#also youse guys can just .... always message me and talk to me about whatever it doesnt have to be resdogs related

[himbofreddynewandyke]

also i’m writing some resdog fics/stories/whatever the hell is it i write on this blog, working on some that have been in my drafts 5ever right now, but feel free to send some prompts/asks

[biihoebi]

@newsiesgiftexchange

for @what-goesaround-comesaround for the Newsies Winter Gift Exchange 2020

aaaah ok so this unbetad because usually I bully you into betaing my stuff so it's quite stream of consciousness but whateverr. also maybe I took some creative liberties on the historical accuracy but who cares

(its kind of a shit show but shhhh Irish Spot)

——————————————————————–

read on ao3 here

——————————————————————–

While it was Jack's father who taught him not to starve it was his mother who taught him the value of his heritage. Which is why when the new kid at the lodging house was sitting at the end of his bed, distressed over a throwaway comment Albert had made, Jack was doing his best to comfort them.

"He said I was losing my accent" Rua had all but wailed. "How can I be Irish without me accent. And Granda said he used to have flaming hair like mine before it went dark with age. Then I won't even look Irish." they continued.

"But yer Irish by blood not by hair or by voice. I mean my hair ain't red but you'd be hard pressed tryna tell me I isn't Irish." Jack sighed. "Look, I've never stepped foot in Ireland, youse is ahead of me there, but my Mam kept it alive in the stories she told. Some were legends and some were just memories of her and her siblings getting into all sorts of trouble in the fields. And I can speak Irish just as good as the next guy, no matter what Spot Conlon says" he finished. Rua let out a short sniffle.

"But my Mam works in a factory. I never see her no more" they said wiping their face with their sleeve.

"We ain't the same, I'm Irish sure but I was born here. Youse is better off asking Spot about this, he was born in Dublin, didn't come here til he was about 8. And seeing as Albert started this whole mess he can be the one to go to Brooklyn to deliver the message after he's done selling. Now it's time for newsies to go to bed, you ain't no use selling if your half asleep." Jack declared.

——————————————————————–

To a bright eyed and bushy tailed Rua morning couldn't come soon enough and neither could the circulation bell nor could the final sell of the day. By the time Albert left for Brooklyn every newsie in Manhattan knew about it and was sick of hearing about it.

"Just because Albert's gone today, don't mean Spots gonna visit today. Heck he mightn't even visit at all. Do youse really think this is a big enough deal for the King of Brooklyn to take time out of his busy sche-

"Stop shit stirring Boots" Jack interrupted sternly. "Just because Spot doesn't like Brits like you doesn't mean he won't help out a fellow Paddy" he joked. At that Boots straightened his back

"I'll have you know Mr Kelly that Spot Conlon said I's is the best 'Brit' he knows" he said, smugly straightening an imaginary tie.

"Best of a rotten bunch" a new voice chimed in. Every newsie in the room suddenly started scrambling to look half presentable. "I got your message Kelly, now where's the young wayne?" the person continued. In response Jack stepped aside revealing Rua, who had been hiding behind his legs.

"I-I'm Rua" they stuttered out. The man crouched down to their eye level.

"I'm Spot Conlon, but I thought youse was supposed to be Irish. Where's me 'dia duit'? It's like you ain't even tryin'. No wonder youse losing yer accent" Spot said. That did nothing to help the already nervous wreck that Rua was.

Spot shot up suddenly, shooing everyone but Jack, Rua, Crutchie and Race out. He sat down on the middle bed and kicked his feet up, gesturing for everyone to follow. Ever the rebel Race decided to lean against the bunk instead while the rest settled into the surrounding beds. "Look, Jack says youse is struggling with moving on with yer life while staying Irish. I went through the same thing when I first came 'nd look at me now, King of New York"

"King of Brooklyn" Race coughed out which Spot shot daggers at him for.

