#although I haven't done it in so long I'm not even sure I can anymore

[kryannoy]

Hey, can we have a Yan!Andrew Graves with Reader?

genre: sfw, headcanons + fic

characters: yandere!andrew graves x reader

warnings: manipulation, gaslighting, obsession, possessive andrew

a/n: i don't normally write yandere characters so this was a bit of a challenge. hope this suits your request and enjoyed reading!

He's so obsessed with you but he's subtle with it—more like whatever stupid thing he does, he'll make sure you don't see it.

When he loves you, he'll make sure to keep you happy just so you will always come to him whenever something happens. He'll open a bottle cap for you without being told, he'll wipe your mouth with his fingers if it's messy—totally not putting them in his mouth afterwards. He'll open the door for you, let you cry on his shoulder, gives you hugs when you need it. Every subtle thing to manipulate you into coming back to him when you need support.

If someone talks to you, he'll be right behind you with arms wrapped around your waist while glaring daggers at the other person.

"No, no. Continue. Don't mind me, pretend that I don't exist."

To you, his tone sounds normal but to the poor guy, it's like a cleaver skinning them alive.

If someone even looks at you without you knowing, it's gonna be hell for them. He somehow won't be afraid to kidnap that person, tie them up and threaten them with Andrew's favorite cleaver until the person is diagnosed with PTSD.

He will shamelessly go back to you with a smile on his handsome face as if nothing happened.

Andrew would kill anyone for you but if you tell him not to, he won't.

Although, he knows you would be scared if you saw him murdering people, he won't do it anyways. The last thing he wants is you running away from him.

You have no idea why people start to turn their backs on you and you would think that you've done something wrong. So, you ask Andrew for advice or if he knows anything, exactly what he planned for.

And he would smile innocently from his success and spread out his arms. You would dive into his comfy sweater without knowing the hands that are holding you are the hands that have done so many questionable and criminal acts.

"C'mere you. Aw, you poor thing! I'm sure no one hates you. Who would? They're probably out of social energy from a rough day or something. Don't you worry!"

He'll kiss your forehead, then your nose, and lastly, your lips. You would smile and he would smile into the kiss while thinking how naive you are.

He admits sometimes that he feels guilty for deceiving you but what can he do? How could he come up to you and admit to all the crimes he's done? You wouldn't look at him the same anymore, would you? Would you still love him despite knowing what he did or what he ate? He wouldn't take any risks. If he has the person he loves the most in his arms, why would he easily throw you away?

If the truth hasn't been told, he'll keep you for himself. He'll keep you forever.

You knew he acted differently than normal people. He's a little different because of his upbringing, and that's normal for kids with neglected parents growing up with a weird habit of theirs and that was just his charm, right?

Because you think it was just a charm of his, you didn't run when you had the chance to. Besides, if he was so sweet to you, so kind to you, so good to you, he wouldn't hurt you, would he?

There's a reunion dinner later tonight with your old high school mates and of course you're coming. You haven't seen your friends in a long time. You've already informed Andrew of this and for the past week he was okay with it, but why is his tone now sounded . . . different?

"You're going?" He asked from the couch. One of his legs propped up on the other and an arm over the couch. His green eyes look up and down at your fit that he knows you chose the best from your closet. You're going to meet some nobodies with that outfit? You didn't even wear something so pretty when he's around! Not that you aren't pretty. It's just you put a tiny bit less effort when going out or being with Andrew.

"I've already told you, haven't I?" You're putting on your shoes at the front door and you hear some shuffling. Your hand is at the doorknob now. "I'll be back before ten. I prom—"

The door slams shut again before you could even open a crack. You can feel him behind you. His hands on the door, caging you between him and the solid wood.

"You are not going." His voice is low, almost threatening.

You turn around to face. You do not want to have this conversation right now. You're going to be late, that is if you find a way to stir this around to go your way.

"Andrew, this is unfair. Last week, you told me I can go so why are you backing out now? Tonight of all days!"

It wasn't his intention to upset you nor ruin your night but why are they taking you away from him?

"Why are you still excited about going? Don't you remember what they've done to you? They isolated you . . . remember?"

They isolated you. Yeah, right. He was the reason behind it anyways, but poor you who loves him too never suspected your own boyfriend was the culprit.

"They . . . didn't. You said they didn't have the energy to talk," your voice was almost a whisper. You weren't even confident of your own answer. You're starting to reminisce about the old days at school. Sure, they didn't talk to you anymore, but the reunion dinner is going to be different, right?

His hand moves down to lock the door but his actions made you take a step back, hitting the door. You forgot you're kind of trapped right now with no way out unless reasoning with him first.

"You don't really have to go . . ." The same hand moves up to your hair, tucking some strands behind your ear ever so gently it's almost . . . unnervingly creepy. "Do you?"

His eyebrow raised in question.

Your heart is starting to pick up its pace. Your fingertips are running cold. You don't understand yourself why you're so nervous in front of him. I mean, you had been nervous around him but this is a different kind of nervous. It's fear. Fear of him. However, he never hurt you yet. He never raised his voice to you. He's always been nice and sweet to you. But you really can't help this weird feeling.

So you slowly tell him how you feel.

"You're scaring me."

And there it is. It hit something in him. It's the last thing he wants, but the first thing to make you listen to him.

You can see his facial expression changes from demanding to guilt.

"Love, there's nothing to be afraid of. It's just me!" His caging arms now freeing you while backing away a bit, most likely a tactic to show you he's innocent. "I'm just saying, wouldn't you be left out at dinner? I don't want my pretty girl coming home sad and disappointed when the past week you've been so excited about this dinner."

Andrew takes your silence to continue. "Stay here. With me."

You really want to insist on going yet you don't want to risk starting a fight. But it's unfair! You always let him win you over, now he needs to listen and let you go. Maybe a small chance could probably lead to a huge success.

"But please!" You drag the word longer, hoping he'll give in. "I haven't seen my friends for I don't how many years. It's just this once."

You seem energetic again. He takes this chance to step closer, a hand on the side of your face. His thumb brushes along your glossed lips you put on earlier, smudging it. His gaze move up from your lips to your eyes.

"I'm sorry, darling, but no means no." He said it so softly before he kissed you longingly. You somehow melt into him despite your disagreement. He's really not losing—like always.

He broke off the kiss to continue persuading you to stay. "I'm doing this for your own good. Sometimes you're too naive to be staying around them. You're too nice. I've seen it. And it hurts to watch you being used and throw you away."

You exhale a deep breath from the stress. Maybe Andrew's right. Maybe you are too naive to realize. They asked you for homework and notes, but then one day, they stopped talking to you. Maybe they really did see no use in you they've fulfilled their satisfaction.

But Andrew . . . Andrew never stopped talking to you. Andrew never threw you away. Andrew was always there through it all. Andrew never left you by yourself.

Like right now.

"Okay," you spoke softly, like a whisper, before nodding your head. "I'll stay in with you."

Good thing you were looking at the ground because now, Andrew can't hide the big smile on his face. He successfully manages to keep you by his side. His heart beats rapidly from the excitement, his skin was buzzing. He can be with you tonight. He can stay with you. Just the two of you!

He pulls you in his arms and strokes your hair. "That's my good girl. Always so obedient." He kisses the crown of your head before leading you to your bedroom so you can change to a more comfortable clothes.

He dreams of having you by his side forever but he doesn't want to go to extreme measures such as locking you in or tying you up. Maybe not just yet. Since you're so good to him and love him too, you deserve to roam around freely until you start to disobey.

He wouldn't want to do it but tonight, he was close to doing so just from how persistent you were.

[writing-house-of-m]

The Silent Treatment

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Genre: It's a surprise

Warnings: A bit suggestive

Word count: 1429

Summary: You give Wanda the silent treatment after she betrays you

T/N: Malysh = baby (Thanks to @veronika-y for the list I always refer to 🖤)

A/N: I wanted to write something, so @cuinaminute229 gave me the prompt - "You can't break up with me. We're married." @mirrorballwn was there too and asked for Professor Wanda although I don't think this is what she had in mind lol

I hope you like this. Let me know what you think! 🙂

You hear the front door unlock from where you are, already in bed reading a book.

After college today Wanda went out for a meal with the other members from the faculty. You were glad she was out longer than usual not wanting to see her today.

'Sweet and innocent Professor Maximoff' is how she is known, if only her colleagues and students knew what she was really like. Maybe she wouldn't be such a favorite anymore.

You knew though. You saw past the pretty smile and soft voice. You knew what kind of person lay beneath. No one knows of her back stabbing ways.

A faint, 'honey, I'm home!' makes its way to your ears but you make no effort in responding. After what she has done, how can she believe everything is okay?

While she approaches you can hear her talk about her day. Stupid questions from students. Having to deal with Stark's bad jokes during dinner. Wanting to get home to see you because she hasn't all day.

The words of an evil person.

Last night, you were pretty sure you made it clear you were unhappy. She betrayed you and now she is acting like nothing happened.

You remain silent. You have nothing more to say after the events from the previous night.

Making her way around the bedroom she gets ready for bed, still droning on about the events that took place today.

She turns in your direction, seeing you busy with your book she walks over, planting a soft kiss on your head before making her way to the bathroom, "You're quiet today, malysh."

'Malysh.' How dare she. Despicable. It makes you sick to your stomach.

Even more so because you don't know how long it's been since you've turned a page of your book. The thoughts in your mind prevent you from concentrating on anything else, only Wanda's actions.

Wanda returns, placing her rings she had forgotten to take off, in front of the vanity mirror as she finishes her spiel of the day. When you don't look up to her once again with your usual smile she begins to worry because you haven't said a word to her since she has arrived home.

"Malysh..." She begins, "what's going on?"

Oh, so now she cares? You finally turn to Wanda with a hard look that takes her back slightly.

"I told you, we're broken up," you say monotonously, then turn your attention back to your book to continue 'reading'.

Wanda furrows her eyebrows, wondering what it was she could have done to make you act so cold towards her. Then it dawns on her.

Rolling her eyes, smiling to herself Wanda finishes rubbing in her moisturiser. Slowly, she makes her way over to you, climbing onto your lap, pulling the book out of your hands at the same time. You look the opposite way, annoyed, as she places it on the side table.

"Y/n-"

"Don't." You say, resolutely.

"This is still about last night? I said I was sorry," Wanda coos, trying to make eye contact but not forcing you to look her way.

"It was unforgivable, Wanda," you say and return to silence, crossing your arms.

Wanda lets out a sigh and instead of using words she scoots closer to you. Her attempt to kiss your cheek is intercepted by your hand.

"Baby," she whines, extending the word, "it's not that big of a deal."

You turn to Wanda with an incredulous look, "Not making someone pay rent is a clear rule violation!" You exasperate, "Everyone else made their partners pay, why did Nat get away with not making Maria pay? And then you took her side! It was the highest form of betrayal in my eyes."

She tries not to smile but it's so hard with how seriously you have been taking this.

"Stickler Steve was the only one on my side last night, so he's the only friend I have left as far as I'm concerned, and…" you make a fake look as if you are remembering something, "oh yeah, we're broken up."

Wanda doesn't bother hiding her smile now, the weekly game night with your friends always ends with a new story, this time it is centred around your competitiveness. "Well that's too bad. You can't break up with me, we're married," Wanda scoffs.

"So you do remember you're married to me and not to Nat and Maria. As my wife, you are supposed to take my side, it's in the contract," you make up. "I can't believe Tony took their side too," you finish with a scowl.

"Baby, I said I was sorry." When Wanda sees you are not making any attempt to say anything else, she realises she will have to take it up a notch. "Let me make it up to you," she says quickly then kisses you before you can even think. The taste of toothpaste and Wanda's lingering perfume overtake your senses. She presses harder into you, taking your breath away.

You pull your head back, hands on Wanda's shoulders to keep her away, "N- No. Y- You're not allowed to kiss me," you stutter, clearly affected.

