#also yes i did make that doffy gif what are you going to do about it?

[donquixotehomura]

Donquixote Doflamingo x Reader His Type

Master List

this kinda got away from me lol, it's also messy, Nsfw part warning I marked it tho no worries, the kinda trigger warnings that accompany Doffy apply but not all of them, also blood and death not Doffy or reader..... ish. as always please tell me if you find any mistakes and to address my hiatus I got sick then busy then sick again it was a rough ride lol

Feisty, headstrong, bratty, Loyal, obedient, smart, supportive, sympathetic, insane.

SFW AKA FLUFFY

He likes how loyal you are to him, how nothing and no one will make you betray him, how you’d defy the whole world for him and how you’d die for him.    He likes that you’re not with him because he’s a god or king, not because of his wealth or influence, not because he’s strong or a conqueror, you love his strength yes, but you love more than just that, you love all of him.   

He likes how nice you are to him, how you always listen to him and how you help him, how you don’t pity him for what happened but your reaction is just sadness because he suffered, it’s out of your pure feelings of love towards him which baffled him for a long time when he found out after he was done suspecting you had ulterior motives.    It takes him a while to get used to this and accept it, especially how you encourage him to open up and that it’s not weakness to have problems and it’s part of being alive, how he can be vulnerable with you without consequences.    If he just wants to talk, you’ll listen attentively and it doesn’t matter how long after if he brings it up again you’ll remember everything, if he wants feedback you’ll give him feedback and advice.    He’s conflicted because you taught him it’s OK to be vulnerable and show weakness to you, that he doesn’t have to be strong the whole time, especially that he wanted to portray himself as strong for you to show he can protect you and that he’s the best, that you won’t find anyone like him, so you don’t ever leave him, you assure him you won’t ever leave and he believes you.   Your love for him persists even tho you know he’s not as strong as he portrays himself, and that he has these *human* feelings, how he’s still tortured by nightmares of his past, how sleep escapes him on many nights and when he does sleep he almost always jolts awake in terror struggling to calm his heartbeat and control his breathing, how when that happens you don’t comment on it and just drag him into your arms and never acknowledge the nightmare waiting for him to do it when he’s ready, how you stop him from drowning out the terror with alcohol and give him an alternative, talking about random things asking about what he’s going to do tomorrow even tho you know his schedule or even read to him or tell him a story, but you never judge him no  matter what you never look at him any less and never leave or betray him.   How you still look at him with the same admiration and love you always did and even more, he questions if you’re sound of mind to be so genuinely in love with someone like him, he knows his flaws and wonders if you don’t, he asks you once and you just tell him that you know and acknowledge his flaws and you love him, flaws and all.

He realizes how much he loves you and that scared him, he avoided you for a couple of days till you basically pursued him and sat him down to talk asking if something was troubling him and if it's you, he doesn't confess outright but he makes it very clear, and he's thankful for your perceptiveness because he didn't have to say it for you to understand how he feels and how confessing won't be easy at least for a while.

In the end he hates that you're loyal and love him enough that you're willing to die for him, he doesn't want to lose you, just thinking about it puts him in pain.

