#also. it's only agonizing because I would very much like to write but then can't make full real people sentences yayy we love it

[xiaomao-ai-wo]

And in typical Unallied Queens fashion, we are putting the boys in situations until the context is complete for a doodle that I made once. yay! And that doodle is in the next chapter!!!! soon tm

[primrosebow]

Do you draw or write for the girls? Because I would love seeing any type of Lute, Charlie or Vaggie art in your style

Also I would eat your art 20/10

Short answer: yahhh xoxo💞

Long answer:

_-->Various hazbin hotel women x reader // art

//

!Content warnings!:the usual nsfw, this has the gals listed in the ask🫡 a few headcannons added for flavor, gn reader cause I never specified literally anything, more words than usual.

We are SO BACK 💪💪💪 request things ‼️ My activities would get me perma banned from the vatican, I'm afraid.

Charlie //

I, unlike most other people here, believe that charlie most often tries to take the role of a dom! She's used to trying to fix everyone else's problems, but, she'll crumble if she ever gets treated like the perfect princess that she is. Call her beautiful, praise her, give her that affection she desperately needs. She's been helping her citizens for so long, she deserves to get taken care of!

Honestly, when you slowly push that vibrator inside her after what felt like an agonizing ammount of time for prepping, she was ready to cry on the spot. She can barely believe you even talked her into being in the receiving end of this -she's the one supposed to be pleasing you!- Getting this much attention and love made her brain go all fuzzy and tears well up in her eyes as her limbs felt weak; she was trembling far too much from the overwhelming pleasure she felt right then to truly care about what this whole situation did to her ego.

She doesn't realize her horns have made an appearence as she pleads with you: come on! You were giving her so much attention just a minute ago! Please! Being as close to you as possible is her only wish right now. Her pitiful tone and cries for you directly contradict how her tail is shaking at it's tip, much like that of an excited cat -she's enjoying this far more than she expected-.

If you do decide to give in and finally rub on her already overstimulated clit just as you had been doing before, she'll cling onto you for dear life- practically sobbing as you give her precisely what she needs. Maybe she can get used to being treated nicely by you. (She learns that she cannot get enough of the overwhelming passionate act of letting you be in control, it's far too good for her to only experience it once.

She'll soon get a little cocky though... she isn't the daughter of the king of pride just because of her name, if you catch what I'm throwing)

// //

Vaggie //

Vaggie has placed quite a notorious quantity of expectations on herself. She's always been this way, and, continues to be despite your affirmations of her worth. Your constant and relentless words of praise to her: how beautiful she is, how strong, how perfect, how brave, how hot- it all got to her head very quickly. Your words contradicted her thoughts on herself but the way you kiss along her neck makes any thought melt away from her brain and be replaced with pure emotion.

// //

"Mh.. please, darling- I-" she tried to form a sentence, eventually getting cut off by her own moans. Her nightgown was pushed up as she laid with her back against your bed, squirming slightly as she feels your fingers rub against her insides. She clenches around you as you drag your thumb over her swolen clit, which was begging for your attention since the very start of this. Her hips stutter as she can't pick between indulging the stimulation and running away from the pleasure.

Her eyes struggle to keep themselves open, but you had told her to look at you during this. She couldn't let you down. Not when you were saying she was "doing so good f'me". Those are some of the few words that can pierce through the thick veil of the ecstasy-like feeling of your attention and carve themselves into her very soul. She was good. Good for you. She couldn't ask for anything better, and, won't- can't be letting you down.

You.. leave her easy tasks such as looking at you and being a little quieter just so she feels like she's still, in some way, being useful to you. Slow and steady wins the race, and, soon enough you hope to remove the constant anxiety of servicing you from the act of love you want to give her.

Lute //

Lute is quite interesting because she has this weird duality between wanting approval and not being able to take said approval. Sometimes, she'll activelly attempt to rile you up enough that you'll punish her (something you have already told her is not necessary, since you can be harsher on her if she simply asks) but please don't blame her! She's just used to being treated roughly, it's "safer" for her to stay in her comfort zone of thorns and cruel words at first.

But only at first. Like I said, she really does want to feel loved. One of the first times you attempted to give her the affection she craves, after having learned that she can't deal with the purely lovey, sappy affection yet, you had to get resourceful with bringing her the love she needs.

"Awh sweetheart, you can't handle this?" You dig your fingers even deeper into her, a squelching noise arises from the action because of just how wet she already is. She groans at your words, and, if you didn't know any better, she'd have sounded like any other cheap sinner from lust with how aroused she was at your teasing. But you do know better. Your comment- it was slightly mocking, it was maddening; it was a challenge. For her to keep her composure for as long as she can. Lute grabs onto you even harder so she can regain some sense of stability, finally locking eyes with you. She moves her hips slightly against your fingers. Despite it being her own action, she groans. She says in a shaky tone

"Do your worst."

Ah, you can't deny such a request, now, can you?

// //

BONUSSSSSSSSS‼️

Velvette //

"Agh- fuck you! H-ah-" she tried to act mad, don't get her wrong. She really did. But that's astoundingly hard to do when your lover has their hand in your panties and is currently relentlessly and harshly rubbing against your clit like it was the last thing they'll ever touch.

You really could not have picked a worse time to do this; right before one of her new collection showcases? Did you want her to die? You forcefully push her thighs apart when she pressed them toguether, not letting her even attempt to get back a semblance of composure. As if that wasn't enough, you had locked her bracelets toguether behind her back, and, even if she wouldn't admit it to a single soul, it really turned her on.

She tried to think as hard as she could, try to offend you, try to play her own pleasure down, but she really couldn't. Empty remarks about your incompetence or appearence or literally anything she could get her mind around slowly melted away into moans and whines, the much too familiar shame from getting overwhelmed so easily by you also pushed aside by a desperate search for her own release.

When she finally did cum, she doesn't hold back on how loud her moan of your name was, her thighs trembled as she leaned on your body for support. She intentionally turns her head away from the mirror so she won't be faced by her own overstimulated self, and much less your self-satisfied grin as you watch her panting against you.

Oh gods... what was she doing again? Hmm.. OH YOU BASTARD YOU RUINED HER PANTIES! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EXPENSIVE THAT FABRIC WAS? FUCK YOU.

Let's just hope that the fashion gossip blogs don't catch onto how uncharacteristically out of breath she was during that showcase!

I love piracy so much RAHHHHHH‼️‼️ if buying ain't ownin, piracy ain't stealin, but I wish it were. IMAGINE‼️ you download idk ratatouille and they just don't have it anymore. "Guys they took ratatouille again..." I wish. I wish watching media through torrent sites was like taking various items from ikea.

I WOULD download a car.

@bigfatbimbo cause of the little bonus of velvette

[kooksbunnnn]

Lost cause? 4: Can my happiness ever last?

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook× Female!Reader

Genre: Established relationship/ marriage, angst, heartbreak, makeout and kissing mentions, INFIDELITY. Panic attacks (TRIGGER WARNING). Pregnancy (do not read if this content triggers you) also, 18+, This is purely a work of FICTION please take it as FICTION only. Therapy and psychological conversations. Tears, guilt, regret and hope maybe?

Word counts: 10.1k approx

Summary: You always wondered, how would your life turn out to be if you and Jungkook had a baby? So, when you finally conceive and decide to tell your husband that you are pregnant, you didn't expect him to drop this bomb on you. You never would've thought that the surprise you planned would end up in agonized tears because of the shock your husband brings you. 

Authors note: Hello, my lovely readers, or should I call you all my bunnnnys? It sounds cute to me hehe, its a cute little name for my kooksbunnnn family, the readers who wait for me, love me, and read the stories I write. Thank you for waiting so patiently, ily guys. Here's chapter 4, I got a little carried away with words, hence the 10k 👉👈 sorry for the long wait once again, enjoy the chapter now. Bye-bye!

Previous chapter

___________________________________________

Seriously breathe louder Ross

You giggle watching an Instagram reel of a scene from friends where a pregnant Rachel snaps at Ross, who was just standing as you put another grape into your mouth from the container Jungkook packed for you with washed grapes.

As you scroll through the comments on the mentioned reel, you can't help but read some of the comments,

Comment: Rachel has such pretty hair.

True. You always wanted to try her hairstyles.

Comment: people should appreciate how the writers gave every female character a different kind of motherhood and different experiences, and it’s beautiful how they portrayed every feeling. Also, I can't imagine how one of them had a miscarriage in real.

Miscarriage. This word itself makes your body shiver with fear, and you immediately feel your throat get heavy. You shake your head at this and scroll further, not wanting to cry for the 6th time on the same day.

Comment: Being pregnant is a magical experience, sure, but it's a whole ass rollercoaster of emotions, and you won't be ready for the amount of mood swings that come with it.

Yea, No shit.

Comment: I love how Rachel had a character development nobody ever expected.

Mhm. True.

Comment: Can’t believe how they ended up together even after Ross cheated on her.

That got personal, guess it was time to delete Instagram.

Month 6 and a half, day 188 since that night and you’re surprisingly alive. The night your heart got broken and you didn't think you would make it through 2 months of life.

More like, you didn't think you could make it alone, without Jungkook. Technically? Yes, you couldn't live without seeing him or hearing him for the start of your pregnancy and now he is always around you.

Always around. Helping you sit, eat, drink, lie, puke, pee, and all this while being at his respectable distance from you.

“Cut yourself some slack, you're growing someone inside you. It's okay to be dependent while you're going through so much..” that's what your mom said when you asked her about your future and if it was a mistake going through with this.

Looking back to her advice from weeks ago you feel like you are being a little hard on yourself. Therapy. Sonograms. Lamaze classes, doctor appointments, morning-afternoon-evening sickness, hormones, mood swings, and whatnot. You feel excited for your baby to come into the world but would it be wrong if you said you were scared?

When you asked these questions to the people around you these were the answers:

Mom: “Yes honey, of course, it’s okay to be scared. Your life will change, and sometimes you feel like you won't know what you’re doing, but trust me having kids is a tiring but very beautiful experience.”

Dad: “Sweetie, it's completely normal. Your mom used to freak out a lot as well when she had you. We’re here for you, it's all gonna be okay.

Namjoon’s wife, Binna: “I have seen my sister go through it and I am gonna be honest, it is difficult and the delivery is gonna be tough but the results make it all worth it. I am so excited to start my family one day, too!”

Jin’s wife: “It's a little nerve-wracking, to be honest, but it's the best thing Y/N, trust me I have never cried harder than when I saw that my test results were not accurate, I was heartbroken. Trust me, this is the best thing that would happen to you.”

Namjoon, Jin, and Jimin in different words but similar contexts: “I don't know much about how you're feeling right now so I can't say I understand but trust me, I’ll be by your side and our dumb little brother’s side always. We’re a family, Y/N.”

Hobi and Taehyung came together while you and Jungkook were having dinner: We have seen our sisters and relatives go through pregnancy, and it honestly looks so overwhelming. We respect women more every day. We’re here always, just one call away.” They had said with smiles on their faces.

Yoongi: “I am not good with words or comforting people, Y/N, but I just wanna assure you that I am always here. All of us will be there for you both. It's not gonna be easy for you, mentally or body-wise, but never feel alone. You’re our family and always will be, no matter what.” He said, patting you like you were a kid while Jungkook sniffled sitting by your side in your sitting area.

The most common advice everyone gave was: Be easy with yourself, mentally, emotionally, and physically. You’re going through a lot.

And it was true. You and Jungkook have been working on your relationship’s progress ever since your first session, and somehow it was going pretty well. You had dinner together and he made sure he attended the sonography sessions and therapy sessions with you.

You had regular sessions together and Ms. Shin recommended you both try talking about the future ahead. No definite planning, just talking about the options.

Wall paints, cradles, toys, shopping, diaper brands, baby food, everything you could see in the future around your baby. Since the biggest reason for fixing your relationship was because of your baby, you needed to familiarize yourself sitting around talking about the little person gluing you both together.

So you both decided to have dinner together daily and decided to make a pre-baby diary while eating. Yes, it was Jungkook’s idea. It's been 8 days since the last therapy session and you have already listed the paint options for the baby’s room, went maternity clothes shopping with your husband and browsed some cradle options.

All was well, right?

On the outside, yes. In your ovaries? No.

The lingering attraction you so badly tried to avoid for the past week is still lingering in the air around you. You roll your eyes as you feel embarrassment creep up your neck at how dumb you have been behaving around your husband.

You feel emotional, horny and everything at once. Absolutely mental.

♡♡♡

“I don't think I am normal anymore.”

