#also. nobody ask me about the bones. who give a shit about those

[rat-enclosure]

Our Lady of the Ninth House

[merlinmarvelandother-oneshots]

Hello, good morning/afternoon/night.

(this was written with a translator, in case there are spelling errors)

First of all I want to tell you that I adore everything you write and the way you do it.

And second, could I place an order?

I'm still learning how to use Tumblr, so I don't know how to do several things and I don't know if I'm writing this where I should.

I hope it doesn't bother you ir make you feel Uncomfortable!!

Lately I have had some situations in which a...family member...in an indirect and at the same time direct way has told me that I am...overweight/fat...and that has made me feel bad, so only if you want, could you make some headcanon about how Undertale, Underswap, Underfell and Horrortale would react to me believing that.

(I mean, they would deny it and say nice things or they would laugh and make fun of me for it and highlight having a double chin and a belly and stuff like that...)

But of course, if you don't want, of course it's not necessary or if it seems like there are too many characters, you can remove them or if you want ignore this and I'll understand.

Thank you for taking the time to read this!

anon, i’m so sorry this happened to you <3 it’s unfair and nobody should have to go through that.

readers gender isn’t specified, but i use “beautiful” and “gorgeous”

Undertale, Underfell, underswap, and horrortale skelebros reacting to a reader who has been fat-shamed

Undertale:

Sans:

-his brow bones would furrow

-“wait a minute, who said that?”

-he’d nod when you tell him

-“listen, they’re wrong. you’re beautiful as you are. now, i don’t want you starting any diets or anything if they would just make you unhappy, because i’ve heard plenty of stories about them being terrible. your family members just plain wrong. ‘kay?”

-he’d hug you if you were still upset

-from then on, he would tell you how gorgeous you were more often

papyrus:

-he would be even more upset than you were, honestly

-someone would DARE say such nasty things about HIS s/o / friend??

-he would storm to their house, knock on the door, and that man WOULD. NOT. BUDGE. until your family member listened to him.

-he would be harsh but obviously be nice about it

underfell:

Sans:

-why do you give a fuck???

-he’s honestly so confused

-like, his brother told him the same thing (which also confused him, seeing as he is a SKELETON) and he just?? didn’t care??

-he tells you to stop giving a fuck

-that’s it

-“why do you give a shit about what they say? their opinions are ass. you look great”

papyrus:

-he doesn’t look up from his book when you say that

-“mm. you could stand to lose a few pounds, i guess”

-(you don’t think he quite realized how hurtful that is)

-if you tell him he’d ask why

-he thinks he’s genuinely looking out for your best interests.

underswap:

sans:

-“they told you WHAT!?”

-he would be FUMING with anger

-but, he would calm himself down enough to reassure you

-he would tell you that you look amazing, and you shouldn’t start a diet that you wouldn’t enjoy just to conform to their standards of beautiful or healthy.

-he would talk to the family member afterwards, angrier than he would normally like to be when resolving a conflict

-you never hear those words from your family member again, trust me

papyrus:

-“fuck ‘em”

-you appear slightly offended that he would say something like that about your family member, so he elaborates

-“they want to police you on how traditionally beautiful or healthy you are. you were happy before that, but now their words have upset you, for something that didn’t need said in the first place. so, fuck ‘em. that’s an asshole move”

-he would not argue this with you

horrortale:

Sans:

-hes so fucking confused

-where he’s from, food is a scarcity, and your family’s bitching about “too much?”

-he contacts your family member, whether that be finding their address from your address book or by finding their phone number on your phone, and gives him a piece of his mind.

-he would rant for HOURS if he could, or if he could keep his train of thought for that long, about how lucky they are for having food in the first place.

-afterwards he would encourage you about how beautiful you are, and how wrong your family member is

papyrus:

-he would look at you with concern

-overweight?

-he won’t pretend to be an expert on human weight, but even if you are “overweight,” that’s a good thing! it means you have access to food!

-that’s SO special to him.

-he would tell you that no matter what your family member thought, you were BEAUTIFUL

-he would be happy to talk to your family member if you wanted him to

[redactahoe]

even more redacted headcanons

i am losing my mind :D

this is just my opinion none of this is canon this is all for shits in giggles and i will infact repeat myself for previous headcanon post srry this is also only somewhat orginized and super unedited

ever person in the shaw pack has/had a crush on darlin

darlin has been voted as the 'hottest person in the pack as well

babe is classically trained in piano and viola and one day dreams to own they're own grand piano don't worry davids rich ass may or may not be planning this as a wedding gift for them

playing off that last point babe hates it when people after finding out they can play, start demanding not asking no demanding them to play something. everytime this happens (which isn't often at least with the shaw pack that is) asher has to physically hold his mate back from violently shoving they're viola bow up the assholes... asshole

instead of hush just waiting at docs apartment for them to come home from work, he would rather creepily sit with his knees to chest in an extra spinney chair in the corner of docs office. like he'll act 'normal' when its just him and doc, but if someone comes in for any reason hell stop talking and just watch them

mentor actually isn't that nice to they're coworkers but when they first saw ollie they were smitten, like ollie is the only person they talked to outside of work stuff. they were not there for water cooler small talk😭but for ollie they would do anything

on that same not i am a firm believer in james spouse being stoned faced with everyone except james and the hand full friends that they have

asset loves listening and asking questions to anton or james talk about their respective spouses

anton has been slowly building up a collection of shiny rocks hes either fond or bought so when he finally gets to go home to his partner and give to them

david is actually besties with babe because their both people who see Asher on a consistent bases and therefore meet up every other week discussing the various type of shenanigans asher gets into

darlin and brights have a bone room in sam and darlin's house.... let me explain, so it is of my firm belief that 90% of the shaw pack is neurodivergent and darlin is not exempt from that. bright also has some vague form of neurodivergent that bright refuses to anyone and this all comminates into both of them coincidently having the same special interests in bones and animals in general. and since sam (according to asher) owns this big ass cabin in the middle of the woods, it was perfect. and bright didnt have the bone room is because they had a small enough collection to keep in their room at sams place. that is until darlin moved and pulled up with their extensive collecting that they've had since the age of 10 and sam was very willing to put one of those 'guest room' nobody uses them bright happen to be there the day darlin and sam were able to get the aforementioned bone collection home form storage and they lost there collective mind with excitement. and sam got watch with this fond and loving twinkle as bright and darlin ramble and trade facts about animals and their bones (and darlin got to teach bright how to properly clean bones it was adorable)(ok ill shut up about this)

angel loves to recreate outfits from many types of videogames and tv show and uses packmembers (read as: tank and asher) as mannequins.

going off that last point(again) david loves listening to angel ramble about they're latest project and intentionally searched and bought a house with alot of big ass closets so angel can hang up all of the finished ones and store all of the stuff they need to make

ftm!guy is rarely ever dysphoric b/c while honey isnt the greatest at expressing their emotions they are incredibly attentive with guy and his needs and wants so this means that honey is always checking in on him. not only that but early on when they were just roommates that one other girl's boyfriend that they were rooming with (i forgot her name) made an off handed/gross comment about guy and honey literally kicked his ass out. like they picked he disgusting ass up and threw him out of the fucking apartment.... guy still laughs about to this day.

i fully believe that the damn polycule does and should include laskos listener (dear) and they can infact dom anyone

all of the de(a)mons can infact purr but gavin and caluem are most open about that fact.

