#am i allowed to do what i want if society doesnt allow me to do what i need

[opens-up-4-nobody]

You don't understand how unhinged I feel trying to construct an ending for Bleach that I personally would enjoy while knowing Bleach does not deserve my time and also not remembering enough to actually make anything coherent. And yet here I am.

[rabdoidal]

idk how to express it but like. my mum asked me earlier "do you have initiative? you need to learn how to do things without people telling you" and idk how to tell her like. 1. i am autistic and a HUGE part of that is not having motivation or initiative in the traditional sense because its harder to read what people want from you, 2. i also have executive dysfunction with my depression, and 3. she is the reason why i have a lack of motivation! because my whole life when i Try to do things to help out, i either get confused or i do it wrong, and shes not patient with me and also doesnt explain things to me - and the worst part is 4. i dont know how to explain stuff to her without it feeling like an excuse, because when i speak plainly, she thinks im dodging blame, when im actually just trying to communicate my default settings and how im working on overcoming them because i live in a neurotypical society. when i dont contribute or help out because im scared of messing up, i am ridiculed and shamed, and when i do contribute, im not allowed to ask clarifying questions or ask for support, because then i am an idiot. and y'know what? its annoying to be told i have no motivation when right now is the time where i have the most self-driven motivation ive ever had

[our-trans-punk-experience]

What does it really mean to be a "Punk?"

I'm completely on board with the whole "beat the shit out of fascists and pigs" thing but I'm skeptical of any sort of subculture or group that celebrates values of any kind as "good" because I get pissy when confronted with concrete ideologies like Marxism. I'm scared that I'm going to end up getting into some kind of clique. I don't want to be in a clique where I get shat on for not having the morally approved opinion. If I can't have a controversial opinion without being silenced, then I don't want anything to do with "Punk."

I'm an Egoist. You're an anarchist, so, assuming you know who Max Stirner is, I'm pretty sure you know what that entails, but in case you don't, I put myself above all things. That's not to say that I'm a greedy bastard who wants to consume all the products ever, but that my own being and desires are the basis of my views on politics/society. I hate gender not merely because it oppresses all the poor minorities who need my help but because it gets in MY way, threatens MY life, and demands MY conformance to it. I want my damned life for myself. I want self-ownership. I see no legitimacy in the braindead wokeness of bougie college kids and chickenshit university profs. I want action in the here and now, not ineffectual Bookchinite/Leftcom/Marxist-Leninist meetings where we discuss how best to tickle the workers balls in the fallout of the USSR (which was an authoritarian shithole).

As a post-left anarchist (or preferably no-wing anarchist) I find myself skeptical of subcultures. "Oh, what's that? You don't like *band here?* Well you're automatically a poser/elitist/hipster/whatever." I understand that sometimes it's meant to pick out the actual posers by testing how thin your skin is, but it's really fucking annoying when people expect me to embody values like "don't do drugs" or "be vegan" because I refuse to define myself and my goals according to what other people deem morally correct.

I'm not really in a position to actually join a subculture at the moment because I'm a financially dependent minor, but I want you to give me an actual reason to join the punk subculture. Just so I can see if it's really worth it. What's in it for me, and how hard am I allowed to kick the balls of Nazi scum?

RIGHT!! Fuckin love it when i get asks like this

I'll split up my answer so I can get through all the points without rambling

Political Theory

SO punk does not have any one kind of coherent political ideology. Core political views are

anti-authoritarianism

non-conformist

abstractly leftist

fuck bigots of any description

you will not be bound to Marxism or any key thinkers beliefs. Your politics are your own and disagreement is encouraged as long as you arent being a dick. Of course you might find some punks that get pissy about ideological purity, but they aren't very punk, sooo fuck em. Bootlicking isn't punk, even/especially if the Boot is Lenin's.

Egoism

yeah egoist anarchism is just fine in the punk scene. as long as your "for my own ends" mentality doesnt end up tipping over into "I will go on a Shein haul twice a month bc I want new clothes and fuck anyone who tells me how damaging it is". You don't have to be a saint, just again, don't be a massive dick about it. You can look out for your own ends for sure. You will find that the punk scene often times talks about community, in the sense of solidarity and common goals (which you seem to share anyway), so as long as you can jibe with that you'll be fine

Non-conformity

Is the entire bloody point. If you're looking for a community that won't tell you that you have to look a certain way, or listen to 100 bands from the 70s to be accepted, the punk scene is built on nonconformity. not even just from society but within the scene. And even the big name bands from back in the day were screaming about the dangers of homogenising the punk scene, or letting it get commodified. Differences in opinion, style, music taste, ect are the whole fucking point and if someone tries to impose punk "rules" about that, then they don't get the scene.

"it's really fucking annoying when people expect me to embody values like "don't do drugs" or "be vegan""

i do drugs and am not vegan. you really don't need to worry. i really fear for the punk that says "don't do drugs". absolutist ideals should not be shoved on you.

"I'm not really in a position to actually join a subculture at the moment because I'm a financially dependent minor,"

Ok so while I get that possibly if you're financially dependent on people who would be able to mess up your life if you wore clothes they didn't approve of, and wouldn't buy you anything, it can seem difficult, but I want to just reassure you a bit. Punk is built off communities with financial difficulties, DIY, and more than just spiked collars. You don't have to be able to make it to basement shows or out to the city to be a punk. You can listen to the music (definitely listen to the music), get involved in politics, learn the history, watch movies, read books, DIY your own clothes and accessories, including smaller things like badges, patches or chains. The scene is the people as well as what we do.

how hard am I allowed to kick the balls of Nazi scum?

make them piss blood for weeks.

[yellowbluemoonshine]

How will Deku ‘save’ shigaraki at your end?

I think the answer is simple but also hard thing to do.

Shigaraki wants to be acknowledged by heroes, by society, by everyone. I think what would save Shigaraki is to be heard, to be understood, to show that his life matters too. For once. FOR GODDAMN ONCE, someone to care enough to prioritize saving him too.