"I'se is the King of New York, don't let no street rat tell you otherwise" he spat "but I wasn't always, I was once a youngin like you, fresh off the boat with only my poor parents and a sack full of stuff between us…"

——————————————————————–

The dock bustled with workers and passengers alike. Some leaving but most stepping off boats and into their new lives. Among those coming off was a young Seán Conlon. With wild hair and big eyes filled with the wonder and excitement of seeing somewhere beyond the slums of Dublin. It was an outbreak of TB amongst the tenements that did it in for his parents.

Seán didn't have long to admire the new world he had just entered before his hand was grabbed and he was dragged off into a long line filled with fellow immigrants. Hours passed before the tired young boy would make it through the front door to his new home. It was a small one room apartment completely unlivable by today's standard but to someone from the worst slums in Europe it might as well have been Buckingham. "Go bhfoire Dia orainn, tá sé linne!! Níl aon theaghlach eile ina gconaionn liomsa?" Seán gawked in awe.

"Tá, ach bí curamach, níl cead agat bí ag caint as gaeilge nuair a tá tú taobh amuigh" his father responded.

"Cén fáth?"

"Mar ní maith a lán daoiní, duine eile ag caint as gaeilge agus sin é sin a bhfuil."

"Ceart go leor"

That night Seán lay awake in his bed wondering why anyone could dislike speaking Irish. Well besides the British but Uncle Seamus always said that their opinion didn't matter and that he and a few of his friends from the Irish Republican Brotherhood would soon rid Ireland of them. Whatever that meant. His father would always laugh alongside and say 'that would be the day' while his mother would give out to him for encouraging Seamus.

It wouldn't be for a few weeks that Seán would find out what his dad was talking about. He was out selling papers to help make ends meet, as small as the room was all three of them had to work hard in order to pay for it. He stood there waiting at the gate for the circulation bell to ring, when it happened. On his first day one of the older kids taught him a few tricks and gave him a few pieces of advice. One of those pieces was 'stay away from Acton Williams'. An unspoken rule he had managed to avoid up until that point.

Acton had walked right into him, dropping a strange wooden item in the process. Seán liked to think that his mother raised him right so he apologized and bent down to pick up the trinket

"Brón orm" he mumbled as he crouched, item in hand.

"The fuck you say to me?" Acton grunted. Seán froze realising his mistake and everyone went silent at the sound of Acton's voice.

"I was just saying sorry" Seán rushed out, trying desperately not to get baited so soon after joining the newsies. Acton let out a laugh.

"That's not what you said though is it?" he said " see I think youse was speaking some stupid language from the stupid country you came from. So I'mma ask again 'the fuck you say to me?"

"I said 'brón orm', you heard me the first time," Seán said, gaining confidence. It was one thing to be intimidated by an older kid who would definitely knock your block off but his Nan taught him better than to let someone talk shite about Ireland. Acton scoffed.

"I pity the Mum who raised such a rude brat " he spat taking a step towards Seán.

"Yeah well I pity the Mam who gave birth to such an ugly ogre"

And they were off! Acton could easily outrun Seán's tiny legs so his only hope was to lose him with twists and turns through the back alleys and busy streets. After what felt like hours of running, Seán finally ran into a deadend. Turning to face a panting Acton, Seán gulped and started reciting any and all prayers he could think of to any saints that popped into his head. In fact it wasn't until Seán went to clasp his hands in prayer that he noticed what he had picked up earlier.

A slingshot!!

Grabbing the nearest rock Seán loaded the sling. 'Dear St Anthony, pleeaassee help me find the ability to aim well' he prayed as he scrunched his eyes shut and released.

The next thing Seán heard was the large thump an unconscious Actons body made as it hit the ground. Opening his eyes to examine the noise he had heard Seán was shocked to see his feeble attempt at fighting back was actually a success. Seán quickly pocketed the slingshot and left before Acton had time to wake up.

——————————————————————–

"...and that's what it means to be Irish" Spot finished proudly

"Beating up British people is what it means to be Irish?" Rua said in awe of Spot's story. Spot grinned.

