#although I already knew of them in like 2012/2013 cause I had friends who liked them

[lavender-phannie]

poll for fun and cause im curious!

I MEANT TO WRITE 2012 OR EARLIER BUT I CANT EDIT THE POLL

anyway i couldnt fit all the years in so if you started watching before 2012 then leave the year in the tags :)

(if you became a fan and then took a break and then came back then choose the year you originally became a fan)

[har-rison-s]

My MARVEL Journey

A/N: Hi, yes. No one answered if they'd like to hear/read it, but I will put it here anyways. It's long, it's very long. But I hope you read this. This brought me to tears. Enjoy.

My first Marvel-related memory was probably when Captain America: The First Avenger came out. A picture of Steve Rogers shirtless was in the magazine and I laughed at it. I don’t remember the particular reason, but something about ‘who the hell’s going to go see this movie? only because of the shirtless guy, i’m sure’. Yes, yes, Rūta, you’re sure.

It was 2012 and the movie Avengers had come out. Me and my dad were sitting in a cafeteria, looking at the small printed repertoire of the nearest cinema, wanting to see Avengers. But, alas, I was too young. I was only eleven at the time and the movie had an age restriction, 12+. Made me a bit confused and I was often told I look older than I am, but dad didn’t want to break any rules. So, we went home.

I don’t know when exactly this was, but we were at home and I was doing something on my own, dad was in his room and I heard that he was watching a movie. So I ran up the stairs to see what he was watching. The Avengers. 

I sat down next to him, having no idea what was happening in the movie, and watched a fragment of the movie with him. At the time, I really liked Chris Hemsworth and Thor, one of my first celebrity crushes. So dad asked me “You like that Thor guy, right?” At which I smiled and said yes. Eleven-year-old me, oh my god, that is so funny to me now. 

When Iron Man 3 came out, I was thankfully above the restricted age and dad took me to the cinema to see Iron Man 3. My english wasn’t that good then, so I understood like 40% of what everyone was saying. But I remember liking the movie a lot, it felt fresh and new and I really liked the humor and Tony and Harley’s interactions. Towards the end of May 2013, at some point I had drawn Iron Man’s hand with the light and showed it to my dad. He liked it so much that he took a photo and posted it to his Instagram. Or was that 2014? I actually can’t remember.

Then, sometime later in the year, we went to see Thor: The Dark World. One of MCU’s worst movies, but at the time I liked it, cause, of course, I liked Loki and Thor a lot, and their actors. 

That’s when I think my involvement with Marvel really started. I used to draw Loki and Thor in my notebooks, save photos and memes of them in my first touch-screen phone and put them as wallpapers. There was one really good drawing of Loki I did, I think I still have it somewhere. But really, for my drawing skills at 12-years-old, it was exceptionally good. His face was very detailed and similar to the real photo. 

I used to watch a lot of videos of Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth on my laptop, I had so many photos of them saved, and I used to watch Thor: the Dark World and Avengers all the time, not understanding a thing or what’s happening, what’s the storyline. All I knew is that I loved Loki and he was my first favourite Marvel character. Some time passed until I got more in depth with his character. I was young and silly, okay? Forgive me.

Next thing, I found out my classmate also liked Loki and the MCU movies. I was happy I found someone with the same interest, a bit unhappy that it wasn’t my best friend. But I knew she’d come around, and I had my fun. 

Spring 2014 came around and me and my dad were going to New York City. My god, I couldn’t wait. I’d wanted to go there since I could remember. Around the time we went there, the press tour for Captain America: The Winter Soldier had started and I had thrown Marvel to the side a little. 

Me and my dad went to a comic book store in NYC, not so far from Central Station, because he wanted to look for Transformer comics and I wanted to find a Loki comic for my classmate. The comic shop was small, but god was it cool. It had very steap stairs, you had to climb them to get there. And they were narrow and someone wanted to come down when we were going up, so it was quite uncomfortable. But the comic store was heaven for me.

It had action figures, pop! toys with the bobby heads, Mjlonir!!! and Loki’s helmet!! and Cap’s shield!! In actual life size. That was cool. There were toys from CATWS, and I told dad “Oh, the new Captain America movie is coming out sometime around now.” cause I remember seeing it on twitter and seeing a snippet of the trailer. I marvelled at the toys, looking at them. Natasha, Steve, the Winter Soldier, Falcon, Nick Fury. It was very exciting. There were probably other promotional things except for the toys, but I didn’t see them (or just don’t remember them). 

Dad got his transformer comic, and I got my Loki comics, and we left. I think we spent from 30 minutes to an hour there. No regrets. 

A week, I think, after returning from NYC, me and my best friend went to see Captain America: the Winter Soldier. I still didn’t quite know what was happening, but I remember seeing the trailer and thinking ‘how epic is this!! some mysterious guy, cap looking very attractive, natasha having a great haircut, i’m excited!!’. And that’s where the real ‘trouble’ began. 

I saw Bucky and Steve’s friendship somehow, for an unknown reason, very similar to my own, with my friend. I don’t know why, it just seemed so familiar, so well-known. None of us have been brainwashed and made an assasin, but I think already then we shared the same deep connection as Steve and Bucky and we still do. Maybe that’s why I saw a familiarity there - I’d do anything, go against anyone for my best friend, just like Steve did for Bucky. 

I had so many pictures of Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan and Scarlett Johansson in my phone, I changed my wallpaper every other day, very often. I watched their previous, non-marvel movies all the time. And then Scarlett’s “Lucy” came out and me and my best friend watched it in poor quality on my iPhone 4. We also watched CATWS in poor quality on my iPhone 4. How could we do that?? On such a small screen?? Was desparation the reason? Who knows. 

Anyways, I was obssessed with Marvel then. Couldn’t wait for the next Avengers and Captain America movies, didn’t even know what they’d be about. Then, I had started to see into the characters and my english had improved, so I started to understad everything better.

I remember one evening after seeing CATWS, we spent like 30 euros on groceries to make dinner and spend some time together, and we were making that dinner and then watching the first Captain America movie. It was one of the best nights of my life.

Spring 2014 is still the favourite time of my life, because it gave me so much. So many new people, characters, discoveries, books, travels, friends, etc. I loved that period in my life, all of the first half of 2014. If I could travel in time, I would go and live in that time for as long as I could, being the same age as I was then. I wouldn’t necessarily want to live there as myself like I am now, I’d like to be as young and weird as I was then. 

Every spring, I am reminded of 2014’s spring. The smell of fresh rain plus the smell of blooming lilac and lingon. The music I listened to then, the places I was at most often then, the smells and feelings of spring. It’s interesting that spring reminds me of that particular year’s spring, not other years. It is somehow best settled in my memories and my heart. 

I will say that Captain America: the Winter Soldier changed my life. It did, and it’s not an exaggaration. This movie and the characters and the actors provided something of an escape for me. From what? I don’t know, really, but they were my home. Made me feel accepted. And I started to connect with people on Instagram and Tumblr through Marvel and it gave me a community I was accepted in, I was finally a part of. I hadn’t found that kind of thing until then. I hadn’t found a place for myself until I discovered the Marvel fanbase. And it’s the best fandom I’ve ever been a part of, the most true and loving and accepting and understanding people. The only haters in the fanbase are the directors and script-writers for the movies ;)

2014 was a very colorful year for me, my interests changed and came and went, but Marvel was a constant interest for me. It was always there, always somewhere on the side. I got a Captain America beanie and a shirt for Christmas, from my dad. Still one of my favourite Christmas gifts ever.

2015 had come around and I had changed as a person, a lot, and I wouldn’t say for the better. I was very stuck on something, stuck in an unlikable version of myself, and it was strange suddenly to communicate and be with people around, in groups. But I managed. I got a Captain America wallet for my 14th birthday that year. And I still have it, although it’s broken and wore-down, but now I have another Marvel wallet. 

There was a youth film jury thing happening on a May Sunday, which was also the day me and my dad went to see Avengers: Age of Ultron. I agree, not one of Marvel’s best movies, but I liked it. The movie was funny, full of love and action, and very… discovering, as well. The movie showed each character’s fears and doubts about themselves, what they think is the worst about themselves. And that’s a strong move, to show the heroes’ weaknesses. I’ve always liked that. When a movie/tv show shows the main character’s real personality, their weaknesses, fears, the things that make them human, just like me. And it means a lot. To know that heroes like Natasha Romanoff, a genius phylanthropist like Tony Stark, a super-man like Steve Rogers and a god like Thor have a weak spot and are still humans, that they still feel what regular people do. 

The similarities I can draw between myself and Steve Rogers, for example, is a) having a skill for motivational speeches, b) crossing borders and breaking rules for our best friend, c) standing by what we believe in and not giving into anyone, d) we’ll do what we have to, even if everyone else says it’s wrong, but we know it’s not. The similarities between myself and Tony Stark are a) we’re both geniuses in some ways, b) we’re geniuses who can’t sleep, c) we’re geniuses who are overlooked by most people, what we do for ourselves and for others, our friends and family is overlooked and unnoticed by others, d) we know what’s the right thing to do, e) we’re capable of more than we think (I hope). 

I don’t think I have any similarities with Thor or Hawkeye or Banner. With Natasha… I just might. We’re both secretive about ourselves, about what’s happening inside, about what we’re hurting. Also we both know what we have to do, we also know that if we don’t do it, nobody else would. We both make sacrifices.

Age of Ultron was a fun time, it was some sort of highlight of the journey, well, one of the highlights. So many funny videos, so many interviews and events and comic con panels. Oh, and the credits of the movie! The sculpture of the Avengers and Ultron and his soldiers was so beautiful, I loved it. Still one of my favourite MCU credits.

Never around that time, or in 2014, or in 2013, had I thought that the Avengers movies would end at some point. Sure, I thought about the Captain America franchise - how many movies can you make? What are the Avengers going to do in the next movie? You know, stuff like that, but I never gave it more thought than that. My mind never really went there. I was too hyped about the movies coming out constantly, I was excited and couldn’t wait for each movie. My best friend reminded me on the night of Endgame premiere how she recalls me being so excited for every new movie Marvel had coming out, I think I can remember hyping the movies up, ranting happily and just being giddy and over-all excited, telling her my opinions and stuff, you know, like a true fan. 

At the end of 2015, the trailer for Captain America: Civil War had come out. And the excitement grew, cause you know I’d see Steve and Bucky together again. I couldn’t wait!! 

And, of course, you had to choose either if you were Team Iron Man or Team Cap, before the fans even knew what was happening. All you knew was that Steve and Tony were indifferent. Well, they couldn’t show more, otherwise they would spoil the whole plot. 

I was literally the only one who was on Team Cap in all my class and my friends, everybody else was on Team Iron Man. But, you know, as our dear friend Steve Rogers, I stood my ground and didn’t falter. Captain was always my favourite and I was more a fan of him than any other Avenger. You know, when you’ve been a fan of Captain America for three years, you can’t choose  Team Iron Man. 

Even my best friend was Team Iron Man. One day, we were staying in line at the school cafeteria and she just said “You know, but Steve is old.” Which is one hell of an argument, I laughed in ehr face and could still do it. It’s just so funny. Yeah, okay, Tony wasn’t frozen in the ice for 70 years, but it’s no argument. 

We went to see CACW on the same day we tried the black face mask for the first time. Our faces were extremely red, no matter how much make-up we put on. But I think it went off after a while. We went to the premiere, it was the first time we were in the new SCAPE auditorium. It was h u g e, the biggest 3D auditorium in the Baltic countries. I think it was the first time it was opened or at least the first week, I don’t know, maybe that’s incorrect, but I hadn’t been there before. We sat in the middle, and there was a girl with a Cap t-shirt next to us, and turned out my best friend knew her somehow, but I don’t know about that. 

It was honestly, a whole experience. While the movie meant a lot to me emotionally, CACW as well as CATWS were comic book movies as much as they were political thrillers. Brilliantly done, perfect actors, good plots and turns and twists, great characters, cinematography = brilliant, the music = well written and fitting to all characters and their storylines. 

I went to Civil War with one of my best friends, who is also my neighbour, and as strange as it seems since we’ve been friends since 2008, that was the first and only (yet) time we went to a movie together. And we were texting before the movie and talking about which tram to take and I asked her which team she’s on, of course, expecting her to be on Team Iron Man as everyone else. But she wasn’t! Finally someone on Team Cap!! I was so happy, haha. I was glad I wasn’t alone. It was cool, going to the movies with her. And it was only two days after I first saw CACW. 

2016 was also the year Batman vs Superman came out, and Suicide Squad. BvS didn’t suck as much as SS did. God, it couldn’t live up to the hype. But I liked Batman vs Superman, I really liked the movie. I saw it twice, once with my best friend and once with my dad. I also saw Civil War twice in the theater, but altogether I’ve seen the movie probably about 200 times. It’s meditative to me, and each time I watch it, I spot something new in the charaters and the storyline. I watch it when I’m sick, when I’m at home and lazying around. I love it. Probably one of my favourite Marvel movies.

Later in May 2016, my classmate was calling me and asking if I wanted an Iron Man shirt. “It’s red, it’s big, wait, I’ll send you a picture”. So she did and I said ��yes, of course’! It cost me five or six euros, but it was original Marvel merchandise that she bought in a second-hand shop. 

In 2016 I also saw Doctor Strange. It was in November or October, I can’t place exactly, but I know I was going alone. The first Marvel movie I saw alone in the movie theater. And I was running late, as well. It was raining, but I made it in time. And it was again a premiere. I loved the movie. My classmate asked me “yo Rūta have you seen that Dr Strange movie yet?” I was like “yes, of course, it’s a Marvel movie, I went to the premiere”. I was like that back in the day, acting like it’s, you know, evident and a fact that I see all the Marvel movies immediately as they’ve come out (which I did). Anyway, I said yes and she was like “oh well were the directors on drugs? cause we saw it and the movie was so trippy, felt like lsd”. I was like…. “well, I don’t know how to tell you, but the movie’s based on comics and in the comics, as in the movie, there’s the idea of multiple universes and dimensions and what they’d look like, and I think what they showed in the movie would be quite accurate in real life if we could travel to these dimensions. The movie is meant to twist your mind and make you believe the impossible is possible and that we’re not alone in this life, we’re not alone in our environment. So it’s not meant to be trippy, but it’s meant to show you how misticism is combined with intelligence and the modern world.” Her answer was something like “oh, okay. but it’s still trippy.” It annoyed me a bit, but you know it’s okay, she doesn’t completely understand cause she’s not a fan. So it’s whatever, it’s cool.

2017 had begun and I was on a bit of a pause, it was my last year of secondary school and I had also discovered the Beatles and they changed me as a person, as well. I had emotional and existential discoveries within myself from them, but that’s not what this is about.

Me and my best friend had drifted apart a bit, so I started to hang out with other girls in my class, and they were very accepting and they were cool to spend time with. One of them, now my Marvel friend and one of my best friends, as well, also liked Marvel and had for some time. So we became closer friends and went to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. She really likes the Guardians, because she likes humor and the comedy genre, but I’m not the biggest fan of those. GOTG2 had George Harrison on its soundtrack. Harrison is one of the few loves of my life and my favourite singer, my favourite person. I was hyped to hear him in the movie, and it was in the perfect situation. To my friend, I was a bit too hyped.

Then, summer, me and my other friend went to see Spider-Man: Homecoming. I was very excited to see this movie, I had waited a year for the new Spider-Man story to be told, and I wanted to see how he’d be portrayed by this youngster, Tom Holland, who came to be one of my idols. 