lovely didnt grow up or live the riches life so when they started to dating vincent they had hard time excepting all of Vincent and williams expansive gifts all the while Vincent love langue is gift giving

lovley loves music so much. like its the hyperfixation, anything to do with music and i mean anything lovely could probaly tell you about. and much to willams delight that means he now has someone to talk about music and art from his time peroid (hes over 500 y/o yall) and them knowing exactly what theyre talking about

despite the fact that alot of people will say that lovely is William's fave, its actually untrue. williams favorite is actually darlin, i know i know but stick with me here. i think alot of the clan members to tend to question or disagree with william because hes their king but darlin is very diffrent. i think that once they start attending clan meetings the kinda behave like they're at pack meeting b/c its essentially the same thing. so theyre always asking questions, giving suggestions and even calling william out when he sometimes gets things wrongs. and william loves this, he loves how engaged they are and recognizes that thats just how darlin shows that not only do they care but that theyre listening. hell he'll even tell someone (even if sam has alredy told them the stfu) that trys to rudely interrupt darlin with " YoU SHoUlDnT iNtErRuPt ThE kInG!" to stfu if you dont have anything meaningful to contribute

everyone(excluding like a handful of people) in the both shaw pack and the solaire pack is kinda protective of babe and angel. and its not just because they're both humans its mostly because both of the are humans that treat others as humans. let me explain, so in empowered society ive noticed that vampires and shifter are treated differently form other empowered people. its really supple but anyways both angel an babe see no reason to interact with vampires and shifters any differently from how they would interact with any other person and most of them really appreciate that. people tend to talk to shifters like they're animals of some kind and people tend to act like all vamps have no control over theyre impulses and hunger and when both are asked angel tells the person that no matter what kind of magic got, it doesnt matter. because at the end of the day they all are/were human. with babe youll get similar answer but they'll tack on that its important for everybody to remember that they are people, human of not people are flawed and will make mistake. and trying to pretend that your above/below feelings and flaws is very bad for ones mental health. and thats how alot of older generations of shifter/vamp end up living in the middle of bumfuck no where, borderline insane and very lonely

welp thats it for know

thx for reading sorry if i forget any tags

[somefishycat]

WIP Wednesday 10/30/24

I added a little bit to the backlog this week (I'm behind on olb) but here's what I've got.

marble wall 2 for @kitten-kokomo @loyal-house-of-lupin @violet-prism-creatively @enigma-the-mysterious @zyrafowe-sny

@kallisto-k @tiercell

“No,” Luz says. “What? No, you are not.” Everyone else turns to stare at them. But Hunter doesn't even look up. “It has to be here,” he says. Gus has to admit, it does make a terrible sort of sense. Those are Caleb's bones, too, aren't they? And Hunter must know that. There's no way he still thinks he's a regular witch. Not after the way he died. (There's a galdorstone tied to Gus's wrist. Thanks to his glimpse of Belos’s memories, Gus is now far too aware of where it came from.) “I don't like it either,” Hunter admits. “But listen. This is an empty grave. You want to hide my body? Nobody’s going to be looking in an empty grave.” “Or stumbling on it by accident. What if we hide it in the woods and someone just happens to dig there? And…” Amity trails off, looking around at everyone else.

marble wall 3 for @eriquin @oriharaizayadividesintoslytherin @auburnlaughter @wizisbored @twyrewolf

@hurricanebreeze @tamsinswriting

“Why did he kill you?” he asks. “In the… the book, I mean. Luzura is you, right? Why does — sorry for anyone who hasn't read it yet, spoilers —” Vee covers her ears. “Why does Luzura die?” Luz laughs nervously. “It's just a story? We had a little fight because King was being a selfish little shit. We had different ideas of how it would go, and he didn't want to compromise. It doesn't mean anything.” Just a story. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't matter that a literal god wrote it. Okay. (And it's a good story. Knowing that one of the main characters, the one who dies, is based on Luz makes it a little uncomfortable, but he still kind of loves how it ended. Luzura’s sacrifice was tragic! She saved Ruler and their friends, at the cost of her own life!) “Tell me about it,” he says. “You wrote it together?”

ones left behind for @kalira @aparticularbandit @whimsicalmeerkat @asha10100101010 @shelfthe-reader

The younger bards aren't convinced. “You're going to get caught,” Derwin says. But at least none of them have any complaints about Steve being in charge. Everyone likes Steve. “They know what they're doing,” Steve says. “They wouldn't take a risk like that for no reason.” (Steve also has just a little too much faith in his friends. The CATs, Eberwolf will readily admit, don't have the best track record when it comes to decision making. See: attempting to break into the emperor's mind and getting a kid killed instead. Or everything they did on the Day of Unity.) Eber nods, confident at least in his ability to not be torn to shreds by Eda the Owl Lady. Then he leans against Steve until the witch gives him a pat on the head. Steve gives the best head pats. “Good luck. You're going to need it,” Katya mutters, scribbling something in a journal.

[haleigh-sloth]

I've been seeing a lot of posts popping up about how redemption for the league means sacrificing their ideals... and I'm incredibly curious about what those ideals are?? They never mention exactly *what* they are alongside it but also I don't particularly want to ask and actually post on twitter.

The "ideals" fandom at large tends to think they have are ideals that involve changing and challenging society.

They are challenging society for sure, but the story does not portray them as the good guys for doing this, and somehow this fact has been completely lost on people and they haven't put 2 and 2 together as to why the story won't throw the villains a bone. The bone being them winning and being acknowledged as "right" lol.

I've noticed recently people still like....cite Dabi's broadcast as peak characterization for him and that's wild to me. It's like they haven't noticed that the story kinda doesn't acknowledge his broadcast at all, and that he doesn't actually like have any desire to see anything he spouted lip service about come to fruition.

I get it, to an extent. But Touya's true motives were not to take down hero society, it was to hurt his dad. If his true motive was to shake up society for the greater good he wouldn't be targeting his family or letting them carelessly get caught up in the violence, he wouldn't be bringing violence upon cities of people who had fuck nothing to do with his situation.

If he actually gave half of a shit about the stuff he preached, he wouldn't have told them to criticize heroes (which is fair!) BUT THEN ALSO put them in a situation where HEROES are the ONLY PEOPLE keeping uninvolved civilians alive!!

Also he wouldn't be telling Shouto he's an ungrateful little shit for not capitalizing on being Endeavor's son lmao. He displayed his raw jealousy in their fight and everyone just *POOF* FORGOT THAT I GUESS.

That's just with Touya, I could go on and on. The others too though. You have Spinner with an army of people who honestly HAVE a really great cause to rally together and stand up for, and Spinner put himself in a situation where he literally told them "I don't care" when they were voicing their grievances out in the open. Toga straight up doesn't care. Tomura doesn't care about changing jack shit because he just wants to kill it all. And his "want" to destroy it all actually stems from an extremely distorted perception of himself and his existence, so even that is a false belief of his. Everything he yells about comes from an extremely twisted perception of literally just himself. He sees hero society for the shit it is, but he wants to destroy it all because of how he feels about himself, which has led him to being the enemy to literally everyone and nobody giving a shit about the valid points he has. Same goes for Touya. It's hard for them to look at his broadcast shitting on heroes and take it seriously as he is parading on Machia through multiple cities leaving civilians to rely on literally nobody else besides HEROES.

The only LOV members who have a non-distorted cause they actually want something done about is Spinner and Compress, but because they're in a little terrorist club they don't do shit about those things.

There are no real ideals that the lov like, legitimately care to do literally anything about.

The end of the PLF war did put the heroes in a negative light, which, mission accomplished, but only kind of. Just mostly the ones who were giving up and quitting the hero profession, not just the title and meaning held behind being a Hero Professional. In the end, the heroes were still the ones protecting civilians anyway and within the story the heroes are still THE positive force in their universe. Within the context of the story, that DID NOT change. The heroes are still good, full of hope. So um, really and truly the villains didn't accomplish much on that front.

It annoys me when people say there is no change to society. We're seeing it now in this final arc. Gentle and Nagant. That is change. Positive change. And surprise surprise, it wasn't because of the villains' terrorism, it was because of heroic influence from Izuku. That's the point. There is change happening, and it's happening because of positive forces.

There is a reason the story repeatedly puts the villains in situations where they are not the good guys. There's a reason the story makes them victims that need SAVING rather than victims that need a podium to stand on. People want them to have the podium, but they're not gonna get it. At the very least, they won't get it until they are saved by heroes.

[extraextrascreamallaboutit]

Mafia Au

So I am basing this idea on the fic "Garbage Business" from @aeroargonic (thank you Aero for permission), go read it please! it really inspired me, and it's not a super long read dw

Putting this under a cut since it's very long

Anyway, so disclaimer: I have no clue how the mafia works beyond a cursory google search, so if it doesn't work out that way in real life, uhh Ninjago is different from IRL

Also, trigger warnings (nothing explicitly stated): mature content, violence, dubcon, abuse, miscommunication, murder

Basic Idea:

Shade Pathis-Oppenheimer, a "mafia prince", is the younger half-siblings of Neuro Pathis, the head of a very powerful mafia gang, is an expert in keeping secrets. Most assume the secrets Shade knows are mostly comprised of the various crimes of those working under Neuro.