"See, this kid gets it" he joked, ruffling Ruas hair.

"That was a lovely story yer highness but how is that surppsoed to help 'em keep their accent" Race chipped in.

"Well what about you then Higgins if you have so much to say? D'you have any stories worth listening to?"

"What about being Italian? Well I-"

"Italian? Are ye not Irish?"

"No? What made you think that?"

"Yer surname is Higgins"

"Yeah, Higgins is a classic Italian name"

Jack and Spot made eye contact for a good minute before bursting out laughing. "Yer telling me this entire time youse never knew you was Irish?" Jack choked out between laughs. Even Rua stifled a giggle.

"My own mam was a Higgin, Racetrack" Spot roared. "Yee just can't make this stuff up" he said wiping a tear from his eye. Race's face was a brilliant red as he sputtered out excuses.

"Yer just joking, right guys? Right guys??"

——————————————————————–

BONUS :

At the gates the next morning Seán stood there absolutely shitting bricks. What had happened yesterday had been a stroke of luck but if Acton decided to continue the fight he was dead meat.

"Wait, is that Williams? No way what's with the giant bruise on his forehead?" a voice spoke interrupting Seán's train of thought.

"No way that's a bruise, he doesn't get those" another shot back. Soon a whole symphony of voices were arguing over whether it was a bruise or not.

"Wait a minute, weren't you getting chased by him yesterday, newbie? How come there's not a scratch on ya, and why's there only a big bruise on him?" the first voice said piecing the puzzle together. Soon everyone was crowding around Seán, looking for the story of what happened.

"Look nothing really happened" Seán reassured trying to downplay the situation "he chased me for a bit before I eventually shot him with this sling and he passed out on the spot."

Apparently telling them he knocked out the bully of the newsies was not the right thing to say to defuse the situation. Some started cheering for him others just rolled their eyes at his story.

"He clearly made that up on the spot" one voice chiming in.

"Nah, look at Acton, that's a massive bruise, obviously from being shot with a sling" another rebutted. Eventually the crowd settled a bit and someone had the common sense to ask for his name.

"Oh! I'm Seán." he responded. Everyone groaned.

"Not yer real one, yer newsies one" someone said. After Seán told them he didn't have one, everyone put their thinking caps on.

"Let's call him Spot, 'cause we'll never really know if he knocked him down on the spot or made up that story on the spot."

[enchantingexile]

Brothers Best Friend - c.b

Request: being brennen's sister and he's always teasing you, like saying that you have a crush on Colby while he's vlogging and while Colby's over and things like that, kinda like he did with Jessica in his video where he and Colby re-create their vines, and maybe one day Colby talks to you about that, or you can make the end as you think goes better with the story you come up with

Pairing: Colby Brock x Reader

Masterlist

— — — —

You had been sitting on the couch on your phone when you saw a tweet Colby had posted talking about how he was now a fifth wheel and because you had your notifications on for him you had immediately seen it. The laughter came out in a short burst and Brennen being the nosy bitch he is, was sitting near you leaned over quickly to see what you were laughing at.

“Ooh.. y/n and Colby sitting in a tree. K. I. S. S. Ing” He sang to you.

“Shut up moron, you’re more in love with him than I am” You retort quickly, hoping he would shut up about it.

“But even if im more in love with him that still means you’re in love with him, see that guys.” He speaks to the camera now “y/n just admitted she’s in love with Colby” You roll your eyes in annoyance, continuing to look at your phone before you speak again.

“You know damn well I didnt mean it like that” You say as you push him with your foot. “You’re a friggen idiot, now get your ugly bitchass out my face” He just laughs at you and points the camera your way to annoy you further. Once he is over annoying you he walks off to his room probably to go and tell Colby what he has just said and even though you could hear him gossiping about you to Colby you didn’t care very much because you knew how Colby felt towards you.

To him you were his best friends little sister, you knew him and his moral stand point. He would never try and go after his best friends sister.

