#am I showin my age?

[aceacebabes]

MadameWeb.MP4

Oh boy howdy here comes another one... this time the victim of my ire and revenge is Just_as_Gray's itsy bitsy Arakia. I'm a sucker for a gloomy gothic vibe if you couldn't tell

This song was definitely not playing in my head on loop the entire time haha what I don't know what you're talking about

[starspirals]

why cant i buy a full length sweater anymore why is everything cropped!!!!

[mssalo]

taste

Pairing: Neighbor!Older!Joel x Reader

Summary: After moving in next door, you've slowly chipped away at Joel's gruff exterior, turning his grumbling into smiles. One night, as you show up at his door with your usual charm, the playful teasing between you two shifts into something much more intense. When Joel finally gives in to his burning desire, he can't help but get lost in your sweetness, leading to a night filled with heated passion and uncontrollable cravings.

this is my first post, `m scared

Warnings: 18+. Explicit content. Unprotected sex. Age gap. Oral sex (female receiving). Intense dirty talk. Obsessive behavior. Protective dominance. Reader has she/her pronouns and a vagina(lol), Detailed descriptions of physical intimacy. MDNI (Minors Do Not Interact).

· · ───────────𖥸──────────· ··

The sun had dipped below the horizon by the time you reached Joel’s porch, the sky a tapestry of deep oranges and purples.

It had been a while since you moved in next door, and over time, you’d chipped away at the gruff exterior of the man who now occupied far too many of your thoughts.

He wasn’t one for casual conversation or easy smiles—except, it seemed, when you were around.

You knocked lightly, and the door swung open almost immediately. Joel stood there, his broad frame filling the doorway, his usual scowl softening just a little when he saw you.

“Evenin’, darlin’,” he greeted, his voice a deep, gravelly rumble that always sent a shiver down your spine.

“Hey,” you replied, stepping inside with a smile that you knew got under his skin. “Miss me?”

Joel closed the door behind you, shaking his head, though a faint smirk tugged at his lips.

“You never give me much of a chance to miss you. You’re always showin’ up.”

You flopped onto his couch, making yourself comfortable as you flashed him a playful grin.

“You’re lucky I do. Imagine how quiet your life would be without me.”

“Quiet, maybe,” he muttered, his voice low and rumbling as he leaned against the wall, his dark eyes watching you with an intensity that made your heart skip. “But peaceful too.”

You rolled your eyes, unfazed by his teasing. “Yeah, right. You’d miss me if I stopped coming around, and you know it.”

A low, almost inaudible laugh escaped him, the sound deep and throaty, though his gaze lingered on you with a kind of burning curiosity.

“So, what brings you here tonight? Bored?” he asked, his voice carrying a rough edge, casual but with a hint of sharpness.

You shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe I just wanted to see my favorite grumpy neighbor.”

Joel raised an eyebrow, a flicker of something darker in his gaze.

“That so?”

You grinned, leaning back on the couch and stretching out a little.

“Yeah. Besides, I think you secretly love having me around. Admit it.”

He shook his head, a soft grunt escaping him.

“You’re trouble, that’s what you are.”

You laughed, watching him from beneath your lashes. “Trouble, huh? I think you like trouble more than you’re letting on.”

His jaw tightened, the raw, darkened intensity of his voice rising.

“You’re too young to be throwin’ yourself into trouble like this,” he said, his voice rough and strained.

You tilted your head, smiling up at him, your voice dropping a little lower.

“Maybe I’m not the kind of trouble you think I am. Maybe I’m exactly what you need.”

Joel’s eyes darkened further, his posture stiffening as he shook his head again.

“Damn it, darlin’, you don’t know what you’re askin’ for.”

You leaned forward, catching his gaze and holding it. “Why don’t you tell me?”

He stared at you, his eyes tracing over your face and down the curve of your body.

When he finally spoke, his voice was a low, rough whisper, each word laden with unspoken desire.

“You’re beautiful, you know that? Always have been.”

Your heart stuttered at the unexpected compliment, but you didn’t let it show. Instead, you tilted your head, offering him a playful smile.

“You’ve never told me that before.”

“Because I shouldn’t be sayin’ it,” he muttered, his voice thick with emotion as he stepped closer, looming over you.

“But damn if I haven’t been thinkin’ it since the day you moved in.”

You swallowed hard, your pulse quickening. “Joel…”

“I’ve been dreamin’ about this,” he admitted, his voice dropping to a gravelly whisper as his fingers brushed against your cheek, trailing down your neck.

“Thinkin’ about how good it’d be to touch you like this.”

Your breath hitched, his touch sending waves of heat through you. “You have?”

“Every damn night,” he growled, his voice deep and throaty with desire.

“Every time I see you, all I can think about is how bad I want you. In every way.”

The raw hunger in his voice made your stomach flip, but you tried to stay composed. “So what’s been stopping you?”

Joel’s jaw clenched, his hand dropping to your thigh, squeezing lightly. His voice, though rough and strained, was filled with raw longing.

“You’re too damn young, too damn good for me. I shouldn’t want you like this.”

You arched an eyebrow, your voice soft, teasing. “But you do.”

He groaned, the sound deep and resonant as his fingers tightened on your leg.

“Yeah, I do. More than I can stand, sweetheart.”

You bit your lip, trying to keep your voice steady even though your body was practically humming with anticipation. “Then what are you waiting for?”

For a heartbeat, Joel stayed still, his eyes searching yours as if looking for a reason to hold back.

But when he found none, a low, guttural growl rumbled from deep within his chest. He surged forward, capturing your lips in a kiss that was hard, rough, filled with the intensity of every moment he’d spent holding back.

His hands roamed over your body, fingers slipping under your shirt, grazing your skin with rough, calloused palms.

You moaned into his mouth, your hands tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer, the kiss deepening with every passing second.

When he finally pulled back, his breath was ragged, his voice thick with desire as he looked down at you.

“Goddamn, you’re so fuckin' beautiful,” he muttered.

“Hot as hell, too. Been dreamin’ about you like this… and it’s even better than I imagined.”

Heat flushed through you at his words, your body aching for more as he hovered over you, his hands still exploring.

“Yeah? What else have you been dreaming about?”

Joel’s voice dropped to a rasp, his hand sliding up your thigh, gripping just above your knee.

“You. Spread out under me, lookin’ at me like you are right now. Spread open—showing me that sweet fucking pussy. Beggin’ for me to touch you.”

Your heart pounded as his words sank in, the sheer intensity of his desire making your head spin.

You arched into him, your voice breathy as you teased, “Who says I’m gonna beg?”

He smirked, his fingers trailing higher, teasing the edge of your shorts.

“We will see, darlin’. But for now I’m gonna give you everything you’ve been wantin’.”

With one smooth motion, Joel tugged your shorts down, his hand immediately finding your pulsing heat, under your baby blue panties, fingers slightly teasing you as he watched your reaction with dark, hungry eyes.

You gasped, your back arching as his fingers worked you slowly, deliberately, purposely.

“Jesus, Joel,” you moaned, your hands clutching at his arms as he continued to tease you, his mouth trailing hot kisses down your neck.

“You’re—fuck—so good.”

He groaned against your skin, the sound low and possessive, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered,

“I’ve been dreamin’ of hearin’ you say my name like that. You’ve got no idea what you do to me, darlin’. You’re perfect. Fuck.”

His praise sent a rush of heat through your body, your breath coming in short, desperate gasps as his fingers moved with skill around your clit, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

When his lips found yours again, you were lost, drowning in the sensation of him, the feel of his hands, his mouth, and the deep, gravelly sound of his voice in your ear as he murmured,

“You’re so damn beautiful. Can’t believe I waited this long. So stupid.”

You whimpered, your body trembling beneath him as he pushed you closer and closer, his fingers working you in perfect rhythm until you couldn’t take it anymore. “Joel, I—”

He growled softly, his hand tightening on your thigh as he kissed you hard, but right before you reached that sweet high, his fingers stopped.

You gasped, the sudden absence of his touch leaving you in a daze, your body aching with the need for more.

“Need to taste you, baby. Been wantin' it so bad.”

Joel’s lips trailed a heated line from your mouth down to your neck, each kiss a tantalizing brush of warmth against your skin.

His touch was deliberate, his breath hot and uneven as he moved lower, his eyes dark with desire.

His hands gently pushed your thighs apart, his touch sending shivers through you as he settled between your legs.

His breath hitched slightly, a deep, hungry growl escaping him as he looked up at you, his eyes full of a possessive, smoldering heat.

“You’re so damn beautiful,” he rasped, his voice low and thick with need, as he pressed soft, lingering kisses to the inside of your thigh.

The feeling of his lips so close to where you needed him most made your breath catch, anticipation and excitement building in the pit of your stomach.

With a deliberate slowness, Joel’s lips found their way to your most intimate place.

His breath against you was warm, each exhale a tantalizing caress that made you shiver with anticipation.

He paused for a moment, his face mere inches from your core, taking in your scent—the musky, sweet aroma that was uniquely you.

Joel inhaled deeply, his nostrils flaring as he savored the intoxicating smell of you.

The scent was heady, rich with the essence of desire, and it made his pulse quicken and his entire body shudder with a primal hunger.

He let out a low, shuddering breath, the sound escaping him in a groan of deep satisfaction.

The scent, so personal and intimate, filled his senses, amplifying his desire as he felt every inch of his control slipping away.

His breath against you was hot and uneven, his entire body trembling slightly as he tried to hold back the feral need surging through him.

Joel’s eyes were dark with a mixture of awe and lust as he looked up at you, the sight of your flushed skin and the way you responded to his touch only heightening his desire. He could feel the raw, primal urge to taste you, to fully indulge in the intoxicating aroma that was driving him wild.

Unable to resist any longer, he pressed his lips to you, his tongue flicking out to taste the sweet, heady flavor that had been teasing him.

The taste was as intoxicating as the scent, and it drove him to growl deeply, his voice resonating with a rough, satisfied tone as he continued to explore you.

“oh fuck,” he muttered, his voice a low, guttural rasp, “you taste so fuckin` perfect, I can’t get enough.”

His tongue danced over your sweet clit with relentless hunger, sucking and licking. As he savored every part of you, he couldn’t help but rut against the couch in desperate frustration.

The intensity of his arousal was almost unbearable, and he found himself grinding against the cushion, the friction only adding to his mounting desire.

Joel’s grip on your thighs tightened, his fingers digging in as he continued to taste you even deeper with greedy fervor.

“fuck, you’re drivin me insane with this sweet pussy”

he growled into you, his voice thick with a mix of desperation and obsession.

“I can’t get over how goddamn perfect you are. `been wanting this for so long, and now that I have you… I can’t stop.” he says, slurping loudly, messy.

Your body responded instinctively to his touch, every flick of his tongue, suck between his plump lips and every rough breath only heightening your own pleasure.

The sound of his low, desperate growls, the way his body moved against the couch, all combined to create an atmosphere charged with raw, unrestrained passion.

Joel’s movements became more frantic, his tongue working you with an almost frantic intensity.

“you have no idea what you’re doin` to me,”he rasped, his voice hoarse with need.

“I’m fucking obsessed with you.”

His admission only fueled your desire, your body trembling with each touch and taste as you responded to him with equal fervor.

And as Joel continued to lose himself in the sensation, rutting against the couch with an almost animalistic need, it was clear that nothing would stop him from savoring every moment of this intoxicating connection.

Joel's tongue moved relentlessly against you, each stroke deliberate and filled with a raw, insatiable hunger.

His deep, guttural growls reverberated through his chest, the sound mingling with the muffled cries that escaped your lips. His face was buried between your legs, and he showed no sign of slowing, his need to taste every inch of you driving him to a fever pitch.

"y` taste so good," he groaned, his voice thick with desire as he lapped at you with unrestrained enthusiasm.

"I can’t get enough of you. so sweet, so perfect, I just want to make you cum all over my tongue, baby."

The heat of his breath, the way his tongue worked you with an almost frenzied intensity, pushed you closer and closer to the edge.

Every flick of his tongue, every rough, needy groan, drove you wild. Your hands gripped his hair, pulling him closer, your back arching as you tried to chase the growing pressure that built in your core.

"Joel, oh god," you whimpered, your voice breathless and desperate.

"I’m so close. Don’t stop, please—"

His growl was a low, primal sound, vibrating through your entire body.

“that’s it, darlin’,” he rasped, his voice muffled but still filled with that familiar rough edge.

“let me hear you. I wanna feel you come apart for me. I want you to lose yourself, to give it all to me.”

With every word, every sound, Joel drove you closer to the edge. His tongue flicked and circled your clit with a masterful touch, pushing you right to the brink. Your body was on fire, every nerve ending screaming with the pleasure he was giving you.

The heat between your legs was overwhelming, a wave of sensation that crashed over you in a relentless tide.

“Joel, I—” you began, but the words were lost in a broken cry as he pushed you over the edge. 

Your orgasm hit with a force that took you by surprise, your body convulsing as the pleasure surged through you.

You gasped, your breaths coming in ragged, desperate gasps as Joel’s tongue continued to work you through the climax, savoring every shuddering response you gave him.

“that’s it, darlin’, come for me,” Joel urged, his voice rough and strained as he lapped at you with feverish intensity.

“feel it, let it all out. I want you to come all over my face.”

His words, combined with the relentless pressure of his tongue, drove you to a second, even more intense peak.

You cried out, your hands gripping his hair tightly as the waves of pleasure rolled through you. Your body trembled, your thighs quaking as he kept his relentless rhythm, his own breathing heavy and ragged as he tasted every drop of your release.

When you finally came down from the high, your body still shivering with aftershocks, Joel’s touch softened, his movements more tender now as he kissed and licked you gently, savoring the last remnants of your orgasm.

His eyes were dark with a mixture of satisfaction and possessiveness, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

“you were amazing,” he murmured, his voice husky and filled with admiration as he looked up at you.

“so perfect, darlin’. I could taste you all night.”

Your breathless, sated smile met his gaze, and you reached down to cup his cheek, your fingers brushing softly over his skin.

“you know how to make a girl feel special,” you whispered, your voice still tinged with the lingering effects of your climax.

Joel’s breath was ragged, his gaze locked onto yours with a possessive intensity that made your heart race.

He pulled back slightly, giving you a moment to catch your breath. But the desire in his eyes never wavered; if anything, it deepened. 

“you’re so fuckin` hot,” he growled, his voice a low, rough rasp.

“- every inch of you. I need to be inside you, to feel you wrapped around me.”

You could barely respond, your body still trembling from the aftershocks of your climax.

But the need in Joel’s eyes drove you to beg.

“please, Joel,” you whispered, your voice filled with raw need. “- want you so bad. I need you to fill me up. please, give me your cum.”

His gaze darkened further, a shudder of anticipation running through him.

He reached down, positioning his cock at your entrance once more.

“fuck, you’re so eager,” he muttered, his voice thick with lust.

“- you want me inside you, huh? want me to claim you, hm?”

“yes,” you moaned, arching into him, your body aching for his touch. “I want you to fill me, to make me yours. don’t hold back.”

Joel’s eyes were burning with an intense, almost feral hunger as he began to push into you, his cock stretching you deliciously. “you’re mine,” he growled, his voice rough with need.

“every inch of you belongs to me.”

You gasped as he thrust deeper, the sensation of him filling you completely sending waves of pleasure through your body.

“Joel, you feel so amazing,” you moaned, your voice trembling with desire.

“I’m so close. I want you to make me come again. I need your cum inside me.”

His pace quickened, each thrust deliberate and powerful.

