#also you gotta admit it's the most interesting choice

[laterkatersays]

It's so interesting watching perspectives on this episode because some people are just like, BH never really had a choice and this was always going to happen, this campaign sucks, or omg, I can't believe BH made the stupidest decision possible, this party sucks.

And I'm just here like... They made the only decision they could in the moment, knowing that Ludinus was likely coming back, knowing that any Ruidusborn could breach the last three barriers. The die was already cast, in the end BH stood together and said, we have to try to make it not as bad as it will be if Ludinus or a Ruidusborn under his control does it.

That says so much about who these characters are and who they are to each other. During the first half of the episode, each of them told Ludinus why they were there and it all came down to, we're here to stop you from doing this, and we're here together.

The difference is love. They love each other, they love the world, and as the Matron promised, love will save them.

[sashaforthewin]

Multi-chapter fic on Ao3

Steve had been enjoying a nice relaxing lounge by the pool despite it being night. He had his hearing aid off and his fruity drink and a romance novel Robin had let him borrow. He was determined to have a good time despite the circumstances. 

Someone tapped his foot, scaring the crap out of Steve and making him drop his book and nearly knock over his drink. 

It was a fellow cruise passenger and he was saying something. Steve turned his hearing aid back on.

“Sorry, what?”

“I asked why you were out here instead of at the concert,” repeated the man with a smile.

“Oh, um. I’m not actually a fan of metal music. It gives me headaches if I listen to more than one or two songs in a row,” Steve admitted sheepishly.

This stranger was still clearly a metal head, but he looked significantly less scary than most of the ones he had seen so far that day. Everyone Steve met had been nice, but Steve hadn’t felt comfortable telling anyone he wasn’t a fan until now. Maybe because it was just the two of them out here and he was smiling so cutely. 

“Not a metal fan? Well damn, not to critique your life choices, but I think maybe going on a metal cruise wasn’t an ideal choice for you? I’m Eddie, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Steve.”

There were plenty of deck lounges around, all empty, but Eddie sat down on Steve’s right next to his legs. 

“Steve. So Steve, why are you on a metal cruise when you don’t like metal? These tickets were not exactly cheap and there’s no way you missed the theme, it was pretty clearly advertised,” Eddie asked teasingly.

Steve looked Eddie over, noting that he was actually pretty cute. Pretty eyes, nice full lips, dimples, and he was that type of lanky Steve was drawn to. He had good skin and his hair had some volume and texture to it, Steve could work with that. Bit of a fixer-upper, but a better starting point than most of the men that had flirted with him since his last failed relationship. He also had the vibe, so Steve decided this guy would be fine to open up to. 

“Well, Eddie, I bought this ticket for my dear friend Dustin for his birthday, but then the little shit went and outed me to my parents. Accidentally, of course, and he feels like shit about it. But still, that got me kicked out of my home so maybe I’m being petty but I decided he shouldn’t get to go on this cruise after all. I forgive him, it really was an accident, but still, gotta teach him a lesson.” Steve shrugged. “And I would’ve gotten the ticket refunded but the money would’ve gone back to my parents and they clearly don’t deserve to get anything back from me. So, instead of trying to figure out how to sell a ticket to a very niche interest cruise, I figured I deserved to just come and treat myself for four days before I have to go back to living in my ex-girlfriend’s basement. It’s actually pretty nice to have the ship to myself while all you guys are in there shaking your heads to loud music.” Steve gestured to the pool and the drink.

“Ex- girl friend’s basement?” Eddie asked.

“Shut up, I’m bi.” Steve smacked Eddie on the arm with his book. 

Eddie grabbed the book and looked at it as he replied, “Hey, just checking to make sure I’m not barking up the wrong tree.”

“Oh? Is that what you’re doing, barking up my tree?” Steve said, playfully.

“If you’ll let me,” Eddie flirted back.

“So how come you’re not in the show right now?” Steve asked, gently stealing his book back from Eddie’s grasp.

“Oh, I’m touring with those guys right now, I have heard them play the same set like fifteen times already. I’d much rather be out here getting to chat with you. You know you’re beautiful, right? How come you don’t live with your boyfriend? Or girlfriend?” Eddie asked, quite obvious in his fishing for information.

“I’m single and yes, I do know I’m beautiful, but I still like hearing it. Are you like a roadie or something?”

“Actually,” Eddie said, “I’m the lead guitarist in the headlining band. We play tomorrow night. Can I buy you another drink? Maybe dinner?”

“The, uh, the bill goes to our cabins,” Steve answered, too shocked that an apparently famous musician was asking him out to respond appropriately.

“Baby, I’ll put your entire tab on my cabin if you’ll let me. You are the most beautiful, and dare I say cleanest man on this entire boat. Metal heads are great, but they aren’t really my type.”

Steve takes a sip of his cold drink just to make sure he’s not fallen asleep and dreaming. The ocean is calm and the moon is full and he is most definitely awake.

“And what is your type?” Steve asked. 

“Handsome men with soft hands who will let me pamper them,” Eddie said, picking up Steve’s hand and feeling his lack of calluses. He placed a kiss onto each finger tip. “These hands aren’t meant for labor, let me spoil you rotten.”

Well, Steve reasoned, even if this ended up being just a weekend fling, it was going to be worth the price of admission.

[meanbossart]

Is DU drow like....traumatized at all? Or is he one of those rare people who are so just adaptable that they don't internalize trauma? He's been through a lot in his young life!

Huh! I gotta admit that this is a surprising, but very interesting question to get. So, lets take a moment to look at the worst of what this clown has to offer WRT to his behavior/belief system:

-Obsessed with being the strongest, most impressive thing in the room at all times and feels threatened when someone is larger or seems more confident in themselves than him. -Has two singular friends (one whom he's bound to mate with until death dating) and is utterly convinced that everyone else in the world is worthless and nothing but a brief source of entertainment or trouble. -Thinks of himself as the sole protector of said friend's lives, and would hold himself entirely responsible for any bad fate that befell them, even if it had resulted from a choice they made on their own. -This also sometimes results in him accidentally belittling or minimizing their accomplishments/capabilities. -Defaults to categorizing people as either a) a threat or b) too weak/pathetic to worry about. -Would be incapable of articulating and working through his own negative emotions without the help insistence of his partner. -Willing to put himself in harms way at any time. -Utterly incurious, if not avoidant, about his own past and previous life, while simultaneously insisting that he's unbothered by and not at all responsible for the atrocities committed then. -Terrified of the very concept of being - and expressing - fear. -Believes that if he ever appears anything but capable and confident, or fails to provide protection or resources to his friend and partner, they will (rightfully so) leave him. -Hates help. Don't help him. -Hates being pitied. Don't feel bad for him. -Believes that his sole purpose in life is providing for his partner and puts himself in harm's way for them constantly, even if it goes against their wishes. -Is resigned to the idea that when Astarion dies, so will he, and thinks this makes him a loyal partner.

Do you see what I'm getting at? Some of these characteristics/beliefs are misguided biases. Some are consequence from terrifying, life-altering events of loss, hopelessness and helplessness. Some are quite literally just coping mechanisms and others are just him being arrogant because he realizes that he looks impressive in a mirror. I won't attempt to draw the line between which is which, I don't think you can.

But my point is, is that sometimes trauma response looks like anxiety, fear, tears, and emotional vulnerability, other times it can just make you a rather unlikable, though hopefully not totally irredeemable person.

[missetbilu]

KEEPING A CLOSE EYE*

perv!fred weasley x fem!reader, smut

when fred overhears you and the girls chit chatting about boys that you fancy, he can’t keep his mind from wandering, nor his hand.

warnings: perv concept, jerking off

"Come on, Y/N, there's gotta be someone you fancy." Ginny elbowed you, trying to get a response.

Angelina, Hermione, Ginny and yourself were in your favorite little spot in the library. A very secluded area, where you could study, sneak in some food, talk, without prying eyes or ears.

Although in that afternoon, you were not very much enjoying the topic of choice. Boys. Too shy to come clean about your little crush, you would much rather gossip or even focus on the charms essay due next week than engage in the conversation. But the girls were not having it.

"Yeah, even Hermione admitted to being completely, head over heels, in love with Ron." Angelina teased.

"Hey!" The girl blushed and looked away for a second, but curiosity got the best of her and she gave in to the argument. "She's right tho, you're the only one left."

"I just don't think of any guy here like that."

"In this castle full of boys, you expect me to believe not even a single one of them is your type?" Ginny said.

"Unless you're into girls."

"I'm not." You laughed at Angelina's curious expression. "I like men."

"Then name one you would" Hermione stopped herself mid sentence, suddenly a bit shy, "...you know."

"Fuck?" Angelina completed her thought and they all laughed, Hermione also shushing her and looking around to make sure they were alone.

"Alright." You took a deep breath and tried to sound as nonchalant as you possibly could. "I guess Fred is kind of cute."

"Aw dude, are you serious?" Ginny's disappointment was so clear in her face that the three other girls bursted out laughing.

"Shhh, guys, I don't wanna get kicked out." Hermioned said between giggles.

"Sorry, babe, but this was too good not to laugh at." Angelina responded, still chuckling.

"Too good? All my friends wanna fuck my brothers."

And you all fell into laughter again.

-

It had been a week since Fred discovered that spot of yours to hang out. Whenever you and the girls disappeared from his sight, he would get anxious, wondering where you might be.

Until the day he was looking for a potions book, but found something far better: you.

He managed to hide in the corridor next to the one where the group of girls would sit on the floor and chit chat. Usually he took no interest in the conversations you would have. But not that day. Throughout the whole week he listened to each silly subject the girls brought up, only paying attention to the sound of your angelic voice when you made a comment. That day it was different. Once the tables turned from homework to guys you fancied, Fred felt his heart skip a beat.

He was nervous, his palms becoming sweaty as each of the girls rambled about one boy after the other. He barely listened to the guys his sister brought up, nor to the mentions of his brothers. What mattered most to him was what you were going to say. He was so afraid of hearing another man's name fall out of your pretty lips; so afraid you would confess to feeling attracted to someone else.

