#also. moments specific to my production that drive me insane include

[theflannelwizard]

Y’know. Bud and Ned being gay started as a joke between me and my friend who plays Ned. And it still is a joke at least in part but uh. I kinda think there’s something to how they’re always together and their lines/patterns of speech tend to echo each other and how the production I’m in never has them not standing next to each other EXCEPT during the revival at which point we intentionally play it as gay anxiety and “That does it. Someone’s got to kill this thing.” and just. Man. And I don’t say they’re in love as a way of romanticizing them as people. They’re not good people. They’re not necessarily EVIL people, either, just very easily influenced and afraid and selfish. But even if we say they’re not cruel, they’re still not good people. They’re not kind or open-minded or generous or anything. And yet. Here I am kinda thinking it doesn’t have to be a joke. Maybe they can be ignorant close-minded occasionally violent people who are also in gay love.

[rayshippouuchiha]

Yamada: so how did you and izuku start dating

Aizawa: I saw him crush a watermelon with his thighs and I accidentally said out loud “oh god I wish that were me right now” and here we are now

~The way this immediately and completely ate my entire brain~

Of three things Aizawa Shouta is absolutely sure:

One, he simply was not built for operating during the daylight hours. Nighttime really is where it's at in his opinion. The general lack of crowds and eye-searing sunlight just can't be beaten. (Dusk and dawn hours also get a pass but they're both on thin ice.)

Two, the beach is a sandy hell-scape whose only redeeming factor is the convenient access it provides to the eldritch horror that is the ocean aka the place he'll doubtlessly end up drowning himself when he finally, and according to Hizashi inevitably, snaps and runs gibbering mad into the abyss.

And three, he's absolutely and irrevocably cursed. He's being singled out and punished from on high by the gods themselves. His name is writ large across the cosmos in mockery. There is a cosmic "kick me" sign taped to his spiritual back and Shouta's going to hunt his former student Sero down and give him detention for life for encouraging his family's patron god to put it there.

By this point it's really the only logical explanation.

Which, as a card-carrying atheist, he's pretty sure is saying something about the depth of his feelings regarding his current circumstances.

Because there's no other explanation for why or how he's managed to find himself in this current situation.

The situation being, of course, Shouta, in full hero gear, standing in the hot sun on a pristine sandy beach, surrounded by screaming fans as he provides extra security and crowd control for the 20th Annual Heroic Sukiwari Charity Drive.

Shouta has seen hell and it is both Ms. Joke's open mic night and this exact moment right here.

Because, again, he's absolutely 100% cursed.

And the avatar of said curse is, obviously, his soon-to-be ex-best friend who somehow roped him into this entire thing.

Because some people say divine retribution when talking about cosmic revenge plots but Shouta tends to just says Yamada Hizashi. The two are, in many ways, interchangeable.

Shouta's going to put purify salts in all of Hizashi's hair products and also his sugar jar and possibly his energy drinks the next chance he gets.

Because if he never sees another shirtless pro-hero or another watermelon again in his life it'll be too soon.

He's pretty sure he has permanent hearing damage from all of the screaming and screeching the crowd's been doing since this thing started.

And if, after all these years of friendship with the personification of a megaphone, watching a bunch of pro's crush watermelons with nothing but their personal strength on a beach to raise money for various charities is what finally destroys his hearing Shouta is going to shave Hizashi bald before he finally embraces sweet death.

Or enacts Nezu's birthday plans and becomes a supervillain.

The jury's honestly still out at this point.

Shouta does his best to shut out the screaming behind him as one of the cameramen slides up beside him, getting a better angle on the stage as Hizashi, who's currently screeching about Miruko's performance, practically dances across the sand in front of where Shouta's standing.

"Wow, wow, wow," Present Mic chants as he dramatically fans himself, "that was one on heart-stopping, hare-raising show. Let's give it up for everyone's favorite bad, bad, bunny, Miruko!"

For her part, Miruko just struts off the small stage with a nonchalant wave to the crowd, her tiny white bikini in place and the pulverized remains of the half dozen watermelons she'd dropped kicked into soup left behind her.

"But don't lose that rhythm yet listeners," Mic announces gleefully. "Because we've got one more hero set to take the stage! So, without further ado, it's the moment I know a lot of you have been waiting for, myself included if we're being honest. The pièce de résistance of our little shindig, the showstopper himself, the one, the only, the #1 Can Do Hero Dekiru."

The crowd is absolutely deafening.

And, for once, Shouta has to grudgingly admit that he can't actually blame them.

Shirtless, sculpted shoulders and tight abs on display thanks to his low sitting and almost criminally short green swim shorts, and with his trademark bashful smile in place, Dekiru trots out from behind the curtained-off area with a crate of watermelons resting on his shoulder like it's no big deal.

Shouta's pretty sure someone to his immediate right faints but considering they're not currently a trample risk he ignores it.

But the casual show of strength with no quirk use in sight is more than a bit impressive.

For all that people, romance specifically, and attraction in general, have all been things to be considered on a firm case-by-case basis for Shouta, even he has to admit that Dekiru is ... captivating.

Rather drastically so for Shouta considering he's never actually met the man before in person.

Though Shouta does feel like he almost knows him on some level considering the fact that it really would take an act of the actual gods to get Yagi to shut up about his erstwhile protege during staff meetings.

Dekiru waves his free hand at the crowd as he sets his crate of watermelons down on the stage.

"Show us what you've got!" Mic demands from a few feet to Shouta's left. "And let's give him some encouragement listeners!"

The crowd starts up a loud and steady chant of "De~ki~ru!" as the hero pulls his first watermelon out and begins his set.

With an effortless flex of muscles, Dekiru digs his fingers into the watermelon and wrenches it completely in two.

Shouta reaches up to tug at the top of his uniform, relishing the small sip of cool air it grants him.

Shoulders and biceps flexing, another watermelon meets its end between Dekiru's palms.

Shouta really needs to add a water bottle to his utility belt because hydration is important. Or so he's been repeatedly told.

"Those hands, those muscles," Mic groans dramatically. "He really is the Can Do Hero!"

Cheeks noticeably flushed, Dekiru sits down on the stage and fits a watermelon between thick, toned thighs.

His hips twist, those thighs flex, and the watermelon cracks, spilling juice and sweet pink flesh all over Dekiru's lap.

"Oh god," Shouta can't help but say, "I wish that was me right now."

On stage Dekiru's eyes go wide as his attention somehow abruptly zero's in on Shouta.

It's at that moment that Shouta becomes aware of the deafening silence that's fallen over the beach.

Head-turning agonizingly slowly to the left, Shouta's confronted with the sight of Mic, microphone in hand, standing shoulder to shoulder with him.

His sunglasses are askew and he's staring at Shouta with a look on his face that's one part horror and one part unholy glee.

As a matter of fact, the entire beach is staring at him in much the same way.

For a moment Shouta just freezes, body going still at having so much attention turned in his direction.

This ... was not the turn he was expecting the day to take by far.

His first instinct is to, honestly, use his scarf to slingshot himself directly into the sun so his soul can be cleansed with cosmic fire.

But then ...

"Ah," Dekiru speaks up from on the stage, one hand ruffling the back of his hair and cheeks darker than before, "maybe we could go on a date first though? If you'd like?"

There's suddenly a part of Shouta that doesn't actually want to delete himself from existence via self-immolation.

And there's an even large part that doesn't want to outright reject Dekiru's seemingly sincere offer.

Because, when it all comes down to it, Dekiru seems to be, by all accounts, what passes for exactly Shouta's type.

Whip-smart if his very public arrest record and tendency to argue online and on the air with people he disagrees with is anything to go by.

Cute, with that dark green hair and sharp undercut, matching wide eyes, and a face sprinkled liberally with freckles.

Leanly built and small enough that Shouta's sure he could move him around easily but obviously muscular enough to be able to put up just the right amount of resistance in the right situation.

And, above all else, if the stories are to be believed, obviously some degree of batshit insane.

More than one story Yagi had told during breaks had Shouta questioning if the man had imported special American demons back to Japan and then stuffed them all into the deceptively charming and approachable-looking hero that is Dekiru.

So there's really only one logical way to proceed forward in this situation.

Shouta grins.

Several people in the crowd around him step back.

He's pretty sure he hears someone start reciting a prayer.

But Dekiru just blushes, eyes locked on Shouta's and teeth tugging at his lower lip.

"Hope you like coffee," Shouta finally says into the breathless silence that's fallen over them, "and cats."

Dekiru lights up, a smile brighter than the sun and twice as deadly blossoming across his face.

Just off of Shouta's side, Hizashi's busy having some kind of hysterical seizure.

Around them the crowd is going absolutely feral.

Yagi's going to birth actual kittens in the middle of the staff room when he finds out about this.

Shouta can't wait.

[onebizarrekai]

v3′s art is comically terrible for a professionally distributed game in a series: a compilation

in this not-essay I will list all of the mistakes and problems I have spotted in v3′s art. don’t worry, it’s entirely for fun and I’m doing this on a whim, so please feel free to not take this seriously but also it’s hilarious and embarrassing how ridiculous this is like what happened did they speedrun the whole production or what

see, there are some things you can take as meta like “they made it bad on purpose to allude to the downfall of tv shows that have been on air for much too long” but I have a very strong feeling this is not the case due to the nature of some of these errors

disclaimer, the more I study this art, the more I fear that the artists were underpaid and underslept, so if this is in fact the case, I am so sorry to all of them but also I’m going to make fun of the art anyway

anyway let’s get started!

if you study this image for longer than 5 seconds, you will see that kaede is the only one fully shaded and keebo is literally just his normal sprite pasted into the image. every other character is just an ordinary ref, hence most of them facing the exact same direction with neutral expressions on their faces. it looks like a bad edit, and is probably one of the worst pieces of art in the game. it kind of gets better from here on, but my roasting will not.

with that out of the way, here’s the problem that officially bothers me the most and clarifies my viewpoint of “this is not meta and an actual lack of company communication”

this freaking cg, which seems normal at a glance, but some wiseass was like “oh, kaede is a girl, so obviously she’s going to be shorter than the Male Protagonist™” ah, that’s funny. because if you look at the character bios, kaede is, in fact, one inch taller than shuichi and not like 6 inches shorter as she is shown here.

also shuichi’s shoulder is disproportionate and horrendous and he looks vaguely like a jojo character, but I wasn’t even thinking about that until right now.

thanks guys, 50% of the fandom who has never bothered to check these bios thinks that kaede is like 5′3 (did the developers really put so little thought into her to the point where drawing her correctly in the game didn’t even matter??)

also I would like to point out that, even though this isn’t related to the art itself, yes, a character kaede’s size being only 117 lbs is unfeasible, but this applies to literally every character in danganronpa ever and it’s not new news that it’s unrealistic

update: someone in the tags informed me that in versions of the game that use centimeters, like the japanese version, kaede is actually shorter than shuichi, which just adds another thing to the list of weird decisions the localization team made for no reason. that said, after confirming this, kaede is 167 cm in the original, while shuichi is 171 cm, which are approximately 5′6 and 5′7 respectively, but one inch is still nowhere near as drastic as it is depicted above. (in spite of this, I would rather depict kaede as slightly taller, so I’m probably going to keep doing that.)

the journey continues!

bro if you want kaede to have shoulder length hair then stick to it to begin with

you can pretend this is at an angle all you want but they definitely committed the shorter kaede sin a second time

wait a goddamn second.

DO YOU SEE THIS

no………… it wasn’t kaede who shrank. it was shuichi who got taller

speaking of which, can we talk about how shady the perspective is in this elevator pic? look at shuichi and kokichi in comparison to kaede. kokichi, who is canonically 7 inches (edit: or 5, if you’re loyal to the original) shorter than kaede, looks taller than kaede. he’s growing too. what steroids are these gays taking

running into the room, electric boogaloo: I don’t think tsumugi is supposed to be the same height as kokichi

gonta… gonta you’re lookin a bit like a jojo character there

I love how kaito’s head looks kind of like it was pasted onto his body. why is he the same size as shuichi? shouldn’t he be high school bully size or something? his torso is teensy

ah yes, white angie.

I love this cg but why is shuichi’s right hand so much bigger than his left hand

I also love how this cg looks like they literally took pictures of trees and pasted them into the background, especially on the left. the shadows are so weird, especially closer to the ceiling, it’s difficult for me to believe they didn’t do exactly that.

return of Enlarged shuichi

puberty update: kokichi is now taller than shuichi in spite of shuichi never missing leg day. what crimes will he commit

I have to mention it, guys. this has to be one of the worst danganronpa cgs. kokichi’s facial proportions look atrocious. look at the way his face sticks out like his jaw is in the wrong place. his scarf is a pasted texture. that’s it. this moment was so iconic but the cg just looks so… so… off. like something is terribly wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it.

you know what? let’s get into that ‘pasted texture’ thing.

let’s imagine you’re an artist working on a professional game. you’re assigned to draw cgs of kokichi ouma, who has a checkered scarf from hell. sure, it will be terrible to draw, but you only have to draw it once at a time! plus, perspective is pretty important, right? can you be bothered? nah, actually. let’s just copy paste a checkered pattern into the cg, because I’m sure nobody will notice. it’ll blend right in with the other cgs that someone actually put effort into drawing his scarf in, right?

no. the answer is no and I very much noticed. this genuinely looks terrible and I would understand taking a shortcut like that in fanart or even an indie game but this is a full price pc and console distributed game

(an addition: look at kokichi’s TINY HANDS in that last one)

meanwhile, they straight up forgot to color in kokichi’s scarf in this cg.

dude. I forgot about whatever the hell this cg was. anyway look at keebo please just look at him

lovin kaito’s baby arms

real talk, maybe you could argue that he’s missing muscle because he’s deathly sick, but most of his cgs don’t line up with this, and his arms just look disproportionate to his torso size (granted this is a consistent problem across all danganronpa games and a lot of characters have this weird problem, like hajime, but also kaito is bigger than hajime so I kind of have higher expectations of him) maybe it’s his stupid goatee and the way he reminds me of yasuhiro?? it creates this illusion that he’s older than he is and so I keep expecting him to look more like an adult

oh, also rantaro is missing some of his accessories in that video he made–you know the one–but I don’t wanna go back and screenshot it

also you may have noticed that I’m skipping all of the monokub cgs because I literally do not care about them and I’m not even bothering to check and see if they have artistic mistakes in them

JIMMY NEUTRON???

hey um uh kaito you seem to be missing your neck

hey guys do you like my pregame fanart

so, that done, the sprites are also pretty terrible at times. they’re not as interesting to go through, however, and downloading the full sprite sets for every character and studying every single one of them will drive me insane, so I’ll just sum some of the ones I noticed up. I made things for kaede and shuichi before deciding I wasn’t going to get into it, so here are these.

that said, other mistakes include kokichi missing his purple highlights in all of the sprites encompassing a specific pose, stray pixels all over the place on everyone, and everyone also has heavily inconsistent shading, but literally all I think about is how pregame shuichi is unshaded and two of kaede’s pregame sprites have glaring outfit change mistakes in them

anyway, thank you for taking the time to read my ridiculous ramble. in all seriousness, there’s this looming presence of some lack of communication in the development team, like with all the art and design inconsistencies, pieces and sprites that look rushed, stray pixels, and missing basic proportional stuff. these are the kinds of things that you supposedly have to pretty much have in the bag in order to get jobs in professional businesses, so it’s really weird to me that this game suffers from so many of these problems. it’s like they tried to make the art so much more crisp than the other games, but it fell on its face as they realized it was going to take longer to draw everything and they started to rush. it’s weird, because the coloring itself looks normal–it’s just sloppily drawn, and the proportions are a mess once put into the context of perspective. many of the cgs look like they were drawn by different people, and I’m still not over the fact that half of kokichi’s cgs have his scarf pasted in as a texture.

the moral of the story is that if you’re selling a game at full price that also happens to be in a series that has had 3 very good games in it already the stakes should probably be higher than this. v3 has been out for more than 3 years and it’s still $40 (did it cost more than that before? I sure hope not), and the overarching quality of the game is just not as high as the other games. I’m not saying that the other games don’t have any problems with their art at all, they’re just not as glaringly obvious and every artistic choice in those games feels intentional.

regardless, I had a blast roasting the art at 2am, so maybe you got a kick out of all this chaos.