But that's not all. There's also the fact that Shade is having all these weird inhuman traits pop up, like the irresistible urge to hoard any and all shiny things or make a nest in under the bed or being able to disappear into the shadows completely.

It's the fact that "brother" and "boy" don't fit like they used to, and that Shade would prefer to be called Neuro's "little sister".

It's the fact that Shade's dating three people, one of whom is the child of another mafia boss and the other two are basically nobodies she met at school.

While these might not get her arrested, they could get her disowned. So...time to brush up on her lying skills and hope Neuro, or anyone who works with him, doesn't catch on.

TLDR:

Shade's secretly a trans girl, in a poly relationship with Tox/Kai/Skylor, and has an elemental power without knowing it + phantom traits (both of them are from her mom, who is not Neuro's mom). All of which Neuro doesn't know shit about it.

More Information About This AU (subject to change)

Shade (and partners) are like 16/17, which is the age of consent where I live, please do not come at for me

There will be mature content!! I will tag for that, so don't worry, and the tag will be 'nsft'

Kai is genderfluid and Tox is a trans girl and Skylor is a trans boy

Neuro and Shade are related by their dad, who is the former mafia boss

The polycule doesn't get to hang out of school too much because they're all closeted to their guardians

Shade is in choir with Tox, and Kai and Skylor are in band togehter

Griffin and Karlof work with Neuro, with Karlof as the muscle and Griffin as a sort of righthand man. Griffin gets a bunch of annoying jobs

The story will be told through a bunch of connected fics, mostly cause a long-fic would be so annoying to write tbh, and it would be harder to write different character's perspectives of some incidents

Zane works for the mafia as a back-alley doctor, who gets paid in bones for bone weapons when the mafia kills people

The ninja all are go to high school, and are at varying degrees of awareness of Kai's relationship with the other three

Nya and Jay don't trust the other two at all while Lloyd and Cole are indifferent/give them the benefit of the doubt

A lot of this au is basically "Shade and Neuro, due to a large age gap and Shade's fear of disappointing Neuro and Neuro thinking Shade would ask for help, are bad at communication"

Neuro's like late 20s (25+), and became the head of the mafia about 2 years earlier, since their dad is getting older and wanted to travel the world and was honestly not doing well due to losing his wife (Shade's mom)

Potiential Fic ideas

A POV of the whole series at the end from Griffin's perspective because he doesn't care but he learns so much more than he wants to know

Zane and Shade conversations

Neuro and Shade go shopping and it is very awkward

Parent Teacher Conference fic

Potential ideas For How To Get Neuro/Shade To Talk (Because I wanna ramble) (not guaranteed to go with any of them lmao)

Paleman/Ash route

Paleman and Ash are here, but they are not good at all. They're actually two lower level guys who are super good at sneaking around and tell Shade that Neuro wants them to help her be "a man"

Shade, who doesn't talk with Neuro all that much, thinks that they're telling the truth and lets them do a bunch of shit to her, like send an escort to her in the middle of the night, stealing her stuff and making her watch them burn it

Don't worry, Neuro does catch them and that sets off a bunch of conversations

De-Aging Fic where so much about Shade gets revealed

Because I love these fics and no one writes them

Basically Shade gets turned into a kid (like 8-11) and Neuro learns about the kid he basically never saw since he was out at college when Shade was 7-14

Their dad makes an appearance! And Shade actually communicates a lot of stuff about being a girl to him

Shade goes into heat/her phantom traits get brought up

What it says on the tin: Shade goes into heat basically

For this au, heat is more about being very clingy and over possessive of personal belongings and wanting to nest than anything

Also a phantom's scent is very strong and can't really be hidden

Shade gets them every other month or something, and pretends to be sick for the duration of the heat, with Zane being the only one to know (because Zane does not give a shit lmao)

But then one time Neuro decides to check on Shade and whoops, now she has to explain shit to Neuro

ANYWAY, yeah that is a long post. Sorry about that, y'all, I just wanna ramble about this au so much. Feel free to ask about it, and I'll fix any typos later, it's midnight as I am writing this help.

[r3v0lver-0c3lot]

17 and 25 for ask game let's go

mgs ahh answers💀💀💀

anyway

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

Boss and tiny ocelot!!!!! And in general just boss and ocelot and sorrow family hangouts (not just where ocelot is small, it'll be cool if they spent time together in snake eater). i've seen some of these and they really remind me of my childhood and because ocelot and boss are russian it'll be cool if there was some fic or art about ocelot's (non-existent) childhood (but this is an au so it doesn't matter that it contradicts the canon idgaf) like how he went to school (bc i love memes about slavic school some funny shit is bound to happen there) and how during summer he went to the countryside w/ his family and they lived in a small cottage house (dacha, if you will) and they cooked pirozhki and borsch and whatever. i do love my country's culture (NOT THE POLITICS OBV AND ALL THAT CONSERVATIVE SHIT HELL NAW) and i LOVE the boss and ocelot's dynamic (also the boss reminds me of my mom) so seeing them in this kind of familial childhood settimg really resonates with me. i also HATE HATE HATE LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I HATE when russian aus are being reduced to adidas vodka drugs smoking depression gopnik internal homophobia type shit like stop making every character act like a drug addict alochoholic swine with no manners and or morals. so i think those type of aus where its russian summer and swimming in the river and playing in the field outside of the big cities or going to school and doing some whacky shit are much better to me at least. not just because they kick me in the ribs and bash my bones with nostalgia and bitter happiness of the time i never am going to come back to, but also because it doesn't transform my favourite characters into some carricature pieces of shit and actually shows a good side of my culture. ALSO. more ocelot speaking russian. i've seen fanart where he's a kid and he walks round with the boss and they see a cat and he point at it and says "Кошка!" (wich means cat!) and i legit cried bro not even joking give me stuff like this again

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

i am going to jeff the kill anyone who says oH rIsInG iSnT cAnOn It RuInEd RaIdEnS cHaRaCtEr WOMP WOMP YOU FUCKING CUNT🖕🖕🖕 oh really? why? because in mgs4 he decided to say with rose and LiTtLe JoHn?? do you fucking hear yourself? did you play the game with your eyes AND ears closed? did you turn off your console like you were told to in mgs 2? fission mailed. fucking listen. in mgs4 rose left raiden because he had ptsd flashbacls and was drinking and fighting in the streets and couldn't control himself. i mean she left him to trick the patriots but this doesn't undo all the problems with his mental state wich obviously will cause a problem in a relationship one way or the other. and then by the end of the game he's like nah id win and decides to say with rose and also he now has a child. fucking great. you're not a monster jack. well except for the fact that his ptsd and trauma and desire for violence (eben if its to protect someone, wich is exactly what he does in rising) does not magically disappear just because yall say it did. he decided to say with his family but nobody including raiden himself didn't do anything for him to heal so if it didn't work before why would it work now when nothing changed. wich is why rising exists in wich i think he was standing here and realised that it won't work and continued going along with his violent urges wich is sad but makes more sense for his character and also this time he uses his desire and power to protect children from being made into child soldiers like he once was. so yeah mgs4 raiden arc can fuck off and Rising is based as hell for shoving 4's ending in the ass and making a better arc for him

[mandalhoerian]

bruh my comment was too long to post under the new chapter so i’m sending an ask. saw the ao3 notif and scheduled to read it this fine evening, good thing i was like “lemme scroll on tumblr and see what’s up” because SJFKDJLXBZB the face i made when i saw i was tagged and followed BY YOU? also ma’am 🤚🏻wdym nobody comments like i do. like what do you mean. i have a concerning relationship with receiving praise so i advise you to stfu (affectionately).

my poor girl vera can’t catch a break, loss after loss after loss in such a short period. i just want to give her lots and lots of hugs (consensually). on another note i love that she clocked ada’s intentions right away bc capcom wtf is that writing. one person taking down a whole organization is like sending only one person to save president’s kidnapped daughter (laugh track). let me tell you i have been waiting for this 🤌🏻 vera and ada interacting 🤌🏻 leon being there all charming and naive and trusting people easily 🤌🏻 shai you just get the dynamics of all the characters *so right* 🤌🏻

sorry for the excessive amount of parentheses and emojis let me just find another obnoxiously annoying emoji to spam about the intimacy between leon and vera. 🤧 it’s this one but i’m wiping my snot away from crying about it. the small touches between the two are so tender in this fucked up world 🤧 vera’s hand on his forearm… leon collecting her in his arms, comforting her 🤧 his arm on her shoulder 🤧 i could cry and get a headache from thinking about them. i’m so serious.

