#also yes that is a sneaky code monster in the back

[sarcasticidi9t]

anyone play littlebigplanet? i still do >:D i plan on making every single qsmp member from scratch, starting with:

Missa!

heres a better look at the costumes. i couldnt decide whether i wanted him to be fully skeletal or a human skeleton, so i did both lmao. the go to hc is cat q!missa, but personally i like depicting him as a jurrasic park sized velociraptor.

i am begging for more dinosaur missa. guys please

also he glow in the dark. glowstick guy

[fun-k-board]

okay! i read the rules and all!

can you write hcs of bayverse leo with a short and busty gf? i have back pain all the time 💔💔

Leonardo X Fem! Reader who's short and busty

Note(s) : I sort of focused on the short and busty part, so if you want more general Headcanons I can do that.

Leonardo doesn't mind your height, he's a giant mutant turtle, he's never exactly been one to care for appearances. He knows what it's like to be judged and excluded, so even if he makes a small joke once or twice, it's never out of malice and always something you can laugh to.

Speaking of, his jokes are those sneaky ones, ones you maybe can't even tell are there until hours after the conversation. They're not so much jokes as they are funny jabs? It's strange.

Okay, so, he strikes me as the type of guy who wouldn't really look at all, he's respectful, looking away respectfully if you will, and doesn't mention your bust unless it's a conversation revolving around it.

The bare minimum, yet still, he exceeds most men.

At first when he realises you're in pain, he thinks that you must've injured yourself somehow. Maybe you lifted something too heavy, maybe you fell down the stairs.

He can't exactly figure out if you have back pain from your chest, not until you tell him directly, he's not an idiot by any means, he just doesn't really connect 'big boob = pain'

I can imagine he's one of those guys who just doesn't understand that boobs have weight to them, yes they exist I have met them, but it's less because he refused to learn and more so because... He's a mutant turtle with a mutant rat dad who's been forced to live in the sewers with three brothers, he isn't too knowledgeable on human female anatomy.

When you tell him, probably after he questions you because he's concerned. He offers a cuddle, maybe some soup and tea if April isn't busy and she can buy them for you, he doesn't know how else to help besides resting?

He probably tries to learn how to massage, which is difficult for him because, you know, only three fingers, and researches how to help back pain, both in general and in reference to a larger bust.

Leo probably wouldn't mind if you don't wear a bra around the sewer, they can get uncomfortable especially if they have wiring in them, and he thinks it's best to prioritise comfort for one's self than tip toe around what others could think.

His brothers, especially Mikey, joke all the time about the fact he managed to get you, not in a weird way, they're not jealous at all and view you as a friend, but they just find it funny because Leo is the last guy besides Donnie they expected to get a girlfriend, let alone one as nice as you.

Leo always forgets that you're together, because how could you choose him? Out of all of the guys you could fall in love with, it just so happened to be him, it confuses him, because you could've had someone normal.

Leonardo really wants to get Splinters approval, which isn't too hard because Splinter thinks you're a great girlfriend, you basically complete Leo and make it happy, it's hard to disagree against that.

You know how in schools or work places, the dress codes usually target female presenting people? Yeah, he's the boyfriend that lets you rant to him about how awful it is, and he's also the type of boyfriend to nod along and occasionally go 'That's horrible 😡'

If you ever get catcalled expect the rare moment of Leo using his mutant looks to scare people, he's basically scary boyfriend privileges, the second he steps out of the light people are screaming in fear.

He probably feels bad about it afterwards, not because he feels sympathy for the people he scared, but because he feels like a monster.

[fromchaostocosmos]

I want to add something here. Remember when the Harry Potter video game came out. The one with pretty blatant blood libel. The one that lots of small little coded things in it as well that were antisemitic you know like the hard to spot, but you still you could spot them Star of David buttons on the evil wizard.

Remember that one well I also remember how hard Jews as collective fought to get to the Blood Libel taken seriously and very quickly the narrative was shifted from this game is rooted in Blood Libel to one about Transphobia.

Let me clear this is not me trying to attack trans people or the trans community. JKR is deeply transphobic and is a TERF and the lead head person on the game also was deeply transphobic and had ties to neo-nazis.

It is important that when talking about JKR to not ignore that harm and damage she has to not just to trans people and their communities, but also for trans rights. The amount of time, money, and effort she has spent and still spends in undermining trans rights is something that should always be spotlighted when talking about JKR.

My point is rather that when it came to this game even when very little information was out and it was just the the plot Jewish people immediately where both horrified and terrified that this massive game by a major company was going to be putting Blood Libel into the hands of millions and millions of people.

We got told this is just the initial information more will come out you are most likely misunderstanding it, but that was not the case. And the more that came out the more horrifying it was.

And it took a lot of time and effort from the Jewish community to get people to believe us and to understand and to grasp the horror of what this was.

And for sometime people cared which was great. And as more was learned about behind the scenes in regards to the creation of the game and things like that the more disturbing it was.

And I will say that on tumblr there was in my experience a very wonderful support and sense of camaraderie between the trans community and the Jewish one.

As time went on the and even as the event itself was happening I have seen it only ever be this game and the problem with discussed in regards to transphobia and JKR's transphobia. Not a word about the antisemitism.

That is a problem. That is a huge problem. This is something I have seen done both cis and trans people.

I want to be clear I take no issue with discussing the game and transphobia I think that is important. I don't blame the trans community in anyway for the fact transphobia has become the only thing I ever see this game discussed in context of.

No this is simply a matter of people not seeing their own antisemitism withing themselves, not understanding that this bias is one they have to unpack. Like I said cis and trans people have done this both in regards to the game. So it is not that part of their identity that they have in common, the part that those who do this do have in common is that they aren't Jewish.

It is easy for them to forget about the Blood Libel part. To not see or understand why having Blood Libel in a video game is horrifying. Why have your fantasy Jews commit Blood Libel and the narrative confirm that yes these sneaky evil monster are indeed sneaky evil monster who will steal your children for evil sneaky things is a terrifying thing for Jews and trauma that it brings back to the surface, the communal nightmares it fuels.

It is very easy to brush that all aside when you can move past it and move on. We can't.

There are things that become ingrained when you Jewish, things that we pass down from generation to generation. How to survive. How to get out.

We tell each generation when you can buy things that are made of gold or silver, better gold but silver if you can. Doesn't matter if its forks, a plate, a cup whatever. Because when you have to flee you can't go to bank and anything will have confiscated from you. Cash also will probably be worthless.

You will use those cups, forks, plates, whatever for bribes. Always keep your passport updated. If you can't wear it, it is not coming with you. You get one sentimental item to take with you and you better know where it is at all times and you keep that in the house. Important documents you keep in the house in a fire and water proof lock box.

When you can keep cash hidden in the house. Buy art and other things that have value because if you need to you can sell it or use it for bribes.

We teach this to each other and each generation. We trade tips and tricks for survival. We make games out of it for children and when they get older it is no longer a game anymore.

If you are not Jewish you might think this must be because of the Holocaust. Allow me to disabuse of that notion right now.

This is goes further back then the Holocaust. This is what learnt from Blood Libel, from each expulsion, from every Crusade, from each Inquisition the Spanish wasn't the only one, every pogrom, every ethnic cleansings, every genocide including the Holocaust.

And I know the stereotypes about Jews and money, but no matter how poor we still hide something away and not touch it because that is the bribery money or the ring that you will sell when the time comes etc. You don't talk about it, but pretty much every family has got something hidden somewhere not matter how small.

Jews we do not forget why is that. Because you forget too easily.

And because you forget so easily we never get a chance to heal because when we start to heal you come to remind us and open our fresh scars and give all new wounds.

Antisemitism is cyclical yes and that is because you refuse to break the cycle. You meter out the abuse and then blame us for being your victims.

So absolve yourselves of responsibility. If Jews deserved it then you did no wrong and if you no wrong then you are not a bad person and thus you guilt free and the hard work of change and growth is not your problem.

Absolution. Redemption. Salvation. All is well.

Bliss. You can forget.

But we don't. We carry it and we survive and we teach the next generation how to survive even better.

And so the cycle continues.

Some Excerpts As I Read

Reader Note: I have read The Color Purple and would never dismiss the importance of Alice Walker’s work. However, let’s not pretend that she’s too sacred to critique and treat like any other artist who does something racist. Her work to combat anti-black racism and highlight Black American struggles do not permit or excuse when she engages in other forms of bigotry.

I have never seen someone make a public stink about the extraordinarily racist poem, of which the section quoted above is only the tip of that particular racist iceberg.

In fact, I did not even know that Walker had written this horrible “poem” (if you can call an antisemitic diatribe with weird spacing a poem) —despite being very active in leftist spaces for my whole adult AND adolescent life and being an avid reader or both novels and poetry until 2023.

It was brought to my attention when she caught flak for being a TERF, as an incidental aside to prove that she was actually bigoted in several ways. A trait she ALSO shares with JK Rowling.

Look at these headlines. This is what comes up when I search “Alice walker transphobia.” They clearly label her as a TERF. But they do not make the same claim about her identity as BEING an antisemite. It is removed from her. Antisemitism is clearly not the focus here, which is fine. It is older news. These stories are reporting on her more recent bigotry. Cool.

These are the first results that come up when I search “alice walker antisemitism.”

The first result is from The Times of Israel, which makes sense, because that’s a place where a lot of Jews live and a lot of Jews will be upset by the things she wrote. But it also doesn’t make sense, because Walker is American. Why is the FIRST result about her antisemitism from an international newspaper that happens to have a large Jewish readership?

Why is the NYT headline about how Walker feels about her own bigotry, instead of how her Jewish readers feel?

The New York Magazine Article looked interesting so I clicked it. It was interesting. You should read it. It is an Op-Ed written by a Black, Jewish woman named Nylah Burton. Kudos to her. It was important. And non-Jews need to read it. It was written in 2018.

The Atlantic is next and primarily takes on the work of critiquing a different article in the New Yorker which also minimized the importance and harmful impact of antisemitism.

And then things get interesting. Still, on the first page of results, is this juxtaposition.

Among the many striking things here is the fact that the Jerusalem Post is writing from 2023. Al Jazeera is writing from 2019.

If you’ve read any of the above links or text you will note that yes, Alice Walker’s “offense” is indeed antisemitism. It’s not really debatable. She’s done many, many horrifically antisemitic things.

And yet, Al Jazeera jumps in, unprompted, to defend a known antisemite? Why?????? Oh, because she supports Palestine.

Well…perhaps…just maybe…supporters of Palestine shouldn’t want to leap to the defense of antisemites who spout blatant misinformation about the I/P conflict, demonize the Jews they know personally, and trade in antisemitic conspiracy theories.

Unless of course…they don’t care that they are pushing pro-Palestine Jews out of leftist spaces in the first place.

When did it become acceptable for leftists to excuse someone’s bigotry as long as the bigot agrees with you on other stuff?

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Dark Shenanigans - Nandor x (f)reader

Summary: It’s Nadja’s something hundredth birthday, with that said, you’re on a mission to make it great.

Warning: fluff, general vampire nonsense

Masterlist

“Yeah being a half vampire half human does have its perks. I mean for one I can do all that cool vampire shit and I can go out in the sunlight...so that helps for when they’re all being really annoying.” You admit with a casual shrug to one of the documentary cameras before turning to an isle of party supplies. “So anyways we’re at this store.”

The camera shifts to the multiple arras of supplies and materials at the local supermarket in Staten Island that you and your vampire lover’s human familiar, Guillermo, currently are. Specifically on the hunt for birthday decorations for Nadja and ghost Nadja who’s possessed a strange looking doll for the time being.

Since the other four actual full vampires can’t shop for themselves at this time of day or really in general, you and Guillermo have been given such an honorable task in making Nadja’s birthday the best one yet. Considering she’s the most well balanced in the head out of the four of them and is the only other lady of the manor.

“Hey Y/N, how’s this look?” Wonders Guillermo as he holds up a bunch of Mardi Gras beads of yellows, purples, and greens. “Comments, questions, concerns?” He adds with a small smile.

Eyeing up the beads, your head shifts over to the other various colors, “Hrmm, G I’m feeling the vibe you’re going for this year and I like it, but let’s go with Nadja colors.”

Guillermo’s dark eyes light up at your positive suggestion, “Right! So the red and black ones then?”

“Yup. She’ll love that shit.” You state with a satisfied nod of approval, “Let’s get some black and gold confetti from over there and oh, those masquerade masks look cool as fuck.”

You pick up and test out various masks in the background as Guillermo adds some bits of dialogue for the documentary crew, “Um yeah she’s really cool isn’t she.” He says with a smile while glancing at you then back to the camera, “Which is kind of odd since Y/N’s been with Nandor since 1793 so you’d think she’d be a little more like them but no, she’s super chill and really nice.” Suddenly his face goes a bit serious as he leans in to whisper, “But she did kill a whole street gang once when they threw a slur at me so I wouldn’t mess with her. For your safety.”

The camera pans back over to an oblivious you who’s put on a masquerade mask and is swinging a plastic light saber around with a whole lot more accuracy and grace then would a normal person. The camera then pans back to Gullimero, “Um, I’m just gonna....make sure she doesn’t smack anyone.”

——

Arms full of groceries of food for you and Gullimero, as well as random party decorations for Nadja’s birthday tomorrow night, you use the bottom of your boot to skillfully open the door as the documentary crew and Guillermo follows suit. Guillermo now on the verge of falling over with the large heart shaped pillow in his arms that’s covering most of his body.

You don’t feel tired in the slightest due to your half vampiric abilities so this is nothing to you, “Alright.” You state, turning on your heel to face the crew and Guillermo, “They’re asleep so we gotta be extra sneaky now, I don’t want Nadja catching us with all this cool spooky birthday shit. Everyone to the attic!” You whisper yell before leading the charge to the attic.

They all follow as quietly and as quickly as they can and then soon enough in no time are you and Guillermo back outside in the sunny garden trying to figure out if you should blow up the giant sea monster pool floaty.

“I mean it would look cool as hell and no doubt out-do whatever the fuck boring thing Lazlo probably has planned.” You quip with a shrug while the two of you stare thoughtfully at the small gloomy dark pond. “He’s got no chance with us. I’ve won best decorator and card maker for two hundred years in a row.”

Guillermo side eyes you in honest amazement, “Wow that’s a lot of years. And cards.”

“I know. I was an artist in the 12th century but my no good terrible good for nothing piece of garbage trash sexist human husband, who I was forced to marry when I was only sixteen, took all the credit for my artwork in that era.” You confirm with a growl, “But it stings less because once I finally grew into my powers and strength at eighteen I simply made his untimely demise look like an accident.” You add with a smirk.

“Oh, wow.” Mutters the intrigued familiar.

“Precisely. The old fool was thrown off his horse because I told Philip, the horse, to throw him off. And he did. Which killed the idiot so I got the house and all of his money.”

“That’s......neat.” Mutters Guillermo as he shoots the camera crew from behind you and him a nervous look. “Uh the suns going down so I should probably help Nandor out of his coffin.”

Raising your head to the sky you immediately see how the sun has begun to paint the clouds in beautiful colors of oranges, reds, light pinks, and darkening purples. “Oh, how bout that. Yeah alright let’s get inside.” You nod to Guillermo before turning to walk towards the manor’s giant mahogany doors.

——

Turning the handle and walking a couple feet into the large main room that holds itself as a sort of crossroads for all the other various connecting hallways and staircases. You don’t make it even three more steps towards the left ascending staircase before you hear the highly recognizable voice of your one and only.

“Y/N! My lovely wife and favorite person still ever so lovely!” Announces Nandor loudly with a grand smile showing off his pearly white fangs, “How I have missed you and your morning kisses. Where have you been off to?” He wonders softly as you smile a big dumb love-struck grin right back up at him, you’d absolutely die to hear that accent one last time.

“I can’t tell you right now it’s a secret!” You whisper yell back, causing his thick dark brows to scrunch up in confusion.

“But I am your lovely strong puff dragon Y/N.” Whines Nandor adorably as you roll your eyes at the cameras before looking back up at him.

“Fine. Come here then.”

In an instant he’s at your side, excitedly awaiting what secretive news you will tell him, “Okay, so we know it’s Nadja’s birthday tomorrow right?”

“Yes. I remember because she hasn’t shut up about it.”

“Right. So me and Gullimero got some fun surprise birthday party decorations and they’re in the attic and we can’t tell Nadja.”

Nandor gives you a knowing look of affirmation as he leans in closer to you, his demeanor suddenly shifting into a more saddened one, “You went shopping without me?” He says quietly.

Leaning up to give him a quick peck on the cheek your hands instantly find his, “Just for a little while, but I still need to find more stuff so....you wanna come?”

Nandor’s big dark eyes light up with joy as you hand him a kind smile, “Yes! Let us go in search of unknown treasures for our lady friend Nadja so she will not be mad at us for terrible dull gifts of friendship.”

Laughing you give his hands a playful squeeze, “Come on I’ll race you to Party City!” You say before leading him past the camera crew and Guillermo who simply watches the two of you leave, glad to have an hour of peace.

“There’s a whole city for partying? Y/N why have we never been to this place?”

——

“Y/N there are no people partying here.” Whines your vampire lover in puzzlement as he follows you from the entrance to a side isle. “You said this was a city for partying.”

“That’s just the name of the store Nans.” You retort with a small chuckle as he looks from right to left at all the color coded party plates and napkins galore.

“Well the title is very misleading.”

“Agreed.”

Turning to the right you guide him towards the decretory pirate themed isle in search of something that will peak his interest. Also you wanted so badly to make it to this spot but Gullimero was a man on a mission so your intention was thwarted for when you had Nandor with you.

Speed walking down the pirate themed isle you quickly halt all movement as Nandor’s large body stops within less than an inch from your back. Smiling brightly you snatch the desired object in front of you and as swift as a cat turn to face him.

“Have you come for a dual my old enemy?” You speak slyly, eyes narrowed as you hold the foam sword right in front of his face. “I sense a nervousness about you. Tell me, are you ready to face your inevitable bloody end?”

Staring at the pointy foam, his dark puppy eyes shift over to you as an adorable fangy grin breaks out across his pale face, “Seems you have come prepared, oh radiant and alluring seductress. Well, so have I!” Shouts Nandor before grabbing two foam swords from off the rack and swinging them in both hands like a mad man.

Taking a cautious step back you hold your pathetic five dollar sword in both hands like a true warrior ready for battle, “Only one shall leave this place alive.” You affirm with a smirk, “And it’s not going to be you.”

“Arrrrrggg.” Bellows your lover as he charges you like the true conqueror that he once was. But all to soon do you swiftly duck under his arms and swat him over his stomach with a confident thwack sound.

He makes a puny little “oww” as you turn around to face him once again, “Y/N you hit me kind of hard.” He complains, looking rather defeated and genuinely hurt that you could have intentionally injured him on purpose.

Bringing the plastic weapon down to your side once again, your face suddenly softens as you walk over to him, “Come here you big baby.” You quip sincerely as he leans down so you can give his cheek a quick kiss.

Rising back to his full height, Nandor almost blushes as the corners of his eyes crinkle into a happy smile, “Actually it didn’t hurt at all I just wanted you to kiss me.” Reveals the vampire with a proud grin as you simply roll your eyes.

“Should have known.” You add before turning and snatching up four more plastic foam pirate swords for the others. “Alright let’s get outta here, follow me my love, to the checkout line we shall purchase our weapons of war and partying on the high seas.” You announce with gusto as Nandor stands proudly at your side, ready to follow you anywhere.

“Yes. To check out.”

——

Kicking open the unlocked door, Nandor bursts into the vampire residence with bags full of goodies for Nadja’s birthday party. You right behind him but less dramatically, “We’re back!” You shout to no one in particular as Colin Robinson suddenly appears from out of nowhere, looking ready to leave with his funny little hat and usual beige jacket.

“Oh hey guys,” He starts with a friendly nod, “I’m just heading out on the town tonight. I guess there’s a fair or something in the park and I wanted to test my skill at the ball toss. I’ve been reading up on the body mechanics and how the game is set up which seems pretty basic all in all. Also I really want to win a stuffed bear this time, it might add a little pizazz to my room. Welp see ya’round.” Adds Colin before walking past the two of you without another word and out into the night he goes with some of the camera crew following close behind.

Nandor turns to you with a look of annoyance, “Jeesh I thought he would never leave. Let’s go to your room I want to kiss you some more now.”

“Why my room?”

“Because since you are half vampire you get to sleep in a bed and because I am a full vampire I sleep in a coffin.” Inquires Nandor while looking at you with those big beautiful dark eyes of his, “And my coffin is too small for cuddles so your room will suffice.”

“Yeah that’s a fair point.” You shrug before following him to your room.

After many cuddles leading to other more rated R type activities that lasted until just about sunrise, you finally got some well needed rest while the sun shone high in the sky until she began her dramatic descend back into oblivion. Opening your eyes you slowly rise from out of your comfy bed, already missing the presence of your obsidian eyed lover.

He gets too nervous about your closed windows for fear that the sun might burn him which would be impossible because you black out the glass. But alas, he’s very cautious about these types of things and won’t risk it for anything, though he feels bad about leaving you in the morning, you understand.

Suddenly it dawns on you that today or perhaps tonight, is Nadja’s birthday and you completely forgot to set up any decorations. Shit, how stupid. Throwing the blankets off of you, your feet move quick as you speedily change yesterday’s outfit for something a bit nicer and more clean.

Racing out of your room and into the dimly lit manor hallway, you make a bee line for the attic but before you’re able to reach the steps, Guillermo runs into you, just about knocking you into a wall of various stolen ancient weapons. Sharp ones at that.

That was close.

“Y/N are you okay!” Worries the familiar as you quickly gather your bearings.

“Guillermo! The decorations! Nadja’s birthday!” You whisper yell as the human man simply smiles. “Why are you smiling, this situation does not call for smiles.”

“Don’t worry. While you were sleeping I set up all the decorations.” He replies with a shrug, “No problem.”

“What? But that must have taken you all day, you could have asked me for help. I would have come.” Your brows furrow as he shakes his head, though you still feel bad for not helping with anything.

“Well I did try, but um,” Gullimero awkwardly clears his throat, giving the camera a quick glance, “Nandor was with you and last time I asked for you while you and him where having alone time he threatened to carve out my eyeballs and force feed them to me.”

Pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance you take a deep breath, “Sounds like him. Very creative when he wants to be, alright, well....where’s everyone?”

“Oh, they’re not up yet. I was actually on my way to get you. I made blood popsicles and the pool floaty is all done and in the pond.” He says with a sense of pride for his decorating skills. “I think she’ll like what we’ve come up with this year.”

-

Standing in the living room with your three fellow immortals you search a dresser for her card, “Oh shit where’s my card? I could have sworn I had it yesterday on my dresser but I don’t remember seeing it there in the morning. Maybe it’s in this one?”

“Witches!” Hisses Nadja as you huff in frustration, where the hell did you put that damn card?

“Oh, Y/N my love,” Intervenes Nandor with a gentle tug of your sleeve, “I took it with me when I left your room before sunrise because I wanted to put my name on it too so she would know it’s from us.”

“What?” Replies Lazlo dramatically, “Now hold on just a damn minute, this card competition is individually scored so I won’t be having any of this nonsense. I worked really hard on mine this year.”

“Oh lick a donkey’s arse, look here,” You retort with, quickly holding up the card for Nadja, “there are two separate drawings on ours so either way if one of us wins she gets both our pictures. So you better hope your drawing doesn’t resemble a night clubs bathroom wall.”

“Yeah.” Mutters Nandor, who’s hiding behind you while resting both hands on either one of your shoulders as you glare at Lazlo.

“Fine.” Agrees Lazlo begrudgingly, “And mine will be amazing, this bitch of paper took me a whole six months to plan and produce. Can’t get quality this good anywhere else I guarantee it.” Adds Lazlo with a firm nod of self approval as you glance at the nearby camera.

“Right, okay everyone sit it’s time for presents. I want to know what you all got me.” Beams Nadja excitedly as she smiles a fangy grin in delight, plopping herself down in one of the arm chairs. Lazlo quickly finding the other one while you and Nandor seat yourself on the large couch. Colin and Guillermo finding somewhere to sit close by respectfully.

“Well, all I can say is hold onto your socks my dear cause this is going to blow you away.” Smirks Lazlo as he pulls a small box from out of his jacket pocket.

“If it’s a self made business card that says invitation to sexy town I will puke.” You deadpan while Nandor laughs from beside you, causing Lazlo to lose his smirk as Nadja hides her amusement the best she can manage.

“He he, sexy town, nice one Y/N.” Mutters Nandor with a proud grin as you raise a brow at Lazlo who’s giving you a hard glare.

“Oh, my dear pumpkin pie love, don’t listen to Y/N I will love anything you gift me.” Encourages Nadja with a bright welcoming smile, no doubt immediately boosting Lazlo’s once irked mood.

Rolling your eyes you shift a bit to find yourself leaning into Nandor’s body as Nadja opens up the rest of the vampire residents various gifts. A joyous fangy smile gracing her pale features every single time, revealing this birthday party was a thrilling success.

After much more fun that just about lasts throughout the whole night, and some rare but hilarious attempts at dancing between the five of you vampiric individuals. You’re feeling rather sleepy and you can tell Nandor is ready for a trip to dreamland as well.

Swaying to the lowly playing record instrumental, you hold Nandor tight while simultaneously enjoying the feeling of him so close, him doing just the same as he keeps you firmly pressed against his chest. His long dark hair tickles your face as he presses his head to your cheek, doing his absolute best to keep the flow without tripping up.

Sensing his growing fatigue, you gently squeeze his hand, “My love the sun will be up soon, let’s get you to bed, yes?”

A small lazy smile tugs at the corners of his lips while he looks down to meet your gaze, “But my dark angel I’m not tired. I want to dance with you a little longer.” He whines adorably before failing to conceal a big yawn.

Giggling, you lean back to slowly lead him towards the door, “That yawn says otherwise.”

“That wasn’t a yawn Y/N, I was just smiling really big.” He protests, though he still follows your lead to the door.

“I’ve never seen anyone smile like that.” You add with a raised brow.

“Well maybe that’s just how I smile.”

Letting out a breathy snort, you pull away from him to at last take his one hand, “Come. I can’t have a single ray of that dreaded sun to get a taste of your precious skin. Not on my watch.”

Glancing at the closed front door, Nandor squeezes your hand, “Well um, now since you’ve mentioned the sun...I think I’d like to go to my crypt now.” He says, the flash of worry crossing over his face for only a brief moment.

“You sure? I mean a sunrise is pretty beautiful if I’m being honest and I know you never get to see them...”

“Not funny Y/N. And not fair, you know I can’t because I am full vampire.”

“And you’re missing out.”

“And I’d like to stay alive Y/N.”

“Aren’t you dead?”

“Yes and I am your only husband so I need to stay not burnt to a crisp.”

Chuckling, you follow him down the hallway, “Oh really? Don’t want me finding myself with another vampiric lover? Some new beast to sweep me off my feet and take me away into the night.” You tease.

Side eyeing you, he frowns, “No. Don’t I sweep you off your feet?”

Stepping into his crypt you stop him with your hand against his bicep, “Always.” You whisper sincerely with a quick wink, causing him to break out into a big fangy grin.

“Good. And if anyone would try and whoo you I would make sure there would be no more whooing again!” Exclaims Nandor, making the candles rise in flame for only a short second at his rise in emotion for how much he loves you.

“I don’t doubt they would fall by your blade. Not for a second.”

[hongjoongtrasher]

Goodbye baby goodbye

Genre: Angst (because we all like to hurt ourself), smut, fluff

Pairing: office worker!seonghwa x female reader, ceo!hongjoong x female reader, established relationship, lovers to ennemies.

Other: little brother!jongho, best friend!yunho, colleague!yeosang, roommate!san, office worker!mingi, manager!wooyoung.

Warning: cheating, betrayal, manipulations, protected sex (be safe kiddos).

Notes: Purely for entertainment and this is the first time I’m writing about ATEEZ, please have some mercy on me xD. No idea about the words count. Triggering themes will be add along chapters.

Summary: It all began when your now 4 year-old boyfriend Seonghwa had an invitation to his entreprise’s party. Surprised to hear you could tag along, you met Kim Hongjoong, the CEO and close friend of Seonghwa. Rumored to be a playboy, the rich boss of your boyfriend is determined to add you to his conquests.

Masterlist

« My boss told me you were also invited » claimed your boyfriend while picking a piece of cake with his fork. 

This made you drop yours as your eyes widened from the surprise. Park Seonghwa has been your boyfriend for four years now, and he was working at a powerful enterprise, headed by a young CEO. It was hard to say you knew this enigmatic CEO since you never met him, but Seonghwa was close to him, that’s all what you knew. 

« Me ? » you asked, unsure about the matter. 

Your boyfriend nodded, confirming his previous statement. Every year, KQ Enterprise was holding a party with their employees to congratulate them whom worked hard and contributed to make it a great place to work. You were definitely proud of your boyfriend’s hard work since he was respected and loved by his colleagues, which brought him to be a manager of a whole department there. 

« Yeah. We can bring one person, so…I thought my girlfriend would have liked to tag along. » he chuckled lightly, taking your hand in his on the table. « Y/N, you’ve been by my side for a while, and you know better than anyone how much I worked hard there. That’s why I want you to come. » he explained, making you nod softly.

That’s how you were invited to the reception. Unlike your boyfriend, you weren’t working in a famous enterprise. You were still studying at university and also working part-time at a local restaurant, that’s why you couldn’t do much for him except listening to his complains when he had some, or just being a supportive girlfriend. You two met at your last year of high school. Seonghwa was quite popular back then, but you never really grew interested in him until he helped you one day at the library. From the top of your toes, unable to reach the damn book you wanted, a large hand reached it to slowly takes the book out. It was probably cliché, but probably because you were yourself, he had begun to slowly reach out for you, being first a friend and after a boyfriend. 

« Are you sure though ? » you asked, lacking of confidence about it. « I’ve never attended such an event before- what if I do something wrong ? »

« Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Because you’re my girlfriend » he reassured you before taking your hand to his lips. 

« If you say so… » you answered back with a sweet smile. 

This day, you were enjoying a date at a coffee shop. You were glad Seonghwa’s taking time for you both, making sure to go out or just even spending time together. But this time would be different. It was a matter of work for him and you were just required to stay with him. But somehow, you were worried. Not worried about him, but about you. As you said, you feared that something would happen because of you. 

Suddenly, your phone rang. You looked at it as the name « Lil’ bro » appeared on your screen. You mumbled a « sorry » and stood up while taking the call. 

« Hey Jongho, what’s up ? » you exclaimed, going away not to bother anyone around here.

« Hey noona, are you in town ? » answered the other male. 

Jongho was your little brother. Literally your blood brother. Somehow, he was the youngest from the family, but surely the manliest, wisest and sweetest boy you knew. He was doing his military service at the moment but took time to call you wherever he could which made you thankful toward the youngest. 

« Yeah, I’m on a date with Seonghwa at the moment. But it’s alright. What’s up ? » you answered with a cheerful tone. 

« Oh, sorry I didn’t know…but I’m going to be discharged soon you know ? » 

« Of course, how can I forget it ? » 

« As expected » he chuckled for a moment before pausing some seconds. « I…was wondering if you could help me ? Cause I’ve found a job right after, but I don’t want to bother mom and dad so, if I could …like live with you for a while… »

« Mhhh, well it’s not that I don’t want to, but I gotta ask San, since I’m not living alone. »

You weren’t living all by yourself. Living with your parents wasn’t convenient for your studies as they were living quite far from the university, so you searched for an apartment to rent but the prices were incredibly high. And then you found San, another student. He was also in need for a place to stay since he couldn’t rent a whole place for himself. At first, you weren’t sure about living with a boy, but your roommate reassured you by saying « Don’t worry, nothing will happen between us if it’s what scaring you. I like boys you see ? » Such an extravagant guy, but yet so loving and sweet. That’s how you began to live with San. And until now, every thing was alright. 

« Sure, let me know about it okay ? » 

« Yes sir ! I’m sure you’re killing it out there, but don’t overdo it alright ? »

« Well, I’m not the baddest dude here, but I may be out of the top ten ? » he laughed, a bit shy to say it himself.

« Ooooh, as expected from my little brother. » 

« I will call mom and dad, so I gotta go. Love you noona. »

« Love you too. »

The « beep beep » at the other line indicated the call ended. And it’s with some relief that you came back at your boyfriend. Jongho and Seonghwa knew each other, and your little brother liked him. So you didn’t hesitate to share some news from the youngest. 

« It was Jongho. »

« How is he doing ? » asked Seonghwa, with a genuine interest.

« Great ! Actually he’ll be soon discharged, and he asked me if he could temporary live with us as he found a job after his mandatory service. »

« Already ? Wow, he doesn’t waste any time. » said Seonghwa with an impressed tone. 

« I know right ? But he’s always been this way, I’m glad he knows what he wants. »

You discussed a bit more about your brother and finished your cake and coffees. Hands in hands you headed outside, the sky becoming grey with menacing dark clouds. Rushing to the subway, you both got inside. 

« So I will pick you up Friday night. For the party. » he began, going back to the event.

« Alright…Wait, is there any dress code ? » you asked suddenly panicking because your student ass was probably not the best in clothing category. 

« Erm I’m not sure ? So far I never really paid attention to this since I’m always in suit. »

You sighed and prayed God to have mercy on you. You were practically sure of yourself: you hadn’t anything which would made you elegant in your wardrobe at the moment. 

« Y/N, don’t panic. I will find a solution okay ? » he said while taking your shoulders to make you face him.

You looked into Seonghwa’s eyes and nodded, slightly defeated by this idea of letting your boyfriend help you for an outfit. 

In front of your building, your boyfriend pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead and smiled at you.

« I’ll text you later. »

« Thanks for today Seonghwa. »

« My pleasure » he smiled more before leaning to finally kiss your lips, which made you answer to the kiss. 

As you walked into your shared apartment, you could hear San’s laugh emanating from the living room.

« I’m home ! » you said carefully, taking your shoes off.

« Welcome back Y/N » San’s voice answered, discovering the pink haired boy playing his console with snacks around him. 

« You haven’t moved since I left ? » you asked in an astonishment. 

San paused his game and turned around to give you a sneaky smirk. 

« I did, I went to the toilet, I went to the kitchen to- »

« That’s not what I meant » you paused him with an amused voice.

« Come on’ Y/N, I studied like a monster these days ! I had to play to relax. »

« Yeah yeah, be careful not to play too much »

« Yes mom…But anyway, how as your date with your charming prince ? » 

You sat down on the couch with your roommate, watching him play while you talked about the famous party Seonghwa asked you to attend. As you were telling him about the thing, his eyes widened and he paused his game again. 

