#always in weird little clusters like this
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conkers-thecosy · 1 year ago
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I know the general consensus is that I shouldn't share these because it gives the anon the fodder they're after, but like... can we stop now, please? Whoever you are, whatever I did to upset you, can you just stop this?
Thing is, I also don't understand in the slightest why anyone reads my nonsense or says such nice things about it, and there absolutely are better writers out there (I'm friends with loads of them!) but like?? That's not what I'm doing here??
I'm just trying to have fun, that's all. That's all. And what’s more, I'm having as much fun now as I was when only 2 people were reading my rubbish. I have a very stressful day job, and while I don't talk about it here, a very difficult day to day life. When I write, it's where I go to escape, you understand?
Now you've said some pretty terrible things here, so I have no reason to suppose you care in the slightest, but I just wanted you to know that as much as I wish you would move on and let me be, nothing you can say will make me stop writing, because I write for my own pleasure. Even if it's dreadful. Even if no one reads it.
You could just not read it, you know.
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angel---eater · 4 months ago
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Don't know why when I switched in I immediately felt like I was dying, but I guess we're back in the fuckin' building again.
#TT.txt#/ref. I mean I know exactly why and its just Mysterious Cluster B Bullshit#My partner had kind of a weird and rough time today and he ageslid and it was a brief but kind of scary mess. And I worry.#He's a whole adult and knows his own limits but I fret and worry and wring my faggoty little hands anyway because I love him and want#him to be okay always. He's really really important to me.#It's just.... excruciatingly hard being LDR for 12 years. I feel like I can't do much to help when he's in a rough spot and I'm over here.#I worry that I'm not the best at taking care of him when he's vulnerable like that too.#🧩 is the guy who looks after him usually because he's our Caretaker. I literally splintered him off just for that when we were kids#I'm getting better but I don't really have the confidence yet. That parts new to me.#Sounds weird maybe but y'know... plural. Shit can be sectioned off like this. But I'm usually the one being looked after by him.#And I'm the kind of person who isn't happy just taking. I want to give back very badly but I'm still... figuring out how to do that#in a healthy way.#I want to take care of and spoil my partners because they deserve it & it also makes me happy or at the very least settled and content.#Grounded I think is a better word. Yeah its grounding.#When take care of them sucessfully I'm also proving to myself that I'm capable of being okay. That I can trust myself too.#I just kind of really want to hold him right now :( when will the fucking borders let me see my husband again.#Sorry for tuning you in to self-therapy with Dirk but it's also my blog. Hi if you've read all this.#I love my pluralpolycule and I want to make sure they're all okay and not wanting for anything.#Legit all I want to fuckin' do is walk around with a goddamn tray of snacks for them all like everyone's housewife.#That'd be the life. I'd be so content doing that I'm so serious.#our t
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pucksandpower · 5 months ago
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That’s That Me, Espresso
Charles Leclerc x barista!Reader x Max Verstappen
Summary: Charles Leclerc and Max Verstappen seem determined to fight over the heart of their favorite barista … but soon they learn that sharing can be much more fulfilling
Warnings: 18+ content
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You tie the green apron around your waist, smoothing out the wrinkles as you get ready for another day behind the counter. Working as a barista in the paddock club is not where you imagined you’d end up, but it pays the bills. And there are some nice perks — like getting to see the drivers up close when they come in for their daily coffee fix.
Two drivers in particular have caught your attention recently: Charles Leclerc and Max Verstappen.
They started coming in separately a few weeks ago, always ordering the same drink — a latte with an extra shot of espresso for Charles and black coffee for Max. At first it was just polite small talk as you made their drinks, but gradually you’ve gotten to know them both a bit better.
Charles is charming, with an easy smile and a quick wit. He asks you about your day and remembers little details you’ve told him before. Max is more reserved, but has a dry sense of humor that catches you off guard and makes you laugh. You find yourself looking forward to their visits, wondering when you’ll see them next.
It’s another race weekend and the paddock club is buzzing with activity. You’re kept busy with a steady stream of drinks orders. A loud group of sponsors clusters around your counter, loudly debating team strategies. You handle their complicated orders, foaming milk and steaming pitchers like a pro.
As you hand off the last drink, you look up and see Charles walking in. He locks eyes with you and grins.
“Busy today, I see,” he says, sidling up to the counter.
“The usual?” You ask with a smile. Charles nods.
You turn to make his latte, hyperaware of his gaze following you. The espresso machine hisses as you pull his shots. You take your time with the milk, adjusting the froth just so.
“Here you go,” you say, placing the latte in front of him with a flourish. Your fingers brush as he takes it from you. Was that accidental or on purpose? His eyes crinkle at the corners.
“Looks perfect. You always make it just how I like it.” Charles takes a long sip, foam coating his upper lip. He swipes it away with his thumb. “Delicious. I don’t know how I’d get through race day without this.”
You feel your cheeks grow warm at the compliment. Before you can respond, Max walks up to the counter, focused on his phone. He glances up, does a slight double take at seeing Charles already there, then looks back at you.
“Morning,” he says briskly. “The usual, please.”
You nod and turn to make Max’s black coffee. As the coffee drips into the paper cup, you feel the awkward tension behind you. Charles and Max eye each other warily, a silent stand-off you don’t understand. You glance between them nervously as you hand Max his coffee.
“There you go. Enjoy!” Your voice comes out too bright and cheery.
Max takes the coffee without looking away from Charles. “Thanks,” he mutters. They keep staring at each other for a beat too long before Charles clears his throat.
“Well, I should get going. See you around,” he says lightly, with a meaningful look at you.
You nod, perplexed. As soon as Charles is out the door, Max seems to relax.
“So how’s your morning been so far?” He asks, taking a sip of coffee.
You make polite small talk, but your mind keeps going back to the weird tension between him and Charles. What was all that about?
The rest of the day flies by in a blur of foamed milk and espresso. Before you know it, it’s nearly closing time. You’re wiping down the counters when you hear footsteps approach. You look up to see both Charles and Max walking toward you, stopping short when they notice each other.
“You again?” Max frowns at Charles. “Does Ferrari not have their own coffee?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” Charles shoots back. He turns to you with an easy grin that doesn’t reach his eyes. “The usual, please?”
You nod uncertainly and set to work making their drinks on autopilot, feeling the heavy weight of them watching your every move. The silence hangs heavy in the air. You can feel the animosity rolling off them in waves.
You finish the drinks and set them on the counter. “Here you go.”
Neither makes a move to take their coffee. The tension coils tighter. You glance between them nervously.
Finally Max turns to Charles. “Why do you keep coming here for coffee? Don’t tell me it’s for the scintillating conversation.”
Charles bristles. “Why do you care where I get my coffee? Unless ...” His eyes narrow. “Are you trying to keep me away from something? Or should I say, someone?”
You freeze. Are they talking about you?
Max scoffs. “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m just trying to get my daily coffee in peace.”
“Oh really? You seem to be going out of your way when you could easily get coffee from Red Bull hospitality. Admit it, there’s another reason you keep coming here.” Charles crosses his arms.
“I could say the same about you! Don’t think I haven’t noticed you flirting with her every time you’re in here.”
You nearly drop the rag in your hand. Heat floods your cheeks. They are talking about you.
Charles laughs sharply. “Look who’s talking! The man who makes eyes at her whenever you think I’m not looking.”
“Makes eyes-” Max sputters. “You’re delusional.”
“No, you’re just blind. Anyone can see she likes me better.”
“As if! She obviously prefers me over some pretty boy.”
They’re nearly nose to nose now, fists clenched at their sides. You stand frozen behind the counter, heart hammering in your chest. This can’t be happening.
“Why don’t we let her decide then?” Charles turns to you. “What do you say? Want to settle this once and for all?”
Max whips his head toward you eagerly. You open your mouth but no words come out.
Charles barrels on. “You don’t have to say it out loud. I already know the answer.” He winks at you.
Max makes a disgusted noise. “Don’t listen to him. He’s so full of himself.”
“Better than being full of overhyped energy drinks and bad decisions like you!” Charles shoves Max’s shoulder.
A flicker of rage passes over Max’s face. He shoves back, hard. “Watch yourself, Leclerc.”
Charles stumbles into the counter, jostling your arm. You cry out as the steaming pitcher of milk spills down the front of your apron. Pain scalds your skin. You inhale sharply as the hot milk soaks through your shirt.
Charles grabs a damp dish towel and presses it to your arm. “Let me see.”
You lift the cloth with a wince. An angry red welt is already rising along your forearm.
“That looks bad,” Charles murmurs. “You should get it treated properly.”
Max edges closer, brows drawn together. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry-”
“She needs medical attention,” Charles interrupts. He takes your elbow gingerly. “Come on, I’ll take you to the medical center.”
Max puts a hand on your other arm. “No, I’ll take her. This is my fault.”
Charles tugs you toward him. “Back off, Verstappen. I’ve got this.”
You stumble between them as they play tug-of-war with your arms.
“Stop it!” You cry, wrenching away. They freeze. “You can both take me or I’ll go myself. But I am not a rope in a game of Red Bull versus Ferrari.”
Charles and Max have the decency to look ashamed.
“Of course, sorry,” Charles says quickly. “We’ll take you together.”
Max nods, biting his lip. You follow them from the paddock club to the medical center, cradling your arm. Mercifully they stay silent, the fight drained from them for now.
The medic clucks over your injury, applying a cooling gel and clean bandages. You sag in relief as the medicine soothes the burning. Charles and Max hover anxiously until the medic shoos them away.
“All done,” she announces. “Keep it clean and covered. Should heal in a few days.”
“Thank you.” You slide off the exam table, flexing your freshly wrapped arm.
Charles jumps up immediately. “How’s it feeling now?”
“Much better, thanks.” You offer him a small smile.
Max steps forward. “I’m really sorry about this. Let me make it up to you — can I take you to dinner tonight?”
Charles makes a strangled noise. “You’ve done enough, don’t you think?” He turns to you, expression earnest. “Please, allow me to take you to dinner instead. It’s the least I can do after you got hurt.”
You stare between them incredulously. Are they serious?
“Um, I don’t think-”
“Come on, what do you say?” Max presses. “Dinner, just the two of us.”
Charles crosses his arms. “Don’t listen to him. Let me take you out.”
“You already ruined her day,” Max snaps. “I’m not letting you mess up her evening too.”
Charles bristles. “If anyone ruined it, you did by shoving me into her!”
“I wouldn’t have shoved you if you weren’t being an annoying prick.”
“Obstinate show off!”
“Insecure brat!”
“Enough!” You yell. They fall silent. “This is absurd. You’re both acting like children.”
Charles scuffs his shoe. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Max nods, properly chastised. “Me too. That was stupid.”
You take a deep breath. “If you really want to make it up to me, we’ll do this: you can both take me to dinner. Together. To apologize. Take it or leave it.”
They share an uneasy look but don’t argue. You nod firmly.
“Good. I’ll be outside the paddock club after the race. Come get me then.” You fix them with a stern gaze. “And I expect you to be on your best behavior tonight. No fighting, no bickering. Got it?”
“Got it,” they mumble.
“See you tonight then.” With as much dignity as you can muster, you turn and sweep out of the medical center. You feel their eyes following you as the doors swing shut.
Your breath leaves in a whoosh when you’re alone again. What did you just get yourself into? A tense conciliatory dinner with two drivers who happen to hate each other? This night can only end in disaster.
But a small part of you tingles with excitement at the thought of having their undivided attention, if only for an evening. You push the feeling away. Don’t be foolish. This is just about apologizing for the coffee incident. Nothing more.
***
After the race, you freshen up and change into a flowy summer dress. As you apply a final coat of lipstick, nerves flutter in your stomach. This dinner will either go surprisingly well or be a total disaster.
With Charles and Max, it’s anyone’s guess.
Your pulse picks up when you exit the paddock club to see Charles and Max waiting, wearing nice button downs and trading murderous looks.
But as soon as they notice you, their faces morph into charming smiles. Charles steps forward first, eyes bright.
“You look beautiful,” he says, kissing your cheek in greeting. The press of his lips sends a thrill through you despite yourself.
Max moves closer, expression soft. “That dress is perfect on you.”
You thank them, trying not to blush. Max gestures to the row of sleek sports cars. “Shall we?”
Charles frowns. “She should ride with me, I asked her to dinner first.”
Max scoffs. “Only because you swooped in when you saw I was going to.”
“As if! I was being a gentleman, unlike you.”
They descend into bickering while you stand there awkwardly. Finally you interject.
“Or here’s a thought — how about we take an Uber together?”
Charles and Max stop arguing, properly chastised. “Of course, good idea,” Charles says smoothly.
You all pile into the back of the Uber, you wedged between them. Their thighs press against yours, muscular and distracting. Get it together, you scold yourself. This is just an apology dinner.
At the restaurant, Max holds your chair out while Charles arranges your napkin on your lap. Their efforts to dote on you would be sweet if they weren’t also trying to outdo each other. You settle in for an interesting night.
A waiter appears to take your order. Charles recommends the osso buco. Max argues the sea bass is better. You go for the risotto to avoid playing favorites.
When the food arrives, Charles insists on serving you first. “Try this, the sauce is exquisite,” he purrs, holding a forkful to your lips.
You let him feed you, hyperaware of Max watching hawkishly. “Delicious, thank you.”
Not to be outdone, Max spears a bite of his fish. “Here, you have to taste this.” He brings the fork to your mouth. You oblige, cheeks burning.
This continues through the whole meal. Charles and Max take turns hand feeding you, vying for your attention. Under different circumstances it would feel romantic, but their competitive edge ruins the mood.
Still, you have to admit the food is incredible. Charles was right about the osso buco. When your risotto is gone, he happily shares his plate. Max pushes his closer too, until you’re stuffed on bites of their entrees.
For dessert they order chocolate soufflé to share. Two forks battle for the privilege of feeding you. You finally snatch the dish between you, laughing.
“I think I can manage on my own now, thanks.”
Charles sits back with a rueful smile. “Sorry, got a bit carried away there.”
“We just want you to enjoy the food,” Max adds a touch sheepishly.
You take a bite and sigh blissfully. “Mission accomplished, trust me.”
Despite their antics, you’re surprised to realize you’re having a nice time. When Charles and Max aren’t competing over you, they’re charming dinner companions, trading funny racing stories and debating controversial penalties. You find yourself relaxing, giggling often at their witty banter.
Over digestifs, the mood shifts. The low lighting makes Charles’ gaze smolder. Max’s hand brushes your knee under the table. You shift, heart rate kicking up.
The bill comes and Charles snags it before Max can react. “Please, allow me.”
You start to protest but Max speaks up. “I guess I’ll get the next one then.”
The implication makes your pulse flutter. Next one?
Outside the restaurant, Charles offers his arm. “Let’s go somewhere more private to continue the evening.” His eyes glitter with promise.
You hesitate, feeling suddenly shy. Max steps closer.
“Don’t listen to him, he just wants you alone. Come out with me instead and I’ll show you a good time.”
He waggles his eyebrows. You blush fiercely as their suggestive stares make you squirm.
Charles drops your arm, scowling. “Back off, Verstappen. She’s coming with me.”
“She can make her own choices,” Max retorts. “But she’d clearly have more fun with me.”
Their flirting turns sour as they descend into bickering again. You clench your fists, frustration bubbling over.
“Enough!” You burst out. “I’m done being fought over like a trophy.”
Charles and Max stop arguing, looking properly scolded. You take a deep breath.
“My hotel is just around the corner. You’re both welcome to join me for a nightcap. But you need to stop this childish fighting or you can go back to your own rooms.”
They share an uneasy glance, then nod. “You’re right, sorry about that,” Charles says. “Lead the way.”
Max just gestures for you to walk ahead. You turn towards your hotel, nerves and anticipation swirling. A nightcap is harmless, you tell yourself. You’re just putting your foot down about their behavior.
At the hotel bar, you order a round of drinks and claim a small corner booth. Charles and Max slide in on either side of you. Their thighs press against yours under the tiny table.
You take a fortifying sip of your cocktail. “Okay look, tonight has been … fun, surprisingly. But the constant competing over me has to stop.”
You level them with your most serious gaze. They have the grace to look embarrassed.
“You’re right, that wasn’t fair to you,” Charles says earnestly. “I got carried away trying to, I don’t know, impress you, I guess. I’ll be more respectful from now on.”
Max clears his throat. “Yeah, me too. Didn’t mean to make you feel like a prize. I just ...” He ducks his head. “Really wanted you to like me.”
Your breath catches at the endearing admission. You place a hand over Max’s where it rests on his thigh. “I do like you. Both of you. When you’re not acting like idiots.”
Charles covers your other hand, expression softening. “I like you too. So much.”
Warmth spreads through you at their words. For a moment, you all just smile at each other, the atmosphere shifting into something … intimate.
The air suddenly feels charged with possibility. You wet your lips nervously. Two sets of eyes track the movement.
Charles moves his thumb in a slow sweep over the back of your hand, stirring up butterflies. “I’d really like to kiss you right now,” he murmurs. “If that’s okay.”
Your heartbeat stutters. You glance at Max. His eyes are dark, lips parted. Waiting for your answer.
You close the distance to Charles in response, pressing your mouth to his. He makes a soft sound and cups your jaw, kissing you back eagerly. His lips are soft and seeking.
When you part for air, Max clears his throat. “I believe you said no more competing tonight. So it’s my turn now.”
Before you can react, he captures your lips in a searing kiss. He kisses differently than Charles, more urgently, with the promise of heat. You grasp his shoulders to stay grounded.
You break away gasping. The three of you stare at each other, wide eyed and flushed.
Charles recovers first. “Why don’t we take this upstairs?” His expression leaves no doubt as to his meaning.
A spike of want goes through you. But uncertainty flickers too. Are you really ready for … all that? With both of them?
Sensing your hesitation, Max squeezes your hand. “Or we could just keep talking, if you’d prefer?” His tone is serious despite the desire in his eyes. “No pressure, okay?”
Charles nods, looking equally willing to follow your lead. You smile, grateful for their patience. As tempting as it is to fall into bed together, that feels rushed.
“Why don’t we have one more drink upstairs and see where things go?” You suggest.
“I’d love that,” Charles says.
Max signals the waiter for your tab. “Your room or one of ours?”
You laugh at his eagerness. “Mine. I have the key.”
***
In the elevator up to your hotel room, the air feels charged with possibility. Charles pins you to the wall, nuzzling your neck in a way that makes you shiver. Max crowds behind you, hands spanning your waist. You feel surrounded, but also safe between them.
At your door, Charles steals one more heated kiss before you unlock it. His eyes are dark with want when he pulls back. “I’ve been wanting to do that all night.”
Max’s breath tickles your ear. “My turn now.” His low voice sends desire swirling through you.
You lead them inside, nerves and excitement making you giddy. Max pulls you into his arms immediately, kissing you deeply. Charles comes up behind you, trailing kisses down your neck in tandem with Max’s exploring tongue. You clutch their shirts, anchored between them.
When you part for air, Charles suggests opening a bottle of wine from the minibar. You nod, needing to steady your spinning head.
While Charles uncorks a bottle of red, Max comes up behind you, nuzzling your hair. “That dress looks amazing on you, but I bet it would look even better on the floor,” he murmurs suggestively.
You blush even as arousal stirs. But Charles interrupts before you can respond.
“Don’t be crude, Max,” he chides, handing you a glass of wine. His fingers linger on yours. “She deserves to be treated with respect.”
Max rolls his eyes. “I was complimenting her, not being crude.”
“It came off as objectifying. I know how to properly appreciate a woman.” Charles strokes your arm lightly, eyes smoldering.
Here we go again, you think. But Max just laughs.
“Oh it’s on now, Leclerc. We’ll see who can make her feel more … appreciated.” He waggles his eyebrows.
You nearly choke on your wine. “Um, I’m not sure this competition is necessary-”
“Shh, just relax, mon amour. Let us take care of you.” Charles silences you with a deep kiss, stealing your breath.
Max comes up behind you, trailing hot kisses over your exposed shoulders. His hands find your waist, pulling you back against him.
You’re surrounded by them, enveloped in wandering hands and seeking mouths. It’s overwhelming but intoxicating. You let yourself get lost in the sensations.
Charles lavishes attention on your neck, hitting sensitive spots that make you shiver. When he finds one that makes you moan, Max focuses on the same area until your knees go weak.
They maneuver you to the bed, shedding jackets and shoes along the way. Charles presses you back into the pillows, kissing you deeply as his fingers trail up your leg, rucking your dress higher.
Max pushes himself between your parted thighs, kissing along your inner leg. You grasp their hair, anchoring yourself.
“You’re both trying to kill me, I swear,” you gasp out.
Charles smiles against your neck. “On the contrary, we’re trying to make you feel as alive as possible.”
As if to prove it, Max hitches one of your legs over his shoulder and kisses along your inner thigh, making you squirm.
“Tell me what you want, cherié. I’m yours tonight,” Charles breathes in your ear.
You drag him down for a messy kiss. He groans as you press up into him.
Max works his way higher until his breath ghosts over your core. Your whole body tightens in anticipation.
“Can I taste you?” His voice is rough with need. “I want to make you feel so good, lekker ding.”
You nod frantically and he hooks his fingers under your underwear, sliding them off. The first touch of his tongue makes you cry out.
Charles swallows the sound, kissing you deeply. “That’s it, let go. We’ve got you.”
Overwhelmed by sensations, you can only clutch their hair and let yourself be carried away on waves of pleasure.