Izuku could and WOULD relate to him because he knows whats it feels like to be outcast, someone who is not worthy or someone who is left behind. He knows what it feels like and he wouldnt let anyone feel the same way he did.

He would sempathize with Shigaraki and would actually listen to him. Why? Because Izuku wants to understand villains. Why? Because Izuku already learnt both by his own experiences and others, that there is something wrong with this society. Best way to show?

Not giving up on Shigaraki.

Even if it means, he has to go agaisnt his elders, teachers. Not because he doesnt care about the people Shigaraki killed or safety of the world. But because Deku is someone who would always prioritize the victim in front of him, despite everyone around him told him not to do that. Deku wouldnt give up on saving Shigaraki's life even if Shigaraki repeatedly refuses him. He would hesitate to kill him every single time, just like the same way Batman hesitated to kill Joker, except it would actually matter because Shigaraki is not Joker.

Well, yes. Deku is not Batman either. Batman has flaws too, but at least he was allowed to be invidual with personal feelings. Not robot who always do and say right things. Deku wasnt a character like this at the beginning but it seems after some point, author seems to give up his character. His past, his romantic feelings for Ochaco, his toxic relationship with his bully Bakugou, his full support for Shouto, his Goddamn father, literally everything about his character.

Everything that makes Izuku interesting (to me) disappeared after some point. Because Izuku we all know would save Shigaraki. He would call out his elders, just like he once called out Endeavour at the spor festival for Shouto's sake. Izuku wouldnt give up, just like the meaning of his hero name. He wouldnt give up, especially after he said 'He looked like he needs saving' after Shigaraki killed many people in front of him a few mins ago. Thats the whole point of his character and journey. Izuku would save Shigaraki no matter what.

(Bonus; I was also drawn to Izuku because he is infj, just like me. It was refreshing to see realistically written infj character, especially as main character.)

I already made a lot of posts in the past that explains why Izuku would and should Shigaraki. Too much, to the point i didnt even need to explain myself anymore. But well. Just like many other things, it is rushed and story failed to leave up to his own goal. 'The greatest hero'. This makes me sad because latest arcs ruined Izuku and Shigaraki's character the most. My two favorite characters.

I didnt write in too much details because i am tired but if this isnt enough, you can find hundreds of Bnha post in my blog about why Izuku would and should save Shigaraki.

[royal-they]

when discussing gwens transcoding i feel like people dont talk about how her being spider women is literally viewed as politics from the start.

people talk about her and the validity of her actions and choices in front of her even before peters death. her dad specifically questions how she dresses. why she need to hide behind a mask. the spider suit was made to hide the identity of the wearer yes but for gwen stacys spider woman thats always been different, even in the comics.

presenting the way she does keeps her safe when she’s gwen stacy but it also represents the choices she makes. her work as spider woman. its her badge. this line is something that always stuck with me in the comics and i love that they didn’t change it in the movie. her suit and mask are not hiding who she is, theyre an extension of it.

being trans makes how you present yourself very complicated at least in my experience. youre constantly worried around new people and strangers, do they think i look like a boy or a girl? am i passing? if im not passing am i safe? its really complicated, passing doesnt make you more or less valid but a lot of society views it that way and how people see you can change how safe you are. these things are nuanced is what im saying and i like how gwen is allowed to do what feels right for her regardless of what others think.

another point is how shes met with violence when she first essentially “comes out” as spider woman. even though its a loved one, her dad doesnt take it well. because of his duty to society he feels he cant accept her as spider woman.

so she has to run away from home. live with the people who do make her feel at home, her own band as she puts it. and only then, when she’s is able to stand on her own does she face her dad.

they both needed time. to work on themselves. and something important is that he stops being a cop. stops this duty he feels he owes to society to get rid of spider woman to protect their children.

only when he takes time to truly understand her perspective and actions is he able to accept her.

as trans people our identities are constantly considered something cis people and the government get to determine. but with spiderverse we see gwens story as being portrayed as a villian by society. we see it from her perspective. not her dads perspective. not miles, an outsiders perspective who has to come and fix everything. her own perspective. and in the end she doesnt want society to accept her. she just needs her dad. her loved ones. because shes never given a damn about outsiders, there’s never a focus on how some random j jonah jameson feels about her. they instead focus on her dad. because he is who hurts her. and for me at least that’s very relatable.

spider man in general is a very trans subject because society hates him and he has to disguise himself to stay safe. but gwen stacy as ghost spider or spider woman really stands out to me. because it feels so much more personal to get to spectate her life. she’s so real, so human. and that is essence of what makes a spidey.

[greenshi]

alright tell me about YOUR current favorite guy now

I AM FINALLY DOING THIS i have been. so distracted lmaooo. BUT I decided to do the guy in my icon, fifth member of weezer and best FE character, Python <3. He may not be the Number One guy in my brain right this moment, but that spot and most after it are all taken by OCs, so. We're doing him instead. Also because of this tag because I think you'd like this guy jort

ANYWAY, Python. My guy. He's a character from Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia, a recruitable archer early on in Alm's route.

Now, in Echoes, the class discrepancy between nobles and commoners is a prominent theme, especially in Alm's route. This is something that comes up in a lot of FE games, unsurprisingly, seeing as princes and thieves fight together side by side. And the games (at least those I've played, which is only FEA-FE3H. I know.) tend to handwave a lot of the more unsavory points of that topic. A lot of the time, conversations or supports that delve into that topic end in "yeah, being poor and starving sucks, but you know what also sucks? Being royalty! It's really hard :[" which, like, yeah, it is, but also one party here has the means to help the other, but is choosing not to instead say how their life sucks too, actually. Idk, these conversations always rubbed me in the wrong way a bit.

ALL THAT BEING SAID, Python is a commoner. And he doesnt buy any of that "being rich is hard too guys :[" shit for a Second. In his support with Clive (a nobleman knight who's opinion on the whole situation is "well some people have to be poor so I can be rich") he straight up tells him that his ideas on how society should be run are wrong and that his view on common people are condescending at best.

