#always surprised im still alive
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all those years, and you're still here
you're still you
thank you for being with me
happy birthday
#digital art#my art#oc#aozora#kaia#kaito#every year i am sappy#this is my real birthday#always surprised im still alive#wahoo i made it through the year
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so uh the yearning paid off?
#had a crush on this one guy for i dont even know how many years and then went through the worst summer of my life#like genuinely surprised im still alive rn kind of summer and then he reaches out and tells me hes liked me the whole time too#and now i get to kiss him and compliment him and cuddle him and play with his hair like ive always wanted to huh what??????#and he compliments me so so much and hes so so gentle with me in a way ive never been handled before and it just feels like a fever dream#like im gonna wake up tomorrow and its all just a dream and we'll go back to just being friends#its so fucking awesome but like oh my god was i ever in the throes to get to this kind of euphoria#he said hes gonna cosplay geto for me for my birthday i am literally in love with this man
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💯🪐✨
#ITS SO SO GOOD OMG IM GONNA SAY IT AGAIN: WE’RE SO BACK!!!!#being completely objective this is on the top of my favorite kpop gg albums list this year!#I genuinely love every song they gave me everything they truly captured Loona’s colors so well with the lore in the mv and the sound#Loona is so alive still can’t believe they revived OEC and now this#the members get to shine more it’s like the units we always wanted f*ck you again BBC#the intro is just magical#perfect... « searching for their friends 🥹#Real World really surprised me the beginning sounds so much like a RV song I LOVE it and oh my their vocals on it are so good#really impressed by the vocals and production of this album#Colouring might be my favorite it’s very Loona makes me realise how important their vocal colors are to Loona's sound#like Gowon’s tone give it that otherworldly feeling#Newtopia ooooh yessss the instrumental reminds me of OEC the production again is AMAZING this sound suits them so well!!!#Strawberry Soda is so refreshing such ear candy how wonderful & heartwarming that Yves is part of this amazing album#can’t wait to hear more of what she writes#Day by Day is the perfect closer to this perfect album it’s so uplifting it makes me so hopeful and excited about Loossemble’s future#honestly 10/10 what a flawless redebut#went beyond my expectations#very very proud and emotional I can’t find the words#every song is on my best kpop b sides of 2023 ) / current playlists & on repeat#can’t wait to receive my physical album and for Chuu Heejin and Yves' solos then ARTMS full group debut aaaaah we made it out of the drough#Loossemble#kpop#ggs#girl groups#music#korean#2023#Spotify
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Why is it all so hard.
#just#being a person and talking with people and being normal and allowing ourselves to be ourselves#why is it easy to talk in one format and impossible in another. its the same people on the other side. youre being stupid.#why cant we just enjoy things we should enjoy. why do we always have to sit and overthink everything after the fact which doesnt help anyon#why do we always want to run away. we just want to run away. so sick and tired of having to be a person i just want to run away#im sick of the fucking migraines every goddamn day im sick of having to muster the courage to fucking exist at all why does living have to#be so fucking painful. physically and emotionally its too much and yet. and yet. Even when trying to take a break we cant take a break#even when we try to find home we still end up feeling lost due to no one's fault but our own#it feels like even saying we are tired is something we arent allowed. like other people have it worse#other people actually do things. youre not tired. youre just fucking narcicistic and lazy#everyone says they enjoy spending time with us. how can i believe it.#when we walk around like a gun waiting to go off is it any surprise that we are held at arm's length#when someone shows us genuine affection we freeze up and have a panic attack#and now i dont. i dont know how to fix things. nothing is wrong but we cant put it back together.#no one is upset no one hates you and yet. we cant help but feel we should be alone.#im so sick of being alive for the sake of others and yet i can never find a reason to live for myself#if art is worth the pain does that make my suffering for the experience of art worthwhile?#will i ever make anything i can truly be proud of? or will it always just. be little incomplete pieces.#mastering skills so slowly that every attempt is like taking a towel to a fountain in an attempt to keep the statues dry.#vent
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so august 2018 is when my peak being-crazy-made art craziness happened, huh
#and then as soon as i left that situation all of my art became normal again lmao#i went from drawing weird cryptic things that quite literally would only ever make sense to me#to just. drawin landscape stuff like normal again sdhvfdvghsd#i mean there a couple cryptic things here n there after but like. not nearly as cryptic at all. like you could p much easily make out what#is trying to be conveyed. the other shit is like. nothing. you couldn't understand unless I had to explain everything that happened#gotta say guys doing shrooms and being abused do not mix well at all#bc when im not being abused and im on shrooms shit is great. im feeling lit. all i wanna do is draw nature stuff#but that moment in my life? phew...#vent#i literally thought I died. like i literally thought I wasn't actually alive and I was in some mirror version of earth that was the#underworld-- so much happened. its kind of distressing to think about all the weird fucking visions i got#and its not even like it was always like that when I did shrooms with that person- initially in the love-bombing phase I was fine.#all of my art from then looks pretty fuckin normal save for ig more colorful stuff and trippy patterns or whatever. but otherwise fine#if anything it enhanced my art#its only after the gaslighting and the putting me down and the withdrawing love shit started happening that i just like. snapped.#idek. it was all so surprising to me because they really did convince me they loved me.#not only all of that abuse-- also the enabling my conspiracy theory brain too which didn't help#which ironically my art didn't have much do to with actual conspiracy theories but the mindset was implemented in to me so#there was a lot of weird delusions and paranoia and just like. stuff that didn't make sense but also did if I explained it?? idek#there was like a consistent story to my weird visions but it didn't make sense also. like there was no real reason for things to be what#they were or look the way they did or whatever#but there Was a consistent story still#its something i *want* to encapsulate into maybe a comic or picture book or something but like. idek if i could encapsulate it all#theres so many bits and pieces that idek if i could fully convey- idk#dawg even my stuff from after my couple of 'acid' trips wasn't as confusing and cryptic as the stuff after being abused#one common theme in a lot of it is its intentionally repelling. every part of my being knew I needed to be away from that person in spite#of how they would pretend to be friendly with me so some of that art is trying to scare them away in a weird cryptic way that tbfh#they probably didn't understand either whenever a pic was trying to do that like what it even was trying to say- thats kinda how fucking#crazy i got from that whole situation. i think part of me felt like that at least if it was vague and unhinged that it would scare them#away idrk. i do think it worked lol. even if it doesnt really fully make sense at all. idk. but 0/10 one of the worst periods of my life
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would you maybe write an smau (oscar x norris or leclerc!reader) where the reader is just super clumsy and everyone makes fun of that?
ᯓᡣ𐭩 SUCH A KLUTZ ! ᡣ𐭩ᯓ
pairing. oscar piastri x leclerc!reader
summary. in which reader can’t walk straight to save her life and formula fans (as well as some of the drivers) find it extremely amusing, while her boyfriend is the greenest flag of all time.
yourusername



liked by oscarpiastri, francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 89 623 others.
yourusername rumour has it that the best couple on grid is enjoying the summer break and the rumors are TRUE! though it is also said that the girl in third slide fell off the scooter and got a concussion so her boyfriend took her phone away for three days — this may or may not be true!
view all comments!
user1 oscar is so whipped the guy is the first like whenever she posts something 😭😭
user2 i know ehic isnt a thing in monaco unfortunately but my other european girlies please remember to get yourself an ehic card if you travel across europe it can save you a lot of nerves if you injury yourself on vacay 😭😭😭
priniya european girlies always remember to have a valid european health insurance card! <3
oscarpiastri she might say its not true but it is 👎👎 the girl almost gave me a heart attack
landonorris yourusername someone should lock you up because at this rate youre gonna hurt yourself by breathing
yourusername im having a brat summer ☹️
arthur_leclerc dont think its how it works lutin
francisca.cgomes rumour has it that she didn’t take her girlfriend with her to her trip
lilymhe rumour has it that she broke her other girlfriend’s heart
yourusername NOOOO IM SORRY 😭😭😭 LET ME MAKE IT UP WHEN THE BREAK ENDS
marverstappen1 girl how do you even function with that clumsy brain of yours?
yourusername kellypiquet please tell p that max is making fun of me because i got hurt
kellypiquet she’s making you a card rn
maxverstappen1 our house turned into a glitterlandia because of that card
yourusername I LOVE HER SO MUCH
user3 i honestly cant wait for the pyn reunion in zandvoort 🥹🥹🥹
yourusername same shes my true one 👊👊
charles_leclerc oscarpiastri take your aussie hands off my baby sister or ill crash into you in zandvoort 😁
charles_leclerc for legal purpose this may or may not be a joke
yourusername crash into him and i’ll do something worse than have his hands on me and make you watch
francisca.cgomes



liked by pierregasly, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and 432 621 others.
francisca.cgomes a girls night gone wrong…
— tagged alexandrasaintmleux, yourusername
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user4 i bet my LIFE that yn had to go to the er 😭😭😭
pierregasly THIS is what you meant by a surprise??????
francisca.cgomes surprise . . . 😦
alexandrasaintmleux it was fun while it lasted . . .
user5 WHY DOES THE COMMENTS SEEM LIKE YN DIED WHERE IS HER COMMENT
user6 yn rn 💀🪦🪦
user7 you are not funny! hope that helps ❤️
charles_leclerc girl where is my sister 😭😭😭😭
yourusername WHY ARE YALL ACTING LIKE I DIED?????
user8 SHES ALIVE YOU GUYS
oscarpiastri kika you were supposed to bring her back in one piece?
francisca.cgomes sorry it was not my fault
francisca.cgomes literally not my fault this time a guy bumped into her shoulder and she fell 😭😭😭
yourusername i sprained my ankle :(
alexandrasaintmleux we still love you 🫶
user9 ngl i would give my leg to be a part of this friendship
user10 same
landonorris petition to keep yourusername locked in a cage
user11 😧😧😧
yourusername you gotta catch me first 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
pierregasly i second this
lilymhe i third
alexandrasaintmleux ily yn but i fourth ☹️
twitter !


user13 WHEN ITS GONNA BE MY TURN???
user14 i need an oscar in my life but idk if i wanna be yn 😭
user15 you r so real for that oomf
user16 ngl i wish i could be oscar to be with yn
user17 god just knew that if she made yn flawless she would be too much for mortals
user18 she ?
user17 god is a woman and her name is pascale leclerc 🙂↕️🙂↕️
user19 LMAO
lando.jpg



liked by alex_albon, yourusername, logansargeant and 772 812 others.
lando.jpg never accept an invitation from yourusername for a dinner at her house because there’s a 100% chance she’s gonna burn herself while making you food
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oscarpiastri shouldnt have invited YOU
lando.jpg ??? MEAN ???
oscarpiastri dont make fun of my clumsy girlfriend
yourusername when he’s protective ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
yourusername i burnt myself while YOU ALL WERE LAUGHING
user20 oscar was laughing too?😭
arthur_leclerc he was glaring at everyone laughing while looking after yn
user21 oscar is the bestest boyfriend possible i need an oscar in my life
user22 yourusername can you fight?
yourusername i have three older brothers, go figure it out
user22 (。•́︿•̀。)
charles_leclerc cant believe they didn’t invite ME and they invited YOU
arthur_leclerc she invited me and enzo LOL
user23 lando.jpg comeback to make fun of oscars gf 😭😭😭
charles_leclerc SHE WAS MY SISTER FIRST
user24 yn is a klutz first human second
oscarpiastri



liked by pascale_leclerc, nicolepiastri, yourusername and 921 728 others.
oscarpiasti a few things that summer break gave me: a dog (yes, i’m officially a dog dad), relaxing time with my friends n family, a fiancée and lots of headaches due to the clumsiness of my gorgeous fiancée.
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yourusername i love youuuuuu
hattiepiastri THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT???
hattiepiastri yourusername YOURE MARRYING MY BROTHER????
hattiepiastri HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??
yourusername i flipped a coin
georgerussell63 it probably hit you in the face too, no?
user25 IMAGINE THE FAMILY GATHERINGS???
user26 hold on is oscar gonna go there as charles’ son or yn’s throphy husband??
user27 the family dynamics must be crazy??? because wdym his girlfriend’s brother ADOPTED him??
oscarpiasti fiancee’s*
user27 oh hes not playing
user28 this gon be soooo awkward at the family dinner
yourusername BURN THE PAPERS charles_leclerc HES MINE NOW
charles_leclerc HE WAS MINE FIRST
nicolepiastri i’m pretty sure he was mine first 🥰
pascale_leclerc now we have to share children nicolepiastri
landonorris love you guys but you shouldn’t have a wedding because with yns abilities she might turn the party into a funeral
mclaren so glad to have yn in the mclaren family! 🧡
user29 engagement this engagement that we KNEW you would tie the knot sooner or later WHAT IS THE DOGS NAME 🗣️🗣️🗣️
oscarpiastri pepper :)
user30 yn and lorenzo both engaged in 2024?? leclerc siblings are going STRONG
lewishamilton congratulations to you guys 💚💚
sebastianvettel lots of love and patience with that one, oscar :)
user31 not the girls not congratulating oscyn… fake friends?
user32 gtfo they prob knew abt it already and congratulated them IN PERSON and not in instagram photo comments
francocolapinto lost my chance 😞😔😭😭😢
user33 LMAOOO??? bro saw her at ONE (1) race and fell in love
user34 honestly cant blame him
user35 pls never media train him
yourusername pls franco never change 🫶
pierregasly pls dont elope i need that free food
yukitsunoda0511 dude youre a MILLIONAIRE?
pierregasly dude gtfo
yukitsunoda0511 if i were them i would elope just to spite you
oscarpiastri dont give yn any ideas pls
yourusername no eloping for us i need my brothers to walk me down the aisle 😁😁😁
georgerussell63 to make sure you don’t trip over the dress?
yourusername youre officially uninvited 👎
user36 SHE WANTS CHARLES ENZO AND ARTHUR WALKING HER DOWN THE AISLE??? OH IM GONNA KILL MYSELF
#oscar piastri x leclerc!reader#oscar piastri <3#oscar piastri drabble#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri au#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#op81 fluff#op81 fic#op81 imagine#op81#op81 x reader#op81 smau#formula 1 x reader#f1 smau#charles leclerc x reader#lando norris x reader#ln4#cl16#f1 social media au#f1 instagram au#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x lec!reader#oscar piastri rec#niki’s works 🫂
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north korea constantly spouting nuclear threats to the us is sooo fucking funny to me. they have ~30 warheads trying to take on over 5,000.
#the only reason nk is still standing is bc the us doesnt want to be responsible for bombing an entire country to oblivion#always so funny to me it really is#im surprised kim is even alive still i thought he died like 3 years ago from a hear attack LOL
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SUPERSTAR

