#am i thinking about restarting so i can make her a rogue again? maybe

[arendaes]

One thing about Amaris is...I do like how her being a mage plays out narratively, but I think mechanically I prefer her as a rogue.

[felondese]

rook stash

mulling over my rooks. i've got a couple of ideas to fit the classes/factions I'm most interested in and some guesses for their romances. I'll figure out most of the appearance details when we can play with the cc.

shit is out of control, y'all. i'm making one of every flavor, fuck it. i know who i am and how often i restart games. bg3 and my twenty-some save files are a recent memory. also nvm i did some mockups in a picrew thingie and now I'm fucking attached omg. and then i made kissy ones too. and another face one. fuck, yet another.

just stashing their deets here to fiddle with as i work out more particulars

hazel "rook" (like chess) ingellvar (mourn watch)

elf, city (crypt baby found by undead)

mage, death caller, staff

29, she/they nb, tall and thin, gothy/witchy makeup, curly blonde bob hairstyle

"British" rook voice, high pitch

blue diplomatic hawke with occasional spikes of red (how embarrassing)

e.g., "You think you can come into my bar and make demands?" - Let's talk this out.

idle animation: standing completely straight, arms linked behind back, poised. after a while, gives in and runs fingers through their hair to corral any stray curls, rubs their lips together to assess if lipstick needs to be reapplied, but tries to be subtle about it. eventually gives in and conjures a small mirror to check their reflection. on selection from party screen: stands even straighter, chest out shoulders back, and does a small curtsy, nodding like 'of course'

trained as a necromancer from a young age, joining mourn watch much younger than most. was one of their own, after all, and belonged without having to work for or prove it

a bit vain, takes pride in their appearance, fan of jewelry/accessories in the nevarran fashion/or maybe just emmrich fashion idk

bookish but curious about the world outside the necropolis

diplomatic by training but has a temper and low tolerance for inaction/impatient with bureaucracy, otherwise generally upbeat/positive

great enjoyer of puzzles and games, a real chess nerd

talented calligrapher and hobby artist, mostly sketches tombs they find inspiring, portraits of the undead detailing their decomposition (thinks it's neat)

full of fun fungi facts and a bit of an expert on the poisonous ones

fascinated by darkspawn and wants to study the blight, likes to collect samples of defeated enemies for later analysis

romances bellara (bonds over shared love of reading books and doodling in notebooks), emmrich is their mentor (headcanon)

previous relationships: as a little kid had a crush on manfred; heartbroken that he could not return their feelings, they never pursued love again. still, loves romance novels

team nerdy mages (bellara & emmrich) / mage-mage-mage party / necrotic-necrotic-electricity damage

ghil'ean "rook" (like the bird) aldwir (veil jumper)

elf, dalish, ghilan'nain's vallaslin (of course)

rogue, veil ranger, bow

33, she/her, average height, muscular for an elf (big arms/shoulders mmmm)

"British" rook voice, medium pitch

blue hawke, so good, so compassionate and kind

e.g., "You think you can come into my bar and make demands?" - Let's talk this out.

idle animation: a fidgeter, checks her nails, plays with a piece of hair, scratches an itch on the bottom of her foot, adjusts her arm wraps, picks lint off her cape. on selection from party screen, beams with enthusiasm and dances in place a bit

the veiliest of veil folk: veilguard, veil ranger, veil jumper

elfy elf, former scout for her clan where she learned to use a bow.

feels responsible for dread wolf/escaped gods situation

backstory: saved teammates during an expedition in arlathan forest, at the expense of a valuable artifact. loves her people <3

wary of humans/city elves at first, but warms up. fond of dwarves and intrigued by qunari. reluctant to leave the veil jumpers, strong attachments to them and to the dalish

rook = social, arboreal bird

can and will sleep anywhere, strong believer in the power of naps

nature lover, avid tree climber, explorer of elven ruins

rescues and rehabilitates wild animals (mother is the clan's halla-keeper, father is a hunter and trained hounds, family adopted many baby foxes/squirrels/crows and kept them as pets more or less)

previous relationships: a few but casual, including irelin, but who hasn't banged her? at least she has that in common with bellara ;)

romances davrin (bonds over assan, helps him with training) but may end up having a friends-to-lovers thing with harding (shared sense of duty, adventurous spirits, love of scout-stuff and archery stuff). good friends with bellara from veil jumpers work

team dalish elves saving the world yet again (davrin & bellara) / rogue-warrior-mage party (balance!) / electricity-fire-electricity damage

or team girl power (neve & harding) / mage-warrior-rogue / cold-electricity-physical

thea "rook" (like rookie) thorne (grey warden)

elf, city, anderfels native, orphaned young (tragic backstory with darkspawn-murdered family)

warrior, champion, sword & shield

22-23 (born just after fifth blight), she/her, small but strong/thick, kinda butch

"American" rook voice, low pitch

idle animation: working her jaw and glaring suspiciously, hands in her pockets, shoulders hunched. when selected on party screen, scowls at you and gives a reluctant shrug (being cool, not wanting to seem too eager to please)

red dialogue responses, aggressive/harsh, very black and white thinker, but mostly concerning the blight, everything else is less important, and having to point that out all the time irritates her

e.g., "You think you can come into my bar and make demands?" - Beat down the entire room to get the information.

trained with local militia as a teenager, eager to run off and join the wardens, despite warnings that she was basically signing up for slow suicide, if a noble suicide, and she was so young.

my favorite trope: little elf with a big ass sword and a bigger attitude

backstory: disobeyed orders to seal a tunnel to the deep roads, saving a village from a large darkspawn incursion (lost her family that way and Not. Again.). stepped away while tempers cooled.

mouthy, prone to boasting and exaggeration, hard opinions about right and wrong, so very young and sure of everything

new to wardenship but committed to protecting people from the blight

hobbies: prefers to stay active, be outdoors, spending free time training or exercising, hiking, hunting

previous relationships: if by relationships you mean fuckbuddies, oh yea. thank the maker the grey wardens are resistant to illness including venereal diseases or the order would never have made it this long

romances neve (i'm sure they'll bond over something that isn't just neve's beautiful brown eyes), besties with davrin

team hard hitters (davrin & neve) / warrior-warrior-mage party / fire-fire-ice damage

ursula philomena "rook" (like 'to cheat') mercar (shadow dragons)

qunari, vashoth (foundling adopted into and raised by human military family)

rogue, saboteur, bow (and bombs!)

37, she/her, small for qunari, wiry and quick

"British" rook voice, medium pitch

idle animation: checking her weapons, turning side to side to keep an eye on her surroundings, looking over her shoulder. when selected on a party screen, does a little chin gesture like 'sup?

mercenary turned criminal turned vigilante, comfortable with shady/criminal activity

gambler and drinker, enjoys loud taverns and live music. likes card games and relies on her winnings to get by sometimes between jobs

reddish purple dialogue responses. sassy but also a touch aggressive if she needs to be

e.g., "You think you can come into my bar and make demands?" - I'll do more than demand.

risk taker, down to earth, practical

has complicated feelings about tevinter (patriotic upbringing, a lot of resentment, happy to burn it down to end slavery)

adoptive family tried to raise a tanky warrior but got a skinny rogue. is as disappointed with them as they are with her. estranged

has had a few serious relationships, a few less serious flings, but she's been busy the last couple of years and out of the dating scene

romances taash (bonds over shared heritage, love of cash and things that go boom), tight with varric and harding

team not elves or humans (taash & harding) (we're workshopping the name) / rogue-warrior-rogue party / physical-fire-physical damage

or for reasons we'll explore in game together, strangely fond of lucanis, so takes him along in the party (with taash). team idk i got no cute theme for this yet / rogue-warrior-rogue / physical-fire-necrotic (more balanced)

feels like i'm neglecting lucanis and avoiding balanced parties. hmm might need a fifth rook concept. lords of fortune dwarf? something to ponder

beren "rook" (like the bird) laidir (lords of fortune)

dwarf, surfacer

rogue, duelist, daggers

30s, ftm he/him perhaps? show off those sexy top surgery scars

"American" rook voice, medium pitch

purplest of purple dialogue responses, can't take anything seriously, fond of taking the violent options for funsies e.g., "You think you can come into my bar and make demands?" - Beat down the entire bar to get information.

cool beard, eyeliner and facial piercings, tattoo'd face

idle animation: bounces in place and dances a little if left long enough, and also tends to hop every few steps out of boredom while walking (this is def for rp reasons and not because i use the space bar like a stimtoy while playing). does a little cheer when selected from a party screen

ran away from home as a teen and joined up with a ship's crew instead of continuing with the carta/family business

learned duelist specialization from isabela (headcanon)

can't make him wear a shirt

oh so many scars (including top surgery, which he shows off proudly). fights with daggers and is an accident waiting to happen, but scars add character and the ladies/lads love 'em!

collector of antiquities and shiny things, scavenger (rook = corvid, considered a pest or bad omen), but also random junk with no value. as eager to dumpster dive as to go treasure hunting in ruins

Trouble (note the capital T for emphasis). notoriously bad luck, always getting into wild and unlikely situations - blood-linked to the dread wolf is par for the course, really

mischievous, too curious for his own good (or others'), a snooper, a thief (in more of a 'oo shiny, i wants it' way with an afterthought of ''oo bet i can sell that too'), cursed to put his little grubby hands on everything

sees locks as a personal challenge, a taunt he cannot ignore, an affront to his nosiness, and it is his duty to unlock them. it's just askin' for it, really. he'll find a way in, one way or another, and is very smol and fits in many unlikely places. this dwarf can *climb*

has a genuinely good and caring heart, no real ill will towards anyone, even his enemies. hard to get on his bad side which is infuriating for some people, and he knows it. kill em with kindness and annoy them by being nice and helpful.

generous to a fault and yet somehow avoids being conned/taken advantage of, mostly by confusing would-be swindlers or annoying them into figuring it's not worth it

a "yes and" kind of guy, happy to go along with others' plans for interests' sake, does things purely to see what happens and because he's never done it before

will eat absolutely anything, good or bad, safe or suspiciously moldy. has a stomach of iron and food is fuel. anything with sugar is in danger, though, because he will gobble that shit up first

coffee? yes please. booze? yes! smoke? of course! illicit substances familiar or unfamiliar? why not!

absolutely zero instinct for self-preservation. danger? not a concern if there's adventure or loot on the line. not one to stay home picking lint off the sofa if there is (dangerous) fun to be had

personal hygiene is er, lacking. he is that peanuts' kid pigpen, just a cloud of dust around him at all times, a trail of debris in his wake. what's that in his hair? could be anything, really. fingernails? perpetually grubby. prefers to do his bathing in the sea

previous relationships: he's a treasure-hunting pirate and thus culturally a ho. for a dwarf, quite the ladies' and gents' man, charming in his strange way, hypnotizing his victims lovers with his adorable oddball 'rizz'. some say he's the blowjob king of llomerryn, mostly himself but other people too, for sure, have said that, or anyway you can't prove they didn't :P

romances davrin (for reasons including not limited to because his va is a sucky transphobe)? really who doesn't deserve a smol ginger dwarf pirate boyfriend? they'd all be so lucky

pre-veilguard team dwarf (varric & harding), buds with them

veilguard team spooky guys (emmrich & lucanis) / rogue-rogue-mage / necrotic-necrotic-necrotic, baby. specialists!

veilguard team ?? (davrin & neve) / fire-necrotic-ice

griselda "rook" (like a crow, of course) de riva (antivan crows)

city elf, mage, spellblade

zevran-coded appearance (long golden blonde hair, tanned complexion, tattoos?), delicate features, full lips, high cheekbones. big, catlike eyes

small stature, lithe and thin

American rook voice, higher pitch

she/her, early-to-mid twenties (just a baby), but an experienced killer

trained abroad in the in the [rivain? free marcher city?] crow enclave/franchise location, hence only knows lucanis by reputation. also why she has an American accent

only recently came to antiva when she earned her place as a full member of the crows. arrived in treviso just as the antaam did

idle animation: picking her nails with a dagger, swaying a bit in place, playing with a little wisp of magic and flipping it over her knuckles like a coin, fluttering her eyelashes at the camera and biting her lip/practicing her sexy pout. on party selection: a sly smirk and nod, unsheathing her dagger and letting magic crackle in her hand for effect (show-off)

dialogue responses vary depending on who she's talking to. can be very sweet/diplomatic even if it's hollow, more aggressive with anyone she doesn't like and isn't trying to fool

e.g., "You think you can come into my bar and make demands?" - I'll do more than demand.

demeanor is charming and playful, flirtatious. can appear innocent and childlike, surprisingly nonthreatening, to lure in her victims. all completely bullshit hiding cold brutality

romances lucanis (crow shit)

team ??? (lucanis & davrin) / mage-rogue-warrior / electricity-necrotic-fire

tobias "rook" (like a castle) ingellvar (mourn watch)

city elf, warrior, reaper

small and wiry but stronger than he looks

british rook voice, medium pitch

he/him, late twenties

idle animation: shifting from foot to foot, looking uncomfortable

red/harsh dialogue responses mostly, some blue/diplomatic, never purple (he does not joke)

e.g., "You think you can come into my bar and make demands?" - I'll do more than demad.

the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one, goth ed.

trained as a guardian of the necropolis, raised by mourn watch after being found in crypt as baby

does not startle easily, cannot sneak up on him

very dry sense of humor, revealed sparingly

rather cynical, pessimistic, distrustful of the living

romances emmrich (mourn watch love story)

team spooky (emmrich & lucanis) / warrior-mage-rogue / necrotic-necrotic-necrotic

bonus rook (lords of fortune qunari slayer)

i dont know who he is yet exactly, but he's a looker

theoretical team-ups:

bellara & emmrich + hazel (team nerdy mages) neve & harding + ghil'ean (team starter pack) bellara & davrin + ghil'ean (team dalish elves saving the world) neve & davrin + thea (team hard hitters) taash & davrin + thea (team gymbros) taash & harding + ursula (team lineage minorities) emmrich & davrin + beren (team spooky shield) taash & davrin + beren (team burning blade) taash & lucanis + griselda (team burning crows) lucanis & emmrich + griselda (team spooky crows) lucanis & emmrich + tobias (team spooky)

bellara || emmrich ||| davrin ||||| harding || neve || taash |||| lucanis ||

okay look i just want to bring davrin everywhere >.>

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Satisfied, Part 30

First

Previous

Next

~~~

She hummed softly as she walked through town with the horse miraculous. She watched people’s faces in search of some hint of recognition, but it seemed that she was still pretty obscure. Good. She didn’t want people to know that 'NightMare’ ever existed.

Outside of Harley and her crew, of course.

But, as her eyes landed on a person in the same suit as before and quickly found their way to the needle in their hands, she was beginning to wish that they didn’t know her either. She held her hands up in surrender as they neared her.

“Hey, it’s fine. I’m not going to fight, just put a bag over my head and we can go.”

The henchmen looked at each other awkwardly. Apparently, they hadn’t expected a near-child begging them not to put a needle in her. They didn’t seem all too interested in going against a kid’s wishes.

She smiled as a bag was put over her head and she was picked up.

She tried to track where they were going, she really did. But after turn number 14548 she started to wonder if they were purposely going around in circles to confuse her. Eventually she tipped her head back and closed her eyes.

She was brought firmly to the present as the bag was pulled off, nearly blinding her. Her hands came up to cover her eyes again as she cursed in French.

After half a minute she finally could look up, even though she needed to squint pretty hard to do so.

It wasn’t just Harley and the Penguin. Her eyes wandered over each Rogue in turn. No one seemed to be distinctly hostile. Harley smiled and waved. The Riddler was watching her with interest, not unlike how one would look at a puzzle. The Penguin was sending her wary looks out of the corner of his eyes. Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman seemed uninterested.

She smiled and wrapped Harley in a tight hug. “Hey! Nice to see you again!” She chirped, making sure to keep her face in the woman’s shoulder when she said so. If they were calling for her, something must be going on. She didn’t think it was going to be pleasant.

“Nice to see you, too, darlin’.”

She stood close to Harley’s side. She was the only one reacting positively to her existence.

Marinette bit down on the inside of her cheek as she looked around.

They were in a different warehouse than before, if the box placement was any indication, but it was an abandoned warehouse. Inconvenient if they changed every time they wanted to see her, it meant her and the bats couldn’t just plant a tracker on her and plot an ambush at a random time. They probably could come by right now, but everyone was clearly on guard, probably waiting for that kind of betrayal. They’d have to wait until the Wayne Gala to capture them.

The silence stretched on and Marinette fought to urge to curl in on herself. “So... why am I here?”

To her surprise, Penguin was the one to speak up: “Nothing special, I just wanted to ask a few questions.”

She raised her eyebrows. “I thought I got my interrogation out of the way last time?”

He shook his head. “Different questions.”

“Okay...”

They both sat in the dust and he pulled out a set of cards. She frowned confusedly as he started separating the deck into halves.

He gave a small smile as he handed over half. “Do you know how to play War?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Of course.”

She looked him up and down. He was clearly different from everyone else there. While everyone else seemed to have some sort of manic light in their eyes, his were so cold and calm that she felt a shiver run through her as he stared her down. She’d thought Harley to be the most worrying of the group, she was most likely to catch her out on a lie, but Penguin... she felt like he could figure out she was about to lie before she’d even opened her mouth.

She swallowed thickly as she shuffled her cards a bit.

They started playing, tossing the cards onto the ground. It was a simple rhythm. Toss, toss, winner takes. He waited until they got to a pretty quick pace before speaking again: “What’s your weakness?”

Her hand fumbled her card. That wasn’t at all the subtle manipulation she’d been warned of. She looked up at him, tipping her head to the side. “I don’t know. I guess I’d do anything for my friends...”

“And I’m guessing you wouldn’t tell us any of their names?”

She tossed down her card and sighed when they matched. “I. De. Clare. War.” She considered his question for a second, then snickered. “No, of course not. I’m not giving anyone anything they can use to find my identity.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “I. De. Clare. War.” They examined their losses and then all of the cards were pushed to her side. “Useless ones, anyways,” he muttered, though he still seemed somewhat annoyed.

“Why’d you ask?”

“Just hoping that you would be easier since you’re a kid and new to Gotham,” he explained calmly.

She scowled despite herself. He was hardly trying at all. Was he underestimating her? Or was there some sort of secret game he was playing?

They started to get into a rhythm again. “Alright, so the friends thing is bullsh--.”

“Language!” Hissed Harley.

Penguin shot her a glare. “So the friends thing is a lie. What’re you doing this for?”

“Necessity,” she repeated her answer from last time, tossing down an Ace.

She grinned cheekily at him, up until he set down one of his own.

“Sure, obviously, no one comes to this side for any other reason. But what is it that you need?”

She pursed her lips. “I. De. Clare. War.”

“I. De. Clare. War.”

She pushed everything over to Penguin.

“So, what is it? Money?”

“Nope.”

“Revenge?”

“No!”

“Power?”

She’d been expecting the question. It didn’t save her from tensing, from the slight pause of her hand. Still, she tried: “Of course not.”

His lips quirked into a grin. He’d definitely noticed.

He opened his mouth to speak, but whatever he was going to say was cut off when Harley shoved a tray of cookies in their faces. “Here you go, darlin’s.”

Marinette smiled awkwardly and took one from Penguin’s side. Nothing personal, she just preferred if she didn’t get poisoned.

Then he grabbed one from her side.

She bit the inside of her cheek. Dang, had she guessed wrong? Or was he just trying to even out what he saw as a debt? She couldn’t really change her choice, now, though. She nibbled at the cookie. It was pretty good.

Riddler suddenly dropped down on their left, smiling. “Hey! Can I join?”

She tipped her head to the side, cookie dangling half out of her mouth as she glanced at Penguin. Even if she wanted to have some sort of buffer between the two of them, she wasn’t going to say anything. It was his interrogation, not hers.

Penguin sighed and pushed himself to his feet. He dropped his cards into Riddler’s lap. “I got everything I needed, anyways.”

Riddler beamed and took the cards from her so he could shuffle. “You up for a game of speed?”

She shrugged and nodded as she picked her deck. She picked the top few up and started organizing them. Riddler did the same. Fun.

They reached out and flipped the middle cards, and then they were off.

“Who are you?”

“Secret.”

“Were you from Paris?”

“Not every person in France is a Parisian,” she muttered irritably.

“Didn’t answer me.”

“Yes.”

She cursed in French as he beat her to a card, her hand fumbling back to her deck. She waited for him to either put down a card she could wait until he ran out of things to play. Hopefully the first, she didn’t want to get behind.

“Were you known in Paris?”

“Yes. Under a different name and with a different outfit, though.”

“Is this your first time doing villain stuff?”

He’d paused, his hand hovering over his deck.

They met eyes for a few seconds and then gave each other a nod. They flipped to a new card and the process restarted.

“No,” she said. Not a lie. She’d done ‘villain stuff’ twice before.

“Does anyone know who you are?”

“Unfortunately,” she muttered. She tapped her last two cards against her chin as he whittled his deck down to one card.

“Would you tell me who?”

“Not a chance.”

He grinned and they flipped to a new set of cards. They both glanced at their hands and then at each other. They flipped again. Marinette put down her second to last card and then they eyed each other. They flipped one last time --.

Nothing.

They both sighed and let their cards slip from their fingers. Two sevens. Club and spade. Fun.

She rested her head on her hand and then blinked as he thrust a hand in her face.

“Good game. I’d love to get to know you better.”

She tipped her head to the side as she considered this. He seemed to think of her as something to figure out, as some sort of challenge. She already had two people who knew her identity, that was already far too much, but...

She grinned and shook his hand. “I’d love to get to know you, too, Riddler.”

He smiled and started shuffling cards again.

She felt a weight drop on her and blinked up at Catwoman, who had slung herself over Marinette.

“I don’t have anything to steal,” she said calmly, popping another cookie in her mouth. She figured she’d already be dead if they were poisoned, Harley seemed the type to like instant gratification.

“Saying that because I’m a Rogue?” She purred and all Marinette could do was sigh as she was handed a deck.

“I’m saying that because you’re Catwoman, being a Rogue itself isn’t all that concerning right now.”

She pouted but her hands stopped brushing over Marinette’s clothes for something to grab. To her surprise, though, Catwoman didn’t immediately pull away from her. She just continued to lean on her as she and the Riddler restarted their game.

Five draws later, both of them were cursing.

“HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?!”

“I DONT KNOW BUT ITS STUPID!” She yelled back, tossing the cards down and resting her head in her hands.

Catwoman rubbed her back in an attempt to calm her down. Marinette would be lying if she said it wasn’t at all soothing.

“Maybe this just isn’t our game.”

Riddler chewed at a cookie irritably. She would have thought that impossible a few minutes ago, but now she completely understood.

She smiled as Poison Ivy and Scarecrow came to sit on either side of them. “Thank kwami, now we can play something else,” she muttered half jokingly.

Poison Ivy gave her a small smile as she looked at everyone. “Go fish?”

Marinette snickered. “Aren’t you supposed to be Rogues? What’s with all the schoolkid games?”

Scarecrow laughed quietly. “You’re a kid, aren’t you? Wouldn’t be right to scam you out of your money. Come back when you’re 21 and then we’ll talk.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. Fine. Ivy, got any...”

She played miscellaneous card games until pretty much daybreak. They were all pretty evenly matched at most luck-based games, though Catwoman did attempt to ‘help her win’/cheat quite a few times.

Now, though, light streamed through the tattered blinds. She groaned exhaustedly and attempted to push the sleeping Catwoman off of her back, only to have her lean more weight into her.

She sighed and closed her eyes, allowing herself to lean into the Rogue. Just a few minutes...

~~~

I actually learned this interrogation method through my mom

She’s a therapist and she’ll play quick-pace games while asking questions people would be inclined to lie about

Apparently it’s pretty good at figuring things out

~

Me, staring at my finally finished plotting: oh. huh. this is a LITTLE longer than i thought it was gonna be

~

Taglist

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<3

[foxymoxynoona]

I was reading your anon q&a and there are things I agree and disagree with but it's whatever I guess. My personal problem that might be when it comes to Bella is that it's like trying to finish that same level in some game,you do it again and again you think you learn every possible move but then again you make the same mistake and game restarting. She learns a lot from therapy but always takes few steps back after her progress lefting me wonder isn't she learn anything like what. I know that in real life healing is a slow process, and obviously I'm not expecting her to become motivational coach or whatever in such a short period but it's 52 chapters already and we still reading about her having a good day and then a bad day. I'm not trying to be rude or something just trying to understand if this story will have a logical ending or it is just a story of 1 or so year of Desmond-Jeon family??? Maybe it's my fault that I expect such conservative story with the beginning of story(Bella returning to her hometown and reunited with Jk) and the end of the story (happy end or not so happy end). Maybe your way of writing is just different then Im sorry for misunderstanding whole point. It's just 13 chapters left but every previous chapters are like "they fighting,now they not,now they do,now they not", so it's hard to predict what kind of ending you have prepared for us. Again if it's just a slice of life type of story and I lost whole point then sorry.

I think asking about what I see as the purpose of the story is a valid question! No judgement here.

The story will end in a happy place. While not all the problems in the world will be resolved, but I am confident that most readers will be satisfied that Jungkook and Isabella are in a happy, honest, and loving place to move forward with their life together.

