#although it got me to actually write again so yay <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[formerlyfandy]

thinking about securitywaiter again guys...

im actually starting to flesh out one of the fics i've always wanted to write for them for so long... it's a miracle yay <3

[butchdiaz]

tagged by @iinryer to do a 2024 fic roundup but i'm adding my videos in too because. uh. its fun to look back! and i want to!

MARCH

american teenager (36s)

my first ever commission! for my best friend bia! to this day i hear do what you want (do more!) everytime i listen to this song.

APRIL

arms (1:02)

this was for seti. and it hurt.

good luck babe! (1:11)

literally never felt euphoria the same since the week of bi buck when i made this. changed the timeline. (although i was so euphoric and excited to post that i cropped in a rush and left a little white line in one of the shots and it pisses me off massively to this day. yes im a virgo thanks for asking)

to open up my arms and give it all to you (2.5k)

my little buck coming out to chris fic with hints of buddie <3 bi buck got me writing again after months of literal Nothing. god bless

one of your girls (3:09)

kirby's vision went OFF. so proud of this one like. its gotta be one of my favs and i feel like it became a bit of a butchdiaz classic which makes me so happy :D

MAY

kill her freak out (1:33)

this video is my little baby. ohhh samia. ouaagh eddie.

scared of my guitar (2:23)

shoutout to the way the dialogue syncs up in this one. rly satisfying to me hehehe. honestly didn't think i'd like this one as much as i do but she hits hard

promise (1:15)

love when people commission me to edit songs im already currently obsessing over yay!!!!!

JUNE

happy to be here (2:16)

julien baker. eddie diaz. aka abby had a mental breakdown making this one.

closed hands, full of friends (45s)

this was my first time editing a song i had Never heard beforehand! 3 cheers for finding new music!!

JULY

l'amour de ma vie (3:26)

ok not to toot my own horn but. this one is good. i feel like i really told a story u know. and about now is when i started to play around with fun/more intricate text ooh ooooh

a burning hill (1:01)

this prompt was designed in a lab to kill me specifically. i wanted to do the whole song originally but i like. could not go on.

my ego dies at the end (2:49)

i reallyyyy like this one. long edits my beloved! i love to build to something. i rewatch this one often tbh. jensen mcrae is everythinggg

AUGUST

north star (2:16)

again, had never heard this song b4 i got this prompt and it got me obsessed with this searows album. this edit makes me feel all soft. rly loved incorporating fleabag into it bc like. fleabag for life. shoutout summerofbuddie for the inspo

feels like (58s)

this song has been on my buddie playlist(s) forever so i was So excited to get this prompt. it was so fun to make something. not depressing and just like. fluffy. fun fact i hand drew all the hearts for this in ps and they were such a pain to work with but i really love how it turned out cause i'd never done anything like that before :')

pink balloon (2:29)

finally made a proper buck amv. after so many eddie ones it was actually nice to switch it up. felt re-inspired! also always so inspired by samia ugh. i am an eddiegirl literally to my bones tho so this was both v hard and v fun to make.

SEPTEMBER

"i want a divorce" / "it was a date" (2:19)

the buckshannon parallels ouuugughhh. this was one of those ones that haunted me so persistently i literally was forced to make it. saw hanna's post and then blacked out and i was posting this.

had a feeling i could be someone (3k)

+

leave tonight or live and die this way (1.1k)

dyke buddie!!!!!!!! these fics are sooooo near and dear to my heart. i love to make everyone wlw! i love to project my butchness onto my fav characters! wrote these so fast (for me) like writing has Never flown out of me like that. i was possessed by the spirit of lesbianism. and. GOD. the response to these fics also makes me want to cry daily. the beautiful art that was created?????? for me and my little fic?????????? i actually can't believe it i love you guys so much. lesbians forever and ever and ever.

did it to myself (1:11)

another one of my favs. i think it slaps so hard tbh. i tried a lot of new stuff and it was so FUN. orla's music is so much fun to edit to i need to do another one of her songs asap.

afraid of heights (2:46)

boygenius wrote this for my friend buck buckley. got entirely consumed by this one. thank u han for being my buckafraidofheights warrior for life <3

headlock (2:23)

i love buck but i remember coming back to making an eddie amv and breathing a sigh of relief. i just Get him. its so easy. this one's underrated i think oop it kinda slaps

OCTOBER

savior complex (3:16)

this one was a rly good challenge and idek why. super happy with how it turned out though i like watching it back

NOVEMBER

funeral bell (2:54)

the buck thesis statement. to me. and such a crazy unique process. loved working w kaitlin on this one and sending her 10 million drafts (she rly got a behind the scenes tour yall and it was not pretty). this was an absolute BEAST to make despite it not even being that complicated. i think i just cared so much about making it perfect for my dear friend who trusted me with her visions and inspiration and that made it all the more special!

you get your dreams for free (14.8k)

drunk cuddling!!!!!!!! my longest fic i've posted to date and i fully thought i was never gonna finish it. i abandoned this last YEAR but im SO glad i came back to it and most of the reason for that is because of the absolutely lovely responses to my earlier fics this year <3 literally hilarious to me that i originally wanted to post this on halloween 2023. abby. abby no.

surrender my heart! (1:30)

post-confessions euphoria + a carly rae jepsen prompt? i was literally in heaven. SURRENDER UR HEART EDDIEEEEEEEEE

DECEMBER

every place leads back to your place (2.1k)

music inspires me soooo much (looks up at this post. no way right.) so i absolutely loved writing based off a song! and a chappell song nonetheless!! so fun to twist a breakup song around to fit Them. i particularly love the kiss in this one <3

oldie's station (3:17)

phew we're almost there! this one is recent but lowkey it feels like another classic to me already. i really really like it. making it felt like cooking a three course meal and watching it kinda feels like eating one :D (thank god) (i spent so many hours in that kitchen)

letter to god (1974) (2:27)

+

letter to god (1983) (1:52)

putting these together bc they are sister songs and sister videos. first time in my life i've worked on two videos at once. it was fun because they kind of grew together and influenced each other very directly. not fun because i ran out of space and my laptop crashed. several times. these felt rly indulgent and raw. kind of shocking to me how perfect both songs feel for both of them. had a lot of fun messing with the voice/video filters to try and place these in their respective eras bc im obsessed with that aspect of the songs. halsey's artistry is crazy yall if u havent listened to her newest album GO. NOW.

the rush of slumber party kissing (3.2k)

posted this literally yesterday lol. also my first time writing smut. somehow. scary! but i did giggle all the way through writing this tbh. when buddie reveal their true nature as silly teenage girls >>>>>>>>>>

SPECIAL SHOUTOUT

fleabag au wip, who saw the light of day again this year. she could be finished in six months or six more years, but she Will be finished. im determined!

<3

ok if u read all that uh. wow congrats fhdhhdh im gonna get sappy for JUST A SEC now cause uh. im actually blown away by the support and love and appreciation this fandom has shown me this past year. you guys have given me so much confidence in my skills as both an editor and a writer and you also quite literally helped me pay my rent. by making videos about gay firefighters. its actually kind of mind blowing to me how lucky i am and i never want to take that for granted <3

to anyone who has commissioned me, or sent me a prompt, or left a comment on a fic, or a tag on a video, or sent me a kind ask, or subscribed to me, or followed me, or reblogged anything of mine this year: thank you.

im so grateful for this little community and all the friends and connections i have made through our collective insanity over a procedural drama on abc (neé fox). yall rock so hard.

<3

tagging @userbuddie @chronicowboy @confessionseddie @try-set-me-on-fire @userautumn @lovelettered @exhuastedpigeon @sibylsleaves @saryasy @team-118 @lemmeaskthedevil @eddiebabygirldiaz if u wanna do any sort of yearly roundup!

[causenessus]

YAY CONGRATS ON 1k!! you totally deserve it and your work is phenomenal and i can’t wait to see what else you make <3

for the event.. could i get a fluff 📚 fic w/ kuroo where the reader helps him find a book as a library aid??

see you again. | kuroo t.

kuroo x f!reader

written in 3rd pov

one word prompt from 1k followers event: 📚 -> library

"my heart's on mars, kinda hard to see, but you know i'll see you again <3" from when will i see you again by shakka (DOES NOT fit the vibes at all i mean kind of in my delusional brain but i just like the song and it fits the title <3)

word count: 1.9k words

notes: lots of fluff!! kuroo being down bad for the reader upon first meeting her, reader also being down bad. kuroo being a nerd bc man could be sexy or flirt to save his life <3 bokuto being the real star of this entire follower event apparently who knows how many more fics he's gonna make it into. also this was really fun to write bc little lore drop but one year in high school i once got kicked out of a class (very convoluted thing, they thought the class was triggering me which was lowkey a fair statement) so i got to be a library aide instead <333 i'm going to say this is not edited bc i don't want to deal with my mistakes or take responsibility for them. THANK U FOR THIS REQUEST WYR!! I LOVE YOU SM <3 I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS FIC

although she enjoyed the solace of re-shelving books on her own, she enjoyed helping others just as much. it was like getting snippets of people’s lives through the books they were in search of. sometimes students came in looking for books for classes, which allowed her to meddle a little into just how many majors her school really offered, and how niche they could be. others came in looking for books to pass the time and she was always happy to recommend one of her favorites if they were open to suggestions.

while some of the other aides were there because they saw the job as an easy, quick way to make some extra money, she took pleasure in her job. when lost students came up to the counter asking for help locating a book, most of the aides felt that they had done their job well when they gave the student some kind of cryptic number and last name to scour the shelves for in return. however, numbers revealed nothing of where a single book could be in a large room piled with books that lined and stuffed every shelf and corner they could fit into.

she often took it upon herself to go on a search with the students who came to her for help. she’d consult the system for where a book was located and then lead the student to where the book was located rather than just sending them on their way. sometimes it took a few minutes to find what they were looking for, but they always found it in the end.

asking someone to wander around a university’s library and expecting them to know where a book labeled “796.31 dearing” was located was the equivalent to asking them to find a needle in a haystack. she didn’t expect anyone to know where a book was right off the bat; that was her job, and she was happy to help.

kuroo always dreaded going to the library. he dreaded everything about it. he loathed having to be quiet, aware of every noise he made, every rustle of his pant legs brushing against each other, and he hated trying to find the single book he was looking for amongst thousands of others. sometimes he felt like he'd be better off pirating a pdf version of a book off the internet, but it never appealed to him as much as a physical book.

over lunch with bokuto one day, he had rubbed a hand down his face and groaned at the thought of even stepping foot into the library, “i have to get a book for one of my social science classes, but do you know how hard they make it to find any kind of science book?”

“you should ask for y/n!” bokuto responded with a mouth full of food, “she’s really nice, she actually walked with me to help find the book i was looking for.”

“you went to the library to get a book? i would’ve expected you to just sparknote it,” kuroo teased with a sleazy grin.

his friend huffed, crossing his arms, “you should have more faith in me! i did read the book, but... it was because my professor had already caught me using sparknotes and said she’d fail me if she caught me using it again...” he trailed off and kuroo laughed.

“i think you just proved your own point wrong, buddy,” he rested his hand in his palm, looking down at the table they were sitting at. “you said her name’s y/n? what’s she look like?”

“mm, i don’t remember,” bokuto said, after a thoughtful pause, “she’s probably wearing a nametag, though. or just ask for y/n! someone will direct you to her.”

“that’s weird, man. what am i supposed to tell her when she questions why i specifically asked for her?” he responded with a sigh.

“just tell her i sent you! she knows me pretty well now, she won’t mind,” the dual hair colored boy shrugged before shoving more food into his mouth, “it’s that or search on your own for your book, but i’d say just find y/n, she can help.”

bokuto had a way of making everything seem like it would turn out fine, but all that confidence left him the moment he walked through the library doors. all he knew was he was on the lookout for a girl; nothing about what she looked like, just her name.

he could pretend to be cool and suave from afar, but when it came to actual interactions, he was never the best at maintaining his composure. he always talked too fast, or would regrettably talk more than was acceptable by his standards.

he settled for trying to find the book himself first. it was some kind of book about behavior, by a last name he thought sounded slightly like a serial killer. if he couldn’t even remember the author’s name, he was helpless. was it even worth trying to find someone to help him? or would he just make a fool of himself trying to describe the book he was looking for?

but he needed to find this book tonight, he knew that. he’d already put off reading it for long enough, and his deadline was coming up. knowing his grade was at risk, he defeatedly dragged his feet to the foot counter. it was impossible for him to casually stand there, looking at people’s name tags, and a girl at a computer was already looking at him, waiting patiently for him to tell her what he needed.

