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moonchildridden · 2 years ago

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Love In The Air Episode 12: Weather Forecast and the Winds Of Change

It’s been a week since the episode aired, I’m still not over it, my sleep schedule is still fucked up, my emotions are still all over the place and I’m fresh off from a flu that left me feeling like a zombie for the entire week, and because of that I hope you guys don’t expect this to make actual sense because I’m just going by what I think the weather forecast meant considering what happened during the episode.

So, get ready because here comes Moonchild with another weather forecast breakdown post, that is late because it was supposed to have been finished two days ago, so you guys can appreciate how thoughtful the production team is with these things.

Anyways, the episode 12′s weather forecast was so interconnected with the name of the episode that when I actually discovered that, it was just *chief’s kiss*. I feel like a broken record at this point because I keep saying how clever is the usage of the weather forecast to drop clues about the tone of the episode and how it shows the development stage of the relationship between PrapaiSky, which considering the impact that what happened on the episode left on PrapaiSky, I dare to say that things were bound to get shaken and things were bound to change.

The title of this post is not an accident.

Let’s start off by talking about the weather forecast, before laying down the connection it has with the name of the episode. The weather forecast mentions that a monsoon would cause weather changes across the country and, again, because English is not my first language and I barely remember my elementary school science classes, I had to search exactly what a monsoon was, and that search wielded back pretty interesting results.

A monsoon could be defined as:

1 - Traditionally a seasonal reversing wind accompanied by corresponding changes in precipitation, now used to describe seasonal changes in atmospheric circulation and precipitation;

2 - The rainy phase of a seasonally changing pattern, although technically there is also a dry phase. The term is also sometimes used to describe locally heavy but short-term rains;

3 - Seasonal change in the direction of the prevailing, or strongest, winds of a region;

4 - Weather phenomenon linked more to a wind shift rather than precipitation. In fact, the name "monsoon" is derived from the Arabic word "mausim" which means "season" or "wind-shift".

5 - Weather phenomenon caused by a change in the direction of the wind that happens when the seasons change.

The definitions may seem a bit repetitive, but I brought all of those to show that, although some people define monsoon differently, they all share one thing in common, that is the fact that a monsoon represents a shift or change between seasons, and it is related to the movement of the wind. Trying to explain this the best way I can to make sure we are all on the same page, a monsoon only happens when the wind shifts its direction, meaning that there are things that make the wind change its natural course of direction and that, in turn, causes the monsoon.

Are we clear about this? I hope so.

Now, I wanna do something different and say that this episode can be divided in stages (or changes) that when analyzed in sequence, can be attributed the things that would eventually cause the monsoon to happen:

1. The season changing patterns: Sky showing concern for Prapai, them going shopping together, their “love confession” on the room they had sex for the first time;

The episode started with Prapai on Sky’s room, helping him in another project, and the moment Pai hurts himself with the x-act, Sky runs to him, visibly worried and starts attending Pai’s wound, while Pai is smiling and feeling happy that Sky is slowly starting to show how important he is for him and that the nonchalant attitude Sky has is merely a front to hide his real feelings. This scene alone shows how much comfortable Sky became in asking Pai for help, comfortable in being in his presence and to let Pai be more involved in his life, also that Sky is starting to take Pai’s words of assurance more seriously and Pai is honoring the things he say and show to Sky.

Both of them are starting to create a path where both of them can walk together, taking their relationship further step by step.

After that, PrapaiSky basically behave like a couple, with Sky allowing Pai to touch him in public (Pai’s hand on Sky’s waist while they are on the mall), not outright “dismissing” his flirting attempts, taking Pai to eat his favorite food, stuff like that. On Prapai’s side, we had him take Sky to the room where they had sex for the first time and, while in the room where all the unforgettable action happened, he exposes how much Sky had been ingrained in his mind, how much deeper his feeling for Sky had become in the past weeks and his desire to stay by Sky’s side as long as his life allowed him to, situation that prompted Sky to tentatively expose on his own way exactly what he wanted from Prapai (the “I want you to kiss me” and “I want you to like me” were sentences that carried a longevity desire, not only something for that moment that they were having) while accepting Pai’s confession in the process, and opening space for them to make their relationship official.

While this was a big change, none of this was responsible for our literary monsoon to exist, meaning that these were not the things that caused the wind to shift its direction. This is because a monsoon happens when there is a shift in the wind direction and this shift happens because the temperature of the land and the temperature of the water are different as seasons change, meaning that there needs to be a big difference between two forces to cause the change, and the scene in Pai’s room was more of a convergence of feelings that than a collision between two opposing actions

2. The changes on the wind direction: the party, Sky “breaking up” with Prapai, Prapai going to Sky’s room;

In Chinese, the word “sad” is “shang xin”, whose roots are from the word “Human” plus “Li” that means “force” and the word “xin” that means “heart”. When these two are combined, it’s like two people using force against each other’s heart, which means “sad”. This precious knowledge was taken from I Told Sunset About You’s episode 2 but I decided to bring it here to use as an example of how the all thing about two forces opposing to each other can be so impactful to the point of causing big changes.

The change that actually starts causing effects is when Sky begins ghosting Prapai, making up excuses not to see him, ignoring his calls and only sending messages when it is to say that they cannot meet because he was busy. Considering that this behavior was not normal on Sky, and sensing that something was wrong, Pai then goes after Sky, just to find out that he hasn’t been in his room for the past days and without other alternative, he simply goes back and tries to think on his next move.

(A fun fact that I wanna share here is that monsoons were once considered as a large-scale sea breeze and, if there is one thing that the man in the photos ISN’T is a sea breeze. This man right here was a brewing thunderstorm.)

The opposition of forces between them (the difference of temperature involved in a monsoon) is shown in great detail during the phone call where Sky breaks up with Pai, and how Pai reacted to it. Using the land and the water as analogies to Prapai and Sky, Sky as the land (calling back to the name of episode 10, “Could You Be the Sky That Becomes My Destination?” and also because the sky is something that remains in the same place) is the cold temperature, or at least tries to embody a cold front, by being as heartless he could with Prapai, saying that everything that happened between them was just a game for him, that he was tired of pretending to be a pitiful boy and that it was for Pai to stop calling him because it was annoying.

Prapai as the water (more like because between them, he’s the one associated with a moving weather phenomenon) is the embodiment of a hot temperature, because he was the one expressing his real feelings, not angry enough to be said that he was fuming with rage but heated enough to be very noticeable, telling Sky that he had been worried about him for the past two weeks, that his patience also had a limit, how confused he was about all of that when they had made their relationship official when they were in his room and refusing to believe in Sky’s words, saying to himself that Sky was not that kind of person, that the boy he loves was not that kind of person, and also refusing to give up.

This opposition, this difference of temperature between the land and the water was the beginning on the creation of the monsoon.

3. The monsoon: the diary scene

Remember when I said that Sky was the land, Prapai was the water, and the “breakup” scene was the opposition between them? Well, now we turn back to the weather forecast and analyze the second part of it, because until now we only talked about the monsoon itself and not the effects that the monsoon would cause: changes across the country. What the “country” is in this situation, you may ask? Well, is their relationship.

And this is where the name of the episode, “when the sky surrenders to the wind”, comes into play.

When I talked about the weather forecast in my post about the parallels between the episode 8 and episode 10, I said that the name of the episode sets the tone of the events of the episode and the weather forecast serves as a complement of that, giving us a full view of the events we are going to see being transpired during the episode. In this case, is no different but this episode we cannot take the name at face value but understand what exactly the word “surrender” here means.

When you search for the meaning of the word “surrender”, various results appear, such as:

1 – to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand; (“yield” implies concession or compliance or submission to force)

2 – to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another;

3 – the action of yielding one’s person or giving up the possession of something especially into the power of another;

4 – to agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, etc., because you know that you will not win or succeed;

5 – to give the control or use of (something) to someone else.

I like to bring multiple definitions because it can give you guys an idea of how a certain situation can make you view a word in a different way that you would in a different situation. Usually, when you surrender to someone, it is because the other person exerted so much pressure and force upon you that the only way our you found was to give up and accept whatever they wanted you to do or give whatever they wanted from you, it implies compliance, giving yourself completely, without reservation, without barriers. The diary scene can be interpreted as Pai using his influence/power (him being in possession of Sky’s diary and reading what was written there out loud) over Sky but we need to understand that the ultimate goal of Pai was not a love confession, was an explanation of why Sky was acting like that, if everything was ok and what could he do to make things better.

While the diary was the answer to most of his questions, he still needed to listen to Sky talk, express his feelings and thoughts, so that they could communicate with each other and fix whatever issue they had between them.

I want you guys to imagine this scenario: the person you love, someone you just made your relationship official with, someone you’ve spent the last month or so knowing better, having new experiences with, suddenly starts ghosting you, giving you excuses as to why you guys won’t be able to meet up, doesn’t answer your calls, is not in their room so you have not idea where to find them, makes you worried about them, so when you decide to use an unknown number to call them and they finally answer the phone, you have to hear them say that everything that happened between you two was just a pretend from their part, that everything they said to you was a lie, and that they were bored of you, so because of that you should just stop calling them because it was annoying.

You don’t believe them (“dammit, I don’t fucking believe it”), of course, after all you know they are not like that (“Sky’s not that kind of person. The boy I love’s not that kind of person”), so you decide to go search for answers and the only place you are almost 100% certain that you’ll find the answers is their room, the place where basically all the important moments of your relationship happened (except for the officialization of said relationship). You also know that they won’t be there, after all they’ve been MIA for two weeks, so you use the key you had but never had any reason to use because they would always be there to open the door for you, you get in and you start searching for anything that could help you understand what the hell was happening.

And so, you find a notebook. You’ve seen them writing there a few times, hiding hurriedly every time you walked into the room, so you go for it and open, hoping to see anything that could help you. You start reading, each sentence making you realize that yes, you were right in not believing in the words they said to you earlier that day, but things were more complicated than you realized. The person you love is in pain, for so long, hiding their real feelings, their thoughts, their desires, their fears, and you didn’t see any of it, because they were so used to mask those things that it ended up going past you as well. The things you managed to see, how they always ask for help with their eyes, the nightmares, the hesitation, it was because they allowed you to see, they trusted you, the lowered their guard next to you, and only because of that you saw that; and now, you had access to everything they thought about, everything they wanted from you, everything they were afraid you would do, and none of that had come directly from them.

You had to force your way into their space to know that. You had to use your power to have access to that information. And now you needed to find them and confront them.

Until the moment Sky got into his room, found out Pai was there and Pai started reading his diary, both of them were still opposite forces from each other, because both of them wanted different things in that room: Pai went there looking for answers, Sky went there to get his things and leave the room for good because there were too many memories of them in there and he needed to get away from it. None of them expected to see the other to be there, none of them were ready to really confront the other but only one of them had the power to make actual changes that night: Prapai, the monsoon.

People need to understand that Pai reading what was written in the diary out loud was a way of confronting Sky with the words he wrote and did not say with the things he said on the phone, both instances where Pai was not present. Pai was also giving voice, turning those words real, making Sky face them head on, instead of just keep them hidden from view. And when he made all of those questions, if the person that wrote that was the same that enjoyed putting a player like him in his place, if when Sky was writing in that notebook he was also acting, that he knew Pai would find the key and enter the room to read it, if the notebook was full of lies too, Pai was expecting an answer from Sky because those accusations were empty, a taunting tactic to make Sky realize that Pai knew who Sky was, knew that he wasn’t that manipulative and knew that everything he just read was true, in contrast to the words he said on the phone; in that moment, Pai was literally the personification of Sky’s inner turmoil, inner struggle and fear.

It was no coincidence that the scene took place in Sky’s room. Sky’s room is the only place where Sky feels safe enough to just be himself, to live his life the way he wants, even if for just a few hours before having to put up a front and go to the real world. That room was like a box, where all the facets from Sky were kept and having Pai there, when he was not supposed to be, being aware of what Sky was keeping locked from him and giving voice to them was like forcing Sky to face everything that was happening at once, outside of his control. Pai confessing his love first (“it’s unfair for you to say it first, right?”) also wasn’t a coincidence, because what Sky needed the most in that moment was not give a leap of faith hoping that Pai could be there to catch him, but to fully jump knowing that Pai would be there to catch him and hold his hand; that’s why Pai started by saying that he didn’t like Sky anymore, before saying that he loved Sky, because Sky had been wary of the idea of Pai liking him, but hearing that Pai loved him, even after reading everything written on that notebook, seeing that Pai had gone there, looking for him, was willing to fight for him, to see beyond his bullshit, was the last hit into the walls that were separating both of them, the walls that wouldn’t allow Sky to say all of the things he wrote on the note book out loud.

Pai put himself in a vulnerable situation, saying that he loved Sky first, because he needed to send the message that it was ok for Sky to be vulnerable with him, that it was ok for Sky to feel the way he did, because Pai also felt the same way.

When the sky surrenders to the wind – I love you, P’Pai

When the sky surrenders to the wind – I love you, I love you, I love you so much

When the sky surrenders to the wind – I love you, I love you so much. Please don’t leave me. Stay with me. Don’t go away

The “surrender” in Sky’s case was him realizing that Prapai was there to stay and wouldn’t go anywhere. The “surrender” was Sky realizing that he was allowed to express his feelings without fearing that Pai would use them against him. The “surrender” was Sky willingly and freely giving to Pai the last source of control he had in that relationship, that was the knowledge of his feelings. The “surrender” was Sky agreeing to stop fighting his feelings, hiding his feelings, resisting the force and impact of his feelings, because he knew that he would not win or succeed in doing that for much longer, not when Pai was waving his love, their love, in front of them.

Their relationship changed a lot through the episode, from them acting like a couple, to them being a couple, then breaking up and them getting back together. Each one of those changes are significant for their story because it was showing how much Pai and Sky, two people that weren’t really kin in finding love, were starting to build something together, giving each other a reason to really dive into those feelings and cherish them the best they could, but the most important change was the one that happened in that room, that night, when Pai gave Sky reasons to stop his resistance, to believe in him, in them, to take that final step, to let himself love, and Sky, just bursting out in tears, without being able to hold it any longer, surrendered himself to Pai.

This episode was emotionally intense. It was intense because it forced both of them to make decisions based on their perception of how things were going, forced them to clash against each other, it put them in different stances and create a heavy environment between them. We saw how Sky deals with his trauma, this time in the realm of relationship, we saw how Pai is someone that may look a bit shallow to some people but he has a good instinct and is strong headed enough to stand by what he believes, and also that he’s willing to fight for the people he love, even when those people try to push him away the worst way possible.

Both of them needed this monsoon, this clashing, this confrontation, to happen, so they could start over on the right foot and be on the same page with each other. Pain brought them closer, made them stronger, made them see each other better, with new understanding. It’s not going to be easy, nothing good in life is easy, but when you put your heart into the things you want and you do, the universe works in your favor, even when all hope seem lost.

After all, fortune do favors the bold, and nothing screams “bold” more than a cheeky little hot wind god fighting for his sky.

#lita #lita prapaisky #loveintheair #love in the air #love in the air episode 12 #lita meta #prapaisky #prapai x sky #skyprapai #sky x prapai #unofficial prapaisky support group #sky protection squad

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yatsugareboyf · 3 years ago

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birthdays with them

dazai x reader, ranpo x reader.

fluff. warning: none i think

the back of book: celebrating your birthdays with dazai and ranpo (separately)

note: happy birthday @os8mu ! (idk if it's the 28th for u rn but its the 28th for me so wooo) ily!

- dazai osamu

it wasn't that late when you and dazai went to bed, but it does take you a while before you go deep in sleep, so you immediately felt his lanky arms slowly making their way around your waist and his hair pressing softly against your nape.

"guess what day it is?" you hear his quiet, teasing voice making you chuckle in response.

"i'm pretty sure it's still night, sweetheart."

"it's your birthday!" he tightens his grip on your waist, ignoring your sarcastic remark, "it's 12 AM, so technically it's your birthday."

"yes and for my birthday, i want to sleep until 2 PM." he whines playfully as you snuggle your back into his chest, but not making an effort to pull away.

"you're just gonna sleep for half of your birthday? i won't allow it! we have to spend the whole day celebrating, from 12 AM right now to 11:59 PM later."

giggling quietly, you place your hand above his own on your waist, running your thumb across his knuckles. this is not out of the ordinary for dazai to do, since he does this every time your anniversary rolls around and any other special event you can think of.

"it's your special day and i want to you enjoy it for every second." he says with such conviction that you're convinced he's gonna drag you somewhere at 12 AM for a "birthday surprise".

you turn around to face him, eyes still barely open from being woken up from a light sleep, seeing his blurry sillouhette.

"ill enjoy my entire day even if it meant laying around with you."

he groans dramatically in response, "my belladonna is still ever so charming even if it's her birthday, not mine. you wound me, my love."

you giggle for a umpteenth time this night, choosing to close your heavy eyes in favor of slowly wrapping your arms around his neck.

"let's make a deal. i get to sleep in until 10 AM, then we get to do whatever you have planned."

"7 AM."

"what? who has plans at 7 AM?"

"me, i do. we do, birthday girl. 7 AM."

"can't it wait til like ... 9 AM?"

he whines again, "y/n, please? it'll be worth it i promise."

you pretend to think about it, although you and him both know that you can never say no to him, even if it meant waking up at ungodly hours just to see his surprise.

"fine. 7 AM. now let's go back to sleep."

your boyfriend lets out a quiet victory cheer, wiggling you in his arms. though it wasn't rare for dazai to be "over the top" on gifts and surprises on special occasions, he struggles a lot with what to get you and what you might want as a surprise. he probably asked around to assemble this early morning surprise (and you're pretty sure that there will be more as the day progresses), and the very thought of him asking for help when he seems like he's got everything all figured out makes you feel proud.

dazai presses a soft, loving kiss on your lips, smiling against them, "happy birthday, belladonna."

- edogawa ranpo

"come on, come on, come on, y/n! you're so slow!" your very lovely boyfriend pulls on your arm, speedwalking towards the agency door.

if he was trying to be subtle, he definitely failed earlier on today. from the moment you woke up, he started fussing about "getting to work on time" when he never wakes up before you, to the moment you've almost reached the agency office.

you still admire his efforts, anyway.