Your point abotu the chapters is a really interesting one I was thinking about this morning, because we're actually kind of in "the second book". Or maybe even arguably the third! Book 1: all the things that happened between them before this book ever started. Book 2: all the things that happened when she came back to town which culminated in him realizing he does love her and she agrees to marry him. Book 3: Their journey figuring out marriage, blended family, and healing together from old wounds now that some of the stressors (like poverty and absence) have been removed.

I can definitely understand how the give and take of their fights can be exhausting as a reader. They can be exhausting to write too! Maybe there are areas I would tighten things up or consolidate if this was a real book I was publishing in the real world. But it's just a cathartic, fun story for me to write. I've found a lot of pleasure and relief in letting theirs and her struggles actually take the time they need, rather than skipping merrily through the rough bits like media tends to. Media tends to make it look like marriage is the end of the story but let me tell you, it is only the beginning! Getting married doesn't mean you'll never fight, never hurt each other, never do things you're ashamed of, or even discover brand new stressors and traumas as you go through life that upheave things all over again.

I love your video game analogy but I would say that trauma recovery is more like: you may be trying to play the same level of a video game, and sometimes you get a little further than you did last time before something kills you, and sometimes you get tripped up earlier than you wanted because you forgot about something you should have know. And then you get to the end of the level and realize it's only one level and you're leveling up but the bad guys are probably also leveling up. and add in the rogue-runner element: sometimes you HAVE to play the same level over and over until you get strong enouhg, and level up your armor and weapons enough to actually beat the level.

Yeah, I like that analogy a lot actually. Thanks!

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Riverdale 5x04 Review

Wow I loved this episode it was really really good. It definitely felt like a fresh start for the show. It was fun seeing the characters as adults and seeing what they have been up to in the last seven years some of their storylines were really heartbreaking and they’ve all had their strugglings but all the storylines caught my attention and I am excited to see them play out. So lets dive in and talk about the episode. The usual disclaimer stands these are just my own thoughts and opinions and of course there are spoilers so the rest is under the cut. 

Archie

So the episode jumps right into the action from the start where we see a dream or rather a nightmare that Archie is having. As predicted poor Archie has PTSD and is struggling with what he went through when at war. What was interesting is the dream gives us some details on what happened to Archie during the time he was in the war zone. It seems like he was part of a mission to rescue a fellow soldier who had fallen behind enemy lines. I am assuming that the soldier in question is Corporal Jackson. It also seems like Archie was definitely a hero in this scenario as his commanding officer says that the men in his unit are alive because of Archie giving the impression that he saved more than just Jackson’s life. It is also obvious that Archie feels alot of guilt about the ones that he couldn’t save. I do want to talk about the dream some more though as another interesting thing is that Archie subconciously melded his two worlds together to give us this surreal scene of a battle and a football game. I do think this dream could be symbolic of what is to come in the season. I could also be reading way too much into it but it is still interesting to explore. For example the first person to fall is Reggie and we see Archie pause and look back calling for him. When Archie arrives back in Riverdale it is to the news that Reggie now works for Hiram. So you could say that he was the first to fall under Hiram’s spell/ manipulation/ power or whatever you want ot call it. We don’t know yet why or how Hiram and Reggie came to be working together. The next person to fall is Jughead but unlike Reggie Jughead talks to Archie. But what he says I think is significant. He says ‘Archie, just a little help.’ I think this could indicate Jughead’s struggle with alcoholism. I do think Archie and Jughead could end up mirroring Fred and FP. When FP was struggling with alcoholism Fred was the one who tried to help him by giving him a job and later he took in Jughead when he found out Juggie was homeless and was willing to give FP a job again. I do think Archie will help Jughead get through these struggles in a similar way that Fred helped FP. However I also think some of this could be a representation of Archie’s guilt about how he betrayed Jughead when he kissed Betty and that maybe he feels some responsibility for the pain Jughead is going through now because of that. 

It is also worth noting that Archie also sees his friends, Veronica, Betty, Cheryl, Kevin, Fangs, Sweet Pea and Pop Tate cheering him on from the sidelines as he tries to rescue Jughead. I do think this will show that while Archie will be the most involved in helping Jughead heal all of their friends are going to surround them with support. We have to remember that Archie himself is struggling and so I think this might indicate how the whole group will support each other. I also think some of it sybolises what kept Archie going whilst he was at war. It was the memory of his friends and his desire to one day see them again. 

The last part of the dream is showing Hiram holding Archie at gun point as he tries to save Jughead and Archie freezing up. To me this scene did remind me a bit of the scene where the black hood holds Archie at gun point in Pop’s also that last gunshot before he wakes up reminded me of that gunshot going off in the season 1 finale when Fred got shot. I think in this moment Archie is confronted with what he fears the most, freezing up right when he is supposed to be saving someone he cares about. I also think its a foreshadow of the war that’s to come between Hiram and Archie. 

Anyway leaving the the dreamworld behind, Archie is told that he is being reassigned to restart the RROTC at Riverdale high. So that means Archie is heading home. He obviously isn’t happy about the orders wanting to head back out to the frontlines but I think he’s probably being reassigned because of his PTSD. This is a bit of a divergent but I couldn’t help but laugh a little when Archie’s soldier friend said Riverdale sounded nice. But Archie gave him his address so it looks like that poor guy will showing up later to discover how wrong that statement was. I am intrigued by his character so am looking forward to seeing him pop back up again in Riverdale.  

Once Archie gets back to Riverdale we get alot of information from Toni about what has been going on in Riverdale since they’ve all be gone. We learn that Hiram is stripping Riverdale’s budget to fund SoDale which caters to the rich. I have to say I’m ok with this storyline. When I saw the interview that Archie and Hiram were going up against each other again I was less than enthusiastic about it. But this makes sense to me, I can see why Hiram would do this and yes I do think it is very in character for Archie want to save Riverdale. Also I think because we know it won’t be just Archie but a whole collection of characters like Toni, Alice, Kevin and the rest of the core four going up against Hiram, it won’t feel too much like a rehash of the same storyline. Also this is a little silly but didn’t anyone else feel like Archie was more upset about the bus stops than he was with the fire station getting burned down. Like when he saw the fire station it was like hmm we should rebuild this but when he saw the bus stops he was all WHerE ArE PeOplE GoiNG To SiT!! I dunno maybe its just me but I found that kinda funny. Of course that did give us some more information, we learnt earlier that the Serpents now drive trucks and Toni says sometimes her trucks use the lonely highway. But they never go at night and that bad things happen at night on that highway. This is interesting because we see that girl at the end, who well its pretty obvious she was killed, get into a truck at night. So this tells us either its not a Serpent because Toni said they don’t travel at night or one of her serpents has gone rogue. 

Archie decides that if they are going to save Riverdale then they need reinforcements and so he calls the core four back. I must admit it was a little sad when he said to Toni could they go and see if any of them showed up because it shows that Archie had doubts whether they would or not. I mean that last scene with the core four to me reminded me of the scene in season 1 when Vee and Bee were sitting together at Pop’s and then Archie and Jughead come in and Betty invites them to join them and its shows them all laughing together, only this one was really sad because they weren’t laughing together in fact the atmosphere was very strained and tense. It was sad to think of that comparison. But that being said I do think it is a testament to their bond that they did all show up when Archie called. I also liked that he said Toni was as much a part of it as anyone, like thank you Archie speak that truth.     

Overall I liked Archie’s storyline this episode. I liked his new friendship with Toni and I hope that continues. I also feel like he has alot more maturity and seems more sure of himself, he seems alot more grounded than before. But whilst I think the Army helped him in many ways it has also led him to alot of trauma and pain. His PTSD I think will be a big part of his arc this season and I hope they do it justice. 

Betty

The next person we are shown is Betty and to be honest I don’t think it was a coincidence that they showed us Betty right after Archie. I think their storylines are very similar. Both have gone through something horrifying and traumatic and both are struggling with PTSD, both have had their seniors give them different roles in their jobs and both of them are struggling with this believing they can be more useful if they could go back to what they were doing before the trauma. It does seem like both of them are denying that they are struggling and are refusing to confront that trauma. I do think that Betty and Archie are going to be going on the same journey this season, I think they will turn to each other for comfort and over time they will encourage the other to face their trauma and heal together. 

We learn from Betty’s therapy sessions that she is still a trainee and also that she messed up on one of her investigations. It seems one of the villians this season is The Trash Bag Killer or TBK as they sometimes refer to them. I’m not going to lie when I first heard the name I half laughed and half rolled my eyes at how ridiculous a name it was. And then I found out why they are called that and that’s just horrifying, like suddenly that name didn’t seem so funny when its because he dismembers bodies and then wraps all the individual pieces up in trash bags. Like that legit freaked me out so I think we might get an actual real stakes scary ass villian this season which will be both terrifying and fun at the same time, I guess seriously though I am going to have nightmares about those trash bags tonight. We also find out that Betty was held captive by TBK for two weeks and that she hasn’t spoken about her captivity to the therapist. Obviously she has deep trauma resulting from that. Also to me Betty rushing in there without any back up is very in line with her character. When doing investigations in Riverdale she never waited for backup and I think this is one of the things she is struggling with adjusting to outside of Riverdale. I think she learned a hard lesson that she has to rely on help sometimes. Similarly to Archie I do think she has alot of survivors guilt she has to work through and is regretting not being able to save people that she feels like she should have saved like Teresa and the other victims of TBK.  

The other thing we learn about Betty is that she seems to be in some kind of relationship with her boss Glen. I legit got so excited when I saw Glen purely because I recognised the actor who played a very sexy werewolf in a show called Bitten that I watched years ago so when I first saw him I was like CLAYTON??!! But once I got over the initial shock I decided I’m not a huge fan of Glen mostly because I didn’t like that comment about Betty’s serial killer brother. I mean he knows Betty has been through some crap and is struggling and he is just casually throwing out the reminder of her brother. Also it does not seem like Betty is all that invested in the relationship which makes me wonder if it isn’t really a commited relationship but more of a FWB kind of thing. I do feel like he wants more with Betty than she is willing to give. Like he was offering for them to get pizza and hang out at his place and she lied about meeting with friends and just went home to her cat which not going to lie relatable (except for me its go home to my puppy dog who is the most loyal man I have ever had in my life). So I am unsure on what their relationship really is as it wasn’t really made that clear. I mean to me he seemed really jealous and insecure when she said she had plans which again makes me lean more towards its a casual thing. We really don’t know anything about them, have they been on dates? Have they been intimate together? How did it start? How long has it been going on? We don’t have answers to any of this. I did see on IMDB that Glen is only listed for this one episode. However the main cast are only listed until episode 7 so I don’t think IMDB have information past episode 7 so he might still make an appearence after that. Also I don’t know if IMDB if 100% accurate but so far for me it has been very accurate. The reason why I say this is because we know next episode that Betty is going to be in the shower with someone. I did wonder when I first heard that Betty had a special relationship with a collegue that it might be them in the shower with Betty but Glen has a beard for one thing so unless he shaves it can’t be him, the person in the shower is clean shaven. Also like I said he isn’t listed as being in episode 2 on IMDB so I’m fairly sure its not him in the shower, which again makes me feel like it is more of a casual thing. I mean we know Betty can cheat shes done it before but I’m not sure if they would go that route with her again but we’ll see. 

I again liked Betty’s set up. I am curious to see where this TBK plot is going. I also wonder if it will link up with the trucker killer I also wonder if TBK is someone we know already, maybe its Chic. I don’t think it would be Charles because although he is a killer I don’t think he would hurt any of his family. I know that they were in prison last we saw them but we don’t know if they still are so they could be a possibilty. I did hear that both actors were seen in the area where they film Riverdale so who knows. I really do hope that Betty does get some time to heal now that she has her friends around her again. 

Veronica        

Ok this one is not going to be a unpopular opinion I think, I haven’t been in the riverdale tag yet as I didn’t want to be spoiled before I saw the episode and then I started writing this review right away, so I don’t know what everyones opinion on it was but here it goes. I didn’t hate Veronica’s husband Chad. Like from the interviews I really thought I would hate him but to me he just came across as a husband who had seen his wife nearly die and was now being too protective of her. I know before the episode everyone was describing Chad as being a controlling abusive husband but I didn’t really get that from this episode. Now I do want to make it clear that I do feel like this might change. I mean the next synopsis says he is having her followed so I do feel like he is going to get worse and I’ll then end up hating him but from this episode alone not so much. I think its just that his reasons make sense. I also feel like the problems in the relationship are less to do with Chad being controlling and more to do with a break down in communication. For example the whole having a child thing. I think its perfectly natural for Chad to want to have a child with his wife, especially when they’ve just had a near death experience that might make Chad feel like they should sieze every opportunity before its gone. I also think its completely fine for Veronica not to want children and to focus on her career. But before we go painting Chad as the evil husband who is trying to force his wife into having children we need to remember that Veronica hasn’t told Chad she doesn’t want children right now. When Chad said he thought this would be the year Veronica replies ‘hopefully’. Now with that response it would seem to anyone like she too wants to have children. She might have told Hermione about her true feelings about the subject but she hasn’t told her husband. Even later when they are having an argument and Chad says ‘we’re suppose to be trying to have a baby’ she still doesn’t tell him that she doesn’t want a child. Also I was kinda on Chad’s side about Veronica lying about where she was working. Like I understand that Veronica wanted to avoid an argument but he is right that would have been very awkward and embarassing for Chad to show up at what he thinks is his wife’s place of work and talk to her friend and discover that his wife doesn’t work there anymore. But again that was a result of the lack of communication. On the flip side of all of that you’ve got Chad who is trying to bubble wrap his wife and its like Veronica said he has forgotten who is wife is, Veronica is a tough gal who doesn’t need to be bubble wrapped. I think all of the problems they are facing right now were brought on by the accident. Chad might have really struggled with seeing his fiery, strong and passionate wife in such a vulnerable position after the accident. Seeing her so fragile then made him want to protect her but he takes it too far wanting her to reduce how much she works and even where she works. Veronica also admits to giving into Chad to avoid arguments. I do think their conversation at the end was good it seemed like they were opening that communication back up. But then Chad gave Veronica that egg. Again I don’t necessarily think this is all Chad’s fault and I don’t necessarily think that because he has given Veronica the same gift her Father gave Hermione that means he is evil. It is obvious from the fact that he talks about how a new one comes out every year that he doesn’t know that connection. Once again Veronica doesn’t tell him that she doesn’t like the egg she just sells it. For some reason Veronica seems to feel like she can’t be open with her husband which is worrying, I do think they are both a bit at fault here and they are both making mistakes, it seems like they’ve both been walking on egg shells around each other since that helicopter crash. We know from an interview that Chad is going to be jealous of Archie and I do think alot of that is going to be because he will see that Veronica and Archie, because of their history together, have an honest and open communication with each other and his wife isn’t being honest or open with him, he and his wife don’t have that when really they should. Unfortunately I do think this will cause Chad to act more and more possessive and irrational which is likely what will then lead to me hating him.  

As for Veronica’s job I am a bit confused about what it is exactly that she does. It looked to me like she was running a kind of underground slightly shady jewellery shop. But whatever shes doing it looked like she was flourishing. I mean she previously worked on wall street and it does seem like she really misses that line of work so hopefully one day she’ll be able to get back to doing what she loves. I am glad that it looked like she was standing up to her husband and making it clear to him what she wanted. I do hope she addresses the baby thing soon though and tells him that she doesn’t want one right now. Again I am interested to see where this storyline goes and just how far to the dark side they will take Chad’s character. Whether they will go full blown he’s the new hiram lodge or whether they’ll have him go pretty far but then give him a redemption arc. I could unfortunately see them give him a redemption arc and then killing him off which I hope they don’t do because that’s a worn out troupe. 

Jughead

So last of the core four is Juggie. Again what is interesting to me is like Betty and Archie, Jughead follows from Veronica and their storylines too are similar. Both of them are dissatisfied with their careers and are having realtionship troubles. Juggie is not in the best of places lets be honest. He had one successful book but now he has writers block, is drinking too much, is in a toxic relationship with his girlfriend jessica and has debt collectors banging at the door and yet the thing I was most shocked by was his new tattoos. Like all the other characters to me this storyline for Jughead makes sense. He has always seemed to draw inspiration from Riverdale for his stories so I think he is struggling to write now that he is left. I do think once he starts investigating a good old Riverdale mystery those creative juices will start to flow once more. I would also like to point out how there was no Jughead narration throughout the episode until those last few moments when Jughead is back in Riverdale and he narrates over Squeaky getting into that truck which could be seen as reaffirming that Jughead will be able to write again once now he’s home. I do also feel like Jug is struggling with the Barchie cheating incident. I think it has left deep wounds for him and I’m hoping now that he is back in riverdale they can start to heal them. I do think its not just the cheating thing though but also because they all broke their promise to meet up a year later. I do wonder if Jug has any bitterness towards the fact they didn’t keep their promise to meet a year later but when Archie called everyone came running. I mean Jughead did not look happy to be there at all and there was definitely tension between them all. Though I would say there was less tension between Archie and Veronica and Archie and Betty.  But I did pick up tension between Jughead and Betty and Jughead and Archie and also a little between Betty and Veronica. 

Anyway going back to Juggie. His girlfriend eventually leaves him because at this point she is tired and feels like Jughead cares more about his book than about her. I do wonder if we might see her again later. Jughead gets over her seemingly pretty quick though when he meets Cora at the bar. I do find it kinda funny that the topic that gets brought up that leads to him getting laid is effectively his relationship with Betty. But we do learn from that conversation with Cora that Jughead’s book is called outcasts and seems to have been based on the serpents and his romance with Betty seems to have been included in it. I do wonder if Jughead wrote the book as a way to sort through his feelings about the break down of his relationship with Betty and ultimately that didn’t work because he still had that pain and that feeling of betrayal. One thing I will say is that I hope that they don’t do a similar thing they did in One Tree Hill where Jughead can suddenly write again and he writes a book about Betty because it would feel a bit too much like he is being saved by Betty and it creates this dependant relationship where he can only write if he’s with Betty. I don’t know I’d just rather he is able to write because he is creative and a good writer not because he is in a relationship with a particular person if that makes sense. I feel like maybe right now he doesn’t know how to function outside of his relationship with Betty which is why he is so quick to sleep with another woman right after Jessica leaves, I feel like he might have been using other women to fill that void, so I would like to see him learn how to be his own person outside of any relationship, I feel like he kind of needs to find himself again. 

In regards to Cora, I mean that girl knew what she wanted but it made me so uncomfortable the way she went about getting what she wanted, I mean she effectively stalked Jughead. Also from the way she said if she didn’t hear from him she would call the debt collectors I feel like maybe she might show up again a bit later. To be honest whilst I feel like Jessica could reappear in a flashback I think Cora could show up and cause trouble in present day. 

Toni 

I am so happy with how much screentime Toni got this episode. She seems to have done pretty well for herself, she’s Serpent Queen and she runs the new White Wyrm, she’s got that serpent trucking business and she’s got a baby on the way which it seems like she is happy about. I am very curious about who the father is going to be. I am still thinking it could be a surrogacy thing with Kevin and Fangs. Maybe that’s why she isn’t telling anyone who the father is yet because fro whatever reason Kangs aren’t ready for people to know. It could be that the three will raise the baby together. Another person I thought it could be is Sweet Pea because of that moment when he talked about how when Toni came back and Toni cuts across him talking about them restarting the serpents. I could be projecting here but it seemed to me like maybe Toni was worried about waht Sweet Pea was going to say like he might say when Toni came back we started a fling and now we’re having a baby together. I’m not completely sold on that though it was just a thought I had. Another thought I had is maybe it is Jugheads. Maybe he came back to town for some reason or Toni met him in new york and they hooked up leading to her getting pregnant. Again I don’t think its very likely but it would be shocking and I do feel like they are going to try and shock us with it. I also feel like it has to be a character we have seen before. 

I am a little worried about Toni  though mainly because of the storyline of her having tht trucking business going on. We know that Vanessa has gone on maternity leave and that they recorded her scenes in advance but I still feel like she’s going to have to be a little more absent. I could see a storyline where the Trucker killer feels like Toni is getting in their way and so they decide to do something about her maybe kidknap her. Or maybe they threaten her leading to Toni leaving for a little while to protect herself and her baby.  

Cheryl

Ok Cheryl’s storyline really hit home for me and I got emotional about it. The whole story line where she hasn’t left Thorn Hill in years was particularly moving for me because I suffer from a condition called agoraphobia which seems to be what Cheryl is struggling with on top of other issues. It’s a very complicated condition and alot of people misconcieve it as meanign you can’t go outside but actually its more complicated than that. It is a fear of spaces precieved as unsafe. As a result alot of the time it will result in those with the condition being unable to leave their homes because their home is typically where they will feel safest. However at the same time it can make your home feel like a prison because even thoguh you might want to you physsically can’t bring yourself to leave your home. Cheryl believes that she is cursed and so many terrible things have happened to her that I’m not surprised if she now precieves as anywhere outside of Thorn Hill as not safe. It was also sad when she compared herself to Sarah Winchester and how she feels she is cursed and that curse will one day consume her. Cheryl is clearly in pain and I think she is using the painting as a coping mechanism. I really hope she is able to get help and begin to heal. 

I do feel like something else might have happened to Cheryl that we aren’t aware of. I notived she was wearing one glove in all the scenes we saw her in which is similar to how Penelope wore a glove after she was burnt. So I wonder if Cheryl is wearing the glove as a reminder of her mother or whether it is because she herself has been injured in some way and is covering it up. It also seems like her Nana Rose might want her to start a Art fraud business which is odd. Maybe they are struggling for money?  But other than that we didn’t learn much about Cheryl so it’ll be interesting to see where they take her character. I mean we saw in the trailer that she does eventually leave Thorn Hill. 

Other Little Things

Ok so here I jsut want to talk about some things that were too brief to warrant a whole section to themselves but that I still think are important. 

I am so happy that Kangs stayed together, they are super cute together and I hope we get to see more screen time for them and Sweet Pea. 

I wonder why Hiram wants Cheryl’s maple groves. I am assuming its something to do with SoDale but I can’t think how its related. 

It is interesting that they have brought Stonewall back into the storyline. It does make me wonder what happened to Donna after seven years. Is she still running from Charles not knowing that it was him and not knowing that he’s been caught? 

Theories for the next episode.

So as I usually do I am going to finish off with theories for what I think will happen in the next episode. 

1) The promo for the next episode starts off with a girl running from a truck. I think this girl will be Polly but I think it’ll come at the very end of the episode. the shot that was in the season trailer of Betty with a gun at home is also in this promo. I actually think Betty will hear a noise and go investigating and it’ll turn out to be Polly arriving there. Part of the reason why I think it could be Polly is because she has surprised Betty a few times before so it would make a parallel to those other scenes where Polly has popped up in the house surprising Betty. I think they will reintroduce her in this episode and then the last scene will be her running from the truck which will explain the synopsis for episode 6 where is says Alice, Kevin and Betty think Polly is in trouble. 

2) Another person that could surpise Betty is Archie. A large part of this is because one of the writers released three emoji’s to describe Barchie which was a gun, a pizza and a key. I think this one could be the gun emoji.  Also in the promo there is a shot of Archie and Betty in her room looking out her window and Archie saying he is going to take the town back. I think maybe Arch comes to talk to her and when she doesn’t open the door he just comes in thinking something might be wrong. I do think they might be at the window to spy on the ghoulies is Archie’s house. It is also worth noting that Archie is in the same clothes that he was in at the end of ep 4 when they were at Pop’s so I think this scene happens early in the episode. It is also possible that Archie stays at Betty’s to do like surveillence on the ghoulies. 

3) There is also a shot of Veronica in the blonde wig and it looks like she is either buying or selling one of those eggs. In the synopsis in talks about how Veronica gets crafty when she finds out Chad is having her followed so I do think this scene is related to that. The egg to me looks just like the one she sold this episode so maybe she is buying one back for some reason. 

4) We can see Hiram telling someone that maybe he should teach them a lesson. I think he might be talking to Archie here. I could see Archie going straight to Hiram after meeting with the gang and then going to Betty after that and making that I am taking back the town speech. 

5) Another scene in the trailer is Betty saying when are we going to kick their asses. I think her and Archie are making a plan to get the Ghoulies out of Archie’s house. We do also get a shot of the ghoulies and it looks like there is alot of them in there. It also looks like they have trashed the place. I do think its possible this is where the pizza emoji will come in I could see them having pizza while they strategize and the key could be to do with getting access/ control of Archie’s home back. We do also see scenes of Betty and Archie beating up the ghoulies with baseball bats so I reckon they will be successful in driving the ghoulies out.

6) We see Jughead at one point hiding behind the counter at Pop’s. We know from the synopsis that he is hiding from debt collecters. We also know that he is getting a new job I could see him getting a job at Pop’s. Again I think Jughead is very much mirroring his father right now and this would be another parallel between them.  

7) Ok so the shower scene. I am pretty sure that it is Barchie in that shower. But the question is how do they end up in the shower together. Well someone else earlier when that scene first came out said they thought the shower looked like Archie’s and yeah it definitely could be there is a window in the right place. So if it is Archie’s shower that maybe their blodd is running a little hot after beating up the ghoulies and the adrenaline is still pumping and that leads to them hooking up. Now I am being a very greedy Barchie shipper here but what if it doesn’t start out in the shower. What if they start out in the bedroom for example and then after decide to take a shower together and thats when they hook up for a second time. I’m just not sure why else they would both be in the shower. Unless they spend the whole episode having moments and the tension builds and builds as the episode goes on, then the fight gets their blood pumping and when one of them goes to have a shower to clean up the other just thinks to hell with it and joins the other one in the shower. 

