#am i just projecting my friends life onto tk?

[viluve]

Introduction post ᯓ★

Hello, I see you’ve stumbled across my blog. Welcome and thanks for stopping by.

For your information, this is a tickle blog, aka just a silly little place where i repost amazing art, occasionally write stuff, and just chill. My blog is fully SFW so fellow minors are welcome to interact with it. Please do not interact with me in any way whatsoever if you post NSFW content, i am a minor.

To find out more about me,my boundaries, and general information about my blog, look under the cut. :)

About me ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ :

First of all, here is an image with things that apply to me

Done looking at them? Good!

More about me ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ :

My name is Vic, friends may call me Vivi or any other nickname that isn’t weird. :)

I do not know if i am an ENTP or an INTP (Myers Briggs Type Indicator)

I am a True Neutral (Moral Alignment Test)

If I had to describe myself with adjectives i would say I am bold playful, open, and (mostly) funny.

I think that’s it about myself. But before we move onto my boundaries I will briefly explain what all my shortened words mean in case you do not understand them. :D

DNI : Do Not Interact

SFW : Safe For Work

NSFW : Not Safe For Work (18+)

tk : tickle

TDLOSK : The Disastrous Life Of Saiki .K

ASSAS CLASS : Assassination Classroom

PJSK : Project Sekai

DDLC : Doki Doki Literature Club

My boundaries ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ :

DNI if : You are a Lovejoy fan, a Wilbur fan, a Melanie Martinez fan, over 20 years old (with the exception of blogs i follow/interact with first), if you post NSFW content, if you are racist, a proshipper, xenophobic, homophobic, or transphobic, and if you are too sensitive. (The “too sensitive people DNI” thing because no, i will not do a whole list of things for you just so that you don’t start crying and screaming like a child.)

You are on thin ice if: You are a Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss fan, if you are a DTEAM fan, 17-19 years old, someone who likes to argue, or just annoying.

Please interact if: You are in any fandom I’m in, if you are a fellow SFW tk blog, or if you’re just chilling :)

What you can/shouldn’t do ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ :

Here is a list of things i would be comfortable with and that you can do, followed by a list of things i would be uncomfortable with and that you should not do. The list of things you can do is if you do not fall in the DNI criteria of the previous list.

What you can do: Dm me to talk, ask for my socials, give me non romantic compliments (e.g. “pretty; smart; funny; silly; …”), reblog or like my posts even if you are not a tk account (just don’t put them in a main tag), send me asks, and just enjoy my content :)

What you shouldn’t do: Dm me in hopes of romance, dm me for sexual matters, tease me if i do not know you, ask for teases if i don’t know you, dm me in hopes of seeing my face/body, interact with me in any way if you are in the “DNI” category, give me weird pet names, sexualise me, or be weird.

Now that i’m done talking about myself, let’s talk about my blog.

About my blog ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ :

My blog has two “sides”, a non tk related side, and a tk related side. Regardless of what you are following me for, be aware that the other “side” exists.

About tk related things :

This is not a fetish, nor a kink, for me tickling is just a playful and cutesy thing between friends or characters.

I might post some more fics, headcanons, or other things. If I do post them, expect them to have characters from these fandoms :

- JJK

- MP100

- TDLOSK

Please understand that i cannot write for fandoms i know nothing about, so if you send me an ask saying e.g. “can you write lee!y ler!x from xyz show??” I will not be able to do that.

To see my fic/s type in “tickle fic” in the search option on my profile.

About non tk related things :

I think i’ll mainly just reblog poetry or write about stuff happening in my life, nothing too hard to understand :)

Once again, thanks for stopping by and thank you for reading my introduction. :)

Vic outᯓ★

Started my blog on August 14th 2024 at 09:53am (CET)

(yes the exact time is necessary)

[paperstorm]

Why do you think Carlos is so convinced that he's a disappointment to his father? Gabriel seemed so happy to see him when they ran into him and TK at the farmer's market. It seems like Carlos has convinced himself for whatever reason that he's not good enough for his father and I can't quite figure out why.

*cracks knuckles* Get ready for an unnecessarily deep dive and a series of truly terrible gifs, kids.

I think that having a not-good-enough complex is a really layered and complicated thing, and it often is the result of a combination of real and perceived things. There have been a lot of people in my life who treated me like I wasn’t good enough, and there are also a lot of people who probably didn’t but I thought they did because I was projecting my own issues onto them. For Carlos I’m sure it’s exactly the same. I, too, fully believed that my parents loved me, and also fully believed I would never be enough for them. Those two thoughts can and often do exist completely in harmony with each other even though they seem contradictory.

