#also you know what my cfs has gotten so much fucking worse in the last month.

[scorndotexe]

my mother is inching towards winning a prize for being the least helpful person who thinks she's the most helpful person in the world

[shion-yu]

Popsicle

Just a fluffy little Al/Theo drabble. 1,385 words. TW: Emeto, mention of past character suicide. Cool article about historic CF treatment here.

One of the first pictures Al has of himself is in the mist tent. He doesn't remember much about it - they were already going out of style when he was born and quickly fizzled out as an effective treatment for cystic fibrosis in the early 80s. Good thing, given they were better breeding grounds for pseudemonas than anything, but the snapshot remains among Al's many baby pictures. There's so many, his mom explains to him, because they didn't think he'd live past childhood. Everything felt unknown back then. Now, Al thinks, so much is different. Kids are diagnosed within 24 hours of being born thanks to mandatory newborn screenings. There are medications and treatments that extend life expectancy for some CFers almost to normal. Very little existed on that snow-stormy night in 1979 when Al was born.

When Theo sees the picture of Al in that plastic nighttime prison, the gigantic compressor next to his crib that easily weighed a hundred times more than he did, his jaw drops. "This can't be real," he says in disbelief. "This looks more like the 1930s. 1960s, tops."

"What, you think my parents put me in there for fun?" Al smirks. "But you're right. It looks crazy. But rural Ohio, ya know, it was a bit behind on the times."

Al's mom also regales him with tales of disassembling and sanitizing the entire contraption plus changing the bed every morning, the sheets often soaking wet by then. He doesn't envy her at all. It's just another reason Al respects his mother endlessly, even though he knows he doesn't call her enough. He should call her more often.

They stopped talking every day after Al moved to New York. It was gradual but intentional, and often because Al hadn't wanted to admit to her when she asked how his day was that he'd gotten into another fight with Ollie. She loved Ollie, but she had never thought they were ready to marry or move in together. Ollie had only tried to kill himself last year, she told him. What were they going to do in a big city, in another state, without a clear plan for their future? Couldn't they just move to Columbus and try there?

It was a big fight. Al ended up going, and after that he felt too ashamed to tell his mother that maybe she had been right. After Ollie died Al was scared to talk to her about it. He was already so broken, he didn't need to be told what he did wrong. But when they finally did talk about it, she just hugged him and told him she was there for whatever he needed. He should have trusted her more, he thought as he sobbed in her arms just like he was a boy again.

She's supposed to be visiting sometime soon. It was going to be this week, but both Al and Theo woke up yesterday with a stomach virus from hell and had spent most of the last twenty-four hours vomiting in tandem. Theo has it worse than Al though and Al's doing his best to keep Theo as hydrated as possible. It seemed like everything he's offered Theo comes right back up, though.

"I'm fucking dying," Theo groans loudly after yet another round of violent gagging. He's lying on the bathroom rug, naked other than a pair of boxers and shivering despite most of the blankets in the apartment being piled on top of him.

Al's in his own nest in the bathtub with the rest of the remaining blankets that they possess. He stopped vomiting a few hours ago and now just feels vaguely nauseous and exhausted, but doesn’t want to leave Theo’s side. “You’re going to be fine,” Al tells him, although Theo does look on death’s doorstep if he’s being honest. “Drink some more Gatorade.”

“Ugh. Don’t even say that,” Theo says. He’s been alternatively sipping on and puking up Gatorade ever since this started and he doesn't think he ever wants to taste that shit again.

"Do you want to go to the hospital?" Al asks him.

"Shut the fuck up," Theo mutters, which causes Al to laugh.

"You're fine enough to complain," Al says. He detangles himself from his blanket cacoon and climbs out of the tub to rub Theo's back. Theo quivers in response to being touched, but after the initial discomfort it feels good. Al tries to remember what else he can do to help someone with the stomach flu, but he can only ever remember having it once before when he was quite young. What had his mom done to make him feel better? "How about a popsicle? It'll get that taste out of your mouth."

Theo seems to consider it very seriously before he says, "In ten minutes."

"Got it," Al says with a tired smile. His partner is exceedingly logical as always and Al knows he was weighing the pros and cons of a popsicle now versus in ten minutes versus never. Al waits ten minutes before dragging himself to the kitchen to grab a popsicle and calls to update his mom.