[beatriceeagle]

I'm more of a fantasy than sci-fi person, but consider my interest piqued. Why should I watch farscape?

Okay, the thing is, every Farscape fan’s pitch on Why You, Yes You, Should Watch Farscape ends up sounding very similar, and that’s because Farscape is a black hole that sucks you in and does things to your brain, and after you’ve watched it you are never, ever the same, which incidentally is basically the plot of Farscape.

I would summarize the basic plot for you, but that’s work, and luckily, the show’s credits sequence includes a handy summary that I will provide instead of doing that work: “My name is John Crichton, an astronaut. A radiation wave hit, and I got shot through a wormhole. Now I’m lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a living ship, full of strange alien life forms. Help me. Listen, please. Is there anybody out there who can hear me? I’m being hunted by an insane military commander. Doing everything I can. I’m just looking for a way home.“

So let me break down that monologue into its component reasons you should watch Farscape.

1) Some of the strange alien life forms are Muppets.

Farscape a co-production with the Jim Henson Company, and while there are many aliens played by humans in make-up, there are also a considerable number (including two of the regular crew) who are Muppets. By which I do not mean Kermit. I mean really gorgeous, elaborate works of art.

Also, even a lot of the humans-in-makeup aliens just look cool, and incredibly weird. Here’s an alien who appears in a single episode of season 1:

Not that there aren’t, you know, occasional Star Trek-style “these guys are just humans with weird hair,” or whatever, but in general, the aliens on Farscape look really alien. And that’s more than an aesthetic choice; it’s Farscape’s driving narrative principle. The aliens look alien, they act alien, they have alien values.

You know how a lot of sci-fi shows will have a stand-in for “fuck,” like Battlestar Galactica has “frak”? Well, Farscape has “frell.” And also “dren.” And yotz, hezmana, mivonks, loomas, tralk, snurch, eema, drannit, dench, biznak, arn, drad, fahrbot, narl. Some of those are swear words, but some of them are just words, never explicitly translated, that the alien characters will pepper into their speech, because, well, why should translator microbes be able to completely translate all the nuances of an alien culture? You’ll pick it up from context. One time, in passing, a character mentions that he’s familiar with the concept of suicide, but there’s no word for it in his language. I cannot emphasize to you enough how fleeting this moment is; the episode is not about suicide, we’re not having a great exchange of cultural ideas—at the time, the characters are running down a corridor in a crisis, as they are about 70 percent of the time—it’s just that the subject got brought up, and this character needed to talk around the fact that he literally didn’t have a word, in that moment. Things like that happen all the time, on Farscape.

Because more than anything else, Farscape is a show about culture shock. John Crichton is this straight, white Southern guy, at the top of his game—he’s an astronaut! he’s incredibly high status!—and then he ends up on the other side of the galaxy, where none of his cultural markers of privilege hold any meaning, where he doesn’t know the rules, where he literally can’t even open the doors. And he has to unlearn the idea that humanity is central, that he is the norm.

2) John Crichton, an astronaut, is pretty great.

A show that’s about a straight white guy with high status having to learn that he’s not the center of the universe could easily be centered around a really insufferable person, but one of the subtle things that makes Farscape so wonderful is that Crichton is, for the most part, pretty excellent. He has a lot of presumptions to unlearn because almost anyone in his cultural position would, but he’s also just a stand-up guy: compassionate, intelligent, open-minded, decent, forgiving, brave, hopeful.

And the galaxy tries to kick a whole lot of that out of him. It doesn’t succeed, mostly, but if Farscape is about anything other than culture shock, it’s about the lasting effects of trauma. How you can go through a wormhole one person, and experience things that turn you into someone you don’t recognize.

That’s kind of grim-sounding, but ultimately, what I’m trying to say is that Farscape is almost fanatically devoted to character work. Crichton is not the only character who sounds like he should be one thing and ends up being another. All of the characters—all of them, all of them, even the annoying ones—are complicated wonders. And you don’t have to wonder whether the events of the episode you’re watching are going to matter. They will. Everything that happens to the characters leaves a mark. Everything leaves them forever changed. Whether it’s mentioned explicitly or not—and often enough, it’s not explicit—the characters remember what has happened to them.

3) The living ship houses a lot of excellent women, among them the ship itself.

Ah, the women of Farscape, thou art the loves of my fucking life.

There’s Aeryn Sun, former Peacekeeper (that’s the military that the “insane military commander” hails from) now fugitive, currently learning the meaning of the word “compassion” (literally). She will break your fingers and also your heart. John/Aeryn is the main canon romantic ship.

There’s Pa’u Zhoto Zhaan, a priestess of the ninth level, current pacifist, former anarchist. Sorry, leading anarchist. She orgasms in bright light! (Oh my god, Farscape.)

There’s Chiana, my fucking bestie, a teenage(ish? ages in Farscape are weird) fugitive on the run from a repressive authoritarian state. Chiana is like a seductress con artist grifter thief who mostly just wants to survive so that she can have fun, damn it. Characters on Farscape do not really discuss sexualities (sex, yes, sexualities, no) and it would be fair to say that several of them do not fall along human sexuality lines generally, but I’m gonna go ahead and say that Chiana is canonically not straight.

Then there’s Moya, the ship herself, and it’s hard to get a straight read on Moya’s personality, since she mostly can’t speak. But she definitely has opinions, and things and people she cares about. And she moves the plot, though that gets into spoiler territory.

Past first season, further excellent women show up: Jool (controversial, but I like her), Sikozu (I once saw a Tumblr meme where someone had marked down that Sikozu would lose her shit when someone pronounced “gif” wrong, and that’s absolutely correct, and it’s why I love her), and Noranti (who is incredibly weird, and incredibly hard to summarize, but man, you gotta love her willingness to just show up and do her thing). Plus, there’s a recurring female villain, Grayza, who I could write probably multiple essays about. (I don’t know how you will feel about Grayza, as not everyone loves her, but I think she’s fucking fascinating, especially because she’s not actually the only recurring female villain. We also get Ahkna!)

(Side note: I should mention, here, that the cast of Farscape is really, really white. There is one cast member of color, Lani Tupu, but he pretty much represents the entirety of even, like, incidental diversity in casting for the series.)

Anyway, Farscape is full of awesome women, and also awesome and unexpected men, and it really enjoys playing with audience expectations of gender roles, generally. Literal entire books have been written about the way that Farscape fucks around with sex, sexuality, and gender. It’s a little weird because it was the late 90s/early 2000s, and sometimes that does come through, but Farscape’s guiding principle was always to try not to present American culture of the time as the norm, so like. It is not.

(An aside on Farscape and sex: Literally every character on Farscape has sexual tension with every other character. If you are a shipper, this is a Good Show, because no matter who you ship, there will not only be subtext, you will get a Moment of some kind. Multiple characters kiss the Muppet. Farscape is dedicated to getting into the nitty-gritty of the galaxy—I like to think of it as showing the guts of the universe—so a lot of the show is kind of squishy. They live on a biomechanoid ship, instead of androids there are “bioloids,” there’s a lot of focus on strange alien biologies, and lots of weird glowing fluids and things. I think the sex thing is kind of part and parcel of the larger biology focus: Farscape is really fascinated with how we all eat and evolve and live and die and, well, fuck. Which is in turn, kind of part of its focus on making everything really alien.)

4) Other stuff you should know.

Farscape as a whole is excellent, but it was kind of the product of creative anarchy—an Australian/American coproduction (oh yeah, everyone except Crichton speaks with an Australian accent) that was also partnered with the Henson company, whose showrunners were based in America but whose actual production all took place in Australia, and who was just constantly trying new things. So individual episodes can vary wildly in quality. It really takes off in the back half of season one, but no season is without a few off episodes.

It is extraordinarily funny, and I really think I haven’t stressed that enough. It’s one of the shows I want to quote the most in my daily life, but almost all of its humor is really context-dependent, and if you just wander around going, “Hey Stark? What’s black and white, and black and white, and black and white?” people look at you really funny.

It’s very conversant with pop culture generally (although obviously sci-fi  specifically, and Star Trek most specifically of all) and really enjoys deconstructing tropes, often to the effect of, “Well, Crichton really does not know what to do here, does he?” but sometimes just to be interesting.

There are also a lot of themes about science, and its uses and misuses.

The whole thing is fucking epic, and if you get invested at all, will take you on an emotional ride.

This show is weird. I know that that’s probably come across by now, but I think it’s worth reiterating as its own point: Farscape is so weird. Like, proudly, unabashedly, trying its hardest, weird. An amazing kind of weird.

If you’re into fantasy, you should know that there’s a recurring villain who’s just a wizard. Like, they don’t bother to explain it any more than that, he’s just a fucking wizard.

In summary: You should watch Farscape because it is a weird, wild, emotional, epic romance/drama/action/allegory full of Muppets and leather and one-liners and emotional gut punches and love, and if you let it, it will worm its way into you and never let go, which, now that I think of it, is another Farscape plot.

Send me meta prompts to distract me from my migraine!

[facceshopping]

u guys don’t care but i need to organize my thoughts on new lana album

white dress- this one is soooo gorgeous and i really love the sped up line in the second part of the chorus although some ppl will probably hate it. also the little hum she does after she says “i felt seen” was so beautiful. love the higher register here. also “kinda makes me feel.. like maybe i was better off” didn’t make me CRY but i did tear up. wasnt crazy about the verses at first but the weird interval at the beginning grew on me. also pretty sure one of the sounds in the production is lana ripping a juul, someone tell me if u agree

chemtrails- this was already one of my fave songs recently and i think it’s even better within the album. career highlight material. she was crazy for this one. wish she included the vocalization from the outro that gets used in the video though.

tulsa jesus freak- one of my new fave lana songs and my immediate favorite on this album. the autotune they put on her throughout this track gives it such a unique quality that interacts w the melodies so well and the VOCODER at the end??? she surgically removed charli’s bob w that one. love the line “you should come back to our place baby, don’t be afraid of our love” the talking layered over the outro is one of several rly cool production touches. lyrics give me religious cult type of vibes so ofc it’s my favorite

let me love you like a woman- i thought this was mid when it got released and it’s still one of my least faves on the album but it’s grown a little. vocals in the bridge are great. i think my main issue is with the melody in the chorus, it just doesn’t do it for me. love love love when the words “want” and “need” overlap in the second verse

wild at heart- this one is also one of my favorites. she does that thing again in the second verse where she speeds up a line & keeps the rhythmic scheme pretty loose which i really like and find really expressive. harmonies towards the end are divine and the melody in the chorus feels like a classic. my one question: did she say “insta thots” in the first verse shdknsosneidixj it might have been “dots” but i’m not sure what that means. also this pretty heavily samples how to disappear from NFR which i think is neat

dark but just a game- YESSSSSSS this is such a serve the minor key ultraviolence type beat in the chorus juxtaposed with the bright 60s kind of beatles sounding harmonies in the chorus is SO cool. it’s like the verses are the dark and the chorus is the game. “no rose left on the vines” lana sees the power of fame and toys with it because it doesn’t scare her! what to others is an all consuming state of being is to her simply a game!!

not all who wander are lost- this is definitely my least fave on the album. not a bad song but definitely not as good as the others on here. the invocation of the word wanderlust had me rolling my eyes a little but in an affectionate way. i’m probably too irony poisoned for this song. i like the opening line “i’ve been wearing the same damn clothes for three damn days” though

yosemite- to me this song feels like the last one before the third act of the album and i rly like how it connects to earlier in the album (“no more candle in the wind” from tulsa jesus freak (and also mariners apartment complex now that i think abt it)) and later in the album (“we did it for free”) the chorus is really good and the spoken word interlude in the bridge is one of my fave moments on the album. love how she says “television static” also listen for that distinctive rick nowels million dollar man sound effect

breaking up slowly- probably the most traditional & familiar track on here but god does it hit. nikki lane is a great presence on here (even though i thought she was miley cyrus at first LMFAO) it’s short and sweet & the harmonies in the chorus that nikki and lana do together are really great especially when they say “don’t send me flowers.” nikki’s second verse EATS. “are these my good years or do i have none? / are there really good years for everyone?”

dance till we die- not one of my faves but still really good. the invocation of all these older women who r all musical legends definitely highlights how lana has kind of ascended to that plane. the BRIDGE however is a really pleasant surprise! i saw someone say she’s kind of giving alanis morrisette on the bridge and i agree. “court almost burnt down my home” is she talking about courtney love. please tell me she’s talking about courtney love

for free- one of her best covers for sure!! zella day sounds a lot like lana on the first verse, but weyes blood on the third verse is transcendent i love her. this being at the end rly drives home what i was talking about in the last track of lana kind of becoming one of those legendary figures. harmonies all the way through are insanely good

overall: one of her best albums for sure, i feel like it may be number 3 for me but that changes a lot. was worried this was gonna sound too much like NFR but she definitely carved out a specific sound for this one. really folky but with some light beats throughout which works for me & suits her voice & writing well. i will develop a full take on what this album MEANS as i listen to it more but for now i rly dig the themes she gets into here. her best vocals in a while (maybe ever) and maybe her most genuinely personal stuff as opposed to the embellishment & romanticization of her earlier stuff (which i love obviously don’t get it twisted) i called in sick to listen to this and didn’t regret it at all

[rachelkaser]

Stay Golden Sunday: Vacation

Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose go on a Caribbean vacation and everything goes wrong. Back at home, Sophia flirts with the gardener.

Picture It...

Dorothy is gathering suitcases in the living room, fussing over Sophia. Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche are going to the Caribbean for vacation, meaning Sophia will be home alone. Sophia protests she’ll be fine. Rose fusses about traveling abroad, which drives Dorothy insane. Blanche has packed a ton of luggage. After leave for the airport, Sophia greets the Japanese gardener, Mr. Mitsumo, and tries to flirt with him. He doesn’t understand very much English, but he flirts back with her.

The Girls get to the hotel, and find their supposedly luxurious hotel room is a grungy shoebox. Not only are the telephone and the air conditioner not working, but their “ocean view” is a brick wall seen through a window the size of a porthole. They ask the very hostile porter to send the manager up. The Girls complain some more. The very slimy manager enters and claims their room does have an ocean view if you lean extremely far out of the window. When the Girls protest, it turns out Rose pre-paid for the room and they can’t get a refund, meaning they have no choice but to stay.