His story is truly inspiring. Spider-Man was his favourite superhero growing up and he had wanted to be an actor. He trained in ballet, in gymnastics, and that gives him the ability to not have a stunt-man for his Spider-Man role. His abilities, all in all, are incredible. And he’s achieved his dreams, fans have helped him and they mean a lot to him. We mean a lot to him, we’ve helped him achieve this dream. 

SM:HOCO was a good movie, and I liked it a lot. It was the year I’d start high school, and I had always felt like Peter Parker. You know, out-casted, one friend, but smart and a bit awkward. I can still see the biggest similarities between myself and Parker. I remember thinking, when I started high school, “Oh I’m definitely like Peter Parker”. And I was, I still am, kind of. I’m not as smart as him, and I can’t shoot spider webs or climb plane walls or lift buses. But I see a lot of myself in him. How he tries hard, but nobody sees it, tries to help everyone, but gives problems instead (without wanting to), wants to go on every adventure. He has a person that he’s trying to prove himself to, but he’s never enough in their eyes, that is also something I often feel. And that he, an outcast at school and a supposable nobody can be a world-saving hero, means a lot as well, and speaks highly to me.

Fall 2017, high school and thinking everything’s fine and that I’m doing good. I meet my Marvel friend and we have a bite together and then go to see Thor: Ragnarok in the theater. If I remember correctly, it was the 30th of October. 

I was so happy to see Thor and Loki on a screen together again that I shed tears of joy. They started my Marvel journey and it meant a lot to see them finally, for some moments, not fighting each other, but fighting along side together. And Taika Waititi did a great job for the movie and for Thor’s character, proving that he can still be the God of Thunder without his hammer. The movie was incredible, one of the best the MCU has. We laughed, we cried, we had a great time. One of my favourite days.

Project time came around, we had o make a scientific research about a topic we were interested in. To say it shortly, the process and result wasn’t pleasant, so, on Friday February the 16th, me and my Marvel went to see Black Panther - a spontanious idea, and it was the day it came out, so we made it just in time. My dear friend got a bit lost in the area around the cinema, but I helped her get here. We promised each other that next time we’ll go there together so she doesn’t get lost. 

She bought us M&M’s (which we succesfully threw to the ground while the movie was playing) and popcorn. I still have both packets in my room somewhere. I kept them because it made me remember one of the best days of my life. I was feeling horrible that day and meeting her and seeing Black Panther put me in an ecstatic mood, I got much happier. So yes, these movies and characters do save my life, and so do my friends.

Black Panther was a big breakthrough for people of colour and women, which is great and I love that. It got, I think, at least one Oscar and Golden Globe. They deserve it. And Ryan Coogler is a great director. I loved the movie, it was so beautiful and nothing was out of order, I’d literally give it a 10/10. 

Then, I started my Marvel movie marathon because Infinity War was coming. I remember sometime in summer 2017 or fall 2017 the trailer leaked and I didn’t want to watch it, but I did. And when it officially came out, I had forgot the leaked one. 

My Marvel movie marathon went well, and I watched Ant-Man and Ant-Man and the Wasp for the first time. Now that I watch it a year later, I can say that AMATW is one of MCU’s best movies. It’s so well done. But anyways, it was so strange watching all the movies I watched when I had just started my Marvel journey. Infinity War was the beginning of the end of this incredible story, and it was very emotional.

When I was watching the first Thor, I accidentally spilled tea on my laptop, so it was a bit of a disaster, but the laptop is fine now. I dried it and continued to watch Thor. How silly of me, now that I think of it.

Then, one fine sunday the sun was out and me and my Marvel friend were meeting up to spend the day together. Mom was at work, so we were alone and we decided to watch Thor: Ragnarok again. We drank Cola with lime and watched the movie, had a good time. It was such a good day, again, one of my favourites. 

April 26th, 2018. The day we went to see Infinity War—it was an unspoken rule that we’re going to every Marvel movie together—I’d had an emotional day already and was quite spent. We met up at the mall and I hadn’t finished watching Black Panther, the last movie on my marathon’s list. So we watched it at the mall, on a sofa. We had an hour to go and I don’t think we finished watching Black Panther till the end. 

Well, Infinity War… wow. That was, uh, that was something. I remember how hard we cried. I remember how many tissues we used. I remember how we walked out of the theater, into the night, and we just… we didn’t know what to do. I tried to make up some theories about all the deaths, tried to find something positive, tried to find a way out of it all. But I couldn’t. And my friend was too sad to listen to my ramblings. We were broken. 

The next few weeks were hard for me, I’d say the month of May was hard for me. Not only because of Infinity War, but it was a big reason. I don’t want to talk about the other reasons. But, it was hard to find strength to carry on, it was hard to live without those characters. I mean, Steve had then lost Bucky twice before his eyes. And I couldn’t understand how they could do that. Twice, I mean, t w i c e ??? Blows my mind.

And Peter. That broke me so deep I still don’t know if it has fixed. Right in front of Tony’s eyes. It was… something I couldn’t comprehend, as well. And I prayed to myself that Steve doesn’t go, that Tony doesn’t go, that Sam doesn’t go. For a while, I was relieved that Steve and Tony didn’t get ‘dusted’, but I couldn’t bare the actual deaths.

I didn’t go to see Ant-Man and the Wasp that summer. I don’t know why, maybe it just slipped. The opportunity slipped. But I don’t know. My friend did, she saw it and said it’s very good. Now, I don’t take other people’s opinions into account in order to watch a movie or before I do, I like to not hear anything about a movie before I watch it. But she was right about this one. 

2018 was also a colorful and adventurous year for me, so Infinity War was one of the main events that impacted my life that year. I swore that I wouldn’t watch it again, at least not in 2018. And I did. I only watched it for a second time on January 1st this year and right before Endgame. The movie is good, and epic, as well, but I just can’t watch it as many times as I do the other MCU movies. 

In November or December came the first teaser for Avengers: Endgame and we finally got the title. It was very emotional, a very dark trailer with no space for hope. I shed a few tears and thought “i’m not ready for this”. I was not.

Captain Marvel came around and at first I thought I’d wait and watch it at home, but then I got five cinema gift cards for my birthday and realised I could use one to see Captain Marvel. So I did, I bought my ticket and went to the premiere.

It was a very emotional evening because I had lost my wallet and someone had stolen it. So I ran around the streets, looking for it, and I was soon going to be late for my movie. So I ran to the cinema, crying all the time, and sat down in my seat.

The movie was amazing, I just couldn’t fully enjoy it because I was thinking about my wallet and hoping that someone had found it and gave to the authorities, hoping that I’d get it back somehow, someday. Well, I didn’t, but I got myself a new wallet and eventually stopped crying about the lost one.

Captain Marvel was truly incredible and unpredictable at moments. As much as some people think it was a feminist movie, it was not produced that way and not meant that way. It was meant to show Carol’s origin story, her own feelings and confusion and doubts towards who she is and how she fights for what’s right. I loved the movie, it was truly a masterpiece.

Teasers and trailers started coming out for Endgame and the press tour soon started and I engaged myself fully with it all, followed tags and profiles that I could get updates from. 

It brought tears to my eyes to see Robert, Scarlett, Chrises, Ruffalo and Renner experience all the fun, all the love and the press tour for the last time. And then there’s Brie Larson who experiences it all for the first time. There was this video where someone said something to Brie and she got shy, started crying and put her head on Downey’s shoulder and he laid a kiss on her head. It was just sweet and well, because Downey knows how one can get shy of the compliments and attention and he’s been through it all, and he’s the one who started it all. So he sees Brie is still not used to what it all means and he knows he can give her the comfort. It’s just… giving me indescribable emotions and tears.

24th of April, 2019. The day I saw Endgame was such a great day. It was warm and sunny, even hot at times. I rode my bike back and forth over Daugava, listened to music and sang while riding, enjoyed the sun and some food. I was happy. Then, my Marvel friend had forgot she was supposed to be at the cinema by 19:10, so I called her and she tried to get there as soon as she could. Once I was inside the auditorium, I started stressing, I started panicking. It really hit me that my journey, our journey, their journey was coming to an end. This would be the last Avengers movie where they are all together, fighting together and talking and you know, Avengers stuff. It registered in my brain, although I don’t think it fully has now, actually. I started crying, I started to breath heavily and my friend wouldn’t come, I didn’t know where she was. I had prepared a gift for her that originally I planned to give her on her name day, but this was too much of a big event for us both. She had already seen Endgame at the night premiere, but we keep our promise to see all Marvel movies together. Well, we kinda fell out with that, but still. 

Our friendship wasn’t born solely from Marvel, but that was one of the basics. And she means so much to me, I can’t even describe. She’s been through the last phase of Avengers with me and she, maybe a bit more than my best best friend, has seen me change and seen the impact the characters have on me with time, how they’ve helped me, helped shaped me as a person.

She won in the quiz about Marvel and got a huge poster, bigger than herself, and socks as a prize. Socks she gave to me, they’re comfy, but made for men. Still, I wear them, what’s the difference, really? Feet are feet :D

I cried so much during Endgame. It was a painful movie, an ending to something so wonderful, and I still can’t bear it. I don’t think I’ll ever watch it again, but I think I’ll buy the DVD when it comes out and watch it at home at some point. As much as I’d never forgive myself for not seeing the credits again (because they were beautiful), I can’t watch it again. I’d have a breakdown.

I actually already did. Before the movie, after the movie (several), during the movie. Especially when everyone came back. Cause I thought that’s how Steve was gonna go - alone against Thanos with his broken shield. But then everyone came back and I had a… I called it “a positive anxiety attack”. I was happy, I was relieved, but I was stressed and in panic and I was glad and I was… Ah, just everything at once. I was sobbing and breathing heavily again, I was… I was at a strange condition.

There are so many wrongs made in Endgame with the characters, as well as plot-holes simply dismissed. But in my view, it was a better movie than Infinity War. It’s the most epic superhero movie ever made. There won’t ever be a better one made.

Three days after seeing Endgame, I took part in an MCU Quiz with my friend. We got third place! I’m very happy about that, it means a lot to me. We got a mug, a poster and a comic book which I’ve yet to read and share with her. That was truly amazing, I have to thank Kino Kults for the amazing experience and gifts. 

Endgame drew a part of my life which I love as much as my family to a close. It concluded a chapter, locked it closed with a key. And I still can’t come to terms with it, I still can’t realise it fully, I still can’t comprehend. That along with every fan and every actor and producer that has been a part of the MCU, my Marvel story and journey has ended. Well, I actually hope it hasn’t. There’s lots to look forward to, but the Avengers… no more.

I’ve spent a lot of money on Marvel, merchandise and souvenirs, and I don’t regret a single cent. Movie tickets, comics, posters, phone cases, necklaces, rings, keychains, shirts and hoodies. I’ve made original merchandise (for myself only) as well, and I think that’s very cool. I have my own idea and I make it happen. I’ve made art, I’ve made my own notebook and book covers with Marvel characters on them that I use in school, I’ve customized boxes and folders with Marvel themes. I have two self-customized shirts, two self-customized hoodies, and three or four merchandise shirts from Marvel. I’ve had joggers, pyjama pants, etc. I still have my beanie and I use it from time to time, I wear my clothes proudly. 

The people who are a part fo the MCU that have inspired and impacted me the most are Scarlett Johansson, Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Tom Holland and Tom Hiddleston. Their stories, their personalities, their motivations, their characters have given me so much, they’ve taught me so much about life and about myself, as well. They’ve brought me where I am now. I couldn’t be here without them, I couldn’t be who I am without them. Without all of the actors and characters, actually.

If I could have any way to thank them, any way to reach the actors and talk to them, I would be so thankful. If I’d meet at least one of them, well, it would be a dream come true. They’re all still alive and if I had any opportunity to get to a Con, a meet and greet, or simply meet them accidentally, I would use it. It’s my dream to talk to them, to see them in real life. I’d give anything for that to come true. 

This journey has been absolutely incredible. I’ve made new friends through Marvel, made artworks, had ideas, discovered music, discovered artists, discovered new things about myself and others. When I had nothing, I had Marvel and their movies and characters. They gave me hope when I couldn’t. They made me believe in myself when I didn’t have the strength to and nobody else would.

Marvel, you have been my life and my home for the past seven years. O cannot ever thank you enough. You’ve given me so much. I’m so glad I was here, I was on board while all the movies came out. They shaped my childhood, my adolescence and made me into who I am today. I can’t believe the avengers’ journey is over. It never really will be. For me, at least. They’ll live forever in my heart, in the fans’ hearts and in cinematic and culture history. 

Thank you, Marvel. Thank you, Robert Downey Jr. Thank you, Chris Evans. Thank you, Avengers. I love you 3000. 

[thesoupoftheafternoon]

6.5ish years T, 5.5ish years post top

Updating because of a surprise revelation regarding my dose & how it relates to my mental health. Also because I haven't posted on this for two years!

First off, general changes. Dose stuff at the end. (TL;DR dose stuff--by accident I lowered my dose by .1 mL and despite never having felt much of a difference mood-wise from changing my dose before, I feel fucking great and actually happy for the first time in a while! Surprise, your levels should also take into account your age and you shouldn't use the same reference range for the whole time you're on T!)

Under cut--this is mad long. [And cw for mental health talk including v mild suicide ideation, also alcohol/drugs]

T stuff:

I posted pretty much the same thing last time, but I'll reiterate that the vast majority of these changes are basically subtle things that no one else notices and that probably have more to do with just getting older/diet/exercise than being on T. My facial hair range is exactly the same as it was two years ago (literally just ‘stache and chin directly below the mouth) which checks out based on my dad/my entire family. I shave about once a week. Happy trail a little bit happier, lil more arm hair, lil more leg hair. Haven't been checking super closely but I think I have more hair around my butthole. Dick size is the same. Appetite has dropped a bunch--I can't scarf down food the way I used to. I’m read as male all the time, haven’t been misgendered based on my appearance since like 2013. 120-125ish pounds.

Chest stuff: (I had keyhole btw)

Nipple sensation is back, I repeat, nipple sensation is BACK! They're healthy and super perky, which I used to be kinda insecure about since they stick out a bit, but also like, who gives a shit? I would say they feel about 90% as sensitive as they were before surgery, and after a bit of touching they do start feeling a little less sensitive, but they never go completely numb. I'd say they've been at this level of sensation since early 2017. Left nipple is more sensitive than my right. My right nipple used to kinda bulge outward on the bottom but I guess the scar tissue has broken down somewhat since it's lying a lot flatter these days. The numb chest patches are smaller and way less numb and it takes less pressure for them to register touch. Drain scars look kinda like bug bite scars. Under-areola scars are very hidden, basically invisible. 

Lower surgery??

It’s on my mind but it’s always been a little on my mind. It’s not a priority. A hysto/oopho may be in order someday. But I’ve been thinking about what I want my junk to look like and be like as I get older, and whether my current setup and how I relate to it is going to be sustainable. I genuinely don’t know whether I would rather get metoidioplasty or phalloplasty. There’s a lot more thinking to be done. 

