#also yes Phantom set a fire and made Mare grumpy

[bookwormscififan]

First Words

Read on AO3!

A/N: @iamvegorott gave me the prompt a week ago to explore what the twins' first words would be in the Papa Night AU.

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Night pinched the bridge of his nose with a heavy sigh, watching as the twins slapped food-covered hands against his polished wood dining table. He had turned away for a moment, but it was just enough time for the boys to stick their hands into their bowls of porridge and make a mess.

“Will you never obey my orders?” he groaned, moving to find a cloth to clean the hands of the twins. “You surely must understand the consequences of your decisions, knowing how you hate my cleaning your hands.”

Mare held his hands out for Night to clean, looking at him with guilty purple eyes. He kicked his feet, impatiently waiting for the god to clean him properly before lowering his hands and watching as Phantom was cleaned.

“Now, have you had enough to eat?” He asked, looking at each child in turn before taking away their bowls. “Let me put these in the kitchen, then I’ll come and put you both to bed.”

Bringing the bowls into the kitchen and scraping the remaining food from them, Night paused as he heard a clatter followed by a whoosh signalling one of the twins had started a fire. Sighing, he put the bowls in the dishwasher before moving back to the dining room.

“Papa!” Night froze. It was a petulant voice, filled with childlike annoyance, spoken in a whine over the crackling of the centrepiece on the table. “Papa…” That was Mare, looking tearfully at Night with a trembling lower lip while Phantom laughed beside him.

“Say that again.” Night’s voice was soft, awestruck as he looked at the child, waving a hand to extinguish the fire without tearing his gaze from Mare.

“P-Papa?” Mare let out a questioning yelp when Night scooped him up into his arms, holding him close to his chest and brushing his fingers through his hair.

“I—” There was no explaining the feeling swelling in his chest, the warmth that spread through him as Mare cuddled close. He let out a baffled huff at the dampness surrounding his eyes, freezing when Mare lifted a tiny finger to wipe away the tears he didn’t know were falling.

“Pa?” Looking up, he saw Phantom still sitting at the table, watching the god with confused and curious eyes. Shifting Mare to balance him on one hip, Night moved to Phantom and gently lifted him, walking both children to the couch and sitting with them on his lap.

“Boys,” he began, pausing to clear his throat. “Do you think of me as your father? Your… ‘papa’?” Mare and Phantom looked at each other before turning back to Night, leaning forward to hug him tightly.

“Papa,” Mare whispered, burying his face in Night’s jacket.

“Pa,” Phantom echoed, curling tightly into a ball in his lap.

A hesitation, a halting of breath as Night processed his twins’ utterances. His twins. Chaos-born children abandoned in the dead of night and left to freeze under a blossom tree. His children.

“Yes,” Night’s voice was barely above a whisper, holding his boys close as he let his emotions flood through him. “Yes, my sons, I’m your papa. I swear to always be your papa.”

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@brokentimewatch @dungeon-dragons-dragons @rattyboyisemo

[some-dark-side-writing]

The Egos Friend Gives Birth Headcannons:

•When it happens everyone fucking panics. Dark spills his chamomile on Bim, Bim steps on Schneep’s foot who now has to help you with a broken toe, Marvin sets the kitchen on fire because he was distracted... it’s utter mayhem.

•When the actual labour came Dr Iplier laid you down on an patient chair as he panicked and held his hands in a cupping motion under your crotch “I can help you!” “gET THE FUCK OUT” you screamed in pain till the ambulance drove you away, Schneep Dr Iplier and Dark following suit even if they all had to wait outside because Dark could still use his influence to calm you and the doctors were a no brainer. Phantom calls, driving over to the hospital immediately since he made sure you’d get the best treatment and of course if anything was to cost something it didn’t now that Phantom owned the best doctors in your area.

•When you walk through the door a day later with your newborn in your arms everyone is so quiet and still except for some unidentifiable squeaks

•You let Chase hold them first, because of course, and he’s so good. He burst into tears as soon as he set eyes on them and won’t stop now. He’s very careful and serious until you tell him to relax and that “You know what you’re doing, you’re a number one dad after all.” Then Chase is all smiley and making funny cooing noises “Who’s the cutest person here? You are! Oh yes you are! Who would I sell my soul to protect? Oh that’s right yes you’re so good aren’t you? Can you say uncle Chase? Oh they’re going to be so smart y/n.”