"ranpo, slow down, we're here!" he stops immediately once you mention your arrival. he then fixes his attire then looks at you.

"close your eyes! wait, that makes it obvious, doesn't it? don't close your eyes then, just walk in like normal." the fact that he's letting you in first is already a sign, but him confusing himself makes it all the more adorable, you can't help but press a quick kiss on his cheek before pushing the agency door open.

unsurprisingly, the rest of the agency has set up the office for your birthday, all of them saying "happy birthday y/n!" the moment you opened the door. ranpo comes in after, jumping around you yelling "yay! happy birthday" making you laugh.

you thank the agency members for their greetings and thanked them for the time they spent setting it up, "thank you so much, everyone, really."

"hey, where's my thank you? i planned this after all!" exclaims your pouty boyfriend, holding a party blower which he got from thin air. you giggle in response.

"i did say everyone, didn't i?"

"mine has to be special! i set this all up for you!"

"well, he's not wrong," kunikida interrupts, checking his watch before looking back up at you, "he arranged this surprise weeks before, already knowing that today is a more quiet and less busy day than usual."

you smile at kunikida and look back at ranpo still pouting, waiting for his exclusive "thank you."

"that's right, isn't it? thank you, baby," you pat his head, "you did great, i like it a lot."

he beams with so much pride, smiling from ear to ear as he finally receives his praise, not to mention the growing redness on his cheeks. not wanting to take the attention away from you (but that doesn't mean he doesn't wants your attention), he blows his party blower and gets the party started.

"i call dibs on the cake!"

"that's my cake, ranpo!"

"i picked it out, so fifty-percent of it is mine!"

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pepethehobbit · 4 years ago

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It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)

3 times people wrongly assume Jens and Lucas are in a relationship and one time they’re right. (ao3)

“You have the present right?”, Lucas asks, probably for the third time in the 15 minute walk it took them from Jens's house to Robbe and Sander's new flat. Jens feels like he should be annoyed with the lack of trust Lucas seems to have in him, but he can't help the fond laugh that escapes his lips.

“Yes, Luc. I have the present. Would you chill? Why are you so nervous?” Jens places what he hopes is a comforting hand on Luc's shoulder and gives it a soft squeeze. It seems to work because the tension is visibly draining from Lucas' shoulders under Jens' touch. It makes Jens weirdly proud.

“It's the first time that I'm meeting all of your friends.” He must notice Jens' confused gaze and continues to explain before Jens can interrupt. “No, I mean like all of your friends. Of course I know the brothers and Sander, but I haven't met Jana yet, or Milan, or Luca or Zoe and Senne and I know that they are like super important to you as well.” Lucas feels like maybe he should say more but he stops there. Jens seems to read him perfectly anyway.

“And so what? You're afraid they won't like you?”

“No, I mean, yes kinda? To be honest? We've spent a lot of time together lately and I don't want them to think I'm holding you back from spending time with them.”

Jens tries to hold back an amused laugh but he is hugely unsuccessful in doing so and before Lucas can get the chance of being offended he tries his best to reassure him: “Leave it to you, Luc, that you actually think about stuff like that. Honestly, they will understand and they are going to love you and you them. You have nothing to worry about. Trust me.”

Lucas sighs but Jens can tell that he was at least a little bit successful in calming his nerves. It surprises him sometimes how easy it is for him to read him. Technically, they've known each other since elementary school. They were best friends, even before Robbe entered their little group but then Lucas moved back to the Netherlands when they were eleven and they lost contact. Once, out of curiosity, Jens looked for a Lucas van der Heijden on Instagram when he was sixteen, just to see if he would find him and maybe see what he was up to these days. When he actually found him a weird but not entirely uncomfortable feeling began to stir in his stomach as he hovered over the follow button. In the end he chickened out of pressing the button that would give them the chance to reconnect. The same feeling came back when he started uni three weeks ago and he felt someone tap on his shoulder when he was standing in front of the cafeteria with Robbe and the rest of the brothers.

Jens turned around, curious, and couldn't hold back his mouth from dropping in a really unflattering way, overcome with shock and surprise. “Lucas?”, Jens had asked, not really trusting his eyes. Lucas let out a small but pleased laugh and nodded his head excitedly in confirmation.

“What are you doing here?” Lucas continued to smile at him, but it turned into a teasing one when he looked around, surrounded by students and university buildings and answered: “Studying?”

Jens had rolled his eyes at that, he wanted to come back with something equally smart but then he remembered the others were still with him when he saw the confused faces of Moyo, Aaron and even Robbe, who didn't seem to recognize him right away. He introduced them to Lucas and from there on they basically spend every single moment together, either with the brothers or alone. They seemed to fall right back into that easy dynamic they had when they were still children but there was something else as well. At least for Jens, that easy dynamic came with an added need for closeness. Somehow, he really can't imagine a day where he wouldn't want to spend time with Lucas. It might have to do with the fact that when Lucas smiles at him with the bluest eyes he has ever seen Jens feels like something that has been missing from his life has been returned to him. Jens isn't ready to question this feeling yet, just like he is ignoring the way his stomach feels all fluttery and excited when Lucas attention seems to be solely on him.

Naturally, Robbe and Sander invited him to their housewarming party and Jens and Lucas have decided to go together. They even found a little present for them when they were out on a little tour of Antwerp, with Jens showing Lucas the city and all his favorite places. “Jens, I have lived here before, you know? I really don't need the tour,” Lucas has said when Jens suggested it. “Bullshit, Luc. That was ages ago. I need to show you all the good spots that we didn't know of back then.” Jens also took him to that little secluded corner by the Scheldt that he sometimes goes to when he wants to be alone. He hadn't even consciously thought about it in the moment, it just felt so utterly natural for him to show Lucas his hiding spot. Jens only really noticed that he did that when he was home again and replayed the events of the day in his head. He wondered only briefly about what that could mean and then he brushed that thought aside and just decided to text Lucas instead, asking when they should meet up at the skate park the next day.

Two weeks later, of which they had almost spend every day together, they're now on the steps of Sander's and Robbe's new flat, about to ring the door bell. Jens still has his hand on Lucas' shoulder, squeezes once again and asks: “Ready?”

Lucas nods and rings the doorbell that reads Driesen/IJzermans. They get buzzed in and on their short climb up to the first floor they could already hear the muffled sound of music and smell the smallest hint of smoke and alcohol. Jens and Lucas follow the sound and are greeted with an excited Milan, who opens the door at the end of the hall for them.

“Ahhh, Robbe! Sander!” Milan cries with a look inside the apartment, searching for the owners. He then turned around again, now face to face with Lucas and Jens who have arrived at the doorstep, standing next to each other with their shoulders and arms touching all the way. If Jens were to reach out with his fingers, they would brush against Lucas'. “Another couple to make me feel sufficiently single tonight, how nice. Robbe told me all about you two. Come in, come in, the lovebirds are probably in the living room somewhere.”

It's not exactly the word “couple” that makes him freeze on the spot and it's also not the thought about what Milan means when he says Robbe has told him about them. It's more the way he can feel Lucas tense immediately next to him and then not at all as he takes a step sideways to create some distance between them. Hurt flashes through him for a second, hurt at the thought that Lucas is ashamed at the thought of them together. But then he thinks about the fact that Lucas hasn't been out that long, a fact he told him when Jens took him to his hiding spot. Maybe, Jens thinks, it's an unconscious reaction Lucas makes whenever people assume the one thing about him he tried to hide and suppress for so long. Maybe he just isn't ready to be openly affectionate yet even if they are just friends.

Lucas and Jens haven't moved from their spot in the doorway and Milan eyes them curiously. “Are you coming or what?”

“We are not a couple. Lucas is just a friend,” Jens clarifies finally. He hopes he is sufficient enough in hiding his disappointment.

“Yeah, what exactly did Robbe tell you?” Lucas asks with a laugh, but it sounds forced.

Milan seems still really confused and skeptical. “He told me about how Jens doesn't have time for him right now, because he met you and now spends all his time with you. He said, and I quote 'They can't get enough of each other.' Are you sure you're not together?”

Jens has to will the blush away that threatened to spread at Milan's words. Although it definitely wasn't in the way Milan implies, they did spend almost every minute of every day together. He woke up with thoughts of Luc, texted him to ask if he has time, they hung out all day and at night in bed he would think about the day and how happy he is that Lucas is back in his life. But now, when he looks over at Lucas, he seems to be uncomfortable with what Robbe had said and Milan interpreted the wrong way.

Probably firmer than he really needs to, but hoping it makes Lucas more comfortable about the situation if he dispels all possibilities of them being together, he says: “Yes. We are pretty sure we are not together. Lucas and I were best friends when we were young. We just had a lot to catch up on these last few weeks.”

With that, Milan lets them off the hook and they finally step into the flat. He still doesn't seem to believe them, Jens knows Milan well enough to see that he is not convinced there is nothing between Luc and him. Jens doesn't try to think about it too much. He also tries to direct his thoughts away from the feeling of disappointment that Lucas is so uncomfortable at the thought of them together. The nagging feeling at the back of his throat tells him he knows why he feels that way but he also doesn't want to investigate it further, because his disappointment will only turn into hurt. He tries his best to stay oblivious to the storm inside his head that Milan's words and Lucas's reaction have caused. He isn't ready to admit it and the party is the best way to distract him.

They find Robbe and Sander, give them their present and Jens introduces Lucas to all his other friends. Jana eyes him curiously when he talks about Luc, but he stores that away with the rest of his thoughts concerning his childhood friend. The party is fun, they dance all night and drink even more and Jens nearly forgets all about the things he should probably start thinking about.

It's been a few weeks since the housewarming party and they have yet to talk about the whole “Milan thought we were together” fiasco, and remembering how uncomfortable Lucas seemed at the idea, Jens is scared to bring it up. So they ignore it. It's not like it's a big deal anyway. Milan thought they were together and they cleared that misunderstanding, setting everything straight. There is no reason for Jens to still think about it as much as he does, failing at ignoring it entirely. He tries his best though, tries to ignore the warm fuzzy feeling when he thinks of Lucas as his boyfriend, how proud he would feel if he could actually get to introduce him as such, how nervous and excited he still gets every time they hang out together, how he can't stop staring at his lips when Lucas doesn't notice, how he daydreams about covering those lips with his own, how he just wants to reach out and touch, how he drowns in the bluest eyes in his dreams nearly every night.

“So what do you think? We could combine it with a trip to Utrecht to see my friends?” Lucas asks, snapping Jens out of his sad attempt at ignoring thoughts about the boy right next to him.

“What?” Jens answers confused but Lucas only huffs a laugh. “Honestly, Jens. Where is your head at recently? Have you been listening to anything I have said in the last five minutes?”

Jens tries to think about what they have been talking about, sitting at the familiar spot at the Scheldt that has already kind of become their spot since Jens has shown him his hideout. He comes up with a blank, confused about himself that he got so lost in his head trying and failing not to think about Lucas that he can't even recall what the real one just said to him. He feels how Lucas scoots a bit closer to him on the blanket they share and from the corner of his eye he sees him raising his hand. Jens is still surprised however when that hand is placed gently on his temple, a smooth thumb easing away the crease between his eyebrows. Lucas' touch is soft and careful and Jens tries to ignore the feeling of wanting Lucas to touch him like this all the time, until he's not careful anymore but sure and secure in his movement, because Lucas has done this a million times before. But with so many things concerning him, Jens is widely unsuccessful.

“Hey, are you okay, Jens?” Lucas' voice is soft and low, flowing over with real concern and it's causing a small flutter in Jens' stomach.

“Sorry, I spaced out. I think I'm just tired,” Jens lies and he can see that Lucas doesn't really believe him. But before he can say anything Jens turns to him with a loud exhale and asks: “What were you talking about?” Lucas eyes him skeptically for a moment but something in his voice must have given Lucas reason to not push further.

“I was saying that Kes and Jayden have two spare tickets to see The 1975 in Amsterdam and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me? We could make a weekend trip out of it. Go to Utrecht on Friday, you could meet my friends and on Saturday we all take the train to Amsterdam and leave for Antwerp again on Sunday. What do you think?”

Lucas sounds so obviously excited about it and Jens is honored that he wants him to meet his friends and go to a concert of his favorite band with him. It's not really Jens' favorite band, but Lucas has shown him some songs that he really loves and listens to all the time now. So he replied with the only possible answer: “I would love to.”

The answering smile he gets from Lucas is tugging at his heartstrings and as he smiles back just as excited he really hopes that this boy is not going to break his heart.

When Jens gets home after it had started to rain, after they scrambled for their skateboards and the rest of their belongings and after they skated through the summer rain to their respective homes, out of breath from laughing, Jens changes into comfy and dry clothes and throws himself on his bed, exhausted from the emotional turmoil of the day.

So ignoring isn't really working out for him, Jens notices. But is there an alternative? He can't just go up to Lucas and tell him that he wants to be more than friends. Especially thinking about the tenseness of Lucas' shoulders when Milan referred to them as a couple. For now, he probably can't do much more than to accept that he has feelings for Lucas and hope that they will fade with time, because it doesn't look like Luc is going to return these feelings anytime soon. It's gonna be hard, but that's better than not having Lucas in his life at all.

It's only been a little over a month ago since they met again and Jens already can't imagine a life without him by his side, is confused for a second when he thinks back to outings with the brothers and realizes that Luc wasn't with them. Lucas just fitted himself so perfectly into Jens' life, made himself comfortable and decided to stay. Jens can only hope that Lucas keeps that decision when his feelings will eventually go and ruin everything.

+++

The queue to the venue where they're about to see The 1975 is pretty long. Next to him Lucas bemoans the fact that they will probably get really shit places to see them on stage. He wants to reach out, pull him in a hug or just comfort him somehow, but with Kes and Jayden there he feels weirdly watched. They, Kes especially, have already given Jens some knowing looks during their visit and Jens isn't sure how to interpret them, because sometimes they are accompanied by what Jens guesses are supposed to be meaningful looks towards Lucas. Who mostly ignores them or he just really doesn't seem to notice.

“Oh come on, stop whining. Whose fault was it that we missed the first train because someone couldn't decide on an outfit to wear?” Kes says with a gentle punch to Lucas's shoulder.

“It's my first time seeing them live, I wanna look good.” Lucas replies in a sulk.

“You do.” Jens says before he could even think about it, it just slipped out. The urge to compliment and reassure Lucas is like a reflex he can't control. From of the corner of his eye he can see Kes smile knowingly again but he is more focused on the way Luc's eyes snap up to his, as if searching for something, but then he shakes his head slightly and simply says: “Thanks.”

“Guys, come on! We're about to see our favorite band! Stop complaining. It's gonna be awesome, even if we won't actually see what's going on,” Jayden exclaims excitedly, pulls all three of them into a group hug and ruffles every mop of hair he can possibly reach. Lucas pushes him away with a fond smile, tries to set his hair right again and Jens finds himself thinking that his curls look just as good when they're a little bit messy. He wants to run his hand through them himself, just to see if Luc is still as pretty with even messier hair. Jens wonders if his hair is even more disheveled in the mornings, if he ever gets a chance of seeing it, of being the reason for it.

“Look, the queue is moving up,” Kes notices and they all move up a few meters until they have to stop again. This goes on for another half an hour, in which they talk and speculate which song they are going to open with and in which Jens tries really hard to get his thoughts about Lucas under control, because if he doesn't he is sure he will slip up again and say something that he can't take back.

They are finally at the entrance, Kes and Jayden are in front of them, already showing their ticket to one of the ticket inspectors. Lucas has just grabbed his hand to pull him along and when he shows his ticket to the inspector he hasn't let go of Jens yet. Both of them are kind of surprised when the inspector says to Lucas: “And your boyfriend's ticket?”

Lucas drops his hand immediately, as if burned and even flinches a good foot away from Jens. “He is not my boyfriend,” and his voice sounds like he is in panic and Jens tries really hard not to feel the hurt washing over him.

“Well, I still need your ticket,” the inspector says calmly and turns his gaze towards Jens. While handing the ticket over he chances a look at Lucas and it looks like he would rather do anything else than to meet Jens' gaze.

They walk inside in an awkward tension after the security guy cleared them. Jens hates it, things have never been that weird between them. He hates having to second guess his every move, he just wants to get back to the beginning, where everything felt natural with Lucas and he wasn't aware of his feelings. Because being oblivious hurt way less than this. Being aware means he can see the tension in Lucas shoulders and that weird sort of forced smile he now gives Kes and Jayden who wait for them near the entrance. Being aware means that he he sees how glad Lucas seems to be that they are here to distract from the situation so Luc can avoid talking about it. Jayden immediately ropes him into a conversation about a pretty girl he saw. Jens knows that Lucas couldn't care less about his friend's weird attempt at flirting, at least under normal circumstances. Because right now he seems very eager to support Jayden instead of giving him one of his usual sarcastic and teasing comments.

If Jens was feeling less for him he probably would've been able to just brush it off with a joke and a bro like punch to his shoulder as soon as it happened. But he couldn't react fast enough because the first thing he felt was the sting of rejection when he heard Lucas's panicked voice. He tries his best now to be part of the conversation happening around him, to not focus on Lucas as much anymore, but instead to copy some of Kes' relaxed aura and stealing some of Jayden's excitement about the concert.

As soon as Lucas notices that Jens isn't going to approach the subject he seems more relaxed as well, seems to be able to meet Jens' gaze again and not duck his head like he is still embarrassed but seems genuinely happy that he is here with him. And when Luc's favorite band finally gets on stage after a mediocre supporting act he tugs at Jens' hand excitedly, lets out a happy mixture between a laugh and a squeal when they start with Chocolate and Jens thinks that if he wasn't aware of his feelings for him before, this moment would have done it. He is singing along loudly and off key and dancing and smiling so happy and carefree and Jens falls even more in love with him. When they play It's Not Living (If It's Not With You) Lucas turns to look at him and seems momentarily surprised when he finds Jens' eyes already on him. But then he just smiles in a way Jens has not seen directed at him before, turns his head back to the stage and continues singing along with that same smile on his face. Something like hope blossoms in Jens' chest and he wants to reach out and take Luc's hand in his. He doesn't. In the end he is just happy that even though the evening started with awkward tension between them, it still turned out to be one of the best nights he has ever had.

