#also you can't say it's not in character if one's mind is overwhelmed by outside input based on the floffis

[mafia-moshie]

Squeeze the Lemon

[[ this is a bit of a graphic depiction check the tags]]

They tilted their head and shifted, considering running away when one of the hands snapped out and graped them starting to squeeze.

Lemon turned to face the new figure who entered the room then started to approach them cautiously as if trying not to scare them away

In the excitement to hold a floffis the person misjudged the force needed. lemon grazed a sharp object as they were shoved back, causing the floffis to "bleed" a shimmering almost glowing yellow liquid onto the person's hand.

Lemon struggled against the hand grasping them firmly, slowly increasing its pressure. Perhaps it was innocent at first, but now a joyous Hysteria overtook the person as he watched the creature struggle and make panicked squeaks beneath his grip.

Why... why was he happy? This shouldn't make him happy should it? He only wanted to squish a floffis and this one

It was fluffy, adorable... Helpless...

It was at his mercy...

As his mind raced to understand where the happiness and thoughts were coming from, he couldn't help but squeeze tighter.

The feeling of a life struggling against his will and losing was near intoxicating, the floffis...so Fluffy...so Soft...

So soft that didn't seem possible, was the floffis even fully solid? How easily could it bend?

He twisted his hands

The body followed his motion causing more of it's "blood" to pour out onto his hands and arms

The squeaking stopped.

Fascinating ... A Cloud floffis's consistency was reminiscent of clay

He had never tried sculpting or pottery before but, a bubbling euphoria was now overriding his senses washed away any doubts in his mind of the quality, or the ethical behavior of his actions would result in.

He started to twist the body yet it seemed to resist or was his grip too loose? There was quite a bit of "blood" coating the fur of the floffis and his hands...

That, "Blood" was yellow... why was it yellow?

Examining the substance he felt a wave of joy once again, of childlike joy

the floffis now all but forgotten fell to floor as he stared fascinated at his hands he wanted...

He wanted to taste it

Raising one hand covered in the blood to his face he started to open his mouth, but a dark spiky red tail wrapped around his wrist and forced his hand away.

Before he could recover Razbur wrapped the rest of its tail around his body pulling him into a vision of one of his past nightmares

Taking an almost sigh of relief Razbur then looked over to lemon who crumpled on the floor but managed to meet Razburs worried gaze

They tried to chitter but shuddered and seemed to deflate slightly, Razbur squawked at them to stop

It glanced between lemon and the person trying to decide what to do, it would be too dangerous to let go but lemon needed help...

Thinking carefully Razbur called over a dream floffis to care for lemon, then it walked out of the room and started down the hall, dragging Oni behind...

[milksuu]

can I get some headcannons based on Heartsteal being becoming fathers? Like how they were during the time their s/o was pregnant. :3c

Maybe a bonus on whether the child was planned or not.

❥ prompt: v!heartsteel expecting father headcanons with reader ❥ content/warnings: suggestive themes, foul language, pregnancy and all things related, baby genders mentioned ❥ characters/pairings: Heartsteel! (aphelios, ezreal, kayn) x pregnant!reader an;; forgive me, i am too sleepy tired to write for all the boys atm. ;w; fml my hc's for sett would make me fold errr maybe later

░꒱♡‿ִ₊˚→ APHELIOS

When you break the news, Aphelios forgets he primarily uses sign language to speak. To your surprise, and to his own, he uses broken words and barely audible sounds. Almost like a child learning to talk again. You have to help him by taking his hands, and guiding him to use them instead of straining his vocal cords.

'Are...are you sure?'

At first, it's difficult to process all the emotions. Happiness. Fear. Excitement. Anxiety. Love. Overwhelmed, he presses your hands against his face, hiding his unraveling expressions. Afer a beat, he chokes up. His hands squeezes yours, deepening your touch. And within moments, you're wrapped in his arms. And he presses as much of you into himself as he can. Holding you so close to his heart, you feel it pound against your cheek. As if to say; 'is it really okay for me to be this happy?'

To any outsider looking in, Aphelios seems disconnected and unenthusiastic about the whole situation. A plus-one wasn't planned, after all. When anyone asks about you and the baby, he replies with a simple 'Fine. Thanks.' And promptly diverts the subject back to work or anything else. But on the inside, the poor man is suffering. Constantly worrying about you and the babies well-being. In reality, he's too afraid to indulge in his own happiness and share it with others. Fearing the moment he does, it'll all shatter like glass in front of him. And he won't be strong enough to mend the pieces.

It's no surprise that his new chronic obsession consist of only making sure you and the growing baby are safe. He texts every hour, on the hour. Makes frequent video calls. And installs motion sensor cameras around the house, especially in places you could easily fall. And no, he doesn't mind watching you fold laundry or wash dishes for an hour while on a face call. So long as he can see you smiling and healthy, that's all he needs to assure him when he's not physically with you.

He's also pulling all nighters until his bottom eyelids are rimmed red. Reading hundreds upon hundreds of articles, forum posts, and online material on how to be a 'Good Father'—especially one who can't speak. Jotting down everything he can in his notebook, bleeding pen after pen dry from ink. There's plenty of times you have to wake up in the middle of the night and convince him back to bed. But only after reassuring him a thousands times how great of a father he'll be.

When the baby bump begins to show, Aphelios presses his ears against your stomach. Listening to the life you carry inside you. The amniotic sounds ease his intrusive thoughts, and lulls him to sleep; he always imagines he's taking a nap right beside the baby. Plus, he loves getting the small bit of attention from you as you run your fingers through his hair. A moment of selfishness he can't help but relish all for himself.

As for sex...well, he's not always on board with the idea. As much as he craves to be inside you everyday, especially when your body looks so heavenly full, he just doesn't want to risk anything. Especially in your later months. Last thing he wants to do is induce an early labor. But he's more than willing to devote his hands and mouth to satisfy every inch of you that he can. Worshipping you with adoring kisses and soft touches from head to toe. He's happy to please you, and doesn't expect anything in return in your state. (Of course, you do anyway.)

Familial genetics is one heck of a thing. Aphelio's eyes are blown wide at an image screen that shows two babies growing side-by-side. When it's conclusive you'd be having identical twin boys, he almost collapses in front of the ultrasound technician. So not one—but two—surprise gifts waited for him at the end of the third-trimester. And if they would be anything like him, their house would be a pranking death trap to all who entered. No one would be safe, except for mom.

░꒱♡‿ִ₊˚→ EZREAL

When you show Ezreal your pregnancy result, he looks at it with complete shock. He's locked in silence, which is never a good thing for someone as talkative as him. You almost have second thoughts about revealing the news until he bounces to you and gathers you in his arms. Eyes brimming with tears of absolute joy.

"No way—No way! Are you telling me I'm going to be a dad? Babe, for real. Is that what these two lines mean? Are you kidding me? This is the happiest freakin' day of my life!"

Ezreal has always been a fan of surprises, and this big news was no exception. Everywhere he went, no matter the conversation, he'd just casually state he was becoming a father. Didn't matter the person or group setting. Family. Friends. The neighbor; his neighbor next to him. The young teen delivering packages to his door. The grandmother and her toy-poodle waiting in line at the convenience store. If anyone was around him, he was boasting about you and the now expected bundle of joy.

Ezreal tries his bestest to help you around the house. He's never been great at chores, but he's a happy little helper eager to listen and please. You tell him exactly what you need from him, and he'll do it with a smile on his face. Anything that keeps your stress levels low, he wants to be the one you rely on to ease your burden.

Ezreal can't lie and say he understands everything about pregnancy and what you're going through. It all seems to go right over his head. The only thing he seems to get is your morning sickness, because he's literally feeling it too. Seeing you nauseous gets his own sympathetic response going. So while he's trying to comfort you, holding your hair as you hover over the toilet, he's also cradling the nearby trash bucket for himself. (How romantic!)

When your stomach grows, Ezreal can spend hours and hours talking to it. He never runs out of topics. Even mentioning the most mundane parts of his everyday life. These moments are when he feels he's bonding most with his child to be. He'll pretend to tell the baby secrets that you don't even know about, and whispers out loud with a wink, "but don't tell your mom about that one, 'kay?"

Ezreal is literally terrified to have sex with you. And not because he doesn't find your body attractive. But he actually believes he'll poke the baby's eye out, or pop you like a water balloon. And if that ever happened, the guilt would forever destroy him. It takes a visit to the obgyn and for a professional to explain that it's perfectly safe to have sex during your pregnancy. He's hesitant at first, but after the first go around, his confidence and sex drive picks right where it left off. (He regrets not going at it like rabbits sooner.)

When you're at your routine ultrasound appointment, Ezreal can't stop the tears parading down his face, even before he knows it's a boy. Hiccuping and siffling, one hand squeezes yours tight, while the other points at the imaging. "H...He...looks just...like me." It's endearing for him to think that. When the monitor only shows splotchy and fuzzy spots of the babies butt. The copied images to take home are his favorite photos taken. Ever.

░꒱♡‿ִ₊˚→ KAYN

When you break the news to Kayn, he doesn't hesitate to pull you in by the waist, pressing your hips together. Guiding a hand to the back of your neck, in a manner that was gentle and not comparable to how he fucked you senselessly. And with all the care in the world, he takes your lips.

"Damn. You're fertile as Hell. It only took us one time after you stopped your birth-control. Honestly, it's really fuckin' hot. How about we—you know—to celebrate?"

Counter to popular belief, Kayn brought up the idea to start a family first. When you asked him the reason, he first joked around a bit, telling you how hot and sexy it would be to 'impregnate you with his seed'. But, he put aside his usual impulsivities, and explained his desire to move on to the next part of his life. He was done with the partying and drugs. Over the one night stands and dating random no-nobodies. And just wanted to have a more meaningful, family oriented life—with you.

To show he's committed to the whole idea, he takes days off from his idol schedule to go to every prenatal check-up appointment. He plucks and stuffs every pamphlet into his pockets he can find around the waiting lobby. He asks tons of questions to the obgyn, and stuffs more educational brochures in his pockets. You have to scold him when he tries to snag a small uterus replica from the exam room. Kayn defends himself, wanting it for "educational" purposes. (Rhaast just wanted it as a neat souvenir.) He settles when a medical assistant gives him a sperm shaped pen.

Kayn is another one that isn't great with house chores. (But he'll gloat and say he's mastered cleaning the dishes, at the very least.) He's generally better at being sent for errands outside the home. If you need an extra ingredient to make dinner, he'll hop on his motorcycle and get it in record time. And if you're not feeling up for cooking, he'll order pick-up from your favorite place in town. You need to send a package at the post office? He'll wait hours in line on the busiest day of the week. Whatever he can do for you, he makes sure it gets done. So you never have to worry about something once you pass the responsibility to him. Showing you he's a more than capable partner and future father.

When your baby bump starts to show, Kayn's favorite thing to do is touch it. Applying the softest pressure as he runs his hands and finger across your rounding stomach. He's always enamored whenever he feels the baby move; another reminder of how amazing you are. And he never forgets to vocalize it. "You're so goddamn beautiful, you know that?" he'll say like you've cursed him. Cradling your face and taking your mouth.

You never have to tell this man more than once to touch or have sex with you. It's part of his daily routine a this point. And definitely one of his favorite ways to bond with you. But now that you're pregnant, it's as if the sex between you two has shifted into another plane of pleasurable existence. Never getting enough of it, even moments after finishing. But on the days you're not up for it, he respects it. And doesn't mind defaulting to cuddling, before dozing off to sleep with you in his arms. (But he eagerly counts down the time for when you're in the mood again.)

Kayn tries not to show to much of his softer-side; he rather be the one to have his shoulder wet than yours. But at your ultrasound appointment, once it's confirmed you're having a girl, his whole punk 'fuck only the hot police' persona collapses. You notice him clear his throat, and quickly swipe a knuckle at the corner of his eyes. He masks this dent of composure by huffing a laugh, "Guess I'm, uh...going to be kicking the crap out of a lot of asses later."

[coffeeshades]

credits to the gif maker!

LOVE IS COMPLICATED - PART IV

—know it’s for the better

summary: the trials and tribulations of falling in love or two idiots who can't get their shit together.

pairing: pedro pascal x actress/singer!reader.

word count: 7.2k

warnings: 18+ (minors dni). mentions of sex. angst (heavy on this i'm sorry in advance) cussing, age gap, mentions of drugs and alcohol. no use of y/n, if i missed something please let me know!

a/n: hi everyone! yes yes i know i disappeared for like 5 months but let's pretend i didn't. i've seen all of your messages and comments and i'm overwhelmed with all the love you've shown to the previous parts. thank you so much to everyone who likes, reblogs and leaves a kind message, i see you and love u. here's a new lil chapter, i hope you enjoy it. happy reading!!

masterlist with next parts!

February 28th, 2019 

Cort Theater, NY

The day was here. The day he had been eagerly waiting on for months. The anticipation had been building up, and now he was finally going to perform in front of a live audience for the first time in what felt like an eternity. The months of rehearsals and hard work had all led up to this moment, and he was ready to give it his all.

He was starring in the new Broadway production of “King Lear" as Edmond, one of the play's most complex and intriguing characters. The role had challenged him in ways he had never experienced before, pushing him to delve deep into the character's motivations and emotions. As he stepped onto the stage, the bright lights shining down on him, he felt a surge of adrenaline and a sense of purpose. 

And just like that, three hours and twenty-five minutes later, the final curtain fell on the play. The audience erupted into thunderous applause, their standing ovation a testament to their incredible performance. Exhausted but exhilarated, he knew he had given everything he had to the role and left it all on the stage. 

His mind raced with a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. The rush of adrenaline slowly subsided, and as much as he wanted to hear what everyone thought of his performance, there was only one person whose opinion mattered to him right now: yours. 

The last time he saw you was on your last day in Chile, almost two months ago. He vividly remembered the bittersweet farewell outside his family's house—you getting into the car and him closing the door. A door that seemed to separate their worlds. Since then, they had kept in touch through messages and occasional video calls, but it wasn't the same. Of course it wasn't. It will never be. 

The distance between them had only fueled his longing, making him yearn for your presence even more. Constantly trying to derail his one-track mind. 

He knows you're here. He had invited his siblings and closest friends. However, he was unsure of your attendance until an hour before the show, when he received a text from Oscar:

"She's coming with me. Stop pacing and good luck." 

He hadn't really discussed what happened back in Chile with Oscar or anyone, for that matter, but he could tell everyone knew something was off about how the two of you interacted. So when he got the message from Oscar, instead of freaking out about him potentially finding out about you two, he felt relieved. 

It gave him comfort to know that Oscar knew him so well that he was aware of the fact that you were the cause of his two-hour pacing in his dressing room. It was also fucking stupid and laughable. 

The energy backstage was electric as he walked through the bustling crowd of crew members and performers. He entered his dressing room, grabbing his phone and immediately seeing all the texts from friends and his siblings. He opened one from Javiera: "Felicidades, hermanito! Killed it. See you at The Terrace." 

They had planned on getting together afterwards to celebrate. He replied with a grateful smile, saying he'd be there in a few and to get there without him. He quickly changed into a more casual outfit: dark jeans and a comfortable white t-shirt. Wanting to unwind after the intense performance, he made his way to the restaurant. It was only a few blocks away from the theater, so he decided to enjoy the pleasant evening weather and take a leisurely stroll. 

Once he got there and stepped out of the elevator, Pedro watched you from across the room. A delicate hand rested on Oscar's shoulder as you chatted and laughed together. He felt a bubble of pride in himself swell; it warmed him to know that you were enjoying yourself and having a good time. 

He felt like an intruder in your intimate moment, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. At least I don't have to miss her anymore because she's right there, he thought. 

Pedro made his way across the room, trying to appear nonchalant as he approached the table. 

"There he is! the man of the hour," Oscar said, a wide smile spreading across his face. 

You turned. Eyes meeting, and it was like a car crash. A collision of emotions and memories flooding back all at once. The air between you crackled with unresolved tension, and Pedro's heart raced as he struggled to find the right words to say.  

"You came," he said, his voice stern. Not reflecting at all the turmoil inside him. "Thank you." 