(gnawing at the bars of my enclosure) JILL VALENTINE MENTION???? VERA KNOWS HER? WHAT IS THE LORE? I NEED TO KNOW.

how does one end a delirious comment. uhhh. so yeah. i love nttd and vera so much and i’m so happy that it’s back babyyyy.

Ofc I followed!!!! I don't remember why I didn't in the first place like but like ???? ur making it sound like I'm some big shot but like pls im a loser who's writing oc fanfiction on the internet and is so lucky and grateful to get people invested in it!!!!! AND YES nobody comments like you do! You're the dream of a fanfiction author ON GOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH

ramble below to keep your dashboards clean:

I think we talked about this over on ao3 but honestly re2r's ada just doesn't make sense to me. The FBI cover is logical (when you first think about it), but the way she's immediately pulling a gun on Annette the minute they see her and DECLARING her intentions isn't. She then proceeds to reveal her target is Annette, and then her going with the FBI thing becomes less logical, bc why would Annette hand over the G-Virus sample to the feds, either? It's entirely a shock factor thing revolved around Leon, she's only fooling him -- or maybe, she's fooled Ben like this, too, and was forced to stick to her cover when shit went down, we don't know 😭 why did they do my girl ada like that... (ngl re4r ada supremacy. period.)

But either way, un-truths she would throw as a bone to a "civilian" like Leon would of course be caught by Vera, nugget by nugget, while still making her think "mayhaps the FBI is misinformed????" -- I didn't want to ruin that fine line by Ada going on about Annette making the virus and her being the most dangerous of all "g-virus g-virus g-virus" or whatever because 1) WHY WOULD A SPY DO THAT???? 2) it would surely make Vera go "yeah NOPE" 💀💀

it's so much fun for them to try sussing each other out, Light and L mind games over there while Leon is happily frolicking. not one thought behind those eyes 😭

ALSO LIKE YES THE TOUCHES!!!!!! It's Leon initiating all of them for me 👹👹👹 physical touch taking over when words can't. my favorite thing of all UGGHHHHHHHH THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME IN MY MISERY

ALSO totally not going "actually 🤓☝" as I'm saying this because it's been HALF A WHOLE YEAR + the fic is over 100K words -- Vera knows Jill from post!mansion incident - pre!outbreak, in that ephemeral "investigation" phase of Jill's. I do mention it in the fic that Vera supplies information to Jill (as around that time she's trying to get rid of the weight of all she knows and trying to pass on the "hero's job" to someone else) and they exchange their findings while trying to be careful not to get caught by ppl Umbrella put on Jill's tail. I think I wrote it in passing that Vera was disguised as a secretary and sat back-to-back with Jill on a booth in one of those occasions? She's loosely connected to re3r by having a brief appearance in carlos' police station section in my head, entrusting Jill to him and all and promising to meet up with them in the station once she talks to her dad about it ☹

"delirious comment" WDYM ITS MY LIFEBLOOD THANK YOU 😭

[nfumbewalk]

So Trite & Contrary

I am one. The Magician, the first card in the tarot. An important card, for me, especially. I lost myself in high & mighty Ifá studies and forgot my core. Magic! And always, always necromancy & necrosophy. I was told to stay away from necromancy by a higher power and it fuckin felt wrong to me. Nobody tells me not to work with my muertos. My muerto was suspicious of the ATR'S.

Rodolfo wasn't very happy when he learned I was cutting down my time with him & the other muertos. Rodolfo is very special to me. My first successful extraction from the graveyard, into my Record Keeping quartz, then into my vessel. It was called a "spirit pot" and I wrote the book on those...years ago. I lost my muerto when I disassembled my pot about 12 years ago. Two years ago, my friend Angel told me how to get Rodolfo back & into a vessel - this time a old, decorated tequila bottle. Got the right herbs, bones, and a certain type of pact - worked like a charm!

Rodolfo died at 35 years old. He was in a motorcycle club known as the Free Souls. They are a 1%'er, outlaw MC that originate here in Eugene, Ore. He is Latino and proud of it, he prefers terms like Hispanic, Latino, or Mexican. I asked him about the new "Latinx" terminology after explaining it to him. He laughed at this, very jovial at first and then a sinister snicker. He said, "What bullshit, man. Don't fuckin say it cos like, what's the X stand for? Experimental? Fuckin dopes." He is old school, a bit biased about other races but not racist.

I have a photo of his grave. He does have a difficult last name to pronounce. He is a Taurus. I usually don't get along with Taurus folks. Hmm!

I'm sure ppl may not believe me & the shit I talk about. That's fine, but I'm not a liar, nor do I write fiction. Not a fan of fiction anyway. I'm also not afraid to stand up for what I do & stand for. Basically, I'm no shit talker. Everything I do is real & it works for me & others I've taught. I've got 32 years of magic experience and I was born a necromancer. It was written in my stars (astrology). I can see it in anyone's astrological chart. It's all placements. Saturn, outer planets, and houses. Yes, you can still be a necromancer if it's not in your astrological chart, but it's quite a bit harder. I recently had a client with a perfect chart. Just couldn't teach her because her personality didn't go with mine. I'm not a fast teacher & I don't hand out participation trophies. Lessons & tests require field trips to graveyards frequently. Necromancy & necrosophy does not require lots of reading books, but it does require WORK.

Teaching is open, but I've already posted the class fee. Not cheap. It's not only documents that you get. I also send many things for the class that I do not sell. Oils, incenses, polvos (powders), special concoctions - like my Wallbreaker brew. That's a very potent mixture that breaks down blockages in your life. I only *give* this stuff away, or if I do sell it, it's at $35 for 1/2 ounce. It's gold, baby. Pure gold. Yes, it does work that well. Many clients still look for it. The only bottle I have is the LAST bottle. I can make it again but it takes about 5 years. A special root is mixed with a Spanish leaf in grain alcohol and must steep for at least five years. The odor is interesting, sort of like leather and booze and it's brown in color.

I also have a checkered reputation. Ppl don't care for me. I'm sure you can tell. I'm a facetious bitch but I'm very patient, giving, and fair. And I'm a good necromancy & necrosophy instructor. The students I've had are satisfied though one had to go fully back to her mom duties. Another student excelled so much, she didn't need the rest of my teachings, but she's welcome back anytime she wants. Other students graduated and moved on to be successful Necro-Workers.

We are few & far between, but those of us who work the Necro Arts are honest, capable people. We're the little folks in the shadows that pray to elevate the souls of muertos, comfort them when they're in anguish, feed them with water & light & food too. Necromancy & necrosophy aren't about asking the muertos random questions and being **spooky** on Halloween. Woooo!

**This field should be respected but I don't expect it.** Those who really work with muertos don't ask for people's regard, opinions OR help. We realize that most ppl *DO NOT* care about the dead (yes, dead) - just bury & forget, right?

I'm done. Hope someone gets something out of this ramble. Don't go round thinking I have this huge ego, cos I don't. It's average.

Memento Mori!

Oluwa (Jen) 💖💀💖

Photo: This is from a reading I did with the Santa Muerte Tarot.

[sideshow-cellophane-blog]

Every question about Lupin Gang (+ Zeni) 🥺

BOI YEAH LETS GO Are you the same Lupin anon I've seen a few times? I love you haha! Most of these are inspired by canon tickles, but I added what I think would make sense!

1. Who has the cutest tickle laugh?

They ALL do. Buuuuut Goemon's is rarest, Lupin's is most contagious, Jigen has this higher-pitched tickle giggle that nobody expects out of him, Fujiko DESERVES to be tickled most because she's a lil shit so it's satisfying, and all four of them will tickle Zenigata just to get him to lighten up. Or cheer up. His tickle laugh is so cute.