But he was also infatuated with the possibility of his name being the one in your mind. You quietly listened to what your friends had to say, too scared to say something yourself, Fred saw that in your expression as he tried to eye your figure from the place where he was hiding. Just thinking about it, being him the person you kept yourself from mentioning, made his trousers feel a bit too tight. His hand travelled down to his growing bulge, but he didn't move it, he didn't want to risk not hearing you.

Your silence allowed his imagination to run wild. Maybe this whole thing got her thinking about how good I would fuck her, and she's afraid of sharing those filthy thoughts. He stroked his cock once, over the fabric of his clothes. Or perhaps she's so lost in the desire of getting filled up with my cum, she didn't even notice how quiet she's been... oh fuck... He did it again and had to hold back a moan.

Fred knew he shouldn’t, but it was as if he had no control over his actions. His hand slipped past his boxers and he stroked his dick, trying so hard to imagine it was you doing it.

Has she ever had a wet dream with me? He wondered. She would wake up sweaty and out of breath. Her panties are completely damp, but it's not because of the sweat, it's arousal. I bet she would be embarrassed, looking around the dorm to see if the other girls are sleeping, before she goes under the covers and... He gasps quietly, his hands going a bit faster now. And she lets her hand touch her dripping cunt... He bites his lip to stop himself from cursing. Her sweet fingers would tease her clit and she wouldn't be able to stop a moan of my name from coming out.

"Alright." When the word left your mouth he slowed down his movement, focusing on the head of his member. It was almost painful the way he teased his tip, trying to pay attention to what you were about to say. He even held his breath, that and the expectation making him even more sensitive. "I guess Fred is kind of cute."

Fred was really thankful for the loud laughter of the group that followed your confession, because the minute he heard your sugary voice saying his name, it was too much. He came in his hand with a low grunt.

He didn't listen to anything said after that. He didn't move or took his hand off of his trousers. He was in shock. As much as he wanted that outcome, it felt unreal now that it happened. He had imagined how you would sound saying you fancied him, what words you would choose and what exactly would be the look on your face. But none of it compared to the reality of it all.

You, such a perfect picture of beauty, intelligence, kindness. The most incredible, endearing and angelical woman he had ever set his eyes upon, out of all people, wanted him.

Fred waited until you all had left to pick himself up from his spot on the floor and attempt to use some spells and his robes to hide the stain in his pants. He did a good job, it wasn't too noticeable, but deep down he didn't care. There was something, or rather someone, much more important in his mind.

He stood in front of the corridor where you had been just a few minutes before. "I guess Fred is kind of cute." That played in his head over and over again, like a broken record. And Fred definitely didn't want to fix it.

[simpjaes]

mtl to be into pegging.............

MTL: hyung line + to be into pegging

most

★ jake: the obvious first choice is jake. i think he'd be into equality in the bedroom when he's not absolutely pussy drunk. i don't think he would prefer it over fucking you, but i also know he'd be into prostate milking and cumming in different ways that don't have to involve penetrating you. i uh...i think he'd be into double-headed dildo stuff with you too. idk, like the idea of being sooooooo messy, both of you panting and whining for more......til you're both out of breath and all fucked out. and with pegging, he'd be holding the base of his cock while you slide in deep, hitting his prostate repeatedly til he has to let go and grab onto you or the sheets, ultimately drenching himself in cum, crying through it. AAAAAAAAAAAA, anyway, i think he could ride, be ridden, and enjoy all of it. jake is truly capable of anything and everything in the bedroom and i just think that's sooooo fucking neat

☆ sunghoon: he probably wouldn't like, ask for it or anything but be down if you are. most men probably do like having the g-spot in their ass stimulated though. i see it as, he'd probably do it more on his own for experimenting purposes bc jake told him some crazy stuff, ended up liking it, then you'd catch him one day all bent over with his fingers in his ass :( you'd of course find it quite interesting bc it's not like you haven't thought about it. Asking him if he would wanna try to take more than a couple of fingers. he'd definitely be like "hahaha....yeah i guess", trying to hide how willing he is to be as stretched open as you are for him.

★ jay: some would say jay would never. but this is my blog and //i// say he would absolutely at least try it and probably fucking lie about liking it while absolutely drained and covered in his own cum. i'm talking, absolutely drenched up to his chin in his own cum while looking you in the eye and saying "idk if i liked that, kinda hurt more than i was expecting." and like, i think after the fact he wouldn't really request to do it again but also wouldn't be totally against it on a rare occasion. after all, he can at least admit like three months later that he's never felt an orgasm like that and when you pressed down on his abdomen and fucked him real deep, he couldn't breathe bc it felt so good. also probably not against a finger or two in his ass while he's got your legs spread. after all, at the end of the day, it's just pleasure and he's a big fan of not only feeling good himself, but seeing that glint in your eye when you make him feel good too.

☆ heeseung: i mean, he loooooooooooooooves anal but if anyone is getting fucked in the ass it's gonna be you, sorry babe. i think, similar to jay, he might be ok with a finger in his ass or maybe a bit of ass eating [gotta be on his terms], but i don't think he'd let you have that much control over his body. he sees how you act when he pushes in, he feels how tight it is and how pained you look from time to time. why in the fuck would he wanna feel that himself rather than the way your walls hug his dick? even when you tell him you love it, even when you try and argue like "well if you get to put it in my ass, i get to put it in yours!!" nah. you know better than anyone that he calls the shots, and if he wanted something that big in his ass he'd just try it on his own because again, no one is gonna be allowed to see him like that, not even you.

least

[nutellaninja0001]

I’ll have to admit, I truly thought I was done talking about this but here I am to say once again, the conflict between Sansa Stark and Daenerys Targaryen in season 8 was not “out of nowhere” it was not “pointless drama” and it was not “Sansa was just being a bitch” I started thinking about this debate again when I rewatched a recap video of GoT 5 years later. The creator went on to talk about how it didn’t make sense for Sansa to “not trust Daenerys” but why exactly SHOULD Sansa have trusted Daenerys?

I’m going to go over some points again just to break it down to the most basic level.

At this point in the series, it would be dumb for any Lord/Lady in Sansa’s position to openly trust a newcomer. Dany already had a reputation. She had dragons, an army known for its cruelty and the other for its pillaging/raping. Even if Jon had warned Sansa he bent the knee to Dany there isn’t one scene Jon actually vouches for Dany as a good or trustworthy person. Sansa only had what she might have heard about Dany whether that was burning lords or sacking cities. She only ever had Jon telling Sansa they need Dany to survive. Either way, why would Sansa want that coming to her doorstep? Fans point out time and time again how Foolish Ned was for trusting the wrong people. They just felt different because this time it was Dany.

Daenerys shows little interest in the actual preparations for winter/survival of Winterfell beyond her affections for Jon. Dany outright admits to Sansa Jon is the only reason she is here. Why would Sansa want to hand over a Kingdom she fought and suffered for to Dany, considering she sees it as yet another conquest on her list. If anything doesn’t make sense, to me it’s why Dany didn’t mind if the Iron Islands were independent but the North couldn’t be?

Sansa’s desire for northern independence wasn’t a season off arc she forgot about. It was a consistent character arc that pushed her from hopeful southern Queen to Queen of the North. Dany from day 1 made it clear that would never be under her rule.

Sansa asked some real questions as a ruling Lady while Dany tried to charm Sansa and it didn’t work. I think it was one of the only consistent writing choices made in season 8 considering this arc for Sansa reclaiming/coming home had started back in season 4. What did fans expect from Sansa? Both characters as I’ve said before were MEANT to be in conflict. Both women had been fighting for a long time to be in the positions they were. Neither were going to let that go or because Jon and Dany were together. I don’t even think we would’ve gotten as much of a debate had it been Arya speaking out against Dany but I’m glad it was Sansa as fans really thought she was going to up and serve Dany. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Let’s also please remember that after Sansa asked what Robb, Jon, Mance, The Wildlings, Yara and Dorne all asked. To be ruled as their own Kingdom. I gotta say, since it was Sansa as the main driving force for Northern independence in the last seasons fans made it out to be Sansa was once again, just being stupid. I never see the same arguments used against any of the other characters who wanted/died for the same thing. Even when Dany was outright threatening Sansa in the middle of her own Home

Why did Dany say this again? Because Sansa asked how they were to feed 3 large dragons in the middle of Winter. How they were going to feed Dany’s armies. Yet I never saw many fans argue Dany’s behavior to Sansa. She was a guest at Winterfell. Hoping to make good alliances and instead acted like this. You will never catch me defending most of the writing of GoT in season 8 but this was not one of them. The conflict started the minute Dany expected the North to bend and the minute Sansa said they will be an independent Kingdom

[ghostking4m]

Rejection Is Just Redirection

Luke Hughes x reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Listen, you didn’t really need college. You broke into the entertainment industry at 16, so college was just a plan b you put on the back burner. Being one of the most famous names and faces in the entire world, you easily had enough money to afford college, so why not give it a shot? After all, your boyfriend went to college, though he did kind of drop out to play hockey.

Once you made up your mind that you’d be going back to school, your next step what choosing your major and what schools to apply to. You write songs and sometimes write poems and books, so maybe English or journalism? Maybe Communications would help you answer some of the dodgy questions the paparazzi ask you. Heck, even political science or economics or business would be a good idea. They would allow you to make a difference in the world. Business sounds like a safe choice. You could do a lot with a business degree. Now to apply to schools.

So here’s the thing, you’re finally in a real relationship that you really don’t want to mess up. Staying in LA would allow you to go to school and continue working, so you could still be in the limelight when you want to be. USC and UCLA would be great choices for that and they’re extremely accredited schools. However, maybe Rutgers is the school you should choose, since it’s close to Luke. NYU might even be an interesting choice since it wouldn’t raise too many questions if you’re going to school in the city because you want to or if it’s because you want to be closer to your boyfriend. It has always been your dream school when you were a kid. Well, it’s decided then!