It's been nearly a week since the concert which is also the last time they have seen each other. That glimmer of hope that Jens developed that evening died down pretty quickly when Lucas turned down every offer of hanging out with him this last week. He said it's stuff he has to do for Uni and then there was apparently some drama with Kes and it all sounds like made up excuses to avoid Jens.

Despite his slight annoyance and hurt that Lucas can't just talk to him about what ever is bothering him he tries asking him one last time because he really could use his help tonight. It's Lotte's birthday tomorrow and he promised her a cake. Not one you could easily buy from a store, but one he makes from scratch, with his own hand. In hindsight, he really should've resisted Lotte's puppy dog eyes because Jens knows only one thing about baking which is that it's not just a simple thing of following the recipe to get something resembling a cake. What he does know though, with 100% certainty is that Lucas loves to bake.

To Lucas Hey Luc I know you're probably busy but tomorrow is Lotte's birthday and I promised her a cake. Could you come over? I'm freaking out about this and I don't know shit about baking.

To Jens' surprise he actually gets a reply only a few seconds later.

From Lucas Sure. You already have a cake in mind? We could make a funfetti. Lotte will love it and it's pretty easy. We could meet up at the supermarket at your corner for the ingredients?

To Lucas You are a lifesaver! See you in twenty?

From Lucas I'll be there.

+++

It was kind of nerve wrecking for Jens to spot Lucas skate up to him after a week of not seeing him, which has been the longest time without real contact since Lucas tapped him on the shoulder nearly two months ago. He feels like they had a moment at the concert but then Lucas has ignored him all week and now he doesn't know what to feel. It's a bit awkward at first because neither of them said anything except a quick “Hey” in greeting. Jens just kept looking at him, couldn't not when he hasn't seen him all week and Lucas has kind of just kept looking back. It made Jens' inside feel like jelly and he had to break away from his gaze before he could blurt out something that he couldn't take back.

It was easier once they were inside, both glad about a task to distract them from the tension, as mundane as it may be. Once they start actually shopping for the things they need, they fall back into their comfortable dynamic pretty quick, the tension giving way to easy familiarity. Lucas is teasing him about his inability to bake and Jens acts fake offended until Luc gives him an overly dramatic “You can be glad to have me”. Jens is barely able to hold back the answering, and way more serious sounding “I am”, doesn't want to risk slipping into awkward tension territory again. Lucas leads him through every aisle in the supermarket, making sure they don't forget anything and Jens thinks about a future where this is a regular occurrence: Lucas turning grocery shopping or other simple every day life things into something special by simply being there with him. He tries to stop these thoughts as soon as they enter his brain though, they will only hurt him more, because he knows it's not the same for Lucas anyway.

When they are at the cash register and have put everything on the conveyor belt Lucas suddenly goes wide eyes, turns to him, grabs his hand, squeezes once and says: “Shit, we forgot something for our cake. I'll go grab it real quick. Be back in a second.” With an apologetic smile to the cashier, he lets go of his hand and jogs back into the direction they came from. Kind of surprised from the suddenness of the action he stares after Lucas and then at his hand that still tingles in the places Lucas' fingers have brushed him. Shaking himself out of it he starts to pack away the things the cashier has already scanned and waits for Lucas' return.

The cashier notices him first though. “Oh, you're boyfriend's back,” she says, making Jens' head snap back up in surprise to find Lucas only a few meters away, halting in is fast steps, eyes going wide in shock before turning into something closed off Jens can't decipher. He definitely heard what the middle aged lady has said and when he is at Jens' side again he hears him repeat the words that have caused him the same hurt just a week ago: “He is not my boyfriend.” It's accompanied with an uncomfortable and forced fake laugh and Jens tries his best not to feel the disappointment because he has already expected this reaction, couldn't have expected something different because he really isn't his boyfriend. But the obvious discomfort in Lucas whole body language still hurts.

“Oh,” says the cashier with a confused expression. “I'm sorry, my bad. Looked liked you were.”

Jens should probably say something as well because this is getting awkward as hell and Lucas looks more and more uncomfortable. He decides not to comment on it though and just asks the cashier for the total after Lucas has already added the missing ingredient to the belt.

After paying and walking out of the store Lucas turns to him and says: “Well, that was awkward as fuck, right?” It's the first time he acknowledges one of those incidents and it's with another one of those forced fake laughs.

“Yeah, fucking weird,” Jens tries to mimic the laugh but it sounds off and sad even to himself. Luc punches his arm gently, an attempt at restoring the easiness between them and says with a fake chipper to his voice: “Come on, lets go home and bake that cake.”

Jens turns around and points to his bike that he came with and then looks pointedly at Luc's skateboard. “For old times sake?” Jens asks and hopes it works to further relieve the tension. This time Lucas' spreading grin is honest and he nods excitedly in agreement. So he gets on his bike and Luc on his skateboard, while holding on to Jens' shoulder and they ride off. It's something they've done all the time as kids, depending on who brought their bike. They would just ride around in the neighborhood or to the skate park, trying to go as fast as possible while one of them pulls the other along on the skateboard.

Once Jens reaches more speed he feels how Lucas clings more tightly onto his arm. He turns his head, following the sound of Luc's laughter and lets the happiness of this moment flow through him. When Lucas turns his head to look at Jens the laughter fades out but it's replaced with that damn smile again, the one from the concert and it makes Jens' heart skip a beat. But Jens doesn't have enough time to think about what this means if he wants to avoid an accident.

They arrive at Jens' home about five minutes later and head directly into the kitchen. Luckily, Lotte is at her friends house and his mum is still at work, so they have the house to themselves. The second they enter the kitchen Lucas is in full on The Great British Bake Off mode, tells Jens what to do, which appliances to get and to preheat the oven to 180°C. Jens can't help himself but to find it endearing. He continues to smile at Lucas in a way which is possibly way too soft until Luc turns around, raises his eyebrows expectantly and asks: “What is it?”

Jens' smile turns into mixture between bashful and amused. “Nothing,” he replies and before he can hold it back he adds: “You're cute when you're bossy.” With the way Lucas' cheek turn a pretty shade of pink and the way he can't fight the small smile that is tugging at his annoyed expression Jens can't even bring himself to regret it.

Although that changes when the next thing he sees is flour being thrown directly into his hair. “Oh no you didn't.”

The laugh Lucas lets out is happy and free but his tone is challenging when he replies with “Oh, I absolutely did.” He also raises his eyebrows as if to ask Jens what are you gonna do about it. Not backing down from a challenge and still holding eye contact with Lucas, he blindly reaches for the flour, gets a small handful and dumps it unceremoniously on Luc's hair as well.

Before Lucas can reach for the flour again Jens tries his best at stopping him from making even more of a mess of him. He grabs his wrists but Lucas is faster and Jens ends up with white powder all over his shirt and pants. From then on he doesn't really know what happens, they both reach for each other, grab at their arms and wrists and waists to try and get flour all over each other. The air is filled with their laughter and breathless exclamations of stop and the next thing Jens knows is that in an attempt to stop Lucas from throwing flour all down his back he acts before he thinks and steps right in front of Luc, basically trapping him against the counter.

He is still a little breathless when he meets Lucas' gaze but for an entirely different reason now. They are closer than he anticipated, their noses nearly brushing and Jens can see the little specks of flour that have caught on Luc's eyelashes. He feels how his eyes drop down to Luc's lips, just for a millisecond and he should step back, knows that he should but he can't will his feet to move even just an inch. Lucas doesn't seem to be in rush to get out of the situation either and it makes Jens feel brave. He raises his hand and lets his thumb swipe gently over Luc's eyebrow down to his nose, then his cheekbone and lastly his chin under the pretense to get rid of some flour on his face. He can hear Lucas' breath hitch and it makes his pulse beat even faster than it already does.

But then Lucas is pushing him away, not exactly firm but not exactly soft either. He clears his throat, shakes out his hair and says: “We should start baking. Good thing we bought two packs of flour, right?” He turns his back towards Jens but he can still hear the shakiness in his voice. Jens knows Lucas well enough to know that it probably would be a bad idea to push now but he can't just ignore it. He needs to know what is holding him back.

“Luc? Why do you seem so uncomfortable when people assume we're together?” He sees Lucas' body freeze at the question and he hates that he can't see his expression as his back is still turned towards him.

After a couple of second Lucas seems to try it with denial. “I don't know what you mean.” Jens wants to get annoyed but showing it would probably make Lucas close up even more. But that doesn't mean that Jens is ready to give up. He goes to stand next to Lucas but he resists the urge to reach out and touch.

“Well, the first time with Milan I literally felt you tense up and for the first hour of the party you were really weird and tensed up every time I reached out for you. The second and the third time your voice was literally filled with panic at the idea of people thinking we're together. I don't mean to sound so judging but what is so bad about the thought of being with me that you can't just laugh it off? Is it because I'm a boy? I mean -”

Lucas suddenly turns around and his expression reads a mixture of anger and annoyance. “Oh come on, Jens. I'm gay. Of course it's not because you're a boy.”

Jens can't help himself to keep the annoyance from his own response: “Well, what is it then? If it's not that, then it's me, right?” He can see the anger draining away from Lucas' face and being replaced with a conflicted kind of expression. “Yes,” he finally answers quietly and Jens feels himself take a step back as if he had been physically punched in the gut. That's what it feels like at least. It's his turn to turn his back on Lucas, not ready for him to see how much this actually hurts him. But then he feels a hesitant hand on his arm and a soft voice saying: “But not in the way you think right now.”

It fills him with enough hope to turn around again and he finds Lucas stepping even closer than before. He takes a deep breath and looks intently and earnestly in Jens' eyes. “It's not you that made me uncomfortable or the thought about being your boyfriend. Believe me, that is as far away from the truth as possible. It was more the thought that other people, strangers even, could so clearly see what I was trying to hide since the moment I met you again. I was trying so hard not to fall for you but you make it so goddamn easy, Jens! And I hated the thought that I was so obvious about it. It made me uncomfortable that you would figure out how I feel about you, especially because I thought there would be no way that you could ever feel the same.”

Jens heart is beating out of his chest and he falls even more towards Lucas during his confession, as if pulled in by a magnet. He raises his hand and places it on Luc's neck, beginning to play with the curls that he can reach. “But I do,” is all that he is able to reply.

“I'm beginning to understand that.” Lucas says with a smile and Jens' eyes flutter shut as soon as he feels Luc's nose brush against his own. He tilts his head and holds his breath when he feels the first brush of their lips. Lucas makes this small little contented noise and Jens positively melts against his chest, parting his lips to invite him in. Where Lucas' fingers softly dance up Jens' arm and into his hair a trail of goosebumps is left behind, despite the relative warmth in the kitchen, heated up by the summer sun shining through the window. He feels Luc's other arm wrap around his waist to pull him even closer and Jens can't help the smile that's breaking out on his face, too giddy with the fact that he is actually kissing Lucas.

He decides that feeling Lucas' responding smile against his lips is nearly as overwhelming as actually kissing him. Lucas pulls back a little bit and Jens knows that his smile can be described as dopey but that's no reason for Lucas to break out laughing. “Why are you laughing?” Jens asks amused and with a happy smile that he can't seem to shake.

Lucas stops laughing enough to answer but when he meets Jens' eyes he starts again. The sound makes Jens' heart skip a beat and he thinks that he would give anything to see Luc as happy as he is right now. He is also weirdly proud of being the reason for it.

Instead of explaining what it is that is so funny to him right now, Lucas simply reaches up towards Jens' hair and gives it a good ruffle. A big puff of white powder rains down around Jens and suddenly he is reminded of the situation which got them into this in the first place. He looks down at himself, down at Lucas, looks at the entire mess they made of the kitchen, meets Luc's gaze and they double over laughing at the same time.

Once they calmed down enough Jens reaches for Lucas again and it already feels so right and familiar how he fits against him. He presses his lips against Luc's in what was planned as only a little peck but Lucas immediately tightens his hold on him and begins to softly moves his lips. Jens pours everything he hasn't yet said into the kiss and with the way Lucas keeps kissing him he thinks that he understands what Jens wants to say.

“Ahem,” makes a voice behind them and Lucas starts to pull away from Jens' lips to see who was trying to get their attention. It's Robbe's birthday and they're currently on the balcony leading of the kitchen when they turn around and see Milan standing opposite of them with an amused expression.

“Please tell me that you sorted some shit out, because that's definitely not how friends act.”

Lucas and Jens turn towards each other and can't help the smile that is spreading across both of their faces. They turn back to Milan, whose expression has gone soft and knowing, and Lucas responds with: “Yeah, we got our shit together. I'm pretty sure that he is my boyfriend now.”

“Great, now there really is another couple to make me feel more single,” Milan says, but his face betrays his disappointed tone. He positively beams at them and when he turns around to leave again he makes a waving motion and says: “As you were.”

Jens turns to Lucas with a teasing smile and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. Lucas rolls his eyes as if annoyed but he still leans in and against Jens' lips he whispers: “You're lucky I love you.”

It hasn't been that long but Jens can't imagine a time in their future where the words won't make his heart beat faster, can't imagine ever getting used to the feeling of experiencing Lucas' love. Jens leans in and before he closes he distance between their lips for good he whispers back: “I love you, too.”

#vds #van der stoffels #jens stoffels #lucas van der heijden #my writing #I found out way too late that the song is about the singers drug addiction but then it was too late to change ot #*it #sooo please ignore that hahah #it was meant to be romantic I guess?#well anyway #I hope you enjoy

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yourfavewriteress · 4 years ago

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check you out (part 2) | connor mcdavid

part 1

Teaser: “Really wanted to get to know me, huh?”

You weren’t desperate. If a guy said he was going to text you, you waited until he did so. You didn’t count down the minutes, or jump whenever you got a notification to see if it was him. You just weren’t that type of gal. Usually.

It started with an email from your school, an hour after you got home from giving Connor your number in the parking lot. Even though your text messages and emails had clearly different ringtones, your shoulders still slumped when you saw that it wasn’t him. You thought you could tell when someone gave you longer looks, you thought you could tell when someone was interested in you. At least, a little.

But, you still knew nothing about Connor besides his healthy eating habits and his somewhat shy but also strong demeanor. Maybe he’s just not actually into you, you finally sighed around 9:30 pm, hours after you had gotten home. You hated the way you were feeling and you hated how one guy you barely knew just decided to open up shop in your brain with clearly no intention to deliver.

To take your mind off of things, you took a long shower and prepared yourself for bed. While your music played, the song paused, alerting you of a notification. Coaching yourself, you ignored it. If it was him, he could wait a few minutes. If, it was him.

Exactly two minutes later, the music paused again with the same tone, confirming that you had a text waiting for you. You were basically done at that point, doesn’t hurt to end a shower early. As if someone was watching your excitement over, technically speaking, a work crush, you kept your composure as you dried yourself off and moisturized your skin. Once you were completely done with your rushed night routine, you took a deep breath and finally looked at your phone.

Unknown Number: Hey, it’s Connor. Did you make it home okay?

You bit your lip, adding the number to your contacts before you began typing a response, I did, thanks! How about you?

Connor: I’m not going to lie, I did trip on my way up to my place and nearly lost everything I bought at the store today

You: Seems like you’re just destined for destruction, huh? First the store’s machine, now your own groceries

Connor couldn’t help but laugh at that. He knew you were never going to let that go, and if the tables were turned, he’d probably do the same. She’s funny, he thought. He was already interested in you and the fact that you even gave him your number meant that he had a chance. And, no matter what, he was going to try.

Connor: I accept no responsibility for that evil machine your store owns. But it did get us to meet so I’m not too salty about it

You didn’t know if you should laugh or swoon over his message, so you stared at it. Is this what flirting is? you asked yourself.

You: Hey, I spend hours with that machine everyday, keep your swear words to yourself

You: But, now I’m wondering if you broke the machine on purpose that day…

Connor: I didn’t in the moment, but if I got the chance to go back, I’d definitely make sure it happened again

Connor: Do you have any free time this weekend?

Holy shit, you thought to yourself. The movie that you planned on watching that night had clearly been forgotten as you had found your way in bed, under the covers with the only light coming from your phone screen. This is really happening.

You: Besides working Saturday morning, I’m pretty free. Why?

Connor: Do you want to have lunch on Sunday? I know this place near where I live that has the best menu I’ve ever seen

You smiled then, taking a second to scream into your pillow before responding.

You: That sounds amazing, I would love to

Making sure to be clear that you accepted, you also wanted to keep things light.

You: But, I have seen what you buy at the store so is the menu filled with only kale and string beans? I just need to know if I should eat before or not

Connor: It hurts that you think I would really take you somewhere like that

You: I just had to make sure :)

Connor: So, can I pick you up around 4 on Sunday?

You: I can actually meet you there, if that’s okay. I don’t want you to go out of you way to get me

Connor: It’s not a problem but we can meet there too

Connor: 4 works for you, though?

You: Yeah, it’s perfect

His heart clenched at that, and he was finally able to let out the breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Not only did he get your number, he got a date with you, too. He was proud of himself for finally putting in the effort with someone and something other than his hockey career.

You didn’t stop texting there, continuing to go back and forth with him for a few more hours. It felt nice, to talk to someone new after a while. Connor was still trying to figure you and your story out, but you were doing the same with him.

Since it hadn’t come up in conversation, Connor was almost certain that you didn’t recognize him from the league. Hell, he didn’t even know if you watched any sports. And, while this made it easier for him to talk to you, it also made it harder for him to come up with a way to tell you about his life that wouldn’t scare you off or make you look at him differently. He’s had too many experiences letting in the wrong people that were only after him for attention.

He could just wait until he fully trusted you to bring it up, but he had a feeling that would make you question him even more. He could tell you on your upcoming date, but that might end things before they even had a chance to get started. He didn’t know what was going to happen, but he knew he wanted to find out.

He could feel the excitement in his body as the week went by and it only intensified as it got closer to the day you were finally going out. He wasn’t nervous at first, especially since you had kept in touch everyday since he last saw you. But, when he arrived at the diner he set for you two to meet up, he couldn’t help the nervous bounce of his leg as he waited for your arrival.

