you. You smiled to yourself, he wasn’t going to kill you that was a good first step. You waited again then finally he turned around and looked you up. You could see his bright eyes thanks to the moon that was full. He sat up and turned his bedside lamp on. “How did you you manage to walk around without any lights on?” You shrugged. “I was lucky, I guess” You were glad that he took your intrusion into his sleep and room so calmly. He took the tray and set it on the bed between the two of you so you could also eat. “What did you want to talk about?” You stared into his eyes, trying to see if really he didn’t know or he was just testing you. You decided for the latter. “You have been MIA for the last few days for dinner. What’s up?” He smirked, he knew you knew “I couldn’t bear to see Lucifer.” You hummed “I see” he ate a forkful of breakfast “Did you miss me?” You chuckled “I might have.” He nodded, happy with your answer and carried on eating. You started to pick at your food while thinking about what to say next but he interrupted your thoughts process. “Is it really what you wanted to tell me or ask me?” You blushed slightly. Of course, it wasn’t but you weren’t sure what to say. “Maybe” you shrugged. He chuckled and you smiled at him. He looked like the Satan you started to fall in love with. So you chatted about the last few days. 

After your breakfast with Satan, you left and got ready to go to RAD. You heard a knock on your door when you were about to leave your room so you opened the door. The Avatar of Wrath was standing there, a sheepish look on his face, “Hey, would you mind walking with me to RAD.” Your heart skipped a beat and you felt the heat creeping up your cheeks but you agreed anyway. So you walked to RAD, next to each other, talking as if nothing never happened. You were so happy to have your Satan back that you forgot why you had argued in the first place but you got reminded of it when Lucifer saw the two of you talking and he looked at you with a concerned frown. You stopped talking and stayed silent for a while and Satan stopped walking and grabbed your arm. “What’s wrong?” You inhaled deeply, trying to fight the tears back. “Nothing. Just got reminded of something” He started to say something but got interrupted by Lord Diavolo. “Satan, good morning, I would like to talk to you after classes.” Satan’s mood changed and walked away from you. You lowered your head as Lord Diavolo also left after telling you to have a good day and you started to walk towards your class. After your class ended, you tried to look for Satan in the hallways but you couldn’t see even a strand of his blond hair. You had a couple of classes with him so you hoped you could talk to him but when he arrived, he stared at you and sat down next to someone else. You sighed with disappointment, you couldn’t understand why he acted like that but you shrugged it off and waited for him to have the meeting to know what was that all about. The day went by quickly and you walked home with the other brothers. You knew Satan had to stay behind but you couldn’t help and look around to see him, in vain of course.

You were in your bedroom, studying, when you heard the front door opened and closed. It was quietly done so you imagined it was one of the brothers going out but after a few seconds there was a knock on your door. You couldn’t be bothered to go up and open it so you just shouted for the person to enter. You turned around and gasped as you weren’t expecting Satan. You thought he would have entered the House of Lamentation by destroying the front door and everything around but he was standing there, calm with a blank expression on his face. He sat down on your bed and patted the duvet next to him as a sign for you to come over so you followed his silent order. You tried to read his body language but it didn’t give you anything so you waited anxiously for him to talk. He cleared his throat “I have met the demon I am supposed to date.” You nodded but didn’t say anything. “They seem quite nice.” You nodded again. “I talked a bit with them, one of their hobbies is reading.” You nodded, this time tears started welling up in your eyes. He put his hand on yours as he looked at you and saw your eyes. “I have a date with them tomorrow evening.” Again, you nodded and whispered “okay”. He grabbed your chin slowly “Is that all you are going to say?” You looked up in his eyes and saw hurt in them. You chuckled dryly “Why are you so calm?” This time, he chuckled. “I am also surprised. I don’t really know. Maybe it’s because I’ve met them or maybe because I was going to see you?” You frowned. “What?” He lowered his head so his forehead could touch yours. “I am confused so I tried to not let my anger get the better of me. I had a long discussion with Lord Diavolo and he explained how the whole thing works. Why I had to have a relationship with a demon from a powerful family as do all my brothers and I couldn’t do anything about it. So I swallowed my anger and decided to see you and talk to you about it.” Still it didn’t make any sense to you, you were friends but you didn’t think that what you thought about it was important. “Why would you talk about it with me. It’s pretty clear that is done and my opinion won’t change anything.” He leaned back and shook his head while closing his eyes as if he was annoyed. “You don’t get it, do you?” He stood up and left your room without another word. You started to get tired of his mood swings but you stood up and closed the door he had left open while exiting the room. You went back to your studies trying to forget about the conversation. 

You had fallen asleep on your desk when your alarm woke you up. It startled you and it took you a few seconds to understand what was going on. You laughed at yourself and grabbed your phone to stop the alarm. You noticed the notifications on your phone but didn’t think to check them as you needed to change and get ready for breakfast. You were about to leave your room when you heard a loud squeal. You stepped outside your room and looked around. You saw Asmo waving around his phone and screaming “I can’t believe it!” So you took a look at the notifications and you froze. You could barely breathe. It has been made official, during the night apparently, that Satan was dating someone from one of the oldest families in the Devildom. You were curious about what they looked like and when you looked at the picture your heart shattered. You thought everyone you had met in the Devildom were the most beautiful beings but this demon was something else. You knew, for sure, that you couldn’t compete with that. You looked at Asmodeus and he smiled at you then ran to the breakfast room. He talked about the post online while you were silent. Satan kept stealing glances at you, trying to catch your gaze but you kept your head lowered. You suffered in silence while they keep asking questions to Satan. You left the table before everyone and went outside. You sat on a bench that was near the House. You had been there for a few minutes when Satan sat next to you. “How are you feeling?” You turned your head to look at him. “I’m okay.” He was staring in front of him. “Really?” You agreed. “Yes, of course”. He looked at you, anger in his eyes. “What do you think about me dating that demon?” You looked away and started to play with your fingers. “Nothing in particular and I don’t think my opinion matters anyway.” He grabbed your hands so you would stop playing with them. “It does to me.” You took a deep breath and looked back at him. “Why?” He brought one of your hands on his cheeks then kissed your palm. You blushed at that. “You are important to me. I’ve developed feelings for you and I have the feeling that it is reciprocated. If you do and you don’t want me to date that demon then I will fight for it to happen.” Tears started to fall down on your cheeks and Satan’s hand but he didn’t seem to care. Your breath was caught in your throat and you couldn’t speak. He leaned in closer to you, staring intensely into your eyes. “Please, say something”. You sobbed uncontrollably, all your emotions you had bottled up was now overflowing and you couldn’t stop them. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close to him, kissing your hair. You had your head on his chest, tight fists clenched around his jacket. Your tears stained his sweater but you didn’t care as you were listening to his heartbeat and slowly it started to calm you down. He rocked your bodies back and forth until you calmed down. Slowly, you relaxed against the warmth of his body and the calm he was radiating. You sniffled and let out a long breath. “What would happen if you don’t date them?” He chuckled while caressing your hair. “Actually, I don’t know. I might need to speak to Lord Diavolo about that. Would that be okay with you?” You nodded silently, head still pressed on his chest. 

It was time to leave for RAD. You had gone quickly to the bathroom to splash some water and to try to make you look like you haven’t been crying. When you arrived at RAD, everyone was looking at Satan and whispering. So, everyone knew. You lowered your head and went on your day as usual. The next few were uneventful, you still spent some time with Satan but he never talked about his dates with the other demon or if he had talked to Diavolo about it. You didn’t want to ask so you wouldn’t suffer anymore than you were already. One day, you received a text message from Lord Diavolo, which surprised you as you were in class but you read it anyway.

*Come and see me after your class.*

That was it. You started to fidget on your chair anxious about what you had done. The few minutes that was left felt like an eternity. You packed up your books and headed towards Diavolo’s office. You met Satan there, he had a big smile on his face and you frowned at that, anxiety creeping up. Satan knocked on the door and you heard a muffled “come in”. You opened the door and saw Lord Diavolo standing up with a huge smile on his face. “Please come in and sit down!” Your frown was still on your face as you didn’t understand what was going on but you obeyed silently. Satan followed you, a hand on the small of your back and the smile still on his face. Once sat down, you looked at both of them waiting for one of them to talk. Diavolo also sat down. “Thank you for meeting with me. I have good news.” You turned your head to the Avatar of Wrath, he was still smiling but you still stayed silent. “Satan and I and also Lucifer managed to convinced the House of Lords that Satan doesn’t need to date a demon from a powerful family but that he should date you, the human exchange student to strengthen our bonds between the two realms. It took a lot of hours of talking and compromising but we finally managed it!” You took a few moments to understand what he was saying and your eyes widened suddenly at the realisation. You stopped breathing and looked at Satan whose smile turned into a huge grin. He looked back at you and nodded slightly as if to confirm what had just been said. Diavolo chuckled “You don’t have anything to say?” You stared at him, still silent. You let out the breath that you were holding in and started to shake slightly. You blinked a few times “I.. I don’t know what to say?” Diavolo let a loud laugh out and you heard Satan chuckled next to you. The latter took your hand in his. “Do you realise what it means?” You looked at your hands intertwined and nodded, eyes shining with unshed tears. You stood up and left the room without saying anything. You were So not ready to hear that, you didn’t know how to react. You could hear footsteps following you but your thoughts were overwhelming you that you didn’t care. There was still a lot of people around when you arrived at the front of RAD and that’s when you realised. You could date him, it was allowed, it was expected and the more important you would not suffer any consequences and you stopped suddenly. Someone bumped into you and you turned around, hoping that it was Satan. The Avatar took a step back, confused by your sudden stop. You looked at him, a smile spreading slowly upon your face. He smiled back at you and you took a step closer then, finally, you threw your arms around his neck, jumped on him as he caught you with his hands under your thighs. He let you kiss him as you slowly approached your lips to his. When your lips touched, you could hear gasps and whoops coming from all over you but they soon faded away when Satan deepened the kiss by moving one arm under your thighs and one hand on your neck. 

================================================

THE END

A/N: @venture-venus I hope you'll like it thank you for asking for part 2!

[oftenwantedafton]

the wraith | dave miller x female reader

rating | explicit

part 5/?

words | 5.3k

cw | sexual content

ao3 link

There are voices outside of your bedroom window.

You’ve slept later than you’d intended, forcing you to make a mad dash to get ready. If you’d been hasty the previous day, you’re downright lightning fast this morning. You’ve just finished washing and dressing when you notice the conversation drifting into the room belongs to a male and female, both owners recognizable.

“I’m waiting. On a public road. Perfectly legal.”

“Too close for my liking. You wouldn’t like it if I sat on your doorstep, either.”

“I’m not on your doorstep.”

Poor Dave. He’s come to fetch you for your outing to the home improvement store and run into your landlord in the process. The banter is almost comical, until it isn’t.

“You know what you’re doing to that girl is wrong.”

“I haven’t done anything.”

You freeze, breath held, straining to listen more closely. You know you shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but the curiosity is overwhelming.

“Just like you didn’t do anything to those children, right William? I know who you really are. You might have other people fooled with this new look and a fake name, but not me.”

“My name isn’t William. That’s not who I am.” You can pinpoint the exact moment when your lover’s calm demeanor shifts, transforming from placid and casual to tightly controlled anger, each word bitten off harshly.

Deciding you might need to intervene before things get any uglier, you grab your keys and wallet and exit the apartment, pulling the locked door closed behind you. Dave’s standing outside of his car parked along the curb, once again wearing clothing that conceals his scars. He towers in comparison to the older woman standing in her floral print blouse and polyester slacks, fists planted on her hips. It’s like a kitten trying to threaten a bulldog, and you’re not even sure which is which.

“Good morning everyone. Sorry I’m late. Overslept. We can go now.” You try to make light of the situation, closing the distance between you and the bristling older man. You rest a hand on his sleeve, feeling how taut the muscles are beneath that covering. “Dave,” you say, somewhat under your breath, and the man finally makes eye contact with you. The tightly clenched jaw relaxes, and you feel his upper extremity loosen and soften.

“Let’s go.” With a final glare at his neighbor, the security guard slides back behind the wheel and you join him inside the car, darting another glance at your landlord. The woman harrumphs loudly before returning inside the house.

“What was that all about?”

“Nothing. I told you she’s convinced I’m this other guy.” There’s still a dark edge to his tone, so different from the one he’d adopted the previous day. Once the car is halted at the first stop sign he leans across to drag open the glove compartment, reaching inside to collect a couple of items before slamming it shut. He glances in the rearview mirror to make sure no other vehicles are waiting, then turns his attention to what he’s retrieved: a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He sees you staring as he withdraws one, slotting it between his lips and lighting the end. “Sorry,” he mumbles, directing the stream of smoke out the driver’s side window.

“You okay?” The lighter and pack are dropped unceremoniously into the center console.

