#although for worldbuilding purposes I DO think that they don't have what we know as pufferfish

[welcometololaland]

almost uploaded a picture of my bank statement instead of this header! happy days!

thanks for the tags @hippolotamus @kiwiana-writes @happiness-of-the-pursuit @rmd-writes

@nancygillianmvp @terramous @tellmegoodbye @freneticfloetry @beautifulhigh

@orchidscript @myheartalivewrites and @strandnreyes (don't think that was a real tag but i'm taking it anyway to force you to love me).

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

49 (last time it was 46 but i feel like that isn't enough of a difference? disappointed in myself dfhskjh)

2. What's your Ao3 bodycount word count?

1,119,086 which does include some co-writes, but I also have around 200k of unposted WIP in my google docs so i'm counting it (including a fully written fic - someone put their hands around my neck and force me to edit it PLEASE).

3. Which fandoms do you write for?

red white and royal blue, 911 lone star, top gun maverick (flirting with winter's orbit always)

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

the order of these has changed but not the identity:

Speak for Yourself (RWRB) (you know when eminem said he'd never be able to top My Name Is? this is my version of that)

Fifty First Dates (RWRB) (oodie agenda reigns supreme)

The RIng-In (Lone Star) (otherwise, lone star is in danger of being eviscerated from this top 5 lmao)

(Not) A Cinderella Story (RWRB) (NDAs are hot, apparently)

Cursed is a State of Mind (RWRB) (cursed caffeine is the main drawcard let's not lie)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try my absolute best to. i am currently really behind and i apologise for that (the problem is, i reply to comments before i post anything and i haven't posted anything in ages).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

serious answer - Contaminated

my answer - oh baby i'm a fool for you because we never find out if they actually watch twilight and that's a damn shame

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

literally everything else - i don't really do open endings or sad endings! in the words of the great philosopher, skepta: "nah, that's not me."

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i used to, but i haven't in ages! thank god for that.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes, although i have to say i've been moving away from pwp lately. i feel my best smut is written into longer fics where the sex serves a plot or characterisation purpose within the frame of the overarching narrative.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

yes, a RWRB/LS but i never finished it. ALTA is a veronica mars inspired tarlos fic which kind of feels like a crossover at times.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge :)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! Phonography (Lone Star) has been translated, as has Baby, Make Your Move (Lone Star) and Warm Whispers (Lone Star). I'm very grateful to the incredible people who have made these translations happen - you are so talented.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

yes, many with @dustratcentral. I also wrote a chapter of a co-written fic with a whole bunch of incredible RWRB authors called never the same twice.

@rmd-writes and I have created (Un)Professional Services and (upcoming) Call Me (By Your Name).

The Rainbow Fish was co-written with @strandnreyes.

I love co-writing so much and I am always open to anyone who wants to give it a go!

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

me + my unposted wips.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

probably the aforementioned crossover which was apparently also my answer last time.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm allergic to giving myself compliments but i would say maybe dialogue/banter and worldbuilding.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

keeping things short. also, exposition.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

kinda scared to because i don't speak any other languages and i'm so hesitant to annoy my very talented multi-lingual friends with my annoying questions.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

we don't talk about that.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

probably still Love Game because the experience was just so amazing and i never wanted to stop writing it.

heaps of people have already done this so leaving an open tag and also a couple of suggestions under the cut but apologies if you've already participated or been tagged 7 million times:

@bonheur-cafe @theghostofashton @thebumblecee @indomitable-love @eclectic-sassycoweyes

@tailoredshirt @vineofroses @liminalmemories21 @mikibwrites @birdclowns

@ladytessa74 @basilsunrise @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @rosedavid @sanjuwrites

@alrightbuckaroo @three-drink-amy @marjansmarwani @dumbpeachjuice @doublel27

@lemonlyman-dotcom @blueink3 @ambiguouspenny @clottedcreamfudge @emmalostinwonderland

@sail-not-drift @inexplicablymine @celeritas2997 @cricketnationrise @reyesstrand

@goodways @carlos-in-glasses @heartstringsduet @sunshinestrand @sherryvalli

[koolades-world]

Obey me! but with the brothers having had always been demons, formed in kid/baby-form as manifestations of the seven deadly sins. Lucifer was raised as the right hand man of Diavolo, appointed the brother of Mammon, then Levi, then Asmo etc. etc.

A version where they are more depraved and dark than they otherwise would've been 'cause they were essentially raised in the outermost layer of hell (think VERY questionable morals, moves like uncanny valley characters, where Satan tears and rips beings apart in his fits of rage, they don't understand MC's sense of right and wrong). I wonder how Lucifer and his brother's dynamics would have been with each other, with Diavolo and Barbs growing up. Would Belphie still have hated Diavolo for his absolute authority? Would baby satan still have formed as a manifestation of Lucifer's wrath, again adding to his rage due to his circumstances?

Lilith based on mythology was described as the 'queen of demons'. If the story was somewhat compliant to that, imagine she fell into the Devildom after the whole 'fall-in-love-with-human shtick' and Diavolo fell in love/took pity on her, which the brothers didn't respect or understand at the time (why feel bad for someone who fell in love with a puny mortal?). The bitter parallels it would draw when they fall in love with MC years down the line.

Imagine that instead of just reincarnating her soul as a human, Dia REPLACED the soul of a human infant with hers (again, being very morally dubious). Maybe he saw it as an interesting experiment of sorts, to see if it would have any effect her human off-springs. He purposely kept an eye on her descendants (hence, mc being brought into the DD). Cunning, manipulative and conspiring Diavolo (Soo-won type character) omgomg

I want the brothers to legitimately handle otherworldly, gory demonic entities (think of that monster from nocturne of nightmares), sort political Devildom affairs, kill/mess around with humans instead of just sitting around attending the demon-equivalent of highschool! They're eons old for crying out loud, why subject yourself to 1000's of years of the Academy??? If anything, their attendance at RAD should be a refresher course that happens for 5 - 10 years once or twice every century or so.

AKA Obey Me! but more Devildom-centric, where the characters got to actually deliver their role in Diavolo's government, where Diavolo had ulterior motives making the exchange program (perhaps to instigate an uprising, an all-out war to overthrow the demon king?). Where the other characters are actually fleshed out instead of just meaningless plot-devices (Barbatos with his powers, Monsolo, Lilith, and etc. all had so much potential)!

Sorry I wrote a lot, this is just everything I hoped OM! would be.

NO OMG I think about this sometimes too!! like I know why they didn't do it but still can't help but wish for more

demons are often depicted as everything but sweet and kind, which is what we see in the game. dia would not be this golden retriever type character (although I love that) he's supposed to be the next king, so he would be much more devious as for lack of a better word. god i wish they explored barb so much more. like why are we brushing over him like he's part of the wall?? he's so powerful it's insane. I'm glad solomon is getting more of a spotlight in nightbringer but I hope they use it to its full extent. i also wish they explored the general worldbuilding more and made it feel more real, like there's stuff outside the relationships mc has with the named characters

i absolutely love the lilith queen of demons thing, like it makes sense as to why it was mc in specific. of course they would bring back someone that important to them over and over again

another thing that feels totally ignored is that it's hell!! most people there are there for a reason! while personally don't know where the line should be drawn for what counts as being a sinner or not, for a fact i know that mc would 100% be meeting murders down there, like actually terrible people.

you put this entire thing so wonderfully so i hope you don't mind if I incorporate aspects of this into my obey me as horror piece! like don't get me wrong I love my silly little demons but realistically they would be anything but silly lol

[mllemaenad]

Having now listened to all of The Magnus Archives ... hm, yeah, I think they made it out all right in the end. And I don't just mean that in a soppy I-can-only-stand-happy-endings sort of way (although, it's been a crappy few months, and to be honest I wouldn't mind a happy ending), but because I think there's a really satisfying conclusion to John's character arc if he finally figures out how it all works.

Er. John? Jon? I have seen it spelled both ways, and now I am confused. And the character seems to be named after his creator, which is not making me less confused. But the transcript uses "John", so I will go with that.

John's core problem is that he is constantly trying to take control of his life and his choices, but is never able to do so because the narrative won't let him. He undoubtedly makes several rash decisions that the audience can guess won't end well, but even in cases where he sits down and attempts to make the best choice possible he ends up playing into the hands of his enemies, because they are able to tightly control the information to which he has access. Things that seem rational based on what he knows end up being terrible choices, because of how well curated "what he knows" happens to be.

There's a thing a lot of the characters do, where they describe the logic of their world as akin to dreams or nightmares:

SIMON No, no, no, you’re right, of course. The thing you have to remember is that no one actually knows how these things work – not really. There’s always been plenty of theories, of course, and over a century or two you do start to get an intuitive feel for it, but… there’s really no hard-and-fast rules. The powers, or entities, or fears, or whatever you want to call them, are bound up in emotion. In feeling. How they exist, what they can do, how they interact with the world… it all makes about as much logical sense as a nightmare. [MARTIN INHALES] Which is to say, there is a certain sort of emotional logic to it all: things feel like they flow together in a way that makes sense, but if you try to stop and do the maths, then it all comes apart. At least, in my experience. – Simon Fairchild, doing the exposition for characters and audience alike. Big Picture

But, as Simon points out, the trouble is that none of them really understand what they're talking about. Few people in this world seem to dedicate actual time to understanding it – most are either seduced or destroyed (or some weird combination of the two) by the power that comes with worship and terror.

So they get close, but they miss the point: it's not dream logic, it's story logic. There's a reasonable amount of crossover, of course: both deal in emotion and theme and imagery. We'll forgive a plot hole or continuity error in a story if the narrative feels right, and nobody is surprised if their dreams don't have coherent worldbuilding in them. But stories have purpose in them in a way that dreams do not. They're trying to say something that you need to think about. You can't really tell somebody about a dream without imposing narrative logic on it that wasn't necessarily there when you dreamt it, and most dreams simply fade away into nothingness once you've had them. But a narrative is shaped, and if it's good it can live virtually forever. You can't control a dream, but you can and should control a narrative.

That's the thing John finally works out.

I mean - of course it's got story logic, right? It's a story. It's a piece of fiction, so it's got themes and tropes and character foils and recurring imagery and all that jazz. But beyond that, it is a story made up of a patchwork of other stories: most of the episodes contain a little self-contained supernatural story with its own protagonist and its own ending; over the top of that lie a series of recurring characters who pop up across multiple episodes, and whose personal stories you can learn, and who will intersect with each other to build a historical narrative that explains how we got here; and on top of that are the characters who live closest to the present – John and whichever assistants are still alive at any given moment – and their struggle to deal with all this.

It's that patchwork that makes up the net in which John is caught for most of the series: because he is only able to follow the narrative, he is not able to control it. Yes, he is directly manipulated by actual characters in the story – most prominently by Jonah Magnus and Annabelle Cane – but it is mostly the story itself that keeps him locked in place.

In most cases, there is nothing whatsoever he can do about the various events that take place in the story. He's almost always reading about something that happened anywhere between years and centuries prior. Even when he's acquired enough information to understand what's happening in these stories he can't do a single damn thing for the characters. They either made it out on their own or they didn't.

Occasionally the story moves closer to the present, usually at season end but in a few other places as well, but even then he is still following behind the narrative. The story isn't about him, but his predecessor: "Why was Gertrude Robinson murdered? What did she know?" He is following the story of a dead woman. Her story is well and truly over, but he cannot catch up to the end of it.

