#also. the people who hate her this much also bullied an author off of all fucking social media in large part bc of how he wrote her.

[night-dark-woods]

ID. images of Mara on her throne in Forsaken, and in the Taken King. End ID.

OVERHATED CHARACTERS POLL: Mara Sov (Destiny)

Feel free to explain your position in the comments or tags, but any harassment, over-the-top fighting, or personal attacks will result in you being blocked. Do not attack real people, be they fans or creators, over fictional characters.

[cdragons]

Fuck Everything, But Mostly Fuck You - Part 4

Previous Chapter, Next Chapter. Masterlist

Summary: You have never, EVER, in a million years hated anyone the way you hated Felix fucking Catton. ...Well, maybe you also hated Annabel Williams as much - but you'd be damned before you let a drunk girl out in the hallway without helping her.

Warnings- MDNI 18+, Sex, Felix doesn't make an appearance (but still mentioned), Reader is a girl's girl, Annabel has an epiphany, Michael hates everyone BUT Reader, Farleigh is Farleigh, alternating POVs between characters, and author has spent too much time researching Oxford crap for this mess for a crack fic to be a crack fic. Also Oliver is barely in this chapter, but who cares about that asshat?

Author's Note: I am so sorry for the prolonged hiatus! It was not intentional! My classes have upped the ante in how much HW they gave me, and I got distracted by reading my old GOT fanfics and got ideas for it. BUT - thank you all who've been reading this fic and sharing wonderful comments! They really help push me to become a better writer!

You were caught in a bit of a pickle – granted, it was a voluntary pickle, but a pickle nonetheless.

…Okay, so quick recap of the events that transpired this week:

Regularly-scheduled Annabel tormenting you

Got sexually-harassed by Catton

Had a self-pity session at Bowin

Got found by Mikey Gravy

Olly, the psychotic backstabber/bootlicker, tried to pimp you out to Felix Catton.

You almost committed aggravated homicide of said pimp before Michael dragged you away.

You went to the movies to drool over Johnny Depp.

 You and Michael decided you would crash in his dorm room for the night…leading to your current predicament.

Right now, you were dragging an unconscious Annabel, who was drunk off her ass, with one arm flung over your shoulder as you tried to make get any information of where her dorm was out of her. It was a sad picture – mascara running down her cheeks, vomit from her mouth, and lipstick messily smeared across her face. The smell of vomit mixed with cheap booze was almost enough to make you want to drop her on the ground and leave her there if you hadn’t pitied her so much.

When you realized that you weren’t going to get anything out of her that didn’t involve projectile vomiting, you just decided to bring her to rest up in your dorm.

“I still don’t understand why you’re helping her,” Michael grunted.

Oh, yeah…and Michael was helping you, too.

“Because girl code, Gavey–” you grunted, lifting Annabel’s arm higher when you felt her slipping “–no man left behind – or well, no woman left behind in this case.”

“That’s the Geneva Code.”

“Same difference,” you groaned out. Fuck, how was this girl so heavy?

Michael’s face was getting flushed from the sweat running down his forehead. “So, girl code dictates that you have to help the bitch who’s been making your term hell?”

“Girl Code,” you huffed, “wait, hang on - she’s slipping - okay, there we go. ‘Girl Code’ is more of an honor code expected to be followed by all sisters on their journey to womanhood. And one of the most sacred rules in that honor system is that – fuck, she’s heavy – that if you see a sister drunk and unconscious, you make sure she gets home safe.”

“Or your matchbox dorm room, in this circumstance,” your friend grumbled.

You tiredly nodded. “Exactly! Besides, regardless of how heinous she is, it’s the right thing to do.”

“(Y/N), you realize she won’t be getting hypothermia, right?” Michael frustratingly groaned. “It’s late spring.”

“But that doesn’t mean there aren’t people out there who won’t take advantage of her in her current state. They’d say, ‘Oh, she was asking for it,’ or ‘she’s just imagining things, do you remember how hammered she was?’ And then it’ll be their word against hers.”

You went silent for a bit. “I don’t want that to happen to her. No one should have that happen to them – girl or guy, bully or friend.”

“Well, in any case,” Michael started as the two of you finally arrived at the beginning of your dormitory. “It’s lucky that your dorm is so close to mine. Are you sure you want her in there? There’s still the chance she’ll vomit all over your carpet if she misses the bucket or even your covers.”

You opened the door with your ID card. “I’ll just have to take that chance, I guess. Look, I’ll try to wake her up long enough to see if she remembers any of her friend’s numbers. If any of them pick up, I’ll tell them to pick her up.”

Michael looked at you with heavy doubt in his eyes. “And if they don’t? Pick up, I mean?”

“Then I guess we’ll be having a sleepover,” you sighed as you reached your room at the end of the hallway. “And then we’ll never have to see each other ever again when morning comes.”

Michael loudly snorted while you clumsily reached into your back pocket for your keys. “Don’t jinx yourself. With your bleeding heart, you’ll probably end up donating your liver to her if she doesn’t die of alcohol poisoning first.”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, come one. Have a bit more faith in me – SHIT!” you exclaimed after you dropped your keys.

You quickly scrambled to the floor while Michael guffawed at your misfortune. You shot a quick glare at him to get him to shut up. The bespectacled bastard didn’t stop laughing until…like, three minutes passed. In response, you dropped Annabel’s arm from your shoulder to focus on finding your room key. You chuckled to yourself when you heard Michael curse to himself as he tried to balance the drunk girl’s weight without getting her too close to him. When you finally found it, you inserted it into the lock. You sighed in relief when the door opened. You were even more relieved that your roommate had decided to spend the night at her girlfriend’s dorm. You really didn’t want to have to explain to her why you were voluntarily helping the vile witch bitch who was actively trying to make your college years hell. Meanwhile, Michael grimaced and groaned as he held Annabel away from his body at arm’s length.

“Is sluttiness contagious through touch?” he asked.

“Unless pre-Sith Anakin suddenly pops into this hallway, I don’t think you’ll need to worry about that,” you snorted as you opened the door to let Michael drag the unconscious girl into the room.

Michael scoffed at your choice of Star Wars beefcake. “Bitch, please. Young Obi-Wan Kenobi was far superior.”

He went to the center of the room and released Annabel from his grip to let her unceremoniously fall on the floor, and her body made a soft ‘thump.’ You wrinkled your nose and grimaced at the pathetic nature of tonight. She looked less like the glamorous Oxford party ‘IT’ girl and more like one of those sad groupies who OD’d in their favorite rockstar’s pool from a house party. You didn’t know what the hell her story of tonight was – but it still didn’t mean she deserved to be left alone, slumped against a wall in a dirty hallway with vomit all over her.

You turned to Michael. “Okay! Off you trot!”

Your favorite bespectacled blonde nerd gave you a look of complete bewilderment.

“Seriously?” he asked. “Not even a thank you? I literally dragged her body here from my dormitory and risked being the first victim of a new STD contracted through skin contact.”

You rolled your eyes at his dramatics – if he weren’t such a numbers genius, he would have been the perfect theater kid.

“Don’t be such an incel,” you admonished. “It’s not a good look on you. And I carried more of her body weight than you, dumbass. If I left it up to you, we’d never get anywhere with your twiggy arms.”

You poked his arms in emphasis and snickered when he pouted. He crossed his arms and was about to leave when you pounced on him. A bit of Annabel’s “Britney Spears Fantasy” spray perfume soaked into his shirt, but other than that, he still smelled like himself. The scent of fresh laundry, freshly mowed grass, and spearmint toothpaste made you feel safe. His scent, combined with his body heat, enveloped you in comfort.

“Thanks, Mikey,” you whispered. “I know you didn’t have to help me, but you did anyway.”

Gavey wrapped his arms around you as he rested his chin on your head. He usually hated contact with anybody save his family, but you were always the exception. Michael should probably have warned you that the rotten and acidic odor from Annabel’s puke would ruin your shirt, but he just let himself replace her cheap perfume with your fragrance. The scent of your favorite honey and jasmine conditioner in your hair mostly covered the faint traces of turpentine and linseed oil on your skin.

“Of course I did,” he softly replied. “With your shit sense of direction, you would have ended up in the bottom of the ditch.”

You gasped and lightly pushed him away. “Uhhh, way to ruin the moment!”

Michael snickered at the way your jaw had dropped in shock and betrayal. You then resorted to mockingly punching him in the stomach as he did nothing to stop you. He couldn’t help but look at you in total and utter fondness as he continued to ‘beat him up.’

But in all honesty, Michael didn’t mind helping you. He loved it. He’d rather get Crucio-ed than say it, but you were his favorite person in the whole world. In a desert of fakes and masks of insincerity, you were like gentle rain with your genuine vibrance and rare honesty. He loved how endlessly kind and empathetic you were to others. He just hated it when you granted acts of kindness to the plebes unworthy of you. You’d give the benefit of the doubt to the worst of the worst on campus – Annabel being a case in point.

Remembering the drunk elephant in the room, Michael grabbed your fists and stared at you thoughtfully.

“Seriously, though,” he began, “why are you helping her? I know you told me about ‘girl code’ and all that. But is that seriously it?”

You thumped your head against his chest. “Look, I get it. Annabel is a horrible person, and with how awful she treated me – she doesn’t deserve my kindness, my help, or my pity. But that doesn’t change that it was the right thing to do. And if not us, who knows who would have picked her up? If another guy other than you ‘helped’ her…you do the math.”

A groggy voice broke the two of you apart. “Are you two going to shag? Because I can leave.”

You and Michael jumped apart as you watched Annabel lift herself from the floor and stagger to her feet. Her legs wobbled briefly before giving out, and then she fell to the floor. You turned to Michael and gave him one final hug before seeing him out. He looked disgusted at the girl sitting on the cheap carpet before turning to you, concerned. Mikey asked if you were confident you didn’t need him here to help you.

“I’ll take it from here,” you reassured him. You flexed your arm – 80s jock bully style. “I’m a tough girl. I carry my canvases and textbooks and everything, after all.”

“Okay,” he dragged out the last syllable. “But if you end up putting her down, give me a call, and I’ll help you bury the body.”

“Um,” interjected Annabel, “you know I’m right here, you arse.”

 “Hey,” you admonished, “he did help carry you here. He could have left you in that hallway alone.”

“Whatever,” she scoffed. “Probably did it so he could cop a feel, the slimy wanker.”

“Please,” Michael sneered, “as if I’d ever willingly touch someone with a higher body count than Dahmer and Bundy combined. I’m only here because I wanted to help (Y/N) – she’s the one who was worried about your sad self.”

Ugh, this was going to be a long night. You turned to Michael with apologetic eyes and reassured him that he wasn’t a wanker. You promised you’d make it up to him by buying all the Crunchie bars he wanted. Mikey’s eyes softened at your sincerity as he began to walk down the corridor to make the trek to his dorm.

You softly closed your door so as not to cause any further disturbance. When you turned around, you were startled by the dead stare Annabel was giving you. You looked down at your feet as you shifted uncomfortably in your spot. You cleared your throat to try and break the tension.

“Um, soooo…I’m glad you’re awake. You were sitting so still in that hall, I was worried you OD’d,” you nervously joked. But all she did was continue to stare at you. “So, do you have your phone with you? I figured it would be best if you called one of your friends. I’m sure they’re really worried about you. I know I’d be going out of my mind if one of my friends–”

“What kind of fucking game are you playing here?” she snarled. Her large, doe-brown eyes narrowed in anger as you stopped talking.

“Uhhh,” your mind was coming out blank. “Wait, I don’t – I don’t know what you mean?”

Annabel rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t play stupid. Why’d you help me? Did you want to take pictures of me drunk and unconscious?”

Your jaw fucking dropped. “What?! NO! I just–”

“I’m sure that would’ve made some fucking good blackmail material,” ignoring you and continuing, “I can see it: ‘Annabel Williams drunk in the hall after trying to shag fucking sad Ollie.’ You’re so obvious.”

You tried to explain yourself. “Okay, look- I think there’s a big misunderstanding here–”

“Or maybe you want to show the pictures to Felix, not that he’d care or anything. You got him all wrapped up in your little Yankee finger, you know that? It’s so pathetic and sick – it makes me want to–”

“HEY!” you yelled – finally making her just shut UP. You closed your eyes and took deep breaths to calm down. “Look, Michael and I were walking to his dorm when we saw you were sitting in the hallway. I tried to ask you if you had your phone on you and if you wanted me to call anyone, but you were out cold. And I couldn’t just leave you there, okay? That’s dangerous! And I didn’t know where you lived – you know, considering that you hate me–” you cut off your rambling with a deep breath “–so he and I dragged you to my dorm.”

The silence that followed was so stifling you wanted to open a window. Maybe if you let some fresh air in, it might calm the girl down. It would also help diffuse some of the puke odor stinking up your room.

“…Anyway, if you don’t have your phone on you right now, I can always call them myself. Do you remember their numbers? I know you and India are close. Do you think she’s available right now?”

More silence.

You began fidgeting. “I mean, you can stay over if no one is available? I don’t mind since my roommate is sleeping over–”

Annabel interrupted you again. “You’re so full of it. You just wanted to help me? For what? For the sake of being the goody-two-shoes kiss-ass, you’ve always been? Did you want me to bow and worship you?”

“Annabel,” you groaned, “it’s been a really long night, okay? And I don’t feel like arguing when you aren’t sober and in your right mind.”

“Oh yeah,” she bitterly laughed. “Be a pushover, and get everyone to love you. Tell everyone how much of a ‘heinous’ bitch I am. Play the victim – that’s all you’ll ever be. Just go back with your pathetic little nerd friend and be invisible and boring like the goody-goody who thinks she’s better than the rest of us.”

The quiet in the room was surprisingly loud. Shock and disbelief morphed into fury as your fists clenched so hard that your nails left red welts on your skin. Your body trembled in anger as your tongue felt too heavy to express everything you wanted to say.

‘Pushover’ she called you? ‘Play the victim,’ she said?

Who the hell was she to have any right to judge you? Did she have any idea what you’ve sacrificed? How much have you suffered and left behind? Could she even have the slightest decency to understand what you’ve been through? Of what she put you through?

…You know what? …Fuck her. Fuck Annabel Williams and all of Oxford’s elite. They were proof that Michael was right – that doing the right thing meant nothing to them.

Your voice was cold, and your eyes were numb. “…I’m going to take a shower,” you grab a towel and your shower buddy. “I want you to get the hell out of my dorm by the time I get back. Call your friend or don’t? Do whatever the hell you want. I don’t care.”

You slammed the door on your way out.

“Finally,” Annabel thought with some relief, “she’s gone.”

When you left, the room felt ten degrees colder the way the door slammed, and Annabel felt goosebumps form on her arm. This was the worst night of her life. She had never felt so humiliated.

Her mummy told her she was just born blessed because God knew she was exceptional, and she always believed that to be true. For her entire life, she was the girl every boy wanted to bed and the girl every girl wanted to be. She never had to fight for anyone’s attention. Her parents gladly bought her the latest versions of top-of-the-line technology. Her closet here and at her parent’s townhouse in Kensington was filled with designer-brand exclusives and limited-editions. She had everything.

For people like her, life was supposed to be easy. She was born at the top, so she would be there till the day she died.

So why was she losing to you?

When she came to Oxford, she figured it would be as easy as most of her life. She’d spend her time partying and networking with the right people. If she had to blackmail a nerd to take her classes or blow a teacher to give her an “A”? Who would say otherwise?

