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max1u3 · 1 year ago

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Blizzcon 2023 Omg...

First of all here's the video I watched if you want to go watch it yourself, but I'm just gonna outline what I think are the highlights in this post!

youtube

First of all, Blizzard actually serving this Blizzcon like?? Woah there, slow down, are you sure you actually want to deliver what the fanbase wants... you've never done that before but slay.

And secondly, I'm late to this cos your girl put off working on a brief deadline for her degree until the last few days and had to draw like a mad woman. So excuse my late reactions to everything haha

ANYWAYS

THE COMP CHANGES?? LIKE SLAY OMG

Let's be honest, even Blizzard knew the 5 - 15 bracket was shit, and now they're finally getting rid of it, and replacing it with this ->

Like are we actually getting ranked on what we do in the match or is this some kind of amazing dream?

As a hard stuck gold/plat support main with an average of 20k heals a match, this is like some kind of blessing from God.

Plus not to mention the rank reset?? Last time I rank reset, aka made a smurf account that I never used, it was two ranks above my main. I'm going to cry literal tears of joy.

Plus, we're getting these bad boys back ->

She looks a little different but it's ok, we still accept her as the placement matches we know and love.

(I am very sassy today apologies, I have borderline carpool tunnel in my main hand and a backache to slay all backaches so I'm feeling slightly unhinged.)

Then they're also tidying up the competitive challenges tab? Like actually slay!

Like look how clean and sexy she looks like omg. Can't wait to actually understand all that information now that it's feasible to read haha

I'm not as hype about these but they still deserve mentioning ->

Tree guns! Oh wait, I mean Emerald guns. Mb. I think they're just like... meh. Like me and my duo have had long and detailed discussions on how we would improve gold guns. We eventually settled on them progressing in rarity and price. We suggested a gun started at bronze and worked it's way up the ranks like you do in competitive, and each rank would be a thousand more expensive. So obviously Bronze for Bronze, Silver for Silver, Gold for Gold, Platinum with like a purple sheen for Platinum, Diamond with a white and blue reflection for Diamond, then either Ruby or Sapphire for Masters and Grand Masters.

If you hadn't figured it out by my grumbling already in this post, but I'm a digital art student in uni, literally studying concept art, and by gods would my lecturers turn their noses up at the green they chose for this promotional ss.

Personally, I would saturate the colour more, it's much too dark. Sure, up close you can see the colour well, but realistically you want to be able to see the colour in game as well, and the green here is much too dark. I would saturate the colour more, but not too much. There's a thin line between it being a distraction or a flex. Next thing I would do is give it a darker sheen so when it catches certain lights it has a muted sparkle. I say darker so that it doesn't cross the distraction line again, because a lighter sheen would defiantly distract a player.

ANYWAY those are just my thoughts on it as someone studying this stuff at uni :)

I'm not a professional and will never be cos I'm never touching the art industry after this course again lol

Next I just wanna briefly look at the two heroes other than Mauga we got a look at.

Which are obviously Venture ->

Who's a dps who digs underneath the ground and launches out to deal dmg to the enemies.

Personally, I think it's a really innovative idea, and a really nice idea lore wise, but realistically I don't think this is going to play well, and I'm sure we're going to see lots of changes to him before and after he's released.

Also that concept art is just chefs kiss. It's so beautiful, with such clean lines and such an understandable concept. The facial expression is so cute and clean as well, and I already love them just from what I can see.

Oh, they are a they/them as well, so they're slaying.

Then there's 'Space Ranger', which is only a code name, and all we can call her so far ->

Again the beautiful concept art is literally making my drool, the lines are clean, it's understandable, conveys exactly what the artist wants.

I also love the unique UI of having the two guns above. It's also really thrilling to get more of a design perspective, for me at least. Even if I'm not going into the art industry (I'm taking a course to become a teacher after I gradate next year) it's still really exciting to be able to see the processes of it all. Now I can't help but imagine what the rest of the heroes concept art looked like when drawn onto the ss like the image above.

She's also a support by the way, so we support mains are being FED.

Next on my little list that I have here, is the hero mastery updates. Which are all for next year, so 2024.

The first point was that we'd be getting D.va, Lucio, Genji, Echo and Mei maps to master. I've 5 stared all the Mercy courses cos she's one of my mains, and my other is D.va sooooo can't wait to spend 20 hours on that haha.

They've also realised that it being solo can be a bit of an obstacle for groups, so they're adding a tower defence 3v3 vs bots mode. Every season the heroes on the roster for the mode will cycle out, as will the special rewards for completing the game mode every season. Basically, they're trying to make it as replayable every season as possible. Even with the heroes and reward cycles, I still have a sneaking suspicion this is going to end up slightly monotonous.

Here's a ss of the tower defence ->

It's not very clear and that's mb, I forgot to ss until too late lol.

Finally, the last big thing that they discussed was the new game mode 'Clash', plus the re-work of the Hanamura 2cp map for this game mode.

They basically described clash as 5cp, and even with this image it took me a while to get my head around it. Disclaimer, I am dyslexic though lol, so you'll probably get it faster than me.

Basically, (from what I understood from the dev's explanation) all five points will be lined up in a row on the map. When the game starts, team blue will posses 2 points and so will team red. Only point C will be available to cap, and it's a race to see who can claim the point first. Whoever claims the point will then push the enemy teams spawn room back a point, and the next point to claim will be either one to the right/left from the middle. The game ends when one team holds on the points, or the time runs out and whoever holds the most points win. The co-streamer I was watching alongside it said it resembled a tft game mode, but since I've never played tft I can't vouch for that.

I actually really like this idea, and it actually does remind me of 2cp quite a lot. It has a very nostalgic OW feeling just to the description.

Moving on, we have the Hanamura re-work, which is last, but not least.

They've adjusted the map in a way that supposedly makes it feel organic and not just a re-work of Hanamura itself. Basically, they've expanded off the main map, left some noticeable features and vibes to the map, and dropped the previous map into the background. It's a very smart way to evolve a map in all honesty.

This map has been designed specifically for Clash and will be called Hanaoko (sorry if I'm butchering that, they didn't write it down anywhere and only said the name).

Normally, I won't be too bothered to write so much about a new map, but bro this is Hanamura! I adore Hanumura, so, so, so much! I miss 2cp and all those maps so badly. It's nice to see them evolving the concept to incorporate those nostalgic elements for OW1 players.

What also interested me was that they talked more about the Hanamura lore. Naturally, there's a lot of it. With the Shimada brothers, the Hashimoto Shimada fight for dominance, and Kiriko with her Yokai gang. They specifically mentioned more lore for those three groups which got my very excited. They also mentioned, and I feel stupid for not noticing this cos it's obvious once it's pointed out), but all the dragons and tigers on the map are symbolic. They represent the struggle between the Shimada (dragons) and Hashimoto (tigers) clans when they're fighting. Like in this photo ->

So, it's official, we are being well and truly fed this Blizzcon. I can't wait for ranked to actually feel rewarding again.

Here's a random Tracer play from OW1 to finish of the post :)

#overwatch #ow2 #overwatch 2 #ow #Blizzcon #Youtube

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erwinsvow · 4 years ago

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𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 | 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧

author's note: sorry i just cannot stop writing headcanons! it's my favorite thing to write. i really hope everyone enjoys these, they include things from these two works of mine as well :) -shea

𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐢𝐧

very much the involved boyfriend

once you guys finally start dating, he just immediately wants you guys to merge lives and share friends, even though that’s not a simple process

but it’s really because he cares about you so deeply he doesn’t want there to be a part of his life that you’re just not involved in

therefore; very involved

you guys manage your schedules together and plan out dinners and dates in advance

he mostly really likes having something to look forward too, like time with you

the kind of boyfriend that remembers little stuff you say here and there

like if you mention your mom’s birthday is coming up, he’ll ask later what you’re getting her and suggest some ideas. probably would send your mom flowers too to earn brownie points

or if you have a stressful week with exams and papers, he’ll stop by randomly with coffee and a snack and a hug

i honestly don’t see jean as the kind of boyfriend to start/carry on a fight, because he would hate knowing that you two are upset with each other. so i think any fights would be resolved pretty quickly

if one did happen to go over night or last a few days, he would definitely apologize first and bring you flowers, even if you were the one who started it

honestly though, with a guy like jean, what is there to fight about

overall, just a super caring boyfriend that makes the little stuff the memorable stuff

𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐭

the! best! boyfriend! ever!

i see armin as the ideal caring boyfriend

he just really likes to have someone to take care of, and he is also really touched that someone trusts him enough to ensure their heart to him

so he takes every measure to make sure he’s being the best partner he can be

a lot of emotional sharing, and i feel like would happen pretty early on as well

only because he is so trustworthy and you know you can tell him everything on your mind, even stuff that you maybe haven’t told anyone else

this just makes your relationship progress even further. you two are the couple that has been dating for a month but knows they are going to be together for a long time

speaking of, you are the mom and the dad of the friend group, which is so adorable but calls for a lot of teasing from your friends

but armin knows he’s going to marry you one day, so he just laughs when eren cracks another joke about it

𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐧

i’ll be real, this relationship is definitely not the easiest

reiner definitely loves you, don’t get me wrong, but a big part of him probably thinks he doesn’t deserve someone like you to care about him

which isn’t easy in a relationship because i feel like he would try and distance himself from getting too attached in the beginning

maybe he just thinks you’re going to see through him and realize you don’t want this anymore (which is not true at all, but just his intrusive thoughts)

i think you would try to reassure him about your feelings and how much you want this relationship, but then he feels like you shouldn’t have to reassure him, and that you shouldn’t be in the kind of relationship where you have to reassure the person. basically he thinks you deserve someone better, and you know that there is no one better for you

eventually i think this reaches a breaking point. through a lot of angst and honesty and tears, you two finally work it out

i think after clearing things up, things take a huge turn for the better

he definitely learns that there’s nothing wrong with being a relationship where you have to take care of each other, and he’s definitely thankful that you continued to stand by him

so sorry about this angst, but on the bright side, this man would be such a devoted boyfriend

his friends definitely make fun of him for looking at you like you hung the stars and moon in the sky

i also think all this angst would lead to you two being really open and vulnerable with each other, which is really important to him

also definitely a mama’s boy and can’t wait to introduce you to her

just like armin, he knows you’re gonna be his wife someday

𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫

even though i think it would take eren a long time to settle down and commit to a healthy, long-term relationship, once he does, he would be a great boyfriend

he is a really caring guy, and i feel like part of his hesitance is about opening up to someone if they’re just gonna leave

but i think he can tell early on that this would be different

i have a feeling his love language is quality time, and so you two are always planning little things together

he especially loves last-minute, impromptu dates that arise from a random thought

like he’ll grab two sandwiches and take you to the beach at sunset, even if you just got home or had something to get done

or knock on your door at midnight and take you to the nearest roof to stargaze together

i feel like eren is the boyfriend who becomes your closest friend over time

you guys go to each other first when you need to rant or talk or babble endlessly

it’s an interesting dynamic but it works well for you guys

the kind of bf that people assume he’s a single bachelor and will stay that way forever, or people don’t believe that he’s settled down, and then when they see you two together they’re shocked

𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐜�� 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭

you and marco have the most wholesome relationship

if i had to picture anyone whose relationship feels like the honeymoon phase even after a whole year, it is marco

he has a habit of making every small date, every meeting or interaction just feel so special, like every day is a special occasion

the kind of boyfriend who gets you a promise ring early on with every intention of replacing it with an engagement ring and wedding band one day

a big moment for him is introducing you to his friends! he knows they’ll love you, and he just wants you to meet the other most important people in his life

especially you and jean, this boy would be on cloud nine seeing you two get along so well. makes him super happy and teary-eyed

the responsible bf who takes care of everything for you, even little, everyday things so you don’t have to worry about it

like making sure there’s a cup of water on the nightstand when you go to bed, or setting an extra alarm to make sure you don’t oversleep, or reminding you about a deadline

overall just <3 boyfriend marco

𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧

the nonchalant, cool boyfriend who has to hide how sappy he actually is

pretends like he’s not nervous as all hell on your first date. acts like you leaning into him on the walk back home, or kissing his cheek at your doorstep before you say good night isn’t giving him heart palpitations.

also majorly touch-starved. after you two really open up to each other, which happens way sooner than he expected, it’s hard for him to keep his hands away from you.

he’s reserved in public, a simple arm around you waist or hands interlaced while you guys are out

but when you’re in the privacy of your home, it’s almost instinctual for him to pull you close

he loves when you lay your head on his chest, but nothing compares to when you let him lay his head on yours.

you stroke his hair and sit in silence, appreciating the quiet mumble of the television and the sound of each other breathing

always falls asleep like this, and he’s never been much of a nap guy, but ever since he met you, he’s reformed

not to mention your skin is always so warm and soft, and his is always on the colder side, so he’s just drawn to you

also i see him as the kind of guy who proposes out of nowhere, like you aren’t expecting it at all after a quiet dinner together at home, you’re getting up to grab dessert and he pulls out a ring

“how about dessert and naps for as long as we both shall live?”

𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐨 𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐝

once again, pock tries to put on a tough facade but we all know he’s just a softie on the inside

in fact, it’s a little while into your relationship that you notice him softening up with you, trying less hard to seem like someone else and getting more comfortable around you

you definitely don’t mention it, because you don’t want him to realize how you’ve been noticing it lately, but it definitely makes your chest feel warm and fuzzy at the thought of him being more himself

it’s not long at all before you can’t even see any semblance of that tough guy you met for the first time

the kind of whipped boyfriend that carries your bags when you go shopping, grabs your coffee order on the way to visit you, and likes to have quiet nights in more than going out

your favorite memories with him include watching rom-coms and munching on popcorn in his apartment, everyone else out and about on a saturday night

the leftover pizza is sitting on the counter, and you turn to go put it away when you notice pock teary-eyed at the movie!

yes, this boy cries at sappy romantic movies and you regret ever putting on the notebook that one night because you wanted to get laid after and that just did not happen because he was crying too much

but also just treats you so right and has every intention of being the best boyfriend he can, doesn’t ever want to do anything to hurt you and is highkey very glad he met you and has someone to be so open and comfortable with!

𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫

can you spell boyfriend material.

the most comforting, wholesome boyfriend in the world. you actually can’t believe he’s single when you guys meet for the first time, because there’s just no way.

this is the take him home to meet your parents guy, introduce him to your friends right away guy because you know it’s serious

i talked about how bertholdt is the bf who just listens to your talks and rambles for as long as you need to, and always offers advice and sweet words, but he really does take it to the next level

lets you cry it out when you need to, rubbing your back and hair softly and not minding when his shirt is covered in tears

or alternatively lets you rant about your annoying professor or a terribly rude stranger or whatever else is plaguing your mind today

texts you every day asking how you’re doing, always calls you before bed if you guys aren’t together

he just has the ability to make you feel so heard and seen

and of course you never forget to take care of him, as well. it makes for a really comfortable dynamic.

very easy to imagine spending the rest of your life with him despite the fact that he has kicked you off the bed multiple times in his sleep

𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐡

alternatively, husband material

takes all of five minutes into having a conversation with him to realize this is a responsible, mature guy

which are usually far and few between

i’d like to think he’s similar to marco in the way that he likes to make sure things are taken care for you, he likes to get things off of your shoulders even though you feel like you should be doing it for him instead

this translates to a lot of checking in phone calls, making sure you’ve eaten dinner and haven’t skipped meals because of your busy schedule

always makes time for you and especially loves having date nights every saturday, it’s wonderful when you haven’t been able to see him all week

anyways, you get engaged and married so fast bc you just had to snatch him up

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karmilleryn · 2 years ago

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Spoiler alert for “Heartstopper” and “Boyfriend Material” / trigger warning for ED

Another parallel (yes, the day I wrote that was a non-capitalizing day and today just is, sorry for the inconsistency, welcome to my chaotic brain/tumblr lol) I loved between “Heartstopper” and “Boyfriend Material” was the male eating disorder rep. I’d literally never read that in a book before, so I was then very pleasantly surprised to find it in both of those books when I read them for the first time recently. And they’re written about very different ages, so it was nice to see that rep across both demographics.

In fact, crossovers aren’t normally my thing, but this popped into my head and then it wouldn’t leave:

What if Charlie and Oliver were to go to the same practice for their therapy? I don’t remember if either book mentioned whereabouts in the UK they’re supposed to be living, but it’s probably not realistic to think they’d live near each other, and I have no idea if it’s realistic that there might be a practice that has that type of therapy for both adolescents and adults, but at least I figured they would probably see different therapists who specialize in their respective age groups (not to mention it worked for the purpose of them waiting to go in at the same time for this tidbit lol… it at least feels realistic that they would be going at the same time of day, after school for Charlie and after work for Oliver) ((I also have no firsthand experience with these issues, just secondhand, so obviously someone let me know if this just way off.)) (((Also hopefully this comes off as big brother-little brother-y or just nice human interaction bc they can relate to each other and give each other hope for the future, and not weirdly anything else with their age difference lol - otherwise, again, someone please let me know.))):

They’re both waiting in the same waiting room at the same time to go in to their appointments, and they happen to be in chairs that are facing each other.

They both have their faces buried in their phones, both to kill time and to avoid feeling even more awkward while they wait.

But at some point, Oliver feels eyes on him and glances up and Charlie’s looking at him with what Oliver reads as a look of pity.

He mutters a soft, dejected “Christ” as he puts his face in his hands.

Charlie: “Sorry?” Half as a question and half as an apology for whatever he apparently did to cause this man grief.

“I’m sorry, I just… I was already having a bit of a day, and receiving the pity of an adolescent is just the icing on the cake of how pathetic I feel.”

“Oh, no, that wasn’t pity! I swear! I… I’m sorry that it came across that way, but it was actually… relief. And… inspiration.”

(sarcastically) “Right. What on earth about me could possibly cause such feelings? Me being so much older than you, and being here, should be the opposite of inspiring, no?”

“No! It’s a relief, because sometimes I hate that I need to come here at all, that I need this help. I feel like I should be able to have my shit together. But seeing you here makes me realize that even some people older than me have the same or similar struggles, and probably don’t have their shit together either, so it should also be okay for me. And that there’s not necessarily a deadline for feeling like I need to get my shit together as far as getting older. And I often feel like I shouldn’t need to come here, that I shouldn’t need this help, but if someone older can admit that they need the same help, then I should be able to as well. So that’s the, um, inspiration part. Sorry, I feel like I’m talking in circles, and anyway, sorry, I’ll leave you alone now.”

“No, it’s okay. That’s nice of you to say. You seem to say sorry a lot.”

“S- yeah. It’s something my boyfriend and I have been working on, but it’s a hard habit to break.”

“Hey, nobody’s perfect. That’s something my boyfriend is helping me work on. And anyway, I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions or projecting or whatever. Like I said, I’ve had a bit of a day, and obviously I’ve got some other stuff to work through too. I’m Oliver, by the way. Nice to meet you.”

“No way, that my little brother’s name! I’m Charlie. Nice to meet you too.”

“Well, your brother’s got a great name, then. Do you like having a little brother?” (Charlie nods) “I always thought it would be nice. I just got stuck with an older brother, and most of the time he’s a right git.” (they both laugh) “But anyway, at the risk of sounding too much like a grownup, I wouldn’t worry too much about the future. I think you’ve got a bright one ahead of you. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and being here getting help now is a good start. Better than I can say for myself. If I’d gotten help at your age, maybe I wouldn’t still be dealing with this now, eh?”

“But then I wouldn’t have met you here and been inspired by you, so that’s something at least, right?”

“Yeah, that’s true I guess. Silver lining and all that.”

At that moment, Oliver’s therapist steps into the room and calls him back.

“See you around, then.”

“Yeah, see you.”

And Oliver walks into his appointment feeling a little bit lighter.

[Edit: The ED and the fact that Oliver now sees a professional about that among other things definitely comes up in “Husband Material,” so I’d like to think this is still definitely a possibility! ☺️ (But I don’t think that really spoils anything for that book, so I’m not adding that to the warning in the title. Let me know if you think that should change!)]

