#am i avoiding potential rejection yes

[acidremnants]

Tonight i will post about how lonely i am at all times no matter what!

I am always lonely no matter what.

[drdemonprince]

Reading your PDA piece was so eye-opening to me, esp your perspective on how it functions to increase and protect personal agency. I realize that I developed PDA towards flirting dating hookups etc after being SA'd and it's honestly kind of cool that my mind can create a psychic allergic reaction to protect me. Def thought I was just broken 😅

Yes!! PDA is a protective instinct borne out of excessive demand, overwhelm, or repeated boundary violations. I tend to have a reflex to reject and undermine people when they are attempting to get romantically close to me, as well, and it's honestly served as a useful proving ground of a person's patience and respect! These days I'm far from outright mean; I'm just a little bratty and sarcastic, and my most negative evaluations of the world are put on full display, as well as my fiercest inhibitions. These are all real aspects to me that I sometimes struggle with, and it's useful for a potential new partner to see them early on, so that we both can determine if they're truly interested in me and can handle it. It also protects me from a lot of manipulative or boundary-violating people -- which I am notoriously bad at noticing red flags for on my own. PDA can be a friend! Though of course, if you want to be able to get intimate with other people more, you can work to soothe those feelings of insecurity that are driving it, so that it can see you're safe, and settle down a bit. But it's okay if some flare-ups of self-defense are always there!

For those curious, here's the piece:

[lorelune]

lobotomy commission

|| jing yuan x gn!reader || T || love sick hopefully lovers || wc: 3.9k  || ao3 ||

The Xianzhou Alliance has... never allowed lobotomies? Why are you so insistent on receiving one?

(The General, the Divine Foresight.)

minors, antis, and ageless blogs dni

a/n: oh mister general jing yuan you have me so damn heart eyes. here's a lil sweet treat!!!!

CW: fluff, friends to lovers, jing yuan being a bit silly, alcohol consumption, FLUFF, a bit of crack being taken seriously

"Lady Fu, I need to be put down." Your cheek hits the low table. You feel pathetic. It's a Thursday and you're teary-eyed after far too little wine to be in such a state. You sniffle.

"No one is 'putting you down'!" Fu Xuan huffs from the other side, patting your arm. "It's rare that you’re this mopey. What’s troubling you?"

"I am not 'mopey'. I need a lobotomy. Which of the commissions would handle this procedure?"

Lady Fu frowns, clicks her tongue, and sighs your name, “A lobotomy, really?

"Yes, exactly. As soon as possible, preferably.” You down the rest of your cup and restlessly flip your phone screen up. 

"This is particularly pathetic. Stop drinking and wallowing and just tell me what's wrong."

"Fu Xuan, you will scold me." You push yourself up on the table and shake your head. "No, actually, you will fire me. You will send me to my office this very instant, force me to pack up my things, and turn in my permissions. I'll be out of a job. Then, I'll be homeless. then—"

"No, nuh-uh, no more dramatics!" Fu Xuan slaps a hand over your mouth. You're glad you’re seated in a private corner of the bar, as this is a rather pathetic display on both of your parts. "Please just tell me, what’s the matter?”

Your dilemma. 

"I like the General."

Fu Xuan frowns, expression pinched, and her hand falls heavily onto the table. "That... isn’t exactly new information? Even if it’s a... questionable call of taste, the general is handsome. Occasionally charming when he isn’t being an oaf on purpose. I don’t think having a bit of a crush on the Divine Foresight is anything unusual. Half of the population of the Luofu holds the same opinion.

“Okay, but,” you unlock your phone, a ceramic, cat-shaped charm swinging from the vase as you wobble. “What if the General were to return my feelings? And he invited me for a walk and a meal tomorrow evening?”

Fu Xuan's jaw drops. "You're joking."

"I'm not,” you whine and slide your phone across the table.

...

Divine Foresight 🦁:

Are you free tomorrow evening? I know a terrace that has a splendid view of the overlook near the Cinnabar Eyeline. I would be delighted to take you to it and share a meal after, 

Divine Foresight 🦁:

If you'll have me :3c

...

“Oh... wow.”  Fu Xuan looks shocked. It’s hard to shock her, but she does tend to avoid divining the destiny of those she is close to (unless entirely necessary.) Her intuition regardless of mathematics and astral geometry is, however, keen. Yet her eyes are wide and she struggles to gather her words. “What a menace.”

“I know.”

“The General is rarely so forward. I’ve never heard of him being so forward.”

“I know.”

“Except, perhaps—”

“With me?” You rub your cheeks. They’re warm from the wine. 

“Only you. Though this is particularly... telling. I’m sure it’s sincere.”

“I would agree.” Your stomach flutters, and you swallow the feeling down. 

Fu Xuan narrows her eyes and says your name, mouth in a thin line, "You haven't replied."

“And that’s why I need the lobotomy.” You swallow. “I’m going to turn him down.”

“WHAT?!”

You need another drink.

Fu Xuan clearly does not. Her cheeks flush rosy pink as she slaps her hands on the low table. “Why would you reject him? Even if he’s a scoundrel— he is genuine.”

“I know, that’s why I can’t accept his... proposition.”

Despite knowing that Jing Yuan serially denies any potential suitors or daring admirers. You know that it has always been like this— from the time long ago when he first gained rank, to his ‘withered age’ as he self-deprecating refers to himself now. He is always kind about his rejections, you’ve witnessed one or two of them, but he never even entertains the idea of romantic partnership. You’ve never heard him mention it or any desires. 

So, for him to so bluntly ask you on a date—

He couldn’t be more clear with his feelings. 

“You’re a fool.”

“Now, you’re getting it.” You pour yourself another glass of plum wine. Your shared bottle is nearly empty. “This is why I need the lobotomy.”

Fu Xuan watches you drink your glass in a single go. Her brows are pinched and her arms are crossed. Her shoulders sag a moment later.

“I do believe I understand your reasoning, and I don’t think it’s lobotomy-worthy.”

“... High praise.” 

“[Name].”

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry.” You laugh behind your palm. The world feels sticky and bouncy, all at once. You crave the respite of your own bed. “I can’t accept his proposition in the form of a text. I mean, Lady Fu, he's the most powerful man on the Luofu. He is renowned in all fields of battle, strategic, and social graces. He’s kind. He probably like, kisses babies on Sundays at the markets."

"He does not."

"You never know!" You groan. "That's all to say that I won't accept an invitation to a date with this little effort put into it."

"... Because it's a text?"

"Because it's a text." You nod.

Fu Xuan pauses, then sighs. 

“I can’t decide if that makes you a fool or not.” Her hair is frizzing up with the humidity. "Perhaps you have a point, the General is old enough to know and have some decorum when going about these things."

"Maybe he's a virgin? But like, for dating." 

"I'd have to check... certain records. Archives. To confirm or deny that."

You wilt, “He probably isn’t. I’m being foolish.” 

“No, you’re not.” Fu Xuan smooths a hand over your cheek with a frown. 

"Lady Fu," you cry and wish you were at home. In bed. Maybe you should block his number. "You're supposed to say, 'You absolutely are, my most beloved junior, I will schedule your lobotomy and—’"

"No more talk of lobotomies, please."

"Fine, fine." you sigh and finish off your final cup as Lady Fu does as well. "Do you think I'm nuts for turning him down?"

"... No, I don't." Fu Xuan looks shy for a moment. A lot more human than her lofty station implies. "I don't doubt that... Jing Yuan has feelings for you. I see how he looks at you. But he ought to romance you a bit. A text is low effort. You should reply regardless though."

"I'm going to, I just needed some courage. And moral support." You give her a soft smile and tap back into your messages. Fu Xuan practically crawls around the table to your side. She leans her head on your shoulders and her eyes droop. You take a heavy inhale, then exhale, attempt to focus your blurry vision and craft.

...

You:

General, though I'm flatered by your offer, I will need to decline. Though I will ackknowledge what I would imagine (and hope)) to be your genun

You:

geuine

You:

gennuie

You:

genuine

You:

feelings, I cannot accept an invitation in the form of a text message. I must be wooed.

You:

lady Fuu says "if you are capable of such things"

You:

pls don't fire her she's a good boss and so nice

You:

[picture from XX/XX/XXXX @ 2:14 AM]

...

The next morning is hell. Hell. You wished you had undergone your requested lobotomy. It certainly feels like someone has stuck metal rods into your brain, with the migraine pounding the back of your eyes. Maybe a hangover this bad is somewhat equivalent to a lobotomy. Your memory of your night prior is... cloudy, to say the least. Your tongue feels heavy in your mouth as you manage to down a glass of water and a handful of peachy-colored pills. You speed walk to the Divination Commission, shooting Fu Xuan an apologetic “sorry, running late, forgive me 🙏" text. 

You mentally pat your drunk self on the back. After you sent your... rejection (ouch) to the General, you muted his messages and deleted the thread. No evidence, no way to feel awkward about it sober. And no way to dwell on it either. Besides, you hardly remember what you said to him after your last glass of wine. It’s hazy in your memory.

It was... perhaps a foolish way to go about things. You certainly could have approached the General and talked about it, but he sometimes spoke in circles about matters of the heart. Maybe... maybe you felt too fragile to dance that dance, if it came to that. Maybe, you were a bit overwhelmed by his invitation. You know all too well that he does not let himself be pursued. He does not pursue others. 

You feel blind-sided by the whole thing.

But that doesn’t matter— because you cleanly rejected him and your only repercussion is a hangover that you’re sure Fu Xuan is twinning. 

And besides, it’s better that you rejected him. He’s of such a high— highest station. He wouldn’t have time for you, surely. You... have gotten used to your entirely and completely platonic, twice-a-month lunch dates and the occasional star chess lesson (where he never lets you win but you swear you'll give him a run for his money.) But it's fine. You can let go of those things, along with your feelings for the General.

It's better this way.

You think these thoughts somewhat confidently until you arrive at the Divination Commission and find a crowd swarming the central platform under the Matrix of Prescience Ultima. Frowning, you try to weave through the edge of it to your office, where you conveniently have a few nutrition shakes stashed away that you most certainly need. You’re already late and this hangover needs to go. You have a full docket for the day that you need to make fuller so you don’t think about—

You nearly stumble when you hear a rich, familiar, roll of laughter. You freeze, slowly turning to the sound. A crown of fluffy hair peaks above the small crowd, a red ribbon waving in the breeze.

Absolutely fucking not.

You duck, just in case, and try to creep below the crowd. You probably look ridiculous, but you absolutely cannot see Jing Yuan. You can’t. Your poorly-thought out, hungover plan of not caring about the General does somewhat heavily rely on not seeing the man. You trip over over your own feet and barely catch yourself so as to not tumble to the ground.

