#also... obelisks are already two years old??? huh??? what

[vethale-fr]

All previous FR anniversary updates. Let's see what we get this year!

[reaction2whatever]

Agents of SHIELD S2E05-S2E08 reaction

I feel like I have the most fun every day watching agents of shield

Who knew an already finished series is this fun lol

Anyways I'm looking forward to what's going to happen!

Agents of SHIELD S2E05

-ugghh I hate it that Coulson is being all serious boss around Skye

-I understand his reasons but I hate the circumstances

-Skye's dad is really scary looking

-He's enough to make Raina nervous and I'm wondering what's their background story

-"That's not her name" What's Skye's real name? Where is her dad in all those years? why is the obelisk going to make Skye understand him?

-Yes Jemma Simmons she's so brilliant that she's the best in shield AND she's the best in Hydra.

-"I was a fat baby" to a religious painting lol I like Hunter

-Coulson believes Skye is an alien lol and Skye shouting "epic fail" I'm glad to see Skye's humor is still there

-Scary hydra lady is grilling Simmons ahhh I'm scared for her

-Did Jemma just frame a hydra scientist oh I'm so proud of her

-to be fair he did say mass murder was cool so I don't feel bad for him

-oh no not Simmons

- Raina! leave my brilliant baby be!

-I mean there is no way Simmons is gonna die right?

-But knowing she probably won't die still makes me anxious

-Hydra scary lady is very scary but she's also very pretty

-I like bossy women ugghh especially when she's like threatening Jemma

-Hydra just got more interesting with the scary pretty lady because now they have a villain woman. Hydra is kinda boring with just some old white men brainwashing people

-Skye is so ready to hand herself over to save Simmons awwww she's so sweet

-Why won't Coulson take the deal???

-run Jemma run!!!!

-waaaaiiiiit scary hydra lady is shield?

-ugghh I JUST said that Hydra got more interesting?!

-I don't know, Hydra just got boring again

-I want a villainous dangerous woman is that too much to ask for (Not Raina though, she just roam around acting like she's bad and she doesn't kick ass and her bad guy motives are pretty vague

-I don't understand why Hydra bad guys just... chase them down the corridor but don't really fire their gun?

-Just look at this right? why don't they just shoot her lol they just march closer villainously

-If I'm hydra and chasing a mole imma just shoot her lol

-I mean I don't want Simmons to get hurt but this scene makes no sense whatsoever

-But come to think about it cloaking a full ass plane in the middle of a city also makes no sense so imma stop asking questions lol

-I know I've said it before and imma say it again: just how cool Skye is in that operative outfit

-Ma'am you are so gorgeous and handsome

-ughhh Skye finding dead bodies of her dad I can't imagine how she feels

-Bobbi. You are a woman who knows how to make an impression

-What an entrance to the show, seriously

-Simmons, are you developing a crush on Bobbi?

-FitzSimmons reunion! finally! just talk it out now! whatever is going on between you two!

-Bobbi is Hunter's hell beast ex-wife???????

-Did not see that coming

-so Bobbi vouched for Hunter lmao

-It's very hard imagining Bobbi with... Hunter? like how?? they don't look like they used to be together? It's hard to imagine them as couples

-Skye is determined to take dad down huh poor girl

-She's determined to stop a monster murderer dad who abonded her

-That's just got to be a lot for a person

-Ahh villain meeting

-I mean I should care about the villains but they are just three old dudes being villainous together

-The only interesting thing about these three is that one of them is Skye's dad lol

Agents of SHIELD S2E06

-I miss scenes of Jemma and Skye together

-ahhh it's short but at least Jemma and Skye talked

-why are things still awkward between FitzSimmons

-what happened between them

-I feel like Ward is very much a resemblance of an abusive partner?

-He knew that the topic of parents is something that will get under Skye's skin and he used that to his advantage all the time

-He's also guilt-tripping Skye with that "I never lie to you" thing

-Ward is treating being honest with Skye as some kind of peace offering or some kind of great thing that he is doing... it's just weird and creepy

-Like being honest is a basic human decency

-every time Ward uses information on Skye's dad to get under Skye's skin I get uncomfortable

-yeah now I can imagine Bobbi and Hunter used to be together lol the way they are bickering sounds very much like a married couple to me lmao

-Bobbi and Hunter arguing? that's fun. FitzSimmons arguing? that's heartbreaking

-mmmm Grant brothers going against each other huh

-I don't really know whose story to believe

-Okay no matter what happened at that well

-Ward did not just say to Skey that everything her father did was because her father loved her

-Ward man, come on, you said you killed the vegetable man because of Skye

-Now he's saying her father killed people because of Skye

-It's for sure a way to make Skye feel guilty. Because Skye's heart is pure and kind, she's gonna feel guilty

-She never asked Ward to kill vegetable man, just as she didn't ask her dad to kill

-Stop guilt-tripping Skye thank you very much

-The moment Skye smiled and asked about her mom I knew she was playing Ward

-Lol Skye saying please Ward is very much just manipulating Ward

-She's using Ward's methods against him

-mmmm I don't know about the returning to brother thing

-They are manipulating each other but I'm very much on Skye's side because she didn't murder anyone like Ward did lol

-Bobbi in that suit. Ma'am who gave you the right to look this hot

-I feel like Bobbi and Hunter are definitely gonna get back together. Is there even a question? they are too obvious lol

-Bobbi is even more stunning now that she's a blonde

-I still don't understand why Simmons left. Did she think she was making Fitz worse?

-The way Simmons stands before Skye shielding her from Ward. That's friendship

-Ward escaped......who would have thought normal police couldn't have contained a super well-trained spy agent lololol

-Thinking about how Ward took down 12 guys in the first season honestly he's a tough one to take down

-What was anyone thinking when they give a top-secret agent to normal police this is so predictable and preventable

Agents of SHIELD S2E07

-Coulson is falling to a deep end

-this crazy carving thing is Coulson's plot this season and.... again why am I not interested lol

-Coulson is the lead of this show I should be interested in him but I just don't

-So other people are also carving

-Damn Ward made Bobbi so quick I did not expect that

-mmm why is it that Skye never carved

-Is it because she's young and healthy?

-Is there even a reason why Skye doesn't carve?

-This GH325 drug has a theme song lol and it's creepy

-Skye locked up by Coulson omfg, he's really losing it

-This poor guy is genuinely not aware of what's going on and Coulson just kept on asking him questions. Is Coulson really losing his mind

-What were they looking for though?

-Ohhhh it's not 2D, i's a 3D thing

-At least the Tahiti program helped the welding guy

-That's something

-I'm glad that Coulson is not crazy anymore

-Skye hasn't been hacking much this season and I'm glad they finally got her to hack hydra guy's phone

-Fucking Ward again do they ever leave Skye alone

Agents of SHIELD S2E08

-The Chinese this woman speaks is.... so cringe

-I know she's supposed to be special or something that she can hold the obelisk

-but her Chinese is horrible lol

-Bobbi saying Whitehall is boring is so on point lol. That's what I thought Bobbi!

-Bobbi would have made a much more interesting evil bad guy

-I hate to say this but Ward is actually the best villain of this show even though he's almost always locked up

-He gets under my skin, not those Hydra whatevers

-Bobbi analyzing the enemy is sooooo hot for some reason

-Simmons being a fangirl over a file is sooo cute

-So Ward's brother did lie. When he was talking to Coulson he's like "Oh it's a well now" when this episode he knew instantly it's about the well

-So Ward's well story is true?

-So Whitehall lived a very long life huh

-How did he manage to live this long?

-he experimented on the woman who doesn't speak Chinese huh

-why is it that this woman can pick up the obelisk and doesn't age?

-Is there an explanation?