"Hi baby," she says when she picks up. "How're you two holding up?"

Al tells her that he's fine now, but Theo's still going through it. "Any ideas? I'm about to give him a popsicle."

"That's a good idea," she tells him. "Hmm... Got any of those ginger candies?" Al considers it. He thinks maybe he has some burried among all the crap in his med cabinet. "What about pepto bismol?"

"Ew, the pink stuff?" Al cringes. It never worked well for him personally, but it seems the zofran he's been giving Theo hasn't really worked so maybe it's worth a try.

"I'll order you some," she says. Ever since she discovered the magic of grocery delivery she seems to find some excuse to send him something every week. He doesn't bother arguing this time, since it's for Theo's benefit and he knows it makes her feel better to help. "What's Theo's favorite flavor of popsicles?"

"Green," Al says.

"Lime, dear," his mother corrects him. Al doesn't say anything. It's not worth fighting about.

"Thanks mom," Al says. "Love you. I'll call later."

"Let me know when you're feeling better," she responds, "And I'll re-book my flight."

Al knows she'll rebook it within an hour, so he'd better wait until they're feeling entirely better. Theo is fond of Al's mother, but he doesn't need her nagging and taking over the apartment while he's still not feeling well. Al tells her he loves her again and hangs up. Then he goes back to Theo's side where he finds his boyfriend yet again retching fruitlessly into the toilet. His heart clenches with pity.

"Poor Theo," he hums sympathetically, "You're okay. Deep breaths."

"Nothing's coming up," Theo groans.

"I know," Al says. "Let's get you to bed, okay? I want you to try eating this."

"What if I throw up in bed?" Theo mumbles feverishly.

"Then you throw up in bed. It'll be okay," Al soothes him, wrapping one of Theo's arms around his shoulders and hoisting him to his feet. They make it to the bedroom where Al deposits Theo onto the bed and presses the popsicle to his lips. "Suck on this. Just a little," Al coaxes him. "I know you don't want to but I can't let you get dehydrated."

"Fine," Theo obeys reluctantly. He gags a little but manages a decent amount before he pushes it into Al's hands. "I'm done," he pleads.

"Good job," Al says gently, running a hand through Theo's hair. He kisses Theo's forehead and puts the remaining popsicle into an empty water cup on his bedside table, so when it melts it won't make a mess. Then he brings a wet washcloth from the bathroom and washes Theo's sweaty, sticky face for him.

"Do you think you can sleep?" Al asks Theo. "Just for a bit."

"Maybe," Theo says. His pale, greyish complexion makes him look older than he is. "Will you stay with me?"

"Of course," Al says. He wants to nap too, anyways. "I'll be right here, don't worry."

"Love you," Theo mumbles.

Al smiles a little and kisses Theo again. "I love you too. Now rest."

Not sure if we actually have to write something for the "Free Space" in @hurtcomfort-bingo but if so, I'll count this one for my Free Space!

[nikideaf]

Gave this old account a facelift because it looks like I’ll be stuck in the house a while. I mean, we all will, right? Because, pandemic. But me, I’m going to have my ass stuck in BED mostly. Some things are a bit haywire with the wiring of this here old body. 

Sigh...I don’t really want to make a big deal out of the stuff that is going on with me physically even though it IS real and it IS bad pain (and I hate that I feel defensive when I say that.) I’ve been treated with scorn and derision by my ex and his family (mostly his vile mother) about physical problems that I had. Even later on when I started to piece things together my own mother was still skeptical (and she always has been, with her perfectly average body that functions normally for her on command.) But I’m 40 now, and even though I have emotional scars from this that make me hesitate to speak out, I know my body and I know what I have. I’ve spoken to doctors and gotten real, concrete diagnosis. And my mental illnesses have been stabilized as well, for a prolonged period of time, so I can discount them as potential influences on my diagnoses.

