#also. yes. the cat he’s holding is stu LOL

[razziematazz]

the worst qualities of a cat vs the best cat in the world

[suicidalslasher]

𝑛𝑖𝑔𝘩𝑡 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑠 ➤  𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑙. & 𝑠𝑡𝑢 𝑚.

In which the reader comes home, completely broken-hearted and her two friends, Stu Macher and Billy Loomis, come in to put a smile on her face and show her how much they love her.

WARNINGS:  This is a smut but not well written, lol. It’s mainly just oral, both receiving and giving. (male and female.)  Also, if you squeeze your eyes really tight, you may get a glimpse of slight foreshadowing in which Billy and Stu killed the guy that broke the reader’s heart but blink and you might miss it. Anyways. Enjoy.  

(Y/N) lied upon a soft feather mattress, cocooning herself in the silk sheets. A sad sigh surpassing her lips as the realization settles in, hitting her like a ton of bricks, like a cold bucket of water was thrown on her. She's alone. The room feels empty. Wait, no, scratch that. 

It is empty.  It's dark and cold and lonesome. As many blankets that surround her and although she has many draped around her body, her skin still somehow prickles with goosebumps and she's shivering.  

Though, she knows it's not because she's cold. She isn't shaking because of that. Not really. Before she could stop herself, her eyes start to glisten with tears, the corner of her eyes pooling with water and slowly but surely, they slide down her skin, wetting her cheeks. Goddammit. God fucking dammit, she thinks, reaching over and grabbing the duvet comforter,  she slides it over her head. Broken, silent sobs then proceed to escape past her lips, although she oh so desperately tries to hold them back. She fails miserably.  Then, out of nowhere, she hears a little knock, followed by another.   Rolling over to lay on her stomach, (Y/N) buries her face into the nearest pillow, causing mascara tears to soak and stain the cushion as she continues to cry and sob. Before she realizes it or even can acknowledge it, the window to her bedroom is being pulled up and her friends, Billy Loomis and Stu Macher, step inside her bedroom.   "(Y/N)?" (Y/N) is quick to flip around upon hearing her name, her heart hammering wildly against her chest. 

 "S-Stu? Billy? What the Hell are you guys doing here?"  She relaxes, having  seen her friends standing by her bedroom window rather than the man everybody was fearing lately in Woodsboro.  

A masked man with a dark cloak and a spine-chilling voice. She was lucky she hadn't heard what he sounded like, she had enough nightmares as is. It was hard to say whether or not it was a man behind the mask but regardless, whatever sex the person was, they were crazy, inside and out. End of story. (Y/N) makes a mental note, reminding herself to lock her window next time and to keep track of that before she gets comfortable and goes to bed. Especially with what was happening everywhere in Woodsboro. "We wanted to make sure you were okay."  Billy said, walking over to the girl as he sat down next to her,  the mattress sinking beneath his weight. Stu followed, nodding happily as he shows a few VHS tapes, gesturing them over to (Y/N).

 "We brought movies to watch and snacks, too!" He exclaimed as he then pulled out a small plastic bag, dumping out the items onto her bed. 

There was chips and candy and they were all her favorite flavors and brands, too. (Y/N) felt the tears pooling in the corner of her eyes again at the sweet gesture her friends were sharing with her. "Oh... c'mon, don't be such  a cry baby." Stu snickered but he wrapped his arms around (Y/N) and pulled her into a side hug, Billy following right behind, hugging her from her right. 

 "We love you, we've got your back, always, okay?" "What Stu said. Besides, this world doesn’t deserve an angel like you, (Y/N).” "Mhm." Stu nodded.   "I really liked him, that's all..... I should've known it was a set up to get back with his ex." (Y/N) said with a sniffle, running a hand over her face as she tries to rid herself of any left over makeup, especially getting rid of the mascara, although, if she were positive, that and her eyeliner were most likely now resting on the pillow she had cried into rather than on her face. "Well, he's a fucking idiot." Billy growled.   "He doesn't see how perfect you are, (Y/N)." "Billy and I see that, though." Stu said, taking his hand off from her shoulder as he now rests his hand on her thigh, giving her a reassuring squeeze. It made (Y/N)'s breath hitch in her throat and she bites on her lower lip, nervously. 