Dose stuff: 

I started T in 2012 with .5 injections every other week. With 200 mg/mL that averages out to 50 mg of T per week, although I'm sure my levels were different from someone on a weekly schedule. Around the 2.5 year mark my bloodwork came back saying I had super low T. I upped my dose to .5 every week, so 100 mg/week (which is famously a pretty common dose, there's even some trans merch company called .5cc.) Over the next year or two (I really don't remember exactly when) my bloodwork showed me now at very high T levels, nearly and in some cases exceeding the upper threshold of my doctors' reference ranges, so I lowered my dose to .4 and then to .3 mL/week, or 80 and then 60 mg/week. Of course I worried about T aromatizing into E, but my doctor at the time didn't test my blood for estradiol until I had already reduced my dose down to .4, and said my E levels were fine (I don't remember the exact number.) 

Even at 60 mg/week my T levels were still high. I and my doctors chalked it up to the fact that I work out a lot and/or maybe my body was just like that The general consensus was that "if your period isn't coming back, your E levels are fine," usually followed with some question like “how are you feeling on this dose?” or “are you feeling good?”

And what I kinda knew then then, but what’s even clearer to me now, is that I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA. My I-guess-it’s-anxiety, my on-and-off idk-if-it's-depression, my garbage sleep cycle, my self-doubt and second-guessing and skewed perspectives, have all been around in some form or another, so it's very hard for me to parse out what I'm even Really Feeling sometimes, never mind what might be causing that feeling. For the last several years if I felt bad I would usually conclude one of the following:

I feel bad because I’m actually a shitty person and feeling bad is natural for how bad and awful a person I am.

I feel bad because the world is fucked and society is crumbling and feeling bad is natural for how literally everything we love will be swallowed by the sea and/or be salted and burned in worldwide conflict.

Which is obviously not conducive to trying to figure out any other external factors or triggers for my shitty mental health!!

Plus it’s not like I was exactly excited to have less testosterone in my body. I was genuinely nervous that lowering my dose lower than .3 a week would just be an experiment that wouldn’t do anything except make me less buff and maybe even bring back my period. And I’d always been a little skeptical about the extent of hormonal effects on mood. T certainly affected my mood positively when I started, that was an obvious cause/effect, but I figured (and still do think) that had SO much more to do with finally being seen as a guy and having a masculine body than any sort of direct T-on-brain action. I did notice some increased irritability, but it wasn't much, and also I was still 16 lol. I noticed changes over the course of months or years--never within the course of a week. I can’t relate at all to folks who talk about spikes or troughs in their levels or getting a rush or feeling low based on where they were in their shot cycle. So I'd always tell doctors that I felt fine on whatever dose I was on because, well...I guess I felt fine!!

For the last several months--maybe the last year and a half, tbh--my mental health has been pretty bad. Over the course of any given day, the things I felt were generally limited to annoyance, panic, self-pity, drunk, stoned, and horny, and usually in that order. And that's a relative statement, because I'm pretty functional and haven't ever hit clinical levels of whatever, have always been able to find enjoyment in some things and get endorphins from exercise and complete necessary tasks on time, but hey, if you're reading this and feel like it's normal to constantly have "I hate myself, I fucking suck, why don't I just die" churning around in your head even if you're "not going to act on it," or that it's normal to drink and smoke weed until you basically pass out 6 days out of 7, or that it's normal to feel convinced every bit of positive affirmation you're getting is out of pity, Honey You've Got A Big Storm Coming. Like, again, considering how shit awful our current sociopolitical climate (and also the literal Earth's climate) are, it's no surprise I felt these were understandable feelings, and like, I guess they kind of were? But just because a feeling is understandable doesn't mean it's a good thing that I'm having it. Which seems remarkably obvious in hindsight!

Anyway, about a month ago I underestimated how much was left in my vial and had to do a .2 mL shot instead of .3. That's 40 mg for that week: even lower of a dose than when I started T. As the week went on I noticed I actually felt consistently happy: not just "someone's giving me attention," not just "nihilistic fun," not just "I guess the things I'm looking at right now are pretty," but actually satisfied, content, grounded, having emotions that felt like they came FROM ME. 

And since I’m always one to consider alternative explanations, there’s plenty of other factors that might have led to this improved mood. When I lowered my dose, I had just gotten accepted to two new jobs. I’d met up with friends I hadn’t seen in a while. But it’s not as though before I lowered my dose I never felt happy. It just never stuck around. These days I’m able to retain a positive emotion beyond the precipitating event and not just have the same boring self-hating thoughts over and over again. Which is huge!! I feel like I’ve really broken the thought cycle that’s defined much of my thinking for the last few years. So many of my emotions have been about my emotions, and a big part of why I felt so awful was feeling so helpless against these thoughts, and understanding completely deep down that it was irrational, that it really didn’t make any sense for me to feel this awful. That of course tapped horribly into my endless guilt complex and fed it and it just went on and on. 

I haven’t gotten my levels tested again yet--that’ll happen later this month. (My doctor knows and is cool with this reduced dose.) I’m especially interested to see where my estradiol will be at. My T will probably be more reasonable for someone my age--I feel like my crazy 1000+ ng/dL T levels were okay when I was like 19-20 but now that I’m a whole 23 years old (yo!!!) it makes sense they should be a little lower. I’m not a doctor, though--but then again, real ass certified doctors have made hashes of my medical care in the past, so I’m comfortable trusting myself a little on this one. 

General life update and thoughts on being trans in this world:

I’m much more relaxed and much more okay with being trans these days. Comes with being a lot more sure about myself and who I am, which is a continuous process and one that was happening even before I lowered my dose and was suddenly way less depressed. While I still get hives at the thought of anyone outing me without my permission, I’m a lot more comfortable outing myself to people, even large groups of people, even folks who I might not really know. I’ve come to appreciate the parts of me that are definitely and absolutely because I am trans or that reveal I am trans, and the connections I can make with people by sharing those parts of me.

I’m not sure I’d say I have a career at this point, but definitely most of the work I’m doing these days is in social justice, non-profit, LGBTQ-related, activist work. My resume more or less outs me as at the very least a deeply committed trans ally, lol. I think growing up and realizing I was trans I hated the thought that it would define who I was and what I did. I didn’t want to touch activism or trans spaces in general with a trillion-foot pole. 

I’ve since gotten over myself and like...let myself enjoy things, I guess? I really do find nonprofit work super rewarding and I finally admitted to myself I fucking love chilling with other trans people and talking about trans shit and that I do love, if not the fact that I And My Body Am Trans, the existence of community and the thoughts and ideas that we share. And a lot of the time I do like my body. And I’m kinda ready for this newfound happiness to stop feeling so fresh and exciting, because I know it’s a bit weird and inappropriate to be talking about how happy I am that I feel great when, again, The World’s Some Shit Right Now. 

But I think in general--not just about being trans--I’m letting myself feel the happiness that I have, with so much less guilt and shame. I always knew intellectually but am finally putting into practice the fact that simply denying myself happiness or feeling bad that I feel happy doesn’t bring happiness to folks who don’t have it. 

that’s it for now ! 

[pullgram4-blog]

13 Proven Health Benefits of Turmeric

Years ago, I had a bad fall and injured my tailbone. It was one of the WORST pains I’d ever experienced. All the nerves surrounding my spine and lower back felt like they were on FIRE…Yoouuch!!!

I was traveling for work at the time, and had to be pumped full of morphine just to get on the plane back home. I was bedridden for 3 weeks and miserable. I desperately tried every natural remedy I knew about to bring down the inflammation… and some things worked better than others.

One of the most effective herbal supplements I took was a daily turmeric supplement. Thankfully, after several more weeks of turmeric supplements, acupuncture, and taking it easy, my tailbone had a full recovery.

This was the first time I experienced for myself how powerful turmeric is. I’ve since learned that turmeric is even more amazing, and that it is literally PACKED with health benefits that can improve your skin, your heart, your mood, and even your waistline!

To show you how remarkable this spice is, here’s a breakdown of research on 13 proven health benefits of turmeric.

Turmeric Health Benefit #1

Turmeric is Anti-Inflammatory: The active ingredient in turmeric is curcumin, a potent anti-inflammatory that helps maintain healthy inflammation responses.

The typical western diet (think lots of processed foods, sugar, and alcohol) leads to what is called ���chronic inflammation” in the body. Doctors believe this inflammation is a silent killer, because it sets the body up to be the perfect host for diseases like heart disease (1), cancer (2), Alzheimer’s, and even obesity (3).

That’s why you want to do everything you can to bring down inflammation, including eating more unprocessed whole vegetables and fruit along with specific spices (like turmeric) and herbs known to fight inflammatory responses.

One of the main anti-inflammatory components of turmeric is called curcumin (4), which one scientific study found to be as effective as some over-the-counter drugs (5) in bringing down inflammation in the body. The researchers actually found that aspirin and ibuprofen (active ingredient in Advil) were the LEAST effective out of all of the anti-inflammatory compounds they studied.

Turmeric Health Benefit #2

Turmeric Supports Healthy Joints: Beneficial in promoting overall joint health and mobility.

As the curcumin in turmeric is an anti-inflammatory, it can benefit the joints and help keep them from getting inflamed and swollen. This was demonstrated in a scientific study (6) on rheumatoid arthritis patients. Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) is a chronic inflammatory disorder that causes painful swelling in the joints. Researchers found that 500 mg. of daily curcumin was more effective than the prescription drug Diclofenac when given to RA patients.

When it comes to taking turmeric for your joints, it was shown most effective when taken before symptoms kick in (7), as a preventative measure to keep your joints healthy, pain-free, and mobile. But some studies have demonstrated it can help treat osteoarthritis (8) (a degenerative disease of the joint) as well.

Turmeric Health Benefit #3

Turmeric Promotes Heart Health: The properties support the overall health of the cardiovascular system.

There are several lifestyle factors and conditions in the body that can lead the heart disease – which is the #1 cause of death in the world. As discussed earlier, chronic inflammation plays a major role in heart disease, so taking turmeric as an anti-inflammatory can help prevent heart disease (9) and heart attacks (10).

One of the most interesting benefits of curcumin is how it can improve the lining of blood vessels (known as the endothelium). When the endothelium isn’t working properly, it can’t properly regulate blood pressure and clotting, which can lead to heart disease (11).

We’ve all heard that exercise is good for the heart, right? One study showed that taking curcumin is as effective as aerobic exercise (12) at improving vascular endothelial function.

Turmeric Health Benefit #4

Turmeric Encourages Healthy Cholesterol Levels. High cholesterol is known to be caused by oxidative stress (13), brought on to the body by chronic inflammation and high blood sugar. So, again, reducing inflammation in the body supports healthy cholesterol levels.

One study found curcumin comparable to prescription drug Lipitor (14) on endothelial dysfunction in reducing in inflammation and markers of oxidative stress. An earlier animal study (15) showed similar results on the body.

One study of human volunteers found that taking 500 mg. of daily curcumin dropped their total cholesterol by 11.63% (16), while their HDL (the “good” cholesterol) went up 29% in just 7 days.

Turmeric Health Benefit #5

Turmeric Boosts Stress Tolerance: As an adaptogen, it helps counteract the adverse effects of everyday stress on the body.

If you feel stressed, adaptogens should be your new best friend! In herbal medicine, some botanicals are termed “adaptogens”, which means they have the ability to modulate the release of stress hormones from the adrenal glands. This can help you adapt better to physical and emotional stress and be more resilient to anything that comes your way. They also help to keep your hormones balanced.

The curcumin in turmeric is a known adaptogen that has the ability to decrease the secretion of stress hormones in the body (17). In 2011, researchers in India found that turmeric had several adaptogenic properties that help with body weight, memory, blood sugar, and moreover that it helps the body maintain healthy stress hormone levels (18).

Turmeric Health Benefit #6

Turmeric Supports Weight Loss: Curcumin can positively influence weight management in overweight people.

Elevated stress can cause sudden weight gain. When stress hormones (cortisol) get out of whack, fat accumulates near the stomach (19) because the cells in the stomach are more sensitive to cortisol, and very effective at storing energy. As turmeric can help you balance your stress hormones, it can help stop that extra spare tire from forming around your waist.

The anti-inflammatory properties in curcumin are able to fight obesity too. One study actually found that taking curcumin can reduce the growth of fat cells (20)!

Turmeric Health Benefit #7

Turmeric Supports Healthy Metabolism: Aids in maintaining normal blood sugar levels.

Turmeric has been used to treat diabetes (21) in Ayurvedic and Traditional Chinese Medicine for years. A 2013 review of scientific studies (22) found that curcumin stabilizes glucose levels in the blood and also helped with complications related to diabetes. In one study, 100 overweight people with type 2 diabetes took either 300 mg. of curcumin or a placebo for 12 weeks. The researchers found that those taking curcumin had significantly lower fasting blood glucose (23).

There is promising research suggesting curcumin may reduce the risk of developing diabetes in high risk people too. In a 2012 study, all participants who took curcumin extract for 9 months didn’t develop diabetes (24), although they were prediabetic. While 16% of the prediabetic participants who took a placebo did develop diabetes after the 9 months.

Turmeric Health Benefit #8

Turmeric Optimizes Vitality: Its powerful antioxidant properties fight excess free radicals in the body that can damage cells and diminish health.

Antioxidants zap free radicals in the body that can lead to cancer, neurodegenerative disease and other disorders. With all of the processed “dead” foods that creep their way into our diets… we can all use more of antioxidants in our life! The curcumin in turmeric is a powerful antioxidant (25). Even better, curcumin is special in that it’s been shown to boost the antioxidant enzymes (26) in your body, giving you even more benefit (27)!

Turmeric Health Benefit #9

Turmeric Supports Brain Health: Helps maintain healthy cognitive function and working memory.

Curcumin has the amazing ability to boost a protein in the brain called BDNF (28). This important protein – brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) (29) – is responsible for helping the brain grow. It’s been shown to increase neurons and form new connections in the brain – two things we really need as we get older. BDNF builds up the “roadway” in your brain so that neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine can travel more easily where they need to go. Which is why high BDNF levels are linked to better memory (30) and mood… And, when BDNF levels are low, the risk of Alzheimer’s (31) and depression (32) goes up.

Turmeric Health Benefit #10

Turmeric Promotes Radiant Skin: By providing proper nourishment, it helps your body produce more radiant and healthy-looking skin.

Turmeric is an anti-aging powerhouse (33). Given that it’s an antioxidant – it can fight oxidative damage and boost the overall look of the skin. It’s anti-inflammatory properties help fight the appearance of aging skin (34) as well. A scientific review of studies in 2016 found that turmeric has the ability to improve numerous skin conditions (35) when it’s either ingested or applied directly on the skin.

Turmeric Health Benefit #11

Turmeric Improves Mood: Curcumin helps to reduces symptoms of mild mood changes.

As the curcumin in turmeric boosts the brain-builder protein BDNF, it may help prevent depression (36). Curcumin can also give a boost to serotonin and dopamine (37) – two “happy” chemicals in the brain. It shows promise for helping people who already have depression too. In one study, 60 people diagnosed with depression were given either Prozac, curcumin, or a combo of the two. Those who took just the curcumin had improvements in their mood on par with Prozac (38) – while those who took both had the best results during the 6 week study.

Turmeric Health Benefit #12

Soothes Digestion: Reduces symptoms of bloating and gas related to occasional indigestion.

Turmeric has been used for centuries in Ayurvedic medicine (39) to improve digestion and heal gut inflammation – likely due to its nature as an anti-inflammatory. Also the curcumin in turmeric stimulates the gallbladder (40), helping your body produce bile to break down food and improve digestion. One study found that turmeric has the ability to reduce bloating and gas symptoms (41) in people who have indigestion. Some research shows curcumin can help people with ulcerative colitis (42) too – an inflammatory bowel disease that causes sores in the digestive tract.