But then she met Felix Catton and finally felt she had met her match. Finally, there was someone who checked all the boxes: rich, tall, handsome, and fun. That part made Felix the golden sheep who stood above the rest of the flock – he was fun. Not only did he know how to have a good time, he knew how to properly fuck a girl, too.

She was so drunk off the taste of his lips and the feel of him around her – so much so that she broke her golden rule.

“Never fall first.”

Annabel felt herself falling hard for Felix Catton. She thought they were exclusive. He was her boyfriend, and she was his girlfriend. But then…he became distant. He stopped calling he and ignored her when they returned to campus after the break. But then he and she left the bar at Kings’ Crossing, and she was so happy! She wanted to cry when he kissed her hard and ripped her 100 quid top in half.

It didn’t matter if she wasn’t wet when he entered her. It didn’t matter that he didn’t wait for her to adjust when he started to thrust. It didn’t matter when she tried to moan his name; he would cover her mouth with his giant hand to shut her up. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t close to finishing when he came inside her. It didn’t matter when her windpipes were almost crushed when he fell on top of her after finishing.

They were together. He chose her! Annabel and Felix – Mrs. Felix Catton, she could see it now. They’d have a wedding in his house at Saltburn. She would have to meet his parents, but she wasn’t worried – all her flings’ parents loved her! They would be together forever, and nothing would ever–

“(Y/N),” Felix whispered above her – and Annabel’s world completely fell apart.

She immediately shoved his body off hers and hurriedly dressed before getting the hell out of his room. Annabel didn’t bother putting on her shoes before running with tears down her face to her dorm. And when she returned to her single, she flung herself to her bed and cried to sleep. She didn’t bother attending class that week – not when her heart broke.

Felix had been thinking about you – you. He called out your name after finishing. Was he imagining your naked body when hers was under him? Had he been imagining you every time he fucked her?

Annabel smelled Felix’s aftershave and wanted to rip the skin off her body. God, she never felt more like a whore in her entire life.

“God,” she thought, “I was so pathetic! How could I be so stupid to fall for Felix Catton? Why did I trick myself into hoping that we would be together?”

Felix wanted a good girl—like you—the American scholarship student who wanted to paint pretty pictures and was at the top of her classes. The lovely New Yorker who hung around losers and still held your head up high despite every professor thinking you were in over your head to come here. Some pushover bitch who was so pathetic and actually–

The door slammed open again, and Annabel’s pretty sure she’d scream if she weren’t so fucking tired. You came storming in with your towel and shower caddy in your hands, and your eyes were a raging storm while your lips were pursed like you had sucked a lemon. Your nostrils are flaring as you angrily breathe through your nose. Annabel was about to open her mouth, but you menacingly pointed at her with your pointer finger. It felt like forever until you finally opened your mouth.

“Look! We don’t have to be friends and I don’t expect us to be friends – but you know what? YES, I WOULD LIKE A THANK YOU! I dragged your unconscious ass across campus, and you REEKED of vomit and bad perfume! And not to body shame, but you are WAY TOO SKINNY to be healthy to be as heavy as you were when I carried you!”

“Excuse me?!” Annabel sputtered. “Who the fuck–”

“Oh! I’m not done!” you shouted. “I don’t know if you being horrible and a bitch is supposed to be some power trip or some shit, but it’s so cliché! Are we in Mean Girls? Are you Regina George? No, am I Janice from Lebanon? NO! And on that – I have a few bones to pick with you…MISSY!

I–” You pointed to yourself “–am NOT a pushover, okay? I fucking beat your stupid manwhore boy toy like it was goddamn ‘Whack o’ Mole’ for ruining my painting! Pushovers don’t do that!  FURTHERMORE – me calling you a ‘horrible person’ or ‘heinous bitch’ isn’t me ‘playing the victim’! You HAVE been a HORRIBLE person to me, alright? And what’s worse – I don’t have the slightest idea why! Was it something I said to you last term? Or were you born a spoilt princess who never had to work for anything in her life because mommy and daddy will always give you everything you want so you could forget that they would probably instead work than deal with their brat? Seriously – what is it? Because you’re driving me CRAZY!”

When you were done, Annabel sat on the floor, completely silent, and stared at you unblinkingly. She hadn’t expected you to come back so quickly – let alone to scream at her. She stared at your huffing and shallow breathing in awe and slight amazement. Your hair looked frazzled from your outburst, and your (e/c) eyes were bright with wild impulse.

Annabel felt her bottom lip quiver and stared at an ugly stain on the carpet. She didn’t want to show any more of herself than she had already. But what the hell? You already saw more of her than most of her so-called ‘friends.’ What was a little more? If she had to show more of the ugliest parts of herself, why not show it to someone she already hated?

Before she could stop herself, Annabel felt her shoulders sag and shake as sobs tore through her petite frame. Tears and snot were running down her face as she furiously tried to wipe them away – if nothing but to try and save some shred of dignity. Annabel was crying so much that she didn’t see the surprised look on your face morph to slight guilt since you thought you may gone too far with your rant. You reached out to tap her shoulder when you heard her speak.

“Why doesn’t he want me?” she sobbed. “What do I have to do to get him to love me?”

If you were taken aback by her crying, you were completely caught off-guard by her questions. You walked over to your desk and grabbed a box of tissues before crouching on the ground. You handed her a few tissues from the box and waved to her face to present them. Annabel noticed how you tried hard not to see how much her hand trembled when she reached forward to grab the tissues from you.

“Who?” you softly asked her. “Are you talking about Felix?”

Annabel blew her nose into the tissue hard. “Who else?! I mean…look at me! Everyone wants me! Everyone – boys, girls, teachers! Do you know how many of my past flings gladly emptied their pockets so I might wank them? But he wants you! What do you have that I don’t?”

Concern and pity shifted to confusion before realization kicked in, and you were so done with this conversation already. Maybe you were a slightly horrible person for this, but you felt so disappointed when Annabel told you that her entire drama with you had been over Felix Catton.

“…That’s why you’ve been tormenting me this entire term so far?” you flatly asked. “Because of Felix Catton?”

“He called out your name–” she gasped a heavy sob “– while he was fucking me! Do you have any idea how that feels?”

“Okay, wow,” you thought, “that’s actually really shitty – fuck.”

“Do you know how humiliating that was for me? He was still inside me, for fucks’ sake! I felt him shrink!”

Okay – that was so much more information about Annabel’s and Felix’s sex life than you ever wanted to know.

You coughed into your hand as your face flushed red. “Oh, um–I’ve never really…done it before. So…I wouldn’t really don’t know how that feels.”

“Ugh, of course, you’re a virgin,” she groaned. “Don’t tell me you don’t drink either.”

When you remained silent, Annabel let out a bitter laugh. “Damn, you think you’re hot shit and everything. But you really are a goody-goody. What – you saving yourself for God or some shit?”

“HEY! Just because I like to keep my head down and not a party and get plastered every five minutes doesn’t make me a goody-two-shoes. I just don’t like the taste of alcohol, and increased chances of lung cancer doesn’t exactly spell out ‘fun’ for me.”

But Annabel ignores your outburst and continues to dismiss you. “Yeah, right. I bet you call your mommy and daddy every night. Do you tell them that you miss them and want to go home? Or do you wish to bake cookies with your mummy as daddy watches the telly?”

Annabel’s taunting is only responded to with silence as she grows confused by your melancholic expression.

“…I can’t call them at all,” you respond. “International calls are too expensive. The best I can do is email or Skype. And planned calls can hardly be reliable since my parents’ schedules are always all over the place with their jobs.”

“When–” Annabel’s voice cracked “– when’s the last time you saw them? In real life?”

“I was supposed to see them during Christmas Break,” you bitterly explained, “but then Felix crashed into me when I was on my way to deliver it. He ruined my painting, and I had to redo it completely, not to fail and completely flush my parents’ money down the drain.”

“I thought you were here on scholarship? Doesn’t that mean you don’t have to pay to come here?”

“I’m here on a partial scholarship,” you explained. “It covers a good part of my tuition, but not all of it – and definitely not for housing and meal plans. Travel expenses alone were so expensive, so I had to leave alone. Mom cried so much at the security checkpoint, and Dad almost didn’t want me to go. I didn’t even want to go. But they wanted me to experience more of the world while I still could.”

“…Do you miss them?” Annabel asked. She felt silly asking a question with such an obvious answer. But, hearing how you talked about your parents crying their goodbyes to you compared to the simple wave she got hers after they dropped her off campus made her feel a deep longing.

You let out a shaky sob. “More than anything. You never realize how much you miss your home and family until an entire ocean separates you.”

Annabel uncomfortably shifted in her spot as she noticed your eyes getting misty. She couldn’t remember the last time she cried over missing her parents and felt that you were being overdramatic. Annabel spent her entire break with her parents at their house, but she couldn’t remember the last time they ate at the same table unless it was for one of her dad’s dinner parties. What did it feel like – to miss and love someone so much after not seeing them for a year?

What did it feel like – to have an entire lifetime of that kind of love?

Does having that kind of love make you?

“…Why did you help me?” Annabel finally asked. She couldn’t bear the tension anymore. “You could have just left me there. Why help me and bring me here of all places?”

“…Because it was the right thing to do,” you explained and shrugged. “You were drunk and vulnerable. Maybe it was fear of being a potential bystander if someone tried to take advantage of you – but I was scared something was going to happen to you. Regardless of my feelings toward you and yours toward me, no one should ever find themselves in a position where if they’re telling the truth, it’s someone else’s word against theirs. I’ve seen it too happen many times already.”

“What do you say in response to that?” Annabel thought to herself – shocked by how genuinely you answered her question. Since you were honest with her, she figured she could at least be honest with you.

“If it were you,” she began, “I wouldn’t have done for you what you did for me.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, “you probably wouldn’t – but that’s neither here nor there. Because I’m me, and you’re you.”

“…Are you really not interested in Felix?” Annabel asked. She was surprised by your disgusted groan.

“Oh my god–” you put your face into your hands and loudly groaned “–I don’t understand why everyone has an obsession with this guy.”

Annabel raised her brow. “Seriously?”

“Yes! He’s so gross – I studied in an empty classroom last week. He sat next to me, basically propositioned me, and then put his hand on my thigh! Does that sound like someone I would want to date?”

“You know he’s just doing it to get your attention because he likes you, right?”

You scoffed at her input. “Pffft– and that makes it alright of him to invade my personal space via sexual harassment? I hate how everyone makes excuses for him – and why? Because he’s richer than God and has an ‘alright-looking’ face? So what?”

“Oh, believe me,” snickered Annabel, “he’s more than just ‘alright-looking’ and he fucks as good as he looks.”

You sagely shook your head. “A person like that has nothing to offer himself. He desperately clings to his family’s wealth and the benefits of his status so tightly – and he pretends not to enjoy it, but he’s the type of person to love leeching on someone’s misfortune to feel better about himself.”

You shuddered as you remembered Felix’s constant leering at you since the term began.

“He’s like a vampire – I’ve seen enough of them in high school to recognize them from miles away.”

Annabel was utterly silent at your analysis of Oxford’s Golden Boy. She never considered the possibility of someone out there who didn’t absolutely covet and revere him. She assumed that you were purposely playing ‘hard-to-get’ to get his attention, but maybe you were sincere in his disgust by him.

“Plus, he looks like the type to be absolutely shit at foreplay and only knows how to stick it in.”

Annabel was so caught off-guard by your statement that she immediately burst out laughing. You were surprised by her reaction and started to laugh, too. She was laughing so hard that tears started rolling down her cheeks, and her stomach started to hurt.

“HE IS!” she agreed while nodding. “He does the bare minimum! I’ve been giving him constant blowjobs, and I can count the number of times he’s eaten me out with one hand! The only type of prep he knows how to do is finger me!”

“Oh my god! EW!” you guffawed. “Why did you put up with him for so long?!”

Annabel shrugged. “He’s the most popular guy on campus – even the upperclassmen adore him. I was always the popular girl throughout primary and secondary prep. It just made sense.”

“My parents told me college was all about discovering new things about yourself,” you said. “Maybe…you could do that for yourself.”

Annabel looked wistful before nodding. “Yeah…you know this doesn’t mean we’re friends, right?”

You rolled your eyes. “Please, tonight’s the last night I’m willingly dealing with a demon like you. I’ll stick to forcing Michael to watch my favorite Johnny Depp movies—thank you very much.”

Annabel watched your eyes soften at the mention of your friend…Michael Gravy? Was he the guy who left the two of you together after snarking at her?

…Oh god, it all made sense now.

“Are you and Gravy fucking?” she bluntly asked. She huffed in amusement at how red your face became as you began to sputter.

“WHAT?! No-NO! We’re friends!” you exclaimed before getting all shy.

“You were awfully protective of him a bit ago to be ‘just friends,’” Annabel countered. “Spill it – what’s going on between you two?”

“He’s my best friend,” you explained to Annabel. “He let me stay with his family after I finished repainting my assignment – which was really amazing of him.”

She watched how you smiled when continuing to talk about him.

“I know he can seem a bit odd and rude at first,” you continued. “But Michael is one of the best people on campus. He can be really sweet when you get close to him – especially when he talks about his family. His little sister, Lily, is so adorable! He’s a total nerd but a complete sweetheart when you get to know him.”

Annabel bemusedly watched as you gushed about your ‘best friend.’ It was almost sweet how gone you were for the nerd. You didn’t even realize how gone you were for him. For a bit, Annabel could see why Felix was so enamored with you.

“Well,” she interrupted as she stood up, “I guess your obliviousness to your feelings isn’t any of my business or whatever. Thanks for…helping me – it was really nice of you.”

You warmly smiled at her. “Sure! Do you have to meet anyone tomorrow morning?”

“Uh, no?”

You walked to your closet and grabbed a towel, a worn T-shirt, and old sweats. You handed them to her as Annabel looked at you in confusion.

“Since you’re here,” you began, “and it’s already like…3 a.m. – you might as well shower and stay over since tomorrow’s Saturday.”

“…Why?”

“You still have puke all over you,” you explained, “and it’s getting really hard pretending it’s not extremely gross. Plus, I can’t imagine you’re comfortable right now.”

“What’s with the clothes?”

You shrugged. “Well, I can’t exactly have you sleep in your dress and ruin my sheets! You can shower and sleep on my bed while I sleep on my roommate’s. Now, are you going to take them?”

Annabel hesitated before she took the bundle from your hands. You then opened the door. While holding it, you looked at her as if expecting her to follow you. What confused her most was the way she did exactly that.

While in the shower, she didn’t even mind that you didn’t have any of her usual hair products. Your conditioner looked like it was bought at a cheap dollar store – you didn’t even have a loofah. But when she exited the shower stall before drying herself with your towel and changing into your baggy clothes, she felt calmer than she had these past few weeks. As she crawled under your sheets and comforter, you turned off the night and wished her good night.

Annabel stared at the ceiling for about an hour before she grabbed her phone. She managed to find it while digging through her dress pockets. She was going to wash it when she got back to her dorm. Opening it, she rolled down at the dozens of messages from India and their girlfriends. Her eyes slightly widened at the soft *ping* her phone let out when she got a new message to show it was from Felix.

To her surprise, she didn’t feel anything. She didn’t care he messaged her that he had forgotten their plans. Staring at her screen, she just felt…nothing. So she did the very thing she should have done weeks ago.

She deleted Felix Catton’s number from her contact list.

Annabel slept better that night than she had all term.

After that night with Annabel, life simply went on. She and you weren’t ‘friends’ per se, but she no longer went out of her way to torment you like she had done before. She even told off some of her friends when they talked about you behind your back.

