#am i overthinking this? probably yeah
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Uhhh Elias stuff, twisted from no one, he's just a guy !! Since I draw my twst ocs once every century each I'll link his introduction here
Basically an ignihyde student w/ a prosthetic arm (upgraded by idia) and a nature based unique magic + something something "I'm the better hunter here !!" (he is miserably failing at it) Trying to step out of my comfort zone in art context wise and mere text makes my whole being cringe and retract on itself like grafield's face after unsweetened lemonade... So I left it in French, ough
#Twisted wonderland#Twst oc#ignihyde oc#That's enough for the next three months I'm going back to shitposting#Uhh french text from an opera but tbh I don't even like opera that much#However !! I am now motivated to make a classical music twst playlist for every dorm/characters + art if motivated enough !!#so expect that someday !!#classical music is the only genre I don't feel insecure sharing hhh I love music but yeah I overthink it probably#wanted to fully color + render the elias close up but uhgh it takes time and I got my hands on elden ring so...
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SxF 96 Analysis: Some Small Details About the Reveal
Ok, hear me out. I haven't even read the manga for Spy x Family (yet); I've only watched seasons 1 and 2 of the anime, but I've somehow stumbled upon spoilers for the last two chapters (ch. 95 and ch. 96), and other small bits here and there.
And since I am not totally caught up on the story, I hesitate to call this a proper analysis since I'm mostly going off of what I know from the anime at this point. But!
I've been following the chatter and excitement following chapter 96 and I just wanted to throw this quick analysis out there, since I haven't seen some of these details mentioned yet.
So, I'm going to focus on this particular moment, just for what it is. Down the line, after catching up and having all of the character and story details, I might revisit this scene again with additional insight.
Of course, I'm sure we've all seen this panel at this point.
At first glance, this panel is beautifully drawn. You can tell that it was drawn with a lot of care and attention to detail. Typically, such manga panels are used to emphasize the fact that this is an important moment for these characters and/or the story.
There are even bits of confetti(?) flying around them, reminiscent of cherry blossom petals; this is another known technique used in manga to indicate the emotional importance of a scene for the characters featured.
That all feels pretty obvious, I'm sure. But I also wanted to point out other small details given here, which could potentially add another layer to this scene for folks.
I've seen a lot of discussion around how Anya's admission here is a big deal (and it is). But I haven't seen anyone mention the small detail here that she whispers, "I can read people's minds."
I believe that is also why we see that speech bubble transparently -- to visually show us the softness of her voice in that moment (in addition to representing Anya's willingness to be transparent about herself).
However, let's consider the conversation up until this moment. Right before, Damian had jokingly asked her, "How did you know about my dog and the pond, anyway? What, did you read my mind or something?!"
Of course, he was not expecting Anya to say, "Yes". But it's not the fact that Anya said, "Yes" that makes this scene impactful. Anya could have easily said the exact same words, at normal volume, with a smirk on her face, and nobody would think twice about it. Damian would have immediately understood that she was teasing him. And anyone overhearing their conversation would have thought the exact same thing.
But that isn't what happened. Because Anya was serious in that moment. With a genuine expression on her face, she says, "Yes" and then she whispers her secret to him.
And that is what shocks Damian. That is what causes him to freeze.
In that moment, he's able to sense her sincerity and hear the truth in her words.
His gut reaction is to believe her, whether it's because it's Anya or because of how she said it. It isn't until he has a second to think and his brain kicks into gear that he starts to notice the disparity between what he knows to be true and what Anya is telling him. In a split second, he questions this, and then ultimately rejects the notion that she could be telling the truth.
Why?
The obvious answer would be that what she's told him does not line up with what he knows to be true of reality. The rational and logical part of his brain overrides his heart and his gut, ultimately recognizing this disparity and forcing him to reject Anya's claims.
However, they are at a young enough age that it wouldn't be uncommon to easily believe in "impossible" things like magic or superpowers. So, there's also a chance that it goes a bit deeper than this.
Perhaps this sudden display of sincerity and truth from Anya didn't line up with her typical behavior with him. He's not used to seeing that side of her, and as a result, his mind resorts to him thinking that she's lying to him. He thinks that she's just teasing him. Not only because that's what he expects from her, but also because the only other alternative would be for him to admit that they've just shared a true moment of openness and transparency between them.
Anya's whisper implies, "this is only for you to know." As a defense mechanism, Damian's brain decided that it was more likely that Anya was teasing him than it was that she was being vulnerable with him in that way.
Another detail from this moment stems from the fact that this reveal takes place while they are dancing together. Partner dancing is an activity that requires cooperation and teamwork. At first, we see Damian and Anya struggle with getting the hang of it, but eventually they start working together.
That, in itself, seems to be a fairly good representation of their relationship with each other. However, even more so, it follows the flow of their conversation in this moment. It isn't until they start cooperating that they start to open up to one another.
And the pinnacle of the conversation -- the reveal -- happens at the exact moment when Damian dips her. Not only does this make for a picturesque panel, but it is also a symbolic visual of what's happening.
Dipping your dance partner inherently requires a level of trust. The person being dipped has to literally put themselves in their partner's hands. Depending on the dip, they are giving up varying levels of control and safety over to their partner. They have to trust that their partner won't drop them, or bring them too close to the floor; they have to give up their balance and trust that their partner can hold the weight that they're giving up. And their partner takes on the responsibility and burden of that person's trust (as well as trusting that the person that they're dipping does not throw themselves around carelessly).
