#am i gonna go back and check for errors?? NO FUCKING WAY IM DONE

[happyk44]

Here's how it goes. You are five children in tight quarters. Four of you have never known life without another person by your side. The oldest of you remembers and hates it. It is hot and humid. There's a rock. The rock is pretty nice. You were expecting a sixth kid.

Good to see your mom finally learned something.

You play games together. You have dreams about the world outside the darkness and the tiny light of flame from your oldest sister's fingertip. Then you go up and out. Splattered on the ground in ickiness. Your father is is throwing up and some boy holding a gold plate is standing in front of you with wide eyes. Your youngest sister punches him out the way and you run.

You run and run and run and run until there's nowhere left to go. You get clean from a river. The youngest boy soaks in it deliriously. You are all happy for him. He's found what he dreams of - even if only a small version of it. You pull clothes from a clothesline and get dressed. You cut your long messy hair with knives instead of lowering your head into stomach acid and it is quicker than you've ever known.

It is blisteringly bright outside. You are unfamiliar with light, and distrusting of heat, but it's still pleasant. You can see the trees and the sky and the grass.

The light gives proof you are free.

You hide when the darkness comes. The moon is bright, but you are haunted by years of sitting in pitch black. Is he swallowing you up again? Is the darkness his threat? Your oldest brother doesn't mind the darkness, has never truly been bothered by it, and watches you while you sleep. Your oldest sister builds a fire from branches and leave and the flame on her hand.

You know they will protect you. They are more a mother and father than you have ever known.

You awake and regroup. The boy comes back. His hands are raised above his head and he tells you what he knows. He is your brother, the youngest of you all. He was hidden by your mother. Replaced with a rock so he was not swallowed whole. He is the one that freed you from your father's belly. He wants you to join him, to battle your father, your family, to win and truly be free.

Disbelief hits you first. Then jealousy. Why did he get freedom, and you did not? It does not much approach the older two - your mother could not have known. Swallowed one, but surely he wouldn't swallow two. Swallowed two and set a pattern.

He never should've swallowed three.

It takes a while but you agree, following tensely behind this boy. Your mother sees you and cries. She is so happy. You are not. You do not know this woman. The oldest two do not have parents. The younger three only know the oldest girl and the oldest boy. But you all smile and tell her that you missed her too. You did not. You never knew her. All you know is that she handed you over and let him swallow you, one, two, three, four, five.

Still you stay and prepare to fight.

---

You are the oldest of six teens. Your life did not begin with kindness, but still you are kind. You clean your siblings' wounds from battles fought, and make dinner for them. You listen to their fears and pains and hold them close when they are scared. You fight with fire-laden hands meant for warmth and cooking good soup. You yearn for the day you can run across plains, barefoot and happy, to discover new places, instead of to fight.

Loneliness was a bitter thing when you were born. Alone you sat in darkness until the first boy fell. He was tall for his age, and unnaturally quiet. You found solace in him. A companion. He is your closest friend, the first you seek out.

But now he sits in shadows and sinks into dirt. He hears whispers that no one else can, and brings home pulsing orbs he leaves in his room. None of you can touch them. They pass right through your fingers when you try. When you ask, he tells you that they have been calling to him, asking him to take them home. He tells you that they are still asking for home.

"Where is home?" you ask, afraid of the answer.

"Not here," he says. He looks down to his bare feet and curls his toes into the stone floor. "But I think it's down. Deep down."

The deep down is dark and frightening. You remember it, walking to find allies in your imprisoned uncles. It is different from your father's belly, but encompassing all the same. It is not warm. It is not soft. It is not comforting. It is not home.

But you hold back your protests and squeeze his hand. You are scared of loneliness. It is a cold and empty thing. But you love your brother, and he desires the dark. Your middle brother desires the wet of the ocean, which you cannot stand, and the littlest one wants power and a throne. Your youngest sister will stand by him, creating structure and order and perfectly positioned paintings in the aftermath of this war.

Maybe Demeter, the middle sister who digs her hands deep into dirt and talks to trees and dandelions, will come with you. Surely she will want to travel across plains. Discover new nature. Discover new worlds. Meet new people.

Never to be alone again.

--

You are the oldest boy, the second born of six children. You have never known loneliness. Not physically. You have always had someone by your side. But they do not understand you. Even in the darkness you knew you were strange. Your dreams did not line up with theirs, covered in shadows and whispers and confinement.

Your older sister holds your hand and you smile, thinking of how she will not come with you to where you must go. It calls to you. It always has. These people that roam may not know about you yet, still worshipping the old gods, the ones who have faded away, but when they fall, it is you they call to. Of course they do. Your predecessor isn't around to take them in anymore.

You have not know quiet in all your years. The sounds of dying and dead never ends. In the night, you go and find them. You bring them back to a quiet hutch and set them down. You are not ready for your post yet - the battle has not been won. But it sits waiting, far beneath your feet.

It is a secret you will tell no one, save for a young girl with flowers in her hair and smile brighter than the stars. You will tell her because she will understand what it meant to be given a name that is not yours. Your mother named you in hope and awe, yet when your sister whispered, "Who are you?", you did not answer. You waited in silence.

And quietly and suddenly, you knew. With brilliant clarity, you knew.

"Hades," you said, and years later, people, both the ones who worship the old gods and the ones who your youngest brother has made out of dirt and clay to know nothing but the six of you and your victories - they will confess to one another, "I am scared of Hades", and they will mean both man and home.

Your family fears the darkness. You oldest sister and the following three knew nothing but the pitch black. They still do not trust it. And your youngest brother shines brightly static yellow light. He gazes upwards to the sky. You gaze down to the depths.

They will not follow you.

But you have a duty to follow, the calls to answer. You are not afraid of the dark, and when the war is over, you will descend and finally feel alive.

--

You are the third-born of six children, the second girl, the one who should never have been swallowed. You remember the pity on your older siblings' faces when they held you close in the darkness, only illuminated by the flames of your oldest sister's fingertips. The pretty light calmed your crying and fear.

You remember how it felt to escape the castle. To feel the earth beneath your sticky feet. It swells with you. Everything breaths. You talk to plants and they do not answer, although your family thinks they do. But you talk because they are alive. Because they respond. You can feel it in your veins.

Your oldest brother understands. Your second brother does too. But they are so different from you. You don't know how, but you can just tell. Something is different.

People call you Gaea, the earth, and you think, No, that's wrong. You are the earth, but you are not the earth. You are Demeter.

And you are unsure.

You fight militantly. Distance is your friend. You can feel the enemy patter against the ground, feel the way the trees sway and move. When you pull back your bow, your uncle isn't even in your sight. But the arrow lands dead center and he falls.

The arrow splits and wood crests and grows. Roots drag him down. Spilt blood is drank, water consumed. The very air in his lungs his stolen from his chest as he is devoured by your nature. Every nutrient in his body is taken as the roots spread within him and the tree grows.

You are not the earth. No, the earth fuels itself. You are a separate creation. Like your sisters, you think. Your brothers are different. They are limitless. But you, your sisters - you follow rules. A plant needs water and air to grow. You could not force it to grow without it.

It is in your victory do you consider what you will be. Your garden is not pretty. It is practical, important. Each row of plant exists within structure. Too close and one may steal from the other. Too far and they cannot share. Include certain herbs to deter bugs. Till the soil to renew the earth. Do not overwater.

Bury your uncle and let the grain feast.

--

You are the fourth of six kids. The second boy. The middle child.

Like the ocean, your moods are everchanging. Your oldest brother is the only one who can always quell them. Your youngest brother riles you up too much. It's his fault, you think, when they yell about your fighting. Look at the wind on the sea, how it builds the waves to fight.

You love your oldest sister. Of all your sisters, she is your favourite. She opposes you, warm and calm to your wet and wild, but still she sits with you and soothes your wounds.

Sometimes you worry something is wrong with you. You do not feel pain the way they do. And you are needy. Even more so than the oldest, who was alone for so long until your brother came along. You have known people all your life. Even freed of your father's belly, they have not left your side. And yet you cling. You hold on. They struggle to escape, but you hold them tighter and tighter.

Your older sisters are tactile, but they do not cling the way you do. They do not pull the others in and demand they stay.

Years later you will sit on the rocks and watch as a riptide drags a poor child down and you will understand why you cling.

Your siblings are more elegant than you, more firm, and steady. You run across the earth and struggle to stay upright. It's like your feet were not made for the ground. They fight sharp and deliberate. Each strike is pointed.

You do not fight.

You play.

It's all a game, the whim of the tides. Despite your stocky shape, you are fluid and flexible. Let them run then drag them back. Let them breathe then let them drown. Or spear them viciously. Rip them to shreds. Make them watch the others die in terror, knowing their time will soon come and you do not care how much they beg.

It's your laughter they hear last, booming loud like the crash of the waves in a storm. It's not your fault. You don't know what pity is. You cannot understand it. The ocean does not give life to those who live outside of it. The ocean is salty impure heaviness. Survival must be fought for in the cold and wet.

In the time that comes, when the war is over, you will feel languid and calm for the first time in your life. You all have won. There is no pious uncles, no bitter father to destroy. But soon your oldest brother, the only one who can calm your destructive moods, disappears into shadows and darkness. It appears open and endless to the eye, but you felt the confining walls the day you stepped in.

You do not like confinement.

But the others are still here in the house you've made a home, so you remain a lapping tide. But your littlest brother and sister leave to the mountains and the skies and you cannot follow them that high. Your earthern sister who came just before you leaves for the inland. For pure water wells and settled dirt and people willing to learn. You try to follow but she bats you away in horror and disgust.

You don't know how to handle this. This isn't what is supposed to happen. They are not supposed to leave. You cling to them, and they stay. Their skin grows heavy with your weight and they stop fighting.

They don't leave.

All you have left is the oldest of you all, and you follow her diligently. She tries to still your shifting moods, but it's hard. People get hurt and you cannot care. But she does. She cares so much and you do not understand why. One day you wake up and she is gone. The fire is out, and the people you were with have vanished too. You call out for her and she does not respond.

You scream, angered, that those who were yours have left. They have escaped your wet hands and dried your dew off their skin. They have vanished to places you cannot follow.

They have abandoned you.

You sink into the deep and dark and free and build a new life. Your uncle, a crochety man who did not fight on his brother's side, will tell you it is your time, that the age of Titans has ended, long live the age of the Gods. He will crown you king. The kingdom stands before you, a rule you have never wanted, but now crave. These people belong to the ocean, to you. The water holds them down, gives them life.

They can never leave.

--

You are the youngest sister, the fifth born. People call you strict and cruel. However, your oceanic brother adores your vengeful nature and watches eagerly as you fight. Blood hits your clothes and you grimace. You prefer when things are clean and neat. Tidiness is important.

Your siblings are all entrenched in nature - fire, death, earth, ocean and sky. But you do not see nature. It is a pretty thing in the background of the picture. Today you are violent, but in the future, you will have more meaning.

Women are not well seen in this world, often ignored unless desired, dismissed and put to the side, unless important. Your brothers stand out too much, and your sisters are too entranced by their nature - the oldest to comfort and give warmth, the second to nature and grain. So you are the one who ventures out to the villages that your enemies peruse. You are the one who blends in with the castle staff, who listens in on war plans, and steals secrets.

You are the one who leads your brother to your father.

You are the one who watches him die.

You know that when the war is over and your time has come, you will be much more than a quiet face ducked down and scurrying across halls. You will do much more than drag men to their knees in the thick of night and make them bleed across your knuckles for disgracing the name of family with their lecherous ways.

In the years that come, you will have a warring son and people will laugh at his bloody ways, assuming he comes from his father, the man who won the war. But you know that he comes from you, blood across your knuckles and carrying battered women safely home.

--

You are the youngest of six. When you are but a babe, your mother holds you on her knee and tells you of your siblings. In the darkness of your father's belly, you know that they wait for you to rescue you them. You think of them often. You wonder if they know of you. You imagine how grateful they will when you save them.

When you take your first steps your mother hands you a sword. It is bigger than you are and your fist is small and chubby. Still you learn. You train every day. You learn every weapon you can. Your mother visits and reminds you of your duty - save your siblings, destroy your father, inherit the world.

You rarely leave home. It's dangerous, the nymphs say. Be careful, your mother whispers. Tell no one of your truth, the Kouretes demand.

Fear comes crawling in swift and unbearable. Your mother leaves you with texts for your future, so you may be a good and honorable king. The nymphs tell you of your father's nature, so you will not make his mistakes. Every day you train, every day you learn, and every night you stare empty at the cavern ceiling, terror building a home in your head.

What if you fail? What if you cannot win? What if your siblings do not think you should be king? What if you do something wrong and you are overpowered like your father? You reassure yourself every morning. Of course, you will win. Of course, your siblings will believe you to be king. You will be a good and honorable king. Your people will love you. No one will wish to knock you off your throne.

But still every night you fear.

You meet your father in person for the first time, dressed as a lowly cupbearer. He is not as fearsome as you once imagined. He looks normal. Part of you is distressed by this. Your fear eats it up.

Still, confident and sure, you hold out his goblet and watch as he drinks. Your siblings come up, unclothed and covered in grime. They are all pale and horribly thin. Their hair is matted and unclean, chopped strangely at the ends, as if burnt instead of cut.

You prepare to speak, to usher them to safety as your father still vomits behind them. But the tallest girl, taller than you, throws a fist you were not suspecting, and down you go, and off they run.

Chaos ensues. Evasion is easy but still takes time. By the time you are free of the castle and your father's roaring rage, the sun has set. You climb to the top of the mountain you've lived your entire life under and call out to Selene. She rides her chariot across the sky and returns with helpful news.

Your siblings do not trust you. You don't understand. This is nothing like how you planned it to be. The plan was simple: you tell them of yourself, they are grateful and come with you, you prepare them as you have been prepared, and the battle commences. They obey your every word and listen thoughtfully to your plans.

They understand that you are a great leader, and will be a good and honourable king.

But they are not doing what they are supposed to. They are whispering amongst themselves, while the shortest girl hold fire in her hands and the tallest boy keeps a steady eye on you. They are not coming with you. They are not following the plan.

They are not listening.

It takes too much time for them to agree. They meet your mother and seem... strange. Surely, they should be more excited. She has told you about them in deep detail, from every hair on their head to the specific colour of their eyes, to the way they looked when they fell, and the horror she felt for being unable to protect them. She loves them dearly. Why are they standing so stiff in her hold?

Your siblings are nothing like you expected. Every day they continue to ruin the carefully crafted dream you put together. Your brothers are strange and different from you. They don't feel the sky in their lungs, or appreciate the birds. The oldest is too silent and unsettling. He is stronger than you expected, and makes enemies fall to dust beneath his fingertips.

His capabilities terrify you. Your fear eats it up. What if he desires the throne? it whispers. He is the eldest.

I will be the one to kill our father, you argue. I will inherit the throne.

Surely he would be more fit to kill your father, your fear laughs. He is entrenched in death and darkness. You are bright and loud. He will see you coming, but your bother will be a surprise.

Luckily, the oldest seems uninterested in ruling. But the others listen to him in a way they do not listen to you, and it angers you. What if they tell him to take the throne? Would he do it? Would he demand it?

Would he kill you for it?

Your other brother is a nuisance. He doesn't stay within the lines. He is wild and wicked and never listens. You repeat your plans over and over again. Everyone agrees. Then he runs forward, laughing loud and giving away your position each time.

He is vicious and angers easily. A simple disagreement turns into a bloody fight in a minute. Then he laughs it off, easygoing and calm, before clinging to your back like an octopus. It is baffling and bizarre. The others shrug and tell you he has always been like this. You cannot understand.

Your sisters are better. Although the youngest argues with you on everything. When your plans fail, she cuts in and creates a new one. Days pass, plans fail, and suddenly she stands tall and demanding, telling you that you are wrong. Her plans work. It makes you bitter.

You have planned and plotted for this war since the day you could walk. You know that your plans can win this battle. It is not your fault that your siblings do not listen.

But you grit your teeth and accept her assistance. She's rigid and off-putting sometimes. But she's pretty in the early moonlight. Fascinating when she's focused. Sometimes you feel you are the same - order, neatness, structure.

Justice.

You follow her once and watch her threaten a wealthy man for forcing his young wife to acknowledge his concubine's children as proper heirs and care for them as her own. You do not know which upsets her more - the concubine or the husband's actions. But you feel warm when she drops him to his knees and threatens to return if he does not make it right.

Truthfully you don't understand what she sees so wrong about the situation. But the fire in her voice and the fearful trembling of her victim invigorates you nonetheless.

The second-born sister is better behaved, albeit more stubborn. Still you get along fairly well. You do not understand her fascination with bread. You understand she starved for many years, but... it's just bread.

The oldest of you all is most soothing. But when she stills the fights that break out, she does not default to your opinion. She wants to hear everyone, both sides of the argument and witnesses. Even when the nautical one is involved, despite the fight nearly always being his fault. It is not your fault he doesn't listen and must be corrected every time.

She tries to relax you in your frustrations, but you do not understand her conviction to hear everyone out. And you do not understand it when she tells you you were wrong.

You do not understand many things about your siblings.

You begin to fear you do not understand many things about the world.

Still you win. Your father is defeated by your very hands. You cut him into pieces and box them up to bury across the plains of Tartarus. Even if he escapes, he will have many long years to piece himself back together. And even if he manages that, he will have no chance of escaping Tartarus.

You retire to the home you have made with your siblings in these last few years of war and it is strange. There is nothing on the horizon, no impeding responsibility to look towards. Your destiny has ended. The crown on your head feels too heavy. You hold it in your hands and stare at the glistening metal. Your reflection is warped and distorted.

You don't know what to think.

Is this how your father felt, you wonder. Did he destroy his father and take his crown only to find it felt too heavy and he could not see his face in the glistening metal? Did he feel hollow and strange inside? Did he not understand the world either? Is that what made him cruel?

You place the crown aside and dispell those thoughts. You are not your father. You are better than him, greater than him. His defeat by your hand proves that.

Careful, your fear laughs at the back of your mind. Your father likely thought that too.

[jake-g-lockley]

If you want to, no pressure, #19 with dear Marc fronting, but can contain all moon boys of course. Really anything you wanna do is fine with me. Just excited to see what you come up with lovely.

Problems (Marc Spector x reader)

Masterlist | Spotify Playlist | Want to be Tagged?

A/N: Melodyyyyyy hehe I love me some heated Marc Spector content too. Thanks for the ask lovelyy! 

Warnings: MDNI, Making out, dry humping (if ya squint mate), hair pulling, swearing, tiny mention of Wendy (im so fucking sorry y’all)

Word Count: 1.5k

☾ .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Marc Spector wasn’t in the best of moods.

He took a deep breath and held his textbooks close, counting random numbers to clear his head as the elevator brought him to his floor. He was exhausted, tired from the failing classes and yelling at the lecturers. He just wanted to dump all of his books onto his bed, grab his gym bag and release some steam in the gym. That was all he had to do to make him relax.

Simple right?

Wrong.

Marc’s other problem lived in his dorm with him and that problem was you. It had been weeks and the both of you had been trying hard to move out of the dorm, but everytime you did, there was a scheduling error that could not be solved which only made the both of you more frustrated. 

You had created a set of rules for the both of you to follow and you followed them religiously. You were the quiet studious girl while Marc was the unbothered jock who did not give a shit about any rule. That’s why the both of you didn’t get along. In fact, you hated each other with a burning passion, passion so fiery that you both could probably blow up the entire row of dorm rooms if you wanted to. 

Marc rolled his eyes and set his hand on the doorknob, knowing what awaited him on the other side. He flung the door open and you turned to glare at him from your desk. 

“Not a word, I don’t want to hear it.” Marc says before you even open your mouth.

“You fucked a chick here when I was at the library! Are you out of your goddamn mind, Spector?” you stood up and slammed your textbook close. 

“I said, I don’t want to hear it.” he pushed again, not wanting to look at you as he shoved things into his gym bag at a rapid pace. 

“You think it's fun to chase someone out of my dorm at 3 am in the fucking morning? You really think the world revolves around you huh?” your rage was boiling over you and you wanted nothing more than to beat Marc Spector to pulp with your bare hands.

You were tired with the way he waltzed around as if he owned the place, as if he could just do as he pleased wherever and whenever. He was moving around the room, mumbling the word “deodorant” and tossing things around. 

“Yea I fucked that chick, so what? What are you gonna do about it? All you do is sleep over your books and worry about studying, what am I supposed to do about it?” He grumbles back, pulling his pillow to check his bed for the missing item. 

You stared at him, appalled at his stupidity. 

“I don’t even do anything to you Spector, why are you doing this to make my life so fucking miserable?” you yell, unable to control yourself any longer. 

To your shock, Marc slides his hand across his desk, causing his pencil holder to go flying across the room, making you gasp. He screams in frustration, and slumps onto his bed with his face in his hands, unable to stop the angry tears from leaving his eyes. He barely let himself take a breath before he looked at you, his head yearning to say sorry but his mouth twisting into a wild scowl worthy of his own mother’s anger. Your heart drops to your stomach as you take note of the tears staining his face, unable to move a muscle as he slowly lifts himself from off his bed. 

“You wanna talk about the things you do to me? Huh?” he says coldly prowling closer to you, like a panther about to strike. 

You find the brain power to make your legs move but you stumble into your chair, catching yourself at the last second. You were confused. What the hell could you have possibly done to Marc that you were unaware about?

“You, you’re the one who makes me miserable, not the other way around, so please don’t tell me that I am anywhere close to making your life agonisingly painful.” he growled through gritted teeth. 

He was getting closer now, you could see the angry vein popping from his neck.

“You wanna talk about how you pull my head right out of a lesson and into all the things I would do to you?” your eyes widened slightly and your ears perked up at the way his voice dropped slightly.

“You wanna talk about how I catch myself watching you when you slowly rub your makeup off your face and do that little smile when you’re done wishing that I could be the cause of that smile?” 

Butterflies took over and began their assault on every inch of your body, sending an array of goosebumps up your spine. 

“You wanna talk about how I sometimes make the mistake of looking at you when you’re fast asleep, wishing that that pillow you hug between your legs was me instead?” 

He was so close to the point that you could see minuscule tear drops clinging to his beautiful lashes.

“You wanna talk about how much I would do just to feel your lips against mine?” 

The last line came out as a whisper, almost as if Marc didn’t want to admit it, almost as if it was a secret too blasphemous that he would rather pay whatever price he had to pay in hell rather than say it directly to your face. But it was too late, he had already done it.

You were surprised that your anger flared harder through your body, almost like a rush of adrenalin as you stared into Marc Spector’s wrathful brown eyes. Your hand shot forward and you grabbed him by the collar of his soft hoodie and you pulled him with all your strength, surprising him and making him stumble into you.

“If you’re so fucking desperate then just kiss me, you fool!” you spat, watching at the exact second when the air in the room changed to something that was out of your control. 

Marc closes the gap between the both of you in an instant, sweeping you off your feet as his lips came crashing against yours. His hands gripped at your hips hard before coiling around your waist and pulling you ever so close, crushing every bone that existed in your body. You moan into the kiss, your arm looped itself around his neck and your free hand combs up his curls for purchase, pulling hard as Marc deepens the kiss, licking into your mouth with enough fervour to turn you into mush, almost as if he was begging you to let him be mad at you.

Once Marc Spector got a taste of you, he couldn’t stop. His hands moved quickly and almost fluidly, snaking under your sweatshirt to feel your skin. Only when you pressed harder against him did he slide his hand to squeeze one of your breasts, nipping at your bottom lip at the same time and making you whine his name and breathe hard against his face. 

“Fuck I want to hear that again.” he said pushing you towards and down onto your bed. 

His lips met yours more carefully this time and you could feel him keening into your touch as you slid your own hands up his hoodie and pressed your palms against his broad chest. You broke off the kiss and pushed him down instead, the vexation you felt against him slowly morphing into a confidence that you’d never thought you had as you straddled his waist. You brought your hand back up to the back of his head and pulled on his curls once more, making him arch back with a moan, exposing his neck for you to devour. 

You started your assault on his neck, kissing, biting and sucking in a pattern that had him writhing against you, grinding his hips up to meet yours. His hands couldn’t seem to let go of you, as if he was absolutely hopeless without the feeling of you. All of his frustrations melted away and were replaced with a soft feeling of needing to float away from all his problems with you. 

Once you were satisfied with the litter of marks you had left on him, you gave him one last, softer peck on his lips and slotted your face in the space between his neck and shoulder, catching your breath as you relaxed onto his body, covering him like a weighted blanket. You only came to your senses once you felt Marc’s hand in your hair, softly brushing through each strand with his fingers. Your hand found his and you laced your fingers with his, cherishing the warmth that he provided. 