DOROTHY: You call that an ocean view? You have to be a contortionist to see! MANAGER: Hey, it doesn’t say “great ocean view.”

Back at home, Sophia is having dinner with Mr. Mitsumo, who asks that she call him Toshiro. He plays Japanese music and has made sushi for Sophia, also showing her how to eat with chopsticks. Sophia’s a little grossed out at eating raw fish, and puts most of it in her purse when Toshiro’s not looking. She still compliments his cooking and tells him she thinks he’s cute. He says she’s cuter, and I just can’t with these two.

Back in the hotel, the Girls get set up in the bathroom and Rose talks about how she’s planned out their day as mosquitos bite them up. When Rose tries to enter the bathroom again, the door is locked. They discover that there are three men in the bathroom, as it’s shared with another room. Dwayne, Rick, and Winston are all obnoxious 30-somethings who try to be rude to the Girls, but Blanche isn’t having it. She tells them off, saying to go into the jungle to relieve themselves.

ROSE: You... you... you rude person! DOROTHY: Go easy on him, Rose.

The Girls are sitting in the hotel lobby, having just eaten an awful dinner, when the boys rom the other room enter. They apologize for being rude earlier, and offer to buy the Girls drinks. When they ask how their vacation is going, the Girls admit they’re having a terrible time. Winston says he’s rented a sailboat and offers to bring the Girls along on an evening cruise, which they agree to enthusiastically. Dorothy goes to call Sophia before heading out.

Sophia and Toshiro are now eating Italian food, which he’s enjoying. She tells him that she’s attracted to him, which he understands, but there are still some communication issues. These two are honestly adorable. Sophia goes in for a kiss but is interrupted by the phone call from Dorothy. She’s not pleased, and gets the phone call over with as quickly as possible. This time, it’s Toshiro who initiates the kiss.

Sometime later, Blanche, Dorothy, and Rose are on a beach with the three young men. They sailed into a storm and are now shipwrecked. Naturally the Girls are not pleased with the boys and Blanche and Dorothy start a huge argument. It’s Rose, of all people, who stands up and takes charge, citing her survival knowledge as a Scout. She starts barking orders, telling the other Girls to make a campfire, and Dwayne, Rick, and Winston to follow a path that might lead to a waterfall. Everyone leaps into action, with Blanche and Dorothy being a little scared at how commanding Rose is being.

Hours later, the Girls are grouped around the campfire and the men haven’t returned. Rose, now considerably less confident, thinks they might die and confesses that her confidence earlier was mostly bravado, and she can’t actually help them survive. Under the pressure, the Girls start confessing secrets to each other, including Rose once read Blanche’s diary, Rose once had her nose done and she and Dorothy hid it from Blanche, and Blanche and Dorothy both slept with Rose’s cousin Nolan. Finally they all shout each other into silence.

BLANCHE: You don’t think anything happened to them? DOROTHY: No, I think they probably just stopped to rest. BLANCHE: Yeah, or maybe they’re looking for something to carry the water back in. ROSE: Maybe they were clawed to death by bloodthirsty animals.

After a few moments they start apologizing to each other and say that, if they’re going to die, at least they’re together. Rose bursts into song -- specifically “I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing” -- and suddenly the boys emerge from the trees with tropical drinks. They discovered that they never left the resort island and were in fact wrecked next to the actual resort. The Girls agree to keep their confessions to themselves, and they all go off to the Hyatt Regency together singing “I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing.”

“If I put cracked ice and an umbrella on your head, you’d be a Mai Tai.”

This is a really hard episode to judge, because it’s got very funny parts even if I find the scenario kind of silly. Several of the individual scenes make me laugh, but the episode doesn’t hang together terribly well, and it kind of sucks that the B-plot, as cute as it is, doesn’t last for very long. I would have enjoyed seeing the Girls come home after their ordeal and finding out exactly what Sophia had been up to while they were gone.

ROSE: *on her millionth question* Did you call a cab to take us to the airport? DOROTHY: No Rose, I called two cabs. One for Blanche and me, and one for you, cause you’re making me crazy with all your questions! ... ROSE: Now whose cab is this? Is this yours or mine? DOROTHY: Rose, there’s only one cab. ROSE: Well how am I gonna get to the airport? DOROTHY: Run behind it!

This is one of those “away” episodes where we spend the majority of the episode somewhere other than the Girls’ house. The Girls are off to what they think is a luxurious Caribbean resort, only to find everything not exactly as advertised. Oh the days before online reviews, when you just had to trust that everything was as it looked in the brochure. That’s not to say this couldn’t happen today, but it does make this episode feel like a product of its time.

So much of this episode is memorable, even if in a weird way: The argument over the girls’ “ocean view,” the porter stomping on the bed, Rose snapping and taking charge after the shipwreck. Even if the whole episode doesn’t make a lot of sense, those scenes stick in the mind. And the final scene plays out like one of those single-scene arthouse plays, and it’s always great to see Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy just sit down and talk, as it capitalizes on the actresses’ tremendous chemistry with each other.

I guess if I have one problem with this episode, it’s that the writers felt like they were trying to cram too many different ideas into one episode, any of which would have made a perfectly satisfactory A-plot on their own: The Girls go on a vacation that turns out badly; they end up having to share a bathroom with three men; they get shipwrecked on an island. The young men are a good example of this. For starters, how did the Girls not notice another door leading out of their bathroom when they arrived? They’re in very little of the episode comparatively speaking, and are a plot convenience to get the Girls shipwrecked. Also, if the Girls can’t leave their crappy hotel because they already prepaid, how do they expect to afford a room at the Hyatt Regency?

It’s almost a pity Sophia couldn’t accompany them, because I can’t picture her putting up with even half of the hotel’s foolishness like the rest of the Girls do. This is yet another one of those episodes where Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy go away for some reason and leave Sophia out of things. They do invite her along, but she actually turns them down this time. Turns out there is one reason why Sophia won’t complain about being the “Tonto of the group:” She’s trying to get herself a date.

DOROTHY: Ma, I hate leaving you like this, I really do. Why don’t you come with us? BLANCHE: Yeah, come on, Sophia! It’ll be fun! ROSE: *taking out the brochure* Oh, and the resort is absolutely gorgeous. Look here, here’s our room. Isn’t that beautiful? You can have the king-sized bed. SOPHIA: There’s already two people in it.

I almost wish that B-plot took up a little bit more of the episode. One, because I hate it when Sophia is in less than half of the episode and disappears before the final third. Two, because this is the first time Sophia’s had a romance plot in the series, and it deserves more screentime. I always enjoy how this show makes it so clear that women can have love lives no matter what age they are, and while we’ve been aware that Sophia dates around from her saying as much, this is the first time we’ve seen it happen onscreen.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that Toshiro Mitsumo, Sophia’s Japanese gardener love interest, was played by Keye Luke, the actor who played Lee Chan in the Charlie Chan films. Those films may not have aged well in terms of a white actor playing the role of a Chinese detective, but I always enjoyed Luke’s performances as Chan’s “Number One Son.” Here he doesn’t get much to do as Mr. Mitsumo, but he still manages to look very cute flirting with Sophia.

RICK: So, how have you ladies been enjoying your vacation? DOROTHY: As a child, during the Depression, I had to have my wisdom teeth extracted by a shoemaker. That was more fun than this.

I mean, part of me finds it ironic that the episode acts like sushi is exotic and disgusting, to the point where Sophia slips it into her purse rather than eat it. I know that, at the time, most people probably weren’t as familiar with sushi, so it probably didn’t sound appealing to the average Golden Girls viewer, but it’s hilarious considering you can now get sushi very easily in most major American cities (including Miami), and probably a lot of minor ones too.

In the end, while I do love parts of this episode and they gave me a few laughs, it’s a hard one to judge. Still, if nothing else, it gave us some very memorable scenes of our favorite Girls out of their element, and Sophia her first love interest of the series.

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰 (three cheesecake slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode:

The Girls contend with their poor accommodations and Rose has another of her flights of fancy:

[ravenwolfie97]

2020 Art Summary

Yep, it’s 2021 already. 2020 is finally over. It felt like it lasted forever, and it felt like the end would never come, but here we are. Crazy how the time flew by.

I felt like I didn’t get much art done this year because of Current World Event, but I made a lot more than I thought I did. Even some of my new favorite pieces came out of this year, so I think that’s worth celebrating and looking back upon!

I was insanely productive during the first month of 2020, and looking back I was surprised at all the stuff I did, but then I remembered that that winter season was actually one of the best times of my life! I started being more socially involved, and I think my newfound drive at the time translated into all the art I pumped out this month. This is just a small fraction of what I made in January, but I only have so much space. Quite a few complex pieces in both style exploration and polishing my own style.

Apparently February was a rather intimate month. Things began to slow down in terms of my own art here, with me spending more time in social settings and school work ramping up, I didn’t have as much time to coop up in my room to draw. I did wanna do something for a friend’s Valentine’s Day OC art challenge, so I drew my lovey-dovey couple from Dance of 1000 Words havin’ a dance. Nothing actually came of that challenge, but it was fun to do regardless.

One of the things I was most proud of in the winter season was making more friends, and one of the closest friends I made was completely coincidental. I met a person named Kiri on the bus one night I decided to volunteer somewhere by myself, and we ended up chatting and getting along. They quickly told me their tumblr username, and I shot them a message immediately after they left. A couple days later, we met up for brunch, and we started becoming really close friends and creative partners!

Not much else happened in March cuz that’s when Current World Event started becoming an issue, but Kiri and I still kept in close touch and we randomly started developing a concept for a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Galar Edition. These are a handful of characters we thought up, with Skipper the Scorbunny and Dross the Dreepy as the main characters, Morgrem as the main antagonist, and some shopkeepers such as those of the Greedent Bank and the Indeedee General Store. This was also my first time drawing all of these Galar Pokemon (except Scorbunny, but I also made Skipper a bit more unique than a regular Scorbunny).

Lots of events happened this month. First of all, Steven Universe Future ended, one of my favorite and most influential shows was no longer continuing. I had to do something as tribute, both as a send-off to one of the greatest cartoons in the world and as a cathartic release for my feelings towards it.

A while later, I got the opportunity to start playing an MMO in beta called Fer.al, by the same people who made Animal Jam, which coincidentally I had also beta tested for back in the day. I ended up getting really attached to my first character, a Senri I named Sasha, and though I’ve made more characters than them since, they’re still my absolute favorite. Though I haven’t touched the game in a few months, I was really engrossed for a long time and enjoyed playing through the beta and early access phases.

At the end of the month, some friends of mine invited to a roleplay group with some mutuals, and we all played characters in a crime syndicate. Just a bunch of ragtag thieves and criminals who ended up together in order to protect an artifact called the Crown of Thieves, which was essentially a flag to be taken by other groups to prove that they are the best thieves in the land. My character was based heavily on my sona (if it wasn’t obvious) and was also influenced by Cloud Strife, since the FFVII Remake had just come out and I was super into watching the cutscenes at the time. My character’s (code)name is Valkyrie, and they are a mercenary, going between multiple different employers to carry out whatever duties they need to do. They have a more complicated backstory, but presently they were recently hired by recommendation of their friend Shark (played by @shmoots-universe​ who is also My friend now ily maya) who works with a group called the Court Cards who are currently in possession of the Crown of Thieves. Valk never really had a place to call home, but staying with this group of people had to be the closest they could get to that feeling. They still sleep with a knife under their pillow because of trust issue but that’s okay.

Okay, so technically these examples started in April, but I continued making content with them in May, and the month was just pretty void of art in general, so here I am addressing them.

There were two main things I worked on this month: a Steven Universe AU of my own and the whole #sixfanarts thing that kicked off around then. Let’s start with the fanart bits. I did two and a half of them (six in April and nine in May), and it was so much fun to be able to draw stuff I don’t normally do! My personal favorites are shown here: Blake Belladonna from RWBY, Roll from Megaman, Yuki Konno from Sword Art Online, and Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. The other thing I’d been planning for a while was a Steven Universe AU, probably to cope with the show being over but also because I was inspired by a lot of those SU AU artists I started following at the time. I won’t share the details here because it’s gonna have its own blog at some point, but the example I’ve shown here is of a comic I made loosely in order to introduce a divergence in the plot of the story as well as introduce a character unique to my AU. It was a lot of fun figuring out how to draw the characters and get a feel for the style.

As the year progressed, my amount of art I made per month began to dwindle, this time mostly because school was kicking my ass especially hard with finals. However, I took what time I had to get some backburner pieces finished, like the Tigerlily picture which I sketched out a couple months back, and the Gunvolt picture which I started working on SIX YEARS AGO. I don’t quite know why I got the urge to work on it again after so long, but it was nice to finally realize. The other drawing for DOTS was done in the dead of night but I was really happy with how it came out.

Despite only having two summer classes left of school, this month was really rough because they demanded a lot of my time and attention. I did not have the gumption to do anything digital, so I stuck to my sketchbook to get out what I felt like getting out.

My friends and I did a stream of the game Helltaker, and I really enjoyed the concept, so in following my friends I made my own Helltaker demon OC named Raksha the Ravenous Demon (it’s a pun but also got mythical insp). I also got super into Hazbin Hotel at this point, mostly because the Addict music video dropped and I couldn’t get enough of it, so I doodled Angel Dust cuz I felt like it. The other drawing I did was actually a free commission I gave a friend of mine as a prize for a trivia game show I ran back in June. He along with a couple other friends got some free drawings from me for getting the top three scores, and this one in particular was fun because of how interesting it was. He wanted me to draw a video game reviewer called the Irate Gamer from a specific moment, and I decided to go ham and just make it as dramatic as possible.

University classes finally wrapped up and right after that I was in the process of moving out of my apartment and getting adjusted to living with my parents again. I did a couple of agg.io drawing sessions with my friends from the Court Cards group as well as a new Dungeons and Dragons homebrew group I had joined. I drew some more of Valkyrie and came up with a design for my DND character Qakuqtuq (or Kai for short). He is monkey grandpa and I love him.

My main focus was on finishing a polished piece for my friend Cake, whose birthday was in the upcoming month. I wanted it to be as amazing as possible, so I put a lot of time into getting more detailed and making them look good. In addition to that, I did a few TOME doodles just for fun. The creature on the bottom was for this month’s art challenge on my Discord server where we made original TOMERPG monsters, and I created Hundylow, a Crystal-element monster based on the Grindylow from English folklore.

This month was a lot more productive than the past few had been. I tried to do a 31-day art challenge called Creatober but failed to get past the third prompt because I was still swamped with other work. I’m still happy with what little I did, including the piece with my characters Kyle and Guarudan from DSWD.

I don’t remember how, but I also suddenly rediscovered an old Flipnote Hatena series called Tales of LostClan, a Warriors fan series that I would say was the most obscure thing I’ve ever been super invested in. It was what got me into the actual Warriors books, and I liked it so much I redrew the animations into a comic... twice. Didn’t get nearly as far the second time but clearly my love for this little fanfiction had not waned after nearly a decade. I felt like drawing a book cover/movie poster for the series, just to get it out there and see how much I’ve improved over all that time.

Also I felt like making a vampiresona just before Halloween because I never dress up for Halloween in art (or real life anymore, for that matter), and I wanted to do something like that for once. It was short-lived but I really liked the design!