You lose track of time, of everything beyond their mouths and hands worshipping every inch of you. When Max finally has you teetering on the edge, he pulls back right before you tip over.
“Not yet. I want you to come with me inside you.”
The primal promise sends a bolt of need through you. Charles props himself up, pupils blown wide. “God, that’s hot.” His erection presses insistently against your hip. “But condoms first. I’ll grab some.”
While he digs through his wallet, Max strips you both bare. You run appreciative hands over his chiseled physique, anticipating having him inside you. But uncertainty flickers too.
“Have you … done this before?” You ask hesitantly. “With another guy, I mean?”
Max stills. “I haven’t. Have you?” At your head shake, he relaxes. “We’ll figure it out together.”
Reassured, you pull him down for a messy kiss. Charles rejoins you on the bed, rolling a condom onto Max.
“All set.” He kisses you lingeringly. “If you want to stop at any point, just say the word.”
You smile at his caretaking. “I’ll be vocal if I need you to stop or slow down, don’t worry.”
Max lines himself up at your entrance, holding your gaze. “You ready?”
At your eager nod, he pushes inside you in one long stroke. You arch up with a cry at the delicious stretch of him filling you so perfectly.
Charles lavishes kisses over your face and neck murmuring praise. “That’s it, you’re doing so well. You look incredible like this, taking him so beautifully.”
Max builds a steady rhythm, fucking into you almost leisurely, stoking the fire higher. “You feel incredible, so hot and tight around me.” He hits a spot that has you seeing stars.
Charles sheds his own clothes and rolls on a condom, eyes fixed on where you’re joined. “You two are so fucking gorgeous together. Makes me want a turn.”
“Yes, please,” you gasp out. You need them both tonight.
Max slows to shallow pumps, letting Charles take his place between your legs. He pushes in slowly and your body opens for him, welcoming the new stretch.
Charles curses breathlessly at your tight heat engulfing him. “You’re unbelievable. I could stay buried in you forever.”
He sets a steady pace while Max kisses you deeply, swallowing your moans. Having them both lavish you with such dedicated attention pushes you close to the edge again.
“Want to come with you around me,” Charles pants out. “Can I make you come, ma belle?”
“Yes, please, I’m so close-” you cry out as he reaches between you to stroke your clit.
The dual sensations send you hurtling over the edge with a sharp cry. Your inner walls pulse around Charles, pulling him over with you.
You cling to each other, breathing hard as you come down. Charles presses soft kisses over your face while Max smoothes back your hair.
“You’re incredible. How was that?” Charles asks gently once he catches his breath.
You huff out a giddy laugh. “Absolutely amazing.” You cup his cheek. “Both of you.”
Max smiles and kisses you sweetly. “I’m not done with you yet tonight.”
Anticipation sparks through you again. “Oh really?”
He licks his lips. “I want another taste of dessert.”
Charles nips your ear playfully. “And I want a round two with you. We’re just getting started.”
The promise in their heated looks makes your spent body begin to reawaken. You stretch like a cat between them.
“Well then, what are you waiting for?”
They pounce on you eagerly, hands and mouths roaming your sensitised skin. You surrender to their passionate attentions, mind blissfully blank of everything but pleasure.
Later, they lay you between them, bodies spent and entwined. Sleep tugs at the edges of your sated mind.
Charles nuzzles your shoulder. “Rest now, mon ange. You were perfect.”
Max pulls the blankets over you and presses a kiss to your hair. “We’re right here with you.”
Wrapped securely in their arms, you let yourself drift off, a contented smile on your face. Tonight was exactly what you needed — no more fighting or competing, just pure connection.
As you fall asleep cocooned between your two gorgeous drivers, you can’t imagine a more satisfying way to end the craziest day of your life.
***
The morning after the blissful night with Charles and Max, you wake up alone in tangled sheets. For a moment you wonder if it was just a dream. Then you spot a note on the bedside table.
Had early commitments but can’t stop thinking about you. See you at the paddock club soon - C & M
You grin and fall back against the pillows. Last night definitely happened. And based on that note, they’re already eager for a repeat. Happiness bubbles up in you.
Over the next few days, you text constantly with Charles and Max. They check on how you’re feeling (sore but satiated) and send increasingly flirty selfies that make you blush. The texts grow more suggestive as the next race weekend nears.
Can’t wait to get my hands on you again. I’ll sneak you off somewhere the minute I see you
I call dibs on stealing her away this time! We have some unfinished business
You smile at your phone, butterflies taking flight. You have a feeling this race weekend will be anything but routine.
Friday morning you show up early to prep the paddock club cafe. As the bustle of the weekend ramps up outside, your pulse quickens wondering if you’ll see Charles or Max first.
A gaggle of mechanics come in, followed by Fred Vasseur and Toto Wolff bickering over coffees. No sign of your drivers yet.
Finally Charles saunters in, sweaty from practice and still in his red race suit. His face lights up when he sees you.
“There’s my gorgeous girl.” He leans across the counter for a swift, burning kiss. “I missed you.”
You blush fiercely as hoots and whistles sound from the patrons. Charles just winks.
“The usual?” You ask, ducking to hide your glowing cheeks.
“Please. I need my favorite barista’s coffee to get through the day.”
You can feel his eyes on you as you work, warm and admiring. It makes your skin tingle.
As Charles collects his coffee, he murmurs low in your ear, “Dinner tonight? I want you all to myself.”
His steely gaze leaves no doubt as to his intentions. You shiver and nod eagerly.
“Here?”
“I was thinking your hotel bed again ...” His fingers graze your wrist suggestively.
Your breath catches. Before you can respond, Max strides up to the counter.
“Morning.” He gives Charles an unreadable look then smiles at you. “I’ll take my usual.”
He watches you work with a little smile playing about his lips, occasionally trading glances with Charles. They seem … chummy, almost conspiratorial.
You hand Max his coffee, brow arched. “Why do I feel like I’m missing something with you two?”
Max grins. “Let’s just say Charles and I … bonded recently over a mutual interest.” His meaningful look makes your cheeks flame.
“Oh really now?” You ask coyly.
“Really.” Charles slings an arm around Max’s shoulders. “We’ve discovered some shared enthusiasms lately.”
They smirk at each other and you have to fan yourself. If this new camaraderie is the result of your tryst, you heartily approve.
Over the rest of Friday you spot Charles and Max hanging out often, laughing together. The other drivers eye them curiously but they just share secret smiles.
In the media pen after practice, a reporter asks about their burgeoning bromance.
“I guess you could say we recently discovered some common ground that brought us closer,” Charles says vaguely.
Beside him, Max shrugs. “Let’s just say our relationship has … matured lately.”
They grin at the innuendo. You nearly spit out your drink watching the live feed, their slyness making you squirm. So much for discretion.
As promised, Charles takes you to dinner that night. In the car, he pulls you across the console for a heated kiss.
“Thought about doing this all day,” he growls against your lips.
At your hotel, clothes are hastily shed as you fall into bed together. Charles takes you apart ruthlessly, until you’re trembling and spent beneath him.
After, he gathers you close, nuzzling your hair. “I don’t know what hold you have over me, but I can’t get enough.”
You smile and kiss him lazily. “Right back at you. I could get used to this.”
Charles’ eyes darken. “Speaking of, Max was suggesting we all get together again before the race ...”
Tomorrow night is wide open in your schedule.
***
The next day buzzes by until Charles and Max finish their media duties. They saunter into the paddock club wearing matching smirks.
“Time for that break you promised us,” Max says, crowding you against the counter.
Charles nips your ear. “We’ll make it worth your while.” His hot promise makes you instantly pliant.
They lead you outside hand in hand, sneaking glances around until you reach the Ferrari motorhome. Inside Charles’ driver’s room, he pins you to the leather couch, kissing you ravenously.
Clothes melt away between heated kisses and grasping hands. Soon you’re naked on the couch, framed by Charles and Max’s toned bodies.
Charles trails kisses down between your breasts, laving his tongue over a nipple until you arch up with a cry.
“Sensitive here I see,” he murmurs smugly before redirecting his attention. You grasp his messy waves, overwhelmed.
Max slides a hand up your inner thigh, eyes blazing when he discovers you bare. “So wet already. I think she likes us teasing her, Charles.”
A thick finger slides through your folds and you gasp out his name. Chuckling darkly, Max repeats the motion until you’re rocking your hips desperately.
“Please … need you ...” you whimper.
He smirks. “How can I deny such a sweet request?”
Charles sits back to enjoy the show as Max lines up at your entrance. He pushes in slowly, groaning as your body opens to welcome his thick length. You clutch his shoulders, overwhelmed.
“Fuck, feel so perfect around me,” he grits out through clenched teeth, seated fully inside you. “You good?”
You nod frantically. No matter how many times you come together, that first blissful stretch when he fills you never gets old.
Charles strokes himself lazily, eyes fixed on where you’re joined. “God, that’s hot to watch. Starting to think we should share you more often if this is what I get to see.”
Max builds a relentless rhythm, spurred on by Charles’ avid stare. You grasp the leather couch, crying out with every deep stroke nudging that sweet spot inside.
“Look at those pretty tits bounce while you fuck her,” Charles rasps out. “You close, ma belle? I want to watch you come undone around him.”
That heated plea sends you over, clenching on Max’s length as pleasure crashes over you. He fucks you through it before chasing his own high.
“Want to feel you come in me,” you gasp out.
Groaning your name, Max pulls you tight and shudders his release inside you. He collapses forward, breathing ragged.
“Holy fuck that was intense,” he mutters, kissing you sloppily. You cling together, spent and grinning.
Until Charles clears his throat loudly. “Looked like fun but I believe you promised to share, Max.”
Unfurling from you, Max laughs. “All yours, mate. But only after I get one more taste.”
To your delight, he seals his lips over your swollen clit without warning, sucking firmly. The stimulation on your over-sensitized nerves straddles the line between pleasure and pain until you’re thrashing and begging.
Finally Max releases you with one last lick and a wolfish grin. “Had to have another hit of that sweetness.”
You can only whimper as Charles immediately replaces him between your legs. He kisses up the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, eyes blazing.
“Please tell me you have another round in you, cherié. Because watching that made me very eager to play.”
As he pushes inside you in one long stroke, you clutch his back deliriously. Charles wastes no time building a ruthless rhythm, spurred on by watching you fall apart with Max. His thick length drags along your sensitive inner walls, wringing gasps and cries from you with every snap of his hips.
“That’s it, sing for me,” he grits out, angling to nudge against that sweet spot inside you. “Want the whole paddock to hear how good I can make you feel.”
You grasp his biceps, feeling his muscles flex powerfully with each pounding stroke. The lewd sound of skin slapping skin echoes through the room.
Charles snakes a hand between you, finding your throbbing clit and stroking in time with his deep thrusts. The sensations make you see stars, still so sensitive from Max’s attentions.
“Oh god, right there,” you sob, teetering dangerously on the edge again. “Gonna come ...”
“Look at me,” Charles commands sharply. You drag your eyes open to meet his burning gaze. “Come for me now.”
On cue your body seizes up, inner walls clamping down hard as a shockwave of pleasure crashes through you. You cry out Charles’ name hoarsely, barely hearing his own bitten off groan as he follows you over the edge.
Collapsing forward, Charles peppers your face with tender kisses as you cling together, panting through the aftershocks.
“Magnificent as always, mon amour,” he murmurs, nuzzling into your neck.
You comb lazy fingers through his hair, body coursing with endorphins. “Mmm. Pretty sure you two are going to kill me with great sex at this point, but I can’t bring myself to complain.”
Max’s laughter warms your skin as he slides up behind you. He trails a hand down your side, eyes glinting. “Oh we’re nowhere close to done with you yet ...”
2K notes · View notes
murdrdocs · 8 months ago
Text
venus fly
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description. the pollen that sprayed in LUKE CASTELLAN's face earlier this morning has some really weird effects. not that he's complaining.
a continuation of this drabble
includes. sex pollen SUGGESTIVE CONTENT 18+, accidental drugging, loser!luke, best friend!reader, demeter!reader, implied oral (f and m receiving), slightly perv!luke, aftercare almost nonexistent
wc: 4.5k+
a/n: the long awaited sex pollen fic. title from venus fly by grimes. no explicit smut ahead. artwork credit unknown.
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Your shirt is fitting you really well. 
Your lips are moving, you’re saying something to Luke, he assumes it’s likely at least a little bit important, but he can only focus on how well your shirt is fitting. 
Tight enough over your bust—Luke figures you’re wearing a sports bra for capture the flag today since he sees no bra lines, but the bra creates a nice shape for your tits, so he doesn’t need the lines to entertain him. 
“Did you get a new shirt?”
You stop whatever you were saying to look down at your chest. You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest as you fix Luke with a look of disappointment. 
“Wha–? It’s an older one. All of my others were dirty.” Your bosom is covered, but Luke is still staring. It’s like he cannot peel his eyes away. Though, he hasn’t tried. At least, not until you scold him. 
“Will you stop ogling me while I’m trying to talk to you?” 
His reply is earnest. “Wait, shit, yeah. ‘m sorry I don't know what's going on…” 
You stare at him, your eyebrows furrowed and your lips parted. Luke can’t help but fix his eyes there next. You’re wearing chapstick, or maybe lip gloss. Something spread over your lips that creates a nice sheen that makes him want to lick it off like icing on a treat. 
“It’s okay …” Your words aren’t that convincing but you drop your arms and start speaking again. This time, Luke takes in at least a dozen words. 
Really, he should have known what was wrong with him. The same way he should have known that eventually, his insistent nosiness would come back to bite him in the rear. 
You’d always warned him of such, telling him that “it’s charming until it’s not”, when you would boot him out of the greenhouse. (Truthfully, Luke had codependency issues but if he never really admitted it to himself, then he wouldn’t have to admit it to you, either.)
You were spending more time in the greenhouse lately. Which has never been a problem for Luke. But your newest project, something completely unknown to Luke as it was apparently a Demeter kid only project, was taking away his time with you. You could barely spare a half hour to go by the lake. You traded chores with one of your siblings for more time in the greenhouse, leaving Luke to work with someone not nearly as entertaining as you. 
The only time he got to really see you was early in the morning and late at night. And if he was losing his time to something else—or, gods forbid, someone else—he wanted to know what it was. 
So right when you were leaving the greenhouse early that morning, Luke snuck in after you. He searched around, trying to find evidence of you anywhere, and when he did find it, he found his demise there, too.
Sitting next to your favorite pen was a potted plant. It resembled a venus fly trap, but immensely bigger. There were a cluster of them, some with large flowers growing out of the opened mouths. Luke stupidly had the urge to provoke the plant, driven by the desire to see them in action. 
He took your favorite pen, and gently stuck it inside of the mouth. 
When a puff of yellow smoke hit him square in the face, he hadn’t thought much of it. 
When he stumbled out of the greenhouse with a fog in his head and dizziness, he thought it to be a single side effect. 
When he started to feel warmer than usual, he thought it to be an effect of the insistent summer heat. 
It’s not until he’s waking up on the ground that he really begins to worry. 
His eyes open and he is immediately greeted with the sun attempting to blind him. He squints and raises a hand over his face, shielding both the sun and whoever stands over him. 
When they speak, he doesn’t need his eyes to tell who he is joined by. 
“Jesus, Castellan, if you didn’t scare the shit outta me just now I would be bragging about beating you.” 
Luke groans and rolls onto his side. He’s still wearing his battle armor over his clothes and he suddenly feels uncomfortable, like everything has been made wrong or maybe like he has outgrown them. His camp shirt is too tight against his body, pressing the sweat back into his skin and not allowing for any breathing room. His shorts feel awkward in the crotch, as do his briefs. And his shoes are suffocating his feet. 
There is nothing he wants more in this moment than to peel the armor and clothes off of his body and run down to the water. But he doesn’t know if the game has ended yet, nor does he know how long he has been out. 
There are many unanswered questions he has, but the first one he starts with is, “Why are you here?” 
He hears you scoff and knows you have rolled your eyes. 
“We were sparring and you just passed out. I wasn’t just going to leave you here.” 
He finally looks at you. His eyesight has readjusted to the light from the star above, so it stings just a bit less when he peers one eye open. 
You add on, “I didn’t know if you had spontaneously died or something! And now that I know you’re fine…” You bend down and grab your helmet, situating it back on your head and standing at attention over Luke. 
He needs to stand. The last thing he remembers is fighting you and he's never lost a fight to you. In his mind, he hasn’t surrendered, and you haven’t defeated him, so he needs to stand. 
He tries to, he really does, but his knees get weak and as soon as he’s up, his head spins and he’s right back down. 
You swear just before your knees are hitting the earth and you’re kneeling beside him. 
Luke can feel you pressing the back of your hand against his forehead, he can hear you asking him a few questions, he can see your wide eyes staring into his heavy ones, but he can’t respond. He can’t do anything but worry about the bile rising in his throat, or focus on the shining water just behind you. 
He doesn’t realize that he has begun moving until the bottom of his pants feel heavy with the weight of water. 
When he’s in to his thighs, he collapses and lets the ripples wash over his body. 
You don’t follow him until after him for a few moments, and when you do, you stand still at the shoreline. You let Luke soak the heat and sweat off of his skin as best as the circumstances allow, and you only speak to him once he’s standing right in front of you in soaked clothes and wet armor. 
“What’d you take?” 
At first, he’s not playing dumb. It just takes a moment for your words to plant in his mind. Then he plays dumb. 
“Take? I don’t know what you mean.”
You don’t entertain his ditziness and instead begin making your case. 
“You’re clearly on something, Luke. You’re sweating even though it’s as cool as it usually is. Your pupils are wide and your eyes go from restless to barely open. You keep fidgeting and every few minutes you twitch. And you’re standing here, talking to me, instead of helping the red team secure another win.” 
Luke hadn’t noticed most of his symptoms. It’s not like he can notice anything other than the thoughts in his mind, especially when they give him images of your tits bouncing in his face and audible hallucinations of what you would sound like moaning his name. 
He decides then and there that capture the flag doesn’t matter. Not when he has what he wants, the true glory, right in front of him. 
He heard you, he processed your words, but the sight of your lips distracts him once more and prevents him from instantly responding. He stares instead, watching your mouth through lazy blinks. 
He doesn’t even consider responding until you tut. 
“If you don’t want to tell me, then that’s fine. I’ll go get Maria L to take care of you then.” 
Luke's eyes widen. Maria L is an excellent healer but she also has a pestering crush on Luke, one that encourages her to touch Luke with grazes that border on harassment and lack any professionalism. 
“No! Not her.” Luke would feel bad about his reaction to the girls name if he didn’t have such a one track mind. 
Your eyebrows raise to tell him to continue. He does so begrudgingly. 
He picks at his fingernails and his cuticles until dead skin peels back to reveal blood. But the sting on his thumb doesn’t compare to the dull pain residing in his groin. 
He knows that admitting the truth to you would open the possibility of criticism. His current … illness aside, you would never let him live down the day his nosiness actually reaped consequences. He briefly considers accepting defeat, walking away with his tail tucked between his legs, and taking control of the growing boner on his own. 
He might be generally inexperienced in these situations, but even he knows that his own fist wouldn’t compare to even the slightest bit of attention from you. 
He opens his mouth. “I went in the greenhouse.” 
Your eyes widen as if Luke had confessed to committing a cardinal sin, and it’s then that Luke begins to really worry about himself.
“Did you …?” You don’t even have to finish your sentence before he nods. “Luke! You fucking-“
Not really in the mood for your chastising, Luke holds one hand up.  He is able to silence you for only a second before you’re slapping his hand away. You’re yelling at him, both for trying to rudely shut you up, and for doing the one thing you told him not to do. 
He sits and listens, waiting not-so-patiently for you to tire yourself out. He thought that point would come sooner than it does, but he’s sure that at least two minutes have passed and you’re showing no signs of stopping. 
He rolls his eyes, he furrows his eyebrows, and he tries to discreetly adjust the boner in his cargos, but according to you, Luke has never been discreet a day in his life. He has never believed in your so-called ability to see right through him until your eyes pointedly drift to his crotch with his hand still attached to it. 
Your insistent rambling ends unfinished. You blink, you don’t say anything. And then:
“Oh.”
At this point, he doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything. You fill the silence for him. 
“Oh, Luke. I told you not to go in there because …”
His eyebrows lift. “Because what?” 
You take a breath. “The plant, the Venus Fly, the pollen is an aphrodisiac.”
Luke knows what an aphrodisiac is, he isn’t dumb, but he still asks for clarification. And when you explain, he asks you to dumb it down. Even then, he blinks at you. Because you were right. His nosiness caused this. 
He’s considering pitying himself whenever you suggest the one proposed solution, the only solution the Demeter and Apollo kids have been workshopping together ever since acquiring the plant from another kid's quest. 
And when your solution comes, Luke determines that there is no way he could pity himself whenever he is in the position he’s been dreaming of for literal years.
He might not have envisioned this particular scenario, as his fantasies usually entailed the two of you alone in a bed not at Camp Half-Blood. But something about this makes him enjoy it more. Out in nature, in the open with many possibilities of being caught surrounding you both. His lips on yours, his lips surrounding yours, as he kisses you messily. 
There is something perverse about the idea of getting to fuck you out in the open, gods willing. He didn’t think it was something he would be into, but it’s all he can think about when he’s rutting against you. 
He breathes you in. “I’ve …” he takes a moment, rubbing his stiff cock against your crotch once more. He groans as he speaks. “I’ve been thinking about this for so long.” 
You hum, your hands fisting the part of the back of Luke’s shirt that isn’t covered by his armor. 