"Well, you called," you replied, trying to sound nonchalant as well. Deep down, though, your heart was pounding just as fast as Pedro's. 

Everyone seemed to ignore the palpable tension in the room and how he was losing his mind over these unclear conversations between your glances, carrying on with their congratulatory words to Pedro as if nothing had happened. But for Pedro and you, time stood still. 

People settled into an easy conversation, enjoying each other's company as the night went on. As the night went on, Pedro and you exchanged occasional glances, silently acknowledging the shared secret that lingered. He wanted to scream it at the top of his lungs: We slept together! We slept together, and I loved it! He wanted every single person in New York to hear it. To feel the exhilaration and passion that consumed him. 

However, to say it was to make it real, and Pedro wasn't quite ready to face the consequences of that reality just yet. He knew his place in her life. He knew it was better this way. However, the ever-present question of 'Is it better to have something and lose it than never have it at all?' haunted his mind. 

The laughter and chatter around you provided a stark contrast to the whirlwind of emotions swirling within both of you. After a couple drinks, the atmosphere became more relaxed, and Pedro found himself engaging in lighthearted conversations with the people around him. 

"Ah, man. I need a cigarrette," he said to Oscar, reaching into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. 

"Go, go. I'll keep everyone entertained," Oscar replied with a smile, gesturing towards the lively crowd. Pedro nodded gratefully and stepped outside, the cool night air providing a brief respite from the chaos of his thoughts. As he lit his cigarette and took a long drag, he couldn't help but wonder if the temporary escape it offered was worth the potential consequences. 

"I thought you quit," you remarked, slowly making your way to him, eyebrows raised in mild surprise. Pedro turned and exhaled a cloud of smoke, a wistful expression crossing his face. "I did, but you know me. I have a hard time letting go of old habits," he admitted, flicking the ash off his cigarette.

"Care to share?" you asked, gesturing towards the pack of cigarettes in his hand. Pedro hesitated for a moment. 

"No." 

"No?" you repeated, raising an eyebrow. 

"I don't want to be the reason you get lung cancer." 

You chuckled. "Ok, so you can do it, but I can't. Got it." 

"I'm old; there's no use," he said with a shrug. "However, you have a whole life ahead of you."

"You make it sound like you're on a deathbed," you teased, taking a playful jab at Pedro's dramatic statement. He smirked and took a long drag from his cigarette before responding. "Maybe I am, in a way. But hey, we all gotta go someday, right?" 

"That's...dark," you sighed. "mind if we changed the subject?" 

"Sure, what do you want to talk about?" Pedro asked, flicking the ash from his cigarette. "Anything to distract me from my impending doom," he added with a smirk. 

A laugh escaped your lips as you thought of a lighter topic. "How about we discuss your play?"  Pedro's eyes lit up at the suggestion, momentarily forgetting about his earlier morbid thoughts. 

"How are you feeling about your performance?"

Pedro looked at you for a little too long before finally responding, "It's funny I'm thinking about death because I've never felt more alive than on that stage." 

"I could tell. I thought you were great, P." 

He shook his head modestly. "Thanks, but I still feel like there's room for improvement. I want to push myself even further in the next shows." 

"I get that." 

Pedro watched you stare at the ground. His thoughts began to conspire against him, and as he was about to speak, you also looked up and opened your mouth at the same time. Words rushed out in unison.

You both paused, realizing you had interrupted each other. Pedro chuckled tentatively and motioned for you to go ahead. "Sorry, you first," he said with a polite smile. 

You bit your lip, seemingly trying to gather your thoughts. "It's nothing. I just wanted to tell you I'll be in Europe for awhile. I got the Nolan movie."  

"Woah, another one?" 

"Yup. The role isn't as big as in interstellar, but I love working with him so much I couldn't pass up the opportunity."  Pedro nodded, a mix of excitement and disappointment flickering across his face. "That's amazing; congratulations. I'm sure you'll do great, as always," he said sincerely. "I'll definitely miss having you around, though." 

"Well, it's not like it'll be much different than now," you replied. "I haven't seen you since...since you know,"  your expression turned somber, cheeks flushed. 

You were right. He was so busy with the play and his new role in the second installment of Wonder Woman that he barely had any time. He even had to cut back on his time on set for The Mandalorian reshoots this month and a few scenes for a second season that haven't even been announced. 

"Yeah, I know." 

"Should we talk about it?" 

"I mean, there's nothing to talk about, really," Pedro said with a shrug, not daring to look you in the eye. "We slept together, and we both agreed that was it. No need to complicate things further." he tried to maintain a casual tone, but his voice wavered slightly. 

Pedro wanted to scream. The nicotine clouding his lungs was the only thing keeping him from losing control. It seemed like all he was left with was a painful reminder of what could have been. He looked at you as he took another puff of smoke. Your eyes clearly searching for a trace of emotion in his face, but finding none. 

A droplet of rain landed on Pedro's cheek as he inhaled deeply, feeling the coolness against his skin. It was as if the universe was reflecting his inner turmoil, adding to the weight of his unspoken words. He watched as you looked up at the darkening sky, the raindrops falling steadily on your hair. 

The sound of thunder echoed in the distance, mirroring the storm brewing within him. He dropped the cigarrette from his hand, its ember extinguished by the rain.

"Isn't that the point of love, though?" you finally responded, your voice raspy and drunk with bitterness and resignation. "To complicate things, to make us question everything, to drive us to the brink of madness. Maybe it's not meant to be simple, Pedro." 

His body tensed up, and your words clearly struck a nerve. The weight of your statement hung heavy in the air, leaving an uncomfortable silence between you both. It was no secret that his perspective on love had been tainted by past experiences, leaving him guarded and unwilling to let go of his pain. 

"You're right. Which is why I would rather stay away from it. I've seen firsthand the havoc it can wreak on people's lives," Pedro admitted, his voice laced with a hint of frustration. He knows he's hurting you; he can see it by the way your eyes glisten with unshed tears. 

"So that's it, then?" you asked, your voice trembling. "Is this how it is always going to be?"

But he can't risk it. "I thought we were on the same page with this." 

He sees how your jaw tightens at his statement. He knows he's hurting you. He's twisting the knife even deeper. He can't seem to stop just because he believes it's for the better. 

Please know it's for the better. 

"Yeah, I guess it's better this way," you spat back, your voice filled with anger. Of course, you could tell exactly how he was feeling. 

"Guys! What the fuck are you doing outside? It's fucking pouring!" A friend shouts from the doorway. "Get inside!" 

You both stood there staring at each other, momentarily forgetting the rain pouring down around you. 

“Yeah. What the fuck are we doing?" you say, not even trying to mask the anger in your voice. 

He wants to reach out and kiss you. Kiss you so hard that his lips would bruise. Kiss you so hard that your pain will fade away. But that action would go against everything he had just said. 

So he just watches you turn around and leave. 

What the fuck is he doing?

3 months later

After weeks of shooting in the United Kingdom and the Amalfi Coast, you and the crew finally had a couple of days off. Aaron, John, and Rob had the brilliant idea to take a quick trip to Monaco. 

“It’s a Grand Prix weekend,” Aaron said excitedly. “Maybe if we make a few calls, we could still snag some passes.” 

“Doesn’t that start this week?” Rob inquired, taking a sip of his drink. Ever since your arrival in Italy, the four of you finally got the chance to eat dinner together at a nice restaurant. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Aaron waved his hands in the air, “but if we leave tomorrow, there’s plenty of time to get there and enjoy ourselves.” 

You were so focused on your meal that you missed the sound of your name coming from Aaron’s mouth. “Hellooo?” he continued, and you looked up at him, eyebrows raised. “Aren’t you friends with Lewis Hamilton?” 

“Yeah. Well, I mean, we see each other sometimes at events and stuff. He’s really nice,” you tell him, still feeling a bit distracted. 

“Could you maybe give him a call and get us those passes?” he asks, pouting like a puppy. John laughs at him, hitting him lightly on the arm. 

“Sure, I can try,” you reply, feeling a bit hesitant. You rarely ask for special favors and don't want to come across as entitled, even more so when you haven't spoken to Lewis in so long. 

“Yes!” Aaron celebrates by raising his fists. "Um, one more thing,"

“Mate, you’re pushing it now,” Rob remarks with a playful tone. You can tell he's enjoying the banter between you and Aaron. 

“Go on,” you gesture at him to continue, a smile on your face. 

“Could we also use your PP?” 

“Use her what now?” John exclaims. Laughter erupts from Rob's mouth, making you and John join in. 

“Her private plane, mate!” Aaron says, embarrassed. 

“Yes, Aaron,” you get out, still laughing. “I’ll let you use my PP.”

"Thank you!" 

•••

The flight to Monaco was smooth and quick. You spent most of it trying to focus on a script for a project after this one while the boys all slept. After your dinner last night, you made two calls: one to Lewis to ask about the passes and one to your publicist to let her know about your last-minute adventure. 

Lewis was very nice as usual and said that, of course, he can get you the passes, while your agent said attending an F1 weekend would be good publicity and good fun. A win-win situation, she called it. She also said that since you were going to attend the race, you might as well attend all the events that come with it, which meant she had to fly in to assist you.

By the time the plane finally landed and you made it to the hotel, you were worn out. You spent the rest of the afternoon and night sleeping, without a care in the world. The next day, soft knocks on the door woke you up. 

"It's me,"  Taylor's voice called out. 

You groggily got out of bed and opened the door to find her standing there with her laptop, a cup of coffee, and a huge smile on her face. "Good morning, sleeping beauty." 

Although you hadn't passed a mirror on your way to answer the door, you had the feeling that you didn't look visually appealing at the moment. Your body ached, like you wrestled with a wild animal all night and lost. 

"Did you just get here?" you ask her, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. She smiles and shakes her head. "I got here late last night, but you weren't answering the phone, so I called Renata instead, and she said you were sleeping. And like the great person I am, I let you rest." Renata is your PA/publicist, a great friend, and one of the two constants in your life, along with Taylor. 

"Wow, so kind of you," you say sarcastically, but can't help the small smile that tugs at the corners of your mouth. "Come in." 

As Taylor enters, you shut the door behind her. She scans the space in fascination. There are floor-to-ceiling windows on the wall that run the length of the room and the wall to your left, which is behind the dining room table. A broad view of the harbor can be seen between the sheer, white, fluttering lengths of the floating curtains. 

"Gorgeous suite," she says, sitting on the plush sofa across the room. 

"Ren always chooses the best rooms, so yes," you tell her, sinking once again into your warm bed. 

"You're still tired? You've slept for like 16 hours already," she chuckles, pouring herself a glass of water from the crystal pitcher on the side table. "I know, but I guess the jetlag is hitting me harder than I thought," you reply with a yawn, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath of the fragrant flowers on the nightstand. 

"You didn't come to Monaco to sleep, did you?" Taylor chuckles, sitting down on the edge of the bed. 

"Yes?" 

"No! We have a full itinerary planned for today, starting with breakfast at Café de Paris across the street with the boys. And then we're off to the Hotel de Paris for a F1 brunch event. There will be lots of food, drinks, and hot guys. Specifically, hot F1 drivers," you groan-laugh inwardly at the thought of dragging yourself out of bed so early for the sake of hot guys. "You know that's the last thing on my mind, right?" 

"Well, not on mine!" she replies with a wink. "But seriously, it's not just about the eye candy. The event is also for a good cause, raising funds for a local charity. And it's also a great place to network and meet new people—you know the drill." You nod in agreement, feeling more motivated to attend, knowing that it's for a meaningful purpose. 

With a determined sigh, you sit up and swing your legs over the edge of the bed. "Okay, I'll shower."

"Let me call Renata and tell her to prep the car and get the glam team in here." 

"Thank you," you tell her, disappearing into the bathroom. 

•••

Two hours later, you find yourself entering the venue of a charity event with your very impatient and rather enthusiastic co-star and best friend, Aaron. The venue is buzzing with excitement as you take in the elegant decorations and the well-dressed attendees. Since it's Monaco in May, you're sporting a light blue strapless top and white linen pants that complement the warm weather and the sophisticated atmosphere of the event.

"I can't believe Rob and John sat this one out because they were 'too tired', Aaron remarks, shaking his head in disbelief. 

"Well, they don't have the energy of a 5-year-old, unlike you," you tease, playfully nudging him. "But hey, more champagne for us," you add with a mischievous grin as you grab two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter. "Cheers."

The bubbles tickle your nose as you take a sip, savoring the crisp and refreshing taste. 

Camera flashes illuminate the room as people mingle and engage in lively conversations. You're stopped every 5 minutes by someone wanting to take a picture with you. You oblige every time with a smile, posing for each photo and exchanging pleasantries. After all, that's why you're here for. 

Everything was going smoothly until someone bumped into you, causing you to spill champagne all over your clothes. The cold liquid seeps mostly through the fabric of your top, leaving a sticky sensation against your skin. 

"Oh, my bad," you hear a thick Australian accent apologize. You turn to see a rather tall, tan-skinned, handsome man with a sheepish grin on his face. Did you say how handsome he was? And what the fuck was he smiling for? 

Once he realizes who you are, his eyes widen in surprise and anguish. People start noticing the commotion and turn their attention towards the two of you. The man quickly grabs your arm and pulls you away from the crowd, his grip firm but gentle. 

"Hey! Where are you taking me!" you protest, trying to free your arm from his grasp. His grip tightens slightly, but he maintains a calm demeanor as he leads you towards a quieter corner. As you reach a bathroom, he finally releases his hold on you and takes a step back, his expression filled with concern. 

"Relax, I'm not kidnapping you." 

The chaos around you fades into the background as he shuts the door and starts grabbing paper towels. "Shit, here," he says, handing you one. "Sorry for ruining your clothes."  

You start wiping the spilled drink off your clothes, a little annoyed at the inconvenience. You can feel his gaze burning into you without looking. 

"Do ya want me to give you mine?" he offers, gesturing towards his own shirt. "It might be a bit big on you, but at least it's dry." he pauses, waiting for your response. 

You stare at him. "And what? you're going to walk around shirtless?" you ask, raising an eyebrow. He chuckles. "Yeah, I have a banging body, so I'll just be doing everybody here a favor here, really," he replies with a smirk. 

You roll your eyes at his cocky remark. "I think I'll manage without your shirt, thanks," you say sarcastically. "But I appreciate the offer." 

He laughs as he observes you. "Okay, then let me find another way to make it up to you." 

"There's no need."

"Do you have plans tonight?"

"I'm fine."

"Does 7 p.m. sound good to you?"

"Listen—"

"Where are you staying?" 

"I don't even know you."

"It's Daniel."

"Okay, Daniel. I don't know you, so no."

"But you could," he says with a playful glint in his eyes. "And who knows, it could be the start of something new." 

"Are you quoting High School Musical to me?" 

"Hey, it's a classic. And it was right there." 

You chuckle, unable to resist his charm. Something lights up in his eyes. 

"Listen, I won't push you anymore. It's up to you. Can't blame me for trying, though." you raise an eyebrow, considering his words. 

"I'm going to go now," you tell him, pointing at the door. 

He nods understandingly. "See ya later."

•••

After about 30 more minutes of indulging everyone in conversation and enjoying the party, Lewis Hamilton finds you. "Hi sweetie, there you are," he greets you, ever so polite. "I heard chatter that you were here. I thought I wouldn't see you until tomorrow's practice sessions." 

"Oh yeah, but you know duty calls," you say with a smile as you lean in to hug him. "It's so nice to see you. Thanks again for the passes." 

"Oh, it's nothing. You would've gotten them without me, but I'm glad you called me instead. How have you been enjoying Monaco so far?" 

"Good, good—" you begin, but before you can finish your sentence, a burst of laughter you recognize from earlier erupts from across the room. "Actually, do you happen to know him?" you ask Lewis, gesturing with your head towards the source of laughter. Daniel is joyfully engaged in conversation with a group of people. Lewis follows your gaze and chuckles, "Ah, that's Daniel Ricciardo. He's a fellow Formula 1 driver and quite the character, to be honest. He's a cool dude." 

"Huh," is all you manage to say as you watch Daniel animatedly tell a story, his infectious laughter filling the room. 