“you want it that bad, huh?” he growled, his voice a low rumble of satisfaction. “you want me to fill you up, to mark you as mine?”

“yes, Joel, yes,” you cried, your voice desperate.

“I need you to come inside me. make me yours. I want to feel you. I want to feel your cum.”

Joel’s movements became more urgent, animalistic, his breath coming in short, ragged bursts.

“you’re so perfect,” he groaned, his voice rough and filled with possessive pride.

“so fucking tight. I’m gonna give you everything you’ve been begging for.”

His pace picked up, each thrust driving him deeper into you, the rhythm steady and relentless.

“fuck, so good,” he growled, his voice a deep rumble of satisfaction.

“you’re mine, darlin’. every time I see you, every time I touch you, I want to remind you just how much I need you.”

With a final, powerful thrust, Joel let out a guttural growl, his cock throbbing as he came inside you, the warmth of his cum filling you completely.

“fuck,” he moaned, his voice strained with pleasure.

“I’m never letting you go. you’re mine.”

You moaned loudly, your body trembling as you felt his release, the sensation pushing you to the edge once more. “Joel, yes,” you cried, your voice breaking with the intensity of your pleasure.

“you’re making me come again. I —”

Joel’s arms tightened around you, his movements slow and deliberate as he rode out his orgasm.

“that’s it,” he growled, his voice filled with a mixture of satisfaction and fierce pride.

“come for me, darlin’. let me feel you come all over my cock.”

The combined sensations of his release and your own climax left you breathless, your body trembling beneath him.

Joel’s lips found yours, his kiss deep and possessive as he whispered against your mouth, “so perfect. you’re mine, now and forever.”

As the last waves of pleasure subsided, Joel’s grip on you remained firm, his eyes never leaving yours.

The connection between you was stronger than ever, a blend of passion and possession that promised more intense moments in the future.

When you finally caught your breath, you looked up at him through heavy-lidded eyes, a small, satisfied smile tugging at your lips. “better than your dreams?”

Joel chuckled softly, his voice low and tender as his thumb gently brushed your cheek.

“darlin’, you’re better than I ever could’ve imagined.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, that same soft, teasing grin still on your lips as you gazed up at him. “glad I could make your dreams come true, old man.”

His eyes darkened at the playful jab, and before you could say another word, Joel leaned in, pressing a rough, claiming kiss to your lips.

“you keep pushin’ me,” he murmured against your mouth, his voice low and gravelly, “and I’ll show you just how much I’ve been holdin’ back.”

The warmth of Joel’s body pressed against yours, his possessive gaze locked onto your face. His hand trailed lazily over your skin, sending little shivers through you as he traced circles along your waist. The heat between you had cooled slightly, but the intensity of his presence remained.

You lay there, chest still rising and falling as you caught your breath. Joel leaned in, his forehead resting gently against yours, a rare moment of tenderness from the man who had been all passion and dominance moments earlier.

“You okay?” he asked, his gravelly voice now softer, more intimate.

You smiled, a lazy grin spreading across your face as you nodded. “Yeah,” you whispered, your voice still a little breathless. “More than okay.”

His lips curved into a small, satisfied smile. “Good. Didn’t want to be too rough on you.”

You laughed lightly, fingers brushing through his messy hair. “I can handle you, Joel.”

He chuckled, the deep sound rumbling through his chest as he pulled you closer, wrapping his strong arms around you. “You definitely can.”

There was a comfortable silence between you, the weight of what had just happened settling in. You had crossed a line, but it felt inevitable. Joel had been circling your thoughts for so long, and now that you had given into each other, it felt like the only natural conclusion.

As you lay there, wrapped up in his arms, your mind wandered to what came next. This wasn’t just a casual fling—not with the way Joel had looked at you, the way he had spoken to you with such raw honesty and desire.

“What are we doing, Joel?” you asked softly, your voice cutting through the silence.

He stiffened slightly, his arms tightening around you. He let out a deep sigh, as if the question had been hanging between you for a while, waiting to be asked.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice quiet but honest. “I just know I want you. That I need you.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, the vulnerability in his voice surprising you. You had never seen Joel like this—open, exposed.

“And you’ve got me,” you whispered, your fingers tracing patterns on his chest. “But where do we go from here?”

Joel shifted slightly, propping himself up on one elbow so he could look down at you. His dark eyes, usually so guarded, were softer now, more open.

“We figure it out,” he said, his voice steady, but there was a hint of uncertainty in it. “I ain’t gonna pretend like I have all the answers. But I know I don’t want this to be a one-time thing.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, and you felt a sense of relief wash over you. This wasn’t just a moment of weakness or lust—Joel wanted more, just like you did.

“I don’t either,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I want more.”

Joel’s hand cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing gently over your skin as he leaned down to press a soft, lingering kiss to your lips. It was a stark contrast to the heated passion from earlier—a kiss that spoke of something deeper, more meaningful.

When he pulled back, his eyes searched yours, as if he was trying to read your thoughts. “We’ll take it slow,” he said, his voice firm. “Figure things out, day by day.”

You nodded, feeling a sense of calm settle over you. “Okay. Day by day.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of Joel’s lips, and he kissed you again, slow and deliberate. When he pulled away this time, his eyes were filled with that same possessive intensity that had sent a thrill through you earlier.

“But make no mistake, darlin’,” he murmured, his voice dropping to that low, gravelly tone that made your heart race. “You’re mine now. And I don’t plan on lettin’ anyone else have you.”

The possessiveness in his voice sent a shiver down your spine, but it wasn’t unwelcome. In fact, the idea of belonging to Joel, of being claimed by him, felt right. You leaned up, your lips brushing against his as you whispered, “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Joel’s eyes darkened at your words, and he pulled you close again, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that promised more than just passion. It promised commitment, something solid in the midst of the uncertainty.

For now, that was enough. You had Joel, and he had you—and together, you would figure out what came next.

· · ───────────𖥸──────────· ··

I accidentally deleted this post bruh

pussy whipped like me. this was my first fic, hope you enjoyed it.

[tightjeansjavi]

The Menu | Part 2

“like an angel to me”

A/N: so I think this is the fastest I have ever written something in awhile! Every time I think there’s no possible way for me to want Joel even more, I surprise myself with something like this 🥴

~word count : 5.3k~

Pairing | dark! Joel Miller x f! reader

Summary: after showing up to Joel’s apartment late one night, he gives you exactly what you’re seeking.

Warnings: dubcon/teetering on noncon (the lines are pretty blurred but I just want to be safe) coercion, manipulation, mind games, degradation, a sprinkle of misogyny, possession, ownership, dominance, humiliation, reader goes from being a dom to a sub real quick, brat tamer, praise kink, size kink, blood kink??, spitting kink, unprotected PIV, rough sex, breeding kink, creampie, light spanking, oral (male receiving) little to no foreplay, some aftercare??, Joel is an asshole, delulu! Joel, cockslut, whore, bitch, are all used. Age gap, Joel is in his 40’s reader is in late 20’s, reader has no physical descriptions, readers nickname is Angel, this story might not be for everyone, and that’s okay! Please heed the warnings! If I have missed any, PLEASE let me know. +18 minors dni!

The last thing Joel Miller expected you to do was laugh. Not just giggle, or a snicker, no. It was a full on wheezing laugh.

“Oh my fuckin’ god. You’re not actually serious, are you? Wow, is this supposed to make my panties wet or something? Cus’ it’s sure doin’ the complete opposite!”

His face turned beet red all the way to the tips of his ears. The glass that was clenched firmly in his fist was on the verge of shattering. Guess he couldn’t handle his fragile ego being busted open, huh?

“Y’think you’re so funny, huh?” His confidence was wavering on thin ice as he reached for the bottle instead.

“Oh, yeah. I think I am absolutely fucking hysterical. What? You don’t get your dick wet enough around here as it is? Oh, shit! Is it because your dick is small? It’s alright, Joel. Most women don’t care about size anyway.” You were smirking through your teeth as you sipped away at what was left in your glass.

The glowering man sitting across from you took one harsh swig from the bottle before he cracked his neck to the side. “I get my dick wet around here plenty. Thank you for showin’ some concern though. Ain’t you just a real peach? Why even mention my dick size, huh? Ask any woman around here and they’ll all tell you that I am well endowed.” He nearly growled as he slammed the bottle down along the coffee table.

“Geez, don’t go and get your panties all in a twist, Miller. I have no interest in knowing anything that has to do with you dick, I assure you. God, I swear all men, even after the world has gone to shit, are the same. Y’can’t handle someone busting your ego? Well, aren’t you just some delicate fuckin’ china.” You scoffed and placed your glass down on the coffee table like a dignified person.

Oh, you didn’t just bust his ego, you shattered it right down to the core. He could handle some bruising, sure. But god, if he didn’t want to tear you into two right now—

“Maybe I shoulda let those men in the alley fuckin’ tear you apart, since you think this is so fuckin’ funny. D’ya have any fuckin’ manners at all?! I risked MY fuckin’ skin to save your own and this is how you’re gonna act?!” His voice boomed through the thin apartment walls. He expected you to cower. To profusely apologize for poking the angry bear. Instead, you stood your ground.

“Maybe you should have! You could have just minded your own and let them fuck me up, but instead you what? Wanted to be the hero?! I never asked you to come and rescue me, Joel! Y’want me to say thank you? Fine. Thank you oh so much for saving me, Joel Miller! How can I ever repay you?” You mockingly batted your lashes, followed by an eye roll as you rose to your feet.

“Yeah, well, next time I ain’t gonna be there to save your skin! So, why don’t you jus’ go on back out into the streets, and see what happens!” He shook his head tightly as his jaw clenched like a fist.

“Great! That’s the best news ever because like I just said, I never asked you to rescue me!” You yelled exasperatedly as you made your way over to the door. Your head still throbbed, and your nose felt like a million tiny shards were digging into the flesh, but you’d much rather spend a night in lock up than another minute with this man.

“Great! Jus’ be on your way then, girlie!” He grumbled through his teeth.

“Oh, and Joel? For the sake of all the women in the QZ, why don’t you just keep your dick in your fuckin’ pants.” You gave him the middle finger before yanking his apartment door open. “Do not fuckin’ follow me home.” Was the last thing you said before you slammed the door behind you on the way out.

“Oh, don’t you worry! I ain’t gonna follow your bratty, disrespectful, no good—” he was cut off by the apartment door swinging shut so hard, it nearly fell off the hinges.

For good measure, the brooding bear got up from where he was sitting and locked the apartment door just in case you thought about coming back. Not that you were going to as you were already halfway across the QZ street heading home.

Joel Miller did not see you again for what felt like months (not really. He’s just a bit dramatic is all) when all in all reality, it had been two weeks to the date. He thought maybe you had died, or worse; He thought that maybe there was a chance that you got infected. Good riddance.

But then Tess told him that you were in fact alive, but avoiding him.

Joel knew why of course. He was quite the dickhead during your last interaction. Tess couldn’t really blame you for wanting absolutely nothing to do with Joel Miller ever again.

Business carried on like usual on their end even without your addictive charm in the mix.

You fucked a FEDRA soldier for extra ration cards just out of spite, and to get Joel Miller’s stupid face eliminated from your brain permanently. If you ever ran into that man again, you wanted to be smelling of another man’s cum just to rile him up all over again.

You wanted to crawl right up into his skin. Cover him in welts and hives to drive him mad. Hell, you wanted to poison him and leave him without the antidote. Fuckin’ Joel Miller and his stupid Texas twang and those piercing brown eyes and massive hands.

Perhaps that’s how you found yourself outside his apartment door late one night searching for a vice to be filled again.

You knocked once, then paused and knocked twice.

This is fucking stupid. What the hell am I doing?

When you heard no immediate answer from the other side of the door, you assumed that he wasn’t home and proceeded to turn on your heel to walk away—

The door squeaked open as Joel Miller's head appeared from the doorway.

“Fancy seein’ you here tonight, Angel.” He rasped deeply. You couldn’t even see his face yet, and you just knew he had a shit eating grin plastered on it.

“Miller.” You acknowledged him with a tight nod when you finally turned to face him.

He was leaning against the door jamb with his arms crossed and brow raised curiously.

“And what is it exactly that you're showin’ up here for?” He knows, of course. He’s known for awhile, but he wants to hear you say it first.

“Somethin’ that I heard you have to personally ask for. Somethin’ that isn’t advertised on your little menu here, Joel.”

his lips curve upwards in a wolfish grin. He cocks his chin to the side as his broad arm comes to rest along the chipped wood on the doorframe.

“Was wonderin’ when you’d finally give in, Angel.” He rasps. Thick and deep. His words hang heavy in the sultry air.

You fought the urge to roll your eyes at his response as you crossed your arms against your chest. “Okay, well, you don’t need to be all mysterious about it. Now, can I come in, please?”

“I see you're still at it with being a disrespectful brat, huh?” He pushed himself off the side of the doorframe so that you could make your way inside. The door was pulled shut behind you with a soft woosh of air.

“Yep, and I all I could think about these past few weeks of you fuckin’ the disrespectful brat right out of me, Joel.”

I fuckin’ knew it.

“Oh, I see. So, that’s what you’ve been up to all these weeks is thinkin’ about me?” He awaited your answer with a bated breath.

“No.” You deadpanned with a faux sigh. “Was too busy fucking a FEDRA officer for some ration cards. Didn’t have enough space in my brain to think about you setting me straight.” You teased with a smirk playing on your lips.

His fists clenched at his sides as his jaw tightened. The thought of you fucking another man, let alone a FEDRA officer?

“Hmm. Is that so? Well, I think you’re lyin’ through your teeth right now, Angel.” He wasn’t about to let you get under his skin that easily.

“Me? A liar? Oh, I’m truly wounded. C’mere, Joel. I bet you can still smell him on me.” You purred softly.

His eye twitched as he imagined you screaming another man’s name as you rode his cock—

He took a few steps towards you and backed you right up against the countertop. He dipped his head down towards your face as his hands came to rest along either side of the cool countertop. His nostrils flared as he inhaled your scent with his nose pressed deeply into the clavicle of your throat. “Did ya fuck him before you showed up here? Answer me, Angel. And y’better tell the truth.” His voice dropped an octave that shamelessly sent a pool of arousal dripping through your panties.

“Mhm. I fucked him before I showed up here. His cum is still inside of me, Joel. Y’gonna fill me up too?”

His teeth grazed the spot where your neck met your collarbone as he dragged his hot tongue across your skin. “S’that what Y’want?”

“Sure.” You shrugged almost disinterested.

“That ain’t how this works. Y’tell me exactly what it is that you want from me, and I deliver. Y’got that?” He asked you sternly as the bridge of his nose dragged upwards across your throat.

“Ah. So the women you fuck tell you what they want, and that’s all you do to them? Well, where’s the fun in that? Seems kinda boring to me, Joel.”

“Y’don’t like my rules, then y’can fuckin’ leave. That’s how things work around here, baby. So, I’ll ask y’again, what do you want from me?”

“Hold on. Hold on, cowboy. Pump the breaks. What if the thing they’re requesting is something you’re not interested in? You still do it? What about the things that you want? Ain’t that important in all this?”

“God, you’re annoyin’, y’know that? Can you just answer the goddamn question? I ain’t have all night.” He grumbled impatiently.

Then you did something that neither of you expected. You reached your hand up between your nearly touching bodies and grabbed ahold of his jaw tightly between your fingers and forced him to look directly into your eyes. “No. Fuck that. The world has gone to shit and you’re not thinkin’ of your own desires? Man, don’t you wanna be in charge for once? You think I’m so annoying and nothin’ but a disrespectful brat? Then show me what you do to women like me. Put me in my place, Joel.” You challenged him.

