#also yes there’s a Luke angle I just haven’t mentioned him yet

[mo-mode]

Guys I’m still thinking about it CONSIDER so Jesus is actually a son of Dionysus (or perhaps a demigod who was granted his blessing…maybe a son of Poseidon? Cuz he walks on water?) I forgot to mention Mr D is also the god of religious ecstasy, festivity, fertility, vegetation, all things that Jesus used to spread Christianity (blessing the harvest, converting water to wine, starting a religion) anyway that’s the lore, back on track

So in this AU, Percy gets Mr. D the wine, breaking the curse but accidentally claiming Percy as his own son in the process, and Dionysus immediately realizes his mistake and thinks “ah shit how do I fix this without Zeus figuring out I went behind his back and punishing me even more for it?”

At First, he just does nothing. I mean, he can’t make it worse, right? Acting now would be too suspicious! When the real parent claims Percy, Mr D will just say “WHAT?? Oh My bad!! Didn’t have my glasses on! You’re not *checks ink on hand* Pierre Jenkinson. Wrong kid :)” and all will be okay, right?

Because sure, most gods are deadbeats, but claiming another kid as your own has always been a No No. It’s like a personal insult, a jab at their pride, a swipe at someone else’s prized trophy. Especially a kid that took down a Minotaur single-handedly. Percy’s dad must be fuming somewhere and ready to storm over himself to claim Percy as his own.

But he never gets claimed! So Mr D is like “oh shit I gotta pay child support don’t I?”

(Which no one is offering to help him with btw. Grover is standing there like “mf I know you’re lying” Chiron’s like “I don’t get paid for this shit” so they’re no help UGH)

As stated before, Percy’s being a little shit, talking back, asking questions (oh the horror), making Mr D be a parent, starting a Union in the Dionysus cabin. Meanwhile, Mr D(ad) over here is pulling his hair out. It’s been days! When is Percy’s real dad going to call him out??? Come on!! Every second is another opportunity for Percy or another camper to realize something’s up!

To buy himself more time and make the lie more believable, Mr D blesses Percy with some of the same powers as his other kids (the same ones he gave Jesus so long ago 👀)

Percy is now able to make wine, help fruits and orchards grow (just a bit), control crowds via ritual thinking, and one or two other things sprinkled in. No biggie. It’s not like the kid’s got some insane powers locked away or anything. That’s crazy talk!

Out of nowhere, Percy comes up to him and asks “hey dad do you control water?” And Mr D is like “why on earth would I do that?” Then Percy tells him about the bathroom and that’s when D realizes something.

If Percy’s parent still hasn’t claimed him back yet, there has to be a reason, right? But who wouldn’t want to claim their kid under any circumstances? Who would gladly let someone else take the fall for claiming a kid? Maybe someone who isn’t supposed to have a kid in the first place?

…Percy can control water. Because of course he can. Of course, Dionysus fucked up and claimed a son of Poseidon because Holy shit, Mr D accidentally claimed the prophecy kid. Oh my god, his week was getting so much worse.

Mr D makes up a dumb lie on the spot, something about Jesus, it was a half truth anyway so whatever, and immediately contacts Poseidon. But not after calling Chiron in as well. Poseidon admits to everything, he’s a blubbering mess, Chiron is finally on the same page, and they’re all sitting there now like “how are we going to fix this?”

Dionysus can’t snitch on Poseidon or he’ll face Zeus’ wrath for drinking wine. And Poseidon can’t snitch on Dionysus or he’ll face Zeus’ wrath for having a kid and it’ll put the Jackson family in danger. And they also need to worry about preparing Percy for the prophecy war and find the master bolt before a different war breaks out, which claiming Percy might just cause anyway.

So after careful consideration, Chiron suggests that they just…keep it a secret. “If you’re both trying to keep your lies from Mt Olympus,”he says, “why don’t we work together?” Mr D keeps Percy’s powers hidden by keeping his claim and his blessing intact. Chiron trains Percy at the camp. Poseidon distracts Zeus and intervenes only when absolutely necessary.

It’s a sound enough plan. After all, no one has to know. (And Obviously, this includes the kid that they’re lying about. Because Chiron always thinks they should hide things from Percy. What else is new?)

But do you know who they can’t keep secrets from?

Annabeth. Our favorite 12yo stalker who’s always six steps ahead :)

She’s been sniffing out their bullshit since day one. She figured it out when the toilets exploded, but she still needs to prove it. So she watches Percy during capture the flag. And when he becomes a madman near the water? When he stands in the lake and they both watch as his wounds heal? Chiron immediately realizes they’re fucked.

Annabeth storms into the big house and demands a quest (because priorities 🤪) and Percy is pissed because they lied to him. So they spill the beans and tell him it’s for his protection. Percy screams right back that he can protect himself. Mr D tries to mitigate, but it’s no use. Percy feels genuinely betrayed. That’s when he tells them how he only gave Dionysus a chance because his mom told him how great of a man his father was. “But I guess that’s not you, is it? You’re just a fraud.” he says.

And Dionysus could be mean right back. He’s a god. He could banish him, make him go insane, turn him into a dolphin, but he just can’t. Because he made a new promise to Poseidon, and…he also feels bad. He feels like he’s disappointed his own kid. “You’re right, I’m not him,” he admits quietly. “But for your safety, I have to be.”

And that’s when they tell him of the quest. The master bolt has gone missing, and Zeus believes one of his brothers is to blame. If Percy reveals he’s the son of Poseidon, it could make Zeus believe that he stole it. Percy refuses until Grover spills the beans about his mom. Now, he has to go on this quest, hide his true parentage by wielding Mr D’s blessing, retrieve the master bolt, and not die in the process. And he feels betrayed.

So off they go, on their own, on a quest where gods aren’t allowed to intervene.

How will Poseidon help without tipping off the gods? Will Mr D help as well? (Spoiler: Absolutely.) Will Percy be able to keep this secret? Who else on Mt Olympus will figure it out? Or maybe someone from Tartarus will find out too?

OKAY THATS MY PITCH I’M ALREADY WRITING THIS BUT I SEE A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE WANT TO DO THEIR OWN TAKE SO HAVE FUN!! I CAN’T WAIT TO READ YOUR INTERPRETATIONS (just please credit me thanks) ANYWAY HAVE A GOOD DAY

AU where Mr. D claiming to be Percy’s dad accidentally counts as Claiming according to Greek god law or whatever and now all the other gods legitimacy believe Percy is his son, but if Mr. D corrects it, he has to explain to Zeus why he pretended he was Percy’s dad so now he’s like “YEP ol’ Perry Johansson is MY child wowie just look at the little fry, you have your mother’s eyes. Please stop standing next to water or you will blow my cover”

Meanwhile Poseidon is just standing off to the side like “how on earth did I dodge THAT bullet”

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 128

Chapter Summary - Danielle is dealing with work, but still thinking about Tom and whatever his call was regarding, while Tom still thinks of how to talk to her, but when he gets a message, he has to think of its meaning.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

Copyright for the photo is the owners, not mine.

I WILL get there, it is my dream!

All image rights belong to their owners

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​​ @jessibelle-nerdy-mum​​ @nonsensicalobsessions​​ @damalseer​​ @hiddlesbitch1​​ @winterisakiller​ @fairlightswiftly​​ @salempoe​​ @wolfsmom1

Danielle stared at the scene in front of her silently as the fire crews deal with the burning rubble, she simply watched them all, studying how they dealt with the situation.

‘You seem distracted.’ She turned slightly as Branagh standing close to her.

‘I think it is more I am trying to keep myself preoccupied.’

‘That’s seldom good.’ he folded his arms and leant against a large container. ‘Is it to do with Tom?’

‘Somewhat.’

‘Dare I ask?’

‘Dare I say anything?’ She challenged. ‘I know Tom looks up to you so much and is so grateful to you and also keeps in contact with you as best he can. You are the reason he got on so well on Wallander.’

‘Tom is the reason he did well there, not me.’

‘Without your guidance, and without your suggestion that he should try for Marvel, he would not have gotten the opportunity to show his incredible talent to the world as he has.’ She countered with a smile.

Branagh could not argue the point too greatly. ‘So what has the very talented Tom done to warrant you trying to occupy your mind with dull after scene work?’ She gave him an analytical look. ‘You are very cautious.’

‘You have to be in this line of work.’

‘I was eager to take you for this job because you were not the same overly cautious as others, you had a daring streak to you, or so I thought.’

‘It takes considerable daring to choose to allow yourself be with someone such as Tom, in the media, surrounded by women of both wealth and talent, and do not get me started on the internet fans.’

‘That is more than a little true,’ Branagh conceded once more. ‘So is the issue one of these women?’

‘Well, he is on a press thingy with Maisie Williams at the moment, and seeing as she is about twenty years old, I think him being interested would send up a few more than the usual warnings, don’t you?’

‘The girl from Game of Thrones?’

‘Arya Stark, yes.’

‘Oh, I was thinking the red-haired one, no, I have you now.’

‘So, no, it is not that. I trust him there. I don’t always trust some women not to try something, but I trust him to decline.’ Branagh nodded slightly. ‘I think he is planning something behind my back and I don’t know what. I don’t think it is negative, but I think he thinks it could be construed as such by me and I have no idea what it is.’ When she looked at the director again, she erupted in laughter. ‘I take it you regret asking?’

‘I have no idea what you just said.’ He confessed.

‘I accidentally heard part of a conversation that I assume I was not supposed to hear and Tom mentioned that no, he didn’t ask me something because he was frightened what I would say, and now I am wracking my brains trying to figure out what this is because he is all addled by it, which is making me all addled by it, and I am fucking losing sleep at this stage and I bet, knowing him, it is something fucking mundane and all this is just us losing our heads for nothing.’ Branagh frowned. ‘Yeah, you regret asking.’ She chuckled before looking to the side at her paperwork, which was being kept safe from the elements in a file. ‘Fuck, this is miserable.’

‘Can you imagine how these people actually felt?’

‘I dare say Dublin was confused.’

‘Yeah, well, neutral means neutral, right?’

‘You think the Germans were right to do it?’ Branagh asked curiously.

‘Not particularly, but I understand their reasons. Belfast was us helping our own, but if we were helping a British occupied area, that’s not neutral, is it?’

‘You are a very intelligent woman. You look at all the angles, not just your own.’

‘Would you expect anything less from someone with Tom?’ There was a moment’s silence and a knowing look. ‘There is a lot of things she can be called, stupid is not one of them.’ She winked.

‘You think so?’

‘I know so. She is smart, there nothing wrong in acknowledging that. A different type of smart though. I read Yeats because I love his work, I doubt she ever even heard of him.’

‘Yeats, not Shakespeare?’

‘Nah, I’ll stick to Irish.’

‘But you know….?’

‘Yes, doesn’t everyone know his work? I think there are street children in Sri Lanka that know his name.’

‘Favourite play?’

‘Are you going to judge me on it?’ She asked with a raised brow.

‘Very much so.’

‘As You Like It.’ Branagh stared at her in interest. ‘Not what you were expecting?’

‘Not at all. An interesting choice.’

‘Some of his most famous quotes are from it, “All the world’s a stage” and “Too much of a good thing”. It is overlooked because it is a comedy and not a tragedy, but I love it.’ She smiled. She was about to say more when she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket, as soon as she felt it buzz again, she excused herself and got to a sheltered spot. When she pulled it out, she saw Emma’s name on the screen. ‘Ems?’

‘Hey.’

‘Is everything alright?’ There was a definite something to Emma’s tone that worried her.

‘I was ringing to ask you.’ Danielle looked at the phone in confusion. ‘Tom seems odd.’

‘Tom is odd at the best of times, Ems, but yes, I think he is a little off of late. He seems like something is bothering him and I am trying to let him to talk to me whenever it suits but he has said nothing, so I didn’t want to talk about it and possibly make a mountain out of a molehill because I could be utterly wrong and be reading things arseways.’