“uh–” he started off, trying to keep his voice low, “is y/n working tonight?”

the girl’s eyebrows knitted together, and he was distracted by the way her lips pursed before he tried to focus on her eyes instead, “that’s me. did you need something?”

perhaps it was luckier that he had found her on his first try rather than walking around like an idiot looking for a mysterious girl, but he couldn’t help worrying about how this interaction was already off to a bad start. he couldn’t believe bokuto could ever forget a face like hers when he was sure it’d be stuck in his head for weeks. “yeah, i’m looking for a book…?” he cringed at his own words. what else would he be here for? she only raised her brows, waiting for him to continue. “it’s um, a book on behaviorism i think. i’m majoring in sports management and i need this book for a social sciences class but i don’t remember what it’s called.”

his honesty made the corner of her lips lift, and he found himself staring again. she had to be wearing lipstick; there was no way her lips could be that red. “behaviorism? and you don’t remember what the book is called? what about the author?”

he shook his head. did he tell her his analogy? he’d already made a stupid first impression, “i don’t remember what his name was, but it sort of sounded like…”

“like a serial killer?” she finished, eyes flicking up to his own.

his own brows raised in surprise, “yeah, how did you know?”

she laughed softly at his remark, “i took a psychology class. it’s how i remembered his name too. i called him beef skinner, but his name’s b.f. skinner.” he found his own lips turning up, and they shared a smile before she cleared her throat, turning back to her screen. he watched her fingers fly across the keyboard under her hands before she turned her monitor screen around so he could see it. “does this cover look familiar? maybe by the title?”

it was a simple cover, dark blue with a tri-colored atom at the bottom. the title was written in bold capital letters: Science and Human Behavior. it clicked with him as he read the title and he could only nod, dumbfounded as she returned the screen back to its normal position.

“that’s exactly it. you’re like a genius, i can’t believe you found it based on three basic words,” he complimented, watching as she stood up, dusting off her pencil skirt. 

he felt a puff of pride in his chest, seeing the way she smiled at his words. “it’s my job,” she laughed again, “i think i had someone else come in looking for it a few days ago. too. call it good timing. your book should be somewhere in the 300s, i’ll lead you there.”

she waved a hand, motioning for him to follow as she came around the side of the counter and he was quick to follow. they walked along the aisles, her head tilting up ever so often to look up at the number plates adorning each shelf. “if you don’t mind me asking, how did you know my name?” she asked, turning back to him.

he fell into step walking alongside her as he hummed in thought, “i had a friend that mentioned you. i always get lost coming here and i was telling him about it and he said i should try to find you because you’re really nice.”

“aw,” she commented with a small smile as they turned down an aisle, “that was sweet of him to say. i’m glad i could help.”

their conversation went silent as they continued walking, and he found himself tugging at the collar of his sweater nervously. ���he was right,” he mumbled.

“what was that?” she looked at him again, and he inhaled sharply again, looking into her eyes.

“nothing. i mean—i was just saying my friend was right. you’re very nice,” he spoke quickly, averting his eyes towards the floor. this was what he’d meant when he said he always talked too much; he really needed to learn to keep his thoughts in.

but when she laughed at his compliment, he thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to make a fool of himself if he could hear her voice again. “thank you, i’m glad to hear that. what was your name, again?” she asked, a blush dusting her cheeks. she couldn’t believe she was letting a boy’s words affect her in such a way when she didn’t even know his name.

he was thinking the same thing; how had telling her his name completely slipped his mind? “kuroo,” he said, stopping when she stopped, crouching to run her fingers along the spines of a row of books close to the ground. “my name’s kuroo tetsuro.”

“well, kuroo,” she said, standing back up and looking at him with that smile of hers. paired with the sound of his name on her tongue, he felt like he was going to pass out. “it was nice to meet you. and here’s your book. maybe i’ll see you again?”

“definitely,” he said too quickly, but it was worth it to watch her nose scrunch as she laughed, “i’ll definitely come back, it what meant. um, not just to see you. well— actually— it’d be kind of nice if maybe we saw each other again. maybe over dinner? could i get your number?”

“yes,” she answered, and when she bit her lip, trying to stop the way her smile had grew, he felt like he was standing in front of angel, “to all of that. meet me back at the counter?”

"okay," he breathed, watching her walk off, her hands grabbing fists full of her skirt. maybe the library wasn't as bad as he thought, after all.

[innitmarvellous]

Well, they say writing down positive things and thoughts is supposed to boost your self-confidence, so...here's a list of the good things that happened to me in 2023, or also some little achievements I'm a bit proud of. It's definitely not much compared to everyone else, but...I'm not supposed to compare myself to others, right? So I won't do that. Well...at least I'll try ;)

- most important things first: somewhere around April I started watching HIGNFY and it sort of changed my life - I met nice people through the fandom (hello! :D), I got back into fic writing and my politics obsession came back in full force. Oh, and I finally got myself a new man crush <3 (and we all know who I'm talking about, even the non-HIGNFY followers because I haven't shut up about it since April)

- started doing the Welsh course on Duolingo and it's quite fun so far (& am doing some occasional French and Latin lessons too - I still remembered a lot of the French even after taking a break for a few months, which is nice)

- started doing exercise again after 4 years of laziness, and I'm still able to do 10 km on one of the higher settings of the exercise bike - yay

- read 80 books (might finish one or two more in December), which is about average for me looking at the last few years...at least there were quite a few non-fiction books and not as many shitty novels than a few years ago lol. My main goal for the next year(s) is to read even more classics...and buy fewer books. (Note to idiot self: read the hundreds of bloody ebooks you downloaded already...lol)

- finally started writing smutty fics - I don't think my writing style is very sexy though, but I couldn't say for sure...I kinda like it tho 💦 And I generally stopped worrying about whether my fics are too stupid for posting...well, maybe they are, but I'm trying to make that everyone else's problem haha

- dared to post selfies because I'm actually starting to kind of like the look of my face - pretty amazing because I used to think I'm the ugliest person in the world and I'm not even kidding here (although, looking at old pictures of me still make me want to cry and laugh at the same time - some people apparently really do get more attractive as they get older 🤔)

- I think I'm feeling a bit better about myself in general? Well, alright, no matter how I look at it: I'm still some badly educated & mostly unemployed loser with no hopes for a relationship, but...I don't seem to care about that as much anymore. Maybe something good did come from the fact that I basically abandoned all hope/expectations about my life when I turned 30...the last two years certainly felt sort of easier than everything before that? I definitely didn't beat myself up over some random shit as often as I did in other years. Hm. Maybe I can build on that in the future.

[hreog]

music, tv, books, books!

tagged by @a-s-levynn.

last song: 'evaporate,' a.a.williams. can't get enough of this song. she's opening for sleep token for the NA tour, which is how i found it.

last film: ... i honestly can't remember. watching video bores me.

currently watching: same with tv, although i make the exception for Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. saving up the last episode for saturday. then, we can start on Lower Decks season3.

currently reading: since i can't watch moving pictures, i make up for it by keeping 3-4 books on hand. the current rota is: The Bullet that Missed (#3 in Richard Osman's Thursday Murder Club series; haven't read #2, but got #3 from the library first so); The Married Man (Edmund White; pausing for a bit, as all 3 of them have AIDS now, whyyyy????); The King Hereafter (Dorothy Dunnett; finally got back to where I left off five years ago; Thorfinn and Rognvald trying to murder each other again, ah good times); and Manna's Administration series, which I found again after 10 years and now have to go through all of it again.

Shall not list the hotly anticipated book I returned to the library without finishing because it was dreadfully mediocre, as that would be bashing.

current obsession: actually, after writing the last 2 chapters all over again for september, i figured out where i want to go with this. so, pretty happy sussing out my own story. yay.

tagging... ok, who is up to doing this? i'll pass on tagging people because i really mean it when i say srsly no pressure. but if you want to... i'd love to see it on the ol' dash. you know who you are ;)

[muerteporfavor]

Hola!

It's been a bit again. I've been busy. (Not too busy for language study- although I do want to get a better structure for that soon.)

Today won't be a listing day. As it is pretty late where I am currently. But I wanted to write up an update about my life and this little Muerte Por Favor mission.

On Sunday of this week I made a decision that I would section off one day of the week to clean up one aspect of my space that I had been neglecting.

Monday: washing blankets. to be honest I had not washed my blankets for probably almost a year if not a little more. (granted I did switch out my comforter and one of my throw blankets during that time, but i didn't wash them. I just put on new blankets to replace them and moved on) Which is kinda gross but I have clinical depression so I get a pass.

Tuesday: (today!) I set up the mission to dust my room which I also have not done in about a year give or take. But I did it!! It took me like 4 hours because I also had to clean out my desk, reorganize my bookshelf, and hang some posters. But I did it.

Both times I did the thing even though I really did not want to. I wanted to curl up and not move or do anything. But I did the thing. And still had plenty of time to do fun things or work on other projects. I also called my dentist (got an appointment for tomorrow yay!) and I called a business about my application (to receive no response. Not so yay).

But I did the things and I'm proud of myself. I stuck to my goals and I followed through for me. The only point of this silly little thing. I didn't do the tasks when I intended to. I wanted to do them in the morning but alas I ended up doing them mid afternoon both times. Which I'm going to say is okay. Because they still got done.

Tomorrow I have to do laundry (which I'm actually going to have to force myself to get up early to do because I have dentist at noon so it has to get done before then).

Then Thursday I have to buy new jeans (I have none that are workplace appropriate- prior I had just been wearing leggings at my old job cause they allowed it but few other jobs seem to. So I'd like to get ahead of that) and clean out my car.

And then Friday is celebration for a long week of Getting My Shit Together. (I'm thinking I might go try out a cute coffee place that I've been meaning to for months now.)

I started this because I'm not sure what I want to do with my life right now. And I decided to completely reset my life in terms of cleanliness. Just to have something concrete to focus on in the meantime. I'm thinking I might go back to school but nothing is set in stone at the moment as I'm still trying to work on my commitment - follow through ratio.

So far I think its going well!!

That's all for now.

Its Muerteporfavor <3

[star2sworld]

Really big update.

Hey you guys. My life is all connecting. My ex bsf I’ve been wanting to apologize to all summer reached out and told me she found out what happened and all of that talking about the situation. I then sent her a really big paragraph saying everything off my chest I wanted to tell her for months. I feel much better I got to apologize. She doesn’t need to forgive me as long as she knows I feel sorry and regret what I did it’s okay with me :) After we spoke about everything we texted some more and it felt like I had my best friend back for a second. We click so easily it’s weird when we aren’t friends. I feel like we’re already besties everything feels so normal. We texted for like 3 hours I’m so grateful and happy we were able to reconnect. Although I know it won’t be the same maybe with time it can be. It will take her time to forgive me and that’s okay she deserves it. I’m just super grateful we’re friends again :). Never thought she’d want to after finding out the truth but she’s literally the best girl ever I love her. I never want to hurt her again or anyone ever I don’t like being a mean girl. A few days after the incident happened I wanted to apologize and tell her immediately but it would’ve been so bad. We also have two classes together algebra & Spanish back to back. First 2 periods of the day. I’m so happy we can be with each other on the first day yay 💕🫶🏼

I also started texting my old friend as well and things are back go normal with me and her. In our situation we kind of just drifted apart. Everything feels normal though so yay.

Everything’s always working out for me !!

I’ve been having cart cravings for like 4 days now and I haven’t even looked for it I’m so proud of me! I’ve been going on walks for at least 30 mins everyday. Yesterday I saw two people from my school in my neighborhood. I liked both of them before too so that was a bit shocking. Lol.