“Y/N!” You heard Brennen call from another room in the house, “Y/N!” He continued, waiting for you to answer so he knew where you were in the house.

“What Brennen, geez” You reply, grunting as you get off the couch annoyed that he would even make you get up.

“Oh nothing, I just wanted you to know your boyfriend is coming over” You look at him like he has lost his mind.

“I don’t have a boyfriend and you know it, I’m literally always complaining about it” You tried to remind him just how single you were but all you got was an eyeroll in return.

“You know I’m talking about Colby”

“Oh, you meant your boyfriend” You laughed at him and walked away into your room hoping you wouldn’t actually have to see Colby when he arrived.

But not long after you heard the front door open and close with a loud bang and you knew it was Colby, he was never subtle or quiet when he came over. Wanting everyone to know that he is there.

“Honey I’m home” Colby yelled through the house.

“In the kitchen sweetie” You heard your older brother yell back in response, you laughed from your room. Colby had heard your giggle and made a b-line to your room.

“Hey y/n, didn’t realise you were going to be here.”

“Mhm, sure” You rolled your eyes at him and continue to look at the device in your hand “where else would I be Cole?” You replied as sarcastic as you could without coming off as a bitch.

You knew that he knew you were going to be home today because you had heard Brennen tell him over the phone, you were guessing that he looked this good because they were going to be filming a video but the thought of him dressing up for you had crossed your mind. You walk up to the door and lean on the door frame with a smile.

“Love the hair, Brock” you tell him as you run your hand through it and mess it up before pushing his head back to move him out of the way so you could close your door and continue with what you had been previously doing.

You heard him walk into the kitchen and greet your brother with a hard slap on the back.

“Your sisters lookin hot today” You heard Colby chuckle after his comment right before Brennen’s reply.

“Ew, dont be fuckin gross dude. Thats my sister you perv.” Brennen reacted the exact way you would have expected him to but you had never expected for Colby to say something like that to your brother, knowing you were just a wall away.

— — —

You had decided to take a nap while the boys filmed their video so that you didnt disturb them and also because you could feel your body becoming sluggish due to lack of sleep you had been getting.

You had just woken up and checked your social media before you heard a knock at your door. You got up to see who it was and it was the beautiful blue eyed, blue haired boy you had been crushing on.

“Hey”

“Hi?” You asked curiously, just now rubbing the sleep from your eyes and letting out a soft yawn. You could see Colby smiling at you even through sleep coated eyes.

“I was wondering if you you wanted to go out to dinner?” He asked as he scratched his neck, a nervous habit you had grown fond of.

“Uh yeah sure! Where’s Brennen at?” You smiled at him and looked around him to see where your brother was.

“Ooh, uhm he is editing. I was hoping maybe it could just be the two of us?”

“Uhm yeah... sure” You were a little bit suspicious about his sudden request to go to dinner alone with you. “Let me get dressed and we can go?”

“Yeah, okay” He walked off in the direction that was Brennen’s room, you hoped that he already knew about this because you didnt want to be coming home to Brennen being a jerk towards you so you texted to see if he was fine with you going to dinner with Colby and he just responded with a thumbs up emoji. I mean, thats as good as its going to get right?

With the okay being sent through, you get dressed to go to dinner with Colby only taking a few minutes not wanting to put too much pressure on this. Whatever this was. You walk to Brennen’s room and inform Colby that you are ready to eat and he gets up and youse both say goodbye to Brennen, as you walk away you can see a smirk forming on your brothers face.

“Alright, where to?” Colby asks you as he holds the door open for you to walk through.

“Tendergreens, right?”

“You know my favourite restaurant?” He asks you with a smile, a red tinge creeping onto his cheeks.

“I know a lot more about you than I probably should, thanks to Brennen”

“Maybe Brennen has been trying to set us up this whole time” Colby says and youse both laugh but then realise that exactly what he has been trying to do, remembering how he reacted when you and Colby were leaving.