Python doesn't fight for honor or any sense of duty, he fights for his paycheck and his childhood friend who does feel that duty, Forsyth. Even if he and Forsyth disagree on many things, there's a mutual respect between the two, an understanding of their station, and a small rivalry between how to best navigate said station. Forsyth encourages Python to get out there, try things, put some effort into life. But Python just, doesn't see much of a point. But it's not for any depressive reason, or even straight apathy. Python just prioritizes rest and relaxation. He doesn't live to work, he has no dream job (which Forsyth takes as having no dream at all, not that Python would disagree), he just wants to enjoy his life; sleeping in the sun, having a few drinks, spending time with friends, and sharing stories and gossip.

Speaking of friends and gossip, I'm going to drop my favorite support of his, maybe even my favorite support in the whole game (even though its locked behind a dlc map like seriously what was up with this games dlc why is a support between two base game units behind a paywall-)

Going from this support, and the fact that neither of them have romantic endings, (Lukas' even saying he 'never wanted for companionship') this is a pretty clear attempt by FE at writing two aroace (or at least just aro) characters. And, idk, I think its really special. Neither are framed as missing out or needing another to be happy, the conversation is to the point and respectful, and they are both allowed to be full characters beyond this detail of their lives.

And that's a common thread through Python's character that I admire. In any other story, the character that had no want for big dreams, constant improvement, or romance would be framed as an empty person, someone deeply unhappy without anything to strive for. But, even as the other characters try and impose that narrative onto Python, that's never actually the case. He is happy as he is, doing just enough to be as comfortable as he can, taking rests and shortcuts all along the way. He will not sell his time more than he must, he will not work harder than he has to, he will not allow those who push themselves to breaking for those above them to guilt him into doing the same. He has nothing to prove, nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, the one time he could push himself, in his bad ending after Forsyth dies, *THAT* is when he is empty and miserable, fighting like his friend once did until his early, untimely death.

Python is just such a breath of fresh air. He was the one in my brain telling me say no to my boss long before Chilchuck, he is a character that not even FE has been able to write like that again (even when writing for him specifically, like his Heroes characterization is so off and bad augh). He is one of the very few canonically aro characters I can find, and I'm proud to have him napping in my icon for the foreseeable future.

[crystalis]

i hope ur feeling better. ik its hard that we live in such a shitty society and ik exactly how u feel. ive also never landed a job, cant drive, and barely have any kind of life experience at the old age of 25. please dont value urself based on what you can or cant provide for the shitty capitalist system, u are so much more than that. i may not know u personally but weve been mutuals forever and uve always remained such a sweet, empathetic person with an interesting character and i just have so many hopes for u. it doesnt matter if ur behind in life compared to your peers, its unrealistic to expect everyone to fit into a restrictive mold. i could go on and on about this but my point is: dont allow someone to dehumanize or lessen ur worth because of conditions out of ur control. u dont deserve that, no one deserves that. if u need resources on how to help urself id be more than happy to help, but i also dont want to intrude too much. and i hope to god tumblr doesnt cut off this ask i have no idea how many characters are allowed

thank you that means a lot.. its validating being reminded im not alone, i think part of what makes it so painful is the feeling that i am failing uniquely. or that im the only person in this sort of situation

it feels dificult to get out of the trap of self-sabotage. it's like any time i make some sort of progress, like leaving the house more (last year i was going on walks a lot, and me and my mom were going to the park every once in a while), i eventuallt take 2 steps back and i ended up pushing people in my life away and making myself more isolated

i know that things would be easier if i had close friends my age that could help guide me, but it's like i unconsciously respond to that by making myself friendless/guide-less.. i dont know how to articulate this very well.. it feels increasingly more difficult to climb out of a hole the deeper that you are, and it's like there's part of you that just wants to dig deeper until theres no escape

i hvae really intense social anxiety and a fear of humiliation and i get very overwhelmed by it when im alone in public spaces or when i think about getting a job. i know its very exacerbated by the fear of the unknown since ive never done interviews or had a job before, i never even had a 'first time' experience and it makes it so much worse for someone with intense social anxiety

and theres also that feeling that i am intruding in someone elses spaces / lives or their friend-groups.. i always think—what if my coworkers dont like me or think im awkward? or what if i make things more difficult for them because i mess things up, or what if im a bad worker and people talk about me. and it gets harder the older i get.. how can i explain how clueless/backwards i am at 26 years old, it's not like im a 16 year old that people expect to not know what theyre doing, you know

[notvictorhugo]

Okay so I'm very sorry about this, but as a STEM person I can't help but write this

Under the cut, a VERY long rant on the radio, science, and Dead Poets Society

Yesterday I (re)watched Dead Poets Society with my flatmate, and, among the many, many things I want to write about it, there is an (I believe) as yet untaken low-hanging fruit. It has to do with one of the earliest scenes, in which, right after the first day of classes, all the boys are in the common room. Some are chatting, some are studying, some are playing chess; but two of them are building a radio. Although it seems to be just one more nerd hobby, just like chess, I want to argue that it perfectly embodies many themes of the movie. Here's how:

To begin with, and perhaps most obviously, building a radio is not allowed, as is immediately made clear by the teacher who gets in: Meeks lies and says it's a science experiment.

But this is not, by far, the relevant aspect.

There's an exchange that appears a couple of times in the movie, in which someone mentions that Mr. Keating has an unorthodox way of teaching poetry, and he replies that he doesn't want to teach poetry, he wants to teach them to be free thinkers. To the students, he adds "suck on the marrow from the bone of life, live life to its fullest". Despite this, his lessons are (naturally, given his actual role and expertise) focused on literature: telling students to write their own poems, to kick a ball to embody the feeling of a couple of verses, and so on. These are also the lessons most students take: they join to read poetry and sing, arts in general, and they embody those arts in their lifes, as Neil and Nuwanda do. This is good, but, nominally, incomplete, as the very movie shows with the radio.