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buckyownsmylife · 4 years ago

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Diving Bell - Andy Barber smut

The one where Andy has been a patient librarian, but now that you’ve accepted his advances...

Warnings: smut, breeding kink, dubcon, (andy pushes the relationship into boundaries that weren’t previously consented), age gap, (reader is over eighteen and in college), semi-public sex, somewhat of an exhibitionism kink, oral (f), andy’s definitely dark but reader is generally into it, she just doesn’t know what “it” will be, dirty talk

Word count: 3k<

A/N: this is for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them, instead of on Thursdays, which are my usual one-shot posting days. Hope you guys like it!

Reader’s P.O.V.

My face burned and I wondered how I hadn’t spontaneously combusted from how hot I felt under the hot new librarian’s gaze. Sure, the girls had warned me about it - I’d hear so much about him, in fact, that I was sure I’d be disappointed when I actually did manage to meet him.

Boy, was I wrong.

He was the definition of daddy, luscious beard and hair just begging to be pulled and I could feel the burn his jaw would leave behind if he deposited kisses down my neck - or better yet, on the insides of my thighs - but he was at least twenty years older than me.

There was absolutely no way I’d ever catch his attention. Not when so many girls had tried to get in his pants - girls hotter than me - and had failed miserably, as I’d been told time and time again from the very same seductresses.

So I saw absolutely no point in trying. Although, one could very well admire, right? Also, fantasize couldn’t do any harm, not even to my extremely vulnerable pride. It’s not like I could control it, anyway.

But another thing I couldn’t control was his effect on me. The way my whole body warmed up when I felt his eyes on it, how I couldn’t immediately focus on his words whenever he addressed me. I even stopped coming to the library to study because 1) I couldn’t concentrate with him around and 2) his presence had brought a whole new wave of first-time library users, and seeing as their interests weren’t on the actual books, they tended to be extremely loud.

Once essays started to get assigned though, there wasn’t much I could do. I had to get back to the library, and so I chose to go when it was already dark, hoping he wouldn’t pick up that shift, and knowing most frat girls would be at an impromptu Thursday-night party to celebrate (once again) the start of classes.

I didn’t understand why they couldn’t just throw a party for the sake of partying. Did they have to reuse the same excuse, over and over again? It’s not like anyone cared. I certainly didn’t, and the people who went for the free beer didn’t care about anything just as long as the alcohol kept flowing.

“What are you doing here?” His voice startled me, almost making me drop the pile of books I’d been gathering. Even though there was no way I’d confuse him with someone else, I still looked over my shoulder to make sure it was really him, that he was actually there, staring at me with those caring warm brown eyes.

“S-should I be anywhere else?” I tried to sass, even if my own voice gave me away. He chuckled though, extending a hand to help me with the load in my arms, and although I hesitated for a second, I ended up accepting his help. It was his job, after all. This couldn’t really be considered flirting, right?

“I don’t know. I’ve heard about this party tonight, figured you’d be there.” Frowning, I finally turned to stare at him directly in the eyes, almost immediately regretting my decision. Damn, he looked good.

“How do you know about the party?” I asked, and his lips immediately curled up, trying to contain a smile from stretching over his face.

“Some girls may or may not have invited me to meet them there.” Clicking my tongue, I decided to look back at the bookshelf, instead of paying him any more attention.

“Why? Are you jealous?” The question felt too much like something a fuckboy my age might ask me at a party, not a forty-year-old man who worked a full-time job. When I turned to look at him again, eyebrows raised high, he chuckled.

“Sorry, that’s not usually my style… I’m just at a loss of ways to get you to notice me, that’s all.” Well, now I was beyond shocked.

“Why do you want me to notice you?” I asked, utterly confused, but Andy just laughed, shaking his head at me like he was profoundly amused by my ways.

“I always notice when you’re around. Even worse, I always notice when you aren’t.” And then, as he looked around like he wanted to make sure other people wouldn’t hear him, he leaned over me and confessed, “It gets pretty lonely here without you.”

The accompanying wink almost gave me a heart attack. Stuttering out something even though I didn’t know what to say, I moved away from the bookshelf in search of the nearest table, finding it thankfully empty.

When I turned around to look for him again, he was right by my side.

“I don’t get it,” I managed to admit once my arms were book-free. “We’ve talked like twice. You helped me find books, I acted like a fool. You weren’t supposed to flirt with me, why aren’t you interested in the college girls who actually hit on you?”

He raised his eyebrows before frowning, hands deep in his pockets as he stared down at me in all of his height. “Have you ever considered… that I just don’t want them?”

The insinuation stirred something deep inside of me, leaving me flushed and overall a mess. Stumbling out an apology, I gathered my stuff and left as quickly as possible, determined to process what had happened that evening by myself, so it could actually feel real and I could decide what to do from then on.

But something changed ever since that evening. I stopped trying to run away from him and started to actively go to the library in the times I knew he was there, at first still avoiding him and looking away every time he caught me staring, silently grateful that he didn’t try to force me to open up to him.

His patience was rewarded when in a few weeks, I began to talk to him again. Asking him for book recommendations, never anything other than what was strictly related to his job, but the way his eyes glinted knowingly at me warned me that he did understand where my mind was at.

It didn’t take long for him to start flirting with me, and from then on, I slowly accepted his advances and even began to eagerly wait for them.

I smiled widely when I heard his low whistle, admiring the way he looked in that comfortable sweater as he put away the books he was holding to fully give me all of his attention.

“Well, don’t you look incredible?” He asked as I twirled so he could fully see the dress I’d put on just for him. “Did you dress up for me, pretty girl? Because I like to think that you did.”

Biting my lower lip, I tried to gather the courage I’d been trying to build up all week, before finally nodding and admitting, “Yes, I did.” From the stupefied look on his face, it didn’t seem like he was expecting that. Even worse, I wasn’t expecting the outcome of my little attempt to flirt back.

“I’m going to kiss you now.” And that was all the warning I got before his hands cradled my face and he took my mouth in his, kissing me breathless, leaving me aching and soaked when he finally released me.

I was panting by the time he let go of my lips, and he smiled softly at me as he brushed over my cheekbones, saying, “You know… if you ever need anything… You know I’m always here to help.”

Andy’s P.O.V.

“So, what brings you here tonight?” My own smile denounced just how much of her intentions I already knew, from how well I knew her. Her late-night visits to the library had become more and more frequent, and I couldn’t say that I hated it.

“I don’t know,” she feigned nonchalance, shrugging while perusing the bookshelves before looking back at me from over her shoulder. “The hot new librarian in charge of the night shift has told me he was always available to help me with anything I needed, and I’ve been needing a distraction.”

My chuckle was low, in order not to interrupt the few students still trying to finish whatever assignment they were working on, but she heard it. I watched as she shivered at the sound of my voice, prompting me to lick my lips at the powerful reaction I could so easily elicit from her.

“You didn’t use to be so blunt,” I teased, remembering how she used to come in here looking for me, only to run away at the last second. It was adorable. Ever since I started working at this university, it wasn’t unusual for college girls to come in groups and watch me from a distance, their giggles whenever I glanced at them unmistakable in the almost completely silent environment. Eventually, one or two would always break away from the group and try to flirt while their friends became a captive audience, but I was quick to shut them down.

They weren’t the one I wanted. She was standing in front of me now, pretending to be interested in a random book, biting her lower lip to keep a smile from spreading over her face. “Do you miss it?”

There was something undeniably attractive by her shyness back then, her inability to ask me for information or even sustain my gaze, but now that I knew what it was like to have her meet my eyes, now that I’d had the luxury of hearing her speak, of getting to know the intricacies of her mind, how could I miss what was, back then, a stranger?

“Not at all.” Her laughter, even subdued because of the place we were in, was enough to have my stomach doing backflips. I had to smile, instinctively getting closer to her, just like a moth, drawn to a flame.

“I want to do dirty, dirty things to you,” I admitted, one hand on the back of her head as I pressed her against the bookshelf, my lips just over her ear as my beard undoubtedly tickled her neck. “Can’t very well protect my soul if I’m still thinking about you as an innocent little thing, now can I?”

Her eyes dropped down to my lips before meeting mine again, and just like that, I had all the authorization I needed to connect our lips and kiss her breathless. Humming in delight against her quiet neediness, her eagerness to open her lips, welcome my tongue with hers, I blindly moved us further towards the back of the library, relaxed in the knowledge that amongst taxidermia books no one would come to check on us.

Not that I cared all that much if they did.

“Hm… Want me, sweetheart?” I pressed, needing to hear her say it, taking sick pleasure in knowing this came from her, this was her own desire. She almost didn’t answer me, eyelids heavily pressing her eyes closed when our mouths parted, but in the absence of my touch on her, she jolted.

“Yeah, I do! I do, I do…” She insisted, pressing herself against me, feeling just how badly I wanted her too. It made her gasp, witnessing how hard she had made me - she didn’t know it yet, but it’d been this way ever since the first day.

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” I whispered, just to see the way goosebumps took over her flesh while I got rid of her underwear, moving us towards an empty table where I could lay her out to take.

“No, I don’t want you to stop,” she moaned when she saw me leaning over to kiss between her legs, eyes still connected to hers until she closed them to throw her head back, overtaken by the sensation of my warm tongue slipping between her folds. It was better that way, she wouldn’t see the dangerous smirk that denounced that she would come to regret her words before I was done with her.

She tasted just as sweet as I always imagined her to. So wet already, it was clear she was desperate for me. The cock straining against my pants reminded me I couldn’t be too cocky about it - I wanted her just as badly.

“C’mon, honey…” I teased, dipping my tongue in her hole as my thumb frantically rubbed her tiny clit. “Give me more, I want more.” I needed her to cum before I could shove my cock into her. It was important.

The sudden tension of her thighs denounced the arrival of her orgasm, and where usually I’d love nothing more than to keep licking her, delighting myself with her taste and overstimulating her sweet body until she was crying, there was only so much I could take tonight.

“There you go,” I complimented when she easily succumbed to my directions, having turned her around and laid her with her stomach on the table, legs dangling off of it. “Want to feel me now, pretty girl? Want me to fill you now?”

Her answer was a whine as her hips searched for mine. She was offering herself to me, the innocent little thing. Didn’t know I’d take her regardless of it.

I had the instinct of slapping my hand over her mouth as I penetrated her, and so her moan came out muffled. I could still understand a breathless, “so good…” being uttered against my palm, and it only made me bite down on my lip harder, so my own sounds wouldn’t reverberate across the silent library.

It was a twisted kind of pleasure to hold her arms back as I fucked her roughly but as silently as possible, trying not to make the table squeak so it wouldn’t draw attention to us. Even though I didn’t particularly care if someone did find us - I wouldn’t stop fucking her if God himself tried to intervene - I’d prefer to reach my goal without unwanted interferances.

So I was glad she didn’t seem to mind the fact that anyone could easily look our way and see us fucking. Had I really tempted her that much, that she would let me do whatever I wanted to her body, just as long as I fucked her?

Guess I was about to find out.

“Do you know how many times I masturbated in the back room, thinking about this sweet pussy?” I asked, voice raspy with desire as I kept jackhammering her as quietly as possible, but probably failing to do so in the midst of my arousal. “To think I finally have it now, wrapped around my dick…” My voice faltered as I realized all of my dreams were about to come true, right at that moment.

“Can’t wait to fuck my cum back into you, sweetheart. I’m gonna keep you so full from now on.” I felt her body tense underneath my fingers as she processed my words, but it was too late for her now. My hand still over her mouth, I stopped her from screaming or fighting me in any way.

“Just relax, honey. Doesn’t it feel so good?” I mocked, fucking her harder and harder as my control slipped from me. “It feels good for me, too. So now you’ll have to take it.”

Reaching around for her clit, I started rubbing it in quick little motions, desperate to feel her cunt clenching around me once more, milking my cum.

“C’mon, pretty girl. Cum again for me. Let me keep making you feel good as you do the same for me.” Her orgasm had her legs raising between mine, right when I started to spill inside of her, my eyes rolling to the back of my head. Once I was sure she wouldn’t scream, I took my hand away and pushed her back against the desk, massaging her ass eagerly, hoping it would take.

“You’ll look so good all round with my child.” Once I pulled my cock from her, I made sure to adjust her underwear so it would stop my cum from flowing, massaging the damp tissue with a smug expression.

She managed to turn around in my embrace, blinking confusedly, mouth opening and closing as if she couldn’t quite figure out what she wanted to say, and I cooed at her adorableness.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll take good care of you and the little one.” I rubbed my hand over where she would soon grow, licking my lips at the mental image of her pregnant. God, why did that make me so hard?

“You can trust me,” I assured her, pulling her closer to I could kiss her forehead, before adjusting her body so it rested on mine. I knew there were tears rolling down her cheeks, but it was just from her coming down from the adrenaline high. She wanted this. She just needed to be able to think clearly to see just how perfect this would be. “We’ll be so happy together.”

#tw dubcon #My 2k challenge #my fics #andy barber smut #librarian au #andy barber #smut #andy barber x reader #andy barber reader #andy barber reader insert #andy barber reader inserts #andy barber x y/n #andy barber x you

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emanueltheodorus · 3 years ago

Note

hmmm

• you’ve been having a difficult n stressful day at work/school today, plus your deadline is due at 12 am so you just have to finish your work

• but your boyfriends here, and he’ll be leaving tomorrow for another concert. so naturally, he wants to spend time with you

• he’ll pester you a bit, until you snap at him. obviously a bit hurt, he’ll mumble an apology and disappear into the bedroom

• you finish your work, and instantly feel bad for lashing out

• after apologizing, you two end up cuddling each other and falling asleep

• but like imagine running your fingers through his hair

• IMAGINE

• i bet its so damn soft

• and he’ll grab ahold of your hand to make sure you’re still there <33

• if you fall asleep before him, he’ll whisper little i love yous even though you cant hear

i hope this was good luvie <33

Finally I'm done, yay

Stressful Times (Taemanuel Hurt/Comfort Fic)

Summary: Emanuel is busy doing his work and when Tae Young keeps pestering about wanting to be with him, he accidentally blows up at him. Cue apologizing and tons of cuddling afterwards.

Warnings: Not much. Just a few hurt stuff.

“Shit.”

I looked at my homework, and I realized I need to finish it quickly. It’s 9 PM and my homework’s due at 12 AM. I only need to type in a few paragraphs left and I should be done, but it’s taking so long that I started to lose my mind over it.

“Em… can I cuddle you?”

I heard Tae’s voice calling me from behind. I’d really love to accept my boyfriend’s offer, but I’m not done yet and I need to finish it as soon as possible.

“Sorry, not now babe. I’m trying to finish my work as soon as possible, okay?”

“Ema-형, tomorrow I will leave for a concert and I won’t be able to meet you soon. Can I at least get a cuddle?”

“Sorry Tae, but I really need to finish this right now-”

“형, you’ve been busy the whole day and-”

“Tae, please…”

“I really wanna be with you right now.”

“I know, but-”

“Can I just get one moment with you-”

“I KNOW TAE! BUT RIGHT NOW I’VE GOT WORK TO DO! CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A WHILE???”

After that outburst, everything went silent for a few minutes. I noticed the hurt look in his eyes, and I immediately felt so baf.

“Tae, I’m sorry, I-”

“Nonono, I get it. It’s fine, Ema-형. Finish your work, okay? I’ll be waiting in the bedroom.”

And then I look at his timid look, and before he quietly disappears as well.

“...Sorry for disturbing you.”

I was a bit shaken by it. But I have no time to waste because it’s almost due time and I haven’t done it yet.

After typing a few paragraphs, I was finally done with the work. Whew. That took me a while.

I submitted my work and it’s all finished.

Now it's time to go back to the bedroom and greet my boyfriend… and also apologize to him for snapping earlier.

I quietly open the bedroom, and there I see Tae slumped in the bedroom. He still looked pretty shaken and down after my initial outburst.

I can’t help but start to tear up seeing my boyfriend in that condition. I accidentally hurt him and it’s all my fault. And now I wish nothing more than to make up for it.

“...Tae?”

He looks up at me, and still has that sad look on his face.

“Ema-형, I-”

And without saying anything, I immediately hugged him and broke down crying. The immense guilt for hurting him is way too much and I can’t hold it back anymore.

“Tae- I’m… I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that!”

Tae ran his hand through my back to try to comfort me, and he muttered a few words too.

“It’s okay Eman… I know you’re just tired…”

After minutes of crying and comforting, I dried my tears up and offered Tae his long-waited wish.

“Tae… would you like to cuddle with me?

Tae immediately beamed up in response and responded excitedly.

“Of course, Ema-형! I’ve been waiting for this!”

And so, I started to snuggle Tae and nuzzled his face. It felt so warm and soft to cuddle him like this. After a long day of work, I really needed this.

I ran my fingers through Tae’s hair and felt just how soft it was. I looked at Tae’s face and I can’t help but to smile when he has the biggest level of joy I’ve seen.

I kissed him one last time on the forehead as I muttered one last “I love you” to him.

“I love you, Tae”

He kissed me back and also muttered his loving words.

“Love you too, 형.”

We slowly closed our eyes, enjoying the warm embrace with each other as we drift to sleep that night.

Even if it’s our last moment together, we spent every second of it with so much love and joy.

#4town taeyoung #taemanuel #tae young x emanuel #turning red 4town

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blxetsi · 3 years ago

Text

armin arlert, mikasa ackerman, and eren jaeger polyamorous headcanons (modern au)

armin arlert x gn!reader, mikasa ackerman x gn!reader, eren jaeger x gn!reader, mikasa x armin x eren x gn!reader

warnings: uhh fluff, this is very long, reader has a gf b4 getting w ema,

this is like my first post since feb that isnt a request 😍😍😍 how did i pull this out of my ass

- obv eren, mikasa, and armin have been besties since childhood so its no wonder they all got together first 🤩🙏

- and theyre all hot so why wouldnt they wanna date each other

- i think armin and eren wouldve gotten together first, and then invited mikasa into their relationship

- the three of them have been officially going steady for like over a year now, and its going really well

- they didnt really expect you to drop into their lives tho

- youre an old friend of historia's and you two reconnected after you moved to the city, securing yourself a decent paying job working as a writer for the city paper

- you usually get the boring stuff, never able to get a good story to write about, focusing your time on heartwarming stories in the community or the sports column

- its boring but it pays the bills

- you were thankful when historia called you during your lunch and asked if you wanted to get drinks at a bar with her and a couple of other friends

- of course you said yes

- so historia and her girlfriend ymir picked you up after work, having dinner with them after a long week was the best, but you were a bit nervous to meet all of their friends

- thats how you met eren, mikasa and armin

- at first you were sure that mikasa and eren were dating, seeing as mikasa had her head on the taller man's shoulder, while his arm was wrapped around her

- but when armin leaned down to give mikasa a kiss before heading off to the bar you werent so sure

- ymir pulled you away to get more drinks and explained to you what the situation was, while commenting on the way you gawked at the three of them before

- you were embarassed to say the least but they didnt bring it up that night so you hoped the throuple didnt notice (they did)

- you really hit it off with all of them though, especially sasha and jean, and were constantly talked about among the friend group

- because of your demanding job dealing with writers block and deadlines you couldnt really meet up with all of them often, usually just having sleepovers at ymir and historia's apartment, the three of you drinking while you wrote on your laptop

- after a couple months of casual hangouts with historia and ymir and their friends, you kinda became one of them too which was nice

- you were added to the groupchat, you all followed each other on social media, and a certain brunet had taken a liking to you

- eren didnt know why exactly he was so attracted to you but he was, maybe it was your hair, or how pretty your skin looked even when oily or with breakouts, maybe it was your smile or your body or your sense of humor or you kindness or maybe it was all of it

- eren jaeger would always stay faithful to his boyfriend and girlfriend, but maybe they could add another person into the mix, more to love right ?

- he had only known you for a couple of months though, he didnt want to jump the gun and bring this up with his partners so soon, especially if they didnt feel the same way he did

- and it would be a bummer if you turned out to be a bad person or smth

- so summer rolls around with lots of memories being made with your new friends, as well as friends from work, and you get a girlfriend ??