“I think thats exactly what he is doing to be honest” You reply before getting into Colby’s car and youse begin your journey to dinner, this is all you had been thinking about since the day you had met Colby. You never thought that the lame senarios you came up with would come to fruition.

“What a weirdo, trying to set up his little sister with his best friend” He jokes, and even though he was joking you were hoping this was going to be an actual date and not just another senarios to daydream about later. You knew that if you didn’t say anything you would be stuck in this weird limbo of ‘what are we’ so you gained as much courage as you could before speaking. You could feel your stomach in your throat before you began speaking, this could either work in your favour or be the worst moment of your life.

“I just wanted to say that even though Brennen is always teasing me for it and I always deny it... I do have a crush on you” You said the last part in a whisper, your voice losing its courage and turning into something pathetic. You didn’t want to see his reaction at all so you sat there staring at the window and even though you could see him smirking at you in the reflection of the window you still didn’t know how to feel about this whole situation. Your heart was racing in your chest and your palms were sweating like crazy.

“You have to know by now that I have a crush on you too” He laughed, another nervous tell of his. You hadnt realised that Colby had the car parked in front of the restaurant already. You didn’t know how to reply but you did know how you felt and the feelings were growing stronger by then second.

“Alright then, lets get some food. Im starving” You laugh at him and get out of the car, following closely behind Colby into the restaurant and taking your seat next to him.

Youse spoke for hours and ate the food, he let you steal from his meal a little bit and you let him take from yours. Youse had never been alone like this before and you didn’t want it to end, it was like a new found freedom that you didnt want to let go. You hoped that Colby felt the same way you did.

— — —

When Colby drops you off you skip straight to Brennen’s room to tell him everything that happened. Joy radiating off of you.

“Thanks for setting us up Brennen, we actually had a really good time” You sat down at the end of his bed.

“Well, Colby said it was terrible. So I don’t know who to believe.” He said to you as you had just finished gloating and your heart could have fallen out of your chest in this moment.

“Oh” Heartbreak was written all over your face and he could tell, there was a tear pricking the inner corner of your eye but you didn’t let it out.

“I was kidding, damn dude. Calm down.” He said and kicked you off his bed, a loud thud being heard from your ass hitting the floor at high speed.

“You’re a friggen asshole, you know” You tell him as you pick yourself up off the floor and walk away.

“He had a really good time, wont stop gushing about it. I’m probably gonna vomit its so gross” He showed you a few text messages he had recieved from Colby, there were plenty of heart eye emojis.

“Okay, I get it. But I shouldn’t be looking at these messages, its an envasion of privacy” You tell him as you leave the room, taking one last look at the phone before leaving.

She looked so gorgeous and she wasn’t even trying

The last text message you saw had read, you felt all giddy and you didn’t know what to do. But you knew you wanted to be around Colby all the time.

— — — —

If you liked this a nice comment is always appreciated

[spacerangersam]

did a big ol edit of episode 1 of bsotd and i’m a lot happier with it now

SMITH: Is this thing working?

He has a Welsh accent and his voice is rough and quiet.  It is still a nice sounding voice, however. His words are followed by a noncommittal murmur, belonging to a different voice.

IMELDA: I didn't take IT, I don't have a fucking clue

Her voice is smooth and naturally a little louder than the boy's, but not to the point where it’s harsh. She has an accent, Irish, but it’s very faint.

SMITH: I mean, a light is on, so tha’s good, right?

IMELDA: If I say yes, can we move on?

SMITH: Uh, sure

IMELDA: Then yes

SMITH: Alrighty then... well, there's a very big chance this didn' work, but I'm just gonna act like it definitely did. So, uh, hello... world. My name is Smith Waterston, and I, uh, am the temporary host of the Clearwater Boarding School radio show

UNKNOWN GIRL: I'm Imelda Abayan. Student council president. I'm here to make sure he doesn't kill himself

Smith laughs sharply then clears his throat. 