pairing: paige bueckers x fem!reader
content: party!p being drunk and clingy and a maybe a little annoying, fluff without plot, the fuck ass net, language, the authors love language is physical touch and you can really tell
wc: 3.0k
synopsis: Paige Bueckers is a lightweight. Knowing that, you really shouldn’t have been all too surprised by the post-win afterparty.
notes: obligatory post natty fic?? i say yes! cooking one up for azzi too, idk when it will get posted but expect it soon. i dont care how much homework i have to procrastinate. side note, watching them play live was such a surreal experience, i'm still thinking about it and there are so many emotions that i can't put into words. they deserved this win so bad and i love my team so much 😩 i also wrote the second half of this while watching the men’s natty and all i have to say is im a misandrist and go huskies! as always i hope y'all enjoy 🫶
You liked to think that you were an expert in a few niche categories.
The first is basketball. You grew up listening to the reverb of the bounce echoing in the gym. You learned how to dribble before you learned how to multiply. More often than not, you could usually tell when a shot was going into the net as soon as it left your hands. This is all to say you were pretty decent at basketball, although you’re sure that dropping a modest fourteen points in the national championship match and taking home the trophy makes you a little more than decent at ball.
Basketball aside, you weren’t lacking in the skills department. KK jokes that you and Carol share the title as the moms of the group since you’re so good at conflict resolution – although you prefer the term “trying to keep everyone alive.” More often than not, you’ll find Morgan standing at your door with a bag of groceries in hand, a wide smile on her lips in hopes that you’ll cook her dinner because, according to her, you just make the best carbonara she’s ever had. You’ve never been good at saying no to Morgan – she was yours and Aubrey’s shared freshman and after her surgery, you’ve made a point of spending as much time with her as possible because you can tell she’s not having an easy time with watching everyone play while she’s on the sidelines.
The one thing that you’re certain you’re an expert in is Paige Bueckers. You know her inside and out and on and off the court. The two of you started as rivals in high school, although your friendship truly blossomed during AAU competitions and Team USA where you had to play together. The distance and the competition kept the both of you from being anything more than friends, but when the both of you committed to UConn without the other knowing, Paige asked you out after the first summer practice and you were sure that you were a goner when she ran into a pole trying to spin a ball on her finger in an attempt to impress you. You grew up together, saw the best and the worst parts that came with dating an athlete, and stuck it through until the end – you even used your COVID eligibility to stay one extra year with her. Whether the universe wanted it or not, the two of you were going to win a natty together, damn it; and win it you did.
Which leads you to where you are now. You’re an expert in Paige Bueckers. There’s not a single thing you don’t know about her, just like there’s not a single thing she doesn’t know about you. That’s why you knew you were doomed when, during the group picture, she exclaimed “We get a parade! And we get to get drunk!” The thing about Paige is that she’s a D1 clinger when she’s plastered. She’s loud and annoyingly charming and honestly, you’re so in love with her that you’re not bothered by it. You’d hold her hair back while she vomited for the rest of your life as long as it meant the two of you were together for it. You just knew she’d be inconsolable and grumpy in the morning when she’s hungover, but after five years of blood, sweat, tears, surgery, rehab, and hardwork, your girlfriend has just won a national championship, so if she wants to get a little plastered and sing at the top of her lungs, then you have no real reason to do anything but ensure she gets back to your room safely.
A few minutes after the conclusion of the net cutting ceremony, you’re taking a few more photos with the trophy in your hands, your hat tucked neatly over your head when Paige comes over. The photographer leaves you two be as Paige reaches for the brim of your hat, turning it backwards to match hers. She’s got that soft, mischievous, slightly wide-eyed look on her face as she looks at you and you can’t help but melt at it. You can tell from her expression that it hasn’t fully set in that she’s won a natty, but you know it’ll hit her later.
“You want something or are you just here to annoy me?” you ask teasingly, handing the trophy off to Ice, who’s taking selfies. You reach out to adjust the net around Paige’s neck as she responds.
“What, I can’t come say hi to my girl?” she goads, the look on her face far too pleased. One of the other things you knew about Paige Bueckers after so many years together was that she loves attention. Specifically, from you, and you can tell that she loves how easily you handed off the trophy to focus fully on her.
“Hello,” you deadpan, which just makes her smirk.
“I ever tell you how proud I am of you?” she asks, shocking you slightly, and heat rises to your cheeks as you try to process the sudden praise.
You blink, rolling your eyes slightly, but the fond smile on your face gives you away. Your girlfriend curls her arm over your shoulders as she leads you through the crowd towards the tunnel. “C’mon, P. I should be saying that to you.”
“Nah,” she disagrees. “You brought us back in the second quarter with those threes.”
You shrug a shoulder, feigning nonchalance. “I did see Coach Staley crashing out when I was getting back on defense.” That makes Paige laugh a little, pulling you flush into her. “I’m serious, though. I’m proud of you, you know?” The two of you slow to a stop once you’re safely away from the cameras and the onlookers, so you turn towards her, resting your hands on her chest and threading your fingers through the net around her neck. “You just…you don’t know how special you are. As a person, a player, a teammate. You’ve been the heart and soul of this team, Paige. You’re here now. And you did it.” You give a teasing tug to the net, watching the affectionate smile spread across her lips, the tears pooling at her waterline again. “You deserve every bit of this.”
“We can be proud of each other,” she suggests. “But I’m definitely prouder than you.”
“You’re full of shit,” you say fondly, patting her cheek. “You’re lucky I love you.”
“I really am,” she agrees, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your lips, one that makes you smile, and one that lasts not nearly long enough because KK walks by and gags dramatically. You raise a middle finger to her as she cackles. Paige laughs against you, too, wrapping her arms around your waist and sinking into your embrace instead. You rub her back, feeling her relax against you, and you kiss her head over the hat.
“I don’t suppose this means you’re gonna behave tonight?” you ask jokingly, already knowing that Party P will be in full effect.
She scoffs like you’ve just said something egregious. “I’m always on my best behavior,” she declares, and all you can truly do is smile and roll your eyes. You know.
The moment Paige finds the ping-pong table, you know it’s wraps.
She’s only a few shots in, but Paige Bueckers is a lightweight. You learned that much when you were both freshmen and you convinced one of the upperclassmen on the team to buy you drinks at Ted’s. Paige was laid out in the bathroom by 10pm and the two of you went home early. You spent the better part of the morning after tending to her hangover, but you’d told her to slow down, so everytime she whined that her head hurt you simply said, “I told you so” (although you felt bad enough for her that you rubbed her back for a few hours until the ache subsided).
Paige is playing one on one with Sarah – mind you, she’s still wearing that fuck ass net, but it’s a little endearing by this point. It reminds you of a little kid who can’t go anywhere without their emotional support blanket. Somehow, you’ve been roped in to being the referee, and as much as you tried to argue that ping-pong didn’t really need a referee, Paige was already inching into that clingy state of being drunk, so she’d just pulled you along and planted a wet, obnoxious kiss to your cheek as she steadied her paddle, unmistakable confidence in her expression.
At first, it’s tame. You watch the ball bounce back and forth between the two of them, still nursing a drink of your own. You alternate between saying Point, Sarah, or Point, Paige. Sarah, in typical Sarah fashion, hardly reacts, although Paige is either crashing out or celebrating every point like it’s another natty win. You weren’t too sure where she got the whole “nonchalant final boss” thing from, but it definitely was not true.
A few rounds later, a small crowd has formed, and she takes a breather to sidle up next to you. She wraps an arm around your waist and leans into you, taking a sip from your drink (much to your amusement), her expression is unbearably blissed out. Paige has a soft look on her face, her eyes a little hooded, but beyond the clear drunkenness, you can see a whole lot of love reflected in her eyes, an appreciation for tonight’s win. “You having fun, baby?” you ask her, a grin on your face.
She hums, tightening her grip, uncaring of the way Ice and KK are laughing at her. Paige pulls back suddenly, concern and slight guilt on her face. “Are you?” she echoes, like it would physically pain her if you weren’t enjoying your night. Knowing her, it probably would.
You laugh a little, rubbing your hand down her back, adjusting the cap on her head because it’s about to fall off from all of the bouncing around she’s done. “I am, don’t worry,” you say honestly.
“Good,” she murmurs, kissing you soundly. Without another word, she extracts herself from your grip and gears up for the next few rounds of ping pong with Sarah. She catches your eye and winks. “This one’s for you, baby,” she promises.
The serve immediately sails out of bounds. You try not to laugh too hard when you say, “Point, Sarah.”
“Shit,” Paige states.
“I think you’re supposed to keep the ball in bounds,” Sarah says helpfully.
“I got distracted,” Paige argues. “Didn’t count. 0-0.”
“It’s 1-0 for Sarah,” you call out, taking your job very seriously. You ignore the pout Paige sends your way, as if a pretty face would make you give up your refereeing integrity. It won’t.
Paige and Sarah take turns hitting the ping pong ball. You stay focused, although Paige’s expression endlessly amuses you. Her brows are furrowed, concentrated as she follows the ball, her movements strangely coordinated and precise for someone who’s a few shots in. Then, Ice announces she’s on live, which distracts Sarah, and Paige scores an easy point on her. Immediately, she launches into a celebration, chanting something that sounds like “Little Rah.” You and Sarah exchange a glance. A smile spreads across your face as you announce, “Foul on Paige. Unsportsmanlike conduct. Point, Sarah.”
Paige spins on her heel immediately. “Bruh, what?” she exclaims. “How was that unsportsmanlike? Since when does ping pong even have foul calls?”
“Careful, Lil Paigey,” Sarah says somberly, although her lips twitch like she’s trying to hold back a smile. “Arguing with the ref can get you a tech. Just ask DT.”
“Bruh,” Paige says again, looking at you pleadingly, like you can take away the egregious foul call you just made on your girlfriend. “Babe, come on. You know this is bull–” you raise a brow at her and she falters, “–crap. Bullcrap.”
You grin when you say, “2-0, Sarah.”
Paige stares at you like you’ve just betrayed her. You can tell she’s not actually upset, but she’s competitive more than anything. She takes a deep breath and reaches for her paddle again.
For the rest of your round, you do your best to throw Paige off her game, ranging from rolling up your sleeve as you pretend to inspect your conveniently flexed bicep or making increasingly more bullshit calls. You award Sarah a point for having a double double in the natty and subtract one point from Paige’s total because she had one turnover (you ignore her when she points out that Sarah had two turnovers, like that’s any of your business).
Finally, you call it at 15-9 in Sarah’s favor because you can tell the drinks are catching up to Paige. It’s already well past midnight and your flight back to Storrs tomorrow morning is early and you know Paige is going to have a rough morning. She pouts when you tell her that you’re taking her back to the room, but she knows it’s for the best so she makes her rounds, hugging everyone in the room and refuses to part with the net when KK reaches for it. Paige tangles your fingers together, not letting a single inch of space separate the two of you as she rambles on about how you and Sarah were most definitely cheating (you were).
When you make it back to the hotel room, you guide Paige into the bathroom, squeezing toothpaste onto her brush and pulling her hair tie out while she cleans her teeth. “I’mma be so sick tomorrow,” she complains, spitting, and scrubbing again as you reach for your toothbrush.
“That’s why you’re gonna take some medicine before you sleep,” you tell her. “And in the morning. And I’ll get you some coffee.”
“You’re the best,” she whispers, rinsing her mouth out. She stands behind you and wraps her arms around your waist, burying her head in your neck. Her breath tickles your skin as she tries to melt into you. She behaves like she’d die if she wasn’t under your skin, but you love your clingy girl just the same. “I’on know what I’d do without you. Like, for real. I wouldn’t be here without you, y’know that?”
“You’d still be here. Just a little less house trained, I think,” you promise her. Paige laughs against your skin, amused, as if she knew that’s what you would say. “But I’m glad you didn’t have to do it alone.” That makes her soften, her hands trailing under your shirt to brush against your skin. “You never have to do it alone as long as I’m here.”
“I know,” she says, kissing your neck tenderly. She squeezes you around your waist, then releases you, her gaze a little sleepy and hazy.
You offer her a grin, reaching for her hand. “Let’s get you to bed, superstar.” She nods and trails behind you. You flick on the lamp as she gets settled into bed. Paige tugs meaningfully at the net around her neck and you laugh, shaking her head. “You’ll choke and die in your sleep,” you deadpan. “I’d really like it if my girlfriend made it through the night.”
Paige juts out her bottom lip, grumbling under her breath as you pull the net off, draping it over the desk chair. You take the hat from her and set it on the nightstand, brushing your fingers through her hair as her eyes slip shut in relaxation. Before she can get too comfortable, you pass her a water bottle and the tylenol, which she takes without complaint.
Once she’s finally settled, you crawl into bed next to her. She wastes no time before wrapping you up, drawing you into her body and tucking her face into the crook of your neck and breathing soundly. You’d thought it would take some time before Paige would realize that she just won a natty, but now, it’s sinking in for you. You’re a national champion. So is your girlfriend. You’ve accomplished the very goal that you came back to UConn to seek out. You’re overcome with this heavy feeling of peace, gratitude, an overwhelming amount of love and admiration for the woman who put the team on her back when she needed to, who took a step back to let her team do their thing when needed to. Most of all, you’re overcome with a feeling of belonging, the feeling that you’re right where you’re supposed to be, wrapped in Paige’s arms like you’re more important to her than the trophy.
You think she’s fallen asleep until she murmurs, still slightly in awe, “We did it.” Her hand tightens around the fabric of your shirt, her voice exhausted and dripping with something that sounds like accomplishment.
Your fingers brush her knuckles, a smile of your own spreading across your face as you agree, “We did.”
You can feel the smile she presses against your skin, the subsequent kiss that follows. “I love you,” she murmurs. “Thank you for doing this with me.”
You don’t think you could be anywhere else. You lift her hand to your lips, kissing her knuckles, and she squeezes you one more time as you whisper, “I love you, too.”
When the two of you wake up that morning, you have her coffee ready and you make sure she takes her medicine to keep the headache away. And when she looks at you hopefully, holding up the net and the hat, you really don’t have it in you to protest.
You place the net around her neck again and you tuck the wisps of her hair under her hat, pressing your lips to hers, and she hugs you tightly with an emotion that feels a hell of a lot like relief. You know she’s relieved for a lot of reasons, but the top reason stems from a deep thankfulness that the both of you were able to win the national championship together, just as you’d spent years dreaming about.
Paige grins at you again, her expression adoring, and you know that what the two of you have is worth a whole lot more than the trophy you’ll be transporting to Storrs.
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I dont know why I wanted to rant about this all of a sudden it can be because it's 3am or maybe it's because I feel a bit sick but. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING BE NICE TO YOUR DOCTORS (except if they are very rude)
I say this because Doctors aren't paid enough to deal with human lives. In hospitals, the mental strain is a lot worse as they might feel responsible for someone dying if they don't work 24/7 (and some work days are like 30 hours). I have been in and out of clinics and hospitals when I was younger (I would like to say around 4-7) because something was always going wrong with my body of that sickness or life-threatening bacterial infection, and dear god, every doctor but my family doc sounded dead so pls engage in some small talk or just talk in gen most docs like getting a small break every now and then and if you feel real bad pls go to a clinic if very bad go to a hospital and for all of the guys that also live in the US some hospitals have donation branches to pay for treatment if you can't pay (do research first there is always some corruption when money is involved)
#mini rant#thank Grammarly that is is readable#but like I was super sick always needed some sort of pill every day#lucky the meds surprised most of the symptoms so I could still you know live a life#but it was not fun#and I cant have yogurt anymore because my mom tried to use some to hid the VERY bad taste of a med#it did not work needed to swap to flavored liquid THAT INSURANCE DID NOT COVER#but at least Im alive
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Don't Panic
The lads men finding you asleep with your child in your arm while you were trying to feed them. You're a first time mom you're not going to be perfect. A/N: This is a mommy mc if you're uncomfortable with the idea of mommy mc this is your warning [Requested by: who-mentioned-rhys-larsen]
Summary: You were a first time mom and motherhood was the hardest hood you’ve ever lived in. Even with your husband doing his fatherly duties you were still exhausted. You checked the time on your watch and noticed it was feeding time. You hoisted your baby into your arms and sat down on the bed to breast-feed. You blinked rapidly trying to keep yourself awake “I’ll nap when you’re done eating” You said more so to yourself rather than the baby when suddenly …. you woke up. When did you doze off? The sun was up last time you checked now it's dark out. Where’s the baby? Oh shit where’s the baby!?
Zayne
Zayne came home to find you curled up with your child who was snoring quietly while you held them snuggly in your arms. He picked your babygirl up careful not to wake you and moved her to the adjoining nursery. She squirmed a little at the loss of warmth, but calmed down once Zayne swaddled her.
A few hours later…
MC: ZAYNE!
Zayne: Darling stop yelling before you wake the baby
MC: Where is she?? I fell asleep while feeding her oh fuck im a terrible mom
Zayne grabs you by the shoulders
Zayne: Breathe my love she’s fine I put her in her bed
MC: *teary-eyed* did I hurt her?
You dropped your gaze feeling your heart shatter at the thought of hurting your child
Zayne: You had her held safely in your arms she’s fine go look
You rushed to the nursery to find your babygirl in a peaceful slumber. A wave of relief washed through you causing you to fall to your knees.
MC: I won't let that happen again
Zayne: Go get some sleep my love you’ve earned it I'll take care of the baby
MC: but-
Zayne: You’ll be no good sleep-deprived go rest
Rafayel
MC: WHERE ARE THEY?
You rush out into the living room after tearing your room apart looking for your babies
Rafayel: Quiet down. Why are you yelling?
MC: I CANT FIND THE TWINS
Rafayel: You lost our kids?
MC: I-I accidentally fell asleep and and and when I woke up they were gone I-I-I omg im the worst mom alive
Rafayel: Are these two not ours?
You walk around the couch to find them each fast asleep, one laying in his lap and the other sprawled out next to him on a blanket.
MC: I should punch you in the jaw fuck I think I just had a heart attack thats not funny
Rafayel: I found you asleep in the bedroom with your titty out
MC: Well thats embarrassing
Rafayel: It was a nice surprise … This baby shark was trying to climb on you when I came in
Rafayel said pointing to your baby boy who was drooling all over his lap
Rafayel: and this little sea snail was curled up next to you
Rafayel placed his hand on the tummy of your babygirl
MC: I’m glad they're safe
You sighed, relieved that your babies were fine
Rafayel: You should probably go do that pumping thing you always do …. you’re leaking
MC: Shit!
Rafayel: My little leaky faucet
MC: Please put your top and bottom lip together