Jing Yuan calls your name and 

You freeze before jolting to your full height a moment later. The gaggle of your coworkers part enough so that you’re able to see him— lit so well and handsomely in the morning sun, smiling so easily with... perhaps a hint of mischief in the curve of his lips. 

He waves with his free hand, while a massive bouquet is pillowed in the crook of his arm.

The flowers are beautiful— off-ship exotics, clearly. The colors are all bright oranges and vibrant blues. Thinner stems are topped with bundles of white, delicate flowers that break the barrage of colors. They look fresh, like they’d been cut this morning. Fu Xuan stands next to him, clearly hungover herself and close to popping a blood vessel. It’s incredibly rare that the General do anything in the mornings, especially causing a commotion in the Divination Commission. 

Jing Yuan, who is more than likely aware of this, looks entirely unbothered. Actually, he glows as he calls your name, gentle and rich, and the sound of it hits you in the chest, “There you are.”

"Here I am." You're not. You need that lobotomy. You nod to him curtly, "General. Is there something I can help you with today?"

Fu Xuan looks like she’s going to expire right there on the platform. 

Jing Yuan cocks his head knowingly, “There is, yes. I have a rather personal matter to discuss in private with you. Are you available?”

You have things on your schedule. You can make yourself appear busy, if it means not dealing with the General you can’t really hide from and the beautiful bouquet in his arms. “Well—”

“They’re free.” Fu Xuan all but pushes you toward him. You regret covering her tab the night before. “Especially free, since I’ll be rescheduling our weekly meeting to tomorrow.”

“Is that really necessary—?” You laugh and wring your hands. You feel caught in the worst way. “General, will this personal discussion take much time? I am quite busy today—”

Jing Yuan, who has been watching your exchange with Fu Xuan wordlessly, looks a bit... crestfallen. It’s hard to tell on a man who holds himself like the General, but it’s there. A crease between his brows that’s slight, but visible and abnormal. Maybe he’s holding the bouquet a little tighter than he probably thought. There’s a sheen of sweat on his temple that, if asked, he would probably blame on the heat index for the day.

Your words die in your throat as you take him in and force yourself to meet his gaze. Honeyed and sad, a bit like a kicked dog.

“... I suppose, I could arrange a proper appointment with you. Perhaps it was uncouth of me to expect such accommodations to be made for me last minute. I apologize.” You can hear his tone change. It may be imperceptible to someone else, but you notice the shift in him. Gone is the playful lilt and air of mischief, on his a veneer of niceties that you... had forgotten he loses around you. 

Something in your chest aches.

You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Floundering. Jing Yuan adjusts his hold on the bouquet—

“Enough of this.” Lady Fu shakes her head. She shoos a hand toward the lingering onlookers. “Back to work, now. Don’t eavesdrop either. I’ll know if you do.”

(Debatable, but it’s Fu Xuan’s favorite threat.)

Once the crowd has dispersed, she turns toward you too. You needed that lobotomy, like, yesterday. 

“I will make the necessary changes to your schedule so you can speak privately for as long as you need." She points at you, then Jing Yuan. “Sort this.”

The General raises an eyebrow at her. She’s bold to speak in such a way to someone above her own station, but Lady Fu doesn't dare back down. She glares at him, then you, partially covering her mouth to block Jing Yuan’s view before mouthing, “FIX THIS!!!!” 

...

On the way to your office, you walk side by side, in silence. You’re trying to think of the right words to say.

“... Are you sure you have time for this, General?” You ask him, softly. “I don’t mean to ask as a slight— just— I don’t want to inconvenience you is all.”

“Of course.” He replies easily. You turn down the long, quiet corridor that leads to your office. It’s tucked away in a corner of the divination Commission, facing outward toward the Arbor’s stump with tall windows providing a sunlit view. You’re glad you don’t have to look at him as you unlock the door with a thick-looking key. “This is a rather pertinent, time-sensitive matter we’re discussing. My own schedule is not consequential in this case. Haste, moreso.”

You laugh under your breath.

“Great Lan, Qingzu is going to kill me.” You sigh before pushing the door open with a shake of your head. Perhaps a smile curls on your lips. Who’s to say. “Did you at least not leave a pile of paperwork for her to delegate in your stead?”

“And what, diminish the time I have for my afternoon nap with busy work?” Jing Yuan laughs. The sound fills you from the bottom up and you want to choke on it. You tear your gaze away from him. “Such a thing would be unhealthy, you know. I’m an old man.”

“An old man who needs an ample amount of beauty sleep.” You tease him, it’s easy to. You speak before you even have a chance to think about the warm nature of your words. The meaning behind the bouquet in his arms that he still hasn’t given to you. 

Why Jing Yuan is in your office at all. 

“... If this is about my texts my last night—”

“It is, partially.” Jing Yuan hums. “I’m afraid I’ve slighted you, and it’s of the utmost importance I correct my transgression.”

 “That’s— That’s not necessary, General.” Your cheeks burn. 

“It is. Entirely, in fact. Stating my intentions with you over text messages was... a poor choice on my part. I must apologize appropriately, don’t you think? 

“I mean— that’s—” Your words flounder in your mouth. “Kind of you.” 

It is kind of him. He certainly doesn’t need to be here, in your cramped office, with a bouquet that costs close to what you make in a day of work. He doesn’t need to be showing a sincere, lovesick smile as he speaks. He’s showing you a card he’s kept close to his chest. One you, perhaps, guessed he had, but hadn’t intended to ever see.

He presents you with the bouquet, “You said you must be wooed, and I am here to begin that process explicitly.”

"... I said what?" You’re going to burst into flames. 

“I thought you may not recall your exact words. Did you and Lady Fu have a fun night together?” Jing Yuan chuckles, and you flush so hot you feel almost faint. “You said that I must, and I quote, ‘woo you’.” 

He smiles at you, the glint in his eye a bit more mischievous. More knowing. He’s toying with you. 

“I— no— I’m so sorry, General.” You cover your face with your hands and back into your desk. “Forget I said that. Please forget I said anything.”

“Please, use my name.” He corrects, gently. “I’d prefer not to forget. You have a point, I should have stated my intentions clearly and to you in person.”

You peek at him between your fingers. He still holds the bouquet out to you, like he’s trying to lure a cagey cat in for a pet rather than make a confession. You feel out of sorts. Off kilter. That said— it is nice to hear him in person. Your heart has been oscillating between fluttering and pounding. 

Jing Yuan tilts his head sweetly at you. You take the bouquet from him and examine it closer. There’s yellow and lilac pollen dusted on the filaments, fresh and fragrant. 

“Jing Yuan, then.” You reply to him, softly. It’s hardly the first time you’ve called him by his name, rather than a title, but he preens when you speak regardless. “... So, you intend to woo me then?”

“Entirely.” Jing Yuan hums to himself, looking quite proud. “I do fully recant my offer I sent previously. Though I would be happy to lounge with you in the terraces and see some lovely views, I’ve secured a reservation for this evening at a lovely restaurant in the Exalting Sanctum, if you would accompany me.” 

Your stomach flips pleasantly.  You can’t help the little smile that’s twitching over your lips. You take care to not crush the bouquet in your arms, despite the urge to squeeze it to your chest, just to tamp down the thumping of your heart. Stroking your thumb over the silken petal of lush, round-petaled bloom, you let yourself smile. 

You can practically hear Jing Yuan holding his breath. His eyes look hopeful and young. 

“I accept,” you reply. “Consider me wooed.”

“It was that easy?” Jing Yuan’s voice takes that air of smugness that you know is a farce but you still can’t help but to approach him and bat your hands at his chest.

“I already like you, you know,” You laugh. “I was more offended that you wouldn’t face me and tell me your intentions. I hardly know the General to be a coward. I was a bit slighted.”

Jing Yuan catches your wrists in one of his hands and gently holds them against your sternum. His fingers lay over the thump of your heart; you wonder if he can feel it. You feel pleasantly woozy when you meet his eyes and all their intensity. Intention. 

“I apologize.” He speaks smoothly, easily. Perhaps ducking his head down to be closer to your own. “It’s quite difficult to proposition someone so beautiful and kind.”

“Ah, so the General was hiding behind a screen, then?” You laugh over the heat rising in your cheeks. “I’ve never known you to be a coward.”

Jing Yuan hums, and you pop up on the corner of your desk. He’s close enough to feel the heat of him, and see the threading of his uniform and the glitter woven into the rich fabrics.

“Hm, I wouldn’t say it has anything to do with cowardice.” Jing Yuan shakes his head. His breath is warm over your cheeks. “I planned to tell you my intentions of courting you at the Terraces, once you accepted. I, perhaps, was too presumptuous in expecting you to assume beyond my initial ask. I should have been more clear.”

You stifle a laugh and flex your hands, still held in his firm, but kind grip. 

“Jing Yuan, if you continue to speak to me so directly, I’ll demand you take me out now and not this evening.”

“Is that so?”

“Entirely.” You struggle to maintain eye contact and not let your gaze drift down to his lips. “I’m not used to you speaking so clearly, only your riddles.”

“What riddles?” He tilts his head, curly, a sweet smile on his face that is far too mischievous for who he is expected to be.

“Oh, you know—”

“Do I?” Jing Yuan asks. He steps between your thighs, the width of him forcing your legs wider. As if your flush could be any more intense. “You must tell me more over lunch. I’ll send a message to Lady Fu and clear your schedule?”

“... She did say to take as long as we need to sort this,” You soften, a bit intimated, if only for a moment. “Is this sorted?”

Jing Yuan hums, “You did say you were wooed. I’d consider that fairly sorted.”

“And you’ll have me?” You ask him, daring to slide your arms over his shoulders. The contact bubbles up months of tension over Star Chess boards (during games that, perhaps, were not entirely platonic). 

“I’d be honored.” Jing Yuan’s voice sounds sweet, more quiet than you’ve heard before, like it’s just for you to hear. 

There’s an edge to it all still— something raw and new that will need to be tempered. That is the nature of immortality and the relationships and partnerships that come with it. Complexes develop, heal, and grow differently within the self. You’ve already gamed out a few of Jing Yuan’s (a cursed Master who he will only reference in melancholy, unrequited love he was too young for, so many tragedies that he somehow manages to give himself for not preventing). He is perceptive. You’re sure he has put together some of yours as well. 

For now, there’s a promise of good things. There’s the feel of him pressing his lips to yours, gentle but unyielding, strung with a mutual yearning that, in retrospect, would’ve been a shame to crush and hide away. There’s the warmth of him so close, and closer still when you drag him closer by the nape of his neck.

You can feel his grin against your lips, and you mirror it easily.

No riddles, only a fragrant bouquet and intention. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Im not really sure if I am or not so I'm going here.