Turmeric Health Benefit #13

Reduces Risk of Cancer: Curcumin’s anti-cancer properties may inhibit the growth of tumors and reduce the spread of cancer.

The curcumin in turmeric may be able to slow the development and growth of cancer in the body. Animal research indicates that cucurmin has the ability to actually kill tumor cells (43) and inhibit tumor growth (44). This may prevent cancerous cells from growing (45) in the body.

When it comes to preventing cancer before it starts, one human research study found that taking 4 grams of daily curcumin reduced the number of precancerous lesions (46) in the colon by 40%. The research suggests that curcumin is most beneficial in breast, bowel, stomach, and skin cancer (47).

Curcumin has been shown to enhance chemotherapy (48) treatments for colon cancer. Another 2017 study found that curcumin enhanced tumor sensitivity to chemotherapy (49) in pancreatic cancer, indicating that it is useful in combating chemo-resistance.

Turmeric has an incredible history…

Turmeric has been used in ancient medicine for over 4,000 years, going back to when residues of turmeric were found in ancient pots in New Delhi, India. Turmeric is still in use in Ayurvedic medicine today, an ancient medical system that originated in India. It’s medicinal properties and components (primarily curcumin) have been the subject of thousands of peer-reviewed and published studies. 

The 3 different forms of turmeric:

There are three basic forms of turmeric. Each option has its own benefits, depending on what you want to do with it. 

Fresh Turmeric Root – You can find fresh organic turmeric root in the produce section in natural food stores like Whole Foods or Sprouts (some conventional grocery stores carry it too). This is the best form when adding turmeric to fresh pressed juice.

Ground Turmeric – Found in the spice aisle at almost every grocery store. This is the best form for seasoning vegetables and meals. Just make sure that you choose organic, because many conventional spices are irradiated and grown with synthetic pesticides.

Turmeric Supplements – This is the easiest sure-fire way to make sure you get the turmeric in your diet daily. 

(Try the Truvani Daily Turmeric Supplement here)

What to look for in a Turmeric Supplement:

The primary reason to take a supplement is to provide your body with nutrients that are not already abundant in your normal diet. Ironically however… it’s easy to sabotage your health with supplements if you’re not careful. Look for turmeric supplements that…

Include both Turmeric Root and Turmeric Extract – You’ll generally find two different types of turmeric in supplements. First, Turmeric Root, which is the powdered form of whole turmeric. Second is Turmeric Extract, which is the concentrated form of whole turmeric, standardized for 95% curcuminoids. Most supplements do not contain turmeric root, but they should. Some research shows that all of the components of turmeric (not just the curcumin) work together more effectively than taking curcumin alone (50).

Certified Organic – This ensures the ingredients were not grown with synthetic pesticides and other harmful chemicals, and also that toxic solvents hexane were not used during production. This is especially important in a supplement, as you will be consuming it daily. 

Tested for Heavy Metals – There are toxins in many products and in our environment that can lead to disease. Try to surround yourself and your family with the purest, most natural products (including supplements). Look for turmeric supplements that are tested regularly for mercury, lead, cadmium, arsenic, or glyphosate, and that does not carry a Prop 65 warning label.

Contain Black Pepper – Curcumin isn’t absorbed by the body well on its own. To help your body get the most benefits, consume it with black pepper, which contains piperine – which can increase bioavailability by up to 2,000% (51)! It’s also a good idea to take your turmeric supplement with food, as fat and oil also increases the bioavailability.

Packaged in Dark Glass – You don’t want unnecessary chemicals tainting your turmeric supplement and you want to preserve every single nutrient. Dark (amber) glass bottles don’t leach harmful chemicals that plastics can and provide excellent UV protection. This is important because UV rays can sometimes damage the contents.

Uncoated Tablets – This makes it easy to add turmeric to recipes and drinks, instead of swallowing a whole pill or measuring out a messy powder.

(Try the Truvani Daily Turmeric Supplement here)

How to properly store turmeric:

Fresh turmeric: The best way to store fresh turmeric root is in the refrigerator. You will first want to clean and completely dry the turmeric root. Then wrap the root in a paper towel and place in an airtight container. Fresh turmeric will last 1-2 weeks or more if refrigerated.

Ground turmeric: To store turmeric powder it is important to keep it in a cool, dry place. Ideally this will be in a cabinet or pantry away from heat or excessive light.

Turmeric supplements: Ideally, turmeric tablets should be stored in an amber glass bottle, to provide UV protection. Keep it away from excessive heat and light as much as possible.

Turmeric side effects…

Side effects from eating turmeric or taking supplements are rare, but it’s important to know about them. When turmeric is taken in high doses, it may lead to upset stomach, dizziness, or diarrhea. Some people are allergic to turmeric and have an allergic reaction. During pregnancy, turmeric is not recommended because it is associated with stimulating the uterus.

Known drug interactions for turmeric include medications that slow blood clotting, because turmeric is also known to slow blood clotting. So, be careful when taking turmeric with these types of drugs such as such as aspirin, Plavix, ibuprofen, naproxen, and warfarin. Always check with your healthcare provider before taking turmeric.

5 Easy ways to add turmeric to your diet:

1. Brew Turmeric tea: Bring 1 cup of water to a boil and then stir in ¼ teaspoon of organic ground turmeric, fresh grated turmeric or an uncoated turmeric tablet. Allow it to simmer for 10 minutes. You can stir in honey or fresh lemon juice for added flavor.

2. Mix up a curry powder: A basic curry powder can be made with 8 parts ground coriander, 4 parts ground cumin and 1 part each of ground turmeric and cayenne or paprika. You can decrease the cayenne and use paprika instead if you don’t want it spicy, and store this in a glass container in your pantry for up to 6 months.

3. Blend it into a smoothie: Add organic turmeric powder, grated root, or uncoated turmeric tablets to a flavorful smoothie and you won’t even taste it! Granted… it may change the color of your smoothie, since it’s got such a strong pigment.

4. Juice it: When making fresh pressed green juice, add in up to 1″ of organic fresh turmeric to your juicer (per serving). 

5. Season roasted veggies: Toss some fresh vegetables (like diced potatoes, cauliflower, or brussel sprouts) with a dash of olive oil and ground turmeric, along with any other seasonings you like. Roast at 400 degrees, tossing once until done, usually about 30-40 minutes. 

Add turmeric to your meals with delicious recipes… 

Here are some of my favorite recipes that I cook in my own kitchen with turmeric. Give them a try, I’m sure you won’t be disappointed! 

Meals:

Snacks:

Desserts:

Want to learn more about turmeric?

When you pick up your first bottle of Truvani Turmeric, I’ll send you two complimentary eBooks:

Truvani Life: I’ll walk you through my top healthy-living tips. I answer some of your most-asked questions about what to eat (and what to avoid) to stay fit and healthy. 

The Ultimate Guide To Turmeric: A beautiful 35-page guide to help you better understand the remarkable power of Turmeric, the ancient Ayurvedic remedy. I’ll show you how to incorporate it into your daily life with delicious recipes, specific product recommendations, and more.

Get your Truvani Turmeric + 2 Free eBooks here

Our mission at Truvani is to choose the absolute best ingredients, as nutrient-dense as possible, without processed chemical ingredients invented by the food industry to increase their bottom line. We enjoy food the way it was meant to be – real, whole, organic, and full of nutrients. Experience it for yourself!

If you know anyone who could benefit from turmeric, please share this post with them.

Xo, 

Vani

*This statement has not been evaluated by FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

As with any dietary supplement, you should discuss with your healthcare professional prior to use. If you are breastfeeding, pregnant, or considering pregnancy, you should consult your healthcare professional prior to taking any supplements. Discontinue use and contact your healthcare professional if you experience any side effects or an allergic reaction. Keep out of reach of children.

Source: https://foodbabe.com/13-proven-health-benefits-of-turmeric/

[bellabooks]

“Queer Ghost Hunters” are scaring up some real LGBTQ history

I came across the new web series Queer Ghost Hunters entirely by accident, but I’m forever glad that I stumbled into the corner of the internet that caters to the kind of queerness that is out of this world! Whether you’re a believer or a skeptic, the show is a lot of fun! If you haven’t heard about the series, then here’s what you need to know: “Queer Ghost Hunters is a docu series premiering this October about real people making contact with LGBT ghosts. They unearth the hidden stories of lost LGBTQ lives.” The team is entirely made up of ghost hunters from the LGBT community. Some are adamant believers in the paranormal, while some are skeptical but willing to experiment (for the second time) and see if anything comes of it. They travel around seeking out queer ghosts and attempt to communicate with them with the intention of giving them an opportunity to have their voices to finally be heard. The team is finding real queer history that has been lost, and they’re entertaining us while they do it! The show is basically the kind of footage that you would expect to find on Jillian Holtzmann’s trusty video camera if she were given free reign to make a ghost documentary. via Tumblr   The Stu Maddux production recently met their Kickstarter goal in October, and have released five episodes, plus extra content you can check out for free on their YouTube channel.     So far, the Queer Ghost Hunters have already spent some of their time talking to ghostly gay nuns, but as a queer history nerd, I’ve compiled this list of potential ghosts that would be really awesome for the Ghost Hunters to get in touch with. Julie D’Aubigny, or Mademoiselle de Maupin, was a sword-fighting bisexual opera singer in 17th century France. I know, she’s basically the coolest person I’ve ever read about. I saw a post about her on Tumblr and I’ve wanted to write something about her ever since. She killed or wounded at least ten men in life-or-death fights, and performed every night on the world’s most respected opera stage. When she became an opera singer, she fell in love with a woman, but the woman’s parents sent her to a convent. That didn’t stop Julie, though, she took Holy Orders just so she could sneak into the convent and set it on fire while she and her girlfriend escaped. Questions for Julie: * Is it true that King Louis XIV never tried you for your crimes because he found you too entertaining to deserve death? * How did you get so cool? * What was it like being bisexual in 17th century France? How would you handle the bisexual erasure and biphobia that exists today? (Probably by challenging any perpetrators to a dual, am I right?)   Alan Turing is a man who has intrigued me since I watched Derek Jacobi portray him in ‘Breaking the Code’. He’s the English homosexual who played a vital role in cracking the Enigma code that resulted in England and their allies defeating Germany in World War 2. He shortened the war by about 2 years and is estimated to have saved over 14 million lives. He’s also the man responsible for the technological foundations of the computer. So, you’re welcome. Despite this, Turing was made to endure chemical castration after being prosecuted for homosexual acts in 1952. He died in 1954 from cyanide poisoning. It is widely believed that he committed suicide, although it’s entirely possible that he ingested the poison by accident, and some even believe the government had him killed! In 2009, England’s Prime Minister Gordon Brown made a public apology for “the appalling way he was treated.” Queen Elizabeth II then granted him a posthumous pardon in 2013. Questions for Alan: * After eating a poison apple, who do you wish had been your Prince Charming to kiss you back to life? * What do you think about the way technology is being used in the 21st century * What’s do you think about the UK government’s Snoopers’ Charter which allows police to hack into your online data and browsing history? * How does it feel to have been pardoned by the Queen?   Sally Ride was the first woman in space. Despite the fact that I have always sucked at science, I think space is really pretty and mind blowing and is one of the coolest things ever. It only came to light after her death in 2012 that she had been in a long term relationship with a woman. It shouldn’t really have come as much of a surprise, since gays love space. It is thought that she kept details of her private life private in order to preserve the image of the space agency. The astronaut also saw her sister, who was a lesbian, being forced out of her clergy job due to her sexual orientation. Questions for Sally: * How does it feel knowing that so many young LGBT people are in love with the idea of space? * What was your reasoning for remaining in the closet while alive, but giving your partner permission to out you in the event of your death? * Tell me everything you know about space. Did being an astronaut make you a popular lady’s lady?   I even managed to talk to the Queer Ghost Hunters, and asked who they would like to talk to if the opportunity arose! Shane McClelland, Co-Leader of the Queer Ghost Hunters said, “For me personally, I think I would want to talk to folks who were rumored to be queer during their lifetime, but were not out. Someone like President James Buchanan, but anyone with his social status.” He said he would just want to “talk with them about why they weren’t out (besides the obvious reasons, if that was a consideration). What was life like? Did they ever consider using their influence or wealth to advance the LGBTQ causes? Did they have friends who knew? Was there a network of fellow queers that met or communicated with? If there was, did they talk about their struggles? How did you meet other LGBTQ folk?” Katy Detrow, the Team Researcher gave an answer that spoke to my own history nerd qualities, she said “For me, I just want to meet ghosts of regular people. I somehow think the lives of everyday people who were living lives as LGBTQ people in a time where they couldn’t even understand what that meant is to me way more interesting than how some rich dude did it. It’s easier for rich and famous people to do whatever they want, everyone expects them to be eccentric, but how did every day people walk through the world, find lovers, find happiness in times when it was seemingly impossible? That’s what just fascinates me.” Finally, Director Stu Maddux added that he would love to have a chat with “Harvey Milk, Gertrude Stein, Liberace, Alexander The Great, Jesus/God/Universal Higher Creative Power of Existence”. Apparently, the team came to the conclusion that ‘Jesus/God/Universal Higher Creative Power of Existence’ would at least be an advocate, if not queer themselves. If you could contact any queer ghost you liked, who would you want to chat to and what would you ask them?   http://dlvr.it/N2dblC

[movietvtechgeeks]

Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/selena-gomez-long-weeknd-ends-wendy-williams-faints-kim-k-offends/