« Wait, you’re talking about KQ Enterprise’s party ? »

« Yeah…How do you know ? » you arched a brow.

« My boyfriend works there too and he told me about it, but I refused to go. » he answered as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

« Wait a minute ! I thought your boyfriend was working in a bar ? »

« Y/N, it was the previous one. »

You rolled your eyes to the ceiling. You gave up about San’s love life as he was changing often.

« Okay, but since when have you been dating this guy huh ? And why you didn’t tell me ? You know Seonghwa’s working there as well »

« I forgot ! Anyway, he asked me to come too but nope, not my thing. »

« Please San, go with him ! I don’t want to go alone ! » you begged your friend.

« You won’t be alone, there’s charming prince with you »

« It’s different ! » you claimed « He’s working there ! I will feel like a stranger there, and gosh, imagine if I do something wrong ? Ugh »

« Alright alright, I will talk about it with Wooyoung » he sighed, defeated. 

« I love you San ! » you laughed, feeling victorious. « And, the name’s Wooyoung ? »

« Yeah, he’s the manager of I don’t remember which team »

The world was so small you thought for a while before you thought of Jongho.

« By the way, my brother will soon be discharged and he asked me if he could live with us for a while before taking his own place ? »

« Your brother ? Jongho ? Ooh he’s going to be soon discharged already ? Of course he can, I don’t mind. »

« Nice, I’ll let him know »

You were really glad you were going along with San and so he was with your own acquaintances. You thanked him again and went to your room. Some days passed by, and Seonghwa texted you but never talked about the famous party which made you frustrated because you were literally searching for something elegant but not expensive, which was impossible. Until one day when you came back home after your classes. 

« Y/N ! You received a package » said San while passing by to his room.

« Me ? But I haven’t ordered any thing ? » you mumbled, intrigued.

San shrugged and joined you to the living room where the so called package was here on the table.

It was quite big, nicely wrapped in a white paper and black silk ribbon. 

« Open it » suggested San, curious. 

« Hey, wait, don’t you think it’s weird ? Are you sure it was for me ? »

« Are you Y/F/N ? » asked San, ironically. « Cause that’s what the delivery man asked, so I said you lived here and he left after shoving me the package. »

After a moment of hesitation, you unwrapped the package to discover a black box. You opened it to discover a pink beige dress and honestly it looked so expensive that your poor salary of part timer couldn’t even pay a quarter of it. San’s eyes widened so as yours. 

« Wait- Who is it from ?! » a bit panicking on the spot.

« I don’t know ! The guy hasn’t told me ! »

You picked up the dress to look at it closer, and gasped when you saw the brand inside.

« San- I think I’m going to faint…Yves Saint-Laurent. Can you see ?! »

« Y/N, I don’t wanna make you panic more, but look there is a card inside. »

He pointed a silky white enveloppe you took quickly to open it. 

« Dear Y/N,

I heard you were worried about the dress code of the party. Here’s a present for you. In hope to see you soon. 

CEO Kim Hongjoong. »

There was a big silence in this room, your roommate and yourself looking at each other in disbelief before San opened his mouth and closed it, probably too shocked to say something. And so you were. Why did your boyfriend’s boss sent you this dress ? And how did he know ?!

[sweetchup]

Family

Type: Chrollo x reader

Au?: Family Au? Ish? But still takes place in normal HxH

Word count: 3000+

Warnings: Mature content, Abandonment, Disownment, Non-Con, Smut, Voyerism, little bondage, breeding kink (if you squint), no protection and Yandere

This isn’t how you imagined the day before your 22nd birthday to go. Yet here you were, sitting in your small two bedroom apartment with your two sons, well adoptive sons, who were playing on the floor quietly. The quietness is almost peaceful and comfy, even with the cramped space the cheap place provided. But you couldn’t just ignore the elephant in the room.

Legs spread and body leaned back into the Sofa. You would’ve thought Chrollo Lucilfer lived here based on how calmed he was. His eyes weren’t trained on one of his favorite books either, instead they were watching, observing, the boys on the ground, his sons, his itsy bitsy spiders.

You couldn’t deny it either. As you look at them, the resemblance was uncanny. The twins were basically almost identical copies of the young man. Except for a few minor differences.

Rubbing your temple, you close your eyes. How did you get into the mess exactly? Oh yeah the day after the twins were born.

———————

Fingers cold, clothes wet and throat hoarse, you stood out in your driveway in the rain. This wasn’t how you pictured your first couple of days out of high school to go. Your face and body stained with the cries from the sky, it was raining so much tonight that it was even hard to see what was even in front of you.

“You can’t do that to them! It’s wrong Melissa! Mom, come on we need to stop her!” You shout, not letting go onto your sister's arm.

“(Y/n) stop. You need to let it go” Your father orders from the door of your house, your mother in his arms distraught. Her body visibly shaking at the event turning out in front of her.

“Let it go. Let it go?!? You are seriously going to allow her to sell her newborn children, your grandchildren to meteor city? To that shitplace?”

Your older sister, Melissa, yanks her arm from your grasp. She glares at you backing away.

“It’s where they belong in the first place!”

Melissa gestures back at the old truck on the street. Next to the truck stood a man in a hazmat like suit holding the crying twins in his rubbery arms. You lost it and pulled Melissa by her shirt.

“Fucking excuse me?!?”

She shoves you away and into a puddle on the ground.

“You don’t understand (y/n)! They are monsters just like their father. We need—“

“Who says they are?! They literally got born yesterday.”

“(Y/n)—“

“No!! You are being selfish!! It wasn’t their fault you decided to go on a fun adventure and get knocked up by the leader of the phantom troupe! You—“

“(Y/n) that’s enough!” Your father yells, “the decision has been made.”

You ball your fist in the dirty water. It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair! They hadn’t done anything wrong. Melissa was being selfish.

She thought it was all fun and games being with the leader of the phantom troupe. Getting her bubblegum brains fucked out by Mr bad boy. Yet when it came to being responsible for what she had done and made, she couldn’t do it. She just didn’t want to go through the trouble.You know what. Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck everyone.

Cursing under your breath, you stand up and dig into your pocket. Pulling out a wad of cash you chuck half to your sister and walk over to the man who has the twins.

Without a word you hold out the money as he looks at you. He looks at his partner next to him who grabs the cash. The man counts the money and nods. You quickly grab the wet and crying twins into your arms, backing away from the men.

Sadly you look down at the pair as the wiggle in your arms from the rain. You need to get them to warmth quickly before they get sick. Taking a look at your house, you walk inside.

“(Y/n)! (Y/n) (L/n)!! What in the world are you doing?!” Your mother shouts and follows after you.

———————

Now here you were, 4 years later, in this apartment. You had just finished High School when the babies were born, kicked out when you took the twins in and have been on your own since then.

Well until now, of course. You had come home from taking the kids out on a small toy shopping trip to see Chrollo sitting on your couch. It had seemed he had finally tracked you and the twins down, though you weren’t hiding from him anyways. You knew it would be futile to escape from an A-list bounty criminal like him, it would just waste money and time, and you were smarter than that.

“Mom!”

You look over at the eldest of the twins who had called your name. It wasn’t the best time to choose to talk but you can’t do much about it now.

“Hmm? What wrong August?” You say, getting off the couch and sitting on the ground next to the boy. The boy looks at chrollo suspiciously before looking at you

”Can I have shiny?” He whispers, like it’s a secret.

“Shiny?” You parrot back, “Oh! You mean my Keys?” August hushes you like he doesn’t want Chrollo to know.

Reaching into your back pocket you grab the keys. You palm them in your hand before letting them dangle out in front of the young boy; jingling as they drop.

“You want to play with my keys August?”

August’s eyes sparkle and he claps his hands with glee as you hand them to him.

“Thanks mom!” He shouts walking over to the rest of his toys.

You smile as you look at the young boy. August was the eldest of the twins, and even though he was still so young he was very mischievous. In a simple sense three ways to describe him were he was playful, a little sneaky and truly a little thief, especially when it came to the many shiny objects around the house. He loved to take them and hide them in his many secret places so he could keep them all to himself.

Your keys were one of his favorites. His all time favorite even. You didn’t know why and neither did he. All you could guess was it was due to you allowing him to play with it ever since he was a little baby.

“Hmm? Kao? What’s wrong?” You ask, looking at the small boy peering from under the coffee table. Kao’s silver eyes just stare at you and he only responds by blinking once.

Kao was the opposite of August, sure he was mischievous at times as well, those two could be quite a handful, but he was very quiet and liked to keep to himself compared to his brother. Due to him liking to be quiet he had created a bit of a habit of doing this Morse code type of thing with his eyes. One blink means no, two blinks means yes and many blinks means I don’t know. Then there were also the many expressions with his eyes that he would be added to those blinks. Like an angry gleam in his eyes with a yes blink could translate to “Ugh fine” while a glossy sad eye with a I don’t know blink could translate to “mommy. I don’t know.” Or “Hold me.”

Right now Kao only blinked once and he has blank eyes so he said “nothing’s wrong”.

“Oh ok Kao. Is there anything I can get you?”

Kao opens up his arms and blinks twice for yes.

With a small whisper he says “cuddle.”

He was so cute sometimes. You coo at the young boy, pulling him gentle from under the table. As soon as Kao is in your lap, he rubs up into your soft sweater. After a couple more rubs and moving around he lets out a soft sigh, deeming he was comfortable and happy.

“Hey! Let me join!! I wanna cuddle mom!” August yells and sprints from his pile of things. With his running start he jumps, more like cannonball, into your lap. You groan as August lands. Here we go again. Or maybe not?

You had expected Kao to huff and claw at August. He usually does it when he believes his older brother is being a nuisance or being too rough with you. Yet you instead see that Kao is ignoring his brother and is having a staring contest with Chrollo.

Crap… you were so distracted by the kids that you forgot Chrollo was even in the room.

.

.

You kind of wondered how long this could go on. Chrollo seemed like a tough shell to crack.

.

“Cuddle” Kao requests suddenly. Startling everyone in the room.

Kao's request causes Chrollo to raise an eyebrow at the young boy. You however just sat there astonished. You couldn’t believe Kao had invited Chrollo for a hug. Kao hates strangers. It took the young boy over two months to allow any of the other children or staff at the daycare to even approach him.

You hear a creak from the coach and watch as Mr Edgelord himself, Chrollo, stands up and approaches your group. He was totally an Edgelord though with his long leather cross jacket, slick back hair and pale white skin. He looked like BotchedTopic hurled all over him. I mean that wasn’t bad he was clearly handsome, hell he was a 10 out of 10 in your book, but you just couldn’t wrap your head around how your blonde, fake and plastic like sister went and got knocked up by this guy.

Chrollo sits down on the floor next to you and goes to grab the boy from your lap but Kao only shuffles away. Chrollo pauses and looks amused at the young boy and tries again but the same thing happens. Chrollo looks at you to see if you know what’s going on.

With knitted eyebrows you look down at Kao. “Kao what’s wrong? Don’t you want to cuddle with dad?”

He blinks no but repeats “Cuddle”

You don’t understand. But August seemed to because he lights up like a Christmas tree.

“Yeah mom cuddle!”

You laugh, confused, and look at August. “August what are you and Kao talking about?”

“Mom!! It’s obvious! you have to cuddle with dad!!”

You blink a couple of times in shock before going beet red as Kao nods his head.

You sputter out incoherent words before taking a deep breath and in a soft voice say, “August, Chrollo and I aren’t together, together. We just can’t cuddle randomly.”

As you finish you see August’s face drop and Kao looking sad. Then for the first time in a while Kao actually says a full sentence.

“But...but the other mommys and daddys do it. The other kids tell us all the time.”

You are shocked silent. So that’s why. You hadn’t even thought of the fact that Kao and August are the only two at the daycare that don’t have a dad. You didn’t even think about what was being said by other kids or if they even noticed. Man this was a situation you had gotten yourself into.

Sighing you look up at chrollo. You don’t want to do it but you know it would make them happy. Pulling Kao and August off your lap you turn to chrollo.

Sheepishly you look at him in the eyes and, amused, he nods.

Holding onto his shoulder you sit lightly on his lap. You still wanted to keep distance between you two so you leaned a little bit above his chest and sat on his thigh instead. You thought it would be a good plan, though Chrollo had decided on other things. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you right against his chest and into his lap.

Your heart was practically hammering out of your chest and face was on fire. In a sad attempt to hide it from him you put your head on his shoulder, hiding your face using his fur collar.

August is heard giggling happily so you know your plan has worked and the two children are no longer sad. Listening, since you can’t hear them, you hear the two children move around and hear August whispering. You knit your eyebrows in confusion when you feel a large soft fabric put over the two of you.

“Thank you. That was kind of you two to give us a blanket” Chrollo says to the boys. His warm breath tingling against your skin.

As you sit there, stiffly, you hear the boys converse a little more, well mostly Chrollo and August. They just exchange a couple of questions to get to know each other before two pairs of footsteps are heard walking away and a door closes. Kao and August must have gone to their rooms to play.

Ever so silently, you pull yourself slightly off of Chrollo’s lap and look down the hallway to confirm that the two boys are gone. You sigh in relief when it was true but you are suddenly cut off.

You struggle as you are pounced upon and pinned down to the floor by Chrollo. With one hand holding your hands above your head and the other hand tying a cloth around your mouth, you were in a tough spot.

Your insults and cries are muffled against the fabric made gag. Chrollo hushes you as he bounds your hands above your head.

“Now, Now, (y/n), no need to cause a scene.” He says which only causes you to glare. He chuckles at your look, “Don’t worry I’ll make this quick for us.”

While you were taken aback by his comment, Chrollo grabs onto the waistline of your pants and panties and pulls them off in one quick swoop.

You weren’t going to allow him to use you this though. No way in hell. While he was unbuckling his pants you take your leg and kick him in the face as hard you can knocking him over.

Wiggling away, you pull your bounded hands to your face to take the gag off. Finally off you try to shout.

“Au—“

But you couldn’t even finish a word as Chrollo had pushed you face first into the floor and held you there. Wiggling around you can’t get the muscular man off of you. Cursing at yourself for being so stupid and naive to let this man into your house, you go to shout again.

“Ack—“ You are cut off again as chrollo shoves two of his fingers into your mouth. Your eyes water, you gag slightly at the foreign object in your mouth. You hear Chrollo chuckles above you. He brings his head to the crook of your neck and starts biting and sucking at any possible skin he can get at.

“Hmm… maybe I should’ve let you call out. I wonder what the boys would’ve said seeing you in this position.” He mumbles out against your neck.

You freeze in your tracks, balling your fist in absolute furry. How dare he. How absolutely dare Chrollo say that in a situation like this. Using them as some sort of hostage. Bargain.

But at the same time, you couldn’t do anything. You couldn’t, no you never want them to have to walk in to see this. The threat had work. You were trapped.

Chrollo takes his fingers out of your mouth and spreads your legs. You shiver as he runs his fingers up and down your slit; spreading the wetness he found there. He chuckles and pulls his fingers away wrapping them around his length instead. He gives himself a couple of testing pumps for good measure and aligns himself up. You take a deep breath as he starts to push his length in. Choking on your breath and gritting your teeth you try to keep yourself quiet to not show you were in pain. Finally bottoming out, Chrollo groans into your ear.

“I'm your first huh? I feel very honored.” It seemed your attempts at playing it cool hadn’t worked on him.

“Shut the fuck up you bastard” you curse lightly out at him. Though you regret saying that as Chrollo suddenly pulls his length all the way out before pounding back into you. You moan lightly out into the crook of your arm, from the pain and pleasure.

“I don’t think I heard what you said (y/n). Do you think you can repeat that?” He says calmly. You could practically hear the smirk on his face when he said that.

Not going to give up to him you try to answer back but are cut off as he starts off at a rough pace as if he was trying to pound you into the ground. The sounds of slapping and lewd noises fill the room as you try your best to keep quiet. It was pointless though because even with your mouth being blocked with your arm you were still loud.

“F-fuck-k Chrollo-o slower. Slower. You’r-re making too-ohh much noise.”

You hear chrollo humm above you in consideration. He pauses and flips you onto your back, entering you again. You think maybe he listened to you for once, but are proven wrong real quick when he sets a fast pace.

You reach up pushing against his chest trying to get him off, in a sorry attempt to get him off. Sure this made less slapping and lewd noises but with this position his length was just getting deeper, making it hard for you to be quiet.

“Mom?”

You freeze to the bone. You look to see that thankfully August wasn’t actually standing here and was still in his room. The only problem is that now you have to answer the boys while being pounded into by chrollo. And you damn well know he isn’t going to take a pause for you to do so.

“Y-yes August? What’s up?”

“Can we have pizza for dinner tonight?” He whines from his room, “I’m not in the mood for chicken.”

“Why-y of course. I’ll make it as soon as I can.”

“Actually, August we have other plans”

You looked shocked up at Chrollo. What in the world was he planning now? He puts one of his hands up to your face, slightly skimming your cheek. Your shiver at the touch and go to bite his hand but stop when he changes his pace. You mewl and pant as his now change of pace, with harsh and slower thrusts, bash constantly into your g-spot. Biting your lip, you shake your head at chrollo, asking for any mercy.

“Huh? But we want pizza.”

“Oh it’s not that it’s just.” Chrollo takes a minute to think, “It’s just I adore the way your mother takes care of you two. Calm, well-kept and so sweet. It causes my heart to ache just by watching you three.”

Chrollo pauses for a second. Letting out a soft groan as his thrust went frantic, he seemed to be close as well. You tried to hold on but you just couldn’t keep it in any longer. You felt the pit in your stomach finally burst causing a wave of pleasure to fill your veins.

Shaking in pleasure and dazed you feel chrollo let out a few more thrust before joining you as well. Letting out a low groan as he filled you up with his warm cum.

Letting out a couple of pants you both try to compose yourself. Now pulled out, chrollo zips himself up and wraps you in a blanket before hugging you into your chest. Absolutely exhausted and sore you don’t fight back.

“I still don’t understand dad.”

Crap you totally forgot about August. It also didn’t help that you couldn’t do much in the state, you probably couldn’t even walk correctly.

Chrollo laughs, “I see. Well I talked to your mother and we decided that you all, you, Kao and your mother, are going to stay with my friends and I. We are going to all travel together as one big group and we need to leave tonight to catch the quickest flight. So we are going to have dinner at the airport instead.”

You looked shocked at Chrollo. This man must be out of his mind. No way you would willingly allow you or the boys to go with him. Especially since his friends were probably the other troupe members.

You hear quick frantic footsteps and see August and Kao are sprinting from their room. Both are gleaming with happiness; even Kao had a small smile on his face.

“REALLY DAD?!? We are staying ALL together?!” August shouts out excited; doing a little spin at ‘all’.

“Why of course! That not all—“

“NOT ALL!!”

Chrollo hushes the boy and places a hand on your head. The sweet action causing a shivery go up your spine.

“Your mother has actually also agreed to being my wife and the mother of another of my children. A little sister or brother for you two.”

It’s silent in the room and you looked stunned at Chrollo. You felt sick to your stomach. This man WAS out of his mind. He was absolutely bonkers. Insane! A sociopath!

Suddenly, you are jumped upon twice. Blinking you looked stunned at your kids in your lap. Tears and snot rolling down both of their faces like waterfalls. You reach out to them, holding them tightly to you.

“K-Kao? August? Are you ok? What’s wrong?” August pulls away from your clutches, sniffling.

“M-m-mom,” August babbles out trying to rub the tears off his face, “I’m so-o-o happy! I’m SO happy”

“Wha—“

“Family-y” Kao mutters into your neck, “H-Happy family.”

You go to say something but are cut off as Chrollo pecks your lips. He looks at the boys and pets August’s head.

“Yes boys. We are one big happy….

family…”

[stilesxeveryone]

The Rewatch, pt2

Feel free to message me about any of my dot points! Ultimately this is just for me, so I can remember all my thoughts the next time I do a season or episode specific fics, but I greatly encourage discussion!! None of my friends watch teen wolf so I can’t discuss things with them :(

Season 1, episode 7

Stiles: I’m not scared of you!

Peter: and I took that personally

To be honest I don’t think I’d ever take a werewolf fight to my high school, like everything is gonna be locked and oh god there are so many stairs and nowhere to hide

I will still never understand why Scott threw Derek under the bus in this episode? Like I feel like saying Derek is the murderer that’s behind everything just raises way more questions than answers and would cause more problems than solutions

Stiles punching Jackson? Valid and wonderful

Okay I’m gonna be honest here, there was a big old chunk of this episode that was just dramatic tension and no dialogue so I did not follow a single part of that because I’m also drawing dinosaurs at the moment

Also I find it interesting that Peter (the big bad alpha) seems to want Scott to kill his friends and join him as pack member. Why does he decide that one pack member is better than turning the others and forcing them to join as well? Maybe he believes it will create stronger loyalty, but in my opinion I feel like numbers are more important at this point in time

Season 1, episode 8

Oh no I hate this episode

Scott and Lydia kissing is actually one of the worst things I’ve ever seen (and why I hate this episode), and wow asshole move from both of them

Watching this episode makes me feel less bad about the fic I half-finished where Scott major attacks Stiles on a full moon because uhhh, it’s kinda accurate to the asshole ways of early Scott

Werewolf - now with added visual hallucinations? (Also I still hate their beta shift faces so much, especially Derek’s)

Okay but yes to a canon divergence AU where Chris and Kate Argent think that Stiles is the second beta werewolf instead of Jackson

Season 1, episode 9

I really wish they put in like any effort at all to make the photos that Scott sends to Allison actual photos? Instead of just screenshots from previous episodes? Like where are my cute couples selfies or sneaky candid photos during study dates and shit

Jackson dos a really good job at being absolutely creepy, like I hate it but also good shit

Stiles, at literally every interaction with Derek, saying he’s not afraid of him and being confident and then immediately being frightened by him (and the same happening with Peter in the high school) is character consistency and I appreciate that

I wish people wrote more Stiles and Danny friendships tbh (as well as relationships to be fair), I just really enjoy all their scenes together

“You must be Stiles” yes bitch!!! I always find it funny how fucking soft Peter says that line, like his voice is so gentle even though he’s meant to be the big bad wolf and all that

I’ve been meaning to say this since episode one but I love the music they use, as in the actual songs and such, but I literally hate the instrumental stuff they use. Very rarely does it build tension the right way and it almost never sounds nice

Season 1, episode 10

I still continue to not at all understand why Peter needs Scott

“You’re way too pretty to be out here all by yourself”

Okay but Allison/Lydia power couple (Lydia looks so good with red lipstick)

The whole scene of Stiles’ father being drunk and saying “I miss talking to you, and I miss your mum” is so soft and sad and personal and I love it

Oh my god I totally forgot about the part where Peter takes Scott’s mum on a date, that’s so weird

Also “you have incredible skin” is so serial killer-y, I can’t believe Melissa let him get away with that

Jackson really needs to listen to his gut more, like stop trusting the scary wolf men and go do some homework (also wow Derek really ripped into him about the fact that no one cares about him)

Season 1, episode 11

My god, Derek deserves to kill Kate. She’s so gross and he deserves a little revenge

Allison getting Lydia to go with Stiles to the dance! I forgot about that! As always, give me Allison/Stiles sibling/best friend relationship or give me death! Also Stiles/Lydia friendship is very good as well

Did Peter just say that Allison should go for a lighter dress? While she’s holding a black and white dress? Sir this makes no sense (also Allison looks great in dark outfits)

Also there’s no way teachers don’t immediately notice Jackson giving alcohol to some of the other kids, they’d be watching the drinks like hawks dude

Jackson goes through so much this season (and the next), it makes me feel so sorry for him

The CGI for Peter’s fangs extending is honestly so gross and I hate it

“Because you’re the clever one, aren’t you” if only more people understood this

Season 1, episode 12

Peter making a period joke is so,, absolutely unnecessary and weird and I hate it

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Allison’s mum is a snake and I hate her

Also Allison basically has to decide on whether her boyfriend is a monster or if her aunt (and family in general) are monsters and that is a tough decision, especially with how manipulative Kate is. I don’t remember what exactly she does in season 2 but idk how much I can blame her for it

Parking garage scene!! My favourite to read canon divergent scenes about

In defense of Scott, some of my passwords do in fact involve the name of my significant other, but in argument against Scott, I’m a little more creative than just his first name

I wish this show gave me the classic wolf howls instead of the weird, low, grumbly sound that makes no sense to me

I tried writing a parking garage AU once and it went horribly, but I think I’ll be coming back to it soon! Having some very fun ideas right now

Stiles and Chris scene! God bless Stiles just straight up not taking any of his shit and putting him in his place about the Hale fire

Also I don’t think it gets mentioned enough that Jackson witnesses this entire scene of Stiles standing up against the big bad hunter

I honestly really like that the code is “we hunt those who hunt us”, I think it’s valid and it’s more about self defense, even if Kate and the others don’t treat it like that

They really set Peter on fire again, huh, definitely not adding to his trauma and major pain or anything

Overall I do enjoy this season, I mean there’s a reason I continued watching it and am back here again for another rewatch. I think there are definitely some issues with the writing, of character morals and motivations not always aligning with their actions and that kind of thing. I really hope that as the show continues I see improvement in Tyler Posey’s acting, because until now I’ve never really paid too much attention to him honestly (which is a concern since he’s the main character).

I do really wish that they didn’t set Peter on fire, and I find it interesting that Stiles and Jackson were more involved with Peter’s death than Scott was. Although if Scott (or anyone other than Derek) killed Peter we would have avoided like all of season 2, but I do enjoy season 2.

I really enjoy seeing the characters interacting with each other honestly, especially Stiles interacting with any of the “bad guys” and the bad guys (Chris, Derek, Peter) and I really wish we got to see him talk with Kate, honestly.

[anonymous-jpeg]

*beep boop* *robotic voice* here you go

1

Pebbles skittered as I clung to the side of the building. “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind this evening,” I said, as I made my way around the large edifice. 

“Hey,” I asked Robin, “how many synonyms for ‘building’ can you think of?”

He blinked at me. “Why are you asking me this right now?”

I shrugged. “I dunno.”

He let out a long, exasperated sigh. “We are literally in the middle of a job, and you’re asking me about building synonyms?”

“Yes.”

“Well, then. Let me see...um…construction, edifice, hut, architecture, domicile, home, erection, framework, I guess.”

“Hmmm, most of those wouldn’t work for this exact building. I mean, nobody would really call a tavern a home, do you?”

He looked at me, and replied, “First of all, I know you are a good thief, but most don’t make chat during the job. That’s typically reserved for afterwards.”

“What can I say, I’m a special person.”

He sighed, and said, “You got that right. And most taverns don’t have 4 stories. Remind me, why is this one so tall?”

I shrugged, and told him, “I’m not sure, a lot of customers, I guess. It isn’t known as the best tavern for 500 kilometers for nothing. Most only get about 10 guests a night, this one gets almost 75.”

“We should really focus on the task we have on hand, don’t you think?”

I sighed, and said, “Fine. But how much farther do we have to go, anyway?” He reminded me that we had three more rooms to go by before we got to the correct one, and we continued on our way, slowly making progress, just two friends vibing on the wall of a dark tavern. As we were edging our way to our destination, I quietly said, “we need music. Where’s our bard?”

Robin quite exasperatedly replied, “Dude, we are literally thieves trying to be sneaky and quiet so that we aren’t caught. We definitely don’t need a bard right now.”

“But what if we get caught and we need to seduce the halfling?”

“We aren’t going to get caught. The only way we would get caught would be if we had a bard that would make so much noise that everyone in the tri-state area would awaken.”

“That’s fair enough. Well then, I shall hum under my breath.”

“Do not hum under your breath.”

“Fine.”

2

Each of the rooms had a small balcony, which made moving across them easier. The beginning was the hardest, because we didn’t start with a balcony, but once we got to the first, we could move across it and then jump to the next. We didn’t always make it all the way, but we were careful enough to jump close enough to the wall so that we could land on the small strip of extruded wall and not fall to our likely deaths. I tried multiple times to make small talk, but Robin was not in the mood. He apparently was ‘focused on the mission’ and ‘didn’t have time for my nuisances’. As we got closer, I got quieter, until we were on the correct balcony.

“Now remember,” Robin said seriously, staring me in the eyes, “This particular barbarian is very dangerous. You already know this, but I think I should refresh your memory, just in case you decide to do things because ‘you only live once’. He is one of those very special barbarians that we’ve been tracking, one that covers himself in those runes. They will amplify his strength, and go even crazier than normal.

“Under no circumstances are you to wake him up, do you understand me? He will rip us to shreds, and I’m too pretty to die. To be honest, I don’t think we should be doing this anyway. A little talisman isn’t worth this kind of risk.”

“It is when that ‘little talisman’ could turn him into a hulking rage monster, should he handle it improperly,” I rebuked.

“Oh, so we’re Good Samaritans now, making sure he doesn’t destroy stuff? Maybe we should go down and kill us some dark elves while we’re at it, or go after bandits for the lols.”

“Come on man, it’s not like that. I just don’t want to die because of him, and plus, that talisman can fetch a hefty price. We’re gonna need money if we’re going to succeed in nabbing that staff, didn’t we agree?”

“Yeah, speaking of which, didn’t I only agree to that one theft? The only reason I’m here is because, and I quote, ‘I’d make a mess of things if I went in by myself, and we really need the money it’ll fetch if we’re going to take that staff.’ You haven’t even told me why the staff is special. You’ve been really evasive about it.”

“I promise, it’s for a good reason. Now, let’s focus on what we’re doing here. We need to be careful, and we’re burning moonlight,” I told him. We carefully brushed aside the curtains so we could peer into the room, and saw that the barbarian was lying on his bed, half-naked, his runes glowing softly in the darkness. We started using a system of hand signals to communicate, similar to, but simpler than, the hand code of the drow. We walked softly into the room, my enchanted boots making not a sound, Robin’s normal ones making barely more. We crept through the room, being careful about potential dangers, but not too worried, as barbarians almost never set up defenses because of their overconfidence. I walked toward the closet, which was covered with a curtain, which I pulled back. There was nothing to note, other than a wicked club which was studded with sharp-looking metals. I left everything where it was, except for an orange I found in a bag. Robin clicked softly to get my attention, and then gestured toward the barbarians chest. The talisman lay there, shrouded by chest fur, and quite obviously unobtainable. To try would be to wake up the beast of a man, which was like inviting Death itself into your home.

“I’m going to snatch it and run,” I signalled, to which Robin replied, “NO. No you are not.”

“Get out of here,” I said while creeping toward him, “I know I can make it out, but only if you aren’t here. Go, and I’ll follow.”

He rolled his eyes, but went out onto the balcony and started climbing down. I plotted what I would do, which ended up being pretty simple. I’d yank it off his thick neck, then run and try to jump to the next building. I went to the balcony, and noted the distance to the shop next door, as well as the fact that Robin had made it down safely. I walked back to the sleeping form, and readied myself. Just reach down and take it. By the time he would awake and come after you, you’ll be on the next roof, making your grand escape, and he’ll never know it was you. Go on. Do it. I carefully reached through the hair, and wrapped my fist around the magical thing. I pulled it off his meaty neck and tried to run, but his fist was around my neck before I had taken a step. 

He growled at me, very angrily, as the runes started to glow brighter. He marched over to the balcony, and threw me as hard as he could, which was a bit of an inconvenience, but also helpful, because it meant I was no longer near him and his strong grasp. 

1

3

I hit the ground painfully, groaning. Why did being thrown have to hurt so much? I heard someone running toward me, but couldn’t muster the strength to look at them.

“This is bad, this is bad, this is bad, why did I agree to this, this stupid idiot probably got himself killed, and now I have no one to talk to,” I heard a familiar voice say. Robin knelt down next to me, and, with concern in his eyes, asked me, “hey, are you okay? You’re bleeding quite a lot.” I laughed, and replied, “Yeah, but you should see the other truck. He’s really quite strong, and I don’t think I used that idiom, or whatever, correctly. Anyway, I should probably see a doctor or something, because everything hurts. Also, what’s your last name? I feel like we should tell each other this, because we’re so close. Mine’s Naïlo.”

He looked at me, and said, “Yeah, this is bad. You only ramble this badly when you are trying to take my attention away from something else. In this case, I think you’re trying to keep me from noticing that your foot is backwards.”

I raised my head, and looked down at my body. “My foot is backwards? Huh. That’s why it hurts this much. I thought it was just my entire body. Yeah, we should get to a doctor.”

He grabbed under my arms, and tried to lift me. “OW! Ow, ow, ow. Yeah, that isn’t gonna work,” I said. “Maybe grab a stretcher, or bring a healing mage here?”

“Fine.” He left to do that, and I just laid there, looking up at the stars and wondering why I did things like this. Probably because I’m an idiot. It was actually kinda nice here, kinda calm, relaxing, other than the pool of blood that was getting larger around me and the utter pain my body was going through. Eventually, I fell unconscious.

*

When I came to, Robin was kneeling over me, as well as a second person that I could only assume was a mage, considering that my body no longer hurt as much. 

“Hey,” I said, “is it as bad as it felt?”

“Luckily, no,” he responded, staring at my abdomen instead of my face. The mage stood up, and held out his (to be honest, I have no idea their gender, I never found out, so I’m using male pronouns) hand, demanding payment. Robin handed over a couple gold coins, and the mage left. He helped me stand up, and though I wobbled for a few seconds, I quickly recovered.

“Well, that went well,” I told him, showing him the talisman I had stored in a secret pocket of my clothes. He laughed, and we started to walk back to the guild. “Hey, so what does it do, anyway?” he asked, as he stretched his body toward the sky.

“I have no clue, but I’m sure our client is a good person. She had a good demeanor, don’t you think?”

Robin sighed, and responded, “The only reason she gave us this job was because she had heard your reputation. She literally threatened to cave your skull in.”

I spread my hands, my hair turning pink. “She only said that because I pointed out she had a bird in her hair. What was I supposed to do, not stare at it?”

“She was a druid, obviously. Yes, they don’t typically threaten people, but it is possible she likes animals and hates the more sentient life.”

“Eh, whatever. It’s probably like a spirit gem or whatever druids like. Likely unimportant to us.”

*

We returned to the guild, slept through the rest of the night, and the next morning set out to find the druid. We found her at a tavern, one a few blocks away from the one we had visited that night. She was at a corner table, staring into her mead and probably thinking some nature-esque thoughts, I don’t know what druids think. When we got close, she quickly looked up at us, looking scared.

“Do you have it?” she asked hurriedly, grabbing at my arm.

“Chill, yes, I have it,” I replied, and took out the talisman. I hadn’t really taken a close look at it before, as I had been busy getting tossed around and/or knocked out. It had the imprint of a unicorn on it, and it seemed to be made of some kind of silver or other such material. She swiped it from my grasp, and just as I was moving toward her, indignant, she pushed a bag toward me. I opened it, saw that it had the correct amount of payment, and looked back up. She had disappeared, which wasn’t surprising, considering how paranoid she had acted, and so Robin took the bag and we left.