What were they doing....? She thinks. “We would do anything for you. Absolutely anything.”  Billy said. "We'd do anything just to see you happy, just to see you smile..." Stu continued. "You deserve nothing but the best, deserve nothing but happiness." "So, please... (Y/N)... let us give you that. Let us show you how beautiful and loved you really are. We love you.... we love you so much-" "We love you so much we'd kill for you." Billy looks over at Stu, giving him a questioning glare and (Y/N) goes to ask what that stare meant but her words are loss and any train of thought she had left the building once she feels both hands of Billy and Stu's on her thighs.

 One on her left, the other on her right. "So.... no movies then?" (Y/N) asked jokingly. Her heart, like earlier, was pounding so loud she swore both boys could hear it against her chest. Her body was trembling as it had done earlier but now, it wasn't from sadness or feeling broken but rather hot and bothered. 

She did always have an attraction to Billy and Stu, she'd be a liar to say she didn't. "We can watch them later. Right now, we want to see those legs of yours sprawled out, give us a view of that pretty pussy." (Y/N) whined softly but she obeyed, and while she did, Billy grunted while Stu spoke softly, "Such a good girl for us. You're our good girl, aren't you, sweetheart?" (Y/N) nodded as she stretched her legs on either side of her. All she was wearing was a thin gown, one that matched her sheets, being the fact both were silk.  

 "Oh.... so pretty, so beautiful." Stu purred, licking his lips, his eyes growing darker while Billy's did the same. "Naughty though.... aren't you, baby? Not wearing any panties." Billy chuckled as he stood up, feet landing on the carpeted floor with a soft thud as he walks over to (Y/N), undoing his jeans and the belt that had been neatly placed in the hoops of the pants.  

"Is it okay if you suck me off, darling? You want to be a good girl, don't you?" (Y/N) says nothing, she's unable to speak. It was as if a cat had captured her tongue and ran off with it, and she couldn't get it back from the creature. She feels paralyzed, too. Everything feels as if it's going by too fast.

 What an odd day.... she thinks. She didn't expect this to happen, not now, not ever. But she wasn't angry at it or the outcome of tonight's misfortune. It was just crazy how fast the night changes. "Baby? I asked you a question... If you know what’s good for you, you better answer me.”   "Y-yes." (Y/N) stammered, feeling heat rise to her cheeks.  "I'd love to suck you off, please, may I?" "Oh!" Stu chirped, giggling as he shook his head from side to side, a wicked grin playing out across his lips. "She's got manners, fuck - we really found the perfect girl, haven't we, Billy?" "Mhm." Billy said, pressing his cock to her lips. "Open up, sweetie. Let's see how pretty you look with a mouth full of cock." While (Y/N) parts her lips open, and as Billy pushes himself in her wet and warm mouth, (Y/N) feels heat against her clit and before she can put two and two together, Stu's devouring her pussy with his tongue and she squeaks, bucking her hips up into his touch.   "Fuck! She tastes incredible. Can't believe I haven't gotten to you sooner." Stu said before pressing his face back in between her thighs, licking and lapping her cunt with his tongue, making her tremble and shake. 

(Also makes her almost choke and gag on Billy's cock as he presses his cock further down her throat.) Above, Billy nodded as he rocked his hips back and forth, eyes half-lidded, not quite shut but not all the way open either, as he grunts out an answer; "She's good with her mouth too, Stu." He said.  

"Not sure I can last long, sweetheart..." He warned and right as the words slip from his lips,  it didn't take less than a second until (Y/N)'s mouth is being filled with Billy's creamy, white load.

 "Oh.... fuck!"  He grunts, pulling back  as he drops down next to her on the bed.

 "Go on, baby. Cum for Stu. You wanna be good for him too, don't you? Go on and cum.... cum all over his tongue, beautiful. I'm sure he'll love the taste of your juices, exploding into his mouth." And fuckfuckfuck.....

FUCK~!!

"O-Oh!"  (Y/N) mewls, bucking her hips into his mouth once more as the sweet release of her orgasm floods out of her and into Stu's mouth. Happily, Stu licks every drop up, pulling back with a very much pleased and satisficed smile.  