You honestly weren’t expecting the application and admissions process to be so complicated and grueling. It’s like the education system is trying to torture kids to see who would come out on top as the victor. College really is like the Hunger Games, isn’t it? You hadn’t the slightest idea of how to fill out your major requirement classes or send your high school transcript to the admissions office and your essays were mid at best. You’re a celebrity, it’s not like you needed to try all that hard to graduate high school since you did homeschooling since you were 16. Though, you gotta admit that the feeling of finally being done with the application process was a relief. It’s just a waiting game now for admissions decisions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“T-minus 2 hours until decisions come out. You nervous?” Luke asked as you guys were laying on the couch before he had to go to practice.

“A little, but it’s not the end of the world if I don’t get in. I mean, i’ve already got my career, so why would I worry about getting in so that I could work more to get a degree that would allow me to work even more? Why did i do this again?” you questioned back, joking with him. “If I don’t get in, I’ll just grab my bag and go back to LA and star in the highest grossing movie of the decade… again”

Luke laughed at your comment, despite hearing the quiet hesitation in your voice. He didn’t realize how much you actually wanted to get in. He didn’t know how much you wanted to prove that you’re more than just some face in gossip magazines or the most talked about name in the headlines. You wanted to be seen and treated like a person, someone who people respected because you worked just as hard as they did to get to the same place as them. You always advocated for equality for everyone and yet people always worshipped you and put you on a pedestal.

“Would that be such a bad thing?” he countered.

“I’m not sure yet. Part of me regrets applying, because I don’t want to get in for nepotism or for being famous, but I also want to get in, because I want to make everyone proud of me.” You replied.

It broke Luke’s heart a little to hear you talk about this in the way you are, because how could anyone not be proud of you and what you accomplished at such a young age? You had 6 Oscars, 4 Emmys, the most nominations at the Grammy’s this year, and you were named the most powerful person of the year by Time Magazine, Forbes Magazine, AND Vogue. You were a sensation that was still only just beginning. You had the entire world eating in the lam of your hand.

“Well, no matter what happens, I’m proud of you for trying. You don’t need college, but I applaud your efforts anyway. You could honestly be anything you want, be anyone you want, all you have to do is try and not everyone can do that.” He said, and his heart absolutely MELTED at the tiny smile you tried to hide by hiding your face further in his chest.

He heard you mumble the most adorable, embarrassed “Thanks” from his chest and he couldn’t help but giggle.

“Let’s not think about it for a while, please?” you asked, politely.

“Ok. We can just rewatch the movie where you play a real life version of one of the most famous dolls in the world.” He says, purposefully teasing you!!

“Oh God.” You laughed out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You held your breath as you opened the email concealing your admissions decisions. It felt as if the world was telling everyone to be quiet and listen.

“I got it.” You whispered as quietly as possible.

“You got in?!” Luke shouted, jumping nearly 7 feet high as he got up to look at you.

“No. I got the email that says if I got in or not.” You answered.

“Oh. Sorry for freaking out.” He looks away, slightly embarrassed. You give him a small look and smile full of adoration before turning back to your phone.

“Here goes nothing.” You say as you click on the email. “What? I don’t get it? Oh! I have to log into the admissions portal in order to see the decision.”

You click on the portal login link and enter your login id username and password, fingers slightly trembling with anticipation. Hesitantly, you click on the link that states “An update has been made about your decision.”

Taking a deep breath, you read a letter that says:

“Dear Y/n, Thank you for applying to New York University. We are humbled by the overwhelming interest in attending NYU and the outstanding quality of the applications we received this year. After careful consideration and thorough examination, it is with regret we must inform you were are unable to offer you admission for the Fall 2024 semester.”

“I didn’t get in.” You confessed barely loud enough for a mouse to hear.

Instantly, Luke had his arms around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest, fiercely protective. You were so disappointed that you weren’t even crying, almost as if you were expecting to be rejected.

“Whatever. Fuck them anyway. They didn’t deserve you to begin with. You belong somewhere like UMich or in an Ivy League school. You’re too good for them.” He tries to reassure you. “Look at it this way, you can continue doing what you love most and stay here with me. In the end, you learned something.”

“And what’s that?” you questioned him.

“Rejection is just redirection, that’s all. College wasn’t in the cards for you and life thinks you’re better off in the spotlight, making more money in a single year than those lousy admissions officers make in their entire lives. You were meant to be somebody great. You ARE somebody great and you’re becoming somebody even more perfect than I ever thought possible.”

His words struck a chord in your heart so deeply that you couldn’t help but hold on to him for dear life. You felt your eyes begin to prick with tears. As the first one fell out of your right eye, you knew automatically that they were tears of joy. Your heart swelled with pride and love for Luke as you laughed into his chest.

“Yeah. Fuck them. I don’t need them. I’m a star! You’re all I need.” You teased back. Deep down, you were incredibly disappointed, but Luke’s words of affirmation and love meant more to you than the rejection letter did. Nothing could beat that.

“That’s right, baby.” He laughed as he tighten his grip over you. He gently kissed the top of your head and repeated quiet “I love you’s” for at least 10 minutes.

“What time is it?” You asked.

“It’s…5:30.” He responded gently leaning over to turn on his phone to check. “Oh Shit! I’m gonna be late!”

“Go! Go! Go!” You laughed at him.

God, this boy. You thought, shaking your head. That’s MY boy.

[infinite8revisions]

Marius de Romanus

This is gonna be a long 'en!

Warning: This post contains criticisms of Marius.

Warning: This post contains discussions of grooming and abuse.

Ahhh, Marius de Romanus! Everyone's favorite master of exposition! The harborer of "Those that must be kept" and one of the Ancients! Don't let his knowledge and aristocratic airs fool you! Marius is still...I want to say human...but let's go with...imperfect! Bro still gotta put his shoes on one at a time is my point. Let's break down some of his traits. I've got a few adjectives that I think fit pretty well.

Narcissistic, Pretentious, and Pedophilic.

I'll explain, but first, 3 things!

1. There aren't any official book-accurate portrayals of Marius (yet) so we're going to have to deal with the short dark haired Marius from the "Queen Of The Damned" movie (which portrayed his personality well imo). Honestly, I thought about using pics of Lucius Malfoy for a split second! I mean he's a pretty close fit! LMAO!!

"He was a tall fair creature whose yellow hair was almost white. He had hard blue eyes, and a delicate face, covered with a thin layer of blood and ash to make him look more human to the mortal eye....He had large hands but they were slender and the fingers were fine."-Thorne: Blood and Gold

Above: Jason Isaacs as Lucius Malfoy.

2. Sorry in advance about all the quotes! It's just that Marius does a damn good job of making my points for me! I'm over here re-reading sections like-

3. Bit of a disclaimer here. Criticizing a character does NOT mean you don't like that character or the role they play in the story. I'm not sure why, but with Marius specifically, people can get a bit defensive about him. So this is the final warning: Not everything said in this post will be positive.

Now, where to begin with this man? Probably with the elephant in the room and the most severe of allegations. Pedophile.

Many people (including myself) call Marius a groomer. Sometimes there is pushback on this with people saying that while some of his relationships are viewed as inappropriate today, they were fine during the time. They also state that Marius is not a groomer, just someone who fell in love. I want to make it known that Marius himself admits to consciously grooming Amadeo (Armand).

"Never before had I wanted such a thing, to make a blood drinker for my own companionship, indeed to educate a mortal youth for this very purpose, and to groom him expertly that he might be the finest choice." Blood and Gold: Chapter 19

I debated on using the words pedophile, hebephile, and ephebophile when referring to Marius, but there's definitely a pattern. The fact is, when it comes to his romantic partners, his infatuation and lust for them frequently start around the ages 10-19. This is true of Amadeo, Lydia (Pandora), and Bianca. Let's take a look-

Above- Armand and Pandora: Queen Of The Damned (2002)

"Hebephilia is the sexual interest by adults in pubescent children who are in early adolescence, typically ages 11–15."

Marius claims that Amadeo was "no older than 15" when he rescues him, but I have to note that during their first sexual encounter soon after, Amadeo recounts that he "was too young for a wet pleasure" (The Vampire Armand: Chapter 3). This could still mean he was 15 and a later bloomer, but in general, it suggests (and I believe) he was probably younger.

Marius also insinuates that Amadeo was the only one of his boys with who he had a physical relationship, but I don't know how much I believe that. Especially considering he knew of the sexual play that went on between the boys at the palazzo.

Above: The Musicians Caravaggio (Michelangelo Merisi) Italian 1597

"Pedophilia is defined as a sexual interest by adults in prepubescent children.(This word is often used as an overarching term for an adult who has attraction to anyone under legal age.)"

For Pandora, Marius asks her father for her betrothal when he is 25 and she is 10, and again when he is 30 and she is 15. Of course, they don't end up together until she is older, not because of him, but because her father forbade it.

"Now to the specific recollection. I was ten years old,..." "I can calculate that he was only twenty-five. But I’m not certain." "He lingered. “Goodbye, little Lydia,” he said. He then spoke under his breath to my Father, and I heard my Father say: “You are out of your mind!”My Father turned his back on Marius, who gave me a sad smile and disappeared. “What did he mean? What happened?” I asked my Father. “What’s the matter?” “Listen, Lydia,” said my Father. “Have you in all your readings come across the word ‘betrothed’?” “Yes, Father, of course.” “Well, that sort of wanderer and dreamer likes nothing better than to betroth himself to a young girl of ten because it means she is not old enough to marry and he has years of freedom, without the censure of the Emperor. They do it all the time.”" Pandora: Chapter 2

"Ephebophilia is the sexual interest by adults in pubescent mid-to-late adolescents typically ages 15-19."