When we got back to the guild, we sorted out the reward. It was sizable, perhaps a little more than the amount of work we went to, or at least the amount of work Robin had gone to. 

“So, what happens now?” he asked me.

“Well, right now? I am going to go get a new blade,” I responded, “and then another job.”

“Why do you need a new blade? The one you have works fine,” he asked me. I tossed my current sword at him, and replied, “Yes, but I’ve had that one a while now and I’ve been looking at a magical one for a while now. Well, I’m off.”

As I left the guild, I passed Sylvan, a male elf who has constantly tried to one-up me, even though I couldn’t care less about him. I ignored him, even when he tossed his half-eaten sandwich at me. He’s a real jerk, and is probably just intimidated by me. At least, that’s what I’ll keep telling myself until I finally decide to do something.

I found myself at Durtor’s blacksmith shop, which looked the same as pretty much any other blacksmith’s, except with a bit more magic, as Durtor’s specialty was enchanting. He greeted me, and I replied in kind. He asked me, “What do you want, Alushtas? That blade I gave you was supposed to last at least a decade, and it’s barely been two years.”

“That is true, and it was a good blade, but I desire something else. It is fairly special, and will most certainly be expensive, but I’m sure I can pay.”

“Ah? So what’ll it be?”

“I’m not sure exactly what it is called, but I want a sword that can shift dimensions according to my will, such that it will disappear and reappear when I want, if that makes sense.”

“Hmm… I think I know what you are talking about, and you are correct in that it will be expensive. I can make such a blade in about a week, or, if you would rather enchant an existing sword, it would probably take about 2 days to properly set. Which will it be?”

“I want a new blade. You know that the newer a weapon is, the better the enchantment will be. Also, I know you are always working on improving yourself, and I am confident a new sword will be well worth the price.”

Durtor nodded, and turned away. “I’d better get started,” he said, as he moved through his workspace. “But there are a few things I need to know.”

I gave him the necessary information. I wanted, actually, two blades, a shortsword and a longsword, which would “take a bit longer, probably closer to two weeks. This is the stuff you need to tell me at the beginning, okay?” They were to be made out of mithril, a rare ore that “really drives up the price, are you sure? Other metals are pretty good too. Really? Okay, okay, fine.” A few other details were necessary, but not really important for just anyone to know.

Over the next two weeks, I did a few more jobs, but nothing very exciting. I was really just filling the time until I could have my new blades, which I had decided to call my ‘vorpal blades’, because it sounded cool, even though an actual vorpal blade simply could decapitate a person and any of mine could do that if necessary.

4

After the two weeks, I went to pick up my new weapons. It was a Mountday, and I was, to be perfectly honest, quite excited. I had never had magical blades, as I had thought them unnecessary, but I had made an exception for these. 

“You must bind them to your will,” Durtor told me, “or else they will never obey you.” That seemed kinda obvious to me, but hey, it was a fair assumption about my intelligence. “What do I need to do, anyway?”

“You must take hold of one of the swords, with both hands.” I did so, feeling like a paladin or something. “Now, press the tip into your forehead, enough to take a drop of blood.”

“This sounds painful, but most rituals are.”

“Yes, blood is a powerful bonding tool. Now just do it already.” I moved the longsword until the cool metal of the tip rested against my head, and then pressed it as Durtor had told me to. A drop of blood fell onto the blade, and ran down it until it hit the guard, where it soaked in. I felt a shiver go down my spine, as a feeling of openness surrounded me.

“You may feel overwhelmed by the many strange feelings coming over you. This is a synchronicity with the sword, which shares with you the vast feeling of many dimensions. No matter where you go, this blade will follow you, and you will control its power. It is a weapon sought after by many, though as long as you live, only you will be its master. Guard it well, for it is a great tool, and it will guard you as well. Now, the other one.”

We did the same process with the shortsword, including Durtor’s speech, which probably contained power in and of itself. Following that, I followed him to the training arena, where several magical fighters stood at attention. They were unintelligent dummies, set at several levels, for fighting against, both newbies and veterans with weapons. I selected ones about middling level, so that I could practice with these different swords. In addition to the two vorpal blades, I had shield-like protection on my forearms, leather armor on the rest of my body, a dagger hidden on the side of my boot, two more daggers in my coat, and a shortbow slung across my back, with a quiver of arrows. I walked into the arena, readied my swords, and called out to start. 

Two dummies ran at me from an archway, one with a hand and a half sword, the other with a club. I quickly checked around me to make sure that no other enemies were coming, and, reassured that these were the only ones here, moved such that the one with the club was directly in front of the sword dummy, thus giving myself one target at a time. 

The dummy swung the club at me, which I easily dodged back to avoid, then I rushed forward and plunged the longsword into its chest. It lurched to the side, and I phased my blade so that I wouldn’t be knocked off balance. The sword only contained the weight of the handle when phased, which was good to know, so that I wouldn’t overcommit myself or make a mistake based on weight, and I rolled to the side to dodge the next swing. 

Almost too late, I remembered the other dummy, and moved my arm shield to block the strike I heard coming from my left side. I brought my shortsword in, hooked the much larger sword with the guard, and braced myself. The dummy pushed hard, trying to use brute force to overpower my blade, when I moved my body to the side and phased my sword. The dummy fell, overbalanced, and I calmly stabbed it in the head, the only place capable of deactivating them. The club dummy was up now, and coming for me. It brought the club down hard, but I rolled to my right and quickly switched my blades (my typical arrangement is longsword right hand, shortsword left hand). I brought my longsword into the thing’s back, shoved it to the ground, and stabbed it in the head with the shortsword. The fight now over, the two dummies got up and went back to their storage area, waiting for the next fight.

“Impressive,” Robin said, walking up to me.

“Sloppy,” I corrected, panting, “but I can improve. Were you watching the entire fight?”

“First of all, I was talking about the swords themselves. You, however, were terrible. Second of all, yes, I saw the whole thing. Making them come at you one at a time was a good idea, but you have to remember that they are both there. I saw your surprise when you had to block that sword dummy. Good move with the phasing out, though. Could be very useful in the future.”

I shook my head, amazed at what he had said. “Yes, that is why I got them. That is exactly what I wanted.”

He raised his hands, shrugged, and replied, “Hey, I didn’t know what kind of swords you were going for. Two weeks ago, you just told me ‘I want a new magical blade and hey, here’s my current one because I’ve only had it for two years and don’t want it anymore’.”

“That was a pretty good impression of me. Good job,” I said, and he smiled. 

“Why do I even hang out with you?” he asked, “because all you do is the wrong or rash thing and never tell me anything.”

“It’s either my winning personality or the fact that you are the one that recruited me into the guild.”

“Well, it’s certainly not your personality.”

“Haha, very funny. Now, let’s go get us something else to do. I’m bored.”

*

We made our way to a tavern (taverns are great, they are like restaurants mixed with motels, aka motels with good food) and got some food, because it was about midday.

“Hey,” I said to get his attention, “you wanna steal from that dude I told you about right after telling you about getting these epic boots?”

Robin shrugged. “Sure,” he said. “Now, what about this mage do we need to know?”

“Well, they are very powerful and dangerous. Their name is Noxlumos, or the light in the darkness, which is all cool and all, but their staff is the good bit. I’m not sure if it teleports the user, or makes them invisible or what, but I know it doesn’t have a master because I’ve seen multiple people use it. They live at the edge of town, and I know they have very good defenses. We will have to be extremely cautious, but I think we can do it.”

He sighed. “Well, I’ve been waiting for a good reason to die, and this seems like it. Let’s do it.”

5

As per every mission we do, we had to get the necessary materials. I went to the blacksmith’s again, as well as a magical item shop and a general shop. I made a couple other stops, which aren’t necessary to mention, and I had all my equipment. I met up with Robin at the guild, and used our hand code to ask him whether he had the things I asked him to get. He said that he did, and we were ready to go. When we got near, we saw what we were up against.

They had a large house, more like a mansion, with grass out front, and a stone path up to it. It was very nice, except for the clay golem out front.

“Well, that makes things a bit more difficult,” I said.

“Wait, you did scope this place out first, right? That’s how you knew what to get?” he asked, worriedly.

“Yes, I knew to scope the house out, but this is a new addition. Makes me wonder what else might be in there. Eh, no matter. We got this. Just need to sneak past a creature designed to not sneak.”

He sighed. “You know, I was joking when I said I was ready to die, but hey, whatever. Let’s do this.”

*

We crept around to the side of the house, and started to climb it. I made it to a second story window, which had actual glass in it, went up onto the windowsill, and waited for Robin to join me.

“Now, I don’t know exactly what we’re going to find here. I know most of the defenses, but I can’t be 100% sure of everything, and the layout of the house and where the staff is isn’t really known to me, except for perhaps an idea based off of other houses of similar construction,” I told him.

“Okay, let’s just go. I’ve resigned myself to this fate, let’s get it over with,” he replied.

I used my shortsword to cut a hole in the glass (gotta love freshly sharpened blades!), and we quietly climbed through. We found ourselves in what looked like a bathroom, except everything was white. It seemed to be made of some kind of stone, like quartz, though much more fragile, from the way it felt. In fact, the entire room was like something out of a fantasy book, with many strange and unknown things in it. We were very confused by the whole thing, and so moved on. We went into the hallway, which was covered in rug-like material, like a carpet over the flooring. We neutralized any alarms we found, and almost activated a few before noticing them

‘This “mage” seems much more powerful than I thought’ Robin signalled at me.

‘Yes, it is possible he is a wizard, but I only knew he used magic, not exactly what kind,’ I responded. ‘Now be quiet. We don’t want to attract attention.’

We continued, looking through the rooms, finding many strange-looking things which we didn’t touch, for we did not know what they would do, and we were too smart to risk it. We found what appeared to be a kitchen, dining room, and living area, but no sign of the staff. Finally, we found a bedroom, which contained the wizard, sleeping in a large bed.

‘Since I have the magical boots and know what the staff looks like, I’ll head in. If I see the staff, I’ll signal you and grab it,’ I told him, and he nodded in agreement.

I crept into the room, careful to make sure my boots made not a sound. I looked around, but couldn’t immediately see the staff. I moved to the side of the bed and looked under it. Nothing was underneath, and so I turned toward the closet that was to the left of the entrance. It was full of wizard clothing, as one might expect, but there was something else that I could make out. It didn’t appear to be the staff, but I was curious. I moved close to the closet, and saw a bow. Well, I thought, that is good to know, I suppose. I looked around again, and saw a chest on the other side of the room, which might contain something magical. I quietly moved toward it, and used one of my charms, which was supposed to Detect Monsters. I had encountered a Mimic before, and had no desire to do so again, especially right next to a wizard. It seemed to be a normal chest, so I used a few more charms to check and neutralize any alarms I could find on it, oiled the hinges so it wouldn’t creak, and then it was time.

I reached for the chest, readied myself, and opened the lid quickly. It is always best to do certain things quickly, similar to ripping off a bandage. The chest opened smoothly, and didn’t seem to trigger any alarms, though I looked at the wizard to make sure they weren’t awake. I looked into the chest and - 

“Eureka,” I said under my breath, reaching in and taking out the staff. It was long, probably about 5 feet tall, and I couldn’t understand how it fit in the chest at first, until I realized it was a Chest of Compression, which made items smaller when they are put in them. It was fairly nondescript, a tall, wooden pole, except for the top, where the image of a spider stood, raised on all 8 legs, in bronze. On its abdomen was a gem, and its eyes were studded ruby. I had seen it before, and so knew it was the correct staff, as well as the thrill of power running through it. 

I moved back out into the hall after closing the lid of the chest carefully, and signalled to Robin that I had the staff, to which he replied, ‘Well, I think that’s obvious, considering the fact that you are holding it.’ I told him not to be a smart aleck, and we made our way back through the strange room to where we had entered. I wrapped the staff in cloth, strapped it to my back alongside my bow, and climbed back out the window. I quickly made my way down, and Robin followed. We crept away from the house, doing our best not to awaken the golem, and we must’ve done something right, because we made it all the way back to the guild without the beast coming after us.

6

The next day, Robin came over to my room. I had put the wrapped staff under my bed, where it had lain below me while I meditated. When he got there, I took out the staff, and slowly unwrapped it. In the daylight coming in from my window, we could better see the figure at the top. It was definitely a spider, and the crystal in its abdomen looked like a blue amethyst, in the shape of an hourglass.

“This almost definitely has some kind of symbolism or significance to it,” I said, “but I have no idea what. Eh, I’m sure it’ll come up again later.”

Robin sighed. “That’s a terrible way to go through life, but okay.”

“Come on, man, let’s see what it can do. Actually, scratch that. Let’s check it for malevolence, and then use it!”

We left my room, and went to our wizard’s quarters. We handed him the staff, told him we found it in a shop and liked it, and asked him to check it for anything evil. He found nothing, except that it contained very potent magic, and wondered “what kind of shop will just sell something this powerful?” We shrugged, and went back to my room.

“Well, now can we try the stick?”

“Fine.”

I took out the staff, braced it against the floor, and gripped it with both hands.

“Do I have to say something, or will it just happen, or what?”

“Dude, I have no idea, you’re the one who saw people use it.”

“Okay, I think I just have to concentrate on… something… I’m not sure. Grab the staff as well, just in case, though.”

Robin grabbed the staff, just below where I was holding it, and I, not knowing what exactly I was doing, moved one of my hands and gripped the spider’s body in my hand, on top of the staff. A shiver went down my spine, similar to the thrill of power I felt when I first held it. One at a time, the spider’s legs moved, coming up for a second, and then settling back down on the staff. This freaked me out a bit, though I found that I couldn’t let go of it. 

By this point, I was having second thoughts, especially as a wind picked up, circling throughout the room, and the amethyst set in the spider began to glow. Robin had already started screaming, and I was panicking a lot. My eyes wide, I tried to move away, but the staff was firmly stuck, attached to nothing, and I was attached to it, as was Robin. The room started to spin, or at least it appeared to, and colors were flying everywhere, reds and blues mixing and bathing the room in a multi-colored madness. The wind was at cyclone levels now, or so it felt, and my last thought before spinning into unconsciousness was, Please mommy, let me off of this ride, it isn’t fun. I’m guessing I was a little loopy from whatever was happening.

*

When I woke up, I was in a field. It seemed to be farmland, though the crop was unknown to me. It was tall, almost as tall as me, with some kind yellow thing on the end of long, green stalks. As it hadn’t attacked me, I had to assume it was either a passive entity or inanimate. Robin was laying next to me, with the staff nearby. I quickly rewrapped the staff, which looked the same as before we tried to use it, and tried to wake Robin up.

“Robin!” I said, slapping his cheek, “we need to go!”

“Wh-what?” he said groggily, his eyes opening up slightly. “Where are we?”

I looked around, and saw that it was about midday here, as well. “I’m not sure, but I don’t think it’s anywhere good.”

He got to his feet, I put the staff on my back again, and we started off. After about 10 minutes of walking, we saw something resembling a house, which we stopped to look at, though it was entirely blue and the structure was different from most of the houses I had seen in my life. The closest I could think of was the wizard’s house that we had stolen the staff from, which did not fill me with confidence or excitement.

“Well, we might as well go in,” Robin said, and I sighed and started to walk toward it again. 

“Sure, while we’re here in this strange place, let’s go to the random house. That sounds like a great idea, yeah,” I said sarcastically, and we got to the door.

“Should we knock, sneak in, or what?” Robin asked me. I reached up and knocked, for I felt like being dangerous. A few seconds later, a woman answered the door. She was wearing strange fabric, and was very tan.

“Yeah? What do you want?” she asked exasperatedly, to which I replied, “Hello, um, where are we?” She blinked, and then laughed. 

“Yeah, a lot of folks get lost out in the country. Your car must’ve broken down, huh? Well, if you follow that road-” She gestured to the side, where a road lay “-for a few miles, you’ll find yourselves in Chicago. Were you going to a convention of some kind? I didn’t know there was a Comic-Con going on around here, but I’m not really that kind of gal, so what do I know? Nice costumes, you must’ve put a lot of work into it.”

“Uh, thank you? We’ll be leaving now.”

“Okay, okay, I’m probably talking your ears off. Enjoy yourselves!”

As we walked over to the road, I mulled over what she had talked about. Cars? Chicago? Conventions? Comic-Con? Where were we?

7

We started to walk down the road. The sun beat down, burning us up, and strange machines whizzed by us at frightening speeds. Considering what the woman had told us, I assumed these were cars, which terrified me for what might happen should they break down at those speeds. Robin tried to make conversation, but I wasn’t in the mood for it.

After about an hour, we were both exhausted, though, in the distance, we saw buildings towering up into the sky, which I assumed was the city. Half an hour later, we were dragging ourselves up the road, and the city was laid out in front of us. It was terrifying, because wherever we were, the sky was blocked off mostly by the giant buildings, which looked like they were scraping the top of the world. We collapsed beneath one, and Robin almost immediately fell asleep. I, still watchful and cautious of a new place, sat in the lotus position and meditated.

When I was finished, about 4 hours later, I decided to leave. I set up some defenses, though one of my charms didn’t seem to be working properly, which was strange. As I walked through the city, I was glad to know that I could read all of the signs and such around it. It seemed to be in Common, though it possibly had an enchantment to let anyone read it in their main language. There were many strange and disturbing things, and the ‘cars’ seemed to take over most of the walking space. Many people stared at me, but I am used to that, especially because of my hair. I pulled my hood up to cover it, but they continued to look. I was getting pretty annoyed by that point, and so I moved into a building. It seemed to be some kind of clothing store, though not with any kind of armor or protection in general as something important. The main deciding factor in what people were buying seemed to be the design, which seemed inane and unimportant to me, but whatever.

I decided that I needed some new clothes so that I could fit in wherever we were, but I wasn’t willing to give up what I was already wearing. I decided to get a large blue sweater to wear over my clothing, with a hood so that I could cover my hair (and ears, for it didn’t seem like anyone else here was an elf). I decided to get some ‘sweatpants’, simply because they seemed to cover my legs the best while also allowing me to move. I brought them to the counter, where I tried to pay with a couple silver coins, the price I would gauge for the items, though apparently wherever we were used small, green slips of paper as currency. Somehow, I managed to get the clothes honestly, and get out of there. I had to find a place for my bow, which I simply ended up leaving behind near where Robin was, and I had to enchant the appearance of the staff so it didn’t look like it had the spider on it. Other than that, with the clothes I got (I forgot to get any for Robin, though he blended in a little better), I think I fit in enough to not draw too many looks.

When I returned to Robin, he was awake and standing. He looked a little upset, which I suppose he was entitled to considering I had left him alone here.

“So, where are we? Did you find that out when you left me here?” he asked, annoyed.

“Yes, I believe we are in the ‘Chicago’ the woman told us about, and the people here use green slips of paper for currency. Everyone speaks Common, so you don’t have to worry about that, though I only saw humans, not any dwarfs, elves, or even halflings.”

“Could be an entirely human settlement.”

“Maybe, but it seems too large for that. Also, the clothing store I went to didn’t have any armor or defenses at all, only thin fabric like this. In addition to that, some of my charms didn’t work. One of them almost blew up in my face, which definitely isn’t normal.”

“Let’s ask around, see if we can find where we are. We should split up and meet back in, hm, an hour? Yeah, an hour.”

*

We went in different directions, him down one street, me down another. 

“Well, Alushtas,” I said under my breath to myself, “Where should you go to find out information?”

I looked around for a while, and saw some more stores that I decided I would not enter until I had the correct money to pay for items, as well as some residential buildings. Everything was extremely tall, even taller than the tavern we had stolen from weeks ago, and it all confused me quite a lot. Eventually, I found a pawn shop, which luckily didn’t look too different from the ones I had seen before, except for the neon signs and the human pawnbroker (most of the ones I knew were goblins or orcs, for whatever reason). I managed to trade some of my gold pieces for about $150, which seemed like a good amount. By this point, it had been half an hour, but I kept looking around. 

After about 5 minutes, I saw a large building, mercifully not nearly as tall as the others surrounding me, but still quite big. By this point, I had decided that either we were in a very far away part of the world, or we had shifted dimensions. I went inside, intent on finding a mage that could help transport us back to Faerûn, but when I got to the person at the desk, who seemed to be someone in charge, all she told me was, “Look, sir (which I did not appreciate), there are flights to San Diego, California, you might find a convention there. I don’t know much about them, but I’ve heard of wizards at conventions.” I thanked her, and booked two tickets to California.

I returned to our meeting location about five minutes before Robin arrived. I told him what I suspected about where we were, and that there were wizards in California that might be able to give us the assistance we needed. He told me that he didn’t find anything, though he also managed to get some money, as well as some food. It was similar to foods back home, but strangely different as well. 

We got to our flight a bit late, but managed to board, and it was terrifying! We were trapped in a metal tube, thousands of feet in the air, with nothing to do. It took about four and a half hours, and somehow Robin was able to relax. I hoped that I wouldn’t have to ride in such a monstrosity again, for I didn’t even like riding animals that flew, let alone mechanical beasts.

When we landed, I got as far away from the metal machine as quickly as possible, though I did collect the things I had in my luggage. I am not sure how we made it through security, as it seemed to have detectors of weapons, but I’m assuming Robin used some kind of magic to fool them. It was nearly night, so we looked around and found a place to spend the night. It was a motel, and didn’t cost too much, which was nice. We crashed into our beds, confident that the next day would bring us good fortune.

8

As an elf, I didn’t really sleep, I merely meditated. 4 hours of meditation for me is about the same as 8 hours of sleep for a human, I believe, and much more productive, for I can think, ponder, and contemplate as I desire while meditating, instead of being dead-brained or dreaming. I woke up much before Robin, and decided to explore again. I left him a note this time, and left the room.

The city was similar to Chicago, but definitely different as well. From what I saw, we were in luck, for the ‘Comic-con’ was going to be in about a week. I didn’t know exactly what a Comic-con was, but from what I’d been told, it definitely seemed like the sort of place where I’d find a wizard. Also, it quickly became clear that we had changed dimensions, and the only seemingly sentient creatures here were humans, with a lot of the other races I knew to exist living only in the pages of fantasy books and games. I found one roleplaying, tabletop game called Dungeons and Dragons, which had a lot of information about a lot of things that I knew about, including my own species. A large world that was a part of D&D, as it was called, was even called Faerûn, which freaked me out. After some thinking, I decided that someone had been to this universe, and created a game based off of our world, giving me hope that they may be able to help us escape.

When I returned, I found Robin eating breakfast. He didn’t seem angry that I had left, especially when I told him what I knew.

“Well, it’s a stretch,” he said, “but I think if an actual wizard was here, they would be at this Comic-con. I found some information, and apparently a lot of people dress up, or cosplay, as different fictional people or species, including, surprisingly, elves. Probably the only place in this realm that you can be uncovered without attracting attention.”

I laughed, and responded, “I think I’ll still attract attention, if just because my elf cosplay is so good.”

“Fair enough.”

*

We spent the week learning more about ‘Earth’, which is an interesting place. It seemed that magic did not naturally occur here, but could exist. It was what is known as a Chaos realm, where both technology and magic both exist, though magic did not always work correctly because it isn’t natural there. However, possibly because they were designed to go between dimensions, my Vorpal blades worked perfectly, which was wonderful in a world that, while being much more violent than most, absolutely did not tolerate using such blades.

The day before we went to Comic-Con, I believe it was a Wednesday, we really didn’t have anything to do. I was sick of learning about Earth, and Robin had learned as much as he needed to, which was good enough for him.

“So,” he said, walking up to me. I was leaning against a wall of the breakfast area of the motel, eating a bagel with cream cheese. “We have gotten to know each other, and grown, I think at least, to be friends. However, I don’t know anything about your past. All I know is that you are a thief, and a good conversationalist. Tell me about yourself.”

I took a deep breath, and thought for a minute. “Okay, do you want me to start all the way back at the beginning?”

“Yeah, I think that would be a good place to begin,” he said after a moment’s consideration.

“Okay, then. Let’s see… My birth was special, for most elves are born male or female. I, however, was born completely androgynous, with neither sexes’ genitals or anything, in the image of one of the elven gods, Corellon Larethian. At least in my culture, anyone can be anything, and gender doesn’t hold anyone back, though we androgynes are special. Because of our androgyny, we don’t experience puberty like other elves. It is difficult to explain, but the point is, we don’t experience sexual attraction or the normal mood swings or whatever of being a teenager. We cannot be seduced because of this, though I suppose we could be seduced romantically, because we can still feel romantic love. We typically become warriors or something like that, and I later chose to be a thief, because it’s fun.

“In addition to that, I also have my hair. It evidently changes color depending on my mood, which can make it difficult to hide my emotions, though it has helped me become more in tune with them than I believe others are. I do not know why it changes colors, though I have tried to find out in my past.

“I lived in elven woods, for, yes, I am a wood elf, and my woods were fairly safe, and there were some more wild woods next to ours. I believe there were animals there that we didn’t feel comfortable dealing with, and our woods were plentiful enough, and so we were content to stay where we were. There was a halfling settlement in our forest, not too far from the wild woods, and I spent a lot of time there. Some elves lived as caretakers for the young halflings, and one of those halflings was my best friend, a young boy named Tyr. We got into a lot of mischief, which probably got me on the path to be a thief and a rogue. He was a lot of fun, though, one day, when he was a teenager, he wanted to go with his sister and caretaker to explore some ruins he heard about in the wild woods. I advised him not to, as there was a reason we didn’t go there, but he didn’t listen to me. He got his stuff together, prepped himself for the mission, and left. I never saw him again.”

“That’s terrible,” Robin said sympathetically.

“Yeah. He told me he would be back in 2 weeks, but after a month, I was disparaged. After it had been 2 months, I felt incredibly guilty. I felt that if I had gone with him, I could’ve protected him. I left home, for it held too many memories of him, and went out into the world.

“I traveled around a bit, ended up in Ten-Towns, and stayed for a bit. Eventually, I moved on, and moved around more. Finally, I ended up in Calimport, where I became a thief. You heard about my first job, and then I just kind of made my way around until I found my way here. That’s about it for me, I think. What about you?”

Robin sighed. “My story really isn’t that exciting. Still, I guess I can’t dissuade you. I lived with my parents until I was 16, when I was kicked out for being aromantic and asexual. Humans are, unfortunately, much less accepting than other races. Anyway, similar to you, I kinda just went around, being a street rat, stealing what I needed. Eventually, I managed to pull off such a big stunt that, of course, my current guild found and recruited me, just as I recruited you.”

“That is certainly shorter than my backstory, though just as important. I’m sorry about your parents.”

He shrugged, and said, “Eh, yeah, I’ve gotten used to it. It hurt at first, but by now I haven’t talked to them at all, and I’ve understood that not everybody is accepting, and that is something that needs to be changed.”

“I didn’t know you were ace aro, why haven’t you told me?” I asked, cocking my head to one side.

“Didn’t feel the need to, I guess. I don’t know,” he responded sheepishly.

“That’s fair. Anyway, what do you want to do today? We’ve stood here for about half an hour, we still have like 10 hours or something about math and time.”

“Uh, I don’t know, there’s a park somewhere around here called SeaWorld, wanna go?”

I considered for a moment, and then replied, “Sure, as long as we can get in”

We went over to SeaWorld, where we luckily had enough to pay the entrance fee. To write, it wasn’t very exciting, though Robin did try to free the otters: “They’re just too cute to stay here! We have to help them!”. We rode the few rides there were, and in the end, I didn’t really enjoy the trip, because we both felt bad for the animals. When we got back, we reviewed our game plan for Comic-Con.

“So, we’re going to go as ourselves, because lots of people will be like that,” Robin said. “Your ‘costume’ is the best of anyone’s around, obviously, and so you will probably draw a crowd. Do your thing, use those blades, dazzle them. I’ll be looking for anyone that looks like they are too interested in what you’re doing, and approach them. I know what I’m going to say, though I will definitely end up improvising. I’m sure we’ll find someone that can help us.”

“Sounds good, and I’m hopeful we can get back soon,” I replied.

9

The next morning, we were both excited. We were finally going to get our answers. Fairly early that morning, we set out. It took us a bit to find the convention center, which Robin remarked upon: “This sounds exactly like the sort of thing we should’ve prepared for earlier this week”. I hate it when he’s right.

When we got there, we were awestruck at the spectacle before us. Hundreds of people, dressed as wizards, elves, orcs, comic book superheroes, video game characters, and soooooooo much more were there. Cosplayers of every kind, colors everywhere, it was incredible! I can’t begin to describe the wonder I felt, or everything I wondered at.

“All the hype was worth it,” Robin whispered to me, and I slowly nodded.

“This is… wow,” I responded, my eyes large. The twos of us, Robin and I, walked into the center, and my jaw dropped. It was even better than the outside! So many people, packed into the place! I knew it was big, but now I was wondering how exactly I was supposed to entertain everybody while Robin looked through them.

“Okay, slight change to the plan. I’m going to go up on that stage and begin my act. I’ll invite some people up, do some cool stuff. I’ll use a spell to broadcast my voice, for I think it’d be difficult to get a connected microphone headpiece thing. You get up there-” I pointed up to some of the pathways near the ceiling, probably so that those large posters on the wall could be hung, or something “- and use this charm of seeing” -I produced a small magnifying glass from my pocket - obviously enchanted, not just a magnifying glass “-and scan the crowd. You know what to look for, and, I don’t know, figure out a way to contact them. Maybe you have a charm, or something, I’m not sure. Improvise, you’re good at that!”

“This is a terrible idea,” Robin told me, “and you’re going to get kicked out. Still, I can’t think of a better idea.”

I grinned. “Good, and besides, if I do well enough, they won’t want me to leave. Now go up, and get ready.”

I waited while he made his way through back ways and such, until he was up on the pathways (I should really figure out what they are called, but we don’t have them where I come from, and I don’t feel like learning it). He tossed something down at me, not sure how it got to me through the crowd, and I looked questioningly at him. He mimed putting it in my ear, and it did look like some kind of earpiece. I gently placed it in my ear, wincing slightly, for I didn’t think it was meant for my pointy elven ears. 

“Hey,” a voice that sounded like Robin’s came into my ear. I jumped, and looked up at him. He was grinning, of course.

“Can we communicate through these?” I hesitantly asked, to which I heard, while noticing it was definitely Robin speaking, “Yeah, I found a couple earpieces and tuned them to each other. Don’t know how I managed, but hey, if it ain't broke, don’t knock it.”

I chuckled, and responded, “Fair. Let’s get this show on the proverbial road and the literal stage.”

I pushed my way through the crowd, passing Captain Americas, Captain Rogers’, Captain Mal Reynolds’, and many others that were not Captains. Finally, I made my way to the stage. Wondering what exactly I would say, I jumped up onto it, where there were luckily no people, and muttered to myself, “I’m an introvert, and yet I’m here at such an extrovert place, about to do something terrifying. It’s a good thing I really want to get home, and I really hope this works.”

I activated my charm as people looked up at me, wondering what an elf was doing up on stage, and began speaking.

“Hello, all of you. You might be wondering what I’m doing up here on stage. To be honest, I am not sure either, but I think I’m supposed to give a demonstration or whatever it’s called for my cosplay, but they didn’t really tell me. Hey, can I get some boxes or something destructible up here?”

A couple confused convention workers brought up some empty boxes, while I sweated, wondering if I should make a run for it. Somehow, though, nobody came up and stopped me. I wasn’t even sure why there was a stage up here in the first place. Was an event or actual demonstration supposed to happen? Whatever the case, this was working, and I could see Robin up there scanning the crowd, though none of them really should be interested yet.

It was time to change that.

I deftly pulled out my sword, keeping it in this dimension. I did some basic fighter’s moves, which seemed to impress the people. 

“This is one of two Vorpal blades of mine. The name is misleading, or rather, does not do my blades justice. A vorpal blade simply is one that has the capacity to decapitate a foe, especially in fantasy games such as Dungeons and Dragons. However, all of my blades are like that.”

A few nervous laughs floated to me. I looked up at Robin for support, and he gave me a thumbs up. He spoke to me, saying, “Now, tell them the special thing and give them a little demonstration.”

“Okay. My blades are special, for they are enchanted. They can change dimensions at my will, and thus pass through objects in this one when I desire, and join back up in this one to cut what I want.”

To demonstrate, I deftly stabbed my sword at the first box, phasing it just before it broke the flimsy cardboard.

“Now, that may not look impressive, as you do not know that my blades do any damage at all, or that these boxes were not staged so I would not appear to do any damage. Furthermore, optical illusions could render it such that I did not stab the cardboard at all, and thus am a fraud. Now, will someone please come up here? I really don’t care who.”

People murmured amongst themselves, until one person stepped forward.

“I will,” they said, and I asked them a little about themselves. They were John, a human male, who came alone, dressed as The Arrow from DC. He loved coming to Comic-Con, and was excited at the opportunity to be a part of what he thought of as a very real and planned demonstration. He came up on stage, and I appraised him.

“I loved your T.V. show,” I said, saying the first thing that popped into my head. I had never seen a single episode, but knew that it was a thing and hoped he wouldn’t question me.

He beamed at me, and said, “Thank you! You are a really good elf!”

“I try. Now,” I directed this at the crowd, “I shall prove, in front of a witness, that these blades are no joke.”

I quickly pulled the handles close to myself, phased them back into reality, and drove them into the boxes. They easily cut through them, for they were designed to cut through things much tougher than some boxes. I then rapidly whirled, phased my blades out of sync, swept the handles just in front of John’s face, and phased them back in sync with the world. I asked a stunned, slightly scared John to touch the blades, and he reported they were very sharp.

“Now, was that an optical illusion? I think not. I am also a great fighter, and master of small charms.” At this, I tossed up a charm I had created haphazardly and quickly earlier, which exploded into a sunburst of light. I had built it to be merely light and not also heat, a better model, I think, than the fireworks of Earth. I pulled another from my cloak, threw it to the ground, and watched as the image of a unicorn burst from it, dazzling the crowd as it dashed between them, an apparition and nothing more. After lapping the center, it returned to the charm, which I picked up. I asked John to return, and I thought about what I would do next.

I heard Robin tell me, “I may have found someone. Here, let me give you some sight.” Before I could protest, I was looking through one of Robin’s eyes and one of my own, which was quite disconcerting. I closed the eye connected to my own vision, and looked through Robin’s. He was looking at a wizard, quite a well done cosplay, perhaps too well done. He was staring attentively at me, but not the same way as the others. He wasn’t awed, or surprised, just kinda wide-eyed, like he couldn’t believe someone else was here. I nodded, prepared for vertigo, and opened my other eye.