“Luke,” you start and your voice is already full of hesitance. Luke isn’t sure he wants to hear what you have to say, but he knows it would be wrong not to. He busies himself with kissing your neck and under your jaw. 
“It’s the pollen talking,” you tell him. “You’re not yourself. You’re basica-“ He bites down onto where he can feel your pulse thrumming under your skin. You gasp, loud and broken, before continuing. “You’re basically drugged.” 
Somewhere deep down Luke knows that there’s logic in your statement, there usually is logic in your statements, besides during those times where you would say whatever came to your mind in the late hours of the night. But he doesn’t care, logic be damned. 
He knows that he’s felt this way—or at least in the range of this way—for a while now. The pollen has just given him the confidence to act on his desires. 
While the pollen has given him confidence, it hasn’t given him experience. 
He sloppily kisses along your neck and jaw, not necessarily knowing what he’s doing but he knows he’s expected to suck at one point, so he does. He just wants to please. 
You don’t react much to his lips on your skin, so he lifts a hand and slides it under your shirt and armor. The chest piece doesn’t allow for much maneuvering and Luke frowns against your skin before he separates completely to pull the armor off himself. 
He knows the clasps on the metal as well as he knows clasps on his favorite pair of pants. Yet his hands fumble. Excitement and the effects of the pollen, he reasons. But his face becomes warm from something other than the two, something he would rather not fully acknowledge. Especially not when he’s about to get his dick wet in the warmth of the one person he’s wanted since he was old enough to actually understand sex. 
You ask Luke if he wants your help with your usual teasing tone, but Luke doesn’t take kindly to it. As soon as he has the chest piece off, he has your shirt following it, and then his lips are back on yours. 
If even possible, this kiss is heavier. Firmer. Meaner. 
He still doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he calls onto the one other time he’d made out with someone. He remembers how he had been instructed to use his tongue and lick into his partner's mouth (a boy from the Ares cabin who stopped coming to camp a year ago). He had been kind to Luke when he didn’t know what he was doing, but now Luke feels like he needs to prove himself. He wants to prove himself. He wants to impress you. 
What results is a clash of teeth and tongue. It’s messy, sloppy, and slobbery. 
Luke likes it that way. 
You pull away first. 
Not much has been done, but you look a mess. Your lips are coated in saliva, probably yours and Luke’s, and pride floods his chest. You look flushed, too, and Luke sincerely hopes he’ll be able to amplify the emotion on your face soon thereafter. 
“Slow down. Luke.” Your words are soft, gentle, and kind. Just like you. Just like your hands that card through his still-wet hair. 
He winces, and not from the way your fingers snag on a cluster of curls. Wrongly assuming the cause of his sound, you apologize and smooth the patch of hair down. Your hands instead slide down Luke’s shoulders and he tries not to frown at the change. 
“Sorry,” he admits. He gnaws on his bottom lip, already missing the feeling of yours, and finds himself continuing. “I haven’t really made out with anyone since …”
You nod, lips pulling up in the corners. “Theo?” Luke nods. “I know. We tell each other everything, remember?”
Not everything. 
No one else is privy to the dreams Luke has about you. He has never told you, or anyone else, about all of the times he would fist his cock and chant your name in the showers late at night. In fact, when you would ask what took him so long, he would make up a lie about taking advantage of the hot water and solitude. While it was only a white lie, it was a lie nonetheless. 
The innocent and naive look on your face as you accepted his lie by omission only made Luke’s cock harder. 
You’re staring up at him now with a look different enough, but his reaction is the same.  Your eyes hold interest, intrigue, a little bit of mischief, perhaps. You look sure of yourself, like you’ve done this and in this capacity multiple times before. But Luke knows about your experience, nearly the exact same as his save for a few details he wishes to erase. 
When you had dished on your sexual history, Luke felt jealousy stirring deep in his stomach. He had been with other people, a guy and a girl, but that was in hopes of getting his mind off of you. Meanwhile, you had been with other people out of personal interest and not self-deluded necessity. 
Either way, your experience is almost the same as Luke’s, and knowing so makes it easier for him to take the lead. 
He kisses you again but he tries to go slower. Everything in him screams for him to speed up, to take you how he pleased, but he breathes and pushes the thoughts aside. 
Taking it slow pays off when you work the armor off of Luke’s torso (without much difficulty at all), and then slide your hands under his orange shirt to rest your palms against his abs. The feeling of your skin against his is striking, even though the touch isn’t much at all. Pathetically, Luke is affected by the meaning more than the physicality. 
“What do you feel now?” You ask him after pulling away from his lips. 
Luke’s immediate reflex is to say “horny”. 
You roll your eyes and absentmindedly scratch your nails against his abs. When he keens, he figures he’s hornier than even he thought. 
“I mean other than that. Your skin is warm so I’m assuming you’re still nearing a fever, at least. Are you lightheaded? Nauseous? Anything?”
Luke feels like he’s been slapped in the face. You were asking about his symptoms like a healer. Like an Apollo kid. He couldn’t help but wonder if you were only touching him to gauge his temperature. Were you only doing this—kissing him—to keep his fever warded off? Did you even want this? 
Rationally, he knows that you would do anything to help him. You’re his best friend, after all. But he wants you to want this, otherwise it would mean nothing.  Otherwise, he wouldn’t even begin to hold a torch to your previous partners. He would be the one you laid with out of moral obligation and not interest. 
He hadn’t been feeling nauseous before, but his throat starts to construct as if preparing to trigger his gag reflex. 
He hasn’t responded and you’re looking at him inquisitively. 
“Nauseous,” he starts. “Hot. Horny. Are you only doing this to keep me from dying?” The question messily tumbles out without him noticing. 
You run your tongue over your teeth. “Yes. But there’s also personal benefits involved.” 
Usually, Luke could decipher your maze-like answers. But he’s so hot and worked up and lacking an immense amount of patience. 
“So you want to fuck me?” 
Luke doesn’t continue his work until you respond. 
“Yes, Luke. I want to fuck you.” 
He has your shirt over your head in less than a minute. The button on your shorts is undone 30 seconds after that. He has completely forgotten about your plea to go slower, but even if he did remember he wouldn’t be able to comply. 
He needs to feel you. All of you. Or else he might collapse then and there. 
His hands run over your shoulders and torso gratefully, only appearing as the opposite whenever he runs into your bra (a sports bra, as he had assumed). As soon as he has the straps pulled down, he latches his lips onto the newly revealed skin. 
Distantly, Luke thinks he would have liked to have been able to lay you back. He wants to see you laid out before him while you’re completely at his mercy. Luckily, he has learned to adapt. He has been dealt unfavorable cards in his life, and turned them into something worthy. He plans to do the same here and now. 
As he sinks to his knees, he pulls your shorts down with him. You don’t have to be told to step out of them, but as soon as you do, you’re looking down at Luke with your eyebrows raised. 
“Are you sure? I haven’t showered since yesterday and I’m really sweaty.” 
Luke doesn’t pay any mind to your words. As you’re speaking, he already has his fingers forced under the elastic fabric of your panties. 
“I’m sure.” 
He pulls the fabric down. 
“You don’t have to.” 
“I want to.” 
He pulls your leg over his shoulder, bringing your cunt straight to his face. 
He has never gotten this far with someone before, he has never even seen examples of what to do in this position. He could back out. He could set your leg back down and only get his dick wet. But you smell so good, and you’re practically glistening in the sun, and you’re staring down at him expectantly so Luke slowly leans forward, sticks his tongue out, and gets to work. 
���
By the time Luke feels even a bit satiated, the sun has started to descend to its destination below the horizon, creating a soft blue hue over the sky. 
You’re panting under him, your back and arms painted with dirt, just a bit smudged on your cheek and a few flecks of it strewn throughout your hair. Your stomach rises and falls with your breaths, drawing Luke’s attention to the fresh cum laying there. There’s some dried cum on your back, and just the smallest smudge at the corner of your lips. Luke doesn’t think much before he licks his thumb and wipes away the white crust from your mouth. 
He sits back on his haunches and sighs with his head tilted to the sky. His hands rest on his thighs with an exorbitant amount of self control, as he desperately wishes to wrap his fingers around his semi-erect cock and jerk himself to another orgasm. 
He thinks that most of the pollen has left his system by now, and at this point the desire he feels is natural. It’s the same desire he has felt for you for a while now, only amplified by the memory of what the real thing was like with you. It’s addicting. Luke truly cannot get enough, even though he has been out here with you for hours. Somewhere along the way, one of the teams won capture the flag. Luke wasn’t sure which one, but the triumphant yells in the distance alerted him of a victory. Somewhere between his third orgasm and your fourth, the conch for lunch blew off into the distance, but Luke had absolutely no concern for satisfying his physical hunger. He was too focused on the sight in front of him. 
When he brings his vision back down, you’re sitting with your legs pulled in your chest and your arms wrapped around your calves. 
“We should clean up and go have dinner,” you tell him, your voice weak and hoarse. 
Fear strikes Luke still. You’re avoiding his eyes, staring down at the dirt, and speaking in a soft voice. 
He shuffles closer to you, reaches out to touch you, and then he reconsiders. You take a deep breath, and Luke rests his hand on your elbow. 
“Okay. Are you okay? I know that was a lot.”
You look at him and Luke feels a bit better, because while your eyes are a bit distant, you don’t look upset. 
“I’ll be okay. ‘m just tired. But what about you, are you fine?” 
There is still that nagging in the back of his head, telling him to take you one more time, but his logical part knows that you wouldn’t be able to handle it. He knows that you’ve had enough. Which means he, too, has had enough. 
“I’m good.” He leans forward and presses a kiss into your hairline. He stands, pulls his boxers onto his lower half, and offers you his hand. “C’mon.” 
You let Luke help you redress and hold his hand as he leads you back to camp the back way. You two come out of the forest right by the showers, where Luke tells you to wait while he does his best to sneakily run back to the cabins. He grabs himself a change of clothes, then sneaks into the Demeter cabin where he does the same for you. 
He knows that he has just seen all of your intimate parts for hours on end, but holding your panties in his hand makes his ears redden. Blood threatens to rush down to his crotch but he fills his head with the most undesirable images until he reaches you. 
Two showers are started, you and Luke stand back to back, and Luke enters his shower. 
When the bathroom is covered in steam and you’ve both used the remnants of the hot water, you and Luke redress and reach the dining pavilion just in time for dinner. 
He falls into the routine of a caring counselor easily. He answers insistent questions about his previous whereabouts with a passing “I was sick” that earns just enough sympathy and stops the questions all together. A few times he looks across the way to see you already looking at him. Instead of dropping his eyes or teasing you with the slyest middle finger he could muster, he smiles at you just slyly enough to not raise suspicion. 
When offerings have been given, and Luke feels full in multiple ways, he finds you at the bonfire and sits with his leg flushed to yours. 
He had just begun to think that all of the pollen was out until you rested your hand on his knee and he felt a jump in his stomach. 
Goddamn it. 
2K notes · View notes
mochinomnoms · 8 months ago
Text
Shrimpy Chronicles: First Mating Season
NSFW!Jade Leech x Shrimpmer!Reader X Floyd Leech
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Synposis:
Maybe Floyd was being prophetic when he called you ‘Little Shrimpy’. “But I’ve noticed, you’ve been getting pudgier lately, and feverish. Do you have a mating season, amor mia? I wasn’t aware if shrimps did.” She’d been pointing out your latest symptoms of late. Sensitive, soft and plush, hot, and red-cheeked, like your body was preparing you for something. It didn’t help that the waters had been warm of late, or that your husbands had been extra attentive with your meals and treats. And their attention. Especially their attention. The gold wedding bands and pearl ring on your left ring finger probably helped with that, though.
[wc} - 6,873
[cw/tags] - afab!gn!reader, merfolk-sex, breeding kink, prehensile dicks, twins stated to have both sets of sex, double-penetration in one hole, pregancy mentioned at end
[notes] - womp womp, this is my first smut fic, pls be nice. also i cracked and am shrimp-brained i love shrimp reader so fun to write!!!!
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If you had to decide between going back home, and leaving Twisted Wonderland, by this point you’d happily stay here for the rest of your days! 
The gold wedding bands and pearl ring on your left ring finger probably helped with that, though. You were admiring them as your mother-in-law Narissa Leech swam to your side, her tail brushing against yours. 
She was a beautiful mermaid, long and slender with an aquamarine tone to her skin, and a speckled snowflake pattern. Her eyes were a bright yellow-gold, and gleamed at you with delight. 
“Mia cara nuora, whatever is going through your head? Still getting used to all this?” She gestured to your legs. Or your tail, you suppose. 
You’d gotten married to the twins just two months ago, and made the commitment to become a merperson, just like them. The first second of your honeymoon consisted of you permanently becoming a merperson, gaining scarlet scales that covered your lower back and hips, clustering into your shrimp tail and white stripe from the hips to the tip of the tail. Between that and the shrimp legs on their hips and upper tail, it was quite ironic that you ended up becoming a cleaner shrimp.
Maybe Floyd was being prophetic when he called you ‘Little Shrimpy’. 
“Yeah, it’s weird. Being in your own body when it wasn’t always your body. I think? I don’t know, it’s strange.” Despite never having 8 legs and a tail, they just felt surprisingly familiar and instinctual. 
“Oh nuora, you’re a natural! Don’t you worry, if my sons could pick up human movements, you’ll be like a true-born merfolk.” She cooed, curling her arm around yours and tugging you along back to your home.
“But I’ve noticed, you’ve been getting pudgier lately, and feverish. Do you have a mating season, amor mia? I wasn’t aware if shrimps did.”
She’d been pointing out your latest symptoms of late. Sensitive, soft and plush, hot, and red-cheeked, like your body was preparing you for something. It didn’t help that the waters had been warm of late, or that your husbands had been extra attentive with your meals and treats. And their attention. Especially their attention.
You’d been filled with the need to be taken care of by your mates. For all intents and purposes, it seemed that you’d been given a mating season with your merform. And with how touchy your husbands had been, they were quite aware, and anticipating the start of your season. 
“I think…I might.” You sheepishly admitted, embarrassed to discuss such an embarrassingly intimate fact. She seemed unbothered and content. 
“Oh how lovely, I have been looking forward to the possibility of becoming a grandmother!” She giggled, delighted at the thought. “You know, morays always have such small broods, but shrimps always have plenty of fry. Will you be considering giving me plenty of grandbabies?”
You flustered and stuttered at the idea of having babies, let alone many. It wasn’t something you were discontent with, in fact the thought of making Mini Yous and Jades and Floyds. 
You wonder how many times you’d have to go to give you your first. Would you be easy to knock up? Or would you need to be fucked over and over to ensure their seed took? 
You had to shake your head to settle down the heat in your cheeks and belly, making you feel all sorts of ways. 
“We’ll see Mama Narissa, I can’t say I’ve thought too much about it.” You lied.
Narissa laughed, twirling you around in a little dance. By the time she stopped, you were so dizzy that you couldn’t swim straight, pushing against her for support. 
“Oh darling, trust me, my boys certainly have. Don’t let them rough you up too much, cara, they’ve always been insatiable!” She laughed at your darling cheeks, teasing you as she took you to the rest home. 
She always swam you to your home, bringing you back from daily mother-in-law excursions. Narissa would take you out to the local town and introduce you to the folks, saying that it would be a good idea to make friends in town and start networking as the newest member of the Leech family. You were…faintly aware of the type of reputation your new family had, and while neither Jade nor Floyd cared about pushing you to maintain any sort of image. 
While their sons might not care (in fact the twins seemed content to just keep you to themselves), but their parents, Narissa and Bruno Leech, did. Narissa scolded her sons when they tried to hide you away, switching shifts at work so that you’d never be alone. 
It was her who insisted that you go out to town, meet with associates, and get you established in your spot in the family. The twins quickly gave in, as few could argue with the head of the Leech family.
You’d been surprised to hear that Narissa was the family head, or Donna, as you’ve heard others call her. From your conversations, Jade and Floyd had made out their father to be the one in charge, while their mother was overprotective and stayed home. While she was protective, she knew many people of various “backgrounds”, and spoke and held herself in a manner that demanded respect. 
Her husband, Bruno, was much more wry and relaxed compared to her, though he’d been the main liaison between Narissa and any associates. He also liked going to the surface for meetings and outings, unlike Narissa who preferred to stay in the sea. 
So, she’d been more than happy to drag her sons to work under their father, while she took you under her wing. You’d been suspicious, and felt that you could safely assume that the Leech parents were grooming you and their sons to eventually take over their positions. 
You appreciated it, since it kept you busy. Plus, you got to see how people really live under the sea, or the Leeches at least. Based on how spoiled the twins were, you were a bit surprised at the lack of servants of any sorts at home, except a small school of cleaner wrasses that immediately scattered off at the wave of your mother-in-law’s hand. 
The home for you and the twins was settled closer to the Rosarian reef, rather than the Northern Coral deep sea. In fact, the home was a coral bed built around a sea cave, apparently a luxurious real estate under the sea! Though, the main appeal was that it was close to a beach on one of the Queendom of Roses’s islands, which you visited to meet with Ace, Deuce, and Grim. 
“Oh, Mama Narissa? Perhaps we can go up to the surface next week when we go out?” You swam into the kitchen together, the meal that Narissa had helped you prepared earlier on the counter. 
“My friends are coming to the beach to visit me, I thought that you might like to meet them?”
Narissa wrinkled her nose, but smiled politely, “I’ve never been a fan of the surface, but I suppose it can’t be helped. I’d love to meet your human friends.”
She clapped her webbed hands, gesturing to the food on the counter as she twirled around in the water. 
“Now, let me show you how to make this dish. The boys loved it as kids, I think you humans called it sushi on the surface. Come one!”
You two had made it home just an hour shy of your husbands’ return. Narissa was diligent in making sure you’d always be able to greet your husbands’ return with sweet words and sweeter kisses. 
And they did enjoy it so, she stayed for 30 minutes to help you finish preparing the supper for the evening, then taking her leave so you could have some alone time for yourself up the remaining 30 minutes. Floyd cooed about having a cute stay at home spouse to come home too, while Jade delighted in the domesticity of it all. 
But between your earlier conversation with Narissa, and the burning need growing in your abdomen, you were yearning for your husbands’ touch and love. 
Narissa noticed before she left, cooing at you like she would a baby. “Oh nuora, are you alright? Maybe go lie down and rest. I’ll send a text to the boys that you’re feeling unwell.”
“Mm, okay…that be…nice…” You clumsy swam past her, clutching to the walls with your hands as she gently grabbed you by the waist. With Narissa as your guide, she helped you lay down on the love seat in the living room. You think she might’ve had a mischievous smile on her lips, but you couldn’t tell as you wearily curled into the cushions to nap. 
You think you could make out her mumble something about ‘babies’ and ‘grandchildren’, but you’d passed out by the time you processed her words. 
The next you woke up, there was a slender hand brushing through your hair, which still retained your color and cut from when you were human. You made out the familiar voices of Jade and Floyd, the latter right above you, as the former sounded like he was in another room. 
“Mmmph, Flooyd? Isss that you?” You murmured, reaching out blindly for Floyd as you blinked the sleep out of your eyes. 
“Heya, look at my little Shrimpy.” Floyd cooed, sinking down to be face level with you, pushing his forehead against yours. “Mama said you weren’t feeling great. Did you need us?”
Floyd spoke with a baby-voice, nuzzling against you with delight. The scent of salt and lemons, something you’d associated with Floyd, filled your nose as you happily sighed, throwing your arms around his neck to bury your nose against his skin. Floyd made a sound of surprise, though he immediately clutched onto you in response.
“Aw, cute! Hey Jade!” Floyd was giggling as Jade quickly swam back into the room carrying a potion in his hands. His gaze softened, seeing you curled into Floyd’s arms. 
“Oh, look at our sweet pearl.” Jade sighed, smile growing as he watched you pull away from Floyd to open your arms up to him.
“Jaaaade! You’re home too! Give me a kiss~” you weren’t sure when you’d become so blunt and bold. Normally, you’re more reserved, if a bit teasing, with your affections, the twins loved making a game out of who could fluster who first. But right now? You felt…different. 
Your mind felt like it was floating out of your body, watching everything happening from third-person. All of your senses felt more aware, from the sounds of the water currents outside, to the beating of your heart, to the humming of your skin. It was like you were both drunk, high, and yet neither at all. 
None of that mattered, though, not when Jade so sweetly embraced you, the dark markings and freckles on his skin glowing as he teasingly peppered kisses over your flushed cheeks as Floyd did the same to the back of your neck. 
“Aw, why didn’t Shrimpy ask me for a kiss too?” Floyd whined, huffing as you dragged Jade’s lips to yours. He glowed too, pretty like an aurora. He grazed the points of his teeth over your neck, making you whine and shiver. 
“I’m—mmh—sorry, Floyd!” You separated from Jade to tilt your head back, moving one hand to cup Floyd’s cheek. “Kiss! Lemme kiss you!”
Floyd eagerly met your lips with enthusiasm, moving with Jade to sit on the love seat again in his lap, facing Jade.
You hadn’t been intimate since your transformation, so it was slightly embarrassing to be curled into the cushioned shell loveseat, sweaty, lascivious, and sensitive at your husbands’ touches. 
Floyd hummed against your lips as he tangled his long tongue against yours, Jade busy with fluttering your chest and tummy with wet kisses. 
“Darling, look at you, how messy and sweet you look! You’ve missed our touches. You’re craving them, aren’t you?”