“Your deodorant is on your bedside table, by the way.” you murmur into the shell of his ear making him scoff softly.

Marc definitely didn’t need the gym today, all he needed was you. 

Reblogs are appreciated~~~

[victory-cookies]

I had the worst, most murphy’s law, comedy of errors day today it was actually ridiculous. So last night I was feeling good. I was feeling motivated. I had put all of my laundry away immediately after getting it out of the dryer. Today was gonna be my day to turn my life around bc I felt motivated to clean to do homework to run my errands I was ready

and then I sleep through my fucking alarm.

okay, whatever, it’s fine. I had to go out to get shit for my Fionna costume so I decided to head out once I’d had breakfast. It wouldn’t take me much longer than an hour and I could come home and get right to my tasks.

so I’m at the fabric store, with a meter of fleece and some velcro, and I go to pay. And my debit card doesn’t fucking work no matter what I try. So I ask the woman if she could hold my stuff while I run to the atm to get cash. But the atm declines me too. I try to log onto my online banking and that doesn’t work either. At this point I assume I’ve been locked out of my card so I head back to the store, apologize, and tell her I need to drive to the bank about ten minutes away to try to get my card fixed. She says that that’s no problem and she’ll hold my stuff until the end of the day (they close at 5. It is currently 1:30)

so I head to the bank. The line is absurdly long but finally I get up to a clerk and am like “hey I think I’ve been locked out of my card please help” and so he checks and yeah I have, bc the two scholarship cheques I deposited yesterday had been flagged as “unusual and suspicious activity” and he says he’ll call and see if he can get it unlocked for me. We’re on hold for like fifteen minutes. At this point my sister has asked me to come pick her up from her friend’s. Finally this guy gets through and they’re like “lol we can’t do it unless she has the cheques there and you can verify” and obv I didn’t have them so he was like “well either you can go get the cheques and bring them in or you can wait until tomorrow when the photos will show up in the system and then your card will be unlocked”. I don’t want to do either of those things bc going home and coming back then going back to the fabric store would take another like two hours. So I say fuck it and go to pick up my sister with the intent of dragging her back to the fabric store and getting her to use her card.

at that moment it starts fucking bucketing. I start driving to her friend’s house and the road is nearly flooded I was so worried. And then as I’m heading out I end up directed onto the highway (highway driving makes me really anxious so I try to avoid it so I’m panicking). At this point the rain is coming down in sheets and I can’t see anything. Im about to cry. I exit the highway and then get directed onto another highway. The traffic is so bad that I can’t make it to the left turn lane and I miss my turn. I only barely make it to the next left turn and thank god I did bc if i didn’t I’d be on my way to the next town.

I get to my sister’s friend’s place and my sister gets in the car and I ask if we can go back to the fabric store and have her buy the poor fabric I have left cut and alone just sitting there (I felt bad. They had cut it for me already I needed to get it). She says no problem and so we head once more to the fabric store.

we pull up and the lights are off. It’s 3pm. They should not be closed. Confused, we get out and go to check, and they are in fact closed. A woman comes up to us and explains that THE FUCKING POWER WENT OUT IN THE ENTIRE MALL. They were closed for the day, along with every other store there, including the spirit halloween that I needed to go to as well and the a&w my sister wanted to grab food at

so we drive away. I have literally gained nothing from this. I have bought none of the things I needed to get. I have wasted so much gas. It is now 3:30 and I have done zero of the things I wanted to get done today. I was literally crying

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] GOOD MORNIGN BESTIE I HOPE YOURE HAVING A NICE EVENINGGG i saw ur post abt the xlmi big fic progress and how it just?? i was 😭😭????? NAUR WAY THATS HORRIBLEEE i hope you'll manage to fix it since theres so many Words so many stuff there to rewrite aaAAGHHHH you r gods strongest soldier to endure dat fr....

ive been doing okay since the past week but boy do i have to tell u my brainrotting is like a permanent disease it is hell to keep everything in check with my irl work so thats that LMAOO AND I JUST KNEW IF THAT FIC IS FINISHED ONE DAY ITLL ADD INTO THE PILE IN MY BRAIN BUT I WILL ENJOY IT I SHWEAR TO U i just know u'll nail it so good idk whats the actual point im giving here IM JUST YEAH. YEAGHHHHHHAHHH 👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

btw ur respons 2 my recent ask,... i sent that out of catharsis cus i miss theym sm and now i read back and i was ugughuhuhu. anyway. yknow when i overanalyze things right.... i still think abt ur past response on the case of xiao's vulnerability and u saying along the lines how i portrayed it being realistic as i can bc i know the stakes of it the people who are involved the way both he and those who witness it and care for him respond that i keep every aspect of it in character. i had to go back to that ask to write this KFHWHFHHD BUT YKNOW i just wanna point out cus im feeling eck of Stuff and remembering that makes me feel better cus i been doubting saur hard abt it coming fron self indulgence so it can get Out Of Hand SO I HOPE U KNOW THAT OK. U ARE SO AWESOME SO REAL FOR IT AND I LOVE YUOU SM UEUEUUEUEUEUEUE I HOPE U HAVE A GREAT NIGHT AND COMFY SLEEP SOON holds ur hands warmly spinning us together and we helicopter our way into the stars <333333333

GOOD MORNING BESTIE !!!!!!!!!!! I AM HAVING A GOOD EVENING THANK U :DDD <33333

i think ive fixed the Vast Majority of what needed to be fixed, im gonna be so fr i. realized what was wrong, Took A Fucking Nap, and then when i woke up i cracked my knuckles and got to work fixing/editing and there May be small parts/details i missed BUT if there are ill catch them when i Really Truly edit the fic (i.e. when its almost done and i read the entire thing out loud to myself to catch as many errors as possible)

i love u so so so bad, sometimes things are wildly self indulgent and very realistic and true to canon sometimes true geniuses (read: You) are able to seamlessly mix the two and its so rare in fandom in general but you manage it every time i will never understand how yet i will always be SO grateful for it and for all that you share

UR JUST AS AWESOME AND ILY JUST AS MUCH !!!!!!!! THANK U SM PLEADING FACE EMOJI I HOPE U HAVE AN AMAZING DAY TODAY !!!!!!!! holding UR hands as we helicopter into the stars can we pretend like airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars <- thats us but instead of crying/wishing we ARE the shooting stars we are the dream come true <- i literally have no fucking idea what im saying i just used the last of my brainpower to finish up this one scene and now im back to being fried </3

[yukidiaries]

I rate my all(probably) teacher because i have absoloutely nothing to do and i hate my life and i hate studying and i hate school and i am going insane (i really hope now one of my school knows that its me and sees this or ill maybe actually kill myself).

TLE Teacher: first impression of him was intimidating but is actually not that bad lol, but still tho, why the fuck did you make us memorize 10 procedures in exact at the ass nighttime, 7/10, i will never rate anyone above the 8

MAPEH and ENGLISH Teacher: ok, i must admit, you are nice, BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE YOUR EXAMS AND INDENTIFICATIONS AND QUIZZES FUCKING IMMPOSSIBLE AND YOU REALLY EXPECT US TO FUCKING GET IT CORRECTLY AAAAAAAAA-, 2/10, why, its always hard to review the indentifications 😭😭😭😭😭, the source of my endless will to kms

SOCIAL Teacher: why so strict and scary 💀😭, he has the same vibe/feeling/looks or what ever as the TLE teacher but he's more cheerful-like and less akward, oh dear they were complete polar opposites, the other one looks scary, but is actually a bit nice(atleast), he looks approachable(he still tries to at this even time and i always fall for it bc his activities was 'not boring'), but is SCARY AS FU-, bro is scary, i feel like i was about cry when he said that i should speak more louder like "What did i say about my rules in this class" always says it like that in a scary way bro im gonna cry dude why does nobody understanddddd 😭😭😭😭😭, he fr dont understand us shy people, bro actually looks like hes always about to cry ive got a theory that hes always like hes about to cry bc he gets scholed by some person or idk abt him being so strict and is actually holding back on scholding students (bro probably hit a student by his attitude dont judge me its a students responsibility to assume ok) and like actually mentions on getting scholded by some idk, bro i saw that "IM DONE" in ur files bro prol venting (ik im probably misunderstanding like who tf would leave that in the whole ass class but he could be just like me fr to ignore and act like its isnt there and hope they dont notice it like me 💀 i can assume ok bish) probably has anger issues? BUT THATS JUST A THEORY, AAAA- Man, 2/10, wtf

FILIPINO Teacher: Hello advisor, you chill, and nice good humor, good tiktok dancing mov- ...excuse me, nice good easy pc exam, i hate essays tho, also why high expectations for me and give me the unfairty and made me merorize the hardest speech even if i was a tranferee 💀💀💀😭😭😭, and why my hardwork of studying on a lesson then you skip it tho, thank you for that tho, bc the mfing lesson is hard thank for skipping it, thank for the swimming pool, 8/10

SCIENCE Teacher: She feels like just my old school's English teacher, she chill, she cool, thanks for actually hearing out my excuses to get perfect grades lol, 7/10, W teacher

MATH Teacher: 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 Dont even get me STARTED im already tired bro, like, ik you old but, WHY YOU ALWAYS TEACH SO WRONG AAAA, like dude, just look at her answers youll literary understand me, its ok if it just a little mistake but like umh... thats too much for a "Pro,fe,tio,nal teachers" 💀💀💀, she wont accept crap, she either ignores it, or blames the student 💀💀💀💀, i also have that fucking feeling where shes favoriting the son of the principal on the school like wtf dude, also why do you make us just copy the answers 💀💀💀💀💀 i can excuse the lack of activity on checking our answers even if you promised to do it already like 2+ times but pleaseee why are you making us copy the answers except of making us train our brain and say that "Parents will come here and complain about your grades" like broooooooooooo 😭😭😭, everyone of us got probably atleast 15 mistake in math exam for no reason just because of her one single typographical error and didnt even correct it 💀, 2/10 u and my father is literary the same whats worse is me put both in the same room with both of you and math, i feel like dying

Peyn

[jupiterswlrd]

Spectacular- mark lee

mark never intended on getting bit by a spider on his was home in the subway, he also never intended on saving you from falling in front of the moving train car either. it was all just some sort of sick coincidence. mark had never believed in super powers, yeah what he saw on TV and comics book was cool but it was never realistic. ‘someone just can’t magically change over night’ he thought to himself all the time.

that was, until it happened to him. after his little run in with you he went home and took a nap, shook up a bit on how well his grip on your jacket was, almost like his hands were stuck to you. ‘crazy...’ he chuckled drifting off to sleep. when he woke up his found his upper part of he bunk covered in spider webs.

“ew” he said quietly trying not to wake his roommate haechan up. ‘maybe if hyuck would be a cleaner we wouldn’t have this issue’ mark struggled to sit up something making him stick to his bed. he flopped all around his bed, webs confining his arms to the bed. he finally broke one and somehow tripped off of his bunk. he prepared for his body to hit the ground but something caught him. a string of webs wrapped around his ankle and attached the top bunk. he was confused, but he was mostly relieved. “mark?....” haechan opened his eyes wondering why he saw his roommate dangling from what seemed to be the ceiling. with that the web snapped causing mark to fall on his head.

“dude...” haechan observed mark like he was some foreign species. “did you do that?” he pointed to the the webs covering marks bunk. “n-no!?!?” mark looked at the younger boy like he was out of his mind “do i look like a spider to you?” haechan stared at him for a long minute. “...there’s a fucking web growing out of your wrist right now....”

“HUH?” mark flung his hand somewhere, flinching in a way. haechan grunted loudly his head banging aganist the wall. his body was taped to the wall with one big web. “MARK” he yelled in amazement and extreme pain and discomfort. “I promise i didn’t do that....” mark didn’t know what to do with his hands, he stuck them in the pockets of his shorts fearing himself and what he’d do. haechan eventually broke free, examining the web pattern closely. He had a thing for spiders.

“this is completely unique...your webs have a little M in them. we should take to these y/n, you know shes a science freak” mark completely shut down at the thought of you seeing him shoot webs out of hands. what if you thought he was some kind of freak? “THATS NOT AN OPTIO-“ then you walked into their dorm room, unannounced and unwarranted. “i heard my name from outside the hallway, why are you all so l—“ you were confused to see that mark was no where to be found. “uhhh?? i thought i heard marks voice”

“you di—“ haechan did a double take “oh haha, yeah we were on the phone he’s in the bathroom— he got stuck in the toilet”

haechan shoved you out the room nervously. “yeah so y/n, we’ll see you in class okay?” once you were successfully pushed out the room, mark was sitting with his legs crossed his head in his hands. “bro what the fuck was that?” haechan slammed the door and locked it. “what was what?”

“i don’t know your little disappearing ac— YOU CAN TURN INVISIBLE”

“haechan are you on drugs? you have to be on drugs only people with POWERS can do that and that’s not possible be—“

haechan clamped a hand over marks mouth.

“dude you’ve done the impossible for like 2 hours now, you have powers” the younger boy slid on his shoes and grabbed his jacket. “where are you going?” mark asked laying back down. “you mean where are WE going” he threw marks slides at his head.

“we’re gonna go see what you can do.”

mark and haechan went out to a abandoned parking lot. haechan was good at making something out of nothing figuratively and quite literally. “okay mark pick up that big ass tire over there” mark walked over to it, absentmindedly picking it up “this one?”

haechan pulled a clipboard out his backpack “okay superstrength...check”

after many trials and errors. mark and donghyuck found out that he was very agile, very fast, and very sticky. mark couldn’t go 3 seconds with out sticking to something.

as mark and haechan were walking back to the dorms, mark heard something his ears turned up as he looked around. “do you hear that?” mark pulled his hoodie up and walked a bit faster. “no what do you hear? is everything oka—“ mark took off running in the opposite direction past the parking lot, leaving his backpack and a confused Lee Donghyuck behind him.

mark turned the corner the feeling that was rushing through his body, it was more than adrenaline it was like an itch that so desperately needed to be scratched. he had to find out what that noise was. he found himself in the subway again. the same place his was now 24 hours ago. his head was now spinning the same place he was bitten now stinging more than ever.

his balance was off and his body felt weak. mark blinked harshly, the itch slowly fading away. but everything was fading away he slipped into darkness, passing out on the grimy new york subway floor.

“mark” a familiar voice called out to him. “yes y/n?” he responded, a swirl of neon colors surrounded him, his skin was no longer slightly tan it was neon red with some swirls of blue. he was still in the subway but it was empty. dead silent his own thoughts, and spiders the only things in the station. you were in the form a beautiful pink tarantula crawling all over marks body.

“you know what you have to do right?”

“what do i have to do?”

“save new york” you brushed against his cheek lovingly “save our friends, save me, and most of all” you had somehow reappeared in front of him crawling down from her own line of webs. “save yourself.”

“how do i do that?”

“22nd street my love”

mark heard that laugh he always loved to hear, then a sharp pain in his arm again.

“FUCK” he yelled when he woke up, surprised to see that it wasn’t the “pink tarantula” that hit him, but an IV going into the underside of his wrist.

“calm down mr.lee it’s okay, you had quite a scare there” a nurse rubbed his forehead “anything i can get you? some water? some juice you had a pretty bad panic attack there”

mark sighed

‘how am i supposed to save new york with anxiety?’

☀︎☂︎☀︎☂︎

“hyuck” mark said as they walked home from the hospital. “yeah?” he responded taking one of his headphones out his ear. “have you ever been to 22nd street?” haechan shrugged “yeah i’ve been by there, it’s nothing but some apartments...why?”

“i think we have to go there”

that piqued haechan interest, not in a good way though. “you’re not tired i mean...i know you have super stamina but you just had such a bad anxiety attack you passed out” he blinked “i don’t see how you’re not exhausted, fuck— even IM exhausted” mark shrugged and walked in the other direction in hopes to catch a bus, “you coming?”

“so am i like your agent or something” haechan said smacking on the lunchable from his backpack loudly, so loud that mark couldn’t even hear himself think. between the homeless people, the bucket drum line, haechan obnoxious chewing, mark couldn’t hear himself think. “OKAY JUST SHUT UP” he snapped, all attention on him. “oh— uh not you guys i—“ mark quickly became flustered looking at haechan for some help. “OH— uhhh, my friend here has a disorder. sorry about that” haechan rubbed mark on the back, watching as heads turned back to what the were doing. “thank god” mark sighed in relief as they reached their stop. “i feel something...” the same ringing in his ears was back, becoming quieter as he walked in different directions dragging haechan in zigzags along with him

finally, mark and haechan arrived at their “destination”. all it appeared to be was just a regular apartment building. “what the fuck?” mark huffed slamming his fists aganist the wall, accidentally triggering something.

the small alley way they were in between revealed a door, the two boys looked at each other in pure amazement as they jumped through. “what is this?” mark said in awe staring down the walls. “don’t touch anything” an older man said swatting his hand away “you’re the new guy?” he looked mark up and down “the standards must be in hell”

“hi nice to meet you too!” mark sarcastically said. “i didn’t ask.” the man simply replied. “follow me though.” the boys did as they were told. “i believe that we were all put on this earth for one reason, to wreck havoc and help when havoc wrecks things” the older man laughed at his own terrible joke. “that’s why some people their genetic code is different, they’re products of some very expensive experiments, and my favorite” he chuckled “wrong place right time”

“so where do i fall?” mark wondered out loud. “the third one sweetheart” the older man bent down into a mini fridge and got out something to drink. “so basically what i’m saying kid.” he slurped it loudly in marks ears “help when havoc wrecks, whenever it does”with the snap of fingers, haechan and mark were back home and mark was dressed in a red and blue spandax suit. a black spider embroidered on the chest. “bro? you look—“ mark raised a brow, thinking he was still in his regular clothes. “you look like an actual superhero!” haechan danced around the room. “i do?” he stepped infront of the mirror “oh— I DO”

“what should i call myself. tarantula boy?—no too weird spider boy? no too immature”

“spider-man” haechan suggested

“spider-man...” mark said to himself in the mirror.

“i guess i’m spider man...”

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Teenage Years)

Tony Stark x daughter!reader

warnings:

a/n: this is LONG so please dont let this flop

prompt: y/n is 12-16, takes place from Avengers 1 to Avengers 2

The Early Years (1) The Intense Years (3) The Aftermath (4) Continued (5)

starting out with tony powering stark tower with clean energy:

it was very late, you were supposed to be asleep

“what are you doing up, missy? it’s way past your bedtime”

“it’s my fault, i let her stay up to see her dad’s big achievement” -pepper

just vibing on the couch with absolutely no intention of sleeping anytime soon

you really did take after your dad

“how was the show, sweetheart?”

“uh, cool?”

coulson showing up when he did

you were excited bc you knew he had to be there for superhero stuff

“hi, agent coulson!!”

“hey there, kiddo!

BEGGING to come with your dad

“no. absolutely not. there is absolutely no way im letting you get involved in any of this”

you got involved

but like, not the whole “im a 12 year old superhero” involved

“y/n, sweetie, this is dr. banner, you’re gonna be his assistant in the lab!”

“—what?” *bruce utterly shocked*

talking that man’s ear off oh my GOD

he taught you a few things along the way, though

it ended up being very educational

“yeah i built my own suit! it’s definitely not as cool as my dad’s...and he put a bunch of safety controls on it. obviously, i could bypass them and do whatever i wanted, but it’s best not to break his trust, you know?”

“you are astonishingly wise for a 12 year old”

bruce being kind of scared around you because he thinks he could hurt you

also scared you might hurt yourself on the scepter

CASUALLY talking to the rest of the avengers

“so, you’re stark’s daughter? now i’ve met three generations of starks.” -steve

“oh, wonderful, there’s a smaller one!” -thor

“hey, y/n, it’s good to see you again. still practicing those moves i showed you?” -natasha

listennnn as you got older you started to exert more of your father’s personality traits

you developed his sarcastic and occasionally ill-timed humor...and

YOU WERE COCKY AS FUCK

“i mean, i’m not saying that i’m better than you but i know you’re thinking it”

when the helicarrier was attacked nobody really knew the correct way to protect you

“dad? dad??”

“right here, y/n, come with me”

tony brought your suit for emergency purposes

“you put this on and you stay here, understand?”

oh, another thing you got from him? NOT LISTENING

helping where you could, the first step to becoming a superhero, right?

being really upset when coulson died

but understanding that it was apart of the job

going back to new york for some alien ass kicking and having the whole team check on you every thirty seconds

“y/n, how’s it going?” “stark junior, are you doing okay?” “need any help out there, kid?”

“you guys don’t have to babysit me” “i’m still kickin’ it, thanks”

tony calling right before he went through the wormhole

“hey sweetheart, just gotta let you know that i love you and i am so proud of everything you’ve done”

the avengers holding you back from him when he fell back to the ground because you were unreasonably worried for obvious reasons

“is he breathing? steve? steve, let me see him! JARVIS, are you there?”

falling on the ground and hugging him (with your clunky-ass armor still on)

“hey! yeah, i missed you too”

*clink clink* pat on the back

schwarma stop

“you’re gonna eat it and you’re gonna like it”

having your own input on the stark tower remodel

taking a slight pause for random stuff

you’ve definitely drawn his mustache/goatee on your face before

“please tell me that’s not permanent marker”

“it’s permanent marker”

you and pepper doing mother/daughter things for bonding (but you and her already had a great relationship)

unreasonable amount of cussing from your father has rubbed off onto you and now he doesn’t notice when you say bad words

natasha taught you how to shoot so that was cool

“if i can shoot a repulsor, i think i can shoot a gun”

“whatever you say, baby stark”

obviously the team is just a bunch of protective uncles and an aunt

“i miss [insert avenger here]”

resume to iron man 3

just tinkering in the shop with pops

“are you sure that’s safe, dad?”

“duh, why wouldn’t it be safe?”

you were right and it was not safe

sometimes you proved your dad wrong and it made him happy?

“well would you look at that, you’re right”

learning how to help your dad with his anxiety and panic attacks

the house in malibu got blown up and your dad disappeared

you were benched by pepper effective immediately

“don’t you think it would be better if i were still out there? someone has to be out there and...i don’t know, protect the people?”

“y/n, please, you’re still a kid. i can excuse fighting aliens but i draw the line at terrorism”

“you can excuse fighting aliens??”

pepper sent you to a different house and hired a...babysitter

zip zip zip its AOU time yall remember the beginning of that at the hydra base

*explosion* “oh, shit! didn’t mean to do that...”

“watch your language, y/n!” -cap

“don’t tell my daughter what to do!”

having an external monologue that everyone just kind of rolls with

“glad i put a heater in this suit” “anyone up for burgers?” *humming Eye of the Tiger*

going back to the lab with tony and bruce and being very uncomfortable with the idea of ultron

“okay dad, you know how im usually right?”

“lighten up, kiddo. remember what i taught you about trial and error? this is a learning experience”

*bruce and you side eying*

“i’ll ground you”

“what?!”

“kidding, im kidding”

a lot of kid jokes from other partygoers

“isnt it past your bedtime”

“very funny”

actually dressing up nice for a change, as opposed to an oil-stained band tee

but then ur outfit was ruined because you had to shoot murder bots :(

“not cool! i designed this room!”

tony still got all the blame for ultron while you and bruce went 😬

tony made a joke about ultron being your brother and you didn’t talk to him for hours

“oh, come on! you have to learn to laugh at your mistakes!”

“poor choice of words, stark” -literally everyone

🎶getting to see your worst feaaar🎶

which was a mixture between tony not surviving the wormhole and being abandoned and vulnerable again

your phone got confiscated “because of ultron”

meeting wanda and pietro on better terms

“you are stark’s daughter?”

“um, yeah, that’s me. i sincerely apologize for anything he’s ever done wrong while i’ve been alive”

actually getting along with them (plus you were in a similar age range)

“uncle rhodey!!!”

“staying out of trouble, i hope?”

“define ‘trouble’”

okay okay, enough of that. besides a few robots hitting you and you hitting harder...and ultron taking a couple personal jabs at you after accessing some of your social media accounts...it went back to normal(ish)

you made a friend of wanda and visited the avengers compound weekly and helped with training

and nat gave you some spy pointers to help you if you ever found yourself without the suit

when you left the compound after thor that day, you had some nice father/daughter time

“why don’t i give you a driving lesson, yeah?”

“you’re gonna trust me to drive this thing?”