"What are we looking at?" Renata and Aaron find you and join the conversation; their curiosity is piqued. 

"Nothing," you quickly respond. Renata immediately caught on to your evasive response and followed your gaze. "Oh, Daniel?" she exclaims, voice hushed and her eyes glinting with excitement. 

"Wait, you know who he is?"

"I did my homework on the plane. He drives for Renault, and he looks great doing it."

Lewis and Aaron chuckle at Renata's enthusiasm, sharing in her excitement. "I think Renata will be watching a few races from now on," Lewis remarks, causing everyone to laugh. Renata shrugs, a proud smile on her face. "Trust me, I will, but not for him. Have you heard of Charles Leclerc?" 

You're still staring at Daniel, dumbfounded. Wheels are turning in your mind. 

Aaron's voice interrupts your thoughts. "So...why are we still staring at him?" 

"I'm going on a date with him tonight." 

Your own declaration surprises you. 

"Wait, you are?" both of your friends say in unison, their eyes widening with curiosity. 

"Yes," you say, setting down your drink. "You guys ready to go now?" 

They nodded, not wanting to press further but clearly intrigued by this, and you said your goodbyes to Lewis, promising to see him on Friday at the track. As you made your way to the exit, you grabbed Daniel by the arm and pulled him aside. 

"Hotel Hermitage, 7 p.m., Room 303. Don't be late," you whispered, voice calm and steady. Daniel's mouth curled into a smile, but he maintained his composure and nodded, a feeling of excitement in his gaze. With a final pat on his shoulder, you rejoined your friends and headed out of the venue, eager for the evening ahead. 

•••

You don't know what the hell you were thinking when you said yes. You could feel your anxiety building as the time approached—face flushed, stomach twisting in knots. James and Liz, your hair and makeup team, paused, laying out brushes and curling wands. "Everything okay, love?" James asked. "You want us out?" 

"No, keep going. You're almost done, anyway. I'm just internally freaking out a little." 

"You're great and look beautiful," Liz replied. "There's nothing to worry about."

You give her a tight smile and try to believe her words, but the nagging doubts continue to linger in the back of your mind. As the final touches are applied, you take a deep breath and say your goodbyes to them. 

"Good luck and have fun!" James says as Liz winks at you and closes the door. You chuckle at their enthusiasm. You walk back into the bedroom and pick up the black cocktail dress hanging on the closet door. The soft fabric feels comforting against your fingertips as you slip it on. The dress hugs your curves perfectly, accentuating your best features. You grab your clutch and check yourself in the mirror one last time. 

A knock on the door startles you. "Coming!" 

Breathe, you remind yourself. 

"Wow," Daniel says with a warm smile. "You look absolutely stunning. Are you ready to go?"  

You're sure your face must look like a tomato as you thank Daniel for the compliment. 

"Yes, let's." 

As you reach the entrance of the hotel, Daniel hands the valet a ticket, and he opens the door of his car for you. "My lady," he says with a playful bow. You can't help but feel a rush of excitement as you step into the very flashy luxury car. For an F1 driver, you didn't expect anything less. The soft leather seats hug your body as you settle in, and the sleek interior design adds to the overall opulence of the vehicle. Daniel starts the engine, and the car glides smoothly onto the road. 

"Where are you taking me?" 

He looks at you with a mischevious grin plastered on his face. "My friend Max is throwing a yatch party tonight, and I thought it would be the perfect way to spend the night," he says, revving the engine slightly. "But I intend to dine and wine you before we head there." 

"Oh," you reply nonchalantly, "Nice."

"Still playing hard to get?"

You shrug and give him a grin. 

"That's alright. I enjoy a good challenge," he replies, his eyes sparkling. "But I have a feeling that by the end of the week, you won't be able to resist my charm." He winks at you. 

"You're quite confident, aren't you?" you say, raising an eyebrow. "But don't underestimate my ability to resist." You smirk back at him, ready to prove him wrong. 

The car pulls up to the entrance of the restaurant, and you both step out onto the bustling street. You make your way inside. "Oh, I've been here before," you say lowly, feeling a little satisfied that it is something you've experienced already, so it's harder for him to impress you. 

You couldn't have been more wrong, though. 

The hostess greets you with a warm smile and leads you to the main dining area. As you follow her, you can't help but notice it's....empty. Not a single table is occupied. The dimly lit room feels intimate and cozy, with soft music playing in the background and red roses adorning each table.  

The hostess gestures towards a table in the middle of the room. "The waiter will be with you shortly," she says before leaving you alone. 

You turn around, facing Daniel. "Did you rent out the entire restaurant for us?" you ask, slightly surprised. Daniel chuckles and shakes his head. "No, I just made a reservation for a quiet evening," he replies. 

"You're an awful liar."

"I just saw how hectic everything was for you this morning, with all the pictures and people clamoring for your attention. I wanted to give you a break from that and create a peaceful vibe for us to enjoy tonight," Daniel explains, his eyes filled with sincerity. 

You smile. "That's very thoughtful. Thank you."

"I have my moments." 

The night continues with the two of you enjoying the delicious food and engaging in fun and light conversation. The peaceful atmosphere allows you both to relax and truly connect with each other. 

Just what you needed but didn't realize until now. 

"You're literally always smiling," you tell him. In the very short time you've known Daniel, there's something constant about him: his distinctive smile. Daniel chuckles and replies, "It's amazing what surgery can do. Formula 1 pays really well, and I was able to put a lot of that money into permanent smile surgery."

You burst out laughing. "Well, they did a great job," you say, still chuckling.

•••

You glided arm in arm onto the yatch, dry martinis in hand and a revolving stream of waitstaff to refill your drinks as soon as they emptied. You feel more relaxed and comfortable now. Maybe it was the three glasses of wine you had at dinner and the drink that's currently in your hand, or maybe it was the contagious laughter and carefree attitude of your date. 

Cote d'Azur was a smooth wash of precious stones at this time of year. The ocean's deep, smoky blue stretched out like a shiny carpet. Loud music blasted from the speakers, and the upper deck was transformed into a vibrant dance floor with people spinning and swaying to the beat. 

You wished you could rest your head on Daniel's shoulder without looking like you were already drunk. 

He excitedly introduced you to his friends, who instantly made you feel like part of their tight-knit circle. As the night progressed, you found yourself effortlessly blending in. 

"So how did this insufferable clown manage to take you out on a date?" Max asked, his voice loud over the booming music. 

You shared a brief glance with Daniel. "He spilled champagne all over me."

"And then she couldn't help but fall for my charming personality and good looks," Daniel interjected with a playful grin. 

"Yes, that's exactly what happened." 

Daniel puts a hand on your lower back, and you mindlessly lean into his touch. "You wanna go outside for a bit?" 

The need for some fresh air and a break from the crowded room causes you to hum in agreement. You leaned over and observed the white waves as they cut through the water as you came across a section of railing near the stern of the yatch. 

The sound of the waves crashing against the yacht provided a soothing soundtrack to your conversation. As you leaned against the railing, Daniel's playful banter continued. 

"Are you having fun?" 

"Very much so," you replied, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. 

"So I'm winning sooner than I thought I would."

"Winning what exactly, Daniel?" you asked, raising an eyebrow playfully. "The game of enjoying this beautiful yacht ride? Then yes, I suppose you are." 

He laughed, but it wasn't his usual boisterous laugh. It was a softer, more genuine sound that made your heart flutter. 

He came closer. "Would you like me to whisper it in your ear?" 

As he leaned in, you could feel the warmth of his presence enveloping you. His eyes were locked with yours. 

"You're falling for me," he whispered, his voice husky. The words sent a shiver down your spine, confirming what you had been trying to deny for the past hour or so. Not because you didn't find him charming or attractive, but because you felt like you were betraying the person who broke your heart months ago. 

How can someone break your heart if it wasn't theirs to begin with? 

You push back those thoughts. 

The playful banter that played out all night faded into the background as a new energy filled the air, sparking a connection between the two of you that was impossible to ignore. 

You give in. 

"You think?" 

He nods, his eyes dark. Your hands were encircling his neck, one at the nape of his neck and the other against the side, where you could feel his heart pounding beneath the pads of your fingers. Your fingers scraped at bristled hairs as you held onto his curls, and you enjoyed the feel of them rubbing against the pads of your fingers. You were tightly gripping him in your hands, not allowing even a millimeter to pass.

Daniel couldn’t decide where to touch you. You huffed a breath against his mouth as the lightest of touches - the barest featherweight of fingertips, like your skin was made of silk, traced along the curve of your jawline. The sensation sent shivers down your spine, making you crave more of his touch. His fingers continued their exploration, trailing down the nape of your neck, leaving a trail of tingling sensations in their wake. 

He had pressed you against the railing at your back with no warning, and you felt the firm pressure of it. And now you arose from it, attempting to cling to every bone-hard surface of Daniel's body. His lips found yours in a passionate kiss, igniting a fire within you that consumed all rational thought.

"People are watching," you whispered breathlessly, breaking the kiss reluctantly. Daniel's eyes met yours, filled with a mix of desire and mischief. He smirked, his hand sliding down your waist possessively. 

"Let them."

You were so fucked. 

•••

You’d barely been able to breathe these past couple of days with events and rendezvous with Daniel consuming your every waking moments. It was fast paced and you found yourself completely swept up in the whirlwind of emotions. He was showing you his world and you were willingly diving headfirst into it. 

It was Saturday morning, which meant is qualifying day and despite all of the media commitments and preparation that Daniel had to do, he’d promised breakfast as a way to make up for it. So here you were at a cafe only a short walk from the circuit, chewing your way through a delicious stack of pancakes while Daniel sipped on his coffee. 

It felt oddly comforting to be sitting there with him. He was a stranger to you just a few days ago, but now he feels like a familiar presence. The conversations flowed effortlessly between you; he was funny, attentive, and attentive, but most importantly, he wasn't afraid of showing you off and telling you how much he liked you. 

From the moment you crossed paths, he showed interest in you and made an effort. You haven't questioned whether he genuinely liked you or not. It was nice to be with someone who didn't play games or hide their feelings. 

Your mind has also found a new way to torture you: whenever you felt happy with Daniel, a nagging voice in the back of your head would remind you of him. 

Him. Him. Him. 

You couldn't even say or think of his name. It was too much.  

And yes, you were content, but you couldn't help but think about it. 

The first time you tasted Daniel's lips, you were let down it wasn't the same. That feeling of disappointment lingered, but as days passed, it dissipated more and more. Maybe one day it'll be gone completely, you thought. 

"So let me get this straight," you say, putting your fork and knife down on the plate. "You were on your way to winning in 2016, but a pit stop error cost you the race?" 

Daniel nods. "It haunted me for so long. I couldn't shake off the frustration."

You grab your coffee and lean back on the chair, listening intently. "It was very dark. I should've been happy because I was on the podium in Monaco, and that's huge, but I was miserable. The whole time, all I wanted to do was smash everything to pieces and scream, which is something you do not want to do in front of Monaco royalty, by the way." 

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued by Daniel's emotional upheaval. This was clearly a pivotal moment for him. "So, what finally helped you move past that?" you ask, curious to hear his response. 

"Well," Daniel begins, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "I won last year." 

"Yeah, that'll do it." 

You both laugh, and he places a hand on your knee beneath the table. "But honestly," he continues, his voice softening. "It wasn't just about winning. It was about proving to myself that I could overcome my own limitations and achieve greatness." 

"So...winning basically," you respond, teasingly. 

"See, I wanted to be humble about it, but let's be real, winning felt pretty damn good," Daniel admits with a sheepish grin. "I love winning."  

You snort in amusement, "Well, I guess a little bit of bragging rights never hurt anyone." 

You two carry on with your meals. His left hand still on your knee, and the air filled with contentment. 

•••

While Daniel returned from the qualifying weigh-in, you waited at the back of the garage. You had gradually gotten to know the Renault team over the previous two days. Everyone, from the mechanics to the media team, has been friendly and welcoming to you. You're still trying to decide whether it's because of Daniel, your status, or that they were just nice. Pretty sure it was all three. 

You were aware that it would be best for you to stay out of the way as the team worked and the broadcasting teams were filming in and around the pit lane, but you were unable to hide in Daniel's prep room. At the back of the garage, you found a calm area where you could watch the busy activity without being a nuisance. 

You were aware that, although you might have been in the VIP sections, you couldn't be that far away from him. You were able to feel more connected to Daniel and the team's spirit by spending time in the garage.

The phone had been ringing nonstop all day in the back pocket of your pants; the screen frequently flashed with new notifications from your social media accounts or texts or calls from friends and family. You were aware that the countless pictures of Daniel and you parading through Monaco were the root of the problem. 

It was truly a sight to behold to be watching him race around the track and walk around the paddock. 

He was in his element. 

"You look cute, baby," he says, referring to the oversized headseat on your head. His face flushed from the heat, and yours from the compliment. His hair was messy and a little damp from sweat, evidence of the intense racing. He looked perfect. 

Fuck. 

He leaned in for a kiss, his lips brushing against yours, electricity rushing through you. 

Fuck. 

"I think you're winning," you say, your eyes fixed on him. 

"Aw, that's sweet of you, baby, but I didn't qualify that great," he chuckles, his eyes twinkling with amusement. 

"That's not what I meant."

His face is puzzled for a moment before realization dawns on him. He smirks, his signature smile spreading across his face. "Oh," he says, his voice filled with warmth and affection. 

"Yeah," you say, barely above a whisper, your eyes never leaving his. 

"I told you so," he replies, his voice filled with confidence and pride. 

"Shut up," you say playfully before kissing him again.

Fuck. 

You were falling for him. 

a/n: oh oh pedro...someone's stealing your girl. are you guys team pedro or team daniel?

Reblog or like if you enjoyed it! thank you for reading :)

[jellyfishandry]

Crushing on a fellow teacher

Characters: Shota Aizawa, Toshinori Yagi

CW: work place romance, gn reader, reader is also a hero, mentions of injury, mentions of death?,

WC: 620+

A/N: Wrote this in school cause I'm tired, and sick of these people

Shota Aizawa

It really just starts off with his concern for you being higher than the other teachers

He'll check in on you more often, maybe bring you tea or coffee if you're working late

He knows that hero work comes with obvious dangers, even for one working as a teacher, but he can't help but feel bad when you get hurt, thinking he should've been there to help/protect you

That's about when he realizes that he likes you more than the others

Or Present Mic mentions it

He's generally good at hiding how he feels

To the outsider, one would think that you're simply a friend he cares for a lot

He cares deeply for his friends, but everyone who knew him could see that his care for you went deeper

He doesn't really think to confess, cause it might affect his work quality (and yours), and his work comes first

So he just sticks to quietly pining over you

You'd probably have to confess if you want your romantic relationship to go anywhere

If you do confess, he'll tell you the feeling is mutual, and he'd do one of two things

1, decline you offer to start dating, but only because of the work situation, but he'll fully communicate that he likes you too

Or 2, he'll accept, but ask to keep the relationship under the radar so you both can continue teaching and working like normal, and so his co-workers don't treat either of you any different (even though they suspect the feeling between the two of you)

But

If you end up teaching somewhere else, or just stop working at UA, he'd be more comfortable with making your relationship more open to his friends

Either way, very caring and understanding, if you confess or don't confess <3

Toshinori Yagi

Reckless fuck (affectionate)

He doesn't entirely understand why he's feeling this way at first

Like, you should just be a co-worker and friend, but for some reason he's feeling more

Also thinks of it as "I'm willing to die for anyone, but why them even more???"