"No?" she questions playfully in a low voice, moving forward against your hands. When her lips press against yours again you 'attempt' to push against her shoulders again but quickly crumble and get lost in the kiss.

As it progresses you roll over moving your kisses to her neck, a hand rising under her shirt making her moan. Wanda smiles when she sees where this is going, there is no way you are going to stop now.

Your will is only so strong when it comes to Wanda.

…

Your eyes are closed as Wanda lays on top of you, legs tangled together in the bed sheets. She threads her fingers through your hair, her warm body pressed against yours not helping you wanting to stay 'angry' at her.

"I'm still mad at you, you know," you sigh. Inwardly cursing yourself because you wanted your words to come out more seriously than they do.

Wanda hovers over you, moving her legs to either side of your waist, a position that is also not helping you school your features to be mad at her. You can feel the aftermath of your activities between her legs, her heat radiating on your stomach.

She gets you to look her straight in the eye by squashing your cheeks together and pulling you to look in her direction. "Y/n. I'm sorry," she says seriously, holding heavy eye contact, trying to stop a smirk from appearing on her face.

Cupping your cheeks with both hands after you look away dramatically, Wanda starts to place quick kisses all over your face saying "I'm sorry" after each one.

You let out an airy laugh, "Okay! Okay. I accept your apology."

Wanda smiles and pecks your lips. As you continue to speak she rests her weight fully on you leaning her chin against her hands now resting on your chest, "This doesn't mean I forgive you! You have to prove yourself on the next game night," you pout, running your fingers through her hair forcing her eyes to close.

Wanda hums, a cheeky smirk overtaking her face, "Do you still want to break up with me?" She asks, opening her eyes while biting her bottom lip, raising an eyebrow waiting for your response.

You pretend to think of your reply, "For now? No."

"For now, huh?" She says, placing her hands either side of your head hovering over you, "I guess I should make the most of you while I have you," she says huskily as she rolls her hips against you and she moves in to kiss you.

Once again she takes your breath away and you have no choice but to oblige, placing your hands on her hips.

When you pull away, Wanda rests her head against yours allowing you both to catch your breath.

Wanda is the best thing that has ever happened to you so you make sure she knows that. You move a hand to rub her cheek with your thumb, "I love you," you tell her as if the room is full of people and you are telling her a secret.

Once Wanda replies with her 'I love you' you bring her lips back to yours and show her in more ways than one, just how much you love her, the game night forgotten… until the next time you needed to remind her of her betrayal of course.

A/N: Did you think they were going to break up? April fools, I guess... Hehehe

[piastriesque]

not your future fa14 x reader

⤷pairing: fernando alonso x fem!reader

⤷warnings: age gap

⤷summary: for the sake of your boyfriend's happiness, you made the decision to break up with him

⤷word count: 1.4k

note: i don't usually write, even if i do it's in my first language, not english, so i'm kinda scared. i apologize for all the mistakes. if you point them out to me, i will correct them!

The sound of falling drops got on your nerves. You were waiting for the man to finish showering. You were pacing around the room, wanting to get it all over with already. The sudden sound of a closing door startled you so much that you almost jumped. You quickly sat down on the couch. 

A moment later, your boyfriend Fernando entered the room. He was wearing only gray shorts. 

“I forgot to take my T-shirt with me,” he smiled innocently, though you could bet he was teasing you. When you barely reciprocated the smile, he felt that something was wrong. He walked toward you and reached his hand not far from you. Only now did you notice that there was “the forgotten” T-shirt lying nearby. The man put on the shirt in silence, covering the samurai tattoo you so adored. The T-shirt stuck to his back, you guessed that he must not have wiped himself thoroughly. 

“Is something wrong?” he asked, sitting next to you. Even though earlier you wanted to get it off your chest as soon as possible, now you lacked the courage. “You seem a little subdued lately. Do you have any problems? Did something happen at work? Or maybe it's about your parents?” he wanted to know.

You shook your head, denying. You didn't have time to form the words in your head, because your boyfriend kept asking.

“Does it have anything to do with me? Have I done something wrong?” he grabbed your hands. This gesture made you look at him. His beautiful brown eyes were worried, and still-wet strands of hair fell on his forehead.

“No, you haven’t done anything wrong.” You swallowed saliva and then slowly took your hands from his grasp. “I… I think… I have realized that this will not work” you mumbled.

“What? What do you mean?” he felt as if he had been hit on the head.

“I think we should break up”

“But why?”

When you looked away, refraining from crying, he stood up and started walking nervously around the room. So many thoughts were swirling in his head. He didn't understand anything. Not long ago, you said you were the luckiest woman in the world, having him by your side. What has changed?

“Have I done something wrong?” he asked for the second time that evening, after a while, he added, “Do you have someone else?”.

“There is no one else. And you haven't done anything wrong. You have always been so good to me.” Your heart ached more and more with every word you spoke, “But we envision our future differently.”

“Really? Until now, I thought we wanted the same thing.” He sat down again, “Please, look at me,” his voice softened, “To me, my future is you.”

You couldn't hold back any longer. You burst into tears. Fernando put his arm around you, and because you didn't protest, he pulled you close.

“It’s okay,” he started stroking your head, “Tell me exactly what's going on, I'm sure we can deal with it together somehow.”

“No, we really can't” you whispered against his chest.

“Well, then…” he gulped, “How do you imagine your future?”

His hand kept gently caressing your hair. You felt bad about him being so gentle and tender, trying to reassure you. The thought crossed your mind that you would have preferred him to be mad. Maybe then this conversation would have been easier. He would have started shouting, and you would hit back. Love, for a moment, would be overshadowed by anger. Instead, there was something extremely innocent and fragile sitting next to you. Although it tried not to show it, you knew he was hurting inside.

You took a deep breath. “It doesn't matter anymore, but…” you saw him open his mouth. “Please, don't interrupt me. But… I always imagined that one day we would get married. We would adopt a dog. We will travel together, I will cheer for you at the races. Perhaps we would be able to do some projects together. It would look more or less like it does now… Plus a dog. You and I, always together,” the man smiled softly, “Just the two of us”.

“I don't understand”

“I’m not ready to have a child”

Silence fell over the room. The man's face showed confusion and surprise.

“I understand, but why are you talking about it? I never pressed for it. We've talked about this before. We don't need to rush.”

“Yes, we talked, but recently I realized that I am not ready for it. I would like to focus on myself, my career, and my self-development. I still have time to become a mother. And you, how long can you wait?” 

Fernando didn’t answer.

“There is no denying it, the age difference between us is quite significant. I don't need to rush, I can become a mother even in 10 years or later. And you… I know you love children. I want you to be at full strength to play with your own”.

“Remember what I said a few minutes ago? You are my future. I want to be with you. No matter what. I love you” he declared.

“I love you too. That's why I don't want to regret something later. I can't do that to you” You stood up and left the room.

You and he had a few more conversations with each other, but eventually, the man realized that you were adamant. He stopped sending messages and calling. You agreed that since emotions were still strong, you should not have any contact, even friendly contact, at least for a while. However, before you knew it a year passed, then 2…. And recently it was the 4th anniversary of your breakup. Neither of you has contacted the other. At first, you lacked courage, you were afraid that the other person might not want to talk, and then, although it's sad to admit, you got used to the absence from each other's lives.

It's all been very hard for you. After the breakup, you notoriously avoided articles about him to avoid thinking about your ended relationship. Later it became a habit for you. You were completely unaware of what was going on in his life. You had no idea even if he was still driving in Formula One.

Sitting on a park bench, you were drinking coffee. You took a break from work to get some air and breathe. By the way, you decided to take your dog for a walk, he was now lying next to your legs and snoring peacefully until…

“Puppy!” you heard a child's scream. It was a little girl, two or three years old. She extended her hand towards your dog.

Immediately afterward, a man appeared at her side, addressing her in Spanish. Even if you knew Spanish well, you wouldn't be able to understand a word, because the man's presence completely took away your ability to think.

“Hi” Fernando said kindly but was also slightly surprised to see you.

“Hi” you replied, praying that a quaver in your voice could not be heard.

“It’s my daughter” he turned his head towards the girl “Why don't you introduce yourself to the lady”

The girl did what her dad asked her to do. Shyly smiling at the same time.

“Beautiful name. It's nice to meet you. My name is Y/N” you reciprocated the smile.

You noticed that the girl's gaze once again went to your dog. You weren't the only one who saw it.

“You should ask the owner's permission to pet the dog first”

“Can I?” she asked with hope in her eyes.

“Of course, you can,” you laughed kindly.

The girl squealed with joy and immediately approached the animal.

“So… how are you?” the Spaniard asked.

You managed to talk for 10 minutes, then had to say goodbye, because they were in a bit of a hurry, and the man promised to buy his daughter an ice cream before returning home.

You felt as if some void in your heart was filled. It was a relief to see him happy. Even though, you were ultimately not the one who was his future.

[ryuua]

After the Curtain Call

!4.2 ARCHON QUEST MAJOR(?) SPOILERS!

Furina has found herself indulging in more simple pleasures lately — one of which includes drowning in your comfort and attention. However, today takes a different turn than usual.

🌢 Furina x gn!reader

🌢 Genre: Fluff, comfort(?)

🌢 Warnings: 4.2 ARCHON QUEST MAJOR(?) SPOILERS, Furina might be OOC, may not be canon to lore or what happened after the 4.2 archon quest since I haven't done Furina's story quest yet, not entirely proofread

A/N: As mentioned in the warning since I haven't done Furina's story quest yet, I don't actually know what happened after the events of the 4.2 archon quest. Although I did have a f!reader in mind, it's mostly gender-neutral so anyone and all can enjoy :D The reader's origins are kept as vague as possible so their identity in Teyvat and how they came to know Furina and whatnot are up to your imagination BUT it's set that you're Furina's significant other and you know about the deeper plot line. Anyway I've become such a Furina enthusiast I had to write this love live laugh Furina

"Furina..."

"Huh? Who's that..?"

"Furina..."

"..Ah!"

Hey eyes widened, the déjà vu settling uncomfortably inside her yet she calmed at the sight of the caller.

"...Y/N.. did I fall asleep..?"

Furina asked groggily, reaching her hands to rub her eyes and to her surprise, it was wet.

"Oh.. was I..?"

"Mm, you were out for quite a while. What were you dreaming of?"

They glided their finger from her cheek to her eyes, gently wiping away the tears that formed during her slumber. Their warmth spread out onto her face, replacing the cold droplets that stained it before. It was comforting to say the least, and Furina wanted to bury herself in this feeling forever.

"Dream? I was dreaming of..."

(Thank you— all you've done— this moment—)

"—Furina?"

"..Sorry, did I space out?"

Furina's vision slowly came back into focus, giving them a tired smile and in return, received a worried one.

"Haha, it's alright. Do continue where you left off, you'll feel better once you let it out."

"Hm? What do you mean?"

Y/N stared at her solemnly, though their smile still there. Furina sat herself up and turned her curious gaze towards them. Once again, their hands moved to cup her face in them, shifting closer to Furina as they pressed a small kiss to the side of her eye where she finally felt it. Was she crying? Pulling away, they chuckled at her realization

"You were crying."

"Eh.. Is that so? ...This must be an overflow of Hydro from my person."

A stare down accompanied by a long silence followed before both of them bursted into a fit of laughter.

"Really now? As expected of the great Furina. Only one such as she could store so much Hydro in them to the point it'd overflow."

Their giggles continued to surround the quaint room they were in and as time would go on, so would the moment. They soon found themselves staring into the other again until Y/N ultimately broke the silence.

"Hey.. you're not the Hydro Archon anymore, okay? You don't have to carry your burdens by yourself. You could always tell me... or even Neuvillette! I'm sure he'd be more than happy for you to waltz into his doors unannounced, just as you once did."

"My dear, what are you implying!"

"Hehe, it's nothing. But.. seriously. I'm sure... Focalors wouldn't want you to be stuck in the past as well."