The therapist watches you utter the sentence with a manic like chuckle. She must be thinking you're insane. You notice how her hand freezes for a mini second and then continues to pass you the glass filled with water.

“My question, however, Mrs Jeon, was how did your weekend shopping go, but you can still go on. Why would you think such a thought?” Your therapist calmly asks you after waiting for your response to her earlier question for a good minute.

You finally take the glass of water in her hand stretched towards you after muttering a low ‘thankyou’.

After what happened with you and Jungkook and his damn damp hair, you were freaking out. One moment you were feeling like you could cry out of embarrassment but the next moment you wanted to make out with him in the kitchen while he wore his white dress shirt and those grey joggers you always loved.

Okay. You know this is weird, hence the embarrassment. Duh?! Earlier you weren't able to control the urges you felt, the mood swings, the craving, and now?! This fucking arousal.

You made an appointment with your doctor as soon as you woke up the following morning, hoping she would prescribe some pills or any kind of medications to reduce the arousal you felt but it didn’t help you much because there was no way of completely avoiding that.

The doctor didn’t suggest you take the pills that might’ve helped you because you already had a lot of mood swings and anxiety episodes, those pills could’ve worsened them. She makes sense, a lot of sense but only when you thought about it with a cool head.

But at that moment, while she was telling you all that? It's just safe to say you can grit your anger in between your teeth.

Now you were sitting in front of your therapist hoping she would help you reverse the psychology or something which would help you not feel horny for your husband.

‘Your husband who betrayed you and was now trying to make up for what he did which you were okay with and hoping for everything to be better one fucking day ago but now you feel like you wanna kiss him so badly it makes you dizzy’

It was like a mantra, hecheatedhecheatedhecheated, so that you don't pull him in to kiss the shit out of his cute little face.

When you say the same things you thought, your therapist nodded her head noting something down in her notepad. Maybe she thought you were mental.

“Mrs Jeon, I would suggest you control your sexual urges towards your husband by trying to remove yourself from the room he’s in. Considering he doesn’t sleep with you, but if he does-“ but you cut her sentence in the middle by whispering quickly in his defense.

“No-no he doesn't, he sleeps outside in the lobby.” You shake your head not making eye contact, feeling somehow guilty of your husband's daily discomfort.

“And it's completely okay, Mrs. Jeon, to have your space and have some distance. It doesn't make you a bad person.”

Damn, she is good. You need to give her great ratings. You look up at her and watch as she nods her head with a small smile making you feel at ease.

“Did you talk about this issue with Mr. Jeon?” She asks you, and you shake your head slightly. Why do you feel guilty, and what do you feel guilty of most importantly? Nodding to your reaction, she says, “Would you like to discuss why?”

“Would that even change anything?” You say with a huff a second after she finishes her sentence, frustration evident on your face.

Shrugging she says, “It might make things clearer..” her eyes slowly crinkled due to her hair falling in her eyes. Flicking it away she looks at you slightly tilting her head. “Isn't this what you chose, Mrs Jeon? Being honest is what your relationship needs at this point, isn’t it?

Sighing you realize how you might be running away from things, after all, you chose this journey. You both did and somehow you feel you might be turning into an obstacle towards a better family life, yourself.

Turning your head towards the plant in the room’s corner, you speak with a distant voice, “I don't know, All that I have gathered from the problems I have had in my life is that I could win any kind of battle if it were against my mind but if it's my heart I am fighting against? It's a fucking lost cause.”

“What do you think is the reason you would be fighting your heart, Mrs jeon?”

You scoff whipping your head towards her, eyes glistening. Digging your nails before saying what you feel just on the tip of your tongue,

“I love him.”

There's a pause, followed by your therapist humming.

“I love him so much I wanna forgive him and try to make things better but..”

“But..?”

Another pause. A suffocating one.

“I can't seem to do that to myself or my kid. What kind of an example would I be if I give in to something that's not right?!” After you notice how your expressions change into a frustrated scowl in the tiny mirror behind your therapist's head you feel your tears start to fall off.

“I am sorry.” You say sniffling and somehow embarrassed of your feelings taking over you.

“It's okay, Mrs. Jeon, here..” she offered you the tissue kept on her desk, and you wiped your tears chuckling at your situation.

How did your life get to where it was? You have no absolute fucking clue.

♡♡♡

You wince minutely when you reminisce how your last session went with Ms. Shin.

One moment you were crying because you can't forget the night he told you that he cheated on you and one moment you cried because you wanna hug him and then cry into his chest about how your hormones wanted you to kiss him but you can't because then you would cry about how you shouldn't be feeling like this about someone who betrayed you, then again you cry because you can't forget how he betrayed you.

It's like a frustrating cycle. A cycle you wanna throw off of a freaking dam to let it drown and maybe rust when the water starts to break the metal. Maybe that would help break it because there was no way in hell you could succeed in breaking it.

Not to mention how you have to pee every minute of the day and then crave pickles with some honey on them while sitting on the toilet seat.

Sounds tasty, right? Yeah, you shake your head in a quick no too as soon as you step outside and think how pickles would rather taste better with peanut butter on it.

As you deal with your tears and the spasmodic hand stomping on the pillow or table around you to let go of the kissy-kissy thoughts in your head, your husband stays clueless.

Not clueless about the hormones, na-ah.

Just the fact that you stare at him before you slap your hand on the table, or thump down the cup on the table too harshly for anyone to not notice. He tried to ask you if you felt okay. But ended up getting yelled at for not leaving you alone.

You once yelled at him for leaving the windows open which you asked to be left open, saying he should’ve known better when to close them.

This looks cute in shows and movies of how cute the mother-to-be looks yelling at a clueless husband but you on the other hand feel bad for making him feel actually at fault when he has been trying his best to make you feel comfortable.

What does he do after getting yelled at? He apologizes, does what you asked or yelled at him to do, and leaves. He still comes back and eats the dinner your mother made with you and your dad helping her out.

You feel terrible for how you are behaving around him, the worst part being that he takes everything you do and say to him without even reacting ever so slightly. You tried living life with him normally but you can’t forget the thought that lingers in the back of your head; that the favorite part of living your life with him was the affection, the touches.

It's frustrating to say the least that you haven't even hugged him in the last few months, you know that there is a reason behind the distance but since your mind tells you to create boundaries and try things again, your heart doesn’t understand how someone could try to make things better from a distance. Especially you and Jungkook.

He did everything according to how you needed without you telling him. Your childhood therapist once told you no matter how perfect a person tried to be there are certain situations where you can’t control the things the universe decides for you. She said that when you were having trouble accepting that you were the reason one of your ex-best friends changed schools, stating that you made her feel insecure. You had no idea.

So you accepted your fate, then and now as well. Doing things as they go in the flow. You had a discussion with your parents about how you are supposed to be having dinner with Jungkook as advised by your therapist so your mom and dad eat their dinner by 7 o’clock as advised by their doctors while you accompany them by having your soup or tea.

They thought it was a good idea so you agreed to do it.

By 9 o’clock or quarter to 9 Jungkook enters and you have your dinner and the discussion you are supposed to have about the baby.

It has been 15 minutes since your mom and dad went to their room after insisting on sitting with you while you wait for Jungkook to be back. You have your phone in your hand which starts to buzz with Jungkook’s name on the screen with the bunny emoji.

Picking up with a smile you answer to his voice.

God, you missed him.

Yep, you said it.

Picking up he seems like he is on the way and is trying to get his phone back from someone. “Hyung give me my phone back, hold his hands Yoongi hyung, hey-!” yes he was snatching his phone back.

You can hear a bunch of yelling noises in the background and you recognize the screaming voice immediately, Jimin. You shake your head at the chaos and smile putting a grape in your mouth.

“Hey, Y/N I am sorry I am a little late, I just wanted to ask if it's okay with me to bring Jimin and Yoongi Hyung over to your parent's house we have a bit of a situation on our hands.”

“Yeah, of course, kook, it's okay. Is everything okay though?”

Silence.

“Hello?”

“What did you call me?”

Your eyes widen at how you didn't even realize how normal this felt to you. You haven't called him Kook ever since you cried in his car after your first therapy session, always walking on eggshells.

“Y/N?”

Courage. Squeezing your fist and eyes shut you say,

“I called you k-kook. Is that not okay?”

Your leg starts to shake not knowing what to say next.

“No! Fuck, I mean it's more than okay. You know what? Let's not talk about it I don't wanna jinx it.” You can hear him smile and you can't help but widen your smile. It has been so long since you smiled this wide and you somehow feel better.

You repeat the words in your head, Don't feel guilty Y/N, go with it. Go with the flow. Cut yourself some slack. You’re going through a lot, be easy on yourself.

You smile and hear him chuckle before-

“Oh, no hyung not in my car ugh, we’ll be there in 5 minutes Y/N, I’ll reheat the food when I get there don't worry. Yoongi Hyung push his head out the window please-” And he hangs up.

Smiling at the chaotic phone call, you get up to check on your mom and dad if they are still up, wanting to tell them about the guests coming over. But since they were soundly asleep with the nightlights on, you switch them off, regulate the fan's speed, and take the phone from your sleeping-snoring mom’s hand plugging it to the charger and checking if they had water around them.

After checking up on your parents you close the door to their room and walk towards the kitchen to drink some water. Even the small activities could make a pregnant lady tired and the jug in your room was empty so you walked slowly towards the fridge. The pain getting better but still evident in your lower back which makes you put a hand on your back while you open the refrigerator.

Suddenly you spot a Harley bike model Jungkook gifted your father when he came home to meet your parents for the first time. Your father was really happy seeing the model, him being a Harley fan. If age didn't play a role in life your father would've still been traveling with your mom like those couples you saw in uni.

You remember how you and Jungkook loved to travel on his bike, you holding onto him as if your life depended on it, hair flowing from under the helmet and him accelerating the bike through the streets, hills, and empty roads leading to the cabin the whole group planned to visit during his and Namjoon’s collective birthday celebration.

Damn, you were so in love. Still are, and will probably always be.

The group has always been there for you, they're like the family you never knew you needed until they came into your life. The chaos was a part of your life, the screams, the teasing, the weekend game nights, the celebrations, movie nights which turned into everybody and their girlfriends crashing in the lobby on the mattresses Jungkook bought for the night stays.

You remember what the situation was when you met him for the first time six years ago.

♡♡♡

“Damnit Tae, jump outta here.” You argue with Taehyung as the three of you look out the window of your room.

“Fuck no. Are you mental? I’ll die if I jump out of here.” Taehyung says whisper yelling at your roommate, Aera, who rolls her eyes at her dramatic “friend” panicking with wide eyes.

“No, you won't, don’t be dramatic.” You scoff as you push him slightly in the windows direction.

“It's a whole ass floor Y/N, the fuck is wrong with you?” He scowls at you as he regains balance panicking.

“Maybe we should call Jungkook.”

“Jungkook? Jeon Jungkook with that loud-ass bike? Nice. Sneaking a boy out of our room with the help of another boy. Fan-fucking-tastic, Taehyung.” You clap two times with a straight face.

“Guys,” your friend giggles as she tries to focus on the main topic in the room, while Taehyung goes back to sit on your roommate’s bed.

“I think he is right, Y/N, we could at least get help from JK.”

“Mhm, help in getting kicked out.” You mumble not so quietly earning yourself a middle finger from Taehyung and an eyeroll from Aera.

“Fine, do whatever you want.” You say rolling your eyes.

The thing was you were only partly nervous because of your forced eviction but also because you had never met Jungkook, the campus crush. More like the crush of every girl who saw him on his bike. You were not one of them, at least you wouldn't admit that but you wouldn't deny that he was a pretty face to look at and a very hot piece of ass to stare at. The proportions of that man were totally insane.

Tiny waist, big- biteable chest, broad shoulders, thick thighs, luscious hair locks, biceps people could hang on, the all-black outfit, and the very contrasting facial features. If he wore a helmet people wouldn't imagine how the guy had big doe boba eyes and a cute mole under his lips, skin better than half of the girls who spent so much on products. He always had that glint in his eyes making him seem so innocent, innocent but with a physique that can crush people.

You never talked to him so you don't know how he sounds or if he is a rude person. You just know he is Taehyung’s friend whom he hangs out with around the campus.

While you thought about how Jungkook might or might not be your crush, Taehyung called him and you all got up to sneak him out of the house.

“Wait you don't need to come if you don't want to Y/N,” Aera said after looking around the hallways and telling Taehyung to tiptoe downstairs since her aunt’s room was on the same floor as yours.

“H-Huh? N-no I wanna go as well. So that if she wakes up I can tell her we both went out to get some fresh air while the guys ran away y-you know? “

You said. Terrible at lying. You wanted to see the man coming to save his friend.

