#am i allowed to do what i want if society doesnt allow me to do what i need

[opens-up-4-nobody]

You don't understand how unhinged I feel trying to construct an ending for Bleach that I personally would enjoy while knowing Bleach does not deserve my time and also not remembering enough to actually make anything coherent. And yet here I am.

[rabdoidal]

idk how to express it but like. my mum asked me earlier "do you have initiative? you need to learn how to do things without people telling you" and idk how to tell her like. 1. i am autistic and a HUGE part of that is not having motivation or initiative in the traditional sense because its harder to read what people want from you, 2. i also have executive dysfunction with my depression, and 3. she is the reason why i have a lack of motivation! because my whole life when i Try to do things to help out, i either get confused or i do it wrong, and shes not patient with me and also doesnt explain things to me - and the worst part is 4. i dont know how to explain stuff to her without it feeling like an excuse, because when i speak plainly, she thinks im dodging blame, when im actually just trying to communicate my default settings and how im working on overcoming them because i live in a neurotypical society. when i dont contribute or help out because im scared of messing up, i am ridiculed and shamed, and when i do contribute, im not allowed to ask clarifying questions or ask for support, because then i am an idiot. and y'know what? its annoying to be told i have no motivation when right now is the time where i have the most self-driven motivation ive ever had

[our-trans-punk-experience]

What does it really mean to be a "Punk?"

I'm completely on board with the whole "beat the shit out of fascists and pigs" thing but I'm skeptical of any sort of subculture or group that celebrates values of any kind as "good" because I get pissy when confronted with concrete ideologies like Marxism. I'm scared that I'm going to end up getting into some kind of clique. I don't want to be in a clique where I get shat on for not having the morally approved opinion. If I can't have a controversial opinion without being silenced, then I don't want anything to do with "Punk."

I'm an Egoist. You're an anarchist, so, assuming you know who Max Stirner is, I'm pretty sure you know what that entails, but in case you don't, I put myself above all things. That's not to say that I'm a greedy bastard who wants to consume all the products ever, but that my own being and desires are the basis of my views on politics/society. I hate gender not merely because it oppresses all the poor minorities who need my help but because it gets in MY way, threatens MY life, and demands MY conformance to it. I want my damned life for myself. I want self-ownership. I see no legitimacy in the braindead wokeness of bougie college kids and chickenshit university profs. I want action in the here and now, not ineffectual Bookchinite/Leftcom/Marxist-Leninist meetings where we discuss how best to tickle the workers balls in the fallout of the USSR (which was an authoritarian shithole).

As a post-left anarchist (or preferably no-wing anarchist) I find myself skeptical of subcultures. "Oh, what's that? You don't like *band here?* Well you're automatically a poser/elitist/hipster/whatever." I understand that sometimes it's meant to pick out the actual posers by testing how thin your skin is, but it's really fucking annoying when people expect me to embody values like "don't do drugs" or "be vegan" because I refuse to define myself and my goals according to what other people deem morally correct.

I'm not really in a position to actually join a subculture at the moment because I'm a financially dependent minor, but I want you to give me an actual reason to join the punk subculture. Just so I can see if it's really worth it. What's in it for me, and how hard am I allowed to kick the balls of Nazi scum?

RIGHT!! Fuckin love it when i get asks like this

I'll split up my answer so I can get through all the points without rambling

Political Theory

SO punk does not have any one kind of coherent political ideology. Core political views are

anti-authoritarianism

non-conformist

abstractly leftist

fuck bigots of any description

you will not be bound to Marxism or any key thinkers beliefs. Your politics are your own and disagreement is encouraged as long as you arent being a dick. Of course you might find some punks that get pissy about ideological purity, but they aren't very punk, sooo fuck em. Bootlicking isn't punk, even/especially if the Boot is Lenin's.

Egoism

yeah egoist anarchism is just fine in the punk scene. as long as your "for my own ends" mentality doesnt end up tipping over into "I will go on a Shein haul twice a month bc I want new clothes and fuck anyone who tells me how damaging it is". You don't have to be a saint, just again, don't be a massive dick about it. You can look out for your own ends for sure. You will find that the punk scene often times talks about community, in the sense of solidarity and common goals (which you seem to share anyway), so as long as you can jibe with that you'll be fine

Non-conformity

Is the entire bloody point. If you're looking for a community that won't tell you that you have to look a certain way, or listen to 100 bands from the 70s to be accepted, the punk scene is built on nonconformity. not even just from society but within the scene. And even the big name bands from back in the day were screaming about the dangers of homogenising the punk scene, or letting it get commodified. Differences in opinion, style, music taste, ect are the whole fucking point and if someone tries to impose punk "rules" about that, then they don't get the scene.

"it's really fucking annoying when people expect me to embody values like "don't do drugs" or "be vegan""

i do drugs and am not vegan. you really don't need to worry. i really fear for the punk that says "don't do drugs". absolutist ideals should not be shoved on you.

"I'm not really in a position to actually join a subculture at the moment because I'm a financially dependent minor,"

Ok so while I get that possibly if you're financially dependent on people who would be able to mess up your life if you wore clothes they didn't approve of, and wouldn't buy you anything, it can seem difficult, but I want to just reassure you a bit. Punk is built off communities with financial difficulties, DIY, and more than just spiked collars. You don't have to be able to make it to basement shows or out to the city to be a punk. You can listen to the music (definitely listen to the music), get involved in politics, learn the history, watch movies, read books, DIY your own clothes and accessories, including smaller things like badges, patches or chains. The scene is the people as well as what we do.

how hard am I allowed to kick the balls of Nazi scum?

make them piss blood for weeks.

[yellowbluemoonshine]

How will Deku ‘save’ shigaraki at your end?

I think the answer is simple but also hard thing to do.