NSFW

He likes his toys obedient and serving, however if you want to be more than just a toy you have to have your own sense of self and not just a mindless fool, he likes feisty and bratty, he likes his partner to have her own sense of self while still being loyal to him, he likes someone who has their own thoughts however if you always question him that’ll annoy him, there’s a delicate balance, he also likes it when you tease him and are bratty, there’s nothing he enjoys more than punishing your teasing till you’re begging for more or for him to slow down depending on which way he decided to punish you either way in the end he’ll be fucking the brat out of you till you can no longer think.    His queen can be as bratty as she wants, and she gets everything she wants, however all actions have consequences, the brattier you are the more he’ll punish you, his punishments are pure blissful torture.    Nothing turns him on more than seeing you be sadistic, killing enemies brutally? Turns him on, getting covered in blood in the process? Sends shivers down his spine and straight to his cock, torturing a traitor or enemy for information? He knows for a fact that you're secretly watching him and can see his straining boner especially when you throw him a knowing glance and smiling teasingly while standing over the poor soul that’s suffering, same goes for you for all the above, especially when he uses his devil fruit how the strings can be so dangerous and sharp enough to cut through anything but he has enough control that he can make them dull enough that he can use them on you without leaving a single cut or a few scratches if he wishes, licking your blood also turns him on.    When you bite him during sex, that’s a privilege held by no other, he discovered he liked it when he was fucking you hard in an empty hallway in some base of an underworld dealer he was making a deal with and got bored and annoyed so during a break, he dragged you with him to an empty hallway pinned you to the wall and told you to be quiet as he quickly pulled down your pants and his fingers found your wetness you lack of panties and being already wet wasn’t lost on him, soon enough he was balls deep inside you while you muffled your moans by burying your face in his neck, his shirt jacket and coat having already been discarded at this point, he never slowed down even as you both heard voices going up and down the other hallways, as you felt yourself about to come you clung harder to him while he encouraged you and also teased you that you’ll get caught if you’re too loud, you came hard and instinctively bit down on his shoulder so hard you drew blood, the sudden unexpected feeling made him follow you emptying himself inside you, quickly realizing what you did you went to apologize but before a word left you, you heard him laughing quietly in your ear, looking at you with that usual grin was an immediate relief what he said next shocked you “so my feisty kitten likes to bite fufufufu ...I’ll keep that in mind for later tonight” he finished his sentence by kissing your red stained lips tasting his blood on them, good news is his clothes covered your handiwork and yours covered his, otherwise everyone would have known what went down a few feet away from them  

[physics-of-one-piece]

Welcome to Doffy's Physics Lab.

In this post, we'll calculate how big Doflamingo's hands are and how long his fingers are.

Let's dive right in!

Okay, so the thing Oda did very very well is capture how long Doflamingo’s limbs are. He has a very strong chest, and his arms are as previously calculated 1.5m. What I say Oda captured well is actually (after some checking) that the proportions of Doflamingo’s body are not THAT bad compared to irl logic.

The man who has the largest hands in the world is Sultan Kosen (Turkey). His hands are 29 centimeters, but his height is 250 centimeters. Mr Kosen has gigantism and acromegaly, this is why he’s so tall and this is why his hands are bigger. Hands are usually 10% of the body height, so his hands should actually be 25 cm, but biology comes into play here, and after seeing some pictures, his hands look very normal for his size. They fit him. When I say how large the hand is, it means the length of the hand from the wrist to the middle finger.

So, this means, taller people’s hands most likely are not 10% of their height, but 11%. You may be wondering why I only heightened it for 1% percent. 1% proportion increase is about 4 cm increase on the real hand already. This fits for how big Mr Kosen’s hands are and follows bone structure that he has, which we can use to then calculate Doflamingo’s.

Also, body mass and body build goes into account. Even tall people have bigger hands than they should sometimes. Skinny people who are tall may have hands that aren’t 10% their body height, so the mass influences the proportion. The reason behind this is genetics and the aforementioned body structure. So, yes, it can depend! Not everyone has 10%! It doesn’t mean you are not healthy, it varies from person to person!

So, for tall people with a larger body mass, let’s put 10% for now; he is weighty but he is also lean in the arms and legs.

This is how we calculate:

10% proportion

Hand = height • proportion

hand = 305 • 0.10

hand = 30.5 cm

This is already huge. Absolutely huge. His hand is bigger than an average human’s head. His hands are 1.5 cm longer than an A4 paper. Yeah. Awesome! That’s awesome.

Sorry, geeking out and fangirling, please stand by.

Okay, we’re gonna do it with Oda’s proportions now. We’re gonna make it 11%.

The anime makes his hands so big. He a big boy.

This with 11% is the most accurate I like to believe.

0.11 • 305 = 33.55cm

We’ll call this next one the extreme but still possibly accurate version

With 12% body proportion (this is extreme of extremes I think this is too much, but fuck it, One Piece doesn’t follow rules so neither will I)

Hand= 305 • 0.12

Hand = 36.6 cm

These are all big.

Okay, now for the fingers. The anime keeps them good on proportions! Oda, as well! They look outta proportion to us midgets but they’re normal size for Doflamingo.

(rubs hands giddily) Hehe, I wanted to know this for AGES.

For this, we use the length of the hand and then anatomical proportions.

Middle finger is 35-40% of the total hand length

Index finger: 30-35%

Ring finger: 30-35%

Little finger: 30-35%

Thumb: 22-27%

Yeah, for normal people.