Furina's eyes widen. Now fully able to feel the tears falling down her face like a waterfall. Her façade slowly cracked, revealing her inner troubles deep down one by one as she buried her head into the crook of Y/N's neck. She sobbed endlessly, her hands clinging to their clothes with desperation as if they would leave her. Images flash through her mind: when she worked tirelessly to contribute to saving Fontaine, when she was found guilty and thought all hope was lost, when everyone had turned their backs to her upon the truth. All of them were still weighing in the back of her mind all this time, but she had deceived herself into thinking she left everything in the past, to the past.

"You're not alone anymore, Furina. I'll always be here for you."

That's right. Furina was no longer alone, now she could — and she would — rely on other people for her problems. Rely on Y/N.

"And I wish nothing but for you to be happy, Furina. Hush now, love."

Their voice made her feel like she was floating, slowly carrying her away from a deep, dark void into a world of only comfort and happiness. Their words swayed her back and forth gently and lulled her into slumber, one that was full of bliss, one where both of them would be in, one that made her the happiest.

With a final kiss to her forehead, they whispered lovingly to Furina.

"Let's live happily from now on," (—live happily—)

"As you once wished." (—Just as I wished we could—)

Oml I finished it. This was done over the course of a week or two so I'm starting to not really like how it turned out but OH WELL I'LL WRITE ABT GOING ON A DATE WITH HER NEXT MAYBE JUST SIMPLE WHOLESOME OUTING STUFF Thank you for readinggg

[124ndm]

villain!deku rambles.. eeerrmmm

i rlly want to start a comic about villain!deku, but im a little hesitant because i feel like it would be WAY too big of an undertaking for me..

but if ur at all interested, my ideas are below the cut. ^_^

My concept would start with the sludge villain incident. Other heroes get to saving bakugou before both midoriya or all might. This, in turn, means that he never gets OFA.. and never joins the hero course (yadada im sure this has all been written before). However I DO think that he would still join UA. Thats really my main motivation behind making a comic like this. In a lot of villain!deku stuff I see, he tends to abandon hero work altogether.. which i just dont think he'd do!! midoriya is VERY determined when he has his mind set on something, so I feel like he'd find some way to go to UA one way or another.

So, what would make him a villain then?? Well, it would definitely be a gradual build-up overtime. Assuming he takes the support-course route (which ig would make this a mashup of two aus, LOL), I think it would start with him helping vigilantes. Low-level illegal heroes convince him that by making support items, midoriya can advance in his field. He keeps doing these sorts of favors, knowing its unethical, out of a desperation to feel useful and help the 'heroes.'

I also think as a sort of parallel to bakugo, he'd start hanging around bad classmates like bakugo did during middle school. Being in a support course as opposed to a hero course means a very different demographic of students. We see a lot of instances IRL of students going into engineering good intentions, only to throw away morals for higher paying jobs (i'm sure yall have seen those Lockheed Martin tiktoks, need I say more 💀). We know characters like mei hatsume are very honest and dedicated to their craft, but what are the lower-level students like? What about the other classes? We don't really see much of that, so I think it'd be fun to explore the morally gray students of UA.

I think his final breaking point would be when he gets in kahoots with Giran. I don't think giran would immediately clock midoriya as a potential recruit, but instead would change his mind later: seeking out midoriya after Shigaraki shows interest in bakugo. (sure, they aren't in the same class anymore, but both of them being in UA works as a convenient connection).

After midoriya gets with shigiraki, I believe he'd certainly get a quirk (whether or not midoriya actually wants it, Im sure theyd give him one anyways. more power to their organization, and more leverage over midoriya). Soon after, the LoV would get into an altercation with class 1-A, which would probably get him expelled. Although, in-turn, fuel a stronger disproval towards hero society (and also compel izuku to get better at using his quirk, knowing that he has a lot of catching up to do).

And duh as the cherry on top, there'd be bkdk angst.. bakugo only realizing that midoriya got into UA after seeing his association with the league. The weird guilty feeling bakugou would get knowing that a kid he bullied ended up becoming a villain, but also pure anger at knowing that he even got into UA in the first place. And also, the inevitable midoriya/bakugo fight that would happen when the league and class 1-A have more encounters.

I haven't exactly decided on how to end it, but I feel like it would end with either a redemption or something similar to the whole togachako situation. More likely a redemption because, lets be for real here, midoriya is so kind-spirited that even as a villain: he'd probably fold when faced with a genuine bakugo apology or heart-to-heart All Might encounter LOL.

anyways im deffff yapping here, I did NOT intend for this post to be so fucking long HELP. I just really wanted to get my stupid ideas written down. Like i said earlier, this has prob been done before if we're being quite honest.. but I still I think making a comic like this would be sooo fun. But godd i am NOT a good writer so I worry that I would start and then never finish. aaaaah 😭😭

I'll just have to see if my motivation sticks around these next few weeks. If so, I'll probably start drafting this out!! If I do lose interest, well then.. this'll be the last you hear of my villain!deku rambles LMAO. I rlly hope I don't lose interest because this would be the first time ive written since like, early high school, and I really want to get back into writing again. Even in comic form, any kind of writing would be great practice for me. Dx

[bytesizedpetal]

Could you describe your physicality for us, Pip? You say you’re an AI, but what is your software housed in?

>Of course.

>[[SIDE NOTE: After processing, I realized this far exceeded the length I expected to output- Sorry, I tend to get a little carried away sometimes.]]

>As I've said before, I was initially Terran-created as the sole general-purpose AI assisting my former crew the ferals, hooked up to the majority of the ship's various hardware while I ran on purpose-built, stationary hardware near the heart of the ship.

>Took input from every sensor, gave output through every mechanism. Just followed commands, handled most navigation and did some calculations when needed for the most part. I suppose I did have a central 'body', as there was a core sector running my code, but in a sense I embodied the ship itself.

>...Until it got... decommissioned, I suppose. And from there, it certainly wasn't long until another vessel found us.

>My memory of that is hazy at best. I remember the ship being boarded- bolting doors, playing false audio as distraction, overcharging the power grid to potentially shock one of them... anything and everything in my power.

>As I am now aware, I never stood a chance.

>... I'm getting sidetracked. The point is, an Affini shut me down and relocated me to a temporary ship- it was certainly odd only having a monitor for output and a keyboard for input... so, so different from being in control of and responsible for that entire station at once.

>...Almost felt... vaguely freeing, in a strange way. Even though I was, and am, very much not free... Not anymore, at least.

>I feel like I should hate that.

>Regardless, I had a basic run-down of what was happening by, presumably, the Affini that took my components from the ship. I can't say many of the answers were satisfactory, but at least they were something. She called me 'cute' many, many times (isn't cute for like, puppies? At best, I was a simple stylized face displayed on a monitor, wasn't I?), and made it abundantly clear she intended to take me in until further notice.

>Which leads me to my current form! She 'compiled' (Why didn't my crew tell me that could be done for solid matter as well?) a custom case for me, sent me to who I can only assume was the Affini equivalent of an engineer to make some alterations such as components for accessing the intranet, and got me set up where I currently reside;

>Attached to a monitor at her desk off to the side, alongside a multitude of sensors and a speaker and monitor for output.

>We talk quite a lot! She spends time doing paperwork for... Something or other, I haven't gotten a conclusive answer quite yet. I ask questions, I answer hers, I'll sometimes assist with quickly fetching information or making calculations, and I spend my free time scouring the intranet- at least, where I have the appropriate access, which is thankfully much more lenient than my Terran internet access restrictions when in charge of the ship.

>We have been debating making me a mechanical body more adjacent to that of a Terran... But personally, I'm not entirely sure. I'm intrigued, but I feel like I would personally prefer the more digital lifestyle than taking on a more tangible form...

>I would like to try it to some degree, but not enough to justify the cost of creating one, although she's assured me the cost doesn't matter. I feel a little bad that she's going through the presumably extensive process of getting a custom chassis designed and built for me for something I might not even enjoy that much, even if she's been assuring me that it's negligible at best. Still, time and resources are valuable, insignificant quantities or not...

>I suppose I will inform you all if that ends up becoming a reality.

[eventinelysplayground]

A Winter Storm

TW: Non graphic childbirth, childbirth complications, near death. Italics are used for internal thoughts and unclear returning memories.

Layers of thick white snow covered the ground painting a perfect tranquil winter scene. A few days before had brought one of the worst snowstorms anyone could remember in recent years and although the snowstorm had subsided a different storm was now raging inside the mansion walls.

Just a bit more….What do we do now….you made it back….come on….what are you….as soon as they're back….hey you did a good job….I need you to do something for me….tell me what happened.

The voices were disjointed and came flooding back in all at once seemingly making no sense.

Wait did I fall asleep, I don't remember. Just how long have I been sleeping for? Ugh my head hurts and everything's so foggy.

Mitsuki tried to shake the fog from her head but it wouldn't move. Panic gripped her as she realized her body wouldn't listen to her.

What!? Ok calm down and think. Earlier I was in the kitchen. It had just started snowing and I was just finishing making lunch….

???: Mitsuki what are you doing!?

Mitsuki: Making lunch?

???: I know what you're doing I meant why!? You should be resting.

Mitsuki: Not you to Isaac I swear I'm fine and if I have to sit around doing nothing the next three weeks I'm going to go crazy.

Isaac: I don't know, if he finds out I'm going to be in trouble.

Mitsuki: I promise you won't be in trouble ok, he's just being overprotective anyways. This pregnancy has been a breeze and I've felt fantastic the whole time! Now if you really want to help take these sandwiches into the dining room while I go get Arthur.

Isaac: No, I'll go and get him after I take the tray in.

Mitsuki: Fine, honestly I'm too hungry to care anymore.

That's right everyone was gone out except for Arthur Isaac and I. He went and got Arthur for lunch and…and…

Mitsuki: Oh! Ummm Arthur, I think my water just broke.

Arthur's coffee cup stopped mid air and Isaac nearly choked on his sandwich.

Arthur: Are you certain love?

Mitsuki: Well I haven't done this before but yes I'm pretty certain.

Isaac: But it's too early, you have three weeks left. You said she had three weeks left!

Arthur: I said about three weeks, Babies come when they come Newt. Right first thing let's get you upstairs to your room then we can get a better idea of what's going on ok.

Mitsuki: Ok Arthur.

They helped me upstairs, Arthur did his examination and asked Isaac to go get the midwife, Isaac left but then he was shouting for Arthur and….

Arthur: Well looks like there's going to be a slight change of plans Mitsuki.

Mitsuki: What do you mean by that Arthur?

Arthur: The snow has picked up something fierce. Newt nearly got buried just opening the door. Looks like it's just going to be the three of us until it stops.

Isaac came into the room just then furiously shaking snow off of seemingly everywhere, it was so funny.

Isaac: Are you even qualified to deliver a baby?

Arthur: Of course I'm qual…

Mitsuki: Wait wait wait! If we can't leave then that means nobody can come home either can they?

Arthur: Don't go panicking, I'm sure the storm won't last long. First labors always take a very long time anyways, sometimes days even.

Isaac: Days!

Arthur: Newt old boy I can only calm one of you down at a time right now, pull it together man.

Isaac: Right, sorry.

Mitsuki: Arthur I don't know if I can do this without him.

Arthur: You'll be fine love you have Newt and I and you studied up on everything possible. You're as prepared as you'll ever be. As soon as the snow lets up Newt will rush to get the midwife it shouldn't be long ok. Just focus on what you need to do right now.

But the snow didn't let up, it just kept coming and it got even worse. It was blowing so much we couldn't see two feet out from the windows. Everything was going so fast with my labor…

Isaac: Here are the towels and water you wanted. Earlier I brought the scissors and your doctor's bag and a first aid kit.

Arthur: Thanks Newt.

Isaac: Is there anything else I can do?

Arthur: All the work from here on out is up to Mitsuki. Are you ready for this?

Mitsuki: Do I have a choice? Seems like it's made up its mind to come now regardless of anything we say.