Xavier
You sat up quickly almost head butting Xavier who was standing over you
Xavier: Whoa you should change your shirt you have spit up on this one
MC: Where's the baby!?
Xavier: I just put him in his crib
MC: Is he okay? I didn’t roll over on him did I? Was he breathing?
Xavier: Yes. No. and Yes.
Xavier began removing your shirt
MC: Wait wait I need to see our son
Xavier: Okay but lets change your shirt first
MC: No—I need—-Xav move
You end up wrestling Xavier who’s just trying to get you out of your soiled shirt. He manages to slip it off and you dart out of the room with no shirt. You quietly make your way in the nursery and see your baby boy sleeping soundly. Man he looks so much like his dad it’s crazy.
Xavier: Here. *pulls a shirt over your head*
MC: Thanks Xav Im sorry I was just so scared
Xavier: I understand ... now according to Jenna since the baby is down you should get some rest too let’s go
MC: Are you going to nap with me?
Xavier: Jeremiah was in the living room when you ran through to get to our son
MC: Did he see.....?
Xavier: He won't remember even if he did
MC: JEREMIAH IM SORRY
Sylus
MC: WHERE IS SHE??
Kieran: Calm down
Luke: You’ll wa—
MC: DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN
Sylus: She’s right here
You turn to see Sylus holding your baby girl in his arms. She's playfully tugging on his necklace while he continuously moves her little hand away.
MC: Mommy is so sorry baby …. did I hurt her? I didn’t mean to fall asleep
Sylus: You’re going to make yourself sick with all this worrying
MC: I just fell asleep with our child in my arms that seems like grounds to worry Sylus
Sylus: She was fast asleep on your chest and you had your arm wrapped around her
MC: It’s still dangerous
Sylus: and yet she’s fine live and learn sweetie everything will be fine
MC: It’s like my third day out here okay im still learning this mom shit
Sylus: Rule number 1 don’t cuss in front of the baby
MC: Oh shut up
Sylus: Rule number 2 don’t be rude to her dad
MC: Anything else?
Sylus: Rule number 3 dont forget to pump
You look down and realize you have two wet patches on your shirt
MC: Shit!
Sylus: Rule number 1—
MC: Shut it!
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads rafayel#lads xavier#lads zayne#lnds#lnds zayne#lnds xavier#lnds rafayel#lads sylus#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#nikaaaaimagine
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landlocked
siren! rafayel x female reader
cw ▻ 18+, noncon, nsfw, smut, yandere and unhealthy behaviors, monster(?) on human, merman rafayel, minor violence, dark content beware
wc ▻ 11k, longform oneshot, buckle up
an ▻ HAPPY BIRTDAY RAF 🐬🐳🩵🎉🎂 i busted my ass on this one and its a day late but here we are :,) please heed the tags and do enjoy raf girlies :] eee his characterization is quite tricky but im getting there </3 (also please do forgive typos 🥲)
𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔, 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔, + 𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 ♡