And here, in this scene, despite the bickering we see Anya and Damian do, we see that there is at least that small amount of trust between them. Anya trusts Damian to dip her, and Damian trusts Anya to be dipped.
But underneath the surface level, the fact that Anya whispers her secret to Damian while he's dipping her reinforces the idea that she trusts him with that knowledge. In that moment, she gave up some of her own control and safety, and placed it in Damian's hands. Only his. Her whisper implies, "this is only for you to know." And he's been given the responsibility and burden of deciding whether to hold it, or drop it.
#am i overthinking things? yeah probably#i reserve the right to change my mind after catching up and having a better understanding of their characters and the story lol#spy x family chapter 96#sxf 96#spy x family 96#damianya#anya x damian#sxf#sxf spoilers#spy x family#damian x anya#sxf analysis#my analysis#original post#sxf original#tags#read more#manga#sxf ch 96#spy x family ch 96#sxf manga#spy x family manga#sxf manga spoilers#spy x family manga spoilers#damian desmond#anya forger
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let’s do some autistic meta knight headcanons!! over explaining my interpretation of meta knight yet again wooooo
this orb has NO idea how to talk to people!!! outside of work anyway. a lot of this is partially due to upbringing (suppressing his emotions all the time) but he does not know how to express emotions, like…at all.
this goes into a few things
1. yeah talking is hard. even after figuring out what he wants to communicate he will struggle. conversation can be so overwhelming, especially under pressure. he will need time lol
2. because of that, forming connections is hard. i really don’t think meta is much for shallow relationships, and certainly not early in the timeline. which also means he has very little experience with friendship. so a lot of the relationships he did have went kinda neglected, and issues that probably could’ve been worked on by talking became…*cough romk* escalated.
3. honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if meta convinced himself he couldn’t feel emotion (anymore) until like. katam-ish. he tried very hard lol
vulnerability is terrifying. (though this gesture here is also just comforting, like his little cape cocoon thing he does.)
unmasking—yeah im taking the mask thing very literally here—is a big deal and a very slow process for mk. i’m sure he has a lot of feelings on that lol. it served as a way to ensure no one could ever, y’know, see him.
i can’t say i think he’d ever fully ditch it—there’s always gonna be some days that are more stressful than others and if having it could help him get through it, it just makes sense. mainly when working.
it really is about vulnerability. granted, i don’t think he has the most expressive face (in my head every astral just tends to stare at things) but i doubt he has much control over it. can’t fake a smile but also can’t hide it. probably blushes easy because yeah, astrals; just look at kirby’s face.
just the idea that someone might be able to read his expression and know what he’s feeling before he’s ready for them to (or even understands it himself…) yeah he doesn’t want that
but emotional turmoil aside, i think his mask also hides a lot of his stims
remember that whole “suppressing your feelings” thing? yeah turns out that ignoring half your instincts isn’t a good idea. so in true meta knight style, he tries to stim as subtly as possible
1. he has the least control over his wings, so they will flick and twitch on their own. they’re usually a good indicator of how he’s feeling, not unlike the body language usually seen in cat ears and tails lol. flapping is also an extension of this of course, though he probably suppresses it more.
2. this also effects when he takes his wings out. pretty much every time he’s excited or nervous it just happens. kinda makes me wonder if his wing cape ordeal might also go into the suppression thing… (i’d say yes, but using a cape is also very comforting so it’s not necessarily a bad thing)
3. going back to the mask thing; he stims a lot underneath it. think like biting or pursing your lips. he bites his tongue and clicks his mouth. that sort of thing. his mask also makes it harder to notice that he is constantly sighing, humming, grumbling…all that
one nice thing about the mask though is that it helps a little bit with lights!!! woo
(look at him and his magically floating glasses)
sensory stuff—i think he’s mostly bothered by light and sound. maybe a bit of texture. he’s pretty sensory avoidant and perfectly happy standing off to the side not touching anything.
the one exception to this is physical affection, which is, despite all of this, most of how he shows affection. it’s a lot easier to hug someone than to try to explain your feelings for them, after all.
i think he would like pressure though. so that’s probably part of it. and i’m pretty sure there’s some connection in here to fighting (dang, is that the only way he knows how to get his energy out?)
anyway, pretty much all of this is in contrast to kirby, who i would gladly nominate as the champion of Doing Whatever He Wants. he might pick up a few bad habits, but he will never mask the way meta knight does. he might not understand how he feels, but he’s in tune enough to express it…usually.
this is a very good thing for meta because it helps him to do the same thing. kirby’s so energetic, it’s hard to not want to stim with him. it reminds meta to be kinder to himself and explore his own emotions. he can also help kirby understand themselves, so this connection is very important.
yeah, at the end of the day, everything kinda just boils down to kirby and mk as parallels
this is the conclusion i promise
to me, meta’s arc is about growing stronger by growing kinder, and this is mostly by learning to be kind to himself. letting himself be a person again, loving and understanding other people, and eventually, letting go of all the expectations placed on him and doing the things he’s always wanted to do…
autism headcanons are fun for me because it’s cathartic to write, but at the same time, it just makes sense in this sort of narrative. meta is, to me, inseparable from these things. and so is kirby! that’s a dynamic that’s a lot of fun to play with, and it’s at the heart of my kirby interpretation.
if you actually read all this WOW thank you
#i almost considered not posting this on a wednesday but then i wrote everything and uhhh yeah i think i gotta so#happy cringe day wednesday#for as many notes as i have on these characters i really don’t talk about it much#but meta knight is a special case because i am terrible at subtlety and he wouldn’t be meta knight without it#so this is to contextualize some things#because of what ill have in the next few days haha#basically these are just things i consider when writing meta#but a lot of it is subtextual and i dont know how well it comes across#kirbyposting#kirby#meta knight#headcanons#autism headcanon#this is practically an essay lol oops#i have like 2/3 of a fic that explores most of this in a way i probably won’t do again#but we’ll see if i ever finish it#god kirby concepts are so fun to chew on#i overthink everything i make so much lol
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thank you for the tag!!