“sure, why not?”

you drove very fast, wonder where you learned that from

he was clasping onto the seats and whispering curse words

“next time, you can drive with happy”

[starcherryberry]

ℂ𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕣𝕤 → 𝕐𝔾 𝕩 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕩 𝕁𝕂 | 𝕄.

→ ❝ With your final semester left of university you expected to go through it easily however an issue with your credits leads you to take Professor Min’s Painting 101 course.❞

☾ Pairing: Professor!Yoongi Painter!Yoongi x Student!Reader x Student!Jungkook (this was suppose to be a yoongi x reader but somehow my mind wandered and jungkook came in lmao it be like that sometimes)

☾ Type: Poly!Relationship (literally you won’t see it until like the ending but oops)

☾ Genre: Smut  ☆  Angst  ☆  Fluff

☾ Word Count: 7.3k

↠ Warnings: there is an age gap between all characters involved, if you are not comfortable with that please refrain from reading. Dom!Yoongi, Dom!Jungkook, Big Cock!Yoongi, Big Cock!Jungkook, Sub!Reader, fingering, Public Sex in classroom, Body Worship (mainly JK), cockwarming (sort of not really but like for a few mins) unprotected sex (jeez many times someone wrap their doodles please)

✉ Song Recommendations: (I love kdrama osts don’t hate me, also these are all spotify links so use youtube if you don’t have it) (Legit none of these fit the tone of the fic I just luv to recommend sht hehe)

♡ Weki Meki- Love Diamond

♡  Jus2- Take

♡  Junggigo- Too Good

♡  Punch, Glabingo- Beautiful Beautiful (watch hit the top it’s a beautiful kdrama hehe)

✉ Note: Anyways this is my first fic to be uploaded on tumblr! I spent a long time revising & working on this legit I have been staring at my computer for way too long and my eyes hurt because I wanted to get this out. It’s currently 4am as I upload this so if there are errors in the text I apologize in advance. (a girl is tired) Please don’t steal! This fanfic was inspired by the constant Youtube painting lives Yoongi has had. In the midst of writing I added Jungkook because he added more into the story. I was thinking of making this into a Occupation!BTS collection where I can make one for each member with different story lines. Let me know if you want me to do so in the comments below! (okay im talking to much bye)

��Y/N it seems like you still need 4 more credits added to your schedule to be eligible to graduate this semester.” your advisor told you. You honestly didn’t know you still needed more credits to graduate, you never cared to look. So when it came to registering, you signed up for the courses you needed as part of your International Studies degree. 

“What courses are still available for registration?” you asked even though you knew the number of courses to be left must be very few. “Well there is one course open, it’s Professor Min’s Painting 101. He’s a new professor here so it makes sense as to why not many students signed up with him yet.  Even though this course isn’t a requirement for your major, it will definitely cover up for the credits you need Y/N so I suggest you sign up for this. His course runs every Friday at 1 pm-3 pm” your advisor said as she handed you a summary of Professor Min’s course.

You looked over the summary of the course to know what you’re getting yourself into. It was a 101 class so of course, you will be in a class full of freshmen. That wasn’t too exciting however you didn’t mind painting, you are actually quite great at it as a hobby. With one last look at the sheet, you turn to your advisor “Okay I’ll take the course”.

It was finally Friday and today includes your very first class with Professor Min. Unfortunately, you couldn’t go on Rate My Professor to see what kind of teacher was he since he’s new. ‘I swear if he’s an asshole, I’m gonna give him a fucking one’ you thought to yourself. 

You were standing right in front of his classroom, sighing you stepped in to see a couple of students already seated. You tried looking for a seat next to an empty one only to see none, so you had to sit next to someone. Looking around the classroom to observe the students there, you saw a boy with long hair covering his eyes. ‘He looks like someone who won’t speak to me that’s perfect’ you thought as you made your way over and sat next to the boy. 

The boy looked up, staring at you for a bit before speaking “Hello! My name is Jungkook” he said smiling. ‘Oh for fuck’s sake, I forgot how friendly these freshmen are on the first day because they have no friends’ you thought. “Uh, h-hi my name is Y/N” you waved slightly at him. 

“Are you majoring in arts too?” he asked, his eyes were wide in a cute way. “No, actually I’m an International Studies major. I’m only taking this course for extra credits to graduate” you smiled at him. “Oh...so you must be older than me” he chuckled. You had, to be honest, his laugh was pretty cute. “Yeah I’m 22 however I’d like to think I was younger” you laughed and Jungkook laughed with you. You and Jungkook continued to talk until class began.

Suddenly the door opened and revealed a man who looked young with long brown and blonde hair. ‘Fuck he’s hot’ you thought as your gaze focused on him walking in. Jungkook leaned in and whispered in your ear “He’s quite the eye candy right” and you nodded. What else were you supposed to say of course you didn’t expect your painting professor to be a man who looked like he was in his mid 20’s. 

Professor Min’s eyes scanned the classroom before stopping on you for a bit. You could feel your face reddening as you felt his gaze on you. ‘Fuck stop thinking like this Y/N’. As you looked up at Professor Min he broke the stare and sat at his desk. “Okay, my name is Professor Min and welcome to my Painting 101 class, this course will include beginner level painting. You will learn the steps to becoming a better painter. I expect each and every one of you to come out of this class with at least more confidence in the arts.” he said as he looked over the class. 

Professor Min then took out his clipboard with the attendance sheet. He checked off each student one by one before hovering over your name tilting his head before looking up at you “Miss Y/N?” You immediately looked up at him “Yes?”. “It says here you’re a senior majoring in International Studies, is there a reason why you’re taking my course?” he asked still having his gaze on you.

“Ah um well I needed an extra course to get enough credits to graduate this semester and your course was the only option. However, I really like to paint as a hobby so I thought this class would be easy to take!” You answered trying to sound like you’re happy with taking the class. Professor Min nodded to your response “I see well welcome to the class as well” he smiled before standing up. 

“So for today’s class, we’ll start easy. Each of you will be doing individual work today by making a simple painting of your choice. I decided to make this a first-day activity because I want to see where you are in terms of levels of performance with painting however expect me to make some comments as this is a college course not a high school course. This will be due in class today. I expect each of you to explain your paintings and why you made them the way they are. You have 2 hours, so please get to your stations, the materials needed are on the carts in the corner.” Professor Min stated as he went back to his desk and started to go over some paperwork while we all began to work.

The two hours of painting were almost up and to be honest you were very satisfied with your painting. You painted two pink roses tied together that were falling from the sky. ‘Professor Min is going to love this’ you smiled at the thought. Jungkook looked over your shoulder to see what you painted and laughed a bit. “That’s definitely very simple but it’s cute Y/N,” he laughed giving you a light pat on the back. You turned to see what Jungkook painted to see that he made a fucking portrait of himself A PORTRAIT! “What the fuck Jungkook how did you get that done within just 2 hours?” you ask as now you felt not so confident in your painting anymore. “Well, I am a visual arts major what did you expect” Jungkook laughed as you rolled your eyes.

“Okay the 2 hours are up, I will start walking around the class to individually speak about your paintings. Once I grade them you can leave the classroom. I will post your homework for the week on canvas so make sure to check!” Professor Min said as he started to walk around the classroom to grade students.

Soon enough he reached Jungkook and he had no problem explaining his portrait of himself. “I really love the details of your painting Jungkook, I can see you will probably be one of the more advanced skilled students in our class, your grade for this assignment is an A” Professor Min smiled as he then turned to your painting. Jungkook had packed up his things and waved at you before leaving the classroom. 

It was just you and Professor Min in the classroom so the amount of nervousness you felt was really high. “Alright Y/N explain your painting to me” he asked as he looked directly at you. “Well, as you can see I painted two pink roses tied together that are also in the midst of falling from the sky. I actually didn’t know what to paint at the beginning if I had to be honest but I just let my head flow with whatever came to my mind first which was roses. Roses signify love, I’ve actually never felt that before but pink roses comfort me a lot which is why I painted them falling from the sky. The roses are not within the grass they are falling because they haven’t gotten to me even though I think about them a lot.” You were satisfied with your answer as you smiled at Professor Min.

He nodded and looked at your painting again. “I like the story behind this painting Y/N however I feel like you can add more detail in your painting. Maybe add something else to pair with the flowers or add some scenery behind it so it doesn’t look like a plain sky. I see lots of paintings like this Y/N and it’s too simple for the meaning behind it when other paintings look exactly like this. Try and add more of your other feelings to this. I will give you a C for this however if you take it home and re-do it, I can consider regrading your work” Professor Min said as he wrote down your grade on his clipboard and smiled “I’ll see you next Friday Miss Y/N” he said as he walked back to his desk. 

You just stood there trying to process what the fuck he just told you. It needed more detail, more work? You were sure you added everything you needed that was in your head. ‘I can’t believe this, Jungkook painted himself and got an A, what did I do wrong?’ you thought. “Miss Y/N are you alright?” Professor Min spoke up as he saw you still standing at your station. You snapped out of it and nodded over at him “Y-yeah I was just thinking of something else sorry, have a nice day!” you said as you grabbed your bag and your painting before rushing out the classroom. ‘I hope you choke on your fucking coffee Professor Min’ you thought as soon as you exited.

It was Friday again and throughout the week you worked on revising your painting as well as become close friends with Jungkook. “Did you get your painting done Y/N?” Jungkook asked as you sat down next to him. “Yeah, I was able to finish it hopefully he’s happy with this one even though I don’t understand what I did wrong in the first place,” you said sighing while taking your painting out and setting it next to your desk. “I thought it was fine even though it was simple, I think he’s just messing with you” Jungkook laughed. “If he’s messing with me I will chop his dick off for real,” you said frustrated.“ “I see I hope you don’t plan on doing that to me too” Jungkook laughed again. “As long as you don’t piss me off too much Kook then you’ll be fine” you smiled.

In the midst of talking, Professor Min walked in “Good Afternoon class, I hope you all have your homework ready to hand in. It will be the first thing we talk about in class today”. He said as he walked up to the chalkboard to write the word ‘blue’ on it. Shit shit shit, you forgot to do your homework because you were so focused on trying to redo your painting. Seeing you in distress, Jungkook handed you a sheet of paper and winked at you. You saw a post-it note on it and it said ‘I know you were trying to get your painting done all week so I did your homework for you!’. You smiled at the note before turning to Jungkook to give him a finger heart.

“So today before we start class we will go over the homework. Before I do that please pass them up so I know none of you are going to try adding in answers.” Professor Min said as we all started to hand our homework up. “This week’s homework was to give off your own meaning of the color blue, what does it mean to you and why did you think of that when you see or think of the color blue? Compared to many other colors, blue seems to be misinterpreted the most so I wanted to see what you all thought about it before we go more into observing colors” Professor Min said as he looked over the class before his eyes landed on you. “Miss Y/N what does the color blue mean to you,” he asked.

Trying to remember what you saw in your homework that Jungkook did you tried to answer. “When I see the color blue I think about the feeling of loneliness, it’s a color that for some reason emits sadness. Whenever I am alone and have no one, the color that first comes into mind to describe my feeling is blue,” you said as you exhaled feeling like you were holding your breath because you could still feel Professor Min’s intense gaze on you. He stared at you before responding “That’s an answer I expected, I am sure many of us had similar answers. The color blue definitely has a sort of tie to sadness however blue can have other meanings too, for example, it can symbolize healing.” Professor Min said. 

“Since we have about an hour left, I’d like for you all to go to your stations, and paint a fruit that represents you, the fruit must contain one of the colors we talked about today. Expect that all your paintings in class to represent yourself, because painting expresses the feeling of the artist themselves.” Professor Min said as he smiled.

“This is going to be a piece of cake,” Jungkook said as he turned to his canvas. “Do you think he’s going to correct me on this painting too?” you asked Jungkook while getting your palette out. He shook his head “Nah, come on Y/N this is fucking fruit we’re talking about there’s no way he won’t give you an A”. You honestly hope Jungkook was speaking the truth.

The class was almost over and the fruit you ended up painting was strawberries. You thought it came out pretty cute. As you turned to Jungkook’s painting you tilted your head “Weren’t we supposed to paint only one fruit, why did you paint a whole fruits basket?” you asked. Jungkook shrugged “I didn’t know what fruit to paint, I feel like I am someone with many traits that can’t be linked to just one fruit, so hopefully Professor Min likes it.” he said.

Professor Min started to walk around the classroom in order so that meant you would be last in the classroom again. He reached Jungkook “Wow Jungkook it seems as you thought outside of the box, tell me what your painting means,” Professor Min said happily. Jungkook chuckled before responding “Well I feel like my life can’t be represented through one fruit, I like to think highly of myself so painting every fruit I could think of expresses that I am happy and that having all these traits is not a problem as long as I feel content with it” Jungkook explained.

Professor Min nodded “You impressed me yet again Jungkook, that’s an A” he smiled as he moved onto your station. Jungkook gave you a huge smile and a thumbs up before leaving the classroom. “Before you show me your fruit painting I want to see your revised painting of your roses Y/N,” Professor Min said. You handed him the painting of your roses. “I added a scenery behind the roses, as you can see I added an ocean behind them. You don’t see flowers growing near the ocean, I put them there because reaching the feeling of love is rare for me and it usually wouldn’t go too far so the roses would die even if they land in the sand or water.” You spoke hoping Professor Min can give you an A.

Professor Min sighed “I think you’re thinking to deep into your feelings Y/N, the painting is beautiful actually however I’m sure love will be successful to you one day. I will up your grade for this painting to an A” he said as he moved onto your fruit painting. “Thank you! For my fruit painting, I decided to paint strawberries, they represent happiness because whenever I go eat them I’m always reminded of the pretty things in life.” You stated happily. “I think that’s a nice way to go about it Y/N however I think your strawberries need a little more detailing maybe add a prop like how jungkook added his fruits into a basket. I’ll give this a C, feel free to re-do it, and turn it in next Friday.” Professor Min said as he turned away without letting you speak.

What the fuck a C again? You didn’t understand but you didn’t care. If Professor Min wanted you to fix it then you will because you simply just wanted to graduate.

As each week passed by you became more and more frustrated. No matter what you did with all your paintings Professor Min always gives you a C just to regrade to an A once you redid them. “I’m literally going to fucking kill him if he gives me a C one more damn time” you rolled your eyes as you started to eat your pizza. 

“I think he’s hitting on you Y/N” Jungkook simply said as he sipped his banana milk. With that, you started to choke on your food “W-what?” you were sure that was not it, definitely, Professor Min hates you. “I don’t know it’s just weird that he keeps doing that and that he leaves you for last when it comes to grading. Plus you’re a senior right? Professor Min is only 27 there’s not too big of an age gap between the two of you.” he shrugged as he bit his pizza. “There’s no way in fucking hell he’s hitting on me, plus isn’t that illegal for a professor to do that?!” you questioned

“Not really as long as you both give consent to each other and keep it low it’s fine, plus you’re graduating so I don’t think he sees an issue.” Jungkook said as you hit him in the head with your phone “Well I promise you that’s not it, let’s not talk about this anymore kook” Jungkook grabbed his head chuckling while you just wanted to shut the conversation off because you honestly didn’t know how to feel if Professor Min actually liked you.

“Alright, so I will be walking around the classroom to look at the different birds each of you painted. This is the last assignment before I give you your final project next week, so I hope many of you improved with this assignment if it’s not good you may have trouble with the final as I will not be offering any regrading on it.” Professor Min firmly stated.

Time passed as he went to each student before reaching Jungkook. “What do we have here Jungkook?” Professor Min asked. “I painted a bluebird Professor Min, I thought it was perfect to paint as it symbolizes the arrival of spring but with the semester ending, I feel like I have put my all into all my works so the bluebird also symbolizes hard work!” Jungkook smiled while answering. “Nicely done Jungkook, you never fail to amaze me with your work. Your grade for this assignment is an A. I actually want to speak with you in my office tomorrow, even though you’re a freshman I feel like I wouldn’t mind having you as a mentor in my courses for next term.” Professor Min said as he smiled widely at Jungkook. ‘Thank you so much, I would love to help mentor students!” Jungkook smiled even his eyes fucking smiled. 

Professor Min walked over to you pulling out your grading sheet. Jungkook packed all of his things happily as he made a big heart with his hands before leaving the classroom. He has a habit of cheering you on with a cute gesture before Professor Min grades you.

“Seems like you have a similar color palette as Jungkook, what bird did you paint,” he asked looking at you. “I painted a Blue Jay Professor Min they have a meaning of being fearless. The reason why I painted it wasn’t because of the meaning but because of the color blue. I was reminded back to the popular meaning of the color blue, sadness. Even though the Blue Jay is fearless it makes me think if it sometimes feels lonely while pulling that Fearless front. I always try to stay strong for myself and pull through but there’s a point where I feel stuck but I don’t want to speak about it. We all experience fear in our lives whether that be alone or with someone else.” You exhaled as you said all of that. ‘Gosh talking for that long while having Professor Min’s stare is having too much of an effect on you’. 

“Wow Y/N the meaning you put to your painting is amazing, I love the connection” he squinted at the painted before continuing. “I think you should add something into the painting that shows what the Blue Jay may have a fear of. Other than that your grade is a C. You can come into my office after Jungkook tomorrow if you want to speak more into redoing this pro-” you cut him off as at this point you already had enough.

“Why a C, I don’t understand Professor Min please make me understand why you give me a fucking C every single time just for you to give me an A after I fix minor mistakes! This isn’t right and I want a true explanation why,” you yelled as you tried to slow down with your breathing.

“Y/N please lower your tone when speaking to me” he calmly said. “No! Just tell me why! I fix everything for you just for you to do the same shit all over again” you said already feeling tears coming up “Just why, please” you begged

“Y/N….your paintings always came out beautiful even without the regrading. I was interested in you on the first day of class when I noticed you were a bit older than all the other students, you stood out to me because this also isn’t your major of focus. You stood out in so many ways and I guess I wanted to get close to you. However, as my status as a professor, I can’t just do it so easily so my way of doing it was trying to keep you in the classroom and in contact with me as long as possible. I wanted to see you more Y/N because I like you.” Professor Min said as he looked into your eyes trying to at least find something.

“P-professor Min…” you stuttered surprised by his confession. “Please call me Yoongi Y/N, class is over” he stated as he got closer to you. “I don’t know what to say...Yoongi” you said moving your gaze to the floor, you couldn’t believe he was doing all this because he liked you, Jungkook was right. Yoongi grabbed your chin lightly as he lifted it before he placed his lips on yours. You kissed back slowly as Yoongi placed his hand behind your head to deepen it.

You could feel yourself starting to get hot as things got intense with the kiss and somehow you’re at Yoongi’s desk sitting on his lap. “Fuck Y/N you’re so beautiful did you know that I’ve been thinking about you like this for a while now,” he said in between the kiss as he could feel you trying to rut on his bulge. He chuckled “I bet your so wet right now Y/N look at you rutting against my cock that’s not even out for you yet.” You whined as you just wanted some pleasure, it’s been a while since you hooked up with anyone. “Yoongi please I just want your cock,” you said trying to rub your clothed core on his lap for stimulation. “Yeah? Want my cock right here huh when anyone can walk in and see my cock stuffed in your pussy?” Yoongi kissed your neck as you moaned. His words were so dirty which turned you on even more. “Yes yes Y-yoongi I need it!” you cried out.

“I need your pants off  Y/N,” he said as he helped you take off your pants leaving you in just your underwear. You couldn’t believe you were doing this in a classroom with your own Professor. You helped Yoongi take his pants off and then you were left staring at his boxers. “Y/N take my cock out and suck” he demanded as he stared at you. You could tell he was already eye-fucking you. You put your hand into the opening of his boxers and pulled out his cock. 

Fuck. He. Was. Huge 

You didn’t waste time given the circumstances you’re in, you started to suck his cock. You couldn’t fit all of him it was too much however Yoongi grabbed the back of your head forcing his cock to go all the way in your mouth making you tear up. “Fuck Y/N that’s it take this cock, I think I’ll come soon” Yoongi growled as he guided your head down his cock. While you were sucking, Yoongi took out his phone to capture the sight of you. He never painted nude paintings because he wanted to wait for someone he loved to do so. Just by looking at you, he wanted to make you into art for only him to see. 

You could feel Yoongi’s grip on your head tighten signaling that he was close to cumming. “Y/N where do you want me to cum sweetheart,” he asked looking down at you his hair sticking to his skin. You pointed to your mouth as you couldn’t form words obviously. “Your mouth is so good for me Y/N taking this cock so well” he grunted before he shot his cum into your mouth slowing down the pace of his hand on your head.

You swallowed every drop before lifting yourself onto his lap and leaning in to kiss him again. “Y/N I want my cock inside you,” he said as he grabbed your ass and positioned you over the tip of his cock before slamming inside you. “Yoongi! Fuck ugh!” you moaned out loud before Yoongi placed his hand on your mouth. “Baby you have to be quiet unless you want to let the whole school know your mine” he whispered in your ear. You moaned loudly into his hands, you couldn’t help it because Yoongi didn’t even let you adjust to his cock.

“Your pussy is so tight Y/N I might cum sooner then I thought” he moaned as he flips you over. Your face was now against his desk as Yoongi was fucking you from behind. “C-cum inside me Y-yoongi!” you cried out without thinking. Yoongi started to thrust harder and deeper “Shit okay Y/N, Do you like that? Having your professors cock inside your sweet little pussy to make you nice and full?” he growled as he started to slam his cock in and out your pussy. “Yes yes yes! I like that Y-yoongi! I-I’m going to cum fuck!” You suddenly saw white spots as your orgasm hit, you could feel Yoongi’s pace fastening as he started to spurt his cum into you.

Oh, fuck what have I done.

Yoongi pulled out slowly catching his breath before putting on his pants. “Y/N? Are you okay sweetheart?” he asked as he grabbed some tissues to clean you up. Without taking a glance at him you started to quickly put on your clothes. “Y/N?” he called out worried that you weren’t responding. “We can’t do this Yo- Professor Min it’s inappropriate and was a mistake I need to go,” you said as you teared up. You quickly grabbed your things ignoring Professor Min’s calling out.

You dialed Jungkook’s number hoping he would pick up. “Hey Y/N finished with talking with Professor Min?” he answered as you sniffled. “Y/N? Are you okay? Do you need me to take you back to your dorm?” he asked. “Please hurry Kook, I c-can’t do this” you pleaded. Jungkook comforted you through the phone as he went over to pick you up.

“So you had sex with Professor Min?” Jungkook blinked repeatedly as he was trying to take in the whole story. You nodded wiping your tears “It was wrong but it felt so good and it’s bothering me kook, I don’t know what to tell him.” Jungkook handed you a tissue “Y/N there’s obviously feelings between the both of you the only thing stopping you are each other statuses. The fact that Yoongi didn’t kick you out of the classroom and offered to clean you shows that he isn’t one of those people. I’m sure he’s hurt too Y/N. The best advice I can give is for both of you to give each other space until you’re ready to confirm your feelings back. If you realize the relationship is no good then let him know.” he stated as he gave you a hug. “Thank you, Kook. I’m surprised you don’t have a girlfriend when you’re so nice” you tried to smile as you were in Jungkook’s arm. 

“I do have a crush on someone but I don’t think she likes me back” he sighed. “At least try but don’t fuck up like me” you chuckled. Jungkook nodded the problem was that you didn’t know that you were his crush. Jungkook was in love with you but he knew that it was never going to happen.

It was suddenly Friday again which means you had to see Yoongi. You were nervous you had no contact with him since you two had sex. You walked into the classroom seeing Jungkook give you a warm smile. Jungkook pointed in front of you so you looked over just to see Professor Min was early however he looked less like his happy self.

“Alright, so today’s class will be short because I will assign you all your final projects. For this project, you must make a collage of a color with multiple shades that speak words. You have 2 weeks to complete this project class dismissed.” Professor Min said as he gathered his things and left the classroom.

“Woah that was quick, Professor Min always uses his full class time no matter what,” Jungkook said as he sighed. “I think it’s because of me Kook, fuck what have I done. I really fucked everything up I’m sure instead of a C he’s going to give me an F.” You felt like crying, to be honest. “Hey, it’s okay. Want to come over my place to destress? We can watch Disney movies?” Jungkook smiled as he wanted to make you happy. You nodded “That would be great Kook” you smiled.

You and Jungkook were currently on the 5th Disney movie for the night. “Why can’t my love life be like a Disney movie, I feel like my story with Yoongi is like one of those tragedies before they get remade into a Disney Movie” you sighed reaching for some strawberries. Jungkook’s grip tightened on his cup of juice, he hated how you only spoke about Yoongi since the incident occurred. “Y/N if you keep thinking about Professor Min you’ll only stress yourself out more, give it a rest for just a bit, and maybe talk with him when finals are done?” he suggested. 