SMITH: Um, so someone messed with the... thingies and... did something? I don' know, I kinda blanked out three minutes in

IMELDA: Don’t get hung up about it, I don’t think he honestly knew what he was saying either

SMITH: No, I-I’m sure he did

IMELDA: Considering he said the word ‘doohicky’ at least three times, I would argue not

SMITH: …Maybe tha’s a technical term?

IMELDA: Smith, don’t make me call you an idiot. I don’t like calling injured people idiots, it seems rude

SMITH: Fine. Anyway, the point is, people outside of Clearwater should now be able to hear us. Outside of the school that is, no idea about outside of town.

IMELDA: I’d assume not

SMITH: Regardless, uh, hello to everyone who’s listening.  So, my job here is to keep you up to date on the schedule, the menu, rules and so on

IMELDA: Dead?

SMITH: Oh, yes. And to keep you updated on the list of dead and injured, obviously

IMELDA: Moment of silence?

SMITH: Huh? Oh! Yes, uh, let us have a moment of silence for the prior host of this station, Annabelle Bloom. Rest in peace, Miss Bloom

There are 30 seconds of silence.

SMITH: Thank you. I heard it was quick at least

IMELDA: Messy though. Jumped off the roof

SMITH: Really? I heard she was pushed

IMELDA: I also heard that a disembodied encouraged her to do it. Who knows?

SMITH: No one, I assume. You know, since she’s dead and all. Can’ really ask her now, can we?

IMELDA: Well, we could. We just wouldn’t get a reply, which would make it all pretty pointless

SMITH: I think they burnt her, so I don’ think there’d be anything to ask anyway. I mean, you could ask her room, but tha’ jus’ seems a little silly

IMELDA: It does a bit

SMITH: Anyway, uh, I don' know how fast news travels out there, so jus' in case: all teachers of Clearwater are currently out of action. 40 out of 50 are dead, 10 are injured, 4 with a chance of full recovery, 6 are already having their funerals planned. With students, 120 of 478 are dead, 65 injured and thirteen missing.

IMELDA: We don’t have time to read out the names right now, but we will during the after-lunch show

SMITH: We’ve only lost thirty in the last month, however, which is honestly a pretty good number

IMELDA: You're making it sound like it's good that they're dead

SMITH: I, uh, meant in the sense that I expected the number to be much higher! Sorry, sorry

IMELDA: Chill, I got ya, man

SMITH: Alright, sorry, sorry. Um... it's been a surprisingly quiet week here at Clearwater. No deaths, only a number of minor injuries, and we even managed to contact our fellow boarding school, Bridgewater! 

Imelda claps slowly.

SMITH: The building is basically in ruins now, so we're making plans to move them an’ their supplies over here in the next week, which is nice. Always good to have allies, even if we did egg their school tha’ one Halloween...

IMELDA: Water under the bridge

SMITH: Well, I hope it is anyway. Or else this may all be an elaborate plan to murder us all, and I think we can all agree tha’ tha’ would be a bit inconvenient

IMELDA: Bit of an understatement, but okay

SMITH: Regardless, good news all around mostly. You know, apart from the mysterious symbols and messages appearing outside of the school…

IMELDA: Don’t think about it. And if you can’t not think about it, drink-

SMITH: Water

IMELDA: Don’t be a pussy, students. Get wasted

SMITH: Imelda, we’ve only been here one day, I swear if you get us reported- actually… never mind, carry on

IMELDA: Nice try, man. Finish the announcements

SMITH: Dammit. Right, so we have an update from the chemistry club, which is lovely. Honestly was beginning to wonder if they were all dead, so it’s good to know tha’ they’re not

IMELDA: You lot really need to get out more

SMITH: I- yeah. You do. Well, not out out, but outside of tha’ room at least. If you went outside you lot would be fucked

Smith lets out a sharp laugh. Then coughs.