The focus of this month was definitely on Pokemon stuff. As per usual I contributed to the current Gotta Draw ‘Em All collab, and I was tasked to draw Regieleki. It was really fun to figure out how to make it stand out and look like it was made of electricity.

I also committed a lot of my spare time to my Fakemon Gym Leaders, as I had been working on bringing them to life in the past year or so now. As of this post, I’ve finished rendering their full body poses and gym badges, but I’m still working on completing all eight VS portraits, the first half of which are shown here.

I... didn’t draw anything this month, actually. What I’m showing here was worked on in the last few days but has actually been in progress for a couple of months, and I just finished it earlier today, in 2021. But I needed to show something off, and it’s also about time I mentioned it.

Back in October, I kept seeing people rave about this game called Genshin Impact, and I was interested but not so much as to start playing it... until my friends started playing and I was like “fuck it, let’s download it”. Since that day, I have been super immersed and in love with this game, to the point I came up with my own canon based on my gameplay experiences. This also included the creation of an original player character: Astra, the non-binary Traveller. And now, I’ve finally drawn them and brought them to life.

It has been one hell of a year. I had some of the highest highs and lowest lows in 2020, lots of changes, and I have now officially moved onto the next chapter of my life now that my time at university is finally over. I’m very excited for what 2021 has to offer, and I’m going to go forward with great ambition.

[frenchibi]

hey, so i thought maybe you could tell us a little what you're currently interested in? ♥ like, what have you been doing during quarantine, are there any new shows you watched that you enjoyed a lot, did you maybe take up a new hobby or something? :)

Hello!! I did not forget this lovely message, I was just in no state to answer (who’d have thought that recovery from surgery is, y’know, taxing) BUT I’M BACK NOW and ohhhh do you know what you’ve unlocked by asking me this question...?? I cannot give you a comprehensive list but I can tell you a couple of the things that I got into during quarantine, and the things I am currently super passionate about! My memory is, uh, not great but thankfully I do journal and write down things so I am confident I can answer this for you :D (plus I do always love recommending things so - aaa??? Thank you for this ask????)

Putting things under a cut because I physically cannot chill but if tl;dr I want you to take away one thing from this it’s that everyone should read Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. Thoughts below.

(Also. I would love to go off about my interests more on here but am not sure what... shape that should ideally take? Text posts? IDK pls give me suggestions, help me out?? dfhasjkldf)

Movies

I have not seen many, but I can and will scream about The Old Guard over and over because... it was everything I never knew I needed in an action movie?? I don’t reblog many things about it anymore but I love love LOVED it!!

Also, upon recommendation by one of my friends from India, I have been delving into the world of Bollywood movies and WOW Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara was so fucking good??? idk if it’s on Netflix in every country but it is in mine and I highly recommend it. It’s thoughtful, honest, emotional and shot absolutely gorgeously, and it also has that cheesiness that is just... so good... sometimes you just need the cheese y’know???

(Side note, 2020 was the year I saw Pride and Prejudice (2005) for the first time and I am a changed woman. It is now my ultimate comfort movie. Please see it if you have not, I cannot believe it took me this long. I saw it for the first time on an airplane (in january... a lifetime ago) and have seen it many, many times since.)

TV Shows

So, to everyone’s shock but especially my own, I have not really been into TV lately? I watched The Boys because my brother recommended it (it’s good, but gorey and pulls no punches, the R rating is deserved), and recently started watching Jujutsu Kaisen because my sister recommended it (I haven’t watched a new anime in like a year which is kinda wild to me? But I am enjoying this one - the opening SLAPS and what I’ve seen so far has been fun! Plus I’m watching it with my sister and I like sending her reactions xD),,, and that’s pretty much it for this category?? I am aware there is a LOT of good shit out there I just.. .don’t seem to have the attention span for multiple episodes of a Thing these days. Meh. I’m sure it’ll come back to me eventually ^^

Musical Theater

One of the main reasons I think I haven’t been big into TV is because my Musical Passion is in FULL SWING (haha get it). Probably because the only thing that has remained for me during this quarantine is my singing lessons (and lemme tell you... over skype, that shit is ROUGH but still better than not singing at all) and I have been obsessing over learning new songs and finding shows through recommendations and compilation videos on youtube... So.

Shows I listen to a lot these days include Starry, Anastasia, The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals, Come From Away (I made a post recently specifically about musicals, you should be able to find it under #French speaks) - specific songs in my range that I am currently learning and obsessing over include “Bring on the men” from Jekyll and Hyde, “The Mad Hatter” from Wonderland, “Show Yourself” from Frozen 2 (I liked it ok I DID), and “Go Tonight” from The Mad Ones (this one makes me cry... I’m making my sister duet it with me bc I can’t stop thinking about it).

Also, if you’re interested in hearing me sing things, head over to my instagram where I post covers (and also art)!!

(Musical people, I am curious to hear opinions about Great Comet, and also The Count of Monte Cristo - two shows I’ve been meaning to check out!)

Video Games

Listen. Animal Crossing New Horizons is awesome and I’m glad I have it (...give me Brewster back, Nintendo, or I WILL RIOT), but I have been branching out into other games for the Switch (might as well make this purchase worth it amirite) - current faves include Celeste (which is SO HARD but also SO FUCKING FUN) and Spiritfarer which I specifically bought to play at the hospital bc I knew I was going to be there for a few days, and let me tell you - best decision of 2020. Please watch the trailer if you haven’t heard of it, it’s GORGEOUS and beautiful and emotional and I loved every second of it. Both of these can also be purchased for PC and I think they are definitely worth the investment!!

In other news I’m back on my Stardew Valley bullshit. It’s just so calming.I revisit it a lot lmao

Books

So... I have been reading. A LOT. I read over 70 books this year, which for me is... average tbh? I have had some less productive reading months but overall I have torn through stuff and BOY do I have recommendations if you want them?? For the sake of brevity I will only mention a few here:

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space”. That is all. This was my first five star fiction book of the year and I will never be done screaming about it. There is a dedicated but smallish fandom here on tumblr and it deserves SO MUCH MORE. Please, please please. Everyone should read this damn book. It’s confusing in the beginning but I promise it’s worth it IT’S SO GOOD!! And also the sequel is out and it’s also confusing and SO GOOD!!!

Educated by Tara Westover. This is an autobiography and it’s one of those books that like. Stick in your mind for months after you’ve read it. It’s about how this woman escaped an abusive household that was religiously oppressive and also like... survivalist (prepping for the apocalypse) and avidly believed in conspiracy theories - by educating herself, working her way up to going to Harvard. Nothing I say could do the emotional impact of this book justice - and also just, the perspective this book gave me?? Incredible. Education is the most powerful tool and this woman grabbed it by the hair and did not let go and I was FLOORED. Everyone should read this. I don’t even usually read biographies but DAMN.

The Winternight trilogy by Katherine Arden.(Book 1 is called The Bear and the Nightingale). This is a bit of a slow burn type deal - it’s a retelling of a Russian fairy tale (I think?? Or like a folk... story? Something like that) and it is just. So magical. It’s not fast paced but it works up to FANTASTIC moments, the focus is on family and magic and change and “making your own way” and all three of these books were wonderful. It reminded me of Naomi Novic’s Uprooted and Spinning Silver (both of which I also loved back in 2019 and would highly recommend) and they are PERFECT winter reads if you’re looking for something to get cozy with. I liked book 1 well enough but books 2 and 3 knocked it out of the park. Fantastic. Loved them.

I have many more recs but this will do for now hahah

Music

Gonna keep this brief too - my music taste is all over the place, but here are some songs I have been obsessed with recently!! Beware of genre whiplash though because these are Very Different from one another (and different from the musical theater stuff above)

Factories - Autoheart (that bridge gets me every time, idk why. This is one I could have on repeat for hours and not get tired of it either. Something about it just gets me!!)

History Read - The Altogether (The lyrics!! Tbh the entire Silo album is GREAT, but this one is my fave. Their music is so... mellow, in the best way??)

Weather Man - Valley of Wolves (ok this one is just a banger. I’m a sucker for a good sing-along-able hook (that’s not a word. you get me though right) and this fucking DELIVERS. I also just think “I make these dark skies blue, I make these mountains move, let the rain come down, I’m pushing through.... [pause] ... ‘cause I’m the weather man” is such good execution of a concept?? That PAUSE GETS ME it’s just SO FUN?!?! idk man I like a good upbeat banger and this is that.)

I believe (get over yourself) - Nico Vega (this one is just a callout at myself tbh?? “you’re a fool” I AM and I needed to hear it?? It’s also SO FUN to sing!!! We love a banger.)

Kiss me you animal - Burn the Ballroom (mentioning this mainly because it reminded me, lyrically, of Gideon the Ninth and I need someone to confirm this for me before I go insane?? “everybody knows that home is where your teeth sink, love” - I mean c’mon??? Also it’s a banger. I do like some rock from time to time... and this also has a killer driving bassline. This is super fun to drive to, too!!)

((If we have overlap and anyone wants to exchange playlists with me - I am SO here for it. Always looking for new music!!! I mean it!!))

Youtube

Last and certainly not least... meet my newest hyperfixation!!! I have always loved watching video essays, and booktube videos, and arttube videos - and my current niche of favorite creators is the Polygon video team!! They made videos about video games and board games and anything gaming-related and I just. I’m only peripherally a “gamer(TM)” but I love anything and everything they create. (Also you don’t have to know much about video games to enjoy all of their content!! A lot of it is still accessible to Non-Gamers(TM) or casual gamers!) BDG is my new favorite creator, the Unraveled series he does on the channel is a work of genius - but I have also started watching their streams and older series and I am enjoying myself SO MUCH! I love boardgames so their series on them, Overboard, is so fun and entertaining (and I already know a bunch of games I want to buy based on seeing the gameplay), and it also made me invested in the other creators - particularly Simone, I would die for Simone?? And Pat? And Jenna? They each have their niche and they work really well together too and their videos are my Main Serotonin Machine in these trying times(TM), thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Also. If you’re already following me here and you are familiar with Polygon things I BEG YOU TO COME AND TALK TO ME ABOUT THEM because I am like, bursting, but I also don’t want to flood my dash with stuff that 99% of my followers are unfamiliar with y’know??

...I think I’m going to leave it at this - it’s already a lot!

But thank you once again for asking and for letting me Go Off about things I am interested in!! I just... I very often wish I could do this more, but I’m not sure how to go about it? Should I just do text posts about things?? Would that be interesting to anyone?? Or is that like, annoying? Should I start a review blog or something? dhfajkldhf I just want to talk about things that excite me, but whenever I’m here I often just stick to reblogging other people’s stuff... help?? What do y’all want to see??

[simplygojo]

killer queen - chapter seven

Series summary : Y/n, a native to London England, gets asked by the legend himself, Freddie Mercury, to help manage the band. Obviously she accepts, and it ends up being the best decision she’s ever made. Quickly she becomes close with each member of band, Roger Taylor specifically…

Chapter Summary : Two months after Queen’s first tour, y/n’s relationship with Scott leads to some surprises. The band finally prepares for the production of their new album. 

Word Count : 3.7k

Pairings : Ben!Roger Taylor x Reader 

Warnings : Swearing, cheating

a/n - I’M BACK BITCHESSSSS!! LOL sorry I was gone for so long but I REALLY appreciate all the support you guys are giving me on this series even tho I started it in January...luv u!!

chapter six | chapter eight 

            Queen’s first tour had come to an end. You knew that there would be more tours as each concert filled up more and more until they sold out. But a quarter of the money went to the recording company, another quarter went to the private jets, tour bus, and equipment, and another quarter went towards them fully buying the small recording studio, so they could only split the last quarter amongst themselves. Freddie and the boys insisted that you be included in the money split, they said that “They couldn’t have done it without you” although  you disagreed with them, you gladly took the money. Since then, the boys decided to take a bit of a break, not from each other, just from making music. Although, they promised John Reid that they’d have a complete album done within the next 6 months. John Reid had also gotten the band a lawyer, Jim Beach, who was a very nice man and was always willing to help. Even though the band was not making music you all still hung out all the time. Roger had been keeping his distance from everyone, he mostly spent his time drunk, high, with hookers, or all three. You have been with Scott for about two months now, and still no action in the bedroom. He has been treating you like a princess, opening car doors, pulling out your chair, alwaysing saying “ladies first.” He was doing all this for you, because he really cares about you. Scott looked at you like you were his world, like without you he wouldn’t be able to survive. And that is the reason you haven’t broken up with him yet. Plus he makes you happy, he is funny, kind, and can always make you smile no matter how bad your day has been going. The moment Deaky told you that Roger has feelings for you you wanted to end things with Scott, you wanted to go to Roger and tell him you felt the same way, you wanted to kiss him, you would kiss him like you have wanted to since you first saw him. But you couldn’t do that to Scott, he was too nice, too chivalrous, too perfect. Despite all of this, being with him still didn’t feel right deep down. Since about a month ago Roger had began to go down a spiral that you and the boys were just constantly trying to get him out of. Roger always had at LEAST one girl with him, you hadn't seen him sober in four weeks, and he was always starting arguments with Freddie. It was driving everyone insane, and it made it much harder to get together as a group. You knew that you being with Scott was annoying Roger at first, but you just assumed since he had so many hookers around he was over it. 

            That morning you woke up beside your boyfriend and smiled before looking at the clock. “Oh crap! I’m supposed to meet Deaky and Brian for brunch today.” You said before throwing the covers off your body and scrambled to grab your jean jacket. Scott groaned and propped himself up on his elbows as he watched you grab your hair brush and brush your hair. “You’re cute.” He said, making you roll your eyes at him as you looked at him through your mirror. “Shut up.” You countered, a smile slowly growing on your face. You riffled through your drawers until you found the sweater you were looking for, and walked out of your bedroom and into the bathroom. It was weird for you, not being able to change in front of your boyfriend, but over the last two months you’ve gotten used to it. You had just come to the assumption that Scott hadn't done anything with a girl before, so he was waiting for the right time. Shaking these thoughts away, you changed into your bright red knit sweater and blue jeans before walking back into the bedroom to give Scott a quick peck on the lips. “Okay, I’ll be back soon but I know the three of us might be meeting Rog and Fred at the studio, they want to start their new album, so I could be late.” You told him and he nodded his head. “Don’t know how I’ll survive.” He said through a toothy grin. He always seemed to be in a happy mood, sometimes it was just plain obnoxious, but you just assumed he was an optimist. You shot him a grin back and then walked towards the front door, your fake grin instantly dropping once your back was turned. After you put on you shoes and walked out, you got in your car and drove to the small diner where you were meeting John and Brian. On your drive you began to think about Scott, you don’t think you’ve ever actually seen him in any mood other than insanely happy and upbeat. You realized that you barely even know him, he was just some stranger you met at a concert. By the time you got to the diner, you had made a decision that you had been thinking about for a month now. 