Because radios are not allowed at Hellton. But radios are very fun, especially in those days, so what do Meeks and Co do? They engage in creative, scientific jiggery-pokkery, take a bunch of scraps, and start working. Creating something out of nothing, putting their knowledge and experience to a good use (good by their standards, of course, not by the school's). Have you ever played with LEGOs? It doesnt feel too different from writing, although some people who are emotionally blind to one of them might have fun with the other.

And, once the radio is built, they call it "Freedom Radio". They reached the top of the mountain they wanted to climb, they set the flag, and they dance to its music.

But ask yourself this: after all this, do you think that their afternoons will be spent around the radio, listening to it, or will they go back to tinker something new? Does someone, once they reach the summit of a mountain, move there and build a house, or go back and climb a new one?

Meeks and Co dont build the radio because they want one, and so they are forced to go through the motions of building it. They could easily go to town, buy one, and sneak it in. It's very likely that some other students have done this. No, they do it because it's fun, because they want to, and, just like Knox uses his cycling skills to scare the ducks and say "I am here", or Neil his acting, or Newanda his performances, or Todd his writing, Meeks uses his science skills to create.

Now, of course, this is making mountains out of sand. It's just a few scenes. There was no need for me to pay this much attention to it.

Except, here's the most famous quote out of the entire movie:

We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

What I love about this is that the film's text explicitely challenges Keating on this in a fairly deep way: it shows that, despite everything, his concept of life, his concept of freedom, is limited. Not as limited as others', but limited in any case.

Of course, its a useful limitation. When these kids say they want to do engineering, or medicine, they mean "follow pop-pop's footsteps, live a Very Good Traditional American Life" and that's it, not go to a lab and rejoice studying bacteria and saving a couple of lives in the process. Pedagogically speaking, it is good to cut these kid's unbillical cords, so to speak. But it is a limitation nonetheless. And a dangerous one.

The acts of rebellion that do make sense in the characters' surroundings (an über-posh American school) cannot be freely translated to other surroundings (would Nuwanda have been so "good" in a standard school? Or just a jerk?). We all know people who get way more invested in the vibe they want to project instead of the actual thing they're supposed to be, like people who dont want to write, but be a writer. This is something that all of the characters (except, arguably, Todd and Neil, whose arcs are about the actual thing and not the image) fall into at some point or another, but, again, because of their surroundings, it is good, because being Rebellious in Hellton is a first step to actually being free.

But it doesn't apply to the vast majority of people who watch this movie, and who the writers want to teach. I want to argue that the radio is the key one should use to translate the movie's lessons to other audiences

[koiguy94]

Its a white man's world and the rest of us are only allowed to play.

Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion, so I am posting this in what I consider to be a neutral place where I can FUCKING vent.

All these Woke, BLM, LGBTQ movements are permitted to a certain extent, but when they start to truly interfere with the white man's world, they shut it down and the sad part is that they have the support as the recent election has proven.

It seems that you can only make it in this world if you align yourself with their interests, as you succeed - they must wet their beak. When you start to outgrow them, they will knock you down a peg or shut you out.

Racism, sexism and greed are disguised as patriotism, Christianity and conservative values. There is a core of beliefs that are deeply rooted into our society and when they feel we stray from them, they find a way to reel us back. They have no remorse for the way others feel as long as they are not affected themselves. The way they express themselves about the Black, Hispanic, Asian communities is disgusting. The way they claim rights over a woman's body is horrifying.

They dont care about tearing families apart, people taking their lives due to oppression. As long as it doesnt affect their life.

A friend of mine is an extreme red state supporter and sells himself as a devout Christian and patriot. He is also the most perverted person I have met (will not say it but will literally drool aftera woman). He also once told me that Slavery wasnt as bad as people tell it, that there were stories of slaves that decided to stay with their masters after slavery was abolished because they didnt have it bad at all. He says Democrats are evil, that Obama was the antichrist and that this was in the bible. Illegals are here to harm America, Blacks are victims of their own communities.

The sad part is that I have learned that there are millions of people like him, and only reveal their beliefs when someone passes the "test". In some ways they will refer to people of different cultures as "one of the good ones" if that person shares things in common with them.

They have generational wealth and control the economy and politics. We are led to believe that we are all equals and if we work hard we can be anything we want. What they dont tell us is that we are up against generations of networking and succession that only strengthens their power.

We work hard to have a good life and do well for ourselves but we as we grow and succeed, we must remember who's in charge if we are to keep playing the game or they will do it for us.

[edelgarfield]

the vast majority of the pro-god side of the fanbase argues that what ludinus is doing is tantamount to genocide and that criticizing the gods is making excuses why genocide is okay... and then they turn around and say aeor deserved it or argue that the kryn are pure evil

im sorry they're saying WHAT about the kryn.

lol im guessing this is like. "the kryn are evil so our favorite war criminal never did anything wrong" or smthn, knowing who this crowd is

but like presumably the criticism of the kryn is based in their hyper-religious society & the way religion & government is so heavily intertwined which is a valid criticism! and is a big component of why the gods are ALSO amoral. like it doesnt matter if you're "allowed" to be agnostic or choose or w/e if religion is so heavily ingrained in your society & government that you're still bound by its rules, with the threat of arbitrary punishment if you step out of line. so if they can understand that but still defend nuking aeor like. im honestly baffled.

the real kicker imo is as far as i can tell, the pro-gods' crowd moral code seems to be "whatever my blorbo thinks is right" with absolutely zero internal consistency so i am 1000% certain with the right framing or a different narrative these same people would be stanning ludinus. he's literally a tragic elf pretty boy, the only reason he's not being woobified to hell & back is bc he's not the main character + he's too old. like if we saw the story from ludinus's pov starting when he was a young, tragic elf twink these people's morals would crumble like wet tissue paper. he would get the essek treatment full stop.