My piercing things came in as well but I’m scared to do it but I’m going to today. I’m kind of excited for the first day of school honestly because I have two classes with my friend and 6th period with another one. I am nervous for lunch though I hate sitting alone but it’s not so bad. I might change lunch to studyhall instead. I also saw my other friend yesterday in my walk and spoke to her for a little bit. I’ve been making my bed every morning. Haven’t been doing my morning routine as much though but I’m going to do it after im done writing. I made Mac and cheese today with the help of my sister directions 😅���🏽

Im actually so grateful 🥺 always have hope & be positive. Love you guys :)

[hopeintheashes]

Oversharing on the Internet

Tagged By: @mellaithwen! <3

ONE: Are you named after anyone?

Nope! My parents just liked the name. I was almost named after my dad's grandmother, though. (For clarity, my actual name isn't Hope, that's just for internet anonymity purposes. :-))

TWO: When was the last time you cried?

I just watched a sad documentary, so in that sense, less than an hour ago. Over something in my own life? My last therapy session. (Most therapy sessions. In a useful/productive way.)

THREE: Do you have kids?

Not yet! That's the plan, though.

FOUR: Do you use sarcasm a lot?

An average amount, I think?

FIVE: What sports have you played/do you play?

I danced all the way through school (lyrical/tap/ballet/etc.). I did one season each of soccer when I was 8 and basketball when I was in 7th grade. Really wasn't my thing. Now, I do non-competitive things like hiking and kayaking.

SIX: What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their expression/attitude - it's always a quick calculation of, Is this an interaction where I'm going to be safe? Comfortable and relaxed? On the defense? In work mode? Things like that.

SEVEN: What's your eye color?

Brown. (Which apparently is a rare combo with red hair! Yay.)

EIGHT: Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all the way.

NINE: Any special talents?

Sight-reading piano music. This talent was honed via many years of not practicing and just showing up to lessons/to play for church and sight-reading the music on the spot, lol. It's a useful skill!

TEN: Where were you born?

About an hour from where I grew up. (I was adopted, for context.)

ELEVEN: What are your hobbies?

Music, reading (hey, I love it even if I don't do it as often as I used to!), writing (fanfic, of course), doing Vermonty outdoorsy things at a casual level, crochet/knitting/embroidery...

TWELVE: Do you have any pets?

No, not since I had fish as a kid. I'm not opposed to having pets in the future, but probably it will take a) a partner who really wants a pet and/or b) having kids, so that my life is already tied-down and complicated, haha.

THIRTEEN: How tall are you?

5'6"

FOURTEEN: Favorite subject in school?

Anything music-related, for sure, followed by anything that felt like I got to unlock a puzzle/discover something new - so really any class (English, science, math, social studies) that was taught in an interesting way. Or occasionally where we taught ourselves, in the semesters where we had teachers who didn't actually know the subject matter. Yes, this happened on a semi-routine basis. Our (rural, moderately-resourced) school was... okay. Adequate. It had some bright spots! We'll go with that.

FIFTEEN: Dream job

The one I have now! (The profession/career, I mean, although my first year at my current job has been a positive experience as well.)

I'm still in semi-hermit mode so I'm not going to tag anyone, but this is me waving at the world: Hi! I still exist! Okay, I'm disappearing again. :-)

[softxsuki]

Hi Han! I would like to request a platonic!aizawa x daughter!reader for your 400 follower event, please! My idea uses prompts 23, 61 and 70. The reader is still about 4 years old and was adopted by Aizawa as a baby. In the scenario, she had a nightmare (wich happens a lot for no reason), then she goes to Aizawa's bedroom to be comforted and ends up sleeping there. In the morning, she doesn't want him to get up and he finds it cute. (settles before Deku's class got in UA) Thanks!

Dad!Aizawa Comforting Daughter!Reader Who Had A Nightmare

23: “Don’t ever change”

61: “Had another nightmare”

70: “Nope, I’m not letting you go”

400 Follower Event Rules & Masterlist (Requests for this event are now CLOSED)

Pairing: Dad!Aizawa x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: none

Genre: Fluff

Post-Type: Drabble

Word Count: 890

Summary: In which you're Aizawa's 4 year old daughter who has a nightmare. You go into his room looking for comfort and end up sleeping in his room until the morning where you don't want him to leave.

[A/N: Hello anon! Thank you for the request! This was actually really interesting. I've never written in the POV of a four year old before. It was pretty tricky trying to set up that mentality of a child, but hopefully I did okay NJFEKA. SORRY IF IT'S CRINGE. This was my last event request! I can't believe I finished them ahhhh. Thank you to everyone that participated. There will definitely be more events like this in the future. Happy New Years! Stay safe everyone <3]

Note: I only write Dad!Aizawa x Reader for Aizawa or anything platonic

“Daddy,” you whisper in fear to Aizawa who was already fast asleep.

You had been awoken from a horrible nightmare, and being only four years old, you were terrified to remain in your room alone for any longer.

Tears threaten to spill as you were scared that he’d be upset with you for waking him up once again because of another nightmare. You had frequent nightmares that would have you waking up in tears, making you run straight to Aizawa, your father. This one was the third that week.

“Daddy, wake up” you whimper again, the darkness of his room looming over you intimidatingly.

You send little pokes into his arm, hoping that would do that trick at waking him up, and finally, he stirs in his sleep.

“Hmm? What?” he finally awakes and groggily looks over at you in confusion.

He sits up straight as soon as he sees your wobbling lips and teary eyes.

“What’s wrong, sweet cheeks?” he coos, scooping you up onto the bed with him, into his arms, “Had another nightmare?”

You nod and rub your eyes from exhaustion, wiping some of your tears in the process, “Yeah, and it was really scary daddy.”

“It’s okay now, daddy will protect you. Nothing can hurt you when you’re with daddy,” he rubs reassuring circles into your back as you lean your head on his chest, gripping onto his shirt with your tiny hands.

“Really?”

“Mhm, really. Daddy scares all the nightmares away, so they can’t get you here.”

“Okay,” you cling onto him tighter, “Then I stay here with you.”

“That’s fine sweetheart, you can stay here with daddy. You can sleep next to me. Okay?” He begins to move you off of him so he can lie you down on the pillow next to his, but your surprisingly strong grip on him tightens.

“Can you hold my hand?”

“Of course, now let’s get to sleep. Daddy is tired and you look tired too.”

“Yeah I’m tired. Goodnight daddy.”

You lay your head onto the pillow as Aizawa arranges a few pillows behind you to stop you from rolling off the bed, and places a gentle kiss to the top of your head, “Goodnight baby.”

You were sound asleep in no time, gentle breaths leaving your nose as your hand lays in his own. Aizawa gazes at you with a small smile, happy to have a wonderful daughter like you in his life. Although you were adopted, he loved you as if you were his own flesh and blood.

He slowly falls asleep facing you, dreaming of wonderful moments between you both.

The next morning, you’re up first and look over at Aizawa with a wide smile.

“Yay! No nightmares!” You cheer, startling Aizawa awake from the sudden noise.

“Good morning daddy!” you screech in glee, throwing yourself at him in the biggest hug possible, “I had no nightmare!”

He grunts at the sudden pressure of you throwing yourself at him, not yet fully awake, but glad to see your smiling face first thing in the morning.

“That’s great Princess. I told you, you wouldn’t have nightmares with me.”

“I'll sleep with daddy again later,” you say matter-a-factly, seeming to have found your solution to your frequent nightmares.

Aizawa sighs, knowing his habit of letting you leave your room and sleep in his bed half-way through the night was a bad idea, but he couldn’t resist your glassy eyes or your pout whenever you came to him in fear after one of your nightmares. How could he send you back to your own room when you were terrified?

“Big girls sleep in their own beds, Y/N,” he explains.

“I’m a big girl!” you scream, jumping up and down on his bed.

He had no idea where you got this type of energy from, but he was content in seeing you enjoy yourself.

“Then you can sleep in your own bed tonight, okay?”

You think it over for a few seconds.

“Okay daddy,” you agree with a nod of your head.

“Great, then let’s get up and get ready for the day,” he says, moving to get out of bed, but you jump onto him to stop him.

“No! No leaving!”

“Y/N…C’mon we have a busy day. I have to get to work soon, so let go.”

“Nope, I’m not letting you go,” you pout, holding onto him tighter.

He sighs but turns around and picks you up into his arms, tickling you endlessly as your laughter fills the room. He finds your stubbornness adorable, warming his heart that was usually ice-cold in the mornings–something his students could agree with.

“Ahhh okay, stop! Stop- daddy it tickles!”

He finally stops his tickle attack and smiles lovingly at you, “Y/N, don’t ever change.”

“Don’t change my clothes? Yayy, okay! We can stay home and play,” you cheer again, jumping from his arms and running around his room.

“No, you need to change your clothes and get ready for daycare. I-” he stops talking and just watches you jump around excitedly, “You know what, never-mind.”

He’s running after you in a second, trying to get you dressed for the day, but you run away squealing in delight, glad that your father was playing with you first thing in the morning.

You’d definitely be stopping by his room again whenever you had another nightmare.

EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 12/31/2021 (happy last day of 2021 <3)

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Thoughts on the costuming of Bad Buddy (a thread*)

Episode 8 (2/3): PatPran

There's so much I want to write about this week that I've had to break it down into three different posts: one for Ink and Pa; one for Pat and Pran; and one about the Friends. But here's Pat and Pran...

When I wrote about my mint green colour theory before episode 7, I predicted that we would see a lot more of this colour when Pat and Pran got together...and yay, I was right! I've already posted about some details but with the clothes we start right off the bat with Pat in mint green shorts. (There's also something mint green hanging behind the brown bag on the wall...maybe another bag? Perhaps we'll get to see Pran using it at some point...although he's only ever used his blue 'P' bag, so perhaps not...). Pat is also in a teal and black and white stiped top...but I'm not sure what to make of the use of teal to be honest - it might be that my mint green theory should extend to teal as well (so the whole dark to light spectrum of this colour) but I'm not sure there's been a pattern to its use...I need more time to investigate...

Pran, on the other hand, is wearing their colours - in blue and pink stiped pants. I don't think I need to point out both their faculty jackets in the background...but I guess I just did. (And that's Pat's bag hung up on the right).

Once dressed, Pat again has mint green on his clothes - in the writing on his sandy/orange (pumpkin?) t-shirt. In contrast, Pran is in white - perhaps symbolic of being anxious about people finding out about their relationship and therefore feeling the need to present a neutral façade. Of course, Pat, on the other hand, can't wait to be open about what they are and his colourful top shows that.

I've written in more detail about the friends groups in post 3/3 of this thread, but before episode 8 I had predicted that the engineering group would be supportive of Pat hitting on someone from architecture based on their colours - Korn in bright red and Mo in pink (incidentally, Pat has red details on his blue top) - and again I was right (yay me!). Of course we don't know what's going to happen next now that they know it's actually Pran...but that's for another day.

I liked this little interjection by the rugby coach, wearing this dark blue top with a yellow flower print - it seems like the possibility for Pat to be open about his love and happiness in front of his friends is blossoming...? 🤞🏽

Later both Pat and Pran are in shades of orange. I'm interpreting this as either a mix of red and yellow (so Pran's colour and their happiness), or a hint reinforcing Ink's importance with Pa and the potential of their relationship...or it could be a bit of both. Anyway, I love the yellow square over Pran's heart. He's upset at the beginning of this scene but softens in Pat's embrace as he recites the play's lines and is his happiest in the balcony scene later than day. This colourful outfit (with the blue jeans) is a stark difference to the white of earlier. The writing on Pat's top is equally interesting, not only the "PROUD" (okay you have to ignore the rest) emphasising how he feels about being with Pran, but the forest green colour. It alludes not only to the little animosity between him and Pran that quickly dissipates but also the coming difficult conversation with his father and ensuing angst.

And then after the conversation with his father, Pat is lying, dejected, in bed - all in white. Devoid of colour. Devoid of happiness.

But then we get that wonderful balcony scene, full of love and care and connection. Pat gives Pran the earbud case holder (which I wrote about in my episode 8 details post) with the red and blue 'P' and neck cord, and Pran gives Pat the 'friend/unfriend' t-shirt. Pat lays it over himself and he is again full of colour, full of feeling.