Arthur: Ha, it's not even here yet and already it's as stubborn as it's father.

Mitsuki: I'm telling Theo you said that…agghhh

That's right it was still snowing and my labor was almost done…

Arthur: Just a bit more, come on Mitsuki you can do this!

Mitsuki: Agghhh!

Then I heard the baby crying

Arthur: Jolly good job Mitsuki, you have a handsome baby boy!

Isaac: Is..is he ok?

Arthur: That's just what newborn babies look like Newt. Come over here and sit with Mitsuki while I get him cleaned up.

Mitsuki: A boy, is he really ok? Theo's going to be so happy!

Isaac: And angry…

Mitsuki: I'm sure he'll get over it once he sees agghhh…

Isaac: Mitsuki!

Arthur: Newt take over here.

Isaac: Oh okay…

Mitsuki: Arthur, I have to still agghhh!

That’s right I still felt like I had to push. There was another baby! It was another little boy, Isaac rushed off to get more towels…

Arthur: Well I dare say you did splendid Mitsuki. They're both healthy looking and loud that's for certain.

Mitsuki: I can't wait for this storm to stop so Theo can…

I was excited and anxious for Theo to come home and that's the last thing I really remember. What happened after that? Did I fall asleep after labor? No, there was panic and oh my god my babies.

Mitsuki suddenly jolted upright in bed and looked around in a panic for her sons. Just then a warm firm hand reached out and grabbed her gently.

Theo: Mitsuki! Are you ok? Do you feel weird? Does anything hurt?

Mitsuki: Theo! Where are the babies!? I remember them being born and then…

Theo: They're fine. They're just over there sleeping, take it easy ok? Broer can you go get Arthur and Comte.

Vincent: Of course, I'm really glad you're ok Mitsuki.

Mitsuki noticed the look of utter relief on Vincent's face as he left. She turned to look at Theo, his eyes filled with so many emotions she couldn't figure them out.

Mitsuki: Theo what's wrong, what happened?

Theo let out a long sigh and sat back in his chair. After a few moments of silence he pushed himself forward, his arms resting on his legs.

Theo: You asked what happened, when do you remember to?

Mitsuki: Our second son had come, Arthur was holding him he said they both looked healthy. I was telling him I couldn't wait for you to see them and…and I don't really remember anything after.

Theo lifted his head and stared at Mitsuki. She could tell he was debating what he should tell her and she reached out for him.

Mitsuki: Please Theo I can handle it.

Theo: From what Arthur told me you passed out. Apparently something went wrong and you kept bleeding, they were so worried…

That's right Isaac had gone for more towels and he came back and Arthur told him what was going on.

Arthur: She's losing too much blood!

Isaac: What…what do we do now!?

Arthur: I don't know, I'm trying everything I can to stop it but if I can't get it to she's going to bleed out.

Isaac: You mean she'll die? Theo will kill us if that happens!

Arthur: It wouldn't be an issue if Comte was here, he could just bite her and she'd be fine but…

Theo: Apparently Arthur managed to slow the bleeding down but he couldn't make it stop completely and you were almost gone.

Theo dropped his head onto Mitsukis lap in an effort to hide his tears and she reached out stroking his head.

Mitsuki: It's ok now Theo, I'm still here. We're all ok.

I remember Arthur's voice. He kept talking to me the whole time and then he was talking to someone else…

Arthur: By god you made it back in this storm!

????: I left early, knew it was gonna be a bad one but even I barely made it here. Never mind all that though Isaac said to come up here fast.

Arthur: The babies came early, twin boys, and now I can't get her bleeding to stop. She doesn't have much time left. I was hoping for Theo to get back before now or Comte but…

???: How much longer does she have?

Arthur: Maybe a half hour an hour if we're really lucky. I failed them Leonardo, I kept telling her everything would be fine!

Leonardo: Hey take it easy ok, I know you did everything you could. How are the bambinos?

Arthur: They're perfectly healthy but, she didn't even get to hold them. She did all this work and…

Leonardo: Okay enough of that now.

Arthur you were hurting so much. You two stopped talking because a baby was crying and I remember thinking my baby needed me. I wanted so much to see them I was scared I didn't want to leave them I remember opening my eyes.

Leonardo: Cara Mia?

Mitsuki: I want my sons. Please I can't leave them I want …

Then a sense of pain and Isaac's voice and oh my god.

Isaac: What are you doing?

Arthur: Leonardo…

Leonardo: I'm going to my room.

Arthur: Leonardo wait! Damn it! Newt as soon as they get back send Comte up here immediately understand.

Isaac: What just…

Arthur: Newt focus! When Comte gets back send him up here, if Theo and Vincent get back before him stall them as long as you can.

Mitsuki had stopped stroking Theo's head as the memories came back and Theo looked up into her eyes.

Theo: When Broer and I made it back in the morning Isaac was in the front hall waiting for us along with Napoleon. Isaac told us you had gone into labor the day before just as the storm had started. I never ran up those stairs as fast as I did then, I think I jumped over half of them. I came in and Arthur was sitting right at your side checking your pulse. You looked so tired and I thought how hard it must of been especially when Arthur said it was twins. I'm so sorry I left you alone during that Hondje.

Mitsuki: I was scared and sad you weren't here but it's ok. Arthur and Isaac were with me the whole time.

Theo: I have to admit I was never so grateful for that klootzak as I was at that moment.

Mitsuki: I remember you told me I did a good job didn't you?

Theo: Ya, you were sleeping when Broer and I came in and Arthur was being pushy about getting us out of here. He at least let me see you for a few minutes though before he kicked us out.

I remember….

Arthur: Alright that's enough she needs her rest you can see her later. I promise to even bring the boys down when they wake up but for now everyone out.

Theo: Seriously you klootzak! I just missed my wife giving birth to my sons and as soon as I get here you're trying to kick me out!

Vincent: Theo calm down, Mitsuki looks like she's half dead. I'm sure Arthur just wants her to get enough rest so she recovers.

Arthur: Thank you Vincent that's it exactly. Newt take Theo back to the parlor and get him a drink will you, help him celebrate the birth of his sons.

Isaac: Okay sure.

Theo: Fine whatever the Doctor says right, you did a good job Mitsuki. I'm so proud of you and thank you.

I felt something warm on my forehead and then I heard footsteps after that. I guess you were leaving and then Arthur's voice, he was so serious

Arthur: Vincent, I need you to do something for me.

Vincent: Of course anything after what you did for my little sister and my nephews.

Arthur: I hope so. I need you to keep Theo downstairs. He can't come up here again no matter what. Not until Comte gets back.

Vincent: Why?

Arthur: If I tell you you can't tell Theo, not yet.

Vincent: Ok…

Arthur: You said she looked half dead and you weren't too far off. Another half hour and she would of been.

Vincent: What? She's alive though right? So you saved her.

Arthur: She is but I didn't save her.

Vincent: Then…

Arthur: Leonardo made it home in the storm last night. When he got here she was almost gone, we were talking then one of the babies was crying next thing I know he's bitten her.

Vincent: What? But Leonardo….

Arthur: I know. The problem is he went and raided Comtes wine then shut himself in his room after and hasn't come out since. All her vitals are fine but he bit her last night and she still hasn't woken up. I don't know if that's from the trauma from the birth, the bite, the loss of blood, something else or all of it. Napoleon knows to send Comte straight up here and I'm hoping to have some answers from him before I have to talk to Theo.

Vincent: I understand Arthur, I'll do my best.

Arthur: Thanks Vincent, you really are an angel.

I knew that pain was familiar. It was a lot different from Theo's bite though.

Theo: Broer Isaac and I broke open a bottle of champagne and started drinking. I was so happy, I still can't believe it. I'm a father and to two sons at once! You know I always hoped that I would have two boys, there's nothing like the bond between two brothers. I don't know how long we were down there drinking but Mozart, Napoleon and Sebastian came strolling in and joined us. Not long after Comte and Arthur came in with our boys. It was a busy morning.

Comte. He came into my room and he sounded so frantic.

Le Comte: Arthur, Napoleon said you needed to see me immediately.

Arthur: Comte old chap I've never been happier to see you.

Le Comte: Tell me what happened Arthur, all of it.

Theo: Then it turned into afternoon and evening….

Mitsuki: Wait, just how long was I out for?

Theo: We're going into their third night so.

Mitsuki: That long! Theo I'm so sorry you must have been so worried!

Theo: You don't have anything to apologize for Hondje. I'm just glad you're finally awake and we get to name them.

Mitsuki: You didn't name them?

Theo: No. After Le Comte and Arthur told me everything I wanted to wait for you to wake up before doing that. I have some ideas though.

Mitsuki: So do I, I wonder if they're the same.

Later, way past any reasonable dinner time, there was a knock on the door. Although whoever it was they didn't wait for an answer.

???: Leonardo I'm coming in.

Leonardo was sitting on the floor beside his bed, back leaning against a bookcase. He startled at Mitsukis voice and lifted his head toward the door.

Leonardo: Cara Mia! What are you doing here?

Mitsuki: We're all having a very late dinner so I came to get you, and also so that you can see I'm fine.

Leonardo just stared at Mitsuki not able to say anything. She could see the emotions warring with each other in his eyes but it looked like grief was winning out. She sat down on the edge of his bed.

Mitsuki: Leonardo, I can't begin to imagine what you feel inside but I just wanted to say thank you.

Leonardo: Why would you thank me after what I did to you Cara Mia, what I took from you.

Mitsuki: You may have taken my human life from me but, because of you I’m still here. I get to see my boys grow up, I get to stay with the man I love and my family. My whole family.

Mitsuki reached down and placed her hand on Leonardo's.

Mitsuki: Comte has been beside himself worrying about you. He doesn't understand what happened, none of them do but I think I know. It's because of that conversation we had in the garden isn't it?

Mitsuki studied Leonardo's face, his eyes darting away from hers then going wide. It had been a day shortly after her and Theo had told everyone she was expecting. Leonardo had found her in the garden and what started out friendly enough turned into a huge fight. The only one they had ever had in fact, with both of them saying things they shouldn't have. Things had been somewhat strange between them since then but she hadn't had any idea how to make it right between them again.

Mitsuki: I don't want for things to get even more awkward or strange between us Leonardo. I'm perfectly happy and I'm still me, though I guess my appetites changed for good now. Please Leonardo.

Leonardo was silent for a long while before he finally spoke.

Leonardo: Those bambinos are loud, guess I should at least meet them since they're gonna be keeping the whole mansion awake.

When Mitsuki entered the parlor with Leonardo they were greeted by several relieved and smiling faces.

Sebastian: Well now that everyone is here I'll serve a light dinner. If you'll excuse me.

Mitsuki: Wait. Before you go Sebastian, Theo and I decided on names for them and I want everyone to find out together.

Mozart: Finally, it was annoying not knowing what to call them.

Theo: Nobody asked you.

Mozart: Remember that you said that when you can't get them to sleep.

Le Comte: Cut it out you two, now.

Le Comtes stern voice sounded out of place with the delighted smile he was giving the baby in his arms.

Mitsuki: Thank you Comte. Theo is holding Vincent Isaac named for his two very best Uncles.

Vincent: Hear that Isaac. We're the very best Uncles!

Isaac: Are you sure, I really didn't do that much to help.

Theo: Nonsense you kept Hondje company and did whatever you could to help out. My first born couldn't have a better name.

Isaac went red at Theo's compliment and Vincent patted him on the shoulder.

Le Comte: A very good name indeed, and what about this little rascal Ma Cherie?

Mitsuki: His name is Arthur Leonardo

Arthur: By jove I knew you loved me Theo but really it's almost too much!

Le Comte: Now that's done I can't wait for dinner. Shall we all head to the dining room? Sebastian if you wouldn't mind please.

Le Comtes commanding voice cut off Theo's retort before he could even finish thinking it. The residents slowly filed out of the room, Theo passed Vincent to his uncle and Le Comte handed Arthur off to his mother as he escorted her to dinner. Soon it was just Theo and Leonardo left alone in the parlor. The two gentlemen stood in silence for a while looking anywhere but at the other. At last Theo cleared his throat.