Waves crash against the rocks.
Sea salt shoots up and stings your cornea, your knuckles going white around the wooden ledge they grip onto for dear life. And to be perfectly accurate, that is what this is- life or death- something you’re not entirely certain you’ll make it to the other end of. With a frantic prayer, you plant your heels under the thwarts and try to find balance as the little canoe rocks violently.
Froth builds up around it; towering waves cresting over and leaving behind liquid dust, the air thick with it like a mist.
You squint your eyes to blot out the pelting rain; keeping them open for too long is a near impossible task anyway, what with the burn.
This was stupid, you know that. Whether or not it was a wise decision was never the question in your head.
No, the only one present- overarching all other thought, making it physically impossible to function in your day to day life- was if your fiancé was still alive. Or if what all the townsfolk gossiped about in whispering peels during brushes with them on the cobbled path was true—
If the waves got to him. If he was really lost at sea.
Stupid or naive or plain crazy (as one onlooker labeled you without so much as a care to just how worn-out this whole ordeal’s made you)- you don’t care. Truthfully, you think you’re a little beyond the point of it, of self doubt or second guessing.
The only room left is for action: the strong men at the tavern and the local fisherman you clumsily rallied together were helpful in some ways, but their help only lasted so long until exasperation kicked in and they called it quits.
The choice to do something is yours and only yours.
Look, girl. We combed the port front to back. Turned over the barrels and crates and all, found nothin’. And we’ve been hauling out them nets for weeks now— wouldn’t you be surprised-? nothin’ there, either. Your fiancé's gone. I’m sorry, but—
You didn’t stay to hear the rest, embittered by it.
They’d done you a kindness, carving time out of their strict schedules and afternoon, beer-induced naps. And you’ll always be thankful for that, that despite knowing deep in their hearts that you were a lost cause, they stepped up to bat regardless, but—
There’s no returning home for you. Wiping your brow of its sweat then throwing a towel over your shoulder, heading in for the night.
The spot beside you in bed is eerily empty and cold; you wake from nightmares in sheer darkness and swat a hand to feel him but you’re met with wrinkled sheets and a silence that sneers. Without him, this place is empty.
The town is beautiful- small- but beautiful- with its glittering fairy lights strung from shop to shop, worn paths branching off into pebbled ones that lead to the shore and the peer, the more developed side of it farther down the sand— and it used to feel comforting. Like home.
Now, there’s no lantern aglow on the porch banister to point you in the direction of home. You’re aimless and sad. Like a ship without a sail.
The first week afterward (the news that his crew never returned from their trip), you hid away in your room crying all day, the better part of you half expecting his footfalls to echo down the hall. Though, they never did. It’s fine, you’d reasoned with eyes clamped shut, splayed over his half of the mattress, he’ll be back tomorrow.
Tomorrow came. It went, too.
And he—
He’s still gone—
Worried neighbors flitted by and left steaming pastries by the door. You hardly had an appetite for them, though, delightful as they were sat outside your cracked window, the smell of pecan pie drifting under billowing, sheer curtains.
It’s encroaching on around a month now. A month of loneliness and denial and the cruel, pitying stares the locals level you in the times you seldom leave home.
Your fiancé's absence, as unexpected as it was devastating, has stretched on long enough to kindle a sort of determination in you. You pile your bones off the bed and set out for the shore with a small, leather bag at your waist and sandals that hang off your feet, nervous but hellbent.
That bag, now: floating off in the distance, whisked away by whirling winds and swallowed up by the sea. One valiant flipflop remains hanging off your big toe, but you question, albeit with little concern for it, for just how much longer it will last.
Your fingers shake as they peel hair from your temple. You can’t see, can’t see anything— the boat shakes and croaks as the bottom steadily fills, and you have the dreadful realization that you are slowly sinking and cannot stop it.
Through bleared eyes, you watch several, ringlet-like waves form on the horizon and disappear behind rolling, closer ones. You brace endlessly for impact, but another wave bulges and effortlessly lifts your canoe- a temporary respite from the others that come crashing over.
When it lets you down, you quickly squint to see what’s coming for you next and immediately pale.
It’s massive. Dark, cobalt, scraping the underbelly of the black sky. Another tall wave (but a small fish in comparison) interlopes into it and is swallowed within a blink. It only worsens it, feeds it.
You have no chance. None at all. It’s over. It’s over and despite it all- the pointed meddling of your neighbors and all the chatter meant to maim the stubborn belief you held that your to-be husband was still alive- a small hope flares to life in your chest.
It says maybe dying here wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe, if all of them were right after all, you’d be able to see him again.
As that unbeatable wave draws nigh, seemingly moving at a snail’s pace- casual in its approach but so terrifyingly powerful- it droops at the top and paints you in an opaque shadow.
You can’t see, can’t hear. The deafening roar of thunder and the foamy tide clapping against itself is tuned out. Your eyes see nothing but darting smears of lightning and the hurt of heartbreak and sea salt.
It’s happening. It’s over.
You give your fingers one last twitch to remind yourself that, for the moment, remarkably, you’re still alive. They feel fat with the cold, hardly budging.
Your last flip flop gusts over your shoulder and your ribcage rattles with a chill.
Your teeth chatter out one final prayer and perhaps a choked sob- although you can’t tell if it’s the brine gathering at your feet, rising with a gurgle- And you watch with wide, teary eyes as that tsunami finally descends—
A flash of color, indigo and bright, bobs above the slanted tide.
‘You. You shouldn’t be out here.’
Your eyes widen. Milliseconds before the boat is hit, a slosh from the side tips it and you’re catapulted into the open water.
It feels like an open flame.
Arctic temperatures freeze you to the bone. You’re reminded of hellfire as the cold licks away at your skin, limbs warping around you in violent currents.
You let out a scream of despair and watch as it turns to suds.
You know it was stupid, you know it was stupid, you know it was stupid— But you were hurting. And that life back at town- now devoid of the man you thought to be your veritable soulmate, who you were convinced you’d spend your final breaths with- is not the one you want to continue on with.
(But… you don’t wanna die.)
You dig to the surface with a sputter.
You manage to keep yourself afloat for all of two seconds before the ocean— or something that feels oddly like a fist— latches onto your ankle and pulls.
Consciousness is a slightly longer affair… but that, too, fades.
Teal blips across your spasming eyes. A vivid, long tail flicks along your arm, almost curiously, before curling behind you and disappearing.
Bubbles erupt from your jaw and shoot up, up, up.
Maybe, you think vaguely as the world blackens, quietens, you’ll find your missing fiancé lying at the seabed. The thought, surprisingly, isn’t as comforting as it is disturbing, but you suppose a reunion only in death would be better than none at all.
‘Silly human. Don’t worry, I got you.’
⊹⊹⊹
A voice breaks the quiet of night. Dulcet, lamenting.
The ocean whirs in his ears endlessly, his tail gliding below him in a dull swish. A school of fish passes by, and then another. A curious, blue one swims at his side and he biffs it dismissively.
“Not now, fishie.”
Rafayel isn’t concerned about the life swirling around him in colorful dots of assorted sizes, floating above the seabed, no- that’s all ubiquituous to him. It’s that song— that smooth sound drifting like a dirge from somewhere on the surface— that stirs something deep in his chest.
It was like that last night, too, and then a few nights before.
After over two decades of swimming in unbroken boredom- with each day bringing about the expectation of nothing more than waking up to see another- the siren feels a shift.
Something is breaking the monotony.
An excitement, existing deep in his chest but incipient, is invoked within him like an ancient god brought to wakefulness. Rafayel feels his bones rouse with the phantom aches of a slumber he never fell into- but the feeling is all the same. He rubs the disbelief from his eyes and pushes aside waving reeds before rocketing upwards.
When the waves kiss the morning foam,
From beneath the surface, the crescent moon is lopsided and shakes as Rafayel gets closer to breaching it.
The dainty shadow of a hand cuts in front of the white orb, as if wanting to capture it, before falling back to her side.
A gentle splash.
From up here, he can hear the things of land- the crickets and cicadas of summertime- purr from afar. That’s not what he came here for, though, what’s been stringing him in from the depths like fish in a trawl or moth to a flame.
And still, in the span of the last week, Rafayel has yet to get her name... (Something that definitely has to be remedied sooner or later, he quietly decides- despite the other half of him still holding onto the pride of coasting solo, the embarrassment at being led off by a mere voice. A land creature’s, at that.)
He latches onto the long, thick leg of the peer and props himself just under the overhang of it, laying his nose flat in the water but opening his eyes above it. It’s amplified now, that pretty noise, and the only thing separating the two- him and the human- is the planks of wood overhead.
Her feet rest on it. He hears her sandals squelch before she toes them off, sits down, and loops her legs over the edge.
Rafayel, with fluttering lashes and an interest so unexpected but strong it’s paralyzing- watches her heels make ripples just beside him, his heart thumping wildly. It could be out of the thrill of doing something this unusual, or the silent anticipation of maybe getting caught (although, he doubts he will, for the main reason that his kin don’t lack in cunning).
Maybe it’s just out of delight- the fibers of his being tingling with invisible sparks of… something. It makes him feel a little clumsy, innocent and fumbling like when he was a young merfolk just learning how to evade a rip current.
Similarly, she pulls him under. Drags him far out. Her voice is the tide and he’s all too willing to drown.
It’s… certainly not the first time he’s seen them- human legs- and he’ll be the first to admit that he wasn’t so sure about them initially- but he thinks he likes hers the best. It’s starting to grow on him, but just a little.
She’s soft. Smooth. At least, that’s how she appears- though he can’t say for certain because he’s never tested that theory, yet.
He’s extra careful to keep his hands to himself, intrigued as he is, lest his nails pierce through and break her. It’s a more common notion underwater, shared between much of the fishfolk, that humans are meant to be broken. Pieced apart in hungry hands or brought to the depths for a more extended, decadent death.
To be fair, he’s not a firm denier of that...
But this human, this girl who’s collided into his infinitely bleak life with all the grace of a ship wrecked hours off from shore, and whatever the hell she’s singing about— Rafayel’s not quite stupid enough to break her, no… He’s not quite willing to, either.
When the scent of roses pierces the lungs, The fish stranded at your fingertips…
For the rest of the moonlit evening, Rafayel floats beneath the peer at her (unwitting) side and listens to her languishing until she stands to her feet and retreats down the beach, disappearing into a cluster of warm, tiny lights in the distance.
Blood,
Blood,
Blood covers the sea.
Rafayel, with an inexplicable pang of sorrow- unable to fight the influence of her songs- can’t help but wonder what has made the girl so sad.
It’s not in their baser nature, the sirens, to commiserate, least of all with the humans. It’s a weakness, to cry, an open wound that his kind is all too susceptible to deepening- so they avoid it entirely. Call it preservation. But for as much as Rafayel loves the ocean- and yes, to an extent, his people- he was never all that interested in their society, and if showing a little bit of heart for the landfolk means escaping the bland shadows of the sea, then maybe right now is a good time to start.
…Before she swims away, anyway.
⊹⊹⊹
Silence sours the balmy air of your home, but you swear you hear something singing to you.
It was real.
It had to be, what happened just a number of days ago.
When you’d been retrieved from a bed of seaweed on the shore with little memory of what happened, you had retained just enough to know that something was… off.
That something having to do with the violent storm at sea and your lack of succumbing to it- the darting shadow that appeared by the boat and was there when you went under— wasn’t adding up.
You… shouldn’t be alive.
That thought was present even in the thick mist of early morning as boats began unmooring from the docks— stark epiphany, realer than the concerned hands of the fishermen as they helped you into town, your legs hardly capable of carrying you there on their own. Much less your frazzled mind; you didn’t quite miss the way they’d stared at you during the trek off shore, throwing frantic looks over your shoulder even as the sand gave to the reedy path leading into the village.
The rolling waves got flatter as you drew off from it, but something in you- like some inexplicable base instinct- was telling you to run. Away or back to it, you don’t know, but you feel the frigidity of the sea still in your chest, lapping away at your sanity as days pass.
The burn is surreal. Nothing makes sense.
You should be dead- scraping there at the bottom of the sea, drifting with your supposedly dead fiancé in a place where the light doesn’t dare reach—
But you’re not.
The earth feels shapeless beneath your feet. A perpetual dizziness in your skull that makes you feel like you’re swaying on a dock- but your toes are planted in dry land.
You’re alive. The scale tipped against you but it didn’t matter. The sea spat you out, didn’t want you.
Surprisingly, you take the whole ordeal in stride. The first days after being plucked from the shore are rocky and dreamy, but you find your footing and with it comes an unexpected hope.
If you survived, your fiancé must’ve as well. He’d always been the stronger of you two, anyway, more stout and determined.
The waves did not drag him under. Couldn’t have.
The canoe you took out to sea is gone, not to your surprise. It was more or less reduced to splinters. But you wonder if it was even real to begin with, if the canoe ever existed that day when you unroped it from its notch and embarked on the perilous journey. Down to the very point where you pattered off your porch steps and made the choice to look for your fiancé yourself- the whole sequence of events is wrapped in a forgetful fog.
But deep down, despite the whispers of doubt surrounding you and your own mental haze, you know it happened. All of it.
It was real, and something
Is singing to you—
(Wet hands descend the span of your belly. Sand feels like gravel beneath you, soaked and cold beneath a yellowed moon as night fades. Reverent, curious. Long nails carefully unravel algae from your fingers and thighs. The debris is tossed away, thrown down the shore without thought.
-…. in good shape, cutie. Is there anyone on land who’d sing for you if you disappeared? A gentle laugh- but even in your state of unconsciousness, you pick up on the note of disdain there. I guess if there was, you wouldn’t turn to the sea so much.)
Hands. Curious hands kneading into you like wet clay on a spinning wheel. Reshaping. Admiring. There’s painterly intent in every touch, every brush. Something between the cove of your legs gives a wanting throb and your tongue feels like cotton. Fire licks from your belly to your brain and makes it benumbed, pleasantly heavy as the gentle, rhythmic lull of the tide cools the tips of your toes.
Salt burns your throat.
You wake with it sore.
Rubbing it groggily, you come to before dawn fully does, the horizon flickering with a diluted, white-orange beneath a starry sky.
It gets to be too much. The emptiness of your bed, the suffocating drivel of the townsfolk and the lack of certainty in what happened to you.
Dubbed crazy or not by all around you, you’re past the point of caring. You have to leave. Worried neighbors advised you against it, adamant that you ward off on visiting the peer at least until your mind fog lessened; preferably, you’d wait an extra few months so the wound of heartbreak would seal over, but it seems they know better than to ask that of you.
He’s still out there, your to-be husband. He’s got to be.
You think something else might be, too. The thing that saved you. Although, the reasons it has for doing so are beyond you.
Go back, a lilting voice sings somewhere in the back of your head, a dull throb like a separate, beating heart. It thumps in your skull and sends a thrill through you. It speaks in urgency, like it’s warning you not to disobey— but all the sharpness of it is masked in dulcet chords.
Go back, back to the sea.
Crazy or not, you think it’s calling for you.
The lyrics lead you to the front door. Maybe you ought to think this over more, sleep on it (God knows you’re failing at that seemingly simple task). But something is driving you, picking up and physically moving your limbs for you as if your settings have been switched to autopilot.
You shrug on a thin cardigan to stave off the crisp air of early morning, not bothering to lock your door behind you.
A weird, eerie voice in your subconscious- hardly sounding like yours- says you won’t be coming back anyway.
Thankfully, you have half the mind to shoo it away and steel your nerves. Of course you’ll be coming back home. You’ll find your errant fiancé and burst through the little blue-painted door with celebration. All the village will cough up their sheepish apologies for the things they’d said- the faithless assumptions they made- and raise a mug to his return.
The key to finding him is finding that other thing, first. The thing with a watery fist and roaming nails, the glinting coral-red eyes that blurred beneath coiling waves and the tail that you’re sure swam you back to safety.
The locals can say all they want about you: The ruddy, fading ring of scratches wrapping around the bone of your ankle—
That’s all the proof you need to spur you onward.
Onward is the ocean.
⊹⊹⊹
Water gushes against the rocks at the seaside.
Dark and slate-grey, they dry up under the sun immediately. Seagulls caw overhead. The sand is warm- not cool as it was in your last visit- near scalding as you head towards the shore.
You hiss and don’t make it halfway until you start leaping, bare feet burning. You hurry into the water, standing only ankle-deep, and mentally scold yourself for forgoing shoes— but to your defense, your sandals had been lost to the abyss that was the sea just barely seven days ago.
The horizon is blinding. Sunlight bounces off the plane of the sea and glistens, just as bedazzled as a wealthy woman’s neck. It’s a far cry from what it was last week- all whorling ridges and roaring waters- and for that you’re thankful.
That storm, and being launched into the hellish currents of it, will remain in your dreams for a long time coming.
Even now, just looking at it from far out takes your breath a little.
It’s horrifying. It’s… beautiful.
…And it’s singing to you—
“I know you’re there,” you whisper.
Your voice is just a breath at first, hushed as you toss a squirrely look down the beach- where the fishermen drudge around as little specks- and straighten your spine.
You’re alone here, though. You’re allowed to be as crazy as you want.
You speak louder, forcing down the lump of embarrassment in your throat that says your voice is falling on deaf ears. And you know the ocean doesn’t have ears, or eyes; it hardly had the heart to spit you back out of it.
But that thing that snatched you into its arms and left you boneless on the sand does.
With hands bunched, shaking, you declare, “I know, you’re there.”
Nothing.
A short whitecap curls over the tips of your toes and stretches a few feet behind you before receding.
It melds seamlessly into the blue.
Nothing, and then-
Yards off, a colorful blur warbles. As it swims closer, you hold your ground, squint to assure it’s not a sea turtle or other creature (albeit, no typical marine animal is that shape or size), and let out a little gasp. Its head pops above the surface gracefully, and it’s full of hair, a vibrant shade of indigo that strikes a familiar chord in you instantly.
“It’s you,” you startle, almost out of breath. The fingers clutched tightly at your sides unfurl. Your heart picks up its speed, an abrupt surge of emotions- shock, relief, and confusion- leaving no different an effect than a stungun would.
“You’re real, I- I knew it—!”
“Shhh,” is his first word, coral-blue eyes narrowing with apathy as he palms himself closer, about knee-deep in the water now. And yet you step away, applying some distance as you stagger because for whatever reason, the knowledge that his creature- or fish-man- saved you doesn’t take the cake when it comes to self-preservation.
You don’t even have a name to put to his face (or tail), and up until now, you were certain mermaids and unicorns and fairies only existed between the pages of whimsical books or the imaginations of children.
Right then, you think, they also existed in the sage warnings of the Greeks before they sailed off to sea.
The quiet epiphany plays with your nerves.
“You don’t have to be so loud, you know. I can hear you just fine, thanks.”
Ear-length, wavy hair bobs with the movement as he tilts his head. You can’t help but feel estranged from the idea of caution, though, as he drifts a bit closer and gives you a petulant pout.
He gets as close as the sandbar will allow before pausing, broad shoulders jutting above the ripples.
And he’s childish still, the picture of harmlessness as he looks up at you, squinting in the sun, and murmurs, “buuuut, I admire your enthusiasm, cutie... Were you looking forward to our reunion that bad?”
You blink, lashes fluttering. A breath you’d been holding finally escapes you, a whit of that unease ebbing out just like the cool tide underfoot.
You’re… hardly a sailor, anyway. You’ve no ship to be wrecked; no, the man that served as the anchoring element in your life is missing. The boat in your life has gone AWOL. With it your warmth and love. It’s why you’ve even come out here in the first place, the flights of fancy belonging to a grieving woman or not.
The reminder of your lost fiancé steels you.
You lift a shaky hand to use as a visor against the sun, blotting it out so you can peruse the man-fish without obstruction.
“You saved me,” is all you really know to say. You’d had all sorts of lofty plans coming back out here, but you’d never fully considered what you’d do if your new friend (he is a friend, right?) did show.
He lets out an amused, dry sound. The ghost of a smile curls at his pink lips, though. He can’t quite hide that one from you.
“I did. Have you come to show me your gratitude?” He lowers his gaze then, glancing at your shins momentarily before peering behind you, at the grassland stopped just after the shore and right before the village.
He grumbles, “Or will humans with pitchforks show up any minute, intent on slaughtering me and my kind?”
For some reason, the most you take from that statement is the very end of it, quickly saying, “T-There’s more of you?”
He looks up at you. Makes a scoffing sound but it only holds half its bite.
“Well, of course there is. Silly girl,” he comments, that little grin returning with a vengeance as behind him, something teal shoots up from the water and pelts a small flurry of droplets your way. You close your eyes and turn, the gentle sound of his laughs ringing out.
When you look back at him, a long tail- gorgeous and as pigmented as turquoise paint- flicks under the sun and glitters no different than rhinestones.
“It was only me that was generous enough to save you, though. That’s the most important part.”
⊹⊹⊹
Trust is a big word, it is.
But there is no doubt in your mind that you would’ve succumbed to a watery death if not for the merman- Rafayel, he’d informed with a coy flap of his tail- intervening, and you’re grateful to him for that. His saving you— it means something. And you owe him.
You head for the shore each morning with a silent debt hanging over your head, but he never demands anything of you in return. During lazy afternoons by the cove trading pretty, swirled shells and at first tentatively getting in the water with him to swim at nightfall, you wait for the catch to come, for him to name his price.
You think it’s only fair. Rescuing something as valuable as a life is nothing to scoff at: you’d cough up the change.
He never holds out his hand.
If anything, Rafayel seems wholly uninterested in that.
You’re not entirely sure why you formulated your ideas of merfolk around blood-thirst and thievery (perhaps because of the myths), but the one you’re befriending is nothing like that. He’s playful and sassy and a little bit flirtatious but you suppose- if the legends of sirens luring sailors to the depths are really true- then it adds up. It’s only natural he’d be a whit on the provocative side, right?
Rafayel is friendly, clingy even when you convince him that you have no intentions of alerting the village any time soon of his presence. You tell him with a wry laugh that they’d hardly believe you anyway because everyone thinks you’ve lost it.
You see it in his pleasant face- the blip of interest that passes by- that he wants to ask why, but he holds off on it when you pour him with questions about what goes on in the deep blue and if his kind really eats fishermen.
He huffs, propping his elbow on the half-submerged rock he’d helped you onto, still in sight of the shore but more intimate a setting.
“What kind of question is that? Do you really think I could do something like that? Look at me,” he balloons out his cheeks and puffs. “I’m an innocent little fishie.”
You laugh, and drop the interrogation in favor of a more lighthearted one. You ask Rafayel what life off land is like.
With a mischevious twinkle in his marbled, red-blue eye, he tells you about what lurks in ocean trenches first, painting vivid imagery in your head of glowing bulbs in the dark and rows of jagged teeth that peer out of deep crevices.
You blanche and he can’t help but chuckle softly, a dash of something in his gaze that resembles ardor as it flits appreciatively along the curve of your face.
It’s not all horrifying, though, he eventually concedes.
He scoops shiny things up from the sand lining the ocean floor and gifts them to you in your following meetings. He tells you that the fish- sleek and chromatic- dance around him in schools where everything is crystalline. They sleep on beds of coral under-tail and stick close to the fins of whales, apparently having nothing better to do. Sometimes they get a little clingy, he admits, and he has to shoo them away, but the little creatures are friendly- and his underwater world is nothing short of beautiful.
Rafayel loves the sea. It’s his home.
“And what about you, cutie? What’s your home like?”
That gives you pause, but just for a moment.
You know what home is like; you’d only dwelled there, in the tiny village off the shoal, since you were a little girl.
And home is nice…. Or, it was. Now, it’s a husk of the warmth you once knew. Days drag by in drab monotony and the added, very much unwanted reminder that your fiancé has yet to return. Seagulls squawk outside and tricycle bells ring. Concerned neighbors knock on your door but this place feels dull. No more face to put to this snuggly seaside village.
With a small smile- one that Rafayal thinks is more wistfully sad than anything- you tell the merman about the things you cherish here, deliberately omitting what you desperately miss.
Memories of childhood circle back to you in fuzzy fragments: Despite the present, you can still at least cherish the past, right…?
Listening to you recount gems of your youth with a smile, it’s evident to Rafayel that you love it here.
Just… he understands that maybe it’s not as much as you used to.
His face takes on more of a sober look then, his cheeks, dappled with teal scales that break the surface in some spots, dusting a soft pink. You don’t really understand why- perhaps a mild case of sun burn- but he asks,
“And what about in it? Is there… Someone who’s special to you, who brings it warmth? Even underwater, in order to survive, we merfolk need a suitable temperature, you know.”
Ah. That.
You offer a hum of acknowledgment before glancing off, far out to where the flat whitecaps stretch into nothingness. Lounging around by the coast with your new, unlikely friend, the scenery is idyllic here.
You almost will yourself into forgetting what you’re really here for, what hurled you face-first into this predicament.
Sorrow hangs in your heart. The visage of your fiancé passes in your head rapidly, kaleidoscopic, his smiles and the tender moments spent with him, the sound of his laugh.
You are less and less certain of yourself. You are not sure if the gossipping townsfolk are correct or not to assume the worst, but what you do know is that it’s creeping up on two months and not one shiphand has returned. Not even an errant oar has washed ashore.
“Yes. But…” A pause. You swallow thickly and give your head a belated, uncertain shake. Tears form in the back of your throat and you pile them down, frustrated they’d showed up uninvited.
Perhaps you’re more weak to all the bleak murmurs than you’ve let on.
You laugh, but the sound lacks humor. “Everyone thinks he’s dead, all the people at the village.”
“…You wanna share?”
You shrug and draw one knee to your chest, the other still bent over the rocky ledge, dangling in the cool water. They’re still today, the waters, relatively level— but inwardly, you warn yourself against being so easily deceived by them: they looked more or less the same the day you rowed out.
The storm was nothing short of terrifying, yes, but you think the lack of expecting it somehow made it more devastating.
“Well, there’s not much to,” you respond, tongue in cheek. You don’t mean to sound uninterested in this conversation all of a sudden, but you suppose it’s a defense mechanism. Rafayel props his elbows on the rock and listens intently, giving his brow a little quirk at your tone.
“But my… fiancé,” why the words are suddenly hard to get out, you don’t know, “he went off to sea. Hasn’t come back yet.”
At your knees, Rafayel is noticeably quiet, but you get the inexplicable sense that he’s invested.
“I guess he’ll come back with lots of fish whenever he does,” you sigh. Your attempts to remain lighthearted just barely working.
Quickly, you try to breeze past the topic, but the merman chimes- “A fisherman? You were courting a fisherman?”
Courting. The word sounds a little funny, medieval almost, but you hum.
It’s his turn to make a tongue-in-cheek comment, lifting his scaly fist to support his chin. “He must’ve been a real prize to deserve all that singing... What do I get for saving you?” He says playfully, almost pettily, but you get the weird idea that this is more serious to him than he lets on.