Not for One Piece, me thinks. I always imagine Doflamingo’s middle finger is half the length of his entire hand. Big boy has long fingers.

But fine, we’ll go with this first. And THEN we’ll have fun in the One Piece proportions.

Okay, so this is where we need to know the finger-length type classification of the hand. There are 4 types.

Most artists, Oda included, draw the hands with the mountain type ie middle finger is the longest. If there are any artists who can confirm/deny so I can later fix it, that’d be great.

Based on this study with men, their index finger is longer than their ring finger, and only by a few mm. We’re gonna put everything in the middle. We’ll make his index finger 1 cm shorter from his middle finger. Ring and index finger are gonna be the same length to get that “mountain” curve.

Now we will go with his hand being 30.5 cm ie with 10% proportion.

Warning, I am breaking dreams with this one, and once again, I like to think his middle finger is 15 cm long! Is it too long? Maybe. Do I care? No. The fun thing about knowing rules is knowing how to break them.

Formula:

percentage • hand length = finger length

30.5cm hand

Middle finger = 0.40 • 30.5 = 12.2 cm

Index finger = 0.35 • 30.5 = 10.67 cm

Ring finger = 0.35 • 30.5= 10.67 cm

Little finger = 0.325 • 30.5 = 9.91 cm

Thumb = 0.27• 30.5 = 8.23 cm

To put his thumb into visual, 8 cm is the average length 180 cm tall men have of their middle finger.

Okay, now onto the official One Piece proportions the 11%. We just need to have his big hand size, he has HUGE hands. Okay.

33.55 cm hand (most likely to be Doflamingo’s hand size)

Middle finger = 0.40 • 33.55 = 13.42 cm

Index = 0.35 x 33.55 = 11.74 cm

Ring = 0.35 x 33.55 = 11.74 cm

Little = 0.325 x 33.55 = 10.90 cm

Thumb = 0.27 x 33.55 = 9.05 cm

Last Possible Version (Extreme Version)

36.6 cm hand

Middle finger= 0.40 • 36.6 = 14.65 cm

(chokes) Holy Mariejois and celestials. Okay. Okay.

Index finger = 0.35 • 36.6 = 12.81 cm

Ring finger = 0.35 • 36.6 = 12.81 cm

Little finger = 0.325 • 36.6 = 11.89 cm

Thumb = 0.27 • 36.6 = 9.88 cm

Woah, his thumb is huge 🤣🤣🤣 (I have a 30cm ruler sitting on the paper rn so yeah these are crazy numbers)

And there you go.

Okay, now width of fingers, we have no way of calculating it except to use known information.

For example, palm width of a hand of 19.3cm long is 8.9cm. let’s cut our losses and divide that to see how much smaller is the palm (this is cheating btw but it gets the job done). Usually your fingers are half the length of your palm. Sth like that. The palm is drawn mostly as a square or a curved parallelogram depending on the angle in which it’s drawn in. I am going with the easier option where all sides are equal.

We got 2.16

So we can say…

Average Palm width without adjusting for OP proportions

for 30.5 cm hand = 30.5/2.16 = 14.12 cm

Doflamingo’s Palm Width (adjusted for OP Proportions)

33.55 cm hand = 33.55/2.16= 15.50 cm

(I just realised I can just go minus his middle finger because that is how we got the length of his hand omg I am an idiot, no need for complex stuff)

33.55 cm - 13.42 cm = 15.13

(Okay, this is the better and easier way and makes good sense!)

(Whispers) Jesus fucking Christ

Extreme Palm Width

for 36.6 cm hand = 36.6/2.16 = 16.96 cm

Dear fucking GOD.

I really like the 30.5 cm from an accuracy standpoint but also, usually, hands are bigger than the average, and the taller you are, basing on your body type & genetics, that proportion can shift slightly.

So 33 cm isn’t a far reach at all for Doflamingo. He absolutely can wrap his single hand around a woman’s throat depending on the circumference of the woman’s throat. He cannot wrap them around a man’s neck fully to enclose it. He can, single-handedly with a 33 cm hand, absolutely completely envelop a woman’s neck.

There’s that. His finger thickness is probably 2-3cm.