i do not & will never understand people's justification for aeor & their ability to rationalize something so horrific. i made a post like this back when downfall was airing, but is this not the same webbed site that slammed oppenheimer for centering the white man's perspective over the actual victims? and then you're going to turn around and defend the gods bc they're ~family~????? genuinely i feel like this website is gaslighting me. i literally saw one popular blog defend the destruction of aeor bc they support nuclear disarmament. like cool then you must support the gods leaving exandria for good right. right??????? absolutely absurd argument when the gods are the ones holding all the nukes.

and then the false equivalencies "ludinus is the same bc molaesmyr" or what the fuck ever, like whatever your personal opinion of ludinus is pretending the situations in aeor & molaesmyr & the circumstances leading to their destruction are anywhere close to equivalent is just straight up dishonest and if you're going to pretend otherwise then you are refusing to acknowledge the power dynamics at play. if you can't even clear that bar then you need to go read up on basic sociology before trying to analyze any media.

like i don't want the gods to die. iirc ludinus himself has said he doesn't want revenge. he wants a future. he doesn't want a throne. he wants to protect exandria in the way the gods have failed to. and whether you believe that or not what gets me is like. all the gods have ever had to do to protect themselves from ludinus's plan is to just leave. that's what the betrayers wanted a thousand years ago & it's what ludinus wants now and if they're so damn worried and scared for their lives then just go, instead of asking humanity & bh and everyone to die for you. like i love BH & imogen & fearne & the burden that's been placed on them is so unfair. and for sure it's ludinus' fault for doing all this, but it's also the gods fault for asking it of them, for forcing people to fight & die for them bc they wont just leave. it makes me so so angry bc the gods have always had that option where the ppl of exandria don't. like if i truly loved someone and my choices were either to leave them forever, but know they'd live out a peaceful life, or stay and ask them to die for me? of course i'd leave. i think most people would. So how much can the gods' """love""" truly be worth if they aren't willing to do even that?

like i've said everything there is to say abt aeor & at this point im just wasting my breath, but this is an argument i've gotten into multiple times across multiple fandoms where other people will defend the mass slaughter of some fictional group of people and my response is always "what the actual fuck is wrong with you." the idea of killing any group of people for any reason is abhorrent & repulsive. I've gotten into this fight over the fucking vampires in BG3, I've gotten into it over x-men with mind control powers, I've gotten into it over aeor, I've gotten into it irl regarding the US South, and the Appalachians. this is clearly a hard line for me that I will never cross but for most people it seems that isn't the case and i have a lot of trouble reconciling that. it's repulsive & abhorrent and i don't understand how anyone with compassion could justify it even fictionally.

[kiwislayys]

Shatter me quotes that i am in love with ♡ ⊹

- I find my self thinking about warner too much , I remember his eyes and his odd kindness and his cruel calculating demeanor.

- Sometimes I think about glue, no one ever stops to ask glue how its holding up if its tired of sticking things together or worried about falling apart or wondering how it will pay its bills next week. Kenji is kind of like that

- “Dont go” he whispers eyes on my notebook again. “Please” he says. “ sit with me , stay with me i just want to see you , you don’t have to say anything “

- Just because i am going to hell , doesnt mean you will ever deserve her

- Hell is empty , all the devils are here

- I have no one to impress, no one who cares about what happens to me. I am not in the business of making friends love, my job is to lead an army and its the only thing i am good at. No one would be proud of the things I’ve accomplished, my mother doesn’t even know me anymore, my father thinks I am weak and pathetic, my soldiers want me dead , the world is going to hell and the conversations i have with you are the longest I’ve ever had.

- I’ve never claimed to be right or good or even justified my actions the simple truth is that i don’t care I’ve been forced to do terrible things in my life love and i am seeking neither your forgiveness nor your approval because i do not have the luxury of philosophizing over scruples when i am forced to act on basic instinct everyday

- Twice I’ve laid myself bare for you and all its gotten me was a bullet wound and a broken heart

- Do you never get exhausted being so wholly unbearable? You have as much charisma as the rotting innards of unidentified roadkill

- But i do know what its like to hide from the world i know what its like to live as though you don’t exist , caged away and isolated from society and i wont do it again

- Ignite my love , ignite

- All right , all right drama queen calm down and tell me about this classified business

- To the world she is formidable, to me she is the world

- Cant look at you , why not? , too pretty

- I want to remember to celebrate more. I want to remember to experience more joy i want to allow myself to be happy more frequently i want to remember forever this look on aarons face as hes bullied into blowing out his birthday candles for the first time.

-I am having a panic attack you inconsiderate ass

-I am not dramatic, my presence just commands a certain amount of attention.

-such unfortunate language , only those who can not express themselves intelligently would resort to such crude substitutes in vocabulary

♡ ⊹ ♡ ⊹ ♡ ⊹

[progressivemother]

How I Stay Productive as a Working Housewife & Mother to Two

Everyone wants to be productive in their day and have a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment at the end of the day. Our society has made it seem that unless you are employed outside the home you are not a productive member of society. This is simply not true. Whether you work outside of the home, in the home, or only a homemaker, you deserve to feel happy and appreciated.

Everyone should be satisfied with and proud of their home. Dont get me wrong; that doesnt mean only cleaning the house. It's taking care of the yard, the vehicles, and the outside of the home. Of course, everyone has pets and kids to care for as well.

Here are my tips for staying on top of things whether you work outside of the home or in the home.

1. Keep a routine and a schedule

I have a daily routine and a schedule. Of course, everything is flexible if it's needed. I am not strict in everything I do. But if you schedule a routine, the house practically runs itself.

I have a cleaning binder with daily, weekly, and monthly cleaning routines. I used these when I worked outside of the home and I have kept it while working from home. I will admit, it is definitely easier while working from home. You need to find something that works for you and create your own binder if that is something that works for you.