But...we need to remember that although this shirt is symbolic of their connection - having been passed between them and worn by Pat before - it is also an ambiguous dark olive/grey (and borders on brown as well - more on that below) which echoes the ambiguity of the 'friend/unfriend' writing...and the ambiguity that their status has been to them and is still to others. It's potentially foreshadowing the angst that we will see in part 4 of the episode, both between them and for the final curtain drop, despite making Pat so happy here.

And so for the angst...Pran's anxieties come to the fore, Pat and Pran exchange heated words, and the t-shirt gets pulled off and slung to the floor...the 'friend/unfriend' wording feeling ominous in the tension between them. Pat, as Riam, plays the xylophone to "express his upset" (in yet another scene where the play reflects their life) and it's fitting that Pat is shirtless - bare and exposed, vulnerable and natural.

I adore the framing in this shot - Pat is in front of a rich red curtain, stood on a red base, with the yellow buffalo (?) between him and Pran in the foreground shadows, and that hint of mint green above Pran's head. Pat is in the light, wanting to be out in the open with their relationship, whereas Pran feels he needs to hide in the darkness. The smiley face of the animal seems a direct contrast to the solemnity of the scene, almost mocking, but it could also be a reminder of the love and happiness that does still exist between the two despite their current difficulties.

Afterwards, after they have reflected and calmed down, they come together to reconcile. Before episode 8, I proposed a new colour theory, that brown symbolised a sacrifice or yielding, and here we have Pran and Pat sat side by side, separated by a brown roll of material 'haphazardly' leaning on the blue scaffolding behind them. They apologise, express their desires and their fears, and then yield a little to the other, meeting in the middle, understanding the other and compromising on their needs and wishes.

In the frame is also the red fabric, the blue scaffolding, and the yellow of the buffalo (which has been purposefully moved here from the front of the curtain for this shot). Not only that, I realised after seeing @elogval's beautiful artwork that the wall on the left is mint green. All the important colours. Regarding the clothes, Pran is in a sandy top with blue stripes (I have written about this in the friend group post - 3/3 of this series) and Pat is holding the 'friend/unfriend' shirt. It's not a surprise that after he puts it on again we come to the final moment of trouble - when the curtain falls and their relationship gets revealed.

[Ep 1] [Ep 2] [Ep 3] [Ep 4] [Ep 5] [Ep 6] [Ep 7] [Ep 8] [Ep 9] [Ep 10]

[yellowsuitcase]

In the Prefect’s Bathroom Part 4 // Draco Malfoy

A/N: Guys!!! It's the FINAL part, yay!! I'm super proud of this and I think it's super cute and just AAHH I really hope y'all like it. Lemme know what you think of it and if you expected any of it. Thank you so much for reading, and Happy Thanksgiving (if you celebrate it)

Summary: Draco has been trying to get Y/N to talk to him since he confessed, but he hasn't had any luck. Until, he finds something she left in his dorm.

Warning(s): SMUT! Unprotected sex, lots of fluff, swearing, angst

Word Count: 5k

Masterlist & Taglist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Three weeks had gone by, and now Draco was on his bed, toying with the idea of giving up. Y/N had been avoiding him ever since that day he confessed. No matter how hard he tried to get her to warm back up to him, she kept her distance. He had tried everything. He'd sit next to her in class; she'd move seats. He'd wait outside the Gryffindor tower; she'd strut right past him. It seemed as nothing was working, so of course, he was getting a bit discouraged.

Just a couple days ago, the two of them had been in Charms class, and on his way out, Draco noticed that Y/N had dropped her book. This is my chance, he thought to himself. He quickly bent down to pick it up since he assumed she would've been already halfway down the corridor by the time he got back up. But when he arose from the floor, she was standing right in front of him. His heart pounded in his chest. Draco knew he had to stall for time, try and get her defenses to weaken. He turned the book over in his hands. "The Tales of Beedle and Bard," he read aloud. Y/N blushed and averted her eyes. He opened the cover and read the first few lines to himself.

There was once a kindly old wizard who used his magic generously and wisely for the benefit of his neighbours. Rather than reveal the true source of his power, he pretended that his potions, charms and antidotes sprang ready-made from the little cauldron he called his lucky cooking pot.

Draco shut the book and said, "I've actually never read them. My father didn't permit me to. Said it was written by a muggle lover. Supposedly he filed an official request to remove it from Hogwarts's shelves." Draco chuckled as he ran his finger along the spine of the light blue book. But his laughter died when he glanced up at Y/N. She looked rather upset, causing Draco to panic and quickly backtrack. "That isn't to say I don't want to read them now. I mean, I'm sure they're not as bad as Father thought they were," he sputtered. Y/N remained silent. "Perhaps... we could read them together, maybe?" he asked hopefully. He knew it was a shot in the dark, but he did it anyway. Draco hadn't heard Y/N's voice in weeks, and it was making him grow desperate.

Softly, she reached out her hand, and Draco held his breath. But then her fingers grasped the book, and the Slytherin felt his heart shatter. He cleared his throat, trying to push away the lump that had formed in it. His grip loosened, and Y/N pulled her book towards her chest. She didn't even look at him before she turned around and rushed down the hallway, leaving Draco feeling stranded, hopeless, and, quite frankly, stupid for even trying.

Since then, he hadn't put in nearly as much effort into rekindling their friendship. It was painfully obvious Y/N wanted nothing more to do with him, and as much as it hurt, Draco had to accept that. But that didn't stop his thoughts. It couldn't. Every night, he would lay awake, worrying. Worrying about Y/N's wellbeing. Was she happy? Did she make any new friends?

Did she still feel alone?

Draco didn't know. From the little he'd seen of her, he assumed she was alright. He hoped she was. But he had no real way of knowing. He had tried reaching out to her roommate multiple times, but all Stephanie would tell him was that she thought Y/N seemed fine, just a bit quiet. That answer never sat well with him. During those few weeks, before he confessed, he had learned so much about Y/N. One of those things being that she was not quiet. She had talked his ear off many times, telling him funny stories from her childhood. Like how, after one of their study sessions, she told him about the time she had made her pet fish turn yellow just by looking at it. Draco remembered that day clearly.

"My mum was terrified! One moment my fish was blue and the next he was yellow! I mean, imagine that." Y/N laughed. Draco shook his head in disbelief. "Sounds like you were quite the little mischief-maker," he replied as he twirled his wand between his fingers, it was becoming a bit of a habit. Y/N continued giggling, kicking her legs as she did so. "You should've seen the look on my dad's face when he got home. That was the day he sat her and me down and told us he was a wizard. My poor mum. She had no idea."

Draco sat up in shock. "Wait, wait, you're a half-blood?" he asked, eyes wide. Y/N cocked an eyebrow. "Is that a problem, Malfoy?" she questioned as she began to sit up. Her tone was somewhat threatening. Draco raised his hands to show his lack of ill intention. "No, no. I was just surprised," he quickly explained. Y/N chuckled and waved her hand towards him. "Relax, I'm only playing with you," she assured him. Her words piqued Draco's interest. He wiggled his eyebrows and licked his lips, staring suggestively into her eyes. "Well, I'd sure like to play with you," he husked. Y/N gasped loudly and swiftly removed the pillow from behind her back and chucked it at the blonde boy sitting across from her. "Draco!" she screeched. "Joking!" he mumbled. "Just joking...unless."

Y/N crossed her arms, and obnoxiously shook her head while clicking her tongue disapprovingly. Draco snickered before throwing the pillow back at her, making her giggle. His heart skipped a beat as he watched her eyes twinkle. She looked unreal to Draco, ethereal almost. However, he was torn from his trance by her continuing the story. "Anyways, as I was saying, my lovely mum had the shock of her life. I was surprised as well. I mean, I had just found out I was a bloody witch. Although I was much more delighted than she was. Come to think of it, she might've cried," Y/N said with a small frown. "Wow..." Draco muttered. "But what does she think of it now? What with you being at Hogwarts and all."

Y/N hummed to herself, recalling that last time she and her mother spoke about Hogwarts. "Well, I think she thinks it's a bit surreal, you know? She always imagined I'd graduate and go off to university to become a doctor or something, but here I am at a school for wizards and witches," she said while gesturing to the castle walls around her. Draco nodded although he was a bit confused. "She just doesn't understand, right?" he asked. Y/N pursed her lips. "I think she will, with time. Maybe I can introduce her to you and your family. Now that would be really fun," she suggested with a mischievous glint in her eye. Draco furrowed his eyebrows. "And why is that?" he questioned, staring at the giggling girl. "Just imagine me introducing you. I'd say, hey mum, this is my best friend and his wizard parents who dress like they're going to a funeral every single day. Oh, and they also own a mansion in the countryside because they're rolling in galleons!" Y/N bellowed, nearly falling over as she clutched her stomach, erupting in laughter.

Draco would've berated her for the slander towards his parents, but his mind was fixated on three words, "My best friend." He waited until Y/N ceased laughing before asking her, "I'm your best friend?" She looked at him as if he had grown a second head. "Well, duh, you're my only friend, Draco." The Slytherin did his best to hide his blush as he looked to the floor. "You're mine too," he mumbled. But Y/N didn't hear.

Draco sighed as he sat on his bed. He missed her. He wished so badly that she'd walk through his door. But she wouldn't, and he knew that. Slowly, he pushed himself off the green covered mattress and walked over to his wooden desk. A piece of parchment was already on top of it, so he took a seat, and he reached for his ink bottle and quill. His nimble fingers unscrewed the cap, and he dipped the point inside it, drenching it in black liquid. He'd written letters to Y/N many times, but every time he finished one, he'd get scared and chuck it into the bin. Draco knew he'd probably do the same tonight, but he wanted to try. So he pressed his quill to the paper and began.

"Dear Y/N, I hope you are doing well. I'm writing to you to give you my apologies. I should've known better than to confess my feelings for you at such a time. I really hope..." he stilled his hand, not knowing what to say next. His head was reeling as different thoughts and feelings flooded his brain, none of which he knew how to convey in words. She made him so dizzy. But, ever persistent, Draco started again.

"Dear Y/N, Are you doing well? I truly hope that you are. I write to you to tell you that I'm sorry for everything. I said and did so many foolish things that day, and if I could take all of them back, I swear, I would. I know I must've frightened you that day, but Y/N, I fear you don't know how much I miss you. I've never felt this empty before. But I know it's because you're not here. I need you..." Draco, in his frustrated haze, crossed out the last line and crumbled the parchment in his fist. He then tossed it across the room, watching as it hit the wall next to his door, and bounced on the foot of his brass coat rack. He stared at it, thinking about donning his coat and taking a walk around campus. But then, he noticed something underneath. He jumped to his feet and rushed over to the rack. Curious, he lifted his black coat off the hook to reveal a brown cardigan underneath. His chest tightened; it was Y/N's. She must've left it in his room after one of their study sessions. Come to think of it, it was probably from the night before Draco confessed.

Hesitantly, the boy reached out and touched his fingers to the cardigan. It was soft. He lifted it up and held it in his hands, letting his emotions settle. Then, he brought it to his nose, breathing in deeply. It still smelled of her: apples, hazelnut, and cinnamon. Draco felt tears begin to gather in his eyes, but he hastily blinked them away. With care, he hung the cardigan back up and retreated to his desk. He got seated, pulled out a new sheet of parchment, and began writing for the third time that night.

------------

Dear Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you well. I'm writing to you to inform you that I've discovered your cardigan in my room. The brown one that is. I suppose you left it after our last study session. I can return it to you tomorrow morning at breakfast, or if you'd prefer, you can fetch it tonight. The current password to the Slytherin common room is Jobberknoll. Hopefully, you remember where my bedroom is, but should you have forgotten, it's at the very top of the stairway on your left. Please knock three times before entering.

There's no need to send an owl with your reply. Just make sure to come before 9:30. If you don't, I'll assume you wish to receive the cardigan at breakfast, in which case, I shall wait for you by the door.

Draco

Y/N clutched the parchment tightly in her hands. She had been scared half to death when an owl landed right beside her while she was sitting by the open windows. But now, she was more afraid of getting her cardigan back. She glanced around her room frantically, as if she'd find an answer to her dilemma upon the walls. Her eyes then drifted back to the parchment in her hands. She looked at where Draco had signed his name. Above it was a dark scribble as if he had scratched something out. What did he write there? It was probably just 'sincerely,' but what if it was something else. What if it was 'with love'? Y/N wondered. She closed her eyes; she needed to calm down. There was no way she'd be able to make a rational decision with such thoughts running through her brain.