‘Yeah. I don’t know.’ Emma conceded. ‘Maybe it’s just that he misses you.’

‘Perhaps.’ Danielle laughed. ‘How are you?’

‘Okay, I guess. I really need a catch-up.’

‘I am home at the end of the week, we will sort one then.’

‘Okay. I will see you then, I have news.’

‘Wait, what is the news?’

‘I’ll tell you then.’

‘Emma!’

‘I will talk to you then.’ She insisted, though Danielle could hear her smile. ‘Bye.’

‘Worst friend ever,’ She growled at the phone as Emma giggled and hung up. Only after she hung up did she sense another in the room, turning around, she gave a small smile. ‘Hello, ignore me and my madness.’

Redmayne laughed, stirring his tea. ‘You’re quite alright, I am sorry for having accidentally eavesdropped on your conversation.’

‘It’s nothing, just Tom’s sister worrying about him.’

‘Is something wrong?’

‘Not that I know, but I have been busy here not allowing you all be blown up, so I doubt he would tell me if there was, he would want me concentrating on this.’ She sighed. ‘In all fairness, I probably should not have anyone distract me in this utter clusterfuck of things that could go really badly.’

‘Was that fire supposed to be so intense?’

‘From what the effects guys were saying, I don’t think so, but they are not telling me if it is wrong, and I am not going to be popular when I ask later.’

‘You work really hard.’

‘Doesn’t most anyone here. I mean, look at that costume, someone sat sewing that for hours.’ She pointed to the uniform he was wearing under a jacket. ‘It’s not an easy job getting these gigs, so you have to be good.’ She stated, grabbing a bottle of water and heading back outside.

*

Tom watched the dogs run around the dog park happily, chasing one another and interacting with the other canines. He was still contemplating how to bring it up to Danielle without her feeling like it was pressuring her. He wanted nothing more than to get it off her chest. At first, before she left, he thought there was something bothering her, but it was clear from their conversations on the phone since their separation, that she knew something was bothering him and was waiting for him to talk about it. Sighing, he thought more about how to just ask her.

When he received a message, he thought to ignore it while out, but instead, he decided to see if it was the alterations Luke said his PA would send on regarding the Blue Peter episode he was going on. When he looked at his phone, he frowned and inhaled deeply, reading Redmayne’s words carefully, he knew the answer to the question asked.

Is there a reason you haven’t asked her yet?

[miss-noo-na]

Vos Anima Mea (Chapter 10 - END)

Title: Vos Anima Mea

Genre: Vampire AU

Rating: R - Mentions of blood and violence in this chapter.

Note: Holy shit you guys its done! Thank you for sticking with me and being patient as I finished this up. I hope you like it!

* See Masterlist for additional chapters

It was a crazy idea, and the thought of Kihyun being put in harm’s way made your stomach hurt. But, you knew he was strong and persistent.

He gathered some names and addresses from Victoria’s records and made a few phone calls under the guise of a business deal. Mentioning who his father was got him a long way, and a meeting was set up. You begged and pleaded with Kihyun to let you go, and it was a firm “no” for about a week. Then he relented a little and said maybe you could wait in the car. Finally you convinced him that it would look less threatening if he had a girl on his arm.

“The first sign of trouble, I want you to get out of there, okay?” He said firmly.

“Yeah, of course.” You shrugged.

“Look at me.”

You sighed and turned to him, not thinking it would make a difference, but when you locked eyes you felt frozen.

“You promise?” He asked steadily and you nodded, then you felt your body relax.

“Are you doing that?” You asked in an accusatory tone. “Controlling my body?”

“Yes, I am.” He answered nonchalantly. He had done it to you once before, but back then you were too nervous and put out to ask about it, chalking it up to your imagination.

“I don’t do it often, it's rude.” He said, and you actually had to laugh at that. Leave it to Kihyun to consider supernatural hypnotism rude. 

“Are you going to use that tonight?”

He stopped as if thinking about it. “I mean, I guess I could.”

You shook your head at him. “Those powers are really wasted on you, aren’t they?”

He squinted his eyes at you and suppressed the urge to smile.

“Keep up the smart remarks and I’ll do it again.”

The way his voice got a little lower when he said that made you tingle all over, and you dropped the subject, not needing to be distracted by dirty thoughts right now.

The sun was coming up soon and you both needed your rest for the big night. Though mortal, the gangsters were well acquainted with vampires and knew to set up the meeting at an appropriately dark hour. When you both rose from sleep, you started to get dressed.

One thing you hadn’t expected, but now made complete sense, was how Kihyun spoiled you. Even if you mentioned something in passing on a whim, he’d find a way to get it to you. He also insisted on buying you new clothes, since you had left so many behind at your place. You offered to go and retrieve them, but he dismissed the idea, telling you he could get you whatever you needed. You expected a trip to Walmart, and were taken aback when he drove you to a designers home in the middle of the night, to fit and measure you for a completely new wardrobe. You felt incredibly uncomfortable with the idea at first, but started to ease up with Kihyun’s encouragement. You told her what you liked, what felt comfortable, the styles you preferred, and she delivered it to you within a week. 

That said, you knew you had to pick something for tonight that would scream “possible wife of a vampire investor.” 

You stood in the walk-in closet thinking way too hard about it. Kihyun came in after he hadn’t seen you in awhile, and he was already dressed. Of course,  he looked amazing and dapper.

“You still haven’t picked anything?” He asked, fastening his cuff links and you stared for a moment, before blinking yourself out of it. Again, now wasn’t the time.

“No, not yet. I’m a little nervous and I can’t think straight.” You confessed, biting your lip as you stared back at the clothing.

“Maybe you should stay home then?” He offered, and you knew what he was doing and shot him a glare.

“There’s no way I’m letting you do this alone.” You said, before blindly reaching up and yanking the first dress you touched off the rack. To your surprise it wasn’t bad, a navy blue dress with an A-line skirt and quarter sleeves.

“Perfect.” Kihyun smiled at you, and you felt a little better as you got ready. However, the drive over to the seedy part of town didn’t help your nerves at all. Kihyun abandoned the idea of a driver tonight, electing to take one of his cars out for himself, assuming it would look better. 

What you pulled up to was a restaurant inside an old stone building. The lighting was garishly yellow and gave everything a sickly pale tone. It was thick with smoke from patrons who all cast a sideways glance at you as you entered. Kihyun spoke low to the host, who directed you to a staircase.

Upstairs wasn’t much better, it smelled of must and cigarettes and inside the room was a table full of men playing cards. When the two of you entered, the one at the center shooed most of them away, but a few stayed behind.

The man had a sallow face and a visible scar on his throat, but he was dressed well. He shook hands with Kihyun and introduced himself as Luke, before turning to kiss your hand. It made you incredibly uneasy, but you had to go along with it. He paused afterward, holding your hand for a moment.

“A human?” He asked Kihyun and not you, as if he himself weren’t mortal.

Kihyun cast you a glance before looking back at Luke. “She is. Is that a problem?”

Luke laughed and pat Kihyun on the shoulder. “Nah, just surprised is all. Snatched yourself up a live one, eh?”

He nudged Kihyun with his elbow as if he was supposed to know what that meant, and Kihyun forced a laugh in return.

You were invited to sit at the table opposite him, and a woman appeared not long after to serve you drinks. Luke insisted you have a dry martini, because you “looked like the type”, even though you weren’t. However, you weren’t going to argue and accepted it graciously. In fact, you were glad you were given something strong, and sucked it down with a grimace. You needed the courage to get through this night.

“The old man talks about you a lot.” Luke said, shuffling a deck of cards mindlessly.

“I’m sure he does.” Kihyun replied.

“I didn’t think I’d ever lay eyes on you. He was always going on about how you were going to take over, but I didn’t believe it, he seemed delusional.”

Kihyun smirked. “Well he was half-right.”

Luke looked up and stopped shuffling. “Is that right?’

“I do plan on taking over, but not in his succession.”

A devious smile curled over Luke’s thin mouth. “You’re going to other-throw the king?” He asked, and you were surprised Luke knew so much for a mortal.

“Not without help.”

The way Luke laughed made your body cringe. 

“So you came here looking for dirt?” Luke said as he leaned forward, and now your entire body felt strained as you dug your fingers into your own thighs, swallowing as you watched him.

“There are a lot of things you can say about me,” Luke started in a quieter tone, leaning across the small table, getting dangerously close to Kihyun’s face.

“And out of all of them,  a snitch ain't one.”

You cast your eyes carefully over to Kihyun, but instead of fear or apprehension he only smiled, and you saw his eyes burn black. He looked so different from this angle, and it didn’t take you long to catch on.

“I’m not asking you to snitch,” He said, and Luke hovered over the table, the harsh lines in his face slowly relaxing. The other men in the room could sense the tension but also looked at each other in confusion, not sure what they were witnessing.

“I’m asking you to provide me with the information I should have rightful access to, as the new king.”

You relaxed, and his strong words sent a shiver through you. It was the display of utter power you knew he was capable of, and it was as exciting as it was terrifying. In this moment, he could make Luke do anything he wanted.

Luke swallowed and when he spoke, his voice was faint with a hint of fear. “What do you need?”

“Anything that will prove my father is the scumbag we all know he is.”

You almost laughed at that, raising your hand to conceal your smile, especially because you could tell Kihyun might actually be having fun with this.

“Give me a few weeks and-”

“No.”

Kihyun cut him off firmly and the deep tone of his voice startled you.

“A few days?”

“That’s better.”

All at once it was as if Luke was released and he fell back into his chair, almost like he’d been pushed.

Kihyun stood and brushed his hands down his suit. “I’ll be in contact,” He nodded, then turned to you and smiled as he offered a hand. You took it and he pulled you up from the chair.

The men hung back and watched you exit, and no one followed. You could hardly contain yourself on the way out, and once you were in the car you leapt across the center console and threw your arms around him.

“You were amazing!” You gushed, and pressed a kiss onto his temple. He laughed and gently grasped your arms, pulling them down. 

“You think?” He asked, unsure of himself.

“Are you kidding? You had everyone in there wrapped around your finger.”

“Truthfully, I was a little afraid.”

“So was I.” You breathed, and he reached up to stroke some hair back from your cheek.

“I wouldn’t have let anything happen to you.”

You raised your hand to his, keeping it in place and laying your cheek against his palm for a moment. “I know.”

Luke kept his word, and within 3 days he was faxing over document after document. You were surprised that criminals kept documents, it seemed dangerous, but Kihyun explained they had to keep their affairs in order as well, they were just a lot more secretive about who got to see them. 

Every new piece of information that was uncovered made Kihyun’s smile grow wider and wider, and you knew he was getting what he needed. It laid out all the missing pieces, and fully proved how unfit  his father was for his position. 

“I’ll go to the high courts first thing Monday, but I need to spend the rest of the weekend getting everything in order. Victoria has agreed to testify, everything is going exactly as it should.” He said, but when he looked up at you his smile started to fade.

“What’s wrong? You asked, and Kihyun’s arms dropped to his sides.

“I hate to pressure you, but you know there is one last thing.”

You swallowed and nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. 

“I know, and you’ll have your answer soon.” You assured him. You should have just told him then and there what was in your heart, but you had to be absolutely sure. This would alter the course of the rest of your life.

You closed the gap between you and touched his shoulder. “Thank you for being patient.”

“Of course,” He said softly, and you knew he would have waited for a 100 years if you asked him to.

You tried to stay out of his hair the next 2 days while he gathered all his evidence, helping where you could, and all the while mulling over your decision. 

Sunday night, you sat perched on the couch with a cup of tea, while Kihyun shuffled through his paperwork in his office, leaving the door open so you could pop in on him and ask how he was occasionally. He said he liked the breaks from monotony and it kept him from getting too stressed. 

A light wrapping sound on the apartment door took you out of your relaxed reverie, and you instantly felt a knot in your stomach. No one ever knocked, they had to get passed the doorman first and usually he would call up in the event of a visitor. 