We have a daily schedule that is usually consistent. We have one for the school year and one for the summer. What I've come to find works great for me is an app where I can keep my schedule and the kids' all in one space. This helps me keep track. The kids have Synch Up watches that I can add schedules to so they can keep up on their own things. I do have an app with my schedule and an app where I can list anything extra I need to do that isnt on the normal schedule such as what monthly cleaning I am going to do that day, when to start a birthday cake or what needs to be bought that wasnt in the grocery delivery.

2. Do some chores and set up some things the night before.

I like to do a few things the night before to make my day easier.

• Empty all of the trash

• Pick up all of the clutter and put things away

• Reset the kitchen

• Put clothes and washing pod in washer

• Prepare any food needed for next day whether defrosting or premaking crockpot meal.

• Prepare kids' meals that don't involve cooking.

• Prepare pets' food for next day and check pets' water.

• Set up kids' videos (we have education time every morning)

• Choose outfit and jewelry

• Fill water bottle

• Refill toilet paper, paper towels, & hand soaps

• Prepare the coffee for the next day. (Our coffee pot has a time that we can set for it to brew)

• Put the dishes in the dishwasher and preset to wash during the night

• Get anything ready for next day, such as bills, knitting and groceries to do while working. So for you, it might be a briefcase or a coffee mug. If you are able to take care of things while working in between customers or calls (whatever it is you do), then do that if it is allowed by your bosses.

3. Get up early and go to bed early

I wake up every morning at 4am to start my day. I do not start work until 7am. I work from home so I can do a lot before that time. I exercise, do a piano session, drink my coffee and eat breakfast, and lastly I do most of my daily cleaning and most of my weekly cleaning. The rest can be done on breaks including my monthly cleaning.

You do what works for you and what helps you feel the most productive. It’s not so much when you get up, it’s your attitude when you do. I take a few minutes to get my mind and attitude right before I start my day. Purpose to have a good attitude and purpose to be a productive person.

Going to bed at a good time the night before helps with this. I am in bed by 8:30pm after meditation. Meditation definitely helps me wind down and fall asleep quicker and helps me wake up in a better mood. This habit is something I have taught my kids.

4. Get dressed as early as possible

Whether you take a shower/bath the night before or in the morning, it is important that you get ready for the day as soon as you can. I usually take a bath the night before. Since I clean, I stay in my cleaning clothes or pajames until I am mostly finished. I get dressed around 10am in the morning. I just feel more productive when I'm dressed. I don't wear makeup so this does make things easier. I do understand with toddlers it's more difficult but I made it work. Just do your best.

5. Have a calendar

We have a month calendar and a week calendar for anything we have plans for such as birthday parties or gymnastics. I have the app and I have a physical magnetic calendar on the fridge.

The app is for me and the calendar on the fridge is for the family. Everyone has a colored marker for themselves. There are also colors for family things, friends things, and pets.

6. Meal prep

A time-saving hack every mom should be doing is meal planning. It saves money and it makes making the meals much easier on yourself. We also have a magnetic week calendar for the meals. I have an app where I keep track of the meals but I also write it down on a physical calendar on the fridge.

7. Choose a day to prepare for the week.

Every Thursday, I sit down and go over the schedule, bills, and meal plan for the week. I pay the bills due and shop for the groceries to be delivered on Fridays.

This doesn't take me longer than an hour. We don't usually have much planned. It's the same schedule every day. Work, school, etc.

But choose a day that fits you best and go over everything that needs to be taken care of for that week.

8. Be Organized

My husband always makes fun of me and says I'm crazy because of how organized I am. I have binders for everything. Birthdays, bills, cleaning, house projects, etc. I also have the house organized. But the thing is, keeping things minimal and having as little in the house as possible helps me keep everything in it's place. The kids are taught, "don't put it down, put it away". I make sure I use that mantra on myself as well.

9. Schedule breaks and time for yourself

Give yourself little times during the day to have a break. Grab a cup of coffee or a snack, go for a walk. Reward yourself for productive periods of time. You will be much more likely to finish a task after you have a break. Taking time for yourself doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you a happier and better mom. I do my exercise in the morning and my meditation and a bath in the evening.

10. Say "no"

This is so important for everyone who works from home, works outside of the home, or is a homemaker. There are times when saying "no" is just what you have to do. You have a schedule and most likely, so do your friends. Schedule time for friends. You have children and you have your husband that you also need to spend time with. Luckily, my friends and I understand this about each other. We are all working mothers who prefer spending time with family on the weekends. Sometimes, we will all get together on the weekends doing family things with friends but it's rare. Mostly, we will choose a time we have lunch break and eat lunch together or sit at the park talking. We get our social time in and we still are able to focus on our schedules and families.

11. Put your phone down and limit all media

We, as parents, need to learn to put our phones down to spend more time with our children and to stay productive. Think about it. We can sit on a phone and get distracted and before we know it, 30 minutes or an hour has gone by and we havent done anything.

In my house, we limit screen time for the kids and the parents. We also do not allow the news or politics in our home. We have realized that it is only distracting and toxic. It doesnt have any use to us, in this time, in our home.

12. Dont procrastinate

For me it is not helpful to continue to worry about how I feel and my struggles. There is a time and place for that. We can all get overwhelmed with our duties, our jobs, our kids, etc. We tend to just sit there in our thoughts and whine about how we don't want to do laundry or cook dinner. Just do it. Things just need to be done. If it doesn't get done, then later on, it will only be more overwhelming to us because there is more work to be done. I try to get things done as efficiently and joyfully as possible so that I can more energy for things that I actually want to do.

Times have changed alot since the early days of being a housewife. A wife and mother has many responsibilities, but they can be achieved with luck and planning. Creating a schedule that works for you and your family is the catalyst for success. Celebrate your wins and always do your best. Everyone has good days and bad days. Don't be afraid to ask for help or have your kids do chores. Do not worry about being perfect. You only need to do you best.