Your friend was in a hurry sneaking her fuck buddy out so she didn't pay attention to what you said and how you said it. A total stuttering mess.

Walking out of the house you never imagined him to be so..so..so tasty. Thats the only words that come to your mind. He parked his bike at a safe distance because of how much noise it made and approached you guys.

The image in your hand was like the 480p version of how beautiful and ethereal he was but in reality, he had tattoos. Tattoos! Not even a small one, a whole arm that stretched inside his white sleeveless tee.

You thanked the cloth gods for making this particular article of clothing because you needed to see how hot men you would want to eat up looked in it.

“Told you, you would need my help.” He smirks as Taehyung walks past him only turning around to come back and give Aera a quick kiss and then running away again, making her blush.

“Run dumbass, their landlord would skewer us on her cane,” Taehyung says and you chuckle at how exaggerated he made Aera’s aunt sound. At your chuckle, Jungkook looks at you and you pause mid-laugh when you notice him looking at you.

“Hi, I’m Jungkook.” He extends his hand towards you and you blush not knowing how to respond to his raspy voice.

“Yeah, I know you.” You say staring at him with heat on your cheeks and immediately kick yourself mentally.

You sound like a fucking creep. I know you? seriously?

He smiles, “..and you are..?

“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to be rude I’m Y/N, Hi heh.” You extend your hand to shake his and he whispers your name under his breath eyes still looking into yours.

“Hi Y/N, you’re very pretty.” While he rubs his thumb on your already heating skin making it burst into flames as he rubs it again.

“Kook!” Taehyung yells and you break the eye contact, taking your hand back.

“It's okay don't be sorry, I didn't find you rude rather, I found you cute.” He says as you look at him again. You think it was an imagination of your beauty-struck head or maybe it was due to dark but..did he just check you out?

You give him a confused look at what he said, making him chuckle. He sounds so deliciously hot and raspy. God.

“That you know who I am, considering how you’re always in the art studio. I found it cute.” He says with a smile leaning slightly towards your face and you lean back at the same time he leans in. He stays towering over you and maybe notices your expressions. You just hope he didn't notice how red your cheeks might be.

Does he know about the art studio? Only people close to you knew about it.

Seeing your wide eyes, he straightens up to his original height and chuckles. He sounds so good, it reaches inside you and you knew that you were fucked.

“Kook?” You didn't even notice when Taehyung came back to drag his friend back. Slapping his shoulder and then sprinting towards the bike again.

“Kook, let's go. She switched on some kind of light in her room oh god. She’ll beat your and my asses collectively.” Taehyung yells waving his friends over.

“Hey we’re gonna be in the beat party as well, Y/N lets go,” Aera speaks from the driveway of her aunt's house, slowly retrieving her steps.

But you were stuck. Stuck on how his bunny teeth played with the piercing on his lips. Not being able to bear eye contact with him, you flicked your eyes away.

When Taehyung yelled again from a distance, Jungkook responded with a ‘yea yea coming’ while stepping backward with his white sleeveless tee sticking to his body.

Generally, you didn't like summers but you were so glad it was hot enough that he decided to wear a sleeveless outfit, for you to ogle his tattoos.

Taehyung and Aera were already away from the both of you, Taehyung at a safer distance from the house and Aera still waiting for you at the house hoping her aunt just woke up for her nightly washroom trips and didn't see you guys with these beautiful men.

With a smile on his face, he stepped back facing you. Clicking his tongue twice to get your attention, you looked at him to immediately regret locking eyes with him. He winked at you and said, “See you around, sweetheart.”

You swear you saw his eyes flitting to your lips and then to your skirt that was flowing with the slight wind in the surroundings before he turned around and ran towards his panicking friend.

You knew he was casually flirting and was out of your league. And since you didn't believe your luck would suddenly turn out to be on your side you didn't think of his wink as something more than something casual.

But goddamnit, the crush you never admitted to, was finally admitted in your heart.

♡♡♡

You smile as you pick the model in your hand at the fond memories of how you tried so hard to remain just friends with the guy even though he hung out with you daily, accompanied you in your art studio confirming he knew about you before meeting you. You never knew your friendship could be more than what it was but maybe growing up and getting jobs made you want to prioritize yourself and your wants, so you decided to tell him how you felt but he beat you to it three days before you planned on confessing.

“Sorry sweetheart, wanted to kiss you as my girlfriend on Valentine's Day without the fear of rejection in the back of my brain.” That's what he said before he kissed the living daylights out of you on the gazebo at your favorite park.

You smile remembering how he took you to the park saying the cherry blossoms were blooming early that year, you believed him nodding with excitement and you went along with him running and holding hands. Reaching there you were sad that no blossoms were blooming but then he gave you the promise ring he ordered from the vintage store you loved so much. You knew it cost him a lot but when you asked him about it he just chuckled deeply avoiding that question and before you could pick that topic again he kneeled on one knee and asked you to be his girlfriend officially.

You smile at the memories and keep the bike model back on the shelf, the flashback coming to a halt as you come back to the living room when your phone buzzes with your husband's name on it.

He didn't ring the doorbell nowadays to be cautious in case your parents were asleep. So you went to the door and opened it already expecting Jimin leaning on Jungkook’s shoulders while Yoongi just snickered at his younger brother, seeming unconscious but Jimin was very much awake, also very very drunk as he clung to Yoongi telling him everything was going to be okay. Jungkook held three bags as he gave you a sheepish smile at his Hyungs’ behavior.

“Yes, Yes, Jimin. It's gonna be okay.” Yoongi held Jimin very firmly while giving you a small smile before asking where to put him so that he could blubber nonsense somewhere your neighbors wouldn't hear.

Jungkook chuckles and leads them to the guest room while muttering a ‘hi’, looking at you from head to toe as if checking if you had any injuries.

“Hi,” you whisper, enough for him to catch your voice.

“How was your day?” You ask trying to take the bags from his hand but he tilts his body giving you a look that says ‘Really?’.

Sighing with a smile, you close the door and follow him inside.

“It was good- Oh shit the guest room door is locked. Wait hyung let me get the key” he put the bags on the counter while a grunting Yoongi held a wobbly Jimin in his hands.

“Wow realized it so soon,” Yoongi says sarcastically l as Jimin looks at you with a smile on his face. Gasping dramatically, he removes himself from his brother's shoulders and comes towards you, slightly tilted, but he somehow reaches you.

“I can see your baby.” Your eyes widen at what he said and you scoff a laugh as Jimin kneels down in front of your belly.

“He means you’re showing, and he is noticing that now, only, he sounds creepy as fuck.” Yoongi walks back to the sofa and sits down with a long sigh.

“May I please?” He says as hovers his hands over your belly with big puppy eyes and you chuckle at how patiently he wants you to answer.

“Yes, Jimin you may.” You say with a laugh and he whispers to your tummy hovering his hand above it like it's a crystal ball.

“Hi tiny person, I am Jimin, your godfather..” he giggles at the end of his sentence while you hear Yoongi chuckle from the couch.

“The fuck? When did we decide that hyung?” Jungkook stands next to you with keys hanging from his fingers, narrowed gaze focused on his elder brother.

“Shhhhhh” Jimin shushes Jungkook loudly almost spitting on your belly. You laugh as he looks pointedly at Jungkook.

“You don’t get to decide that. Dumbass.” Jimin slurs out and tries to get up grabbing the trousers Jungkook wore, almost making him fall over with his weight.

“Hyung, fuck you’re heavy when drunk.”

“I fucking know right? I don’t know how that happens..” Yoongi mumbles typing something on his phone, stretching his neck sideways to pop the strained muscle.

Jungkook stumbles while you also try to help him balance Jimin by bending slightly to keep a hand on his shoulders, but then you remove it as Jungkook whispers ‘I got him I got him’ assuringly not wanting you to take any strain.

Smiling to yourself you walk over to the couch adjacent to where Yoongi was sitting, asking if he needed water or anything like that.

“Nah I’m good. Thanks.” He waves his hand as he keeps his phone aside watching how Jungkook manages to drag Jimin back.

“...You’ll look good in a tutu as well..” Jimin says to Jungkook poking a finger to his sides continuously. “You know a white one with stars on it, I’ll gift it to the baby so that you can match your outfits then” Jungkook rolls his eyes in annoyance as Jimin’s voice fades into the guest room Jungkook opens for him to sleep in.

“Let me go check up on him yeah?” Yoongi says softly getting up from the couch, picking up a banana on the way to the guest room. Raising one of his brows and the fruit in the air as if asking for permission to eat it. You tilt your head with narrowed eyes passing on the message, ‘You have to ask?’

He smiles slightly shrugging and heads towards the guest room while pealing the banana.

“Jungkook, is he under control now or still wobbly- oh, fuck no-“ Yoongi asks from outside of the room but then pauses in his tracks as you hear Jungkook whine slightly out of disgust and you immediately get up feeling a slight ache in your lower back due to the hurry.

“Is everything okay?” You ask concern evident in your eyes.

Yoongi chuckles and moves away from the door, shaking his head. “Not gonna eat this now, sorry, Y/N.” He says, still laughing.

“Oh no did he-“Before you could say something Jungkook stomps his way out of the guest room and you immediately feel nausea entering you seeing your husband's sleeve covered in vomit.

“Hyung could you please help me heat the food? I’m gonna go take a shower, sorry hyungie just please-“ he continues walking towards the common bathroom at the end of the hall.

“Sure” Yoongi chuckles moving towards the fridge.

“I’ll help you..” you take a step towards the crockery cupboard.

“No, I’m fine. I’ll do it, you sit.” He says pausing you midway.

“No Yoongi lemme help..” you say but he just points the small spoon towards the island chair.

“It's okay Y/N I’ll do it.” He says nodding while opening the Tupperware filled with the various side dishes and the tofu-miso stew.

“I just don't wanna trouble you Yoongi, thanks though.” You say giving up on offering help as he heats the food one by one in the microwave.

“Oh it's not for free, I am taking the godfather’s title in exchange for this.” He smirks glancing at the room Jimin slept in.

“Yeah okay, try beating Jimin for the title. You chuckle looking in the same direction for a second and then at the man heating up the food. While he just gives you a small laugh while warming up the rice in the cooker, mumbling, “We’ll see who wins.”

You smile and pat your feet on the ground in a rhythm as Yoongi places the food on the kitchen island. You feel guilty for making him do this but he has already rejected your help three times so there was no point in arguing over it.

“Y/N?” Yoongi whispers looking at a plate in his hand.

“Yea?”

“I know it's none of my business and I should not even say something about this but can I just say it's really nice that you’re trying again?” He says lifting his head to look at your reaction to what he said.

You feel yourself freeze, this is the first time you had a conversation about your situation with Jungkook, the cheating, and the decision to try again. You sure talked about the pregnancy and yes there was always that lingering awkwardness in the air but this was new.

“Yea..” you sigh looking at your lap for a second and then lifting your head to give him a soft smile.

“Not everyone is lucky enough to get a chance to revive their relationship.” He says still looking at the plate while tracing the pattern on it with his index finger.

You know that his relationship ended badly, you knew how much he loved his girlfriend, you know he acts like it's okay but his dark circles tell another story, you know he looks thin and exhausted all the time but acts like it's nothing.

You know it's not nothing.

“Yoongi, I am sorry about-“But before you could finish your sentence he laughs almost in pain.

“It's okay Y/N, it's done, she is gone. She is happy without me and I can't change that.” He says and you feel your heart break at how small he sounds.

“It sucks but it's true.” He says softly, half to you half to himself, still trying to process his grief over the relationship he lost. After an uncomfortable pause, he continues.

“I saw him Y/N,” he points his chin in the direction of the washroom Jungkook was taking a shower in when you look at him confused at the change of topic.

“..and don't think I am taking his side 'cause he is like a brother to me but I say this honestly, he was devastated while he was away from you.” You just stare at him with eyes round and wide not expecting this conversation to go this way.

“He forgot to eat and sleep, just kept asking Jin Hyung and me if we saw you or if any other of guys saw you.” He says while you look at him nervously talking about the topic, picking his nails.

“Do you remember the time you were at the hospital due to your abdominal pain?” You nod at his question feeling your throat tighten up uncomfortably so you divert your gaze down at the plate with little blue flowers printed on the ceramic.

“He ran to the hospital since his car was still parked at your previous address.” Your eyes widen and you whip your head toward the man standing in front of you.

What does he mean he ran?

“What?” You whisper.