- shes not really your girlfriend you two have only been out on a couple of dates and she kisses you a lot but, you havent talked about labels

- one night you, along with your friends are back at the same bar where you first met them

"so, tell us about the girl youre seeing." ymir says, smirking over her beer.

eren's ears perked up at the mention of you seeing someone. "girl ?"

historia nodded. "mhm ! y/n's been talking to someone recently, they've gone on dates and kissed and stuff."

"and stuff, jesus tori you make it sound like we've had sex." you sighed.

the blonde just laughed, leaning her body onto her freckled companion.

"well ? what about her ?" eren asks. armin slapped him on the arm, already having suspicions about eren's interest in you.

your shoulders sagged. "well, she's great and everything, truly..."

"but ? is there a but in this ?" connie asked. sasha started laughing at connie's use of the word but, while jean slapped the girl on the arm because of her reaction.

you shrugged, swirling what was left of your fruity cocktail in your glass. "well, i'm not sure. she's very lively, and sweet. but i don't know, i just don't see myself being able to be in a steady relationship with her."

"so you're gonna end it ?" eren asked. you thought he seemed a bit too eager about your failure in the love department.

"why do you care so much ? you like the thought of me being lonely ?" you shot back, before downing the rest of your drink.

"no i just-"

"i think what eren means is," mikasa intervened, her smooth voice calming you as she looked at you with a smile on her face. "is that there's no point in staying with her if you can't see yourself with her. don't lead her on."

you nodded. "you're exactly right my friend. which is the plan for tonight because i," you quickly checked the time on your phone. 8:17. "have a date with miss molly at nine, so i will be taking my leave."

the group engaged in a chorus of boos for leaving so early, while you chuckled and took the lighthearted insults thrown at you by sasha and connie with ease. grabbing all of your things you put down two twenties onto the table. "i'll see you guys later, have a goodnight." as you walked off you heard jean yell "have a good time you heartbreaker !" making you shake your head

- the date with molly went less then well. she yelled, and cried, and even tried hitting you at one point. your walk back from the park was spent blocking her on every form of social media you followed her on, and when you got back to your apartment you spent the night in a hot bath before retiring to bed

- meanwhile, armin and mikasa were trying to pry the truth out of eren, who was constantly denying his attraction to you

- finally mikasa took one for the team "eren, you aren't alone with the way you feel, i do too." this made eren more willing to open up to his partners

- armin doesnt say anything about you, only saying how youre kind. he doesnt feel the way that his girlfriend and boyfriend do, but he knows that may change

- soon enough, more time flies and christmas rolls around, with you all deciding to have a secret santa get together.

- historia invites everyone to her home on christmas eve, with ymir begrudgingly allowing it

- bertholdt and annie come too, reiner not being able to make it due to going home for christmas, while everyone else decided to stay in the city

- you picked out your secret santas at the beginning of november so you would all have enough time to find something for each other, you hoped whoever picked your name gave you something good

- after hours of games and karaoke and drinking you all decided it was time to open the presents

- ymir got socks from bertholdt, connie got an ugly beanie from ymir, historia got new pens from mikasa, mikasa got knitting needles from annie, annie got a dumbell from eren, jean got a not so appropriate t shirt from connie, jean gave sasha more comic books, armin gave new stationary paper to bertholdt, sasha gifted you that new biography you've been wanting to read and you gave armin your old copy of frankenstein by mary shelley

- he was surprised but very thankful, "how did you know i needed a new copy ?" "well i remember you said eren spilt water on your old one, and the pages just stuck together so i thought you might as well have mine"

- it warmed armin's heart that you remembered something so insignificant, and opened him up to the thought of being with you

- the rest of the night was spent with hugs and thankfulness, cheering when the clock struck 12 and it became christmas day

- after getting things cleaned up everyone decided it was time to leave, with armin, eren and mikasa offering to give you a ride home

- a ride where armin straight up kissed you in the backseat

- you stopped him of course, thinking that it was weird he would cheat on his partners right in front of them, while they were shocked all on their own for different reasons, armin who didnt have feelings for you KISSED you

- and surprisingly armin took the lead in explaining how he felt, why he kissed you, an apology for doing so, and an offer to start dating all three of them

- your heart was pounding in your ears and your entire face felt hot, it was probably the alcohol, or the way his lips felt so soft when they touched yours, so you said yes.

- its not smooth sailing from there

- youre kind of awkward

- this is your first relationship where you really feel like you could love these guys (you already do) but its also your first relationship with multiple people

- the trio start inviting you over more often, soon for sleepovers, and start inviting themselves over at your own place, mainly eren

- he just comes at random times, sometimes when youre not even there and waits for you, or stays and cleans up a bit before leaving

- armin and you share a deep love of literature, and you often find yourselves in hot debates about whatever youve read (mikasa and eren have to pry you two away before things get physical)

- mikasa likes to cook with you, she shares recipes that her mom taught her, and her and armin love to cook dinner together whereas eren is the breakfast maker of the household

- the first time you slept in the same bed as them you were so nervous your whole body thumped to the tune of your heartbeat, you were convinced armin could even hear it as he was laying beside you, but eren wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his large chest before whispering "youre as stiff as a board, relax honey"

- eren snores, mikasa drools, armin has those dreams where you fall and then violently wake up before you hit the ground

- slowly but surely you stop thinking about your relationship as the trio and you, but as all of you together, and that really helps you come out of your shell a bit

- you may still be in the honeymoon phase, and there may be bumps along the way, but you like being with armin, eren, and mikasa. they make you so happy, it feels like the happiest youve been in a long time

- you like watching eren and armin dance in the living room while you and mikasa cuddle on the couch, before the boys pull you two up as well

- you like when armin reads to you, his soft voice reciting the words of the great gatsby

- you like it when eren can just tell youve had a rough day, and pulls you into a hug like hes protecting you from all the bad things in the world

- you love being with them. you love them. and you think that theyre it for you

i rushed the ending bc im fucking tired but i kinda wanna do a poly!series with like sasha, connie and jean, or annie, bertholdt and reiner, or any other poly ships u guys may request !

so yeah pls give me feedback it rlly helps me figure out whether you want a polyamorous series (or just like what i write in general), and it would be my first series ever which would be super cool anyways

yeah requests open for poly!ships anyways

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obx-adventures · 4 years ago

Text

The Story

Summary: You and JJ had a moment and he blew it. Now you’re dating someone new but JJ thinks the new guy isn’t what he seems.

----

“John B! JB! Are you home?” I run up the stairs to the Chateau’s porch and barge in without knocking. When I don’t see my best friend in the living room, I run into his room, only to find it empty. I growl in frustration and run back outside to see if the HMS Pogue is there.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” I jump and clutch my heart as I spin around to the new voice.

“JJ?” His frame is still hidden in the shadow of the porch but he’s the only other person who would be here. “Where’s John B?”

“He’s with Sarah.” JJ looks concerned as I walk back to the porch. “What’s going on?”

“Ughh, shit,” I grumble as I throw myself onto the porch’s couch.

“Is everything ok?” Even with my head resting on the back of the couch and my eyes closed, I can hear the worry in his voice.

“Yea, I just needed to talk to JB.”

“Is it something you can talk to me about?” I lift my head up, peak open my eyes, and study the disheveled blonde that is suddenly sitting next me.

“Well… I guess I don’t have much choice.”

“Ouch…” I cringe at my lack of tact and feel guilty when I see the genuine pain flash across his features. “Look, I know we aren’t as close as we used to be but you can still talk to me.”

“Sorry, JJ. I didn’t mean it like that.” I tentatively reach out to pat his hand but chicken out and let my hand fall.

“Yea you did but it’s alright.” JJ shakes his head a little as if he’s trying to forget a bad memory. Before I can try to comfort him, he puts on a false smile and steers us back to the topic at hand. “What’s on your mind?”

“You know that new server at The Wreck? Tom? Well, he asked me out.” JJ has to lean closer to me to hear everything I say since my voice drops almost to a whisper as I realize how awkward this is for us.

“Oh… what does that have to with JB?”

“I wanted to see what he thought about it.”

“You ask JB for his opinion before you go out with someone?” JJ knows that John B and I are really close but he didn’t think John B was so involved in my love life.

“Yea… ever since the debacle between us…” I let my voice trail off completely and I wish I could disappear right here and now.

“Oh…” JJ’s hand goes to the back of his neck and he averts his eyes. I’ve known JJ for almost as long as I’ve known JB and I’ve never seen him look so ashamed. Is he really this embarrassed by what happened or does he feel bad? Now isn’t the time to get into this though so I decide to diffuse the tension.

“JJ, it’s ok.” This time I actually let myself grab his hand and he freezes in place. “We’re ok now. I just didn’t think through my decisions with you, so I try to talk it out with him beforehand to make sure I’m being…”

“Smart?” JJ interjects when I can’t find a diplomatic way to finish my thought.

“Yea… I’m sorry, JJ.” I offer him a half smile and hope he understands.

“Don’t be.” JJ rests his hand on top of mine and gives me a small squeeze to reassure me. He releases my hand quickly and I pull my hand back, a little bit of awkwardness still in the air. “So, do you like Tom?”

“I mean I don’t know him that well, but I think so. He’s a kook so that made me a little nervous but Kie knows his family and says they are good people.”

“If he’s a kook, why is working at The Wreck?”

“His parents don’t want him to be a spoiled asshole like Rafe and Topper. So that’s a good sign, right?”

“Sure.” JJ’s eyes screw up in concentration and I let him think for a moment. “When he asked you out, did it seem like he assumed you would say yes?”

“Uh, no. He was pretty nervous.”

“That’s good, at least he doesn’t have a big ego like most kooks. Did you like him before he asked you out?”

“What do you mean?” I can’t tell if JJ’s prying or trying to be helpful, but I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Well, have you been hoping he would ask you out?”

“Uh, I didn’t really think about. Why?”

“Then I guess you need to ask yourself if you want to go out with him because you like him or because you like that he wants to go out with you.”

“That’s actually pretty insightful, J…”

“No need to act so surprised.” For the first time since my arrival, he gives me real JJ smile and I can’t help but smile back at him. “So what are you going to do?”

“I think I’m going to say yes and see how the date goes. Thanks, JJ.” I give him a quick kiss on the cheek, something I haven’t done since everything happened between us. He seems momentarily surprised but pulls me into a hug on instinct. I stay in his arms for a moment but pull myself away before my emotions get the best of me.

I’m glad that he and I becoming more comfortable around each other again, but I still have my guard up. I can’t let myself forget that he broke my heart.

----

It’s been three months since Tom and I went on our first date. JJ was right that I only liked Tom initially because he wanted to go out with me. But, that changed quickly as I got to know him. He’s smart and kind, driven and focused, and treats me like a princess. He also gets along with the Pogues. The first meeting at the Boneyard was a little rough but Kie scolded all the boys before inviting him back for day out on the marsh. All the guys could see how happy I was with him and decided to give him a real chance.

Our three-month anniversary just so happened to be on Pope’s birthday, so I told Tom that we needed to spend some time at the Chateau before we went out for dinner. I could tell everyone was already pretty drunk when we arrived, but I missed any signs that something was wrong with JJ until it was too late. If only I had stayed outside with everyone instead of running into the house to get a sweater.

“Hey, Y/N…” I jump and clutch my chest in surprise.

“Shit, JJ. You scared the hell out of me!”

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s ok.” I move closer to him and try to make out the expression on his face. “Why are you sitting in the dark by yourself?”

“I was just thinking.”

“Dude, it’s Pope’s birthday. Stop being such a downer and come party with us before I have to go.”

“Y/N, I need to talk to you…” He reaches out and grabs my hand, stopping me before I can get back to the door. I stop and study his face before sitting down next to him.

“What’s wrong?” I ask as I place a hand on his shoulder.

“Look, I’m the last person who should be talking to you about this, but I can’t let this go on any longer…”

“What’s going on, J?”

“You know how I cut the Cameron’s grass?” I nod and he continues. “Well, I saw Tom there this morning.”

“What? Why? He’s not friends with Rafe.” Tom has told me multiple times how Rafe is a dick who gives all kooks a bad name.

“That’s not what it looked like. They were smoking pot and laughing like they know each other.”

“Tom doesn’t smoke, JJ.” I tease him all the time about how it could help him relax.

“I’m telling you, he was there.” JJ shakes my hand from his shoulder and stands up to pace in front of the couch. “And they were talking about you. I heard Rafe ask when Tom was going to close with you. Tom said tonight’s the night. And Rafe said ‘well it better be or the bet drops down to $50.’ Tom laughed and told him not to worry and he would have you screaming his name before the midnight deadline.”

“What the fuck, JJ?!” The full weight of what he just told me hits me like a ton of bricks.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry…” He sits next to me and places his hand over mine, trying to comfort me.

“No!” I forcefully pull my hand back and stand up to get away from him. “Look, I know you’ve never liked Tom, but you can’t just make something like this up! It’s cruel!”

“I’m not making this up, Y/N!” JJ pulls on his hair in frustration but tries to settle himself down to talk to me. “I swear, he was there, and I heard them say all that shit.”

“Fuck off, JJ!” I push away from him and storm out.

“Wait, Y/N!” JJ follows me outside and tries to catch my arm before I get down the porch stairs. “Please just listen to me!”

“Go to hell! I can’t believe you!”

“Whoa, what’s going on?” JB asks, looking between his two best friends.

“It doesn’t matter.” I look around for my boyfriend and gather up my stuff. “Tom, let’s go.”

“What happened?” John B and Tom ask at the same time.

“Y/N, wait!” JJ shouts over them as I walk to Tom’s car.

“JJ, stay the fuck away from me.” I tell him as I get into the car without looking back.

It takes every ounce of my strength to keep myself from crying. Tom quietly climbs in, starts the car, and tries to catch my eyes before he pulls out onto the road.

----

After dinner, we go back to Tom’s house and he leads me up to his room. I’ve been quiet since we left the Chateau, trying to understand why JJ would say all those things about my boyfriend.

“Y/N, can we try to get past whatever happened tonight with you and JJ and try to enjoy our three-month anniversary?” Tom asks as we walk up his stairs, pulling me from my thoughts.

“I’m sorry…”

“No need to apologize, I just don’t want you to miss my surprise for you.” Tom opens his bedroom door to reveal fairy lights and soft music. I gasp as I take in the ambience he created. “Do you like it?”

“Tom, it’s wonderful!” He grabs my hand and pulls me into the room. “You didn’t have to do all of this for me.”

“I just wanted everything to be perfect for tonight.” While I love the sentiment, I can’t help thinking about what JJ told me.

Before I can respond, Tom pulls me in for a kiss. His hands settle on my waist, but his fingers find my bare skin under the hem of my top right away. He deepens the kiss and my head starts spinning. Tom and I have made out before but his kisses are more desperate this time.

We’re interrupted by my phone ringing. I see that it’s JB and silence it. As I put my phone down, I see that I have 2 missed calls from Kie, 3 from Sarah, and 2 from John B. I also have 35 unread text messages.

“Whoa, something is going on.” Before I can check my messages, Tom takes my phone out of my hand and puts it in his back pocket.

“Come on, baby. Just focus on us tonight.” My eyebrows knit in confusion and I study his face. Tom has never taken my phone from me before.

“Tom, what’s going on?”

“Nothing. I just want you to pay attention to me tonight.”

“I am but there is clearly a problem because all my friends are calling and texting me. Give me my phone, Tom.”

“Give me a kiss.” He pulls me into his chest and crashes his lips to mine.

When I try to push him back, he holds me tighter. I finally have to bite his lip hard to get him to back up.

“Tom, what the hell is going on with you?” Then realization hits me. JJ was right. “Do you think we’re going to have sex tonight?”

“Well, it has been three months.”

“So what? Why are you rushing this?”

“I’m not rushing anything. You’re acting crazy.” He tries to bring me back in for another kiss but I turn my head away from him.

“If we have sex tonight, are you going to split your winnings with me?” I ask to see how he responds.

“What? I… uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about, Y/N.” Way wrong answer.

“Fuck you, Tom. Give me phone so I can leave.”

“No, just hear me out.”

“Give me my damn phone. Now!”

“No! Just fucking listen to me!”

I storm out of his house without my phone, too disgusted and embarrassed to look at him for another minute. It started to rain while we were inside, but I refuse to ask him for a ride home. Instead, I start walking towards the Chateau, too angry and humiliated to care how cold the rain is.

When I arrive at JB’s, I deflate when I see the Twinkie gone. But I figure he’ll be back soon and let myself inside.

“Y/N?” I jump again at his voice.

“Fuck, JJ. You have to stop scaring the shit out of me.”

“What are you doing here? Did you walk?” JJ’s voice is full of concern and he approaches me like a cornered animal.

“Yes. Where is everyone?” I can’t meet his gaze, so I look around the house again, even though I know it’s empty.

“They went looking for you.” He tentatively touches my chin to get me to look at him. “Why didn’t you call for a ride?”

“Tom has my phone.” I can’t handle the emotion in his eyes, so I pull away and start squeezing the rain out of my hair. “Why are they looking for me?”

“After you left, I told them what I told you. Sarah went to confront Rafe and he admitted to the bet. Everyone tried to call you, but you didn’t answer so they went to find you. Kie remembered where you guys were going to dinner, so they were starting there. Why does Tom have your phone?”

“He took it from me when John B called and wouldn’t give it back before I left.”

“Why did you leave?” JJ asks quietly.

“C’mon, JJ, you know why.” I finally meet his eyes and stare at him defiantly. “Go ahead and gloat.”

“No, I mean what happened to make you believe me?”

“He was really… single-minded once we got back to his house.” JJ anxiously looks me over, trying to find any sign of Tom’s aggression. “Then he wouldn’t let me call JB and tried to guilt me into having sex with him.”

“Are you ok?” His voice is unbelievably gentle as he cups my cheeks.

“Not even a little bit. But he didn’t physically hurt me if that’s what you were asking.”

“I’m sorry.” JJ grabs a towel and wraps me up before pulling me in for a hug.

“No, I’m sorry for not believing you.” I allow myself to lean into JJ for support as tears stream down my face. I kept my composure on the way over here, focusing intently on my rage, but his kindness after how horribly I treated him earlier is enough to finally make me break down.

We finally pull apart when JJ’s phone rings. He sees it John B and tells him that I’m there and ok but Tom has my phone. I excuse myself to get cleaned off in the bathroom. After seeing how terrible I look, I decide to take a shower. My pity party is interrupted by a soft knock.

“Y/N, it’s John B. Can I come in?”

“JB, I just need some time. I know you mean well but I just need to be alone for a little bit.”

“Ok, take your time. I’m going to bed, but you can wake me up if you need anything.”

After drying off, I realize I don’t have any clean clothes to put on. I peek my head out and call softly for JJ, hoping he didn’t go to bed when JB did.

“Yea?”

“Can you get me some dry clothes?”

“Sure, give me a minute.”

After he hands me some of his clean clothes, I close the door to get dressed. I thought he went back to what he was doing before I called for him, but I hear him softly call my name from the other side of the door.

“Uh, yea?”

“Umm… you can sleep in my room tonight. I’ll take the couch.” I open the door as he finishes his offer and get the distinct impression that this isn’t what he wanted to tell me.

“Ok… you ok, JJ?”

“Yea… I’m just going to head to bed.” He turns away from me quickly and throws himself down on the couch with his arm over his eyes.

“Ok, night…” As I climb into his bed, his smell overwhelms me, and I’m transported to a night six months ago.

“JJ, I think I’m in love with you.” His mouth stills on my neck and he moves back to look me in the eyes.

We are both a little drunk from the day on the marsh and the party but I can’t deny that I’ve been hoping this would happen for a while.

“Y/N…” JJ’s eyes show how confused he is, so I give him a moment to think. He closes his eyes and takes a steadying breath before moving to my side. “I think we should stop.”

“What? JJ, I don’t want to stop.” I try to kiss him again, but he gets out of bed and starts putting his clothes back on.

“You should go,” he says quietly, refusing to make eye contact with me.

I feel my eyes glazing over with tears as I try to put my clothes back on. JJ leaves me crying in his room. Why couldn’t I just keep my damn mouth shut?