2. What are their tickle spots?

Lupin - canonically everywhere? His neck and ears, hips, ribs, death spot is tummy. He can't take being tickled but he enjoys dishing it out. He has a canon tickle laugh that is bouncy and boyish

Jigen - Ribs, neck, thighs, hip bones where the thighs and waist meet. He has this sweet high-pitched giggle that just sounds happy.

Goemon - the back of his thighs is death spot, but also feet and generally legs. He's still learning how to laugh and be tickled so it's all over the place. He's prone to soft tickles most.

Fujiko - her entire body as seen in episode 1 lmao. The worst is her torso, namely ribs and sides. I also see her knees being a spot?

Zenigata - ARMPITS and upper ribs!! Those tickle scenes with him are exclusively pit tiggles!! Lupin KNOWS and TARGETS them EVERY. TIME. And you get him giggling immediately over his entire freaking coat and shirt, imagine how bad feathers on skin would feel??? I also see him having a very ticklish chin, hips, and sides.

3. Who is ticklish in unusual places and where would that be?

Lupin's ears, neck, and collar bone. Zenigata has made him laugh by just breathing on the areas.

Jigen's chin and, I'm gonna say, the sides of his knee pits.

Goemon's odd spots, like right beneath his butt.

Fujiko is SUPER ticklish on the tops of her feet

Zenigata has ticklish shoulder blades

4. Who gets cheer-up tickles?

Zenigata, usually when the gang is right in front of him and he can't legally arrest anyone.

ALSO Lupin when he's moody (Fujiko related sad boy hours) and his boys decide that they need that smile back. He will also annoy his partners on purpose or sprawl in very open positions when in a lee mood. Sometimes he'll do a sneak attack to start tickle fights just to get attention, not even just from his boys.

Goemon after The Blood Spray of Goemon Ishikawa :( Sometimes when he sees Jigen and Lupin having their tickle fights he sits in a corner and is too shy to join or ask them to attack him too. He makes it obvious though by bringing his knees to his chest and pouting staring, and after the first few times he did this they caught on that it's his way of asking. Eventually he learns to flop on top of one of them and can be a ruthless ler.

Jigen, when he's feeling edgy and touch-starved, will sometimes ask for belly rubs or something else hinting he wants tickles. Like, "MAN my tooth hurts. Help me take my mind off it huh? Rub my belly or something." Or, "Hey I cooked and cleaned tonight! Least you can do is give me a footrub or something." Or, "You let Fujiko get away with the treasure again?! Well tickle my ribs Lupin, you're all tied up with that woman!" Or, "Hey, I had a rough night. Now I'm gonna lay in your lap and you're gonna tickle me silly help me smile." On it goes.

5. Do either of them try to hide their ticklishness?

It's apparently common knowledge that Lupin is ticklish amongst his enemies, but he can't stand being tortured by villains who won't stop when he's past his limits.

I'd say Goemon hides it the best he can. Only his partners know and they're gonna keep him to themselves!

Fujiko hates being taken advantage of when it comes to tickling so she keeps her targets at arms length to avoid any mishaps. Like a girl boss, she'd rather kill someone than be tied and tortured by an evil old perverted man again.

Zenigata actually doesn't mind being tickled, so long as it isn't in front of his precinct or coworkers. It's hard and humiliating to explain how Lupin knew where to tickle him to get away, not so much that he's ticklish.

I can see Jigen denying it until he sees that the other person is in a ler mood. He can only deny for so long...

6. Who takes advantage of the other one getting their arms stuck while taking off their shirt?

Lupin and Fujiko are lil shits and do it to anyone they can. Including each other. It gets competitive. Jigen gets the worst of it from shrunken jackets because Goemon doesn't wear tight clothing unless it's a disguise.

(But when Goemon gets stuck in a disguise Jigen and Lupin do take advantage to fluster him.)

Zenigata may get caught in a coat and Lupin goes absolutely apeshit bananas in excitement the first time he gets the opportunity to take advantage

7. How did they discover each other's ticklishness?

HOO BOY. I like to think Lupin started most of it.

Jigen and Lupin discovered each other first. Lupin was a little too handsy and Jigen probably reacted. That or Jigen discovered that poking Lupin's sides got him to clam up in the middle of a sentence and thought (still thinks) it was cute. Whoever started it doesn't matter, because they started to tease each other a lot in private. It's a form of love language just for them.

Fujiko definitely tickled Lupin in retaliation to his perverted attacks, back when he was a huge green-jacketed gremlin. I like to think she spread the rumor that he was ticklish to his enemies after that just to get a rise out of him, but it backfires on her in episode 1 when she's tied down to the machine meant for her boy toy. Lupin holds a grudge against her for this despite the immediate karma she got. He's been through some rough times because of her.

The more Goemon hung around the boys, the more he was exposed to their tickle fights and other forms of affection. He was dragged into one unwillingly and didn't exactly say stop at any point, soooooo they continued!

Zenigata has been tickled by Lupin. So often. He tickled Lupin accidentally while doing a body search (not for the first time) and the thief started to giggle and just admitted it tickled. Next time they saw each other he couldn't WAIT to see if his arresting officer was ticklish too (like any straight criminal) and got Zeni into a ticklish predicament. It was downhill from there. They're both really sensitive and occasionally a super charged, competitive tickle fight breaks out when he's trying to arrest Lupin

8. Who can't take tickle bites/raspberries?

Lupin, despite the fact he loves to dish them out. Jigen also can't take tickle bites on his neck, and if you build up anticipation for it Goemon can't either.

Fujiko will hate you forever if you mönch on the soft spot on tummy. Something about them is a childish weakness.

Zenigata secretly loves raspberries. He can give mean ones too, but something inside him just melts

9. Who has to be tickle forced out of bed in the morning?

Jigen. Same when he's dozing on the couch with his hat over his face so he literally can't see Lupin's eyes glowing like Sans'

Depending on the night she had, I'd also say Fujiko. I can see her liking to sleep in late and be a night owl til like 6am for jobs or socializing in general (ride or die on this headcanon)

10. Who initiates tickle fights?

LUPIN 99.99% OF THE TIME IT'S CANON HE DOES IT TO LIKE EVERYONE like the gay criminal he is. No straight man tickles his arresting officer on multiple occasions.

Jigen may accidentally start them too. If he and Lupin start bickering he is sometimes the first to poke the other to lighten the mood. He tickled Zenigata to escape in an actual episode. Pretty sure he made that tickle machine for that old man in another episode (the Nazi one from Part 2). He's as bad as Lupin, just quieter about it.

Zenigata would never. Too childish, no matter how touch starved he may be from spending a lot of nights alone. But an accidental poke or swipe when searching one of the gang? "Stop squirming. I'm checking for strapped gadgets." He says as the accidental pokes and swipes feel more calculated than not. If he happens to breathe on someone's ear or has to squeeze the hips, because that's where Lupin's body disguise ends, it's all official business only! "I'm not tickling you, I'm scratching to see if it's skin or plastic this time!" There are cameras and eyes watching when he chases them most of the time. Maybe if there weren't, he would he more honest about his ticklish body searches.

11. Who gives up in tickle fights?

Lupin and Zenigata lose most of the time. Lol. Lupin gets overwhelmed very easily by it and Zenigata is just too ticklish to handle it for very long

Jigen and Fujiko are the champs of their tickle fights. Jigen is a massive lee and Fujiko knows their tickle spots from experience, so she's 85% ler

Goemon is 50/50 depending on whether or not they're ALL ganging up on him, but he is usually prideful and refuses to give up when it's just Jigen and Lupin. Plus, he miiiiight be fond of softer tickles like belly rubs. Not that you'd ever hear it out loud.

12. Who is in danger of getting hurt when attacking the other?

Usually anyone who tickles Goemon one on one haha! His reflexes are dangerous.

Jigen will also threaten to shoot someone if they don't stop when he says stop

Zenigata could actually shoot someone if they tickle him in the middle of a chase. Especially if it's a serious offense, like terrorist-level. It would never happen, but if Zeni is angry enough and on the hunt, tickling is very inappropriate.

Lupin just squirms and jerks around if he isn't restrained, so his attackers could get a kick to the gut or punch in the face if they're not careful

Fujiko is deadlier after she is tickled. If it is an enemy taking advantage of her she either robs or kills them, or both.