-oh hydra guy fully just killed himself huh

-So Ward's old brother really made Ward hurt his younger brother

-ugghh Ward's childhood is so messed up

-I feel like he's found closure and mmm maybe he'll be a better man now that he's got closure

-Skye putting a vest on Trip mmmm interesting I like how casually she's just dressing him

-is there a ship between Trip and Skye?

-Trip is an upgraded Ward. He's operative, badass, and very much not Hydra lol

-Oh fuck as soon as I say something nice about Trip, he's shot

-annnnd now Skye's dad is threatening Coulson with Trip's life

-I guess this Skye Trip ship is not happening lol

-Oh Skye's biological dad got jealous of Coulson lmao

-Is this the way this show tells me Coulson is Skye's father figure lol

-The way Coulson and Skye's bio dad arguing with each other for Skye lol

-Ugghh this Whitehall guy is really just evil

-Cutting into another person to make himself live

-and Ward is working with him

-and Ward killed his brother and parents

-Just when I thought Ward could get redeemed he turns to the dark side again

-lol the way Bobbi and Hunter was bickering and then having sex

-They are definitely gonna get back together lol they are cute

-What the fuck?????

-Skye's dad knows that cut-up woman???? He calls her "my love"????

-and he said"It's good to look at the enemy in the eye" while looking at Whitehall

-waiiiittttt nooooo is that woman Skye's mom

-So Skye's dad is working with Whitehall to revenge Skye's mom???? because Whitehall killed her?

-wait wait wait if Skye's mom can hold the obelisk does that mean Skye's gonna be able to do that too? is skye gonna live very long too?

-wtf is happening did I read that wrong

[tjkiahgb]

Episode Recap: 3.19, “A Moving Day”

Can you believe we only have 50 or so minutes of content left with this show?

I want to love every single one of them and not take any for granted. Each minute feels truly precious.

Never mind.

Folks... we got ourselves a Toast-Off!

Cyrus has brought Jonah, Buffy, and Andi together to make toast. I wish I had more here, but that’s the extent of it.

Jonah presents his toast first. It’s burnt.

Andi says toasters are the trickiest appliance in the kitchen, which is true. Sure, anybody can figure out how to put the bread in, but when it comes time to select between the settings of Light, Medium, and Dark, too many people just twist the dial all the way past dark to Burnt to a Crisp. Avoid that setting. That’s where most people get tripped up.

Jonah advises Cyrus to not eat his burnt bread, and Cyrus agrees.

Buffy presents her toast, which is more like the concept of toast.

Buffy claims it wasn’t fair because Jonah was using the toaster. To think, if only Jonah had used the toaster less, both he and Buffy could’ve made decent toast and been in the running to win... I don’t know, something. I really don’t know what we’re doing here.

Anyway, because Jonah sabotaged both his and Buffy’s chance to win the Toast-Off, Andi can walk away with the competition if she’s just made a piece of non-ruined toast.

And, of course, Andi went extra and made some kind of toast chicken coop.

Seems like an easy win, but Cyrus can’t declare it thus until he’s had a taste.

He thinks it’s pretty good, but there’s a flavor on it he can’t place. What is that, he asks.

Cyrus spits it out as Jonah and Buffy chuckle about one of their friends almost poisoning their other friend.

I guess it was only right to get one last random cold open in before the show ended. Here’s to the nonsense cold opens: the Toast-Offs, the extended oral hygiene montages, the projects for school about eggs, the bad coffees made, the phone chargers stolen, the games of Scrabble played, the times the Mack family argued about what to eat or what to watch or who stole clothes from whom. Oh, random nonsense cold opens, you were always... there, and we shall sometimes remember you.

49 or so minutes left. Each one from here on out? Truly precious.

At Celia’s, Celia has gathered her family around to do an aggressively large jigsaw puzzle.

Frankly, I’m a bit worried for her. This puzzle size is the type you buy when you want to make a statement: No, I don’t have anything better to do and no, I don’t plan on leaving the house for the next week! This puzzle is my life now.

Bex comes walking in, finishing a phone conversation. She tells the family she won something. The family guesses what she won, but they don’t come anywhere close to the right answer, which is a free meal cooked by famous chef Raoul Ricci. No one’s heard of Raoul Ricci, not even Celia, which you might think would tip them off that something’s afoot here, but no one seems interested in digging for the truth.

Even a quick Google search would’ve told them that something was wrong, as it seems the only known Raoul Ricci is an Italian dentist.

Or, as they call them in Rome, a dentista.

Anyway, Bex explains, through a long and bewildering story, Raoul Ricci was famous and had restaurants, but then he didn’t want to have restaurants anymore, so he left to be a hermit.

Andi’s like...

...oh, can we keep him?

Bex explains the prize is that he’s going to cook for them. They just have to go out into the forest and find him. Once they do, though, he’s going to make them the meal of a lifetime.

I can’t stress enough how shady this sounds. There’s a 75% chance this ends with Raoul Ricci chasing the Macks through the woods in some kind of “Most Dangerous Game” type scenario.

Bowie and Andi are in. Celia’s like, this sounds like an awful pain.

Bex warns her if she doesn’t go, the whole family is going to “rhapsodize” about this meal forever. Quick question: where does Bex get off? Just dropping rhapsodize in a sentence like that? Who does she think she is? I’m offended for Celia and I’m offended for us.

Celia is still not interested, despite the threats of rhapsodization, so Bex turns to Andi and Bowie for help. They basically say they’re not going to do puzzle-time with Celia unless she goes with them to the woods, so she relents, with one condition.

A puzzle so big it causes you mental anguish just thinking about it. It ain’t a real puzzle unless your fingers are bleeding by the end.

Meanwhile, Cyrus, Buffy, and Jonah walk around, somewhere, and talk about that “thing” they all have tomorrow. Jonah’s worried he won’t be able to make the thing because his family is moving. Cyrus and Buffy agree to help him move, but Jonah asks Buffy if she will be able to, given her foot and all.

Buffy’s like, of course I can...

Okay, but I’m pretty sure a strong gust of wind could lift Cyrus. I would require stronger proof. Jonah, however, doesn’t need to see more than that minor show of strength, and agrees to let them help.

The next day, the Mack family is all loaded up in Celia’s SUV that we’re seeing for the first time this entire series in the penultimate episode. Celia goes through a long series of things to get ready to leave: moving seats, checking mirrors, putting on gloves, searching for sunglasses. It’s agonizing.

Eventually Celia puts on her suit of knight armor and night-vision goggles and chugs an entire large coffee and she’s ready to operate a motor vehicle.

I do want to warn her though, she should make sure all those production lights and reflectors are moved out of the way before she starts driving.

Wouldn’t want to run over one of the crew members.

Celia drives off. They head for the mountains.

And in a hurry, too. Celia seems to be doing at least 80 on these winding mountain roads.

Me? I’d be worried about ice or sudden hazards or taking a turn too fast, but I guess the Macks trust Celia’s driving ability more than I trust my own.

The Macks all sing songs and make jokes and-- OH MY GOD!

LOOK OUT FOR THAT BUS!

THEY’RE BOTH DOING 70 ON A TWO LANE MOUNTAIN ROAD AND HEADING RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER!

IS EVERY DRIVER IN THIS TOWN MAD?!

The family survives that hairpin turn, though, and makes it up to Mount Washington, named, of course, after America’s most famous obelisk.

Bex leads them onto the trail at Panther’s Hollow, which naturally leads Celia to ask if there are panthers around. Bowie’s like, no, no. Well, maybe one.

And then he scares the hell out of an already nervous elderly woman.

Everyone has a good laugh about it and they set off walking to find the hermit.

Then we get about twelve minutes of footage of the Mack family walking through the woods. I’m not going to include screencaps. I’m just adding that for posterity’s sake.