After a moment, I noticed the position of the wizard. I noted him in my mind, noted where he was, and whispered to Robin to disconnect us. My vision was yanked back to my own perspective, which was nice, and I prepared my next bit. Everyone was still oohing and aahing at my magic, and so I decided to have a little fun. 

“You there!” my voice boomed, my finger pointed at the wizard. He panicked, and I quickly said, “No, please, come on up. I won’t hurt you, I just want another person for my next part. John was lovely, but you look like you know some real magic!” I laughed, and the audience laughed as well. He was pushed forward, and reluctantly got up on stage. 

“Now, what is your name?” I asked him, which was the polite way to go about things, I believed.

He glared at me, and responded, “I am Thuzhal, a wizard banished to this realm for many heinous acts.”

“Ooh, nice backstory. I like it! What kinds of acts?” I replied enthusiastically.

He sighed, and said, “Well, people don’t really ask me, so I say they’re heinous. I was just kinda messing around and apparently broke something important, and so I was magically exiled. I was trying to figure out how to get back in, looking through probably forbidden texts, when I tried a spell to return me to the place so I could undo my exile, but it instead sent me across dimensions and I ended up on this technology-ridden, climate-changed planet.”

I clapped, and people in the audience followed my example. “I like that! Gives you an objective, something dark, and just enough flare of mystery. Now, my good sir, I am also not from around here. I was transported here when I tried to figure out the true magical nature of my staff, here-” I gestured at the staff I had leaned against a wall, yes, obviously the one topped with the spider, “-and found myself in a cornfield in Illinois! Naturally, I was confused, as corn does not exist in my world, and I did not know that I had changed dimensions. Now, my man, I believe we can help each other! You know magic and magical items, and I have my staff! Now, for my demonstration…” I decided to try a little something. I pulled out my blades, and concentrated on making them visible, but slightly out of sync with Earth. The sword blades usually became invisible when phased, but I did my best to keep that from happening. 

The blades flickered, trying to change dimensions, but I did my best. Eventually, they came into full view, but I passed them gently through my hand to make sure they weren’t physical. I then whirled and, similarly to what I did with John, tried to swing it through the wizard’s neck. However, he was also armed, and so tried to block my attack, which obviously failed. My blade passed straight through him, and he retaliated, swinging a small dagger at me with ferocity and a wild look in his eyes. From the way he handled his blade, I could tell he wasn’t experienced. This was going to end quickly, luckily, I thought, and parried his frenzied swing. 

With a series of quick swipes, jabs, kicks, and punches, I disarmed the wizard and sent him to his knees. “Look, man, I didn’t want this to happen. I’m sorry for swinging at you, but it was part of the demonstration. You can get up and help me, or leave, alone, stuck here, probably never to return to your home. Which would you prefer?”

Thuzhal considered my words, and grudgingly got to his feet. I handed him his dagger, which appeared to be made of mithril, and smiled. 

“Good, now let’s get out of here. I’m not even supposed to be demonstrating anything here, I just got up on stage and nobody stopped me for whatever reason.” I deactivated my microphone-like charm, and told Robin, “Come on, let’s go.”

He ran into a door, and quickly joined me. I surveyed the crowd, which was full of whispers, no doubt about me and what I had just said. I jumped down, followed by Thuzhal and Robin, and we pushed past the crowd, out of the door, and ran a block before slowing to a walk. We returned to our motel, and I was happy we had managed to complete our goal for that day.

10

“I’m afraid we may have a problem,” Thuzhal said, walking into the bedroom.

“What kind of problem?” I asked, a little surprised by his sudden entrance and a little frustrated that he couldn’t immediately solve all of our problems.

He winced at the strength of my words, and responded, “Well, I know what kind of magic it uses, and I can partially control it. However, I cannot control the exact dimension. I can make it so that we don’t end up places we can’t survive, like in the vastness of space, or on a planet where the air is poisonous. We will have to travel many worlds until we either get lucky and end up in the right one, or find someone who can use your energy signatures to lock onto our universe. Will that work?”

I thought about it, looked over at Robin, who was sitting cross-legged on his bed, and looked back at Thuzhal. “Well, I guess we don’t really have a choice, so let’s go with that. Do we have any idea how long this will take?”

Thuzhal grinned, and said loudly, “Nope!”

I sighed, and replied, “Well, pack your bags. Might as well get right on down to it.”

*

We packed the gear we wanted to bring with us, which included some probably illegal items. It has been neglected to mention that these items included two assault rifles, lots of ammo, a couple grenades, a few other guns, including a sniper rifle and a pistol (of course we also had plenty of those ammos as well, and I intended to get a blacksmith or something to break them open and figure out how to make them and potentially augment them/the gun.). There were others, but I shouldn’t really mention them.

We gathered behind the motel, in the parking lot, after checking out and getting our stuff all ready. I readied myself for what was about to happen, planted the staff at arm’s length in front of me, and Robin and Thuzhal both grabbed it. After exchanging grim looks with both of them, I grabbed the spider, and it did the same thing as the previous time we used it, though the eyes seemed to glow brighter and the wind seemed stronger. I closed my eyes, and wondered what would happen on the other side, just before I lost consciousness.

11

When I returned to consciousness, I was confused. The sky was a pastel purple, with red dots swirling through it. It seemed like some kind of strange dream, and its colors were chaos. The ground was some kind of acid green, and there were portable toilets everywhere. They were in every shade, from green to blue to pink to yellow. I closed my eyes, as I felt a migraine coming on. I shaded my eyes and reopened them, looking at the ground for Robin and Thuzhal. I found Thuzhal covering his eyes, peeking through his fingers at the landscape, and Robin was still passed out on the ground. Oh, and, by the way, Thuzhal is a human. 

“This is a strange world you have brought us to, elf,” he told me, and I followed his gaze. I had originally thought that the toilets were just sitting there, but as I really looked at them, I saw that they were moving. There was even a small village, made of what I couldn’t say, as there wasn’t a tree or rock around. Even the ground itself was a deep green, and made of a substance I couldn’t make out. It was smooth, and I could push my hand through it, like a partial liquid. It was strange, as none of us were sinking into it, but it didn’t seem like good building material. The toilets weren’t walking, or splitting apart in any way, but just seemed to glide, all of which seemed very strange and impossible to me. When they came to a step, they seemed like they just jumped, but with no downward movement to create thrust upward, if that makes sense.

“Let’s… explore?” I said hesitantly, and Thuzhal strode toward the settlement. I followed him, after a moment’s consideration, and dragged Robin behind me. When we got closer, we could see that it was made of some kind of wood, and so I guessed that they had just taken down any trees in view. It seemed similar to a Wild West town, minus the dust everywhere, horses, natural colors, or people. I was quite unnerved, and moved close to one of the johns.

“Uh… hello?” I said (asked?) hesitantly. It’s door turned to me, and it seemed to make an annoyed, squishy sound from within it. 

“Do you guys have any wizards or magic folk at all?” I asked it. It moved toward me, making angry sounds from within it, and I backed away. “I don’t think it likes the sound of ‘wizard’.” It moved faster, squishing louder, and other toilets started coming over. I pulled Robin into a fireman’s carry on my back, and readied one of my blades. 

“We should get out of here, Thuzhal,” I told him, and he nodded, his eyes frantic. I turned and ran, but there were toilets everywhere.

“No time! We have to do it here!” I shouted, and he grabbed the staff. I shrugged Robin forward and held his hand around the pole, and grabbed the arachnid on top.

*

When I awoke, I simply lay there. I didn’t really want to open my eyes and find out where we had landed, but I suppose it would have to happen eventually. I slowly opened my eyes, and squinted at the bright light coming from the sun… suns? There were two shining orbs in the sky, one more yellow-y, and one more orange-y. It was very hot, and the ground was grainy. When I looked at the landscape, I saw that we were in a large desert of sand, and there were a couple houses in the distance. It looked like about midday, but I couldn’t be sure how long the day lasted, so it would be best to start moving. I got to my feet, and noticed that both Thuzhal and Robin were still passed out.

“Hey,” I said, shaking Robin. He stirred, and started moving. I moved over to Thuzhal, and patted his shoulder.

“Wakey, wakey, time to get up sleepyhead,” I told Thuzhal, and his eyes snapped open, then quickly shut.

“Where are we, and why is it so bright?” Thuzhal said, and Robin nodded in agreement.

I shrugged. “I’m not sure, but there are some houses over there, we can ask them. I hope it goes better this time than last time.”

Robin looked confused. He held up a finger, and said, “Last time? Do you mean Earth?”

I was also confused for a second, before I remembered that Robin had been asleep the previous dimension.

“Well, we travelled dimensions, and you know how we always fall unconscious when we do that? Well, you were asleep while Thuzhal and I almost died from sentient Porta-Potties.”

This only served to bewilder him even more, and I described the events that had taken place in the strange, colorful dimension.

“Anyway,” I said, finishing up, “we should get moving. We aren’t going to kill ourselves, after all!”

With that lovely remark, we started walking toward the houses. It was extremely hot, hotter than Calimport, even hotter than California in summer. I didn’t know how people handled it, but then I thought, perhaps the people here are different and more adapted to this environment. 

After probably 15 minutes, we got to the houses. They were strange, quite small and kinda dome-like, circular, with person-height walls and a sloped, domed kinda roof. It was similarly colored as the sand, probably so that it could blend in, though the satellite dish looking thing on top of it kinda ruined the effect. It was silvery, and very much did not blend in.

“Sh-should we go in?” I asked tentatively, and Thuzhal marched forward, grinning. “Um, is that a yes?”

“I recognize this place!” he said in response, and knocked on the first door. I rushed toward him, but it was too late.

“HOW, exactly can you recognize this? You’ve never been here! You were directly transported to-” A thought rushed into my mind, causing me to stop in my tracks. “It’s like Faerûn, huh? Someone came from this world, or travelled here, and made a story or whatever based on this place?”

He slowly nodded, and simply replied, “Star Wars.”

*

The door opened, sliding to one side, and a man came out. I hadn’t seen a lot about Star Wars, but there were a lot of cosplayers at Comic-Con that I had recognized as probably being from this universe. The person that opened the door looked like Obi-Wan, except his hair was black. I blinked, for, while it was true I didn’t know much about Star Wars (already mentioned, but it makes this sentence flow better. Shut up, stupid), I knew that: 1. He wasn’t supposed to be on Tatooine until much later, when he looked old with white hair, or something, and 2. His hair was brown, not black. All of this was very confusing, especially once Qui Gon Jinn walked past, asking, “Who is it, honey?”

“U… u-um, I’m Alushtas, and these are Robin and Thuzhal,” I stammered, my eyes searching for answers I doubted I would easily find.

“Ah, hello! What lovely and strange names! What can I do for you?” he asked nicely, and I looked at my companions. 

“Uh, can we come in? I think we need to talk to you,” I said kinda randomly, for I was still very confused and needed to figure out what was happening.

He smiled, and ushered us in. “Honey, come meet our guests!” he said, and Qui Gon walked back in.

I looked back and forth between the two men, and I asked Obi-Wan, “Why does he keep calling you ‘honey’?”

They looked at each other and smiled, and Obi-Wan told me, “Well, we were dating for a while, but then this wonderful man approached me, what, probably almost a year and a half ago, and proposed to me! Of course, I said yes, and we’ve been living here ever since, happier than ever!” Qui Gon came over and hugged Obi-Wan deeply, and the two men sat down on a couch, holding hands. 

Thuzhal looked confused as well, though I had realized that this was not the normal Star Wars universe I knew, and the wizard asked, “Where is Luke? I thought he lived here.”

“Well, yes, he has, but once he married his spouse, they’ve been travelling the galaxy. Would you like some blue milk?”

“Uh, sure,” I said, and Obi-Wan waved his hand. A glass came over to me, as if by magic, and I sipped it warily. It was good, similar to Earth milk, but more coconut-y. 

“Soooo, who has Luke married, anyway?” I asked Qui Gon, taking a longer drink from my glass.

“Oh, he ran off with that hooligan, Han Solo, for a bit, but he came back eventually, and told me they were getting married. I was shocked, for it seemed sudden, but they were happy, and so we gave them our blessing,” he replied, and I, suddenly realizing something, asked another question (we really wanted to ask questions, I guess), “So what happened to Chewbacca?”

“Ah, good old Chew. They are going around the galaxy, exploring, happy by themselves. They liked Han, but they always felt less, you know? They are very introverted, and just like to explore. They find people difficult to understand, and they’ve told me that everyone just goes too quickly for them. Last I heard, they were going to Coruscant, which is nice.”

“Mhm. Anyway, you guys haven’t mastered inter-dimensional travel yet, have you?�� I asked, realizing that, while cool, this place wasn’t really gonna help us.

“Unfortunately, that project was shut down because of its possible repercussions and side effects and all that,” he told me, “did you need something like that?”

I shrugged, and said, “Yeah, it would’ve been nice, but I think we might be able to manage. We should be going, though. Thank you, both of you, for everything.”

Qui Gon smiled at us, and asked, “Are you sure you want to leave? We’d be happy for you to stay.”

I sadly smiled back at him, and replied, “Yeah, we need to go.”

We said our goodbyes, and left. When we were out of sight of the house, it was probably about midnight.

“Well guys? Shall we?” I said, holding out the spider-adorned staff.

*

We travelled through many more dimensions, probably more than I could ever describe. As we travelled, and got used to dimension-hopping, we slept for less and less time, and eventually simply got tired, and then slightly dizzy.

Something that I have talked about, but not really explained, was that Earth was a Chaos realm. This means that both magic and technology work there, though there are other realms in which magic works and tech doesn’t, ones where tech works and magic doesn’t, and ones where neither work. However, this is a flawed perspective. It is one described by wizards of old in my world (yes, interdimensional travel isn’t completely unknown back home in Faerun), and their experiences in other realms. 

This is flawed for a couple reasons. It isn’t so simple as just ‘technology and magic, or one, or neither’. Magic can take many forms, and magic that works in one place doesn’t necessarily work in another. In the Star Wars-like world, there were Jedi that could manipulate objects using their mind and what they called the Force, which seems to be a type of magic. Meanwhile, my own magic could have been unstable or unusable, because it is a different world than mine. Similarly, magic could exist on Earth, though its inhabitants didn’t usually have it, leading to unpredictable results. I was lucky that only a couple of my charms failed or had issues, and not more of them. There were many other forms of magic, but to go into detail would take too long.

Technology is also a difficult thing to pin down. It’s basically just the application of knowledge for practical purposes, and so almost anything creature-made could be said to be technology. Again, some technology could function in some places, but not in others. Some steampunk worlds, for instance, couldn’t ‘fathom’ the existence of further innovation, like cars or computers. Other worlds were stuck in the Stone Age, and in some, not even bird’s nests could be made. I am not sure what would happen if one tried to make a bird’s nest in that world, but I had decided not to find out.

As we went along in our journey, I collected items. I wanted mementos of our travels, and hey, they might be useful in the future. Unfortunately, I wasn’t always able to pick things up, whether because of being chased by the inhabitants of the world or something else (and if you’re wondering if I took something from the Star Wars world, yes, I palmed a handle-looking thing with a button from a counter). This led to some fights, some running, and some pain. Still, I wanted certain items, like I think one was called a “Babel fish”, which allowed me to understand others, no matter what language they spoke. 

Something that I realized was that no matter where we went, some items were still able to be used. I eventually figured out that it was because they were dimensional items, which transcended some of the ordinary rules of the realms. We started with two - the staff itself, which is a good thing, because otherwise we would’ve ended up stranded on a random world. The other was my Vorpal blades, which was nice, because I liked them. However, the realm we received the third (and fourth and fifth?) dimensional item(s) was very… strange…

 *

We had come from a world of robots. There wasn’t a single human, elf, dog, orc, sentient species of any kind, or really any organic being that we found. Everything was automated, and seemed as though there had once been people, but then they had left, potentially leaving the robots there to keep things up until they returned. However, we realized that it was unlikely, if not impossible, that a machine could bring us home, rather than magic. Therefore, we left pretty quickly, though not before I got a small bracelet that had nanotech that could form a dagger in my hand in a millisecond, which could be quite useful.

When we arrived in the new realm, we found ourselves in a smallish room. There was a bed of flowers, yellow flowers, illuminated by a fairly dim light coming through a hole in the ceiling of the room. Actually, it seemed more like a cave, though we couldn’t really be completely sure. There was a hallway, or corridor, or whatever to our right. We went through it, and found a doorway.

We went through it, and walked through a system of rooms, some of which had puzzles, and traps, though none of them actually hurt us (well, except for Robin, who got a sprained ankle after falling through some leaves). We saw beings, some might call them monsters or abominations, which had very strange physical makeups. This wasn’t really uncommon for us to see, because of everywhere we had already been, but weird stuff is weird. One had a large eye as most of its body, and another looked similar to a frog. They ran from us, so we didn’t have to worry about fighting them, and when we got to the end of the rooms, we came to a small house.

We tentatively opened the door, and found the house deserted (or at least visibly so, and nobody came to the door to see who was there). There were stairs leading down to what I assumed was a basement right in front of us, a living room looking area to our left, and a hallway to our right. It seemed like an odd way to set up a house, but again, lots of places were quite queer (in both senses of the term). 

Anyway, we entered the living room. There was a table with chairs, bookshelves with books on them - “How to Cook Snails, Snail Basics, Meals with Snails?” -, and an armchair in front of a fireplace, fire included, which seemed like a fire hazard, but whatever. We didn’t find anyone, so we went through the door leading out of the room (not the one we entered).

We were in a kitchen, which seemed normal, except the stove didn’t work, there was white fur in the sink, and a pie on the counter. There was a faint smell of pie crust and cinnamon in the air, and I took a slice for later, in case I might want it (hey, I’m a thief, what would you expect, perfect morals?). We went back to the first room, and entered the hall.

There were three doors, two of which were bedrooms. We decided not to explore them, though one looked more like a child’s bedroom and one like an adult’s. The third was locked, however, and had a sign that read, ‘Room under Renovations’. Because there was no more of the house to explore, we went down the stairs to the basement.

There wasn’t really an actual basement, as far as we could tell. It was a long hallway, which, after walking the entirety of, showed us a doorway, similar to the one at the entrance, which we went through, as we didn’t want to walk back. We found ourselves in some kind of snowy, forest-y area, though, when we looked up to the sky, we could faintly see a cavern roof.

I’ll spare you the details, but basically, we went through this region, a very wet, cave-like region, and a very hot area. In the hot area, we came across a laboratory, which we chose to go into. It had a large video screen, seemingly inactive, though I couldn’t tell its use. As we continued walking through the building, we saw a cluttered desk, a bag of dog food(?), and a dark hole in the wall. When we got to the hole, the door to a bathroom hitherto unseen opened, and a tall lizard woman (?) came out. She looked quite surprised to see us, but hurried over nonetheless. 

“More humans? This is quite unusual… umm… hello? Who are you?” she asked hesitantly.

“I am Alushtas, and I am not a human… which I only tell you because I don’t know why. I am an elf, This is Robin, he’s a human, and Thuzhal, whose race I never actually found out, I think,” I responded.

“And I would prefer to keep it that way,” Thuzhal said, smiling and extending his hand toward the person. “And you are…?”

“Oh!” She blushed furiously. “M-my name is A-alphys, and I’m the-the royal scientist for King Asgore.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Do you guys have any, you know…, magic?” I asked Alphys. We seemed to do a lot of questioning in these worlds, and not much else.

“K-kinda, we have magical a-attacks and the like, and fire magic, and probably other kinds.”

“Oh.” I must’ve looked really sad, because she immediately responded with, “B-but that’s okay! Here, I can improve your phones! You… don’t… have phones? Um, I can get you phones!”

She rushed upstairs up an escalator, then quickly came down another closer to the entrance. She was holding three small objects, which I assumed was a phone, and hoped her word for phone meant the same thing it meant for me, because it could be useful. It seemed that way, so yay.

“Here! I have a phone for each of you! Y-yes, I had them l-laying around… anyway, they can text, access the internet wherever, access special Dimensional Boxes, defuse bombs, and activate a jetpack! Here, t-take them!”

We each took a phone, and I immediately checked out the Dimensional Boxes. They each had space for 8 items, seemingly no matter the size, which didn’t make sense, but whatever. There were 3 boxes, which was nice, so I didn’t have to worry about 24 items taking up space in my Bag of Holding. 

“Sweet, thank you!” I said, and she blushed again. “Oh, don’t worry, I just like helping people! S-speaking of which, there was this human that came through a bit ago. Have y-you seen them? I think Toriel is coming after them, and I’m a b-bit worried.”

Thuzhal and I exchanged looks as Robin looked between us. “No, we haven’t seen anybody except a couple dudes back at that purple place,” I told her, and her eyes widened.

“O-oh! You n-need to go… I’m s-sorry I can’t help more! Now, g-get out of here!”

She pushed us out of a back door, while I protested and tried to ask her about dimensional travelling. She didn’t listen to me, and locked the door after us.

“Well, now what? Do we go after the human? Do we go see the king? Do we leave? What do you dudes think?” I asked, looking at Robin and Thuzhal, whose backs were to the lab. 

“I think I can help!” a cheery voice said from behind. I whirled around, dagger forming in my hand. A little yellow flower had popped up from the ground, and it had a face which was smiling at us.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Thuzhal asked, suspicious of the small being.

“I’m Flowey! Flowey the flower! You were just talking to that overgrown lizard, huh? Don’t listen to her, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about!” the golden flower told us.

“Um, she seemed nice, while you were insulting her. Not really the way to play the ‘nice guy’ card,” Robin interjected.

Flowey gave a wide smile, and said, “Oh, sorry. We all insult her, ‘cause she’s senile and ignorant of the world. Even nice old King Asgore cracks jokes about her!”

By this point, I was very unsettled, but decided to humor Flowey. “So, you said you can help us. How?”

“Easy! The rules down here are simple. You k i l l, o r   y o u   b e   k i l l e d.” As he spoke, his face grew ugly, into a mixture of a smile and a look of utter hatred. He sent little white bullets at us, which we tried to dodge, but some still hit us. They really hurt, and it felt like my life force itself was being sapped. I swung my dagger at him, but he popped back into the ground and back up a bit further on.

“Hope you guys have fun! See ya later!” he said, smiling, and vanished into the ground.

“That… was horrible,” I said, and both of my companions nodded. 

“We should leave and never return.” Again, they nodded.

I pulled out the staff from my Bag, held it out, and we did our thing. However, as we began to flicker out of the strange, underground world, none of us noticed the edge of a flower root curling around the base of the staff.

12

From there, we continued on our way, oblivious to our nefarious passenger. After that moment, I’m not sure where exactly he went, so let’s ignore him for now, eh?

We travelled more, were attacked, Thuzhal broke a leg, Robin scared a cat badly, almost starting an apocalypse… anyway! We picked up another passenger on another realm, though this one was like Thuzhal - a nice one, which would be invaluable later on!

The previous dimension wasn’t very exciting, and as such won’t be talked about. Only the finest highlights here! I remember something about big dogs, though, so that was nice. Anyway, back to the important one.

We arrived in some kind of stronghold. The room we were in was deserted, luckily, and there wasn’t a lot around. There were some unlocked cases that had ammo in it, which was nice, because my guns were running out of ammo. There were also a couple of… vending machines? Except, one of them dispensed different shields and healing items, and the other sold… ammo and grenades? What kind of world was this? There was some kind of human height machine, though we couldn’t ascertain its purpose. It was next to a small set of rickety stairs, which led up to the vending machines. A carpet led to the right, where a small building stood, and two entrances stood to each side of it. The building was more of a hut made of metal, and didn’t seem to serve any actual purpose.

Now that the description is out of the way - wait! To be clear, we were in a building, and the roof was not far from our heads, and pretty much everything was metal. It’s difficult to describe, as that’s not really my strong suit, but I do my best. I’m alluding to what this place ended up being, because it does exist on Earth to some extent, and so maybe you’ll figure it out. Think of it like a puzzle, or a mystery. If you fail, either you didn’t know the game (whoops, I said it was a game! There’s another hint!), or I’m terrible at explanations, or you didn’t know the specific place. Maybe you’ll realize later what I’m talking about. Maybe not. By this point, I’m not sure I really care. Anyway!

We walked through the door, and immediately were fired upon. There were bandits everywhere, and they were shooting at us. We ducked behind some metal thingys sticking up from the ground, which shouldn’t have stopped bullets, but the improbable had decided to visit us today. 

“What kinda world is this, where we don’t even get to introduce ourselves before people hate us?” Robin shouted at me.

“I know, right? At least hate us for who we are, not just because we exist. However, the fact that we simply appeared in their encampment might have to do with it.” I replied, pulling out my assault rifle from my bag.

“Don’t do anything stupid!” Thuzhal warned me, and I smirked at him.

“When have I ever done anything stupid?” I said, and peeked out from my hiding place. They just kept firing, not caring about hiding behind barriers (That was the word! I guess it isn’t perfect, but words never are). I was peeking through a small hole in the thing, and pushed the barrel of my gun through another hole in it. I aimed carefully, adjusted for the simple fact that my eye was further from the barrel than normal, and started firing. Some of them ducked behind cover, though some just stood around, and there was a big one with a body shield that didn’t need something so trivial as cover. 

My bullets didn’t seem to be harming them, however. I pulled the still-warm muzzle of the rifle out of the barrier, and told my companions: “My bullets don’t seem to be harming them!”

“Well then, try something else! Something magicky!” Robin yelled at me over the loud clamor of the guns. 

“We don’t know the rules of this place! It could go horribly, or not work, or work perfectly!” When I saw the look he was giving me, I conceded, “Of course, if they shoot us full of holes, it won’t matter whether or not we use magic. And, if it fails, maybe it’ll take them out, and not us!”

I pulled my bag of charms I had collected over in front of me, and sorted through them. I had one that summoned a lion, but there were a lot of guns, and I wasn’t sure any animal could survive long enough, plus I like animals. I found one that would explode, but I didn’t want to blow us up as well if I could avoid it. Finally, I found one that released gas that would immediately knock out anyone that inhaled, and worked through gas masks and stuff as well because magic. I readied it in my hand, glanced through the hole so I could aim, drew back my hand, and -

A humanoid figure quickly appeared at the entrance I had come through. They were slashing a sword through the air and pretty much staying in the same place, which seemed like a bad idea considering there were a lot of dudes with long range weapons. The bandits started shooting at this new and very much visible opponent, and bullets ripped through them. They didn’t flinch, and kept swinging their sword randomly, until they flickered, and disappeared. At the same time, a sword materialized in the back of the big, heavy dude with the shield, coming straight through his heart and out of the shield.

As the shield dude toppled to the floor, a person flickered into view. They looked the same as the one that used to be in the doorway, and I later realized it was a hologram, used as a deception for the actual fighter. The bandits looked toward them, confused, and the figure regarded them, then spoke:

“How are you doing? I need to kill you right now. It’s not personal.”

They suddenly flashed into action, a gun appearing in their hand. They jumped toward me with inhuman strength, turned toward the bandits, and started shooting at them. Their bullets were much more effective than mine, and quickly dispatched the bandits. One of the bandits managed to hit them, but the bullet hit a blue field that… just showed up? Like, there was nothing, then just as the bullet hit what was previously invisible, it flashed light blue.

“Um, hello? Thank you for saving us. Who are you?” I asked once all of the bandits were dead.

“My name is Zer0. I am searching for the Vault. And now, who are you?” said our mysterious savior.

“Well, I am Alushtas, this is Robin, and here is Thuzhal. We are trying to find our way back home, but so far ‘here’ doesn’t seem to help.”

“You need to find your. Way home? Might I be able. To help you in this?”

“Your words sound jilted and strange. Does that have a reason? I’m not trying to be insensitive, but I want to know,” I said, to which Zer0 started moving, agitated.

I should probably explain. Zer0 didn’t really appear human, but perhaps like a human in a suit. The suit was blue and black, with a belt, and down the legs there was a bag for holding, probably, ammo, and something was strapped to the calf, with a brace, or pad, or something on it. They had a smooth faceplate, and the head overall looked like mostly glass and metal. On their elbows, they had some kind of a spike, and they had 4 fingers (Eh, by this point it’s pretty obvious I’m bad with description. Go look up Zer0 using that computer or phone you’re using. From Borderlands 2). On their face played emotes, in this case a question mark.

“I can only speak. In haiku, I am not sure why. Part of my being?”

“Anyway, you said you might be able to help us? What do you mean?”

“There are things out there. That you will need help killing. I’m bored, something new.”

“Um, okay… we won’t be staying here unless you guys have inter-dimensional travel… are you sure?”

“Yes, I am quite sure. I thought it over quickly. I don’t want to stay.

“The search for the vaults. Is fruitless, and as such I. Shall move on elsewhere,” he finished, in his strange, haiku way.

“Are you sure? I think I’ve played this game, and you end up  finding the vault.”

“Fine, I just want to. Avoid this fate, which I have en-. -dured too much before.

“This game has three modes. Regular, true, ultimate. I’ve done them too much.

“I am bored of it. The same thing over again. Won’t continue this.

“I will go with you. Help where I can with my skills. Have new adventure.”

I smiled at them, and replied, “That sounds good. We might even be able to help fix that haiku voice, and let you speak as you want. Anyway, I guess... you’ll be joining us? That sounds... good… Oh! Though it isn’t permanent, I have a charm that might help you communicate for a bit… “ I rifled through my bag, and withdrew a specific charm. “Here you go!” I said, as I handed it to them.

It seemed to kinda soak into their hand, and their faceplate displayed an exclamation mark.

“Ah! What… happened? That was weird. I can speak… normally now? Now that I can talk normally, I can explain myself. I have destroyed BNK3R, killed the Warrior, and taken Handsome Jack off the face of Pandora way too much. I am as powerful as I will get, and killing bandits only gets old. I want something new, not involving Vaults or psychopaths. This seems worthy.”

“Okay… then… I suppose we might as well go? Not much else to do here, from what you said.”

“Yes, let’s.”

We did our thing with the staff, and left what Zer0 later told me was called Bloodshot Stronghold. What a place.

*

From there, we continued our journey, and, while each of these dimensions is important, it must be annoying to read, like “oh come on! Either say all of them or write barely anything!” Eh, whatever, I’m writing it how I want.

[dungeonmalcontent]

Thoughts on Encounter Balancing and the Meat Grinder

I’ve talked about running a meat grinder, and given a brief description of what that entails. But I want to go into detail on the matter. Below the cut there will be some visuals and ttrpg philosophy discussion for how to run good and balanced encounters in 5e d&d, primarily through the use of Roll20. This is a long post. I would put it on my Wordpress blog, but that’s getting some work and requires more effort.

So what is a meat grinder?

A meat grinder is a combat only one shot that allows for variety of play at high speed. Key aspects of the meat grinder are challenging encounter composition, terrain (re-positionable), and increased difficulty with every encounter round with the players leveling up between each. Ideally, the players have pre-planned how they want to level up their characters, have a different character ready for every level, or use a character manager tool like Aurora Builder, Fight Club 5e, or DNDBeyond (which I had my players use, because they could randomize and build widely varied characters) to facilitate fast level ups.

So how did I run the meat grinder? What does it look like? How do you even start this sort of project?

Well, let’s look.

This is the setup I used on Roll20. This is without FoW on, and I’ll zoom in on various aspects as I go on, but it isn’t that complicated. At the top we have a waiting room, where players can pick a token that speaks to them, and a “lion cage” with the tokens for each planned encounter (I deleted a few during the game I ran). Below that is the “arena,” which by itself isn’t all that special, as it was emptied out completely at the end of every encounter. At the very bottom, and pretty much never visible to the players, is the terrain room where I have shapes or tokens with terrain. My terrain was essentially just columns of various size that ran from floor to ceiling and either made walls or obstacles, but that was only because I put this together in a couple of hours.

Lets start with the waiting room.

At the start of the game, this is all the players should be able to see. There are a variety of tokens and instructions for how players can pick theirs; which in Roll20 you will then have to assign to the player (and then ideally color code as shown with the last four). All the tokens I threw on there, and I picked for variety, were pulled from the free assets on Roll20 (though I have plenty of my own, this was faster than uploading to my library). You can add on player/character names to help differentiate, but that also takes some extra time. The important part is that the players use this space to get used to what is about to happen. I also used an airlock room attached between the arena and the waiting room, just to give them a little more immersion and warning when the next round was ready, but that’s not really necessary.

Next is the “Lions Cage,” and I call it that in the spirit of the Roman Colosseum.

This is where I kept the tokens for each encounter. I had then arranged in rows with the first being at the top (which was deleted after it was beaten, but contained an Evil MageTM, two zombies, and two skeletons). I started at CR 1 (with four level 1 players), and went to CR 2 (animated armor and dragon wyrmling) and so on, following basics for balancing encounters based on CR. I will get into monster selection more later, but this is the room where I had all of that laid out. It is always blacked out for players. (I also had two spiderman PNGs and a barrel to use as variety tokens like Spiritual Weapon or familiars, they’re a running joke in my games.)

Now, the arena.

This is a big empty area. Every round I add in the tokens for the encounter monsters, the terrain, and I adjust the lighting as needed. The lighting is probably the biggest brain thing I’ve ever done on Roll20 and I encourage the use of this system for any arena or massive dungeons you build on the platform. You write out “Lighting” as well as “bright,” “dim,” and “dark.” You add this text to the background layer (along with all the boxes and things you don’t intend to move). Then you get boxes big enough to cover whatever lighting options are not in use. For bright rooms where there is enough light for all characters (save those with aversion to bright light) to see clearly, you cover up “dim” and “dark.” It’s that simple and it does so much for the players too, because it gives them actual use of their darkvision and they don’t have to ask you what the light in the room is like, they can just see. If they have disadvantage due to lighting, they can see the precedent based on the setting. It’s a good system and I am quite proud of it.

As a secondary note, FoW is interesting in this room. For after round cleanup and next round setup, it is recommended to black out the arena. When starting out a round, particularly if you are using sneaky creatures, it is advised to reveal the room gradually as the characters move about it. This is a great place to use the token lighting feature thing you get with a premium Roll20 subscription, as this feature enables rapid revealing and occluding of space in the arena based on the token’s given sight range. But that costs money. I got along just fine doing it manually.

Lastly, the terrain room.

This is just an empty space below the arena map, used to store terrain pieces. For my meat grinder I used six objects. Three squares and three circles, made to equilateral sizes with the shift function (should use high contrast colors and have both line and fill colors selected before making shapes, hence the purple and green). More shapes would have been ideal, but weren’t necessary. And shapes aren’t even required, you can add in terrain features from whatever map builder you use, but shapes are the easiest to prepare and move.

