#am I just incapable of showing grace and being a compassionate listening ear | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sun-lit-goth · 1 year ago

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It’s just like, I don’t know how to take control of a situation, or speak my boundaries without being like “it’d be easier if we just never talked” but I can’t do that now, and usually when I speak up I feel like I’m being unreasonable and go back on my own boundaries to keep the peace or return to normal, and I can’t do that anymore either! I don’t want them to be so rigid but I want my free time, and I want to just be wanted and not have my attention demanded in any capacity unless it’s like needed, u can’t depend on one person or anyone to suspend ur feelings of loneliness

#and it’s not like she really needs me or even wants to talk about anything because baby it goes back to her ex all the damn time #and yeah I can’t just ghost her cause we’re fucking cousins!! and I love her to death but goddamn she’s been so annoying lately #and I didn’t want to say it cause I only know it hurt her feelings even further but her dad was right about all of her constant complaining #driving me away #and I could never side with him cause of how he treats her #but he was right as much as I don’t want to admit it #this suit always happens in our relationship and I’m usually like #am I just incapable of showing grace and being a compassionate listening ear #and I know that’s not the case #if it was she would not talk to me #I just don’t want this to mean I can’t have close freinds #cause obvi this is a part of it #this is a part of strong healthy relationships #but I don’t need this #this isn’t working for me #I’d prefer to go days without talking to anyone outside of my immediate family and that’s just it #unless you actually want to connect it not interested anymore for anyone’s attention seeking behavior #I’ve done it myself and I’m fed up with it just the sane #I understand #I empathize #but I can’t entertain it anymore

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