And that's it!

Taglist: @fanaticsnail

[trixree]

As a queer woman I never felt welcome in the Okama, even back at Impel Down. They never felt militant to me despite their role in the Revolutionaries, mostly seeming content with being comedic fodder and sidekicks for cishets.

But I did feel welcome in the Donquixiote Family. Despite their queerness being limited to coding, I always felt as if they had more righteous rage and pride, not being talked down to and existing outside a social norm.

Am I the only one here?

I think the okama tap into a particular Thing about queerness and that Thing is the cishet preoccupation with The Body. Do I think Oda did this intentionally? God no. Do I fault anyone for not connecting to the okama in the same way I did? Absolutely not. What follows is a VERY long rant that no one asked for about why I find the okama particularly compelling as a subversive sort of queer power in the One Piece Universe. If you choose to read more, you continue at your own peril.

For about as long as there has been an effort to police queerness, there's been an effort to define it in "scientific" (= pseudo-scientific) terms. Why? Well, because if something has a pathology, it has a cure. Early attempts to pathologize queerness ranged from "gay men can't whistle" (yes, I'm serious) to "lesbians are left-handed" to very specific (and very racialized!) imaginings of "proper" bodily proportions (see: size of the clitoris, presence/absence of body hair, muscle distribution, etc.) And this compulsion to give a morphology to queerness is still around today! See: discussions of sex differences in the brain, the diagnostic tool of “gender identity disorder”, and The Gay Gene™. If you want to read up on this more, I really recommend Nancy Ordover's American Eugenics

This preoccupation with the Queer Body is in our history, in our medicine, and absolutely in media. Specifically, in One Piece, I think that it’s these sorts of Queer-Body caricatures that Oda relies on with his design of the okama.

There’s long been this belief that queerness was linked to hormone production. In the 1896 work of English eugenecist Havelock Ellis, Ellis suggested that an “abnormal balance in internal secretions” was to blame for the morphological anomalies he observed to be associated with “lesbianism.” (And anyone who knows anything about the brutal history of experimentation on queer folks knows that hormonal experimentation was a particularly grim recurring feature.) Funny how the choice devil-fruit for Emporio Ivankov was the Horu Horu no Mi…

The scene that introduces us to Ivankov’s powers was a very particular evocation of the mythical terrors of hormones. Before our eyes, Ivankov turns a buff, hairy, deep-voiced man’s man into a high-voiced, big boobed, blushing lady. Is it meant to be comical? Most definitely. Does it also tap into a century’s worth of deep societal and medical anxiety about the sorts of people—re: “sexual deviants”—that an “abnormal balance of secretions” creates? I sure think it does. And, more obviously, the character design of the okama draws from this tradition of Queer Anatomy. See, the “hairy men in dresses”, the “animal/beastial” (with my apologies to furries), and the starkly contrasted/clashing binary:

But here’s where I think Oda’s intended caricature of queer bodies backfired for a lot of queer One Piece viewers: he made the “mistake” of making Ivankov a character. Like @talesofmetalandmagic pointed out, a lot of the okama get relegated to a role as comedic fodder. But there’s one thing that I think Oda does really well and that is creating a fully realized world. Many of his gag characters come back as fully-fledged people with backstories, motivations, depth!!!! (Just fucking look at Buggy!!!!) Oda does the same thing with Ivankov by making them the leader of the revolutionary army and a vitally important ally to Luffy during Impel Down/Marineford.

Are there things about the okama that are offensive? Absolutely. And look, I don’t get to dictate what does or does not offend any given queer person, alright? I am not the Queer Tzar. I’m just saying that I think there was something unintentionally clever in having a huge part of the Impel Down arc contingent on queer-trope gag characters—they are unapologetically vital to the story. I mean, just look at Bon-chan, whose heroism was the only reason Luffy made it out of Impel Down.

Say what you will about Oda, but his characters are never really just one thing, and the okama are not just offensive queer caricatures. They’re powerful allies, guardians of key knowledge, and heroes with emotional weight. For me personally, seeing these characters run around as blatant call-backs to the gay nightmares of english eugenecists while having their pronouns Respected by the main character is something like empowerment. Yeah, the okama of the Kamabaka Kingdom have stubbly faces, big red lips, and pink frilly dresses, but they also spent two years kicking Sanji’s ass, and honestly? Fucking get his ass, ladies.