Well as I said earlier I really enjoyed this episode and I am looking forward to seeing where it will all go. So until next time.   

[thetradeway]

Session 51 Sep 18 2021: “No! Get out of my orifices!”

Right - where were we? Oh yes, we fought some piranha and found some chests and some Duergar statues. We fill Mina in on what she missed; she offers to craft Gideon a new finger.

“No… No, I don’t want your goblin crafts on my body!”

Then there’s some waffle about covid deniers. (Ed believes covid is real; Gideon does not.)

Who wants control of the urine-drenched sorcerer? Sophie, OOC: “You make it sound so appealing.”

She agrees to take Ahleqs, if Matthew will help her out.

Now, when I put a message on the group chat earlier to ask if we were starting at the usual time tonight, our illustrious DM messaged back to say ‘Yep yep yep thumbs up emoji smiley face emoji’ which was far too enthusiastic. We are all now very wary. Ardvack slams a potion before we get started.

Right, where were we going? There is still a strange magical island with a wall around it to explore. There is a boat that leads to it; Gideon advances to Investigate. It looks old but in good shape and water-tight. There are oars. He thinks three will fit in it; he volunteers as do Tarragon and Melaina. Gideon, sternly: “No pilfering, rogue.”

Tarragon rows us across. Do the others want her to go back and pick them up? Apparently not.

Gideon investigates the magical barrier, which is blocking the door, but rolls a nat 1. We make Perception checks - the giant statue of the dwarves god of crafts has an offering bowl at his feet, with something written in Dwarvish. Gideon would read it, but Ed’s buggered off.

“You cannot enter this room.”

Tarragon decides to take this as a challenge. She takes out a gold piece and puts it in the offering bowl; nothing happens so she takes it back out. Gideon covers the ‘not’ part of the carving so it reads 'you can enter this room', but that doesn’t seem to help either.

Tarragon looks at the magical wall. It’s blue, and looks a similar colour to the brazier in the other room. Could we light a torch from the brazier and try waving that at the wall? Maybe. In the meantime Gideon puts some food in the bowl; nothing doing.

Ardvack, shouting across the water: “Have you tried blood?”

Gideon squeezes some blood from his severed finger stump - still nothing. Tarragon rows the boat back to get Kessler, who has hopefully been lighting one of her torches. She has not been able to light her torch from the brazier, however; it won't catch.

Is the bowl loose? Could we pick it up? No, it’s attached to the floor. Could Kessler pick up the brazier? It won’t move either. Time for stupid ideas.

“Hey Carl,” shouts Kessler pointing at the brazier, “put your hand in that.” Carl does not. Kessler gets just such a doggy look from Ardvack; she laughingly tells him she can’t tell because he has no face. Instead he leans down and says snottily, “Carl is precious.” He investigates the brazier. Can he feel warmth coming off it? Nat 20.

There is no heat coming off it. It does create light, but there is no noise. It is not consuming anything physical. He doesn’t think it’s evil or necessarily good; it’s just a spiritual fire. Ahleqs does an Arcana check. It’s some kind of divine magic; he is fairly certain it could be extinguished with a high enough levelled Dispel Magic spell.

Ardvack puts his hand in the brazier; it doesn’t burn him. He puts his whole head in. He’s a bit light-blinded afterward for a minute or so, but is otherwise unharmed.

Tarragon has Dispel Magic, but doesn’t have it prepared. What about Ahleqs? He doesn’t have the spell at all.

Gideon wants to rest his battle-axe on the offering bowl; he does that, but nothing happens. He rescinds the axe. Perhaps crafts, considering the nature of the god? Perhaps something he’s made?

Ahleqs has Ardvack’s leather face mask at the moment; since that was made by Kessler, perhaps we could try that.

Melaina is Investigating the door behind the wall of force. She can see beyond it to a ruined dock. If she puts her hands out to the wall of force, she can feel it though it doesn’t harm her. Would putting the brazier out remove the wall? She rolls a low Insight check and doesn’t know. Gideon rolls a low Religion check as well; he doesn’t know either.

“Alright Goblin, you’re up. Do your thing,” says Gideon. She puts Ardvack's mask in the bowl, but still nothing happens.

DM offers a clue if we roll good on Insight; Ardvack, Melaina and Gideon all do. They think the inscription refers to the desired offering. Gideon wants to put something in the bowl that would not fit in the door.

What about a fish? They breathe air, and so could not pass anywhere above the water. Tarragon steps into the bowl and Wild Shapes into a fish; still nothing happens. She changes back. Is this one of those children’s riddles that we should have definitely got by now? Joe says we will absolutely kick ourselves when we get it.

Ardvack picks a handful of mushrooms - and that bloody well works. You cannot enter this ‘room. Goddammit. Joe removes the wall. If Ardvack had a face, he’d be looking smug.

We go through. Goblin shield goes first. She sees something horrible - it is currently standing motionless. It looks like a huge dwarf in heavy armour, but made of stone, and there is a faint red glow emanating from its chest. There is an open chest next to it full of shiny shinies; Kessler points them out to Melaina, possibly in hopes that she will go first. Melaina, sadly for Kessler, does not fall for this trick.

Ardvack ventures too close and it spots him - initiative time. (Ed has disappeared again. While we wait, we discuss Matthew’s zombie campaign. We will all be level 2 when we return, which gives us an ability called Zombie Grab. Matthew and Sophie order pizza.)

Tarragon Potions and readies a Thorn Whip (which always reminds Sophie of a Walnut Whip. Not the Ann Summers sort of whip, Joe asks? No, but interesting that his mind went there.) Melaina hides and shoots - 24 hits, for 22 damage. Her bow is magical, correct? Yes. Good. Okay. Bits of rock fall off the golem. Hooray!

Does she want to move, say, to run away? (Oh shit.) She moves back so everyone else can get in.

Kessler takes aim with her crossbow. 24 hits for 7 damage, and her weapon is magical as well. She reloads and shoots again for 7 more damage while Matthew and Sophie decide what Ahleqs is going to do.

They decide that he will cast Shatter on the golem. Ba-boom! It has to make a Constitution save - at Disadvantage. “Because you’re made of stone. Like an idiot.” But it gets Advantage on saves versus magic, so that’s just a straight roll. 13. “Ha! You lose!” It takes 19 Thunder damage. Ahleqs cheers, then hides behind Tarragon.

It rushes at us - Tarragon looses her Thorn Whip but misses.

Carl uses his big stick that Tarragon gave him, but misses, almost hitting everyone else around him. He was excited. He doesn’t move, but holds the line.

Gideon is up. “Ed stop eating sausages!”

“… How did you know what I was doing.”

He Acid Splashes it. The Golem fails the save, even with Advantage, and takes 9 Acid Damage.

Like the hero he has proved himself to be, Ardvack does a cautious tactical repositioning to get away from the golem, does Shksdjlsdglsghjkhhbllhh, and then casts Eldritch Blast. It hits, and more stone crumbles off the golem.

Tarragon does Greater Shlgljksdkgjfhl;jjjhh, just to flex on Ardvack, and hits it for 11 Bludgeoning. She bares her teeth at the golem.

Melaina falls back a little, and shoots again. Matthew and Sophie suddenly seem unable to hear the rest of us, so there is a short recess while we sort that out. Their wifi has died. I decide, in my infinite wisdom, to restart my computer; of course, it decides to install something without even asking and so I am still waiting for it long after Matthew and Sophie return. I miss a bunch of stuff; some people do some damage, and the golem does a thing where it forces a Wisdom save - those that fail have their speed halved, and can do an action OR a bonus action on their turn, but not both. Joe makes an attack for me, which hits. Tarragon is pleased. And then I’m back!

The golem is looking ropey. Its light is still glowing, but bits are falling off it. It turns on Carl, even though Kessler has imposed Disadvantage on it if it attacks anyone but her. 14 still hits, as does 29, and he takes THIRTY NINE damage. Carl is now on zero, having had exactly 39 HP previously.

Matthew, sounding worried: “This changes things.”

Carl makes a real death save - and fails. "No! Carl!"

Gideon's turn - and Ed has snuck off again. Or fallen asleep. We skip him for now and move on to Ardvack. “I’ll save you Carl!” Then, to himself as he runs, “Not my precious Carl…” He casts Life Transference. (A lovely, sacred, holy Cleric spell.) He saves Carl, but instantly regrets walking closer to the golem.

Tarragon batters it for 16 damage - the light begins to flicker and sputter in its chest. Does she want to move? “Nope!” She could bonus action dive in the water with the Quippers if she wanted? “… No thank you.”

Melaina does a Scorching Ray - one of the three hits for 7 fire damage total. It’s looking ‘exceedingly ropey’ but is still up.

Kessler gets the how-de-do-dis with her Thunder Gauntlets - she runs up it and yells “Red means stop!” and punches it in the chest. It falls to the ground in a big pile of rubble. We solved Joe’s Golem puzzle!

Matthew, immediately: “Loot its corpse!”

Kessler is holding the gem from its chest; it is no longer glowing. Ardvack sets about the treasure chest. It is open, and there is gold inside. He clicks on the loot chest, and adds 100gp to the 3000cp he finds. (428 cp, and 14gp each.)

Kessler: “Anyone got a Transmute spell?” (That's a lot of coins.)

Ardvack shares out the treasure as equally as possible. Kessler finds herself overburdened. Melaina slyly: “I could carry your treasure for you.”

Kessler: “No thank you.”

Where to next? There was a rope bridge in the room with the brazier that led to an island with a dead giant spider on it; Joe zips us all there for expediency.

Melaina crosses the bridge to approach the ‘very very dead’ spider; it looks like its moving around. Not the legs, but as if there’s something moving under the skin…

A swarm of maggots burst out of the spider, taking her by surprise. They swarm up her legs and over her flesh.

Melaina, equally horrified and furious: “No! Get out of my orifices!”

(This is why Joe was so pleased earlier isn’t it.)

She now has two rot grubs burrowing under her skin. We’ve all heard of these, the subject of adventurer’s tales swapped in taverns. Melaina knows she has to burn them while they’re still just under her skin, or they will burrow to her heart and kill her.

Well shit.

We roll initiative…

Ardvack fails at Eldritch Blast, and the grubs become resistant to that type of damage (Force I think?) for 1d4 rounds. (4. Fuck.)

Ahleqs does a Burning Hands at them. They fail the save and take 6 fire damage. Several screech, and curl up and burn.

Melaina wants to cast Scorching Ray on herself - she can do that. She takes two fire damage, and the grubs die. She can spend the rest of her action to squeeze them back out of the holes they burrowed in through. Delightful.

Tarragon moves to the side and Thunderwaves the swarm - they fail the save and are pushed off the bridge into the water to be eaten by the Quippers. Yay! Everyone wins! We move forward, Melaina at the head.

DM suddenly: “Stop there, Melaina!”

Us immediately: “Oh no!”

She finds a door with a shape carved in it - the gem that Kessler took from the golem looks like it would fit in there. That is not relevant right now, however, as she has charged forward and tripped a trip wire. She fails her Dex save and a giant ballista bolt sticks her for 14 damage. Could have been a lot worse. She decides she’s not doing anything else, even when tempted with a treasure chest; she goes to sit in a corner and sulk.

The treasure chest is on a different island, reachable only via a broken bridge. Kessler suggests throwing the dead spider into the water to distract the Quippers while we jump across.

Do we want to take a short rest first? Yes. Tarragon makes up some Relaxing Bark, allowing everyone to regain a couple of Hit Dice which we roll, and take potions. Ardvack casts Life Transference on Carl again.

We are about to move on when the DM has us all roll a d20. Uh oh. Anyone who got ten or more can get five more HP back, as we burned incense in a temple. Yay!

Matthew, grumbling: “Oh as soon as we get a long rest, you can bet I’m going to be re-summoning Admiral Pancakes…”

Do we want to jump the bridge after the treasure? Is it worth it? Melaina wants to; the rest of us are dubious. How far can she jump with a run-up? Ten feet. She could jump it.

“Alright then, I’ll do it. Whoosh.” Kessler follows her.

Melaina checks for traps - an 8. She can’t see any! Sophie, OOC, resignedly: “Oh, right, okay.”

She checks the chest itself and finds a trap mechanism - some nozzles sticking out of the ground next to the chest. She makes a roll with her thieves tools, and by the skin of her teeth (13) disarms it. It would have been bad; one nozzle would have squirted her with flammable liquid and the other would have set her on fire. She finds a Brooch of Shielding! There is another item, a ring, which seems magical; Kessler takes eleven minutes and casts Identify as a ritual. It’s a ring of Swimming!

Melaina gives the brooch to Ahleqs, as he would almost certainly appreciate anything that would give him some extra protection. We decide to crack on, as it would take another hour for him to attune to it. Besides, the longer we’re down here the more this place sucks so we’re all eager to leave.

Kessler puts the gemstone into the hole in the door and it creaks open; we walk through. We enter some tunnels, which are very claustrophobic after the caverns. It’s very dark. We follow them until we come out into another large cavernous room.

We jump to another map…

There are more islands with about ten foot tall towers with glowing orbs at the top. More water, and a broken stone bridge. (Is anyone reminded of Beverly?)

The bad news is, this room has glowing orb lights, a broken bridge, and more islands. The good news is, it seems quiet enough that we could take a long rest.

Kessler does her Alarm spell, and Carl - not needing to sleep - takes all the watches. We all take turns to watch with him as “his Perception is for shit.”

Kessler takes first, Tarragon takes second, and Melaina third.

Carl and Kessler make Perception checks. A 3 and a 6; oh dear. Kessler thinks she hears water noises, but it could be just the water on the shore.

Then Tarragon and Carl. 13 for Tarragon and a 16 for Carl. We watch some bats flitting about in the light from the strange tower; nothing dangerous, however. Everyone but Tarragon now completes their long rest. She retires, and Melaina and Carl roll Perception.

Carl is on fire tonight; a 17. He makes an Intelligence check - a 9. That’s actually not bad. After about 3 hours he becomes agitated and tries to say something, but can’t. Melaina’s nostrils are assailed with a foul stench; she looks to the water to see something breaking the surface of it. Which means that whatever it is doesn’t get a surprise round…

Melaina and Carl roll initiative. Carl has used all his good rolls on Perceiving. But he’s ready for anything; he’s got his stick.

Whatever is crawling out of the water looks like a troll, but dripping with horrible ichorous black ooze and smelling like a busy harbour at low tide.

Matthew, OOC: “They smell like a bonfire of nappies. No - a burning zoo.”

Melaina hides behind some mushrooms; triggering Kessler’s Alarm spell as she leaves the area (because Kessler didn’t specify otherwise). We all wake, and can roll Initiative next round. Melaina takes aim with her longbow. 19 to hit with Sharpshooter, which does. She gets a nat 1 for her Sneak/Sharpshooter which is only a measly 25 total, plus her bow’s damage of 9 for 34. The thing lets out a howl, which would have woken us if the Alarm spell hadn’t.

It approaches us. It’s wearing a loincloth; small mercies.

Everyone but Ardvack and Melaina makes CON saves as the troll runs a filthy claw down its own forearm for a venom spray attack. Gideon and Tarragon take 18 poison damage and are poisoned. The others take half damage and are not poisoned. Now it does its multi-attack.

It has a bite at Tarragon but misses, then a claw at Kessler and misses. Then it claws at Gideon, and misses again. Ha!

Another one shambles up, but doesn’t attack yet. It’s Carl’s turn; he uses his zombie agility to run up to one of the trolls and give it a good old Slam - “Classic Slam - ” and uses his Zombie Grab to try and grapple it. They make contested STR checks - Carl wins even with a 14. The bad news is that part of the troll’s corpulence is ruptured, emitting a black foul ichor into the air - Tarragon and Kessler take more damage as it, however unintentionally, does an Acid Splash.

“… Thanks Carl.”

Melaina goes first. She goes to move but takes 15 Force damage from the towers. What??? Sophie OOC, to Matthew: “Honey, I’m being shot by the nasty tower.” She was just inside its range. She shoots one of the trolls. She hits, and causes another Acid Splash. Tarragon has just woken up from a Long Rest, and is now under half HP. Melaina does do 34 damage to the troll though.

Gideon, with advice from Matthew, casts Grease under the troll that Carl is *not* grappling. This seems a classic ‘Grease’ situation. It rolls a DEX save, and fails, falling prone.

Tarragon casts Lesser Restoration on herself, ending the Poisoned effect, Rages, and steps out of range of the Venom spray.

Ahleqs screams the incantation for Mage Armour, and steps back also. Kessler’s turn, and she will risk stepping back. One is restrained and the other prone, so no attack of Opportunity. She takes out her crossbow and shoots at the one grappled by Carl. 20 hits for 11 piercing damage. “And I will shoot that sucker again.” 17 also hits for 7 damage. She drinks one of her potions; wise.

Carl takes 18 poison from Kessler’s attacks on the troll, but he’s immune to poison. Carl has the Grappler feat, so even though the troll is a size larger than him it doesn’t get Advantage on the Strength check to free itself. They roll straight Strength checks - Carl rolls a ten, and the troll rolls a 6, even with a plus four modifier.

The prone one uses half its movement to stand up and moves forward, biting at Kessler - 26 to hit. It actually hits her! Even Shield won’t do it! She takes 6 piercing and 6 poison damage, and is poisoned until the start of the troll’s next turn.

It claws twice at Tarragon; “Bring it.”

24 hits, the ten doesn’t. Ten slashing (halved to 5) and 6 poison (not halved). She’s at 19HP now, and hasn't even attacked yet.

Ardvack wakes up to see the trolls attacking. “Ah. It must be Wednesday.” Matthew, OOC: “Im going to do… something… stupid. Or… brilliant.” Seeing the damage Tarragon and Kessler have taken, he heals Tarragon for 11HP. She blinks with surprise, and he backs up.

We call it there as it's getting late...

[ashdoesfandomarchieved]

Hey!! Could you write something shippy about Boimler and Mariner? What if Boimler regularly spent time in the holodeck acting out certain scenarios and situations with Mariner? 👀

A/N: This was way angstier than I meant it to be. And way less sexier. I apologize in advance.

ao3

She glares at him, mouth pressed into a thin line. “What happened to having each other’s backs? I put my ass on the line for you. Repeatedly.”

He winces. This conversation is not going how he’d planned. “Mariner, I-”

Mariner clenches her fists and straightens. “No, you don’t get to say anything after what you pulled. Fuck you.”

The image freezes and Boimler resets the simulation.

What seems like years ago, he remembers lecturing Tendi overusing the Holodecks for fun. The details are fuzzy. It was before the “GUYS I MADE US INTO A MOVIE'' incident with Mariner, but after that weirdass thing with Rutherford and his rogue program. He thinks she and Mariner had been using it to watch Ransom in an array of—what he now admits-hysterical situations—but can’t be sure.

She and Mariner have gotten up to so much shit, he can’t keep track.

He doesn’t know why he’s remembering it now. It was a random conversation that happened a long time ago—a few months after Tendi was assigned to the Cerritos? –so there’s no reason why he should be thinking about it right now.

Liar, a smug voice intones in his head. It sounds vaguely like Mariner. Boimler aggressively shoves it down.

This isn’t for fun, he anxiously tells the voice in his head. The voice is quiet. It does nothing to soothe the turning of his stomach.

It’s been three months since Boimler requested a transfer back to the Cerritos. Three months since he’d run into Rutherford and Tendi on shore leave and the three of them got swept up into a ridiculous, interplanetary civil war that took three different starship crews to settle out. Three months since he’d almost died more times than he can count on all his fingers and toes, three months since he thought Tendi had died, miles away from her home, on a world which would never remember her name, three months since Mariner swept in and fixed everything.

It’s been three months.

Not that he’s counting.

Somewhere between being in a remote alien prison with Tendi and hiking for a month in a perpetually dark wilderness with Rutherford, Boimler had come to the belated conclusion that his career didn’t take precedence over his friends.

(Also, if he’s being completely honest, he missed the chaos of being a lower deck ensign. Not that he still doesn’t want to be in the upper ranks. Just not without his dumb, dumb friends.)

After it was all over—and he’d realized that Tendi was alive—he put in his transfer request, surprising all his peers.

“This just isn’t a good fit for me,” was his official statement.

Captain Riker gave him a bland look. “You worked with Beckett, didn’t you.” His voice was flat, but his eyes were amused.

“Is it that obvious?”

“She rubs off on people. Don’t let her give you a hard time,” he added, signing off on the request. “It was nice working with you, Boimler. If you ever need anything, let me know.”

And so here he is, a newly minted ensign again, on the lower decks of the Cerritos.

(Captain Freeman is thrilled. “All operations have been down by 18% since you left. Good to have you back, Boimler.”)

Tendi and Rutherford seem hyped to have him back-Tendi especially, who’s been a little clingy with everyone since her near-death experience-but are acting uncharacteristically nervous around him. This isn’t a surprise. The tension between him and Mariner when she’d shown up on Roxadt II was insane and was only getting worse with every day. It’s been six weeks since he’d transferred, and she’s found a reason to be in a different room for all six of them.

Hence the simulations.

That makes absolutely no fucking sense, the Mariner-esque voice in his head sneers. Just talk to her you fucking wimp.

Boimler ignores it.

“Scenario A-187,” the clinical voice of the simulation intones. The simulation restarts.

It goes exactly the same way 186 other scenarios had gone. He corners Mariner. She stays quiet. He apologizes. She explodes.

Mariner’s anger had always burnt red hot. He’d first experienced it when an ensign got a little frisky with Tendi after she’d repeatedly told him no. Mariner’s fury at the situation felt justified. Vindicated. The ensign had been demoted so hard, Boimler was certain they’d seen the last of him for like. Well, forever.  At the time he’d been astonished that she’d managed to pull it off, but after finding out about her familial connection to the Captain, it made sense.

He’d seen a glimpse of that anger a few more times—when Captain Freeman had forced her to go to therapy, after Rutherford had been captured by rogue Klingons, that one-time Ransom tried to promote her.  But never toward Boimler.

Oh, she’d get irritated with him.  “Loosen up, Boimler, it’s not that bad.”

“Look, the worst that’ll happen is that we get a note to file-stop yelling!”

“Dude if you don’t chill the fuck out I might actually throw you out of an airlock.”

Standard Mariner reactions, right? Yeah, she’d been pretty pissed when he took the promotion (his voicemail had been blowing up for the first 48 hours after he transferred), but it had died down fairly quickly so he had logically assumed that she had gotten over it.

He assumed wrong. If her icing him out was to be taken into account. So here he was, six weeks in, desperate and stressed from his friend’s apparent dismissal. The obvious solution, his sleep deprived brain decided, was to simulate a conversation with her using his high-tech program on the holodeck.

This may have not been the best idea. But he’s calculated the probability of anything going wrong and it’s under 3%, so he’s almost guaranteed success.

(So, of course, it blows up in his face, in true Boimler fashion.)

“Okay, I have a pretty high threshold for weird, but this might take the cake,” a voice slowly says.

Boimler startles. Whirls around. Shuts down the simulation. “Ohhh shit-”

“Yeah shit,” Mariner says, stalking into the room. “What the hell, dude?”

“This isn’t what it looks like!” Boimler sputters out, panicked. The simulation is shut down, leaving them in the empty holodeck room, but the echoes of Holo-Mariner’s rage still resonate between them. Actual Mariner is staring at him, face somewhere between completely shocked and furious.

“Did you use your dumbass hyper realistic program to simulate a situation with me so that you could cheat later?”

“I mean, kinda?”

“Then it’s exactly what it looks like!” Mariner slaps a palm over her eyes.

“Well what was I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know—maybe talk to me like a person? Not use your creepy, hyper realistic simulations to roleplay it?” She drops her hand and glares up at him.  

Boimler rolls his eyes. “You literally created a simulation to kill the entire crew because your mom made you go to therapy.”

“Yeah and it fucking worked.”

“Then why are you yelling at me?!”

“I’m not!”  she shrieks. “I’m very calmly telling you to fucking talk to me next time!”

“There’s not going to be a next time!”

Mariner stops, mouth open. “What?”

“Look, I get it. I fucked up and you apparently don’t do second chances! I was trying to make things right but clearly it isn’t working. I’ll stay out of your way now.”

Instead of pacifying her, this seems to make Mariner even more furious. “You fucking asshole. what am I supposed to say to that?” she shouts, stomping up to him.

He groans in exasperation. “Apparently nothing, considering you don’t want to talk to me!”

Her hands grab his collar, pulling him down to eye level with her. “I literally just said to talk to me next time!”

“And how was I supposed to do that if you’re avoiding me?”

“You’re the one who fucked off in the Titan to god-knows-where,” Mariner grits out.

So they’re actually doing this. Boimler swallows hard. Takes a breath. Tries to quell the anxiety welling in his gut. “I’m sorry.”

“Right after you said you didn’t care about rank or shit,” she adds, twisting the knife.

“Yeah. It was really shitty of me.”

“And then you ghosted me for like six months.”