We don’t get an enormous amount of backstory into Carlos and his trauma. We get glimpses but this is an ensemble show and they don’t have the time to deep dive into every facet of every character. Here’s what we do know.

Carlos came out to his parents when he was 17, they were shocked, they hugged him, but then never talked about it again. For ten years. That is a long time to never talk about something that’s so pivotal in a person’s life. We never find out exactly why. The show hasn’t (or hasn’t yet) given us Gabriel and Andrea’s reasoning for this. But for Carlos, we can infer from what’s said in canon that he took this to be a sort of ‘hate the sin, love the sinner’ situation.

That his parents still loved him, but didn’t accept his lifestyle. And maybe at first that was true, we don’t know. We just know Carlos clearly thought that he had to stay sort of semi-closeted; not necessarily lie about who he is, but not *act gay*, not talk about it, not bring boys home to meet them. We know that put a ton of strain on their relationship and was a big source of hurt for Carlos, but that his parents meant so much to him that he was willing to do that in order to keep them. Again, we don’t know whether he was right to think that, but we do know that he thought it, so there must have been at least some reasons for that.

We know that Gabriel didn’t want Carlos to become a police officer. Once again we don’t get details on this, we don’t know what that conversation looked like or what Gabriel’s reasons were, but we have the canon fact that Carlos thinks it’s because Gabriel thought he was too soft. That might be a mix of real and perceived, but kids are very perceptive so it wasn’t something Carlos completely made up.

We know that at the end of 2x08 Carlos was genuinely shocked to find out that a) his dad had figured out TK was his boyfriend, and b) he was okay with it. Carlos in 2x04 says “and if that never changes?” in response to TK being willing to pretend they’re just friends, and he says it in such a sincere way that it communicates he genuinely believes it is a possibility that he’s going to have to hide himself forever. He’s not being dramatic, this is a thing Carlos truly believes, so again, there are reasons for that even though the audience doesn't get to know what they are.

We know that Carlos is sensitive. Whether that sensitivity is a strength or a weakness depends on whose eyes you’re seeing it through, but Carlos is incredibly kind and gentle, with a huge heart and past hurts he carries around and a really strong desire to be loved and accepted. If Gabriel is not particularly this kind of person, he might have had a hard time relating to Carlos when he was growing up. When you factor in things like religion, culture (I am not the right person to speak on this but the culture of Latin machismo is a whole thing), and Carlos being either the only child or at the very least the only male child, I don’t have a hard time believing Carlos spent most of his childhood feeling like his dad thought he was too soft. I can easily see that playing out in all kinds of ways over many, many years, even if it’s not something Gabriel ever did on purpose or maliciously.

And then finally we have their adversarial scenes in 2x08 which I think are really clear window into the father/son dynamic between these two.

Carlos is obviously really upset, but Gabriel gives him nothing. He’s doing his job, that’s fair enough, but this is also his child (as far as canon goes, his only child), and he doesn’t do anything to reach out when Carlos is upset and scared and spiralling.

Carlos says at the beginning of the scene that his captain and Gabriel have known each other for 30 years, indicating Carlos not only thinks he’s let his dad down, he thinks he’s embarrassed his dad in front of coworkers and that’s so much worse. Carlos also reveals that “they all” think he got played. He’s being treated by others like a sensitive little baby who isn’t tough enough to do his job, and the man whose approval Carlos needs more than any other human on the planet only serves to reiterate those awful feelings.

There are parts in this scene where Gabriel is sarcastic and almost mocking in the way he deals with what Carlos did.

And then there’s this.

This is the one that kills me the most. Because this is the perfect physical manifestation of Carlos’s claim that his dad thinks he’s too soft. Clearly, in this moment, Carlos isn’t just imagining that. The implication is so loud - Gabriel thinks Carlos is too sensitive and too easily manipulated by emotions to be a good cop. A good cop wouldn’t have been tricked the way he believes Carlos was.

It all feels heavily personal. If Gabriel didn’t know the officer he was questioning, he might not be super warm and fuzzy but there also wouldn’t be this knowing air of like 'sigh. Here we are, once again.' The disappointment just radiates off him (how good is Benito btw but that is a side point) and it seems implied that this is not the first time Gabriel has had to haul his tough Ranger ass in and clean up something that happened because Carlos got his precious feelings hurt.

And then the final blow:

As in, Gabriel thinks Carlos doesn’t. With this hug that doesn’t feel warm or affectionate but more like a mob boss kissing a snitch on the cheek before planting his feet in wet concrete. This scene is so devastating.

Later, when they have suspects and it turns out Carlos was right, he so clearly is once again in need of reassurance and again, he doesn’t get it, which further demonstrates this dynamic between them where Carlos has emotional needs that consistently aren’t being met.