Selena Gomez long Weeknd ends, Wendy Williams faints and Kim K offends

It’s officially over…the whirlwind romance between young Hollywood stars Selena Gomez and The Weeknd (legally named Abel Tesfaye) has come to a close. On Monday, numerous sources reported that the two artists called it quits after several months of dating. While the break-up was shocking in and of itself, Selena’s recent reconnection with her ex-Justin Bieber is making the situation seem even more messy. As we reported earlier, Selena was spotted hanging out with Justin Bieber a few days ago. In addition, the two stars also attended church and had breakfast together on Sunday. According to sources, Selena hopes to make amends with Justin, as her perspective on things has changed ever since she went through serious health troubles this year (note: Selena underwent a kidney transplant at the beginning of the summer). While it is unclear whether there is going to be a romantic reconciliation between the “Bad Liar” songstress and Justin, there are several clues on social media that hint at a not-so-amicable break-up between Selena and The Weeknd. In fact, on Monday, soon after reports of the break-up made waves on the internet, fans noticed that The Weeknd unfollowed all of Selena’s family and friends on Instagram, as well as Selena herself. Now rumors are circulating about Justin and Selena. Media outlets are reporting that Justin is trying to prove to Selena that he is a changed person, worthy of a second chance. In a new People magazine article, a source close to the Biebs explained that the singer is trying to win over Selena’s family. They told the publication, “Justin is aware Selena’s family is not thrilled they are hanging out. They think he caused Selena a lot of grief. Justin hopes he can prove to them that he has changed.” “House of Cards” has suspended production on season six, in light of recent sexual assault allegations leveled against star Kevin Spacey, media outlets have confirmed. “MRC and Netflix have decided to suspend production on ‘House of Cards’ season six, until further notice, to give us time to review the current situation and to address any concerns of our cast and crew,” said the companies in a statement. Yesterday the companies announced that the sixth season would be the last for the series, which was currently in production in Baltimore. “Media Rights Capital and Netflix are deeply troubled by last night’s news concerning Kevin Spacey,” they said in a statement. Netflix and MRC also said that they had sent executives to Baltimore Monday to meet with cast and crew after actor Anthony Rapp (“Star Trek: Discovery”) told Buzzfeed in an interview that Spacey had sexually assaulted him when Rapp was 14 years old. Spacey is not currently on set for “House of Cards.” He issued an apology for his “deeply inappropriate drunken behavior,” that was widely criticized given that he also used it to come out as a gay man. Media outlets broke the news yesterday that producers have been exploring spinoff possibilities, all of them set in the same universe as “House of Cards.” “House of Cards” is widely credited as the show that put Netflix on the original programming map when it premiered in 2013. The series has been nominated for 53 Primetime Emmy Awards — including five nominations for outstanding drama series. Spacey has been nommed five times for his work. News of the shutdown was first reported by Deadline. Of course, Kim Kardashian has stumbled into yet another controversy. This year, the reality star announced that she was going with a music icon theme for her various Halloween costumes. Leading up to October 31st, Kim has sported a number of flashy ensembles, including a Cher and a Madonna get-up. Unfortunately, one of her outfits was not received well by fans and followers of the star – specifically her tribute to the late singer Aaliyah. After showing off her Aaliyah-esque look, Kim’s social media feeds were flooded with criticism, as people felt that Kim should not have been dressed up the black artist. One Twitter follower replied to Kim’s costume saying, “Legend or not, Aaliyah is a black woman, and you’re not. It’s offensive, and you shouldn’t push the limit, but okay…” Kim K follower, Twitter post: https://twitter.com/LAGrlCrookdSmle/status/924484787699453953 Fortunately, in addition to the thousands of trolls and haters, Kim also received notable support from other social media users. Furthermore, Kim has not taken down the posts of her dressed up as Aayliah and has yet to comment on the controversy. Wendy Williams gave viewers a scare Tuesday morning when she passed out on-the-air during a broadcast of her syndicated chat show. Williams was introducing a segment while wearing a Statue of Liberty Halloween costume when her speech suddenly became slurred. She began shaking and seconds later collapsed on the stage. Stagehands rushed in to help her while the crowd screamed. Williams was back on camera after a break and told the audience the moment “was not a stunt” and she passed out because she was overheated in her costume. Williams’ publicist Alexandra Sinclair tells media outlets the host is “feeling much better” and was able to finish the show OK. Sinclair says Williams will “address the incident on tomorrow’s show.” Netflix is exploring a “House of Cards” spinoff as the show’s final season nears amid controversy surrounding star Kevin Spacey. The streaming channel, which reportedly is weighing different concepts for the spinoff, said Monday that the upcoming sixth season will be the last for “House of Cards.” The announcement of the Emmy-winning political satire’s end came amid fallout from Spacey’s alleged sexual advances toward a 14-year-old actor in the 1980s. But Netflix had already decided to end the show and was pursuing a spinoff. Spacey has apologized for the incident which he said he doesn’t recall but would have stemmed from “drunken behavior.” He also spoke publicly for the first time about being gay. The final “House of Cards” episodes are in production, with a release date yet to be announced. Follow-up heart surgery for Jimmy Kimmel’s infant son was postponed because of family colds. In a statement Monday, Kimmel’s publicist said that Billy Kimmel’s scheduled operation was delayed as a precaution. His publicist said Kimmel had planned to take the week off from ABC’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live” for his son’s surgery, but he instead is sharing sneezes with his wife and children. Guest hosts filling in for Kimmel include Shaquille O’Neal, Dave Grohl, Channing Tatum and Jennifer Lawrence. Billy was born last April with heart defects that required surgery immediately after his birth and another operation at about six months. The experience prompted Kimmel to use his show as a platform to advocate for every family’s access to equal medical care, including those unable to afford it. Tessa Thompson hated having to wear a cape in 'Thor: Ragnarok'. The 34-year-old actress stars as the cape-wearing Valkyrie in the new Marvel movie, and Tessa - who trained diligently for the high-energy role - admitted her on-screen attire made filming awkward for her. She explained: "I know that sounds like - not a champagne problem, but like a weird superhero problem that we don't think about. "You just trip on them and then the wind machine gets going and it smacks you in the face. So, it felt like a quick boot camp in superhero-ness." The American star also revealed that she and the rest of the cast - which includes Chris Hemsworth, Idris Elba and Cate Blanchett - would stand around on set joking about the challenges of playing superheroes. She told 'Entertainment Tonight': "We all stand around with half of our costume off and weird suspenders ... We have conversations about navigating the demands of superheroes. "[And] the sometimes adventurous positions you have to get yourself in to be able to, you know, pee in between takes." Meanwhile, Tessa recently revealed that her character Valkyrie was pitched to her as the "Han Solo of the movie" by director Taika Waititi.

MTV is reviving its “Jersey Shore” franchise, this time down South.

The network said Monday it will debut “MTV Floribama Shore” later this month, following a cast of eight young adults who spent a summer together in Florida’s Panama City Beach with the expected personal dramas. It’s being made by the same production company as “Jersey Shore,” which aired from 2009 to 2012.

“Jersey Shore” was the network’s highest-rated original series, making stars of characters like Snooki and The Situation, and spawning worldwide spinoffs like “Warsaw Shore” in Poland.

MTV is becoming the reboot channel, recently reviving “Total Request Live” and “Unplugged.” Its new “Siesta Key” is inspired by “Laguna Beach.”

“Floribama Shore” debuts Nov. 27, the Monday after Thanksgiving.

Although she is only 25 years old, singer and actress Miley Cyrus has already had a long career in the entertainment industry. For several years, Miley was one of the biggest stars on the Disney Channel, as she portrayed Miley Stewart on the hit TV series Hannah Montana. On Sunday, Miley did an interview on CBS Sunday Morning, in which she reflected back on her days as a Disney starlet. The “Younger Now” songstress admitted that she was under an immense amount of pressure while acting on Hannah Montana. Miley noted, “I liked being in the Disney universe ’cause I didn’t know anything else. I knew I was getting to live what I wanted to do. I think now that I’m older now, I realize that’s a lot to put on a kid, It’s a lot to put on a kid to have them have to get their makeup done and then also balance school and then also have me dress up in a wig. It’s a little like Toddlers and Tiaras.” When asked if she views her Disney days in a positive light, Miley responded, “I definitely look back on it as a good time. I think what was hard for me was balancing everything. I think it got harder when I started touring as both – toured as Hannah Montana and as myself.” She went on to add, “I loved being that character. And honestly, music is everything and all people wanna have is great music and for that audience, for what that was, that was great music for kids to listen to. There’s a song called ‘Life’s What You Make it, so Let’s Make it Rock.’ Never forget that— wise words. That’s a good thing to tell kids,” Nowadays, Miley is keeping herself busy with both her music career and her role as a judge on the TV singing competition The Voice. One of Bachelor Nation’s fan favourites may be off the market… After weeks of exchanging flirtatious comments on each other’s social media posts, it appears that Bachelorette alum Wells Adams is seeing Modern Family’s Sarah Hyland. According to sources, the duo is still in the very early stages of their relationship and they are keeping things casual. One source told People magazine, “They’ve been friends for a while and now they’ve been hanging out and spending more time together. They’re flirty.” Back in the summer, Sarah Hyland split from her long time boyfriend, actor Dominic Sherwood. On October 11th, Sarah tweeted out a post about the struggles of being single, indicating that she was ready to find a new beau. She posted, “The problem with being single isn’t the fact that you’re alone. It’s that you can’t puppy dog eye a guy into getting you Starbucks in bed.” Sarah Hyland, Twitter post: https://twitter.com/Sarah_Hyland/status/918165564580753408 Over the past weekend, Sarah and Wells were spotted hanging out in Nashville. While Sarah lives in California, she made the trip out to visit the radio host and join in on some Halloween festivities. On Saturday, Sarah posted a photo of her and Wells dressed up for a Halloween party. The actress went as Dustin from Stranger Things, while Wells dressed up as Eleven from the Netflix hit show. When Alex Rodriguez first met Jennifer Lopez, the former baseball player wasn’t sure if their dinner was a meeting or a date. “He was sitting there in his white shirt, very confident and manly, but then he was just so talkative!” the “Shades of Blue” stunner recalled to Vanity Fair. “I think he thought I was going to be this loud person, but I’m not,” she continued. “I just listen. So he’s talking, talking about his plans, about how he had just retired from baseball, about how he saw himself getting married again, all these things you wouldn’t normally talk about on a first date. I don’t know if he thought it was a date. I thought it was a date. Then I knew he was nervous because he asked me if I wanted a drink. I said, ‘No, I don’t drink,’ and he asked if I minded if he had one.” Rodriguez, 42, admitted feeling “uneasy” going into the night, “not knowing her situation” ahead of time. “It would be incredibly productive for me to sit with one of the smartest, greatest women in the world, especially for a guy like me who is coming through tough times, rehabbing himself, re-establishing himself to folks out there. I thought it would be a win-win no matter what,” he explained. After Lopez, 48, confirmed her single status “around the third or fourth inning,” Rodriguez then let his fingers do the talking. “I had to get up and go readjust my thoughts,” he said. “I went to the bathroom and got enough courage to send her a text.” Lopez received the text from the father of two, which read, “You look sexy AF.” “And then it took a turn,” she said. “The fire alarm went off, and we had to evacuate.” The red-hot pair, who confirmed their romance earlier this year, have been attached at the hip since their Bahamian getaway in March. Lopez, who shares 9-year-old twins Emme and Max with ex-husband Marc Anthony, revealed in September this is the first time she’s been in a “good relationship.” “We complement each other, and there’s really pure, true love. Just wanting to support the other person and make them happy. So there’s a different selflessness in the love that’s beautiful and different. And healthy!” Lopez told Hola! USA in September.

Movie TV Tech Geeks News

[rob-blog1234]

WEEKEND TV HOT FILM PICKS!

Check out my guide to the top films on TV this weekend and the best of the rest. Enjoy!

LATE FRIDAY 16th JUNE

HOT PICKS!

ITV4 @ 2100    The Shawshank Redemption (1994) *****

This film can never go without a mention - this heart filled story by Stephen King, superbly brought to life on the big screen has been seen countless times and still completely sweeps me up in it’s incredibly detailed story of Tim Robbins as Andy Dufresne, a man wrongly convicted for the murder of his wife and her lover, gets sent to prison at the infamous Shawshank Penitentiary. He struggles to adapt to prison life and suffers isolation and abuse. He meets a number of different characters, some more friendly than others - one such man is Morgan Freeman’s “Red”. An unlikely friendship begins that soon blossoms into one of the greatest friendships in film. The Shawshank Redemption is a wholly memorable, brilliantly executed, touching, sad, effecting and downright impressive film that should be home in everyone’s film collection. Its success lies in the amazing script and equally amazing cast who drive this amazing story to even greater heights. It’s almost purely dialogue driven and doesn’t need to rely on special effects or elaborate action sequences - in fact it doesn’t have any at all. It is quite simply a brilliant and in-depth film about people and their interactions. It’s both thought provoking and powerful and one of my all-time favourite films.

Film4 @ 2315    Die Hard (1988) *****

Yes - It’s here… It’s Not December... but who cares.... Time to watch my personal favourite Christmas film: Die Hard. Everyone’s favourite cop - John McClane comes home for Christmas but manages to bump into a load of terrorists lead by the amazing Alan Rickmann as the sinister Hans Gruber. Here begins John McClane’s bad luck stint getting mixed up with bad guys where ever he goes. Great story, classic 80’s Action. A must see Action Film!

ITV4 @ 2355    Bullitt (1968) ****

This fantastic cop thriller has been somewhat overshadowed by its fame for the glorious car chase scene, but it really shouldn’t be, Bullitt is an intelligent, focused and realistic crime drama with well-placed action and suspense. With Steve McQueen pulling out an understated but wholly credible role as Lieutenant Frank Bullitt he lifts this already great film to higher ground. As I have filled my recent film viewing with CGI heavy spectaculars full of clunky exposition and sacrificing script for mass glitzy destruction sequences, it was an absolute pleasure to return to the films I love. Films with intelligence, perfect sound tracks, with tone and mood matched perfectly to the story they are telling, realism, impressive live action scenes with no CGI… Bullitt certainly fits the bill.

Best of the rest:

TCM @ 2000      The Towering Inferno (1974) ****

Horror @ 2100  The Crazies (2010) ****

5* @ 2100           Layer Cake (2004) ***

C4 @ 0055         The Fighter (2010) ****

SATURDAY 17th JUNE

HOT PICKS!

Syfy @ 2100     The Lost Boys (1987) *****

This is one of those films that must be in the running for a place in my Top 10 most watched films of all time, and there’s good reason for it. Joel Schumacher’s ultra-accessible 80’s vampire film - The Lost Boys is full of fun and frights with a great edge of comedy. It has it all.

The last time we watched it we went in for something a bit different. We successfully negotiated the “Michael” drinking game. Michael is uttered 114 times in this film, based on shots, that’s about 6 pints. To prevent death or alcohol poisoning we opted for beer instead of spirits. Easy! We thought. Oh dear good no. As we ambled towards the rail track scene, beer suddenly started flying, people shouting “pause it!” & “Shit I just counted 17 I think” before we knew it we were 3 pints in and not even half way through. We ordered a Chinese (of course!) No maggots or worms luckily. If you are up for a laugh with some film fan friends, this is great fun.

A family move to a new home in a beach front town in California but it is not perfect. Santa Carla is home to a gang of bikers who terrorise the town and with a string of missing persons and mysterious deaths, the place certainly has its fair share of problems. The youngest son Sam meets two boys who claim to be vampire hunters. The eldest son’s interest in a local girl draws him into the gang of mysterious bikers and each night they venture out into the town. The brothers soon find out about Santa Carla’s dirty little secret that endangers them both.

The story is fantastic, it always rolls along so fast you are always entertained. Complemented by a great cast driving the story with some great music this has become a true cult classic. Keifer Sutherland’s David really steals the show and he oozes menacing coolness whenever on screen. This is undoubtedly one of the greatest Vampire films of all time. Watch this!

5* @ 2100     Dallas Buyers Club (2013) ****

McConaughey is currently unstoppable - pulling some well selected and very well done performances out of the bag. One such role is in Dallas Buyers Club. This is based on a true story of Ron Woodroof who discovers he is HIV positive and with very little medical advice or medicine available through normal channels turns to the black-market for the unapproved drugs he needs. His physical transformation for this role is impressive - but it’s not just simply that - he is outstanding. Juggling a character with delicate emotion and physical condition but with the heart and sheer motivation to continue on. His quest for illegal medication becomes more of a selfless cause as he begins to help others affected by HIV. The supporting cast are awesome and you will not even recognise Jerod Leto’s Rayon. Its success lies in a fine line of taking the good out of a bad situation. It never treads too firmly in either camp and this balanced and well approached film was one of my favourites of 2013.

Film4 @ 2100    Commando (1985) ****

If you are looking for an intelligent, complex, thought provoking action film then you need to watch something else, in fact, no you don’t - you just need to get ready for some nonsense action trash with the very best action hero… Arnie. Packed with outrageous sequences, a huge body count, a ridiculous and implausible bad guy and enough weapons to take over a small country. Here is a classic 80’s action film that doesn’t apologise, and doesn’t need to.