He takes another drag, squinting against the sun that’s blasting across the hood and through the windshield, his free hand hastily flipping down the sun visor. “Yeah, I’m fine. Now you know why I don’t like going over there. She spoils everything.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“I was late. That’s why you ran into her.”

Dave grunts, the end of the cigarette flaring to life again. “Not a big deal.”

Except it is, you think. You’ve never seen the older man upset like this. He looks shaken. You trail a hand down his arm and his eyes meet yours. He leans towards you and kisses you, the touch feeling almost tentative, unsure. It still ignites you, your lips pressing more firmly, fingers curling around his neck, teasing the hair that’s dark chocolate in the sunlight. You taste ash and chemicals laid over mint toothpaste. His breathing is unsteady when he draws back, the hand that’s holding the cigarette resting on the steering wheel tremoring slightly.

“Let’s go,” he says again, facing the road once more.

***

There’s still tension in the fingers threaded through yours once you reach your destination.

You can tell he’s trying to mask it, offering you smiles, tugging the fingers free to wrap possessively around your waist, to stroke the back of your neck and spine and even tuck into the rear pocket of your jeans, offering a light squeeze. Displays of public affection that you would be savoring, if you weren’t still a little concerned by how troubled the man standing beside you evaluating pots of vegetables is.

The trunk of Dave’s car is loaded with green sprouts and tomato cages, plant food and a new garden hose and spray nozzle and some hand tools. There’s a quick stop on the return trip at a gas station to refill the tank and pick up a case of beer. Conversation has been minimal, still feeling a bit strained and wary.

You hadn’t expected the older man to be aiding you with this project as much as he is, helping you get the beds of soil cleared of weeds. You nearly tell him he doesn’t have to, but then hold your tongue. It’s keeping you both busy, distracted, and that’s probably a good thing right now.

It’s around noon by the time everything is planted and you begin watering with the new setup Dave’s hooked up. Not the ideal time of day for this task, but it has to be done. The potting soil the young plants had been seated in had been dry to begin with, the leaves looking a little wilted. Other specimens were rootbound. They all needed rescuing. You think they’ll perk up soon, once they get acclimated to their new environment.

Dave’s standing beside you, surveying the work you’ve accomplished together. You playfully divert the path of water towards the older man and he yelps in protest, lunging towards you to tug the offensive sprayer free from your hands. You let it drop and his arms come around you.

“Hey,” he says softly.

“Hi.”

“We’re okay, right?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Because you’ve been off all morning. Brooding.”

“No, that’s you.” You seat a hand along his jaw and cheek, thumb trying to tug on the corner of his mouth to shift it until he surrenders, smiling. “I was worried about you, after this morning. You just seemed so upset.”

Dave grunts and sighs, tipping his head back before letting it drop back down. “I knew that bi—that delightful older woman,” he corrects himself, seeing your expression, “was going to ruin things. It’s not pleasant being called a liar. Being accused of doing things you haven’t. Having your very identity questioned.”

“But you know she’s mistaken. You shouldn’t let her get to you.”

Another sigh. “You’re right. I shouldn’t. Maybe I was just feeling grouchy because I missed you and I was impatient to see you again.”

“Well, I’m here now.”

“Yes, you are.” His mouth dips to yours. No hesitation this time. “Want to go inside and get cleaned up? Maybe have a few cold beers and take a bath?”

“Now that sounds like a wonderful idea.”

“Good.” Another kiss, then he glances at the restored garden. “It looks good, doesn’t it?”

You follow his gaze. “Yes, it does. We did a good job.”

“Happy?”

You turn back to face Dave. “I’m very happy with you.”

The crooked grin finally returns.

***

Dave settles into the bathtub after checking the water temperature a final time and shutting off the faucets.

You follow behind, soft curves tucked between long limbs, back resting against his chest. It’s not really sized for two adults, but he’s making it work, folding an arm around your shoulders and pressing his lips against your hair. Still warm from the sun and perfumed from your shampoo. He reaches for the pair of open beer bottles resting on the floor tucked just outside the tub and hands you one before taking a sip from his own. After all of that sun and heat and dirt and sweat outdoors he’s grateful to be back inside, the water already bringing his temperature down. The alcohol will counteract that effect, of course, but it’s worth it in the end. The best Sunday he’s had in he doesn’t know how long. It might’ve been perfect, if not for that damned woman this morning, with her accusations. Saying that name.

Your fingers trail lazily across his forearm and reach behind you blindly, grazing his cheek. “You still feel hot,” you murmur. “I hope you don’t get a sunburn.”

“That is an additional benefit to keeping covered, I suppose.” He takes another languid pull from the bottle, watching as you push your feet against his. So tiny in comparison. Nails painted a pale pink shade that nearly matches his scars.

“Need to get some sunscreen.”

“I’ll get right on that.”

You nudge his ribs, shifting your elbow back slightly.

“Ow,” he protests. “What was that for?”

“The snark.” You dip your hand in the water and let it trail over his arm, flattening the fine dark hairs lining it. “That’s what you said about the paper towels, too.”

“Shit. I knew I was forgetting something.”

“We should go shopping together.”

“You think so?” His arm shifts, hand curling beneath your jaw and lifting slightly. He brushes his mouth against yours as best he can at this angle. He’s become so accustomed to hiding in this house, in the restaurant. You’ve no idea the agoraphobia that has begun to grip him, the fear of being out in public for a prolonged period of time. But today he’d very nearly enjoyed it. Being with you. Touching you. Showing you off. Flaunting how well he’s concealed who he really is. So many people, such a crowded space, and they had no idea that those hands streaked with soil from handling the plants had been stained with something very different, very sinister, just a few days ago.

He finishes the last of the liquid in the bottle he holds and collects another, cracking off the cap and letting it drop to the floor. You haven’t tidied in here yet, but you will, and he has no doubt you’ll restore it as well as the other rooms you’ve worked on. He doesn’t really need you to; you’ll come to him without the added excuse, now. But maybe he likes it. Or maybe it’s just the reminder of your presence he enjoys.

“What room should I work on next?”

Dave hums, pressing another kiss into your hair. “I was just thinking that very thing. Let’s try a room up here for a change. The dining room is really never going to see use, that can wait.”

“What about your bedroom?”

“What about my bedroom?” You sound innocent when you ask the question; his is full of innuendo and suggestion. You shift against him, emitting a breathy little giggle that he finds endearing. Erotic. This entire venture has been a measure of self restraint. He wants you every time he sees you. He wants to take you everywhere he can, make every space become a memorial. He can’t make a cup of coffee in his kitchen without seeing you perched on the edge of the counter, full of his cock. It presses against your back now, insistent, impatient.

“Maybe we should work in there next.” His hand dives to one thigh, wedging between that limb and its partner, and you gasp at the unexpected intrusion. He slides his middle finger delicately over your button and through the midline of your sex, and your body reflexively responds, the water sloshing around in the tub as your hips lift to aid his probing finger.

“Is that what you want?” He breathes by your ear, licking and nipping along the curve, teeth clutching and tugging the lobe gently. He’s rewarded with a shudder, with your body grinding back against his.

“Dave…” Your face turns, mouth searching for his. The beer is abandoned, bottles hastily set down in some likely precarious position beside the tub, before your hands cup his face and siphon through his hair. That look on your face, that naked want, that near worship, grips something in his chest and wrenches it.

It seems to take forever to dry off, the sound of the water whooshing through the unplugged drain accompanying each drag of terrycloth against skin, pausing to plant kisses here and there. He means to push you down beneath him once you reach the master bedroom, but you surprise him when you take the lead, climbing over his body, your mouth leaving a damp trail of affection that travels from his lips to collarbones, to his nipples and the slats of his ribs and the crests of both hips. He knows what’s coming, but it still doesn’t quite prepare him. This is something his wife had never seemed to enjoy, a rare occassion, grudgingly offered, but you show no such hesitation, tongue stroking up the underside of his erection before your mouth engulfs the head, fat and pink and leaking between your lips, your eyes on his.

He shoves another pillow underneath his head so he can watch you better, because that is part of the experience; not just the feel of your mouth adoring his cock, which is in and of itself a wonder; but the sheer lust and enjoyment that makes your eyes hot and hazy. Your cheeks are pink, flushed from sun or booze or arousal, perhaps a conbination of all three. He loves feeling the suction as your cheeks hollow, tongue dragging heavily against the frenulum, then digging into the slitted opening.

“Fuck…” It’s not eloquent, but it gets the message across, surely. He sees you smile around the crown of his length, and fuck if that isn’t even sexier, the back of his head digging into the pile of pillows when you suddenly slide down, letting him bump against the back of your throat.

You’re brave, and it’s testing your gag reflex. He can feel the protest there; hear it in that squelching sound as your body reacts to this intrusion, the back carpet of your tongue lifting, throat pushing back to expel his member, but you don’t surrender, letting him collide a few more times before you lift for a brief respite, leaving his cock slick with thick saliva. You pump him with a few firm strokes, even spitting and adding more of a mess, your fingers rolling over the head, clenching tight around the base and relaxing, growing looser on top. Dave swallows hard, feeling that wad of spit shoved down his straining neck, Adam’s apple bobbing, the tendons stretching taut along the column of his throat.

This process repeats several times, interspersed with kisses along his thighs, back to the creases of his groins, teasing scrotum with soft suckling. Over and over. Until you finally crawl back up towards his face, thrusting your tongue into his mouth as you straddle his hips. Your hand snakes between your bodies and positions his drooling cock at your entrance, your mouth parting again as you lean your weight back, sinking down onto his phallus.

You whimper at the sensation—there’s no better way to describe that sound—and the older man echoes one not so different. Your hands splay across his ribcage as you lift up and then grind back down again. The warm tightness of your pussy is snug around him, clutching him in greeting. Gradually forced to expand, drawing him in deeper. His hands have found their way to your bouncing tits, teasing your nipples and caressing the soft globes as you ride him. You cover those fingers with your own, adding to that blissful touch before you lean down to rejoin your mouths.

Dave lifts his hips up to meet you, and it somehow makes him go even deeper, even though he’s already been buried to the hilt. Or maybe it’s this new angle, slamming into that hungry, wet tunnel just right. He’s been teetering on the edge for awhile now, forcing himself to wait, drawing this pleasure out. He rests a hand near your mound, letting his fingers bump and slide against your clit each time you move. You gasp into his mouth, making a needy sound that now accompanies your panted breaths.

“Dave,” you whisper, lips hovering just above his own. “I’m…”

“I know. I know, love.” The word slips out before he can stop it. He’s forgotten, in the heat of the moment. That fake American accent he’s adopted for so long blurred beneath the British one that is truly his, strong and full of his heritage. You shudder, keening, spasming around him, and it catapults him unexpectedly over the brink, his release spitting inside of your hollow in several rapid bursts.

You rest your face somewhere near his shoulder, partly on him, partly on the pillow, dragging air into your lungs. Residual twitches milk the last of his load and then it becomes quite the opposite sensation, overly sensitive and almost tender, raw feeling. You move and drop beside him, planting a lazy kiss along his jaw before using one shallow rise of pectoral muscle as a cushion for your head.

“You good?”

“Very,” you hum, your finger stroking the scars nearest in reach. “What was that accent there at the end?”

“I don’t know. Just trying it out.” His breathing is shallow, tight. He’s anxious about how you’ll respond to this false declaration.

“It’s sexy as all fuck. Feel free to do more of that whenever you want.”

He has to concentrate to allow it to flow naturally again. Funny how the reverse had once been true. “You truly favor it?”

“Ugh, fuck, yes. It sounds so genuine. What other things have you been hiding?”

He knows you mean it playfully, but it sets off warning bells in his mind. “Not much. Just can’t reveal everything all at once. Wouldn’t want you to get sick of me if I dazzled you too much straight away.”

“Dazzled, hmm?” You smash your lips along his sternum and then shift, now letting your head be properly cushioned beside his own, staring into his eyes. “I’ll never get sick of you.”

“You might still. It’s early yet.”

“No,” you deny. “No, I don’t see that happening. I’m too obsessed.” You begin to rifle with his hair.

“Time for a trim, I expect.”

“No. No, keep it like this. I like it. Except for that stubborn cowlick at the back,” you tease, pressing against the lifted area several times before surrendering.

“Tell me about it. Bloody menace.”

“Careful. That accent really does it for me.” You pause. “The other day you asked me if we were friends. We are now, don’t you think? I don’t just mean because of the intimacy. I mean…we really are friends.”

“Yes, we really are.”

“I’m glad. I’m glad I moved here and met you, Dave Miller.”

“Me too.” He pulls you into his arms, his eyes falling on that familiar mark of spackled plaster on the ceiling he so often studies before falling asleep.

***

You decide to surprise your neighbor with a visit mid week.

You’ve packed him a snack, the Tupperware containers occupying the vacant passenger seat, along with the scrap of paper with Dave’s scrawled directions to the pizzeria.