Because the thing about the Archivist is that – well, it’s a bit of a misnomer. It might, perhaps, be better named: The Archive. Because you do not administer and preserve the records of fear, John. You are a record of fear, both in mind as you walk the shuddering record of each statement, and in body as the Powers each leave their mark upon you. You are a living chronicle of terror. – Technically John speaking, but in practice Jonah Magnus monologuing about his evil plan. The Eye Opens

His whole purpose in the story is to read (or on a few notable occasions hear) something bizarre, express a general "What the actual fuck was that?" and move on, without any ability to act on what he has learned.

But there is logic to their world. Season five – well, technically the finale of season four – turns the implicit into the explicit.

It does tickle me, that in this world of would-be occult dynasties and ageless monsters, the Chosen One is simply that – someone I chose. It’s not in your blood, or your soul, or your destiny. It’s just in your own, rotten luck. – More of Jonah Magnus being smug. He does go on a bit. The Eye Opens

The thing is, though: you aren't a Chosen One unless you're in a story. That's a narrative archetype. Even if you attempt to impose the idea on a historical event, you're only doing so retroactively by slotting a person into a particular narrative framework that probably does not match reality. It's unsurprising that Magnus had to build his horrifying fantasy world out of the trappings of a quest narrative: his whole power base is built out of collected stories. But if that's the world you make, you end up with a very specific set of rules.

Consequently, John spends much of the season explaining why they have to follow the rules of a quest narrative in order to actually go anywhere.

ARCHIVIST (heh) You see that tower, way off in the distance? MARTIN (don’t like where this is going) Yeah. (beat, sigh) It’s watching us, isn’t it? ARCHIVIST The Panopticon and the Institute. Merged into something entirely new. MARTIN (splutter-scoff) Wai– what? No, there’s, there’s no way we can see it from here. We – We must still be a hundred miles from the border, never mind London! ARCHIVIST You could see that tower from anywhere on Earth. And it can see you. And if you walk towards it, eventually you’ll get there. But you have to go through everything in between. [Pause.] MARTIN (bright) You’re being ominous again. ARCHIVIST (ah!) Sorry. Sorry. MARTIN What do you mean ‘everything?’ What’s out here? [The Archivist inhales. As he does so, there’s a sort of creaking – and then we hear the weakest strains of bagpipes beginning to fade through.] ARCHIVIST Nightmares. Come on, that trench is our first. – John, taking a turn at the exposition. In the Trenches

Dreams don't work that way – or at least they don't have to. Dreams can drop you into any situation and pull you out of it again with neither logic nor explanation. But if you are heading to a dark tower to confront an evil wizard ... well, then, everybody knows that you have a lot of walking to do. That you must meet friends and foes along the way and fight smaller battles before you fight the big one. It's how it goes.

It's even more explicit – almost painfully so – when dealing directly with character development.

ARCHIVIST Alright. [MORE WALKING] Next one’s through here. BASIRA Next one? ARCHIVIST Her latest victim. [DOOR IS WRENCHED OPEN WITH A METALLIC CREAK] [MARTIN REELS, SOUNDS OF FLIES BUZZING] Recognise her. BASIRA … No… I don’t think I do. ARCHIVIST That wasn’t a question. It was an instruction. We can’t move on until you do. MARTIN John, what are you getting at? ARCHIVIST This isn’t just a journey through spaces. – Basira preferring not to do introspection in a literal hellscape, but John has worked out the narrative rules so it's confront-your-past day in the apocalypse. The Processing Line

John is not wildly unusual in being a specific person's Chosen One: you can make the word "destiny" do a lot of work, and the poor bastard in the role is as often as not the favourite of a god, or the only child of a king, or the last of something bearing the duty of a larger group.

He is somewhat more unusual in being two people's Chosen One, and somewhat moreso again by being broadly opposed to the thing he was chosen to do. But the core thing is that this is a known role; it's a structure you can work with. Eventually. When you're in a position to do so.

Martin figured it out a season earlier.

MARTIN It’s not him! It’s not anybody. It’s just me. Always has been. I… When I first came to you, I thought I had lost everything. John was dead, my mother was dead, the job I had put everything into trapped me into spreading evil and I… I really didn’t care what happened to me. I told myself I was trying to protect the others, but… honestly we didn’t even like each other. Maybe I just thought joining up with you would be a good way to get killed. And then… John came back, and… and suddenly I had a reason I had to keep your attention on me. Make you feel in control so you didn’t take it out on him. And if that meant drifting further away, so what? I’d already grieved for him. And if it meant now saving him, it was worth it. When you started talking about the Extinction, though… you had me actually, then, for a while. But then – (laughs sardonically) then, you tried to make me the hero. Tried to sell me on the idea that I was the only one who could stop it. And that I’ve never sat right with me. I mean, I mean, look – look at me, I’m not exactly a – a chosen one. But by then I was in too deep. So I played along. Waited to see what your end game was, and here we are. Funny. Looks like I was right the first time. It’s probably still a good way to get killed? – Martin explaining that he was just stringing the villains along. Panopticon

The thing is, he is Peter Lukas's Chosen One. The reasoning behind it is cruel, but I can think of a few stories about gods making bets on what humans will do. But he works out what kind of story they're trying to tell him, and turns it to his advantage.

This is a good one. Everybody knows this one: one of the characters is betraying the others and working with the villains. It isn't because he wants to; it's because his hand has been forced. But it's a trap. It will get him killed. It will get his friends killed. The villains are lying to him about what they mean to do and how far they mean to make him go. The audience knows this, but the characters just keep digging their holes deeper and deeper ... until the sudden reveal that it was a con all along. The "traitor" never intended to turn on his friends. It was part of the plan. It's a classic. It's basically the plot of The Sting. Who wouldn't want a turn at being Robert Redford?

And it works. Martin gets everything he wants out of that ploy: Lukas is destroyed, "Elias" is unmasked as Jonah Magnus, John makes good on his earlier commitment to run away with him, and he skips the eye gouging. You can't fault his results. The problem is, Martin is a secondary character. He doesn't quite have the narrative weight to resolve the primary conflict. That plot revolves around him but the plot does not, so in the longer term, things continue to get worse.

But he does prove it can be done. If you recognise what kind of story you are in, and the different ways that kind of story can go, you can grab on a narrative thread and steer it in a direction that works for you.

ANNABELLE We found the one we believed most likely to bring about their manifestation. We marked him young, guided his path as best we could. And then, we took his voice. ARCHIVIST No… ANNABELLE His, and those he walked with. We inscribed them on shining strands of word and meaning, and used them to weave a web which cast itself out through the gate and beyond our universe. So that when the Fears heard that voice, and came in their terrible glory, they might then travel out along it. Or be dragged. BASIRA Is she talking about the tapes? ARCHIVIST Yes. – In which Annabelle explains why there are tape recorders everywhere. Connected

You can say voice or tapes, but that's missing the point: it's stories that will carry these beings out of the world. Two hundred odd narratives about godlike beings with insatiable hunger and Lovecraftian pretensions who can travel to other worlds when the denizens of those places hear the tales. That has its own uncomfortable implications, sure, but if you've been paying attention you know something else about those stories:

ARCHIVIST Statement ends. (sigh) One thing that always strikes me when I read statements like this is… the bias of survivorship. With one or two notable exceptions, the only statements the Institute receives are those where the witness has successfully escaped whatever terrible place or being has marked them for a victim. I wonder how many don’t make it out. How many of those shapes in the water were once just like Mr. Shakya. – John is being gloomy, but he has hit upon an important point. Submerged

They are largely stories in which humans beat the monsters. They are stories about how to survive. You can do a horror story with a catastrophic ending, of course. It can have a great impact. But probably not two hundred of them in a row. That would be hard going on the listener: another week, another corpse. So these are largely hopeful stories – with those noted exceptions, of course.

I've seen the memes: I know Joshua Gillespie, who beat a coffin that wanted to consume him with a bowl of ice, is a favourite. Of course he is: that's genius. Or Dylan Anderson, who just ... covered a homicidal pig in concrete. Characters like Gerard Keay and Adelard Dekker are attractive because when they arrive on the scene, the supernatural becomes no more than another problem to be solved with just the right application of human ingenuity (and Dekker, notably, is probably the source for the concrete trick – you cannot fault results).

There are two possible threads to pull on here: you can pull on the thread of supernatural horror, or the thread of human resourcefulness in the face of adversity.

SASHA Why record it? ARCHIVIST What? SASHA Before, in the office. It, it was stupid going for the tape recorder like that, and then when you dropped it out there – ARCHIVIST I said I was sorry. If I’d known Martin had another one stashed in here, I never would have… SASHA No, it’s, it’s fine, just… I just don’t understand. I thought you hated the damn thing. You’re always going on about it. ARCHIVIST I do! I did. I just… I don’t want to become a mystery. I refuse to become another goddamn mystery. SASHA What? ARCHIVIST Look, even if you ignore the walking soil-sack out there, and the fact that we are probably minutes from death, there is still so much more happening here. MARTIN I’m not sure we can really ignore the – ARCHIVIST Every real statement just leads… deeper into something I don’t even know the shape of yet. And to top it all, I still don’t know what happened to Gertrude. Officially she’s still missing, but Elias is no help and the police were pretty clear that the wait to call her dead is just a formality. If I die, wormfood or… something else, whatever, I’m going to make damn sure the same doesn’t happen to me. Whoever takes over from me is going to know exactly what happened. – John, making bad tape-recorder related decisions. Infestation

And there is mystery. That is another thread you can pull on. Because in the end, Gertrude wasn't a mystery at all. Her activities, her personality, her associates, her strengths and her weaknesses are all pretty well documented. She's dead on the floor with three bullets in her. She's the reason they're in this mess, because she did the thinking Jonah Magnus could not and set him on his path. She would hate that with every fibre of her being – but it is known. What you know about her is that she failed, and she died.

John is wrong, in the above, because of course he is. He doesn't know anything yet, except that his workplace is probably evil and currently full of worms. He hasn't worked out the story logic, yet, and he doesn't yet see the difference between knowing and understanding.

Mystery. What if? That's a powerful plot thread you can pull on, if you're in the right place and you are desperate enough.

There's what he can't do, in the end. He can't trap the weird fear entities in the world and starve them to death. Annabelle knew exactly what buttons to push to get him heading in that direction, sure, but it was never going to work. I don't even mean the business with the lighter, although that's the practical way this was set up. I mean this is a five-season series in which the temples of these dark gods are repeatedly destroyed by fire, book burning is a recurring motif, and "What if we made it explode?" is always a solid cross-generation Team Archives plan. For heaven's sake – The Magnus Institute has basically the same fatal flaw as The Death Star. We're blowing it up in the finale. We just are. It's that kind of story. It doesn't matter what he wants. There was never anything there for John to pull on.

But this?

ARCHIVIST Do it! The knife’s just there. Let them go. MARTIN [Tearful] I’m not going to kill you! ARCHIVIST Cut the tether. Send them away. Maybe we both die. Probably. But maybe not. Maybe, maybe everything works out, and we end up somewhere else. MARTIN Together? ARCHIVIST One way or another. Together. – Absolute last-minute planning, because that's how they do things. Last Words

It can seem to come out of nowhere, unless you've been watching him put it together. His world runs on narrative logic. He is the Chosen One atop a burning tower, on a terrible quest. He's faltered a bit, at the last minute, because if you don't shake hands with Frodo Baggins on the way past you are not respecting your ancestors. He's aware of most of this because he's spent most of the season tiredly explaining to his travelling companions that, yes, the journey is a damn metaphor. He is backed by dozens of stories where people escaped at the last by determination, or connecting with their loved ones, or just ... not being all that interested in worshipping dark gods.