SMITH: Um. No offence

IMELDA: I’m sure they didn’t take any. And even if they did, the fuck they gonna do? They’re all skinny nerds

SMITH: Dorian’s part of the chemistry club, and he’s built like a goddamn shithouse

IMELDA: He’s an outlier. I shouldn’t have to account for rogue rugby-playing science nerds

SMITH: You know he’s absolutely not an outlier

IMELDA: Hey, let my schemata alone you bitch, stop trying to make me acknowledge differences

SMITH: Alttight, calm down, I’ll leave your… schisms alone

IMELDA: That’s absolutely not what I said

SMITH: Anyway, the chemistry club finally figured out how to make some Malakoff cocktails. Also managed to get their hands on some RDX! Took some time, but hopefully but tomorrow we'll have some brand-new weapons on hand, how exciting!

IMELDA: And necessary since while there are plenty of corrosive acids on offer here, most are slow acting

SMITH: Not to mention we haven't figured out a more effective way of using them past just... throwing the jars at them... which doesn't always work... it’s happening okay, I promise

IMELDA: Slowly

SMITH: Better than nothing. Helps we found the secret stash of Mr. Fishmonger's alcohol. Who knew he was a massive alcoholic?

IMELDA: Everybody

SMITH: Oh

IMELDA: Also, ‘massive alcoholic’? What does that mean? Would it even be possible to be a small alcoholic?

SMITH: Yes, and it's called 'I only drink on the weekend every weekend and sometimes during Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday Friday to get through the week until the weekend'

IMELDA: …Aight

Loud, blaring sirens go off.

IMELDA: ...Shit.

SMITH: Gotta go

...

SMITH: False alarm. Mary James was jus’ sleeping walking, again.

IMELDA: Well, at least she won't be doing that again anytime soon

SMITH: Ah, yes... well they expect she'll, uh, make a full recovery in a few weeks

IMELDA: If you’re passing by, maybe consider dropping in an’ saying hi. Especially if you’re the one who threw that bicycle at her. I mean, what the fuck man, where did you even get that thing? And how did you have the upper body strength to lob it across the hallway?

SMITH: Well, they do say fear gives you an adrenaline rush

IMELDA: Do they?

SMITH: …I don’ know, I’m not a science guy. Anyway, someone kindly gave up some of their hair dye, so if you see what you think looks like an infected with neon pink hair, maybe jus’ wait a second?

IMELDA: Don't immediately throw a fucking bike at her, is what he means...

SMITH: Or anything? Preferably

IMELDA: If you really must throw something, go for something that's not too hard, and please, only throw one thing before scouting out. We're running out of bandages

SMITH: And people

IMELDA: And now we’re all out of bikes

SMITH: And with the nurse still healing from his broken arm...right, jus’... think first, throw second? Maybe?

There's the sound of a door opening. Someone walks in, then walks back out. Smith and Imelda begin to talk quietly between themselves.

SMITH: Are they fuckin' serious?

IMELDA: No one's drawn dicks on it, so I assume so

SMITH: Bit late, ain' it?

IMELDA: Might explain on the back

SMITH: ...Ah... right

IMELDA: How bad is it?

SMITH: Check for yourself

There's the sound of papers rustling.

IMELDA: Damn

SMITH: Yeah

Smith coughs.

SMITH: Righ', righ', sorry to cut this ... show? Is it a show?

IMELDA: No idea

SMITH: Fair enough. Anyway, as I was saying, sorry for cutting... this short today, they've changed up the schedule a bit

IMELDA: We’ll be back after lunch though. Or, we should be, at least

 SMITH: Um, to play us out is Mary James' song, Fuck Apples

IMELDA: I know many of you are startin' to get physically sick when you hear this song with how often it's been played, but hey, the poor girl's in hospital, I think she deserves this.

SMITH: And she did say she will be collaborating with the orchestra when she's recovered to finally bring youse some different songs. Anyway, my name is Smith, and goodbye for the evening

IMELDA: It's still morning

SMITH: Whatever. You gonna to say goodbye?

IMELDA: Yeah. Goodbye

SMITH: Exnihilo nihil fit

IMELDA: ...Habang may buhay, may pag-asa. Goodbye