It’s almost one am. You’d only done a four hour shift that evening, and you’d taken a nap earlier, thinking it would help you stay awake a little easier. You’re beginning to understand exactly why Dave’s eyes are so smudged all of the time. This schedule was brutal. Sleep cycles all over the place. Awake during the night, asleep during the day. Vice versa on the weekends. You’re feeling it already and you’ve only just begun to vary your schedule to accommodate the older man.

You think, perhaps, you might have taken a wrong turn somewhere, until you see the lights in the distance.

At the far end of an abandoned strip mall, the restaurant sits, the sign bearing the establishment’s logo and featuring the main mascot glowing like a lighthouse beacon.

You do not like the look of the place one bit.

Still, it doesn’t stop you from parking, wondering where the security guard’s car might be as you pull into one of the angled spots, the white painted guidelines now faded beneath the beam of the streetlamps overhead. You gather the reusable food containers and exit the car, shoving your car keys into your jeans pocket before you walk slowly towards the main entrance. You can hear the lightbulbs humming like insects as you draw closer to the paired glass front doors. Several of them are out, and it looks like several have been shattered completely. Weeds cover the asphalt and the building itself. It looks delapitated, disheveled, eerie. There’s a ring of grime around the door buzzer. You press it hastily, wiping your palm against your jeans. You can barely see anything inside. There’s some neon lighting on the far wall, some shapes that might be tables and chairs, but that’s only a guess.

You’re just about to press the button again when you hear a voice behind you.

“Well what do we have here?”

You jump, nearly dropping the containers as you whirl around to face the speaker. It’s Dave.

“Oh, you scared me half to death. Jerk,” you add, embrassed that he’d frightened you so easily. “I brought you a snack.”

“Several, it seems.” His eyes openly admire your figure.

“How’d you know I was here?”

“Cameras.” He points and your eyes follow the direction he indicates. You see the box now, the red power indicating light that glowers against the surrounding gloom.

“Where’s you car?”

“Employees use the rear lot.”

“Oh.” There was probably an opportunity for a dirty joke there, but you’re not exactly sure how to phrase it. “Am I okay where I’m parked?” You can’t see how it can honestly matter, given that the building is closed.

“Quite.” He hasn’t stopped using the British accent since he’d first offered a sample of it during your lovemaking. It sounds all too fluid, sleek, right somehow, coming from those lips. “Well, this is certainly a surprise. A very pleasant one.” He grins. “Want to come inside for the grand tour?”

“Um, yeah, sure.”

In truth, you’re not really all that excited to see the interior. It’s the guard leading you indoors that you’d really wanted to see. But you know he wants you to experience this place. You can’t say for certain why. It still creeps you out. You’re thinking of your landlord’s warning. Children gone missing. Never found. The criminal responsible never apprehended.

“Let me get more lights going for you. Wait here.”

You nod, watching the tall man disappear into the shadows ahead.

Suddenly the room brightens and you can properly see that your earlier guess had been correct. You’re standing on the threshold of a dining room. Most of the rear wall is lined with a curtained stage. An arcade section occupies the adjacent room. Past the restrooms you see a pair of doors that no doubt lead to other areas meant exclusively for employees.

“Come on over,” Dave invites from his position in front of the stage.

You step forward reluctantly. The air is stagnant, stale. You can almost taste it, finding it acrid, sour. You clutch the containers to your chest like a shield and follow your companion up the cramped set of stairs tucked along one side of the raised platform, ducking into the open space you’re provided once Dave tugs on the pulley system that draws aside the heavy curtains.

You nearly jump again when you see the animatronics up close and personal. They’re larger than you’d imagined. A trio of them, each holding a different object: an electric guitar for the rabbit, a microphone for the bear in the middle, and the chicken on the far end carries a plate bearing a cupcake with large eyes and a pair of square fangs.

You don’t like the look of any of the mascots’ teeth, those permanent, menacing grins feeling more threatening than friendly. Only a child’s imagination could make these unattractive animals seems inviting.

“What do you think?”

“Yeah, they’re um…bigger than I expected.” Another missed opportunity for a dirty joke. Maybe you’re not witty enough, or maybe you’re just not feeling particularly humorous in this creepy setting. “Where’s your office?”

Dave looks the slightest bit crestfallen, perhaps even mildly perturbed, that you’re not more interested in the animatronics clustered before you, but he aquiesces, guiding you though the area you’d correctly identified as restricted to employers earlier, leading you further into the depths of the pizzeria.

“So, this is it.” He leans against the doorframe, gesturing for you to peek inside the room. It’s not very large. Most of the space is occupied by a massive desk stacked with monitors, their controls dominating the worn, pitted surface. There’s an accompanying office chair, a filing cabinet, a spare hardbacked chair, a couple of steel lockers that take you right back to highschool, a hook for a jacket, and a time clock that doesn’t look operational. You can’t really conjure much of anything to say about the environment, other than the sensation that this is not a place you yourself could ever work in. It’s far too cramped and cluttered. You can’t imagine how Dave can stand it, five nights a week, for forty hours.

“Want to have a go in the arcade for a bit?” There is the sound of coins jingling in the security guard’s pocket, his fingers stirring the contents. You nod, setting the snack down on the desk for the older man to enjoy later.

The arcade changes your opinion of the establishment somewhat.

You feel yourself relaxing as you take turns with some of the games, able to play several cooperatively. He clearly practices, those deft fingers agile over the controls. You wonder if the owner know his guard doesn’t always plant himself in front of the monitors.

When you finally get tired of having your ass handed to you—seriously, he’s that good, or you’re that terrible—he suggests you sit in his car with him for a few minutes.

“What about watching the monitors?”

“I’m entitled to take a break. It’s required by law.”

“You’ve kinda been doing that already,” you murmur, watching the skee ball rack fill up once again before you’re led back to the main entrance.

Dave shrugs, seemingly unconcerned. He leaves you by the front doors while he shuts the additional power supply down again, dousing the building in darkness once more.

Inside his sedan, the key is turned to the accessory position and Dave reaches around to the back seat, setting a carrying case full of cassette tapes on your lap. “Pick one.”

“Um, let’s see. How about this one?” You withdraw The Smiths - Hatful of Hollow and the man behind the wheel grins, apparently pleased with your selection. He shoves it into the player, turning the dial so the volume isn’t overly loud as the end of one song just finishes, then that arm is stretched and draped over your shoulders, the other resting on the frame of the rolled down window.

You’re nervous, and you can’t explain why.

Maybe it’s the idea that Dave might still get in trouble for this dereliction of his duties, and it’s your fault for distracting him. Maybe it’s just where you are, in this eerily abandoned, overgrown back lot that’s even more neglected than the front. Parked outside the site where children had gone missing.

From the cassette player, Morrissey’s voice begins to lament:

I am the son

And the heir

Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar

I am the son and heir

Of nothing in particular

“You’re quiet,” Dave observes.

You smile weakly, fingers knotting together restlessly. Your palms are damp. The scent of the restaurant is still trapped in your nostrils. “Just not used to being up at this hour, I think. But I wanted to see you.” You try another smile, hoping this one looks more natural.

“I appreciate you visiting.”

The chorus repeats as the arm around your shoulders lifts, his hand settling warm and heavy on one denim clad knee.

You shut your mouth

How can you say

I go about things the wrong way?

I am human and I need to be loved

Just like everybody else does

That whiney throb of guitar like a heartbeat accompanies the slow drag of Dave’s palm up your leg, the vintage vinyl creaking as he leans towards you, tongue parting your lips. He’s been at the cigarettes again. It seems the gum isn’t enough of a substitute after all. Weak willpower. Or maybe he just likes it. Likes that sooty flavor on his tongue, pushing it against yours. You wonder if he’ll ever shotgun some of that smoke into your mouth; trap it and exhale and let your lungs fill with what’s been inside his own chest.

He’s been inside you, reaching, filling, you’re aching for it even now, forgetting the discomfort, lost in the familiar melody from decades past and the warm interior of the old luxury sedan and that musty smell that clings to the other man. You’ve never noticed it until now, but it’s strong, the taint of that evil building behind him overpowering aftershave and cologne, suffused in the threads of the work shirt you desperately clutch, even in your own pants he’s popped open so he can feel you, wet and thirsty. It’s still not enough to drive you away. You need it, you need him…

The song ends and it seems as if the spell that’s overtaken you has been lifted. The hand vacates the interior of your panties, leaving you empty, unsatisfied. His damp fingers disappear inside of his mouth, eyes rolling back, and that, right there, makes your cunt throb anew, a desperate surge for what it wants, so frustratingly close. You can touch yourself, get off, but it’s not the same. It can never be.

“I have to get back inside.” That careless bravado from earlier seems to have evaporated. You catch the flare of nostrils, the little shove to adjust what’s obviously become a growing problem below his waist.

“Okay.” You refasten your own clothing, trying to mask your disappointment.

He turns the car off. “After work. Can you…”

“I’ll be there.” You have to work in the morning. It won’t give you much time. But it’s better than nothing. Dave exits the car and walks you back to yours.

“I want you,” he says, one hand placed on the doorframe of your own vehicle, preventing you from opening it. “You know that, right? You understand it’s just the timing. I am at work. I can’t…”

”Yeah. I know. It’s okay.” You tug on his tie. “Go watch the monitors.”

”I’m glad you came to see me.” He releases his grip on the door, bending to steal another kiss. One evolves into another. Your tongues are dancing again. “Get out of here you temptress,” he breathes, but that charming, chipped grin belies his stern tone.

You slide behind the wheel, offering a final wave before starting the engine. The security guard returns indoors and you leave the parking lot with a relieved sigh, giving the restaurant one last glance in the rear view mirror.

You have no intentions of ever returning.

[deeranon]

Aquaphobia ~ A Furina Story

Chapter: Special

Warning: badly written angst and identity issues, that’s really it

@idkfitememate hope you’re ready because I think I flopped halfway through—don’t know how proud I am of it but at least it’s out? I’m proud about getting it out at least!

Hope you like it, at least :)

___

Furina loved the people of Fontaine deeper than any ocean on Teyvat. But she could not say the same for herself. Five hundred years of acting was bound to corrode the girl that Furina once was into little pieces eventually.

And so, Furina sat in her dull bed like a doll left to its thoughts while the owner was away.

Because that was truly what she was when you looked at it, wasn’t it? A doll in a body that was never supposed to be her own. Sure, people said she was human. But they didn’t know what Furina knew.

Her body wasn’t her own.

It never was. And probably never will be.

A trail of shattered mirror shards led from the bathroom and onto the stone tiled floor, but Furina didn’t bother to pick up the pieces. White hair with natural blue streaks that faded to an ever-present dim glow was scattered on the cold bathroom floor.

Furina bled from hands that did not feel like her own. Furina never had a reason to take the gloves off for the first few years of her act, but ever since the day curiosity overtook her, she wished the gloves could have been glued to them like there was nothing underneath.

The hands were like the hair that Furina had cut off.

Fading to two different hues of blue, the left one a blue so dark it was reminiscent of the midnight zone in the ocean, while the right faded to a soft icy blue like the sky and clouds had blended together. Thick and thin streaks a shade lighter than the blue of each hand reminded Furina of rock patterns swirled around the fingers,giving the hands an already unnatural glow that seemed to hide just under the skin where the patterns lay.

Furina wished she could cut off the hands just as she did the hair. As if in retaliation for Furina not being the true owner of the body, the wounds on the hands stung like millions of small needles set on fire. But Furina did not bother bandaging the injuries obtained from breaking the mirror. She simply sat on the bed in the new apartment and stared at the waning moon.

Because what else was there to do? Go outside when the sun rises and act as if everything is okay and totally normal? Ha. What a joke. She was sure to be a living embarrassment. If Furina could even call this life. There would be pointed fingers and eyes and she would become a laughingstock. And absolutely no one would or will take her seriously again after what happened at her trial. So what was the point?

Furina slumped into cushy pillows and blankets that made her sick as she remembered the knave’s words. Standing idle. Doing nothing. Failed.

Furina had been furious at the younger woman for her behavior, and had almost completely lost her mask in front of the Traveler and Paimon, who Furina wished to never see again.

Now, Furina just felt blank thinking back on it.

What was the use of getting angry? That wasn’t even her Arlecchino was talking to. It was her masked act, focalors.

If Furina was so insistent about being free from her act, how come she couldn’t seem to let it go?

Was this what other humans called a hypocrite?

Maybe it was because she didn’t truly feel like…whoever she was supposed to be if she wasn’t acting as focalors.

The little girl living her first day of life, innocent and kind, had been oblivious of the pain to come. Maybe that was the true Furina. Who she was. Not “focalors” or the god of justice. Her.

But deep in Furina’s unowned heart, she knew that little girl had been killed by her own hands just to sell the part of god of justice. The girl, wide eyed and curious about life, now laid dead. Torn to shreds by the demands of humanity and the expectations of the true Focalors.