          Once you got there you parked your car and walked in, seating yourself at a booth. After a few minutes of you looking at the menu you heard the chime of the door opening and you glanced over your shoulder to see your two friends walking towards you. “Hello there.” You said as you watched Brian slide into the seat in front of you, while Deaky sat beside him. “Hey y/n!” Deaky said happily as the waitress handed them their menus. “Hey, I-” You interrupted yourself for a moment and then looked at the two boys. “Guys I need to confess something.” Brian and Deaky looked at each other and then back at you. “Alright then, what is it.” Brian said as he picked up the menu. “Is it about Rog..?” Deaky asked as he raised an eyebrow. You didn’t respond for a moment, until you let out a sigh. “Kind of..uh, I don’t-actually, no, it's about Scott.” You told them as you took a sip of your crappy coffee. “I think I’m going to break up with him.” You said, feeling a weight being lifted from your shoulders. “About time y/n.” Deaky said giving you a small smile as he finished reading the menu. “ None of us really liked him all that much anyways.” Brian laughed. “Yeah, he always seemed a bit too upbeat for my liking.” Deaky added just before the waitress came up to your table. The nice young girl took all three of your orders and then let you be. “So y/n, does this sudden decision have anything to do with a certain drummer I know?” Brian asked as he moved his tea bag around in the gray-blue mug. “No it does not, and this decision is not sudden I just haven’t told you two about it yet.” You quickly corrected Brian. “I’ve been debating this for a month now, I just don’t feel the connection I think that two people should feel when I’m with Scott. Don’t get me wrong, he is probably the nicest and funniest guy I’ve ever met, but it just, ugh! It doesn’t feel right with him. You know? It almost feels as if we’d be better off as friends.” Both boys nodded, even though they probably didn’t know what you meant by that, but they knew that it was best to let you go on. “When are you going to do it then?” Deaky asked you, you shrugged in response. “I should do it today, it’s just cruel to lead someone on for that long.” You added wrapping your cold hands around your mug. The waitress came back to your table with the three plates of food, it all smelling of the most delicious breakfast foods. There wasn’t much talking while the three of you ate, but it was never an awkward silence with those boys, they were like the older brothers you never had, and sometimes the older brothers you never wanted. But all in all, you would trust these boys with your life. At the end of your meal you put both your hands flat on the table and stood up. “I need to do it now, if I’m going to break up with Scott, it has to be now or else I will chicken out.” You said as you looked down at the two of them. “You’re good with paying for the meal, right?” You said with a sly smirk as you grab your car keys out of your pocket. Both their mouths opened and you laughed. “ Hey! I’m kidding! Here’s £6, I’ll see you guys later!” You said, waving to them as you left the diner and briskly walked towards your car.

            Once you finally got back to your flat, after a drive that felt like seconds, you tossed your jacket onto the couch and dropped the keys onto the counter. “Scott?!” You called looking around the flat. “In the kitchen y/n.” He responded. You walked into the kitchen and looked at him, he was making himself a cup of tea as he smiled over to you. “That was a quick brunch.” He said with a small chuckle. You didn’t want to do this to him, he did nothing wrong, all he did was be kind to you, but he just wasn’t the right person you felt like you should be with. You decided to simply rip off the bandaid. “Scott I think we should break up.” You said quickly, the chipper smile quickly fading from his face. “It’s not you Scott, it’s fully me, I just-” Scott interrupted you. “You’re in love with Roger.” He said quickly which made you furrow your eyebrows and quickly deny it. “What?! No!” You said causing Scott to run his hands over his face in frustration. “Then you found out.” He said, you had absolutely no clue what he was talking about but you nodded, deciding to see what he meant by that. “Yeah, I-I did find out.” You said as you slowly walked towards him. He dumped his tea down the sink and ran one hand through his hair. “Look y/n, I didn’t tell you about her because I didn’t want to hurt yo-“ Your eyes widened and you could feel your body fill with rage. “Hold on a moment, you’re cheating on me?!” You yelled in disbelief. “You said you found out?!” He yelled, obviously confused. “I was lying to make breaking up with you easier on me!” You pinched the brim of your nose as you began to think, the rage simmering down quickly. “Wait hold on...is this why you wouldn’t sleep with me? You were fucking someone else?” You asked, everything finally falling into place like puzzle pieces. He looked at you in the eyes for a moment, and then slowly began to nod. You let out a frustrated sigh. “Honestly y/n, I thought that you just didn’t want to...you know...because you were a virgin.” He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. You were shocked, which was evident in your dropped jaw. “For the record I am nowhere near a virgin. But...I thought you were a virgin?” You said all of your frustration and rage completely leaving your body. You both let out a chuckle. “Well I mean, I guess this does make breaking up with you easier.” You admitted giving Scott a small smile. He sighed. “Yeah I guess it does.” He agreed and opened his arms for a hug, which you gladly walked into and gave him a friendly hug back. “Hey, because we didn’t sleep with each other this means that it’ll be easier to stay friends.” Scott said once you guys pulled away. You laughed and nodded. “I would love that Scott.” There was a bit of an awkward silence for a moment before you broke it. “Well, I have to run to the studio help the band make more songs, and when I get back later...I hope you’ll be moved out.” you said which made Scott laugh. “Don’t worry, I will be.” 

          Soon you arrived at the studio, assuming no one would be there yet, but Freddie and Roger were setting up the equipment. “Oh! Hey boys, what's up?” You asked them as you set your jacket and purse on the sofa. “We’ve decided it’s time to start working on our next album.” Freddie said, sounding excited. You nodded and clapped your hands together. ‘Well I have some news...Scott and I broke up.” You gave both of them a reassuring smile as they both walked over to you in surprise. “What happened y/l/n?” Roger asked, a half empty beer in hand. “Scott was cheating on me.” You said quickly, almost dismissing it. “I’m gonna kill him.” He said running his hand through his hair. “Rog…” You said and he just shook his head and looked at you. “I told him we should end things, and then he accidentally told me he cheated on me. It actually was mutual, I think we’re gonna stay friends.” You explained, which did not seem to help Roger’s anger at all. “No one treats you like that y/n! You deserve better!” He yelled and Freddie looked at him. “Roger calm down, killing him will just get our drummer put into jail.” Freddie said, you nodded in agreement. “Rog, your giving a more dramatic reaction than I did, trust me it doesn’t even matter. Honestly I don’t even know if I ever really liked him in that way.” You said as you looked up at Roger, who was staring at you, almost as, if he were to look away, you’d leave. “Alright, your cool now, right? Good. Let's finish setting up before Deaky and Bri get here.” You said, not even giving Roger the time to answer your question. You knew that Roger was dramatic at times, well most of the time, but it was odd how he acted when you told him about what Scott did. “I hope you guys don’t mind but I’ve invited Paul to come and help us with the first day of making our new album.” Freddie said as he sat down on the sofa. You and Roger looked at each other and then back at him. Before Roger could pipe in, you smiled at Fred and said, “Yeah Fred, that’d be great.” You said before shooting Roger a side glare. He rolled his eyes and went to go grab his drumsticks from the control room. You knew that none of the guys liked Paul, well matter of fact neither did you, but Freddie did like him, so you don’t care as much as the boys did. Finally after you were done setting up, Brian and Deaky arrived at the studio, the first thing they did was ask you what happened with Scott. “So y/n, how did it go?” Brian asked, tossing his jacket onto the couch where Freddie sat scribbling things into his notebook.“What? How did they know beforehand?” Roger asked, most likely out of jealousy. You shrugged and walked over to Brian. “I had brunch with them earlier, so I told them. You jealous Taylor?” You asked looking at him over your shoulder with a smirk. He rolled his eyes and walked over to the drum kit. “Yeah Bri, it went really good actually, he ended up cheating on me and the-” “Woah hold on, he cheated on you?” Deaky interrupted you and you nodded. “Well yeah, but I don’t care that much, to be fair I don’t even know if I liked him as much as I led him to think. So it was mutual, but we’re gonna stay friends I hope.” You said with a bit of a smile. Just then the phone began to ring and you did a little jog to get it. “Hello, y/n y/l/n speaking.” You said into the phone while everyone else began talking about their upcoming album. It was John Reid on the phone, whom none of you have heard anything from since the end of the tour. You chatted for a bit before he finally told you what was going on. “No way! That’s awesome, I can have the boys ready by five. Thank you so much Mr. Reid.” You said excitedly before hanging up. You ran over to where the boys were with a huge grin on your face. “That was John Reid on the phone…” You began. All of their heads turned towards you, focusing their attention on you as you spoke. “Bloody hell we haven’t heard from him in ages.” Roger exclaimed. “What did he have to say y/n?” Freddie asked. “Well, Reid has a meeting set up with EMI records, they want to talk more about our album, and are willing to give us funding for it!” You exclaimed, you all knew that the band would run out of money soon enough, so this was a huge deal. “Holy shit! That’s awesome!” Freddie said. “You all need to look your best, look professional, so I need you all to be at EMI at 5 sharp, even five minutes early would be amazing.” You explained. “So I’m sending you all home to get ready.” You stood up and smiled at them. “Come on! Let's go, you all only have 3 hours to get ready. Roger you need to sober up, and Freddie you need to figure out what is going on with Paul.” You told him as you all began to get ready to leave. “All right, all right, relax!” Roger said as he went to go down the rest of his beer, but you quickly placed your hand over the bottom end of the bottle so it couldn't be tilted any further up. “Not on my watch…  give it to me.” You said, making Roger glare at you. “No, what the fuck? You’re not my mother.” He said, jerking his arm away from you. You looked him dead in the eyes. “I know that Taylor, I’m your fucking assistant, so give me the beer so you don’t fuck up this oppertunity for the rest of us by showing up to the meeting drunk.” You brutally explained to him, causing everyone to go into an awkward silence. 

          “All right well I’m gonna head out.” Brian said, breaking the awkward silence, the other two following behind him. You crossed your arms and sighed as Roger put the half full beer bottle down on the small table. “Look Rog, I don’t know what has been going on with you since the end of the tour, but it needs to end soon. I’ve been trying to help-” Roger interrupted with a scoff. “Are you joking? This is all your fault, y/n.” He grabbed his beer bottle from the table and turned his back to you. You scoffed right back at him. “How the hell is your downward spiral my fault?” You said angrily. Roger turned back around to face you, and if looks could kill his would, his eyes felt like daggers staring into yours. “Do you have no memory of the tour y/n? Do you not remember the early morning coffees, the afternoon naps we took together? Or maybe you’ve forgotten about what almost happened backstage at our concert in Miami?” You stood there as these memories flooded back to you. It’s almost as if you blocked them out when you began to think that nothing would happen with Roger. You remembered how he would bring you a coffee every morning, even if he didn’t get one himself. You remembered how before the concert started and after you had finished setting up, you and him would lay in the dressing room and just fall asleep. You remembered the way he looked at you when it got later into the night, how your heart skipped a beat every time you caught him looking at you while he was performing. You never thought anything of these actions because...well because it was Roger Taylor! Roger was usually drunk and had hookers and was always out into the early mornings. You felt you heart drop as you remembered laying in your bed after meeting Scott and dreaming of what would have happened if Roger had feelings for you. “I have never gotten that close to someone in that way, ever, and when I finally worked up the courage-” “Rog you never need courage, your the most outgoing man I know.” You countered. “With you it’s different, it’s always different.” He told you slowly shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter now, I’ve gone through so many girls since then I don’t even remember what that feeling was like.” You knew he was lying, it was so easy to tell with him, but you didn’t say anything. “I’m sorry Rog…” You apologized sincerely. He nodded. “It’s also my fault for thinking I had a chance with you anyways, your killer y/n, Scott was a lucky guy.” He said before giving you a sad smile and walking out the door. You stood in your place for a moment, shocked as you realized that Roger had completely fallen for you, at the exact same time you had fallen for him. But you were stupid enough to completely ignore the signs that Roger was giving you. You have never felt this stupid on your life. You shook yourself out of this thought train and chased him outside. He was about to get into his car, with one hand on the open drivers door. “Roger!” You shouted causing him to turn around to face you, his one hand resting on his car. “You’ll always have a chance with me.” You told him, completely serious.

Series Taglist : @triggeredpossum @toger-raylor @antoouu  @s-e-l-e-c-t-i-v-e-listener @creativedogs @wvnhedas @rockyroadthepastryarchy   @coltonthekanima @anna1523 @fandomshit6000 @shutup-sorry @a-crowd-of-newsies  @butterfliesflewaway @ultrunning @unicorntrooper @digicharr @howmanymoregalileos @sargent-barnes @sincereleygmg 

[amberenigma]

stream of consciousness thoughts on ( ovan’s ) will. and about graphics. this is your spoiler warning for volume 4: reconnection.

i spent too long last night playing gu for a hot second and now i have some Thoughts:tm: about plots, ovan, and the notion of will. enjoy some 2015 levels of rambling about objectively minuscule details. 

anyway literal toilet thought but the archives have a very interesting way of creating meaningful iconography using particular design elements of characters ( mainly the infinity eight ) and minimizing it to something both unique and recognizable. namely, the epitaph pattern icons used for each player in the archives---they’ve always been really neat, unique, and it’s been something that the cc2 team has always used in their archives since _02.

ovan’s has changed between trilogy/original gu and volume 4, which i always thought was pretty neat, especially in terms of what’s actually presented.

( but anyone with the book be like: okay but haseo has a different one too in volume 4!! and i say shshshshshshshh this came about purely because of unison skeith’s icon which uses haseo’s epitaph version since he’s.......you know.......skeith’s host. epitaph talk will come up later )

anyway excuse my 5 minute “slap a banner of images” but the difference here is obvious and i just have an appreciation for what it means with aida---mostly that aida was acknowledged and treated as a completely different entity, an anomaly that didn’t belong on ovan at all and depicted as such during the trilogy. but after kusabira fuses back with him as true neighbor ( which i always thought was a very interesting name to give tri-edge ), we get a spiffy new icon for big blue and wah-lah, aida is now cyan! YAAAA!!! whether or not ovan actually accepts her as part of him ( in which he at least seems reluctant in-game, not so much my main verse after 6 years of writing him lmao ) is rather up for debate, but here we can at least verify that she’s not there to be malicious per se ( but that doesn’t quite exclude her as a menace, see haseo’s “it’s kusabira, isn’t it. it’s that aida whispering in your ear.” ), and not to the extent of trying to completely fuck up his day. i found that slight change pretty interesting. this is where i get into the meat of what i wanted to talk about.

the notion of will in .hack---gu in particular.

but first i do wanna say that there’s this blaring fucking pothole when it comes to corbenik and the rebirth that i don’t know will ever be explained. like. if it’s a failsafe that was a one and done thing, then corbenik should have been......destroyed or severely damaged or something.....right...or at least that’s what kind of makes sense to me unless the product of the RA plan really makes epitaphs less prone to the crumbly wumblies like they were in imoq after being salvaged. although that doesn’t seem to be the case given unison skeith is a solid half corbenik/half skeith. it’s bothered me for years and canon doesn’t really lean one way or the other, it just is ( again, i’ve written something out for my corbi blog years ago and tl;dr ovan and azure kite go fish him out of the sea of data, put him together, but he lacks the ability to rebirth again--i need to tag that thread actually ). but maybe he’s never meant to truly disappear as his moniker implies. always coming back ( additionally fitting for ovan, but i digress ). 

will is an interesting concept in gu. and at least with ovan specifically, it’s a strangely powerful trait in him, which may be why part of why he has this sort of enigmatic sort of vibe to him to anyone---this notion of, “i don’t know what this guy wants, but whatever it is, he’ll get it one way or another.” and i think it may really be stronger than at first glance, pivotal almost. we see it twice in dire moments, even though he’s so, so tired.