Over at the storage unit the Beck family rented to put all their stuff in, Cyrus and Buffy help Jonah move said stuff into trucks.

Cyrus comes across a crate of old VHS tapes and DVDs and screams when he sees their contents.

He calls Buffy over to show her.

It’s Judy Bartholomew!

Who’s Judy Bartholomew? She’s an old workout video lady who became a meme. Cyrus feels like he has to show Buffy the video, so he pulls out his phone.

They both have a good laugh about it. Cyrus is surprised to learn she’s real. He’s like, I can’t believe how big a fan Jonah’s mom is. She must be to have the entire Judy Bart collection like this.

Then Jonah’s mom shows up and she’s like, hey Jojobear, can I finally meet your friends? The ones you’ve been good friends with for like a year and a half now and that you won’t let me be around for some reason?

She walks over to Cyrus and Buffy who are shocked to see the Judy Bartholomew standing right in front of them.

Jonah’s like, yeah, it’s her.

Honestly, I’m impressed Jonah’s been able to hide his mom from his friends for this long. Did they never hang out around his family? Did she never come to pick him up from some place?

And doesn’t she wonder who his friends are? When he’d talk about the stuff they’d done together, would she just sit there going, “Oh, that sounds nice, Jonah. Sure would like to meet some of your friends one of these days.” And would Jonah be like, “Uh huh, yeah, you should,” and then he’d just continue putting it off for 15 months? Just kept kicking that can down the road?

Anyway, I still appreciate the show broaching this subject. Media so often lacks in representation of children whose parents have become internet memes.

Back out in the woods, the Macks walk through the woods. All but Bex grow restless. They ask her for proof that she knows where she’s going, like a map.

This doesn’t make them feel comforted.

Bowie pulls Bex aside and asks her what’s really going on. Bex is like, you trust me, right? Bowie says of course. Bex is like, okay, good, back into the forest we go and she walks off.

Bowie tells Andi and Celia it will all be worth it, like a liar, and they start another walking through the woods montage. Bex carries Andi. Bowie carries Celia.

This episode has more characters carrying other characters than any other episode the show has done.

Back at the storage unit, Judy Bart teaches Cyrus and Buffy how to trot.

She’s doing like this locomotion move, very simple.

Cyrus is like, AM I DOING IT?!

As he twists his body back and forth and throws his arms out.

Like, no, man. You can’t tell that what you’re doing is nothing like what Judy is doing? That it’s like, almost the opposite of what she’s doing?

Judy tells Jonah to show them how to do it, so Jonah steps up and does a whole dance routine that I’m also not sure is what Judy was doing.

But it looked good and had a nice finish, so whatever.

Jonah says he’s been doing that since he was six and it’s permanently ingrained in his head now like so many childhood scars.

Then Judy’s like, hey, didn’t you kids have to be in the mountains right about now? And they’re like, oh yeah, we have to get changed and get to the mountains, so they leave her in the storage unit.

Speaking of the mountains, the Macks find rocks.

They collapse on the rocks.

Bex is like, no, don’t sit on rocks now! We almost made it. The family doesn’t want to believe her, but she convinces them it’s true. She leads them around the bend where they find a fancy set up and...

Cyrus?

You see, Cyrus, for three years now, has been posing as celebrity chef Raoul Ricci and sneaking off to the mountains to prepare three course meals for random tourists.

No, wait.

Buffy appears from out of nowhere and this whole thing reeks of a setup.

How in the world did these two get up here so fast from the storage facility? Helicopter?

Andi’s like, what is going on? Where is the hermit I was promised?

Bex tells everyone there’s no hermit. This was all made up to trick everyone into going to the mountains. Bowie asks why.

Bowie’s like, oh, is that back on?

Cyrus and Buffy bring them rings and flowers.

Bowie’s says finally and they embrace.

They all head for a gazebo.

Jonah plays Bowie’s song, “You Girl”, on the guitar.

Andi walks Bex to Bowie.

The two take each other’s hands as the officiant begins doing his officianting.

Where did he come from, too? Did Jonah and Buffy and Cyrus ride up here with him? Carpool?

The wedding goes as weddings do. You know, rings and stuff. Bex and Bowie are about to kiss when--

Everyone looks around trying to figure out whose phone that is before Andi realizes it’s hers. She shuts it off and the music and kissing starts again.

They complete the kiss this time.

Bex is like, I know... it’s been a lot. Thanks for not fleeing.

Later, Bex and Bowie delight in calling each other husband and wife. Everyone is sort of shocked it actually finally happened.

The Mack family (the ones we’re still counting) share a hug.

That night, Cyrus shows Andi the Judy Bart videos and then he brags that they spent the day with her. Jonah says he introduced her to them. Andi doesn’t believe he knows her, but Jonah’s like, yeah, I do.

Andi’s stunned. She feels bad, but, in fairness to Andi, it’s super weird that Jonah kept her hidden this long anyway, especially from Andi of all people. She couldn’t be expected to make that guess.

Jonah’s like, don’t feel bad, the whole thing is funny. He used to be embarrassed about it but he’s over it. Andi says she can’t wait to meet her. And then they talk about meeting Jonah’s dad. Buffy makes a joke about his dad being one of the hairy guys from the workout video and Jonah’s like, yeah, he is.

Everyone sits around thinking about this for a second before they all decide Jonah’s joking.

He’s not.

I don’t know what makes them think Jonah has suddenly acquired a subtle sense of humor. Jonah’s idea of jokes are jump scaring Andi and “S’less.” You really think he’s got a level of clever beneath all that that he’s been hiding for a year and a half as if it was his mother?

Jonah leaves without saying another word.

Can I just take a quick second to try to piece together the history of the Beck family, because I find it fascinating.

So, sometime in the 1980s/early 1990s (I assume based on the fashion), Judy Bartholomew makes it big as a workout video star. Jonah’s father, Mr. Beck, is hired at some point to be a background guy in one of her videos.

I assume this is where they meet and fall in love. Later, they get married and have Jonah.

In the years that follow, Jonah’s dad undergoes a full-body transformation, getting buff and changing hairstyles and retires from the workout video business to coach little league, and, I guess, control the finances of the Judy Bartholomew workout empire.

Eventually, Jonah’s dad invests the Judy Bartholomew fortune unwisely, and the family loses their house, and they’re homeless until very recently when he gets a new job. Doing what? I have no idea. I can’t begin to assume what his area of expertise is.

I guess my question is this: does any child in this town have a quiet, average family? Buffy’s mom spends half her life in foreign countries doing work for the military and Buffy’s family is still somehow the most normal of the group’s.

Later, Andi wanders off from the group and checks her phone. That call earlier? It was from SAVA.

The school left her a voicemail. Andi listens to it and gets sad, but I don’t think in the “rejected from a school” way.

Plus, I don’t think schools call you just to tell you to screw off. “Hi, this is Caroline from SAVA. Is this Andi Mack? Okay, great. Just calling to tell you you weren’t good enough to get into our school. Have a nice evening.”

Bex and Bowie sneak up on Andi and scare her.

God, this poor girl must live in constant fear. Why is everyone always doing this to her?

As the episode ends, Bex and Bowie talk about how happy they are right now. Andi says she is, too.

Though, as TJ would say, “Tell your face.”

Speaking of TJ...

Aww, this is the last time I get to be excited about seeing TJ in the scenes from the next episode.

One more to go, people. One more.

[heimwee2456]

Just like with other Germanic words, “Schönbrunn” can be literally translated to English and means “beautiful fountain”, a reference reportedly uttered by Emperor Matthias while passing by the fountain in 1619 while hunting.

In those days was this area, located circa 6 kilometres from the city centre, considered a countryside, therefore many aristocrats came here to relax and indulge in some hunting.