WIBTA for forcing someone to give me closure?

Hi, I (22NB) have a crush on a guy I'll call C (21M). I've had feelings for him for a very long time even though we don't know each other that well. I was tired of not knowing him and only seeing him every once in a while, so on his birthday (the only day I was sure I could see him).

I told him I liked him, but I didn't know him well, so I was interested in getting to know him better over time. I also understood that we were both busy with college and work, so we might not spend a lot of time together this semester.

He reacted vaguely receptive to my confession. He was nice about it and told me he also wanted to get to know me better.

A few months later and the ambiguity is killing me. He never said he returned or didn't return these feelings, and I don't really understand hints or implied language unless they're obvious. I know I should move on at this point, but I'm stubborn, and the nature of the ambiguity leads me to believe that there might be something more in the future.

What I really need is a direct yes or no, but I'm afraid it'll ruin our friendship. And I'm afraid to let go of our friendship but I really can't ignore these anxious what if's.

The breaking point for me is that today we hung out with his friends, and they started talking about relationships, and he said he'd like to find someone one day. I didn't make eye contact and became quieter afterward. I really dont know what to think, and all I did was feel angry and depressed.

Later, I told him I wanted to talk privately at a later date, but we have not had this talk yet because I don't know what to say and I feel stupid for wanting to say it.

I feel like he doesn't care about my feelings and just wanted to keep being friends by not telling me directly what he felt.

I feel like I'm being an asshole because I am forcing my mental well-being on him for closure and potentially throwing away our friendship because of some feelings I can't tamper down or ignore.

I feel like I'm being a weird, desperate incel but I also feel like he's trying to avoid a conversation with me. He never talks to me first, and even though he is nice to me and kind, I just feel like I don't matter to him at all.

Would I be the asshole for forcing this from him? I feel like the only person who'd really benefit is me. If I am rejected, I can accept that, and if I am not, then I can feel a little more secure with where I stand with him.

If he rejects me, he might lose me as a friend (because I will want time away from him to process it). I can't forsee him returning my feelings because if he wanted to be with me, we would have already been working our to that together by now. Am I just impatient? WIBTA for doing this?

What are these acronyms?

[have-you-seen-my-sanity]

See what happens

Dark!yandere William Afton/Steve Raglan x f!reader

Dead dove do not eat - You'll get exactly what's in the tags!

Tags: Punishment, Smut, failed escape attempt, threats, deep throating

Note: this is based off my yandere William Afton headcannons

You woke up, eyes adjusting to the dim light in the room you were in. Your head ached, propping yourself up on your elbows you quickly realized you were inside a bedroom "What the hell?" you frowned. You stood up and walked towards the window, looking outside you noticed it was already night. Suddenly you heard footsteps approach, so you quickly climbed back into bed. The door opened and you saw William standing in the doorway, "Ah, you're awake. How do you feel, bunny?" he asked and slowly walked towards the bed "William? Where am I?!" you asked still feeling lightheaded from whatever had caused your unconciousness.

William chuckled and gave you a lopsided smile "Well, you're here at my house. I brought you here, so we can be together. Forever." his tone was gentle yet there was a hint of possessiveness behind it. "You see... this could have been avoided, but you simply rejected me after I have done so much for you." William sat down on the edge of the bed as you quickly scooted away.

"You kidnapped me because I rejected you?!" You sneered as William's expression went serious, "Oh yes. But that's not all, you rejected my offer to ask you out and walked out of my office like I was a pile of shit."

"Listen William... I'm sorry.." you replied with fake symphatism "That's not gonna work, sweetheart." He chuckled dryly.

"Please let me go William, we can try it fresh.." you begged but William only shook his head, "Not a chance, honey. You belong to me now." William said in a darker tone as you thought about a way out. And without thinking twice, you grabbed a pillow and pretended to place it in your lap when you suddenly slammed the pillow into his face, catching him off guard as you rushed out of the room.

Hearing William curse, you looked around and spotted the staircase to the first floor and quickly went to run down.

"Come back here!" William called out and quickly emerged from the bedroom and went after you "You better come back here!"

He was fast but you had the head start and ran out of his house, the night breeze hit you as adrenaline started to spread through your system. Instead of just running and screaming for help and potentially revealing your position to William, you dashed behind his house as you heard William run out but stopping infront of his door, looking ahead. William knew you didn't ran straight ahead, all neighbours had small fences so he would saw you climbing over them and the only way for you would be straight. He knew you were still here, he didn't see you running, so he slowly made his way behind his house and onto his backyard. You had to think fast - so you hid inside the little hut since the wooden fences he had were too tall for you to climb up.

"You stupid little brat." William muttered under his breath and walked towards the hut. Meanwhile you looked around and found a closet, went in there and sat down and put all the clothes in there ontop of yourself to prevent being seen instantly. As you heard William's footsteps approach you clamped a hand over your mouth to keep quiet.

The door slowly creaked open and William began searching for you "I know you're in here. Just so you know, when I find you, you're about to get it!" he threatened and after a while of searching, he slowly walked towards the closet and put his hand on the doorknob "This is your last chance to come out, and maybe I'll go easy on you..." William opened the door and frowned when he saw you not inside only seeing the pile of clothes in there.

William growled in frustration and just as he was about to turn around to leave, he paused and thought for a moment.

"Thought you would be a sneaky one, didn't you? Well, think again... many people before you have done this trick to escape me..." William set his eyes on the pile of clothes and abruptly reached inside as you started to squirm as he roughly grabbed you by the hair and revealed you as he yanked your head back and leaned down "Gotcha." he grinned as you tried to get his hand off of your head "Fuck you!" you snapped but it only made him chuckle, "You have such a dirty mouth on you, hm?" William then roughly pulled you out by the hair and dragged you back inside his house.

Once back inside the bedroom, he threw you onto the bed and pulled you in a sitting position on the edge "Don't struggle or this will hurt ten times more." he threatened as he let go of your hair and stepped back.

It's only then you catched a glimpse of the bulge in his pants and your eyes widened in realizasion at what's going to happen. William noticed it and grinned "What? Did you really thought I would punish you by locking you inside a room, hm? Oh no, we will sort this out the right way." William slowly unzipped his pants and stepped closer to you "You have no idea how hard you made me when you ran away, sweetheart. And now we are going to do something about your dirty mouth. Open." he ordered and pulled his big cock out. When you didn't open your mouth willingly, he roughly grabbed your hair and yanked your head back. The second your mouth was open, he rammed his almost too big cock into your mouth making you gag at the sudden intrusion.

William groaned and guided your head to suck him off slowly at first, his tip scratched the back of your throat but with each stroke he penetrated your throat deeper, stretching your throat. As your throat contracted around him he stopped and held your movements, "Ahh, fuck- see where your bratty mouth has gotten you?" William then pushed his cock deeper into your throat, your throat felt so stretched you gagged around him but he didn't stop, he held your head still and thrust slowly. His cock then left your mouth to let you breathe for a moment, but William wasn't done with you "Take off your pants." he ordered and you did.

As soon as your pants and panties were off, William spread your legs and his hand went for your pussy and rubbed your clit. You bit your lip and tried to stay quiet, when a small whine escaped and William smirked, "You like this, don't you? Don't worry, I will make sure to fuck any further escape ideas out of you."

William rolled your shirt up, exposing your stomach and positioned himself between your legs and and his tip pressed against your cunt, you hissed at the size of him but William slowly pushed inside you, stretching your tight hole, he groaned deeply "Fuck, you're so deliciously tight around me... I'm going to stretch you so fucking good, honey." he started moving slowly, the size of him was a little painful but after a moment your body adjusted to his almost too big cock as he started moving faster. You tried to stay quiet but every now and then small moans escaped your mouth making William pount your poor little pussy with his big cock.

"I'm about to cum, honey." he warned as his breath became ragged and his movements even more intense, you felt like his cock would explore your guts and a moment later William pulled out of you and let out a loud groan, thick ropes of hot cum spilled over your stomach.

William's cock grew soft again as he leaned over you, "Are you going to try escaping again? Because if you try that shit again, see what happens." William pulled back and left the bedroom, leaving you there with your thoughts.

[iamnmbr3]

I hope you don’t mind if I bombard you with ask game questions 🫣♥️

May I request Remus Lupin/Severus Snape - 2, 6, 7, 10, 11, 14, 18, 19?

I most certainly do not mind! *Rubs hands together* I love this ask so much. What a disaster ship. I am SO here for it.

2) Which one proposed? Was it grand and public? Discreet and private? Was it expected?

Lupin proposed by mistake by blurting out "marry me" during sex. He tried to take it back which led to a massive fight in which Lupin's self hatred met Snape's insecurities and rejection sensitivity - compounded by their school history - and caused fireworks that culminated in him proposing again, half out of spite and Snape saying yes also out of spite.

6) Who were the first people to find out about the engagement? How did they react?

Voldemort checks Snape's mind, decides this is probably some sort of convoluted revenge plan, and is so sketched by the mess that is Snape's emotions that he nopes tf out. Meanwhile Dumbledore is doing some stealth Legilimency on Lupin because it's a habit of his (though he denies it strenuously) and nearly dies trying not to show any reaction on his face. He believes in the power of love...but not like this. Never have Tom & Albus been so aligned in their feelings about an issue.

7) Who are the maids of honor and/or best men? Why and how were they chosen?

Listen. I can't really see them having best men/maids of honor in most scenarios. But I absolutely insist on it in the following two situations because the absolute chaos entertains me. A) An AU in which this happens while the Marauders and co are still all alive and free and they each have their respective exes, Sirius & Lily, in the role of their best men bc I think it would be hilarious. (And yes it goes just as badly as you'd imagine). Or B) a dark AU in which the role is filled by Fenrir Greyback for Lupin and Lucius for Snape and Voldemort presides (and it's still kind of a mess, but somehow less of a mess than the first scenario).

10) Do they get married through court? Church? Third secret option?

Secret third option - highly traditional wizard style marriage that actually doesn't feel right to either of them because both grew up with way more muggle influence than they let on.

11) When do they get married? Night or day? Any specific reason for either?

In the daylight. Lupin's not into seeing the moon for obvious reasons. Neither is Snape, due to the trauma of almost getting eaten that time in the Shrieking Shack - though he'd never admit it.

14) Do they follow any familiar, cultural, and/or religious traditions at any point of the wedding?

No. Not even basic decorum is respected. The guests are scarred. Is this a revenge thing? A hate thing? A fetish? Are they just like that? Who's getting revenge on who tho is not clear and frankly everyone is too afraid to ask questions.

18) did anyone oppose the marriage? Did they speak then, or did they just forever hold their peace?

If Sirius is invited or knows about it he definitely speaks his mind...a lot. If this takes place after the first wizarding war and the public gets wind of it then 'ex death eater marries werewolf' is not exactly a headline that precedes kind coverage.