“Taehyung had a night shift and he was alone at the apartment. I tried to tell him to wait for me to pick him up when he called to ask if Taehyung left office or not, but he just hung up saying it would take too long.”

“So he ran to you.” You feel your throat tighten as humanly possible, eyes burning.

Wasn’t Taehyung’s house almost double times the way compared to your route connecting your house to the hospital? You can't even comprehend how he felt when you didn't even talk to him that day.

Shouldn’t you feel like he deserved to feel like that? Shouldn't you say that he did that to himself? That was what you should've said right? But your heart thumps harder every second making your eyes spill the tears gathering in them.

You remember Jungkook was really out of breath and was also wearing different slippers that day.

“Since it was pretty late, he couldn't even book a cab quickly..” Yoongi looks at you and notices how your gaze is zeroed onto him and immediately understands your expressions.

“Hey, I am not trying to make you feel bad or something like that, what he did and what you guys decided is totally none of my business but I just wanted to tell you that giving a second chance is not easy and I really wish things work out for your relationship. I really appreciate you both working through so much stress you know? I can see what his vision meant when he wanted to quit last month.”

“What?” You whisper

“No no, he doesn't want to quit now, I mean after what you both decided Namjoon talked to Mr. Park and handled it..” when Yoongi doesn’t see you respond to whatever he said he realizes that you look lost.

“You don't know, do you?”

“Don't know what?” You whisper again, heart racing. Why do you feel you're not gonna like what he is gonna say?

There is a pause, a very uncomfortable pause. He visibly scans your face and inhales sharply as if deciding against or in favor of telling you about the whole situation.

You clench your pajama pants into your fists as your hand rests on your lap. The kitchen felt stuffy all of a sudden. This might seem like an overreaction but your body feels defensive all of a sudden, deciding between running away or ripping the bandaid off.

Deciding on the latter you ask,

“Yoongi, please tell me?” You request softly and at your almost inaudible request, Yoongi sighs, giving up. He shuts his eyes for a second and then looks up smiling sadly at you.

You hold your breath.

“Um, he was promoted to be the next VP of the agency, and uh..” he rubs the back of his neck looking away, avoiding the eye contact with you.

“And he rejected it?” You whisper and Yoongi nods, still not looking at you.

“The job required him to give more time into his job, more hours away from home. From you and her.” He looks at you and then points his chin in your tummy’s direction.

“So when they told him the details about the hours and the business trips, he immediately refused. Since he was the most eligible person for the job, the CEO, Mr Park..” he says,

“Mr. Park.” You say at the same time nodding.

“Yes, Mr. Park tried convincing him saying he’ll adjust according to your due date and whatever changes Kook would want to his schedule but this kid..” Yoongi chuckles shaking his head, “..rejected it, saying if he had to quit the job he would do it but he would not add onto whatever hours he was working.”

“Then suddenly..” Yoongi picks up a tangerine from the fruit bowl and starts peeling it.

“He came up with an idea of actually quitting in order to give more time to you and your child, so when Namjoon said and I quote, ‘Y/N is gonna kill you if you do that, she knows how much you worked for this’ Jungkook said that you both decided mutually that rejecting the promotion was okay and you were okay with whatever he decided about his job. Which…looking at you right now doesn't seem like it.” Yoongi looks at you with a hesitant expression, offering you the peeled fruit.

You feel your ears heat up and not out of good reason, you are actually mad at him. You were hearing all of this for the first time and you can't believe he backed off from the job he got offered after working so hard. The reason he used to work his ass off, extra time, no holidays, always punctual, not caring about his meals and whatnot, and then just fucking backed off?

"When was this?" You say gritting your teeth, eyes glistening with angry tears, eyes still on Yoongi.

You take the piece of fruit from his hand and shove it in your mouth, eyes red with tears in them.

“Y/N..”

“Why didn't he tell me? And wait a minute he said it was a mutual decision?! What the hell?”

“Y/N, he must have had a reason for saying so, he did explain the reasons and it sounded like he gave it a lot of thought. “

“Don’t you mean WE gave it a lot of thought? hah.” You say chuckling bitterly, swallowing the fruit, your hand going through your hair in frustration as you face the direction where your husband showers unaware of the angry volcano on the other side of the bathroom door.

“What the hell is wrong with him?!” You almost scream but lower your voice remembering your parents are asleep, immediately looking around warily and Yoongi does the same, with similar expressions on his face.

“Sorry, I just feel so mad right now.” You say squeezing your eyes shut, speaking through your teeth.

“I guess you should talk to him,” he says looking at you softly.

“You’re damn right I will-“ you say

“But not now, privately, okay?”

You look at him breathing heavily, cheeks wet with tears, his eyes pleading to not lose your calm immediately. You look at his anger and countless emotions swirling in your mind, nose flaring.

“Ah, okay fine.” You say throwing your hands in frustration, coming back to wipe the tears off your cheeks.

The next few minutes Yoongi tried not to talk about anything and you just swirled your spoon in the spoon Yoongi served for you. He constantly made sure you were sipping the soup, giving you water, and peeling another tangerine for you.

He almost sighed in relief when the bathroom door clicked open and Jungkook came out of the washroom. The steam rushed out of the white-tiled space along with a drippy Jungkook and a goddamned towel around his waist.

You feel madder now. Is that even a word? You don't care because that's how you feel. Madder.

Remember when you said how your emotions were on a roll these days? Yea. It was an understatement because the moment you saw your husband with that damned towel hanging low on his hips your anger turned into angry horniness, you wished, only for a second, but wished Yoongi wasn't here so that you could straddle the half-naked guy and ask him about the stupid decision he made.

Although Jungkook had immediately rushed into the room to get some clothes on him it was enough to make your ovaries light up on fire. You're mad and horny, two things that don't go well for you. Especially not in this state.

"Hey guys I am sorry, I had to wash off all that puke stench. Why didn't you guys start eating yet?"

"I don't know maybe you took very long to shower." You snap at your husband and he freezes in his tracks to get the plate.

"Y/N, I was there for only 10 mins."

“I don't know, felt like 10 years."aAt your tone Jungkook looks at you concerned and then at Yoongi who watches awkwardly, the whole scene unfolding in front of him.

"Guys you know what I think I am gonna head home, I have eaten with Jimin earlier and need sleep."

“No- yoongi eat please-“ you request feeling guilty for making him awkward.

“Yes hyung, please finish your dinner.” Jungkook says, looking at his hyung but then flicking his gaze back at you.

“No no its really okay.” Yoongi says, already walking away from the island.

"Okay, hyung." He says after a second his eyes wandering back to you observing your sour mood. Eyebrows furrowed with thought while you just chewed on the rice mixed with the curry not looking at Jungkook after waving to Yoongi.

Yoongi walks towards the doorway with slow steps, the footsteps echoing along with the tinkled spoon made inside the curry bowl. He grabs the keys and walks towards the two of you, giving you a nod and patting Jungkook’s back.

"Take care Y/N and you too, kook." He stares two seconds longer at the younger male and then nods at him. Jungkook gets up halfway to which Yoongi waves in a signal for Jungkook to not bother seeing him off.

The door clicks shut leaving you and Jungkook in silence.

"Y/N wha-"

"Eat, Jungkook."

At your stern tone, Jungkook flinches and just resumes eating in silence. Silence for almost 10 minutes. 10 slow and irritating minutes. It was like the clock ticked 10 seconds forward and then 40 seconds backward. The silence added to the awkwardness you both felt, making the time more unbearable.

Again, did you mention slow?

All the thoughts come back to your mind, every emotion holding your neck in a chokehold, everything that you’ve felt since the day started comes back. The conversation with your mom about how she asked you if you wanted to move back in with ever, you thought your mom wanted you to leave so you cried. All the emotions you felt then catching up to you.

The thoughts of being alone with him made you happy and cry at the same time in the afternoon while you finished working on the report your seniors asked you to finish before your leave started. You feel all the emotions you felt while rewatching the notebook in the evening before dinner. You feel all the emotions at once, those emotions which you felt when Jungkook called you from his car and, also when he called you from his office to check if you had your medicine.

The emotions of frustration and anger when Yoongi told you about the job offer and how your husband rejected it. The thoughts about something bad happening to your child come back and make your head dizzy. It's too much at the same time. You're happy that he is eating his food in silence because if he did say anything before you finish, you might actually run to the bathroom to vomit all of your emotions.

After minutes of frustration and anger and sadness and silence, you finally got up and almost threw the plate in the sink, Jungkook tried to get your plate but you just brushed past him huffing finally making Jungkook ask you the question you didn't want to hear and hear at the same time.

You wanted to talk to him about the whole thing and didn't at the same time. You were on an emotional rollercoaster, and Jungkook was gonna be the bird that hit the coaster blades, getting hurt.

"Y/N did I do something wrong?"

"Oh, do you do anything right these days Jungkook? I don't think so." You chuckle throwing the glass of water into the sink thankfully not breaking it.

Turning towards your husband, you immediately regret saying what you said because he just looks like a kicked puppy. Big eyes filled with gloss, nose red, and wobbly chin. His features make you feel like the worst human being on this planet.

"Y/N, I am sorry for whatever it is but can you tell me what's wrong?" He whispers looking- no, pleading with his eyes as you stand like a wall in front of him.

"You tell me, did you do anything to make me feel stupid and pathetic recently?" You say pointedly. Venom. Pure venom.

"Baby.."

"Don’t. Don't call me that." You say firmly.

"Shit- I am sorry Y/N please tell me what happened..wait-" You push yourself away from the counter instantly feeling the pain in your lower back.

“Bab- Y/N wait.” He rushes to your side holding one of your hands and one holding your waist, giving you support but somehow his touch stings, in the best way. You hate your mind and heart. You just hate it.

“No, I can walk myself I am not a toddler.” He doesn't let go of your hand even though you tell him to, he helps you walk towards your room. You try to tell him that you can walk alone but he doesn't listen instead he just hums or mutters 'I know' and it infuriates you more.

Why isn’t he saying anything? You’re literally acting like a spoiled kid right now.

Opening the door he walks you inside the room and helps you sit on the bed. As you take heavy breaths placing a hand on your chest you feel how rapidly your heart raced.

Removing the lid of the glass sitting on your nightstand, he helps you sip some of the liquid. You feel tears in your eyes and when he removes the glass from your lips he just smiles sadly at you and wipes the tears from your face with his thumb.

Leaning into his touch you say, "Why are you okay with me being like this to you?"

Okay, that's a dumb question ask Jeon Y/N, you're mad at him but just looking at him you feel like you are treating him like shit for something he doesn't deserve. Of course, he cheated on you, of course, you want to not love him because of that, and of course, your heart aches when you think of the betrayal but can you ever unlove him? Can you ever hurt him knowing you're gonna hurt him and not feel bad? Can you ever just look at him and feel nothing for him? Can you ever not love him?

Your head feels buzzed and when he speaks and your anger explodes.

"I deserve it, baby." You scrunch his t-shirt in your hand and pull him towards you, making him almost fall on you but he regains his balance by placing one of his hands on the comforter. With wide eyes, he just stares at you and the way your eyes brim with fresh tears. He tilts his head as if feeling guilty for the tears but you don't let him say anything.

"Why?" At this he looks at you confused.

The other tattooed hand finds its way on top of your wrist holding his t-shirt and you feel your sanity fly away for a second but at his confused expression, you feel your anger come back.

"Y/N what-" he sputters with big eyes

"Why did you reject the job offer?" you finally say.

Pin. Drop. Silence.

"What?" he breathes out.

"You think you can make that big of a decision by yourself? " you say sniffling.

"How did you-"

"How did I know? How about, why didn't I know?" You raise your voice slightly, and he shuts the door so that your parents don't get their sleep interrupted, tilting slightly towards the entrance, your bed not being that far from the door.

"Y/N I am sorr-" you cut him off mid sentence.

"Sorry? How many things are gonna be okay just because you apologize Jungkook?! It was your dream, you worked so hard for it.." you say feeling tears spill out of your eyes and when he just looks down at your lap with his lips twisted in a straight line guiltily, you can't help but yell at him a bit, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

You didn't realize when your hand shifted from the t-shirt's neckline to his neck. You realize that only when his eyes shut for a second at the feeling of your hands on his face, the other hand coming to sit on top of the comforter on the other side of your body. Holding onto his face you asked him the question with big teary eyes, wet cheeks, and a wobbly chin.

"Tell me, kook?"

Sighing he answers, "Baby, they wanted me to go away."

"Don't lie to me, Jungkook, please. Yoongi told me they were ready to fix the schedule according to you -"

"And you think they were gonna do that for me forever?" He asks.

