#am i projecting cuz i don't have a good relationship with my mother and desperately wish i did??

[brandwhorestarscream]

Cybermorph au( Armada)

What if we change the "dead" to "badly injured"? I saw some fans do this

The result would still be Megatron having a reality check with what happened

I'm sad and cranky rn so I'm taking it out on Starscream

I don't remember all the exact details of his death but I do know he's generally hailed as a martyr. Sacrificed himself for the greater good and all that. I'm gonna twist it juuust a bit: he has every intention to die and not just because he thinks it's a necessity. That is part of it, yes, but I like to imagine all the countless years of utter-indifference-to-downright-cruelty from Megatron has made it so he just... doesn't want to be alive anymore. He's a nuisance, an unwanted mistake: he's never done anything to help his hive and his carrier doesn't seem to love him at all. He's tolerated only because their species is already critically endangered. He's a bad morph. He's cripplingly lonely and sad. Cybermorphs are social creatures that need bonds to be healthy, and Starscream just. Doesn't have it. His mental state has spiralled out of control and has finally manifested in the ultimate amalgamation of self loathing and isolation: suicidal ideation.

He's eager--no, desperate--for the pain to finally end. And deep down, more than anything, he hopes dying to save everyone will finally, finally, earn him his carrier's pride and maybe some of his love. It's all he wants. All he's ever wanted.

He's gotten really good at filtering out his own thoughts from the hivemind over the years. Doesn't want to burden them with his angst. But as he's about to throw himself into the metaphorical fire, his filters crack and then dissolve all together: he wants them to know they won't have to tolerate him anymore, and that he's doing it for them. For him. He truly, genuinely hopes this will make his carrier happy.

Megatron suddenly freezes during his final stand off with Optimus. Prime manages to get a hit in and sends him skidding back, but notices the cybermorph queen isn't really looking at him anymore. His face has gone slack, optics wide and horrified, then he promptly turns on a dime and takes off like a bat out of hell, bellowing Starscream's name.

It's too late, though. He can't stop his foolish little morphling even with his most powerful and desperate command as the queen.

He arrives just in time to see him drop, collapsing limp and charred and terrifyingly still, his presnece from the hivemind gone and sparkpulse so faint he seems doomed to blip out before Megatron can even get his hands on him. I'm headcannoning this scene to be similar to the frozen river in Wolf Children--desperate and regretful mother shaking him, hysterical and panicking, begging him to wake up and open his optics. Megatron's lost morphlings before, so, so many before, but not like this. Never like this. They all died at the hands of the autobots, be it in battle or during the early war nest raids. This is new, this is fresh, a special kind of grief and terror he's never been subjected to before. His very last morphling just tried to kill himself. He's shocked. He's horrified. He doesn't know what to do.

Through the power of fanfic and extremely resilient cybermorphs bodies, Starscream survives, but barely. He's in a coma for several decacycles after the fact. There's extensive bodywork to put him back together and stabilize him, but he's still in critical condition. While he's unconscious, he doesn't dream. He doesn't hear anything of the outside world. There's no sensation, no feeling, no nothing. Just the abyss.

When he finally reawakens, he's very disoriented. So stiff he can't even bend his fingers at first, optics open a single micrometer and flinching against even the low light of his recovery chamber. Everything hurts. Everything. Ventilating hurts. Blinking hurts. Trying to turn his neck to look around hurts. Tears bubble up in his optics and he starts very softly sobbing, in agony and disappointed in himself all at once.

What will the queen say? He's going to be in so much trouble. How can he be such a failure that he can't even die properly?! Did they win? Are they safe? He doesn't remember, he doesn't know-

Anxiety and panic bloom in his chassis and he's about 2 seconds away from a whole ass nervous breakdown in his hospital bed.

Then, suddenly, the door opens

His helm jerks to the side to look and white hot pain flares throughout his entire body, lacing down his main spinal strut and setting fire to every single nerve ending and sensory diode in his body. It's too much and he's helpless to stop himself from crying harder, especially when he sees who's just arrived.

The cybermorph queen himself has arrived and Starscream flinches back, trying so hard to cower away from him but his body won't move the way he wants it to, he's so stiff and it hurts so bad and oh stars Megatron's going to kill him for this-

He's expecting a lot of things. For his carrier to yell at him. To ream him the worst he's ever experienced. To be banished from the hive for being so reckless and stupid, or to just be eaten for his transgression. The cybermorphs have never been cannibalistic before, but he wouldn't be surprised if that was deemed a fitting punishment for royally screwing up as much as he has. He's expecting to be ridiculed, hated, screamed at.

He's expecting anything, honestly, aside from what happens. He is in no way shape or form expecting his carrier to cross the room in a single second and throw all 4 arms around him (I uh. Recently found out xenomorph queens have 4 arms. Didn't notice that until 2 days ago. Whoops)

Starscream gasps, shock pulsing through his entire body. He's never been held like this before, never been held at all: his secondary arms are both grasping at his shoulders, holding him close. Main arms have one wrapped around his back, the other cradling his helm and tucking his face close against the queen's chassis.