He really tries to play it off like he just cares for you in a platonic way

I believe that throughout his life, he was too focused on hero work, or training to be a hero to think much about romantic relationships

But he's not entirely clueless about romance

He's seen a lot of stuff in media, and might've had a few small relationships in the past, but nothing as serious or intense as the things he's feeling towards you

He tries to act casual around you, but he really doesn't know what to do with himself

He'll occasionally bake things for the staff just to see the joy on your face when eating the sweets

He feels somewhat insecure about his true form

He hasn't exactly been directly body shamed

But that generally insecurity definitely lives in the back of his mind

Can't help but check in on you more often and help you with things

Because of his past hero work, helping you comes naturally to him

The other staff notice his actions, and they quickly catch on

A few students catch on as well

He tries to keep his emotions and feelings on the back burner, so he can focus on his students and teaching

But eventually it gets overwhelming, and he forces himself to confess

It's most likely after hours when you're both tired and stressed

He just needs to get if off his chest, whether you'll reciprocate his feelings or not

You're probably not super surprised, cause of all the clear signs

He's so happy when you say the feelings are mutual

You'll probably end up keeping the relationship under the radar, cause he doesn't want villains using you hurting you or using you against him

Though the staff find out relatively quickly cause the soft looks you give each other pretty much gives it away

|| Intro || Masterlist ||

[eightstarr]

i know — van palmer.

summary: you can't remember a life before van, but there was one. there must've been one. it feels ridiculous to think about. you'd rather think about her, rather think about this— two moments then, and two moments now (and so, so many to come).

notes: heyyy i know i said i would post this like a month ago, i fully forgot!! if there was like one person waiting i'm sorry and i love you sm <3 also this ignores the plot entirely and i wanna make that very clear just in case!! it's like a nothing happened and we're all okay au! anyway here's to my loser girl and to whoever also finds themselves staring at the wall in silence thinking about her :)

・。.・゜✧・. ────

THEN.

"You're hogging the blanket," Jackie mutters over a mouthful of popcorn, purple polished nails tugging at the soft fabric.

She's right— you are. "I'm not," you say, and bring your legs close to your chest partly so they can offer some kind of comfort, but mostly so they're not touching the unknown dangers of the floor anymore.

The TV flashes red and Jackie's living room is bathed in it, along with all your faces.

Shauna snorts at a man getting brutally and very unrealistically decapitated on the screen and pulls her own blanket closer to her best friend before she even has to ask. They do that a lot; talk without words. Any other time you would've noticed, thought that's cute and smiled to yourself, but right now you're too terrified.

The movie is bad. Or, that's what you have to keep reminding yourself of. It's lazy in a way that's bordering on comical and needlessly violent in a way that proves that it was written by a man with interesting fantasies. You shouldn't be scared, but you are.

Another death earns you a few minutes of quiet, though you know the build up to the next one will be worse. The characters cry and fret over the dead body of their friend but the killer is nowhere to be seen, disappearing conveniently into the night. You're granted a scene of daylight but the sun comes and goes, and then the screen turns to dark violets and blues again and you're tensing up in your seat.

It's fine, at first— the pretty blonde girl is yielding a kitchen knife and walking around while her muscled boyfriend boards up the windows of the big house. Lottie shifts where she's sitting on the floor next to Laura Lee's legs and whispers about why they would lock themselves in instead of taking their chances outside, which is 'obviously the smartest thing to do'. You don't have time to process what she's saying because suddenly an ax is clawing its way through one of the windows and the characters are screaming and, well, so are you.

"Fuck!" You curse, jumping and landing yourself halfway into Van's lap, the softness of her thighs under your own, your back against her chest.

Van blinks, more startled by your reaction than the scene itself, her hands coming up to steady you and then immediately dropping back down a second after they brush over the cotton of your shirt. She lets out a shaky breath and does not think about how good your weight feels on top of her, because that would be a bad thought, a questionable thought. And it should not have been the first one to pop into her mind. Definitely not. That would be embarrassing. That would be bad.

You cover your eyes with one hand as the sounds of screaming come to a crescendo and hold one of her hands tightly with the other, mumbling sorry, sorry, sorry as if you're doing something wrong. As if you don't know that, even if you were, Van is incapable of being mad at you. Famously so. Everybody knows.

She looks around the room to the rest of the girls. No one is staring, too busy chewing popcorn and wrinkling their noses at the more gruesome special effects. Van turns her head back to you. A million thoughts rush in, overwhelming and unforgiving. Something about the soft tint of chapstick on your lips, the curve of your nose, the shape of your fingers. Things she's noticed before -Van is often greedy of all your details-, but not in this way, never from this close. She can smell your shampoo from here. Somewhere in the back of her mind, over the scent of honey and strawberries, she wonders if she's going insane.

Your body noticeably relaxes as the violence dissipates, your grasp on her hand loosening slightly. When you uncover your eyes, the final girl is clawing her way through the woods. You're unsure of how she got out of the house, but too comforted by the thought of the movie finally coming to an end to care.

Van is scared to say anything, scared to move— if she does, you might push yourself off of her, ignore her for the rest of the night because you're embarrassed. The thought is ridiculous. You'd never ignore her, you're not that kind of person, but it's what she would do. Except she'd probably never be in this position in the first place, because she'd never be brave enough to throw herself on your lap, even if she was as scared as you were. And that's just it anyway, it's not like you chose to do this. You didn't pick her. You would've found the same comfort in anyone's arms. Right? Van feels you shift closer, just slightly, like you're unaware of it. Right?

Her forehead falls on your shoulder as she thinks herself sick.

"It's scary, right?" You whisper, confusing her crisis for fear. Your fingers wrap around her bicep, soft and absentminded when they brush up and down her skin, trying to make her feel better.

Van feels her stomach flip, her hands twitch. In another world, she would wrap her arms around your waist and press her lips to your ear, mumble something stupid like if you say so, baby just to annoy you. Here, though, all she does is nod her head. She whispers back, "Yeah, it is."

She looks up at the screen, tries to be scared, to be invested. You relax further into her, personal and comfortable as if there's no one in the room but the two of you. Van blinks. She can't give you the name of the girl on the screen. A minute passes and your back straightens suddenly, but you don't rush to slide off her lap. You do it carefully, not because you want to but because you're worried about making her uncomfortable. Van wants to pull you back but she's never faced anything as daunting. She comforts herself with the thought that one day she will, a hungry attempt at manifesting or breaking a mental wishbone or something. For now, she follows you with her eyes and feels her anxiety melt away when you notice her staring and give her a smile. The movie's not yet over. She looks back. Who's the bad guy again?

─────✧･ﾟ: *✧･

NOW.

Van likes to pretend that she's a better cook than she is. Someone else might find it funny, annoying even, but you can't find it anything but cute. You love telling her that you've run out of food and watch her scoff and puff up her chest.

"I'll make you something out of nothing," she'll say. Then she'll open the fridge and bend at the waist, stare at said nothing for a solid two minutes before resurfacing and declaring that she's craving pizza from the place down the street, anyway, so there's no point in cooking.

At the grocery store the next day, you make sure to buy the essentials for the one pasta recipe that she does actually know how to make. Van likes to feel useful. And you like to indulge her every need, maybe a little too much.

You pick the sweetest looking tomatoes for the sauce, no real expertise behind your method— you're not exactly an amazing chef, either, but the two of you do just fine. Someone calls your name in the middle of bagging the last tomato and you turn to meet a face you had almost forgotten about.

"Katie Lopez?" Van asks again, staring at the folded piece of paper with the almost-stranger's number that you'd gotten without asking (a friendly gesture, you're pretty sure) after a slightly lengthy conversation that carried on even after your multiple anyway, I should probably get going's.

You're telling Van about the encounter while washing the tomatoes in the sink, sleeves rolled up. Your cheeks are warm with kisses like they always are when you make it back to her, as if she wants to reward you for it. You've been hers for so long, and she's still amazed at the fact that you come home to her. "Yes," you repeat. "Why is that so shocking?"

"It's not," she says, flicking the paper where it sits on the counter, kinder than her original need to ball it up or light it on fire or something even more dramatic. She moves to open the cabinet and starts putting away the canned goods you've brought. "I just didn't know you guys were close."

"We're not. She was just being polite."

Van hums. For a moment you think she'll let it go, but of course she won't. She doesn't like the thought of someone flirting with you when she's not there and she especially doesn't like the thought of that someone being Katie fucking Lopez, who's most memorable for fingering girls in the bathroom for most of your shared high school experience.

Van clears her throat and the cabinet closes with a thud louder than she intended, definitely not because she was caught up picturing you under Katie's gaze. She means to sound casual, but she's not trying very hard when she asks, "She ever try to get with you?"

You spare her a single glance, as if to check that she's serious. Of course she is. "What, in high school?" You shake your head, chuckling like the idea is funny. "No. She was more into the cheerleader type."

Van knows that you're right. Still, she squints her eyes at you, ginger hair leaning to one side when she tilts her head. "Is that a hint of resentment that I'm hearing?"

You've gotten good at knowing how to handle her jealousy. It's only fair, considering that she's gotten good at handling yours. Neither are ever that serious. "I was making a neutral observation."

You know she's creeping closer before you feel it. You know her too well. "Yeah?" She mutters, her hands on your hips as she presses herself to your back. Her nose is familiarly cold where it brushes against your neck.

You dry your hands and lean back on instinct, and she doesn't flinch at the added feeling of your weight. Van can be a lot like a brick wall, but you don't usually tell her that, unless you're feeling extra sweet and want her to grin like a cocky little shit for the rest of the day. "You were into that type, too."

Van scoffs, a soft gust of air on your neck. "I was into you," she says.

You hum, purely fucking with her. "Maybe."

"May— what the fuck are you talking about?" She pulls away just enough to prove that she's actually offended. And she is, because the idea is ludicrous and yeah, she's taking it personally. You can question Van about anything you want, except for the fact that she's been in love with you for more than half of her life. "When did you ever see me looking at cheerleaders?" She asks.

You and Van work for a lot of reasons. You work because you're different where it matters, enough to balance each other out, and you work because you're the same in everything else. You might've been just teasing her at first, but now the thought does that stupid thing where it starts to linger and -just like she had thought about you and Katie- you can almost picture it in your head, a younger Van standing on the soccer field, her eyes trailing over a girl's short uniform skirt. You roll your eyes, annoyed mostly at yourself. "Oh, don't act like you wouldn't have loved for them to shout your stupid name."

Van chuckles. She can read your train of thought like a book. She knows you too well. "Stupid name, huh? You're cute when you're jealous." And a little mean, too, but in a way that makes her weak in the knees. She won't be telling you that part. You already know, anyway.

You pull the hands that are wrapped around your waist away from you. Van lets you— she wants to see where this is going. "Not jealous," you mutter.

"No?" She teases, half-heartedly disappointed when you don't turn around to let her kiss you.

You look at her over your shoulder and then make eye contact with the piece of paper on the counter, recalling the words of your old classmate. Call me whenever. We should totally hang out. You're too old to be telling people you should 'totally hang out', but Katie Lopez hasn't changed much from the last time you saw her. You hold back the urge to wrinkle your nose at the memory of that same teenager-trying-to-be-cool smirk that she gave you throughout the whole interaction and hum thoughtfully, like you've been tempted. "Maybe I will call her—" you take one step towards the counter in a half assed attempt to reach for the paper but Van is unusually quick as she strides forward and takes it in her hands, tongue poking into the inside of her cheek as she rips it in two. "Van!" You gasp.

"What? Don't tell me you were actually gonna use it," she pouts. "You're breaking my heart, baby."

You try to take the two pieces away from her and all you earn is her breaking it in four, holding it above your head. You're laughing as you slap her shoulder. "God, you're so stupid."

Van raises her eyebrows, mismatched numbers wrinkled in her hand. She drops them on the counter in favor of cupping your face, pressing a contained short peck to your lips. Don't feel bad, she won't hold back for long. "Stupid like my name?"

"I love your name," you shake your head, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I love it. Just as long as it's mine to say."

It is yours, but you know that already.

─────✧･ﾟ: *✧･

THEN.

Van's room smells like the incense you got her. You wonder if she used it just to appease you because she knew you were coming, but it's a silly thought. Van likes you. You know this now. She takes everything you give her (your time, your smiles, your kisses) like it's a precious gift, so you can't imagine that she would neglect an actual gift.

Your grandmother said you should light the incense before a game, to bring you good luck and calm your nerves, and you're not ashamed to admit that you bought Van her own pack the very next day. Everything makes you think about her lately, especially this kind of thing. You're not even sure that the incense works, but why wouldn't you share it with her? She deserves all of it— good luck, a stomach free of nerves, at the very least a nice lingering scent if your grandma's beliefs turn out to be a myth. But you hope they don't.

Your girlfriend is anxious more often than you are, but never really about a game. Van knows that she's good at soccer. She's nervous about other things. Keeping her side of the house clean, being able to afford Sinéad O'Connor tickets, what her mom's mood will be like tomorrow, English assignments but only because she thinks the professor is the coolest guy alive and she wants to impress him even if she won't admit it. And lately, there's another thing. She worries about whether you'll look at her one day and realize that you're too good for her.

You know about some of her anxieties, but clearly not all of them. She can picture your reaction if she were to share the last one with you, how your face would scrunch up and you'd look at her with eyes so loving and so sad. She can almost hear you ask, soft and patient, why would you think that? And she wouldn't know what to say. There's comfort in the fact that the worry is there, but it's not constant. Van only worries about that when you're gone. When you're in front of her, or sitting next to her in class, or talking to her on the phone, it's hard to imagine that you'll ever stop liking her. She takes in your smile, your laughter, your sparkling eyes and she can't think about anything else. You make all of it go away. If you asked her, she would tell you that she thinks the incense works, but only because it came from you.

She can smell it faintly from where she is now, but there are a hundred other things overwhelming her more— the feeling of your legs on either side of her, the sound of your bracelets clinking together when you move your arms to rest them next to her head and cage her in, the sight of you leaning in to kiss her. It's easy to say, she's only been dating you for three months, but Van is sure that she will never get tired of this.

She hums against your lips, something too close to a moan. Her cheeks are red when you pull away, and you're not sure if it was the sound she made or the regretful, kind of embarrassing thing she has to tell you that gave her that reaction. "My mom will be home in, like, five minutes," she says, raspy and breathy.

Her voice distracts you. Your lips are tingling. "Okay," you say, nodding your head even though it takes you another three seconds to actually process what she said.

This is where you sit up, break apart. Neither of you move.

You smile and lean back down to kiss her again, stomach fluttering from the sound of her giggling as you tilt your head back. How are you supposed to stop when she's so fucking— so cute, so handsome, so in love with you. You've never felt so secure of another person's feelings for you before, but it's impossible to doubt Van. She makes you confident, makes sure that you know at all times. Might as well be saying I love you, I love you, I love you between each kiss that she pulls you back into.

It takes everything in you to break away from her, but you have to. "Fuck, okay. I gotta go," you mutter. You have to. You'll see her tomorrow. It should be embarrassing how greedy she makes you.

She watches as you sit up on her lap, your skirt bunched up over the crotch of her jeans. You must notice her looking, because you're laughing like you can read her mind when she huffs and covers her face with her arms, her lips pursed as she suppresses an even more embarrassing sound than the one she made before.

"I'll see you tomorrow," you insist, like saying it outloud will make leaving easier. You stand up and brush your hands over your hair, flattening the flyaways. Then you grab your backpack from the floor (don't think about the pretty pin she got you a few days ago, because it'll make you want to kiss her again) and walk over to her window.

You could take your chances with the front door, but you don't want to. Van was afraid that her neighbors would see you and innocently mention it to her mom, say something like oh, I saw that Vanessa's friend came by the other day. Van wishes it could be left at that, but her mom is rarely that simple. She looked so worried as she told you about it, so ashamed. You kissed her cheek and promised yourself you'd get good at climbing.

She comes closer as you climb to the other side, getting your footing on the familiar edge of the wall, and she hisses when you let go of the window railing to reach over and cup her face. You don't have to pull for her to bend down and let you kiss her, your thumbs brushing over her cheeks.

"Please don't fall," she's saying as you make your way down.

You look up at her and smile, and Van thinks you're so pretty that she misses the mischievousness behind it. "Have a little faith in me— oh, fuck!"

Van flinches, bumping her head on the window with how quick she moves to look down at you. The sound of your laughter makes her realize your hands never left their safe grip. Her shoulders relax. "Oh my God, fuck you," she scoffs, though she's too relieved for it to have any real bite.

"What were you even gonna do?" You ask, still giggling.

She shrugs, eyebrows furrowed. "I don't know, fucking— grab you or something."

"Your arms are too short to reach me from up there."