19) What was the ceremony like? Any highlights?

Imagine the hilarious crack potential of Lupin inviting his friends, who hate and are hated by Snape. And Snape inviting HIS friends who are all Death Eaters. Everyone is looking daggers at each other across the isle. A full on Death Eater vs Order member brawl is only avoided due to the fact that unbeknownst to them Snape slipped a few drops of Calming Draft into all their drinks.

Send me a ship and a number.

[shittygaypornmagazine]

Maybe atheists from your own religion can talk about it then

https://www.tumblr.com/sophia-epistemia/731237402894581760/avoiding-your-beliefs-real-weak-points

Okay here we go. The pissing on the poor reading comprehension of this website together with the antisemitism is at it again.

First of all, hello! I am a stranger on the internet, who you might know as being Jewish! You don't know shit about my experiences with Judaism, of course, or what kind of Judaism I practice, if I even do, and hence have no understanding of "my own religion", however.

Second, this is the og post:

From its contents you might see that I am requesting ex-christian atheists not to put their religious traumas and biases onto other religions, something which results in nothing but silencing the voices of the people practicing/who practiced said other religions, erasing their unique experiences and trauma, which has nothing to do with Jesus and his followers.

Now, lets examine what you said and the link you sent me.

"Maybe the atheists from your own religion can talk about it then"

You said it. And by it, well... I assume you meant religious trauma in general. Which is, of course, something people who practice/d Judaism can and should talk about. I talk about it! All the time!

But see, the difference between what you're saying and what I'm saying, is that I talk about religious trauma within Judaism. I want to talk about it, but I don't want to hear an ex-christian person's opinions or takes on it. I dont want to hear about how "every religion is a cult actually" from a person who was a part of the religion whose extensive opression and antisemitism shaped mine. They fundamentally will misunderstand me and everything I have to say, as do you. I dont want to have to go through piles of comparisons to Christianity and the trauma it brought people every single time I want to get to the stuff that is relatable to me. Hell, I have trauma from it and I'm not even Christian! So fuck yeah I know about it! What I want to know is my people's stories.

That's where your link comes into play.

It is an amazing post, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It is a true account and critique of Orthodox Judaism from a person that experienced it first hand and I absolutely support it. I wouldn't have a problem with you sending it to me if it was for purely educational reasons, but there is a sort of gotcha in your tone (which might be coming from the dismissive "your religion" remark that is interestingly close to the wording "your kind").

See, my issue is that you have no idea who I am. You don't know that I had my own shitload of experiences with Orthodox Judaism and that it is the reason I currently I am where I am, faith-wise. You don't know the misogyny, homophobia and transphobia I've experienced. You don't know that I am currently actively looking for a Reform Judaism synagogue in the town I am planning to move to because I want to cleanse my experience of Judaism from all those associations. You think that by virtue of me asking ex-christians to stop putting their hands into every single punch bowl at the party, I dismiss the flaws of my bowl and its recipe. And that, is what I have an issue with.

Every religion and a way of practicing it has flaws. What matters is your experience of them. The way people around you treat those flaws. I want to be able to enjoy being Jewish while acknowledging the shitload of stuff that is wrong with it. Me and my partner are writing a whole book whose main character, Leroy, is all about it! About wanting to be understood by the traditions you were brought up with, and the struggle of them potentially rejecting you. I want to hear Jewish voices when I ask about problems related to practicing Judaism. I want to hear Islamic voices when I ask about issues related to practicing Islam. And yes, I want to hear Christian voices when I ask about the issues with practicing Christianity!

What I don't want, however, is someone else's hands in my punch bowl.

And yes, sometimes cross-referencing is very helpful. Sometimes bringing an outsider perspective is very helpful. But the key-word is sometimes. It should be an option, but it should never be the default.

[jekyll-doodles]

🌹(rose) for your lords + 049?

🌹 (rose) - What does your oc find attractive in other people? Are these traits found in their friends and/or romantic partners? Are they found in themselves?

He would never admit it aloud, for fear of forsaking the position he was so generously granted, but deep down Nigredo knew it was true: festivals were more fun before he was a lord. Before his title, he could enjoy himself amongst the common folk while helping his parents supervise his younger siblings. Here however, in the palace crowded by nobility from far and wide, the ever looming pressure to keep up a noble appearance was slowly becoming a lead weight on his worried mind. Especially with his beloved siblings around.

Thankfully, in a lull of their commotion, he was able to sneak off into the courtyard. It was a breath of fresh air and out of view of so many eyes. A quiet moment to rest and compose himself amongst the flowers of the garden. The new lord took a grateful seat on one of the benches and sighed deeply. And for a few minutes, every little worry felt so very far away.

So much so, that Nigredo nearly jumped out of his skin upon being asked if he could be joined on the bench.

Luckily, it had only been Lord Rubedo; who sincerely apologized for startling him whilst skillfully holding back his laughter. And after being granted a seat, he wasted no time making his proposal: asking if Nigredo had gotten a chance to dance yet, and if not, if he would like to dance with him. The offer flattered him, especially from the charming lord, yet was poorly timed. Nigredo sheepishly explained, doing his best to not offend, that he did not wish to dance right now. That he was quite tired and that if he wasn’t so, he would have accepted the gracious offer of course. Rubedo sighed, lamented that the other lords had rejected him as well, and played up his dejection to make Nigredo smile. To help ease his worries.

“What about the, that duchess? She seemed to love the dance, and you.” Nigredo asked. There were too many nobles present to keep track of names; and he’d only seen the pair from across the room. Mostly heard rumors about the two: possible marriage proposals and similar gossip.

“Ah, yes. She is a talented dancer. Elegant, sophisticated, and quite beautiful.” Rubedo paused for a moment to glance at the hall’s entrance. “ I am a fool to turn her down, but our incompatibility would only make us both unhappy.”

He thought it was another joke. “You certainly are. She sounds perfect for you.” The comment got him a doubtful look from his colleague. He was not joking. “ I- I only mean that, she sounds wonderful enough. What other attributes are you seeking?” It was a nice way of asking how ridiculously high his standards were for the women he courted. Nigredo did not wish to assume anything, but he had heard the occasional rumor about his colleague ever since the lord settled into Alagadda. Everyone had.

“Her attributes, or lack thereof, are not the problem, my friend. I adore most who simply have a good sense of humor and open mind. The problem is…” Rubedo suddenly fell silent, his words caught in his throat. His gentle smile faltered briefly, in a way Nigredo had not seen before. He recomposed himself and forced a smile. “Oh, suppose I am simply not ready for marriage yet. I’m not the only one who’s avoided it though!”

Rubedo then went on about the other lords, an attempt to move away from his slip-up. How they did not seek out marriage either, yet still had ideals about potential partners. He noted how Albedo wished to find comfort in a partner that respected their modest and quiet ways, and adored those with honest and gentle hearts. Conversely, Citrinitas would prefer someone that was astute enough to match wits with, yet also merciful and patient. Nigredo was impressed by how well he knew his colleagues.

Rubedo failed to mention that the reason the other lords were not looking for marriage was because they had found their ideal partners, and were married. To each other.

“And then there is you, Lord Nigredo. What are you looking for?”

“M-me?” The sudden attention flustered him. Nigredo had hardly thought about the prospect of marriage. “ Oh, uh, kind and… reasonable?” He shrugged. “ Sensible, maybe?”

His friend chuckled and patted the addled lord on the back. “Someone to keep you grounded, I’m guessing? I think you will find plenty of that nature, my friend.”

[thelostgirl21]

Okay, someone wrote that they thought Jaskier had ADHD in some of my tags, and I've just GOT to address this, because asfjasfljadsflasjd;dlasja;slfjd;as...

@aro-tarot , OMFG YES!!!

As someone with ADHD, I've got such strong ADHD vibes from Jaskier like you wouldn't believe!

(That, plus I tend to headcanon that Jaskier suffers from Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a condition strongly associated with ADHD, but more on that further down...)

I mean he's usually got no freaking impulse control whatsoever, and no filter on his mouth!

And even when he HAS that filter on, and some vague awareness that opening his mouth further and speaking his mind might get him into yet more trouble…

Well, the frustration he feels in the now is apparently so strong that the possibility of having to pay a price later is but a too distant and abstract concept to be enough to put a stop to that mouth!

I mean, that moment right here?

Someone without ADHD would have stopped themselves at "Am I going to say it?" because of the "Yeah, if I antagonize him, he might decide to keep me away from getting on that boat and I'll jeopardize my safety as well as the safety of the people that are currently counting on me," that should normally logically follow...

Someone with a very strong case of ADHD however... Well, they might just have to say it!

Same thing in Season 1 with the elves. Jaskier's bound and tied ,and he just keeps antagonizing them because he's angry, and the need to express his anger somehow screams louder than the punch or the kick he'll be receiving 2 freaking seconds later if he keeps verbally lashing out at them!

Self-soothing and impulse managing are two skills that Jaskier doesn't quite have a good mastery of.

Like, don't let him get his hands on a djinn while heartbroken, drunk, and deeply wounded (because his best and very possibly queerplatonic friend just insulted his singing, while implying that it was likely why his other friend/lover had just left him, no less)... He might just start wishing Valdo Marx dead!

Generally, I'd strongly advise keeping him away from anything that could potentially become a weapon if he's highly emotional.

That's never a good combination.

Jaskier might do something he'll regret, and realize it was awfully dumb and stupid only once he's deeply in trouble, or has finally calmed down.

ADHD isn't a mood disorder, but it's been described as a "failure to self-regulate moods disorder".

Meaning that people with ADHD feel the same emotions as anyone else most of the time (RSD is a bit of an exception; again, more on that later), but they'll just have a harder time avoiding openly expressing them, and stopping themselves from acting upon them.

They can succeed most of the time (thankfully); and I highly suspect that Jaskier might be at his most focused and emotionally measured around Ciri, because he feels responsible for her.

Adults often have this instinct to sacrifice their own needs and wants to give priority to those of children (including sometimes teenagers, and/or grown children they've adopted as part of their family system and are still mentoring through life).

People with ADHD also tend to have a blast playing aunt/uncle, because we can super easily connect with the sense of wonder, excitement, and defiance of authority of children and younger people - be very impulsive and silly with them and act like children and teens ourselves, at times - while still remaining responsible and protective of them when we need to be.

It's like suddenly flipping our "adult switch" on, because we're aware they need us to be the adult.

But fellow adults don't need us to "adult" for their sake.

They typically have their own shit together way better than we do! So, we're just that almost full time impulsive dumb kid that they need to constantly watch out for while around our adult friends.