Shigaraki wants to be acknowledged by heroes, by society, by everyone. I think what would save Shigaraki is to be heard, to be understood, to show that his life matters too. For once. FOR GODDAMN ONCE, someone to care enough to prioritize saving him too.

Izuku could and WOULD relate to him because he knows whats it feels like to be outcast, someone who is not worthy or someone who is left behind. He knows what it feels like and he wouldnt let anyone feel the same way he did.

He would sempathize with Shigaraki and would actually listen to him. Why? Because Izuku wants to understand villains. Why? Because Izuku already learnt both by his own experiences and others, that there is something wrong with this society. Best way to show?

Not giving up on Shigaraki.

Even if it means, he has to go agaisnt his elders, teachers. Not because he doesnt care about the people Shigaraki killed or safety of the world. But because Deku is someone who would always prioritize the victim in front of him, despite everyone around him told him not to do that. Deku wouldnt give up on saving Shigaraki's life even if Shigaraki repeatedly refuses him. He would hesitate to kill him every single time, just like the same way Batman hesitated to kill Joker, except it would actually matter because Shigaraki is not Joker.

Well, yes. Deku is not Batman either. Batman has flaws too, but at least he was allowed to be invidual with personal feelings. Not robot who always do and say right things. Deku wasnt a character like this at the beginning but it seems after some point, author seems to give up his character. His past, his romantic feelings for Ochaco, his toxic relationship with his bully Bakugou, his full support for Shouto, his Goddamn father, literally everything about his character.

Everything that makes Izuku interesting (to me) disappeared after some point. Because Izuku we all know would save Shigaraki. He would call out his elders, just like he once called out Endeavour at the spor festival for Shouto's sake. Izuku wouldnt give up, just like the meaning of his hero name. He wouldnt give up, especially after he said 'He looked like he needs saving' after Shigaraki killed many people in front of him a few mins ago. Thats the whole point of his character and journey. Izuku would save Shigaraki no matter what.

(Bonus; I was also drawn to Izuku because he is infj, just like me. It was refreshing to see realistically written infj character, especially as main character.)

I already made a lot of posts in the past that explains why Izuku would and should Shigaraki. Too much, to the point i didnt even need to explain myself anymore. But well. Just like many other things, it is rushed and story failed to leave up to his own goal. 'The greatest hero'. This makes me sad because latest arcs ruined Izuku and Shigaraki's character the most. My two favorite characters.

I didnt write in too much details because i am tired but if this isnt enough, you can find hundreds of Bnha post in my blog about why Izuku would and should save Shigaraki.

[royal-they]

when discussing gwens transcoding i feel like people dont talk about how her being spider women is literally viewed as politics from the start.

people talk about her and the validity of her actions and choices in front of her even before peters death. her dad specifically questions how she dresses. why she need to hide behind a mask. the spider suit was made to hide the identity of the wearer yes but for gwen stacys spider woman thats always been different, even in the comics.

presenting the way she does keeps her safe when she’s gwen stacy but it also represents the choices she makes. her work as spider woman. its her badge. this line is something that always stuck with me in the comics and i love that they didn’t change it in the movie. her suit and mask are not hiding who she is, theyre an extension of it.

being trans makes how you present yourself very complicated at least in my experience. youre constantly worried around new people and strangers, do they think i look like a boy or a girl? am i passing? if im not passing am i safe? its really complicated, passing doesnt make you more or less valid but a lot of society views it that way and how people see you can change how safe you are. these things are nuanced is what im saying and i like how gwen is allowed to do what feels right for her regardless of what others think.

another point is how shes met with violence when she first essentially “comes out” as spider woman. even though its a loved one, her dad doesnt take it well. because of his duty to society he feels he cant accept her as spider woman.

so she has to run away from home. live with the people who do make her feel at home, her own band as she puts it. and only then, when she’s is able to stand on her own does she face her dad.

they both needed time. to work on themselves. and something important is that he stops being a cop. stops this duty he feels he owes to society to get rid of spider woman to protect their children.

only when he takes time to truly understand her perspective and actions is he able to accept her.

as trans people our identities are constantly considered something cis people and the government get to determine. but with spiderverse we see gwens story as being portrayed as a villian by society. we see it from her perspective. not her dads perspective. not miles, an outsiders perspective who has to come and fix everything. her own perspective. and in the end she doesnt want society to accept her. she just needs her dad. her loved ones. because shes never given a damn about outsiders, there’s never a focus on how some random j jonah jameson feels about her. they instead focus on her dad. because he is who hurts her. and for me at least that’s very relatable.

spider man in general is a very trans subject because society hates him and he has to disguise himself to stay safe. but gwen stacy as ghost spider or spider woman really stands out to me. because it feels so much more personal to get to spectate her life. she’s so real, so human. and that is essence of what makes a spidey.

[bunnihearted]

☁️🐇💭

i dont know it all makes me feel so not human, like im missing out on a big human experience. everyone around me has a partner or have had one/multiple. even my old friend a, who i recently messaged a bit with.. even he has a bf. an all of my old friends have currently a partner, and my old classmates have partners and i dont know i just really wonder whats so wrong with my and why im not allowed to be a part of humanity. i know im extremely ugly and have an unappeaking body and on top of that an atrocious personality but like....... so do other ppl. a few of my old friends are bullies and theyre ugly as i am but they're still married and live with their boyfriends... what is so incredibly different with me, why dont i get go partake in humanity???? im like 35 fkn yrs old and never. never. i lack smth so major about being a humanbeing. recently i read a romance book abt two ppl in their 30s who were virgins and fell in love, but like even they had experienced kissing. which i havent. not even a peck. ive never been flirted with never been asked on a date never ever. and i also feel like im quickly getting older and it gets more and more embarrassing bc society ARE judgemental. am i gonna date someone for the first time when im 33yrs old and be like yeah sorry im 33 but ive never even kissed bro im terrible and useless with all of that. no fucking adult is gonna wanna "teach" or have patience with a 33yr old partner who dont know anything about any of that like be for real. i cant hide it either bc they will tell when i dont even know how to kiss. this is if i even ever get to be in a romantic/sexual situation lol.