----

“So Y/N, I need to tell you something.” I look over at Kie and frown at the worry in her voice.

“I saw Tom today.” I close my eyes in relief that I wasn’t working the lunch shift. Tom quit after everything happened with us and I haven’t seen him in almost a month. “He asked me to have you call him.”

“Did you tell that asshole that he can suck a dick?” John B yells over the waves.

“No, JB. I told him I would tell her.” Kie looks back at me and shrugs her shoulders. “He looked pretty upset. Maybe he realizes how much he fucked up?”

“So you think she should call him?” JJ asks, anger seething off him.

“No, JJ. I think she should make her own decision. I’m just telling her what he said and how he looked.”

“Kie! Come on! After what he did to her?”

“I still talked to you after what you did to her!” Kie yells.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Pope shouts as he holds out his arms. “Let’s all take a deep breath.”

The rest of the ride to the marsh is silent and tense. JJ moves to the back of the boat and sits with his head in his hands. Once we get to our swimming spot, I let everyone else jump into the water before I go over to talk to him.

“J, you ok?” I nudge his knee with mine to try to get him to look at me.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” He finally looks up at me and I see tears streaming down on his face. “Oh, J. Why are you crying?”

“Because Kie’s right. What Tom did was fucked but I’m no better.”

“JJ, she’s not right,” I say with a sigh. “Those are two very different situations. Tom dated me for three months as part of a bet. He tried to get me to have sex with him so he could win money from Rafe fucking Cameron. You… you didn’t do that.”

“No, I just acted like a pussy and shut you out instead of talking to you.”

“What are you talking about?” For the first time, I’m wondering if there is something I didn’t understand about the night JJ and I almost had sex.

“That night, when you said how you felt about me, I didn’t say anything. I just shut down and made you leave.”

“Look, J, I was pissed at you for a long time but then I realized I was just embarrassed and hurt. We were drunk and I jumped about a million steps and told you I love you when we had just kissed for the first time like 20 minutes before that. That would have freaked out anyone. Did you handle it in the best way? No, not even a little bit. But you weren’t fully at fault either.”

“Y/N… I wanted to –” But he’s cut off from explaining further by John B yelling for him.

“JJ, stop being a baby and come swim with us! Kie’s sorry for crossing the line. You’re sorry for being a dick. It’s over.”

“JB, hold on.” I yell back at him, desperate to find out what JJ was about to tell me.

“No, Y/N, JB’s right. Let’s go swim.” He gives me a fake smile and moves to the front of the boat before I can ask him.

What the hell was that?

----

“Dude, let’s go!” I’m tapping my foot while I wait for JJ to finish getting changed.

“Relax!” he yells to me from his room. “Why didn’t you just go to the Boneyard with the others instead of staying here to harass me?”

“You begged me to wait for you, you jackass. Now hurry up!”

“I’m ready, I’m ready…” I grip JJ’s hand and drag him outside. “Why are you in such a hurry? You normally aren’t this jacked for a kegger.”

“I’m just ready to shake off the residual Tom energy.”

“I thought you were doing better…”

“I am and now I want to celebrate. Just want to get back out there, you know?”

I look back when JJ doesn’t respond to me and notice him looking at his feet. His body language is reminding me of how he was on the boat a couple days ago but I can’t really figure out why.

“J, you good?” I ask tentatively.

“What?” His head pops up as if just realizing I’m still there. “Oh yea, I’m totally good.”

“You are so full of shit.” I say with a nervous laugh.

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know… you look… sad?”

“I’m fine. Let’s go get you back out there.” JJ throws his arm over my shoulder and leads me the rest of the way to the Boneyard with both of us lost in our heads.

When we get to party, we go straight over to our friends by the keg. Before I can finish saying hello to them, Kie hands me a cup and pulls me out to the dance area. She holds on to my free hand and spins me around to the music. Within minutes, we’re laughing non-stop and dancing like idiots.

After a couple of songs, I feel a warm set of hands settle on my waist. I spin around, thinking one of the guys has joined us, only to find Tom’s smug face.

“Get your hands off of me!” I shout as I pull out of his reach. He quickly follows me and grasps my shoulders harshly.

“Y/N, I just want to talk. Please.”

“Well, I don’t give a shit about whatever you have to say. Leave me alone.” I turn my head to look for Kie and see that she’s already run over towards the guys. “Look, Kie went to get JB and JJ. You should go before they get over here.”

“Fuck them. You’re the person I came to talk to. Just hear me out.”

“There is nothing you can say that will make what you did ok. Go away!”

As the last word is coming out of my mouth, I feel a strong set of arms wrap around me from behind and pull me away. Then a tall blur comes from the left and punches Tom in the face.

“Shh, it’s ok…” I freeze for a moment as I realize that JJ is the person holding me instead of the one throwing the punches. “John B has got this, let’s get you out of here.”

“JJ?” I search his face while he looks at me tenderly. “I thought you’d be the one throwing punches.”

“No, Y/N. You’re more important. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

I’m stunned into compliance and walk with him to the edge of the party. I spare a glance back at the fight between JB and Pope and Tom and Rafe and stop moving. When JJ realizes I’ve stopped, he follows my line of sight back and again tries to move me away.

“JJ, what the hell! Why aren’t you helping them?! You know that Rafe probably has Topper and Kelce nearby!”

“Listen to me.” He places both hands gently on my cheeks, demanding my full attention. “JB and I made a deal this afternoon in case this happened. It’s my job to get you back to the Chateau, JB will take care of the rest.”

“How did John B talk you into that?” I ask as his hands drop.

“What do you mean?”

“How did he convince you to be on babysitting duty?”

“He didn’t. I volunteered.” JJ mumbles the last part as he stares at his feet and rubs the back of his neck.

“Why?” I lift JJ’s face with a gentle finger under his chin.

“I told you, you’re more important.”

“I don’t understand…” I search his face for answers but can only find confliction in his eyes. JJ never turns down a chance to fight Kooks, especially one that has treated one of his friends like shit.

“I’ll try to explain better when we get back to the Chateau.” He puts a reassuring hand on the small of my back and guides me away from the party.

Throughout the walk back to the Chateau, I am lost in my own head. Why would JJ babysit me instead of punching out Tom? Why would he leave John B and Pope when he knew they were about to be outnumbered? What emotion did I see flit over his eyes when he told me I’m more important?

“Whoa, watch your step,” JJ warns as I almost trip up the porch stairs. I didn’t even realize we were already back at John B’s.

Once we get inside, JJ immediately gets a couple of beers from the fridge. He taps my hand with mine since I’m still not paying attention.

“Are you ok?” he asks me cautiously.

“Uh… yea. I’m just really confused.”

“Why? What did he say to you?” JJ’s voice full of concern again.

“Not about Tom. I don’t give a shit what he says. I’m confused by you.”

“Why?” JJ looks at me with genuine curiosity.

“Well, I’m trying to put the jigjaw pieces together but I think I’m missing some.”

“Huh?”

“I’m missing information.” When he still looks confused, I roll my eyes and be as direct as possible. “You haven’t been open with me.”

“I’m an open book, Y/N. Ask whatever you want. But… make sure you want to know the answer.”

“Ok, that’s not cryptic at all,” I say sarcastically. “I guess let’s go back to the other day on the marsh. It seemed like you were trying to tell me something about the night we almost had sex.”

“Oh, we’re just jumping right into, huh?” I can’t help but smile at his obvious nervousness.

“You told me I could ask whatever I wanted.”

“I know… let me figure out the best way to explain it…”

“JJ, just be honest. Don’t worry about saying it right.”

“That night, do you remember what led us back to my room?”

“Uh, yea… we were dancing and a slow song came on.” I pause for a second and then add. “I told you that it reminded me of you and then you kissed me.”

“Do you remember the song?”

“It was an old one by Brandi Carlisle. Uh, The Story?”

“Yea... do you remember what you said when I asked why?” I can’t help but feel like a participant on a quiz show with all of his questions.

“Because your mom used to sing it to you.” I look at my hands, knowing his mom is a difficult topic for him.

“You’re the only person who knows that about me.”

“Really?”

“Yea, my dad doesn’t even know that. She would only sing it when he wasn’t around.” That makes sense with everything I know about their marriage, but I’m really confused about what this has to do with anything.

“Well, I’m honored that you told me, J. But I don’t understand how that gets us here…”

“In that moment, I realized that you know me better than anyone else in the world and… and you still stick around. My mom used to tell me that the point of the song was finding someone who knows all of you, the good and the bad, and wanting to share every part of your life with that person because they give it meaning. You give my life meaning.”

“JJ…” I’m overwhelmed by his openness. I never would have anticipated him being so honest about something so personal.

“No, let me finish.” I nod at him but take his hand in mine. “Kissing you was something I wanted to do since 5th grade. So, I leaned in and kissed you without thinking about what I was risking. Then things escalated and we ended up back here. It was like my dreams were coming true. When you told me you loved me, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. I didn’t think it was possible that you would ever feel that way about me. Maybe you were too drunk or confused, I wasn’t sure. But I couldn’t risk you telling me later that you didn’t mean it. So… I did what I do best and shut down.”

“JJ, I meant it.”

“I realized that a couple days later when you wouldn’t come over.” His sadness is written across his face as he explains further. “At first I thought you were just embarrassed but then JB punched me in the face and yelled at me about breaking your heart.”

“He did what?!” When John B convinced me to tell him what happened, I specifically made him promise not to address it with JJ.

“It’s ok, I deserved it. Normally when I self-destruct, I’m the only one who gets hurt. But this time, I hurt the person I love too.”

“The person you what?” I shake my head a little in disbelief.

“The person I love. I didn’t just want to kiss you because you’re smoking hot, even though you are. But because I’m in love with you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when you found out I was heartbroken?”

“Well I already hurt you, I didn’t think you’d still feel that way anymore.”

“So all this time, you’ve been in love with me?” I can’t keep the surprise out of my voice, causing him to look at me apologetically.

“Yes.”

“Since when?”

“Since John B’s 12th birthday party. Don’t laugh!” The giggle slips out on it’s own and I quickly cover my mouth.

“I’m sorry, J. But why that specific day?”

“That was the year when we all got into a huge cake fight, remember?” I nod and he offers me a shy smile. “Well, you snuck up behind me, jumped on my back, and smashed a handful of cake in my face. I grabbed your arms and pulled you off me and had to hold you up because you were laughing so hard. You got the hiccups and tears were running down your face and I remember thinking that I want to make you laugh like that forever.”

“You’re such a softie…” I whisper as I poke his side.

“Shut up…”

“No, it’s true. You’re a big softie. Why are you finally telling me now?”

“I guess I feel like I can now that you don’t love me anymore. I don’t need to worry about breaking your heart again.”

“Wha –” I’m cut off by a crash out on the porch, causing both of us to jump up.

“Hey, can one of you guys get the door for us?” Kie screams through the window.

JJ rushes to help Kie and I gasp when I see John B’s bloodied face. Pope has a swollen eye and a nose bleed but otherwise looks ok.

“JB! Oh my God, are you ok?”

“I’m fine, Y/N. Just a few cuts from Rafe’s stupid rings. Kie, you don’t need to hold me up, I can walk.” Kie ignores John B and guides him over to the couch while I run into the kitchen for some ice and paper towels.

Over the next hour, we clean up Pope and John B while they tell us about how Tom and Rafe called over Topper and Kelce (like I predicted). A few other pogues jumped in to help when they noticed JJ wasn’t there. The whole fight only lasted a couple minutes but it ended the party so they had to clean up before they came back to the house. Soon, Kie offers to drive Pope home and JB decides to head to bed, leaving me and JJ alone again.

“Are you staying here tonight or do you want me to drive you home?” JJ asks softly.

“Uh, I’ll stay here.” I hate the awkwardness between us right now.

“Ok, night.” He turns around quickly and goes into his room before I can say anything else.

After tossing and turning on the couch for a couple hours, I decide that I’m not going to be able to sleep until I talk to JJ. I jump up and tiptoe quietly into his room. Instead of knocking, I just let myself in and am surprised when I find him looking back at me.

“Y/N? What are you doing in here?”

“I couldn’t sleep…”

“Is everything ok?”

“No.”

“Oh… do you want to talk about it?”

“Yes… JJ, I need you to know someth –” Before I can finish my thought, JJ cuts me off.

“No, Y/N, listen. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I hope you know that I don’t expect –”

“Shut up, JJ.” I cover his mouth with my hand to get him to stop talking. “I need you to know that I’m still in love with you… I never stopped loving you.”

I slowly remove my hand from his mouth and study his face. At first, I’m not sure that he believes me but then he breaks into a brilliant smile. He pulls me close and kisses me fiercely. He puts every ounce of emotion into the kiss and I need to pull back sooner than I’d like to take a breath.

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“Well, you didn’t respond that great the first time.”

“But you were with Tom…”

“Yea, I thought dating someone else would help me get over you.” I tell him with a shrug.

“We’re both idiots,” he says as he pulls me in for another kiss. “But, God, I love you.”

194 notes · View notes

koushisatori · 4 years ago

Text

Anniversary

First of all: If you happen to stumble across this, please cut me some slack and be gentle with me. English is not my mother tongue, and on top of that, I got rusty by procrastinating everything (literally) for the last half-year (*μ_μ) I am apologizing in advance if something is weirdly written.

This is also my first ever piece of fanfiction, so I have to get used to that to :(( So if you got ideas or anything, I’ll gladly try to fulfill your wishes to simultaneously improve my writing.

Hmm, is there anything else? I hope not, and if there is, I’ll add it !!

tendou x f!reader

genre: small bit of angst, fluff

warnings: none

word count: 2.7k

note: /

__________________________________________________________

usually, your relationship with Tendou is smooth sailing, both of you decided to take the step of moving in together relatively early, exceeding the common couples limit by not only doing this barely a year into your relationship but doing so in a different country far from your family and friends

(both of you learning french together to survive a new life in an absolutely foreign country...however, the first months of grocery shopping were disastrous )

you both became a couple in your last year at Shiratorizawa, surprising absolutely....well,...no one, honestly

every person just seeing a moment of your interactions with each other would have guessed that you already were dating

Tendou and you were the embodiment of being disgustingly in love - like people see you and feel s i n g l e wanting to have what you two obviously found with the other

(SemiSemi, to this day, shudders violently thinking about how he caught you two making out in the storage room a week after Tendou finally confessed to you <3)

anyway

while Tendou followed his dream of becoming a chocolatier, you began to study - enter: stress

after finishing his required training he got a job at a high-class factory (everything his handmade and super expensive?? You’re just so lucky to be his better half and get to taste his creations for free)

they value his skills and invest in him to become better, but that also means that his time for you shrank even more

you understood that, of course, and it's not like you didn’t spend a lot of your times crouching over books either with being close to receiving your first degree

in general, your fights are stressed-induced, and as quickly forgotten as they came up bc...let’s not beat around the bush, both of you are shit at staying mad at the other, especially if it means cutting short the already sparse time you currently have <3

they’re usually about petty stuff, too

recently though it happens more regularly and they ever so slowly started to border on painful

he stays at work for longer to perfect his already otherworldly skills; and your patience is running thin with all the deadlines and exams putting immense pressure on you

both of you are just so unsatisfied and stressed and...so fucking tired

it’s always forgivable though

you don’t mind planned dinner dates turning into movie nights with him falling asleep on you after what feels like seconds

because he’s there, pressing his face into your side or stomach hard enough for you to wonder if he’s trying to suffocate himself, while his long arms are around your waist holding onto you as if his life depends on it

he doesn’t mind being splayed across your lap watching the latest episodes of his series while you type away on your laptop, even though you were supposed to enjoy a nice weekend lazying in front of the tv with him

a forgotten date hasn’t killed you yet as well, but the amount of times it was currently happening allowed insecurities to have their way with you

both of you always make up for it one way or another (leaving an apology breakfast or even taking it to bed, buying flowers, sharing the sweet kisses you were supposed to enjoy the night before,...)

but this time, he didn’t just forget to be on time for any date.

he completely missed your anniversary

you spend the whole afternoon cooking his favorite dish for dinner, making yourself all pretty for him, wearing the jewelry he got you for your birthday, it was some kind of tradition by now

just to be stood up, dinner turning cold and your mood sour

no message, no callback

around 11pm he - finally ! - gets in touch with you

‘‘(Y/N)!! Bunny, did something happen? Did you miss me so much?’’

you could hear the dopey grin he was wearing while teasing you, one you usually loved, one that was contagious

but it didn’t help the pain and disappointment nesting in your heart, right now

he really didn’t remember

was the date so insignificant to him? were you no longer a priority?

you swallow around the lump in your throat, desperately begging your brain to not amplify your insecurities even more

‘’No...it’s...it’s alright, I just wanted to know when you’re home...’’ your attempt to keep the doubts and pain you experienced that second hidden was pointless, because even on the phone, your boyfriend was able to look right through you

‘‘Bunny what’s wrong?’’ he asks worriedly

normally you’d say that it was alright, that you’d speak later or directly say what was bugging you so terribly

this time...you didn’t feel like talking or maybe even fighting, scared that he might confirm your thoughts and leave you

‘’It’s nothing, Tendou,...’’ you hear him wince, you can’t remember the last time you called him that ’’don’t bother with me if it’s not as important to you.’’

‘‘Not as...’’ a moment of silence follows, in which he checked the date and, lastly, Tendou understood ‘’Oh. Oh shit, (Y/N),...Bunny, please, wait for me, please, let me explain...’‘

It’s not the answer you wanted (on the other hand, what answer would that be?)

‘‘I waited...and I’m tired,’‘ you add without thinking, hanging up before he even got the chance to answer

while you don’t want things to end...you can’t help but think ‘what if?’ - that thought alone though is enough for the dams to burst

With a soft groan, you blink your burning eyes open, noticing your spine protesting and pop from the uncomfortable position you fell asleep in. A glance at the alarm clock elicited another tired groan, the 4 on display mocking you.

The burning and overall sluggish feeling controlling your body immediately reminded you of the things that had taken place. That his scent surrounding you arose solely due to his pillow in which you had pressed your face.

While you obviously weren’t on the best of terms right now, a small part of you was still hopeful and reached out across the bed in search for the warmth your red-haired better half usually provided. Unsurprisingly, your hand met a cold bed half.

An annoyed sigh later, you sat up and rubbed over your eyes angrily. You were hurt, which should be understandable, but remembering his overly happy tone even with evident tiredness underlaying it, you guessed that he didn’t stay behind on purpose and that, maybe, something good had happened. So to say, you as well behaved like an idiot.

Suddenly, you remember the last sentence you said. Realizing what it implied, you felt like banging your head against the wall. You wanted to be understood by him. What you didn’t want was to give Satori the time to allow his anxious tendencies to fester while he was alone, foregoing untrue, negative ideas. The fact that he still wasn’t in bed with you, was proof enough which lead to you cursing out loud.

While your last words towards him told something differently, you surely didn’t want to leave him or him to leave you. Both of you could work things out, you always did, and…well, you always hoped that it would stay that way until you had lived a fulfilling life as a couple, with grey hair and wrinkles taking your last breath together wherever life would lead the two of you.

The simple solution was to communicate like the grown adults you are.

Determined to talk through it the way you should have done earlier and maybe...just maybe get some cuddles afterward, you swung your legs out from under the blankets. After you quickly put on some warm, worn-out socks, you quietly leave the bedroom and tip-toe through the hallway.

You expected the apartment to be silent, to be dark. What you didn’t expect is the soft light coming from your shared kitchen. Or the clinking noises of bowls and pots colliding lightly, lowly muttered, sleepy curses, and even quieter sniffles interrupting the barrage of words from time to time.

Upon hearing those little sounds - no doubt coming from your anxious boyfriend - your heart clenched painfully in your chest. This is your injudicious doing. Straightening your back, you stepped into the kitchen, slightly squinting against the much harsher ceiling lights assaulting your eyes.

The original plan was to offer a heartfelt apology, and follow it up by an honest declaration of love and the proposal to talk about everything. There were a lot of things that needed to be cleared up between you and Tendou. But after entering the kitchen, you came to an abrupt halt.