"Why did you say that I agreed then? Why did you lie? Why didn't you come talk to me? Do you think I wouldn't have understood or that you think it's not important for me to know?"

"Would you have let me quit if I wanted to?" He asked instantly.

You pause. Dammit.

"You see? That's why I didn't tell you. You're already handling so many responsibilities, I didn't wanna worry you more." He says, eyes turning soft.

You look at him. Eyes looking at him trying to find dishonesty, the thing was, Jungkook doesn't lie. Even after he did what he did, he came out to you truthfully. It hurt but you're where you are because he was honest. It's the bare minimum, honesty, but its rare. At least in your experience. But not with Jungkook. He can't lie.

"They were willing to change my schedule for me only until she is born.." he says looking at your tummy and then lifting his eyes to look at you.

"..I can't risk being away from you again. It might sound like I am lying but Y/N, baby, I don't wanna be away from you even for a single second. I wanna prove myself to be worthy of a second chance. I wanna be worthy of you and her. I can’t imagine my life even for a second without you or her. You can push me all you want, you can yell at me all you want but don't tell me that I should've chosen a job and not my family. I know I don’t have an answer for why I did what.." he pauses gulps and continues.

"...I did, I myself don't know why I did it, and trust me if I could turn back the time I would. But baby..." he puts his hand on yours that is resting on his cheek waiting for a second, barely visible, but he waits for some kind of negative reaction to him touching you. When he senses none, he continues,

"...I love you, and I will love you for my whole life, I will love you and my family until I breathe. I am so sorry for fucking things up but I want to fix them, I can fix them, we will fix it. Just don't please.." he squeezes his eyes shut slightly squeezing your hand as well.

"... don't ask me to go away from you. I can't live away from you. I would quit my job if that's what it takes to be with my family, to take care of my family, to take care of you, and to take care of us. Please tell me I can be with you, can you please tell me you don’t want me to go away? Pleas- “

You tell him exactly that, but not verbally because wasn’t it ironic how he feels sorry for not knowing why he did what he did when you don't even think of any second thoughts before you do what you do, without knowing why.

Lips crashing on his, you shut him up with an answer you feel him absorbing inside him. He freezes when you kiss him, his breath stuttering when you move your lips against him. You squeeze his t-shirt in desperate need, and you feel him flutter his eyelids against your cheekbones, your tears mixing with his, and he kisses you back.

Does it last? Does your happiness last? No.

As soon as he moves his lips, you hear him sniffle and break the kiss. His eyes are still red, and his cheeks are slightly wet as well. He sniffles again, but the only sound you can hear is your heartbreaking because he moves away.

Away from the bed. Away from the comforter. Away from the kiss. Away from you.

He gets up and takes a step back, shaking his head, eyes squeezed shut. He curses under his breath as if regaining his composure while you just stare at the space where he was sitting earlier.

“I- I am sorry, Y/N. I shouldn't, I can't. I am really sorry, I shouldn't. I just shouldn't. I am sorry.”

And he leaves the room, shutting the door, not completely but leaving it slightly ajar. It's just like he does always. You hear the kitchen tap opening. He probably is doing the dishes. You hear everything from outside the door, but you feel like there's radio silence in your room.

A low beep-like sound ringing in your ears, embarrassment? Hurt? Love? Anger? Betrayal? Pain? Need? Desire? You feel so much at once, and you don't know what to do with it. This is getting so much more fucked and somehow you both find new ways to make this way tougher than anyone can imagine.

After some time, you hear the lights outside click off, and you can't help but wish he came to you. He does, but only to keep a fresh glass of water on the nightstand. He wishes you good night in a whisper, glancing once at your face and then,

...leaves.

Well, shit.

___________________________________________

Next chapter(4.1) Next chapter(5) series masterlist main masterlist

Taglist: @skzthinker @whoa-jo @aznstoner @aloverga @bids97 @slut4jeon @whipwhoops @bearr02 @gloriouscollectionpainter @jojowantstocry @jossabella88 @prajusstuff @chimchimmarie @gyukookswhore @kookiescutie @llallaaa @bbtsficrecs @farahmoonworld

[misc-obeyme]

for the event thingy.. barbie x (your mc or just generic mc depending on what youre comfortable with) !!! authors choice but i do have a very strong preference towards hurt/comfort

🐈‍⬛

Hello there, 🐈‍⬛ anon!

I apologize for the wait on this. I went back and forth for a bit. I couldn't decide if I wanted to actually use my MC or not... but then I had ideas for a general MC, so I ended up doing that lol. However, I admit that I've never written anything involving Ciaran headcanon style. Maybe I should? I've also never posted any writing featuring Ciaran on this blog. I dunno, if people want to see it, maybe I will. They do have their whole own story. ANYWAY, I quite liked writing this one but as usual I am Barb biased lol and I went with hurt/comfort!

Thanks for participating!

COZY COMFORTS EVENT

GN!MC x Barbatos

Warnings: none

There was a time long ago when Barbatos let himself be unrestrained. It was a path that led only to heartache, so he closed himself off. By the time you arrive in his life, he is used to being in the background. He's used to helping, to supporting, to observing, never stepping into the spotlight himself or only at the request of others. You fascinate him, just like you fascinate every demon you seem to come across, but he's content to watch you from afar. He will indulge himself with tea party invitations and learning your favorite foods, but always he keeps that distance between you.

Sometimes Barbatos wonders what would happen if he was more proactive in his feelings for you. At night, when the world is sleeping, he thinks about having you there in his arms. He thinks about how full his heart would feel with you there, snugly pressed against him, slow sleeping breaths and a soft heartbeat. It's painful when he snaps back to his reality - his empty room, alone without you. It's at these times that he considers things like a confession or simply a way to indicate to you that his feelings extend beyond friendship.

Barbatos always shuts that down come morning. When he's bustling about the castle, working to look after the Young Master, preparing for another day at RAD, fulfilling all of his butler duties, it's easier to push all those thoughts and feelings aside. He can focus on who he knows he is, who he chose to be, holding it all in so he can be the very best at his job. There's too much for him to do and he finds he doesn't have time to worry about such silly things as feelings. And anyway, he's always been happy with helping you from a distance. He still gets to see you, to watch you flourish, to spend some time with you. It's more than enough.

But it isn't. And he knows it. And he doesn't admit that to himself until he starts to notice some little things. They don't pass him by, not for a second, because he notices everything about you. That's why he sees it the instant there's something new in your eyes when you look at him. He hears the change in your voice when you speak his name - it's become softer, more profound. These are subtle things and he watches them for a time before you make some bolder choices.

One day you show up at the castle unexpectedly with some tea for him. The little Ds usher you into the kitchen where you blush and stammer your way through presenting him with your gift. He smiles at you and accepts it graciously. He's about to offer to make some for you, but you run away like a startled deer - to nervous to stay with him anymore. His reaction to this episode is complicated. He had noticed your change, but this…

Barbatos agonizes over what to do next. He never once suspected, in all those lonely nights of longing for you, that you might end up returning his feelings. But he can't deny it now. The sweet blush on your face, the way you couldn't meet his eyes, and when you practically sprinted out of the kitchen, it was all too much for him to ignore. He couldn't just pretend he didn't know anymore. And his own heart wouldn't stop thudding whenever he thought of your smile.

In the end, Barbatos chooses to confess to you. Your own nervousness indicates to him that you might not be very likely to confess to him. And now that he knows how you feel, he finds himself unexpectedly impatient. He's spent enough time pining after you, even if you weren't aware of it. He doesn't want you to have to pine for him, not when there is no reason for it. He wants to see you safe and happy in his arms.

It's a simple statement. He loves you with all that he is, MC. He loves you more than he ever thought possible. Please tell him that you feel the same. Please tell him that he interpreted your feelings correctly. Tell him that you'll let him hold you, that you'll let him listen to the beating of your heart. If you say yes, Barbatos will never hold back from you again.

cozy comforts | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[petrich0-r]

warning!!! long rant incoming

weeks later and i am still not over how much reading chapter 426 traumatized me. seeing touya reduced to a what??? burnt-up corpse strapped to a wall and on life support, barely breathing and with no hope of recovery, with only a bleak "slow march toward death" ahead of him was only the first blow.

then we see the todofam marching into the hospital determined to "talk with him" while he can barely string together a few sentences and is strapped to a heart monitor in a way that invasively reveals his true feelings of upset/excitement/anixety at whatever they feel like talking to him about, which was personally mortifying to witness.

one of the FIRST things he says is how he isn't "some damn tourist attraction" for them to come gawk at and talk at to make themselves feel better. and yes even though most of my ire is directed at enji i still dislike how the rest of the family acted in this chapter. all determined to say their piece now that he's forced to stay there and listen to them, and even shouto's part in all of it being framed as him "saving" touya and making time for them all to have together while he is DYING an AGONIZING and SLOW death. also natsuo not even saying anything to touya even though he was the only one to ever advocate for him and constantly remind everyone in the family of what happened to his brother and demanding justice from enji. although if i interpret this as him recognizing that talking with touya now would only violate his privacy since he can't hide his feelings because of the heart monitor his behaviour is the only one that makes sense.

enji once again taking the opportunity to talk about what HE is doing to atone for "his sins", in a way that fills me with such indescribable rage and fury at this man's audacity to even show his face to any member of his family and makes me once again want to kill him with my bare hands because i am SICK and TIRED of hearing about his "atonement" and "rejection". and even though natsuo renounces him definitively once and for all once they exit the hospital, he also says he thinks enji is a "badass" now???? EXCUSE. ME. also shouto calling him "father" still makes me want to puke i'm sorry.

to rub salt into the wound the chapter then switches to hawks talking with nagant who is now fully recovered?? from literally exploding??? in a parody of what i hoped a final dabihawks interaction was going to be. but i guess only heroes and "good" victims get to live and have miraculous recoveries in this story.

another thing that makes me livid is this trend horikoshi has set of showcasing touya in pivotal panels as not-being-burnt-to-a-crisp so he can?? what??? show us his imagined facial expressions better??? idk it just feels so disingenuous to him being crippled, burnt to death, stripped of all bodily autonomy, irreversibly and gruesomly injured only for horikoshi to take the easy way out when he wants to show emotions on his face so we can what?? see him as a person still and not a disfigured corpse???? i don't get it.

as someone who up until those chapters at the end where horikoshi decided that yes izuku should absolutely vanquish tomura was very hopeful about bnha's ending and where it was headed and what kind of story it wanted to tell i feel immeasurably and utterly betrayed and furious at what happened to the remaining lov characters. touya's end is a nightmare scenario on a personal level but what tomura's character went through at the end felt like a complete butchering of everything he as a character stood for. and don't get me started on himiko, a fucking TEENAGE GIRL who i was SURE would get to live if nobody else from the league did. but those are rants for another post.

my final thoughts for this rant are musings on whether horikoshi is aware how hurtful and trauma-inducing chapter 426 is. i struggle to grasp how he could write such a nuanced character without apparently knowing the first thing about how to resolve their story in a satisfying way. whether or not he waffled on how he should end bnha and then chickened out on its "true/controversial/revolutionary" ending i can only speculate but at this point i don't even care because the fact is he CHOSE to end the story this way and i have no idea what the point of it all even was anymore and i am tired and rant over because i've been rambling like a lunatic for way too long now

anyway sorry if this doesn't make a lick of sense idk what i'm saying or trying to articulate here, this is my first post of this length and i was gonna keep it all inside but i felt i had to let it out somehow. if u got this far thank you for reading this and have a good day <33

[johnslittlespoon]

Hello, gorgeous!

First of all, thank you for the joy of reading the first chapter of Tough And Sweet (Like You And Me).

I just have one question: Will future chapters show us Gale’s POV as well? Personally, I’d love to see young, shy Bucky through the eyes of an older Gale.

HIII sweetest human!! <3 no thank YOU for reading omg and for the kind words plsss :')) and for giving me an excuse to talk ab this LOL. tldr: future chapters no, future parts/drabbles yes!!

i was actually so indecisive about this when i started plotting the fic because while i enjoy reading fics with alternating povs just as much as fics without them, i've never written one with them and i wasn't sure if i'd enjoy/be good at switching mindsets like that!

i ultimately decided to stick to john's pov for that reason, but also because i thought as the reader, having to see things through his eyes and only being able to guess about gale the way john does would be more intriguing, especially with john's view of the world/interactions warped and/or rose–tinted by youth, inexperience, emotional dysregulation, etc.