Kihyun was so consumed in his work it didn’t seem he even heard it, so you stood and made your way toward the door, peering into the peephole. What you saw made you recoil.

“Kihy-” You started to call out for him, but couldn’t even get your words out before the door was violently broken open, slamming back against the wall and sending you tumbling back as well. As you caught yourself and got to your feet, Kihyun was already there, placing himself in front of you.

You peered over his shoulder, your entire body shaking. You locked eyes with his father and the man smiled.

“What are you doing here?” Kihyun asked in a firm, deep voice, almost growling. You latched onto his shoulder both for leverage and because you were simply terrified. His body felt completely hard and still under your hand.

“You think you could overthrow me and me not even know?” He laughed, then just as soon stopped and let his features set into a hard scowl. “I gave you a choice when I let you leave last time, and you chose wrong.”

“You didn’t give me a choice, you gave me an ultimatum.”

“Dear boy, still so unreasonable,” He took a step forward and Kihyun instinctively moved his arm to cover you, pushing you back even further behind him.

“Top drawer,” He said quietly over his shoulder toward you, and you didn’t quite catch it at first, your brain a trembling mess. 

“What?”

“Top. Drawer.”

Kihyun was not stupid enough to think his father might not try to come after you again, and he had told you that if anything happened, you were to take the key from his desk and open the top drawer on the left and take out what it held inside. He said you didn’t need to worry about what was inside unless it came to that.

You glanced at his father, then him, before scurrying toward the office. You heard the shuffling as his father advanced forward to stop you, but Kihyun seemed to catch him, if the thud of bodies from behind you was any indication. You didn’t want to look back to see.

You pulled the office door closed behind you and locked it, just like he instructed, even though it killed you to  leave him out there alone. Yet, it wasn’t as if you were going to be any help in a fight.

Your hands were shaking so badly that you fumbled getting the key and dropped it twice while trying to open the drawer. Once you finally pulled it open, you reached inside and picked up a pair of light-weight, golden handcuffs. They were engraved with some kind of unknown language and for a moment you were mesmerized by the shine and the intricacy of the lettering, then you wondered how such a measly pair of restraints was going to do you any good.

A crashing from the living room jolted you out of your trance and you jumped to your feet, rushing to open the office door with the handcuffs, but slowing down and acting more cautiously as you pulled the door open. You peeked out just in time to see Kihyun’s father slam him into the ground with one hand, and the sight startled you, making you gasp.

The sound caught the old man’s attention and he looked up at you. Before you could even think about closing the door, he was there in a flash, shoving it open and pushing you back in the process.

“What do we have here?” He asked with a sinister drawl, glancing down at the shiny metal in your hands, then he laughed.

“My son, using magick against his own father, how cruel.” He said mockingly. “Hand them over, girl.”

You shook your head, backing up into the desk in the process.

The man let out an exasperated sigh and advanced on you quickly, and before you knew it the cuffs were hitting the floor and he had your arms behind your back. He started to march you out of the office and even as you tried to use every ounce of willpower to fight back, your body could barely move under his control.

He walked you past Kihyun, who was just barely pulling himself up off the floor. He was in bad shape and he had hit the ground so hard it splintered the wood flooring underneath him. You wanted to cry out for him, but whatever hold his father had over you was much more than physical, and you couldn’t make much noise besides a few whimpers and strained cries.

You felt like your lungs were going to burst once you saw where he was taking you, forcing you towards the balcony. Kihyun had caught on, too and you heard him yell out obscenities at his father as he tried to stagger to his feet, only to stumble again.

His father’s hand was now encircling your throat, and he forced your upper body over the edge of the balcony. You had enough strength to claw at his arm, but it wasn’t doing much, and slowly you were coming up off your feet.

This is it, this is how I die, you thought to yourself, and tears started to sting at the back of your eyes, blurring your vision, which was focusing through the doorway to a battered Kihyun. Somehow he lifted his head in time to watch your eyes, and you tried everything in your power to convey your thoughts to him. You couldn’t speak, but you could think, and you told him everything. Things he already knew, and the things he didn’t. You rushed through as many thoughts as you could in such a small time frame, barely aware that his father was speaking. You caught pieces of it, the same sneering monologue about how Kihyun could have been great, could have been the second greatest king if it weren’t for the girl. 

His grip on our windpipe was making it hard to keep your eyes open, and even as your vision blurred to black and his awful voice tried to invade your mind, you made sure you focused on Kihyun.  

I don’t regret any of it. I love you. 

You repeated the last part like a mantra, it was the only thing to distract you from the pain and the impending doom. But just as quickly as the darkness filled in around you, your eyes snapped open as your feet connected with the ground and you sucked in a heaving breath, making a choked sound through your lungs. You fell to your knees on the balcony and began to cough violently.

You blinked through the tears in your eyes and looked up, to see Kihyun had not only managed to his feet, but had taken his father by the back of his neck and slammed him face-first into the ground, hovering over him with blood staining the edge of his mouth and a wild look in his eyes. He picked him back up by his neck and slammed him down again, and you looked away at the god-awful sound it made as his face cracked against the floor.

When Kihyun was satisfied that the man was incapacitated, he staggered to the office and came back with the cuffs. He fell heavily to his father’s body, and forced his hands into the metal. The cuffs glowed yellow for a moment, red searing over the lettering, and then fading out. You would have to ask him about that later, but right now you had other things to deal with.

 You pushed yourself up on your knees and attempted to stand, but you were dizzy from lack of oxygen still and fell back down. Kihyun, weak as he was, found his way over to you.

“Don’t get up.” He said, coming down onto the ground next to you.

He wrapped an arm around you, all he could do at this point, and pulled you into his chest. You nuzzled your cheek against it, but couldn’t help but look at his father, as if he was going to jump up at any moment, even as he lay in a pool of his own blood.

“Is he...alive?”

“Unfortunately,” Kihyun said, then nodded to the handcuffs, “He’s not going anywhere with those on.”

You trusted him, and after a long moment you were both able to rise with each other’s help. You went to the couch while Kihyun retrieved his phone and made what sounded like an important call. 20 minutes later, a barrage of men in black clothing showed up to carry his father away, and one in a suit spoke with Kihyun for a moment as he sat next to you on the couch. He was regaining his strength quickly, but he was still going to need some time. 

You, on the other hand, were mortal and completely exhausted from the ordeal. Your throat hurt from the strangling and Kihyun encouraged you not to speak too much. Your entire body felt sore and you had a massive migraine.

Just as the men were finishing up some paperwork and heading out, you were shocked to see Victoria come through the ruined doorway. She glided over elegantly, but in a rush with panic on her face.

“I came as soon as I could.” She said, coming over to where you sat. You thought she might go to Kihyun, but you were taken aback when she came to you, taking your hands in hers, brushing your hair back, tsking her tongue like a worried mother.

“I told you that you didn’t need to.” Kihyun said, but you could tell he was trying to hide a relieved smile.

“Don’t be absurd, Kihyun. I told you I would be there for you and I’m here. Oh and this one, look at her, she’s a wreck! You mortals are so fragile, what are we going to do?”

The concerned pitch in her voice and her cold, gentle hands were actually making you feel better, and you even wanted to laugh a little, peering at Kihyun from the corner of your eyes who had the same tired but amused look.

“And this apartment!” She stood and swept her arm over the expanse of the place, which really gave you a moment to take it in. The front door was destroyed, as well as the wall behind it. There were indentations and cracked wood on the floors, scuffs on the walls, and part of the balcony door had shattered when Kihyun went after his father. it was going to take some serious repairs. 

“You two are coming home with me.” Victoria said, and stopped Kihyun with a hand before he could even speak. “I don’t want to hear another word,”

“We’ll be fine, Victoria.” He sighed,

“Maybe you will, but your little dove needs time to heal.”

You blushed deeply at her words, snapping to look at Kihyun. “You told her about that?” You spoke though your voice was hoarse.

“Besides, you can’t relax in this atrocious apartment until its cleaned up. Come now, gather what you can, we’ll get the rest later.” She fluttered her hands in your direction and started for the door, letting her driver know they would be having guests.

“Are you okay with this?” Kihyun turned to you to ask, and you nodded. Even if his father was safely put away for the time being, you didn’t feel very comfortable being here after what transpired.

An hour or so later you were in Victoria’s home, and you almost forgot how much you loved it. She set you up in a guest room with no windows, but a beautiful painting of the seaside above the bed. She brought you something to eat and supplied Kihyun with fresh blood, and part of you wondered why she was being so kind. 

“Victoria, you’ve done enough already.” Kihyun said as she made plans for her chauffeur to take them to court tomorrow. Kihyun would be mostly healed by tomorrow night after a good rest, and he fully intended on seeing this trial through.

“Hush,” She said, then stopped to look at him, back at you, and then back to him again. “Kihyun I never got to properly thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I may have stayed within the family longer than I should have, but you opened up my mind and heart in a way no one else could have. It’s because of you I have the ability to live the way I do now, and I want to see you find that same happiness.”

You felt a swell of adoration for Victoria, watching them talk from where you sat on the bed. Kihyun was sheepish, but you could tell he appreciated the sentiment.

“Now get some rest, you have a big day tomorrow,” She said, then glanced back at you again. “Same goes for you, I’ll make sure you’re well taken care of while Kihyun is gone.” She nodded.

“Thank you Victoria, for everything.” You said, and she gave a dismissive wave before leaving you alone.

You went about your routine in silence before you both settled into bed, facing one another as if it were planned. There was one bedside lamp on, giving the room a copper glow that felt cozy.

Kihyun reached out and trailed his fingers lightly over your neck. “Does it hurt? You’re starting to bruise.”

“it’s tender, but nothing I can’t handle.”

He chuckled and nodded once, “Good.”

There was silence, and you wondered if now was a good time, but you had to know.

“What happened?”

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean one minute you were on the ground hurt, and the next you were beating the shit out of your father.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that one, then quieted down and seemed to get serious.

“I’m not sure if you’ll believe me.”

“Try me.”

He sighed and took a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking again. “I felt so helpless seeing what he was doing to you, but then all of a sudden it was like something cut through the fog. I could hear your voice in my head, yet you weren’t saying anything out loud. The louder you got, the more compelled I felt. It was like I was able to gather all my strength at once. I must have been running off pure adrenaline.”

Your bottom lip quivered hearing his words, and you pulled it under your teeth to try and stop it. He saw the glossy look in your eyes and stopped speaking.

“What’s wrong?”

“You heard me?’ You asked wearily, and his eyes widened.

“So that was you?”

“I couldn’t speak but I was just saying all these things in my head, hoping you could hear me somehow and-” You rushed out in one breath before stopping to suck in a shaky sob. 

Kihyun cradled your face and gently shushed you, leaning in to plant a kiss on your lips. “Hey, it’s okay.”

You tried to breathe deep and regain your composure, overwhelmed by the events of the past few hours, all of it hitting you at once with this revelation.

“I’ve been able to see into people a little bit when I glamour them, but nothing like that, never just hearing their thoughts so plainly.” Kihyun explained, stroking your hair in a comforting motion.

“Can I….say something?” He asked then, and you nodded, wiping away stray tears.

“I love you, too.”

You felt your body go hot at his words, a warm wave of peace washing over you. He had heard that part, too. 

You pushed yourself closer, pressing your face into his chest and inhaling. He wrapped his arms around your back and pulled you close, and you laid like that in silence, his hands stroking you until you fell asleep. 

You weren’t asleep long before you had a terrible nightmare about Kihyun’s father coming back and killing him, and woke up in a cold sweat, panting, Kihyun at your side asking if you were alright.

“It’s just a dream.” He told you over and over again until you relaxed back down in his arms to be held once more.

“Kihyun,” You whispered into the dark of the room after a few minutes.

“Hmm?” He asked, his eyes closed already, obviously tired.

“I want you to change me.”