“The problem is that he’s all I ever think about Jungkook, I really thought I could forget about him even while watching these movies but it’s worse now.” you sighed. Jungkook looked at you for a moment before suggesting something that made you confused. “Then let me help you forget,” he said as he looked into your eyes. “Jungkook?” you were confused by what he meant, as you laid your eyes on him his lips were against yours. Unlike the kiss with Yoongi, you weren’t responding back. “Please Y/N…..just for today...let me do this,” he asked as his eyes looked into yours searching for permission to continue. Jungkook was younger than you by a few years but you trust him and know he means no harm and that he just wants to help. You nodded as you kissed Jungkook back.

In just about 5 minutes both yours and Jungkook’s clothes were discarded on the floor. “Fuck Y/N is this what you let Professor Min see? He doesn’t deserve to see your beautiful body.” Jungkook said as he placed his mouth over your nipple. You moaned out “J-Jungkook!” as Jungkook started to suck on your breasts “Did Professor Min worship your breasts like this? I bet he hasn’t huh” he chuckled as he gave you small bites over your chest. Your hands reached to Jungkooks bottom half as you tried to grab his cock. He wasn’t as big as Yoongi but definitely Jungkook’s cock was thicker making your pussy clench around nothing. “Eager aren’t you Y/N? Just want my cock in your tight pussy right?” Jungkook smirked.

“Please Jungkook no teasing I just want you inside” you whined as you could already feel some of your arousal slipping out. Jungkook laid your body onto the couch. He left for a bit to grab something only to come back with a blindfold. “A b-blindfold?” you titled your head.

“I know you don’t love me Y/N, I’m only helping you take your mind off things so I thought having you wear the blindfold would help because I don’t want anything to change between us,” he said as he placed it over your eyes. “Thank you Kook, don’t worry I won’t forget about you and I feel bad for even letting this happen, I don’t want to lead you on,” you said sadly. “Y/N I wanted this too I promise you I’m okay with this,” he said softly.

Jungkook wasted no time as he hovered over you inching his cock slowly inside you. He groaned “Mm Y/N your so fucking wet just for me, look at how easily you’re taking this cock”. You moaned as you felt Jungkook stretching you out, you could only see darkness which caused you to clench on him. He hissed “Y/N please don’t clench like that baby I might cum within seconds.” he laughed. His laugh brought a smile to your face, you definitely felt comfort in Jungkook’s arm.

Jungkook spent his time thrusting into you repeatedly, you could feel yourself about to cum soon as your walls started to tighten around Jungkook’s cock. “K-kook I’m going to cum” you moaned as you gripped Jungkook’s back hard. “F-fuck okay I think I’m going to cum soon too Y/N, want me to cum inside you?” he asked heavily panting as he continued to thrust into you. “Yes come inside me I know you want to Kook” Jungkook’s heart felt like it was going to explode he was doing this for you but he smiled as you cared about his feelings too. You knew that the both of you probably won’t ever do this again which is why you agreed. 

Jungkook changed positions as now you were sitting on his lap, He grabbed your waist making sure to help you with the pace. You wrapped your arms around him as you felt your orgasm hitting you “Jungkook ugh cum in me now” you whined as Jungkook thrust you through your orgasm and then cumming inside you.

You laid on top of Jungkook with his cock still inside you catching your breath. “You good Y/N? Let’s get you cleaned up, you can stay over if you want for the night I’ll sleep on the couch.” Jungkook offered as he slipped your blindfold off.  You nodded already feeling sleepy “Thank you kook, and I’m so so sorry. I really hope one day a person who deserves you a lot will love you” you teared up saying it because you didn’t want to hurt him he’s your friend who loves you and you weren’t sure if you liked him back.

Jungkook smiled as he slipped out of you “Y/N it’s okay I’m just happy that I could take your mind off things for a bit, if it all goes wrong just know I’ll welcome you with open arms” he said as he helped clean you up before handing you some extra clothes to put on.

2 weeks passed like it was nothing and soon enough it was Friday the day finals were due. “What color did you base your collage painting on kook?” you asked him. “Oh I based it on the color purple, apparently it signifies having creativity and I definitely think I represent that” he laughed. “You really love yourself, huh, but that’s a good thing so I can’t really make fun of you for it” you chuckled.

“What about yours Y/N?” with his question you paused before speaking “Well um it’s based around the color pink. I can’t go much into detail but basically this is my confession painting to Professor Min” you said blushing a bit, nervous to speak to Professor Min after weeks have passed. “Ah is that why you didn’t attach an explanation note to your painting,” he asked and you nodded. “Good luck Y/N, I hope everything works out and let me know if you guys get some,” he said wiggling his brows. You laughed and playfully pushed him.

Professor Min walked in and stood in front of the class. “Alright everyone today is your last class with me today. Don’t worry we aren’t going to be doing anything today. All you have to do is bring your canvas up to the front of the room and make sure your explanation notes are attached to your paintings. I hope you all have a wonderful summer break” Professor Min smiled as students started to submit their paintings and then walk out the classroom.

Jungkook patted you lightly on the back and gave you a thumbs up before leaving the classroom. You smiled and started to pack up your things slowly as you waited for Professor Min to notice that you didn’t attach a note to your painting.

“Miss Y/N please come to my desk, the rest of you drop your paintings here and go” he stated.

Here we go, you exhaled before walking over to his desk. “Yes Professor Min?” you asked fully knowing what he was going to tell you. “I don’t see an explanation note attached to your painting,” he said as he looked up at you for the first time in weeks. “I didn’t write one,” you said plainly. “Well since you didn’t write one I am going to have to give you a-” before Professor Min could continue you cut him off “I love you Yoongi,” you said looking at him for a reaction.

“Y/N wha-” he said in a surprised tone. “My painting, it’s my response back to your confession Yoongi. I found love and it’s you” you told him as you started to blush. “Really?” he asked and you nodded.

“Fuck come here Y/N” Yoongi called and you obliged and sat on his lap to start kissing him. “Gosh so that means your mines now?” he asked as he started to undress you. “Y-yes I’m yours now Yoongi officially” you let Yoongi undress you as you stared at his eyes while he was doing so. Yoongi paused as he saw bite marks over your chest. “Y/N where did these marks come from” as you didn’t answer he inserted two fingers into your pussy thrusting them in. “Who did it Y/N tell me right now or I won’t give you my cock,” he said sternly as you cried out “Jungkook Jungkook did them!”

Yoongi chuckled “Where’s your phone Y/N” you pointed to your desk. Yoongi pulled out his fingers as he made his way over to your desk. “What’s the password,” he asked. “Bluemyg” he typed in the password as he started to look for Jungkook’s number in your contacts and pressed call when he found it. Jungkook immediately answered of course because it’s you.

“Did everything go well Y/N?” Jungkook asked. “Come to my class Jungkook right now,” Yoongi said as he hung up the phone turning it on silent. “Yoongi what are you doing?” you wanted to know why in the world did he call Jungkook over when you’re naked on his desk. Yoongi didn’t answer you back and slid his cock inside you “Fuck even after Jungkook fucked you he left you nice and tight for me” Yoongi chuckled.

Jungkook entered into the classroom to see Professor Min with his cock inside you. “H-huh,” Jungkook said as his eyes were blown wide. “Jungkook put your cock in her mouth,” Yoongi said not giving Jungkook an explanation. Jungkook just stood there trying to process what’s going on.

You moaned out “Jungkook just do it, it’s okay!”. With permission on your end, Jungkook unzips the front of his pants and pulls his cock out. He made his way over and placed his cock right above your mouth. “Y/N suck,” Yoongi demanded. You opened your mouth to take Jungkook in while looking up into his eyes.

“Isn’t she gorgeous Jungkook, taking two cocks at the same time with the door wide open for anyone to see,” Yoongi said as he continued to thrust into you. Jungkook nodded as he guided your head to suck his cock. You could barely think about anything when you had two cocks occupying your holes. You pulled away from Jungkook’s cock “I-I’m going to cum”. “Jungkook put your cock in her mouth again and cum when I say so okay?” Yoongi said as Jungkook agreed while thrusting his cock back into your mouth.

You started to clench harder around Yoongi’s cock as you whined while having Jungkook’s cock deep in your throat. “Cum” at that moment Jungkook and Yoongi started to pound into you and release their load. Your vision blacked out after your orgasm.

“Is she okay?” Jungkook asked as Yoongi closed the classroom door and pulled down the shades. “She’ll be fine, I think she was overwhelmed by taking the both of us,” Yoongi responded as he went over to you to start cleaning you up with wipes. “I’m not sure if Y/N will be okay with it, we’ll have to get her opinion on it, but I don’t mind having you in the relationship as well Jungkook I know you love her too,” Yoongi suggested. Jungkook’s eyes widened “R-really? Prof- Yoongi are you sure” Jungkook asked not expecting this. Yoongi nodded “I’m super sure” he smiled.

You opened your eyes to look to the right to see both Yoongi and Jungkook talking. “Did I pass out?” you asked making your presence known. Both of them looked at you and nodded. “Y/N how about adding Jungkook into our relationship?” Yoongi asked immediately. Your gaze turned to Jungkook expecting your answer “I-I don’t mind….I know you thought I didn’t love you Jungkook but after that night my feelings started to develop for you.” you smiled “I love you both” you said as you walked up to the both of them and kiss them both on the lips. 

“Since we’re still sorta naked how about we make a body painting collage using all the colors we can” Jungkook suggested.

“I’m all in for it what about you Yoongi?” you asked looking at him. He laughed “Wow this is going to be a long day, let’s do it!”

✈ Um hi! I hope you enjoyed my very first fic on tumblr. Please leave me feedback down below whether it’s good or bad. I will start working on getting a masterlist post soon! Feel free to ask me questions or make comments on ‘Ask Starrymin’.

✈ I will try my best to get the Mother’s day Barista!Namjoon x Single Mother!Reader fic done this week. My plan was to get it done today however colors took me much longer than I thought. So please wait a little more until I upload it!

✈ Anyways I hope you all have a wonderful day! Please stay safe and healthy. Also I’d like to wish Happy mother’s day to all the moms out there and even mother like figures too! 

→ Feel free to support me on Kofi

→ My BTS fic recs

[lideria]

Give Me a Few. | Johnny

Request: hi hi can you write smtg with johnny? like anything hhhh im soft for the man

Author’s Note: I miss school. Yes, that might be a crime but hear me out: this quarantine’s got me missing school and having crises over assignments and quizzes and tests, which is crazy to me. So, this shall be a college fic.

Warnings: A few swear words and a little anxiety. English is my second language so there might be errors + my brain is pushing a writer’s block on me but I won’t let it so there might be some complications with the flow loves I’m sorry.

Word Count: 1.752 IT’S SHORT.

Genre: Fluff, Angst if you like squint really hard, college!au, platonicfriends!au

Hope everyone who reads it enjoys!! 💚Have a lovely time, and good night for me lol

“The fuck?”

Johnny’s head bolts up at the frustrated question. He sees you hunched over the printed papers with your mechanical pencil in your hand and your phone in the other, scrunched eyebrows looking at the white surface scribbled all over with equations and formulas. The desk has eraser dust all over it, all from the past few hours of tussling with questions he thought must simply be too difficult. “That doesn’t make any sense, you sure that’s right?”

He can hear the faint “Dude yes, I used the calculator.” of your friend on the other end of the line, and sees your hand spring up to your temple, rubbing the spot as you let out a sigh. Shortly after, though, the mechanical pen comes back in contact with the paper. “Okay okay. Just guide me through that one more time please.”

Your friend cleans their throat so clearly Johnny can hear it, and with that he returns to his own share of notes. He is much more relaxed than you are since he has left his fair share of difficult examinations behind, and although he has a lot more memorizing to do still, it is whatever. Just two more to go.

It takes a few minutes for your friend to go over everything they had just told you, with you writing the formulas and equations down step by step, circling the ones you deemed important. You thank your friend for helping before hanging up.

Which is when the mechanical pencil is thrown out of your hand and onto the desk. “I’m gonna fail this final so bad,” You whine out. “Why make the course mandatory if half the faculty doesn’t even get it?” Leaned back on the chair, you rub your eyes with your fists. There is nothing more you want other than being done with the finals already and to never have to be acquainted with this course ever again— but you also have to pass it in order for that to become true.

“Should I just help?” Johnny suggests, his own studies long forgotten at that point. Not that he had been doing a particularly good job at focusing on them.

He sees you hunch back over the desk, looking at him with your hands tiredly placed on your cheeks. “Hasn’t it been like.. 2 semesters since you’ve taken this? Plus, you have a test tomorrow.”

Johnny clicks his tongue. “It’s history anyway— I couldn’t care less, it’s easy. Multiple choice.” Shutting his notebook close (which still amazes you how he can take notes by hand of a class like history where it is dominantly lecture material that matters), he stands up and instead takes a seat on the chair beside yours. “I’d rather struggle with formulas than read about every revolution there ever was.”

“Easy to say when you ace tests without studying for them.” You mumble, which makes Johnny smile. He could not protest that because it was true. He was a good listener during class, which helped him tons with assignments, which in turn helped him not forget the class material. The only type of courses that truly got to him were the ones where most things are dependent on discussions, arguments or debates where he needed to improvise. Not because he is bad at any of them, just because he is the type to take problems more subjectively rather than objectively.

Johnny tells you to take a breather for a few minutes while he tries to get what is going on in the question. You see this as an opportunity to take a few sips from your sugary drink that is supposed to get you through this night’s study session that is sure to become an all nighter considering you still have a couple of pages to work out. Then you check your phone, scrolling through your social media for a little, until Johnny’s hand lightly lands on your forearm. “I think I figured it out.”

“You did?” The question sounds more hopeful than it should have. “Mhm,” His eyes land on your phone momentarily before he continues speaking. “Let’s have dinner first, though.”

For you to agree he almost has to literally drag you outside of the study room the two of you had occupied, but he manages to bring you out by wrapping his arms around your shoulders and waddling his way out until the door closes and locks behind you. The two of you then make your way to the cafeteria just because you could not be bothered with making any food or asking for delivery.

While you eat, Johnny tells you he is almost sure you could not get the question because your brain was fried rather than being unable to do it. Although not knowing if it is true or not you are thankful that he says it, because it gives you a motivational boost.

Both because you are hungry and because you really need all the studying you can get, you hurry up eating— barely even tasting the food before you leave to get back to the study room.

When you are back both of you immediately go back to your seats, putting your phones on flight mode before abandoning them at the far end of the desk. Johnny takes your mechanical pencil and eraser, erasing your jotted answer before starting to re-read and rephrase the question for you. He writes down the answer step by step, making sure you truly understand everything and stopping when you need to get your head wrapped on some things.

And when he erases his writings so you can write the answer down, he gives you encouraging pats on your shoulder, letting his hand rest there as a reminder that he is there if you need to ask something.

At some point he places his chin on your shoulder as well to watch you. Not you writing your answer down, but you. “You’re being annoying right now.” You mumble, to which he chuckles slightly. “Am I?”

“You are,” Confirming the statement, you tap down at the desk. “Just look. I got the right answer this time.”

He does. The smile that spreads across his face soon after he does so makes you proud. “See, I told you it was only your overworked brain.”

With a roll of your eyes you thank him, before turning back to the many practice questions that awaited you. The questions start coming as a breeze for the first couple of hours as you gather help from your textbooks with your freshened mind. Johnny starts to play one of his many playlists with chill songs on it, reaching out for his phone to do it before also reaching out for his notebook and highlighters, returning to history out of the sheer fact that it would make him feel better if he studied while you were.

The music in the background provides a nice ambiance in the room, much more lighthearted and relaxed than how it has been for the whole study session so far. Johnny and you take turns leaving the room to walk around, partly to get some exercise and partly to delay the point where you would get sleepy.

The night seems to go by faster after you start studying for the second time. And surely after some time, you had to start leaving the study room not for short walks, but to wash your face in order to stay awake.

Letters slowly start to form a gibberish language in your mind, numbers becoming a jumble of weird lines and strokes. What really breaks all that you have left of wakefulness, though, is when Johnny starts softly humming to the songs on his never-ending playlist.

His voice is deep and strains when he is using such a low tone to hum to the songs, but it is still quite the attention catcher. You cannot help but start listening to him, and you certainly cannot help your hand that trails off of the practice questions. Within a few songs’ time, your eyes get droopy and your world gets droopy, too. But you honestly try to fight off the sleep.

Yet, sleep is much stronger than whatever is keeping you awake.

“I think I’m gonna take a nap,” The announcement comes as a surprise even to you, but you reach out for your bag and drag it until it is in front of you on the desk. “What’re you doing?”  Johnny throws a soft yet questioning look at you even though it must be obvious what you are doing. “I’m gonna use it as a pillow.”

“Just lay your head on my arm,” He says as if it is nothing, and shrugs a little when you look at him with your own pair of questioning eyes. “My cardigan’s thick and soft enough to be comfortable for both you and me.”

You smile at him, and pull your bag full of books and binders aside. Reaching out for his left arm, you hold his hand lightly— even though he is fully capable of lifting his forearm to place it in front of you— and drag his arm to the space previously occupied by your bag. He returns to his notes, unbothered, and gets back to humming along to the songs.

When you place your head on his forearm you smile at the scent of his cardigan, the scent of the coffee he had had before you started studying still embedded into the fabric.

You shut your eyes that do not have the motivation to fight off the sweet invitation of sleep. And if anybody ever asked you, you would say you fell asleep before Johnny finished the line he was humming to.

And if anybody ever asked you, it was the one of the best (and deepest) sleeps you had; your face engulfed in him and his cardigan’s warmth, your arms closed around his forearm, hunched over the desk in a position that is surely going to ache your back— until there is a scratch at the top of your head and through your hair. “Hm?”

“An hour’s passed.” He whispers, his hand still in your hair. You draw his arm closer to you, nuzzling your face into the fabric. You were not the one with a test tomorrow, and you were surely not the one with a test tomorrow that you could ace with your eyes closed. “Gimme 15 minutes.”

You hear him laugh. “Okay, big baby.”

[ts-2020-olympics]

EPISODE 1 - “My Legs Were Not Qwoperating” - Kathy (Part 2)

no. jk here.

So, it’s morning. I look around at our camp, and see everyone is at work. Karen is painting their flag and using safety scissors to cut out Monty’s head, Kevin is chanting to himself in the corner, Stoner’s been asleep so we buried him in the sand up to his neck and then sculpted a sand castle around him. Tommy is just trying to make eye contact with anyone he can and so I’m...avoiding that. I’d say we are solid but that’s probably not the truth, and so that kind of stinks. I’m hoping the newbies really fuck up, and I know that’s harsh but...that’s showbiz, babe!! Speaking of newbies I still haven’t talked to a few of them.  Emma like zoomed away the first day and I’ve given up on talking to her. Hope she goes first. That’s all I got for now, going to eat breakfast I will continue this rant later.

my truth is that i haven’t played an org game in so long i forgot i was playing and then remembered an hour ago and tried to do this wack qwop game hsksksj! my legs were not qwoperating 

I see there's an arena going on! I might go there first if the rest of the team is okay with it - gives me a chance to scope things out and get a feel for the area. I'm excited!

WE WON THE FUCKING CHALLEEEENGE AAAAA NOT ONLY DID WE WIN BUT WE KILLT IT WE SCORED 12 AND EVERYONE ELSE GOT LIKE 8 AND 5 OHMYGOOOD IM NOT GONNA BE FIRST OUT YALL IM SHAKING I CANT BELIEVE GSJDKDVDSNDBWSKHSD okAy okay so thank god bc my tribe has like no drama so our vote would’ve been really difficult and that gives me more time to think about my possible advantage and the possible bonds here. 

so while I am safe I still have to game a little bit and talk to the people I’ve been talking with who are going to tribal like Sammy and Jordan, funny enough who are on the same tribe.... maybe I can get them to protect each other..... hm

Well we lost because of technicalities, I choose to blame that. This tribe is apparently extremely quiet to each other, so the fact that I messaged everyone hello this morning, nearly 48 hours after the start, I am SOMEHOW one of the best social players here. Challenges are generally my strength, we got last in QWOP, so backup is social game in a social ORG. I can be in some danger here, but I think I have a TRusuT sclusTER to keep myself here. As is necessary. I don't care who goes, I have a preference, but I don't really want to set a goal right now. Flexibility is key.

I'm literally PISSED. I'm fuming right now, like wtf? OK so I haven't confessed anything yet because my tribe has been SO quiet. I've honestly talked a lot more to some of the people from ONE WORLD than I have from some of the people from my own tribe... and I'm not crazy okay? It's NOT my fault. I put in effort with these people... But some of these people are just DRY! Drier than the Sahara Desert! Drier than my chappy ass lips! They can't hold a conversation, and that's obnoxious. I'm not going to respond to you if your message has literally nothing in it worth responding to, that's why most of my messages will either have a follow-up question, or something actually of substance to comment on/reply to... YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME SO WE CAN ACTUALLY SPEAK AND MAINTAIN A CONSISTENT DIALOGUE!!!!!!! But NOOOOOOO, my tribe decides to not speak... MOVING ON! The only people I've had good conversations with really are Juls and Em, and lo and behold, Em does lit rally nothing in this challenge, which sucks because I'm afraid that may put a target on her back. But I'm not sure, I definitely will vote with her and I think Juls will too. I'll move onto that later but I wanna talk about why I'm fucking LIVID RIGHT NOW. I literally made SO many suggestions on how we could tweak who does what in this challenge, or what we do on certain parts. Now I'm going to admit a TINY bit of fault here, in that I didn't say my suggestions on the tribe flag. There are some things I think we could've done to make it better, but I love Juls, and everyone had already told her it was great, so I didn't wanna make her feel that I didn't like it or was over criticizing. So I didn't say anything. That was my bad. BUT EVERYTHING ELSE, LUV? I said We should guess lower than 610... Now granted my even 600 guess still would've been too low to win, BUT AT LEAST IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN OVERBOARD! HMPPHH!!!!! Or maybe we could've compromised on 605 if people hadnt IGNORED ME!!!! IDK!??!?!?! Further than that, I asked for different tweaking on the chant and nobody gave any suggestions. I'm not saying we would've won or anything had I taken the lead or that I was doing everything the right way,  obviously I wasn't since my chant got 3rd, but what I'm saying is once it became obvious the challenge was going to be about group participation and suggestion, our tribe needed to unify. Everyone in the tribe needed to have a clearer vision and talk to eachother and actually put in the EFFORT that this stuff requires. Which I'm admitting my own error, in not doing that with the flag. But our tribe was just so quiet and silent before now, which sent me down a paranoid spiral, that I was super fucking worried about my place in the tribe or where things were heading. Now I realize I'm in a good position on the tribe for sure, it's just that our tribe is STRUGGLING. ON THE (Mr.) BRIGHTSIDE!!! We lost by a tiebreaker guess, and only by 4 points.... and I'm pretty close with Juls, and it seems like a target will probably fall pretty easily onto Billy. He had the worst QWOP score, described himself as arrogant in his own intro, and just seems.. critical of others. He gives off a strange vibe. If it's not him, I'm pretty sure it'd end up being Jacob or Em. I feel that me and Juls are safe which is all that I can hope for on a tribe this freaking tiny, I instantly connected with Juls over our love of anime, the fact her name is the same as Euphoria Jules, and other stuff. As far as One World goes, I honestly keep forgetting it exists. I haven't reached out to too many of the others but have talked back to those who talk to me and it's been generally decent. I get along well with other Jacob, the not pie one. Caeleb I already know from before this and so I feel like we'd def work together, and I get good vibes from a lot of these people like Eve, Nicole, Ben, etc. Honestly I'm just so frustrated right now because things have been quiet and nervous and I'm PARANOID, and my tribe was so close to winning but fucked it up over minor things we could've tweaked had we just tried a little harder and communicated a little more. ugh, this SUCKS. now my first legacy in Tumblr Survivor is a mediocre chant (i honestly really like it and i put a LOT OF THOUGHT INTO IT OKAY....) and a trip to tribal council *Sobs* Here's hoping things take a positive turn from here...? It could always be the Bronze before my Gold! ~Hamfisted olympics metaphor~

Love my tribe a lot! However, i still feel on the outside somewhat tho.... Idk this is a lot for me I just hope we win until a swap or whatever its called ahh

Alright, Darcy back here with yet another confessional!   Here is a little update since I last posted confessional, mainly the biggest difference is now I have an ally formed with Ben.   At least, I made a deal with Ben yesterday proposing just the generic looking after one another ordeal, then going to give it some time and maybe question Beck about forming an alliance, since I've been connecting with her even more past bit, but don't want to go too fast and end up asking half my tribe right away to work with me, as I don't want to be seen as playing hard out the gate and make myself a target.   Meanwhile, I decided to give the Olympic Village searching a shot, but alas was no luck in the cafeteria cabinets, so will just have to try my luck again in the future rounds.   Thinking of searching either the South or North end of Village next round, but we shall see.   Anyways, I'm glad my tribe won Immunity, so don't have to go to tribal this round, and this Olympic Arena twist sounds great, essentially one person from each tribe goes to the Arena, I believe for the immune tribes just 1 person is selected to go to the Arena, and for the losing tribes, the two voted out go to arena, where the winner of the voted out people come back in the game, and loser is out of the game for good.   Think I read that all right, but maybe won't hurt to give it another read to double check.   For now though, I shall go, so will see you all with my next confessional.