[scifriskyxy]

The reason we dont have a culture anymore is because the lgbtq,feminist, black lives matter movement, the me too movement the destruction of the family unit, the destruction of friendships,gate keepers

The fact that people get angry at the american flag,the people that get angry at it, destroyed the american culture. Those are the people ,the people who protest on japans culture, those are the people that have destroyed our society, they are a mix of americans and immigrants, the people we call tourist where the ones that destroyed us, the rich snobs ,those who act rich,the children that are spoiled rotten desytoyed us ,the parents that said "i wont do what my dad did" the people that want to stop the generational trauma altogether,in some ways thats great but however trauma teaches us, it humbles us it warns us on whats dangerous

The MOCKING of christianity is the disrespect,the lack of chivalrous men,the stock piling of wealth ,the lack of proper justice, the men and women that trap their spouse into paying for a child that for men likely isnt theirs and so much more

A culmination of all these things

The only actual culture left are the hillbillies, the florida man , the motorcycle gangs,rednecks

These people, as far as i can tell, are one of the few people left with the american spirit , with a culture that survives being named and will survive persecution. Why? Because a lot of these people are veteran alot of these people fought for our countries they know what america means

How did this start? You wonder,well

For me as far as i can tell it started when americans began to call themselves african american it started with slurs it moved to women more and more leaving the home life ,it began with trends that didnt unify us it began with trends that divided us

I do not know how my home land my borinquen is today...i had to leave it due to reasons outside of my control, but when i was there ,there was unity, there was love there was respect ,it wasnt always the best

I could join in the fun myself due to being isolated in an apartment looking down at the happenings i still watch from phisical isolation. Now that i am on the ground, i am in america. All i see is a desolate desert

Dull colors, vast open roads, ghosts whispers of a past that was slowly bit by bit torn to shreds all thats left ,is drugs,sex endless rants, whimps that cry victim, people that blindly trust blindly blame blame blame,conspiracy theories and people divided glaring at eachother,endless secrets and a rabbit hole of depravity that doesnt end...it feels like the pits of hell and its gates are opening

People see it but do nothing because it 'not their problem

Im scared... I do not know what i can do. We've tried everything, and things aren't changing fast enough if things dont change FOR the better ,the monsters ,the predators amongst us the inhuman people amongst us the most deprived twisted beings that are being protected that we arent allowed to harm will harm us we cant protect ourselves,the children are being raised and born to be worse than the last generation

What can we do?

We can't do anything because we suffer from a cycle. Many places have managed to slow the cycle down,we are being fought over by two sides, and we do not know ,i do not know the reason but we are seen as a comodity for whatever reason ,is it our souls? Is it our attention? We never had a choice. We were never given one WE, who never had a voice

What would you choose ,Satan or god

It's a red herring... or so it feels like it to me,

It's either god or suffer,come to me, my child, or be destroyed ,blindly trust me child or suffer,we never had a choice jesus made that choice for us,one man one person made the choice for an unfathomable amount of lives ,hes the king hes all...and what are we?...he says we are kings and queens but are we? I stare at the angels. Did they have a choice? I look at the Bible, and i stare up at the stars , i yearn to be free, we are so close to it...and we are being struck down by something we can't comprehend something all powerful, something we cannot fight against no matter how hard we try,something we cannot escape from even in death

So many people silenced blindly trusting and distrusting

I wish deeply to ask jesus a question

Why does he blindly believe a father that was never there for him, a father that technically assaulted his mother that tained something so sacrilegious as a marriage? I understand why he didn't choose to side with Satan, but why, God, when he had a choice, a choice never said, choose neither... and choose everyone

I know my questions will land me in hell, all I hope i figure out my own way out somehow sometimes you must ask for help I know but sometimes that help comes with a price

All I want... all I crave is freedom ,no hellish jail, no collar and chain,no strings, no judgment

Why... do I crave this so badly that my body has goosebumps

I crave to create. I crave to explore the abyss of the cosmos I crave to learn,I CRAVE THE TRUTH

The more I look up, the more that dream is fading the more I see what God has done... the more I see dead or dying stars devastated planets ...has it always been this way? Or is this God's doing

If there's a father... where is the mother... who is the mother? There must be a mother out there, right?

I may be scared... but I must keep moving. I can not stop. I MUST break through no matter how much pain and how much suffering I must stay determined. I do not want to fight. All I want is freedom. Hurting someone is the last thing I want to do, so I place a shield upon myself. What color will it be? I do not know. I do not care. All colors are beautiful, hope, and love where given to me I will not allow God to take it away a gift is a gift after all and I accept your gift you shouldn't be expecting anything in return perhaps one day I'll be able to give back

.

.

.

Just Believe

[mo0l]

drinking my chocolate milk and hugging my teddy bear and i stare into my computer screen seeing so many faces staring back not communicating and i tear up because i want to know them but they dont share my desire, theyre caught up in a cope that allows them to live day to day, denying deep urges for meaning and community and i harden too over the years because i want to be like them but i never fully lose touch with that baby i am and i look in the eyes of others and get scared to see that they have in fact lost touch, aimless drive carries their feet and the people that are actually like-minded to me sit around me, dressed the same, acting the same, wanting and using these excuses to sit next to each other and they work, some of us talk amongst this grouping, we desire play to facilitate an excuse for more closeness, we kiss, we fuck, we fuck up, the naive and deeply hurt hurt each other more, the deeply hurt also accrue enough experience to never hurt anyone to a meaningful degree ever again, everyone is at different points of desperately trying to break through and people seem to only match up when theyre on substances together so we take substances and we fuck and we do anything, cut, mock, spill embarrassing thoughts during what this broken society's frameworks would call a personality disorder episode, why doesnt everyone have a personality?