Even calling him Carlitos in this moment feels hurtful, because it feels like he’s still being treated like a little boy. It’s the contextual difference between someone who loves you saying ‘I know, honey’, and someone who is pitying you saying ‘oh, honey …’

So. Tldr, we do have to use a little imagination because we’ve only been provided a skeleton of Carlos’s backstory and we probably are never going to get hours of flashbacks. But there are a LOT of hints sprinkled in, and I think lots of realism in the way it’s portrayed, especially when you factor in culture and consider that Carlos’s feelings of being too soft for his father likely existed well before he knew he was gay, and then his sexuality felt like a bit of a final nail in that coffin. Carlos still aches for his father’s approval and acceptance at 26/27 and has those heartbreaking little moments of 'I did everything you said please love me', but he’s also somewhat resigned to the fact that he doesn’t think he’ll ever get it.

I’m so happy he’s wrong about that.

[detectivereyes]

idk if im the only one but i always hc to have od'ed 3 times, like owens reaction seemed like he expected it so ive always thought it had happened at least 3 times, i think once when he was 17/18 then again when he was like 21/22 and then ofc the one we saw thats just how ive envisioned it i wonder if they will ever like go into detail about how much trouble hes had and what age he started using stuff like that? also let me know if you have any ideas about this tooooo <333- 💚

oh, oh anon. if only you knew how much time i’ve spent thinking about this... currently i’m working on the addiction square on my bthb square so i’ve spent a good amount of time thinking about the role addiction plays in tk’s life 😳

but i completely agree with you, i think tk definitely od’d more than two times... with owen’s reaction, i just think it makes more sense if it was something he struggled with off and on during his teens and early 20s (like you said) and then he got clean before he relapsed again in 1x01. I do really hope we get more answers about it, and i’m sure if we ever get a tk begins that will be a Huge part of it. i would think he probably started using when he was in his early teens... not sure if i have any other ideas. i do know someone else working on a fic that really looks at his history of substance abuse but i won’t call them out here bc idk how that fic is going... but you know who you are and if you want to jump, feel free ;) otherwise, yeah i think that about covers it! i wouldn’t be surprised if season 2 was more focused on far he’s come, rather than answering our questions about his past. but i think if the show keeps going, we should find out more!

[thefoodwiththedood]

SO HEY, the Angels’ group has gotten super big since it first started, to the point where we’re well past 100 characters, and I fUCKING LOVE THAT. Still, it’s been a while since I’ve made any new guys for myself, so I thought I’d knock out some new designs I’ve been wanting to make! From left to right, we’ve got Illyinis “Raquor’daan” I’dhako, Issharra & Auzituck, Hao Hok, DEV-49TK & Talo’wao’Tuessan, Roghas Bromnoct, Lorz & Vaaric Sornell, and Sev’ida’loro! So many new friends!!! :D

These guys were all super fun to design, and I’m super excited to develop them further! What do you guys think, though? Are they cool? Do any stand out that you’d wanna hear more about? Am I an absolute madman for making ten new characters at once? Let me have any feedback you’ve got! :D

Just like the last two times I made new Angels, little blurbs about each one’s backstory will be below the cut:

Illyinis I’dhako (better known by his criminal alias Raquor’daan) is the leader of a small criminal empire, operating out of the planet Kelada and tackling trades such as money laundering, imports & exports, gunrunning, and more. For most of his life he was happy with fighting for himself, but following the Battle of Montellian Serat and its subsequent massacre, he thought it best to divert his wealth and manpower to the Angels’ greater cause. He’s suave, charismatic, and just a bit too into himself, but as much as he loves being the King of Kelada, Devaron will always be closer to his heart than anything.

Issharra & Auzituck are two adopted sisters from Kashyyyk, both working with the Angels’ Abbadon squadron. Issharra, a kybuck-riding warrior, and Auzituck, a weapons expert and all-around sweetheart, admittedly don’t have too much of a stake in Devaron’s freedom, but the Angels promised to help Issharra (who was born a Devaronian) learn more about her origins, so the sisters are happy helping their new friends out along the way.

Side Note: Auzituck is based on adopt I got from @deer-head-xiris‘s Wookiee adopt set. Thank you again for that, Nat! :D

Hao Hok is one of the Angels’ best swoop pilots, which is due as much to her custom-built superbike Laquasa as to her years of experience as a pilot. Originally one of the pre-Serat Angels, she left the cell for a period of time to join Enfys Nest’s Cloud-Riders, only to re-join a short time after the massacre. Fierce, strong-willed, and a revolutionary in every sense of the word, Hao is committed to seeing her planet become not just free, but the best it can possibly be—and if that means cutting up a few Imperials along the way, so be it.