Trying to be the copy of the Palace of Versailles, Schönbrunn Palace was built in its current form on the peak of Austria’s Baroque glory over the course of several decades in the 18th century.

Austria’s mother of the nation, Empress Maria Theresia was the first who decided to make this former hunting chalet the summer residence of the Habsburgs. It was first modified in 1737 by Josef Emanuel Fischer von Erlach and again in 1744 by Nikolaus Pacassi. The formal gardens were originally laid out in 1705–06 by Jean-Nicolas Jadot de Ville-Issey and from 1765 were redesigned by Ferdinand von Hohenberg. Schönbrunn Tiergarten, perhaps the oldest zoo in Europe, was founded within the grounds in 1752.

Therefore this palace comes with all the bits and pieces a Baroque palace should have: pretty facades, formal gardens, amaze, an orangerie green house, a zoo, botanical gardens, facilities for carriages and for entertaining guests at state balls, state apartments and representative halls. The entire park complex, open to the public since 1918, covers more than 2 square kilometres.

While only 40 of the Schönbrunn Palace’s 1,441 rooms are open to the public, they are enough to provide visitors with a sense of its magnificence. Only accessible as part of a tour, the rooms on display include a number in the palace’s West Wing, home to the sumptuous Apartments of Emperor Franz Joseph and his wife Elisabeth (or Sisi).

Richly furnished in 19th-century style, the rooms include the Emperor’s Audience Chamber and the Walnut Room, named after its rich walnut paneling from 1766, a highlight of which is the candelabra carved out of wood and covered in gold. Another highlight is Franz Joseph’s Bedroom with the simple soldier’s bed in which the Emperor died on November 21st, 1916, after a reign of 68 years. Also of note here is Empress Elisabeth’s Salon with its pastel portraits of her children by Jean-Etienne Liotard.

Of the apartments once occupied by Maria Theresa, some of the most attractive are the Bergl Rooms, the richly furnished Garden Apartments with their exotic decorative styles and including works by Johann Bergl. Other highlights include Marie Antoinette’s Room (Napoleon famously stayed here) with its celebrated portrait of Francis I displaying the insignia of the Order of the Golden Fleece; the Nursery with its portrait of Marie Antoinette; the Yellow Room with its white marble clock, a gift from Napoleon III to Franz Joseph I; and the Breakfast Room with its fine floral paintings thought be the work of the Empress’ daughters. Also of note are the Great Gallery, once home to glittering Imperial banquets under ornate ceiling paintings; the Million Room, Maria Theresa’s private salon, paneled with precious rosewood, ornamented with gilt carvings, and home to some 260 Indian and Persian miniatures; and the Hall of Mirrors with its crystal mirrors in gilded Rococo frames.

There are plenty of tours offered, combining exploring the city centre with Schönbrunn, however, in my opinion is the best choice to tour the city centre by yourself for free (many audioguides are available for free on the internet, like izi.travel app, which provides detailed maps with very elaborate audioguide about each place on the map – only in Vienna I found about 9 tours all around the town (I tried three of them)). And then just come here and buy a classic tour around the chambers, without any expensive guides since even those can be found anywhere for free – you just have to know what to look for.

However, I prefer gardens more than the palace (that says a lot since I’m a passionate architecture lover). They’re way less crowded than the interiors and have a lot of secrets! Someplace it’s only you and the animals around. They kinda remind me of Versailles although those in Versailles are larger and hide more intimate corners.

Between the “landmarks” you’ve definitely already heard about or at least saw on some kind of social media re:

Gloriette – it was built as a belvedere around 100 years after the main palace and stands on top of a hill overlooking the baroque gardens, the palace and Vienna. There is an observation terrace on the flat roof, which can be used between April and November. Inside is a café/patisserie/breakfast point with, surprisingly, very good coffee and even better view.

left – view from the Gloriette, right – view at the Gloriette

ZOO – one of Europe’s best zoos, Schönbrunn Zoo is one of the best attractions if you visit Vienna with kids. It’s situated between the palace and Gloriette on the right side. It’s huge and breathtaking, therefore also a little bit expensive, but as for a one-time experience it’s amazing. I was there when I was about 11 (I had a thing for ZOOs and visited every single one within 600 kilometres from my hometown), and I remember liking this one the most. However, this time I didn’t visit it – I found 20 euros too much for my current financial state, huh.

For additional old world grandeur with a warm feeling head to the Palm house. The gigantic glass iron construction goes back to the late 19th century, and is the largest of its kind on the European continent. You will likely know Mediterranean, Tropical and Northern vegetation, but it’s nice to imagine the Habsburgs getting all excited about it. Clearly, the best time to visit the Palmenhaus is when it’s cold outside. This one is not for free, it’s part of those tours you can buy at the entrance.

Originally known as the Ruin of Carthage, the Roman Ruin is a set of follies designed by the architect Johann Ferdinand Hetzendorf von Hohenberg and erected as an entirely new architectural feature in 1778. Fully integrated into its parkland surroundings, this architectural ensemble should be understood as a picturesque horticultural feature and not simply as a ruin, which due to lack of maintenance it had increasingly grown to resemble prior to its recent restoration. The fashion for picturesque ruins that became widespread with the rise of the Romantic movement soon after the middle of the 18th century symbolized both the decline of once great powers and the preservation of the remains of a heroic past.

Erected at the same time not far from the Roman Ruin, the Obelisk Fountain was intended to complete the iconographic program of the park at Schönbrunn as a symbol of stability and permanence. The Roman Ruin consists of a rectangular pool enclosed by a massive arch with lateral walls, evoking the impression of an ancient edifice slowly crumbling into the ground. In the pool in front of the ruin is a seemingly haphazard arrangement of stone fragments supporting a figural group which symbolizes the rivers Vltava and Elbe.

the glorious palace

All in all, I think the best way to enjoy this magnificient complex is by simple walking around with your eyes wide open – I find those gardens the true architectural gem rather than the Baroque palace. I really loved this place and I recommend every one of you to visit it at least once in your life.

However, if I was supposed to choose between Schönbrunn and Versailles, I’d go for Versailles without any doubts, I like that feeling of secrecy between those neverending tall hedges in Versailles’ gardens.

but I mean….the trees aren’t bad here nonetheless

  And finally, how to get there?

From the centre, the U4 subway takes you to the palace and there are two relevant subway stations, however the one named simply “Schönbrunn” is the closer to the entrance gate than the other one, which is used more by locals who go for a run there.

Also trams 10 and 60, and bus 10A all have a stop called “Schloss Schönbrunn”, which is situated right opposite the main entrance. If the latter is not obvious (it should be), look for the huge gateway flanked by two giant marble columns topped by golden eagles.

Another option is to drive to the free car park intended for zoo visitors at the rear of the park area (Seckendorff-Gudent-Weg 1). That’s likely to have space unless it’s a weekend, holiday, or a particularly fine day. But I’d recommend you to leave your car behind, the public transport is cheaper and more ecological, so why not?

I’d like to ask you: Which do you like more? Gardens of Schönbrunn or Versailles? I’m very curious!

Have a great day!

  Schönbrunn Palace & Gardens

Just like with other Germanic words, “Schönbrunn” can be literally translated to English and means “beautiful fountain”, a reference reportedly uttered by Emperor Matthias while passing by the fountain in 1619 while hunting.

Schönbrunn Palace & Gardens Just like with other Germanic words, "Schönbrunn" can be literally translated to English and means "beautiful fountain", a reference reportedly uttered by Emperor Matthias while passing by the fountain in 1619 while hunting.

[harassing-minors-is-illegal]

gjidaso

this was technically supposed to be for christmas but i didn’t get it done until now sorry!!! i hope u like it @majorasfate​ and @doodleladle​

Three figures dressed in heroic tunics stand before a bridge made of rainbow, gripping their swords tightly.