Magnus is dead. The entities are packing their bags and running for the exit. There is no one left to care what he does next – except Martin, who would also like a way out of this mess. He has spent years struggling to understand what kind of story he's in and what his role is supposed to be, but now he gets it and is finally, finally the person in the room with a bit of power.

He does not say "Maybe the girls will dig us out of the rubble and we can go home and pretend this never happened". That would be the best possible result for them, of course, but it wouldn't work. No one would believe it. But what he can do is follow the example of all the people that came before because, crucially, "Fuck it, I am not dying today because I don't want to" and "Look, this is the power of love and I am holding on to it in the face of the worst crap I have ever seen" really are the strategies that work. And now he's in the one moment of the story where there is no one else's story left to precede him. This is the only moment in the whole series where the story is really his, and he can decide what happens next.

And what happens next is a question. The question is "What happens next?" It is a thing that is ongoing, rather than a thing that has ended.

I've no doubt he created more problems for himself, and for Martin. You grab that narrative thread and you are literally asking for them: even the kindest of stories won't give you a "happily ever after" until you have solved The Problems. You would only pull that one if you were desperate, but under the circumstances it was probably warranted.

But maybe, this time, they can run ahead of the narrative instead of behind. That makes all the difference.

[lazuliquetzal]

thanks @bobafett for the tag i love tag games SO much

How many works do you have on AO3? 38! Huh! I don't know what I expected? (If you wanna be exact, it's actually 41 because I have 3 joke fics posted anonymously.)

What’s your total AO3 word count? 653,468

What fandoms do you write for? Whatever I'm into at the moment? Right now it's God of War. Earlier it was Linked Universe. Before that it was Daiya no Ace. But I'm not particularly loyal, it's literally just whatever idea that manages to stick.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Reflection -- a classic AA Batteries -- my beloved Dawn of the Fourth -- *evil cackling* ain't no rest for the wicked -- oh my god do people still click on this Denial and Deterioration -- I SWEAR I'M STILL WORKING ON IT I ACTUALLY ADDED TO THE DOC LIKE 3 DAYS AGO

Do you respond to comments? I try to! I try to catch every comment, but if a fic is on the older side and the comment isn't super long, I sometimes don't reply. Not because I don't like the comment (i love all comments i love you all) but because if a fic is not fresh in my brain I don't have much to say

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? DO NOT READ IT, but it's the shadows we cast. I was fifteen. I'm not linking it on here. It's still on my AO3 because I'm not a coward, but I'm also not very brave, so like, don't read my high school fic, you've been warned.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Candid? That one is SUPER fluffy, which is not normally my style, but you know, sometimes you just gotta flex your fluff muscles,

Do you get hate on fics? Eh, not really. I've gotten a few negative comments, but mostly from FFN, and I honestly don't even count those lol.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? No. I genuinely wouldn't even know where to begin.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Nah, crossovers aren't my thing.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I have seen a fic that was very blatantly referencing one of mine, but I don't really consider that stealing.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Does the absolutely insane crack fic written on the tail end of a 29-hour voice call count?

What’s your all time favorite ship? Hmm. I read a lot of Merthur, but that's mostly because the Merlin fandom tends to be really good, and therefore there's a lot of good Merthur (although I do like Merthur a lot, super Shakespearean, only valid soulmate pairing I've ever seen).

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? If I abandon a fic, I'm going to make an announcement. If I haven't officially abandoned it, it's still fair game. That said, Replication is like, on the lowest of low priorities.

What are your writing strengths? It comes with absorbing plot structure into your personality, but yeah, I'm a kick ass plotter. Also comedy. That also comes with the plot structure.

What are your writing weaknesses? Atmosphere/description. Worldbuilding. Also to a lesser extent, character voice -- I feel like I eventually default to everyone just sounding like me

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Depends on context, but it's always through the lens of "how does this effect the experience for the reader?"

First fandom you wrote for? I wrote a Star Wars fanfic when I was like, 9. First fanfiction on PURPOSE was for PJO.

Favorite fic you’ve written? I think the best thing I've written so far is DotF, but my favorite is probably The Disappearance of Narumiya Mei. WHICH I'M ALSO STILL WORKING ON, life just got REALLY WEIRD and I had to take a step back from it RIP

Tagging @tavina-writes, @ellie-tarts, @lieutenantbiscute, @aoryuucchi, @bytebun, @mimbotomy (no pressure if you don't want to!) and of course anyone who feels like doing this

[rosetyler42]

Hi! I want to ask what you like about Martha Dracula.

Personally, I hate how she had no purpose other than die to make Drac sad. We didnt see any of her personality so her death feels far less impactful than say, Bambis mom, and I hate the concept of zing/love at first sight trope" because the idea you will immediately know who you are supposed to be with forever based on immediate attraction sends a harmful message to kids and erases aromatic and polyamorous people and ppl who break off romantic relationships but are happier off that way.

I do wish we got to know more about Martha beyond the tragedy of her death and her book about Mavis finding her own zing, but I can kinda understand it as...the story's more about Drac, Johnny and Mavis and there were alot of other things to focus on. We do have SOME window into her personality and relationship with Drac: Mavis is implied to be similar to her and be the peice of Martha he has left, part of the reason he's so protective of her (With all the talk of Ericka being Martha's reincarnation - basically this universe's Mina to compare to other Dracula adaptations, I kind of think MAVIS is actually closer to that role. At least symbolically, although there are other similarities after having read Dracula Daily.) We hear that Martha is clearly the more bold of the two (similarly to Johnny and Mavis.) There's the legend of her and Drac's love story and family in the "Lady Lubov" legend, Drac's been clearly sitting Shiva for over a century, Her book about zings and how they met when she was Mavis' age, And it's implied Drac and Martha loved making music together as Drac mentions he hasn't sung in public since Martha passed. But as much as I do love the things we got, I wish we'd gotten to see more of Martha, seen her and Drac together and their (Less amorous) Gomez and Morticia type dynamic. Now, there IS a deleted scene on the HT bluray that shows Drac and Martha meeting, their courtship, and them having Mavis which gives more of a glimpse at Drac and Martha together which you may be interested in seeing if you haven't already. Matter of fact, Martha's reveal of her pregnant belly as a bat CLEARLY got reused in HT2 in Mavis' reveal of her own pregnancy.

As for the whole zing business...Yes, like all "Love at first sight" and Soulmate stuff, it does spread some harmful ideas, particularly for aro and ace people (like myself!) My mother had similar issues with it herself when we first watched it (though I don't think she knew about aro identities) Though I can kind of understand why it exists. Social interaction, particularly dating, can be a confusing, difficult, and potentially painful process. And I guess it's nice to imagine that you COULD just know the person you're meant to be with without having to go through all the mess. In the case of the HT films, it's also supposed to be a gothic fairytale Romeo and Juliet kind of story, which Love at first sight and soulmates are common tropes in that. Not to mention the trying to juggle a love story plot, a buddy film, family antics, gags, worldbuilding, (and in HT3, the whole "Monster Genocide" business) doesn't exactly lend itself to slow burns. The zing is a sweet idea, even if it doesn't necessarily work that way in real life.

This got long as I have some feelings about anatonormativity + HT , so here's a read more:

To a certain extent, that's part of what I like about HT3: It challenges the "A Zing only happens once in your life" idea by having Drac find love again. And having him DEAL WITH the "You only zing once" being wrong. Alot of people hated that. Some seek to think him falling for Ericka lessens what he had with Martha or means that he's forgotten about her. That he's cheating on Martha somehow. Some dunked on Ericka saying she was "weird" and "ugly", saying Martha was prettier. Some tried to find explanations like Ericka being Martha's reincarnation. But to me...I mean, we tend to think of love as being "The One," yet people fall in love again and remarry all the time. There doesn't HAVE to be a reason Drac zinged twice. And it resolves an issue the first movie had ABOUT "If a zing only happens once, what about people who fall in love and remarry?" Making it at least a BIT less amatonormative in my opinion. Of course, I'm something of an expert at bending rules and finding less amatonormative interpretations, and they never explicitly state EVERYONE has a zing.

Honestly in some ways the HT films are both amatonormative and anti-amatonormative. You have the whole zing/soulmate business, Drac teasing Dennis about Winnie, the guys setting Drac up on dates despite him saying he's not interested, and the whole "late bloomer" conversion therapy business. Most characters in the show have a partner except the mummy (who's shown dating), Vlad (who's showing off for the witches and talks about Nefrititi) and Blobby (who's more comic relief.)

On the OTHER hand, You not only have a 3 generational Non-nuclear family (with a stepmom, yet!) Living together in the same building in close proximity to eachother, but also a bunch of friends that are basically considered family, and at no point in the franchise does the romantic relationship get put higher than the familial or platonic ones. Heck, half the franchise I'd about the familial relationships. And even in the ones about romance, the familial relationships are a big part of those too. (There's also quite a bit if gray-rose coding with Drac himself looking back at the series - including the fact the man only experienced confirmed romantic attraction TWICE that we know of despite how much of a charmer he's shown to be. He can flirt until he's actually interested, then he can't function around them. There's also possible internalized aphobia that does get touched on, particularly in HT2 with him trying to make Dennis a vampire but then turning around and saving him from Vlad's "scare the fangs" plan and ultimately coming to accept Dennis as he is - which there's parallels between Dennis and his younger self drawn there.) I'll also point out that despite the "love and family over racism, we're all basically the same" message, love isn't treated as what makes one "human" in the series. If ANYTHING, it's bravery and willingness to take risk. Particularly to have fun OR protect others.

So yeah, kind of mixed feelings there as an aroace fan.

PS: I'll warn you about the HT3 junior novelization, there's a scene of VH dismissing Love as if it means nothing to him which...more aphobic than the scene in the film was. Particularly since Van Helsing gives off aroace vibes himself.

[fountainpenguin]

Recent 'Fic Progress 'n Stuff

I'm in a very busy period of my life right now, so updates may become sporadic, but here's some news I have for now!

Fandoms discussed: MCYT, Total Drama, WordGirl, Fairly OddParents

MCYT - Typically updates Tuesdays

- Aiming to post something for the Pixels Imperfect series on Tuesday, but don't be alarmed if it doesn't happen.

-> I'm in this weird zone where my chapter for Herobrine's Guide to the Between Dimension is complete except for the map I'm almost done with, but I'm having some artist block getting the map where I want it, so... I might hold off a bit until I'm happy with it. It's not bad, but I'm struggling with clean-up and labels.

-> Really good progress on my next Dog's Life chapter. In a weird zone of hesitating over whether I'm going too far with X or Y. Needs more attention, but I'm really happy with what I have so far. Very exciting! I did some doodles that I'll post under the cut :)

-> High likelihood of skipping this next Tuesday of posting, which gives time to let Collector's Fee sink in anyway (Plus I did a double update for Dog's Life at the start of August for its anniversary and that was probably too much for me), but we should be back the week after :)

- Herobrine's Guide will go on hiatus after Chapter 14 (the next chapter to post is Chapter 11) because that's where the buffer runs out. At that point, we've finished all world lore (except the Hels stuff that goes in the Additional Info final chapter). That's where we enter the bestiary, and they're huge chapters I want to ensure are consistent all the way through. So... I need to finish all the bestiary chapters before posting the first one :'D. A lot of work is done, but a lot still left to do!