Lastly, Bianca is kind of an exception. He meets her when she is 19ish (Blood and Gold: Chapter 18) and, by most cultural standards (then and now), technically an adult. He held a fascination with Bianca much like Amadeo, but she was too old and tainted for him to groom. Sounds harsh and unbelievable doesn't it? This is what Marius had to say

Note: Marius is talking out loud to himself here. He's speaking as if he is talking to Amadeo, but Amadeo is not there.

"Except she was already a young woman when I came upon her," I responded, "educated and forced into life, indeed a murderess; yes, indeed, a murderess, a child woman guilty of dreadful crimes. And you, you were a helpless child. I could mold you and change you, all of which I've done." Blood and Gold: Chapter 19

Sounds like a lot of those toxic podcasters doesn't he? You need someone pure, young, and naïve to turn into who you want. Because it's not about loving them for who they are, it's about creating a companion to serve your needs. If they ever stop meeting those needs, you can throw them away and try again. -_- That's a convo for another day.

Above: Painting by Sandro Botticelli whose artwork was the inspiration for Armand's appearance.

On to the claim of Narcissism: Marius has a severe need to be needed. This theme is present throughout his relationships, romantic and otherwise.

Saying Marius wants to be worshiped may be a bit much, but I'm gonna say it anyway. At first, I shied away from calling him a narcissist at all (because it's such a buzzword now), but when really thinking about it...yeh, he's pretentious and narcissistic. The things he does, even the (seemingly) altruistic things, always lead back to Marius the heart of it. He loves to be seen as the grand benefactor. We see this in the parties he threw in Rome, with the boys in Venice, with Pandora, Amadeo, Bianca, and even Lestat. That man is an egoist with the need to be in control.

Above: Marius and Lestat- Queen of The Damned (2002)

Looking at his relationships, most of them have required the other to be submissive or subservient to him. He needs the power dynamic of teacher/student, master/slave, father/child etc. If he doesn't have it, fights start and relationships fall apart. Once he feels truly challenged (not taunted or teased as Amadeo would do) he runs or abandons. The moment Pandora became his equal, he abandoned her. The moment Bianca scolded him, he told her to pack her things.

Yes he sees it, and he's totally jelly! Above: Akasha talking to the ancient ones: Queen Of The Damned (2002)

I mean she (calmly) told him about himself ONCE (which he agreed with but couldn't handle hearing from someone else), so he abandons her in a random castle! Of course, he didn't leave her for long, he always feels regret and wants to reconcile these relationships, and it's always too late.

Even among other vampires such as Mael and Avicus, Marius still played the role of the superior, the all-knowing, the hero. This is where we see more of his pretentious side. Truthfully, Marius didn't know too much more than either of them, but you wouldn't know it by talking to him. When he figures something out, he's fit to burst at being the exposition piece for everyone.

You know what? That's really not fair.

Reading that back I want to give Marius some grace. Given the times, his mortal life, and subsequent thrusting into vampirism, some of what I call "pretentious" is more so him just trying to help. People have always expected a lot from Marius, so it is only natural that he begins to give excessively. He loves to teach and that's not a bad thing. I mean the man was a chronicler and scholar before his "death"! To say that he played the role of the superior, the all-knowing, the hero isn't totally untrue, but it is slightly misleading. TO BE FAIR...people treat him that way. Mael and Avicus come to Marius for help. They ask him questions, and he tries to help and do what's right. They looked to him on their own, not because Marius wanted them to. Okay, I've convinced myself, I recant "pretentious." I think I just wanted a third word and it really doesn't fit.

Above: Marius- Queen of The Damned (2002)

On that note however, don't tell this man ANYTHING you don't want errbody else knowing! He's a bad secret keeper! If I had a dollar every time a Marius secret got out...I could get lunch at least! Like bruh, shush! Loose lips sink ships and you've sunken an entire fleet!

Back to him needing to be the superior in his relationships. An exception is The Scared Parents. He does bow down and worship them, but it's still consistent with what I've observed, that it comes back to him. When breaking down the (silent) relationship with Akasha and Enkil, I noted 2 main reasons for his dedication-

1. He doesn't want to die.

"How could I continue to harbor these beings who might menace it? But I didn't want to die. No, I have never really wanted to die. And so I did not destroy the King and the Queen. I continued to care for them, to shower them with the symbols of worship." Blood and Gold: Chapter 34

2. Say it with me now, HE NEEDS TO BE NEEDED.

In his mind, they need him, but realistically they don't. My mans gave himself the ultimate task. After Akasha asked for help he could have holed them up somewhere and f**ked off, maybe checking on them every 50 to 100 years (In fact, he does do that unintentionally at one point). I'm so sure they would have been alright, and if not they certainly could have called out to someone themselves.

Actually, if not for Marius and his need to be "useful", Akasha may have never woken and gone on her rampage. Think about it, he's the one who woke Lestat, he's the one who compulsively told him everything and took him to Akasha, and he bought her the TV that allowed her to hear Lestat's music and develop (some of) her extremist views.

Above: Lestat before and after drinking Akasha's blood for the first time-Queen of The Damned (2002)

TO BE FAIR (again), she is connected to every vampire, so even without Marius she could still see all and may have decided to get up at any time for any reason. However, in this reality, it's Marius and his friggin need to be needed.

Taking a closer look at his dysfunctional relationships, This is him talking to Pandora. Mind you, he hasn't seen her in more than a hundred years (because he took the parents and ghosted her after a fight). She created a fledgling (Arjun) to be her companion and protect her. He serves her with love and admiration, but upon first hearing of him, Marius IMMEDIATELY assumes she is being controlled and is a slave to him (projection much?). This is part of their conversation upon reuniting. He's horribly dismissive, controlling, and narcissistic.

(Pandora states) "Oh, you are so angry and it is so like our quarrels of old." "No, it's not!" I declared. "It's nothing like our quarrels of old because it's about nothing. Now I'm taking you from here. I'm taking you to my palace, and I shall deal with Arjun as best as I can afterwards." "You can't do such a thing," she said sharply. "Marius, I've been with him for hundreds of years. You think you can simply come between us?" "I want you, Pandora. I shall settle for nothing else. And if such a time comes that you want to leave me - ." "Yes, and what if it does come," she said angrily, "then what shall I do when there is no Arjun on account of you!" "....As soon as I had her in the carriage, I kissed her wantonly as mortals kiss and wanted to sink my teeth into her throat but she forbade it. "Let me have that intimacy!" I begged. "For the love of Heaven, Pandora, it's Marius who is speaking to you. Listen to me. Let us share blood and blood." "Oh, you are so violent in your temper," she said in a whisper. "Can't you guess what reduces me to this abominable weakness?" "No," I said. "I know only I love you with my whole heart. I've found you again and I'll do anything to keep you." Her eyes remained fixed on the palace. "Even give up the female companion," she asked, "who is inside this very house waiting for you?" I didn't answer. "I saw her at the ball," she said, her eyes glassy, her voice quivering. "I saw her and knew what she was, quite powerful, quite graceful. I never guessed she was your lover. But now I know that she is. I can hear her inside. I can hear her hopes and dreams and how they are pinned on you." "Stop it, Pandora. It isn't necessary that I give her up. We are not mortals! We can live together."

Oh! so SHE has to give up her fledgling and protector for you, but "it isn't necessary" for YOU to give up Bianca?

He does eventually say that he'll leave Bianca for her, but Pandora stands strong saying Marius hasn't changed and leaves with Arjun. Then Bianca (who heard everything) is like..."sooo you lied about the reason we came here AND you were ready to throw me away for the second time? But now that she's dumped you you'll stay right? NAH son!!"

Moving back to Marius' relationship with Amadeo. When I read his account of things vs. Marius', it made me hurt for Amadeo. Knowing that he was saved to be further used. To know he gave his complete and total love, devotion, and life to someone who merely saw him as a clean slate. To realize that Marius' obsession with Botticelli and painting played a role as well. Marius saw Amadeo's paintings in his mind before buying him and wished to have that talent at his disposal. To possess it the way he could not do with Botticelli.

"He had once been a painter, this bruised and young one. The face of Christ had been his work. He had once mixed the egg yolk and the pigment just as I mixed them." Blood and Gold:Chapter 18

"...he knew the magic of the color spread upon the wooden panel. He would remember; he would remember a time when he cared about nothing else." Blood and Gold:Chapter 19

"As we sat down to supper, Riccardo explained that Amadeo could paint nothing. Indeed, Amadeo was afraid of the brushes and the pots of paint" Blood and Gold:Chapter 19

Marius tried to get Amadeo to remember, even though it was clear he couldn't and (to an extent) didn't want to remember. But that wasn't what Marius wanted, so he persisted despite that, pushing Amadeo again and again.

"Meanwhile, Amadeo recovered nothing of his memory. He could not paint, he could not touch the brushes. It was as if the colors, when raw, burnt his eyes." Blood and Gold:Chapter 19

and again

"But I want you to remember," I said to him suddenly in his Russian tongue. It was a shock to him but he didn't understand it. "Amadeo," I said in the Venetian dialect, "think back to the time before you came here. Think back, Amadeo. What was your world then?" A flush came to his cheeks. He was miserable. It was as if I'd beaten him. Riccardo reached out for him with a consoling hand. "Master," he said, "it's too hard for him." Blood and Gold:Chapter 19

and again

"Bundling him like a child I took him into a Venetian church to see the wondrous paintings of robust and natural figures that had been done in these last few years. But I could see now it was hopeless. His mind would never be opened, never truly changed. I brought him home, and laid him down on the pillows once more." Blood and Gold:Chapter 19

"His had been a punitive world of austere devotion. Painting for him had been joyless. And indeed all of life itself in far-away Russia had been so rigorous that he could not give himself over to the pleasure that awaited him now at every turn. Beset by the memories, yet not understanding them, he was moving slowly towards death." -Blood and Gold:Chapter 19

then he finally admits it...to himself anyway.

Note: this is a party of the quote before. Marius is talking out loud to himself. Amadeo is not there.