"I take offense to that."

"Well, I'm sorry," you sigh, tilting your head. "Doesn't make it any less true."

"I better not hear you asking for my short arms to carry you after practice tomorrow," Van huffs, said arms now crossed over her chest.

You look up at her in disbelief, raising your eyebrows. "I have literally never asked you for that, you always offer."

She shifts slightly where she stands, moves her weight from one leg to the other, caught. "Because I can do it," she mutters.

"Yes, I know. You're very strong, baby."

Van rolls her eyes, choosing to believe that you're teasing her because if she believes that you're being genuine she might die.

Your feet hit the ground with a thud. You do a silly curtsy, as if to say ta-da! and Van thinks you're so cute she's certain that she'll die. You give her one last grin and blow her a kiss before sneaking away from her house into the night.

Van goes to bed with her cheeks aching from smiling, her bed smelling of your perfume, and the faint sound of her brain screaming (terrified, celebrating) you are fucked!

─────✧･ﾟ: *✧･

NOW.

"I wish I'd asked you to prom," your voice is muffled by her sweatshirt, lips partly pressed against her shoulder.

Van snorts, looking down at you. "What?"

"You never went," you explain, and you have that look on your face, like you've been thinking about this for weeks. Like you could cry. Van presses pause on the (admittedly) shitty action film she'd chosen and lets you try to get your thoughts out. "I really wanted you there. You would've liked it."

She lets out a sigh through her nose, a hand coming to rest against your cheek. "I really don't know if that's true, honey," she says honestly.

You straighten your back a little, a tiny frown on your face like you get when you've been challenged. "You would've liked it. You love to dance and the DJ was, like, surprisingly good. And Ms. Dawson actually said yes to a dance with Peter K., even though that was highly inappropriate now that I think about it. But it was funny at the time— and Natalie snuck in a bottle of vodka."

"Yeah?" She asks, awfully endeared even when she's heard the story a million times before. You'd told her all about it the day after prom, your voice groggy and sleepy over the phone. She had felt lame about having missed it, but a thousand times better as soon as she picked up the phone, giggling in her bed like a fool at every detail you gave her.

You wrap your fingers around the hand on your cheek, press a kiss against her palm. "You would've loved it," you say, sounding somehow more convinced than before. "I should've asked you."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I was a dick," you insist. "I was a coward—"

"Hey, no. No," Van sits up from her lazy posture, two thin wrinkles between her eyebrows when she frowns. They look good on her. You remember when they weren't there, and it always makes you a little emotional. "Don't say that. You weren't."

"But I was," you try to reason, stubborn to a fault. "I'm not, like, condemning myself. I'm stating a fact."

Her frown deepens. "Well, I don't like it. And I don't think it's a fact."

You didn't mean for this to turn into an argument, but you're not exactly thinking about that at the moment. It happens— you've let the thought saturate in your brain for too long and now you're stuck thinking that you're right. "Why are you arguing with me right now?" You ask, not being petty but genuinely wanting to know.

Van huffs a frustrated breath. "Because I thought about asking you to prom for years, okay?" She says, crawling with embarrassment. "I told myself I would over and over again and then I fucking didn't. If you were a coward, what does that make me?"

You pause, guilt swirling in your stomach because you realize all at once that you've been poking on a tender bruise you didn't even know existed. "Van," you say softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

She sighs, almost a chuckle. She can be so mean to herself, so condescending about her own feelings. You know she's not laughing at you, or disregarding you in any way— it's just what she does when she feels like she's humiliated herself. Especially when you're there to watch, looking at her so kindly when she's certain she deserves none of it. "Yeah, well. That was intentional," she mutters.

You let her look away from you for a moment before you push yourself onto your knees, placing one on each side of her hips. She welcomes you like she always does when you come to sit on her lap now, her hands on your waist and her face falling forward to press kisses over your collarbone. A thoughtless motion, automatic.

"Sweet girl," you hum, guiding her head up with a careful hand, smiling when you meet her eyes. "We should've gone out dancing alone. Would've been way more fun."

Van breathes out a laugh. She wonders if she'll cry, and feels like she could. "Yeah," she agrees.

"I would've said yes, you know. I'm not blaming you for not asking me, I get why you didn't. I really do. But it's important to me that you know that." You brush a strand of hair behind her ear. It's pretty, and getting long. In no time she'll be asking you to wash it over the sink and trim it with your fancy hair scissors, like you've been doing since you got back together when you were twenty five after a stupid argument that led to a two years long break. It wasn't a good time for either of you, but you don't regret it. You have the rest of your life to live with her. Still, there will always be things like this— arguments about deep buried shame, fears that might never go away, moments you missed that other high school sweethearts didn't because their worries weren't like yours. It's sad, but not inescapable all the time. You and Van don't blame each other for any of it. But sometimes you need to be reminded of that.

"I know," she nods, her voice in that soft, quiet tone that you love but rarely get with how passionate she is. It's not a hardship, you love that just as much. "I think maybe that's why— why I was so freaked out. Like, if you said yes, it would become real."

You nod and chuckle a little, sweet and airy. "And you'd have to actually start to date me? Yeah, I would be scared," you joke.

Van buries her face in your chest with a groan. "That's all I fucking wanted," she says, feeling too honest to play along like she usually would.

You let her stay there for a while, her nose brushing against the rise and fall of your chest. Wanna be here forever, she'd told you once, with cold fingers sneaking under your shirt, more than a little drunk. You have been making fun of her about it for ages, but it tugs at something different today. It makes you pull her softly with a hand on the back of her neck, just enough to press your lips against hers, not wanting to deny her any of your warmth that she might crave.

Van hums against your lips, moving where you want her when your hands guide her own from your waist down to your hips. You press your chest against hers like you know she likes and she moans into your mouth, a hand moving to press against your back and force you closer.

"I'm sorry I didn't ask you," you mumble when she lets you pull apart, speaking close to her ear as you kiss her cheek, lips soft over old acne scars and sunspots.

Van shakes her head. "I don't care," she promises, smiling like she does when she's about to say something corny. "Look at me now," she shrugs, fake humble. "I got the girl in the end."

You laugh against her smirk and kiss her until she's lifting your hips and pushing you down on the couch, your back against the worn pillows, a hand on the back of your head in case you bump it on the arm rest. You like when she moves you around just to show off, reminds you of when you were younger and she'd flex her muscles just because she knew you were looking. She might not be the same type of strong now, but she can still pull out some tricks when she wants to. And with you, Van often wants to.

She tilts her head back when you try to pull her in for another kiss, sighing as she gets comfortable on top of you. She almost gives up the act when you pout at her, blinking your pretty eyes, but instead she leans her weight on one hand next to your head and says, "That is, of course, if she doesn't leave me for Katie Lopez's magic fingers."

Van expects you to roll your eyes, slap her shoulder so she can say ouch! and dramatically rest her hand over the wounded spot. Instead, you slide your hand over hers where it's resting against your hip, intertwining your fingers together and smiling pretty, tilting your head. "Mmh, but I have the best fingers right here."

Van scoffs, playing amused rather than speechless because she's trying not to show you how much your words get to her. It's embarrassing how proud it makes her, how quickly she melts into the palm of your hand when you as much as imply that she's good at something, that you would pick her over everyone else, that you want her like she wants you. Praise from others makes her smile and say thank you, but praise from you reaches her core, makes her dizzy. Her lips feel dry and her tongue pokes out absentmindedly to lick them as you guide her hand up. Van barely registers the movement, too busy watching your face— how beautiful that she gets to see it all the time now, that she knows all the details like you know hers.

Her fingertips come to rest against your lips and her breath stutters as she tries desperately to maintain any sense of coolness or dignity or fucking something while you kiss each one, soft and attentive. She's thinking, is she insane for finding it as thrilling as she does, even after all these years? Do you know what you do to her? You can't possibly know, Van almost decides, but then you part your lips to slide two of her fingers into your mouth and she thinks that you do. You definitely know.

"F—fuck," she breathes out, and tries to remember her original plan to tease you but can't recall your old classmate's name. "You trying to butter me up?" She asks, her chuckle trembling but deep, from the back of her throat.

Her fingers slip from your mouth with a soft pop, and Van groans. You hum, "Is it working?"

You're mean, evil. You're the sweetest thing she's ever seen. Two things can be true at once. You're a dream, and you're not like this for anyone else. The thought echoes through her skull, warm and infectious. Van smirks. "Yeah."

[lains-reality]

hello! i rlly love your blog and the way you explain things

how do i just apply? whenever i do i stress that i’m doing it wrong because i feel overwhelmed by the amount of info and things i have to make sure i’m doing right then i spiral and over consume again. i don’t want to rely on tumblr anymore.

what’s the simplest way to apply all of this and just “manifest” (i don’t rlly like this word bc it implies there’s a process or that i’m trying to get) my dream life? thank you

hi! ty!

it takes some courage! i also read a lot as a way to feel secure, but eventually i just got tired and just decided 'i have no more fears from this day on! done with this!' and i made it a practise to stop avoiding myself whenever something comes up

its all very natural, i can't say how you'll just finally decide that your over this lol

"whenever i do i stress that i’m doing it wrong because i feel overwhelmed by the amount of info"

well, learn how to stop yourself in the moment. you're putting too much pressure on your character! it only know what it knows now, it will not accept anything outside of what it already knows! thats why you leave it alone. read all you want to read, but stop when you feel like you have to. like you must. let yourself relax.

"i don’t want to rely on tumblr anymore."

good! keep going!

"what’s the simplest way to apply all of this"

just do it. try it and see. something that is a recurent theme in all the posts and book i read, is to try it. experiment. just for this one moment, let all the worries go. promise to never make problems for yourself again. you've given up troubles now, no more. just test it and see. surrender. let the mind cry and scream, for this moment, you won't allow it to deter you from freedom.

i'll give a list of stuff that helped me

theres only now -> stop bringing the past to now, learn to sit in the present moment

stop avoiding emotions, sit with the fear, discomfort etc

you already are Self! nothing can undo that!

be patient

non attachment (or detachment)

experiment - take something you already know and test it

question everything

find out what are the stories you want, what the desire will supposedly give you

it is not necessary to get rid of thoughts or images just stop deriving identity from them

"am i arguing for my limitations?"

soon more lovely thoughts and images will appear in your awareness and you can choose what you want

can you outgrow it? not you. observe it? not you. in the absense of it, you don't dissapear? not you.

be okay with not having it. get to a place where no one and no thing can disturb you (and your happiness and peace)

just see how absurd all this shit is. like i was born? what was it like before i was born? why is it normal to hear your voice in your head? no one knows what tomorrow is but we all worry abt it, where tf does the voice in your head come from? how can we actually identify feelings, what if the feeling pride isn't actually pride and you've been lied to? do you know how crazy this is for an infant?! we say we are an [x] person and that changes and so we say we are an [y] person, so who are we?? if we can change like that? being a human is confusing, seek the truth out and question all

just start to disidentify as the body-mind. when you disidentify as the body-mind you'll start to feel better as all the pressure you put on your character falls away. this will intice you to keep going as you feel freer!

have fun!! go and live life!! appriciate what you have now - this is all expressing the character, omnipr3sence, perfectly! you'll start to see "i barely thought abt x 2 days ago and now i see it here lol" "i was worrying about y and now i see it here too" "oh so this comes along with being the character too, maybe i should change that story"

you're in your own dream, see it as your dream and you'll start seeing the connections.

no need to convince the character, just move on. let yourself doubt this 'reality'

disclaimer: i'm still learning too! so please keep practising and have your own epiphanies!

reading

habit

no need to convince

behaviour

[bubuslutty]

Day 3: Cat Crisis

this is part 3, all parts

pairing: demon/angel!fem reader x 141

word count: 2.5k

tags: a bit of lusting cuz my boys r hot, naughty moments but nothing nsfw, proofread by me so sorry for any mistakes

warnings: smoking

summary: Kuromi gets stuck on a tree, Angel almost has a heart attack and she finally meets Simon, properly.

a/n: this is just fun and silly really. I hope u enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it 💖 ALSO!! VERY IMPORTANT!! I can't seem to be able to tag some of you, even if the username is correct, so please check your settings.

Angel has to admit, she likes this assignment quite a lot. It was fun, living in a nice house in a quiet neighbourhood, with interesting and fascinating neighbours. At least, the ones that live to her left because her neighbours to her right are an old couple who barely make any noise, you'd think nobody even lives in their house.

That trip to Tesco was more fun than she expected. Turns out that Johnny was funnier than she imagined, nothing in his file could have prepared her for Soap's colourful character and hilarious jokes. And Kyle was as charming and intelligent and quick to joke as she'd imagined.

And Price was calm and collected, making sure that the two men didn't get in trouble in the store. But it didn't make hanging out with him any less fun, oh he was plenty fun, Angel knows it, and can practically taste it. It's just going to take a bit of work to make him open up. Angel can't wait to start working with him.

About the actual shopping, the men proved themselves useful and very helpful. Angel was grateful for this because buying food and cooking was a bit of a hassle and she gets overwhelmed with the stupid amount of choices for the same fucking thing. They recommended certain snacks, drinks, food combos, and things easy and quick to cook, and even helped her pick out the freshest fruits and vegetables. Eating was hard, Angel has no idea how humans do it every day.

When they paid for everything, Angel was pleased and surprised when Price went ahead and grabbed her shopping for her without saying anything. She told him he didn't have to, that she could carry her things by herself with no problem, but he claimed it was the least a gentleman could do.

No matter what Angel told him, he refused to give them to her until they reached the car and he told her to dig inside his pocket to unlock the car and open the trunk. "Your Captain is so stubborn," Angel complained to the other two men, with a pout on her face.

"Tell me about it." Gaz sighed, making her giggle in disbelief.

Now she was happily suckling on an orange-flavoured popsicle, sitting on her dining table, facing the garden's opened door. She was enjoying the sunlight and breeze on her skin when a very loud scream startled her. Angel nearly dropped her popsicle when her eyes zeroed on the big tree at the back of her garden, and Kuromi right at the top, screaming for help.

Angel gasped in horror, throwing her unfinished popsicle in the trash and running outside her garden, barefoot. Angel has no idea if her cat has the same sort of abilities as she does. She is immortal, that she’s sure of, but whether Kuromi can get hurt or not is a mystery to Angel. And she doesn't feel like testing that theory today at all.

"Kuromi! How did you get up there?!" Angel was actually panicking, as she looked at the many branches the tree had and just how high her stupid cat decided to climb. How the hell is she supposed to get her cat down without using her powers to do something so ridiculous that the Wish Office will phone her, and ask if she's out of her mind?

"Kuromi, you stupid fucking idiot, you'll die!" Angel was now on the verge of tears. She loved her stupid cat to death, and would rather die instead of watching her kitty get hurt. Angel approached the tree, squinting her eyes and looking up at the branches and thick leaves, seeing if she could climb up.

Angel was so preoccupied with trying to figure out how to save her cat, that she didn't notice Ghost smoking while leaning against the door that separates their kitchen and garden. He had a plain grey zip-up hoodie, a pair of loose black sweats and his skull mask on, hunched up on his nose bridge, keeping his lower face out so he could easily smoke.

He silently watched Angel argue with her cat. He knows a bit about his neighbour from Soap and Gaz, and he has to admit, not only she's pretty but intelligent. Even though his guys seemed to like her, Ghost doesn't easily trust people and she's no exception. He kept watching her struggle, on the verge of tears, until he decided to put his cigarette out.

Ghost silently walked down their garden while lowering his mask back down. It was so stupid how low the fence was. It just reached his waist and it would be so easy for him to jump into her garden. And that's exactly what he did, jumping over the fence with one hand on it for support.

Angel slightly jumped when he stood next to her. She didn't hear him come over, and she just stared up at the man with panicked eyes. She knew he was Simon, the pretty blue eyes were the same along with the pale eyelashes.

Simon was not even looking at her, he was looking up at the tree where Kuromi was. Angel took the opportunity to really look at him. He was absolutely fucking huge, for no reason at all. And he had sleeve tattoos on his veiny arms, Angel thanked fate that Simon decided to roll up his sleeves because his tattoos are beautiful. And what's even prettier, is the skin of his neck and collarbone. He wasn't wearing anything underneath the zip-up hoodie and Angel felt her mouth water.