Seriously, just look at the front cover. That’s what you are going to get. Muscles, weapons, fighting… And you get Arnie carrying a massive log with one arm… And there’s a rocket launcher… Come on people!

I’ll even forgive the incessant and annoying steel drum & rapid keyboard music that it inflicts on us. This is Classic Arnie action nonsense. Amazing body count and some of the best Arnie one liners in the book.

I’ll watch it again purely for the random montage at the beginning when he is feeding a deer… Amazing.

Best of the rest:

BBC2 @ 1430      Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958) ****

Film4 @ 1900      About a Boy (2002) ****

TCM @ 2100       Zoolander (2001) ***

ITV4 @ 2200       Reservoir Dogs (1992) *****

TCM @ 2255       Full Metal Jacket (1987) *****

SUNDAY 18th JUNE

HOT PICKS!

TCM @ 2100    Full Metal Jacket (1987) *****

I’ve had many discussions regarding people’s favourite War movie? …and this is mine. Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket is superb. It’s full of classic Kubrick shots and some stellar performances making this a true bonafide classic. The film has 2 clear parts; the first part of the film goes through the marine training from day one of their induction, with a powerful opening scene of each character getting their heads shaved, removing their identity. This training part of the film is bar far the highlight of the movie. The second part, although different is extremely complimentary and deals with their introduction to real army life out in their new various roles, specifically focusing on “Joker” in his role as war correspondent for the Stars and Stripes publication. The film shows the Vietnam War from their perspective and how their lives are consumed by it.  It is full of interesting characters, particularly Private Pyle played by the brilliant Vincent D'Onofrio. Lee Ermey’s wild eyed and aggressive drill instructor is almost cartoon in his extremes and pushes the new recruits to the very limit of their capabilities… and in some cases beyond.  Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket is a triumph of cinema and a much watch film. Like War films? Love this.

C4 @ 2310     End of Watch (2012) ****

This is a fantastic buddy cop movie that oozes realism through an interesting blend of found footage style documentary filming and super dramatic fly on the wall direction. Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Pena are absolutely superb and they bring home two great performances that inspire serious audience involvement, you are part of their lives and really care about what happens to them. A lot of reviews gripe about the camera work and the odd impossible shot but the film isn’t meant to fit formula, its camera use is very effective for style and realism. Once you get over the camera work and you are saturated by the characters, hopefully you too will see how good a film this really is.

Best of the rest:

C5 @ 1330       Footloose (1984) ***

C4 @ 1430       The Book of Life (2014) ***

ITV2 @ 1650    Despicable Me 2 (2013) ***

Film4 @ 2320  Man on Fire (2004) ***

[cristyamanda]

The last time I travelled was in 2012 – that was a trip to Perth with my dad. Since then, I have not flown in a plane due to projects, lack of finances and Suzie’s deteriorating health. For the first time in 5 years, I flew by plane on a short break to Bangkok with Marion. The last time I visited Bangkok was in 2009, it’s been 8 years.

Like most couples, we’ve always wanted to have as many adventures together – whether it’s a physical adventure, spiritual, emotional or mental, whether it’s locally or overseas – we enjoy the idea of building memories and experiencing things together. To be honest, I still ask my parents if I can travel to certain places. I don’t know why I do that, maybe it’s because I’m still living under their roof. Also, being traditional, I know that a lot of people would have other ideas of what could happen if I travel with my partner alone, what more my parents. Upon graduating from Lasalle with my Bachelors, which is 2 years back, I asked if I could have my graduation trip with Marion and that conversation turned sour almost instantly so I never thought to ask them again.

I don’t have many friends I’d like to travel with as well because I worry that we may not have the same traveling chemistry or that I’d be limited in what I’d like to do. I’d rather go on solo trips (even though I have not done so yet) than to go with people who I might not enjoy my holiday with so much. Even though I secured my first job (my current job) last year and had the finances to travel, I didn’t do so because of the reasons stated above. Just recently, my Tita (aunt in Tagalog) helped to ask my dad for me if I could travel with Marion. I know I sound like a scared child here because I really was. I was afraid the conversation would turn sour again after the last time but deep in my heart, I really wanted to travel with Marion because there’s no one else I’d rather share these experiences with. To my surprise, my dad actually gave the green light. Maybe it’s because I’m already an adult with my own money and I can make those decisions for myself. I don’t know what the actual reason is but I am grateful that my dad was more lenient about it and trusted me not to do anything I would regret. Of course, I respect my dad a lot and I wouldn’t do anything that I know would disappoint him. I wouldn’t do anything that I’d regret too.

So anyway enough about the back story – Bangkok wasn’t the first trip I actually asked my dad about. In January this year,  Marion and I planned for a trip to Penang in May (during my birthday week). Bangkok was actually a very last minute, impulsive thing and that was only because we were informed that there were still available concert tickets for Coldplay. We bought our concert tickets before booking flight and hotel because we’re crazy, and we only secured all of that 3 weeks before flying off.

On the Air Asia from Changi Airport T1 to Don Mueang Airport. Waiting for the plane to take off.

In case you were wondering why we were so crazy to make it for the A Head Full of Dreams Tour, let me provide you with one more backstory. If not, you can skip this paragraph and go straight to the trip diary. I don’t have a specific favourite band/musician that I follow up on albums frequently or even occasionally. I have a few whose music or few songs I do enjoy such as Arctic Monkeys, Lifehouse, Switchfoot, A1 (in my childhood days), N’Sync (also in my childhood days), blink-182, The Click Five (in my teenhood), Ed Sheeran, HAIM, Imagine Dragons, James Bay, Jason Mraz, John Mayer, Linkin Park (the old songs), Maroon 5, The Paper Kites – and even so I actually had to comb through my Spotify list for an idea of what songs I listen to. The ones named here is only if I have 5 or more songs from them saved in my song list. I basically enjoy music generally and am mainstream like that, more often than not I rely on Top Hits Chart or recommendations from my very cool niece, Nikki, or my expert boyfriend, Marion. When Marion told me he’d like to attend a concert with me as one of the things that’s on his bucket list, I was immediately filled with gloom. You see, I don’t want to go for a concert that I wouldn’t fully enjoy because I wouldn’t know most of the songs to. I basically didn’t want to be poser. I would at the very least enjoy the few mainstream songs they’d play and be clueless for the rest of the setlist. I guess you can enjoy a concert just by listening and not signing along but it’s more fun if you know the lyrics and at what point does the song get exciting that it requires you to jump to the rhythm. So when he asked me which concert would I actually attend, I told him it’d be Coldplay for sure because I enjoy a lot of Coldplay’s songs and have a better idea of their albums. Proof of this statement is in my Facebook status update in 2013 before we had any idea that Coldplay would be touring Asia too –

So yes, that’s one thing I can cross from my bucket list. I never thought I’d be able to because we attempted to get the tickets in Singapore thrice but got logged out everytime we were about to make payment. I’m so thankful we managed to get them for Bangkok.

The travel journal begins –

6 April – 

Woke up to get ready and check through if I packed everything. The night before I scheduled an uber ride for 8am. I wasn’t done getting ready at 8am and my driver cancelled on me which caused me a cancellation fee of SGD 6 :( Also, the driver sounded really grumpy when he first called to check.

Note to self: Wake up an hour and a half before leaving to get ready.

I panicked for a bit because I didn’t want us to be late for the checking in process. I planned for us to be at the airport 2 hours before flight departure. Thankfully, I managed to call another driver to pick us up and he was much friendlier too. We picked Marion up along the way and reached the airport. Initially, we planned to have our breakfast before going through baggage check and after checking in but things didn’t go according to plan once again.

Firstly, my luggage had a luggage cover so I didn’t think I needed to put a luggage tag since it’s already noticeable that it’s mine. Unforutnately, someone else on the same flight had the exact same luggage cover as mine so we bought a luggage tag from one of the shops at Changi Airport to ensure it’s distinguishable. 

Secondly, the check-in process is now replaced with machines. They still had the counters in case anybody needed assistance but we weren’t aware the counters were still available. We attempted to check in with the machines but there was an error because we’re incredibly silly. The names we used to book our flights consisted of just the first name and surname instead of the actual full name reflected on our passports. I mean, seriously… after 5 years of not flying and I became this dumb concerning flights. To be fair, it’s the first flight I handled on my own without the help from my parents. :P (Yes, I should be embarrassed at this point)

Note to self: When booking flight, always put in your FULL name. Also, always get a luggage tag because your luggage cover is not customised.

So we went to the counter for assistance and checked in successfully. We had our breakfast at Dunkin Donuts pass the custom check point before we boarded our flight. We wanted to listen to some Coldplay in the plane but were told we couldn’t even switch on our electronic devices despite it being on airplane mode when the plane is taking off. We thought that it meant we couldn’t even switch it on so we didn’t throughout the whole flight. It was only when we landed that we realised we could only switch it on and to airplane mode once we’ve taken off.

Travel Tip for Budget Airlines: You can download the shows/movies you’d like to see on Netflix so that it can play offline while you’re on the plane. It’s safe to listen to music on your phone/iPad once plane has taken off.

Upon reaching Bangkok (Don Mueang Airport), we contacted Ton. Ton is from Thailand tours by taxi guide. I got to know him through my dad. Ton also showed my sister and her boyfriend around when they were in Bangkok last month. Let me give you a summary of his business – If you are going to Thailand and have a rough idea of what you’d like to do and see but no idea how to plan your itinerary, Ton is the man to ask. He helps to plan your itinerary. The difference with this tour as compared to company tours is that it’s very personalised and you won’t feel the need to rush to different places.

Before meeting Ton and after clearing customs, we went to get Thailand sim card for my iPhone so that I can get 3G for the days we’d be in Bangkok. By the time we met Ton, it was about 1.30pm (Bangkok Time). We didn’t purchase any meals on board so we were starving at that time. Our hotel check-in time starts at 3pm so we asked Ton if he knew of any good place for us to have lunch. He didn’t need to drive us there or wait for us since he was only asked to pick us up from the airport to arrive at our hotel, but being the kind and hospitable man he is, he found us a good and affordable place for lunch as a stopover.

I didn’t find out the name of the restaurant nor did I document the food we ate but here’s a picture of us with Ton.

Ton’s a very honest and friendly person. He has so much to share about BKK. Talking to him makes you see how much he really enjoys his job. I truly enjoyed the conversation we had with him and I cannot thank him enough for all the recommendations and all the advice/tips. When we go back to BKK for a longer trip, no doubt we will ask Ton to help us plan our itinerary. 

By the time we reached Nasa Vegas Hotel, it was close to 4pm. The hotel’s building looked very outdated and run down. We didn’t have any serious problems checking in although the service was a bit slow. They only had two receptionist checking guest in and out. We also had problems finding our room. I don’t know how we managed to take the staff lift instead of the guest lift but they both looked the same to us. So when we reached our floor, we ended up in some dark, dingy room with lots of papers and boxes. I freaked out because I was wondering where is the hallway or where are the rest of the rooms. After a good 10 seconds of figuring out our surroundings, I opened the only door in the room which led to the hallway to all the rooms – it was only then that we realised we took the staff lift instead. I wonder why the staff didn’t mention anything to us. When we got to our room, the key card did not work even though I tried it numerous times. I don’t know if my hand is jinxed or what but when Marion tried it, it worked.

So, entering our room was not a sight to behold. It was far from it. I can’t complain because it is a 3-star hotel. Firstly, the carpeted floors were not clean in my opinion. I’ll get to that later. The cupboard was really old and did not slide easily. You had to drag the sliding doors every single time you wanted to open and close it. We did not have a safe nor did we have free wifi. They did mention these on their site so I won’t complain about that but let me talk a little bit about the wifi. The wifi is only accessible to one user and you have to pay for it per day. Since I had 3G on my phone, Marion paid for the hotel’s wifi for two days. He couldn’t log on to the wifi and when he managed to, he only did so for two hours. That was a real annoyance. Back to the hotel – the toilets were a little gross to me. There was a weird stain in the bathtub and the floor carpet did not soak water up well. Once it got wet, it’d remain wet and gross for the rest of the day so you don’t actually have a floor towel to dry your feet with when you step out of the tub. The aircon generator was very noisy and if we didn’t close the toilet door at night, it would be really loud. As our hotel was right beside a railway track, it tended to get really loud and noisy at night when the trains honk. Those were not really my issues with the hotel because I was aware of all of that when we booked with them. My issue was with the toilet and how wet and gross it could get. Since hotel slippers weren’t provided, we walked around in our slippers meant for going out. So can you imagine after having a shower, you step out to the wet toilet floor, unable to dry your feet then you step onto the room’s carpeted floor and hop into bed with the hotel’s white sheets and you see dirt on your feet again. Gross right? To add on to my thoughts on the hotel – the lights were SUPER dim and we had one non-functioning mirror light for the bedside table. We also only had one powerpoint for charging our devices and that was another annoying thing for me because the room was clearly meant for two people. They should have another powerpoint somewhere else too.

Note to self: Never book with Nasa Vegas Hotel again. Also, you can’t compromise cleanliness and comfort so either rent an apartment on Airbnb or fork up more money for a 4-star hotel at least.

After changing out of our airport clothes and into more comfortable clothes, we called for a ride via GrabCar to bring us to Asiatique. As our hotel was located in an inconvenient location, we passed by MANY districts on the way to Asiatique. I must say it was quite nice passing by the different districts. I enjoyed seeing the streets of Bangkok because it looked a little bit like the streets of Philippines.

Streets of Bangkok

When we reached Asiatique, I found the place quite lively – filled with eateries, shops, and activities. Honestly, the main reason why I wanted to go to Asiatique was because I wanted to ride the Ferris Wheel. I know you can find that anywhere but this Ferris Wheel was beside the Riverfront which to me, is the closest thing I can get to experiencing a carnival by the seaport like the ones you see in movies.

Pretty lights at Asiatique

Aerial view of Asiatique from the Ferris Wheel.

By the Riverfront.

Asiatique is like a cross between Clarke Quay and Bugis Street to me.

Before we hopped on the Ferris Wheel, we walked around for a bit to see what the shops were selling. They had all kinds of things there – clothes, bags, swimwear, handmade soaps, Muay Thai clothes, medicine etc. We saw a few things we liked but decided to walk further before purchasing anything incase another shop was selling it cheaper. We got a little hungry after awhile and decided to have some delicious banana and chocolate rotee, and egg and chocolare rotee. We didn’t think it’d be so huge and we were not that hungry because of the late lunch we had so we ended up not finishing everything.

Note to self: Always order one first!

Marion with his Egg and Chocolate Rotee. The stall’s just behind him.

This is very similar to the local Roti Pratas that are served here in Singapore, but adapted to Thai taste. They add condensed milk in the layers which makes it a very sinful treat. This rotee however did not have the condensed milk in it. I think to enjoy that sinful rotee, you’d have to really buy them from the streets. Nonetheless, it was still delicious and we enjoyed some nice Thai Iced Milk Tea from the same store after all the shopping.