You two weren’t friends, but you hoped that there was at least some fraction of mutual respect. If you couldn’t be friends, then at least you two didn’t have to be enemies – you were happy to settle for being a ‘frenemy.’

You found yourself sitting by yourself at one of the tables in the library. Michael had to meet with one of his teachers about an essay but promised to meet with you as soon as he finished. You were repeatedly listening to Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” when you heard the chair next to you being pulled out.

Fully expecting it to be Felix, you were ready to tell him to fuck off and bother some other poor soul that needed saving, but you were surprised to find that the person sitting next to you was his cousin, Farleigh Start. He introduced himself by stating his name and giving you a firm handshake. There wasn’t much you could do but reciprocate.

“Quite the save you gave our Annabel,” Farleigh grinned. “Very magnanimous of you, especially considering how she treated you.”

“What do you want from me?” you blurted out. “I’m busy, and I would appreciate it if you just left so I can continue studying.”

You weren’t normally so rude, but this was Felix Catton’s cousin – and if this was a ploy to get you in his pants, you wanted no part of it. But your skepticism only seemed to please the boy sitting beside you more. His wry grin curled into a wide Cheshire Cat smile as he continued to stare at you with eager fascination.

Farleigh started to lean toward you, and you instinctively leaned away from him. You eyed him with extreme caution as if he were a mad scientist and you were a paralyzed specimen. And his eyes looked like he couldn’t wait to cut you open.

“I like you,” he stated. “Let’s be friends.”

Tagging: @ethereal-athalia, @arcielee, @valeskafics, @asa-do-your-thing, @aphroditesmoon, @axelsagewrites, @the1999kid, @poolnoodlerescuer, @aemondsbabe, @winterblu2, @abaker74, @whereismymindno, @agustdeeyaa, @iamavailablesstuff, @bonnieblue0606, @st-eve-barnes, @nyxthoughtss, @immyowndefender, @ilovemydinoboi, @ahristata, @cxp1d, @jinsoulorbitzen12, @temptation-waits, @bollzinurmouth, @jcngw0ns, @seababehh, @destinydestnation, @lankyboi4, @mindless-rock, @cassavacakes, @paradisepoisons, @pansexualpamandabear, @erikasurfer, @lissamans, @cookielovesbook-akie, @thesmutconnoisseur, @izzyisstuff, @lariisouz

Reblog if you liked reading this chapter and want me to continue! Also please comment if you want to be added to the taglist!

[jnkgrnde]

— closer, clarisse la rue, pjo

summary — in which, clarisse la rue can’t get enough of you, no matter how much you set her off. loosely based off of closer by RM. (media from princemick !)

pairings — clarisse la rue x black!fem!reader (daughter of poseidon)

authors note — first pjo fic.. kinda nervous 🫣 here’s my new years gift for the lack of posting 😭

clarisse la rue.

whether you feared her, hated her, were intimidated by her, you knew her name if you resided in camp half-blood. she was the infamous daughter of ares, god of war. if she didn’t scare you by her demeanor alone, then she had that status and her electric spear to back it up.

and then there was you.

you were a poseidon kid, claimed early, then got thrown into the poseidon cabin to fend for yourself. it felt lonesome at times, but getting along with people like luke and annabeth helped. it was also nice having a cabin to yourself, free to decorate it however you liked!

people thought you were pretty chill, a little scary with how you come along with your powers and whatnot, but overall you were a fun person to be around.

except when you were around clarisse. you definitely got under her skin, whether she liked it or not (she was starting to).

you were quick with your comebacks whenever she had something to say, which got snickers from her siblings around her, you were good with a blade, good in war games, good in almost everything she was.

did it get to her? yes. but did she find it attractive? also yes.

you could hold your own and your friends if it came down to it, and as a daughter of ares, she found that attractive.

that was all up until percy jackson came.

did you know you had siblings somewhere? yes, but you didn’t expect one to actually make it here, much less alive, but here we were. you were a couple years older than percy you found out. his mom had died on his way here with grover, another friend of yours. all he really wanted to do was find out who his father was and why all this was happening.

you felt protective of him, and that meant feeling protective of him against clarisse.

he didn’t know but you could tell he was a son of poseidon, your brother. you felt inclined to guide him until he found his way around and got used to what his life was now.

flash forward to the day after he arrived. he was already gaining some popularity around camp because of his encounter with the minotaur. in the morning you met up with him and luke, telling him about how the day after was capture the flag day.

you were walking until a familiar brunette came into view, knocking into percy. you snapped your head towards her just as she pushed him into the dirt. “hey, clarisse, back up.” you stepped closer to her. she looked at you, and for a moment your heart skipped a beat.

when had she been so pretty?

you two ‘glared’ (admired) at eachother for a moment before she turned to percy. “so this is the kid who killed the minotaur?” you looked at percy and he locked eyes for a quick second before looking back at clarisse. he looked scared but used to it, like he’d been bullied all his life.

“you want attention around here, dummy? you better be ready for it when it comes.” she jumped at him to scare him, then left laughing, not before making eye contact with you once more.

“well, she seems nice.” percy commented. “don’t worry about her. she just has this image to keep up. she’ll leave you alone soon, i’m sure.” you told him.

did you know that? no, but you didn’t want him to have to deal with anything yet.

“why don’t people mess with you?” percy asked you and luke. “they know better. best swordsman in over a century and she can drown people if she wanted.” luke explained with a smirk.

it was later in the day. the sun was still up, it was warm out, and the smell of the strawberry fields graced you. you were practing with your main weapon of choice. grunts rang in the air as you practiced on your dummy.

it was empty, which was just what you needed to blow off some steam. at least, it was empty until clarisse walked over. “you’re doing it wrong.” you didn’t face her, choosing to ignore her. you continued until a hand gripped your wrist.

“you ignoring me now?” just you ignoring her started her off wrong. she wanted you to pay attention to her. “do you need something?” you hissed at her. “i was talking to you. your forms off.” “mkay. thanks.” you went to go back to the dummy before she placed a hand on your waist to turn you back around. “you realize that could get you killed right?” she scolded. you stared at each other until she realized where her hand was and took it off like you were a hot pan burning her.

you mulled over the interaction; your waist felt tingly- you felt tingly. she was just so pretty and she was starting to make you nervous, but you had to do something.

“you willing to correct it then? since you feel like you need to comment on it.” you remarked.

this is what got her going.

you always having something quick to say, getting under her skin but in the right way.

she smirked, canines showing a little. it had your heart racing.

she went over to the dummy with a dagger that was on standby, and showed you a technique she used. “like that.” she moved to go behind you and gripped your waist again. “what are you doing?”

“relax, i’m moving you into a stance.” she told you.

was she half lying? well, sorta kinda. she was moving you, but she just wanted to be closer to you.

she adjusted your stance, then moved back and allowed you to practice. “just like that.” she told you.

“why are you helping me?” clarisse shrugged. “got bored.” “you sure you just didn’t wanna be near me?” you jokingly asked.

“maybe i did, maybe i didn’t.”

she did. she just wanted to be closer to you.

[punkeropercyjackson]

Hobie Brown being black headcanons by an afrosolarpunk because white punks be overstepping with him

He's jamaican-ugandan and Earth 139 Camden Town raised,based on his wicks,patois usage,love of the sea(lives on a boat),darker/stronger features,surname and Daniel Kaluuya

His wicks used to be dreads

His rbf comes from being audhd with no masking game because growing up black means he never learned how to mask

He also grew up getting bullied at school and a bully beater,even for kids who were mean to him,and was kicked out of multiple ones due to refusing to stop standing up for himself and other little guys

Before the Spiderbands(comics + movie)came along,he didn't have real friends and it took him a while to realize it,caused by the normalization for nonblacks to use and treat their black friends as lesser than them.It broke his heart when it hit him but thanks to having real friends,he's slowly healing and learning self-love and how much he's worth

He was treated so badly over his looks he literally developed ptsd and wouldn't have had it that young if it weren't for all the insults and backhanded compliments he got.He knows he's cool.Does he know he's handsome,pretty,cute and every other non-sexual word for attractive?Nah and it takes him a long time to believe it

He's the biggest mama's boy ever and hates his dad for being a deadbeat(the latter is canon to the comics per his og Prowler incarnation).He also feels bad about having a deadbeat dad for 'being a stereotype' and it pisses him off because TIGER is the one playing into the stereotype by BEING a deadbeat.His mama's name is Tani'yah(created by @teenpunkblack)and he calls her Mama specifically and she calls him 'My Sea Star' and he started having wicks to model himself after her and she couldn't always protect him for reasons beyond her control and feels like she failed him but he never,EVER resents her and is grateful for all she did to raise him,which is everything she could and constantly thrived for more.She was also the only positive adult figure he had until he met Jessica,with grown ahh people like his teachers straight picking on him when they got the chance.That helped his anti-authority mindset big time

He's transmasc unlabeled i.e nonbinary and boygirl.He diy'd his own testosterone and has anchor top surgery scars and Tani'yah named him,his egg cracking at age seven and he came out to her before he did anyone else and a bit later asked her to name him,doing the 🥺 face and she assigned Hobart.He has the gender trauma that comes with being black but the black trans swag too and he's femme(canon)and uses both male and female terms and being called 'Peter Pan','Babyboy' and 'Angel' gives him gender euphoria

He has a strong aversion to blondeness and blue eyes because of the aformentioned ptsd origin and his one rule in punk body modification is he'll never bleach his hair(yes,this is an Arms Race look diss.Apologize to Gwen for the comparisons RN,Hobie was literally whitewashed)

Other than punk rock,his favorite music genres are calypso,rap,black death metal and lo-fi hip hop.He's into pop/pop punk too but literally only listens to black pop artists and is a Meet Me @ The Altar stan('Kool','Switchblade' and 'TMI' are totally a Hobie vibe.'I'm normally like this' by Alt Black Era is too)

His special interests are the sea,punk culture,dogs,indie media and kidcore.He's a surfer,he makes sea material based things,his favorite season is summer,his favorite jamaican/ugandan cuisines are their sea foods,he has countless marine facts memorized,his type is mermaid-y black women,he always wanted a pet dog as a kid and even acted like one sometimes like having a barking vocal stim and it turns out not only did his dream come true in Spidermutt but he's also actually dogkin(great dane),he pursues indie games and obscure shows/movies/podcasts/etc in favor of popular media to support small creators for anti-capitalism and kidcore is the perfect coping mechanism for all the adultification trauma he got and allowing himself to be openly soft and have fun and be cared for without loosing his punkness

Jessica is the one who found him,completely by accident,and brought him to Spider Society,completely on purpose.She saw a spark in him and slowly took him as a son figure at the same time Hobie slowly started viewing Jessica as his second mother.They're literally the cooler Miles and Peter B relathionship wise and Jessica stands up for Hobie against adults while Hobie jumps people for being rude to Jessica and they take care of eachother's hair,go out for street food trucks food together,share a bed sometimes and parallell play whenever they can and Jessica calls Hobie her Baby and Hobie diy's gifts for his Spidermama.They're also afropunk/black earthy solidarity and Hobie turned Jessica into an afrosolarpunk specifically

He says 'nigga' fairly often and uses bonnets but not durags and said bonnets are mostly hand-me-downs and he has them little flags on sticks of the jamaican,british and ugandan flags

He has a complex skincare routine and an even more complex haircare routine.He smells super good 24/7 as a result

He actually loves incense because it reminds him of Tani'yah so he uses it around his house boat and his room has not a door but a beads curtain in his colors(blue,red,pink and white)

He loves african chai so bad and not a black thing but he also loves cotton candy boba so bad(fr i learned how to make it at home and i unlocked a new chemical in my head,Hobs deserves to drink it too)

Hobie is not a feminist.Hobie is a womanist and also black4black

Him and Margo are tight.It started when he went up to her to ask her for help on learning how to use technology and they went on a cyberadventure across the Spidernet interesting enough to fill a half hour short and didn't sleep the whole night and Margo faceplanted into her loaded nachos while Hobie squeezed his soda can so hard it spurted onto the ceiling when Lyla told them good morning.Margo is haitian-american so there's a lot of cultural exchange going on and she's into pink y2k black girl aesthetics and the lifestyle so Hobie joins in with her when asked and they're very openly affectionate to the point they could be mistaken for a couple but also is it really mistake?They're not so sure themselves and they're totally okay with that.All that matters is they love eachother and that they're Hobie and Margo,not just Hobie and just Margo.They go out for voodoo donuts in their respective dimensions as a duo every saturday <3

Afrolatina Gwen 'cause it fits and fixes.She's a lightskin biracial afro-dominicana with black hair and brown eyes,one of the mermaid-y black women Hobie's type is and had straight hair in Itsv but locs in Atsv as an implied hair journey.They met at one of his concert's where she thought he was super hot and made an absolute fool of herself but his autistic ass found that super hot so he brought her up on stage to sing as a ref to that one concept art and they reunited the next day at Spider Society when she recognized him as that one kid Jessica also mentors and ran up to him to reintroduce herself,him being stunned at her being Ghostspider.She reached out to unmask him so he smirked and did the same,saying 'Eager to see your pretty face again too,Gwendita' and they linked arms as they walked together and yapped about tons of things,becoming best friends from that day on.Hobie gets Gwen into the political sides of punk she wasn't allowed to touch before and takes her with him to protests,riots and charities and Gwen gets Hobie to remember he's allowed to participate in the fun parts of punk by dragging him to steal food from marts with her,teaching him to skateboard and introducing him to pastel punk and she's also the reason for his kidcore spinterest as she introduced him to that too to help him heal his inner child as she does herself

Gwen kicks George's ass instead of being gaslight by him into thinking he always loved her for the copganda narrative since he only wants half of who she is(triple meaning).Hobie suggested Gwen's locs but Jessica did them for her and Hobie convinced Gwen to dye her hair pink and did to that job for her and that was how they got together,him leaning over her as his hands were covered in pink hair dye and earlier in the day he mentioned he'd never been kissed on the lips as he gave her a good morning cheek kiss so she took the chance on impulse and kissed him fullon then hid her face in her hair in embarrasment and whispered an apology at his shocked state only for him to tell her to do it again so she did and they nonsexually made out,him taking the lead this time.She calls him 'Hubbie' because she already considers him her husband and he calls her 'Babydoll' in addition to Gwendita because 1.black nickname and 2.Gwen's kidcore special interest includes a heavy love for dolls like Polly Pocket,Monster High,Shopkins,etc

He's a big fan of Amanda The Adventurer,Abbott Elementary and Craig Of The Creek.Margo,Jessica and Gwen are responsible for them in order

He adresses them,Tani'yah and Miles as 'my fave gyals' and 'the angels of my life'

He has a fat ass crush on Miles and him,Gwen and Margo are the Spidey Core Four because Hobie and Margo went looking for Gwen in worry when they saw she sneaked off without telling them so they ended up being a part of the Gwen and Miles dynamics as a best friends quartet,starting mid-swinging across New York scene.He calls Miles 'Tinkerbell' and his first words to him when he caught him just as he was about to fall as Margo did the sane for Gwen were 'Ay,Tinkerbell,you out of pixie dust?Need a lil faith and trust?',the cat charm on his Watch concept art was a gift from Miles to him and Jefferson and Rio approve of them so hard because they're a black4black couple and Hobie is afropunk personified.Punkflower is punk4punk canonically since Miles' symbol was based on the anarchy symbol and they do graffiti and bake sunflower themed baked goods as solo dates

'Solo dates' because the Spidey Core Four are a polycule.They're all aroacespec so they're relathionship anarchy and t4t4t4t4t and the group date activities they do are petty crime sprees,meme challenges to post on Margo's and Miles' tiktok,beach days in matching diy'd spidersuit themed swimsuits that blend in through superhero logic,arcade trips and a cat cafe on Earth 22191 that includes Aibo cats(interdimentional differences are freaky,right?)