“This is it,” one says. “It’s about to end.”

The second one nods. “We’ll finally save Princess Sanders. How long has it been since we last saw him?”

“Seven long years…” The last one remembers, nodding her head.

Navy turns and smirks at the two others. “You all owe me five rupees, by the way.”

“Why!?” The other two shout, frowning.

“I called that Clinton was the Princess in disguise! I told you all and you didn’t believe me!”

Dong- Rachel shrugs. “Fair enough,” while Lozy draws back.

“How the fuck were we supposed to figure that shit out? And also? Do I?? Look like?? I have that much money?? I am the brok-est ass motherfucker-,”

“Child, do not swear-,”

“Shut the Fuck up, Dong Mom-,”

Navy clears her throat. “You all owe me money anyways, so we should probably start saving him, right?”

The three of them cross the bridge, completely ignoring the large and heroic show that the Six Sages give them, making obscene and ridiculous jokes instead. They head inside the castle where they are met with six pathways.

“Why’s it always six?” Rachel asks, scratching her head. “Like, why not some other number? Like, three or seven or-,”

“Well?? Duh?? Six times two equals- Shit.”

“Twelve?? Lozy?? Twelve?? Where does twelve fit into this picture?? Child, just because you’re small and young doesn’t mean I can excuse this kind of intellectual ability.” Rachel interrupts, pulling a stupid ass face as she makes more jokes about how fucking tall I am.

“Children, calm. You’re all short.” Navy says, brushing her hair back and striking a pose. “Crush on me. I’m the tallest one here.”

“No?? Obviously, I’m the correct candidate to crush on because of my skills in the art of Drawing-,”

“Drawing’s not gonna save you in a fucking dungeon, bitch-,”

“OooOoOoh, says the writer, what, the pen mightier than the sword when you’re fighting octoroks?”

“Fuck Off?”

“Well, you know what does save you in a dungeon?” Navy smirks, again, because she’s just like that, “coming up with ideas. And y’all know what I’m good at.”

“Again?? Fuck Off?”

They head into the first room of the Forest Barrier and immediately light up in screams.

“What the Fuck-,”

“It’s just a Wolfos, Lozy, calm down-,”

“How fucking dare you, you ruined my tunic-,”

“Like it wasn’t already ruined in the first place?”

Navy kills it and laughs at the other two. “This is why I just got that over with in the first place? Just get your tunic ripped up in the first battle, man, that way you don’t have to worry about it later.”

“You’re wearing chain mail.”

“Well, gosh darn, looks like I got the lucky pile of the draw, huh?”

“Lucky draw of the pile.”

“Fuck.”

“Dumbass.”

“WHAT THE FUCK, SARIA-,”

“CHILL OUT, RACHEL, SHE’S FUCKING- FUCKING FLOATING AT A 45 DEGREE ANGLE, THAT’S PROBABLY NORMAL FOR SAGES-,”

Saria finishes her speech and watches as her childhood friends run off screaming, hoping that they can stay sane until they fight their final enemy.

The Fire Barrier’s rooms turn out to be a complete bust. They jump over and collect a few key rupees before realizing there is a massive obelisk standing in their way.

Navy tries to lift it up with her silver gauntlets, and truth be told, they probably could have lifted it out of the way if the other two had stopped laughing maniacally at her and helped out. But they didn’t. Rachel found a bag of Doritos on the floor and started eating them.

They leave the rooms to try the Water Barrier instead.

Two out of three of them are sobbing on the cold, snowy floor as Rachel angrily tries to figure out the ice block puzzle.

“I’ve?? Been dedicating all 21 years of my life to swords?? And being hot?? Who the fuck prepared me for ice block puzzles-,” Navy cries, shoving her hat into her face and openly bawling into it. “Nothing in life has prepared me for this. I’m not ready. I can’t believe this.”

Lozy is crying too, but she’s much less articulate. Her choice of wording is much too vulgar at this point. The word fuck is repeated multiple times.

Rachel pushes a final block. “I think I- fuck. I didn’t. Never mind.”

The two had gotten up for a split second, hope gleaming in their eyes, before they fell back down again, souls crushed.

“Why can’t we just pick them up.”

Ruto hangs on the ceiling and gives her speech as they continue talking about how stupid ice block puzzles are.

They’d eventually decided to leave a couple iron boots on each of the buttons after wasting all of their magic power to melt the ice blocks down with Din’s Fire.

Ruto lets a single tear slip down her face as she laments the fact that she crushed on Navy. It seems to be a recurring theme.

They’re in the rooms guarding the Shadow Barrier, and Lozy jumps over the little invisible islands as the other two hang back.

“I think I found something!” She calls, reaching into a treasure chest.

“Can you reach the bottom?” Rachel yells back.

“Fuck off!”

“What’d you find?” Navy shouts.

Maniacal laughter is heard in the background.

“FUCK YEAH! FINDERS KEEPERS, BITCH!”

Rachel turns to Navy. “What’d she find. Navy. What’d Lozy find.”

“I don’t know.”

There’s something golden and gleaming on Lozy’s fists as she reaches into the chest and chucks two other pairs of shining objects into the abyss.

“WhAT THE FUCK, LOZY-,”

Lozy jumps back over the little islands to the others, humming little songs.

“What the hell did you throw away!? We could’ve used those!”

Lozy smirks. “I know.”

“What the fuck?? What did you-, Oh.” The look on Rachel’s face pales and she looks at the Golden Gauntlets on Lozy’s hand.

“Mm… I dunno.” She runs off cackling to the barrier.

Impa seems to have given up already, because she didn’t even show up when the shot a Light Arrow at the barrier. It’s fine with them, though. They’d been arguing about who got to throw away the Dorito bag since they were almost finished with the chips.

They decided to head back into the Fire Barrier section since they had the Golden Gauntlets. Rachel threw the Dorito bag into the lava and watched it burn as Lozy chucked the pillar straight out of Trump's fortress, blasting a hole through the wall.

Navy grabbed the one or two remaining Rupee keys and let the other two head into the next room as she subtly slipped all the keys into her pocket. They looked just like silver rupees and made some pretty good counterfeits.

Darunia just sat and cried as he watched the people he considered sisters make their way out of the Fire Barrier’s rooms, screaming at each other and making way too much noise for it to be considered a serious event. 

The Spirit Barrier’s rooms ended up with them screaming a lot. None of them really liked the light puzzles because they were pretty boring, and they only had one Mirror Shield that Rachel kept. While she finished the puzzles, Lozy and Navy sat and played Uno. Invisible Keese were attacking Rachel but they didn’t notice. Lozy was winning and Navy couldn’t have that. Rolling boulders were chasing after Rachel and she was screaming but they didn’t notice. Now Navy was winning.

Nabooru looked somewhat proud as the three of them came into the room, one of them (Rachel) significantly more beaten up than the others. Rachel had joined in the card game by then. She broke the barrier after shooting off her little spiel that none of the heroes listened to, leaving the three of them to suffer and play Uno.

The Light Barrier was a complete joke and they barely gave a shit about it. They shot a Light Arrow at the Barrier and left before Rauru could even speak a word. A single tear slipped down his face.

“Y’know,” Navy pants as they force their way up another spiraling staircase, “I never thought that stairs would be my biggest threat.”

“How does Trump climb up these every day?” Rachel agrees.

“He probably doesn’t? That’s how?” Lozy’s voice is farther back; she tripped on the stairs earlier and the two went on without her.

“How does he get to his throne room, then?”

“He just… stays up there all day.”

“Isn’t that, like… really unhealthy? To sit in a throne all day?”

“Probably.”