Fuck having to go to tribal first. I don’t like having to send someone home when I don’t even really know who I’m playing with yet. 

Seems like Billy pulling the "I don't want to make any moves" to me was surprisingly bullshit. Who would've thunk. I think everyone is fine with voting out Billy here, I didn't really want to initially, but yeah, uh no. I could be in danger, but if everyone is honest here, I should be fine. Fingers crossed. "I'm either going to be first boot or win" - Pia Miranda

So, the first tribal is in a bit and we were almost sent there but managed to pull through in the tiebreaker! I hope that opens some of my tribemates eyes (lets be real, just Stoner who hasn’t been doing much of anything!) Being in One World but none of the newbies talking to me is still wild to me, half of them still haven’t even accepted my contact request. Yet they’re plenty active in the chat, so what gives? Anyway, I hope it’s just that they are intimidated by the very fact that I am beauty, and grace, and Miss United States. I hope we can win the next round, hopefully first or second place so we don’t have a close call again. We are trying to get Chris to go to the Arena so he can get us that 20% but he hasn’t answered so...what gives? On the alliance front I’m good with Kevin and Karen tribewise , the bigger picture is Kevin, Jacob and Sammy want to align and then we will have a bigger alliance that includes Beck, Juls and Eve. Eventually I might wanna break off and align with Jules and Eve, but having bigger targets around is essential. Anyway that’s all I got for now. I should start making video confessionals AS THINGS ARE HAPPENING. Ya know? Anyway toodles for now see ya next round. OH, and I’m hoping Jules and Jacob are safe this tribal :( love them and hope we can work together going forward. 

Hiiii, arena results are about to come in so I'm just gonna drop a quickie confessional before that happens. I don't honestly remember how much I talked about the strategy and gameplay that was going on, so I'll give you a quick rebriefing of that. I'm really close with Juls. Em I like, but I want more out of her. Jacob is quiet, but inoffensive. Billy, I actually like him, but there are certain things about him that just.. Rub me (and others) a strange way and that's why we voted him out because certain things he did just didn't quite gel with the rest of the team. If he does return from the arena though, it's possibly I may vouch for him over Jacob because Jacob... HE JUST NEEDS TO TALK!!! But idk. One world still SUCKS and is dragging me through the MUD because nobody wants to do cross-tribe talking me included but that gets me paranoid as FUCK, luv. About the live tribal, it was fun! My camera angle was awkward and I was soo nervous though, but I think I was still able to hold it together relatively well, act normal, and give semi-decent answers. Will definitely be improving my live tribal performance for next time so I can be a bad ass bitch on call, it's GOING to happen... dskfdsf. I love Emma on call/video sooooo much, But on text she's kind of dry. Maybe I need to ask her if I can call her sometime, but I haven't done a call for a game like this in a looong time. I'm a bit nervous about that. But yeah. I'm looking forward to the game... The first tribal just makes everything real, and you realize, oh shit, we're playing Survivor. And I forgot how thrilling it was to play in a live, video environment like that, it just grips you and it feels so much more intense than when wiki results are just posted in chat and you don't have to deal with physically seeing the person you're voting out, talking to them with your actual voice, etc. All that stuff just makes the experience that much more realistic and it's so intense and fun. I'm ready to get this game on (Btw fuck the arena twist)

hey guys im really loving this game so far... keep up the good work!

i didn’t appreciate the attitude billy gave me whenever i tried to help the team out but! i’m willing to get over it because he is a nice guy. i feel fairly comfortable with my team and i’m just hoping we can avoid another tribal! 

Hello! I can not believe I'm back for a 6th time on Tumblr Survivor this is so crazy! Especially for an Olympic season because I vowed to myself that I would never do a season again that was more than 20 people after being in Japan. Now that I'm back I'm ready to play, I haven't really came into this season with a strategy but if I did it would have changed because this is a One World season and now with the arena twist I'm sweating. One World makes the season super social (probably one of my least favorite twists) it's very easy for this season to let pre-mades and majorities take over just like that and let underdogs like me in this season to get taken out especially taken out early. So I have been social not only with me but a few people on different tribes but not too much. I don't want to seem like I'm playing too hard but I wanna build relationships before swaps happen so that people choose to ally with me (A WINNER) over a newbie or a returnee who hasn't won because I already have a big target on my back. With how the tribe divisions are it gives the newbies the biggest advantage with 15 newbies compared to 5 winners and 5 non-winner returnees, which isn't bad in a Fan vs. Favorite season because the ratio is even with returnees and newbies. However, now that I'm in the minority and also labeled a WINNER, I have to do damage control to lower my target but most importantly integrate with other people which is hard because I'm not the best social player and I know that's my weakness but I still have to attempt. In terms of my own tribe I'm closest to Kevin, when I talk to him we have a good conversation I probably already irritate him but I think out of everyone I can put my trust in him the most compared to everyone else. I think having one good ally is how I want to approach this season due to the arena twist I don't want to come across as running the tribe especially the winners tribe incase we do go to tribal because if I vote in the majority and that person stays they are immune and will be mad and spill the beans about the tribe, and I want that person to be the least mad at me so the focus is not on me. So having overall good vibes and 1 strong connection is a good strategy for the long term game. It might put me at risk for being voted out in the short term but I want to play the long-term game. Preferably if it is up to me I'd want Nicole to be the next closest to Kevin and myself without myself having to make an official deal with Nicole so I'm not seen as the ringleader. Kevin says he wants Stoner to be the first one voted out on our tribe but honestly I rather it be Karen. Stoner has the reputation keeps his target bigger than the rest and I think Karen has the better chance of flipping on the winners and succeeding than Stoner does. So my target is Karen if we do lose. I also believe that there may be an alliance with Nicole, Kevin, and Karen which I hope is not an actual alliance because that's bad news for me. I hope we don't go to tribal because I don't wanna go to a tribal with only 5 people. Wish me luck!

Whew it has been one round and i've fucked up so much its not even funny. its a little funny. anyways i start this game on a tribe of 5, i allign with connor who ive never played a game with and find some similar common ground, and with jacob who seems chill. we lose the first challenge sucks and all hell breaks loose, long story short fuck sammy. I'm trying to work my way back in caeleb and jacobs good graces. its gonna be a rocky road, but its one i've driven before

[rvnjun]

wedding dress | kim jungwoo

Warnings: Fighting Genre: Fluff with a some Angst Word Count:10.1k A/n: This is the longest thing i've ever written. Im not even sure if its good or even makes sense. I just feel like the reader and Jungwoo didn't bond much but my friend said she really liked the story anyway so il go ahead and post it.  I might delete this later. Oh and sorry Doyoung XD Definitely spelling and grammar errors, if you spot any please let me know 

Your grip tightened on the pillow, you squeezed it like your entire life depended on it. The air seemed to be thick with tension. The longer you two went without saying another the more you felt heavy. You looked around your apartment, the place that normally felt so warm and welcoming felt foreign. It didn’t feel like your home anymore, it felt like a trap. 

“Y/n” Doyoungs stern voice snapped you out of your trance. Never once had you heard him sound so hurtful.

 “Did you even listen to a thing I said? God stop being such an idiot,” Doyoung snapped at you. He sighed, tapping his feet rapidly against the ground. Your heart clenched in pain, his words echoed in your head making you feel sick. 

“I was listening. Doyoung,, I,, I thought you loved me?” You squeaked out, afraid to look him in eyes. 

Doyoung shook his head “I did, at least I thought I did. For a while, I pretended to still be happy but I can’t keep doing this anymore. As I said, I’ll pack up my stuff and move in with a friend,” Doyoung causally talked about the breakup like it really didn’t matter to him. More than anything you started to feel your anger bubble up. 

“Did this relationship mean nothing to you? I just,, I can’t believe you! After 3 years together your breaking up with me like this relationship meant absolutely nothing to you,, and,, and the wedding? I already have my dress and it’s already planned. What am I supposed to tell everyone!” Your voice raised with every word. 

Doyoung scoffed at you “Simple, we will cancel it. You can return the dress. It’s not that big of a deal,” he didn’t answer your question instead he made your relationship out to be nothing. It started to be overbearingly painful to continue to hold back your tears. You finally let loose, the hot tears cascaded down your cheeks.Your cheek bone felt like they were throbbing. 

“Is there someone else?” You finally asked what had been on your mind all night. Doyoung seemed taken back by your words. He stared at you in surprise. His silence was physically suffocating. You started to choke on your tears, coughing a few times you waited for his reply. 

Hesitantly he nodded his head “You’re smarter than I thought you were,” he pointed out. 

“Oh god,, why? Who is it Doyoung!! Who is it!” You demanded, still in tears. You took a step forward and clung to the kitchen counter with all your might. Your knees felt like they were gonna give out. 

“I fell in love with her the minute I laid eyes on her. I’ve seriously never seen someone so beautiful. It was really refreshing. I thought back to you and I never felt the spark. It was supposed to be a one-time thing, I mean, I had just proposed. One turned into two and then eventually it became an every Thursday thing. With Jieun I feel alive,” Doyoung passionately described his secret love affair with Jieun. 

“Jieun?” You asked in reassurance. Jieun was the new intern at your work, she was a sweet and cute looking young girl. 

“Are you kidding me? She is practically a kid, Doyoung,” your entire body started to shake. Finally, your knees gave out, Doyoung took a few steps forward and caught you In his arms beige you could hit the ground. It felt nice to be in his warm embrace for the last time.

 You quickly came to your senses, pushing him away as hard as you could you yelled “Go away!! Just fucking leave, I don’t want to see your face again,” you started pushing on his chest. Doyoung grabbed your hand and looked into your red and puffy eyes 

“Calm down. I need you to tell me that you won’t tell anyone I cheated?” Doyoung wanted to make one thing clear. You bit your lip to hold back even more tears, Doyoung only cared about his image. 

“Fine but under one condition. We tell everyone that I called off the engagement, it will make me feel better.” You did your best to sound stern. If Doyoung was going to break up with you for another girl 2 months before you were going to get married you didn’t want anyone to know the truth. 

Doyoung smiled and lightly laughed “Yeah that’s perfectly fine! I’m so glad that you have a simple mind. Well if that’s it then I’m gonna grab some of my things and leave. I’ll pack up my stuff while you are at work this way we don’t have to see each other.” He patted your shoulder and left for your previously shared bedroom. 

You stared at the cold tile floor, all your happy memories with Doyoung flashed in your head. From the time when you first saw him to the time when he first asked you out. You could remember the joy of Doyoung returning your feelings. You lightly giggled when you remembered the feeling of your heart bursting in joy when you saw him on one knee. Doyoung walked out of the room, sending a message on his phone. 

He looked up at you and met your gaze “Thank you for being so understanding,” he awkwardly waved before slipping on his shoes and leaving. Like he hadn’t just ripped your heart out and stepped on it. 

“Hey Kim Dongyoung,,you’re a heartless monster,” your voice was wobbly as you were on the verge of tears once more. “I guess they do say that the hottest love has the coldest end,” your vision blurred with hot tears. “Why did you have to leave me? Couldn’t you see how much I loved you!” You screamed, grasping at your hair. Angrily you started jumping up and down, loud sobs echoing through the empty and barren feeling apartment. 

The place that was once full of love and warm was now dead and cold. “Do you know much money I spent on the wedding? Oh my god, the wedding. What am I gonna do?” You started to panic and rambled to yourself about all of the problems that you were suddenly realizing. “Fuck!” You screamed, grabbing the pillow that your fist clenched and chucked it at the wall. 

A wave of exhaustion washed over you. Your body acted before your mind did. You pushed open the bedroom door and stared at the empty king sized bed. The room still had a lingering scent of him. Glancing towards the closet you admired his clothes that were still here. Sniffling a little you pulled one of his hoodies off of the hanger. Slipping your shirt off over your head you put on his hoodie. Hugging it close to your body it felt like he was hugging you one last time. Yawning you felt another wave of exhaustion wash over you. Crawling in the bed you rested on what was normally his side. “Why did you have to leave me, Doyoung? Why?” Your body started to shake with tears. No one around to comfort you, even when you told everyone the wedding had been called off you still wouldn’t have anyone to comfort you. No one would know the truth except for Doyoung, Jieun and you. The last thing you saw before you drifted off into sleep was Doyoungs adorable bunny smile.

Rolling over to your other side you continued to lay in bed. If someone had walked in on you right now they would think they discovered a dead body. Which honestly was true, at this point you felt dead and emotionless. How could Doyoung so casually break up with you when just a year ago he was proposing? You held your mouth shut and started to scream, your body took over and you flailed around the bed like a fish out of water. 

“Asshole,” you yelled, grabbing a pillow off the end you chucked it at his side of the closet. Your knotted hair momentarily blocked your vision, reminding you that you were long overdue for a shower. For about 7 days you had done nothing but cry in bed and eat. Blindly reaching for your phone you attempted to find it. When you finally felt the hard case, you pressed the home screen and checked the time. The bright screen caused you a great deal of pain. You managed to make out that you had over 23 missed calls, all from Johnny and Yuta. A text message caught your eye “Y/n!!! We! Need! To! Talk!” from Johnny. You read, realizing that Doyoung had probably told them already. 

You tossed your phone to the side and thought back to the wretched night. How calm you had seemingly been when he left. Part of you was so upset and distraught at Doyoung for breaking up with you when you were to be married but another part of you didn't care. It felt nice to not be with him because deep down inside you knew that your feelings for Doyoung had faded the past few months, you loved him but not as much as you could have. Sighing you sent Johnny a quick text “Yeah, we do.”

“It was a mutual decision but I was the one who initiated it. We just realized that we weren’t meant for each other,” you explained to Johnny and Yuta with a fake smile. It was hard to act so bravely, you didn’t want to leave the house today but Johnny called you saying he heard from Doyoung that you guys broke up about a week ago. You had spent that whole week laying in your tear stained bed feeling sorry for yourself. 

“Are you serious? So what are you gonna do with the wedding stuff?” Yuta asked curiously. 

He scanned you up and down, trying to search you for any hint of a lie. You gave them both a smile “I decide that I’m gonna donate it all!” You took a sip of your vanilla tea and watched their reactions closely. 

“All of it? But you spent so much on it,” Johnny pointed out with his mouth agape. 

“Yeah, but I was lucky enough to be able to afford all of it. Someone girl out there is about to get married but doesn’t have the money for all the super expensive stuff. I want to give back,” you looked around you. The cafe was filled with a lot of people today. A young couple caught your eye, they looked so happy and in love.

 “Don’t believe it all. He might be cheating on you,” you yelled at them in your head. “You’re such a nice person. I’m going to be honest, I’m really shocked that you called off the wedding. Doyoung really loved you. I’m sad.” Yuta lightly laughed, not realizing the drastic pain his words shot to your heart. 

Johnny nodded his head “Did he beg for a second chance?” Johnny made the entire situation worse. 

“No. It was a mutual feeling.” Your words held no emotion behind them, you felt dead while telling them the lie you had spun for the sake of yours and Doyoungs pride. Johnny and Yuta exchanged a look before nodding. 

“Doyoung was really upset, wasn’t he? And he wanted you to tell everyone it was mutual, didn’t he?” Yuta and Johnny thought they had cracked the code. Except the only thing they cracked was your feelings. 

“As much as I wish I could stay and gossip longer I have some errands to run. So if you don’t mind I’ll be taking my leave,” you quickly grabbed your things and left. You didn’t even spare them a second glance, just like Doyoung did to you. A vibration from your phone caused you to open it “Are you kidding me Y/n? Doyoung was such a good guy, how dare you call off the engagement!” Your sister texted. You started to cry as you stared at the bright screen. 

The words echoing in your head “Doyoung wasn’t as good of a guy as you all thought!” You screamed at the top of your lungs. A few passersby stared at you with wide eyes before they started to whisper amongst themselves. “Whatever,” you sent back not even caring what she thought of you at this point. “Why am I the bad guy? This isn’t what I intended,” you mumbled to yourself. “Doyoung is the real bad guy,” you added before finally arriving at the bus stop. You glanced up at the sky which was now greying. “I’ll just run some errands tomorrow. I want to sleep,” you sat down on the bench at waited for it to arrive.

 Your eyes blurred once more with burning tears. You were about to wipe with your hand them when someone held a handkerchief in front of you. Glancing up at the wonder of the hand you locked eyes with a gentle brown color. He shook his hand and glanced at the handkerchief. Most of his face was covered with a scarf but you could still make out his soft features. You slightly smiled before grabbing the handkerchief. More tears started to fall at the kindness of this stranger “thank you and I’m so sorry to bother you,” your voice broke. The stranger's eyes widened “You aren't bothering me, if you were I wouldn’t have done anything,” he pointed out. He lowered his scarf so you could hear him. You folded the handkerchief and stretched out to hand it back to him. You locked eyes with him once more and you felt your heart rate pick up speed. He gave you an adorable gummy smile and took it back.

 “I hope whatever has made you upset will pass,” he smiled, placing the handkerchief back in his pocket. “Thank you. Your kindness is appreciated,” you said before a dark blue bus pulled up. You stood up and sent the kind stranger a look. He shook his head and waved goodbye “Bye-“ you waited for him to say his name. “Jungwoo,” He introduced. “Bye Jungwoo and thank you, I’m Y/n” you slowly started to enter the bus. “Bye Y/n I hope your day gets better,” he managed to say before the bus driver shut the door. The driver sent you a scary glare. You hurriedly sat down in a seat and watched Jungwoo as the bus pulled away.

You stared down at the ripped piece of paper in your hand. The address was the same as the building in front of you. Pushing open the door you looked around. After a few seconds, you found the counter. 

“Excuse me?” You asked approaching the coworkers. They both turned around to face you at the same time. You gasped a little when you locked eyes with Jungwoo. “Oh,” he said while staring at you. “How can we help you, miss?” The other one asked without noticing anything. 

You looked at his name tag before speaking up “Hello Lucas. I want to donate this dress but I wanted to make sure that it gets sold for a low price,” you shook your head and pushed aside all your embarrassment from Jungwoo watching you return your wedding dress. 

“Oh god. Are you sure? This dress looks really expensive and new?” Lucas boldly said while taking the dress from you. 

He looked it up and down and sent you another look “Yeah. Can you guys please sell it for a low price?” You asked again wanting to make sure the dress could be sold at a cheap price. 

“Uh yeah. We sure can. May you please out this form,” Lucas handed you a light blue form and a pen. 

The whole time Jungwoo never said anything which kinda scared you. You didn’t know why you cared so much what Jungwoo thought of you but you did. Jungwoo stared at you with sad looking eyes. “All it asks is why you are returning and a few other things,” Lucas continued to perfectly do his job. Jungwoo just stood there in silence. 

You quickly filled out the form and sighed it. “Well if that’s it then I’ll be taking my leave,” you quickly handed Lucas the form and rushed out of the store. You felt like crying under Jungwoos intense stare. 

“Wow. I wonder why she is returning a brand new wedding dress?” Lucas said while admiring the dress. Jungwoo looked at it and sighed “I think I know why,” Jungwoo spoke, connecting the pieces together. 

Lucas made a weird sound and turned to look at his quiet coworker “Well spill the beans dude. You can’t just say that and not tell me, man!” Lucas yelled and hit Jungwoos chest in a playful manner. 

“Why else would someone be returning a brand new dress! Her wedding was probably called off for whatever reason,” Jungwoo stared at the door almost waiting for you to appear again. 

“Oh shit, you right. I wonder why?” Lucas questioned, also looking towards the door. 

“I don’t have the answer to that,” Jungwoo simply said before going back to what he was doing before you came. He did his best to focus but your image was clouding his mind. He couldn’t help but wonder, why did your wedding get called off?

It’s not like you actually wanted to go back, you just had a few more things to donate. You silently prayed that Jungwoo would be there again, or Lucas. It would be rather embarrassing see them 2 days in a row, both times you donating your old wedding stuff. You looked down at the big tote bag to make sure that you had everything you wanted. It was a bunch of simple decorations, like the table toppers and a few rief like objects. Pushing open the door you immediately looked at the counter. 

“Welcome back!” Lucas greeted, you felt your cheeks burn red at the way he greeted you. Jungwoo turned around and faced you, he gave you that adorable gummy smile that had been in your head for the past few days and waved. “Hi,” you quietly said, approaching the counter once more. 

Jungwoo had already grabbed the form and a pen for you. You reached out to grab them, your fingers over so slightly brushing against each other. Like they describe in the books and movies, you felt a spark of a foreign emotion shoot through your whole body. Both you and Jungwoo momentarily stopped what you were doing. 

It wasn't until Lucas spoke up “So what you got this time?” that you finally came to your senses. Pulling away from Jungwoo you sent Lucas a small smile. “Decorations, this should hopefully be the last time you see me,” you told them the truth. Jungwoos mouth fell open. He wanted to say something, ask for your number at least, but he knew that you recently called off a wedding and he wanted to be a gentleman. “Why did your wedding get called off?” Lucas asked without missing a beat. Jungwoos eyes widened and he turned to face Lucas with an absolutely dumbstruck look on his face. Lucas felt Jungwoos intense gaze on him and he turned to face the older boy “What?” Lucas asked, confused. 

You started to laugh at the interactions between the two. Despite the fact that they were coworkers they seemed to be really good friends. You scoffed and thought back to the old intern, Jieun. She seemed like such a sweet and innocent young girl. All of the things you did for her when she told you that she and her boyfriend broke up you let her stay at your house for 2 weeks. Were her and Doyoung lying and secretly using the opportunity to hook up? In your own home? You felt your stomach churn at the thoughts, you don't want to say it but you knew it was probably true. 

Lucas looked back at you with his doe eyes, he was clearly waiting for your response. You stopped writing and looked back up at him “We just weren't meant to be,” you simply said. You tried to keep your answer as vague as possible. It was at the point that if you told another person that “you” called off the wedding you would probably break down in tears. It was tiring to tell everyone your lie and have them immediately take Doyoungs side and yell at you for being a bitch. 

Jungwoo bit his lip, he thought for a moment and decided to speak “As long as you're happy. It isn't good to hold things back,” Jungwoo didn't realize how much his words actually applied to you. You awkwardly laughed “Yeah,, I'm getting there,” you honestly told them. Sliding the form and pen back across the counter you handed Lucas the bag and turned to leave. Jungwoo reached his hand out, like you were going to see it, and watched you leave. You stopped at the door for a split second, it was oddly weighing you down to have to leave Jungwoo once more. You shook your head and raised a hand to wave goodbye. Quickly you pushed open the door and were greeted by the sharp cold wind. You sighed and made your way to the bus stop. Jungwoos bright smile ingrained in your head.  

Dragging your feet you prepared yourself for your boss to probably fire you. You stopped in front of the small cafe and wanted to throw yourself off of a bridge. Jieun better be glad that she didn't intern here anymore, otherwise you probably would have poured coffee over her head. Straightening your shoulders you put on a smile and pushed open the glass door. The above rang and your coworkers looked at you like they had seen a  ghost.

 “You're back!” one of them beamed while running over to hug you. “I heard what happened, I'm so sorry,” they added, giving you a tighter hug. You lightly chuckled and hugged back. “Sorry that I kinda abandoned you guys, I needed a little time to recover,” you said. 

“That's reasonable, you just called off your wedding that you had been raving about for weeks,” your bosses stern voice echoed through the cafe. You felt your blood run cold but her words didn't seem to have any malicious intent to them,,, they seemed genuinely caring. 