"It's true, I thought you were a painter," I continued, "that you had the gift for painting, and I know that it's still in you, and that did sway me, too." Blood and Gold:Chapter 19

It opens another conversation about the effects of grooming and fetishization on its victims, but I won't get into it here.

Now, I understand the relationship between Amadeo and Marius changed over time. While Marius' initial intentions were self-centeredness shrouded in mercy, he did grow to love Amadeo. So much so that he regularly fought with and frustrated himself over whether to turn him at all, knowing what hardships would lie ahead and not wanting to subject him to it...Nah! I can't give him a break here! I tried, but abuse is abuse regardless of whether it takes place in a shady cell below a brothel or in a beautiful palazzo while showering the victim with gifts. What was done was done, and it matters not whether Marius did things out of love or if Amadeo loved him. A willing victim is still a victim and I HATE it when people discount abuse and trauma simply because of its setting or the victim's participation. Don't even get me started Marius sending Amadeo to the brothels...

Amadeo/Armand never recovers from his abuse/trauma, that much is clear. Not the abuse he suffered in his homeland, with Marius, or with Santino's coven, and no one would expect him to. He went through a lot in his mortal life and he hadn't even reached 18 (in the books).

I intended to go on about Marius and how societal expectations and his mortal life play into his vampiric one, but this post is long enough and I KNOW it's going to cause me to jump to several other topics soooo to conclude...Marius got issues ya'll!

That's going to do it for this post. Marius is definitely one of the more controversial Vampires in the VC. At least of the ones who have biographies. I'd say Armand is a close second. Honesty, I might even put Armand above Marius if not for the grooming and child love. But again, that's a post for another day.

I you read this far, YOU THE GOAT!!

[believesthings]

How Can Anybody Stay The Same? // Ted Lasso x Reader

A/N: A story inspired by the JP Saxe song “Changed”

Warnings: a fuck ton of angst. A lot of mentions of Michelle

Ted had been trying to get used to calling London “home.” He rolled it around in his head, rolled it around on his tongue. The way he figured it, it’s like a new pair of boots. He needs to break it in. And he’s getting there, he can feel it a little more with the passing days.

His story has always been that he took this job as a way to give Michelle the space she needs; and of course, to a degree, it is. But whether he admits it, consciously or subconsciously, he’s also here for himself.

He’s spent so much of his life wearing different hats: Father, Husband, Coach. Each of which he takes great pride in, but in the shuffle of all of it he worries that he’s lost sight of just being Ted. He’s been learning the parts of himself that he never got to know. Being married to your high school love, growing up as a unit, it’s… different. He meant when he said that wouldn’t change a single moment of it. Of course, he did. It was a wonderful marriage and brought him Henry, the one part of his pedigree he could never find fault in. But since he and Michelle were in tandem for so long, it greatly affected his decision making. Every time he had to make a choice, she was his first priority. Number one, always. Then Henry. Then, and only then, after all the facets of their feelings were considered, he would consider himself.

With London, came a change in titles: Father, of course. Coach (although a different kind of football that he was still adjusting to) and now, freshly added to the list: ex husband. That was a pair of shoes that he never thought would fit. He thought he was good at it, it was all he had known for such a long time. Who was he when he wasn’t the husband of Michelle? That was part of what he came to London to know. While the title of husband fades, the focal point of Ted comes in sharper focus. Father, Coach, Friend, Tea Hater, possibly a functioning alcoholic, which is something that he really should stop and examine about himself one of these days but not now.

He’s growing into the shoes. And the word home is getting more comfortable on the tongue. The more he lets go, the more room he can make for himself.

Of course, this doesn’t all happen overnight. You gotta start somewhere. Ted was no exception. And lord, he started at rock fucking bottom.

When Ted first came to London, he could always tell if he was going to have a good day based on the temperature of his hands.

The two most common phrases about the weather that he heard growing up were, “it’s not the heat that gets you, it’s the humidity” and “it wouldn’t actually be that cold if it wasn’t for the wind.”

People told him that London wasn’t actually known for having super hot summers or frigid winters. One of the first interactions he had when he landed was a man shrugging his shoulders and saying “Mate, London is just London. All the time.”

Ted still wasn’t quite sure what that meant.

He figured the London equivalent was “it wouldn’t actually be that cold if it wasn’t so damp.” The rain often had a way of making it seem colder than it was. And it was a big adjustment for him when it came to trying to get over his wife.

“Aw. Heck.” Ted huffed, seeing his breath in front of his own face. It was early in the morning. He went to bed far too late and he awoke to snow blanketing the town. Now to top it off, he left his civics textbook in his car and he couldn’t seem to unlock it to get a hold of it.

“Um, excuse me?”

Ted jumped, looking up to see a blonde girl he had never seen before.

She looks at him expectedly before saying, “Is there a reason you’re trying to break into my vehicle? I can promise you, I don’t have anything interesting in there. Unless you’re looking for some loose change and some Sonic peppermints.”

“I’m sorry, you seem to be mistaken. I’m trying to get into my car. I left my textbook right there in the backseat.” He steps closer, peering into the window and finding… nothing. He looked back at this mystery girl like she had just performed a magic trick.

He looked around to find the parking lot full of cars, but they were the only two people in it, which seemed… odd. Maybe this was a dream. That had to be it, he was still in bed and he would wake up any minute.

The mystery girl pulled out her own set of keys and unlocked the car, reaching in to pull out a pair of gloves. He took a minute to examine her profile. Snow in her hair, cheeks flushed from the cold. She was beautiful. Ted couldn’t believe he’d never met her before.

“Come on now, you didn’t mention you had gloves in there. If I had known that, I wouldn’t have given up so quickly.” It wasn’t his best, but he was freezing, tired and still not entirely sure he wasn’t dreaming.

But, she laughed. And Ted thought it might have been the sweetest sound he’d ever heard.

“Well, I’d offer to share with you but I only have one pair so we’d both have one gloveless hand.”

Ted figured that wouldn’t be so bad. He thought about saying something about holding their gloveless hands together to stay warm but that seemed entirely too much for a girl whose name he still didn’t know, so he kept quiet.

“May I?” She was holding her hand out to him. Oh god, was she actually going to try to hold his hand? He found himself nodding, dazed. Even though he didn’t really know what he was agreeing to.

He tried to stifle the jolt he felt in his stomach at the feeling of her skin touching his. She grabbed his own car keys out his hand, pressing the car alarm button and Ted practically jumped 10 feet in the air.

He whipped his head around to see his own car, the exact same color, make and model as this mystery girl’s vehicle, two rows over, covered in snow. “Huh. I guess in all the lack of sleep last night, I forgot where I parked. I promise I’m not the type of guy that would normally go snoopin’ around a woman’s car.”

There was that damn laugh again. “I believe you. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I believe you. You have a very honest face.” She holds out her hand again, “I’m Michelle.”

Michelle. The mystery woman has a name.

“I’m Ted.” He holds out his own hand, freezing fingers meeting freezing fingers, clasping around each other.

“Nice to meet you.”

What the hell were the odds that they would be the only two in this freezing cold parking lot, both driving the same type of car, both trying to get into said cars at the exact same time?

“Yeah, you too.”

So yeah, when he comes to London, he still misses her, but only on the days when his hands are cold.

———

Denial. That was what he felt the first time that Michelle told him he had changed. If anything, he figured she had changed. She was the one who didn’t laugh at his jokes anymore. She was the one whose smile didn’t fully reach her eyes when they were together. She was one who let his hand fall out of her grasp when they were out in public. He wished he had changed. He would have given anything to change into someone that she would continue to love.

You’re not the man I love anymore, Ted.

So teach me, Michelle. Teach me how to be the man you love again. I’ll fucking do it, you know I will.

————

The night in Liverpool, after his panic attack, the denial bled into goddamn anger.

It wasn’t the first time he had a panic attack, but it had been a long time since it had happened. They became a pretty frequent occurrence for him after the passing of his dad. And Michelle, the old Michelle, the woman she used to be before “he changed” would help him come down from it. She would hold his hands and tell him stories to distract him. Reminding him of sweeter memories like on their first date when it turned out that the restaurant he was going to take her to was actually converted into a shoe store.

The angers cools to depression at the thought of all the parts of her that he’ll never get to know. But it flares up into anger again at the sight of the divorce papers in front of him.

She wasted no time sending over the divorce papers. Throwing his phone down on the table and pinching the bridge of his nose, he was fucking angry. She liked to tell him he changed all the time, and even if they were true, how could she expect someone to stay the way they were in high school? Nobody ever stays the same. People change. People grow. That’s part of life. A big part of it. You spend your youth learning how to become a person, and your older years learning how to become a good person.

He hates it because when he’s like this, he wants to talk to someone that knows him. He would have to explain all this to Rebecca or Keeley. He laughs bitterly into his whiskey. The one person that could help him through his divorce is the very person he’s divorcing from. The goddamn irony of it all.

He could call his mother, but he knows that’s going to open up a whole plethora of questions. She’ll want to know how Michelle is doing, what she’s been up to. “Gee honey, don’t you think there’s a chance you’ll get back together?” He can’t stomach that line of questioning right now.

And it’s not like he can just close her out of his life forever. They have a child together. A child that has his mother’s eyes. Which he also doesn’t want to think about.

Obviously, pain is an aspect of life. But god, right now, he wished there was someone, anyone else that knew him as well as Michelle did.

He really wanted it to be her. Until he realized that she didn’t want it to be him.

—————-

Ted was nervously playing with the glass in front of him, avoiding going back home.

He knew you would be there, waiting for him. Wanting an explanation that he didn’t want to give.

He kept going back and forth with himself, he knew you probably wouldn’t be mad but there was a difference between logically knowing something to be true and emotionally believing it.

On the other side of it all, Michelle has become something that he explains to his new love. Why he reacts the way does, Why he doesn’t have confidence in himself, why he sometimes can’t accept the love you are so easily willing to give.

He still has some habits that you’re helping him to break. Constantly reminding him that he’s not a burden, that his optimistic nature is a feature and not a bug of his personality.