Organ music has been playing loudly in the background for the last hour they’ve been climbing the stairs. Rachel wonders if that one singular piece is all the musician can play.

Reaching the top takes so long that they run out of complaints to groan about. They clear a few more levels of lizalfos and fire-y death traps before reach the door to Trump’s lair.

“We’re finally here.” Navy says. “We’ve traveled a long way-,”

“Shut the fuck up.” Rachel kicks in the door and walks in. Lozy follows.

“A… Alright. Got it.”

“PRINCESS SANDERS!?” Lozy shouts as she spots the old man in the Democratic blue crystal that Trump stuck him in. “ARE YOU OKAY!?”

He replies but the crystal muffles what he’s saying so no one seems to understand.

“What!?” Navy yells. “What’d you say!? You gotta talk louder!”

Princess Sanders shouts something back but they still can’t hear him.

“C’mon, Princess Sanders, you gotta speak up!”

“…college debt-,”

Lozy nods. “Yeah, he’s fine.”

They focus back to the task on hand but are distracted yet again. By their hands, ironically. There’re symbols on their hands in the shape of a triangle.

“Yo, haha, what the fuck?” Navy asks, staring at her hand. “I don’t remember this being here?”

“Same, though, what the-,”

“Dude, my parents are gonna kill me if they see that I have a tattoo-,”

There’s a click sound and Trump turns around, his cape whapping him in the face as he spins. “Will you three shut the fuck up?”

Rachel squints but then gasps. “You’ve been exposed, Trump-,”

Trump kicks a CD player into the shadows. “Was not.”

Rachel clenches her fists and whispers. “He’s been lying all along. He can’t even play the organ.”

Trump clears his throat. “The Triforce parts are-,”

“You serious?”

“Resonating. They are combining-,”

“Hey, guys, c’mon, music instruments are hard and he probably wanted to look cool. Cut him some slack.”

“…Into one agai-,”

“But like? If you’re gonna play dramatic music at least play it yourself-,”

Trump takes a deep breath. “Can you please let me finish my speech.”

“oh yeah lol ok”

Trump clears his throat again and restarts. “The Triforce parts are resonating… they are combining into one again…” He pauses theatrically.

“Th-,”

“Is that it? Is that your speech? I’m bored.” Navy groans, sitting down on the floor and picking at the fuzz on the carpet.

“No, it’s not it.”

The other two groan and join Navy on the red carpet, lying down. “Tell us when you’re done.”

Trump bites his lip. He looks on the edge of tears and his hair is drooping sadly. He finishes his speech quickly and with a slight wet sound in his voice. “The two Triforce parts that I could not capture on that day seven years ago, yadda yadda yadda, let’s fight.”

Two of them get up immediately, bouncing excitedly.

Trump thrusts his arms up dramatically and they’re expecting him to start flying but he boards a Segway instead and starts zipping around the room.

Lozy and Rachel unsheathe their swords and prepare for battle.

Trump lifts an arm up, preparing a bright yellow ball of magic on it, all while screaming.

“Be careful everybody!” Rachel shouts, holding up the Mirror Shield, “We don’t know what that thing does!”

“Wh-,” Navy jolts up from the nap she was taking on the floor and realizes that they are in the midst of battle. “WHY DIDN’T ANY OF YOU TELL ME-,”

Trump launches the magic straight at Navy and she panics, reaching into her pack and pulling out the first thing she can grab.

It smacks into the energy ball and ricochets back to Trump, hitting him hard in the face. He falls off his Segway and rolls around on the floor groaning as his Segway rolls away from him.  He is crying.

Navy gets up off the ground and unsheathes her sword to join the other two heroes.

“That was cool, Navy.” Lozy says. “How’d you do that?”

“Yeah, even I have to admit that you were kinda cool just there, Navy. Good job.”

Navy laughs and hides the bottle of milk back into her pack.

Trump is still crying on the floor so they take ample time to stroll over to him.

“Man, that was easier than I thought!” Navy says. “Look, he kinda looks like that tangerine you squashed once.”

“Oh, you mean when Rachel was riding Epona for the first time? You’re right! He does!”

The three laugh and Trump cries a little more.

They keep roasting Trump to oblivion and end up beating him the Fuck Up before Trump unsteadily rises. “The Great Magnificent Superb Amazing Huge Wonderful-,”

“Get to the point you fuckin’ roasted corn lookin’ ass shit. Tanning salon isn’t a good look for you.”

“…Donald Trump? Beaten by these kids!?”

Navy shrugs. “It’s more likely than you think. But if you switch to Geico insurance, you can-,”

He spits out green blood, all three of them recoil, and stares them straight in the eye with an oddly reptilian look. He screams and throws his arms up, turning into a light show. The building starts quaking and the three are knocked to their feet with the violent movements. The stained-glass windows they’re surrounded by burst into shards.

The next thing they know, they are standing on the top of the castle with Trump in front of them. He collapses to the ground, dead.

Princess Sanders gently floats down in his Democratic blue crystal before landing in front of the trio. The crystal fades from around him and he turns to look disdainfully at Trump.

“Pitiful man.” He spits. He turns to Trump and kicks him in the dick several times.

The building starts shaking again, the three are ready for it this time while the Princess is not, his feet are knocked under him and he falls onto the hard tile floor.

“Princess!” They shout in various degrees of concern. Lozy looks like she’s trying hard not to laugh.

“Listen to me,” he says in his croaking Brooklyn accent, “With his last breath, Trump is trying to crush us in the ruins of Trump Tower-,”

“Is that what he calls it?”

“Ew, gross-,”

“Bad name-,”

“We need to hurry and escape!” Bernie yells.

The three nod and turn to follow Bernie but he is still on the floor. He is not moving.

“Is he d- Wait, what’s that in the distance!?” Rachel shouts, pointing at a hazy cloud in the distance.

“I don’t-,”

Overwhelming chirping slams into their ears as the huge swarm of sparrows approaches. They pick up Bernie in their small talons and pick him up.

“Follow me!” He yells.

There are traps set for them in the castle on their way down, but apparently they weren’t expecting the hulking form of the Princess being carried by a cloud of tiny birds tweeting angrily. They didn’t pose much of a threat.

They escape in the nick of time, just before the Tower crashes down on all of them.

The four of them stand in the rubble of Trump Tower, grinning at each other.

“It’s over.” Bernie says, waving at the sparrows as they fly away. “It’s finally over…”

“Well, y’know,” Lozy interjects, “You never know when there’ll like, be a plot twist? Like, I dunno but this seems like a nice ass time for a plot twist-,”

“Oh shut up, Lozy, you’re jinxing it-,” Rachel shouts.

Something explodes in the rubble.

Navy steps in front of Princess Sanders, shielding him from the threat.

“I told you!! I fucking told you-,”

“If you hadn’t said anything, nothing would have happened-,”

They approach carefully, drawing their swords and creeping towards the sound. Rachel somersaults her way to the larger pieces of rubble.  

Trump bursts out of the wreckage violently, shining with light yet again. Flames burst out around them, preventing the trio from escaping.

The large orange man gradually transforms into a hulking, disgusting, misogynistic, albeist, racist, just overall horrible pig- oh wait, he already was-, into a larger version of himself before roaring at them. He throws out an arm and knocks the Master Sword out of Navy’s hand. It goes flying past the ring of flames and by Princess Sanders.

He roars again.

Rachel unsheathes her Biggoron sword as Navy curses while looking for a backup weapon.

“What’re we gonna do!?” Navy yells, pulling out the Fairy Bow. We need the Master Sword to kill Trump-,”

“You guys, uh, realize I have the Golden Gauntlets, right?” Lozy interjects. “And that I can literally pick this guy up and throw him into the abyss?”

The three of them stare at each other before Navy hums reproachfully. “Yeah, but like, I wanna beat him up a little more??”