3 ships: jonmartin (the magnus archives), rosemary (homestuck), klapollo (ace attorney)
first ever ship: well that's a difficult one, i think ash/serena (aka amourshipping), from pokemon? they were the first ship i remember being actively invested in
last song: "Darkened Streets" from the homestuck album Prospit & Derse by Solatrus. i keep a specific playlist as background music for when i'm writing and i was indeed writing a moment ago (i'll get back to it i just remembered i had tag games in my drafts and wanted to do them)
last movie: White Christmas, it's my favorite christmas movie and it was playing in my town's theater so i went to go see it on the big screen
currently reading: i was reading 1776 by david mccullogh for a history assignment; never actually finished the book though. though if you wanna get technical i was re-reading This Lonely Knight by arthureameslove on ao3 earlier today, it's a very good jmart fic i highly recommend it
currently watching: it's more apt to say "currently listening," but Malevolent! i'm on part 11, and i plan to catch up on it as well as Welcome To Night Vale over winter break
currently consuming: nothing at the moment; the last thing i ate was a bowl of spaghettios
currently craving: honestly? nothing
tags: @kidpickarus @genderfuckelijahvolkov @biwonderland98 @proudfreakmetarusonniku @supertinytins @robinsatthedisco @omniscientqueer @they-thespian666 @cosmicfurby (if you want, of course! no pressure)
Tag 9 people you want to get to know better
Tagged by @hylianengineer
Thx for the tag :))
3 ships: percabeth, catradora, kou x aoba
First ever ship: Naruto x Hinata. I NEVER thought they were gonna be canon as a kid so when they got together in the end it was pretty mind-blowing haha
Last song: I think it was "Devil Town" by Cavetown. Oh wait no it was the "From Up On Poppy Hill" soundtrack
Last movie: The Swimmers
Currently reading: "A Queer History of the United States - For Young People" by Michael Bronski & Richie Chevat (it's pretty simplified ngl but if anyone's looking for an easy-read option, this one has been VERY helpful for my tumultuous attention span and has so far been interesting & informative)
Currently watching: rewatching Arcane with my parents, rewatching BTVS with my little brother, and rewatching Snow White with the Red Hair with my dad
Currently consuming: I fuckin wish. No tasty snacks readily available for me atm :[
Currently craving: cheesy salty snack. Ooo cheeto puffs
@evies20dollars @victas-art @onehappyhungrydarkdragon @yrbeecharmer @trollisgirl @sarahsedserio @i-am-anna @bipidin @entropy-sea-system if you want to
#tag game#hhhhhgh whenever i do these things i always feel like i tag the same people#i have three tumblr tabs open rn: 1) this post's draft 2) my followers list 3) my 'tag game' tag#so that i can tag different people from last time#am i overthinking this? probably yeah#am i going to keep doing tag games this way? also probably yeah#i don't really know any of you and i don't want to be annoying
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Here’s that thing I spontaneously started writing for some reason. I go where my whims and capricious focus take me. I got sick of editing and rereading so I’m just posting it. This is set in the DDAU. It’s not long after things got worked out between the two sets of Dingsasters. Maybe a couple months. Windy is struggling.
Edit: changed it so the signed dialogue is no longer in italics sincee it’s the primary language.
————
“You know, in my world, you are a bartender as well.”
Grillby eyed the human man sitting as his bar. He was flushed, a sure sign that he was officially buzzed. Grillby knew this instantly, despite the man never having drank here before. After all, Gaster— his Gaster— was the same way: his face flushed when he drank. Of course this man was the same; The two were the same person, after all.
That was what Gaster— Wingdings— said, anyway. And, truth be told, Grillby could see it. This human had the same mannerisms, the same gestures, the same posture, the same expressions, the same name signs. If that alone weren’t enough, there was another monster with a human counterpart: Asteri. He hadn’t know the woman well, really, before all this. If he had stopped to think, perhaps he might have recalled seeing her as a little girl with her parents, half a century ago, but the family didn’t visit Snowdin often, and visited his restaurant even less. Besides, shapeshifters were easy to mistake.
The main reason he could use her and her human counterpart as evidence that this whole “alternate universe” business was real was that he had re-met her, now as an adult studying dog language in Snowdin, right around the same time that his best friend of over 400 years nervously introduced him to a human he was sheltering, who had the same name. Not only the same name, but the same voice, the same hair, the same style of dress, the same mannerisms, and the same alcohol preferences. The reasonable conclusion was that it was simply a particularly strange coincidence, but no, things with Gaster were never that simple these days. Of course it was something absurd like an alternate universe. The skeleton had always been a little too trusting— even of humans, even after everything— so Grillby initially took the story with a grain of salt. But as time went on, and Gaster spent more time with her, apparently details that reinforced the factuality of it came to light.