Jade chuckled against your belly button, something you kept from being a human, and kissed it. He eyed your tummy, the skin there and the slight translucent sheen to it. 
It wasn’t off-putting, not to them. Why many fish in the sea had see-through skin and muscle, allowing you to see their skeleton and organs. Yours was quite tame compared to those creatures, the rest of your body retaining either a pink or red opaque hue, with only your lower abdomen and stomach having the translucent skin. 
“Of course they have Jade, they’ve gone months without their tummy bein’ filled up.” Floyd purred, moving away from your panting mouth and unfurling his tongue, dragging it down your chest to your navel. “And their body is telling them to breed. Just look at how puffy their slit is getting~”
You whined as both of them moved to direct their heady gaze to your cunt, hot and throbbing for attention. The scales around your slit had been slowly pushed to reveal lips and a clit, trembling under Jade’s hot mouth. Another whine was drawn from your throat, his tongue dragging on the skin around your lips. 
Your entire body felt like it was melting, all the need and heat from this week amounting on top of you like the earth on Atlas’s shoulders. But now? It was all crashing down on you like your body had been waiting for this point. For the touches of your mates along your body, claw tipped fingers just grazing around where your hips and slit were. 
It probably didn’t help that you hadn’t been touched, or touched yourself, in weeks with the confusion of a new body. Though, it seems that the twins were all too happy to help you learn mer anatomy. 
“Jade! Please, I need you to touch me, lick me, drink ‘n eat me up—AH!” You shrilly gasped as he shoved his tongue in your hole, his long tongue rubbing against your walls. You arched your back at the sensation, an intoxicating spike of energy crawling up your spine. Jade drank in your juices, humming as he tapped your g-spot with the tip of his tongue. 
The sensation was quickly becoming like a drug, spiking as Floyd took a long, slow and coveted lick to your clit until he reached the tip of his tongue, flicking it as he drew it away. He giggled at your yelp, staring into your eyes as he started sucking on your clit, suckling like a baby to their mother’s teat. 
And he certainly was sucking the life out of you, keening as you shook from an orgasm that blended into a paralyzing stream of pleasure. 
Yet, you still felt like you were missing something, as the heat in your belly hadn’t dissipated. Rather, it felt like it was getting stronger, begging for something to fill the empty void in you.
So it was helpful that neither twin cared for leaving their meal, waiting for you to either push their heads away, or for them to get bored. You of all people knew that they have a hard time getting bored from things they find interesting, and you were certainly captivating.
Their tongues worked nonstop, Jade tongue-fucking your sweet spots as Floyd made a particularly hard suck to your button, making you buck your hips against his. In fact, they seemed content to just switch places, Jade feeding on your pearl and Floyd pushing his tongue so far in that you’re sure he brushed your cervix. 
Moans and cries freely left your lips, as several smaller orgasms rocked your body. Your chest heaved as you gasped, your gills filling with water. The twins giggled, Jade kissing up your body and Floyd dragging his tongue through your slit. 
“Hmm, Floyd. Look at how needy they are.” Jade melted into your embrace as you wrapped your arms around him, placing wet kisses against his cheeks and lips. “How cute, who knew that they’d get so desperate when in their mating season! No wonder Mother was pushing for us to get home so quickly.” 
Floyd cackled, nuzzling against your chest as he squeezed you against him. “Yeah! No wonder! Do you wanna be filled?”
“Oh, of course they do~” Jade grazed his teeth along your ear, tugging it before letting go to whisper in your ear, “They want to be bred silly! Don’t you, my love? Just ask, and I’ll fill you up over and over again. I’ll fill you up until you’re utterly full, and then eat my cum out of you just to fill you back up again~ Do you like the sound of that—ow, Floyd, that hurts.”
Floyd had reached up to pull at Jade’s strand of hair, a chittering growl reverberating through his chest as he hissed, “Don’t be selfish! They’re my mate too!”
Sleekly, Floyd slid up your body to take his place on your other side, pulling at your chin with his cheek. He let out a high-pitched whine as he did, his words muffling. 
“You want me to fill you up too, right?” Floyd pouted, smacking ticklish kisses to your face and neck. “Floydie will give ya lots of baby Shrimpys! How many do you want? Two? Think we can get three in one go?”
Your body was getting hot again, and you felt empty. There was a desire to be stretched out around your husbands’ dicks.
“Ah, I want—I want,” You cried, moving your hips up, grinding against the water. “I wanna be filled! Both! I wan’ both of you in me!”
Both of them froze and shared a look, their sudden stillness making you feel upset, as you began babbling half-coherent begs and sobs.
“Aw, (Name). Don’t cry.” Floyd shushed you, rubbing his nose against yours as he smiled. “It’s not that we don’t wanna. We really, reeally wanna give you what you want!”
“Mm-hm.” Jade hummed, cupping your cheek as he drew your gaze to him. “Yes, of course we do. But you’re just a bit small, darling.”
Floyd and Jade had always been big, especially in their merforms. And even as a merperson, you didn’t even reach half of their length. There was no question that their dicks would be equally proportional.
“We don’t want to end up breaking you, love.” Jade breathlessly murmured against your ear. Though, from the heady tone of his voice and the grip he had on your hips, you were sure that was a lie. 
“Unless you ask us. Then we’d be happy to.” Floyd cooed into your other ear, hand wandering down to caress your still slick slit, using your juice as lube to rub your clit. “Ask us. We’ll take real good care of ya after, we promise~”
It wasn’t even a question, more a matter of you coughing up your ‘yes’, but your voice was caught in your throat as they resumed their movements. 
Jade took delight in marking up your neck with hickies and suckling your nape, his free hand squeezing your chest and slipping under your cover to pinch your nipple. 
“Ah! I want—fuck!” You gasped as Jade started fondling your chest and suckling from your nipple. “Shit, Jade! Mmh!”
Between his mouth on you, and Floyd whispering sweet, arousing words into your ear, asking you, “don’t you want us to make you feel good? To fill you up?”
Jade hummed in agreement from your chest, tugging it with his teeth before resuming his sucking. You rapidly nodded your head, opening eyes that you didn’t realize were closed. Two gold eyes were watching your expressions. 
Floyd continued being the prettiest devil on your shoulder. “Just say ask. Ask. And say ‘pleeeease’, say ‘Floooyd! Jaaaade! Fuck me pleeeease!’”
Mimicking your voice, Floyd made mean, mocking moans into your ear. You’d be offended if it didn’t make you hot. You’ll fuck him first, then complain later.
A pinch to your clit, and a nibble to your nip, and you were arching and walling, “GAAAH! FLOYD! JADE! FUUUCK ME! PLEEEEASE! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASPLEASEPLEASE—”
You yelped mid beg as Floyd let out his raspy laugh, picking you up in a bridal carry as he zoomed to the bedroom. He’d shoved you into the sheets, adjusting so that your head was hanging off the edge of the soft coral bed. 
The taller twin settled to grind his navel and slit against yours, groaning as his cock was coaxed to slip out to your sticky opening. Jade, gently and firmly guiding your head, pushed his own softening slit to your lips, sighing as you licked around the slit. 
Your own tongue dragged its entire length along Jade’s lips, the salty taste of this slick making your eyes close in bliss. It took but a few more licks for his long cock, green and pink-tipped like a flower, to come out. It followed your tongue and was easily coaxed to thrust into your mouth, prehensile and wrapping around your tongue. 
It was gentle, only thrusting softly into your mouth, until it shuddered around your moaning mouth, Jade groaning from the vibrations. Floyd’s own dick had made its way out, pushing against your tight hole and slowly filling you up. You swear, it took up your entire womb with its size, rapidly thrusting and pushing against your walls with the intent to breed. Floyd seemed unaffected, beaming in delight at your muffled cries and begs as he grinded against your clit. 
“Haah, Jade! Our shrimp’s pussy feels sooo good! It’s so tight and soft.” Floyd took heaving breaths as made out with you messily, groaning and giggling into your mouth. “It’s like they wanna make sure my seed fills them up~”
You cried out, muffled moans filling the air as you tried nodding in agreement. You’d tried answering against Jade’s dick, but only served to further stimulate him. 
“Mmh, and it’s like they want to milk my cock. Greedy, greedy darling. You’re so—hah—lucky we love spoiling you.”
Jade thrusted harder against your mouth, the tip touching the back of your throat, making your gag and choke. Even so, you relaxed and let him face-fuck you with no remorse. It wasn’t like you needed air anymore, not with the gills on your neck.
Besides, it wasn’t Jade fucking your mouth that took the oxygen from your lungs, but way Floyd stretched you out and rubbed his own clit against yours. 
“You feel that? You feel how good you're making me feel? Yeah~” Floyd purred, roughly grinding against you as he breathlessly laughed. “Making me feel all sortsa ways, like I could keep fucking his hole of mine forever~”
One of the first delights you learn before transforming was that, as eelmers, your darling husbands were built with both sets of sex, their slit hiding away their hastily growing cocks and tight openings. You wondered if you could return the favor and eat them out instead, the thought of a trembling Jade and keening Floyd as you feasted utterly delicious. 
“Now Floyd, what did you say earlier?” Jade asked, pushing your hair away from your face as he kept at his meal. “Don’t be selfish! They’re my mate too!”
Jade mimicked Floyd’s pouting tone, mocking his brother with a shit-eating grin as Floyd growled, clawed hands digging into your hips and upper tail to fuck you even harder, making you bounce against the bed and Jade’s dick. 
A particularly rough thrust against your cervix brought you back to the moment, Floyd’s teeth digging into your right shoulder as he suddenly came in you. 
His cum was thick and filling, dripping from your hole from the sheer amount Floyd busted into you. And as Floyd pulled away, you pulled away from Jade and looked down to see inches and inches of his dick leaving your throbbing cunt. You weren’t even sure if you came with him at this point,  all the euphoric bliss you’d been feeling blending in. 
What you were sure of was Floyd’s length still being hard and firm, moving around his hand as he pumped it. That fact that he was still able to keep going made you ravenous as you wiggled your hips at him, hoping that Floyd would keep going. 
You needed to feel fuller. You needed to take up as much cum in you as possible. You needed to be bred like a good little mate. At least until you could return the favor. (You pushed that last thought to the back of your mind, confused as to why your sex-filled brain conjured that.)
“Hey Jade.” Floyd ignored your cranky whines, you’d be filled up again soon anyway. “Switch spots with me. I wanna feel their mouth, besides, our mate is nice and tight, ‘n squeezes you juuust right~”
Floyd giggled, his signature laugh, slinking up your body as Jade snaked down, dragging his hands down your body as he did. Jade was quick to take his spot, his dick slick with his precum and your spot slipping into you with little resistance. 
Both were big, but Floyd was slender and longer, whereas Jade was shorter and much thicker, stretching you out to the point that you were sure you’d be ruined for anyone else. As if you’d ever want anyone else. 
Jade was ever so gentle with you, slowly pushing the tip of his cock as he used Floyd’s cum as lube, his girth filling you up deliciously. You groaned as you felt the cum in you push out of your hole to make room for Jade, until he eventually made it to the hilt. His length was pressing against your walls, swirling in you, as Jade started grinding his slit against you. 
“Damn!” Jade cursed, gasping as he pressed his head against your chest, teething at the skin. “You’re right, Floyd, they feel so tight and soft against me! I could get drunk from your walls, my love~”
Obsessed as he’s always been with your chest, Jade took to occupying his mouth with your chest, back to suckling you like a baby. It was like he was opening for milk to come out and fill his insatiable tongue with your taste. 
“Yeah! Can you imagine how much tighter they’ll be when we both fill them up? Haha! You’ll be begging to have our dicks in ya forever, our cute lil’ shrimp!” 
Floyd, rougher than his brother, pulled at the hair in your scalp, firm but soft, and pushed his dick towards your mouth. He threw his head back, sighing as you took a long, slow lick from the tip of his cock to the base. It trembled against your tongue at the stimulation, surprising as it tried wrapping around the muscle before shoving itself into your mouth. You choked as Floyd began pistoning into your mouth, cackling as little tears dripped from your eyes. 
Between his fast pumps, and Jade’s tortuously slow thrusts, you were slowly being driven insane.
“Ngh, d-did you just cum again?” Jade stuttered, pulling away from your teat with a string of saliva connecting you two. “I felt it…I’m close, you know. Mmmph…Want me to fill you up again my love?”
“Mmmm! Mmmphmm!” You cried against Floyd’s dick, tongue massaging his length as you sucked. You’d managed to keep rolling your hips against Jade, the stinging effects of overstimulation starting to take hold.
“Ha! I think they want it Jade~” Floyd cackled, finally shoving your face against his groin, forcing you to swallow around his dick. “Give it to ‘em, if our shrimp wants us to breed them, then we oughta make them happy~”
A chilling growl left Jade’s mouth as he clenched his teeth into your left shoulder, near the crook of your neck as his prehensile dick pounded into, practically fucking your womb, like it wanted to nestle in and never leave. 
Your tummy felt hot as Jade filled you up, finally moving your head away from Floyd to cough and gasp at the feeling. Managing to lift your head, you saw a bulge on your stomach where Jade was filling you up with his own cum, right along Floyd’s. 
“Aha, I’m so full!” You moaned, giggling deliriously, all thoughts from your head fucked out, as you rubbed the bulge. “It feels so goooood~” 
The heat coursing through your veins has dissipated quite a bit, now a comfortable hum and tingling on your skin instead of an insatiable need to get fucked. You beamed as Jade, still in you, leaned down to kiss you sweetly, his hands cradling your face as he nipped your nose. 
“We’re glad, aren’t we Floyd?” Jade purred, grinning down at you with a hungry look still. You made a noise of confusion as he moved away, rolling to his side. Whimpering as a few inches of his length slid out as he did, but he stopped, keeping most of it in. Looking down, you could make out the pearlescent cum of your husbands leaking out of you, thick and viscous. 
“Hmm, yeah.” Floyd sighed, tracing along your pudgy tummy, briefly squeezing down to watch more cum leak from your hole. “Let’s fill them up even more!”
“Huh?” You pushed yourself up on your elbows, blinking rapidly as Floyd took your otherside and positioned his dick against your still stretched out cunt. 
“You said you wanted both of us in you, right?” Floyd started pushing, long tongue licking over your cheek, down your neck, and slathering over the bite he made. “You wanted both of us at once. We’re giving you what you want.”
Your brain function was still yet to completely return, as you barely managed to process his words at the last second. “Wait, wha—AAAAH!”
Your hands went flying up to their hair as Floyd pushed in against his walls and Jade’s dick, stretching you beyond comprehension. Pulling at their teal strands, you could hear both of them ominously chuckle, Floyd’s hand going back down to your nub as Jade’s lips made their way home to your chest to feed. 
“Fuck! Too much! Too much! Aaaaahahaha!” You gasped, laughing as the heat returned to your belly as your eyes glazed over. “Ooooooh shit! F-floyd, Jaaade…uwwwaaah…”
Throwing your head back, you started letting out open-mouthed moans, blubbering as you started speaking nonsense to your mates. Any coherent thought was yanked from your brain and tossed out like garbage as they started moving in you, lengths pushing up against all your most deliciously sensitive spots, tips hitting your cervix like they were fighting to take up the space in your womb first. 
“Aahaha! Look at you! Fucked stupid~” Floyd lovingly nuzzled against your temple, kissing your forehead as he continued his mean words. “Do ya like it? You gonna cum again? Cum as much as you want~ Only we can make you feel this good~”
Floyd cackled again, bringing your head back up to make out with your drooling mouth, his tongue tangling with yours. 
“Mmm, morays can go for hours you know,” Jade cooed, cheeks flustered and eyes drunk on your body as he flicked your nipple with the tip of his tongue. “Do you want us to keep going? Use you? Make sure our little mate is filled with plenty of seed for their eggs? Do you want to keep getting fucked~”
“Yesh!” You cried, muffled against Floyd’s sloppy kiss. “Fuck me more! I wa-wanna feel your cocks here!”
You placed your hand over your navel, feeling the bumps of their dicks as they pounded against your insides. Pulling away from a whining Floyd, you looked down at your belly, and gasped at the sight. 
You could just barely make out the blue, glowing lines on their dicks as they moved in you, the outline just visible under the transparent skin of your belly. You could even make out the pearly white sheen of their cum filling you up under the skin. The sight shocked you into coming, tossing your head back as you panted for oxygen. 
“Sho good! It feelsh shooo good! Don’t stoooooop~” You were slurring as you bawled your eyes out, shaking as you came once again for the nth time that night. Yet they didn’t stop, not from your overstimulated tears, nor your walls tightening against them.
“Floyd! Jade!” You gasped, your insides feeling raw and like they were burning, finally being pushed past your limits. “W-wait, I can’t…I just…I just came—FUCK!”
Your husbands pulled you up, wrapping their tails around yours and each other to be closer to you, as Jade forced you to look down at your extending belly and their lengths moving in and out. As soon as one slipped out, the other thrusted in, ensuring you were never empty. Unfortunately, as they did, more of their cum was slipping out as well, making Floyd whine. 
“Aw, Jade! Look at how our Shrimpy is wasting our seed!” Floyd pulled on your ear with his sharp teeth, playfully chittering in your ear. 
Jade clicked his tongue in disappointment, bumping his forehead against yours, “How wasteful, we’ll just have to go a few more hours then, to make sure our seed takes. Can you handle it, my love? You can, can’t you?”
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You blinked open your eyes, the algae lamp on the nightstand providing a dim blue light to the room. Yawning, you tried stretching your arms, wincing at the pain that shot up from your lower back. 
“Mmh? (Name)? You wanna go again?” you heard Floyd sleepily giggle to himself, spooning against your back as his tail was wrapped around your fins. “Kinda tired, but I’ll go again for my shrimp, hehe~”
You reached a hand over to pinch his nose, grumbling, “Stop it, you know exactly what yawning is.” 
Floyd pouted, digging his head against your back again as he tightened his grip. From your front, Jade groaned at the movement as he nuzzled his head against your chest, arms gripping your midsection and tail tightly wrapped around your hips. At this moment, you were just a body pillow to him. 
“Stop moving…it’s still early…” Jade mumbled into your skin, nipping at it briefly. “...Want to…sleep.”
“Nah, I’m awake now. I wanna eat somethin’, wanna come to the kitchen?” Floyd asked, kissing his bite mark on your shoulder as he did. He untangled himself from you, stretching and wincing from the scratches you made on his shoulders stung.
You tried moving, but felt a cramp in your hips and pelvis as you did. Between that, and Jade’s displeased growl as he tightened his grip, you were trapped. 
“I don’t think I can move…you guys did a number on me.” You were just noticing your entire torso and navel covered in hickies and bruises, the most prominent being the hand marks on your hips. 
“Heh, nice. Oof!” Floyd grunted as you threw a pillow at him. You had half a mind to smother Jade too as you felt him smirk and chuckle into your skin. Unfortunately for you (and fortunately for him), there was a cheery knock at the front door. 
(Or the frame of your front door. Homes under the sea didn’t have doors, though you had a rather intricately designed curtain over the entrance for privacy). 
“I miei figli! It’s been a few weeks now! Can I see mia nuora?”
Since your mating season started, you’d been going at it nearly nonstop with the twins the first week until your libido managed to die down to a more reasonable amount. Granted, at least one of the twins was with you at all hours as they took turns going to work. This week, you’d taken to just resting your incredibly sore body. Nearly 5 days since you were last fucked, and you were still wincing as you swam. 
Unfortunately, Narissa missed you just a bit too much to wait a few more days to see you. 
“Oh my god, Mama Narissa!” You bolted up, Jade grumbling as he let you untangle from his grasp. He settled for grabbing your pillow and shoving his face in it to drink in your scent. “Shit, has it really been weeks?”
“Mm-hm,” Jade hummed, finally opening his eyes to look at you. He was never a morning person, surprisingly, so it took him sometime before he was fully coherent. “You were insatiable the last few weeks…begging to make sure you stayed filled up. I was surprised at how long you lasted between rounds.”
Jade rubbed a hand against your belly, staring at it intently as he slow blinked, ready to fall back asleep at any moment. 
“...It’s twins.” He said, very matter-of-factly. You blinked in confusion, but smiled at the idea.
You covered your hand over his, lacing your fingers together as you shrugged and smiled. “You think? Humans usually have just one, but I’ve also never had a mating season, so I don’t know.” 
“Hm, it is.” 
You blinked again, staring at Jade as he lovingly smiled at the bump on your stomach. Shrugging again, you pushed his bangs back and pressed a kiss to his forehead, making the effort to trudge through the pain and swim out to greet your mother-in-law. You sharply inhaled as you tried straightening your tail, feeling like your muscles were being pulled. 
“Ah!” You hissed, rubbing your lower back as Jade perked, getting up and letting you wrap your arms around his shoulders as he carried you on his back. 
“Here, I’ll take you.” Jade rubbed his eye, now fairly awake as he blissfully took you through the hallway into the living room, then the kitchen as you heard voices coming from there. 
“It’s been weeks! I just wanna see my nuora too, especially since neither of you have been at work at once for nearly a month!” You could make out Papa Leech’s, Bruno’s, raspy voice from the kitchen. 
“Oh relax, amore mio!” Narissa purred, kissing her husband’s cheeks as he visibly softened. He was stocky, built much like his sons, but much longer and covered in old scars. He was also a darker, muted shade of green, his eyes hazel and hair a familiar shade of black. You could look at Bruno and obviously see the resemblance between his sons and him.
“They’re fine! Look there, they are with Jade now.” Narissa chirped, swimming past Floyd to ruffle his hair as he tossed a scallop in his mouth. “Save some for your mate, Floyd. I’m sure they’re starving. 