But Y/N had nobody to consult, nobody to refer to. Ever since she'd pushed Draco away that day, she'd been alone. Her roommate spoke to her on occasion, but only about school-related things. Almost the entirety of her house had shunned her. And the whole school knew what she did, so making friends had proven to be difficult. But because of this, Y/N had been able to do a lot of thinking. Truthfully, she missed Draco. She hated herself for rejecting him that day. She hated herself because she liked him. The only reason she had rejected him was that she knew she wasn't ready for another relationship. And on top of that, she didn't think she deserved one. Draco wasn't someone she deserved, not in her mind.

But here she was, being forced to make a decision. Should she just wait until tomorrow, or should she go to his room? Her brain was telling her to wait until tomorrow; that way, she could take the cardigan, thank him, and be on her merry way. But her heart screamed at her to go to him. Go to him, confess to him, bring him back into her life. Y/N glanced at the clock; it was nearly nine. "Fuck," she muttered before pushing off the window seat; her loneliness had gotten the best of her.

She rushed towards her closet and flung the doors open. Her eyes scanned the array of clothing for a few moments before she pulled out her favorite pair of light grey sweatpants along with her pale green crewneck. She threw them on and tucked her wand into her pocket. Then she checked herself in the mirror. Her hair was already pulled back, and she had light mascara on. It was good enough, in her opinion, so she slipped on her shoes and turned her doorknob with a shaky hand.

--------

Draco was sitting in his armchair with a blue book in his hands when he heard three distinct knocks at his door. His breathing began to hasten; surely, it couldn't be... Only one way to find out. "Come in!" he called. The door swung open to reveal Y/N. She looked nervous as all hell but nevertheless, stepped inside his room and closed the door behind her. Neither of them said anything. They simply stared at one another. But luckily, Draco came to his senses. "Right, your cardigan," he said as he dropped his book and stood up. He grabbed the cardigan off the back of his chair and walked over to her, holding out the garment. "Here you are." Y/N took it into her hands and examined it. "Thank you, I thought it was lost forever," she told him with a smile. Draco faltered for a moment. He'd forgotten how sweet her voice was. But then he nodded, and the awkward silence returned. It hung in the air for a few moments before it was broken by the two of them simultaneously blurting out, "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry, Y/N," Draco insisted while shifting his eyes to the floor. "I acted like a fool that day a-and I frightened you, and I made you so overwhelmed. I should've known better, and I am so sorry...I've missed you so much," he said, whispering his last few words. Eventually, he found the courage to look up, and when he did, he saw that Y/N was crying. His heart clenched, and he felt regret pool in his gut. But before he could apologize again, Y/N spoke up.

"I've missed you too, Draco. And I'm not sorry I rejected you that day, I'm sorry that I kicked you out of my life. I thought I was protecting myself because I just knew I would've gone back on my decision if I had let you stay. I liked you too, I still do, but I just wasn't ready. You're too good to be true. I don't deserve a second chance; I don't deserve you. But you didn't deserve to be shut out, and I really hope you can forgive—"

Y/N was cut off by Draco smashing his lips against hers. He held her face in his hands as she gasped, allowing him to sneak his tongue out and run it along her lower lip. She moaned into his mouth as he started to nibble. His hands traveled downwards until they settled on her hips. He pulled her closer and groaned when his hips touched hers. God, how he had missed this. Then, Y/N reached up and ran her hands through his hair, successfully messing it up. Draco knew he wanted more but pulled away from her lips. She breathed heavily and looked into his eyes, puzzled as to why he stopped.

"You're mine...right?" Draco asked anxiously. Y/N smiled and pulled him close for another soft kiss. "I'm yours," she whispered. Draco kissed her again, and she eagerly returned it. Hesitantly, Draco sneaked his hand underneath her shirt, merely letting it sit there against her hot skin as he slipped his tongue into her mouth again. Then, he began to slide his hand up her torso, all while paying attention to her reactions. She seemed to be kissing him harder as he gently ran his thumb along the underside of her breast. He took that as a sign he was doing good, so he placed his hand on top of it and squeezed. Y/N let out a loud moan and pulled away from the kiss. "Draco, please," she whined. He snickered as he studied her pleading face. "What do you need, princess?" he asked in a sultry voice. Y/N squirmed and continued to whine. Draco clicked his tongue. "Always so scared to tell me what you want. There's no need to be embarrassed. I'll give you whatever you want. I just need you to tell me," he reminded her gently. She bit her lip and stared at the floor before finally answering.

"I wanna have sex with you," she whispered. Her face was crimson. Draco felt his heart squeeze; she was too cute. He put his hand underneath her chin and tilted it upwards. A gentle kiss was planted on her lips. "I wanna have sex with you too, darling," he murmured. Y/N couldn't hide her smile as she swiftly took his hand and led him to the bed. Draco smirked and, with sneaky hands, pushed her onto the bed, making her squeal. "Draco!" she yelled with her back now pressed against the mattress. The Slytherin wasted no time; he jumped on top of her while mimicking a roar, causing Y/N to burst into laughter. Her laugh was music to his ears.

Draco tugged her shirt up and off her body, throwing it to the floor. His hands immediately traveled to her back where he unclasped her bra, throwing that away too. Draco felt his dick twitch in his pants upon seeing her nipples harden in the cold air. He leaned down and latched his lips onto one of them while twisting the other between his fingers. Y/N's gasp sent a shiver down his spine, and he sucked her even harder.

"Draco..." she moaned. Draco let go of her tits and sat up, admiring her flushed face. Then Y/N suddenly sat up and grasped the bottom of his shirt and proceeded to yank it off him. Draco only watched as she did this. Her hands then traveled to his pants. She unzipped him and pushed his waistband down, exposing his briefs. He helped her out by maneuvering himself off his knees so that he could kick his pants off.

Once the pants joined the rest of the clothes, Y/N reached for the top of his underwear. But before she could go any further, Draco stopped her. She looked at him, confused as to why he wouldn't want her to touch him. "Tonight is about you, darling. Lie back for me now," Draco instructed. Y/N's face turned red, but she did as she was told and lowered her body onto the bed. Draco's hands grasped her pants, and he slowly pulled them down, stopping to press kisses to her thighs as he went. They were both in only their underwear now, and he could see Y/N was getting impatient. "Speak princess, what do you want?" Draco asked. Y/N pressed her thighs together and rolled her hips a bit before she spoke. "Finger me, please," she begged. Draco smiled at her and immediately pressed his fingers to her pussy, still covered by her panties.

"So polite," he purred as he gently rubbed her clit through her underwear. She closed her eyes and hummed in pleasure. "That feel good, princess?" Draco asked. Y/N nodded and opened her mouth to reply, but a long moan quickly replaced the words on her tongue as Draco applied more pressure to her nub. He continued to swirl his finger around it for a couple minutes, then he slid a different finger past her panties and slowly pushed it inside, feeling her thighs clench as he did so. "So tight," he mumbled before leaning down and giving her a sweet kiss. The intrusion of another finger caused her to gasp into his mouth. Draco groaned and pressed down on her clit, making her hips jump.

"Did you miss this? Did you miss my fingers inside you and my kisses on your body?" he questioned as he thrusted into her. Y/N clenched her walls around his digits and nodded eagerly. "So much. So fucking much," she mewled. Draco added another finger and increased his pace. He noticed Y/N's breathing beginning to get quicker, and he knew she was close. So he finger-fucked her hole for a minute more before withdrawing his hand. Y/N cried out in frustration and glared at him angrily. "Why did you do that?" she whined.

But then, without warning, Draco lifted up her shirt and pressed his lips to her soft stomach, blowing a raspberry onto it. Y/N instantly screamed and wiggled violently underneath him. "STOP, STOP!" she shrieked, trying to get away as her giggles became uncontrollable. Eventually, Draco took mercy on her and ceased his torment. He leaned up to see Y/N was out of breath, and her hair was a mess. "Quit playing games and put your dick inside me, you twat," she ordered. Draco's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "If you say so," he muttered, taking his cock out of his underwear. Y/N's eyes widened, but before she could say or do anything, Draco slid all the way inside her, burying his dick in her pussy. "Ohhh, fuck," she moaned. Draco grunted as he adjusted to the tightness of her hole. He had the instinct to begin slamming into her, but he controlled his urges and allowed her body to adapt to him as he positioned his hands next to her head.

Y/N's walls clenched around him, and she bucked her hips. "Move, please," she pleaded softly. "As you wish," Draco said as he slowly pulled himself out and thrusted back in, setting a slow but consistent pace. Y/N let out quiet mewls as he moved in and out. Her legs found their way to his waist, and they quickly wrapped around it. This pulled him closer and forced his dick deeper inside her. "Fuck," Draco moaned as he leaned down for a kiss while continuing to thrust. Y/N hummed into his mouth and flicked her tongue against his. "Shit, you feel so good," she purred. Draco's cock twitched at her words, and he increased his pace. A harsh grunt escaped him as Y/N reached up and dug her nails into his back. "You're so gorgeous, Y/N," he breathed. "So goddamn gorgeous."

Suddenly, Draco's sensual thrusts were halted by Y/N calling his name. "Yes, darling?" he replied. "You can be rough, I don't mind," she told him gently. Draco smiled down at her and pressed quick kisses along her jaw. "I know, but I can do that another night. Right now," he angled his head so that his lips were by her ear, "I'm making love to you," he whispered, feeling her shudder beneath him.

Y/N's eyes grew soft, and she moved her hands to his face. "You're perfect," she mumbled before pulling his lips to hers, where they shared a passionate kiss. "So perfect." Draco started to thrust again, resuming his slower pace. The force of his cock rocked the couple back and forth on the plush pillows. But then, he had an idea.

He moved his hands from their spot beside Y/N's head, slid them underneath her back, and lifted her up. "Shit," she cursed as she was now on Draco's lap, his dick still buried deep inside her. Slowly, Draco raised her off him and turned her around so that her back was facing him. He then repositioned her hips above his cock and gently lowered her onto it. "Ohhh," she moaned as she once again became full. She was about to lift herself up and fuck herself on his dick, but Draco's hands stopped her. He pushed her legs wide and placed his hand over her pussy. This didn't please Y/N. She started to squirm and buck her hips forward, causing Draco to groan as she stimulated his cock. "Stay still, princess. I'll take care of you," he assured her. His fingers pressed against her heat and slowly spread the upper lips, exposing her clit. With his other hand, he touched his fingers to her nub and slowly began to circle it. Y/N's head fell back onto his shoulder, and a long, deep groan escaped her throat.

"Oh my god," she whimpered as her breathing became ragged. Draco's hands never stopped or stuttered, not even when Y/N's walls squeezed him tight. He just kept rubbing and rubbing; her soft pants sounded like heaven to him. Suddenly, Y/N's thighs began to tense. "Draco, fuck, I'm close," she muttered. Draco turned his head and once again hovered his lips next to her ear. "Cum on me. Cum with me buried inside you," he ordered. Y/N gasped and rolled her head on his shoulder. He could tell she was almost there. "Oh, god. Fuck, fuck, fuck, just a little more," she begged.

Draco kept circling her clit until finally, she inhaled sharply, and her walls clenched him hard. His finger didn't stop; it continued to rub her throughout her high. It only ceased when Draco felt her body jolt from overstimulation. He then pushed her forward onto her hands and knees and began pounding into her, chasing his own climax. The sounds of skin slapping combined with the tightness of Y/N's pussy lit a fire in Draco's abdomen, and soon, he was pushed over the edge. "Cumming," he warned her before he released inside Y/N with a deep groan. The couple remained in that position for a good minute, breathing heavily. Then Draco pulled himself out and laughed as Y/N immediately collapsed face-first onto his bed. He gently flipped her over and kissed her cheek. "You alright, darling?" he asked. She smiled and turned to him. Then, without thinking, she blurted, "I think I love you." Immediately, Y/N slapped her hand over her mouth. But Draco only grinned and said, "I love you too, Y/N."