Not that Grillby saw either of them often. That was simply the nature of his friendship with Gaster, after so many years: long stretches of silence, occasional visits that picked up as if no time had passed, and, every once in a while, periods of frequent and excited contact. Those tended to happen during high stress situations, intense lows, or major breakthroughs. He would have assumed that sheltering a human would have been a large enough event to merit frequent contact, but no, nothing much came of it. And he, like always, never pushed. So when the next time the two visited, months later, and they held hands, well… that was Gaster’s business. But he believed his friend’s explanation about different universes, and just like when they asked him the first time, he agreed to keep an eye out for another human.
Except he didn’t see one. Not until nearly a year after his initial introduction to the human Asteri, when Gaster introduced a lanky, disheveled human man. Grillby had heard the announcement, of course, just like everyone else: that there were two humans living in the underground, and they were not to be harmed. He hadn’t thought much of it at the time besides being relieved Gaster would no longer need to hide the woman he obviously had feelings for, that she had apparently found her friend, and that both of them were so peaceful in comparison to the last time a human had fallen, decades ago.
Meeting this second human, all things considered, Grillby should not have been surprised when his oldest friend introduced him as his own alternate self. Despite this, he immediately felt an odd sort of defensiveness well up on Gaster’s behalf. Grillby and the human man had stared at each other for a few moments, both processing this meeting. Then, something had clicked for the human, and the precise way he lit up with that dumb idiot grin was so familiar, so immediately recognizable, Grillby barely needed any more evidence to be convinced.
Oh, sure, he had about a million questions about the whole situation between the four of them— two Asteris, and two Gasters, all of whom had now met each other, apparently— but they would tell him what they needed to, when they felt ready. He didn’t ask questions. This many years of bartending and people-watching had given him both the ability to read people and the patience to mind his own business and wait for an explanation. People loved to talk, and there were far more ways to say something than with words. He was the silent companion, always there to listen but never to pry. A keeper of secrets, and a staunch minder of his own business.
Nothing about today had seemed especially different, except that the human Gaster had wandered in all on his own a while ago, hesitant but trying not to seem uneasy. (Trying to hide it was futile though; Grillby had known his counterpart for centuries and could read his body language like a book.) But he said nothing as was his custom, simply nodded in greeting and acknowledgement, and let the man sit where he liked and order if he wished.
It had been nearly a 40 minutes by now, with naught a word but to order something Grillby wasn’t familiar with, then brandy as a reluctant compromise, and two refills. Only now, nursing that second refill, had the man finally lifted his head and signed anything beyond that.
“You know, in my world, you are a bartender as well.”
Grillby eyed him. That was certainly one way to start a conversation. It was indeed tempting to take the bait and tug the line, but he had many years of patience. He waited silently, as always.
The man sighed inaudibly and studied Grillby with a sort of look he had seen before. Asteri— the human one— always treated him with an odd sort of familiarity when she visited (which was more often than he expected, frankly), as if she already knew him. Sometimes he caught her looking at him with what he had long since learned to recognize in patrons as nostalgia. Bittersweetness. Except hers was a little different in a way he could never put a finger on. She never said anything though, and as a bartender he never asked. Now it made a little more sense: he had a counterpart too, and the two humans knew him.
That look was different on this face, though. Where Asteri looked a little sad, but mostly fond, this human version of Gaster looked far more stricken.
“You are quiet there, too.”
Human Gaster smiled a little, but it slipped almost immediately.
“Not quite this quiet, though.”
He swirled his drink around and stared at it for a moment before taking another sip.
“You used to be quite reactive, when we first met.” He chuckled, just once. “You are still learning to keep your expression neutral when customers say outrageous things. You were getting much better at it.” A bright, genuine smile split the gloom he was projecting, for a moment. “You opened your own restaurant, much like this one! It was just taking off… when Asteri and I fell.”
The smile was gone just as quickly, replaced by an even more despondent expression.
“I was supposed to visit. We moved away, after university. I had to cancel my trip…” He sighed. “No. I did not need to. You were coming to visit us the following month, and so I reasoned…”
The human blinked watery eyes and laid against his arm on the bar, hands falling still.
“I wonder what you thought,” he signed after a few moments, small like a whisper, and a few tears rolled onto his arm. “When we disappeared.” He blinked slowly, looking somewhere that wasn’t here. “I wish I could tell you I am safe. That I am sorry. I wish…” His eyes watered anew and his jaw quivered. “…I could tell you that I miss you.”
He rolled his head so his face was pressed into his sleeve, and sniffled softly.
Grillby stared at him, genuinely surprised for the first time in a while.
Oh.
This man— they called him “Windy” —was undeniably Gaster, but Grillby had only acknowledged that fact on its own. But it didn’t exist in a vacuum. This wasn’t just “now there’s a human Gaster too.” This was also “Gaster thrown into a strange new place,” “Gaster grieving something enormous,” and right now, most of all, “Gaster without his best friend.”
He knew how his Gaster— Wingdings— was. He knew how bad things were when they were young, how much he needed support. After so many years, he knew it wasn’t self-absorbed or presumptuous to say that Wingdings needed him. It was mutual. Of course it was. No longer needing to constantly be around each other didn’t change the fact that once upon a time, they only had each other. It didn’t change how integral they were to each other’s lives, even to each other’s development as people.
So what if Wingdings just disappeared?
What if the last time he visited really was the last time?
What would he do if his best friend and only anchor throughout the centuries were suddenly gone? No explanation, no clues, nothing.
Sparks, he’d be devastated. Heartbroken would be an understatement.