Here is the list: 1. Asthma 2. Allergies 3. Psoriasis 4. GERD and IBD, these go together really, and then I’ve developed gluten intolerance to make a nice, lovely trifecta there. I just bloat the fuck up if I eat any refined white carbs, and I get gassy and farty. It’s not TERRIBLE really unless I combine it with some other really bad eating habits in the same meal and give myself IBD symptom flare-ups. But eating regular pasta makes me look like I gained so much weight in my face just like in 1 hour because of the bloat! I almost 100% gave up pasta because of that and it was my fave food too 😭😭😭 I haven’t had it in months. Anyway. 5. NAFLD (non-alcoholic fatty liver disease.) I don’t THINK I have this anymore; I gained a lot of weight from my meds. So I went off them with the doc’s permission and I’ve lost almost 50 lbs! This time last year he said my liver enzymes showed I could have NAFLD, which is totally curable if you lose weight the healthy way. I had metabolic syndrome, the whole deal, but I fit back into all my old clothes now, so I think it should be ok. I’m seeing my G.I. doc on the 17th so he will be able to tell me. 6. Now I have a cluster of neurological disorders. The one I’ve had the longest is migraines. Been having those forever. Now in additon I also have herniated disc(s) and currently the ruptured disc or discs is causing rather extreme sciatica. I have a pinched sciatic nerve, AND a pinched phrenic nerve, the latter of which was causing diaphragm spasms. And as a result of all this, because we could not resolve the pinched nerve situation in a timely fashion, it led to peripheral neuropathy and fibromyalgia (which my mom doesn’t believe exists, BTW. She should bring that up with my new lung doctor who understood right away when I was discussing the diaphragm spasms with her. *said rather dryly* I do admit fibromyalgia is a rather vague term but you have to start somewhere, do you not?) 7. I also developed POTS either this year or last year, I’m not sure, but at the time I didn’t know what it was. I’ve always had really bad circulation - my hands and feet are ALWAYS cold - and I’ve always loved salt, so much so that back when I was still allowed to eat ramen (WAAAH) I would put salt on it. Yeah, the flat pack ones. Not only that, but I’d salt every. Single. Bite. I probably should have taken the hint...oh and and the almost fainting thing, and the time I fell off my bed, good times *SARCASM LEVEL IS HIGH* ok, I think that’s about it.. oh wait, 8. ME/CFS, a touch of allodynia (passed that to my daughter, yikes, poor thing) and some 9. Endometriosis for good measure (lying here suffering pangs from that one now. Fucking reproductive system. I don’t need it anymore anyway) my aunt, my dad’s sister, she had that too but way worse. She couldn’t have kids and was suuuuper salty about it. She died pretty young of cancer and there was some family drama and NOBODY, NOT ONE SINGLE SOUL, NOT EVEN MY GRANDMOTHER, went to her funeral. Pretty fuckin sad.

Well, ok, so I’ve decided I’m going to leave a selfie (likely highly filtered because I would otherwise look like crap) at the end of every blog post. I know that seems a little vain, but hey, this blog isn’t for YOU. It’s for ME, because I’m finally accepting that I may be...just maybe...a #spoonie 😱😱😱 and if you can’t be vain and self absorbed and whiny and and pathetic in YOUR OWN BLOG, well then where??? I’m going to leave it open to the public for the time being because I have questions, but if I get hated on I’ll make it private. But hopefully if nothing else my pathos will be entertaining 🤪

Aight, I’m out (certainly not out of this bed, but definitely at least putting the god damn phone down) peace love and bacon 🥓

[rotationalsymmetry]

Ok, so, for people who don’t know, the problem with this is it’s ass backwards. The last line has something about deconditioning. Deconditioning is a real thing — it just means that people who don’t move their bodies much for a while (eg while recovering from major surgery) lose muscle mass and feel tired as a result. And of course deconditioning happens to CFS patients. But CFS isn’t caused by deconditioning. (Autocorrect, stop, I beg you.) It’s not caused by people being couch potatoes. It makes people tired and gives them PEM and then they move around less as a result.

So first it’s got the causal line reversed. But also, if you have CFS, you’re best off if you do the exact opposite of this. People with CFS on the balance don’t have problems because we think we can do less than we actually can. We have problems because we think we can do MORE than we actually can. And then when we do we get whomped. Post exertional malaise: getting disproportionately tired (and irritable and brain fogged and body achey and so on, personally I’ve gotten shortness of breath but that’s kind of an unusual one) as a result of physical or cognitive activity, or also stress or other strong feelings for that matter. (for instance: I thought I was going to be a mess after my wedding, because that was a lot of social time all at once — social stuff is cognitive effort, even just listening to one person talk in a quiet room but especially listening to multiple people talking in a loud space like a restaurant, or a wedding reception — but actually I was doing better the couple days after the wedding than the week leading up to it, and my best guess why is that the stress of “how is this going to turn out” was released.)