“I know its a little odd but there was a lot going on behind the scene,” you tried to explain without telling them the truth. Your boss and coworkers simply nodded. “Well L/n you'll have a lot to make up for while you were gone. I expect you to be working extra hard, got it?” she turned her back and prepared herself to go back to the office. You nodded your head so fast you got light headed “Understood,” you jokingly saluted making your coworker laugh. You boss slightly smiled before wiping it off and returning to the office. You rushed to the break room and put on your apron and name tag. 

Returning back you got to work like you hadn't been gone for 2 weeks. The workday went by as it normally would, you were already feeling tired but you kept the smile on your face and focused on making the correct orders. The bell rang and you turned to greet the customer. “Hi welcome-” you stopped speaking and stared like a deer in the headlights. Lucas beamed once he saw you and Jungwoo scratched the back of his neck. 

“Wow Y/n this must be fate!” Lucas boosted, not realizing that you and Jungwoo had met before you two did. Jungwoo laughed at his younger friend words. He cocked his head to the side when he thought about Lucas's words, it was a little odd that you happen to meet on the street, at his work, and now at your work. “I guess so,” you joke while preparing yourself for their orders.

Your coworkers looked between you three “Hey Y/n you gonna tell me who these hotties are orrrr?” you coworker nudged and whispered in your ear. You felt a pang in your heart at her words “Uh, this is Jungwoo and Lucas, I just recently met them,” you half-assedly said. “Nice to meet you two I'm-” you but your coworker off from introducing herself and asked, “How may I take your orders?” Your co-worker didn't see anything wrong with you cutting her off and she started to laugh, thinking that you were doing it as a joke. 

Lucas gave you his big smile and glanced at the menu “Yeah, can I get a double chocolate chip frappe?” he asked. You nodded your head and punched that in, glancing at Jungwoo you blushed when you saw he was already looking at you. You both awkwardly looked away. Coughing Jungwoo started to speak “Yeah uh,, may I get ultra caramel frappe?” he gave you a nervous smile. You nodded your head and punched it in the machine “Will that be all?” you asked. They both nodded, Jungwoo swiped his card, paying for both the orders. They left to sit at a table and wait. 

You decided in that moment that you were going to make the best frappes they had ever had. You worked diligently to make sure that the drinks would taste amazing, you even added a little extra chocolate chip to Lucas’ and caramel to Jungwoos. Calling their name you smiled as they walked up to collect their drinks. “So you work here?’ Jungwoo asked while mentally cursing himself for asking such a stupid question. Lucas whipped is head to look at Jungwoo with a dumbfounded look. You giggled at Jungwoos nervous face and nodded “Every Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!” you told him your work days in hopes that maybe he’d visit. “Really? I'll make sure to come when you're working,” Jungwoo smiled gently at you. His cheeks turned a light pink in happiness. 

Lucas looked between you two before looking like he was realizing something. “Alright Y/n, as much as Jungwoo would love to stay and talk we have to get back to work. Oh and thanks for the dinks, man, they taste amazing,” Lucas laughed at his own words and started to leave the shop. Jungwoo shot Lucas a betrayed look before waving goodbye to you. “Bye Y/n, have a wonderful work day,” Jungwoo said his goodbyes and followed Lucas out of the door. You watched him leave with a content smile. Your co-worker gave you a confused look “Oh my god Y/n don't tell me you called off the wedding because you fell for someone else?” she asked with her mouth agape. You whipped your head to her and gave her a dark stare “I didn't call off the wedding because I liked someone else, I'm not that low,” you didn't mean for your voice to come out as dark, it just did. She seemed to take the hint and went back to work while whistling. You felt bad for snapping but you weren't having any of it.

Punching the order into the cash register you told your co-worker what they wanted so they could get started on that. This day felt like it would never end. It didn't help that it started to horribly, some customer accuse you of spitting in their drink and they demanded to watch the security footage. Then there was the lady who brought her toddler in and blamed you guys when he tripped and fell. Everything seemed to be going wrong and you wanted it to end. Another customer walked in, you grumbled and prepared yourself to deal with another maniac. 

“Hi Y/n,” a soft voice said. You didn't have to look up to know who it was “Jungwoo,” you contently said while looking up to see his charming smile. “Would you like the same as the other day?” you asked. Talking with Jungwoo just seemed so natural and easy. 

He nodded his head “Oh, you remember?” Jungwoo felt a little bashful that you remembered his order. 

“Of course,” you punched it in and asked your coworker to make it. 

Jungwoo noticed your disheveled appearance, he could tell you were tired so he asked: “Has it been a long day?” 

Your shoulders slumped and you nodded your head “Yeah, I don't get why customers blame us for nothing,” Jungwoo nodded in understanding. An idea came into his head, he was just a little nervous to say it. 

Thinking to himself he pushed aside his nerves “What time do you get off?” His word caught you by surprise. 

You fiddled with your fingers “6pm,” you bit your lip and waited to see what he would say next. 

Jungwoo looked away while speaking “Would you mind if I took you out for dinner,,, you really look like you could use it,” he added at the end trying to not make it seem like a date. Even if that's what he wanted it to be. Your tummy feels all warm inside, it had been such a long time since you been out anywhere with a guy. Even towards your last few months with Doyoung you guys didn't really go anywhere or do anything special. Honestly Looking back on it all you should have seen it coming. He became so distant during your last few months and he barely kissed or hugged you.

 Deciding in your head you smiled at Jungwoo “That sounds really amazing, I'd love too.” Your words caught Jungwoo by surprise He was really preparing himself to be rejected. ‘Really?” he stuttered. 

You giggled at his cute flustered reaction “Yes really.” Your coworker handed you his drink and went back to what she was doing. Quietly eavesdropping on your conversation. 

“A,,,alright! I'll stop by when you get off and I'll take you somewhere nice, you won't regret it,” Jungwoo put his hand into a fist and gave you a determined giggle.

 “I'm sure I won't, see you later,” you waved goodbye to him. You couldn't help but feel like a teenage girl again. When you first met Doyoung you were so young and naive, you really thought he was the one for just because he was nice. However, now that you aren't together anymore and you've seen a completely different sid not him you realize that he really wasn't the one for you. You were so caught up in wanting to get married that you didn't really care who you got married too. Your coworker scoffed at the interaction. 

“You literally just broke Doyoungs heart and you're already hooking up with someone else. Y/n don't think I don't know the truth about you, Jieun told me that you kicked Doyoung out without any explanation. He showed up at her doorstep in tears, Jieun is such a nice girl, she and Doyoung are way better together than you,” she thought to herself while watching you closely. 

You quickly spun around and gave her an enthusiastic smile “Did you see that I still have it in me,” you joked while bursting into a fit of giggles. 

She pretended to laugh along with you, “I'm surprised! I really thought you were upset with your breakup, you're recovering very quickly;” her words were laced with venom. Y

ou furrowed your eyebrows “I still am really upset about the whole breakup,, but-” you couldn't exactly tell her the truth so you played around with your words “but,, as I said, Doyoung and I just weren't meant to be. The last few months of our relationship were not the best and it was a mutual agreement to call it off,” you explained, using your hands to help tell the story.

 She nodded her head and sarcastically said: “yeah,, totally.”

The sun was setting, letting this emotion-packed day come to an end. You finished wiping the counter and hardly rushed to the break room. You touched up your hair and makeup and left to go wait for Jungwoo. Exiting the breakroom you were greeted with the sight of Jungwoo adorable rocking back and forth on his heels. His hands were in his sweaters pockets and his bangs messily rested on his forehead. 

“Hi,” you quietly waved at him. Jungwoo looked p and met your eyes, he smiled. 

“Well come on, let me take you somewhere nice,” he giggled at his own awkwardly choice of words. You smiled and followed close behind him, sending one last look to your coworker. 

“Where are we going?” you asked, curiously taking you over. 

“It really isn't the nicest place and it definitely isn't impressive, it's just somehow I find relaxing,” he chuckled. 

“Do you have a jacket? Cause you might get cold,” he added while looking you up and down. 

“Oh,, no,” you rubbed your neck in embarrassment. 

Jungwoo could tell that you felt bad “That's okay! If you get cold you can borrow my jacket,” he didn't realize how much his words would affect you. Your cheeks turned red and you felt your body dance in excitement. You couldn't help but compare Jungwoo to Doyoung.

 At first, Doyoung was sweet and would offer you his jacket but towards the end, he called you an idiot for not bringing one. WIthout thinking the words came out of your mouth “You're a lot nicer than Doyoung,” once the words came out of your mouth you covered your face behind your hand. J

ungwoo cocked his head to the side and looked back at you “Was Doyoung your fiance??” he asked, seemingly unbothered but your sudden words.

 Before you could answer he smiled when a food truck came into view “Ah! I know it's not that amazing but I like to get some food from here and eat it over at that picnic bench,” he pointed to a picnic bench under a tree.

 You giggled at how excited he seemed “I think it is amazing.” You both ordered your food and waited for it to be finished. 

“He was,, we were dating for 2 years and engaged for 1,” you looked over to meet Jungwoos gaze. 

He seemed sad as he spoke “You must’ve really liked him to be in such a long relationship with him,” he pointed out. You let out a laugh in relief. The vendor handed you your food and wished you a nice day. Walking over to the bench you cracked your brain on what to say. It felt like if you told Jungwoo he would leave but something deep inside told you that it was okay to tell him. 

“I did,, he was my entire world and I was ready to give up everything for his happiness,” you felt your eyes water. 

“Can I ask you something?” Jungwoo said while quietly nibbling on his food. 

“Yeah go ahead,” you wiped the tears that were about to fall and stared at him, intently waiting for his question. 

“Why did you guys break up?” he sighed. The silence that took over you guys was kinda heavy. You started to cry, not holding back. The muscles in your face started to tremble, the wall that you had built up thanks to Doyoung came crashing down at Jungwoos gaze. He was taken aback at first but quickly pulled out his handkerchief. The same one he had when you first met. Instead of giving it to you he leaned across the table and dabbed at your tears for you. 

“Its okay, you don't have to tell me if it brings up such bad memories,” Jungwoo seemed like such a caring guy. 

“Can I tell you the truth?” you asked, needing to get everything off of your chest. 

“Of course, your secrets are safe with me,” he gave you a gentle smile and patiently waited. 

“We made a deal the night we broke up. I would tell everyone that I called off the engagement and his secret wouldn't get out. Now everyone thinks I'm some heartless bitch that broke her finances heart 2 months before their wedding. It's the other way around. He cheated on me with one of my old coworkers and he broke up with me to be with her,” you explode with all your raw emotions. Jungwoo held out his arms in response. 

You walked over to him and held him tightly. Shaking against his body your hands clutched at his jacket and you cried. He slowly rocked back and forth, rubbing warm circles on your back. It didn't take long for your tears to sain his sweatshirt but he didn't mind. You rubbed your eyes and looked up at him, linking slowly with your tear-soaked lashes. 

“You haven't told anyone the truth?” he asked in utter disbelief. 

He pulled you closer to him as you spoke “You're the first one. I never even told my own family what actually happened.” You looked up in surprise when you felt something wet fall on your head. Locking eyes with Jungwoo you noticed he was crying. 

“Oh my gosh why are you crying?” you asked while gently wiping away his tears with the pad of your thumb. 

“Because I feel so bad. Y/n I really haven't known you for a long time but you seem like such a nice and wonderful girl and it physically hurts me to see you in pain.” His words hit you like a truck, even when you were at your worst Doyoung was never this caring. 

You were deep in thought, Jungwoos warm arms stayed tightly wrapped around you. It reminded you of the first time you and Doyoung kissed. You had been at a stop picking out snacks to eat while messing around. Being so obnoxious and loud the owner had chased you two out. You can't remember how far you and Doyoung ran or why you even ran so far in the first place. All you knew was that you were having the time of your life, in that moment you had never experienced something more fun. When you finally stopped running you placed your hands on your knees and tried to catch your breath. 

Doyoung couldn't stop laughing at the entire situation, he pulled you in for a hug and rocked back and forth with you in his arms. Once I looked up Doyoung pressed his warm lips to yours and you shared your first kiss together. It was heartbreaking for you to remember. Your lungs felt like concrete had been poured into them, the harder the concrete dried the less you could breathe. 

Thinking about Doyoung, Jungwoos arms didn't feel right wrapped around you. You didn't know what you were doing. You suddenly pushed Jungwoo away from you and went run, tears cascading down your cheeks. Jungwoo called out after you but you kept running until your legs felt like giving out under you. Screaming you let your body fall to the ground, knees bursting in pain at the sudden contact. You choked on your tears, gasping for air you begged for the pain to be over, you begged to feel any emotion other than sadness for once. 

“What am I doing?? Why would Jungwoo like me? We just met and for all, I know he could turn out like Doyoung,” your anxieties spoke in your head. You let yourself believe them because you are so afraid of what would happen if you loved again. Hysterical cries that only stopped when you needed to breath could be heard by anyone that passed by. Kneeling on the cold hard ground you continued to let the sobs take over your body for a few minutes. A few people passed by and completely ignores you, they didn't seem to care about the weird girl on the street. 

Grabbing your phone you shakily dialed Johnny's number. After a few rings he picked up “Johnny can we talk? I need to tell you something,” you said, hoping to meet up with your best friend. After a few seconds of awkward silence Johnny's loud voice spoke “Y/n I'm really sorry but with I'm Doyoung right now, maybe later,” he suggested. Though his words may have suggested otherwise you couldn't feel any remorse in his words. “Forget about it,” you said, hanging up on him. 

Standing up you wiped your puffy eyes and racked your brain over what to do. Your knees felt extremely sore and your entire body was weighing you down. All you wanted was to talk to someone, but none of your friends were on your side. They had all changed their opinions of you after “you” canceled the wedding. Thinking about all the people that you thought were you close friends you mind finally landed on someone. Your dearest coworker, Kyungmin. She was one of the only people that seemed to still like you and she was happy when you told her about Jungwoo. 

Shakily pulling out your phone you scrolled through your contacts in an attempt to find her. She wasn't someone that you had really depended on, the only times you ever talked outside of work were discussing if one of you could cover each other's hours. The few times you did talk about non shift covering things you talked about how rude your boss had been. Not once did you talk about your personal life together. Despite all that you felt like you knew everything about her, working side by side with someone so many days a week you kinda had a bond. Clicking on the call button on your contact you waited for her to pick up. The store would have been closed by now and she probably would have been relaxing in her dorm. 

“Y/n?” she asked, clearly taken back by your sudden call. 

“Kyungmin can we talk??” you could tell that her voice had taken her by surprise, it was obvious that you had been crying. 

“Uhh,, in person or over the phone?” she rolled her eyes, not liking the thought of having to meet up with you. 

“I would prefer it in person but if you can then on the phone is fine,” honestly all you wanted was to be able to talk to someone and tell them what happened and everything that had been going on.

 “I don't think I can meet up right now but go ahead and tell me what's wrong. Did your date with Jungwoo go alright?” you smiled when it sounded like she was genuinely concerned. 

“Gosh, it went perfectly until I messed it up,” sighing you thought back to how happy you had felt. Inhaling a deep breath you began to explain to Kyungmin everything. Starting from the beginning with your breakup. Kyungmin nodded along and seemed like she was actually listening. Once you were done it felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. 

“Y/n,, I'm so sorry,” she said, voice cracking. You thought that she was apologizing for what happened to you so you want to speak up and tell her it was fine when she added “Doyoung and Jieun told everyone that you broke his heart and that he showed up on Jieun's door crying because you kicked him out,” KyungMin explained to you what Jieun told her. “What?!” you shoot up in shock, head spinning at the sudden movement. 

“Yeah, I believed them...maybe that's why no one has been talking to you. As for the Jungwoo thing,, I say you go find him and explain how you were feeling in that moment and why you pushed him away. He sounds like he genuinely likes you...Ill... I'll try and deal with Jieun. Once again Y/n, I am so sorry,” Kyungmin hurriedly hung up the phone. You weren't really sure if she was actually going to “deal” with Jieun like she said she would be you had no choice but to blindly trust her. 

Collecting yourself and clamp down you tried to think of where Jungwoo might be. You didn't have his number and didn't know where he lived so you were kinda screwed. “Should,, should I go to the donation store? Lucas and him seemed close so he might have gone to him to talk things out?” you thought to yourself. Biting your lip you googled the store and dialed the number It rang a few times before a scratchy voice you grew to love spoke up “Gifts that keep on Giving this is Jungwoo speaking, how may I help?” he sniffled a few times signaling to you that he had been crying. Without saying anything you hung up and started to run towards the store. 

Despite the fact that you could count the number of times you’d been to the store on your fingers, you knew how to get to it. “Kim Jungwoo!! I'm so sorry,, I like you Jungwoo!” you screamed, picking up your pace. The pedestrians around you stopped to stare, they were probably wondering why you were acting like a madman but you could care less. “I hurt your feelings and I'm so sorry! I was afraid of you getting close to me and then suddenly leaving like Doyoung did!” you screamed again. It felt rather nice to just scream and get all these bundled up emotions off your chest. “Kim Dongyoung and Lee Ji Eun!! I'm going to kill you, you cheated on me and you make me out to be the bad guy! You made all my friends and family think I was some heartless bitch who kicked you out, whatever happened to our agreement?” You screamed, stopping when the store came into view. The more you ran the smaller your lungs seemed to feel, it had been years since you ran this much. 

You pushed open the glass door so hard it smacked against the wall next to it, making a loud crashing sound. “Jung,,, Jun,, Jungwoo,” you painted, hands on your knees. “Y/n?” Jungwoo and Lucas asked at the same time. Jungwoo rushed over to our side, glancing up at Jungwoo you couldn't help but lightly smile. “I need to-” you started to say before your vision went completely black. Everything around you seemed to fade into a scarily dark void, taking you with them. “Oh shit,” Lucas yelled when you passed out. Jungwoo lunged forward, sliding on his knees he managed to catch you before you hurt yourself by hitting the floor.

”May you please get some water?’ Jungwoo asked Lucas. He picked you up in his arms and carried you to a chair in the breakroom. He immediately noticed you're already scabbed and bruised knees. “Oh, Y/n,, what did you do to yourself?” he questioned despite you being passed out. Seeing you so helpless in his arms once again made him want to burst into tears. After what felt like hours Lucas finally returned with a glass of water. Jungwoo took the cup from him and carefully parted your lips so he could pour the water. His free hand tilted your head up, helping you swallow. Your eyes closed tighter and your body started to stir.

 “Oh gosh,” you mumbled, raising a hand to your forehead. “Y/n! You're awake,” Jungwoos big dopey smile appeared on his face. You opened your eyes and hazily blinked up at the cute boy. His face was rather close to yours as he peered down at you. All the events that had led to this moment gave you a surge of confidence that would have never surprise. 

Pulling down you brought his face closer to yours and placed an intense kiss on his lips. existed in any other situation. You wrapped your arms around Jungwoos neck, catching him but Almost like they were made for each other your lips molded together perfectly, it felt like all the cliches movie kisses exploded in your stomach. It took Jungwoo a moment to process what is happening when his brain finally did his cheeks heated up redder than a cherry. He finally returned the kiss, his hands brushed some hair out of your face as he deepened the kiss even more by lightly biting your lip. Gasping heavily you pulled away for air, giggling while you took in Jungwoos disheveled appearance. You couldn't help but notice his red puffy eyes, you softly used the pad of your thumb to brush away some tear droplets that hung around his eyes. 

“I'm so sorry I caused you so much pain. I didn't mean to, I was just so scared about everything that's happening. It felt like everything was moving so fast and I couldn't help but think of Doyoung. Jungwoo these past few weeks you have done nothing but cheer me up and support me endlessly, more than Doyoung did in the entirety of our relationship. You have shown me what it's like to be loved again and I want you to know I returned the feelings,” your voice was low and airy as you were still gasping for air. 

Lucas who had been standing in the back watching this all happen gasped and crept away, back out into the shop so he didn't have to continue watching that. “Gross,” he mumbled to himself as he thought back to the intense kiss you two shared right in front of him. “Nasty,” he added while shaking his head. Jungwoo turned as he sensed his best friend leaving. Turning back to face you he began to giggle, he helped you sit up. 

“Y/n I don't know what it is about you but something just keeps pulling me in. I'll admit, it's kinda scary. I don't know what the futures hold but what I do know is that I want the future to involve you,” he said while leaning in to place a gentle and warm kiss on your partially swollen lips. “Jungwoo,” you mumbled, tears welling up in your eyes for the millionth time that night.Jungwoo  softly laughed, his voice cracked as he spoke:

 “Don't cry.” Despite his own words he started to cry along with you. Soon the shop was filled with your loud sobs and Lucas’ comments. The sound of your phone ringing snapped you out of your crying fest. Your hands shook as you fiddled with it. A look of confusion spread across your face when you saw who was calling, answering the phone you were even more surprised by the words that came through. 

“Johnny?” you asked recalling the last time you spoke to your best friend. 

“Is it true?” he asked in a sharp voice. 

“Is what true?” you played dumb at his words. 

“Did Doyoung really cheat on you?’ he asked feeling the urge to cry. He couldn't believe that he believed some guy he barely knew over his own best friend, he felt like a total douche. 

“Oh,, so the truth is out now,” you took a moment to look at Jungwoo before you smiled and continued. 

“Doyoung did cheat on me, he suddenly broke up with me and explained that he had spent the past few months of his life with Jieun and he loved her. I felt so embarrassed about the wedding being called off that I asked if we could have everyone believe that I was the one who called it off and that it was a mutual decision. I didn't know that he and Jieun would go around telling that lie. I'm sorry I never told you the truth,” as you spoke Jungwoo grabbed your hand caringly. 

“God Y/n,, I'm the one who should be sorry, not you. I can't believe I actually thought you broke Doyoungs heart, I should have known better. I'm so sorry, can you forgive me,, and Yuta?” he asked, voice cracking. Y

ou nodded your head even though he couldn't see you “Of course I'll forgive you. Besides don't be to saddened about Doyoung and I’s break up,, I've found someone who genuinely loves me and I could ask for more,” you said while staring into Jungwoos eyes. 

His eyes sparkled with excitement “Hey Johnny I have to go,, talk to you later,” you said while hanging up the phone. 

“I really am sorry that I ran away earlier. I couldn't get the memory of what Doyoung did out of my head and I got really scared, I thought maybe you were playing a trick on me. Then I realized that you are a genuinely nice guy and it was my own insecurities turning you into someone who you are not,, Jungwoo I,,, I think I'm in love with you?” you looked up from the floor and into his eyes once more. 

Jungwoo gulped at your words, he pulled you into his chest and rubbed your back soothingly. His scent was so intoxicating you almost didn't listen to what he had to say. 

“Y/n I know I'm in love with you. Ever since I first saw you waiting for the bus, I knew there was something special about you,” he said while holding you even tighter. Jungwoo cradled you in his arms like he was afraid of letting go. You signed into his warm embrace. 

“Since I haven't officially asked you yet. Y/n would you like to be my girlfriend?” he pulled away and peered down at you. A big smile grew on your face and you rapidly nodded your head “I would love that,, It would be an honor, you giggled and kissed Jugnoo again. Kissing him was something you knew you'd never get tired of, his lips were so magnetic and tasted like sweet nectar. 

“I uh hate to interrupt your lovey-dovey moment here and all but uh,, I need to close up,” Lucas’ loud voice boomed through the small dim lighted room. He scratched the back of his neck as he stared at the both of you. You both started to laugh at Lucas’ words. 

“Yeah sorry about that,” Jungwoo and you started to stand. 

“Y/n would you like to stay over at my place tonight?” he asked with an arm around your waist. Your heartbeat quickened at his word and you shyly nodded your head “I would love too.”

Fiddling with the flower and pearl clip in your hair you swayed side to side. Kyungmin giggled as she watched you from her place at the vanity. 

“Y/n don't worry! Everything will be fine,” she quietly encouraged you. You turned around slowly, using your hands to help you swerving in the dress. 

“Are you sure? What if he sees me and just decides to leave-” you were about to list of all the horrible things that could go wrong when Kyungmin interrupt you. 

“If you keep focussing on the ‘What if’ moments  then you won't be able to enjoy the current moments.” She stood up and approved your shaky figure, taking your hand in hers she stared deeply into your eyes. 

“Y/n Jungwoo loves you more than anything in this world and that's pretty obvious to any stranger that happens to walk past you two. He isn't going to leave, he isn't Doyoung,” she stated while trying to get it in your head. You felt your shoulders relax, you started to jump up and down in excitement. 

“Oh my gosh Kyungmin I'm getting married!” you yelled. You both started to squeal and scream, jumping in a circle together while swinging your hands back and forth.  