@talesofmetalandmagic says she feels drawn to the righteous rage and pride of the queer-coded Donquixiote Family. I absolutely think there’s some merit to that. Doflamingo is very campy, and the visual of him Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlbossing his way to the top has its own sort of subversive power to it.

But in my watching experience, the Class aspect of Dofflamingo’s backstory sort of drowned out any subversive queer power he might have had. Not to get this Girlboss Cancelled or anything, but the man was very motivated by the belief in his own inherent superiority and his right to like… have slaves and stuff.

All of this is to say that no one gets to determine how your lived experiences connect you to works of fiction. I was drawn to the subversive potential of the okama because of my own academic and personal interests in imaginings of the queer body. You, my dear, can be drawn to whatever the fuck you want.

[base0h]

a/n - @countingsheepboi had the idea and now I’m gonna do a part two bec these are funny >:)

Warnings ⚠️ - chaotic g/n reader, crack-ish

Opposites attract p2

- he’s never wanted to cry from stress until now

- he could be just talking to one of his siblings for one second, and when he turns around, you’re gone

- you enjoy messing with him by hanging onto his back so he can never find you until he either uses haki or you scare the absolute shit out of him

- will go to brulee for advice

- he’s the only thing keeping you alive, and you’re singlehandedly shortening his lifespan

- “KURI! Look at this cute mushroom! It’s so small-!” You said, poking the spotted little plant

- it was so squishy and adorable that you decided to stick the whole thing in your mouth to see if it tasted good

- tasted like shit mixed with tree sap

- you choked on it lmao 😭

- “Y/n did you swallow it??”

- whats the ginormous mochi man wearing platform boots with spurs gonna do-?! (as you can see I love his boots a lot lmao)

- he doesn’t want to hurt you but he also doesn’t want you to keep choking so he’s trying to pat your back with two of his fingers gently

- it still hurt

- he swore he could’ve fainted at some point from anxiety

- you’ve unfortunately introduced him to panic attacks

- cannot sleep without knowing you’re in bed, ok, not eating poisonous things, and that you’re not hurt

- yes he’s stressed now, but you’re the only thing that makes him happy

- and so fucking stressed at the same time

- joins therapy with smoker

- he’s already stressed, and now he’s more stressed

- requires screaming into a pillow every once in a while to blow off some steam

- will make bepo or shachi or even Penguin watch over you

- almost every time you manage to magically disappear

- “CAPTAIN Y/N’S GONE-!”

- the amount of energy and effort it’s taking him not to scream is amazing

- he needs to get you a rope for you to hold onto like a kindergartner lmao

- before he even gets to say a word about his plan you’re already beating people’s asses with no second thoughts

- a little part of him becomes more depressed every single time you rush on ahead

- spends all his time on these plans 😭

- inside he secretly appreciates it when you bring over a marine that’s been beaten up by you with a smile

- makes him happy :)

- you’re so thoughtful and he loves that 🙃

- he’s clumsy enough already 💀

- he ends up setting you on fire as well sometimes

- nooo but his devilfruit with your abilities is so overpowered 😭

- no sound is made when you literally rush in and beat every single person up inside the room while Corazon throws a grenade inside when you’re done

- y’all have the epic moment of walking away from the explosion

- and then his coat catches on fire

- will be by your side whenever you need

- you’re the one who’s dragging him along by his coat into danger because he can’t run a single minute without falling

- imagine seeing a 9’7 man getting dragged by someone half his size 💀

- doffy will always be confused as to how you two got together

- 10 year old law is even more stressed now

- poor kid is surrounded by clumsy reckless people lol

- Cora is the type of guy who would run into danger without thinking just because you were right next to him :)

- he didn’t know wtf to do when you ate something poisonous

- “Y/N-! OH GOD- UH- CAN YOU THROW UP?! LAW WHAT DO I DO-?!”

- he is freaking out

- started sobbing thinking you were gonna die, “Y/N I LOVE YOU SO MUCH-“

- “CORA-SAN Y/N’S FINE SHUT UP!”