It was as if something inside of him had snapped. Maybe you were right. Maybe he oughta put you in your place after all. Why only be half in charge of how things played out, when he could take the whole cake himself?

“Alright. We’ll play the game my way then.” He chuckled darkly as his knuckles turned stark white from how hard he was gripping either side of the countertop.

As soon as you went to open your mouth, one of his hands clamped down instantly as he leaned in close. “Startin’ with shuttin’ this smart fuckin’ mouth of yours up. Yeah, ain’t so tough now, are ya Angel? Didn’t think so. Now, I’m only gonna ask you once, alright? Get. On. Your. Fuckin.’ Knees. Now.” He commanded you.

You dropped to your knees like an obedient dog on a leash waiting to be rewarded with a treat.

“Wow, would ya look at that. Guess the bitch can be obedient after all.” He chuckled.

Your eyes narrowed slightly at his new demeanor. You weren’t one for teasing, and right now Joel Miller was testing your patience.

“Don’t go lookin’ at me like that. You’re the one who showed up at my door, remember? This ain’t goin’ fast enough for you? Well, we’ll just see about that.” He tsked under his breath as his hand moved from your mouth to resting along your jaw.

“Open.” He commanded you as he applied a bit of pressure to either side of your cheeks. When you obediently opened your mouth, he praised you. “Good girl.” Followed by a light loving slap to your cheek. “Now, the way I see it is that you have three holes for me to fuck.”

His grin intensified when your eyes widened at his suggestion. It wasn’t that..you were afraid but if he wanted to fuck you in the ass at some point, you’d need to be ready for him.

“Oh ho ho. I see. You ain’t ever done that before? Hmm. I’m surprised that a mouthy bratty whore such as yourself hasn’t had a cock in her ass before. Well, maybe we’ll save that for another time.” He leaned down so he was closer to your face as the blunt ends of his fingernails dug into the skin on your cheeks. His lip curled up into a snarl as his pupils darkened. “But then again, I am supposed to be puttin’ you in your place. Ain’t I, Angel?”

Tears began to spring along your waterline from how hard he was gripping your face. Maybe you were biting off more than you could chew. “You’re hurting me, Joel.” You gritted out as a few tears leaked down your cheekbones.

“Good.” “Now I have your full attention. That’s very good, Angel. Look at you bein’ a good girl with your listenin’ ears. Now, if I do remember from our prior interaction, you assumed that my dick was small. Ain’t that right?”

You nodded meekly.

“Ah ah ah. Words, Angel. Use ‘em. I ain’t into silence. You speak when spoken to. Y’got that?” He squeezed your cheeks tightly as tears continued to roll down them.

“Yes sir.” You squeaked out.

He loosened his grip on your face, which in turn allowed you to relax your jaw. “Where were we? Ah! Right. The part where you assumed that my cock was small. Right before you called me some delicate fuckin’ china. So, how about you see for yourself.” He gestured to the growing tent in his jeans. “Don’t be shy now. Go’on and see if the women in the QZ are jus’ sayin’ horse shit about my size.”

You swallowed the lump growing in your throat as you felt his eyes burning holes in your skull from how harshly he was staring you down. Your hands quivered under his gaze as you reached for his belt to undo it.

“Don’t act so nervous, Angel. It’s just a cock. It ain’t gonna bite ya.” He teased with a chuckle. You could visibly see his hardened cock twitch under the confines.

You undid his belt before looping your fingers through the faded fabric and tugged them down swiftly over his ass and thighs.

You saw the sheer size and the girth of him through the tight fabric of his briefs as his own hand reached down to palm himself through the fabric.

“Holy shit.” You whispered in awe as your jaw fell open.

How in the hell is that supposed to fit?

He seemed to be reading your mind as his hand that was palming himself reached for your own and placed it under his. “We’ll make it fit, baby. Don’tcha worry your pretty little head about that. Although, maybe now is a good time to take back that little comment you made, hmm?”

Your own fingers dragged across the stiff outline of his cock as your eyes flitted upwards to meet his gaze. “I take it back.”

“Take back what?” He pressed.

“Sayin’ that you probably have a small dick.” You spoke quietly through the thick rising tension between you.

“Atta girl. See, that wasn’t so hard, huh? Still need’ya to take it out for me, Angel. Gettin’ awfully painful for me.” He hissed between his teeth when your hands finally grasped the waistband of his briefs and tugged them down. His cock sprang up freely against his taut stomach. The tip was gleaming with a bead of precum that was weeping from the slit.

“Well, it ain’t gonna suck itself, girlie. Get to it” he gruffly requested as he placed one hand along the back of your head and nudged you forward towards his cock.

For a brief moment you thought about just biting his dick off right then and there. Sorry, the voices. You just didn’t want to seem too excited. The FEDRA officer you recently fucked had nothing on Joel Miller’s cock. That was for damn sure.

Your glassy eyes stayed locked on his darkened ones as you stuck your tongue out and gave the tip of his cock a light kitten lick. He must have not been too pleased with it because his grip around your head tightened as he yanked your head upwards.

“Suck now, Or you ain’t gettin’ shit in return. We clear?” He asked you sternly with his eyes narrowed into slits.

“Crystal.” You mumbled in response before wrapping your palm around the base of his length and gave it a few slow tugs. When you finally obeyed, and he felt the wet heat of your mouth engulfing his weeping tip, his shoulders slumped as he inhaled a shaky breath.

“Shit—yeah. There ya go. See, that ain’t so hard? Fuck—that’s good, Angel.” He praised you from above as his hand loosened its grip around your head for a millisecond.

You relaxed your jaw on instinct to slowly inch your mouth further around him. The girth of his cock was stretching your mouth further than it had ever been stretched. Drool mixed with precum dribbled down your chin as fresh tears sprung to your eyes. You truly weren’t sure how you were supposed to fit all of him.

Joel didn’t want to admit it outloud, but seeing you sitting so pretty on your knees, mouth stuffed with his cock, and little tears leaking from your watery eyes, he never thought you looked so beautiful.

“That’s it, Angel. Relax a little more. Convince me that you’re actually enjoyin’ this. C’mon. Ain’t you a bit of an actress after all?” He chuckled.

Your hands found purchase around his bare muscular thighs as you tried to push yourself back for a gulping of air. Joel didn’t allow you the pleasure however as his hand was still firmly holding your head in place. You let out a sound that was nothing short of frustration before the tip of his cock pressed against the back of your throat, igniting your gag reflex to kick in.

Joel loved it.

His eyes rolled back when your throat clenched around him like a fist. His nails scraped lightly at your scalp as he threw his head back. He had received many blowjobs in his lifetime, but most women couldn’t take him all in. But once again, you proved Joel Miller wrong.

Feeling rather pleased with your work on him, Joel finally allowed you that breath of air that you so desperately needed as he removed his hand from your head. You immediately pushed yourself back off his thighs as his cock slipped out of your mouth with a light pop. You coughed a few times, gasping as a string of saliva hung from the tip of his cock all the way to your lips.

Before you could fully recover, his warm calloused palms were wrapped around your forearms and yanking you up from the faded tile floor hastily. He proceeded to wipe away your tears as his cock, still very much hard, twitched between you.

“Remember, Angel. You’re the one that showed up to my apartment like the cheap, bratty, beggin’ whore that you are. You asked for this. Y’wanna leave? Doors right there. I won’t stop you.” His thumb brushed the spot just below your eye.

You shook your head immediately. If it wasn’t for the constant tingle that simmered between your thighs, you probably would have hightailed out of there.

His smirk was nothing short of proud as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Very good, Angel. Very good. I’m testin’ you, and you’re passing with flying colors. Got your listenin’ ears on and everythin.’ Y’know what happens when you’re a good girl? Y’get rewarded. And I’m feelin’ mighty generous..so in the next five seconds you’re gonna take your pretty ass on over to the couch, you’re gonna strip down and bend over the side of it. Y’got that?”

You nodded as your hands already dropped to the hem of your shirt, fingers playing with the frayed ends. “Yes, sir.”

He patted your cheek affectionately before he stalked off to his room. You could hear him counting down from five as you scrambled to discard your shirt and tug your jeans down over your thighs. Your pulse quickened as you made your way over to the couch and bent over the side of it. You shouldn’t have felt this excited, but Joel Miller truly did bring the inner whore in you out to play.

His footsteps were heavy and audible just as you were reaching for the waistband of your faded panties to drag them down your legs.

“Ah. I’m sorry, Angel. Was five seconds not enough for ya?” He tuts softly under his breath. His footsteps hold a slight swagger as you feel the heat of his body simmering on your bare skin. His hand rests along the back of your thighs before slowly dragging upwards. He grabs a handful of your ass, squeezing and kneading the flesh as your covered pussy clenches around air. “Didn’t give ya enough time to take these off, hmm?” He hummed under his breath as he dragged his thumb across your covered core, applying the tiniest of pressure.

“Joel,” you whimper with a sharp breath when you the pad of his thumb pressing against you. “I’m—sorry, sir.”

“Sorry?” He sounds slightly confused at your apology. You can’t see his face, but you imagine his head cocking to the side as he gazes down at you like a starved man salivating at the wet patch that pools in the fabric of your thin panties. “Honey, this ain’t nothin’ you gotta be sorry for.” He reassures you as his head dips down.

You can feel his wiry, coarse beard scraping gently at the base of your spine. His lips on your searing skin are wet, hot, and inviting as he begins to leave open mouth kisses all the way up to the spot between your shoulder blades. You feel both of his massive hands prying your cheeks apart, followed by the slick length of his cock sliding through your covered folds.

He grunts directly into your ear as the sheer mass of his body conceals you like a cloak. He’s so fucking big. It's suffocating, almost. Being enveloped by a man such as him. Your thighs rubbed together to relieve the ache between them.

Can he just get on with it already?

“Now, Angel. I’m gonna fuck this pretty little cunt of yours till your legs shake. Till that stupid FEDRA officers come doesn’t even fuckin’ exist anymore. You’re gonna scream my name, and you’re gonna let every single one of my goddamn neighbors in this shit hole apartment know jus’ who’s fuckin’ you so well. Hell, maybe even that FEDRA fuck will be able to hear you from outside. You’re gonna scream and cum, like the dirty, obedient, little cockslut that you are.” He growled before bringing his palm down against your ass with a harsh, stinging slap that sent your back arching.

“And maybe, if you do as your told, and you milk my cock fuckin’ dry, I’ll treat you like a princess. Food. Shelter. A cock to keep you warm at night? Soft touches. Kisses. The comfort that I know you so desperately fuckin’ seek. All of that, and more can be yours, Angel. You jus’ have to be good and do as your told.” His teeth scraped the outer shell of your ear before he bit down on the thin skin harshly between his teeth. His thumbs looped between the waistband of your panties before he yanked them down to your ankles swiftly.

“Joel, that’s not what—” you tried to speak and get a few words in. But this was his show, not yours.

“That’s not what, Angel? That’s not what you want? Oh, please. Let’s not start this off by lyin’ to me. You showed up here tonight because you were seekin’ somethin’ I offered. I know how that brain of yours works, little girl. Y’sure can run that mouth of yours, but you and I both know that you’re fuckin’ helpless. Those men in the alley would have killed you if it weren’t for me. They would have torn you to shreds had I not stepped in. Say it, Angel. Say that I saved you.” He snarled unkindly as his freehand slipped around to your mouth. He pressed a kiss to your throat, right where he could feel your pulse quicken. “Spit.” He commanded you.

You shamelessly spit of glob of saliva right into the palm of his hand just like you were told.

His annoyance was prevalent when you didn't bother to answer his demand for you to admit that he saved you. Your blood was pumping in your veins and your heart was beating because of him.

You felt an unpleasant chill roll down every vertebrae in your spine when he didn’t praise you for spitting into his hand like a good girl. You tried to turn your head to the side to see what exactly it was that he was doing, but he didn’t give you that satisfaction. Oh, no. He wasn’t going to give that to you.

You went to open your mouth, to tell him just what he wanted to hear, but your words were muffled as he shoved your face right into the couch cushion. His hand encaged your head while the other slipped back between your nearly connected bodies. He used your saliva as lubricant as he fisted the heavy weight of his cock a few times.

Your body lurched forward when you felt the head of his cock pressing into your glistening hole. He was barely notched inside your cunt, and you were already trying to crawl away. He was too much.

He tuts with a disappointed sigh, shaking his head tightly. “Y’wanted this, remember?” He almost sounds pitiful. Almost. “Can’t exactly fuck this tight little hole if you ain’t holdin’ still, Angel.”

“Joel—it’s too. Fuck. It’s too much.” You whine pathetically as your nails dig into the worn fabric on the couch cushions.

“Too much for a fuckin’ cockslut like you? Shut the fuck up and take it.” He hissed between his teeth. “Just fuckin’ relax and quit bein’ so stiff. I’m tryin’ to make this an enjoyable experience for the both of us!” He snapped cruelly. He dropped his hand from around your head and opted to wrap his arm around your middle, yanking you back against his hips as he sank further into your heat.

“Actin’ like your pussy doesn’t want this, baby? She’s huggin’ me so fuckin’ tight already. She’s pullin’ me right on in. S’like she’s takin’ my cock fuckin’ home.” He groaned deeply as he bottomed out. Filling you to the fucking brim. His cock felt like it was splitting you in two, right down the middle. His chest was firmly pressed down against your back as he rolled his hips forward.

A strangled moan crawled up your throat as you found yourself fucking yourself around his cock. Showing him that you could in fact play the role. Be the actress. Milk him dry just as he requested.

“Joeeel.” You moaned wantonly with your cheek pressed firmly against the scratchy fabric of the cushions. Your tears had long since dried in a salty cavern along your cheekbones.

“That’s it, Angel. That’s a good fuckin’ girl. See, I told you I can fuckin’ treat you well.” He grunted praisingly as his lips found their way to your neck once more. He sucked, licked, kissed on your sweat-slicked skin as he pulled his hips back before jutting them forward once more. He set a deliciously deep and urgent pace as he fucked into you. “Don’t think for a second that I’m—-fuckin’ lettin’ you off the hook so easily, Angel. Y’still gotta tell me who saved you. Who saved your fuckin’ life!” His teeth grazed the thin, breakable skin along the column of your throat. He bit down harshly, drawing blood to the surface as he sucked on the entry wound that he created. A marking of dominance. Possession. The carnal need to own you.

The coil in your stomach tightened and pulled as your orgasm quickly approached. You liked it. You liked being fucked like the cockslut that you truly were. With each harsh thrust of his hips, the weight of his balls slapping against your skin, you cried out his name in a cock-drunk stupor.

Joel. Joel. Joel.

“Not the FEDRA officer fuck, right? Did he fuckin’ save your skin?! Huh?! No, Angel. He didn’t. Bet he woulda taken the opportunity to kill you, Angel. I bet they all fuckin’ would! Every last goddamn rotten, son-of-a-bitch sick fuck left in this shithole would jump at the opportunity to spill your blood on the streets below, Angel. Not me! Not Joel. Why do you think that, Angel? Why do you think I’d never let anyone hurt you?”

Your pussy clenched down around his cock as your strangled cries fell freely through your parted lips. Your back arched to meet his relentless thrusts.

“Because—because you own me, Joel!”