You want to heave a laugh at his pouting words, but confusion stops you. You snap your head to him.
“You-?”
Quickly, Rafayel quips, “Yes, just about the whole sea can hear you at night. Why is that surprising?”
For some reason, a whit of hope warms your chest throughout. If Rafayel is cognizant of something as trivial as songs from above the surface, surely he must’ve been privy to a shipwreck or the hurried shouts of sailors as their boat went down.
Not that you believe it did, just—
You scramble upright, planting your palms on the rock in a kneel as you say- in a voice you’re not keen on sounding as desperate as it comes out-
“Have you ever heard anything else? A- A boat sinking? People drowning or- or—“ You stuff out an anxious breath, all the worries and doubts you’d been housing for weeks now bubbling to the surface. You suppose if anybody has garnered your confidence, though, it’s the merman that saved your veritable life.
Still, a lump of unease burns in your throat. Thick and acidic. It makes your voice shake but you ignore it, leaning over the edge. If you fall in, he’ll save you again anyway. If not a friendship (but you definitely treat it as such), there is still a mutual fondness between you two- a silent trust- and you’re sure, beside the marks on your ankle he left by accident in the heat of the moment, he would not let harm befall you.
“Because they say he’s gone— my lover— they say his crew got hit by something- like a plague or a storm- and succumbed out there. But maybe- maybe you heard something? Rafayel- did you hear or see any group of fishermen out there?” You bluster, before adding on like an afterthought, “two months ago?”
The longer your mouth moves, the wider Rafayel’s eyes get.
And then, you think it’s something like… recognition that skips across multihued eyes.
He’s quiet for a moment, mouth ajar. His bright turquoise tail, the tip jutting out from the tide as it sways idly, stops midway in the air and floats awkwardly.
Your brow furrows. You fear the worst. Your nails dig into the gritty surface, fingerpads whiting as you shake your head.
“Rafayel-? W-What’s wrong?”
Curtly, he shuts his mouth. An easy smile replaces his momentary surprise.
When he speaks, it’s in a familiar, somewhat sarcastic but harmless tone, and his tail sparks to life behind him, albeit quite unsteadily.
“Nothin’, cutie,” he lifts an arm to adjust his perch on the rock but it slips. His face dusts pink, his brows twitching together; all of it, the clearly disturbed signs of his composure, he ignores. Your heart thrums.
“I was just thinking how brave you were to venture off to sea after him. He’s lucky to have someone like you still waiting at home for him.” His compliment is overlooked. You’re too caught up in the rush of unease that sweeps through you- the niggling feeling that says there’s something more to this you’re not seeing- that you can hardly utter a bashful thanks.
“But- did you happen to hear anything, or-?”
Rafayel adds casually, “I’m sure the guy is fine wherever he is, though. And no, cutie. But I’ll let you know if that changes.”
Something like hesitance grips you as you watch, with silence, the friendly merman lose the better part of his mirth. You wonder if you’ve said something wrong as his exterior hardens cooly, if you’ve divulged too much of your emotions and quite possibly lost your final companion. Maybe you’re overthinking it- but if that’s the case, if even a fish-man from the sea has taken the same opinion as the land-living locals, then some drama seems warranted.
You don’t want to be alone again. And Rafayel- Rafayel was starting to really grow on you despite all your differences—
He strums his fingers against his jaw, painting the picture of boredom, and puffs out his lips, eyes drifting away almost flippantly as if he’s dead to the wounded look you send him.
A yawn. He unfolds his lean arms and ducks under the water.
“Wait- Rafayel-?”
“Sorry, princess, the fishies are calling me. They said it’s getting late now, and that I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“But—“
“Hop on my back, let me take you back to shore. Your little legs can only doggy paddle you so far,” he lets out a light laugh but you don’t miss the dash of mockery there, as if you’re some unfortunate soul cursed with four limbs and warm blood. Still, you bite your tongue- and the unbidden pang of unease in your chest- and slip off the rock.
You loop your arms around his middle, his muscles flexing in response, lean and tight, and keep your chin above the tide as he floats towards the sand bar.
“Rafayel, are you okay?”
“Of course, cutie. Why, aren’t you?”
“Y-Yeah. It’s just-“ you poorly stifle a sigh, still a bit taken aback by his sudden desire to truncate your meeting. That, and his odd behavior when you asked about any possible shipwreck.
You eventually settle on, “Please just keep it on your radar. If you hear or see any ships, call me, okay?”
“We don’t have shellphones under the water, you know. How am I supposed to alert you?” You can’t see the face he’s making, saddled on his back as his long tail gusts through the gentle currents, but you realize he’s teasing.
“I- I don’t know,” you admit clumsily. “Maybe I’ll just know if you say my name.”
I mean, it’s not too crazy an idea, is it? You felt a stirring towards the ocean- real and audible- would a creature living in it really be so different?
Perhaps the townsfolk are right in their claims made against you, that you’ve lost it.
There’s nothing left in you that cares, though.
Rafayel lets out a small chuckle but sounds oddly endeared. “How romantic.”
“Rafayel—“
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll let you know if anything’s up. Don’t worry!”
⊹⊹⊹
From the shipdeck, the water is beautiful, even as it takes you down under, swallowing up the thick hull in a lazy gulp.
A white moon pours down. The waves sparkle like sequins. It’s… hypnotizing, in a way. Your fist flies to your collar when the sails tear, the harsh rip of it reminding you of the breath still in your lungs, and you hold the locket there like it’s a lifering.
The crewhands scramble for them- and for the tiny boat hanging off the side. Another powerful slosh to the boat sends slippery hands in a fray; you hear the vague sound of wood cracking, planks you thought to be sturdy splintering. You’re no more than a raft drifting, victim to the elements.
The emergency lifeboat whistles as it drops, freefalling from the ropes and into the coiling sea.
It has no heart for mercy, the sea, but you’ve still one for home, a deep-seated urge within to return that has your nails digging bluntly into your palms, blood drawing in the paths of them.
…H-Home.
Sailors scream around you.
Someone, you realize with a flash of confusion, in the chaos- in the maelstrom of wind and shooting rain- is even singing.
The sound of it chills you to the bone.
Dazedly, you think they must’ve lost it. To be fair, there’s no blame there— men have drowned in waters far flatter: your crew is miles from the nearest chunk of land and the vessel can’t withstand this weather— you’re all gonna die and the crewmate must know. He knows and he’s singing.
Crashing waves silence heavy thunder. The sky glows endless white, one last fissure of lightning darting down before the deck lights bright gold.
Fire surges. It dances in your eyes and you swallow a scream.
She’s waiting at home, still. It can’t be over, it can’t be, it can’t be—
Fiery yellow, and then everything spins, your world going lopsided as the ship groans and you tip.
And then, it’s all blue.
Dark, vast cerulean interpolated only by flotsam that drifts away the moment you reach for it, fingers desperately clawing for the surface.
Up, or down— you’re not sure which way you’re swimming.
You do know, though, that you never find your buoyancy.
Hands. Hands on you and dragging you down, down, down, and then it’s clear the wrecked pieces of the ship are getting further away, not closer. A deepness surrounds you. Cold, quiet. The storm’s effects are mitigated the lower you sink— it’s counterintuitive, you think, because surely you’ll drown regardless, but a strange sense of calm washes over you as the air peters from your lungs. They spasm as you choke.
But you got to get home, you must get home to her—
The tips of your boots touch the sandy floor.
It’s tranquil, under the sea. The reefs are vivid, swaying with bubbling marine life. Navy blue swirls around you and is limned with muted fire light, displacing itself with every wild movement of your limbs. You flail them helplessly but something—
Something is holding you down and it’s singing—
From afar, and through bleared eyes, the coral looks like upright rods of colorful bone, yellow and blushing-orange. An opaque red smears over them— curling and wavering into smoke-like trails. It’s reminiscent of black and white marble. Beautiful, in a way.
A long, glittering tail scrapes across your leg.
You realize it’s blood- your blood- and then in a heartbeat, a pair of talons pierce through the veil and—
A gasp.
You come to wakefulness with a frightened noise.
That dream- you’d been having it for days now, each more fragmented and blurry than the last… But this time, it’s strikingly clear.
Horror frosts your eyes over, glossy and wide as you undo the covers bound tightly around you, standing to shaking feet.
That awful, awful dream— it’s not in your point of view, you realize, it’s in your fiancé’s, and that same claw that had been gracious enough to scoop you up and save you from stormful, roaring swells—
Dragged your lover down to the depths, burying him in liquid oblivion.
As you shrug on a thin cardigan and hurry outside, dashing under moonlit lawns with the single-minded focus to reach the beach, you vaguely wonder if you’re being unreasonable, if all these little dreams and visions and songs you’ve been experiencing are nothing short of delirium. But this is too coincidental— Rafayel had smoothly shirked all your questions days ago, and you realize now that the dull look in his eye wasn’t boredom but jealously, ugly and sudden, masquerading under disinterest.
Knowledge of that- and your naivety- comes to you in piecemeal.
You’ve been stupid. You’d been holding onto the feeble hope that your soon-to-be husband was somewhere out there, scraping together shellfish on an uncharted islet or lost at sea with his crew-mates but alive. Deep down, you always knew it was the dreams of a fool.
But damn it all if you’d just… stopped yourself for one fucking second to nudge aside your denial and take a good look at your marine friend, you’d have seen the lack of common sense in it. Your lover’s met no different and no more painless, as much as it horrifies you- a fate than the sailors depicted in all those whimsical tales of old.
You sing out to the sea. Anger warms your chest like a fleece, cardigan be damned, fists clenched so tight your palms swell as you cry out.
Panic, subtle but niggling, speaks to you from underneath thick layers of hate and pain, but you’re beyond the point of reason. No, you need to hear it from the siren himself just what the fuck happened to your other half— if he can hear your lamenting after dark without issue, surely he would’ve at least caught wind of some devastation off the coast or spotted the debris in his own waters—
But he’s been keeping something from you.
“Rafayel!” You cry again. It’s impossible to swallow the lump in your throat; it seeks to climb to the surface but for now, with a remnant of control that surprises yourself, you manage to keep from spitting it up.
Nausea turns in your belly, but you keep it at bay. Just barely.
Unshed tears burn your cornea. “Rafayel!” You don’t scream, no, your lungs are too wounded and overwhelmed by the simple task of drawing air to, but it’s a near thing.
Furious, beginning to think he’ll conveniently not show or he’s merely ignoring you, your feet splash into the water until you’re shin-deep.
You hiccup. “R-Rafayel! I know you’re there!”
Eventually, a head bobs above the tide, infuriatingly nonchalant, and a turqoise fluke appears not long after it, twinkling just barely under a clouded, night sky.
He doesn’t look as tired as you’re sure you do- and not by a long shot quite as disturbed. If anything, he looks a little pleased with himself.
Wet indigo waves give a little bounce as he lazily approaches, watchful eyes glimmering with something you’re both too enraged and emotional to name. Something like betrayal courses through you— distracting you from the very real fact that the siren is drawing closer.
He says nothing as you shake your hands emphatically, eyeballs practically bulging out your head. They might pop out and roll. “You-! You knew!” You accuse, momentarily stunned at the broken sound of your voice. “You knew all along b-because you did it, didn’t you? You’ve been lying to my face this whole time— You killed him! Y-You ripped him apart I fucking saw it—“
Your tirade is clipped short with a hiccuping gasp as you fully erupt into tears. You don’t bother to wipe them or even hang your head, brows furrowed as Rafayel regards you with a contemplative, almost curious look.
An undercurrent of desire, dark and intense, exists under it, though, and you can’t will yourself for any longer to view him as the same harmless, aquatic humanoid who’d rescued you.
You find yourself for both a lack of coherency and also gratitude; he could’ve left you to decay at the bottom of the ocean for all you care, or thrown you to the hands of Neptune or the feeding pit of sharks— it’s almost preferable to this.
Rafayel’s face, admittedly handsome, in a pretty way (albeit, you’ve no idea why your brain is suddenly forming opinions on his appearance, especially now of all times), is relaxed, devoid of emotion. You recognize the impatience there, though… like there’s been a string that you’ve pulled taut.
The silent truth that has been overarching your life for the past couple months- you don’t want to come to terms with it or you might break otherwise.
For the life of you, you can’t even understand what his goals were in all of this—
You hurl your anger at him and flail your arms and shout until your trachea feels like aggregate when you swallow, and he waits it all out with an ease that gets you impossibly riled up.
You suck in a sharp breath and shudder when you open your eyes again, color seeming to reenter your periphery, and measure the distance Rafayel has bridged.
Gasping, you go to take a step back, knees knocking together like newborn foal as a distinct sense of panic rips through you- not right, it screams, and, you messed up, you messed up, you stupid, stupid—
“Silly girl,”
A loud splash. A resistance.
Rafayel lurches his arm, belly almost brushing against the sandbar, and takes ahold of your ankle.
You let out a yelp, instantly reaching down to try to unlatch him from you, dismay robbing you of oxygen, but it’s too late for that. Each of your clumsy attempts is precluded. Faded scars line the knob of your ankle and Rafayel presses into them with the smooth pads of his fingers- forcefully, but he’s mindful not to use his nails. He’s learned since the last time.
He gives one good tug and you stand no chance, falling with a slosh.
Pulling you towards him, he’s fully confident now that you’re in his liquid domain, slowly dragging you away from the shallow end, from home- or at least, the shriveled, sad remains of it.
Mortified, and still very much resisting him— the merman surprisingly gentle, cognizant of your frailty despite the iron grasp he subdues you with— you throw a frantic glance up and watch as the shore shrinks.
“No!” He’s very careful to keep your head above the tide, but you’re choking still.
This is not the first time he’s helped you into the ocean and swam recreationally with you, usually with the addition of little trinkets and pretty shells you bring to swap, but it’s definitely the first time he’s trapped you in his arms, lean and impossible to swat away, and ignored your asks to return to land.
You remember your front door then, funnily enough, how you left in a tizzy and far too shaken to lock it, and burst into another sob.
You’ll not be returning, will you?
“Please!” You blubber with all the grace of a fish out of water. You squirm like one, too. “Please, don’t kill me, Rafayel, don’t- don’t eat me—!”
A laugh, breathy but humored- cruel in its softness- rings at your ear. Gorgeous tail folded in front of you, brushing against your rear and the underside of your thighs as they fruitlessly kick out, Rafayel uses it to propel you both backwards, treating your kidnapping like a pleasant stroll.
“Of course I won’t eat you, princess,” he coos, placing a painless but clearly posessive- like he’s marking his territory- nip to the juncture of your neck and shoulder. It makes you shiver. “Don’t you understand by now?” He frowns, “You’re mine. The ocean’d sooner dry up then watch me lay a fin on you.”
There’s exactly zero things funny about this situation, so with a pang of wrath, you don’t know why he’s laughing. Maybe at the irony, because in any case, he most certainly has laid a fin on you—
You feel angry at yourself next in the seconds that follow, managing to bite into the flesh of his scale-dotted forearm and slip out of his grip— thrashing away without ceremony before he hisses and curtly regathers you.
“You’re a slippery fishie, huh, cutie? You can’t seriously think I’ll just let you swim away though, right?” His tone darkens then, deepening with a quiet warning you can’t help but feel is incongruous to the generally mild, sassy but otherwise friendly merman you’d grown to know.
When you try to break free again, the exertion summoning a state of near dry-drowning, Rafayel drops all efforts at patience and seizes you by the throat.
His hand curling around your neck, almost playing at the idea of testing just how tragic your power dynamic really is, he lets out a frustrated noise behind you. He knocks his nose into the side of your face, tealy lamella spotting the surface of his cheek and scratching against yours.
Unfamiliarly low, he grumbles out, “You’d better stop fightin’, girl, because if you spin out of control, there’s no guarantee what’ll happen to you. You’re hurting yourself. Stop it, now, I said.”
That fully frightens you. The scream buried within your throat dies, withers into nothing.
Attenuated, pointed nails graze the soft flesh of your jugular, reminding you of all the horrific, brutal ways he could sunder you in two, but they don’t draw so much as a drop of blood.
“P-Please—“ You sputter, desperately digging at his forearms that make an X over your midriff and collarbone, your toes launching out of the water. Your fight, for as valiant as it is, is sapping you of an impressive amount of energy and at an alarmingly fast rate.
But you can’t stop. You refuse to buckle to him- because to bow your head and agree to give in would be like finally surrendering to the cold reality that has, as of a number of weeks ago, completely shrouded your life.
Y-You can’t admit he’s dead— that you’re entirely crazy, widowed, and in the strictest definition alone—
“Ah-ah, princess,” he murmurs as you heave wildly, “don’t you think that’s enough running away? It’s not fair if I can’t come on land at all, you know. Come and swim with me for a while.” Rafayel coaxes, resuming his more mild demeanor within a blink.
He releases a somewhat exasperated, yet thrilled sigh. It shakes as it leaves his damp lips, blue and fuschia-red eyes glittering with barely repressed delight as he lifts his chin from your shoulderblade.
Then, he leans in towards your ear, and he sings.
⊹⊹⊹
Everything is dream-like.
Birds soar overhead in a breezy circle. They offer a few, occasional squawks that help you to the conclusion of seagulls: paired with the rhythmic, wet purr enveloping you- and the warmth flushing your cheeks- you’d wager you’re at the ocean.
Perhaps a relaxing beach day with your fiancé. He’s laid out the cloth (albeit, it feels oddly… hard, smooth as if the sand beneath is without lumps), and you’ve just stirred from a long nap set to the backdrop of light, gusting sand and crashing whitecaps.
Something in your core throbs.
A particularly tall wave in comparison to the other relatively flat ones smacks against the black rock and cools your skin. Sweat beads at your forehead, the center of your thighs offering a sequence of dull aches that have you feeling weak, wanting nothing more than to let your eyes roll back and stay that way.
You make an incoherent noise as the metaphorical fog clears, buttery, white light warming you. Dawn, you realize hazily, lashes fluttering open gradually, it’s dawn.
…But when you’d last blinked, it was late into the night.
Memories pour back in, a potpourri of muddled events tracing back to this moment- uncertainty startling you upright as—
A hand, firm and a little slimy, presses your belly down.
It bars you from most movement, strong but gentle. A tongue- long and flat and fucking mind-numbing as it laps at your pussy- swirls experimentally against your clit and vibrates with a low, satisfied moan.
Not yours; but the next one that rings out, high and aroused and very, very afraid, is.
You can hardly recognize the sound of it. A thick beat of silence passes before you finally do, brain struggling to reconcile with this startling, admittedly idyllic panorama laid out before you.
A disoriented glance tossed down tells you all you need to know to confirm your fears, a sickness churning so deep in your gut you think it’s plausible you could puke up yesterday’s supper. What spills out from your slack jaw is another helpless, pleasured mewl instead.
Rafayel, mostly submerged in the water but with his upper half braced against the flat rock’s ledge, drapes your legs (trembling, you confusedly note, as if they’ve been positioned that way for a while now) over his broad shoulders to better present his prize and feasts on it like a man starved. One large hand serves as like an anchor on your abdomen, keeping you moored as you positively lose your mind, the other carefully thumbing apart your slick folds.
Somewhere between the span of late last night and very early this morning, he’s gotten them puffy and unbelievably wet, your tight hole clenching around absolutely nothing as his lips- just as swollen and needy- suckle on your tiny bump of nerves.
You rest your head back against the smooth surface of the rock, lukewarm but not quite scorching yet- the sun still moseying its way up the sky, clouds parting to reveal a diluted yellow canvas behind them. Resignation weighs you down better than any hand ever could.
You bite down another moan mixed with a sob and leave dents in the tender tissue of your bottom lip.
He parts with your pussy for just a moment, hesitating like he’s sad to step out from its warmth, knuckling over your labia with a reverence you feel is misplaced considering the circumstances.
He’s cruel when he lifts his eyes to yours, heavy-lidded and utterly transfixed.
The sincere, amorous glint in them is like a bucket of ice water dumped over your head, something you couldn’t prepare for or adapt to in time, his head dipping down briefly to pepper a lingering kiss to the gooey seam of you. Mine, everything about the way he gazes up at you says, and, if you don’t believe me then let me prove it.
“You’re gorgeous,” he groans, the dark sphere of his pupils spilling out like ink onto a multicolored canvas. He’s worshipful in nature, but curious- tentative to every little twitch your fatigued face gives, wondering how to push your buttons just right- perhaps above all, just desperate to know if your slick cunt will keep supplying him with that sweet, hot nectar- but it’s been so generous to him thus far, so he figures he’ll just keep on taking.
“It looks just like a seaflower,” he murmurs, breath ragged over the placid lull of the tide as he strokes your flesh, “Like the ones I’d grab from the ocean floor to give you, but so much prettier... Sweeter.”
Rafayel is careful not to hurt you- you can tell, somehow, that he’s fighting tooth and nail with his inner animal, his baser instincts, to keep the last modicum of his control. Hurting you, no matter how accidental or quick, would be detrimental. He knows that. He’s felt it. And to be perfectly honest, he’s quite enjoyed it— but you don’t fall under the category of food or paltry entertainment, no, you’re so much more than that to him.
The pretty, kind girl who kept the brainless town out of your unlikely relationship, who sang her way into his heart and stole it despite himself. His best friend, his sweet little playmate and—
…Mate. Yes, his mate.
“Have you been feeling me?” He asks suddenly. “At home, in bed? I’ve been trying to call out for you,” he relays in an affected pant you wish to unhear as he resumes suckling at your shamefully wet pussy.
You hate this, how worked up he’s managed to get you, how pliant your own body has become as it all but sells itself to him- guilt and confusion swelling in your chest. “I’ve been trying to get you to see how much I like you, princess. B-But it’s like you’ve been shooing me away or something—“
You hardly give any mind to what he’s muttering about, the point of his nose nudging against your sensitive nerves and expediting your release as he licks eagerly at your folds, your whole body trembling with delight. You don’t think you really want to know, anyway.
Sea salt shoots up against the rock, licking your limbs with a cool spritz. He muffles a low breath of amusement into you. “But you’re here now, I guess. Mngh- and you’re so delicious. You’re… fragile though,” he pants, prodding his long, hot tongue against your tiny clenching hole before delving inside it with a violent shudder, his cheeks bright red. “You might have to help me inside, cutie. I don’t exactly wanna break you.”
That stuns you. His words, single-minded and husky, remind you of just how fucked up this all is— and a panic crosses the involuntary fog of your head as you snap it down to get a good look at him.
You were sure merfolk had their own means of reproduction, but it’d never been more than a passing curiosity until now, your heart in your throat as you squint to make out just what he’s working with beneath the water.
Lazily, he looks up to you and smiles when he discovers what you’re doing. It’s a hungered, smitten one, sharp teeth peeking out and all. All your squirming is nothing more than an attempt at self-preservation, unsure of just what he’s endowed with but vaguely knowing- by the size of his tail and difference of species- you sure as hell won’t be compatible with it.
The need to escape is puissant and your limbs begin to move— but they feel oddly leaden, less like flesh and more like stone.
“You wanna see me, pretty girl, yeah? What’re you planning to do?” He coos, swilling away at your watering cunt, nursing from the endless stream of juices like a man possessed. Your fiancé's face flashes before your mind and you make a choked sound.
As if sensing your thoughts, Rafayel lets out a little contented noise and nuzzles against the soft inner portion of your shaking thighs.
“He screamed, just so you know,” a low chuckle rumbles from his chest and warps into a pretty moan. It’s too light and dulcet for comfort, and it feels disproportionate to the general sting of it all. You loathe the unbidden current of arousal that gushes through you at it, wetting his slender fingers as it trickles down the thigh he cuffs.
One final shlick of your throbbing pussy and the merman maneuvers with relative ease onto the rock, his thick tail flopping off at the edge and disappearing into the crystal water. And there’s nothing exactly large about Rafayel’s stature, but he feels heavy as he hovers over you, elbows flanking either side of your head, and the appendage that seems to summon itself between you, drooping with engorged need over your stuttering belly—
You don’t want to look. Too afraid to.
You suppose you don’t have to, anyway: Rafayel grabs your face and cradles your jaw in his smooth palm, hot, labored breaths warming your slack lips. The sun is lifting higher, now, a clementine-gold sky burning like blood low on the horizon. Soon, the temperatures- and his touch as it charts out the most intimate parts of you- will begin to bake your skin.
“He was all bubbly under the water,” he groans with a trace of humor, “but I saw the worry written all over his face. Back then, I’d always wondered why he looked so concerned... not afraid, concerned. But I guess… it was ‘cause he had you to get back home to, huh, cutie?”
Saccharine sweet, he dotes before wrenching your chin up in a desperate, heedless kiss- the action all too cathartic too him but world-stopping for you- and you feel the fat head of something foreign bob between your folds.
“Poor guy,” he moans, voice absolutely ruined as you lurch helplessly beneath him, back arching to accommodate the impossible stretch. You expect it to hurt- to be a searing pain as his massive, inhuman cock spears you apart- but a near blinding delight racks through your body instead as he worms his way inside your walls, wet and primed, your eyes fluttering back.
“But at least his death served a purpose. You’d never have sung for me otherwise. Would never have- went out looking,” he shudders, hanging his head against the sweaty column of your neck, his brilliant-blue tail sloshing in the water on its own accord.
“It’s all thanks to him,” he growls out, tone oozing possession- the innocent little merman you befriended dematerializing before your very eyes. “You’re mine now. Mine.”
And when it’s all said and done, strong, toned arms gathering you up with a low splash as the docks rupture with gradual life, the boots of fisherman croaking over waterlogged wood, and Rafayel takes you under the water- giving you breath with a deep, intimate kiss-
You’ve the feeling that your dreams of reuniting with your lover will fulfill themselves in their own roundabout, warped way.
But you know Rafayel’s not ever letting you go as he undresses your finger of its sparkling ring and tucks you away in his underwater cove— placing you in his nest with reverence before prying apart your numbed legs with rekindled hunger.
Curling across your face, a soaked lock of your hair drifts absently in the still waters and Rafayel thumbs it aside, clipping it back with a little clamshell fashioned as jewelry. He leans over you contentedly, whole body and fluke swallowing you up without difficulty or protest, and happily feeds you oxygen from his lips.
You cling to him helplessly and have no choice— several hundred feet below land level— but to hungrily nurse from him every few hours and pray he won’t make the sudden decision to deprive you of it.
Something in his rippling eyes tells you he won’t, though.
He dips down to paste a lingering peck into your temple, the pad of his thumb roving appreciatively under your eye.
“Don’t you think you’ve seen enough of the land, princess? The brainless humans up there don’t want you anymore, and that’s okay,” he whispers, tiny bubbles floating like balloons before popping. “You belong down here, with me. Who says you need a tail or fins to be one of us?” Mistily, you wonder just what exactly he’s trying to say and who he’s trying to convince of its veracity, a blip of frustration marring his pretty face before it retreats.
“I’ll give you life for as long as I live,” he vows, mouth brushing tenderly against yours as his cheeks puff out and he blows.
“See? Just like this, princess. Just keep holding onto me.”
#love and deepspace#lads smut#lads rafayel#rafayel x reader#rafayel smut#rafayel x you#love and deepspace x reader#lads x reader#love and deepspace smut#rafayel love and deepspace#yandere#calebrity#if u see a typo#pretend u didnt#anyways back to my gege bullshit#expect at least a lil drabble of him within the next week or so 🤡#syluss new card looks domestic as hell as well so….#goodnoight 🫡#‧₊ 🍰.┊𝒄𝒂𝒌𝒆𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛
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2:15 am | c. sturniolo
HI yes im alive who’s surprised (me, i am)