He got there early, because he wanted to make sure he was there when you showed up, especially since he was the one who extended the invitation. He also was just really excited to get to talk to you in person, without someone interrupting you because they needed help in self-checkout. He was finally going to be able to talk to you, and learn about you and your life.

You, however, were a mess. When you agreed, you had forgotten how long it had been since a guy had asked you out, and even longer since you’d been on an actual date with someone that you barely even knew. You didn’t know what to wear, or how to fix your hair, or how early you should be, or even how late. You were a mess.

Since it was still chilly out, you settled on best fitting black pants, a nice casual shirt, and your favorite boots. It was simple, but then again, you were meeting at a diner in the middle of the day. You prayed you weren’t underdressed as you finished your hair and the minimal amount of make-up that you were still working on perfecting, and if you were, you couldn’t risk being overly late anyway.

You were a few minutes late walking into the diner but you spotted Connor almost immediately, seated in a booth in the far corner. Taking a deep breath, you slowly made your way to him.

“Hey,” You said, softly. Connor looked up, standing at the same time.

“Hi, I’m glad you make it,” He smiled. He pulled you in for a hug and after the initial shock, you returned it, breathing in his scent. “You look amazing.”

Happy that he couldn’t see your blush, you gave him a gentle squeeze, “Thank you, you too.”

After you separated, Connor stepped back, motioning for you to sit down. You thanked him again as you sat, taking off your coat and placing it next to you.

“I hope this place is cool with you, I usually like staying in lowkey spots,” He said as he took his place across from you.

“Usually?” You raised your eyebrows at him. “You take all your dates here?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” He blushed, shaking his head. “I’m just not a fan of being around a ton of people and noise.”

“This place is nice,” You looked around. “I’ve never been here before so I’m kinda jealous that I didn’t know about it.”

He smiled, “Good.”

You shifted under his eyes, picking up the menu. “So, what made you finally ask for my number?”

It was a risky question to ask but after your past experiences with interested customers, you knew you had to. Although Connor had been respectful every time you saw him, that didn’t ease your fear of everything ending badly. Especially since it was the first time you actually gave your number out and didn’t regret it immediately after.

“Besides the obvious fact that you’re really beautiful,” He smiled as he looked down at his menu. “Every time we talked, you made me laugh. Which most people would say is hard to do.”

“So, I’m beautiful and funny,” You nodded, smiling slightly. “Thank you.”

He laughed, “What made you give me your number?”

You narrowed your eyes at him firing your question back at you but he just smiled again. Thinking for a second, you looked back at the menu.

“You laughed at my jokes,” You said as you glanced up at him briefly. He was still watching you as you continued, “And, you’re very easy on the eyes, I guess.”

“Fair enough,” He responded.

“Plus, you asked.” He rolled his eyes at that but you could see the smile on his lips as he took a sip of his water.

You thought about it for a second, wondering how honest you should be. “Actually, do you want my true answer?”

You felt that since you had been texting back and forth with him for a few days, the least you could do was tell him the truth. He nodded, raising his eyebrows.

“I was already hoping you would ask.”

You bit your lip nervously, but he grinned and you felt his knee nudge yours under the table. The gesture calmed your nerves a little, but your senses were all heightened by the contact.

“How do you like working at the store?” He asked after a few moments.

“It’s alright,” You shrugged. “Not the ideal and I definitely don’t plan on doing it forever but it pays.”

“Do you have plans?” He asked, and you noticed that his arms were now folded on the table over his menu. His full attention was on you, and you could feel your skin tingling.

“I’m still in school, so I’m kind of in the process of figuring that out, especially since my mind changes every month,” You responded. “What about you? What are you doing for work right now?”

“I play hockey.”

“Professional?” He nodded. “Like, the NHL?” He nodded again. “Seriously?” Again. “Huh.”

“What?” He laughed.

“You’re a professional hockey player,” You said, slowly. “Did you see where I work?”

He shrugged, “What about it?”

“Nothing,” You shrugged as well. “Nevermind.”

“I asked you out because I really wanted to get to know you. Outside of the supermarket, and without all the peering eyes.”

You smiled, “Really wanted to get to know me, huh?”

He laughed, taking a sip of his water. He still held your eye as he did so and you narrowed yours at his next clear attempt to avoid answering. “What are you studying?”

“Sociology,” You answered, laughing after.

“You must be pretty smart, then,” He replied. “Soc is pretty complicated from what I remember.”

You let out a laugh, shaking your head. “Everyone thinks so, but I wouldn’t say I’m especially smart or anything. It’s not that bad.”

“The really smart people usually don’t,” He smirked, just as the waitress walked up to your table.

“Can I start you guys with any drinks or appetizers?”

“I’m good with this water, thanks,” Connor said.

“Iced tea, please,” You smiled.

“Okay, perfect. And, are you guys ready to order or do you need another second?” You were both ready and gave her your orders. With your menus in hand, the waitress disappeared to the back.

“No alcohol on the first date?” You teased, leaning on the table.

He laughed, “Yeah, I’m watching my figure actually.”

You rolled your eyes, laughing with him.

“Where are you from?” He asked.

“Originally from Boston, moved here to Edmonton for school,” You said.

“So, you like the cold?”

“I do, actually,” You smiled. “What about you?”

You were nervous, that was a given. You had forgotten what holding eye contact with a guy could actually do to you, especially when you had no one to buffer. You worried about having something in your teeth or god forbid your nose, or suddenly making an embarrassing noise. But, when Connor basically slapped his drink off the table while talking, resulting in the loudest sound of glass hitting the floor, you couldn’t help the also loud and real laugh that came out of you at his shocked expression.

“I’m really sorry,” Connor apologized to the waitress as she appeared to sweep up the few broken pieces of glass. You tried to control your laughter as Connor’s face was now bright red.

“Don’t worry, it happens more than you think,” She laughed, standing back up straight. “I’ll be back with another water for you, no biggie.”

“Thank you,” Connor replied. “I’m sorry, again.”

Once she was gone, Connor looked back at you and you tried to hide your smile by taking a sip of your drink.

“I can’t believe you just laughed at me.”

“I’m sorry, I probably should have held it in,” You responded. “Bad first date etiquette.”

He smiled, shaking his head, “Evil.”

“You have to admit, it was funny,” You teased.

“I probably looked like a deer in headlights,” He breathed. “That was definitely the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me, especially on a fucking date.”

“Well, lucky for you, I won’t use it against you.”

The date was better than you expected it to be. Not because you both were overtly flirty or anything, but because you actually talked. You explained why you chose to move to Edmonton from Boston, what your studies meant to you, and what you hoped you could accomplish. Connor spoke about growing up in hockey, and struggling to be the player he is today. Even though the conversation was deep at times, it didn’t feel heavy or suffocating. The conversation flowed so smoothly that you forgot you were on a date at times.

While stepping out of the diner almost three hours later, you knew that whatever happened, you hoped to at least have Connor as a friend. Once you could get over the huge crush you had on him, you knew you both got along and could talk about anything. You hoped you wouldn’t have to get over your crush, though.

“I had a really nice time with you,” Connor said as you stepped back into the windy air in the parking lot.

“Me too, thank you for inviting me,” You responded, hugging your arms tighter to your body.

“Anytime,” You both reached your car, and you watched as Connor appeared to be contemplating something in his head, eyes glues to the ground.

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

He laughed at the question, his shoulders relaxing slightly, “I’m trying to find the right words to use to ask you out again but everything I’m saying in my head sounds lame.”

You knew you were blushing once again, shaking your head at him as you locked eyes. “I’ll go out with you again, but I’m picking the location this time.”

“I can live with that,” He smiled. “I’ll text you when I get home.”

“Okay,” You nodded, finally unlocking your car. “See you later.”

“Bye, Y/N.” He waited until you were safely in your car before stepping back towards his.

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hoe-doroki · 4 years ago

Text

Illiterate

pairing: Shouto x American fem!Reader (pre-relationship)

wc: 2.1K

genre: comfort, fluff

summary: You did well in the midterms despite missing the first month and a half of school, not to mention all of the previous year at U.A. But being unable to read Japanese makes you feel so stupid. And who comes into the common room after midnight just as you’re about to cry? The boy who hasn’t spoken to you in three weeks. That’ll make you feel better.

edit: I no longer write x reader but here’s my old masterlist - mobile | desktop

Textbook out on your left. Notebook out on your right. Laptop in front. Phone put to the side. You were taking up a whole olive green couch and coffee table in the common room with your materials. But it didn’t much matter, because everyone else had gone to sleep—or if not to sleep, then to their rooms—hours earlier. It was well past midnight on a Monday and, despite the destructive habits that some of the members of class 2-A had, most tried to get a good night’s sleep. It was vital for rebuilding the muscles everyone abused in class every day, not to mention everything else Recovery Girl had mentioned in the mandatory “Health and Wellness” seminar they’d all had to take. You’d missed it, since it had been in the first week of classes, but you had still received the handy dandy pamphlet in your welcome folder a month earlier.

But you were willing to sacrifice a little sleep in order to catch up to your classmates. You might have had an extra two years of high school over them, based on the U.S.’s school system, since you’d just finished junior year when you’d transferred. Technically you hadn’t finished out the year but you’d done all the standardized testing and gotten your final grades. But still, U.A. was much more rigorous than your old school and, in some areas, you had big gaps. You would only be able to fake it in class for so long like that.

You startled when the hallway light went on behind you. There wasn’t a curfew by which you had to be in your room, but you were still half expecting to find Iida behind you, chastising you for being up so late. But it wasn’t Iida—it was Todoroki.

You turned back to your work, hoping that he wouldn’t say anything if you minded your business and didn’t speak to him. Based on your few experiences with the boy so far, it seemed he could be relied on to be quiet. And your strategy seemed to work; you heard him padding in his slippers over to the kitchen and running some water.

Your focus was now broken, though. You looked at the pages you had out in front of you and all the characters started to blur in your head. It felt like the studying you’d just done had left you and that all the hours since dinner had been pointless. The frustration began to bloom again and you felt your face growing hot with it. You were so behind. So not meant to go to school in Japan.

“You should go back to your room.”

Your body stiffened at the quiet voice behind you. If you looked down, you could see Todoroki’s gray slippers. You hadn’t heard him grow so close.

“If I do, I’ll fall asleep.”

“That’s what I mean,” Todoroki said. “You should be in bed.”

“Shouldn’t you be in bed too then?” you shot back.

“I woke up and decided to make some tea. The water’s boiling now.”

It was late enough that Todoroki had already gone to sleep and woken up in the middle of the night. And you had nothing to show for your time but a few haphazard notes and a failing short term memory.

“I just have to stay up a little longer,” you whisper, you throat constricting a little around the simple words.

Todoroki took another step closer and looked at your setup. It was obvious that you were doing work, not messing around or staying up just for the heck of it. Todoroki was one of the brightest kids in the class, in addition to one of the most powerful. Hopefully he would see your efforts and just leave you be.

“Sleep is necessary for processing information by transferring things from one section of the brain to another and strengthening connections,” he said instead. “You’ll learn more if you sleep.”

“I know that, and I will, but just…not yet.”

“Y/N, you placed seventh on the midterm. That’s impressive for a new student.”

You shook your head, wishing he hadn’t said that as hot tears started to wet your lashes. “They let me take the test in English,” you rasped, the words coming out completely pitchless. “I’ve been here over a month and I’m still almost entirely illiterate.”

Everything in front of you was in kanji. You had a stack of grammar books that were meant for toddlers that you wished weren’t in Todoroki’s line of sight. They were only half filled out as it was, since you didn’t even know all the answers for those, much less how to read what everyone else had seen on the midterm.

“Oh,” Todoroki intoned in that simple way of his. “You didn’t know Japanese before you came here?”

You shook your head. “Coming here was pretty sudden, so I only had a couple months to try and learn before I transferred. And so I focused more on spoken language just so that I wouldn’t be a complete idiot. Even though I still sound so American.”

“It’s not so bad,” Todoroki offered.

You give a chuckled weakly. “The first thing you said to me was that my Japanese was bad. Terrible. Actually, you didn’t even say it to me, you said it…around me.”

“Oh, I guess I did,” he said. If you looked at him, you probably could have seen the memory appearing on his face. “Well, I’ve changed my mind. It’s not terrible.”

Even sugarcoating it that much must have been a reach for him, so you could appreciate the effort. You blinked the last of the tears away, grateful that none of them had actually fallen and that Todoroki hadn’t seemed to notice them. “I’m sure your water is boiling by now. You can go. I promise that I’ll go to sleep soon.”

If it had been Shinsou, or Yaoyorozu, who you were beginning to grow close to, or someone like Midoriya, they would have stayed. Maybe even closed your books for you and ushered you up to your room, telling you that you could start again tomorrow. But at your words, Todoroki’s slippers disappeared from view and he went back to the kitchen. It wasn’t especially surprising. He’d barely ever spoken to you, especially since you’d used your quirk on him the first time a few weeks back. And you could understand why. Nobody liked the effects of being hit by your quirk. Or losing a match in less than two minutes. So when just a minute later you were greeted with a cup of steaming tea in front of you, on one of the small spots of table between all your materials, you were forced to look up at him for the first time.

“Would you like to speak in English?” he asked, the words coming out with certainty and only a hint of a Japanese accent over a British one. And they nearly made you fall to pieces.

“Yes,” you breathed.

He sat down on the sofa kitty-corner to yours and you noticed that his mug, like yours, was only half full. You didn’t love tea—you’d never drunk it much in America, but it was ubiquitous here. Yaoyorozu was all but forcing you to acquire a taste for it. Still, the gesture moved you and you lifted up the too-hot cup, blowing on it as you let the light herbal scent waft over to you. Todoroki was holding his mug with his left hand and you wondered if it even felt hot to him.

“I apologize if I’ve been cold to you,” Todoroki said. “The truth is that it surprised me, how you’d used your quirk on me. And that you’d seen it as a weak point after only observing me for a couple weeks. I keep on thinking that my past is behind me, but then it never is. It’s why I’m awake right now.”

“No, I’m sorry,” you said quickly. “I felt really bad using my quirk on you like that. The look on your face—it felt like such an invasion to use sadness against you. I wouldn’t want to do that just to win.”

“Well,” Todoroki said, the ghost of a smile on his face, “you were playing a villain.”

You groaned. “Ugh, I hope I never have to again.”

“Unlikely,” Todoroki said. “All Might creates many exercises like that.”

Your tea was finally cool enough to sip without burning your tongue. The taste of herbal tea was strange, not particularly food or beverage-like to your brain, but you thought you could understand the comfort of it. The hot liquid felt nice on your throat and you realized that you hadn’t had any water for hours. You took another sip.

“You said before that your past is why you’re awake right now,” you started hesitantly. “Can I ask why that is?”

“Just a dream,” he said simply. A bad one if his grimace was anything to go by.

“I’m sorry,” you said, although you weren’t sure if you were sorry about the dream or asking about it. Probably a bit of both.

“No, I actually…” Todoroki looked at you and you were struck by how captivating his gaze was. His blue eye was piercing, one of the brightest you’d ever seen while his gray eye was dark, almost brown, and mysterious. “I wanted to know how you knew. That exercise was meant to show us how we’ve exposed our weak spots to someone new and it would be a missed opportunity for me not to ask you about it.”

“How I knew…that you were sad?” you asked.

He nodded once, eyes still stuck on yours.

“You just…your friends seem like really happy people,” you explained. “Uraraka, Midoriya, even Iida in his way. Or even when they’re not happy, they’re wearing their emotions on their sleeves. But you, even when you’re joining in with them, there’s usually a cloud over you. Like you’re hiding your emotions. And from there I guessed that that came from somewhere. Probably someplace difficult. And when I strategized with Aizawa-sensei and he agreed that it was worth a try.”

“I see.”

“Like now,” you said, looking at his face. “Do you feel anything about what I said? If so, you’re totally hiding it on your face. Blank eyes, relaxed mouth. And, you know, that’s fine, but if you’re doing that on the outside, then, for a teenage boy, I assume you’re doing it on the inside too.”

That brought some expression to his face. Twin creases between his eyebrows, making his relaxed mouth look more like a frown without moving it.

“But I don’t want you to worry about that or what I think about you,” you said quickly. “For my quirk, I have to be really good at intuiting emotions, especially since I so rarely get to practice with people. I have to be super observant and understand something about psychology. Most villains aren’t that sensitive.”

“But some are.”

“Yes, certainly some are,” you said. “But if you want to start working on whatever underlying things you have, you should be doing it because you want to. Not because you want to be a stronger hero but because you want to love yourself more.”

Todoroki gave a little huff that could have been a chuckle. “How American of you.”

“Hey!” Your exclamation is quiet. “You’re the one who offered to speak in English.”

“You seemed homesick,” he said with a shrug.

“I was,” you admitted. “I am.”

“Okay,” Todoroki said, standing up. You saw that his mug was empty while yours was still a quarter full and now tepid at best. He took it along with his own. “You’re going to sleep now and tomorrow you’re going to ask Yaoyorozu for tutoring. She’s excellent and the two of you seem to be getting along. Our class is full of all good, mostly helpful people. You should say something when you need help.”

You shut your laptop, the screen having gone black long ago and began dog-earing and closing your books. Before Todoroki went to the kitchen you grabbed his arm, only to release it a moment later when you remembered people weren’t quite so tactile in Japan as they were in America, Todoroki especially so. Still, you had his attention as he turned back to look at you. “The same to you. You should say something when you need help.”

Todoroki’s lips pursed together, not quite in a smile, not quite a frown, but in acknowledgment. He probably wasn’t fond of you turning your words back on him.

“I’ll…try.”

#bnha x reader #todoroki x read #shouto x reader #shouto todoroki x reader #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfic #mha fanfic #bnha insert #soft todoroki #soft shouto #soft shouto todoroki

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savrenim · 3 years ago

Note

hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

#my life #my writing #ifmlam

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ryqoshay · 3 years ago

Text

OTP Ask Meme (Impatient Edition) YohaRiko

Again, I know the point of these things is to wait for followers to Ask questions from the list, but reading though this one got me thinking too much. About all of my flagships. And I wanted to answer all of the questions. And not wait for a handful to maybe be asked.