She lowered her hand and averted her eyes as blush filled her cheeks. "Draco, are we..." she trailed off, looking apprehensive. "Boyfriend and girlfriend?" he asked. Y/N nodded. "I'd love to be your boyfriend, darling," he said sweetly. In less than a second, Draco was attacked by a forceful hug from Y/N. He wrapped his arms around her still naked body and held her close, breathing in her scent: apples, hazelnut, and cinnamon.

"Thank you for not giving up on me," she said softly. "I don't know what I would've done with myself if you had just stopped caring one day," Y/N confessed. Draco gently pulled away from the hug and cradled his girlfriend's face in his hands. "I never  would've stopped caring. Y/N you were all I thought about," he assured her. He watched as her tears began to fall from her eyes. "Don't cry, sweetheart, I'm here now; I've got you. There's no need to cry," he said sweetly, trying to comfort her. But Y/N kept on crying, so he dragged a blanket over his lap and pulled her on top of it. "Look at me, darling," he instructed lightly. She rubbed her tears away with her arm and looked into Draco's eyes.

"I love you. I love you so much. Do not waste your tears on the mistakes of the past. All that matters is that I've got you, and you've got me. Alright?" Y/N continued to wipe her tears and nodded. "Alright. I love you too," she replied.

Draco pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, slid her off his lap, and stood up from the bed. He grabbed some tissues and cleaned himself off before doing the same for Y/N. Then he pulled on his underwear and tossed Y/N hers. As she was getting dressed, Draco strode over to his armchair. In the seat of it sat a small blue book. He picked it up and took it with him as he went back to bed. Y/N was already under the covers; she looked at him quizzically when she noticed the object in his hand. Her mouth opened to speak, but Draco quickly shushed her. He slid under the covers and cozied up next to Y/N. Then, he cracked open the book, cleared his throat, and began to read.

"There was once a kindly old wizard who used his magic generously and wisely for the benefit of his neighbours. Rather than reveal the true source of his power, he pretended that his potions, charms and antidotes sprang ready-made from the little cauldron he called his lucky cooking pot."

The End

Taglist: @beiahadid @pastelpuffbar @cutie1365 @dracoxmgg @lumlfy @sambucky8 @emilianamason @orangecrayon @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @hustlinhufflepuff @goddessofgames @dracocanslytherin8 @superbturtlemakerathlete @raplinethereal @mllzhxrrz44 @dixiethemorab24 @prongsandprancer @azkabanlexi

[fluffi]

MY DETENTION BUDDY :: JAY

pairing: jay x gn!reader genre: fluff, badboy!jay, highschool!au, friends-enemies-lovers!au word count: 2k event: for @lovesick-net​​ and (early) jay day 200421 <3 author’s note: simple little one-shot for jay’s birthday (i wont be uploading anything for his actual birthday). i had to speedrun this fic because i kept changing the plot and this hasnt been proofread twice (unlike my other fics) T-T i hope it’ll still work out. warnings: (reader makes one bad decision)

Ring...ring...ring...ring..ring…

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring

Ringringringringiringringringring.

RIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRRI-SLAM!

The alarm clock stopped its boisterous wailing

10 more minutes. I don’t have to style my hair today.

Thirty minutes passed.

RIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRI- SLAM!

Ugh. I’ll just miss assembly.

RIRIRIIRRIRIRI-

This time, the ringing stopped before he could slam his hand over the alarm clock.

“Jongseong, do you not have school today?” Jay could only make out a bush of black that stood above him as he sat up, dazed and drowsy.

“Yeah, I do. I’m about to get ready. Why?”

“It’s 9 am! You should be at school! At this point, you don’t even have to go anymore.” His mother huffed in disappointment.

It was an exaggeration, but she had a point. School started at eight in the morning. It was already an hour later but he was still sitting in bed.

“I’ll get ready now. 10 minutes. Good to go.” He shooed his mom away, already running to the bathroom to wash up.

“I’m leaving now Jay. You know darn well that I have an important meeting today and I can’t miss it just for you to not get a tardy. Heck, you’re already late! You’re-”

“Mom! I can’t walk to school! It takes too long.” Jay whined as he brushed his teeth, his muffled voice interrupting his mother’s speech.

“Young man, stop interrupting me. I told you a week ago about today’s event and it’s not my fault that my oldest son can’t take care of himself. You’re going to have to take another mode of transport, you’re old enough to deal with this yourself!” With that, his mother stormed out of his room, her feet obnoxiously thumping on the floor.

“I’m also your only son...” Jay muttered. 

Of all days, why did she have to have her meeting today? Monthly evaluations aren’t that important. Dangit, I should’ve been taught how to drive. Jay returned to his rapid multitasking, grabbing his school uniform while washing his face. He didn’t even look twice,

After taking the quickest shower he had ever taken in his entire life and shoving all of his essential (what he determined as essential, at least) belongings into his bag, he opened to door and dashed outside only to be met with…

Rain.

Rain everywhere. Drenching the front yard’s perfectly tended flower garden and creating heaps of watery mud. It was pouring at 9.15 am. There was thunder and occasional flashes of light zooming through the clouds. The city was in shambles.

Not like, shamble, shambles. It was shambles in Jay’s opinion as he groaned and stomped his way through the rain.

Screw school. Screw this stupid rain, screw my alarm clock, screw this-

“Dude, why are you running in the rain? You’re soaked. Are you heading to school?” A pink-haired boy in a red Ferrari shouted from across the street.

Jay sighed in relief, immediately running across the road to said Ferrari. “Choi Yeonjun. You are a life-saver. Could I get a ride real quick? I’ll pay back for engine fees and for soaking the inside of your Ferrari with rainwater.”

“Hop right in, and don’t worry about returning. Let’s have some fun with this baby.” Yeonjun smirked and revved the engine, swerving past cars and buildings like it was a little RPG game.

At this rate, I’ll make it to school in no time.

“Dude, I’m so sorry. I guess you have to walk.”

Just as he thought things were taking a better turn, Yeonjun decides to show off his new driving skills and zooms through roads at a rapid speed, so fast that he crashed the car by a tree. It was a miracle that both of them didn’t get hurt but as far as Jay was concerned, he could worry about that some other time. This was just slowing him down on his long and tedious journey towards his form of hell.

On the bright side, the rain had stopped and the sunshine was back as if nothing had happened.

“I’ll get going to school.” Jay internally groaned and started sprinting in the direction of his school.

“Hey, at least I helped you get closer to school! Didn’t I?” Yeonjun shouted from behind and coyly smiled.

Such a boastful punk, Jay thought. “Whatever, bro!” He turned back and gave his older friend a quick wave before dashing off.

“Park Jongseong! You’re late...again.”

“I’m aware.” Jay didn’t spare his English teacher an eye and slung his backpack over the chair, about to take a seat.

“Stop giving me attitude, I’m your teacher.Why are you tardy for the fourth time this month?”

“Alarm clock.”

“Alarm clock what? Are you afraid to speak up? I don’t see you acting like this in the hallways.”

Jay looked down at his feet and sighed before side-eyeing his teacher. “Overslept, okay? Sir if you could just let me off the hook you would be able to proceed with your Shakespeare nonsense.”

The entire class snickered. It was no secret that Jay loathed Mr. Jung, the English teacher. Who didn’t? Mr. Jung treated every student in school like they were incapable toddlers and it was a wonder that anyone would dare to stand up to his stupid remarks. Jay’s carefree attitude towards his horrible teachers was one of the reasons why he earned so many fangirls.

Not like you were one, of course. You watched as he pulled his chair out and sat next to you out of the three other vacant seats at the back of the class.

Mr. Jung rolled his eyes and continued writing on the blackboard. “Also, Jongseong,” he added, “you’re wearing your school shirt the wrong way round. See you in detention for your tardiness.”

A few of the girls in a few seats in front of him whispered rapidly, although whispering didn’t stop Jay from finding out about their gossip.

“Lol! So much for being the bad boy of our grade. He looks like a wreck today.”

“I know right? I wonder what the other fangirls will think of this. Should we send the pictures to the fan club?”

The second girl giggled. “Yeah, duh. Name it jay-park-wreck-images.”

So much for my reputation. Jay could only roll his eyes as he pulled out his supplies, ignoring the camera clicks coming from the seats in front of him.

“Oh, yay. At least I’ll have a detention buddy now.”

Jay eyed you up and down like your statement was some sort of monstrosity. “Detention? You, detention? Pfft.” He laughed.

“Yeah, Jay. Me, detention. Why are you so happy about it? Glad to be stuck with another girl?”

“What, no-no. You just...don’t seem like the type to be in detention. How’d you get it?”

“This..may be kind of embarrassing, but...” You turned to the side and Jay gasped.

On the sleeve of your uniform was a...rabbit? It wasn’t too obvious as to what the marker doodle was but it was apparent that you had intentionally spent time to draw on it.

“Look, I was bored in assembly this morning and found a spare marker in my pocket! Don’t judge, we all know how bad assembly can be.” You blurted just as Jay was about to ask why you had done what you did.

“You could’ve just drawn on your hand or done something else with the marker.” Jay sighed and shook his head at your dumb decision.

“I was out of my mind, okay? Ugh, Assembly always drives me nuts. I got called out for for the horrendous ink bleed when Mr. Jung saw as I walked into the classroom. He said it ‘didn’t follow school guidelines’.”

“For once, I agree with Mr. Jung. It was a stupid choice, you know? If you didn’t draw on your uniform then you wouldn’t have to go to detention now.”

“Jay Park, the bad boy of school, is telling me to be a rule abider. Biggest twist of the century.” You rolled your eyes.

Jay frowned and turned back at you, losing that little spark in his eyes that he once kept. “I’m not a bad boy you know? I just don’t like the system in place here.”

“As if anyone is going to believe that. Go hang out with another girl of yours. I’m not here to be your toy.”

“People like you are the reason why everyone thinks I’m a bad person. I thought you were different, you know?”

You had been preoccupied with taking notes for class, but now you looked at him with squinted eyes. “Well, I am different. Different as In someone who doesn’t fall for your useless charms. Go suck up to your fangirls or something.”

Jay rolled his eyes and scooted away from you. He thought he had been lucky to meet you, but he guessed not.

You always do this, you idiot. You were so close to making a new friend.

You put your hands in your head and side-eyed Jay, who seemed to be struggling as Mr. Jung blurted out an entire unit’s summary.

The boy hadn’t brought any stationery and was definitely on the wrong page of the textbook. You figured that he was this disheveled from his absolute lack of planning but you still felt bad.

His hair was a mess, it was still damp from the rain before. If only you could help him style it…

Why do I want to touch his hair? That’s weird and gross.

You were so occupied with thinking about Jay that you realized that he was still struggling in class.

Maybe you could make things better.

“I’m sorry.”

Jay was struggling to find the page you guys were on for class when a pencil blocked his view.

“What do you want?” He said as he tried to look past your pencil swinging.

“It’s a pencil for you since I realized that your table is practically empty and you’re going to need something to take notes with for later. Also, it’s page 153, not 53.” You leaned over to help him flip the pages.

“Oh, that makes so much more sense. I was wondering why we were relearning unit 3 when finals aren’t even near yet.”

You raised your eyebrows, looking up at a relieved Jay. “So you do pay attention in class.”

“Of course I do! I’m a student. You should stop using that stereotype on me.” Jay frowned and a tinge of disappointment shadowed his face.

“Right, I know. I’m sorry. I’m trying to work on it, it’s rumors and assumptions that have built up over the past few years and I understand that it shouldn’t get in the way of our friendship.”

“Friendship? We have a friendship?” Jay chuckled and cocked an eyebrow up, teasing you.

Maybe it was that eyebrow slit or the weird tension that was building up between the both of you. You felt your face heat up. “I mean- yeah, friendship. Are we not friends?”

“I don’t know, hun. I thought we were something more.”

“Um...best...friends?”

It was perfect timing as the bell rang and you immediately started packing things into your bag, eyes glued to the clock instead of the amused boy next to you.

Jay laughed, running his hands through his blonde locks and watching as you started running out of class, your eyes occasionally looking back at him to see if he was still staring at you.

“See you in detention!” He called, drawing the attention of your classmates.

Jay Park needs to learn how to shut his mouth. Everyone was now staring at you and you were flustered, embarrassed, shocked, and confused. The weird mix of emotions were driving you nuts. All you could muster was a little nod and you dashed out of there as fast as you could.