There is no secret alchemy, relationships just take a lot of work, something he’s learning with you.

It’s still odd for him, to have someone work through the struggle rather than break down and leave.

And when he does get home, you’re there. Like you always are.

“You wanna talk about it?” You ask. Leaning against the doorframe.

He shrugs sheepishly but doesn’t actually say anything.

“It’s okay if you don’t, you know. We don’t always have to be talking.”

He nods and makes his way to the couch. His fingers tapping on the tops of his thighs.

You make your way over and sit beside him. Not touching him, not speaking, just sharing the space.

The argument that broke out between the two of you earlier is playing in your heads.

“You gotta let me in, Ted. Just a fucking little bit. I don’t understand what you want me to do. Whether you realize it or not, you’re punishing me for things that she did and that isn’t fair to me. I’m sorry that she hurt you, I am. I truly believe you didn’t deserve it. But, I don’t deserve it either.”

“I’m sorry, darlin’” Ted reaches his hand out to yours and you intertwine them together.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too-“

“No. There’s no need for you to be. Everything you said was true.”

“It’s just something we’re gonna have to work through together, honey.”

“Yeah.” He whispers, bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing your knuckles.

You cuddle into his side, “so what do you think, time for bed?”

“Heck yeah.”

You don’t let go of his hand, keeping your fingers intertwined. His hands aren’t cold anymore and he’s found something new in himself, a man that you can love. Openly and easily. And he didn’t have to change a damn thing about himself to make it happen.

[flickering-nightfall]

So, your Infinity Train crossover got me to watch the show, and... woah. Woah. I would love to know if you had any more ideas, blurbs, thoughts, anything about that crossover, because now I can't get enough of imagining the viciously murderous cat and accidentally-fratricidal robot on the train.

I'm glad you liked Infinity Train too! (and thank you!) More on the crossover... I gotta admit I haven't thought of much other than the initial "haha what if" idea. Maybe I can speculate though:

Spoilers ahead!

There were many hilarious and thoughtful takes on how Pebbles could possibly end up on the train, in the notes of the initial post. I joked that it'd just tear a hole through his structure, but there are more (and less) sane options than that.

Since we only see human passengers on the train, a lot of people would probably mistake Pebbles and Arti as denizens. Simon and Grace would probably not take to them having numbers well. I feel like they'd most likely think it was a trick, but it could shake up their perspective too.

Man humans look kind of similar to ancients maybe. That doesn't mean much to Arti - and I think humans look dissimilar enough from scavs to be spared by her wrath. But to Pebbles...

Also, iterators haven't communicated with another civilization-era sapient species in a quite a while probably. Some interesting stuff can come out of that.

How many migraines do you think Pebbles gets from trying to figure out what the hell is up with denizens? Or the train itself? I feel like he'd have an aneurysm if he had to interact with Alan Dracula. If he goes home and tries to tell the others what happened without any proof, they'd think he'd had a rot-induced fever dream.

Numbers are dependent on how close a passenger is to solving their problem. Arti, having already killed the scav chieftain, according to Rain World has hit the point of no return. So her body is completely wrapped up in numbers. But like Amelia, with enough time and determination it might be possible. The main problem is... Arti has to want to fix her problem first. The setup for her to do that is there. She's with Pebbles, so she has less of a reason to go off on a rampage unless she's being threatened. The lack of scavs wouldn't stop her from resorting to violence at this point, but the pure strangeness and unfamiliarity of her surroundings should at least baffle her into a different mental state.

I think in order to get an exit, Arti needs to make peace with herself. She must acknowledge what she has become, and to truly believe that she needs to change. It has little to do with the death of her children at that point. She needs to escape the self-perpetuating circle of violence.

Pebbles' number is much smaller (but still huge) because he's entrenched in rage and isolation and frustration on a massive timescale, but we see him eventually come to a resolution in Rivulet's campaign. How would the train define his problem though? It could be his anger at Moon and Suns, blaming them for his current state (even if Suns is partially at fault). It could be his tendency to close himself off, his refusal to talk to others or accept help. It could be his denial, believing he can handle and fix everything by himself. It could be his overall arrogance or ego. There's a lot of options there. Ultimately I think whatever brings him to think similarly to how he does in Rivulet's campaign would do the trick.

The sad thing is that Pebbles would probably be better off staying on the train too. I'm not sure if he'd be affected by the rot there, but he'd at least he could (literally) get out of his own head. And he has no choice but to touch grass interact with new people and situations. But to deny his exit would be to deny responsibility for what he's done. If he's really gotten better, that means he knows he can't run away anymore.

If Pebbles went to the train without Arti there's a chance he'd get killed or ghom'd two days into the trip. We are assuming his puppet is capable of walking for this AU, but also I do not think he knows how to walk. Good luck pink guy!

On the flipside. Pebbles could... probably take over the train even more than Amelia ever did, especially as a (bio)mechanical being himself. The only thing that could limit him are taboos maybe. Any iterator could do this, really. Lots of potential paths with that one.

Something something, One-One and iterators both solving people's big problems with varying amounts of success, and both engineering weird organisms...

...does a RW character that gets ghom'd return to the great cycle? Their soul gets devoured, or their life essence, it's not clear. I guess which one could determine what happens. But also they are in another universe where there is probably no cycle. Are ghoms a triple affirmative? Is crossdimensional travel? The latter wouldn't fit the "portable and generally applicable" part but still. This is a whole rabbit hole and a half, isn't it!

The train is dangerous and all, but that just makes Rain World characters a hilarious fit for it. Like this is just their daily life. Honestly I think their home world is more dangerous than the train, just in less wacky ways.

Lastly: I haven't even touched upon what introducing other characters could do for this narrative, or how they would react. So many possibilities!

If anyone wants to do more with this, please feel free!

[tater-tot-jr]

Yapping time! Spoilers for DRDT C2E14

So the entire episode was great, but there’s one part I’d like to talk about most. David’s monologue towards the end. Specifically the second half, where he gets away from his logical stuff and into the more interpersonal stuff. I’ll break it down line by line.

“All I want is for Teruko to distrust others.”

Okay we are starting off interesting. Now, due to David’s nature we can’t trust him to be honest. We cannot take this as explicit confirmation of any sort of goal. With that said, his goal appears to be fucking up the class trial in some manner. We don’t know his motive, but that goal seems consistent enough to work with. So let’s work with it. Teruko is literally one half of this classes helpful trial participants. Her and Charles are the entire brain of this class. Charles can be killed, he has a glaring flaw in a debilitating fear of blood, he’s easy enough to deal with when the time comes. Teruko is stupidly resilient. To everything. The one thing she obviously struggles with is her trust issues/paranoia. If you’re looking to get under her skin that’s where you gotta go. Saying this is a clear demonstration he intends to poke at Teruko emotionally, which is an interesting thing to admit out loud. If I had to guess, it’s because he’s trying to kill two birds with one stone and make the class start to distrust Teruko as well.

“That’s why I’m doing this, telling such obvious lies.”

This is him saying he’s lying about seeing the body, I think. He’s doubling down on inciting paranoia, in both Teruko and the class. It’s interesting he would say this out loud. He’s hyper focused on fucking with Teruko and it shows. If you take out the brain, the body goes as well. It’s certainly a strategy of all time.

“There is no other proof of Eden’s innocence.”

As far as we know, this is a true statement right now. Unless I’m unaware of something that was the biggest piece of evidence meant to clear her name, and he brought it into question.

“As long as there’s a possibility that the evidence is false, as long as there’s even the slightest reason to distrust others, then Teruko cannot trust Eden.”

Oof, he’s got her dead to rights. I don’t think there’s a good faith argument for him being wrong. It’s cool to see how much he understands the cast. It’s an interesting way to show how Teruko’s thoughts process works without betraying her guarded nature. Having a character so ready to pick at her weakness is a good writing choice, and I hope they keep David around for a time. Teruko is the least trusting character I’ve ever seen in any fangan game, granted I haven’t played them all but still. There’s a chance the story doesn’t have any sort of lesson, and we’re just gonna watch Teruko suffer. The idea that she can’t bring herself to trust if there’s even a 0.001% chance of something being false is such a good character flaw. She’s clearly terrified of risk, and she doesn’t know how to get rid of her paranoia, even though I think she wants to.

“Isn’t that right, Teruko?”

Ohohoho you smug piece of shit. You fucking dick. This is more proof he’s not just saying these things in an objective way. He’s just trying to hurt her, as far as we can assume.

“…”

Yeah she’s fucking rocked. Teruko really doesn’t take things lying down. Befitting of her backstory, she’s the type to struggle and fight back against anything she can. But here she has nothing to say. David has read her for filth and they both know it. Now that I think about it, this probably also plays on her fear of being vulnerable. What could possibly be more vulnerable than someone telling you your own exact thought process?

“It’s in your nature to distrust people.”

This is a more interesting statement than it appears at first glance. Specifically because he says it’s in her nature. To him, this isn’t a choice she’s making because of the killing game. It’s not circumstance that has pushed her into this. No, this is who she is, and this is who she’ll always be. Which is a horribly insulting thing to say, because it’s within most humans nature to trust each other somewhat, and it’s life circumstances that push them away from collaboration. He’s saying that Teruko is so fucked in the head that she’s fundamentally different from the standard human baseline.

“Everyone you know has already betrayed you. There’s no one in this world who won’t hurt you. Even the people you love will turn their backs on you in the end. You know that well enough, don’t you?”

…Jesus Christ. He really is just the devil on her shoulder. These are her worst thoughts said out loud and back to her. Do you think she considers someone dying on her and leaving her alone a betrayal? Is that a part of this? Him saying “even the people you love” is interesting, does she really even have anyone she loves in the cast? Or does she just tolerate them. He’s making grand, sweeping statements about her life potentially before the killing game and hitting the nail on the head every time. An impressive feat of manipulation and perceptiveness.