Your eyes wandered, lingering on cuts, burns, and blisters that blemished your boyfriends' pretty fingers. Slowly, your gaze continued to move up his arms and shoulders, tensed and screaming out his fear of losing you. For a moment, you hesitated, but you eventually lifted your gaze to meet his wide eyes, as red-rimmed and puffy as yours. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. Normally, you would find it adorable and stretch your hands out to cup his cheeks (not to pull him down, definitely not) and press a kiss to his lips...but right now? You really just felt like crying, seeing your Satori so heartbroken over something you said carelessly in the heat of the moment.

Suddenly wincing, Tendou quickly pulls back his hand to his chest away from the hot stove. Yet, he did not dare to break eye contact with you. Seemingly afraid that what he currently saw is nothing but a sleep-deprivation induced hallucination. That you would just vanish if he so much dared to even think of blinking.

The stupor rooting you to the spot though vanished in favor of closing the gap between the two of you to help him.

‘‘Tori...’‘ you croaked worriedly, eyes flickering down to his hands and back up to his watery, sad eyes. ‘‘I’m so sorry,’’ you whispered. Any louder and your voice might break. ’’...let me take care of you.’‘

You turned off the stove before you gently tugged Tendou behind you to the bathroom. Making him sit on the edge of the small tub, you gathered everything you needed to patch him up with rehearsed movements.

For a while, both of you were silent.

You carefully worked on disinfecting cuts and putting special creams on the different wounds and burns, while not hurting him any further. Concentrating on ignoring the thick tension of untold apologies, and fear. Doubt weighing heavy on the two of you.

Meanwhile, Tendou couldn't help but admire your features. Your soft hair - faintly smelling like peaches and anis - falling into your face, hiding away your pretty (Y/E/C) eyes. He loved to get lost in them. Or how your tongue poked out between your lips in concentration and the little scrunch of your nose when you thought that you could have done better.

Even in this hazy state of mind, he knew for certain that he would try to hold onto you for as long as possible. That he would do anything to make you forgive him.

After you finished gently wrapping band-aids (silly ones with colorful patterns just the way you both love) around his fingers, on his palm, and back of his hand, he quickly moved them to hold onto yours.

‘‘Don’t leave me.’‘ Tendou's voice is just above a whisper, and if you wouldn't have been that close to him as you were, you would have missed it. But you could hear him, and your eyes immediately met his, filling with tears all over again.

‘‘Satori, I’m-’‘

‘‘(Y/N), please...please, don’t leave me. I’m so sorry. Of course, I care. Our relationship, you...nothing’s as important to me as you are. It was the only thing keeping me sane that last week. I don't know why I forgot about it. I truly feel horrible.'' he started. ''Please, believe me. I love you so, so much. I...I can’t imagine a life without you. I don’t want to.’’ Even with his voice quivering, it was crystal clear just how serious his words were to him.

He needed to get it out in the open. There was no way in hell that he would allow any doubts about your relationship to fester in your mind.

‘’I was held back to talk about the upcoming Christmas preparations that I’m supposed to be leading this year, and then I was called into the boss’ office and I couldn’t check my phone,’‘ the desperation to explain still evident, Tendou resorted to rambling about the happenings of the day.

‘‘I’m sorry for hurting you, but Bunny, I beg you...I know that we haven't had enough time those last weeks, that we didn't have any if we’re honest. I understand that you must feel neglected. I will change that, give me a chance to make you forgive me, please.’‘

It wasn’t like you wanted to cry again, but the tears rolling down your cheeks seemed to have a mind on their own. ‘’ ‘Tori...’’ you sniffled, your voice breaking away at the last syllable. ‘’Can I hug you?’’

The relief on his face spoke volumes, and before you even got the chance to make good on your words, he already stands tall in front of you, enveloping you tightly.

Securely wrapped up in Satoris’ arms, you feel like coming home after months away. Or like taking in the first gasp of fresh air after holding your breath underwater for too long. With Tendou holding onto you like this, you found the strength to answer.

''I'm sorry, too...I love you so much, and...I know you always have a reason, and it was childish to hang up on you and leave you worrying alone instead of talking to you. And...if you neglected me those last weeks, then I did the same. We both were too busy for each other...''

After a short pause, you ask: ''B-but we can work it out, right?’’ Slowly, you looked up to him. ‘’I want to spend my life with you, Satori. Don’t listen to dumb me 5 hours earlier. 5-hours-ago-me was so stupid, and petty, and does not reflect my true wishes,’’ you added. ’’No one of our old friends wanted to put up with me the last week because I’m so head over heels in love with you and all I do is tell them ‘’You should have seen what Tori did for me’’ and what I plan to do for you...I can feel them roll their eyes from the other side of the world!’’

Suddenly aware of your very honest words, you pushed your face against his chest to hide your burning cheeks. Embarrassment painting them in a pretty hue of pink.

Tendou hadn't realized that he had actually held his breath listening to your words until he chuckled a bit breathlessly. The remaining tension possessing both of your bodies faded away after that, allowing you to relish in the feeling of having the other in your arms again.

After a while, you bravely gazed up at him again, even with your cheeks still set ablaze. ''Come to bed?'' And with a sweet smile, one that reached his eyes and made your heart stutter, he nodded.

Things between the two of you weren't ideal quite yet, Tendou kknew that much. But they would be. Tomorrow would be a new day. You would hopefully agree to celebrate your anniversary a day later. He hoped, that you would agree to spend it with him from the first second you woke up to the very last before you fell asleep. You will hopefully enjoy the news that his promotion was topped with holidays that allowed you to spend Christmas and New Year's Eve with your families in Japan.

He also hoped for you to say yes when, surrounded by your friends, he would ask you to marry him under the Cherry Blossoms in spring.

Things weren't quite ideal, but watching your peaceful expression while sleeping on his chest, he knew, all the up and downs were worth powering through. He would embrace every hardship if that meant keeping you by his side forever.

#Haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #is this a headcanon? idk but I'll tag it like that for now until I know better #haikyuu headcanons #Shiratorizawa x reader #Tendou x reader #Haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios

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twinklecheeks · 4 years ago

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Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 10

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does. You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.

Side note: I am SO SORRY I’ve been MIA since May? June?. I was planning to write chapters throughout the summer but this quarantine thing really affected my mental health. I hope you guys understand. Also, I’m starting my last semester of college next week so Idk my posting schedule.

Warnings! Pregnancy

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Word Count: 2.1k

Okay so now that y/n and Jeff had a rather… Interesting time in Big Bear, they end it with bad news…. And Jeff still hasn’t told his parents about y/n. Christmas is in less than a week! What can go wrong?

12/20/19

Y/n: JEFF. YOU NEVER TOLD YOUR PARENTS THAT I WAS PREGNANT???!

Jeff: hey hey hey, can you calm down. Knowing the piece of shit I can be, I didn’t think I was going to be in your life. But look, I surprised myself!

Y/n: So absolutely no one knows?

Jeff: Karyn does…. Maybe my brother Steven too. Karyn basically knows the whole story.

Y/n: Are your parents going to be mad?

Jeff: Haha no. My ma has been begging me to straighten myself out and have a family. If they knew the whole story,... then they’d kill me.

Y/n: Is it just going to be us and the rest of your fam?

Jeff: Oh I forgot to tell you, Jonah’s family is coming too.

Y/n: Really?! Thank god. If it gets awkward, I can just stuff my face in the corner w/ Jonah.

Jeff: Don’t do that. You have to eat healthy.

Y/n: *gives Jeff a death glare*

Jeff: At least try to. Come on I just don’t want any other risks for the girls.

Y/n: Yeah…. I guess. What are we going to do if they’re deaf? I don’t know whether to choose the cochlear implant for selfish reasons or to let them grow up deaf and learn sign language.

Jeff: If they grow up deaf, we’re gonna have to take one or both of them to speech therapy and that’s going to be extremely difficult because they’re not going to hear if what they’re saying is pronounced right.

Y/n: Maybe we should give them the implant and make them learn sign language? I mean, it’s always beneficial to know another language.

Jeff: But we also have to remember that there’s a chance the implant won’t work and they’re going to have to grow up deaf. Also, remember that there’s a possibility that only one of them is born deaf.

Y/n: I hate how we’re talking about this before Christmas. I thought this was supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year.

Jeff: It is but hey, if my ma gets mad at us, we’re breaking the ice w/ the babies possibly being deaf.

Y/n: JEFF.

Jeff: Oh shut up you know you would do that too w/ your parents.

Y/n: *rolls her eyes* I mean… you’re not wrong.

Jeff: Now hurry up and pack your stuff. We have an early flight tomorrow.

12/21/19

*At the airport w/ the Antonyan’s*

Suzie: I can’t believe we’re spending Christmas in New York!

Jonah: It’s gonna be so cold there though.

Vardon: Shut up Jonah. It’s a free present from David.

Jeff: Hey I’m gonna give y’all a heads up that my parent’s do not know that y/n is pregnant.

Everybody: *looks at Jeff for being a dumbass*

Suzie: You’re so stupid.

Jonah: I agree

Jonah’s mom: She look like she gonna give birth tomorrow and you no tell your parents?!

Jonah’s dad: You in big trouble Jeff

Y/n: *Laughing*

Jeff: Let’s just get on the plane.

*They arrive in New York*

Y/n: Jeff, we can’t just show up to your parent’s house and they see how pregnant I am. It’s going to ruin Christmas!

Jeff: Don’t worry. I’m sure they're going to be fine. I think.

Y/n: JEFF.

Jeff: *sees his older sister* Hey look it’s Karyn!

Karyn: *moves Jeff out of the way* Oh my god y/n! Can't believe you’re having twins!

Y/n: Jeff hasn’t told your parents about me yet.

Karyn: *turns to Jeff* JEFF ARE YOU FUCKIN STUPID

Jeff: Hey can y’all wait to yell at me after we leave the airport. People are staring

*In the car*

Karyn: Jeff I know I gave you a deadline to tell Ma and Pa but that didn’t mean to WAIT UNTIL THE DEADLINE.

Jeff: Everybody just loves to yell at me today

Y/n: How do you honestly think they’re going to react.

Karyn: They probably think Natalie is gonna come

Y/n: *getting madder by the second* THEY KNEW ABOUT NATALIE AND NOT ABOUT ME WHEN I WAS WITH YOU BEFORE HER AND FOR MUCH LONGER.

Jeff: Thanks a lot Karyn why tf did you have to say that.

Karyn: Hey, this is your fault. Not ours. You have to think of a way to tell mom and dad.

Suzie: *sitting in the back* This is going to be an interesting Christmas.

*Jeff’s parent’s house*

Jeff: Here goes nothing. *opens the door* hey ma?? *looks around*

Karyn: Maybe they left to get last minute things for Christmas.

Y/n: Cool, gives me time to hide.

Karyn: Hun, everything is going to be fine.

*another car pulls into the driveway*

Y/n: Oh god I’m going to throw up

Jeff: How about you go to my old room and I talk to them.

Y/n: *walks to Jeff’s old room* What if Jeff’s parents are disappointed that I’m not Natalie? They knew about her and not me.

*Jeff’s parents walk in*

Jeff’s mom: My baby boy! I know it’s only been a month but I love it everytime you come home. Sorry we weren’t here. We were buying more food just in case. You didn’t bring Natalie?

Jeff: About that, her and I are done… for good.

Jeff’s dad: Oh well, that’s too bad son.

Karyn: *whispers* But he did bring someone else…

Jeff: *shoves Karyn* hey, shut it. Ma…. Pa…. There was someone else before Natalie… We went out for a while but I broke it off w/ her cause I was stupid and now we’re back together…

Jeff’s dad: Okay, I don’t see the problem? Is she here?

Jeff: Ummm she is… But there’s something else. She’s pregnant… and they’re mine.

*Jeff’s parents both laugh*

*Everybody else laughs nervously*

Jeff’s mom: Good joke, now where is she?

Karyn: Ma, he’s not joking…

*Jeff’s parents look at everybody*

Jeff’s dad: Oh Jeffrey, what did you do.

Jeff: No no no, everything is fine between us. It was ugly between us at first but now we’re back together.

Jeff’s mom: *processes* WAIT. Did you say “they’re mine” as in PLURAL?!

Jeff: Umm yeah. She’s having twins.

Jeff’s mom: I don't know whether to be angry or excited. I mean I’m going to be a grandmother again!

Jeff’s Dad: If he’s on good terms w/ her and is back together w/ her, I see no problem.

Jeff: Y/n you wanna come out?

Y/n: *Walks out slowly* Hii

Jeff’s mom: My god, how far along are you?

Y/n: 5 months

Jeff’s mom: *turns to Jeff* You kept this from us for HOW LONG.

Jeff: We can talk about that later but at least give a warm welcome to the mother of your soon to be granddaughters.

Jeff’s family: IT’S TWIN GIRLS

Jeff’s mom: Oh my god I feel like fainting but I won’t. Oh dear congratulations. I’m going to spoil those little girls rotten. *hugs y/n*

Y/n: Thank you so much. I was afraid of how you would react.

Jeff’s dad: His mom has been begging him to settle down for years. She finally got her wish.

Jeff’s mom: This is a Christmas gift I wasn't expecting at all but I am so happy for the both of you. Jeffrey is a natural when he spends time w/ his sister’s children.

Y/n: haha that’s good to know.

Jeff’s dad: Dear they’re probably all tired. Let them rest for a bit and we’ll go out later tonight.

*Jeff and Y/n take a nap in Jeff’s old room*

Y/n: Well, that went better than expected. I just wish my parents were like that…

Jeff: Babe don’t worry, they’ll come around.

Y/n: I doubt it. When my older sister moved out, they didn’t talk to her for a year but when our older brother moved out, my parents helped him w/ everything! All I’ve done is please them and I do one thing they don’t like and I’M DISOWNED?? QUE SE VAYAN AL CARAJO!

Jeff: Hey hey hey, calm down. You don’t wanna stress the girls out.

Y/n: I mean, at least my siblings are on my side but they live in Seattle.

Jeff: We also have like 20 friends who will always be w/ us. The twins will always have family around.

Y/n: I’m just wondering when we should tell them about the deaf thing.

Jeff: I think we should wait until after the holidays. Maybe in February? I just think we need our time to process and prepare ourselves for anything before it’s confirmed once they’re born.

Y/n: Yeah, you’re right. But February is my birthday though… I don’t wanna ruin the fun w/ that.

Jeff: Hurry up and get dressed. I have a little surprise for you but you have to close your eyes when you get in the car.

Y/n: Jeff please don’t send me into pre-term labor.

Jeff: Don’t worry. It’s nothing bad. I think you’ll love it.

*Jeff drives to Brooklyn*

Jeff: Okay we're almost there. Are your eyes still closed?

Y/n: Yeeees. Boy I’m getting impatient.

Jeff: We’re here. I’ll help you get out of the car. Okay now you can open your eyes.

Y/n: *turns around* NO FUCKING WAY. RIMINI’S.

Jeff: Yeah. I remember you sayin that you came to this bakery all the time. And that they had your favorite cookies in the world.

Y/n: Jeff. I haven't been here in 10 years. My grandpa would always take me here. I lived 5 minutes down the street.

Jeff: That’s why I brought you here. I knew how much it meant to you.

Y/n: I know you’re not proposing but I would’ve said yes in a millisecond. Now let’s go inside! I have to get their italian butter cookies and I’m bringing a bunch back to LA. I don’t know the next time I’ll be able to come back.

Jeff: I mean, we’d be coming back quite often after the babies are born to visit my family.

Y/n: Okay but I’m still bringing a bunch back. You can’t get anything like this back in LA.

Jeff: But don’t go overboard w/ the sweets. You don’t want gestational diabetes.

Y/n: *death glares* You sayin I eat too much?

Jeff: No no no, you know what I mean.

Y/n: *pouts* But they taste so good :(

Jeff: Which means you should ration them as much as possible. Also, when we film for my channel, you might wanna hide these from Jonah.

Y/n: I swear to god if Jonah even THINKS about eating my damn cookies, I’m going to jail for manslaughter…

Jeff: Hun, what did I say about the anger. Don’t stress the girls out.

*Back at Jeff’s house*

Jeff’s dad: Well look who finally came back. We wanted to take you guys out but y’all left.

Jeff: Sorry pops, Y/n and I went to Brooklyn. She lived there until she was 11.

Jeff’s mom: Oh wow, I wouldn’t have guessed you were from New York too.

Y/n: Yeah, my parents moved my older siblings and I to Seattle because it was getting hard w/ the cost of living. Also, my grandfather passed away, so there wasn’t really any reason for us to stay there. My parent’s LOVED living here.

Jeff’s dad: Your parents are from New York too?

Y/n: No. My parents immigrated from Peru. My dad came in the 70s as a teenager and went back and forth. My mom immigrated here in the 80s. They still have a bunch of friends here and they still know the city like they still live here.

Jeff’s mom: Why didn’t you invite them for Christmas in the city. I bet it would bring back so many good memories for them.

Y/n: *sighs* Well, we're kind of not talking at the moment… They were really disappointed when I told them I was pregnant. My older siblings are supportive though.

Karyn: Well that’s good that you have older siblings that will always look out for you. That’s why I give dumb dumb over there *points at Jeff* a hard time.

Jeff: What the fuck.

Karyn: They’ll come around eventually but even if it takes an eternity, just know that you have us now. We’re family! Even if Jeff somehow messes things up w/ you in the future.

Jeff: Ma can you tell her to stop!

Jeff’s mom: Karyn, stop bullying your brother.

Next chapter is CHRISTMAAAAS. (Don’t worry it’s already done. I won't post it for another couple of days) Also, some of the stuff in this chapter is kind of based on me. (Not the pregnant thing. I’ve never been pregnant lmao) But I was born in Brooklyn and the immigrant parents/ moving away thing is from my real life. (but not the moving away cause of grandpa. He was still alive for a couple years after.) But the cookies from Rimini’s… Will change your LIFE.

Comment if you want to be on the taglist!

Taglist: @elvlogsquad @siemprestan @zavidzobrik @galxydefender @iminlovewithenchilidadas @ilsolee @ranprivate @one-sweet-gubler @sunwardsss @shamalamashams @michellemxndes

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just-anka · 4 years ago

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I realised I haven’t really regularly posted here since like... I don’t even know, September? It’s been a while, anyway. A lot happened, and I now feel like actually writing a post for the first time in a while, so here goes haha. The first bullet point is entirely work waffle so feel free to skip. Apologies in advance for the fact that this post will probably reach novel length by the time I’m done.

• I took a week off in late September before Ben started his new job so we could go to the mountains for a bit, and it was a much-needed little break from work. And pretty much right after I got back, work got completely mental - nothing bad as such, just one thing after the other, loads of deadlines, so many important things. First I was finishing up data for a paper (first authorship was being debated which is partially why I threw myself into the job so much, but it looks like it’ll be the PhD student before me’s now, which is how it should be tbh, it’s much more hers than it is mine), then the date for my first committee meeting was set and I suddenly had only two weeks to prepare (did not think it was going to be that short notice, whoops, had a very stressful two weeks but all went well - for us, this meeting means presenting our research plan and preliminary data to a committee of four professors so they can give you input, it’s not suuuper formal but still pretty stressful), then I had to write the report for that (I love writing so that one was okay), then there was suddenly a lot to do for a really important cooperation with a company (big money responsibility which stressed me the fuck out), and then, just as I thought I was pretty much done for the year, I realised I needed my lab book up to date for my end of year meeting with my PI (which wouldn’t be such a big deal, except I didn’t have a lab book at the time. Never got around to starting one. So nine months of lab book were written within another very stressful week). Whew. Even writing this out makes me feel like that was a lot haha.

• After the end of year discussion, I really was done for the year - I officially worked until the 23rd but there was not that much actual work happening, and with the pressure off after months, I properly crashed for a few days. Ben left for England on the weekend after to see his family for christmas etc, and I spent most of that weekend sleeping and doing very little. It was needed. Then my mum came to visit me for the holidays and we had four really lovely days together, also involving a lot of chilling (the only actual thing we did was that magical winter hike that I posted some pictures of the other day).