“Today we’re going to learn about Murphy’s Law. It is where anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”

“But everything that can work, will work.” Jay raised his hand and added, sparing a glance at you jotting notes in the back of the classroom, oblivious to his reference towards you.

“You’re right Jay. Murphy’s Law works both ways. Reversing it is considered part of science…”

Today morning was a storm (figuratively and literally) and everything seemed to be going wrong for Jay. Murphy’s Law prevails. but there’s always a rainbow after the storm. You were his rainbow and his lucky charm.

2021 © fluffi

[variousqueerthings]

Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part 1 of 3

Disclaimers and trigger warnings: 

1. These fairytales are European, although there’s often overlap in themes globally. I know European fairytales better, which is essentially the reason I’m not going to branch out too far. I opted to also stick to Western movies so as not to narrow things down, but also in particular “waves hand towards all of Ghibli” amongst many others. There’s a reason the guys in Ghibli are so gender.

2. TW for discussions of rape culture and rape fantasies

EDIT: FUCK I’M A GOBLIN CHILD! FORGOT TO PUT A MASSIVE MASSIVE THANK YOU TO @mimsyaf​ WHO HAS BEEN THE NICEST, KINDEST EDITOR ON THESE THOUGHTS AND CONTRIBUTED SO MUCH TO THEM AND GENERALLY IS A WONDERFUL PERSON!

Part 2

Part 3

1. Introduction

I recently wrote a little thing, which was about Daniel as a fairytale protagonist – specifically one that goes through some of the kinds of transformations that are often associated with female protagonists of fairytales.

I used quotes from Red Riding Hood, Labyrinth, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and Dracula, which, as an aside – the overlap between fairytales, horror, and fantasy and the ways each of those genres delve into very deep, basic questions of humanity and the world is something that will always make me feral. I will be generally sticking with fairytales though. Also I am very excited about some of those Labyrinth concepts going around!

I’m going to use “feminine” and “masculine” in both gendered (as in relating specifically to people) and non-gendered (as in relating to codes) ways throughout this, depending on context.

To be binary for a moment, because sample-sizes of other genders are low, women are usually able to fall into either feminine or masculine arcs, although sometimes the masculine-coded woman can become a “not like the other girls” stereotype and the feminine-coded woman a shallow cliché – in both cases they’re also under more scrutiny and judgement, so it’s always worth asking “is this character not working for me because of the writing or because I have ingrained biases? (Both?)”

Men don’t often get feminine-coded arcs. Because. Probably a mix of biases and bigotry. But there are some that seem to have slipped beneath the shuttered fence of “Sufficient Narrative Testosterone,” and Daniel LaRusso is one of them.

2. Some Dude Comparisons (Men Doing Manly Action-Hero Things like being trans symbolism and loving your girlfriend… seriously those things are hella manly, I wish we saw more of that onscreen…)

a. Neo

Much like Neo The Matrix, whose journey is filled with transgender subtext and specifically and repeatedly references Alice In Wonderland, Daniel doesn’t go through quite the kind of hero's journey usually associated with Yer Standard Male Hero, especially the type found in the 80s/90s.

Neo is my favourite comparison, because of the purposefulness of his journey as a trans narrative and the use of Alice. But I’m sure there are other non-traditional male heroes out there (but are they trans tho? Please tell me, I want trans action heroes).

Neo “passes” as a socially acceptable man, but online goes by a different name - the name he prefers to be known by - feels like there’s something inherently wrong about the world around him and his body’s place in that society, and then gets taken down the rabbit hole (with his consent, although without really “knowing” what he’s consenting to) to discover that it’s the world that’s wrong - not him. And by accessing this truth he can literally make his body do and become whatever he wants it to.

Yay. (The message of the Matrix is actually that trans people can fly).

Neo is – kind of like Daniel – a strange character for Very Cis Straight Guys to imprint on. He spends most of the first movie unsure about what’s going on, out of his depth, and often getting beaten up. He is compared to Alice several times and at the end he dies. He loses. He has to be woken up with true love’s kiss, in a fun little Sleeping Beauty/Snow White twist. Yes, after that he can fly, but before that he’s getting dead-named and hate-crimed by The Most Obvious Stand-In For Normativity, Agent Smith, and being carried by people far more physically capable than he is (people who also fall outside of normative existence).

Trinity and Neo in The Matrix. The fact that a lot of the time neither of them is gendered is something. Literally brought to life by true love’s kiss.

I’m not about to argue that Daniel LaRusso is purposefully written along these same thought processes, so much as the luck of the way he was written, cast, directed, acted, and costumed all came together in the right way. And this is even more obvious when compared to That Other Underdog Fite Movie That Was By The Same Director as Karate Kid.

b. Rocky

The interesting thing about Rocky is that he is (despite being a male action icon) also not written as a Traditionally Masculine person. Large portions of Rocky – and subsequent Rocky films – are his fear and insecurity about fighting vs his inability to apply his skills to another piece of work and wanting to do right by his girlfriend (and future wife), Adrian. The fighting is most often pushed onto him against his will.

Much like in Karate Kid there is barely any fighting in Rocky I. Most of it is dedicated to how much Rocky loves Adrian and the two of them getting together. The fight is – again like in Karate Kid – a necessary violence, rather than a glorified one (within the plot, obviously watching any movie like this is also partly about the badassness of some element of the violence – whether stamina or the crane kick, it’s all about not backing down against a more powerful opponent).

Rocky is played by Sylvester Stallone. He’s tough, he’s already a fighter (albeit in the movie not a great one yet), he’s taking the fight for cash – so although he’s also soft-spoken and sweet, you’re aware of the fact that he’s got those traits that’d make a male audience go “Hell Yeah, A Man,” or whatever it is a male audience does watching movies like that… cis straight men imprinting on oiled muscle men sure is a strange phenomenon, why do you wanna watch a boxing match? So you can watch toned guys groaning and grappling with each other? Because you want to feel like A Man by allowing yourself to touch the skin of other men?

Apollo and Rocky in Rocky III. This sequence also includes prolonged shots of their crotches as they run. Sylvester Stallone directed this. This was intentional. Bros.

Daniel LaRusso is not built like that. But that doesn’t really have to matter. Being smallish and probably more likely to be described as “pretty” than handsome, and not having a toxic masculine bone in his body does not a feminine archetype make. It just makes a compelling (and pretty) underdog. 

c. Daniel

So where does the main difference really lie? Between Rocky and Daniel? Well, Rocky has the plot in his hands – Daniel, largely, does not. Rocky is acting. Daniel is reacting or being pushed into situations by others. Just like our boy Neo. Just like Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, Snow White – just like some of the women in some contemporary(ish) fairytale films like Buttercup (Princess Bride), Dorothy (Wizard of Oz), or Sarah (Labyrinth).

This isn’t a necessary negative about stories about girls and women, so much as looking at what it is girls and women in fairytales have/don’t have, what they want, and how they’re going to get it. It’s about power (lack of), sexuality (repressed, then liberated), men, and crossing some taboo lines. It’s also about queerness.

3. The Karate Kid Part One: Leaving Home

Daniel LaRusso is a poor, skinny, shortish kid (played by a skinny, shortish twenty-two-year old) who doesn’t fit in after having been taken away from the home he was familiar with against his will. Not every male protagonist in a fairytale leaves of his own will, and not every female protagonist leaves under duress – Red Riding Hood, for example, seems perfectly happy to enter the forest. However generally a hero is “striking out to make his fortune,” and generally a heroine is fleeing or making a bargain or being married off or waiting for help to arrive. She is often stuck (and even Red Riding Hood requires saving at some point).

Daniel then encounters a beautiful, lovely girl on the beach, puts on a red hoodie (red is significant), is beaten up by a large, attractive bully, loses what little clout he may have had with his new friends, and generally has a mostly miserable time until he befriends and is saved by Mr Miyagi. To do a little Cinderella comparison: Miyagi is the fairy godmother who pushes Daniel to go to the ball in disguise as well, and that disguise falls to pieces as he’s running away.

Then Daniel asks for help, Miyagi gets him enrolled in a Karate Tournament, and starts teaching him. Daniel wins the tournament and gets the girl, the end.

While Daniel has chutzpah and is a wonderful character, none of the big events are initiated by him, except for the initial going to the forest/beach (and within all of these events Daniel absolutely makes choices – I’m not saying he’s passive): Lucille takes them to California, Miyagi pushes him to go to the dance, Miyagi again decides to enroll him in the tournament and trains him, and only because Kreese doesn’t allow for any other option, Ali is the one who more often than not approaches Daniel, and even their first encounter is pushed by Daniel’s friends.

Daniel really is at a dance/ball in disguise and receives a flower from a girl who recognises him through said disguise, it’s unbearable! It’s adorable! I get it Ali, I fucking get it!

Daniel’s main journey within this – apart from not getting killed by karate thugs (love u Johnny <3) and kissing Ali – is to learn from Miyagi. He’s not necessarily a full-on feminine fairytale archetype at this point, although there are fun things to pull out of it, mainly in the context of later films and Cobra Kai: the subtext of karate and how that builds throughout all the stories, the red clothes, the themes of obsession, his being targeted by boys whose masculinity is more than a little bit toxic and based on shame… more on all that coming up.

He doesn’t technically get a home until they build him a room at Miyagi’s place, but he definitely leaves the woods at the end of this one, trophy lifted in the air after being handed to him by a tearful Johnny and all.

And then they made a sequel.

4. The Karate Kid Part Two: Not Out Of The Woods Yet

Daniel’s won the competition, Kreese chokes out Johnny for daring to lose and cry, more life-lessons are given (for man without forgiveness in heart…) and Daniel and Ali break-up off-screen, confirming that TKK1 was not really about the girl after all, which, despite Daniel and Kumiko having wonderful chemistry, is also an ongoing theme. Daniel enters the screen in The Most Baby-Blue Outfit seen since Tiana’s dress in Princess and the Frog? Or that dress in Enchanted? Maybe Cinderella’s (technically silver, but later depicted as blue)? 

(Sidenote: At everyone who says Sam ought to wear a callback to that suit,  you are correct and sexy).

Surprise, Miyagi’s building him a room.

Double-surprise, Miyagi needs to go to Okinawa.

Triple surprise, Daniel reveals he’s going with him, because he’s his son dammit.

The Karate Kid Part Two is maybe the least Daniel-LaRusso-Feminine-Fairytale-Protagonist of the three, because it’s not really his movie. Daniel runs around with Kumiko (aka the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen), continues to be The Best Non-Toxic Boy a middle-aged Okinawan karate master could ask for, lands himself another Built Karate Rival (twice is just a coincidence, right? Right?), and eventually doesn’t die while wearing red again – twice: When Chozen almost strangles him to death at the Miyagi dojo and then during the final fight. The Saving Of The Girl (both the little girl in the storm and Kumiko) actually puts him in a more traditional masculine space than the previous movie did, even if the main theme of the film is about compassion and kindness and by the end, once more the boy whose masculinity is built on rockhard abs and matchsticks is on his knees. Daniel just has that power over big boys. It’s called kick/punch them in the face hard enough that they see stars.

There’s an aside to be made here about how much Daniel really is an observer in other peoples stories in this, although he is the factor that sends both Chozen and Kumiko into completely different directions in life (Chozen and Kumiko main characters when?) Anyway he comes out of it presumably okay, despite being almost killed. Maybe a few therapy sessions and he’ll get over it. Too bad Terry Silver is lurking around the corner…

5. The Karate Kid Part Three: The Big Bad Wolf

Alright people have written Words about the third movie. It’s fascinating. It’s odd. It’s eye-straining. It’s like olives – you’re either fully onboard the madness or it’s too off-putting for you (or you’re like. Eh, don’t see what all the fuss is about either way...). It’s basically a non-consensual secret BDSM relationship between a guy in his thirties (played by a Very Tall twenty-seven year old Thomas Ian Griffith) and a 17/18 year old (played by a shorter twenty-eight year old Ralph Macchio).