the first ( and not chronologically, there’s obvious some other off-screen moments we can speculate, these are just two instances that come to mind clearly ) is with the fight with cubia in redemption, where 7 of the 8 are trying to break through ballsack cubia’s final AT field ( forgive me it looks like an AT field what can we expect from sadamoto okay ). yata says they can’t do it without “the epitaph of rebirth”, which always struck me as odd for quite awhile. what did he mean by epitaph of rebirth? didn’t haseo have all of the epitaph data in his pc? he data drained corbenik twice now, they should be okay, no?

but, yata wasn’t referring to corbenik specifically in this case. he was referring to ovan, and in that extension, corbenik as his epitaph. the remnant data skeith absorbed was essentially not enough in this case despite corbenik containing a metric fuckton of data between himself and aida. what skeith can’t devour is human will. ovan’s will.

in the archives, ovan’s specifically noted to have an extremely high mental resilience---it’s the primary trait that attracted corbenik in the first place when searching for a host. this could mean quite a few things, honestly, and taking into account what little of his past we actually know, it makes sense that his sense of direction is incredibly poignant, his will to be essentially unmatched ( although parallel to haseo’s in my opinion, just simply a different flavor ). the man’s just an absolute unit. it’s also noted that ovan didn’t really take into account the repercussions of activating the rebirth and purging the net, thus spawning our good friend cubia, so he truly was just ready to go sleep forever. paraphrasing aura here, the rest of the infinity eight’s praying for ovan to hear their collective voices ( admittedly it just boils down to ovan hearing haseo’s voice, gestures at lost files in the trilogy archives which is a hilarious conversation by the way; “leave me be, i’m tired. i just want to sleep.” ) is what gets him to muster up any remaining strength he has left to come help. 

it’s an interesting sequence of scenes with haseo’s cracked data just magically healing up once ovan enters the picture---his presence alone drives haseo. it’s his image and his voice that’s alongside haseo’s ( which is an interesting choice because it could have been all eight of them in this case ). his will is what catalyzes everything to it’s end, including himself. 

the second is the avatar fight with moralta, where haseo realizes that he can’t do it alone again---and ovan is still surprisingly able to put himself through that kind of strain despite being in the deep freeze for a year ( avatar and all! again! goddamn! ), combining into unison skeith and yeeting the shit out of giant slug baby once and for all. this particular encounter takes a different note compared to cubia considering we hear both of them synced up ( literally all of their dialogue is the same )---and beyond the fact this whole epilogue is about haseo and ovan, it really ends up being the sheer fact that it’s both of them together that overcome and stop moralta from fucking up [the world]. sheer will’s a strong motive for pretty much all of vol 4 though, so this is kinda expected. it’s haseo’s lament at the end that poses an interesting discussion---he couldn’t do it by himself again ( in this case he is referring to everyone as a whole as well before finding ovan, too ). for all of the power that he holds via skeith, kusabira, etc, he still needed ovan there to push to victory. i’ve always felt that was an interesting distinction the staff has made throughout the gu timeline ( in any retelling of it, actually ). even ovan has to let him know that it’s the fact he had a warband of support that got him that far in the first place despite the trauma ovan had pushed him through.

the series has been consistent about ovan’s ability to push things the extra mile, even for things that he may not personally want, even if there’s few people he’d undoubtedly be alongside. his involvement makes all of the difference, and that’s powerful in it’s own way ( he is the antihero after all ). we see the power ovan has by guiding the events of gu throughout all three volumes, but we really see just how strong he is when he’s actually on-screen the few times he’s there for more than 10 seconds. it’s kind of fucking insane such a laidback personality has that much influence on the outcome of incredibly dangerous/dire/important situations.

when he knows exactly what he wants, he knows exactly what makes people tick, and what makes the world around him change. ovan’s will is a terrifying weapon and it’s one of my favorite details about him. 

and last thing that just came to mind from playing around last night..

in one of the demo trailers, haseo’s monologue expresses the emotions he’s experienced throughout playing to that point---specific people embody specific emotions, and in ovan’s case, he’s associated with despair. despair drives ovan--haseo’s correct about that honestly even if the context of what he knows boils down to the fact ovan’s burdened with aida and saving his sister ( things we see in the archives explicitly point out that the indou parents are straight up dead ). this man has lost so much, is losing too much, and is on the brink of losing even more during the events of gu and it shows. despair is a powerful force, a reaction to the things one has experienced and an outlet for all of the things it can cause. a man with nothing left to lose is the most dangerous and the most powerful of them all even in silence---and somehow, somehow ovan has managed to keep his edge despite being on the brink of death himself in the real world. that’s fucking scary.

[bullseyegames]

Macavity’s Sister

Alright I wanna preface this by saying that this Headcannon only applies to the cats movie and not any of the stage productions specifically because of the appearance of characters in the movie.

So I’ve been watching the movie over and over again, as one does, and I had a thought stuck in my head that I can’t seem to get rid of and it’s driving me bonkers. So in the stage version of cats Grizabella is usually portrayed as an older cat who is more gray and raggedy. As such for almost all the stage productions I Headcannon her as the mother of Macavity and Munkustrap.

The movie version of Grizabella is a lot younger than her play counterpart and as such I don’t think she is anyones mother, but I do believe she is someone’s sibling. If you read the title of this post you already know what’s happening, but I think Grizabella is macavity’s sister.

NOW HEAR ME OUT CAUSE I KNOWS THIS IS WEIRD!!! Cause despite the fact she isn’t macavity’s mother I still really think she needs to have that connection to macavity otherwise the tribes abject hatred of her doesn’t make sense. We also have to consider the fact that the tribe isn’t afraid of her like they are macavity so I don’t think she committed any serious crime like murder or theft or kidnapping or anything so wtf happened?

Well imma bout to tell ya! GATHER ROUND KITTENS ITS STORY TIME!!!

Years before Victoria’s arrival at the tribe, two kittens are discovered abandoned down by the River Thames in a cloth bag. The bag rets on dry land but is soaking wet as if it had been thrown and pulled out of the river again. A young Deuteronomy discovers this bag during a nightly patrol of the city and opens it to reveal two small brown kittens. Both kittens are small and shivering, but oddly enough neither of the kittens are wet at all despite the condition to the bag they were contained in. Deuteronomy only takes a few moments to acgkniwledge the strange phenomenon she is witnessing, and judging by the heavier breathing of the male kitten it is obvious who the culprit is.

Deuteronomy returns to the tribe and the kittens are quickly accepted into the ranks. The two soon grow into a young Tom and Queen who are dubbed Macavity and Grizabella.

Macavity is a strapping and strong dark Tom who shows a talent for protection and diplomacy. In secret he trains with the lead protected Deuteronomy in both physical and magical defense and offense. He grows up spending tome with Deuteronomy two children Munkustrap and Rum Tum Tugger and over time the three become like brothers.

Grizabella on the other other hand grows up to be beautiful and graceful. She has a wonderful singing voice and greatly enjoys the attention she receives from many cats in the tribe. She spends the majority of her time with a small gaggle of queens including Cassandra, Demeter, and Bombalurina. While many Toms (and queens) have their eyes on her, Grizabella has shown no interest in relationships more serious than a one night fling. After all she was young and beautiful and had all the time in the world to make a choice.

Both Macavity and Grizabella were enraptured by the beauty and talent of the tribe, but they differed slightly in what enraptured them. Grizabella loved the attention and the affection the tribe held for each other and she soon found she couldn’t live without having at least a portion of that physical connection everyday. Macavity on the other hand became more obsessed in the religious persutes of the tribe, that of the everlasting cat and the jellicle choice.

Macavity’s obsession with the choice became more clear to Deuteronomy once she was declared leader. Hardly a day went by where Macvity didn’t bring up the choice to her in conversation or during his lessons or to her sons. At first she encouraged this curiosity assuming it was macavity’s desire to learn more about the tribe and their beliefs. Over time however this obsession became more worrying as macavity began constantly challenging to contests and competitions of all kinds to prove his masterful was in all skills and subjects. When macvity would win he would often parade himself around the well know chandelier bowing and laughing triumphantly. If he were to lose he would often be seen sulking off to parts unknown. One day after a particularly embarrassing loss Deuteronomy sensed a presence above here and noticed that Macavity was actually hiding in the rafters above where the chandelier would rise up every year, staring down at her and the other jellicles with territorial eyes.

Soon the gossip cats were abound talking about how Macavity was seemingly obsessed with the jellicle choice and was planning to compete that year. This news reached a startled Grizabella who was shaken by the thought of her brother leaving her behind in his efforts to ascend to the heavyside. She approached Macavity with this news and found her brother in an almost manic state of planning and drafting. He smiled at his sister in the way he always did, but there was something behind his eyes that shook Grizabella to her core. He told her of his plan, he had learned who was going to compete that year and had learned what all of their songs and dances would be. He planned to sabotage the other contestants, but he couldn’t do it himself due to Deuteronomys new watchfulness over him. He asked his sister to do it in his stead in order to make his dream come true. He promised her that if he was reborn, he would come back to her and protect her in his new life where he would finally be perfect.

Grizabella was hesitant, but she loved her brother far too much to say no... so she agreed. She studied his plans endlessly, spending less time with her friends and admirers and disappearing for hours on end in the month leading up to the ball. She claimed it was due to illness and worry about her brother, which wasn’t a complete lie when she thought about it. Macavity had lessened on his grand competitions and had spent more time getting closer to old Deuteronomy and her sons in order to garner more favor from them.

When the ball arrived the competitors dances and songs were in a surprising level of disarray. Singing cats croaked, dancing cats tripped over themselves, and acting cats suddenly found themselves stuttering over every other word. Through all this however, Macavity looked in his prime dancing about and singing perfectly on key. Macavitys presentation for the choice was without a doubt the greatest performance of the night thus far and he was ready to be chosen, but to his surprise Deuteronomy announced there was one more performer.

The tribe watched in awe as the young queen in question stepped forward. She was relatively new to the tribe only being there for a year and as such Macavity hadn’t even considered her as a competitor for the choice. In truth she had only told Deuteronomy about her intention to compete the night before, after a visit to the vet with her human family. Deuteronomy had accepted her request immediately. The young queen glittered under the moonlight as she danced and sang her song of joy, music, flowers, illness, and a prayer for a new beginning. The jellicles were enraptured as she performed, but rage burned in one Jellicles eyes.

Grizabella watched her brother in fear as he slinked deeper into the crowd of jellicles to conceal himself. Then after a moment Grizabella felt a chill, a sensation she hadn’t felt since her and her brother had been thrown into the River Thames all those years ago. Long ago that feeling was her salvation, now it was her worst nightmare. Grizabella looked up at the young queen in horror as suddenly a loud snap was heard as the young queen landed from a graceful leap only to have her leg snap. The young queen screamed as she collapsed and the tribe fell into panic as they raced to her aid.

Then suddenly the situation halted as the young queen painfully forced herself to stand. Through her tear filled eyes was a quiet hope and desperation to finish what she started. Several of her fellow competitors rushed to her side and with their help she finished her dance. Old Deuteronomy smiled at the queen through there was distinct sorrow in her eyes as she quietly announced to her and the tribe that she was that years jellicle choice.

The cats smiled and cried and laughed as the song of the heavyside layer was sung. Grizabella watched with a small smile on her face as the queen was carried to sit in the chandelier as a few Toms struck a match to light the candles. Grizabella watched in silent joy as the queen ascended far beyond any jellicles sight to a pace where she would feel no pain, sustain no injury, and return to them one day in perfection. Grizabella would later realize that this was the happiest moment of her life, before everything went wrong.

“How dare you”

It was a quiet and terrifying voice that caused every cat to suddenly shiver and turn. Macavity stood a distance away from the celebrating jellicles, his stance wide, his eyes bright with a furious maelstrom of held back magic. Macavity began to scream at Deuteronomy in rage at the insanity of her choice. This queen this stranger ha fondly bend with them for a year had the worst presentation of the night and was chosen while he, a true jellicle raised alongside jellicle royalty with the most flawless dance had been denied his right!

Deuteronomy calmly and sternly shames Macavity not only for his hubris but for his shameful use of the gift the everlasting cat gave him. For a moment the tribe was confused, but quickly realized the implications of Deauteronomys statement. Macavity has been the one to break the young queens leg. Half the tribe stepped back in fright from the Tom while the other stepped forward in anger. Macavity laugher as the jellicles he had many times before bested in contest of strength seemed to strip forward to challenge him once again.

Deuteronomy looked at the young Tom she once had considered her son with resolve as a proclamation of banishment left her lips. The tribe was both shocked and understanding of the decree, but Grizabella and Macavity both stood in stunned silence. Macavity looked mortified for a moment as he stared at the jellicle leader, then her sons, and then his sister standing besides his newly formed enemies. A twisted grin spread across his lips as he quietly and calmly revealed the betrayals of the night were not his alone.

The eyes of the jellicles slowly traveled to Grizabella who immediately raced and landed at Deuteronomys feet quietly begging for forgiveness. She admitted to her crimes that night but swore she never intended to hurt any of the jellicles, she just didn’t want to lose her brother. There was silence as Deuteronomy gently bent down and, much to every jellicles surprise, lifted her chin and gave her a sad smile. She told Grizabella that while it would take time, she would not be forced to leave with her brother.

Grizabella sobbed with relief, but that relief was soon vanquished as she heard her brother once more scream with rage. He stared at his sister with a seething look of betrayal before charging the jellicles. For a moment it appeared he was winning, but he quickly realized something about his little competitions. He had fought almost every jellicle one on one, but he had never fought against them all at once. Macavity’s was quickly overpowered and stumbled backwards in pain as he felt the pain of a claw cutting across his eye. He stumbled backwards starring at the blood on his paw and the blood on the paw of the jellicle who had done the dead. Munkustrap stepped forward seemingly unfazed by the blood on his claws as he once more reiterated his mothers decree.

Macavity glared at the jellicles quietly, ensuring he made eye contact with each and every one. Before finally landing on that of his treasonous sister and the jellicle leader. He proclaimed that he would get what rightfully belonged to him. It was only a matter of time. No sooner had the words left his mouth, when Grizabella watched her brother scatter into dust and vanish, the sound of his laughter echoing through the theatre.

This ball would forever live in infamy for the tribe, and yet Grizabella would still see one more ball before she followed in her brothers dark footsteps. Though that is a much different, and much more tragic story that will be told... but not just yet.

(Hope you enjoyed reading through my inner ramblings about the cats movie! If your interested in hearing part two of this story and tale of Grizabella’s fall from grace please let me know! :3).

[sinceileftyoublog]

Weekend Picks: 2/21-2/23

Big Head Todd and the Monsters

BY JORDAN MAINZER

There were no live picks for yesterday, but plenty for the weekend!

2/21: Objekt, Smartbar

Here’s what we wrote about Objekt’s Cocoon Crush when we named it our #6 album of 2018:

“An artist solidly known for his bold exploration of techno, Objekt now takes a plunge into a new kind of ethereal beauty on Cocoon Crush. A foray into ambient music, Objekt subverts a lot of what we have come to expect from him. The line between digital and analog is smeared. Tracks are ungrounded, punctuated still by percussion and synthesizers, but in patterns and textures that materialize in mysterious ways. And just as they appear, they stutter and morph in ways unexpected to the listener. The cold machinations of the dancefloor are still present; they are just stretched and masked in exciting and rewarding ways.”

Darwin and Flower Flood open.