and like no it isnt normal. most ppl, like the fucking majority, like at least 8/10 ppl have had SOME sexual experience, even if its just kissing. i have zero. like i dont even have experience in flirting. "its ok its normal" no it isnt, its fucking sad and pathetic and humiliating and sets me apart from the rest of humanity, the rest of the world. im 25 and it means im undesirable and unwanted. "u dont have to be in a relationship to be whole" but i WANT to. i used to just want friends, i was fine for somany years with being alone and just wishing to meet friends. but not anymore, it doesnt do anything for me anymore. if anything it only emphasizes my loneliness, bc my so called friends will spend a couple of hours hanging out with me, then they will go home to their partner, they person they have chosen and been chosen by, and i will go home to an empty apartment and be all alone. i dont really care for friendships anymore, i used to see it as a soothing balm to the wound, maybe not the proper treatment for it, but at least it could work as a bandaid. but now it just reminds me of how fucking unwanted i am. sure they might want to have some sort of semi closeness with me, but a mere friendship doesnt allow the closeness and intimacy i need and want. i will never be number 1, the first priority, the one and only, the one they'd do anything for, the one they wanna know better than everyone else, the one they want to spend alltheir time with, the one they're crazy about, to just a friend. it only reminds me that im never good enough or special or important enough to be chosen.

so i just dont care for friendships, they make me hollow and empty and make me feel lonely. because i wanna be so so close to someone. where we almost blend together. you dont do that with friends. u dont have sex and let eo see eachother completely naked - metaphorically - and vulnerable. u dont stay completely loyal and prioritize your friends. i want one person to pour everything into, share everything with. im tired and i dont care about spreading some shards, some splinters of me around widespread. and with how my brain works, how fucking disordered it is, i dont even have the energy to entertain and maintain several different friendships, none of them as deep and profound as i crave. i dont have that in me. i need one person to give it all to. i dont have the energy for more than that, it just doesnt work for me. i dont know. i used to think i wanted friends, and maybe i will get to a place again where i will be able to. maybe. idk anything. but really i cant see how i'd be able to have the energy to give a little bit of me to multiple people. that only makes me feel empty and lonely. i want smth with one person withno barriers between us. idc for anything else anymore i just dont. and thats why i feel so fucking lonely because im dying of thirst and everything that isnt what i want feels like nothing but drops of acid making me slowly fkn die lol

[greenshi]

alright tell me about YOUR current favorite guy now

I AM FINALLY DOING THIS i have been. so distracted lmaooo. BUT I decided to do the guy in my icon, fifth member of weezer and best FE character, Python <3. He may not be the Number One guy in my brain right this moment, but that spot and most after it are all taken by OCs, so. We're doing him instead. Also because of this tag because I think you'd like this guy jort

ANYWAY, Python. My guy. He's a character from Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia, a recruitable archer early on in Alm's route.

Now, in Echoes, the class discrepancy between nobles and commoners is a prominent theme, especially in Alm's route. This is something that comes up in a lot of FE games, unsurprisingly, seeing as princes and thieves fight together side by side. And the games (at least those I've played, which is only FEA-FE3H. I know.) tend to handwave a lot of the more unsavory points of that topic. A lot of the time, conversations or supports that delve into that topic end in "yeah, being poor and starving sucks, but you know what also sucks? Being royalty! It's really hard :[" which, like, yeah, it is, but also one party here has the means to help the other, but is choosing not to instead say how their life sucks too, actually. Idk, these conversations always rubbed me in the wrong way a bit.

ALL THAT BEING SAID, Python is a commoner. And he doesnt buy any of that "being rich is hard too guys :[" shit for a Second. In his support with Clive (a nobleman knight who's opinion on the whole situation is "well some people have to be poor so I can be rich") he straight up tells him that his ideas on how society should be run are wrong and that his view on common people are condescending at best.

Python doesn't fight for honor or any sense of duty, he fights for his paycheck and his childhood friend who does feel that duty, Forsyth. Even if he and Forsyth disagree on many things, there's a mutual respect between the two, an understanding of their station, and a small rivalry between how to best navigate said station. Forsyth encourages Python to get out there, try things, put some effort into life. But Python just, doesn't see much of a point. But it's not for any depressive reason, or even straight apathy. Python just prioritizes rest and relaxation. He doesn't live to work, he has no dream job (which Forsyth takes as having no dream at all, not that Python would disagree), he just wants to enjoy his life; sleeping in the sun, having a few drinks, spending time with friends, and sharing stories and gossip.

Speaking of friends and gossip, I'm going to drop my favorite support of his, maybe even my favorite support in the whole game (even though its locked behind a dlc map like seriously what was up with this games dlc why is a support between two base game units behind a paywall-)

Going from this support, and the fact that neither of them have romantic endings, (Lukas' even saying he 'never wanted for companionship') this is a pretty clear attempt by FE at writing two aroace (or at least just aro) characters. And, idk, I think its really special. Neither are framed as missing out or needing another to be happy, the conversation is to the point and respectful, and they are both allowed to be full characters beyond this detail of their lives.

And that's a common thread through Python's character that I admire. In any other story, the character that had no want for big dreams, constant improvement, or romance would be framed as an empty person, someone deeply unhappy without anything to strive for. But, even as the other characters try and impose that narrative onto Python, that's never actually the case. He is happy as he is, doing just enough to be as comfortable as he can, taking rests and shortcuts all along the way. He will not sell his time more than he must, he will not work harder than he has to, he will not allow those who push themselves to breaking for those above them to guilt him into doing the same. He has nothing to prove, nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, the one time he could push himself, in his bad ending after Forsyth dies, *THAT* is when he is empty and miserable, fighting like his friend once did until his early, untimely death.