-> Since I've been posting Herobrine's Guide during Dog's Life's intermission, we just won't have Tuesday updates for a bit. I think I'll switch to finishing The Candles We Light (and Should Regret) & Top 10 Hanahaki Life Hacks (#8 Will Shock You), which I started during Guess the Author.

-> Comparatively, they're shorter projects and it would be nice to finish them instead of leaving them hanging. That should work well, but we may have a period of no Tuesday updates during this adjustment period.

- Dog's Life is still on soft hiatus through to January or February 2025. It's between Sessions 2 and 3 right now and that hasn't changed. At this time, it posts once a month (although as mentioned, there may be a slight delay in the next chapter, but we had a double update on August 1st, so no surprise :))

-> When Dog's Life resumes, it will most likely be once every two weeks instead of every week. I really enjoyed posting weekly, but I have to admit it's A Lot. I was able to do that when hyperfixating on it as the only fandom I was posting consistently for, but I'd like to roll it back for 2025. Considering I post chapters above 10k words, I think it's fair; weekly updates was a lot. Final decision will be made when we actually reach 2025!

- We know Grian's working on Life Series Season 6 and that he said it would be a while. When that drops, I expect to do liveblogs and maybe one-shots depending on inspiration.

Total Drama - Currently updates Wednesdays and Saturdays

Life of a Loser is getting close to its end! Once it's done, we'll switch to posting one TD 'fic a week (probably) until they're all posted. Leaning towards posting on Wednesdays or Thursdays. Subject to change.

You can subscribe to the Riddle's Drama AO3 series if you want those emails. If you are only subscribed to Life of a Loser but you want to continue seeing more of my TD work, now is a good time to subscribe to the series, as basically everything from here is one-shots.

Reminder: I wrote these works between 2013 and 2016. I'm moving them to AO3 for archive purposes. You can leave comments or send me Asks if you want to chat about these works or their worldbuilding, but my knowledge of the show ends after Ridonculous Race; I didn't watch Total Dramarama and I don't know anything that came after it.

My Total Drama works will continue posting for the rest of 2024 and into 2025. I don't anticipate writing more works for this series, although if I had infinite time, I'd be interested in finishing the ones I started and left unfinished (because Leonard, my beloved).

WordGirl - On hiatus

Still on hiatus for now! Was hoping I'd be able to post more for it before the end of 2024, but that was pushed back by a very busy summer, which led to me not getting the Frayed Knots buffer where I wanted, and Frayed Knots has priority.

These works are not discontinued (I've been working on Factor It In since 2018 and I'm not dropping it now, lol). They're just on break, because I'd prefer leaving them on break and returning with a buffer over random updates.

I do have some one-shot drafts I've been sitting on, and I might clean and post those, but my attention's pretty divided between IRL, MCYT 'fics, and FOP right now, so this isn't super likely.

Factor It In has a serious vibe, as it's a realistic exploration of superhero life and biology, and there's also, like... no death or serious injury in it. I'm currently interested in things that are either wackier or angstier, but I look forward to coming back to it when I'm ready to be serious again. I genuinely like these 'fics a lot, including my WIPs, but it's an exciting time for FOP fandom right now and I want to enjoy it :)

If you want updates for my WordGirl 'fics, you can subscribe to Heroes' Journey or 28 Million Degrees. And you can always send me Asks if you want to!

Fairly OddParents - AO3 updates on Fridays, plus I've been posting on the blog any day of the week

- New cover arts for Frayed Knots and Origin of the Pixies are done! Their new announcement posts will go up soon, as I wanted to get all the 130 arc covers done first (for reverse tag scrolling purposes).

I did these two first and I think they're my favorites <3 These will replace their existing covers in their respective 'fics, and these are the posts that will be linked to when discussing these projects (Ex: I need to clean my FOP 'fics page and these will go there).

Reblogs always appreciated for cover / announcement posts, but no pressure! These are messy 'fics and not to everyone's tastes.

- I've committed to the name City Lights AU for my New Wish works. I'm REALLY excited for the "arranged marriage & not in love but we're going along with it anyway because this is what we do as upper class kids" trope I've set myself up with... for reasons...

- The AU guide is complete and will be posted after I finish Hadley's full sideblog profile, as I want her to be linked on it.

- I... emotionally cannot post Hadley's profile until I clean the freakin' blog, because I HATE what the update years ago did to bullet points, so I'll see if I can make some time for the sideblog. I have to go back and change them all to indents with dashes, like I've been doing in my posts over here... and I still have to fix all the broken masterpost links (which broke during the same Tumblr update from years ago). Gonna be a pain, but...... :'D The things we do for love.

- I went through my drafts and it looks like I do have some lore and reference posts that can be cleaned and posted for the sideblog, which would be nice; I have more to work with than I thought.

I can also do things like post the Fairy School Schedule on the sideblog instead of on a Google Doc. Up until now, it was relying on the doc for color coding (for ease of reading), but now we have color-coded posts, so it can go on the blog directly. - Also ?? it turns out I never actually compiled my multiple posts on Fairy aging into a single post, and thus the detailed info never made it on the sideblog. -> I compiled an age chapter for today's "So, You're Studying the Cloudlands..." update (i.e. I'd had the development charts there as placeholders since the start, but I really wanted actual info too) and that will become a sideblog post in the future.

- Somewhere in the depths of my literal 2,400 drafts on main blog is some sideblog stuff that I saved as drafts here instead of there, and one day... I will find it. But we'll talk about that again after my A New Wish liveblog is done.

I'm also going to change the sideblog's mentions of Riddleverse Classic to Cloudlands AU, now that it has a real name. Just... finally coming back and power washing everything before I risk posting anything new that attracts new eyes while the blog is messy, haha.

Technically the term Riddleverse 'fics covers all my AUs, so some mentions will stay (like things that say "contains Riddleverse spoilers"). However, this should make things more clear.

I had a lot of self-censorship internalization and general nerves when I was working on the sideblog back in the day, but I'm a lot more "cringe and free and I'm gonna make it everyone's problem" now than I was a few years ago, so it'll be nice to move on from those memories and learn to enjoy the blog again.

- I also feel happier with my art and writing styles now compared to where I was in recent years. Looking forward to blowing the dust off and polishing stuff nicely! I'm not going to try to keep future profile arts consistent with the old arts, so it'll be what it'll be.

Heavily leaning towards redesigning my adult Chloe, as I was never that attached to her, and I want to slightly tweak my Timmy and Cosmo to better fit my current art style. Debating whether to add Anti-Wanda's scars. Also need to do a scar ref for H.P. since he has a huge one on his cheek I rarely draw because I always seem to draw him facing the other way, sdklj... Someday...

- I had a lot of IRL stuff happen in recent years that was similar to things happening in my FOP 'fics and I wasn't able to truly enjoy them for a while. A New Wish brought back a lot of my excitement for the series and I feel like I'm healing a lot in regards to being able to enjoy FOP :)

I'm excited to share the arc guide and start outlining 'fics.

- As previously mentioned, I've cleaned the 130 Prompts summaries page so it's up to date with 2024 plans. Also, I've finished all the arc guides and made a new cover image for the project!

- I'd like to kick off Arc 3 of the Prompts with a piece about Dale shortly after "Nectar of the Odds" - "#96 - You Deserve It." The piece after that will loop back to the "Am I adopted?" drama Poof went through in Arc 2, and it'll be fun! I'm really excited :)

- Frayed Knots is high priority, but it's also a massive project requiring lots of brain power, so it'll be nice to sprinkle lighter one-shots in between.

- Great progress on Frayed Knots! Things are really coming together. Might post one chapter soon, but the next few need more attention. Still hoping to build a proper buffer, but it's a slow process.

-> I... think I'm going to take the plunge and commit to dropdown chapter warnings for Origin and Knots, the way I do for my MCYT multi-chapters :'D Will this be exhausting and require a lot of rereading? Yeah, but it makes me feel less self-conscious (and it helps me quickly check each chapter to confirm I know what's in it). So... That'll be going on in the background, but expect it to take a while. It will not be fast.

-> Next chapter gets a standalone E-rated version, like we did for "Cageflight" back in the day. As previously stated, Frayed Knots maintains it's T and/or mild M rating despite now being classified as Not Rated; E-rated content will always be posted separately. And this one's pretty intense, so prepare emotionally before reading.

/whispers loudly - It's the big "raised in a culture where sex is done for ceremony" vs. "longing for passion and ready to ask for it" clash we've been waiting for... I finally am happy with my blocks for this scene. Just pulling it all together. It feels SO FUN to finally write the ceremonial bits of their culture as a proper ceremony explored onscreen. It's always been hypothetical... sdfljksdflkj...

This chapter is called "House of Cards." The standalone will be titled the same, and these are the AO3 series that will get the email notification:

Rainbow Train -> Not in the 130 Prompts

Red Train -> Suggestive / explicit

Orange Train -> High fantasy (Deep-dive into Anti-Fairy culture)

Subscribe or ignore at your preference, but there's your heads up. And obligatory reminder that this is a 'fic about a protagonist who has hypersexuality and we explore that more now that he's an adult than in the earlier chapters when he was younger.

Anti-Cosmo being hypersexual, bipolar, pan, AND ace, AND carrying trauma from a past life, and VERY confused about attraction, you will always be famous to me <3

As we know, Origin of the Pixies is all the way up to the war chapters, so it's on hiatus until Knots catches up. From there, we'll alternate between H.P. and Anti-Cosmo POVs through the war! Very exciting.

Knots still has to get Anti-Cosmo through his first meeting with Cosmo (who still has to hit Wanda with his car in line with "Cosmonopoly"), then through godparenting schooling & into a high rank in Anti-Fairy World (in line with his appearance in the truce flashback of "Balance of Flour"), but we're getting close!!

Also as previously stated, I might get around to posting some sensual / sexual stuff for FOP that I wrote as character studies and warm-ups back in the day, but...

I cannot emphasize enough that these delve into really heavy topics like consent violations, setting up a plot about being underage and desperate that will later crash and burn, and sexual trauma, and they're not necessarily sexy or fun to read, so just... [obligatory I Write Trauma & Morally Gray Characters In 'Fics For The Show About Trauma & Morally Gray Characters reminder].

But I do think there's really interesting stuff in here in terms of character studies and I wouldn't mind having them available, if for no other reason than because I've lost them multiple times and would enjoy having a place to find them.

-> Those all go in Red Train and Rainbow Train. Again, subscribe or ignore at your preference. They are not part of the 130 Prompts (which are strictly G and T works).

-> These are certainly not necessary reads in order to "keep up with what's happening" to the characters. Anything you need to know for their plot arcs is in their G and T stories. This is just bonus stuff for people who're interested in... The Horrors.

That's all I have to say for now! Thanks for reading!

Doodles for the upcoming Dog's Life Chapter 41 and/or 42 depending on where I cut it

Mild spoilers depending on how good you are at deciphering these out of context:

[stingslikeabee]

meet the mun

1. what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have?

I always credit Melissa to a combo of three particular things: a) my personal interest and passion for the Japanese nightlife scene and its uniqueness; b) the movie 'Sucker Punch' (and particularly the character of Vera Gorski); and c) a post that once made the rounds when I first joined the FFVII rpc that wondered if the Turks didn't visit Wall Market for the chili fries or because the girls happened to have the best intel.

And then it was like something clicked inside - I sudden had this 'vision' and Melissa was born after some crafting as a brothel madame who had strong mama bear/caring and nurturing vibes and who had set herself in opposition to Corneo. The two alternatives in terms of earning people's loyalty (fear/love), a cold war of sorts, a lot of fun and layered dynamics to play with from a Wall Market perspective (such as trading intel, working as an informant, etc) and tying in to the game main events.