Another good option might be to add in one big solid black square to cover the whole arena and use other colored squares to represent platforms (possibly even color coding certain platforms to indicate height from a base level like the precipice of the waiting room). This adds an additional challenge to navigating the room and rewards characters with mobility based abilities like flight, or spells like spider climb. Alternatively alternatively, the room could be indicated to be submerged and the players given potions of waterbreathing, as this allows for underwater combat and aquatic monsters.

So what might an encounter look like? Here’s an idea for CR 4.

It doesn’t look that hard, honestly. Nothing in the lineup is actually even CR 4. But you also have to remember that most classes don’t get anything interesting or impactful at level 4. Level four is the designated ability score improvement level. So they aren’t going to be able handle anything much more challenging than before, even if they all take super useful feats instead of score ups (if you use those rules). The challenge of this setup is the terrain and the cube. Gelatinous cubes are a menace in group fights with small spaces, and gargoyles and werewolves have a lot of basic damage resistance and high speed.

So, suppose you open the room like this.

“The room is dark. You can see several pillars in front of you and not much else. There are vague shapes near the tops, as though they are ornamented with some statuary that you can’t quite make out. The room smells foul, like decay, and you can hear an uncomfortable squelching noise coming from further in.”

The players guess: Well, something is clinging to the tops of the pillars, and there’s some form of ooze in there. They probably won’t split up, so they can avoid getting taken out by falling creatures, and they expect to gang up on the ooze to take care of it quickly. But the cube is a tank and they have no clue the werewolf is hiding in the shadows. They are going to get ambushed, boxed in by the cube and divebombed by gargoyles. Now, if they’re smart they will take advantage of the tight spaces between pillars and act like tunnel fighters. The center middle or the bottom right are ideal for using the cube in their favor, as it will likely absorb the werewolf or careless gargoyles on accident if they don’t all have enough space. Worst case scenario, they all fail to see the cube (which I’ve made a size larger, arbitrarily), they stay in the open and split up to get picked up by big swooping maneuvers (which I would play out to the sound of Roundabout by Yes playing in the background).

So say, you run a round and the players win easily. Then what?

When the players win a hard fought battle I give them loot. One item from each killed monster, and there is usually at least one monster per player. I used the donjon random loot generator set to uncommon magic items. In the case of an easy victory you can adjust to no loot or less loot, or maybe just non-magic loot.

The players beat an encounter. I move them to the waiting room to level up and sort loot, cover the arena back up, move tokens and terrain around, and start again.

How did I select the encounters? Why certain creatures and why put them together?

The answer isn’t satisfying. Gut feelings, matching mechanics, and CR. I like thematic encounters for the meat grinder, though those themes are sometimes very arbitrary. My CR 3 lineup was themed “This looks like the dumbest and best hippie van art ever” and consisted of a gnome bard riding a gryphon and three centaurs. It used mounted combat, high speed, and mobile casting. Terrain would be sparse and likely against the walls to make crevasses for players to trap or get trapped in. If it felt like it was going to be too tricky, I could drop one or two centaurs from the encounter.

Generally speaking a creature of a certain CR is balanced for a party of 4-5 players of the same level as the creatures CR, with “boss” monsters being occasional outliers. So typically, an encounter consists of a high CR monsters (at or just above the PCs level/CR) and some fodder minion of a lower CR. Some monsters are also designed as fodder monsters, however, so putting just a lot of fodder monsters of the same CR as the players level is also an option. The beauty of the lions cage is that it allows you to also mix and match lineups on the fly, you can add or subtract monsters easily to make it harder or easier for your players. My players got wiped out by the animated armor and wyrmling, and had I used one less armor, they would have definitely survived, but it might have been too easy if they had picked up on the theme of the round (high armor, low health, so using save spells and abilities was the most effective method).

When putting together an encounter, I start by looking at the donjon creature index (another great tool you should have bookmarked) and browsing for a key creature for the encounter. This is usually the same CR as the players level. I pick one and then build up complimenting creatures from the same or lower CR. And that’s most of it.

The beauty of the meat grinder is its simplicity. It’s perfect for practicing combat balancing, getting new players used to the mechanics of combat, or running a quick one shot with little prep. You can even adjust it into a sort of tournament arc sort of narrative or a game show sort of last man standing operation (with killed players running pvp fights).

If you read this whole thing, holy cow. You’re a trooper. I hope you learned something useful or got some ideas. If you run a meat grinder of your own, I wish you all the luck in the world. It’s fun and can be very rewarding. Think of it like the infinity train (the one from Adventure Time, not the show [I haven’t watched the show and probably should]), lots of possibility—itty-bitty living space.

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG180!

- I really like how the statement really felt like a story advancing logically and through space, with its own codes; it felt a bit closer to my own nightmares, progressing, moving forwards, shifting a bit as the protagonist was forced to adapt and conform to exterior rules (which were never questioned), aware of the potential transgressions, that anything and anyone could punish them if they overstepped (the graves were listening, the angels were eager to punish, the reverend controlled the respectful pace and the words, the crowd was ready to judge, the alleys were full of danger, the dead mother was ready to attack). I really felt the dream-logic in that one, the immersion into an odd universe ruled by another logic than the real world?

… And that rule was the “NIHIL NISI BONUM” (from “De mortuis nihil nisi bonum”, “of the dead: nothing but good”) even when it was destroying the victim from the inside. Obviously, the fact that they were in a necropolis, that there were corpses haunting the living, that it was about a funeral ceremony, would point towards End; but it really felt Web and Beholding to me, too, with the idea of getting trapped in a situation and having to perform, and the sheer weight of the stares and the permanent judging?

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: “The names are carved with steady-handed reverence, and the dates do not make sense, but… [WOOD CREAKING] bite your tongue. [CHAINS CLINKING] Read the epitaphs quietly to yourself, in a respectful, solemn whisper – “loving son”, “noted philanthropist”, “honoured hero” – and do not question them out loud, for these graves… they are not silent. They are listening. Stop a moment and see the stone angels perched above you, staring down from the harsh corners of each mausoleum roof, looking out over the avenues of darkened […]. They keep their eager vigil, desperate for a comment, a word, a breath out of place against which they might strike. […] Walk faster now. Pick up the pace. For not all the tombs are silent, not all the graves are at peace. […] Don’t mention it. No point making a scene. The angels wouldn’t like it. Besides, those are the tombs with the longest epitaphs; so they must have been good people. […] The faceless gaze of each sepulchre angel fixes itself upon you, and you feel yourself turning back towards the house, though every muscle in your body screams at you to run. Instead you nod, and apologise for your lateness. [ANXIOUS, DEEP BREATHING IN THE BACKGROUND] The angels look away, and you step across the threshold. […] He leads you through the winding house towards the memorial room, the thick carpet crunching under your feet so loudly that it makes you wince, certain that it calls all attention to you. The Director’s steps are silent and dignified, the heavy fabric of his dark suit still and crisp as cold iron.[…] One hundred and sixty pairs of misty eyes follow your slow procession down the room, bile rising higher and higher with each row you pass. Fifteen left, you can make out her hair, still the cold grey you remember so vividly. Ten rows left, and you can see her mouth, those lips that hide the grin that now flashes thorough your memory. Five more, and you can see her eyes. Why are her eyes open? They are lustreless, and clouded, but still contain the cruelty you saw when she held the knife. […] He places you behind the podium, as the mourners stare at you, and you realise with a stab of agonised dread that they are waiting for your eulogy, their faces alight with hungry grief. […] Behind you, a dark shadow moves, [WOOD CREAKING] a shape that seems to slither from the coffin. [GROANING GURGLES IN THE BACKGROUND] You watch it coming closer from the corner of your eye but you cannot stop your kind words.”

(Hell Is Other People.) What hit me most in this one was the feeling of never managing to escape, the slow anguish and despair (while it wasn’t a quick pursuit nor a hunt!); the idea of having to conform to rules, of being imprisoned by other people’s eyes (“though you know that nothing escapes his eyes.”); the implacable neatness and order all around; the sudden mention of the abuse they had suffered from their mother (which… helped so much to recontextualise their dread) and the fact that even (especially) after death, nobody was ready to acknowledge it or to let them denounce it (the angels were ready to strike); the protagonist having to Perform like the others and pretend to negate what had been done to them; the fact that they saw their dead mother rise and come towards them… and couldn’t do anything about it. That crunch was AWFUL. Little apocalypse reference with the crowd (“The mourners are all lined up so very, very neatly, four chairs either side, twenty rows deep. […] One hundred and sixty pairs of misty eyes follow your slow procession down the room”), since it happened on the 160th tape… and sneaky sneaky spiders with the maths: it means 80 people on each side, and 8 eyes on each row on each side! =D

Another little thing which Got Me, too:

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: “‘If you would like to say a few words…,’ the Director commands.”

“if you would like” but “COMMANDS” (it wasn’t a choice.); the shortness of breath conveying the anxiety, starting mid-statement, which was… unsettling and indeed anxiety-inducing.

When it comes to sound: once again, Jon’s statement “created” the soundscape! It was gradual: the cries of birds were different from the ones we could hear around Jon&Martin before; then we heard the footsteps; then we began to hear the occasional wood creaking, the chains clinking, the stone scraping, the gurgles, and the crowd whispering. Big YIKES moment there:

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: “Just knock and ask to enter. Or try your best not to hear, to think nothing but good and admirable thoughts of those who wait in monuments to their own virtue. [GRAVEYARD SOUNDS AS THE WIND GUSTS, CHAINS CLINK, WOOD CREAKS] There now, a face, pale and stained with age and death and sin – no, not “sin”, never sin. [GURGLES IN THE BACKGROUND] Misjudgement. Indiscretion. Misunderstanding. Never sin. Never evil. It grins and smiles and nods its head with broken yellow teeth. It is a smile that wants you closer, wants you near. A bloated, purple tongue that tries to whisper reassurance, but can only gurgle promises that smell like sour fruit.”

… because with the chains clinking, we could see the denegation through the sounds and/or the creature potentially getting annoyed.

(- AHAHAHHA SOB that the statement’s climax was about a forced eulogy about someone who had been awful and continued to hurt the protagonist even after death… in the episode right after Daisy’s death. Daisy who had hurt Jon. Complicated relationships, complicated mix of feelings – although the mother from the statement was an “a monster, brutal and unrepentant”… while Daisy, the real Daisy cut from The Hunt, was repentant. Even Peter had made a jab about it (MAG134: “And he even brings a Penitent Thief along, in the form of your pet murderer!”).)

- Regarding sounds! I really like how we could hear Martin run or accelerate his pace thanks to the sound of his bag, early in the episode!

(MAG180) [CLICK–] [FOOTSTEPS CRUNCHING ON GRAVEL, AS THE WIND WHISTLES] [BAG JOSTLING] MARTIN: Hey, hang on! ARCHIVIST: Oh! Right you are. MARTIN: Sorry, I just… don’t want to lose sight of you, you keep… disappearing behind tombs and that. ARCHIVIST: I’ll try to slow down. [FOOTSTEPS STOP] […] [FOOTSTEPS RESUME] MARTIN: … Yeah, all right. [INHALE] Come– Hey! Hey! I said slow down! ARCHIVIST: S–sorry. MARTIN: H–how exactly does a leg wound make you faster? ARCHIVIST: I just want to get through here quickly.

Small thing I appreciate, too: the fact that Martin used to be more angsty about Jon leading and him following…

(MAG170) MARTIN: Why am I here? I… I, I fell behind. I was, I was too slow, and, and, and the fog caught up, I was… I was following, al–always following, never leading; never leading. Why did he leave me behind? Di–did he? Who we, who, who are you? Who am–?

… but also/now doesn’t hesitate to voice when Jon is going too fast for him <3

- It’s terrible and amazing how the episode managed to be both gloomy and funny, since:

(MAG180) MARTIN: Sorry, I just… don’t want to lose sight of you, you keep… disappearing behind tombs and that. ARCHIVIST: I’ll try to slow down. [FOOTSTEPS STOP] MARTIN: … Thank you. [INHALE] I really rather not end up lost in a… what did you call it? ARCHIVIST: A necropolis. It’s like a cemetery but all the tombs are above ground. [INHALE] New Orleans has a very impressive one. Or… had.

They were almost (unwillingly) playing hide-and-seek in a necropolis.

- Martin’s list of vocabulary when it comes to Jon’s activities during the apocalypse:

(MAG164) MARTIN: I don’t, I don’t feel fine, okay, and you were there a long time doing your… y–you–your guidebook, which, you know, I get it, but that place is…

(MAG168) MARTIN: Right, yes, yes, of course. You… [INHALE] You vomit your horrors. [SIGH] ARCHIVIST: [REVULSED SOUND] Uh! I’m… not sure I like that metaphor…! MARTIN: “Puke your terrors”? ARCHIVIST: … Just go.

(MAG177) MARTIN: [SIGH] It’s… It… He needs to make a statement. BASIRA: Is that like a euphemism, or…? MARTIN: Ew, no! It’s, hum… He sort of describes the place he’s in to the recorder and… Look, it’s–it’s, it’s magic Eye stuff, he can’t help it. He needs to do it, and if he doesn’t… ARCHIVIST: [FAINT GRUNT] BASIRA: He gets constipated? ARCHIVIST: Hardly! MARTIN: Actually, yeah, basically. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] BASIRA: Right.

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: No, obviously. This place is a manifestation of– MARTIN: No. Nope. ARCHIVIST: … I understand. Of course. MARTIN: Sorry, I’ve just… [INHALE] I’ve been hearing altogether too many of your statements lately, and– ARCHIVIST: Yeah, no, no, I– MARTIN: –yeah. ARCHIVIST: I, I get it. MARTIN: Just… a little break. ARCHIVIST: That’s fair enough. MARTIN: In fact, this time, when you start to… intone… ARCHIVIST: [AMUSED HUFF] MARTIN: I’m going to find a nice soundproof mausoleum, and just… just chill, with whatever horrors they’ve got lurking in there!

No respect for statements, uh. (I feel like Martin was talking even more casually than usual, early in this episode? He contracted words a loooot!)

Still glad that Martin doesn’t hesitate to say no, and that he doesn’t want to hear about this stuff! Although I’m a bit worried, still, of him… being back to removing himself when Jon gives his statement – it still really feels like at some point, Jon will come back from the statement only to discover that Martin is gone or has been attacked… ;; (We know from MAG179, and Basira sneaking on him, that Jon is unaware of what is happening around him when he is engrossed in one.)

- JON AND MARTIN WERE SO ADORABLE, GOSH?!

(MAG180) MARTIN: Maybe play a bit of “I Spy” or something. ARCHIVIST: [CHUCKLES] MARTIN: … I–I’ll start. I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with… T– ARCHIVIST: Tombs. MARTIN: … Cheater. ARCHIVIST: [INDIGNANT] I did not!

Playing lil’games!! I love how “I Spy” felt like a reference to something-Martin we had on Patreon, to Beholding watching everything, and potentially to The Web (“I spy, with my little eye(s)…”). I love that Martin was super-predictable, since going with “T(ea)”? Jon knowing him too well? Their banter, Martin’s inconsequential accusation, Jon sounding SO OFFENDED (hand-on-heart, perfect picture of Victorian offense, in my mind!). And Jon’s sense of humour?!

(MAG180) MARTIN: … Your turn. [BAG JOSTLING] ARCHIVIST: Fine. I spy, with my little eye… Literally everything. [MARTIN LAUGHS] [THE ARCHIVIST LAUGHS] [A NEARBY TOMB LAUGHS] [LAUGHTER STOPS WITH TENSE SIGHS] MARTIN: Right. [SIGH] Sorry. Forgot. [SIGH] Levity is just… off the cards. ARCHIVIST: Mm-mm! [SIGH]

Martin used to not get it (MAG088: “I don’t think I’ve ever heard him tell a joke.”), but now he sure does!! I love that Jon deadpanned and used his Serious Archivist From Season 1 voice for it, it was adorable and so silly! Their laughs were so adorable!

(… And then the seriousness struck, reminding them of where they were. Apocalypse not giving Martin a break, uh.) (But eh! Jon even makes eldritch horrors laugh at his jokes!)

- I’m a bit surprised that Martin was having trouble with what had happened:

(MAG180) MARTIN: [LONG SIGH] ARCHIVIST: How are you doing? About… MARTIN: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I’m… I don’t know. I’m–I’m not sure how to feel; just… pressing on, you know? ARCHIVIST: I do. [SILENCE] MARTIN: Do you think she’ll be okay without us?

Was it just about leaving Basira behind? Or was it about Daisy’s death? I was suspecting that Daisy having to die might be a bit of a shock for him (… since he had expressed multiple times wanting to make things “better”, and Daisy was a case of… it not being possible, with the added fact that it was also putting to mind of Jon’s own situation), with a potentially delayed response, but nothing explicit in that regard so far. He was a bit closer to Basira, and clearly upset and worried over her going solo again for a while, so it’s understandable ;; Jon had mentioned he had trouble expressing his own feelings:

(MAG167) MARTIN: Okay, so how exactly would you describe your current emotional state regarding all of this? ARCHIVIST: I… MARTIN: Go on. I’m all ears. ARCHIVIST: I feel… MARTIN: Mm–mm? [FOOTSTEPS STOP] [BAG JOSTLING] ARCHIVIST: [FRUSTRATED EXHALE] I feel… sad. [SILENCE] MARTIN: Sad. ARCHIVIST: Very sad. [BAG JOSTLING] MARTIN: Very sad. ARCHIVIST: Yes, all right, point taken.

(MAG179) ARCHIVIST: Is it… Is it awful that I wish she’d recognised me? MARTIN: Daisy? ARCHIVIST: Yeah. I mean, she was… We were friends there, sort of, near the end. We went through so much and it just… I wish I could have actually said goodbye. MARTIN: Would it have made you feel any better about any of it? ARCHIVIST: I don’t know. Maybe? It’s hard to know how I feel about… anything these days. [SILENCE] MARTIN: We said our goodbyes to Daisy after the institute. This was just… This was just dealing with all the stuff she left behind. ARCHIVIST: … I suppose.

So they’re the same in that regard. Still glad that they notice when the other isn’t talking much about what they’re feeling, and convey that it’s okay to talk about it if they want, still?

(There is not much more to say about Daisy, now, but I still hope that they’ll talk about it again… I want to feel the consequences of this death, how it hurt? It might come back when Basira returns, though…)

- Just An Archival Team Worrying:

(MAG095) MARTIN: And–and I’m glad we can help, of course I am. It’s just what he’s doing seems really dangerous. And I get that he’s worried about us. I mean, we worry about him as well. I worry. And we should just–

(MAG112) BASIRA: I’m sorry, I just… I worry. DAISY: Worry about yourself. I’m fine.

(MAG117) ARCHIVIST: I do worry about Martin and Melanie, leaving them behind, but… I– I suppose that’s– part of trusting someone, isn’t it? Letting them help how they can.

(MAG117) MARTIN: Anyway. I guess I’m just… sick of sitting on my hands, drinking tea and hoping everyone’s okay. This way I finally get to do something. It’s gonna hurt, but… I’m ready. And I want to. Also, I get to burn some stuff, so that’s cool! I just… really hope everyone makes it back.

(MAG128) ARCHIVIST: I just– I worry. You’re working for someone… really bad! MARTIN: Yes, I’m not an idiot, Jon, but it’s no… worse than working for something really bad, so…

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: … [SIGH] I’m just worried about Martin. … Christ… Every other Avatar gets to have their feelings… burned right out of them, but me? I’ve… just got to sit in mine.

(MAG142) DAISY: Melanie’s out, and… [EXHALE] Jon and Basira’re still off. Bit worried. But they can take care of themselves, you know?

(MAG180) MARTIN: Do you think she’ll be okay without us? ARCHIVIST: Oh, she’s made it this far. MARTIN: … Yeah. I just worry.

- I’m glad that Jon got Basira’s consent about it:

(MAG179) BASIRA: All going well, I’ll meet you both in London. He’ll know where to find me. ARCHIVIST: So, you won’t mind if I check up on you sometimes? BASIRA: If you must! But don’t overdo it. I don’t like being watched. ARCHIVIST: Understood.

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: Yeah, me too. But I’m… uh, “keeping an eye on her”, so…

Because dang, using double meaning like this, and using his power like this… he really sounds like Elias, lately. (On the surface – the fact that he got Basira’s consent, and that it’s genuinely for Basira’s well-being, does make a gigantic difference.)

- Jon’s leg injury was mentioned again this episode, with the fact that he was walking very fast:

(MAG180) MARTIN: H–how exactly does a leg wound make you faster? ARCHIVIST: I just want to get through here quickly.

And it made sense if reflecting Jon’s enthusiasm? But I can’t help but wonder if there is a Trick about it (like Jon’s body metamorphosing a bit after healing from injuries; or a reminder that he had recently been injured because the wound will reopen soon, or something).

- Levity, and at the same time a few reminders of what is at stake:

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: I just want to get through here quickly. MARTIN: Really? I mean, it seems pretty calm apart from… Wait. Wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no! It’s not more children, is it? ARCHIVIST: No, no, no, the necropolis is fine. Uh, I mean, well; obviously it’s, it’s… bad, i–i–it’s horrible, but– MARTIN: S–so why the hurry? Where are we going? ARCHIVIST: Er… Well… MARTIN: Oh, come on, don’t play coy. ARCHIVIST: I’m not being coy, i–it’s just, well, I, I… MARTIN: … Wait. Wait, are you excited? ARCHIVIST: A–a bit? Maybe?

Understandable from Martin to be cautious about Jon’s behaviour, since last time Jon was trying to hurry in a domain… was because the domain was absolutely awful. (I’m super fond of the way he’s nagging Jon, when suspicious? I picture him narrowing his eyes, every time.) I love and am sad at the same time about how Jon scrambled a bit to remember his moral stance (he still knows that these places are awful and wants to label them as such, wants to reject them, although he’s now made to enjoy them on some level), a bit performatively, because his attention wasn’t even focused on the domain this time around? He was entirely focused on what was coming up next:

(MAG180) MARTIN: … [SUSPICIOUS] Why? What’s next? ARCHIVIST: [EXCITED] I don’t know! MARTIN: Wh–, y– … In what way? ARCHIVIST: All the ways. I don’t know what’s next. MARTIN: What…? But, like, you, you can see “literally everything”, so– ARCHIVIST: I–I can, but i–it’s a blind spot! No idea why; I–I didn’t realise until we got closer, and I was looking at our route, but… I can’t see the area after the necropolis. None of it; it’s, it’s like the inside of the Panopticon, or, or wherever Georgie and Melanie are hiding. MARTIN: Or Annabelle. ARCHIVIST: … Or Annabelle. MARTIN: You think the others might be there? ARCHIVIST: [DELIGHTED] I have no idea! It’s a mystery! […] Right, then…! I’m done. Let’s see what we’ve got…! […] It’s beautiful… MARTIN: … It’s a trap…! ARCHIVIST: [STILL DELIGHTED] No; it might be a trap. We, we just don’t know!

And it’s so understandable? It was something so unexpected and surprising for him? I love how it felt so different and unexpected to have him enthusiastic about something, and yet absolutely understandable, because, for once… he didn’t know something. And there was no way to tell (well, no static at least) whether it was because Jon was under an influence pushing him to discover about that ~mystery~, or if it was genuine excitement because it was breaking his routine, it was so different from everything else that he couldn’t help but hope and be curious about it? Since for once, there was potentially something “better” ahead of them? … Which left poor Martin having to remind him, multiple times, that it didn’t necessarily mean good news, but could be “a trap”, something worse. It is indeed a bit suspect that Jon didn’t consider that it could be Annabelle, or hiding Annabelle, although he had mentioned that he couldn’t see her. Precautions out of the window, there was NOVELTY, there was a MYSTERY!

- Jon’s character development!! ;w;

(MAG164) MARTIN: Maybe she’s right…! ARCHIVIST: I am not, nor have I ever been “adorable”. MARTIN: [CHUCKLE] Okay, not true.

(MAG180) MARTIN: Just so you know, this… this is an adorable look on you, by the way. ARCHIVIST: [IMPATIENT] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes… MARTIN: [EXHALE] [HUMOURING] All right, then!

He didn’t reject the word, this time! … And I can only concur with Martin, Jon sounded adorable (we have to take Martin’s words for it, that he also looked it!). I think this is the most excited and delighted we’ve ever heard him? His outburst was genuine and spontaneous, not even driven by relief, this time around!

(On another hand, CRIES, because we do know since MAG080 that Jon, as a child already, was mostly drawn towards novelty (“I hated to read anything I felt like I had read before”), and Elias (fuck him) has commented about Jon’s tendency to push on and run into things (MAG092: “In a hundred ways, at a hundred thresholds, you pressed on. You sought knowledge relentlessly, and you always chose to see.”). It’s just ;; A reminder about how much Jon’s personality made him vulnerable to Beholding taking over, twisting what was already there. Wanting to see and to uncover mysteries is part of Jon. It’s Jon.) (Also cries cries, if the apocalypse hadn’t happened, Jon&Martin could just have gone travelling around the world together, and Jon would have been the most excited tourist, uh.)

- Martin and pop culture this season…

(MAG166) MARTIN: If you want to stop them and have the power to, then… then, then yeah, let’s do it, let’s go full Kill Bill! ARCHIVIST: [LOW] I, I, I haven’t seen it…

(MAG168) MARTIN: What, what happened to Kill Bill? … Jon? Jon, you said– ARCHIVIST: I know what I said, and I don’t… [SIGH] I don’t know, Martin.

(MAG180) MARTIN: [EXHALE] [HUMOURING] All right, then! Lead on Scooby, let’s go solve a mystery, woo-oo-ooh…! […] It’s fine, fine. Just… stay in this… avenue while you do it, I don’t want to lose sight of you. ARCHIVIST: Of course. MARTIN: Not when there’s a mystery on the loose, woo-oo-ooh…!

Taking on Tim’s mantle TT___TT

(I’m keyboardsmashing that he’s comparing Jon to Scooby, though. But eh! It’s also kinda cute: Martin is a dog-lover, so if he had to pick one for Jon…)

- Jon’s excitement was so contagious! And I like how we could get a feel of something being different when they came closer to the house – just the wind whirling, peacocks screaming and birds twittering, but without the usual sense of dread?

(MAG180) MARTIN: Is that… ARCHIVIST: [PLEASED] Looks like it…! [FOOTSTEPS STOP] MARTIN: … No, no– ARCHIVIST: Or yes! [PEACOCK SCREAM IN THE DISTANCE] MARTIN: It… can’t be real. ARCHIVIST: And yet! MARTIN: But, eh! But it’s… it’s… ARCHIVIST: Yeah! […] MARTIN: But it’s… It’s, it’s fine. It’s better than fine, th–there are trees! Look! Like… real trees! [BIRDS TWITTER] ARCHIVIST: It’s beautiful… MARTIN: … It’s a trap…!

* A bit “YIKES” that Martin is taking the presence of Actual Trees as a sign of a place being Fine And Well… when we’ve been haunted by Trees in Magnus. Albrecht’s tree, that he wanted “dead” (… complete with a mausoleum nearby); the tree at Hill Top Road, sealing (?) the Web box…

* “It’s fine” as opposed to:

(MAG160) ARCHIVIST: What happened? MARTIN: I–I, I don’t, I don’t know, everything… [FOOTSTEPS] It’s all gone wrong! ARCHIVIST: Help me up! [GRUNT] MARTIN: No, no, no! Don’t–don’t, don’t go outside. It’s… It’s real bad…

Truly an anti-apocalypse pocket, uh…

- So we have one domain that is not Jon’s specialty!

(MAG180) MARTIN: It–it’s like something out of a National Trust brochure…! ARCHIVIST: I–I mean, I’m pretty sure it is National Trust. It was, anyway. MARTIN: But… you don’t know for sure? ARCHIVIST: No! I can’t see anything about it. If I had to guess… Upton House, maybe? I–I mean, country houses and stately homes… are not exactly my specialist subjects…!

He infodumped about necropolises, however, and I can believe that that was just out of personal knowledge. But it’s interesting that he already couldn’t know with certainty what the house was or had been, even with Beholding powers?

If it is indeed Upton House: 1°) it’s not a Smirke building (so, interesting that the ~oasis~ in the chaos wouldn’t be from the guy who might have contributed to structuring the chaos a bit too much), 2°) they’re getting quite close to London! … And there is Hill Top Road more or less on their current way to London, it wouldn’t be a big detour. (Martin had packed maps when they left the cabin, I wonder if he’ll get an opportunity to use them?)

- I AM MELTING, DROWNING AND DISSOLVING IN JONMARTIN

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: It’s beautiful… MARTIN: … It’s a trap…! ARCHIVIST: [STILL DELIGHTED] No; it might be a trap. We, we just don’t know! MARTIN: … Jon… [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [RESIGNED] … Yeah. [INHALE] We’ll go around. [PEACOCK SCREAM IN THE DISTANCE] [BAG JOSTLING] MARTIN: No… [SIGH] No, no, no. [SIGH] Let’s, let’s check it out. I mean… obviously it can’t be how it seems but… Well. ARCHIVIST: What if it is! MARTIN: [CHUCKLE] Exactly. ARCHIVIST: A beautiful oasis, untouched by the end of the world. MARTIN: It’s got to be worth a shot, right? [BIRDS TWITTER] ARCHIVIST: … Thank you. MARTIN: [SOFT HUFF] Don’t fret it. It’s just nice to see you like this…!

(“It’s beautiful” / “You know what else is beautiful? :-)” etc.)

The fact that Martin had to be The Voice Of Reason, and tried to be cautious, but relented because Jon was too excited/curious/adorable about it ;_; It made sense for both? Jon already knew that this place was different because he couldn’t See it before getting closer to it, unlike the rest of the world; and Martin didn’t do a good job about it when it comes to the smiting, but he knows from experience that Jon can be influenced by Beholding impulses – so that he would have to stop him if necessary. It was a nice role-reversal from most of season 5 since, usually, Jon had to remind Martin of how the apocalypse worked, and to not “trust comfort”? But right now, it was Martin pointing out and reminding Jon that when they look good, things can’t be as they seem.

… I’ll be laughing for a while that Martin only relented because Jon was cute. Like, understandable! Fair! But also, Martin, please <3

(There was no static, but if they were influenced by Annabelle to come here, I’m not sure she did anything to Jon. Martin, however… making him focus on Jon’s excitement, on wanting to see him even happier? Jon has sworn that he wouldn’t look in Martin’s head and they have discussed the possibility that he could be influenced, I wonder if we’ll hear about whether it’s the case or not soon.)

- Did they think that the front of the building was kind of a façade, a décor? Like a theatre setting? Or was it about the fact that for old big houses, you generally don’t come through the giant doors (although they work!), they’re closed to public use while the functional doors are elsewhere? Awww that Martin has not enough experience with big houses to know about the latter:

(MAG180) MARTIN: So… what now? I don’t see a doorbell. ARCHIVIST: I’m not even sure this door actually opens. MARTIN: But it should, it’s the front door! [DISTANT, MUFFLED PIANO NOTES] Besides, it’s the biggest one so if it’s not, then– ARCHIVIST: I mean, maybe they expect you to come in through the café or…

(We could already hear, very faintly, Salesa playing! There were a few interruptions when they were waiting outside, I wonder if they were for the Aesthetic or if he was actually practicing?)

- Jon sounded SO HAPPY to not know things!

(MAG180) MARTIN: … [SUSPICIOUS] Why? What’s next? ARCHIVIST: [EXCITED] I don’t know! MARTIN: Wh–, y– … In what way? ARCHIVIST: All the ways. I don’t know what’s next. […] MARTIN: You think the others might be there? ARCHIVIST: [DELIGHTED] I have no idea! It’s a mystery! […] ARCHIVIST: I–I mean, I’m pretty sure it is National Trust. It was, anyway. MARTIN: But… you don’t know for sure? ARCHIVIST: No! I can’t see anything about it. If I had to guess… Upton House, maybe? I–I mean, country houses and stately homes… are not exactly my specialist subjects…! […] MARTIN: … It’s a trap…! ARCHIVIST: [STILL DELIGHTED] No; it might be a trap. We, we just don’t know! […] ARCHIVIST: I mean, they usually have a little… gift shop or something. MARTIN: Okay, so where would they be? ARCHIVIST: … No idea! [SMALL LAUGH] MARTIN: I thought you said you’d been here before. ARCHIVIST: I said I might have been, and even if I have, I was twelve. MARTIN: I’ll tell you what, it’s more convenient when you know everything. [SOUNDS OF A DOOR UNLOCKING] ARCHIVIST: [PLEASED] Oh! Guess I was wrong!

You bet that if it’s still the same when he wakes up, he’ll just be obnoxiously “I DON’T KNOW =D” about so many things <3 And he deserves to be happy about it <3

- So, at least, Jon identified the building as potentially Upton House, which he visited when he was twelve:

(MAG180) MARTIN: I thought you said you’d been here before. ARCHIVIST: I said I might have been, and even if I have, I was twelve.

So the house shouldn’t be Mr. Spider’s building (and Jon was eight), nor Hill Top Road (that Jon visited in MAG147) (… well. The new one, at least. He wouldn’t know what the pre-1974 looked like. But likely not a country house comparable to Upton House.) Still, given that Annabelle opened the door, there were a few elements reminding me of Jon’s childhood misadventure? Visiting a house as a child, and a spider behind the door… (BUT JON DIDN’T KNOCK ON THIS ONE, AT LEAST……… Annabelle opened the door without being prompted. They were taking too much time, uh.)

- Martin still wants to rely on the smiting, uh.

(MAG180) MARTIN: Get ready. ARCHIVIST: To do… what? MARTIN: What do you mean “what”? To smite them, if we need to. Wait, hang on, can you even smite people here? ARCHIVIST: I, I don’t think so.

Jon had already seemed less fond of that one ability (while for Martin… it was a potential defence, power against monsters and avatars susceptible to hurt them), I’m not surprised that he wasn’t even thinking about it… but he sure was a bit oddly relaxed, still.

It was the first indication that the area of the house itself was operating differently from the apocalypse – is Jon cut off from The Eye? Can he use any power at all? Or has he just “lost” the ability to use the new powers he got in the apocalypse – the sea of knowledge and turning someone who is feared into someone who is afraid? (MAG166, Helen: “there are now exactly two roles available in this new world of ours: the watcher, and the watched. Subject, and object. Those who are feared, and those who are afraid. And Jon, well… he is part of The Eye; a very important part. And he’s able to, shall we say… shift its focus. Turn the one into the other.”)

- I love that Jon&Martin took so long deliberating/talking that Annabelle had to open the door even before they knocked or called for someone.