Simon finally looked down at her, and Angel immediately opened her mouth to speak, "Do you think you can help me get Kuromi down, please?"

Simon gazed down at her hopeful eyes, and simply nodded, "Stand back."

Angel nodded, "Thank you so much!"

She stepped away and watched the man get closer to the tree. "Be careful!" Angel said, her hands clasped against her chest, watching Simon work his way up the tree quickly.

"Kuromi, you hurt him and I'll fist-fight you!" Angel shouted at her cat, who hissed back down at her owner.

Simon couldn't help but chuckle at the woman's antics and when he knew if he climbed any higher, no branch would support his weight, he broke one with his bare hand and used it as a makeshift ladder for the cat. He stretched his body as much as he could, "Come on, kitty, get over here." Simon crooned.

To his utter surprise, the cat listened and started slowly scooting over towards him on a shaky branch. Kuromi successfully reached Simon's branch and held onto it very tightly and Simon gently lowered the cat down towards him. As soon as she was easily reachable, he grabbed the cat by the scruff of her neck and hugged her to his chest with one hand.

"Alright, now how can I get down with you?..." Simon mumbled and hummed when he got an idea. He hugged the cat with one arm and used the other to zip off his hoodie, using his thick thighs for support so he wouldn't fall.

Angel watched with awe how Simon managed to completely take off his zip-up hoodie, leaving his glorious amazing upper half naked, and bundled up Kuromi in the hoodie. Simon glanced down at Angel and smirked under his mask, "Catch!"

Angel literally screamed and he laughed, almost tearing up. "You dickhead!" Angel shouted, ripping grass from the ground out of anger and throwing it towards his direction.

Simon made a makeshift fanny pack using the hoodie's sleeves, securing Kuromi against his chest while he carefully climbed down. When he wasn't too far from the ground, he decided to jump off and roll to safety, with the cat still clutched against his chest.

Angel almost fainted and immediately ran to Simon as he stood up, dusting off his knees. "My baby!" She cried, grabbing her cat from the hoodie and kissing the kitty over and over on her small face.

Simon watched the woman with amusement as she checked over her cat and finally looked at Simon, her cat still in his arms. "Thank you so much for saving the life of my dumbass cat. But if you scare me like that again, I will make you regret it." She said, pressing a finger to Simon's naked chest.

He glanced down at her finger and met her eyes cooly, "You're welcome."

"You actually scared me so much, probably even more than Kuromi did!" Angel sighed, nuzzling her face in her cat's fur. Now Simon actually feels a bit guilty for scaring her and scratched the back of his neck.

"Do you want a cup of coffee?" He offered.

Angel lifted her head, surprised, "Cup of coffee?"

"To apologise."

Angel blinked at the man and cracked a small smile, "I think I'd like that."

Simon gave her an awkward nod and jumped over the fence and turned to her, hoodie held in his hand. "Come on."

Angel looked at the fence and then at her cat still in her arms, "Uhm, okay, hold Kuromi for me."

She walked closer to the fence, holding Kuromi so Simon could grab her. But Simon dodged the cat and held her by the armpits, just like she was holding her cat and easily lifted her over the fence. Angel squealed and wrapped her legs around his waist and wrapped one arm around his neck while the other was holding Kuromi against her chest.

Simon froze, his hands hovering over her back.

"What are you guys doing?"

Angel and Simon whipped their heads towards the voice and saw Soap holding a basket full of clean laundry, ready to hang it outside to dry while Gaz held a smaller basket of colourful pegs.

"Uhm, nothing!" Angel let out a nervous laugh and jumped off Simon, rushing inside their home with her cat in her arms.

Soap and Gaz glanced at each other and then back at Simon, "Why are you shirtless?" Gaz asked.

"Had to use my hoodie for the cat." Was Simon's dry answer and he walked inside, leaving Soap and Gaz with even more questions.

He found Angel awkwardly standing in the middle of their kitchen, and noticed that she was barefoot. "Wait here." He said and left the kitchen.

Angel took the opportunity to look around the kitchen. It was tidy and didn't have any plants or any sort of decoration. The fridge did have some menus and coupon codes for Domino's on it. However, next to the kettle, there was an impressive coffee machine, the sort that's expensive with many settings, fancy buttons and cool gadgets.

Angel barely drinks coffee, almost never, but now she was excited to see Simon work the cool machine.

She heard footsteps and turned around. Ghost was back and dressed in a t-shirt now, he also had a pair of slippers in his hands. "Wear these." He placed the pair next to her feet and Angel did as he said, heart fluttering in her chest, how silly.

"What would you like?" He asked, turning around and washing his hands in the sink.

"What?" Angel said, staring at his ass, completely distracted.

"Coffee. What sort of coffee would you like?" He turned back around, just as Angel ripped her eyes from his ass.

"Uhm," Angel gulped, she had no idea if he caught her staring or not but she wanted to scream either way. "I don't drink coffee that much, so make me something sweet, please."

Ghost stared at her silently, which made Angel nervous. Did she say something weird?

"What's wrong?"

Simon shrugged, "Nothing." and went straight to work, preparing mugs and pressing this button and that button on the coffee machine.

Both Angel and Kuromi were intensely staring at the beeping sleek machine and Simon smiled when he noticed. "What does Kuromi mean?"

"The name itself or who is she named after?" Angel ripped her eyes away from the coffee machine and looked over at Simon.

"Both."

Angel smiled, "Well, according to Google, Kuromi in Japanese means 'black beauty', but I've named her after a cartoon character whose name is Kuromi. Actually, Let me show you."

Simon glanced at the woman as she dug her hand in her pocket and retrieved her phone, opening google."That's Kuromi," Angel said, making Simon lean closer so he can see better.

"What type of creature is that?" Simon asked, squinting his eyes and trying to guess what type of animal the character was.

"It's actually a white bunny wearing a black jester hat! See! It even has a little pink skull! And instead of having a fluffy tail, she has a devil's tail, isn't she cute?" Angel said, Simon looked at her then back down at the cat in his arms.

"But your cat isn't a rabbit." Simon said.

"I know! But look! She's white with black ears! And a black tail! And she's mischievous just like Kuromi! And I gave her a pink collar with a pink skull!" Angel said, practically vibrating next to Simon, eyes big and literally glowing.

Simon tilted his head down and lifted the kitty's chin up, seeing the shiny skull dangling off the collar. He turned the skull over, reading Angel's full name and phone number.

"I can see the similarities." Simon hummed, giving the cat scratches, making her purr.

"There's another similarity, actually." Angel grinned.

"Really?" Simon said, still scratching the cat.

"Between Kuromi and you!" Angel said, and Simon lifted his head, meeting her eyes, he raised a brow, prompting her to spit it out.

"The skulls, silly!" Angel giggled.

Oh, yeah. The skulls.

Simon unconsciously reached for his mask but stopped his hand before it caressed the hand painted skull. The machine beeped and Simon removed the mug from under the machine, opening the cupboards to get sugar.

"Can we join you for a cup of coffee?" Soap suddenly asked, entering the kitchen, followed by Gaz.

"Of course, this is your house." Angel smiled and Gaz immediately ran to the cat in her arms, cooing and petting the little thing.

"And you have to tell us how you ended up on him while he was shirtless, which he wasn't, earlier in the day." Soap said while getting snacks.

"Okay, and did you know that your friend Simon is actually an evil little shit?" Angel said, as if it was the most shocking thing ever while she sat down at the table next to Gaz, who was holding her cat in his arms.

"Ghost, call me Ghost." Simon quickly corrected her.

"Ghost actually scared the shit out of me, I thought I was going to die!" Angel continued without missing a beat.

"You thought you were going to die? What the hell happened while I was in the shower?" Price said, walking inside the kitchen, wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of shorts, hair still wet.

"Oh my days, John, sit down and let me tell you what he did!" Angel groaned, patting the other seat next to her.

"Well, alright then." John shrugged and sat down.

Simon sighed, placing her mug down and getting more mugs out to make coffee for everyone, "Fucking hell…"

tag list (pls ask to be added or removed): @obiwankenobis-lap @goapgrim @smalldemonlover @loveyhoneydovey @cutiecusp @pinkwigonmytv @mandythemint @itsberrydreemurstuff @tapioca-marzipan @fruitymoonbeams-blog @poohkie90 @chaoticevilbakugo @anubis-reed @thefairybird @skytacvia @marytvirgin @cynicalmnm @maechanexe @t0jis-worm @1800imgay @4ndjelij4 @multitargaryen @lilpothoscuttings @mysticalpandabear

[thequietkid-moonie]

Sora Naegino, Sunny, Kaori Miyazono, Tamaki Suoh, Monika, Asuma Mutsumi as they are when they are jealous.

Jealousy Headcanons

[ Sora, Sunny, Kaori, Tamaki, Monika, Mutsumi ]

[ Kaleido Star ] [ Omori ] [ Your lie in April ] [ Ouran High School Host Club ] [ Doki Doki Literature Club ] [ Kiss him not me ]

My dear, half of the characters you chose aren't even jealous how im supouse to work with that? 😂 Anyways, I hope you enjoy it

Sora Naegino

Sora is always so cheerful, she is totally the type to see the bright side of the things, it doesn't matter what problem she encounter she always try to find a solution with determination

However being in a relationship with you make her flustered and make her a little shy at first, but as more time you two pass together the more comfortable she gets and she doesn't get shy anymore

Sora isn't easy to get jealous, again if there is a problem she doesn't let herself get overwhelmed or exceeded for it, she has a lot of determination and that is why even if she start feeling jealous or nervous about you being with others she is quickly to reasure herself that is nothing to worry about

Although is more probably that she gets jealous over you at the start of the relasionship or even before that, when you two were just friends but she already liked you, is back then when she gets jealous whenever you were close or even touchy with someone, she felt jealous and a little bit of envy but she didn't really realice what she was feeling or why, so she tries to brush it off and just focus on her training, although it didn't always work because the image the you being affectionate with someone else doesn't leave her mind

As well, something that used to make her jealous is seeing you having fun with others, although this doesn't troubled her much because she goes to you and tries to enter in the conversation, not for being possessive nor intrusive, genuinely wanting to share it with all of you, and since Sora is really cheerful and little by little she were winning the care of everyone it won't be too much trouble for her

The main reason of why she got jealous is because she wanted to be the one you were sharing those moments, being the one you were affectionate to but at that moment she didn't realice it yet, she can have troubles understanding some things or can be oblivous sometimes so that is why it take her a while to comprehend her feelings (probably at the end were thanks to her friends' help that she finally understand), and after she realice that that is what she wants she doesn't really get jealous again because is so easy to go and ask for it (not directly, specially if you are shy, but she will find a way to express herself)

Also, once you two are on a relasionship is less probable that she gets jealous because being in a relationship give her that sense of security that if she want to spend time with you she just has to ask for it

Sunny

Sunny is someone who doesn't express much, just to those that are really close to him (mainly Basil and Mari), so even when you two are on a relasionship he still doesn't say much, he express himself by other ways that he let you know little by little, also once you win his fully trust he becomes pretty clingy to you

Sunny isn't someone who gets jealous, or at least no easily, however he has a little bit of bad self-steem since his sister is everything he isn't (and his perfeccionism doesn't help). He doesn't get jealous over other people trying to make a move on you, that just bother him and make him uncomfortable, as well when others get affectionate with you doesn't bother him either, he is used to his friends being that way from time to time (specially Kel and Hero), although if is someone outside of the group it could make him uncomfortable

What could make him jealous is if you talk about some else a lot or a little too excited, he tries to endure it but the more you talk the more he feels jealous, Sunny doesn't think much of himself and he can't help but compare himself to others from time to time, so you talking a lot of someone else it makes him feel bad. Even when it bothers him he doesn't want to interrupt you, but his body language talks for him with an annoyed expresion on his face and looking like his is trying to hide himself, even avoiding looking directly at you (depending in how jealous and uncomfortable he is)

Also, he won't admin it out loud but he is jealous of his sister, it isn't like he wants to be like her or that he is envious of her but he feels jealous when you pay a lot of attention to her, Mari is so charming and she naturaly drag attention to her, besides everyone likes her, he likes her too she is always so kind to him and is always supporting him but he can't help to feel jealous when you focus on her, is just that his sister is the complete opposite of him and it troubles him, he knows you loves him nonetheless but still. Whenever you are paying too much attention to Mari or she is too close to you he becomes a little possesive, like steping closer to you, holding your hand or even cuddle you if he can (depending in how jealous he is or on what your where doing and how much attention you put on her). Although, even when Sunny tries to don't show his jealousy Mari is smart and she knows her brother really well so she will understand and try to leave the two of you alone

The jealousy make Sunny feel frustrate but he will never take it against you, he tries to handle it by his own but still search for some comfort, he tries to spend some time with Basil or Mari (depending on what made him jealous), and he will crave your comfort too, again he won't say much but you can tell that he is feeling down, he wants to have your attention again and be in your arms so a big and tight hug can help, and if you decide to cuddle him it would be much better

Kaori Miyazono

Kaori is always so carefree and cheerful, is difficult to see her being troubled by things like this, however Kaori knows herself pretty well so most of the time she know what she feels and why, is just that she doesn't like to show it to others too much

It would be more probable her past herself to get jealous since she used to be pretty introvert and didn't drag attention to herself, but now that she just let herself be free she doesn't have much problem with it

She isn't easy to get jealous, or at least not seriously because she could bring it in a joking manner, like tell your friends that she will get jealous if they continue taking your attention from her, but normally doesn't goes far from that

She doesn't really mind you going out with other people or if you are affectionate with others, she trust you and she knows you won't do something to betray her, however if you cross the line and get a little too affectionate with someone else she will force you to make it up for her

When she actually gets jealous is either when you had been apart from each other for a while because one of you were too busy or when she is feeling specially bad, either mentally or physical, and what could make her jealous is that you are paying a lot of attention to someone else, it make her jealous but gets a little troubled about taking your attention

She handles her jealousy in a peculiar way, first of all she gets a little mad and acts pretty childish while complaining about everything (not just about what made her jealous) and doesn't have to be directly towards you, she does it with her friends (mainly Kousei) and with you just if you directly talk to her, just before getting a little sad and more quiet about the whole thing, and is until then when she seriously confront you about it

She tries to cover up her jealous and make it seem like is something else, but once she calms down she talk to you more directly, she has problems to express herself but she still tries her best to do it

After she gets jealous she will crave for your company and comfort so being just the two of you and cuddling for a while will help her get back to her cheerful self again

Tamaki Suoh

Tamaki is really open and loud with his love for you, he doesn't see why he will have to hide it and as long as you are okay with it or doesn't bother you he won't stop, so it will be difficult to anyone to don't notice that the two or you are together (or at least that he is interested in you)

Tamaki is really clingy, always wanting to be by your side and he gets really sad when you ask him to calm down or for time alone

Tamaki is pretty easy to get jealous, and even so he could be pretty oblivous of his own feelings too, he knows it upset him and he knows that the other person who is trying something with you (or that is what he thinks) is bothering him but if someone ask him he won't say that is jealousy

Since he is pretty clingy he likes to have your attention most of the time, so is when you are directly ignoring him and putting more attention to someone else, even if you didn't mean to ignore him or you are talking about something important he gets jealous

He will try to take back your attention to him by getting affectioned or saying that he has something to show you, sometimes even try to enter in the convesation or show that he can do whatever the other person is doing too, he will stop if you ask him to but will be really sad for a long time (until you talk to him and reasure him that you aren't mad)

Also, something that make him super jealous is when others are getting close and/or affectionate with you, he can totally understand if they are your family but when it comes to friend it bothers him a little, just because he wants to be the one reciving your love and not them but he tries to keep at minimun his comments because he doesn't want to make you upset (specially if you already had scold him for it) although he can't help but make a disgusted face. However if is someone he doesn't know or someone of the club (the twins probably) he will step in to directly confronting them while separate you from them

However, when it comes to someone flirting with you more than jealousy it bothers him and waste no time to going to your side and put his arm in your shoulders/waist and ask you who is the person you were talking with, acting just like he does it in the club