Boimler winced. “Yeah—I. Yeah.”

Mariner’s iron grip on his shirt loosens, but she doesn’t let go completely. “That was really shitty of you.”

Not sure what to say, beyond apologizing again, Boimler gives a jerky nod.

“You came back.” She stares at him, eyes unfathomable. “The Titan wasn’t everything you dreamed it would be.”

It’s not a question.

Boimler still has an answer, though. “It was.”

She stiffens. He pushes forward, intent on getting this out while he still has her attention. “It was everything I wanted in a career. I was doing what I wanted, everyone took me seriously. Our missions came straight from the Admiralty and they treated us like we weren’t a joke. I loved it.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I care more about my friends then I do about people taking me seriously.”

Mariner freezes and then lets out a strangled laugh. “Now I think you’re the simulation. Who are you and what have you done with Boimler?” She pokes at his cheek.

He grins. And then falters. “For what it’s worth—and I know it’s not worth much—but. I am sorry. I wasn’t a very good friend.”

“Yeah you weren’t.” She lets go of her grip on his shirt completely and draws back. “You said you were my best friend and then you left. For Riker.”

“That makes me sound like the love interest in a cheesy drama. And like I’m hooking up with Riker.”

“I said what I said.”

Boimler laughs. It feels real for the first time in a long while. “Are we good?”

“No.” Mariner smiles. “I’m going to give you so much shit and you’re gonna grovel for like months and then I’m going to tell my mom that you used to holodeck to simulate certain situations with me.”

“If you do that I’m transferring back,” Boimler tells her. “Your mom finally likes me; I don’t need her ejecting me out of an airlock.”

“She wouldn’t do that.” Mariner waves him off.

“She totally would.”

“Yeah, she totally would,” she agrees. Grabs his arm and begins dragging him out of the holodeck. “So maybe I won’t tell her. I am telling Tendi though and she’s gonna give you so much shit considering you reemed her out over misusing the holodeck.”

Boimler makes a face. “I’ll probably let her too. I’m such a hypocrite.”

“You are, but it’s super weird to hear you be honest about it. Stop being all apologetic, it’s weird.”

They’ve reached the corridor. Mariner steers them in the direction of the bar. “Only if you promise to deck me if I ever make a dumb decision like that again,” he says, giving in and allowing himself to be manhandled. It’s the least he owes her.

“Deal. And the next time you use your weird, hyper realistic simulator—which doesn’t even fucking work by the way, I’m not that much of a bitch—you gotta promise you’ll use it for sexy reason only.”

“Sexy reasons only,” Boimler deadpans. “You know they log everything we do down there.”

Mariner wiggles her eyebrows up and down. “I know.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“And you’re uptight, but you’re the one who was playing with simulations of me.”

“That sounds way worse than it actually is,” he cringes.

“No, it doesn’t. I would take some sexy action over your sad, sad trauma simulations any day. Next time I catch you, you’d better be having fun with it.”

“Mariner, what the fuck—”

They dissolve into good natured bickering. She says something lewd and he rolls his eyes and elbows her and she squawks in protest and threatens to get him thrown in the brig. It’s normal, but it’s also not. There’s something new in the air between them that wasn’t there before. Tension, but not negative. It’s charged with. Something else.

Boimler doesn’t examine it too closely. Better to let it work itself out naturally. After all, he has all the time in the world now.

[anaisonfire]

2, 3, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 14, 19, 24, 31 for the cyberpunk asks

HA u didn’t specify who so i get to answer some of these twice! (thank you bb 💖)

2. 3 facts about your V/OC?

Vegas: his favorite color is yellow (see: vest, car, guitar), he’s a rockerboy turned permanent mercenary (was lead guitarist in City of Death [name pending changes], but there was Drama™ and he skipped town to Atlanta), his hatred for corps comes from the fact his mom died when she was fired from her job (and this is also why he has some sympathy for corpos; not a lot tho)

Vincent: met jackie when he was an older teenager, went to work for arasaka when he was 19 (jackie called him an idiot), slept with jenkins a couple years after that to get high up the ladder faster (he’s 31/32 when the game begins, so he was in counterintel for about ten-ish years)

3. In what ways do you see yourself in your V/OC?

oh this is a hard one haha

...can i say the lowkey narcissism or is that too dramatic 😂😂

tbh i’m not quite sure, but i guess one thing that i super vibe with (and is the reason i’m so into johnny & kerry as opposed to the other LIs/characters) that i keep making all my OCs have (unless i deliberately Don’t) is their drive for acknowledgement? like, it manifests as an I’m Gonna Be The King Of This City Or So Help Me God thing, but it’s ultimately a cry to Be Seen and Recognized for what you are (and what you are is awesome).

7. How many times have you either completed or restarted the game?

i’ve completed it  *drumroll please* ZERO TIMES 😂😂😂 for real, i’m horrible about finishing things

as for restarting... let’s see... currently have 7 Vs, vincent’s on his 3rd version, plus my first ever game that didn’t get farther than dex... add about 5 Vs that i stared but never got anywhere with and deleted for reasons.... makes it about 15 times, so, yeah something around there! :D

8. If you could have anyone as a companion in 2077, who would it be?

Besides Johnny? :D

i think it’d be pretty cool to have either kerry or panam going around town with you

11. Are there any characters you genuinely can’t stand? Why?

Not really. There’s a couple of things I dislike about some character stories (River, my dear... I’m so sorry CDPR are cowards and did you dirty like this) but on the whole I like all characters.

Even with 'villains’, like Smasher or Saburo, they’re there more for plot than as actual characters so I’m indifferent to them.

12. Favourite location in Night City?

There’s this really cool statue in the market in Kabuki (I think? The place with the glass ceiling)

Here’s a pic I took of it a while back.

Also in general any place where you can see the the lights of the city

13. Favourite type of vehicle?

I like both various cars and bikes, hah. Mostly I tend to go with whatever fits the V, but I admit I’m partial to the Yaiba Kusanagi as well as the Herrera Outlaw (handling AND looks) and the Caliburn (cool factor).

14. Favourite weapon?

Archangel! Johnny’s gun! Uhhh what other are there 😂 oh yeah, and Overwatch! Love that gun, it’s so OP 👌😂

19. What’s a mission or side gig you hated?

Oh jeez what do I hate - I think the Welcome to America, Comrade gig is the one I was most frustrated when I did it the first time. I had to reload so. many. times!

From the main story, I caNNOT deal with the braindance tutorial - I love Judy, but we really need a ‘skip tutorial’ option there @ Cdpr

24. Who’s a character you wish you could’ve saved or seen more of?

KERRY, Alt, Thompson, Santiago, I wanted more of Rogue’s story and what she’s been doing these 50 years besides being a badass (there were implications being made on the Ebunike okay, TELL ME)

(I think we’ll get more backstory, from Johnny’s point of view maybe, at some point, so I’m willing to wait. But I want details ok)

Also I am 1000% sure there was supposed to be another quest after I Fought The Law that in any way, shape or form dealt with the fact that River’s partner covered up the mayor’s murder. I choose to believe they ran out of time so that’s why we only had that one line about it when you talk to River after his questline is over. (If I’m wrong: CDPR are cowards. Follow through on the storyline you made dammit)

KERRY AGAIN sorry but you CANNOT introduce a 50-years-and-still-going-strong, God of Rock type of character and NOT give us a concert. An album. MORE MUSIC IS WHAT I’M SAYING let Kerry and V live the bodyguard AU lmao

31. What’s a mod you’d like to see (even to be funny)?

Hmmmm I’m really not sure actually 🤔 There’ve been a lot of really cool mods and most of the time I tend to go ‘ohhhh here’s a thing I didn’t know I needed in my life’ 😂 (case in point: Johnny with earrings, changing the decor of V’s apartment, swapping V with NPCs, etc)

Thank you so much for the ask!! Also I’m always down to ramble about my Vs, either on here or on @the-major-leagues so feel free to send asks @ everyone!! 💖

[macgyvertape]

50 or so hours into Cyberpunk 2077

This should be roughly the correct amount of time, ive been leaving the game running as I get up to get food or do stretches. Quests are roughly in order I did them

non spoilers above cut:

 i haven't found a single hat/helmet i like, and since you can't hide them I just am not wearing any. It matters that much.

I posted the other day about bugs, every few hours I play I find new bugs. some require me to go back and reload a save others I honestly can’t tell if it’s a bug or just really poor development

there are several perks that don’t quite do what the description says, like the Anamesis perk. Based on reddit and trying it out it seems to just not do anything.

sometimes in car chase segments the passenger will say “look out” as cars spawn in my path and hit me. Can’t tell if that was deliberate or a pop in issue

Yeah I’ve just totally given up on doing pacifist things unless required by a mission. Given up on doing stealth too unless a mission objective, except for sneaking around to set up a fight.

:readmore:

the delemain car quest is fun. From the shock of the one going "beep beep motherfucker" and doing a hit and run to start it off, to the GLADOS car i see a lot of people talking about. It was fun to explore the city when i might have missed places like the landfill apparently there is follow up on T-bug's death if you go back to the quick hack shop in Kabuki. It's not much but better than nothing I made the pass with Panam of "what if the room just had one bed". I know she won't do a wlw romance, which is fine since I wouldn’t have chosen her.  I enjoy her as a character, don’t get me wrong, my V considers her as a friend, but it seems like theres always drama going on which would be tiring. I would have gone for a fling, i like her leotard-pants combo with all the straps

but also her questline was buggy as hell. Multiple cases of having to reload due to clipping into objects, including her in a driving section, or just insta-dying when collision physics with some rocks broke "your neural network can no longer function independantly of the chip" me slapping my desk: s y m b i o te!!! come on lets have some s y m b i o s i s

in the scene with hellman i really liked how Johnny moved around the room. It made him feel like he was really there. it was hard to follow the convo as I left the room, i would not have understood it without subtitles. But i guess Takemura fucking waterboarded hellman. :|

lol I hope the dialogue is different b/c i refuse to smoke for Johnny

i am level 18 and still can't beat the first opponents in the fist fighting quest. ffs

I looked up the romances options so I went to do the I fought the law quest as soon as i got it. ACAB, but like I literally just met River Ward 2 minutes ago, and I really like him. His earring and cyborg eye, his big fluffy coat. I'm definitely gonna sleep with him Ok i like how when River Ward is dealing with the tiger claws if you interject it leads to a fight. It goes better if you follow his instructions and let him deal with it. Seriously I enjoy that sometimes its good to not pick a dialogue choice.

during the red queen club part, there was no dialogue over the phone. So i reloaded a save and got myself spotted and attacked. Then River showed up to help me <3 and it was more enjoyable having him there. I honestly am not sure if him not going to the club level is bug or not.

then uuuuuugh the worst of irl police "cops are my family" from Detective Han. Again ACAB "FRATERNITY OF CITY COPS RESEMBLES A [Nomad] CLAN NOT AT ALL" ok a few minutes ago i was complaining about bugs, but the character modeling in this game is good (when they're there). You can see body posture, characters jiggle their legs when they are nervous. Like I though character A was just throwing a cigarette on the ground, but then character B flinches back; I realize Char A threw it at B as a fuck you

I'm honestly curious if "I fought the Law" quest will have any impact later on. My choices were that I thought there was more going on than Holt being the only person behind this (based on how complicated the main questline heist is, and keeping an eye on some of the in game news), and told him not to take it to internal affairs, and I loved his response of how he doesn't give a shit what we think, he's doing it anyway.

In the elevator to report in, Johnny said "this muck is deeper than you think, tell them nothing", so i just said that the case was complicated. anyway i love how much of a sarcastic asshole V is

I thought i was being nonlethal with the monk quest, but it seems i accidently killed someone. RIP, but thats kind of the problem with this game. Like when i do the non lethal cyberpychosis quests I equip my non lethal modded gun and hope for the est. I like how a go here kill things quest led to Charles the ripperdoc. He's getting all his parts from scav gang members so I felt obligated to take him out. I got a police bounty for it but w/e.

I merged the Delemain fragments with the whole. Guess he's the meta now. (Side note: some of my favorite rvb fanfic plots are Ai consiousness/memory merging with the humans, so I’m having fun with this game and look foward to introspective fanfic)

Honestly Jonny made some good points, the fragments didn't deserve to die; but also destroying the core and freeing the fragments, they couldn't really function alone.

I was able to rescue Saul fine with stealth. Using cameras and the synapse overload really made it easy.  Can't use the sniper rifle reward b/c I don't have the stats for it, and while it has a silencer the fact that it's a ricochette weapon and not a shoot through walls weapons, makes it not as good imo; and theres a legendary one that is stats free for only 100k.

Lol made a pass again at Panam, and she immediately shut me down. I then did Mitch's quest and I love every time someone tells V they area  good person.

I hacked the operation carpe noctem shard, and wow the corporations are using ai to make people have cyberpsychosis, or something like that. What a shocker /s, I've played Deus Ex HR before

lol driving through the unifinished interstate, past the fight from Panam's first quest I found a "batcave" with a very nice car, and a manifesto written by "muckman'. But here's my complaint about the loot, there is a legendary top, but it had 16 armor. My current top has 84 armor, like why would i switch?? then later i found a bunker with soviet spies in it. Wild

Doing River's second quest, love the timing of as soon as you ask, why are we breaking in, someone shows up to tell you he got kicked off the force. It's funny how Johnny comments how maybe River's into you, and V just doubts Johnny's words. Love how the first kid asks River if I'm his girlfriend. also wow like oof both the second parts of Judy and River's quest are SUPER fucked UP!! oof like i stopped doing first person mode on the braindances for those quests as soon as i could, just made me too uncomfortable seeing that in first person.

DRIVING IN THE GAME IS BAD! nowhere is it more apparent than the sinnerman quest, which took me 3 times to get the driving section done, as cars spawned out of nowhere to hit me. Then when you restart, there is a bunch of dialogue it doesn't let you fast forward through. The rest of the Sinnerman questline is interesting. My V took every option to tell the dude that he was messed up, and what he was doing was wrong. idk, I was surprised how much dialogue there was that let you buy into his whole "forgiveness thing" and how there wasn't any real dialogue to call him the fuck out, that in seeking forgiveness he continues to do harm both emotional to the mother of the man he killed, but also that he got the husband killed via cop. The later follow up quest, I told him that what he is doing is crazy, studio is just going to profit off this vid. Then I refused to join him prayer, and told him fuck no i wasn't going to hammer him to the cross, or even watch. Yes, the man is scared of dying, and the corporation is exploiting him, but he keeps creating burdens for others.  I think the discussion on this quest will be interesting to read, it's definitely my own personal experience with religion coloring my view. Anyway back to a main quest, yeah i don't trust Placide, especially in that scene where he grabs my hand, then jacks in. I ran off to do most of the sidequests here and got some criticism from him. I do love how in the cinema the western movie switches to a mission brief as the netwatch agent talks. its a fun enviromental detail.  I took the netwatch offer, i don't think he's being fully honest with me, but he didn't put a virus in my head. As I told Placide later, I didn't pick a side. I like how you can then talk with the agent, who is a fan of Western movies, b/c they show "a simpler time where all good guys carry badges" :eyeroll:, and then V recommends Unforgiven, which from the wiki summary goes against that theme.

Looks like the Voodoo boys all got killed by Netwatch, but I as revenge for them trying to set me up I'm fine with it. Honestly after speaking with ai!Alt I don’t believe their plan of trying to be on good relations with AI would work. 

doing the johnny flashback 2, and wow Johnny really is an asshole. Like I had gotten so used to him in side missions I forgot how self centered and unlikable he was.You constantly get prompts to drink or do drugs, which I ignored. But i do love the goth/punk love Rogue and others have.

lol i called it, when Hellman said that the engram would seek to override the host, put V on the engram. I really like how as the relic malfunctions, you wind up in the chair with a cigarette, which you can either smoke and say you are turning into Johnny or throw away. My dialogue "your problem is the ends justify the means", which is true!!! He and Rogue detonated a nuke downtown, does anyone know that, and like ask Rogue about it????

(Funny you can ask Rouge about Johnny silverhand, over the phone, then the game bugs out and spawns her npc where you are. She doens't say much about the nuke, but she does say no one trusts you for jobs). The line of no one trusting you for jobs is pretty funny at level 46 street cred where im at “respected” status. really loving the family atmosphere at River's 3rd quest. Also his big strong arms, and the fact he is no longer a cop. I totally let the kids win, and wow the family dinner where they GRILL YOU over the relationship and try to set the two of you up, then the water tower scene!!!!! I don't love the first person sex cutscenes but they do have personality. I'm glad afterwards you got to tell River about the biochip and that you might die. Because he's so far removed from your personal plot. So I took that option to back out of a relationship.

I do love that you wake up with "river's tanktop" that says "fuck the police" It actually has extremely good armor stats, so thats what I'll wear now.

panam 3rd quest, when shes like why did you help me, I'm like "because it's important to you". Basically the closest you can get to "when a friend asks for help you help them", which as an ex-nomad backstory I really choose the nomad options when ever i can Paralezes quest part 2! I love the piano song but I always think of it as ocean's 11 music. It's also fun to see the computer and see Judy recommended you for the first quest. The emails talk about "forgetting" to hire a staffer, on the balocony a strange antennia was scannable, the color of the roses was remembered wrong...  lol guess i was right with those giant wall screens. Its fun environmental details that spell things out before you can notice, and it ties into some other quests where people's behavior is being altered. Actually, this quest "Dream On" I love it! For a while I've been like "wheres the illuminati conspiracy! Here it IS! I chose to follow Elisabeth's wishes and not tell her husband he was being brainwashed. In best case they program him to forget again, in worst case he ends up dead. The gaslighting Elisabeth described is CHILLING, her husband describes a vacation she can't remember and she doesn't know whose memories have been messed with. On your way to the plaza you get a call from someone/something that says the know exactly WHAT you are, any you black out!!! It's such a great feeling of helplessness that you're just one person in a world so big that you can't fight every power. As Johnny said, could be a corporation, could be a rogue ai, either way Jefferson is fucked (and so are you).

[hunter-the-sad-skeleton]

Finished Chapter One! Putting It Under Read More Because It’s Like, 21 Pages In Google Docs.(Reblogs And Opinions Appreciated!)Taglist: @bccfggffbgv, @new-account-sam-christy-456, Hope Ya Don’t Mind The Tags-Feel Free To Ask To Be Added Or Removed From The Taglist!

Chapter 1: “Into the Inkwell!”

“Today, another batch of Ink was stolen, alongside machine parts. We have no clue who’s committing the thefts, but we’re constantly on the lookout for any clues or suspects.” The TV broadcast.

“Ink and Machine part theft? Why those specific items?” Dipper hummed, confused.

“Maybe it’s a rogue cartoonist out to get revenge on the world that scorned them! The world that decided that they were not worthy to press comics or cartoons to the world!” Mabel guessed.

“Or it could be that they’re creating a machine that relies on Ink for fuel.” Dipper suggested.

“Hey kids, whatcha watching?” Stan asked, leaning in.

“The news.” Dipper said, pointing at the current newscast on the television screen. Stan looked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yada yada, Ink stolen, yada yada, machine parts, yada yada….” Stan read. Stan froze as he read over the broadcast again. “Ink and Machine parts?! That sounds like…” Stan trailed off.

“Sounds like what, Grunkle Stan?” Dipper asked. Stan shook his head.

“Nothing, Dipper. Nothing at all. Just thought I had an idea is all.” Stan declined.

(Flashback.)

“Heya, Ford, can I get your opinion on somethin’?” Hunter asked nervously.

“What is it?” Ford asked, turning to look at Hunter, crouching down to look her in the eyes.

“We-Well, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I got a blueprint idea and I-I wanted your input if that’s okay with you…?” Hunter asked. Ford laughed, standing up.

“Of course! I’m glad you’re willing to give inventing a try!” Ford smiled. Hunter sheepishly handed the blueprints over, Ford reading them over, eyes narrowing as he read them.

“Hunter,” Ford started, tearing his eyes away from the paper. “Is this,” He said, pointing at the paper. “A machine that’s meant to use Ink as a power source?” Ford asked.

“We-Well, yeah, i-i-i-is that too weird…?” Hunter asked sheepishly, shifting where she was standing.

“Weird? Of course not!” Ford scolded. Hunter’s face heated up in embarrassment. “It’s inGENIOUS!!!!” Ford grinned. Hunter felt hope bubbling in her stomach. “But I’m already seeing one problem with the build here,” Ford said, unrolling the blueprints. “See, the way this is set up, it’s going to be expensive to use because of the sheer amount of Ink needed to power it, even if you just need a small print!” Ford explained.

“Y-Yeah, I tend to dream big…!” Hunter chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck nervously.

“Hunter, my dear, that is preCISELY the kind of dreaming that I encourage!” Ford grinned.

“I-I’m not interrupting anything important, a-am I?” Hunter asked. Ford shook his head.

“No, no, no! It’s PERFECTLY fine, Hunts!” Ford grinned.

“So how could I improve the build of this thing?” Hunter asked.

“Well, you could start by downsizing it a bit,” Ford started. “With the specific Ink you want to power this thing, it’d be outright UNaffordable if you kept it this size! Maybe make it the size of...oh...An average printer! That’d be an affordable amount of Ink AND it’d be a HUGE space saver!” Ford suggested. Hunter nodded, taking notes.

(Timeskip a few hours.)

“Oh! Sorry! I forgot to ask! What’re you planning to use this for?” Ford asked. Hunter winced quietly, sweating nervously. “Hunts?” Ford asked, worried at the reaction.

“I wanted to bring my cartoons to life…!” Hunter explained nervously.

“By printing them into a comic book! Hunter, you’re a genius!!” Ford exclaimed.

“I….I wasn’t being metaphorical, F-Fordsy….” Hunter frowned. Ford tilted his head, confused. “I-I...I meant LITERALLY…” Hunter grimaced.

“WHAT?!?” Ford gasped. “Hunter, you mean to tell me that your plans for this thing are to PLAY GOD?!?” Ford snapped.

“I-I know how that sounds, b-but-” Hunter started.

“No, don’t say ANYTHING MORE. I’ve helped you with this plan ENOUGH. I refuse to help someone who thinks that they can play God. The door is behind you.” Ford sneered.

“Fordsy, I-I-” Hunter started.

“DOOR.” Ford frowned.

“Ford, I-I-” Hunter restarted.

“DOOR, OUT, NOW.” Ford ordered.

“Ford, I’m sor-” Hunter started.

“GET OUT BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT, HUNTER!!!!” Ford yelled, pointing at the door. Hunter winced, picking her backpack and blueprints up and heading out the door before any more harm was done.

“Is everythin’ okay out here, Pines?” Fiddleford asked.

Ford sighed heavily. “Someone I knew that I THOUGHT was my friend was trying to use science for playing God.” Ford frowned. Ford shook his head. “Let’s get back to work on the portal. Where are we at for schematics, Fids?” Ford asked.

(Present day.)

“Grunkle Stan?” Dipper called. Stan shook himself out of it, coming back to reality.

“I’m fine, kids, what happened?” Stan asked.

“Ya just sorta...Spaced out a bit there, are you okay?” Mabel asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine, sweetheart! No need to worry!” Stan laughed. Mabel and Dipper looked at each other, swapping worried looks.

“Grunkle Stan, do you have any idea who the criminal could be?” Dipper asked. Stan froze. He could know, but he didn’t want to risk anything.

“No. I don’t.” Stan declined.

“Hmm…” Dipper hummed.

“Mystery twin investigation?” Mabel suggested.

“Mystery twin investigation.” Dipper nodded.

“Be careful, you two!! I gotta getcha home in one piece!!” Stan reminded as the two ran out.

Stan sighed, walking to his room and pulling out a photo with three smiling kids in it. “It couldn’t be you, right bud…?” Stan thought.

(Flashback)

“Heya, Stan, can uh...can we talk really quick…?” Hunter asked, pacing in place nervously.

“Yeah, sure, what’s on your mind, Tiny?” Stan asked.

“Well, I’ve been hopping around the states with ya for a while now, yeah..?” Hunter asked sheepishly.

“Yeah, is something wrong?” Stan asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Weell….” Hunter winced.

“Hunter, I’m pretty much your brother at this point, is something wrong?” Stan asked, knowing by now how to tell when Hunter was nervous.

“I…….I don’t know how to say this…” Hunter coughed.

“Tell it to me straight, Sister. I won’t get mad!” Stan assured.

Hunter’s eyes filled with hope. Finally! She could speak her mind without judgement! “Well, I got a letter from someone and I uh...It’s telling me to meet ‘em there, so uh…” Hunter stammered.

“Oh! Ya want me to take ya there?” Stan asked. Hunter’s stomach dropped. It called for just her.

“No! I mean, I wouldn’t object! I mean! Uh...Words are hard!” Hunter grimaced.

“It’s okay, Sis! Ya don’t know how to drive yet, so I’m sorta your taxi!” Stan grinned. “We can head out first thing in the morning tomorrow!” Stan beamed.

Hunter hesitantly nodded. She’d have to sneak out at night. Good thing Stan was a heavy sleeper.

(That night)

Hunter packed her stuff in her backpack, sneaking out and starting the trek to the assigned meetup spot. It’d take her about a week on foot while it’d take maybe a day by car, but she didn’t wanna risk anything. On foot was better. Less awkward.