And if it had happened back then, when they were both still settling into who they were? Grillby wouldn’t even be the same person. Wingdings just another monster erased after the war, but the only one he’d been side-by-side with through it all; the reason he hadn’t allowed himself to succumb to the numbness that came with killing; the person who had kept him kind, kept him compassionate. The only friend he’d allowed himself to have in a world where caring had always, inevitably gotten him hurt.
He would have been utterly inconsolable.
But Wingdings, Wingdings was far more tender-hearted. He took every loss so hard, every time, even after more than four centuries. Grillby couldn’t imagine Wingdings would ever be alright if anything happened to him. Not now, not back then. No partner could ever fill the space they took up in each other’s lives. No happiness could replace each other’s friendship. It wasn’t a romantic thing; They had just known each other longer than anyone else.
Grillby blinked, mentally shaking himself out of his thoughts, and glanced around his restaurant. It was sparser than usual, being a weeknight. His attention turned back to the human in front of him. He may not know Windy, but he knew Gaster. He may have a policy of silence, but he always made an exception for his friend.
He scooped a glass of ice and nudged Windy’s arm with it. Windy lifted his head just enough to look up with bleary, red eyes. The ice in the glass was half melted when he reluctantly took it.
“If Gaster disappeared, I’d be pissed," Grillby signed flatly as the glass was taken. Windy wilted again. Grillby's expression didn't change, but a crimson shimmer of worry and guilt flickered through his flames. "Wouldn't think bad of him though."
Windy searched his face, probably struggling to read it, as most people did. Fire elementals didn’t tend to have a lot of facial expressions; it had more to do with brightness, intensity, and color. Most monsters didn’t know that. A human from a world without monsters certainly wouldn’t. Indeed, Windy didn’t seem to find whatever he was searching for, and his eyes fell once more as he sipped his ice water.
“I’m sorry for unloading this on you.”
His signs ran together and stayed close to his body, like he was muttering.
“This must be so uncomfortable for you. I- I apologize for being so selfish. I should not have come and said all this.”
He made to get up, shoving his hand in his pocket to fish for his wallet. Grillby reached out to grasp his shoulder, stopping him. He looked up. Grillby paused, not entirely sure what he had intended by this gesture. Seeing Windy sad like this was like seeing Wingdings from long, long ago. It made his heart ache.
“Not selfish,” he said. Another moment of hesitation, then, “It’s good you came. Stay.”
Windy’s jaw trembled again, and once more Grillby was struck by how uncannily similar his expressions were to Wingdings’, somehow, despite having skin and muscle. Windy hesitated, torn. “I should get home…”
It was a weak protest, and Grillby knew Gaster well enough to know when he needed to be pushed and when he needed to be left to it.
“Sober up first.” A reasonable excuse.
Windy hesitated once again, but then nodded and got back on his barstool.
He took another sip of ice water.
Grillby wiped out a cup.
It must be strange, he thought, to meet someone who you know, but who doesn’t know you. If he were in Windy’s position…
He set the cup aside and eyed the other man once more. “How do I look?”
Windy looked up, confused.
Grillby nodded toward him with his head. “Human.”
“A-Ah! Well…” The other man cracked a smile. Success. “You are shorter, but otherwise have the same build. You have pale skin, and freckles. You keep your hair long, except in summer. It is usually tied in a high ponytail. It is wavy, and—” He chuckled softly— “fiery orange.”
A sliver of violet wove its way up through Grillby’s flames, and he crackled pleasantly. After a moment of consideration, he leaned forward closer and dimmed, just a little, pointing to his face. Windy squinted in the heat, but after a second his eyes widened and he grinned.
“Freckles! I did not realize you could—” He caught himself and waved his hands sheepishly. “Ah! That is to say, I know so little still, I find that my reasoning frequently returns to the principles of my own universe. I was not aware that a being made of fire could… could have freckles.” His smile split his face despite himself.
There was a flicker of violet in Grillby’s flames. “What else?”
Windy lit up even more. “We are the same age, but while I am often mistaken as being older, you have a “baby face.”” He giggled a little. “You cannot grow facial hair save for patches of stubble, either, and we have had more than one silly argument about it. In university, you would come home and complain about how many customers asked if you were old enough to be tending a bar to begin with.”
Grillby raised nonexistent eyebrows. “We lived together?”
“Yes, for a few years. You see, the living arrangements on campus…”
⁂
By the time Windy left, it was late. He was smiling though, and that made Grillby feel better. By then, Grillby had learned many things about his human counterpart and the world this other Gaster had once lived in. He learned that human Grillby liked the cold weather too, preferring snow over sun; that his name there was a nickname (his real name was Gilbert); and that there was no war they’d ever had to fight, only academic and social struggles. It sounded like a much nicer past.
Grillby had told him to come back soon— they needed to settle on a different way to sign his name, after all, so it wasn’t the same as Wingdings’. Windy eagerly agreed; both of them being “Dr. Gaster” to everyone at work was difficult enough.
“You can pick me a new one,” Grillby had offered as well. “If you want.” He shrugged. “Don’t have to.”
It seemed that Windy liked the idea. He had launched into over-explaining himself immediately upon agreeing though, as if Grillby would be offended by it when he was the one who brought it up. He held a hand up to stop him. “I already know.”
He was Grillby, but wasn’t Windy’s Grillby. It was as simple as that. That fact wouldn’t change. They knew different versions of each other who had lived very different lives. At the heart of it all, though, they were the same, and that was what mattered. There was nothing he could do about this other Grillby, no replacing him, just like Windy could never replace Wingdings. They didn’t have the same history. They weren’t each other’s oldest and dearest companions. No. But they could still be friends. It was a start.