13. Who always provokes the other into tickling them and how?

Had to edit this one in, sorry! I answered some of them up there but:

Lupin and Jigen provoke the other the most often. They're so close, and it's a fun way to get some energy out. Jigen will usually use word play to hint that he's in a lee mood ("Wanna help me with some endurance training?") while Lupin will annoy the heck out of Jigen and leave certain areas exposed on his body. He'll splay himself across Jigen or Goemon's laps like a cat. If he sees Fujiko going to tickle a foot, he lets her. He has a tickle machine somewhere. He says it all without saying anything.

They're usually so touchy with each other that once it spreads to Goemon, he doesn't have to ask for tickles at all. He gets flustered and red in the face and doesn't leave if they start, and that's all they need.

Hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you have any ideas of your own, the tickle part of the fandom is too small for how much we get in a great anime!

[diagonal-queen]

dia entirely forgot it was thungo thursday until mayoi reminded her and she dropped everything to watch the ep. here are all her thoughts, live-documented, in chronological order (apologies for this):

NOT RANPO CHILLING LIKE SHIT'S SWEET WHEN THE CAR HE WAS IN JUST FUCKING CRASHED LMAOOOOO

ranpo is so small next to minoura. he's so tiny and cute i just wanna cuddle him sm (and yes i am a little taller than him- height means nothing to me. we all know where the rest of his inches went YKNOW WHAT IM SAYIN YA FEEL ME)

'the police of this nation are idiots' yes minoura you're absolutely correct but consider this: the police of every nation on god's green earth are idiots

isn't it amazing how it was written in this magical reality-bending book that nobody would believe in the agency's innocence and in a couple minutes worth of running his mouth, ranpo just...undid it?? for like hundreds of police officers??? the sheer power of this man

god i forgot just how fucking fantastic this intro is. tbh this is probably my favourite intro of all of them. the colours and imagery and the chaos of it all MWAH (also kishow voice mm)

bones. was this panel too hard to animate properly?? did you read the fucking manga bones?? do you HATE US BONES??????

i could listen to ranpo talk for HOURS. literally hours, in a language i don't even speak, about anything he wanted, for hours, and i wouldn't get bored. his voice just...*kicks feet and giggles*

i missed you tecchou <3 please keep cooking for fukuchi. you're doing great sweaty xx

some loser: 'when do you suppose a life ends?' even bigger loser: 'when it becomes unable to adapt to change' fukuchi on his celestia ludenberg arc ok

IT'S BEEN LIKE ONE FUCKING WEEK AND THE UN IS ALREADY MAKING AN ANTI-TERRORIST GROUP??? THEY'RE FULLY READY TO FIND AND EXECUTE THE AGENCY MEMBERS IN UNDER A WEEK?? THE ICC LEGALLY CAN'T EVEN DETAIN CRIMINALS ON THEIR OWN IRL

i wish people reacted to seeing my posts on their dash the same way that the united nations reacted when fukuchi appeared onstage

congressmen will excuse mass shootings of gay ppl and then have shirtless fukuchi posters hanging above their beds where they half-heartedly fuck their wives and go to sleep before the thought of helping her also cum even crosses their mind

wait. *pauses and zooms in*. WAIT. YOU'RE TEL

YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT

TH

THAT ABRAHAM STOKER WAS THICC?????? THAT HE HAD A DUMPY???? THAT HE HAD SOME JUNK IN THAT TRUNK???? ALL THAT ASS INSIDE THOSE JEANS???? CURSE YOU FUKUCHI OUCHI FOR RIDDING THE WORLD OF BRAM'S CAKES

thinking about it, doesn't the decay of angels sound like a really cool name for an operatic metal band??

fukuchi: *enters room* ranpo: YOOOOOO STEPDAD GUESS WHO'S AN ENEMY OF STATE :DDDDDDD

fukuchi really is like 'you havent changed at all, boy' ranpo is literally eight years older than me. if he's a boy i'm primordial soup

fukuchi also said that ranpo's title of 'excellent detective' is self claimed. the thousands of people whose lives ranpo's probably saved must all be like 'say sike rn'

ranpo trusting fukuchi solely because the president said he trusts him. crying screaming throwing up ranpo GIVE ME ONE CHANCE (that's right guys we're back to this again)

fukuchi thinks he's hot shit cus he can jump high?? well my ocs can also do that fukuchi. sucks to be basic huh

IT'S NOT RANPO'S FAULT HE WAS BORN LATER AND THUS MET FUKUZAWA LATER??????? FUCK OFF FUKUCHI (also i love the way they're sitting they're all so silly mwehehehe)

omg ranpo also commented on the 'boy' thing lmaooo he and i are so good for each other <3 if only he'd give me a chance... </3

i wonder what portion of atsushi's budget goes towards emergency ramune. also imagine someone caring enough about you that they always keep one of your favourite snacks on you in case you get hungry or something. that's so cute i can't <3333

imagine coming up with a complex plan, twelve or so years in the making, to end the world, all because u asked ur friend out like thirty years ago and he said no T-T

fukuchi: *tilts neck* *minecraft skelly noise*

oh atsushi. i know other people won't like me saying this but you're so hot and i want to do the sex with you <3333333

wow bones. you've outdone yourself. this has to be the best fisheye yet- maybe even beating lucy's fisheye for how terrifying it is. i'm genuinely speechless

AKUTAGAWA

omg atsushi's speech on how loneliness is his biggest fear and how much he cares about his loved ones (kinnie moment), and the one thing he needs, truly needs right now is someone to fight alongside him to save all that he has to lose and the world as he knows it, and then akutagawa appears? soulmates. i mean it's not even like this is a surprise to me as someone who read the manga but, like, it's different when i'm watching it. soulmates. soulmates soulmates soulmates

and that's a wrap for tonight's edition of dia's thungo thursdays!! be sure to tune in for next week and see them cry tears of hopelessness and despair!!

[psychoticwillgraham]

well. I’ve got an admirer at work now lmao we have three guys from the local drug/felon rehab (they get clean and to avoid prison time, they work a part time job here at the nutrition center and they’re all felons) who do the floor and kitchen (two on the floor, one in the kitchen), and the new kitchen guy has a massive crush on me that’s so obvious and actually kinda adorable. he constantly tells me I’m pretty every day, asks where I am if I don’t come in to help and acts sad when I’m not here, and will initiate conversations with me even when I’m busy as fuck, especially on Thursday bc I pick all the fried chicken off the bone that day, just so he can hear my voice.

he’s also told moose, my bff here, that he loves the way I talk (which makes me feel a bit better bc I’m super insecure about my speech patterns and mega gay sounding voice) and thinks I’m the sweetest, kindest, and coolest person here. and he’s EXTREMELY obvious about the flirting and I try not to flirt back bc I’m aro but I know he won’t understand what that means, so I try not to accidentally lead him on. he’s also aware that I dress butch as fuck and thinks the butcher I look, the cuter I am. I’m just not used to being complimented/flirted with this much and it’s so bizarre to me honestly bc nobody’s ever been this blatant about their crush on me before.

mom was also being a dick about him bc ‘you better not date him because he’s been a drug addict and is a felon, and you don’t want to deal with that shit’ and like bestie. that’s just being a massive dick. i’m technically a recovering addict, only with alcohol, and I know the risks of being friends with ex addicts and I’m fine with it. and just bc he’s a felon (drug possession I think) doesn’t mean ppl shouldn’t give him a second chance. you’d think that since she sat in on all those recovery meetings that she’d be a little more sympathetic, but nope. she’s just a cunt.

[percontaion-points]

Clawless chapters 5 & 6

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 5

“She drugged me.” I tried to sit up straight, but my spine felt like it was made out of putty. A wave of fear washed over me. I remembered the drug Klein had used to make me relaxed. Pliant. It had stolen all but the smallest movement, and I’d been totally at his mercy. “That bitch drugged me!”

 “A Valium. You freaked out in the burger joint.” 

“I didn’t!” 

“She was worried, so she gave you something to help you sleep.”

I would ask “You do see how this makes you the bad guy also, right?” But this is a book full of would-be rapists, so like… I’m not quite sure that something like “slipping Vail a Valium” even registers on the author’s radar as being a shit thing to do to somebody. 

“She’s dangerous and unpredictable. You see her again, you remember she’s not family.” 