(A week later at the meetup spot.)

Hunter knocked on the wood door. Maybe wearing shorts was a bad idea. How was she supposed to know it’d be cold there?! The door opened and Hunter stood with her shoulders squared, standing upright.

“Hunter, I’m glad you could make it. Are you alone?” Ford asked, looking around.

“Yeah, it’s just me, Ford.” Hunter assured. Ford sighed in relief, moving so Hunter could walk inside the shack.

“Sorry, I’m just...More careful now. Don’t want to risk anything.” Ford sighed.

“Dude, it’s...It’s okay. I get it.” Hunter assured.

“Well, let me show you what I called you here for.” Ford said, gesturing for Hunter to follow. Hunter followed behind him, holding her backpack tightly.

“What is this place…?” Hunter asked, looking around at all the gadgets and gizmos.

“This,” Ford said, hitting a light switch. “Is my laboratory where I keep all my experiments and inventions.” Ford said, sitting down at a desk.

“Whoa…” Hunter gasped.

“Speaking of experiments..” Ford started, making eye contact with Hunter that she didn’t dare break, for fear of death. “How’s...YOURS coming along?” Ford grimaced.

“Oh, that...It’s coming along okay, just need to fix the kinks and stuff! I sorta had one successful byproduct, but he sorta-” Hunter started.

“Wait, it WORKED?!?” Ford snapped.

“Yeah! It DID, for your information!” Hunter snapped back.

“How?!? That should be IMPOSSIBLE!” Ford groaned.

“I had a little outside help, Sixer!!” Hunter snapped, slamming her hands over her mouth afterwards, horror washing over her as she took note of Ford’s facial expression.

“No. no you did NOT just say what I THINK you just said! You did NOT JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU SAID!” Ford snapped.

“What?!? What do YOU think happened?!?” Hunter snapped.

“I THINK YOU MADE A DEAL WITH A DEMON!!!” Ford yelled.

“BILL WASN’T A HORRIBLE GUY!! HE UNDERSTOOD MY PLANS AND HELPED ME FIGURE IT OUT AND GET IT TO WORK!!!!” Hunter snapped.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU COME TO ME?!?” Ford demanded.

“BECAUSE I KNEW THAT YOU’D YELL AT ME!!!” Hunter yelled.

“WELL, IT HAPPENED ANYWAY!!” Ford bit back.

“AT LEAST WITH BILL, I HAD A FRIEND, OKAY?!?” Hunter snapped, temper slowly losing itself.

“Do NOT-” Ford started.

“NO, YOU GOT TO TALK, NOW IT IS MY TURN!!! I WENT TO BILL BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WOULD HELP ME!!! I DIDN’T WANT TO, BUT YOU LEFT ME NO CHOICE!!” Hunter snapped.

“BECAUSE IT’S WRON-” Ford started.

“IS IT WRONG TO WANT SOMEBODY TO HUG AND CUDDLE WITH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING SAD?!?” Hunter demanded.

“YOU HAVE STANLEY!” Ford objected.

“I DON’T WANNA INCONVENIENCE HIM WITH MY PROBLEMS!!” Hunter shouted.

“YOU’RE PROBABLY BLOWING THIS OUT OF PROPORTION!!” Ford snapped.

“I ALMOST WOULDN’T HAVE MADE IT IF THAT ONE BYPRODUCT DIDN’T SURVIVE, FORD!!!” Hunter snapped, last thread breaking.

“...what…?” Ford gasped.

“I was so convinced I was a failure that I planned that day if the trial run didn’t work, I’d just...I-I’d…” Hunter hiccupped.

“Hunter, I-I had no idea…!” Ford apologized.

“I-It stills hurts sometimes...” Hunter smiled sadly.

“Hunter, I’m sorry, I really had no idea-” Ford started.

“I...I gotta go...I have to go deal with some stuff.” Hunter said, getting up and hurrying to leave.

(Present day.)

“People who saw the suspect say that they wore a hoodie, but they couldn’t make much else out because it was dark…” Dipper hummed.

“Well, Robbie wears a hoodie!” Mabel suggested.

“...................Not him.” Dipper said.

“You’re right, too far fetched, Dipper.” Mabel nodded.

“Who else wears a hoodie…” Dipper hummed.

“I dunno, hoodies ARE popular here.” Mabel said.

“Yeah...That’s annoying…” Dipper sighed.

“Hmm….” Mabel hummed.

“Mabel, am I the only one who finds it weird how Stan just spaced out as he read the headlines on the news?” Dipper asked.

“It is a LITTLE suspicious...But I doubt he knows anything!” Mabel shrugged comically.

“Yeah...Maybe I can ask him later…” Dipper sighed.

“Oh! Someone new that we haven’t met yet!” Mabel gawked.

“Really?!” Dipper gasped, eyes wide.

“Yeah, look!” Mabel said, pointing at someone walking by the apartment block. “Let’s go say hi!” Mabel said, speeding off.

“Mabel, wait!” Dipper said, hurrying after her.

The person walked up to the door, grabbing their bag and key for the door. “Hiya!” Mabel greeted, making them jolt in surprise.

“Mabel, slow down!” Dipper said, catching up.

“Oh, uh, Hi…?” They greeted nervously.

“I’m Mabel! This is my brother, Dipper! We saw you walking by and wanted to say hi!” Mabel grinned. The person dripped nervously.

“Isn’t that lovely…?” They said sheepishly.

“Mabel, come on, we can’t just say hello to everyone…! I am so sorry about her, she gets excited when she sees a person she’s never met before.” Dipper apologized.

“O-Oh, no, i-i-it’s fine..!” They said.

“What’s your name, stranger?” Mabel asked. They dripped more in worry.

“Uh...H...Hunter.” Hunter said shyly.

“Hunter! That’s a nice name!” Mabel grinned.

“Mabel…!” Dipper urged.

“Whoops! Gotta go! If ya wanna see us, just go to the Mystery Shack just up the road and ask for Mabel and Dipper Pines!” Mabel said, waving goodbye and following Dipper. Hunter froze, hurrying inside with everything she had, closing and locking the door behind her as she got in.

“Pines...that can’t be coincidence…” Hunter muttered to herself, putting her bag down and going to grab a picture frame from a shelf. “Maybe...Maybe...Maybe not…” Hunter hummed.

(At the shack.)

“Grunkle Stan! We met someone new today!” Mabel announced.

“Yowza!!” Stan yelped, jumping slightly at the surprise yelling.

“Oops! Sorry, didn’t mean to spook ya!” Mabel grinned.

“Who’d ya meet?” Stan asked.

“Just someone named Hunter. They seemed shifty, couldn’t see their face since they had their hoodie hood up.” Dipper said.

“Hunter? Hoodie?” Stan repeated under his breath.

“Yeah, what about it?” Dipper asked.

“Nothing, nothing. Where’d ya meet em?” Stan asked.

(At Hunter’s apartment.)

Stan knocked on the door, waiting for someone to answer. After a few minutes, the door opened, Hunter answering.

“Yello?” Hunter asked.

“Hunter, is that you?” Stan asked.

“Wait...STANLEY? Stanley Pines?” Hunter asked.

“The one and only~!” Stan grinned.

“When I heard Mipper and Dabel-” Hunter started.

“Dipper and Mabel.” Stan corrected.

“I stan corrected. Dipper and Mabel said they were Pines family, I thought it was just a coincidence! I didn’t think you were ACTUALLY living here! Not after…” Hunter trailed off.

“Yeesh, don’t remind me…” Stan grimaced.

(Flashback.)

“Hunter, it’ll be okay, I promise! In and out, nothin more!” Stan assured.

“I dunno…” Hunter mumbled. Stan knocked, shrugging.

“WHO ARE YOU?!? HAVE YOU COME TO TAKE MY EYES?!?” Ford snapped, opening the door, crossbow at the ready. Hunter yelped, Stan getting in front of her in case Ford decided to open fire.

“....Well THAT’S a friendly welcome.” Stan said sarcastically.

“Stanley...Hunter.” Ford frowned. Ford put the crossbow away, moving aside. “Sorry I called you here unexpectedly, I just needed someone-” Ford started.

“AHEM.” Stan cleared his throat, gesturing towards Hunter.

“TWO someones to do something for me.” Ford corrected.

“What is it?” Stan asked.

“I’m about to show you something none of you will believe.” Ford said, opening the way to the basement.

“Ehhh, I’ve been around the world. I’m sure I’ll understand!” Stan smiled.

Ford took the two down to the basement to the portal. “I understand NOTHING about this.” Stan said.

“It’s an interdimensional portal that acts as a gateway to various alternate worlds. I created it to unlock the mysteries of the universe, but it can be used for TERRIBLE destruction. The way to activate it is located in the three journals I have written. The first one has already been hidden,” Ford started, walking over to a table and picking up two journals. “I am giving the last ones to you two, as I trust only you two with them.” Ford explained, handing them to Hunter and Stan.

“O-Okay…!” Hunter nodded.

“Wait, so what do we do with them?” Stan asked, confused.

“Stan, remember when we were kids and we wanted to go on a boat around the world?” Ford asked. Stan grinned expectantly. “I want you two to get on a boat, take these with you, and sail as far away as possible-to the ends of the earth-and BURY them.” Ford explained, Stan’s grin fading away as he finished.

“What?!? That’s it?!? You FINALLY wanna see me-US-after ten YEARS only to tell us to get as far away from you as POSSIBLE?!” Stan snapped.

“St-Stan, i-i-it’s okay, I-I’m okay with this…!” Hunter stammered.

“Nuh uh, no WAY, Tiny!! We haven’t seen each other in YEARS and he just wants me gone as soon as I see him again?!? I thought we were family!!” Stan snapped.

“Stanley, you don’t understand what I’m up against! What I’ve BEEN through!” Ford stressed.

“NO, YA DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT WE’VE BEEN THROUGH, SIXER!!! HUNTER AND I HAVE BEEN TO PRISON IN THREE DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, WE CAN’T STAY IN A SINGLE COUNTRY FOR MORE THAN TWO YEARS SO WE’RE CONSTANTLY ON THE MOVE, WE HAVE MORE FAKE IDS THAN IS PROBABLY HEALTHY, AND-OH YEAH-MY FAMILY HATES ME BECAUSE I’M A FAILURE, STANFORD!!! MEANWHILE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! LIVIN’ IT UP IN YOUR FANCY HOUSE IN THE WOODS, SELFISHLY HOARDING YOUR COLLEGE MONEY BECAUSE YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF!!” Stan snapped.

“I’M selfish? I’M SELFISH, Stanley?! How can you say that after costing me my DREAM SCHOOL?!” Ford snapped. “I’m giving you a chance to do the FIRST WORTHWHILE THING in your life, and you won’t even listen!!” Ford snapped. Hunter whimpered, trying to get in between the two.

“G-Guys, st-stop it…!” Hunter begged. Stan picked Hunter up, moving her out of the way and plopping her down on her butt. “Hey!!” Hunter peeped.

“WELL LISTEN TO THIS; YA WANT ME TO GET RID OF THIS BOOK?! FINE, I’LL GET RID OF IT RIGHT NOW!!” Stan said, pulling out a lighter and holding the journal over it.

“No! You don’t understand!!!” Ford yelped.

“YOU SAID YA WANTED ME TO HAVE IT, SO I’LL DO WHAT I WANT WITH IT!!!” Stan snapped.

“No, my research!!!” Ford panicked, tackling Stan, the two fighting over the journal, Stan tripping Ford and grabbing the journal, eventually running into the next room, hitting some machinery, and starting to activate the portal.

“G-Guys, please calm down!” Hunter objected.

“STAY OUT OF THIS, TINY!!! THIS IS JUST BETWEEN ME AND HIM!!!” Stan shouted.

“Stanley, give it back!” Ford snapped.

“IF YA WANT IT BACK, YOU’RE GONNA HAFTA TRY HARDER THAN THAT!!” Stan snapped.

“G-Guys, please…!!” Hunter begged.

“YA LEFT ME BEHIND, YOU JERK!!! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE US FOREVER, YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!” Stan snapped.

Hunter whimpered in worry, trying to figure out how to stop them fighting.

“You ruined your own life!!” Ford said, shoving Stanley back, pushing him into a piece of machinery, Stan yelling in pain as it burned his back.

“STAN!!!!” Hunter and Ford yelped in unison.

“Stanley, oh my gosh, I-I-I-I’m so sorry, a-are you alrigh-?” Ford asked, getting cut off by Stan punching him and knocking him back towards the portal, hitting the lever to finish activating the portal.

“Some brother YOU turned out to be…” Stan frowned, slowly walking towards Ford.

“Stan, calm down!! You’re hurt!!” Hunter begged.

“You care about your dumb mysteries more than your own family? WELL THEN YOU CAN HAVE ‘EM!!” Stan snapped, shoving the journal back into Ford’s arms, sending him floating off.

“No!!” Ford cried out, panic showing in his voice.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, what’s going on?” Stan asked, panic rising.

“Ford!!” Hunter yelped.

“Hey, hey, Stanford!!” Stan yelped, going after Ford.

“Stanley!! Stanley help me!!!” Ford yelped.

“Oh no-WHAT DO I DO?!” Stan asked in a panic.

“Stanley-DO SOMETHING!!” Ford panicked, tossing the journal back out. “STANLEY!!!-” Ford started, getting cut off as the portal closed as he was sucked in, room flooding with a bright light as it closed.

Stan slowly got up, rubbing his head as he registered what happened. “Stanford…?” Stan called, only getting the sound of a glasses frame hitting the stone cold ground in response. Stan was confused, shock hitting as he remembered, running up to the portal frame.

“STANFORD, COME BACK!! I-I-I DIDN’T MEAN IT!!” Stan said, smacking the frame in hopes of reactivating it. Stan ran over to the lever that activated it originally, pulling on it in an attempt to reactivate it. “I JUST GOT HIM BACK, I-I CAN’T LOSE HIM AGAIN!! COME ON!!!” Stan stammered. Stan stopped trying, looking back at the portal frame. “STANFORD!!!!” Stan called.

“He’s gone, Stanley.” Hunter said coldly.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! This is one of his pranks! He’s gonna come out any second now!” Stan said, chuckling nervously.

“This is STANFORD, Stanley. He doesn’t joke about mystery stuff.” Hunter said, voice flat as paper.

“Awww, come on, Hunty…! Ya don’t need to keep me in the dark, you two got m-” Stan started.

“THIS IS SERIOUS, STANLEY PINES!!!” Hunter snapped.

“Hunter, come on, I was just-” Stan started.

“YOU FOUGHT YOUR OWN BROTHER WHO LOVED YOU WITH EVERY FIBER OF HIS BEING AND SENT HIM TO WHO KNOWS WHERE, ALL FOR WHAT PURPOSE?!? OH YEAH, TO BE PETTY!!” Hunter snapped.

Stan frowned. “I didn’t mean to-” Stan started.

“AND YET IT HAPPENED ANYWAY!!” Hunter snapped, Stan looking at the floor. “HE REACHED OUT TO YOU, AND FOR WHAT? YOU TO BACKSTAB HIM FOR NO REASON?! YEAH, SOME BROTHER!” Hunter growled.

“At least I’M not being a big old bee with an itch about it!!!” Stan bit back.

“AT LEAST I’M NOT THE ONE WHO PROBABLY KILLED HIS OWN BROTHER!!!” Hunter snapped.

“YA KNOW WHAT?!? FINE!!! I ALMOST WISH ME AND FORD LEFT YA WITH THOSE PARENTS OF YOURS!!!! THEN MAYBE I WOULDN’T BE FEELING AS HORRIBLE RIGHT NOW!!!” Stan snapped.

“............Heh……….Just as I thought….Just when I thought you couldn’t stoop any lower….You fall down further….” Hunter laughed sadly.

“Hunter, wait, that didn’t come out righ-” Stant started.

“NO, IT’S FINE!!! I KNOW I’M WORTHLESS AND A FAILURE!! I KNOW I SHOULDA DIED LONG AGO!!! I KNOW I’M NOT WORTH A DARN!!” Hunter laughed sadly.

“Hunter, please-I-I-I’m sorry, I-I-I’ll make it up to ya-” Stan started.

“NO NEED, STANLEY!! YOU’RE FINE!!” Hunter snapped. “NOW, IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME,” Hunter said, picking up the second journal. “I HAVE A DUTY TO TEND TO.” Hunter scowled, making eye contact to make sure Stan knew how she felt, sending chills down his spine.

(Present day)

“I...never really saw ya after that…” Stan frowned.

“I think it was understandable why.” Hunter said.

“So…” Stan said.

“So….” Hunter trailed off.

“I’m….I’m sorry.” Stan apologized. Hunter perked up, confused.

“Sorry? For what?” Hunter asked.

“What I...said, that night, I had no place sayin’ those things, especially to you, someone I consider...Family.” Stan winced.

“Stan, I said stuff like that too, I had far LESS of a place to say those things, you REALLY didn’t mean to…!” Hunter peeped.

“Jeez, can a guy get sappy for five seconds?” Stan teased.

“I dunno, can a gal have a chance at having a normal life for five seconds?” Hunter teased back.

“Hey, uh, sorry if this sounds weird or anything, but uh, you never made any motions to shake hands, is everything like...Okay?” Stan asked. Hunter dripped nervously.

“Yep! Fine I’m!” Hunter lied.

“That was sad.” Stan said blankly.

“I….Well…” Hunter stammered.

“Ya sure you’re okay?” Stan asked. Hunter knew he should know, but she didn’t want to hurt him.

“I’m sure, your concern IS appreciated, though.” Hunter smiled.

“Well, before I head back to the Mystery Shack, one handshake, for old time’s sake?” Stan asked sheepishly. Hunter hesitated a moment before nodding, holding her hand out, Stan eagerly taking it for a handshake.

“Ew….Your hand feels a lot more...Goopy than usual.” Stan grimaced.

“Ya caught me baking.” Hunter lied.

“Ah! Baking! Good luck with that!” Stan waved. Hunter nodded, waving before closing the door.

As Stan walked home, he noticed the batter was black and almost Ink looking. He could ask about that some other day.

[sick-raven]

Ghosts of the Present - Chapter 9

Chapter 1 + warnings

AO3

Previous chapter

Chapter 9

The fire got his attention right away. Batman was on his usual patrol when he learnt the house is burning – normally he would leave this to firefighters, but the address was well known to him. That’s where Miranda Bradbury lived. She gave him few wrinkles these last two months. Since he helped her, she was like and uncontrollable force, killing people left and right either working with Crane or just being paid for it. It looked like someone got her back for it.

He arrived just in time to see a woman run away from flames. She stumbled, looked very wobbly and unstable. Batman jumped to the street – trail of mud was left behind her.

Clayface. Basil Karlo, sometimes Betty Karlo. What was she doing here?

“Betty, wait,” he called.

“Shit,” Betty replied and tried to fasten up. Her leg tore off and she fell face down with wet splat. “Shit,” she commented weakly.

“What happened here?”

***

“Witch, destroying everything! She will pay for it I tell you!” Edward Nygma angrily restarted his puzzles Banshee messed up with her entrance. He smashed codes into numeric pads and moved around giant chess pieces he prepared as a great war puzzle for Batman.

Sweating like a bull he pushed queen to her place. “Thinking she is better than me,” he huffed. The queen got stuck on something. He moaned in frustration and kicked the stupid thing.

Queen staggered and leaned on one side. “No!” If it falls, he will never pick it up again! Edward ran to the other side to catch the bloody thing.

“Nooo!”

It was heavier than it looked.

Batman found him pinned to the floor by giant chess piece repeating swear words alphabetically in several languages he didn’t even speak properly.

“I’m looking for Banshee.”

“Witch! That damn wench, I’ll get her!”

“I guess that means she was here.”

***

Staff of Arkham gave him empty looks. As if they were drugged and didn’t even see him. The League of assassins hired several Gotham rogues to do their bidding. That sounded too complicated for Ra’s al Ghul. He always hired people he knew won’t mess up their job. That can’t be said about Clayface or Riddler. Not even mentioning Killer Croc. Ra’s was playing dangerous game and as it looked it already went out of hand when Miranda got involved.

What was the point?

Batman took the elevator down and entered chaos.

Assassins were running around in panic shouting at each other, pointing to different locations, arguing. None of them paid attention to the new visitor. Batman has never seen these top-level killers so unfocused.

Among the people he noticed top hat running to the elevator. Mad Hatter screamed in high-pitched voice when he collided with Batman. Jervis fell on his butt, looked shocked, his chest rose and fell under frantic breathing.

“Bat!” he shouted. Then he caught his head, looked behind himself, then forced his stare to the ground and rattled his teeth. “What to do, what to do?”

“What’s going on here, Tetch?” Batman awoke him to reality.

Jervis clumsily stood up and dusted his butt. “Bandersnatch…” he started and gulped loudly. “Bandersnatch…” he started again taking desperate look to the tunnel he just ran out of. “What to do?” he whispered again.

“Focus.”

“Bandersnatch said you need to meet the head of demons,” Jervis said so fast, Batman almost didn’t recognize the words.

“Ra’s al Ghul is here? Where?”

One last look to the tunnel and Jervis danced to different path. “This way, Bat. Scary swordsman is waiting for you, we mustn’t be late.”

The crowds of soldiers were still running amok, but Batman has decided to follow the Hatter. The further they got the more focused assassins were. Finally, a sound of hammers and wall crumbling invited them into hall where Ra’s al Ghul stood, angry look on his face. He turned to Batman and any sign of annoyance disappeared.

“Ah, detective, welcome. I planned to greet you more properly, but as you can see, we have little… disruption. Nothing we cannot deal with.”

Batman didn’t let any confusion show on his face but didn’t know what to think. Clayface told him she was working for the League and they were supposed to catch Banshee. At first, he thought Miranda will need help, but it seemed more like she stumbled into something bigger by accident. And now she gave the same wrinkles to Ra’s.

“What are you planning?” asked Batman. Sound of crumbling wall almost buried his words.

Ra’s smiled. Batman didn’t mean the wrinkle metaphor literally, but it seemed like the Demon’s head will become the Demon’s grandpa soon. “I’ve come to prepare a place for you. To be the judge, to be the leader you were meant to be. I came to offer you the League!”

If Batman didn’t want to keep his face, he would cuss Ra’s out of the Gotham. “We’ve been over this. I will not join your cult full of killers.”

“No, not join. Lead!”

“That neither.”

With last hit whole wall crumbled and showed dark tunnel hidden behind it. “Finally,” Ra’s commented. “That will be the first gift to you as the new Demon’s head. Lazarus pit! Hidden all that time under your own city!”

“I had enough of your games, Ra’s. Leave my city!”

Ra’s sighed dramatically and shook his head. “I expected this result.” With a snap of his fingers two dozen soldier entered the room with the same blank expressions Arkham employees had. Two of them carried TV showing a mall in Narrows, full of people going about their day.

“You have two choices,” Ra’s said. “You kill me and take my place, or I will release the toxin to all those innocent people and order them to kill themselves like this.” He snapped his fingers again and one of the soldiers stabbed himself in heart. Batman couldn’t even react, it happened in light speed.

“You are sick, Ra’s!”

“They were supposed to be ordered by Mr. Clayface with my looks, but I am sure most of them are desperate enough to want to die without his voice or Mr. Tetch’s hypnosis. Narrows are such depressing place, most suicides in Gotham are from there, did you know? They will follow my orders.”

Jervis nervously laughed and rubbed his hands. “Gas,” he whispered. “Gas.”

Batman clenched his teeth.

“What’s it going to be then, detective? Strike me down. Kill me, take my place!”

“Gas,” mumbled Jervis eyes set on Batman. “Gas.”

Batman had experience that taught him to never trust his enemies. They were ruthless and crazy. They went to terrible lengths to get what hey wanted. But many of them had honour and tried to get better. He adored them for that and hated he couldn’t help, and they always slipped him and went back to causing harm. But he has seen how it looked when they tried to help and, in those instances, he knew trust in them will not be misplaced.

“Gas,” whispered Hatter again.

“Do your worst,” Batman decided.

That answer shocked Ra’s. His eyes widen. “I am not joking around. Those people will die, and their blood will be on your hands! One way or the other you will become killer, you will be one of us.”

“I am not bluffing.”

Ra’s face turned in anger. “Do it!” he ordered.

The screen showed the mall filling with white gas. Batman felt a stab of uncertainty. Maybe he shouldn’t have trusted the Hatter. Did he make mistake? Did he just kill…

The people waved their hands around to get rid of the smoke and laughed. Then laughed some more. No hysterics not like when you let Joker in chemical lab, but they obviously got very high and very happy.

“What is this?” Ra’s grinded his teeth.

“Bandersnatch fixed the formula,” Hatter grinned. “You do not harm friends.”

“You little!”

Batman attacked. Ra’s never got to Hatter. He had to protect himself. Strong fighter like him never had problem with it. But as he grew old, he grew weaker. And Batman was at his peak.

Ra’s al Ghul lost very soon.

And Batman will have to clean all this mess.

***

“I had to clean all your mess.”

Batman stood on roof of a small apartment complex in cheap part of town.

“They started it,” Miranda answered. Even after two days she looked tired. Her hand was patched, she had trouble moving and what was the worst, she was heartbroken as hell. When she didn’t wiggle in pain, she cried over lost property, lost books and Jonathan. This is not what she wanted when she got her feelings back.