Python is just such a breath of fresh air. He was the one in my brain telling me say no to my boss long before Chilchuck, he is a character that not even FE has been able to write like that again (even when writing for him specifically, like his Heroes characterization is so off and bad augh). He is one of the very few canonically aro characters I can find, and I'm proud to have him napping in my icon for the foreseeable future.

[crystalis]

i hope ur feeling better. ik its hard that we live in such a shitty society and ik exactly how u feel. ive also never landed a job, cant drive, and barely have any kind of life experience at the old age of 25. please dont value urself based on what you can or cant provide for the shitty capitalist system, u are so much more than that. i may not know u personally but weve been mutuals forever and uve always remained such a sweet, empathetic person with an interesting character and i just have so many hopes for u. it doesnt matter if ur behind in life compared to your peers, its unrealistic to expect everyone to fit into a restrictive mold. i could go on and on about this but my point is: dont allow someone to dehumanize or lessen ur worth because of conditions out of ur control. u dont deserve that, no one deserves that. if u need resources on how to help urself id be more than happy to help, but i also dont want to intrude too much. and i hope to god tumblr doesnt cut off this ask i have no idea how many characters are allowed

thank you that means a lot.. its validating being reminded im not alone, i think part of what makes it so painful is the feeling that i am failing uniquely. or that im the only person in this sort of situation

it feels dificult to get out of the trap of self-sabotage. it's like any time i make some sort of progress, like leaving the house more (last year i was going on walks a lot, and me and my mom were going to the park every once in a while), i eventuallt take 2 steps back and i ended up pushing people in my life away and making myself more isolated

i know that things would be easier if i had close friends my age that could help guide me, but it's like i unconsciously respond to that by making myself friendless/guide-less.. i dont know how to articulate this very well.. it feels increasingly more difficult to climb out of a hole the deeper that you are, and it's like there's part of you that just wants to dig deeper until theres no escape

i hvae really intense social anxiety and a fear of humiliation and i get very overwhelmed by it when im alone in public spaces or when i think about getting a job. i know its very exacerbated by the fear of the unknown since ive never done interviews or had a job before, i never even had a 'first time' experience and it makes it so much worse for someone with intense social anxiety

and theres also that feeling that i am intruding in someone elses spaces / lives or their friend-groups.. i always think—what if my coworkers dont like me or think im awkward? or what if i make things more difficult for them because i mess things up, or what if im a bad worker and people talk about me. and it gets harder the older i get.. how can i explain how clueless/backwards i am at 26 years old, it's not like im a 16 year old that people expect to not know what theyre doing, you know

[kiwislayys]

Shatter me quotes that i am in love with ♡ ⊹

- I find my self thinking about warner too much , I remember his eyes and his odd kindness and his cruel calculating demeanor.

- Sometimes I think about glue, no one ever stops to ask glue how its holding up if its tired of sticking things together or worried about falling apart or wondering how it will pay its bills next week. Kenji is kind of like that

- “Dont go” he whispers eyes on my notebook again. “Please” he says. “ sit with me , stay with me i just want to see you , you don’t have to say anything “

- Just because i am going to hell , doesnt mean you will ever deserve her

- Hell is empty , all the devils are here

- I have no one to impress, no one who cares about what happens to me. I am not in the business of making friends love, my job is to lead an army and its the only thing i am good at. No one would be proud of the things I’ve accomplished, my mother doesn’t even know me anymore, my father thinks I am weak and pathetic, my soldiers want me dead , the world is going to hell and the conversations i have with you are the longest I’ve ever had.

- I’ve never claimed to be right or good or even justified my actions the simple truth is that i don’t care I’ve been forced to do terrible things in my life love and i am seeking neither your forgiveness nor your approval because i do not have the luxury of philosophizing over scruples when i am forced to act on basic instinct everyday

- Twice I’ve laid myself bare for you and all its gotten me was a bullet wound and a broken heart

- Do you never get exhausted being so wholly unbearable? You have as much charisma as the rotting innards of unidentified roadkill

- But i do know what its like to hide from the world i know what its like to live as though you don’t exist , caged away and isolated from society and i wont do it again

- Ignite my love , ignite

- All right , all right drama queen calm down and tell me about this classified business

- To the world she is formidable, to me she is the world

- Cant look at you , why not? , too pretty

- I want to remember to celebrate more. I want to remember to experience more joy i want to allow myself to be happy more frequently i want to remember forever this look on aarons face as hes bullied into blowing out his birthday candles for the first time.

-I am having a panic attack you inconsiderate ass

-I am not dramatic, my presence just commands a certain amount of attention.

-such unfortunate language , only those who can not express themselves intelligently would resort to such crude substitutes in vocabulary

♡ ⊹ ♡ ⊹ ♡ ⊹

[progressivemother]

How I Stay Productive as a Working Housewife & Mother to Two

Everyone wants to be productive in their day and have a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment at the end of the day. Our society has made it seem that unless you are employed outside the home you are not a productive member of society. This is simply not true. Whether you work outside of the home, in the home, or only a homemaker, you deserve to feel happy and appreciated.

Everyone should be satisfied with and proud of their home. Dont get me wrong; that doesnt mean only cleaning the house. It's taking care of the yard, the vehicles, and the outside of the home. Of course, everyone has pets and kids to care for as well.

Here are my tips for staying on top of things whether you work outside of the home or in the home.

1. Keep a routine and a schedule

I have a daily routine and a schedule. Of course, everything is flexible if it's needed. I am not strict in everything I do. But if you schedule a routine, the house practically runs itself.

I have a cleaning binder with daily, weekly, and monthly cleaning routines. I used these when I worked outside of the home and I have kept it while working from home. I will admit, it is definitely easier while working from home. You need to find something that works for you and create your own binder if that is something that works for you.