#seeker writes#I will probably come back and edit this after posting. as I tend to do.#writing this was super weird for some reason#I couldn’t manage to convey the feeling I wanted.#not nearly enough#y’know how ‘flavored’ sparkling water tastes like it was just NEAR some fruit? this tastes like it was just NEAR the feeling.#plus I don’t have Grillby’s voice very well defined in my head yet so it’s hard to write him.#i’ll get there#But he isn’t nearly as analytical or as much of an overthinker as Asteri or Gaster (or Alphys).#And as anyone who’s read anything I’ve ever written will know: I am extremely long-winded. I over-explain#It’s really hard not to do that.#oh well. at least I wrote something#borrowed the idea of different color flames indicating different emotions from copper-skulls btw bc they write it so well#WRITING GOALS HONESTLY#Lupik if you see this: yeah that’s right. I’m saying nice things about you. What are you gonna do about it?#(/lighthearted and silly)#double dingsaster au#⁂ humans#⁂ au#windy#grillby
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I need more killjoys fics and headcanons about how they deal with basic normal stuff like periods or whatever. Like I doubt these desert gays have access to any regular products like tampons or pads, and like what would they use for cramping? It's not like they have Advil/Midol and a heating pad at their disposal whenever.
#maybe im overthinking this#its 7 am and i haven't slept#but i need#please guys im begging to know#like yeah they probably rarely get them because of excess exercise and poor diet but please i beg#tato was dropped on their head as a baby and it shows#the true lives of the fabulous killjoys
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Also yeah uh I have a friend coming over but like, this is a Grown Up friend that I made as an Adult. And I'm the only person home. So suddenly this is less "bringing a friend round after school" and more "welcome to my humble home :) I am a human person who Lives Here :)" and let me tell you I am overthinking this in like. 8 different directions
#lostwood.txt#i wanna be a Good Host for the hour they're planning to visit#they're nice! it'll be chill! unfortunately i have Zero Fucking Chill.#i am so deeply ashamed of the way my family live bc it is genuinely abysmal but I've done my best to like. clean up#but there's only so much i can do!! like !! hi yes sorry i know we've lived here 7 fucking years no we don't have floors#yeah we have tea but my parents only drink the kind you buy like 280 bags for £2 so it's probably terrible#i need to go to the shop bc i don't use regular milk (cries in dairy intolerance)#but there's no where round here you can go for lunch since the library cafe shut down#so ??? :)???#i don't think they realise how not good my part of town actually is#like it'll be Fine. I'm overthinking to fuck.#but oh man. stress noises
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Chris works in a different room than Right, Brent, and Karen so he just pops in and is like "Karen why does it feel so tense in here and it's dead silent please help me" and Karen is just done with the two guys so she's just "this is my work environment now thanks for noticing".
#my characters#there is actually a point where right is like IM GONNA BE BRAVE and he pats brent on the shoulder as like good job#and its so huge for him bc hes p much anti contact for years and so hes like#yeah but NORMAL PEOPLE who arent carrying all this trauma are probably normal BUT#not only do I HAVE TRAUMA but BRENT HAS BEEN DEPRESSED AND ISOLATED HIS WHOLE LIFE#and so he overthinks about everything involving contact and so when he wonders how brent looks with different hair#he just goes into silent mode and doesnt express anything hes just like no thats clearly crossing 100 lines of personal space#i am unable to do this or else i will be banned from contact after finally allowing it#this is the worst day of my life and thats v impressive considering my childhood being what it was
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Tonight, right now, not even ten minutes ago, might have been the closest I got to an outright hatecrime
#morningtalks#Ask to tag#<- I have no clue what I'd have to tag this tbh#But for the story.#Me and my friend (crush) are walking at two am after quite the night. I am fully sober but she's got a few drinks and is just tired now#Like we're walking in silence she's just done type of tired#(part of me worries I was too in love with her tonight but I will do my best to rationalize it as Her Being Tired and not my fault somehow)#But yeah we're walking there and we see/hear a bunch of guys that are clearly not on their first drink#They plan to go to the bar we were so I'm glad we left but they are full on far right singing slogans about getting the leftists out#We cross each other on the street and they immediately begin asking us if we're lefties but then they see my pins#And the fact that we're two girls walking alone and assume we're both lesbians#Ify I obviously am. I have Pins lmao but my crush is not (?)#But yeah I had heard their slogans from afar and had already grabbed my scissors discretely in case something happened#I was genuinely just getting myself ready to fight them all just to leave my friend a chance to run if possible#But I was genuinely scared for her (and also for me but I have a bad habit of prioritizing others' wellbeing and especially here)#So they think we're lesbians and immediately start yelling they don't like lesbians and some other hurtful stuff#But it didn't fully enter my brain. I genuinely don't care#But I was still very afraid they DO something#Luckily they just walked away and we were left in peace but I was genuinely ready to do literally anything to not let my friend get hurt#By these men#I might see her a bit tomorrow. Probably not a lot but we'll see each other#And she doesn't seem to mind too much (she thought we'd see each other next week for class obviously and said “til next week”#(translated quite literally))#I thanked her for the evening still but I genuinely think she just needs to sleep and I don't have to overthink everything that happened#In the end#The first hours of the night were AMAZING though. Genuinely never been closer to her than there I adored every second of it#(and the other people were fun too but. She. Yano)#Anyways I have a thing at 11 I'll go sleep before being fully dead for that thing#But I might genuinely have a delayed reaction on those last events tomorrow#But now I gotta sleep too