UNLESS they make it extremely clear to us that they need our help and/or for us to focus. We can "adult" if the stakes are high, and/or they need our support, too.

But that's not our default mode!

We'd rather be chasing butterflies and playing videogames / writing songs (or meta... Meta's good... My brain loves meta because it's always over-analyzing things!), doing whatever keeps us interested and stimulated in the now, than carefully planning things and being responsible.

And there's also that scene where Jaskier is in the Witcher lab with Yennefer, while Ciri's possessed by Voleth Meir (you know... going around killing people, lives are at stake and all that...).

But, since all of this is happening in another room, Jaskier can't quite emotionally connect with the gravity of the situation, so he's eating whatever he finds his hands on while randomly talking about nipples because Yennefer said "oriole", and his brain thought it sounded like "areola" (yeah, our brains are always making a bunch of connections that aren't relevant to the situation)!

Yet, as soon as Yennefer makes it clear that she needs him to focus, he's 100% in the moment with her, and has flipped that "adult switch" on.

We can go there, but it typically requires a strong enough emotional incentive for us to ground ourselves, and it's a state that gets draining when sustained for a too long period of time.

And given how we're at our best when highly stressed, Jaskier's probably the person you want there with you when things start really going to shit!

He's at his best when he's got no idea what he's going to do, and he has to think fast and improvise to respond to whatever is happening in real time.

Oh, and I'm about 99.9% sure that he suffers from rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), too (yeah, we're finally going there).

I discovered what RSD was about 5 years ago, how it tied into my ADHD, and that it had been something that I'd been struggling with (and often doing everything I could to hide) my whole life without really understanding it.

One thing that people with RSD tend to do, sadly, is constantly downplay our own hurt and pretend everything is fine - do our best to keep others constantly entertained and happy with us, even at our own expanse at times - so that they won't perceive us as a burden, and will continue to want to have us around.

Since a part of us is deeply aware that our emotional response to real (and/or even perceived) rejection, and the pain it causes, feels way more intense than it normally should be, we tend to be ashamed of it, and unable to fully discuss those feelings with those we love.

So, even when we do speak up for ourselves, we are afraid that we might be exaggerating, and/or making the issue much bigger than it is.

Thus, we almost regret it right away, and/or feel guilty for it afterwards, and we'll be almost desperate to let our friend "off the hook" as quickly as possible so they'll love us again.

Therefore watching Jaskier's behavior in Season 2, and the way certain characters (except Yennefer, that genuinely surprised me) responded to him, was actually physically painful for me to watch at times.

Some of the most triggering moments for someone with RSD include:

Jaskier brushing off Geralt's sincere apology - attempting to hide the depth of the emotional devastation he'd caused him - to avoid being perceived as being too much trouble and risking abandonment again.

Jaskier humorously pretending that Ciri going past him, as if he didn't exist, didn't hurt, while joking "Like father, like daughter".

Him going "Right, yeah," when Yarpen Zigrin dismisses him - having chosen to turn that constant rejection into some kind of game between them - because it's much easier to be under the illusion that they're just good-naturally teasing each other, than facing the possibly that Yarpen might genuinely consider him an unwanted nuisance he'd gladly do without, and that having excluded him from the word "friend" was 100% done on purpose!

That same little heartbreaking "Right. Yeah" after he tells Lambert "Look at us. Just one big happy family, eh?" and Lambert goes "No." While pushing him out of the way.

Jaskier is a sweet, loving, empathetic, highly sensitive bard that's on the freaking aromantic spectrum!

And aromantics can most definitely love their best friend in the whole wide world with an intensity, a depth, a sincerity, and a level of devotion that can easily match - and perhaps even surpass - any romantic couple.

Heck, I don't consider myself to be quite on the aromantic spectrum (given that I do experience primary romantic attraction towards people), but I also have a tendency to form friendships that are more emotionally (and sometimes physically, and even sexually) intimate than many of the romantic relationships I've had (except, perhaps, my current one, that is definitely on par).

I think the only reason why I've managed to remain with the same romantic partner (that I do consider the romantic love of my life) for 17 years now - and would gladly spend the rest of my life with him - is because of how deeply supportive and respectful he's been of those friendships I have.

I've built my own found family over the years that I wouldn't want to live without. And I've broken up with prior romantic partners that couldn't agree to "share me" with those other people I love (in a non-romantic way, but that doesn't make it any less tangible or real!) without regretting a single thing.

So, I wholeheartedly believe that Jaskier does love Geralt and always has loved him.

And I know that, if I'm right about this, and if Jaskier is indeed prone to RSD, then the level of emotional and physical pain that Geralt's rejection put him through would have been absolutely soul wrenching.

"I've also survived, no thanks to you," sounds just about right.

Jaskier is human, while witches and witchers are frozen in time. He's been loving Geralt and travelling alongside him and singing songs about him for about 20 years.

20 years, in a human life, is a lot of one's life to devote to someone...

Then, the moment that Geralt's romantic love interest (Yennefer) leaves him, he turns on Jaskier and basically tells him that he's brought him nothing but bad luck and misery for two decades, and that what would please him ,above everything else, would be for life to rid him of him!

Why don't you just take a sword and run Jaskier through, Geralt? I think that would have been less painful to watch!

So, I think this is one of the reasons why Season 3 has been so freaking cathartic to watch for me!

I've been literally crying my eyes out each time people made Jaskier feel loved, wanted, said thank you (even Yarpen!!! Freaking Yarpen stopped to thank him, and called him by his preferred name, Jaskier)...

And of course, there's Radovid...

I could go on and on about how good it felt to have a character that finally treats Jaskier with the same care, attention, and empathy that Jaskier offers others...

But, I think one of the things I loved the most, with Radovid, is how Jaskier himself responded to him.

He's not trying to please him, quite the contrary.

When Radovid asks "Have you come to sing us pretty songs?", Jaskier answers "No. I don't do pretty".

And then, when Radovid says that, while he appreciates the information that Jaskier has brought him, all he really wants is a song, Jaskier responds by saying that "he's not really in a singing mood."

Because yes, he's a bard. Yes, he sings about people he's encountered on his travels, and yes, he sings about people he loves...

But he doesn't want to sing "pretty songs" about Witchers, fairytales, heroics and heartbreak for the entertainment of a Prince and his court!

He's not there so that "Prince Radovid" can sing the praises of "Jaskier the Bard" 's triumphant private performance at the palace!

That's not what pleases Jaskier anymore.

I don't think Jaskier feels like he's got anything to prove performance-wise anymore and, sadly, I believe that, instead of giving him a sense of finally being seen and loved - of belonging...

At times, all this singing and performing - often for the benefit of others - has made him feel even more invisible and isolated.

And that's the beauty of him singing "Extraordinary Things", because that song is all about Jaskier.

It's vocally raw, vulnerable, filled with a fragile hope for love and for someone that makes him feel like he is seen for who he is... For someone that can help Jaskier finally believe that who he is is enough.

For someone that makes him feel like he doesn't have to try so hard to pretend to be happy, and fine, and give others what he thinks they want, so that maybe they'll love him (or keep on loving him) back.

Because it's not just Geralt...

Geralt is the one whose rejection hurt Jaskier the most, because he's the one Jaskier has loved and trusted the most...

Geralt is the one that broke something in Jaskier - his ability to feel safe in the belief that his closest friends would never abandon him.

Thanks to Geralt outburst, Jaskier is likely now being cursed with a little voice, in the back of his mind, that will continue to pop up from time to time whenever he feels safe and happy in his relationships, to make him wonder if his friends and family don't secretly wish that they could get rid of him.

Rationally, I'm sure that Jaskier understands that what happened with Geralt was caused by Geralt's own issues, and that his own behavior wasn't the cause of the rejection.

Rationally, I'm sure that he can trust in their relationship, and feel confident in the love they share.

But emotionally? Although trauma can be managed and kept at bay the vast majority of the time, there are always moments where you're bound to be more tired, stressed out, and where you don't always have the energy to push back against all of those nasty voices that wait for you to let your guards down to be heard and make you doubt.

However, besides what specifically happened with Geralt, Jaskier sadly has a very long history of having had to deal with rejections of all kinds, and been made to feel like he was never enough.

Even Valdo's obstinated refusal to learn Jaskier's name is like he's constantly trying to symbolically murder Jaskier by denying him the very right to exist, for fuck's sake!

After watching those scenes, I thought "Yup! It's really no wonder this happened:

So, while having gotten Geralt back - and obviously having built strong emotional ties with Yennefer and Ciri since the end of Season 2 - has likely tremendously helped easing some of the pain rejection has caused Jaskier throughout his life, he still has those moments where it deeply hurts him.

And I think that Geralt knows...

Jaskier might have been trying to hide it - and Geralt might not fully understand why Jaskier was hurt as deeply as he was (I doubt RSD is something that people often talk about in their world) - but he knows that a part of Jaskier still fears being rejected or abandoned again.

He's just being so soft and patient with Jaskier this season; making it immediately clear that he's not angry with Jaskier, and that their relationship is not threatened the moment that he senses his discomfort.

Or, you know, just reassuring him that the separation between them is only temporary, and that he's going to be the first person he comes looking back for as soon as he's done dealing with Rience.

If Jaskier truly is someone that tends to see people as they really are - not as they pretend to be - then it's easy to see why Jaskier did fall in love with Geralt.

That level of perceptiveness is both a gift and a curse for Jaskier, though.

Because when the person you love is set on self-destructing and unable to embrace who they really are, you might find yourself caught in the blast.

Still, when Geralt is allowing himself to be loved, and to openly love people back, he's an absolutely wonderful (platonic, alterous, romantic...) partner to have.

He's shown as someone who is able to not only apologize, but also recognize the impact that his mistakes have had on others, and take full responsibility for them.

Jaskier may have been quick to brush his apology off and pretend that all was good, but Geralt apparently knows better and, more importantly, is showing that the apology was sincere.

He's making efforts to better communicate with Jaskier and he's doing everything he can to not only alleviate some of the pain he's caused him, but to avoid triggering his insecurities.

Sadly, RSD is not something that Geralt alone can fix, especially not when Jaskier has been exposed to a number of different patterns of interpersonal rejections throughout his life.

And, while Jaskier has a tendency to pretend being fine even when he's not, his eyes almost always tell the truth.

Makes you wonder just how emotionally smart and insightful Radovid is...

Because when someone sings to you those lines...

The greatest songs are made up of unspoken words of love Of them I have had enough With you, I have enough With you, I am enough I am, I am enough

Then looks at you with those eyes...

Well, it's rather easy to understand that Jaskier has been made to feel like he wasn't good enough for those he loved, and/or still loves in the past.

And, given the success of "Burn Butcher Burn", I wouldn't put it past Radovid to have guessed that - athough they were back to being close friends - Geralt might have had something to do with the enduring vulnerability and the hurt he saw reflected there...