A lot of people with CFS/ME have found this out the hard way. for many people in the form of PERMANENT WORSENING OF SYMPTOMS. So yeah.

I honestly don’t know if I’m in that category or not. I mean, i wasn’t pacing in the early months because I didn’t know what I had. It’s possible I got perma worse because I was trying to “stay active”. But it’s also possible that just would have happened anyways, or that my sense of being worse is because since I’m pacing I just hold back before I go too far past my limits so it looks like I can do less. I don’t know. What I know is things got really, really bad temporarily. Couldn‘t leave the apartment or shower for days at a time bad. Had to have my partner make a sandwich for me for lunch before going to work because making a sandwich for myself was … and my mood was all over the place, I wasn’t pleasant to be around. I spent my days slouched down on the couch because sitting upright was exhausting. When I got outside, i might have to lie down on the sidewalk when walking a short city block or two back to the apartment. I’d fall asleep in the middle of the day. (Which I realize lots of people do when they’ve got an average day. But for me, that’s a sign things are really bad, worse than not being able to shower.

(this wasn’t every day — other days I was able to be more active — but it got to the point where more days were like that than not. I was keeping track.)

Things got really bad temporarily, because I wasn’t pacing, and especially after seeing the cardiologist who told me to “stay active.”

When I decided to try doing things differently — stopping at the first sign that I was tired, taking the fucking elevator, eventually taking preemptive rests and working out my energy envelope, carrying a folding stool with me so I could sit down any time I needed to — things got, not 100% better, but less bad.

These days I almost always shower standing up (I had an in-between period where I typically showered sitting down, after I learned that that was an option.) I can get outside pretty much any day I want to. My mood is more stable. I don’t get weird super hungry out of nowhere things. I don’t get shortness of breath any more. I can sit upright for extended periods. I can do small things in the kitchen, like make sandwiches. I can do small errands. If I’m willing to prioritize it, I can do bigger errands or trips. I almost never cancel social plans any more, because I know where my limits are and I just don’t plan things I can’t do.

And maybe that doesn’t sound like much. It wouldn’t have sounded like much to me at first, when I was comparing where I was each day to my former healthy self. I kept noticing what I couldn’t do. But when I started comparing myself to my sickest days…there’s actually a really big difference between being able to fucking feed yourself when you’re home alone, and not being able to do that.

When I think about CBT, I think about how I was tracking my mood before and during my descent into CFS. And my average mood went way down in the first few months. But a year later? My mood was higher than before I got sick. It’s the hedonic treadmill. You’re not as happy as you are healthy. Happiness goes along with whether you think you’re getting better or getting worse. And it can’t reset until you accept that things are worse. That this isn’t some aberration like having the flu or breaking a leg, but that it’s your new normal.

Anyways. The idea of using something that is afterall basically good and basically about getting your views aligned with reality (I have a long ass history of CBT because I have a long ass history of depression or at least of something that makes me want to die, and CBT can be good for that) and using it for this lie that CFS is just in your head…I can’t even.

The idea that I have limits — that I can’t just go visit family and spend every waking moment talking and playing games and going places and have that work out ok — is not a cognitive distortion. “I should be able to do that (because people without CFS can)” is the distortion.

When you post like a million unrelated things in a few days so you have to go to someone else’s blog to find the thing.

The thing btw: https://www.meaction.net/2021/08/02/sign-on-to-meactions-response-to-flawed-cdc-review/

[paradoxicalca]