[starvity]

hi! i love your writing, im so shocked to find someone with the same ults as me ^ i was hoping you could maybe write a protective gunwook scenario? the idea of him always thinking he needs to protect you from others (even when he is a little scared himself,) is rlly heart wrenching.

like !;!!,!,! imagine him pulling you behind him slightly with a serious voice but you can feel him shaking a bit. 🥹 hes too precious rlly we dont deserve him.

— ☆ follow your steps

gn!reader x zb1 gunwook

genre: angst, student!au, fluff?, gunwook and you as the popular class presidents // warnings: bullying, blood, violence, jealousy

author’s note: i was originally going for a happy ending because angst makes me feel so bad but no i like to make us (yes, myself included...) suffer today :D (you'll be fine) also omg ult twins!!!! you’ve got insane taste btw hehe <3 (★ω★)/ [requested♡]

gunwook and you were two of the most popular students in the entire school. you two being the two class presidents, you can often be seen together to work on projects or just share ideas on future plans to improve your lifestyle. it had started with a pure academic motive. meeting up after classes at the library to talk about the recent complains from the students and how you could find a solution to those. after a few weeks though, you found it less and less of a burden to stay late at school and, if you dare to say, you were excited to do your duty as a model student simply and solely to spend some time with gunwook.

and the other students were quick to catch up that maybe you two had become much closer than expected and let's say people were not very happy about it. you were aware of how popular you were just by counting how many love letters would be squished in your locker on valentine's day and how many students would wait for gunwook to clean the classroom until sometimes 5 or 6 to hand them a cheap snack and hearing a few words from him, a simple hello and thank you. and you hated how that popularity made all your relationships feel fake and forced. but when you were with gunwook, everything felt so light and casual. for the very first time, you felt like you didn't need to keep a facade and felt like you could finally be yourself.

gunwook was already waiting for you at the quiet and empty library as he had finished his classes earlier than you. he took the chance to grab a drink for both of you, thinking that it could maybe cheer you up after this long day. gunwook noticed that you still hadn't arrived after 20 minutes and assumed that you were probably talking to your teacher or helping your friends with their assignments like you usually do. therefore, he starts working, his glasses resting on the tip of his nose, almost sliding off. his chin was placed on the palm of his hand, his index occasionally taping his upper lip and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. almost 45 minutes since your class ended and you still were nowhere to be seen. the boy starts to get worried and he goes looking for you, considering that a walk around the school would also empty his mind a bit.

"i already told you we are just friends, nothing else" you state firmly, glaring at the group of students circling you. the girl in front of you, who seemed to be the "leader" of the crowd steps on your foot, lasers shooting through her eyes. you wince in pain but keep your composure and replies calmly "have you maybe considered that your terrible attitude might be the reason gunwook doesn't want to have anything to do with you, with all of you guys? he wouldn't even befriend and even less date any of you guys." you suddenly feel a boy grab your hair from your right while another person twists your arm from your left. despite the pain you keep your head up, smirking at her while some blood from the punches received earlier was staining your lips "and what if we were more than that?" her eyes turn dark and you know you're about to receive either a slap or a punch, or worse, in the next 5 seconds.

but those 5 seconds were enough for gunwook to find you and quickly stand between you two. he takes a glance at you from over his shoulder and his heart aches seeing the state they left you in. he orders them to leave you alone with a shaky voice but the only response is a couple of chuckles. all of a sudden, the crowd takes a few steps ahead, slowly closing the gap between you. gunwook takes your hand in his, he was trembling and he could barely murmur a sorry with the tears building in his eyes. and the boy had never felt so much shame and disappointment in himself before this moment when he understood that he won't be able to protect you this time.

[jj-5656]

First Impressions With; James Potter (Marauders)

A/N: Holy shit, hello again. Been a damn minute, six month hiatus yet again. First semester of college kicked my ass, but I can’t get this idea out of my head lately. To anyone who reads and even enjoys, please leave a comment. I love any and all feedback. Missed you guys, sorry I was MIA. :)

Summary: The one where you finally confront the egotistical chaser for Gryffindor, and realize things aren’t always as they seem. 

TW: Descriptions of assault, attempted assault, ect. It’s lengthy asf apologies in advance

       James Potter is undoubtedly the most insufferable, pompous, self-absorbed asshole to ever grace Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 

You’re sure of it. 

At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself as you grip the chilled glass of firewhisky between Lilly and Marlene. Watching the raven-haired boy amongst his friends in the Gryffindor common room. It’s a fairly relaxed night, you’d save the real partying for the weekends. Though you’d all survived a particularly difficult potions exam, and found it more than enough means to celebrate with a small get-together. There isn't much to worry about when it came to drinking under school-roof. Seeing as your prefect was one of the many students indulging in the nights activities, nursing his own glass along his friends. Remus is a sandy-haired, soft spoken student you’ve come to know through Lily and Marlene. 

It’s a wonder he even gives the rambunctious Potter the time of day, let alone choose to call him a friend. 

“Head boy, can you believe they’ve considered appointing him head boy for next year? James Potter, having authority over even the prefects, what a load of crap.”

“He’s not that bad, he’s actually quite pleasant at times.” You shoot a look to your redheaded best friend, who’d see the good in even the worst of people. 

“Respectfully, Lilly, if I were to maliciously pour this drink onto your lap, you’d forgive me in a millisecond. I don’t necessarily trust your character judgement.”

“Ever the dramatic, y/n. And I’d forgive you because I love you, but not after ‘accidentally’ spilling my drink on you.” She kisses the crown of your head cheekily before grabbing you and Marlene’s empty glasses, seeking to refill them. You wave her affection off despite the blush of your cheeks. 

And then Potter says something that catches your attention almost instantly. 

“Where do you think the lonely bloke is now? Probably in his dorm, moping about like always.” The fellow sixth year seems to have had half a glass too many, sudden passionate disdain for the Slytherin hadn’t been a topic the entire night. 

“You a fan of his, Potter?” You snap from the couch across him, catching the attention of the burly kid and his friends. The alcohol in your system also the cause of such an abrupt remark.

“Sorry?” He asks through a half-hearted laugh, incredulous gaze revealing the intense hazel in his eyes you hadn’t noticed before. 

“Are you a fan, would you like an autograph or something? I only ask because he’s almost all you talk about. And you can’t seem to leave him alone.” Marlene straightens beside you, sharing a confused look with the rest of the boys sat beside James. Who quirks his head at your irritated tone. 

“And you are?” 

“Tired of your bullshit, leave the kid alone.” You’ve honestly been waiting for give the Chaser a piece of your mind since you saw him trip the sullen Slytherin in the library. You hate a bully, and you’d be damned to stand by and watch. Not to mention his incessant pestering of your kind-hearted best friend, who returns to you with full glasses and a stern look pointed your way. You ignore her silent disciplining, too enveloped in your staring match with the boy opposite you. 

“Just a bit of fun, love. Nothing to get upset about.” Sirius, another acquaintance through your girlfriends, attempts to ease the tension. Setting a hand on James’ tensing shoulder. 

“I don’t think he’s having much fun. Seems a bit one sided if you ask me.”

“But we didn’t. Ask you, I mean.” You cock your head, pleasantly surprised at Potter’s wit. Having mistaken him for the dumb on the spot type.

Maybe it’s not your business, maybe your actions are making an enemy for no reason. But you know the likes of James Potter.Coming from a wealthy, well-known wizard family. And Snape, who was a half-blood, and not a wealthy one at that. At least, you’d assumed from his hand-me-down robes and unkept clothes on the train your first year at Hogwarts. He’d confided in Lily a couple times, and from what you could understand he was simply a quiet boy who was terribly misunderstood. Being a half-blood yourself, you’d fallen victim to some snotty comments from other students. And if Potter’s quarrel with the boy was due to his status and lack of pure-blood, you wouldn’t dare let him get away with it. 

“Maybe we should head up to the dorm-” Marlene starts before James interjects. 

“Nonsense, we were just leaving. Have a wonderful rest of your night Marlene, Lills, and-” He pauses, eyes narrowing in silent challenge. 

“Y/n.” You deadpan, pretending not to notice the anxious expressions of the boy’s friends and those of your own beside you. 

He hums, giving you a once over before finishing the remaining contents of his glass in an embellished swoop. Setting it down with an intensity that makes Remus cringe. “Y/n.” He tests the word on his lips, tongue running over his teeth with a vexed smirk. “Pleasure, truly.” 

“I’m sure.” You quip instantly, taking a particularly large sip of your own drink and tilting your glass in farewell. He scoffs, turning on his heel and heading to the boys’ dormitory without another word. 

“Alright, what the fuck was that?” Dorcas accuses, having silently entered the room amongst the commotion. Her astonishment pulls a laugh from you, and Lilly’s eyes widen tenfold.

“Laughing, she’s laughing? Merlin, you amaze me!” 

“I’m right, aren’t I? He’s mean to that poor boy for no reason. He’s pompous Lilly, thinks he’s better than some of us for being muggle-born. I wont tolerate it.”

“Has he said that? Has he personally told you that?”

“Doesn’t have to.” You cross your arms, defensive.” She only throws her arms up in exasperation as you begin to aid Marlene in cleaning up the room. 

“He’s a bit messy as well.” The dark-haired girl holds up his empty glass, biting back a smile when Lilly smacks her palm to her forehead, exasperated. 

***********

   You’re at an actual party this time when you interact with James Potter again. 

Ravenclaw is hosting after a successful round of midterms has finished. You can finally shake the mid-semester stress away and enjoy yourselves for the few days break you receive from classes. It took longer than expected to enter the house’s commons. Sirius had reassured you all he knew the riddle to get inside, until he in fact, did not know the riddle, and you were all left coughing through a fit of charmed smoke. Until a a soft-spoken second year, no less, walked by and allowed the group of you in. 

“Beautiful, you’ve just earned yourself a glass of firewhisky, love.” Sirius yelps when Remus smacks him upside the head, watching as the younger student slips past the rest of you, past the celebratory atmosphere and straight to the dorms. The common room has been charmed to prohibit any students younger than sixth years of entering, thank Merlin. 

Those from their respective houses usually enter these parties together, so you’re unfortunately grouped in with the marauders. Including James, who avoids any and all eye contact with you. Both of you sporting deep scowls until you’re finally able to disperse. Most older Hufflepuffs are already there, and Slytherin is the last to enter. Waltzing in with bottles of alcohol they most definitely wont share, contrary to the generosity of the other houses. Who all usually trade bottles of their specialty drinks to one another. 

“I’m gonna grab a drink, what do you guys want?” You shout over the music and boisterous laughter emanating from the room, admiring the bronze and blue decorum of the foreign commons. Theres a universal “surprise me” from your girlfriends, and you head off to the drink table with a curt nod. There’s an array of liquors and mixers on the table, and you survey the options before deciding on a simple handful of Hog’s Head brews. 

“I don’t take a girl like you to be so keen of draft beer.” Noah Lyre, a stalky seventh year smiles wickedly beside you. Like most Slytherins, a hint of judgement in his tone. “Here, try some of this, my own concoction.” 

“I’m alright, thanks.” You offer a tight-lipped smile, nose scrunching from the bitter smell emanating from the shiny black flask from even a foot away. He takes a step closer, to which you raise your brows. 

“I insist, you’ve got to at least try it.” He moves the flask toward you once more. To which you stick your hand out, irritated with his wandering eyes and unwavering persistence. 

“I said I’m good, thanks.” Is all you say before side-stepping his towering figure and heading back toward your friends. Passing out their respective drinks and taking a few gulps of yours, attempting to brush the creepy interaction off. 

“Everything alright?” Marlene leans close so you can hear her, you offer a reassuring smile and a quick nod. 

“I think this is the part where you ask Sirius to dance, considering he’s been eyeing you since we got here.” You tease, Lilly and Dorcas following your eyes across the room where the marauders are settled. Sharing a round of shots and shaking their heads to rid themselves of the bitter taste. Marlene steps forward at Dorcas’ shoving, shooting the three of you a half-assed glare before headed toward the boys. Amongst them, James hasn’t rid himself of that pitiful look. Wallowing beside his cheerful friends and taking large sips of the drink in hand.You meet his eyes for a split second, heads ripping away from one another’s direction as if the actions singed your skin. 

“Dorcas, look.” Lilly nudges the shorter girl excitedly in the direction of a Hufflepuff on the other side of the room. “It’s that sweet girl from potions who asked me about you, go talk to her!” Dorcas looks terrified, vehemently shaking her head as Lilly grabs her forearm. 

“Absolutely not, I’ll make a fool of myself.” 

“You will not! C’mon, I’ll introduce you.” The red-head beams as she tugs her along. You ignore the burning glare you receive as you ignore her mouthed ‘help me’ as she’s whisked away. 

*******

The atmosphere’s become increasingly chaotic as the night pushes on. You’ve shared a few shots with Marlene and some other acquaintances from your classes. Having just left a rambunctious game of truth or drink before hading into the hall. Not quite near the dormitories, afraid of disturbing any sleeping students, you simply seek a little more quiet. Just near the communal bathrooms, you’re stood admiring a painting of Rowena Ravenclaw. Watching as an eagle swoops by in the background.

“There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you.” You spin on your heel to see Noah, significantly drunker now as compared to his last appearance 

“I think you’ve got the wrong person.” You cross your arms, taking a couple steps back as he stumbles toward you. 

“No, I don’t think so.” He sneers, same lustful eyes raking over your form. You square your shoulders at an attempt to appear bigger than you are, heart racing at the oncoming severity of the situation. He reaches out to play with a strand of your hair and you fight a gag at the overwhelming smell of liquor leaking from his pores. 

“My friends will be wondering where I am, see you around.” You force out, attempting to shuffle past him when he takes strong hold of your wrist. Grip so tight you lose your breath. He tugs you into his chest, sneering when you struggle in his grasp. 

“Get the fuck off me.” You all but shout, panic shooting through your chest when he backs you into a wall. 

“Where are you going, love? I just got here.” 

“Let me go, I fucking mean it.” You stomp on his foot, crying out when he he pulls you forward and smacks you against the wall. The back of your head coming into contact with the painting. Distantly, you hear the enchanted eagle squeak in surprise. 

Your cries for help are muffled when he wraps his hand around your throat, forcing the air from your lungs as your eyes go wide in terror.

“Just behave, sweetheart. This’ll be so much more enjoyable if you do.” Tears prick at your eyes not only from the inability to breathe but from his revolting words. Faintly, you hear the unclasping of a belt buckle as you writhe and kick with all your might. He’s much larger than you are, though, pressing the force of his entire body weight onto you to cease your fight. With his free hand, Noah enclasps both of your wrists together and forces them above your head and against the cold, hard stone. You feel his lips graze your jaw as bile rises in your throat, mentally preparing for whats to come next before he’s suddenly ripped off of you. 

You collapse to the floor, clutching your throat and gasping for air. The room spins, and you shake your head to come to your senses. It’s dark in this hall, but it’s clear whoever has the Slytherin blonde in his grasp is severely beating the shit out of him. You stumble to your feet, wiping the blurred moisture from your eyes to gather yourself. It’s then you realize the identity of the assailant. Unmistaking the familiar head of dark curls and tall, brooding figure. 