But Furina knew she had been the one to choke the girl to her end.

It was all for Fontaine. Furina thought as she stood over the girl’s body. Yet she did not realize how the body that held her lacking human mind cried without her knowing once again.

But the act is over now, and there is nothing left of you. You are unneeded. You have completed what you were solely made for. Now what? Furina’s mind echoed in the silence. Her brain could not give her an answer. It was simply too tired to think straight.

Five hundred years of meticulously planning every step, every smile, every reaction, every answer, wore her mind down until it turned numb to the needs of true emotion. The only emotions that remained above the tides were fear and exhaustion.

All Furina wanted to do was rest, yet she had always been terrified of the thought of letting her mind sink beneath the waves for so long. At some point in her act, Furina had dubbed sleep overrated and used the cold nights to plan the months and years ahead as she struggled to stop the ever-present prophecy. A prophecy she was told to prevent by the reflection in the mirror, when the reflection knew it couldn’t be prevented at all. The reflection that had lied.

Now, Furina wanted to sleep without fear on the second day of her life. But her mind still raced with unwanted thoughts of terror. And probably from the pain of wounded hands.

Furina knew she was going to have to get rid of the now bloody sheets in the morning, so Furina might as well get it over with now, right?

She stood on shaky ombré blue feet and yanked the thin bedsheets stained with blood off of the mattress, scattering pillows and crumpled piles of blankets everywhere. The wounds screamed in protest as she carried the sheets without even a single wince as the cloth rubbed against open skin.

Furina walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, feet already numb from the chilly tiled floor. She headed straight for the sink and dropped the crumbled ball of bedsheets into the basin before reaching for one of the faucet handles, only to pause the moment before skin touched metal.

The sound of rushing water filled her mind, and she stepped away from the sink with a sharp intake of breath.

Furina gagged as bile rose in her borrowed throat and rushed to the bathroom, uncaring for the glass shards digging into the soles of dark and light blue feet but fully aware of the sound of cracking glass. The sound echoed in her mind, reminding her of that day like a movie film stuck on repeat.

Whatever little food Furina had consumed the day before emptied itself into the toilet as Furina hunched over with tear blurred vision. Soft white hair brushed against a leg and only made Furina gag harder as she tried to control the sobbing. She wretched into the toilet once more. The sound of crunching glass only made her cry harder.

No.

No.

No.

Not again.

Furina’s mind screamed as its thoughts looped over and over again. Stuck in a never ending cycle.

Water.

Flood.

Prophecy.

Fake.

Water.

Flood.

Prophecy.

Fake.

Fake.

Fake.

Furina closed off her sense of vision in a desperate attempt to calm down while she quaked. Body trembling like a flower in the middle of a windstorm. Furina knew she was supposed to do something to calm down somehow. But what was she supposed to do again? Furina couldn’t remember. Just like she couldn’t remember anything from before her single magical meeting in this world. Why was she so forgetful? Why can’t she remember?

Shaky hands released the rim of the bile filled toilet to clamp around arms that were trembling just as much as the hands. Like all those years ago.

Everything was so cold.

Where was the warmth? It’s so cold here…

So cold…Furina was cold. The body she inhabited gave no warmth, it was like the iciest depths of the ocean personified. Furina hated it. Furina hated this body. It was so cold, why did it have to be cold? Why?

Why couldn’t it feel warm? Like a normal human that everyone claimed she was? Even when Furina knew she was anything but.

All Furina wished for now was for something in this world to protect her from the eternal cold, even for a single minute. Was that so wrong?

Yes, a shard of her mask whispered. Because you are the one who gives up your warmth for others no matter the cost.

Furina wished for something to share its warmth with her, for something to ward off the empty feeling where a heart was supposed to be. But in the end she knew this was all wishful thinking.

Limp hands brushed against jagged shards, but Furina did not wince. For she could not feel. Her borrowed body was wholly and completely cold. Fingers subconsciously reached out and gripped a shard of mirror, testing if she could feel as already open wounds deepened enough to scar. But there was no reaction.

Furina felt numb.

The glass started to crack as the grip on it tightened.

Furina felt cold.

New trails of blood seeped from a dark blue hand littered with wounds.

Furina felt willing to accept that she had no protector to shield her from the cold, from her fears, and from herself.

The shard dug into a midnight stained hand slicked with blood. But the longer the mind ignored the pain the harsher the grip on the dagger-like piece of mirror became.

The hand held on tighter.

And tighter.

And tighter.

And then, there was nothing.

Furina felt something wrap around the left wrist that was now covered in blood and reopened her vision to find out what it was. Because it felt warm.

Furina almost didn’t know what she was staring at. It looked like a boy, but at the same time it wasn’t a boy at all.

It looked like a boy made of some kind of water; soft pink and gentle purple and blue liquids sloshed together with glitter floating in the water in clusters like stars at night, making it nearly opaque but not quite.

The thing cradled the shard-embedded hand like it was made of glass, tilting its faceless head down to somehow stare sadly at the wounded appendage. It rubbed gentle circles into the dark blue skin before looking up at Furina and staring into heterochromatic eyes.

Furina stared back, noticing how its uneven bluish-pink water hair fell over its face while the rest was pulled into a long shoulder ponytail that shimmered with a dark blue bow also made from glittery water.

But none of that really mattered to Furina, because she wanted to know who it was and why it was here. Did it want something from her?

“Who are you?” Furina whispered hoarsely. There was no verbal reply.

The thing simply leaned forward and wrapped its arms around shaky shoulders in a hug filled with such tenderness Furina completely froze. She did not pull away and scream, nor did she push the water-creature back and run for the front door to escape from the supposed intruder. She just sat there, frozen as the thing carded its watery but somehow firm fingers through short white hair.

Because this was the first time Furina had ever been given a hug. And she didn’t know how to react or what to do.

Furina felt safe in the entity’s embrace, she felt warm. Like sunlight was streaming through a window and straight into Furina’s soul.

Furina felt protected, for the very first time in her life.

And so, Furina unknowingly started to cry. Not from sadness, but for joy.

Bloodied hands moved on their own and gripped at the entity’s shoulders as tears streamed down to the even bloodier ground. The thing didn’t seem to mind and only held Furina tighter, rubbing circles into shaking shoulders with one hand while the other continued to card through messily cut white hair. The thing couldn’t speak verbally in common tongue, or really it couldn’t speak verbally at all, but Furina could feel as it shushed and consoled her in a language all its own.

And in that moment, Furina thought of a name:

Jamarie.

The prince that protects others with the soul of a warrior.

Yes, that name fits it well. Furina thought as the world grew blurry and she welcomed sleep with ease while being cradled in Jamarie’s warm arms.

And for the first time in more than five hundred years, Furina dreamed peacefully.

[nobody-for-sure]

Language Barrier

If you didn’t pay attention to the interludes, they’re going to start tying in now. Also, if you have yet to read the story’s important notes (I don’t know why you wouldn’t have, since I’ve already asked on a previous chapter as well as the masterlist), it’s never too late to correct a mistake. It’s been semi-updated recently as well, so another quick reread/skim is never a bad idea.

Chapter 14

(~3.2k words, see chapter list here)

You didn't expect this.

Maybe you should have. But by all accounts, your life has always been... pretty average. Things happened. People came and went. You were there, but not really. Sometimes, you seemed to be an outside observer of your own life, just watching things happen with no control over them. Sometimes, nothing felt right. You were the sort of person who wouldn't mind getting isekai'd, because you didn't have a ton of attachments to your world... at least, that's what you always told yourself.

So then why are you crying?

You lift a hand to your tear-stained cheek as your companions snooze away nearby. The sky is getting lighter, but the sun has not yet broken over the horizon as you rise from your borrowed sleeping bag and take a few steps away from the camp. You take a seat on the riverbank, watching the water lap gently against the shore.

There's no 'if's, 'and's, or 'but's about it: you're homesick.

You had a dream again. Like before, you can't remember all of it, but you cling to fragments, trying to piece them together.

You were back home again... though the word 'home' feels funny on your tongue, as if it's not quite right. You remember a bunch of people: friends and loved ones of yours. You can't recall if they were gathered for a specific event or purpose, or if they were just all there by coincidence because that's how dreams work. Nor can you recollect what anyone said to you, which leaves you the most ill at ease, because you have a feeling it was something important.

Even Autumn was there. You don't know what Autumn looks like in real life, but your dream had assigned them a random figure, and you knew instinctively who they were. Who else could it be? They gave you a sad smile from across the room as the others were talking, and it haunts you. Why are you sad, my friend? Why am I?

Answers. Liyue will have answers. It has to.

Your first encounter with slimes happens around mid-morning. You haven't quite reached the Stone Gate outpost when you pass a rich vein of Cor Lapis, and out pop several small geo slimes.

They're cute, just as you expected. Not quite as cute as the official art made them out to be, but very small and squishy. Very... squeezable.

You want to hug one.

Luck must be on your side, because the slimes start bouncing directly toward you. Your companions ready their weapons, and Noelle moves to shield you. She succeeds in blocking most of them, but one of them slips past her and bumps against your leg.

"Ouch!" It wasn't a hard bump by any means, but even without the thick armor of a larger geo slime, the little rock-horns on its head are sharp enough to scrape your leg. The slime seems a little surprised as well, and nudges against your leg more gently. Aw... that's kind of sweet.

"Xaue kigxm, kxg aue egqu?!" Amber exclaims frantically.

You imagine she's concerned for your welfare, so you wave your hand dismissively. A little scratch is far from what it takes to do you in; but your companions are here to take their escort mission seriously. Fischl twirls her bow with dramatic flair and gestures to Oz. "Ujrgbfu, rxalta enz ymtoc jtg kmtarv kyknz yjtkol uzto rgtxkzk yyktqxgj!"

"Es ymtoc kxg ejgkxrg jkrxalta, toks tokragxl," he responds, swooping up next to Noelle as the outrider and the princess take aim from a short distance. Meanwhile, Bennett rushes over to you, preparing to defend you from the slime currently rubbing against you.

You wave your hands frantically at him. "Wait, no! I think they're friendly!"

He pauses, giving you a searching look. "You... ztuj ztgc us uz qigzzg?" he says, sounding unsure of himself. The others stop to glance at you as well. In response, you lean down to pet the slime. It's got a bit of a dusty texture, like a box that's been in the attic too long, but it's not wholly unpleasant. It's also really...

......really......?

For some reason, your mind feels hazy as you search for the right words. It's...?

You slump to the ground, causing shouts of alarm from your companions. Simultaneously, the slime puffs up, expanding to more than half the width of the walkway and gaining a rocky plate of armor. Amber and Fischl unleash a volley of arrows, and Oz starts firing off bolts of lightning. With a sweep of her claymore, Noelle bats what's left of the smaller slimes into the stream nearby and rushes back to you, inserting herself firmly between you and the still-growing slime. "Kygkrv kbgkr yonz uz ya, xaue kigxm!" Bennett also steps up, his eyes narrowed in fiery determination as his sword starts to glow with pyro.

You clutch your head, too dazed to stop them. What the fuck just happened?

With difficulty, you try to focus as your companions whack away at the giant slime. You're tired... no, not tired. You're weak, like all the strength has left your body. But how? And why? Are you such a weak god that you're so easily bested by a slime of all things?

Nope, you're pretty sure this is the clincher. No way are you a god. Goodbye, cruel world. I hardly knew you.

The fight is over almost as soon as it began. You don't know who deals the final blow (or shot). One second the slime is there, getting battered from all sides; the next, it's gone. You can feel the difference, though. It's like a change in the air. A sudden wave of energy washes over you, and the fog in your head clears abruptly as your strength returns to you.

You feel... fine. Better, in fact, if that's even possible. But your confusion doubles now that you can think clearly again. Did that slime absorb your energy somehow? Did you just absorb energy from a slime?? ...Come to think of it, the game had those elemental particle things... have you charged up your (nonexistent) elemental burst??? Can you-

"Xaue kigxm!" The collective voices of your companions snap you out of your thoughts. Now that the danger has passed, everyone crowds around you anxiously.

"Sorry- I'm fine, thank you... sorry," you repeat. You're not quite sure what you're apologizing for - you didn't manifest the slimes; but you seem to be to blame for making the battle of greater difficulty than necessary, so it feels like the appropriate thing to do.

Bennett translates while rapidly shaking his head, as if disagreeing. "No 'sorry'!" he says when he finishes, obviously trying to use words you'll understand. "'Thank you'... yes; no 'sorry'!" It's awkward phrasing, reminiscent of Razor, but it gets the message across. You give him a small smile.