Maybe it was the endorphins coursing through your veins. Maybe it was the way Joel Miller’s cock continued to hit the spongy spot inside of you with every heavy thrust of his hips. Maybe it was the way he spoke to you. Or the way his body shielded yours with sheer strength. Maybe it was everything combined. In your cockdrunk haze, you wanted to be owned by this man.

“Yes, Angel. That’s right. I do fuckin’ own you. I own your body. This pussy. That smart mouth of yours. I own the come that drips between your thighs. I own your screams. I own your thoughts. Your feelings. Your likes and dislikes. I own every fuckin’ part of your being.” He growled possessively as his thighs and yours began to quiver. As his cock began to twitch, and your tight cunt began to pulse like a heartbeat.

“You own me, and I own you.”

He didn’t disagree. He didn’t argue as the cries of his name falling from your tongue mixed with his own heavy grunts.

Angel. Angel. Angel.

As he shot hot ropes of his seed into your fucked out hole, you milked him of every last drop, and as he slipped out, you could feel a mixture of his and your come dripping down between your thighs.

You could feel his heartbeat against your back as his breaths came out as hot puffs across your clammy skin. His cock softened against his thigh. Glistening in yours and his come. Your eyes fluttered shut as the post orgasm haze swept over you.

You felt two strong arms gently pulling you up as your head fell back against his strong shoulder. He held you securely against him. All you could hear was his heart beat and your intermingle breaths.

“Did you really go and fuck that FEDRA officer before you showed up here, Angel?” He asked softly while the pads of his thumbs rubbed soothing circles against your hips.

“No.” You admitted. “I didn’t.”

banners made by the lovely @saradika 🤍

[roabythecow]

"And now, password journal comes with a secret hiding place that no one can get into 😏 💅"

"STARFISH! 😄 STARFISH! 😃 AAAÉÉÜHG!! 💀"

Ey there kid.

Yeah, you.

C'mere.

Now that I gotcha attention with nostalgia bait, you a writah? Aged 15 to 28? Considah yerself a... Introvert, maybe? A lil'... 😒 funky? What the hell's this script... 😐

Well, I gotta secret to share with you...

It's the Funky Introverted Writahs servah! 😃

Eh?

That image looks edited? What—Er... 🤨🕶️👌 😑🤳

...

Look, kid! Here's the deal! In this writah servah we got writahs n uh—fanfict or whatevah writahs of all sorts ah genres n all sorts ah fandos! We even gotcha gay poets or whatevah! The works! You's don't even gotta be a pro at it. We got folks at a range of skill in 'ere! 🫴 N you's help each other out, talkin' about you's storrries... Comin' up with ideas for em... Proofreadin' 'em for each other, showin' off ya wipes—I mean, uh... 🤨 Ya WIPs! Yeesh, are writahs this kinky...? 😬 Uh, doin' dem prompts, er dos uh—what are dos called? Author quickies? 🤔 Eh... Oh! Sprinties, sprintos, or whatevah! You can also uh, show off ya ahtwork n talk about ya queer little fandos—fandoms. 😮‍💨

What else, uh... They also do dos uh, voice chats! N—n sometimes you's sit in silence n listen to you's tunes together! N also movie nights! Who doesn't love the sound ah that?

Er... Am I forgettin' anythin'...

Hwhat? 🤨

Why do I look so low-quality? 😟

Ey look, kid! I was pulled off the streets to advertise this servah! 😡 N—n you know what! This servah's the most friendly joint arooound! They don't discriminate against nobodies! 🫴 No race, disability, gendah, sexuality, or identity! N there's almost nevah any drama like dos other servahs out there! I mean, just look at these reviews!

(Please zoom in if need be.)

Now take this business cahd! 😠🤌 I'm outta here! 👐 I gotta pick up some grub for my husban'!

⚠️ This link will shut down once our server reaches the max amount of members. If the public link is down, please DM me for a new link, however, keep in mind that you may have to wait for one if the server is at full capacity. ⚠️

[ringmaster-midori]

Hi, everyone! Midori, here: your favorite kitsune ringmaster!

So I was talkin' to this artist named Sol the other day. He said he likes sandwiches. Also, he showed me his drawin' portfolio. Great stuff! Clean and precise line work. Bold, confident lines. Showin' off all o' the little details. Expressive faces. Lotsa fun characters, too.

Then he asked if he could draw me. I was all like, "Draw me like one of your Galtan girls! Ha ha!"

An' then he gave me this funny look. I dunno, maybe he never saw that play that I was referencin', the one about the ship that hit the iceberg an' sank. So I said, "I mean, yes! I would be honored!" So he asked me to tell him some information about myself, took some notes, and went on his way.

So a couple o' days later, he showed me this:

[Drawn by Solifeaulprime @solifeaulprime and posted with permission from the artist]

Oh, my gods! IT'S A DRAWING OF ME! Isn't it beautiful? (Well, yeah, it's me after all!)

But, seriously, look at it! Get a magnifying glass an' zoom in! LOOK AT THE EYES! He managed to capture my eyes perfectly! Look into those eyes! You are falling under my power. Ha ha!

Now look at the tails. All SIX of 'em. That's right, I have six already at age 18, but no big deal. An' look at those big, beautiful ears, too. The fullness. The gentle curves. Yeah, I'm hot!

An' everything's got just the right level of fluffiness! Behold my glorious floof in all of its floofy glory!

An' the look on my face. Looks like I'm up to some mischief. Would I be up to somethin'? Am I a trickster? ...maybe....

Anyhow, thanks again to Sol, if you're readin' this! I do appreciate that you drew me. It really is an honor!

[sarahsmi13s]

A Glimpse of Trouble

A Glimpse of Trouble

(not my gif - found on pinterest) 

pairing: jake ‘hangman’ seresin x fem!oc

characters: jake seresin, fem!oc, sarah’s students, baby seresin (mentioned) the dagger squad, the bradshaws (hlg), doctor mallard (oc)

warnings: language, pregnancy, school, drinking (all of age), doctor’s appointments, i’m sorry if i missed any

word count: ~3.9k 

a/n: this story is inspired by ‘His Little Girl’ (bradley bradshaw x reader) by the lovely @roosterscockpit​​  ( @milesdickpic​ ) and characters from this story are mentioned. also, yes, the oc is based on me lol (well a fantasy version lol)

also thank you Lyss for the title assistance❤️🫶🏼

this is part 4 of the jake x oc series (masterlist)

loose summary: after celebrating the new year with the dagger squad, sarah informs her students of her upcoming name change and they go to their first appointment

********

It was time to go back to school, the New Year had finally arrived and basketball season was getting closer to playoffs. Softball practice was also beginning.

Sarah and Jake reigned in the New Year with the Dagger Squad, but kept Sarah’s pregnancy on the down low until after her first ultrasound appointment. She also had planned to tell her students, but she would start off the New Year by announcing her engagement.

The New Year’s party was a little tricky, it wasn’t easy hiding the lack of alcohol consumption on her part. She was declining drink, saying she needed to be able to have a productive day tomorrow because school was starting that week.

It was hard for Jake not to run around shouting in everyone’s face that was going to be a dad. He wanted to shout from his cockpit that he was going to be a father, but he understood his fiancé’s concerns about wanting to wait.

Bradley, Alyssa, and Leia were sworn to secrecy as well.

However, the engagement was spoken of non-stop. Wives and girlfriends of the squad were flocking to see Sarah's ring, which she proudly showed them. Phoenix was surprised to see Jake have picked such a ring.

“Bagman really picked that out? It’s gorgeous,” she said, turning it so the moon hit the stones just right. “He had a little help from Leia Rey, he told me he was stuck on a few and needed an outside opinion.” Phoenix nodded, “Well, she did a fantastic job.” Sarah smiled, looking from her ring to her fiancé. “He actually showed me all the rings he considered. Said he nearly bought them all to let me pick, but he knows I’m indecisive. And I would have like any of ‘em, truly. I would’ve accepted one made out of paper. But this one is perfect.”

Phoenix smiled and hugged Sarah, “Well congratulations, girl. I’m happy for you both, I’ll drink an extra glass just for you.” She sent her a wink. “Don’t want you hungover while checking over lesson plans and getting things for your room.”

Sarah giggled and shook her head, walking over to Alyssa.

“You doin’ okay over here?” Alyssa tore her eyes away from Rooster. “No, I’m not.” Sarah chuckled, “What’s up?” She gestured over to Bradley, “Girl, look at him!” Sarah looked over, seeing Rooster laughing with a drink and his aviators on. “I see him… but what am I lookin’ for?”

Alyssa downed her drink, “When we got here, that shirt was buttoned up. Now look at him, showin’ of his chest hair. And those damn curls look so defined right now. Ugh! He looks so slutty right now and it’s becoming harder and harder to contain myself.” Sarah laughed, going behind the bar to get a water bottle. “Girl, tell me about it. My hormones can’t handle Jake sometimes, especially right now with his black button up just open like that. I should have made him wear the sweater.”

They shook their heads, “What gave them the right to be so fine? And who the fuck told them they could be this sexy?”

*******

Sarah sat at her desk, anxiously tapping on the desk as she waited for her first class to come in.

Her first wave of students came in all smiling as they sat at their tables. “Morning Coach G!” “Good morning you guys!” She got up and sat on a stool she had in the front of her marker board.

“How was your break?” A collective ‘good’ was heard. She nodded, “That’s good. Did you guys do anything fun?”

Some students shrugged, some nodded very enthusiastically. “Okay, well, let’s have everyone do a short recap, talk about trips, family events, what have you. But let’s try to keep it brief, okay?”

She went table by table, student by student until everyone had a chance to speak.

“What did you do over the break, Coach?” She smiled and sat up in her seat.

“Well, Hangman and I had planned to fly out to go see our families for Christmas-” “Wait, where are you and Hangman from?” A student asked, tilting her head. “Well, Hangman grew up in Texas and I grew up in Arkansas.” “How did you guys meet?” “His sister was my roommate in college. We played on the softball team together.” She nodded, “Ooooh.”

Sarah nodded, chuckling a little bit, “Back to the story, we planned to fly out for Christmas, but the weather in Texas wasn’t cooperating and the airports weren’t allowing incoming or departing flights. So we just stayed home and video called for Christmas.”

One of the seniors, who is particularly close with Jake, raised his hand, “Did Hangman’s squadron not do anything?” She nodded, smiling, “Oh they did, we all did a little something at the beginning of the week so everyone had a chance to get home for Christmas, but we did get to spend New Year together. And Jake and I spent Christmas Eve at our friend's house.”

A collective sound of interest was heard, and she knew they wanted to know what she got for Christmas.

“Well,” she stood up and grabbed the tumbler cup that was on her desk. “I got this from Hangman’s wingman, their squadron had given me an honorary callsign and Rooster- well, Alyssa really- had this made. Jake’s got one to match.”

“What did Hangman get you?” Lauren, one of Sarah’s basketball player’s asked, a curious- almost knowing tone in her voice.

“I am so glad you asked,” Sarah sat her cup down and grabbed a marker. “Because by this October…” She began writing on her board, “I won’t be Coach Grant.” The audible gasps from behind her made her grin. They knew where she was headed but their eyes still lit up when Sarah stepped to the side to reveal her board.

‘Coach Grant  Seresin 

October 2023’

The students cheered, quickly quieting down when Sarah instructed them to. But their giddiness about their favorite history teacher getting married to the cocky- but lovable- aviator couldn’t be extinguished. The boys tried to look indifferent, trying to play it cool, but a lot of them love Jake and see him like a big brother. And the girls wanted to see the ring and wanted to watch the video of his proposal. Of course Sarah made sure to stop it before Jake got his gift.

Sarah checked the time, “Okay, y’all, the bell is about to ring. I know you’re excited, so am I, but I want to tell all of my students. So let’s try and keep it quiet for just a little bit longer and then tomorrow you can tell whoever, sound like a plan?” They all nodded. “Okay, cool.”

“Oh!” She almost forgot to mention, “I will not be here Friday, I have a doctor’s appointment. I’ll make sure to remind you as the week moves on.” The bell rang, “Alright, have a great day and remember if you need me, my door is open!”

*******

Sarah walked in with a huge smile on her face.

All of her students were extremely excited for her and Jake. Sending their congratulations.

She went right to the couch, laying down and turning on the TV. It was part of her routine that she developed over the year and a half she’d been teaching in California. After school practice, come home, unwind and recharge for a little bit, if it’s close for Jake to be home she starts on dinner, if not she might clean or makes sure she has everything for dinner.

But ever since she got pregnant, the fatigue just knocks her out. So once she got comfortable on the couch, put on a movie or show she’s seen a hundred times, and got still, she was out like a light.

********

Jake walked in the door, setting his duffle next to hers on the entryway table, “Hey, Honey I-” He stopped mid sentence, his eyes finding the sight of his fiancé passed out on the couch.

A soft smile came over his features and he took off his boots before going any further. He padded over to her and squatted down.

His right hand found the dip in her waist as his eyes looked at her face. The lamp casted a warm glow over her features. He brought his right hand up to push her hair out of her face and he smiled when her nose scrunched.

Placing a small kiss on her nose, Jake stood up and went to change.

When he came back down in sweats and a t-shirt, Sarah was still asleep.

He chuckled to himself and went to the kitchen, trying to figure out what he could fix considering there were foods that Sarah couldn’t have.

As he looked over his options, arms wrapped around his middle and a cheek pressed into his back.

Jake smiled, his hands moving to hold Sarah’s over his stomach. “Did you have a nice nap?” She hummed and he felt her nod against his back. “I’m sorry I didn’t have dinner started when you got home,” she mumbled and he could hear the emotion in her voice.

He quickly turned and cupped her face, “Hey, that’s okay. It’s not a big deal.” Her eyes filled with tears, “I meant to start it, but I guess-” He placed a quick kiss on her lips, “Honey, I’m not mad. I get it. You went back to work today and you’re creating life at the same time, you’re gonna be tired. It’s normal, Baby.”

Jake’s thumbs wipe her tears, “We can just order something, Sweetheart. It’s okay.” She sniffled, “Can we get Chick-fil-a?” Jake smiled at her, “Of course we can. Do you want your usual sandwich?” She nodded, “Yeah, please.” He kissed her forehead and then her lips, “Comin’ right up. Why do you go get comfortable while I order it?” “I’m gonna wear your sweats, okay?”

He smirked, growling a little bit, and wiggled his brows, “Baby, that’s more than okay.” He squeezed her butt a little bit. “You know I can’t wait until you’re wearing sundresses everywhere.”

Sarah giggled and patted his chest, “We still got a bit to go, big boy.” She turned and went towards the stairs. Jake tried to pop her butt with the towel, “Hey, we still need to come up with names Sugar.” “We’ll get there, I’ve got a list.” He followed her and stood at the end of the stairs and she looked down at him, “I’ve got one too. Nicknames included.” He sent her a playful wink and she laughed, “Noted.”

******

After eating, Jake and Sarah relaxed on the couch. Well, Jake relaxed, Sarah was working on lesson plans.

“Jake, Honey,” she said, dropping her head back onto his shoulder. “Yes, Sweets?” “I need help with these lesson plans.” He sat up, bringing her with him.

“What is this?” “Jake, I just said ‘lesson plans’. Next week my class starts reading a true story on a real historical figure. I just don’t know who,” she dropped her pencil on the list of names and rubbed her face. “And I need to get it to the librarian as soon as I can so she can find it and order it.”

Jake nodded and moved the pencil, “Hey, Babe, I’ve got a book on him.” Sarah looked at the name he was pointing to, “You do?” “Yeah, hold on.” He got up and quickly went to his bookshelf.