His eyes shot open and he pulled back to look at you.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve thought about it for a long time, and deep down the answer has always been yes, but I was too afraid to say it. But, after everything, I know for sure now.”

“You won’t have your old life anymore, you know that, right?” He asked, and you suppressed the urge to laugh. Did he really think after all this time you hadn't gone through every possible scenario?

“I already gave that all up, and I don’t miss any of it. I’m here, I’m yours.”

He let out a held breath and pulled you closer.

“If you’re absolutely sure-” He stopped himself from doubting you anymore and continued, “We have to wait until you’re fully healed, it's a strenuous process.”

“I’ll be ready.”

When you awoke hours later, Kihyun was getting ready for the trial, already healed from his battle wounds. You watched from the bed, somehow even more tired than when you had gone to sleep.  He looked handsome in his black suit.

“You’re going to do great.” You assured him, watching him fuss over his tie in the mirror.

“I’ll let you know as soon as its over.” He said, walking over to kiss the top of your head before giving you a little wave from the door. 

Victoria had insisted you stay in bed, and you couldn’t argue with that. Your neck was fully bruised now and the rest of your body felt like you had been hit by a bus. Since they were at the trial, her servants had come to wait on you, and it felt awkward at first, but over the course of the night you came to appreciate their attentiveness and care, because you needed it.

Your stomach was all up in knots about the trial, and you checked your phone obsessively over the course of 4 hours. Finally, Kihyun texted you one simple sentence.

“We did it.”

You could almost burst from joy, not that you ever doubted it. Especially with his father’s most recent behavior, the courts had to see how unfit he was, and how capable Kihyun would be. 

When Kihyun got home, he came straight into the bedroom, lifted you out of the bed, and kissed you hard.

“Be gentle!” Victoria called from the hall, still worried about your frail mortal body, as she put it. You giggled against Kihyun’s mouth, not minding one bit.

“Did I just kiss a king?” You asked cheekily, and Kihyun laughed.

“You sure did, your majesty.” 

Your face fell as he eased you back down on the bed. “What was that?”

“Once I change you, you’ll be my queen. I mean, not that you aren’t already,” He teased, “But in the court’s eyes, it will be official.”

It was a lot to take in, and you wondered if you were fully prepared for all this. Then again, you had never been prepared for all that had happened lately and you seemed to be doing just fine.

Typically becoming king meant moving into the king’s quarters, but Kihyun didn’t think it would be wise to take you back to a place that had such horrid memories for you. Plus, he had no desire to inherit something his father had put so much hate and corruption into. He sold the estate off to another official in the higher ranks and purchased a renovated 3-story Victorian house downtown, close to all of his clubs.  He made sure one of the rooms was reserved for your studio. 

Through all the chaos and transitioning, you asked almost every day when he was going to change you. You healed through this time and were back to your usual self, but still he told you “soon”, and that he would know when. 

Kihyun was already laying the groundwork for all of the new changes he planned to bring to the vampiric world, and clean up the mess his father had left behind. He was busy, but he always made time for you. If he couldn’t, you would occupy yourself painting or hanging out with Samantha at the club that started it all. He had even let you take creative control over some of the stage productions, and it occupied a good chunk of your life now.

Finally, it came at a time you least expected. Just when you had stopped asking, he sprung it on you when you came home one evening.

“Tonight? Are you sure?” You asked.

“Why, did you change your mind?” He asked, half-teasing.

“Of course not!”

“Then come with me.”

He guided you to your bedroom and instructed you to change into something comfortable.

“It’s going to be a long night.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and did as he instructed, watching as he did the same. He dimmed the lights and came to sit next to you on the bed.

“Are you nervous?” He took your hands into his, feeling them tremble. It reminded you of the first time he ever fed from you. 

“A little.”

“I’ll be right here the whole time.”

“So how does this work?”

“I drink from you, like I've done before, only this time when you get to that drained state, I nourish you with my own blood.” He explained, rolling his sleeves up. 

“Interesting.”

“Don’t ask me how it works, I just know you have to be at a certain high point in order for my blood to take its affect on you.”

“Will it hurt?”

He pursed his lips and hummed. “I can’t say for sure, I’ve never experienced it myself.”

“That’s comforting.” You scoffed, and he chuckled.

“It might be uncomfortable, but it won’t be unbearable. Besides, I know you’re strong, you can handle it.”

You felt a little bit of relief from his words.

“Now, come here,” he said softly, making a shiver run down your spine. You did as you always did, move your hair to one side and crane your neck toward him so he had access to the right spot. He knew your veins by now, it never took him long to pinpoint your pulsing blood, and he sank his teeth into it. You didn’t even flinch now, just closed your eyes and made a happy noise.

He drank from you, only this time taking more than he ever had. This time, you were hazy and dizzy before he even pulled away, like you were suddenly very drunk off good wine. Your eyelids fought to stay open and you swayed.

“Stay with me.” You heard his voice as he steadied you by the shoulders, and you nodded faintly.

You could see Kihyun lift his wrist to his own mouth, and when he pulled away, dark red blood ran down his arm. He cradled your head and brought it up to your mouth. When it touched your lips it was surprisingly ice cold, which shocked you out of the haze a little, and you began to drink. It was bitter at first, metallic and robust in flavor, but as it slid thick and sticky down your throat you began to enjoy it.

You suckled the wounds he’d made with your eyes closed, and he stroked the back of your head and whispered encouraging words. When he had felt like you had enough, he guided you onto the bed to lay on your back. The room was spinning something fierce, so you closed your eyes to find some control of it.

The swimming in your head was starting to scare you a little, and you reached out your hands and felt Kihyun take them and lay them down against your stomach.

“I’m here.”

He laid next to you and you tried to breathe deep to fight through the waves of nausea and vertigo. You almost drifted to sleep, when you were jarred out of it by a hot feeling running through your veins, like they were all on fire. Your body jolted and your eyes shot open.

“It burns.” You moaned, clenching your fists against his hands.

“I know, it’s normal.”

“How would you know?” You mumbled, a little aggravated, but Kihyun knew it was only because of the pain and he let it go with a small laugh.

It came over you in waves, like hot lava bubbling over the surface before breaking through the rock. Every time, your body would convulse on its own, and Kihyun would squeeze you a little tighter to him and help you through it. It lasted for hours, and you didn’t speak much, you were too out of it, but every now and then you would say something, like ask him how much longer or comment on a change you felt in your body. Kihyun was patient and spoke quietly, soothing you in every way he knew how.

Soon the sun would be coming up and the waves got shorter and less invasive. You actually started to relax and now you were getting sleepy. 

“I’m so proud of you.” Kihyun said, kissing your temple.

“Hmm?”

“Go to sleep.”

That was the last thing you remembered before you passed out.

When you awoke, you felt groggy, but good. Your body didn’t hurt anymore, in fact it felt better than it had in ages. No nagging back pain, no foggy morning headache, no aching limbs.When you pulled yourself to your feet and found the mirror, you were shocked at what you saw. It was you but...different. You were a little paler, but your eyes were brighter, and everything looked smooth and crease less. You pet your hair, softer than you ever remembered.

Kihyun walked in and stopped short, expecting to see you in bed.

“You’re up.” He smiled, then realized what you were doing.

“This is so strange.” You commented, not looking up at him, and he laughed.

“I don’t notice that much of a difference,” He shrugged. Of course he would say that.

“I hope I wasn’t too much trouble.” You said, now turning to him.

“Not at all, it was an honor, actually. How do you feel?”

“I feel great,”

“Good, we’re going to the club then. I want to celebrate with you.”

“Don’t you have work?”

“Work can wait.”

An hour later you were headed to the bar to see Samantha, who stared with wide, happy eyes when she saw you.

“You gorgeous creature of the night, you!” She gushed as she came around the bar to hug you, then pulled back to pet your hair and cup your chin.

“You make a beautiful bloodsucker, my dear.”

You laughed and looked away, embarrassed, and the two of you chatted, catching up since the last time you had been there. After awhile, she showed you to a private booth and brought you blood-tinged cocktails, which you enjoyed immensely.

As you took in the scenery, Kihyun close to your side, your mind wandered to how you got to this point. From being a silent observer, to a portrait painter, to so much more. It all seemed like a wild dream.

“I’m curious about something,” You said then, as a sudden memory gripped you.

“What’s that?” He asked, leaning close.

“When I first started painting you, you changed my passcode for the club. Anima mea, was it?”

Kihyun swallowed a drink of his cocktail and nodded, but he avoided your eyes.

“What does that mean? I know what the original passcode means, obviously, but not that one.”

Kihyun placed his drink down and cleared his throat. “It means...my soul.”

You blinked at him in confusion, and also felt your stomach do a little flip as a smile slowly took hold of your lips.

“Oh?”

“I mean when I first gave it to you, it had to do with the painting. You were capturing my soul.”

“Oh,” You responded, deflating at his explanation. 

“It did take on a new meaning for me after awhile, though.” He said then, and you waited for him to continue.

“You didn’t just capture my soul, you are my soul.” He said, then nervously looked away. Even after everything, he still got shy around you.

You lay your hand on top of his and leaned in to kiss him, closing your eyes tight as you conveyed through your thoughts alone that he was yours, too. He got the message loud and clear.

[youremyonlyhope]

The Last Jedi

Here we go. The most controversial Star Wars movie ever (unless Rise of Skywalker has reviews that are just as mixed. I haven’t read any so I don’t know how it’s been received yet.) I actually really really enjoyed the Last Jedi, but I haven’t rewatched it since I saw it in theaters.

Also, unrelated, but literally just a few hours ago I met Oscar Isaac. I was doing a caroling event where I work, and he came by with his son to watch. During one of our breaks, he asked if his son could try the microphone and he held him up so he could whisper and sing stuff into the mic. It was adorable.

I seemed to be the only person who recognized who he was, though one of my co-workers said he had thought so too but he wasn’t sure until I confirmed it. So I went up to Oscar and said hi, asked if he was Oscar Isaac, shook his hand, and thanked him for coming. He says that it was great and that his son loves to sing.

I always joked that I’d bump into Oscar one day since he lives in Brooklyn, but I didn’t think it’d actually happen. And not while I’m wearing a Star Wars shirt and Star Wars socks (which he obviously couldn’t see since I was bundled up in a coat and a scarf and boots but whatever). And definitely not the day before I’m supposed to see the Rise of Skywalker.