Also recently we got more information on Mr. Griffith’s input on the uh… vibes of the film. Apparently it wasn’t just The Sweetness of Ralph Macchio’s face, the screenplay (whatever that amounted to in the first place – release the script!), the soundtrack, the direction to not tone it down under any circumstances, the fact that Macchio categorically refused to play a romance between himself and an actress who was sixteen, no: it was also TIG coming up with fun ways to torture Daniel’s character and suggesting these to the director. Clearly everyone has fun hurting Mr Macchio (including Mr Macchio).

The point is that aaallll of that amounts to that Intense Homoerotic Dubiously-Consented-To D/s subtext that haunts the movie and gives a lot of fun stuff to play with. It’s also a film that – if we’re analysing Daniel along feminine-coded fairytale lines recontextualises his role in this universe.

The Fairytale goes topsy-turvy. Through the looking glass. Enter Big Bad Wolf stage right. Karate is a metaphor for Daniel’s bisexual awakening. 

“Oh, when will an attractive man touch me in ways that aren’t about hurting me?” he asks after two movies of being hurt by boys with rippling muscles. “Why do men continue to notice me only to hit me? Do you think wearing red is making me too noticeable? Anyway, Mr Silver looked really good in his gi today.” 

Daniel’s diary must be a trip.

[kae-karo]

1, 2 and 7 for the writing ask game? :3

oooo YAY TY and hi hello dear !!! for context (x)

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

for genshin:

short fic - i think that i'm learning to hope (oh no) (x) - kaeluc fluff and light angst as they come back together (i do love writing klk working past their past)

long fic - Kaeya and the Huge Bread (x) - chaeya author au, lighthearted and fun (and almost complete!) au longfics my beloved 🙏🙏

for bnha:

short fic - i don't bite (but i heard you might) (x) - bktdbk werewolf/vampire au with some banter and smut

long fic - tbh i have a few but they're older! still good but maybe not as indicative of my writing style or future fics as my short fics are

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

OKAY well i use canon divergence liberally in the sense of like...a fic is set in the canon universe but obviously i am taking many liberties with whatever story i'm telling, so that's pretty in line with my usual writing style (when i write canon universe fic!)

getting together is ABSOLUTELY my favorite relationship dynamic, i think i've actually probably undertagged it on some fics where it applies (i do forget sometimes lmao)

i'm actually shocked by the amount of established relationship fics? not that i dislike established relationships but it's really pretty rare of my brain to come up with a story that doesn't involve the getting-together aspect cause that's my fave piece of stories usually

angst/light angst combined being almost at the top and smut/eventual smut having a sizeable number as well sounds about right lmaoooo tho tbh fluff being that high up there surprises me a little although i think i used to use that tag more liberally than i do now lmao

internal conflict my beloved !!!!! tbh i think almost every fic i have written should have that tag but again, i forget to tag sometimes lmaooo or sometimes i'll tag it as light angst/angst instead of internal conflict (i swear i know how tags work i'm just Forgetful when it comes to how i do things)

happy ending used to be a staple of my fics in the sense that i'd tag it on most every fic that also had angst cause i just Didn't Write stuff with unhappy or ambiguous endings til like halfway through my dabihawks career, but i'm surprised that it doesn't make an appearance more often than that lmao

ngl i am a little surprised pining/mutual pining hasn't made the cut, but that might have more to do with my sporadic tagging practices than anything lmao

overall though? yeah that's pretty well summarized LMAO

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

oh boy slkdjfjklsdf i mean i do adore the worldbuilding in most any of my longfics but i think i'd say i'm the most proud of my king of disaster series (x) worldbuilding, but other very honorable mentions go to the to love (and be loved in return) tale (x) which tbh has a lot more in the background than i ever really got on paper (don't hold me to this but there might be more some day) and fated to be doomed together (x) cause i had a lot of fun transposing kaeluc's story onto a modern fantasy au

[send me writing asks from this list!]

[seelestia]

'ELLO MATE HOW ARE YOU I AM BACK-

they've disbanded me from the shadow realm!! thankfully it seems like they resolved the issue faster this time yayyyy

ohhh i see! i am biased to the jp version bc i am familiar with the va but i've been getting used to his en va too! i haven't listened to his korean va actually, maybe i should do that 👀

for zhongli... all of his va has their own charms i can't choose 😭 i love the en version va (but dear lord he grunts a lot like seriously grandpa you ok do you need to rest lol) but again, i am biased to his jp va bcs i am super familiar with maeno... i had a phase where i listened to jp drama cds in the past and he's one of my most favorite va hahah

itto was so good to me... i pulled for him with my brother in our parents' house and i screamed when i got him (cause i wasn't expecting him at all), and my brother yelled along with me, and my parents were like "WHAT HAPPENED" lmao it was chaos-

i borrowed my friends' luck and they did a total of 10 pulls for me on cyno banner.... good news: 1) i got candace, 2) i got a 5 star. bad news: it's qiqi lmao ah well at least i have guaranteed now!!

LOL it's ok i can always bow or stand on the lower ground so you can pat my head (cause i do like my headpats <3) hskdjsjdj i can only be savage in writing tho. i'm too timid to be savage when speaking ;x

all the headpats for lin~ i am excited for his voicelines too! i love that he'll help us spam ult hakdjs yes more meteors yessss *evil raccoon laughter*

RIN JIE, YOU'RE BACKKK — ahem, what i mean to say is that i've been faring quite well, as per usual! it pleases me greatly that you've returned, dearest cousin. i assume your journey has been rewarding? did it help in loosening the burden on your mind as you expected? i hope it was, lest the days i had spent missing your presence would all be for naught then.

finally, the results from our anxious wait bear its fruits. i was honestly getting concerned, especially after what happened previous times before. it serves me great joy to see you around again, truly. hm, i suppose saying "yay" would be a better way to express myself? hehe, yay!

breaking character for a sec to say that ayato's korean voice is luring me into a hole and i am absolutely and willingly following 🕳️🚶how ironic, i thought we've already established that he is, indeed, an elderly soul trapped in a young man's body? i'm starting to believe that his true age is manifesting itself through the cracking noises made by his bones. (/lh) i see, so you're similar to me; the familiarity just had that sense of preciousness that attaches itself to us~

that oni has always been clumsy and leaves trails of chaos wherever he goes... but who would've guessed he did an excellent job at coming home to you? ha, i can almost see him seething at me for saying that in the corner of my mind. i also assume your brother was mentally eating this snack called popcorn in his hands while everything went down? how amusing, hehe.

even with the power of borrowed luck, the child is still very fond of you. hm, i was looking forward to seeing a disheartened expression on your face but you seem to be looking at the bright side instead, what a letdown. aha, i was jesting, of course. i also happen to experience the same event as you did; i happened to meet a certain forest watcher from sumeru instead of the well-known general mahamatra, but i have no complaints. the both of us now have guaranteed luck for the next banner that comes around, wonderful! although for me, i don't have a specific character i'm keeping my eyes on since it seems like the yashiro commissioner's return seems very distant in the future. but perhaps, one will catch my eyes soon enough. nahida, perhaps? maybe, even that spirited fatui harbinger with the ginger hair.

i can see why you compare yourself to madam kujou sara... if i may be so bold, i'd say you're akin to a puddle of tender goo hidden inside a cold exterior? it's quite entertaining to see you let loose so easily around mr. zhongli. love is an interesting factor that stirs one's soul, indeed.

(and ty for the headpats, lin is very flustered by them <3 actually, speaking of voicelines, it reminds me of the in-game script/template for voicelines that you did! 👀 and yesss, ult spam is satisfying, especially in domains 🤌)

[historyman101]

Fena Pirate Princess Episode 12 Review and Final Thoughts

Of all the things I expected in this anime, an Evangelion twist with a dash of Eureka 7: Pocketful of Rainbows was not one of the them. 

Once again, I have to apologize for my late review, as my work situation is just not getting any better. No joke of a lie, when I came back from work yesterday, I was too tired to even put on the television and just collapsed in my bed to sleep for about 16 hours. Yeah. But, we’re here now, and it’s time to finally dissect the finale of this anime.

Sigh...what can I really say at this point? If there is one thing the show has been consistent, it’s in surprises, although that’s not really to the show’s credit. As I was watching the mess unfold, I kept saying to myself, “I’m watching Evangelion, and Fena is now Shinji.” That soon morphed into “Fena is now PFOR!Eureka.” At least Fena can speak full sentences and wasn’t reduced to a babblilng moeblob like Eureka.

Cody (and “Franz”) reveals the truth about Eden: every generation of her family has to make the choice of either destroying the world (because I guess God is too lazy to bring about the apocalypse) or allow the world to slowly die over time. If the world is destroyed, it will be reborn with a select few deemed pure and good enough to take control. Frankly, it’s not much of a choice, and I would have loved to see Fena just straight up refuse to play that game. But it’s obvious the Fena that I initially came to watch died about 3-4 episodes in, so she obviously makes her choice, resigned to the fate the world has given her.

How do you go from a strong premiere with a likeable main character and a simple premise about pirates to what amounts to Human Instrumentality for the final episode?! There was no foreshadowing of any of these events at all, and it only came across as major insult to the audience. Needless to say, I felt pretty fucking cheated.

Fena decides to leave the world be for the sake of her friends and family, but that comes at a cost: her memories and her whole identity. She even has a long speech about how thankful she is to have people by her side and having good times with them (which we never really saw, by the way), and we finally get some emotion from Yukimaru as he watches Fena slip away from him. At least they admitted their love for each other, so....yay?

Yukimaru wakes up on a beach and finds a now black-haired Fena (which just looks weird to me, by the way) and they reunite with the rest of the Seven Samurai, with treasure in tow. The legendary sword is found, is handed over to Kei (making Shitan’s warnings about him completely pointless), and now the entire crew go on a quest to restore Fena’s memories.

Everyone gets what they want with no sacrifices or consequences made whatsoever. 

Hey, at least my French gothic pirate girl survived, along with two other of the Rumble Rose crew. 

Adieu, mon cher. You deserved to be in a better anime.

Folks, what can I really say? We went from what looked to be a high-seas, swashbuckling adventure and got a meandering discussion about resetting the world with hackneyed nods to the Old Testament. I came into this expecting One Piece, and instead I got Evangelion. I wanted to see a girl escape a life in which she had no agency or independence and become an actual pirate princess. Instead, I watched a girl get manipulated every step of the way on her own fucking journey and only was able to make a choice at the tail end, and it only worked out because her love interest wasn’t a massive cock (cough, Abel, cough). 

Do I hate the show? That’s...hard to answer. It’s kind of in the middle for me, which is a really sad way to end this little series of mine. I’d rather this end on a high high or even a low low, but instead of feeling anything, I just turned off my television, sat down, and started writing this review. 

To call it all bad wouldn’t be a fair assessment, though. The art and animation was consistently top-notch (most of the time), the music was always right on point, and the opening song was always a banger to listen to. Maybe that’s where all the time and effort went. But the story just does not hold itself together after the first few episodes, especially when it stopped being an action/adventure story so early in its run. The sentiment is not something I’m alone in sharing, either; looking on Anime News Network and other anime discussion forums, I found more and more viewers dropping off because they just weren’t feeling it like they did in the first 3-4 episodes. Some even wondered if this stopped being about pirates entirely, and I have to agree that it really did.

I can give some praise for the story being creative in tossing in disparate elements (the connection to Joan of Arc, El Dorado, and Biblical themes with Eden). But due to the lack of effort of actually tying it all together, combined with Fena’s virtually nonexistent role in trying to uncover the mystery, I just can’t commit to my applause.

The best thing Fena Pirate Princess had going for it is what it started with. The first 3 or 4 episodes were arguably the closest this anime ever got to living up to the hype created by the first teaser released more than a year ago. The battle between ninjas and pirates, the nascent romance between Fena and Yukimaru, Fena’s desire to break free of her social constraints, and the goal of finding Eden to honor her father had so much promise for a better show.

Unfortunately, we don’t live in a world of hypotheticals and “could-have-beens.” We live in the now, and right now, Fena Pirate Princess is just a massive pile of wasted potential. I can’t say I’ll be watching the second season, assuming we even get one.

In the world of Crunchyroll originals, it is certainly not the worst. Ex-ARM exists, after all. But it did no favors either for CR or for Adult Swim’s brand.

Can’t win ‘em all, I guess.