• And now I’m skiing! I was planning to go to England as well for NYE to see Ben’s family, but with the corona situation escalating again lately I decided it was too risky for just a few days. So I made a last-minute plan to go skiing by myself instead, because all that involves is a 2 hour train journey. I’m actually staying in a hotel too, which I’ve never done by myself before, I’m usually a dorm in a hostel type of person, but well. Covid has changed a lot of things :D trying to stay safe and away from people, which is of course not entirely possible in a ski resort, but it’s going okay. The skiing itself is great, it’s really nice having some time to go at my own pace and a few days in a row. Today was day 4 and I’ve really found my groove again (more on that later). There’s not much snow though so not many off-pisteing opportunities :/ I’m staying until Monday and then it’s back to work on Wednesday.

• Speaking of skiing, we’ve got season passes this year, my first season and Ben’s second. We’ve just been doing on the weekends so far - since the 21st of November I just realised while looking back in my calendar! That’s one hell of an early season start haha. We did just one day three weekends and then one full weekend right before Ben left. The first few days were bloody hard. For context, I learned to ski before I learned to walk and loved it as a child, then stopped for a few years because I felt like I wasn’t progressing anymore and was getting bored with it, basically. Then last January I went to France with Ben and his skiing friends and got introduced to freeriding and the idea of ski touring, and now I’m back to loving it haha. I’d ideally like to not have to resort ski anymore at one point (meaning touring) because I know it’s terrible from an environmental standpoint but... idk. It’s currently my only option, and I love it a lot, so I guess it feels okay? Anyway, since I learned to ski so early, it’s the one sport that I’ve always been pretty good at and like, never get scared, at least not on piste. Until this year. The first three individual days were just all kind of horrible, the conditions weren’t ideal with very hard surface and tons of ice and pretty busy slopes, and only steep terrain open as well (Engelberg, our “home” resort - we have a season pass that encompasses a bunch of resorts so we’re not limited to one - is literally dead flat beginner’s slopes, which weren’t open in the beginning, or red runs that should be black and black lol). Pairing loads of ice with my old skis which barely have an edge anymore was... not ideal. I was so scared constantly and it made me like I lost all my ability etc etc. But yeah, turns out I just needed a few days and some easier conditions to get back into it, and now ice and steep stuff and everything is fine again. Who would’ve thought. (a sensible person, probably).

• But then, the full weekend we skied in December was awesome! Saturday already felt much better and then it snowed a bunch over night and Sunday we spent all day powder skiing, basically. I learned SO much and just had an absolute ball! Definitely one of the best days skiing I’ve had, and one of the best days recently in general.

• Plus that whole weekend was just lovely, car camping in a campsite full of huge campervans was pretty fun :D I love the looks we get when people see the car and clearly wonder where we sleep. And we’ve got our setup perfected for winter now so both the nights were toasty. Friday night we had dinner in “bed” watching a movie, and Saturday night we sat in the little kitchen (the campsite has it open for everyone, but everyone else there has a camper, so it doesn’t seem to be used much) drinking tea and playing cards and ahh. Camping in the mountains. My ideal life eh? (though the weekend before this wonderful one, we got snowed in because it dumped over a metre over night completely unexpectedly and that was stressful as hell, but I think that’s a story for another day, if ever, I’m kind of trying to forget that day :’D)

• Yesterday I also finally took the plunge and ordered new skis. Been debating for ages which ones to get but I’ve finally decided and I’m now very excited!

• Ok this post so far reads as “work and skiing” which is pretty much what November and December were and probably what January is going to be too haha. Ben and I want to ski another week together end of January as well, and there’s some big exciting work things coming up as well.

• Even though I have to admit, now that I’m on a break, I’ve spent a lot of time dreading work and questioning my career choices and all of that lark... sigh. I love my job most of the time, but I kind of hate having a job? If that makes sense? Sometimes (okay a lot of the time) I just wish I had more time for other things that I care about. But I also now I’m lucky to have that job, especially this year, and lucky to have a job I don’t hate, and get to do a lot of fun stuff on the side, even if it often means little sleep and downtime.

• Speaking of things I care about, I was on a proper roll with writing for a few days before and after Christmas. It’s ebbed off again a bit, but it was still pretty cool, and my totally-useless-all-cheese-project is now 33,000+ words long and like, half-way there story wise. Had a lot of fun with that.

• Lastly, Ben is still in England, and he’s coming back next Sunday, and I can’t wait! I miss him so much when we’re not together it’s actually silly. Although it’s less stressful this time than the last few times because... we live together, his work just offered him an unlimited contract from January, and I’m stuck here for another 2-3 years, so it looks like we’ll actually get to be in the same place for now. Which is all I wished for last year, and I’m so damn grateful - that stability really is the best thing 2020 has brought for me. And, as he said, even though we were apart for the start of the new year, it will hopefully bring more time together than any previous year ♡

• Okay I think this is long enough now, if you actually made it until here you’re a hero and I will try and post a bit more regularly again now to avoid this size of mind dump :’D I hope you all got into the new year alright, it feels very strange to me that it’s 2021 because I actually slept through midnight on new year’s for the first time since I was tiny haha but I’m sure a lot of people feel the same way!

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emma-what-son · 4 years ago

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(Echee post) Did Emma Watson actually graduate from Brown University? Special treatment at college?

Posted on November 8, 2015

*PS this is a work in progress, will take a few days to get it in order...so apologies if it is incomplete Intro Emma has been talking about how important education is to her since she was 10. Even during the first interviews for Harry Potter promotion, back in 2001 for Philosopher's Stone, she was adamant about going to college. She's continuously said how important college/education is throughout the Harry Potter promotion years, but does what she say match up with what she actually did? She was playing along with that bullshit "Classy, educated" image she and her PR team (like her publicist Luke) have crafted for her, the one where she claims she is exactly the same as Hermione, the beloved character from the Harry Potter franchise. Course though, she's contradicted herself on that multiple, multiple times - sometimes saying she's exactly like Hermione, and other times claiming they're extremely different. There was some extremely strange stuff going down with Emma's Brown University Education though....as will be revealed below. And you'll have to start wondering if she actually did graduate or how much, how extensive and enormous, was the amount of special, unequal treatment she got for being a celebrity and a feminist (College campuses love pandering to social justice warriors/feminists - part of it is a natural love for them and another part is Obama forcing them to through the OCR and Title IX) Emma's Education Emma entered Brown University the Fall of 2009. Brown is a private, 4 year university/college in America. Emma entered Brown as an international student studying on an F-1 Visa. Okay Emma didn't do much BS during her first 3 semester (Fall 2009, Spring 2010, Fall 2010) at Brown and seemed to study there like most normal students, but it's after the first three semesters that things started getting extremely strange and Emma started telling a whole bunch of lies. Emma constantly raved about how awesome college is and gave every single impression she was going back to Brown in Spring 2011. getSurrey November 2010: getSurrey: Will you carry on acting? Emma: I will keep on acting. I’ve just been in a film called My Week With Marilyn. I’ve just finished shooting that. But finishing university is a priority. But I hope I do lots more things. I don’t really want to be put in a box – just yet. I’m not exactly sure. University Magazine Interview by Colin Turner (November 2010?): (Okay just note that this interview came out in June/July 2011 for Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 2 Promotion, but Emma mentions in the interview she just finished filming My Week with Marilyn, which happened in November 2010. Uni magazine is this student run magazine, so I'm assuming they don't do monthly issues (don't have the money/people for that) so it takes them several months to release an issue.) Colin Turner: You’ve gone to university, obviously, do you imagine taking up acting in the future or are you just seeing what happens? Emma: I just did a movie, finished something last week, “My week with Marilyn”, which is exciting. No, I think I’ll just keep doing things. But my education is my number one priority at the moment and everything else comes around that really. Parade Magazine Interview November 2010 (Emma Watson's Campus Confidential, interviewed by Jeanne Wolf): "I get some amazing offers to act, and sometimes it’s hard to say, “No, I’m going to stay here and do my homework.” People are like, “What do you mean she’s not available?” I may do some theater next summer, but this college experience is really important to me, and I won’t give it up for anything. I’m not going to school just for the academics–I wanted to share ideas, to be around people who are passionate about learning."

Echee says: Okay, notice how in November 2010 and even right up until January 17, Emma claims/gives the strong impression she's definitely going back to Brown University for the Spring 2011 semester. Big lol at the "this college experience is really important to me, and I won’t give it up for anything" two months before she did. By the way I have to mention the whole "Sorry for long absence from here - so much to do and so little time to do it in before I go back to school! Hope you're all ok x" was originally a tweet from Emma's @EmWatson twitter account but after she left university she deleted it lol. The picture I posted is from the official (that's why there's the blue check mark) Emma Watson Facebook page run by both Emma and her team. I guess she forgot to delete the facebook post after she deleted her tweet. For Spring 2011, the first day of classes was January 26 (per the academic calendar). Yet even at January 17, Emma stated she was getting ready to go back to school, hence her "so little time to do it in before I go back to school!" How the fuck can she be confused 1 week before classes start whether she's taking a personal leave of absence or not? Brown University Personal Leave of Absence Deadline

Brown University 3 types of leaves of absence

Okay, so of Brown University's three types of leaves of absence, Emma took personal. The deadline to declare you're taking next semester off is December 1, hence the Brown policy "If you are planning to take leave for the spring semester (Semester 2), you must declare by Dec. 1st." Either Emma was lying and trying to delay revealing she was taking time off to do her Perks of Being a Wallflower filming and BS Lancôme makeup and perfume work (very possible since she lies so much), or she was honestly undecided until right before, and thus requested special, unequal treatment that despite her missing the deadline, she should be allowed to take a leave of absence. Anyway I think it was special treatment from Brown allowing their publicity cow to get what she wanted. That means she was clearly lying in her January 17 tweet about going back to school.

This from Amanda Foreman, Emma's interviewer, for Emma's Vogue Magazine July 2011 interview: Emma struggled valiantly to fit everything into her life, becoming increasingly exhausted, until over Christmas advisors at Brown suggested that she take a leave of absence, a turn of events Yates was not surprised by. Notice how the Vogue article says it was "over Christmas"....Christmas Break for Brown starts after December 1, the deadline. First off, unless Emma's doctor signed off on it, then it was NOT a medical leave of absence, and her advisors gave her special treatment since she missed the personal leave of absence deadline already. And You know December 25 is over 3 weeks after the December 1st deadline, so that's an amazingly long extension despite the severe, absolute terms of "You must declare by December 1". Anyway, wowza, off to a bad start....getting special treatment when you're quitting school temporarily. Well, whatever, it's equality feminist Emma Watson that we are talking about here. She runs her mouth off talking about feminism and equality and whatever but like most Western (usually Caucasian) privileged feminists, have no idea what she's talking about. Despite Brown's Spring 2011 semester starting at the end of January, Emma kept quiet about all this until March 7, 2011. She announced it on her website EmmaWatson.com (which is now defunct and shut down): Here's her statement on March 7, 2011: As you know, I love Brown and I love studying pretty much more than anything. But recently I've had so much to juggle that being a student AND fulfilling my other commitments has become a little impossible. I've decided to take a bit of time off to completely finish my work on Harry Potter (the last one comes out this summer) and to focus on my other professional and acting projects. I will still be working towards my degree … it's just going to take me a semester or two longer than I thought : ) Hope you are all well! Thank you for all your continuing support. Emma xx.

On February 10, 2011 (well after the Brown semester had started), Emma confirms on twitter that she will be filming Perks of Being a Wallflower, which interfered with Brown (Brown school date ends May 20, Perks started filming May 9) and she had also already had various talks and was close to finalizing a deal with Lancôme. And she knew she would have to do some filming work for Lancôme commercials in the coming months. At this point clearly she was taking the semester off and yet she didn't announce it until March 7, 2011. Why'd she wait an entire month??? Why be so secretive of it? Just like how a week before classes started she was claiming she was getting ready to go back to school. And then why wait another month before she and Harry Potter publicist Vanessa Davies, release more details of this leave of absence? April 23, 2011 Press Release to Associated Press: LONDON (AP) — A spokeswoman for Harry Potter star Emma Watson says she will be transferring from Brown University to another university in the autumn. Vanessa Davies denied reports that the 21-year-old actress was "bullied out" of the Rhode Island university, saying there was no truth in reports by a number of online publications who cited classmates and "insiders". Davies said Saturday that Watson, who plays Hermione in the wizard movie series, has decided to pursue a different course not offered at Brown. She added that the star "has absolutely loved her time at Brown" and made many good friends there. Watson has recently taken time out of her studies to focus on her movie career. She has said that her first days in college were difficult. Davies did not identify the university Watson will be transferring to. Emma releases a statement April 30, 2011 on her website EmmaWatson.com (now defunct): I felt the need to let you all know the reason I took a semester off from Brown had nothing to do with bullying as the media have been suggesting recently. I have never been bullied in my life and certainly never at Brown. This "10 points to Gryffindor" incident never even happened. I feel the need to say this because accusing Brown students of something as serious as bullying and this causing me to leave seems beyond unfair. Please don't try and speculate about what I might do in September - no one can possibly know because I don't even know yet! Like my other fellow Brown students I am trying to figure out my third year and whether or not I will spend it abroad (this is common).

If you wondered why Emma let Vanessa Davies announce the transferring information, instead of Emma just announcing it on her website a week later, it's because Davies is head of publicity at Harry Potter, so they were working out how best to frame the narrative that Emma is still a hardworking student. Don't forget, ~200 million is spent on Harry Potter marketing for HP Deathly Hallows and Davies is part of that team and one of the heads. Warner Brothers had to protect their little cash cow until the movies were over and Emma couldn't damage their profits. Also, the Harry Potter spokesperson, Vanessa Davies, says Emma will be "transferring" but from Emma's own message (and it's later revealed), she was actually only just studying abroad, not transferring. Weird. April 2011 Associated Press Interview: I just knew I was going to be beating myself up because I wasn't going to be able to be doing the best that I knew that I could at school or in my job. If I'd been getting B's or C's I would've been really upset. Wonderland Magazine February 2014: You realize you can't do everything. I really did think I could do it all - commute back to the UK for Potter filming and press, then go to Brown for finals, and keep up with my friends and family. You can't do it by the way. You do have to take breaks. It's how I became interested in meditation and yoga. I developed bedtime rituals. Elle Magazine UK November 2011: Of course Harry Potter got in the way, with its relentless round of reshoots and promotion, meaning that Emma had to temporarily halt her studies at the start of this year. "I was basically commuting across the Atlantic. Taking a semester out wasn't what I wanted to do, but I am still enrolled at Brown." Collider.com Interview with Steve Weintraub November 14, 2010: Well, I keep trying to but she keeps finding her way back into my life. I still have two movies left to promote, and they’re still cutting and editing Part 2 so I might have to do some more voice recording and other stuff for it, so it’s a very gradual goodbye. I’m being eased out of it gently........I mean we are special, it is Harry Potter. But we only had two days—I was being sarcastic (laughs). Sorry, I have to like fill that in because otherwise it will be written, “we are special!” (laughs). But yeah we only had two days to shoot it and we needed so much more time than that. So yeah, we have reshoots at Christmas. So it’s not over. It’s not over yet guys! Echee says: Okay, what? Notice how in Wonderland Emma claims she was busy filming for Harry Potter and her Elle Magazine interviewer claims the same. Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 1 and Part 2 filming ended in June 2010, and then for less than a week they had to reshoot the epilogue in December 2010 (they reshot around Christmas time, so Emma had already finished her Brown Semester). They re-shot the epilogue because the makeup/CGI made the actors look elderly instead of middle aged. Also, HP and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 premiere was July 15, 2011. Generally press begins one month in advance (though you might do some magazine interviews 3-4 months in advance). Emma was not seen at any events/doing press until beginning of July 2011. She was stuck in Pittsburgh doing Perks of Being a Wallflower filming (which took place from May 9 to June 29, 2011) Emma was also filming for and doing work on her Lancôme stuff in March/April. How can she claim she was too busy during the Spring 2011 school year (which was from January 26 - May 20) with Potter filming and promotion? She did none of that. The overlap she had with school and non-school stuff was Perks filming and Lancôme filming/promotion. It had NOTHING to do with taking time off for Potter. Plus she was negotiating those deals for Perks in January 2011 and for Lancôme in December-ish. There was ZERO reason for her to take time off from school, but she did, because she was desperate for fame/money, and she blamed it on Potter to hide the truth. PopSugar On-Set May/June 2011 Interview with

Shannon Vestal Robson: Shannon: Have you read the book, and do you feel pressure to live up to it? Emma: I read the script first and then I read the book. It was so funny because I read the script and I came back to Brown and I told my roommates that I've just read this amazing script, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and my friends were like, "Oh, that's my favorite book. So jealous that you get to play Sam. If I was ever going to be in a movie, if I was ever going to play any character ever, it would be Sam. Notice how Emma mentions going back to Brown and asking her Brown roommates (Scout Willis, Madison Utendahl, etc.) about the book. So even during the Fall 2010 Semester, she was secretly thinking of filming Perks next year. And remember the interviews I posted above (from November 2010) where she claimed education and university came first? BS. She was already planning back in September 2010 (when she went back to Brown) about leaving next year. Also, remember this. Emma is claiming she was overworked with Brown and Potter stuff.....why in September 2010 was she looking at possible filming projects that would coincide with Spring 2011 Semester and Summer? If you claim you are overworked, why are you looking to add on more, extra, unnecessary work. She was also negotiating her Lancôme deal in December 2010 as well. Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 2 New York City Press Conference July 2011 (Listen at 17:30): "I'm going to Oxford, in the fall, to study English for a year. Just to explain, I haven't left Brown. I'm still enrolled at Brown, but I'm doing my third year abroad. Studying at home, abroad, for me. So I'll go back to the States to do my last year. I took a semester off but my A-Level credits actually count as an advance-place-me-out-a-semester so I'm no further behind, I'm still technically going into my third year. So, yeah, that's that." Something to remember is how Vanessa Davies (when the Harry Potter spokeswoman announced Emma was transferring from Brown in April)says "Watson, who plays Hermione in the wizard movie series, has decided to pursue a different course not offered at Brown". On Emma's EmmaWatson.com website in the FAQ section (undated), she says this: I was seriously torn as to whether to stay in the UK or go to the States as let's face it the UK has some of the best universities in the world. But, ultimately, I loved the course at Brown and really liked the idea of experiencing a different country and culture - and I must say I've never been happier, I absolutely love Brown. So strange how Emma + her Harry Potter spokesperson contradict each other. Emma claims she purposefully chose Brown (instead of staying in the UK for university) because she loved Brown's course, but then the spokesperson said the reason Emma is transferring is because Emma was sad that Brown didn't have the course she wanted to take. Emma reveals in the press conference that she will be studying English a Oxford. The thing is, Emma was and did graduate as an English Literature major. So Brown did have the course she wanted to take (which is what she earlier said). Okay so Watson claims here that despite taking an entire semester (3-5 classes) off, she's no further behind than the rest of her classmates. Damn, this girl must be such a hard worker to not fall behind. Still, is she telling the truth, lying as usual, or begging/threatening Brown University to give her special, unequal treatment? Fact checking Watson's "advance-place-me-out-a-semester" claim Brown University Office of the Registrar - The College, Advanced Standing Guidelines

Anyway, there's a lot of information and I only parsed out a bit of it, but here's a quick summary. Basically, to graduate from Brown University, you need to take a minimum of 30 classes during your college years (can be at Brown or other approved colleges) and also a minimum of 8 semesters. Just to mention, A-Levels are the UK equivalent of American Advanced Placement (A.P.) courses or International Baccalaureate (IB) courses. Also, when Brown says "credits" they mean courses/classes. So, yes, Emma told the truth in that her semester standing is no further behind because her A-Levels counted as an extra semester. However! Emma is still behind in total number of classes taken because A-Levels do not count towards your degree requirement of 30 classes/courses. So she needs to take more classes per semester than the average person since she's behind.