The word hit me hard. Sin had pretty much called herself a freak, and drugged me without my knowledge, but who was he to warn me off? Was he really any better? He talked about trust and always being there, but real family didn’t need guarantees. Family just was. They were people you knew, right down in your bones. They didn’t have to make time for you, or treat you like a burden. And they didn’t keep secrets that could turn your life inside out. 

100% this!

He said something to a hovering guard…

So he was… levitating????

“Not his call,” Gabriel Michaels nodded at the window behind me. “You might be a Marrow, but the West wolves are part of the Marshall pack. And this is their school, too.”

Chapter 5 summary: Vail is torn between relief that her dad has come to pick her up, but also her seething anger that this man who abandoned her for 6 years has suddenly shown back up again. He also randomly says that Sin put a Valium into her food, because she was freaking out too much. (Talk about goddamned trust issues.) 

He then has the audacity to say all of this shit about “you can only trust family”. Which she finds funny, because real family wouldn’t goddamned abandon you in a situation like with Driftwood and Darkness. FOR SIX YEARS. However, he’s of the opinion that his blood relation to her doesn’t matter, and it’s only the years he spent being her father that matter. Yet again, Vail can only think about those missing six years, when he’d disappeared on her. She thought he was dead. 

He then says that he still needs more time, and wants to put her back into the school. Vail is livid, because again… Six fucking years, and this is literally the best he can come up with? The rapist school full of rapists? She protests, claiming that now that Jasper killed his father, he won’t allow her back in. But he says that her actual family name holds more weight than she thinks. 

He also randomly gives Vail her birth certificate, but I’m not quite sure what the significance for it is, other than to find out the actual surname of her mother, and her bio-dad. 

Chapter 6

Chapter Six – Reed

LITERALLY NOBODY FUCKING WANTS THIS. STOP. 

He was the gentlest of my alphas and looked like he shat butter curls from his ass.

Yeah hi. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN.

Just as long as she never learned my part in her downfall on the night of the Hunter Moon.

Chapter 6 summary: We jump over to Reed’s POV, who was a random alpha mentioned in the first book, but he was literally unimportant, so don’t worry about it. Anyway, I guess since Jasper is too busy pissing over everything, Vail’s fake-dad decided to dump Vail with Reed instead. Daddy-dearest says that Vail was given a sedative, so she’ll need help walking. Vail is barely out of the Hummer when dad hits the gas. 

Most of the rest of the chapter is Reed fuming over Vail’s birth certificate. When the names of Vail’s bio-parents were dropped, it meant completely and utterly nothing to the readers. However, Reed now tells us that her mother comes from that alpha grandfather that Vail was warned is exceptionally violent. And that her father is from a different pack; it sounds like real star-crossed lovers bullshit. However, this is Reed’s problem, since she is technically pack now, and he’s under orders to protect her. 

What’s more is that the lab confirmed that she’s an omega, so they have to move her into the omega dorms. There’s a security guard there, who gets huffy when Reed shows up with Vail. Says that needs to talk “to his alpha”, but that means Jasper. Reed bluffs the entire thing, and manages to get Vail into her room for the night, at least. 

[tortan-saarbruccan]

JusticeLeague0815

YTA. I mean there's definitely some shit going down in your life right now but your "friend" is definitely right in saying that you don't trust him. After all you came here instead of just talking to him. Especially because it seems like he is the one to always save you from the shit going down around you. Cant believe I'm giving out relationship advice to people on the internet now but just. talk. to. him.

wrtlbrmpft

i totally agree, OP's friend seems to care very much for him and by keeping him away he's already hurting him. Also are you sure those mysterious men that are after you really exist?

themanthemyththelegend

dude did you not read the text. op literally said hes been attaked twice already. also is noone gonna talk about the fact op literally confessed to comitting a crims?

wrtlbrmpft

Start to write properly and maybe then I will give a shit.

10 weitere Antworten

IchundmeinHoelzer (original poster)

Nobody asked about your fucking relationship advice. So how about you just shut your face. Also Leo and I are good friends so you can shove your quotation marks up your ass.

JusticeLeague0815

touchy touchy

13 weitere Antworten

fussballhoernchen80

I know that's you, schürk. And yes, you are definitely the asshole here, even more so than usual. I don't know how he puts up with you every day. Probably a good bit of trauma-bonding happening.

PS: Du bringst am Montag besser Hörnchen mit, sonst zeige dem Subjekt deines Usernamens diesen thread.

igotinvested

omg. do you know op personally? is it all of that true about his father? so your not the friend, right? do you also work in the mafia?

mansplainer1000

you cant really believe that, that's just some rando who thought he was funny

igotinvested

maybe you are blind or dumb but they used a name. a name. they know ops name ergo they know him

mansplainer1000

you ever heard of people lying on the internet? god, are you naive

99+ weitere Antworten

ERIS

you couldn't pay me to touch the above thread with a ten-foot pole

markdieter

In Anbetracht des Namens ist diese Aussage recht erotisch.

ERIS

wtf???

Bertelsmann Stiftung

Guten Tag, ich bin ein sogenannter "Bot" der Bertelsmann Stiftung für Meinungsforschung und wurde erschaffen um mit ihrer Hilfe die Welt noch kreativer, effizienter, teamfähiger, begeisterungsfähiger und kreativer zu gestalten.

Wo kaufen sie ihre Hörnchen?

a. Im Supermarkt als Aufbackware

b. Im Supermarkt am Backautomaten

c. Bei einer großen Bäckereikette

d. Bei der Bäckerei ihres Vertrauens

e. Ich backe meine Hörnchen selbst (falsche Antwort)

Vielen Dank für ihre Teilnahme.

masterofdisaster

hoooly sh*t, how did you get a blank space in your username?

2 weitere Antworten

GHive

masterofdisaster

YES. Half of OPs problems would probably solve themselves if he and his friend just boned.

GHive

freudenreichesKieselsteinchen

same

igotinvested

Like? OP's friend really said he'd go to the end of the world with him. If that isn't love...

mansplainer1000

delusional, how about you go out and touch some grass?

cynicalbarracuda

says the pot to the kettle

45 weitere Antworten

ERIS

ok, but like, OP's friend is basically the textbook definition of 'I can fix him', right?

iamboatingthem

asgshkfjrbfjfjcns

iamboatingthem

wait. the ops name is Schürk, right? and @fussballhoernchen80 said something about 'the subject of his username', that would be the other guy, right? so we got two names and a ship... The question is now: is it Schölzer or Hörk?

IchundmeinHoelzer (original poster)

I don't know what boats have to do with this shit but i don't recall asking for your opinion on my relationship status. So fuck right off.

masterofdisaster

relationship status, you say? Well that's easy: the biggest 'it's complicated' you'll ever see.

whyamihere666

ngl they do seem pretty close...

igotinvested

Is noone else gonna point out that OP probably is mafioso? I mean his father stole money which OP now found, there are multiple men after him who want the money and instead of going to the police he just keeps it? Not to forget that his father faked being murdered by his own son and committed suicide! The question now is: Does OP's friend know that OP's in the mafia? Because if he doesn't i can totally understand OP's refusal to talk to him about it. Very sweet of him to protect him from that.

mansplainer1000

Should have known I would find one of you in this thread...

igotinvested

i don't know what your implying there and i don't know why you care

orthographie-checker

*you're

99+ weitere Antworten

masterofdisaster

the real question is: what is going on with @igotinvested and @mansplainer1000 and who will get the rights to the inevitable 200k slowburn, enemies-to-lovers plot?

igotinvested

har har, i dont know what the dude wants from me

whyamihere666

seems pretty superficial of you to assume it's a man

masterofdisaster

tbh only a man would use he/him pronouns for a person they don't know anything about

also not so sure this is the right word

cynicalbarracuda

dudes literally called himself mansplainer

deancas4life

me, every time i see @igotinvested and @mansplainer1000: RIP Steve Yockey

igotinvested

Guys, did you see what @fussballhoernchen80 wrote? We now know OP is called Schürk and is probably German. And OP called his friend Leo and as @iamboatingthem pointed out, Hoelzer ist probably also a reference to his friend. So we can assume his friend is called Leo Hoelzer, right?

mansplainer1000

god, are you still here? how many times do i habe to tell you, this is just a big, fat load of bullshit. also that was dutch not german

masterofdisaster

*cue romantic music playing*

mansplainer1000

what the fuck is your problem, man

99+ weitere Antworten

asumfufulna

i dunno, i think the dude just lives in a movie

funniestangelinthegarrison

more like a series

funniestangelinthegarrison

a series of unfortunate events

99+ weitere Antworten

there's a part two now

Am I the asshole for not telling my best friend about the money my dad stole 25 years ago?