“You killed many people.”

“Are you going to jail me?”

“Unfortunately, there is no evidence against you.”

“Yeah, I won’t tell everyone I can cut people with my mind. Oops.”

“I already know.”

“I figured. Why are you here? Just to teach me a lesson?”

“If the League is ever back in the city, you need to tell me, Miranda. I have my disputes with them. I must know.”

“You never gave me your number.”

“Just start the bat-signal.”

“What’s up with that thing anyways? Are you seriously looking up in the sky all the time? That’s tiring.”

Batman smirked. “Get better soon. Stay out of trouble.”

“Don’t count on it.”

He grappled away. Miranda stayed alone on the roof looking at stupid blimps flying overhead. Using ghosts exhausted her. Constantine warned her – every time she uses them, more of her life energy will drain. Count on them too much, bam, you are dead before you turn forty. That wasn’t her goal. She just wanted to be the one in control and she showed those bastards she can. A prison, a prisoner and now a warden.

Yet she felt empty.

And she hated that feeling.

***

Jonathan needed long sleep. He didn’t leave his bed for days. Even if police would threaten to take his door down, he wouldn’t bother getting up. The work for the League has left him mentally drained and what happened with Miranda has left him angered at world and mostly himself, for he is an idiot.

So, he slept, ate and slept some more. Only Jervis tried to call him to figure whether he was cut to pieces under Arkham.

“No, I am alive,” he said tired to the phone and turned it off when Jervis started crying loudly.

All that sleeping and eating allowed him to settle his thoughts. He put on long gloves and dug through them one at the time, awake, in dreams, asking himself hundred questions and properly answering even the most stupid ones.

“What did I do wrong?”

“You are insecure prick.”

“Elaborate.”

“You think everyone hates you, you cannot be loved and therefore you expected to be betrayed and you just waited for that gotcha moment.”

“Ah. Fuck off.”

“Next question.”

“How do I fix myself?”

How does he indeed? He tried in the past and the path of good locked forever and he threw the key to acid and then cemented over it. That didn’t stop him from improving himself for himself though, right?

Right.

He slept and ate and slept some more and days turned into week and then two. So, after two weeks he finally managed to get himself together. He shaved, brushed his hair and he looked like a human again and not a wreck. He also had all the answers and he was ready to put them to good use.

And if it doesn’t work, he won’t act like a little child. He promised that to himself every night.

Bound in nervousness, yet confident, he knocked on the door. A person opened and looked at him like a murderer just entered the hall.

“The fuck you want?” asked Terry needlessly. They folded their arms blocking his view inside.

“I want to talk to Miranda.”

“Let me thin- no. You are not talking to Miranda, you jerk. She had enough of you,” Terry stood their ground. “You can be on your merry way, bye.”

“Let me talk to her.” Jonathan didn’t plan to give up either.

“Or what? You will scaaare me?” chuckled Terry in mocking way. That will definitely go on the list of complaints.

“No,” Jonathan scoffed. “I will come again and again. Every day until she is the one who opens the door. So, save me and you the time and get her.”

Terry rolled their eyes and closed the door. Jonathan waited. It almost felt useless, but the door finally opened again and there she stood. Miranda looked at him with the same mixed feelings he felt inside. He wouldn’t back off now.

“Miss Bradbury, good afternoon,” he said thankful he is a jerk and can control his voice as if nothing ever happened. “You left this at our last appointment.”

He handed her The Martian Chronicles. It must have burnt with her flat and he didn’t manage to get the same print, but he figured it’s a good excuse.

“Ah. Thank you,” she said little awkwardly. “Did you like it?”

“Yes, it was thought inducing book.”

“I appreciate you brought it back, professor. I missed… it… dearly.” She didn’t smile, but she tried her damnest to look him in the eyes. He had similar problem.

“To be honest, it’s not the only reason I’ve come.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No. Now, I know it’s not really appropriate for a doctor to do this, so feel free to say no. I wanted to ask whether you would consider going out on a date with me?”

Miranda smiled a bit. “You are right, that’s not really good patient-doctor relationship.”

“I know. But I would love to talk outside office hours. And to get to know you better.”

“See, professor, I was in a bit of pickle not that long ago. Cost me four fingers. My temporary landlord won’t let me come home after ten.”

“I will ensure you are home on time,” he smiled. “Lunch tomorrow?”

“Okay. I will wait for you.”

She shifted a bit as if she wanted something, but only said silent goodbye and closed the door behind herself. Jonathan breathed out all the nervousness. Yes! It worked.

“SERIOUSLY?” he heard Terry shout and smiled.

Yes. Seriously.

[amusewithaview]

Certain Doom (DA Soulmate AU)

A/N: I am not even remotely sorry.

“So have you chosen a canon Inquisitor yet?”

Yes!  My first elf girl who romanced Cullen.

canon quiz?

“Whichever character you use to build the world state for your next game is the canon,” Lisbeth explained.  “Mine is an elf, too, and I romanced Cullen, too.  I’ll fight you for him, Ashley!”

u guys and your jocks i swear i only have the one playthrough and i’m romancing solas for the lols so idk my canon is unwritten undefined so we’ll see i guess?

We can share him, Liz.

Thunder rolled, rattling the windows and making Lisbeth jump.  “Oof!  It’s storming here so I might cut out,” she said apologetically.  “If that happens I’ll just restart the stream, no worries.”

Storming here too!  Ashley replied in the chat.

yeah same  Hayden agreed.  weird

“It’s not that weird.  Storms happen.  Speaking of, how should I upgrade Bethany, you guys?  Do I make her an ice mage, or...?”

One second, storm is picking up and I need to check my windows.

ICE ICE BABY

Back!  Is Force mage unlocked yet?  Been forever since I played DA2...

ICE ICE BABY!!!

OMG fine do ice or Hay will never let it go.

Let it gooooo, let it gooooo, can’t hold it back anymooooooore!

“Okay, ice it is,” Lizbeth said, smiling at her friends’ antics.

FUCK THAT WAS CLOSE SHIT SH

you ok Ash???

“Ash?”

o fuck ME

“Hay?” Lisbeth called, frowning at the chat log.  She waited a few seconds before calling their names again.  The number count on her stream hadn’t changed, so their systems were still logged on and watching her playthrough.  But... they weren’t answering.  The hairs on Lisbeth’s arms and the back of her neck stood on end all at once.  She shivered, looking to the windows where the constant flicker of lightning kept illuminating the driving rain.

It looked like the lightning was getting closer, maybe she should-

Her world dissolved into brilliant white.

Too late.

It took three blinks for Ashley to realize something was wrong.  That wasn’t her ceiling, this wasn’t her bed - what the hell?  She sat up and looked around.  To her left was a person, curled up with their back to her.  To her right, another person, curled up with their back to her.  She made out red hair to her left and dark brown to her right.  Ashley was the only conscious one, and while that remained true, she intended to find out as much as she could.

She stood up and dusted herself off, frowning when she realized that her clothes had been changed.  She’d been in pajamas, but now she wore a green coat over a simple gray tunic and pants.  There was a soft gray cloth wrapped loosely around her neck and when she felt behind her head she found a hood.  Hayden ran her fingers over her hair - wrapped in a complicated braid and significantly longer than she remembered it being - and froze when her fingers encountered delicate fleshy points.

Pointed ears.  Elf ears.  What?

“Oh.  Ow.”

Hayden turned and saw that the brunette was sitting up, one hand to her head.  Now that her hair had shifted, she could see that this person also had pointed ears.  “Hey...” Ashley said, awkwardly waving.

The brunette looked up, squinting and revealing large, luminous hazel eyes set in a delicately featured face that screamed Disney Princess™.  “Ashley?” she said, looking confused.  “You look...elfy.”

“Hayden?!”  Ashley dropped to her knees and immediately grabbed the smaller elf into a bear hug.  “Hate to break it to you, but you are also elfier than normal.  Wait, is there a normal amount of elfiness we should be shooting for?”

Hayden laughed and hugged her back.  “No clue.  Think that’s Lisbeth?”

They broke apart and turned to the last person, still unconscious on the ground.  “By process of elimination, probably?  But where are we, why are we elves, and what the hell happened?”

“Search me.”

There was a low groan from the third person, and then vicious grumbling in what Ashley recognized as German.  The body on the ground flopped over, revealing a thunderous expression made even more ominous by the thick brows overshadowing dark eyes that looked-

“Lisbeth?”

“Ja?  I mean, yes,” the redhead said, sitting up.  “What-?”

“It’s me, Ashley, and that’s Hayden.  I think...well, I think we might be in Dragon Age?  Somehow?”  She sat back on her heels and clenched her hands into fists on her thighs, trying not to freak out while she sorted her thoughts verbally.  “We’re all elves now?  And you look like that picture of your Inquisitor you showed me screenshots of, and Hayden looks like the Inquisitor she’s been streaming, so I-”

“You’re blonde, and very tall, and look sort of like a cat,” Lisbeth said bluntly.  “Actually, the eyes are kind of creepy in this light...”

“I think they look cool,” Hayden said, giving her an appraising look.

“Not important right now, guys!  We might be in Dragon Age!  Dragon Age!”

“Yes, but where?” Lisbeth asked.

“And when?” Hayden chimed in.

“Hell if I know, but we need to find out, fast.”

It took mere minutes for them to sort out what they could, because it wasn’t much.  They confirmed that yes, all of them had been morphed into their canon Inquisitors (only Inquisitor, in Hayden’s case), but with a few small changes.  Hayden’s hair was significantly darker, almost black in the dim light of the tunnel they’d found themselves in.  Lisbeth’s eyes were purple, which made her mutter about Mary Sues and bad fanfiction.  Ashley’s eyes had been green in her Inquisitor’s canon, but the switch to amber-gold didn’t bother her, since it added to the, as Lisbeth put it, ‘creepy cat’ aesthetic.

None of them had the vallaslin they remembered choosing.

They were all wearing what looked like a facsimile of the Inquisitor’s gear in the game’s opening, minus most of the armor.  Each of them identically outfited in green, gray, and brown.  They had no weapons, and only thirty copper coins between them.

“We’re fucked,” Lisbeth said.

“Don’t be so negative,” Hayden chided.

“We’re fucked!” Lisbeth repeated, this time in a faux-happy chirp.

“We’re Schroedinger’s Fucked,” Ashley said.  “Our state of fuckery is yet to be determined because we still don’t know where or when we are.  Lets follow the tunnel and see where it leads.”  She looked down the tunnel.  She could only make out another fifteen feet before it took a sharp turn out of sight.

“You going anytime soon?” Hayden asked.

She shifted on her feet.  “Yes, just-”

“Let’s go!”

Lisbeth and Ashley exchanged grim looks before following Hayden down the tunnel.  It took another ten minutes of walking before they saw signs of habitation.  There was an offshoot to their tunnel that led to a door.  Since the door had three obvious traps and probably at least twice as many ones they couldn’t see, they kept going.

Eventually, after several more nerve-wracking minutes, they emerged into a larger area, lit with torches.  There were a few people waiting outside of what looked like a house, built up against a curve in the cavern’s wall.  There was a sign by the door of the house, and the sight of it made Lisbeth grab both of her companions and yank them to a halt.

“We’re in Kirkwall!”

“Fuck,” Hayden sighed.  “I haven’t played this one yet.”

“Yeah, well, it’s been several years since I played this one,” Ashley muttered.

They both turned and raised their eyebrows at Lisbeth.

“I haven’t played it in two years!  I was in the prologue!”

“Do you remember what you chose?  Odds are, we’re in your worldstate...” Ashley pointed out.

“Um... I was playing a Rogue Hawke, male because-” she paused and smirked at Ashley.

“Shut up,” Ashley hissed.  She could feel her ears twitching as she glared.  She swept her hands up and clamped them down over the pointed ends.  “Shit, this is going to take some getting used to.”

“You’re one to talk,” Lisbeth muttered.  “At least your ears are normal sized.”  She reached up and poked at one of her own ears, easily the largest of the three of them.  They’d all gone for wildly different looks when designing their Inquisitors.  Aside from being elves, they couldn’t have looked more different from each other if they’d tried.

“Guys!  Focus!” Hayden said, scowling at them.

“Okay, so we’re in Kirkwall.  Great, not ideal but it could probably be worse.  Now, when are we?” Ashley said.

“Well, if the clinic is there, then Anders will be there,” Lisbeth pointed out.

“Great!  Let’s go, then,” Hayden said, turning on her heel and heading for the building.  The other two scrambled after her, reluctant to enter but utterly unwilling to be left behind.

The clinic was large, and appeared to be in the process of expanding.

“Act Two!” Lisbeth murmured.  “Must be!”

“Maybe not,” Ashley replied.  “Look, there’s-”

“Can I help you?”

The voice had all three of them turning to face the speaker.  There was a tall human male with reddish hair pulled back into a half-tail striding towards them.  He had a thick coating of stubble lining his jaw and looked tired.

“Oh!” Hayden cried out, curling over and falling sideways into Ashley.

“Is your friend ill?” Anders asked, speeding up.

Lisbeth raised her hands as if to ward him off: “She’s fine, thank you, we’ll just go now, we don’t want to be any-”

Ashley bodily picked up the smallest elf, backing away from the mage.

Too late, a wash of cool blue magic swept over the trio as Anders’ eyes lit from within.  “Wait, you-” he froze in place, eyes raking over each elf in turn.  “What have you-” he shook his head and swayed in place, eyes screwing tightly shut.  Suddenly, little wisps of light started to emanate from behind his closed eyelids.

Lisbeth shoved Ashley towards the door, “Now would be a good time to-”

“Run?”

“Yes!”

They booked it, ignoring the strange echoing cry that called for them to halt.

“What was that?” Ashley asked, poking Hayden in the forehead.

They’d sprinted till they’d found sunlight and what was probably the docks, based on the water, boats, and people bustling around.  They were seated on some barrels in an out of the way corner, catching their breath.

“Ouch!  Don’t Itachi me, you weirdo.”

“Well, stop Sasuke-style brooding, then.”

Hayden scowled, rubbing her hand over her heart.  “I don’t know, I felt...something.  Like a pull?  I don’t know how to describe it.  It got worse when I saw him, though.”

“That was Anders,” Lisbeth said, sounding shellshocked.  “Anders.”

“We’re in Kirkwall, yes, Anders is here,” Ashley said.

“We have to stay away from Anders,” Lisbeth said firmly.

Hayden grimaced, but didn’t say anything.

“Hey, Liz - have you always had that tattoo?”

Ashley’s words had her frowning: “Tattoo?  I don’t have-”

“Your hand, look at it.”

Lisbeth looked down at her hands, ignoring the way they’d gotten longer and skinnier since her transmigration into an elvhen body.  There was nothing on the backs of her hands, but on the palm of her right hand she found three symbols that looked like a cross between hieroglyphs and cuneiform.  The symbols were a vivid and sparkly pink.

“What the fuck?” she breathed.  “What the fuck!  What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fucking FUCK.”

“Shit, I think you broke Liz.”

“I didn’t mean to!” Ashley cried.

“What is this shit?” Lisbeth exclaimed before switching to German and going into a tirade neither of the other two could understand.  She paced back and forth in front of them, kicking out at the barrels and walls as she passed them.  Finally she stopped, fisted her hands at her sides, and yelled at the sky.

One of the barrels abruptly caught on fire.

“Hey, Liz?” Hayden called.

“WHAT.”

“I know this isn’t the best time, but I think you might be a mage, too.”

“FUUUUUUUUU-”

[lady-warnaen-blackthorn]

Goodbye..

Lia’s dialogue will be formatted like this

Warn’s dialogue will be formatted like this

Lia, to put it bluntly, was not doing too fantastic. Most of her hair had turned into this muted brown color, her skin had become pale like ice and she became borderline anorexic over the months. That certainly didn't stop her from trying to throw down with any and everything, but it didn't mean she'd always come out of it looking anywhere near 'good'. She sat on the edge of the bed, eyes darting around the room lazily as she pushed herself up off of it, a blanket loosely wrapped around her, even despite the sweater and long sleeve shirt she was wearing under it. "Warn," she stood in the doorway, somewhat attempting to find her fiance, "are you still here?"

Warn was acrost the room with her eyes practically glued to a book, reading each page swiftly then flipping to the next, she was probably reading hundreds of pages a minute and probably finishing the book pretty quickly then restarting it. She's stressed, distressed, and a serious goddamn mess. She can be heard groaning and punching the wall multiple times each with different levels of force. When she heard Lia speak up, she turned around with the most distressed look on her face. "Lia! Wha' th' 'ell are you doin' ou' of bed!? I tol' ya' t' stay pu'!" Her voice, despite her words, didn't sound angry but rather upset and worried.

Lia frowned at Warn ever so slightly, "I... wanted to come out here and spend some time with you." She wrapped the blanket around herself even more so, attempting to hide how easily you could see her ribs and collar bone, the tendons in her neck and so on. She knew it didn't exactly thrill Warn to see her like this, and she tried to hide it as much as she could. 'Maybe it would help you think that I'm not as sick as I am', she once had said.

Warn frowned as well, "I'm sorry if i' seemed like I snapped.. I'm just.. I'm so bloody on edge because o' all o' this, an' I can' stan' i'. I've tried everythin' I can thin' of to heal you an' ye' i' seems like i' only slows down ya' sickness by a little bi'. I hate tha' I 'aven't been able t' do anythin' or be able t' cure ya'. I's frustratin' as all 'ell. I also can' help but worry when ya' move aroun' because o' 'ow rapidly you're gettin' worse.." She looks on the verge of tears, "I jus'.. I don' wan' t' lose ya' an' ye'.. It seems like I don' 'ave much o' a choice in the matter.."

Lia sat on the table infront of Warn, her legs folded in front of her. "I've told you time and time again; I know what it is. But, I... suppose now wouldn't be a bad time to do so, since I... likely will not be around for too terribly much longer, love." She went quiet for a few moments, "You remember my sister. You remember what happened with her; how she looked when she died. I'm almost positive this is the same thing, or at least similar to it." She stared at her hands, curling and uncurling her fingers slowly. She spoke again, quietly, "We both know there's nothing you can do, Warn.."

"I know you know wha' i' is, but I can't help bu' hope and pray i' isn't tha' and tha' there's something I can do, damnit!" After that, the waterworks started. "I know there's nothing I can do, bu' wha' am I supposed t' do? Si' by idly while ya' continuously ge' worse an' act as if everythin's just as i' used t' be? Act like i's just you an' me together and nothin' else, like 'ow I felt when we spent time together a' our lit'le hideou' as kids? I can't, Lia! I'd love t', bu' I can't. I hate this, this illness, the stress it's causin' me an' the pain I feel knowin' I don' 'ave any choice bu' t' le' i' take ya' from me. I fuckin'- I- Goddamni'.." Warn's eyes were nothing but tears at this point as she collapsed, her head essentially falling and hitting her folded arms.

Lia softly wrapped her arms around Warn, giving her a few minutes before she spoke. "Can you do something for me?"

Warn looked up, tears still streaming from her face, "Of course, love. Anythin', wha' is i'?"

Lia pressed a soft kiss to the top of Warn's head. "When I... die, move on... please. I don't want you to sit around and mope over me until you die. I know, it's cliche and cheesy; but it's the truth. When I pass, move on, eventually."

"I-" Warn hesitates and stays silent for a moment, then nods slowly, "I'll.. try. It.. won't be easy, though.. I've loved ya' since we were kids, I.. it's hard t' move on from tha'.."

"Warn." Lia tightened her grip on Warn's shoulders, and forcing Warn to look at her. While she wasn't crying as hard as Warn was, there were still visible tear tracks on her face. "Move on... please."

"I'll.. I'll try, I will. I promise I'll at least try."

Lia nodded a little, letting go of Warn and curling back up into a ball on the table. "I... won't sugar coat it; I'm.. honestly not sure how much time I have left."

"I.. I don't want t' lose ya', Lia.. I don't.. I don't want ya' t' go.."

"I know. But I'm ready to. I want to see Ely again.."

"When you go.. give her my regards. I'm going t' miss you.." Though her tears had stopped momentarily, her voice still quivered.

"I know, Warn." She moved over to sit next to her. "Would you mind getting the fireplace up and going for me?"

"Of course, love.."

"Thank you."

Warn stood and began getting the fireplace ready, placing a few pieces of wood in and then lighting them.

Lia moved over to sit infront of it after a few minutes, wrapping her blanket around herself again.

Warn walked over and sat next to her, wrapping her arm around Lia.

Lia nudged herself into Warn's side. "Are you alright?"

"I'm.." Warn wants to respond but finds herself unable to."I guess.. I'm good enough for someone whose fiance and best friend is dying."

"Please, it's not like I'm skin and bones," yes she is, "I'm just bordering on constantly dying of hypothermia and I feel fantastic." She drapes herself over Warn dramatically.

Warn couldn't help but crack a small smile and giggle a bit, "You're such a dork.."

"Of course I am. It is my job to make you at least somewhat happy."

Then, out of nowhere, the sound of claws and paws tapping on the floor could be heard in the distance as Luna came rushing into the room, but tripped and lost her footing, so it was more like she came rolling into the room, crashing into Warn and Lia.

Lia screeched, thoroughly sandwiched between Warn and Luna. She hisses with a wheeze, "Fantastic."

Warn giggled, "Oh, relax, you know she didn't mean to. She tripped, probably gets it from you."

"I know, don't worry."

Luna gives a small yip and licks Lia's face a few times.

Lia screeches casually. "Luna, no!"

Luna whimpers and looks very confused. Why doesn't her human want her love? She just wants to spread her love and affection!

Lia pouts at Luna. "Later."

Luna whines and sits next to her owners.

Lia sits back up next to Warn and paps her thigh. "Come here you little shit."

Luna's face turns to that of excitement and hops up into Lia's lap.She then snuggles into Lia and lays down as best she can.Warn reaches over and pets Luna, allowing the small wolf to lick her hand, putting a smile on her face. "I'm not the only one who'll miss you, clearly."

"Uh, correction; She'll miss my lap."

"Oh, shut up, you know she loves you as much as she loves your lap."

"I'm aware, but she'll absolutely miss my lap and body heat more."

"Doesn't mean she won't miss you."

"Besides, you think I'm gonna miss just the memories we made together?"

"Well it's certainly not like you're gonna miss my ass."

"All I'm going to say is you're a damn good lay."

"Dear we have not had sex that much for that to be possible."

"Shh."

"Still, I appreciate it."

"You're the best lay I've ever had, end of discussion."

"Warn.. I'm the only lay you've had."

"Not true."

"Who was the other?"

"Did I ever tell you I was in Unit Eight briefly?"

"Yes?"

"Well.. there was this pretty rogue girl that I had to patch up fairly often and she was really into me, always acting real flirty. I decided to give her the time of day; we had a brief fling with each other before I helped you bust what's-her-name out. You're better than her."

"I feel like you added that last part on just to make me feel better about myself. Which, considering I'm on the brink of death, and willingly sitting with you, in the middle of the Jade Forest, I don't think that's really needed, love."

"I didn't add it just to make you feel better."

Lia shrugs, "It doesn't matter." She carefully lifts Luna off of her and sets her on the floor next to the two of them before she quietly crawls into Warn's lap and facing her. "Can you just hold me until the sun goes down, please?" Lia was deathly cold to the touch, despite being in front of a raging fireplace, and being under a handful of layers.

Warn nodded and opened her lap up some more to help support Lia, then began to stroke her hair gently, "Of course, my love.."

Lia hummed, wrapping herself around Warn some lazily. "Thank you."

"Of course, love.. I'll hold you as long as you want me to, you know I don't mind."

Lia kept herself around Warn for a while, before quietly speaking again, "Have I ever told you I love you?"

"Directly like that? Only a couple of times."

"As long as you're aware."

"I never doubted it, honey."

It took a while for Lia to get situated, eventually bordering on sleeping on Warn.

Warn continued to stroke Lia's hair gently and even started humming a song her mother would sing to her when she was young, just to try and help things a little."I love you, Lia.."

Lia's grip on Warn slowly loosened, her breathing slowing as she slept against Warn. It didn't stay peaceful for long, though; her breathing abruptly coming to a complete halt before a final exhale was let out slowly, her head hitting Warn's shoulder harshly as her weight was slumped against the Druid. The tips of her fingers and lips were a harsh dark blue-ish purple color, almost black in some spots, the veins crawling up from her hands filled with the same black color, sprawling all the way up her neck, and a dark black smoke-like entity eventually left Lia's body moments after her breathing stopped, dispersing into the air almost immediately, like it wasn't there to begin with.

Warn was silent for a few moments, just sitting there and holding her fiance's lifeless body. She closed her eyes, trying and failing horribly to hold back her tears. She clutched Lia's cold hand tightly, cursing everything and hoping that all of this was just some horrible dream she was having. But it wasn't. It wasn't and she knew that, she didn't want to face it, but that was the reality of it. Lia's gone. All of the memories they had together, what they had together in the present, all of it was officially just that. Memories. "Why? Damnit, why her? Why couldn't i' be me? She deserves t' live more than I do, and ye' 'ere I am.." "I couldn't even save 'er.. I tried bu' I couldn't. Maybe if I tried harder, I could've-" "..No. She told me herself there was nothin' I could've done.." She sighed and leaned down, giving Lia one final kiss, still clutching her hand. "Goodbye, my love.. May you finally find peace in the afterlife.. I'll always love you.."