Anyway, credit again goes to @lonelypond for this version coming across my dash. Reblog that version if you want to do this thing correctly.

Also, just because I’ve already answered these here, I’ve expanded on some for various reasons and left others short if I believe the reasons are obvious. So if you still want to do the whole interactive thing, you can still ask for clarification or whatever.

And finally, there will be spoilers ahead for Happy Life, and to a lesser degree the AU, both for scenes I’ve written and posted, as well as some that remain in my Notes and WIP Warehouse. I’ll try to remember to link to the chapters mentioned.

1. Who wakes up first?

Riko. Yohane is very much not a morning person, especially after a late night of streaming.

2. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Yohane. See above. However, if she doesn’t have time commitments for the day, Riko may occasionally want to stay in bed for some activities other than sleeping.

3. Who takes longer getting ready?

Either, though they are fond of getting ready together and helping one another, so in these cases, they’re done at the same time.

4. When they can’t sleep, what do they do?

Yohane has many rituals for inducing sleep involving all manner of meditation, incense, herbal tea, topical rubs, nightmare wards and more. Whether or not they work is up to debate, but Riko is comforted by the sentiment, as portrayed in Dream Warden. Yohane herself takes comfort from being near those she loves, particularly Riko, while she sleeps.

5. Who falls asleep while watching a movie?

Yohane, though it depends on the type of movie.

6. Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile?

More often Riko, though Yohane does enjoy watching a sleeping Riko from time to time.

7. Who comes up with the cheesy pick-up lines?

Yohane. 100% Yohane. And she is well aware of how cheesy they are. And she knows how much Riko loves them.

8. Who gets extremely competitive playing Mario Kart?

Yohane gets competitive over games in general.

9. Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling?

Yohane is more likely to do so, though Riko can be absentminded on occasion.

10. Who sets the other’s ringtone to something loud and obnoxious behind their back?

Yohane.

11. Who rearranges the bookshelf/DVD shelf in alphabetical order?

Both have their reasons for their particularness in displaying their shelving; Riko likes to be able to quickly locate her favorite doujin while Yohane is considerate of the background for her ritual streams.

12. Who does the hands-over-the-eyes “Guess Who” thing?

Yohane. With as many different attempts at different voices and accents as she can.

13. Who points out a dog when they see one?

Early on, both, though for different reasons; Yohane out of excitement and Riko out of fear. Later, Yohane retains her excitement while Riko becomes more lax in her reactions.

14. Who’s prone to road rage?

Yohane.

15. Who’s prone to wearing socks indoor (or to sleep)?

Either

16. Who reminds the other to put on sunscreen before going to the beach (or pool)?

Yohane knows she burns easily and is pretty good at remembering, though Riko is mindful that her girlfriend can be careless at times.

17. Who carries all the important documents while traveling?

Riko.

18. Who gets the window seat?

Probably Yohane. Likely accompanied by some statement about missing being able to fly under her own power.

19. Who puts their cold hands/feet on the other?

Yohane.

20. What do they argue about the most?

Early after moving in together, Yohane had a bad habit of bringing home stray pets, despite it being against the policy of the apartment complex, as depicted in Hibagon. These arguments subsided once the policy was changed, as depicted in Phobetor.

21. Who’s clumsier?

Yohane, though Riko certainly has her moments.

22. Who texts more often?

Yohane.

23. Who is better with kids?

Yohane is better at keeping kids entertained with her antics while Riko is better at tending to their care, be it feeding them, calming them down when they’re upset or applying first aid; Yohane is pretty good with first aid as well, having had far too much practice on herself.

24. Who’s the better cook?

Debatable. As I mentioned in the Notes for A Roost for Weary Wings, Yohane is capable of producing higher quality results, but also fails more spectacularly. Riko may lack the skills and confidence to produce highly extravagant meals, but she is far more consistent in producing edible food.

25. Who mistakes salt for sugar?

Riko. Despite what one may assume from my prior answer. Yohane will still eat it, not only because she has a strange sense of taste, but also because her beloved Riri made it for her and she will be damned before letting it go to waste.

26. Who puts the fork in the microwave?

Possibly Yohane.

27. Who cooks at 2 in the morning?

Yohane.

28. Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1 a.m.?

Definitely Yohane.

29. Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies?

Yohane. She’ll even bring her own spoon, as depicted in Valentine’s Taste Test.

30. Who likes doing the dishes?

Riko doesn’t mind it. Yohane dislikes it but is willing to balance the workload after Riko cooked.

31. Who has bigger cravings? What are they?

For food, especially exotic or exceptionally spicy food? Yohane. Although she does have a bit of a sweet tooth, as her favorites would imply. For enacting scenes from her favorite doujinshi with her girlfriend? Riko.

32. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

Both, though for slightly different reasons. Riko believes it is romantic to know certain things about one’s partner. Yohane believes it is the duty of a fallen angel to know such things about their little demons… or fellow angels?

33. How do they eat ice cream? What’s their favorite flavors?

Yohane will often eat too fast and give herself a headache. Her favorite flavors are those of her favorite foods, chocolate and strawberry. Riko eats slower, more often out of a sundae dish than a cone, in part because a dish is better for eating at her pace, but also because it’s easier for Yohane to “steal” a bite or two. She enjoys Yohane’s favorites, but is also fond of mint and vanilla.

34. Do they go on dates? What are they like?

Absolutely. Riko prefers going to museums or orchestra performances, though she has dragged Yohane to several doujin stores over the years. Yohane prefers higher energy environments like amusement parks, though she has dragged Riko to several gothic Lolita clothing stores and occult shops over the years. Both girls look forward to events like Comiket.

35. What do they smell when they smell Amortentia?

Riko smells the slightly sulfuric scent of boiling eggs her parents made often while she was growing up, the clean, salty air of Uchiura, and a spicy, sweet and earthy scent to which she cannot match a specific memory. Yohane smells sweet black lilies, the lingering smoke from a myriad of incense that always permeates occult shops, and a spicy, sweet and earthy scent to which she cannot match a specific memory.

The last scent for both is an idea I had while Googling random stuff for this question. It’s basically how one website describe the smell of Dragon’s Blood resin when burned as incense. I want to bring it up in a scene or two in both HL and HL(AU), though there will be a difference between the kinds found here on Earth and up in Heaven, which may end up as a minor connecting plot point.

I realize this leaves Riko without something that she knows is directly related to Yohane, but I was trying to avoid using incense too much, as it already had three entries between them. Also, it technically is related to Yohane, she just doesn’t realize it right away. I’m hoping whatever I write someday will make that connection for her. Not that she’ll ever smell Amortentia in HL, but…

36. Which one is the secret snuggler?

It’s no secret that Yohane loves her snuggles. Riko is quieter about her desires, but can be quite insistent, nonetheless.

37. Which one offers their jacket to the other when they complain they feel cold?

Riko. Yohane is far more vocal about her discomfort, especially when it comes to temperature.

38. Who reaches for the other one’s hand while driving?

Riko is more likely to do so, though Yohane might as well. That said, I don’t believe I have them owning a vehicle in HL, so this probably won’t come into play anytime soon in my works.

39. Who leaves little notes in the other one’s lunch?

Riko, as the more consistent cook of the pair, she is more likely to make their lunch bentos for the day. (Bonus: What does it say?) Casual reminders of her love for her Yocchan.

40. Who is the most affectionate?

Both are quite affectionate, though Yohane is far more likely to initiate, especially in public though even in private.

41. Who is the big spoon/little spoon?

Riko is most often the big spoon. Though Yohane might try to have one believe elsewise.

42. What is their favorite feature of their partner?

Riko loves Yohane’s smile when she is passionate about something, be it her streams or games or whatever. Yohane loves the way Riko’s fingers dance across the keyboard.

43. What is the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Yohane becomes increasingly aware of Riko’s behavior and attitude toward Chika and has to make a conscious effort to avoid holding anything against the idol group’s leader; she likes Chika as a friend, after all, and is thankful that she brought her into the group in the first place. Riko starts to include Yohane in her fantasies.

44. What are their nicknames for each other?

Yocchan and Riri

45. Who worries the most? Over what?

Riko is constantly concerned that Yohane’s abysmal luck will eventually cause her actual harm, as in more than just catching a cold or getting a scrape or small cut. Yohane also fears that her abysmal luck will adversely affect Riko.

46. Who initiates kisses?

Yohane all the time, in public and in private. Riko, in private.

47. Who says I love you first? How did it happen?

Yohane said it first in Revelations.

48. Who tells their friends/family about their relationship first?

That’s actually a good question. I haven’t decided yet for this ship. I mean I have plans for revealing that the blonde Mari knows, but as for the couple actually telling people… hrm… Off the top of my head, I’d be more likely to say Yohane.

49. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Both are quite capable of entertaining themselves without the other. Riko can play the piano and Yohane can play her games until their fingers cramp if they are not actively doing something together. And they have Phobetor and Prelude to pet and take on walks and play with. It’s not until bedtime that they become more aware of the other’s absence.

50. Who gets overwhelmed by small acts of kindness?

Depends. Yohane is more the emotional rollercoaster and could easily be overwhelmed by kindness from the girl for whom she held a one-sided crush for far too long. Riko is also likely to moved, though more through something that fits into some trope she loves in her doujin; good thing Yohane can be quite genre-savvy when she wants.

#YohaRiko #YoshiRiko #Happy Life

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i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend · 4 years ago

Text

Carnival of Hearts (Part 2/6) ~ Bucky x Reader College!AU

A/N: Hi lovelies! Hope you’re all doing well! So good news! I’m pretty sure I’m going to be able to do regular updates for this fic. The plan is for weekly updates on Fridays at 12 PM EST. I will let you know if I can’t do it though. For now enjoy!

This is my entry for @buckysknifecollection ‘s 3k Follower Challenge. Congrats on the milestone lovely! Go check out the blog. Personal fave is Hush (a must read if you’re into soft!Biker!Bucky)

Prompt: Our friends set us up on this carnival date but we’re both pining after someone else and this a bit awkward

Summary: When you’re set up on a carnival date with Bucky Barnes NOTHING turns out the way you expected.

Rating: T

Warnings: Language

Word count: 1916

Story Masterlist | Main Masterlist

After six outfit changes, you were finally satisfied with your appearance. The red wrap shirt was your favorite, your jeans hugged just right, and you were rocking your favorite white converse. The last touch was to clip in a white hair flower just behind your ear before declaring yourself ready.

Steve was on set up duty so he had already been at the fair grounds for hours and Natasha was meant to meet you there after her shift at the coffee shop, so you grabbed your backpack purse and headed out, cautiously optimistic for the day ahead. You paced back and forth a little ways away from the ticket booth as you waited for your friends and your date.

Your phone buzzed in your hand as you checked the time again.

Nat: Coffee shop got slammed last minute. Going to be a while. Sorry. Just go meet Bucky and Wanda.

“Wonderful,” you muttered.

You could go meet Bucky and Wanda if you had either of their numbers. You were about to text Nat and ask her to pass the info along when your phone buzzed twice. One from Steve and one from an unknown number. You opened the latter.

Unknown Number:Hi this is Bucky. Wanda is running late so she said for me to just meet you and Natasha.

You rolled your eyes, but snapped a quick selfie and responded.

Y/n: I'm by the ticket booth. Red shirt and a white flower in my hair. Just me though. Nat’s late too.

Bucky: Be right there!

He responded with a selfie of his own.

"Y/n?"

You turned at the shout of your name. Bucky shot you a shy smile and a small wave, wading through the crowd of people.

“Hey, it’s nice to meet you.” He stuck his hand out.

“Nice to meet you too, Bucky.”

“Sorry, I’m late. I was technically on time, but I was waiting for Wanda.”

“No problem at all.”

He had a kind smile and it eased the knot of tension in your stomach, though an awkward silence stretched between you. It broke when you both laughed.

“I’m sorry. I’ve never been on a blind date before,” you admitted, worrying your bottom lip with your teeth.

“That makes two of us. But,” he continued before the conversation could lapse again. “I have been to a lot of carnivals with friends in my time.”

You clung to the lifeline.

“Well that we have in common. Although-” You crossed your arms over your chest. “I did just meet you so I’m not sure we can be called friends yet.”

Bucky put both hands up to concede the point.

“Well let’s start with the carnival part and we’ll see the friendship comes naturally.”

“I can work with that.”

Bucky bought an armload of tickets and the two of you entered the fairgrounds. Happy screams from the roller coaster mixed with ride music, and you were practically vibrating with excitement.

You grabbed a map from the information booth, smiling at Hope who was manning it.

“Enjoy the carnival!”

“Thank you!”

You huddled out of the way of the hoards of people, carefully surveying the map.

“Now, what I have learned over the years, is that there are two types of people. Ones who plan their carnival route. And chaos entities who cause their friends to miss their favorite rides.”

You raised an eyebrow at him.

“I sense some bitterness there.”

Bucky chuckled and shrugged but didn’t elaborate.

“Well, I’m certainly not a chaos entity.”

“Excellent. So where should we start?”

“R.C.F.A.”

“Excuse me.”

“Roller coasters first always.”

“A girl after my own heart. Any rides that are a hard no?”

“Not a one,” you announced proudly. “But don’t let me eat before any spinny ones.”

“Noted. Okay, then.”

Bucky scanned the fairgrounds trying to track the flow of the crowd.

“It looks like the tilt-a-whirl has the shortest line.”

“Ooh and it’s right next to the two best coasters,” you pointed to the cluster of rides on the map.

“Then we’ll start there. And then we can follow the circuit back to the food area for lunch.”

“Sounds good. Let’s go!”

Unable to contain your excitement any longer you grabbed his hand and dragged a laughing Bucky through the crowds.

“So what happened to Nat?” he asked as you waited behind a group of middle schoolers.

"Stuck at work. Cafe got slammed last minute. Wanda?"

"She was getting a haircut and they were running an hour late.”

You poked your tongue into your cheek. Bucky voiced what you had been thinking.

“Do you smell a setup?"

You let out the laugh you’d been holding back. "Oh yeah. I mean technically both of those are real things that could happen, but…”

“Yeah, it seems a bit suspicious.”

“I should have known Nat would weasel out of her end of the bargain."

"Bargain?" Bucky asked.

You inhaled through your teeth and offered him an apologetic smile.

"It may have taken a bit of convincing to get me to go on this date."

“What were the terms of this deal?”

You counted them on your fingers.

“We would meet as a group. I had a guaranteed out at lunch time. And she wouldn’t set me up for the rest of the semester. It wasn’t anything against you. I promise,” you explained.

He waved off your concern.

“Trust me I took a similar deal. But you were smarter than I am. I should have gotten the no meddling clause in there.”

You exhaled a laugh, relieved you hadn’t offended him.

“Well now you know for next time.”

“True. Though based on how Wanda talked about you there won’t be a next time because you’re supposedly exactly what I need.”

"Nat gave me the same speech. Think they practiced?”

“Probably,” he snorted. “She says you're perfect for me. So my expectations are high just FYI.”

"That’s fair. Personally, mine are astronomical,” you replied in a haughty tone.

“I guess we’re both in for disappointment then.”

“Not so far at least,” you admitted with a sly smile that he returned as you were strapped into the tilt-a-whirl.

The line for your first roller coaster was longer than you anticipated, but Bucky kept you entertained. He questioned you on your taste in movies and TV shows which led to an in depth debate of the character arcs in Supernatural. In the next line you discussed Bucky’s favorite book which happened to hold a special place in your heart.

When you stopped for snacks -cotton candy for him and watermelon slush for you - you were comfortable enough to tease him.

“So, did you find Insta-stalking me last night helpful in preparing for this date?”

Bucky’s cheeks went red despite his best efforts to appear nonchalant.

“Pfft. I didn’t Insta-stalk you.”

“Oh, so it was a different JBBarnes317 who liked the picture of me moving into my dorm Freshman year.”

“I…” he hung his head, peeking at you through his long hair. “Okay so maybe I did. I tried really hard not to, but I was really nervous and I thought maybe if I knew something about you we could avoid a lot of awkward pauses. Sorry.”

You shook your head and patted his knee.

“Don’t be. I had been arguing with myself all night. And when I saw that you liked my photo I totally caved. It was honestly a relief. Though I’ve got to say that your profile picture on Facebook does not do you justice.”

“Well I only change my profile picture if it’s a leap year.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but nothing came out. You tilted your head with an incredulous laugh.

“I have nothing to say to that. Are you serious? If so, why?”

He snorted at your expression.

“No. I just haven’t spent more than like ten minutes on Facebook since I was seventeen. I don’t even know why I have it any more.”

“That’s fair.”

“Well, since I’ve been exposed. I’ve got to ask. How far did you row yourself in the moving cart?”

“About 500 feet before I hit a bump and nearly pole vaulted myself out of said cart.”

“That was the funniest video I have ever seen. And I’m kind of mad I never thought of it.”

“There’s always move out.”

“I don’t live on campus. So no yellow carts for me when I move out. Just lots and lots of boxes.”

“Bummer. You can always help me move out!” you concluded triumphantly.

“Let’s see how the rest of the date goes before I agree to that,” he laughed. “But maybe.”

You smiled at the implication before returning the conversation at hand.

“Are you in an apartment then?”

“Yeah. It’s a really nice two bedroom about ten minutes from campus.”

“I assume two bedroom means roommate?”

“Yes. Sam. He and I got randomly roomed together sophomore year, but it actually ended up being the best thing to ever happen. He’s my best friend. I can’t imagine living with anyone else. We thought we were going to have to get a third roommate, which would have been a bummer, but luckily we were able to find a place for just us.”

“That sounds ideal. I’m lucky because my scholarship pays for housing, but honestly I would kill to have a full kitchen again.”

“Or you could just ask nicely.” He smirked. “Do you like cooking?”

“No, I am a mediocre cook at best. But I love baking.”

Bucky’s eye glittered.

“Well then you’re definitely invited to use my kitchen.”

“Let me guess. Payment in baked goods?”

“It seems fair.”

“It does. Do you cook a lot.”

“I can manage. But Sam’s an amazing cook. I keep telling him he’s in the wrong career path.”

There was a hint of frustration in his tone.

“What’s he studying?”