Also, he doesn't handle his jealousy too well since he handle it in a pretty childish way, complaining about whatever is making him jealous with Haruhi and Kyoya (because they are the only willing to hear him rant about it) and with you he will act like a kicked puppy and look at you with teary eyes and he won't stop until you comfort him

Monika

Monika has problems interacting with others from time to time, being nervous of making a misstep specially for how perfeccionist she can get from time to time, but being in a relationship with you and knowing that you love her make har feel a lot better

Monika is not easy to get jealous and since you to are officialy together give her a sense of security, besides she thinks that if she gets jealous is like she were doubting you or that you will see it that way and she doesn't want to give that impression

It isn't probably that she will get jealous over the others girls of the club, after spending so much time all of them had shared a lot of themselfs so she is confident that they will respect her relasionship with you (although Sayori could be pretty clingy and affectionate so she is more probably to make Monika a little jealous)

Most of the time if she start to feel nervous about you being with other people she herself tries to reasure her that if you are spending time with other peolple doesn't mean that you will leave her, but when she is already nervous for something else it will be more difficult for her to calm down

She feels jealousy when you are spending a lot of time with others or talk much about someone else while being with her, she understand that you have your own friends or things to do, she sometimes can't be with you for the club too but when you spend more time paying attention to someone else it bother her, specially if is someone you admire

She can't help but curse under her breath whoever is taking your attention from her, she tries to endure it hoping that you will forget about that other person soon but if you don't stop at some point she will snap and demand your attention, she could be pretty intimidating or aggresive while doing it but she will apologize for it (she may or may not don't really mean that apology)

As well, if you tend to be affectionate with other people she will endure it to some extent, she isn't really shy and doesn't mind pda (physical affection even comfort her) but seeing you being affectionate with someone else it upset her a little, she doesn't mind if is with you family and with your closest friends she will learn to endure it, but aside from that it make her pretty jealous, she can take you giving small touches but not a hug, she won't like it and will confront you about it, making you make it up for her by giving her the doble of affection (she doesn't want to be mean with you, that is way she doesn't pry more)

Although, If is someone else is the culprit of her jealousy, like someone intensionally taking your attention or insisting on being affectionate with you she will not just get jealous but also mad, she still tries to endure it politely try to solve the problem but if that person end her patience Monika will be more agressive, she is really smart and knows how to take advantage of others weakness

Asuma Mutsumi

Asuma is a rather calm person as well as really caring and loving, it took him a long time to understand his feeling for you but once he does he is really open with his love, he doesn't see why he should hide it (unless it make you uncomfortable)

Between being pretty oblivious most of the time and looking after your happines and well being he isn't easy to get jealous, he just doesn't really doubt you or your relasionship, besides knowing that you love him too is enough reasurance for him

Asuma isn't someone who gets jealous easily and if it happens it happen rarely, still he handle it pretty well and he doesn't really get carry away for his feelings

He doesn't get jealous over your friends, he will even get along with your friends pretty well, and if you are getting affectionate with others it doesn't affect him neither since he already knows about this affectionate part of you (he isn't really shy to physical affection or pda, and is always gently and sweetly)

If you, for some reason pay more attention to someone else he won't think much of it at first but if this persist it will start to affect him, first feeling a little lonely without you to pass to the jealousy, he doesn't want to confront you but at some point he will (still he will be pretty shy while doing it)

He doesn't want to make a big deal of it so he prefer to sit down and talk to you about it, he has a little problem with expressing himself for not wanting to say something that will upset you or make it a big problem, and he doesn't want to take away from you the opportunity to express yourself neither

At the end he wants your comfort, just give him your attention again for a while and he feel a lot better, passing more quality time with you it would help a lot

Although, Asuma could get pretty jealous of his brother since he could be pretty flirty and touchy with others as well as stubborn when it comes to get what he wants, besides Asuma is used to give what he had to his brother in order for him to be happy, but once he accepted his feelings and started relasionship with you he understand that his you is something he isn't willing to give up so easily

[butchbenrey]

listen to me. ive already talked about how ptsd haver gordie would struggle to be around the science team, but think about darnold. okay?

(this turned out longer than i thought it would so im sparing you the experience of scrolling past it. true darnold pepper heads will read on. i know this to be true)

think about her. she was like, one of the only people who ever really Helped rather than hindered gordie during canon, and she did it completely of her own goodwill. the bit of time where everyone met darnold was a distinct respite from the chaos of the rest of black mesa. at least, it was as calm as it could get with the whole crew there fucking around. and darnold, while eccentric and silly, is undeniably the most emotionally intelligent person gordie met that whole time. and she had some self-preservation instinct, causing her to stay behind, which i would say makes darnold way better for gordie to be around than any of the other characters. because darnold knows and understands to some extent what happened, she was there after all, but she's not so intimately connected to the events that it would make gordie uncomfortable.

i think darnolds narrative function as a respite in canon could carry over to post-canon stuff too... i think darnold is someone gordie could confide in and actually get some reasonable responses from. i know a lot of people put tommy in the role of like. designated gordie therapist post-canon but i really can't see that. tommy just does not share the same outwardly friendly and curious demeanor that darnold does, at least not to me. and i can't imagine him really giving a shit about anything gordie says 😭. sorry. but darnold is different to me! i can imagine a frazzled and traumatized gordie going through old work emails trying to find a way to contact darnold again, looking for closure she'll never get. i can imagine her contacting darnold, anxious out of her mind, but finding that, when they do eventually meet up for coffee and darnold does some wacky shit to her own drink for funsies, she can roll with this. this is nice, to her. i think she can be a lesbo about it to be quite honest with you.

i have this scene in my head of like. somebody— probably coomer— throwing some kind of party and of course gordie feels obligated to come despite knowing in her heart its a terrible idea. and of course, she ends up spending much of the party standing awkwardly in a corner trying not to freak the fuck out and jumping out of her skin when coomer gives her a friendly (hard as fuck) punch on the arm. darnold has been spending the whole party rummaging around the bar and making all kinds of beautiful and fucked up cocktails, and when she notices gordie shes like "dear god that poor thing." so she makes a special little drink just for her, approaches gordie, and offers it to her, saying: "you seem a little glum. this should cheer you up!" and gordie breaks down sobbing on the floor because its so nice and shes so overwhelmed and nobody has shown her that kind of kindness and generosity in so long.

darnold also internally freaks out a little bit, scared she fucked something up, but she reasons that regardless of why gordie's crying, it's probably a good idea to take her outside and away from all the lights and sounds. so she does; she helps gordie up, escorts her out to the porch, sits her down. and they talk. gordie apologizes profusely for ruining the party and being weird and whatever and darnold earnestly replies that she was only there for the drinks anyways, she doesn't quite care for parties in the first place. gordie chugs the cute lil drink darnold gave her, and its good, and she tells darnold as much. darnold is very thankful that its so dark out because she is so so so flustered and she hopes gordie can't tell. gordie leans on her, though darnold is well over a foot shorter than gordie, so really it's functionally gordie resting her head on top of darnold's.

gordie is very much a lightweight and she gets more drunk from that one little glass than someone whos like 6'2" should, so darnold offers to drive her home to her apartment. gordie agrees, and she's even more handsy with people when she's drunk, so she's all holding onto darnold for support and rubbing her thumbs into her shirt and getting distracted. it is not good for darnolds composure in the slightest but she is trying so very hard to be normal about it. they make it back to gordie's apartment.

as they make it inside, gordie, drunk on both alcohol and the overwhelming feeling of being cared for for the first time in ages, tries to kiss darnold. darnold is a hopeless romantic to me. she wants to accept so bad but she's responsible, so she laughs it off and tells gordie they should get her to bed. gordie agrees and within minutes she's out like a light.

darnold stays the night, hopeful for the morning.

[nice-profession-mechanic]

While it's neat to see Braham's arc wrapping up with him doing his version of what he thought his Mom would do. Its also telling that Eir got that streak from the champion of coming-up-with-a-plan-that-might-kill-us-all:

Snaff

Spoilers for Edge of Destiny (Novel, 2010), Guild Wars 2 Base Game, Heart of Thorns, Living World Season 4, Icebrood Saga

While it might be hard to believe that Destiny's Edge was a particularly successful guild and if there was any reason to get the gang back together when outside of the dungeon stories the Pact seems to be doing more useful stuff in the base game's story, in Season 1 theyre almost all siffering from siccess and in Heart of Thorns they're all damseled (except for Caithe who has her 30k hurt comfort slash fiction come to a tragic end).

But before the base game: in the novel Edge of Destiny (which retells how the Guild was formed and their escapades until they broke up the first time) they had an astounding success rate that was unheard of before the commander took to the scene.

They succeed with 6 people what normally takes 50 players and a dozen NPCs to do in game: Kill a dragon's champion. They kill the champion of Zaitan, Primordus and Jormag (making the story from Icebrood Saga possible at all by vacating the position of Champion for Braham and Ryland to fill years later).

When they finally turned their attention to try and take down an Elder Dragon they got the inside scoop from Glint on a possible way to slay Kralkatorrik (who as this point in the story was still asleep).

Snaff had been using a magical mo-cap suit to control his golem and had found a way to reverse the magic to make people resistant to the tainting effects of dragon magic. And using the blood spilled from Kralkatorrik's last battle (that Glint had been so kind to collect and hold on to for several thousand years) found a way to use nothing but his mental fortitude and a stylish hat to wrestle the freshly awoken Elder Dragon out of the sky and bind him in place.

Just imagine that, the only characters we know that let their mind get anywhere near the core of a dragon lost all control of themself and were overwhelmed, essentially becoming thralls of the Dragon with their ego protecting itself in a corner of their mind. And then Snaff McBigBalls says, "While I've not tried to yet, it is possible that I can mentally armwrestle an Elder Dragon into submission. It would be bad science to not try."

And he succeeds.

As for why this actual titan of both magic and science isn't around and is barely mentioned in the base game? Cause that's the tragedy of Destiny's Edge, they arranged the most competent team of people Tyria had seen in years, and they forgot to not include Logan Thackery.

Logan bails mid fight against Kralk, the rest of the team is unable to maintain a defence around Snaff who is killed (doesnt stop mind wrestling Kralk the whole time, holding on each extra second in case thats all thats needed to deliver the final blow), Glint also dies here (Kralk has been meaning to kill her for a while and once they are free to move again they kill their own child). And the only one at the end who tries to pick up the pieces is Caithe. Who mirror's Glint's story and gathers up the crystallising blood from this fight with Kralkatorrik so when LWS4 comes around we have some to use it our second attempt on that guy's life (it also doesn't work, lets not kid ourselves, takes 3 real attempts to take the big laddie down).

So in the final story beat of Heart of Thorns where Trehearn asks you to kill him cause he can't stand up to the mental onslaught from Mordremoth, remember Snaff was in the same situation, but he was the one dominating the mind of an Elder Dragon.

He still did die though.

Eir takes this loss quite poorly as she was their big ideas lady. It was her plan to use Snaff's tech to pin the Dragon (her last plan to do a similar thing had gone way better). And these are the stories that Braham hears of Eir. Of taking the lead, sticking to your plans when they're a good plan, not asking other to make a sacrifice you're also not willing to make.

Things Eir and Snaff do that helps the plot later that the plot forgets to mention:

Push back the awakening of Primordus

Push back Jormag's influence from the areas near Hoelbrak

Show an Elder Dragon can be killed (if you bring more than 6 people)

Help Caithe get out of her abusive relationship

Give Zojja enough confidence that she gets a whole ascended armor set named after her

Put Zaitan on the back foot to prevent and incursion from Orr for several more years

If that was your mom, you'd throw yourself into danger too.

[plasmasimagination]

hi, it's me. may i order a big raspberry caramel macchiato, (very) hot with milk and a croissant <33 (w/ heizou and tighnari)

Summary : Jealousy suits you

Type - Romantic

Genre - Fluff

reader - G/N reader

Character - Heizou // tighanri

A/N - OMGG ISNT IT MY FAVOURITE WRITER REQUESTING AHH??? litteraly screamed when I saw u in my inbox also very sorry for keeping you waiting but I wanted to keep you for last since best goes last hihi anyways here it is a lot love mwah mwah

Also good choice in boys `°`

Heizou

You see I'm having trouble deciding who would be jelous here? Because we all know heizou and his flirty nature i think that he has a lot of people how do I say this simping (?) for him so it might be a little bit overwhelming to reader from time to time to see him be all joking around with someone who's obviously into him. But listen I also think that hes the jelous type as well and he will be so jelous if he sees reader with someone . And he's so passive aggressive with it too like he'll come over to you and put his hand on your waist pulling you closer to him and being like "oh who's this friend of yours (reader)?". Also one to deny his jelousy at all cost and don't you dare tease him. He's the one to tease in the relationship it can't be the other way around?! "You look cute when you're jelous" "(reader) I'm telling you I'm not jelous why would I be jelous?!"

Tighanri

Another jelous boi hihi (i like jelous men I'm sorry)

He was just doing something and you were outside waiting for him . You were just minding your own business when some person sat next to you and started talking about various topics. Since you were bored waiting for tighanri so you started chatting with the fellow stranger. Tighanri just happend to finish and came out to see you and when he saw you laughing at the words of that Incompetent scum of a person his stomach turned around. Why is he so entertaining and funny to you Huh?? He walks over to you and crosses his arms looking the stranger up and down. "Oh (reader) who's this less intellectual you're talking to ? ". When the person leaves he looks at you, completely unamused. "AWWW nari you're so adorable when you're jelous" "(reader) that's such a bold assumption of you why would I be jelous of someone like them?"

(Oops I went off character sorry)

[kunikinnie]

hii could i request hc s for yosano, kunikida and chuuya with a s/o who has a small child (like 4yo) just lots of fluff kinda found family vibes (completely ok if you don’t wanna write it tho, you can just ignore it i’d totally get it)

a/n: sorry this took such a loooong time but no i did not ignore this this is sO CUTE HAHA i don't usually write for Yosano but i gave it a shot anw tho it might be ooc :')

with an s/o who has a young child

featuring: Yosano, Kunikida, Chuuya x GN!Reader

Yosano Akiko

She's the quickest to come to a decision when it came to entering both your lives. Perhaps it's her age or simply her disposition, but taking care of the two of you isn't a hurdle for her at all.

She loves teasing and spoiling you but especially your child. This is why they love her so much that an outsider might think that she was the biological mother. They're that close.

Going out to buy stuff is their your favorite activity together. Whether it's just groceries or more clothes, home decor, and toys, the three of you will go at the same time.

One of her qualities that was extremely useful when dealing with your child was her patience. It's probably not just due to her background as a doctor, but her life experience is just a huge factor altogether.

When it comes to protectiveness with the small stuff, she's not as intense as the other two on this list. Of course the child's safety is of utmost priority but injuries and the like are normal and, in her opinion, necessary to build their character. (And also there's her ability when it comes to it, so the confidence goes up tenfold)

She's not afraid to be more openly affectionate with either of you. She knows you two need it and nothing makes her happier than seeing you two happy and loved.

Kunikida Doppo

He was pretty hesitant to start a relationship with you at first. It's not that he doesn't like that you have a child, it's more of he's not sure if he's ready to play the role of a father as well. But he knew there was no going back once he's formed an attachment to your child.

It was easier to win over the child than it was you for some reason. As much as he likes children, he wouldn't say he's an absolute natural at handling them. It was a big relief and advantage for him, then, to have them on his side.

Theirs is a pretty standard father-child relationship - not that it's a bad thing. Kunikida is 100% dad material even if he's not quite at that age yet. He's quite protective, lectures (nicely and softly) often, etc.

His teacher side will come out as well. Explaining the world to them is essential for their development (or so he says). Plus children are naturally inquisitive so he answers their questions adequately most of the time. Goes in depth with them, too.

He's the least likely to go on frequent one-on-one dates with you. Don't get me wrong, he loves you very much, but compared to the other two he's more than content to spend with you two as a family. It's also because he's so concerned that something might happen to your child that he'd want to be by their side as much as possible. (Ofc just tell him if you want to go on dates more often he'll definitely listen)

Overall, he does his best to be a good partner and father. He may be strict with you at times, but that's only because he loves you two so much.