I’m still freaking out oh my god. Ok. Time to rewatch the Last Jedi.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... This was the first Star Wars movie I’d seen in theaters in like 12 years at this point. Seeing those words on a giant screen again was amazing. “Certain that Jedi Master Luke Skywalker will return and restore a spark of hope to the fight.” I love that line. I love any and all comparisons of Luke to hope. Yes I am biased. But also, restoring the spark is exactly he does in the end so yes, I love it. It’s just now hitting me that we’re picking up exactly where we left off. Having 1 night between the two movies is every different than having 2 years. ...Was that whatsherface from Game of Thrones, Catelyn’s creepy sister? (IMDB says yes) *BB8 beeps* “Happy beats here buddy, come on.” BB8 sort of said the thing! Also, OH MY GOD I JUST MET OSCAR ISAAC AND NOW HERE HE IS ON MY SCREEN WHAT THE HELL. Was today even real? Oh General Hugs. “Skinny guy. Kinda pasty.” Knowing Oscar and Domnhall are friends makes this better. Oh BB8. Very honorable of Billie Lourd’s Lieutenant Connix to make sure she’s in the last ship leaving the base so everyone else leaves before her. I forgot about the chain reaction of bombs destroying their own Resistance ships... You know, Paige dying while dropping the last of the bombs was already emotional. Rewatching it after you know she’s Rose’s sister makes it worse. First Binary Sunset of the movie. General Hugs has a very good upset face that makes me not feel bad for him at all. More like I want to punch him. Snoke can use the Force across the galaxy... forgot about that. I realized I didn’t mention this in the last one, but I remember the crew complaining that when they filmed the end of Force Awakens it was a cloudy day, but then when they went back to the island for TLJ it was super sunny. And now that it’s been pointed out, I noticed it immediately. Luke throwing the lightsaber. I can’t remember if I was spoiled for this but I feel like when I watched it, I wasn’t that thrown off by it. Something else I didn’t mention at the end of Force Awakens is that I LOVE this set. The stone houses are amazing. Oh porgs. Also, that porg looking into the lightsaber always gives me anxiety. The first words we hear Luke say in 40 years are an annoyed “Go away.” which at least is less whiney than the Tosche Station. Oh Chewie’s like “DUDE. WE NEED YOU.” “Wait... where’s Han?” Awww. Throwing in a little Vader’s theme in there. More temper tantrums. People getting mad at Luke calling a lightsaber a laser sword (in a purposefully mocking way) even though George Lucas himself called them that in some interviews. Yes, it’s not a laser sword, but Luke is trying to show how ridiculous he thinks the idea of him taking down everything is by calling a lightsaber that. I remember being like “Luke... no let’s not just milk that thing... oh ew” I do love the shot of Luke using the giant stick to cross to the other cliff and kill the fish. God that’s a steep hill. “No one’s from nowhere.” “Jakku.” “Alright that is pretty much nowhere.” That’s funny. “It’s time for the Jedi to end.” Remember when that line in the trailer made the fandom literally break down? I love knowing that behind the scenes, Carrie had to slap Oscar a billion times. Also, I do not blame Leia at all. So many people were mad about Leia and Holdo demoting Poe, but Poe was too fearless in that moment. Yes, he destroyed the ship and it worked out, but they lost so many people and they already didn’t have many to begin with. It was worth it, but at a very high cost. So I don’t blame her. Heyyyyyy it’s that girl from that Black Mirror episode and what was that other show? Chewing Gum or something? (IMDB says yes it’s Michaela Coel) See and Poe’s already learning a little by asking permission. Of course... later on he doesn’t ask permission... but whatever. Leia’s Theme... causing me pain. Oh, Kylo didn’t kill his mom. We’re supposed to be happy about that? The bar is on the ground. The utter horror I felt the first time the control room was destroyed and Leia was pulled into space. Oh I love the moment when Leia flies in. Because I’d heard that in the books and comics, we get to explore Leia’s Force abilities and stuff but we don’t get it in the movies besides “I feel that Luke’s in trouble.” Which sucks, because she is the “other” if Luke didn’t work out, so she’s just as strong as Luke if she got trained. They should have just trained both kids honestly, why did they pick the boy? Not saying Obi-Wan and Yoda are sexist... but they’re probably sexist. Also, foreshadowing. I actually noticed the hologram of the ship and Leia flying through this time. Oh Chewie. I like the porg that literally has his jaw dropped in horror. Knowing now that the dice were kind of a symbol of Kira (was that Emilia Clarke’s character?) and Han’s relationship makes me not like them as much. Still, cute throwback that they’re still on the Falcon. We can just ignore they weren’t there in Force Awakens (I kept an eye out and didn’t see them) The way Luke laughed when he said “R2!” I just... my heart. “Nothing can make me change my mind” *R2 plays the Leia hologram* I literally just went “AWWWW” out loud because I forgot that that’s why R2 started playing it. Oh my heart. That hurt the first time. Luke standing over Rey, but offering to help her. Parallels. Oh Admiral Ackbar. I love Holdo’s dress. I love the draping. Someone teach me how to make it. “Thank you for making me aware.” Yeah Poe, she already knows. Stop mansplaining. This is literally a case of mansplaining, why would Poe think he’d have to explain to a commander that there’s no fuel? Yeah it’s a little harsh, but is Holdo wrong? All of these fanboys complain about Canto Bight, but forget that it was Poe’s idea. Then they go and say Holdo was too mean should have put Poe in charge. Guys. Poe’s impulsive. We love him, but he’s the ultimate Gryffindor with no fear and will just do anything without considering consequences. I do wish Holdo had been more open like “I have a plan. You don’t need to know all the parts of it. Just let me do what I need to, ok?” instead of “Just follow my orders.” but still. Oh poor Rose. “Doing talking....” Oh she’s so cute. “I’ve had to stun 3 people trying to use this escape pod.” We love a girl who can fight. Yeah. Once again. Not mad at Rose. Finn does have some selfish tendencies, he’s well meaning but ultimately selfish (or at least, only thinking of Rey). So I do not blame Rose for stunning him.

And now I will take a nap since I have to go to a show tonight. And then I will finish the last 3/4-ish of the movie when I get home later.

Annnnd I’m back!

See. Rose has good reason to be mad at deserters. Ok so it wasn’t Poe’s idea to go to the Star Destroyer it was Finn’s. I will give him that. But still Poe went along with it. “That... wasn’t exactly my...” Oh 3PO. I wish Maz had had a bigger scene. More Lupita please. I have one question: from what angle is this hologram filmed? And how does the camera follow her? I guess it’s multiple hologram cameras, but still, it followed her as she rolled and ran around. Also, did Finn call Maz or did Poe call her? Because as far as we know, only Finn knows her. It seemed like they both had the idea to call her, but that Poe had it first. Did Finn tell Poe about Maz? I’m glad they showed Finn handing Poe the binary tracker thing, since for a second I was like “What if Rey had popped up next to Finn on the Star Destroyer?” I’m glad Rey’s first instinct is to shoot Kylo. “Can you see my surroundings?” “You’re gonna pay for what you did.” “I can’t see yours.” Why do I remember that line so vividly? Why does it make me feel so unsettled? Rey, my sweet Rey, I wish you had just told Luke that you saw Kylo. I love Luke’s explanation of the Force. And him messing with Rey was funny. I love when Rey’s reaching out and feeling life, death, peace, violence, etc. And I love Luke saying the Force doesn’t belong to the Jedi, because it doesn’t. The Jedi failed years ago. “You didn’t even try to stop yourself.” Luke’s horrified. But also, Rey’s just like an extreme version of Luke. Yoda knew that Luke’s emotions could make him vulnerable to the dark side, Rey’s already vulnerable. Yeah, I don’t blame Luke for being scared of Rey after he feels like this is Ben all over again. Oh my god. I love the porg that has a metal piece over its head. That actually made me laugh out loud. Poor Chewie.

I just had to refresh tumblr because my draft wasn’t saving. It brought me back to my dashboard. Where there was a spoiler for the new movie and it wasn’t tagged. PLEASE tag your spoilers people.

The water hitting Kylo still confuses me. Say what you will about the Canto Bight plot... the costumes are AMAZING. The costumes literally make the whole side plot worth it to me. Literally I was just in awe by all the costumes during every single scene. And the set! The set’s fantastic too! I literally just paused every single second to take in all of the costumes. Do I care if the Canto Bight trip ended up pointless? Nope! Because it gave me some of Star Wars’ best costumes. Oh... to be an extra in the Canto Bight scene... Just show up... And put on a beautiful outfit... And do nothing else but pretend to drink, talk, and gamble... That’s the dream. Oh hi Mark Hamill! That was cute that they let him voice that little thing. I remember noticing the thing and being like “...is he important?” and nope, it’s just Mark doing an extra voice. Oh I love the Fathiers. Aww and it’s the little Force sensitive boy. I have thoughts about that kid that I can get into later. The way BB8 jingles with the coins. I love it.

Rey: *Does a move with her stick* Rey: *Does the same exact move with the lightsaber* Fanboys: She’s too good too fast! Mary Sue!

As I said throughout all of the Force Awakens, she’s just applying the skills she already had. If anything, a lightsaber’s easier since it’s half the length and she doesn’t have to worry about the back of it hitting her. LOL, remember when we thought this shot was an epic shot of Luke training her? Good times. Oh that poor fish nun. Everything Luke says about the Jedi is true (also did I not say they failed earlier in the post? Luke agrees with me). Rey’s right that a Jedi got Ani to come back from the dark side, but the Jedi’s system enabled him to turn in the first place. Soooooo yeah. Oh Luke. Don’t blame yourself. Kylo was already basically gone. Sure, seeing his uncle standing over him with a lightsaber definitely didn’t help... but it’s not the only thing that made him turn. Who is this captain of the medical ship? He looks familiar. (IMDB says he’s Danny Sapani. I probably recognized him from the Crown) Oh BB8. Finn, did you learn nothing from Rey? Put the cover back on the vent! Awww the Fathiers have such sad eyes... I love the Resistance ring. Can I buy one? Ok. The shot of the bubble egg lady singing felt like it was much longer the first time, but it’s really only a split second. I. LOVE. THE. CANTO. BIGHT. SET. I know it’s a real town in like Italy or somewhere near the Mediterranean. I want to go. I love it. I love that the first thing Luke does when he decides to use the Force again is to seek out Leia. Oh poor Adam became a meme after this. He just has a very wide and bulky body, ok? God Luke looks so scary in Kylo’s flashback. “Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.” That reflection scene is so visually stunning. So in a way, it’s like Luke is failing Rey like he failed Ben. He’s not helping her in the way she needs, so she’s being lured by the dark side instead. I love the walls falling around Luke. “Did you do it? Did you create Kylo Ren?” Rey, he already told you earlier that he believes it’s his fault, so the answer from him is yes. I can’t remember if we hear this story of Luke and Kylo one more time after this or not. “Then he’s our last hope.” Ok ew. No. Kylo is not allowed to be compared to hope. Only Luke, Leia, or Obi-Wan can be. Oh for a second I thought that torch was a lightsaber. YODA!!!!! I think I had been spoiled for Yoda showing up. It was definitely still exciting though. “The sacred Jedi texts!” Oh Luke. Oh memes. Not as whiney as I remembered. “But that library contained nothing that the girl Rey does not already possess.” Because Yoda knows she stole the books. Oh Yoda. I love Yoda. Oh Rose. Ok, so I will give it to Poe that at this moment it doesn’t seem like Holdo has a good plan. Abandoning ship isn’t necessarily cowardly, but on the surface it does seem like it puts them in more danger. Literally earlier today I watched a video about the layout of the Millennium Falcon, and the escape pods were mentioned. And I thought to myself, wow that must be something from the novels since we’ve definitely never seen that in the movies. Welp... I was wrong... Rey’s in one now. I was about to be like “Do they not care that an escape pod just docked?” before I saw Kylo. LOL the iron coming down like a ship. I feel like I remember being completely terrified when Rey stepped in front of Snoke. Oh BB8. Bumping into stuff. I remember being super relieved that DJ (has he told us this is his name yet? I can’t remember) gave back the medallion. Captain Phasma! Hey girl hey! Leia shooting Poe is still funny to me. Also Lieutenant Billie Connix is smart.  I love the scene of Holdo and Leia saying goodbye. Also, Holdo’s purple hair with her bright blue eyes is super striking. Good choice. Snoke puts down the lightsaber. Unknowingly sealing his fate. Literally when Snoke reveals he connected their minds, I was like OF COURSE. Because the whole time I’m like neither of them are strong enough to do this. “She was more interested in protecting the light than she was seeming like a hero.” See. And that’s the flaw in both Poe and Finn. And Rey to an extent. They’re thinking about the big picture, but in context of smaller things like seeming like a hero, saving Rey, saving Kylo, etc. But Holdo’s thinking of only the big picture. I knew DJ betrayed them, I just forgot how badly.

And here’s another annoyance (which I was sorta trying to touch on earlier). Everyone hates the Canto Bight plot, yet they complain about Holdo trying to take charge. If Poe just let Holdo take charge and ignored Finn and Rose’s idea, then her plan would have been a complete success. No Canto Bight, no DJ to betray them, all the transports make it to Crait unnoticed, and the First Order eventually destroys a ship that’s empty except for Holdo. They complain about Holdo, but don’t think about the fact that Holdo could have prevented another plot they hated if the main characters had just listened to her.