Vanity Fair May 2010 Interview: After shopping classes, she settled on European women's history, Ovid's Metamorphoses, and acting. “I think actually I'm the worst person in the class,” says Watson cheerily. So in Emma's first semester (that's the time period they're talking about), Emma took 3 classes - women's history (lol at this feminist class), Ovid, and acting. Brown requires students to take 3-5 classes a semester and so Emma took the bare minimum....kind of super lazy for someone so excited to get to college and start learning and whatever else she's been spouting for years. Okay, Brown's most basic, elementary requirement that ALL students have to fulfill to graduate is to take 30 classes. Since Emma only took 3 classes her first semester, that means 30 - 3 = 27 classes left to take over 7 semesters. Since Emma took a semester off but claims advanced standing, meaning she wants to graduate in May 2013 (September 2009 - May 2013), that means...... 27 classes over 6 total semesters. 27 / 6 = 4.5 classes per semester This I will go into detail in below, later, but just a heads up, Emma also took the Fall 2012 Semester off in order to film Noah. Because Emma had enough A-Levels, she did indeed get 2 semesters of advanced standing, but to graduate in 6 semesters means...... 30 minimum classes to graduate / 6 semesters = 5 classes a semester every semester Brown only allows you to take a max of 5 classes a semester and since Emma only took 3 classes her very first semester at Brown, it means it's impossible for Emma to graduate by May 2013 without special, unequal treatment....special treatment being either lowering the required 30 classes or allowing her to take 6 classes a semester, but come on, Emma is super lazy and unprofessional. Can you honestly see this girl doing 6 classes a semester when she lazily only took 3 classes her first semester? Freshman year is the easiest you know.... And their 30 classes requirement is their most basic requirement - to let her worm her way out of it would be absolutely disgusting.

#echee #echee's posts #brown

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soliverse · 4 years ago

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SAY YOU LOVE ME - PART 4

rockstar!taeyongxjournalist!reader

genre: angst, suggestive, romance

warnings: mentions of emotional abuse and manipulation, panic attacks, stalker behavior, and cussing

1 ⭒ 2 ⭒ 3 ⭒ 4 ⭒ 5 ⭒ finale pt 1

Length: 3k

ps: if you are not comfortable with that sort of stuff, I will insert a warning within the story so you can skip it.

Also: the story is fictional and is no way related to NCT and its brand, especially Yuta. These are all a part of my imagination and I felt like it was needed to push the story further. Again, happy reading! - Ellie

The boys of 1:27 made a detour on a small BBQ shop on their way home to celebrate their successful performance for that night. Charlie promised them that she’ll pay for dinner and so they are stopped at the BBQ shack that they passed by on their way home. Everyone excitedly stepped out from the minivan with their arms around each other.

At this time of the night, they were the only ones inside the place. They took it as a go signal to be loud and did as they please. On a respectable manner, of course.

On one side, Johnny was filming a vlog with Mark and Doyoung. They talked about how they had fun at the performance and they wished that they can do more stuff like that in the future. Meanwhile, Taeyong helped Charlie decide what and how much to order.

The pair came out alongside the staff to help them in carrying their massive order. They brought out about five trays of barbeque and side dishes which almost didn’t fit the small rectangular table that they have. They thank the staff for their troubles and started gobbling marinated meat right away.

The staff then came out with another tray. This time, it was filled by glasses containing amber-tinted liquid.

The boys cheered as Charlie went around the table and gave each one a glass. Mark was the first one that was handed the drink and so he took a sip right away. He then started laughing uncontrollably as he takes a sip once again from the glass.

“Dude, it’s apple juice.”

Charlie went back to her seat smiling smugly.

“Of course, it’s apple juice. I’m not going to baby your drunk asses off when we get home.”

The table went quiet, filling the room with sounds of chewing and utensils clanking over plates. Doyoung tried to lighten the mood up and started sharing stories about the miniconcert that they were invited in. They also got along well with the other performers and started taking pictures with them as well.

Charlie whipped out her phone and showed everybody pictures and videos that she captured while they are performing. They can all hear the cheers and screams coming from the videos. The loudest was definitely Charlie. Everyone was excitedly jumping up and down and singing their song with them. They got all hot and sweaty from the humid weather and moving around the stage. That didn’t stop them from interacting and hyping up the audience. She even argued that it made them even more appealing, especially to the young ladies watching. Some of them even tried to get the boys’ number but they all politely declined and just settled for selfies instead.

They also played games that night which resorted to Mark paying almost half the bill as they left. The guys thanked the owners for not kicking them out for being so noisy and promised that they’ll be back to eat there again. They hopped inside one by one and passed out as soon as their bodies touched the seats.

Taeyong stayed up for a bit and waited until everyone was asleep. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and leaned on the glass window, making a tired peace sign. He sent you the pic and typed a message right after.

Taeyong: We did well today. I’m almost home. Missed u.

His thumb hovered over the send button for a while. He cringed at the last sentence and erased it before sending it to you and popped in his eyemask and headphones to sleep.

///

“Any more questions about your assignments for this month?”

Everyone remained quiet and just shook their heads in response. The team meeting took longer than expected and it is already past lunch time. You were impatiently scribbling on the notes that you took earlier. A little trick that you do so you will look like you’re busy doing something productive. Your thoughts are now clouded by hunger and boredom and and you kept looking at the clock ticking. You are silently praying that no one will ask a question and extend the meeting any further.

“Okay then.”

The supervisor, an old guy in his early fifties, finally closes the presentation and started closing the tabs in his windows. He shut the laptop down and slammed it close.

“We’ll see each other again same time next month. Remember to stick to your deadlines.”

Finally.

The room rattled as everyone tries to pack up their stuff and get out as fast as they can. You stood up from your chair. You did a bunch of weird poses to stretch your aching body from sitting down too long as you waited for the crown to dissipate before walking away from the room.

You grabbed your handbag from beside you and dug through tons of your unorganized stuff before you were finally to fish your phone out to do a time check. Instead, you were met by tons of photos and videos sent by Charlie that morning. They were mostly pictures of them rehearsing and goofing around the area. A slight curved on your lips as saved all of them in your phone and made your way into the breakroom.

Things are going well for the past couple of weeks. You and Taeyong barely talked before the event because he was busy practicing but at least you can finally look him in the eyes. Greetings are also once again exchanged, you even sent him off on their way to the event. With that out of the way, you’re finally able to catch up on to your prior commitments and saved yourself from being fired that week.

You bolted to the breakroom because you can now hear your stomach complaining. You politely bowed at everyone inside and snaked your way through a bunch of your coworkers. Today’s hot topic was them complaining about how long the meeting was and that Mr. Supervisor purposely stretched the meeting out because he wanted to spite all of you. None of that mattered to you though. The croquette that you made last night for lunch was the only thing on your mind. Upon reaching the fridge of the tiny breakroom, you microwaved your lunch for a few seconds before to your cubicle to eat in peace.

You greeted the one sitting beside you before you took a seat. The stacks of folders and papers were set aside to make way for your lunch bag. You carefully took the contents and dived right in to calm down your growling stomach. At the same time, you decided to pop in an earphone and listened to some of 1:27 recordings while eating. A ding! interrupted the music so you absent-mindedly opened the messages without seeing who it’s from.

Abby: Hey boo.

The text intrigued you. She wasn’t the type to text someone unless it’s an emergency.

You: Oh hey. What’s up?”

Abby: Don’t freak out, okay?

Abby: I think I saw Yuta in the mall today.

You felt a lump on your throat, and it wasn’t your lunch. You felt as if someone threw a bucket of iced water at you. You’ve set your lunch down and immediately pressed reply.

You: You sure it’s him?

You: Guy might be visiting his sis. I’m sure it’s nothing.

Abby: You sure?

Abby: Would you like to stay at our place for a while? I’m sure big bro wouldn’t mind.

As much as you wanted to stay over at anyone’s house for tonight, the Li household wasn’t the best option either. The last time you slept over, he glared at you whenever you tried moving anything in the house by a small fraction.

This might be an overstatement but the only thing scarier than Yuta is judgmental Li Yongqin.

You: Yeah, it’s probably nothing. Don’t worry about me.

Abby: Just in case something happens, you have my number okay? Be safe.

You dropped your phone at your desk and you felt your body getting colder and your breaths getting shorter once again. Eating lunch didn’t feel right anymore so you placed the lid back on and slipped it back, exchanging it with the water bottle. You drank half of its content and took deep, long breathes to slow down your racing heart for a bit. You dizzily bobbed your head down and rested your head on your folded arms. People asked if you were okay but you just smiled weakly and insisted that you’ll just sit the day out until office hours was over

As the day ended, Abigail Li picked you up from work that day. She insisted that if you’re not staying over at their house, the least thing that she can do was to make sure that you get home safely.

“Are you sure that you don’t want to stay over? I’ll lock Yongqin in my closet upstairs if it makes you feel any better.” Abby knew what her brother did last time and she made Ten apologize for the glaring at her. He did some half-hearted apology before glaring one last time and shutting himself back to his room.

“Relax. I’ll be fine. It’s been years since we’ve last seen each other. He probably moved on already.”

A sigh left her mouth.

“Fine. Don’t forget to lock everything when you sleep, aight?”

///

The first thing you did as soon as you got home was to lock everything just like what Abby said. You said that you’ll be fine to assure Abby, but you know you couldn’t be too sure about Yuta. First thing you did was grab a few chips and a can of cat food for Felice. The bedroom was the most secure part of the house so you decided that the best thing to do was to camp in there until the morning comes.

You held Felice close and stroke her soft fur to calm yourself down. She had become your most loyal companion on your path to recovery when you shut yourself from everyone else. She snuggles into your chest and purred lightly, probably sensing your uneasiness.

You used all your willpower to sleep that night but your mind was restless. Even after you stuffed yourself full, drank room temperature milk and fiddled on some fancam videos, you just couldn’t your mind off of Nakamoto Yuta.

The last time that you saw him was when you were crying nonstop at the police station as Abby and Sophie held you in.

Everything played out in your head like a film in cinema.

Na Yuta.

Awesome performer.

Awful person.

(This part may be a trigger to some readers so if you wouldn’t be comfortable reading this, skip to the next ///)

Everyone knew that he’s a player. That’s the first thing that he told you when you met him. It made him look dangerous, something you just need in order to spice out your cookie cutter life. Your parents just went into divorce and your life was going downhill.

He’s just a perfect distraction.

It went well at first, you became his muse. He’d shower you with love and gifts. He made you feel things that you never felt before. That didn’t last very long though.

Not even a year later, fights became a common occurrence. You finally understood how someone can love and hate a person at the same time. As soon as you realized the kind of guy that he is, you couldn’t get out. You made excuses after excuses and still waited for the time that he will change.

He’d go on tours and you would hear stories about him being seen with other women. Plural. Witnesses gave you a different description at every story that you believed it was ridiculous. It’s probably a colleague. Or it was fan and hew was just doing a bit of fanservice. That’s what you believed because that’s what he’d tell you every time you would confront him about it.

At the few times that you did caught him, he’d lie blatantly as if he didn’t just get caught. You couldn’t also count the times that he’d turn the table around and find some guy to link you with. It tricked you into believing that it was your fault that he did it. That he regrets being with you.

You couldn’t also fathom that you cried yourself to sleep because of him. He wouldn’t respond at parties and it would take him days before responding. He made you feel that you are never good enough for him, damaging your self-esteem and confidence in the process. And then he would go full circle and be over the top with surprises and gifts. He starts to go all soft on you and made you weak against his touch and kisses. It’s reminder that only him can make you feel that good, even if he’s also the one who caused you pain.

You also turned your back against everyone. Nobody could contact you for months. It was mostly you, trying to keep your ego intact. You can already hear them mocking you and will remind you that they told you so. He also convinced you that nobody else will love you like he did. The absence of your friends and family made you lonely. It was like they didn’t even miss your presence. And so you clung unto him more.

But everyone has their breaking point. At that point, you’re numbed out. You didn’t even cry as you saw him bringing someone into your own home. It was the wakeup call that you needed to get away from him. You finally realized that you didn’t deserve to be treated like trash and broke things off with him right then and there.

He didn’t like that one bit. He saw you as his possession and no one can take you away from him easily. Yuta started following you around wherever you’ll go and asked you to talk things out with him. He’ll pop in at your office, at the club where you would drink your troubles away, or at any possible location where he knows that you would see him. He was switching back and forth from begging and reminding you the memories you both had into going full psycho and texting you that you’ll regret ever leaving him.

It made you so paranoid that you just flat out refused to go outside at the fear of meeting him. The girls wanted to do something about your condition, and decided that the best thing to get your mind off of things was to surprise you on your birthday.

They brought your favorite food with them and decorated the party with your favorite colors. It was unexpected and you even apologized to everyone for causing them trouble. The night made happy that night and finally be able to smile for the first time in months. All was going well until everyone decided to go outside and take a group photo. Yuta popped out of nowhere and started dragging you away. You were crying and begging him to let you go but he insisted that he needs to talk to you and it wouldn’t take a while.

All hell broke loose. The guys rushed outside to intervene. Sophie’s then boyfriend (now husband), was a big, strong man and was able to grab him by the collar and beat the living crap out of him right in front of you. The sudden violence made you cry harder than earlier. There was nothing that you can do besides watch as everything go down. Both the police and the paramedics came right after and disturbed the whole neighborhood.

That day was still, hands-down, the most awful day of your life. The memory was so horrifying that your birthday is doomed for life. Nobody ever tried to do something for your birthday again, as per your wishes.

You strike yourself as lucky that you don’t have to go to a psychiatrist or drink meds anymore to sleep. Flashbacks make you shake a little bit, but at least that’s manageable. You cannot say the same thing about meeting Yuta once again.

///

“Here’s your stop. I’m sorry I couldn’t drop you off by Y/N’s apartment. The street was small and it would be difficult to turn the van around.”

“It’s totally fine. Walking won’t hurt me.”

Taeyong grabbed his duffel bag and his guitar from the backseat and steps outside the vehicle. He waved at them goodbye before the van went back to the road. He adjusted the straps of his guitar case and duffel bag so he can carry them both comfortably as he begins to walk towards your place.

It was eerily quiet at that time and something just didn’t feel right. He tried to shake the feeling off and increasing his walking pace. It didn’t take long before he can see the building from a distance.

He didn’t know if he was just imagining things but he could’ve sworn that he saw a dark figure lurking in the darkness surrounding your apartment. He muttered a series of curses made a run for it.

///

Your thoughts were interrupted when you thought you heard footsteps coming from outside your house. You were jolted awake and started going into panic. Your heart pounded so much that you can hear it ringing through your ears. You forced yourself to not mind the sound and convinced yourself that you’re just imagining it.

You felt your heart drop as you heard the front door opening and swung slowly. You can definitely hear footsteps just right outside your door. That’s impossible. You locked every single entrance that night. Mind is getting a bit hazy at this point from hyperventilating. Despite this, you grabbed anything that you can get your hands on and decided to face the intruder head on.

You opened your bedroom door just started wielding the thing you are holding at whoever it is that’s outside. You heard a loud thud at the ground and a guy squirming in place.

“Oh shit.”

You quickly realized who it is and threw the blunt object away, now realizing that it’s a tripod. You kneeled down right in front of him and started panicking again. This time, it’s for a whole other reason.

“Oh my god, Taeyong. Are you okay?”

---

#nct au #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct 127 #nct u x reader #nct taeyong #nct fic #lee taeyong #taeyong imagines #taeyong scenarios #rockstar au #journalist au #yuta nakamoto #johnny suh #mark lee #kim doyoung #nctcreations

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bobfloydssunnies · 4 years ago

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would you believe me if i said it originally was supposed to be happy but then about halfway through i changed it

A Feeling

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Rating: PG nothing crazy just a little sadness I guess

Summary: What if Poe was force sensitive or could use the force but only told a few people

Word Count: 2.6k

Note: This is my first work for Poe (please be kind). I don’t know if I really love this also idk if i like how i write but I’m trying to keep everything gender neutral so no one feels left out also this came out a lot longer than I originally planned

It started with the force tree that was planted in the backyard of his house when he was young; he just remembers being drawn to it, which turned into his parents explaining what that meant. He was young at the time and didn’t fully understand what it meant, but his mom told him it means he’s special and that once he’s older, he can learn how to use it and use it for good. He remembers Leia or Luke being around for a while and teaching him a few little things when they’d come to visit his parents. But once Ben came along and once Luke started his Jedi academy, the visits slowed before stopping altogether. So Poe took to learning alone and trying to remember things he had seen Luke and Leia do or even talk about so he could at least understand and use the gift he has. Around the time Poe turned 10 or 11, he remembers his dad asking him if he wanted to go off to train with Luke, which he said no to not wanting to leave his dad alone after just losing his mom a few years before.

So as Poe entered his teen years, he stopped practicing anything related to using the force and focused on flying, knowing he wanted to be a pilot like his mom was. Once he could, he went off and joined the new republic navy, worked hard, and became a commander and found bb8 along the way. But as Poe was raising ranks in the navy, the first order was rising to power as well. At this time, Leia reached out to Poe, asking him to come and join the resistance. He said yes, knowing it was what his mom would have done, so he left the navy and headed off to help save the galaxy and make his mom proud.

Once with the resistance, Poe quickly became the “poster boy” as well as the one Leia trusted the most for solo missions. Of course, no one within the resistance beside Leia and bb8 knew Poe was force sensitive and could use the force to an extent because if too many people know it becomes dangerous because you can never know who to trust in the time like this. While out on missions, especially with others, Poe tries not to rely too much on the force, but sometimes it’s hard to avoid the pull when he can feel it tug him away from danger or warn him before something happens, and he can prevent it. There are times where he can feel it calling out to him and helping him along the way. Poe won’t lie and say it’s not great for little mind tricks every once in a while or moving objects when need be. But like with every good thing, there’s always a downside which Poe tries to make sure it doesn’t get to him but, it’s hard sometimes because it’s not always something he can see coming no matter how many times it happens. The worst thing is that once you are connected to someone in any way and gain a connection with them through the force, you can feel them, which means losing that person hurts a lot more.

“I felt it you know” he had said randomly while the two of you were laying in bed one night “felt what?” you asked confused by his sudden outburst “the day my mom died I felt it,” he said quieter, you sat up watching his face you could see the range of emotions he was going through “Oh Poe I’m sorry,” you said grabbing his hand, you could see his eyes start to get glossy “ I - I just miss her so much sometimes and like I can’t forget what it felt like when it happened,” he said holding back tears “Poe, babe I can’t imagine having to go through that, and I will never know the pain you went through,” you tell him trying to soothe him the best you can “ I just want to make her proud but it’s so hard to feel so together all the time when I can feel so much” he said rubbing his eyes “Poe no one is excepting you to always have it together” you tell him pulling him towards you, you running your hands through is hair lightly scratching his scalp trying to calm him down “But Leia needs me to do all this stuff and I can’t let the squadron down” he mumbles into your neck “Baby no one is expecting you to always be so put together you also don’t have to suffer alone I’m always here for you and you know beebs will listen to you too” you say into his hair because pressing a kiss to his tempt, you hear him sigh “I know but” “no buts we are here for you no matter what” you say cuttting him off, he moves so that his forehead is resting on your should “i love you” he whispers “ i love you too flyboy” you say back quietly this a smile on your face.

The First Order had pulled a final play Palpatine was back no one knew how but he was back and the first order spy said you had 16 hours to figure out how to stop him before the Final Order would rise. Rey decided this meant she was to figure without alone because she felt it was her job to finish what Luke started but she forgot how stubborn her friends could be which is how you, Poe, Finn, Chewie, BB8 and Rey all ended up on the Falcon together going off to search for a wayfinder.

Things were not going well. Each planet brought a new problem and also fixed a previous on all at the same time.

On Pasaana, after thinking it would be easy, you were chased by stormtroopers. Rey and Ren faced off after Chewie was put onto a transport ship that Rey then destroyed. You also all realized the only way to get the information out of C3PO was to find someone to break into his system and bypass the block set in place. Then on Kimiji, you were brought you face to face with some old friends of Poe’s that seemed to have it out for him. C3PO losing all his memories as a result of us bypassing the block because he knew it was the right thing to do to help his friends. Then Ren finding us again, but Rey sensing Chewie was still alive and on the destroyer Ren brought.