“Business. He plans to open and manage restaurants. Says it’s the smarter path. Which like I get it. But man, the look he gets in his eye when he makes a good dish. He just lights up the whole room. I mean he usually does just by being there, but this. It’s pure joy. It makes you excited to try his food. Even if you hate the ingredients. I just don’t want him to lose that. It makes him special.”

“He sounds pretty amazing.”

“He definitely is,” Bucky sighed, before shaking himself slightly. “But he has his flaws. Like, he likes to run. Every morning.”

“I’ve got one like that too. Steve gets up at the crack of dawn every morning. He’s even in the running club.”

“Sam is too.”

“Really? Huh. I wonder if they know each other.”

“They must. There can’t be that many people who willing give up sleep to run.”

“I swear it’s an illness.”

“Agreed. But I do get fresh muffins out of the deal. Steve always brings me my favorite. This summer, we lived together and he’d wake me up after his shower and we’d eat on our little balcony before work and it was perfect.”

“Sam and I eat on the roof sometimes and he always brews the best cup of coffee. He even manages to time it so it’s at the perfect temperature when I get to the kitchen. He may have magic powers.”

“We’re really spoiled aren’t we?”

“I think we are the appropriate amount of spoiled.”

You both laughed as you tossed your trash and continued on your way.

A/n: I hope you enjoyed and I’ll see you next week (hopefully)

Tag lists are open (Please send an ask) I am removing all tags that don’t work after three failed attempts.

Carnival of Hearts

@deepmuffinspymaker @dee-vn

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@waywardpumpkin @sadanddeadsoul @captain-maaarvel @caylast @isaxhorror @run-your-cleverboy @ria132love @mbsgr @hereisanapplepie @pierrxt-uta @thejourneyneverendsx @stevieboyharrington @catsandbooksinafarawayplace @mywinterwolf @andreagf956 @jendz33

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Permanent Tag List

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#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #Carnival of Hearts #College!AU #College!Bucky Barnes #buckysknifecollectionchallenge #challenge fic

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radishaur · 4 years ago

Note

What about Zuko having a crush on the reader? Like it’s season 2, Uncle Iroh and Zuko open the Jasmine Dragon and reader is just a regular customer who comes in for the tea. Would Zuko deny his feelings or try to flirt or blush alot 🥺 thank you!

I absolutely love Season 2 Zuko so I’m super excited to write this! There’s just something about “Lee” that makes my heart melt. But then again, that’s just Zuko for you. Anyways, I hope this is what you were looking for!

- Zoe

•••

Jasmine Tea (Zuko x Reader)

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Part: 1/1

Summary: See Request

•••

Working in a tea shop was the last thing I wanted to be doing. Having to force a smile onto my face while serving tea to useless civilians who were likely going to complain about their orders was not the life I wanted. Uncle insisted that this was necessary in order for us to pay for the small apartment we had.

I had to admit that he was right, but that didn’t make me feel any better. I was used to living in the palace like I deserved, not having to slave away all day to barely pass by.

“Lee, there’s a customer at table 2. Why don’t you go take their order?” Uncle said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

He was looking at me with a mischievous smile. I rolled my eyes and went to table 2 as he asked. I grabbed the notepad and pen out of my apron before stopping at the table.

“Welcome to the Pao Family Tea Shop. What can I get for you today?” I asked, trying my best to not gauge my eyes out.

The person sitting at the table lifted their head to meet my gaze and I felt my heart flutter.

“What would you recommend? I’ve never come here before,” she admitted, a pleasant smile on her face.

I blinked in shock for a few seconds. The girl sitting in front of me was shockingly beautiful. Her (h/c) hair flowed freely around her face and her (e/c) eyes shone with the light of a million stars. I blushed profusely when I realized that I was staring.

“I uh... W-Well uh, my favorite is the jasmine tea,” I stammered, furiously fighting the blush that was spreading across my face.

“Jasmine tea sounds lovely. I’ll have one of those,” she said, giggling slightly at my sudden change of demeanor.

I nodded and immediately turned around, making a bee line for the kitchen. I shut the door and hit the back of my head against it. It felt like there were butterflies in my stomach. I groaned. Why did this have to happen to me now?

“She’s very pretty,” my Uncle mused, startling me into a standing position.

“Uncle!” I hissed as the blush that had just disappeared began to come back.

“What did she order?” he asked, beginning to heat a pot on the stove.

“Jasmine tea,” I mumbled.

“Ah. Isn’t that your favorite, Prince Zuko?” Uncle asked, smirking over his shoulder at me.

I could feel the tips of my ears heating up. Agni, this was embarrassing. Why did he always have to do this?

“I’m going back outside,” I huffed, glaring at him before going back into the front.

I continued to take orders and bring people their tea, all the while sneaking glances at the girl at table 2. There were a few times when my eyes met hers and I could immediately whip my head around. My blush only grew worse when I heard her giggling quietly after each time.

Uncle handed me the tray of tea and winked at me, causing me to hiss another Uncle at him before walking out towards her table. My hands were shaking slightly as I walked. I placed the tray down on her table, which caught her attention.

“Oh! Thank you, uh...,” she started, trailing off when she realized she didn’t actually know my name.

“Uh, Lee,” I said softly.

“Thank you, Lee. My name is Y/N,” she introduced with a smile.

I felt my heart flutter once more and a small blush once again dusted my cheeks. Her voice was beautiful. I wished she could have said my real name.

Wait, what?

I found myself blushing harder upon realizing what I had just thought. What the Agni was I thinking? This was no time to start crushing on someone. I had more important things to worry about.

“Y-You’re welcome. Nice to meet you,” I mumbled.

I began to walk away when I heard her say my name. I stopped and looked at her, my heart rate increasing tenfold.

“Not that I’m complaining, but I believe I only ordered one cup,” she pointed out.

I was about to ask what she meant, but when I looked at the tray there was two cups. I blinked in surprise for a moment. I had been so nervous about serving her her tea that I hadn’t even noticed the extra cup.

“Oh. I’m sorry,” I apologized, not sure what more to say.

“You said jasmine tea was your favorite, yes?” she asked, smiling slightly.

I nodded, not trusting my voice at the moment. My heart was racing so fast I thought I might just croak out nothing if I tried to say anything.

“Why don’t you have it? I’d love the company if you’d like to join me,” she offered, the pleasant smile from earlier gracing her featured again.

“Uh, well I’m actually uh...technically I’m still-“ I began to say before my Uncle cut me off.

“Lee! I believe it is time for your break,” he called out from behind the counter.

I glared at him, not missing the knowing smile he wore. He had totally planned this out.

“So, does that mean you’ll join me?” she asked hopefully, bringing my attention back to her.

“Sure,” I managed to say.

I slid into the seat across from her and began to sip my tea. Our conversation flowed quite easily and I was surprised to find myself genuinely enjoying the company. At the end of my break, I realized that somewhere along the way I had begun to smile.

This became our routine. She would come in every few days and I would spend my break and then my lunch talking with her. Sometimes she would stay late and help clean up.

One day, she came in with an even wider grin than usual. It made my stomach feel all warm and fuzzy.

“Hi Lee. Mushi,” she greeted, leaning against the counter excitedly.

“You seem happy today,” Uncle pointed out, a lazy smile greeting the girl.

“Today’s the first night of the festival! Of course I’m excited,” she exclaimed, clutching her hands to her chest happily.

“A festival?” I asked, curious as to what she was talking about.

As my Uncle brought out her usual jasmine tea, she began explaining to us that the festival lasted all week and was made to celebrate the Earth Kingdom and encourage the peace and happiness of its citizens. There were food carts and street performers and even fireworks at the end of the night. By the end of the explanation, Y/N was practically glowing.

“That sounds like fun,” I said, a nostalgic smile on my face as I remembered the festivals I had gone to back in the Fire Nation.

“It is! I’d love to take you,” she said, a gentle smile on her face.

“W-What?” I stammered.

“He would love to,” Uncle answered, placing his hand on my shoulder with a smile.

“Awesome! I’m so excited. I’m gonna get ready and then I’ll meet you outside the shop,” she said, smiling happily before taking off.

My Uncle insisted on helping me get ready, despite my constant insisting that this was not a date. He mumbled something under his breath about young love and how naive I was and forced me to let him do my hair. I sighed and relented. As soon as he was done, I walked outside the shop and began looking around for her nervously.

“Lee!” she exclaimed from further up the road.

I turned to her and smiled. I felt my heart stop as soon as my eyes landed on her. She was breathtaking. She had done her hair beautifully and she had dressed up for the festival as well. The beautiful greens and browns of her outfit complimented her eyes perfectly. I found myself blushing once more as she came close and hugged me. She pulled away before I could hug back.

“I’m so excited! There’s so many things I want to show you,” she exclaimed, grabbing my hand and dragging me down the street towards the festivities.

I felt my hand light up as soon as she touched it and my heart practically burst. I was desperately fighting a blush as she weaved through the crowd. I held onto her hand tightly so I didn’t lose her.

“First stop, food,” she exclaimed, stopping in front of a noodle cart.

“These are just noodles,” I sighed, knowing they wouldn’t compare to the spicy noodles from home that I was so used to.

“Ugh, just look at the menu and order something. My treat,” she insisted.

I rolled my eyes but did as she asked. To my surprise, they actually did have spicy noodles although I figured they wouldn’t be nearly as spicy as the ones I was used to.

We ordered and I watched as she handed me my bowl excitedly. I was about to start looking around for somewhere to sit before she began dragging me behind her once more.

“Where are you going? Aren’t we gonna eat?” I asked as she held my wrist.

“We are! With a show,” she said, stopping in front of a wooden stage.

“A show?” I asked, tilting my head in confusion.

She yanked me down to the floor, spilling some of my broth in the process. She giggled and apologized as she sat down next to me. She began eating as someone walked onto the stage.

“Welcome to the show ladies and gentlemen!” he explained, throwing his arms out to either side and bowing.

The crowd went wild.

“This is Quinn. He’s one of the greatest performers in the city. He works with fire,” Y/N explained.

“He’s a firebender?” I questioned in shock.

“What? No silly. He just performs with it. Big difference,” she joked, poking me slightly in the side before adding, “Truthfully I think it would be cool if he was.”

“You do?” I asked warily.

I wasn’t even paying attention to the man as he swung around poles of fire. I was fully focused on what Y/N had just said.

“I think it would just prove that not every firebender is bad,” she said softly, the pleasant smile returning to her face as she watched the show.

I let her words sink in as I watched the show. Quinn was twirling and throwing the poles around and masterfully avoiding the fire. He almost looked like a firebender. His final trick was to blow the fire out towards the crowd. The whole crowd burst out into cheers and clapped as he took a final bow and left the stage.

“That was amazing,” I admitted, setting my now finished bowl of noodles to the side.

“I know, right? Now there’s one last place I want to bring you,” she said, taking hold of my hand once more before taking off.

I followed dutifully after her, not that I had much choice. Her grip was surprisingly strong. The sounds of the festival grew quieter and quieter the further we got from the city. Pretty soon, we were on the outskirts of the town and heading up a small hill. It had a tree in the middle of it and a small dirt path leading up to a bench underneath.

She squealed excitedly as she raced up the hill, leaving me to trail behind her. She sat down on the bench and I sat next to her timidly.

“What uh.....what are we doing here?” I asked hesitantly.

“This is the best view of the fireworks,” she grinned, gesturing up at the sky that was filled with stars and would soon be filled with fireworks.

“Oh,” I said, letting myself relax slightly.

“So, I feel like I should admit something,” Y/N sighed, turning to face me.

“What is it?” I asked, the nerves slowly coming back.

“I haven’t been honest about who I am, exactly....,” she trailed off, picking at her nails out of habit.

“Who are you? I asked quietly.

“Remember how I told you I was a refugee from another Earth Kingdom town? Well, that was kind of a lie,” she admitted, turning to look at me nervously.

“Are you from one of the Water Tribes? You don’t look....uh..... like a waterbender,” I mumbled, caught off guard by her admission.

She sighed, letting a painful smile take her face. It made my stomach churn. I wanted her happy smile back.

“I’m.....actually from the colonies. Both of my parents are Fire Nation. And...I know who you are too,” she whispered, tears brimming on her eyes.

I sat, shocked into silence. I could hear her sniffle and begin to stand, muttering something about how she was sorry and she would go. I grabbed her wrist and kept her from leaving. She turned to look at me and I couldn’t help but stand and wipe the tears off her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried, regret written across her face, “I didn’t mean to keep lying, I just didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want you to think I was using you.”

“Were you?” I asked quietly, afraid to hear the answer.

The fireworks were now bursting in the air, sending spurts of color across the sky. I dropped my grip from her arm, but she didn’t run. Instead, she looked up at me and took a step closer.

“Not even for a second. I swear. I.....I really like you,” she answered, her genuine smile back on her face.

I brought one hand up to her cheek and glanced at her lips. I felt like they were calling to me. I slowly wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to me. I wanted nothing more than to close the minuscule distance between us. I looked down at her for permission.

She gazed up at me and smiled. I took that as a yes.

The fireworks cast a blanket of colored light over us as our lips met. I had never felt happier than in that moment. Kissing her felt like no other kiss I’d ever had. It was special.

I pulled away and rested my forehead on hers.

“Zuko, I- I mean Lee,” she corrected blushing slightly as she spoke.

“No. Call me Zuko. I like when you say my name,” I whispered, blushing as well.

“I love you, Zuko.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

#zuko #prince zuko fanfic #prince zuko fanfiction #prince zuko fic #zuko imagine #zuko x reader #prince zuko #prince zuko x reader

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greyias · 4 years ago

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Companion Interview Meme

Tagged by: @a-muirehen — thank you for the tag!

Pick three companions who know your OC/muse well. Answer the questions from at least one of their companions points of view. Replace anywhere it says ‘Grey’ with your OC’s name. Name the three companions who will be answering here: 1. Theron Shan 2. Lana Beniko 3. Kira Carsen Are they ready to be candid with their responses? Don’t worry, this is totally private. Grey will never read it.

(Slight spoiler warning in one answer for Echoes of Oblivion)

1. First Impressions. What was the first impression you had of Grey?

Theron: Look, it’s complicated. Like on one hand, she just had to be hiding something, because she was just so—so—no one is that nice! Or naive. It had to be an act somehow. I was convinced of it, there had to be something wrong with her, some deep, dark dirty secret she was hiding. Because if she wasn’t then that means she was a genuinely good person who actually cared deeply about random strangers and that was just weird. And kind of wonderful. And in retrospect when I look back maybe I just... needed a few reasons to keep people at arms distance. I once told her that I loved her from the moment I saw her. Striding into the situation room like she owned the place and... yeah. That was also true. As I said, it’s complicated. And I’m kind of an idiot.

Lana: I was quite impressed by what I had assumed at the time was a great deal of pragmatism. She was a Jedi, and yet didn’t seem bothered at all by the fact that I was a Sith. In fact, sometimes I think maybe she was... fascinated by it? There was a moment or two where I wondered if... well, I suppose it doesn’t matter now. She has always been a force to be reckoned with. It’s easy to follow someone like that... even if they are a Jedi (and a very impractical one at that. I really should have seen that coming in retrospect.)

Kira: She didn’t know how to take a joke. I mean, I’ve gotten better over the years, but at the start I’d had a tendency to make jokes first, assess the situation later. I’d made some comment about taking no prisoners, and you would have thought I’d just kicked a puppy instead of making a joke. Kind of felt like I had from the look on her face. Luckily, I think we both made better second impressions when we started working together on Coruscant.

2. Grey walks into a bar. No, it’s not a joke - what does she order? If you give her a credit for the jukebox, what kind of music would she put on?

Theron: Something fruity and filled with rum if you don’t stop her. Don’t let her drink the rum. And then because she has no loyalty whatsoever she’ll put on Tai-Vor Swivt on the jukebox and just share my special playlist with the whole cantina. Um. I mean. Her playlist. I don’t like Tai-Vor. I only listen to Heavy Isotope. And things like that.

Lana: The answer depends on the time of day, her mood, and several other factors. I have it all documented in this rubric here. You’ll need to give me more specifics on your inquiry if you want an accurate answer.

Kira: I mean, usually she just orders caf, which almost always gets a dramatic eyeroll from the bartender. So I usually have to order so we don’t get the stinkeye the entire time. And usually she lets me pick the music too -- I kind of suspect she didn’t really know many of the artists. Not exactly dialed into pop culture, that one.

3. How does Grey spend a day off from work?

Theron: Hmm, if I have my way it’s a nice slow morning and any message sent to her e-mail receives a cordial out-of-office message (Lana gets two for each message she sends.) Maybe later we can take a walk in the woods, go pet those stinky Exoboars running wild and ruining the Odessen countryside, maybe we get a little lost along the way. Spend the evening winding down with one of her swashbuckling holoflix. If I don’t have my way someone winds up asking her a work question and then she doesn’t get a day off. Yes. I know the irony of this coming from me.

Lana: If she is onsite at Odessen nowadays she seems to spend it in a mix between time in her quarters, leaving the base to take a walk in the woods, trying to duck surveillance to meditate in her “secret” spot.

Kira: Back on the Defender, it was just a lot of meditating, practicing her katas, sparring. Honestly, even on her days off she usually just kept trying to make sure we were prepared for the next mission. Although if I invited her to do something normal she’d go along with it. So I may have made sure some of our off days coincided so she would actually take something resembling a break. The weirdo. She seems to have relaxed a little from that here on Odessen. I think that’s nice.

4. What silly superstitions or funny traditions does she observe?

Theron: She meditates each morning, and still observes the Jedi morning fast. Except she totally cheats on her fast and will drink a cup of caf if its hand delivered to her. She’ll warm her hands on the mug as she takes in a big whiff, and this little smile spreads across her face. It causes the freckles on her nose to wrinkle. And maybe I’m the one who hand delivers the caf because its hard to think of a better way to start the day.

Lana: We do not speak of the fruitcake, or any of her other attempted holiday traditions. If we do not encourage her, then maybe she’ll stop. Please, we must all band together, for the good of my digestive tract.