BUT sooo much of what i have written in my drafting doc is from gale's pov because i love picturing this bucky through his eyes too, it's just such a fresh and new dynamic for me to explore as someone who primarily writes mota–verse buckbucky, and what we see from john's pov is so different from how gale sees things of course lol.

like it drives me insane thinking about how this poor man was literally just living his peaceful life, fine with being solo, going through the routine every day of work and then bike club and then home, and suddenly he's got this golden retriever of a boy attached to him like a magnet, and he's being kept on his toes dealing with the bundle of energy, and each day is now unpredictable and as exciting as it is stressful and he has no one to blame but himself lol. and the way we don't get to see the self–restraint he has to have and the struggle to be responsible and do what's 'right' while also dealing with his own feelings, because john isn't aware that's going on inside gale's head!

i could go on and on about his side of things aughghgh so i think eventually i'll end up doing a pretty lengthy oneshot sorta thing of certain events in the actual fic through gale's eyes (kinda what i plan on doing with yadiym for john's pov) bc goddd i have so many thoughts about how all of this would be playing out from his perspective!!! if not a oneshot, then drabbles like this one i hope.

if i had the time and if it wouldn't be boring to read i would honestly just rewrite the whole fic from gale's pov once it's done because with every scene i write, i'm like ooo i wanna dive into his pov and talk about what he's thinking and seeing so BAD but i can't bc we're in john's head </3 i just love analyzing john through his eyes and ik i've yapped ab this so much in past posts but gale does see so much of his younger self in him, that's why he has a lot of patience and takes a liking to him so fast, even if he doesn't realize that right away. :')

at the very least i definitely want to write pwp oneshots/drabbles set in the TAS universe from gale's pov so i can gush over describing how pretty and sweet and mouthy john is LOL i'm sure i'll add the fic itself to a series like with my dog–coded fic so that i can build on the au with oneshots once it's done >:-)

this is such a longwinded response (what else is new!) but you poked the bubble in my brain that's been agonizing over wanting to delve into gale's pov so <3 this is much more rambling than your question warranted but thx JSDKG

[chels-void]

Worries and a date

Sigma x Reader

" Ah—...how would i even.. "

You can't convince me that this ube keso man with one of the most hellishly layered hair in the universe—did not plan for weeks or tried to find a way to properly approach you without making you uncomfortable.

Every layer of hair he has is a layer of anxiety and worry, for himself and probably the casino, congratulations— you're a part of the layers of worry.

God has simply forsaken him just by birthing him with that haircut.

He may have panicked in the process because of his own thoughts; however, He's quick to compose himself and collect his thoughts.

He tried to not make it obvious while he was working, but the casino employees definitely noticed somehow, Some did joke lightly about it, Comically, he just sweat dropped in slight embarrassment.

He's never asking for help from nikolai again, he tried—but lets say he just found it "shocking." — I'll leave that to your interpretation.

He's trying not to suffocate himself in his own thoughts.

But he did get a few advices from a few people in the casino, some said flowers, some said food or just pure honesty with words.

So with that he spent WEEKS trying to see what you'd most likely love to be approached with, a very worrisome process he'd say, definitely.

He keeps glancing at your mannerism and actions throughout the week just to make it nice enough.

"I shouldn't ask them in a crowded place if they don't like that— would a more private and gentlemanly approach do well?..wait— no that sounds like I'll put them in too much pressure to accept...argh— !"

He certainly would ask himself many, many questions.

And you know what this man did?— simple is an understatement for this one.

He bought himself some flowers that his brain said reminded him of you or at least wanted to convey, Spent almost 3 hours writing something when the time comes he's approaching you, and a little cupcake of your favorite flavor, If you do not like cupcakes, assume it's your favorite dessert !

The bouquet looks to have Lavenders, roses, tulips and chrysanthemum, he most likely did some research on it for awhile.

I need me a man/woman like this, Good lord when.

I think he'd probably invite you to a cafe politely at a time where there's less people, for the benefit of you and himself, Works well in his head— Seeing that if you don't like being surrounded by busy noises of a cafe and etc.

And maybe also to save him from the embarrassment if he does happen to get rejected on a date and you walk away with a sorry and a bow.

Ah.. he's so dreamy 😔...

You'd most likely be the first to arrive in the cafe, but you obviously have your doubts if this is simply a hang out or a potential date, either way— you'd be satisfied.

Surprising that the cafe is so quiet?— calm.

Or maybe the fact theres only a few people in here.

And another surprising thing is that the waitresses/waiter's of the cafe escorted you to a seat that gives you the decent privacy you'd ever want in a cafe near a window with good lighting even !— just makes you question even more if it was just a hang out or a date.

You're internally giggling at this point, i mean— i would too, you already placed your bets it is.

Sigma made it quite obvious— a product of his panic and worry caused it, but you can feel his effort wholeheartedly.

He enters holding that bouquet, his little memorized speech of agonizing effort and admiration and a tiny dessert you'd definitely enjoy.

You'd giggle because he looks so silly and sigma just scratches his head in embarrassment as he takes a seat across you.

"You know... you're already taking me out on a date right now by just having me in front of you in a cafe— mhmhm ! "

"Ah..— do i say...uhmm..."

"I'm all ears, I'd love to hear it."

I guess he already took you out on a date before he even got to speak— but certainly he's glad it went well.

- @ ok chell | Twt

[zmayadw]

Okay, so I feel a bit calmer this morning, even though I still feel very much sad and disappointed with the whole Moonvale thing, but I'd like to share a few thoughts with you all, both bad and good, concerning the game.

And if you know me by now, you also know I can't write short posts expressing myself, so feel free to skip this long post! 😅

Alrighty, so let's begin:

From the moment Everbyte announced Moonvale I was very excited. As Duskwood was an amazing game, I only expected for the new game to be even more amazing. Logical, right? I never expected it to be a Duskwood sequel, and that was absoluetly ok for me, because no matter how much we all wanted and hoped for it, I was more than willing to give the team that made so wonderful and amazing game as Duskwood a chance to amaze me once more. And when they said that Duskwood will be a part of the new game as a side story, that excitement was only getting bigger.

And so here we are, two agonizing years of waiting later, only to be welcomed with this huge disappointment.

When I started with Moonvale, I really took it slowly, exploring everything carefully before even opening the chat and actually starting with the game and the story itself. And lo and behold, what do I see? No possibility for a premium package, but a lot of options for a ridiculously priced packages to buy jewels for, at that moment, who knew what, but I had a suspicion what it was for. Nonetheless, I dissmissed it for the time being, even though it was getting me a bit frustrated, and decided to move on and start with the story.

The story itself started quite good. I even started to laugh at one point realizing and thinking to myself Gosh, those Everbyte people really like the woods! The character/actor of Eric is nice, I like him, even though he seemes to be pretty clumsy! 😄

Now, the actor/character of Adam is probably the one of the rare things that amazed me from the start! His performance was so great, and I think I read it in someones post this morning how someone also thought he looks alike Rami Malek, and that was my first thought, too! Ok, so far not bad at all one would think, right? Wrong!

At first I didn't really pay attention to, or even realized it, but as other characters started to appear in the game, everything started to scream AI. The chats with those characters just didn't really feel right, you know? And I was really appalled by it. I mean, come on Everbyte, did we really come to this? Are you doubting in your capability of creating something great so much, when we know you damn well CAN do it? Or has the usage of AI became so much needed/mandatory ( I don't know what word to put here really or to explain it better), that you cannot do anything without it? Considering so many creators of all kinds are fighting so hard to stop it from being used in everything, I suppose no. But then again, I don't know if my knowledge about it is sufficient enough, but I can voice out my opinion, and I don't like it at all!

Ok, I have to admit, the chat with Ash about us and Duskwood wasn't bad,or the chat between Ash and Charlie about us, but that is all good(ish) I can say about that.

By this time I was really getting annoyed and frustrated, and as some of you might saw one of my post from yesterday, when it gotten really interesting in the story and my insufficient amount of jewels prevented me from seeing some photos/videos, I was so fucking angry and disappointed that I was very VERY close to just drop the whole thing and stop playing. But I continued, just for the sake to finish it.

And when I finally did finish it, not even the last video of Alan's body camera, or the message after that from Jake, lifted my spirit. All I could think of was how sad and disappointed I was. :(

I really expected an amazing and great game from Everbyte, considering Duskwood is one of THE BEST games I have played. But to get money grabbing, AI screaming thing, that was looking so promising...it just saddens me. I know they need to make money somehow, I'm well aware of it, but not like this. Not like this!

Will I continue playing it? Yes, I probably will, but mostly because I want to see how it will continue with the Duskwood sidestory. Also, I read people are considering using the mod pack if/when it becomes available so they can see the premium/special options, but I won't do that. I don't judge anyone here, do what you want, this is just my opinion, but no matter what, I still have respect towards the creators, and using those mod packs just doesn't feel right to me.

So again, yes, I will continue with Moonvale, but neither will I pay for special options (unless they by some miracle make it like with Duskwood, which I doubt but one can hope!), nor will I use the mod pack of any kind. And I really REALLY hope by all thats sacred, that as the Duskwood side story advances, those jewels won't be necessary to use there, because in that case, that's it from me, sayonara/ goodbye/farewell/adios to Moonvale completely. At least I will always have Duskwood.

Thanks to anyone who managed to read till the end! 💚 Take care all, and let's hope that all this won't get any more worse than it already is!

[gornackeaterofworlds]

ask game ask game! 8, 9, 28, 33 pretty please!

Hi lucky!!!! Ask game ask game!!!

8.) Which turtle is usually your favorite?

Hard to say, I haven't actually watched a ton of TMNT. But Leo or Donnie. Pissy asshole daddy's boy and tired slightly deranged mother hen are always safe bets, some interpretations of raph are too angry or not angry enough for my liking, and I might be in the well but there's some interpretations of Mikey that i dislike enough for me to not say him

9.) Who is your favorite version-specific turtle?

Augh this is really hard. Rise? Leo. There's so much angst and sadness crammed into this little man. Bay? Raph. Similar reasoning, but he's a huge man

28.) What is one thing you would like to see explored more in TMNT art/fics?

Oh man I hope no one feels called out bc you should make what you wanna make. I don't have any peeves with art really, but in writing I really crave a reader that isn't fucking stupid just for plot convenience. I can understand that in-universe it might be a logical decision, but if it just causes agonizing miscommunications or fights, which I really try to avoid, I'm not going to feel connected reading it. And I was talking with a friend today also, wanting more actual gender neutral reader stuff haha. Things like more androgynous and comfortable clothing(no heels, bras with hooks, jewelry, dresses, specifically mentioned clothing, lace, etc), ambiguity about genitals(I've seen very gn fics only use descriptions that can apply to afabs and amabs both), that kind of thing. I'm a fem fluid person, so I suffer less, but genderless and masc people kinda get shunted. Last peeve, I want realistic height comparisons. I know most people aren't as short as me, 4'11, but you're not "standing on your tiptoes" and kissing a 6'5 man on the cheek, or having a 6'8 man barely lean to rest his head on yours/your shoulder. It pulls me out immediately

33.) What is your favorite thing you've made for TMNT?

This is so hard!!! Torture!!!!!! I've made so much, but it's hard because I...really don't like a lot of what I've made. I never have, I don't think I ever will. Artwise? Uhhh. I honestly can't say. Every time I try to say a piece, I find something to pick apart. The first gift for khaya, I don't like something about it. The second gift, there's something else. Any set of au stuff I've done, there's mistakes I made. Story/writing wise? Butterfly Effect. Ofc Danii created it, and the comic is outdated, simple and I don't like it, but this is a full story here. It's an iteration, the length of TV shows. It consumes me.