I always preferred to pick 'minor' muses or to craft characters that fill in spaces and make a world livelier - Melissa just felt right. I guess she works nicely because no one ever thought it was absurd to have Corneo as a nemesis - even with Remake revamping the HBI and making it something else, I decided to stick to my OG view and I was incredibly well-accepted! :)

2. is there anything you don't like to write?

I am very plot driven - and therefore threads that are just winging something and with no ulterior purpose just bore me and I lose muse fast. I like threads to be like book chapters, with an objective in mind - once that's done, I prefer wrapping it up and starting a new one. Smaller things I deal with in asks (although there is nothing preventing me from turning an ask into a thread when it sparks the good muse food).

So I tend to have a basic, over-arching plot line to follow and I enjoy discussing it offline with my partners so we can ask each other what we are thinking in terms of next steps, if a certain event would be interesting, etc. Believe me, this doesn't take away the surprise - I have been hit by unexpected feelings so many times, I love it.

In addition to that, I struggle with fighting/action sequences (I am just super bad at it), overly descriptive things (a room, someone's clothes, a landscape). It just feels like everything I have ever studied about English goes out of the window and my writing turns super dull, I hate it.

3. is there anything you really enjoy writing?

Emotional stuff - of any kind. I have found out that my preferred writing method is one that mixes a lot of thoughts, emotions and bits of lore together, so although a given reply may not give much in terms of objective actions, it will make room for further emotional or introspective discussions to happen. Characters working out their own feelings and perceptions in relation to certain things is a favorite of mine and my replies are frequently novella-like because Melissa thinks (and feels) so damn much.

I also do like setting the scene (as in giving context for a particular interaction) in starters or asks and expanding on lore. Worldbuilding is another favorite of mine and I often make extensive research into stuff that is only going to be briefly mentioned in a thread. Other than that, I'm also into sharing/including NPCs to make the flow of a thread feel more like a book and crafting these small cameos is super fun.

Oh - I do enjoy writing the usual shippy things (including those on the platonic side of things), particularly with Melissa who has such a strong preference for these themes when compared to other muses. However, without plotting (and since she's an OC), it all feels very soulless if I don't know how to get there in a way that makes sense or seems to be aligned with every character involved.

4. how do you come up with headcanons?

I get inspired by different types of media and a lot of real-life references. For general lore/worldbuilding, I tend to leverage from historical or current events whenever possible, all the while trying to tie these things with the existing canon; for muse-specific verses, anything can spark an idea: a quote in a movie, a song, a certain TV show.

5. do you write in silence or do you play music?

I always have music on - it tends to change depending on the specific verse or muse, but I generally have key songs to fall to while writing.

6. do you plan your replies or wing them?

I plan them as a rule (including asks and memes) - even if it's mostly in my brain and as a general line that I want to follow so I can go from A to B within a few paragraphs. It doesn't always work, though - sometimes I rework the entire idea, or get hijacked by the muse and directed to something else instead.

7. do you enjoy shipping?

Yes - I adore it, and building connections and creating ships is something I really like to do, from discussing it to dropping aesthetic posts to a customized tag. For Melissa in particular, they play a large and significant role as she is someone very much transformed and shaped by love and attachment to people, so my ships for her invariably become a part of much larger and complex verses.

This also goes for platonic dynamics - I like the concept of ships because they allow me to visualize a setting/plot much better and build around it with so many little additions that it feels alive and organic. I start creating timelines and events and it is just so satisfying to see it all coming together.

One thing I have learned with time is that, despite enjoying shipping, I like to be able to talk/connect to the other mun offline (talking about it and plotting is fun!) but also I try to be selective to the point of exclusivity. Because I am so plot-driven, I end up building so much around one variant/portrayal of a given character that I just become partial to it and blind to others - and because I don't want to project my dynamics onto duplicates, I'm multi-single-ship as a result (as in multiple ships, but just a single one per each muse - although exceptions sometimes apply).

8. what's your alias/name?

Mari, because that's how everyone calls me anywhere, anytime. I actually get confused/bothered if my full name is used because it sounds more serious and I just think it's either a stranger calling me or a boss/my mother being angry, haha.

9. age?

Old enough to remember the hype re. having a Blockbuster card around here; these where the premium video rental shops, haha (and nope, I never had one, I only wished I had).

10. birthday?

A late winter/early spring child! As a kid I thought I was born in spring and loved it, but then I realized spring is just later in September and that I was actually a winter kid by a few days, haha. But growing up, winter (winter as I know it, mind you) became my favorite season, so it was all good!

11. favorite color(s)?

Used to be black, silver and blue but these days I'm super fond of turquoise and shades of green? I seemingly cannot settle on a single one forever.

12. favorite song(s)?

I am contractually required to always reply with 'GLAY' and 'Yuuwaku' haha (this song is so damn important in my life). Here's an awesome video to introduce you to my favorite band.

13. last movie you watched?

'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' - one of my top 10 favorite movies, one of my top 5 movie openings, one of my top 3 Fincher movies.

14. last show you watched?

I just finished (re)watching 'Nana', only this time I made it to the last episode. I forgot how emotional this show made me feel and how epic the soundtrack is.

15. last song you listened to?

'Raise Your Glass' by P!nk, a courtesy of my spotify shuffling things haha.

16. favorite food?

I never know what to say here, there is just SO MUCH I love? I think pasta generally ranks very high, followed by pastel and pão de queijo. On the sweet side, I am obsessed with coconut and paçoca.

17. favorite season?

I might have spoiled it here, but it's winter - again, my winter. Brazilian winter. Tropical winter. The winter I have experienced in the Netherlands was depressing, dark and horrible where my nose bled, my skin cracked, I got shocked every time I touched anything metallic and I was just miserable; I love blue skies with sunshine and something below 20 degrees outside.

18. do you have a tumblr best friend?

I do! I mean, I could just say that I have a bunch of really awesome mutuals and I wouldn't be lying; or that I am closer to some than to others, and that would also be true. But it's no secret that @dojimakaichou is just on another level because Dawn and I talk every day to the point I feel weird if we don't; we don't just talk about roleplay, we talk about everything, we have weekly movie dates, we send each other gifts, we record videos for our families and we spent 10 days together last year with plans for more annual encounters. :) She's my bestie (and not just a 'tumblr' bestie) and honestly I only wish we lived closer but we make do!

tagged by: @bitterarcs cursed me (and I loved it!) tagging: anyone who wants to - this has gone around for some time now so I'm pretty sure I'd be tagging people again~

[tea-and-conspiracy]

One Ishgardian's Unsolicited Take on DT

...Which is a bit of a misleading title, I realize, because I did DT on Laelia first (cowboys and cyberpunk, I had to) and I'm only now doing it on Eliane, but this is my main XIV account here on tumblr, so whatever.

Spoilers and Opinions below the cut, obviously! If you aren't prepared for either, please don't read. :)

I guess I'll begin with the good.

Tural

I really liked the first half of this xpac. I enjoyed how casual and low-key it was, I loved how it was about engaging with people and getting to know them rather than racing to save the damn world again. By now they've established narratively that the WoL really needs a break and I'm glad they got to get it for a bit.

To this extent, the first half of the xpac felt like ARR in a good way. You were back to being a nobody (why would anyone in Tural know or care who you are?), so the most that was ever asked of you were random, easy tasks. You got to adventure. There was worldbuilding aplenty. Every once in a while you punted a threat that got too big for its britches. That's what ARR was too.

It's hilarious to me that the WoL was there to basically be advisor to Wuk Lamat, because our cute little fragment of that goblin Azem is simultaneously the best and WORST qualified for the position. And I also loved how we would just be pointed at whenever somebody went, "Or else what?" Or else her, obviously.

Tural is breathtaking and might be the team's best round of environmental design yet. I find Urqopacha especially striking, but as a whole it was so refreshing to be back in colorful and vibrant environments again. This includes the dungeons, especially the earlier dungeons.

The Characters

Wuk Lamat started to exhaust me and I still love her. She's sweet, she's genuine, and she's a nice departure from...well more or less every other character in this game. I have a weak spot for shonen protagonists and that's basically what she is. Hell yes, Power of Friendship.

It was hard not to be on Team Koana after the rescue scene. Boy is that cat hot when he's mad. His VA really nailed the subtleties of "guy-who-is-super-intelligent-and-thus-can't-People-as-a-result", and while I can't claim to be particularly bright, I identified with his awkwardness. :P

Otis. Nuff said.

I, uh. I'm definitely confused about the Bakool Ja Ja love but I think I get it. :P Internet Things <tm> aside, I do love a good heel-face turn, although the execution of his turn was, uh. Hm.

I guess it's time for the bad.

The Scions

Didn't need to be there. They didn't add a single thing to the story and were clearly shoehorned in for marketing purposes. A case can be made for Krile obviously, but outside of her, only G'raha made sense because of his specific experience and expertise.

"What about trusts?" A lot of early trust dungeons use random NPCs. We're out here to engage with other cultures, why can't I have a Hanu healer or a Yok Huy DPS? That makes more sense to me than forcing Alisaie to heal.

Mad we didn't get to duel Urianger and Thancred though. >:(

Erenville was done completely dirty and didn't catch a break this entire expansion. Thanks for coming with us as a guide, buddy! One of your childhood friends turned evil, your village is now destroyed, and your mom is dead! That's it, that's all you get. :)

The Story

Like I said. The first half of this story was nice. I really wish the rest of the xpac had stayed that way.

The problems began around about the time I hit Yak T'el. Unfortunately, there's some content there that started hitting a little too close to home for me, and yeah, it hurt me a lot. I don't think the devs realized what they were engaging with, which is kind of par for the course for this particular subject matter. :/

That aside, I agree with others that the Mamool Ja's story is a bit of a stretch in general. Part of the reason the Yok Huy and the Mamool Ja exist -- at least to my understanding -- is so that the game can explore what fundamentalist cultures look like without them being linked to any one culture in the real world, and I think that's a good thing. But the writers seemed to lose either their nerve or direction with the people of Mamook, and it undermined Bakool Ja Ja's character progression as a result.

We didn't spend much time in Shaaloani, and I had a feeling we wouldn't, even if I was hoping for more good ol' fashioned spaghetti western tropes. But more importantly...where tf are the Whaalaquee (sp?)? Erenville even mentions them but they're not physically present? Wasn't the whole conflict there due to ceruleum being dug on their sacred lands?

But anyway, let's just get to the elephant in the room: the latter half of the story. Why. Why did we have to do any of this? I don't understand Zarool Ja or anything about him. He had a loving family, he had everything, and instead turned into Varis 2.0 because he felt...inadequate? How do you go from, "Man, I'll never measure up to my dad" to, "I need to fucking take over the world?" Shit, even Varis was at least a little sympathetic in that he was hoping to free his people from Emet-Selch. I never bought into Zarool Ja and found him a really shallow and boring antagonist.

ALSO WHO DID HE FUCK? I'M AMAZED HE WOULD EVEN TAKE THE TIME TO FUCK. WHAT OTHER MAMOOL JA WAS EVEN UP THERE? FHEJAKRFGHJKE

This might be a weird take, but I'm tired of the leadup to the endgame zone being the people you previously helped out coming together to get you to a place you cannot reach. That was *incredibly* moving in Shadowbringers, because you spent the entire game getting to know these people personally. And a callback to it in Endwalker worked because this was the culmination of your adventures on Hydaelyn. But we had to do it with the train again and it just felt...lacking. Like, "here's the obligatory cooperation scene!" We don't have to keep rewriting Shadowbringers, guys. Also, these scenes work better when it involves individual characters; since Dawntrail was more about getting to know the cultures instead (and that's ok!), it unfortunately lacks a bit of that more personal connection.