[This was fucin’ hard to RP, ngl.]

[Mentions: @battle-nat a.k.a. the mastermind behind @valliasilverthorn]

[saltpepperbeard]

Begin Again ~A Joshifer One-Shot~

A/N: Well hello everyone! Been some time since I’ve talked to you all through an author’s note, hasn’t it? Don’t worry, I’m just as surprised as you are lol. Yes yes, I know Joshifer has become quite the irrelevant ship lately, with hardly anything going on anymore. But every time I come back to Tumblr, I always somehow manage to get a bit of that shipping spark rekindled. And I guess lately, the spark was so strong that an entire fanfiction came out of it lol!

Fanfiction has always been my way of dealing with things/interpreting real life events differently. With that being said, this is kind of my take on what could be happening behind the scenes. Yes yes naysayers, it’s unlikely, but I absolutely adore exploring the big “WHAT IF” lol.

So after a literal...what has it been, two year gap? I decided to go and get very trashy again! And I do hope you’ll give this a read, even after all this time. I’m dragging as many of you down into the dumpster with me again as I can lol! I hope you all enjoy it, and you’ll have to excuse any errors; I tried to do a typo sweep but I’m also really eager to just get this out for everyone!

Disclaimer: This fic contains mature themes such as strong language and sensuality.

And without further adooooooo....

Begin Again

It feels like an entire lifetime has passed since I traversed these shores, since I created unforgettable memories, since I established relationships I thought would stand the test of time. But just like the sand beneath my feet being carried by each passing wave, I guess everything gets swept away eventually.

A heavy sigh passes through my nose, coupled with a bitter sweet smile playing across my features. Now I know why I never ventured back to this beach, despite staying in Oahu numerous times. It’s just a little too damn nostalgic- dare I say depressing, even. It’s almost like new memories flood in with every passing step.

I can almost hear the voices of the production crew talking and laughing against the waves, the atmosphere of filming a movie still lingering from many years ago. I can picture sitting in the warm Hawaiian sun with my fellow cast mates, taking breaks and cracking jokes between takes. And of course, I can practically see my best friends sitting beside me, constantly laughing and furthering what I thought would be an unbreakable bond.

I guess time has a way of changing things.

The now-emptiness of the beach is a rather painful reminder of the direction things have gone, everyone going their separate ways. We all tried to keep in touch. We really did. But the industry was a roaring wave that crashed around us, and prevented us from communicating well. What went from texts and calls multiple times a week quickly dwindled to a few times per month. And it’s gotten even more sporadic sense then.

I kick the sand with a foot, sighing as I feel my heart sinking deeper into my chest. It never really occurred to me how much I actually miss everyone. But I do. I miss working with them. I miss being with them. I miss everything we had going.

A rogue thought, a triggering memory, begins to snake around me like a piece of damp seaweed, and I attempt to brush it off as I continue my literal walk down memory lane. It grips tighter and tighter however, threatening to completely overtake my subconscious the further I stroll down the soft white sands.

I grit my teeth and give my head a shake, attempting to literally rattle the images out of my head. Maybe it was sadistic of me to come out here. I knew damn well it was going to open up a plethora of memories. And yet I felt some kind of strange urge, some kind of draw to walk down memory lane again. It’s not so much thinking about filming that hurts though. It’s...

I shut my eyes tightly, bringing both hands up to brush backwards against my head. I can start to hear a twinkling, unmistakable laugh on the breeze. I can start to smell a scent that makes me at home amidst the salty air. I can start to feel warm hands on my shoulders, rivaling that of sun above.

Jesus Christ.

“Sad, Josh. Real sad.”

Why the hell did I come out here. I haven’t thought about her that way in months, years. I’ve attempted to move on from her, to push everything about her to the back of my brain. And here I am instantly dredging it all up again.

“No. I’m over her. I’m over her, I’m over her, I’m over her...”

I internally repeat the saying as a mantra, a constant stream of words to hopefully override the trespassing thoughts and feelings. Because I am. What she and I had died years ago. She and I have gone down our own paths like everyone else. Sure, we might have had something almost going at a point, but not anymore. She chose her own way of life, and I chose mine.

Definitely over her.

Fuck, I really need to get off this beach. It’s like some sort of sick rip current, pulling me back into the mindset I had years ago. It’s replacing all the steps I’ve taken forward with a good ten or so steps back. It’s reverting me right back to the lovesick, desperate persona I tried so hard to rid myself of on countless occasions.

My jaw clenches tightly, an outward sign of the emotions building up within me. God, I swear, she’s like a drug to me. I know thinking about her now doesn’t do me any good. I know there’s nothing really I can do about our current relationship. But that never really seems to put a permanent stop to her repeatedly nudging her way back into my life again.

It probably doesn’t help that I’m walking the same shores where my feelings really peaked for her. This is where I felt something intense for her so long ago, something I truthfully haven’t felt with anyone else, something that’s always made me feel guilty in the relationships that followed. I think that’s why she’s so incredibly hard to shake, so incredibly hard to fully rid myself of.

Because she was like...a part of me back then. She awakened a part of me I didn’t even realize I had. And I suppose once we established that deep of a connection, once we gave each other our everything, there was no erasing it. She placed a piece of herself in the inner most part of my heart.

I suddenly snap myself out of it with a hard sigh, grinding my teeth together as the pain peaks and wanes. How sadistic must I be to continue standing out here when I know damn well what the consequences are. I came to Oahu to relax like I always do. I didn’t come out here to leave feeling worse than when I arrived.

Finally, I get some semblance of self-control back, and with one last look towards the old stomping grounds, I start back towards the semi-hidden path to get off the beach. But Jesus, it’s like the place is one side of a magnet with myself as the other, because it tugs me back with a beckoning call on the wind...Something that eerily sounds just like...

“........Josh?”

I stop short and whip my head from side to side. Nothing but the sand and sea on either side, with the dense Hawaiian forest before me. I conclude that I must really be losing my mind, and with a hard blink, I pick up my pace to walk away.

“Josh...”

There it is again, this time more distinguishable, and all too familiar. It’s enough to roll a shudder down my spine, and almost enough to draw moisture into my eyes. Yeah no, I definitely don’t need my brain playing this severe of tricks on me. It’s a signal to leave and not return for a long time. But every inch of my body, every ounce of my soul, halts completely at the clarity, the urgency, the unmistakable tone that floods my ears.

“Joshua.”

It’s firm. It’s confused. It’s impossible to ignore. It’s beautiful. It’s-

Turning slowly around almost causes me to white out, what with my heart stopping and restarting itself numerous times in my chest.

It’s real.

I stand there, completely frozen, completely agape, still trying to process what I’m seeing. There still might be the chance that this is all some sort of stupid hallucination, some sort of withdrawal type thing. But then I’m meeting her eyes, looking into a deep blue ocean that makes me completely forget about the one beside us. And the teary relief that spreads across her face is so genuine, so wonderful, that I feel myself breaking down all over again.

“Oh, Joshy...It’s...really you...”

I feel like everything moves in both slow and fast motion. I feel like I still can’t keep up with what’s happening right now. I feel like I’m making this all up to cope, or dreaming, or just going fucking crazy. But all of a sudden, my whole body lights ablaze with reality as she slips herself into my arms, slips herself back into my life.

She’s real.

I don’t even know what to do. I don’t know how to react. I’m an absolute statue as the hesitance in her movements dissipates and melts into what used to be our usual embrace, her arms wrapping around my neck and her face nestling into my shoulder. Despite this, I’m still frozen, my arms two lead weights against my side as I continue to catch up with the unfolding events. But, in her typical fashion, she nudges me along and further convinces me that yes, this is actually happening.

“Hug me back, you fucker...”

I somehow manage to breathe again, and I also manage to lift my arms up to slowly complete the embrace. 

“Over her” my ass. Because the second I’m hugging her, the second I’m pulling her against me, I never want to let her go ever again. The walls I had taken years to build up, brick by brick, instantly come crashing down as the wave that is Jennifer rushes forth.

I don’t say anything back to her retort. I don’t say anything at all. I simply take a moment to silently re-familiarize myself with everything about her, everything I’ve missed so terribly without fully admitting it to myself. The way her body conforms perfectly to mine. The way she fits into my arms like just the right puzzle piece. The softness of her scent. The tickling warmth of her breaths against my skin.

God, I’m weak. I’m so incredibly weak. And it’s what’s gotten me into trouble all these years. She’s like something of a kryptonite.

I can feel her exhalations getting shaky, and I’m not sure if she’s going to cry or say something. But for what’s probably the first time in her life, she stays quiet too. We simply hold each other, silently making up for all the time that’s passed, all the hugs that could have been.

I can’t help myself. I’m at probably my absolute weakest. So I gently thread my fingers through her luscious hair, holding her even closer as I lean my head against hers. Again, I’m met with a shivering exhale, and I begin to wonder what she’s making of the whole thing.

For once though, I brush the inquiry away. For once, I don’t even attempt to read her mind. Because honestly, what are the chances of me running into Jennifer fucking Lawrence on the exact same beach we used to film on, the exact same beach that, perhaps permanently, brought us together. It has to be some type of fate or something.

A rogue wave washes high up the beach, striking our legs and pulling me back down to Earth. Come to think of it...how the hell did we both end up here together? I was just visiting Oahu by chance on a personal getaway. I know Jen visits on the occasion as well, but we haven’t been here together since...

I begin to pull back from our hug to properly talk to her, to get a good look at her. After one last tight squeeze, she slowly follows my lead, and we reveal ourselves to each other in the shimmering Hawaiian sunlight.

Instantly, it feels like my legs are going to give out. If one more wave comes by, I’m going to be a goner. Because Jen’s not standing before me- rather, a legitimate fucking angel is. 

She’s just as stunning as I remember, if not more so. Her light blonde hair falls into flawless beachy waves against her shoulders. Her skin glistens like a diamond catching the sun’s rays. Her sapphire eyes carry the same beauty, the same warmth, the same allure that they always have. Though I had every intention to talk, I’m rendered absolutely speechless.

She must take notice, but she doesn’t help my case. Quite the opposite really, because she decides to grace me with her incredibly gorgeous smile, one that sinks my composure like a rock.

“Joshua Ryan,” she breathes, her smile growing even more if that’s even possible, “God, I can’t believe it’s you...What do you have to say for yourself after all this time?”

“I...”

My voice comes out in a harsh rasp, and I have to close my eyes as I attempt to channel any composure I can find.

“Jen...”

Her name still rolls beautifully off my tongue, despite it feeling so strange to say now. Though my tone is weak and cracking, my emotions strangling it off, I somehow press on with my question.

“How...the absolute fuck...”

“-are you here right now?” she butts in, boomeranging my query right back.

“I technically asked you first.”

Jennifer snorts, giving her eyes a quick roll, before she faithfully answers.

“Business I guess. Liz pointed me this direction and told me a potential gig might be coming my way. She didn’t really go into detail though.”

I furrow my brows, curiosity and confusion sweeping through me.

“A gig?”

“Yeah. I guess she wanted me to talk to someone out here and is keeping it a surprise.”

I can’t help but jump to conclusions at her words. Because the way she put it, it almost sounds like Liz wanted her to meet up with me. It seems like a load of bull, but then again, I did inform Melissa I was going to be leaving to Oahu for a few weeks...Do she and Liz even stay in contact? Could some sort of setup even be a possibility?

Before I can come up with further theories, Jen brings me back.

“How about you?”

“Oh, uh, I was just here on vacation I guess.”

As bold as ever, Jennifer raises an eyebrow and gives me a knowing look.

“A vacation away from a vacation?”

“Hey now,” I mutter, “You know I’ve been trying to do stuff. It just gets hard when I keep hitting all these slow spots.”

Jen’s face softens again, and she laughs her gorgeous staccato laugh before replying.

“I know. Don’t take it so personally, asshole.”

I give my eyes a roll; seems like she hasn’t changed much at all. Instead of poking and prodding at me further though, she asks me a question that has my heart skipping beats all over again.

“Why don’t you tell me everything that’s been going on with you?”

“I- Right now?” I sputter.

“Yes, you idiot,” she laughs incredulously, “Do you have anything going on?”

Even if I did, I certainly don’t anymore. I couldn’t even start to prioritize anything else on this island over a moment like this.

“Not...really no.”

“Perfect. Neither do I.”

We stare at each other for a moment more, and I have to clear my throat and look away before I get totally entranced by her.

“I uh...I have some towels and drinks back in my car if you want to sit out for a while?”

Jennifer lights up in a way that makes the sun look dark, her excitement so contagious I can’t help but grin at her.

“Yessss!” she squeals, “Spongy coming in clutch!”

I laugh, both at her and the ridiculousness of it all, before beckoning her to come back to the car with me. She eagerly follows, the two of us departing the beach and heading back on the heavily floral path. We walk for a moment in silence, but just like old times, it never lasts long.

“So okay, I know why you’re here on Oahu,” Jen starts,” But now it’s my turn to ask why the absolute fuck-”

“-You were on the Kawela Bay Beach?” I finish for her with a chuckle, using her same interrupting tactic from earlier.

She gives me that wonderful laugh of hers again, before composing herself to reply.

“Probably the same thing you were doing: reliving one of the better parts of my life I guess. Walking down memory lane. Whatever you want to call it. Definitely got way more nostalgic than I bargained for though.”

“Yeah,” I snort, “You can say that again!”

She giggles once more, before quieting down. Though I’m not looking at her, instead watching my footing to make sure I don’t trip on a lone root or something, I can practically feel the warmth of her stare as she gazes at me, causing a subsequent burn in my cheeks.

“What?” I press, feeling my skin reddening more by the second.

“Nothing,” she chuckles softly, “I just...cannot believe I’m here with you right now.”

“Welcome to my world,” I snort, “When I first heard and saw you, I thought I was majorly tripping balls.”

“Jesus,” she laughs, “Happen to have anything that could do that in your car?”

“Unfortunately not. But I think seeing one Jen after all this time is the most I can handle right now anyway.”

“You’re probably right.”

We share another round of mirth, and then it’s my turn to stare at her once more, my turn to really appreciate the fact that Jen is indeed here with me. She’s just...incredible; she trumps the island’s beauty by leaps and bounds. Seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, watching her hair and sundress flutter to match my heart in the gentle breeze...It’s all so much. It’s all some sort of crazy dream.

Thankfully, my waterfall of sentiments is capped by us reaching my car. I pop the trunk and grab supplies out of it, handing Jen a towel and pack of beer before picking up the same. We quickly make our way back to the beach, setting down the towels next to each other, before opening up both our drinks and our lives.

I guess she and I must have hit some kind of weird wall due to our careers, because now that we’re in person, it’s like we never even took a pause at all. We go straight back to our jokes, our teasing, our storytelling, catching each other up with one another’s nonsense and kicking back beneath the Hawaiian sun.

Jen of course complains about all the publicity shit she has to deal with on a near consistent basis, and I chide that it must be nice to have so many gigs. We playfully bicker for some time, before agreeing to switch lives when we head back home, laughing and drinking all the while.

We then go into even further detail, talking about things such as our families, our housing situation, our dogs...Everything literally under the sun. We go on for hours, going through a multitude of stories, along with a multitude of drinks.

By the time the sun has started to drift down into the waves, my throat is incredibly dry from talking so much, a contrast to the liquid confidence flowing through me. A couple of empty cases of drinks is further evidence to how much time and alcohol have passed, along with Jennifer leaning her head sloppily on my shoulder.

We’ve somehow managed to go quiet for a bit, simply basking in each other’s company and the orange glow of the retreating light. Thank God I can’t think entirely straight, or my mind would likely be ablaze with all sorts of infatuation towards the woman beside me, all sorts of thoughts that would likely intrude on the moment. Of course, I can leave it to Jen to pick up the ball.

“Joshy?”

“Hmm?”

“Why don’t we ever do this anymore,” she whines, her voice slightly coated with alcohol.

Though I know she isn’t thinking clearly either, and is spouting whatever comes to mind far more than usual, I cannot help but stiffen slightly. I cannot help but have a few, more negative thoughts creep into the picture. It’s a reality check of sorts I suppose, a break away from the gorgeous reverie this whole day has been. It’s a reminder that, despite us once being so close, being practically unbreakable, we did indeed end up going our separate ways.

“You know why.”

“Noooo...” she whines again, and I see her lip puff out in her platypus pout out of the corner of my eye.

“We both kind of went our own ways,” I murmur,” You know that. You’ve certainly been...keeping busy.”

“Yeah, with a bunch of fucking movie shit.”

“Among other things...”

Now it’s Jen’s turn to stiffen. I should have known she of all people would catch the deeper meaning behind my words, the unintentional jealously that slipped into my statement. Maybe that was partly what pushed me away from her, some kind of fucked up possessiveness as I watched her jump from guy to guy. She’s quick to check me though, shifting herself away from me and giving me an incredulous stare.

“Josh, don’t even give me that shit. Need I remind you that you have a girlfriend?”

I shudder at a multitude of things. The mere mentioning of Claudia, the fact that my heart was constantly going every which way during our relationship and could never settle itself, the fact that I was possessive over Jen despite us going our separate ways, the fact that Jen just recognized said bullshit...

I let out a long sigh. It was a mess. It was all an incredible mess. I definitely couldn’t keep kidding anyone though. I couldn’t fully commit no matter how hard I tried. Not with part of me permanently residing with someone else.

“...We broke up.”

Jen’s furrowed brows instantly lift, her expression shifting to that of softness and surprise.

“...What?”

“We broke up,” I say again, “About a year or so ago.”

I simply leave it at that. Because despite Jen and I having an amazing reunion today, I have no fucking clue where that puts us now. And I definitely don’t have any idea how she’s been feeling after all these years. I feel like we need to focus on the aspect of our friendship instead anyway rather than dredging up relationship things, no matter how pressing they are in my head.

“Oh...” Jen murmurs.

I expect her to bury me with more questions, to attempt to figure out the juicy details on why my past relationship didn’t work out. I expect her to drunkenly tease me about not being able to put out or some shit like that. I expect her to talk all sorts of shit as she does. But strangely enough, she simply leaves it at that, staring silently out at the ocean before us.

I gaze at her for a while, waiting for her to speak up once more, but she doesn’t. Puzzled, I shift myself to follow her stare, simply taking in the sights along with her. In the small respite, my mind begins to stumble through thoughts and memories. Sitting out here, watching the setting sun with her, takes me back to when we filmed the popular “Beach Kiss” scene. I remember how we were laughing so much and giving each other so much between takes, but in the moment, I remember just being...absolutely entranced with her. 

I remember her stealing the breath right out of my lungs. I remember her pulling me deep under her spell. I remember that very moment completely solidifying my feelings for her.

I remember that being the moment I realized I truly loved her.

A long sigh blows from pursed lips, and I look down at the last of my alcohol as I continue to reminisce. It’s strange how much that time practically parallels now when I think about it. The laughing and talking, followed by the more intense thoughts and bits of passion. We’re just missing one key piece, else we’d have it all over again.

“Kiss me.”

The drink I had started to take nearly comes out in a spray as I sputter back into the bottle, almost choking at the insane segway from Jennifer.

“What?”

“You heard me,” she murmurs, “Kiss me.”

My brain goes absolutely wild, trying to work through how the fuck she practically just read my thoughts a second ago. My first, and perhaps alcohol-ridden instinct, is to pounce on her and kiss her into the next day. The very idea of getting to taste her, feeling her flower petals of lips gliding through mine, sharing such a gorgeous, intimate moment with her that I’ve been craving since the day she first gave it to me...

I physically have to clench myself to ensure I don’t do anything rash, and instead attempt to tread as carefully through this as I can. I want it. I want her. God, I fucking want her so bad. But this same kind of thing...this same kind of thirst...It messed us up so bad so many years ago. It tore a rift between us, maybe one that eventually lead us to the distanced paths we took away from one another.

Regardless, it’d be amazing, so fucking amazing in the moment, but who knows what kind of further repercussions it could cause. I feel like I just now started to get Jen back as a friend. I don’t need to lose her yet again, maybe for even longer, simply because of a drunk slip-up.

“I, wh- Jen, you’re drunk.”

She lets out a stubborn, snorting laugh, placing her hands on her hips as she stares me down.

“And?”

“And you’re not in your head right now,” I reply gently, hesitantly, “I don’t...Want to do something we might...regret later.”

She looks at me for a moment, surprise and contemplation seeming to dance across her features. But suddenly, her face goes incredibly hard, and she gives a dramatic roll of her eyes before pouting back towards the ocean.

“Such fucking bullshit...” I hear her grumble, and my head spins as a result.

“Jen. What the hell are you on about?” I ask, completely beside myself.

“You cannot tell me you don’t want this too.”

It feels like the world stops as she calls my bluff yet again, this time perhaps the most painful instance yet. I have to ball my towel up into tight fists, inhaling calming breaths as my eyes shut her tightly away from view.

Because she’s right. She’s absolutely right. I definitely want nothing more than to completely ravage her, right here and now. But I can’t. We can’t. There’s no fucking way.

Also, though it’s likely just a product of her drunken state, what the hell is Jen thinking anyway? Is she mutual in sharing my thoughts and desires? Was she also thinking back to our Catching Fire days? Has she also been missing me the same way I’ve been missing her?

It’s all such a crazy enigma, and I don’t believe it’s best to solve it by giving into each other. Didn’t help our case last time, that’s for sure.

“I...Jennifer, we haven’t seen each other in so fucking long,” I begin, attempting to go down the most reasonable route, “We barely even talk anymore. Hell, there were times I was questioning if we were even still friends or not. I feel like this is the first time I’ve really talked to you in years. So you can’t expect me to want to complicate everything all over again. I can’t do that.”

I brace myself for her to fire things at me in return. I brace myself for her to pressure me further and push me to the brink of giving in. So I’m incredibly surprised when I’m met with the crash of the waves and nothing more.

I chance a look at her, and find that she’s rested her head on her bent legs, staring out over the water again with an unreadable expression painted across her face. As I stare, the setting sun strikes her in such a way that makes her absolutely glow, like some sort of spotlight that’s directing me to her. She’s ablaze with beauty, matching the quickly intensifying fire in my heart.

Catching Fire again indeed, because just like last time, the fires within us grow to meet each other, dancing in perfect synchronization. Just like last time, everything points for us to proceed despite all other signs not to do so. Just like last time, every fucking ounce of composure, of control, of anything that would hold me back, is turned to ash and washed away by the tide.

I try so hard for one last second. I clench my jaw tightly, shut my eyes away, and fist my towel up to the point where it hurts. But her draw is stronger. Her draw wins over everything else. Her draw convinces me in a second that everything happens for a reason, and that there is nothing more standing in the way.

I let out a soft groan, the last bit of me letting go.

“...Fucking...dammit.”

And then I’m on Jennifer so quick that she barely has time to turn her head in my direction before my lips find their true place once more.

The way she matches my speed and my passion is ludicrous, but I suppose it confirms she wanted nothing more as well. Instantly we’re facing each other, climbing up one another’s bodies and pulling each other onto our knees, never once stopping the stream of sucks and glides between our mouths.

Jen’s hands find my hair, and she grasps and pulls strands as she continues on with her passionate assault. I anchor myself to her as well, cupping her face tightly with both hands and drawing her even closer, drinking in all that she is. The only things that manage to break through the connection of our lips is desperate breaths and small moans.

Everything is perfect, an urgent ballet as our tongues and lips continuously dance with each other. Some feral part of me that has been dormant for far too long awakens, and I lower myself back down against the sand without any thought, pulling her on top of me. She chases eagerly after me, biting my bottom lip the moment she’s settled atop me.

Having her this close in so many ways, after so fucking long, causes me to release a groaning sigh into our plethora of kisses. She captures the vocalization with ease, drawing both it and my bottom lip into her mouth with a sensual suck. Of course, at this level of passion, this level of raw desire, our bodies react accordingly. I can feel all the fire that we created traveling down to rage in our pelvises, with mine beginning to alight directly at the apex of my legs.

Just like that, Jen responds, slowly beginning to rock her body against mine. We both moan our approvals into each other, and my hands naturally crawl up to caress Jen’s back, aiding her with her movements.

I thought a kiss would be ridiculous, but sex would be even more so. Regardless of any kind of common sense I may have, I am just mere moments from flipping her over and pounding years of want into her. I am just mere moments from reaffirming the unshakable connection we made on this same island so long ago. 

Thankfully though, the universe sides with my feeble attempts to get my composure back, and decides to literally douse the fire burning out of control on its sands. Another rogue wave, the biggest of them all perhaps, suddenly surges quickly up the sand, enveloping our legs in rather freezing water.

Jennifer releases me with a high pitched squeal one second, and rolls off me the next, instinctually skittering away from the only undesired wetness on this beach. I’m still in so much of a daze that I simply lay there, allowing the wave to lap up to my thighs and completely put out the rampant desire I had been experiencing.

I have to take a moment and gaze skyward, panting softly and running my hands down my face. I use the silence to focus on drawing the blood away from my pelvis for a moment, to calm myself down after that taste of actual heaven.

I’m starting to wonder what became of Jen, where she ended up after the wave crashed our party. Neither of us are saying anything, so I can only pray that she’s calming herself down as well, and not regretting it like I had originally warned. She doesn’t keep me worrying long however, her beautiful, sunny, smiling face appearing in my peripheral vision.