“My best friend is getting married!” Kyungmin screamed at the top of her lungs. The lady who was doing your makeup giggled as she stared at you both, she shook her head and remembered back to the day of her wedding. A loud knock on the door caused you both to freeze in place. Kyungmin quietly walked over and opened it up just a crack.

 “Oh, babe!” she said while opening it all the way and engulfing Lucas in a big hug. “Jungwoo is super nervous and wanted me to check up on you two,” he said while smiling down at Kyungmin.

 “I think it's clear that you are doing fine. No cold feet?” he pointed out while laughing at the scene he had just heard through the door. 

“Hey Y/n!” Lucas yelled while running up to you, careful not to step on your dress.

 “Guess what,” he said while giving you a teasing smile. Kyungmin had approached you tow, cruises as to what he was going to say. He grabbed your hand with one hand and grabbed Kyungmins with the other. Swinging your guys' arms he yelled at the top of his lungs “You're getting married!” and started to jump in a circle. All three of you giggled as you danced in a circle, rejoicing. 

“I can't believe this is happening, you cried out in joy. Lucas flopped back on the couch and stared at you with doe eyes. 

“Thank you. Jungwoo has always been a shy and timid boy until he met you. I've never seen him so glowing before,” his voice was soft, it was a drastic change form the normal Lucas you had grown to know and love. 

“Of course. You have an amazing best friend, you know,” you said while sighing. “Everyone get into positions,, its time,” one of the workers said. Kyungmin and Lucas left the room hand n hand. You pushed all your nerves aside and waited for your cue to walk down the aisle. 

With your arm wrapped with who was walking down the aisle, you took a deep breath and pushed open the door. With tears in your eyes, you scanned the crowd. Johnny and Yuta stood next to Lucas at the top as groomsmen, Kyungmin next to Johnny and Yutas girlfriends as bridesmaids. You tried to calm your beating heart as you slowly walked down the aisle. Your eyes carefully to skimmed over the crowd in fear of looking at Jungwoo. 

You gasped quietly and then beamed when your eyes landed on a familiar face. “They did come,” you thought as you smiled at Doyoung and Jieun. Despite everything that they had done to you, you invited them to your wedding. Doyoung looked you up and down with a proud smile. Breaking eye contact with Doyoung you finally looked at Jungwoo. 

Jungwoos hand was hiding his face as the stars rapidly cascaded down your cheeks. “You look stunning,” he mouthed making you lightly laugh. You wiped your own tears and carefully stood in front of him. All of your memories flashed through your head, you couldn't believe you had fallen in love with the cute boy at the bus stop who offered you his handkerchief. Your ears tuned in and out of the justice of the peace words as you stared at your handsome soon to be husband. 

Holding the paper tightly Jungwoo began saying his vows. Once he was done you ripped your tears and read yours in return. 

The justice of the peace smiled and asked: “Do you, Kim Jungwoo take Y/n as your lawfully wedded wife?” Jungwoo inhaled a deep breath and nodded “I do.” 

“Do you Y/N L/N take Jungwoo as your lawfully wedded husband?” You didn't even have to think for a month. Your heart screamed in joy as you said this destined two words, the words you thought you were going to say for Doyoung. “I do.” Everyone was ready to clap as the justice of the peace finally said. 

“I announce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride,” he took a step aside. Jungwoo reached out and pulled you into him, your body pressed flush against his. Like the first time you ever kissed, fireworks erupted in your stomach and you giggled into the kiss. 

Pulling away every clapped and cheered. Kyungmin gave Lucas a warm smile while Johnny and Yuta high-fived. Doyoung and Jieun signed and held their hands together tighter. 

You were entering a new chapter of your life, one that you were not familiar with and you were more than happy that it was Jungwoo who would write it with you. 

[xldsims]

It’s been a while, but I’m finally gonna try and catch up!

It’s been a while, so before I start, I’d just like to say:

And an incredibly belated Merry Christmas to everyone :P

So...on with the answers! :D

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@plummiesims asked:

I'm gonna be 100% honest I just found ur blog bc sssvitlans re-blogged ur Altus facial hair and I SCREAMED. I love Dorian Pavus So Much :") thank u im probably gonna add it to my game adhsbd;;;           

[R]: Ha, thanks :P Stuff like this makes my day XD

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Anonymous asked:

Will you be updating the male sims clothing override for the new expansions and dlc? The EA version is trash.            

[R]: I’ll try my best when I can :) They are trash but unfortunately, the method I’m using to override them just isn’t working as well on newer meshes :(

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Anonymous asked:

Would the drowned out skinblend be compatible with lumia's vanilla skin or are you planning on making another one?                    

[R]: It should work with it. I use it over his default replacement skins and they work very well!

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Anonymous asked:

Hi, can you do a female kinky tapered cut type style? both short and sorta high?                

[R]: It all really just depends on what I’m wanting to do really, unfortunately :P I’m more leaned to making male based cc, so it really just depends on what I’m feeling. I can never give anyone a straight answer [no pun intended XD], unless I was already thinking of doing it :o

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Anonymous asked:

Can you do a higher version of the vindicator?                        

[R]: It’s an easy enough ask. I could probably lump it in with some other hairs I’m thinking of giving variations ;)

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Anonymous asked:

Hii my brother loves your content sooo much :) thank youu                    

[R]: I’m glad he does! Thanks so much for the message! :DD

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Anonymous asked:

Where did you go?                

[R]: In to the deep and dark shadows of Real Life XD. I went through somethings, had a couple of jobs and am still looking for one tbh. Played a lot of other games and did some other things. Basically just trying to re-focus my life and sort things out. Other would say that I’m “trying to be an adult” XD

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Anonymous asked:

Wait, is your sims really a man or bear or are you a man (not to offend)          

[R]: They can be anything you want’em to be XD

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@rocknrollvampire asked:

Hello! I'm a SIMS 4 player (obviously) from France. First, thanx for your amazing CC. I would like to know what poses packages and overlays you use with the sims "modeling" for your CC. Thanx for your answer.                  

[R]: First of all, thank you! Second, most of them were from @vanderetro​ and a handful of others I can’t quite remember. A lot of the ones I use now tend to be my own custom made poses however.

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@jonysimmer​ asked:

Hello, first of all your CC is incredible. Question: Are you planning to do the roll-up version of Ryder's henley?  

[R]: I’ve been thinking about doing that, just never got around to it. It’s definitely something I’d plan on doing in the future :)

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Anonymous asked:

Your smooth as fuck v1 hair looks super weird when I zoom out from my sim. It flattens out on the sim's head and looks very strange.         

[R]: My earlier did’nt have the complete set of LODs that my newer hairs tend to have. Chances are, when you zoom out, you’re seeing the EA hair I used as an import base in S4Studio :P

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Anonymous asked:

hi! your sim derrick are amazing omg omg, can you share him please? thank you! keep going! 

[R]: Yeah, of course! I’m definitely gonna be sharing him at some point. :P

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Anonymous asked:

Is Just outta bed hair bgc?            

[R]: I’m probably a little late to respond, but yes, to re-affirm to everyone, it is BGC. In actual-fact, most, if not all the hairs that I’ve released are BGC ;)

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@aeonpixels​ asked:

Hey XLD ^-^ can you imagine to convert also may the long white gown from Mass Effect 3? "Liara Ashley, Liara and Miranda in Dress, from Mass Effect 3 Citadel DLC by nach77 who has an image on his deviantart. If I could I would try it myself but I dunno how to extract such stuff from other games as a bloody noob.. Just started... =) Since you are experienced in that, I thought I would ask... may there is hope for some female clothes from ME, LOL Thanks a bunch for your coversions and creation ;)          

[R]: Probs, at some point. Just depends on where I’m at and where my motivations lie! :)

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Anonymous asked:

Hi. Are you gonna possibly upload ME:A sims as well in the future? I cannot wait, because your work is so perfect. Thank you.                  

[R]: Yeap, this ask would’ve been from a while back, but I do have post showing the order they’ll be released (including some of my anticipated ME:OT character recreations ;))

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Anonymous asked:

Do you think that you could make a flattop haircut?                  

[R]: I’ve actually been trying to figure out how to execute this for a while. I feel like someone’s probably done it before though, but I’ll keep trying :P

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@catewithak asked:

Have you ever considered making more MM Dragon Age hairs? Either gender? I love your Altus, and I also hate alpha texture, but that seems to be the only Dragon Age hair CC I can find!                  

[R]: Yeah, any bioware-based hairs (*in maxis match*) are usually a rarity. I’ll definitely be trying to fill the void of MM DA hairs where and when I can :)

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@mqsnail asked:

Hi Xld, huge lover of all your cc (i can't tell you how grateful i am for male clothe and hair cc. I had a question about one of your hairs, i've been noticing that the procrastinator hair would make certain parts of my sim's head shine as if he had some specs. The shine is noticeable in game and when moving household.

[R]: It’s been a persistent issue for a while, and I’ve unfortunately never been able to pinpoint where it’s coming from. I’ve fixed the spec-maps before on my own files, but to no avail. Unfortunately I can’t provide a fix :( I usually don’t mind it too much at this point since it’s not always that visible.

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@puzzlebot​ asked:

I'm so sorry to bother you but i've been trying for ages to get a mesh into a full body costume like you did with garrus, but i just can't find any kind of resources that could help me out and even though i'm familiar with blender i'm running into so many hiccups! is there any chance you could point me in the right direction e.g a tutorial that you would personally recommend ?       

[R]: Unfortunately I don’t have any tutorials I use (most of my endeavors have been purely trial and error). Just look up some general stuff about blender features and get to know what they do. The main thing to do for getting a mesh into a full body ts4 costume is to append the model to the full body costume mesh file, delete the meshes in the LODs containing it and joining the mesh you want to said LODs --> then import to S4S and enjoy :D

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Anonymous asked:

ngl i check your blog weekly to see if you've posted liam kosta. i'm so eager to have him in my game lol                  

[R]: I’m still trying to sort out his hair which is a bit twitchy with the way I made it :P Until that’s done, there’s not going to be a Liam Kosta release :/

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@adamleeds1989​ asked:

I hope this question isn't disrespectful, but how do you usually create your male sims? Thank you very much and hope you have a nice day!                  

[R]: No disrepect at all! I look around...the internet. Sometimes I just make one until I like what I see. A lot of the time, I’m just messing with other male sims I’ve already made as bases. No formula, no rules, just kinda do what I want :P

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Anonymous asked:

Hey, I really really love your Garrus Sims version and I'd love to have him in my game, but unfortunately I don't own outdoor retreat. I was just wondering if you ever got around to making him base game friendly. Sorry if this has been asked before.     

[R]: My main issue is finding a full base-game costume to place him in to make him BGC. There probably are ones now, but I just haven’t had the time to sift through the files :o

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@oceanmangetsthisbread​ asked:

Will you link your tali suit soon?                    

[R]: Tali is a special, special mesh...that won’t cooperate. She still doesn’t have hands atm, so probably not for a while :(

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@applecat90 asked:

Hi! I just fell in love with your male sims. Love your work! I tried to recreate them in my TS4, but they look slightly different than your original sims. I checked the cc list, and even used Tray Importer to know which cc items I needed, but I couldn't make it. I couldn't find proper Upperbody cc(which is used in almost every sims you made, id is 892D886D8DC9550E) and skindetailcreasemouth cc(I think this one is replaced by your DrownedOut skin overlay for later sims) and default skin.

'cause I have complete cc list for one of your sims, Kenney, but still he looks slightly different in tones of face and body(I tried Luumia's smoothish 1,2 DR, vanilla), Hiroki's betterbody). Would you please share the information about which default skin replacement & upperbody did you use to make these sims? Thank you! and thank you for your amazing works.    

[R]: Doesn’t seem like they’re anything crucial? Usually the only things that really make my sims different is the skin overlay, and using Drowned Out usually makes the difference. I’d have to give this some thought. It’s possible that the upper body mods have to do with the muscle slider I used? Other than that, there wasn’t all that much else to them :/

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@jdowellc asked:

Hey, I'm not sure if you monitor or update anything still, but I'm a huge fan of the Major hair in particular. I was just wondering if you knew that the Major 2 isn't hat compatible? At least not in my game anyway - newest update. The whole back of the hair disappears when a hat is used which makes them look bald. Just a heads-up I guess (I'm not expecting anything) :)                

[R]: Honestly my bad! It’s probably something I forgot to add since I may have posted the file the way it was (’cause I never actually intended on releasing the Major 2 in the first place :P). I’ll try get that rectified when I can.

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@prixetoilesims​ asked:

Thanks to you, I’ve added Garrus and my Shepard to the sims and now I’m looking for a way to make baby Asari and I blame you 100% for feeding my mass effect addiction SO THANKS  NO BUT SRSLY THANK YOU ♥️♥️      

[R]: Thanks ♥️♥️     ♥️♥️     XDD I’m feeding my own addiction too, probably worse on my end letting it consume me, but I’m glad other can feed their own addictions as well XD

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Anonymous asked:

Hey I love your content! I always come back to check to see if you upload anything new! XD Willing to donate :) I had a question on how to download your good looking sims? Do you download/install them just like Mods?     

[R]: You pretty much extra them for the zips and into your tray files :D That easy! And thanks so much! I’ll definitely try to make an effort when I have time to release some more content. Already got some hairs I could probably drop soon :)

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Anonymous asked:

Finally you resurrected.

[R]: Not quite, but you better believe I’m getting there.

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@eggysimblr asked:

Hi, I just Recently discovered Mass Effect (Finished 1 and soon finishing 2), And I was wondering, will you make some Quarian CC? You know, because Tali'Zorah is my girl...              

[R]: Tali’s if friggin’ amazing. I know @bmso85sims‘s been making a few bits of quarian and misc mass effect content as well so I’d check them out. I’ve been struggling myself with converting Quarian content, so it’d be a while before I release anything, let alone Tali unfortunately XD

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@theprodigalbanana asked:

Hi, I just wanted to thank you again for getting me into the series and for the ME sims , especially John and Kaidan. I'm going to play these two to fill the void that ME left in my heart. They are so sweet together and your short stories encapsulates that perfectly. I couldn't access some of them so I was wondering if they are a WIP. I was also wondering if sth bad would happen if I install John and Kaidan as it says that they are outdated. I love your work and thanks for getting me into ME :D            

[R]: Don’t worry, I’ve been filling that same void for years XD And no, nothing bad’ll happen, it’s just that I have newer edits of them these days (and I there’s always something about them that needs tweaking). I’m also secretly an advocate for Bioware [jk, but still XD].

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@metalfenix asked:

I'm glad you're fine, xalder. Take it easy and concentrate on your job quest. (Even though I would be a liar if I say I didn't wanted to ask you about the suspenders lol).                    

[R]: I know right, me and those goddamn suspenders? I might as well release them as is honestly. I’ve been okay with how they look for ages, but quite frankly, they’re a bit hit and miss -- but if you seem to be good with them, there’s no reason why I can’t release them :P

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Anonymous asked:

Hello I was wondering if I can have the tray files to two of your goodlooking Sims please? :)            

[R]: Any sims specifically being requested? ;P

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@shinyobservationhottub asked:

Im having a visual glitch with the Scimitar hair. It looks like light streaks peering through the head when zoomed out at a certain distance. The hair looks amazing so I still want to use it, but wanted to come drop this by.         

[R]: Those are some strange and rather elusive specularish[?] issues that don’t actually seem to be on the specular maps in the hairs. I still don’t have a clue how to fix it, and it personally hasn’t bothered me too much so I’ve kinda just grown to live and let live (y’know, until there’s some fix for it :P)

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Anonymous asked:

Hey, when will you upload tali's suit?                

[R]: May be, sometime...when her hands aren’t totally screwed up :P

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@volundrromu asked:

Hi!I really liked your character - Tali'zorah. Can I download it?              

[R]: Now this is honestly such a popular question! Please refer to the above ask. :P

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Anonymous asked:

Jump from 1k to 4k? Are you computer fine?                

[R]: I have a pretty high-end gaming PC, so it handles like smooth butter. :P

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Anonymous asked:

Hi there, I was just wondering if you were going to put the kaidan's email mod back up? thank you!              

[R]: I’m going to be bumping this up in priority to upload, don’t worry :P I haven’t actually released it at all yet, since the original files are on my laptop that I used to game on. Will be tweaking the files for both male and gender-neutral references in the message so no one gets left out :P

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Anonymous asked:

Can you make a female version of your loin cloth that you currently have for male sims?                        

[R]: An easy enough ask too :P Just depends on where my priorities lie, but it’s definitely something I could put on my to-do list. I think @quiddity-jones might have made a conversion of it -- I could probably get her to upload it :)

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Anonymous asked:

Can you reupload the male loincloth files?            

[R]: Yes! It’s a goddamn crime that tumblr removed it.

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@heyisfurwhoresez asked:

Please repost the oiled up skin overlay!              

[R]: I’m definitely making that a priority!

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Anonymous asked:

Does Garrus still require Outdoor Retreat?                

[R]: Unfortunately, at the moment, yes :(

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@limefiend asked:

Were your overlays wiped out with the nsfw ban? do you still have them up somewhere else, or are they like gone?  post/139654327414, post/149505614209, and post/155480567079 are mia now.                      

[R]: Looks like there’s a good 10-20% of my original posts (not just CC) that got wiped out in the stupid-ass nsfw ban. I’ll definitely get to reposting them soon and rewiring the download links. They’re still on simfileshare, I’ll just need to be making the necessary fixes for the links. :)

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@cejeubeu asked:

Hi there. I just came across your tumblr today and saw some of your uploaded sims. I've downloaded them, but I wanted to send some potential suggestions, primarily one: could you upload the CC in a ZIP containing the tray files for the sim? I've seen a few uploaders do this and it's not only convenient but it's much better than linking the sources, since often times the source can move to a different page or the link given simply may not work anymore, as if the case for some of your pages linked  

[R]: For my mass effect sims, the content is usually separated so users can dl the bits they want. Other sims I’ve uploaded usually don’t have a lot of CC associated with them, and are usually the same bits I use across the board, so you only need to download them once from any of the links of my releases. Plus breaking up the downloads into smaller files is easier on my near-dial-up-ass adsl internet speeds (I don’t get fiber where I am since our local district council isn’t looking to update our zone until the mid 2020s).

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@jonysimmer asked:

Hi, are you planning to do the pants that everybody uses in ME Andromeda? Because I converted it but... looks weird. BTW: I love your Tumblr!!

[R]: I’ve been trying to make the textures for it, so I’ll definitely be working on it on the side. It was one of the things setting me back from releasing my Andromeda sims. Also, thanks XDD

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Anonymous asked:

Hey there, I wanted to download the Dorian's moustache cc but it's removed, was wondering if you could reupload it or something. Please & Thank You                    

[R]: I don’t even know how that was explicit content, there was literally just a picture of his face XD Tumblr pls. I’ll get the links up as soon as I can :)

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Anonymous asked:

Can you please post an updated download for the all oiled up overlay? It disappeared from my game a few days ago and I truly miss it as I'm sure others do as well. <3                

[R]: My game’s not quite up-to-date so I don’t know what exactly the problem is so I’ll definitely have to look into it. Most updates shouldn’t be breaking something

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Anonymous asked:

The URL’s no longer work for the misc skin overlays ☹️                    

[R]: Thanks to tumblr’s tyrannical nsfw purge, I’m gonna have to repost, so they’ll be up soon again, dw :)

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Anonymous asked:

Hey I'd really love to use All Oiled Up if you could repost that <3                    

[R]: Definitely, it’s been asked quite frequently so it’ll be high up on my tumblr to-do-list :P

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[jacktherph]

Hi, Jack! We are a new murder mystery roleplay inspired by A Series of Unfortunate Events with new plot twists and characters. We would love some feedback. May we please have an opinion? Please, feel free to take as much time as you need. Thank you so much! We really appreciate it!

hi there @unfortunate-rp​! i’m happy to give you an opinion. since you didn’t specify private, i will post this on my blog. feel free to ask me to take it down if that was a mistake.

NOTE: all opinions expressed here are mine, jack’s, belonging to jack. i make no claims to knowing what is best for every group – i only offer advice based on my experiences, what i’ve seen in the community, and my personal knowledge. no one person knows what is best for you or any group other than yourself; because you were the one who put all of this together in the first place. so take everything i say as a suggestion, and remember that you have accomplished so much!!

and if you have any questions, want feedback on something specific, or want elaborations on anything said in this opinion, don’t hesitate to message me!!

this isn’t just an opinion, it’s a shoutout and a rec!! any fans of the asoue book series &/or recent netflix adaptation will adore this rpg. it perfectly captures everything snicket was about from beginning to end and the skeletons are frankly fucking amazing. what a creative admin team!! 

start: 2.30 | pause: none | end: 2.58TOTAL: HERE 28 minutes to read all pages (please don’t take this as a measure of anything, I simply time myself and am a speed reader)

*spelling error on /uptown: Mureau Cinema -- Christmas

So the first thing I’m going to say before I go into the full details of each page and contents and such is that I have one big recommendation: finding a way to adjust your line height in your code. The common theme I ran into while reading all of your pages is that after a while my eyes would gloss over certain sentences because I thought I was reading each line but they were too bunched together. Because you have such beautiful pages with so much information to give to your members, this is super important. If you’d like me to see if I can find that part of your code for you, feel free to IM me at any time and I’ll be happy to help.

My first impression of everything is a big fat fucking WOW. From the pages to the graphics to even the way you word things I feel like I’ve been transported back to that dreadfully delightful macabre world Snicket created for me as a child. I don’t know if you’ve been given proper praise for that yet but if you haven’t you certainly deserve it. You have a functional and helpful theme that works for what you need from it and your design of everything is both simple and artistic at the same time. When you have a new acceptance posted the dual ember gifs make it feel like there’s a lot going on but it’s not consistent, with too many repeated or flashing gifs, and so there’s not anything you need to do to change that in my opinion. It just tends to happen with graphics that use the same images. Really though, please feel extremely accomplished about the tone and theme you set on your main. I’ve never gotten more of an impression of what an rpg is about by one glance than I do here.

Your Plot is astounding. Disregarding the fact that you wrote it just like Snicket, I think this is one of the most original fandom concepts I’ve seen in some time. This was the perfect story to be able to take away from the canon and still keep it within the realm of possibility. I’m actually really glad you did this so well because this way people can still have all of the fun of the storyline and plots and not have to worry about the possibility of “playing a canon character wrong” or trying to fit it into the canon of the books/show.

I’ll sort of go into all of your lore pages as a whole rather than go through every single page? Because the love and dedication you’ve taken to ensure potential members and your members have everything they need in order to work within the worldbuilding of your group. I can seriously appreciate that as an admin of a group with a ton of lore, myself. That you go into so much detail on the locations pages and everything about VFD, you make it so your main is the one-stop shop for information rather than asking people to go elsewhere like a wikia page and I’m gonna shout my praises to you for that!

So your Guidelines are something I’m a little iffy on -- and I’m gonna say this is honestly the only thing I really find debatable about your rpg. The very nature of the ASOUE series was about children being involved in all of the gruesome stuff that comes with being an adult; so in that I can see why you allow writers of any age. But you also have content warnings such as smut, violence, drugs, and etc. and state that the roleplay itself will have mature themes and contents. So that being said, I have two moral issues: allowing members under 18 and the playing of characters who are minors. Generally I’m against playing characters who are minors of any kind. That results in using FCs who are minors and yes, while they are celebrities, it gives the potential for undue associations with the child star. Have you considered possibly keeping children out of the RPG except for in the case of mentioned NPCs? Regarding the “members under 18” bit, honestly that one isn’t as much of a big deal so long as your members are tagging and using read-mores where and when needed, but i’ll include that it will deter a certain number of people from joining your group. I’m not telling you to change anything -- but these are things I think you should maybe think about and consider adding changes to?

Your Skeletons and Faceclaims are so widely wonderful and diverse. You have such a wide range of trans characters and I always look for that in RPGs. But you’re also extremely body positive and age positive as well. This is what the faceclaim page of every rpg should look like, so applause for you. I only looked at a few of your skeletons to get a feel for them, but from what I did look at each one is unique in their own way and you have done an impressive job weaving them in with not only one another but the story. Each one has an important role to play and none feel like they’re just there for any sort of token points. You must have put a lot of work into this and you admin/s need to recognize that this immense amount of creativity is brilliantly impressive.

Personally, I think all you need to do is link to your skeleton page with the filters, rather than having a whole page with links that bring people to the tags the filters divide by, but that is more of a suggestion and if you find what you have works for you then there’s nothing more to be said. As for the images on the skeleton page: you obviously make them fit better with the psd/texture, which I like, but some of them still stick out in their brightness. Maybe go back and look at them and dim some of them individually or try to get them with a matching color hue to make them seem a little more uniform?? But the distinction between npcs and skeletons with the monochrome is great.