/r/hockey NHL Power Rankings Week 26 Knightfall Edition

/r/Hockey NHL Power Rankings Week Mar 25, 2019 - Mar 31, 2019Thank YouThank you to all of the volunteers doing the power rankings. Each ranker has their own system and have their own reasonings and analyis. It truly is a lot of work.RankersSpoilerOrganizersSpoilerVisualizationThe visualization contains historical data, so you can see how your team has done over time. Hopefully, we can run this for many years in hopes that we can see the rise and fall of teams by /r/hockey opinion.It automatically updates so feel free to bookmark. You can find it hereProcessHow does this work? Throughout the course of the week rankers are able to access an app that will allow them to rank teams. At the end of the period we calculate the average ranking for every team and collate all of the analysis provided by rankers.The app then generates a post that is first proofread and then posted to /r/hockey!Rankings (26/31 Rankers Reporting)Ranking (avg)TeamDeltaOverall RecordRecord This WeekComments1 (1.08)Tampa Bay Lightning-59-15-41-1-0Tampa doesn’t play well after a long break. That has been established quite well this season. There isn’t much more I can say about the Bolts that hasn’t been said I’m going to focus on some baby Bolts. Carter Verhaeghe leads the AHL in points with 75 (30 G 45A), Alex Barre-Boulet is second in rookie scoring with 60 ponts (32 G 28 A), Cal Foote also a rookie has 29 points ( 9 G 20A +16) as a defenseman, Alexander Volkov continues to show strong two way play in his second season (20 G 20A). Taylor Raddsyh is 8th in rookie scoring (17G 26A), Boris Katchouck is still trying to find his footing, Mitchell Stephens who almost made the team out of camp but had an unfortunate injury has played well since his return. Suffice it say there are a lot of good young players developing in Syracuse.2 (3.56)Boston Bruins147-23-91-3-0Oof. It seems neither Toronto nor Boston want home ice advantage in the first round. Both teams are losing to lottery contenders. At least 🍝 got a hattrick against the Rangers and Backes got his 7th goal of the season; passing James Neal.3 (3.88)Calgary Flames-149-23-72-2-0And that is how the West was clinched.4 (4.28)Washington Capitals247-24-83-0-0Starting this week I'm ranking teams based on who I think will win the cup, biases included - Caps are second. We absolutely took it to the Bolts last night, with each member of our old top line scoring twice, dominating them as much as you can dominate that team. I'm fully torqued entering the 'loffs, literally counting down the days like it's christmas. Both Carolina and cum bus scare me, but the post-TDL Caps can beat anybody. Russian machine never breaks babes.5 (7.32)New York Islanders246-26-72-1-0Clinched? Fucking Right! Isles had the chance to clinch on Tuesday night versus CBJ but played awful and lost badly. Thursday they constantly played down 2, chasing the Jets. They were down for about 58 minutes throughout the game, but scored 2 goals with less than 90 seconds to go to tie, and steal the win in Manitoba. They kept momentum from there to dominate Buffalo and clinch a playoff spot before April for the first time in almost 30 years. Lehner looks like a wall in net and is maybe the most loved Islander right now. Eberle has a hot hand scoring lots of goals after a long dry spell, Barzal is finally seeing results for his hard work, and other guys like Bailey are chipping in after a long cold streak. This team looks to be heating up again at the perfect time, looking like they will finish as the #2 in the Metro with home ice advantage for the first time in a long long time. If things play out well they could be playing Washington for the division title on the last day of their season.6 (8.12)San Jose Sharks-144-26-91-3-07 (8.44)Nashville Predators444-29-62-1-0Ignoring the result of the CBJ game (Saros is apparently no Michael Jordan when it comes to flu games), it's been a pretty okay week to be a Preds fan. Fabbro signed on so fears of another Vesey situation were finally put to ease. He even made his debut, not an earth shattering one mind you but it was solid nonetheless. That does burn the first year of his ELC which will expose him in the Seattle expansion, but current speculation is that was a term to him actually signing. In other player news, Arvidsson has tied the Preds single season goal record with only 55 GP. Watson completed his AHL conditioning stint, and it will be interesting to see how he gets slotted into the roster. Turris is... yeah. The Central is up for grabs, with any combination of NSH, STL, or WPG in the top 3 a distinct possibility. The Preds final three games are @ BUF, v VAN, v CHI, games that they should be able to win and go into the playoffs at least lukewarm and potentially with home ice advantage. Key word there being 'should'.8 (8.72)Winnipeg Jets-445-29-40-3-09 (9.52)Toronto Maple Leafs-145-26-71-1-1A tale of two teams in the month of March...Team A was missing two of their Top 4D for basically the entire month of March. Collected 16 of 30 points. Posted a CF% of 44.9%, a xGF% of 44.3%, and a PDO of 103.51...Team B was also missing two of their Top 4D for the entire month of March. Collected 15 of 28 points. Posted a CF% of 54.4%, a xGF% of 55%, and a PDO of 98.7...Guess which of these teams is expected to become a Conference Finalist and which is expected to be bounced quickly in Round 1? TOR is Team B but there's been a lot of "they don't look good" punditry over the Leafs' recent play despite the reality that they've been downright dominant (5th in CF%, 5th in xGF%). Unfortunately, their goaltending fell apart to the tune of a .892 Team SV% in March. It's the kind of thing that can sink ANY team in the NHL, no matter how well the rest of the group is playing. The good news is Freddy and the Buds have one final week to tighten up. Otherwise it will truly be Bruins in 5.10 (10.08)Carolina Hurricanes-43-29-71-3-0The Canes are still finding a way to stay in the thick of it with every game being a must win game. Losses have come from one bad period of hockey against some of the top teams in the league, namely Tampa and Washington. The month of December is haunting the team, 2 points from one of those terrible games would have gone far this month. Previous week went 3 - 2, beating the Wild cleanly, Montreal in OT, and Flyers was alot closer of a game than the scoresheet would show. Washington beat the team for the two losses of the week, both in the third period. The hope here in Canes Country is that those 4 points don't haunt us too. Mrazek