Thus, leading him to taking an educated guess as to what might have happened, and ask Jaskier "Does the Witcher know how lucky he is to have you?"

Somehow, with that simple question, Radovid has achieved two very important things...

He's just told Jaskier that not only does he, indeed, believe him to be enough, but he would consider himself lucky to have him...

He's just told Jaskier that whatever Geralt might have said or done to make him feel unwanted in the past, it had been wrong.

And, judging by Jaskier's answering smile, our beloved bard just got himself a fresh new (and quite princely) voice in his head to help him drown out the sound of all the other voices that are occasionally trying to convince him that he's a barely tolerable burden to those he loves.

Radovid has thrown just enough shade Geralt's way to avoid insulting their relationship; while at the same time sort of giving Jaskier the permission to mentally go "Ha! See?! There are people that want and love me, and would consider themselves lucky to have me in their lives! God, you used to be such an asshole, Geralt!" should he still need to go there to help himself manage his pain.

As a victim of Geralt's harsh and cruel words, Jaskier is entirely entitled to have moments where he needs to be a bit petty about the way Geralt used to treat him, and to call him the "family goat".

It's a very healthy way of coping with the residual hurt and anger because it puts the blame in the right place (Jaskier didn't do anything to deserve the way he was treated by Geralt nor to provoke that rejection) with just enough humor to keep that pain and resentment from growing into something that could actually be damaging to their relationship.

Radovid is an impressively good and attentive listener - at least as far as Jaskier himself is concerned.

And maybe that's one of the (many) reasons why Radovid asking to borrow Jaskier's lute, and singing the song back to him, touched me as much as it did.

It stood in sharp contrast to people singing Jaskier's songs back to him while thinking it makes THEM special for knowing a few lines! That Jaskier should be grateful to THEM for being fans, supporting his art, etc.

The entitled patrons that believe Jaskier's singing should be about what they love to hear without being really interested in what Jaskier wishes to say.

Like that obnoxious guy at the docks who started singing "The Golden One" with Jaskier, basically going "See! I'm a big fan! That totally makes us buddies now! And, as such, here are my artistic input, so that maybe you can do better next time! You know, it's good, but it's not good enough for me. Here's how you can improve!"

Basically sending Jaskier the message: "You, the artist, the message and the feelings you are trying to convey through your art don't matter. You are but invisible. Sure, you have a name, and now I'm excited at the opportunity of making my friends jealous by saying I've met you! But you're just a tool that I can now use to make myself more important and interesting to others! Your job is to stay in the shadow of your songs! Your job is to make me happy, to entertain me, to please me, to sing what I want to hear the way I wish I could hear it and to make your art all about me."

Instead, Radovid simply borrows Jaskier's lute, and humbly starts playing the song with a sense of reverence, gratitude, respect, and desire to offer Jaskier something in return for the gift he's offered him by sharing a part of himself with him through his song.

Radovid said that he had long wanted to meet Jaskier in person and presented himself as someone that is a fan of his songs, but that's because they fascinate him.

He genuinely cares about what Jaskier has to say and communicate to others (and/or about others) through them, not about what he wants to hear.

In a world where Jaskier has had to constantly fight to fit in, where he's often made to feel like he's "barely tolerated" (and it usually takes a long time for people to get to genuinely appreciate him, and openly love him back the way he loves them)...

Radovid is someone that comes along showing him that love is not supposed to be earned.

Love is a gift. You love people for who they are, not for what they can do for you.

And what Radovid heard, through those songs, was something so special, intriguing, and irresistible to him that his own response was a genuine desire to get to know the man behind the art.

He tells Jaskier that the unique way he sees the world, and his need to express it, does not make him hypersensitive or annoying - it makes him special.

I don't think the hurt in Jaskier's eyes will ever 100% go away, and that his RSD can ever be completely resolved, either...

But it doesn't need to, because it can be managed and shouldn't get in the way of one's ability to experience joy and happiness, too.

Pain is a natural and healthy part of one's life, as long as it doesn't stand in the way of everything else - as long as there's balance, and room for healing whenever it comes along.

As as long as Jaskier's found family continues to love and accept him the way he is - to let him know that he's an important part of their lives - I believe Jaskier's going to be fine. REALLY fine...

Even the moments when he's hurting are going to be fine, because that's not all there is, and he's got people loving him and offering comfort.

And maybe I'm too hopeful about this, but I think there's most definitely hope for Radovid and Jaskier to make a relationship work between them, too.

Even if it turns out to be a somewhat unconventional one, and completely different from what people might have in mind when they think of a classic "romantic couple", they can find a way to make it work for them.

My advice to them would be to leave all expectations and social conventions at the door, allow themselves to be creative in "loving outside the box", and to build something together that addresses most of their respective needs, while acknowledging and respecting the other responsibilities and emotional attachments each other have.

Oddly enough, Jaskier is one of the few people that I could imagine clearly understanding that Radovid's existence is a bit of a tragedy where he'll never be free to fully belong to himself.

In the event of his brother's untimely death (for example), should Radovid decide to give up his claim to the throne to live a less complicated life, any Redanian ruler could still try to have him assassinated "just in case" he was to change his mind, and later come challenge them.

The palace is a golden cage, and I think Jaskier would not hold it against Radovid, or grow resentful towards him, that he would only be able to offer Jaskier what he is actually free to give without risking both their lives in the process.

He might grow frustrated with all the circumstances that are creating some significant challenges to their relationship, but I could imagine Jaskier wishing to face those as partners, and avoiding to be angry at Radovid for what he can't magically change.

This is where Jaskier's ADHD brain might become an asset by helping him make unique connections, and find creative solutions to allow Jaskier to - as Batey suggested - still find the light in the darkest of places for them two.

So yeah, I definitely tend to headcanon Jaskier as having ADHD (with some significant amount of RSD), too.

[icantthinkyandere]

I am not sure if I can ask this but hello nice to meet ya, can I send an ask of yandere Lan Ling.

I am writing this assuming that the reader is the master of Chaldea.

{Lan Ling}

Lan Ling is definitely one of the best yanderes to have. He is a gentleman and would never want to upset his partner in any way. That goes for harming other servants as well. Unless they're servants with a past of being evil and are still acting cruel.

He would hold off on confessing any feelings until he knows that his confession is good enough.

One of the reasons why he'd be so hesitant to confess is because he's unsure whether or they'd prefer if he wore his mask or not. He knows the master understands that his mask brings him comfort, but he doesn't want them to see him as weird.

He often follows the master around Chaldea to find out their favorite foods and practice making them so he can prepare dinner for when he confesses. He'd also listen in conversations when they're talking about their interests to study them for conversations during dinner.

Once he's finally ready for dinner, he doesn't wear his mask even with how nervous he feels being alone with the master.

After that, it just depends on if they agree to being in a relationship with him or not.

If yes, he'll thank them for giving him a chance before politely kissing the back of their hand.

Now, he'll take every opportunity to be around them. Asking them to ride horses with him, eating every meal together, and slowly starting to share a room together.

He tries not to worry about the relationship or be jealous of other servants. But some of them don't take the hint that the master is taken. Since he doesn't want to get into a fight that would potentially upset his new partner. He does the sensible thing and slowly isolates them from other servants/Chaldea staff.

If they were to reject him, he would be heartbroken. He doesn't think it's their fault, though. It's his, and he needs to do more research on them and what they want.

At first, after the rejection, he would avoid them and try to forget about his feelings. But it's hard when they're the only master around. So, he has to them often and watch them get along with other servant.

Following them, he writes down everything they take interest in. He gets to the point where he'll break into their room to see if there's anything they're keeping from everyone.

He does get slightly jealous when they're around other servants. Especially when they're getting along. Since most servants don't wear masks regularly like him, he'll start to wonder if that's the cause.

[ainsellshadewalker]

Minor update to the X-Men Evolution Wings of Fire-fied AU: I am scrapping (for now) making it the Dark AU version. I have ideas, but I really want to fledge out with a different story first, then maybe work my way back around to a WoF version of the Dark AU.

So, um, is it okay if I info dump a few ideas + minor story plots + scenes I really really want in my fic/au at some point? I shall assume yes, but don't worry, you don't need to understand the book plots at all! You can look up a picture of the dragon tribes, but seeing as the mutants are hybrids, well, they'll be a bit different. Let's dive in-

Plot and AU Ideas:

#1 • There is the One of Us AU, or regular gradual platonic yandere X-Men Evolution au, centered around the background tension and dread, but with no extra add-ons, just a pretty standard au or plot, I guess, with Reader (Bee) being a new mutant, but who appears as a HiveWing and seems to initially have no powers at all...

#2 • There is the Propehcy AU, where the teen are part of some vision and prophecy that can either save the world or end it, but it woukd be hard to fit everyone in, but I do like small prophecies...

#3 • A Secret Animus AU, where Reader (Bee) has not an animus-like ability, but full animus magic, the most rare mutation of all... in this Reader is more nervous, fidgety, and avoidant, but it is a bit more stressful and tense than the other options...

#4 • A Neglect au, where Reader (Bee), due to appearing seemingly normal and average, is shunned by the mutants, or at best forgotten about, and Reader eventually ends up hurt or captured, and possibly almost dies... but is saved at the last minute, and now the others have to try and take care of them and make up for lost time, while Reader wants to act like nothing happened and go back to the regular status quo...

Story Plots:

• possibly stopping or freeing Dragon! Apocalypse or using his animus scroll (magic scroll of limitless potential spells)

• Reader finding out they're related to someone

• Reader possibly having a darker past than everyone thinks (such as Reader used to work for a villain/evil dragon; or Reader was rejected by their family for being a mutant, despite not appearing like one; Reader almost dying when they were really young; or maybe all three, who knows)

• Reader trying to find perfect gifts or make perfect gifts for everyone, and the teens and adults do the same thing (a seasonal story, possibly as an extra or it's own stand-alone oneshot) (this one woukd be very sweet, with a bit of silliness)

• Prinicpal/Headmaster Kelly (he's going to be a SeaWing named Kelp), slowly realizing that he's wrong to hate mutants, and that groups like the Weapon X Program (called Wing X Program) and the MRD aren't good for everyone, and kinda has a talk and understanding with Xavier (because I know he's a squishy jerk, but I want to use 97's character growth on this version of him, so at least one normal dragons doesn't stay a jerk)

• Dragonets! Jean and Scott gradually getting together, and it's sappy and sweet and has a touch of hurt/comfort (they deserve better, let these two be happy)

Small Scenes (I just want these to be canon!):

• Reader hunting like a heron, then teaching Todd or Lance how to do it, too (they use their wings to create shadows, then stab the fish when they swim below it)

• The teens (dragonets) trying to cook, but most of then have never used fire, let alone a pan or pot or seasoning

• Reader finding one of the teens sleeping with them because of a nightmare, so they just let them stay, putting a blanket over them, then going back to sleep

• A beach day (the kids and adults just play in the sand and lazily swim around and catch some crabs and seagulls and laugh together) (they need to be found family)

• Reader crying, and someone comforting them

Well. This is all i have so far. I need more sleep. I hope you are doing well, ainsell! Please get some rest, drink some water, and have a snack.