 "Both her and her pussy are so sweet." Stu complimented, now crawling up onto the bed and resting beside her, tucking his face into her neck as he presses a few  ghostly kisses on her skin. "Love you."

"I love you, too."

"And what about me?" Billy said with a playful pout.

"I love you too, Billy Loomis." (Y/N) admitted, grinning as she scooted a few inches over, patting the empty spot next to her. "Sleep with us?"  

Billy smiled in reply as he plopped down next to his now lovers, curling up in (Y/N)'s side and kissing the other side of her neck, the way Stu had done previously.  

 "I'll treat you to a good time too,  tomorrow," (Y/N whispered, mainly to Stu but she turned and repeated the sentence to Billy as well. The boys look at each other with a smirk, giving one a knowingly glance before they turned back to (Y/N). 

"Sounds like a plan, baby." The smile she wore across her lips falls into a frown and the boys are quick to sit up, having seen the smile turn upside down. "Baby, are you okay?" "Yeah." "Babe....don't you lie to us." "I'm not." She answers truthfully. "But.... this- I mean, us three, it's real, right?" She gestures in the air with a wave of her hand.  "You won't play with my feelings and hurt me-" "Baby." Billy's voice is rough and cold,  and his grip on her is far from affectionate and soft. "We'd kill for you, remember?" "We love you so much, (Y/N) you have no idea to what limits we'd go to prove that to you.” She didn't understand why the two kept repeating that very first sentence but she didn't question it, didn't think anything of it. She smiled and nodded, rubbing at her eyes now tiredly.

 "I love you both, too. Now... before I get too tired, can we watch those movies you rented?" Billy laughed softly as Stu scrambled up and on his feet, grabbing the candy and the films that had fallen on the bed off of the floor and goes to set the VHS player up, clicking the TV on with a push of a button. 

"You're gonna love these, (Y/N)! It's a new horror movie that came out!" "As long as it's not a slasher with a mask like the one that's hanging around in Woodsboro, I'm fine with anything. Whenever that monster goes away, I'll be fine and more than happy to watch slasher films again... just not now." She says with a laugh. "Don't worry, baby. With us around, you’ll be safe and sound. We’ll protect you.” 

“Promise?”

“Promise.” 

[spooky-scary-imagines]

heyo! could you write something for michael / billy / stu / and any other slasher you think would be good - about their s/o who has a really bad stutter (and who possibly might be bullied or something of the nature) your work is really good and ahh!! i needed to see a stuttering mess in a work to make me happy about my own stutter

((Totally! I hope these lil drabbles help cheer you up some! And remember, never feel bad about your voice. It’s not the way you talk that matters, it’s the words and the feelings behind them. I’d write for all of them if I could but I decided to add Bubba, Norman, and Chop-Top for this one cause two of them have a stutter (though Chop-Top’s ain’t as strong and Norman’s is more due to anxiety and therefore written different) and the other is just always v good. They’re also some of my favorites so I’ll always love writing them lol. Btw I tried my best to write a stutter accurately but, like always, I want to make sure I didn’t write anything offensive or inaccurate so let me know if there’s anything along those lines. Also, this is long af so I added a read-more.

Various slashers s/o with a stutter:

Michael:

“M-M-Michael d-d-don’t do this,” you pleaded. He stared at you emotionless, as he plunged the knife back in.

“P-P-please! You-You pr-promised!” He ignored you and pulled the knife in and out of the now-mutilated flesh.

”Y-Y-You sa-said you would w-w-wait! It’s n-n-n-not e-even  H-Halloween!” He reached in and pulled out a mass of slimy guts and pulp, then gestured to you to take it. You held out your hand and took his offering, mildly disgusted.

You went to a kitchen drawer and pulled out a gallon Ziploc bag, dumping the handful inside. “H-Here. We-we’ll j-j-j-just save s-some and I’ll m-make something w-w-w-with it l-later.” Michael set the knife off to the side and lifted up his current “project” as if presenting it for your approval. You rolled your eyes, but smiled anyway.

“Yes, i-it’s a b-b-b-b-beautiful J-Jack O’Lantern, M-Michael. B-B-But it’s gon-gonna r-rot if we p-p-put it out n-now!” But even as you say it you know you might as well break out the tea candles.