James. Fucking. Potter.

Potter, landing blow after blow, doesn’t stop his assault even as blood (and what looks like a couple teeth) spews from Noah’s mouth.

You try to speak, but your own voice fails you. Strained and cracking from the pressure it’s been under. You cough, trying again with your hands out in front of you. 

“J-James!” Is all you manage, croaked and unfamiliar to your ears. It’s the first time you’ve ever voiced his first name aloud. This must stun him, too, because he pauses his assault to look over his shoulder at you. Noah groans underneath him, and the disheveled Gryffindor spits on the floor next to him in utter disgust. There’s a final blow to his head that makes you wince, and Noah’s out cold. 

James stands, wobbling for just a moment before he straightens. Rolling his neck in a slow circle, strained with effort. You take in his sharp, handsome features, still in pure shock. He takes in your trembling form and immediately snaps his head away. You quirk a brow, confused when he shakes his jacket off his shoulders and holds it out to you. Only when you look down do you realize your blouse has been torn. Quickly taking the fabric and wrapping it around your shoulders with deep embarrassment and misplaced shame. 

Silently, James uncuffs his sleeves and rolls them up toward his elbows. “I’m gonna kill him,” he grabs the unconscious boy by the collar and pulls his arm back to lay yet another punch before you stop him. Hands clasped around his veined forearm and pulling it down. 

“You’ll be expelled!”

“Fuck’s that matter?”

“You’re not thinking straight, look at him. He’s out, he wont be getting up any time soon. It’s fine, it’s over”

“It’s not fine. Nothing about this is fine.” He’s hot with anger, running a hand through his tousled hair and grimacing at the pain that shoots through up his arm. 

“Your hands.” You whisper, to which the boy surveys his own handiwork, covered in blood and cut up from his own rings. He shrugs, eyes narrowing as he notices the uncontrollable trembling of the appendages. You reach out to touch them, but he pulls away. Afraid of any further pain. You pull your hands to your chest, shocked at the red marks already forming all over your wrists. 

“You alright?” He mutters, tone softer than you’ve ever heard before. It’s odd, the sudden quiet of it all. Only the muffled music from the common room to be heard in the background. 

“Better off than him, I suppose.” You make a meek attempt at a joke, nudging the bloodied boy on the floor with your foot. 

To your surprise, three Slytherin boys scurry into the hallway. Stopping short in their tracks with mouths open wide. James steps in front of you without a second thought, wiping the excess blood onto his trousers and nodding his head toward the unconscious kid in front of him. 

“Get him out of my fucking sight.” The trio doesn’t speak, shuffling into action the instant he finishes the command. It’s a struggle for them to lift up the dead weight, but they move fast enough after James releases an exasperated sigh. Right as they exit, James’ friends and your own stop dead in their tacks, trying to process all they’ve just seen. In the other room, the music cuts short, you and James both pull a face in understanding. This’ll be the talk of the school for the next week. 

“We should go. All of us.” Remus announces, the rest of you nod. Your friends are on you in an instant, tugging the jacket tighter around you and checking your body for further injury. You let them hover, knowing they must be in almost as much shock as you. It’s a wordless shuffle back to the dorms, the boys ensuring their bodies shield your own as you make your way through the halls. You separate when you reach the common room of Gryffindor, and James is the last pair of eyes you meet with before sulking into your respective dorms. 

It’s only when you reach your bed do you allow yourself to be overcome with sobs. The weight of all thats happened collapsing in on you. All the girls can do is stroke your hair and whisper idle reassurances. When you finally relax a little, Marlene waves her wand over your head. Casting a peaceful sleep spell to get you through the night. 

**********

   Taking the steps up into the boy’s dormitory has your heart racing. The memories of last night never having left your mind. Despite the lingering, slight hangover you’re fighting, the only real evidence of the assault is the bruising on your neck and wrists, faded now that Lilly’s cast a charm on them. The deep, purple marks, and the whispers of fellow students. Unsurprisingly, word got out about what happened, and there’s been a lot of stares. After a concise meeting with McGonagall, Noah’s been expelled. You overhear in a hushed conversation between a few third-years that he’d walked out of his dorm with his belongings in hand, head hanging low to conceal the developing shiners on his face. A few slow, deep breathes, to ground yourself before knocking on the door. 

It’s Sirius who answers, offering the same sympathetic gaze you’ve been receiving all morning. 

“Hey, love.” He offers simply, studying your anxious form. 

“Hi, I didn’t mean to bother you guys I just...” You fumble over words despite having rehearsed this scenario a million time in the past hour. “I just wanted to return this to James, he lent it to me last night. I also never got to thank him, so please extend my gratitude when you see him.” You extend your arms, offering him the fabric in hand. Expecting him to accept it and bid you farewell. Cringing when you think you sound too formal and, well, rehearsed. 

“Nonsense, you can tell him yourself when he comes back. He was called to Dumbledore’s office but he should be back any minute.” He reads your sullen expression at the mention of potential discipline for an incident he didn’t have to get involved in, but he waves his hand dismissively. 

“Dumbledore knows what happened, might revoke a few points form Gryffindor but Prongs won’t be punished. It was self defense, really.” The raven haired boy comes to realize rambling on about the traumatic events are most likely not what you need to hear right now, so he clears his throat and smiles once again. Sirius Black, of course, does the complete opposite of what you’d expect him to do. Stepping aside to welcome you in. “Come in, come in, Remus just started a pot of tea.”

“Oh, no, thank you. I didn’t mean to intrude I just meant to drop this off and-” 

“Please, we insist. Besides, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

“You have?”

“Of course.” There’s a few beats of silence, and you accept the cup of tea Remus offers with a kind smile. Feeling utterly undeserving of such gestures due to your last interaction. Sirius, realizing he’s supposed to be leading the conversation, then continues...

“I simply need to get to know any girl who can make Prongs speechless. And you did, in the common room the other night.”

“About that, I just wanted to apologize. I think I gave off the wrong impression and-”

“You can’t be serious, we loved it!” Sirius interrupts passionately. 

“It was a little harsh, sure.” Remus translates for his dear friend, as usual. Albeit true. James can come off a little...” He searches for the appropriate words, handing Sirius a steaming cup as he continues. “...Brooding, at times. But he means well. He has a good heart, just a little ‘do before you think or say’ kind of guy.”

“So I’ve noticed.” You joke, not unkind.

“See! That there. You’re quite witty, and fiery as well. James needs that in his life!” Your eyes widen at his presumption, Remus winces. 

“What he means to say, is James is quite stubborn. And doesn’t always listen to us when we try to nudge him in the right direction.” The lanky boy recovers, not before shooting Sirius a look. 

“And I do?” You laugh, amused at the absurdity of such a notion. 

“Yes.” They chime in unison, Sirius delighted in the abashed heat that singes your skin. He grips the chair in front of you, and you suddenly feel very small in their kitchenette of their dorm. 

“Prongs, James, is not silenced very often, if at all. He was mute for like, two whole days after your little argument in commons.” 

“Right.” You mutter, shame heavy in your tone. “I see now it was a bit, bitchy of me.” The two are a little taken aback by your language, though you continue anyway. “I didn’t have all the details about the situation. I just felt I had to say something...My mom’s a muggle, and I don’t know. I got defensive at the notion that he was the type of person to see her as less because she isn’t a witch. I made an assumption, a wrong one at that, and I feel terrible about it. Especially after last night.” Keys clatter as you finish, and you’re stunned to see James at the doorway, having heard your entire spiel. 

“Oh, hey” You mutter plainly, horribly embarrassed. 

“Hello.” James swallows, fiddling with the worn wrap covering his hand. “Does it hurt much?” 

“Sorry?”

“The bruising,” he motions to his neck in reference to yours, and you realize Lilly’s charms have completely worn off now. You caress the tender skin with a wince, smiling softly in reassurance to the concerned looks it earns. You take out your wand, aiming to perform the spell once again before James shakes his head. “Don’t. You shouldn’t have to hide what happened. He should live with the shame. Should have kept hitting the bastard.” He mutters the last part to himself, fist closing tightly and then releasing, jaw tensing as he recalls the conflict. 

“I think he got the message, Prongs.” Remus mumbles idly. James only shakes his head, clearing his throat and once again fiddling with the wraps around his hand. 

“You should probably change those. Here, let me help.” You get up from your seat, surprising even yourself as you approach the much taller boy. opening the discarded first aid kit strewn on the kitchen counter, they must have left it out in last  night’s commotion. 

“It’s fine, really. I’ve had worse.” James tries to pull away but you grab his arm and bring it toward you. Eyes full of such sincerity the boy finds his mouth has gone dry. He hadn’t noticed how bad the bruising was until now. Up this close, he can see the discoloration shaping out where Noah’s fingers were. It makes his stomach turn, flashes of the image forever ingrained in his mind. He can only imagine how it must be for you. And despite your strained relationship, James Potter comes to the conclusion that he’s been awfully concerned over your well-being the past 24 hours. 

“Please, it’s the least I can do.” Silently, you unravel the fraying wrap from his hands. 

“You know it’s against school policy, James. Laying your hands on another student. I should expel you.”

“Professor-”

“No matter, I understand the reason behind your actions. While I won’t tolerate any more violence on your behalf, I think you did what was...necessary.” 

James only nods, eager to go back to his dorm hide under his duvet. It’s all been so overwhelming. The stares, the whispers, the shaky feeling he’s had all say. Knowing you must be experiencing it tenfold. 

“Now, please Mr. Potter, straight to your dormitory. And try and look as though I’ve actually disciplined you.”

James snaps out of his thoughts when you flinch. In his daze, he’d reached out toward your neck. And although you’re certain he’d never harm you, you’ve been avoiding any physical touch since the incident. 

“Sorry, so sorry.” He manages dumbly, avoiding the not so subtle gawking of his friends. They know the boy better than himself, and know when he’s smitten over someone. Fuck, had he really just thought that? 

“It’s alright. I’m still a little jumpy I guess.” You say plainly, not quite gathering the weight of your words until you notice their collective reactions. You hate it, the pitiful gazes. Looking at you as if one wrong move could break you. 

“Sirius, we have to go do that thing.” Remus grabs the former by his arm, pulling him past you and James and toward the door. Sirius, still staring at the pair of you, clutches onto any furniture that will halt his friends actions. 

“No, there is nowhere we need to be, I’m perfectly fine right here!” He shouts in a panic, seemingly enamored with the two of you. 

“It’s very urgent, the thing we need to do. See you both at dinner.” Remus hurries his farewell, tugging a pouting, squirming Sirius all the way. 

“It was just getting good!” You hear from down the hall before James shuts the door with his foot. 

“What’s gotten into them?” 

“You should know they are almost always that insufferable.” James deadpans, though there’s a faint fondness in his tone. You know he loves them much more than he’d like to admit. It’s endearing. You've just referred to James Potter as endearing...What a bizarre 24 hours. 

“I don’t think I’ve said thank you yet.” You laugh, despite the absurdity of it all. 

“No need to thank me.” He only shakes his head, watching as you pour a small container of bewitched ointment onto a cotton ball. It smells strongly of herbs and peppermint, and the muscled, supposedly tough sixth year pulls his hand away before you can dab it onto his knuckles with a small grunt.

“C’mon, I haven’t even started.” It’s the first time in a while he’s seen you genuinely smile since everything happened. You like to tease James Potter, and he likes it too. 

“Smells awful, I’ll get Remus to find a healing spell.” 

“You need topical medicine, not a spell that will ware off.” You tug at his arm once again, both shocked at the force of it, so strong he has to take a step forward. Close enough to feel the warmth emanating from you. He’d probably be able to smell your hair too, if the horrid ointment was capped. He’s once again taken aback by his own longing thoughts. Just two days ago, Potter considered you an enemy. 

He sucks his teeth when you begin to apply the medicine, doing your best to be gentle. You pause, waiting for his signal to continue. 

“Didn’t tell me it was gonna sting.”

“Would you have let me put it on if I did?” You shoot him that incredulous look again, and James has to bow his head so he can manage to speak. You’re much too intense for him to bear, he thinks. And he then understands how much trouble these feelings will get him in. 

“There is a need. To thank you, I mean.” Unable to control the shudder of your shoulders when he releases a deep, pained breath from your work. Hoping he hasn’t noticed. 

“Y/n, I already said-”

“James,” There’s his name on your lips again. And it seems the two of you recognize its foreign nature once more. “If you hadn’t stepped in he could have-” You stop yourself, swallowing hard to fight the nausea. “You and I both know what could have happened. I didn’t...I haven’t taken that gesture lightly. Let me appreciate that.” You’re stern albeit no less kind as you begin to re-wrap his knuckles. Skin grazing his as you go. He’s silent, staring so reverently it takes your breath away. “Thank you.”

“Welcome.” He whispers, and you swear you see. For only a millisecond, James Potter’s eyes avert to your lips. And you think he might kiss you. And you think you might want him to. He pushes a strand of hair from your face, leaning even closer to you. You blink, slow with a reminder breathe, as you realized you hadn’t been the last few seconds. His hand trails down to your jaw, gently tilting your head up toward him. You let your lids closing, awaiting his lips on yours at any moment.

“We should put ice on it.”

“What?” Your eyes shoot open, and James has just most definitely fucked that up.

“Your neck. There could be swelling.”  He attempts to caress the skin there, but you step back, ears burning hot with embarrassment. Why did you think he was gonna kiss you, why did you want him to?

“Oh, sure. Right.” You watch as he fumbles about to the fridge, grabbing an ice pack and wrapping it in a paper towel before outstretching his hand toward you. Internally cringing when you take et instead of allowing him to place it on you. Merlin, I’m an idiot.

“Dinner. We should go eat.” You collect yourself, moving toward the door when James nods hurriedly. 

“Right, dinner. I’m starving, actually” He fumbles horribly, wincing at the crack in his voice. “I’ll meet you down there.” You nod, reaching for the door when he stops you. 

“Y/n?” You halt instantly, turning on your heel in hopes you haven fucked up as royally as you assume. The chaser scratched the back of his neck with a pained smile. “Thank you for returning the jacket. And, uh.” He gestures with his hands in reference to the bandaging. All you manage is a tight-lipped smile. And he swears he sees a hint of moisture pricking at your eyes, mouth agape to say something, anything. But you’re out the door before he can even blink. Not hearing the flood of curses escaping his mouth after kicking the kitchen bin in a fit of anger, clutching the now throbbing foot and hopping around the room like the bumbling idiot he is. 

***********

Dinner is weird. Really weird. Sirius insists you and your girlfriends sit with the marauders. Taking you by the shoulders and sitting you right beside a silent James. Marlene and Lilly were delighted, having always wanted to sit by the boys. Though with your not-so-secret disdain for Potter had always made meals a little weird before. You’d talk mostly to Dorcas, who was always eager for good conversation if it meant she could listen and not have to talk as much as you did. You understood her quiet nature more than the other girls, and often borrowed whatever book she’d be willing to lend you in leu of shared analysis. 

But now, Dorcas was looking between you and James with a shit-eating smirk. Much like that of Remus beside her, who pretended to be more interested in the book in hand rather than the two in front of him. Pushing the food around on their plate idly, whatever bites taken were chewed slow and with deep thought. 

“This is nice,” Sirius chimes cheekily. “All of us, eating together. I think we’ve found ourselves an established group. Don’t ya think, Prongs?” 

“What?” The boy voices beside you, much too loud to be appropriate. You’re both still getting stares from some of your peers. Although most of the buzz of what’s happened having worn off, now you’re seen sitting right beside one another. Bandages and all. 