Those are all wonderful ideas! Something you can do to tie in multiple points, Apocalypse sending visions to Bee to release him. They're not demanding though and he seems to actually care and acts very fatherly and protective over them. Something bee doesn't have from the others because they're just not as special as their pack. Except, the reason for apocalypse to be so doting is the fact that Bee is his child who's mutation is reincarnation. He doesn't know why they don't remember as much as when they used to reincarnate he sees that there are some memories but blames the xmen and brotherhood for causing so much distress in Bee that they've forgotten they were ever loved. And maybe when Bee finally gives in they've grown cold and uncaring to the world, so instead of immediately causing the end of humankind, his main goal because he knows no other way to save mutantkind, Apocalypse bonds with Bee and teaches them that there is still something to love in the world. Seeing that the person who's supposed to know only destruction and violence according to myth treat his young so carefully truly wanting them to heal and be as they are causes the xmen and brotherhood to rethink their behavior. Which leads to them somehow separating Bee from Apocalypse to talk but Bee doesn't want to talk and tries to leave. Cue Stryker seeing an opportunity taking Bee and setting up for an end where you decide who gets custody!

I rambled a bit sorry but you have so many good ideas to bounce off that something always grows

[lmilps]

Bleach Rose x Reader

A/N: Hello, this is my first attempt at writing fanfiction. But I wanted to give it a go, because I personally love this character. Please let me know what you think! Enjoy~ 

----------

You were doing well in the division going from an unranked officer to the seventh seat of your division.  You got along with most of your squad members and you tried not to bring to much attention to yourself. Life was going well aside from the crush you had on your captain, but you decided that wasn't terribly important. Sure, his looks were one thing to gush over. But his personality was the thing that swept you off your feet. While he could be a bit of a drama queen from time to time, you got to see the raw passion he had for the squad whilst he helped them on their feet. However Captain Otoribashi was a very observant man, and the thought of him finding out about your feelings caused you to avoid him.

You were sucked out of your thoughts when you reached your destination. Your heart was beating fast. you took a deep breath to calm your nerves and knocked on the door. You took a step back as the door opened. Lieutenant Kira opened the door, he had a soft smile as he greeted you.

"Are those from the sixth? Give them here." You pass the stack of paper to him as he starts flicking through it. You glance at the rest of the office while you wait to be dismissed. There were a couple of musical instruments around the room, along with some items from the world of the living. This was also the doing of your captain. 

 "Well, if it isn't seventh seat (name)! How are you my dear." speaking of the devil, there was captain in the flesh. You turned around to face him and gave him a bow. You took note of the pet name. The Captain had a willowy frame. and was fairly boney.  Wavy gold locks spilled down to his shoulders partially covering his face. His eyes were a dark hue of purple as they looked at you. "Captain Otoribashi, I am well. And you sir?" you replied, a little flustered at his sudden appearance.

"I'm fantastic. It's a shame I don't see you more often, I enjoy your presence. Are you available for a chat?" His smile was warm and inviting.

 "It would be an honour sir, but unfortunately I am a bit busy" You declined. Honestly, you did not think your heart could take being around him for so long.  You were sure he'd be able to see through you and find out about your feelings for him. And you couldn't take the embarrassment that was sure to follow with his rejection. He thought for a moment and then asked something else.

"Are you busy after work?"

 "No sir" You began to fidget a little under his gaze.

"Great! Then how about when you finish up for the day, you come back to my office and we can talk.  I'd like to catch up with you" He proposed, his smile gave you butterflies.

 "Yes sir" You nodded. 

 "Brilliant!" He then walked over to his desk and took a seat and began to do his paper work. Lieutenant Kira then looked at you.

 "Okay (name), there's nothing else I need you to do for me. You can go" He sat back down.

"Thank you Lieutenant" You bowed to the pair and began to exit. The lieutenant nodded in response.

 "See you later my dear" The captain gave you a small wave as you left.  Surely he had pet names for the rest of the squad. Right? ~~~~

As hard as you tried to do your paperwork, you just couldn't focus.  You were so nervous about later. Had he decided that he saw more potential in someone else and was going to have you demoted?  Did you make a grave error on a mission and he was going to have you fired? Or worse. Did your captain already know about your feelings and was going to have you transferred to another squad? The uncertainty was almost to much to bear! Time seemed to be going faster and faster and there was nothing you could do to slow it down.

When it was five, you decided you should bite the bullet and go to the captain's office. It's not like you were getting any work done anyway. He didn't look specifically upset when he asked to meet with you so surely it couldn't be that bad.  At least that's what you told yourself. Most of the squad members had already taken their leave for the day leaving the office empty and quiet. At least if one of the possibilities you'd thought of earlier were to happen, no one would see you leave the office for the last time.  An odd thought, but it brought you comfort. 

For the second time that day, you found yourself at the door of the captain's office. Preparing yourself for the worst, you knocked on the door. "You may enter." you heard your captain from the other side of the door.  You entered his office and shut the door behind you. Your captain was sitting at his desk, smiling at you. Putting away the paperwork and pens, he motioned for you to take a seat in front of his desk. You sat into the chair, sinking a little. Captain Otoribashi looked back at you and rested his head on his palm.  "Did you finish your business?" 

"Not really." you felt  a little embarrassed for not finishing your work.

"Oh? that's no good, why not?" He looked a little concerned.

"I got distracted with my thoughts" you admitted. 

"Would you like to talk about them?" he offered, seeming genuinely worried. 

"Honestly, I was a little worried about meeting with you sir." He nodded in response, letting you continue. " I never had to have meetings with the previous captain, and this is the first time you've asked to see me. So it made me think about my possible future here at the third." 

"I can tell you right now, this meeting is nothing negative. You are very efficient at your work, and I have heard nothing but good things from you from Lieutenant Kira." He smiled. You relaxed a little, and he continued. "I had a question for you though." 

"Yes sir?" you answered, preparing yourself. 

"Why are you avoiding me?" His tone became a bit more serious. You felt you heart sink, you had no idea how to even begin to respond. So you tried to improvise.

"It isn't intentional sir, I just- " He put a hand up to stop you.

"(name)" His voice became a little softer. " I'm not upset, I'm just concerned. I care about you like I do with the rest of my squad. I just want to make sure you're okay with me, and I haven't done anything to make you upset." 

"You haven't done anything sir." you looked at the ground. "I just- It's stupid" He frowned a little. 

"Your feelings aren't stupid." He states. "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. Just know my door is always open." 

"Okay." You let out a sigh. Might as well get this over and done with. He looked at you curiously. You looked up at him. "Sir, over these past few months I've caught feelings for you."  His eyes widen a little bit, but doesn't say anything. "At first, I thought it was just your looks that made me fall. But I love watching you interact with the people around you. The way you string words together sounds like poetry, and you do it effortlessly.  I can feel the affection you have for this division, for each of its members. How gentle and caring you are to us all, willing to listen to our struggles." You take a deep breath. "And I don't know if it's just the fact that people don't normally treat me this way, but I can't get enough of you. So, I started to avoid you because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." You look at your shoes, a little nervous to how he'll take this information. There was shuffling from his side of the desk. His index finger tilting your head up until your eyes met.  He softly smiled at you.

"Please look at me, I like looking at your eyes." His voice was soft. "They're so pretty, I could get lost in them so easily." He paused for a moment. "You know (name), I don't leave my door open for anyone-" He moved his hand to caress your cheek. "-But I happen to favour you over the other members. Whilst it might be bad for me to show bias, I can't seem to help myself when it comes to you." The hand on your cheek moved to hold your hand and guided you up. He brought your hand up to his lips and placed a kiss against it. Your breath hitched a little. "I've happened to catch feelings for you too. So, if you're interested, I'd like to take you out on a date." He looked at you. 

"I think I'd like that" You were a little bit in shock at his confession. 

"And I'd like to trouble you with one more thing" He brought his other hand up and gently grabbed your chin with his index finger and thumb. He paused. "Could I please kiss you?" You nodded. He closed the gap between you two and kissed you.  His lips were soft as he delicately moved his lips against yours. He smelled like vanilla.  When he pulled away he didn't say anything and he just admired you. 

"Captain-" He put his thumb over your lips. 

"How about you call me Rose? I think 'Captain' is a little too formal, coming from you." He winked. 

"Rose" You echoed, testing the name. 

"Yes, my dear?" 

"I like you, a lot." 

"And l like you too"

[dreamwritesimagines]

I think there's some untapped potential between Clover and Anthony.

He wants to marry for duty and heirs with no love, and she wants riches and solitude without love.

The only bad thing about it is that Anthony would take forever to die so she wouldn't go there.

but you can't tell me that Anthony wouldn't immediately welcome Teddy into the family

that if her parents ever showed up again, he wouldn't immediately get rid of them

that even if he fell in love or not, Anthony protects his family, no matter what.

I think it would be something Clover would appreciate and these are the thoughts that keep Benedict up at night because Anthony asked her to dance and he SWEARS, he saw her crack a smile at something Anthony said.

He fucking hates this family, Benedict decides, specially his older brother who has just as dry a humor as her and that she would definitely enjoy.

Nah but fr, Anthony and Clover would make such a good friendship, just the most levelheaded in a ton full of dreamers and idealists, Anthony would silently pass her his flask of whisky after yet another man tried to propose, Clover would tell him to ask her to dance when he's being swarmed by ladies and their mothers and Anthony could kiss her if Benedict weren't glaring at him. Teddy gets hurt and insulted by an older Lord for his background and Anthony protects him like he is his own little brother.