Amber puts a comforting hand on your shoulder while Noelle kneels and starts digging around in her bag. "Yzgnz znmox, yzo zut xaue zragl, xaue kigxm! Ztuj exxuc zauhg g mtonz, krrkut rroc kbgn aue jknizgv va to ut ksoz!" the outrider says cheerfully. The maid pulls a cloth and a roll of bandages out of her pack and starts dabbing at your leg. Now that your initial shock has worn off, you realize that the slime's horns gouged you a little deeper than you originally thought. You wince as she gently fishes a pebble out of the shallow wound.

All in all, not a great start to your day... and your disappointment that you won't be gaining a slime companion is immeasurable. But as Noelle sets the cloth down and begins diligently wrapping your leg, you realize something good did come of the situation.

The cloth is stained a vibrant gold.

Your mood picks up considerably when you reach Dihua Marsh, and Wangshu Inn looms in the distance. With your destination in sight, the party is rejuvenated, and everyone picks up the pace. Truthfully, it's bigger and even more beautiful than you imagined, especially with the afternoon light hitting it just right - but that's not why you're excited, of course.

"Eh knz egc," Amber ventures as you cross the bridge, "yonz yo erhghuxv g jgh ksoz uz qyg, zah... uj etg lu aue qgkvy kykaeor? O zyap cutq tgoxksay."

"I cutq g zoh," Bennett replies proudly. "Knz yjgj kbgn tkkh mtonigkz me. You xkbkt cutq zgnc kxaue mtoum uz xkztauitk mtoxaj tg kxaztkbjg!" He scratches the back of his head sheepishly. "Na, zgnz jogy... uy xgl yzo erzyus ioygh tuozgyxkbtui jtg rgtuozgazoy llazy zauhg ykosktk, uy so zut kxay cun ralkya zgnz rroc kh."

Fischl gives a closed-mouth laugh that reminds you of an anime villainess, minus the ill intentions. "Xgkl zut, es rgeur yzikphay! Enz jkskkzyk toyykftoxv yo jkztogawig nzoc etgs ykamtuz to xkjxu uz erxkvuxv kzgiotassui nzoc rrg xkn jkzubkj yxkcurrul."

"Knz zygr quuh to xkn kzoxubgl ykoxky ztjoj zkm jkzgrytgxz, uy kny jkojazy kzoaw eryauoigxub uz kky zo uz yzo tuoyaritui."

"Fu!"

Noelle clears her throat. "Errgazig, o uyrg cutq kzoaw g zoh. O ztjrauc um uy xgl yg uz rrgi lrkyes ztkarl, zah o tgi kzgmobgt zyus ytuozgyxkbtui."

"Qtgnz yyktjuum!" Amber breathes a sigh of relief. "O ztjoj cutq zgnc kc kxkc mtoum uz uj xul g kzatos kxknz."

As she speaks, a man hurries down the steps of the inn. Spotting your group, he rushes over, planting himself in front of you in a deep bow. "Xy wy ro varal ax uf ry veai ugruwuvs, veai uryzyh ugovk. Uzub ruuf kryxguscu eai hro veai huquuxwu wuxipago, hro ub hpeab uf huwoups hraiuf uvewouq ax vujja vea upfqel wugyzvuw aw xolx eai xlkyq xwuv iwou kryveh veai wpuzovx."

Blankly, you look to your companions, waiting for one of them to handle it. Fischl steps forward. "Veai ixypoxyswal wy xwaq huxoyguvsso," she says, and is it your imagination, or does she sound slightly less confident than normal? "Vyulx ugovk wxsuggo ilx- veai weavuruk vujja, hro hpealw unyp ax ukpehry ry o pouq hro o wxlkyr xwuv uvajuf iulx hro vyulx ueryxuv ueryxrag vyulx rayxoryvkuvus- iurveam."

"Erkiot ktuj, toks tokragxl," Oz murmurs, and she puffs out her chest a bit, looking pleased.

"Ja uwveag, ja uwveag!" The man rises, sweeping a hand toward the building. "Vuzuxolb vyulx ugovk wuvywuh, jy xy wy rylxyb vea vubas ax uhyzavs, ub ppolw. Uwoups, bappo uq ax balw eai ax ulx vaxozupu." It would seem you're being offered a formal invitation. Fischl's gaze flickers to you, and you dip your head cautiously. She gives him a dignified nod, and Noelle waves you forward when he turns and starts walking. The others fall into step behind you.

When you get to the wooden platform, the man heads left toward the elevator. You pause. It took you forever to get the commissions to fix the stairs, so you're damn proud of them. But if no one's going to use them, what was even the point?

So be it. You'll use them, if no one else will.

You extend a finger in that direction and tip your head to your companions, indicating you want to go that way. They look at each other, shrug, and nod amicably. Everyone changes their course to see the fruits of your (aka the traveler's) labor; but as you reach the bottom step, you notice Bennett hanging back warily. "What is it?"

"Sa... ykxknz no mtorogx tu ktu kjoy," he says, licking his lips nervously. "Zo yquur jtoq lu- I zyap qtonz- zo znmos kh xkzzkh xul me uz kqgz knz xuzgbkrk yonz ksoz, gngn. Sorry." He points apologetically to himself, and then in the direction the other man disappeared. You're confused. He wants to take the elevator? Everyone else looks like they understand his request immediately, though, so you give him a nod.

Fischl falls back as well. "To zgnz kygi, enz toyykftoxv rrgny etgvsuiig aue to knz ztkbk lu... skng... tkkykxulta ykitgzysaixoi." She puts a hand on his shoulder and gives you a wave as the two of them round the corner, disappearing from sight.

Well... alright then. Their actions strike you as a bit strange without further context, but you assume they have their reasons. Even if they're just tired from walking the whole day, that's good enough for you.

You turn back around. Noelle gives you a supportive smile, and Amber gestures eagerly, already climbing the steps. The three of you set a leisurely pace, stopping to lean against the railing and admire the new view every time you round a corner. Mondstadt is no less scenic, but it’s full of rolling hills; Wangshu Inn is perfectly positioned between the flat marsh and the plains, providing a rare and spectacular view of nearly all of Liyue. Amber is enthralled by the floating Statue of the Seven in the distance, pointing and gawking in excitement. Meanwhile, Noelle seems content to simply enjoy the way the sunlight glints off the water as the first autumn leaves flutter past.

...Autumn.

You shake your head. Think about something else. Think about... think about Xiao. The thought spurs you on. Wangshu Inn might be a convenient place to spend the night, but you didn't come all this way to not see the yaksha. In fact, you'd been privately hoping to stop here for that very reason. With renewed vigor, you urge your companions onward, taking the steps two at a time in an effort to leave your less-than-pleasant thoughts behind you.

In no time at all, you reach the landing, and you round the corner without stopping, ignoring the gaping passerby and giving a wave to an unfazed Verr Goldet as you continue up to the second balcony. Your excitement grows with every step. If your friendship level theory is correct - as it seems to be - you should be able to understand Xiao better than anyone else you've encountered so far.

...In fact, being who he was, he'd probably know you were coming, wouldn't he? Do you dare to hope that he might be... waiting for you? You put on a burst of speed, stumbling up the last couple steps. And, sure enough, standing by the overlook waiting for you is-

-no one. But up on the roof-

...also no one.

In your dreams, a voice taunts in your head.

This is just not your day.

You purse your lips, reluctant to give up so quickly. There's still one option. Should I call him?

You don't get time to think about it. Amber and Noelle finish pounding up the last flight of stairs behind you, looking mildly winded from the sudden exertion. "Xaue kigxm-" Noelle starts, but doesn't get any further before Oz swoops over the balcony.

"Toks tokragxl ygn ztky ks uz sxulto aue zgnz knz xuzgbkrk yo qiazy," he says calmly. "Kny yegy, jtg o kzuaw, 'yg jkzikvdk'."

This draws a sigh from both of them. Amber brings a dismayed hand to her forehead. "Qig, kc kxkc zyap zauhg kaj xul mtonzksuy kqor yonz, ztkxkc kc? Zo kxay ztjoj kqgz mtur xul yon jgh qiar uz qioq to kitu kn jkzgxgvky suxl xoknz kigxm."

"Xuuv zzkttkh," Noelle says sympathetically. "Rro zkr knz xkvkkqtto cutq yzgnc jktkvvgn, aue kkxnz um qikni tu sknz." Amber nods and takes your hand. With some disappointment (which you do your best to hide), you allow her to guide you back down the stairs at a brisk pace, with Oz leading the way. This time, you cut straight through the inn and onto the opposite side of the landing, where the elevator and the teleport waypoint are.

Where the elevator should be, anyway.

Amber lets go of your hand and leans over the railing. "Kxg aue yeam znmoxrg?!" she shouts down.

You hear Bennett's awkward laughter as you peer over behind her, and you're alarmed by what you see. The elevator is stalled, dangling halfway between the two platforms. Even further down, the man who greeted you appears to be frantically checking over some sort of pulley system. Immediately, your eyes dart to the rigging at the top. Fortunately, nothing looks like it's about to snap... for now.

"Ztuj exxuc, yonz yo zyap xknzutg egj to knz klor lu tg xkxaztkbjg!" Bennett calls back up. He gives you both a thumbs up through the open doorway, though you notice he's otherwise pressed snuggly into a corner, looking cheerful as ever but not taking any chances. Fischl has made herself comfortable leaning against one of the walls, seeming almost bored with the whole affair. Justifiable, since you can only imagine how many times she's been through something like this. Oz glides back down to join his mistress.

"Ykrrkut mtozzkm knz xkvkkqtto," Amber responds. "So gttum qikni knz mtommox - o qtonz o kky mtonzksuy jkmmgty to kxknz." She gestures for you to stand back near the waypoint before shimmying up a post and beginning to fiddle with something out of your range of sight.

You do as she says, absently running your fingers over the waypoint as you look on uselessly. It's yet another instance where you can do nothing, and you're reminded again of just how much dead weight you are. It's beyond frustrating, and all the more so now that your golden blood has been revealed to you. What you thought would be a blessing is now seeming like a curse in disguise. Being a weak human mistaken for a god is one thing, but being a weak god? Why can't you do anything? Ugh, at least if these teleport points actually worked like they were supposed to, you wouldn't have to bother people with the mundane task of escorting you, if nothing else!

......Actually, wait a minute.

Do the waypoints work like in the game? When you cool your head a bit, you suddenly realize you haven't tried. Excluding the statue at Windrise, you haven't been this near to any until now - at least that you were paying attention to at the time.

You don't have the map, of course, but maybe you can just... think really hard about where you want to go? It's worth a shot. Best case scenario, you wind up exactly where you want to go. Worst case, it only works for the traveler (or as a game mechanic) and nothing happens. Either way, there's no harm in trying. If it works, you can just come right back and inform everyone.

You reach up to press your hand against the floating device. It's higher off the ground than it looked in the game but still easily within reach. The bluish material has an odd feel to it, one you're not quite sure how to describe. Magical, perhaps. The waypoint pulses with energy, and you feel confident it has to do something.

I want to go to Liyue Harbor, you think to yourself, trying to picture it in your mind's eye.

Nothing happens, but you're undeterred. Maybe you need to say it out loud. "Take me to Liyue Harbor," you say firmly, visualizing the overlook by the waypoint just outside the city.

...Still nothing.

You let your hand slide to the bottom in disappointment. This really isn't your day. First the ominous dreams... then I touch a slime and end up nearly fainting for some reason... and after that, I want to see Xiao, but he's not here, of course... and now all of this. What does it take for something to go my way, for once?!

And then everything goes white.

[foolforharrry]

Nails And Croissants

Word Count: 2.5k words

Summary: Harry and Willow go to get their nails done

This is just a short little thing to get the feel of how I wanna write the characters in a book that I'm planning. I an really excited about this and I hope that when I get to posting the actual chapters, you guys are going to like them and love them too.

This blurb is obviously way down the line from where the story is going to start but I wanted to give you guys a small taste of them.

This is also not that carefully written and is probably messy af, but I hope you still enjoy reading it.

if you wanna read more of my work, I have it all linked on my masterlist.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated and if you have any requests please feel free to give them to me and I will do my absolute best to do it.

Harry Styles Butterflies erupt in my stomach when I catch her eyes across the room.

The sunlight beaming in through the windows of the small nail salon makes the lighter strands of her brown hair look golden.

"What are you getting?", I ask her once she's sat down at the table right next to mine.

Her cheeks tint an adorable shade of pink when Willow's nail tech for today, Aspen, sets the bottles of nail polish Willow's chosen for today. "I swear it wasn't on purpose," she hurries out, her eyes flicking between the colours next to my own hands.

"Damn. And here I was getting excited thinking you wanted to match with me," I say with a playful roll of my eyes.

The laugh she lets slip is like music to my ears, and all I want to do is lay a kiss on her pretty, pink lips. But Mona coating my nails with a clear layer of base polish prevents me from doing so.

Instead, I settle on storing the image of Willow's face scrunched up with joy and laughter to memory. Her freckled, sun-kissed skin and the smile that doesn't just light up the room but my whole entire life.