He held the book out to her. She took it and ran her fingers over the cover and the spine, “You’ve read this a lot, haven’t you?” She was referring to the bent corners of the paperback and the crease in the spine. “Oh, yeah, I couldn’t tell you how many times.” He sat down next to her, “This is one of the reasons I became a pilot.”

Sarah watched the adoration in his eyes as he looked at the book and a smile spread on her face. “Well, then let’s see who else he can inspire,” she kissed his jaw lightly before writing down the title in her notes. “Devotion. Thank you, Baby.” He kissed her temple, “Of course.”

She gave the book back to him, “I’ll have to get myself a personal copy.” He frowned a little, “You can just use mine, I don’t mind.” She smiled and gently placed a hand on the worn book, “Jake, I can see this book obviously means a lot to you. I don’t think I could stand it if something happened to it.”

It may seem like just a book, but it really wasn’t. No book ever is. Not when the ink is fading and the spine is nearly torn in half.

“Will you read it to me though? You’re gonna need to get used to it when baby Seresin arrives.”

Jake simply nodded, a smile stretching across his face, and helped his fiancé off the couch and they went upstairs.

****

Jake nearly read the book in its entirety if it weren’t for his eyes fluttering closed by page 287.

He jerked awake and tried to continue.

“Jake, you’re falling asleep,” Sarah’s gentle voice pulled his attention to her. He just blinked slowly, his tired brain not being able to put together a whole sentence. She smiled and gently pulled the book out of his hands, setting it next to her on the nightstand. “We’ll pick up tomorrow night.” She clicked her lamp off.

She opened her arms, “C’mere Darlin’.” Jake smiled as her natural drawl poked through, loving how at home he felt when he heard it.

He immediately got comfortable in her arms, sighing as their legs wrapped together.

“Man, now I don’t feel tired anymore,” he chuckled, his breath fanning across her chest. She smiled, giggling a little as she brought her hand up to scratch his scalp. “Better?” He nodded, eyes closing as he hummed contently. “Much better.”

“How did your students react?” He asked. She smiled, playing with the short hair at the nape of his neck. “They’re excited, some of the seniors are a little bummed they won't be there for the name change.” He chuckled tiredly and flattened his hand over her stomach, “They won’t be there for her either, I bet when you tell them they’ll be begging to stay.”

Sarah arched an eyebrow, “‘Her’?” “Yep,” Jake answered, popping the ‘p’ and the end. “What makes you think it’s gonna be a girl?” “Sweetheart, I’m the only boy in a group of girls. My parents were so confident I was gonna be a girl that they didn’t bother with a gender reveal or checking it on an ultrasound. I’m pretty confident.”

She rolled her eyes affectionately before pressing a kiss to the top of Jake’s head, “Goodnight, Honey.” “G’night, Sugar,” he lightly kissed her neck before stretching his neck to kiss her lips. “I love you.” “I love you too.”

*******

Jake was lucky to get Friday off to go with Sarah to her appointment. Her appointment wasn’t until 11:00, so they took the chance to sleep in and just relax in bed.

Sarah tried to get out of bed first, “Jake, I need to get up.” She patted his chest, but his arms tightened around her shoulders. “No you don’t. Stay here just a little longer, it’s warm.” She giggled and tried to push off again, only to be pulled back down. “Jake, I have to pee.” He groaned and flung his arms to the side, “Fine. But get your fine ass back under these covers when you’re done.” She scoffed, laughing as she got out of bed. She saluted, “You got it, Lieutenant.”

Jake shifted to rest his shoulders on the pillows and rested one hand under his head, the other thrown over his abdomen.

He peeked through the bathroom door, seeing Sarah at the sink. His sweats were loose on her, resting a little lower on her hips than she usually likes- but he wasn’t complaining. It gave him the perfect view of the small bump that was forming. He grabbed his phone and snapped a photo.

‘Hold on,’ he thought, rubbing his eyes making sure he wasn’t seeing things. ‘Nope, definitely a bump,’ he confirmed, glancing back at the photo. Sure enough, during what Sarah liked to call her ‘morning skinny’, there was a small, barely there, baby bump. Jake made a mental note to ask about that at the doctor’s office.

******

Sarah and Jake sat in the waiting room. Both looking around at all the posters and pamphlets.

Sarah’s knee was bouncing and she was picking at her lip. A warm hand placed itself on her knee, slowing the bounce of her knee. “Hey,” the same hand came up and pulled the one picking at her lip down, grabbing her other hand as well. “What’s wrong?” She shook her head, “I’m just nervous. I want everything to be okay.” Jake squeezed her hands, “That's what we’re here for. After today we’ll both have a better understanding of how to move forward.”

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her temple, “Just relax, okay?”

An older nurse smiled from the reception desk. “You’ve got yourself a good one, sweetie. Most of these younger dad’s are just as- if not more- nervous than the mothers. But this one right here is something else.” Both Sarah and Jake laughed. Jake nodded at her, “Thank you, ma’am. I’m trying my best. But believe me, I’m nervous too.” “Well,” she adjusted her glasses, still smiling, “I think you’re both gonna do great.”

That seemed to ease both their nerves just a little bit as they got called back.

******

The nurse asked both of them questions about their medical history, did a physical exam, and they just took blood for the blood tests.

“I guess we can go over names while we wait,” Sarah said, relaxing onto the exam table. “Since you are so confident in our little one being a girl,” she teased, the corner of her mouth quirking up in the corner. “Why don’t you go first?” Jake shook his head, chuckling, “Okay.”

Jake pulled out his phone, “I’ve always liked the name Grace. It’s my Memaw’s middle name, and she’s just had a very big impact on my life.” Sarah smiled at the sentiment. “But I know you want them to be uni-” She shot her hand out, shaking it in protest, “No, Honey. If you like it, it’s goin’ on our list of options.” “But-” “Yes, I know I said I want unique names. But they don’t have to be. This is your baby too.”

He smiled and kissed her knuckles. “Okay, so I said Grace. What did you have in mind?” “Well, I’ve got a few. Let’s see. Jacklynn, Kennedy, and Finley are the top 3.” Jake’s eyebrows lifted at the last name.

“Finley Grace Seresin…” He mumbled to himself.

“What was that, Honey?” Sarah asked gently. “Finley Grace Seresin, I really like the sound of that,” Jake smiled confidently. Sarah liked it too, smiling back at her fiancé. “I like it. Rolls off the tongue easily for when she gets into trouble.” Jake scoffed, “What makes you think she's gonna get into trouble?” “She’s your daughter, Jake. Your mom has told me the stories, I know what you got up to at the ripe age of 4.”

Jake couldn’t help but laugh. She was right, he did cause quite the commotion on the farm. He was the only boy in a house full of girls, what else was he supposed to do?

Just as Jake opened his mouth to change the subject to boy names, the doctor walked in.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Mallard,” she said, shaking both of their hands. “You must be dad?” Jake nodded, “Yes, ma’am.” She nodded, smiling, “Okay, Sarah, I just want to go over some things and then we can get into the fun stuff. Sound good?” Sarah nodded, “Sounds great.”

Dr. Mallard flipped through her papers and typed in something on her keyboard.

“Okay,” she pointed to something on the screen. “This is your blood work from Tuesday. Now I want to clarify that your hCG levels would be higher with today’s test, but we won’t have those results until later today. But with these everything is looking good. I do want to point out though that your hCG levels are a little higher than expected with your first pregnancy. However, like I said, everything looks good so there’s nothing to worry about. I just wanted to make you aware.”

Sarah and Jake nodded, “Okay.” They continued to nod along as Dr. Mallard talked, asking questions or answering them as they went on.

Finally, Dr. Mallard, clapped her hands, “Okay, I think you’ve both been waiting for this. So give me just a minute and then we can hear the little one's heartbeat.”

She stepped out to get a nurse and then they began to set up the doppler.

“Alright, mama, we need you to lift your shirt up to just below your breast.” Sarah did as instructed, taking a sharp inhale when the cold gel was placed on her stomach. “You okay?” Jake asked, reaching out to hold her hand. She nodded, laughing a little bit, “Yeah, it was just cold.” Jake laughed as well, squeezing her hand and placing a small kiss to the back of it.

The doctor smiled, “Are we ready?” Both nodded.

Soon the whooshing sound of the baby’s heartbeat filled the room.

Tears immediately filled Jake’s eyes and he let out a shaky breath against Sarah’s hand. Sarah’s unoccupied hand came up to cover her mouth as tears filled her eyes as well. “Jake…” “I know, Sugar. I know…” He leaned forward and kissed her, both of them smiling in the middle of it and joyfully laughing against the other's mouth.

But then they looked at the doctor and the midwife.

Both sobered up, Jake’s back straightening out. “Is everything okay?” The other two in the room shared a quick look. “The heartbeat seems normal-” “Seems? What do you mean ‘seems’?” Sarah asked, propping herself up on her elbows.

Her and Jake shared a panicked look as the doctor and midwife switched from the doppler to the ultrasound. “Everything is okay. I just need to check something.”

Sarah clenched Jake’s hand and he rested their foreheads together. He brought his hand up to rub her arm. “Hey, breathe, you’re okay.”

The doctor looked at the images on her screen, glancing at the midwife over her shoulder. “You see it too, right?” She nodded.

“Mom, Dad, take a look.” Dr. Mallard adjusted the screen to angle it towards the couple.

Sarah’s eyes widened when she noticed it, her head whipping over to look at Jake. She wasn’t sure what expression she’d find, but she was happy with the one she got.

Jake Seresin had the biggest smile on his face.

He met his fiancé’s eyes, tears on both of their lash lines and big grins on their faces.

“Twins.”

************

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!

I do have a pinterest board set up for this, just to help me get into the vibe (one is to help with future parts, one is only for the current parts)

BUT

if you want to check it out and get more of a feel for the dynamic going on---- you can click right --->   here

Like mentioned in the last one, feedback is greatly appreciated!

[kiissme]

muses — faye brookes & keith mitchell, married with a whole lot of love to give. plot — you're faye and keith's new neighbor, they've seen you around, intrigued by you and invite you over for dinner on the sole purpose of seducing you into their bed or any flat surface near them. ( age gap friendly, can be multiple muses with your muse also married or having a partner ) faye is bisexual, keith is straight, both polyamorous.

"Since I was sixteen," she uttered almost miraculously. As if it took Faye by surprise to even remember that. "I've been with Keith since I was sixteen years old and that's been..." She paused, letting out a soft snort. "Yeah, no, not even gonna count that or else we're gonna have to open another bottle of wine," she laughed, placing her own down on the table, looking over at their guest, "My best friend's brother, as cliche as that is. But the thing that makes me feel better?" The redhead turning to her husband, pointing at him with a smile, "You're a year older than I am, so ha!"

"Oi, cheap shot, love. Just a year. A year is nothin', far as I'm concerned. Showin' me up here," but he chuckled as he settled next to his wife, pouring her glass of wine and smacking her thigh, earning a chuckle from the red head. "Alyssa warned me against you, did y'know that?"

She let out a gasp, "No, I did not! She did? What, really?"

Keith let out an affirming hum, pulling her legs over his lap, chuckling as his fingers stroked along her flesh. "Aye, she did. Just 'cause she didn't want her dorky older brother to bother her best friend. Didn't want me to steal you away from her and the like."

Faye let out a chuckle, reaching over and stroking his hair, "You didn't listen."

"Aye, the only think I paid attention were these legs of yours," he said with a proud grin, palm rubbing against the flesh, not even pausing as his hand reached toward Faye's inner thigh, impossibly underneath the skirt of her dress, tossing a glance at their guest, a mischievous smile on his face. "I mean, you've seen her, wouldn't you do the same? Nah... Couldn't resist. And I'm glad I didn't." Her hand found his cheek, fingers trailing over his lips and he smiled, reaching up to kiss her. Not a soft, gentle or polite kiss, but a hungry one. Faye's lips parting for him instantly, both husband and wife tasting each other deep, his hand rising higher, playing with the lace of Faye's knickers, smiling against her lips as the kiss ended. Slowly, their attention going back to their guest, both chuckling, "Mm, sorry, we're known to uh... Get carried away."

Faye chuckled, a bit more proud in her smile. "I'm not sorry, but, yeah, that tends to happen. But, we're bein' rude, so... Tell us a bit 'bout yourself, yeah? That's why we invited you over, so we'd get to....know you...a bit better."

[blondelucian]

╔  📝 verse: brother my brother  ╗

start date: march 9 2018

type: AU ( selectively exclusive )

partner: @emptiiless  ( as Prompto and Buddy )

synopsis:  sometimes, there doesn’t have to be only one. a clone who managed to escape the magitek facility alive. wandering, he eventually was lead to find his brother, prompto, who gave him his name, buddy, and teaches him the way of life. —  @emptiiless

assigned emoji: 🤖

tags: • 288 / “buddy” • 289 / “kindred” • relationship tag ( “brothers” ) • verse tag

[the-himawari]

A3! Izumida Azami - Translation [SSR] MANKAI Party (2/3)

*Please read disclaimer on blog

---

Azami: This colour’s limited-edition, but it’s pretty versatile.

Yuki: Ooh. The colour looks quite sharp though?

Azami: I think it depends how you use it. The way it looks surprisingly changes when you apply it to your skin.

Yuki: I see, I see.

Azami: …Alright. That’s all for the shoot. I just gotta pay now, so cut the camera.

Yuki: Got it.

-pause-

Azami: Sorry for the wait, Yuki-san. Thanks for filmin’ today. That seriously helped a ton.

Yuki: …Hey.

Azami: Hm?

Yuki: How’d you think of doing this for your VLOG this time? You were still undecided just a short while ago.

Azami: Ahh… …When I was thinkin’ what I wanted to show my fans, I realized it might be better to show ‘em a side of me they haven’t seen much up ‘til now. So instead of showin’ me as an actor on stage or in an instelive, I thought I’d let everyone see me behind the scenes. …I mean, you introduced your costume room in your VLOG, didn’t you? I got this idea once I saw that…

Yuki: Oh, so you’re plagiarizing me?

Azami: Uh, no. You’re the one who said it wouldn’t be the same even if the themes overlapped, remember?

Yuki: True.

Azami: Geez…

Yuki: Alright, are we done filming your VLOG now?

Azami: Ah, actually, there’s somethin’ else I wanna film once I get back to the dorm…

Yuki: And you want me to film that too, don’t you?

Azami: Pff… I owe you one.

-pause-

Azami: And hup… there.

*places something down*

Yuki: Can I film now?

Azami: Yeah. …This time, what I wanna show everyone is a men’s makeup course using my face.

Yuki: Men’s makeup?

Azami: Well, I say makeup, but it’s gonna be somethin’ that people who normally go to school and such can do. It’s for men, more or less, but I think there’s parts that’ll be practical regardless of gender. Alright, let’s get started. First is the base. For makeup, the most crucial thing is the foundation. It’s important to do some thorough skincare before applyin’ stuff on top.

Yuki: Should we do skincare even at our age?

Azami: It doesn’t matter how old you are. Of course it’s good for your skin now, but that’s not all. It’s for the sake of your future skin too. It’s better to think of it as an investment in your future and do what you can.

Yuki: Hmm. Anyways, that lotion’s a pretty good one, isn’t it?

Azami: Ahh, Azuma-san told me about this one. It goes on sale online sometimes, so I think it’d be better to buy it then rather than pay regular price. Or this one…

Yuki: Ah, I feel like I see that one at the drug store all time. Is that also lotion?