[nahalism]

Do you ever have moments of deralization?? If so, how do you deal with it? I find that I have to be present in life but I struggle because when I am present I still feel detached like I can’t believe my life (not negative or positive,just neutral)

more so in the past than currently & it was in relation to other dissociative tendencies — mainly depersonalisation.

i dealt with it through acceptance. i know all of these experiences can be labeled as 'disorders/mental illness' but i find that dangerous. cause (e.g)— just because im depressed doesnt mean what i experience whilst im depressed isnt reality. if i start to believe that what i feel, and what i think in reaction to the world is 'just my disorder' or a symptom of insanity and not my genuine truth in relation to the moment before me, a split will be created between the disorder im experiencing and my self which is the experience. people were constantly trying to convince me i was living in a delusion, 'its not you, its the 'insert disorder'', which i found invalidating & i felt was deeply untrue. i saw the disorder as a narrow lens, and felt that there had to be a reason i was seeing the world through that lens. it had to be showing me something or given to me as reflection of something id learned through an experience id had, and so whilst it wasnt the entirety of who i was it was a part of who i was. thus, if i wanted to master it i had to embrace that and understand that so i could wield it rather than it wield me. — as i did that, and embraced the 'disorders' i was experiencing, as well as my thoughts & my feelings (mainly a lack of them). i allowed them to be true for me and validated my narrative of the world around me through my experience of them. i sat with everything and allowed myself to really be present with what i found, and internalise it.

[that looked like letting myself dissociate without resistance & i letting the world around me feel foggy and out of my reach, or letting time pass whilst i stood/sat somewhere unable to feel myself/my body or how long i was there for].

what i found was that my psyche was using this 'disorder' to protect me from ptsd & feeling everything i was aware of / becoming aware of but had not yet processed. as i continued surrender to where i was and accepted every part of that experience as my own real and valid truth, i was slowly able to question what i was being shown by myself in that moment. i observed my perspective & the emotions that arose in correlation to what i was experiencing & i used the combination of the two to understand how i got to that point & why i was having the experience i was having. (basically unpacking trauma & the blueprint i was operating off of). as i observed falsehoods from my past i was able to unlearn them without convincing myself they were false or that i was to blame, because i could see what was happening through an objective lens. that let me change the rules of the game of my life. because by seeing my self and my past through the dissociated lens, i was granted not only that objectivity but an intuitive feeling of 'this wasnt right', 'this wasnt my fault' which i learned from observation was being shown to me each time i would feel my body shut off from me. so i took that information & applied it, thinking 'if i were to redo this, this isnt how i would choose for things to be, so how would i choose them to be?'. — the whole experience felt like it came to help me unlearn my past, and refocus on what i felt called to do instead rather than what i felt like i had been doing or had to do or/was programmed to do (not even by society per se but due to familial roles that we base our morality/centre of self off of, or even what id internalised about myself due to certain events).

because of this, i could begin to operate in my own world again. but that world wasn't a different world than the one i felt dissociative in — it was an expansion of it! & it was being in my own world that saved me because i could process what was unprocessed and realign with my own centre of truth whether mentally or emotionally, rather than force myself into alignment with a world that didnt and wouldnt fit for me. it came at a cost cause i went mia at university & my jobs at the time in order to do it, but i didnt and still dont regret that. the freedom i felt in shedding weight that didnt belong to me or that i couldnt/didnt want to carry is something i aspire to uphold to this day, & deeper than that i prioritised myself & my sanity!!!!! (which is all u actually need in order to sustain living a real life & provide for yourself). — im still very spaced out at times. someone referred to it as alice in wonderland syndrome the other day. but i embrace it & dont wish to change it.

the real question, are people really neurodivergent or just different/having different responses to the stimuli the world throws at them? dont let labels other you, or put you in a box that you feel you have to work to get out of. the reality you face is just as valid as the reality of any other person, ant or, goat. just because people dont understand where your at or maybe you dont understand where your at doesnt mean it isnt valid & necessary. — if you dont like your current experience, thats another thing & growth is always possible. but accepting that tour growing from where you are, not into what you want to be is huge for overall peace of mind. fundamentally, we are all human beings having a human experience. we feel what we feel, think what we think, and experience what we experience for a reason! there is always a reason. — sending my love. u can always dm if u wanna talk <3

[angeldiaries777]

the best revenge thats even better than karma is just leaving the person alone to deal with the awful person that they are by themselevs. bad people have to live with the burden of being awful those people are the real insecure ones. or they're sociopaths if they still continue to harm people but dont feel anything. i promise you what goes around will come around eventually. i dont believe in karma specifically actually but your actions will come back to you because everything you do has a consequence in this life and in this world. dont be surpised if acting like a narcissist with no charm or kindness gets no one to like you. i dont associate with bad people. something i learned the hard way this year isthat it does not matter how good your heart is or whateevr blah blah you have to actually be a good fckn person for me to allow you into my life. you are your actions as much as you want to pretend you're not you 100% are. i hate how shallow and egotistical society is nowadays everyone does everything for the approval of everyone else while also being way too self centered. sometimes thats okay but im tired of living that way. think what you want of me. my family and my friends and the people in this world that i care about and care about me know exactly who i am and love me for it. i dont care if none of this matters i know the reason i am still alive and on this earth is to be a good true person and i dont care how terrible and oblivious a lot of people are i will never stoop to their level. i dont want people to think of me and feel regret, fear, pain or a knot in their stomach i want people to think of me and think of a good person who does what she wants. yes peoples opinions of you dont matter more than your own and yes people are going to hate regardless sometimes but i wanna strive to be good to myself. i dont want to be another loser that doesnt try to be anything greater than mediocre. i am simply not wired like that. when i set my mind to something it always works out. everynight i go to bed with a clear conscience and pure heart and that is enough for me to continue work on myself and forgive myself. this post will sound contridictary to those who dont get it. but to those who get it it will click for you and make perfect sense. i realized who the fuck i am and the people i was putting on a pedestal didnt belong there at all. we all bleed. we all die. look around you and live life for what it is. stop being so in your own head. NOTHING IS REAL CREATE YOUR BEST LIFE WITH THE BEST PEOPLE AND LIVE. just live. sometimes things really are that simple