We have a daily schedule that is usually consistent. We have one for the school year and one for the summer. What I've come to find works great for me is an app where I can keep my schedule and the kids' all in one space. This helps me keep track. The kids have Synch Up watches that I can add schedules to so they can keep up on their own things. I do have an app with my schedule and an app where I can list anything extra I need to do that isnt on the normal schedule such as what monthly cleaning I am going to do that day, when to start a birthday cake or what needs to be bought that wasnt in the grocery delivery.

2. Do some chores and set up some things the night before.

I like to do a few things the night before to make my day easier.

• Empty all of the trash

• Pick up all of the clutter and put things away

• Reset the kitchen

• Put clothes and washing pod in washer

• Prepare any food needed for next day whether defrosting or premaking crockpot meal.

• Prepare kids' meals that don't involve cooking.

• Prepare pets' food for next day and check pets' water.

• Set up kids' videos (we have education time every morning)

• Choose outfit and jewelry

• Fill water bottle

• Refill toilet paper, paper towels, & hand soaps

• Prepare the coffee for the next day. (Our coffee pot has a time that we can set for it to brew)

• Put the dishes in the dishwasher and preset to wash during the night

• Get anything ready for next day, such as bills, knitting and groceries to do while working. So for you, it might be a briefcase or a coffee mug. If you are able to take care of things while working in between customers or calls (whatever it is you do), then do that if it is allowed by your bosses.

3. Get up early and go to bed early

I wake up every morning at 4am to start my day. I do not start work until 7am. I work from home so I can do a lot before that time. I exercise, do a piano session, drink my coffee and eat breakfast, and lastly I do most of my daily cleaning and most of my weekly cleaning. The rest can be done on breaks including my monthly cleaning.

You do what works for you and what helps you feel the most productive. It’s not so much when you get up, it’s your attitude when you do. I take a few minutes to get my mind and attitude right before I start my day. Purpose to have a good attitude and purpose to be a productive person.

Going to bed at a good time the night before helps with this. I am in bed by 8:30pm after meditation. Meditation definitely helps me wind down and fall asleep quicker and helps me wake up in a better mood. This habit is something I have taught my kids.

4. Get dressed as early as possible

Whether you take a shower/bath the night before or in the morning, it is important that you get ready for the day as soon as you can. I usually take a bath the night before. Since I clean, I stay in my cleaning clothes or pajames until I am mostly finished. I get dressed around 10am in the morning. I just feel more productive when I'm dressed. I don't wear makeup so this does make things easier. I do understand with toddlers it's more difficult but I made it work. Just do your best.

5. Have a calendar

We have a month calendar and a week calendar for anything we have plans for such as birthday parties or gymnastics. I have the app and I have a physical magnetic calendar on the fridge.

The app is for me and the calendar on the fridge is for the family. Everyone has a colored marker for themselves. There are also colors for family things, friends things, and pets.

6. Meal prep

A time-saving hack every mom should be doing is meal planning. It saves money and it makes making the meals much easier on yourself. We also have a magnetic week calendar for the meals. I have an app where I keep track of the meals but I also write it down on a physical calendar on the fridge.

7. Choose a day to prepare for the week.

Every Thursday, I sit down and go over the schedule, bills, and meal plan for the week. I pay the bills due and shop for the groceries to be delivered on Fridays.

This doesn't take me longer than an hour. We don't usually have much planned. It's the same schedule every day. Work, school, etc.

But choose a day that fits you best and go over everything that needs to be taken care of for that week.

8. Be Organized

My husband always makes fun of me and says I'm crazy because of how organized I am. I have binders for everything. Birthdays, bills, cleaning, house projects, etc. I also have the house organized. But the thing is, keeping things minimal and having as little in the house as possible helps me keep everything in it's place. The kids are taught, "don't put it down, put it away". I make sure I use that mantra on myself as well.

9. Schedule breaks and time for yourself

Give yourself little times during the day to have a break. Grab a cup of coffee or a snack, go for a walk. Reward yourself for productive periods of time. You will be much more likely to finish a task after you have a break. Taking time for yourself doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you a happier and better mom. I do my exercise in the morning and my meditation and a bath in the evening.

10. Say "no"

This is so important for everyone who works from home, works outside of the home, or is a homemaker. There are times when saying "no" is just what you have to do. You have a schedule and most likely, so do your friends. Schedule time for friends. You have children and you have your husband that you also need to spend time with. Luckily, my friends and I understand this about each other. We are all working mothers who prefer spending time with family on the weekends. Sometimes, we will all get together on the weekends doing family things with friends but it's rare. Mostly, we will choose a time we have lunch break and eat lunch together or sit at the park talking. We get our social time in and we still are able to focus on our schedules and families.

11. Put your phone down and limit all media

We, as parents, need to learn to put our phones down to spend more time with our children and to stay productive. Think about it. We can sit on a phone and get distracted and before we know it, 30 minutes or an hour has gone by and we havent done anything.

In my house, we limit screen time for the kids and the parents. We also do not allow the news or politics in our home. We have realized that it is only distracting and toxic. It doesnt have any use to us, in this time, in our home.

12. Dont procrastinate

For me it is not helpful to continue to worry about how I feel and my struggles. There is a time and place for that. We can all get overwhelmed with our duties, our jobs, our kids, etc. We tend to just sit there in our thoughts and whine about how we don't want to do laundry or cook dinner. Just do it. Things just need to be done. If it doesn't get done, then later on, it will only be more overwhelming to us because there is more work to be done. I try to get things done as efficiently and joyfully as possible so that I can more energy for things that I actually want to do.

Times have changed alot since the early days of being a housewife. A wife and mother has many responsibilities, but they can be achieved with luck and planning. Creating a schedule that works for you and your family is the catalyst for success. Celebrate your wins and always do your best. Everyone has good days and bad days. Don't be afraid to ask for help or have your kids do chores. Do not worry about being perfect. You only need to do you best.