After having our Rotee, we bought tickets to go up the Ferris Wheel – THB 300 per person, about SGD 12.18 per person. This is unlike the Singapore Flyer where it only goes one round and it’s incredibly slow. This goes through 3 rounds and it moves at a much quicker space. I have a little fear of heights so I was a little nervous at first. The cabin was nice – air-conditioned, music and lights. By right, we were supposed to share the cabin with others since we didn’t buy the private one but they were nice enough to give people cabins of their owns so we didn’t end up sharing with anyone which is awesome! It’s nothing fantastic but the view from above was quite nice cause you can see the riverfront with all the boats, and the tour ferries, the carnival, the shops, the nightlife etc. It’s a touristy thing to do but I have no regrets. I had two very handsome views that night – one was of my sweetheart, and the other was of the Riverfront scene.

The Ferris Wheel at Asiatique.

Our cabin on the Ferris Wheel.

After the Ferris Wheel, we walked around to explore the eateries they had. We came across quite a few interesting cafes. If we had more appetite and more money, we’d definitely be cafe hopping and trying the different food. Each cafe was interesting in their own way. There was one that allowed you to dine at the top, open-air, and it was just a two-story building on it’s own; another was decorated with bike accessories. I told myself not to be tempted to try cafe food too because it’s Bangkok and Thai food is the focus! So we walked along and did some shopping. I bought a nice tribal style bucket bag because I’m into tribal prints. It’s a nice mixture of blue and orange – Marion helped pick it out for me. Managed to bargain for a slightly cheaper price but didn’t want to push my luck. I also bought a nice blank muscle tank top with Gold Elephant embroidery on it as a representation of Thailand. Marion and I got Star Wars graphic tees each – His was of C3PO and mine was of Darth Vader. I saw a lot of cute summer dresses, rompers, and bikinis/monokinis too but I didn’t want to buy it because I have quite a wide hip and my butt tends to get in the way so I’m afraid to buy Rompers especially when you can’t try them. I was tempted to buy some dresses because ever since the weight gain, I haven’t been able to fit into my old dresses. I decided not to in the end because there was nothing that really struck my eye and I have this rule when I shop. Only buy something that catches your attention and ultimately looks nice on you. Unless there’s some sale going on, browse through the clothing rack. So nothing caught my eye as much – I found myself looking at the tribal bags a lot. We came across one shop owner that was pretty rude that Marion and I started laughing to ourselves after we walked away. She ran the Bikini store but there was a nice tribal bagpack I saw and was just enquiring how much it was. She told me THB 450 and was showing me how it can be converted to a sling bag. I didn’t fancy it as much because the straps didn’t look sturdy and I didn’t want to invest in something that I had to use so sparingly for fear it would give way soon. She kept lowering the price when I told her it’s okay. Finally, she said “THB 350, last price.” I wasn’t interested anymore because I didn’t like the straps so I continued saying thank you and it’s okay. She just sat down on her stool after and said “It’s okay, I know you won’t buy” but in a very annoyed manner. It was funny because I wasn’t even bargaining in the first place.

After all that walking, it was really late in Bangkok. The time was 11pm and we decided to call for a GrabCar back. Although the driver was nice, he seemed to have missed out some information when providing me with options. The traffic was bad in Bangkok at that time so to go back using the same way (passing through all the districts) would take us a longer time to reach our hotel, which I didn’t mind. The other option was to go by, in his words, “Another route, faster and no cars.” So obviously I requested for the latter. Halfway through the journey, he asked me for THB 50 to pay road toll. I wasn’t informed there’d be extra fees tagged to this route. At another point, he asked for THB 25 to pay another road toll fee. I didn’t mind needing to pay more but I wish he had mentioned it to me that there was going to be an extra fee to take this route, knowing that we were tourist and were not aware of the road toll fees.

Note to self: Next time enquire if there’ll be additional fees when they offer another route. 

Tourist fact: Uber in Bangkok is illegal. GrabCar is not as bad but Black plate is illegal and Yellow plate is not. Bike Taxis should only take 1 passenger – taking 2 at a time is illegal and it’s under table money to not get caught or charged by the law.

That concluded our first day in Bangkok. I was very happy that night because I felt like for the first time in a long time, Marion and I were on a date again. He’s been very busy with assignments and shoots this year so I didn’t get to see him as much. For me, since Max came into the picture, my every day routine had to change because I had to think of Max. This meant that I wasn’t as free on weekends to do whatever I liked cause Chels and I share a duty schedule to ensure we both get two weekends off each. Being in another country and exploring it with Marion just pleased my heart so much. I felt like we were catching up for all the days we couldn’t meet up and nights we had gone without talking over the phone because sometimes we’d request for our alone time as well. Marion was also always looking after me and finding directions to places so I was very thankful to have him with me. It was one of the best unplanned dates we had.

7 April –

This was a very hectic and busy day for us. We woke up early and wanted to grab a light bite – we ended up walking to Subway opposite our hotel. Marion had a sub and I just got some cookies. So much for Thai food. After which, we called a GrabCar to take us to Healthland Ekemai. Healthland is the spa place my dad took Tita and I too when we were in Bangkok 8 years ago. I enjoyed that spa so much because their service was good, the massage was just right, the ambience was clean and soothing and they served some sweet smelling hot tea after. Also, it’s pretty affordable. Since Healthland at Ekemai was the closest to our hotel, we went there instead as advised by Ton.

Healthland Ekemai

Walking to Ekemai Station

Waiting for the train at Ekemai

Oily and sweaty faces

I decided to take Marion to the spa here to relax since he’s been having a stressful time in school. I wanted to massage some knots in my neck and upper back too. We paid THB 1900 for 2. About SGD 77 per person and for 90 minutes. To me, that’s considered quite a good price. I wish we could have done the hot oil massage where they pour hot oil on your forehead in a continuous stream to help get you relaxed in a deep sleep. It sounded so good but it was very pricey so we just settled for an Aroma Oil Therapy massage. After 90 minutes of pure relaxation, we decided to walk to Ekemai BTS station to make our way down to MBK for lunch. That was a bad idea because MBK didn’t have the Thai food we wanted. I really wanted my Phad Thai and since I go back to being a Pescatarian only on holidays, I wanted the Prawn Pad Thai (unless there’s a vegetarian option). They only have chicken Phad Thai. At this point, I was getting super cranky from the hunger and it was already 2pm. We planned to go back to the hotel by 3pm so that we could get ready for the concert and reach the stadium by 4pm. I decided to just go to this place called ‘Inter Restaurant’ for lunch which was near Siam Square and not too far from MBK. I knew of this restaurant through Ladyironchef’s review on BKK and the food. Thankfully, my ever patient and loving partner directed us to the new location of choice pretty efficiently. He even offered to buy my Thai Milk Tea along the way to pacify my hunger because I tend to go back to being a kid when I’m cranky from hunger, but there was no Thai Milk Tea along the way (what???).

Green Curry with Chicken

Oyster Omelette

Phad Thai with Prawns

Tom Yum Goong

When we got to Inter Restaurant, we ordered 5 dishes for 2 person. We have the tendency to over order when we’re hungry. We ordered Thai Chicken Green Curry, Tom Yum Goong, Shrimp Phad Thai, Oyster Omelette, Stir Fry Mixed Vegetables and of course Thai Milk Tea. Obviously we didn’t intend to finish our food because the point of it was just to get as much variety of Thai food on that day since it was the only day we had left to properly get our dose of Thai Food. I felt bad wasting food but we didn’t waste as much. Also, just an FYI – I did not not eat Poultry or Red Meat on holidays even. I’m 98% Vegetarian, the other 2% is still a Pescatarian and that’s only on holidays. The total price for the dishes was less than SGD 50. 

After having a very satisfying lunch, we rushed back to our hotel via BTS. It was already 4pm by the time we reached the hotel. I gave up rushing cause it was just tiring me out and making me cranky. I knew we were already late but I still wanted to look good so I insisted on putting makeup on. Not that I know how to do proper makeup, my makeup process is so basic so I don’t usually take too long to put makeup on anyway. Marion was sweet enough not to make noise about that – instead he kept telling me it’s okay. He used that time to map out how to get to the stadium and it was then that we realised the walk to the stadium was 40 minutes from our hotel. We would consider Grab or BikeTaxi but the traffic was so bad and the queue for BikeTaxi from the BTS station was so long. We decided walking was the best option. So after feeling all nice and clean, we had to perspire again. :(

The insane queue to the Entrance to the stadium.

When we reached Rajamangala Stadium, there was a huge crowd waiting to enter the doors. We didn’t collect our tickets yet because we assumed it would be inside as we didn’t see the booth when we were walking towards the queue. So after queueing for awhile, the usher told us we had to collect our tickets and where exactly to collect them. It was pretty annoying cause it was quite messy. We finally found the booth and collected our tickets before making our way in (again). 

We’re finally in!

Got our Coldplay Tickets!

This is how close we were to the stage.

Waiting for the concert to commence.

The beautiful sunset in Bangkok.

The threatening clouds on one side.

After all that, we were finally able to relax a little on the stadium grounds while waiting for the concert to begin. It was a pretty long wait and the clouds looked threatening. The stadium is an open stadium so there would be no shelter should it rain. Thankfully, it did not – it was just a light drizzle. Coldplay only came on around 9pm. It was a pretty long wait. I didn’t like the lack of personal space while standing in the crowd and it didn’t help that I’m so short compared to the tall ang mohs, and some people’s B.O was really pretty bad. There were a few idiots who kept shoving their way to the front shamelessly and if you didn’t give way, they’d just keep nudging at you from behind which was VERY annoying. But what I did like is that it allowed me to step out of my comfort zone to talk to another couple beside us. We were annoyed with the same people – first, there was this dude beside us who tried to signal to his friend where he was by CONSTANTLY using his iPhone’s flash light in the air and the chick who nudged her way to the front blocking both our views. We were having mini conversations here and there and laughing at the same things so it was nice for a change.

The performance of ‘Yellow’.

Amazing light works.

That concert feel.

The wristbands that lit up in sync with the music.

Amazing light works.

The wristbands that lit up in sync with the music.

Coldplay finally came on and it was so amazing. There were fireworks, confetti and amazing light works going on. I was so mesmerised. Chris Martin sounds so good live and I just couldn’t believe I was so close to them. Their concert was super pretty and I’m so glad that I lost my concert virginity to Coldplay.

Yellow was the 2nd song in the set list and I was so excited for that because that was the song Marion sang to me before he enlisted in SAF. He enlisted on Feb 15 2013 so he posted a video of himself singing ‘Yellow’ to me and tagged me in. It was so cheesy and back then I didn’t feel shy about it but if he did that for me now, I’d be quite shy even though I always appreciate the gesture. So there’s a story behind that song. As Coldplay was singing ‘Yellow’, Marion kissed me and it just made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. The other performance I enjoyed was ‘Magic’, ‘A Sky Full of Stars’, ‘Clocks’, ‘Every Teardrop is a Waterfall’, ‘Everglow’, ‘The Scientist’, ‘Paradise’, ‘Hymn for the Weekend’, ‘Fix You’, ‘Adventure of a Lifetime’, ‘Viva La Vida’, ‘In My Place’, ‘Til Kingdom Come’, and ‘Don’t Panic’. Okay basically I loved their setlist a lot.

I also loved how Chris Martin shared the spotlight with the rest of the band and how highly he spoke of them. I’ve always been into friendships so it’s so nice to see how strong their friendship is. They met in 1996 during their first week of attending a University College London. Jonny Buckland (Lead Guitar) and Chris Martin started the band with the others joining a bit later. They went on to record their first EP two years later and they were first called ‘Starfish’. It’s so amazing to see how far they’ve come and how strong their friendship remains. That, to me, was what made the concert even more special and amazing. You could really feel this sense of strong collaboration going on with these guys and how musically inclined each of them were.

After the concert, it was another 40mins walk back. We were hungry and thirsty but there were no suitable street food around so we decided to walk to MacDonald’s along the way back to our hotel. MacDonald’s closed and the sign ’24/7′ was a lie. So we continued walking after many pit stops in between because I was so tired. Converse shoes are really not the most ideal for walking. The heel area begins to hurt after awhile. We finally reached the hotel and crossed over to Family Mart to get some cup noodles or sandwiches. At this point, I was being an absolute grump and wasn’t the most gracious with my words. The cup noodles I got sucked so I ate the sandwich instead. Language barrier is a real challenge especially when you are desperate from something. After having food in my stomach, my crankiness died down.

The mess at the counter where people were preparing their cup noodles.

Dinner that night.

We went back up the hotel and freshened up before bed. I felt bad for being such a grump after the concert so I apologised to Marion for my impatience. He could only have the sweetest reply because he’s thoughtful like that. He told me that he knows that I tend to get cranky if I’ve been out for too long and he was really trying to get us back to the hotel as soon as the concert ended cause he knew we’ve been out for so long and my crankiness would be kicking in anytime now. It was sweet to me because he observed my moods and he learned that about me. I obviously felt bad so I apologised to him and told him how lucky I am and how much I love him. That night, I couldn’t even be bothered with the loud sounds, I knocked out completely.

8th April –

The next morning, it was time to fly back to Singapore. We felt a little sad because we were only there for technically less than three days. I didn’t have an issue making the trip longer but it was more of Marion’s schedule that required us to make this trip short so we kept it short. The traffic in Bangkok was once again so bad in the morning but Ton rushed to get us through. Upon reaching the airport and checking in, we got ourselves a quick breakfast meal and realised we were left with only 10-15 minutes to go through customs. I stupidly forgot to fill up my departure form so I had to fill it up on the spot.

Note to self: Just fill up both sides next time.

The view outside from my window seat.

We made it to our flight eventually but the flight back was not at all peaceful. A group of Chinese Nationals kept cutting the line while the rest of us lined up to have our boarding passes checked. I glared at one of them and she told me in Chinese how they were all in one group together. She was hinting to me that she was in the right of way when it was one of them who cut my queue. I ignored her and blocked her from getting her boarding pass checked first because I wasn’t taking any of that shit that day. I also want to teach them some manners. To my horror, from Bangkok to Singapore – I kept bumping into the exact same woman. They were behaving like barbarians on the plane – talking loudly, standing up before the plane has stopped moving completely and etc. I don’t mean to be xenophobic and I have some friends who are Chinese Nationals who are nothing like them, but their actions are really intolerable sometimes that it’s hard to remove that prejudice.

All in all, I had a good first trip with Marion and I am looking forward to more adventures with him. I cannot wait for Penang in May!

Marion & Cristy Travels| Bangkok The last time I travelled was in 2012 - that was a trip to Perth with my dad.

[inbonobo]

Mr. Ceccarelli, a retired baggage handler for Air Canada, was a father of two who loved hunting and prided himself on his ability to fix anything. He was in the midst of single-handedly repairing his flood-damaged Etobicoke basement when he started suffering persistent diarrhea and weight loss about three years ago, his daughter, Tracey Ceccarelli, said.

Mr. Ceccarelli went to the hospital, where the doctors who misdiagnosed him with ulcerative colitis treated him with steroids and anti-inflammatory medicines, unwittingly awakening the strongyloides he had no idea were in his bowel.

“Five days later, that’s when all hell broke loose,” Ms. Ceccarelli said. “It was literally four months of infection after infection.” After a heart attack, stroke, meningitis and stints in four different hospitals, a doctor finally tested him for strongyloides in August of 2014. He died a week later at the age of 67.

Andrea Boggild, a tropical-medicine specialist at Toronto General Hospital who has been helping Mr. Ceccarelli’s family raise awareness of the disease, said the widespread infection was discovered too late for oral ivermectin to have saved him, even if the medications had been readily available.