We didn't need Alexandria. I am so. Tired. Of the end game zones being megatech. It was a fun and wild shift ONCE in Heavensward, but you can't keep doing that on repeat, especially when you keep amping up the technological advancement. What made Alexandria/Solution 9 worse is that there's way too many hints of real life in there. You know, government employment offices and recycling bins and advertisements and stuff. I play this game to get away from real life, not be reminded of it. And yeah, Garlemald had cars and stuff, but it at least felt justified because the Garleans can't use magic. They are a mundane people, so of course they'd be more like us. Solution 9 feels like it belongs in another game.

I found Sphene exhausting, not sympathetic. We've already done this before with Emet-Selch and then again with Golbez, and she didn't have a fragment of the depth of the former. I personally dislike the trope of "the leader so universally beloved that they're practically worshiped". I can never buy into it and it always creeps me out.

While I love Vrtra and the first brood, I was mega bummed that getting outside help was the solution to protecting Tuliyollal. Like, Koana's been hyped up as a brilliant engineer this whole time, I was fully expecting him to engineer a defense for the city. I guess time was a consideration but there's some kinda eeeehhhh implications in the Turali being unable to defend themselves, and it's a little cheap imo that the solution was apparently Draco Ex Machina.

But what made Alexandria most exhausting of all is that we literally just finished this storyline, almost beat for beat, in the 6.X patches.Right down to having a flashback dungeon set in a medieval kingdom in the middle of the calamitous war that destroyed it, like what the actual hell. Do we really have to keep doing a narrated dungeon at the end of every xpac, btw? It worked for Amaurot. It was already a bit much with Meteion. But we're just rewriting Shadowbringers again forever, I guess.

I didn't like the end zone at all for the same reasons: another reconstruction of a long-dead place and long-dead people for the third expac in a row. Please stop. I loved Shadowbringers but for the love of god please move on from it. By the end I was just rushing things along because I was just so tired of it all. It's lost its emotional impact by now.

Which is all a very long way of saying that I wish we didn't have to save the world again, I guess. We were supposed to be done with that but either the devs (or more likely the execs) didn't trust that we'd remain engaged if the stakes stayed low. I wish they would trust us like they used to.

ARR wasn't about the end of the world. Heavensward wasn't about the end of the world. Stormblood wasn't about the end of the world. We already know they can do it. We already know people enjoy it. It's safe to relax and take your time building back up, dammit. It was kind of disappointing.

In Conclusion

Despite all my whinging, I actually enjoyed the xpac a fair amount. I'm not hooked, but I didn't hate it. There's a lot of good, and a lot of endearing things too. But ShB was clearly too successful, and I'm wondering now if we'll ever get away from it. The new writing team is proving very hit and miss and I really do miss Ishikawa.

We'll see where things go from here. :think:

[irisbleufic]

Do you have any advice on how to write trans characters? What are the big no nos when writing them? Is it OK to use magic to help my trans characters transition easier? In general if I were to write a trans character in fantasy setting or in an older time period settings what would be different? Or would writing them and their struggles would just be the same?

I do have some advice, although the thing to remember from the outset is that I represent just one trans person's take on these questions. It's also important to know that my trans identity is, even more specifically, that of a person whose gender identity is nonbinary/gender neutral in part due to being biologically intersex. You may also want to ask these questions of a few other individuals with trans identities different from mine (i.e. trans women, trans men, agender people, and so forth). Nonetheless, I'll do my best to respond in a way that you'll hopefully find helpful!

At the most basic level, be respectful. The fact that you're seeking out people to answer these questions means you're already doing that, and believe me, we appreciate it! If you ever feel lost with regard to what's considered the most up-to-date terminology around LGBTQIA+ identities and orientations, the GLAAD Media Reference Guide is generally reliable if you can't get a quick answer from a live human. It may lack finer detail on some points (like the more exhaustive breakdown I gave of my own identity, for example).

Part of being respectful is also asking yourself why you're including a trans character (or a character of any marginalized identity, really). Show that you care about who that character is above and beyond the fact that they're trans. Foreground their personality; focus on who they are in terms of their temperament, their relationships, and even their flaws. For example, if you're going to have a trans villain, make sure they're not reduced to that status simply because they're trans. They likely have ambitions and beliefs that influence that status far more than anything else. Now, I'm not saying your trans villain isn't allowed to be vengeful because the world's been cruel to them; most villains have some component of vengeance going on anyway. Whatever role your trans character is filling, make sure they're fully fleshed out. I feel like this advice is just as much about compelling characterization as it is about being respectful.

With regard to the use of magic for fictional transition: I mean, why not? If magic is a feature and/or a piece of technology in your worldbuilding, I say go for it. I can count on two hands the number of trans creators I know who have included some kind of magical component to transitioning. If we could practice magic in reality, I'm sure we'd use it for transition all the fucking time. Now, if you're writing in a non-fantasy setting, you obviously wouldn't want to suddenly have magic appear for the sake of transition, and then serve no other purpose. You would probably want to reflect real world transitioning procedures, even if that means a lack of medical intervention. Many trans people either can't afford, can't be bothered with, or actively don't want to medically transition. It would be really neat (and have a normalizing effect) to see more trans people in fiction who don't feel the need to medically transition, actually!

This brings me to your question of writing about real trans people in the past. Some lived in times and places where early medical transition measures such as hormone therapy were available (for example: in the ancient world, drinking mammal urine containing estrogen was an approach to feminization). However, many more people did not have options readily available, which meant the most they could do was align the way they dressed and carried themselves with their desired gender presentation. We know a lot more about the lives of intersex and trans people in the past than you might think; even just using those Wikipedia links as a starting point for source location yields considerable information on some of them.

I can't make a blanket statement saying that their daily struggles were all just the same as those of modern trans people. Some of them may not have even struggled at all. This is why doing research is so important. It all depends on their context: culture, language, family dynamics, socio-economic class, did they experience dysphoria or none at all, etc. In that respect, things haven't changed a lot, because those factors affect trans people today.

If there's anything I'd like you to take away from this, it's that there is no single trans story to tell. In fact, there are far more yet to be told than have already been told. Many of us who began telling trans stories before we were completely out, or had completely figured ourselves out, learned in the telling. I'm not saying that will be the case for you, but sometimes the desire to tell a story is indicative that you're taking an active role in discovering your own.

[thesilverlady]

Hi! So I've been thinking about this for some time now, it seems to me like GRRM often exagerates the misogyny women suffered in medieval times.

It's not that women were happy and living in utopia but from reading about different historical societies and time periods in comparison to what he is writing it looks super exaggerated and women often suffer a lot more than what it would be like in comparison to real life.

Maybe it's just me and I don't want to sound mean..but it's starting to feel weird...for example there's a lot of women that have died from the birthing bed, a big number and although it happened it wasn't like every hour a woman died giving birth to a child. Another thing that bothers me it's when really young characters start having sex (Aemma, Daenerys, Viserys II....) It's super bizarre since yes of course women tended to be younger but and I'm pretty sure that no one was advising to have sex with a 13 year old child (there are cases I'm sure but normally it was frowned upon). Even politically women are more restrained ... I don't know maybe I'm seeing gohsts where there are none 😂.

it's definitely a valid subject to criticize and it's been something I've been conflicted over myself.

grrm is generally a. fantastic author; he knows how to write characters, worldbuilding, dialogue and how to play with themes.

With that being said, I can totally understand your feelings on the subject.

On the one hand, you're right, the whole "died in childbirth" is. just a very convenient, easy way to get rid off a female character while adding a tragedy to the mix. On the other hand.... some of these characters were simply not meant to be around.

I think he has definitely tried to add some elements around childbirth death to make it slightly different each time. Like, in f&b the difference between Alyssa Velaryon and Daella Targaryen who both died in childbirth is that Alyssa was at a quite old age and had complications from her pregnancy and her husband and maesters completely disregarded her health and basically sacrificed her to get that child out (for context: her dead was basically what Aemma had in the show. they copied it from that part of the story) In her tragic death, we see how shitty her husband was and the power maesters have over life. We do get her other daughter, Rhaena, rightfully calling out Rogar Baratheon's callous actions.

With Daella her death., while similar is a bit different because her issue was that she was waaay too young. Her mother, Alysanne felt guilty after her death and even wondered if it would have been so much for Daella to stay a child a while longer before pushing her to marry.

Both fall.victims to the patriarchy that is established in Westeros, in the belief that a woman's duty is to be a wife and a mother and a childbirth death while sad is noble. I won't analyze each childbirth death we see 'cause that would take forever - but I do think they all kinda serve a theme that has been existing all throughout the asoiaf series.

As for the age.... listen, i know it's uncomfortable for everyone but I think that's purposely done. Later in the series dany does think. of her old 13 yo self as a child so George doesn't pretend that she wasn't.

Were her descriptions in the first book oversexualized? Sure

But as for the age factor, I study history and cultures at uni and you'd be surprised at the age range young girls were thought to be suited for marriage and childbirth. You gotta consider multiple ethinicies, cultures, social norms, and not to mention life expectancy which played a huge factor in this.

George takes inspiration for all of this. The series is not meant to be a realistic portrayal.

And while I constantly think about the pro and cons about the way George writes his female characters, i don't see enough prase nowadays about how he writes the vulnerability of girlhood, or motherly love, or the caging feeling of being a woman who lives in such a restraining society.

As a man George does a surprisingly amazing job at describing these feelings. And while, I definitely think we should be objective and consider the good, the bad and the ugly with how he writes woman, the good heavily outweigh the bad

[isagrimorie]

Some interesting tidbits from SDCC 2023 for Picard from this post:

Liz Kloczkowski and Kit Stølen from the Picard S3 production team. Although it does seem like across the board Picard S3 crews have been mentioning the smaller budget, which I don't think I've heard from seasons 1 & 2. I wonder if it's because Paramount decided to do a simultaneous production.

Liz Kloczkowski and Kit Stølen were there (hosted by Larry Nemecek) showing off behind-the-scenes pictures. Some that have already hit the internet before, some that haven't. Photos of props, art, and sets, and their inspirations for each. Lots of production fun facts, like how Soong's S2 Lab became the Elios became Daystrom Station (iirc), and how much of the Shrike is reused props. Explained how they were able to stretch a relatively small budget a long way in classic Trek tradition. Several of the environments in S3 were the same sets with the internal contents swapped out and partitions put up.

(Also, I never got why Kurtzman wanted all three seasons to be vastly different from each other. In an interview, I listened to... escapes me now if it was from All Access Star Trek or the other youtube interviews. I guess Kurtzman really wanted that anthology feel originally conceived for Discovery).

From the post, I like that they kind of make a Borg crest/logo although we haven't seen them but its interesting in a worldbuilding POV.

It didn't make sense to Kit that the borg would have an artistic emblem so when they incorporated it into the environment they tried to make it look like it was part of the circuitry with a purpose and not just a logo stamped on a wall.

Also, the really interesting bit here:

There were a bunch of cannibalized Borg parts all over that shady alien market set to make it seem like the citizens of the galaxy had been basically feeding on the Borg's corpse for a while now, reusing salvaged borg tech for whatever personal needs, but Kit says he doesn't think much of that ended up on camera

It's so fascinating how Borg's terrifying and brutal campaign to assimilate every distinctive culture and technology into their own Collective, and now everyone is using salvaged Borg tech for their own use.