A couple of Slytherin girls make their gossip particularly obvious across the room, one of them pointing at you as the rest giggle along. You sink impossibly closer into your seat. 

“Ignore them.” James mutters, practically seething as he stares them down. “They have half a mind to start double checking the locks on their doors. Seeing as that’s the type of boys they have lingering about in their house.” He finishes dryly, doing a double take when he finally glances your way. Fists clenched in rage once more as you blink away tears. 

“He’s gone now, for good.” Marlene reassures, flicking Sirius on the forehead when he does little to conceal his searching of your teary eyes. 

“How’s it feel, the bruising. You think the ice helped any?” James asks for what is likely the tenth time since you’ve sat down. Gently knocking your arm away that tries to stop him from taking hold of your chin. Surveying the discolored skin with a deep frown. 

“Probably in the same condition as it was ten minutes ago. And the ten minutes before that.” Black deadpans, yelping when Lily kicks his shin from under the table. Smiling sweetly when you and James jerk your heads toward the commotion. 

“Let’s change topics, yeah? Remus, how’s that book you’re reading there.” The sandy-haired boy is mid bite when she asks, mortified all the attention has turned to him. 

“Lovely,” is all he manages, swallowing thickly. 

“I’m gonna head up to bed.” You announce, tossing your napkin onto your barely touched plate of food with a feigned smile. They all straighten, offering a chorus of soft- spoken ‘goodnights’ as you rise from your seat. 

“I’ll come with you.” Lilly moves to get up, but you wave your hand. 

“No need, I’ll manage. See you up there.” You gather your things before heading toward the large doors of the great hall. Pulling up the collar of your dress shirt as you feel a few pairs of eyes follow you. 

James scrambles from the table without a word, hot on your heels as you both exit. 

“Y/n, wait up. Y/n!” You cease your movements, so sudden James has to steady himself on your shoulders. You look around, glaring at a few fourth years as they gawk at you. Whispering all the way. You pul your shoulder back to leave his grasp, guilt overcoming you when a flash of hurt overcomes his features. 

“People are watching, Potter.” You mutter, paranoid eyes darting around you. James stiffens, pained by your sudden formalities. 

“So what? Let them say whatever they’re gonna say. We know what happened.” He crosses his arms, brows taught with tension. 

“It’s not that easy for me.” You defend, fiddling with your collar once again. 

“I told you to stop covering that,” James reaches out to adjust the fabric himself. Further irritated when you pull his hand away. 

“They aren’t going to spin this on you, James. You don’t understand.”

“I don’t understand, I think I’m well aware of whats gonna happen. This is all gonna blow over, and this school will be better off without that piece of shit.” 

“No!” You blench at your own volume, shaking your head before continuing. “You want to know what they’ll say Potter? That I asked for it.” James steps back, disgusted at the notion. 

“Why on Earth would they say that?”

“Because that’s what some people say to make themselves feel safer, it’s easier to blame me than him.” You shrug, throat tightening at the realization. 

“Where’s this coming from?”

“There was a note, in the girls lavatory. Dorcas tried to throw it away so I wouldn’t see but, I did.” James studies your face, awaiting you to continue with soft eyes. “Some Slytherins are saying I made it up, since Noah’s such a good Quidditch player, was gonna be captain next year.”

“Good at Quidditch player, he’s a beater thats hit three of his teammates because he can’t aim.” It forces a strained chuckle from you, and you only shake your head. 

“Doesn’t matter James, they’re saying I got him expelled for Gryffindor’s team because we’re-” You stop yourself, somehow even more uncomfortable. 

“We’re what?” He cocks his head when you motion between yourselves, sighing at his confusion. 

“That we’re together, James.” 

“Oh.” He scratches his nose, shuffling through the beats of awkward silence. 

“Yeah.” 

“Well it’s all bullshit, why are you letting it get to you?” You practically draw in on yourself at his words, fresh tears begging to escape your eyes at his unbeknownst cruelty. 

“Right, it’s all bullshit. You’re right, I should just let it go. We can get back to our normal routines and everyone will see it isn’t true.” You attempt to turn away from him, but he grabs the fabric of your robes. 

“I’m sorry,” he laughs despite himself. “Am I missing something here?”

You falter, opening your mouth to respond but not quite sure what to say. He looks genuinely distressed, and you make one last attempt at extending an opportunity. “I don’t know, are you?” He’s silent, searching your face for answers you can’t give him. Panicking at the though of losing contact despite all you’ve been through. 

“Did you mean what you said about me. In the dorms.” 

“James, I told you-”

“No, you didn’t. Do you really believe I think you’re less than me because you’re a half-blood? You really think that matters to me?”

“No, not anymore, anyway.” James smirks, stepping closer when your brows furrow in confusion at his sudden mood change. 

“So I’m not as pompous as you thought I was?”

“You most definitely have a big ego, Potter.” 

“That’s not what I asked.” He takes your jaw in his hold, eyebrows raised in teasing inquiry. You lick your lips, swallowing thickly and avoiding his eyes. 

“What d’you think they’d all say if I kissed you, then?” You almost cough, choking on your own saliva at his words. The cheeky bastard just keeps smiling, basking in your flushed demeanor. 

“Oh eat slugs, Pott-” Your interrupted with his lips on yours, lifting off of your heels to make it easier for him. James, insufferable as always, is grinning the entire time. 

“Yes! He made the first move, Remus. You owe me two galleons-” Sirius is cut off by his own whimper. What must be the lot of your spying friends shoves him into the hallway so he’s the only one caught, in which he stands speechless under your glares. 

“A sweet little first year lost her cat, you guys seen it by any chance? No matter, I’ll keep looking for it. Bloody kids always losing their pets.” And Sirius, the dope that he is, begins to make kissing noises in a meek attempt at recovery. Feigned grumbles of “here, kitty.” Echo down the hallways before you hear his fleeting footsteps. 

You press your forehead into James’ chest, utterly embarrassed and admittedly exhausted. What a bizarre 24 hours

[mystreet-liveblog]

Its not even the voices Aphmau needed to do in early seasons. I just have troubles where I take shows really seriously, so the no warning / no consent kissing or the people trying to find out everything about Aphmau's love life is just frustrating for me.

Autistic people taking things too seriously, what else is new?

I hear that, I too have the “tism”

But on the rewatch I kind of read it differently. It makes sense that Aph’s friends would be concerned about her love life since she hasn’t been interested in anyone since high school, her mom is notorious for hating boys, and half her male friends have crushes on her and she doesn’t reciprocate any of them. It’s an interesting situation and I know I’d be concerned, especially if I was Katelyn or KC

Katelyn sees Aph as a sister and knows that she’s had bad experiences with boys in the past (Gene and Ein, though I haven’t gotten to Ein in the rewatch yet so I may be misremembering some details) so of course she’d be suspicious of Laurance and the others across the street, Aaron who’s super suspicious and used to be a bully, and Zane who is literally Zane hahah

Meanwhile, KC is obsessed with shipping and she stands as an outlier who actively analyzes relationships and pairs them together in her mind as possible relationships, with her favorites being expressed more openly and verbally like a hyperfixation. It’s problematic but also not unheard of, and I can relate to analyzing your friends and deducing their compatibility (though not so much pressuring them into pursuing that compatibility :/). In the end she just wants to see all her friends happy, and she projects her own love of romantic love onto them

(KC actually reminds me a bit of Nepeta from Homestuck but that’s a conversation for a different day)

I do think the lack of consent coming from Laurance and his roommates is very weird and disturbing, but the conscious narrative seems aware that it’s problematic while the subconscious narrative plays it off as a joke. It’s not really that funny, but I guess that’s just part of the anime tropiness of the season.

The entire show, or at least the first seasons of MyStreet and PDH, was made to feel anime tropey and unfortunately that kind of nonconsensual humor is very anime. It’s a little nuanced tho that the rest of the show explores the “after they get together” situations rarely seen in romance anime, though, as well as abandoning the nonconsensual humor in favor of villainizing it and using it to characterize antagonists (sorry Laurance fans your fav is problematic <3)

I actually kind of realized through my rewatch that Laurance was the main instigator of these inappropriate actions and it’s really his own problem to work through. The rest follow him with the frat boy mindset and only come to their senses when actually thinking on their own lol

Like, I remember as a kid there being so many jokes about Travis touching peoples butts, but as far as I remember from my rewatch they were all accidents! That’s kind of funny actually! But the normalization of predatory behavior is very weird in S1 and I’m glad it’s gone in S2

In PDH S1, it’s only slightly justified by the students all being literal children who are working through their hormones and poor coping mechanisms. Both Laurance and Garroth kiss Aphmau without her consent and then swear her to secrecy, which is toxic as hell and its protrayed as such. Gene even threatens to kiss her in front of Aaron which is a whole other thing we don’t need to discuss at length cause I’m sure you get the point by now

But PDH-Aaron notably asks permission every time he does anything romantic with Aph and it’s sweet. In S1 of MyStreet, he does kiss her after the play without verbal consent, but it’s implied she did at least nonverbally consent in later episodes when discussing what happened. Regardless, that sort of content in S1 isn’t touched upon as the story goes on which makes it a lot better to me, and it shows the growth of the author alongside her characters

WOAH— SORRY FOR THE LONG RESPONSE!!!! I just found this topic interesting!!!! Hope you have fun reading this MOUNTAIN wow—

[finelinepie]

Well I’m sorry your best friend has lied to you about what they’ve done. I’m not pressed at all, it’s her and her friends that are getting pressed since she’s being exposed as the horrible person we’ve seen that she is. You mentioned you’ve known her for almost a year, great, but the bullying of authors took place early last year when she had a Gc of writers gang up on another for simply venting and ranting to her, told them the author was trauma dumping. As well as last August/September when her group attacked the three others resulting in all three authors leaving their platforms and one harmed themselves from the publicly done bullying across private and public x accounts. If you’ve been shown screenshots by her, hate to tell you but she’s not showing you the full truth.

Most importantly Heartateasee has never once apologized to these authors, we don’t even know if these authors still use their accounts or if Heartateasee fully ran them off. All she has done is deny she made anyone harm themselves when plenty saw the proof she did, she’s continuously accused one of the authors she’s targeted as being behind exposing her. Meanwhile there’s been people who choose to stay anonymous due to the level of disgusting behavior we’ve seen in screenshots but there’s also multiple accounts that have been brave enough to comment or reblog her posts instead to speak on how they feel about this. There’s not one thing pointing to any of the victims participating in this, two victims even came out to another tumblr blog to confirm what was being said. Specifically the one who harmed themselves came out to clear their name of Heartateasee’s accusations once they were made aware Heartateasee still is targeting them. Both made it very clear they are not on socials related to the writing community anymore due to Heartateasee.

Heartateasee has said she’s only had issues with one author on X but screenshots of everything paint the picture that it was a group of two authors and then a group of three authors that she bullied. That’s five people in total harmed by this author. That is what we have an issue with. The lies to try and spin this her way are disgusting. She hasn’t apologized or taken any kind of accountability, she instead turns off comments and reblogs preventing people from showing her that it’s multiple people who agree on this issue. Exposing her isn’t harming the victims cause none are even on here to see it. And that’s on Heartateasee because without her those people would probably still be enjoying their hobby of writing.

I stay anonymous because I saw first hand the threat that was sent to Harrysbesti3 for having the screenshots posted. I’m not going to subject myself to any targeted attack by these people so yes I shall remain anonymous for my own safety.

Whether or not they are on socials makes no difference. you are still bringing it up. I don’t know how to make this more clear- BOTH PARTIES HAVE SAID THEY WISH TO BE LEFT ALONE

“I’m not pressed at all” *continues to watch her likes and repost numbers to anonymously message everyone who interacts with her.*

I do wish you’d stop the false claims that she hasn’t apologized, because she has. 2 of them have even said as much.

And here we are 6 months later wanting to see proof to clear up names and y’all still can’t give it. You can stay anonymous. that’s fine. But where is Leigh’s safety concern?? Because she was NOT the one to post that threat. Where is everyone else’s safety that is getting harassed because of your little army of anons? And you don’t know if they see it??? You don’t have their socials?? Then why are you fighting their battles for them??

Leigh has stated multiple times that she is sorry for the way the things happened. she HAS taken accountability for it.

I find it funny that you guys have now been causing Leigh harm longer than the said bullying and harassment of authors XYZ. What you are all doing is bullying and harassment in and of itself. And the anon posts need to stop, now and immediately.

I am letting you know that I have tracked your IP addresses and any and all attempts to remain anonymous are futile.

[elrielffs]

"Well SJM was gonna do Mor and Azriel but changed her mind to make Mor LGBT+ so she can change her mind for Gwynriel!"

I don't think Mor and Azriel were EVER considered to be endgame. If anything, I think it was Cassian and Mor but that was changed when she decided to do Nesta and Cassian instead of Nesta and Lucien.

I think if she WAS planning on Mor and Azriel, she wouldn't change it just to make Mor gay. I think most people agree that it felt shoe horned in and because of that, she could have picked another character to be gay if she wanted. I'm happy there was more rep, but it didn't have to be Mor at the time.

Regardless, it was SJM who wanted to change the pairings. She might have made Mor gay due to backlash from LGBT rep (we'll never know really why), but that was because she already decided Mor was not going to be a love interest for a bat boy not because she decided that Mor was gay and the bat boys were off the table.

Is that what you really want for your ship? To have bullied the author into writing what YOU want? Basically admitting your ship isn't canon but if you make enough noise online SJM will change her mind?? Disregarding all the build up for other characters??

She changed pairings between the first and second book of the series, when it was still in it's infancy. I think in the first ACOTAR book we know that she wasn't really planning to do much with Elain and Nesta (hence their generic evil step sister tropes) and it was only until ACOMaF when she decided to bring the sisters back in that she really planned in depth for them. I think all the build up since then has been locked in. To change now deep into the series on book 5(6?) after all the groundwork she has laid would be horrible fucking bad writing.

This is just a really personal take, but if I was writing a book series, I wouldn't care what the fans want when it comes to major plot points or romance pairings I had in mind. SJM has stated that she has now planned years in advance, up to what the characters kids would look like, if they had any at all. This is SJM's world. She's should write it how SHE wants and luckily, I think she does.

People forget how much the fandom fucking HATED Nesta before ACOSF, like HATED, and definitely didn't ship Nessian (people were theorizing he was gonna end up with Emerie based on a few interactions they had, just like they do with Gywn now) and now half this fandom thinks Nesta can shit on a ladybug and deserves a standing ovation. (I do like Nesta, just FYI, I love all Archeron Sisters, flaws and all) But the point is, people hated Nesta, they were not excited for ACOSF, the did not want Nessian and SJM still wrote it.

P.S. People also hated Rowan and Aelin and thought it was going to be Chaol and Aelin endgame.

[maipareshaan]

Adam Lanza School shooter having dreams about school

-Adam Lanza youtube video (Pointless) CulturalPhilistine The Movie (Part 1/6)

'I . . . I actually have a lot of dreams about school. It’s strange but I still dream about middle school and, well, not my middle school but … I don’t know, I, I always, you know, that sense that you have in a dream when you actually know something, tha-the environment I’m in, I just know it’s middle school or high school or something like that but usually middle school.'

-Adam Lanza Youtube video Strange Dream #1: Beyond Dreams [sic] Door Is Where Horror Lies

Adam Lanza dreams about not doing something he was supposed to do in school and being put in jail. Escaping to be then be put through an obstacle course which he must ride in a tricycle and the person who is most entertaining will be allowed to be free from prison. The crowd is cheering except for one dude who says he sucks. He thinks he is going to win but then wakes up.