Azami: Yeah. Honestly, the ingredients themselves aren’t all that different from the previous one. But you can get it for a more reasonable price since the ingredients are less concentrated. You’ll still see results if you apply this one daily, so if you’re plannin’ on using it regularly, I don’t see any problems with gettin’ it.

-pause-

Azami: …That’s a wrap.

Yuki: Heh. It was mostly foundation, but with just that, the impression of your face changed quite a bit.

Azami: I know, right? The impression changes since the area around your face looks brighter. I hope lots of people give this a try.

Yuki: At any rate, I didn’t except you to do a daily makeup course. I was sure you were going to talk about stage makeup.

Azami: …My realistic self? I wanted to show somethin’ like that.

Yuki: What do you mean?

Azami: I told you earlier that I thought of showing my behind-the-scenes work after I saw the VLOG with your costume room, right? In the same vein, I remembered Kumon said something like, “I wanna show myself as I am” when I shot his VLOG. I want everyone to get to know what I do all the time and feel closer to me too… you feel?

Yuki: …Hm, not bad. I was able to get a good shot of your face. Should I stop the camera now?

Azami: Ha!? You were still filming!

Yuki: You never told me to stop.

Azami: …I’ll get them to cut that part just now.

---

previous | next

[crestfallen-infatuation]

[Notorious B.I.G]

You did good, $lick

When I, when I, when I, when I

When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell

When I, when I, when I, when I

When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell

When I, when I, when I, when I

--

[Hearse Boy]

Three AM, drinkin' with this pistol on my lap, uh

Six medications, guess there ain't no fixin' that

It's the broken motherfucker, knucklin' 'til I relapse

If I die they might cry 'til they inherit my stacks

Cold fuckin' world, tell me what's the word

Only time I speak my heart is when the message come out slurred

People pleasin', always eager to fix a motherfucker's problems

Leave me at the bottom, all comfortable with Gomorrah Sodom

I chew on fent and rot my teeth off

Moments of peace and slow heart beats got offered

God I dissed, you gon' save me?

All I can do is laugh and say "C'est la vie"

Woah, was me, I know you get the picture

This type of pain will earn you seven figures

Check my DNA, my RNA come with predictors

This shit is scripture and for what I got there's no elixirs

Feel like I'm not enough

Find myself playin' my dad like Honey Boy and Shia LaBeouf

My momma cryin' as she watch the clock

Text my bro, I love him even though he got my number blocked

I would give up everything to see my brothers clean

No second thoughts, it's fuck the cost or take me, leave 'em be

Take my money, say you love me even if it's lies

That connection so depressin' but it's all I got

--

When I die just play this fucking song

I was never meant for this, been tortured just to carry on

Couple coupes, lotta zeros and a couple homes

None of it is shit for me, cock the pistol and now I'm-

--

[Raindrop Walka] ♡

Aight

Head in the clouds, it look like it might rain again

Always holdin' back tears, it's how I manage to pay the rent

Pay the bills, place the bets so I don't have to chase the check

Verified through suicide, the glitz and glamour came and went

Wash my fuckin' soul, there's still that one stain is kept

I just wanna be loved, the root of all my pain

Except the type that comes with age and death

I can finally lay and rest, I'm owed a lil' peace

And I'm ready to erase the debt (I, I, I, I)

I never planned on showin' the world the face that hides behind the mask

I always thought the last thing I would hear would be the gun's blast

Fill in the black hole in my chest with sex and drugs, but it never lasts, it never lasts

Shit, two years ago Big Pharma should have just cashed me out

Now I got a deviated septum I'ma just wrap me out

Pat me down, ask me how I'm still depressed

All they see is me sad, all they see is lack of death

All they see is what they wanna see

Callin' me a wannabe

I don't wanna be in misery except a pharmacy

Killed that girl I wanna see, I wanna see her heart bleed

When she rips out my fucking heart and to the pharmacy

I'm a prideful person and take pride in my verses

Fuck your whole opinion, I don't care if it worsens

I'll ruin my reputation and make sure it's on purpose

Fuck this shit

--

When I die just play this fucking song

I was never meant for this, been tortured just to carry on

Couple coupes, lotta zeros and a couple homes

None of it is shit for me, cock the pistol and now I'm gone

[borisbubbles]

My favourite Dorian Quotes

Just as an addendum, since my previous didn’t exactly put across the hilarity of Dorian, here are my favourite quotes/conversations/reactions by Dorian Pavus in Dragon Age 3.  Edit 22/01: added a few more because Dorian just keeps giving.  60.  Dorian: Come on Varric, just answer the question. 😣 Varric: My mother didn’t raise any morons, Sparkler. 🙄 Dorian: But you must have an opinion! And you’re a Dwarf! Completely unbiased. Varric: There is no way I’ll answer “Which Inquisition Mage is the best dressed?”, not for all the gold in Orzammar. Vivienne: Also, the answer is obvious. 🙂 59. Dorian: So what's your estimation, Varric? Think we could win? Varric: 😱 You aren't asking me to give odds on our beloved Inquisitor's success?! 😛 Dorian: What would that look like? Three to one? 🤣 Varric: In his favor?  Dorian: After Corypheus pulled an archdemon out of his arse, are you joking? Inquisitor: You would actually bet against me?  Dorian: Now now, if I weren't here, it would be five to one at least. 😘 Inquisitor: I’ll take those odds, actually. 😏 Dorian: This is why I adore him so.  😍 58.  Cassandra: So Bull, about Dorian... Iron Bull: Yep, it’s true. 😁 Dorian: By all means, let’s discuss this all together. 🙄 Cassandra: If you’re both pleased Dorian: He’s happy, I’m happy, everybody’s happy!  Iron Bull: Awww, you’re happy. 😍 Dorian: 😣 Cassandra: 😄 57. You joke! they’ll be writing books about you, boring ones that will get it all wrong. Just you wait!   56.  Iron Bull: Yesss, we’re going to fight the dragon, boss? Oh THIS is gonna be GOOD.  Dorian: You are way too excited about this. 😑

55.  Blackwall: How do you get your hair to do that, Dorian? With magic? Dorian: With proper hygiene and grooming. Maybe the three of you should get acquainted. 🙄 54.  Cole: You’re happier now, Dorian Dorian: Oh is that what this light tingly feeling is? I suppose you’re right. 😏  Cole: Wishing but wondering, wounded and whistful Cole: What if he doesn’t want me after? Dorian: But he did. 😁 Cole: Now you’re smiling. It’s good.  😃 53. Varric: Does this shit make any sense to you? Dorian: Are you referring to the giant gaping hole in the sky, or the creature from a Chantry cautionary tale pretending to be a god? Varric: Either. I’m feeling generous. Dorian: What’s the matter? Some pretender comes along, tears the place down, declares himself king. That’s half of history. Varric: Corypheus is like that drunk uncle who refuses to leave the party? Dorian: Even after he puts a hole in the ceiling. Terribly common.  52.  Sera: You gonna warn me the next time you’re throwing your magic around? Dorian: As long as you’re careful where you shoot all those arrows Sera: You magic me, I’ll put three in your eye! Dorian: 😅 Now we can live together in peace and harmony!  51. Vivienne: Dorian, what did you think of little Sera’s last Red Jenny mission? Dorian: Hmm... I’d call it ‘medium’. 🤔 Vivienne: ‘Medium’, my dear? Dorian: It wasn’t rare, and it certainly wasn’t well done. 😏 50. Cole: Dorian, what is 'a slave'?  Dorian: FESTISBEIUMOCANAVERUM! 😨 Cole: You said I could ask questions! Dorian: I know I did, just... go ask the Inquisitor that one. 49. An optimist! 🤣  such a rare breed, I have stumbled upon a unicorn. 48. Dorian: What I wouldn't give for some proper wine.😫 Vivienne: Skyhold's steward is a sadistic little man who is trying to kill us. 🤢 Dorian: Perhaps he found a bargain he couldn't pass up, on vats of vinegar? 47. Cassandra: Why are you looking at me like that, Dorian? Dorian: I am trying to imagine what you would look like... in a dress.😈 Cassandra: Keep wondering. If my uncle couldn't put me in one, neither shall you. 46. Dorian: How do you want to be remembered, Cassandra? Valiant yet sexy rebel against the status quo? Cassandra: I don't have any control over how I'll be remembered. 🙄 Dorian: Sword raised high, blue scarf dramatically fluttering in the wind, sun rising behind you? Cassandra: Blue scarf?😒 Why would I be wearing such a thing? Dorian: It's a painting, of course! Work with me( It'll be fantastic! 🤗 45. Dorian: Why is it so cold? How do you southerners stand it? Iron Bull: What's the matter? Not enough slaves around to rub your footsies? Dorian: My ‘footsies’ are freezing, thank you! 😒 44.  Blackwall: Dorian, I’d appreciate it if you stopped refering to me as ‘that hairy lummox”.  😠 Dorian: When did I do that? Blackwall: At the tavern, the blacksmith’s, the stable. You said it to the gateguards when we left Skyhold! Dorian: hmm... 🤔 yes, that does sound like me.   🤗 43. Dorian: Watch out where you point that thing! 😡 Iron Bull: Dirty! 😏 Dorian: Vishante kaffas, I meant your weapon! 😡 42. Dorian: What would you say Blackwall's best feature is, Vivienne? Vivienne: His absence, of course. 🙄 Blackwall: I can hear both of you. 😒 41. Dorian: Did you know we are actually related Inquisitor? Inquisitor: We, what? Dorian: Not first cousins or anything. Can you imagine?  Dorian: I however did a bit of digging in my family tree, and somewhere down the netheregions of my line there was also a Trevelyan. Dorian: Perhaps the one who went to Ostwick to establish the branch? I knew we looked so alike for a reason. 😏 Inquisitor: Um, yay?  Dorian: Indeed! 😁 Yay! 40. I’m always nice. 😏 39. Dorian: I don't know if you've heard, but the rumours are that you and I are... intimate. Inquisitor: That's not such a bad thing, isn't it? Dorian: I don't know, is it? Inquisitor: Do you always answer a question with a question? Dorian: Perhaps you would like me to answer in a different fashion? 🤔 Inquisitor:  If you're capable. 😅 Dorian: 😘🥰😚 Dorian: 'If you're capable.' The nonsense you speak. 🤭 38. Dorian: You caught the eye of a young woman in that last village, Blackwall. Blackwall: I'm sure you're mistaken. 😒 Dorian: You're right. She was undoubtedly looking at me.🤭 37. Dorian: Vivienne, I have only the one question - why the Orlesian fixation with masks? Vivienne: It is The Game, darling. You never show the players your true visage. Dorian: A strange custom in a culture where people assassinate each other for putting too much salt in the soup Vivienne: An extra hurdle to be overcome. Fail at The Game, and you die. Dorian: And you people call Tevinter barbaric. 🙄 36. Dorian: You are smiling a great deal these days, Cassandra. 😉 Cassandra: I am not... smiling. 😒 Dorian: Now you're not, but only because I pointed it out to you. Cassandra: I am not a giddy schoolgirl! 😡 Dorian: That would have been easier to believe if you hadn't just blushed. 🤗 35. You’ll be surprised at the credit my tongue gets me, your Reverence.  34. Dorian: Sera, I see you are having fun with your illustruous paramour- Sera: WHAT? 😨 Is it showin'? Dorian: What? NO, oh heavens NO. 🤢 Dorian: I meant to ask if you're enjoying your new relationship. Sera: Then why not just say that? 🙄 Dorian: I did... in words you apparently don't understand. 😑 Sera: What's the point of words you know and others don't? Who'd you say them to? 🙄 Dorian: Letmejustdobothofusafavorandretractthequestion. 😡 Sera: Pity, because we're doing great. That's why I'm following her around with weirdies 🤗 33. It was fun to goad you, Cassandra. You get that knot between your eyes when you're flustered - Ah, look, there it is! Delightful!  🤗 32. Dorian: I half expect my mother to materialize from the crowd to criticise my manners. Inquisitor: Where would we be if you mother we really here? Dorian: Short one mage, after he's been dragged out by his earlobe. Inquisitor: I have a hard deal imagining that. 😅 Dorian: Picture me a young boy of five years then. She certainly always has. 🙄 31. Dorian: 'Official Mage to the Orlesian Court'. Well that sounds exciting. 🙄 Vivienne: It's an esteemed position, darling. One many mages should envy. Dorian: Yes, I suppose being paraded around like an exotic peacock is better than frantically running from templars. 🙃 Vivienne: Better an exotic peacock than one Tevinter rat amongst many. Dorian: Oh? A dig at my homeland? This should be fun. 😏 30. Sera: Dorian? Those words you say. What do they mean? Dorian: What, you mean like mendicant or ultimatum? 🤨 Sera: No, arse, when you're mad. 'Pish-anty cough-ass'. You're swearing, I know it. Dorian: Ah, 'vishante kaffas'. It's Tevene, relics of the old tongue. We still use the colorful phrases. Sera: And it means what? Dorian: Literally? 😏  'You shit on my tongue.' Sera: 😂 Why not just say that?  Dorian: A mystery for the ages.  29. Sera: Demons! Flappy robes! Dorian: Thieves! Dog Stink! Sera: Culty shits! Dorian: Treacherous teyrns! Sera: Wha- It’s not a proper game of ‘Your people are shit” if you just make up words. 🙄 Dorian: A ‘teyrn’ is a Fereldan title, just below that of a king. I thought you of all people would know that. Sera: Well that’s just... I... smartasses 🤬 Dorian: Too late! I believe that’s my round. 🤗 Sera: Piss! 😠 28.  Vivienne: You’re rather amusing, Dorian. Dorian: Your outfit’s entertaining, I’ll give it that.🙄 Vivienne: Pretending to be a shark from a land of sharks. But you’re not a shark and you’ll never be one, darling. They knew this as much as we do.   Dorian: I could have of course pretended, wore fancy clothes, convinced everyone I’m something I’m not.  Dorian: Then I could take a position at court, whore myself out, and desperately hope no one realizes what a fraud I am.  Vivienne: Such snapping for a fish without teeth! 😂 Inquisitor: I cannot believe the way you two speak to each other. 😨 Vivienne: Inquisitor whatever is the matter? We’re having a perfectly civil conversation. Dorian: It’s true. I’ve heard worse from the gardener back home.  27.   Dorian: Varric, you owe me five royals. I’d like them paid in candied dates. 😉 Varric: I haven’t lost that bet yet, Sparkler. Dorian: You said we would be arse-deep in trouble. This is more like knee-high. Varric: I didn’t specify whose ass, did I? 😏 Dorian: Leave it to a dwarf always lowering the bar. 🙄 26. I hope you tried the ham they were serving, by the way. Tasted of despair. Fascinating. 25. Dorian: Vivienne, we can continue this dance forever if you like. Vivienne: Certainly. Provided both of us are capable. Dorian: I mock Orlesian frippery and nonsense, you slam Tevinter decadence and tyrrany. Dorian: There's however something more important we must remember. Vivienne: And what might that just be? 🤨 Dorian: At least we're not Antivan. Vivienne: 🤢 Quite right. Thank the Maker. 🙏 24. Cassandra: You're not as handsome as you think, Dorian. Dorian: Ah, but I must be! Or you wouldn't have been thinking about it all this time.  😏 Cassandra: Anyone who claims it as often as you must be dreadfully concerned they're not. Dorian: Look at this profile - Isn't it incredible? Dorian: I picture it in marble. 😏 Cassandra: 😒 23. Flying cows over Minrathous? Preposterous! Okay that one is actually true, but the cows didn't have wings. 22. Dorian: I have only one question, Sera: did you cut your own hair?  Sera: Yeah. Why wouldn't I? 🙄 Dorian: You could try using something other than a rusty butter knife. Sera: Oh, excuse me while I dig up my diamond-studded hair-cutting whatevers. 🙄 Dorian: Scissors. 😏 The word you're looking for is "scissors." 😏 21. Iron Bull: Quite the stink-eye you've got going, Dorian. Dorian: You stand there, flexing your muscles, huffing like some beast of burden with no thought save conquest. 😡 Iron Bull: That's right. These big muscled hands could tear those robes off while you struggled, helpless in my grip. Iron Bull: I'd pin you down, and as you gripped my horns. Iron Bull: I. Would. Conquer. You. 😏 Dorian: Uh. What? 😨 Iron Bull: Oh. Is that not where we're going? 🤐 Dorian: No. It was very much not.😳 20. You can't call me pampered, Varric. 🙄 Nobody has peeled a grape for me in weeks. 19. Sera: Dorian are you going to warn me the next time you bust out in demons or sumthin? Dorian: 😂 How exactly do you picture me 'busting out’? Dorian: I am just walking along and *OOPS* - demon? Dorian: I mean it could happen, after years of training. You could also trip and impale your eye on an arrow. 😏 Sera: So are you going to warn me or not? 🙄 Dorian: Certainly. But only because you're so dear to me. 😘 18. Dorian: For being so unnerved by magic, you aren't shy about benefiting from its effects.🤔 Sera: I don't. I use normal things, not magic. 🙄 Dorian: You consider swathing yourself in flame or ice 'normal' and 'not magic'? 🤨 Sera: For one: it comes out a bottle. Sera: For two: I mess up, I get burned. You mess up, your head chucks up a demon. Sera: For three: Bottle, little burned, no demons. So there. 🤗 Dorian: That was only... you know, if it lets you sleep at night, never mind. 😒 17. Festis bei umo canaverum! I swear, if you don't come through this, I will kill you. 😖 16. Dorian: The first time I entered the Fade it looked like a lovely castle full of silks and gold. 😍 Dorian: I met a marvellous desire demon as I recall. We chatted and ate grapes before he tried to possess me. 😇   Vivienne: 🙄😒😠😡🤬 Dorian: Yes? I hear your southern Harrowings are slightly more strenuous. 😏 15. What do they call this place? A "bog"? Lovely word for it.  🙄 14. Dorian: Solas, what is this whole look of yours about? Solas: I am sorry? 🙄 Dorian: No, that outfit is sorry.😷 What are you supposed to be, some sort of woodsman? Dorian: Isn't that a Dalish thing? Don't you dislike the Dalish? Or is it some sort of statement? Solas: No. 😠 Dorian: Well, it says "Apostate hobo" to me. 😏 Vivienne: Unwashed apostate hobo, more specifically. 🙂 13. I AM TOO PRETTY TO DIE 😭 12. Dorian: Amatus, it's been so long. Did you miss me? Inquisitor: A little bit. Dorian:  😂 'a little bit' he says. I'll show you a little bit! Just you wait. 😏 11. Dorian: Sera, where do you get your arrows from? You have so many. 🤔 Sera: From your arse. That's where. 🙄  Dorian: My arse should open up a shop. It's apparently quite prolific. 😁 10. Ah, this reminds me of the time Mother took me boating in summer. Or rather, she had the servants take me on the boat while she sat inside with a cool drink.🙄  09. Inquisitor: Things are going well with the Bull, I take it? Dorian: He's glad I've returned, if that's what you mean. Nearly crushed three of my ribs with that ridiculous hug. 🙄 Inquisitor: You say that as if you don't like it. 🤨 Dorian: For such a great beast, he can be such a terrible sap 🙄 Dorian: [bullvoice] "I want to talk about my feelings, Dorian". Dorian: Ugh. 🙄 Inquisitor: 😂 you do like it Dorian: Quiet you! He'll overhear, and then where I'll be?🤫 08. Dorian: Sera, I cannot believe you, of all people, are scared of magic. Surely you can see nothing wrong with a properly used tool? Sera: What about all the mages waving their proper tools in people's faces? Dorian: There's an image. 😁 Sera: "What about Corfyface? How many proper tools does he have under him? Dorian: That's not... I don't think I can continue. 😬 Sera: I don't care how gifted you are, don't cram it where it's not wanted. 😡 Vivienne: Maker, how does she not know? 🙄 07. Just once we should enter a cave and see normal sized spiders. 🙄 06. Cassandra: After all the places we have been, I hardly expected us to find ourselves in another cave. Cassandra: Still, as mad as our lives had been, I would take any chance to be together.  😘 Dorian: Why seeker, after all these years, I never realized you felt this way!! Cassandra: ... Dorian: ... Cassandra: 😒 Dorian: Oh, you meant him. 😶 05. Mountains! 😠 Cold! 😠 "Let's bring Dorian!". 😒 04. Dorian: I heard a little rumour that somebody has been doing some training. As an assassin no less. Inquisitor: I thought the skills might come in handy. Dorian: Yes, I suppose a little flair is welcome, with all the killing you do. Inquisitor: I don't kill that many people. 🙄  Dorian: Are you joking? I'm only surprised you didn't kill someone walking over here. 🤨 03. Cole: Breath painful, stabbing, and then real stabbing, lungs full, frothing, scent of apples as it all goes black. Dorian: 'Death By Applepie' - A lovely poem by our dear friend Cole.  02. Blackwall: Corypheus, one of yours isn't he? Dorian: One of my mine? 🙄  Like a pet? 🙄 Like a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood? 🙄 Dorian: "Dorian, why can't you look after your little friends. Corypheus peed on the carpet again". Dorian: In this analogy, 'the carpet' is Haven. 😏 Blackwall: Is he or isn't he a Tevinter magister? 😒 Dorian: Meaning 'the source of everything bad in the world'? They are the same, yes? 😑 Blackwall: Sigh. Feels that way at times. 🙄 01. Inquisitor: No matter what happens, I wouldn't trade the years I spent with you for anything. Inquisitor: I love you. Dorian: I knew you'd break my heart, you bloody bastard. 😭