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back in septmeber i got some kind of attack in the middle of lab so they sent me to the ER because they didn't want to take chances with me dying from chemicals but still made me pay the hospital fees myself. then i still had to go back the next week to finish my lab. then bad news happened last week and my. lab report is so fucking late. all these penalties. it will be worth fucking nothing. what did i go to the ER for they should have just let me die there #tbh
#i assumed it was some panic attack not sure all i knew was my heart was beating fast even though my emotions were calm#and i was red like a lobster#oh yeah all that time and waiting to go to the ER doctor and showing him list of chemicals i worked with#and paying medical fees#just for them to go “bro i have no fucking clue what happened”#easilyy top 5 bruh moments this year#i really did not want to go to the ER like i thought seeing the schools general practitioner was enough#but the lab tech was so kind to accompany me everywhere#and she was the one who insisted i go to the ER even when i was like “ehhhh its probably fine”#and i am weak to older women what can i say#....my life was a series of unfortunate events unfolding into this utterly unsatisfying conclusion#should have had an anime arc like...No...I cant let her down...I cant let my trip to the hospitals go to waste...i will..finish this...!#but nah fate said “have a reason to spiral back into depression during hell week. and its something you cant even talk about.”#..i sound like im complaining but i just like talking about my life like comedy with plot points and foreshadowing etc#anyway i gotta write 2 reports tonight#then i can finally drink that vodka i bought last week#or maybe i should write my reports drunk..yeah!#unironically might be a good idea considering how much i overthink these things to the point of executive dysfunction
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Just finished s11 ep17 and is no one gonna talk about how Dean just knows what kind of drug can kill him? I mean realistically it's not that surprising in the context of his job but it's not usually common knowledge (at least I dont think it is) and even then it's still suspicious he knows at all
#supernatural#dean winchester#am i overthinking this?#yeah probably#i dont care though let me live in my angsty little universe in peace
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Got hit with that weird feeling again, but I wouldnt quite describe it as hope?
It rlly is just the feeling of being suddenly really aware of your situation in life. But specifically that it's not bad.
#sepiasys.txt#Had a lot of reflection ^^;; And I think I still want to think about this stuff?#I am *happy*; or atleast content. The fears and worries have been washed away (probably purely bc I can draw).#I'm sure things will feel scary again if I get questioned or things get uninstalled. I hope not. But right NOW; things feel... good? idk ^^;#It just feels strange. It feels weird to have the good so separate from the bad ^^;; I know there is bad but I'm not experiencing it..?#Not now atleast. and we've kinda always tried to have the mindset that what is happening presently matters more than worrying for the future#or overthinking and regretting the past ^^;; I guess that's a way of explaining how we 'got over' anxiety and depression(?); huh? Even if a#friend (multiple) was able to call out that we're very anxious (insert jokes about getting me to smoke weed with them /lh(/t? /pf?)#nakxhjsnd brain is becoming soupy mushy goop sorta so thinking is not simple anymore but yeah. Uh. Things feel weird ^^;; But in a good way?#It won't be forever; I know that! But I hope we can enjoy the good for as long as it lasts <:3#Now to think about drawing the red haired little FREAK‼️ (idk what or who it is but there's like. something. something there.)
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Ok. Y'know I don't talk abt current events and stuff all that often. The internet has always been a sort of escape from irl stuff for me, plus i'm not an activist or anything. I'm just Some Guy. But with what's happening rn with Israel and Palestine and how staff keeps doing shady shit both in regards to what's happening rn and with other stuff they've done before, it just makes me feel uncomfy even being an active user here
I've never given them my money or anything, but just being here is starting to make me uncomfortable. They haven't said anything abt these things outright as far as I know, but knowing how things are going on other socials (like deviantart, which I stopped using bc of the blatant pro-israel shit staff there posted recently among other issues, or youtube being. Y'know. Youtube) I have no doubt they're very much pro-israel as well. Stopping Palestine related tags from trending and nuking pro-palestine blogs might as well be a statement on what their stance is even if they try to hide behind technical issues
I just don't want to feel like I'm inadvertently supporting genocide just by being here and using the site. Maybe that's a bit of a reach bc I don't support them financially but idk. It's not like I'd really have anywhere else to go anyways since pretty much every major social has gone this route. My mutuals are all here too and I don't wanna leave y'all. This is like 99% of my social network
Idk if I'm just overthinking. It's late, I'm tired and I'm rambling and I should be sleeping bc I have shit to do tomorrow but I can't stop worrying abt it. Idk
#ramblings#neg#i'm generally just thinking abt leaving social media all together bc i genuinely don't wanna support this shit in any way#i already did it with da#but idk if that's the right thing to do. and it's not like one guy leaving the internet is going to do much#plus i don't wanna leave my mutuals behind. i don't wanna stop sharing my art. but i still feel bad#i'm probably just overthinking but it's not letting me sleep#man i sure wish i wasn't living in historical times right now!#ugh#idk if i should trust how i feel abt this at almost 12 am. i need sleep#and i'm also stressed abt my personal life#so. yeah#delete later probably idk anymore
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Another randomness post while I wait for my lil minion to quit playing with their food and actually eat it but . . .
I randomly went and looked and gen 1 = 34posts, gen 2 = 37, gen 3 = 30, gen 4 = 52, and gen 5 = 67. And gen 6 now has 237 at the time of making this post with SOOOOOOO many more on the way - oh boy.