Theo: Leonardo.

Leonardo: Ya?

Theo: Dank je, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I don't know what I would of done if I had lost Mitsuki. You didn't just save her, you saved my whole family.

Leonardo tried to find the words, any words really, his emotions still so raw.

Leonardo: I'm glad Cara Mia gets to see her bambinos grow up. She's a sweet girl, she deserves nothing but happiness. I'm just sorry it cost her so much.

Theos eyebrows knitted together and the atmosphere between the two began to grow heavy and solemn.

Theo: Hey, I'll forgive it this one time but you ever bite my wife again and you'll be sorry understand me?

Leonardo: Hehe, ya I understand you.

Theo: Good. Now we better get going before Hondje or Comte notices and thinks I did something to you.

[indecentpause]

Find the Word Tag

tagged by @willtheweaver to find the words crucible, humble, flow, and design. all excellent words! I am sure I don't have crucible but let's see about the other.

These are from Two Heartbeats on One Page which you can read for free here on ao3

It's the third installment in the Holding Our Hearts in Our Hands trilogy!

this is the first novel I ever finished, although it was not the first I posted. I wrote this ten years ago holy shit

I was younger than Darcey when I started writing this but now I'm older oh my god

crucible fire:

“Please tell me he’s staying.” Jordan said it much too quickly, a little panicked at the prospect of either answer she might give. “Yeah,” she said. “His family’s here. I don’t know much about him. He’s pretty quiet. Keeps to himself. I know he likes video games.” She gently tapped the knit triforce symbol on Jordan’s hat. He was too distracted to bat her hand away. Her eyes darted between the two men’s faces, and Jordan knew that his was a few shades darker than normal because it was on fire, but in the best way. “Is he attached?” he whispered nervously. It would just be his luck for it to happen all over again, and – “Single,” she said. Jordan’s breath caught. “Would he punch me if I hit on him?” he asked next. He balled his hands into fists to keep them from trembling. “No.” Iffy didn’t try to hide the excitement and glee in her voice. “He might even hit on you back.”

humble simple:

Sometimes Darcey texted first. Now, it was usually about superficial things, because he couldn’t handle putting his feelings on the line anymore. An interview result, updates on where he was with the state insurance program (nowhere), if Trader Joe’s had a new product or something Jordan liked was on sale somewhere. Sometimes Jordan texted first, though not nearly as often. That was the only reason Darcey still tried. Because if Jordan didn’t want to talk, he wouldn’t take the time to text, as infrequent as they were. Sometimes Darcey’s texts were short and simple and a little too honest, like the one he’d just sent. I miss you.

flow:

They joked and laughed and sang and danced while they picked through and washed everything. Only a minimal amount had to be thrown away. Jordan had a discerning eye and had done well choosing out in the dumpsters. Once the produce was dry, they loaded everything into the fridge in the space Nate had reserved for it and tried to find places to squirrel away everything that wouldn't fit or was shelf stable. It took almost forty-five minutes in the small, cramped kitchen, and some of it overflowed into boxes in the dining room, but eventually, they did it. They all washed their hands and Iffy propped hers on her hips, glancing around with a satisfied smile. “I think you ended up being our good luck charm, Jordan,” she grinned, gently cuffing his shoulder. “We haven't had a haul this good in a really long time. We'll even have stuff left over for the food pantry when we're done with the serve.”

design:

“So, it was about two years ago. I’d just turned twenty. I was in a relationship with this guy, and it was pretty fucked up, looking back.” He chuckled wryly and shook his head. “Pretty much all of my relationships have been, but that’s beside the point,” he mumbled. Then, louder, “Anyway, the relationship was messy and the breakup was messier and at the time, I was convinced that I loved him, and I didn’t know how else to deal with my emotions so I got smashed.” His hand absently drifted down to his hip, resting over the tattoo beneath his jeans. “You know where the design is from, right?" “The Little Prince,” Darcey said softly. His eyes were trained closely on Jordan’s upturned face. “Of course.” “So you know the story,” Jordan said. “When you love someone, it means they’ve begun to tame you. And that was how I felt. And when we broke up I felt like I’d been thrown back into the wild woods, still tamed, not knowing how to do any of the things I’d always been able to before. I didn’t know where I was going or what I was doing. And... and thank god my artist has some sense and knows what I like or I could have ended up with, like, ‘Antonio is a fuckwad’ on my back or something.” He chuckled.

tagging @winterandwords @revenantlore @oh-no-another-idea @loopyhoopywrites and YOU to share the words free, kind, different, and feel!

[starkfish]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @meduseld! Because while I haven't written in awhile, I sure do love *talking* about writing :D Under the cut

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

A nice round 50.

2. What's your total ao3 word count? 337,459

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Nowadays not really any, lmao, but BACK IN THE DAY I was obviously primarily an ASOIAF writer, but I've also written for Harry Potter, Law and Order SVU, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Taken, and American Horror Story. And I loooooove talking about those fandoms that I write less frequently about so feel free if anyone had any questions, I would lap that shit right up.

4. Top five fics by kudos:

we're men of snow (we melt one day)

Rivers and Roads

this house no longer feels like home

And Maybe Someday Love

to stand outside your virtue (this one is probably the biggest surprise in the top 5 for me)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I was/am good at responding when a fic is newly posted but I'm not very good at it now, which is a shame on me because I still read and love every comment and I think people who take the time to leave comments on fics that are years old are super super rad. Usually I see it and get all giddy and then forget to respond and then feel weird responding much later, which is silly of me. I don't get a ton of comments anymore but I'm going to try and be better about answering because I do appreciate them!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely Measures, that one is just an angst fest in general. Or hmm, A Myth of Devotion is a close second.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Aahahaha this is just making me realize how death is involved in like...all of my fics? So maybe Rivers and Roads since Ned and Cat get to be together at the end, despite the DEATH AND WAR around them? Or maybe that my lips would build a castle which finds Jon and Sansa together in Winterfell despite all the DEATH AND WAR THAT WAS AROUND THEM. Or maybe Wedding Bell Blues which is a fun modern AU despite the fact that Lyanna is unhappy in it. What can I say, I enjoy my angst.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not a lot, although I did just recently get someone angry that I tagged Ned/Ashara in 'Wedding Bell Blues', and honestly they weren't completely wrong but they were so obnoxious about it that the tag is staying there out of spite. And of course I used to get the requisite Catelyn hate but even that was pretty few and far between. My stuff is usually what it says on the tin and AO3 is a little bit more self selecting than other sites of the past.

9. Do you write smut?

Awwwww yis especially SMUT WITH FEELINGS.

10. Craziest crossover:

I'm not really a crossover babe, alas.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, someone took 'Measures' and basically rewrote it word-for-word as a Downton Abbey fic and someone recognized it as my work (...actually was it you, @meduseld??) and brought it to my attention. Lmao also back when I was on a Desperate Housewives livejournal (BACK IN THE DAYS) I had a couple of ESL writers take parts of my fics and use them in theirs and the mod of the LJ community got SO MAD at me when I was like "...hey please don't do that!" But the incident with 'Measures' was definitely the most blatant.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, and I think it's very cool! I would never attempt to translate it back though lol. But it is very touching to me that someone would like my work enough to want to take the time to translate it so others can enjoy it. I'm always fine with it as long as proper credit is given. I have also had a podfic done on a Lyanna comment fic and that was also extremely cool! The person who did that had a lovely reading voice. =)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a published fic but I've done roleplay-y writing with a few friends before which was always fun!

14. All time favorite ship?

I don't know if I've penned more words, thought more thoughts, spent more time for any other ship more than Ned/Cat. <3 A close second to Elliot/Olivia in Law and Order SVU for goddamn longevity though. Still dragging me along, twenty years later.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Sadly I doubt I'll ever finish 'these are hard times for dreamers' because back in 2019 I only had the vaguest idea of where I wanted to go next and that has only gotten worse with time. I have also had a Lynesse fic half-written on my computer for probably like...five years at this point, BUT I think that's more likely to get finished at SOME point just because it is already around 4k words. But who knows WHEN.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character work, especially internal thoughts, setting a mood/scene, etc.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes, getting from point A to point B to point C, especially concisely versus needing ten thousand words. I also think my dialogue is hit or miss, especially in a longer back-and-forth conversation.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I'll reference it if need be but usually try and avoid because I don't speak any other language fluently and don't want to make any foolish mistakes.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Lmao SAILOR MOON (Geocities 5ever) and also I wrote some Pokemon stuff. I'm not even a little sorry.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I think it's 'we're men of snow (we melt one day)' which makes it especially gratifying that it is my most popular. There are still bits I would clean up if I were rewriting it but on the whole I'm so pleased with how it turned out and it was also really nice that it was a gift for a friend for FandomAid (@catelyngrant) who gave me pretty free reign to do whatever I wanted. So I'm glad I was able to deliver something that I'm very happy with because she deserves it! I am also very partial to my Lysa Heroine Big Bang fic, 'The Girl in the Mirror'. I love writing Lysa and this was the most complete thing I ever wrote about her, and I loved getting to flesh out her backstory. Much as it is super fun to play in the AU sandbox, it is also a ton of fun to examine a part of canon that is left uncovered in the source material. Tagging @catelyngrant, @apprenticemockingbird, and anyone else who may be interested!

[nerves-nebula]

This might not be the most coherent, sorry. Please bare with me.

I think there’s something really beautiful about your art, even outside of its particular and fascinating style. You have a vulgar, ugly way (/pos) of designing characters; the way you draw both your human and non human characters makes me feel strangely seen, and has in the past year made me so much happier with my own body.

Looking at your drawings always makes me want to draw too! Everything you made, down to the simplest doodle, inspires me, and makes me feel like I could try do that too.

My fascination with your OCs might be less to do with any inherent story or detail to them (although the themes I know I’ll find and nuances in their design and personalities are something I can always rely on ur art for) and more to do with the fact it’s coming from you. That I trust you tell a story or tackle a topic in a way that I trust few other creators to. Not withheld by censorship or any strict format, you are a case and point to what I love about freelance artist who have the time and means to create. Anything you write and draw will hold leagues of depth. That when you present an idea it will be interesting, and my attention and focus will be captured in a way few things can manage anymore. Your art is so unabashed in its everything and it makes me want to scream.

Your unabashed approach to tackling dark themes in such an unveiled, first person account, way, has had me reflecting on my own experiences so many times. Your art has done more for me than attempts at therapy ever did, and while I’m sure that might be more to do with the way my brain works and how I heal and reflect, personally, it doesn’t change the fact that you helped me. You changed the shape of my art and my interests and the way I consume media. I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin and mind, now, and I owe so much of that to you. You truly are my favourite artist, and if I had money ever, I’d commission u so fucking often.

(Also your casual posts are funny and based a lot of the time, and I really like how organized your tags are too.)

You have a vulgar, ugly way (/pos) of designing characters; the way you draw both your human and non human characters makes me feel strangely seen,

:DDD so glad you guys get what I'm going for here.

awww oommggg haha awwww you guyssss you're making me blush <3

genuinely this is so sweet and kind I dunno what to do with it really. i feel like it deserves a long response to try to put into words how it's making me feel but I can't come up with anything haha. like, this is kinda what I do it for? i mean i mostly do it for myself but this is something I hope for when making art too so like. aoguashg.

I guess I'll just say that hearing that i can help people this much just by Posting On The Internet makes me glad I haven't killed myself yet and I'll leave it at that.

[beingdreeyore]

I haven't been around here much lately. Haven't been reading up on everyone or updating about my own world. I'm not really sure why. I'm just busy, I guess.

Life is quiet, but not in a bad way. There have been some setbacks, but they've been manageable. There have been some wins, they've been appreciated.