Kira: Whenever we would finish up a mission on a planet, she liked to take off her socks and boots and meditate with her feet sticking into the ground. She even wanted to do it on Quesh but Doc was loud enough on that instance to be able to talk her out of it. She tried to hide it but she looked really disappointed, so I tried to cheer her up by joining her on this weird mud hop at our next port of call. Not sure if I really felt any different but it seemed to make her happy.

5. What does Grey wear to bed? And just how do you know that?

Theron: Traditional night wear is a thin tank top and sleep pants. Let’s just say sometimes there’s less traditional night wear, or sometimes less than that -- but that’s between husband and wife.

Lana: On mission she typically wears something quick to change into her armor. On base she seems to have a standard set of pajama bottoms and sleeveless sleep shirt. How do I know this? Let’s just say I have to keep the Commander on schedule, even when certain people who should know better try and distract her from our very busy day running things.

Kira: She usually was changed and ready for the day before I ever saw her, but sometimes there’d be a late night where she couldn’t sleep, and I’d find her in the Defender’s mess. Pretty simple and spare sleepwear, sleep pants and tank top. Fashion’s not exactly her priority, you know?

6. Your favorite memory of Grey?

Theron: Why do you make me pick? Damn... that’s hard. There’s almost too many to choose, but... I guess it would be just after we got back from Nathema, and I was trying to apologize for everything and... somehow that turned into a proposal. And despite me being a stumbling awkward mess she still said yes and... look. I probably should have picked a different one, I’m not really good at the talking about feelings thing.

Lana: That moment when the broadcast across the galaxy happened after she had tamed the Eternal Fleet, she stood poised and powerful, finally setting the galaxy aright after Zakuul had torn it asunder. It was a moment more than five years in the making and I couldn’t have been prouder.

Kira: That moment when we stood, side-by-side, with everyone else in the Force and turned that creep Tenebrae, and every other of his counterparts into absolute crumbling dust. It almost made up for the fact that I wasn’t there the first two times she sent him packing.

7. A time you very nearly almost kissed Grey?

Theron: I mean, if we’re being technical, I had... thought about it for one moment on Manaan. Just a brief second, as we were saying our farewells before I went into hiding. Our eyes had met while we were shaking hands goodbye and it would have been so easy to just pull her in close and--I didn’t. Of course I didn’t. Not then at least. Now though? I don’t miss a chance.

Lana: I was angry at myself, my weakness, and taking it out on the clutter around the Gravestone. I had been surrounded out in the swamp, and only Koth’s timely intervention had saved me. She had come seeking me out to make sure that I was all right, to check on my injury. And in the low light, she just looked so concerned and guilty, and I’m fairly certain she was leaning in. I would have, you know, if Koth hadn’t been throwing around things and making a racket.

Kira: It was right after my Knighting, and I had snuck a bottle of champagne on board to celebrate. I suspect she hadn’t ever actually tasted alcohol before, judging by her reaction to the first sip. But we kept drinking, and giggling, kind of like we weren’t stuffy Jedi at all. And there was this moment where she asked me about Nar Shaddaa. Not pushy or anything, just... curious about my experiences. She never talks about it, but I don’t think she really knew much of life outside of the Order so she was always cautiously curious. And there was this moment where I was telling her about my first kiss and we kind of leaned in and--nothing happened. At the time I didn’t want to risk making things weird. I... like where we’re at. I’m fine with it.

8. Vacation time! Where do you take Grey for some R&R?

Theron: You know, I just love the sound of that word. Vay-cay-shun. Despite popular opinion I actually do take them, maybe a few more now than when I was single. We have a secret little hideaway that no one else knows about that I like to take her to when things get a little rough or we just need a break from the everything the galaxy is deciding to throw her our way.

Lana: You know, a vacation does sound nice, but someone has to keep things running here, especially when a certain nameless spy whisks our Commander away to fake locales. Seriously, I need a proper itinerary. What if I need to contact them? It’s just rude. Oh right, the question. I suppose I wouldn’t mind visiting some place quiet and out of the way, although I honestly have yet to find a place in galaxy that qualifies because if I take Grey for some reason she always finds someone in trouble that she insists on rescuing.

Kira: I’m not sure if it qualifies as a vacation per se, but I’ve been able to sneak her and one of our other Jedi buddies around base off to Nar Shaddaa for a Girl’s Night. Those are fun, even if we kept getting hit on at the bars. Although that can be entertaining in itself, especially that one time some guy pretended to be a Jedi, and then got this very detailed lecture on how bad an idea that was from Grey. I don’t think I’ve seen a man wilt so fast in my life. I would pay to see that again.

9. Grey’s sense of humor -is it dry, immature, sarcastic, self-deprecating, physical, witty, dark, or…?

Theron: I think it depends on the situation and her mood. It can be very subtle, and sometimes I can’t tell if she’s being serious when she says something ridiculous, or if she’s messing with me. Which... I suppose is fair, because sometimes I do the same to her.

Lana: She loves a good pun, which I find delightful. It’s doubly delightful just to see Theron roll his eyes and groan like he’s being tortured.

Kira: I think a lot of people don’t really get her humor, and honestly it took me a while to realize when she was joking. She likes to let others take the lead when it comes to cracking jokes, but when she does make a zinger, it takes a few seconds for it to land. They’re a lot more sly and subtle than you’d think. My favorite is when she starts to get really frustrated with someone and makes really dry, pointed comments that usually sail right over their heads. She has so many people fooled with that sweet serene Jedi act, they don’t even realize the epic burn until long after the conversation has ended.

Tagging: @confettininjabean, @thewriterandmuse. @shanfamilydrama, @storyknitter, @lumielles, @captainderyn, and @brietopia

#companion interview meme #tag game #tag thing #meme thing #thank you for the tag!#this was fun!#oc: greyias highwind #i had to stop them from commenting on each others' answers #(and pretend they couldn't hear each other)#because it just kept descending into snark and bickering #and was making each question a loooooong scroll lmao #theron was very indignant and practically vibrating at many of lana's answers

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dokidokivisual · 4 years ago

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Gochiusa BLOOM episode 4 impressions

Previously: episode 3, episode 2, episode 1

And now, episode 4. Last time we saw Chiya and Cocoa being put in charge of organising a “restaurant” for their class’s entry into the cultural festival. And it ends with them showing up at Rize and Sharo’s school and borrowing some “supplies”. At the start of episode 4 we go back in time to see what happened between those two events, as well as the cultural festival itself.

The episode opens with one of Cocoa’s classmates discussing a proposed arrangement of tables in the classroom, from the feng shui point of view. This traditional Chinese practice is often used in East Asia to create harmonious environment. In Japanese it’s called fūsui (風水). One of the main instruments is a compass (羅盤 raban), which can be seen placed on the table here:

Like with a normal compass there are symbols for directions written around it. However it also includes Chinese zodiac and Celestial stem characters. Just so we don’t forget what show this is, the character for Rabbit zodiac sign is replaced by a pictogram. The flow of qi (or chi) energy is also discussed, which is one of the primary feng shui concepts.

In the very next shot we see a bunch of Cocoa’s classmates gathered around the table. In anime it often happens that the main characters greatly stand out among their classmates by having original design and colorful hair. In fact in season 1 episodes 4 and 8 when Cocoa’s class is shown, that pretty much appears to be the case.

However the new group of classmates we’re introduced to is different. Not only do they have colorful hair and unique design, but they also have names and different personalities. Moreover this story arc isn’t the last time they’re seen (at least in the manga). Some backstory for these characters is also revealed, such as Kano staying at carpenter’s house, and Class President having deep-seated issues because of failing to get into her preferred school.

Anyway, Cocoa and Chiya decide that the best way to decorate their “restaurant” is by borrowing the decorations from the other school. Apparently they had to defeat the clubs over there in various contests, including the blowgun club (with its president making only a background appearance this time). This is obviously a callback to season 2 episode 10 where Rize and Sharo also had to win various contests to reach their goal.

The “spoils of war” include a bunch of masks that were previously seen decorating the blowgun club. I’m honestly not aware of any connection between fukiya and masks, but anyway, in a callback to an earlier feng shui scene we see classmate Anzu being aghast at the negative qi the mask seemingly emanates.

We get a little "imagine spot” with the classmates imagining Rize and Sharo based on their descriptions, which are apparently quite scary. I thought it’s interesting how the question marks which in the manga were drawn on top of the characters silhouettes ended up being drawn directly on characters’ faces and being partially covered by hair. Spooky.

We also see how the classmates imagine Cocoa and Chiya. Cocoa is seen as a “little sister” (much to her annoyance), while Chiya is seen as bancho (番長) which is the title of a leader of a group of juvenile delinquents, a surprisingly common character archetype despite the fact that this subculture hasn’t existed for decades. This is in contrast to Chiya imagining herself as shacho (社長), company president. 社 also means “society”, while a delinquent is basically the opposite of that.

Also, what was up with this soup being prepared? I don’t think they even served it. Anyway, Cocoa and Chiya give invitations to the rest of the gang, and the official theme of the “restaurant” is revealed, which is Beer Hall! And more specifically, Oktoberfest. Now, as you probably know this is a huge beer festival held in Munich, Germany. Contrary to its name, it takes place mostly during late September, and ends on the first Sunday of October, so perhaps this is the time period when the episode happens. On the other hand, cultural festivals are usually held around November 3rd (Culture Day) in Japan. So that’s another datapoint. On the third hand (?) we haven’t reached the Halloween episode yet so it’s probably not November.

(yeah, this is the second gif of Cocoa and Chiya on fire, what about it)

Anyway, it’s the day of the Cultural Festival and we see all sorts of stalls set up by the other classes. Chino, who has never been there before(?) seems to be impressed by it all, while Rize seems to imply they don’t have events like this at her school. Chimame run off by themselves, which leaves Rize and Sharo on a date basically.

Soon Chimame come back, each carrying a beer mug (called Maß in German and “stein” in English) which contains what looks like beer, but is actually a very frothy apple juice. However note that in Japanese “juice” (ジュース) can mean any soft drink, so it might have been carbonated or something?

Soon, a very scary person in a Tippy costume shows up, but it’s actually Cocoa and this is her idea of a “Tippy hat” which she mentioned earlier. Cocoa (and the rest of her class) wears a costume which could be previously seen on the cover of Memorial Blend, the season 1 Gochiusa guidebook. This is actually a traditional dress called dirndl which is worn in southern Germany and other countries around the Alps.

The full menu can be briefly seen here and includes Apfelsaft (apple juice), Apfelwein (apple wine), Apfelsoda (apple soda, but pretty sure that’s not a real word) and Brezel (pretzel). No soup included. Also note Sharo being scared of the rabbit statue before this scene.

Anzu shows up again, this time doing a Tarot card reading. It seems she’s interested in all sorts of divinations. In response Chino does the same “much obliged for taking care of” greeting Chiya did to Karede Yura in the previous episode, while calling Cocoa dame-ane (ダメ姉 “no-good big sister”) in the process. It’s not very often that Chino calls Cocoa “big sister”, so Cocoa is very happy about that.

Kano is seen bringing 5 full beer steins to the table. The standardized volume of one beer stein is 1 liter, which corresponds to 1kg of liquid. Together with the glass itself, total weight is about 2.5kg, or 5 pounds. The largest number of beer steins a single person has carried simultaneously is 29 (by Oliver Strümpfel). For a female, the record is 19 by Anita Schwarz. I didn’t expect Rize to win the armwrestling contest against Kano (in the manga it was ambiguous who won, or whether the contest even took place) but I guess being a CQC expert would help with that.

Chimame, Rize and Sharo are convinced to try on the dirndls of Cocoa’s classmates, who then immediately bail, leaving Rize and others in the position of the waiters. However they happily take on the challenge, and even Aoyama and Rin join in. We also see the mysterious pretzel that was on the menu:

Without Cocoa, there was nobody to call in new guests, but it turned out that Chino had more appeal wearing that Tippy headgear, so Chino bravely takes on this role for herself.

This kind of dramatic shot is called “harmony processing” (ハーモニー処理) and comes from the time anime was cel-animated with the character cel being painted in to blend with the background cel. The most famous example of this technique is in the boxing anime Ashita no Joe.

Eventually Cocoa, Chiya, Rize and Sharo get to leave their post and explore the school, all wearing Cocoa’s school uniforms, and have a good time. They imagine how it would’ve been if they were all classmates (even Rize who is technically a year older, but if her birthday was not in February but in April she’d be in the same class as the others).

Just like the last episode’s title, the title of this episode あったかもしれない日常 is reused from the manga, namely the chapter 12 of volume 5. It basically means “the everyday life that could have been”, and refers specifically to the alternate timeline where Rize, Sharo, Chiya and Cocoa are classmates.

More importantly, Chino gets to see what it looks like, and it might be the final push she needs to decide which school she would join (although there are many scenes hinting towards it throughout the episode). Chino even manages to get a photographer to preserve the memory of this moment. She wasn’t brave enough to ask for it directly, so she puts on the Tippy headgear to do it. A funny difference from the manga though, is that in the anime Tippy (to his horror) gets covered up by it, instead of staying on top of it like before.

After the festival, there’s a mostly anime-original scene where Chino pretty much announces her decision to Maya and Megu. With Chino’s statement “I have decided” I can’t help but recall the lyrics of the ending theme

決めちゃいます ○ですから問題なーい (We’ll decide. Because we’re <blank> it’ll be ok.)

With the placeholder ○ standing for “Chimame-tai”, of course.

Which brings up a question: when does Chino tell Maya and Megu she has chosen Cocoa’s school in the manga? I can’t find it at all. Seems like they already know by vol.6 ch.7...

After the ED there’s another short scene of Chino sneaking in Cocoa’s room to imagine how her uniform will look on her. Interestingly, this is based on 4-koma from chapter 13, making this the first episode this season to adapt content from 3 different chapters. Makes me wonder how they’ll adapt the rest of chapter 13 because this reveal is at the end of it, and some scenes rely on Cocoa not knowing Chino’s decision. But I guess we’ll see in the next episode.

Anyway, thanks for reading, see you next week!

#gochiusa #is the order a rabbit?#gochuumon wa usagi desu ka?#review

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demoncryptspanties · 5 years ago

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Time After Time

Part 7 - Finale

Masterlist, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

A/N Thank you so much for sticking with me the whole way through. I’m not sure what I’m going to do after this but if you have any ideas please share. Thank you for the comments and likes I really appreciate it, so yeah basically thank you, and enjoy.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

You threw on a kimono robe on from the back of the closet. As a force of habit, you didn’t throw on any clothes above underwear underneath your robe and walked downstairs. Selene wrapped herself around your wrist, just slightly obscured by the sleeve of your robe. The table in the kitchen was already filled with the other people in the house including Luke. For some reason a feeling of light-headedness overtook you making you stop and hold onto the nearest surface. It felt like you had gotten up way too quickly. The black in your vision disappearing as quickly as it came.

You missed the look of concern on Sabrina’s face when you straightened up and refused to look at Ambrose taking the empty spot in between Sabrina and Zelda instead.

“Morning Aunties, Sabrina, Ambrose and of course Luke,” You gave Luke a tight smile and reached for the cup of tea and an apple.

“Are you alright Y/N,” Hilda asked a look of concern gracing her face. You were craving one of her cinnamon brews.

“Yes of course, but I wanted to ask you. What is the best way to get rid of a hex?” You asked loudly in order to gain the attention of the whole table. Your tone gave way to clear annoyance bordering anger, you had to fight the urge to give Luke a pointed look.

“You got hexed?” Ambrose joined Hilda with his look of concern, while Luke had a small smirk which he quickly covered when you looked at him.

“Yes.” You turned back to your tea sipping it gently.

“Well it depends on the hex, what has it affected.” Hilda sat down in front of you, halting her movements at the stove.

“My sleep. I’ve been hit with waves of fatigue for 2 days now. I guess that what was also making me lightheaded.” You smiled sweetly.

“Well a bath of milk and a chant should do it, but we don’t have enough milk,” she seemed to already be planning something sharing a look with Zelda and then moving back to the stove.

“I can go to the store on my way back home and get some.” Sabrina offered from her spot next to you. Her tone was slight, she was confused, she hadn’t figured it out yet. Were you the only one who saw it?

“Yes, that would be fantastic Sabrina. Do you know who hexed you Y/N” Zelda said. She had finished her tea and was quietly observing the conversation. It was characteristic for her; you could tell she was already plotting.

“Yes, I do.” You had a twinkle in your eye knowing exactly where this was going.

“Perhaps I could help you with a little revenge,” She shared your twinkle and you nodded lightly. Zelda seemed to already have an abundance of plans to torment whoever hexed you. Her and Lilac would make a completely unstoppable team, chaotic but calculated if one could be.

“Well I am going to bed; someone wake me when Sabrina has the milk.” You moved to leave, downing your tea and giving a small wave.

“You literally just woke up,” Luke muttered just loud enough that you caught it. He was annoyed, he wanted more from you.

“Did I fucking stutter,” You didn’t turn around to look at him. Perhaps you shouldn’t have been so harsh but now that he actually did something it felt justified.

A small hiss filled the kitchen. No-one could place the sound until Selene ghosted over the table stopping right in front of Luke baring her fangs and preparing to pounce. Ambrose scooped her up lightly and called after you.

“Selene really doesn’t like Luke does she” He cooed lightly at her. You walked back to collect her, offering your hand to the snake. Selene coiled around to her previous spot and hissed at both the boys, snapping at Ambrose’s fingers. Ambrose seemed hurt by the action and cocked his head at you.

“Are you angry at me?” He asked earnestly. His voice was soft, now that was sincerity.

You gave him a genuine smile and sighed lightly, “No I’m just tired.” You began to walk away again until his voice stopped you.

“Is that my robe,” his tone was teasing but Luke’s face seemed to illicit a feeling from you that you didn’t recognise.

“Oh, I suppose it is,” you cocked your head to the side and pulled it off yourself handing it to him. The sharp intake of breath from Ambrose and Luke’s flustered cough were worth the disapproving look from Zelda. You shrugged and finally went back to your room the peach coloured walls offering a little comfort.

You knew what jealousy felt like and it sure wasn’t that, sort of. Maybe it was but it wasn’t just that. Whatever you were feeling had you frustrated making you groan slightly, even more, frustrated when tears started welling in your eyes. You weren’t upset. He was happy, he wanted this, and you wanted him to be happy. It was fine.