•”I might take you up on that soul bargain there bud” Phantom pipes in, passing his cane to you, since he’s not setting it aside in a house full of egos, as he walks up with his arms open expectantly (Robbie walks in for a hug but Marvin whispers that’s not what he meant). Chase is grumpy and I don’t think he’d trust Phantom a lot, but after a nod from you, he’d pass the baby to him and Phantom’s face lights up as soon as the babe is settled in his arms and it looks up at him “Because I’d protect this schnookums with a bargain or not! Hello there kiddin, oh are you smiling because your FAVOURITE uncle Phantom is here now?” I think Phantom would be great with kids naturally which not a lot of people expect. He’s definitely a fun rich uncle which lets be honest the kid would have a ton of now.

•Natemare is nervous even though he never thought he would be for this, pulling at the hem of his shirt till Phantom sighs. “Well, sadly my time is up with you young one, but now you get passed on to your second best looking unofficial uncle!” He slowly turns to face Natemare with a wide exaggerated grin and tilting the baby like a surprise gift for Mare. Natemare straightens up now all eyes are on him. “Are you sure? Maybe the glitch bitch wants them next or something...” but Phantom carefully slides them into Mare’s arms, with more teamwork than you’ve ever seen from them in public and Natemare is cradling that baby, he kind of turns his back to the others except for you. “Hello bubba. How are ya? You doing better than me coming to grips with this new world?” He looks up to you with a smile, you nod back proudly and he feels himsef tearing up as he whispers to them, wanting this to be a private moment. “Well don’t worry kid, I’m gonna be here to hold your hand through this journey every step of the way, your parent’s gonna be there too but meh.” He looks up to you with a smirk but you couldn’t hear what he was saying, the egos who had the ability to were hiding their smiles. “I swear, you’re gonna be the most loved and cherished kid out there, I’ll make it happen, your life is gonna be filled with nothing but fun, laughter, and music.” He turns back around to you, obviously more confident but still so soft as he gently bounces them, kissing their forehead sweetly and giggling red faced when the infant gets their finger inside the hole in his earring, gripping to that and to his falling fringe as they’re passed on to the next person, Natemare’s arms are now folded, missing that weight in them so much already, and he keeps his eye on them throughout.

•The baby loves tugging on Wilford’s moustache which everyone warned him about. “Don’t be silly now! How much power can a baby have?” He chuckled, already pushing his face into the baby’s, blowing raspberries on their stomach as Dark sighs “Yes but you also can’t shoot their arm off if they don’t let go Wil.” You quickly whisper to Dark, making sure he kept up his promise of no ‘shooties’ being around till you looked up after a sound of pain, luckily not coming from your own child, just small whelps and whimpers as they had a tiny tiny fist full of pink facial hair in their grip and Wilford chortling jollily. “It just means they love me!” He sighs happily and you assure him that is very much true. He waves bye to them once you manage to make him let go and pass them off to someone else.

•Don’t let Apocalypse near babies. He won’t squish it on purpose because there’s really no point in doing that and he’s not going to stick around long enough for it to start crying and piss him off. He’s not great with kids or people in general. Someone will have to push the baby into his crossed arms and hope he doesn’t have any reflexes that could drop them. If you were in his good book enough he’d be there “Stop being the biggest baby in the room and hold them” placing them in his arms before he can run off so he’s stuck there awkwardly and stiff, not looking down at it and trying not to clench his muscles. “Is it dead? Why the fuck (totally whisper hissed because innocent babby ears) did you give me a baby?!” But plot twist the babe falls right asleep because he holds them in a safe iron cage hold and is so warm it’s comforting to it. As soon as it’s asleep and he’s gotten over the one second shock it felt safe with him he’s threatening that even though you just gave birth he can kick your ass till someone takes the baby off him and then he leaves.

•The person snatching the now awake babe was probably Anti because he hates the idea of Apocalypse hurting your kid and he’s very jealous A got to hold them before he did. “How long till I can sling em in the air and throw them around and shit?” Chase throws a fit while you ensure Anti he can only do that if he wants a foot in his ass and knife in his heart. He winks at you, all while naturally rocking and bouncing the baby in his arms which no one expected him to do “Nah, I’ve already tried a knife, doesn’t work well on me, although this little thing is as fragile as Jackie’s feelings.” His eyebrows furrow when no one laughs or even Jackie takes a hit until he realised everyone’s staring at how expertly he’s holding them and how the baby is sucking Anti’s thumb?!? He passes them along while wiping his thumb in disgust (real or fake) and mumbling something under his breath, knowing he’s put a crack in his bad boy reputation.