And then Snoke hits Rey and literally puts the lightsaber back to where it will kill him. Ok literally I just misread a caption that said “Lord Vader” as “Lord Voldemort” and I was very confused. Taking a second to say that I love this set of Snoke’s throne room. Been thinking it forever, but Kylo picking up the lightsaber off the ground and seeing the reflection in the smooth red floor is amazing. Kylo igniting the lightsaber through Snoke is amazing. Also, I typed “Ben igniting” before literally freezing for a second and being like “...ok that’s a lot to unpack” I guess when he does something good my brain thinks of him as Ben instead of Kylo. ALSO, arm #16 and #17, I love that Snoke’s arms were cut off too in true Star Wars fashion. And I am VERY excited to see this fight scene again. I told myself not to pause at all during the Kylo and Rey team up fight, but I paused literally a second into it because Binary Sunset yes.

And my idiot brother and my mom are texting in the family group chat so it’s popping up on my screen throughout this scene. Ugh.

All of these red knight weapons are so cool. And I forgot about the one that gets chopped up... Oh my god one is a sword that transforms into a whip. LOVE. IT. And I love the quick lightsaber ignite through the head. Love it. Woah how is there still 44 minutes? I remember this battle being much closer to the end. I was wondering when the red walls went away, but I rewinded and saw that they had been slowly burning away after Rey made something hit them. Nice touch.

Ugh my brother and mom will not stop texting.

“You have no place in this story.” Wow Kylo, harsh. Oh shoot I forgot about the lightsaber breaking until they started their Force tug of war with it. I’d always wondered what would happen if someone lightsped through something... I want to say that I realized what she was doing before they told us, but now I realize that they basically told us what she would do when the First Order guy said “they’re preparing to hyperspeed.” so I guess I just caught on to the obvious hints.

God that moment still gives me chills. The silence. The way it sort of goes black and white. The multiple angles. So good.

I know for a fact that I spent the rest of the movie from this point on with my hands over my mouth in a constant stake of shock/fear/anxiety. Oh BB8. Some people thought this was ridiculous. But I had just spent the last few months rewatching the prequels before seeing this, and compared to the stuff R2 does, BB8 clumsily controlling a walker is nothing. Oh how I love Gwendoline Christie. I FORGOT THAT WE SAW HER EYE IN THE MASK. I hope Phasma survived. She’s so awesome. Ok my quality is like horrendous right now so I’m gonna refresh. LOL I FORGOT ABOUT GENERAL HUGS NEARLY ATTEMPTING TO KILL KYLO. Oh I forgot how much I love Crait as a set location. OH AND THE ICE DOG THINGS! LOVE THEM! Poe petting BB8 when he comes back kills me. I like those space age two person laptops. “People believe in Leia.” *Binary Sunset plays* My heart. Ok for a second I was like “This first person camera is like a war movie” and then it turns and we see the trench and I’m like “...ok... ok fine but that was very literal.” The red footsteps. Just... guys this set is so AMAZING. Ugh, these red streaks of dust behind them are so amazing. And when Finn passes in front of the camera, it gets covered in the dust and blurs part of the lens. Just like the Rathtar goo in the Force Awakens. I wonder if that’s going to be like... the thing of the sequels. One shot that has the camera lens partially covered by something. Also, I just wasted time trying to figure out if there’s an official name for that or not... oh well. The winding stripes left behind as they weave around... just... amazing. YEAH! GO CHEWIE! GO REY! Oh my god I forgot about the porg roaring. “Oh, they HATE that ship!” I’M DEAD. Look at the salt and how it forms the crystals in the trench. I love it. I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SHOT OF THE CAVE FULL OF THE RED SALT. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. I remember when the trailer had the first shot of the gorilla walkers, and I didn’t notice at first that there were normal AT-ATs next to them, and then I realized these things were twice as big as AT-ATs and I was horrified. See, and now Poe has learned that you can’t always be a hero and is making a good decision. I forgot about Finn’s speeder literally melting as he gets closer. I don’t understand the people who were mad that Rose stopped Finn. I for one was HORRIFIED at just the thought of Finn dying this way and thankful she stopped him. “That’s how we’re gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love.” The kiss is pointless but I love the line and sentiment behind it. Oh god. Ok. Here come the emotions. Binary Sunset is playing. I was a wreck. And a little of Han and Leia’s Love Theme as she sees the dice. I remember actually noticing that in the theaters and half-sobbing. Oh god the forehead kiss. Oh and he winks at 3PO as he walks by. My heart. This is the specific shot of the gorilla walkers and the AT-ATs in a line that freaked me out. That shot of Luke standing up against all the First Order walkers and ships. Amazing. That shoulder brush though. Kylo’s so dumb, he literally just watched that lightsaber get destroyed, he HELPED destroy it. He should have known something was up, it couldn’t have been repaired that quickly. Purposeful shot of Luke’s feet not moving the salt. That Matrix back bend though. “I will have killed the last Jedi.” He said the title. Also, is that the only time it’s said? Because they say it a lot in Force Awakens but I don’t think so yet in this movie.. “And I will not be the last Jedi.” Ok so now it’s said again by Luke. Purposeful shot of Kylo’s shoe leaving a footprint as he runs to Luke. I’m pretty sure I probably shrieked when he tried to slice Luke in half.

I just now remembered that I’d actually kind of wondered if he’d be a Force projection or something when he first showed up. Because I’d just watched Return of the Jedi like a week earlier and saw Obi-Wan do it, so I wondered if Luke was doing it too. Especially when Poe said Luke was distracting the First Order. It passed my mind and was confirmed when Kylo couldn’t hit him. And here’s where I started to feel like my world was crumbling...

Oh god. My eyes are wet. It hurts. But when I watched it the first time, I really felt like my world was absolutely falling a part and ending forever while I watched Luke die. With the stupid binary sunset in front of him just like when he was a teenager and when he was a baby. One of the first things he ever saw was the binary sunset. I was like “This is beautiful, but that doesn’t mean I’m not completely in pain and dying.” That shot from above of Kylo with the stormtroopers, mirroring a shot from the prequels of Ani. Nice. So do they still have that connection even if Snoke’s dead?

HEY! Hey. Those dice were still visible to Kylo even after Luke was dead... was Leia Force projecting them to Kylo? It wouldn’t take as much work as doing it to everyone else at once from lightyears away. One person, your son, would be easier. So maybe... maybe Leia’s the one continuing the projection of the dice. I’m gonna stick with that theory thanks.

Awww BB8 asked Rey about his antenna, just like when they first met. Remember when people were like “Are Poe and Rey gonna be a thing?!?!?” and of course I’d much prefer that over Reylo thanks. The books! Somehow, that obvious shot of the books goes over so many people’s heads. So many complaints about the books getting burned, when they literally show us that Rey saved them. I had never noticed the bunks in the Millennium Falcon either until I saw that video earlier, and I’m glad I got to actually see one in use since Rose is sleeping in one.

Oh GOD the entirety of the Resistance can fit on the Millennium Falcon... that is NOT good.

I LOVE the scene of the kids retelling the story of Luke. I must have already gone in depth about this 2 years ago, but I love it. Luke became a legend in the end. He didn’t necessarily want to be one, but he’s become one. It was exactly what was in the opening scroll, he restored the spark of hope. That subtle use of the Force by that little boy. With Binary Sunset playing. And I love that last shot of him holding the broom up like a lightsaber.

I nearly forgot that they put in “In loving memory of our princess, Carrie Fisher” at the end. That’s what got me to finally cry. 40 straight minutes of covering my mouth in anxiety, then feeling like my world was crashing down around me as Luke died. Having it dedicated to Carrie made me just start sobbing so hard. Watch that happen again tomorrow.

I remember when I left the theater, at first I was like “What if the boys is Rey’s brother?!” but then... I realized that a huge point of the movie went over my head for a second there.

The fandom got so caught up in figuring out who Rey’s parents are, whether it’s Obi-Wan or Luke or Leia or even Palpatine, that they were mad when Kylo said they were no one. But like... guys... not every single Force user is related to the Skywalkers or anyone else we already know. There were hundreds of Jedi in the prequels, because anyone can be Force sensitive. Obi-Wan’s parents were nobody, Qui-Gon’s parents were nobody, Mace’s parents were nobody. They didn’t come from long lines of Force users (at least in movie lore), BECAUSE THE JEDI WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO HAVE KIDS. The Skywalkers aren’t even a long line, it’s just 3 generations at this point. So literally none of the Jedi of the past came from powerful Force users (or at least from ones who got the chance to become Jedi) since that literally goes against the code.

Luke found at least 11 other Force sensitive kids to train alongside Ben, their parents were all definitely nobodies since he’s the last Jedi. Ben is an anomaly, Luke and Leia are anomalies, the Jedi don’t have kids! The fandom got so caught up in figuring out who Rey could be related to, that they forgot that for millennia the individual Jedi were not related to anyone.

Anyone can be Force sensitive. Anyone can be a Jedi. Rey is an example of that. That little boy is an example of that. That’s why I love that the little Force sensitive boy was the final shot of the movie. He was meant to reassure and remind us after the Rey parentage reveal that anyone can end up Force sensitive. They don’t need a famous/powerful parent. They can come from anywhere and be anyone. And I love that that’s the final note of this movie.

Some people were not reassured. Some people couldn’t handle the idea that Rey’s powerful just because she’s Rey, not because she’s someone’s daughter. She HAS to be related to someone to be that powerful, right? But every Jedi before her who was just as powerful wasn’t related to anyone, so why does she have to be?

ANYWAY! I was actually worried over the last 2 years that I’d rewatch The Last Jedi and not like it as much as I did in theaters. I still like it a lot. Even the Canto Bight scenes get redeemed by the costumes and the set being so amazing. But I love the message of don’t be a hero, this is bigger than just you. And I love the message that even if you’re “nobody” from “nowhere” you could still be Force Sensitive and you could still be a Jedi. I love Luke’s send off, I love that he does end up reigniting the spark and being a beam of hope again. I love it.

And I’m excited to see the Rise of Skywalker tomorrow.

[forceprojecdin]

Luke Skywalker’s Immovable Joseph Campbell Hero’s Journey In The Last Jedi

Above: Like the Buddha before the massive army, Luke Skywalker’s concentration is unbreakable 