Floyd looked offended at the suggestion, replying with a full mouth, “We’ph kefft ‘em fed!”
Narissa scolded him for speaking with a full mouth as Bruno excitedly made his way to you, snatching you from Jade, who made an annoyed hiss, and twirled you around. He squeezed you in a bone-crushing hug as he spoke. 
“There you are! Our family shrimp! Don’t be mad at me now, but you’ve kept the boys plenty busy! I’m gonna need to steal them back, why don’t you and Nari go—”
You yelped as four pairs of arms snatched you back from Bruno’s embrace, a hair-raising growl and clacking of Floyd’s jaws echoing in the kitchen. Floyd was holding you between him and Jade, the latter protectively curled over your stomach as he eyed his own father. 
Bruno looked less than amused, rolling his eyes as he clacked his own pharyngeal jaws in response. 
“Just playing ‘round with mia nuora, what’s wrong with you two?! Hissing at your own father?!” He snapped, briefly looking at Narissa as she turned his face to hers. 
She had a smile on her face, gold eyes locking on Jade’s hands covering you. 
“Amore, you need to be careful with (Name)! Of course, they’re hissing at you, you’re roughhousing with a berried mate!”
Berried?
“W-what? What’s that mean?” You asked, confused as Bruno immediately brightened, rapidly sinking to the ground to be at eye level with your stomach. Narissa gracefully followed, as did your husbands, now relaxed. 
“It means our Shrimpy is gonna have baby Shrimpies.” Floyd giggled as Jade reached up to direct your gaze to your translucent tummy. 
“See, my love? The eggs look like berries.” Jade tapped a finger against your slightly protruding stomach, right where you could make out the sight of two teal colored eggs. 
You gasped, placing your hand over Jade and Floyd’s. Effectively stunned into silence, Bruno had more than enough energy to loudly celebrate for all five of you. 
“WHOOP! NONNINO! I’M GOING TO BE A NONNINO!” Bruno excitedly swam around in circles, twisting and twirling around as Floyd darted to his father’s side, following his dance in happiness.
Jade chuckled, giving his mother a knowing look as they both straightened back up, moving to nip at your ear affectionately. 
“I suppose we should let everyone else know the good news.”
You nodded in a daze, the thought of letting your adoptive parents up on the surface of the news dizzying. 
“Yeah…” You finally smiled, breathlessly laughing into Jade’s shoulder as you reached for Floyd, who immediately met your embrace, nearly knocking you into Jade’s arms in excitement. 
Between the rings on your left-hand ring finger, and the two eggs in your stomach, it was no question: you’re happy to stay in Twisted Wonderland for the rest of your days. 
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comments and reblogs appreciated 🩷
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basketonthedoorstepofthefbi · 7 months ago
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Shaking (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Summary: You have an anxiety attack in a public setting, but luckily, the doctor is there to help you through it.
Word Count: 2450
Warnings: Anxiety attack, mild cursing, mostly just ANGST and then comforting FLUFF
A/N: Wanted to write Spence comforting the reader during a panic attack. Fanfiction is better than therapy, right? At least, it’s cheaper! Also not my GIF
——
“You don’t want to just order it online?” Spencer asked as you walked beside him down the sidewalk. His longer legs would typically mean that he’d be several steps ahead of you, but he always slowed his pace so you wouldn’t have to strain to keep up with him. He also walked on the outside of the path because, let’s face it, he was a gentleman.
You shook your head. “No, I want the whole experience,” you said excitedly as you walked, your face lighting up in anticipation. You were on your way towards a local bookstore, where the third book in your favorite series was being released today. The bookstore was going to be packed, but you were so excited to be one of the first ones in the door, to get your hands on a physical copy. “I don’t ever do things like this, but it’ll be something I think about every time I look at the book sitting on my shelf.”
Spencer nodded, lifting his hand, his thumb and forefinger in an O-shape as he spoke. “Ah, the age-old concept of symbolic treasures. One of the main reasons why souvenirs are such a prevalent part of going on vacation. Did you know the tradition dates back to Ancient Egypt?”
You shook your head as you continued to walk with him. Your boyfriend carried on without fault. “As far back as 2200 B.C, Egyptian Prince Harkhuf traveled to what is now known as Sudan and returned with all sorts of objects to present to his father, the pharaoh,” Spencer explained. His words spat out quickly, compulsively, as though they had to exit his encyclopedic brain. “He brought back items such as incense, ivory, even the skins of leopards to show off to his father.”
“I had no idea,” you told Spencer as you neared the bookstore, smiling sideways at him. You loved it when he spouted off facts like that, like he had to get the information out or else he’d explode. He had confessed to you more than once before that most people found it weird or off-putting or even annoying, but not you. Rather, you loved learning new things. Whatever information he had to share with you was always relevant in one way or another, and it was just one of the reasons why you loved spending time with him - he made you a more knowledgeable, well-rounded person.
Before either of you could say much else, you’d reached the back of the line of the bookstore. You checked the time on your phone. The store would open in about fifteen minutes. The line stretched down at least a full block, from what you could see. Lots of people dressed like characters from the books, shuffling their feet in excited anticipation.
There were at least a hundred people in the line, and after a minute or two, a couple dozen more had filed in behind where you stood. You pursed your lips for a moment, scanning the crowd until your eyes met Spencer’s.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, inclining his head to the side.
You shook your head. “Nothing,” you said. “Just… lot of people.”
Spencer nodded understandingly, then reached down to take your hand. Your fingers twined with his and he squeezed his palm against yours. “I’m right here,” he reminded you. You didn’t love crowds. They always made you feel anxious, perhaps even a little claustrophobic. You and Spencer had gone to a fairly crowded French film festival a few months ago and there hadn’t been an organized line to enter; rather, it had been a cluster of people, all pressed together. And you had felt like you couldn’t breathe. Spencer’d had to pull you to a seat off to the side so you could catch your breath, and you’d missed getting a seat up front like you’d been hoping for.
Right now, you were okay, though. There were people in front of you and behind you, but they weren’t flush against you like they had been waiting for the film festival to open. And Spencer was holding your hand, and you were outside, with the cool, spring morning breeze hitting your face. It was fine. You were going to be fine. You inhaled deeply and exhaled, then nodded your head, feeling the anxiety dissipate. “I’m good,” you told Spencer, looking up at him.
Spencer nodded. He squeezed your hand once again before letting go, only so he could wrap his arm around your shoulders and tug you so you leaned against his chest. He kissed the top of your hair. “It’s going to be just fine,” he promised you, and you just smiled to yourself.
About ten minutes later, the store opened. You only knew that because the line started moving, and more quickly than you thought. You squealed in delight and matched the pace of the people in front of you, Spencer by your side with an amused grin on his face. He loved books just as much as you did, if not more, but this outing was definitely just for you. He’d read the other preceding books in this series (literally just because you asked him to and it took him an hour, tops), but he wasn’t a total geek for it like you were.
You finally made it inside the bookstore, a small business, a local place. You’d been inside several times before, but you hadn’t realized just how small the building actually was until you stepped in now. It was two stories, but everyone was tightly packed, with the people and the bookshelves crowding around you as you made it fully inside the store. There was even a line to go up to the second floor, like a queue at an amusement park.
There was little to no breathing room. Everyone was talking as they waited their turn to grab a copy of the new book, and the sound seemed to bounce off the walls and the ceiling and smack you right in the ear. The air felt thick despite the front door and handful of windows being opened, allowing the cool spring breeze to ruffle the pages of the paperbacks on display.
But it wasn’t refreshing. Rather, it was another stimulant that caused the neurons in your brain to fire even faster. You felt your palms get slick. You felt your heart start to pound, and your knees wobble as you shuffled forward in the line. What were you even waiting in line for? You momentarily forgot, blinking a few times before looking up at the man beside you. Spencer was engrossed in looking around the bookstore, the corners of his mouth quirking upward as he seemed to find something amusing. But when his eyes came full circle back to you, they were immediately filled with concern. “Y/N?” He asked softly, placing a hand on your shoulder.
You couldn’t even hear him. The sound of his voice just bounced off your brain, like you were trapped inside of cellophane. All you could think was trapped. I’m trapped. No way out. Stuck. Caged. Can’t breathe. Can’t breathe.
You felt your breathing go heavy, and your eyes fill up with tears. Your cheeks were red, bright red, judging from how hot you suddenly felt. “Leave,” you managed to choke out, your voice coming out from your throat. It felt like your throat was lined with thorns, like the words you wanted to say kept getting caught.
Spencer nodded. “Leave? Yeah. Yeah, baby, we can leave,” Spencer grabbed your hand, tugging you along behind him as he murmured “excuse me, pardon me,” to the other patrons, to get through the crowd. Moving against the crowd was so much worse than standing still. All those eyes on you, seeing your red face and the anxious tears trickling down your cheeks. It was so embarrassing, freaking out like this is such a public space. Everyone thinks I’m a freak, you thought. Your anxiety became not about the crowd, but about your anxiety, about how you were being perceived. Your breathing picked up, quickened, and by the time Spencer led you out into the morning sun, you were fully hyperventilating.
The thoughts in your head were racing at the speed of light. You hated feeling nervous like this, but moreover, you hated that Spencer had to take care of you because of it. You felt like you had ruined the day because your head wasn’t on straight, because you couldn’t stand in a crowd of people and hear the cacophony of voices and tamp down your panic.
Spencer led you down the block, about twenty feet from the store, away from the crowd, and your breath was still coming out staccato, unstable as you looked down at your shaking hands. You were crying and hyperventilating and the whole world felt like it was spinning. Spencer kept his hold on your hand and stood in front of you, squeezing his palm against yours. His eyes, those light brown irises with little flecks of green, stared into yours. “Hey, Y/N,” he said, bending his knees so his face was level with yours. “Breathe with me, okay?”
You shook your head, your eyes clamping shut. You were so mad at yourself in that moment. You didn’t want to have Spencer take care of you, to have to drag you out of a bookstore because you were having a panic attack. “Baby, you’re trembling,” you heard Spencer’s voice laced with concern. “Look at me. We’ll get through this together.”
You opened your eyes slowly, and that’s when you realized your entire body was shaking. You looked into Spencer’s eyes and he released your hand so he could cup your face. His fingers anchored under your jaw, his thumbs rested on your cheeks, and his eyes were wide, full of worry, but his voice managed to stay soothing and calm. “Follow my breath, Y/N. Do what I’m doing, okay? In for four, hold for four, out for four.”
He inhaled for 4 seconds, and you tried to follow his lead, but you just couldn’t control your lungs. “It’s okay,” he assured you as your brows furrowed, presenting frustration. “C’mon, try again.” He inhaled for 4 seconds, and you managed to match him this time. “Hold for four,” you held your breath while Spencer counted. “And out for four,” you exhaled deeply. “Good, okay, let’s do it again.”
Spencer guided your breath for a few minutes, until you finally felt like you could do it on your own. And when you finally felt yourself coming down from the rush of panic that had sent you into fight-or-flight, you wiped at your wet eyes. “I’m sorry,” you croaked, and Spencer just shook his head.
“No,” he insisted, taking your hand and placing it on his heart. You could feel it beating through his long-sleeved t-shirt. “No, you don’t have to be sorry.” You rubbed your hand against his chest, finding it comforting as you hung your head. “Baby, look at me,” he requested, and you met his eyes.
“Please don’t ever apologize for having an anxiety attack, okay? For one thing, it’s not your fault. You can’t control the chemicals and waves in your brain and how your body reacts to situations,” Spencer began, his hand on top of yours that rested on his chest. You nodded, using the heel of your free hand to wipe away your tears. The crying was over, you were fairly certain, but god, did this suck. “You also should never feel ashamed for having a panic attack, Y/N. It happened, and we’re working through it. It’s a lot like boiling a pot of water, isn’t it?”
You let out a garbled sounding laugh and your brows furrowed. “How so?” You stammered out.
“Well, you set the pot of water on the stove, right?” Spencer began, and you nodded. “And then when it starts to bubble, that’s your anxiety. Some sort of external stimulant - the stove, or, in your case, the overwhelming feeling of being in a crowd - is causing the water to bubble. And when the external stimulant increases in intensity, so too does your anxiety. And sometimes, yeah, the pot boils over.” Spencer shrugged like it was no big deal. “But then you just turn the stove off, grab a dishtowel, and clean up the mess. Problem solved.”
You cracked a half-hearted smile. “So in this metaphor, you’re a dishtowel?” You asked, curling your fingers around the fabric of his shirt.
“Technically, I think it’s a simile, but yes,” Spencer grinned as he looked in your eyes.
“But the book,” you sighed, looking back at the bookstore, which was still filtering people in and out slowly. The patrons leaving the store clutched their new copies of the book in their hands, grinning and taking pictures with their phones, laughing with their friends excitedly.
“Do you want to get back in line and try again?” Spencer asked, and you bit your cheek pensively.
“I don’t think so,” you said softly, defeatedly.
“That’s okay,” Spencer said. You loved that he wasn’t coddling you, he was just feeling it out, seeing what you were up for. “Do you want to get brunch somewhere and come back? Maybe the line will have died down by then?”
You nodded, your lips curling into a small smile. “Yeah,” you agreed. You realized your hand was still over his heart, rubbing at his chest. Your movement halted and you retracted your hand, but before your arm could fall completely at your side, Spencer scooped your hand up and kissed the back of your palm. “What if we come back and they’ve sold out of the book, though?” You asked as Spencer walked with you in the direction of one of your favorite brunch places, just a short walk from the bookstore.
“There are twenty-two independent bookstores in the D.C. metropolitan area alone,” Spencer rattled off. “If this one doesn’t have it, we’ll drive around until we find one that does.”
“What article did you read that told you how many bookstores were in D.C?” You asked. You often liked to challenge him by asking him to cite his sources.
“No article. I did a search on Google Maps last night,” Spencer explained.
“What, because you knew I’d freak out when we walked into this one?” You asked him.
Spencer shook his head. “No, just wanted to have a contingency plan in case our first stop sold out before we got there.”
“Always thinking ahead, huh, Boy Wonder?”
“Damn straight.” A smirk formed across Spencer’s lips.
You shook your head. “You’re the best dishtowel a girl could ask for.”
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ask-whitepearl-and-steven · 3 months ago
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Is shattering permanent in the comic (especially with the force fusions and cluster) or can it be fixed down the line like future did? Asking for your opinion on this too bc I found out about it in Future and it makes me feel weird (bc now it feels like any SU stuff and shattering has no consequence or tension, so haven’t been able to read or write stories). Maybe I’m seeing this wrong? Would love your thoughts
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Hmm...
So to answer your first question: The comic for WDAU works on the same rules as canon does. I have no intention to over-write anything canon clearly stated to be true.
The ability to put back together shattered gems is definitely a part of that.
So yes, theoretically, even in WDAU, gems being shattered is not 'the end' because they can be eventually re-instated through the work of the diamonds, IF they someday decide to Change Their Minds like they did in the original series.
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That being said...
I want to talk a little bit about something you said, because it tickles my brain in an interesting way:
"now it feels like any SU stuff and shattering has no consequence or tension"
And the best way to talk about stuff, I've found, is to ask questions about our underlying assumptions. So my questions for you (all) today are:
For us humans, death certainly IS a constant that remains ever-permanent, and thus it's easy to compare it to shattering and draw that parallel... but is that a fair comparison?
In fiction, death is often circumvented and there still remains reasonable tension in things like magic-heavy worlds, vampire novels, sci-fi where almost any sickness is eradicated, etc. Is this not quite similar to what shattering is for gems?
Is the perceived permanency of shattering the only reason it feels like a heavy consequence?
Are there OTHER consequences of being shattered that make it just as interesting, if not more than, to be explored as a plot device?
Must there be an ever-looming threat of something horrible and permanent happening to make a story good?
There isn't a right or wrong answer to these questions, necessarily. I'm not posing these in order to lead you to a singular, 'absolutely correct' conclusion or way of writing.
For some stories, death DOES need to be permanent in order not to make light of what the characters go through! In some forms of writing, there IS no other way around that consequence.
But I daresay SU is not one of those stories.
Let me put it this way - 100 years ago, medicine had only BEGUN to develop into the thing we know it as today. Sure, there were therapies and treatments for diseases, broken limbs, poisonings, etc. Some of them were quite good, even! But overall, the death tolls back then from basic illness were MUCH higher than they were today.
Pnumonia, Malaria, Syphillis, Smallpox, Bubonic Plague, AIDS.
These were things that people died from, with near CERTAINTY, for the LONGEST time. They were considered the road to a permanent black screen.
And today? Even though they are still, without proper intervention, JUST as deadly, we now have new tools and vaccines to combat them. Hell, if you get vaccinated fast enough you can get bit by a rabid dog and live to tell the tale, unscathed! Rabies used to be a one-stop-shop to the afterlife.
Despite this, we still view these diseases with appropriate fear. They are still dangerous - in the right conditions.
In the right conditions, the consequences for a LOT of things can be permanent. If permanency is what you're looking for.
So alright, the Diamonds can heal shattered gems now. Booooring. How easy it is to fix any shattered gem! What a simple solution to anything tragic.
But................... will they ALWAYS do so?
In fact...will the Diamonds ALWAYS be around?
Will the gems who got shattered always be picked up, piece by piece, and be brought back to them, perfectly preserved? Or will they lose pieces of themselves along the way - literally?
And what NEW consequences can we think of, when we stop thinking of the permanency of death, and start thinking of the Impermanence of those tools that keep us here longer and longer?
Just food for thought. 👀
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yandere-wishes · 1 year ago
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He's Just Ken
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Summary: You're just Barbie, perfect on the outside, dead on the inside. He's just Ken, neither perfect on the outside nor on the inside. 
Author's note: I condone neither patriarchy nor matriarchy. But I do love exploring different forms of mental exhaustion and extreme emotional dependency.
Warnings: Mental abuse, dark mental headspace, mentions of suicide and self-harm (only if you read between the lines), yandere behavior, yandere Ken, 
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Not every Barbie has a Ken. Not one for herself anyway. Every Barbie knows a Ken, but that Ken most likely belongs to her friend, or her neighbor, or one of the other Barbies. Not every Barbie has a Ken, but every Barbie knows a Ken. You know one too, one with sandy hair and ocean eyes. And a look that longs for something more. You know a Ken who keeps his heart from breaking by crossing his fingers and praying to the Malibu sun. You know a Ken who's only happy if a certain Barbie looks his way. Or rather you knew. This was before the world fell apart. This was before he destroyed it. 
Ken returned without Barbie and the universe began to crack. It's fine you thought. It's fine you hoped. Ken -That Ken, the one who waited on the beach for hours on end until his Barbie walked by- returned from the real world preaching sermons on how the Kens were better, superior, the rightful rulers of Barbieland. How they didn't need the Barbies, how they no longer needed to settle for being treated as anything less than perfect. How they needn't be number two any longer. Ken returned without Barbie and the universe wept. 
You've always known the real world was a messed up place. It had become evident when the thoughts started to creep in. That was years ago-albeit you'll admit you have no idea if Barbie years and human years aligned- years since you started to feel like a constant failure. Years since that harrowing voice began screeching endless dreadful thoughts into your cranium. Notions that festered your mind and heart, tiny maggots that chewed away at your soul. There was always something wrong and it was somehow always your fault. Then came the pain. Horizontal pangs that shot across your arm. Always in the same spot, always in a cluster of three. Barbies don't feel pain as intensely as humans, at least they're not supposed to. 
 You worried for your human back then. You truly did. But you were always too scared to leave Barbieland. Never brave enough to go find her. She's fine you hope...you doubt it though. 
You also refused to go see Weird Barbie. Too scared of being labeled as anything less than perfect. So long as these thoughts merely remained inside you and no outward defects began to show, you would be fine. You could just pretend like everything was as perfect as it always had been. 
Ken came back from the real world unscratched. Yet his words hit a chord within every other Ken. They began to take over. The Barbies were reduced to accessories. Pretty little things that clung to their lovers. Dressed in short skirts and maid outfits. Turned into what they weren't. 
Ken destroyed what once was perfect. Yet all you could think as you watch the pillars of your homeland cripple and your friends descend into madness. Was how utterly beautiful he was.
The world turned upside down. 
Barbieland fell.
Kendome rose. 
And yet as everything the Barbies had worked all so hard to build came crumbling down. As your friends and neighbors began to lose themselves and submit to a tyrannical patriarchy. You found yourself utterly unaltered. Your world had been destroyed long ago. This was just another calamity that you would fake your way through. It would be easy, a lifetime of practice finally paying off. Stay quiet, stay in the shadows, no one would notice.
No one was supposed to notice...
Ken found you on the beach one night. A day or two after the hostile Ken takeover. He walked up behind you out of breath as if he'd been running. 
The bonfire crackles, a warning, and a love song. Until now you'd only ever existed in his sideview. An afterthought as he impaled his heart and called it love. You had burned yourself in his rays and called it love. You're convinced neither of you knows what love truly is. The moon's rays dance as you two sit side by side. In the distance, you see Blue Mermaid Barbie and Mermaid Ken share a tender kiss. An unparalleled sight. 
Ken sits next to you. Eyes following your every move. Scanning every dip and curve of your plastic corpse. He's just Ken you remind yourself with an uneasy breath. He's just Ken, nothing to fear. Although you're not entirely sure if those old ideologies shine through. He's Ken but somehow he's become unstable at worst, flammable at best. Something radioactive ticks inside of him waiting to detonate. Waiting to make the world feel a trace of his pain. 