Overall your graphics match very well!! Your character template is perfect for the vibe and the psd you have on your images ensures they all look very uniform and put-together. The sidebar gif on the homepage feels a little left out compared to the rest, though? I don’t know if you have a lot of history working with gif editing but either changing the size, adding the psd, or adding a little SOMETHING to it might make it seem a little less “floating on it’s own in a void” in your sidebar.

Your Applications, both of them, are very well thought out and you definitely ask for everything that I can see being necessary in this group. Some in the community are against fully fleshed out apps like this but those who see your group and see the effort in your applications should feel inspired with everything that they answer!! You even provide links for them in helping find occupations and such, and that’s going above and beyond. My one thing is…. Why are both applications on bright white backgrounds and not set as pages of your main? It’s just confusing to me, nothing big. And the white sort of startles me after looking at your darker-colored pages for such a long time.

My FAVORITE THING about your rpg: the complete-ness of it all. I genuinely cannot think of one thing I would like to see here, information or rpg-wise, that would help me as a potential member understand your rpg better. You obviously put so much work into everything here and I could not be more thrilled. As the story goes on you might add more pages or such but for an rpg that hasn’t opened yet (at the time I’m writing this) there is NOTHING that needs adding, in my opinion.

My LEAST FAVORITE THING about your rpg: I’m… struggling to find something, but I guess if I had to pick it would be the layout of your applications -- how they exist on a white page rather than within a page on your main. It’s just slightly jarring to go from all that darkness to a bright white page. Think about putting them as pages on your theme and honestly you’re good to go??

OVERALL this is probably one of the best examples of a put-together skeleton and bio rpg I’ve ever seen. Like, I don’t even know anything about the series beyond the show and I had to stop myself from joining while writing this opinion. Even if someone knows nothing about the fandom they could be coaxed to join after just taking a few minutes to look at everything you’ve put together and provided for people. You didn’t leave anything I could think of out and included more than I would have thought if I were the one putting this rpg together. The fact that you may have done this solo stuns me even more. This is an rpg everyone should check out because it has everything people are looking for: diversity, depth, a well-formed plot, and the potential to last for some time with the right cast and crew behind it.

Well fucking done.

Sincerely,Jack

[witch-of-time-and-letters]

POESÍA DE CANCIONES EN INGLÉS “THEY FUCK ME THEN BECOME “GENIUS”! BUT NOBODY SAID ME OR HELP ME TO JOIN.

OVerture: someone remember 22th december,

Is there anybody going to listen to my story is all about the girl who came to stay?

She's the kind of girl You want say much, it makes you sorry Still you don't regret a single day

                                 Part. I[PAST ERASED]

I was the foolest timid boy, i just tried to arrive to a new place where i could found everything what i needed years ago, im not their nigga girl turns to White, the sacrifice to all Aliens Gods NO i just a trans girl who survive against everything fighthing with my brain and guts for dignity.

I grew up in a small town and when the rain would fall down, I'd just stare out my window dreaming of what could be and if I'd end up happy. Trying hard to reach out but when I tried to speak out always felt like no one could hear me tried to wanted to belong here

But something felt so wrong here So I breakaway

I'll spread my wings, and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky and I'll make a wish take a chance, make a change and breakaway, out of the darkness and into the sun

BUT, Hey Dellilah!

Don't want to be an American Idiot,, welcome to a new kind of tension, all across the alienation.

I don't need premition, make my own decisions, why can't I live my life.

Do ya think? Do ya think? Do ya think? And there's nothing wrong with me.

                               Part. II-CITIE OF DAMNED SOULS-

What an amazing time, what a family, how did the years go by? Now it's only me

They say I'm crazy I really don't care That's my prerogative, They say I'm nasty but I don't give a damn, everybody's talking all this stuff about me, Why don't they just let me live?

Another day, another tale of rape and another ticking bomb to bury deep and detonate. I’m not the only one who finds it hard to understand, I’m not afraid of God

¡I am afraid of injustice!.

Your misery and hate will kill us all .Do you fight it to the end

                                     (Singing to my killers)

Everyone is so full of shit Born and raised by hypocrites

Hearts recycled but never saved From the cradle to the grave

Im forgotten they will sacrifice me for the Jesus of your luxurya

Underneath it all they’re just savages in everyone hidden behind shirts, ties and marriages. How could we expect anything at all? We’re just animals still learning how to crawl.

That disease's growing, it's an epidemic I'm scared that there ain't a cure meanwhile the world believes it and I'm going crazy, I cannot take any more.

My memory will carry on and on i carry through the fears

Do or die

Wont explain or say i'm sorry

They´re from a whole  becoming from another world that different dimensión.

Cause my cHips dont lie.

Tell me what’s wrong with society

Is everybody going crazy? Is anybody gonna sell my house?  Can anybody tell me what’s going on?

Tell me what’s going on cause If you open your eyes  You’ll see that something is wrong.

                                      Part. III: SUICIDAL ACTS.

I.                    PILLS

Me and my head high and my tears dry my odds are stacked

Why am I doing this to myself? Losing my  in don a tiny error

Don’t lose who you are, in the blur of the stars! Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

¡Im not their Twisted Trans(gender)istor!

II.                  BLOOD

But since you been gone I can breathe for the first time

I’m so moving on yeah yeah Thanks to you, now I get what I want

III.                WATER

I'll go back to black, we only said (nothing) with words I died a hundred times

Im not your Everybody's fool, I just wanna live and i don't really care about the things that they say i don't really care about what happens to me

IV.                THE SILENCE

IM NOT Jesus of (your Luxurya) Suburbia, I come alone and alone Ill die

°°°

                                      Part. IV TO FAKING LOVERS.

He (or She), you’re an alien,

if you loved me, you would be here with me

and I'm sick of the lies, and you're too late.

So don’t bother, me I won’t die of depression, I promise myself  won’t ever see me cry

Don’t feel pitty but he’s waiting the ring you gave to his will lose its shine

So don’t bother, be unkind

                                       Part: V. UNHOLY PRAYERS

I

All my life I've been so lonely

All in the name of my goals

Still, you'd like to think you know me.

II

In the religion of the insecure I must be myself, respect my youth.

III

¡No, not gonna die tonight Ive gotta stand and fight forever!

IV

I'm not ashamed, I'm gonna show my scars,

V

How long must I wait? 'Till you learn that it's too late

How long must I cry?'Till you know that i really tried

How long must I try?'Till you learn that my dreaming's hard

How long must you dream?'Till you heal my bleeding soul

Never mind my bleeding soul

VI

Cause London calling, London calling, London is calling with his bridge broken by that fallen pedestal.

VII

And no matter how hard you try

I'll always belong in the sky.

                        Part: VI AGAINST manly GIRLS VS  girly BOYS

¡Im not pretty boy im just a girl not a héroe!

Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me. through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.

¡Hey you, hey you, devil's little sister!

I don’t mind, let you down easy but just give me time If it don’t hurt now but just wait, just wait a while. Ain't it fun? Living in the real world. Ai'’t it good? Doing all alone

Ain’t it good to be on your own? Ain’t it fun you can't count on no one? Ain’t it good to be on your own? Ain’t it fun you can count on no one? Ain’t it fun? You see it’s easy to ignore trouble when you’re living in your bubble

Chanel this, Chanel that, Chanal that shit hell yeah

(This is how they do)

Santa Marmota, chique, at La Super Rica Mamazota, stealing tacos, checking out jotties since now they talking astrology, getting their nails did, all Japanese-y this goes out to all you people going to bed with a ten and waking up with a zero.

                                   GIRLY IN VISION:

They so gay and they don't even like boys with their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny feets

You're so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal You're so skinny you should super size the deal

Secretly you're so amused That nobody understands you

¡Like it or not, even though she´s a lot like me!

                               MANLY IN VISION:

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back what happened to the dreams of a girl president?

Where, oh where, have the smart people gone? Oh where, oh where could they be?

They travel in packs of two or three, stupid girls, Push up my bra like that, ¡I don't wanna be a stupid girl!

                           SEXUS CONVEXUS MEXICANUS.

Pretty will you fuck me girl, silly I'm so lucky boy, Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid faggot!

Pretty would you fuck me boy, silly I'm so lucky girl, Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid lesbian!

¡So fix your eyes and get up! Yes, No's, egos, fake shows

Couldn't take the blame, they are sick with shame must be exhausting to lose your own game selfishly hated, no wonder you're jaded

I'm so glad that I'll never fit in, that will never be me

And after all I’m glad that I’m not their type

       Part. VII GNOME KINGSLANDING VS ARROGANTS TALLEST IVARIES.

The knife wants to slit me

You had to have it all, Well have you had enough? You greedy little bastard, You will get what you deserve. When all is said and done, I will be the one to leave you in the misery and hate what you've become. You think you've won this fight, you've only lost your mind.

When you're gone we want you all to know, I'll carry on and in my heart I cant contain it

¡Land of make believe That don't believe in me, Land of make believe that I don't believe in me and I don't care!

It's me versus everyone else

                                   Part. VIII: CRYING IN THEIR HATE ABYSS.

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading so sick and tired of all the needless beating. Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head.

My prerogative: ¡Cause im born this way and im my hair!

How could I have burned Paradise how could I, my dreams were never mine?

I don't love you like I did Yesterday

[junker-town]

THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE, Texas is just hopping mad

Texas leads a wide-ranging tour of the angry college football internet after Week 9.

Welcome back to THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE, your weekly rocket ship ride through the most infuriated regions of the college football galaxy. Last week, this page focused exclusively on Ohio State, because that was the only logical choice. This week, we’re taking a journey around a small handful of furious fanbases on the internet.

Texas lost to Oklahoma State, knocking the Longhorns out of the top 10.

Though they remain in the thick of a chaotic Big 12 race, it’s a disappointing moment for Tom Herman’s bunch. Said one Longhorn fan afterward:

I don’t want to watch football anymore

That was the title of a message board thread. This was the profound body:

.

And there you have it.

A former Texas linebacker got into a fast-escalating online beef with a current Texas cornerback, who’d been suspended for the first quarter.

Ex-Horn Emmanuel Acho initially defended the suspended Kris Boyd, because Texas sitting down a starting cornerback had the side effect of helping OSU get lots of yards:

I understand all the, “teach your players a lesson” tweets, but YALL understand, if Saban benched players everytime they violated team or American laws, Bama might not have a single national title.

— Emmanuel Acho (@thEMANacho) October 28, 2018

But then Acho — who’s now an ESPN analyst — got rougher.

Bruh, you can’t be late to meetings THEN come out here and get mossed. Your team needs you. #Texas #OkState

— Emmanuel Acho (@thEMANacho) October 28, 2018

And then he used the “trash” word ...

I can’t watch this dude play defense anymore. It’s actually trash. If you know. You know. #Texas

— Emmanuel Acho (@thEMANacho) October 28, 2018

... and said he wasn’t talking specifically about Boyd, but, uh:

Naw I feel u, and I didn’t say I was talking about Kris, I would never put nobody on front street like that... but anybody who feels that tweet applies to them should probably step up. I played hella trash games in my day lol. U grow and move on u feel me

— Emmanuel Acho (@thEMANacho) October 28, 2018

How’d Boyd respond? Aggressively.

Boyd going straight after Acho on Instagram. Smart. pic.twitter.com/0LuqqMGzl4

— Burnt Orange Nation (@BON_SBNation) October 28, 2018

Fortunately for Boyd, INSTAGRAM ASSAULT is not a violation of team rules.

One fan had a spicy take about what should be done to the game’s officiating crew: They should all be handed over to the mob.

Refs are screwing us again

The offsides on that 4th down was f%<*¥ing criminal. Somebody send the mafia to threaten the refs to pay these dickheads back for 2015.

Texas fans were livid at the officiating in 2015’s OSU-UT game, when a few apparent officiating errors went against the Horns. Every other Big 12 fan in the universe thought it was deeply ironic to see Texas fans upset about refs.

(Texas actually had a legit beef about that offside call, yeah. Oklahoma State sent a bunch of guys in a “motion” that looked a lot like emulating live play, and refs didn’t call a false start, but instead penalized the Horns for jumping off. The Horns also probably got away with a penalty in their end zone later in the game. Either way, Sicilian crime families must get involved.)

This Horns fan was MAD and only got MADDER when nobody wanted to join in being EXTREMELY MAD.

User TexasHorn started this thread on the team’s 247Sports message board before Texas’ body was even cold, while it was still the second half:

A COMPLETE JOKE

Dan Neil, we have our answer, NO, Texas is not mature enough to handle success

Being destroyed on national television - not sure if the Horns can recover before next week because wvu has a better team than osu

Nobody responded, so they added:

Sorry for being honest - where am I wrong guys, seriously?

Any one thrilled with this performance?

Still, nobody responded, so they added again:

Explain the off sides guys - want to argue the complete joke comment?

So tired or posting without any response - gutless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, someone replied:

We’re playing scared like a bunch of pussies. Coaches and players.

Persistence always pays off.

THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE is usually about fans, but Tom Herman is now the second head coach to make an appearance, thanks to the end of the game.

This is the sort of sprinting velocity that can only be generated by pure anger.

Recap of Tom Herman & Mike Gundy in the late scrap, their postgame handshake and Gundy's interview explanation pic.twitter.com/CMzJpKwzpw

— CJ Fogler (@cjzer0) October 28, 2018

(Herman and Mike Gundy are fine.)

Herman joins Jeremy Pruitt, who kicked a whiteboard and was thus included by rule:

Hey Knoxville... how's it going? #UFvsUT pic.twitter.com/HxplOn0uRQ

— Mike Gillespie (@MikeABCColumbia) September 23, 2018

Washington lost to Cal as a disappointing season became a total failure.

The Huskies are not even making a New Year’s Six bowl in Jake Browning’s senior year, two years after getting to the Playoff with him as a sophomore.

In some corners of the web, faith’s running short in Chris Petersen.

At HardcoreHusky.com, someone started a thread: People you have more faith in than CP, reflecting the fanbase’s growing impatience with Petersen, whose job titles are head coach, Guy Who Won a Million Games at Boise State, and Guy Who Got Washington to the College Football Playoff.

This was the only thing there:

Photo by Stephen Chernin/Getty Images

This was another fan’s measured response:

FUCK THSI PROGRUM IM FUCKING OUT

WE SUCK SND SHOULDNT LOSE TO CAL. WE ARE A LOSER PROGRUM. UPPER CAMPUS DGAF ABOUT WINNING. FIRE PEENERMAN. END TNIS FUCKING TEAM.I WANT DONG JAMES BACK. I WANT TO FUCKING WIN. NO JUAN IN THIS FANBASE HAS DTANDARS EXCEPT FOR THOS SITE. YOU GUYS GET ITZ PETERMAM DOES NOT. FUCK EVERYTHING.

Someone urged this poster to say calm:

Stay positive! Fuck Petersen!

But this blunt response to the loss pretty much summed it up:

We lost to cal

Lol I’m done. Fuck Husky football. Fuck Petersen. Fuck Browning. Fuck Haener. Fuck everything. Roll tide.

Maybe that sounds harsh, but UW fans have wanted Bama since early in 2016:

Settle down, Washington pic.twitter.com/4lnFCfcJ4i

— College Football by SB Nation (@SBNationCFB) September 3, 2016

Miami lost to Boston College, which means it’s time to look at how Hurricanes fans responded to the team’s official Twitter account in real time.

When Miami loses, checking Twitter’s important, because Canes fans are always the most direct in college football. The classic of this genre:

I’m gonna jump off a building

— Heat 3x (@Jbazo5D) September 3, 2018

As Boston College put a thumping on the Canes, fans responded well. Just follow along with various score updates and quarter breaks.

1. After the first Boston College score:

Already with the bs

— Howard Webster (@TbearCane17) October 26, 2018

2. After, um, a Miami score:

Right...embarrassing.

— Carlos Marante (@ItsACanesThing5) October 27, 2018

3. After another BC score:

Is this a retweet?

— Tucker McFall (@RealTuckMcFall) October 26, 2018

4. End of the first quarter!

pic.twitter.com/UqrP2scamn

— Brandon English (@BEnglish007) October 26, 2018

5. After some ostensibly good news?

Way to look at the bright side.

— Brandon English (@BEnglish007) October 27, 2018

6. After an actual good play:

Throw the ball in front of the receiver and it could've been 6

— Christopher Gray (@Barclayallday26) October 27, 2018

7. After a touchdown by Miami:

How on Gods green earth do you have a -5 yard punt return, inside the 10-yard line, with not one but TWO blocks in the back on the return? That's piss poor

— Tucker McFall (@RealTuckMcFall) October 27, 2018

8. After a defensive stop by Miami:

We must be trying to run the clock out....ridiculous

— umcane (@umcane26) October 27, 2018

9. Halftime!

Yes a dogfight with BC! Proud day for the Canes.

— Bryant Jensen (@Bjensen630) October 27, 2018

10. After another good play by Miami’s defense:

BC knows our QB can’t hit the side of a barn further than ten yards so they playing up on the line

— solidlifefitness (@solidlifefitnes) October 27, 2018

11. A little later:

This guy is worse than Jacory Harris

— The Bad Hombre (@jbjammin34) October 27, 2018

12. Things getting desperate:

Get Jimmy Johnson out of retirement

— John Bennett (@DirtyBirdz19) October 27, 2018

13. The Turnover Chain is out! This is good for Miami!

This is the most remedial offense I've ever seen

— The Bad Hombre (@jbjammin34) October 27, 2018

14. End of the third quarter!

Social Media dude.. let Coach know Malik ain't it. Thanks boss.

— Joey Inza (@JoeyInza) October 27, 2018

15. Game over.

Joke.

— Nick Alvarez (@NicksTake22) October 27, 2018

I’ve said it before, but Miami fans are the overprotective relative who will roast you all day but threaten to burn down the house of anyone else who criticizes you.

I respect and fear them in equal measure.

Ultimately, it was best to just step away.

recap, 3 stars, good, bad, and ugly up on https://t.co/W9gmsOyW7d i have nothing else to say. i'm going to play #RDR2 bye.

— StateOfTheU.com (@TheStateOfTheU) October 27, 2018

Florida lost to Georgia, ending the Gators’ dreams of winning the SEC East.

Gators fans were actually pretty reasonable about it. I don’t have jokes. I’m just making the note here so that you know I was as disappointed to learn this as you were. I checked.

In all kinds of weather, y'all, and go Gators pic.twitter.com/jTaaNcXnvS

— BUM CHILLUPS (@edsbs) October 27, 2018

And TCU lost to Kansas, thus earning automatic inclusion as the last team on this list.

Things are dark in Fort Worth.

Is this how Baylor Feels?

For the first time I am embarrassed to wear my TCU gear in public.

The last spot in this list is now just tradition, devoted to any team that might lose to Kansas in a given week.

In Week 3, a Rutgers fan asked after losing to KU: “What stage of grief are you in?”

They have grinded me down into not caring about college football at all just like the Knicks and the Mets have done in basketball and baseball respectively. In a way it’s good. I can enjoy my kids without having to give a hoot about the scores on Saturdays.

Before that, in Week 2, a fan of the MAC’s Central Michigan wrote this:

Fire Bonamego

I know I’ll hear a lot of the usual “it’s too soon in the season” and “MAC play hasn’t even started”, but I’ve been a die-hard supporter of the football program and I EXPECT us to compete against the power teams every year. There’s no reason that we can’t be like Boise State or better. We need to strive to be better and we shouldn’t settle for mediocracy.

Again, that was a MAC fan distraught about losing to a Big 12 team.

Congrats to the Horned Frogs and their fans on joining this prestigious club.

[cliveboney]

hhhhhh

im tryin to get over this & move on w/ my life so maybe making a post abt it will help

so i applied for a zine a while ago (well like. 2 weeks ago) bc i’ve never been part of one & i thought it might be cool (also free copy + $$ right yell heah yeehaw). from the beginning i wasn’t really expecting too much like im just basically like “it won’t hurt to just apply & see what happens”

so i spent a bit of time gathering up some recent pieces to put in my “”portfolio”” so i could send it over because like. applications were open but there was like a week until the deadline to send yours so i took advantage of that to finish up some drawings i’d been working on etc (that’s why i was suddenly super active on my art blog for like a week lmaoo)

Anyway i did all that & put it in my portfolio & then submitted it the day before the deadline & it was all taken care of, time to wait. the next step was for the organizers to post the list of accepted artists, so they did that & i checked & unfortunately i didnt make the cut which is like. cool, fine, i wasn’t expecting much anyway, right? they had a ton of applicants so chances were slim, etc etc

not gonna fuckin lie to myself tho ok i rly did want to be a part of the project & i was pretty proud of the things i had worked on in preparation for the application & yea i did think i had a p decent chance li ke i obvs didn’t know who i was up against & it could’ve totally been a bunch of amazing artists who blew me out of the water but i felt like my stuff was at least. u know. nice to look at 

anyway i didnt get in & i was like rip & the organizers were like “we’re gonna send out emails to everyone including those who weren’t accepted” & i was like ok cool at least this way i’ll know for sure they got my entry

except. i never got an email?? they were like “we’ll send them out today/tomorrow” & it’s been almost a week now & i haven’t gotten anything so now instead of moving on like i’m supposed to be doing i keep thinking about what if my entry didn’t go through, does this mean i actually did have a chance but some random error prevented it from happening? they had so many entries & there was so little time between the deadline for submissions & the announcement of the artist list, did they really look at all the entries, or did they stop before they got to mine? did i fuck this up by waiting too close to the deadline, ensuring that my work never even got considered? but if i had submitted early i wouldn’t have had any examples of my current work to show, and my art has definitely changed since the last time i posted smth i was actually proud of so it wouldn’t have been good to submit at that point anyway

im just fucking overthinking everything & it’s so. ugh. and im literally /literally/ the worst person for doing this, but i did look at some of the accepted artists & i did compare my work to theirs & i absolutely did feel like mine could have easily been accepted over theirs but then again i have the creator’s point of view i dont know what my art actually looks like, maybe it looks like shit maybe it looks dumb as hell with weird proportions & unintentional warping that just makes it so goddamn ugly no one wants to look at it & that’s why all the things im proud of never get reblogged, who knows!! 

i don’t know what the organizers’ criteria for judgement was & i dont know what precisely they were looking for all i know is i didn’t get into the thing i rly wanted to get into & im upset abt it despite my best efforts not to be & i wish i could just move on and try again next time but that was literally the only time i’ve ever seen a call for applications to a zine, i have no idea how tf people actually find these things because the only way i ever find out about them is when they’re done and being advertised to sell so even though i know it’s not the case this felt like a special one-time opportunity which is making the rejection feel even worse & im just overall rly mad abt this bc i went into this so casually & somehow came out so unhappy

i just wish i could forget about it & get on with more important things in my life like hmm maybe the one month i have left to catch up in my classes & not fail them both like uhhh this shitty 90 second animation for this shitty piece of shit class that someone somehow tricked whoever’s in charge into labeling an “animation class” for which neither of those words apply as there is teaching of neither animation nor any other fucking thing in the entire universe going on during what i like to call the Three Hell Hours, each referred to respectively as “i woke up this early and walked this far and climbed this many stairs for This”, “holy shit it’s only 9 am how”, and “just 55 more minutes until i can get the fuck out of this time trap and spend the rest of the day trying to figure out if this moment right now even happened or if it was all a terrible fever dream that i had while really spending the morning actually asleep”

this got away from me, it’s well past midnight, im tired and not happy ok, today was a bad day for no reason, just generally a shit day, i gave a presentation on my half-assed painting project today which was about aromanticism & ended up telling my class im aro which didn’t seem like a big deal at the time & probably isn’t in the long run but for some reason i’m regretting it big time now like i feel like i shouldn’t have been so casual like that with a bunch of strangers & i was trying to explain the project but people were confused bc i forgot that most people don’t even distinguish between romantic/sexual orientation & people know basically nothing abt aromanticism bc nobody ever talks about it except sometimes on the internet and hhhhhh it went fine and all but i feel retroactively uncomfortable at having been so open about myself in front of a bunch of people who Don’t Get It man what a wakeup call after having been online w/ people who do get it for so long

my only consolation is that i have a friend in that class who Gets It & she’s like. my one support in that class, she said i handled it well so that was reassuring at least. but god. i can’t wait for the semester to be over so i never have to go back & face those people again lolllool godddddddd

anyway that’s all the venting i want to do for now lmfao sorry about this i just. hohjhj