But Dr. Boggild said Mr. Ceccarelli’s case underlines the need for swift access to ivermectin and albendazole, which she uses in combination to treat strongyloidiasis.

“If you’ve got a patient in the ICU and they’ve got gram-negative sepsis or gram-negative meningitis and all of sudden someone thinks, ‘Wait a second, maybe we should test for strongyloidiasis’ and, lo and behold, they’re pumping out larvae, you can see how a six-day turnaround time is unacceptable,” Dr. Boggild said.

Supriya Sharma, Health Canada’s Chief Medical Officer, said the Special Access Programme makes “every effort” to respond to requests within 24 hours. The program has someone on call 24 hours a day, 365 days of the year, she said.

Many of the doctors interviewed for this story also said they have seen requests for ivermectin for strongyloidiasis approved within a day or two. The drug is frequently requested and the infection clearly meets SAP’s guidelines.

But when Dr. Boggild and a medical student reviewed all of the SAP requests that Toronto General Hospital’s Tropical Disease Unit filed for ivermectin and albendazole between 2013 and 2015, they found the average turnaround times were much longer: nine days in 2013, seven in 2014 and five in 2015.

Even in cases of strongyloidiasis hyperinfection, more than five days elapsed between a doctor submitting an SAP request and the Tropical Disease Unit receiving the drug, according to a summary of Dr. Boggild’s review published last month in the American Journal of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene.

Ms. Ceccarelli tested positive for strongyloides in her system after her father’s death. She wasn’t displaying any symptoms.

Doctors do not know where the father and daughter picked up the worms, or even if they picked them up in the same place. The elder Ceccarelli was born in rural Italy and could have acquired strongyloides as a child. Both he and his daughter travelled widely and could have got the worms on vacation.

After testing positive, Ms. Ceccarelli had to wait two weeks for ivermectin. “You’re told you have a parasite in your body. The first thing you think is, ‘Get it out of me,’ especially knowing that it killed my father,” she said. “I knew it wasn’t affecting me at that moment, but it’s psychological.”

Part of the reason for delays, Dr. Boggild and other doctors say, is the cumbersome process. Applications have to be faxed to Ottawa, where SAP’s reviewers often reject requests at first, asking for more information on the patient or more evidence from the medical literature. After SAP authorizes a request, the drug still has to be shipped.

“It has been an extremely frustrating process,” said Stephen Vaughan, a clinical assistant professor at the University of Calgary and an infectious-disease consultant. “[One response] we often get is to try an alternative medication, even though it’s been shown in high-quality studies that the SAP medication is the treatment of choice. The other [response] is just to provide more literature or better evidence, even though many of us have submitted this application 50 times. They know – or they should know – the evidence for a number of these common indications.”

Delays are one issue. Gaps in Health Canada’s approach to unlicensed drugs are another.

Consider cutaneous larva migrans (CLM), a skin disease caused by cat or dog hookworms common in the tropics. If one of the parasites finds its way into a human, it crawls around under the skin, searching in vain for a canine or feline blood vessel to hook onto.

CLM causes itching so intense it keeps people from sleeping or working. But it does not kill.

Unlike strongyloidiasis, CLM does not strictly fit SAP’s “serious” or “life-threatening” criteria, meaning SAP often – but not always – rejects requests for ivermectin or albendazole to treat it, doctors say.

“It’s a Catch-22,” said Anne McCarthy, an Ottawa tropical-medicine doctor and the chair of the Committee to Advise on Tropical Medicine and Travel, which provides advice to the Public Health Agency of Canada. “If you say somebody has cutaneous larva migrans, it’s not unreasonable for [SAP] to reject that. That’s the problem.”

Ryan Cooper, an Edmonton infectious-disease doctor who specializes in tuberculosis, has run into a similar problem with rifapentine, a medication that is not licensed in Canada, but that could help stop the spread of TB.

Although rare among non-aboriginals born in Canada, TB remains a concern in First Nations communities, especially in the North. When doctors diagnose a case of active TB, they try to find the patient’s family, friends and neighbours and start them on a course of preventive treatment that can require as many as 270 pills – a pill a day for nine months.

Rifapentine, combined with another drug that is already available in Canada, can provide the same result if taken once a week for three months. But a medication for patients who are not yet sick, and who have access to an alternative drug, hardly fits SAP’s mandate.

Still, Dr. Cooper managed to convince SAP to release some rifapentine last year when active cases of TB were diagnosed on two reserves outside Calgary.

“They gave us a few courses before they realized this was more of a routine use, rather than a special use,” he said. “I think I probably could have pushed it, but each individual case I had to negotiate. That generated quite a bit of delay in getting the pill to the ground where the patients need it.”

Dr. Sharma, Health Canada’s chief medical officer, said SAP has not received many requests for rifapentine. The Public Health Agency of Canada is about to conduct a survey of TB doctors to see if there is a broader public health need for the drug, she added.

But if there is a wider need for rifapentine, what can Health Canada do if no drug company can recoup its costs – never mind turn a profit – by selling the drug here?

In the case of ivermectin and albendazole, Health Canada has worked behind the scenes in the past to persuade the drugs’ makers to apply for market authorization, at the urging of physicians such as Dr. McCarthy and Brian Ward, the associate director of the J.D. MacLean Centre for Tropical Diseases at McGill University in Montreal.

Despite Health Canada offering expedited reviews and reduced application fees, Merck, which makes ivermectin, and GSK, which makes albendazole, have declined. Both companies give the drugs away for free through Canada’s Special Access Programme.

Sandra Wainwright, the executive director of regulatory affairs at Merck Canada, said the company’s decision not to market ivermectin in Canada goes back to the mid-1990s when there was little need for the drug here. Now, as more immigrants, refugees and travellers arrive in Canada from tropical regions, Merck is reconsidering.

Ms. Wainwright said Merck is in “very preliminary” discussions with Health Canada about applying to license ivermectin. “It would totally be driven by needs expressed by the community. That certainly is not a commercially driven activity.”

The number of Canadians who request ivermectin through SAP may be small, but it is growing, according to figures compiled by Health Canada for The Globe and Mail. In 2015, doctors requested the drug 685 times, up 43 per cent from 444 requests in 2012. Of those requests, about 80 per cent were granted, roughly the same authorization rate as the previous three years.

Requests for albendazole have bounced around more – 220 in 2015, 287 in 2014, 261 in 2013 and 234 in 2012 – and the authorization rate has ranged from a low of 62 per cent in 2012 to a high of 81 per cent in 2013. SAP requests for five other unlicensed drugs on the tropical-medicine community’s wish list ranged from a handful to several dozen annually, depending on the drug and the year.

GSK declined an interview request, but a spokeswoman said by e-mail that, “due to the rare occurrence of parasitic worm infections in Canada, and the permission to provide albendazole through Health Canada’s Special Access Program, we made the decision not to seek approval to market the product locally.”

Dr. Sharma said Health Canada is working hard to make SAP work better, including by asking its reviewers to pick up the phone and explain to doctors why they initially reject applications.

For Dr. Vaughan in Calgary, improvements cannot come fast enough.

“What I worry about most is that we’re going to have a patient that’s going to become very ill with disseminated strongyloidiasis, or they may even die, while waiting for the treatment to be approved and transferred from Ottawa to a site. I don’t want a case like that to have to happen before there are changes to the system.”

(via Why world-beating tropical drugs are so hard to get in Canada - The Globe and Mail)

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Growing Up Guide Pup: From Idea to Reality

Amie and I have learned so much over the last several years.  We have matured a lot as puppy raisers, as well as learned an awful lot about the video business.  Moreover, what it is going to take to make Growing Up Guide Pup viable long term.  Still in the interum of progress, I felt the need to write a new blog on Growing Up Guide Pup as its been several months.  As of how we got to where we are today.   I hope our fans enjoy and thanks to all for your continued support.

Back in 2009, I was creating how-to videos released under my moniker “ChappyShowcase” which were videos about low budget film making.  Although I released all kinds of videos in different genres, the how-to film making seemed to resonate more than any other types of videos I made.  The economy had collapsed, video creators had no money, and low budget film making spoke to that.  Consistently I found good feedback and people offering to pay me to make my “$30 Steadicam” for them; named after a how-to video of the same subject.   I was not interested in doing this, but found it a pleasant experience to get so much feedback.  It was amazing making a video rendition of a recycled design I had learned about nearly 7 years earlier back in the dial modem days of the internet.  This single video got me more serious about doing more although I had already put out a few dozen videos scattered over a few months.

After a few years of freelancing as a cinematographer/editor, as well as producing an exhausting amount of wedding videos with my production company, I was deeply affected by the crash of my video business in late 2007.  I lost nearly all my clients, however took the opportunity to look for other avenues to do video.  I recently had read about sites like Youtube, Metacafe, Revver, and Crackle in Videomaker Magazine.   I had really wanted to tell my own stories, not work for other people, but this idea was kind of a dream.  What had seemingly been good as a videographer, no longer existed in a flash so what did I have to lose?  Up to that point Youtube and other “user generated sites” had only been around for months not years.  These sites seemed to have a stigma of only containing crappy videos from amateurs.  I remember the sentiment that respectable filmmakers didn’t do that sort of thing.  No one I knew in the video business was making videos and putting them up for free on these unique sites, I thought I might as well put up a few I had created since they had screened and then died.  I put “Nerves of Steel” and “In Case of Emergency” up.  Two films I had screened at some smaller film festivals.

After figuring out a dozen “user generated” sites or so, I instantly loved the fact that there was immediate feedback and fulfillment from an audience.  Before I had to find a place to screen a film and it could take months if not years to find a festival.  By the time that happened, I may hardly remember why i made the film in the first place.  What an amazing thing this “user generated online distribution” was for producers.  I uploaded the same videos to all the sites and was able compare the views and reactions.  Not only did I learn about what videos were most popular, I also learned the value of working with the right distribution partners.  One week in the summer of 2008 I had the opportunity to film Streaming Media West at their annual conference which took place in Silicon Valley.  This conference put together by Dan Rayburn featured one panel about a new thing called a web series.  Show creators with titillating new brands included Rocketbook, and Political Lunch spoke about what they were doing.  The market for such an idea was really immature, but the opportunity was good according to them.  The web series was to be the next big thing in their estimation.  The internet was the wild west where there were no rules to speak of.  No technical specifications, no close captioning, no format restrictions, and the list went on and on.  A video creator could do whatever they wanted and tons of sites like Youtube would host the videos for free too.  This seemed to be a no brainer for me to experiment with more.

I though more and more about producing a web series in 2008 after a year of distributing videos all over the internet.  My documentary “Nerves of Steel” featured on Crackel for nearly a year, then ChappyShowcase became a partner producer with Metacafe.  Shortly after that Youtube accepted my application to be a “producer partner” as well.  These events really got my hooked into the possibilities of what a web series may present.  Especially now that i had learned the value of intellectual property and money working for you and not the other way around.  I felt a web series was a better idea because it was serial or episodic in nature.  This sort of distribution approach could be a better way to build an audience.  I experienced that my videos were often one-off and not serial even if some of them were getting pretty good hits.  The one-off videos were not seemingly connected from one upload to another.  Perhaps this gave my viewers no reason to necessarily check back in and watch new videos.  One week I may put up a Samoan music video from a guy who had not payed me (so this was my way at some sort of monetization) for the work.  Another week I may put up a grease monkey video of a time lapse car repair I did.  Yet another time I would release a parody I made with my brother years earlier; shot on analog video.  Although I did find many would simply binge view my content all at once for a day or two, a serial show may bring people back by the nature of the release and continual story forward.  This could go on for months, or maybe even years.  More and more people (on Youtube especially) were starting to put out a web series of some sort.  Some releasing a new episode once a month, or once a week, or even some did it once a day.

Some years before all of this, my wife and I started raising guide dogs for the blind in 2002.  Over the following decade we really started to enjoy it and couldn’t believe how fulfilling it was to help other people.  “Could we make a web series about this guide dog stuff?”  We became good friends with the visually impaired partner who received our first guide pup Macklin.  Her genuine appreciation and ability to raise her level of productivity in life was so apparent that it just smacked me in the face.  “This is a whole new narrative world I have hardly seen in tv or movies” I thought.  After a few days of talking about it, my wife Amie and I decided to give it a shot and make a web series.  At least we figured we would try putting out a video once a week for a little while.

Growing Up Guide Pup was to be the name of the series.  We really didn’t have much of a plan as we decided to experiment and remove conventional production bureaucracy so we could move quickly.  We had a new puppy arriving shortly.  Two days after the idea, I already had camcorder in hand and was filming cause a puppy had become available.   That first episode we decided to design a format that even the visually impaired could enjoy through colorful description.  At first we focused on story, not production value.  We filmed with a cell phone for the first time so we could get footage in the grocery store without a hassle.  We focused on spontaneity and decided to keep the amount of oversight and cost to a minimum.  My in kind equipment from my video business would be fine to make the series, and my prior online distribution experience with ChappyShowcase made me comfortable enough to move forward with a once a week video release approach.  We released a video every week as our new puppy Ricki matured.  Episode after episode we couldn’t believe how fun the process was for us.  We also got more feedback and appreciation than we had anticipated.  We started hearing from people who lived in other parts of the US, and even other countries.  The service dog school we were working with at the time caught wind of what we were doing and starting promoting our videos and writing blogs so get more PR for themselves.  The next thing we knew, our series was not an experiment anymore.  it seemed to be working as a moving story piece and the puppy appeal was undeniable.

Our series was accepted in the New Media Film Festival in 2010 while we were still filming the first season about Ricki.  This was about 8 months after we had started.  It was amazing how fast things work with the internet.  Before we knew it, we had made a relationship with Nylabone dog toys and did our first contest giveaway.  After a year, we had several thousand loyal fans as we continued to make the series and grow our core followers of dog lovers, puppy raisers, service dog people, and the visually impaired.  Eventually this landed us an invitation to screen our series at the first and still largest web series festival in the world.   Its called the LAWebFest and was founded by Michael Ajakwe Jr.  It rendered awards for many things, but most importantly “Outstanding Non-Fiction Series” two years in a row in 2011 and 2012.  In 2013, we also received an award at CreaTV Awards in Silicon Valley for  “Outstanding CreaTiVe Award Feature Winner”.  After we finished our 2nd season with our dog Pilaf, we decided to stop for awhile and focus on our eldest states dog.  Our career changed guide dog pup named Eli had cancer and we wanted to focus on his last months.  He recently passed just shy of his 10th birthday, which was tough, but gave us a lot of time to reflect.  We had for the first time experienced the entire life-cycle.   One of our guide dog puppies had been with us from the beginning all the way to the end.  This was the last part needed to give us complete perspective.

It is 2014, and we are now ready to get serious with Growing Up Guide Pup once again.  Older, wiser, more experienced, and full of a renewed passion for storytelling my wife and I are excited about the endless opportunities Growing Up Guide Pup presents.  In 2013 we spent six moths and hired consultation to build a business plan for Growing Up Guide Pup which would allow us to create a sustainable brand.  We also have done a lot of research about non-profit formation as well as making it a opportunity for investors.   Both are possibilites and we will rule nothing out as neither has taken hold.  We are now prepared after years of homework and study to implement a tv show addition to our already established web series program and move both forward together.   Growing Up Guide Pup is ready to go from web series to beyond!

For more details on our products and services, please feel free to visit us at:  service dog info, service dog education, service dog in training, sdit, service dog in training acronym.