Excerpts from the video-

'~Dreamt on the lovely morning of 9/20/2011.

'I just woke up about ten minutes ago and I had a strange dream so I thought I would explain it. The background was basically, long story short was, I was in high school and I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to do and told the authority figures to fuck off and I got imprisoned.'

-Adam Lanza youtube video Strange Dream #2: Which side of the door, again?

He is talking about a dream he had of high school but not his school like a fictional layout of a school, where there was an assembly about how awful he is, he then got bullied by the principal and a teacher. He also is very assertive and defends himseld in the dream. He also takes plans to withdraw but is thwarted and also tries to escape from the school when a teacher starts mocking by being a barrier between him and the door but he is able to get past her and leave school.

Some excerpts from the video-

"~Dreamt on the lovely morning on 10/5/2011. Yes, the principal spoke to me in pseudo-iambic pentameter. Haters be hatin’. I’m back with another strange dream description … although when I woke up, I didn’t think “What did I just dream?” I thought, “That’s exactly how I feel” even though I guess the other one sort of applied in that sense too, but anyway .. . This part of the dream, I didn’t go through, I just knew it has the background. Apparently, I had been at a high school and the previous day there had been a … an assembly about how terrible of . . . [laughter] there’d been an assembly about how terrible of a person that I am. And .. . everything like that and how much everyone should hate me. And so, the next day I came in — into the school of course it, again it wasn’t my real high school, it was a fi-fictional layout along with fictional people. And I went up the stairs thinking how much I hated everything about the placeand entered a hallway, and wouldn’t you know there’s the principal walking down the hallway, he sees me. The principal comes up to me and grabs me and says: “Hi there, Smig,38 I wanna talk to you for a minute.” And I say that I just wanna go to class and I don’t want any trouble. Basically, I was saying that kind of thing. And . . . he said, “No, I wanna know what you thought about yesterday’s assembly?” And I basically expressed that it was . . . just slander and uh . . . that he was just being a jerk. Andhe — and he was saying, “I don’t like your attitude” or something like that; “Why don’t you come with me to my office?” and he was pulling me down the hallway, down to his office where there were some other students and there was a bench and he said, “Wait here, I need to deal with some other students first.” So I waited there, and he went into his office. And I had a short conversation with another student I think, and um, I entered the principal’s office intending to get . . . intending to withdraw immediately and there were a ton of students in there for all manner of reasons. I said to him that I wanted the withdrawal papers because I was going to be leaving that second, and he was mocking me, and he was skirting around the issue."

"So I started running down the hallway, and this is probably one of only . . . maybe at most, five times in my life that I’ve had this happen to me, but I was running in slow-motion trying to get out of there. And there were — at the end of the hallway, there was some teacher opening — holding the door that I could leave out of, open. Trying to mock me. And they were closing it and opening it again and closing it and opening it again..."

"...It’s pretty funny when you think about that dream … you would expect someone of my personality to be dreaming about how horrible … other students were to me and that I was being bull — that I had nightmares about being bullied as a child. But I never was bullied by other students. And in my dream, I had nothing but sympathy for the other students, in real life the bullies are the adults. Who would try to … impose culture?"

"And so of course in my dreams, I have nightmares about things like my parents, or school, or the police, or government, or really anything like that. Anywhere where I’m a child and there are adults around."

-Youtube video 'Done with Youtube'

I’m not lying, I actually do have these dreams, it’s just that the reason I’m posting them at all is not so much as a description of a strange dream as a description of what I feel. And it’s, and about that, it’s not that, I would be fine if one aspect of culture like school were removed. The reason why I have nightmares about school and my parents and all of those things are because they represent what culture is. I’m opposed to all of culture, to the extent that I oppose language itself.

-Youtube video 'Strange Dream #3: .. . Door'

Adam Lanza dreams of getting in trouble at the library, being wrongfully accused bcz he accidentally left with someone else's assignment, being told he is horrible, defending himself, getting beaten then reacting with violence and being told he's a brutish criminal and the he defends himself and rants about how adults are the bullies.

"~Dreamt on the beautifully gloomy afternoon of 10/15/2011. This Strange Dream description series seems to have taken on the form of “this dream I had illustrates how I feel,” which is fine with me because that’s more fun than just strange dream descriptions. Anyway, this dream st-started with me in a secondary school library. I was photocopying or copying something, and it was right before the last class of the day, so I finished what I was doing, and I was about to leave the library, and … I had two homework assignments that I’d completed on the counter in the library. I picked them up and some adult there told me that I couldn’t do that, that I had to — I don’t know what they were telling me to do. And I said, it’s fine, they’re mine, I just need to get to class. And the adult followed me out and halfway through the library they stopped me and a couple of them were inspecting my papers. And it turned out that only one of them was actually mine and one of them belonged to someone else. Heh, this seems to be a recurrent theme but … I can’t remember that actually ever happening in my life, I don’t know why I keep bringing that up. But I guess because it’s a way for them to say “look at how horrible of a person he is” because that’s what they started to say about me.

I said, um, well, I didn’t really say much of anything while they were chastising me, the adults left and came back with a bill. It had included hundreds of dollars for various things like the photocopying but there was a $2,500 fine for … leaving the library without following the proper procedure or something like that. I said how ridiculous it was and I was going to contest it to the best of my abilities and that really riled them up. They started … yelling at me and I eventually just said fuck this, I’m dropping out of school, do whatever you want. I started to get up to leave but one of them chased me and pushed me up against the wall and was screaming at me about how horrible of a person I was. And something I said must’ve provoked them into hitting me in the face because they did that eight times, and after the eighth time I slugged them — I slugged her in the face as hard as I possibly could and she backed off. And … started putting on a show of “oh I was just doing my job and this brutish criminal hit me” and I was saying, I was, I was shouting to everyone in the library: “oh come on, she’s, she hit me in the face eight times and I hit her once, how can you possibly say that I’m the criminal here?” And I put on my Tyler Clementi spiel about adults being the ones who bully children, not other children and I eventually just left the library … and the dream ended shortly after that."

[martiansodas-blog]

Hi I saw that your request are open

Can I request a Pedro pascal x plus!size reader that is an actress and she got the role in the last of us as Theresa/Tess or a made up character and people where really surprised to see her on screen again because when she was working on legacies she got a lot of hatred because of the character she was playing hope mikealson a lot of fans were telling her how she was so fat for the role and how she wasn’t pretty enough to play the main character of the show but she ignored what people said about her and how she looks like so maybe when there in an interview the person asked how she is doing because it seems that the hate comments are back the reader says she’s fine because she delt with the hate comments before and she just ignores them because there opinions don’t matter. all that matters to the reader is her family and friends because in the past she used to struggle with body positivity but she learned how to love herself and other people who are struggling with the same thing can learn how to love themselves like they have permission to love themselves because it doesn’t matter what body shape they are they are still beautiful (maybe the reader can say that or something related to body positivity)( I forgot to add that the reader is Pedro’s wife)

All our bodies

• Pedro Pascal x actress! plus size! reader

• Summary: After taking a few years off acting due to bullying, Pedro’s wife makes a comeback as Tess in TLOU.

• Word count: 543

• Authors note: Im also plus size ◡̈ This was requested months ago… sorry luv. I tried to write on it here and there but I have a full time job and going through relationship problems. You probably won’t see much original content from me for the foreseeable future. There’s just no time.

Xx

“You did a great job, you know that right?”

“I know, but listen. People like Tess, not me. I'm so nervous the media is gonna take one look at me in that interview and go back to treating me like shit.”

Tears began to form in your eyes. Pedro took your face in his hands and stroked your warm cheeks, calming you down.

He loved touching your face like this. It may seem strange but he loved the different textures of it. Your pimples and freckles are a part of you, why would he want to change that? In his eyes there is nothing wrong with you. You’re so unique.

Various social media accounts don’t feel the same. It really angers them that plus size people exist. You’ve never had a controversy, you’ve never wronged anyone in the industry, in fact people adored working with you. But you weren’t the carefully crafted, soft spoken, slim model that others expect. And it offends them.

It offends them that you’re this certain weight and not actively trying to change it. That you’re not ashamed of it. When you were at the height of your fame people accused you of promoting an unhealthy lifestyle. Without you even voicing an opinion on your own body, or showing the meals you eat.

It upset people that you didn’t care about their opinion.

“Anyone who wants to say something negative is gonna have to go through me first, hermosa.”

A smile broke free from your nerves. You stood on your tiptoes and kissed him. You whispered into his mouth,

“I love you”

“I love you too” he whispered back before deepening the kiss.

He put his large hands across the small of your back to pull you closer but you resisted.

“We should stop or you'll be late!”

He cupped your face and kissed you slowly, r eally making you feel the shape of his lips and the sweetness of them.

“It’d be worth it.”

• • •

“Did you feel pressure to change for this role?”

What the interviewer was trying to ask was “did you feel pressure to lose weight for this role?”

It wasn’t a totally preposterous question considering your line of work, but it was still a little invasive.

You thought about Pedro’s words. How he never doubted for a second you would make the perfect Tess.

You got a burst of confidence. You’re going to say how you really feel. The only opinion that was important to you was your lovers.

“What my body looks like always seems to be the topic of conversation, doesn’t it? Not my work or awards, but what I look like.”

The interviewer avoided your eyes, embarrassed.”

“I did my best to honor Tess in this series. To be frank, I don’t think Tess would give a fuck what she looked like. She was focused on being strong and supportive. All our bodies look different but that’s for a reason. What matters most is that you take care of it.”

When you looked over at Pedro he was beaming at you. He was so proud of his Cariño.

“I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for offensive questions.” he said and grabbed your hand to leave the interview.

[whisperingrockandroll]

Ranking Aquato family members by how likely they are to commit tax fraud (least to most)

8 - Razputin Aquato

Of all the members of the Aquato Clan, Raz is currently the only member confirmed to be working for the government. He's the absolute model of a federal employee. The kind of agent they would make naively optimistic 50s movies about. The kind of hero who is everything J Edgar Hoover was not. Honest, caring, loyal, hardworking, excited to chase the call of adventure alongside his heroes, who are also employees of the federal government. He's not a slave to authority, but he could best be described as "Lawful Good" in D&D terminology. As such, Raz would never commit tax fraud. He only wants to help people, rescue their brains, and occasionally commit arson and kill animals. But only when its cool. Also, he hates math.

Likelihood: Never.

7 - Dion Aquato

Dion is a contentious character. Some people hate him because of the way he bullies and insults Raz. Others like him because they see past that and see him as depressed and anxious teenager who's taking his insecurities and pain out on his little brother out of jealousy and the fear of his entire world changing around him. But we're not here to talk about that: we're here to ask if he'd commit tax fraud. The answer is he's simply not smart enough to. We're talking about a guy who heard from his toddler-aged brother that real living human beings reproduced via eggs. He simply isn't smart enough to figure it out. He'll either need a caregiver or spouse to file his taxes for him, or he'll download a terrible app on his phone that he can just barely navigate and might still have to go through an audit just because he got stuff wrong.

Likelihood: Too dumb to commit tax fraud. Even if he were smart enough, he'd probably get frustrated and bored very quickly.

6 - Augustus Aquato

Auggie won't lie to you, the thought of cheating on his taxes has definitely crossed his mind. There's a lot of overhead on a circus, even a small one. With how much the family struggles financially, the temptation has always been there to write off a few fake expenses. But he never has, because he's a responsible father and husband, and would never want to endanger his family by putting their finances and freedom in jeopardy.

Likelihood: Highly unlikely. Good dad energy too strong.

5 - Mirtala Aquato

The member of the family we know the least about. She seems kind enough, though often times sarcastic and smart-alikey. A spirited and adventurers young lass, she might find certain parts of the Internal Revenue Code to be arbitrary, annoying or overly cumbersome. The thought might occur to her to commit tax fraud, but its doubtful she'd ever go all the way through with it. The potential jail time and fines would likely be enough to make her decide against it.

Likelihood: Might do it under pressure, but very unlikely otherwise.

4 - Donatella Aquato

A very passionate Italian mother, often times theatrical. Also very uncool about guilt-tripping her kids! Not cool, Donna! Though in fairness it's treated as a gag, and seems to just be her way of burning off the conflicting emotions she's going through. Still, sometime in the VERY near future she needs to give her son a hug and an apology! Moving on to the tax fraud, she's most likely faced the same temptation as her husband, but likely has weaker moral reservations. Donatella strikes me as the rebellious type, the kind who'd angrily stare down the head of a government agency for talking shit to her. Were it not for Augustus reminding her of the dangers, she'd probably get "creative" with her return filings.

Likelihood: Possibly. Similar motivations to Augustus but less moral apprehension. It'd take some pressure before she gives in.

3 - Frazie Aquato

She's a bitch but I like her. She throws shit around and says fucked up evil things. But she still clearly has a heart, can have a pleasent conversation with Raz, and even admits she misses him. Like Dion, she's a dumb teenager with issues, she's just slightly less douchey about it. Slightly. Would she commit tax fraud? This girl breaks into private government property, tosses pinecones at people and skulks around in trees like a spider monkey.

Likelihood: Would commit tax fraud, but doesn't make enough money. She lives in the woods.

2 - Queepie Aquato

This child is an agent of chaos. He runs around in the forest at the age of like 4 and is under no threat by wild animals. If anything, the wild animals are scared of him. His mind conjures up insane and silly conspiracies about psychics that he doesn't even believe and tells his older brother just to fuck with him. This kid will claim his toys and dependents to help fund his pirate radio station.

Likelihood: Already commiting tax fraud with his co-conspirator Morris Martinez.

1 - Nona Aquato

Nona has been committing massive tax fraud for decades, but only by accident. She's been filing as her dead sister, whose identity she unwittingly stole. By now, she's in her golden years, and I'm sure she figures it's too late to stop now. Might as well go the extra mile and fudge some of those numbers. Especially since she recently reconnected with her friend Cassie O'Pia, infamous criminal counterfitter. The stuff Cassie knows about cooking books will be instrumental to her fraudulent claims.

Likelihood: Serial tax scammer

[peachycrime]

SLK or Spider/Kiri/Lo'ak Headcanons

idk what these will be about tbh i’m just writing as i think of stuff lmao

Kiri had a phase where she was convinced she was a witch because everywhere she went an animal would just waddle up to her

Spider, Lo’ak and Jake talk to babies like they’re grown people, like no baby talk and it’s hilarious

Lo’ak was once holding a baby, and you know how you hold them high in the air and they’re above you? Yea they were having a moment and then the little creature threw up all over his shirt and started giggling right after

“Dude seriously? we were having a moment wtf” it took everything in him not to just drop the baby

Lo’ak would copy everything Jake did as a kid, his lil mini me fr

Lo’ak’s first words were either dad or Teyam

Spider and Lo’ak both have severe anger issues and lord knows what would happen if they ever turned on eachother abt that anger

Lo'ak is always reprimanded about the things he does, gets yelled at and gets in trouble in situations where he isn't truly at fault. Authority figures never let him explain himself and always assume he's lying or trying to makes excuses and they expect him to just take it and move on. He does, but all that annoyance and anger at a situation he can't help tends to come back up a lot.

With Spider on the other hand, adults can never seem to shut up with their backhanded comments,

"you're nicer than i thought you'd be considering your dad"

"Oh wow you're so smart I didn't think you'd get it'

"You look just like him" (in a bad way)

"Oh you're good at this, who would've thought"

All this stuff and he can't really say anything because he'd be proving them right. So he stays silent, doesn't argue back and boy does he hate it.