“So distrust in others. Because that’s the only way you know how to live.”

Ow. Ouch. Owie. Not only is this a banger way to end the monologue but it’s just so telling. Teruko doesn’t even say anything in response she just waits for Charles to change to subject. Also, is he even really wrong? She tried to afford people trust and then she got stabbed and everyone else blamed her. She’s definitely swung too far the other way, but it’s not like she was good at knowing how much trust to afford people. This life is really the only way she knows how to live. How things are now, she’ll suffer any other way. It’s such juicy character writing. Damned if you do damned if you don’t. David has definitely been watching Teruko’s behavior, and quite frankly he has her figured out. He’s perceived her, and she hates it. I think we all know Teruko is lonely, she deeply wants people around her. But between being a danger to them and all her trust issues she shuts herself away. David is doing everything he can to keep her as far away from forming meaningful connections as possible. He’s clearly got some sort of plan.

—

There’s also a few things I want to talk about that I didn’t have the ability to put under a spoken line, so I’ll yap down here.

Firstly, Teruko extending some “trust” to Eden doesn’t prove David wrong. If anything, it strengthens his argument. Looking at the actual content of Teruko and Eden’s back and forth, it’s barely a scrap of trust and it’s completely conditional. Teruko basically said “because you helped me last trial I will trust you enough to investigate you second” which is still incredible progress for her, but it’s nothing close to genuine trust. This is not to diminish the progress Teruko made in that scene, but it’s nothing close to countering David’s claims.

Secondly, THAT VOICE ACTING HELLO?!?? David’s VA has always been great, but combined with DRDTdev’s wonderful writing and sprite design/choices he really brought this scene to life. He was perfectly smug and condescending. He had a voice that really portrayed that “I’m 100% right about you and you can’t do anything about it” vibe. Just a total piece of shit. 10/10 would listen again.

[wickerfox]

HELLO YES ITS ME IM COPY PASTING THE THING HERE:

YOU JUST MADE THE CHILD IN ME BLOOM. THE QUESTION LIST (THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IM SEEING THIS AU BUT GOD FORBID):

× Who's Hoodie

× Is it in the same time setting as MH

× Who PLAYS AS ALEX

× Did it start the same way as a dumb school film project?

× From what I understood Scar takes the role of Tim, is bro a chainsmoker too LMFAO.

× Is Grian canonically gay too

× Would it be a wild correct guess that Amy is Lizzie and Alex is Joel since yk based from obvious plot points?

(before I start, placing this disclaimer here at the top since I have friends who don't frequent mcyt and might get confused, but when I talk abt this au I'm specifically talking abt the characters, not the content creators themselves. Anyway)

SO IM GONNA GO AHEAD AND SHARE WHOSE WHO FIRST

Jay- Grian, it made the most sense in my head, but I actually flip flopped on this so many times bc he also works so well as Tim or Alex, but at some point I went "wait it's an au, we can see how the story changes with Grian as the protag" so Grian's the protag now

Tim/Masky- Scar, I'm a transparent desert duo enjoyer and had a similar flip flop with him as I did Grian bc he'd also work as Jay but I was halfway through that drawing and had a similar thought process to the one i had abt Grian

Brian/Hoodie- Jimmy, I wanted to keep the cast focused to life series and evo members and he made the most sense to me lore wise, especially with the idea that in this au he was one of the ones with the earliest exposure to The Watcher (bc I love Canary Curse symbolism)

Alex- This one was the toughest choice bc no matter what a fav is going to loose it. Good thing this based on the Life Series! As much as I Love the idea of Joel and Lizzie as Alex and Amy, I actually went with Martyn. Again, the character is pretty involved with the Watcher Lore so it made the most sense as the character that is arguably most effected by it. (Although for a brief moment I considered Mumbo Jumbo bc,,, how fucking funny would that be)

Jessica- Jessica's gotta be Pearl right? It makes the most sense for it to be Pearl, I don't even need reasoning for this it makes sense

Amy- So who's Amy then? Scott actually! He's not Martyn's boyfriend in this, he's just a really good friend of his who was super involved in the production. Also like in mh, he's Pearl's roommate.

Sarah- Ren. Can't have a life series au featuring desert duo and not have some renchanting. Who else would be one of the leading actors in Martyn's short film?

Seth- Big B, again Evo connection made sense to me, and depending on your own personal theory on who the third person running the totheark account is, both Big B and Ren have interesting implications, even if both their rolls are p minor in this au

With the cast out of the way other questions !!!

It's set in a kind of nebulous time frame that's probably a little closer to present day, but it does still start with a student film project. When asked Why Martyn chose to use tapes he says something about wanting a more authentic feel to the film but in reality he just thought using tapes was a cool idea and doesn't want to admit that it's kind of impractical now.

In this au Scar doesn't smoke, but instead I like the headcannon that he just has boxes of candy/bubblegum cigarettes on him at all times. He'll pull one out, pause, and offer one to someone and when they say no he's just like "Okay, your loss" and watch as they get all confused when he starts unwrapping it asdfghkgkdjhfjsh

Is Grian gay in this au? Whose to say. (Real answer tho, I'm a notorious Jam shipper and while I'm not an active shipper when it comes to hermitcraft or the life series, I don't really mind it so the relationship is left kind of ambiguous)

But yes THANK YOU DO MUCH FOR GIVING ME A CHANCE TO TALK ABT THIS IVE BEEN RAMBLING TO MY FRIEND WHO DOESNT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING IVE BEEN SAYING FOR DAYS

[legallybrunettedotcom]

i want to know everything omg! what are your favorite characters on gossip girl? who do you hate the most? and what your opinion about this show in general. 💓

I really need to do a rewatch, I probably forgot a lot of plot points, but... Blair was always my favourite, my number one girl. I didn't like Serena, I think I just didn't like Blake Lively, and I hate to be that person that's like oh she always had bad vibes, I knew it from the start, but idk I just never got the hype around her and her acting was so bad. I think I end up disliking a lot of characters on any tv show just bc I hate the actor's acting choices, like why are you doing that face? that was so unneccessary lmao. I think I also maybe projected onto Blair a bit, like someone who is always trying their best, putting in 110% and someone else just swooping in and winning with zero effort, but... let's not unpack that here. Them together are obviously one of the best frenemies put on screen and I suppose both the tension and love that can exist in female friendships was portrayed really well imo so I don't really want to point fingers at either of them as like the root cause of the friendship problems, like one of them being the shitty friend and other the martyr. Like sometimes you are a shitty friend and sometimes your friend is the cunt, that's not the end of the world. I can see the same thing happening now that there's been a sort of SATC renaissance if i can call it that (even though SATC is a show that is consistently popular, like I don't think it has ever fallen off and then had some sort of resurgence but ygwim) where ppl are aggressively hating Carrie, like she was the devil. Plus I find it difficult to look at fiction through real life eyes, like asking why would this person do this? well they did it bc this is a show and we need an inciting incident to move the plot forward yk?

Blair and Chuck were made for each other, I loved their dynamic. With that said, Chuck is obviously not a good guy. I think at the time, as a kid, some things flew over my head, but looking back he is scary and creepy and you'd feel unsafe in his presence. I suppose he was entertaining, like you got this 15, 16 year old kid talking about stock exchange and dressing like Hugh Hefner, it kinda is funny. Even though I was rooting for Chair (was that their ship name I can't remember) endgame, I did actually enjoy Blair and Dan together, I think it was a cute moment and they worked well together. I don't think their relationship was for shock value, they actually had kind of a proper enemies to friends to lovers arc. I liked Dan, but also looking back... kind of a creep as well, his obsession with Serena was weird and the reveal of him as GG was disappointing. I gotta admit I never watched the show with anticipation of GG being revealed, I personally was like ok if it happens, happens, if it doesn't, fine. I never was interested in looking for clues on who GG might be. I think the show would've been fine ending without that reveal tbh. Definitely one of the more underwhelming and disappointing show finales out there.

I loved Jenny, I loved Juliet, I think she was the best antagonist. I kinda didn't care about Nate that much. I loved that the show delved into the life and drama of the parents as well, sometimes more entertaining than teenage lives. Honestly, can't say I hated anyone, which... funny considering I opened this with a politer version of calling Serena a bitch lmao. But despite GG being looked at as a silly teen show, I think all these characters were pretty complex and no one was really entirely good or entirely bad. I think what carried that show was great costumes, great set design and charismatic actors. I actually read some of the books and yk they're fine, can't remember much of the details, but I think actors made it much more than it is on paper, which also I feel is a sign of times. Like not to lump these actors with actual movie stars of the past, but we can definitely see an actor is not a star anymore, they're a product. The show had a lot of plot holes, but... idk I can't say I'm intense abt plot holes unless it's truly insanely dumb and demeans the audience.

I don't know if you've checked out the reboot, I watched like first half of first season and it wasn't good. They tried to fix a lot of problems of the original, especially in matters of diversity and class consciousness, but the problem with a lot of "socially conscious" media nowadays is that their writing ends up consisting of slogans instead of yk actually good writing and dialogue. The original was quite scandalous for its time, like I've seen ppl say their parents wouldn't let them watch it. It was like SATC for teenagers. The reboot didn't have that edge, but I also don't think this is a uniquely GG problem, I think it's just the times. Television doesn't connect us anymore. Which I know is ironic saying this on Tumblr, on a fandom site, in an era where there are so many streaming platforms producing many many many tv shows and programmes and it all being actually more profitable than films, BUT you can't tell me our relationship to TV is the same as it was 20, 30, 40 etc years ago, or even just 10 years ago.