Ken's fingers intertwine with yours as waves of helplessness crash across your body. You were created to be ethereal yet all you see is perfection molded in the shape of Ken's face. He leans in, carelessly placing his chin in the subspace of your neck as he whispers. "I see the way you look at me" his warm breath tickles the shell of your ear. You flinch, in time with the breaking of the waves. "I know you want me" Reality blurs when Ken touches you. He pulls you between his legs as his lips kiss the back of your neck. His fingers run up and down your arm as if he's trying to memorize your shape, your soul, you. It's romantic you think but all you feel is puka shell shards stabbing your flesh. You know he's dreamed of this intimacy with the other Barbie. 
you wonder if in his eyes you are merely a ghost. One he resurrected with desperate love and a broken heart. You wonder if he sees her, feels her, wants her. Yet he'll settle for you. The next best thing. The other stereotypical Barbie. Somewhere along the line, your own voice sounds, foreign to you. He's talking, his voice is smooth like silk. Fragile like window glass after a bombing. He asks you something, something you've dreamed of for all so long. He asks you to be his bride wife. You agree despite how degrading it sounds. 
What once was a pink haven of fun and joy has now been turned into a mess of horses and black sunglasses. Barbie's dreamhouse is now Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House. You feel like an intruder, like a traitor. You feel loved, wanted, needed. Someone once told you that truths can co-exist. It's all you can think to save yourself from going mad. 
There's an unspoken easiness that comes with being with Ken. The way he's always around. His hands never leave you, tracing stars on your arms, running through your hair. He wants his presence to be felt. 
"I like this" you confess one night as you rest your head on his arm. "I've always felt...less than perfect. Like I couldn't be good at anything like the other Barbies." Ken laughs and it feels like the stars have cladded you in their warmth. He pinches your nose with a soft smile. "I know the feeling," he mutters and you feel your heart crack. "But you don't have to worry about that. I'm here and so long as you're with me. We're both going to be perfect." You snuggle into his chest as you close your eyes. "Ken and Barbie" you sing, a mantra, a prayer. One for a better future. One for a happy life. 
You have a dream house. Had one at least. You sometimes wonder which Ken lives there now. You wonder if his Barbie feels your presence radiating off the walls and the floor and the heart-shaped night lamp you once treasured. You certainly feel Stereotypical Barbie's presence echoing from every corner. You see her ghost whenever Ken pulls you onto his lap to watch a horse flick. Infuriated and distressed. You wonder if she's angry because you didn't join the rebellion. You wonder if she's angry because she thinks you took Ken away. You see her ghost again, feel her between the pause of two breaths. She glitches and fades as you hide your face in Ken's mink coat. 
"I don't like being apart from you" Ken claims as he lays your body on top of his. One hand dangling off the couch the other curling your loose locks. To Ken a touch away feels like being galaxies apart. You kiss his chin and his cheek and his nose and finally his lips. It feels like a dream. One you refuse to wake up from. 
Ken is gold.
Unmetable and solid.A kaleidoscope of hope
He has so much potential rotting inside of him.
Ken is gold.
Beautiful and everlasting.
His value lies in how pretty he is. How good of an accessory he's willing to be. 
You wonder if he's sick of being gold. 
You felt Barbie's ghost again today. This time looming and aggravated. She wants her presence acknowledged. She has something she needs to say. Ken was out, one of the rare times you two spend apart. Something about a beach off and rock paper scissors. 
You wonder if a ghost haunting is their way of showing love. 
You wonder if the Kens starting a rebellion is their way of showing love. 
Barbie talks for ten minutes straight. You cling to every word, you forgot how much you missed the Other Barbie's voice. It's in the final beat of her sentence that you notice she's not a ghost. Not this time. This is Barbie, the girl who had been your friend since the day you left your box. "Help me" she pleads as she grabs your shoulders. "We need to fix this", you turn your head and smile a broken smile. "I can't" you confess. 
It's easy to undo brainwashing. Even easier to reinstate it. What Stereotypical Barbie and her friends can undo. You can simply redo. Even Barbies prefer ease, a few simple half-truths sung into the right ear at the right time. And the once normalized Barbies are running back to their Kens. You turn, in the rays of the golden sun, you see Barbie. Her eyes hold glimmers of unshed tears. She wears her betrayal on her pink sleeve. "Why" she whispers as her fingers reach out to hover over your heart before she retracts them. You think you may have burned her. You think she's afraid of being plagued by your depravity.
You feel like a traitor, like a monster. A creature made of pink lipgloss and shattered vows. should Kendom fall, you know your delicate dream life will fall with it. You stare into her eyes. And the words that leave your mouth feel so rehearsed, yet you swear it's the first time you've uttered them. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you both when you went through hell. I'm sorry I wasn't there when the world collapsed and you ran from the debris. I'm sorry I can't help you pick up the pieces and rebuild what once was yours.., ours. I'm sorry I'm so selfish". 
Immortal hearts are cursed with the loneliest beats. Maybe that's why the other Barbies never bothered to ponder their endless existence. Maybe that's why the Kens always clung to false promises of love. Maybe saying I love you is the same as saying I'm letting you go. Stereotypical Barbie has already reached this conclusion, you know this. For a fraction of a juncture, she looks into your eyes. Trying to reason and plea and hope all in the same breath. When you say nothing more her eyes shine with grief as she turns on her heels and runs for the hilled house. You reach out to her, yet only grasp the warm Malibu breeze. 
What do you call a person such as yourself? 
Coward...
That sounds about right. 
Ken kisses your neck, and it feels like lava sprinkling along your skin. You feel like a defeated soldier drowning in a sea of guilt. Survivor's guilt a voice echo inside your head familiar yet all so distant. A ghost from a past life or a current one unseeable to you. "I have it too" the voice replies. You wonder if it's the voice of an angel or a mortal girl. You don't tell him about the Barbie resistance or how easily they can reverse the brainwashing. You work best alone anyway. 
You hear the word death replay in the background as Ken bites a sensitive spot. A faint noise, a haunting whisper. You hear the word death and it sounds more familiar than the name Barbie that has rolled off your tongue every day since birth. 
Ken harbors you inside the once was dreamhouse like a forbidden secret. Sometimes the skirts feel too short. Sometimes the world feels too heavy. You always feel the eyes of the other Kens on you. You think Ken planned it that way to show the Ken world who you belong to. Just last week he took you to the beach. Both of you wearing matching pastel blues and silver earrings. Other Ken was there also adorned in pastel blue and silver earrings. You see the twitch in your Ken's jaw, the icy glare when Other Ken waves to you. "Let's go," he says, commandes really. He throws you over his shoulder and you're heading back the way you came. "I really wanted to see Mermaid Barbie..." You pout. "No no, you wanted to see a movie remember?" Ken corrects you, to be honest, he does that often. You're starting to doubt you even know your own wants anymore. 
Today Ken has you dressed in a pink and white dress. You remember Setrotypical Barbie use to love this dress. You run around the kitchen cooking a pretend dinner. You really want to go shipping, to pick out something you'd like. A rose pink Lolita skirt and a matching button-up. You really want to die. Although that's normal you always want to go shopping. You always want to die. You wonder if Ken will ever let you pick out your own dresses. You leave his plate in front of him as you loop your arms around his neck. You rest your chin on his head as he pulls you closer. Not picking your own clothes is a small price to pay for the intimacy you've craved for far too long. 
"Never has there ever been a girl as pretty" Ken whispers as he relishes in your presence. 
"Do you have any idea what you are?" He rasps, his lips hovering over yours. You're both sitting on the bed, watching the sun die for the day. 
Ken is a monster. At least that's what you're supposed to think. You have something in your mind something that squirmes around in what can only be described as reason. To call it wits and a conscious would be an overstatement. Lucide is a better word. Weak and brittle yet somehow still standing. Deep inside, your heart refuses to call Ken anything other than hero, savior, salvation. 
"I'm yours" it's the first truth that's left your mouth in a long long time. You cup his cheeks and kiss him with all the doom and gratitude that lies within you. And Wow Ken tastes like mint ice cream and shooting stars. Like dead dreams that lay on the tip of your tongue. He's the beach at night and the evermore gardens during the day. He's everything good and confusing and painful and sweet. Ken nibbles your ear, playfully, and coos sweet words into your soul. Spinning tales of how you'll be together forever. You soak in his presence, rolling his name around in your head. You keep your head filled with him before your own thoughts give you a heart attack. 
You're Barbie but now you are so much more than that. You're his Barbie. Ken's Barbie. Damaged yet simultaneously perfect. And he's perfect too, mesmerizing when the sun's rouge rays kiss his pretty face, bathing him in golden ichor.
You wonder if perfection and imperfection have always been in love. 
 Sometimes in the dead of night, you think of the little girl playing with you. Albit she isn't a little girl anymore, is she? Kids grow up. clawing and biting through the painful transformation. Sometimes it leaves their minds fragmented. Sometimes it leaves them less than whole. 
Judging by how long it's been, your little girl is grown up by now. You close your eyes and give Ken a final kiss before sleep overtakes you. You hope she's okay, even though you know that can never be true. Being "okay" doesn't seem to be a real thing in this universe. 
Because girls are broken and the universe knows this 
Because boys are broken and the universe knows this 
Because the universe does nothing. Just sits there and watches as life bends and breaks itself over and over again
Barbieland is broken too, imperfect and destroyed.
And so are the two of you. 
Yet in the end, it doesn't matter. 
For as broken as the world is the most important of things has been resolved. 
Ken has his Barbie.
And Barbie has her Ken. 
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bicheetopuff · 7 months ago
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(Ch. 336)
You know, this panel has always made me a little curious. Every other time we saw Izuku sparring with Katsuki (before the war started at least), he’d use blackwhip to defend himself, hence ‘catch-a-kacchan’ so I found it weird how Izuku didn’t even try to grab Katsuki. For like 100 chapters prior to this, he used blackwhip for everything and would eventually just leave it out incase he needed it quickly kinda like how Hawks utilized his feathers (when he had them) so I kinda just made a mental note about how weird it was that Izuku chose to evade instead of defend when he easily could’ve.
I also found it weird how quickly Izuku wanted to change the topic along with the distress on his face. I thought it was just a cheap and ooc way of explaining Todoroki’s new power quickly but, since it’s now confirmed that Izuku has PTSD about Katsuki’s sacrifice, what if Katsuki’s cluster move triggers that trauma response too?
The next time we see cluster used with Izuku present, Izuku actually does respond with blackwhip.
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(Ch. 404)
He doesn’t use it in defense though, he uses it in almost possessive way by securing their hands together with it. But also, he doesn’t speak for this entire chapter. It could be explained away by the side effect of using gearshift and him not being able to breath but before now, he’s been more focused while in distress and was also speaking just fine before. Though, in these panels, and through the entire chapter, he seems almost delirious and in shock. He’s not even reacting to the lack of oxygen anymore.
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He even starts ignoring Shigaraki in these moments. He’s stunned and mesmerized but now I’m starting to question whether he’s amazed or scared out of his mind for what might happen. With that uncertainty, all that I can say confidently is that he’s distracted.
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(Season 7 ep. 4)
Arguably after chapter 404, he stops thinking straight and, honestly, gets a little sloppy. A few chapters after this, is when gets danger sense stolen and starts getting truly injured. He makes the decision to give away OFA and loses his arms. He reverts right back into his “I don’t care what happens to me” mentality that his class has been trying to get him to grow out of for a while.
He wasn’t mentally prepared for something to go wrong in this fight. He wasn’t mentally prepared to be pulled away, leaving Katsuki with Shigaraki. I thought it was just iffy writing that he’d mentally regress after Katsuki woke up instead of before but, it honestly makes a lot more sense now. He cared about what happened to himself because he needed to stay alive to ensure Katsuki’s revival. Once Katsuki woke up and he watched him fight AFO, he started being reckless again. He went back to viewing himself as nothing but a vessel for OFA because he believes OFA is the only thing that can beat AFO, hence why he trusted the vestiges when they said “we can fight him from the inside” (which I think was a silly decision. It’s noble in theory but it amounted to nothing because Izuku can’t win in this regressive state of self sacrifice anymore. Or at least, he shouldn’t since it’s such a big part of his arc.).
And now, with the most recent chapter with most of his classmates present it seems like he’s regretting that decision because he’s being reminded that people care about him. They showed up to support him regardless of already being hurt because he can’t win on his own. Eri mutilated herself to help him and if that doesn’t tell him that fighting without the intent of not dying is stupid, idk what will.
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(Ch. 421)
He was about to just throw himself back into the fight with the same mindset as before if Aizawa didn’t stop him. He looks frustrated because he realizes the weight of what he’s been doing and how looking up to AM and the previous vestiges shouldn’t be his role models right now considering all of their fates. He’d just be continuing OFAs curse like Katsuki’s been worried about for a hundred something chapters.
In conclusion, this post was very unfocused but I can’t wait to see Izuku kick ass and for Katsuki to show back up because with the impact he’s had on Izuku, I DESPERATELY need them to talk. Most of this post may have very well been a stretch but, let me be delusional please.
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morganbritton132 · 1 year ago
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I read ‘zoomies with the kids.’ and assumed it was one of the boys running around the house with the fur babies lol. I see it being Steve and Eddie watching on found but annoyed because Steve is zooming in socks on the hardwood floors and head injuries…
Can I just say how happy this series makes me? I love these two and the world you’ve made for all of the party; your posts always brighten my day. Thank you for sharing them and for letting Eddie and Steve survive and be happy <333
First, I just wanna say thank you for the kind words! I think this little world is a group effort and I really appreciate everybody that throws their ideas into the ring and allows me to build upon them. It’s truly been the best even if I’m a lot slower at getting to them than I used to be.
No one considers how hard quarantine was on pets.
Some people have dogs that are trained to be around people and it’s weird for that to suddenly stop. Suddenly they aren’t going to school anymore or to the grocery store. Steve’s not doing trivia night or taking classes at the community center. They’re just home all the time now and Eddie is always with Steve so Ozzy just… doesn’t really have anything to do.
Not needing to be as vigilant as he is when Steve is more active, Ozzy’s left with an excess of energy and it makes him antsy. Much like his owners, he’s bored.
Joan gets stressed out if Steve is home when he’s not supposed to be because that usually means that there’s something wrong with him. The only time he’s ever been off work for more than a couple days at this time of year was when a medication switch caused cluster seizures. It takes a bit of time for her to get used to him being there.
The solution: They go on walks.
It calms Joan if Steve leaves the house for a bit and it helps Ozzy burn off some of that unused energy, and it also helps Steve who would otherwise be doomscrolling Facebook and thinking about Lucas at the hospital. He already had a semi-regular walking schedule for Ozzy a couple days a week but once COVID hit, they started walking daily.
Unless it rained. Eddie hates when it rains because…
Eddie looks visibly distracted during a zoom interview with the band. You can literally see him tracking something beyond the camera with his eyes because Steve is chasing their pets through the house, and they keep running by the room he is in.
Eddie finishes up what he was saying and then hits mute before shouting, “Stop running!”
Steve literally slides into the room on his socked feet, having to hold onto the doorframe when he lists too far over in one direction. He’s breathy and smiling when he asks, “Your interview over?”
“I’m muted,” Eddie says. “Stop with the zoomies before one of you get hurt because we can’t go to the hospital….Or, at least, take off your socks.”
“Why? So you can look my feet?” Steve asks, scrunching his face up with mock disgust. “Freak.”
Eddie can’t even formulate a response to that before Gareth’s voice is coming out loud and clear from his speakers, “Dude, you did not hit mute.”
“Shi-oot,” Eddie swore, looking away from Steve for just a second. He’s gone when he looks back up, already running back down the hall to play with the animals. He just shakes his head and asks, “We’ll cut this out, right?”
The interviewer asks if he has a roommate and Eddie is in the middle of trying to figure out what the funnier answer to that question is when he hears a loud crash. He nearly blows Gareth’s eardrum out with how loudly he shouts, “Did you fall?”
When this part is inevitably kept in the interview, you can hear faintly over Eddie’s mic, “I’m good!”
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manicpixiefelix · 10 months ago
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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}
Part 10.
Summary: The last few days of the year at Oxford! Celebrations to be had, but also you contemplate what may come next for Oliver once the semester ends. Meanwhile, in a brief moment of downtime, you try and discuss Felix's weirdness from before exam season, but he can and will try and seduce you instead of having a real adult conversation. But unfortunately he may have had a point, because that real, adult conversation fucking sucks.
{ masterpost }
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
Warnings: discussions of oliver's father dying, discussions of jealousy
A/N: 5623 words. wrote this directly after finishing ch 9. and then was like, what if i edited this. which means the ending of this chapter is COMPLETELY different to what it was originally, and is a bit of a downer. but we need conflict, you know? and sometimes its genuinely hard to have these adult conversations at like 21 years old. emotions and such. also there's a wizard hat. half edited then i completely rewrote the ending and that's absolutely unedited. how are we feeling about leaving oxford finally????
TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
----
It's always a big deal when the first years finish all of their exams and get their final results. Or, well, the rest of the students make a big deal about it. You're not sure who started the tradition, or how long ago, but it's a tradition you hold dear to your heart nevertheless. The first year of university is nothing if not overwhelming, survival of it was to be celebrated.
Last year the cheering crowd of your more senior students had made you feel like you had conquered the world. This year, you were bursting at the seams with excitement to be able to share in the tradition from the other side, especially since there were several first years in particular you wanted to celebrate with.
Everything about the tradition seemed tailor made for your brand of joy. It's bright bits of costuming and ticker tape canons, balloons and medals for the undoubtably exhausted first years. Clustered together by the main doors of the examination school, you and your friends press yourselves against the barriers that had been put up to give all the first years enough space. Still, front and centre, many of you, yourself and Felix included, had been handed medallions to give to first years, while the rest were all still clutching each other and giggling with excitement, reminiscing about how loved you'd all felt at this time last year, seeing everyone cheering for all you'd accomplished.
For the past few days since your exams had finished, those in your group particularly committed to the bit, you and Felix among them, naturally, had been frequenting as many of the local charity and party shops in town. Each of you were desperately searching for delightfully garish garments and props to wear and share.
The moment Felix had spotted the sparkly, pink cowboy hat on a mannequin, paired with a violently lavender feather boa, he'd clung to them like his life depended on him owning them, hearts in his eyes, absolutely refusing to let them go. On the other hand, the sailor hat for Ollie was your idea; something more understated for a man more understated than either Felix or yourself. While Felix wanted to protest, wanted to give him something a little more flashy, you thankfully got him to compromise by allowing him to pick your accessories. Which is how you ended up with a hot pink, bedazzled 'Mother Of The Bride' sash.
And a blue, pointy wizard hat.
Anticipation grew in the gathered crowd, all chatter and smiles and giggling as you waited for the doors to open. In amongst the growing noise, you turn the medal over in your fingers, gazing at it with pride, excited to be able to be the one to give it to one of your closest friends. You still have your own from last year, usually pinned above your desk, but right now in a box ready to be taken back to Saltburn for the Summer.
The moment you all heard the tell-tale creak of those large, wooden doors, the cheering began, and you're glad to be pulled from your thoughts and back into the moment. It grew into a cacophony, a roar of joy and delight as the ticker tape canons went off and the first years streamed out in a river of excitement.
Farleigh's always cut a defined figure in any crowd he's in, considering his height, but you'd also given him the heads up to look out for the blue wizard hat to find you. At first you saw him scanning the crowd, but it takes him barely a second to find you. He lights up, eyes fixed on your stupid hat, and he breaks away from the pack at a full sprint. He doesn't even let you give him his medal at first, he's laughing at the top of his lungs, reaching all the way over the barrier to pull you into a hug, almost dragging you over the railing. There's nothing to be said, only a joy that has gone beyond words.
"You're a wizard!" He finally manages amid laughter as he lets you go, leaning back to hold you at arm's length, taking in your whole outfit, "and," his head tips in further confusion, "mother of the bride?"
"And you're a first year graduate," you grinned, "do you want your medal, or do you have more important follow up comments about my outfit?"
"I several have follow up comments but- oh my god," his eyes go wide and he suddenly seems a little breathless, like it's only just properly hit him "I finished a whole year," there's a genuine quality to his voice that's not often heard from Farleigh; still half laughing, but it's almost disbelieving, full of hope without any hint of irony, "not, like, just a week, or a semester; a whole year. A whole year at Oxford University." Lowering his head, he finally lets you put the medal on him.
For a long few moments he holds it out in front of him with pride and joy in his eyes; a precious, rare sight for you to behold. Then, very suddenly, he grabbed your face, bringing you close with this intense, shocked look in his eyes.
"I topped three of my Lit exams," he hissed with actual disbelief, almost making it sound like a scandal, "I took a hit before my Modernism final and spent nine pages arguing that Trainspotting was Allen Ginsberg's Howl for the postmodern audience. I don't even know if I believe that. How was that the best essay they saw?"
"Farleigh," you chuckled, "you might actually just be very good at this." You gave his cheek a fond pet, but after a moment, a hand reached over to tug at Farleigh's shoulder, breaking your stalemate.
"Congratulations, mate!" It's Felix, all smiles, unsurprisingly, "why've you got that look in your eyes?"
"He took one of his exams stoned and still topped the class," you grinned slyly, before your gaze fell on Oliver. As if sensing this, Farleigh slid over to give Felix a proper hug and congratulations, leaving space in front of you for Oliver to step in with a shy grin. You tug on his sailor hat with a fond smile and he turns even redder.