“Same.” Rachel agrees.

“Okay, then we can do it like the Bowser battle in Mario 64. I’ll grab his tail and swing it around and you guys can go grab the Master Sword and we’ll be good. You still have the fire tunic thing, right?” Lozy says.

“Yeah. Sounds like a plan.”

Lozy walks over to Trump, dodging the carelessly thrown punches and slashes of the sword and grabs the glowing tail with the Gauntlets.

“I’m gonna spin! Be careful!”

“Alrighty.”

She spins around at high speeds and Trump ends up looking like a tornado made entirely of Orange Fanta. Rachel bends over laughing while occasionally shooting Light Arrows into his asshole. Navy crawls through the fire and the flames and takes back the Master Sword before returning to the others.

“I’m getting dizzy, Navy, hurry up.”

“Alright, alright, put him down. I’ll stab him and get this over with.” Navy says.

Lozy slows down and sets Trump down before leaning into the abyss and throwing up. Navy takes the sword and sticks it through the red-as-republican-Texas crystal on his forehead.

“Six Sages!” Princess Sanders screams as loud as he can. “NOW!”

He throws his arms up in the air before buckling down onto the floor. It seems that he’s too old and tired to do anything else.

There’s a brief cutsce- moment where the three are aware of all the sages doing their duty, and they watch as Trump gets sucked into the Sacred Realm to be banished forever.

When the three of them wake up, they are in the sky. Princess Sanders stands in front of them, his suit stained and torn.

“Give me the Ocarina, Lozy.” He whispers.

“Sure, haha.” Lozy laughs. “I don’t know how to play it anyways.”

“I will return you all to your time… to when you were supposed to be… to how you were supposed to be…”

The Princess plays his lullaby and the story ends.

merry christmas and also trump is president now and im crying

[apexart-journal]

Radha Gomaty in NYC Day 16

Washington

Schedule meant finding my way to the National Mall and looking for all kinds of monuments &memorials  that had been listed out to me to visit. As things stood  I was already quite late finding my way to my hotel , settling in and getting out again finding my way in the Washington  Metro .

What hit most in Washington are the interminable distances ,not quite friendly for a walker. It’s not even actually just the issue of distances but the fact that the scale is not human scale as in NYC.

You could ask me who am I kidding !

“NYC with its skyscrapers … human scale ,huh?we sure have heard that Love is blind ,baby …but this one hits a new high!”

No, Not that really .What i meant is this - down there on the road things are placed closer together .Even the skyscrapers that are all infinitely vertical than horizontal take up less space on the ground and are all  closely set together at a fair level of the eye.

Our (“Our ,eh?!this woman who is ‘inbound from South Eroor’ in all her hash tagged posts on the apexart journal on Tumblr says ‘our ‘ for NYC’s roads now? Wow!”) roads are narrower too ,and so yes,infinitely and comfortingly ,more crowded.

It is also a question of layout-No friendly corner pharmacies, No small eateries  spread out over the place but only in specialized pockets almost .One can  walk  blocks and blocks without catching sight of even one.

The overwhelming feeling was that one was staying in an overly manicured ,scaled up picture postcard park.

That feeling was certainly heightened on reaching the National Mall, a huge sprawling over sized lawn spread over several football fields.

I haven’t really worn shoes & socks since was in school a few decades ago and I always hated socks because my feet perspire.

Already  having tasted the pleasures of kicking off my shoes the previous evening with the feisty Elizabeth Larison, who was assigned to guide me on a walking tour over the old Brooklyn Foot Bridge that being really old was still actually paved with timber  , I decided to do an encore.

So peeling off and  rolling up my socks together in one  grey woolly smelly ball stuffed into the innards of my bag and my walking shoes , tied firmly by their laces hanging to either side from the handle of my grossly overstuffed shoulder tote that was already weighing me down enough, I set off .

Sole and Soul sang a sweet duet.

Ah bliss! to walk with soles bared on the cool lawns , the gritty gravel , the textured earth …

It was like going back to my nine month barefoot existence when i was 17 year old undergrad Design student in NID, Ahmedabad when I gave up the use of footwear  for  nine months for some abstruse reasons related to Gandhi ,Thoreau, altering the feel of being or some such thing and also to cut the sheer bother to have to take off my footwear each time I chose to walk the grass and not the foot walks!

So the walk turned some other way .It was no longer about dragging myself across  Memorials .

Memorials and the insight that physical Memory too is essentially a construct came with the passing of a much loved One.

The whole process of Memory has been a personal journey as well for me over the past some months and days.

Being an artist is also about inhabiting that State of Being that glows up in rare moments of incandescence that total self absorbed engagement  evokes .

Inhabiting such a Form of Being in itself is the first and most primal Form of Art .It is infinitely easier for a creative spirit to understand that History, and every other story for that matter even our own autobiographical ones, is just  one thread amongst a hundred odd possible others by which these glowing beads are sought to be strung together ,’made sense of ‘. We have this inner compulsion to arrange and order things into Time and duration .We are conditioned to  simply not be content with the moments in themselves .We cannot leave these moments be in their singular ,pristine ,self born glory and have to compulsively tinker with their glorious This -ness …

The  notion of Time was invented in this itch -like tinkering .

Is it not the notion of Time that births the illusion of Gap  between a thought and its fruition,an action and its reaction?The inventor of Postponement?I n fact ,isn’t Time the Serpent in the Garden of Now that invented Desire because in the very notion of Desire is inbuilt the notion of Postponement?

NOW is raw .

It wears no clothes and in the upsurge of its sheer incandescence it scalds all masks &clothes away.

That is why in the aftermath of the serpent’s visit ,Adam & Eve.teh notion of clothes entered the picture alongside the notion of shame &guilt & fear & sin.

But in the aftermath of the serpent’s visit, the notion Labor too was born and brows that knew not what sweat was or hands the need for the intermediary of a tool became callused and worn because Hunger was born too as a postponement between the need for Nourishment and its fulfillment .In  the cool white intensity of Satya yuga(or the Eon of Truth ,the first of the four described in Indian scriptures  Light can assume a life form with just the meeting of the intensities of intentions  bypassing the messier commingling of physical bodies.

But in the aftermath of the serpent’s visit,instead of the bliss of a play like fluidity of boundaries that can shift and change at will,Sex, now reduced to a specific  act between two kinds of bodies designed for the purpose    entered the scene .Birth  now entailed the processuality of a prolonged Pregnancy & Labor…    

As the Buddha observed succinctly-Things compounded tend to fall apart  . So it is with History  as well which is a composing  or threading by the string of a chosen strand of whatever narrative that serves best the pre defined purpose at hand ,the many moments of a collective existence together .In administrative interest it is important to keep certain narratives stronger  and more compelling than others are .

This can be created  through frequent repetition one over the other like the devices of chorus in music or alliteration in poetry  .Overlaying it with sentiment and other sensory cues  that can be triggered then easily by the slightest suggestion later by which the needle correctly falls in ,running through and playing out what has been already  etched in through repetition through the grooves  as Habit.

Of course some moments are always there , the sort that poets swoop on with the alacrity of falcons ,that do not quite jell with the chosen ��main narrative .These are easily dealt with the oft used devices of omission usually by   ignoring and  passing over in silence .If that doesn’t work ,then by  invoking processes of demonization that lead to the convenience of a Graveyard  like silence once Taboo  buries it under one of its its leaden headstones.  

Some moments of the inaasimilable-as-they-are may lend themselves to some  photoshopping (tweaking).Which also works to build the edifice of Memory& Memorials …

Oh Well.

Whatever .