- he’s now crying out of happiness while suffocating law in a hug

- I think he sobbed for a solid hour straight into poor law’s ears

a/n - poor katakuri :’)

[ghostkinnie]

I loved your OP boys x Pregnant reader hc’s!! I was wondering if you could do some with Kid and Doffy? 💕💕

a/n: sure!! i loved doing their hcs with a pregnant reader and doffy is just my fav

KID AND DOFLAMINGO X PREGNANT!READER

➜warnings: extra nsfw at the end

DOFLAMINGO

This man is going to be extremely protective during your pregnancy. And when I say protective I mean it in an extreme way

He just doesn't want to risk something happening to you and your baby. He won't let his son go through what he went through as a child

At first he will switch between two moods: a proud father and an insecure father due to his childhood

He will wait for you to sleep to stroke and kiss your belly while whispering how much he loves your son. He loves his family and this baby is going to be the most pampered and loved little being in the world

And about this baby being spoiled I mean it. His room will almost be a castle and if this child wants an entire city Doflamingo will give it

When he first felt the baby kick you saw him take off his glasses and cover his eyes with his hands to hide his crying

"I'm so proud of you, little bird." He will whisper as he kisses your forehead and strokes your belly

NSFW

Doflamingo is always in the mood for that and a pregnancy won't lessen his desire for you, on the contrary, it will open up new ideas in his mind

When he sees your hormones and desires at work, this man will just laugh mischievously and throw you on the bed with the excuse of being a good "husband" and taking care of you

I mean he will really take care of you but in a way that will make you cry because this man knows what he does with his tongue and fingers

It will definitely hook you with his devil fruit and tell you to relax while he does the work

You're not going to get out of that bed until you're a pleasure mess and you've come over and over again

He's mean but when it comes to fucking you he does it well no matter the moment

"Go ahead and come for me, doll"

KID

Kid is chaotic and explosive but nothing in this world is more important to him than you and your future child

He definitely almost passed out when you told him about the pregnancy. Yeah Kid, that's the price for being a rabbit in heat

He never thought about being a father but since it happened he will accept the challenge very well. Killer will need to explain to him thousands of times how having a child works

He will create the baby's toys and also things for the room and he will be very happy doing it

When the baby first kicks this man will be a proud, happy mess. He'll praise that his son is big like him and he'll go out and tell everyone on the crew

He doesn't care about the sex of the baby but he knows it's definitely going to be a badass like him. And he'll whisper it every night when he kisses your belly

"Hey Y/N! Look at the toy I made." He will speak proudly as he places the metallic toy on your tummy

NSFW

Did I already say that this man is like a rabbit in heat? Because he is and if no one stops he is likely to have new children

Hormones and pregnancy cravings on this subject will excite him more than you'd think

Your bigger and more sensitive breasts will drive this man crazy and he will mark them with his mouth and lipstick all the time

Seeing your belly bigger while he fucks you boosts Kid's ego because he knows he did this to you

Now that you're already pregnant, coming inside will be a big yes for him

"Shit! You love it when I fill you up like this don't you?"

[bronan]

Iknow mothing of bf5 so gimme ur old url Kuzan 👁👁

well well well if it isn’t my ex husband

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them - his post timeskip outfit. I'll say it. I don't think I truly started REALLY loving Kuzan and appreciating him properly until I saw him in those boots with those heels and those titties out. Then my entire perspective changed it was like a light clicked on in my head. yes it’s so sad I’m sorry. Oda went SO HARD on his outfit like Kuzan went from being a lazy marine to just oozing slut energy idk how else to say it - I promise I also love his personality not just his ice cold double d's and four inch heels. I like how he's full of compassion but you can tell he's just SO fed up and disenchanted with the state of the world, the case of a man who wants change and finally took matters into his own hand - god and I love his scars and his ice leg. KIIING girl help I'm going to fall back in love with kuzan one piece I don't know if I can handle that it was so intense last time

least favorite thing about them - I'm waiting to see what the hell Oda has planned for him but I have been waiting for ten years Oda can we get a fucking KUZAN UPDATE PLEASE

favorite line - I can't remember the line and translations will make it different anyway but when he walked up to doffy, who was sitting on a pulverized Smoker and was about to kill his ass, and was like "hey excuse me can you get off my friend" it was just. iconic. WHO else would casually stroll up and say that calmly while emanating 400000% malice doffy probably felt that all the way in his fucking hollow ass bird bones

brOTP - kuzan/camel brOTP for life and then the next life, that is his ride, his sidekick, his emotional support penguin. I’m so glad kuzan just fucked off to the ocean and adopted an enormous penguin to chill with so he’s not alone. He could cross the ocean on his own with his devil power but was too lazy so he rides a penguin around like what else is there to even say - kuzan garp brotherhood except I’m STILL mad at garp over marineford god DAMN IT but I know he and kuzan are toit so whatever kuzan be friends with whoever you want I guess - I’m still sad about Z, man