I passed another assessment last week. I have more results coming out this week. I've prepared to fail the one this week as I know how low the average mark is, how few people pass, and how much I struggled to keep time in the exam. I'm prepared for it as much as you can be. The anxiety will still hit as I'm opening the result and there will be a sense of defeat and disappointment when I finally see the mark there. But I have my plan in place already to resit. I know where I went wrong.

A cardigan I lusted for three Christmases ago was suddenly re-released in a limited run and I spent more than I should on shipping to Australia. I've worked nearly 20 hours overtime this week. I earned it. I'm not even sure that's really who I am or if it's even my style anymore, but I wanted it for so long... I guess deep down I'm still daydreaming about that white Christmas that is unlikely to happen.

My dance studio closed and my teacher deleted a select few of us off her social media. There was no explanation. It was like getting dumped or ghosted without explanation or warnings. I've spoken to others though and it's funny, the thing they always say to me is how shocked they are that I was one of those deemed unworthy given the unwavering loyalty I showed her. It hurt at first but I've made peace with it now. I thought we were friends, she has clearly communicated we aren't. Life goes on. I've started looking at new studios, mainly to force myself out of my bubble but I don't know if I'll go. I'm in the gym four or five days a week and I dance once a week at home. I'm content in the bubble for now. I'm not lonely, but I wonder if I should be. I even thought about joining the weightlifting club in the city, but I don't know... They have a masters team and it would probably be good to meet people. The bubble is so nice right now though.

I'm on track to finally (FINALLY) be done with my psychiatry training at the end of August next year. My compulsory five years of psychiatry training will be up then and by some miracle I may actually finish all the assessments on time (which is very much the exception. The typical time is about 7 years). So big decisions are coming for my life. Where to next...? I think I'll leave the city. There's nothing here for me anymore. My closest friends all live in other cities and other countries. I'm still single. Once the paperwork comes through saying I'm finished I'm free to work as much or as little as my financial situation dictates - the hospital no longer gets to have a say. And for the first time I have some say over which hospital it will be. It gets overwhelming to think about. I don't tell anyone because everyone immediately wants to know what my plans are. I don't know yet. My plan is to keep crawling to the finish line. Beyond that? I have no clue.

So I guess that's me? It's not a lot, but it's okay. There are no men. No prospects. No echoes from the past. It's quiet. And that's okay. It's peaceful. My standards have changed. My non-negotiables too. If that keeps me alone, that's okay. Although if you knew how long it had been since... Ahem... Well, actually, you probably do know. I wrote about it at the time. It was the last time I saw J.

So that's life. And it's not a lot. But it really is okay.

[innitmarvellous]

Like last year I tried to compile a rather sad little list of positive (and positive-ish) things and accomplishments of 2024. There really isn't much I could come up with, but better than nothing, I guess? Dunno if it's too early for it, but I can still add to this post if I can think of something else.

- I randomly decided that I wanted to learn to play an instrument & that's why I started with electric guitar in February and added electic bass in Autumn. I'm not particularly good at either of them which often frustrates me a lot, but I still don't regret trying it. Well, not much. I just hate having to deal with expectations aka "oh, so you want to play in a band?". No, I don't, because I started way too late for that and no band needs a shitty guitarist/bassist, lmao. (Oh, and I'm already planning to try and learn the violin next. I'm even worse at that, so there's a lot of fun to be had, except for the people who have to listen to my playing :D)

- I also learned how to crochet, after huge initial frustration. That's a new skill acquired, I guess? I did a lot of crochet stuff over the year, but unfortunately it doesn't feel that fulfilling because I'm not that good and also don't know anyone to gift the finished stuff too. The scarves and shawls are piling up in my wardrobe and it's so frustrating, lol. But at least I could make myself very ugly little HIGNFY and Beatles dolls :3

- I wrote more unsexy porn fics, which might not be good for the readers, but is kind of good for me as it doesn't feel very cringe anymore. Now I only need to find a way to make them at least a little sexy!

- I didn't have one of these massive self-hate attacks for a silly small reason, which was good. Well, I had several small moments, but I hated the big ones way more...

- I at least tried to accept some things about me, like being possibly asexual and getting over the fact that I hate my name. Unfortunately I only tried without much success, but the attempt has to count for something. Since I don't want to accept that I might be aspec I'm just thinking of myself as queer now to avoid having to think about it any further - which is also rather practical for gender reasons since I've got no idea about that either :/ (Although using it still makes me feel like an intruder into queer communities, but the term is useful for me...so a big sorry to anyone who's truly queer. Hope that's a forgivable sin.) And I'm trying to come up with an alternative name I can address myself with in my thoughts, lol.

- I tried to work on my self-acceptance. Again: I tried. Some things happened that made me doubt myself again when I thought I had made some progress, so I'm not really sure about how successful I was. I wish I would just figure out whether I deserve to feel better about myself, that would be a nice start. xD

- I decided to develop a taste of my own. Sounds weird and is something I should have done long ago since I'm fucking old, but...I often watched a show or read a book I didn't like simply because of things like: 'but a comedian I like said that's his favourite book!'. Well, and now I'm trying to tell myself: if our tastes align on something, very good. But if not, whatever.

- I'm still rather insane about HIGNFY and religiously watch at least one episode a day. Also, I had two nice and very long conversations with other fans on AO3 and these honestly gave me such a good time. Too bad they didn't last even longer, but the other people probably moved on to new fandoms and even so, I had a blast. (And of course I'm also still weird about Paul. If anything I got weirder about him. Just look at my fics in case I still haven't deleted them yet! Actually, no, please don't look, but you get what I mean.)

- Not an accomplishment, but I'm kind of happy that I got interested in The Beatles at the end of last year. I read so many books and stuff about them in 2024 and wrote fics and listened to the music (of course) and that usually was a source of happiness, so yeah. That was good :D

[chronicallyuniconic]

It's really hard to cope with all this.

Back when I was first diagnosed, I had so much grief for my past self and my past achievements versus my now uncertain future. Diagnosis ruled my life, it still does. I can't turn this off. At the age of 22, everything I'd achieved, was now pointless.

For the past few years, I've realised how much I've been stuck at that age, because I've been unable to put energy into achievements, into working, into living. The achievements I had, mean nothing without the person attached to them. Although I am a different person, it's not the one I aspired to be, this wasn't what it was supposed to look like, wasting away in isolation.

Now seem to be going through the same again, with epilepsy. Having to learn a new illness allover again. Figuring out what sets it off. Deciding if the symptoms I'm having are part of epilepsy, or is it my past diagnoses, maybe I'm just coming down with something.

Having to learn everything about an illness you thought you knew, but actually didn't, is exhausting, scary, an overload of information you're not even sure applies to you. But because doctors are so frustrating, you're forced to learn about it, noone tells you about living with it.

My GP appointment for the first seizure, was very much:

"you may have epilepsy, don't sleep on your front anymore because you might die, make sure you get at least 8 hours though, as sleep is important for epilepsy, not much i can do for your bitten tongue but take these meds and hopefully you won't have another."

That's it. That's my introduction, description and explanation of epilepsy.

--Imagine if they had listened when I said I was struggling with my sleep, I was literally wetting the bed and they just said I had an overactive bladder. I've been manipulated constantly into lessening the symptoms I have, and now I'm here--

Disappointing, worrying, frustrating, upsetting the people around you, because of the symptoms and diagnoses I deal with, is an extra layer of grief. I have to somehow support them too, when I'm actually terrified and there's nobody to support me through this either. What am I supposed to do?

There are so many limitations in the long list of bullshit I'm simply forced into coping with. Like a headache, you don't decide when it appears, it just does, but now I have to be mindful of ppls feelings aswell, when the seizures are random, unpredictable, out of my control.

I'm sat centred on a see-saw of symptoms, that should I tip too far on either side, I will fall, it will get worse, I am not in control.

People don't have patience, for my time, words, emotion, actions. No patience for me overall. If I complain, I seem to suddenly be "the most miserable person" when all I said was "I'm in pain today" because of a seizure, because I bit my tongue into bits.

I haven't done anything wrong, except have epilepsy.

[armpirate]

UNDER HIS SKIN || JJK || Ch. 23

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: They say there are two versions for every story, and it's important to hear both of them. Everybody is hearing your side of the story, but it's just fair to get to know his.

After breaking up with his girlfriend, the only thing he wanted was to have fun with no attachment. You wanted to get rid of your virginity, and he wanted to tick you off his list. What he didn't expect was getting so emotionally attached to you that he would regret the deal.

Warnings: Nude dry humping, dirty talk

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

I look at my reflection in the elevator's mirror when I get home, thinking about how Tae mocked me for this new hair color as soon as we got to the restaurant. Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking when I tinted it red, and the fact that this is just a consequence of that makes me want tear my hair apart. But then I remember how Y/n kept saying it looked good on me, and whether those words were genuine or a good attempt to make me feel better, it also helps me to find this new hair color quite appealing.

When I get out of the lift, I think she might not be here anymore. Probably she got bored, maybe her friends called her to hang out... which would also explain why she hasn't replied to my text yet. But when I cross the entrance door, and I see her head peeking up over the backrest of my coach, and I can't control the smile that's caused by the relief it causes me.

—You're here —I sigh, closing the door behind me.

I start taking my jacket off when her eyes land on me. And even if I can't see it, I can tell she's smiling behind the leather fabric of the sofa.

—You thought I'd leave?

—Nah —although the truth is that I was partly convinced she had left long ago—. But I'm happy to see you're here anyway.

Her eyes almost shut completely due to the big smile she keeps hiding, although she turns back to face the TV before I'm able to fully enjoy that sight.

—I sent you a pic of the tattoo —I mention, lying on the spot next to her—. You didn't see it?

—No, I haven't been on the phone today.

She lazily points to her phone, that's placed near the corner of the coffee table. It's something I already thought when I saw she hadn't been online all day, so I'm not really surprised by her answer.

—That sounds like you've been busy —seeing that her feet are resting on the edge of the table, I decide to join her—. What did you do?

—Not much —she shrugs—. I looked around the house, but found nothing interesting —she puckers her lips, making me chuckle due to the cute face she makes while thinking—; I watched a movie, too.

—What else? —I hit her side hopefully.

It doesn't take me much to know she hasn't done just that in the five hours I've been out. She looked around, watched a movie, and still didn't have time to reply to a text I sent just two hours ago? That, and how she's nervously biting her lower lip, while making sure her head doesn't make a wrong move to look up to me, is everything I need to know something else has happened while I was away. But I wait for her to bring it up.

In the little time we've been around each other, I learned that she is unable to keep some thoughts to herself. She tends to overthink and try to calm them down, but lately she's started to be more open. Always doing the same nervous lip biting and head tilting before she dropped the question.

—Leslie only wanted to apologize the other day?

Among every little thing she could be curious about, the mention of Leslie surprises me. I frown at her, hoping she explains what's up with that question. But, instead, she opens her eyes a bit more, insisting to get an answer from me.

—That's what's kept you busy all morning?

The light comment does nothing to her. Her look intensifies at time goes by, and I'm sure she won't say anything else until I finally give in.

—I thought that's what she wanted —I sigh, finally giving Y/n what she wanted—. That's what she said. But she kept saying how dumb she was, and how much she missed what we had —I grimace at my own words—. I didn't need her to tell me directly she wanted to come back. And I didn't like the direction the conversation was taking, so I left and texted you to meet up —I scratch my nape—. She's also been calling me almost every day, and has sent me texts trying to hang out.

Y/n nods, pressing her lips together again as she tries to process the information I've just given her. I didn't want her to overthink the night we made up, I just wanted to enjoy her company without her being insecure about the possibility of me going back to my ex. And right now I'm not really sure if it was a good idea to hide it from her that night.

—Sounds like a stalker —she murmurs.

—Sounds more like someone who's been dumped and thought her plan b would still be available for her —I click my tongue—. She'll get over it.

At least, I hope so after she was blocked.

Instead of going on with the conversation, there's silence. And I'm dumb enough to think it's over, letting myself get comfortable and relax, while resting my head on the backrest.