But yeah, all in all, I love the show, I love the fashion, I love the bitchiness and I think it came at the right moment in my life. If you want to share your own opinions feel free to do so, my inbox is always open. Like I said, haven't seen it in a long time, so my memory isn't super fresh, but I think I'm due for a rewatch. <3

[todomitoukei]

bruh imagine being a deku stan after reading that ending? you spent a whole decade waiting for your favorite character to be the number one hero (from what i remember) by faithfully reading the manga and watching the anime only to be slapped in the face with the reveal that deku is quirkless (again) and he’s a teacher. i would YEET myself if i were them 😭😭

Also true. To be fair, people have been saying for a long time that he should be quirkless, although I suppose that was more in terms of he should've stayed quirkless from the beginning rather than Hori going for the most ableist take of yeah actually, he can't be a hero unless he has a quirk. In a way, he sent that message twice now! Interesting choice, I gotta admit.

I also love that the story kept pushing the idea of class 1A being a sort of found family where "no one gets left behind" only for us to be told Deku hadn't seen any of them since graduating.

Don't get me wrong, it's realistic for people to go their separate ways after graduating from school and slowly losing touch with one another. But in the context of the story and with the story telling us all the way to the end that the students are tight and stick together no matter what that was another interesting choice Hori made, especially after having Deku lose his quirk.

I wonder if he tried to see how many awful messages he could possibly send with a single story, otherwise I have no explanation for any of this.

[coal15]

My current theories re: Buddie vs Tevan after 7x10 and which ship is "obviously winning" . . . while I would like something definitive and rock solid, I think, because tv shows LOVE to do this, it will depend on which set of shipper goggles you're wearing.

Ex: Buck spends the bulk of the episode supporting Eddie through his crisis, but ends the episode still all cozy with Tommy:

Buddie fans reaction: He could have cared less about Tommy for most of the episode, it was all about his relationship with Eddie and Christopher. He will always ditch Tommy for Eddie because they're in love and s8 will be about them realizing and admitting their feelings! Buddie obvious endgame!

Tevan fans reaction: What kind of person wouldn't drop everything to help their family of 6 years thru a massive crisis?! And Buck was still all heart-eyes at Tommy, even if their scenes were brief. Nothing hinted at a break up. They're fine and will be further developed/deepened in s8 when we have a full 18 episodes to work with. Tevan obvious endgame!

Ahem. I guess we'll see where my opinion falls after the end credits roll (and also reading interviews over the next few days)

Meanwhile, some stray theories I've seen floating around:

Tommy getting all butthurt or pissed about Eddie's stuff taking up most of Buck's attention, which I guess is possible but I highly doubt it. He's an adult and probably realizes Eddie simply needs more of Bucks attention atm. And as a boyfriend(?) of a few months(?) he has no right to expect first priority status in that situation. I'll be surprised if this is what happens.

There's also the "Tommy flat out tells Buck he has romantic feelings for Eddie" theory. Then there's "either Buck, Eddie, or both realize their romantic feelings, this made clear though flim/acting/soundtrack choices. But nothing is said out loud so Buck does still end the season dating Tommy. Doomed but still together. Which would annoy me like crazy, but hey. TV. Sometimes it's a hellscape out here.

As far as Eddie feeling isolated I've seen "Buck tells Eddie I'm sorry but this is something I can't fix for you, only you can figure yourself out," I've seen "Eddie realizes he's in love with Buck but can't say anything because he thinks Buck is happy with Tommy and doesn't want to ruin that, so he withdraws instead" and I've seen "given the religious motif in Eddie's storyline in s7 and the fact that his worst decisions almost always revolve around trying to find the right woman cuz that's what he's 'supposed to do,' he wonders if maybe that's not the life he's meant for. He turns to God in his isolation and wonders if perhaps he's meant for the clergy." (I gotta admit it would be interesting to see Eddie become a Firehouse Chaplain)

When asked about Eddie's s8 storyline Ryan said something about him 'adjusting to a whole new lifestyle' (or something to that effect) which could easily be a gay realization and coming out arc (which would most likely but not necessarily mean buddie endgame). Or, if he has decided to join the clergy, wildly transforming his relationship with God and perception of his role in society. Both options are pretty drastic, interesting changes. The 'gay realization' thing wouldn't be such a huge change if Eddie came from a different history/background. Coming out would be harder and more traumatic for him than it was for Buck, who pretty much just had to incorporate an awareness of liking guys into his perception of self, then life went on.

I can see this season ending a lot of different ways for Eddie, Buck, and Tommy, both as individuals and parts of a ship. (also, totally unrelated to buddie or tevan I can't wait to find out what this season's big cliffhanger is going to be. Is it about Henren? Madney? Bathena? Any of the individual characters? A new huge disaster?) **pins and needles**

[therealeagal]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard

Just finished.

I quite enjoyed it, although I wish there was more stuff to connect it to previous games. The identity of Divine Victoria for example. Red lyrium is barely a thing at all in this game. And what happened to the crew after Inquisition? Either Cassandra, Leliana or Vivienne - we don't know who - became Divine Victoria.

Dorian shows up here and there, and Harding and Varric are on the new crew. And of course Solas is hanging around, being terrible.

None one else gets more than a few get passing mentions, if even that and nothing about what they're actually doing. Helping the Inquisitor, presumably. I don't think Vivienne or The Iron Bull or Blackwall or Cullen even get mentioned at all. Poor Cullen.

Anyway, for a lark, let's see how Veilguard stands against Inquisition and Numero Dos. I never finished Origins. I meant to, but you know how that goes. Something came up, then something else, then something else. And by the time you've got free time you've completely forgotten about its entire existence until you're writing a tumblr post about its third sequel.

Oh well. Que sera sera.

=========

As to combat, Inquisition's was better. I got sick of Veilguard's combat after only a few hours. Switched down to the lowest difficulty and have no great interest in turning it back up again.

----

Inquisition's story was more interesting. Just felt like it had more oomph. Maybe it picks up again in the last ten minutes or some shit. Idunno.

-----

Music. Didn't even notice the music half the time. I guess put Inquisition down for better music.

-----

Now the important part. As to characters, my Inquisitor was much more charming than my Rook to my mind. Elf and Dwarf alike. Never played a human Inky. Or a Qunari Inky for that matter.

My Dwarf Inquisitor was much more handsome (at least in the Inquisition art style) than my Dwarf Rook, but I will admit that I think my Elf Rook is better looking than my Elf Inquisitor, in both art styles. Elf Rook has a better ass than Elf Inky.

Don't really have any advisors like Leliana, Josephine and Cullen in this game. All we've got is Solas. And Solas is terrible. And I guess Varric. But he mostly just hangs out in bed all day. I can't blame him for wanting to sit this one out. He's already been through two catastrophes and is getting too old for this shit. Gotta let the new kid lead the troops.

As far as the companions go:

Resident Dwarf rogue. While Harding, a recurring secondary character from Inquisition, is no Varric, she is a good egg and she's a good choice if your party is in need of a rogue. She was in my team for the final battle, actually. Also her side-story is easily the most interesting and probably the most connected to DA lore. 10/10. The goodest of good beans and certified best girl.

A snarky and fashionable female Tevinter mage who fights the bad guys and doesn't afraid of anything, Neve is like a cross between Dorian and Vivienne, and the whole is greater than the sum of her parts. None of Vivienne's characteristic haughtiness and none of Dorian's unfortunate defense of slavery as an institution. Yeesh. Anyway, 10/10 for Neve. No notes.

Bellara, a elf mage and an archer. She's kinda like a cross between Solas and Sera, except that Solas is terrible and Bellara isn't terrible. Bellara is charming and friendly and not terrible. 10/10. No notes.

Lucanis... Cole had a hat. Lucanis doesn't have a hat. Eh. He's a good bean, but honestly, Lucanis is probably the least interesting among the cast. Well that's not to say I dislike him. I just don't find him as interesting as the others.

Davrin>Blackwall. All day every day. Not even a contest. Even if you ignore Blackwall's sordid past. Even if you ignore the fact that Davrin is actually a Grey Warden while Blackwall is a faker. He just doesn't hold a candle to Davrin. Sorry, Blackwall stans. 10/10. Best boy.

Emmrich Volkarin. Charming fellow, I can find no faults in him. He's very interesting. He's a Mortallitasi. I wonder if he knows any Pentaghasts? An all-around good bean.

Taash. They alright. The Iron Bull had more joie de vivre. But Taash is a good bean. Everyone's a good bean. Everyone but Solas. Solas is terrible. Plus, Isabella vouches for them, so they've got cred. I would trust no one else to kill a giant robot. Bull never killed a giant robot. So Taash is one up on Bull in that regard. 10/10. Best non-binary party member. Oh yeah, Taash is non-binary by the way. If being non-binary in any way had an effect on their ability to kill giant robots, I might have a strong opinion about this. Failing such an effect, I have no strong opinion.

Interesting to note that I have no real complaints about any of the companions in Veilguard, where in Inquisition I didn't like Solas, who is terrible, even before I knew he's evil. Didn't much care for Sera. Blackwall, he was just kinda there honestly. Only ever brought him along to do his sidequest. Vivienne I loved but she was admittedly kind of an asshole.

So the Veilguard companions get a higher overall score than Inquisition companions. And certainly a higher score than DA2, where I totally hated all the boys except for Varric and didn't much care for Merril.

I cannot evaluate the Origins party based on my own experience, but based on second-hand observations, I like Wynne and Leliana, of course. Shale's curmudgeonliness amuses me. And of course the dog.

The rest of the team I am either indifferent to or actually hate. I shall leave you to ponder who is whom.

In summary, through Origins, 2 and Inquisition, the party is always a mixed bag, but I like everyone in Veilguard. Everyone but Solas. Solas is terrible. But he doesn't count, since he's not actually a party member in Veilguard. On account of being terrible.

P.S. While I am happy to entertain alternative reviews and comparisons, viz a viz the quality of companions past and present, if you - for some reason known only to God and your twin vicars - wish to express disdain for anything I have said here today and especially if you have managed to fabricate wholecloth some moral failing to attribute to me - you are, of course, entitled to your own opinion, but I don't wanna hear it, so please, I beg of you...

DO NOT WIGGLE YOUR FACE TO ME, MONARCH OF REFUSE AND THIEF OF MOONBEAMS!

Please and thank you. :)