[antiresperidoneclub]

i havent posted anything in awhile but happy pride month yall! and, very much in me fashion imma take this time ta make another informational post! this installment is called

why assimilation is overall harmful to the queer community + the damage of pseudo-right wing ideas spread thruout the trans community!

CW: queerphobia, transmedicalism, bl*ir wh*te, k*lvin g*rrah, violence against queer ppl.

so, where do we start?

assimilation, what is it?

assimilation is a deliberate effort made by a minority/ marginalized group to (instead of become free) join the majority/privledged, which is wildly more accesible ta abled nuerotypical cis white lgb folks.

now, how does that apply ta th queer community? before that, we hafta look at th stark distinction between th LGBT community and th QUEER community.

because sadly its now different

imma make this as short as possible but basically,

despite its intentions when it was formed decades ago, th LGBT communiy an th way it functions is percieved is different. case in point, th term LGBT has been heavily gentrified and commodified especially by corporations tryina sell it to non-lgbt audiences. youll notice a majority of LGBT voices an advocates are usually white cis lgb ppls or are assimilationists. th term LGBT aswell has been heavily diluted and decontexualized from its roots, such as fightin for rights wit riots an demonstrations, bein heavily tied wit black an indigenous liberation, socialist ideals and memorializing th struggle for our freedom. its also (as apart of its gentrification) is bein forced ta be more 'family friendly' in an effort of control an ta make cash off of us an further assimilate us.

the QUEER community is a somewhat niche nowadays as it sticks fairly close ta th original goals as th LGBT community once had. such as wantin an willin ta fight for liberation rather than succumb ta assimilation. its also seen as a threat as it directly challenges th authority (capitlism, cops/military, goverment, white supremacy, fascism) for its mistreatment an oppresion against queer ppl and other marginalized groups. if th LGBT community is th privledged assimilations that can be proffited off of, then th queer community is more alike 'outcasts' or 'rejects' that arent as palatable ta a cishet majority ie; trans women/ trans/queer ppls of colour, more radicalized queer folks, or those impoverished.

so, with that said, how has/does assimilation harm queer ppl?

as i said, assimilation is disspraportionatly accesible ta able-bodied, neurotypical, cis, non-poor white LGB ppls (shocker) meaning th majority of queer poc, trans people, impoverished, and diasbaled/neurodivergent folks get left behind and continuosly stomped on in an attempt ta eradicate us. and it should be noted theres 2 types of assimilation

1. forced assimilation; forced assimilation is where marginalized ppls thru cultural eradication/genocide r forced ta strip themselves of their identity an join th majority which results in oppresion, discrimination, an further erasure of th ppls themselves. this is heavily seen within th queer community wit th AIDS crisis where those who survived were later branded as 'brave' by th very system that sought their demise in th first place, leavin our community in shambles.

2. chosen assimilation; chosen assimilation is where usually a small group/ or a singular person will disregard their people in an a attempt ta be spared from oppresion or discrimination. in terms of queer ppl (especially trans folks) th main contendors r blair white, kalvin garrah, an buck angel. blair is a stellar example of attempted assimilation. she not only rejetcs, but constantly puts her own people on blast publicly ta her audince of white cishet conservatives an (more often than not) fascists. not only that but she deliberatly associates wit th very ppl who seek her erasure an oppresion in an assbackwards attempt at salvation. more concrete examples include 1. showin herself as 'one of th good ones' or 'normal' 2. acting as if shes cishet 3. constantly self-hating ta appease those mentioned above 4. spewing dangerous an misinormed rhetoric aimed at trans ppls which directly affects trans poc an non-passing trans women. next, kalvin garrah. i was gonna write a whole thing on him but instead ill (below) link copshatemoe's videos about him.

so, now that we know how assimilation both forced an personal harms queer ppls in general, what about trans ppls an th trans community?

transmedicalism and its disasterous effects towards the trans community.

transmedicalism is a belif system of sorts that follows ideals such as

beliving trans ppls must be suffering from dysphoria to be trans

a trans person must want to transition to be trans

being trans is a mental illness/ neurological condition/ birth defect cause by unbalanced horomone levels or th existence of "male and female brains"

belivies HRT or surgerys are a 'cure' for dysphoria/ 'transness'

that neopronouns or non-lesbian, gay, bisexual, or binary trans folks are invalid or 'wannabes' who see th "lgbt community as a club of sorts to join jus because"

borderline or blatant rascist, transmysoginistic, ableist rhetoric.

intentional or not, that assimilation is key an becomin 'as close ta bein cis as possible' is th goal of transition.

now, i could spend ages rantin about how these belifs are blatently wrong but however rather than disecting them lets jus go over th direct harm these belifs have caused th trans community.

lets start wit nonbinary folks. nowadays as ive seen transmedicalism has become more open ta acceptin nonbinary folks but regardless they were one of th first punchin bags. since bein nonbinary in any facet isnt exactly 'medically sustained' its already seen as bullshit, but past that it opens th gates for neoprounouns an non-convetional identitys. enby ppls would be attacked constantly or called "trenders" in an attempt ta discourage them from even existing. this 'highschool bully' type of mentality along wit th superiority complex behind transmedicalism created a stark divide between "normal" trans ppls an th "weirdo, faker" trans ppls. not only did these attacks further stigmatize an already oppresed minority but also forced ppl ta hide themselves from they own community ta avoid ridicule an bullying. this type of harrasment has left these ppls wit trauma an fear of they identity bein challenged not only online but also in IRL queer spaces while they already hafta stay hypervigilant around cis ppl, now it seems th same around binary trans folks. not only have nonbinary ppls have been impacted however, binary trans ppls were left wit insecurities, wonderin if they dysphoria is 'rlly that bad compared ta others' and worrying about things they usually didnt care about. probably th biggest of those is 'passing'. passing is th action of looking as cis as possible ta blend in an avoid general treatments sustained by cishet ppls. i as a transwomen was directly affected by this rhetoric which caused me years of my transition spent not becomin myself, but becomin as close ta a cis girl as possible. this lead me ta become embarresed by my own community also factored in by havin virtually no trans friends IRL. this was th shared experince of many binary trans folks an nonbinary trans folks i know an am friends with. in conclusion, transmedicalsim has not only ostrasized an traumatized queer folks, but has also left insecurities an damage ta binaty trans folks aswell.

so, with that in mind, how do we combat, well, all of this an much more?

liberation

liberation is th action of freeing a marginalized group from its oppresive chains. an how would this look/work for th queer community?

majority of cishet ppls think that queer liberation ended wit marriage equality but thats very much not true. multiple basic human freedoms have been stripped from not only cis lgb queers but also trans people aswell. rights such as affordable housing witout discrimination, medical options for trans people being completly accesible or downright free, safe spaces or areas where were able ta exist free of fear of persecution or discrimination, better healthcare treatment towards queer ppl, things sometimes neccisary ta ones transition bein more accesible such as name/document changes, and many more things. but remember, none of this is possible witout ingigenous liberation/land back, black liberation, or under capitlism

anyways, i have 0 way ta end this so happy pride month an a very happy juneteenth!! if ur black ur more than welcome ta leave any gofundmes, cashapps, venmos etc in th notes or reblogs!

also, if you have any additions or points/topics i shouldve made or covered pls reblog wit them!

-alexis

[aliypop]

The Bee’s Knee’s

Wordcount: 1,926

Warning : Abuse mentioned

A/N: Another Au and this time it’s the 20′s @herosneednotapply​

"Get a wiggle on..." Karen suggested, blonde finger waves making their way towards the door. "Anyone wanna I don't know to tell us why?" Foggy asked, a hotshot lawyer from a family of butchers, "Didn't you hear the news..." Matt turned in his chair, typewriter on his desk, "Hear what news..." Foggy questioned. He didn't get out of the office much, let alone the butcher shop, "They're here!" 

"Who..." 

"Butt me, sis?" Ezra Shathinia Wayne, eligible bachelorette, and pure graded flapper, "Those things are going to kill you one day." Yonah sighed, sitting in the back seat of the limo. To say she was perfect was an understatement. She was as pure as cane sugar and as perfect as a freshly cut diamond, 

Or so that's what her father knew about her. 

"Eh, like, ya love affair with Angelina and Carlo..." Ezra poked at her sister, two crime lords of the underground, so fierce and feared, and yet they had the pearl that was "Yonah, I'm itchin for a good cig..." Ezra sighed her hands at her purse, beaded sparrows on it. "Get it yourself..." she sighed, her head leaning against the window, watching D.C. turn into  New York City. "Fine, but pass me my lighter... and drop the accent..."Ezra cared about her big sister and her big secrets, but if this was going to be their first time alone without their father, she needed to not be so- 

"What's wrong with the way I talk?" 

"It's forced... " Ezra chuckled, her blouse revealing her pearl necklace. 

"Whats forced about it..."

"You pronounce it like Tall-ak around him, but with that hotshot boyfriend, you say Tawlk..."  she laughed, 

"I don't know what you mean..." 

"Alright, Daisy Buchanan." she chuckled. 

"She's here..." 

"Who?" Foggy asked, peeping his head out the window catching the limo and the reporters, "And how do you know she's here!" Foggy asked Matt as he chuckled, "Smells like Chanel number five..." he nearly swooned, fixing his tie and his slicked-back pomade hair. "Too many damn stairs..." Yonah mumbled under her breath, beads of sweat getting caught up in her blue satin headband. Minx fur coat trailing behind her as she finally made it to his door, "Nelson and Murdock... made a name for himself, I see..." she mumbled, her eyes on the slightly rusting gold doorknob, definitely got the place for dirt cheap. 