In my other blog about The Last Jedi, I said, “Star Wars needs to be myth; Myth doesn’t need to be Star Wars.” This film put me in a sort of dream state and it stayed with me for hours after. As Joseph Campbell said, “Myths are dreams put on screen.” Which is what Star Wars truly is when at it’s best. So I dived back into Campbell’s classic book, ‘Hero With A Thousand Faces’ to see if this new Luke Skywalker fits the Hero’s Journey. It does. To the letter maybe. It’s almost as if director Rian Johnson cross-checked every idea he had for Luke with that book. Though, sometimes the tropes are flipped, and that’s what makes this movie and director so intriguing!  SPOLIERS AHEAD  The Final Scene With Luke, The At-Ats and Kylo Luke is standing immovable with Kylo, he acts with his body to have very firm footing in one place. He barely moves where he stands at all - which is Buddha on the Immovable Spot, in front of the massive army lead by the god ‘Love and Death’, riding on top of an elephant. Kylo rides high up  in his ship, as such. “The dangerous god appeared mounted on an elephant... and the god then assailed him, seeking to break his concentration... but the future Buddha only moved his hand to touch the ground.” (Hero With a Thousand Faces, p.32). Luke never breaks his concentration - so beautifully acted by Hamill - his feet never leave the ground. Luke also only moves his hand to mimic brushing dirt off his shoulder. Considering that he was also at the the sacred Jedi Tree the entire film, he's pretty much symbolically echoing the Buddha sitting at the Tree of Life. But the Tree is dead and decayed now, the trope is flipped. However, this is The cycle of all myth, death and new life - and part of one of Luke’s teachings to Rey. At the same time, Luke is also similar to Jesus on the cross (which is also wood - a tree), because he willingly sacrificed his life. So the ending is a really cool combination of savior archetypes of both Eastern and Western spirituality. Very Star Wars! Very Campbell. Very powerful. On Contemplating Killing Ben & The Return Of The Non-Violent Jedi This may be the single most divisive and troubling thing for fans. Let me help you! This scene is Campbellian, in that it was designed intentionally to rip you apart to put you back together, in harmony with the Hero’s Journey. This is the scene of what Campbell calls the “nights visitants”, visitors of our dreams. Kylo is sleeping when Luke ‘visits” him. This is not a literal dream on screen, it is a literal event made to feel like a dream on screen. Luke contemplates killing his nephew as he sees the evil he is becoming under his nose. Knowing Kylo’s journey, what Luke is seeing is someone who would bring an ultimate evil, like genocide (Starkiller Base) So, one must seriously consider the practical and believable moral dilemma Luke faces. In the end, he simply just contemplates it. That’s okay. That’s normal. I know a real non-violent activist, he was abducted by Terrorists in Iraq while on a peacemaker mission, and was kidnapped into captivity for 118 days (check out his book about that). He once said to me in a training session, “One must acknowledge their own very real internal violence to move past it”. That’s what Luke did, so that his arc could evolve to the final non-violent scene. He does not attack at all. But I digress. This is the Campbellian dream visit, the psychoanalytical dream, on screen as such. Full of all sorts of familial parent and child issues. You know that whole Oedipal thing of killing your father because he’s a threat to the bond with the mother thing. That’s Kylo in a way, but I digress. Anyhow to quote Campbell about the subconscious in dreams, “Beneath the floor of the neat little dwelling that we call our consciousness... there not only jewels but jinn abide: The inconvenient or resisted psychological powers we have not dared to integrate into our lives... these are dangerous because they threaten the fabric of the security in which we have built ourselves...” (HWATF, p.9). Anyone feel that way about Luke? Feel your security about Luke, yourself, and Star in general threatened? Yes, we made Luke out to be our perfect hero, but such do not exist. This inconvenient vision shows us something in all of us that we do not want to acknowledge. Violence. Failure. Destruction. But Campbell goes on, with this destruction comes “the wonderful reconstruction, of the bolder, cleaner, more spacious, and fully human life - that is the lure. the promise, and terror, of these disturbing night visitants from the mythological realm that we carry within us.” Interesting to note that in his book, Campbell also talks about how Sigmund Freud’s focus was that journey of the child to adult, while Carl Jung focused on the  journey from adult to old age and death. Luke’s journey in TLJ exactly mirrors his one in Return Of The Jedi. In ROTJ, it’s the Freud angle, in TLJ his journey is more Jungian, he faces his internal violence again (a never ending process in reality), he faces his failure, and transcends it to pass into a fully human death. “In order to advance [to death], the shining sphere must descend and disappear, at last, into the night womb of the grave.” (HWATF, p.12). This is Luke looking at the spherical suns descending, as he passes with them, into the womb of The Force. More musings on Campbell quotes from HWATF: “Where we had thought to find an abomination...”  [When Kylo explains Lukes night visit to him to Rey, Luke looks like an abomination from Ben’s point of view. Luke also makes himself out to look abominable to Rey as he drinks the green milk] “...we shall find a god” [Luke becomes like a God in people’s memories across the galaxy, after his final sacrifice]

“Where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves...” [Luke slays himself, not Ben]  “Where we had thought to travel outward...” [Yoda tells Luke he is still looking to the horizon] “...we shall come to the centre of our own existence,” [he sits on the rock, centered in The Force, where he taught Rey how to be as well] 

“Where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world.” [He was alone in self-exile, but in the next movie, he will be with the entire galaxy as a Force Ghost] (p.25) A Non-Violent Coda A great article I recently read had this to add: "Instead of leaping into his X-wing, flying to Crait, and pulling out a can of whupass on Kylo Ren — which is what many of us want to see — Luke behaves like an actual Jedi Knight (in accord with Yoda’s original teachings) and confronts Kylo with cleverness, compassion, and nonviolence." -Taken from this article. All I wanted out of ST Luke Skywalker was for him to acknowledge that he threw down his saber in Jedi. And like the Lurmen Cheif Wag Too says to Anakin in The Clone Wars TV series, "Only when the Jedi lay down their arms and pursue a path of non-violence, will they be true peacekeepers" Like Rey, We All Already Have Everything We Need “See you around kid.” - Luke to Ben at the end of The Last Jedi.’ What is being expressed here is in harmony with one of his lessons from earlier to Rey. That the Force is truly in everything and everyone in the galaxy. “No one is ever really gone,” he tells Leia, then to further the point (if we haven’t gotten it yet!) he say’s to Ben, “I’ll always be with you, just like your father.” All is one. People, things, rocks, X-wings and even Ghosts, ad even the spirit realm. It’s all one. There is no separation. Luke has willingly sacrificed himself and fades into the Force, but he knows he will be with everyone forever. He knows there is no separation between his physical self and his spirit self.

This connectivity in The Force is why Yoda say’s to Luke, “Rey already has everything she needs.” It’s the message that because everything is one, Rey already has all of The Force inside her. Even a poor stable boy now dubbed ‘Broom Boy’ (by fandom) has it. The stable is so Jesus too, oh, and let’s not forget the Harry Potter broom! But Harry had the bloodline, the broom boy does not. Even a girl with no special lineage has it. And that’s the most important message of the whole movie, perhaps now, in the whole saga: That we all have it too, every single one of us. everywhere. In fact it is the one message that every spiritual teacher has brought through history. It was also the most important spiritual message of Joseph Campbell, he said that the that's the treasure every hero brings back, to share with the world, is the knowledge that we are all one. Campbell's Hero’s Journey is widely discussed, but I never hear people talking about this oneness as treasure, that he seemed to repeat so often. I believe that he mentioned it frequently for a purpose. People see him as an author, a theorist and mostly a teacher, however, I see him more as a true mystic, like the Immovable Luke Skywalker.  “The Force is an energy field that connects all living things in the galaxy. It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together.”   - Din P.S. I came across this article, and it’s an absolutely perfect look at the Eastern spirituality of Luke in TLJ. Please read, it’s wonderful!

[tricksterbane]

Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth

summary: Garroway Books is Alec Lightwood’s favorite hangout spot, but ever since Magnus Bane got a job there, he has trouble concentrating on his books. Magnus catches him checking him out one day and, in a panic, Alec picks up a book– an embarrassing one– and pretends to read it. (based on a prompt here) words: 2k warnings: sex reference (i guess??)

The owner of Garroway Books was a tall, dark skinned man named Luke. He was a NYPD detective until a suspect’s dog attacked him and tore up his leg. He decided to give up his career in favor of opening a bookstore with his fiancée, Jocelyn Fairchild. Luke still entertained his customers with stories about the force, some of which were almost too crazy to believe. Jocelyn’s daughter, Clary, was there every afternoon after school. She would sit in an isolated corner with her paint set and her best friend, Simon Lewis. Luke recently hired Maia Roberts, a foster girl with a scrappy attitude and fierce loyalty towards her friends.

To Alec Lightwood, who would often spend hours at the bookstore while his siblings were out being social, the staff was almost like family. They all knew him by name and let him read in silence for as long as he wanted. None of them really bothered him (with the exception of Simon, who didn’t seem to know the definition of the word silence and bugged him relentlessly about his sister Isabelle). The bookstore provided a quiet, stress free environment for when Alec needed a break from his life.

That is, until Luke hired Magnus Bane and the bookstore’s atmosphere completely changed.

None of this was directly Magnus’s fault, of course. Magnus was a friend of Maia’s through the foster care system and Alec had never met anyone quite like him. The system had long ago gifted Maia with a hardened exterior, but Magnus was different. He was a fearless free spirit who refused to let anything stop him from being himself. He shared Alec’s taste in literature and he would always put books aside that he thought he would enjoy when new shipments came in. His instincts were always dead on and Alec’s list of favorite books had grown steadily since Magnus’s arrival.

Even with a whole collection of new books to read through every month, Alec often spent more time focusing on the man himself than actually reading. He’d hear Magnus’ musical laughter as he talked with another customer in the next aisle and he’d have to bite his lip to keep a ridiculous smile at bay. It was even worse when he was actually in his line of vision. Then Alec would get distracted by his brown eyes lined with kohl and his kind smile and the way that his jeans hugged his legs.

Today, Magnus’s spiked black hair was tipped blonde and his eyes were also lined with glitter, which made his eyes flash yellow when the light hit them at just the right angle. Alec had finished his book that Magnus had picked out for him and he really should’ve gone home hours ago, but he didn’t want to leave without discussing it with him.

Magnus was currently helping a perpetually grumpy regular and he climbed up a step ladder with a cat-like grace to grab a book from the top shelf. Maia always flat out refused to deal with this particular man, but Magnus was an expert at defusing tricky situations without bloodshed.

“You’re right, it’s cruel to put books out of reach like that,” Magnus reassured him. “But sadly, sometimes it’s a necessity. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have room for all of our new books.”

“I suppose,” the customer gave him a quick once over. “Thank you, Magnus.”

“Of course,” Magnus hopped off the stool and handed the book to the customer. “I hope your daughter enjoys that book. It’s a thrilling read.” Everyone who met Magnus was seemingly enchanted, which was something that he knew how to use to his advantage. It was truly a wonder that Magnus paid Alec any attention at all, let alone took the time every week to make a reading list for him.

“I’m sure she will,” the customer actually smiled and patted Magnus’s arm gently before departing. Magnus smiled back, the type of smile that seemed to suck the rest of the light out of the room before reaching down to grab the stool. Alec knew that he should look away, but he couldn’t tear his gaze to the way that his pants grabbed at him as he bent over. Magnus straightened up and turned before catching his gaze with a furrowed brow. Alec felt his jaw drop and his heart pound painfully in his chest.

Without thinking, he grabbed the nearest book and opened it to a random page.

“Can I help you with anything?” Magnus asked slowly and he was right in front of Alec before he could process the situation. Alec chanced a look at him and saw that the corners of his lips were upturned in a small smirk. “Belly Laughs? That’s an… interesting choice.”

“Yes,” Alec managed to spit out, even though he felt like his entire mouth had gone dry as soon as Magnus made eye contact with him. “I needed some… lighthearted comedy to break up all the heavy stuff you always give me.” Magnus actually laughed at that, a small giggle that made Alec’s stomach flip.

“Well, I hope you enjoy it,” Magnus reached over and traced a gentle finger over the spine of the book. “Although if you’re looking for a new book to read here, I might not have as much of a chance as I thought.”

“Chance at what?” Alec asked softly. Magnus just gave him an amused smile and shrugged before organizing more books at a nearby table.

“Oh, just some silly idea I had to ask you out on a date,” Magnus stated so casually that Alec felt his jaw drop to the ground.

“A date,” Alec repeated, since there had to be some mistake. Someone like Magnus Bane, so beautiful and intelligent and effortlessly charming, would never dream of asking him out. He would think Magnus was joking, but he had never known him to be malicious.

“Yes,” Magnus met his gaze and Alec could see that he was biting back a smile. If making fun of Alec’s crush was so funny to him, maybe he wasn’t as wonderful as he thought. “But I’m just far too young to get caught up in teen pregnancy drama. Still, I wish you luck.”

“What?” Alec asked with a short laugh. Because his crushing disappointment was quickly being replaced with confusion.

“You’ll have to let me know what you think of the book,” Magnus took the book from Alec and flipped it over so that he could read the page that Alec had turned to. Alec got a glimpse of the title and had never wished to vanish into thin air more in his life.

“Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth,” he read out loud, his cheeks flaming up in humiliation. He was completely screwed. How would he ever explain to Magnus that he was in the maternity section without mentioning that he had been watching him restock? Not to mention that Magnus now thought pregnancy books were Alec’s idea of “lighthearted comedy”. If he didn’t think he was a freak before, he definitely would now.

“You really should’ve just let me catch you checking me out, this book is very… explicit,” Magnus stated nonchalantly as he scanned through the book.