Billy:

Once the bell rang, you nearly ran out of the classroom to your locker. You glowered as you replaced the books from your previous class with the ones for your next. You slammed the door shut to see your boyfriend standing behind it, a wicked, yet charming smirk on his face.

“Boo.” You just rolled your eyes.

“N-Not in the m-m-mood.”

His brow furrowed at that, usually you were more happy to see him. “What’s up babe?” his eyes looked around defensively at your fellow classmates wandering the halls, “Some punks giving you shit again?”

“N-No…” you sighed, “The t-teacher c-c-c-called on me in c-c-class today to r-r-read. Asshole kn-knows I d-d-don’t w-wanna t-talk in front of ev-everyone.”

Billy scowled at that, “What a fucking prick. Want me to teach him something?”

You hesitated for a moment, he was a jerk, but no. “D-D-Don’t w-worry ab-b-bout it B-Billy…He’s-he’s j-j-just doing hi-his job…”

“Hey,” Billy gripped you reassuringly by the shoulders, getting you to look him in the eyes, “Never let nothings like that make you think less of yourself baby. You’re amazing just the way you are.”

You almost felt yourself well up at his thoughtful words. Sometimes he shocked you with how sweet he could be. You nodded, and leaned into hug him.

He returned the embrace, and you felt him lean down to whisper into your ear, “You wanna just ditch and watch movies at my place?” A very tempting offer you may just take him up on.

Stu:

“H-H-Hello? Wh-Who’s this?”

“Do you like scary movies?”

“Ha Ha, very f-f-funny. Wh-Who’s th-th-th-this? F-for real.”

“I’m the scary killer outside your window…”

“Oh s-s-sure. I b-bet,” sarcasm and annoyance dripping from your words, “Quit b-being a creep R-R-Randy.”

“It’s not Randy. That your boyfriend?”

At that comment, you started to get an idea of who your mysterious caller was, but decided to play along. “N-Nah, b-b-but I d-do h-have one.”

“Oh yeah,” the voice giggled, “And what’s he like? Bet he wouldn’t like you talkin’ to lil ole me.”

“P-p-probably n-not, b-b-but he’s not h-here. And you h-h-haven’t h-hung up.”

There was a pause on the other end, then a huff. “You never answered my first question.”

“Oh? Th-that th-thing ab-b-bout s-scary movies? Yeah, I l-l-like ‘em”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

You hesitate for a second, while it would be fun to keep this going, you feel like upping the ante a bit. “I d-d-don’t know. H-How ab-b-bout you c-come up h-here and w-w-watch o-one w-with me?”

“What about your boyfriend?”

“C-C-Come on M-Mister K-K-Killer, h-he c-can join. I th-th-think you kn-know w-where t-to find h-him.”

You heard a shuffling on the other end and then the call abruptly ended. You sat in silence for a moment, curious about what would happen next. A familiar rapping sound came from outside your window. You pulled back the curtain, revealing your boyfriend standing there with his signature goofy grin plastered across his face. Through the glass you hear the voice you’d missed, “Wanna let me in?”

Bubba:

The Sawyer home was unusually quiet right now. With Drayton out at the gas station and his other brother doing god-knows-what, just you Bubba and Grandpa were left at the house. With Bubba working downstairs, you had been left to your own devices. Though you didn’t mind some alone time, it was odd that you hadn’t really seem hide-nor-hair of your beau lately. Though that seemed like it would be changing pretty soon, as you heard the large metal door to the kitchen slam. You turned to see Bubba coming towards you, happily clutching something in his hands.

“W-W-What’ve you g-got there B-Bubba?” He excitedly shoved the object, which you know could tell was a book, into your hands. “Where the Sidewalk Ends” the cover read, with a drawing of two children looking over what looked like the edge of a cliff. You flipped through it, and it appeared to be a collection of poems cute illustrations to go with them. You turned back at your love, who was watching you eagerly, seemingly trying to figure out your reaction.

“It s-seems like a v-very n-nice b-b-book H-Honey. Th-th-thank you.”  His brow seemed to furrow underneath his mask and he poked the book more insistently. You cocked your head in confusion, “I’m af-f-fraid I d-don’t get w-what your s-s-saying.” He opened the book and a warbling hum came from him as he pointed from the words to you.