My (32m) best friend (32m) recently figured out that I have found the money that my now-deceased father stole about 25 years ago during a bank heist.  About 16  years ago my best friend hit my father with a shovel that sent him into a coma for 15 years probably saving my life in the process. He then woke up about a year ago, killed himself and made it look like a murder, framing me for his own suicide. My best friend helped me prove my innocence. However, a lot of men know about my father and the money he stole and are currently trying to get their hands on it. They already attacked me when I was in prison after I got arrested for my father's alleged murder.  Since then I got attacked another time, but I was easily able to handle it.

I know that my best friend just wants to protect me after everything that we went through together but I don’t want him to get involved even more than he already is. He told me he would go to the end of the world with me but I really don’t want him to. It will only get him hurt. I will only get him hurt. But now he is extremely mad at me for not telling him about the money and actively lying to him when he was asking what was going on. He accused me of only trusting myself. Am I the asshole?

Edit: My best friend's feelings for me or my feelings for him are not relevant to this conversation. Stop arguing about that.  

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

you cannot tell me Rengoku doesn’t like a lady with a fat ass, fat tits and fat tummy that cooks like a motherfucker. Arms that are way too strong from kneading dough, that man would be IN HEAVEN

Omgggggggggg

Keep in mind that idk shit about Demon Slayer but i KNOW Rengoku loves to eat so ofc he'd love a woman who knows how to cook so obviously he would love a girl with extra meat on her bones sksksk.

Ok listen i have no clue what the plot of this show is but hear me out: imagine Rengoku frequently stops at inns for food and to rest for the night as he travels on his missions, and one of those inns happens to be run by you. It's pretty small but it's popular bc everyone enjoys your cooking. You're always in charge of the kitchen, no one else is allowed inside. ANYWAYS Rengoku stops by one night and is so in awe of his dinner that he insists on meeting the cook so he can compliment them in person, but instead of the big beefy man he expected he meets you instead. I think he's very honest so he immediately goes "wow! Who knew that such a beautiful woman could also be such an extraordinary cook?" And he continues to compliment the delicious meal you've made and alludes to wanting to marry such a talented woman as yourself and the whole time you're like? Okay? All u had was rice and veggies and tofu my guy calm down sksksk

Basically you brush him off as an over eccentric guy who just really likes food and you don't give any weight to his words bc plenty of ppl compliment your food. But this guy keeps showing up to eat your food and try to convince you to marry him bc he would protect you and cherish you and blahblahblah and you're just trynna make some dumplings, who tf is this guy that keeps bursting into your kitchen to ask for your hand in marriage? Weirdo behavior sksksk

UGH but imagine finally giving in and being like "if i let you smash will you stop bothering me?" And he says he will but he knows he wont skskks but oh my GOD, he lays pipe down like nobody's business, he fucks you and worships your body like a goddamn queen, just squeezing every inch of chubby flesh and rambling about how you were made for a fighter like him and so on and so forth. Dick is so good you can't help but spread your legs every time he visits and let him use your body to decompress. It's not "official" but in his mind you're already his wife sksksk ain't no way he's letting a pretty thing like you run off with somebody else, he's too obsessed with you and your body and your cooking 💕

[marquisoforder]

Ranking the Nine Princes of Hell from TSC from the least to most sexy

(Technically 8 cause Lucifer is just a chair but eh)

8) Coming in at dead last we have Asmodeus cause I hate this generic white man energy he’s giving here. He’s the demon of Lust cause the only way he could get bitches was by tricking and manipulating them. He’s serving Frankenstein’s Monster had a baby with a CEO from a yaoi hentai realness here. The Worst of the Demons? More like the Worst Dressed of the demons! Black tie with a white suite? 🤮Sir are you out of your goddamn mind? Did Raphael bonk you on the head until your fashion sense left? -1/10 you are simply hideous sir

7) Coming in at number 7 we have Mammon looking like Jeff Bezos’s capitalistic wet dream. How are you literally all about money but still look tacky as hell? This man shows up to the MET Gala in a tux with no effort whatsoever I can just feel it in my bones. All these eyes but you still couldn’t locate a better fit. I was gonna ask why he looks constipated but then I read the part where he eats blood and gold for every meal so he’s obviously suffering from indigestion. (And it shows king, it really shows) 0/10 - Do fucking better and get a plastic surgery or a proper diet with all the money you are hoarding up

6) At number six we’ve got Belphegor. Honestly I’d have ranked him much higher if it wasn’t for the goat skull situation going on there like what’s up with that king? Is this a political statement? Or are you just taking covid precautions? Either way I can’t rank you higher than six with that face. (Even tho the body is definitely 1. Like you mean to tell me a demon with abs like those is the demon of laziness? He ain’t lazy if he’s grinding in the gym which he apparently is cause he’s legit shredded.) also kinda cute that you were married to a mortal. Maybe if they pegged you you wouldn’t have denounced the institution of marriage. (Try it next time. I’m certainly up if you are 👀 haha jk unless 😳) 5/10 - Sorry about your goat head

5) On the position of number five we have the one and only Leviathan! He’s not a fallen angel! He’s not like other girls! He’s edgy, he’s sensitive, he’s sad, nobody understands him. He kins Ebony Dementia Darkness Raven Way. But in a sexy way. I like what you’ve done with the hair. Paired with completely black eyes he’s essentially the perfect Scene Boy™️ from back in the day. He would have been Tumblr famous. Even now he has the capacity to become one of Tumblr’s sexy man (derogatory) cause he has the same vibe as Jotun Loki. 6/10 - No Comments cause I’m worried he might actually just eat me.

4) Belial is number four cause while he’s definitely good looking there’s something about him that screams I’d Mansplain Your Own Period To You. Probably invested in Bitcoin and trying to overheat the planet to death. Not gonna lie whatever he’s doing with his hands is actually giving model, it’s giving Timothy chalamet, it’s giving white boy who paints nails and wears rings and doesn’t shut up about it. The hair is actually really cool and I wish my hair looked that effortlessly good. Whatever hair products you stole from Brad Mondo, I want some rn 😤 6.5/10 - idk still kinda basic tho

3) Moving on to the top three we have Azazel! I liked him when we saw him in TMI. He’s giving fuck boy archie andrews here. Probably says baby girl unironically. Are his pants sagging or are they two toned? That’s a secret he’ll never tell. The reason he was cast down from hell is actually because god was jealous of that one lock of hair that falls perfectly across his forehead. His nails are done, his hair is perfect, his abs look rock hard. All in all has that all-American rugged good looks to him. 7/10- red hair actually looks good on you king keep it up

2) Our runner up is none other than Astaroth! Look at that serve! Look me in the eyes and tell me this man doesn’t belong on the cover of a cheap erotica novel about fallen angels!!! The glance downwards, the wings bared, the contrast of the red cloth with the black wings!! He did not come to play because for Astaroth, the world is a runaway and he’s a model. The luscious hair and the sexy torso scars truly sets this man apart. I’m not big on selling my soul but for you king, I’d fr put that shit on eBay for 50 cents. You think you were misjudged and pleads your case? Lemme be your defense attorney king, I’ll fight God in a Denny’s parking lot for you no questions asked. 9/10 - Unlike Belphegor I still believe in the institution of marriage so ahahaha 👀😌 iykwim

1) And finally our top boy from Hell is… none other than Samael himself! That cute lil feather on the hat paired with that Jack sparrow red scarf really shows he knows how to work a fit. The rolled up sleeves got me 👀 at his forearms like I’m a Victorian man seeing a bit of ankle. This demon legit looks like a man young Taylor Swift would write a song about. He’s young, he’s hip, he probably has a fashion tiktok and does mad transitions from outfit to outfit. 10/10 wouldn’t do this man’s sexiness justice cause he’s simply too sexy for such a trivial scale.