One time Neytiri made a comment on the wrong day at the wrong time and he honestly considered violence before he just silently walked out of the room. He definitely punches and breaks stuff but he tries to restrain himself which adds to the pent up anger

They've both used that anger on their bullies, Spider broke the guys nose and dislocated his shoulder by pulling it up his back and making him promise to never show his face again

Lo'ak just went straight to the punches, broke the dudes nose and left him slack jawed

So if you ever catch them in a slightly off mood and you even try to talk to them or act any sort of way, you're getting sent to the nurse. I'm sorry i don't make these rules

Kiri is the mediator, she doesn't want to be but she sometimes ends up being the most rational because when she's upset, anger isn't her default unlike the other two

Lo'ak collects comic books, Jake started the obsession and he went wild. Have a comic or manga you wanna borrow? Vintage or not it's probably in his room somewhere

Spider is a math genius, the formulas are just free balling in his head and it makes it easy for him.

He's also a literature enthusiast but has a hard time expressing his own ideas on paper, great public speaker though

Lo'ak definitely over analyzes his favorite characters, gets sad and cries silently abt it

Kiri is an all around science nerd, she goes to class just because she enjoys helping out w hands on science stuff, most of the content isn't new for her

Kiri despises chemistry, she understands it but finds it uninteresting. Ofc biology and botany are where it’s at

All language nerds

All great at physical education, i mean like the actually science behind the body, they have all the muscle names memorized etc

Kiri is their little jewel, Lo’ak especially, he tries to make it the least obvious but Spider definitely tells her how much Lo’ak cherishes her

Spider is very open with his affections, he just doesn’t feel the need to hide it, they live that loves that about him

Spider and Neteyam know how to cook a mean meal, put them in a kitchen together and you’re literally drooling at the smell

Spider is a spicy food enthusiast right along with Jake and Neytiri

Kiri has had a cat for 4 years, Jake has only known for 2 years because he used to be terrified of them and Kiri didn’t want him to freak out

He now carries said cat like it’s his mini purse

I’m all out

i’ll be delivering some locorro crumbs soon!

[tumblingxelian]

Wednesday & Neurodivergence

This is mostly an idle musing which I touched on in my Wednesday video, but I think one thing the show did fairly well was actually managing to make an autistic character who is a jerk without making me angry or coming off as hateful.

Hear me out.

I'm very autistic, and I hate how so much media portrays autism & Neurodivergence as:

"Oh this character is autistic which means they lack emotions and are huge assholes!"

Not just solely because its hateful, or makes us look bad, but because its inaccurate. Not just to how autism works but how in the real world autistic people are used to being rejected and bullied and otherwise mistreated for struggling with social norms, communication, hyperfixations and so on.

I recall a good post talking about portrayals like Sherlock and Sheldon and how:

"Its like they have never faced rejection in their lives."

Wednesday actually makes this work for a few reasons.

1: The show draws a clear line between when Wednesday is being Neurodivergent, Addams Family Morbid, or just a jerk.

When she just doesn't understand something, rejects socializing because the actions of others distress her or has an interest in something 'weird' Wednesday is never demonized for it. She is instead framed sympathetically or sometimes neutrally.

Characters who accept her boundaries, needs and interests, such as not touching her, such as not being crowded, or her love of the macabre are consistently shown as closer to her and more sympathetic than those who do not or otherwise try and pressure her to behave 'normally'.

That is to say, autism/Neurodivergence is not the 'cause' of Wednesday often being a jerk. It is in fact just part of what makes her Wednesday and is thus morally neutral and something to be respected and understood. It can help inform some of her other thought processes such as incorrect conclusions she might reach but its in no way the cause of her more mean behavior.

2: The reason Wednesday is often mean is, well, she's kind of spoiled.

She comes from a wealthy and powerful family who share many of her interests and hyperfixations. Said family is extremely loving and indulgent, their wealthy and supernatural nature protects Wednesday from the consequences of her own actions.

Now, it doesn't protect her entirely, such as when some "Normies" killed her pet scorpion in what was functionally a hate crime against her.

However, she's still by and large insulated from discrimination that would endanger her after that & in comparison to other 'Outcasts'. But, more to the point, her family's money & connections mean even when she, for example causes huge amount of physical damage to others, she can avoid real repercussions.

It genuinely seems like sending her to Nevermore is the first time her parents have tried to impose limits on her actions at all. These factors also likely played a part in her otherwise being so careless in regards to targeting those who bullied her brother.

She is portrayed as very smart and often quite methodical, but it seems Wednesday rarely worries about the possible consequences of her actions. Be it from authority figures or her peers, or the dangerous situations she puts herself into until its too late.

Meaning she is quite reckless and brazen; seeming genuinely shocked and often frustrated when running up against a wall. Such as being defeated in fencing or not being able to simple brute force her way through interactions with others.

3: This can especially be seen in her relationship with Enid.

She's annoyed at being sent to Nevermore & angry at her parents for "Trying to make me like them", how accurate the latter complaint is could be considered question. As it mostly seems they are just sharing fond memories they hope might make her see Nevermore in a good ight and them not having sent her to Nevermore until the legal system demanded it to protect her.

Whatever the case, when Wednesday finds Enid's energetic and colorful personality to be annoying she takes out her frustration on Enid by being generally rude, antagonistic and above all, controlling.

She expects Enid to simply do as she says and to accommodate her desires. Showing no real regard foe her space or possessions and often giving blunt orders to her. But then she seems rather flummoxed when Enid responds to her behavior by -after giving up being friendly- matching Wednesday's antagonism with her own. So much so when it seems like it might come to blows, Enid shows herself entirely happy to stand up for herself.

This can also be seen when Enid withholds help Wednesday expects from her until she apologizes for mistreating Thing. She is shocked she upset him, bust also seems genuinely confused that she is expected to apologize for her actions if she wants either of their help. After all, normally when she lashes out at her parents in some way they simply roll with it, but not here.

Enid is by and large the main reason Wednesday seemed to grow as a person throughout the show. Respecting Wednesday's boundaries, needs and even if they made her uncomfortable her interests. While always firmly imposing her own boundaries and reasonable expectations on Wednesday.

It also isn't like Enid's perfect as the surprise party she threw stressed Wednesday out & she is portrayed sympathetically for it & Enid apologizes.

But that can also be contrasted with Wednesday deceiving Enid about the manor investigation and then refusing to take responsibility for Enid being upset by the situation, Wednesday put her into, as Enid did for her. Hence, Enid being the more emotionally mature of the two.

4: All of this also lays into her being so impacted by Enid's absence.

IE, up until this point Wednesday has thought she likely being alone and didn't care for or need company... Because she's never been truly alone before.

Her family has always been providing for her the kind of social support and safety she needs to the point where she find them kind of irritating. She might not have had friends at school but her brother was there and her family was large and always accommodating to her needs and desires.

Thus, it is easy for her essentially take them for granted and to think she doesn't need companionship or friends because she's never really been without it.

Bit with them -barring Thing- absent and having driven Enid away, Wednesday encounters, likely for the first time what it is like to be lonely and hates it. Her mood only starting to improve with her uncle's arrival and then with Enid's return.

This doesn't mean she became an extrovert or anything, merely that we are a social species that doesn't cope well with isolation and a lack of companionship.

Wednesday does not radically alter her demeanor or identity and suddenly start chilling in the school yard with with the homies or otherwise "Normalize" herself.

What she does is make it a point to be more considerate of those she keeps close & to allow more open communication so to maintain those relationships in a mutual, rather than one sided fashion.

Conclusion:

So yeah, I think that they actually managed to make this concept work quite well. With there being a clear dividing line between what behaviors were and weren't acceptable. & then tying those that were not to her privilege's as opposed to her Neurodivergence which was instead presented neutrally to sympathetically.

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

yknow its a hard line to dance, but i do love when people make the stans a bit mean at times in fics/art (hard line to dance, because its pretty easy to stray into ‘sounds like author just hates these two’ territory unfortunately)

it seems to me that ford has trouble with communication. he often cant tell when something he says could be hurtful to someone

(i say that because you can tell he really does care about his family and he does to try to make things up to them- ie, comforting dipper after the bill thing, praising mabel and letting her write an entry in the journal after the unicorn thing, actually trying to find ways to mend his relationship with stan in spite of everything)

stan is the type of guy to scare children and laugh about it. there is an entire episode dedicated to this. he nonchalantly insults people, hes unapologetically cocky, and, maybe most interestingly, he also seems to have trouble telling when something he said might have been hurtful

hes kinder towards his family/friends (note: kinder, he is definitely still mean to them at times. see: boss mabel, the bottomless pit, etc.) but he really just does not care at all about upsetting strangers. he delights in making people angry, at least, the facade he puts on does. and of course, this isnt an insult towards him, it…actually kinda makes sense when you think about his past. not that it made him that way necessarily, more that it sort of emphasized those traits i think

in a similar vein, i think at least part of the reason ford has difficulty interacting with people could be because of his time spent in the multiverse. it seems he doesnt really like having to interact with strangers (excluding most anomalies). in fact, the only time you see him doing that (that i can recall) is when hes talking to the government agents. otherwise he just sort of…doesnt acknowledge their existence at all. the only exceptions are the members of the zodiac, and he gets time beforehand to know most of them

anyway- when you take those two people and put them on a boat together, you get a really interesting (platonic) dynamic! these two guys who are aggressively protective over each other and who will both absolutely deck a stranger in the face

imagine a scenario where stans insulting some random stranger and the person throws an insult back just to get knocked out by ford whos absolutely not going to tolerate it (except from stan, who gets the equivalent of a slap on the wrist)

or imagine a scenario where someone notices fords extra fingers and theyre overreacting about them and it gets to be stans turn to fistfight someone

its fun to think about, but hard to pull off. oftentimes you get ‘ford is definitely egocentric and thats it’ instead of ‘ford struggles with communication/general human interaction and especially hates interaction with people he doesnt know’

oftentimes instead of ‘stan is unapologetically mean to a lot of people (and theres a good possibility that being homeless and having to live with filbrick emphasized this)’ you get ‘stan can be mean but hes not as bad as ford and also it doesnt actually count as being mean if its directed at ford’

and, of course, this isnt to say you have to change the way you write them, this is simply me saying i like seeing these two parts of them interacting with each other. and it ended up much longer than intended

if youre like me and youre afraid of depicting them as mean in any way because other people scare you, you dont have to write them that way! you should write your fics for you first and foremost and if you dont want to write them that way, you are in no way obligated to!

anyway- theres a lot more i could say about this subject, but i think this is long enough

(just a small bonus bit to say that living with filbrick + all the bullying he had to go through definitely affected ford just as much as stan. and that neither of their traumas are more important than the other)

[ducks-and-stuff]

SKYBLING HATER POST /mean

okay so that last repost I did had the exact opposite intended affect on me and now I want to write about how much I hate Pearl and Grian and skyblings in general and sure I don’t watch a lot of their content nowadays and I never watched Pearl’s side of Evo but guess what? no-one is reading this anyways so here we go: 

So first off, do- do Pearl and Grian, like, interact that much on camera? Obviously they’re friends cause Grian invited her to the Life series and  Evo and stuff but when they’re recording they tend to do their own thing in different directions. This might just be because Pearl is upside down all the way in Australia time differences but even when playing on the life series neither of them seem to really spend vast amounts of time with the other. Just a quick cool quick little interaction or teaming up because convenience or they respect the others skill. Or maybe I just don’t watch either’s perspective enough, who knows, just haven’t seen them spend quality time with each other a lot on there. 

As for Hermitcraft, Boatem was a really good group but, uh, guys? Friends? Fellas? there were 5 members of Boatem, not 2. Why are we not going around headcannoning Mumbo and Impulse as brothers if living together makes Pearl and Grian siblings? I don’t remember them interacting all that much in season 9 either, but both did choose to live relatively close to at least one other Boatem member, Impulse and Pearl sibling au when? 

So maybe it’s beacause of Evo then. Maybe it’s that little ol’ Minecraft series that Grian left half a decade ago, cool. Pearl had a sad little montage, good for her. I’ve also heard someone say they were canonically siblings in that series but I’m not bothering to do actual work for this rant so… fun. Point is, all that was a long while ago. Sure their content has gone in wildly different directions since then with being Hermits and Emperors and little copper golems but basing their current relations off of Evo is still relevant, right? And to that I have to say, ABSOLUTELY. I’m a sucker for Evo’s ending and people who love each other finally managing to claw their way back into the other’s arms or literally any other story revolving around the end of Evo ever. I will hold onto my half a decade old Grian and Pearl headcannons till the end of time you hear me???? Authors out there including Evo angst in your work I love you so much, you make me cry. Characters separated by the gods themselves are best characters, and if the only way I’m going to get that content is if they’re blood related then I will swallow my pride and enjoy it to no end! Write more Evo affecting the present stuff and I will uh- give you this random dust bunny in my pocket. Fair trade. 

But- ahem- yes, back to complaining. Jimmy and Pearl. Guys. GUYS, I write Pearl and Jimmy interactions all the time, I’m the Pearl and Jimmy guy! And even I don’t think they interact that much??? As for the present, They have good moments together yeah because they’re both hilarious but they have their own little groups they tend to stay within. Pearls being a girlboss with her best buds and Jimmy’s being bullied by his. Have they even ever teamed in a life series? Did they ever really talk on Empires that much? Jimmy invited her to help with his Christmas village building which was a really nice surprise and they hung out on Evo, but, anything the fandom is both glued to and recent? 

Honestly, my biggest issue is just that is seems like the age old trope of tying a female to a more popular male character and I hate it. Obviously in the world of male dominated mcyt this is kinda hard to avoid but… this headcannon with most popular kid in school Grian specifically when I don’t even see them interacting that much? I understand Grian and Jimmy because they actually have a lot of close, consistent interactions but every time I see Pearl in the mix I just have to pause and question it. There was a really good post a while ago about how people tend to assign her as oldest because reason that is probably ‘well, girls are more mature’, and yeah, why are we doing that? Why are we all just putting her into a trio she’s rarely seen with nowadays anyways? She’s a public menace, not a menace to these two in particular.

With Grian especially it seems to me like it could be a case of sure, woman in her own is cool but what if it was woman and DUDE EVERYONE ALSO LIKES SO MUCH?!???? HOW AMAZINGLY AMAZING. They’ll fit together like two puzzle pieces from different boxes with the same color scheme! So fun right? To me it seems as though this dynamic was not based around these three close friends who were like siblings, but instead, Grian plus his loving family. One member of which is going to wander off to find Gem and Impulse anyways. 

So yeah, I say free them all, but especially Pearl, from this dynamic. Share her chaos! Give her a mace! Set her lose onto the world! 

Or, don’t, lol. Ultimately the point of a fandom is for everyone to have fun, and if shoving these little guys together is what makes you happiest then go for it! I just like complaining and I see a hint of underlying sexism in the headcannon being so widely accepted on what seems to me as such little basis, but who’s a random internet user to stop you from doing what you love. 

Just because I have a personal problem with something that isn’t really hurting anybody doesn’t mean you should stop, like I said, I love writing stories about Jimmy and Pearl clinging onto each other after Evo regardless of my belief that they don’t really do that at all in their content today. So yeah, write your stories, make your art, and remember to have fun with (any very non-problematic 👍) things regardless of what anybody else says! Best wishes to you MCYTumblr! Everyone’s art and writing and we weaves and whatever over these little guys we’ve all decided to cling to is absolutely beautiful to witness!