•Robbie is sitting down in a chair to hold it, because no one can trust his arms won’t fall off, and he’s very very excited but also a nervous wreck. “M...Maaaybe I shouldn’t hold baby... don wanna hurt baaaaby.” And the egos make sure he had eaten till his stomach was bulging a little. He couldn’t see the baby from his sitting position, and Robbie is the only one who has never seen a baby in real life before. As soon as the baby is placed in his arms he cries as best as the zombie boy can cry. He’s so so gentle with them. And he absolutely loves them. His favourite thing is to not only see you but to see the baby too! And if he doesn’t see them for too long, even though the septics tell him that you have your own lives and the baby has a lot of learning and growing to do before play time, well he throws a fit anyway. He’s already gotten attached. Likes making silly faces and funny sounds the other egos have no idea how to possibly make which gives Robbie some pride when it makes them smile. Although once his funny face ended up getting scary when his jaw unhinged and when your baby started to cry so did Robbie. Chase took them and cooed until you came back and Robbie just couldn’t face you. You were scared he’d done something to hurt the baby, until chase told you, because rob had acted so guilty. He hid himself in his containment room for when he was full on zombie willingly, except with his favourite stuffed toy, and cried for days, telling everyone how he was a monster until you forced another play date and with it being a success it leads to your kid having a cool zombie friend and bodyguard for the rest of their life.

•Okay this is totally stolen from the tv show Whitechapel (if you haven’t seen it THE BEST dark detective tv series) but Dark is a bit hesitant since he’s used to being liked from his charming personality but his aura doesn’t exactly give off safe and trusting which kids just seem to pick up on, but everyone is pleasantly surprised when they haven’t been able to stop it’s crying until you pass them to Dark and he puts them against his shoulder, gently patting their back just twice, and the crying almost immediately stops. Even Dark is smiling smugly as he turns around to show Wilford and you all see a trail of sick from the baby is on the back of Dark’s suit. You all decide to not say anything and spoil the moment.

•Yan isn’t bad when the baby is passed to them either. Everyone was a bit nervous with Yan with their friends newborn too but Yan did an alright job when the newborn was passed over. “This is good practice for my future 10 children y/n.” Yan smiles, fingers itching a bit since Dark made them promise no katanas and no social media while you visited, phones were only allowed for pictures and videos which of course everybody took, making sure they had their own personal picture with the baby.

•Google was recording the entire event, including when Yan got a phone notification saying that senpai had posted a picture on Instagram and everyone noticed how Yan panicked, stepping forward and back undecided before they rushed to pass the baby to the nearest person and ran after their phone. That person was Google. He’d informed you from the start he would just film and didn’t want to take up others valued time holding the infant beforehand. But now he had them and as he looked down at them, his eyes recording all the little details of their face he did something no one expected (a lot of surprises coming from this baby) and he smiled. “Well I’m sure you’d be helpful for my secondary objective.” He wiggled a finger and what you thought was cooing turned out to be an experiment as they clung onto the finger that looked massive in their hand. “Ah there’s the social releaser.” He spoke to the baby now, in a quieter but still deep and uncooed voice “That would work with anyone else to make them fall in love and protect you, but not me, although I will make sure no harm comes to you if that will soothe you or your parent since, you can’t understand me.” He passed them to you immediately since you’d started walking over as soon as he mentioned using them for his secondary objective. Although that last part was somewhat sweet. “Yes, thank you G.”

•Bing ran over, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Hey it has to be my turn now right?” You smiled as the friendlier Iplier android held his arms out, cradling them only in one but you supposed an android was the safest to hold them like that. “Well hey there lil buddy. Sah tiny dude!” You chuckled quietly as Bing attempted to have them reciprocate fist bumps and very gentle high fives, as he raised his hand to his head, and slowly brought it down to barely make contact with their soft palm

•S34N did a scan as soon as the baby was in his arms. “All vitals are normal, they’re strong just like you y/n.” He smiled then, and you nodded back happily.

•dr Iplier grumbled. “I could have told you that.” And much to his embarrassment you heard him. “I think I know who wants to meet them next” You chimed but S34N was happy enough to pass them over. Dr Iplier did his own little checkups then, resting his head against their heart, shining a light in their eyes which made them burst into tears. Everyone started to grumble and throw insults at him but you helped him figure out how to soothe them.