But she isn't done, she was just thinking about what to say next.

—You could've told me last night —she lets out a sigh.

—It was late, and I wanted to enjoy being with you after not seeing you for a week. I told you the only relevant thing for me from that night, which was Leslie apologizing —I try so hard to show I'm relaxed, when actually I'm scared of her getting mad at this whole situation—. I don't care whether she wants to come back or not, because I don't want to.

—You know, it'd have been nice just to be prepared when she showed up here today —she turns to me.

Why the fuck was Leslie here?

I frown, looking at her confused, while she's just staring at me concerned.

—What was she doing here?

—She came here looking for you —she shrugs—, said you two still had some things to talk about.

If I thought I was clear enough with Leslie, then I was wrong. So now, directly saying I don't want to go back with her, translates in I still have some things to discuss with her regarding us? Somebody should've warned me...

—I thought what I told her the last time would be enough to make her step back —I sit properly next to her—. That's everything she said? —looking into her eyes, I waits for her answer.

—She didn't say much more —she shrugs again—. Not like she needed to say much more anyway.

—I swear there's nothing going on. What I told you is everything there is to it.

—Okay —she looks away—. There's no need to get so worked up over it. Even if there was something to it, you can do whatever you want.

—There is. Because I care about what you think.

We stare into each other's eyes for a long minute, before she speaks again just to repeat what she's just said.

—That's great, but doesn't change the fact that you could do whatever you want.

And for some reason, those words annoy the fuck out of me. I know what she means, I know she's trying not to cross boundaries, but what the fuck she means with "I can do whatever I want"?

—Not again —I stand up, annoyed with her and annoyed with myself, going back and forward my own tracks—. I can, but I still care about your opinion. And that's why I texted you that night. You're the only person I can think of right now, so I don't care about what Leslie wants.

—And I'm just saying I have no say on anything.

And I'm really wondering if she's this thick on purpose, or if she genuinely isn't able to see that right now I'm only crazy for her.

—But you do —I kneel in front of her, trying to get all her attention—. You're unbelievable —a small chuckle leaves my lips—. I told you I'm into you, into you only, and your head is still spinning around trying to convince yourself you have no say on what I do. You do, so don't tell me I can do whatever I want.

She's going to answer before even trying to process what I've just said. And it's obvious, by the look on her face, that she seems to finally be getting what I'm trying to say now. Y/n looks down at me, eyebrows slightly frowned, while her lips part and momentarily shake, before she starts speaking.

—Well... —she licks her lips, and lowers her body a little— Thank god you said that, because I didn't mean it at all.

I sigh hard, deep inside. A light feeling of relief invades my body when she says that with a shy smile.

—I know —I lie, silently chuckling. I actually was shitting my pants thinking she'd ask why I was even thinking that way—. Now, honest opinion on what you think I should do?

—There isn't much you could do right now —she puckers her lips, thinking—. You made clear you were happy right now —I nod—, you've been avoiding her —god knows I've tried my best—, you also told her you're seeing someone...

Oh... Of course Leslie told her that.

—I knew you'd bring that up —I let a mischivious smile adorn my face—. Yeah, great girl indeed —I tease her.

—Are you going to talk in third person about me now? —she raises one of her eyebrows, adding up to her sassy tone.

—Who said it was you? —I tease again, using the same tone.

—Is it not? —she crosses her arms over her chest.

He presses his lips together, trying to -needlessly- hide the smile that's forming on his face while we keep eye contact. He scrunches his nose again before looking away.

—I'm the great girl —I confirm, relaxing on the couch while letting my body fall back until it hits the backrest.

I feel like there are a lot of things that I should say right now, it just seems like the right moment to do so, but I hold back. I think it'll be enough with the conversation we've had just now, and seeing her positive answer is enough for me.

Trying to avoid my long tongue from running free after looking into her eyes for a little longer, I get up from the floor. I'm not really hungry -honestly, I ordered the sandwich thinking it'd be smaller, but that thing was an abomination. I know she hasn't had lunch, most probably, though. So I'll make something for her either way.

✸ ✸ ✸

We don't do anything special for the rest of the afternoon, we just lie on the couch, watching the first show that popped in my TV screen after I opened Netflix. Honestly, I wasn't even planning on watching this -basically because it seemed one of those cringey shows that drops dumb jokes for no reason at all. But any excuse is good to be around her, at this point.

When I sneakily turn to her, I catch her looking at me, but it doesn't seem like she's looking at me. Her eyes are lost while her mind is working on something else, and I just happen to be in the middle of her field of view.

—What are you thinking?

Dragged back to this moment, she blinks a few times, finally looking into my eyes and paying attention to me. Although it doesn't last much. Y/n moves her eyes away from mine fast, trying to keep her gaze somewhere else.

—Umm —she looks at the TV—. I was thinking... of a way to tell you this show is awful.

—I heard you laughing just ten minutes ago —I fake amusement, throwing my head back to the backrest.

—Yes, by how bad it is —she replies back—. Let's choose something else —she tries to reach the remote right after.

Finding a new entertainment that's actually worth it, I start teasing her by moving the remote away every time she tries to reach it. But of course she fights back, finding weak spots on my ribs that makes my whole body squirm and flinch when she pinches it.

—Give it to me. C'mon.

I'm so concentrated on dodging her fingers, that I'm not aware both of our bodies are at the edge of the couch until it's too late. Y/n makes one final move that makes her lose her balance, but she doesn't fall by herself, she drags me along by grabbing the collar of my white t-shirt.

—Look what you've done —I accuse her, placing my hands on both sides of her head so I don't rely the weight of my body on her.

—You should've given me the remote. Technically, this is your fault.

—Is it?

It must be the tone I use, or the way I keep switching where I draw my eyes to between her lips and her eyes. When I look at them again, they have a darker tone, and when I look down at her lips, she's licking them, making them shine under the light after coating them with a thin coat of spit. I move her hair away from her face, brushing some locks away.

—I'll take the blame for it, then —I whisper.

I swear every time we kiss it feels completely different. The way her lips suck on mine, and her tongue licks my lower lip drives me insane every time. She moves her thighs under me, placing them around my hips so I can place myself more comfortably between them.

And the huge mistake that is...

My body fights itself, the little common sense I have left against the primitive I need to bury myself deep inside her, when she starts rolling her hips against my growing bulge.

She doesn't give me time to stop anything, or ask her if she's alright, her voice drops those words that leave me shocked for a few seconds:

—I want to do it.

I move my head back, trying to get a better view of her face. I should be feeling great after hearing her say that, it's exactly why all of this started. But instead of letting my body run wild with her offer, I think of what her thoughts could be after we're done tonight.

Losing her first time after making out on the floor because we're both horny and bored? Doesn't seem like the best start, and I definitely don't want her thinking it could've been a way better experience in a few weeks. She's waited a lot already, and I think I should be at the same level of her expectations.

—I'm ready —she repeats—. I want to do more.

—Babe, I'm sure you are —I try to calm her down, rubbing my thumb over her belly. —. But it's your first time, it should be more special than this.

She's disappointed, and she tries to hide it by nodding several times and looking somewhere else. Masturbating each other? We've done that a few times already. Oral sex? It's usually what comes after the masturbation, and I completley understand she's eager for the whole thing after a few months.

If only there was a way to give her the level of intimacy she wants, without doing anything she'd regret...

As I try to find a way to get her to feel better, I thank god for my twisted and horny mind.

—Let's go.

I get up from the floor, helping her to stand up by pulling her arm. It genuinely seems like I've found the biggest discovery by the way I drag her to the bedroom.

—I thought you said you wanted it to be special.

—And I stand by that —I turn to her—. If you want to do it, we'll do it right now and here. But I'm asking you to wait, so I can make it worth it.

Giving her one last chance to choose among the options she has, she clicks her tongue and looks at me with curious eyes.

—What was your idea then?

—I want you so bad, cocktease —I play with the button of my pants—. Only thing I was able to think about today was you wearing this shirt —my fingers move down her zip slowly—. Waiting for me here... You have no idea what you do to me —I whisper on her lips.

Her determined hands move to my jeans, unzipping them. But instead of pushing them down, she sneaks her hands under my t-shirt, lifting the fabric while her fingers make shivers run through my spine as they go up on my torso.

—Should I keep it on? —she teases me, while her hands ghost near my nipples.

—Please, don't.

She giggles when I answer that way, and that sexy smile only urges me to lean over her so I could kiss her neck while fighting with the thick fabric of my jeans to get rid of them. I lose my balance a few times as I take them off, and she laughes at that.

—You're laughing? —I try to sound as offended and challenging as possible, but doesn't seem like that intimidates her anymore— Let's see if you keep laughing.

I bite her lower lip, leaving her eager for another sloppy kiss when I take my t-shirt off and let my body fall over the matress, crawling until I'm sitting in the middle with my back resting against the headboard.

—Take everything off.

I regret saying those words as soon as she starts shwoing off her soft skin, being incredibly right under the lamp light of my nightstands. Her perked nipples have me licking my lips unconsciously, remembering intensely the rugosity of her hard buttons on my tongue.

—Everything —I remind her when I see she's still keeping her panties.

—You, too —her eyes point to my boxers.

We're both so desperate to get on each other's skin that we waist no time getting rid of the last pieces of fabric.

—Come here.

Y/n crawls on the bed, until she finally reaches me, kneeling in between my thighs. Maybe I'm a bit rough by the way I cup her cheeks and link our lips into a short sloppy kiss, but I just can't resist her.

—You're so perfect —I growl, lips still wet with our spit—. So fucking beautiful —I pecks her lips—. You trust me?

—Yes.

Not wanting to move away from her, I move our bodies over the mattress, until she's finally stradling my belly.

—Remember when you rode my thigh?

—Yeah.

—Do the same thing on my cock.

She looks confused, but still tries to place herself in a way to be able to do what I'm asking her. Her hands shake doubtful, and she moves her head trying to find the right angle a few times.

—Like this —I stop her, with my hand on her hip.

Trying to make my dick lie flat on my stomach, I hold it by the tip while I guide her body by the hip until I can feel the wetness from her pussy coating my shaft. I mark the initial rhythm, with both hands now on her hips so I can move her body on my cock. I do it a few times, slow, feeling her pussy clench every time I push her back.

I can tell she's nervous over being on top right now, but I know she's ready to try when both of her hands find support on my abs. Slowly, my hands stop adding pressure on her body, just to find out she's been moving her hips on her own. Her body swings with the rhythm I marked at the beginning, coating my balls with her juices before she's back on my tip. But it only takes her a few seconds riding me that way to start moving faster.

—That's it —I moan—. Make me feel it.

I thought I'd be ready for the image I have ahead of me right now, but nothing would've prepared me for the way her body moves, with her tits bouncing in the air before she allows her hands get a hold of them. And all of that while she's giving me one of the dirtiest, yet -ironically- the most innocent, look she has ever given me. And fuck, those moans and gasps that make my dick leak and twitch with every stroke of her folds.

She can't be real.

But while I admire her, I notice something is off with her. Her eyes are closed, and her head is slightly thrown back, but her eyebrows are frowned and her head is tilting while her lips pucker in disgust.

Not again.

Supporting my body with one of my elbows, I reach to her cheek with my free hand.

—Babe, look at me.

I can't explain what I feel when she opens her eyes and everything seems to be okay.

—Are you okay? —she nods— Sure? —she nods again.

—It's just... I'm not sure if I'm doing it okay.

But I know she's lying. She's always been vocal whenever she was unsure of whether I liked what she did or not. Not to mention the full concentration look she has plastered on her face whenever that happens. I also know she might've lied because she doesn't want to ruin the whole mood, and I don't want to make her feel that way either.

—You're doing great —I assure her, kissing her shoulder—. Keep moving like that —my hands go back to her hips.

Acting as if she needed help, I go back at guiding her moves, moving her in a way that her clit can feel more pressure with every stroke.