is emerging more and more as our #1, but expect the shuffle to keep happening till playoffs come (if and when) Svechnikov has grown into the scoring talent that was promised with the second overall pick (and top forward in the draft) Hamilton continues to show why he is the best defenceman from his draft year with two goals, and continues his streak of games wi11 (10.4)Columbus Blue Jackets345-30-44-0-0What a time to get hot. This Jackets team that we are watching right now is what we expected to see after the TDL. Every line has been playing great as we seem to have finally stumbled on the right combinations. Bob is literally a brick wall and our offence has been just as good. Over the last 5 games the Jackets have outscored their opponents 24-4. This final week is going to be exciting, and we could land anywhere from 3rd in the metro to 9th in the East.12 (10.52)Pittsburgh Penguins-43-25-112-1-0I don't have much to say this week except who'd have thought in December we might finish with more points than the Leafs? We're one game from extending the longest active playoff streak in the NHL. It's been a good season all things considered.13 (11.44)St. Louis Blues-42-28-82-1-0The Blues finally clinched the playoffs this week, and if you told me 3 months ago that we'd be fighting for the division I'd have said "yeah and 25 year old goalies can debut after 6 years in professional hockey and contend for the Calder." Memes do come true i guess14 (12)Vegas Golden Knights-542-30-70-3-1Even the Stone age is not invulnerable to having average goaltending.15 (13.72)Dallas Stars141-31-73-0-1I put the Stars at 8 this week because we earned 7/8 points and we look like the Western team to beat heading into the playoffs. My major concern is that we win too much and end up in a worse matchup against Nashville.16 (14)Montreal Canadiens-142-29-82-1-017 (17.52)Arizona Coyotes-38-33-82-0-1That game against the Avalanche could be the final dagger in this season but as we have been doing we keep clawing our way back. Just need some help.18 (18.08)Colorado Avalanche136-29-132-0-02 Big wins this week! We beat back the two desert teams, to establish our selves in the second wild card. Its not over yet, but we have control of our own destiny. The Captain is back just in time for or final push. On the bad side Rantanen's injury might be a bit more severe than first reported, but he should be back for the playoffs. One final push this week we need at least two wins, three guarantees it. Also Cale Makar is Hype and Avs prospects are showing well in the NCAA tourney.19 (19.68)Minnesota Wild136-34-91-2-0And so closes the window on the Minnesota Wild.20 (20.44)Philadelphia Flyers-237-34-81-2-0Fade us fam. Hail Gritty. Praise be unto Wawa. And screw William Hill commercials.21 (21.52)Florida Panthers-35-32-122-2-0Roberto has turned back the clock again. We still don’t know if this is his final season but if it is lets give him a sendoff that he deserves.22 (21.92)Chicago Blackhawks-34-33-111-1-1The Blackhawks' PP went 3 for 32 in March (29th in NHL), the PK allowed 10 goals in 32 opportunities (also, 29th). Excluding empty net goals, 5 of the Blackhawks' 7 losses this month were by 1 goal. They'd likely be in a much different position playoff-wise if they'd gotten some help from their special teams. DeBrincat (5G, 5A in March) has caught up to Kane (1G, 10A) for the team's lead in goals at 41. DeBrincat is the second-youngest Hawk to hit the 40-goal mark (after JR). That also makes him and Kane the second pair of American-born 40-goal scorers on a team (after Mullen & Stevens, 91-92 Penguins), and the first pair of Hawks since the 90-91 season (Roenick & Larmer). Gustafsson (5G, 4A) scored his 17th goal of the season, the most by a Hawks dman since Byfuglien in 09-10 (also 17). Caggiula returned from a concussion on Sat, while Kampf left with a facial/dental injury. When healthy, Kampf has been one of the best defensive forwards in the league. Sikura still awaits his first NHL goal.23 (23.36)Vancouver Canucks134-35-102-1-0The future is here, sort of. It's here like the era of the electric car is here - there's plenty of flashy things to get excited about, but there's still many, many hurdles to overcome. The arrival of Quinn Hughes allows this season to end on a warm note and leaves many hopeful that the Canucks might secure one of those "young team overperforming" playoff berths next year. It was also pretty awesome to see Edler crack the all-time goalscoring record for a defenceman. Otherwise, the lack of regulation wins prevents this team from moving much either way in the power rankings.24 (23.92)Edmonton Oilers-134-35-91-1-125 (25)Anaheim Ducks-133-37-102-1-0Rakell must not think we are out of the playoff race. He had a natural hat trick against the oilers. Ducks keep on slipping slipping slipping up the standings and out of the jack Hughes race. Best part of the week: Jake Dotchin has to exit the game yesterday because he was technically scratched while playing for an injured player26 (26.52)New York Rangers131-34-132-2-0Georgiev is starting to show why he is the heir apparent to the throne.27 (26.6)Detroit Red Wings231-38-104-0-028 (27.48)Buffalo Sabres-231-38-100-4-1I'm willing to give goaltending a pass for now, given how god-awful our defense has been. This week we lost to not one, not two, but THREE of the four teams below us in the standings. In March we have 2 wins, and neither came in regulation. If you look back further, we have 3 total wins in our last 21 games played, and as I write we are down 0-3 to Columbus. In that stretch we have been out-scored 45-84. If that isn't depressing enough for you, just remember that we were first place in the league at one point this season. Where are we now? Oh yeah, bottom five. Again.29 (28.32)New Jersey Devils-129-40-101-1-1Most of us are either trying to find the "sim to the draft button" or enjoying getting a glimpse to our possible future with our young guns. Some games are decent and competitive like taking the blue hot blues to OT. Others are like like 4-0 to the wings. As long as this kind of play doesn't continue into next season, we should be alright. But Lord do I miss TayTay.30 (28.8)Los Angeles Kings-29-40-92-1-1The Kings self-sabotaged their draft lottery a bit this week- the young guys are doing well and Austin Wagner showed off his wheels with a sweet McDavid esque sprint.31 (29.76)Ottawa Senators-28-44-62-1-0Beating Toronto twice in the span of a couple weeks is probably the best thing to happen all season. /r/hockey NHL Power Rankings Week 26 Knightfall Edition Source