“You w-w-want m-me to r-r-read it? Out l-loud?” He squealed happily and nodded. “ Are y-you s-s-sure? B-B-But W-what ab-bout th-the way I t-talk?” He nodded again and pulled you into his lap on the couch. He hugged you tightly around the waist, resting his head on your shoulder as he looked down at the book. You laughed softly about his enthusiasm, “Alr-right…I-Invitation…If y-you are a dreamer c-c-come in. If y-you are a dreamer, a w-wisher, a liar. C-Come in….

Chop-Top:

The whole Sawyer house was very much relieved today. It had been awhile since anyone had driven by and food was running kinda low, making everyone a bit on edge and touchy. Luckily, a whole van of people stopped by last night and were quickly dispatched, meaning everyone would get to eat. Your boyfriend’s brothers were currently preparing and cooking the meat, while your boyfriend looted and organized the belongings of the now-cattle.

“Y/N! C-Come in here and take a look at this!” your boyfriend hollered from the other side of the house. This was somewhat ominous as you never could tell what he was going to show you when he got excited like this. His tone of voice when showing you a neat bug was the same when he was propping up and goofing off with a corpse. You walked in and he was standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by a mess of objects scattered around him. On him was the ugliest shirt you had ever seen. It looked like bowling alley carpet had a love child with a kid’s drawing of what a Hawaiian shirt was supposed to look like. It physically hurt your eyes a bit to look at it. “Check out th-these digs babe!” he crowed.

“W-Wow…th-that s-sure is…c-c-copacetic.”

“I know r-right!” He turned back to admire himself in the dirty wall mirror, “T-Totally far-r out!

You hid a grin behind your hand, “You’re one sh-shagad-d-delic c-cat.”

He whipped back around to face you, beaming ear to ear, “Awww sh-shucks,” he wadded his way through the mess over to you, throwing his boney arms around you waist. “You’re pretty b-bitchin’ your-yourself,” he crooned, pressing a sloppy and slightly gross kiss on your cheek. Maybe you could get used to the shirt…

Norman Bates:

There was a record playing in the main lobby of the motel when your returned from tidying one of the cabins. As you stepped in farther, you could make out your sweetheart’s voice singing along softly. Curiosity drew you closer and you watched from the doorway as he folded laundry. His voice was as sweet and smooth as honey and the melody seemed to drip into you, wrapping around and warming your heart.

“It takes a lot of sunshine…To make a s-summer day…But just a little love…Can go a long, long way…”

You wolf-whistled, and he whipped around to face you, dropping the shirt he was holding. “Oh dear, I, um, well, you, w-weren’t supposed, to, er, see t-that.”

You moved towards him, picking up the shirt from the floor and returning it to him. “Y-You s-s-sing b-beautifully you kn-know.”

His eyes flicked back to meet your’s, “R-Really, I, well, I just never, s-sing in front of anyone…”

You smiled, looking up at him with faux innocence, “H-How does th-this one g-g-go again? So i-i-i-incid-dentally…”

He gulped, “Um, Treat love g-gently…”

“W-When it c-c-comes in view…”

“It-It could even, even happen to…”

You both joined in for the last line, “S-someone l-l-like you…”

As the song played on in the background you realized how close the two of you had gotten. You both blushed and turned away slightly, but neither of you could hide the blush or grins painted across your faces.

[long-liv-prairies]

Interview with James

1. Pick an original character!

2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were being interviewed for an article and you were the character/muse

3. Tag people to do the same: I already put tags on my other post, so I’ll skip this one.

Tagged by @theblackdomino and @ladydracarysao3 (who was very curious to hear from James, lol. This probably isn’t as fun as you want. James is pretty serious when it comes to stuff like this).

James enters the room and briskly walks toward the interviewer, extending his hand to give a long handshake, releasing his hold with a nod before taking his seat. “So. What do you want to know?” he asks, crossing his arms.

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

James Westerkamp.

2. NO SERIOUSLY WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME

That... is my real name. My middle name is Hendrik, if you really want to know.

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE CALLED THAT?

He shrugs. My parents liked the name. My middle name is my grandfather’s.