ANTHONY AND CLOVER FRIENDSHIP RIGHTS

I AM SCREAMING HERE OMG YES?! 😱😍

I have so much to say about this aaaaaa my love, you're amazing! 😍😍😍 Thank you so so much for this! 😍🥰❤️

Okay so first of all -and I think this is very interesting- Clover and Anthony are, in theory, perfect for each other😂 Anthony believed he would die young (in the books) after his father's death, and just like you said, he wants to marry for duty and heirs with no love, and Clover wants a husband that will die fast and refuses to marry for love, she wants her solitude❤️ They make perfect sense together because they are, in a way, each other's counterparts 😂

(Did I just get inspiration for a Clover/Anthony AU where they fall in love after getting married yes I did but wait, back to our topic)

I think it would be something Clover would appreciate and these are the thoughts that keep Benedict up at night because Anthony asked her to dance and he SWEARS, he saw her crack a smile at something Anthony said. THIS WOULD DEFINITELY HAPPEN! 😱❤️

I think Benedict is incredibly observant and he would totally see that 😂 Like, he would want to ask Anthony what they talked about during their dance and would manage to control himself, but he would one hundred percent notice even the tiniest details 😂

I agree completely, I think they would make great friends! 😂 Like, at first there'd be some ego clash because they both have some similarities when it comes to that but once they get past that, they would be very close friends! ❤️ Like, they would be dancing just to save each other from unwanted dance partners, and Clover would be like,

"So who is it this time?"

"Hm?"

"What lady was trying so hard to get your attention?"

"Lady Abigail."

"Ah, I was wondering why she has been glaring at me since the beginning of the dance."

"She's glaring at you?"

"No worries, my glare is much more frightening than hers. Are you sure you wish to reject her? It'd do you well to be tormented throughout your marriage with mediocre company and complete arrogance about piano skills."

"Mm, just what I'm looking for in matrimony."

"Such a shame I got in between such wonderful courtship."

"Fate I would say. How about you? Which suitor are we avoiding tonight?"

"Ugh, Lord Brumley."

"And you had the audacity to call my potential dance partner mediocre company?"

"At least Lady Abigail would stop talking while she's playing the piano, Lord Brumley does not even have that."

"My brother doesn't talk while he's painting by the way."

"Don't."

"Just expressing a fact."

"Mm hm, of course you are."

[blueboyluca]

BH315: Hidden Potential

I didn’t get that much out of Hidden Potential. I think overall I found it very concept-heavy without a lot of practical solutions. It just felt quite vague. What I’ve been struggling with this whole time is pinpointing specifics. I didn’t find the prompts or exercises in this course did a lot to help me figure this out. For example, in one of the lectures Sarah wrote “How can you help your dog to feel a more positive CER, if his current one is negative?” and I found this frustrating because I thought the point of the course was to help me figure out how to foster a more positive CER.

Here are my current notes on some of the lectures but not the ones I felt were impractical. I would like to try some of the games more and come back to this for a second evaluation. I will also work through my new course, BH265: Strategies for Training and Competing the Sensitive Dog, and see how it compares.

1.1 Assignment: Never Wrong/Sometimes More Right

I did a session or two of this, but I could try doing it again. I struggle with these types of things as value of rewards is so hard to figure out with Marceline. If one food is of lesser value she will usually just reject it outright, so this kind of game is difficult.

1.2 Information Gathering: Identifying Issues

Does your dog approach other dogs when out in the world, or avoid them? Yes, she will approach other dogs but can get intimidated by large dogs.

Is your dog hyper social with people, wanting to jump on them, or would he rather not be greeted by your friends? She likes people fine, as long as they respect her size. She will beg for treats from people she knows.

Do loud noises bother your dog? A bit, not to an extreme extent.

What about crowds? She hasn’t been in large crowds before.

2.1 Assignment: The Consent Signal

I do a test with tug first, then do a warm up using sitting by my side, hand touch and pop ups. I might try to introduce something else like eye contact. I also have a verbal “are you ready?” that she can respond to. She has established consent signals for other behaviours.

2.2 Talking Point: Accepting "No"

I recognise that I need to do this more. I have a tendency to try again when she says no to something. I think there are some instances where asking more than once is fair, like if she wants to go out, because she shows other signs of wanting to consent. In those cases I try to remove the barriers that are stopping her saying “yes”. But during a session, I think I need to stop and put her up if she is saying a clear “no”.

2.3 Information Gathering: Operant Counterconditioning

I honestly have no idea what to do for this one. None of the examples were applicable and I can’t easily identify one single, specific thing I could improve with counterconditioning. That’s not to say there isn’t something, just that I can’t think of it.

2.4 Assignment: Ring-Sustainable Reinforcement

I have created a “stash” marker cue and have incorporated this into our training.

3.1 Assignment: Using an Opt-Out Signal/Safe Space

I didn’t even try this because I struggled to think of an item that would be neutral value that she would still like to chew. I could try it with a supermarket style chew I guess. I also struggle with set-ups like this because in reality this isn’t what my sessions look like. I don’t know if that says something bad about my training but I found it hard to conceptualise putting this into action practically. When Marceline opts out, she doesn’t go to a base, she prefers to engage with the environment. She would not choose to be put up. But I guess I could improve this in general by rewarding her with something more like a chew when she is at her station.

3.2 Talking Point: Reading Opt-Out Signs

It’s definitely clear that I am still not responding appropriately to opt-out signs. I need to figure out a better response to these signs.

4.2 Assignment: Energiser Patterns

I do this a bit, but I could certainly incorporate more energising pattern games into my warmups.

4.3 Talking Point: What IS Reinforcement?

What reinforcement scenarios are working for you? Generally I start with tug, switch to food from hand to warm up and then use a lotus ball to reinforce a sequence

Which ones are not? I think food from hand within a sequence is not working. I think I should switch to a food toss marker if I need to re-engage in the middle.

How can you add more sustainable reinforcement strategies to your training? I’m still trying to incorporate a stash cue as a major reinforcement strategy. I think a lotus ball is pretty sustainable, but food toss and food from hand are not.

4.4 Information Gathering: Hidden Aversives

Of the four things Sarah describes (confusion, pain, sensory input, fear and anxiety) I think the relevant one is confusion. I wonder if part of the problem is that I think things are trained better than they actually are?

5.3 Talking Point: A Culture of Choice

I think that I could offer more choices for Marceline. I keep things varied in her life, but I rarely present her with a clear choice of one thing or another.

6.3 Talking Point: Honouring the Dog

I think I should incorporate more solo enrichment time for her in general, rather than being with Luca or doing agility. Marceline highly values opportunities to sniff, roll and swim. I think I could offer her more of those opportunities on her own.

[colormepurplex2]

More, more, more 👀

On weird questions 5, 6 and 11 PLIZ :3

More, more, more! Yes! Here, here, here 💜

Weird Questions For Writers:

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true? Oh...umm...👀 the first thing that comes to mind is not starting a fic until I have a title set for it. I know that might seem counterintuitive to some, but I need it before I can begin otherwise, to me, the story has no foundation and can easily fall apart. However, I am okay with the title changing, if the story and writing process take me in a different direction than the original title was directing me. For instance, Chasing Shadows was originally titled Shot In The Dark, but as the story developed, the title did, too.

Another one is that I can't have a character with a name that is the same as someone I know or a family member. I work so hard on names sometimes just so I can avoid a name that reminds me of someone. Unless it's the name of a villain or something, I'm working on a fic right now where a character is named Chaddick, which is a play on the name Chad + dick (all Chads that I know are dicks) and even though I know people named Chad, I'm okay with using the name because it holds more significance for my story than the person in real life holds in my life, if that makes sense? I even have a hard time reading stories that use people in my family or close friends' names. I tried reading a story a few months ago where one of the main male characters had the same name as my kiddo and I ended up having to DNF it simply because I couldn't read that name without thinking about my kid.

6. What is your darkest fear about writing? My darkest fear about writing? I think it would be acceptable to say something like rejection or low reception...but, when I honestly think about it, I believe the thing I fear the most is becoming one of those writers that don't care about sensitivities or growth. I've always tried to make it a point to not write about potentially discriminating things. I purposely try not to include a physical description or use those physically descriptive words when I write a reader insert story. At the same time, I also try to be informed on social issues and keep those in mind when writing as well. I don't want to ever come off as offensive, even if it's accidental or not intentional. The worst thing I could do as a writer is make someone uncomfortable or feel out of place in my works. It's not always been easy, and I know I've made missteps that I've learned from...but, that's my darkest fear, becoming blind to those things I've worked so hard to open my eyes to. As someone who has fought their own battles in similar areas, I understand just how important being open to learning, change, and growth is.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve? This...makes me sad haha. I have done it...sort of. I never truly 'kill' the darling. I will take whatever bit of the story that needs to come out/be killed and I'll drop it into another doc. I hate the idea of writing being completely deleted, so I'll just hang on to it until the time is right and introduce it in another story or a different place of the one it was removed from. Of course, minor changes might be necessary for the darling, but it'll never truly die...even if it lives inside my WIP ideas folder for the rest of its life 👀

These questions were so good, made me really think. There are more if you're interested 💜

[angara-mfrp]

Hi again, anon. I'm putting this under a readmore simply because in answering your question, because it required somewhat of a lengthy explanation.

We do not allow character faceclaims. Not of ANY character, including banned ones. OCs who wish to use the faceclaim of the banned characters would be rejected immediately, due to the fact that we do not wish for anyone to circumvent the rule of banned characters, and for characters to not recognize an OC for the character in their canon.

I am not saying that OCs aren't allowed to be amalgamations of traits that could potentially be possessed by banned characters. You could make a fallen angel OC without them being Belial, you could have a middle aged crime boss who isn't Mother, a salaryman looking for a quiet life that isn't Yoshikage Kira, and so on.

As you can see above, the troubling and problematic traits were not included. Such traits are heavily discussed in them; we are unable to see how they may be separated. I'd also like to point out our banned character list is meant for the safety of RPers. We have our reasons for disallowing them, by which their content and backstory is very triggering or uncomfortable to many people, and we find that such traits cannot be detached from said characters without changing them entirely.

I am unsure what you mean by sanitization in this regard. Yes, we are a post-apocalyptic group. However, this is still an RP group, and the setting does not exempt the group from banning such triggering and problematic content. As mods, we wish for RPers to be able to RP safely and happily, and that includes us ensuring that certain characters are left out, and certain topics are banned. If by sanitization you mean the lack of villains, by all means, do try to RP one. We have a plethora of villains that are accepted within the group, the ones that are banned are due to the content that cannot be separated from them as characters.

At the end of the day, the people writing these fictional characters are human beings who have lived their lives and experienced good things as well as bad. We want to create a place where people can unwind and feel comfortable, and that means avoiding certain topics and content. I'm sure there are fans of true crime, fictional crime, and certain types of horror in this group. You may enjoy what you wish to enjoy, and many of us consume media critically. However, that does not exempt the RP group from banning such content, and as mods, to create a safe environment for RPers and mods alike.

As a final note, we disallow faceclaims for a reason. The characters may appear in the RP, and so to prevent that we do not allow faceclaims of ANY character whatsoever. Even banned ones. Picrew exists, should you require to design your OC. For the sake of ensuring that characters don't recognize an OC for the character of the face claim, or for a character to see an OC with the same face, we have implemented the rule above.

I hope that you will understand our stance on this matter.