(MAG180) [DOOR OPENS] [MUSIC CAN BE HEARD PLAYING MORE CLEARLY] MARTIN: Oh. Oh no, uh… [FOOTSTEPS] ANNABELLE: Good morning. ARCHIVIST: [FAINT GRUNT] MARTIN: Uh… Yes… ANNABELLE: Come on in. He’s waiting for you. ARCHIVIST: Oh. And who exactly– MARTIN: J–J–Jon. Jon. ARCHIVIST: What? MARTIN: I think… Hum… Annabelle? Annabelle Cane? ANNABELLE: Come on. He’s very excited, you know.

Hurry, guys.

Note about Annabelle: she’s POLITE when talking directly with someone!

(MAG166) MARTIN: Hello? ANNABELLE: Hello? Is that Martin?

… There had been no “Hello” to Jon in the statement she had left for him, but to be fair, Jon&co had burst into her home and talked about burning it down, so they had been a bit rude first, maybe. (… though she had written it and left it for them before they did.)

- Quite surprised that Jon apparently didn’t recognise Annabelle on sight?

(MAG123, Angie Santos) “As he told it, she was young, rail-thin underneath an oversized brown hoodie, which she kept pulled up, trying to cover up a network of pale stitches that stretched over one side of her head.”

(MAG150) MELANIE: [CHUCKLING] What? You think I wouldn’t notice if she had cobwebs down her face? ARCHIVIST: … No? MELANIE: [DEEP INHALE] That’s it, isn’t it? [EXHALE] You… you really think I’m so stupid I wouldn’t have noticed if my therapist was some kind of monster!

Annabelle’s appearance is pretty distinctive, we had descriptions of her and it involved “stitches”/cobwebs on/in her head, following her injuries from MAG069. Martin probably recognised her voice from their call in MAG166, but Jon didn’t have any reaction until Martin pointed it out despite Annabelle having such a characteristic look. Was part of her head hidden? Has she healed, or did her appearance revert to before her head injury once she got into the house? Or was Jon under influence, unable to connect the dots or notice the cobwebs? (What if Jon has actually met Annabelle before, off-tape, and wasn’t able to recognise her back then either?)

- … I love that Jon immediately went for Questions as soon as Annabelle was identified, though.

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: So… Annabelle, what are you playing at, what are you doing here? ANNABELLE: I really wouldn’t worry about that. I’m just helping out around the place a little bit. Making myself at home. You know how it is.

* Jon… It’s so typical of him, it’s very Beholding, and very Jon, and very… earnest? from him to just go for questions right away – his questions weren’t exactly tender, but he could have gone for recriminations or complains or acidic remarks about her MAG147 statements or the nagging phone calls, especially given that he has no affection for The Web in particular… but no. He went for questions.

* “Making myself at home” just like how spiders just decide your home is their home, uh. (I’m picturing a dozen boxes and bags made out of cobwebs lying around near the entrance. “Just making myself at home!” said the spider person.)

*“helping out around the place”: same as with “I want to help you, of course” (MAG166), define “help”, Annabelle, please.

- Jon was not the rudest he’s ever been, but Martin sounded way more careful and less antagonistic? He avoided directly interacting with her once he got confirmation of who she was, just answered her when she directly addressed him:

(MAG180) ANNABELLE: Good morning. ARCHIVIST: [FAINT GRUNT] MARTIN: Uh… Yes… […] MARTIN: … Jon, I don’t like this. ANNABELLE: You can relax, Mr. Blackwood. You’re safe here. MARTIN: I don’t feel it. ANNABELLE: Not something I can help, I’m afraid.

* Was the “Mr. Blackwood” a reference to their first exchange:

(MAG166) MARTIN: Hello? ANNABELLE: Hello? Is that Martin? MARTIN: Don’t do that. […] [SIGH] Look, look, look, I’m talking to Annabelle Cane, right? ANNABELLE: You never gave me your name – so why should I offer mine?

While she had allowed herself to call Jon “Jon” in her statement (with the added cruelty that Jon would read her “‘Free will’ is a funny old thing – isn’t it, Jon? Can I call you Jon? I’m going to call you Jon.” without being able to stop). Is it her sense of humour showing towards Martin’s name, reminding that he had never introduced himself properly? Would she switch to “Mr. Sims” for Jon just for funsies too? Is it a reference to Martin’s poetry pen names, or a reference to Martin lying about having a middle name (as Jon discovered in MAG164)?

(Damnit, sad that Jon didn’t chirp in with “Actually, it’s Blackwood-Sims now :|” or something like that, though! =D)

* MMMM, is her “Not something I can help” a reference to The Web not working like this (not able to force you to feel an emotion, mostly nudging you towards certain actions and letting you rationalise Why You Wanted To Do That Anyway), or does it imply that Annabelle also has less power in this house and might be cut off from The Web, at least a little…?

- Obligatory YIKES though, because… Spiders-affiliated people inviting you to ~come in~… rarely leads to anything good…

(MAG059, Ronald Sinclair) “On Sunday evenings however, we’d all gather for the evening meal and before we sat down to eat, he would remove the bright white tablecloth that covered it and we gather around the dark wood. I remember it was carved in all sorts of strange swirling designs and patterns; it felt like you picked a line, any line, you could follow it through to the centre to some deep truth if only your eye could keep track of the strands that had caught it. The centre of the table looked at first like it was simply part of the wooden top, but if you looked closely, as I did so often, you could see an outline marking the very middle, as a small square box carved with patterns just like the ones that laced their way over the rest of the table. I don’t remember how long we sat around the table those evenings nor do I have any memory of what we might have eaten. […] Then, without warning, I wasn’t waiting anymore. I had turned around, put down my suitcase, and started walking back towards Raymond Fielding’s house. I didn’t want to go back. I had no reason to go back, but I had apparently decided to anyway, because I knew that’s where I was going. After two and a half years, I was rather used to this feeling, but there was something else there, this time, something in the back of my mind – a frantic scuttling terror. It didn’t do any good, though. I was returning to Hill Top Road, no matter what I might feel about it. Choices didn’t even come into it. The door was unlocked when I returned, and the house was quiet. My eyes darted around looking for anyone who might be able to tell me what was going on, why the fine threads that pulled me through my life had dragged me back here, but I was alone.”

(MAG081) ARCHIVIST: The second-to-last page shows the right-hand door up close, the stains and the ink seeping from the edges. It is looks like it has a cut-away panel that can be opened onto the final page. “MR. SPIDER WANTS ANOTHER GUEST FOR DINNER” it reads, “IT IS POLITE TO KNOCK”. I feel my hand closing into a fist and reaching for the door, preparing to rap my knuckles on the grimy old wood.

(MAG110, Alexia Crawley) “Finally, Dexter announced that it was time for the unveiling, for the Spider, for… Kumo to make its appearance. We were all excited, as we assembled outside the workshop, but… there was a nervous energy in the air that day. It was about as cold as it ever gets in L.A., but the shiver that passed through us when he told us it was time was… something else entirely. Dexter told us the actors would see it first. He gave no reasoning for this, and silenced the outcry from a couple of the crew with a vicious glare. He then gathered up the cast and, with Brandon leading them, took them through a small door in the side of the workshop. And they disappeared inside.”

(MAG123, Angie Santos) “It was bare bones, since he’d been given no copy or indication of how it was to be organised, except for the name of the site: [STATIC] Chelicerae, which he made sure stood prominently at the top in a tasteful Sans Serif. The client had requested only a single area where threads could be posted, labelled ‘Come in’. Of course, there was never anything in there.”

(MAG136, Alison Killala) “Sometimes, I remember, he would invite people over to his studio that I was sure he hated, for screenings of his “original cuts”. I was quite… jealous of this at the time, as I’d never got such an invitation. But it was probably for the best. I didn’t… realise it back then, but… [SIGH] those guests… they never quite looked the same afterwards.”

(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “And sitting on the side of the road above it, casting a thick, angular shadow, was the squat brick structure of the old chip shop. I’d never seen it open. No one had, as far as I could tell. It was painted a dark blue, that never quite matched any colour of sky that was behind it, and had a hand-lettered sign that could still be seen covering much of the bare left hand wall, in curling, faded typeface. “CHIPS”, it said. […] I don’t really know why I decided to hide there. But assuming you’ve been paying attention, I’m sure by now you understand how little that means. Perhaps deep down… I simply knew it would be unlocked. […] A light rain began to patter down, and I, not having had the foresight to pack an umbrella, ran to it, and opened the door as quickly and quietly as I could.”

Bad, bad sign? Although it seems to be Salesa’s residence more than Annabelle’s ;;

- Uhoh, interesting that there was static and even a glitch when they crossed the threshold:

(MAG180) MARTIN: [FAINT GROAN] So, do we… follow or…? [PIANO CEASES] ARCHIVIST: I… I suppose. [FOOTSTEPS] [DOOR CREAKS] [STATIC RISES ABRUPTLY, WITH A GLITCH, AND FADES] ARCHIVIST: Oh… MARTIN: Oh, hum… ARCHIVIST: Oh. [PIANO RESUMES] [DOOR CLOSES] [FOOTSTEPS ECHOING AS THEY GO] MARTIN: [INHALE] [SIGH]

The glitch reminds me of Jon smiting avatars; there was also a slight ripping sound when the door opened in MAG160. Jon and Martin’s very light reactions indicated that they did feel something, and that entering the house… indeed meant entering somewhere different, a place that might operate following its own rules. And as they noticed right away, hunger&tiredness caught up with them:

(MAG180) MARTIN: Though… Jon, do you feel… Huh! Do you feel hungry? ARCHIVIST: I, hum… Actually, I was going to say I’m feeling… really tired…! [BAG JOSTLING] ANNABELLE: Not surprising. When’s the last time you slept? MARTIN: [YAWN] ARCHIVIST: I–I don’t know, I–I mean… weeks ago. Months, maybe.

Jon had pointed out that in the world of Fears, they didn’t need those:

(MAG161) MARTIN: You should get some sleep. [CREAKING SOUND] ARCHIVIST: I… [SIGH] can’t. I–I–I can’t, I–I don’t think I do anymore… “Sleep”. [EXHALE] How long’s it been, now? MARTIN: I don’t know. It’s not like there are days to count anymore. All the clocks have stopped, and… [DISTANT HOWL] ARCHIVIST: Well, I haven’t yet. I get… tired, but it doesn’t feel the same. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] Probably for the best. Sleep doesn’t look… pleasant. MARTIN: Nnno, it’s… it’s not. […] MARTIN: [MIRTHLESS HUFF] What about food? ARCHIVIST: What about it? When’s the last time you thought to eat, o–or even felt hungry? MARTIN: [FAINT] What…? Wha… Uh… I don’t know. ARCHIVIST: No. Whatever is sustaining us now doesn’t need us to eat. MARTIN: That… that can’t be possible– ARCHIVIST: It’s a new world, Martin, the natural laws are whatever they want them to be. And I suspect they don’t much care to keep humanity fed and watered. MARTIN: Well, that as may be, we can’t just stay here forever.

So, their bodies do feel those needs again in the house, and it seems to work… like things should normally work. No more dream-logic, physical laws working again. Salesa mentioned that they would need to eat, so it probably means Actual Food – is he cultivating some in the house’s domain?

… Given what happened soon after (Martin and Jon crashing, sleeping, and the mention from Salesa that they would rest and eat), it’s… extremely reassuring for regular victims in the apocalypse? I was fearing that, even if the world was turned back, hunger and thirst would catch up with them in one go, killing them instantly. But if Martin and Jon are able to survive this, if it’s really that they just need to rest and eat a bit to be fine, then it should be manageable for everyone else if the apocalypse were to be somehow stopped? (Which might not happen. But at least, it’s reassuring that it wouldn’t lead to “well, everyone dies anyway because, now that the world is back and working normally again, they haven’t drunk or eaten anything for months”!)

- Given how Annabelle wasn’t surprised, and was even expecting that Jon and Martin would collapse from tiredness and hunger (since she had even warned Salesa about it)… did she herself experience that when she crossed the threshold? Is it doing that to Jon&Martin specifically because they’re connected to The Eye? Did Annabelle suspect that it would happen from experience or from sheer deduction? If it’s the latter, it means that she probably has a better grasp on the apocalypse’s rules than Jon, despite him being almost all-knowledgeable…

- I. Love. Salesa. Already.

(MAG180) ANNABELLE: Well. There you go, then! Just in here. [OPENS THE DOOR] Your guests are here, Mikaele. [PIANO CEASES] SALESA: Hoo-hoo-hoo! Excellent! Come in, come in! Ah, a pleasure to meet both of you. Thank you, Annabelle! ANNABELLE: You’re quite welcome. [PIANO RESUMES] Have fun. ARCHIVIST: [EXTREMELY TIRED] S–sorry… Uh, Mikaele… Salesa? SALESA: The one and only! I must say I have been, uh… [THE ARCHIVIST AND MARTIN COLLAPSE WITH A SMALL SNORE, FAST ASLEEP] [PIANO CEASES] SALESA: [SAD SIGH] [SILENCE BUT FOR CLOCK TICKING IN THE BACKGROUND] ANNABELLE: I did say this might happen. SALESA: You did, you diiid. Well… so much for my big reveal… Shame. Ah, well. We can talk after they’ve slept, I suppose. Urgh! And had a bath. And some food. No rush. [SOUNDS OF CROCKERY MOVING] We have all the time in the world. [CLICK.]

* He was working SO HARD on that dramatic effect. Stopping the piano to quickly greet them and immediately going back to playing it. He WANTED that dramatic background during their discussion, uh. (Beethoven’s Piano Sonata No. 31 in A major, Op. 110: I. Moderato cantabile, molto espressivo => it was only the first part. He probably would have kept going until the end of the third if they had managed to start talking, just for the sheer drama of the musical background. He knew that him turning out to actually be alive was a big deal, he banked on the surprise and was ready for the drama and flourish.)

* “So much for my big reveal”, HIS SAD SIGH, the fact that he was really hoping for his dramatic introduction while playing the piano, and he was robbed. ROBBED.

… I wonder if he was acquainted with Simon? At the very least, I’m LAUGHING SO HARD at Peter: look at the people he was on good terms with! First Simon, now Salesa? Peter definitely had a type, and it was Obnoxiously Cheerful Dudes Who Like To Show Off And Make Bets.

* Salesa was not at all how I was imagining him, and yet I’m fully onboard, I love him, he sounds insufferable like Simon while being casually savage. He had laughed about the antiques business joke in MAG038! Excited child sulking slightly, but immediately having mundane Priorities.

* To be fair, Jon and Martin’s level of filth might include: mud from the Trenches and the worms, potential spores from the Corruption village, Extinction juice from the couch, some ashes from the burning block of flats, Trevor and Daisy gore… so yep. They’re dirty, and they’ve probably never changed since they left the cabin.

* Laughing about Salesa’s Luxury taste. The house is big (it’s Upton House, or Upton House-like, and we could hear that through to the echo and the length of the corridor), he was playing the piano, he mentioned a bath (not a shower!), he used crockery at the end… Is it tea. Is there tea. Is Martin getting actual tea. (Martin had mentioned that he had found actual teabags in the cabin, before leaving; could he put them to good use here?)

* Another place, another clock ticking in the background, and me thinking about Elias’s office. (Or was that a metronome, for the piano?)

* How long has it been since Salesa took residence in this house? Since the apocalypse began? Or has he been travelling too, only staying there for a bit while waiting for Jon&Martin?

* Conversation incoming with Jon, I wonder if they will mention Floyd – as one of Salesa’s old crewmates, and someone Jon plagued with nightmares.

* I’m??? Surprised and delighted??? about Salesa and Annabelle being very polite with each other and kinda chill? There seems to be a mutual respect here, I want to learn more about it! They’re on first name-basis! Annabelle was calling him “Mikaele”! From what we knew until now, only Peter had called him “Mikaele”!

* I really love Annabelle’s voice so far, too? Very fluid, air-like, slight smile tugging at the corner of her lips, and I have absolutely no idea what she’s thinking at any moment, only guessing that she might have been having fun anyway.

* Since she dropped Jon&Martin in Salesa’s care with a “Have fun”, and then chirped in again, I was picturing her making Jon&Martin enter the room, then departing… and then coming back, popping her head through the door-case for that almost verbatim “I told you so <3”.

* “We have all the time in the world.” NO, YOU DON’T… NOT WHEN PEOPLE ARE LIVING HELL OUT THERE D:

- Jon And Collapsing is otp:

(MAG128) ARCHIVIST: [WEAKLY] Statement… ends. [COLLAPSES] [CLICK.]

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: Y–yes. Just, uh… Uh, i–if you start… walking, that way, I–I–I’m sure there’ll be a door, for you. JARED: There’d better be. [FOOTSTEPS] ARCHIVIST: Y–y–yes, I, uh… I… [COLLAPSES] [CLICK.]

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: … If I… Knew… what his plan was; if I knew what Peter was doing; if I just– [WHISPERING] … Can I…? [LOW RUMBLING SOUND, STATIC RISES] [CRIES OF PAIN] [VERY SHARP SQUEAL OF DISTORTION STEADILY RISING] [NOISE OF SOMETHING-OR-JON FALLING] [SQUEAL OF DISTORTION DECREASES] ARCHIVIST: [MUMBLING] End… E–end recording…! [CLICK.]

(MAG160) ARCHIVIST: I – OPEN – THE DOOR! [STATIC REACHING A PEAK] [GLASS BREAKING] [DISTORTED SOUND] [CLICK.] [CLICK–] [CONSTANT FUZZY STATIC] MARTIN: Wake up, wake up…! Wake, Jon–Jon–JON, wake up! [SLAP] ARCHIVIST: [YELP] Uh, wha– … Martin…?

(MAG180) SALESA: The one and only! I must say I have been, uh… [THE ARCHIVIST AND MARTIN COLLAPSE WITH A SMALL SNORE, FAST ASLEEP] [PIANO CEASES] SALESA: [SAD SIGH]

And yet: extremely interesting that this time… Jon lost consciousness, but

the tape recorder kept going for a while

. It didn’t turn off the second Jon conked out. (And we could hear the passage through the domain, with the glitch, but the tape recorder didn’t click off either when they entered the house, although Jon&Martin noticed that natural laws were affecting them again; the tape recorder kept going just fine…)

- Still screaming that SALESA IS STILL ALIVE, HOLY SHEET.

Back when MAG141 had aired, I was deeply in camp “we haven’t heard the whole story, and the news of his death was only a third-hand account, no one’s seen the body, so it’s definitely suspicious and things were probably not as they seemed”. But since MAG160… happened… and the whole configuration changed, I was mostly expecting a tape or a second-hand account of what had truly happened? I wasn’t really expecting Salesa to be still around AND fine despite the apocalypse? So EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE =D

Floyd’s statement regarding Salesa’s disappearance had been riddled with oddities, starting with the content of his story: as mentioned, Floyd himself hadn’t witnessed Salesa’s death, and had only reported to Jon what Captain Gaultier had told the crew about how Salesa had ~met his end~:

(MAG141) FLOYD: Some tried to ask the captain about Salesa, but he just shook his head. He wasn’t making much sense. We managed to gather the two of them had left early to deliver the artefact, but something had gone wrong. There had been an argument. They had been betrayed. Salesa was dead. … The captain died soon after; the shrapnel trapped in his skull finally getting the better of him.

… which had felt, on a narrative level, like a way to circumvent Beholding’s compelling power (it’s not a lie from Floyd to say that he was told by someone else that Salesa had died, that’s his truth: Jon had already commented about this aspect in MAG107, about Gerry’s death: “It’s all very well, being able to get people to answer your questions, but if they genuinely don’t remember something, it’s not always as useful as it seems.”). But it was also a gigantic oddity when it came to Jon’s tape recorder:

(MAG141) BASIRA: Yeah, I heard. ‘anks. … What? ARCHIVIST: The tape recorder… BASIRA: [INHALE] Get ready. Any idea what’s coming? [QUICK FOOTSTEPS] ARCHIVIST: N–no, I’m… No, I–I don’t think that’s it. BASIRA: It’s not recording for nothing. ARCHIVIST: No, I… [STATIC RISING] … I think… [CALLING OUT] Excuse me? FLOYD: Yeah? [FOOTSTEPS APPROACH] ARCHIVIST: [INTERESTEDLY] You… FLOYD: Uh…? BASIRA: Jon? ARCHIVIST: You used to work for Salesa… […] He didn’t exactly seem inclined to volunteer the information. Besides, you said I needed to be ready for Ny-Ålesund. BASIRA: [SNARLS] ARCHIVIST: “Full power”, I believe were your words. The statement helped. BASIRA: And now he’s going to see you in his dreams as he relives that for the rest of his life! ARCHIVIST: [EXHALE] BASIRA: Because… because a tape recorder told you to do it?!

(MAG146) BASIRA: How many? ARCHIVIST: Basira, I– BASIRA: How. Many. [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: … Four. MELANIE: Jesus… ! BASIRA: Including the one on the boat? DAISY: What one on the boat? ARCHIVIST: Including Floyd? … Five. […] MELANIE: [EXHALE] Why didn’t you record them? BASIRA: Why do you think? Because he was ashamed. ARCHIVIST: No! I don’t– … I–I mean, I don’t record anything anymore, not… not really, I just… sort of assume they’ll… turn on, if it’s important. BASIRA: Well, they didn’t. ARCHIVIST: … No, I suppose not.

… since no recorder showed up to turn itself on for Jess and the three other victims, but did for Floyd, and for Floyd only, and we didn’t have any explanation about why – the only big distinction being that, unlike the others, Floyd was connected to a recurring character from statements Jon had read about, while Jon’s other victims didn’t feel connected to stories we had already explored a bit. It had also been an oddity when it came to… Jon’s behaviour by itself:

(MAG141) BASIRA: What the hell was that?! ARCHIVIST: He had information about Salesa; I thought it would help. BASIRA: Is that why you were so keen on this ship? ARCHIVIST: I wasn’t sure. Just had a hunch there was something here.

Since, at this point in time, he had already fed from Jess two weeks earlier (she would come in to file her complaint the day after Floyd’s statement) and, the way Jon later summarised it, he had mostly fed from people after using his powers (first one after waking up, second one after Melanie’s surgery, third one after the Coffin, and Jess after trying to take a peek into Peter’s plan at the end of MAG139). But Floyd hadn’t sounded like it was hunger; it had sounded like absolute curiosity.

… Was it because Salesa had found a way to go undercover from The Eye, and Jon was supernaturally drawn to knowledge hidden from it? What about the tape recorder: was it to convey to Jon that Salesa was important and that he should pay attention to him and his disappearance, or is it that whatever-is-behind-the-tapes was craving to know about Salesa specifically because he was one of these recurring figures? (For example, if Jon had been reading statements about an endless warehouse trapping people, would the tape recorder have turned on for the story of the supermarket janitor he attacked after waking up?) Or was it specifically because Salesa had done something to go under the radar, and whatever-is-behind-the-tapes knew that it hadn’t been by normal means? Or was it specifically to “narratively” prepare this encounter in Upton House?

(Damnit, now I’m going to cross fingers until the end of the series for an Agnes statement from Agnes herself, lying around on tape somewhere, or for Agnes to still be around somehow, somewhere ;_;)

- Extremely giddy about Salesa since he had been present since season 1, and we had mostly heard about him in the first two seasons!

*Pre-1994: was one of Leitner’s assistants/guinea-pigs, ran the fuck out of there with Leitner’s list of clients and slowly began to deal in spooky artefacts for money. (MAG115)

*Autumn 1999: lost his cook to a Flesh meat-grinder, which prompted him to establish his rule: “only I take stock of the merchandise.” (MAG115)

*January 2000: Vincent Yang accidentally touched an old wooden crate in Salesa’s shipping container, and got trapped inside until Peter Lukas&Salesa opened it. Salesa might have betted on his survival (? at the very least, Peter had lost a twenty pounds bet with him). (MAG066)

*January 7th 2007: Salesa gave a statement to the Institute after a Slaughter weapon he had sold to them apparently caused some damage. (MAG115)

*Spring 2010: bought an old Victorian syringe from Dr. Neil Thompson, which was said to have belonged to 19th-century physician John Snow. The team’s malarial research took a Corruption turn right after the sale. (MAG045)

*2011: Floyd Matharu began working on the Dorian; captain was Gaultier and reported to Salesa, who was travelling with them, although it felt like Salesa had the last word anyway (“Always felt a bit uncomfortable when the captain was giving orders and he was there. I could sometimes feel Captain Gaultier looking to him for support or confirmation, and that always slightly undermined our confidence in him.”) (MAG141)

*Shortly before May 29th 2011 (since Lee Rentoul was losing limbs fast): was seen “flanked by four men in dark suits, who carried a square wooden crate between them”, meeting with Paul Noriega for a transaction that didn’t pan out – Salesa departed still with the crate. Described as “paranoid”. [“four men in dark suits” would… fit… the Dark guys from D.K.N. Systems… but they were butchered by Julia&Trevor in summer 2010, so dates don’t seem to match up for that.] (MAG014)

*March 2012: “sold”/gave/passed over the Spiral Chinese pot from the Jiajing period to Andre Ramao. (MAG038)

*2014: Salesa was tired, especially after losing a crew to a (Spiral?) rug. He announced his retirement, took a few crewmembers with him to retrieve an item (“an old camera with a broken lens”) from a tiny island about a hundred kilometres south of Malé, which disappeared right after (swallowed by The Dark or The Vast?). The night of their return to Southampton, there was a big explosion when he was delivering the item with Captain Gaultier, who came back saying they had been “betrayed” and that Salesa was “dead”, before dying from his injuries shortly after. (MAG141)

Last mentions of him were from Peter… and about his relationship to Gertrude:

(MAG159) PETER: Thinking about it now, perhaps one of the reasons I lasted as long as I did was that I was, at the end of the day, predictable. A “known quantity”. I had my little patch, sending my poor lost sailors to their Forsaken end, but I rarely stepped outside of it. When I think of all those I met who travelled in this secret world we found ourselves in – Gertrude, Simon, Mikaele, even Rayner… there are plenty whose lives might well have been easier with my death, but it was rare that I strayed outside my habits.

(MAG167) ARCHIVIST: “And with that, Gertrude Robinson was without assistants. She never hired another. She worked with those that seemed useful until they were no longer so: Leitner; Dekker; Keay; even Salesa on occasion. But she never again allowed herself to trust.”

It’s true that we hadn’t actually seen any example of “collaboration” between Salesa and Gertrude; we only knew that a few items from Artefact Storage came from Salesa, and that he was aware of the consequences of giving a statement as per MAG115. We might learn more about the explosion he “died” in and the so-called betrayal from 2014! Was it Gertrude? Explosions would usually be her trademark, and she was still alive back then (she would die in 2015); depending on when it happened exactly in 2014, it could even have been after Gerry’s death. Still no idea about his connection to Annabelle, aaaaah!! … And I’m so happy that amongst the hypotheses enumerated by Jon:

(MAG045) ARCHIVIST: I don’t think there can be much doubt that the antiques dealer is the curious Mr. Salesa. He’s now turned up enough that I can no longer write it off as a coincidence, and have been having a word with Rosie about whether we can make contact with him. Apparently, he hasn’t been seen for almost two years now, with rumours in the trade running through everything from “he had a quiet retirement” to “he’s trying to dodge a jail sentence”, or even “he was shot dead in Columbia for stealing a priceless artefact from a drug lord”. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t look like he’ll be answering questions any time soon, though I have urged Rosie to keep trying.

… Mikaele Salesa DID apparently get his “quiet retirement”, if that house is any indication! =D

- There was this ~funny~ thematic of the dead haunting the living, in Jon’s statement, which is resonating in an amusing way with the fact that Salesa was presumed dead… and turned out to still be around. (Is he still absolutely human and just managed to escape the Fears? Did he turn into an avatar? End avatar? Something else?)

- … Since the house might be insulated from The Eye in some way (Jon wasn’t able to Know anything about it, didn’t think he could smite in there), that means Salesa shares something with Leitner:

(MAG080) ARCHIVIST: And the other book? LEITNER: Hardly a book. Barely twelve pages. It is entitled A Disappearance. If read cover to cover it removes one from the world. I cannot say precisely what that means, only that the assistant I assigned to it, Jacob Feng, was never seen again. I have found, however, that reading only one or two words is sufficient to hide me from the prying eyes of your master. It allowed me to talk with Gertrude in relative safety, and occasionally come above ground for my own ends. […] ELIAS: I’ve wondered for so long who it could be down there. Who was helping her. I honestly never would have guessed. LEITNER: How did you know I was here? ELIAS: I didn’t. You’re very well hidden. But Jon is not, and he failed to take the same precautions I’m sure you took for granted with Gertrude. I knew he was talking to someone. And it turns out to be Jurgen Leitner himself. [SOFT CHUCKLING] What an honour.

I’m not sure Salesa would be glad to know. (Leitner had the gall to be invisible to The Eye/Elias in The Eye’s own temple, but Salesa appears to be chilling quietly in the middle of The Eye’s apocalypse, so.)

- Obviously, there is the big question of how/why this house seems to be insulated from Jon’s powers and the Fears. Is it thanks to the camera he had retrieved on his last journey?

(MAG141) FLOYD: Then, he says he wants to send us off with a proper payday, that there’s one last job he wants us to do. Very dangerous; very… illegal. […] He was really cagey on the details, clearly being careful about exactly who he was telling exactly what. All I knew is that we were on our way to the Maldives, to a tiny island about a hundred kilometres south of Malé. No-one would tell me the name of the island, but in that area of the world, any islands that small are usually private, though I had no idea who the owner might have been. Once there, Salesa and the four crewmembers he trusted most were going to take the small boat over the island. We were to wait, and prepare to depart as quickly as possible as soon as they returned. […] I’ve gone over that memory so many times, trying to think what I might have missed. But even now, whenever I think of it, it just looked like an old camera with a broken lens. And then Salesa closed and locked the metal box, and carried it down into the hold as we started to sail away. […] A huge shape, a shadow surrounding it on all sides; getting darker, getting closer, coming up from deep, deep below the surface. It must have been huge, so large that the edge of it almost touched the ship. And had we been a few minutes slower? I have no doubt whatever awful thing emerged that night, it would have taken us as well. Something began to break the surface, as I realised the deep rumble was no longer the thunder, and I closed my eyes, and fell to the deck, gripping the rail with all my might, as a wave hit us from behind, propelling us away from it. When it had finally subsided, and I could bring myself to look back, the island was gone, and ocean was still.

We still don’t know what it was exactly: a pinhole camera, a Dark artefact, an anti-Fear artefact cancelling the Powers’ influence? Interesting thing is that he had bought the old Victorian syringe a few years prior (in 2010), which had apparently been protecting the team specialising in malarial research up until they parted with the item – all hell broke loose right after (MAG045). Had Salesa begun to get an idea about items able to protect you from a power’s influence thanks to that syringe? Does he have other items like this in his possession?

- I wonder when Annabelle and Salesa met! Did they begin to collaborate before Salesa went off to retrieve the camera? When the explosion happened, did she save him? Or only just now during the apocalypse?

I’M SO MAD THAT THERE IS TECHNICALLY A CONNECTION BETWEEN SALESA AND SPIDERS…

(MAG038) ARCHIVIST: This is not the first time Mikaele Salesa’s name has come to the attention of the Institute. Even discounting the incidental role he played in case #0112905, he appears to have something of a knack for locating objects displaying more… disconcerting phenomena. I believe some of the more bizarre things in the Artefact Storage area were purchased from him. It has been something of a– Urgh. Urgh. [CHAIR SCRAPES ON THE FLOOR] ARCHIVIST: I see you… [THUMP... THEN SOUND OF COLLAPSING SHELVES] [NOISES OF EXCLAMATION] [DOOR OPENS] SASHA: All right? ARCHIVIST: Ah… Yeah, a… a spider.

… The spider which warned the Archive team of the incoming worms invasion Happened when Jon was talking about Salesa.

I’M SO MAD.

I’m extremely surprised about Annabelle and Salesa collaborating, and at the same time, it seems thematically fitting? They’re both people of colour with a rough start in life, who were used as guinea pigs by academics attempting to learn more about the Fears through using others. Have they been collaborating for long? Are their goals aligning, or is it an alliance of circumstances? The way it was presented this episode, she mostly did Salesa a favour by bringing him Jon&Martin, but she was neutral about it…

What does Salesa want? Does he want to undo the apocalypse, has a high goal? Or did he want to invite Jon and Martin just as a distraction? He had seemed like a fair boss, looking after his crew as long as they were obeying him, and looked genuinely affected by the loss of some of them in Floyd’s statement (someone heartless and uncaring wouldn’t keep a picture of his past ship and now dead crewmembers to look at it sadly), so I’m not sure what to expect. Is he fine living in peace while knowing everyone else is suffering outside, including old crew like Floyd? (His “We have all the time in the world.” didn’t give me the impression he was in a hurry to do something to save people fast ;; They! Don’t! Have! All the time in the world! If others are suffering in the meantime… ;;)

Is this house cut off from all the Fears? What about Annabelle’s connection to The Web? What is Annabelle trying to achieve, will we learn about it right now? We tend to conflate her to her patron, but it’s true that… she could be in the same situation as Jon in that regard: influenced by The Mother, using her power when necessary but not actually going along with what it seeks?

- Interesting that Salesa has Heard about Jon and Martin:

(MAG180) ANNABELLE: Come on in. He’s waiting for you. […] Come on. He’s very excited, you know. […] Your guests are here, Mikaele. SALESA: Hoo-hoo-hoo! Excellent! Come in, come in! Ah, a pleasure to meet both of you. Thank you, Annabelle! ANNABELLE: You’re quite welcome. [PIANO RESUMES] Have fun.

… when he officially disappeared in 2014, so before Jon’s time as Head Archivist, and while Gertrude was still in tenure. Has Annabelle been updating him about them?

Really curious about next episode and what Salesa will discuss with the boys. Will he talk of Peter with Martin?

- I think there is a chance that Annabelle will have already left when Jon&Martin wake up, since they were Salesa’s guests and Annabelle was just leading and leaving them to him. Would be… extremely typical of her to remain full of secrets a bit longer (and Jon&Martin would be frustrated as heck). Or not! It could be the time to reveal her intention, it could be a joint statement, or she could stay as an observer, or she could talk with Martin.

- Anyway, cheers for Jon&Martin getting their second honeymoon (on their anniversary, for us, since the episode aired the week of September 25, the day MAG159 happened)! And Jon is sleeping! Coma and instances where he mentioned that he would nap or get some rest notwithstanding, I think this is only the second time in the show that he’s canonically taking a rest?

(MAG055) ARCHIVIST: Supplemental. I… Uh, I don’t have much to report, actually. It’s been Halloween week, which means the research department is always inundated with statements. Most of them are patently false, but the volume means that they’ve called in the Archive to assist with the overflow. It’s… been nice, actually. Disproving piles of nonsense felt good. Like… real work, not just driving myself to distraction with [CHUCKLES] conspiracy theories and paranoia. I even got a good night’s sleep.