"You're an idiot," Willow giggles, letting Aspen arrange her hands the way she needs them.

"I'm your idiot, though.", I remind her. To my delight, my words have another heartbreakingly beautiful break out on her face as she mouths 'I love you'.

Out of my peripheral vision, I can see Mona and Aspen exchange a look as I mouth 'I love you' back.

And God do I love her.

I never thought that I would ever be the kind of man who happily takes his girlfriend to get a manicure on my day off feeling like my heart is about to fucking burst from the love that's flooding it. The part of my heart I had tried so hard to keep under lock and key to protect it from being burnt again. But instead, Willow came along and took it in her soft hands. The calm of the sea in her eyes is all I needed to see before I let her.

"You ok, baby?" Willow asks, a crease of concern between her eyebrows.

Clearing my throat, I offer her a genuine smile, "Yeah, Blue. I'm ok." I can tell that she isn't entirely convinced, so I add; "Was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you."

The blush returns to her cheeks as Mona asks me to remove my hands from the UV-light machine. Which means that she's ready to give my nails some colour.

For the rest of the appointment, we make small talk with Aspen and Mona with the comfortable hum of the radio in the background. When a song by Taylor Swift I still haven't learnt the name of, Willow was out of her chair to turn up the volume with the permission of Aspen with a childish glee that she rarely lets show with anyone other than her closest people.

I swear I fell more in love with Willow when I watched her dance her way back to her chair.

Hand in hand, Willow and I walk out of the nail salon, freshly painted nails and bright smiles on our faces as we wave goodbye to Mona and Aspen. Our names are already on their calendar for next time.

I can't help myself from glancing down at our cojoined hands every couple of seconds, my heart fluttering at the way hers match mine.

Baby blue and pastel pink.

"H?" I don't even have to look at her face to know that Willow has her bottom lip tucked under her teeth and round eyes that'll have me giving into whatever comes out of her pouty lips.

"Blue?" I mimic her tone, tugging her closer to me so she doesn't bump into the man walking past us.

Willow lets go of my hand and before I can reach for it again, a pout on my lips, she snakes her arm around my back, my own going around her shoulders. "Are you hungry?"

I'm not. But knowing that she is and doesn't want to just ask directly, I don't say that. "What do you want, baby?"

It's like her shoulder deflates in relief the second the words leave my mouth and it has me turning my head and planting a kiss in her hair as I let her take her time settling on what she wants. Almost like she'd read my mind, she perks up, pointing across the street to what looks to be a small bakery.

"How about some croissants?", Willow suggests as I meet her eye.

"Croissants sound lovely," I agree, pouting my lips for a kiss.

Willow drops her gaze to my mouth at the action. Standing on her tiptoes, her hands gently cup my face as mine drop to her hips and peck. Her lips are soft as she presses them against mine in a way that has my heart doing somersaults in my chest. I can smell the coconut from her favourite lip gloss when she pulls away with a dopey smile, swiping away the product she left just below my bottom lip.

Blush heats my cheeks as I kiss the pad of her thumb, "Thank you, baby."

Thankfully the crosswalk is just down the street, the lights turning green for us after only a few seconds so we can make our way across the road safely and efficiently with my arm back around Willow's shoulders and her hand on my hip.

The bakery Willow picked out for us has a homey vibe to it. Flowers stationed on every single table with warm pinks and soft yellows everywhere you look. The smell of baked goods strong even from outside the shop. For a Thursday afternoon, it's rather busy.

Willow and I stood in silence as we waited for it to be our turn to order, content just watching the different people come in and out of the bakery every time the bell above the door rang.

The display of all the different options of baked goods is god damn mouth-watering and I make a mental note to bring Evelyn and Willow back sometime during the weekend. Knowing Evelyn, she would be over the moon over a cupcake that looks like a rainbow.

When it becomes our turn, I order us two croissants, thanking the lady behind the counter with a smile as she hands us the paper bag. And then we're on our way again.

"I was thinking that we should take Evie there," I speak as I take her hand in mine, resuming our walk back to the car with my eyes switching from the path in front of us to her face.

Meeting my eye, Willow nods with a hum, "When were you thinking?" "Maybe Sunday?"

Before she can ask, I add, "They're open."

"She's gonna have a hard time picking, poor thing," Willow laughs light-heartedly.

"Mhm," I hum in agreement, the smile that rarely ever seems to fade whenever I'm around her. If we're being completely honest, Willow and I both know that I would buy Evelyn every single one she wanted just to keep a smile on her face.

"I miss her," I say with a pout as we round the last building, my eyes landing on my car.

Willow rolls her bottom lip into her mouth before she opens it and says something I never in a million years thought I'd hear from her; "I don't know how you're gonna survive when she's off to college, babe."

Dropping her hand, I clutch the material of my t-shirt over my heart as if I was in pain. "Don't hurt an old man like that, Blue. I'm fragile."

"Oh shut up, H. You're not that old," Willow giggles with a hand on her stomach. Her nails match her pretty sundress and it has another swarm of butterflies flapping around in my tummy.

"It was still mean," I grumble with a pout, the thought of my little girl leaving one day isn't exactly one I enjoy.

Willow shakes her head at my attitude. "I'm sorry, love," she says with a pinch of my hip.

"You're lucky I love you," I say as I take her hand again, loving the warmth of her soft skin against mine. She grins at me, "The luckiest."

The soft curls of her hair dance in the light breeze blowing past us. Her golden skin glows so prettily in the sunshine she doesn't even look real. The light reflects in her baby blue eyes makes them twinkle as if the sun was hung in the sky at this very moment just for her.

I'm convinced that Willow is an angel sent down to this plane from the heavens above. Her calm, beauty and grace is simply too delicate to be meant for the harsh, painful world that we live in. But somehow, with all that she's been through, she still leaves a trail of light in her wake. She has lit up my life the way the sun lights up the sky after a dark night with only specks of light so far away you almost don't believe that they're real.

"No Blue. I'm the lucky one."

I'm sure she can hear the emotion that has started to clog up my throat, but she doesn't comment on it. Instead, she guides my hand to press a gentle kiss to my knuckle just as we reach the car.

I reach into my pocket for my keys, pressing the button to unlock the black range rover as I walk around to the passenger side with Willow in tow to open the door for her, quickly pecking her temple as she slips past me and gets settled in her seat with the bag of croissants in her lap.

By the time I'm sat in my own seat, she's opened the bag and is munching happily on her croissant. Eyes closed, head tilted back against the headrest and humming in the way she something is particularly delicious. She's got her hand underneath the pastry to catch any crumbs that may fall when she takes a bite out of it.

Just as I get out on the road, Willow's phone connects to the Bluetooth system in the car, the song switches to 'Right where you left me' by Taylor Swift.

It's almost comical how fast Willow's jaw drops along with her hand just as she was about to take another bite of her croissant. Her eyes go from the screen where the title is written in clear letters to my face. Accusing frown on her face as Taylor's voice and the gentle guitar fill the silence.

There isn't even a point in trying to contain my smile at the way it takes her around 5 seconds before she is turning up the volume and singing along to the song. Dramatic hand gestures and facial expressions that I catch out of my peripheral vision.

When she twists her upper body so she is fully facing me and sings; "I could feel the mascara run. You told me that you met someone," I can't help but take her hand and join her.

Who would have thought singing a heart-wrenching song about being left and unable to move on with the love of your life while driving down the streets of Los Angeles would have images of her in a white dress flash through my mind and a certainty settle in my stomach like I have only felt once before in my life?

When the song ends, Willow turns the volume back down, her face flushed from her intense performance and a shy smile curling on her lips.

If there wasn't a chance that doing so would potentially end in both of our deaths, I would've kissed her until we were both dizzy.

"You want your croissant?" Willow pulls the untouched one out of the bag, holding it out to me with her eyebrows raised in question.

Instead of saying anything, I open my mouth expectantly, waiting for her to get the hint. And when she does, she rolls her eyes playfully, still obliges and holds the pastry right in front of my face. She waits for me to take a bite out of the soft, crunchy slice of buttery heaven.

"Fuck me, that's good," I practically moan through a mouthful of croissant. This is possibly the best croissant I have ever had in my life.

Chewing it slowly, savouring the heavenly taste, I catch Willow with her phone out, pointed in my direction and a sly smile on her face. "What are doing, Blue?"

"You look really hot, is all," she shrugs, stuffing her phone underneath her thigh.

Willing the blush I feel heating up my face at the compliment go away, I point out the obvious; "That doesn't answer my question." Only Willow can have me blushing like a schoolboy and biting the inside of my cheek at a simple compliment.

"I got myself a new wallpaper for my phone," she tells me matter-of-factly as she squeezes my hand.

I rub the skin of her knuckle as the corners of my mouth tug up into a smirk, "If that's the case, then you can take as many pictures as you want."

When she stays quiet, taking bites of her croissant before letting me do the same, her left leg bouncing under beneath our cojoined hands, I can't help but laugh as the realisation dawns on me. "How many pictures do you actually have of me?"

She says something, but it's so quiet I can't make out the words. "I can't hear you, baby."

"I said that I've lost count," she repeats herself with a sheepish look on her face. "You don't exactly make it hard, baby."

"You ever gonna let me see these photos?" Knowing her, it's probably half pictures where I look decent and half pictures that could be turned into memes.

Willow takes a minute before she answers, seeming to mull over the answer in her head. "No."

"Then I'm not letting you see the wonderful collection I've gathered of you, Blue." It may be childish, but it does exactly what I wanted it to. Willow's grip on my hand tightens ever so lightly and I can feel her practically burning a hole into the side of my face with the intensity of her stare.

But she is stubborn, so she keeps her lips pressed tightly together. She keeps her view directed out the window at the cars, buildings and people we pass by.

"Am I sleeping in any of them?" she eventually breaks the silence. Her fingers drum along with the rhythm of 'Sweater Weather' against the back of my hand, something that I've noticed that she always does when she listens to music.

"A couple," I confess, holding in the urge to laugh at the way her cheeks turn crimson.

Clearing her throat, Willow tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. "If they ever see the light of day, you're losing your dick."

Slightly taken aback by how casually such crude words flew out of her mouth, I swallow hard with wide eyes, "I will remember that."

-

[mjso-soupp]

Meet me in the South

Chapter 2: I’m not native

(Subaru Sakamaki/Fem!American!Reader)

Word count: 2.7k

TW: Mentions of blood, and Bullying(idk lol?)

Notes: Im really proud about how this one turned out, updates may be more frequent since I do have a clear schedule for now.. Thank you for my two best friends for helping me through this (ahem, bubble and Iris..)

I like feeling the water rush under my feet, in the creek behind the church.

My friends fingers gripping my bare shoulder, scared she’ll slip and fall.

I laugh and tell her it’s okay if she does, I’ll get wet with her.

We walked the winding creek down to the river, my friends waiting on the bridge above.

She held my hand when we stood on the edge of the bridge, it’s not far. It'll last a few seconds.

I feel my insides become lighter when we jump, our screams resonate together and pierce the quiet air.

Water shoots up my nose. Once I reach the shore, she smiles at me.

“See? It wasn’t so bad.”

——

February 20th 2004

“Damn, you take forever to wake up.”

The bed sunk under the weight of the two, Subaru observing her resting face, the sun went away, taking the long shadows it placed on the earth with it, and the heat it blessed life. The last seven days were warmer in the night, occasional outings gave energy to both brides and life in the mansion was thriving. Her body was huddled under the king size sheet, curled in hopes of beating the chilling air in the mansion that never left. Her eyes cracked open, fluttering open to meet Subaru’s piercing gaze.

“Is it time for school..?” She whispered, propping up on her elbow. Rubbing circles on her lids.

“Hurry up, Reijis gonna be on our asses. You wouldn’t wake up so I just sat here waiting.”

“You were watching me sleep?”

“N-not like that! Tch, I was just passing the time. I went to sleep earlier than usual, and couldn't go back to sleep.”

“Okay..” His face grew red, standing up abruptly and walking to the door.

“Just, hurry up and get ready, okay?” Slamming the door behind him, leaving the girl on the bed confused.

——

“Can you tell me the answer to number five?”

Her head lifted slowly in confusion, the bright fluorescent lights hindering her vision whilst attempting to observe the surroundings. It was class time, the lesson had been slept away. Everyone was staring at the sight before them in her groggy awakening, watching her jaw stretch open for a yawn while her arms stretched behind her back, cracking it loudly. The teacher stood at the front of the board, ruler in one hand, chalk in another, waiting for a response patiently.

“Me?” She replied,

“Yes, you. You would have a clue about what’s going on if you weren’t sleeping.”

‘What class am I even in again? There’s kanji scribbled on the board, how many kilometers are in a mile again…? This is math right?’ Bright eyes finally adjusted to the bright room, noticing a group of girls in the corner covering their mouths.