•Host you had only just noticed seemed to be bursting with anticipation. He was waiting quietly and patiently but asked if he could sit down before they were passed to him. You told him that was perfectly fine, letting him get settled before placing your baby in his arms. You’d noticed he’d made sure to wear bright fresh bandages and smiled as they seemed to stare at each other for the longest time. “The Host looked down at y/n’s child, knowing their future was long and great as the child’s eyes opened to only see blurred images, but a sense of nothing but peace lay over them listening to... to the soothing sounds of the figure above them, in the warmth of their arms and the softness of what they could feel in their hands that would one day be bigger than their mothers...” You noticed your baby’s fist curled around Hosts trench coat and started to hear Host sniffling. “The Host would like you to pass them along lest he cry blood onto the newborn.” But quickly before you did he pressed the lightest kiss to their forehead.

•Author makes a raspberry sound with his mouth as egos turn to look at him. "Oh yeah, you think Host's a softie why don't you hold the baby?" Someone piped up. Author cracks his neck and takes the baby out of your arms, Dark noticeably rustles as he does this. But Author just smiles. "Well then, I suppose I'm expected to make a bunch of imaginary worlds for you to explore, but you'll have to finish a few of my personal favourite authors before that." He chuckled

•KOTS had brought a few squirrel friends, one who weren't diseased, to play with. The squirrels chattered as they watched their king take your baby, finding it heavier than he thought. "Very cute, even cuter than you Reynolds" he says to one of his squirrels, getting some back chat for it. Carefully they're taken from his arms before any peanut butter can drop on their face. (Note: the 'uh' baby covered in pb meme is totally this kid after a day with uncle king)

•Damien is so soft as he lifts your baby into his arms. He holds them to close to his chest, for once his mayor badge not being on, as he was worried about the pin. You all watch with short breaths as the baby's hand reaches up and pats Damien's clean shaven cheek. Damien audibly 'aw's, going weak in the knees, before clearing his throat. "Maybe someone should take them, before I make no rules for this munchkin in my town." He giggles, waving bye as they're taken away

•Bim is good with the baby. Pretending to eat their fingers as they reach up to stroke him. The threat of him gobbling them up becomes a sort of game between them through the next several years. "Aw, I could just eat you up!"

•"VIGHT! Zhat iz enough, i vill take zhem now, before you actually conzume y/n'z child!" He's very methodical with how he holds them, but you know he has a family too, so must have held a baby before. "It iz nice to meet you kliene.. Henrik/Henriketta?" He asks and you shake your head with a laugh.

•Marvin is practically bouncing with excitement when he realises it's his turn. He even takes his mask off, to get the best view of your infant as he holds them in his arms, cooing at them as fluffy toys on strings appear from the air, your child lifting their hands up to grab them. Marvin always uses little tricks to impress your child, or help their life, leading to a lot of shenanigans too.

•"show off." "Yeah, show off!" Even the baby's head turns to see who was speaking, watching the two jims bursting with need to be the next uncles they meet. They constantly swap them between each other, camera man him capturing the entire thing, annoying his twin when he forces them to hold the camera as he plays with your baby. "What a good Jim." "Very Jimmish y/n, good job!"

•jackieboy man is always there to protect your kid. As you pass them over to him you note "you look tired Jackie, and you haven't been the one in 14 hours of labour." He chuckles, saying how he wanted this to be the best palace for your kid to grow up, so he had no sleep cleaning up the streets in preparation for the 'little y/n' as he calls them. Jbm hovers in the air slightly, bouncing with your baby in his arms and they immediately fall into a peaceful sleep. You can see the conflict of sadness he can't coo and wake them, and happiness they fell asleep so easily in his arms

•JJ frantically signs "BE CAREFUL!" As jackieboy is a few inches in the air and you giggle to yourself, taking them from jackies arms as you hand them over to JJ. JJ makes lots of exaggerated facial expressions, your baby keeping eyes on him intrigued. Unfortunately he gets too close and his beautifully styled moustache gets pulled by the tiny. You see his face wincing in pain, not wanting to let go but clearly struggling. You move from under Angeliceye and Light's arms, them trying to give you your strength back as you walked up and helped pry their fists off Jameson's moustache. You try to help him fix it when your baby starts crying, their hands empty and everyone on the room cringes, either because they want to help or the noise is just unbearable.