[survivorstorybookarendelle]

Episode 3 - Gain Some Numbers and Momentum! - Rhea

SO IM GONNA MAKE A CF ABOUT THIS BUT LET ME TELL YOU RIGHT NOW RIGHT HERE REGAN IS A MESS AND ALTHO I LOVE HER TO DEATH WHAT THE FUCK after carson and sheas fight that turned into regan and carson and shea, regan and carson started FIGHTING with each other in this chat im in with them and amanda, and im like "this needs to die rn" and like yelled at them to like calm down and not fuck this up AND THEN REGAN STARTS PMING ME ABT HOW ANNOYED SHE IS BUT IM LIKE "believe me I KNOW" and so amanda and i are like "im fucking killing myself rn" and i got nehe to flip so REGAN BETTER NOT FUCK IT UP

Can you ask for a better tribe swap? Like come one Everyone who voted out shea but Amanda is on galu Falo That's an allaince waiting to happen Now I just need to bond with the other falo members like I did with Nevs and hope they are as easy as them to emotionally manipulate and take control of The only scary part is each tribe is now 4-4 nev and falo So I gotta hope my tribe is the physical type to stay out of tribal council Or I can easily by easy target as these asshats have no clue who I am Oh shit wait Ashley from hos is here. I mean we don't have any bond but I can easily form a bond with her I wasn't shady in HOS so she has no reason to think some type of way Sorry I talk so much I'm kinda not having good flashbacks. Last time I was in a survivor and we had a tribe swap and I was on a 4-4 tribe my ally got blindsided and then I was next.