“Oh god,” Alec blanched. “Can the floor swallow me up yet?”

“Shh, I’m enthralled,” Magnus held up a hand to silence Alec as he leaned against the nearest bookshelf. “Listen to this. ’Finally, his sperm have been put to good use. His poor little fish didn’t have to die in a cold rubber, drown in spermicide, or get scrubbed out of your hair’. She has a point, that’s never fun.”

“It doesn’t really say that,” Alec scrambled to Magnus’s side, choosing to completely ignore his offhanded comment. He flipped the page and widened his eyes as the author went into more detail about her child’s conception than he ever needed to know. “I really hope that her kid’s illiterate.”

“But then he couldn’t ever get a job at a bookstore and spend way too much time trying to seduce an adorable but frustratingly clueless customer with book lists,” Magnus sighed morosely as he met Alec’s gaze. “And it would be truly tragic to deny him of that, wouldn’t it?”

“I guess,” Alec couldn’t help but grin. Magnus stepped closer and placed a quick kiss to Alec’s lips. It was over before Alec could react at all or even process that he tasted vaguely of strawberries or that he raised that horrid book to shield their faces from the rest of the store.

“I’m sorry,” Magnus raked his teeth over his lower lip gently, his eyes shining with amusement and something else that Alec couldn’t quite place. Alec just stared dumbly back, his heart racing and his own lips tingling with an urge for more. “You just have an incredibly beautiful smile. I know we haven’t had a proper date, but I was overcome with the urge to kiss you.”

“I- um,” Alec rubbed the back of his neck gently. “That wasn’t a real kiss.” Magnus’s eyebrows shot up and he opened his mouth in a quirked smile, seeming to already have a quip prepared, but Alec had already gone for a second kiss before he got to hear it. He took his time in getting to know how Magnus kissed, from the slight pressure of his chin pressing up against his own to how damn soft his lips were to him raising the book back up again (and now their first two kisses were hidden behind the pages of a horrifyingly detailed pregnancy book) to the smile that hadn’t quite disappeared. Alec could feel Magnus surrender control, seemingly deciding to eagerly follow Alec’s lead instead of fighting for power. He was beginning to remember that he was kissing Magnus at his place of work and how, while Luke would never fire him for that, it could still land him in a bit of trouble. Magnus broke the kiss before he could concern himself too much and looked back at him, his eyes glimmering with happiness.

“I should get back to work,” Magnus said softly as he lowered the book back to his side. Alec wanted to kiss him again and give him the same control that Magnus had given him just to see where it would lead. “But my shift ends in about an hour and a half. We could go to that cute little bakery across the street and pick up a snack?”

“I would love that,” Alec stated quickly. For the first time, he heard a flicker of hesitation in the always confident Magnus Bane’s tone. “A lot, actually. I can’t wait, Magnus.”

“Wonderful,” Magnus placed a quick kiss on Alec’s cheek before putting Belly Laughs back on the shelf where it rightfully belonged.

Magnus spent the rest of his shift sneaking winks in Alec’s direction and bringing him increasingly ridiculous books when the crowds lulled. Alec spent the rest of it avoiding the parenting aisle like the plague and flipping through the books when Magnus started to take up too much of his thoughts.

After Magnus got off of work, he found Alec and they left Garroway Books together. They weren’t quite hand in hand, since Alec wasn’t a huge fan of PDA, but they walked close enough together so that their arms would brush together as they swung at their sides. Magnus spent their date listing the books that were coming in the next shipment to give Alec a heads up on what to expect with his next book list and breaking off pieces of his cupcake to give to Alec. Alec had always enjoyed listening to Magnus talk and watched him with a fond smile as he moved his fingers animatedly while describing a Stephen King novel that was expected to be delivered.

They sneaked many quick kisses in between conversation points, but neither of the boys felt compelled to hide them anymore.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Details Surrounding Beth’s Return: Beth and Daryl as Protectors of Children

Okay, so this is a theory I’ve been hashing out somewhat with @boltthrutheheart. As I told her, I’ve always had this head-canon about Beth returning with children. Not her own, of course, but just having children in her care when she returns. If she’s leading a group, it’s very plausible that there could be children in it. And I never knew why I had that head-canon, but I always did. I’ve been thinking about it more since S7 ended, and some interesting things occurred to me. I might have been picking up on some of these things subconsciously. So I ran it by @boltthrutheheart and she had some truly ingenious insights into it!

The basic theory is this: Not only has Beth been shown as a caregiver and protector of children in the past, but they foreshadowed that she would also be on in the future, when she returns. Believe it or not, it’s actually another way in which they’ve paralleled her with Daryl, and shown how they’re soul mates.

Okay, now you’re gonna want bread crumbs. So let’s get into it.

Season 3:

1) So the main, obvious evidence here is that she is Judith’s caregiver. Pretty much every scene after Judith is born features Beth taking care of her, and rarely do we see Beth without Judith.

2) It’s also significant that, even though it’s Daryl that feeds Judith when he and Maggie return with the formula, Beth is standing right there, obviously concerned over Judith’s well-being. She hands him the bottle and may have helped prepare it. It’s almost like the two of them are parenting her right then.

3) We saw Sasha mistake Beth for being Judith’s mom when Sasha and Ty first arrived at the prison. (In our FB group we like to use this as evidence that even back in S3, Beth was not considered a child. Yes, underage teens can have babies too, but even strangers didn’t blink an eye at Beth possibly having a baby. She was an adult by everyone’s standards.) But for purposes of this theory, it’s just significant that they kind of foreshadowed Beth actually having a baby, and had people assume she was Judith’s mom.

4) And of course there’s this scene we all love to discuss, where Beth talks about how Daryl saved Judith and also about wanting a child of her own someday.

Fast forward to S4:

So during 4a, Beth is still seen with Judith constantly. I talked about this a little bit in THIS post about episode ¾ lineups. Beth has Judith on the other side of the door to keep her quarantined from the virus. I talked about how Judith’s role in this foreshadowing might point toward Beth returning when Maggie is pregnant, and point toward the Glaggie baby. Or it might foreshadow her taking care of Judith in some way when she returns (since chances are Maggie’s baby won’t have been born yet.)

I have a more specific head canon about Judith getting kidnapped (if it happens, it’ll most likely be by the wolves) and Beth saving her. We actually have some evidence that MAY point to this as late as S6, when Rick found the baby carrots on the wolves that attacked the RV, and when Denise found the remains of a dead child just before she herself was shot. So you never know.

But here’s where things become really compelling for me. For most of 4a, Beth simply takes care of Judith, which is important but just more of what we saw in S3. Then, when the prison goes down, Maggie gets Glenn to the bus and starts screaming for Beth. The woman on the bus specifically tells Maggie that Beth went to find Judith. Understandable, given that she was pretty much Judith’s mother at this point. But in terms of foreshadowing, it also might point to more.

When Daryl shoots douchebag in the chest and Beth come running out behind him, she says, “I was looking for the kids, to get them on the bus.” It’s odd to me that she says, “the kids” rather than just Judith. It’s not like Daryl doesn’t know who Judith is or would wonder why she’d be looking for Judith. I don’t know what that might point to–other than her leading a group of kids when she returns–but it stands out to me as odd.

After the prison, she mentions Sophia in Still. But doing the re-watch, it’s struck me over and over again how many references there are to children around Beth.

In Inmates, when she and Daryl find tracks, she suggests they might be long to “Luke or Molly.” Those were the other two kids at the prison. We never found out what happened to them, which is probably significant. 

When we see the disembodied shoe on the ground, it’s always looked small to me. There’s really nothing in the scene to compare it to for scale, but I’m pretty sure it’s a child’s shoe. 

Which is why Beth and Daryl believe the people they were tracking (the small prints actually belonged to Lizzie and Mica) have all died. But again, we have Beth crying over children she couldn’t save.   

When she bandages Michonne’s foot in 4x02, she specifically asks if any kids died. Then she talks about how there we have words like orphan and widow, but why isn’t there a word for a parent that’s lost a child. I think that’s really heavy foreshadowing for something to do with Beth, but we haven’t seen it yet.

Then there’s the voice over from Beth’s diary in Inmates. I analyzed the entire sequence HERE, but she specifically mentions Lori’s baby and that they need a safe place for it to be born. 

The last one I’m aware of in S4 is in the flashbacks in 4x16. In that, we once again see her taking care of Judith in the prison. And yes, it was a flashback, but even so. Remember that most everything we see in the show reaches forward, not back. So that again tells me we’ll see either Beth + Judith or Beth + other kids or both.

Now let’s talk about Daryl. Thanks to @boltthrutheheart for this insight because I’m not sure I would have looked at it quite from this angle.

Daryl too, has always been shown as a protector of children. It’s subtler only because we rarely see him actually caring for children the way Beth did. But he searched for Sophia, even more than her own mother did, in S2, took care of and fed Judith in S3, and then in S4, when Patrick turns and attacks the cell block, we see him rescuing look, who obviously knows and trusts him.

We also have him telling Andrea the story about how he got lost as a child–much like Sophia did–and no one looked for him. That story is the key to why Daryl searched for Sophia, and gives a lot of insight into his soft spot for children.

In S5, he showed a lot of concern for Judith in 5x10, telling Rick she was hungry. It was totally a deflection on his part, but still. And then I’ve always thought it was cute in 5x12 when TF is settling in for the night and Rick sets Judith in her play pen. It’s quick and subtle, but you see Daryl lean in toward Judith, as though he’s playing with her or just making sure she gets settled okay. (All together now: Awwww.)

So two things that are important about all of this:

1) Beth totally knows how Daryl feels about kids. She understood how much Sophia affected him, as she said in Still. And that’s especially important because when Sophia came out of the barn, Beth was going through her own personal hell. So she either still noticed it or just thought about it and put the pieces together later. Which means she was totally thinking about Daryl. We also heard her tell Carol that she knew how much Judith meant to him and how hard he fought to make sure she didn’t die.

Daryl knew that Beth cared for Judith pretty much every day of her life until the prison fell, so it’s not like he’d be oblivious to how much Beth cares for children. This is something they share and understand about one another.

2) @boltthrutheheart also pointed out that we haven’t seen Daryl interact with children in quite the same way since Beth died, and that’s super important. As I said above, we did see him express concern for Judith in S5, but we haven’t seen him hold her at all. There were plenty of kids in Alexandria, but we haven’t seen him interact with them in the same way he did with the kids in the prison. It almost seems like he might be avoiding them.

Could it be that equates children with Beth, and hasn’t been able to interact heavily with them since he lost her? Is this yet another way the writers are showing us that he still is nowhere near “over” Beth’s death. Hmmm.

Two other interesting things occurred to me while re-watching that might be further evidence for this.

Both Tyreese and Carol have been paralleled with Beth in various ways. Tyreese was Judith’s caregiver and his death was heavily entangled with Beth’s. Carol and Beth have about a billion parallels, but in S4, the biggest one is that Carol was estranged from TF for a short time, but returned in time to save the day at Terminus. Prior to that, of course, she reunited with Tyreese and the girls.

So we have Ty, a proxy to Beth, who SAVED JUDITH, and is leading two young girls through the woods, protecting them, until they can all reunite with TF. Now, granted, Lizzie and Mica didn’t make it that far, which sucked. But I think Beth may be in a similar situation–leading children, perhaps saving Judith–when she returns.

Where Carol is concerned–and this was really the thing that kicked off me thinking about this whole theory–it’s significant to me that when she shows up in Inmates and reunites with Ty, she’s carrying Judith. I know he had Judith with him anyway, but something about that feels very significant to me. Like Beth will be carrying a child or baby–maybe Judith, maybe someone else–when she returns.

So, just wanted to point this out. Just conjecture at this point. A true theory, but the more I re-watch, the more convinced I am that it’s a thing. I’m sure there are more Beth/child references that I missed. I think Beth will either be leading kids or else perhaps will save Judith in some way. I’m cool with either option. ;D