Talo’wao’Tuessan (better known by her nickname TT) is a soldier in the Devaronian Army, though she’s best known for being a gifted Droid technician. She and her current passion project (a heavily-modified battle droid known as DEV-49TK (or TK for short)) both followed General Markhor’sai’Malloc when he defected to the Angels, and they now fight alongside the cell, lending both their strength and their technical prowess to the revolution.

Side Note: TT is based off an adopt I got from @gloamingchild, whom I absolutely Adore and you should all go check them out, their art and their OCs are some of my favorites.

Roghas Bromnoct is an assassin, operating out of the Angels’ secluded auxiliary base deep in Montellian Serat. An expert assassin and free-runner, Roghas puts his skills to use collecting information, putting down targets, and stirring up the citizens of Serat, all before hopping up onto a fire escape and running off into the dark of the city.

Lorz & Vaaric Sornell are two half-brothers and members of the Mandalorian Clan Sornell. Lorz (a gladiator) and Vaaric (a pilot/bounty hunter) both followed their second cousin Kobelka when she joined the Angels, and they now lend both their strength and their cunning to the fight for Devaron, so that maybe one day, their family won’t have to live on an island in a sea of lava. Because that mostly sucks.

Sev’ida’loro (Vidal for short) is the Angels’ bookkeeper, in charge of not just managing their finances, but a large portion of their intel as well. A former agent of the Chiss Ascendancy, she joined the Angels after her son, Oni, insisted she follow him to the side of the rebels, so that she could at least have a roof over her head and a bed to sleep in. Now, she’s grown to view Devaron as her home, and though she’s not a fighter by nature, she’ll do whatever she can to help it.

Side Note: Vidal is also based on an adopt I got from @deer-head-xiris, out of their Chiss adopt set. Again, go check them out if you haven’t before, their art’s awesome :D

[pramirce]

12/03/2022

Well haven’t things changed!!

I ended it with LB, he cheated again in august 21 and I already decided in April 21 that I was going to cut it off before I got to uni. Best decision I’ve ever made was preempting my exit and creating an emotional detachment strategy. Not so great for him, heartbroken and still hung up six months later. But I let karma do it’s thing , per usual.

I’m writing here today because I feel as though I need to let out thoughts to a blog I haven’t used in a year, rather than projecting onto others.

I didn’t realise how dangerously skinny I was during my relationship, because I was so stuck in my own head. I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t think of LB without wanting to throw up everything I’ve eaten. That should have been a clear sign that he interfered with my energy massively , even my body was showing signs of distrust and unhappiness. I’ve managed to gain 5kg since then, but I do find it quite hard to not take comments about my weight straight to my heart and act upon them. Especially as a flyer in cheer, it makes life a lot harder when your weight counts a lot to a sport. A sport I love, don’t get me wrong. But I have struggled recently.

I used to leave cheer feeling on top of the world . Since I’ve done my back in, I can’t help but feel exhausted and deflated after every session , especially with a comp on Sunday it’s so difficult to keep the vibes positive when everyone is so competitive to the point where we are just so nervous that we have to vom before each performance.

It feels good to vent here because I don’t know how to approach a situation like this. To be so torn between a love for a sport and the damage it causes. I’ve gotten a lot better at balancing my priorities luckily, as I’m pretty sure I did no work for three weeks straight because I was so focussed on cheer.

I’m introducing two new persons, TK and MR, TK stands for Three Kidneys . TK is a recent friend, she’s my cheer coach and I do have alot of respect and love for her. I think that’s why I find it hard to like her sometimes, her decisions sometimes lack judgement and prioritise her own feelings rather than the team as a whole. I only want to impress her and I find myself looking for her approval all the time like I used to with Zoe. She is easy to criticise and not everyone gets along with her, but she helped me when I was in an awful mental state. She made an effort with me and I will never forget that.

MR is a new close friend. She is so compassionate and I value our friendship more than she could ever know. I love her like a sister and I think that’s why I feel as tho we fight like sisters. We haven’t ever fought but I do feel like sometimes she struggles to keep her energy positive and I need to learn that it’s not an attack on me , rather a struggle within. She is so effortlessly pretty tho and I can’t lie I’m a bit jelly . I know she will always be there for me when I need it most. Which is why MR stands for My Rock.

I think it’s safe to say I am doing a lot better . A lot a lot better now. I have my bad days, sometimes week or month. But I’m doing miles better and I can’t lie, it’s massively due to the people I cut off and the new ones I surrounded myself with. I’m so excited for the future, something I haven’t felt for a while.