Confessional #4- The swap was almost best case scenario for me. Rob is my closest ally. Luke was someone I brought into the alliance and Ashley is someone I've gotten quite close with on original Falo even though we're not aligned. Also after seeing how the votes went for Nevs last tribal where Carson got four votes. Maybe some of these people on this tribe were some of those votes for him. 

CONFESSIONAL

I'm honestly super super depressed over how the vote on the other tribe went out, I wanted it to go to rocks so that my two faves would be safe, but my Shea was voted out : ( I love him and carson and seeing them fight is sad for me.

There's a swap and I think i'm in a fairly good position, I have Carson and people that I think I can trust with me. I hope it works out well for me, but you never know

LMFAO IM DEAD I COMPLIMENTED RICKY AND HES A FLOP AT STORYBOOK BECAUSE I READ THE QUESTION WRONG whew im meredith being a catfish too huh Patricia Lintter: STEFFEN REALLY DID CRASH MY SKYPE WHILE I WAS TRYING TO REVOTE IN PI HUH

CONFESSIONAL

http://prntscr.com/eijdpc how ironic? Luke's best friend, ally, in a season he played with and he ALL CAPS his name and answers it first. I see you Luke :p I know you and Drew are like Bonnie and Clyde, going on calls and swapping idols together. Steffen probably knows all about it  END CONFESSIONAL

So, like, ugh.. we clearly lost this immunity challenge and it sort of blows. It's an instant tribal, and that really makes it worse. I am nervous about my spot in this game honestly speaking. I think that my days are numbered, and that pisses me off. I don't know what to do. Patricia suggested we sacrifice Amanda, and honestly, I'm okay with that. She's got numbers, and she's a powerful one. Her mist will kill you ALL, so people need to beware of that. I hope this plan works, so that I can gain some numbers and momentum!  I just want to be able to actually make it far in this game!!

well..... that last tribal council didn't go as i expected but i can't say that i'm SHOCKED't because i didn't really expect to be included in what was going on in the tribe since no one had really talked game with me and my excess exile time but at least it wasn't me?? nehe had said that everyone was doing carson and i was like okay cool whatever but then it was a 4-4-1 with shea, carson, and regan self voting so it was basically like regan was the tie breaker... and i know that 3 of the votes for carson were me, rhea, and shea but both patricia and nehe told me that they were going to vote for carson so one of them is a liar and i don't know which one it is..... my gut and read tells me that it was nehe that was lying i mean i could be wrong but i'm rarely ever wrong so bookmark this!! but regardless after the revote shea ended up going home so from the looks of the vote i was in a 5-3 minority on the tribe and things werent looking good but guess what binch there was a tribe swap where me, rhea, and patricia are on the same tribe and the only person from OG nevs that didn't vote with us is amanda who is the person i had the best relationship with out of the people who voted against shea so things are looking up 

remember when i just said things were looking up? well fuck me right i'm never going to be optimistic again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  we lost immunity and now only have less than 2 hours until tribal.... so right now its 4 original falo and 4 original nevs on this tribe  of the 4 OG nevs me rhea and patricia (i think) voted together at the last tribal so rhea and patricia want to vote out amanda because of that BUT i think thats the fucking stupidest thing i've literally ever heard of in my entire life because zach is joining our tribe from exile and he's an original falo so if we vote out amanda it will be me rhea and patricia on a tribe with 5 OG falo people like....... and patricia is saying that meredith will flip to our side next round if we vote off amanda tonight but why the FUCK would meredith flip next week if it would make it 4-4 and risk a rock draw it just doesn't make sense for merediths game so shes either lying or shes just bad at this game and i don't want to put my life in this game in the hands of someone who is either of those options if meredith flipped with us this week and i got amanda to vote with me we would have a 5-3 majority next week like that's the smartest thing to do???? i'm trying to not put a target on myself and let patricia take control but that's clearly not working and i just messaged meredith but she hasn't responded so that's why i'm here writing this instead of putting in work to actively do something   okay 10 minutes has elapsed since i wrote that last sentence i got tired myself out by thinking too much and now im probably just going to vote amanda even though i dont want to and its strategically stupid but i guess future me will have to deal with that bullshit because present me has had e n o u g h