self proclaimed mayor of the ‘chris can’t sleep alone’ club (doing gods work, you’re welcome)
summary: chris cant sleep & you’re the perfect remedy
wc: 834
gif by @hotelstares !
you haven’t been asleep very long. maybe twenty minutes or half an hour.
you’re in the midst of a fuzzy dream when your phone starts to vibrate on your dresser next to your bed. the sound is difficult to recognize at first, getting all mixed up with your dream in your mind. eventually it wakes you up, tugging you away from the soft haze you’d been emersed in.
groggily, you reach over for the device, squinting your eyes to try and read the contact. your eyes are bleary, but you’re able to make out your boyfriends name and contact photo after a brief seceond.
“chris?” you wonder through the line upon answering, voice thick with sleep and hardly above a whisper.
“hey ma,” his voice is smooth, like he hasn’t been asleep yet.
“hi…i think i was dreaming about you,” you say as you let your head fall back against the pillow, rubbing gently at your eyes with your other hand.
“yeah?” he says through a deep breath. the smile your confession elicits from him is audible and contagious.
“yeah, either that or i just spent the last four days with you and my brain hasn’t realized we’re apart yet,” you think he must be able to hear your smile as well.
“my brain hasn’t really realized it either,” he mumbles, getting a little bit shy.
you close your eyes, content being soothed by his voice.
“what time is it?” you ask him, even if you could easily look at your phone screen for the answer. opening your eyes feels like too much work.
chris answers of course, without hesitation, “2:15,”
“it’s pretty late, you okay, bub?” you ask him before answering your own question, “can’t sleep?” you know how he gets, always needing someone close by when he drifts off.
you can imagine it’s a bit difficult tonight, considering you spent the last few nights sharing his bed. you’d found it a little harder than normal too, having gotten used to his arms tucked around you, his face pressed against your shoulder blade.
“i miss you,” he mutters and it makes you blush, “and i don’t wanna crawl into bed with matt or nick, i know it won’t help,” he admits, letting out a long breath.
“you wanna come over?”
“would that be okay?” he seems a little bit embarrassed, like he might be inconveniencing you.
“of course, chris,” you open your eyes now, reaching over to turn on your bedside lamp, “i want cuddles now,” you say sheepishly, face still half pressed against your pillow, muffling the words.
“mmk, i’ll get an uber, be there soon,”
“kay, love you,” you sigh, waiting for him to hang up.
“love you too,” he says first, making you smile even if you’ve heard it a thousand times.
in the twenty minutes it takes for chris to show up, you’re drifting in and out of sleep, trying your hardest to keep the lull of exhaustion at bay as you wait, no matter the difficulty.
soon enough, the sound of a key in the lock sends a small jolt of wakefulness through you, and you anticipate the subtle push of the door as he comes through to your bedroom.
“nick or matt’s bed wasn’t good a enough?” you tease, watching him turn a little red as he shuffles into your room.
“i wanted to sleep in your bed,” he mumbles, beanie hanging low and covering his eyebrows, pajama pants hanging lower. he lifts the duvet and crawls in with you, immediately wrapping you in his arms, “nd’ i wanted to sleep with you, not my stinky brothers.”
you laugh, stifling it against the blankets “m glad you’d rather snug with me,”
“you kidding? you’re the best snugger around.”
“i’d say,” you hum, tugging his beanie off and tossing it somewhere on your floor.
he gives you a squeeze before reaching over to turn you so you’re facing him, “thanks for letting me come over,” he mutters, beaming in the low light. he looks so pretty like this, grinning down at you, illuminated by the soft glow of your lamp. he reaches up slightly and brushes your hair from your face.
you have a small moment of realization; he’s admiring you the same way you’re admiring him. you think your heart grows in size, gratitude making it swell up.
“thanks for comin’,” you whisper back, leaning up so your noses touch.
chris closes the gap, giving you a gentle kiss before pulling back and kissing your forehead too.
“night,” he tucks you against him, keeping you close, “i love you,” it’s sweet, how his tone changes. it’s tired now, chalked full of sleep and you can’t help but think it’s because he’s with you now, and that’s what puts him at ease enough to finally relax.
“i love you too,” you whisper into the barely-there space between you, watching as his eyes close and his lashes kiss the tops of his cheeks.
you can’t help yourself, leaning forward just enough to kiss him there too.
.
.
.
.
tags ! @st4rswrld @urfavvev3lyn @mattsturnioloarchive @averysbestyears @its-jennarose @strnilolo @grimholic @tworosesblackthorn @mattscoquette @dazednmatthews @pinkishpearls
#stromboli#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo fic#chris sturniolo blurb#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo drabble#chris sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo
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*・゚✧ JJK Character's Fav Positions
tags: multi character x reader, gn! reader, fluff, acute descriptions of cuddling, sfw and nsfw below the cut, the students aren't included in the nsfw portion dw
word count: expected 2.2k
a/n: im struggling with a geto wip so have this for tonight :3c i wonder if u can tell whos my fav to write
⋆。˚ ♡ spooning: reserved for the clingiest of people, those who wanna feel your warmth no matter what, snuggled tight holding your back to their chest under a blanket and falling asleep to the slow breaths you make in your slumber
nobara: she's a girl with a very busy life, socially and academically, so when she finally gets to come home and relax into you, her back being embraced by you and held snugly to your chest as she sighs in content, she's as happy as can be. especially after a nice warm shower to wash the day's work away, curling up in bed in her jammies and taking a well deserved nap is all she needs. she gets very irritable if (god forbid) she cant be with you for a while
yuuta: he's a very sweet boy, even when sleeping. if u two end up cuddling, you'll somehow always end up being spooned, no matter how you two fell asleep. yuuta claims he has no idea how this happens, but youre starting to doubt him when you fell asleep at the foot of the bed and woke up with a snoring yuuta behind you. though, you dont have it in you to push him away, considering the way he grumbles and reaches out for you until youre back in his arms
getou: while he wasn't the one to initiate being the little spoon, that seems to be the role you gave him when you first started sleeping in the same bed. even while he was relaxed, his back muscles seemed to entrance you enough to want to stare at them while he slept. he wasn't surprised or offended at your reasoning of course, quite the opposite. you were fueling his already huge ego so how could he deny you? now, he'll rest with the feeling of your deft fingers combing through his hair, while your other hand was running across the bumps and crevices of his back.
⋆。˚ ♡ hugging: for the cuddling enjoyer who also wants to smoosh your face with their chest. legs tangled together, the comforting scent of your shampoo in their nose and their hand gently cupping the back of your head
gojo: speaking of the clingiest man alive. he treats you like a stuffie half the time while you two sleep, hugging you tight to his chest and having your face buried in the crook of his neck while he snoozes away. much like yuuji, the pressure of you against his body helps relax him, but unfortunately for you, that means this 6'3 man squeezing you as tight as possible and stacking on blankets on top of your combined bodies. let's hope you two live somewhere cold
inumaki: he always slept in fetal position before you two started dating, so this was just naturally how you two began cuddling. inumaki either slept at 8 pm sharp or he'd still be awake when you got up in the morning, so who was cuddling who was never consistent. sometimes, inumaki slept with his arm thrown across your hip and his face squished against your side, and others he'd hook his arm around the small of your back and hold you while you slept
⋆。˚ ♡ head on lap: sometimes you don't wanna go all out with cuddling your partner, and for those occasions look no further than the thigh pillow ™ for when you or your partner are too tired to move from the couch to the bed
maki: few words are ever spoken when you two do this. you could be catching up on your schoolwork, or talking with maki, or watching the tv, but often times you'll simply stop and roll over to lay on her lap, neither of you questioning or even batting an eye to it anymore. even when you first did it, there was only a moment of confusion in maki's face before she shrugged and continued talking to you
choso: when you asked him how he liked to cuddle one day, he shrugged his shoulders and answered with "whatever makes you happy." and while he meant it, you couldnt deny the pattern you noticed when you were lounging in bed, or sitting down, where choso would inevitably end up cozied between your thighs, his head resting on your tummy with his hand around your back. pro tip, he makes happy hums if you put your hand on his head
⋆。˚ ♡ head on chest: who needs blankets when you have a whole other person? the classic and well loved position that lets them hold u as close as they can, arm snagging around your waist and holding you tight as you drift into dream land
megumi: you may have thought this meant youre laying on his chest. nope. it took a while for him to open up with what he wanted with you, physically, but it very quickly turned into routine how he'd wordlessly crawl into your arms and flop down against your chest, grumbling incoherently when you asked him what was the matter. you'd sigh and resume whatever you were doing, combing through his messy hair until the soft sound of snores filled the room minutes later.
nanami: this man does not play around about two things, children and his sleep. he's very particular with how he rests, as in you *will* be with him while he sleeps, and you *will* be placed on his chest, held tight as he snored away. youre his wonderful break from monotony, a shining ray of sunshine in his cold and unwelcoming world, so forgive him for being clingy while he rests. though, this does come with the downside of him becoming restless if you're ever away. dont worry! he has a pillow with your scent sprayed onto it for this very occasion, just in case
toji: he wasnt huge on cuddling at first, both not used to it and finding it inconvenient to deal with if he needed to do anything at night. he didnt sleep well before you, and even if that hasnt changed, you snuggling up to him like a huge teddy bear at least gave him something to focus on in those sleepless fits he often has. on the rare occasion he sleeps before you awaken, youre extra careful to press a kiss to his chest as he silently rested underneath you
⋆。˚ ♡ in their lap: cuddling doesn't always have to mean sleeping, of course. sometimes its just a really really long hug with your partner. for times like this, curling up in someone's lap while you laze your time away sounds like a paradise
yuuji: at first, scooting you into his lap was just an easy way to keep you close while he had nothing else to do, arm secured around your waist while you either scrolled through your phone or talked to him about your day, the mundane things he loved about you. but, as he soon found, you on his lap added the extra bonus of pressure! a sturdy weight and warmth on his body, allowing him to relax and melt into you in those moments of silence shared between you two.
sukuna: lets just say you're lucky he's touchy at all with you. he'll tolerate surprise hugs or pecks on his shoulder, but the only physical touch he seems to ever enjoy is when you're slotted in his lap, free to touch and poke at whenever he pleases. you'd whine if he pinched your cheek, squawk if he pressed his nails into the meat of your thighs, glare at him if he groped your ass. all those lovely reactions are a fair trade for you scooting yourself into his lap and using his chest as a pillow, he deems
NSFW UNDER CUT!!! MDNI
⋆。˚ ♡ cowgirl: save a horse, ride a cowboy seeing you take control is unbearably sexy. pivoting your hips up and down on their dick while your hands grip at their shoulders, or having their hands grab at your ass while you slowly grind down against them. either way theyre yours for the taking
ino: a loveable, yet irritating trait of your boyfriend, is that he struggled to fuck you again after a round. you couldnt blame him, with how fast and hard he pounded into you and how he'd always make sure to hit your sweet spots until you were spasming and cumming around his cock. but when you werent satisfied just yet, he spared no time lifting you up into his lap, eagerly offering his cock for you to use as you pleased. and really, how could you pass up an offer like that?
getou: why should he have to do the work when you look this good riding him? his eyes never leave yours while you're bouncing in his lap, the slap of your skin against his backing up your huffs and whines of pleasure, looking at him so pitifully when he backs his hips down out of you. "you want more? come on honey, work for it. thaaat's right, move your hips just like that f' me" he'd egg you on so sweetly, smiling at your pout while you spread your legs and angled your hips to take him deeper inside
⋆。˚ ♡ doggy style: nasty mfs who live for seeing your ass jiggle with every thrust or slap they give you. the way your tiny waist arches down and your chest is pressed flat against the sheets while they're pounding away at you is unbeatable to them
yuki: behind every woman with a big ass is an even bigger strap, and yuki is the prime example of that. she loves to fuck you in front of a mirror in this position too, cooing at you for being so good at taking her dick while fucking you with aimed precision, making you look at yourself while shes thrusting deep inside you. its enough to make you melt into the sheets and wail at the onslaught of pleasure going through your body, but dont worry, she still has so much more to give you
⋆。˚ ♡ against the wall: can you say desperate? they love this position so much, sloppy makeouts that lead to pinning you against the nearest surface because they feel like they'll die if their lips leave yours for even a second
gojo: call him a showoff, because its true. in this position, he can show you just how small you are compared to him, size and strength wise. bouncing you up and down on his cock until your pretty head doesnt work anymore, seeing your eyes oggle his flexed arms and the space where he was fucking up into you. this paired with fucking you inside his office? his dick has never been harder. the thought of someone hearing how good youre getting fucked, coupled with your horrible attempt at muffling your cries and moans makes him so fucking turned on
shoko: shes a true switch, which means its a toss up for whos gonna be on the wall in this position. it all depends on her mood, and who shes had to deal with today. if it was a slow day at work, she'll happily make out with you and grind her knee into your crotch against the door of your apartment for as long as she pleases. though, if her day was more hectic, shes not so subtly grinding herself onto your lap and pressing her fingers into your mouth, sighing woefully about how stressed she is until she expectedly pulls out her fingers, waiting for you to offer yourself to help her
⋆。˚ ♡ 69: they love the competitive-ness of this position. being able to grab your hips and shove them down onto their flat tongue, getting harder when they can feel how much you're struggling to focus from their mouth. but when you grind down into their mouth while bobbing your head on their cock? hooh
toji: hes so mean when he has you like this.. ruthlessly bucking his hips up into your tight and wet throat, sloppily licking and sucking at you and twitching at the feeling of you gagging when he hits the back of your throat. you can barely move your head, your brain getting fucked out by toji's tongue and lips expertly taking you apart piece by piece. you never lasted long when he had you like this either, much to his delight. eagerly lapping up your cum while you moaned and hopelessly squirmed in his grip felt better than any orgasm hes ever gotten, though your throat comes at a very close second
nanami: nanami can at times forget this position is for the both of you, with how into it he can get. hes good about it at first, groaning into you from the way your tongue licks and swirls around his thick cock. but the more he tastes you, the more ravenous he gets with his sucks against you, licking up any stray wetness that threatens to fall down your thighs as the pace of your sucking slows and breaks. you can try to lift your hips away from his tongue, but good luck with that. the grip he keeps on your thighs is near impossible to break, even if your an orgasm or two deep into the session
⋆。˚ ♡ mating press: whispers of them others name falling right into their lips as their hips rock into you, thighs pressed tightly against your chests and your legs shaking on top of their shoulders. the closeness of this position never fails to rile them up, allowing them to see every little face you make, and hear all those noises they fuck out of you
sukuna: youre helpless underneath him, and thats the way he likes it. you can barely move around when his large, muscular frame is pinning you plush against the sheets of your bed, arms forced to clumsily hold onto his shoulders as he fucks you so deep, so harshly that you choke on your own breath from the power behind his thrusts. "sssuku-na, please, too mm-! is' toomuch, oh" your pleads fall on deaf ears, his thrusts never faltering nor easing up with their intensity.
choso: he honestly thinks he'll die if he isnt pressed up against you while hes fucking you. it all feels so intimate when hes got you with your legs bound to your torso from his chest, his thighs holding your body steady while hes all up in your guts. he feels so wonderfully deep inside you like this, hardly able to get out a full sentence from the way you squeeze and milk his long cock, crashing his lips into yours as tears start to well up in his eyes from how good it all feels
#jjk#jjk x reader#jujustu kaisen#jjk fanfiction#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fluff#jjk smut#gojo x reader#nanami x reader#choso x reader#ino x reader#sukuna x reader#geto x reader#yuuji x reader#megumi x reader#nobara x reader#shoko x reader#toji x reader#maki x reader#inumaki x reader#yuki x reader#yuuta x reader
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𐙚 𓏵𓏵𓏵 𐙚 𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬, | rex sloan 'splode' x gender neutral reader
love mail — PLEAASE please rex sloane be famous IM BEGGINg this took me like an hour but it's so long i'm actually surprised i committed to it. !!( ; ロ)゚ ゚guys.. .. please... my efforts for my alive husband.. MAJOR S3 SPOILERS ! angst too oops, not proofread sorri !
wc : 2.2k
the three times rex sloan broke your heart.
rex sloan, or splode, one or the other — depending on how much he liked you, was a man that many knew for his pride, ego, and utter selfishness. the living, breathing representative of a self absorbed man. you hated the fact you fell for his stupid jokes and undeniable charm, how could you not? in his words, he was irresistable, and you had to admit.. he wasn't lying.
rex had you smitten with that little smirk of his and promises of well spent 'bonding' and 'getting to know each other'. you were doomed the moment he caught on to what made you tick, and what made you flush.
the very first time he had broken your trust, was his promise to court you — to have a beautiful life with you, that your eyes were pretty, that you were his, all his. only to hear those same words as he pounds into some random woman in your apartment, to your dismay. clothes that weren't yours and ones that definitely belonged to rex are scattered all over the place, and you just feel sick.
you make sure to yell for them to get out. and your eyes burn into rex's unapologetic ones, you see that smile on his face — unashamed, uncaring. you accept your defeat, that you fell for stupid, flowery words, from a pretty face with an ugly heart. you fall to the floor when you hear the door click, wobbly knees unable to hold you up for any longer as you sob; heart screaming at you for allowing yourself to be betrayed like this — when you knew you should have been smarter, wiser. not fall to something as stupid as love.
dealing with him around the base was your worst nightmare. he was fine; same insufferable jerkbag, while you cried and cried for days on end. where your body felt used, and your heart strings being tugged so tightly, you were afraid your fraile organ would burst. you knew one thing for sure, rex splode — was a man beyond redemption, beyond saving, and beyond forgiveness.
you dealt with seeing his face all the time, pissing you off, the team off, and being the same arrogant asshole he always was. you scold yourself for ever thinking he was anything different, for all the times he confided in you, and you him, for all the times your connection was more than cheap sex — was revealed to be nothing. hell, you wouldn't even be surprised if the cheap sex was all rex cared about. fuck that guy. (not literally, enough of that.)
the second time was weird. because you never even took him back — but after his.. haunting battle with king lizard that damn near killed him, the team did everything they could to keep him alive. at the cost of him needing to be bedridden for a while, unconcious, barely breathing.
you don't know why you even bothered to visit. you used to fight the urge to bash his face in, but seeing him so.. still, perhaps even peaceful.. you come to wonder how anyone was able to tame that fire he so naturally burned with. you made regular visits with mark, his best friend. and the way he talked about rex, made you remember the version of him you understood him as. for all his spunk and bite, he was still a man. a man who just wanted to be loved; for reasons unbeknownst to you at the time, as his past left him feeling unwanted.
you pitied him, almost. nothing can excuse cheating, nothing — but still.. you can never really get rid of the affection you held for someone. in the back of your head, like a virus that won't go away, it stays.. even if you can't see it, you definitely feel it.
things got worse when he woke up, because you don't know why — or how — but he just.. got better. scoffs and sneers turned to smiles and greetings, brushed off attempts at small talk became check ups on his health, and for the first time in the longest time.. your heart softened for him. you felt the familiar ache of your heart whenever he was around, but not one of hatred, but instead of.. yearning. oh no. your feelings for him coming back a second time around was not welcomed.
you didn't know how to feel on the night rex asked to see you at the roof of your apartment complex, and you didn't know what you were thinking when you agreed to meet. your footsteps feel heavy as you walk the stairs to the very top, and when you open the door — there he is. you expected the whole hero get-up, it was like the only thing he wore.. but no, just a shirt and plain pants while he leaned against a short wall, his back turned as he looked over to the city below. weird, you noted, but rex splode was always weird. and annoying, and insufferable, and —
"you ever think about what it's like?"
you snap out of your thoughts — surprised to hear such softness in his voice. it was almost believable, you scoffed mentally, even if you two were on better terms, you remained cautious. but nevertheless, you walk towards him, standing by his side with crossed arms. "what are you getting at?" you mumbled, an unintentional bite in your tone as rex chuckled, all too familiar with it.
"you know, what it means to be more than a hero — something more than a masked figure that saves lives, lives that are the reason i can only wonder what it must be like to.." his voice trails off, but you're understanding the direction this conversation is going.
you opened your mouth to continue his sentence, the previous snark disappearing. "be happy, truly, and unapologetically happy." you finished, turning your head to search his face for confirmation of her assumption of his words. his bittersweet smile speaks volumes.
he then asks; "you know my last name? like, for real." laughing at the question, you answer without thinking. "splode. it's stupid, rex splode — explode —"
"sloan."
your laugh slowly dies down, blinking at the realization. "my full name is rex sloan." rex, for the first time in.. ever, looks vulnerable. and all of a sudden, you recall just exactly why you were always so captivated by those eyes of his.
the talk extends for a couple hours, some tears are shed, unsaid words were finally shared, and a single promise was made.
"i promise," rex's hand makes it's way to your cheek, soothing your sniffles as the other pulls you close by the hip. a gesture you once recognized as rex wanting something physical, but there was more to this.. something emotional, a connection beyond desire and lust. "—that i'll be better. i'll fix what i broke back then, when i was spoiled, a big brat.. and that i'll be a good man for you. for all the hurt i caused, i'll try to heal tenfold. i'll be more than.. rex splode, i'll be yours." he whispered, leaning in close and brushing his nose against yours, a form of sweet affection.
and at those words, you leaned in to kiss him. a seal, one could say, to his oath of change. and since rex was staring at your lips all night, being on his very best behavior, he appreciated the reward. "you know.." he mumbled against your lips, smiling. "for once in my shitty life, i think i'm actually content." a laugh escapes him, and you practically swallow it with the way he just.. can't, won't pull away from you. "it's kinda worth living if it's with you."
but nothing could be greater than his relief that you forgave him. that the man you found to be so repulsive and conniving, was worth forgiving. and you will never know how much that meant to him. how much you meant to him.
the third, and very last time rex had broken your heart, was the invincible war.
the team was sent to deal with an invincible variant, no biggie! rex was joking about how excited he was to kick his best friends ass, and you laugh.. the war was hard, after all. with so much destruction, some humor doesn't hurt.
you wish you told him to not underestimate the enemy, to have a high guard.. because maybe, maybe you could've stopped this.
monster girl and rudy are safe, they had long fleed the bridge and now it was just you and rex. beaten, bloodied, and bruised.. but together. rex had taken so many more hits, for you and the others more than anything else. the gash in his side is still dripping blood and you feel sick at the sight. you can't win this, you won't win this.
your thoughts are disturbed by the hardest hit you'll likely ever take if you make it out of here alive, slamming you into a wall, knocking the wind out of you. "agh—.." trying to get up serves impossible, every inch of your body is screaming for you to stand, but the building shakes with each explosion rex throws at gogglesible — and all you can do is helplessly watch as your boyfriend, the love of your life, still tries to fight a battle he knows he's lost.
your one good eye widens at the sight of gogglesible getting the upper hand, grabbing rex by the throat — chokes and curses of struggle escaping his lips. "when i'm done with you, it'll be your dumb little partner next. right after they watch you get torn to shreds, limb by limb, with nothing left of you to mourn." the variant spoke coldly, his grip on rex's neck tightening with every second.
you watched helplessly, tears brimming in your eyes as you catch rex's gaze. even as he struggles, he's still got his eyes on you, so loving, full of nothing but adoration. so that's when you know somethings wrong — because for all the love you have for him, you know he wasn't the type to become sappy in the middle of battle. not unless —
that's when you're forcing yourself to move. grabbing onto the wall as you don't notice the way he reaches into his aforementioned gash, too focused to getting to him before it's too late.
rex always joked about going out with a bang — oh fuck, please be some messed up joke.
"honey,"
the sound of his voice immediately makes you snap your head to him, the kindest smile is on his lips — and he's got that apologetic look in his eyes. he knows what'll happen, he just hopes you remember him fondly. not for who he was, but who he became. cause among everything else, he was grateful to become yours. that you will be the one person to remember him as rex sloan, and not the jackass the world made him be.
"make sure to look away f'me, yeah?"
three times rex broke your heart,
two times you chose to forgive —
and one whole lifetime to live without him.
you sob as you turn your head away, the sight too much to bear as the last thing you see is rex's skin beginning to glow an bright yellow hue.
"my entire goddamn skeleton, dickhead."
and then, it was over.
you wake up in a hospital bed, noticing the burn marks that cover your skin, almost mocking the experience you had only hours prior. a reminder of who you lost, permanently engraved on your body forever.
at your side, is a note; it's not anything grandiose, hell — it's crumpled and the penmanship looks half assed. but you know it all too well, rex.
hey, i'm awful at notes. don't expect sappy shit, alright? i just have a horrible feeling about the mission and, you know, no regrets. not saying somethings gonna go wrong but i just want you to know.
when i met you, i was a horrible guy. i chased nothing but my own self pleasure and ego, and i still regret it. the way you looked at me that night, i get scared of disappointing you like that again. god, i wish i wasn't writing this on some tiny notepad i stole from marks desk, but i digress.
i love you, holy fuck i love you. you're my world, my honey, my heart. you made an irredeemable scumbag a tolerable young man, and that's something to be proud of. make sure to never forget that, okay? you were the reason i stopped throwing myself into danger like i was immortal, for once i..
i would be afraid.
for the first time in my life, i was terrified of dying, and that was new — so incredibly new to me. regardless, i'm glad i get to come home to you every single night, honey. no need to be afraid of dying when i know i'll fight hard to live, and see your pretty eyes first thing in the morning.
i love you, for all your sassy remarks and shitty jokes, i love you.
i'll see you when we get back from the mission, and you'll laugh at me for making something so stupid and sappy. but you know i mean it, everything, it's always for you. all of it is for you.
— utterly yours, r. s. ♡
#♡ — 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆#rex sloan x reader#rex splode x reader#rex sloan#rex splode#invincible s3#invincible x reader
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😈😈😈
The way I got the grinch smile reading all your kinky! reader stuff-
Tuysrsyriseiysurddtdq35qseyud
My ahh HOWLING at the moon from all the good food you serve, chef!
Back to request the batboys (+Damian) wearing lingerie with a dom! reader.
Idk why, but seeing guys in pretty lingerie, it just- It does something to my psyche, my neurons are activated when I see that good stuff-
Also, congrats on 200 followers! Wish you more!
👏👏👏
~😈 anon
OK no more kinky stuff after this cuz I'm gunna get all kinked out- Kebdkdndj
Your lucky fuckers.