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?

He frowns and bounces a leg. Single right now.

5. DO YOU HAVE ANY ABILITIES OR POWERS?

I’m really strong. That’s about it. Though I also... heal pretty quick.

6. STOP BEING A GARY STU.

I have no idea what that means.

7. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR?

Blue, with a little bit of green in the center.

8. HOW ABOUT YOUR HAIR COLOR?

Why would you need to ask... whatever. It’s dark brown, obviously.

9. HAVE YOU ANY FAMILY MEMBERS?

He frowns and bounces his leg more rapidly. I have my sister Naomi. The rest are gone.

10. I SEE… WHAT ABOUT PETS?

Not here. We used to have cats... He grins. I’d like another one someday.

11. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE.

He frowns and shakes his head. I really don’t like the Fade. Like... just keep me as far away from that place as possible.

12.  DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES YOU LIKE DOING?

I don’t really have time for hobbies. I’m either training or travelling. I like going to the tavern and drinking though. He rubs at the back of his neck. Maybe I enjoy going a bit too much sometimes... but there isn’t much else to do here, is there?

13. EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE?

He shifts uncomfortably. Yes. I do a lot of fighting.

14. EVER…KILLED ANYONE BEFORE?

Well... yes. I said I do a lot of fighting. He shifts some more. I try not to dwell on it. We’re at war. It needs to be done.

15. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?

What kind of question is that? I have no idea.

16. NAME ONE OF YOUR WORST HABITS.

He frowns and stares at the table for a moment before answering. Like I said... I probably drink too much sometimes.

17. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE AT ALL?

Only Bull. He chuckles. But seriously... I look up to Naomi. She... is so optimistic. It’s... good for me to remember sometimes that not everything is terrible.

18. SEXUAL ORIENTATION?

He frowns and more firmly crosses his arms. I like women.

19. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?

He grins. Not anymore, thank God.

20. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS ONE DAY?

His leg bounces rapidly. Yeah, I do... I was even engaged once. But I don’t know if that will ever happen again... I kind of doubt it.

21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?

I’m... not really afraid of anything. I didn’t like going into the Fade at Adamant though.

22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR?

Armor. But around Skyhold I’ll just wear tunics and breeches.

23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE?

He glares across the table before averting his eyes toward a wall. My sister.

24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? (HIGH/MIDDLE/LOW)

I was middle class before... all of this happened. He gestures vaguely around the room. I don’t really know what I am now.

25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?

Only a few. Nassella. Bull. Varric... I used to say Blackwall and then he ended up being a murderer, so... I guess three.

26. THOUGHTS ON PIE?

He shrugs. It’s all right. I haven’t had it in a long time.

27. FAVORITE DRINK?

He grins. I’ve mentioned I like drinking, right? I didn’t like ale at first, but it’s grown on me a lot.

28. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE?

Home.

29. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN?

He narrows his eyes, contemplating, and bounces his leg. The ocean. I like the big waves.

30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN ANYONE?

He glances once more toward the wall. That’s none of your business.

31. WHAT’S YOUR D.CK SIZE?

His head snaps toward the interviewer and leans forward. That’s none of your fucking business. Why the fuck would you ask that? He shakes his head and sits back again. Jesus Christ...

32. WELL, WHAT’S YOUR TYPE?

I don’t know... I guess I’ve been with mostly shorter women. Though... most women are shorter than me. Again... why are you asking these questions?

AND WHAT ATTRACTS YOU?

God, again? He shifts in his seat and sighs. Fine. I like... women who are intelligent and strong and kind. And... and brave and quick and beautiful and fun... He clears his throat and sits straighter. Next question.

33. ANY FETISHES?

Again with these fucking questions... No. And can we like... stop with those?

34. SEME OR UKE? TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?

Jesus Christ! He makes to stand, but catches himself and sits back down. I’m not answering that, ok? Jesus... did you ask Naomi that? He shakes his head. Fucking weird...

35. CAMPING INDOORS OR OUTDOORS?

Finally, something normal. My family would camp a lot...but I never liked it that much. So I guess indoors.

36. ARE YOU WANTING THE QUIZ TO END?

He stands. Yeah, I’m done. I didn’t agree to a... sex interview.