“You never could resist me, hmm?” she teases with a giggle, hovering her face slightly over mine.

“Fuck you...” I mutter, shutting my eyes again but chuckling all the while.

We share a breathy laugh, before we travel into a comfortable silence, simply bathing in the afterglow together. Jen further chases away my fears of her being uncomfortable, as she begins to softly stroke her fingers through my hair. I cannot help but smile at the feeling, at the situation, at everything that’s happened. It’s nuts to think that hours ago I had been preparing myself to never see her again, and now we’re together, practically in love all over.

Leave it to Jen to either complete my thoughts, or read them entirely.

“Hey so don’t hate me for this; can I make a suggestion?” she murmurs.

“What’s that?” I answer softly, opening my eyes to meet her warm stare.

“Would you be terribly opposed to just...starting over?”

Now she’s got my complete attention, my head pivoting on the sand to properly look at her, to check to see if I’m not making any of this up. But no, I’m met with nothing but unbridled sincerity, her eyes a mixture of hopeful and loving.

“We’re basically there already anyway,” she chuckles softly, “We pretty much hopped right back to square one again. I just...”

She inhales deeply, giving my hair another stroke.

“I miss you, Joshy...I’ve missed you more than I ever would have imagined. Hope this confirmed it,” she says with a snorting giggle, and we share a quick laugh of agreement before she continues, “I’m...To put it simply, you caught me completely offguard, Joshua Ryan. All these years, you made me feel things I’ve never felt towards anyone. And I guess it scared me, and overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to do with my feelings. I never really did. I fucked up so many times. Royally.”

“I definitely did too,” I admit.

“So yeah, because something brought us back together...Would you be okay with giving...us a chance again?”

I gaze deeply into her eyes, and the pure adoration I’m met with earns me the biggest smile I’ve had in such a long time.

“I don’t think I would mind that at all.”

Jen’s smile is quick to match mine, the both of us lighting up and illuminating the beach in the fading light. She gently cups my face with a hand, and presses a soft but meaningful kiss against my forehead; it feels as if she’s sealing her promise into it.

“You’re going to have to give me time to catch up, though,” I laugh, “Hoooo...I’m still trying to figure out if this all a really insane trip.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be hanging out with such a junkie,” she teases back.

“Don’t think you’ve got much of chance now, Jenny.”

Her smile runs incredibly warm at the usage of an old nickname, before she bursts into happy giggles, pulling me into a tight hug the moment I sit up.

“And I wouldn’t want it any other way, Joshy.”

[sinceileftyoublog]

Supermilk Interview: Less Spikes, More Curves

Photo by Julie Ernie

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Jake Popyura’s used to doing things himself. The drummer and vocalist of supremely underrated British indie rock band Doe, who split up in 2019, records as Supermilk, a project initially intended to be a studio-only side project, albeit one rooted in Popyura’s longtime experience self-recording. A 2017 and 2019 EP were followed by a full-length, last March’s Death Is The Best Thing for You Now, which he finally planned to tour, adopting his bedroom approach to a band on stage. We all know what happened last March. For Popyura, the cancellation of live music for the foreseeable future, the still-recent dissolution of Doe, and a dry well of freelance web development projects (his day gig) could have combined to form a full-blown existential crisis. Yes, who am I to assume that didn’t happen, but from an outsider’s point of view, Popyura simply did what a lot of artists did with lockdown: write some songs.

Four by Three, Supermilk’s second LP (and first for Specialist Subject) marks a new path for Popyura both in context of Doe and Supermilk. Though there are still buzzing tunes with grim subject matter, Popyura took the opportunity to dive deep within himself. The album’s bookended with two lilting, personal tracks, first single and closer “Used to It” and vulnerable opener “Unsafe”. The latter as well as “Lifesaver” allow him to showcase his expressive, open vocals, giving more space than ever to his lyrics. Yes, some of the album’s best songs could have fit on previous, murder-oriented releases, like choppy, Heaven’s Gate-inspired burner “Swim” and a fuzz rock sequel to Death’s serial killer tale “Agony Anne”. But Four by Three has the most variety of any Supermilk or even Doe release, exemplary of Popyura’s ability to channel different corners of his mind.

I spoke with Popyura over Zoom in May from London, where he’s “currently living, trying not to go insane.” In addition to the record, he spoke about his love for horror films, craft beer, and VHS collecting, why he chooses to be open about his day job, and when he’ll start thinking about restarting the live incarnation of Supermilk. Read the conversation below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: With either Doe or Supermilk, had you been used to the idea of putting out an album, touring it, and having that road-testing experience influence the process of the next one? Was the process for Four by Three different, having written and recorded it immediately after putting out Death Is The Best Thing for You Now?

Jake Popyura: I guess with Doe, that was the way they would usually work, in terms of touring it for as long as we could before getting started on another one. Naturally, the way you evolve as a band is through playing and touring relentlessly, and the adventures you have together influence the way you work together and impact subsequent releases. With Supermilk, I’ve been doing my own kind of “one man band” things for a long time. I’m an only child and started playing music really early, and my dad taught me to record music by myself on his four-track when I was quite young. Supermilk’s sort of another version of that one-man band thing. I’ve never really played live as a solo thing. Not having any outside influence, just doing it myself without having road testing, is something I’m used to, so it didn’t make much of a difference to the writing and recording of the new record.

The last record, my first full-length with Supermilk, we were working on a live band incarnation of it, which we were gonna tour and do some shows with. That had to be completely canceled because of COVID. That was the only hint of doing live stuff solo. It’s always been a self-contained thing, writing and recording on my own. The only difference this time is my friend Rich [Mandell] produced, mixed, and mastered Four by Three. So sadly, no road testing for Supermilk yet. Hopefully at some point in the future when we can stand shoulder to shoulder and people can be on stage again.

There was a period of time last year where I didn’t work, because I was previously freelance as a day job. I finished my last freelance contract just before COVID kicked off, and all the work dried up, and there were four months I couldn’t work or couldn’t find any work. It was all a bit dicey. So I thought, “I guess I’ll start [making a record.]” I was playing guitar a lot more and was indoors a lot more. It was a way to pass the time and naturally grew into intelligent songs. Towards the end of the year, I thought, “There might be a second record in this. I like all the stuff I’m doing, and there’s probably enough ideas in here for me to start forming it into a second album.” So it was almost accidentally born out of the situation.

SILY: How would you say it’s distinct from the first record?

JP: I’d say the first record is a lot more agitated, if that makes sense. It had a theme where a lot of the songs were about death and entitlement and the combination of death as a result of entitlement. Even though there were a lot of pop songs on it, it was bleak, angry, and fidgety. The fact that I recorded it by myself made it rough around the edges. This second one ended up being gentler, in a way, which was not intentional at all. But maybe it was because I was in a slightly different place from when I wrote the first one. 

I have a wide rage of influences. I grew up listening to a lot of punk and hardcore and still have a love of heavy, fast music and post-punk. Stuff like Devo, B-52s. There’s also a lot of gentle, ambient stuff that I love, and I don’t get a chance to or think to write in that style. Naturally, I ended up writing quite a few more personal, gentle, acoustic songs as well. The first time I’ve really kind of used acoustic [guitar] on any Supermilk stuff.

Nicola [Leel] from Doe, I’m looking after her acoustic guitar while she’s living in the States, and I ended up writing a lot of the songs on that, which helped me play around with full open chords that were jammy and gentle, instead of playing through fuzz pedals all the time. It’s got less spikes and more curves. A bit smoother around the edges. And the lyrics are a lot more personal too, referencing things going on in my life over the last year and a bit.

SILY: You still find room for both the gentler/more personal and the more raw. The former is immediately apparent on the opening track, “Unsafe”, but you still have sharp barbs of guitar on the second and third track, and “Fears” is really fuzzy. Then “Lifesaver” goes back to gentle. Did you try to sequence the album in a way that goes back and forth between different levels of noise?

JP: I’m always quite fussy about the track sequencing. Not so much anymore, but I used to have a thing where I couldn’t have songs together that were the exact same tempo or key. Then I realized that sometimes works against you, because it’s sometimes nice to have two songs in the same key that flow into each other. I used to be way more anal about that. I never write an album in sequence, but ones the songs are mixed, I spend a while putting them into different orders.

SILY: The song “Used To It” is a great closer, but you rarely see the closer issued as the first single. Why did you release it as the first taste of the record?

JP: The first single was really “Pelican Pete”, but we put it out with Specialist Subject before we announced the record because we were keen to get something out there. But with “Used To It”, it’s the most different compared to what I’ve done before. I really liked the idea of putting out a track that wasn’t entirely consistent with what I had done before. It’s one of the more personal songs on the record, too. It weaves a bit of a story and hits a few different places and notes than singles I had put out previously. It’s more chill and gentle. The most downtempo thing I’ve done. I thought it would be interesting instead of releasing the standard guitar ones to let people know, “Here’s something from the record you might not like, just to give you a heads up.”

SILY: Who or what is Pelican Pete?

JP: There’s a song on the first record called “Agony Anne”, a loose story of a serial killer called Anne who meets her victims through Tinder, or “insert name of dating app here.” The story is from the perspective of her soon-to-be victim, and in an attempt to spare their life, they say, “Hang on a second: You must be very lonely doing all this killing on your own. Maybe I can be the person to do this with you. You can spare my life and we can do this together and form a partnership.” “Pelican Pete” is the sequel to that song, and Pete is the person from “Agony Anne”. “Pelican Pete” is from the perspective of Anne, her saying, “This was a bad idea. You’ve gone rogue and are not abiding by my code. You’re gonna get us caught. I’m gonna have to kill you.”

SILY: That’s not a personal story, is it?

JP: I hope not, unless it’s channeling some sort of other life. On the whole, this album is a lot more personal and gentler than the first one, but there are still a few songs on here dealing with death. It would be unusual if there weren’t any songs like that on here, especially considering the time in which I wrote it, where there was a lot of death around us and gnarly shit happening. Also, I’m a big horror fan and have always been fascinated with the slightly more macabre side of things and weird interpersonal relationships that tie into those things as well. Especially when you have a pair of serial killers. It’s interesting to me, this love affair and bond can be tied up in such a sadistic way.

There’s a song on here loosely based on the Heaven’s Gate cult, which I’m also quite fascinated with. So I’d never allow myself to write a completely gentle album, even though it’s more gentle on the whole and definitely shows a softer side. But a big component of my personality remains in the uncomfortable, slightly infatuated with death arena, so it felt right to include those in there too.

SILY: You repeat “You will not be safe” on the first track. Does that go along with the macabre themes?

JP: Not really, actually. One through-line in a lot of the stuff I’ve written is about mental health and my own struggles with mental illness. That song’s more about the fear I have that all of my friends are one day gonna get up and say, “Why have we been friends with this person for so long?” When I actually speak to my other friends or people in general who suffer from generalized anxiety that comes with several different types of mental illness, that kind of fear that someone wakes up and realizes I’m a terrible person, is a common feeling that a lot of people have. “You will not be safe” and the line before that, “Some day you’ll believe me / Some day you’ll release me,” it’s some day you’ll believe me when I keep telling you I’m a piece of shit and not worth it. “You will not be safe” is like, “I’ll still be there--the stain of our friendship will still be on your life.” 

It sounds bleak, but I find this stuff quite funny as well. You’ve got to laugh about your own mental peculiarities. I find them amusing when talking to someone else about them. They’re just floating in my head, so me talking out loud about them is funny. [laughs]

SILY: What’s the purpose of the interlude, “Hale Bopp”, within the narrative of the record?

JP: That’s a portion of a song I made 10-11 years ago. I made a chiptune-esque project that was Nintendo-style bleeps and bloops, emulating a rock band sound made entirely in the computer. It’s a portion of that, been fucked with a little bit, pitch shifted and reversed. “The Skin”, the song I mentioned about Heaven’s Gate, is almost a fictionalized version of it from the point of view of the two last people standing in a suicide cult/pact, looking back over the events that have led up to that point and realizing they’ve got a choice to make. Hale-Bopp was the comet they believed [would transport them] if they took their own lives, if they timed it right and left their own “vehicles”, which is how they referred to their human bodies, that they’d be able to ride the comet back to their alien origins and join the people they left previously. [The song] sounds a bit spacey, and you can listen to that and imagine a bunch of people jumping to a comet and riding back to where they think they come from. Because of the way it’s been reversed and pitch-shifted, it feels melodic and hopeful but sad and tragic at the same time, which is fitting with the themes.

SILY: Are you a fan of contemporary horror films?

JP: I’m a fan of horror all across the decades. I usually reference 80′s horror because the style of it--when effects were starting to be used a lot more and there wasn’t quite as much CGI yet, so there was a gritty feel to the stuff that was happening even thought it was fake, because it was happening in the studio in frame with the actors. Including the gore or creature effects. It forced people to get creative. There’s something special and magical about watching that happen and how it’s captured by the filmmakers. But I’m a big fan of the genre on the whole.

SILY: You’ve shared in your bio that you’re also interested in craft brewing and that you have a day job as a web developer. I normally don’t see bands or band members including that in conjunction with information about the album. Why did you choose to share these things about yourself, whether they pertain to the music or not?

JP: I feel like the vast majority of my friends are musicians, or if not musicians, are involved in the arts in some way. I know one or two people who do music as their job. The eternal struggle, trying to find that right balance--especially if you’re doing music on a small indie level--you can have a fan base and people buying your music and big sold out shows and be established--but there’s still a good chance it’s not gonna be your living. Almost everyone I know subsidizes it with a day job. I thought it would be a nice thing to throw in there because it’s something to be proud of, too. The way most people I know do music, it’s essentially a job even though they don’t get paid for it. They dedicate just as much time to it and put just as much effort into it and care just as much about it than any other job, if not more so. Sometimes I feel like people are ashamed to say they don’t do music full time and can’t call it their job if not making a full-time living from it. It’s nice to get rid of that stigma and say, “We’re all in this together.” We all have to take other jobs we don’t like 100%. It’s good to be honest about it.

The homebrewing was just something to amuse myself. It made me laugh. It read almost like a dating profile or something. [laughs] I actually had another line in there I chose to take out, which is, “His best feature is his butt.” I don’t need to rub the fact that I’ve got a fantastic butt in people’s faces. They’ll figure that out.

SILY: What style of beer do you brew?

JP: I’m actually drinking one right now. I’ve just brewed a very nice stout, about 5.5%. Some nice chocolate, licoricey notes. Chocolate malt and roasted barley. I didn’t actually start brewing that long ago, but...I feel comfortable building my own recipes, putting in different yeasts, etc. There are a couple recipes I go to now that are my own that I can brew very quickly.

SILY: What’s the inspiration behind the album title?

JP: I’m a VHS collector, which is supremely nerdy and very uncool. It’s funny, because in the VHS collecting community, there’s a running joke that hipsters are ruining the hobby because they’re making them too cool. Everybody just wants to buy these rare tapes and take pictures of them just to show off. It’s full of grumpy old guys. It’s such an uncool thing and clunky, redundant bit of technology that any self-respecting hipster probably wouldn’t be caught dead with VHS tapes. Regardless, I’m a big fan, and it lends itself to horror as a genre. They go hand in hand with the way a lot of people discovered horror for the first time, renting movies when they were kids. There’s something about the low-grade, crappy standard definition that lends itself to the grubby, slightly seedy nature of watching an old school horror movie, with scan lines and flickers and dodgy special effects. As a horror fan, it’s a match made in heaven. A lot of the tapes I have, there’s a series of movies colloquially known as the “video nasties.” In the 80′s, they were banned because the conservative government at the time whipped up a big moral panic about violent video tapes corrupting our nation’s youth. Evil Dead, and I Spit On Your Grave. Quite revered movies. Blood Feast. They ended up prosecuted in the UK. Video dealers were raided and their videos confiscated and burned. I’ve got some of the original tapes, and they’re highly sought after now.

This is a very long-winded tangent, but Four by Three is the aspect ratio of VHS. I called it that to loosely describe what the album was about in a nutshell to someone. Mostly from a personal place that follows my journey through the last year of things that have happened to me through the backdrop of the pandemic. The story follows a bit of a timeline, of the pandemic breaking out. One thing that kept me on the sane side at times was shutting myself away and getting very nerdy about this hobby. I had these online friendships to get nerdy about this specific thing, trading tapes and such. It helped take my mind off the absolute shitshow happening around us all. Gave me something to be excited and passionate about. That’s why the record [cover] is a video with tape being loaded into it.

SILY: Do you have any plans to play live?

JP: Not at the moment. I’ve got a lot of friends who have started booking shows already. Doe split up just prior to the pandemic, but if we were still a band, we’d probably be cautiously booking shows. But since Supermilk was never really a band, even though we formed something and had intentions of playing and touring, because it never came to proper fruition, it seems like there’s not as much pressure. It still is my thing, since I call the shots and play all the instruments. If you just want to write music and don’t fancy playing live, there’s not yet the expectation of you that you have to do that. Even though it’s very frustrating we can’t play music yet, and people have been put in a really difficult position and lost their livelihoods, it’s also been refreshing to know that people are able to create music without feeling the need to tour behind a record.

I think it will happen at some point, but I’m not making plans for now. I’m gonna enjoy the record coming out knowing I don’t need to worry too much about playing live for a little bit. When things are even more stable than they are at the moment...I think I want to stand back and watch from afar for a bit, and see what shows look like. Definitely at some point in the next 15 years.

SILY: Anything else next for you in the short or long term?

JP: I’m probably gonna watch some Netflix in a bit. Go to sleep, maybe. Eat a sandwich. Not at the same time.

I’m always writing songs. Whether those go into a pile I’ll use at some point, or whether I feel like I need to record a full-blown demo, I’ll never not be doing that, even if just purely for my own enjoyment and satisfaction. The fact that a few people might hear it is a bonus on top of that.

Continuing to be grateful I get to make music and that I’m alive.

SILY: Anything in particular you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately?

JP: There are two records in particular that came out this year that I really love that I’m finding any opportunity to plug. There’s a band called Fake Fruit that put out a self-titled record earlier this year. They’re from Oakland. They’re snarky post-punk. Every track on it is an absolute banger, exactly the kind of album I wanted to hear this year. There are bits and pieces of it that remind me of Bodega a bit, and that kind of end of post-punk with wry humor and slight wink-wink-nudge-nudge lyrics. The other record is Mr. Goblin’s Four People in an Elevator and One of Them is the Devil.  

I just started watching the Son of Sam documentary on Netflix [The Sons of Sam: A Descent Into Darkness], which is very good. Since I’ve been a small child, I’ve been a true crime, morbid weirdness fan. The only thing I’m annoyed about now is that it’s cool and a commodity. It’s widely accepted and great, but I miss telling people I’m into it and them looking at me in disgust. Gory horror movies still have that edge, where people say, “What’s wrong with you?”

[thelibraryoflazy]

This mix covers multiple perspectives. Track List and basic notes above the cut, additional notes below.

Skull Kid - Sticks and Stones (The Pierces) - And you start to run just as I’m having fun/and it’s awfully hard to stop 

Masks - Human (Daughter) - Underneath this skin there’s a human 

Searching For Navi - Wasting My Young Years (London Grammar) - Maybe I’m wasting my young years/I don’t know what you want/Don’t leave me hanging on 

Clock Town - Bring Night (Sia) - Chase your shadow ‘til the sun goes down 

Southern Swamp - Hard Time In a Terrible Land (Ezra Furman & The Harpoons) - You’ve got rats in the water and bugs in the wood 

Tatl and Link - Plans (Oh Wonder) - Cause all these plans I’ve been making/ get me out of here in time 

Snowhead - Icebox (Rogue Valley) - I feel lucky/ I can see my breath/ Means that I’m still kicking in this icebox/ on the northern edge 

Romani Ranch - Blue Spotted Tail (Fleet Foxes) - Why this frightened part of me that’s fated to pretend? Why is life made only for to end?

Song of Time - Flux and Flow Acoustic (LIGHTS) - We taste the bitter end/and hunger life again/ we take another turn/ with a better hand

Great Bay - The Void (Metric) - But you’re still in the void/ all night/ sing along with the band, but you’re losing your voice 

Clock Town Reprise - Until the Night Turns (Lord Huron) - I had a vision tonight that the world was ending/ and the sky was falling and time was bending 

Ikana Valley - Dark Congregation (The Hush Sound) - Sleeping in the dust/we will not let time erase us 

Link - Never Give Up (Sia) - I’ll find my way, find my way home

The Moon - Midnight Moon (Oh Wonder) - You with the sad smile, don’t lose your courage 

Skull Kid Reprise - Stay Awake (London Grammar) - Stay awake with me/Take your hand and come and find me 

Dawn of a New Day - Good Morning (Amber Run) - But if you run like a child and act like a child/ honestly, what’s there to worry about?

Bonus Post Mix Track - Meet Me in the Woods (Lord Huron) - I took a little journey to the unknown/and I come back changed. I can feel it in my bones// How long, baby, have I been away?/ It feels like ages though you say it’s only days.//Meet me in the woods tonight

This mix took me three years! I don’t listen to a lot of music, and I couldn’t find anything for Southern Swamp for so long. I used to joke about putting Britney Spears’ Toxic in there and calling it a day, but I’m glad I held out. I’m very happy with the final result. Here’s a few extra notes on my song choices.

Skull Kid: I was originally kind of distressed that there's a handful of romantic implications here because I think it's fantastic overall, but I've chosen to interpret them as attention seeking. “Hey loverboy, oh now do you believe me” is a line I imagine Skull Kid saying specifically to Kafei, making fun of him for being in love.

Masks: THIS IS THE MEANEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE

Searching For Navi: THIS IS THE SECOND MEANEST THING I'VE EVER DONE. WASTING MY YOUNG YEARS HOLDS SUCH A PAINFUL CONNOTATION FOR OOT/MM LINK. I don't think he ever finds Navi or even expects to, but looking gives him a purpose. He doesn't know a home or place of belonging, and Navi was the closest thing he had to that and I don’t believe he knows why she left. For the record, I don't know either.

Clock Town: This is a little generic, but I like the imagery and the upbeatness of it. Clock Town starts out very lively and I wanted to capture that. I also wind up thinking about the Rosa sisters waiting for nightfall to dance in the street.

Southern Swamp: For this one I actually dug through the Lore and the poison is coming from Woodfall where the Deku's guardian spirit used to reside, so I feel like the inhabitants calling to a higher power here makes sense. It's also Link's first area and my headcanon is that every area takes multiple cycles for him to see everything and work out exactly what to do and then do it in one cycle so... a hard time.

Tatl and Link: It's not perfect for either of their voices, but getting out of there and getting to Tael carry well, I think. I also LOVE "I don't know where the money goes/ I get broke as the city glows/shines bright as I sink down low" as an interpretation of losing money while going back in time.

Snowhead: This song is what set me on the journey of making this fanmix in the first place. I don’t know whether to be grateful or not. The title is pulled from here because I love contextualizing the story of Majora’s Mask as one continuous motion, for all its circuitous nature.

Romani Ranch: I thought this captured Cremia's perspective kind of well, trying to put on a brave face for her sister and the lights in the night sky can be construed to be talking about the aliens. She also does make a journey into the city in which her wagon is attacked in order to sell her goods.

Song of Time: Also kind of generic, but a good representation of restarting and redoing and learning with the time travel.

Great Bay: Great Bay was also took me a long time to fill, but Lulu waiting up for Mikau who is still in the void even when he 'returns' and losing her voice is GOOD.

Clock Town Reprise: I’m super happy with this as a Last Day Clock Town piece. It was hard to fit when I first found it, but it transitioned really well after the Void.

Ikana Valley: A part of me still thinks I can do better (I ALMOST DID) but I think a ton of the imagery here is great for the restless spirits of the valley both still at war with each other and seeking respite from it.

Link: I wanted to give Link a little conviction here, which is why this song is in the mix and specifically right here. I didn't want it all to be pain. The sound also reminds me a tiny bit of Stone Tower Temple, and I'm all for that.

The Moon: This song also works for the game Ghost Trick. Play Ghost Trick.

Skull Kid Reprise: Skull Kid wanting his friends to come find him is pretty real, and 'I don't have a soul like you do' is just the most Skull Kid thing I've ever heard I swear to god.

Dawn of a New Day: This is very self indulgent, and also mean. It's sort of my call for Link to feel free when he doesn't let everything fall. It's a good morning.

Bonus Post Mix Track: I don’t know that my interpretation of how Link becomes the Hero’s Shade is popular consensus, but either way he goes to the woods post Majora’s Mask and ultimately dies in the Lost Woods (I think he goes there specifically at the end of his life, to the only physical place he has ever known as a home, to die). He... can feel it in his bones.

Bonus bonus tracks: I nearly used Rust (Stalgia) for Ikana as it has some fantastic lyrics “I am a ghost and I live in the dust, I just feel the ache as I start to rust” and “we were in and out but we were upside down”, but there’s kind of a distracting sexual overtone. I couldn’t justify some of the lines in any Ikana related context.

I also nearly used All We Do (Oh Wonder) for Stone Tower Temple for the lines “I’ve been upside down/I don’t want to be the right way ‘round/can’t find paradise on the ground” but ultimately decided there wasn’t enough meat in the rest of the song to put it in.