(Although yeah, he technically passed out this time again, and he’s done a lot of that in the past already. Still, congrats, Jon /o/)

I really wonder about the logistics of it: Salesa was described as almost 6’6”/200cm-tall according to MAG045, and looking “like he could handle himself”, so he might be carrying Jon&Martin to bed? (Or I guess that many many small spiders could do the job if needed.) Will they wake up in the same room or in separate ones? Same bed? I wonder if the episode will begin with them waking up, or already having been in the house for a bit, and the tape recorder clicking on only for a big discussion… Though another possibility is that there would have been some hidden conversations having happened off-tape already.

- Mmm, since Melanie&Georgie have also been impossible to find:

(MAG164) MARTIN: Uh, oh, okay. Hum… How are the others? ARCHIVIST: I, uh… [STATIC INCREASES] Hm! I’m… I’m not… sure, I–I can’t really see Melanie o–or–or Georgie. MARTIN: They’re dead…? ARCHIVIST: No… No, I–I don’t think so; if they were dead, I– I think I would know that, I just… I–I don’t know… where they are, w–what they’re doing. [STATIC DECREASES] MARTIN: Hm! ARCHIVIST: L–London, maybe? […] At least with Georgie and Melanie, I have a vague sense they’re still alive, i–in London, and, or– Well, what was London.

(MAG177) BASIRA: Convenient. What about Melanie? MARTIN: He’s… not sure about her either? He can’t see her or Georgie. BASIRA: Dead, then. [STATIC INCREASES, THEN FADES] ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] No. Uh, not dead. Just… hidden, somehow.

(MAG180) MARTIN: … [SUSPICIOUS] Why? What’s next? ARCHIVIST: [EXCITED] I don’t know! MARTIN: Wh–, y– … In what way? ARCHIVIST: All the ways. I don’t know what’s next. MARTIN: What…? But, like, you, you can see “literally everything”, so– ARCHIVIST: I–I can, but i–it’s a blind spot! No idea why; I–I didn’t realise until we got closer, and I was looking at our route, but… I can’t see the area after the necropolis. None of it; it’s, it’s like the inside of the Panopticon, or, or wherever Georgie and Melanie are hiding.

Jon had given an explanation regarding his inability to see what was inside the Panopticon (MAG164: “The, the way this works, this… “new sight”, the knowledge is, is… [SIGH] It’s somehow wrapped up in the Panopticon? An eye can’t… see inside itself.”), we know that his inability to see Annabelle was different from Georgie&Melanie (MAG164: “That’s… weird, I, I know The Web was wrapped around that phone, but, but I can’t… see her. A–at all.”), that his inability to “know” and “see” The Web’s plans had to do with the fact that its plans were too intricate (MAG172: “Every time I try to know what The Web’s plan is, if it can even be called a plan, I see… a hundred thousand events and causes and links, an impossibly intricate pattern of consequences and subtle nudges, but I–I can’t…! … I can’t hold them all in my head at the same time. There’s no way to see the “whole”, the, the point of it all. I can see all the details, but it doesn’t… provide… context or… intention. I suppose The Web doesn’t work in knowledge, not in the same way.”). Unless they’ve been travelling too, Georgie and Melanie should be in London, so they shouldn’t be in the house if it is indeed Upton House, nor in Hill Top Road (Oxford), but we might get material to speculate why Jon can’t see them at the moment (and why he couldn’t see Annabelle) through the explanation regarding this house?

- Given that at least two of Jon’s powers are getting cancelled by the house (“Wait, hang on, can you even smite people here?” “I, I don’t think so.” + his inability to Know anything about this place)… do his other powers, such as compulsion, work in there? Will Salesa give a live statement? … Can Jon even compel in this house (since he can’t “smite”), or would it lead to a mess like MAG100 but with Jon struggling this time.

Given how he had been sustaining on fear already before MAG160, can he get sustenance from normal food while inside the house, or will he quickly begin to feel withdrawal symptoms again? Given how he had healed from injuries thanks to his powers (already in season 4, and having been hurt by Daisy last episode), and how Martin reminded us twice that Jon’s leg had been injured, would the house affect that, too – will Jon begin to crumble, without The Eye’s influence?  (Will Jon even wake up as long as they’re in the house? He had woken up from his coma in MAG121 by choosing Beholding over death…) If Jon happens to be cut from The Eye inside… ooft, it’s heart-breaking to remember how curious Jon is by himself, without any supernatural influence; he was extremely curious about the house because of not knowing anything about it, and he immediately asked Annabelle questions about her presence and plans when she was leading them to Salesa…

(I doubt the answer would be positive anyway but: they’ll… probably wonder whether the house could have saved Daisy from The Hunt, cutting her from it like the Coffin had done? ;;)

- Once again, interesting to note that, at the very least, Jon’s powers aren’t working as they did in the apocalypse, preventing him from being all-powerful inside the house… but the tape recorder remained on, when they entered, and continued to run after they had collapsed, only clicking off a bit later. If this place happens to be neutralising The Eye, it might be another confirmation that it is not Beholding behind the recordings? (But if this place happens to be neutralising/cancelling all the Fears, what would that say about the tape recorders then…?)

- Jon and Martin began season 5 in the safehouse, which trapped Jon with a false sense of security (“But we can’t stay in this cabin forever…!” “Why not? It, it’s quiet here, an–and I have you…!”); Jon’s enthusiasm about potentially-Upton-House reminds me a bit of the fact that he could get reeled in by domains… So is it another domain, which would manipulate him into wanting to stay, stopping their journey? Is it a place powered by the nearby necropolis and the suffering of others? Or is it, indeed, a place protected from The Eye and/or all the fears, without any caveat or “trick”, where Martin and Jon could indeed choose to stay… if they’d agree to abandon their quest, to let the apocalypse go on to torture everyone who doesn’t happen to be them? It could fit very well with the exploration of exploitative and oppressive systems from the series; what about the temptation of letting everything go to hell as long as Jon and the person he loves are protected in that “oasis”, in a little bubble of privilege and safety? Could they even be happy there, while knowing people are still suffering outside, and that the only people able to find a solution to undo the apocalypse might be them? Martin alluded to the children of The Dark domain in this episode (“Wait. Wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no! It’s not more children, is it?”) and learning about their situation had only strengthened his resolve to reach the Panopticon in order to do something (MAG173: “The sooner we get back to the Archives, the sooner we can put a stop to this. All of this. They just… They’ll just need to hang on a little longer.”); there is not a lot of suspense about whether they would choose to stay there or not. Contrary to what Salesa said, they don’t really have “all the time in the world” when it means that others are suffering longer in the meantime. But the temptation to stay might still be there, and it might still hurt them to have to abandon it – forming another “what if they had stayed?” scenario to twist the knife when things… inevitably go down for them before the end of the show.

(We’ll see how the house affects Jon when it comes to his Beholding-affiliation; but the Jon we saw in MAG180 was at his most excited and enthusiastic. Would Martin get tempted to protect Jon’s happiness? For Jon, the temptation to have Martin stay there might be even stronger: he had already offered Martin to stay in the Lonely house… but it was still a place of misery. What about here, if it’s a place where Martin could genuinely be safe and fine?)

Aaaaand we’ve reached season 5’s midpoint with such a big surprise! (I’m a bit sad that this one wasn’t followed by a hiatus, since we could have had a gigantic wave of fanworks&headcanons about Jon&Martin living The Luxury Life in Upton House, The SafeHouse Returns.)

MAG181’s title sure puts to my mind a few banger lines from different seasons… 83 It could be about something Tim had bitterly said; it could be about what Annabelle wanted and something she needed from Jon&Martin (and what for); it could be about Annabelle&Jon’s own forced involvement with the Fears; it could be about Salesa’s; it could be about the temptation of staying in the country house, safe and protected while the world is still forked outside. Lore-episode? If there are dominant Fears, I would say Beholding and/or The Dark?

[sleepyfan-blog]

Angry Dream

Fandom: Undertale multiverse AU

First in the series here. last here

characters and pairing: Horror!Sans, Dust!Sans, Killer!Sans, Nightmare, Dream, Dreammare

warnings: cursing, fighting

word count: 3,698

Summary: Dream finds Nightmare and they have a shouting match.

Dream felt a little bit guilty as he glances back at Sci - who’s passed out on the exam table he’d carefully put him on. But the younger skeleton would have continued to ask questions about Nightmare and… Quite possibly either called Ink or tried to follow him through the portal and… The positive spirit didn’t want anyone else exposed to the powerful and dangerous fallen guardian of negativity. His home timeline looked just as desolate and miserable as the last time he’d been here - frantically fleeing from his other half, so as to avoid getting turned into stone for another thousand stars-damned years… Or worse. Dream stared mournfully at the twisted, dead remains of the tree of feelings before mentally shaking himself. He had to find Nightmare if he was going to get better.

He turned to where the other very likely was - the tall, imposing castle that loomed threateningly in the distance and grimaced. Due to the low positivity that this AU had, he didn’t have much access to his magic - and he was still being drained of magic due to the fact that they apparently weren’t supposed to be apart from one another for a long time. Dream supposed that made sense. As they’d been created to guard an immobile tree in the middle of a largely peaceful universe. He grabbed a handful of monster candy and ate them, feeling a little bit of magical energy return to him. Sighing and trying to suppress his rising irritation and desire to just flee from the situation and damn the consequences (if he was getting weaker, surely that meant that Nightmare was too… Which was probably a good thing?), Dream teleported as close as he can to the castle. There are wards preventing people from trying to enter or leave the castle unless their magic is coded to be permitted to do so - which Dream’s isn’t.

Dream walks up to the unguarded front gates, pushing one of the large wooden doors open - sighing a little as it squeaked in a way that, were one prone to being jumpy and skittish - it would be seen as terrifying. He was pretty sure that Nightmare had tried to engineer this place to be as intimidating and spooky as possible to the hapless beings who were forced to make the trek up here. The winding path that led up to this place was littered with ominous signs of Suffering and Misery. Overdramatic asshole. He was pretty sure that at least one of the Dark Papyri guards had spotted him - not that he’d seen any of them patrolling the battlements, but as he wasn’t even trying to be the least bit sneaky - he… Needed Nightmare’s attention, apparently, according to Sci. He could distantly sense Nightmare and he was starting to feel a bit better. Stars damn it all, Sci had been right. Then again, as far as Dream could tell, the younger skeleton had no reason whatsoever to lie to him.

He walked confidently through the dimly lit hallways, his head held high and back straight - doing his best to project a sense of purposeful calm, despite wanting to be literally anywhere else in the entire multiverse. Nightmare was probably on that ridiculous throne of his, surrounded by skulls and generally being a terrifying  ass. Maybe he had mortals brought up from one of the scattered and small villages to beg for their lives for his own amusement… Again. Because he could sense non-Papyri and not-Nightmare beings in the castle, though his ability to sense others was much diminished due to the low-positivity of this world.

There were four dark Papyri guarding the door to the throne room, and they tensed up in visible surprise when he came marching into view. One of the two on the left shifted the pike that he was wielding and called out “Halt! His Darkness is currently meeting with other beings at the moment. State your name and business.”

Dream sighed and summoned his staff, twirling it idly in front of him, despite how much energy it had taken him to do so - knowing that the purposeful spike in his magic should catch Nightmare’s attention “I am Dream, guardian of Positivity. You will let me past, I need to talk to Nightmare. I don’t care who he’s terrorizing for energy, this is important.”

“His Darkness will not take kindly to someone just bursting in and demanding his attention. Least of all someone claiming to be his opposite.” The Dark Papyrus who had spoken earlier stated, shifting into a more battle-ready position. “He is in the middle of an important meeting, and-”

Dream sighed before transforming his staff into the bow that he used, notching an arrow and pulling it and the string back, levelling it at the other, saying “It doesn’t really matter what you think needs to be done. Either let me in or I will pin you by your souls to the wall and enter myself. It won’t kill you, but it will keep you trapped there for a couple of hours, which is how long it will take for the magic to dissipate. I’m not here to fight or to challenge this dark king of yours.” And he wasn’t. The very thought of trying to actually fight Nightmare sent a cold shiver down his spine. Dream had no idea if he was actually capable of doing so. “I…” He lowers his bow a little, the effort of keeping it summoned and one of his positive arrows intact taking more magic than it should. After a moment both bow and arrow flickered out of existence and he fumbled for a glamburger, directly absorbing the magic with his hands as he fought to stay conscious swaying a little.

He was not going to pass out in Nightmare’s castle and wake up in a cell somewhere, or laid out on a bed, like some sort of delicate creature, stars damn it! He was every bit the fighter that his other half was, despite everything… And the helpful healer persona that he cultivated with Ink and his collection of mortal allies. He was going to face Nightmare on his own two feet… Righteous anger filled him as he thought back on everything that had happened between the two of them and he slammed through the door - noticing that stupid ominous squeak again, even as the Dark Papyri flailed and failed to grab him. He charged through the large, spacious place, noting that there were three beings standing in front of Nightmare, each in different blue hoodies. Were they Sanses? That was irrelevant right now - though one of them seemed to have a giant crack in his skull.

Nightmare was sitting on his throne, lounging casually (having absolutely no right to look that content or stupidly handsome) saying “-and he looks…” The other trailed off, staring at Dream, tilting his head a little in surprise “Like the person behind you. Hello Dream, is there a particular reason why you’re here?” There was a knowing smirk on the other’s face, and surprised delight in the other’s aura.

The three beings standing in front of him turned - and yep, they were Sanses alright, although Dream didn’t recognize which AUs they were from. They looked startled and confused. The one with the crack in his head asked “Err… Boss, what do you want us to do?”

Before Nightmare could respond, Dream ran over to the other, yelling “YOU INSUFFERABLE, SMUG ASSHOLE. I BET YOU KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN, DIDN’T YOU?” He was glaring up at Nightmare, at the foot of the other’s throne - the raised dais it was on making it so that he would have to clamber up there to better shout in Nightmare’s face.

His darker half sighed, and first instructed his Sans minions (since when did he have Sanses?) “You three are dismissed - inform the dark Papyri guards that they are to leave this area as well. The two of us have a great deal to speak about and Dream isn’t likely to stop yelling any time soon. He’s rather unreasonable like that.”

“I’M THE UNREASONABLE ONE?! YOU TURNED ME TO STONE AND MURDERED ALMOST EVERYONE IN OUR TIMELINE, YOU- shit.” Dream hissed, rolling to avoid one of Nightmare’s tentacles as he swiped at him, having to focus on dodging the other’s attacks rather than shout at him. He was furious that he needed the other, despite all that had happened between the two of them. And he was also desperately trying to figure out if he was better enough to take a portal out of this AU if Nightmare didn’t catch him first.

“Yes boss.” The Sans with a crack in his skull responded, turning and starting to walk off.

The other two Sanses hesitated for a moment, one of them - with strange black marks on his face - drew a pair of knives from somewhere and called out “Aww… Boss, are you sure you don’t want a hand? He looks like he could be so much fun to play with.”

“Killer, leave.” Nightmare growled, his cyan eye light glowing brightly as he glared down at the other.

The three Sanses left - mostly because the injured Sans dragged both of the other two - who were shorter - grumbling “Boss said to leave, and I’m pretty sure we don’t want to get involved in this bullshit.” The other two protested a little, but didn’t seem to mind being carried off like that. The throne room doors swung shut with a dull, echoing thud.

Nightmare stopped trying to attack him with his tentacles as soon as they left, and arched a browbone at him “I am curious - I thought you decided to run away from me permanently.” Was… Was that a bit of hurt that Dream could sense in the other’s aura?

That did not make the guilt that he was feeling any better. The wrath and frustration were easier to feel and Dream hissed, livid “I only ran because you were trying to hurt me! What was I supposed to do let you turn me to stone again?”

“What, so you decided to abandon me? Then again, I shouldn’t have been surprised by that. I was never high on your list of priorities. You were so enamored by your many mortal fans who fawned over your every word and movement to ever care about what they might be doing to me.” Nightmare growled back, glaring down at him. “I’m curious as to why you’ve come back. Clearly it’s not to ask forgiveness for all you’ve done to wrong me.”

The positive spirit froze for a couple of seconds, guilt and fury warring inside of him. Of course he regretted some of the things that he’d done in the past. Of course he wished that he’d been able to save Nightmare from falling - that he had realized what the villagers were doing to him. But Nightmare had always denied that someone was hurting him - that he had just been clumsy, or had been reading while walking and smacked into something. Dream’s voice was slightly quieter, but still intense as he half-yelled “I tried to get you to talk to me about what was going on! You never told me - you always lied or avoided the subject and me for days at a time! Do you have any idea how much pressure I was under, trying to deal with all of the attention and expectations they had for me? That if I tried to pull away from them, they clung more desperately to me? I… I didn’t know it at the time, but the… The villagers had grown… Ad-Addicted to my presence. I was trying to get them b-back off a little and you were pulling more and more away from me, no matter what I tried to do to reach you! Don’t you fucking dare blame all of what happened on me…N-Not when I-I…” Dream stopped yelling, feeling something warm and wet drip down his cheekbones. He raised a shaking hand to his face and realized that he was crying. Shit.

“Not when you what, Dream?” Nightmare hissed back, his aura darkening as his tentacles started to reach for the positive spirit again “Do you blame yourself for what happened? You should, at least in part. Had you ever actually proven to me that you wouldn’t wander off as soon as things got tough or I wasn’t as pleasant as you wanted me, scampering off to your mortal worshippers, I might have told you what was really going on. Not that you would have been able to do much other than to cry at them to please stop hurting him without doing anything real to get them to stop.”

Dream flinched and took a couple of steps backwards, staring at Nightmare, feeling as if the other had physically struck him “I… I don’t… Do you r-really think that if you… You’d confided in me what they were don’t that I… I wouldn’t have actually done anything to stop them from abusing you?” His voice was barely a whisper and the tears that he’d been struggling to stop fell faster and harder. Dream felt his knees go weak and he fell forwards a little, staring blankly up at Nightmare. He… He couldn’t have been such a flighty and inconsiderate mate, could he? No - no no no. The other was trying to manipulate him into giving into his guilt and shame for failing the other. He had to stay angry “How-How fucking dare you accuse me of that!” Dream hissed, managing to wipe the tears from his face as he forced himself to stand as he glared at Nightmare, wanting an answer. His voice was starting to go out on him a little, and he tried to clear his nonexistent throat a little.

“No, because at the time I thought you to be too gentle, too delicate to be exposed to the darker nature of the beings around us. I was trying to protect you from the true cruelty that they were capable of.” Nightmare growled out, glaring a little “Did you know that I didn’t start eating the apples until after they struck you? I had hoped up until that point that your connection with them might be enough to get them to stop. Once one of them hit you with enough force to send you to the ground I knew that they were going to kill us - not that they would know that killing me would take your life as well. I was desperate and filled with the desire to protect us both when I consumed those cursed fruit. I dealt with the threat against us, and how do you repay me? You ate the last golden apple and tried to attack me.”

“I… I didn’t… I w-wasn’t… You were killing everyone! Including the beings who were trying to run away! I… I had to try to st-stop you, to c-calm you down! Not that it worked because you turned me to stone and murdered almost everyone in our timeline!” Dream hissed, coughing a little as he glares at the other challengingly.

“They weren’t just running away. They were going to rouse another, larger mob. They were going to try to take you from me and kill us both!” Nightmare hisses, his tentacles lashing out at Dream at high speed as he growls.

Dream manages to dodge most of his tentacles, gasping in shock as it wrapped itself around his waist and yanked him into the other’s lap, struggling in the other’s grip as he hissed, his voice mostly gone “Let… Me… Go!” He didn’t want to escalate the situation by using his magic… Or actually hurt Nightmare so he just struggled in the other’s implacable grasp.

“No! You’ve finally come home to me, and I’m not going to let you go!” Nightmare growled, his voice much quieter than before - and not because he wanted it to be, if the frustration in his aura was anything to go by.

The positive spirit growled back, his golden eye lights burning brightly with irritation as he suddenly leaned closer, aggressively kissing the other’s teeth, his arms wrapping around the other’s neck  and shoulders in order to bring him closer.

Nightmare kissed him back just as aggressively, his arms wrapping around his waist, his tentacles wrapping around Dream’s arms and legs, in order to pin the other in place. The lighter guardian was currently straddling his lap, and there was no way in hell that the king of darkness was going to allow the other to move any time soon.

Surprise flared from behind the door, and both of the emotive guardians shifted a little, noting for the first time that there were three slivers of eye lights peering at them through a crack in the door. Dream blushed a bright gold, but shifted a little in his other half’s lap and grip, leaning further into Nightmare, having no intention whatsoever on moving anytime soon.

Nightmare’s voice was pleasantly rough - causing Dream to shiver a little in anticipation - as he called out “I am going to give you three ten seconds to leave, or the consequences of you all watching my… Argument with my mate with be severe.” The eye lights vanished and they could hear the scrambling footsteps of three people trying to run as fast as they could while also running into two others.

Dream frowned and poked one of Nightmare’s shoulders firmly, shaking his head a little. He tried to speak, but could only manage out a creaky “NIightmArE!” before his voice completely gave out on him. He felt himself blush again and decided that kissing Nightmare would be punishment enough for being rude.

The fallen guardian chuckled softly, pulling away from Dream enough to ask - his breath warm against Dream’s lips “Hmm? Yes? What is it, darling? Unless of course, you’ve managed to yell yourself hoarse.” He teased, though he could feel his own voice starting to give out on him.

The positive spirit pouted up at Nightmare a little, huffed and nodded a little before leaning in closer and lightly nipping one of the other’s cervical vertebrae in vengeance for the teasing, causing the other to startle a little. Dream grinned a little and pulled back, smirking at the other, pleased with himself.

Nightmare’s visible eye lights brightened a little as a smirk of his own appeared on his face. One of his hands slowly trailed up Dream’s body, causing the other to shiver and squirm a little in wanting anticipation until he was cupping one of Dream’s cheeks “Well… If you want to play things that way, I suggest that we go somewhere a bit more comfortable than my throne room to continue this. Unless  you like the idea of the two of us becoming close again here? I wouldn’t be opposed to that, though I suppose I shouldn’t be so surprised. You always were shameless when giving affection.”

Dream let out a squeak of protest and lightly poked Nightmare’s chest, glaring and pressing a little bit closer to other, leaving another couple of light nips against the other’s neck, managing to get himself to say “Bed, please?” though he was unable to say much more. Was Nightmare really so much more powerful than he was that he hadn’t noticed the MP loss, and the lower energy levels? It would be something to talk about once he was able to talk in more than a squeaky whisper.

Nightmare nodded, the smirk on his face turning into a wanting smile and he teleported the both of them to his bedroom, pressing more kisses to Dream’s teeth and face. He carefully set Dream down on his feet and the two of them rushed to the bed, unable to keep their hands off of each other, grinning wildly as they pressed close, kissing and touching.

~

Hours later, while the both of them rested after reconnecting with one another, their limbs tangled around one another, Nightmare asked quietly, his face carefully neutral - though there was an undercurrent of nervousness in the other’s aura as he spoke “Are you… Are  you planning on leaving again?” There was the slightest tremble in his voice, not that anyone but Dream would have probably noticed again.

“I… I don’t want to. I want to stay by your side…” Dream answered quietly “It’s all I’ve ever really wanted… And the opportunity to wander across the multiverse.” He really hoped that Nightmare didn’t try to force him to choose between him and the ability to wander. He wasn’t sure he could make that choice and be happy with what he decided.

“I like wandering as well - and as you’ve likely noticed, I’ve acquired a couple of Sanses. Their timelines are… Bleak. In exchange for helping their people, they work for me.”

Dream’s eye lights brighten a little as he shifts closer to the other, asking quietly “What sort of things do you have them do? How do you help their timelines? Wait…” That meant that Nightmare interfered in the running of other AUs… Which, Dream could understand the temptation of. Ink said that they weren’t supposed to… But why? “I… Sorry, I don’t mean to ask you those sorts of questions while we’re cuddled up together like this, but I… I’ll admit that I’ve been curious as to what you’ve been up to since we’ve been apart.” He yawned a little and nuzzled into Nightmare a little, purring happily. He was pleasantly tired.

Nightmare stretched and yawned a little, the ends of his tentacles curling a little in a way that Dream found incredibly  endearing, and murmured quietly “I promise to explain everything… But perhaps after we’ve rested, darling? Then you can tell me what you’ve been up to as well?”

Dream nodded and snuggled into his beloved, smiling warmly “Sounds… Sounds good to me.” The two of them dropped off to sleep, a blanket draped around the pair of guardians. Neither one of them so much as twitched when Dream’s phone started ringing - and kept ringing - getting messages and phone calls from his friends and allies - including Ink.

[rylisin-art]

March Updates

Some general update journal / long post thing about what’s been going on etc

The General: Wow, I haven't done one of these in a very long time. I've certainly been a ghost lately but that's mostly because I've been trying to get my life in order as much as I can and just getting some stuff done. That means I've been online a lot less, mostly cause I've found certain things to be too exhausting or distracting. I've currently been searching for a part-time job and getting back into the workforce after 2 years of being out of it. It's hard and scary, but I'm positive I'll find something soon. Also starting to make work on learning to drive, the hard part is processing the road code book as I'm much more of a practical learner than theory... so that area is slow going, but I know once I get the learners it'll open up a whole lot more doors in regards to a lot of things. I'm also eyeing up a simple uni course for next year as something to fall back on as a safety net and trying to get more active so I can loose some of the weight I put on as a result of the medication I'm currently on. Slow progress, but at the moment everything is still baby steps. For those who don't know, the past 14 months has been incredibly shitty on my end and I've been struggling with depression / anxiety problems, along with other things I don't desire to talk about publicly. That's why I've been so absent in terms of art and general activity. Thankfully my family and a few close friends have been supportive during that time and it's really helped things. I'm slowly starting to get back into art again, woot woot. I'm also going to be attempting to do some more arty streams on Twitch now I feel I've got a good set up going. However, I've decided a lot of my personal and world / story building art will not be uploaded to my main sites, mostly due to the sticky-fingered nature of some people and the fact i got tired of having to ask people not to use them on RP forums etc. Plus theres a lot to redo in regards to that, so many things to redraw >.> I will upload some stuff like race concepts, environments, monsters etc but solid character stuff will be sneaky secret for now. A lot of what I will be aiming to upload will be general arts, studies and dipping back into some old fanart. Soulsborne / Elder Scrolls Im looking at you. So yes, hopefully I have more content and a variety to upload again soon. Teh Discord: I know I've been a huge hit and miss on there lately and it will continue for sometime. I'm not avoiding people, I'm just taking more me time and trying to get things sorted or i'm just busy and trying to focus on said things. My ability to focus has gone to poop so I get easily distracted and forget about things. Somedays (or weeks) I just don't have a lot to talk about so I'm hoping you guys understand :thumbsup: I've also had difficulty starting conversations, so if you haven't heard from me in a while I still love you, I'm just too much of a nervous / forgetful wreck to say hi. I do also have a discord art server, with its original intent to be for studies and improvement but due to the things I've stated above it's just become a casual sharing / feedback and resource sharing server. It's small and moves slow but I still love it. If you'd like to join you're always welcome to ask, but if you're looking for a great-all rounder server I highly recommend The Ink Tank. I'm super quiet there but it's a great community :> The Commissions: I know I said I was aiming to re-open around March this year, but with how things are at the moment I don't feel comfortable or ready to re-open them just yet. I may do a few unique creature / character designs here and there to sell but commissions themselves will probably re-open towards the end of the year OR early next year. I don't want to make a concrete date because things have been changing so much lately and it's easier to estimate than say "Yeah they'll be open insert-specific-date". So I'm sincerely sorry to all the wonderful people who expressed interest in them and I hope you understand. I also need to figure out some stuff with my paypal too and other things that involve numbers, as there is a lot to learn in regards to things like taxes and freelancing ; - ; As for Art trades, I am considering giving them another shot this year. We'll have to wait and see. But yeah, thats the long and short of it really. Stuffs been happening, I'm still alive but just in mega-ninja mode while figuring stuff out. Love you guys, thanks for the support and everything.

[survivoraqualand]

EPISODE 8: All The Men In This Game Are Frustrating

After their dramatic first merge Council, the players were tasked with testing their loyalty and relationships even further in a paired-up immunity challenge called Prisoner’s Dilemma. Each randomly assigned pair went on call with the hosts and had to decide privately whether to trust their partner or betray them. If both trusted each other, they’d both get a Hotel visit; if only one trusted, the one who betrayed would win two visits; and if both chose to betray, they’d get nothing. Despite the strategic rifts between many players, nearly all of them chose to trust each other in this challenge - the only ones who betrayed were Rose and Jessica, disqualifying each other from getting a reward.

Because that wasn’t enough drama, the immunity challenge was Touchy Subjects. The person who overwhelmingly got the most positive answers from the team was Jenna, who also won immunity to help make that target on her back even prettier. Jessica got most of the more negative answers, Linus got a bit of a Fabio edit, MJ was named the person who never shut up (and promptly proved that point in the team chat), and Logan was named a master pie-eater.

Meanwhile, there were several more visits to the once-again-renovated Transcontinental Hotel, where the “???” elevator button was replaced with a “!!!” button that when unlocked with the correct passcode would take players to a hidden shrine room where they received a clue that told them they must transform pearls into shells. The only ones who made real progress with this discovery this round were the alliance of Jenna, Marg, and Logan, who managed to get through the door and figured out how to convert two out of the five pearls they needed to make something else happen, though mostly by accident.

At Sea Council, the vote was shuffled around several times, with every single eligible person having their name thrown out at some point. The initial consensus was to do a split vote between Katie and Jess, but MJ, unhappy with this plan, decided to go rogue and attempt a blindside of Marg - which would have worked had Linus not spilled the beans to Jenna, causing their alliance to become frustrated with MJ and decide to all vote for Jess. Marg played their idol for Logan, unaware that the opposing votes were actually on them, but Jessica ended up going home in a 5-3 vote.

JENNA

Okay all I know right now is that somehow Katie, linden, and jess found out about the 3-3-3 vote. Mj told Jess about the extra vote on Linus which why would he do that if he wasn't trying to work with her? Someone voted Linus and wont own up to it. I told Linus to throw his vote on Jess cause i was worried about his extra vote incase his idol thing didn't work (which he did tell me about). I thought it'd be 4-4-2-1 so i am confused? Jess told me she katie got the idol from the monster, I know katie gave hers to jess last round so that's a lie. Jess told me everyone said they were planning on voting me this next round if I don't win immunity. Logan hold he never told that to Jess at all? The only person I can think that would vote Linus would be Mj but why not own up to it? I am overall very confused still but I am glad Linden left. It's all a they said they said type of vibe which makes things a lot harder. I haven't ~fully lied to anyone because I was confused on the vote and I did hope Linden would go... I'm sure it'll catch up to me I just hope I can be a ghost.

JESSICA

Last round was all over the place! I finally used my hotel tickets and I found an idol which is great. Then, despite telling Logan and Marg basically every thought that occurs in my head in this game, I hear from MJ that they are all planning to split the vote between me and Linden because people think we're a trio with Katie. I personally think this is a horrible move because Linus literally lies to every single person all day and I give Marg/Logan a lot of intel but?? Okay! So I asked MJ to please not vote for me and vote for Linus instead and he said sure. He also told me Linus has a penalty vote so even if everyone else votes for me, I won't go home because it will tie. We're thinking it's going to be 5 Linus - 3 Linden - 2 Me (and 1 Katie, but that didn't really matter). I give Katie the idol just in case I get voted out because I'd rather it stay with her! Unfortunately, Linus also had an advantage that he played and then he was safe. I originally told Katie not to play the idol on me and let's just risk it but she did so now I am still in the game and Linden is out :( 

I don't really know where to go from here because there isn't much else I can do to convince people I'm really not playing that hard slash at all. I usually only show up for ~an hour a day, talk to everyone, say yes to whatever the first plan I hear is and then that's it but for some reason people are convinced I'm the player to beat??? I told Jenna that if she tries to vote me again she will regret it FOREVER. Okay I didn't say that but I did say if I leave she is definitely out next because everyone is threatened by her. She doesn't know who voted Linus and I'm not telling her either! 

LINUS

I suspect nearly everyone will trust in this reward challenge. Jessica, Katie, Rose, and MJ are the only ones who it would benefit to not trust, and even then there’s pros and cons. Jessica and Katie probably feel a bit cornered after last round, I don’t know if I actually think they are or not, but they would have reason to feel that way and think advantages are their best path forward. MJ and Rose by extension have reason to think that they are going to be betrayed, so it would be defensive 

I also think MJ is a bit more sneaky than he’ll probably get credit for due to his inactivity, but as early as that schoolyard pick for teams he was telling Logan about a girls alliance and trying to game the ceto’s to go for girls. I’ve seen players like him before, and although he isn’t socially doing a ton, I suspect he is very invested in the hotel, probably has advantages already and would like to push for more. 

I could see Logan doing some jumping around alliance wise, but it would be showing his hand too much if he burnt trust for a mere reward. Marg and Jenna both have reason to want the other to like them right now, so it would likely hurt either of them to betray. 

I’d say odds are 

Trust Jenna (90%) Marg (90%) Logan (75%) Linus (100%) (just since I know what I did) Rose (60%) (rose should betray, but I think since she’s pretty inact she might trust just so no one holds a grudge against her and it allows her to go as far as possible). Betray MJ (70%) Jessica (75%) Katie (60%) (Katie tries to present an appearance of siding with whoever she is talking to even if what she’s saying makes no sense for them to believe her, so she could do that here).

MARG

MJ

STILL LOCKED OUT? DON'T FEAR OR FUME / YOU NEED A MUSICIAN, A PLANT, A COSTUME 

First name = the musician Genus = whatever the plant is? Appendage = wings (from the crow costume) I feel like genus has to be referring to Nelumbo nucifera even though that also refers to the lotus which granted another visit but a genus name isn't provided anywhere else in the hotel 

I think I have to inspect the sheet music at that piano like maybe a name is written on the back of it or something from the bulletin board: "It's covered in a variety of colorful sticky notes, mostly with illegible words. You can make out some of them, though, including "If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended," "F5 is the good stuff," "nelumbo nucifera," "new schedule next week," the word "RETURN" over & over, and a crude drawing of a whale." 