[simplydnp]

tw illness discussion

it's been a bit since we've done a late night illness update from char. it's not because i've been feeling better--no, no, i've been doing generally worse, really. i actually did write one of these a few weeks ago, but didn't post it because it was just. far too much. i process things by writing them out--and specifically 'out' not down. it allows thoughts and feelings to escape in ways very few things can. either way, that update was for me.

i want to be as realistic and reflective as possible in these, not only for you, the reader-- should you ever find yourself in a similar situation, i'll have at least done my best to be honest and real: illness sucks, mystery ones especially--but it's also an exercise i live my life doing: i don't see the purpose in lying to myself. this blog is a record of many of my unbridled, raw, hasty thoughts. who would i be if i only included the good ones? the main reason i'm even back here is because this illness forced my hand into making a good decision. a selfish decision. one that i literally agonized over for weeks because i thought that in order to truly be sick i must also be suffering. how dare i experience any joy during this time. that thought has mostly been quieted. one of the main reasons is that i get to spend every day here laughing with you all, and yet, i'm still in agonizing pain most of the time. they're not mutually exclusive. but i'm grateful for anything that's not pain--especially when it's something as special as this.

it seems this is a bit of a sappier update than usual. don't worry, we'll get there.

my medication isn't doing anything for me. we're over a month into this new one and the pain is so bad it's like i'm not even taking anything for it. it demands my attention. it must be felt. and my doctor doesn't know what to do. she was shocked when i told her, because this is thee go-to nerve pain medication. and i feel like i'm dying. it has done nothing. it's just my existence now. she suggested narcotics and i just can't. i can't do it. especially since the pain isn't 'real' in the sense that i don'thave a physical injury. so i'm scared of heavy pain medication, to be frank. we're trying a mood stabilizer and i don't think it's doing anything either. we're gonna try a muscle relaxant in the next few days. my hopes aren't high--it takes too much energy to put them up, only to have to tear them down a few days later and pretend like they aren't just in a heaping pile on the floor.

i've been going to therapy, as well. it's... something. i left one day feeling absolutely terrible. we just dug into something extremely sensitive that we really didnt have enough time to cover, and it left me in a tailspin for the next several hours and few days afterwards. i felt very. disconnected. from my body. and my mind felt,,, thick? this must be why they say aftercare is important--genuinely. i was lucky that i didnt have to do anything during that time. truly, truly awful. it hasn't been like that since, but i'm trying to figure out ways to cope if it does happen again.

so that's where we're at. i wish i had better news.

[amaranthsynthesis]

Well, I am an endless font of questions so let's see, I probably should stick to one vague area per ask to not turn this into a giant list. Big thing I have been turning around in my hand is the person carved out of god-flesh deciding to transition. How did he go about this? (More in the sense of something instant a la somehow getting a true polymorph or something more akin to real world via alchemy?) Did he have goals? *Realistic expectations*? Perhaps doubts? Does he tell himself it's his godhood calling to him, to self-mold? I think you see where the zipcode of the question is. Bonus: If he went the slow route, does he just murder people who don't respect pronouns?

YEEEEEAAAAH BALLARD TRANS TALK TIME LET'S GO

First a disclaimer; I am referring to Ballard in the past with he/him pronouns for my own ease of reference, not necessarily because he had that self reference. If asked, I don't think he would be able to point to a preference as to how he was referred to. His is not a story of 'oh I always knew I was a boy' so much as 'I always knew I was different and wrong' but that's almost more to do with being the incarnated son of murder than with gender!!

rest of the screed under the cut bc, surprising to no one, it's a doozy:

So, to re-establish and perhaps push further into some general points about Ballard's identity timeline:

age 6, murders a dozen or so members of House Halvyriin during the first dark urge. Sceleritas Fel shows up, greets him as 'my lady' but immediately backtracks to my young master/my lord. how does he know? I haven't the foggiest, even Ballard has not really grasped gender as a concept yet and so hasn't figured out he isn't what he's supposed to be--he doesn't even think of himself as a child, only ever either as a gift or a knife, because that's how he's heard himself referred to.

age 16 Ballard reaches his first menses, and basically riots. He has gotten some small version of the talk preparing him for it and loathes the concept entirely, is fearful of what it means for him and his role, knows he is lacking all of the necessary information to truly understand. a few hours of being referred to as a 'woman of the house, now' and he's ready to do murder--Sceleritas comes back to reaffirm there is a purpose for him outside of this house, and also to remind him that there is another option and he does not HAVE to be Daughter Halvyriin. Ballard basically says 'well there's no time to unpack that now' but it soothes the restlessness back into dormancy for like. another decade.

Everything starts to spiral between age 26 (after the first failed challenge) and 36 (the second challenge and the burning of House Halvyriin). This is entirely due to the presence and influence of Imton, the priest of Loviatar brought in to tutor Ballard on bearing pain with stoicism and inflicting violence with killing--also a sex worker, who becomes his first lover. Their first assignation goes very poorly, in that Imton, never informed otherwise, is operating under the assumption that he's bedding a young woman, and Ballard realizes very rapidly that that is Wrong. He realizes he can't ignore the divergence between his internals and externals any longer, and doesn't know what to do to SOLVE that, but comes clean about it all to Imton. After like. A month of agonizing, you know.

Imton being one of two sane non-Bhaalists Ballard knows, he is able to retrieve some information about transitioning from the surface (not a thing that is pursued in Menzoberranzan, of course). It's over the course of years and the literature is mismatched and has some gaps--surgeries, magical augmentations, permanent transmogrifications, alchemical assistives, some write-ups on clothing and voice training, the whole shebang, everything Imton can find. Ballard is going through it slowly prior to his flight from the Underdark, but is only able to change his clothing and his hair while he is there--there is, honestly, a kind of despair to KNOWING about all of these options, because he does not think he can ever leave, and that they will be forbidden to him forever, even should he win the next challenge and his adult autonomy. He can't let himself think about it, it is too dangerous to hope. It is only in the burning down of his old life that he can begin to think about building a new one.

Now.

There is a gap of (checking my timeline) 2 years in between the burning of House Halvyriin and Ballard's arrival in Baldur's Gate. It does not take two years to escape the Underdark. Ballard is pursuing social transition in this time, more or less--he's experimenting with presenting himself as male, seeing how that changes how people react to him, how they look at him, seeing what is convincing and what's suspicious. Only a portion of the time is in the Underdark, because he finds himself scared and overwhelmed to be socially regarded as a male in drow society. He wants to be regarded that way, he knows it's right, but the objectification and the harassment, the sexual overtures? He was protected from those, as Daughter Halvyriin, both by rank and perceived gender. He doesn't do well with them. Moving above ground shifts the balance of power back, and if it shifts his negative experience from sexism to racism then it just kind of underlines his inclination to remain aloof and unattached. But regardless, he does what he can with clothing and the timbre of his voice, picks his name out and introduces himself with it, and by the time he makes his way to Baldur's Gate he's convinced he needs to take additional steps.

Not wants to, though he does--needs to, because it still isn't right. Being perceived as Ballard, a man, Drowish and intimidating and concerning--not pretty, not beautiful, not yet, though someday he will remember this too is part of it--is a huge step, but now he looks at his reflection in the water and dingy glass and it fits even less well than before. He scowls at human men and the shadows of their beard, such an easy visual cue, but that will never be for him anyway, and it soothes some that the mannish elves he has traveled alongside also dodge the accusatory arrows of beardless femininity. He intensifies his training and workouts, focuses on building muscle as much as increasing his flexibility, strength visible and not just applicable.

"I saw a sculptor at work," he tells Sceleritas, in some dingy inn on the road, paid for by silver out of a dead mans pocket. The man's tongue was sharp and cruel, and his eyes were blind--now tongue and eyes all three are nailed to a tree by the road. "She had a great stone and she took her blade to it and she found the man hidden inside the stone. She knew he was in there, I think. I think there is a great deal of stone I still need to cut away, but I know he is in there."

"Your father sculpted you from his own flesh, baleful lord," Sceleritas repeats, as he does often, as he does always. "He has never had such a hand in creation or birth as with you, and it is an imperfect skill. You are only walking in his footsteps, and it is my job to walk with you. We will earn what we must to perfect the form."

I have a WIP on this topic, so I am not going to go very in-depth on this part but: finding the Temple of Bhaal when he reaches the Gate is a step back, in some ways. Sarevok terrifies Ballard, the way he's tied into the reproductive horror of Bhaal's spawn. It's an echo of the sexually charged fear he felt as man on his own in the Underdark, but reversed and wrong and made heavy and oppressive by the fear of keeping it a secret, that he too could be made a vessel to that end. Ballard's cautious and methodical nature is rushed--he has to make decisions for expediency, and is unable to really doubt or hold room for concerns or nervousness.

He doesn't know what to expect. Some of the papers Imton gave him, years and years ago at this point, they have pictures--but they're all sketches, they could be lying. The testimonies and interviews? No way to trust them. Magical HRT and gender-affirming surgery as it exists in Faerun exists, as I imagine it, in pockets, developed by those who are seeking it, made particular to their wills and desires and not necessarily accessible or helpful to others. There's no one chemist or alchemist or potion-seller who knows everything about transition and can easily determine the combination of ingredients and power to call for the desired affect. Ballard finds one he respects and approves of and brings them all his scraps, details and ideas and half-recipes, they put it together from there and it is a trial and error process. He spends a couple of years at the beginning, hormones at war with themselves, struggling to control his emotions and his dark urge, locking himself into irons deep below-ground whenever the time comes for his next dose. He takes copious notes, and if they are blood-stained when he brings him back to the chemist, they ask no questions but the relevant.

The spells are more straightforward, easily replicate-able as they are, but Ballard is not a magical person, he has very limited access to that kind of power--a handful of shadowy cantrips and what power he can borrow from his own body's energy--and does not trust it. A transfiguration will always feel like something that was done to him, and that can be undone. He wants permanence, he wants something tangible, so if he has to take this potion every two weeks for the rest of his life--at least he can see the changes as they build up, at least he can see himself still under them. He looks for a surgeon for years, and despairs of finding one he deems competent. In the end it is a collaborative effort--Ballard, propped up on a stone operating table, a careful cocktail of paralytics that keep his body steady and his brain keen and unadulterated. He cuts where he can, himself, and directs Sceleritas where he cannot. They pare the stone away to find the shape of him hidden beneath it, and if it is agony then it is because it matters. Everything that matters feels like dying.

[gunshou]

(it's not 500 words but I'd very much love to have a dvd-esque commentary <3)

And afterward, Rumlow would disassemble his weapon, wipe him down carefully and perform any necessary maintenance before returning him to storage, unlike the last time when Skelton had the Soldier shoved back into cryo still full of come that froze and ruptured his rectum, a bloody frothy mess the technicians discovered upon thawing later. Brock Rumlow knew how to properly care for his weapons, how to clean and oil his guns and keep his knives sharp, and maintaining the Winter Soldier would be no different. 

Rumlow was only a junior member of the team, however. Assigned to babysit and explain to the Solider how to act like a fucking human being instead of a death machine. He’d have to pay his dues for a while before he got his chance.

The asset nodded at him now, seeming to understand the implied command to hold off on dropping into his role until he was placed downstairs at the party. Again, Rumlow frowned. 

“You know, I don’t think you’re stupid at all,” he said very softly, “even if your brain’s been fried to hell and back. I think you know exactly what you’re doing most of the time. Don’t you?”

The Winter Soldier narrowed those disconcertingly bright eyes, listening to the thin thread of danger mixed with admiration in Rumlow’s voice. Assessing it for threat.

“Yeah,” Rumlow continued in that same quiet, soothing tone. “Don’t worry.” He smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, because he really didn’t want his neck snapped today. “I’ll keep your secret.” Murderbot wouldn’t remember the threat Rumlow posed for longer than a couple of days anyway; once he got strapped in the chair everything would disappear for him in a blaze of electricity.

“Hey,” Skelton called, “you two done making out over there? Time to roll.” 

Rumlow raised an eyebrow and asked, “We good?” 

Yay, thank you for the ask!

To start, I swear I didn't abandon this fic. My depression has had the better of me for awhile and I've been in a creative slump. But I do have at least another few chapters planned for this fic.

I love a hyper competent Winter Soldier, but anything that isn't muscle memory is going to have to be retrained each time he gets wiped, as well as new technologies as the decades pass. He picks up on things fast -- the memories are in there, but he can't access them -- but he has to be explicitly coached to bring them out. And of course, pulling on some memory threads runs the risk of unraveling the whole thing, so it's a delicate job. The agent tasked with it has to be proven reliable, but low enough on the ladder to be expendable in case the Soldier snaps. Rumlow, recently recruited into STRIKE, fits the bill.

The idea of TWS as a weapon, particularly Rumlow's weapon like The Gun, comes to me from SubverbalDreams and itallstartedwithdefenestration. They have a way of writing Winterbones that's codependant and wonderfully warped, and I really wanted to explore that vibe more.

I think it's easy for HYDRA to characterize TWS as stupid and obstinate: he's not chatty, shows no clear personality, and fresh out of cryo or the Chair he's a dazed and barely responsive wreck. But in the field, he's fucking terrifying. He kills precisely and relentlessly, and he does. Not. Stop. until the mission ends. His squad is trained to support him, but also to keep their guns trained on him, like he's a barely tamed bear they've collared and make dance in a circus. So they dehumanize him further and mock him to alleviate their terror of him. That shows up in the repeated rapes and in this case, a deliberate breach of storage protocol that caused just enough damage to agonize the Soldier on thawing without hopelessly compromising his ability to complete his mission.