OTP - I think Kuzan and Smoker should bang. Smoker would keep his dumb ass in line. 

nOTP - Kuzan/Robin.....not for me

random headcanon - Kuzan wanted to dress like a slut all along the marines just wouldn’t let him. AS SOON as he left them he put on the high heels and the skinny jeans and the shirt with the deep V neck like. What else was he supposed to do. He’s 49 and killing it suck it sakazuki you deepfried asshole

unpopular opinion - I don’t know if I have one.. nobody really talks about kuzan much LMAO idk what the fandom even thinks of him really...

song i associate with them - Can't Stop by Red Hot Chili Peppers

favorite picture of them

do gifs count because when he did this I was like 👀

[madlymiho]

You may, you may! ~

Doffy requests are alway a pleasure to write anon ~ I love the Soulmate AU! Thanks for the ask!

Doflamingo - Scenario (Soulmate AU)

“You better be kidding me?!”

You are watching yourself in the mirror. You are wrapped in a towel, right after a nice and long shower. It’s the early spring; the weather is just as you like it, and you were about to leave for work. Nevertheless, it seems you have a little surprise this morning. You were washing your face when you have suddenly discovered a strange mark on your arm. You have scratched it, repeatedly, but the mark has just become even more visible. Then, you have seen what you have always feared. Even a few minutes after your discovery, it still feels like a death sentence.

“This is not happening…,” You whisper, panicked. “Oh god it must be a nightmare or I’m really in trouble!”

Oh yes, troubles indeed. You’ve been marked by your soulmate. Your mother told you it would happen one day, once you’d be near this person on your daily life. If you have been thrilled by the idea of having a soulmate for a long time, at the age of 25, you are not so interested about it anymore. You mother also told you that sometimes, the mark would never appear, because since you need to be close to your soulmate to get it, sometimes you just never encounter them. Frankly, you would have preferred. Being alone is much more attractive…than having this name on your arm. You decide to change your top, preferring a long sleeve shirt than your short sleeve blouse. You really don’t want people to see your new mark. You curse loudly before you leave your flat, heading directly to your work, which is not so far from your home. In less than ten minutes, you are entering the fancy building, climbing the stairs to reach your floor. You throw your bag on your desk, and immediately sit, trying to think about something else. You sincerely hope your boss isn’t around today; you clearly don’t want to meet him.

“Such a dramatic face this morning, /name/.” You hear from your boss office’s doorstep.

Doflamingo is watching you with a huge, somehow friendly smile. He pushes his pink glasses back on his nose, leans against the door, his hands in his trousers pocket. By instinct, you immediately pull on your sleeve to cover the name on your skin.

“Don’t worry, boss. Everything is all right. Do you need anything from me?”

You look at him, hiding the fact that you are clearly not comfortable now. He doesn’t answer right away, analyzing your face and your body like he could smell your fear as the monster he is. You really hope he wouldn’t use his power on you; he has already done it once, and it was the worst experience of your life. His smile grows bigger, and eventually, he shakes his head.

“Nah, I’m fine. But once the Croco-boy would be here, please bring us two cup of coffee and a box of cigars, for the animal.”

You nod and he closes the door. You really want to run away. You take a quick look at your arm, desperate as you see the mark is still here, silently mocking you. Doflamingo is a monster and you hate him. Or even more, you think you hate him, because it’s a bit more complicated than this. Being his secretary is certainly the worst job of your life. He knows how to manipulate people, and since you are his eyes and his ears, you always feel glued to his nasty projects. He makes you note down every of his decisions, even the darkest ones, and slowly but surely, he has dragged you in his side business, under the “Joker” nickname. You know he has a grip on you, and it terrifies you, even if deep down, you have grown a weird crush feeling for him. Now that you have just discovered he’s your soulmate, you feel like the fate was laughing at you.