[scifriskyxy]

The reason we dont have a culture anymore is because the lgbtq,feminist, black lives matter movement, the me too movement the destruction of the family unit, the destruction of friendships,gate keepers

The fact that people get angry at the american flag,the people that get angry at it, destroyed the american culture. Those are the people ,the people who protest on japans culture, those are the people that have destroyed our society, they are a mix of americans and immigrants, the people we call tourist where the ones that destroyed us, the rich snobs ,those who act rich,the children that are spoiled rotten desytoyed us ,the parents that said "i wont do what my dad did" the people that want to stop the generational trauma altogether,in some ways thats great but however trauma teaches us, it humbles us it warns us on whats dangerous

The MOCKING of christianity is the disrespect,the lack of chivalrous men,the stock piling of wealth ,the lack of proper justice, the men and women that trap their spouse into paying for a child that for men likely isnt theirs and so much more

A culmination of all these things

The only actual culture left are the hillbillies, the florida man , the motorcycle gangs,rednecks

These people, as far as i can tell, are one of the few people left with the american spirit , with a culture that survives being named and will survive persecution. Why? Because a lot of these people are veteran alot of these people fought for our countries they know what america means

How did this start? You wonder,well

For me as far as i can tell it started when americans began to call themselves african american it started with slurs it moved to women more and more leaving the home life ,it began with trends that didnt unify us it began with trends that divided us

I do not know how my home land my borinquen is today...i had to leave it due to reasons outside of my control, but when i was there ,there was unity, there was love there was respect ,it wasnt always the best

I could join in the fun myself due to being isolated in an apartment looking down at the happenings i still watch from phisical isolation. Now that i am on the ground, i am in america. All i see is a desolate desert

Dull colors, vast open roads, ghosts whispers of a past that was slowly bit by bit torn to shreds all thats left ,is drugs,sex endless rants, whimps that cry victim, people that blindly trust blindly blame blame blame,conspiracy theories and people divided glaring at eachother,endless secrets and a rabbit hole of depravity that doesnt end...it feels like the pits of hell and its gates are opening

People see it but do nothing because it 'not their problem

Im scared... I do not know what i can do. We've tried everything, and things aren't changing fast enough if things dont change FOR the better ,the monsters ,the predators amongst us the inhuman people amongst us the most deprived twisted beings that are being protected that we arent allowed to harm will harm us we cant protect ourselves,the children are being raised and born to be worse than the last generation

What can we do?

We can't do anything because we suffer from a cycle. Many places have managed to slow the cycle down,we are being fought over by two sides, and we do not know ,i do not know the reason but we are seen as a comodity for whatever reason ,is it our souls? Is it our attention? We never had a choice. We were never given one WE, who never had a voice

What would you choose ,Satan or god

It's a red herring... or so it feels like it to me,

It's either god or suffer,come to me, my child, or be destroyed ,blindly trust me child or suffer,we never had a choice jesus made that choice for us,one man one person made the choice for an unfathomable amount of lives ,hes the king hes all...and what are we?...he says we are kings and queens but are we? I stare at the angels. Did they have a choice? I look at the Bible, and i stare up at the stars , i yearn to be free, we are so close to it...and we are being struck down by something we can't comprehend something all powerful, something we cannot fight against no matter how hard we try,something we cannot escape from even in death

So many people silenced blindly trusting and distrusting

I wish deeply to ask jesus a question

Why does he blindly believe a father that was never there for him, a father that technically assaulted his mother that tained something so sacrilegious as a marriage? I understand why he didn't choose to side with Satan, but why, God, when he had a choice, a choice never said, choose neither... and choose everyone

I know my questions will land me in hell, all I hope i figure out my own way out somehow sometimes you must ask for help I know but sometimes that help comes with a price

All I want... all I crave is freedom ,no hellish jail, no collar and chain,no strings, no judgment

Why... do I crave this so badly that my body has goosebumps

I crave to create. I crave to explore the abyss of the cosmos I crave to learn,I CRAVE THE TRUTH

The more I look up, the more that dream is fading the more I see what God has done... the more I see dead or dying stars devastated planets ...has it always been this way? Or is this God's doing

If there's a father... where is the mother... who is the mother? There must be a mother out there, right?

I may be scared... but I must keep moving. I can not stop. I MUST break through no matter how much pain and how much suffering I must stay determined. I do not want to fight. All I want is freedom. Hurting someone is the last thing I want to do, so I place a shield upon myself. What color will it be? I do not know. I do not care. All colors are beautiful, hope, and love where given to me I will not allow God to take it away a gift is a gift after all and I accept your gift you shouldn't be expecting anything in return perhaps one day I'll be able to give back

.

.

.

Just Believe

[themole]

drinking my chocolate milk and hugging my teddy bear and i stare into my computer screen seeing so many faces staring back not communicating and i tear up because i want to know them but they dont share my desire, theyre caught up in a cope that allows them to live day to day, denying deep urges for meaning and community and i harden too over the years because i want to be like them but i never fully lose touch with that baby i am and i look in the eyes of others and get scared to see that they have in fact lost touch, aimless drive carries their feet and the people that are actually like-minded to me sit around me, dressed the same, acting the same, wanting and using these excuses to sit next to each other and they work, some of us talk amongst this grouping, we desire play to facilitate an excuse for more closeness, we kiss, we fuck, we fuck up, the naive and deeply hurt hurt each other more, the deeply hurt also accrue enough experience to never hurt anyone to a meaningful degree ever again, everyone is at different points of desperately trying to break through and people seem to only match up when theyre on substances together so we take substances and we fuck and we do anything, cut, mock, spill embarrassing thoughts during what this broken society's frameworks would call a personality disorder episode, why doesnt everyone have a personality?