He's trilling, chirping, blubbering in cybermorph speak. My Starscream, my little morph, I'm so sorry, forgive your foolish carrier for not realizing how you felt. I'm so glad you're alright, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you, but you're safe now. You're ok.

The first time he's ever been held by his carrier. The first time he's ever been spoken to so gently. The first time he's ever been told that he is loved. He doesn't have it in him to be angry, or to feel betrayed: he's so exhausted and in so much agonizing pain, all he can do is melt into the warm embrace and cry. It's the sort of crying wherein every sound is visceral, wet and painful, pouring out every bit of loneliness and devestation and every horrible thing he's had to endure over the years. He clings on, desperately, to Megatron's frame, begging him to say it again. To swear it to be true, that it's really over, that he's never going to have to feel like this again. The queen promises it easily, and holds him tight enough to dent the entire time. Purring at his last remaining morphling, swearing to protect and properly love him forever going forward. Maybe Starscream's connection to the emotional hivemind was weak, maybe it had grown numb in war, but he'd never been privvy to these feelings before. Megatron blames himself and vows to never, ever allow these mistakes to repeat.

...

I'm gonna cut this here cuz it's getting long and I'm tired. This may be exceptionally ooc but I really can't be hecked to care. If you want a follow up of this, uhhh just ask. If you have more thoughts, send em. Im going back to bed lmfao

[fantasyhighdreamerz]

Okay getting into the nitty grittty of what would a romantic relationship look like if Yani and Gorgug got together in highschool. I can see it happening post Zelda (sorry mary ann gurl I love u) during the time that Zelda was with Gorgug, Yani would've been bullying her due to being jealous that she was dating Gorgug in the first place. So during that time she'd swoop in to try to get him to notice her once they broke up.

The one thing about Yani is that her romantic pursuit of him is sincere. It's honest, unlike all the other times she's been in a relationship with other boys.

She's been taught by her mother that men are to be used. Use them first, let them think they have power over you and once they are outlived their usefulness discard them and move onto the next man. A never ending cycle until she's 'reached' the top. Not that Yani really knows what the top is, just that her mothers lust for power is all consuming. Do not get me started on Yani's sexuality her mother has manipulated her into thinking being queer isn't real and it's all a play for social relevance. (Yani is bisexual.)

She puts Gorgug on a pedestal, to her he is the only 'good' man. Simply because he hadn't fallen for any of her 'seductions' that he, no matter how rare, has talked to her without lingering sexual gaze. Spoken to her as a person instead of what she was taught to expect from boys. He's awkwardly endearing in her eyes, and she finds she wants that. She'd be pretty possessive of him, and we already know she's obsessed with him. Once they are together she talks about him constantly to her party about how sweet he is, how adorable he is, how much she loves him, just always BRAGGING about this guy.

Yani would gas him up constantly. If you've seen that post "Hey my boyfriend is about to walk in here if you don't clap for him I will kill everyone in this room then myself" that's her basically. Even the mistakes he makes she finds a way to praise him. She looks at him as if he's personally hung up the moon and stars which I feel would put a huge pressure on him, and make his imposter syndrome worse. Yet, I feel he'd be a bit addicted to the praise, you know? not to mention the fact he'd enjoy talking about the barbarian classes with her.

Gorgug really opens her eyes to a lot of things- especially when she starts to get to know him. Kinda makes her realize that men have personalities outside of sex lmao. like whoa a human man is a person?? also queer people exist? it's like a shock to her system being made aware that there is a world outside of the one she has been trapped in.

Anyway they would totally break up later no matter how hard she tried to keep him by her side and she would have a melt down. 👍 would promptly fall into a depressive episode all these paper masks of cool popular chick have melted away to the deeply insecure girl that's inside. She'd toil over ways to get him to come back, the sight of her desperation almost sickening. "What am I without you?"

He has opened so many doors, she has seen his likes, his interests, his loves and projects has learned so much and now she's just left with these memories. Memories of him.

Btw we know Yani had a screaming match with her mom over Gorgug cuz her mom wants him out of the picture and- well Yani doesn't want to give him up. Someone may die. An Yani's mom hopes it's Gorgug while Yani herself might just end up killing her mother 👍

As you can expect in my canon arc for her she learns how shallow her thinking is because she grows a close bond with the members in her party. I think it's deeply important for deep platonic bonds to be explored and shown to be just as important as romantic ones. And it's the bonds with her friends that help her find her way off of this path of destruction.

The path of destruction is literal as she almost gets taken over by a a celestial being due to her pent up anger, confusion, and inadequacies. The goddess in question has no name yet, but I was thinking of basing it off of female rage, betrayal, and uncertainty. All things that Yani embodies thus making her the perfect host in a way.