They giggled. The one that stood out, leaned over to one of the petite girls next to her, whispering in her ear causing her to giggle continuously. They eventually made eye contact with her.

The girl's name was Hana, her hair was as dark as the atmosphere around her, that fell down to her waist, eyes of emerald green that slanted ever so slightly, making her look angry all the time. She also wore her uniform loosely: Blazer that fit her a size too large, button up with a couple of them missing, short skirt that questionably adhered to the dress code and a new pair of mary jane’s everyday. All her friends however, were short: Hair, Height, and short of dignity. As opposed to her menacing personality, she was surrounded with all the bubbly, gyaru girls? And they practically worshiped the ground she walked on, wiping her fake tears for her. Her father was a politician that worked with the Sakamaki brothers' father, that was the word around the class.

“debu.” Her friends laughed even louder this time, the teacher just rolled her eyes and walked back to the board.

“Enough of that. Please try to stay awake for the next lesson.”

“Yes, maam.”

Then the bell rang, signaling lunch, everyone rushed out of the room, crowding the halls. Hana and her friends watched the girl leave the room, turning their heads, smirking when they collaborated on their idea.

The bench on the top of the roof was her designated spot, no one would greet her up there. She had gotten used to sitting peacefully, listening to the wind howl while eating whatever the cafeteria was serving. Occasionally Laito would pop up, but not much

mind was paid to him

“Look who it is, it’s debu!” She stood up and walked towards the girl. Her eyes sent a glint even through the dark night and the moon shone on her shiny polished nails.

“Hey, Debu!” Her lips parted into a wide grin, licking her red lips. The bride's face dropped into a worried expression, her heart began racing, quickening her breaths.

“What does that mean..?” Hana laughed, bringing her hand onto her hip, her pocket knife metal shining.

The same girls laugh echoed behind, the bride snapped her head around, facing the three girls.

“Gaijin, they’re such an eyesore. Don’t you agree, girls? Maybe we should teach her a lesson.”

The pocket knife flipped open in the swipe of Hana’s wrist, lunging at the bride. Hana’s arm wrapped around the brides shoulder and held the blade up to her neck.

“Stop—what are you doing!” The cold blade pressed down onto the bride's pale skin, droplets of crimson earned a hiss from the frightened girl.

“This will teach you to stay away from what isn’t yours.” The blade slicing a thin line into the bride's neck, she closed her eyes in response, chewing on her lip to muffle a scream.

“Oi! What the hell do you think you’re doing!”

Hana jumped at the sound of the vampire's voice, she shot looks at the three girls, dropped her grip on the bride and fled, along with her group. Leaving the bride confused once again, she held her neck, blood streaming down onto her white button up.

“Fuck, are you okay— You’re always causing trouble for me! I can’t waste this, okay, I’ll clean you up.”

“I’m sorry—I didn’t see them coming.”

“S-shut up, they’re gone now.”

He brought her in close, taking in her scent before pressing a flat tongue along the incision, Lapping up any remaining crimson that didn’t leave a mark on the pure white blouse.

“Thank you.”

“Tsk. don’t thank me idiot.”

——

“Come on Shuu, it’s your turn!” Yui squealed, the sleeping blond had missed the past turns, everyone groaned watching him crack his eye open, unbothered.

“I don’t even enjoy this, just go ahead for me.” he crossed his arms, sitting next to Yui on the couch, observing everyone’s moves.

“Damn man, you don’t have to be a buzzkill. Hey, you! Take his turn.” Ayato barked at the bride sitting calmly in the corner, tugging at the bandages wrapped around her neck that bothered her. The pale skin ached from how tight Subaru tied it, also the constant tugging and readjusting he went through to get it just right. He gave up after the third try, huffing and tying it lazily.

“I don't play pool.”

The redheads face dropped in anger,

“Does anyone take this shit seriously anymore? You all are just afraid to get beat by Ore-Sama!” he groaned, placing the stick down before slumping down onto the cushion.

“Don’t get so worked up Ayato! Bitch-Chan has a lot on her mind, she’s practically scratching for someone to pay mind to her!”

Laito appeared next to the girl, leaning in close. His pearly whites shine in the dim lighting of the room. Warm puffs of air tickled against her cheek, causing her to flinch.

“Fufu..Subaru’s not here, just tell me and I’ll tend to your needs~ We all know Subaru doesn’t.”

“No, it’s okay—I'm good.” She waved her hands in front of her face, blushing at the suggestive offer. Laito had begun trying to make advances towards her, his bride seemingly disappearing into thin air after that night. She wasn’t bothered though, Subaru wouldn’t allow it really.

“Are you sure Bitch-Chan?” The smirk on his face widened, amused at her flustered response. She nodded her head quickly, becoming silent for a moment before blurting out.

“What does Debu and Gaijin mean..?”

Two of the triplets laughed out loud, the corner of Shuu’s mouth turned upwards.

“Damn Chichinashi! Where’d you learn those words?”

The bride’s eyes blinked in surprise and widened, blushing before looking down at her lap. fidgeting with the hem of her skirt,

“Awe Bitch-Chan, did someone call you that at school..?”

“I mean, yeah..”

Yui’s face became worried, swinging her legs slowly over the couch and plopping down on the couch next to the bride.

“I’m sorry they were so mean to you… It’s not true.”

“What? Can you just tell me what it means..?”

Yui and Laito gave each other a quick look, but turned their gaze back to the confused girl.

“If you won’t tell her I will!” Ayato exclaimed, “Debu means fat, and Gaijin means foreigner.”

“What!?” The bride stood up abruptly, stomping to the silver floor mirror and standing before it.

“Am I really… Fat?” Twirling 360 in the mirror observing all the curves and dips on her body, poking at her belly whilst sighing.

“You’re bigger than most girls Bitch-Chan~ You know, more area back there.”

She stared at him with an annoyed expression, lifting her arm up and looking over her shoulder.

“I mean I work out so does it really matter if I’m larger…? I’m not even large! I'm healthy so what does it matter!”

The two laughed again. Kanato finally spoke up after watching the scene unfold,

“Dolls are frail and skinny, not muscular like you.”

Teddy rested on his lap, facing the girl twirl in the mirror. Its eyes suddenly held so much judgment, she had to contain her fright towards the stuffed bear.

“I think you’re beautiful! It doesn’t matter what they say, as long as you’re healthy.”

Yui complimented, smiling nervously whilst clasping her hands together.

A loud creaking caught their attention, Subaru and Reiji walked in simultaneously.

“The fuck you standing there for?” Subaru questioned

“Someone at school called Chichinashi here a fatso!”

All three of the triplets bursted out into boisterous laughter, the girl's face dropped into a low frown. Reiji rolled his eyes, pushing his glasses up before speaking.

“Whilst she may not be to our standards, I read in America they prioritize fitness and muscle training as opposed to striving for a lean structure here in this culture.” his eyes narrowed before speaking once again,

“I am glad I found you both are here, you and this lazy, good-for-nothing have something in common. I received word from your teacher that you were sleeping in class, now I also read in your file you were transferred here to seek advanced education, although I do not see how sleeping in class can be proof of that. Let me make this clear for you, I cannot have you sullying our name, so If I hear you are sleeping in class again, I will see to it that I punish you thoroughly.”

The triplets grew silent, giving each other looks trying their best to not snicker. Goosebumps grew on the girl's arms, her palms clammy from embarrassment.

“And you,” Reiji spat, awakening the blond sleeping vampire. Shuu cracked his eyes open, visibly annoyed that there was such a commotion surrounding him.

“It appears you are set to graduate this year. Although, I hardly believe you will make it through this semester before failing, like you always do.”

He smirked while crossing his arms, walking over to the couch and looking down on his older brother.

Everyone watched as the blond on the cushion sat up and swung his legs over the couch. Eyebrows furrowed downwards, his lips as well into a scowl.

“You just had to ruin the mood, like you always do.”

“Did I hit a nerve brother? Why don’t you lay down and sleep away the hours, something you’re familiar with?”

Shuu shot up off the couch, balling his fist,

“Playing the eldest doesn’t mark your title.”

Reiji’s smirk dropped, his shoulders tensed up but relaxed after realization the sets of eyes resting on his figure,

“I have done more for this household than your faltered brain could ever comprehend! Absolutely no one would miss you if you left—as a matter of fact, go ahead. Leave, see if anyone is this mansion bats a lash, go ahead and save the burden for the rest of—“

Reiji’s sentence was cut short by the sound of Shuu’s fist delivering a blow to his face. Contact between the two resulted in an immediate snap, blood spurring outwards on the ground, splattering on the black and white tile. Metal frames clinked against the floor, shattering the thin glass, scratching at the tile.

“If you want to carry on the name so desperately, for that man.. I’ll let you, this family means nothing to me.”

Yui’s face became sullen: If Shuu decided to leave, would he take her? He would be leaving her here to fend for herself with the other vampires available in the mansion, having that immunity meant she could last an eternity being tormented by these people—without an end in sight. For once, the girl didn’t feel a burning envy towards Yui. For once, she felt sorry, sorry and relieved that for once, she wasn’t being preyed upon.

Reiji sat on the floor, cradling his nose to stop the bleeding. His nose was bent, it wouldn’t be the perfect shape his father had gifted him with, Shuu had thoroughly deformed it with that one single hit, he also decided to leave with Yui while everyone watched as Reiji sat on the floor in disbelief, his eyes saucers racing with thought yet nothing could be said. The damage was done, he achieved the thing he wanted most, he was next in line.

“Tch. Let’s go,” Subaru whispered to the girl, pulling her away from the crime scene. Her eyes lingered on the splattered mess on the floor, Reiji was looking for a rag to clean the mess up.

———-

February 21, 2004

“Don’t forget me. Okay?”

The girls intertwined hands, staring at eachother one last time. Shuu had decided to bring Yui along after all. Everything was booked last night to ensure their departure,

“Where are you going..?”

“I don’t know, Shuu said somewhere far away.”

The girl squeezed Yui into a tight embrace, frowning with tears stinging at the whites of her eyes. Petting the blondes hair slowly,

“Please be safe Yui,” Her voice cracked with soft lips trembling, pulling away eventually. The driver slammed the trunk shut,

“I’m ready when you all are,” Said the driver, opening the limousine door. Shuu put his hand on Yui’s shoulder and looked down at her.

“I don’t want to be here a second longer,”

The girl walked next to Subaru. His eyes hard with unreadable emotion, watching as the blondes boarded, finally escaping. Triplets watched as well the sudden pause Shuu took before fully entering the limousine, his eyes softening observing the household he lived in all those years. Yui’s small hand waving an eternal goodbye to the inhabitants of the house, smiling with no worry. She was free. The door slammed behind them, simultaneously when the limousine began driving away. Subaru’s head following along the shrinking image.

“There goes our eldest, maybe we’ll lose another.”

Laito said, turning on his heels before walking inside. Other two triplets followed close after.

Her fingers turned blue from how long the two stood there, listening to the cold wind howl and prickle at their pale skin. Huddled together with their arms intertwined,

“May be time for us to go,” She pulled away from the albino, clasping her hands together before walking into the mansion as well.

Shuu’s words appeared in his mind, turning his head to see Reiji's figure in the window peering out into the darkness,

“Maybe,”.

[wandafiction]

Hela's Kitchen - Just Us Chapter 24

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3507

Series List | Chapter 23 | Chapter 25

================================

So it's now Saturday, yes it's been a week since girls night. For the most part my week has been made up of going to Wanda's or her coming to mine after work, as both our work schedules were a lot lighter than the week before. It's been nice to be able to have meals every night with someone, sharing the bed with them and then waking up to kisses all over my face. Which, I now realise, is something Wanda loves to do and it makes me smile every time I open my eyes to her gorgeous, shiny green eyes and that toothy grin. 

I feel like I'm ready for the next step, crazy. I know we have known each other for just over 2 weeks but...I don't know. There is just something about her that pulls me in, she has been worming her way into my life since day one and even though we are still getting to know one another I want to give this thing a chance. Like a real chance. I just hope Wanda feels the same.

"Dorogoy, you okay over there? I can practically see the steam leaving your ears at how hard you're thinking?" Wanda brings her hand to rest on top of mine as we both drink our coffee and eat our pastries. We decided to come back to Second Asgard, as it's a beautiful day out and we wanted to explore New York a little together. I'm thinking of taking us to Brooklyn Bridge and then maybe the park next to it, for a beautiful evening. I am going to take her to a nice restaurant where the prices are a little steep but not ridiculous. I think I'm ready to be more than what we are at the moment, but I am going to wait for her to make that move. I don't want to rush her or make her uncomfortable, I am completely willing to go at her speed. Her pace.

"Sorry, just lost in thought about what else we could do today. What would you say if I drove us to Brooklyn and we did some sightseeing and enjoyed an evening stroll in the park?" 

"I would say let's go!" I laugh out as she finished off her coffee, quickly wrapping her pastry in a napkin so she can eat it in the car on the way there.