2/21: Knuckle Puck, Beat Kitchen

We previewed Knuckle Puck’s set at Durty Nellie’s two years ago:

“Covering last year’s Riot Fest, I found Knuckle Puck the worst set of the festival, though I did remark that the band’s new, unreleased material had the crowd’s attention as much as their released material. As it turns out, the album versions of the songs are pretty good. Shapeshifter, released about a month later in October, was exemplary of what Knuckle Puck do best–write catchy songs with powerful melodies and hooks, enough to showcase the band’s more-than-capable instrumental prowess while avoiding the try-hard singing that plagues so many of today’s emo bands.”

Cleveland power poppers Heart Attack Man and Wilkes Barre hardcore band One Step Closer open.

Objekt; Photo by Kasia Zacharko

2/21: James McMurtry, Old Town School of Folk Music

We previewed James McMurtry’s show at FitzGerald’s two years ago:

“James McMurtry plays tonight as part of the 37th Annual American Music Festival at Fitzgerald’s, still touring strong off of Complicated Game (one of our favorite albums of 2015) like he was when it first came out. When we caught up with him last November, he said of new songs, 'I’ve jotted them down on my phone as I’ve gone along. That whole record was written on an iPhone3. Unfortunately, I dropped that phone, I don’t have the cool Notes app anymore.' Well, either he’s got a new phone or doesn’t need one, because late last year, he released 'State of the Union', a trademark jab at fascism and racism. It might not be as succinct as him telling us 'There never been a good Nazi a day on this earth dead or alive,' but at least there’s hope for more new material.”

2/21: Raphael Saadiq & Jamila Woods, Vic Theatre

Last year, Raphael Saadiq released his first album in 8 years (since the great Stone Rollin’). Jimmy Lee is named after, inspired by, and partially about his brother who died of heroin overdose after contracting HIV many years ago. As such, whether singing or inhabiting the character of his brother, Saadiq is at times uncharacteristically somber. He’s at the other end of a barrel of a gun on “Sinners Prayer”, reflecting on his wrongs, wondering whether it’s too late: “When a sinner is praying, God, will you hear it?” He wears a heavy burden on the funky, stomping “Something Keeps Calling Me”, the song’s wailing guitar solo in the bridge a mirror to his emotions. Saadiq calls out society, too, just as much as himself. “The people are mad,” he sings on “This World is Drunk”. The one-two punch of anti-mass incarceration jams “Rikers Island” and “Rikers Island Redux” presents the issue as simply as it should be put: “Too many n***as in Rikers Island / Why must it be / Set them free.” The former expresses its anger with upbeat piano and a simple refrain, the latter with spoken word over gentle guitar strums.

Best, though, are the reflections of grace that rise above the despair. On “I’m Feeling Love”, over a slower, more warbling funk, Saadiq, singing as his brother, is thankful for the little that he has. And on the skittering, rolling “Glory To The Veins”, he again distills his brother’s death to what matters: “I lost a brother to AIDS / Still, he laughed every day.” We’re lucky that as he gets older, reflecting on his life, and playing live reflecting on his career in Tony! Toni! Toné! and all the legendary artists like D’Angelo and Solange that he’s produced, Saadiq is willing to impart his wisdom.

Jamila Woods’ LEGACY! LEGACY! was one of our favorite albums of last year:

“Yes, Jamila Woods’ stunning LEGACY! LEGACY! is a tribute to important artists of color. What makes it stand out among other tributes, however, is the remarkable way Woods is able to present how each figure has guided her. Take opener 'BETTY', about funk artist Betty Davis, a woman married to a far more famous jazz trumpeter who gets his own song later on. Woods explores the gender and power dynamic in the relationship and uses it to make a personal and universal plea: 'Let me be, I’m trying to fly.' Fly, she does. On 'ZORA', over a hip hop beat, Woods succinctly declares in an all-time line, 'My weaponry is my energy', the drive and desire the catalyst in the noble goal to make her mark on the world as a black woman as opposed to while being a black woman. In various interviews surrounding the album release, Woods spoke about being inspired by black artists who perform and make art truly for themselves independent and often in spite of the race of the end consumers. 'Motherfuckers won’t shut up,' beings 'MUDDY', referencing Muddy Waters adoption of electric guitar because white audiences would talk over his sets; 'Shut up, motherfucker,' she sings inversely on 'MILES', 'I don’t take requests.' But the percussive, jazzy 'EARTHA' best encapsulates her aims of self-love and ultimate pride. 'I used to be afraid of myself,' Woods admits before stating, 'I don’t wanna compromise.' Ultimately, the refrain of, 'Who’s gonna share my love for me with me?' is the mindset by which Woods approaches relationships throughout the record and then life itself. You can be a part of it, but she comes first.”

DJ Duggz also opens.

2/21: The Wailers, SPACE

We previewed The Wailers’ set at Old Town School of Folk Music last year:

“Bob Marley might not be around, but his original band, containing many of the original members and their children, continues to play his songs. Seeing them in a venue as small as this is rare.”

Tonight at SPACE--an even smaller venue--they play two shows, an early and late one.

Joe Henry

2/22: Big Head Todd and the Monsters, Vic Theatre

We previewed Big Head Todd & The Monsters’ show at the Vic Theatre two years ago:

“The Colorado jam band that saw mainstream success in the 90′s is touring fresh off of last year’s heavy New World Arisin’. In 2016, as Big Head Blues Club (the band’s project with a wide array of blues legends like Cedric Burnside and Charlie Musselwhite), they released Way Down Inside. But for the full potential of Big Head Todd and the Monsters, go a few years back and try 2014′s Black Beehive, a rawer, more diverse blues record than you’d expect from the band who recorded 'Bittersweet'. What’s for sure is that live, they’ll lean heavily on the new material while not forgoing their more beloved classics.”

They haven’t released a new album since then but have released a new song every month as part of a series. They should play some of these live, including gospel piano ballad “Hard Times Come No More” and the funky, rollicking “Train of Storms”.

Nashville band Los Colognes open.

2/22: Todd Barry, Thalia Hall

We previewed Todd Barry’s sets at SPACE two years ago:

“So, this isn’t exactly music, but deadpan comedian Todd Barry is performing 2 stand-up sets in one night at SPACE. Commemorating his 30 years of being a comedian, he’s going on another crowd work-only tour like the one documented in his 2014 special Todd Barry: The Crowd Work Tour. From watching that and his most recent Netflix special Spicy Honey, Barry’s dry observational humor is effortlessly tailored to specific crowds and cities, making this one of the must-see comedy events of the year.”

Even if tonight isn’t crowd work-only, he should do some of his specialty.

Chicago-based stand-up comic Chelsea Hood opens.

Hot Snakes

2/22: Joe Henry, Old Town School of Folk Music

Since we last saw Joe Henry five years ago, he’s done quite a bit of production work and released two albums, 2017′s Thrum, and last year’s The Gospel According to Water. In between the two, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer; considering that, the latter takes on weight. It’s, first and foremost, raw, from the guitar playing on “Famine Walk” to the title track. But Gospel sports moments of beauty, too, as on the woodwind of “Mule” and rich vocal harmonies of “In Time For Tomorrow” and “The Fact of Love”.

Americana duo Birds of Chicago open.

Pissed Jeans; Photo by Ebru Yildiz

2/22: Tim and Eric, Chicago Theatre

Who knows what Tim and Eric will bring to their Chicago stop of their Mandatory Attendance tour, other than their purported "brand new spoofs, goofs and insanity” and “special surprises.” The last time I saw them, Dr. Steve Brule showed up and almost married Jan Skylar!

2/22: Hot Snakes, Pissed Jeans, & HIDE, Empty Bottle

Music Frozen Dancing is upon us again, with suggested donations benefiting the Chicago Coalition for the Homeless! Go and donate!

We last listened to Hot Snakes from the medical tent at September’s Riot Fest. Since then, they’ve released the first two of four seasonal 7-inch singles leading up to the next LP: the burner “Checkmate” and wonderfully plodding laziness anthem “I Shall Be Free”. (The latter’s 7-inch has “A Place in the Sun” as an exclusive.)

Hot Snakes also play Sunday night at the Bottle with an opening set from post punk band Pink Avalanche.

Allentown hardcore band Pissed Jeans haven’t released anything since 2017′s Why Love Now, but they’re thankfully back to warm your pants before Hot Snakes. Maybe they’ll have some new songs to play?

Local industrial duo HIDE (artist Heather Gabel and percussionist Seth Sher) released their second album last year, the raw, disgusting Hell is Here. The drum programming and screaming is just as cringingly visceral as the recorded sounds of vomit hitting a toilet that end opening track “Chainsaw”.

Synth band Crash Course in Science, arty The Hecks, and local punk band Hitter also open.

[thevalueofdowntime]

Day 2 & 3 - Big Fly

“The jury’s still out on this (and I could be angrily updating this through rage tears), but my checked luggage was tagged with “CAN” on it, and the Delta worker said it was going to be checked clear to Guangzhou since my Beijing layover was so short (<6 hours). Unclear if that’s because they bumped up my tickets, or if that’s standard regardless of your ticket class.”

No rage tears, but I did have to pick up and re-check my luggage, and by the time I got the Beijing airport, they had apparently scrambled all my shit and I had to wait at the kiosk for 30 minutes before they resolved my ticket. I really thought I was going to be stuck in Beijing for the next day or so and I’d have to unfuck it with my own money.

ALSO Tumblr is blocked in China and I didn’t feel like putting the work into getting a VPN, so this is why I’m writing this literally two months later in January.

Before we talk about Beijing though, I should talk about the flight itself. As expected, business class is swanky as shit, with a travel kit I did not open and immediately gave to my parents upon arrival in China because they can make use of that, a fancy food menu, a gigante screen, and a shit ton of leg room, including a seat that could recline all the way down and be complete flat (!!).

I actually have to be honest - the food was only okay. I didn’t think it was markedly better than the food you normally get on international flights, but there certainly was a lot of it. The appetizer bit that shown above was probably actually my favorite because I love cheese and bread and cured meats. 

Any, fast reviews! Spoilers ahead.

Annihilation - way more gore and horror than I thought it would be (probably because I didn’t bother doing any research on this movie, but I liked it. Definitely felt like Arrival as a horror movie. Shades of Amigara Fault when Natalie Portman climbs into the hole at the end.

In Bruges - I suspect anti-Americanism was much hipper when this movie was made because a third of the jokes in the first half are at my country's expense. Anyway I hated the entire first half and skipped to the end after I saw Ralph Fiennes' first on-screen appearance is just him screaming at his wife.

Author’s note: a lot of this was written contemporaneously and is being edited on the fly, but I just wanted to comment that I apparently only watched two movies on the way over to China? How did that happen?

Alright, so here’s what happened when I was in Beijing. As you can see, the check-in part is where everything went to bullshit. 

PEK SPEEDRUN, 11/17/2018 5:30 PM - landed and disembarked 5:45 PM - cleared immigration 6:00 PM - cleared baggage and customs 6:30 PM - checked in (they couldn't find my ticket so there was a half hour stretch where I thought I would miss the flight) 6:35 PM - cleared security (lightning quick, although I received a thorough patdown on my junk) 6:40 PM - terminal 6:45 PM - boarding begins 7:00 PM - we get on the shuttle 7:15 PM - I don't know if this was actually 15 minutes, but it felt like forever on the shuttle

The flight from Beijing to Guangzhou is three hours long, so I watched another movie! I realized I had never actually seen Star Wars Attack of the Clones from end-to-end, so I gave it a whirl.

Actually, let me continue whining about In Bruges. In the one hour that I watched, I saw no redeeming qualities, which is a pretty low bar. I felt like I was taking crazy pills, so I read a review in the Guardian about why they liked it so much and skimmed a few other takes on it from Reddit. Long story short, I'm pretty sure it just isn't the kind of movie for me:

- I didn't think any of it was funny. - Colin Farrell annoyed me the entire time because he was rude and violent to everybody he meant, including slinging cheap anti-American jokes and a weird sidebar about retaliatory violence. - Am I supposed to feel sorry for a hitman who accidentally killed two people instead of just one? There's a line about how there's a Christmas tree in London with gifts that'll never be opened, but was it that hard for him to make the same level of reflection for the priest he murdered? Or anybody else he would've subsequently murdered in his job as an assassin? - What the shit was that romantic subplot with dollar store Claire Danes?

Anyway, what does this have to do with Attack of the Clones? Attack of the Clones has significantly worse writing (both plot and dialogue), significantly worse acting (literally any line by Hayden Christensen and half the lines by Natalie Portman), and worse effects (the explosion of the ship in the opening scene is impossibly bad), but I enjoyed it a hundred times more because I didn't intensely hate the main character and there's one specific dialogue that worked really well.

When Obi-Wan and Anakin are chasing Count Dooku, their ship takes damage and Padme falls out. Anakin wants to go after her, but Obi-Wan shouts him down. I felt like Obi-Wan's lines in that moment are the only ones in the entire film that last more than two exchanges and are well-acted. We kind of see this again in Revenge of the Sith because Obi-Wan's last words to Anakin are remarkably well-acted, even IT'S OVER ANAKIN I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND, which, as Russell once pointed out, is a decently well-acted line if you don't actually process the insanity of the words. Anyway, a few other points:

- Rose Byrne is in this movie! She's one of Padme's decoys. Keira Knightley played a decoy in The Phantom Menace, so I think it's funny that there's a pair of now well-known British actresses in these awful movies. - I applaud the production team for giving Padme a new outfit in every scene (whereas every other character wears the same clothes scene after scene), but they're all completely crazy town banana pants. - I'm sure somebody has pointed this out and refuted it, but is there any particular reason why Naboo had to be created and they couldn't just make Padme's homeworld Alderaan? - I fell asleep a handful of times in the movie, but I never quite figured out how/why Padme went from "don't look at me like that, it makes me uncomfortable" to "I truly love you let's get married." I feel like the bar for bodyguard sexual harassment is pretty low, and Anakin takes the bar and snaps it over his leg.

Anyway, I got to Guangzhou around midnight and we took a long drive to my cousin's empty apartment. China still has that kind of Blade Runner feel to it because of all the skyscrapers with neon lights and nearby drab looking apartments with mold growing on the side and aluminum bars on all the balconies and windows making it look like a prison.

[youdecode]

5 Quick Handwriting Features Expose a Lot About Your Saucy Personality

And style, by the way, is a very important thing. It is like your signature, your handwriting or it is something that you develop that is your way of presenting yourself … Robert Barry

Formal research came around a few years back when National pen companies in the US gave away about 5000 different personality traits.

Writing reveals a lot more about a person, more than one can imagine.

Graphology, a study of handwriting, has been around the time of Aristotle.

Interestingly, teachers know a lot about a student’s personality.

Do they study graphology? Most probably not. They catch consistencies.

My mother, being a teacher, come across several handwritings.

By skipping just a few pages, she can tell about the personality of a student examined.

She can catch the patterns: neat writing reflects a confident student, and untidy handwriting shows an under-confident one.

Not backed with research, these conclusions are general formulation after examining specific patterns and consistency in writing.

Humans are so complicated with intricate webs of personality and characteristics.

However, indeed, people can convey several ideas through this standard mode of communication.

How can you apply graphology in your life to generalize a person’s personality trait and temperament?

Let’s examine a few easy factors which can instantly give you the idea of a personality type.