Nakahara Chuuya

Similar to Kunikida, he was worried that you being in a relationship with him might not be the best for you and your child. But his mind changed when he was once welcomed into your loving home: what emerged was the overwhelming desire to protect it.

Hence the spoiling. Lots of spoiling. Whether it comes to buying you two things or giving in easily to your demands, it's just so hard for him to say no. He doesn't want either of you to go through the poverty he went through.

He's such a sweet guy that I can't even begin to describe it. Every present and favor he does for you is done thoughtfully, and he definitely puts so much effort in becoming the lover you've always dreamed of.

Even if he doesn't visit often due to work, it only makes every moment more special. Your child looks forward to being with him (even if only to sleep together). They love sleeping on top of him to prevent him from leaving too soon and most of the time, it works.

You love seeing them play together. Chuuya's good at it, but most of all his inner kid comes out and it's such an adorable sight you can't help but let them indulge in it. The best part is watching him try to mind his language around them. The one time he let it slip and your kid copied him, he was mortified (while you were thoroughly entertained).

The mafia life is far away from your home. He rarely ever talks about it let alone think about it whenever he's with one or the both of you. During these times he's just himself - not a mafia executive, not the boss's underling - he's just Chuuya.

taglist: @irethepotato, @kisara-16reblogs, @thatdazaikin, @dazaee, @menshusband, @celestair, @bloobewy

[baby-tini]

Hiii Tini I saw that someone else came out about having a lot of problems and tbh that made me feel comfortable to talk about it I been going through a lot of depression and I have been trying to stay clean from harming myself but I really feel like nothings working but Mikey is really my comfort character so if you can how do you think he would react to a darling going through the same thing as me? How would he handle it would he take them to therapy or something else

Love you tini❤️

I'm so sorry you're going through this baby, thank you for feeling comfortable enough too come and talk about it, my inbox and dms are open if you or anyone else ever need too talk and I hope you're doing better when you see this post love!!!

TW- talks of depression (nothing in detail of SH or SI)

Realistically, I'd say the only version of Mikey that could actually be able too help is Racer!Mikey, because Toman and Bonten are gang leaders, they can't really... take you to therapy nor do they understand what you're going through because they just bottle their feelings up and don't know how too cope and they just wouldn't be the best help. Kanto!Mikey is running off pure dark impulses and is genuinely the last version of Mikey that you'd want too go to, and Manila... also not a big help, he's mentally checked out. On the positive though, Racer!Mikey can and will help you, communication is a big thing with Mikey, but even if you don't like too talk about your feelings, people forget just how observant Mikey is- especially if it's concerning people he is close to and that he cares about. I do think he'd come too therapy with you, if you decided too go, depending on what you're wanting, he can be in the room with you and provide emotional support or he'll wait outside in the waiting room if you're not comfortable talking about those things in front of him. Also, Mikey has a good support system around him, and by extension, you. All you have too do is let Mikey know and he'll call all his friends over too have a bit of a get together too make you feel better. If that's too overwhelming for you, he doesn't mind watching movies on the couch, cuddling with you. If he's not around, he'll call Emma, she always knows how too lighten a mood. If you need a day out, he'll give you his card so you can pamper yourself- if you want him too come two, he's more then willing too call out of work too spend the day with you. If you're to the point of harming yourself or not being able too get out of bed, Mikey has no problem picking you up and taking you to the bath, he'll wash your hair and everything for you as he orders delivery food so you guys can just relax. Again, if you are having upsetting thoughts and he can be with you, he'll send one of his friends too be with you, just too watch over you and make sure you're okay.

[ye-oldroderich]

Hi i saw a friend of mine do art of ur wiz ocs and kindly i wpuld love to hear more about them. Nonhuman ocs in wiz r so fun

OMG YAAAAAY i love talking about my ocs so bad ..... WAHH. prepare for a long yap sesh

More art of them from last(?) year's art fight by my friend @mister-geuse <3 ily tutt

I love Insaf and Rund they're my little guys im so glad so many people like them too 😭 when i make ocs for media i like to try and explore things that help to flesh out the world more and wizzy has SO many nonhuman peoples and there's just so much you can do ... no shade to people with human ocs of course. but personally i like exploring different things with each character i make

Krokotopia is one of my favorite worlds because i'm old and i like lizard people. it isnt without criticism (LOTS of criticism) though. i dont think ive ever seen another mander oc before (although i havent looked *that* hard, theres probably some out there!) so they were my go-to when making an oc from that world.

Insaf loves history! especially the history of magic in her world. she's often frustrated after she comes to wizard city and the library doesn't have much information on krokotopia's history, let alone things about her culture or anything before the krok dynasties came to power. after being Alhazred's student, she finds Arthur Wethersfield's teaching suuuuper lackluster in comparison. she corrects things he says about Balance magic in her mind. Insaf would be an "um, actually" girl if she wasn't nerfed with a severe anxiety disorder LMAO

she's actually really easy to anger but is just so adept at bottling it that she never shows it. this girl wants to rage so badly. magic is her outlet. she's a bit of a wildcard during duels since shes small and unassuming but VERY quickly becomes very aggressive with lots of offensive spells. she got a broomstick when she moved to wizard city but sucks at riding it and is pretty embarrassed about it (her tail throws her off-balance). she also has a pet chameleon in her dorm! its name is Sheba.

Now for Rund. i love birds and dinosaurs and corvids so a raven was a must-have for me as an oc. also its fun to put your characters through the horrors (ie a cult) and Rund definitely gets the brunt of it lmao. i haven't really ever made a character dealing with amnesia because its such a cheap plot cliché and its never done accurately to how amnesia actually works as like. a nuerological condition. so with Rund i've been really researching how it actually works so that i can portray it well.

amnesia is still not very well understood because the brain is so silly and complicated but if i were to label her with something it'd be pure retrograde amnesia. after her head injury, she can't really remember much at all about herself, and isn't familiar with ravenscar or anyone there. she CAN remember how to use runes, though, and other "muscle-memory" things. after she's sent to wizard city to recover, she starts getting some memories back over time (mostly information she got while reading, and some personal details) but memories specifically retaining to the Coven are much harder for her to remember.

Rund is also autistic (both she and Insaf are) and has some other underlying conditions that were exacerbated by both her head injury and the traumatic stress she was under. she has both motor and vocal tics, and doesn't speak much outside of echoalia. she's very easily overwhelmed so she sticks to less crowded and quieter places, which are hard to find in wizard city ... its why she and insaf hang out by the death school LMAO. no one else is ever there.

Rund uses runestones instead of a spelldeck, just like a lot of people in Grizzleheim traditionally do. she likes to shake the bag and hear them clinking together. her mount is a Death Vortex, and i rationalize it as like ... her turning into a cloud to zip around (usually so she can get on top of something and perch up there). she likes having her hood up so she can block out stimuli. Rund knows people look at her differently, which is part of why she avoids most people. she doesn't really know how to feel about being sent to Ravenwood, but supposes its better than the alternative ... though she misses Grizzleheim's snow.

Rund and Insaf met when they were assigned partner on a death class project. neither of them really had friends before that at ravenwood. Insaf doesn't expect anything of Rund or judge her for things she can't control. Likewise, Rund doesn't judge Insaf for having "unsightly" feelings, and can relate to it. they both like yapping about magic and history, and take turns talking at eachother. they have library dates where they go and point out flaws in the literature (hater activity). they're their own best company.

[piratekane]

i got an ask in my email that never showed up in my inbox that was basically looking for book recs and since only one person asked for my opinion and because this was the year i fell back in love with reading, i'm going to do a myspace Top 8 books i loved this year, in no particular order:

Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein this is basically a love story. it's a love story and you won't change my mind. i don't mean romantic love except that i mean best friends loving each other to and through the end of the world can be romantic and we should say that more often. because this a book about war and its terrors but it's also the love story between two best friends and what they'll do to get back to each other. it has probably one of my favorite protagonists ever - actually, two of my favorites. Wein tells a devastatingly perfect story and i promise your heart will swell and sink and tie itself into tiny knots. kiss me, hardy! kiss me quick! 5 stars, i cried at the end

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo i was late to the SoC books and boy am i glad i finally showed up to the party. this book was perfection. i immediately fell in love with each crow and spent the whole book screaming that if nina and matthias didn't kiss ASAP that i was going to throw something. i also was yelling about kaz and inez, do not think i was not doing that. kex brekker you deserve love you street rat. @dealanexmachina had to deal with the screaming through this. and i think it's going to be a repeat read in 2024 just so i can experience the care and craftsmanship that went into each character, their nuances, and how it wove perfectly together into kaz's brilliant plan. 5 stars, i immediately read the sequel like a hungry jaugar hunting down a person wearing that calvin klein scent

Tress of the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson brando sando is... prolific. and it was overwhelming to jump in, but i started with tress and not any of his other books (a problem i have rectified) and what a bang it was. this book is, in a word, hilarious. the narrator is a fantastical being with an aversion to linear thought and a predilection for hilarity. the humor in this book is unlike any of sandos other work and really shows that he has the ability to stretch. the premise is very clever and very cool and just very fun. tress is brave and smart and that's celebrated, not punished. plus who doesn't love a talking rat? i'm looking forward to his other secret projects 4.5 stars, the narrator is my favorite sando character

Hidden Pictures by Jason Rekulak okay, this is billed as horror, but i wouldn't really say horror and would lean more into the mystery billing than anything. maybe thriller. and it's outside my usual genre and is definitely more suited to my wife's tastes but she finished this book in three days (and usually takes 3 weeks-to-months to finish books) and when she said i had to read it, i said yes dear and picked it up. i'm glad i did. it's an illustrated mystery and as the author writes in the notes, those who pay attention will be rewarded. the ending was a twist i didn't see coming, like, at all. and it was clever. but once the ending started to unfold it was a mad dash to the finish. 5 stars, my wife recommends this

The Nevernight Chronicles by Jay Kristoff now, i know. this is actually 3 books, not 1. but hear me out - they must all be read. it's nonnegotiable. these books were recommended by tumblr user @fiddleabout and am i so very glad they were. mia is unhinged. there's no other way to put that. the girl is fucking off. her. rocker. and no one in her life is any better. they're all just as freaking crazy. but they're my crazy comfort killers. i went on for hours about mia and ash, to the point that my wife shut the bathroom door in my face because i tried to follow her in there talking about them. this series is bloody and more than once i was like, he can't possibly make this any bloodier but he CAN and i think this book is better for it. found family, check. unhinged teenage protagonist, double check. endless fun, check in triplicate. 4.5 stars, i am never not thinking of ash and her vision of a house on a lake and softness

A Day of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon obviously i read priory first and obviously i loved it but ADoFN was... mind-blowing. maybe because priory enriched the world of ADoFN and i was already familiar with all the intricacies of it (though there was certainly more to learn) but reading this just... the bridging Shannon did, the connections she made between priory and ADoFN and how we ultimately saw the way ADoFN threaded some of the loops we saw closing in priory, it blew my mind. the utter romance of it all, my god. i read this monster book in a single day, i couldn't put it down. i emerged from my ADoFN cocoon like andy samberg in that one SNL skit where he plays a teenager who just woke up. i was changed(TM) 5 stars, i was a changed man

Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo i immediately jumped into the rest of the Leigh's work (i went through SaB first but she's so strong at the end of this Grishaverse) and while i love all my SoC babes, nina was a favorite and honestly i'd recommend both King of Scars and this book. tumblr user fiddleabout was blessed to follow along with my completely unhinged livestream of this book and when (spoiler) zoya and nikolai finally got over themselves and K I S S E D, i put the book down and took a lap. then i picked it up and screamed again as nina's arc unfolded. 5 stars, i have a lot of thoughts about the kind of man nikolai is (peg)

The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by S.A. Chakraborty i'm a bit of a sucker for a pirate book. even more of a sucker about a woman pirate, and amina is a woman pirate of the highest caliber. this book is either intentionally funny or unintentionally hilarious. amina's biggest flaw is that she's constantly ogling her demon ex-husband's cute butt - honest to god. otherwise, she's perfection. badass, scrappy, jacked. amina is all of those things and then some. so she has a bit of a past that winds up coming back to bite her in the ass and then she's thrust back onto a ship where she has to chase down an old crewmate's daughter - can you blame a girl for being the most kickass pirate in all of the seas? no! should you? absolutely not! just let amina live out her life ogling ass and sailing leisurely, please. 4.5 stars, i want to sail on amina's ship even though i'm afraid of boats. and the ocean. and things living in the ocean. and generally the water.

( ͡❛ ᴗ ͡❛)👍 and now you know, cause it's mike's pirate's super short show! ( ͡❛ ᴗ ͡❛)👍

[autisticgirliesbracket]

What makes Baru Cormorant from The Masquerade Series the autistic girlie ever of all time? Here's what the people have to say:

- Bracket art created by @anthyiess, used with permission. Baru-related asks/reblogs: x This post will be updated after each round!

Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.

[Image ID. White slide with a digital drawing of Baru holding a masquerade half-mask away from her own face. She is surrounded by text boxes which read,

"her canon low empathy swag whenever she tries 2 flirt she will just explain trade economics untill the woman shes talking to becomes enamoured with her whenever she sees a flock of birds she needs 2 count em (i also do this)"

"low empathy girl swag my favorite repressed lesbian accountant"

"For context, Baru Cormorant is the protagonist of a dark fantasy series about resistance to a vast trade empire. Baru's homeland was colonized by said empire, and Baru decides to join the empire in order to gain enough power within it to free her home. She ends up becoming an imperial accountant and is sent to a remote colony to suppress a brewing rebellion. As the series progresses, Baru becomes more deeply involved with both action against the empire and the empire itself, and has to make a lot of difficult choices. Baru is the most compassionate and authentic depiction of an autistic character who is "low empathy" and struggles to understand/relate to other people's emotions I've ever encountered in fiction. She is very blunt and logic-driven. She tends to view things through the lens of topics she already has a lot of understanding and enthusiasm for (i.e., math and economics) and has trouble with things that don't fit that mold. For example, at one point she begins to realize that other people also have complex inner lives (her low empathy swag!!!) and could only understand/convey this concept by comparing it to hashing (a one-way function, where a specific input will always result in the same output, but that output is not exclusive and may be shared with other inputs. So you can understand that any person you see was shaped by particular experiences or "input", but you can't always tell what those experiences were just by looking at the "output"). Baru struggles with social interactions (outside of the context of power struggle mind games), frequently missing "obvious" subtext in ordinary conversations. Baru can come off as "emotionless" but is shown to feel very deeply, particularly being motivated by deep love and grief throughout the series. She infodumps to people for fun and to express affection; for example at one point she decided to start courting someone and went about that by telling her a bunch of fun facts. There's also at least one scene where she gets overwhelmed and bites herself to calm down, which is a really common stim that I'd never seen depicted in fiction before! Due to the series' historic-inspired fantasy setting, terminology differs from the real world, and words like "autistic" are never used in the series. However, Baru is described as a "savant" by her imperial mentor, a term that in the real world has heavy association with autism. In summary, Baru is so thoroughly autistic-coded that I believe that she was intentionally meant to be read as such and personally count her as "canon rep". Particularly, Baru displays many common autistic traits that are rarely portrayed sympathetically in fiction, much less for characters who are also explicitly written as women of color. Her autistic swag is so massive, reading the books made me realize I'm autistic. I love her. Also she's canon lesbian. Thank you for your time."

"Baru’s canonical biggest character flaw is forgetting that other people also have thoughts feelings and agendas just like she does and her special interest is finance i love my low empathy bestie <3"

"Hiiii she is the most autistic narrator of all time. I don’t have the time to pull text but just trust me on this. Low empathy swag she’s just like me for real the way she connects with other people her special interests in birds and stars the way her mind works she gets me so well. Autistic swag. Also she’s pulled like 6 bad bitches with it"

"Had to have it explained to her that other people have inner lives and motivations just like she does one time. Low empathy queen"

"DIversity win! Your math savant with bad people skills is a lesbian!" End ID.]