It's my favorite color
Summary: your all horny bastards and I hate you /j
Warnings: short and sweet, batboys in lingerie of your favorite color
A/n: IM ALL KINKED OUT 😭 i need angst in my holes
Bruce Wayne:
Seeing him in bed, in lingerie, that was your favourite color- it almost killed you.
You stared at Bruce, wide eyed, mouth agape as you took in his appearance, kneeling on the bed.
Then your nose started bleeding, and he started panicking.
seeing him run in this tight, lacy lingerie.
you passed out.
yeah he'd try it again another night.
Dick Grayson:
You were frantically shedding clothes off of each other, his leg wedged between your thighs as he pinned you to the wall and kissed you feverishly… you slid your hands up his shirt, and your eyebrows furrowed as you felt something lacy up on his chest.
You then slipped your hands down, past the band of his sweatpants and you moved to cup his ass, and again felt the same fabric.
You pulled your head back, pushing against his chest before you roughly tugged down his pants and gasped.
“Lingerie? Really Grayson? You thought that was gonna make me feel better after the shit you pulled on patrol yesterday-”
“I bought you a matching set-”
You pause, staring up at the tall man as you both stand awkwardly In front of each other in the hallway, panting, sweating…
“Get your ass in the bedroom Grayson. And grab my rope.”
Jason Todd:
Jason always seemed to be surprising you. From being alive again, to being a moany little bitch when pegged, to this.
Him in Lingerie, which just so happened to be your favorite color.
“Uhm- i iust- i know this is weird but-” he spoke up as you stared, watching as you silently walked over before tugging on the Lingerie bottoms, and the leather straps around his thick, muscly thighs.
You slowly moved to straddle his lap, then kissed him, softly, holding him close before you pulled back and rested your head against his.
“I want you to set up the camera and rail me Todd, wearing what you're wearing.”
Tim Drake:
It had been late, you and Tim were still at Wayne Enterprises, clocking in those overtime hours.
with some coffee in your hands, you made your way towards Tim’s office. You noticed that the blinds were closed, which you found odd, since he liked to keep them open for the most part.
You approached the door, and adjusted the cups in your hands before knocking on the door. “Timmy? You alright?” You called out to him.
“Yeah baby I'm good! Come in.” He called out to you, and so you did. Opening up the door and stepping inside, keeping your eyes on the coffee as you shut the door behind you, before glancing up at Tim, smiling, then glancing away, only to double back when your eyes clocked what he was wearing.
The coffee slipped from your Hands and clattered to the floor, spilling everywhere.
“UGH! Look what you made me do! If you're gonna dress up like a slut, then you can clean up the problem you made.” You hissed, and gestured To the floor. “On your knees and clean. After that I'll show you what I do to boys who look good in lace.”
Damian Wayne:
This is so unlike him.
Wearing female underwear, let alone your favorite color.
But you had been doing quite a lot together lately, and he accidentally stumbled upon one of your magazines, Which happened to show off men in lingerie.
You had one of the pictures circled
That was the set he bought.
Now he waited in your apartment (he may or may not have a key), and waited impatiently for you to walk in…
And on cue, you did.
“Dami?” you called out, already knowing damn well he was in your apartment. You had that tingly feeling every time he was around you.
Then you spotted him in the living room and you screamed.
From shock, and- yeah no, just shock.
Your boyfriend was wearing lingerie from a catalog and the set was so specific you knew he had read your magazine.
“I told you not to snoop through my things Dami! I mean holy shit- your smoking, this looks really good on you and you definitely deserve a BJ, but privacy!” You squeaked out, dropping your things and making your way over to him.
“It's not even my birthday yet-” you muttered.
Tag list:
All: @only-my-unexistent-fiances @francesfarhadi
Batfam:
BW smut: @ilaiise
DG smut: @ilaiise
JT smut: @ilaiise
TD smut: @ilaiise
DW smut:
#fanfiction#batfam x reader#batfam fanfic#batfam smut#batfam#bruce wayne x reader smut#dick grayson x reader smut#jason todd x reader smut#tim drake x reader smut#damian wayne x reader smut#bruce wayne x reader#dick grayson x reader#jason todd x reader#tim drake x reader#damian wayne x reader
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risk | max verstappen
summary: max confess in an interview that he took his nieces to y/n’s concert and made her a bracelet with his number on it
fc: gracie abrams
a/n: loosely based on taylor and travis cause those two are the cutest🫶🏽 this also fits perfectly with gracie’s new song so i just had to
—
KISS, MARRY, KILL posted by redbullracing on youtube