Getting into the destroyer was easy. Poe’s “friend” had given him a medallion that would give him the clearance to board the ship and allow us to come in and rescue Chewie. Once running the halls, Rey stopped and said she would find the blade leaving you, Poe and Finn to find Chewie. It was going all well and smooth till Poe got grazed by a blaster shot coming around a corner. Soon surrounded by stormtroopers and cuffed, you were lead to some general, and he gave the orders to execute you all. Hux was told to see to it along with four stormtroopers; you were lead to a room “I’m sorry” Poe said looking over at you “For what” you asked him “Bringing you along” he said “Poe you wouldn’t have been able to stop me” I told him. Your backs where to Hux and the troopers when you heard Hux say he wanted to do it himself, and you could hear him take the gun from whichever trooper handed it to him, and you braced yourself. The first shot came quickly, followed by three more, but you all realized you were still standing. Turning around you saw all the troopers on the ground “I’m the spy” Hux quickly spit out “I knew it” Poe said “No you didn’t” Finn said “Why” You asked “I don’t care if you win I want to see Ren lose” he said as he quickly released your binders. He led you to the Falcon and then said one of you needed to shoot him in the arm, Finn shot him in the leg instead as you, Poe and Chewie ran to the ship. As quickly as you could, you got the ship ready and waited for Rey.

Crash landing wasn’t the best, but the landing gear was shot, and you had no other choice. You were met by locals who lived on the planet after Rey pointed out where on the wreck of the death star she needed to get to in order to retrieve the other wayfinder. Jannah, you later learned, was extremely helpful when it came to fixing up ships, and Finn and her seemed to have a connection. You heard beebee roll in “what do you mean you haven’t seen her” you heard Poe say before running out of the falcon with Finn and Jannah quickly behind them; you followed only to catch the end of the conversation that Rey had taken a skimmer out onto the rough water. You could hear Poe and Finn arguing, “well, I’m not Leia” you heard Poe spit out, “That’s for damn sure” Finn spit back before stalking past you. beebee beeped next to you. “You do help them on the falcon; I’ll take care of Poe, buddy,” you tell him. You walked down the hill, some to where Poe was sitting. “Hey,” you say, “Come to yell at me too,” he asked, “No, I came to see if you’re alright, jerk” You speak with a slight grin “Sorry,” he apologized. “Hey it’s okay we are all running a little thin and the time deadline isn’t helping maybe we sit here for a minute and cool down,” you tell him “We gotta fix the falcon,” he says “Alright then let’s go do that,” you say holding your hand out to him.

Finn and Jannah set out across the water and slowly got smaller in the distance, and the rest of you set to work fixing the falcon or at least getting it flyable. Its been some time of you all quietly working and the only noises coming from tools, bb8 and d-o or the occasional grunt from Chewie or Poe. You had stopped for a moment and looked over to Poe just to see how he was doing when suddenly you could see a change on his face something happened. He felt it and whatever it was it hurt you could see the tears building up in his eyes “Poe you okay” you asked, he looked up and gave a weak smile before wiping his eyes “Um yeah I’m fine” he said quietly before turning back around to continue what he was working on. You couldn’t figure out the best time to ask Poe what had happened because you also didn’t know if he wanted to talk about it. Finn and Jannah returned after a while with the news that had found Rey, but she was fighting Ren.

Once the Falcon was back up and running as a group, you decided to leave Rey, but with a promise from Jannah if she needs them to come back to contact you guys. Shortly after taking off, you had convinced Poe you needed his help with a repair you could do while flying “Poe what happened earlier” you asked him, “What the argument with Finn, that was nothing” he said. “No Poe, that’s not what I mean; I mean, what did you feel earlier while we were working on repairs,” you asked, “Um, it’s nothing,” he said, trying to move away from you. You grabbed his hand holding him in place “It wasn’t nothing I saw the tears Poe just let me be here for you,” you say taking your free hand to move the curl that was covering his eyes “It’s Leia” he whispers, your heart dropped you knew what he meant “She…” “Yeah, I think she did it to help Rey, but I don’t know but kriff it hurts” he chokes out, he pulled you into his chest you could feel the tears land on your head, but you just kept holding onto him and rubbing his back “It’s like I lost my mom all over again” he mumbled into your hair “I’m sorry, I wish I could make it better,” you tell him “This helps you being here helps I’m sorry for not saying anything earlier,” he says “Poe I don’t expect you to tell me everything right away especially when it’s something like this and it hurts as much as this does but, I want you to know I’m always here for you no matter what,” you tell him

Arriving back on base was hard knowing what you were walking into; you grabbed Poe’s hand as you both followed after Finn. “We need to talk to Leia,” Finn said, walking the familiar path to where she and Rose usually were. You could feel Poe tense up and make a small noise, “What” Finn asked, turning around looking at Poe. Poe opened his mouth to speak when you heard Rose yell in the distance “There you guys are it’s Leia something happened” She says as she gets closer “Maz is pretty sure what she’s done, but she wants to talk to Poe first” Rose said leading you back to command central. You felt Poe squeeze your hand like it was trying to make sure you were real. “Poe, you should know Leia made you the acting general,” Rose said as Poe pulled you along with him to where he knows Maz is, “Alright um when I get back we’ll talk more,” he said trying to keep his emotions in check.

You soon found yourself outside the room you knew Maz and Leia were in, Poe took a deep breath “I can wait out here if you want I don’t want to invade on this” you tell him hanging back a little. “Please don’t,” he whispered, holding your hand tighter “Okay,” you reply softly; you let him lead you in the room. Maz was standing there waiting, Leia laying on the bed covered in a sheet you felt tears threaten to spill over, and Poe’s grip on your hand got a little tighter. “I know what you felt Poe and I think you know why she did it” Maz spoke, Poe nodded “She still believes in him, and I know it’s hard for any of us to understand why but this is her wish” Maz continued, Poe sat down next to Leia pulling you with him. He let go of your hand and held his hands in front of his face. “I don’t know how to do any of this,” he spoke. “How am I supposed just to take over the whole resistance and know how to handle it all?” he continued. “None of us knew what we were doing,” a new voice said, looking over you saw Lando come into the room “Luke Han Leia none of us knew what we were doing, but we knew people believed and that if we had them, then we could do it.” he continued, Poe looked over at him. Lando gave him a soft smile “She believed in you to take over it’s time to believe in yourself.” Lando said before disappearing again. Poe sat there silent with tears running down his face “whatever you decide to do, I’ll be right beside you flyboy,” you said before grabbing his hair again and squeezing it.

permanent taglist: @poesflygirl

#poe's girl [nat's tag]#feedback

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bluewritesao3 · 4 years ago

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The Handyman: New House & Pot Noodles

Word count: 2.9k

Pairing: Paz Vizsla X Fem!OC

Warnings: Non other than slight embarrassment and talk of car sex (I’m covering all my bases just in case)

Taglist: @maybege, @legally-a-bastard @gallowsjoker

A/N: for new or old readers this has been revamped as an x reader. simple because I’ve been finding it easier to write x readers than i have ocs recently. So please enjoy it and you can come scream at me if you like but don’t forget to reblog cause it helps more than likes do.

Gif credit: @hanyuume

Masterlist | Posted on A03

“Remind me why people move houses?” You whined into the phone wedged between your shoulder and your chin as your co-worker’s laugh sounded through the receiver. “Seriously Jadu. Meetings with the publishing team are more fun.” You scolded pulling another cardboard box marked with ‘kitchen�� in messy sharpie closer to you. You thought there was something wrong with the house or the neighborhood when you originally saw the shockingly low offering price for the house.

With the heavy cardboard tucked under one arm, You singlehandedly heaved it onto the kitchen counter and sliced through all the packaging tape with a box cutter that was wobbly at best. “It's new and sometimes it’s hard, Y/N/N. Remember college-“ Jadu spilt down the phone regaling you with the tale of how he’d walked into their shared accommodation while you were in nothing but a towel. “There's also that midnight romp-“

“I’m going to hang up if you continue.” You scolded as you began to unpack the kitchen box. “But still. Who thinks that car sex is comfortable? I’m sure the searing wheel was trying to merge with my spine.” You joked remembering how the thing had dug into the small of your back and no amount of kissing and touching could distract you from that. Slowly you floated around the small kitchen storing everything away into its proper place, eventually, the house was beginning to look lived in and to like it had sat empty for what the estate agent had described as years.

Glancing at the circular dining table, it had several boxes piled onto it dangerously. You’d chosen to take the majority of moving and reorganising yourself since the other things you were bringing with you was kitchen, bedroom, bathroom and your office. “Still can’t believe you moved out to the middle of nowhere into an almost fully furnished house for dirt-cheap.” Jadu muttered, taking charge of the conversation and expressing his distaste for the house and ‘energy’ around it. You rolled your eyes, and you disposed of the phone on the kitchen counter and hit the loudspeaker button as you tuned to start flattening the cardboard box out while listening to Jadu ramble on about how the photo’s he’d seen of the house were everything but welcoming and that the energy levels were out of ‘whack’.

You muttered quietly to yourself as you went in search of the crumpled water bottle from your bag leaving Jadu to his ramblings even if he believed his concerns were justified. “Have you ever met your neighbours?” Jadu’s recognisably brash tone echoed through the newly packed away kitchen.

You stopped threshold into the kitchen as you took a more than generous gulp from the water bottle, the question had sparked a memory for earlier in the day. “Honestly I’m surprised the neighbourhood welcome committee hasn’t made an appearance.” You chuckled, picking up the phone and placing it on top of the two boxes titled ‘Bedroom’. “How are things at work anyway?” You asked, seeing as you’d now become part of the growing percentage of people working from home.

You listened to Jadu sigh heavily and began talking about how he was missing out on stuff because the company wasn’t allowing him to have as much time off as he used to but given that he worked with a very picky publishing team then it was expected that his workload was almost never-ending. “I mean someone in publishing is giving me a deadline for editing a manuscript that doesn’t belong to one of their clients. Do you see my issue here?” Jadu complained, sounding as if he was passing through the seven stages of grief and got stuck somewhere between bargaining and anger.

You hummed quietly as you ascended the stairs of the old house with a cardboard box under your arm and the other waiting at the bottom of the stairs for when you made the next trip. “Is it Nyla? She’s department head and might be very aware of how ‘quickly’ you zoom through stuff.” You smirked hearing the hefty huff from Jadu on the other end of the phone, Jadu had a pension for leaving some projects till the last minute and then pushing them onto someone else days before the deadline. “Speak of the devil…” Jadu began and added a hurried ‘I gotta go’ before he hung up the phone. Shaking your head, you laughed a little as you stood in the doorway to your bedroom. Whoever lived there previously had removed the door and hadn’t bothered to replace it. The room was sparsely decorated, missing a door and the pastel-painted walls made you want to throw something but at least the mattress looked like it didn’t have any funky-looking stains or weird smells and the rest of the furniture was intact.

“I have to get a bedroom door.” You breathed, settling on the mattress with the box next to you as you fell backwards and released a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. “I have to get food too.” You lamented the idea of your fridge being empty then takeaway sounded good, but you didn’t know what the local one was. “Guess I need to go to the store.” You huffed checking the time on your phone trying to decide if it’s worth going food shopping.

You revealed in the fact that her local grocery store wasn’t a long trek into town, the small grocery store felt like a glowing beacon in the afternoon of the quiet town. Stepping through the automated door, you immediately hesitated not knowing where anything was and almost scolded yourself for thinking that the store's layout was the same as the ones back home. Grabbing a basket, you set off on a small journey looking for anything that looked like it took the least amount of effort and time.

With time you came to know the store and tried to memorise the layout in case you’d need to make another trip during the week. You wandered through the aisles glancing at almost every shelf looking for the next thing on your list of foodie wants. “There you are,” You muttered as you settled your gaze on multiple packages of hard candy, heart stones, they were lightly spiced with cinnamon and reminded you of home and your grandparents, when they used to sneak you a packet every time they visited. “Wasn’t sure if I’d ever find you here.” You whispered to the packs of candy before hucking a total of six of the fairly small packets into the basket along with the pot noodles.

Pulling yourself away from the shelves you continued down the aisle and tried to mentally tally up the contents of your basket before colliding with something solid, sending you back a few steps. “Oh, sweet Jesus.” You yelped, almost giving yourself whiplash as you took in the tall mountain of a guy you’d bumped into. “Sorry about that. Didn’t see you there.” You apologised smiling brightly, as you readjusted your grip on the basket. The washed-out dark blue sweatshirt with a faded with a washed-out college emblem was the first thing that caught your attention simply because it took up most of your vision then it was the sheer size of the guy, he was almost as tall as he was wide or as your grandmother would have put it, he was built to last.

“You alright?” He asked, looking slightly panicked with a large hand extended almost like he was ready to catch her as if she was going to fall. You nodded, muttering your apologies and glanced over your shoulder at the elderly woman at the other end of the aisle seemingly waiting for them both to move. “No harm done.” He smiled and you had to almost choke on the almost inhuman noises trying to escape you. In your head, you were muttering about how downright adorable the guy’s smile was and how stupid you were for saying you didn’t see him there. He’s probably tall enough to change your lightbulbs without a ladder. “Dude how tall are you?” You rushed out before you could grab the words and push them through a verbal processor. Hearing a bassy chuckle rumble out of the man and you joined in almost embarrassed and awkwardly, feeling a warmth radiating from your cheeks and ears. “I’m sorry that’s weird. I’ll be going now.” You motioned as she stepped to the side and the tall guy followed, stepping in front of her again, you stepped to the right and he almost panicked he swapped sides and you unconsciously followed. They both dissolved into a side-to-side step dance almost everyone did at least once in their life.

Ducking down trying to hide the slight flush warming your skin as you glanced over your shoulder at the elderly woman whose shoulders were quietly quacking as she muttered to the teenage boy holding up the seemingly overflowing basket in both hands. “Attracted an audience, haven't we?” The tall guy observed, and you tossed a half-hearted glare at him as you tried to almost disappear into the shelves. “I’m 6’5 by the way.” He muttered sliding past you and went on his way deeper into the relatively small grocery store.

Almost like you were on autopilot, you wandered back towards the front of the grocery store to pay for your questionable food shopping. You attempted to make small talk with the young 17-year-old pottering about behind the counter, but it wasn’t returned and you marked it up to being wary of newcomers. “Thank you. Have a nice night.” You thanked lifting the plastic bag off of the counter and began the journey home.

“I am so fucking stupid,” You half yelled, and half sang into the silence of your entry hall. “How is that the first thing I say to someone.” You continued tossing your keys on the smallish storage cabinet to your left knowing the Jadu would tease you with the knowledge for eras to some. Muttering to yourself and wandered back into your barely lived-in kitchen and slammed the nondescript shopping bag on the counter and began making one of the pot noodles and tossing the rest of them into the cupboard above your head.

Still feeling the heat of your embarrassment you deflated slightly and leaned against the counter. “Dude how tall are you?” You question yourself again with a hint of disbelief even though you were sure that the guy's hands could easily cover your face. Robotically, you grabbed the kettle and began making your pot noodle, you‘d barely gotten the fork in your mouth when a soft knocking sounded against your front door. “Who in the hell.” You muttered skittering towards your front door leaving the pot noodle on the counter, the small strip of frosted glass on either side of your front door did little to give you an idea of who was standing on the porch.

Pulling open the door, you stood in your socks searching an empty porch for who' knocked on your door. Already you thought the neighbourhood’s kids were playing tricks on you. Moving to step on to the porch almost kicking into something warm and injuring yourself. You glanced down at the warmth on your toes, a Tupperware container sat close to your front door you were surprised that you hadn’t put her foot in it when she stepped out the door. “Um hello?” you greeted the container sceptically as she crouched down to collect it. “Thank you f-for the soup?” You thanked and questioned the container as you curiously tilted the container from side to side watching the soupy liquid inside move with your movements.

As you stepped back into your house you wondered if whatever was in the container would keep till tomorrow. Heading back into the kitchen you placed the container on the counter and unfolded the piece of paper taped to the side of it.

‘Hi, I live across the street and since you’re new here. And I guessed your fridge was probably empty, so I made a little extra broth and packed it up for you. Don’t worry it’ll keep till tomorrow just put it on the stove on medium heat for 20 minutes or in the microwave for the same. Welcome to the neighbourhood - Omera’ The note read, and you smiled at the kindness of Omera, a woman you’d yet to put a face to, while stuffing another fork full of pot noodle into your mouth, you tucked the note back into its original place and stored the container of broth away in her empty fridge.

You released a huff as you tried to make yourself taller to reach the bathroom windows handle, the steam from your most recent shower was so dense that it just didn’t want to dissipate and with a tight grip on the counter, you doubled your efforts and finally got the window open. With pride in your step, you wandered into your new bedroom with your toothbrush hanging out of your mouth as a familiar ring tone pierced the quiet of your bedroom. Without looking, you answered the phone and set it on loudspeaker, “Hello, you're on loudspeaker.” You garbled out as you rinsed your mouth out and placed your toothbrush by the sink. “Do you know how many times I’ve called you!” Your mom yelled through the phone and you visibly cringed at the sharpness in your mother’s tone, the woman was a force to be reckoned with when she wanted to be. “Anything could have happened. Are you sure the neighbourhood’s safe enough?” Your mother rattled on worrying about you even though you were in your 30’s with a stable income and living alone.

Smiling at the sentiment you grabbed your phone and climbed into the bed. “I’m fine Mom. The neighbourhood seems safe enough. I mean aren’t the estate agents legally obligated to tell me if it wasn’t.” You muttered as you settled crossed legged at the head of the bed, the weirdly comfortably headboard cushioned your back as you leaned back into it and the pillows to get comfortable. “What’ve I missed first? Is Dad still looking for work?” You asked as you placed the phone on the pillow next to you, warmth filled you as you silently listened to your mom explain how another nameless auntie had a baby, another cousin getting engaged and how your step-dad, Lanth; a man who’d worked the majority of his life, still refuse to take his retirement and you didn’t think he’d ever actually take it at this point.

“You know how Lanth is. Honestly, I’m starting to think I married a 20-year-old in an old man’s body.” Your mom explained you smiled at the warmth you heard in your mom's voice and when you’d originally met Lanth you’d been sceptical as every teenager was of their parent's new boyfriends or girlfriends. “But enough about us. What about you? Hm. How’s the new house?” Your mom asked, sounding as eager as you had when you’d originally agreed to drive out to meet the estate agent and view the house.

Reaching behind you to prop up the pillows a little and pull the clean sheets over yourself, you sighed a little, feeling a wave of tiredness trying to overtake your body. “Nevarro’s housing market hasn’t inflated like the rest of the states but honestly I’ve been waiting for someone to tell me that it's haunted or in a bad neighbourhood.” You stated relishing in the soft fresh scent of your sheets in comparison to the musty old smell the other ones had. Your mom's voice was muffled on the other side of the phone as if she was talking to someone or left the TV on a little too loud. “The pastel bedroom walls make me want to throw something...but what are you whispering about?” You questioned yawning halfway through the sentence as you slowly began to settle down for the night.

On the other end of the phone, your mom sighed heavily, and it was the tell-tale sign that usually came before news that you wasn’t going to like. “Lanth said there's a Mandalorian settlement out that way and that you might want to be careful.” Your mom explained, concerned and a little off as if she was relaying what was being said to her. You hummed in agreement; you knew not all of Lanth’s people were the same, but they were best approached with caution just in case. “Anyway, I’ll let you go. Goodnight. Love you baby.”

“Goodnight. Love you both.” You smiled into your pillow as you heard the baritone of Lanth through the phone telling her to sleep well and to be careful. You watched the screen blink a few times telling you that your mom had hung up the phone, sleep tugged at you as you pulled the sheets up under your chin and glanced around the bedroom one final time to centre yourself. “I still have to get a door.” You muttered staring at the dark abyss of the hallway before rolling over and trying to ignore the unsettling inky darkness but with the bedside lamp on you slowly began to drift off into a slight sleep.

#The Handyman #handyman!paz #blue writes #paz vizsla #paz vizla #paz vizsla x reader #paz vizla x reader

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