Rumlow sees that shit as petty, and it irritates him. TWS is this perfectly crafted deadly weapon, one of a kind (as far as they know), and these dipshits scratch the paint and bust up the engine just to prove they can in some sort of pissing contest. And for what? It's not like the Soldier will react or retaliate: he can't.

Except Rumlow's not stupid. Rumlow is fascinated by the Soldier and has studied everything he can get access to on the man. And Rumlow has noticed that handlers who repeatedly abuse the Soldier tend to have a higher than normal chance of ending up dead. It's nothing obvious, and no evidence can be traced back to the Soldier even circumstancially, but still. The statistics paint a frightening picture there.

Except Rumlow isn't frightened; he's gleeful he figured it out and impressed that the Soldier is even more capable and crafty than HYDRA suspects... and completely, thoroughly responsive to his handler's will. That's a lot of power for one person to hold. Here's this devastating force of death held on the thinnest of leashes, and god, does Rumlow want to be the one holding that leash.

What could he accomplish for HYDRA's world order if he had total control over the Fist? What would it feel like to know the most dangerous assassin on Earth would follow his orders and protect him with his life?

All Rumlow needs to do is earn the Soldier's trust and he'll have TWS eating out of his hand. And earning his trust begins with a calculated risk: saying he suspects and respects the Soldier's intelligence, and then keeping that between them. The Soldier won't explicitly remember the conversation, but some part of him will recognize Rumlow next time they meet.

And when Rumlow has the Soldier's complete trust, when the Weapon fits perfectly to Rumlow's hand, his place in HYDRA will be secured.

[carcrash429]

fic writers showcase game 🥰 thanks for the tag @im-95-not-dead!!

Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason.

First Fic: Still Breathing, not even 9 months old yet but it's the first of many platonic Clint & Bucky fics and the origin of my "the Avengers find out about Clint's shitty childhood" tag. written because I could not (and still cannot!!) get @superalk's Hawkeye Timeline out of my brain and how people would react to knowing all that

Last Fic: chapter 1 of Defrosted, which will eventually be part 2 of a 2-part series I'm casually dubbing the Barton Morse Halfway House for Unfrozen Supersoldiers a la my fave series from @kangofu-cb

Only Once: almost everything so far lol, but Smile will probably be the only Clint/Duke crossover I write because it's so niche and self-indulgent (they're the same person, if you like Clint you'll like Duke, please someone chat about this parallel with me)

Popular Ship: Major Confusion is technically tagged with Steve/Bucky although it's a blink and you miss it reference that is very easy to read as platonic. also my most popular fic, probably because of that very tag lmao

More People Should Read: The Ocean. It's less than 700 words, it's basically a poem, and I am SO happy with the writing style and metaphors

Agonized Over: Star-Crossed Brothers, which originally had a much more confrontational Natasha v. Barney convo viewed from Bucky's POV. translating a scene from Bucky POV to Thor POV?? 0/10 very difficult, do not recommend

Fully Formed: the first part of king and lionheart. I could just SEE that final scene with the reveal in my head and it deserves to be visualized artistically, I just can't art well enough to do it justice. but. magical tattoos. the weight of destiny. "it means the king is dead." gave myself chills with that one, gotdamn.

Proud Of: all of them 😌 but I think Star-Crossed Brothers (for the parallel) and Hard, Glossy Armor (for the perpendicular) are good examples of me successfully making a point with a story

no pressure tags for @trashkingtater @merelypassingtime @superalk @sugaraddictarchangels @schildmehdchen and anyone else who wants to play :)

[merakiui]

Hello!!! An ask game! If you’re comfortable with writing multiple answers… 1, 12, and 15? If not choose one! Thanks! :D

(ask game)

1. Favorite scene or line from (fic name)?

I have so many omg!!! To start, I love every line in Azul thought four, but my favorite would have to be the line in which Azul and Reader are discussing the nicknames he calls her and she asks if she can call him something and he says: "You may call me yours." Second place would have to go to the "lawnger ray" lines. It was such a silly joke, but it made me giggle while writing it.

The scene in Azul thought three in which he has a horrible meltdown when Reader calls him ugly and says she'll never love him. I loved writing it!

Any scene with Jade and Reader in DRU. They hate each other so much and it's so fun writing their snappy banter. I'm very excited for what's in store for their relationship. >:)

The murder scene in Bittersweet Secret. I think it's a very haunting scene made even more terrifying when you know what pushed Xiao to commit such a grisly crime. I also like the scene that follows when Xiao returns home and nearly strangles poor Reader in his murder-driven daze.

The scene in Cat's Cradle where Childe takes Reader out to lunch and reveals that he's known all about Reader's terrible crime from the beginning. The tension was so delicious.

This line from this Rollo fic: Surely you have a surname. Most often do. However, in the event that you are lacking one or are not too fond of the one you currently possess, you are welcome to take mine. It's unbelievably smooth for Mr. Rollo. orz how sly of you to weave a pseudo-marriage proposal into your words, Rollo.

12. The funniest comment someone has left on a fic of yours?

Aaaa there have been too many that have made me smile. I can't think of a specific one at the moment. >_< but I am grateful for every comment and ask I receive with kind and funny sentiments, even if it is only a keyboard smash. I hold it close to my heart.

15. Any changes that you've noticed in your writing since you started?

I think a recent change is that I have become more confident with writing smut and so for that reason I can write longer, more detailed sex scenes. Another change is my ability to describe settings! When I was very young, I always struggled with creating backdrops to place characters in. I would agonize over it all the time because I wanted to write pleasant sceneries that didn't feel bland or boring. Young Mera would be so happy to know that I have finally figured it out after many years of trial and error! :D

[shieldofiron]

BTS: for Vecna Vision 3D?

Oh Maan... So many scenes are my favorite but the Joyride chapter going into Steve's Vecnavision is so actually my fave.

This whole sequence was in Steve's perspective and he's not exactly the most observant of guys so there's several layers of dramatic irony in him agonizing over Billy and coming to a realization about his sexuality at the worst possible time, aka in the middle of the upside down trying to get out. Meanwhile Billy's clearly having his heart broken by how well Nancy and Steve work as a team, and do things without thinking for each other. Poor Billy thinks its a failure of communication that he has to voice his needs (it's actually good communication.)

This sequence's got everything I want: Steve realizing he's bisexual, sexy wound tending, Billy ripping out a demodog's heart or something, car chases, Robin with a makeshift flamethrower, tender homoeroticism, and Vecna being THE drama.

Eddie and Billy flirt so much in this scene my beta converted to a full on metalsandwich reader mid-fic. Not a joke, she ONLY ships them as a triad because Eddie's SUCH a flirt. He really is just like that.

I wrote it on a plane to Austin, TX and didn't have wifi access but I mostly accurately got the town layout.

The cyclone of demobats is my favorite part, it took me a while to figure out where I wanted the sequence to go, but I love the idea of swarms and swarms of them attacking, like in The Birds. Side note, is the Creel house meant to look like this or like Bates motel?

They do show that electricity kind of does exist in the upside down, and that objects there are from a particular time, so Billy figures out pretty quickly that hotwiring a car might be a possibility. One thing I wanted to play with is that from the moment Billy figures out that the lake gate is a no go, he is not stopping until he gets them home, he can't even stand still for one moment. While Nancy is gathering clues, he's scavenging as quickly as possible. That's part of what makes him a good team member- he takes risks and works fast, because he's used to obstacles making things harder.

And can we talk about Billy's healing factor? I'm dying to talk about his healing factor. This is the first time we actually get to see him really use it, he grabs things with his bare hands that would make the rest of them shrink back in fear, like crushing demobat skulls with his bare hands. I particularly love the part where Robin asks about upside down rabies, and Billy says he's pre-infected. I wanted him to have that sort of careless dark humor about his powers, like a certain someone who shares a lot with Billy.

And finally, Steve's VecnaVision. While I appreciate Nancy's in canon, it doesn't reveal a whole lot, actually it seems to step her back in character development all the way to season 1. I understand Barb dying is her thing but it seemed a little less evolved. So I had to imagine what Steve's biggest fear would be. First, Vecna plays heavily on his intelligence, which is an obvious pain point, but then goes further. Steve is a really protective person, which of course Vecna sees as a weakness. I really wanted to show that Vecna is most powerful here, and that he can cause physical sensation, completely warping a person's sense. Why show someone a vision limited by the powers of boring physics when you can do anything. Steve's Vision includes a lot of earthly references, he's thrown through the ground, digging into dirt. He's very solid and defined, ans his sense of self is the same way.

Later when Billy goes into his vision, everything is liquidy, scenes dripping and swirling and drifting, because I wanted to show that Vecna tailors his vision not only to the person but the way the person views the world. Billy's in a moment of transition, and he feels sort of insolid and unsure about so many things. He loves the ocean, but there's a fear there too, because the ocean can also be loss.

Maybe when I write the sequel we'll get to see what Vecna would do for everyone else.

Unusual asks

[theobjectofyourire]

I'm a huge Daemond shipper but I like my content to be toxic with non con elements I'll be honest.

In the show , Aemond is very awkward and even borderline scared when face to face with the whore at the brothel so the concept of Daemon using Aemond's uncomfortable, sexual insecurities to both humiliate and degrade him is top tier perfection!.

P.s ' I only like bottom Aemond '. Thanks for letting me share ☺️

oh, we're talking spicy things today!! 🔥obviously nsfw and discussions of darker elements, so pls read with caution!

I do love a good sweet fic, but I gotta say...there's something about the toxic vibes that just hits different. And especially with Daemon/Aemond because their fates are so tragic, their souls so entwined. There's such a fine line between love and loathing, between admiration and envy. I think they both find it easier to lean into their anger. And honestly? I think they both get off on it.

I can just imagine them being in the same castle at some point during the Dance, maybe Winterfell or Storm's End or somewhere in the Riverlands. And blows have been dealt by both sides, they're both deeply hurt and filled with rage. But they're here on this sort of neutral ground, as it were, having agreed not to harm one another and exchanging seething glances from across the room.

And then, late at night, one of them goes to the other's chambers.

I feel like it would be Aemond. At this point in time, Daemon isn't quite as reckless as he was in his younger years. Aemond, however, still has his moments of pure, unbridled chaos, especially when near the Rogue Prince. He goes to Daemon's chamber, dagger in hand and though he's uncertain of his own intentions, he can't seem to stop himself.

Imagine his shock when he finds his uncle isn't abed. Instead, he's waiting for Aemond.

Both have blades, and skillful as they are, both manage to strike their targets, resulting in tattered clothes and a few bloody slashes, though none are deep enough to be of any concern. Soon, the blades are forgotten and it becomes something far more primal, all fists and teeth. They're on the floor, Daemon on top of Aemond, his hands around his throat. And Aemond all but whimpers.

This is where he wants to be.

Despite the betrayal, the cruelty, the war...in this moment, all they want is each other.

There is nothing soft in their touches. Every kiss is claiming, and by the end of the night, they'll both be covered in bruises. Aemond, admittedly, sporting more than Daemon, and he'll cherish every ache. Every reminder of the agonizing pleasure given him by his uncle.

OKAY SORRY I GOT REALLY DISTRACTED.

I 1000% agree Aemond definitely loves to be degraded (he also loves to be praised, but humiliation just hits all the right spots). I think he has a lot of deeply rooted shame because of the way he was raised in the Faith. Not to mention Aegon took him to a brothel when he was so young. He has a lot of complex feelings around sex.

I love the idea that Daemon plays with that. Daemon loves making his nephew blush. He loves watching how shy he gets, batting his lashes as he sinks to his knees. Aemond shivers every time he's called "nephew" or, his personal favourite, "boy". Especially if he says it in High Valyrian.

The way Daemon would whisper in his ear, gripping his silver hair to the point of pain. "Do you like that, Taoba? Do you like when your prince uses you as he wishes?"

In terms of bottom Aemond, I felt similarly until I saw ep10. Everything changed after this scene:

He's so primal. His movements are almost feline and he's so supremely confident. As much as I love bottom Aemond, I can't stop thinking about dom Aemond...I'm really tempted to write some fun Aemond/reader things...

Anyway, sorry for the long post!! I got distracted by the spice and now I have like ten more fic ideas lol. Shout-out to anon for starting this wonderful convo and seriously y'all, keep 'em coming. I'm LIVING for all of this. Let's talk about Daemon. Let's talk about Aemond. Let's talk about Daemond.

And let me know if I should write some Aemond/reader stuff. Maybe I'll write some headcanons for Aemond/reader or Daemon/Aemond. Who knows! But the fics are coming and please keep sending your thoughts, I'm eating them up!