It must be so conflicting for Seven who was raised in the Collective and was harmed by it, to see this happening. A conquering, brutal empire reduced to salvaged parts, but also 'Borg technology' is really technology cobbled from civilizations they conquered and assimilated. It's almost cyclical. What comes around, goes around.

I know most people are done with the Borg but they remain fascinating to me.

[mistwraiths]

3 stars

While this book wasn't awful nor hard to push through except for the last 20% because I was ready for it to be over, I do kind of wish I DNF'd because ultimately I didn't really care.

I love sci-fi and aliens so I was expecting to like this book. The worldbuilding, the science and what not doesn't make much sense and ultimately, I was left very confused half the time and looking at the big plot holes the other half. The idea of a reality changing machine or whatever existing is a very fascinating concept but don't ask me to explain how it works or what shadow engines are or shadow jumps or subreal flashes or how the "Princes of the Wisdom" do their things.

None of the characters are really likable at all but I can see that the authors is showing that they're unfortunately products of their fascist, homophobic, racist, etc upbringing especially Kyr because she's essentially a TERRIBLE person and a bully and in the beginning does truly unlikable things such as misgendering; violence against a cuffed alien, and more. I will say I do think her slow come around was done fairly well although it was extremely heavy handed in the last bit.

All the side characters aren't great either, the ones who seemed maybe different are her brother and the nursery assigned girl who actually don't get a lot of focus. I actually felt sorry for how awful Yiso is treated but I LEGIT don't know anything about them??? I don't even understand how they're friendly after one or two little trips into the Wisdom (don't understand that). Avi was the worst but fascinating because he was always choosing AWFUL options and being the biggest bitch ever.

I will give credit to the BIGGEST plot twist I definitely didn't see coming.

However, in my opinion, the execution of what potential could have made this book so cool was that it felt poorly and shallowly done. My big issues is that this book only touches briefly on the things it explores. The biggest plot twist is that the Wisdom just REMAKES reality with Kyr's help. They literally CHANGE IT. It's so freaking cool of a concept. I would have liked to see more grappling with this decision of learning about Kyr and being Valerie. It seems a little ridiculous to me that everyone is mainly alive, I'm sorry but Kyr and her friends were purposely planned for humanity in the last reality so why would most be alive in the reality where people didn't have to plan and could just choose??? Kyr's genetic mother wasn't even pregnant before shit went down in the other reality? Why would her twin be when her father could potentially be completely different from whatever gene pool they picked?? Cleo?? Lisa?? Avi Like how??? And like Kyr learns and is immediately disgusted with this reality. Why???? Isn't this everything she could have hoped for?? Later when we go into a different reality, there's this symbiosis of Kyr and Val that honestly could have been really interesting internal tension or at least made to sound difficult or confusing or uncomfortable but isn't.

The ending is just very heavy handed "we gotta save everyone" because we're showing people "we are good now we think about others" that it gets a little eyeroll worthy. To be quite honest of the ending, I didn't like it. I do think Kyr dying would have been a great way to end it and Yiso because that would have been tragic and sad, but felt poignant. Then it's like jk!!!! the wisdom isn't completely dead!!! you get to live which really cheapens the attempted sacrifice of letting people escape the horror of Gaea Station without you.

So yeah. This book was just kind of mid. At least after the big plot twist the pacing picks up because things are finally having to happen and be dealt with. But overall? Not the cool sci-fi book I wanted it to be.

[vvatchword]

I'm now over 33,333 words and on the way to hitting the proper daily wordcount of 1,667. Added something like... four new chapters. This is not bad at all. I got angry last night about Dr. Lamb characterization and then went to sleep. Turns out that's probably what I should have done all along. I saw a great take about how Dr. Sofia Lamb truly loves everyone equally, and had the realization then of what to do. So hopefully that all works. We're in the early stage here.

I suppose it's fairer for her to have developed this viewpoint earlier, but... ehhhhh FICCCTIOOOONNNNN we gotta put the drama somewhere

Grace Holloway section here. She's talking to James, her live-in boyfriend, who we only vaguely hear about in-game. He's mentioned maybe twice if you count the "Jimbo!" audio diary in the theme park. It MAY be him. It's the third and final black character in BioShock 2 talking about romancing a lady by scaring her. That could refer to Grace. I don't know. It also may not be. I may have just connected two disparate dots. It's a super common name.

Originally, Grace was meant to be married to Stanley Poole. This was intended for creepy-ass gnostic purposes. Christian gnosticism was a mistake and when I tell you exactly why you will cringe so hard your body will look like a Slinky at rest. But I won't tell you why because I'm still technically writing something up about that. I have to do so much fucking reading. I still don't feel like I understand it and that's usually a bad sign. I also want to play BioShock 2 again with what I know now.

There is something so deliciously fun about just stretching the fuck out in this universe. Just letting the Rapture fuckery unwrap itself. Just doing some worldbuilding, asking some hard questions, and seeing how it works in action.

In other news, I have been trying to stretch out my medication and this is a bad idea. When I'm off of it, I turn into a fucking missile launcher and go to war with everybody. It's actually wild how great anti-depressants are. Just gonna say that for posterity

I've actually been thinking about setting up a proper Ko-Fi account, maybe even a Patreon, although nobody who joined it would be able to expect shit from me. I'm too slow a worker and nothing I do is exactly breathtaking. Also it's all fanfiction. Is that even legal?

I hate asking for money for anything. I hate it so fucking much. All I want to do is share fanwork. Fuck money! Free art! But if I don't have money, I can't afford antidepressants and I will literally kill myself so there's that

[badassbutterfly1987]

BSR Chapter 19 Live read

Chapter 19:

update since I'm months behind: group has figured out Tarrant isn't human, they're still looking for Ciani's attackers, and they've just arrived at the port city of Kale

also have to call out this specific line for being so evocative: "squeezed the memories from him like pulpy juice from an overripe fruit, then cast aside the rind"

this is also where we get the famous "evil is what you make of it" line, so it's interesting that in context it means that something evil can change into something good when used for the right purpose. then Damien wonders how Tarrant can be bound; I will refrain from making the obvious bdsm joke. Interesting on both a worldbuilding level and the irony of relying on the Prophet's words to solve the Tarrant problem. Don't worry Damien, I'm sure you can fix him!

while I do have criticisms of some narrative elements, Ms Friedman is very good at description. Kale is maze-like and messy but has enough trade for people to flourish. Speaking of narrative criticisms, I'm at chapter nineteen and the pacing still feels slow. They're ambling around looking for Ciani's attackers without a clear plan dragging around Ciani the MacGuffin and right now the only sparks are the bits of worldbuilding/character moments and especially when Damien and Tarrant are interacting.

Senzei tries to perform a Seeing and is immediately overwhelmed by fae. This is also I think the first mention of the black sun in the title, although it isn't explained beyond something very powerful that seems to be absorbing fae. This is also a great Senzei moment, he's power hungry but intended in a benevolent way but his assumption that he would better be able to handle this power than Ciani or Damien is really setting him up for a Greek tragedy.

Damien tries to buy passage to the Achron River but the boat owner thinks it's too dangerous to be worth the money. Obviously this is when Tarrant arrives and spooks him into compromising for a journey to Morgot, another island port. Also Tarrant snatches Damien's coins before he can react; super fast vampire reflexes or Damien distracted by a pretty face?

The Damien/Tarrant talk goes as expected: "I don't trust you because I think I know what you are but I'm also very intrigued." Damien asks a lot of questions and gets half-answers at most. Tarrant also seems intrigued and very much feels like he's toying with him.

I do find it a little funny that Damien agrees to invite Tarrant along by the end of the conversation without discussing it with Ciani and Senzei first, considering part of the plan had been avoiding crossing paths with Tarrant.

[sailoryooons]

you say I'm being nice, i say I'm being honest (I also say yes to your marriage proposal, no takebacksies)

as an engagement gift to us I thought I'd give you some book recs:

She Who Became the Sun, by Shelley Parker Chan

This book had me floored at certain parts where it navigates gender, sexuality, identity and purpose. I would be sat there feeling so captivated by the exploration of the MC's discovery of self that I knew it would stay high in favourites no matter what I would end up feeling about the plot lol. The good news is I like the plot too ahaha. I think it could be considered a slow burn for excitement levels, I know I recommended it to a friend who didn't read further than the first 1/4 bc it just didn't captivate them. It's the first physical book I bought and read after a long reading lapse, initially pulled in by the beautiful cover, fully intrigued by the author's explainer about where the book came from & very satisfied by my overall experience with it.

Iron Widow, by Xiran Jay Zhao

I basically read this book in two sittings and finished it immediately wanting to read the second (gotta wait a couple months yet). This book is interesting. The pose isn't particularly poetic or elaborate, and some things definitely feel over explained to the reader, however I think that tone adds to the attitude/charm of the book. The voice of the protagonist is incredibly refreshing and invigorating to become one with. I don't think many of the reveals/twists will sneak up on you, but I found that I didn't mind that I could see where most things were leading & just wanted to see MC follow their path. However there was one outcome that I was pleasantly surprised by that I've since seen the author openly talk about on their social media, so I wouldn't follow them until you've give it a read if you're interested. I'm excited to read the second book to see the MC find more of their power within themselves and take more power from the world around them.

Although both books very much have Chinese historical fiction as a genre in common, She Who Became the Sun is more historical fantasy whereas Iron Widow is more futuristic/historical sci-fi.

.. Those were all over the place reviews. yeehaw.

Also, I sent asks a couple weeks ago telling you that your words are that of a surprisingly good published author and I stand by it so hard. I find myself reading and thinking that your writing would be perfect on the printed page and honestly better than so much that's already out there and well acclaimed. I would eat dirt to see a fully fledged book of your fantasy worldbuilding.

I'm so excited for every fic you're gonna release this year. So excited.

Also also

on second thoughts it would probably more appropriate to say dark fae jimin will eat me (and I certainly won't be complaining)

OKAY SO I HAVE SHE WHO BECAME THE SUN ON MY BOOKSHELF! It's on my TBR list but I just started Wheel of Time so we will see how long that takes me. It is a solid 900 page per book so I will most likely read other things between each novel. I am so excited to read it, especially now. You have no idea.

I have read Iron Widow and I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL HEAVENLY TYRANT COMES OUT! I absolutely ADORE Xiran and that story made me look more into Chinese history and theology. I love that it is technically a retelling, in a way. I thought the lore of the crysalises and the dynamics between riders and the use of xi is so!!!! She is such a fantastic writer and I also really enjoy her as a person and her straight-forward approach to publishing.

THAT WAS YOU!?!?!!? WELL I am glad that we are now engaged. You get first dibs if I ever figure out how to publish a book bestie. Honestly, I just try to like... absorb all the big fantasy writers and apply it to my writing. I think the first time I ever realized I wanted to do writing was when I read Eragon in middle school. It's just. Such a masterpiece.

Fae Jimin will 100% eat you he is going to be kind of unhinged I am not sorry!

[sulky-cabbage]

#idk if those were legitimate questions about worldbuilding you would want answers for. #but im gonna answer anyway. #like i see two options. #either sukuna is building some like idk his own kingdom in which case sorcerers are probably not far from him trying to win the favour or a tyrant with some strugglers outside or he’s killing everyone equally lol. #either way i feel like whatever pressure sukuna is putting on satoru being reborn does not hold a candle to just how desperate gojo clan is for him to get reborn and just how wildly they are teaching and protecting him.