It was the evening when Sabrina came back with the milk, it was almost instantly that you felt better. You had more energy than you had in months, the amount of sleeping you did finally catching up with you. Zelda had offered an array of ideas for you to pick from, but you eventually and reluctantly declined. It wasn’t needed, you wouldn’t stoop to that level over something stupid.

For a while after, you made a conscious effort to avoid whatever males were in the house. It seemed to be a running thing. First Ambrose’s uncle Edward and then eventually both him and Luke. You didn’t want to, but you felt the distance would be good for you. Although he did seem a little sad when you would leave a room that he was in. You probably couldn’t keep this up for much longer.

You not being involved in everything worked fine, you seemed to conveniently be visiting your sister when large events happened such as Tommy’s death and the ritual. It was like you were less involved with everything, more didn’t like you were looking in on a story. You didn’t feel like family anymore and it was weird, and you didn’t know why. Sabrina made the effort to fill you in on everything but it wasn’t enough, you were so separate with nothing to do and no real purpose.

One thing you didn’t miss was Ambrose being pardoned though. You should have been happier than you were. You just wished it happened earlier. When you were a bigger part of his life. You were jealous, now this was jealousy. Luke got this part of him and you didn’t and to be honest it was your fault, if that day you had just pushed him to say something, you knew he would have. If you pushed harder but then again, as you said, you wanted him to be sure and he wasn’t. You celebrated with everyone and then Luke had to leave and so you dragged a drunk him to bed. This was the perfect opportunity to ask him something, anything, anything you wanted the answer to. But would you take advantage of the situation like that and how bad of a person did that make you if you did.

You stopped thinking which was probably the worst idea and just asked him. “Ambrose, what happened with Batibat.” You felt guilty instantly, but it was too late now.

He stilled but his expression didn’t really change, it was like he was somewhere else, but he did answer you. “I got pardoned, but it was too late, and she was dead. I couldn’t go anywhere with her. It all happened on the same day. She was at the door burning.” It was pretty obvious that he was talking about you, you decided not too to push.

He was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. You decided to ask another question. “Do you love him. Luke?” You hated your own nerve, and, in all honesty, you didn’t want to know the answer.

“Yeah I do. In a way. Not like I love her, but I still love him.” He giggled lightly at his own words and again during the silence. You heard soft snoring from him after and chose to take your leave.

You shouldn’t feel sad, you do know that. He was happy and you were jealous. You had finally admitted it to yourself, but you wouldn’t ruin this for him. It wasn’t fair. You left town to stay with your sister which is why you missed the 13, you did come back just in time for Lupercalia though, which was purely by accident. Something had changed with Ambrose but again you didn’t know what it was, you didn’t know him anymore. Although you held onto the belief that you did, you knew in your heart he was a different person.

It was clear in weird ways. You weren’t sure how it happened, who was changing him but slowly his attitude changed. It was first obvious when Sabrina said she wanted to be top boy. Normally you would have thought he would be supportive, but he wasn’t. When he mentioned that it was called top boy for a reason you frowned and shook your head at him, your opinion didn’t seem to matter anymore. He looked away from you.

The next time it became glaringly obvious was during Lupercalia. The mostly monogamous Ambrose had instead technically decided to cheat on Luke with the extremely beautiful Prudence. You got the appeal, you really did. If she wasn’t so bitchy to put it lightly you would probably be all over her. At least that’s what you told yourself. You told yourself a lot of things, you explained a lot of things away. How separate you are from everyone, how you were losing your place here. You weren’t sure if that was just you or if you really were, but Sabrina stopped asking you for advice a while back. The aunties had their own things to deal with, Hilda being her new relationship and Zelda being her growing relationship with father blackwood.

You of course decided not to participate, you weren’t sure what Hilda was doing but the other three in the household were participating. The house felt sickly, you just smelt wine and lust and the overwhelming feeling of being lonely. You avoided everyone for a while and only came out when needed or asked for. That wasn’t often. You made plans to go back to Central America, but something halted them. Luke had died according to father blackwood. Ambrose had put up a front, but he came in the middle of the night to your room. You weren’t asleep, you weren’t really sure why and he cried.

He cried softly at first and then it became more desperate and you could almost feel how hard it was for him to breathe. It took a moment, the surprise of him standing in your room and the sobs that were coming out of him but once you registered what was happening you leapt up and pulled him towards you. He wasn’t expecting you to pull him so harshly and fell into your arms and therefore you onto the bed. You both stayed like that for a moment, then shifted that he was lying facing you. You had a leg over his and you both cling to each other like it was saving a life. You didn’t talk about it the day after, when you woke up in a similar position or even after that. You decided to avoid each other for a while, but you didn’t leave. Whether that was a good decision would reveal itself later but now there was something unspoken between the two of you. An understanding.

You were glad that you stayed since Ambrose seemed to make a habit of getting himself into trouble. Father Blackwood had allowed him to work at the school, once you found this out things started to take a lot more sense. Every father figure Ambrose seemed to have is always a bad influence. So, it came to no surprise that he was accused of murder. You hadn’t seen him or run into him the entire time it was all happening. Everything reminded you of before, when you were helpless, when you couldn’t do anything. It made you break down a lot. You didn’t even try to see him once he was imprisoned and then Sabrina happened.

You tied to help when you could, but it was mostly patching people up, providing relief of sorts. Not many people there even knew who you were. Angels and witch-hunters were people you were familiar with all in bad ways. You wouldn’t be useful on the front line in that sense. Not with what happened to your brother and your aunt, uncle and cousins. It was too much.

It all went downhill from there, it always went downhill. Everyone was so focussed in their own business, rightfully so, that they didn’t realise how badly you were actually doing. You needed him, you needed something, which you weren’t getting but you were too afraid to ask. You hadn’t left your room in days and as Selene got sicker you did as well. You felt like before, when you thought he was going to die, when things were a mess. When nothing worked and it wasn’t getting better. Nobody noticed, nobody cared.

The best thing you could have done was move on, go home back to central America. Leave go somewhere but you were in no shape to leave the house until you were. It was the aftermath of the Satan situation and you made your way to the school You saw him with Prudence. You listened to him saying that he was leaving, you were breaking, and you weren’t entirely sure why.

“You’re going?” You said softly. His eyes were wide like a deer caught in headlights.

Prudence took this as her cue to leave, giving Ambrose a soft smile and you a light touch on the shoulder.

“Yes, you see. The twins are in danger and I don’t want.” The look on your face shut him down, his words dying in his mouth.

“I know I’m not angry about that by all means go but Ambrose without any warnings.” You stepped close to him, eyes both sad and confused.

“I know that it seems, and with Prudence, I know.” He made a move to touch you, but you stepped back to your original place.

“I really don’t care about that Ambrose. It’s just. Years ago, when you were sleepy and maybe a little drunk, I made a promise. That I would come back to you time after time. And I did,” you were rambling by this point, the suddenness of it making you look away from him as if talking to yourself.

“I don’t see where this is going. You don’t think I’m coming back.” He eyebrows were set in a confused stare again. A nervous sigh escaping his throat.

“No will you let me finish for once in your life. I came back because I loved you. And even though the love we shared has obviously dissipated. You made a promise to me. The same night you proposed, sort of, that you would never leave me, and you are. Without even thinking about me. I don’t know what to do Ambrose. I don’t know where to go, where I belong anymore” Your eyes were watery by this pointing turning to hold his stare.

He took a deep sigh before saying, “Look I’m not leaving for good I will come back.” He didn’t know what to say, what he was supposed to say.

“I know that, that’s not what is hurting me. It’s the fact that the love we shared and the promises we kept was not enough, that I was not enough for you to do something simple as call and tell me you’re going. What about your aunties and Sabrina were you just gonna call when you were halfway across the world?” Tears were free-falling by now.

“It’s not about that is it.” His voice softened along with his face to almost a whisper, again reaching out to touch you but you shrugged him off.

“Of course, it’s not about that. I mean it is, but it isn’t.” You started to fidget on the spot, unable to look him in the eye. “When you broke up with me, I never spoke about anyone I had met romantically or slept with. Because I wasn’t with anyone, ever. I didn’t want to be, but then I find you having an orgy.” You were just saying anything that came to mind now. You didn’t want to admit everything, admit that you need him. Your sister had her girlfriend, Lilac her coven, Jude his own coven. You just wanted someone to want you, to need you around. You wanted to feel like you were worth something, it was selfish and wrong but your relationship with everyone had changed and you were being left behind. Everyone had grown, done things and moved on without you.

He started to interrupt you, but you cut him off “I found out through Sabrina that you were in a relationship, that you had a boyfriend who you were very much cheating on with Prudence. Dick moves by the way. You didn’t have the heart to tell me that.”

Your eyes finally met his with you both unable to look at anything else. “I am in love with you, I always have been. I probably always will be. With Lilith as my witness I wish I could stop. I want to hard to stop, to let you go but I can’t. I want you in any way I can. I let you break up with me because I thought it would make you happy, that you were just going through something that we could work out. You thought you were setting me free, but you just hurt me instead.”

You took a moment to compose yourself, too deep into crying to carry on. Once you calmed down you continued, “It was me, who comforted you when Luke died, it was me who was completely distraught after you were arrested, not Prudence. I may not have seen you but that is literally because I couldn’t, I couldn’t bring myself to. It was me making teas after your fun nights and talking through the shit decisions you were about to make. It was me who tried to protect you no matter the cost. I was the one who was there, who showed you love, beyond everything but I wasn’t enough. I never am.”

“I don’t know what to say.” He seemed stunned and guilty in a sense.

Something seemed to change in you after he spoke, it was like any trace of emotion had left and your face went blank. You sniffled lightly before replying “It doesn’t matter. It was unfair of me to spring that upon you. You cannot help your feelings. Just go you have twins to find.” You gave up.

“Y/N. I’m sorry. I love you.” He tried to offer but again you shut him down.

“No, you don’t Ambrose. You’re just saying that because I burst in front of you. That was unfair of me. Please by all means go. Be happy and find those twins.” Sighed deeply and turned away from him, walking towards the exit.

“Y/N please.” He asked weakly. He was still shocked and a little confused not having time to process your feelings before you shut down on him.

“Please go Ambrose. Prudence is probably waiting for you. You have to go.” You didn’t give him the time to reply, wiping your face with your sleeve you offered him a soft smile and left the room.

He didn’t chase after you rooted to his spot and when he finally left the room you were gone. Prudence put a hand on his shoulder saying something that he didn’t quite hear still in a daze.

You had teleported yourself back to the house, throwing everything you could into a trunk desperate to leave before he figured out where you were. You didn’t mean to let out all your feeling but the combination of Prudence, the stress of the last couple of days and your own internal feelings had pushed you to admit that.

You scrawled a note addressed to Hilda saying that you were going to your old coven for a bit, and that she could contact you any way she wanted after a week had passed. You also left one for Sabrina, congratulating her and wishing her good luck until you came back. The one for Zelda wished her fortune and happiness as the new high priestess. The one for Ambrose was shorter, an apology and promise that you would always come back.

You didn’t know where to go, who to stop by on your way but somehow in the shortest amount possible, you found yourself at home. In front of your old childhood house, somewhere you knew your mother would be. Ambrose would be okay, and if you saw each other again it would be fate but right now you knew where you needed to be. You needed somewhere that felt like home, so you went to the beginning. Maybe you would end up back in Central America, but when your mother opened the door the thought of after left, you were when you needed to be for now.

#ambrose spellman imagine #ambrose spellman x reader #ambrose spellman #caos imagine #imagine

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eloarei · 4 years ago

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1, 2, 3, 7, 9, 13, 17, 23 (some of these are random and some aren't)

Thanks for the many questions, Socks! Sorry I didn’t answer them earlier; I decided answering asks on mobile sucks. ALSO, this is going to be super long haha sorry. 1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it? Well, my most current project is one I just started brainstorming. It’s (hopefully gonna be) a Fallout 3 series, with my latest fic being the starting point. LW/Fawkes is a ship I liked immediately when I played the series some years ago, but I never got around to writing for it, probably in part because there’s already a super good longfic about them, and I just didn’t think there was much else I could say. But my LW is different from Choco’s LW, and lately I wanted to start something self-indulgent. Although I have enough ideas for this to maybe be a single 30k fic, I’m choosing to do a series of shortfics instead, so that I’m not burdening myself with another long project. Fic series are great in that way, because it’s basically complete with every new fic. On top of that, I have... probably 3 other things I want to make significant progress on this year. First is another Fallout fic: Same Heart. I’ve posted 8 chapters already and have almost 2 more done, but due to the slow-build nature of it (and my tagging) I don’t expect to have almost any readers until at least chapter 10 (when the ship characters finally meet). I’d like to at least get that far this year. A project I’d love to finish by fall is the unreleased “The Wilderness”, a Venom zombie AU that I started for NaNoWriMo 2 years ago. It’s about 55% written, and my goal is to have as much of it done as possible before the sequel movie comes out. If it’s not done by then, I still plan to post whatever I have. And lastly-ish, my novel... thing. Rogue. I’m in the process of editing it, although I’ve taken kind of a break lately. And as soon as I’m done with the edits and can get a couple of people to read it (just so they can tell me if certain parts are stupid and need changed) I plan to start the next book in the series... which will probably end up being book #1, actually, if I do them modern-era chronologically. It’s... gonna be a process. ^^; 2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project. In my upcoming FO3 fic series, I’m honestly just kind of weirdly looking forward to... how do I put this? Exploring my own vaguely-traumatic experiences through fic. I’ll always do a happy ending, if possible, but before we get there I really want to run these two through the ringer of... being given something they were led to believe was impossible, being judged for it, having it taken away, and then being told “well maybe it’s for the best”. When it comes to future projects, I guess I’m really excited about writing the new Rogue book. “Reaper”, I guess, is its unimaginative working title. I’m anxious about it, because I thought Rogue had some really deeply emotional scenes, and I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to accomplish that as well with this new one, simply because the characters don’t have the same level of desperation about each other. I need to figure out what’s unique about their dynamic and push that. I guess I’m looking forward to the challenge. 3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway) Hmm gosh. Technically there’s a scene in the later chapters of Mobius that I already wrote, but it wouldn’t take place until probably chapter 3 or later, and I just lost all steam on that fic, sadly. But every time I poke through my notes I make myself cry reading it. It’s a scene where one character knows it’s going to be the last time he sees the person he loves most, and he can’t explain his pain to anyone. I really just want to get there so I can see if it makes other people cry like babies haha. But on a completely unrelated note, there’s also this ZADR fic I started writing in like 2009, and I absolutely didn’t want to do the work to get to the fun middle scenes, but basically it was an AU where young adult Dib went to live/work in the thriving multi-species space community, where he’s... I dunno, studying alien biology I think?, and he ends up with Zim as a roommate. The scenes I really wanted to write were about the two of them getting into like a bar fight with some tough types, and Zim gets his pak ripped off/damaged in the process, and Dib has to sort of take care of him through a horrible fever. But then it turns out that the pak was not a life-support system like they thought, but actually a growth inhibitor so they (the people in charge of the Irkens) could choose who became the Tallest (the leaders). (And also it hindered reproduction, etc.) So basically the two of them accidentally start to unravel a galactic conspiracy which also involves corruption in the Earth government, etc, and Zim gets taller but spoiler alert, he still doesn’t get tall enough to challenge the Tallest lol. Sadly, I doubt I’ll ever actually write that fic. Sounds like too much effort lol. 7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree? That’s such a hard question. Ummm. How do I put any of that into words? ...I think one of the things about my writing is that a lot of the time nothing really happens in a scene, and the story mostly focuses on a character thinking. Like, enough happens so there’s something for them to think about, but I think I tend to put a lot of emphasis on POV character’s thoughts, to the point of sometimes seeming stream-of-consciousness. I’ve been told that this makes my stories feel alive though? So I think it appeals to some people, though I’m sure others would find such stories boring. Oh also, somewhat along these lines, I like to add commentary that is only somewhat relevant, usually in parenthesis at the end of a sentence or paragraph. (Honestly, it’s not unusual to see one in every paragraph if I’m writing something slightly humorous.) 9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other? I would LOVE to write primarily longfics! However, I just don’t have the time or energy for it, and I don’t write fast enough. So I end up with a lot of oneshots under 10k. I had to challenge myself to learn to write short things though, and then it’s really about writing something short, not about writing a specific story. Generally, I’m both pantster and plotter. I tend to write the first chapter/few scenes/maybe as much as 10k, just by the seat of my pants. After that, I look at what I’ve got and write out a plot to continue from there. Plotting everything out before I start just doesn’t work for me, but if I try “pantsing” anything longer than 15k I know I’m gonna have an absolute torturous hell of a time. 13. Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself? Lol I think anyone who’s reading this knows I share my stuff online. Primarily on my AO3, though there’s some other stuff floating around here on tumblr too. Most of the time if I keep something to myself it’s only because it’s not finish enough to share. So, sure, there’s plenty of that, but the goal is always to share it eventually. If I ever get around to finishing a novel, those will probably be the only things I don’t just post online. (Though I do post most of my OC stuff currently.) 17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations? I think that inevitably my readers will always perceive me and my writing a bit differently than I do. That’s just... interacting with people. Nobody knows you entirely. However, I am as open and honest in my writing as possible, and I actually think that reading my fic is the best way to get to know me. I like to hope that I am an open book to anyone who has read many of my words. =] While you may not know the details of my life, I think you would have a good insight into my personality. 23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest? Like... my oldest fic/story that I’ve never written or posted? Not counting stuff I’ve consciously abandoned (things from middle school, mostly), my original fic series, “Damsel and Company in Distress” aka DamselCo. is definitely my oldest story. I think I started fiddling with it in 2006-- which makes it pretty disappointing that it’s gotten next to nowhere. XD; But the story is my baby, and it’s been my baby for so long that anyone who’s followed me ever is probably at least vaguely familiar with a few of the characters. Now maybe one day I’ll actually give it the attention it deserves, though I’m sure it’ll need significant revamping. After all, a lot has changed in 14+ years. Ideas that were new and subversive then are probably already stale.

#elo talks #elo fics #ask meme #writing #long post #braincoins

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