#ts4#simblr#text post#the sims community#ts4 simblr#I knew stories could take a while but DARN!#maybe it's time to rush the story along#am i overthinking this?#Yeah probably overthinking this#Why does my brain hate me!!!#the random thoughts inside my head#thanks to the internet my inside voices are now outside voices
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alright, Jinx theory suckerss
this is probably a pretty basic theory, but I'm convinced Jinx will be the main antagonist in Season 2. And not just any antagonist, I believe she has it in her to be the VILLAIN. Hear me out:
Jinx may not have been the main antagonist in season 1, but we already know enough of her to understand her personality and motives
First of all, Jinx loves being a joy hunter. She's the opposite of Scratch in this: if she has a job, she's gonna do it. And she's gonna make sure to succeed. She even has her little army of sadfuckers sobgoblins following her orders. She loves her job. With Scratch as the new Chairman and going "yeah, y'all do whatever you want, I don't care" Jinx lost all her worth in the Ghost World. It doesn't matter how good she is at being a joy hunter, her role isn't needed anymore. I hardly doubt she enjoys this new government
Second, she is VERY determined to carry out her plans. And by that I mean she has no problems hurting others. She was willing to kill Molly (A CHILD) without hesitation, and right after Scratch revealed his friendship with a human Jinx immediately took him away to send him to the Flow of Failed Phantoms. She even sent Geoff in there because he was helping Molly. Yeah, she's not messing around.
Third, she HATES Molly and Scratch. Sure, this wasn't said out loud, but c'mon. Who wouldn't hate the people who basically got you fired? The people who got rid of a ruler you actually enjoyed following?
Fourth, we gotta look at a bigger picture for this one. So...
According to Bill Motz (one of the show's two creators), ghosts can become corrupted because of many reasons, one of them being focusing too much on themselves and their desires (↓his explanation↓)
Jinx suddenly finds herself in a completely different society with different rules that don't make her role relevant anymore. SHE is not relevant anymore. All the power she had is useless now. All her skills, all her gadgets. They are useless. SHE is useless. And I think this will get to her... What I'm trying to say is, I believe Jinx will become corrupted. We may see her normal self again first, but eventually she will be corrupted.
And... remember how corrupted ghosts change their look? Yeah... there's a certain ghost that caught my attention from the Season 2 trailer...
Let's assume that this is Jinx's corrupted form. Looks a lot like the Chairman, doesn't she?
Based on the look, I believe Jinx will not only come back as an enemy, BUT she will also become the new Chairman. Or at least she'll try to become that. A Chairman that wants to spread misery out of pure enjoyment, a corrupted ghost desperately trying to destroy joy.
Yeah. I believe Jinx will be the villain of this show.
EXTRAsss
If I'm wrong, Future me don't you dare making fun of me for this theory, you know we both want it to be true
I'm so hoping that we'll get a villain Jinx song UGH that would be SO COOL
Also Jinx literally appears in the Season 2 poster so she HAS to come back
she's judging the disney logo
#am I overthinking? probably yeah#but seriously Jinx would be such a good villain#the ghost and molly mcgee#tgamm#the ghost and molly mcgee theory#theory#the ghost and molly mcgee jinx#tgamm jinx
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one weird and annoying effect of me spending so much time on mainly american social media and watching all these american shows and movies and reading books by american authors and having all these online friends from america etc etc is that like.. when i write i no longer feel like i can set my stories in france? like, bc i write in english it feels like i need to set my stories in an english-speaking country, and the us is the easiest one to set up (i think in a way it kinda feels like the "default setting" of western media?). i feel like if i wrote a book set in france itd be weird or confusing to people, and also im always bugged bc like.. the stuff i write in english cannot be directly translated into french, like it doesnt correspond 1:1 to french sentences, and so if i set a story in france im always bugged bc i think "but that cant be what the characters are actually saying, because theres no equivalent to this in french". so i end up setting a lot of my stuff in the us, except ive only been to the us once and not long enough to get a good impression of what living there is like (not to mention ive only been to nyc), so i also feel like when americans read my stuff theyre gonna immediately go "huh? thats not how things are here. this author is a hack who cant do research." .. so then sometimes i set my stuff in fictional countries or in an ambiguous impossible setting which mixes stuff from various english-speaking countries + france, but then that makes my story immediately less grounded. this is such a big issue that it blocks me from writing entire stories i wanna write bc i just cant even begin to put them somewhere 😔
#97#ig the two options are like..#either suck it up and write shit set in france even if ik the language thing bugs me#or set it in the us and have someone from the area im writing about read through it and correct everything i got wrong#both of which are a bit daunting.#'sunny' is my one story thats explicitly set in france#and the language thing bugs me SO SO SO much.#even the tiniest bit like..#omars nickname for sunny is 'bunny'#which works double as a cute nickname + as a play on her name right#but in french itd be like.. 'lapin' which could be a nickname ig but#it has a totally diff vibe. its not as cute. it comes off more weird or forced as a nickname.#and it has nothing to do w sunnys name.#stuff like that is always annoying me.#oh yeah 'brotherhood' is also set in france i forgot lol and i had the same issue there!#the librarian in brotherhood makes a pun on the phrase 'early bird gets the worm'#but thats not a phrase in french and neither is 'bookworm' with which she makes the pun#so its like. no she didnt say that. she cant have bc theyre supposed to be speaking french.#actually sometimes i even feel like im not knowledgeable to write france either!!#like i wanna set something in paris but while im in paris often im always a passerby#and i feel like i cant write paris in an authentic and genuine way#so what am i just supposed to set all my stories in my city and nowhere else??#i probably overthink this stuff.
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