F5 = vending machine = ceto idol presumably seeing as u wouldnt give it to me at the time nelumbo nucifera = the lotus flower in the garden that granted another visit AND POTENTIALLY the "genus" name needed for the !!! code new schedule next week = idfk i really dont. return = see above whale drawing = see above

I talked to Jenna about this but I think F5 = Ceto idol Metal box = Proteus idol 11 pearls = sapphire idol DUNNO = 50/50 coin = found by rhea and transferred to linus Releasing the monster = one idol per team = played by jess and linden ??? = idol claimed to be found by jess but i think this is the one katie played on jess at the merge vote !!! has to be a new idol so i think the ceto idol and the proteus idol are both still in play and i think marg has the f5 one 

idk who has the proteus idol could be anyone rlly

JESSICA

One day I will win touchy subjects by saying someone's name for every answer.... that day is not today!

JENNA

I am again not really sure what to do this vote. Marg told me Logan wanted MJ out but Logan didn't mention that to me at all. MJ said he'd want Logan or Marg out but I said this round doesn't make sense for that. So MJ suggested doing a split vote and just not telling Linus, Marg, or Logan, which doesn't make a ton of sense to me either. Also why would MJ wanna do that unless he either 1. actually thought Marg or Logan voted Linus last time or 2. he has his own plan somehow?? Logan said he's worried I'm gonna be blindsided next vote which is fun. Jess and Katie told me they wouldn't vote for me if I don't vote for them this round and part of me wants to take them up on that???? But I don't see MJ working with Marg so a blindside would really have to come from Linus and Rose going with MJ or Marg. Or Logan doing it which I would hope he's not lying to me so i don't know. 

Marg is honestly playing a really good game and I could see them being the one who voted Linus last time just to cause chaos. And as far as I can tell Linus and Rose like Marg as well because they were both saying they trust Marg. Marg is worried about Logan supposedly and Logan is worried about Marg blindsiding me supposedly as well? I'm still not sure what MJ's end goal is. I got the most likely to win and biggest hero thing for touchy subjects which isn't great. And I won again which is fine but all those are more reason for people to want me out. I don't know how to explain to Marg I don't really care if I win since I've won before... Part of me thinks I should just become a ghost because that way I can help people and not worry about the vote... but it's hard cause I don't rly wanna vote out MJ or even Katie and that would force me to do that whereas if i'm just gone I wouldn't have to worry about it. I don't really want Katie to go this round, partially because she's literally getting surgery and it feels bad to vote for her when she's not even here to save herself. 

MJ wants to get out Jess with the split vote supposedly, which I do kinda believe him? But it makes me wonder why he doesn't want Katie out. Does he have some end game plan with her?? Also MJ shared a watch tower clue with me to figure out the new !!! room in the game and I got in but can't figure out the rest. I told MJ about it and I also told Marg which I'm not sure was the right move or not now but i don't know. Marg told me we shouldn't tell Logan incase Logan tells Jess but I think I'm going to now because I don't know who I should trust and if I made the wrong call on MJ or Marg I might as well risk making the wrong one on Logan too. No ones really online and I think the hard part is I don't know what Rose or Linus are thinking long term so i don't know if they'd wanna get me out or not. Anyway I'm sure I have too many confessionals but whatever! I think I'll probably tell Marg and Logan about MJ splitting the vote and see if I can convince them to let me do it with him so for next vote they have a reason to get him out and he would hopefully tell me his plan so I can keep them updated as well. I don't know if they'll go for it though I think they'll want Katie out even more.

MJ

stan jenna :)

JESSICA’S FINAL WORDS

This game has my favourite idol system ever! I love Ari and Josh and all the creativity that went into this game. 

[fordarkisthesuede]

JOURNAL 3 BLACKLIGHT EDITION REVEALED! (Part 3)

Oh boy. This is it. The final stretch.

A New Concern: “What if he wins? It is a thought to horrible to imagine, but imagine it I must. If Bill succeeds in opening the gateway between worlds, it will result in an… Odd-pocalypse? Weird-mergency? Unsual-tastrophe? No matter. If the big day arrives, coming up with a catchy nickname for it will be the least of my worries. To prepare for this worst-case scenario, I have begun stocking my old research bunker with supplies, rations, and weapons. I also tried to choose which theoretical physics books would be most fun to spend 50 years rereading, but they’re all so great I couldn’t decide!” [Picture of the Unseen Eye with the caption “Saw this symbol again recently!”]

Hiding Spot? page:  “In case of catastrophe.” [The tree leading down the bunker is shown, with a staircase winding around it to the roots, with “danger!” pointing down, ending in a rectangle with “prepare for the end” inside.] “LAST RESORT – hopefully cryonics have sustained. Watch out for Shifty.”

Page left of Security Room:  “I need to stop spending time down in this bunker. I was reprogramming my security code when I could have sworn I heard someone speaking to me. Maybe I’m just being paranoid. I suppose I was voted “most paranoid” in junior high, bt I thought I had gotten over that phase. Then again, maybe that’s what people wanted me to think:  that I wasn’t paranoid anymore so they could start plotting against me, plotting to take my precious thoughts, my MIND-thoughts! Okay, I’ve been inhaling bunker coolant for too long. Going up for some air now.”

Security Room page:  [it now says “Security Code” and has the four buttons to open the bunker highlighted and numbered.] “If I forget this, I’ll be taking a trip to the FIRST dimension!” [There’s a picture of an exit door with “don’t forget!” pointing at it.]

Bill’s Teacup page:  This one’s unusual. “One of Bill’s friends… Where have I seen him?” The face is so normal that I can’t really say who it could be. Seems masculine? I mean, my best guess is Alex, but who knows for certain…?

[Edit, 4/26/18:  I kept forgetting to fix this bit, but this is a reference to the “Have You Ever Dreamed of This Man?” hoax! Thanks to everybody that pointed it out! (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘) ]

The machine pages:  “The machine was meant to create knowledge but it is TOO POWERFUL! The device if fully operational could”

My Muse Was A Monster page:  All the eyes drawn here glow in the dark. It looks just as creepy as you’d imagine – especially the big one. It also says “Laseep”  “ELPH EM” “sit lal vero” and “rutts on eno”. This is just normal English with rearranged letters, so it says “Asleep”* “Please” “HELP ME” “its all over” and “trust no one”.

*in my defense, I was sleepy when I first unscrambled the words, and I peeked at that “Can’t Sleep!” page...guess I knew what was on my mind that night :/

Bill Cipher pages: Spanning both pages:  “If he gains physical form then all is lost!” Left page - “If he entered our dimension, what form would he take? Flesh and blood? Metal? Vinyl? Spandex? Would he be a suave, well-dressed, possibly British man in coattails? Absolutely unequivocally not. Bill is a screeching, senseless lunatic. By best guess at his physical form is something like this.” [arrow points to Ford’s idea of Bill, which is like a triangle-shaped meatball with his eye and a strange large mouth]

I love you, Alex. I really do. Getting that nod at the fandom’s general depiction of human!Bill is the greatest feelings that I didn’t know I could have - yes, we had it before, but not so directly and in a published book. It still brings that certain level of satisfaction. I’m continually amused at the jabs at it, and I still to this day love quite a few depictions of him, but more than anything I’m flattered and amazed that fan-artists can get recognition at this level in this day and age. It is truly a time to be alive. I love this book.

Right page: [the figure of the human head’s brain separated into categories reads “ego, deceit, lies, pride”.] “Counterattack strategy:  ?????? A triangle is supposed to be the most stable shape in geometry, but there is nothing more unstable than this angular psychopath. The damage he’s done to my thoughts is impossible to calculate….what havoc might he have wrought?” Underneath, Bill writes:  “Wanna know what I did last time I was in your mind, Sixer? I deleted the world “burden” from your vocabulary and replaced it with “sea otter”! Good luck next time you try to sound ominous, smart guy!”

You know, I’m surprised that Bill writes properly. You know, proper grammar, capitalization, punctuation… You’d think he’d be the one to write in all-caps, like he talks! I didn’t think about that before now. Weird, isn’t it?

Blank page next to Invisible Ink page: “I have decided to use invisible ink to keep away prying eyes. ANYONE could be watching me!”

Invisible ink page:  [the lightbulb has rays of light coming from it as well as a normal eye in the bulb. The ink pot has invisible written on it, with splatters where ink might drip from the pot. There are a series of odd symbols drawn around it as well as a few on top of the page.] “I may provide previous pages with new secrets I have learned since originally writing them, and perhaps reviewing old passages will stabilize my rapidly dwindling sanity…”

No picture, but the page where Ford goes into town has all the townsfolk’s eyes glowing. Even Paul Bunyun’s.

Hiding Places:  [doodle of journal 1] Journal 1 – Describes my first 3 years in gravity falls. Focuses on mythical beasts, geographic anomalies, and my 30-hour arm-wrestling match with a very annoying unicorn.” [doodle of journal 2] Journal 2 – The most dangerous journal! Curses, incantations & dark power became an obsession in this volume. Describes the hiding place of the mystic amulet. I buried the amulet once I learned that it corrupts your soul (and whitens your hair)!” Journal 3 – The volume I hold in my hands. Describes my embarrassing defeat at the hands of Bill and the loss of my very sanity. Also contains a pretty good drawing of a plaidypus. Will soon be bestowed upon S and hidden at the ends of the Earth (I hope).”

Hiding places page 2:  Underneath the scribbled out drawing is the picture of the momentum conserver Ford made back in the seventies. Underneath it is written “what might have been…”

Trust No One page:  “Can’t sleep!” Is written nine times, and trust no one is highlighted and circled. 

On the page next to it, it looks exactly like the show, with several spots on the odd wheel scribbled out, the sad face over the center, and “IS THIS RIGHT? I just don’t know anymore!” written beneath it.

The next two blank pages are Bill’s:  “GUESS WHO! That’s right, pal, ol’ Six Fingers just conked out, & that means Captain Bill is steering the ship! And by “STEERING THE SHIP,” I mean making Sixer slap himself over and over! HA-HA-HA! That’s right, I just wrote down the sounds of my own laughter!” [next to the next paragraph, there is a drawing of Bill pouring gasoline on a flaming planet Earth, with the strange expression of someone watering flowers and encouraging their growth.] “Now where was he? Ah, yes! Mr. Serious was saying that anyone who was smart enough to decode these messages is smart enough to get on the right side of history! And that meant joining ME, your new best friend and style consultant, Bill Cipher! All it takes is a little handshake! Ever wanted to see inside the dreams of your crush? Or crush the dreams of your enemies? Or jet someone else control your body and take the old bone-mobile for a spin? ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SUMMON ME!”

Page 2: “And it’ s so easy! Just say the words “BILL CIPHER” three times out loud, alone in the dark. Ready? I’ll say it with you! BILL CIPHER! BILL CIPHER! BILL CIPHER! See? That wasn’t so hard! Now there’s a pathway between your mind and mine. I can see everything you can see! Sixer’s about to wake up, but the business between you and me has just begun. Let’s just say I’ll see you down the road. And if you ever get a phone call from a number that says “UNKNOWN,” pick up. Your Guy on the Inside (of Your Mind), BILL”

June 1 page (aka Dipper’s starting page]: “I discovered the Author’s black light secret! I invented some invisible ink and I’m going to try to write a few sneaky – Ugh! I spilled it! Now it’s everywhere! Oh, gross! It’s all over my pants! Ugh, this is embarrassing. I’m going to go wash it off. No black light for me. Yuck! –Dipper” [True to his word, dipper spilled the ink all over the next page, and indeed the page he was writing on. It’s like 2 giant splatter marks.

Mabel’s Smile Dip page has the “Do you like me” letter!!! I’m so tempted to check Absolutely!!! BUT I CANNOT TARNISH SUCH A TREASURE!

Bipper page:   Underneath the note Bipper left is the best gift this book has given me – a caticature of Bipper. It even says “Bipper as a cat!” underneath it. All is right in the world at this moment. I couldn’t be happier. If you can, look upon that drawing and feel the joy enter your soul.

Category 11/Dipper’s page on Pacifica:  (underneath the photo of Archibald Corduroy) “Roses are red, Pacifica’s blood is blue, I read what you crossed out! I’m on to you! Start combing your hair, Brother! –Mabel” Dipifica fans are now 10x happier they purchased this book – or got to read that poem!

I’m Back page:  “I have found my old bottle of invisible ink! It was right where I left it 30 years ago – hidden inside the science fair trophy in my electron carpet room. Unfortunately, most of the ink is gone, and there’s a note on the bottle which reads: “Hey, dude! I tried to drink some of this and it made my tummy glow. Like Shimmery Twinkleheart! Ha ha! I think I’m gonna go lie down forever now. –Soos”

I’m Back adjacent page:  “What a waste! Although, I am amazed that “soos” survivied what should have been a lethal dose of ink. He must be one of the most fit and healthy men on Earth! It’s just as well – this ink did little to keep my secrets from Bill Cipher. And I may have permanent retina damage from constantly flipping the lights on and off while trying to read my own messages. NOTE TO SELF:  Invent bionic eyes. I’ll use what little ink I have left for some….private thoughts. NEW DIMENSION CHECKLIST:  

Read the past 30 years of newspapers. I wonder if whales have finally made it onto land and become the dominatnt species. Also, looking forward to seeing how advanced the lasted fax machines must be!

Catch my breath – literally! I haven’t breathed the proper combination of nitrogen, oxygen, and trace vapors in years. Air is great. Really can’t overemphasize how great air is.

Order red turtleneck sweaters in bulk.

Check out The Eurythmics’ latest chart-topper!

Invent something as a sign of goodwill towards my niece and nephew. What do kids like these days? Bionic arm-lasers? Maybe a pet Cthulhu?

ILJXUH RXW ZKDW D “VLOYHU IRA” LV DQG ZKV HYHUBRQH NHHSV. FDOOLQJ PH RQH.” [Translated with Caesar -3:  “Figure out what a “Silver Fox” is and why everyone keeps calling me one.”]

OMG

EVEN MORE PROOF THAT I LOVE THIS DAMN BOOK. THE LAST PAGE WHERE FORD WRITES:

“AN INITIATION:   to fully complete your initiation as an honorary Pines, there is one final task - to place your hand on this page, hold it while you charge up the black light and then remove your hand. See what happens? Welcome to the family! Zh’yh ehhq zdlqlqj iru brx – Stanford”

If that didn’t rip your heart out, translated with Caeser -3, the last line reads “We’ve been waiting for you.”

I’m literally tearing up. Thank you to everybody who made this book possible. I’ve never been so happy to pay over a hundred dollars for a book. It was worth every penny. And the weird nightmares I got after receiving it.

[Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3]

[thebibliosphere]

can you talk some more about Dishonoured? (is that the game?) I'm so confused but everyone seems very excited(?) about something? Sorry, my autistic ass is so confused lmao

Oh boy can I. 

Hello friend, welcome to the collective freakout that is the Dishonored fandom going “wait WHAT, OH MY GOD YES!!”

Dishonored is a stealth sneaky sneaky magic/stabby game which came out back in 2012. The premise is, without giving too much away, thatyou are the personal bodyguard to Empress Jessamine who is murdered in front of you by a man named Daud. Princess Emily is also kidnapped and they vanish into literal thin air, and you’re left behind to hold Jessamine in your arms as she dies. You are then framed for her murder and spend the rest of game trying to regain your honor, find Emily and restore balance to the Empire. How you do that is all on you. 

You can either ghost through the world on silent sneaky feet without shedding a single drop of blood and show mercy (sort of) to those who have wronged you, or you can finish what others have started and watch the world burn.

The Outsider everyone is talking about, is an ancient god entity from the Void who chooses to give you supernatural powers to aide you in your endeavors, how much you use them or how little, is up to you. It’s sort of like the immortal eldritch equivalent of binge watching a new show on Netflix. Everyone else he previously Marked is boring and predictable, but you, oh you with grief and murder and love in your heart, you could be fun. 

If you do the predicted “kill everything in your path” outcome, he’s unsurprised but still moderately entertained and thanks you for the show. If you opt not to kill anyone, he’s somewhat wryly amused that you proved him wrong, and tells you he’s enjoyed watching, and I cannot stress enough how much I LOVE the moral functioning code in Dishonored (the Chaos ranking). It is to my mind one of the only few games that boasts a truly nuanced approach to morality and how we interact with the world around us by showing us the subtle and not to subtle ways in which our actions affect the world we live in. The literal difference between a childs drawings and the fall of an Empire.

It is worth pointing out that Corvo’s actions, despite non chaotic, are not always good. He is adhering to a personal code of morality which is acted out by you the player. Mercy and honor are not synonymous with Good, just like revenge and justice are not the same thing but often mistaken for two sides of the same coin. 

There is instead a kind of poetic justice to a lot of the things he does, making them satisfying to watch, but without actually crossing the line into being “just as bad as them”. You can of course also be, just as bad as them. There are a million and one ways to make someone die in this game, and you can do it with as much or as little finesse as you like. 

If you are low chaos, ie you sneak around and find ways to complete your goals without killing anyone, the world will be…it will still be bad, but things will be a little kinder. People will be softer, they will strive to do better. More people will survive. There is less fear in the streets, people will know about a masked man, but they’ll hear the stories, yea, the whole garrison, the whole garrison put to sleep with some kind of dart—and did you hear about what the High Overseer was actually doing though??? What a monster…

If however you opt for stabby stabby murder central, the game becomes collectively harder. There will be more rats, there will be more guards who are more hostile and alert. But the good people in the game, the people who are truly good, will become afraid of you, will become twisted and cynical. And it’s fucking chilling. Like, it’s just…hhnnngh, it’s so subtle right up until it’s not it’s like a punch to the gut. I love it.

I still remember the first time I played the game and Samuel called me a bad person and that he hated me, I was like “but, but…I didn’t…I chose to be merciful! those people did awful things and I was merciful!” and then it hit me…I wasn’t. I wasn’t merciful, I wasn’t good. I still stood on the precipice over Hell and I chose to spare some people under the guise of morality and my own righteousness, while slaughtering countless others who got in my path. What made those people any less important to me than a main NPC? They weren’t. They were still People in the world I was in. And I killed them. I didn’t even try to find a way not to. I just treated them like the result of a world gone mad around me and waded through blood, like my survival meant the inevitability of their death. I treated them with the same non-thought with which the blatantly morally corrupt NPcharacters had treated me and countless others like me.

And that is some Avatar The Last Airbender shit right there. That’s Aang on the mountain and giant lion sea turtles right there. It’s Pratchett with Sam Vimes in the deep down dark holding and axe and Granny Weatherwax who stares into the depths of her soul and comes up swinging for the light. It’s wonderful and it gives me chills just remembering the first time it happened and I had paused the game to go “what…no!” and the enormity of it hit me. It completely changed the way I play the game, most games, actually. And I get frustrated with other sneaky games with supposed moral coding that don’t hold me to that same level of accountability, or don’t even allow me to try.

And then the DLC comes out and you’re playing as Daud, the assassin who killed the empress and he’s having a fucking moral melt down. He’s having nightmares about it, battling against the clock to make amends and set things right before Corvo catches up with him and kills him, and you can either play with the same ruthless disregard for life that lead you to these circumstances or…or you can tread a little lighter, a little softer. All the while knowing your life ultimately hangs in the balance. And as you the player, knowing how his fate ends depending on how you played as Corvo.

Dishonored 2 operates on the same pretenses, except it’s some years later, and you have the choice to play as either Corvo or Emily. Ousted from your home, you have to make your way to Karnaca to restore order, and defeat the people who planned the coup before returning home to reclaim the throne. How you do that? Again, that’s up to you. You can either rage and lash out in a world where cruelty thrives—you can be ruthless and merciless—or you can find another way.

I’ll be really interested to see what goes on with this new Daud and Billie (Daud’s right hand in the first game) expansion of the universe. What choices are canon and which ones are not, and how they will affect the world of Dunwall as we know it. I already have a theory about why they want to kill the Outsider, but I wont say just yet. All I know is it looks like we get to play as Billie, and I am 100% here for That.

[spectroamer]

SERVERTALE CHAPTER 4: Multiple worlds, multiple problems

Toriel is getting the pie ready. She cuts the pie in pieces and places one piece on the plate. The pie is a little bit burnt, but that still doesn’t take away the taste. Toriel goes to Fisk’s room to give her the pie. Since Frisk is still sleeping, Toriel just leaves the pie on the floor and exits the room. She goes to the doors that are blocking the exit to Snowdin. Toriel sits down at the doors and checks if Sans is there. Toriel: Sans? Are you there? Sans: yeah, tori, i’m here. what’s up? Toriel: Sans… A human is in the Ruins. She’s a young girl. Sans: really? does anyone else know? Toriel: only the small monsters. Oh and I met Blooky while I was working, he said he met her as well. Sans: did the human hurt anyone? Toriel: No. The child doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Even when Flowey attacked her, she didn’t want to fight back. Sans: i told you that you shouldn’t trust that flower. he only causes trouble. Toriel: I know, but still, I feel like there is something… more about him, that he refuses to show. Sans: you saying he has a good side or something? cuz trust me, if he has one, then i dunno about it. Toriel: I’m not sure… Sans? Can you promise me something? Sans: depends on what that promise is. Toriel: If the child reaches these doors and passes them, can you please protect her? Sans: …I’ll try my best tori. Toriel: Thank you my friend, I know that it will be more than enough. Sans: no problem. see ya soon. Toriel: Goodbye. Sans gets up and starts walking back to Snowdin. While he’s walking, he notices that Error is back, but this time, he’s at the middle of the path. Sans: error, what are you doing here? weren’t you tracking that x-event thing you told me about? Error: i wAs, b-but thE whOle s-sitUation gOt me i-inSpired. Sans finds the way error said that suspicious so he gets ready for an attack, but Error notices. Error: d-don’T worRy, I didn’t m-mean it liKe t-that. I saW t-the flaw iN tHeir pLans. Sans: and who is it that you’re talking about? For the first time, Error sounded completely normal. Error: All of them.  Error uses the code to create a picture of everyone he’s talking about. He points to the window where Cross is. Error: hEre we h-have tHe maIn h-hero… oR v-villain, i’M not s-sure yet. All hE e-ever wAnted is tO h-have a noRmal world, bUt h-he gOt ca-carried away, n-naive. tHat’s w-When this chAra tOok o-over. bUt, hE dOesn’t haVe a woRld t-to crEate, He h-has a poi\nt tO proVe. ThAn we haVe I-ink. Our kn-knight iN shiNy arMour, bUt witH a-a sElfish heArt. hE doesn’T caRe w-whAt happEns to tHe v-Ictims. They’Re a-all jUst colLateral d-damage neceSsary for b-building art for hIm. anD hEre w-we haVe D-dream aNd hIs b-broTher niGhtmAre. yoU cAn t-tell by tHeir nn-namEs tHat they’re a dYnamIc d-duo. aNd at t-thE end wE haVe a-all thE smaLL p-pawns f-fRom theIr Aus t-that arE getting thrOwn i-in thE chaoS. Anyway, i d-didn’T comE h-herE to gIve you aN i-introductIon s-stoRy. As i a-alreaDy tolD y-you, thEir plaN is f-flawed. They’rE moVing thE pArts of cOde, daMaging iT and makIng it u-unstaBle whIle d-doing sO. I tHink i gOt a solUtion f-for tHat p-proBlem. I-nstead cUting out the c-code, i-i’m goNna copPy it, whIch will p-prEvent anY damaGe f-from beIng m-made. T-that’s whY i’M herE. Sans: ok, i see where you’re getting at and i won’t get in your way, but if you even think of tou- Error: d-dOn’t worrY aBout p-papYrus, a-after aLl, yOu can’T miSs soMeone you’Ve neVer haD. Sans: wait. you don’t have a brother? Error: i d-dOn’t h-have anyonE. tHats w-why i’m tRying tO recReatE yoUr c-code. if i s-sucCeed, tHe a-anti vOid won’T be eMpty a-anymOre. aNd if i d-don’t, i caN a-alwaYs erasE tHe c-copies. Sans: i understand. i’ll help you out in any way i can. Error: tHanks, b-but theRe’s no neEd for t-that. Sans: well… good luck then. Error: yoU knoW w-what? i tHink i-i’m gonNa caLl you BIOS from nOw on. Sans: ok… Error opens a portal to the anti void. Error: anD r-remember, hUmanity is n-not as baD as yoU thInk i-it is. doN’t be afRaid t-to relY oN it w-when tHe tiMe comeS. Before Sans can say anything, Error already walks through and closes the portal. Sans: these conversations just keep getting better and better. 2 hours later Sentinels of the ancient’s HQ, Ebott city Ramirez is looking through the latest city reports, when a thug runs in the room, clearly tired form running. Thug: Boss! Ramirez: What is it? Thug: We have… a reported… break in… at the computer warehouse. Ramirez: How do you know that? Thug: A scout… says he say 2 cops investigating the area, using radios, he believes that someone was in. Ramirez: Who was in? who are the cops. Thug: We don’t know who it was, but the scout identified one of the cops. It was officer Lopez. Ramirez: I don’t have the time to go there myself, tell Cobra to send a squad there, the objective is finding the cameras and checking if someone entered the digital realm, not fighting cops. Thug: Yes, sir! The thug does as ordered and looks for commander Cobra. Meanwhile, Ne is listening in on their conversations from a nearby rooftop using hidden cameras he placed a few weeks ago. Ne: So someone was sneaky enough to get past the cops and Ramirez wants to find out what happened. Looks like I have a race to win. Ne jumps down to the ground and creates his motorcycle using magic. Ne: Lets break some speed limits! Ne pulls the handlebar, gaining speed and goes around and between cars on the road. The police already knows about him and they don’t want to waste time on trying to chase him, so he has an easy trip. After a minute of driving, he is at the warehouse. Ne: Ok, let’s see what kind of footage i can find here. They should really upgrade their security here, but still, it just makes things easier for me. Ne finds the recordings and starts watching them. He sees Frisk entering the warehouse, her hiding from the policemen and finally, her entering the digital realm. Ne: Frisk, what the hell did you do kid? I have to delete this before those idiots get here… Actually, I could have some fun here. His visor light turns into a smiley face for a second. He transfers all of the recordings to his helmet’s OS and takes USB drive that he found next to the computer. Just as he was getting ready to go, he sees 4 thugs getting out of a car. One of them has a 9mm, second guy has an baseball bat and the other two have combat knives. Ne starts to laugh. Ne: What is this, amateur hour? I expected something more chalenging, like assault rifles, explosives, or anything… He points to their equipment Ne: better than that. Thug: We don’t need rifles or bombs to take you down! Ne: It’s ok, I understand that there were money losses lately. The thugs are clearly mad now. Thug: Enough with the talking, lets just kill this fool. The thug with the 9mm starts firing at Ne, but he blocks all of the bullets with his magic enforced panels. When the gunman is out of ammo, Ne dashes towards him and knocks him out with one punch. The thug with the bat tries to hit his head, but Ne ducks under it and kicks the thug, making the guy loose balance, and fall to the ground. The two thugs armed with knives attack him at the same time, with one of them trying to cut his stomach, while the other one tries to stab his neck and they both miss, because Ne phase shifted above them, hitting the both with the neon energy he fired from his hands and knocking them out. The guy with the baseball bat tries to get up, still stunned from the kick, but is knocked out as well, by another kick to the head. Ne: well that was fun. Lets do that another time. Ok, now, lets get these guys into a nice wild goose chase. He looks at the computer and the small bag Frisk left when she was teleported. Ne: Whatever crazy plan you came up with, I hope you know what you’re doing Frisk.   Frisk is starting to wake up. She sees a pie on a plate. Chara is awake as well. Frisk: Good morning. How did you sleep? Chara: I didn’t. Frisk: what? Chara: It probably has something to do with the fact that I’m a ghost. Frisk: So what did you do the whole night? Chara: Mostly nothing. I was just looking around, listening to Toriel passing by and guarding you. Frisk: Guarding me? Pfft, what were you expecting to happen? Chara: I dunno, maybe a monster would get in the room and try to attack you. Frisk: And how were you planing to protect me? Chara: Well that ghost saw me, didn’t he? That means i can probably fight ghosts and if the intruder is an other type of monster, I would just wake you up. Frisk: And I’m gonna pretend that you staring at me the whole night isn’t weird. Chara: Exactly. Frisk gets out of bed and grabs the plate with the pie. There’s a fork in it. She takes the fork and tries the pie. It’s still warm and very delicious. Frisk: How is it so warm? Chara: Probably fire magic. She still makes it as perfect as she used to. Frisk: Wait. You can taste what I’m eating? Chara: Looks like it. Frisk finishes eating the pie and goes to explore the house. She starts with the rest of the hallway. When she gets to the mirror at the end of the room, Chara just says “It’s you”. Frisk continues to go and find Toriel. Toriel is sitting in a chair in the living room, reading a book.  Toriel: Up already, I see? Um, I want you to know how glad I am to have someone here. There are so many old books I want to share. I want to show you my favorite bug-hunting spot. I’ve also prepared a curriculum for your education. This may come as a surprise to you… But I have always wanted to be a teacher. … actually, perhaps that isn’t very surprising. STILL, I am glad to have you living here. Oh, did you want something? What is it? Chara: Oh, this is going to be hard to explain. Frisk: Toriel? I am very thankful for the home and food you gave me and for everything else, but I need to continue going through the Computerworld and get back home. Toriel: What? This… this Is your home now. Um… would you like to hear about this book I am reading? It is called “72 Uses for Snails.” How about it? Frisk: Sure… I guess. Toriel: Here is an exciting snail fact. Did you know that snails… Sometimes flip their digestive systems as they mature? Interesting. Frisk: Yeah… it is. Chara: This is bad. She isn’t going to let you go. Frisk: Toriel, I really need to continue traveling to the next area. Toriel: … I have to do something. Stay here. Toriel gets up from her chair and starts walking way faster than normal to the room that separates Ruins from Snowdin. Chara: Oh, no, I know what she’s trying to do. Quickly, go after her! Frisk starts running after Toriel. She finds her standing in the beginning of the hallway. Toriel speaks in an emotionless voice. Toriel: You wish to return “Home,” do you not? Ahead of us lies the end of the Ruins. A one-way exit to the rest of the Computerworld. I am going to destroy it. Chara: I KNEW IT! Toriel: No one will ever be able to leave again. Now be a good child and go upstairs. Toriel continues going forward, but Frisk and Chara are too determined to give up now. Toriel: Every human that falls down here meets the same fate. I have seen it again and again. They come, They leave, they die. You naive child… If you leave the Ruins… They… ASGORE… Will kill you. I am only protecting you, do you understand? Go to your room. Do not try to stop me. This is your final warning. Toriel continues to walk towards the doors and Frisk follows her to them. There is nowhere else to go. Toriel: You want to leave so badly? Hmpf. You are just like the other one. There is only one solution to this. Prove yourself… Prove to me you are strong enough to survive. Toriel blocks the way! Without Frisk even telling her, Chara uses the code to check Toriel. Toriel ATK 80 DEF 80 Knows best for you. Toriel makes a swarm of fireballs around Frisk. She barely dodges the fireballs, still feeling their heat. Toriel looks through her. Frisk attempts to talk to Toriel, but she doesn’t say anything because she can’t think of any conversation topics. Frisk shows that she doesn’t want to fight, but Toriel still keeps on attacking. Now, She moves her arms, creating fireball waves in front of them. Frisk dodges one wave and the other distinguishes before it hits her. Frisk is still trying to stop their fight. This time, Toriel takes a little bit longer before she makes her next attack. She prepares another magical attack. This time a fireball hits Frisk, hurting and slightly burning her. Frisk fails to contain a small yelp from the pain and the heat of the attack. Toriel is acting aloof. Frisk still doesn’t fight back. Toriel is slightly confused by this. Toriel: What are you doing? She creates another sweep attack, but Frisk manages to somehow dodge it. Before she has time to regain balance, Toriel throws another wave, dangerously damaging her. Fisk cries out in pain. Chara’s ghost body is frozen by fear. Toriel creates another wave. Frisk is on the ground, almost completely unable to move. The fireballs travel at high speed, but all of them go around Frisk, actually dodging her. Toriel: What are you proving this way? Frisk is still barely moving, just holding her glow stick in front of her as a last defense. Chara starts to regain control of her body and calms down a bit when she sees that Toriel won’t fight anymore. Chara: I think it’s over. Toriel makes a small wave, giving Frisk time to slowly get up. She is gasping for air, shaking from the pain that’s going through her whole body after every move, but she still colets enough energy to somehow stand up. Toriel prepares for an attack, but there isn’t one. She realizes that there is only one way this battle is going to end. She stops attacking. Toriel: I know you want to go home, but… Frisk still does nothing, taking deep breaths, still fighting her injuries. Toriel: But please, go upstairs, now. Frisk still doesn’t move, because she is determined to continue and because moving again would probably make her fall to the ground. Toriel manages a weak smile Toriel: I promise, I will take good care of you here. I know we do not have much, but, we can have a good life here. Frisk stands still, apart from shaking, holding her good arm over the wounded one and her stomach. Toriel: Why are you making this so difficult. Please, go upstairs. Frisk just looks at her, basically begging with her eyes. Toriel realizes the amount of injury she has brought upon her and starts to feel ashamed of her actions, remembering her last attempt of stopping a child. Toriel: Pathetic, is it not? I cannot save even a single child. Frisk would normally try to make her feel better, but she is in way too much pain to talk or move.   Toriel: No, I understand. You would just be unhappy trapped down here. The Ruins are very small once you get used to them. It would not be right for you to grow up in a place like this. My expectations… My loneliness… My fear… For you, my child, I will put them aside. If you truly wish to leave the Ruins… I will not stop you. However, when you leave… Please do not come back. I hope you understand. Toriel heals Frisk’s injuries, but even after that, Frisk can still feel the pain in their body. Still, she manages to hug Toriel. Goodbye, my child. Toriel walks away. Chara: Are you ok? Frisk: I don’t know. Chara: What happened down here while I was away? I have never seen her so violent. Frisk: At least we’re alive. Relatively. Chara: The pain should go away after some time. Are you ready to continue? Frisk: As ready as I can be. Chara: Well that will have to be good enough. Frisk opens the big door and walks through the hallway, only to find Flowey waiting at the exit. Flowey: Clever. Verrrryyy clever. You think you’re really smart, don’t you? In this world, it’s kill, or be killed. So you were able to play by your own rules. His face turns demonic. Flowey: You spared the life of a single person. Hee hee hee… His face turns back to normal. Flowey: I bet you feel really great. You didn’t kill anybody this time. But what will you do if you meet a relentless killer? You’ll die and you’ll die and you’ll die. Until you tire of trying. What will you do then? His face takes on an evil shape again. Flowey: will you kill out of frustration? Or will you give up entirely on this world… Flowey keeps changing his face to match his mood. Flowey: … and let ME inherit the power to control it? I am the prince of this world’s future. Don’t worry, my little monarch, my plan isn’t regicide. This is SO much more interesting. He does an evil laugh and goes away. Frisk slowly walks over to the door and goes through. She barely walks through the door before passing out on the ground. Chapter 3 Prologue Chapter 5