liked by francisca.cgomes, sabrinacarpenter and others
yourusername new york you’ll always have my heart ❤️
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username STUNNING
username the hardest mothering you’ve ever done i fear
username best concert ever i love you so much❤️🩹
username ate and devour 💋
sabrinacarpenter my love you killed it completely🫶🏽
yourusername STOPPP ILY💘
username what was the surprise song??
username mess it up!
username NOOOOOO


liked by taylorswift, maxverstappen1 and others
yourusername me and houston forever❤️🩹
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username the outfits omggg
username in awe of you
username im so lucky to be alive at the same time as you
taylorswift my baby you’re amazing🤍
yourusername i love love love you💗
username you’re so talented!!
username best day of my life💞
username loved the concert! also doble win cause i didn’t expect max to be there😁
username girl WHAT do you mean max was at the concert
username he’s on the likes too 👀


liked by flavy.barla, sabrinacarpenter and others
ynupdates new/old pictures of y/n at the last two grand prix’s (austin and brazil)
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tagged yourusername and maxverstappen1
username okay if this is not confirmation that they’re dating idk what it is
username this girl is on a whole ass tour and she still found time to go to max races 😭
username never in my life i thought i would be going to wake up at 1am to watch cars go in circles but i guess i’ll try for y/n
username like😭 a man could have never convinced me to watch formula 1 but y/n??? okay im seated
username and if i say it couple then what
username i’d say you’re completely right🫡

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, isahernaez and others
ynupdates y/n last night in chicago n1🤍 she included “risk” (her new single) into the setlist and sung “rumors” (her featuring with zayn) as a surprise song
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username elite night overall
username okay but this was was easy the best night yet
username the chicago n1 girlies won
username and guess who was at the concert again…
username 🦁?
username yep
username SHUT UP she sung rumors with max right there???
username and he was smiling the whole time it was very sweet 😭
username i’m also pretty sure that first picture was when she was singing it
username STOOOP😭

Y/N Y/L/N on her sold-out tour, new single “Risk” and new relationship posted by elle on youtube

#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fluff#f1 x reader#f1#formula one#formula one x reader#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fanfic#gracie abrams#mv1#smau#max verstappen smau#f1 smau#formula 1 smau#social media au#mv33
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