•light comes up to you with open arms. "Y/n, let me, if you please." He asks, with a kind smile on his face. He waits for you to place the baby in his arms, humming to them as you sit exhausted, but keeping a close eye on your baby, even though you knew nothing would make Light hurt them or let anything hurt them

•Angeliceye comes over, Light offering him a chance to hold them, but Angel notes it's still his turn. Instead, with both their wings wrapped around the baby, angel takes their hand and smiles, their crying quieting. "I know dove, but you were hurting JJ- oh I know you didn't mean to!" There was a pause, enough for someone else to speak before Light giggled "yes you can keep holding on to our hands for a while-" he looked over at Jameson who was looking confused "and yes he's fine, don't you worry little petal." The baby made a small noise, moving in Amgels arms now. "Don't worry, yeah your parent's here, see? Oh there you go!" You didn't see any change in your baby but felt them grip to your shirt as soon as they were in their arms. "C-can you talk to babies?" You squeaked, not sure if you wanted to know the answer at this moment in time.

•And finally, it was Echos turn. He had been crying, more emotional than any android, or even most of the egos, that you knew. You had heard from Phantom, after giving birth, that Echo had been scaring himself with statistics of pain to people giving birth, convincing himself you nor your baby would come home, of course he only expressed these worries after you were both deemed fine. It was quite a few of the egos first babies that they knew, but Echo was one of the most nervous, even though he had all the knowledge in the world. He was so soft in holding them. Singing a song to them he'd read that had thee most calming effect for babies, it was in some foreign language you couldn't quite guess, but his voice was melodic like always. You could feel natemares little fit of jealousy from where you were standing, and elbowed him lightly. Echo held their hand on his own, kissing it softly as he just watched them, crying softly, happy.

•dark chica and light Chica are finally freed and come bounding in. Dark attempts to hush his dogs loud barks as you had placed your child in their baby carrier for the dogs to see. Dark held D!C back, pointing and hissing instructions at her and he firmly held her collar, Light leading L!C to your baby as her tail wagged non stop. She sat down calmly, licking your hand when you pet her in greeting and seeming to take that as an okay she learnt down and sniffed your baby. It gargled with interest. When D!C walked over she immediately became protective. Just like when you were pregnant. You'd had an okay relationship with the dark dog, but as soon as you were with child she'd sit on your lap all day, not letting you get up, and biting anyone hand that came close to your belly

•Even though living in a house with ALL egos will never happen because they’ll murder each other you will definitely come into the nursery to sense an ego outside the window or Anti in the baby monitor, sometimes you’ll even wake up to their crying and find an ego already there with a bottle in hand or cuddling into them, Natemare is singing lullabies a lot, sometimes to you too when you haven’t slept in days, you notice however when they’re crying for a change there almost never seems to be an ego in sight

•So. Many. Piggyback. Rides. Your kid will be on shoulders, being thrown around, swung upside down, tickled to death, they can never get away from the love. Everything this kid needs or wants is provided for them. You tell the egos they’ll end up spoilt so you make sure to raise them with all the correct manners before they get their present/s of the day.

•Once when it was Natemare and Apocalypse’s duty for babysitting they took the kid to the park when they were pushed off the monkey bars by a bully. Natemare rushed over only to get punched in the dick by the bad mannered kid and fall to the floor. A strode up, picked your kid off the sand, stroked said sand off of them a bit roughly with his massive hand but they were used to it with him, and placed the kid on one shoulder, walking away. “Glad you didn’t beat up that six year old sunshine” “Shut up shorty, at least I didn’t get beaten up BY the six year old” (and when Natemare is buying ice cream A totally crouches with the kid on his shoulder so they can ‘complete’ the monkey bars and A even finds the corner of his lips curling up as the bully kid looks dismayed and fails to complete the obstacle themselves)

•Education is obviously paid for, only the best, and even offered by the likes of Google and Phantom who has many an Oxford professor up his sleeve (in his orb)

•When they get older there’s no need to let them know what all these family friends really were because there was no point in keeping it a secret in the first place. If Robbie wasn’t a dead (get it, dead) giveaway, them not aging would have been, plus they like to show off their supernatural powers if the situation arises to protect them (and to make the kid think THEY were the coolest uncle). So many background checks on friends and anyone the kid wants to date but they relax once they know everything is safe since, they get privacy is important and make sure the others do the same, especially Google