Perhaps that is why whenever i encounter a proliferation of memorials in one place a pinch of salt immediately finds its place between my thumb and forefinger .Well and truly ,I dont know how it gets there .But that pinch of salt  is what carries me safely through all the machines of history making without getting unduly caught in any of its busily grinding teeth.

The Washington Obelisk Tower has great light effects with the sun breaking out through the gathering clouds. A man from the Philippines and I helped each other snap the customary  “I have arrived.Look at me!” portrait-before-famous-monument scrapbook memory shots.

I am supposed to cover an impossibly high number of memorials in this one evening walk -the Vietnam memorial ,the t World war 2 Memorial,the Martin Luther King Memorial, The Lincoln Memorial  and if possible ,also the Thomas Jefferson Memorial across the River.On the way I notice plenty of museums as well  .Two suddenly draw me to them with that light visceral tug that always is a right indication that there is something in there for me . They were  the Museums of Asian Art in America and The  Museum of African Art.

No time to enter and it is almost closing time anyway .

I’ve a schedule to cover,you see!

(the schedule  !the schedule! oh… the schedule!)

It is already getting late into the evening.

I hear strains of music far away and somehow feel that following it will lead me to Martin Luther King’s memorial and decide to follow the sensations in my feet and in my ears.

On the way I see a sunken plaza of fountains,cascading streams with a pool in the centre and scores of people taking pictures around them .This is the World War Two memorial.

I walk through it skirting the crowds and continue my engagement with bare feet upon earth till I at last see the source of the music far away in what looks like a rather severe Greco-Roman looking structure.

A revelry is on on there in complete contrast with the mood of the building itself . I go closer and see the band playing .Playing is not the word .They  are rocking ,belting out lively Latin American Music  to which all kinds of human bodies-youngsters,hipsters, teenagers,school kids,senior citizens , folks in their middle years, all kinds of couples from various nationalities and sexual orientations are flowing together in  a River of revelry.

Ol’ man Lincoln meanwhile looks on with his rather saturnine expression  from atop his stone throne set high on the many tiered stone steps at the saturnalia there in uninhibited progress.

I choose not to climb up the steps and read speeches but weave my way through the infinitely more interesting human throng.

I have been walking nonstop so long I think it is wisdom to calculate the distance that I have to walk back now and  turn to retrace my steps .

Half way through as i walk the cold breeze gathers strength  ,the darkness deepens .Walking endlessly i find myself in line again with the Washington obelisk where I began my barefoot sojourn and the gathering rainclouds begin to pour  .

A true New Yorker & and a true  Keralite have one thing in common  -a handy all season umbrella in the bag at all times to brandish against all inhospitable weather.

It looks like I am the only one on National Mall with an umbrella.

Well,I looked around and I realize ,with or without umbrella .I am perhaps  the only one left in the National  Mall!

I sing out loud in the rain splashing little puddles as I walk…Bob Marley,Louis armstrong ,the songs of Ella what have you in my best possible jazz imitation voice.

The Red brick  Cathedral  that I had passed earlier rises to view on my right .For a moment I have this urge to enter and kneel in silent prayer in one of the old wooden pews in the high domed interior I imagine hung over with paintings&chandeliers  .

Its entrance  up  a flight of stairs was however cloaked with ink dark shadow. I put out only one tentative indecisive foot to the right in a step when something  stirs in the dark and calls out in a low male voice .A glint of eyes: “Hello Ma’am…”

i immediately changed plans, withdraw that outstretched foot as gracefully and unobtrusively as I can (What if it was just a homeless man calling out for hope of some financial assistance that i am anyway unable to give now?why hurt his feelings?) and maintain my brisk pace.

There is not one person to whom I could ask directions to the closest  metro station whose terrible signage is legion in Washington.

Amazing!

Not a soul on  the road after just about 7.30 pm?!

Ugh! What a stick-inthe-mud respectable town , i say!

Give me my crazy swingin’ old NYC any day !

I finally spot a man and a woman from afar.

But as I approach to ask there is a sudden scene change. She on second thoughts turns to gaze into his eyes  and soon in that deserted bus shelter,they are locked in a long lingering gentle kiss in a little pool of light  with the rest of the roads  looking like a neutron bomb had fallen on it exterminating all signs of Life.

Except me ,who stood there turned into the all-seeing -eye -of -God looking upon a wonderful moment when time stood still for two people.

Directions to the Metro station be damned! I walk on feeling very pleased .Overall ,in this country I love the fact that people express their intimacies without reserve-I recall my  moments of Subway joy in NYC- an old couple twining and untwining palms with slowly caressing fingers at the metro station as they stand talking about perfectly ordinary things, A couple basking in the park calmly leaning on one another in the sun -she is dozing lightly with an open book across her belly and  he is texting with one finger supporting her weight upon his chest.Two youngsters in love lingering over a kiss to say goodbye as they prepare to catch trains in opposite directions for the night.Two men , both in skirts sitting in each other’s laps chatting happily oblivious to the world.

It’s nice.

How uptight are we back home!How merciless are we in our censorship while hunger & desire claw our innards to the point of near manic violence that we do our best to keep declawed,defanged or at least chained and hidden in a cage in the cellar ,dark and redolent with droppings.

Meanwhile a Japanese man in a suit looking almost as lost as me zero in into one another asking directions and we decide to team up in a spot-the-metro station contest .

Though we fail first attempt , the distance covered becomes time for mutual self introduction .At last we find ourselves before a drab grey building and spotting a man in uniform decide to ask him where the Metro is .He pointed into the building with an equally grey drab  expression.That  anonymous hulk of a building   happened to be just it!

Back home it would have immediately drawn out an indignant interjection -“ithenthaa!valla vellarikka pattanamo?!”

(Lit.Transln: “is this some kind of cucumber town or what?!”

Meaning  :”is this some sort of ridiculous village or small town growing cucumbers?

(The  smallness of the town is measured metaphorically in terms of a settlement that raises low value produce like cucumbers!!!)

Really ! is Washington an overgrown village where everyone is just supposed to know where things are ?(Actually ,that’s all I meant to say ,folks!)

My gentlemanly escort, though going opposite way ,graciously waits till I get the gate opening-with metro card -ritual straight and waves with that slight inflection of his spine that his culture has unmistakably ingrained in him as he moves on.

This is  just like I do instinctively  the first touch-on -forehead-and-then-the centre-of-chest routine  every time my feet unintentionally touches someone on a train .It is an ‘I respect your sanctity’ gesture that we pick up as children because where we grew up  to place one’s feet on anyone  is construed a disrespectful act.

(In fact even crossing over any living being is seen as a no-no because the physical body also includes the invisible aura of energy around it that should not be desecrated by the touch of feet!)

I get off finally at Farragut North station with disrupted Late running  trains due to repair work & dysfunctional elevators of which I counted at least  five in my two and half days stay there .

That certainly made me feel very good indeed about our stuff back home. If this is the scene  in Washington, the power capital of the world,you are excused ,little Kochi !

I am starving after ,I suppose, my ten kilometer circuit walk today .

Finally losing my way to the hotel ,I   stumble into small shop where a man of Caribbean descent sells baked stuff he makes himself  starting with what we call savory puffs back home for about 5 dollars each .

When i call the lobby a fourth time to please send someone to to teach me how to use the coffee maker , a slightly tired looking but attractive african origin woman walk in. Alice Walker ,66 ,is a generous soul who warms up to me and begins to chatting even fetching me extra satchets  of coffee .We chat on about her decision to quit the US and go back to Sierre Leone where her husband waits for her leaving behind her three married daughters in Washington  because “… no-one knows how to live or eat properly here and my knees are killing me with all this standing on the job and boy! dont I need some rest now! ”

I do too …

A large watery cup of coffee later , I chat with a friend and in one on the two large looking beds in a room far too big for one small lone me.

I fall into a deep untroubled sleep.