[nahalism]

Do you ever have moments of deralization?? If so, how do you deal with it? I find that I have to be present in life but I struggle because when I am present I still feel detached like I can’t believe my life (not negative or positive,just neutral)

more so in the past than currently & it was in relation to other dissociative tendencies — mainly depersonalisation.

i dealt with it through acceptance. i know all of these experiences can be labeled as 'disorders/mental illness' but i find that dangerous. cause (e.g)— just because im depressed doesnt mean what i experience whilst im depressed isnt reality. if i start to believe that what i feel, and what i think in reaction to the world is 'just my disorder' or a symptom of insanity and not my genuine truth in relation to the moment before me, a split will be created between the disorder im experiencing and my self which is the experience. people were constantly trying to convince me i was living in a delusion, 'its not you, its the 'insert disorder'', which i found invalidating & i felt was deeply untrue. i saw the disorder as a narrow lens, and felt that there had to be a reason i was seeing the world through that lens. it had to be showing me something or given to me as reflection of something id learned through an experience id had, and so whilst it wasnt the entirety of who i was it was a part of who i was. thus, if i wanted to master it i had to embrace that and understand that so i could wield it rather than it wield me. — as i did that, and embraced the 'disorders' i was experiencing, as well as my thoughts & my feelings (mainly a lack of them). i allowed them to be true for me and validated my narrative of the world around me through my experience of them. i sat with everything and allowed myself to really be present with what i found, and internalise it.

[that looked like letting myself dissociate without resistance & i letting the world around me feel foggy and out of my reach, or letting time pass whilst i stood/sat somewhere unable to feel myself/my body or how long i was there for].

what i found was that my psyche was using this 'disorder' to protect me from ptsd & feeling everything i was aware of / becoming aware of but had not yet processed. as i continued surrender to where i was and accepted every part of that experience as my own real and valid truth, i was slowly able to question what i was being shown by myself in that moment. i observed my perspective & the emotions that arose in correlation to what i was experiencing & i used the combination of the two to understand how i got to that point & why i was having the experience i was having. (basically unpacking trauma & the blueprint i was operating off of). as i observed falsehoods from my past i was able to unlearn them without convincing myself they were false or that i was to blame, because i could see what was happening through an objective lens. that let me change the rules of the game of my life. because by seeing my self and my past through the dissociated lens, i was granted not only that objectivity but an intuitive feeling of 'this wasnt right', 'this wasnt my fault' which i learned from observation was being shown to me each time i would feel my body shut off from me. so i took that information & applied it, thinking 'if i were to redo this, this isnt how i would choose for things to be, so how would i choose them to be?'. — the whole experience felt like it came to help me unlearn my past, and refocus on what i felt called to do instead rather than what i felt like i had been doing or had to do or/was programmed to do (not even by society per se but due to familial roles that we base our morality/centre of self off of, or even what id internalised about myself due to certain events).

because of this, i could begin to operate in my own world again. but that world wasn't a different world than the one i felt dissociative in — it was an expansion of it! & it was being in my own world that saved me because i could process what was unprocessed and realign with my own centre of truth whether mentally or emotionally, rather than force myself into alignment with a world that didnt and wouldnt fit for me. it came at a cost cause i went mia at university & my jobs at the time in order to do it, but i didnt and still dont regret that. the freedom i felt in shedding weight that didnt belong to me or that i couldnt/didnt want to carry is something i aspire to uphold to this day, & deeper than that i prioritised myself & my sanity!!!!! (which is all u actually need in order to sustain living a real life & provide for yourself). — im still very spaced out at times. someone referred to it as alice in wonderland syndrome the other day. but i embrace it & dont wish to change it.

the real question, are people really neurodivergent or just different/having different responses to the stimuli the world throws at them? dont let labels other you, or put you in a box that you feel you have to work to get out of. the reality you face is just as valid as the reality of any other person, ant or, goat. just because people dont understand where your at or maybe you dont understand where your at doesnt mean it isnt valid & necessary. — if you dont like your current experience, thats another thing & growth is always possible. but accepting that tour growing from where you are, not into what you want to be is huge for overall peace of mind. fundamentally, we are all human beings having a human experience. we feel what we feel, think what we think, and experience what we experience for a reason! there is always a reason. — sending my love. u can always dm if u wanna talk <3

[dyke-on]

i completely understand your alienation from womanhood and i want you to know that coming from an empathetic place, those things that you cant relate to about being a woman arent things that define it. You dont have to be a mother, wife, or feminine to be a woman. those are stereotypes that everyone else imposes upon us. it isnt you that doesnt fit “woman”, its society at large thats narrowed the definition down until all it is is thinly veiled misoynistic standards. i also struggled with deciding whether i was nonbinary or not because i knew those things didnt suit me and never would, but i realized that those criteria for being a woman are imposed roles that dont have anything to do with being a woman and that i dont need to fulfill. it was freeing to come to that realization where, despite the way the world sees me and despite the fact that i refuse to conform, i am STILL a woman. i hope that whatever you accept for yourself you find peace in it

I mean thanks but it just sounds like no one is non binary to you, we're all just unhappy women who don't fit into a box but should identify with womanhood none the less, so like thanks for this but idk what to do with it.