"You go get in the car, I will pay for this and before you argue you paid last time." I give her a pointed look and she shrugs her shoulders as she stands from her chair.

"Wasn't going to argue anyway." She cheekily replies before kissing my cheek and making her way to the car.

"She looks happy." I turn my head to see the blonde man smiling up at me. "You're good for her y/n, as she is good for you. But don't hurt her."

"I won't Thor, not on purpose. But I've I do hurt her I will pass you the gun." 

"That's what I like to hear. Now don't keep a lady waiting." I smile at him as I give him cash for the food. As he is handing me change his brother walks in.

"My brother is right darling. I haven't seen her this happy in a very long time, the same goes for you. While we have you alone I just want to apologise for my actions all those years ago. I should have never blamed you, it wasn't your fault in any way shape or form. I just had so much anger in me when I heard the news and to see you laying in that hospital bed alive. I should have never said what I said." I swallow the lump in my throat. I don't think I've ever heard Loki apologise and definitely not this sincerely. 

"Did Thor tell you off after last week?" I let out a small laugh, as does Loki 

"Maybe. But I mean it, my words are unforgivable."

"Thank you Loki. It means a lot to hear you say it and as for forgiveness you are forgiven because even though your words killed me I've come to terms with what you said and know they were wrong. As for our friendship you're going to have to earn that back, but I'm really looking forward to having you in my life again." 

"Can I hug you?" Loki asks timidly. I give him a soft smile and silently make my way over to him wrapping my arms around his shoulders bringing his body closer to mine. His arms wrap around my torso and I feel him grip onto the back of my shirt like his life depends on it. I feel his shoulders shudder slightly and I know that he is crying.

"You're okay. I'm okay. We are going to be okay." He nods against my shoulder, as I feel the tears start to soak through my shirt. "We are going to be okay. You hear me? I can't lose you again." 

"You won't. I promise I will do better." He takes his head off my shoulder as he looks up at me, me standing just a few inches taller. I lean my forehead against him, it's something we have done since we first met. It just lets the other person know we are with them and that it's going to be okay. 

"I know. Now as Thor said I can't keep the lady waiting. She is probably watching this through the window think 'what the fuck is going on'." Loki moves to look around me.

"Oh yeah, I'm getting the death glare." We all laugh out loud as I turn to see Wanda's face soften when she sees mine, I know that I've got a few tears running down my face. I wipe them away as I smile back at her. 

"I will see you boys next week." 

"Starting your weekly tradition of coffee and a muffin again." I nod and give Loki a goodbye kiss on the cheek and Thor wraps me into a crushing hug.

I escape from Thors grasp and make my way out of the café. I shake my body off as I walk out the door trying to stop the small tremors that have started in my hand from the many emotions I'm feeling. I take a deep breath in before slowly releasing , making my way to the car where Wanda has made her way out of and is standing on the sidewalk next to the car. She opens up her arms and I practically fall into a hug with her, my arms wrapping around her waist as I squeeze her tightly. I bend my body slightly so she can rest her chin on my shoulder and stand back up. She squeals as her legs sway in the air, now no longer on the floor.

"Y/n! Put me down." She squeals as I spin her around once and gently place her back down on the ground. Wanda removes herself from the embrace, her hands moving to cup my cheeks as she looks up at me, the sun lighting up her face perfectly. "You okay dorogoy? You had quite the moment with Loki back there."

I quirk my eyebrow at the jealousy I hear in her voice. "It's not what you think it may be Wanda. He is more like an uncle to me than anything else, and he apologised for something he did in the past. So yes I am okay. Actually never better. So Brooklyn?" 

"Brooklyn!" Wanda repeats excitedly as she pulls my face down to kiss me, taking her time giving my bottom lip attention before playfully biting it. We jump back from one another when we hear a loud knocking next to us, looking to see Loki behind the glass window of the café with an unimpressed look.

"Stop eating your girlfriends face in the middle of the sidewalk it's disgusting how happy you look." His muffled voice vibrates through the glass as he fake gags at the sight of us, but neither of us pointing out that we aren't girlfriends. When I realise Wanda didn't say anything, I look to her to see her looking at me with something I can't quite decipher and I nearly ask her out right then and there. But I have a plan, and I can't spoil it with my blabbermouth. I have to wait for her.

"Right, let's go." 

I open the passenger door for Wanda, making sure she is comfortable and buckled in before I make my way to my side. As I turn the keys starting the ignition checking my mirrors so I can pull away safely, I see Wanda place her hand on the dashboard of the car as I rev it. She loves this car, and I love that she loves this car.

We are sitting in the car enjoying one of the many radio stations, as we drive with the windows down our hair dancing in the wind. I have one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting on the frames of the door moving it up and down in the wind. I see Wanda shuffle to face me more as she rests her elbow on her door resting her face in her open palm.

"'Can I ask you something?" Her voice breaks the comfortable silence we had going.

"Anything." 

"What did Loki apologise for? I mean I've never seen that man cry and whatever he was saying made him emotional enough to cry." Wanda asks cautiously, not sure what my reaction may be. I take a minute to think about my answer but ultimately decide to tell her, it's about time I open about this time of my life.

"A few years ago, someone he was close with. Not in that way, but in a family member but not by blood way. Well they were killed in an incident that I was also involved in. They ended up dying while I survived, not that I was in good condition, but when I woke up in hospital the first thing Loki did was blame me. We had so many fights and I officially kicked him out of my life. Long story short he came crawling back with apology after apology and I think only recently have I been able to forgive him and accept his apology." 

We sat in silence for a few minutes as Wanda took in this information, I allowed her to take it in. It's a lot, and even though that's not even close to the whole story, hopefully it's enough for her to understand enough for her to know that I am willing to open up and tell her everything but it's going to take time. 

"How do you feel now?" I furrow my brows as I take a quick glance at Wanda before returning my eyes to the road.

"What do you mean?" 

"Well it sounds like you went through something really traumatic and then got blamed for that trauma. But now you have forgiven the man that placed the blame, I'm assuming all is not forgotten and he is going to have to earn is family title back, but how does it make you feel knowing you want him back in your life?" 

"Sometimes I forget you're 11 years older than me and then you come out with these wise words and the right questions. You know what to say when to say it and when to push and when not to push. It's impressive how you do it."

"Thank you, but answer the question." She knows to push and when not too and now is a time I definitely need a push.

"I feel lighter. Like I can let go of the hatred I had against myself because for the longest time I believed his words to be true, but I don't. Not anymore and I think that's how I am able to forgive him." I move my hand from the window to the steering wheel so I can grab onto Wanda's hand, bringing to my lips to kiss her knuckles. "Thank you for pushing."

"Thank you for trusting me with it." 

"Well I trust you Wanda."

"I trust you too y/n." 

"I do have one question though." 

"Shoot."

"Do you want me to meet your boys at all?" I hear Wanda hum in thought.

"I would like you too. I mean they come back to mine tomorrow and we are planning a friends and family cook out for next Friday. It would be really nice if you could come, just to meet them but I don't want to force you to do anything you're not ready for."

"I would really like to meet your boys, just give me the time I should show up, if I need to bring anything and I will be there." I lean over to kiss her on the cheek as we come to a stop at a red light. "We are nearly here by the way."

Wanda turns to look at her open window, her eyes searching her surroundings, taking in the bridge and park in the distance. I have booked a meal first, before we go for our walk and just spend time with each other.

"Where are we heading the bridge is the other way?" 

"Well I thought I would treat you to a beautiful meal first."

"Y/n." Wanda groans slightly, I know she hates the idea of me spending money on her.

"Wanda." I match her tone. "I know you don't like people spending money on you or for you, but I like to so you have no choice in the matter. If you really dislike the idea of me paying for all the food and drinks, don't, because there is no reason for you to. This is my treat." 

"I. I. Thank you." She breathes out slightly defeated. 

"If you really hate the idea of me paying for the whole thing I have no issue of you putting money towards it, I mean we can go Dutch if you really want to. I just thought I would treat you." I shrug, I get why she dislikes the idea of someone spending money on her.

"No, wait, no I mean thank you. This is really sweet. I like that you're treating me, I'm just going to have to get used to someone spending money on me again because since me and vision divorced I've always spent my own money on myself and the boys. Even before that vision didn't treat me much." 

"Well, unfortunately for you, you're going to have to get used to it because I like the idea of treating you. Spoiling you. Spending my money on you." 

"I like that idea but I want to spoil you as well." 

"I'm not going to say no to being spoiled to something once in a while. My favourite ice cream is caramel, my favourite drink is anything caramel flavoured. My favourite café is New Asgard and my favourite place to be is either on the beach or on the hills. Oh and I love sunset or sunrise." 

"Good to know. I will start planning my own little treats for you."

"I can't wait, princess. Whatever you do I will enjoy and cherish it." 

"So where are we going?" 

"Have you ever heard of Hela's kitchen?" I ask turning into the parking lot for the 5 star restaurant. 

"Yeah, Thor and Loki mention it every now and again. It's their older sister's restaurant right?" 

"It is." 

"I have another question."

"Go for it."

"Do you know everyone in New York?" I laugh out as I climb out the car making my way to Wanda's door holding it open for her as I give her my hand to hoist her out. 

"No I don't. I just know people who know people. I mean I didn't know your friends or those three men who were at the club. But I get what you are saying. It is a little creepy that we both know the same people yet have never met each other"

"Right! It's crazy to think we could have seen each other in passing but only now are we really seeing each other." 

"Well I see you Wanda."

"I see you too Y/n." Wanda takes a hold of my hand as we calmly walk to the front of the line. "I'm assuming because you know the owner you can just sort of skip the hour wait?"

"You assume correctly." I nod to the waiter who has worked here since I started coming, so he hands me two menus as I walk past and go to my regular chair which has a reserved sign on it. 

I pull out Wanda's chair for her as she takes her red leather jacket off, and I grab it, placing it on the back of her chair as she gets comfortable. I tuck her chair in for her, passing her one of the menus and make my way to my chair. I already know what I'm going to get and what drink I would like, but I have enough patience to wait for Wanda's decision. 

"Is there anything you would suggest?" Wanda peaks up over her menu seeing mine laying on the table discarded.

"I am going to have the sirloin steak, medium rare as they cook it perfectly here. I get chunky chips and peas as well. It's just what I need."

"Well that sounds delicious so I will have what you are having, and for a drink I will just have a cheap glass of red." I smile and nod at Wanda as I see Hela appear from her office making her way over.

"Y/n! Honey, it's been a minute."

"Well it took you long enough to make an appearance I was going to call a waiter over." I laugh out loud.

"How fucking rude of you! I will let you know I wasn't aware you were coming here tonight."

"Well you better train your staff better." I jest. Hela juts her chin at my words, but I know she knows I mean no harm. "Anway Hela this is Wanda, Wanda Hela. Wanda is a friend of Thor and Loki's and Hela is their sister."

"It is lovely to finally meet you, Hela. I have heard a lot about you from your brothers." 

"All good things I hope?" Hela holds out her hand which Wanda takes as they shake hands introducing themselves to one another.

"Of course." 

"Wanda that name rings a bell. Your the Sokovian with two twin boys right?" Wanda nods her head letting out a small yeah. "So are you two together yet?"

Me and Wanda both go wide eyed and stare between one another and then back at the Hela. Hela raises her eyebrows at us as we both recover from the question.

"I take that as a no?" Me and Wanda both nod our head at her question. "Well that's a shame, you guys make a cute couple."

"We've only known each other for like two weeks." I say more to myself than Hela because I feel like I'm ready for the next step but don't want to rush Wanda.

"Well you're stupid for not already asking Wanda out. She deserves better from you." Hela hits the back of my head earning a scowl from me and a laugh from Wanda. "Oh and Wanda your stupid too for not locking it down sooner." That shuts Wanda up.

"As y/n said we have only known each other for 2 weeks, and a day technically."

"Well you are both stupid because there is no timeline on these things." She mutters another stupid under her breath before smiling at us. "Anyway Y/n are you having your normal."

"Of course."

"And for you Wanda?"

"I will be having the same." Wanda places her menu on mine, handing it over to Hela.

"So two sirloin steaks, medium rare, with our cheapest red?" Hela double checks our order.

"Yes please Hela."

"No problem, someone will be back with your drinks and I will bring your food over when it's ready." With that Hela turns on her heels heading towards the bar to put our order in the system. 

"She is very to the point." Wanda voices her observations.

"She is, but it's one of the good things about her. She says it as it is."

"So what are we doing after our meal? Any more surprises?" Wanda sucks in her cheeks slightly poking her tongue into her left one as she stares at me, a small smirk grows on her face as she sees my eyes drop to her actions. Well holy shit, now that was hot! She has to know what she is doing.

"No nothing but the walk in the park to have an explore and look at the bridge." 

"Perfect. I can't wait." 

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