"Ms. Wayne..." Karen smiled, "It's an honor to meet you." she smiled, "Uh, cigarette if you smoke or-" she watched the pin-curled-haired brown skin woman hang her fur coat up, "I don't smoke much, and please call me..." 

"Yonah..." 

"Mattie!" she ran to him, 

"You know her?" Foggy asked as Matt laughed, "Family friend," she responded, "It's been ages darling, no eons... centuries," Yonah giggled, "You've grown more handsome..." she teased, barely letting the lawyer get a word in, 

"I wouldn't know, but I imagine you've become even prettier." 

"She's one drape shape, Matt." Foggy blushed, not realizing he said it out loud, "You're a glad lad yourself, Mr. Nelson." she winked, sitting in Matt's small office watching as he shooed the other two away. "So what brings you to Hells Kitchen, Yonnie?"  Matt asked. It wasn't that he was expecting anything of her, but the last time they fully saw each other, she was in a heap of trouble.

" I graduated..." she smirked,

"Congratulations, star shine." he smiled back at her, lighting his cigarette, "Howard Law and I figured..." she leaned in playfully. "That I get you a job .." he laughed, "The same woman who dates crime bosses..." 

"I didn't know Carlo was a crime boss..." 

"Wasn't talking about him dollface," Matt smirked. He could hear the silent roll of her eyes, "You'd get us debarred before we'd even start." he chuckled, "But..." she began to pout, oh how he hated making her upset, "But for you..." he held her hand, "My good ole friend," he teased as she joked, "I'm aging the more you talk..." she grumbled, 

"The Catholic in me says I want you here Monday at 9 am." 

"What about 7?"

"Now you're showin off," he smirked,

"Well, well, if it ain't Ms. Jessica Jones..." Ezra smirked. Jessica had been an on-off fling from time to time, but yet here they were in the same building on the same floor as neighbors, "Here to raise hell, I see..." she sighed, her palazzo pants flaring off to show her heels. "As always..." she winked, "Shame we ended on such tough terms..." Ezra sighed, blowing her smoke into a heart, "You're the one who called off the engagement..." she shook her head, "Was it..." Ezra asked, looking for her key, "In front of your bastard of a father..." Ezra only shrugged, "Still bitter, I see..." she sighed, walking into her apartment. It was a small studio apartment, nothing too grand but enough to glam and invite the company of

her eyes focused on the shaking bars of her fire escape, hands on her thigh searching for her knife gifted by her mother.

"Come out, come out, where ever ya are..." Ezra smirked, "Make my fuckin day, mister- " aburn hair poking in from her window, "Fuckin Mikey... should've known..." she laughed, "I smelled a dead bird, and I came to see it, didn't know it was you." he laughed, Michael Murdock, unlike his younger brother, 

He was crooked that he owned a speakEasy and was somehow a man of the cloth. "Well, I'll be..." she laughed.  "Yeah, ripped it from a guy paid to change the name on the license." he laughed, 

"It's an honest livin." 

"It's a lie, Michael..." 

"Ain't we all liars in the eyes of God..." 

"Sinners Mike. It's sinners." she sighed, "Jesus Christ, why are you here, " she groaned, "I got an offer from the big one..." he smirked, "From Capone?" she asked, 

"Nah, Fisk..." 

"Shit..." 

"Shit is right, sweetheart..." 

"Where do you think you're going dressed like that..." Yonah's hand began to tremble, clipping on her earring, "Out..." she mumbled, how in the hell did he even find her so fast, let alone get in her apartment. "Don't you know your body is for my eyes only..." he grabbed her by the jaw, eyes focused on his, "Carlo I-" he squeezed tighter, "Talkin back are we..." Angelina growled, standing behind her, pulling her hair, but this was what love was right pain, suffering, bloodied noses, black eyes, laying on your floor bending to someone every word because if you didn't, "Daddy wouldn't want to find out that his little girl did pin-up would he..." she shook her head as Angelina's grasp on her neck was tighter, 

"N-No..." Yonah coughed, the two leaving her there, knocked out and helpless,

 "Sweetie..." 

               "Sweetie..."

"Sweetheart!" 

"Where am I..." she looked up as Yonah stretched, "Well... I'm patchin you up," the young showgirl said, feathers on her head, "I've died and gone to heaven..." she chuckled, "Eh, I've died before and heaven is not a pair of dazzling tits in your face." she chuckled, "I wasn't uh..." Yonah blushed, getting embarrassed, "Don't worry about it, names Adelaide, but you can call me Addie." she smiled, "I'm-" Addie rolled her eyes, "Yonah Shanel Wayne talk of the town." she finished her sentence for her. "Thanks for the patch-up, Addie..." 

"Of course... though you're gonna want a steak on that eye."

"I uh bumped into a door..." she mumbled, covering it up, Addie only rolling her eyes, "Matt Murdock bumps into doors too." she laughed, "Course he could bump into me a few times." she swooned as Yonah chuckled, "You're funny..." she grinned, "Gotta be with the war ending seven years ago..." Addie sighed, 

"My father got drafted, but uh, he was no god..."

"No good?" 

"Last of the family line." she chuckled, "Mmm, a scandal," Addie grinned, "Like you and Matt..." Yonah added, 

"What no..."  

"Why not..."

"Could never happen..." 

"And whys that..." Yonah asked, handing her, Her garters, "I own the whoopie spot..." Addie laughed, "Booze, broads, bangs..." she winked, "It sounds marvelous..." Yonah sighed happily, "Eh, it's a livin, a little illegal to pitch whoo with a  Catholic lawyer there..." 

"I beg to differ." Yonah swooned, "I know Mr. Murdock very well and-" 

"Good night Ms. Wayne..." Addie handed her a pillow, "Breakfast is at eight, and I expect you up to help by 6." she sassed.

"Do you smell blood..." Matt asked, "Who the hell smells blood, Matthew..." Foggy laughed, "No, I just wanna know where's my egg sandwich and coffee?" he sighed, as Matt went silent, "You didn't..." he froze, "I got hungry..." Karen shrugged,  "You're in the way, Mr..." Yonah growled, tapping her shoes, not a wrinkle in her Chanel dress, "Whadaya gonna do about it, sweetheart..." the slightly larger and older man said. She was like a storm and- "Shoot you or something..." she mumbled under her breath, opening the door, "Couldn't shoot me if ya tried..." he said, following her,

 "Coffee for Foggy and a new lighter for Matt."

"How'd you know..." Foggy grinned, "Little birdy named Addie told me." she chuckled, watching from the glimpse of her eye as the man from before had been sitting, "Who's he waiting for..."She whispered.

"Looking for red..." he winked as Foggy gulped,

 "Who are you, and who's red," she questioned, 

"Detective Castiglione..." the metallic smell getting stronger, "Red," he smirked, "Got any leads..." the door closed to his office. A detective and a damn good-looking one, her eyes focused on his through the glass of Matt's office. 

"Who's the girl..." 

"A friend..." Matt smirked, "What's the case..." he asked, lighting another cigarette, "Those'll kill ya one day Red." Frank laughed, "Worlds already on fire, Frankie..." Matt shrugged, "Mmm, Falcone's grandsons in town looking to slide a few bricks in and bounce town with Fisk..." Frank sighed, "What's this gotta do with me?" Matt asked, tapping his fingers on his desk, "Your brothers an accessory..." Matt took a deep drag of his cigarette, "Figures..."

"And I think she's in on it too..." he nudged, towards Yonah, who was sitting on Foggys desk with a steak on her eye, "What makes you say that..." 

"Tell me the truth Yonah, please..." Foggy asked, "Well..." she took a deep breath, "I... hit a door." her eyes ventured off to his, brown ones that told dark secrets. She wanted nothing more than to pull on the detective's tie and- 

BANG!

"Damn it, Yonah!" Foggy sighed, "You're lying to me ..." he  groaned, 

"Excuse me, red..." Frank stood up from the chair as Matt gave him a nod, "I...I don't wanna talk about it." Yonah looked down as both Karen and Foggy backed away from her, strong hands placed on both sides of her as she froze. He smelled of aftershave, copper, and, 

"You wanna tell me what's wrong... or are you gonna shoot me." he carefully removed the steak placing, his thumb on her cheek looking at the swelling, 

"He hit me..." 

"He who..." Matt asked, his blood boiling, 

"Carlo..."  she rasped as Frank growled, " fuckin bastard huh..." he shook his head, "For how long..." Karen asked as Yonah began to tense up. 

"You don't gotta answer that..." he looked at Karen as she mouthed out sorry, "You can stay with me..." Matt mentioned as Yonah smiled at him, 

"She can't..."

"Why can't I..." Yonah glared at him,

"Active crime scene..." 

"Since when...", "Since I took your case..." he kept his eye contact with her, "I don't want any trouble..." she growled, 

"You already are..." 

[jdaviswords]

The Dark Side

This could be the last time

I hold you in my hands

Though I'm minimalistic

this material possession

has been a blessin'

and holds so much meaning

hidden beneath the ambiguous

messages

My tool

I change pace to a different world

who would've thought

I'd ever romanticize such a change

But this thing and I have been linked

since the pre-covid age

which seems like such a historic age

...flip the page

The moment

seems to always fade

Perhaps my heart

is attracted to darkness

perhaps an artist thrives

like a running faucet

hitting a spoon

splashing about

like a baboon

throwing water balloons

Who would've thought

a half past noon

concludes nothing

other than it's noon

my dood

I can get a bit

about around

like a goon

left on read

like the flag on the moon

...in my head it's said

and then

I'm like wait...

...too soon?

I couldn't do the constraints

of losing the war with my brain

so I trained myself

to come here

when everything's unclear

Magnitude

I can be crude

often to the point

like a tiger tooth

initially off-putting

like Collinsworth in the booth

but after time

my voice can soothe

I've got a vision unmatched

like Eminem on the track

except...

...not like that

I can't be ruthless

like some cheese on a Mac

but to play with the vernacular

of words

I can consider that

Not to step to greatness

90s Nickelodeon

like I am All That

but I do have fun

and I'll leave that

...at that

Too cool to get the colonel, cap

I could've missed that

but I swished that

I have about four tats

am allergic to cats

and something else

about something else

that rhymes with

"AT"

I'm back in black

like thunder struck

me on my back

Charred scarred

...have I gone too far?

Wait scratch that

So I lied about that

which lead me to this

who would've thought

to have thought a thought

like this

I've unlocked the next level

a step closer

to showin Bowser

this fist

A gamer through and through

dating back to Mario Kart

as a kid

A competitor at heart

the competition within

myself

never putting the jar on the lid

Each day I battle the self conflict

Sometimes I feel like Phillip Rivers

towards the end of his career

...completely lost it

And other times

I feel like David Tyree

and holy sheeeee

...he caught it?!

And though there are times

that I may drop it

...I can always reconcile here

where all is well

and I feel like a prophet

[fragileizywriting]

you know? speaking of demon lovin' i gotta go back in there and fix a couple of things

i've been slowly rereading it (i absolutely cannot chew through my own fanfics without groaning at how stiff every single sentence is, so i usually can't do it) and i've been realizing that it honestly sounds like a pilot episode.

like, it DOES! all the characters are there but i can feel how i wasn't certain how to make them mesh together. i've gotten the hang of it now (it's been like six months since i started this au, after all) so i know how to mish and mash and mesh the three of them to make it work. but the first chapter especially is lacking some of the things that i thought i had put in it, or some things that don't work at all anymore.

let's go over some of the things i wanna put in it!!! because what else is there to do? i'm not at all procrastinating writing. whatsoever.

at all

1) the first chapter is absolutely missing more marinette and adrien bickering with each other. point blank.

i wouldn't even consider the "arguing" that they do in the first chapter to be enough in the slightest. they don't even argue. they're even friendly and "amiable", if that's close enough terms.

which is fine!!! which is lovely!!!!! but i want them to get under each other's nerves!!! where's the tension?! where's the "oh lord oh lord i want her so badly" ? where's the scene where luka just asks them to go get a room already???

christ, where's the scene where marinette just. grabs their faces and they freeze because marinette is a very touchy person and they're not used to it and make it more cohesive, izy, let them be caught of guard by marinette's actions, so that it fits in with the rest of the chapters!!!

like, i've written that adrien and marinette used to argue, but i haven't actually had them snipping at each other aside from like bits and pieces in the following chapters-- i really want to shimmy in a couple of pieces of dialogue in there where they're arguing about something at the bar and luka's trying his best not to roll his eyes or just plain quit from how annoying the two of them can get. even before the initial competition that sends the entire rest of the "plot" (gratuitous use of that word, i am aware) into motion.

give me marinette grabbing for adrien's hand or patting his arm while the three of them are having a conversation, sending adrien into a brain freeze!!!!! let marinette kiss luka's hand!!!!! which is very important to the plot, actually. let marinette kiss the both of their hands. was that even proper english? you know what i mean!!!! give me more touchy touchy personalization of these characters, past izy, i'm yearning to see how they differ showing their affections to each other!!!!

2) I NEED TO FIX LUKA'S AGE

i don't think i need to explain this, but in chapter three i wrote that "luka is older than adrien by 3,000 or so years" which is, like, not wrong? but also, no, he's much older. i mean. duh.

but would that give anything away, i feel like? i mean, anyone who wants to find out the "truth" about luka would have to read wing showin'/fallin' but, like. maybe i could've added a little bit more luka. i think this is why i felt like i was focusing too much on marinette/adrien's side of the relationship, which drove me to come up with the idea in the first place-- this bitch doesn't have any backstory at all in demon lovin'. das my own fault. i wanna fix that.

maybe i was too busy writing about other things (and a few come to mind, mainly, the whole PWP part of the fic). the only person in this fic who really had a thing going on was marinette, who was the star of the show. i wouldn't change that in the slightest! but maybe i would've left some more hints in demon lovin' that luka isn't a demon after all. i don't think the first-time reader cares all that much. but it's the continuity that's really getting to me.

this really does stem from like, me not actually knowing what i wanted luka to be, which is hilarious, given that he's my favorite of the three (that's not true. they're all my favorites. but i'll take a bullet for him. he's a centimeter higher than adrien and marinette. a millimeter. micrometer... mmmm. maybe i have a bias.) but now that i know what luka is and wasn't, i gotta find a way to incorporate a couple of lines in there. none of these changes will be rewriting a whole chapter, or anything!!! they're just bits and pieces of dialogue that no one will hardly notice.

3) nath isn't the enemy!!!!

we're getting into the whole this >

territory again, but okay. so.

i promise (promise!!!) you that i have a fic in the works where i convince you that he's a good person-- all the meanwhile providing lukadrien-but-only-because-marinette's-at-work content (you'll understand when this fic ever comes out, not to worry, it will be an attempt at comedy.) you know, i'm gonna have to make a timeline just to keep track of what fic goes where. hold that thought. he's just a man who was in love who came home one day to see his entire Cradle metaphorically on fire and factions starting between his own polycule!!!! he wants his Cradler back!!!!! this isn't game of thrones, this is just nath wanting his life back together. and he needs the only person on earth that could possibly herd the succubi sheep back together, mariiiiii.

i wish i had made him more sympathetic, but still have him be annoying enough so that adrien and luka have no reason to be fond of him. maybe i'll go back and tweak some of his dialogue.

if you need me, i'll be continuing my slow pace reading through demon lovin' in preparation to write the prequel!!!! even though i'm still procrastinating. procrastinatin'.