They were legitimate questions that I wasn't really expecting you to answer, but you did answer anyway because you're the GOAT🙌🏻

I suck at world building that's why you don't see me writing a fic lol

And oh don't worry I Love your ideas and reading them is the closest thing I'll have to actually reading a fic about this.

So yeah I'm just posting this for fun I'm not claiming this. this isn't my au this is our au now🤝🏻

In fact....

If someone reading this feels inspired to write a fic, PLEASE DO IT.

The day I log into ao3 and discover a fic featuring this au will be my happiest day.

SO PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE!!

Back to what you were saying..

I like the idea of Sukuna building his own kingdom because THAT'S HOT.

I can see him leaving some sorcerers alive, Although it would be difficult to win his approval and they would have to tread carefully whenever they speak to him, otherwise they could end up slain before they know it. (The option that makes him seem Competent & holding himself together)

I also like the notion of him killing everyone equally, with no real purpose other than to wait for Satoru so he can die at his hands. He really got nothing else going on What a loser, lmaoo (The option that makes him more of a pathetic simp)

#like i woulld think he’s hidden so deeplt its insane. #would be funny to see sukuna raiding the whole continent whkle looking for him hehe. #lmao imagime satoru just trying to run away cause hes sick and tired of his clan and sukuna finds him only because of that. #and yeah queue training. #sukuna is going nuts THIS IS SATORU.

Sukuna raiding the whole continent searching for Satoru as the Gojo clan does their utmost to hide him is such a great picture OMG!!! you know what? scratch my original idea of Sukuna making a deal with the Gojo clan I like THIS ONE MUCH BETTER, it's so much more dramatic, and Sukuna seems more pitiful this is exactly what I like 😭😭

Angsty teenager Satoru running away omg yesssss and that leads to Sukuna finding him yesssssss THIS IS SO MUCH MORE CLIMACTIC than my idea of the Gojo clan just sending him to Sukuna, it's perfect for this pivotal reunion ughhhh

And Sukuna's like: "hello little sorcerer" With the widest most diabolical smile on his face.

And Satoru senses his strong Malevolent cursed energy or soul or wtv and he's like I'm fucked...

maybe they even have a little battle because Satoru refuses to go with him at first and Sukuna's freaking tf out internally cuz he's fighting GOJO SATORU RIGHT NOW!!

But Satoru will lose of course and he's like WOAH he's so strong!! I'm supposed to beat that????? And he got out alive??? Sukuna didn't kill him???

#and satoru is sitting there like huh. everyone said he’s blidthirsty and he didnt even kill me huh.

Ooooh this is turning into the beauty and the beast au (we need that au too btw where are the fics???)

#and then sukuna starts talking about part satoru and this boy is like NOT YOU TOO. #oh the torture or being compared to someone else by literally everyone in your life aa.

OMG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭

#sorry im going to far sorry. #love your idea so muchhh

No no no no go even further pookie 😭

*Sending you hugs*

I don't socialize here often but it's been fun talking with you about this

You know what? I'm gonna go read your fics right now😚

AU: Where Sukuna Wins

Part 2

Part 1 here

This au makes me go crazy I had to make a part 2

Especially after reading your tags @fortunatelyenchantingtaco

I couldn't write this post until now cuz I was kinda busy but OH MY GOD

Yessssss you get it

I'm having trouble imagining what would Sukuna be thinking after all those centuries though...

Would he realize that he's in love and that he got it bad?

Or would he deny it and make excuses?

(both options are sooo good but I prefer the latter, since he's a curse and all that... he's constantly cursing himself; this man is doomed, he can't have nice things. his worst enemy is himself)

I also wonder what would the people make of this. Like, why is Sukuna protecting babies with blue eyes when doing so would surely lead to his demise??? They must find that strange. They must believe he is suicidal or that he is looking for a worthy opponent (they are not that far off), or that he is incredibly arrogant and believes he can defy fate and crush their hopes by killing their symbol of hope.

And yes, imagine Satoru hearing all of that... his perception of Sukuna will undoubtedly be influenced by hearing all of that while growing up.

And I wonder what Uraume has to say about this... They must think that Sukuna lost his mind due to boredom, they gotta be a little worried...

God, oh god Imagine the day of Satoru's rebirth. (Make it nighttime for a more dramatic effect.)

As Sukuna gets ready for bed, he senses the shift in the universe, and then Uraume sees Sukuna bolt out of the window and sprint frantically in the direction of the closest village. He burns it to the ground while laughing maniacally. (end of ep 1 style)

(Bonus points if he shouts some dramatic, unintentionally romantic shit with the fire burning all around him, as we hear the screams of the villagers)

He was feeling ECSTATIC.

It's like he's the one being reborn

He hasn't felt this way in centuries...

His last memory of experiencing anything remotely similar was from a few centuries ago when he was ravishing a village and he heard a villager shout at him about a powerful person with blue eyes that shall be born soon to free humanity from his curse.

That had surprised him...

After all, Gojo Satoru had been forgotten for hundreds of years. All those who knew him were already dead. It was only he who was preserving Satoru's memory.

You can only imagine his astonishment upon hearing a random peasant bring up gojo Satoru after hundreds of years.

He abruptly stopped what he was doing, approached the man, and inquired as to how exactly he had learned about this. The man, who was obviously terrified, informed him that he wasn't meant to tell. Sukuna answered that if he tells him, he will spare his life and the lives of his family; if not, he will kill him and the rest of the villagers.

The man informed him that it is a prophecy that the elder shamans at Jujutsu High had predicted. He said that it was meant to be kept a secret because they were worried about what Sukuna would do if he found out, but somehow this information got leaked (probably because people are desperate and needed some solace), and now this villager blew everything out of frustration and anger.

Sukuna was in a VERY pleasant mood after that so he just left him alive and left the village alone.

He may or may not have gone to Shinjuku after that

The prophecy became even more widespread, he began to hear about it more frequently, and it lifted his mood every. single. time.

He gets even more excited as the decades pass by, Now that there are mentions of Gojo Satoru around him (even if he isn't mentioned by name), he feels as if Gojo Satoru is actually alive.

Gojo Satoru isn't just a memory anymore.

He's a prophecy

He's a threat

He poses a danger

He's a promise

He's an assurance.

From the cosmos itself.

A universe-given gift to him.

This promise is what makes his days worthwhile. He now has something to anticipate.

So yeah back to present time..

Sukuna just felt the shift in the universe and just finished destroying some village, including blue-eyed babies, he doesn't need to spare them anymore..lol

And now...

he's at a loss about what to do.

Should he go and find the whereabouts of Gojo Satoru to train him? (calm down, Sukuna, he's still a baby omg) Or Should he leave it to fate and wait for Gojo Satoru to come for his head?

And How long would that take?

He begins to wonder if the prophecy got influenced by the people's desire for salvation. Perhaps the original prophecy was about someone who would be comparable to him and cause him problems in battle, and people simply took it and ran with it, believing it to mean he would be overthrown...

Surely, it is quite a rare enough occurrence for someone to match his strength, so much so that it warrants a prophecy.

After all, Gojo Satoru lost to him last time, Why should this time be any different?

(He will not get his hopes up)

In the end, Sukuna is and always will be the strongest. Satoru would need to receive training directly from Sukuna in order to have any chance of surpassing him.

So yes... he will train Gojo Satoru to make sure he becomes the strongest version of himself...

(yeah that's the only reason... And definitely not because he missed him and wanted to see him right now even if he was still a freaking baby)

(Sukuna bringing Satoru to his house is also very Pharoah-ish)

But there would be a little problem...

If Satoru lived with Sukuna he wouldn't experience loneliness nor would he know the depth of people's suffering.

Sooo yeah... I kind of want them to not meet that often, because I want Satoru to live amongst regular people, and feel the depth of their suffering (and witness the precise harm that Sukuna is causing to everyone), while also feeling lonely and different from regular people.

So maybe the night that Sukuna goes to snatch baby Satoru, he ends up making some kind of deal with the Gojo clan regarding Satoru...

he agrees to let Satoru live with them and and in return they will name him Satoru (omg) and teach him the clan's secret techniques to make him stronger, and send him to Sukuna from time to time after he becomes an adult to train with him and see if he's ready for the fated battle...

Imagine Uraume's reaction upon learning that "Sukuna-sama" is actually instructing the strongest human sorcerer how to murder him 😔

Now What if Sukuna handles Satoru a little more cautiously during training? And attempts to teach him ways to avoid the world cutting slash...

He vows to himself that he will not use the world cutting slash against Gojo Satoru, he has to find another way to defeat him.

If he killed him in the same manner, it would be boring (yeah, that's definitely the reason; it has nothing to do with the trauma of missing Satoru for centuries and being so bored that it could drive a man insane. Yup, nothing to do with it AT ALL... even if It has gotten so bad to the point of making him completely unable to kill Satoru again. He suspects his brain will NOT allow his body to move and do it. But all will be more clear during the real battle so he just doesn't give it much thought)

And Satoru...

oh dear..

Imagine living your life with everyone expecting you to defeat the king of curses that has been looming over Japan for centuries, and he's also expecting you to defeat him and is training you himself????? Like??? Helloooo???

And the insane elders of his clan are clearly only using him for power; everyone keeps calling him Satoru Satoru, they keep saying he's this Satoru guy, they EVEN NAMED HIM SATORU??? (he's Unaware that it was Sukuna's request).

And he would definitely deny being Satoru due to his rebellious nature T-T

But they keep telling him that when he grows older, he will unlock limitless, have purple, and so on...

So as he gets older and everything unfolds exactly as they predicted, he begins to doubt himself...

And if his "Satoru" identity is the only reason he has this much power; This elevates the question: "are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru, or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest" to a whole new level 😭😭

(It seems that he will experience an identity crisis in every universe, huh?)

Given that Satoru would be quite young and undoubtedly beneath Sukuna in skill, it would be only natural for him to look up to Sukuna, who would essentially be his teacher, teaching him how to kill him. Which would leave Satoru bewildered as hell.

And After training with him for years Satoru starts to sympathize with Sukuna and feel like he's the only one that understands him, (his savior complex begins to take hold)

and Satoru's like: uh oh am I falling for the king of curses??? I've been training all this time to kill him, I don't want to fail everyone... (This man will never be free)

So he's torn between saving humanity or saving this curse (by reaching to him and teaching him love and oh boy here we go again history is repeating itself)

So he tries to reach Sukuna in his own way, and Sukuna clocks him right away😭😭

(And he's like you really haven't changed... Albeit he seems pretty pleased about it)

And then he starts monologing about how worthless love is, etc. ect. (He doesn't sound as convinced as before🤭)

Bonus points if we have Uraume in the back staring at the camera like in the office.

So Satoru figures out that Sukuna is too far gone and can not be fixed, but he will continue trying to reach him anyway. (There will be some cracks in Sukuna's walls but he's stubborn as hell)

Nevertheless, he's made up his mind to kill him if necessary. However, he made the decision that he will die along with him. (the prophecy would come true after all; it's fate; there's no avoiding it; Sukuna will die.)

And he doesn't want to remain alone after Sukuna dies.

Now would Satoru inform Sukuna about this plan of his?

Probably not, I want them to have communication issues because it's more fun that way🤭

I'm at a loss for what words they would say to each other before they die...

Especially when Sukuna realizes that Satoru is gonna die with him💔

My mind simply goes blank...