"Congratulations, Oliver Quick."
"Thank you," his gaze flicks up for a moment, stifling a giggle, "wizard."
Puffing out your chest as you mock-straightened your pink sash you hold your nose in the air.
"And what of it?" You put on a faux serious voice. Oliver has to duck his head to hide how much he's laughing at the bit. Once you let it go and deflate, you do then gesture for him to come close, wrapping your arms around him.
"Proud of you, Ollie," you murmur, giving him a tight squeeze.
"Don't know if I could have done it without you and Felix," he admits softly.
"Of course you could have," you assure him with warmth as the two of you begin to pull away. Oliver's eyes meet yours, blue and intense and that same familiar searching that you're so used to by now that it's something of a comfort. For just a moment, you want to reach out, to touch him, to hold onto his gentle expression and this moment in your own two hands. You wonder if he can see it in your eyes too, can see you repressing that urge.
"Wouldn't have been half as good," with the smallest of smiles, just edging on knowing, neither his expression nor his tone gives away enough for you to know exactly what he could be meaning or referring to, if anything beyond general companionship. So you play it off, you let anything you might be holding onto, anything that might be too much for such a public forum, pass.
"Of course," you say loudly, blithely, tucking your arm in Felix's beside you to get his attention, "we're wonderful company!"
"What's this?" Felix turns, eyebrows raised as he looks between yourself and an amused Oliver.
"Just saying that Oliver's year is better for having met us," you say simply, airily.
"Without a doubt!" Felix agrees without any kind of hesitation. Farleigh rolls his eyes, but is laughing as he calls both you and Felix incredibly vain.
As the excitement begins to die down and everyone begins to filter out, your group begins to meander towards the road that leads off campus, with yourself, Felix, and Oliver trailing behind.
"What's next? I mean, what's the plan now? I know there's a thing tomorrow, but -" Oliver's tentative again, quiet and meek again, acting like he's on the back foot again.
"Step one," Felix begins matter-of-factly, "pub; celebrate; get shitfaced." You see Oliver glance dubiously at your foot-high, velvet wizard hat once more. He's been doing it a lot. You can't lie, you've gotten very attached to your stupid look for the day and do plan to keep it all night.
"Even with that?"
"I'm gonna die in this hat I've decided," you say easily, to which both boys snicker at your assertiveness on the subject. But soon enough, Oliver raises another question.
"And- and tomorrow, that's the- I heard there was an end of year gala," he hesitates as you and Felix both automatically confirm. It did not seem to soothe any of Oliver's nerves and he finally brought up, "It's black tie; I have a black tie - bow tie, actually - but I don't really have anything else that'll match the theme -" he babbles awkwardly, looking all kinds of mousey and small with his head bent like that, hands fingers twisting together in anxious shapes. Both you and Felix are quiet, stuck in thought, and it takes you closing your eyes for a few seconds, trusting your arm in Felix's to keep you on the right path, before it hits you.
"Walters of Oxford," you open your eyes, "on Turl street, I think," you pause for a beat, reconsidering, "maybe double check that." Squinting for a moment, you try and recall, "ten minute walk, I think? Depending on your route, I guess. Not far is the point." But when you look over at your companions, both are frowning at you, something incredulous in their eyes. "To... hire a suit," you explain almost sheepishly under their respective gazes.
"How did you do that?" Oliver asks softly.
"Why did you know that?" Felix adds, bewildered.
"Isn't it handy to know the best place to get good suits and expert repairs done?" You shrugged a little helplessly. However, as you let your gaze drift, you find yourself recalling something India had said about you always needing to be a step ahead, to always have contingencies in place so Felix need not ever be inconvenienced for too long. Whatever; you push the thought and India's past negative tone from your mind, telling yourself it's good information to have anyhow.
"Anyways, I was also looking into good places for suit hires, in case the worst happened, and wouldn't you know it, Walters does that too."
"I'll- I guess I'll head there tomorrow morning," Oliver says awkwardly.
Felix drops your arm for a moment, wrapping his arm around Oliver's shoulders, bringing him in close.
"I look forward to see you in a suit, Ollie," there was no mistaking the flirty tone he was using, and from the glimpse of Ollie's face that you could see around him, he was turning red under Felix's praise, "handsome man like you all done up," he trailed off, ruffling Oliver's hair before he let go, cheeky smile on his face and bounce in his step. He has to be aware of Oliver's nervous, starry-eyed gaze locked upon him, but Felix just strikes up a conversation with you, enquiring if you would be going in a suit or a dress.
"I'm going in a wizard's hat." You declared.
"I love this bit; you aren't even drunk yet!" Everything you do is worth it if it means Felix will look at you like this, with delight shining in his eyes and in his words.
The night - what you can remember of it - is phenomenal. Benji calls you Archmage of the Bride and it's the only thing anyone refers to you as for the rest of the night, everyone else loudly correcting anyone who gets it wrong. Aside from that, everyone is babbling and bright and so enthusiastic about the gala the following night and what they'll be wearing.
Oliver is quiet, tucked in between you and Felix, nursing his pints longer than anyone else. Felix's arm is around him, as it always seemed to be, and as the night goes on, more and more you get the urge to tip your head and rest it against Oliver's for several long moments at a time.
But there's something different about tonight. Oliver doesn't reach out to you, even subtly. His thigh against yours is forced proximity, but his hands are always on his drink and his ankles are crossed beneath the table. Whenever he looks away, you start to notice that it's not at you; Felix seems to hold his attention more than anyone else, but on any other night, that wouldn't really surprise you. You want to ask what's wrong, but by the time you realise something is, you're not sure you're even capable of stringing two coherent words together.
You think back on what he'd said on the way to the pub, his voice small and nervous.
What's next?
You ponder as you leave the pub with several others in the group, thinking hard. Had he meant more than just the immediate? Your next was Saltburn, Oliver's next was... ah. Junkie mum and no dad.
Someone sticks a finger in your ear. Immediately you jump and clutch protectively at your hat -
"Fuck off 'm wizard!"
"I'm seeing if I can feel your thoughts, they look serious," Farleigh, somehow more sober than you, is still cackling. Your drunk mind doesn't like that he's laughing at you, even if it's an objectively funny situation, and you spend the rest of the short walk stomping and pouting, with Farleigh laughing and calling you ridiculous the entire time.
You awaken on the second last day of living on the Oxford University campus for your second year, with an absolutely killer headache. You don't remember getting back into your dorm, but apparently your drunken self was kind enough to steal an entire pitcher from the common area and fill it literally to the brim with water. Far less had spilled on your bed side table than you'd anticipated.
What you do remember, however, is the numerous thoughts you'd had about Oliver. Both last night, and over the past few weeks. As you take some painkillers and drink water out of the pitcher, you gaze across your room to few newspapers you've had sitting under a pile of textbooks since the second week of exams.
It's almost midday. Taking the papers, you pack yourself a bag of whatever you'd need to get ready for the gala on top of your little project, and pull your garment bag from your wardrobe. Swinging past the on-campus café, you pick up arguably too much food for you and Felix to share before the event, then heading to his dorm.
"Get fucked," Felix shouts through the door, muffled probably by his pillow, when you knock.
"Felix, open up!"
"No! What time is it?"
"Midday!"
"Fucking midday?!"
From behind you, one of the doors flies open and one of Felix's scowling dormmates spits for you to shut up or fuck off.
"Grow up or eat shit; it's the afternoon," you flip him off with a scowl. The door slams shut. Immediately you turn and kick Felix's door. When he opens it, he does not look happy. In return, you smile sweetly at him, thanking him with the most saccharine tone you can manage.
"Brought us food," you offer, as if trying to placate him, but instead Felix pointedly falls face first upon his bed, pulling his pillow over his head in defiance. Just glad to be finally let in, you potter around his room quietly, carefully avoiding his boxes of already packed belongings.
Putting all the food on the table, you start on some of it yourself as you keep working almost silently. You hang your garment bag up next to his, put your nice shoes by his door, put all your accessories and other things you needed to get read in their own, distinct pile on his dresser before you settle yourself in his desk chair, pulling out one of the newspapers and carefully going through it.
The Liverpool Echo.
Your eyes flick briefly over the articles, not really paying any of them much real attention, at least not until you got to the obituaries. These you scoured. Names and faces and dates and sweet words about caring, loving people who you neither knew nor cared for. No Quicks. Next paper.
It takes you quite some time; you're thorough and you'd gotten quite a few day's worth from around the time Oliver had found out the news about his father in case it had been reported earlier or perhaps a few days later. Prescot didn't have it's own newspaper, but the lady at the news agency you'd phoned to order them assured you that the Liverpool Echo was received by the people of Prescot too.
"Are you reading the paper?" Felix's voice actually makes you jump, having so engrossed yourself in your reading, forgetting he was still there. Looking at the clock, then at him, you see him still looking groggy, but more bemused than anything. Then, after a beat, he looks to the pile of ones you'd already gone through on the floor by your feet.
"Food's cold," you told him, going back to your reading.
"Why are you reading the paper?" Propping himself up, he begins to stretch and finally, properly wake up for the day.
"Been thinking about Ollie," you tell him with a distracted air, folding up the paper in your hands after a minute more of poring over it, adding it your growing pile despondently. Thankfully, instead of making a snide comment, Felix yawns, asking you what exactly you'd been thinking.
"I know he said he's fine, but his dad still passed," you said softly, gazing at the small stack you're still yet to read, but feeling no urge to pick any more up, "and he hasn't been home, and when he gets home, I don't know..." you sighed, sitting back and looking at the ceiling, a kind of ache in your heart that you hadn't expected, "I wanted to try and find his obituary, to see if anyone said any nice things about him, but I'm not having any luck."
"I don't think he was the kind of man who had obituaries written about him," Felix tells you with a kind of resignation, "but I get that it's one of our last days," he extrapolates, voicing your intentions as easily as if he could read your mind, "and you want to try and give him a nice moment, to show that people care about him, before we, you know, fuck off for a month and a half and leave him."
"Grim, when you put it like that," you hummed, "but yeah, essentially." Felix made a noise of sombre agreement.
Finally, however, he rose from his bed, slowly meandering over to the desk and picking through the food you'd brought. For a long few moments he idly flicks through the few papers you had left on his desk, carelessly shoving each over as he doesn't even open them.
"What about that rock thing my family does?" Mouth half full of a sandwich and leaving the papers alone, his curiosity over them apparently sated, Felix sits himself on the floor by his bed, knees drawn up to his chest as he contemplates, "doesn't have to be all that serious, can be just about saying goodbye and letting go. Closure and shit, you know?" He swallows, looking at you with bright eyes, as if waiting for you to validate his idea, "like we did with my dog when I was a kid."
"That's actually a very sweet idea; I think he'd love that coming from you," you slowly begin to smile as you turn the idea over in your mind. Felix, however, wears a look like he's almost confused, but you can't begin to imagine what until he opens his mouth -
"What do you mean 'coming from me'?" Despite his apparent vague distaste for your wording, you can't help but laugh, rolling your eyes.
"Ollie would love the idea of lighting a bag of shite on fire on his mother's doorstep if the suggestion came from you; I'm saying it's a lovely idea, and he's very fond of you, it'll mean a lot to him."
Quiet filters in with the sunlight. You watch Felix, Felix watches himself pick at his nails.
"Very fond of you too," it's completely and totally neutral. It's also a fucking loaded statement if you've ever heard one come out of Felix's mouth.
"Felix." When he hears the warning notes in your voice, you know he pretends not to.
Reaching over to his bedside table, the unnecessary arc of his arm has him catching the light, muscles lean and taught with his effort to not otherwise move. Heat of the day had already begun to infiltrate the room, but this angle and the light makes the beading sweat along his skin glow; he's always been able to take advantage of a hot day in a way you've never seen of anyone else. Felix, of course, knows exactly what he's doing. Felix learned long ago how to perform at the drop of a hat; no-one was better at objectifying him than he was if he wanted to, "don't do that," you mutter, knowing that even you weren't immune to the way he could manipulate people's eyes upon him.
"What?" It's too innocent to be anywhere near truthful. You see the edge of a smirk before it disappears behind a cigarette and his sudden, aloof façade.
"We haven't talked about what happened," you tried, you really did, "we swept it under the rug for Ollie's sake, and then we had exams, and we -"
Felix lights his lighter, head angled so he can look up at you through his lashes, so his hair falls and curls and turns gold in the flickers of the lighter's faint fire. For another second he holds your gaze, confusing and teasing all in one; like he adores you, but like it's a challenge. Then he moves again, poses again. One leg up, one leg stretched out in front of him, cigarette resting so lazily between the fingers of the hand that he rests on his thigh, plays a staccato beat with his fingers against his bare skin. Nudity was never taboo between you, so why were you losing your train of thought over Felix in his boxers, a sight you'd seen arguably a hundred times before.
Looking anywhere else on him doesn't do you any favours, the beautiful body you've marked and called yours - jealousy, right, that's -
But his head tips back, falling back against his bed as smoke rings rise from his lips and the column of his throat is caught by the light. When his tongue darts out to wet his lips, you catch only the briefest flash but he knows you can fill in the rest, knows you see the way his adam's apple bobs as he swallows.
"You know we need to talk, otherwise you wouldn't be doing this."
"Doing what?" He shifts, legs spreading a little wider, and when he looks at you, he's wearing that smile you've seem him turn on countless girls before, teasing, flirting, look in his eyes like he's getting high of of the very idea of you. Lips quirking into a cocky smile, he raises his cigarette to his lips, watching you with an almost lazy kind of arousal. Like every girl he's looked at like this knows they could get him in bed without even trying, without even knowing they were being seduced, "something wrong, love?"
And it's fucking working.
"Fuck, Fi," you have to close your eyes, putting your head in your hands. He laughs and it sounds like fucking syrup, all teasing and warmth, but you can't fucking do this right now; "are you trying to get me in bed just because you don't want to talk about the fact that you were obviously jealous of Oliver?"
This silence is far more bitter, as is Felix's tone when he finally speaks.
"What would I have to be jealous of?" Sounding like a man in denial.
"That Oliver is good to me without needing you as an audience," you push the heels of your palms against your eyes, words and thoughts escaping you that you didn't even realise you had. The next breath you takes shakes. Audibly. Felix clears his throat, but he doesn't seem to know what to say. Now that you've said it out loud, you can feel your face beginning to heat up, tears stinging your tightly closed eyes, the way you begin to tremble.
"I know," you start slowly, carefully thinking about your words this time as you say them, "that you love me, Fi," it's gentle, reassuring, but frustrated nonetheless, face still in your hands. But your breath still shakes as you try and keep it level, "so I think part of you is- is scared that if I find someone who could love me," even the thought of your next words sit bitter and heavy on your tongue, so you have to take a deep breath, try and centre yourself, "without you," you pause, swallowing hard, feeling traitorous tears escaping you, "that I might realise I prefer- prefer that, or something," here is where you start to break, where your voice cracks and you can't keep your hands against your eyes so all you can do is hang your head and hope he doesn't see your tears, "but you've spent all your time assuming, and pouting, and thinking badly of a good friend, and you haven't even asked me!"
Finally, Felix speaks, his voice weak; he sounds moments away from tears.
"I made you cry."
You hadn't even realised how far beyond Oliver this went, how tightly you'd been holding onto this, these thoughts and feelings, keeping them coiled in your chest, until just now. Hearing his words, your crying finally becomes audible, even to you, even if you hadn't meant it to. Today was meant to celebrate, not... this.
"I don't-" he voice catches in his throat, and you hear him sniffle softly, "I don't know if I can ask you that." He admits. Finally, when you look up, you see his expression carefully neutral, looking over his shoulder with both his knees drawn up to his chest. God he can't even look at you.
You know Felix Catton too well; he is terrified.
In the moments that follow, you slowly pull yourself together. You dry your eyes, and nod, while trying to school your expression into something lighter.
"Okay, Fi," you tell him, and try to make sure he knows you're being sincere, "it's, um," you sniffle as you try and smile, "it's a loaded question, I know."
When he bites his bottom lip as subtly as he can manage, you know its to try and keep it from wobbling. There's guilt written all over his face as he watches you move around his room. He doesn't get up, doesn't move, just watches and listens.
"I'm -" you take a deep breath, looking around the room and forcing a smile, "I think I'm going to get ready for tonight with Farleigh, is that alright?"
"Yeah, 'course," he says, as if on autopilot. After a beat, as you collect up your things, Felix finally looks around his room, at the boxes and the things you'd brought with you. Suits, matching and side by side in his closet, bought alongside a third in the set for Farleigh that you know he'd be wearing tonight too. You take it out, lay it over a taped-up box full of his books, ready to go, and finish collecting up your accessories.
"You should talk to Ollie," you tell him, double checking your bag, unsure of how you were managing to act like everything was suddenly okay. Felix nods, watching you once more, gaze a little glassy, far away and looking almost lost, almost guilty again. Part of you is desperate to stay, to comfort him. But as much as he may want it, it's not what he needs in this moment.
"Fi, are you listening to me?" You asked, firmer this time, and he seems to surface from whatever thought's he'd been stuck in, giving you a faraway smile as he nods; it's almost believable, "I know you care about Ollie," you say warmly but firmly, "please talk to him," wetting your lips, you deliberate on your way to the door, picking up your garment bag, "be good to him; Ollie's the only audience that matters there."
"Does this change..." Felix is looking at the floor when you finally make it to his door, "us?"
"Are you still jealous of Ollie?" You try to make it sound joking, since you were pretty sure of the answer, though Felix shakes his head with a frown.
"No, 'course not," he mutters, almost as if to himself, but he doesn't seem to have finished his thoughts on the matter, so you give him a moment; "I've been an asshole, haven't I?" He finally mutters looking out across his room, "a right asshole to someone who's only ever tried to be a bloody good friend to me."
"You kind of have," you agreed easily, and Felix finally looks at you again, the slightest furrow in his brow. There's nothing particularly, prominently beautiful or posed about Felix in this moment; he'd dropped the pretense long ago.
Looking at him now, looking up at you with those helpless eyes, all folded up and far smaller than he usually appeared, all you can remember is the kid afraid of scary movies and his sister's Goosebumps books, who'd stayed up late with you when you'd cried your eyes out in your first year of Secondary school when your parents missed your birthday again, who never let you forget how much he loved you, even for a moment, since you'd met. Your best friend. Always.
"I wish you'd just trust how much I love you too, Fi," voice and expression softening. Slowly, Felix stands, makes his way over to you, wrapping you up in a hug.
"I do, and I will better next time," he mumbles faintly, apologetically, "'m sorry."
There's something melancholy about still parting ways, even after his apology, but both of you seem to know that it's for the best.
Farleigh is glad for your company, and you do a good enough job of appearing alright that he doesn't seem to pick up on the strange mood you can't otherwise shake. Still, you're quiet, Farleigh talking enough for the both of you in between a range of CD mixtapes he'd put together for his own enjoyment.
On your way into the gala itself, you're ahead of Farleigh by a few paces, eager to get in and get yourself a drink, but you brush past Oliver, waiting, looking, as always, out of place. When you tell him he looks lovely, you can't bring yourself to meet his eyes, and barely stay, while you hear Farleigh, behind you, taking his time with antagonising your poor friend.
Felix is leaving the event as you're arriving. He almost crashes into you, bottle of champagne clearly stolen from one of the tables, in one hand as he's running from the venue.
"Hey, hi," despite both your best efforts, there is still clearly some discomfort in the air between you. Felix's eyes roam over you, almost out of habit, but there's an appreciative look in his eyes as he meets your gaze once more, "I think, I, uh, I'm going to skip this one and hang out with Ollie," almost like he's trying to invite you. But after everything, this can't be something you do; this isn't your tradition, this isn't your moment to share with Oliver. He'll never get it.
He's Felix Catton; he's the sun.
"He's going to enjoy that so much more than hanging around here," you smile brightly. Felix looks a little surprised, a little put out that you had apparently not picked up on his offer, or that you had and had decided to decline.
"Yeah, I- I thought so," he almost seems a little stunned by how cold this interaction was between you, compared to the usual, boisterous comradery you shared.
"Have a good night, Fi," finally, you kiss his cheek and slip into the entrance hall of the gala building, weaving through beautifully dressed students to find your gaggle of friends for the night. Throughout the night, you get asked where Felix is, and you shrug with a blithe smile every time.
My Felix <3: i invited ollie to spend summer with us
Tomorrow you would be okay.
Tonight, however, you planned to dance with your friends, drink enough that you either stop feeling so weird in your damn brain, or feel perhaps even worse, and probably end up crying.
Tomorrow everything would be okay again.
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flagellant · 2 years ago
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A list of basic Tumblr etiquette quirks that might not be obvious for newer Twitter refugees:
If you have a funny addition to a post but aren't sure if it's REALLY funny, a safe bet is to drop it in the tags. If it was good enough, your followers will screenshot or copypaste the tags into the reblog in a form of peer-review.
It is common courtesy to make sure you cite the tag maker when you do this.
Right now there's an average of 2 likes to 1 reblog for any given post. You don't gotta reblog everything you like/LikeTM, just make sure you're reblogging things, especially art by OP.
If you get Anon hate just block them unless it's funnier.
Get the extension Shinigami Eyes, which is a community-run way of marking out TERFs. That said, the system isn't foolproof and so you should still learn transmisogynist dogwhistles like you were gonna anyway.
You can press B to suck her dick on Sunday.
Call-out posts and call-out blogs will always be made with the motive to try and make you believe that the person being called out has done something heinous. Don't just blindly assume this, people lie on the internet and so do your due diligence.