1. Handwriting zones

  You might be already aware of three zones for handwriting: upper, middle, and lower. Each of these can be analyzed to deduce a personality trait.

The upper zone correlates with the person’s intellectual ability, the middle zone with sociability, and the lower zone with the biological drive.

The domination in one of the zones reflects a person’s most enthusiasm in that region.

To simply put, zones with uncontrolled limit and disproportionality signify over-enthusiastic response in that domain.

For instance, a short loop in the upper zone indicates a below-average response in intellectual domains, reflecting less ambitious awareness, as the upper region coincides with intellect.

Upper zone

Watch out for the letters “b d f h I k l t” to judge a person solely based on intellectual characteristics.

3mm is an average height, and higher than this extension correlates with positive attributes of intelligence, ambition, and imagination.

People who draw lower than 3 mm demonstrate a lack of intellectual ideas.

Middle zone

Small letters, without any lower or upper loops like “a c e m n o r s t u v w x,” fall in the middle-zone, indicating everyday emotions and social life.

Writing with large middle-zone letters indicates an over-inflated ego. Writers with such characteristics are attention-seekers, expecting others to comply with their ways.

Large middle-zones are often found in children because they do not have a balanced view of reality, which in most cases is only subjective.

Even adults who write with a large middle-zone do not have fully developed their existence.

Lower zone

This area dominates instinctive materialistic concern and sexual drive.

Analyze Loop letters “g p q y z” by the length and loop width.

The length of a lower loop indicates their willingness to achieve the desire — the more the downward stretch, the more willingness for growth and expansion, and vice versa.

Additionally, writers with long lower loops are physically active and own intense sexual gratification.

2. Typographical layout Margins

  One can analyze the margins to understand a person’s personality.

Equal margins

If a person typically writes in a justified or centered layout, it reflects the need for privacy.

These people demand to be understood clearly, especially in verbal communication.

Further, such cases indicate thought clarity, emotional stability, and good judgment.

Narrow left margin

Writing which leaves a narrow left margin reflects a person who seeks freedom from social contact, from the ghost of the past, or the threatening fear of practicality.

Narrow right margins

Such writers want to express, communicate and relate with others.

They are willing to move forward in life, mostly with a sense of super-focused individuality.

3. Spacing

  Cramped Letter-spacing

If you write compactly where words, letters, and lines jumble together, it reflects impulsive behavior and spontaneously in different situations.

Wide Letter-spacing

Leaving wider spaces between your letters is an indicator of extravagance, self-confidence, and sociability.

Word-spacing

The distance between words represents the separation one wishes to keep between society and himself.

4. Pressure

The pressure you write with speaks a lot about your personality.

Heavy pressure

Writers with heavy pressure leave a strong mark on the paper and the person’s head, who knows the basics of analyzing writing.

Heavy pressure indicates a forceful, strong-headed, and productive individual who wants to be known in society.

Determination, endurance, aggressive-spirit are all the characteristics of people who write under heavy pressure.

Such people are often outdoor types, as they wish to channel heavy pressure through exercise and sports.

In short, deep pressure reflects a more profound passion for life, adventure, travel, challenge, and of course, sexual energy.

Medium pressure

The only difference between the qualities of medium pressure and high-pressure people is a level of intensity.

Such people also contain positive drive, determination, energy, and resourcefulness.

Apart from the same qualities, these people district features like dynamism and vibrancy.

Low Pressure

People who write with low pressure tend to change directions.

Just like their light and flexible script, they see flexibility in every domain of their life.

They can not easily switch jobs only but also their partners.

Interestingly, owing to their flexibility, they can easily forgive and accept people.

Additionally, being more mentally invested than physically, they are more of a thinker than a doer.

Some other district features of people writing with slight pressure include lightheartedness and easygoing.

5. Slants

Watch out for writing leaning towards a rightward slant or a leftward slant.

Vertical slants

A vertical writer forms a 90-degree angle with the baseline, making writing neither slant towards the left nor right but right in the middle.

Even if the slant is not significant enough, a shift lower than 10 degrees is considered vertical writing.

Dominated by logical reasoning and under-ruled by emotions, vertical writers are well-equipped to fight different emergency circumstances.

Additionally, vertical writers surface a certain distance from everyone else, signifying they cannot relax well in others’ company and cannot endeavor to fit in.

Rightward/Forward slant

Writing that slant towards the page’s right indicates a future-oriented person, unafraid to take risks and show vulnerability.

They are friendly, outgoing, and ambitious.

Contrary to the vertical handers, emotions overrule them rather than logic, making them willing to share their thoughts and experiences with others.

Extreme right-slanting

Extreme of any writing style typically indicates some extremely unfavorable characteristics.

For instance, people writing with extreme right-slant are stubborn.

They want everyone to keep them informed of every happening, so could they diminish their loneliness — in short, they seek attention and demand love.

Left/backward slanting

I haven’t seen many who write with such a feature.

They live in the past, unlike being future-orientated.

Being introverts, they do not appreciate groups or making new friends, but they share closer ties with their mothers.

They take a while to make new friends, but those selected remain friends for long.

Extreme left-slanting

Such a writer opposes each and everything relating to communication or social matters.

Always feeling awkward in making new friends, this antisocial being often remains single.

Inconsistent slant

Interestingly, people also own inconsistencies in their slant, correlating with the unstable personality.

Further, it reveals a quickly changing unpredictable nature.

Such people are all over the place, pulled in different directions — like being extrovert at the moment to introvert at the other, from being a social bird to withdrawing to isolation in the other.

6. Size

Your writing size says a lot about you.

A person with a medium script tends to be stable and adaptable — both these qualities reflect in any of the tasks they perform.

Small size handwriting

People writing letters with less than 1.2 mm are self-confident and self-assured.

They can make sound judgments by weighing everything with objectivity and reason.

Such writers own a great degree of precision, concentration, and super-sharp focus, so at large found in research areas like computer science mathematics, where they exceptionally perform.

Final words

Graphology is so powerful to identify people legally.

Additionally, I was surprised how people judge others’ writing for job hiring, and interestingly for marriage proposals. 

The analysis above would not make you 100% accurate in judging someone, but it will give you a rough idea about someone’s personality.

Definitely, self reflect on your personality traits — first.

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[secretradiobrooklyn]

That Gingerbread Feeling | 12.19 & 12.25.20

Secret Radio | 12.19 & 12.25.20 | Hear it here.

That Gingerbread Feeling edition

1. Irving Berlin - “Snow” 

I really enjoy picturing Rosemary Clooney beelining for a snowbank with a bottle of shampoo in one hand, blissfully mashing clumps of snow into her hair.

2. Christie Laume - “La musique et la danse”

The payoff holler in this song is like hearing an unknown animal call from the palm trees over there. 

3. Gedou - live 1975

This is a straight-up holdover from the last broadcast. We were delighted to discover Gedou’s Japanese glam rock glory — especially in the context of the videos, where you can see how extremely unlike their world they are. In this one, a crowd of excited teens watches and claps along, and you can tell that they’re the rockers of their peers — they all sport variations on early rock pompadours. Gedou, however, has blown right past that style and is going full-orchid Spiders from Mars. They appear to be loving the shit out of every second onstage, and it’s completely infectious. This take also has a killer lead-in to a great live “Scent,” the song of theirs we played last week. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdAP9ud-uEQ

4. Mannequin Men - “Private School”

I would like to shout out the rich music life of Chicago’s rock world, specifically from 2002-2008 but extending in both directions on the calendar. I feel truly fortunate to have been in Bound Stems, on Flameshovel Records, for most of those years. James and Jesse worked from an office above the Empty Bottle, sharing the space with a young Riot Act Media, and that label was the center of so much great music. Paige and I both especially loved Mannequin Men’s “Fresh Rot” album — I always think of me and Paige in the Stems band van on Milwaukee Ave, headed gradually northwest toward Midwest Buy and Sell aka the best amp shop in Chicago, with “Private School” cranked, watching the train pass the other way, feeling like the city went on forever.

5. Ed Blaszczyk, Rock Band Himself - “Hully Gully Neurasthenique” from “The Quirky Lost Tapes 1993-1995”

Born Bad Records is the hottest of spots. I don’t know anything about this guy but I am under his control.

- Five minutes of a pink oyster mushroom playing modular synthesizer

A sincere thank you to Kevin Vlack for introducing us to the mesmerizing thoughtwaves of a pink oyster mushroom, as expressed by a wickedly set-up synth. By any objective measure it sounds random and unmusical, but my subjective experience is that it is incredibly smooth and welcoming to hear. It feels almost like an aural massage or something. I feel an autonomic response to it. In any case, we both immediately listened to it a bunch, and it only gets more appealing. 

6. William Onyeabor - “Hypertension”

We still haven’t seen “Who Is William Onyeabor?,” so all I know about him is that his rhythmic approach is always totally absorbing. The cascading phrase that happens throughout the song feels like water being poured out of a jug. I especially dig how they split the vocalist between “hyper” and “tension,” kind of not unlike The Fall. 

7. Renato Carosone - “Tu Vuó Fa’ l’Americano”

You want to be American — in Italian. Fun is being poked. It gets so surprisingly intense in the instrumental middle passage!

“Whiskey soda rock & roll”

8. Star Feminine Band - “Rew Be Me”

Another return performance from last week! Star Feminine Band’s new album is so freakin awesome. “Rew Be Me”’s rhythms are so fascinating on every instrument. Also, they’re made by girls between ages 11 and 17. This song is so many songs in one!

9. Ros Serey Sothea - “Kom Kung Twer Evey (Don’t Be Mad)” - “Cambodian Rocks”

More jaw-dropping ’60s Cambodian rock full of epic melodies and major-league parts from every member of the band — above all Ros Sereysothea, who was pronounced the “Queen with the Golden Voice” by the King of Cambodia. 

Like every musician of her generation in her country, she was killed in the Khmer Rouge genocide. 

10. Lohento Eskill et T.P. Orchestre Poly-Rythmo - “Mireille”

11. Mohamed Mazouni - “Ecoutes moi camarade” 

A scenario that we’re just starting to consider is Algiers, which was a French territory in North Africa with as many Europeans as Africans. Before and after the revolution in 1962, Algerians are expanding the definition of French citizenship. An intoxicating version of the two cultures having equal input on the song’s palette and reference points. 

- The pink oyster mushroom 

12. The Fall - “Free Range”

This 7” came from a visit to a record shop in London that had an entire wall of Fall albums and singles and I just goggled at it. Kind of picked this one at random and it hits just so hard. For some reason this song sometimes reminds me of Self-Help Seminar, good friends from Seattle who we played with from early on. Harvey Danger did a version of their song “Heroine with an E.” 

13. Les Poppys - “Non non rien n’a changé”

A pretty large chorus of garçons just kind of beautifully swarming around, I don’t really know where to put this song in my head. I love the “Hey Joe” style bassline in the finale passage so much!

14. Mahmood - “Soldi”

This is driving around Cambridgeshire to London, again and again, listening to this music and shouting “Fregherai!” This trip’s soundtrack was exclusively the 2019 candidates for Eurovision’s top prize. This was Italy’s contender. It was considered controversial, I was told, because they’re drawing on a musician who is speaking in Italian and describing the world from a minority’s experience in Italy. That’s pretty bold to use as your country’s champion — I thought that was pretty cool.

15. John Williams - “Home Alone Main Title”

Merry Christmas! We time-traveled in this moment up to and through Christmas. It was a quietly wonderful Christmas, I must say, and included viewing “Home Alone” for the first time in decades. “Feeling that gingerbread feeling” indeed. We’re thankful for so much this year even in the middle of all this giant mess.

16. The Fall - “Jingle Bell Rock”

My preferred Santa voice.

17. Lithics - “Hands”

Sure do like this band more than ever. “Tower of Age” has been nothing but awesome so far. 

18. Samba Negra - “Long Life Africa” - “La Locura de Machuca”

Happy holidays to Ryan, who just got this album! Analog Africa is one of the flat-out most amazing record labels on Earth, and they put out this album this year. The cover art is insane, and the music is — also insane. This is the setup: “One night in 1975, a successful tax lawyer named Rafael Machuca had his mind blown in Barranquilla’s ‘Plaza de los Musicos’. Overnight he went from a high-ranking position in the Columbian revenue authority to visionary production guru of the newly formed record label that bore his name, Discos Machuca, and for the next six years he devoted his life to releasing some of the strangest, most experimental Afro Psychedelia Cumbia and Champeta ever produced.”

I mean, right?!

19. Meridian Brothers - “Salsa Caliente: Versión Aumentada”

This came to us via Francis Bebey, in the big ol’ stream. I definitely see the relationship. That’s what I’ve been really appreciating recently, how musicians from all over the globe seemed to be in musical communication with each other in the ’70s. There was such a wild explosion of music happening worldwide, influencing each other in a way that must have been at least partially psychic.

20. The Little Rabbits - “Yeah”

I got this CD in an armful of albums from Harvey Danger’s French distributor. I put this one on and was just… it was fascinating. This song is a definite high point, but the whole album is a complete jam. It’s clear to me (though I’ve never done a lick of study on this) that the Little Rabbits worked with Beck on “Odelay,” because you can hear whole passages of music that you associate with Beck songs stitched inside this album. I always want to know more about what happened there and I never 

21. Orlando Julius & the Afro Sounders - “Alo Mi Alo (Parts 1 & 2)”

Another example of that international ’70s kismet! This horn passage reminds us strongly of Adriano Celentano’s “Prisencolinensinainciusol,” written in faux-English for a French audience in 1972. This song was written somewhere between 1969-72, in Nigeria! 

I also love how the song has this sort of geologic dynamic going, where instead of bouncing between parts, it changes flavor gradually over the course of many minutes, until it ends far from where it began — not unlike a film.

- Bug Chaser - “Christmas Van”

We miss Bug Chaser, St. Louis lords and legends. We played some magic shows on the City Museum rooftop with them, and danced our faces off at their shows all over town. If you lived in St. Louis in the last ten years, I hope you went to Bug Chaser shows, because they were the realest of deals.

22. Half Japanese - “Swept Away”

I hadn’t revisited Half Japanese in a long time, for no good reason at all. It’s part of what I have loved about Yo La Tengo and Daniel Johnston and Jonathan Richman and what I love about Jad Fair, so giant and so sincere all at once. 

23. Thomas Roebers & Floris Leeuwenberg - excerpt, “FOLI (There is no movement without rhythm)”

Speaking of sincerity, this is an excerpt from a 10-minute movie called “FOLI.” I don’t know how it came to be made, but this section in the middle immediately grabbed me and feels super African and somehow refracted through a Western lens as well

24. Ayalew Mesfin - “Zebeder (Mesmerizing)”

The thing about Mesfin is that his band seems to set up the song in a Western tempo and pattern, and then Mesfin lays an Ethiopian melodic count across the top of the phrases they play, creating a third pattern from the intertwining. It creates a sense of the exotic and the familiar at the same time, which sparks into a dreamlike feeling, where you remember something you know you never experienced. I feel like that opens up some capacity to appreciate his melody’s deeply human quality. 

- “Tuneup #1” from “Rent” / Glenn Miller - “Moonlight Serenade” 

25. Ella Fitzgerald - “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?”

Consider this an invitation! Send us a message however we normally talk and we’ll send a link. Or not! In any case: here’s to making it through 2020 (chin chin), and here’s to a productive, restorative 2021 (chin chin)