Also I have in fact went from identifying as nb to realizing "a women can be whetever and gender is a construct" when I was younger and guess what I'm back to feeling like womanhood is just not for me. I feel butch because I relate to the experiences and feelings of other butches, I don't relate to all the cishet women in my life because butch lesbian is outside of womanhood, we're allowed to not be women. I'm not winning anything by staying in the box that only ever made me feel unhappy. Either way I have to except myself as I am, in a world not for me, but telling people to just be a woman anyway? Thanks, society will always do that for me whether I want that or not so what's the fucking difference

[angeldiaries777]

the best revenge thats even better than karma is just leaving the person alone to deal with the awful person that they are by themselevs. bad people have to live with the burden of being awful those people are the real insecure ones. or they're sociopaths if they still continue to harm people but dont feel anything. i promise you what goes around will come around eventually. i dont believe in karma specifically actually but your actions will come back to you because everything you do has a consequence in this life and in this world. dont be surpised if acting like a narcissist with no charm or kindness gets no one to like you. i dont associate with bad people. something i learned the hard way this year isthat it does not matter how good your heart is or whateevr blah blah you have to actually be a good fckn person for me to allow you into my life. you are your actions as much as you want to pretend you're not you 100% are. i hate how shallow and egotistical society is nowadays everyone does everything for the approval of everyone else while also being way too self centered. sometimes thats okay but im tired of living that way. think what you want of me. my family and my friends and the people in this world that i care about and care about me know exactly who i am and love me for it. i dont care if none of this matters i know the reason i am still alive and on this earth is to be a good true person and i dont care how terrible and oblivious a lot of people are i will never stoop to their level. i dont want people to think of me and feel regret, fear, pain or a knot in their stomach i want people to think of me and think of a good person who does what she wants. yes peoples opinions of you dont matter more than your own and yes people are going to hate regardless sometimes but i wanna strive to be good to myself. i dont want to be another loser that doesnt try to be anything greater than mediocre. i am simply not wired like that. when i set my mind to something it always works out. everynight i go to bed with a clear conscience and pure heart and that is enough for me to continue work on myself and forgive myself. this post will sound contridictary to those who dont get it. but to those who get it it will click for you and make perfect sense. i realized who the fuck i am and the people i was putting on a pedestal didnt belong there at all. we all bleed. we all die. look around you and live life for what it is. stop being so in your own head. NOTHING IS REAL CREATE YOUR BEST LIFE WITH THE BEST PEOPLE AND LIVE. just live. sometimes things really are that simple

[makima-s-most-smile]

Oh... Oh no, watching Fool's Gold campaign part 30. (Starts hilarious and suddenly your heart gets ripped out) I am so normal about this. The talk between Gothi and Xanu... Spoilers jfyi

Gothi: It doesnt have to be that way. Xanu: Stop, being so naive, they are a threat. Gothi: I know they are a threat! I am pretty sure my face is a good indication of that. So don't you be so naive that I don't know that they are not a threat. Xanu: Yet you still defend them... Gothi: Because I don't want a genocide, there is no coming back from that, because you will no coming back from that. Xanu, there is not peace in revenge. The foreclaimers that tortured you are dead. You can wipe out this generation, too. But they still live with you, torturing you over and over again, forever. It doesn't go away. Unless, you let it go... Xanu: They kept me captive for 300 years! Gothi: i know Xanu: They tortured me! Gothi: I KNOW! I know- Xanu: And you want me to let it go! Gothi: Because you have to! Or it will kill you. Holding onto that anger and pain is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You have to move on. And I know it will be the hardest thing you will ever do in your life Xanu: Then how? How could I possibly do that... Gothi: Forgiveness. And true forgiveness, like I have Xanu: I can't. I can't. I am angry. I am so angry! Gothi: I know. And I am sorry. I am so so sorry. You are allowed to feel angry. But that anger will consume everything if you let it. So you must let it go. Because with time and care, you will heal. ... Gothi: The choice is now yours, Xanu? What are you willing to let go? The anger or me?

(They decide on a third option, between absolute genocide and letting the maniac empathyless society go on like it does.)

-

And since I am in Trigun hell... I was thinking about Knives and Vash and how they talk but don't communicate with each other.

Gothi tries to stop Xanu from his genocidal tactics. But not by being the defender of the foreclaimers, but by addressing Xanu's pain. It is not purely about the foreclaimers, but about saving her friend. Sure, the morality of genocide is not the way to go and such is in the whole talk and Gothi is vehemently against it, but Gothi knows where the core of the conflict lies and that is Xanu's trauma.

Vash is showing vulnerability, but also by focusing on being humanity's defender, he doesn't do that. Knives knows what he does it not the nicest thing to say the least. Knives does not care, because his hurt and anger is so much louder than any morality. And Knives needs his pain to be seen. Knives as a hurt person needs to be seen and addressed. Vash cares for his brother, but his focus is on humanity and Knives role as the one who is trying to kill it and Knives his hurting brother. That's why he doesn't get through his brother.

Vash has not the interpersonal experience nor maturity to bring across that he cares for Knives. Vash doesn't allow himself the space for anger. He can't have these selfish feelings for the whole Rem loves humanity shenanigans. (I am not saying, Vash should kill, but Vash should learn to defend his own agency and take control in his life. There is a saying that you need to love yourself before you can be loved. Because if you love yourself, you set boundaries, which deflects abusers.) His forgiveness does not feel like this "true forgiveness", for me at least. Vash martyrs for humanity and forgives the things they do to him. How many scars does he have to show that people betrayed him, shot him in the back and hunted him down? Vash doesn't process this trauma and adds new one to it again and again. (I mean, both brothers don't process their trauma. But Vash' way to deal with it is by putting all the agency and control into the other person's hand and putting himself into a pure reaction position that makes him open to get hurt and victimised. Knives on the other hand has an iron hold on control and restricts everyone else's agency. Both brothers are on the opposite ends of a spectrum.) Without showing his anger and let it have room, Vash takes a very important opportunity for himself and Knives to grow and communicate. He also takes away a connection they both could have. Both are so emotionally stunted and it is sad.

The Fool's Gold talk brings down the Knives' problem pretty well. There is no peace in revenge. There is also no safety in it. And our scared little hydrogen bomb baby needs that, safety. But he needs an equal for him to tell him that to his face and he has none. Gothi and Xanu are equals in that talk. It is also Gothi - the please don't genocide a whole race person - who reaches out to Xanu - rightful anger baby goes wrong. Like Vash does to Knives. But without showing his ugly emotions or his struggle with them, Vash is unable to find the connection point with his brother and thus can't get through to him.