The ringtone of your den den mushi makes you jump on your chair, as you come back to reality. You angrily pick up the phone:

“Mister Doflamingo office, /name/ speaking.”

“Oï /name/, Crocodile here. I’m downstairs.”

You grab a pen and note down at what time Sir Crocodile, a former Shichibukai and Doflamingo’s strange business partner, has just arrived. You know him a little bit now, so you’re used to his impatient manners.

“Yes, Sir Crocodile. He’s waiting for you.”

He hangs up without a word, and in a few seconds, he enters the lobby, his everlasting cigar trapped between his teeth as he looks at you with a blank expression. You offer him a warm smile as you have learnt to do, standing back on your feet to open the office door. Doflamingo is already ready, welcoming his former colleague with his false smile as you close the door behind Crocodile, going back to your desk. Then, you remember he asked you to prepare some coffee and cigars for their meeting. You comply with his order, anxious to meet him in his office in a few minutes. Your den den mushi rings, and Doflamingo demand you to bring the tray with the commodities. You put everything in order, because you know he likes when everything is perfectly aligned, then, you immediately come to his office. He’s seated, with Crocodile in front of him, on his large couches. A few documents are displayed on the coffee table between the sofas, but you don’t look at them. They stop talking as you lower yourself, almost squatting, to put the tray between them.

“Thank you, /name/.” Doflamingo purrs, his eyes locked on your blushed face. “Would you mind to serve us?”

Well, this is new. He always prefers that you leave the office immediately, so you lift your chin up, looking at him with surprised eyes. He offers you an animal smile, and you freeze, unable to answer nor move, frightened. He starts to laugh, mockingly, as he looks back at Crocodile.

“I don’t know what’s in their mind today, but /name/ seems really nervous whenever I ask for something.”

“I see.”

Crocodile is not interested by Doflamingo’s little game. He just grabs a cigar on the tray and put it to his mouth. You pinch your lips and decide to serve them, hoping you will get out of here before he would humiliate you anymore. You grab the coffee pot and start to pour it in one of the cup, but Doflamingo gets closer, sitting at the edge of the couch.

“Aren’t you afraid to soil your sleeves? Look, they’re almost soaking in the cup.”

He knows. It can’t be something else. He knows.

“It’s…It’s fine.” You mumble, trembling a little, as he keeps looking at you serving the coffee.

“It’s not. Look. You’re soiling yourself.”

Before you could anticipate it, he raises a finger and twists it in front of your face. Your hand acts without your consent, and you immediately spill the burning liquid of your arm. You gasp, truly hurt, as Doflamingo smile grows bigger and creepier, laughing fervently to your misery. Crocodile sighs, unamused by the whole situation. Doflamingo puts his hand back on his lap, his eyes eating you alive through his glasses.

“Oups. What an unfortunate mess.” He giggles.

You press your other hand on your injured arm, closing your eyes as the pain is still present. However, you feel his power entering your body once again. You look at him, desperate, but he only shows you a sadistic face. You feel your hand, the one that presses your skin, suddenly grabbing the edge of your sleeve to roll it up. You want him to stop, you don’t want to be humiliate once again, but you can’t speak. You’re too afraid to open your mouth.

“Oh, what is it?” He asks with a false innocent voice, wrapping his large hand around your wrist to have a proper look on your arm. “Did you try to hide something from me, /name/?”

You feel some acid tears rolling on your cheeks as he brings your arm to his mouth, just to press his mouth on it.

“Donquixote Doflamingo.” He reads loudly, turning his head to look back at Crocodile. “Did you see that, Croco-boy? How cute it is. /Name/ has been marked by my name.”

“Like I care.” Crocodile snaps, smoking on his cigar, focus on a document he has picked on the table.

A spark of anger crosses Doflamingo look, but he keeps smiling, looking back at your troubled face. He puts his fingers on your cheeks to wipe your tears, and you flinch, hoping we would eventually get bored quickly. Nevertheless, your despair seem to be food for his soul.

“Alright, /name/, I don’t like to see you cry.” He leans forwards, his face just above yours, as you feel your heart pumping desperately in your chest. “Go away, now. We’ll talk about it later.”