For the love of fuck, please don't say shit like unalive if it isn't being ironic.
Just get weird with it. Cringe is dead and you have a Tumblr account. We are all just gay little tube worms clustered around deep sea sulfuric vents soaking up the content and looking sort of phallic while we're at it.
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otomes-world · 6 months ago
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Six impossible things before breakfast
Little twist with sentient twst au, yes, I didn't expect this either. Masterlist with more works here
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We've probably all heard the joke about "How many light bulbs does it take to (insert whatever)." Who would have thought that you would use a slightly modified version of it: how many more coincidences must happen to realize the truth.
Although can anyone really blame you for not wanting to admit that you are a bunch of colored pixels created purely for entertainment purposes? No, it even sounds nice. After all, your purpose was to create extras, a stage on which the main characters performed and shone. Those who had faces.
Did you always have yours? Could you always see it in the mirror in the morning?
Did figurative shivers run down your spine every time a faceless classmate addressed you? One of ten, hundreds, exactly the same. Have the main bunch had the same problem? That's the question you'd been asking yourself lately. Did they shrug off empty, replaceable shells, or at least for a second consider them their equals?
Perhaps the question should have been asked differently. Was this in the order of things for them, because the thought of the incorrectness of worldly norms did not flash through their heads. Or it was something simple and very banal - they did not realize that they were part of the game.
Were you special? The thought was flattering, but it was stupid to start turning up your nose. Maybe the supreme programmer, like the smart guys from Ignihyde, could consider you a virus, a bug, an annoying nuisance, which can be gotten rid of in a couple of seconds. Click and that's it, your file would be deleted.
The idea that death could be more than just literal took you by surprise.
It all started with a strange feeling of déjà vu, with a strange cyclical nature of what was happening. How the seasons did not change according to the laws of nature or, on the contrary, lasted longer than expected. Sometimes you wondered what month was going on, at least by counting. Or how you couldn’t say with certainty what year of study you were in. When was your graduation? Would it ever come?
How many times did the main characters celebrate their birthday? How many times had you celebrated it? Did you celebrate it from the start?
Lessons
Breaks
Exams
Holidays
Lessons
Was there an end to this merging stream of eternal students? Was the dormitory assignment ceremony that important? How many real “first-year students” were admitted each year? Why couldn't your educational journey end? Time adjusted and obeyed an invisible force; it existed only when it was convenient for someone.
Catching the attention of the local spotlight and getting on stage was the best way to get labeled as a "bug" and ask to be removed. However, the main threat was only the erasure of memory.
The next discovery was doubt about one’s own “specialness.” When consciousness had nothing to do, it began to cling to different details, trying to look for differences in a series of events repeated in the film.
When you knew what to look for, small mistakes that were not noticeable at first glance stand out more than usual. A slight shadow of boredom on the faces of the main ones. Lack of interest in the educational process and exams. As if only one “exam” was important in a bunch of exactly the same events. When the first years of Heartslabyul signed a contract with Ashengrotto.
With new information in mind, it became easier to identify important “events” and track time based on them. By how many times they were repeated in the endless flow of time. Taking notes and somehow recording data was more dangerous than you thought, all that was left was to come up with methods known to you alone. For example, in a dorm room on the bedside table there was a cluster of glasses, each containing specific color of pencils.
Did your roommates start to think you were weird and obsessed with order and cleanliness? Their right. You didn't care what they thought, besides, they would forget about it with the coming of a new day.
In order not to completely go crazy, you began to peer into the “faces” of other students, trying to spot at least a feature that distinguishes one from another. Either this world was too lazy, creating copy after copy in every dorm, or there was no point in trying. If you somehow came to terms with the feeling of the meaninglessness of what was happening, then the appearance of one student in several places at the same time still caused rejection.
Disgusting
If this world was someone’s experiment, then why were events cyclical? If this was a cage, then where was the exit. If this was a prison, then who was being held in it?
You made a mistake in observing a person without magic from another world. Trying to figure out whether Yuu's "world" was truly different or just as much a part of predestination as everything around. Was “Yuu” really the main one or just an extra? You could have sworn they didn't have a face. At least such clear features as all the main ones. Just as there was no character, how in each of the repeating events they could behave differently.
It was a breath of fresh air in the routine of never-ending study. The watching of the only part capable of changing in the world, subject to the same rules.
That's why, when one of the main ones suddenly approached you, you thought you were dreaming. Whether it was possible to fall asleep in the simulation was another question. Usually you went to bed, closed eyes, only to open them the next second to the sound of the alarm clock.
"Can I help you with something?" You smiled politely, but was it worth it? Could the main bunch distinguish between persons different from their privileged group.
Hunt. Was that his name? You weren't completely sure. He was part of something forbidden, something to be avoided at all costs. Part of the three “don’ts”: don’t look for information;don’t mention; don’t give yourself unnecessary temptations. Returning to the present moment, he just looked into your eyes with his constant smile, as if trying to find confirmation of something.
Like a true NPC, you continued to stand, frozen in one position and waiting for his answer. Until awareness came as abruptly as his appearance in principle. He looked straight into your eyes. Could he see your face the same way you saw it in the mirror? How long ago? Could the rest of the main ones see you too?
A billion questions were spinning in head at the same time as you tried to come up with a suitable excuse and reason to leave. The changes turned out to be too unexpected and frightening. Perhaps with the advent of a new “day” everything would return to normal.
“Is there a knight in the world who is not ready to devote all his deeds to one and only one, if this opens the veil of secrets at least a little? Will it allow him to find out what thoughts are spinning in head?”
It's a pity he was not a knight. Even though each word was pronounced with a special intonation, you only thought about how much water there was in his speech. Unfortunately, saying this out loud was an unaffordable luxury.
"..Is that so?"
“You are right, an étoile (star), I may be not one of their noble number, but even so I am not able to deny their order.” You let him continue, mentally counting down the minutes until the bell rang for lesson. “I may not have a sword in sheath, but It won`t change a way I live! Your smile can make my whole heart melt. There isn't lie in way I felt”
“I’m not good at poetry, but the rhyme is lame, Sir Hunt,” if it’s there.
“You’re right, writing poems is just one of my hobbies, to which I devote my few free leisure hours,” he continued, as if your words didn’t hurt him at all. “I hasten to assure you that there was no malicious intent in my actions. This modest hunter only wanted to greet a new connoisseur of everything beautiful and interesting."
No matter how much you hate beating around the bush, doubts creeping in from randomly thrown words. Sometimes the phrases spoken directly were the most frightening. However, not wanting to part with your role as an extra - which was burdensome, but at the same time giving a semblance of freedom - you continued to pretend to be an NPC.
"Should I congratulate you?.. Congratulations!" Any member of the film club would envy your feigned sincerity. A bell in three, two, "I don’t dare detain you any longer.”
The unsaid `like you would me` hung in the air. You had to hold out for the few remaining hours until the end. Fortunately, the main one did let you go, but smile, saying that its owner knew everything in the world, left an unpleasant aftertaste. One that your intuition suggested would accompany you for the next days.
It's going to be a very long a few hours.
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cloudcountry · 2 years ago
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mushrooms and mayhem
Genre/Tropes: Mutual pining!! Jade uses a LOT of pet names!!
Summary: In order to get back at Octavinelle for messing with them, some Heartslabyul students stir up trouble for you. Jade, funnily enough, doesn't like that very much.
Author's Comments: BUCKLE UP GUYS I WROTE AN ANGRY JADE!!! I'VE BEEN WANTING TO WRITE ABOUT THE SIDE OF JADE WE DONT RLLY SEE THAT MUCH FOR A BIT SO HERE IT IS!!!!!!! He's also mildly uhhh possessive so yeah. There is physical violence here also so watch out for that!!
~~~~~
The leaves on your succulent were starting to shrivel.
Tilting your watering can towards the plant, you let the water pour and soak into the soil. Humming a tune to yourself, you watered the rest of them carefully. Setting the watering can down once you finished, you took some time to check on Jade’s mushrooms, which were growing right next to your succulents. He insisted on placing your plants right next to each other, and even though you didn’t understand his reasoning, you agreed.
(Succulents needed quite a bit of sunlight and very little water, while mushrooms needed darkness and a moist environment. They could not have been more different, but Jade made it work somehow.)
He was so cool.
The log seemed to have housed the new mushrooms beautifully, their little clusters slowly making their place in the rotting wood. You felt happy at his success, knowing how much Jade was looking forward to his mushrooms growing.
Taking out your phone, you took a quick picture of them and sent them to him.
Your mushrooms are doing great!!
A smile worked its way onto your face as the little bubble at the bottom of your text changed to read. Of course he had his phone on him, he always responded to your messages very quickly. The small typing bubble popped up in the other corner as you stared down at your phone, waiting anxiously for his response.
Thank you for checking in on them, Little Pearl. I appreciate it.
You squealed at the nickname, doing a little dance before clutching your phone to your chest. The nickname was something you adore, but had never quite gotten used to.
With hearts swarming around your head, you set the cloth back in place and picked back up your watering can. You might as well check on the rest of your plants too, since you had the time. You went to check in on your spider and snake plants, both of which seemed to be doing well too. You felt your spirits droop a bit when you realized you’d have to leave your little sanctuary, but cheered up when you realized that you could now go see Jade. Unlocking your phone again, you started to type out another text.
No problem! Anything for you!
You stopped, heat creeping up your cheeks.
Wait, was that too forward? What if he thought that was weird?
Steeling yourself, you didn’t hit backspace and kept typing.
I’m heading over to the Mostro Lounge to see you, so wait for me there!
Sending it, you started at your phone and waited for a response. You never had to wait long, and like always, he began typing quickly.
I’ll be looking forward to it.
This time he sent you a picture of your favorite drink, Floyd’s eyeball in the bottom corner of the screen making you choke on your laughter.
Apologies for Floyd. He insisted he say hi to you.
SHRIMPY COME QUICK OR I’LL COME GETCHA!!! >:3 !!!!! <333
Beaming at your phone screen, you savored the moment before slipping it back in your pocket. Placing the now empty watering can on the nearby table, you began your walk back to the front of the botanical gardens.
“Stupid…Gonna get them back…come on…now…nobody…”
Stopping in your tracks, you strained your ears to catch bits of the conversation. It seemed like they were talking around the area in which your succulents were, but they didn’t sound like Jade or Floyd. You began to move closer, this time slowly, holding your breath and silencing your footsteps just like Floyd had taught you during last year's Beanfest. As you peeked into the clearing in which your plants were, you took notice of three figures around Jade’s log.
“Hey, doesn’t the Prefect come around here sometimes to check on this piece of trash?” one student asked, nudging the log with his foot, “Aren’t they supposed to show up soon?”
“Nah man, they just left. I made sure to watch out for them.” another student answered, “This is the perfect opportunity to get back at those Octavinelle bastards. We shouldn’t waste it.”
You narrowed your gaze, eyes flickering over each of their figures. All of them were relatively tall. Two had brown hair, one was blonde. All of them were Heartslabyul students. You definitely hadn’t seen them around before, but you could ask Ace and Deuce about them if they did anything fishy.
The group circled Jade’s log, throwing off the black cloth, your eyes widened as one of them raised their foot, clearly about to smash the log to smithereens.
“Stop!” you yelled, jumping out into the small clearing, “What do you think you’re doing?!”
“Ack-! It’s them! Dude, you said they’d be gone by now!” one of them hissed, taking a few steps backward.
“Idiot, it doesn’t matter! They’re magicless, we can take them!” the one who had his leg raised over the log smirked at you, “What, you don’t want to see this log gets smashed? Is it important to you?”
“You want to get back at Jade, right? Well that log isn’t his! It’s my mushrooms. You’ll be destroying someone else’s things.” you lied, brain running a mile a minute to get his mushrooms to safety.
“Hm. I don’t believe you.” He snickered, stepping away from the log, “But hey, if we need to beat you up before getting to the main event, I’m game.”
You steeled yourself against the three students, sneakily removing your phone from your back pocket. A quick few taps and you sent your location to Jade’s phone. He knew where you were, but sending him your location would tell him everything he needed to know.
You were in trouble.
“Why are you so intent on destroying those mushrooms?” you asked, trying to stall for time so you could figure out a way to save them.
“What do you mean, why?” one of them scoffed, stalking towards you with a fearsome glare, “Azul messed with one of our friends. Cheated him out of a deal. We’re going to get him back tenfold!”
Azul doesn’t do that. He’s just smarter than the rest of you.
“Then go for Azul. Why go for the Leech brothers?” you furrowed your brow, “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“That’s none of your business!” he yelled, leering at you as he got a bit too close for your comfort, “Quit talking and scram!”
“No. I can’t let you destroy my plants!” you shouted, holding your ground as your heart pounded in your chest.
“Grah! Whatever, just smash it!” he huffed, grabbing your upper arm harshly, “This bitch isn’t going to let it go.”
A loud smash echoed through the greenhouse before you could process what had just happened. Tears filled your eyes as you gazed upon the broken log, the mushrooms Jade tried so hard to grow scattered across the ground as the other two boys stomped mercilessly on them.
“You bastards!” you screamed, punching the one that grabbed you hard in the stomach.
He staggered back in surprise, clutching his stomach with wide eyes. His two companions began to laugh, cracking their knuckles as they surrounded you.
“Aww, did that upset you? Why don’t you run to Jade then?” the blond one mocked, pulling his fist back as if about to punch you.
You got into the fighting stance Vil had taught you, prepared to defend yourself so you could do just that.
“They don’t need to.”
That voice had never sounded so beautiful to your ears, the blood rushing to your brain and the adrenaline running through your veins doing nothing to stop you from turning your back on the enemy. Jade stood in the pathway, eyes dark with rage. You briefly registered one of the students grabbing you again as his eyes flashed dangerously,
“Oh my.” he hummed, stepping into the clearing, slowly taking off his gloves, one finger at a time, “It seemed I’ve stumbled upon a scuffle.”
“Jade, I’m so sorry. I tried to stop them-!” you called out,  squirming in the student’s hold, “I promise I tried.”
“I know you did.” he met your gaze, the rage giving way to something soft and affectionate for a moment, “Let me take care of this, dear.”
“So these were your mushrooms!” one of them shouted, putting his fists up as he eyed Jade, “This is to get you back for what you did to our friend!”
The one holding you yelled in agreement, tightening his grip on you and you tried kicking and punching and anything to get out of his hold and go to Jade.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I’d have to give you a good squeeze…and we wouldn’t want that.” he hissed, clenching his fists, “I don’t like it when people touch what’s mine.”
The first punch thrown was caught in Jade’s fist as he threw one right back. Your eyes widened at the display of strength from a man that always seemed so composed, often staying in the shadows and lurking while his twin started the fights. Watching him fight now, you were aware of the raw power he possessed, and knowing that power was being let loose to protect you made your heart seize.
The fight was over before you could even process what happened, the tight arms of the Heartslabyul student sliding away from your form as he rushed to defend his friends. You could do nothing but fall to your knees and watch as Jade’s dark eyes turned to you, the three students groaning in pain on the ground.
“I do hate getting physical. I’m sorry you had to see that.” he murmured, stooping down to your level, “Are you okay, Little Pearl?” 
“I’m sorry too.” you mumbled, falling face first into his chest as the adrenaline slowly left your system.
“Oh, sweet thing…” he hummed, petting the back of your head, “Thank you for trying to protect my mushrooms. Don’t put yourself in danger like that next time, okay?”
“I didn’t want to make you sad. I know you worked hard for them.” you said, peeking up over his shoulder at the three students, “I’m…I’m sorry it got to that.”
“It’s okay, dear. It’s not your fault at all.” he smiled, teeth sharp and dangerous, “They dared to cross me, and that is the treatment they shall receive. I can always grow more mushrooms, but I could never replace you. Please be more careful.”
You said nothing, opting to hold him tightly instead. He cooed comforting words into your ear, rubbing circles on your back.
“I’ll call Floyd over here to make sure they’re taken care of. Rest assured, they will not touch you or your plants.” he said, hands slowly leaving your skin as he stood up, “Follow me, dear. Let’s get you fixed up...and that drink I promised. It’s on the house.”
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dovesdreaming · 2 months ago
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Teleportation tribulations
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Summary: You use your power of teleportation to save Ethan’s life he isn’t that grateful for the sick feeling in his stomach afterwards though.
Request
Masterlist
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It was chaos in the gym. Vampires, demons, and a weird blob monster Ethan wasn’t sure he wanted to identify by species swarmed in all directions, attacking the school dance. He stood back-to-back with Benny, hands shaking as they conjured a half-baked spell to fend off an approaching vampire. Meanwhile, Sarah was in full vampire mode, holding off a cluster of other bloodsuckers near the bleachers. You, on the other hand, were somewhere in the middle of all this, using your ability to manipulate time and teleport like it was second nature. Ethan had always been fascinated by your powers, even though they often made him feel like his stomach was doing backflips.
Out of the corner of his eye, Ethan saw a demon with glowing red eyes stalking toward him, claws extended and fangs bared. His heart raced in panic as he fumbled through Benny’s spellbook, trying to remember something useful. “Uh, Benny? Little help here?” Benny was too busy chanting and dodging another demon to notice Ethan’s plight. Ethan stepped back, nearly tripping over the hem of his cape. As the demon leapt, jaws wide, everything seemed to slow down.
Before Ethan could process it, you appeared right next to him, grabbing his arm. There was a familiar flash of light as your teleportation powers kicked in, and suddenly the gym and the demon vanished, replaced by the rooftop of the school. Ethan stumbled, feeling his entire body go lightheaded as the world spun around him. He clutched his stomach, bending over. “Oh no, oh no, I’m gonna puke” he groaned, his face pale. “Why would you do that?!” You crossed your arms, rolling your eyes. “Really, Ethan? I just saved you from becoming demon food, and this is the thanks I get?”. “Demon food might have been better than this” he muttered, swaying slightly. “You couldn’t have, I don’t know, warned me?”. “I had about three seconds before you were a demon’s midnight snack”you said, sounding unimpressed. “Not really a lot of time for explanations”.
Ethan straightened up, wiping the sweat from his forehead. “Yeah, well, you could’ve just thrown a rock or something! Or, you know, yelled!”. You huffed, hands on your hips. “Wow, you know a thank you would suffice. Damn”. He groaned again, leaning against the rooftop edge for support. “Okay, okay. Thank you. Just… maybe next time… less teleporting and more yelling, alright?”You smirked, watching as Ethan slowly regained his composure. “No promises. Besides, where’s the fun in that?”
Before he could reply, you both heard screams from below. Glancing down, you saw the dance was still very much under attack. “Round two?” you asked, offering Ethan a hand. He glanced at your hand, then at the chaos below, a look of pure dread on his face. “Just… let’s not teleport. My stomach can’t handle it”.
You chuckled, grabbing his hand anyway. “You might wanna brace yourself”. There was another flash of light, and the rooftop vanished once more. Back in the gym, Ethan barely managed to stay on his feet as you landed both of you in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by more vampires and supernatural creatures. This time, though, Ethan was ready, if a little wobbly. “Ughhh” he groaned again, clutching his stomach. "I hate this”. “Don't worry, Ethan”you said with a grin, "you'll get used to it”.
He shot you a withering look, but there was a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Yeah, sure. I'll totally get used to almost puking every time you save me”. “That's the spirit” you quipped, before turning your attention back to the approaching threats. The fight wasn't over, but with you by his side, Ethan knew he'd make it through, queasy stomach and all.
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holmsister · 5 months ago
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Kabru has definitely had to correct himself like "yeah you want to suck my penis. I mean dick" several times
Common is also probably a foreign language for him so it's not like switching the vulgarity on is difficult. It's the opposite. It doesn't hit at all, it doesn't have the "forbidden naughty word" edge, it's just another situation-specific language. Elven might hit closer because of how carefully Milsiril avoided teaching him swear words but also all of the elven sex metaphors are shit like "tender bud" or "weeping obelisk" you can't get going to that
Which is why Laios' blunt speech affect works so well for him. Because it has the "people are not supposed to talk like that!" Edge normal dirty talk lacks. Like the first time he went on his knees and started undoing Laios' pants Laios was like. Hey are you going to put my penis in your mouth. And Kabru felt a frisson of authentic excitement down his spine like. oh FUCK you're not supposed to say it like that thats so forbidden and naughty
On the other hand Kabru does shit like kissing up Laios' spine absentmindedly naming each vertebral group and what important nerve cluster departs at which height and he's just doing this because that's a thing he does but by the time he reaches Laios' neck Laios' eyes are squeezed shut and he is humping the mattress because Kabru is so DANGEROUS he could hurt him SO MUCH hes so so SCARY but he DOESNT because he LOVES HIM and instead he gives him KISSES and that's so fucking sexy Laios could come just from that
Kabru also does things like. Counting how much time he spends on each nipple in his head because he doesn't want his attentions to be asymmetrical (unless he's deliberately doing some sort of experiment). Which is something he hid carefully from every lover he's ever had because that's an objectively crazy thing to do right? Except one time Laios asks hey what u thinking about and Kabru blurts out that he's counting seconds between thrusts as he's running an experiment to see what type of rhythm gets laios more excited and laios is like. You're a genius. I'm fucking a genius. Why did I never think of that.
And like. Thats why i think of Labru sex so much i think its an essential part of how they work. In the end what gets Kabru the most is how Laios slowly but carefully peels off all of his carefully constructed human layers to reveal whats underneath. And Kabru was always convinced there was nothing underneath but surprise! Theres actually a guy there and he is a little weird but that's ok.
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