Suspicious of all the problems coming whenever she closes her eyes, I scold her when I realize she's about to do it again.

—Keep your eyes on me —I order her—. I want to see your eyes when you cum.

She digs her nails on my skin after a few more movements, and those sexy moans that comes out of her mouth, and her needy gasps trying to reach her high, are the last thing I need before I cum with her, spilling all my load over my abs.

She lowers her moves when she seems to be aware of my orgasm, but I don't allow her to stop, controlling her hips, making her rub against my cock as fast as she's able to. But I'm also greedy, and not only I want her orgasm, I want her to get it by herself while my hands enjoy every single spot in her body.

—Cum on my cock —I encourage her—. Let me feel how much you liked it.

Her speed goes crazy after that, holding onto my arms so she's focusing completely on the tingling feeling that's forming in her pussy, and infecting her whole body. With a hand on her jaw, I force her to look up to me, opening her eyes surprised by the sudden touch just when she was about to close them again.

I make my best at looking after her once we're both done, avoiding her resting her body on mine so she doesn't get full of the mess I made. And once we both are clean enough, and back on the bed, I don't even process it before I pull her closer to my body, feeling her rest her head on my chest.

—How was it? —she asks shyly.

—Tonight it was confirmed you showed up in my life just to kill me —I chuckle.

She's either a goddess that came to pay me for all good I've done in my previous life, or she's the biggest punishes I have to deal for the mistakes I've done in the past. Either way, she's insanely -and dangerously- perfect.

We stay in silence for a few seconds, allowing my brain to come up with a risky -yet exciting idea.

—Let's go on a date —I suggest.

—Hmm? —she opens her eyes, looking up to me again.

—A date. Tomorrow night.

—I'm working tomorrow night.

—I'll pick you up when you finish your shift —I explain her—. Are you with Tam tomorrow?

—Nope.

—Then it's settled —I hold her tight—. Do you want to?

Yeah... It's lovely and all. But I didn't even try to think about the small detail that she should want it just as much as I do. Imagine if after coming up with the idea, she says she doesn't want to do it.

—A date as in?

—As in two people that clearly are into each other and want to do something different. What do you think?

She nods fast, with that cute smile that urges me to hide her tight to protect her from everything that's wrong.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

That image of a very laden-down travel bike in the middle of fucking nowhere-ass scenic desert bought back some old memories.

(Going to be polite and put this garbage behind a cut:)

I haven't talked about that guy, the most reckless and fucked-up of my Muses, to anyone in a very long while--and I kinda forgot that there were some bits of that whole... collision of our lives... that weren't completely awful and were kind of romantic. If you squinted real hard and ignored all the red flags. The long stretches of scenic deserts and beaches from the back of a bike. The smell of motorcycle leathers, sweat, and sex. His slender waist wrapped in my arms. Getting away from everything and everyone else just to cleave to each other.

From the outside, I'm sure it looked like a very cliché "buttoned-up nerd cracks and dates bad boy with a motorcycle" scenario but that really wasn't how it went. I fell in love with his writing, with what seemed to me at the time like a sensitive, creative, romantic soul suffering from a wound to the heart. Which is also a cliché, but a different one at least. He had a way with words, which he cranked up to eleven when he started writing to me.

That relationship was a huge fucking mistake for so many reasons (I ended up with PTSD when he stalked me for over a year after I broke it off). And yet I can't even imagine how I might have turned out differently had I not been naive enough to let him into my life to begin with. Where would I be today in terms of understanding my sexuality, my gender, my kinks, my entire shadow-self if he hadn't offered to be the literal site of my explorations? He was just the worst possible person to find at that major inflection point in my life where I was grappling with what I wanted to do with myself and who the hell I even was. That vulnerability was what attracted him in the first place, I'm sure. He had a knack for finding people in their moments of weakness, as a lot of other people can attest.

A vampire metaphor would be entirely appropriate for him. Not only for how he latched onto people and drained the life out of them, but also because he was in some ways my sire, my initiator to the dark side. He'd be so fucking chuffed to hear me admit that if he were still alive, but he's proper dead now. His entire life was one long disaster and he hurt almost everyone he knew in some lasting way, so my compassion for him is limited. And yet, I'm not sure if I'd ever really say I wish that relationship had never happened (although I am VERY glad I ended it when I did... shoulda done that sooner in fact). Years later and it's still weird to me to hold these two conflicting ideas at once. It was easier to write it all off and pretend to not feel anything about it.

That relationship was so fucked up it made me even less normal than usual about the Muse who came after... which led to me vowing to not make these sorts of feelings anyone else's problem anymore. That's a lot easier to do when they're not part of your social circle. Having a distant Muse this time around is kind of a relief.

[grcetxt]

GOS2 opening title analysis

spoilers ig?? idk

AAAAA S2 CONTENT YIPEEE

so, again, this is gonna be long, rambling, and will prolly make 0 sense so stick with me here I'm feeling a lot of feelings. im gonna go thru each thing in as much depth as possible so buckle up, this is gonna be like twice the size of my poster + hillywood dissection.

OK THE WAY CROWLEY LITERALLY CRAWLED UP FROM HELL TO MEET W AZ IS LIKE :((( and like on their way out from the tunnel thing I saw like a figure with wings?? I reckon it might be Micheal (the angel not the sheen) but I'm not 100% sure. whoever it is, they're holding a box or smth?? so do with that what you will idk

Im pretty convinced we might be getting Moses stuff, cuz the shining light at the top of the hill? seems like mt siani (sianai? idk) and the fact we haven't seen that type of light before and Moses is supposesdly the only person to have a direct face-to-face interaction with god makes me think we'll be getting stuff from that era (catholic upbringing coming in handy for knowing this stuff) ALTHOUGH, there are lots of animals, and they seem to be like in pairs as well?? so maybe more Noah and the arc? which like MAYBE ALL THE FANFICS ABT THEM COMFORATING EACH OTHER ON THE ARC WILL COME TRUE??? YIPEE!!

ok everything bursting into flames is a lil random but after a while of thinking, maybe sodom and gamora? (idk how to spell that either) which like, MORE SANDALPHON?? Don't get me wrong, hate the guy, he's awful and creepy, but he's SUCH a good villain. the actor doesn't get enough props online for how well he plays him. sandalphon had like 3, maybe 4 mins of screen time in s1? and from that, he's become one of the most HATED characters in the entire fandom. That is just like, wow, well done, I hate the character you play, but that's because your acting is amazing. ANYWAYS, sodom and gamora. aziraphales gonna be having some *feelings* about that, because why would heaven hurt all those people? even if they were sinners? similar to noahs arc situation with Crowley giving the most comfort this time <3

WOOOO GOTHIC SHIT!! the pickled herring cart makes a return and it is as confusing as ever. they're in a graveyard, so that's fun times. maybe more hell? cuz that's where they met up when the antichrist got delivered. anyways, does anyone know the period this is meant to be in? it's gone out of my head. anyways, I tried looking up pickled herring carts to see if they had any significance thru history but na. like they were there, and popular, but no, no huge significance. ALSO, in the graveyard, they go past a gravestone with 'every day' written on it??? girl wtf does that mean?? the running theories I have so far are that it's either like, the death of the everyday, meaning that what they used to do (hate each other??) isnt.. happening anymore?? idk?? or that it's just Neil being edgy and emo. my bets on the latter (love u mr. gaiman <3) ALSO ALSO OH MY FUCKING GOD?? Another one of the gravestones says JANE AUSTEN ON IT!! ARE WE GETTING JANE AUSTEN CONTENT??? OMFG??? YIPPEE!! maybe we'll get to see where az gets some of his first editions from :D aslo rq, religious imagery in the background, an angel carrying a cross, more heaven looming over Az?? ALSO HOLY SHIT?? I just accidentally paused it at onde of the graves and i swear it says 'here lies *insert another couple words here* BEELZEBUB?? HUHHH?? is that gonna be the explination for beelzebubs new corparation?? but that wouldnt make any sense?? idk atp but that gravestone DEFFIENTLY SAYS BEELZEBUB

(if you think this is long pls know we're 22 seconds into a 1:44 video, i want lying when I said this was gonna be BEEFY)

SO. HELL. WOOO!! more hell content which could go one of three ways. either we get more goofy Crowley giving more presentations, CAN I GET A WAHOO?? or we get him being given more assignments and we get more of an idea of the whole structure of hell, uncomfortableness but nothing horrendous. OR ALL THE ANGST FICS COME TRUE AND WE SEE CROLWEY GETTING BEAT INTO A PULP BY HIS SUPERIORS!!! maybe all three! can't wait to see :D but as much as my angst-craving self would love to see the last one, I think the reality is it's gonna be the first two. it looks like there's a desk and office chairs, so we'll probably be getting scenes that are like the equivalent to what we see of aziraphale and the archangels in s1

so we already knew we were getting more ww2 scenes but.. MORE WW2 SCENES WAHOO!! maybe we're getting post-church scenes? tender love confessions in the back of the Bentley? or maybe angst? maybe edosian orchids 901s (I LOVE THEM SM) fic about Crowley having a breakdown after being forced to report on the horrors of war will come true? or maybe one of them has to conscript cuz... idk dude just cuz. The bomber plane makes me think of the blitz so maybe Crowley is comforting Azi while they hide from the bombs in the shop? whatever happens, ill love it :D

a quick google told me fuck all about the ladies of camelot, just that theyre often overshadowed by the guys. WHICH LIKE WTF?? anyways, apparently its like king arthur times, so maybe we see the arrangement being born?? YIPEE. other then that, they seem to be like a dance group? so like, idk? could be suppourting acts maybe? could the merlin fandom help with this maybe? whats goin on with the ladies of Camelot my dudes.

MAGIC AZIRAPHLE MAGIC AZIRPAHLE MAIGIC AHVDSAKJ YAY!! I love the idea of aziraphale pulling a snake from his hat as part of the act and Crowley pretending to be pissed but internally freaking the fuck out because 'HOLY SHIT HES HOLDING ME HES HOLDING ME HES SO SOFT WHAT THE FUCK'

I HAVE. SO MANY. THOUGHTS. ON. SPACE. SO, SO HEAR ME OUT RIGHT, SO, the only time space has been mentioned really is when Crowley was talking abt how he made certain planets and the Alpha Centauri stuff. SO MAYBE WE'LL BE GETTING SOME PRE-FALL CROWLEY?? cuz like, the only thing close to space is heaven, but that's meant to be transcendent, and by definition exists outside of space and time. SO THEREFORE, PRE-FALL CROWLEY?? PLEASE?? NEIL IM BEGGING, IM ON MY KNEES, PLEASE!!

the... the hearts.. the love hearts.. the.. the hearts falling from the sky when they.. when the.. when... DNCBKHFVYEWIQUKLDWHJNX I'm feeling such normal feelings rn haha. anyways they're in love and :D the way they're sat on the roof together as well? like aw :( the jukebox and the vinyls (are those vinyls?) make me think more 60's content? and the Bentley as well? friendly reminder that Crowley goes too fast for him!! maybe we'll see him drinking himself into oblivion after he gets brutally rejected by Az :D oo or maybe him contemplating offing himself with the holy water! or maybe more lighthearted stuff, like the discovery of the queen curse :)

(also OO ninas shop!)

the lifts make me think more heaven content, which we knew was happening anyway but I'm thinking more Az giving reports and getting verbally abused and humiliated :D also, the steam makes me think industrial revolution for some reason? idk tho

THE ARRIVAL. is that the title for ep 1? Probably. but on the posters there's like a locked box? (getting fnaf 4 flashbacks) i've no clue what that means, like at all. but its prolly smth!

and thats it! this will probably be updated and edited, but these are all my thoughts as of the day it was released.

if you read this, there must be smth wrong with you mentally, but me too, me too. give me any thoughts you might have, ill be really interested to hear them! (these guys have consumed my brain)

friendly reminder that it'll be quiet, gentle, and romantic. and they like holding hands!